#also all of them are rude and. during my first appointment they were like you have to do everything we tell you to do or else

[tkbrokkoli]

foaming from the mouth.

this nurse was like you're too late for your appointment we have already called in the next patient, meanwhile I was literally three fucking minutes (3!!!!) too late bc i struggled 5 min to lock up my stupid ass bike and also.

during previous appointments i had to wait a quarter of an hour to be called in despite being on time. like. they've made me wait on purpose before.

like. what. I'm too late? I'm too late? tell me about being too late. you tell me about it. you tell me about it alright

[cat-in-a-mech-suit]

Transmasculinity Throughout Time: Dr James Barry

Part 2! Here we go. James Barry was the first European doctor to successfully perform a C section where both the mother and child survived, which is cool to me because I was born via C section. He was born in 1789, but lied that he was younger on documents in order to pass - people described him as young looking and soft featured with a boyish voice, but never questioned in his gender. Despite adamantly stating he was a man for his whole adult life and only being revealed as transgender after death, he is still referred to as a “a woman ahead of her time” in the Guardian in 2016 and argued to have only presented as a man to enter the male-dominated medical field. In his wikipedia page, he is only referred to by his last name, not he/him pronouns. This is another example of the transmasculine erasure done by cis feminist historians that I mentioned in my last post in this series. Instead of doing this, cis feminists, here is what you can do: accept and include transmasculine experiences as a part of feminist narratives, not in contradiction to them, and if you can’t do that, at least actually do some research on the women who were practicing medicine at the time, and acknowledge their accomplishments instead of stealing and erasing transmasculine history! To all students of history, and especially anyone who cares about queer/trans history: stop erasing trans men (and all trans and nonbinary people) and explaining us away. Come face to face with our existence. Can you do that?

Alright.

Barry was a British imperial surgeon. When he was 19, he expressed longing to be a soldier, and he later joined the British army. Eeh, I know. His official title quickly ascended to Colonel Medical Inspector. If it wasn’t for his privilege, his gender transgression would likely have not been so easily forgiven and explained away through infantilization and feminist narratives during and after his life. However, he still faced great challenges.

In his profession, he was unlike others because he spent time around and advocated for the most marginalized in society - prisoners, mentally ill, lepers, poor people, and enslaved people. He did this even though it made him vulnerable and eccentric to those around him. His bluntness and need to make change made him extremely challenged and unpopular among his fellow officers, and he survived on his professionalism and bravado alone, enduring an accusation of “conduct unbecoming of the character of an Officer and a Gentleman” for a clash with another surgeon, of which he was acquitted thereafter. He also got into a pistol duel and won against Captain Josias Cloete of the 21st Light Dragoons. Generally, he was described as both rude and unafraid to speak his mind, as well as sometimes overly polite, with a good bedside manner. People were confused by him because he didn’t fit into society, and they constantly speculated on his life and tried to diminish him and the advocacy that he did.

He was first appointed to his position and was able to keep it despite challenges to his authority because of his “close friendship” with the Governor, Lord Charles Somerset (we all know what close friendship means when historians say it). In 1824, he was slandered, put on trial, and investigated when someone said that they “detected Lord Charles buggering Dr Barry.” James Barry is an important historical example of transhomophobia. Unlike what TEHMs and their ilk believe, queer trans men in fact have been experiencing homophobia all this time. James Barry experienced the same homophobia as a cis gay man would at the time, with the additional pressure of being a trans man who had to pass as a cis man to live as himself: transhomophobia. As a queer trans man, thinking about what he must have gone through makes my stomach hurt.

In 1857, he was appointed to be the Inspector of Hospitals in Canada, and he made significant improvements to sanitation and care for prisoners and lepers during his short time in that position. He was forcibly resigned against his will after only two years, because of his supposed poor health.

Before he died of dysentery in 1865, he asked for his person to not be examined at all. His wishes were disobeyed. He was outed as trans and subsequently, his life was either erased or stolen from him and written as that of a woman. To avoid a scandal, all army records of him were locked for 100 years, until in 1958, a biography of him was written by a cis woman historian, who wrote about him as a woman pretending to be a man and erased his transness. Barry’s own doctor said after his death that “it was none of my business whether Dr. Barry was a male or a female” and suggested that he might have been intersex.

Interestingly, he was also known for an incident in which he scolded Florence Nightingale for poor sanitary practices, which she complained about after he died, saying he was “the most hardened creature I had ever met.”

[madi2112]

Pride at the Capital 2024

Two awesome days with Team Cher

Day Two:

Up bright and early today to partake in an 8am committee meeting about yet another silly pointless bill the hate mongering Majority Party is trying to get passed.

This one banning anything they define as a "political" flag or even picture or reproduction of a flag anywhere in a government area. This includes schools, airports. Etc.

They have labeled the rainbow 🌈 flag "political" and want to ban it. The real goal of the bill.

The meeting was filled with right wing rhetoric and lies (as usual) and when it was finally time for public comments the vastly overwhelming majority were against the bill.

So many people spoke out against the bill that the time per speaker kept getting reduced. From 3 minutes to 1 minute then 30 seconds to none at all. Dozens of people (including me, but luckily 2 of my team members did get to speak) never got to add thier thoughts to those already opposing the bill.

Didn't matter.

The bill passed the committee along party lines. No surprise there.

<Team Cher member speaking to deaf ears>

More delivered more bill information sheets and attempts at walk up appointments until our next meeting. Which was an interesting one.

A very interesting one.

We were meeting with a film crew who would be our companions for the rest of the day.

Yep, I (and Team Cher) are part of a documentary to air later this year (on Prime and Hulu) about those of us combating the horrible things happening in Florida. We are just a segment in the program along with a look at an Openly LGBT Senator candidate and Equality Florida in general.

They filmed our pre-meeting game plan session, one meeting with a wonderfully supportive Senator, our post meeting thoughts with both Senators, including the meeting with a someone from the opposition party.

Then lastly they filmed our overall thoughts and reflections on the two days of work we put in.

Can't wait to see how it's all put together!

Lunch was provided by the Florida Democratic Party in there conference room and media center.

We left just enough time to run down to the rotunda again (the stairs were faster then the wait for an elevator) to support another Equality Florida press conference.

<I'm just over the speakers left shoulder >

Our afternoon meeting was with Senator Torres from Orlando.

He's a terrific ally and has a grand daughter who is a transwoman.

Needless to say the 22 bills introduced already this session by the Majority Party is something he loudly opposes.

He did welcome the film crew so you will be able to see and hear his words of profound wisdom. Truly inspiring.

<Senator Torres, in the tie, being an inspiration >

The last meeting of the day was with a Senator from the oppressors (sorry. I mean opposition) party.

He was less the enthusiastic about our meeting.

Still we agreed in our strategy meeting (being filmed) we would be friendly, respectful and professional.

We were the only ones.

The senator first limited our group to only two of us, claiming his office was too small.

To bad there were couches and chairs for at least 6 in the office and an empty meeting room next door.

Then took a phone call during the alloted 15 minutes. Which didn't go even a second longer despite the call mid meeting.

He was also dismissive, confrontational and rude.

All of which we let the film crew and Democratic House leaders know about.

They weren't surprised.

The whole encounter brought on the feelings that we are fighting the evil Galactic Empire.

Enhanced by the string of 9 straight middle age (and older) white men in nearly matching suits, white shirts and ties marching into the Republican office as we arrived.

The next coming of stormtroopers.

Then I looked at the 8 of us. Diverse, colorful, full of conviction and belief in what's right.

Like a band of rebel fighters.

Hopefully we can fight them off before they takeover completely.

I felt like I was part of the solution. Part of fighting the good fight against those wanting a facist theocracy run by heartless, evil wanna be dictators.

The last bit of business was the wrap up interviews for the film crew. We all chipped in with our feelings about the event, the real struggles we faced and how we bonded as a group. This was filmed outdoors in front of the capital where just hours ago we took the group photo.

Saying goodbye was all that was left and more then a few tears were shed.

Along with a group hug.

Even our captain, who has done these teams many times before, said this group was special and one of a kind in how we bonded.

We agreed to try to reunite next year and I hope it happens.

If not, it was a life changing, inspiring and emotional 2 days.

So to Devon, Charles, Stephanie, Marissa Katie, Corey and Tanya, I'll never forget this and will always be part of #TeamCher4life.

~Madison

[arickaandherfictionalothers]

Descendants canon chapter four: vaccinations and assessments

(CONTENT WARNING: heavy mentions of needles and vaccinations, please read at your own risk.)

Top to bottom: Gil, Jane, Aricka Page and Aziz :)

The group eventually made their way to the Auradon Prep Library, and settled at the various tables in the room. The Jr Council assembled around the Fairy Godmother; Verna LaFae.

The motherly Fae smiled at the gathered children, “Welcome, all of you; to Auradon. I’m the Fairy Godmother, and I’m also the headmistress here at Auradon Prep. I’m here to help and support you in your transition from the Isle to Auradon, along with the future heirs of the kingdoms of Auradon. You know them as the Jr Council. Now; what we’re about to have you all do, is complete a series of assessment tests. The tests will only go over the major subjects: English/Language Arts, Math, Science, Auradon and Isle History, and Health. We’ll do one test at a time, but I don’t want any of you to worry. Just do your very best, these tests are designed for me to be able to best place you where you can thrive and learn at your best pace. This will also help me make your schedules.”

The VKs all glanced at one another; and Aricka Charming caught at least two worried looks being shared, several doubtful looks, and a couple confident faces.

Miss Verna passed out the tests and Doug gave out pencils and scratch paper, and with a flick of the wand, the assessments began.

~~~~~~~~~~ time jump~~~~~~~~~~~

Aricka was the first to notice one of the new students struggling, and it was almost instinctive for her to walk over to Harry, sit beside him; and clear her throat so he wasn’t startled by her sudden appearance. “Harry… please don’t be offended by what I’m about to ask- but are you having a problem reading the text?” She asks gently. The brunette pirate grips the pencil so tightly she was worried it would snap in half, but he nods slowly. “Well, that’s not a problem. You might need an eye appointment- I’ll make a note for your upcoming physical.”

“I can see just fine,” he growled suddenly; but Aricka was prepared for this moment.

“Harry.. are the words fuzzy? Or blurry? Like the words are obscured by rain?” The boy goes silent. “I had that same issue. Turns out I have an astigmatism in both my eyes, along with my left eye having what’s called amblyopia, or lazy eye. My left eye was weaker than my right when I was younger; and now I wear glasses to correct my vision. It’s nothing to be afraid of or embarrassed about. A lot of people in Auradon wear glasses.”

“… it’s no’ a weakness?” The accent tickled her ears, and she nods, a soft smile on her face.

“No, Harry, it’s not a weakness. Mr. Smee- he wears glasses right?” Harry slowly nods. “Is he considered weak for his glasses?”

“Cap- da wouldn’t let anyone call him such,” he says.

“Okay then. I won’t let anyone call you names either. And I doubt Uma would, cause she’s a fierce captain who wouldn’t let anyone call her loyal friends any rude names.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the tests were over, the kids were lead to the nurse’s station at the school, where they all once again sat down and waited for instructions, Mal and Uma stationing themselves by the doors this time. During the assessments Carlos and Gil had been at the doors.

Whatever helped them feel comfortable in a new environment, Aricka thought.

“Okay, so we’re about to begin the physicals and vaccination process of this orientation,” Lonnie said. “We’re going to do the vaccinations first. Vaccinations are important, because they ward off infection by imitating the infection. Many of these vaccines require a second dose later in the year. You guys have been on the Isle for a long time with little to no access to immunizations or healthcare. That is going to be rectified now.”

Be clears his throat. “Aricka, are you willing to demonstrate getting your tetanus vaccine?” The girl nodded and rolled up her sleeve as she sat in front of the school doctor; and Evie recognized the man as Doc, from her mother’s stories.

(For purposes of my canon, Danny Devito is Doc, Peter Dinklage is Grumpy; and Owen Wilson is Dopey. Rest of the dwarves fan cast to follow-!)

Chad offered his hand to his twin, who smiled in relief as she gripped it tightly. “First; I’m going to use this antibacterial spray and wipe to clean your arm and get it ready for the needle,” Doc said. “The medicine is inside the needle, and the needle goes into your arm. It will pinch only for a few seconds, but with a tetanus shot, you might experience minimal pain for a few hours to a couple days. I recommend you stretch your arm every few hours, icing the area and even rubbing the skin where the injection site is, to help spread the medication quicker.” While he was explaining all this, the kids watched as the needle was injected into Aricka’s arm, and Doc pressed the plunger carefully.

Harry watched the girl who’d been so patient with him wince in pain as the medicine kicked in, and Doc put a piece of gauze on her arm before applying a bright colored piece of- something- over the gauze. “Thank you, Miss Charming. I must say you’re much braver than my previous patient.” She blushes and whispers a quiet thank you.

“Who’s next?”

~~~~~~~~

Halfway through the process, there was a brief scene, but Aricka and Chad quickly hurried through to Gil’s side, since the others were all busy watching the physicals or the other kids get their vaccines. “Woah, Gil; what’s wrong sweetheart?” Aricka asks.

“The needle-,” he says; almost a whimper. Chad glances at Aricka, who nods.

“Are you scared? It’s okay if you are. Chad knows I’m scared of needles too and he holds my hand whenever I get shots. We could hold your hands and distract you if you want-?”

Gil looks between them, and Aricka holds his gaze, knowing Chad would as well. “… you won’t laugh at me-?”

“No,” Chad promises. “Everyone is afraid of something. Aricka is afraid of needles, I’m afraid of the dark,” he confessed.

“… you’re afraid of something-? But you guys are heroes?” Gil says, his hand creeping towards Aricka’s outstretched one.

“We’re just kids, Gil.” Chad soothed. “We’re all scared of something.” He gently grips Gil’s shoulder. “Can we help you get through this?”

Gil considers for a moment longer; then takes Aricka’s hand and nods. “Okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later, they would show the new students to their rooms and let them get settled, informing them about the agenda tomorrow: learning to access their allowances and managing their money wisely.

But that is a story for later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@astralshipper

@rosieshipper

@hyperionshipping

@sappy-secrets

@letsgofoletsgo

@yeehawselfshipping

@tsundere-selfship

@callsign-revenge

[ultimatebottom69]

Arcanum

Ok so i did say i would give a long ass rant about this book cause frankly it deserves my time and money.

So...We start by the MC. As someone who only played books like Heaven Secret, Chasing you ans Kali Call of Darkness. I was extremely shocked when this MC had a personality AND was relatable...Despite being the most problematic bitch i ever met.

I didn't force myself to think like her cause all her reactions were EXACTLY like someone with a brain and I was bamboozled.

No matter the path you take she still had her peesonality which to me is a blessing and the stats actually matter .

Imma be spoiling the shit outta that book and imma do my own kind of analysis on the characters and how I felt around them.

Now the driving force of this story the characters :

Of course imma start by My Li aka the best aka Mary :

Mary always ends in the shadiest businesses ever and even when she doesn't well she is an advisor...There is nothing more gay and evil then advisor as a position. Her being little red riding hood. With the twist she tamed the wolves shows that Selena always saw her deep down as a strong independant woman who would always get on her feet despite life being a bitch to her.

She also follows Selena weird obsession with bridges (i swear if you play this book you will understand. Girl is autistic with that passion. She loves Bridges. She fucking do.)

So what I am saying is. Mary choices of careers no matter the season makes sense with what we are shown. The flashbacks make sense, she is shown as someome ressourceful and headstrong who is kind of like Selena in the sense that she can be merciless which is why i went near her as no matter the season she is called one of the most dangerous gal in town. Like it's weird that no matter the season she is treated as dangerous...When there is a guy with a litteral gun.

Rob is a cop.

It is true for the first two seasons (Detective ? Cop. Commander in chief ? That's a cop with a fancier hat) it's the third season that kinda breaks that stereotype. And he ends up being a gambler of sort. Showing what an audience thinks of cops in general, people that steal other people freedom and resell it at a higher price to anyone but also hypocrites. Like overall I didn't hate being near him and he was alright to speak to. I just don't like cops as a principle and I didn't find him hot but he is.

Damon. Damon is your self appointed ex-boyfriend and you will discover the why during the book. Overall he isn't an evil guy at all. But as usual with hot men written by Alice (the author) he has the maturity of a 15 year old. Emotionally. I ain't gonna lie. I wanted him dead. Just because he was mad annoying and the book kept pushing him onto me but that's my opinion, he is not a bad guy. But he is fucking problematic too.

Now onto the anomalies. Aka the bitches we have no idea why they are here.

Josephine. No matter how I look at it. It's weird. What is she foing here ? She appears in no flashbacks but we somehow knows her name ? Alright and she always ends up being a sort of antagonist the story loves to drags on. She feels more like a punching bag because Selena hated how randomely rude she was. I mean for once Selena did nothing and that gal started screaming. So understandable and unfortunately not much to dig into.

Bert...Bert story if you don't do his route is fucking confusing. He is a random guy who is a sort of Jack of Trades who for sone reason is a more talented painter then Liam apparently. He gets manipulated every single time. No matter what. It's weird. He is flirtly with the ladies and he loves freedom but unless you go in the walkthrough you would have NEVER guessed his god damn career. I promise.

Like go ahead guess his career with just what i told you.

Liam. Another anomly. If you don't do his route he always seems to like Selena but is extremely gentle with her but also doesn't coddle her like she is a baby. No matter the world he is a prisonner of a situation. First season. Prisonner due to his blood. Second season. Prisonner because he is a man. Third season. Prisoner because he was super unlucky and Tarot reader liked the Irony.

In every of this seasons it is true that Josephine is a sort of role in his life. First and second she is a sister or a sort of caregiver. Third season ? Well she seems obsessed with him but she also kinda chill. It's weird and it is never explained if you don't do his route. Like we know why he loves paintings and is obsessed by them if you do one of the flashbacks of his during the third season but that's it.We don't know why he is so kind to Selena but a jerk to Bert (in season 1 it made sense but as I said later on it makes no sense) he is always described as delicate and all but suddenly he seems to be a dirty fighter who knows how to fight and is precise and deadly aka what a Painter who is a perfionnist is.

Liam is a strange character, we legit dunno him.

I won't say more I will post about my favorite dynamic about two characters and yeah that's my opinionnon Arcanum. This book DEFINITELY needed to more episodes to really stretch it's climax a tad. The last 2 episodes felt like 5.

Bit overall definitely my favorote book with Heaven's secrets in terms of lovable characters and interesting worldbuilding.

[omnium-gatherums]

A lot happened today ("today"). I'm not sure if I have to put a trigger warning for anything.

So I actually had to reschedule that oral surgery and it was today ("today"), and uhhh.

They couldn't continue with it because while I was asleep under the anesthesia, they told me that apparently my whole body like scrunched up and I was saying (I don't know if I was yelling or what?) "help me help me!" and something about my throat or something restricting my breathing, so I essentially like stopped breathing and they had to wake me up immediately. I don't remember any of that, because I was asleep during all of it, so I wouldn't remember all that, I only remember them waking me and I remember that I had a dream about playing Splatoon (one of my main autistic special interests) next to my partner at our house, and when I woke up I actually forgot that I was at the oral surgeon and not home.

And when I woke up, one of the doctors asked me "Who is Rose?" (I guess I said her name while I was under?) and I had to explain that they are my partner and they are trans and not out to their family yet, so I had to explain not to call them Rose around her mom (in case her mom was going to be with me while they were here) and I'm honestly extremely lucky and privileged to be in one of the much more safer states in the U.S. when it comes to trans rights and whatnot, I'm thankful they were not transphobic and actually completely understood, it seemed.

I ended up crying a bit and talking about how much I love my partner and how she's basically saved my life and stuff and honestly? Ultimate form of love. Do you even really love your partner if you don't wake up from anesthesia and cry about how much you love them? (joking lmfao).

I had no idea I had the bad reaction to the anesthesia until one of the doctors came back and had to explain.

When I first had this appointment, like for the consultation, they asked me if I had any mental health conditions, and I refrained from saying, because obviously people don't really take kindly to saying you have DID - you never know who doesn't believe it exists, who's going to be rude about it, etc.

And I have been under anesthesia before, at this exact same place, so I didn't think that it would like. Be something I would need to mention, since, although I woke up crying the last time I was asleep for oral surgery, (also a child alter ended up fronting later in the car on the way home, but I didn't know it at the time), I didn't have any kind of reaction like this. It was also a time where I was much, much, much more in denial of my DID and unaware of it, and I think I only really had this reaction BECAUSE I am so much more aware now.

But anyways, I did end up telling the doctor that I do have DID and PTSD and if that could be a cause and they said that the kind of reaction I had was EXTREMELY rare, like to a point where they told me that the only other times they had patients with this kind of reaction were other people with PTSD, so they said it made sense and also explained that that was extremely important to mention, like I could have.. Died. But like I said, I.. Didn't know I was going to have that reaction, and I have been under before at this same place and it was fine, so I was like surely I'm not going to have a bad reaction (famous last words).

But anyways yeah they couldn't do the surgery, so they have to call back in a few days and set an appointment for a different hospital so that I could have a breathing tube while I'm under so that this doesn't happen again.

Lots of stuff to talk about with my therapist.

[swrancore]

BEAUTIFUL NIGHT

꩜ how would be their first time

꩜ english isn't my first language

꩜ minors DNI

꩜ sano manjiro, ryuguji ken, baji keisuke, sanzu haruchiyo, kurokawa izana, matsuno chifuyu, haitani rindou, haitani ran

It would definitely be awkward. His first time in a sexual encounter with his girlfriend would basically be him not knowing how to do it. He barely knows how to take off his clothes himself, how could he take them off someone else? Not to mention that he wouldn't know where or how to play, because besides, it's not like Mikey knows much about the female body. He doesn't even really know his own body and how he likes to be touched (it's the basics, Mikey will actually masturbate once a month at most, if he's in the mood that would be two).

Another thing about Manjiro is that he doesn't talk much during sex, so there isn't much communication, and if it's his first time forget that it's going to be the most memorable. Picking up the pace and starting an active sex life would be something else, but their first meeting would be nothing more than awkward.

Mikey also doesn't have a very high sexual desire, if he's in the mood he'd be up for one or two rounds at the most, and then he'd fall asleep because the physical exertion would consume what little energy he had left just to consummate the act. As if he had just enough energy to last as long as he has to last and fall asleep a couple of minutes after finishing. Although he will always worry that both of you are finished; in case he gets tired before you even reach orgasm, he will let you ride him and use him as you like, he would just hold your hips and be panting because, although he won't admit it, he likes that vision you offer him when you are on top of him taking control.

It would be romantic. It's like Draken has the ability to know how and where, even though he's never done it before. His touch would be gentle and he would take the time to explore you with his fingers and his mouth. He would fill your body with kisses and his mouth would release one or another compliment, he would want to make you feel loved at all times.

His first time might not be the most intense of all, but it would definitely be unforgettable. He would be in charge of preparing everything in advance, perhaps because you two had planned in advance to take the next step and both had talked about it. It would not be something like expressly agreeing on that date at that moment to consummate the act, but when discussing the subject you considered that, if the occasion and the moment arose, no one would refuse to let what had to happen pass, and every time you agreed to an appointment, in a certain way, both of you were moderately prepared in case the time came, although without pressing or forcing anything, you only took it into account and in consideration.

When the time was right, things would calmly emerge and flow naturally. Draken is quite a mature person, so he wouldn't have any kind of offhand comments or awkward moves at all. He would be nervous, of course, because he wants to do well and for your first time together to be a really special and intimate moment for both of you, but still, he wouldn't show it too much. You may notice a slight tremor in his hands when he touches you or undresses you.

He doesn't speak many words either, he will only say flattery, the odd rudeness with a hoarse voice and panting close to your ear. He hardly moans, only if the pleasure is too much or if he is overstimulated.

Intense. Keisuke gives the best passionate kisses, with bites and a butt grab. In your first time together, he would try to be subtle and even delicate, but his aggressive nature comes out when he is desperate to consume the act.

He is not violent, nor a savage, but he would act mildly desperate and needy. He would take your hand to take it to his crotch and that you could feel how eager he is for you, but always respecting your limits. If you want to slow down he will really try, or at least at first, to keep things flowing more smoothly, however as the minutes go by and his body starts to feel desperate again he will grab your hips and move with some force strength.

Baji is somewhat noisy, mostly grunting and panting, especially when mounted. He loves to take your breasts in his hands or just watch them bounce when your skin collides with his in a constant up and down. Do not doubt that he will fill you with compliments as well, he will greatly appreciate the beauty of your nudity and he will be honored to be the one who sees you that way.

The romantic or subtle is not in his vocabulary. Probably his first sexual encounter would be in the bathrooms of a club, while under the influence of a drug. Sanzu wouldn't be subtle at all, aside from being slightly more concerned with his own pleasure than yours. Whether you arrive or not, He wouldn't give it much importance as long as he does finish.

Exciting Sanzu is not an easy task either, since he is not entirely interested in consuming a sexual act, much less without having a real bond with that person. The opposite would be to have a serious relationship with someone who has accompanied you from the beginning and has stayed by your side; Only then do he have a little more consideration when it comes to intimacy for the first time, although don't expect anything cheesy or romantic, he really doesn't know about it and wouldn't feel comfortable doing it either.

He would rarely do it in a bed. He is a lover of risks, especially when he has no mental clarity and gets carried away by the effect of the pills. He also doesn't like very noisy people, it would stress or annoy him and he would end up not wanting to do it.

It's intense and he would surely resort to sex being jealous. The first time of both would be merely to emphasize that you belong to him and therefore, it would not be so subtle when doing it. He would go slow but sharp, wanting to fill your mind with just him, pushing himself hard inside you. He would be eager to claim your body and soul as his and mark your body in really visible areas. You only belong to him.

Use sex as a release method. If he's jealous, he'll let you know because he'll kiss you roughly and immediately try to stick his tongue in the middle of the kiss. You will know that he wants to reach something more, although he would make you beg for it. It would excite him to see you beg for him, since it is his way of feeling that you are literally at his feet, begging for his touch and for him to fill your cunt. He will mark you, humiliate you and probably go a little too far with the aggressiveness of his actions or words.

He'd probably go to emotional blackmail if need be, just to share an intimate moment when you're not quite up for it. If he wants to convince you, he would act the cutest, being even somewhat affectionate and soft, but it is only the trap so that you agree to go to bed with him.

Another romantic. He would be too nervous and possibly uncomfortable by the time he started taking action. Several times there were mids left before he was able to pull it off and have the real action. It would be difficult for him to look you in the eye the first few times, he would feel very ashamed of his own face and would avoid looking at you, closing his eyes. It would also be very difficult for him to adopt new positions, with him it would be vanilla sex for at least the first two months of having started your sexual life.

Little by little he would dare to adopt new postures such as raising your legs to his shoulders, doing it while hugging each other with a spoon, lifting your leg while on your side and the last one he would dare to try would be the doggy style.

Chifuyu is somewhat noisy, so you should shut him up with kisses or by covering his mouth with your hand. This would make him feel ashamed, and the first few times he would have started to shut up by biting his own lip, thinking that you didn't like listening to him. Once you told him «don't shut up» he would understand that you really liked him and if you covered him up it was simply because you want him to be louder against your lips or your hand.

There are few times that you do sexting or sexcall, but the times that you both do, you ask for some other audio of him moaning to keep it as a memory and a treasure. You love the sound of his voice when he moans and when he cuts himself off from the pleasure he feels.

Predictably, you would both know how the night would end. He would take you out to dinner on a special day like your birthday or his 100 days of dating (it would be at your request, since it's too cheesy for him to have taken the initiative). You would notice Rindou being more attentive than usual, and even when you kiss him, he would do so intensely and passionately inside his vehicle.

It would not be completely awkward, Rindou is quite serious in the moment, more than anything because he will seem to make you think that he knows what he is doing, even if deep down he is nervous because he does not want to make a mistake or do something you don't like. He knows how he likes to be touched and is likely to guide your hands as he pleases for the first few minutes to give you the lead and start playing yourself once you get the hang of it.

Rindou is quite good with memory. He will know how to read your reactions and will understand if you like what he does or not just by looking at you and feeling your body writhing under him. Although there will also be times where he will ask you directly just to be sure or because he just wants to hear you praise him for the good job he does with his hands or his mouth.

Rindou gives the best oral sex.

Passionate, intense, memorable. Ran knows how to touch you, more than anything because there have been touches before and he have come to touch beyond the subtle. He's got his hand under your panties a couple of times and more than once he's sunk into you with just his fingers, he wanted to be ready for when the time came to put all the pieces together in a unique dance, so he would have let you play it too. He will ask you directly if you like it, if you enjoy it or what you want. He won't lift a single finger until he hears it directly from your lips, desperate for his touch.

He's arrogant, he'll enjoy the previous games just because he likes to see you beg for him. The older Haitani knows the full effect his body has on you and would take advantage of it to bring you to your knees before him (not just metaphorically, you literally have to kneel). He will make you beg meanwhile he use your body to his satisfaction, but he will also make you reach more than one orgasm. Ran wouldn't just use you to be the only one having fun, in fact, he'd find it boring to be the only one having fun in the act. If things happen, he would also kneel in front of you, willing to obey your orders and learn more about your body.

He would be very attentive to what you like or what makes you crazy, he will play with you and let you experiment with him, he is very open-minded. There will be things that don't attract much of his attention, but he could try them as long as it don't exceed his limits. He will want to keep you satisfied and be able to create an intense and entertaining sexual environment for both of you.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Let's get Steven some therapy! After Miki's death someone tells the Therapist!reader, that Steven's not doing so well, so they ask him to come by and talk to them. After talking with him for a while the reader pairs him with a traumatized Wigglytuff (DISABLED) and the two end up helping each other get over their respective traumas.

Hell yeah therapy time

........

"Hello, Steven. I'm Dr. [L/n], Kanto's therapist for people and Pokémon alike." You greeted as you walked into the room. Sitting down in the chair near the couch where your new patient was, you looked at him with a polite smile. “But I’m not crazy about formalities, so you can just call me [y/n].”

Steven didn't answer. 

All he did was just...stare down at the floor; with his hat and long hair obscuring his face, you weren't sure what expression he held, but his posture told you enough.

You didn’t take it as rude at all. You’ve had other patients behave similarly during their first sessions.

"I appreciate you responding to my letter and coming in today. I know it must’ve been hard, but..they say that wanting help is a good first step towards progress. For a lot of people, it’s tough to overcome that." You tried to start with optimism, though nothing about his demeanor changed--as expected.

For the next few minutes or so, he remained silent. You just jotted down some notes and questions to ask him, debating on whether you’ll use this first meeting as a way to get to know him (not that you didn’t already) or if he wanted to get into the topic of why he was here.

That being...the sudden death of his Charizard and lifelong companion after a freak accident with a faulty trading machine. It happened a few weeks ago, but obviously he was struggling to cope with the fact that she--his precious Miki--was gone forever

A Pokémon passing away from age or natural causes was one thing, but this was something completely unheard of until now. Nobody even thought it was even possible for one to die mid-trade. 

But since then, trading in Kanto has been banned for the time being until every machine in the region had a thorough inspection done.

You knew Steven could not have been doing well, especially knowing he was the champion who endured the toughest of battles with Miki by his side.

Who would’ve thought something regarded as totally safe would be her sudden end?

Yesterday, a concerned member of the Elite Four informed you of his sudden change in habits. He apparently surrendered all of his badges, money, and Pokémon to whomever was willing to take them--essentially throwing away everything he worked for.

Usually people who gave away their prized possessions were either leaving Kanto to start a new life....or had some kind of “plan” for themselves.

That was incredibly concerning, so you sent him a PM on his computer, hoping he’ll see it. You also had your messenger Pidgeot deliver a letter just in case, telling him to come see you for a session free of charge.

Steven himself didn’t like the idea of therapy too much, but given how concerned everybody was for his mental state, he decided it was worth a try and responded to your message, scheduling an appointment.

Though now that he finally showed up, he found himself sitting in silence..and shame. It felt pointless to come here when he had so much on his mind and wondered if you could truly help him.

Not to mention how pathetic it was for him, the most famous person in all of Kanto, to hit rock bottom with nowhere else to turn except here.

You could be helping a Cubone cope with the loss of its parent instead. He was just a lost cause.

As you were about to ask Steven some basic introductory questions, you heard a very quiet murmur and perked up, wondering what he said. “What’s up, Steven?”

“..I-I’m sorry, doc..”

“Sorry? For what?”

“I just..I-I can’t do this. Not today.” He abruptly stood up, pushing the bill of his hat over his eyes as he headed towards the door. “I’ll be okay. Really. I’m just wasting your time-”

“Steven, you’re not wasting my time at all...and I know you’re far from okay.” You frowned slightly, though you noticed he was hesitating to leave right away. “I can’t stop you from walking out, but I truly do wanna help you through this. I know in your heart that you want to be here, don’t you?”

With his hand resting on the doorknob, he glanced back at you. Now that you could properly see his face, you also saw his red eyes--exhausted, puffy, and teary. 

"...I just..I haven’t talked to anyone in weeks. It’s so hard...knowing they all once saw you as this great champion, only to let them down...and make them pity you.” He spat the word out.

“Champion or not, that doesn’t factor into how I treat people. You’re okay here.” You reassured him softly, praying that he’ll stay. “This is a safe space, you don’t have to hide anything. If you only wanna have one session, that’s fine. Whatever you’re comfortable with. But please..at least give this a chance.”

After having a long internal battle with himself, he decided to return to the couch, removing his hat. He sighed shakily and buried his hands in his hair, taking a few moments to think of what he wanted to say.

“There’s no rush.” You reminded. “Just take your time, okay?”

“I..feel so pathetic. Can’t even get through a damn sentence without.....” He choked back tears as he stopped, before laughing sorrowfully. “Fuck, I’m sorry [y/n]. I just..miss her a lot, y’know? Just thinking about her hurts.”

Your heart ached for him, knowing he's kept so much of this pain and suffering inside..and for him to break down during the first session showed he needed a release badly.

"I know she misses you, too. And she’ll always love you, Steven..that’s a fact. Nothing could sever the bond you two share.”

Sniffling, Steven managed to calm down a little bit, laying back on the couch to get more comfortable. He heard your pen scribbling against a paper--but he was grateful to know you weren’t some emotionless therapist who did nothing but that the entire time.

You cared. Truly, you cared for him.

“W-We..did have a lot of good times.” He spoke after a minute or two, already looking a bit more relaxed than he did before. “It feels like only yesterday when she was...a feisty little Charmander.”

‘Hm, that seems like a good place to start. Talking about the incident might be too heavy for a first session.’  You thought, jotting down a quick notation before responding to him.

“If I may ask, what made you choose her over a Bulbasaur and Squirtle?”

“Well......”

........

A month or so had passed since Steven became a regular client at your office, coming in to talk about the incident or update you on the coping mechanisms you've suggested for him. He wasn't taking all of your advice, but some was better than none.

Obviously, he still held a lot of resentment towards Mike--though he was more overwhelmed by his own guilt, believing he should've been more stubborn when his brother begged him to lend Miki over temporarily. 

He confessed to having intrusive thoughts about strangling him, but insists he refused to act on them.

Of course it’s easier to blame a person than a faulty machine, but with time he learned to let go of some of the anger, coming to understand that Mike didn’t tamper with it in any way.

It was simply a tragic accident that never should have happened. Through no fault but a technical error. Not even a psychic Pokémon could’ve predicted that going wrong.

Ever since making that leap--and talking more about the good times with Miki--Steven had made good progress. You were able to tell it affected the people around him while going into town on your day off; you overheard some folks say how he looked better, and how he was even talking to his friends, Daisy, and Mike again. 

It made you smile, knowing you’re helping him come out of such a dark place little by little.

During sessions, he no longer stayed silent for long periods or have as many breakdowns, though of course he was still extremely depressed over the situation. It’s not something that would magically go away.

He didn’t want any of his badges back despite being offered them, and he never attempted to care for another Pokémon or even catch one. Considering his guilt in letting go of his last team, he didn’t think he deserved any.

Since that was weighing heavily on him, you had a plan.

It’s a strategy that you’ve been using for years to help people cope with the loss of their Pokémon, and Pokémon who lost their trainers through death or abandonment--by bringing them together in a way that helps them heal in each other’s presence. 

In the last session you explained this method and its high success rate to Steven, but he immediately got defensive, assuming you were trying to get him to replace Miki. 

That was far from the truth, you reassured him. It took a lot of convincing, but he eventually agreed to it under the condition that the Pokémon wasn’t anything along Charmander’s evolution line.

You had a particularly unique one for him, believing that they’ll be a good match for each other once he hears her story.

Hopefully, he wouldn’t be intimidated by her appearance like past trainers were.

.........

"Steven, this is DISABLED, a level 26 Wigglytuff. But I usually call her “Dee”."

"....huh?" Steven was confused by the odd name, looking at the Wigglytuff you brought into the room. 

Immediately he was taken aback by the haunted expression on her face. Not to mention her dark fur, red eyes, and wounds on her back and ear....plus her mouth seemed heavily scarred as well.

It looks like she went through hell and back.

You noticed his alarmed look and gently pet DISABLED’s head. "Don’t worry, she’s completely harmless. She’s been my patient for about a year.”

His eyes remained wide, although he relaxed his shoulders. “Oh, so um..what’s her story?”

“I just wanted to SING...”

The raspy ethereal voice she emitted slightly startled him. ‘This one can speak..? That’s rare..’

“She lost the vocal cords Jigglypuffs and Wigglytuffs use for their SING ability.” You explained. “We don’t know how or why since we’re still trying to track down her original owner. But she was reported scaring the local Ponyta population away from their usual habitats. And then she just...showed up here one day, looking for help.”

DISABLED glanced up at you, pointing to Steven. “Can I have his SING?”

“No. Remember what we talked about, Dee?”

“...people don’t have SING.”

“Correct. Good job.” Smiling, you knelt down and fed her a berry, which immediately made her chirp in happiness. Then she hobbled over to the couch, taking a seat on the opposite end of the man. He was surprised that you were able to turn her mood around just like that.

If only it were that easy--if only food could solve all of his problems.

You stood up and returned to your chair. “She used to be hostile to trainers, but she’s been making good progress. As for her move set, she can only do Struggle. For some reason, she can’t use any others even if she wants to. It might have something to do with her past trauma, so I’ve been trying to show her how she can be helpful in other ways.”

“[Y/n] helped me feel better, but...I still miss my SING.” She pouted.

“I know how you feel,” Steven remarked, looking at her in sadness. No longer did he fear this strange Wigglytuff, but instead came to realize that they may have more in common than he thought. “I lost something important to me, too..”

“And that’s why I brought you two together.” You nodded. “I believe Dee needs someone like you, a good and loving trainer, to give her confidence in using her abilities again...and you’ll gain a friend who’ll look after you. She agreed to this, though you have the final say, Steven.”

He was quiet for a bit, before looking back at you. “You trust me? Because..you know I gave up on my own Pokémon-”

“You weren’t in the best state of mind to care for them, and I’m sure they understood that.” You pointed out. “But if this doesn’t work out, it’s okay. We’ll just try something else.”

After a few moments longer, he decided to try out your method and work with DISABLED. Maybe she could be the one to help him through his pain, too.

“Alright.” He turned to her with a small smile, slowly putting his hand out. She seemed surprised, though the look on his face put her at ease, knowing he wasn’t scared. “I’ll be your trainer, Dee. Just..don’t steal my “SING” ‘cuz I don’t have that. Okay?”

Nodding silently, she reached out to shake his hand, managing to smile back. She was happy to find someone after being with you for so long, hoping for a better trainer.

Seeing that they were both ready for this, you also smiled and jotted down some notes in your book:

You’re eager to see how things will go for them.

[itsdanii]

I really love your “rejecting and regretting” drabbles and I would love to request one with Suna and Iwaizumi please

Rejecting you and regretting it pt. 3

hey, bub. thanks for requesting! im so glad you're liking my works ♥️ was supposed to post this yesterday but i had an appointment with my psychologist so sorry for the slight delay. that being said, here's your request for iwaizumi and suna. i hope you like it♥️

genre: slight angst to fluff, slight crack

warnings: cursing, rude behavior (resolved), please do message me if i forgot any

ft. suna rintaro, oikawa!reader x iwaizumi hajime

title says it all.

Suna Rintaro

out of all the inarizaki boys, suna rintaro was the one who managed to pique your interest

at first, you thought that he was the most quiet amongst the group but the longer you stayed as a manager, the more you realized how wrong you were

In fact, suna is one of the most talkative, along with the miya twins

you even felt bad sometimes for kita for having to discipline the three as if they were his own kids

one day, you suddenly realized that you were falling for the middle blocker

you knew that it was not a good practice to fall for someone in a team you manage but it's not like you can control who you fall for, right?

and so, you made a decision to confess to him

"Oi, y/n! What's that yer holding?"

You squeaked upon being called by Atsumu and quickly hid the cake you were holding behind your back. Smiling awkwardly, you made your way to him and placed the cake on top of the table.

It was currently lunch time and as a usual routine, you, Osamu, Atsumu and Rin were meeting at your spot just near the gym to eat.

"Can you atleast lower your voice? The moment the others see this cake, it'll be gone in a snap of a finger," you scolded at him.

"Cake? What's it for?" As if a light suddenly appeared on top of Atsumu's head, he took the box and opened it with sparkling eyes. "Looks good!"

"No, wait!"

Your lips parted as you watched him take the fork that you put inside and sliced a piece for himself. He even let out a small moan of satisfaction as the taste of the cake filled his mouth.

"That...was for Rin," you said with a tiny voice, making Atsumu raise an eyebrow at you.

"Suna? Why are ya givin' him a cake?" Noticing the way you failed to answer, a grin started forming on Atsumu's lips as the realization came into him. "Holy shit, ya like him!"

"Like who?"

You and Atsumu both froze at the sound of Suna's voice. Swallowing the lump forming in your throat, you slowly turned around to face Suna who was now frowning at you.

"Rin-chan..." you said slowly.

Suna and Osamu both took their seats, Osamu sitting beside Atsumu and Suna sitting beside you.

"Y/n likes someone?" Osamu asked and took the fork to taste the cake you made, his face lightening up as it somehow reached his standards.

Being the goofy one, Atsumu nodded with a grin. He spared Suna a quick glance before wiggling his eyebrows at you playfully. "Mhm. The one they like is actually a part of the volleyball team. Any guess, Rin-chan?"

Despite the nervousness you're feeling, you managed to roll your eyes at Atsumu as he tried imitating the way you call Suna.

Suna just shrugged his shoulders, looking almost unbothered if not for the fact that he was gripping his chopsticks a little too tightly. "Don't know, don't care."

You felt your confidence drop a little at his lack of enthusiasm. "Aren't you even just a bit curious?" you asked, hoping to get a reaction out of him.

"No, why would I be? It's not like it's any of my business. You can like whoever you want to like. It's not like I give a damn about it," Suna simply answered.

The small hope inside you that you gathered throughout the whole week just to confess completely vanished, replaced with doubt and sudden insecurity. The way he said those words seemed as if he doesn't care about you at all and the fact that he said it in front of the twins made it even worse. You felt humiliated.

You glanced at Atsumu for help and the setter just sighed before sliding the box of the now half eaten cake to Suna. "Didn't have to be so rude 'bout it, Rin. Taste the cake. Maybe it'll change yer mind and make ya realize how dense ya are."

Suna just glared at him and took a bite, his eyes darting towards your figure. "Were you supposed to give this cake to the person you like?"

Seeing you nod, Suna rolled his eyes. "I don't think it's a good idea. It tastes like shit, I'm sure the guy would reject you the moment he takes a bite."

Your heart dropped at what he said. Not only did he say that your cooking was bad but also rejected you without saying it directly. The moment you felt your eyes tearing up, you immediately stood up and left the table, ignoring the continues yells of a certain miya.

Suna stared at your back before frowning at Atsumu. "What's up their ass? I just said it didn't taste good is all. They didn't have to be sensitive." Contrary to his words, Suna grabbed the fork and continued eating the cake.

"They made the cake for ya, dumbass," Atsumu answered and stood up, quickly grabbing his things before leaving to follow you.

Suna froze upon realizing what Atsumu meant. Eyes darting towards Osamu, he muttered a small curse before gripping his hair in frustration. "Samu..."

Not even waiting for what Suna wanted to say, Osamu shook his head no with a displeased look. "Ya fucked up big time. Sorry but I can't help ya with this one."

-

Suna was on his own.

No matter how much he tried convincing the twins to help him, neither of them agreed. He didn't know how to approach you after what happened. You basically ignored him even during practices, only doing your duties and talking to him when instructed by Kita.

Several days went on yet you were still ignoring him, and to say that Suna was getting fed up was an understatement. Not only were you ignoring him but you were also spending too much time with Atsumu.

Sure, he was aware that you two are bestfriends, but that doesn't mean that it wouldn't turn into something more. After all, Atsumu was a likeable guy. It wouldn't be impossible for you to fall in love with someone like him.

And so, the moment Suna saw Atsumu almost kissing your cheek, he snapped.

With fast strides, he went over to your direction and pulled you away from your bestfriend who only shrugged his shoulders and went on his way as if nothing happened.

Suna stopped when you reached an empty classroom and he immediately shut the door behind him for privacy. "I'm sorry for being rude to you last time," he started.

"You weren't only rude to me, ya know?" you said and averted your gaze from him. "You also rejected me. I know that I haven't directly confessed to you yet but it still hurt. I just assumed that maybe I had a chance since we were close with each other. I'm sorry for-"

"Please, don't," Suna said to cut you off. He stepped closer to you and placed his hands on your shoulders, regret visible on his face. "Don't apologize for liking me."

"But Rin..."

"I don't want you to take it back. I like you too, y/n. So please..." Suna dropped his arms to his sides and rested his forehead on your shoulder before muttering, "Please don't ignore me anymore. I promise I'll love you the way you deserve."

You felt yourself soften at his words and despite how much what he said last time hurt you, you knew that deep inside, your heart belongs to him. You brought your hand up to run your fingertips over Suna's hair before nodding. "I won't ignore you anymore, Rin. You know why?"

He lifted his head up to look at you hopefully. "Because you like me?"

"You guessed right."

The moment you said those words, Suna immediately placed his hand on your jaw, angling your head up to him. "And I like you too."

Not able to hold himself back anymore, Suna leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, your eyes closing as you savored the feeling of finally kissing the man you like.

Iwaizumi Hajime

Iwaizumi is your brother's bestfriend

The first time you saw him was when you were in first grade, him and Tooru being a year older than you

Despite the small age gap, you still grew close with him as most of your time, you spent with Haji watching random movies and playing volleyball

When you entered high school, you only became closer to them

He protected you from bullies and those people who only wanted to use you in order to get closer to your brother

At first, you didn't notice that you were falling for him, thinking that you were just attached to him after being by his side for such a long time

But when you realized that your gazes lingered on him longer, your mind started wondering the feeling of his hand holding yours, and the way your heart fluttered everytime he was close, you knew that you've fallen for him deep

It was a Friday night, both you and Tooru were dressed in your pajamas as you waited in your room for Iwaizumi to finish making the popcorn.

Today, you all scheduled a movie night since this was the only time the three of you are free. Being a third year and a volleyball player at the same time was hard on both your brother and Iwaizumi's time and often times, you had to cancel due to them having an early practice.

Luckily for you, it seemed that their coach finally had mercy and decided to give them a weekend break.

You, on the other hand, had lots of free time in your hand since your workload isn't as heavy as theirs which is why you were always the one who adjusted when it comes to the schedule of your movie marathon night.

"Iwa-chan, gimme the one with more popcorn!" Tooru immediately said as soon as Iwaizumi stepped inside your room, balancing two bowls of popcorn in his hold.

You rolled your eyes at your brother and stood up to help Iwaizumi, purposely showing your brother how you took the one with more popcorn in it. "Sucker," you said, sticking your tongue out at him.

Iwaizumi sighed at your attitude and plopped down beside you which made your heart flutter as always.

When the movie started, you noticed how much the two were so focused on the screen. You felt a little guilty since you were basically the one who suggested the movie yet you were the one who isn't paying attention.

How can you even focus if your crush is literally sitting beside you on your bed?

You could even smell him by how close he is beside you. You were, after all, crushed in between him and your brother, a blanket covering the three of you as you squished yourselves in your bed.

As the movie went on, you felt your eyelids getting heavier. You let out a small yawn and rubbed your eyes, the sound of the people talking on the screen making you feel drowsy instead of stopping you from sleeping.

Iwaizumi, who had noticed the way your head was swaying from side to side, gently took the half empty bowl of popcorn from your hold and wiped your fingers with a baby wipe. He then carefully guided your head to rest on his shoulder before refocusing his attention on the movie.

When you woke up, the room was silent. The television was already turned off and the lamp was already turned on. You looked beside you and noticed that the spaces beside your bed were already empty, reminding you that you must've fallen asleep and Iwaizumi and Tooru must've transfered to their rooms already.

Feeling your throat demanding for some water, you slid off your bed and made your way towards the kitchen. As you grabbed the glass, you almost dropped it upon seeing a reflection of a man behind you.

"You scared me," you whispered into the quietness as you came face to face with your brother's bestfriend.

He chuckled and ruffled your hair before grabbing himself his own glass, eyes staring at you as he downed the water within seconds. "Sorry. I didn't expect you to wake up since you always sleep like a log," he said with a grin.

You lightly smacked his chest, your cheeks heating up as you felt his hard muscles, no doubt the results of playing his sport.

A small growl coming from your stomach suddenly disturbed the silence, Iwaizumi's laugh immediately booming throughout the kitchen as you blushed in embarrassment. "Shut up. I only ate popcorn, you know?"

Shaking his head with a small smile, Iwaizumi pointed at the stool before saying, "Go sit. I'll whip you up something to eat."

You immediately obliged and couldn't stop yourself from smiling as you admired his back while he cooked. "Neh, Haji," you called out.

"Hm?" he hummed, throwing a quick glance at you.

"Do you like someone?"

You knew that asking such question was bold of you, especially when neither of you totally expected it. You didn't even know how the words managed to get out of your lips. All you knew was that if there was a perfect time to confess, it would be now.

After all, with your brother enjoying his time in dream land, nobody would disturb the both of you. It was serene, and you hoped that the outcome would be just as serene as the moment.

"Where's this coming from? Is this your way of trying to confess to me?" Iwaizumi said with a chuckle.

"And what if it is? What are you going to do?" You bit your lower lip anxiously as you waited for his reply.

But instead of embracing you and confessing his feelings too just like you expected, you were greeted with the seriousness of Iwaizumi when he spun around. He walked over to you and and placed the freshly cooked Omirice infront of you.

"Then I'd have to reject you," he answered simply, his voice sounding as if the topic wasn't up for any discussion.

"Why? Is it because I'm Tooru's sibling?" You frowned at him and crossed your arms over your chest. "You know that wouldn't change anything if you date me, right? You'd still be Tooru's bestfriend."

"I already said I'd reject you. That's it, end of discussion." With that, he turned his back on you and made his way out of the kitchen.

But before he can even completely walk out on you, you grabbed his wrist to stop him. "But I like you, Haji. I always have.." You voice seemed tiny all of a sudden and your grip on his wrist tightened instinctively when you felt him removing your grip easily with his free hand.

"I'm sorry but I don't like you, y/n. Now, let go and stop with your delusions because no matter what you do, I'll never like you."

You felt your heart shatter at those words, tears quickly streaming down your cheeks as you watched him walk away, leaving you all alone in the now empty kitchen.

Guess you don't always get what you want, huh?

The rest of the weekend, you did your best avoiding Iwaizumi to make sure that you don't make him uncomfortable. You made sure to stay cooped up in your room until you were certain that Iwaizumi had already left. Heck, you even rejected your brother's offer when he asked if you wanted to go meet up with rest of the boys at the mall.

You knew that Tooru wasn't unaware that something happened since you've never rejected any offer when it comes to shopping. But even if he did, he sure stayed quiet about it and gave you space which you were thankful for.

A week rolled by and Iwaizumi was starting to get antsy. His spikes were not as good and his movements were too sloppy to the point that their coach had to sub him out during one of their practice games.

As he sat on the bench, his mind went back to the time he rejected you. Back then, he was sure that he did the right decision. He was a third year and you were only in your second year. Not only would it seem that he was after some kid, he would also look like an asshole who only befriended Oikawa for his sibling.

But that was before.

Now, he wasn't so sure anymore. He missed your affection towards him and the way you cared for him. He missed how you often visit their practice and give him first his water bottle instead of Tooru. He missed your playful banter and the way you irritate him by simply joining forces with your brother.

Fuck, he missed you.

And the way he only realized it now made it even worse.

Iwaizumi ran his fingers through his hair out of frustration, and when he saw someone handling him a water bottle, he instantly lifted his head up expecting to see you. Except it wasn't you, it was Tooru.

He mumbled a small "Thanks," before sighing evidently, making Tooru raise a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Just what happend between you and y/n?"

Seeing the panic on Iwaizumi's expression, Tooru just rolled his eyes. "Don't even try denying it, Iwa-chan. I'm not that stupid, you know? Y/n's basically isolating themselves inside their room as if they're scared that you might visit anytime and you.. your play sucks that even Makki and Matsun noticed it."

"Didn't have to remind me," Iwaizumi grunted.

"Hmm," Tooru pressed a finger to his chin as if he was thinking, eyes slightly widening as he remembered something. "Is it because they finally confessed to you?"

"How did you-"

"Oh it's simple! I heard my dearest sibling practicing their confession several times before you came last Saturday. I didn't expect them to confess that early though. The confession sounded too plain for my liking," Tooru said with a hum.

Iwaizumi could only look at him with parted lips. How come Tooru seemed unbothered by the thought of you confessing? Wasn't he supposed to act like a protective brother?

Noticing the way Iwaizumi was staring at him, Tooru pouted. "What're you looking at, Iwa-chan? You're not thinking of dating me instead, are you?"

"Dumbass. I'm thinking why you seem too relaxed at the idea of your sibling confessing to me," Iwaizumi said, hitting the back of Tooru's head.

"Eh? Why? Did you expect me to go apeshit on you?" Tooru chuckled. "Don't worry Iwa-chan, I completely approve of you dating them! Just don't try to hurt their feelings or I'll be mad for sure!"

"But I already rejected them." Iwaizumi groaned and rested his head against his palm out of frustration.

Tooru, who seemed to gain sympathy at his partner, patted his back and said, "Then we'll just have to do something about it, don't we?"

-

When you arrived home, the house was eerily quite. The lights were all off making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. You knew how much Tooru hated coming home with the lights off so you always made sure to leave it on in case you arrive later than him.

"Tooru?" you called out as you switched the lights on. You surveyed the whole living room and kitchen but your brother was nowhere to be found.

Shrugging your shoulders, you went up to your room and almost screamed at the sight of a man sitting on top of your bed, a bouquet of flowers in hand along with a bunny stuffed toy.

"Why do you always have to scare the shit out of me? I swear one of these days, I'll die of heart attack because of you," you scolded as you closed the door behind you. You discarded your bag on the couch and stood in front of Iwaizumi with your arms crossed over your chest. "What's all this about?"

Scratching the back of his head, Iwaizumi spared a quick glance at your wardrobe before sighing. "They're um... They're for you." He handed you the flowers and the bunny, eyes watching you warily as you smelled the pink roses.

You weren't unaware of what was happening. You always witness these kinds of things but since you were still hurt about what he said, you decided that you wouldn't give in to him that easily.

"Thank you," you answered dryly before placing the roses on top of your study desk.

Iwaizumi cannot help but panic because of this. Have you already decided that you no longer like him? What if you already got yourself a boyfriend? His thoughts started running wild inside his head and it was only when you touched his shoulder that he was brought back to the reality.

"Sorry...I," Iwaizumi fisted his hands on his sides before continuing. "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, y/n. I didn't want to reject you. I actually like you but I got scared. I mean, you're Oikawa Y/n, my bestfriend's sibling. I didn't want you to think that I was only friends with your brother because I like you. In the end, I hurt you and god knows how stupid I am for doing such thing."

By this time, Iwaizumi's eyes were closed, afraid of looking at your reaction. He was even biting his lips and if not for the seriousness of the moment, you would've took a picture of his adorableness.

"I guess an apologizing Haji, is a cute Haji," you said with a smile making his eyes open.

"Shut up," he said shyly with the tips of his ears turning red. "I'm being serious, you know?"

"And I'm being serious as well. I'm not kidding when I said you're being cute right now," you said, continuing to tease him.

"Y/n."

You giggled at the warning in his tone. "Alright, alright. 'm sorry." You took his hand in yours and gave it a small squeeze before lifting your gaze up to him, all signs of goofiness now vanishing from your face and replaced with honesty and admiration. "I like you too, Haji. I still do."

"Shit." Iwaizumi smiled and wrapped his arms around your waist, his strong arms lifting you off the ground out of happiness.

You squealed as you were lifted and you encircled your arms around his neck to cling to him.

"Gosh, Iwa-chan! My sister said she likes you too and the first thing you say is shit?!" Tooru said as he revealed his presence, his hand rubbing his back at the ache for staying too long in the cramped closet.

You gave Iwaizumi a few taps on his back which he immediately understood. He placed you down and grinned as he watched you taking your brother out of your room by pulling at his ear.

"Ouch, y/n-chan! Iwa-chan, help me!"

Iwaizumi just chuckled as the door infront of him slammed shut, the shouts of Tooru as you hit him bringing a sense of satisfaction to Iwaizumi.

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ♥️

[joekeeryswife]

Teen pregnancy 2 -H.G

here is part 2 loves

you were nearing your due date and to say you were nervous was an understatement. you were petrified. obviously everyone in school now knew that you were pregnant and they would sometimes say rude things in the corridors, if you were in school, but you couldn't help but sometimes allow them to get into your head.

Harry had been an absolute diamond throughout your whole pregnancy journey. he would never ever allow anything to happen to you and he was all around the perfect person you'd want a baby with. he got a job, he helped you with anything you needed even if he really didn't want to, and he never missed a single baby appointment.

you had heard from a few people that Harry, the most popular boy on the rugby team, wouldn't care about you during or even after pregnancy and he had proved them all wrong and you were so proud of him.

you were sat at home on the sofa, scrolling through the enormous bundle of pictures and videos you had taken throughout your journey and you felt warm inside. it started with the first ultrasound photo, then came the gender reveal video which was so beautiful, then came the many videos of Harry either talking to your bump or kissing it or just videos of the baby kicking.

the thought of you having your own baby was amazing. you had dreamt of having a baby since you were little and your dream had finally come true. Harry was on his was going your house and you had to make sure he was okay. you messaged him and he instantly replied.

he replied saying he was 'okay 👌🏼' which put your mind at ease. during the 6th month of pregnancy, you started overthinking basically every situation. whether it would be crossing a road and what might happen or even eating food.

Harry arrived about 4 minutes later, unlocking the door with the spare key you had given him and he entered the living room. 'hey love, you doing ok?' he said with a soft smile. he sat down next to you and gave you a quick kiss before laying his head at the top of your stomach. he rubbed your belly and kissed it.

'you know, i've been alright but my back is killing me at the minute. i don't know what's happening but it does hurt a lot.' you replied whilst rubbing your hands through his thick hair. 'i think maybe it's just getting closer to the time. everything's set up so now we are just waiting for the little one to get here and it'll all be perfect.' he said, still stroking your belly softly.

you guys sat in silence for a bit, you kept playing with Harry's hair whilst he still laid on your stomach. you kept feeling the little kicks from your baby girl. feeling them kept your mind at ease. you couldn't wait to meet your baby and neither could anyone in both of your family's.

Harry's mum and dad had been so supportive of the decision you guys had made and so were your parents. your friends kept messaging you asking if it was time yet and you kept reminding them that 'no she isn't here yet, feeling like she will come out soon though'.

Harry himself had changed a lot. he had apologised to Nick and Charlie for how he treated them, mainly because you had cried non stop on the phone to him about how bad you felt for them because everyone was mean to them, but nevertheless he did apologise.

he also became kinder in general; he became the best version of himself for you and your baby and you could not fault him for that.

after an hour or two of you guys sitting together, talking about the future, you felt the sudden pains in your back and lower stomach. you had felt Braxton hick contractions before and different pains but nothing compared to this pain.

'ouch what the fuck' you said, pushing Harry's head off your stomach. you placed one hand on your belly and the other on Harry's hand. 'what's the matter? what's happened?' he said, confused and the sudden outburst you had.

the look on your face gave him an indication that something really hurt you. with the car seat ready in Harry's car (ok yes i understand Harry is 16 but for this he can drive) and you knew that it was time.

you sat still for 10 minutes, contractions coming every 5 minutes. 'Harry, i need you to run upstairs and get the suitcase from my room, it's a pink colour and there is a bag on top of it.' you said, looking into his blue eyes, full of fear.

'okay, i'm going. do you need me to get anything else from up there?' he said in a rushed tone. for the first time ever, you saw Harry getting nervous. Harry had said when you first got together that he never got nervous but he he was a year and a bit later, showing off his nerves.

'maybe my phone charger, and the pink blanket on my bed please' you replied smiling a bit, showing him that it was fine and he shouldn't be nervous. he ran up the stairs quickly and brought down everything you needed.

you stood up and put on some slippers before opening the door for him to put everything in the car. once he had put everything into the boot, he came rushing back, grabbing his keys in the process and helped you to the car.

'are you ok? is she coming now?' Harry asked, standing by the side of you. 'no Harry i'm fine, we need to time the contractions on the way' you replied, giving him a quick kiss before he closed the door and ran around to his side and started driving.

as Harry was driving, he was keeping track of each time you had a contraction. you guys stopped at a traffic light and Harry turned to you. 'Harry it hurts so bad.' you said with a few tears rolling down your face.

'i know love, i'm sorry i can't do anything right now' he replied, taking your hand and giving your forehead a kiss. he wiped the tears before he had to start driving again. you leant your head on his shoulder as he was driving and kept hold of his arm.

you arrived at the hospital about 10 minutes later. 'stay there whilst i get everything out then i'll come help you get out' he said, rushing again to get everything out the car.

he helped you get out then helped you walking into the hospital. they helped you get everything ready and got you situated into your own room before leaving so you could get dressed into the gown they had given you.

Harry helped you a lot. you lent on him as he rocked you softly, whispering encouraging words. 'you are already doing so amazing and you haven't even started

pushing yet.' he said, giving you a few kisses here and there.

the midwife came back into the room and checked how dilated you were and she said you were at 9cm already which was amazing. it meant you were so close to seeing your beautiful baby. you were allowed gas and air and that was your main source of pain relief. you had no other way of pain relief as you were over the 4/5cm rule of the epidural.

it was around 6:36pm. you had been in the hospital for about 2 hours and it was now time for you to start pushing. the contractions had been getting worse and worse and now it was finally time, after 9 long months of waiting, to meet your little girl.

'ok miss y/n, are you ready to start pushing?' the midwife said, looking up at you. 'uhh i guess.' you replied, trying to mentally prepare yourself for what you were about to go through.

'you're gonna be absolutely amazing ok? you've already done so much and nows the last bit' Harry said, holding your hand and putting his other on your forehead, stroking it a little.

then it was time. you started pushing. the pain was excruciating and you couldn't do anything about it. you had to keep going. after about 20 minutes of pushing, and hardly any progress, you started to give up.

'no no, i can't do anymore, it's to painful and nothings working. i can't do it' you said, tears rolling down your face. 'hey yes you can. you think about how much you've already put your body through and this is the last hurdle hmm? do you really want to do all that work for nothing? you can do anything you put your mind too' Harry said. those last words he said reminded you of when you found out you were pregnant. Lauren said them. and here you are again, but this time you are actually going to be a mum.

you looked into Harry's eyes and saw him give you a small smile. you could do this. you kept on pushing and pushing until you heard the sound you had been waiting to hear. your daughter was here. you instantly started crying and you looked over at Harry who had a few tears rolling down his face.

they took the baby over to weigh her and check everything was ok but just before that, Harry got to cut the umbilical cord. after that he came back over to you, he kissed you all over your face and said 'i'm so proud of you. you did so well' whilst giving you one last kiss on your forehead.

you waited for the baby to be put on your chest as skin to skin contact was amazing. it allowed mothers to bond with their baby's even after birth. once you were given her, you got left alone to start being a family. You got a picture of the baby on your chest and sent it to the little group-chat you had with everyone on it; such as Harry's mates and yours.

You also got a few pictures of Harry holding the baby. once you got those photos, you sent them to the group chat and everyone went crazy. you got messages like 'no way you have just had her' and 'she's the most perfect thing i've ever seen'.

it made you smile realising you had created this little bundle of joy and you wouldn't change it for the world.

it was around 8:30pm when you had gotten a few visitors; your parents, Harry's parents and a few friends like Lauren, Nick, Imogen and Charlie etc.

they all gathered around you guys, taking in the new baby that was laying on your chest. 'i cannot believe you've just had a baby. you did amazing' your mum said with a few tears rolling her face.

everyone congratulated you and held the baby at some point. 'i told you that you could do anything you put your mind to didn't i?' Lauren said as she sat next to you on the bed. 'yea you did' you replied, moving up a bit for her to lay next to you. you rested your head on her shoulder and she hugged you.

'i'm so proud of you. i knew you could do it. you've already done so well and she's not even a day old.' she said, looking at the family surrounding Harry as he held the baby. 'he's changed hasn't he?' she kept on, he had a different sort of glow to his face and this smile, a smile that you had never seen before. he looked happier. 'yes, i think he has' you replied.

That baby had changed Harry for the better and you did not mind it.

[helliontherapscallion]

(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Tuesday

Monday     Wednesday     Thursday (Part 1)     Thursday (Part 2)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: anxiety, doctor’s offices, taking pain pills (not sure if I need to tag that, but just in case), stalkers, blackmail, swearing, non-consensual taking pics of nudes, slight body dysmorphia, self-loathing, toxic friends

Word count: 5,326

(A/N): another long chapter, my little wlw heart loved writing this chapter! Also holy shit I was not expecting the first part to blow up, thank you to everyone that read it! Gosh, it’s enough to make a grown woman cry :’)

You cracked open your crusty eyes to Wilbur poking his head into your room. “(Y/n), Dad wants you.”

You groaned rubbing at your eyes in an attempt to get the sleep out of them. “I’ll be down in a sec.” Your voice was scratchy and thick with sleep.

He closed the door silently and you heard his socked feet thumping down the hallway. Your pain faded slightly into soreness, but your shoulders and upper back were slightly stiff. After you drug yourself out of bed, you shambled down the stairs to see your family at the table eating breakfast. Your stomach growled loudly, making you blush slightly in embarrassment. 

Your eldest brother snorted. “Hungry (y/n)?”

You slumped into your seat next to him slowly shoveling food into your mouth. “You have no idea.”

“You wouldn’t be that hungry if you ate dinner when you got home like I told you to do last night, young lady. You better eat every single thing on that plate.”

There was no arguing with a stern Dadza, so you reluctantly complied. Meanwhile, Tommy and Tubbo were telling Wilbur about your match animatedly. 

“And the ball was like fwoosh and she- the ball and-and-”

“And she hit it and Haley hit it to the other side! It was so cool!”

Wilbur merely smiled listening to them ramble about how badass you were last night. They made you feel genuinely happy that they admired your volleyball abilities; they were probably your biggest fans and that made your day most of the time. You remembered the first match they came to during your freshman year, they had run up to you right after the end-of-match whistle blew to spew about how good you were on the court. They met the team that day. Your team adored having them at your games, over the years they slowly replaced your school’s mascot. They played a huge part in morale boosts before and during matches. 

He looked over to you, “I didn’t know my little sister could be so badass.”

You felt your cheeks flare up. “It’s nothing I haven’t done before. It really wasn’t anything special.”

“(Y/n),” Philza pursed his lips, “you did all that with a bruised back, I’d consider that something special.”

“Wait (y/n), you’re hurt?” Tommy and Tubbo looked at you with wide concerned eyes.

“Yeah, but it’s not that bad. I can still move and stuff.”

Techno rolled his eyes, “it’s bad if you’re going to the doctor for it.”

“Eh, it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did yesterday, so I’m not worried.” 

“You’re deadass wincing everytime you move your arm,” WIlbur deadpanned, “it clearly still hurts.”

“Well yeah, I didn’t say the pain went away completely. Fuckin’ dumbass.”

“Language,” Philza glared at you two, gesturing to the two fifth graders watching the exchange with interest. 

You and Wilbur resumed eating and murmured out a defeated “sorry Dad.” You both glared at Techno when he huffed in amusement. 

“If you three keep bickering, you’re going to be late to school. Remember, you two have to drop off Tommy and Tubbo today cuz I’m taking your sister to her appointment. Now go get ready, I’ll take care of your dishes.”

Your brothers took off up the stairs, each competing to get to the bathroom first. Occasionally, you would hear shouts and slapping noises. You felt glad you didn’t have to deal with that today. Judging by Techno’s gruff voice laughing and an explosion of loud complaints from the rest, you assumed that he won today. “I swear, they’re gonna put me in an early grave.”

“You and me both Dad, you and me both.”

You went into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of pain pills from the junk drawer. Various bottles of Motrin and Advil were scattered around the house because when you live with a rambunctious family like this one, people are bound to get hurt and headaches are common. Popping three into your mouth, you washed it down with a glass of water. The sound of the running water faucet and the slight splashing of water filled the silence of the room. 

“How’s your back? Does it feel any better?”

“Kinda, today it just feels more sore than throbbing, my headache went away mostly, and my shoulder doesn’t feel any worse, so that’s better I guess.”

He shut off the water and reached for a towel to dry off his wet hands. He moved over to the freezer and grabbed a frozen package of peas that your family never ate. You all used it whenever one of you would get a bruise. He moved behind you and held it against your back without warning. Flinching forward from the unexpected temperature change, you winced with the wave of pain moving brought you. 

“Shit, sorry.”

“You’re good. Just give me a little warning next time,” you chuckled. He gently placed it back on your back and you sighed from the slight relief that it brought you. You leaned into the peas and closed your eyes. “That feels amazing.”

“I bet. That bruise was pretty bad yesterday, can I look at it again?”

You reluctantly left the sanctuary that was the medical grade frozen peas and leaned forward, moving your hair out of the way for him. “Knock yourself out.”

He made a hissing noise as soon as he moved your shirt out of the way. “Dad, it probably looks worse than it feels.”

“...Have you seriously not looked at this yet? It looks pretty bad, hun.”

“Well, sorry I can’t move to look at my back without being in pain. I’ll try harder next time.” You snarked him.

“Hey, watch the attitude. Here, I’ll take a picture so you can see how bad it is.”

You heard the rustling of fabric as he fished his phone out of his pocket and the obnoxiously loud click of his camera app. You turned around to look at the damage. You squinted at his bright phone screen. Your entire back was swollen in some areas and was covered in ugly reds, blues, blacks, and purples. You made a disgusted noise in the back of your throat and cringed away from the screen. You always got nauseous seeing injuries.

“Yikes.”

“Yikes isn’t the only word I would use, it’s bad (y/n).”

“It looks worse than it feels, I promise. I’m gonna go get ready so we’re not late to my appointment. It sounds like the boys are finally done with the bathroom.”

You hobbled up the stairs slowly and made your way to the bathroom. The door was wide open ready for you to use. Turning on the light, you closed the door in a hurry so that your brothers wouldn’t try to get in again to hog the bathroom like they usually did. You frowned at your appearance. Your hair was sticking up in every direction and you had dark eye bags around your dull looking eyes. A few pimples dotted your skin like constellations in the night sky, but much uglier and more out of place. Turning your body, you scanned your figure. Your eyes watered as you realized that you had gained some weight. Adrian, Sammy, and Annie were right, you looked like garbage all the time.

You ripped your eyes away from yourself in the mirror with disgust etched deep into your features. You were disgusting through and through. Ripping your brush through your hair, you winced at the pain emanating from the back of your head. You deserve the pain for letting yourself go. Once you were slightly more satisfied with your appearance, you stepped out of the bathroom and quickly changed into the clothes you would wear today. You decided on a hoodie and a pair of tights. You didn’t feel like dressing yourself up. 

You once again walked down the stairs and slipped on your shoes to meet your dad in his car. You idly scrolled through your phone while you waited for him, looking at your notifications for the first time that day. You had ten texts from the group chat that you were in with Adrian, Annie, and Sammy.

Sammy <3

(Y/n) where the hell are you?

Adrian <3

Do you guys think she ditched us?

I knew she was ignoring us

Sammy <3

Who ignores their friends?

Annie <3

(Y/n) apparently. 

She has more important things to do ig

Oh my god

Do you guys think she skipped school?

Adrian <3

I wouldn’t put it past her

Maybe she finally gave up

(Y/n)

I’m sorry guys, I just have a doctor’s appointment today

I would never ignore you

Sammy <3

Yk, it’s hard to keep defending you when you keep ditching us..

(Y/n)

I’m not ditching you!

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys about my appointment

I’ll make it up to you guys

Adrian <3

How?

You’ve already skipped out on us enough already

Annie <3

Oh ik!

She can write our final research paper for us Dri!

I haven’t started it yet lmao

Adrian <3

Saaaame lmaoooo

Sammy <3

Guys, what about me???

Adrian <3

Idk, figure it out yourself

Sammy <3

Rude!

Uhhh

Ur gonna put together my final presentation for us history

(Y/n)

Alright, I can do that for you guys

Sam can you pls send me the rubric? 

Annie <3

Thanks love ;)

(Y/n)

No problem, I like doing things for friends

My dad’s coming, I gotta go

Talk to you guys later

Adrian <3

Byeeee (y/n), ur the best!

(Y/n)

: ) <3

You put your phone down as your dad started up the car and pulled out of the driveway. The drive was quiet as you stared out the window and thought about how much work you now had to do. On top of your own classes, you had two more to write and a presentation to make in a class you hadn’t taken since the first semester in your sophomore year. The research papers had to be at least four full pages long with a minimum of ten sources each due on Friday and you had no idea how big Sammy’s US history presentation has to be or what it’s even about. But that was fine, you’d do anything for your friends. 

“So, who were you texting? Your boyfriend?” He asked jokingly.

“Oh, just Adrian, Sammy, and Annie. I don’t have a boyfriend Dad,” because you were a closeted lesbian, but you wouldn’t tell him that anytime soon. “You know that.”

“I know,” he chuckled, “it’s been a while since I’ve seen them. How have they been?”

“They’re good. Adrian got a job at the diner, he’s a host. Sammy and Annie have been focusing more on raising their grades.”

“Good for them! You should invite them over for dinner sometime.”

“I was actually thinking that I could maybe go hang out with them on Halloween...?”

“(Y/n), the family was going to take Tommy and Tubbo trick-or-treating.”

“I know, but there’s always next year. Plus, we haven’t been able to hang out in so long! We’re always free at different times.”

“I don’t know (y/n), what if they don’t want to trick-or-treat next year? What were you planning on doing with them?”

“We were just gonna hang out at Annie’s house and watch some horror movies,” you lied. He would never let you go if he knew you were going to a party. Especially one where alcohol would be involved and hormonal teenage boys ran rampant actively scouting for an easy lay.

“...I’ll think about it.” The car pulled into the doctor office’s parking lot.

“Thank you Dad! It’s been a while since we’ve all hung out together.”

He chuckled as you both walked into the lobby, checked in, and waited for your name to be called. About ten minutes later, you were summoned by a nurse so you went into the back leaving your dad to wait in the lobby. The nurse recorded your height and weight (much to your dismay, you gained four pounds) and asked you the standard questions about your injury and uncomfortable questions about your overall health. The clacking of her acrylic nails on the plastic keyboard filled the awkward silence.

Once that was done, she left and you had to wait a little bit for the doctor. After slipping into the backless gown the nurse left, you mindlessly scrolled on your phone. Jumping when someone knocked on the door, you looked up to see your family’s doctor smiling at you.

“Hello (y/n), how are we feeling today?”

“I’m alright.”

“I hear that you had quite the fall onto some concrete, is that true?”

“Yes, I landed on my back and the back of my head.”

She reached over and squirted hand sanitizer onto her hands, rubbing it in and looking back at you. “Can you please lay on your stomach so I can take a look at your back?”

You nodded, shifting on the uncomfortable paper covered cushioned table onto your stomach. You felt her cold hands gently graze your bruises before she pulled out her stethoscope. “Can you take a good deep breath in for me?”

You complied and she instructed you to let it out. Doing this multiple times along your back, she put her stethoscope away and continued prodding at your exposed back. 

“There’s definitely some swelling in multiple areas… It doesn’t feel or sound like you cracked or broke any ribs, which is excellent… Do you have any pain deep in your shoulder when you move it?”

“Yes, I landed on it wrong last night at my volleyball match.”

“How would you describe your pain? Stabbing, sore, throbbing…”

“More sore, but a little stabbing pain when I move my arm.”

She moved her fingers to examine your shoulder. “It doesn’t sound like a sprain or fracture, can you move it up and down for me?”

You moved your arm up and down, front and back, and side to side. “You still have a full range of movement, that’s good. Can I have you sit back up again?”

You sat back up and she started testing you for a concussion. After passing her tests, you were cleared of having a concussion. “Alright (y/n), it appears that you only strained your deltoid and teres muscles and you have severe bruising along your back. Make sure you ice your back and, if you have one, wear a shoulder compression sleeve. Anti-inflammatory medications such as Ibuprofen will help with the swelling. Other than that, you have a clean bill of health! You can still participate in volleyball practices, but you need to take it easy. Don’t do anything that will strain the muscles any further.”

“Thank you Dr. Samson,” you smiled at her. 

“You’re welcome. I’ll leave you to change back into your clothes and you’re free to go! You may leave the gown on the table.”

She left the room and you redressed yourself. Walking out to the lobby, Philza’s head perked up when he heard the door opening. He stood up and walked over to you with a slightly worried face. You both walked back out to the car.

“So?”

“Dr. Samson said that I don’t have a concussion, sprains or broken bones. She told me that I just strained my shoulder muscles and I need to keep ice on my back.”

He visibly slumped in relief. “Thank god. What’d she say about volleyball?”

“She said that I could keep playing, but I have to take it easy.”

“Good, wouldn’t want you missing finals on Thursday. Do you know if the team you’re playing is any good?”

“Dad, of course they’re good, we’re the top two teams in the area.”

“I bet their setter is nowhere near as good as you are and I bet the setter and spiker aren’t as synced as you and Haley are. You two make a good pair.” 

“Yeah we do, don’t we?” You looked out the window and smiled a little and felt your ears turn red. The very mention of Haley’s name was enough to make you feel like you were on cloud nine. The car fell silent again as you neared your high school. 

In your AP world history class, the class was looking at the test you had taken yesterday. Surprisingly, you got a 74% on the multiple choice part and a 50% on your essay portion, so that landed you with a just below passing grade. You thought you completely flunked that test yesterday, so that was a pleasant surprise. It took a good portion out of your overall grade in the class, lowering it from a comfortable A- to a slightly alarming B. You supposed it could’ve been a lot worse. Besides reviewing your tests, the class didn’t do much except starting the reading for the next chapter.

Your psychology online class went like it usually did, however your phone blew up with texts about midway through the block. Glancing down, you saw that it was Haley. Shouldn’t she be in class?

Hales : )

(Y/n) meet me in the locker room right after school

I need to talk to you before practice starts

It’s an emergency

(Y/n)

What’s going on?

Hales : )

I’ll explain after school.

Can’t talk about it over text

(Y/n)

Alright, see ya then ig

You felt your gut twinge. Something’s wrong, but you didn’t know what. You were worried about Haley, usually she was really bubbly. You’ve never seen the senior act so strange before. You could only wait the block out until the bell would release you from the confines of the library and into the locker room. After sending a quick text to your brothers that you were going to stay after school for your practice, you stared blankly at your laptop’s clock as you counted down the minutes left in the class period. Ten minutes. Eight minutes. Four minutes. Two minutes. Thirty seconds-

You shot up from your seat as the bell rang. Pushing past some groups of freshmen that congregated in the hallways, you made a beeline for the locker room. In the locker room, you found Haley sitting on the metal bench on the opposite end of the locker room with her back facing the last row of lockers and facing the brick wall. She was clenching her phone in her hand with an iron grip. You hurried to sit next to her.

“Hales, what’s going on? Talk to me.”

“It’s bad (y/n). Like, really bad.”

“What’s bad? You’re worrying me.”

Wordlessly, she unlocked her phone and handed it to you. On the screen was something that you weren’t expecting to see. You scrolled through the contents and felt your stomach drop with each scroll; someone took pictures of you and Haley throughout the match last night. Every picture was a violation to yours and Haley’s dignities, they had gotten zoomed in pictures of your boobs and asses. Deeper, there were even pictures taken of you changing into your volleyball uniform through your open window. You were only in your underwear. Haley had a similar picture that you scrolled past as fast as you could. Scrolling to the bottom of the text message thread, the person that sent Haley the pictures added a caption to the last picture. It was a picture of you and Haley together celebrating your match, her arm slung around your shoulder with your mouth open mid-laugh.

Unknown

I’m sending these out to the entire school unless you stop hanging around her.

If you tell anyone, the pics will be printed off and put in every single locker and bathroom the school has.

You’ll be the sluts of Klinkver High. 

Cut all ties now. You have two days. 

Do not try me.

“Jesus christ Haley. Who the fuck would do this? This is sick.”

She took her phone back and locked it without looking at the screen. “I don’t know (y/n). I wanted to tell you not to openly talk to me for a few days. We don’t know who took these, we don’t know what they’re capable of. I don’t wanna risk angering them.”

“We can find them! If we look close enough, we might find a few clues where they were sitting. Do you remember seeing anything suspicious last night?”

“(Y/n), our best option is to leave it. We just can’t talk in person anymore; we can still text each other.”

“Hales, how are we gonna not talk? I’m your setter.”

She ran a hand through her thick black hair. “I don’t know (y/n). Just-just don’t talk to me anymore, I don’t want your pictures leaked.”

“I don’t care about my pictures. My name’s been drug through so much shit this past year that it won’t affect me. I don’t want your stuff leaked.”

She gave a watery laugh, “you care too much, I love that about you…” Glistening eyes turned to look deep into your own. “I’m so scared (y/n), I don’t know what to do.”

You pulled her into a hug, wincing slightly when she squeezed her arms around your upper back. She buried her face into your shoulder and started shaking with muffled sobs. “Haley, I promise I’ll catch whatever sick bastard is doing this to you. You don’t deserve this.”

She said nothing as you rested your chin on the top of her head and started to rock her back and forth slowly. You two stayed like that even after her sobbing resided, finding comfort in each other’s presence. Glancing at the clock, you realized that you two have been in the locker room for an hour. Practice was set to start in fifteen minutes, people were going to start coming into the locker room soon. 

You reluctantly pulled away from the hug and looked Haley in her bloodshot eyes, “I’m not going to let those pictures of you get leaked. I swear on my-”

The door to the locker room swung open and loud laughter echoed throughout the room. Haley pushed you away and speed walked off to a bathroom stall, slamming the door shut behind her. 

“Damn (y/n), what’d you do? She’s pissed.” 

“It’s none of your business, Zara.” 

“Oh, so it’s a lover’s quarrel then~” She cackled, her hair bouncing slightly with each heave of her shoulders. 

“For the love of… Haley and I aren’t dating, we’re both straight.” She’s straight.

“Mmhm.” She brushed past you to go to her locker. You followed her, your locker was in the grouping next to hers. You shared the area with Haley. You changed as fast as you could so that Haley would have time to change before practice starts. Speed walking into the gym, Zara was hot on your trail wearing a shit eating grin.

“Why are you in such a rush? Giving your girlfriend the silent treatment?”

“Zara. We aren’t dating. For the last time, we’re both heterosexual, not homosexual!” You wildly gestured with your hands to emphasize your point, your voice being amplified by the vast gym. Coach Williams gave you a confused look from across the gym. 

“You just keep telling yourself that.”

“I’m serious.”

“Hi serious,” a soft voice replied from behind you, “I’m Jazzy.”

You groaned at the pun at the same time Zara started cackling, giving the short libero a high five. “Nice!”

“That was so bad, Jaz.” You couldn’t help the smile that found its way onto your face.

Zara poked your cheek with a wide grin. “C’mon, you’re smiling!”

“I am and I hate it.”

Your bickering continued with Jazzy watching you two with a content smile. The remaining members of the team (Haley, Marlene, and Zuri) filed into the gym right as Coach Williams blew her whistle. 

Practice went by slowly without Haley talking to you. Sure, you had the rest of the team, but it didn’t feel the same with you guys ignoring each other. If the team or Coach Williams noticed you two not talking to each other, they didn’t say anything. By time practice was over, you all went to the locker room to change. After slipping into your fuzzy pajama pants, you sat on the bench and texted Wilbur to come pick you up. He was supposed to pick you up after practice today because he and Techno took the car home after school. Five minutes passed and he still didn’t reply. He probably won’t see the text until you got home from walking.

You sighed, resting your chin in your palm as you leaned forward. One by one, the girls left the locker room until it was only you and Haley left. 

“Do you need a ride (y/n)?” She asked gently.

“But what if the person sees us together? I can just walk home, it’s not really a big deal.”

She rolled her eyes at you. “It is a big deal. It’s cold and dark out. You could get kidnapped or something. You don’t even have a coat with you. I’m giving you a ride whether you like it or not.”

You playfully rolled your eyes at her and stood up to walk next to her, “okay, mom.”

“Don’t give me that attitude young lady.”

“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my real mom!”

She gasped and lightly smacked the back of your shoulder, “I married your- are you alright? Shit, I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“No, you’re good. It’s just this damned bruise.”

She moved her hands and frantically turned you around to pull the neck of your shirt down. You two stood in front of the school’s main entrance with the nauseatingly bright fluorescent light bouncing off the reflective surface of the tiles. The orange tinted street lights lit up the sidewalk outside.

“(Y/n)-”

“I know what you’re gonna say.”

She scoffed, “oh really? What am I gonna say then, o wise one?”

You turned around to face her, “‘oh, this is bad, yadda yadda yadda.’ Everyone’s been saying that about it. Honestly it looks worse than it feels. Tis but a scratch, m’lady.”

She snorted and covered her mouth, “never call me ‘m’lady’ ever again.”

You started to walk to her car in the empty parking lot. “Or what? What’re ya gonna do?”

“I swear to god, (y/n), I’m gonna leave you here.”

“Do it, pussy. Bet you won’t.”

“You really wanna bet?”

You grinned at her, “hell yeah.”

She broke off into a mad dash to her car, laughing freely into the night sky. You chased after her trying not to move your arms much, your laugh mixing with hers like a perfect symphony composed of the world’s best musicians. The sound of your rubber soles slapping the pavement resonated throughout the parking lot as you quickly gained on her. Reaching out to grab her shirt, she smirked at you and sharply turned to the right into the grass.

You grinned as her pace slowed down slightly. You’d be able to catch her at this pace. You pushed your legs to move faster as she looked at you from over her shoulder and shrieked in surprise at how close you were to her. You cackled at her reaction, reaching out once again, you grabbed her hand. She was stopped dead in her tracks as your shoulder was yanked with the sudden momentum, making you hiss in slight pain. Despite that, you didn’t let go of her soft hand. 

You both stood there under the moonlight and the soft orange street lamps trying to  catch your breath. The slightly damp blades of grass tickled your ankle as you shifted to face her better. Through gasping breaths and a dopey grin, you said “you… lost, pussy.”

She let out a breathy laugh as she pulled you to her car. “Shuddup.”

“Make me~”

She opened the passenger side door for you and got into the driver's seat. Her car smelled like vanilla and citrus. “Oh, you will later when I make you do more sets in weight lifting tomorrow, hurt shoulder be damned.”

She turned on the ignition and the car revved to life, soft indie pop wafted from the speakers. She backed out of the parking space and sped off to the main road. “You wouldn’t…”

“I’m your captain, (y/n). I can make you do whatever I want.” You felt your cheeks heat up a tad. You were happy that she couldn’t see you.

“Naw, you’re too much of a softie for that. Admit it, I’ve got you wrapped around my little finger.”

She chuckled as she pulled into your driveway and put the car in park. “...Alright, maybe you do. Just a bit.”

She turned to look at you. She looked stunning with the shadows accentuating the contours of her face perfectly. You found yourself glancing at her lips and leaning slightly towards you. To your surprise, she started leaning into you as well. Before your lips could finally mesh together, she pulled back with a sigh and ran her hand through her hair. You felt a rush of disappointment and fear course through your veins. She didn’t like you like that, you should’ve known better. You were so stupid. So, so stu-

“I can’t (y/n). I want to kiss you so bad, but we can’t. Not yet at least. Not until we find the pervert that took those pictures of us.”

You sighed, “right.”

The car was filled with awkward silence. Not even the soft music streaming from the speakers could alleviate the awkwardness. God, you really screwed up your friendship, didn’t you? Sammy, Adrian, and Annie were right; you messed up everything you touched.

You coughed, “I think I’m gonna…”

“Yeah…”

You grabbed your bag and walked into your house, the smell of chicken slapping you in the face instantly. Without checking in with your dad, you hurried up the stairs, desperate for the warm comfort of your bed. That, and if you wanted to get Sammy’s presentation and Adrian’s, Annie’s, and your research papers done by Friday, you had to start as soon as you could. You were going to skip dinner for tonight, you’d just grab more breakfast tomorrow morning. 

You plopped on your bed and got started on your research paper. Luckily, you already had all of the sources you were planning on using and the rough outline of each body paragraph, so writing the actual paper wasn’t going to take long. You worked until you heard a knock at your door. 

“(Y/n),” Techno’s monotone voice called out, “dinner’s ready.”

“Tell Dad I’m not hungry. Practice’s got me beat, I’m going to bed soon.”

He grunted, “you know he’s not gonna like that right?”

You felt frustration start to swim circles around your chest, “Techno, just tell him that I’m not hungry right now. Please.”

“Damn, you don’t need to be like that. I’ll tell him.”

You heard his stomping footsteps thumping down the hall. Shit, you pissed him off. You were a terrible person, he was just trying to get you to eat something, Pushing back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes, you forced the panic that was starting to swirl around your body in laps deep into your being. You didn’t have time to deal with your failures and stupid emotions, you had to get this done. You didn’t have time to think about Haley’s warm breath ghosting across your lips. You didn’t have time to think about how she probably regretted almost kissing you. You didn’t have time to fall into an anxiety spiral, you needed to focus if you wanted Adrian, Annie, and Sammy to forgive you. You ruined yours and Haley’s friendship and did the same to yours and Techno’s. They were the only ones you had left. You needed to be a better friend.

Taglist (comment if you want to be added or if I missed you, it won’t let me tag some tumblrs :((( ):

@immadatmostthings  @thaticecreambish  @hee-hee-haw  @dearnataliealoveletter  @wasteofspacze  @dcml04  @bbigbbrainn  @dirtydiavolo  @vanhakirja  @rinzyx05  @misselsbells06  @ialexabsuniverse  @im-a-depressed-gay  @energy-drinkk  @mothra-main  @i-need-hugs  @dragons-lurk-here  @katj733  @m4r-s  @vievi  @dykeragee  @waterstrawberry  @aplaintart  @kakamiissad  @myunfinishedsymphony  @nagitokinnieissad  @autumnpleaves  @justanothergirlwithdemons  @zachariethememerie  @moon-asia  @m0on-blue  @strawberrysodababy  @akikko-yataro  @haikkeiji  @shiningsunrises  @cinnamonmochi  @queen-turtle-boiii  @imanewsoul  @sparkling-gayyyy  @angelicaschuyler-church  @vixenfoxpup  @ella-ivanov  @shio-yuki  @mosstea-png  @ijustshatbricks

[chosonore]

cynosure

cynosure [noun. one that serves to direct or guide; a center of attraction or attention]

pairing: sukuna/f!reader

summary: in which sukuna re-discovers being human one aspect at a time, through many lifetimes, at the price of losing you over and over.

wordcount: 8.7k

content/warnings: reincarnation au, slow burn but also not really because there's only hints of romance? language, it's not canon at all, just pretend sukuna was never sealed away, lowercase is intended

a/n: this is more self-indulgent tbh sukuna is probably uncharacteristically soft? sometimes i'm reminded of the fact that he used to be human and while we don't exactly know how he became a curse just yet, i kinda felt sad about it lol i'm too sympathetic with everything, it's gonna kill me one day fhuierhfa a lot of these moments are based on my own experiences, where i had to remind myself that even the small things in life are really good and important, especially during the pandemic. that being said, i hope you enjoy and stay safe everyone :) (and please don’t judge me too hard on this lol i haven’t written in like what. six years?)

001.

“oh,” you stared at the tall, pink-haired man in front of you. “i didn’t think anyone would be here around this time…” he stared back at you, not replying nor making any move to scoot over so that you could sit on your bench. it was only then that you noticed the black markings framing his face and adorning his wrists. you were a little dumbfounded - your mother had always said that you had a poor survival instinct. though you supposed that his pink hair eased your nerves a little; surely someone with pink hair couldn’t be as evil. but you couldn’t recall ever seeing someone like this around the proximity of your village. maybe he was a vagrant. 

“i don’t mean to be rude but… that’s my bench and i would appreciate if you could maybe… scooch over?” you asked gingerly, not wanting to upset the stranger. you approached him slowly, grasping your basket tightly. if he got a little rowdy, maybe you could just wack him with the basket, right? although it probably won’t hurt but it surely would stun him long enough for you to run.

“i don’t see why i should move just because it’s your bench,” the stranger answered gruffly, crossing his arms. were you naive or just stupid? “do you not know who you’re talking to, woman?” 

you cocked your head to the side, not sure what he meant. maybe he was one of those famous poets or musicians that your parents liked to talk about. you weren’t entirely sure. even though he sounded annoyed, the look in his eyes didn’t quite match the hostility - he looked rather bored, unamused even, but not hostile. maybe you could humour him a little. “am- am i supposed to know you? i’ve never been outside of the village so i don’t know much. only what the merchants tell me. i apologize if i’ve offended you,” you explained hastily, then pointing at your basket. “i just came here to enjoy the sunrise. um, today is my birthday, so i treated myself to some dessert!”

“if- if you scooch over a litte, i could share some with you…” you tried to bargain with him. now you were truly starting to sound desperate but this was your favourite spot and it was the first time in a while that you had a free day to relax. out of all days, just why did he have to be here now? you’d be damned if you let your day get ruined by this unfriendly stranger. 

“are you trying to bribe me?” the stranger narrowed his eyes at you and you thought this was it. he was going to kill you and bury your body in the forest and your parents would come look for you, only to find your empty basket and then start a huge search party to find you and- the pink haired man moved to the side, refusing to look you in the eyes. “sit.”

you let out a squeak in glee, quickly taking a seat beside him. he watched in silence as you unwrap your desserts, glancing at the objects in question. even though you’d offered to share with him, he didn’t actually expect you to give him some of your food. sukuna was surprised when you handed him a… round squishy thing? 

“what is that? how is that going to satiate me?” he asked, almost offended, which made you giggle. you didn’t reply, instead thrusting the mochi towards him until he begrudgingly took it, closely inspecting it in suspicion. 

“that’s a daifuku mochi. it’s made out of rice flour and filled with red bean paste. but come to think of it… do you even like sweets? i’m sorry if you don’t particularly enjoy it,” you explained and grabbed one as well. you were about to bite into your mochi when you saw the stranger opening his mouth, ready to devour the entire mochi in one go. in horror, you quickly grabbed his wrist to stop him, only to have him suddenly pin you down and tower over you.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” you hastily said, now suddenly aware of the dark, threatening aura that he was emitting. maybe he was a killer after all. “i just didn’t want you to eat it in one go! they’re kind of difficult to eat in one go… plus you’re supposed to savour and enjoy it, take your time eating it!” 

sukuna stared at the girl in disbelief, you’d grabbed him out of nowhere just to stop him from eating too fast? not only were you not aware of who he was, you apparently did not know how to be cautious around strangers. it irked him that you were acting like he was a harmless human being. so much so that he briefly contemplated killing you. “who are you to tell me how to eat?” he growled at you, not softening his grip. he saw the panic and fear in your eyes but for some reason, he couldn’t quite put a finger on it, it didn’t fill him with joy as it usually did.

“i’m just telling you how we usually eat mochi!” you harrumphed, now annoyed that he was acting like you just committed murder. “you didn’t know what these were, so i was just trying to explain! food is supposed to be enjoyed, not ravished all at once. you have to appreciate your food because there might be days where you won’t have any. and besides, enjoying and properly tasting your meal is the least you can do to show gratitude to the person who cooked it for you.” sukuna let up and sat back on his previous spot, seemingly accepting your answer. you sat up, adjusting your yukata and pouted at him. what a rude stranger! you at least expected an apology from him but seeing that he was already taking a bite from his mochi, you guessed you should just let it go. it wasn’t worth getting angry over anyways, not on this day.

“why are you looking at me like that, little girl?” sukuna questioned, taking another bite from his mochi. he did actually enjoy it and it took every bone in his body not to hastily eat more and to savour it like you’d told him to. maybe this wasn’t so bad after all, it made him think about his meals a little more. not eating for the sake of eating, but for enjoyment, he mused. sort of like living for enjoyment, not for the sake of living. 

“you never told me your name,” the girl replied innocently. sukuna sighed. so you really weren’t aware of who he was. “my name is y/n! now it’s only fair if you tell me, especially because i shared my food with you. please?”

before sukuna could reply, he sensed someone quickly approaching. they were hiding somewhere in the forest; it likely was a jujutsu sorcerer, trying to exorcise him. he could deal with them later, but not here, not with you around. the girl looked at him in disappointment when he abruptly stood up, turning towards the forest behind them. unfortunately, he had the inkling that you wouldn’t let it go until he answered: “my name is sukuna, king of curses.” your eyes widened in recognition but you didn’t immediately react or scramble away from him, most likely frozen in fear. 

“now go. someone is coming and you do not want to be in the crossfire.”

002.

as a seamstress, you’ve encountered all kinds of customers. ranging from rude and bratty to eternally grateful, you’ve seen it all. your supervisor had always told you to remain calm and polite, to just adhere to their wishes to not cause any ruckus. after all, people of status often assumed that they were untouchable and could treat others poorly. it wasn’t worth the hassle to start a fight with them, you could lose your job after all. there was moments you’d have to stand up for yourself but this wasn’t it. fortunately, your employer paid you well, enough for you to provide for your family. the customers were high-profile after all.

you looked at the clock on the wall, your next customer was supposed to come soon. it was a nobleman that apparently travelled here from far away, having heard that the store offered beautiful, one of a kind fabrics. you just hope that he wasn’t rude and that you could leave in time. you’d been working overtime for weeks now, taking every appointment and customer that you could get. your mother’s birthday was approaching and you’d been saving up to buy some of the soft and silky fabrics to sew her a new yukata. your mother had always sacrificed her own comfort to buy the best items she could afford for your siblings and you and now that you were older, you could finally treat her to something nice as well. your employer was even willing to give you a small discount and you gratefully took up on her offer.

the chime of the doorbell made you look up, the good feeling in your stomach slowly fading when you saw who entered. you were familiar with the customer after all; he was well known in the area, being a rather volatile and sometimes scary aristocrat who had the reputation to be particularly difficult and having outrageous demands. you hastily stood up, brushing the wrinkles out of your clothing and walking over to greet him. you bowed politely, taking the outerwear that he took off and placing it on a nearby armchair. “sir, i’ll bring you a few samples shortly. do you have any colour or pattern preferences?” you asked him, placing a pot of tea and a cup on the small side table for him to enjoy. you made note of his wishes and disappeared in the storage room to pick up the samples. the customer had made himself at home, eyeing you scrutinizingly. he made you queasy, looking so incredibly unfriendly and you could tell that you were not going home early tonight.

you showed each of the fabrics to him, explaining what materials they were made of and what occasions they were good for but with each explanation, he just looks more and more uninterested. not to mention the snarky remarks he made, seemingly not happy of the choices you presented him. you were running out of options and you didn’t know what else to do to please him when suddenly you heard someone enter the shop. both the customer and you looked over confused - you weren’t expecting any more customers today, it was already late after all. a tall, pink-haired man entered the shop, scowling at your customer. you jumped slightly; he looked scary and you were terrified, not sure what to do in this situation. not only were the black markings on his face and body terrifying, there was also a threatening aura surrounding him, dark and slowly spreading out, all your instincts were screaming at you to run. should you politely ask him to leave? he looked like he wouldn’t take it too well. before you could ask him whether he was looking for something, the stranger spoke up: “you know who i am, leave.”

your eyes widened, slowly inching back towards the back of the store. you were not aware of who this man was but by the looks of your pale-faced customer, he surely did. “this is outrageous!” he exclaimed indignantly, jumping out of his seat. “you can’t just burst in here and demand that i leave! i have an appointment! are you aware of how long the waiting list is? this is the finest shop in the entire prefecture and i would rather die than to give up my spot for a scoundrel like you.” the stranger raised his eyebrows at the shorter man, clicking his tongue in annoyance. you slowly reached out to grab your pair of scissors. they probably weren’t of much use but it made you feel more safe, knowing you could at least somehow defend yourself.

“oh? you would rather die? i’m sure that can be arranged,” the stranger threatened and it was with horror that you watched his fingernails, sharp and pointy, grow in size. he wasn’t human, you’d just encountered a monster. he would kill you and it wouldn’t take him much effort to do so, you were sure he could just stab you with those fingernails. your customer squeaked and left the store in panic, slamming the door in the process, while you quickly hid behind the counter. you hoped he would leave you alone, you didn’t want to get involved. this wasn’t your problem, you were innocent and it was an unfortunate coincidence for you to be here. 

“stop hiding,” the stranger commanded, slowly approaching the counter. you peeked from below the counter, holding your breath. what else could he possibly want from you? demons surely didn’t need money. oh god, was he going to kidnap you?

he swiftly rounded the corner and knelt down to take a closer look at you - you couldn’t react fast enough, he’d already grabbed your chin and made you look at him, turning your head from side to side as he examined you. his fingernails were slightly digging into your skin, making your face scrunch up in discomfort. “so it is you,” he exclaimed in a low voice, then abruptly standing back up. you were confused - what did he mean by that? at least he didn’t kill you, at least not yet. but what else could he possibly want from you? “i need a new kimono. that scumbag just left anyways, make one for me instead.”

a kimono? a simple kimono? you couldn’t believe what you just heard. this demon just came in here, threw a fit but all he wanted was a simple kimono? you couldn’t help but scoff at the situation though it probably was difficult to enter a store without people fleeing or refusing to serve him. while he did look human, the markings on his face made it difficult not to feel threatened. but why did he know you? you had never seen this man in your life before. not in passing, not on drawings, nowhere. no matter how hard you wracked your brain, you just couldn’t recall. “d- do you have any- any colour preference?” you questioned him, watching how he took a seat and grabbed himself the cup of tea. 

“white,” he answered curtly, taking a sip from the tea. “i’ll leave everything else up to you.”

you felt uncomfortable but there was nothing else you could do than follow his orders. you grabbed a few plain white fabric samples and slowly inched over to him, holding them out with your trembling hands. “what?” he deadpanned. you huffed in frustration. 

“sir, you should… you should choose the fabric. it’s your kimono after all, you might not like the feeling of the fabric or it might not be a good fit for your everyday life,” you explained.

“i don’t care, just choose whatever. i’m above the comfort you stupid mortals choose.”

“that’s stupid,” the words left your mouth quicker than you could stop yourself and you slapped your hands over your mouth. the stranger looked at you as equally shocked. “i mean- i mean there’s nothing wrong with indulging in comfortable clothes!” you explained quickly, pressing the samples into his hands. “see you wouldn’t like scratchy clothes, right? or fabric that quickly makes you sweat or feel too warm! i always talk to my customers about what kinds of fabrics they would prefer… i believe life is too short to wear ill-fitting clothes or ones that don’t feel comfortable! good clothing should make you feel like… like a warm hug.”

the stranger didn’t look like he understood what you meant, making you scoff again. some people really didn’t care about what they wore and how they looked like and it just bothered you. good quality fabrics and well tailored clothing could make you feel confident and safe, even in the worst situations. how could you possibly relax if your clothing was maybe scratchy or ill-fitting? “i’ll prove it to you!” you exclaimed and left the room to gather your supplies, then coming back to instruct him where and how to stand so you could take his measurements. now that he was towering over you, you were suddenly very aware of how tall and broad he was. you felt like a dwarf next to him. up close, you noticed more details about him. he was attractive, you couldn’t deny that - the long wispy eyelashes, the watchful ruby eyes and his soft-looking pink hair. if he picked up on your staring, he didn’t comment on it.

once you were done taking notes and choosing fabrics, you gave him a slip of paper, noting down time and date for him to come back to pick the kimono up. “as for payment-” you started but the stranger dropped a huge bag of coins on the counter. you gasped, pushing the bag back into his arms. “sir, that’s too much! i’ll calculate the exact price for you but-” 

“take it,” he insisted and pushed it back towards you. “i have enough. you need the money right? see it as a generous tip.” your face flushed, you didn’t even know what to say and instead only profusely thanked him. it was so much money, the tip was enough to cover your family’s expenses for a year.

when sukuna picked up his kimono weeks later, he still didn’t understand what a hassle you made about the choice of fabrics and why you were so diligent in taking the measurements. he was fine with everything as long as he had something to wear in the first place. he didn’t care, he wasn’t a measly human that whined about the mildest inconvenience. in the private of his abode, he tried the kimono on, abruptly halting his movements as soon as the fabric touched his skin. so the girl was right, the fabric did feel incredibly good on his skin. it was very smooth and silky, a little cool on his skin. very lightweight but not flimsy. the kimono wasn’t too short and fit his tall statue well, you really did a good job he supposed. he glanced at himself in the mirror. it did look good on him, even the matching colours and patterns were chosen well. you really were a good seamstress, no wonder everyone was flocking to the store.

now that sukuna wore the kimono, he suddenly didn’t want to take it off. it was comfortable and soft, reminding him of you.

003.

your favourite spot was one below a tree, on top of a hill where you could see everything. the small city below, the horizon, the stars in the sky. you often came here when you felt like your life came crashing down your shoulders. it didn’t feel like your own anymore, not with your future already laid out for you without you being able to control it. complaining had always felt redundant and ungrateful to you - you had everything you needed, a loving family, food on the table and your family was wealthy enough to not have to worry about money. but in return, they expected everything from you, their eldest daughter. sometimes, the pressure was too much for you but they expected you to do as they say. everything was well until they announced that you were to get married and they’d found a suitor for you. you couldn’t even protest, the decision had already been made behind your back and you couldn’t refuse. you sniffled quietly, wrapping the blanket tighter around you. you didn’t know this man; he might be a complete asshole and not treat you well at all.

the wind was biting at your skin, cold and unrelenting, and yet you felt safe here, away from all your worries. the starry sky made you feel like your worries were miniscule, reminding you that there was so much more out there for you to discover. you’d always liked the sight of stars, they always made you happy. on lucky days, you’d even get to see a few shooting stars. you’d close your eyes and clasp your hands, hopeful that whatever wish you made would come true. the crunch of leaves and twigs made you look up in alarm, scared that your parents had found out you left the estate and now found your secret hiding spot. you couldn’t quite make out the figure in the darkness, only being able to tell that a tall person was approaching you.

you were wary, inching towards the tree behind you to hide but froze when a voice rang out: “i know you’re there. i was looking for you all over the city, little one.” a man clad in a kimono was coming closer, stopping right in front of you and looking at you in disdain. your eyes lit up as you recognized him; you’d met sukuna a couple of times in the city before, mostly when you went to pick up some books to read. he’d been there one time when you were choosing your books and scoffed at your choice. you’d ask him about it, wondering why he thought that your choice was a bad one. he went on and on about how historically inaccurate the book was and that the information about curses was wrong and how an author like that should be ashamed to even publish it. you appreciated the dialogue, you liked having someone to discuss with you. your parents didn’t like that you read fantasy books and books that talked about supernatural events and beings, dubbing them as nonsense and that you should focus on your studies instead.

after your third meeting, sukuna had finally opened up and told you his name. your meetings became more frequent then but you’d never met anywhere other than the bookstore. you were surprised that he even found you here; you decided not to question him though, sukuna always seemed to know where you were, always sensing where you were headed. truthfully, you looked forward to spending time with him. he was attentive and always listened to you, barely ever talking. oddly enough, it made you feel like finally, someone was paying attention to your thoughts and needs. lately, a heavy feeling in your chest was always accompanying you when you met up with him. it was a dull ache, some kind of yearning that you couldn’t quite put a finger on. it didn’t help that you felt like you’d met him before, but you really couldn’t recall where you had met him before. “what are you doing here?” you questioned him, scooting to the side to offer him some space on the picnic blanket.

unceremoniously, he sat down and glanced over to you. he didn’t reply, simply shrugging. “why didn’t you bring a coat?” you asked another question instead, frowning at his choice of clothing. aside from his kimono, he wasn’t wearing anything else. “you’ll catch a cold!” you scolded him, swatting his arm before tugging on his sleeve and signalling him to move closer to you so you could wrap the blanket around his shoulders. you struggled a little to reach him, almost stumbling - sukuna’s arm immediately shot out to hold you so you wouldn’t fall. your cheeks flushed red and you were thankful that it was dark. you cleared your throat and sat back down, snuggling into the blanket and his side. 

“by the way, i read that book you disliked the other day,” you told him, rambling about the contents of the book and what you thought of it, all while sukuna simply listened to you. he only spoke up when he challenged your way of thinking or to agree, otherwise staying silent and just watching you.

suddenly you grasped his hand in excitement, pointing at the sky. “oh, oh! look!!” sukuna’s gaze followed the direction you pointed to, spotting some shooting stars flitting across the sky. “you have to wish for something!” you squeezed his hand and nudged him, then squeezing your eyes shut to prepare yourself to wish. 

“what would i even wish for?” sukuna frowned and pinched your cheek. “what do you wish for?”

“you’re not supposed to share wishes! if you do, they won’t come true,” you argued back and stuck your tongue out at him. sometimes, he really was too skeptical, never indulging in harmless fun. it might be childish to believe in these things but sometimes that little spark of hope was all you need to wait for better things. you sighed when the shooting stars disappeared and let go of his hand, screaming internally. did you really grab his hand like that? you sure hoped you didn’t unsettle him. 

“i don’t think i told you, but my parents have found a suitor for me,” you confided in him quietly, staring at the grass near your feet. “i’m supposed to marry him next year but… i don’t want to, i don’t know this person and i just want to live my life with no one controlling it.”

“i see. there’s still time to get to know him, isn’t there?” you knew sukuna was trying to console you but it wasn’t exactly working. your words frustrated you a little; subconsciously, you’d hoped that he shared the same opinion and maybe, just maybe, help you do something reckless. 

“i don’t want to get to know him,” you huffed and crossed your arms (sukuna thought you looked like a petulant child). “i… i already like someone.”

“you do?” sukuna looked at you surprised and that was the first time that he’d shown any other emotion than indifference. you nodded shyly, hoping that maybe he’d get the hint. you weren’t confident just yet to confess to him but maybe he’d get it from your description alone? 

“i recently met him and i really like that he makes me feel like, you know, important and always pays attention to me. he doesn’t talk a lot but i think that that’s okay, we still have a silent mutual understanding, i guess. and i also think he looks really handsome! although i-”

sukuna had enough of your rambling, he felt annoyed that you were telling him about your stupid crush. whatever boy you had a crush on, they would never amount to the likes of him. why would you look at someone else when he was right there? right here, with you. sukuna reached over and grabbed your cheeks to make you look at him before pressing his lips on yours. you froze for a short moment before returning the kiss, holding onto his kimono when he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer. why would you pay attention to someone else when he could be with you? for the first time in his existence as a curse, he briefly felt human again. maybe shooting stars were the key to wishes coming true after all; in this moment he wouldn’t mind being human again, being alone with her with only the stars as your witnesses.

004.

gradually you were really starting to dislike your night shifts. usually, you’d ask to cover them because it was quiet, there were no nosy customers and the only people that ever came in so late were sleep deprived students that pulled all nighters to write papers or study. well it used to be that way until a group of, presumably, freshmen started coming more and more frequently - they wouldn’t have been so annoying if it wasn’t for them talking and laughing obnoxiously loud. they would stay until late in the night and kept ordering drinks. the audacity to have oddly specific orders, to watch you like a hawk while you were preparing their drinks, it made your blood boil. to top it all off, one of the guys kept flirting with you, even when you’d already made it obvious that you were not interested at all. no matter how uninterested and abrasive you acted, the guy would not leave you alone and his friends would try to act as wingmen. clueless and horrible wingmen.

you were glad that you were never alone during your night shifts, depending on the weekday you’d work in a team of two or threes. whenever they could, they’d cover for you and you were thankful but also felt bad, which usually resulted in you taking over anyways. you placed the basket on the counter, grabbing a towel to dry the cups you’d just washed. the chime of the doorbell made you look up, your heartbeat speeding up at the sight of sukuna coming in. like the group of freshmen, sukuna had recently started to visit the café more and more. he usually only came late at night and he probably was your favourite regular. scratch that, he was your favourite, no one was as calm as him and he never caused trouble. yeah, maybe those night shifts weren’t all that bad, you thought to yourself. you looked forward to him visiting every time you had a night shift.

“hi sukuna,” you greeted him softly and gave him a smile, placing the cup on a shelf. “the usual?” he took a seat near the bar, placing his wallet on the counter and taking off his coat. sukuna was peculiar, not particularly in a bad way. you always thought that he was a little mysterious. he always wore the same kimono - who wears kimonos everyday in this day and age anyways - the same white kimono but maybe he just owned mulitple of them. you could never tell what he was thinking and he had never shown any emotions other than brief moments of bliss when he was having his usual order. his order had always and would probably always be a simple black coffee and some daifuku mochi. it was a weird combo, you mused, but somehow fit him. it was a sharp contrast, just like his tattoos and the soft pink hair. you finished up the order, pushing the cup of coffee and the plated mochi towards him - you’d sneaked another one in just for him, knowing how much he seemed to like them. sukuna looked up at you, ready to protest but you just brushed it off, telling him that it was okay.

out of the corner of your eye you saw your not so secret admirer approaching with an empty cup and you instantly knew you were bound to be annoyed again. you sighed, returning to the cash register to take his order. “so, when am i finally going to get to take you out?” the guy asked, leaning on the counter to get closer to you. you gritted your teeth, ignoring his question and instead took the empty cup, placing it in the kitchen sink behind you. 

“oh come on, don’t ignore me, baby,” he whined, not letting up until you answered. you were annoyed, so so annoyed. your co-workers were currently organizing the inventory so you were all by yourself - usually that would be fine but you’d had enough. this week has already been awful and you just wanted to be left alone. you glanced around, spotting sukuna on the side. suddenly a lightbulb went on in your head and you faced your admirer confidently. 

“i’m sorry but please stop flirting with me and trying to ask me out,” you started and pointed to sukuna who was innocently taking a bite from his mochi. “i already have a boyfriend and i don’t think he appreciates you cornering me like this. you being this persistent is really annoying, girls don’t like that.”

upon hearing his name, sukuna looked up and as if on cue, he glared at your admirer. “yeah, i suggest you fuck off. get a hint, you creep, she’s mine,” he snarled, making a move towards the other guy who was already scrambling to get away and profusely apologizing. mine, mine, mine. his words kept repeating in your head, your heart squeezing painfully. was he interested in you? would he ever come to see you more than just a barista? you sighed in both relief and affliction, trudging over to sukuna. 

“i’m sorry i dragged you into this,” you apologized embarrassed, shoulders drooping and you stared at the floor just so he wouldn’t see your reddened cheeks. “he’s been pestering me so much and i kind of thought that that was the only way to get him to back off.”

“i don’t mind,” sukuna replied curtly, resuming his seat. he didn’t say anything else and you slightly panicked, you wanted to keep talking to him, stay in his company for a little longer. 

“ah uhm sukuna, i want to thank you! if… if you don’t mind, i would like to treat you to another drink?” you suggested, your face now beet red. this was the most straightforward you had ever been with a guy, usually too shy to make a move. in distance you could hear the chime of the doorbell and the doors slamming, indicating that the group had left. you were alone. sukuna didn’t reply at first and you were sure you’d fucked up and got ready to backtrack and laugh it off when he nodded. 

“go ahead, little one,” he nodded towards the counter. “you choose the drink.”

you didn’t know why sukuna kept calling you little one but for some reason, you didn’t mind. it did however make your heart ache in what you could only describe as melancholy. you weren’t sure why. while you started brewing some green tea for the two of you, the sound of thunder rumbled in the distance. the pitter patter of raindrops against the glass front was the only sound audible in the entire café. sukuna hadn’t uttered another word, not even making a sound of acknowledgement when you handed him the cup of tea and sat next to him. 

“you didn’t bring an umbrella,” you noted, looking out of the window. it was raining heavily, with no signs of it stopping anytime soon. “i guess you’ll have to stay here for a little longer, otherwise you’ll get sick. i hope you aren’t sick of me though.”

sukuna took a sip of his tea. “i don’t mind your company,” he replied, looking at you. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking but you sincerely hoped he wasn’t joking. hearing that gave you a little hope. 

“i like moments like this,” you confessed to him, clutching the warm cup with your sweater paws. “having a warm cup of tea and watching the rain from the comfort of your home. or in this case, a café. the sound of rain is really calming, isn’t it? makes you forget about all your worries for a while, it’s just you and your cup of tea.”

again, sukuna didn’t reply for a while. you thought you’d bored him to death with your monologue until he spoke up: “i don’t see how it’s any different from having a cup at any time of the day.” your cup was placed back on the counter. you frowned, not sure how to explain it to him. in moments like these, sukuna seemed to be something of an old being that has seen everything, feelings now dull and locked away. 

“well, see it like this. making yourself a cup of tea or coffee everyday is a normal thing to do, right? it happens almost automatically because it’s just part of your daily routine, you like how it tastes, it makes you feel more awake or helps you sleep. but… but you never really take your time to enjoy it, right?”

sukuna was contemplating, you almost giggled at the little frown on his face. but you were glad that he was willing to listen to you and discuss it with you, instead of dismissing the topic entirely. “but what does that have to do with rain?” he finally asked. 

you pointed outside. “you wouldn’t really go out in this weather, right? not if you have any emergencies or urgent matters to attend to. and same goes for everyone else; it kind of… kind of forces you to stay inside, to fully enjoy your warm beverage. the sound of rain is pretty calming, it’s some kind of whitenoise that might block out intrusive thoughts, at least it does that for me. so it’s only you, the sound of rain and your cup of tea. for a few minutes, you can just relax and have a moment for yourself.”

sukuna still didn’t quite understand how humans worked. it’s been hundreds of years since he’s ceased to be human, he’s forgotten what is what like being human. what human emotions entailed. but he agreed, it has been a while since he’s felt at ease and peaceful even. it was a moment of bliss, a moment that caused a flare-up of old, buried feelings inside of him.

004.1

you still hadn’t mustered up the courage to actually ask sukuna out after you dragged him into that fake dating-situation. he did still come late at night, being the most loyal customer of the café at this point. it was almost… almost as if he’d seeked out your company. though he did tell you that he didn’t mind your company; your ego deflated a little. sukuna still wore his kimono but paired it with a thick winter coat - it was winter after all and the weather had been very extreme. the ground was covered in inches of snow and you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. sukuna insisted on walking you home when your shift ended. you weren’t sure why because he’d never offered to do so before. you were thankful though since it was still snowing and the streets were completely empty; even though the snow looked beautiful, it was still a little eerie to walk home in this weather. especially since a lot of busses weren’t running anymore due blocked roads.

“sukuna, aren’t you cold?” you asked as you switched off the lights and fumbled with your keys. finally finding the right one, you closed up, shoving the keys back in your back and fishing out your gloves. “you don’t even wear gloves!” you gasped when you saw his bare hands, handing him one of yours. sukuna looked at you as if you were crazy.

he wasn’t cold but he couldn’t tell you that, couldn’t let you know that he was a curse. but handing him one of you gloves? you were too nice, always thinking of others first and never being selfish. sighing, he put on the glove that was uncomfortably small but he’d endure it for your sake.

“it’s been a while since we’ve had this much snow,” you mused and took a few steps around, giggling at the sound of crunching snow beneath your feet. sukuna simply followed you, looking comical with the bright yellow and tiny glove on his hand. you smiled at him, admiring how etheral he looked underneath the streetlights with the snowflakes flurrying around him and some getting stuck in his hair. your heart suddenly ached, a far away memory emerging. it was blurry and unclear, a cold night similar as this underneath the stars and a face staring at you. you couldn’t tell who it was nor were you sure whether it was just a case of déjà vu.

“you know, this kind of calls for a snowball fight,” you grinned at sukuna mischievously and grabbed some snow, beginning to form it into a ball. he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, looking at you defiantly. 

“i’m not going to indulge in childish business like th-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence as you hurled the snowball at him and giggled like a maniac as it hit his shoulder. you quickly hid behind a bush as you quickly tried to form another, enjoying the dumbfounded look on sukuna’s face. clearly, he didn’t expect you to follow through with your plan and was caught by surprise. “oh you’re on,” he growled after a moment and grabbed himself some snow as well. you quickly threw another snowball at him, this time only being able to hit his leg. eyes widening at the sight of sukuna raising his arm to throw his snowball at you, you let out a squeak and dove behind a tree - the snowball still hit you square on your back, making you yelp at the cold feeling.

for minutes you could only hear the crunches of snow, loud laughter and snowballs hitting objects. you sat on a bench, exhausted from running and ducking away and your belly was starting to hurt from all the laughter. sukuna caught up to you, juggling a snowball in his hands. “you gonna give up?” he asked, a smirk gracing his lips. clearly he was winning, being able to aim a lot better than you. you missed him most of the time but had fun regardless. 

“never!” you replied, holding out your arms to defend yourself from the incoming snowball. it never came and instead sukuna was inching closer with an evil look in his eyes. oh no. what was he up to? you yelped when you realized that he was aiming for your neck, jumping up to get away from him. sukuna was quick to react and grabbed your arm, pulling you back into his chest and holding you close, smushing the snow against your neck. “ew sukuna, stop!” you laughed and squirmed in his arms until he threw the snowball away, rubbing your back gently. 

“that was really cold, you know,” you pouted, burying your face in his chest. 

he wrapped his arms around you, sighing quietly. “i know, i know, sorry.”

you swore that you felt his lips on the crown of your head.

005.

you were, undoubtedly, lost. your phone was about to die and you were stranded in the middle of the city, not sure where to go. to be fair, it was very, very easy to get lost here and it was your first time visiting. your grandparents lived here and while you’ve visited before, you couldn’t quite remember anything anymore. you were a child back then. and the city had drastically changed too, making it difficult for you to navigate yourself around. though your poor sense of direction was probably at fault as well. you sighed, trying to call your grandparents again. no one was picking up. you turned your phone off to save some of the battery, maybe you could call them later.

luckily, you’d brought your cameras so you could at least keep yourself busy until someone freed you from this misery. you walked towards the nearby shrine; there didn’t seem to be any people here, it was very quiet aside from the sound of cicadas. you took a few photos before continuing your journey, soon finding yourself standing on top of the hill. the view from here was breathtaking, even more so because the sun was starting to set, painting the sky in a beautiful yellow and orange hue. you fumbled with your camera again, trying to take a photo when someone suddenly moved into your shot. you paused and looked at the person in front of you who was staring at you as well. considering they were wearing a kimono, you assumed that they must work here. did you make a mistake? maybe you weren’t supposed to take photos and this person came to tell you off.

“i’m sorry!” you said quickly, quickly shoving your camera in your bag. “am i allowed to take photos here?” 

the stranger frowned at you, clearing his voice before replying: “how am i supposed to know? i don’t work here.” 

you groaned, rubbing your face in embarrassment. of course you’d say something wrong, you always did. and now you probably annoyed him too - he looked really annoyed. but since he wasn’t working here and there was no one else around, you guessed you could take photos after all. there was no one to tell you off anyways. however, the stranger was still standing there, looking at you in what seemed like interest. you felt awkward just continuing your endeavors without acknowledging him, so you asked: “do you live here? i’m just visiting, so i’m not very familiar with the city.”

“you could say that,” the stranger simply replied. when he didn’t say anything else, you decided that it probably was okay if you just continued taking photos without acknowledging him. though it did make you queasy, knowing that he was just watching you. didn’t he have anything else to do? a few minutes passed. he sighed and walked over, pointing at your camera. “what are you doing?” you were surprised at how straightforward he was, not expecting to engage in a conversation with you. maybe people in this city were just extra talkative and you’d have to get used to it. your grandparents never told you about this though. 

“ah i’m visiting my grandparents here and i thought i’d document my stay here. so i can look at these photos whenever i want and just have the memories on photo,” you explained and rummaged in your bag to show him the polaroids you took earlier. “i particularly like polaroids because you can’t edit or change them… whatever moment you capture, it’s true to what you saw. there’s no need to make photos beautiful when they hold a special place in your heart and are tied to a specific memory.”

the stranger nodded, pointing to your polaroid camera. “and you take them with this device?” his choice of words startled you a little, he didn’t seem to be familiar with this type of camera which you found odd. everyone knew what these were nowadays, almost everyone owned them. but you didn’t want to judge him or make him feel stupid though, patiently explaining to him how the cameras worked and where he could purchase them. he seemed to be really interested, closely inspecting the camera, turning it around and fumbling with the buttons. only after you finished rambling, you realize how much time had passed - it was almost dark now and your grandparents were probably worried sick. your phone was turned off the entire time and you forgot to call them. 

“excuse me, i really need to call my grandparents!” you looked at him apologetically, leaving him with your photos and camera. normally, you would be very wary; normally, you wouldn’t even show anyone your photos, rather keeping them to yourself because they were your precious memories. but something about him resonated with you, he seemed familiar and yet he didn’t.

you found a spot a few meters away from him calling your grandparents and profusely apologizing to them for not calling sooner. you promised them to wait at a popular and well known spot nearby so they could come to pick you up since it was already getting late, then hung up. to your relief, the stranger was still standing there, watching you intently. “thank you,” you smiled as he handed you your belongings. “my grandparents are picking me up soon, thank you for keeping me company. won’t you be going home soon?” 

suddenly his face expression turned rather… sad? somewhat melancholic and you feared you’d said something wrong until he shook his head. “i have to go somewhere later. let me walk you for a bit, it is dark after all.” you looked at him a little dumbfounded, not expecting him to suggest something like that.

“oh you don’t have to! i’ll totally be fine, i-” “i want to. let’s go,” he interrupted you, already beginning to move. you hastily followed him, clutching your bag in your hands. the entire walk was rather silent, none of you saying a word. it wasn’t a tense and uncomfortable silence though - you very much enjoyed his presence. it made you feel safe too, even though you’d told him earlier that you didn’t mind walking by yourself, it was comforting to know that he was by your side. you were in an unfamiliar city after all. hell you even got lost, so who were you kidding. you wondered who the stranger was, what his story was, what his personality was like. this was a one time meeting though, so you didn’t really have any hope of meeting him again. that was very unlikely.

“okay this is the spot. my grandparents are going to pick me up here, so it’s okay if you go,” you pointed at a café and gave him a reassuring smile. he didn’t look impressed. “o-oh wait, i need to thank you somehow.” you held a finger up to signal him to wait for a bit and fished out a polaroid you’d taken earlier. it was a simple shot, only the temple, bits of the trees and the sunset in the background. but you thought it was appropriate, the two of you had shared this moment after all. 

“here, this is for you. it’s not a lot but i guess… it’s a really nice photo and maybe the start of your collection, if you decide to get a polaroid camera?” he took the photo from you, inspecting it before nodding and thanking you. he looked like he was about to say something else but was interrupted by some bright car lights and the sound of honks.

“ah, i have to go! it was nice meeting you,” you bid farewell to him and waved, running towards the car. sukuna watched your figure retreat, arms dropping to his sides.

006.

it was so cold, so incredibly cold. you really hated disliked these long winters, the sky was constantly dull and grey, the days were short and you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. it made you feel sluggish and unmotivated, you were just hoping that spring was coming earlier this year. you yearned for sunshine and warmth, to be able to go outside without freezing and just spend more time outside. regardless, you held onto your daily walks because they gave you some peace of mind in your hectic life. you were approaching the last year of your studies and the amount of exams, assignments and your looming thesis were just suffocating you. but soon, soon you were done and could finally take a breather, until then, the only moments of relaxation you’d have were your walks.

despite the cold, there were a lot of people near the park; children who were engaging in snowball fights, elderly who were walking their dogs and some joggers too. your eyes were wandering around, watching all the busy people around. too absorbed in your task, you didn’t notice the man in front of you until you bumped into him. you quickly removed your earbuds and apologized to him, about to continue walking when he suddenly grabbed your arm, holding you back. you were confused, did you maybe accidently hurt him when you bumped into him? you looked him up and down to make sure that he was okay; there really wasn’t anything wrong. he let go of your arm. “is something wrong?” you asked concerned and turned to him. 

“y/n?” 

you froze at the mention of your name. how did he know you?

“who are you? i’ve never met you before.”

in all your past lifetimes, you’d taught him how to be human again, how there was value and joy in even the littlest of things. with each iteration of your existence, sukuna thinks that he’s learned to love you more than the last. when he sees how at ease you are spending time with him, a curse that is feared by everyone, he contemplates confessing to you. but something holds him back, it’s the fear; the fear that you won’t return his feelings. he’s seen you be with someone else, see you fall in love countless of times. he yearns for it to be him, hoping that you do choose him, love him. for thousands of years, he’s spent his time finding you - your reincarnations don’t recognize him and it pains him to get to know you anew each time but nothing pains him as much as his existence. he wants to hold you, be yours, grow old with you.

for the first time in thousands of years, sukuna wishes to be human again.

ps.: i am so sorry if i hurt your heart there omg

[everlasting-stories]

To Feel Again [M]

Genre: light angst, romance

Warnings[!]: smut, penetration, creampie, unprotected sex, mentions of adult toys

Pairing: Doyoung x Reader

Words: 4.4k / One-shot

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Valentine's Day: the day of roses and hearts and chocolates and romantic candlelit dinners. When people proposed marriage and professed undying love.

You sighed, staring unseeing into your bowl of cornflakes as they succumbed to their milky grave and turned to soggy goop. Funny how a date on a calendar could open the pit of despair that lived somewhere near your stomach. It had to be near your stomach. You've been reasonably hungry until you've noticed the date and the pit opened. Your hunger had fallen into it, and the memories and pain rose out of it.

There was a time when this day had been wonderful. Life had been wonderful, you didn't need Valentine's Day, but you celebrated it with reverence and, sometimes, wild abandon.

You knew what love was, what it felt like to love a man and how it felt to lose him. You remembered what he'd said that last morning, how he'd kissed you; how the sun had lit his face as he smiled, promising he'd be back. You also remembered the police, how the sun seemed to dim as they told you the phrases out of courtesy. They were sorry for your loss. They will let you know of details as soon as the investigation on the accident comes to an end.

Since that time, Valentine's Day had passed unheralded, unheeded and uncelebrated. You knew you were a joke of the office - entering thirties soon and never been fucked, that's what they said. The borning woman who had no idea what fun was, wouldn't have known what to do with a man if by some miracle you did catch the attention of one. They were wrong, of course. Not that it was any of their business; it certainly didn't affect your ability to do your job.

If you chose to act and dress your age and spend your evenings quietly, rather than as mutton dressed as lamb in some gaudy nightclub, surely that was your right?

You sighed again, getting up from the table, taking your cereal bowl and dumping the gloop down the sink. A bleak day of petty jibes and pitying looks lay ahead. At least you knew what to expect this year.

Last year had been your first Valentine's Day with this particular company and, therefore, your first with this particular bunch of malicious people - your fellow employees. As front counter receptionist, you were the company's first "public face" and some of your co-workers had decided it didn't look good if that face wasn't surrounded by gifts from admirers on this day.

When the first bunch of anonymous flowers had arrived, you've been flustered, flattered and flabbergasted that anyone would send you flowers. You had hurriedly cleared a space on the counter for them, proudly displaying them, fussing with them to show them off at their best and make them visible from the greatest distance. You kept touching them, moving them slightly, reaffirming they were really there. Your heart sang; someone had noticed you. Maybe he was too shy to reveal himself; maybe he was married and couldn't: your mind was alive with questions, trying to solve the mystery of their origin. You were all in all happy.

Then a large box of chocolates arrived, closely followed by more flowers. By lunchtime, these had been joined by a little plush cherub, two red plush love hearts, a pair of earrings, three more bunches of flowers, four assorted boxes of chocolates and a large jar of candy hearts. They all carried the same anonymous message. And you knew then and there what is the catch behind this.

By the end of the day there were nine flower arrangements, ten boxes of chocolates, three cherubs, the two red love hearts, three teddy bears, two jars of candy, the earrings and a gift box containing four pairs of edible undies. Just before the close of business the final humiliation came - a fantastically wrapped see through box containing an inflatable male doll with vibrating tongue, a massive purple vibrating dildo and a copy of the Sex for The Beginners book.

You had to stay at your post until the last visitor or client left. But the rest of the staff was already heading out of the building. Some boggled at your desk, some snickered, a couple made loud crass comments and a very few had appeared horrified at the pile of stuff surrounding yourself. The building had almost emptied before that last visitor departed. You were sure that, too, was a set-up, particularly when you saw it was the client that had been visiting quite frequently lately.

Myungsoo ushered the man to the street and turned back to you as you gathered your coat and handbag, ready to escape.

"Gee, you're a popular girl. Who would have thought?" He reached your counter and began collecting up the flowers, grinning madly. "Let me help you with all that."

Before you could say a word, he bundled all the flowers, chocolates and assorted other items into your arms. You could barely see where you were going. Myungsoo put his arm around your back and shepherded you out the door, peeking at the vibrator in its transparent box. "There you go, sweetheart. Looks like you're definitely gonna get some action tonight." He turned smartly away, laughing as he rapidly put distance between the two of you.

You obviously had thrown the whole lot in the nearest dumpster and hurried to the relative sanctuary of your car before breaking down and sobbing, burying your head in your hands to hide from prying eyes of curious passer-bys.

Standing at your kitchen sink, you wondered what they'd pull this year. It couldn't be worse, could it? You sighed again and then abruptly shook your head, standing straighter. To hell with it - you were not going to let them get to you today.

It had already begun when you arrived. A bouquet of irises sat at the front of the counter. You were tempted to throw them straight in the garbage, but decided they were too pretty, too unusual. So they stayed. Curiosity got the better of you as you looked at the card, expecting it to say something sappy and insincere, as last year's cards had.

"You are worth far more than they will ever realise. Hear the flowers."

You pondered the card. Hear the flowers?

What on earth did that mean? You raised an eyebrow as you settled into your post: at least it seemed this year would be more intriguing than last. During quiet moments throughout the morning, you'd pick up the card, reread the cryptic message and study the beautiful bouquet, but its secret was never revealed.

No gifts arrived for you, no more flowers. You were relieved, but it only served to deepen the mystery of the flowers. As your lunch hour approached, other staff began filtering out of their offices to take a break. They all noticed the irises. Several of the women stopped and commented on their beauty. No one laughed.

As always, you left the building for lunch. You would usually grab a sandwich somewhere and do a bit of window shopping. Anything to get away for an hour - if you stayed in the office, someone always "needed" you for something.

When you returned, a neatly typed page was on your desk: "The meaning of flowers". One line was highlighted in blue: "Iris: Have Faith. Don't Give Up On Hope." A single purple violet was pinned to the page. You scanned the page to find "Violet (Purple): You occupy my thoughts". You put the page to one side, but still in view, unsure whether to laugh at it and throw it along with the flowers away before the punch line or wait it out. This was definitely a far more sophisticated assault than last year.

Throughout the afternoon a steady procession of couriers arrived, carrying flowers and gifts. You nervously watched each one approach your counter, only to breathe a sigh of relief as the teddy bears and hearts, the chocolates and flowers were all destined for other souls.

At 4:30PM a man approached your station: nothing unusual in that; everyone that came to see someone had to check in with you. What was unusual was that he actually saw you as a fellow human, not a robot programmed to take names and give directions. He smiled at you, a real smile that reached his eyes and warmed your heart. Something familiar in his eyes...

"Good afternoon. My name is Kim Doyoung. I have an appointment to speak to Choi Myungsoo. Would you mind letting him know I am here, please?"

Quickly, you dialled Myungsoo's extension, giving him the information. Myungsoo, as usual was brusque to the point of rude, telling you to "entertain the idiot 'till I'm ready for him - he's not supposed to be here for another 15 minutes".

You were tempted to tell the polite gentleman exactly what Myungsoo had said, but instead used your tact and diplomacy (that was why you were hired after all) to tell him that "Mr. Choi is a little delayed. He will be available in a few minutes."

With that being said, you offered him a seat.

Again he smiled. "Those are beautiful flowers," he said, nodding towards the iris bouquet. "A discerning choice for a lovely lady."

You lowered your eyes, feeling the heat rise in your face, knowing you were blushing.

His voice softened and became much quieter. "You don't remember me, do you?" Your eyes flew to his face, confused. Were you supposed to know this charming man?

"I had an appointment here at the same time, on this day last year. I was waiting outside for a taxi when you left. That was uncalled for, the whole situation that happened - mean and heartless and exactly what I would expect of Myungsoo and his friends. I deal with them only because I must. They offer a service unparalleled in this town."

He leaned across the counter, his voice so low only you could hear. "How they manage it, I cannot tell. They are pig swill and don't know a pearl when confronted with one." Doyoung paused, seeming to weigh up his next statement, then leaned closer to you. "Did you hear the flowers?"

Your eyes again flew to his face, your mouth falling open a little. "You sent them?"

"I did. And the violet. I had hoped to counter whatever crass display they had planned this year. Would you possibly consider spending the evening with me?" His face was eager, hopeful. "A nice dinner?"

You were stunned, flattered, amazed - but also wary. This was Myungsoo's client. He could easily have been put up to this. You studied his face closely, seeking any hint of a lurking cad. His face fell. "But, of course, you have other plans. I apologise for embarrassing you." He moved away and sat, abashed, on one of the hideous lounge chairs to await his appointment.

You studied this man. He didn't seem to fit the mould of Myungsoo's usual cohorts. For one thing he was unerringly polite. He was also good looking, very, very good looking, without being outstanding or flashy. He was also much closer to your age than Myungsoo's and had an air of quiet confidence, like he had nothing to prove to anyone and nothing to fear from them either. You looked at the flowers. Could Myungsoo have possibly thought of something this elegant? You didn't think so. You took a deep breath: to hell with it.

"Mr. Kim?" He looked up. "What time would you like to pick me up?"

In your bedroom, staring at the clothes hanging limply in your closet, the cool bravado that had claimed you as you agreed to the date vanished. In its place indecision, doubt and outright terror took hold. It seemed painfully obvious to you now, away from the office and that lovely man, that it was all another twisted joke, something for the office beautiful people to laugh at during tomorrow's coffee breaks. Why did you say yes? Your wardrobe was woefully inadequate. It was years since you'd been out with a man; you were bound to make a fool of yourself, even if it wasn't a set-up.

At that thought your heart jumped and lurched. The possibility that Mr. Kim - no, Doyoung; this was a date not a business appointment - was sincere in his wish to take you out only heightened your confusion and indecision.

Finally, in desperation and the realisation that if you didn't decide soon, you'd still be in your underwear when he arrived; you chose a chanel-knee length cremé skirt and baby pink cashmere sweater, topped off with knee length boots. The heels were quite high, but you remembered him being tall, so that wouldn't be an issue, as long as you didn't fall over in them.

You were saved from an overcritical examination in the mirror. You had just completed applying your makeup when Doyoung arrived. You grabbed your coat and quickly walked out the door, before you had time to rethink and back out.

"You look lovely," Doyoung said, smiling down at you. Feeling the heat creeping up your cheeks; you weren't used to receiving compliments, particularly from someone like him. You mumbled a shy thanks as he helped you put on your coat and led you to his car.

Sitting in the car as he drove, you were able to study the mysterious man that is Kim Doyoung. He was extremely handsome, not in the classical sense, but he certainly was far from a plain looking man - a man at peace with himself. He knew who he was and was content with that; he knew what he wanted and how to get it; and what was beyond his capabilities and lost no sleep over it. He obviously managed quite well; his car was expensive but not too flashy.

The restaurant he took you too was a quiet small place, away from the standard eat-and-entertain strip. It was intimate without claustrophobia; the decor was elegant without being overbearing; the lighting low but not dim; the service attentive without being intrusive. The food you could not describe - later, you barely remembered what you had eaten beyond it being "nice" - your attention was totally taken by Doyoung.

He was gallant and charming; helping you with your coat and holding your chair for you at the intimate table for two tucked away in a corner. Doyoung quietly suggested items on the menu he thought you might like. It was obvious he'd been here before, was a regular, but usually without company. His choice of wine was perfect to go with the excellent food as you enjoyed each other's company.

And you talked.

You learned a lot about him. Doyoung was 34, older than you had thought; he had been engaged, but his fiancé decided to break off the engagement for simply falling out of love. He had had a series of short term relationships that had petered out and, for the past several years, had lived a solitary life, rarely going out with women. He didn't work as such; his livelihood came from investments, which explained him being a client of the company you worked in. Myungsoo may be a jerk, but he was the one of the best investment brokers around.

He had been attracted to you the first time he met you, a year ago, but had been intimidated by the evidence of all your admirers. When he realised it was all a cruel joke played by his adviser and the other brokers, he was mortified. He had seriously considered changing brokers, going to another organisation but that would have meant he had no chance of meeting you again. So he stayed. He had been in your office on three occasions since then, and each time had seen your quiet, unflappable charm and how your talent and lovely nature were either ignored or taken for granted by those around you. He was determined to gain your attention, but without the office cricus freaks being able to use it against you, hence the mystery flower delivery this morning.

You found yourself opening up to Doyoung. He seemed sincerely interested in hearing what you had to say, hanging on your every word. It was a liberating and wonderfully powerful feeling. You weren't used to being the centre of anyone's attention. You told him of your pride at the independence since the loss of your lover, all those years ago. You were happy in your little home, content with your work, rarely coming to the attention of the office jokers.

It was over coffee that you admitted to Doyoung something you haven't admitted to yourself: your life was lonely and you missed the affection of another person. You missed the companionship of sharing your life with someone.

Immediately after the words had left your lips you regretted them. You have given away too much of yourself, been too forward. You lowered your eyes, not wanting to see the closed expression you knew would be on his face, so you didn't see the fleeting look of pain, quickly followed by understanding and hope.

However, you did feel his hand close over yours and squeeze lightly. You looked up into a face of gentle eyes and soft smile. "Would you like to take a walk with me," he said quietly. "I think it's time we leave - they want to close the restaurant anyway."

You looked around yourself noticing that you two were the only people other than staff left in the restaurant, and many of the lights were dimmed. You gasped in wonder - you had no idea you've been there so long. "Yes, a walk would be lovely."

Doyoung ushered you along the street and across a small, neat park to a promenade along the riverbank. It was enough lit to feel safe and you walked along arm in arm. You felt his arm snake around your waist hugging you closer to him, and you snuggled against him, your arm around his back. The moon was up, the stars were out and the night was peaceful and clear.

Your heart was singing and your eyes sparkled. You've been right to take this gamble. He was sincere, and it was wonderful. But the night was late, and it was rather cold.

You shivered. Doyoung felt it immediately and turned off the promenade proposing to head back toward the street where he had left the car. "I'd better take you home. It wouldn't be much of a date if you ended up ill."

At your door, Doyoung formally thanked you for a lovely evening and asked if he could see you again. You smiled and surprised yourself only a little by reaching up and kissing him lightly on the lips before saying: "Would you like to come in for a nightcap?"

Doyoung blinked, looking mildly bemused for a moment before studying your face. "Are you sure?"

Oh, most definitely, you were sure. You have thought of nothing else since you two have left the river. He looked right, he felt right, and he smelt right. You wanted him but was sure he'd never make a move. He was too much of a gentleman to ever force the issue.

You took his hand and led him into your home, kicking the door closed with your foot, shutting out the rest of the world with its mean people and ugly attitudes. You reached up to kiss him again. This time he lowered his head to yours, cradling your face in his hands as he returned the kiss. The lips met and parted, allowing the tongues to join and caress each other. His hands moved down from your face to caress your body, yours moving up from his hips. Both of you parted, searching each other's faces for confirmation of your desires.

"I think we're on the same page," you said. "Why don't you leave your coat on the couch? Do you want the nightcap now, or after the tour?"

"I'll put a hold on the nightcap," Doyoung answered, reading the desire in your eyes and knowing it was mirrored in his while stripping off the coat.

"Right."

You took his hand again. "This is the lounge. There," you pointed to the right, "is the kitchen and dining room. This way," pulling him down the hall, "is the second bedroom, the bathroom and," dragging him through a doorway, "here is the main bedroom."

"Very nice," he said, looking around, trying not to focus on the bed.

Suddenly shy, you both looked at anything but each other, awkward in a lack of intimate knowledge of each other. Doyoung tentatively reached out a hand to you, aiming to caress your breast, veering off at the last moment to your shoulder, but still lightly brushing your breast with his fingertips. Your gasped breath emboldened him and he reached his other hand, caressing your other breast lightly as you shivered under his touch and sighed.

Your own hands went to his chest, running down the front of his shirt and back up, then beginning to undo the buttons, pulling the shirt from his trousers and teasing his bare skin with your fingers.

Doyoung pulled his shirt off and then raised the sweater over your head and off the arms, moving in to kiss you as his hands went around your back to undo the clasps of a bra and returned to cup your breasts. The sensation on your breasts as he caressed and pinched the nipples sent a sharp message straight between your legs. You could feel yourself becoming moist and shuddered under his touch; breath becoming uneven.

Pushing him away you removed the skirt, letting it pool at your feet while looking into his eyes. Doyoung took the hint and began unbuckling his belt, then grinned foolishly and sat beside you to take off his socks, sneaking kisses of your neck and shoulders as he did so. You both stood again, slightly apart. He dropped his trousers and you could see his briefs pushed out of shape by his erection, the fabric straining.

Doyoung stepped up, taking you in his arms, kissing down your neck and across the collarbone, his hands lowering to your hips, sliding under the elastic and beginning to tug your panties down. Your own hands flew to the top of his briefs. Together, you pulled down the underwear, stepping out of them and standing naked before each other. Again Doyoung moved first, holding you and gently pushing backwards onto the bed, following after you onto it.

He ran one hand down the body of yours, teasing and tickling the beginning of your womanhood and beyond, teasing you with his fingers, tickling across your mound and easing around your damp centre. You moaned as he explored, your hips twisting and twitching. It had been so long since another man had touched you there. It felt amazing, wonderful, but achingly short of what you needed. You could feel his hardness against your thigh. Reaching down, you took his cock into your hand. It was hot, hard and pulsed under your touch. Doyoung groaned and his hips jerked convulsively. You kissed him hard and whispered fiercely, "Please, it's been too long. I need you, now."

"For me too, far too long," Doyoung gasped back, rolling you onto your back and positioning himself before gently splitting your lips and sliding steadily but firmly into you. Your moans were prominent in the air as he stretched and filled you right, not stopping his steady thrust until he was wholly inside you, your warm walls gripping him tightly. Your eyes met and locked as you lay still, immersed in the feeling of each other's body.

Being warm, wet and a safe haven, you were engulfing his cock. Doyoung was filling you with his hard heat, owning your body completely. You fit each other perfectly; you could see it in each other's eyes. You belonged together.

As great as this feeling was, you needed more. Doyoung slowly withdrew, till only the very tip split you. Both groaning as he pushed back in, again slowly feeling each other with delectable inch. Slowly in and out, in and out, revelling in the feeling of each other's bodies, gradually building up speed as your need increased.

You could feel the fire building, the tension increasing as sensation on sensation smashed into you with each thrust, your body twitching, your hips writhing. Still it built; higher, tighter, fiercer. Your entire being was wrapped around Doyoung's cock as it pumped in and out of you. You could hear him grunting with each thrust, feel his body trembling as he got closer to his climax. His speed increased and you breath got caught in your throat, your back arched, legs went stiff as you began to twitch when the white light exploded through you, spreading warmth and scattering your senses.

You felt, from far away but deep within you, Doyoung losing his rhythm before coming, pumping wildly into you, grunting and thrusting hard one last time as he shot deep inside you feeling spent but overly fulfilled.

Your hand was making lazy circles on Doyoung's chest as you lay, curled against his side with a head on his shoulder. You weren't sure how you've come to be in this position, but it felt so right and he smelled so good.

You were at peace while drifting off to sleep.

Waking up without feeling body by your side, you immediately felt the loss. Doyoung wasn't there. Your heart dropped, the pit near your stomach threatened to open and engulf it. Sensing the tears coming up, you accidentally feel something on your side with a hand.

He wasn't there. But there was a note.

"I am so sorry. I hate to leave you, knowing you will wake alone. There is something I must do."

You had just finished reading when the phone rang, disturbing your thoughts. Grudgingly, you moved to answer it. "Hello."

"Wish I was still beside you."

Your heart flipped again. The pit dissolved so you could breathe again before whispering, "Doyoung."

"Y/N. Tell me, what are you planning for breakfast?"

"Uhm. Coffee? Maybe some toast. Why?"

"Don't move. I'm on my way. With breakfast. And it's better than toast."

You lay back in bed, listening to the dial tone after he hung up. Surprised, you smile softly. You must remember to thank Myungsoo for introducing them.

If this is how you will feel loved and feel free to love again, you have no complaints.

Your new chapter is about to begin and hopefully, it will last for a very long time with a man named Kim Doyoung.

[anemo-writes]

hello travelers! again, thank you for putting up with my inactivity, it’s been hard to write lately haha. anyways, i thought this would be something fun to post and for everyone to enjoy, whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day or not :) (note: this will probably be more fanon than canon so please bear with me, i’ll make it as canon as it can be :’) i also kept this pretty short, so hopefully that’s okay too,, and sorry for this being late haha—i wrote this very late at night so don’t mind any typos you find please)

much love,

~ anemo-chan <3

(The Playable) Genshin Impact Characters on Valentine’s Day (Romantically)

super romantic; gifts you a bouquet of flowers and takes you out to eat at a fancy restaurant/cooks for you.

Diluc

He is nervous. He’s never paid close attention to the countless amount of people who have lined outside the tavern to ask him to be their Valentine, only to be rejected. There was absolutely no way that he would turn to Kaeya for advice, so unfortunately this was something he would have to figure out for himself. He figures that it wouldn’t hurt to go traditional, so that’s what he does; he buys a large bouquet of roses (which he had to get from Donna, seeing that at the hours that he ended work were very late and Flora’s shop was not open at the time—yeah, that was not fun) and presents himself outside your doorway, to which he invites you to join him for a late dinner—which he makes!

Lisa

She leaves a letter on top of your nightstand, paired along with a singular rose. The letter states for you to meet her outside of Good Hunter, where you find her sitting at a table with a candle dimly-lighting up the surroundings. She greets you with a warm smile, gesturing for you to sit down—the two of you enjoy a candle-lit dinner as well as bolognese she specially requested for Sara to make for the two of you to enjoy together why does this remind me so much of Lady and the Tramp,,

Tartaglia

Oh boy. It’s always a fun time spending a holiday with him, seeing that it could go two ways; one, he would be too busy to celebrate it with you on the day of, and he would take you out the day after, or two—have a store’s entire line of merchandise presented to you outside your doorstep, in which a very, very smiley Tartaglia hidden within the pile (after all, he was the best present!) After you’re done moving all of the gifts into your house (it took up the space of your entire living room), he tells you to cover your eyes and follow him. He takes you to one of the most well-known restaurants in Liyue (which currently doesn’t have a name because it is very late here!), and insists that you order whatever you want, and however much you want.

Zhongli

Over the years, he’s witnessed many, many couples celebrate this holiday and every year he’s wished to do the same. He finds the perfect opportunity to do so when Valentine’s Day is around the corner, and boy does he plan it out for the two of you. He’s even made sure to have his wallet on him at all times—it would be extremely rude for you to have to pay if he happened to forget his wallet. He makes sure to stop by to pick up a bouquet of flowers, as well as a bottle of perfume (not in a bad way, just to clarify) from Ying’er’s shop that he recalled you liked. He makes sure to pick you up early from your work place to make sure you made it to your appointment on time; after all, being late to an appointment was similar to breaking a contract, no?

surprises you with homemade sweets.

Fischl

Oh, she is so nervous—of course, she doesn’t show this. The entire week, she spent researching recipes to create a special batch of chocolate-dipped strawberries just for you—she even sent Oz to the nearby farms to “borrow” the freshest strawberries for the treat (the farmers were too scared to confront the talking bird who “borrowed” their strawberries, so luckily they got away with it). She dips them in a purple-colored chocolate (because what other color would she use, really?) and drizzles on a dark-chocolate syrup to top it off. She’s too shy to actually give it to you herself though, so she has Oz drop it off for her.

Ganyu

Even though she’s quite busy, she’s somehow found time to whip up a special batch of chocolate just for you! She shapes them into Glaze Lilies (which she found quite hard, which is why there are so few of them) and presents them to you in a neatly-sealed box. She’s quite modest when your eyes widen and tell her it’s the best chocolate you have ever eaten, claiming that she only followed a recipe, when she really made it from scratch.

Keqing

Like Ganyu, you have no idea how she finds time to create a perfect array of chocolates, which she made herself! However, with her tightly-packed schedule, she has to drop it off at your house in advance, to which you accept happily. She tried to decorate them with designs of cartoon-versions of your faces, but they’re a bit...messy. Nonetheless, they’re tasty, and to her relief, you enjoy them.

Mona

Somehow, she’s managed to scrape up enough mora to buy you a necklace; yes, a necklace, and a real one at that—none of that fake, costume jewelry stuff! She even added a pendant shaped like star, just so you could be reminded of her whenever you fiddled with it or even glanced at it. She’s quite flustered when she gives it to you, ignoring the way you ask how she managed to save this much mora to be able to buy something like this, changing the subject on how you should never-ever take it off (because it looks great on you.)

Noelle

One word: pancakes. (Have you seen the ones she makes for her special dishes? They’re frigging amazing) As a dutiful maid should, she wakes up especially early to prepare a homemade breakfast just for you, to which she serves to you just as your wake up in bed. The fluffy stack of pancakes are decorated with fruits cut up in heart-shapes, as well the words, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/N”, written neatly with chocolate syrup—it’s quite a sight to see, to be honest, and utterly delicious. Lucky you!

Xiangling

The day before, she tells you to meet her at the restaurant around noon. When you arrive, the restaurant is adorned with Valentine decorations, as well as a terrifying amount of food; she insists that she only made it for you, so you better eat up! Before she can show you the other dishes, the restaurant is suddenly filled with a strong, bitter smell—something burning. With a yelp, she runs into the kitchen, coming out a few minutes later with a tray of half-scorched cupcakes, their Gouba-shapes adorned with...a lot of burn marks. Oh well, it’s the thought that counts, doesn’t it?

buys/makes a present for you.

Albedo

Without your knowledge, Albedo has been creating a collection of artworks throughout all the time you had spent together. The pieces include portraits of you, portraits of you and him (sucrose helped with this), as well as just random sketches of the little things that remind him of you, such as the bare, snowy-white terrain where the two of you first met, as well as its flora and fauna. If you request it, he’ll even make the painting come alive (literally), and the two of you run to Sucrose’s dwelling, who is very shocked to see the pair of you running from a Frosted Lawachurl when she peered out her window to see if she could pinpoint the sounds of distant screaming.

Amber

Is there anything better than a matching set of wind gliders? Not only that—they were homemade! She spent the last couple of weeks putting together a pair of gliders for the two of you, customizing them to your tastes (which she nailed!) She quite literally drags you to the nearest hill to test them out, and the two of you end up challenging each other on who can get back to the Knights of Farvonius Headquarters the fastest—spoiler alert: she did.

Barbara

Oh, she would make the cutest card for you—the envelope is decorated with cute stickers (some of them even had her face on it; there’s nothing like promoting merchandise, am i right? jkjks) She also pairs it off with a box of chocolates that she bought from Sara—however, what she didn’t know was that in the box was a special-edition spicy chocolate truffle. With your luck, that was the first one you chose—and boy, were you met a surprise (it was so bad that you were begging Barbara to use her Vision on you, which she refused of course). Fun times.

Chongyun

He’s real sweet. After his expeditions and commissions, he opens the freezer (yes he keeps them in there, don’t judge him) to an array of ice sculptures, shapes varying from flowers, hearts, and such—although it’s quite the simple gift, he’s put a lot of effort into them, even putting in the extra effort to cast a spell to make sure they would not melt; it’s all worth though, when he sees the absolutely giddy expression on your face, and the look of pure awe as you pick one up and study it closely, admiring all of the details and work that’s he put in.

Ningguang

She sends out informants to find out what you like, whether it be something that your gaze settled on for too long or something you’ve mentioned while talking to her—on the day of, you open your door to a mountain of gifts, with Ningguang herself peering out from behind it with a calm smile and a wave (which was the opposite of your reaction, because who has that much mora to purchase all of these gifts?!?)

Razor

He doesn’t have a clue on what the holiday until Lisa asks him if he’s planned something for the two of you during one of his lessons. When he shakes his head no, Lisa suggests that he make you something, to which he sets out on an adventure to do, looking for flowers and flower stems to weave into a pair of matching bracelets—they’re not the prettiest, but he is pretty proud of it; after all, it was his first time making something like that. He’s quite nervous to present it to you, afraid that you might not like it, but all feelings of worry melt away when you slide it on with a huge smile on your face, insisting that he wears his too.

Sucrose

At first, she considers gifting you a present that she created herself; of course, with her work being alchemy, she isn’t sure if that would be the safest option, despite being talented herself. And so, she resorts to buying a present for you—she is very picky with the present though, insisting that it should be perfect since she could not make one herself. She even consults Albedo when selecting some of the presents (he doesn’t help her unfortunately; he believes that she should figure it out herself haha). Like Razor, she’s quite nervous to give it to you, but lets out a huge sigh of relief as you thank her happily for the gift, wiping a bead of sweat from across her forehead (sucrose bby anything you give us would be perfect,,)

whisks you away somewhere sentimental, where the two of you can enjoy a special date.

Beidou

It’s ungodly early in the morning when Beidou presents herself in front of your doorstep, announcing that you’ll be joining her and the crew on a special ride. She tugs you along beside her until you reach the harbor, where you are met with the sight of her ship adorned with streamers and banners, varying between shades of pink and red. Onboard, there is a table filled with goodies the crew collected and made, and boy do they look delicious. The group sets out to sea, and you take your place next to the captain, who even lets you steer the boat (momentarily, at least.)

Bennett

He takes you to meet his dads; yes, yes—he knows that it’s not the most romantic thing to do on a day dedicated to lovers, but he figures it’s just as important. Besides, they’ve been asking about you for quite a while—they even set up a small party within the Adventurer’s Guild, with the help of Bennett, of course. You spend the day listening to their old adventuring stories, as well as bits from Bennett’s childhood (poor boy is flustered from all the information his dads are spilling, but he’s still happy either way; after all, he’s with the most important people to him.)

Kaeya

He quite literally kidnaps you; one second you’re walking in the streets of Mondstadt on your way to work when suddenly someone grabs you by the waist and pulls you into an alley way (that sounds so creepy but i swear he means it in a good way). He only chuckles and shields himself with his arms as you punch him lightly, retorting that he scared you. He doesn’t care that the two of you have an overwhelming amount of work to do—after all, Valentine’s Day only comes once a year, right? Surprisingly, he doesn’t take you the tavern, but instead...Dawn Winery! Diluc received quite the surprise when he is met with the two of you standing outside his gates, with Kaeya requesting a wine/grape juice taste-testing. Yeah...you guys didn’t get any of that, but you did manage to snag a couple of grapes on your way out! Good for you!

Venti

You wake up in your bed, opening your eyes to see a very-smiley Venti laying beside you, chin propped up against his hand as he watches you yawn sleepily as you force yourself out of bed. You’re then presented with a handpicked-bouquet of Ceceilias, the freshest of the bunch, if he may add. You barely have time to thank him before he hoists you up in his arms and out of your dwelling, gliding over the city of Mondstadt as he whisks you away to Starsnatch Cliff, where he’s prepared a special performance just for you (and no, you don’t need to pay.)

Xingqiu

While he’s not the most romantic, he does have a clue on what people look for on Valentine’s Day; after all, that’s what cheesy-romance novels were for, right? Unbeknownst to you, he takes you on a date very similar to the one the main characters in his favorite novels partook in—and you don’t find out until you catch him peeking into the pages while you weren’t (you were) looking. Again, it’s the thought that counts—

doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Jean

Sadly, she probably forgets about the holiday. She’s too busy holed-up in her office to notice the couples gathered up in the courtyard, sharing moments with their lover. It’s not until she walks out to take a breather that she notices the commotion—she immediately calls you over, apologizing frantically. Of course, to this you respond that’s it’s okay, but that you would much rather her take the rest of the day off to spend time together, to which she reluctantly agrees.

Xiao

“I do not have time to celebrate silly human traditions like that.” He would say as you bound up to him, exclaiming that it’s Valentine’s Day, the day where you can give sweets to your loved ones, and asking if he had someone special in mind to spend it with. He’s irked when your gaze falters and the grip on the object you’re hiding behind your back tightens—he only grows more irked as you mutter to yourself how you’ll give the chocolates you made to someone else. He scoffs loudly, avoiding your gaze as he lays out his hand in front of you to accept the chocolates (just because he doesn’t celebrate the holiday doesn’t mean he can’t get jealous!)

[amjustagirl]

Hogwarts AU (Haikyuu!!)

feat. Bokuto Koutaro

Previously:  Miya Atsumu. Miya Osamu. Kita Shinsuke. Kuroo Tetsuro. Tsukkishima Kei

Masterlist link here

Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff

Wordcount: 4.1k

Genre / Pairings: Fluff, Angst, Hogwarts AU, Bokuto / Reader

Summary: Tutoring Bokuto Kotaro in Charms seems like a waste of your time. But then you get to know the Hufflepuff seeker, and start looking forward to your tutoring sessions with him.  

A/N: Comments as always, are much welcomed. Feel free to shout at me anytime!

-----------------------------------

“I’m Bokuto!”

You stare coldly at the large hand shoved into your face. “Yes, I know. And so?” You arch an eyebrow and let your question linger awkwardly in the air. Surprisingly, even that fails to  dampen the brightness of the grin on his face, despite the fact that any other student would have turned tail and run at being on the receiving end of the resident Ice Queen of Slytherin’s glares. 

Your Charms professor coughs into his hand. “Ah. Yes. Bokuto requires some tutoring assistance, and I thought you’d be the right person to help out.”

You open your mouth in protest, but clamps it shut at the look of warning the professor shoots at you. It’s your bad luck you got caught sneaking books out of the restricted section of the library, it wasn’t as if the books you had your eye on contained dark magic in any case, they  just contained spells deemed too dangerous for idiots like the one standing before you to even attempt. And instead of detention for a month, your Charms Professor who’s always had a soft spot for you suggested you divert your free time to tutoring struggling students instead. 

“Fine”, you snap before turning to the boy. “You better not be as bad as Ushijima - Merlin only knows he was as dumb as a bag of bricks”. 

Bokuto agrees to meet you every Tuesday in an unused classroom for Charms tutoring. You do not care that he seems to wilt ever so slightly at the insults you lob at his Hufflepuff teammate - you have no time to suffer fools, after all. 

-----------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, while Bokuto doesn’t take everything as literally as Ushijima (it was a problem you faced when you tutored the stone faced boy, especially for a subject requiring as much personal flair as Charms), he struggles with the precise motions and pronunciation needed for Charm incantations, and you’re losing your patience with him after he messes up Aguamenti for the tenth time today. 

“You need to move your wand like a wave of water before pointing it sharply - like you’re shooting a jet of water into a glass”, you repeat yourself in exasperation. 

He tries his best, waving his wand exaggeratedly but forgets the emphasis on the second syllable, so his wand remains completely dry. 

You pinch the bridge of your nose and close your eyes. “Look - it’s really not that hard. If you remembered all the notes I gave you about this charm, you’d have gotten it by now. Merlin - what’s wrong with you dumb Quidditch Players?” 

“It’s not that easy to remember everything when you keep calling me dumb all the time”, Bokuto mutters, resentment colouring his tone. 

Your shock that Bokuto - the human embodiment of a sunbeam, seems to have abandoned his usual cheerfulness for an uncharacteristically stormy expression, quickly morphs into annoyance that he has the temerity to get short with you considering you’re the one that’s been forced to give up her Tuesday evenings in an attempt to get him to pass his Charms exams. 

“That’s because you ARE dumb”, you retort coolly. “Try casting the charm again”. 

He shocks you again by gathering his things and walking out of the classroom. 

“Where are you going?”, you call after him, confused. Even Ushijima put up with your insults and snide remarks for an entire term, but Bokuto doesn’t even look back.  

-----------------------------------------------

Bokuto doesn’t turn up next week either despite struggling in class with the very charm you spent hours trying to hammer into his head. Nor the week after that. Midterms come and go, and you overhear from a group of his twittering fangirls in the bathroom that his spot on the Quidditch team is on the line after failing his Charms exam as expected. 

Guilt gnaws at you. Strange, since you assumed your heart is practically a block of ice by now. 

You spend days trying to corner him to no avail. You always knew he had plenty of friends, but you didn’t realise how popular he actually was. He’s constantly surrounded by his teammates - or even other Quidditch players like Kuroo from Slytherin, or Hinata from Gryffindor, and his childhood best friend Akaashi follows him like a shadow despite being from Ravenclaw, not Hufflepuff. 

So you bide your time and wait until he finishes Quidditch practice, whispering from the shadows “Diffindo” to sever the straps of his bag. Your plan works - Bokuto cheerfully waves his teammates to go on without him, and the horde of hungry Hufflepuff Quidditch players head off to the Great Hall for dinner. 

“Why haven’t you come back for tutoring sessions?” You try to sharpen your question into an accusation, but your guilt makes you falter midway and you just sound bewildered instead. 

Your bewilderment is mirrored in Bokuto’s eyes. “Huh?” he frowns. “I thought you didn’t want to tutor me in the first place, so I asked my friends to help me out instead.”

You snort, tapping your foot. “Akaashi’s a year below, so I doubt he’s much help, and Kuroo’s much better at potions than at charms. And I hear you’re going to get kicked off the team if you don’t pull up your Charms grades in the remedial exams before Christmas.” 

The furrow between his brows deepens. “Why do you care if I’m failing my exams?” 

You’re not accustomed to dealing with someone so straightforward and genuine and innocent. You’re used to conniving serpents like Oikawa and Daishou who would have no hesitation hiding daggers in their sleeves just to get ahead, so the fact that his question is honest floods your belly with guilt.

“Because I feel bad for calling you dumb.” You decide to honour his honesty with a straight answer. “Do you still want me to tutor you if I promise to be nice?” 

Any shadow of lingering guilt is chased away by the sheer sunniness of his smile. 

-----------------------------------------------

The ice in your heart starts to thaw in the face of his exuberance and friendliness. 

“You’re much nicer than people say you are”, he tells you one day with blunt honesty. “Why don’t you have more friends?”

You shrug, accustomed to the title that your peers have chosen to label you with. The Ice Queen of Slytherin, your housemates whisper behind your back after you slash Miya Atsumu’s robes in your second year, leaving him standing in nothing but his underwear after he pulled your bra strap on a dare. 

Your mother and older sisters taught you self-defense charms even before you entered Hogwarts, and you have no qualms about using them, even against one of the most popular boys in your house. But it proves to be a miscalculation - one that leaves you with few friends other than those who’ve known you since your childhood. 

“I don’t need friends”, you say, words frigid. 

He grins at you, undeterred. “I’ll be your friend!” He declares, leaning forward, balancing his chair precariously on two legs. 

“I’d be happier if you pass your exam”, you tell him dismissively, though there’s an amused curl at the corner of your lips. 

True to his word, Bokuto drags Akaashi over to the Slytherin table during dinner the very next day. You startle as he plops into the empty seat across you, Akaashi giving you a slight nod of acknowledgement that’s also tinged with an unspoken ‘sorry you have to put up with my overly excitable best friend these days’ that you snort at. 

Kuroo rounds up the trio, and between his and Bokuto’s bickering over who’s getting the best pickings from the meat dishes on the table, and Akaashi’s admonishments not to cause a ruckus that fall on deaf ears, you’re so entertained that you laugh aloud, though you wince internally when half the Slytherin table snaps their heads around to stare at you, dumbfounded. 

Miya Osamu actually looks up from his katsudon to elbow his brother. Miya Atsumu chokes on his food. 

You assume it was just a one-off event, Bokuto just trying to repay you with his kindness, but to your surprise, he’s back at least twice a week, and soon your lonely corner at the Slytherin table turns into the most boisterous ones. His very presence draws the most random assortment of people into his sphere - soon you’re joined by Tsukkishima, the quiet, stone faced Ravenclaw, Hinata, Bokuto’s self appointed protege and burgeoning sun in his own right, Sawamura, the stoic, steady Hufflepuff Keeper, on top of the usual suspects like Kuroo and Akaashi. 

Not everyone is as amused by this turn of events. 

“What’s he doing at our table?” 

“I heard he’s being tutored by the Ice Queen herself - maybe that’s why he’s here.” 

“That makes sense. Heard he’s really dumb.” 

You stiffen as you hear your classmates snigger. Bokuto wilts, even the ridiculous mop of hair on his head starts to droop. Kuroo and Akaashi wear twin expressions of murderous intent on their face and both start to rise, insults on their tongues when you whip out your wand, freezing your offending classmate’s lips to his glass. 

“Call him dumb one more time and I’ll freeze your balls to the bench”, you smile sweetly, poison in your words. 

Kuroo guffaws as you turn back to your conversation with them with a saccharine “now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?” Akaashi snorts into his hands. 

Bokuto looks at you as if you’ve handed him the latest firebolt model on a gilded plate. You refuse to meet his eyes for the rest of the night. 

-----------------------------------------------

You find that he responds far better to praise than negative reinforcement, bouncing around the classroom with such childlike enthusiasm whenever he succeeds in casting another new charm that it makes your lips tilt upwards. The combination of his Hufflepuff diligence and your renewed patience makes his performance in charms skyrocket, and soon, he’s improved enough for you to teach him the more fiddly, advanced charms. 

‘You have to flick your wrist lightly’, you tell him for the fifth time this evening. Ascendio is a difficult charm to master, even by your own standards, your own wrist already sore from the various rounds of demonstration. 

He tries to mirror your action. It doesn’t work. 

‘Um.’ You rack your brains, thinking of something, anything that might help. 

Ah.

‘You’ve got to move your whole arm like it’s the wing of a snitch. You know – keep the arm and wrist action light, like the flutter of wings.’

He furls his brow, trying to mirror your action again. It doesn’t work. This time, he pouts. 

Impatient, you grab his hand. ‘Look!’ You slap at his arm to get him to loosen up – seriously, what do they feed these quidditch players, taut muscles tensing beneath your fingers as you try to puppet his arm into an approximation of the wrist movement. He gazes down at you with wide eyes as you press your form against him. 

‘I’ll show it to you again. Ascendio’, you call, and with a sharp flick of your wrist, your feet lift off the ground, your skirt fluttering in the air. Then with a smooth swish of your wand, you descend to the ground, cocking your head to your student. ‘Come on, Bokuto, you’ve got to master it by the end of the night.’

He tries again and again to no avail. Charms is a far more creative branch of magic than transfiguration or even potions – and what works for one might not work for another. You recalibrate, trying to relate what you’re teaching to his true love - Quidditch. 

‘Maybe you could imitate the movement of a snitch about to take off once the whistle blows?’ 

 ‘A snitch?’ he laughs boisterously at your suggestion. ‘I could do that.’ 

He screws up his eyes tightly, his entire body falling still before he raises his arm. With a flick and swish, a hooted “Ascendio”, Bokuto floats up into the air.

“I did it!” He pumps his fists in the air, grinning down at you. Then with a smooth finite incantatem, he descends back to the grimy classroom floor. 

“Well done!” You laugh aloud, clapping your hands, so drunk with elation at his success that you don’t notice the sudden softness in his golden eyes. 

-----------------------------------------------

“Waiting for Bokuto-san?” Akaashi asks. 

You hesitate for a beat, a pink tint to the apples of your cheeks before you nod without a word. 

“I’ll leave you two be then”, the Ravenclaw boy says, walking off with his hands tucked in his robes, a small smile flickering on his face. 

You exhale slowly through your nose. Maybe you should have left Akaashi to wait for Bokuto instead - they’re best friends, practically platonic soulmates you gather from Bokuto’s chatter as he walks you back to the Slytherin dungeons every Tuesday night, something he insists on despite your protests. You’re just his tutor - but here you are, hanging around outside the classroom where his remedial exam is being held, palms clammy in nervous anticipation. 

You tell yourself that you’re waiting for him because you can’t wait to know whether the tutoring sessions that take up your precious Tuesday evenings will end. You wonder if that means that he’ll stop coming over to hang out over dinner with you, the thought making your heart feel as if it’s frosted over again. 

“Hey, hey, hey!” His booming voice interrupts your reverie, and you glance up to see him burst out of the classroom, the joy on his face outshining even the sun. 

“You passed, I assume”, you snark, hands on hips, but he doesn’t even register your badly disguised coldness, grabbing by the waist to lift you easily into the air, spinning you in circles until you’re both giddy with delight. 

“I did, I did, thanks to you!” He crows, still clinging on to you like a lifeline. “They were so impressed when I cast Ascendio, and I was like swish, and they were like aughhh wahhhhh - and it was so awesome!” 

“I’m glad my effort paid off then, dummy”, you tease - seriously, it would make your housemates’ jaws drop if they caught you giggling, let alone being held aloft in Bokuto’s arms, but you’re just so happy for him that you don’t order him to put you down. 

He stills suddenly, and you’re worried that he’s taken offense at the affectionate nickname until you notice his eyes are trained at the arch above you and oh - 

Mistletoe. 

It’s Christmas, and the house elves have hung enchanted sprigs of mistletoe around the castle on the orders of the mischievous headmaster to prank unsuspecting students. Any student trapped under enchanted mistletoe may only be released upon giving or receiving a kiss, and you’re about to press a chaste kiss to Bokuto’s nose when you glance back at him and notice his eyes are molten gold, laden with desire. 

“Bokuto - “ you begin, but you’re promptly cut off by the searing brand of his lips against yours, gasping as he backs you against the wall, his mouth plundering yours. You should protest, but any sentient thought you might have is lost in your newly awakened hunger for him, this beautiful, sweet boy with golden eyes and silver hair who’s kissing you. 

“I like you,” he says breathlessly when you finally push him away in an effort to pull air into your deprived lungs. “Go out with me - please?” he adds, almost as an afterthought, brushing his thumb against your cheek with a gentleness that belies his large frame crowding you against the wall. 

You want to, oh Merlin - you want to indulge in the warmth that’s starting to sprout in the previously frozen tundra of your heart but you have to recognise that he’s Bokuto Koutaro, Quidditch player extraordinaire bound for the professional leagues, so popular that he already has a fanclub in school. 

And you - you were a social pariah before you met him, you would ruin his reputation if anyone finds out that you’re in a relationship with him, not to mention you’ve been accused of being cold and distant and harsh - all characteristics that disqualify you from being a good match for him. 

“I can’t.” You shake your head, keeping him an arm’s length distance from you, because if he comes any closer, you might lose your resolve. “We wouldn’t work out at all”.

The golden light dims in his eyes, and his arms fall limply to his side.  “Is it because I’m dumb?” He asks, his voice heartbreakingly quiet. 

“No!” You cry, taking a step towards him. “That’s not it at all!” 

He frowns, confused. “Then why don’t you wanna go out with me? Don’t you like me?” 

“I do”, you admit, hating yourself for having to extinguish the spark of hope in his eyes. “But we won’t work out -” 

“Why’re you so sure of that?” He takes a step forward, reaching towards you. You knock his hands away and he stumbles back, stung. 

“Because I’m not good enough for you!” You shout, your words echoing against the castle walls. “Because I’m snarky and frigid and cold and rotten to the core - and you’re wonderful and funny and sweet and you deserve so much better than me”. 

Your words stun him into silence, and before he can work out a response, before your resolve starts to crumble, you take a large step away from him. With trembling hands, you reinforce the frozen fort in your heart, forcing yourself to beat a hasty retreat. 

“Besides”, you add, voice shaking. “What could I possibly offer you?” 

You disappear around the corner, coldly ignoring him even as he calls your name. 

-----------------------------------------------

“He’s wandering around the castle like a lovelorn ghost”, Akaashi says, dropping into the library seat across yours. 

“Explain why that makes it my business”, you hiss with the indignation of a cornered boggart with no means of escape. 

He just gives you a knowing look and you glance at the skulking librarian, wondering if you should risk a detention to drive your sharpest quill into the back of the Ravenclaw boy’s hand. 

“You know, it’s sad you think so little of Bokuto-san that you refuse to allow him to make choices for himself.” 

“What are you - “ 

“It’s true, isn’t it?” His gaze remains resolute, even as you snarl. “Why don’t you prove me wrong?” 

-----------------------------------------------

But you’re stubborn, so you avert your eyes whenever Bokuto comes into your line of sight, changing seats so you don’t sit anywhere near him in Charms, escaping whenever he tries to call your name. Your Tuesday tutoring sessions with him are a thing of the past. You even hear from Miya Osamu that Bokuto’s been trying and failing to bribe first years into letting him into the Slytherin Dungeons, though they’re all far too frightened of your reputation to even dream of crossing you, not even for the bait of a ride on his rare firebolt.

You’re lonely, but you refuse to admit it to yourself.   

You even refuse to watch the match between Hufflepuff and Slytherin despite it being touted as the social event of the year. Both team’s lineups are exceedingly impressive. Representing Hufflepuff there are powerful players like Bokuto, Ushijma, Azumane, even surly Kyoutani. Slytherin’s certainly no slouch either, with Oikawa, Suna, Daishou, Kuroo and the Miya twins. 

But you huddle in the library and ignore the screams and cheers of the whole school spectating the match until Akaashi skids into the library, distress clear on his face. 

“He’s injured”, he manages to spit out between heaving breaths, and you don’t even need to ask who he is, panic turning your ribs into kindling, burning a blaze through your chest as you sprint full speed towards the hospital wing. 

Quidditch is a horrendously dangerous sport - the Daily Prophet Sports Section is full of horrendous injuries like long lasting concussions and smashed bones that you’re already imagining the worst by the time you cross the threshold of the hospital wing. But Bokuto’s not even lying on the cot - he’s sitting upright, a confused yet hopeful expression on his face as you stare at him, dumbfounded. 

“A-Akaashi said you were injured”, you manage to stutter. 

Bokuto waves a bandaged finger at you. “Yep”, he says, taking wary steps one at a time towards you. “Suna got me good when I was about to catch the snitch”. 

“Oh”, you say lamely. “I see.” You’re thankful no one else is in the hospital wing to see your disgrace. “I’ll be going, then”. 

“Wait! Please don’t run away again”, he begs, taking advantage of your distracted state to catch your hand, his fingers circling your wrist easily. You tug against his grip, but it’s futile - you’ve left your wand in the library in your mad rush, and years of Quidditch training have sculpted Bokuto into the human embodiment of a brick wall.

“Let go of me!” You order him in the coldest tone you can muster. It’s not even icy - in fact, it’s probably lukewarm.  

He shakes his head, as stubborn as you. “Not until you hear me out”, he replies, pulling you out of the hospital wing into the nearest unused classroom. 

“Fine.” You cross your arms. “What do you want to say to me then?”

“Well for starters, you’re the most amazing, scary girl I know”, he says, grinning boyishly at you. “You’re so much smarter than me I don’t know how your head doesn’t go pfft cos it sure isn’t large enough to hold all your brains. And you’re nice - I don’t know why you pretend you’re not - Yachi said you cursed the boys who teased her ‘cos you found her in the bathroom crying, even though you literally met her for the first time - “ 

“Why are you telling me this?” You cut in, confused. 

“Cos you asked me what you could offer me” He answers simply, his fingers slotting in between yours. “The answer is you. I want you. I like you.” His grin softens into a bashful, goofy, adorable smile. “And I know I’m not smart like you or Akaashi, but I know enough to think you like me too.”  

Your mind is entreating you not to give in, reminding you that you’ll only drag him down with you but your selfish heart wins out. The weeks you’ve voluntarily isolated yourself from Bokuto have been cold and lonely, and the truth is you miss him - you miss the silly jokes he makes, the playful banter, his boundless confidence and kindness and friendliness. Maybe that makes you selfish, but you can’t deny it any longer, you want him for yourself.

So you reply with a shy smile of your own. “Maybe I do - like you, I mean”, you say, with an earnestness you must have learnt from him, tilting your face up towards him like a flower seeking the sun. 

His eyes grow wide with delight as you step into the circle of his arms, allowing him to draw you against his broad chest. 

“And to be honest, maybe I’m the fool for not letting myself admit that I’ve always liked you”. 

“Don’t call yourself tha - mmmph!” 

This time it’s your turn to interrupt him with a kiss, tipping his head down to slide your lips against his, the heat in his eyes and the sunshine in his smile that finally melting the last vestiges of ice in your heart and transforming you from a snow maiden into a girl made of flesh and bone. 

-----------------------------------------------

Akaashi convinces you to sneak into the holding area before the next match between Slytherin and Hufflepuff. 

You’re self conscious, constantly adjusting the scarf in Hufflepuff yellow and black looped around your throat, but that immediately dissolves when Bokuto whoops the minute he spots you, bounding over to sweep you into an embrace, demanding at least twenty kisses before he lets you go. 

You oblige, because when faced with Bokuto’s pleading eyes, you’re weak, soft.  

Then you realise why Akaashi was so insistent on you surprising Bokuto just before his big match. 

Miya Atsumu falls off his broom, slack jawed. Miya Osamu trips over him. Even Suna Rintarou looks at you and Bokuto with a modicum of fear and respect. 

“Get it together!” Kuroo snaps at his team, hands on hips. 

None of that registers with Bokuto, of course. The minute the whistle blows, he speeds off, leaving even Oikawa in the dust, and before a dazed Miya Atsumu even scores once against Daichi, the Hufflepuff keeper, Bokuto is already holding the golden snitch aloft in his hand. He proceeds to do laps of aerial cartwheels around the pitch before hovering in front of the stands where you sit, shamelessly blowing kisses towards you. 

You hide your burning face in your hands. Akaashi just sits beside you, intolerably smug. Bokuto, oblivious as ever, just whoops.

[tolerateit]

tw: fatphobia, unhealthy relationship with food.

hey meg, i have been a big fan of your blog for a while and i really love it and it just brings me comfort when i am feeling low. and rn i really feel shitte. you really don't have to reply to this anyway but i feel like i need to tell someone what happened to me today or i will literally burst.

i am a plus-sized woman so i pretty much get a lot of comments regarding my weight and health. i usually brush it off no matter how much it hurts me. however, today i had a dentist appointment and had to go by myself since my parents were working. it was my first time trying that dentist so i was pretty nervous. he checked my mouth and he found that my second molar has a serious cavity and it needs to be taken off completely. i was like okay fine but the dentist kept throwing comments like "oh if you don't eat all of this food, we wouldn't have to take it off" or when i told him that i am a med student he kept mocking me "how are you planning to be a doctor when you have a really bad diet?"

"believe me if you didn't eat so much you would have a perfect body," was his last straw and if only i was alone in the room I would have cried so much till my eyes hurt.

and it really made me wonder if food was really the reason for all my problems. acne, cavities, shortness of breath whenever i do literally anything, and extreme guilt after every meal. i think that i have the worst relationship with food and every time i try to modify it i just fail tremendously. i hate myself for the person i have become, and i hate what i have done to my body and i hate that i just can't stop eating when i am emotional.

you absolutely have nth to do with this, i understand that. but i just needed to get it off my chest or smth. and it would mean a lot to me if you just read it and never replied. ilysm and thank you. ♥️

~N

Hii N, I'm so sorry you experienced this today. The dentist was extremely rude and I hate that people like them actually exist and think it's okay to speak their minds, and I hate that they know just the right words to use to hurt people in the worst way possible. I can reassure you that food is not the source of the things you listed, almost everyone experiences at least a few bad bouts of acne during their lifetime and cavities could be caused due to multiple factors! I do understand that learning facts won't magically fix your relationship with food but I really encourage you to explore every positive aspect of eating and food and how important it is for you (which im sure you're well aware of as a med student) not just for survival and energy but also because. Food is good. It bonds people, it fosters love and it gives us pleasure. cooking food and savoring it is literally an act of reverence towards earth and humanity, you and i might be connected via our shared love for a particular dish/ingredient! Again, I know that fixing a complicated relationship with food is a LONG process but I really hope you take baby steps soon because you deserve it! You deserve respect and you deserve being looked at with awe and pride and love and you are entitled to enjoying every single thing you eat each day, you don't have to earn food or cut things down even if the urge is too strong. I love you, hope you feel better soon ❤️