#also al you always have some of the best poses ever

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Hello what if in sagau the reader thinking about the idea to make big shelter for tramuatised creatos of alternative tevyat this time reader one night drinking with other archons (of course zero alcohol for nahida only some strawberry jucie or something) and in drunked state reader comes to idea of creating shelter for creators of alternative trvyats the archons thinks that just reader begin drunk.....but no reader is serous and day after the archosn must help reader establish the shelter for goodly victims of the cults and like that zhongli venti ei nahida and foclaors relaized how some of thier alternative version are insane(yandere cult au) or morons( most impostors au)

Oohhh, interesting, interesting...I'll see what I can come up with!

So...You may have had a little too much to drink when you decided to hang out with the archons, and you spilled your idea of wanting to create a shelter for alternate teyvat universes where the Creator gets treated like absolute crap.

At first, the archons present (there's only 5) were shocked—who would dare try and hurt their own creator in their own universe? Then, right after you pass out from alcohol consumption, the archons convince themselves that it was just the drunk-ness speaking and not actually your idea.

Boy, were they wrong when you showed them your latest creation.

Venti, Zhongli, Raiden Ei, Nahida, and Furina Reacting to Reader's Shelter for Other Creators.

(Warning! Might Be OOC & Using the General Sagau!Imposter!AU Stuff For This!)

Venti

Man really thought you were joking. When you weren't, safe to say he wished he wasn't trying to get himself wasted during that time.

He was very cautious not to trouble the residents of the Shelter you created since yk PSTD and all that, even if it is annoying that you spend all your time there and he wants to barge in and drag you out to go and have a drink or two.

He isn't sure how he feels exactly, knowing what the other versions of you went through...so safe to say that he tries his best to keep his distance. He personally finds it awkward, and he tries to excuse himself from the situation whenever you try to invite him to greet the other versions of Creator.

"Ehe, I'm honored, Your Grace, really! Unfortunately, Sir Captain Kaeya promised me a drink today at Angel's Share in trade for my latest song. I can't miss out on that, you know?~" You can barely tell nothing's wrong with how well Venti hides his emotions and tactics on a day-to-day basis.

He may eventually get along with the residents of your Shelter area, but as it stands right now...he's keeping his distance for them to cope.

Zhongli

Same as Venti, he really was not expecting this. Sure, he had only a cup of alcohol unlike a certain drunkard bard he knows, and he had contemplated whether or not you were going to do it...but seeing things and speculating things were two different concepts.

He is polite to the residents that have the courage to come close to him, smiling and politely keeping a good distance while also making sure he is not seen as a threat.

He tries his best not to do anything suspicious—he always makes tea in front of their eyes, the tea leaves freshly picked, dried, and then boiled in hot water. The last thing he wants is for any versions of his creator to pose him as a threat in your world. You especially help reassure others at the Shelter that Zhongli's tea isn't poisoned either, so that's good.

"Fear not—Your Grace has been with me these past few weeks, inspecting my tea before I bring it before you." Zhongli sips his own cup, and you follow suit, grinning because you know for a fact it ain't poisoned one bit. "Please rest easy, knowing you will not be harmed here."

Overall, he becomes this sweet grandpa who tells stories while also respecting other people's boundaries. If ever there is a threat, he's already shielding everyone with his ever-famous geo shield, but that's the furthest he does as you insist you take care of the threats yourself. After all...most versions of the Creator have major PTSD from seeing Zhongli wield his polearm.

Raiden Ei

She feels incredibly guilty, knowing that other versions of her raised their blades against their version of the Almighty Creator than to protect.

She practically froze when you drunkenly mentioned about the other versions of you, and it got Ei thinking how bad it was. Though she was reassured by the other archons present, she now wishes she had followed her gut. She was not prepared to meet the Other Versions of the Creator.

Very similar to Venti, she tries to distance herself. Unlike Venti, however, Ei directly declines your invitations to meet any of the residents at the Creator Shelter, thinking her presence would only do more harm than good. In a sense, she goes back in this similar trance during the Inazuma Archon Quest. While she's present in Inazuma, she doesn't step a foot near the Creators' Shelter.

"I apologize, Your Grace....It is best I tend my duties here instead of meeting the Residents of your protective Shelter. If, however, they ever wish to visit Inazuma, I will ensure they meet no harm whatsoever—and do my duty that which the other versions of me failed to succeed in—to protect them with my blade." Every single time you try to invite Ei, she makes this very long speech similar to this. Ei feels awkward, to say the least. After all, she doesn't know how to deal with emotions...

Though it may be irritating that you can't get her to see them, you respect Ei's wish and openly invite others to Inazuma. Safe to say that Ei keeps her word and does indeed protect the other versions of the Creator with her Misou No Hitotachi.

Nahida

Nahida, Nahida...With the General Imposter!Sagau AU idea, Nahida is the only one of (when there was only 4) the archons available that would not attack you, but would rather help you instead. However, due to unpopular Sagau AU ideas, Nahida is also a part of the team that wants the Creator dead. So, in a sense, Nahida is a 50/50 amongst the residents, but it's safe to say that she's by far the archon most versions of the Creator would approach freely.

When she first heard you talk about the Creators' Shelter and their lives (albeit drunk), she found it both scary yet curious. However, since there was no proof of whether this was true or not, Nahida had turned a blind eye on the possibility for the time being, as it could have just been you drunkenly seeing and knowing things.

She was pretty much half-prepared to meet the Residents of the Creators' Shelter...but at least most of them like her? I mean, they allow her to hug her...that's a good start, right?

"It's okay, Your Grace's Guests! I promise, our world would never hurt you, no matter what!" She tries to use this opportunity to try and have the other versions of the Creator open up to other people—after all, their world of Teyvat was different, and vast! She didn't want them to miss it!

You know Nahida's Skill line, "Everyone Hold Hands!" ? Yeah, she wants everyone to get along and smile and be happy!

I am proud to say that Nahida keeps the Creators' Shelter up-to-date with the stuff happening in your Teyvat while also trying to coax them to meet other people. And she's doing a great job!

Furina

From the very little research I did, it seems that Fontaine's Stance in the Imposter!Sagau AU ideas is more sophisticated—but, if Reader turns out to be "guilty," then that could possibly mean public execution. In this case, with the knowledge gained, Furina's stance in this is the same as her personality likeability: 50/50.

When Furina first heard you talk about it, she thought that this entire thing you were going on about was interesting! She loves herself a good opera, and she would gladly play a role in your show! She just didn't like how it was versions of you from the Imposter!Sagau aus (she's the only one who'd probably remember what you called them and use the same terms), as it makes it hard to really prove to others that Fontaine was the best nation of Teyvat! Not that she wants to flex or anything (she wants to flex)

As it stands right now, Fontaine is pretty new. Most likely only a few recent versions of the Almighty Creator would have some form of PTSD with Fontaine, but most of general residents at the Creators' Shelter are from when Fontaine was yet to be released. This means that many people would cautiously approach Furina to ask what Fontaine would be like, while the very recent versions of you might be more frightened to go near her.

"Ah, yes! Fontaine has the best places to view the grandest and most extravagant buildings you will ever see! If ever you wish to visit, I shall personally escort you to the Nation of Hydro, and we may feast on both the justice we place put, and the opera we present to please! Now, I shall go and ask Your Grace if I may bring you Desserts from Fontaine—toodle-loo~" Furina gladly lets the other versions of the Creator see her enigmatic personality, not afraid to present herself as she usually does.

However dramatic and ever-flamboyant she may be, Furina isn't stupid. She can see wariness and suspicion seeping in to some of the most recent Imposter!Sagau yous, so she immediately yet cleanly makes sure she takes her leave, her curtain call with a promise to return in the near future.

She's probably the second-most visiting archon the Creators' Shelter sees, but Furina's visits are always short. At least she brings desserts from Fontaine to share with everyone!

And we're done! Boy, this took longer than expected...I hope you guys enjoyed it, though!

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: I have not been keeping up with what's going on in the Sagau Genshin Community, so Furina's bit may be very off on what is actually going on in the general Sagau Community. Sorry on that part.

I was originally tempted to try and do my own interpretation of Fontaine's stance in the Sagau!Imposter category, as they are known for their justice and love of good plot story. If you think about it, Fontaine might be more intrigued with the idea than be heavily offensive about it—after all, Fontaine loves their opera. I vetoed the idea though bc this request needed a focus on the generic stance of an Imposter!Sagau Au so I scrolled through a few posts to see what others were up to.

But yeah, I'm alive! I honestly love how like—no one has made the "sagau furina" tag yet and I had to make it myself LOL. Man, I've really been dead on Tumblr, huh?

If you're still on the radar for The Lost Shining God of Celestia, don't worry—it's not being cancelled. I'm still on hiatus due to writer's block (it only has two paragraphs im sobbing at my inactivity), but I'll get there eventually! Sorry for testing you patience lol—

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

[sweeethinny]

Happy Birthday, Harry Potter!

following the tradition I started almost a year ago (it will be a year on Ginny's birthday), here it is, a fanfic to celebrate this date!

Harry Potter is probably the fictional character I'm most attached to.

Flynn for Fleamont, Albus still with the same name (I think Albus is a beautiful name, let's forget the meaning and there's no Severus), Ruby for Rubeus <3

--------

‘‘Smile at the photo!’’

‘’I thought we were going to sing now.’’

"We will, but first, just smile... Yes, get closer... Perfect."

‘'We can start?'’

"Dad, you're getting old."

"I know, I realized that when you told me the same thing last night."

"Don't talk to your dad like that, Al, old people don't like to be reminded that they're old." Ginny smiled, brown eyes flashing towards him. ‘‘Come on, everyone! Happy Birthday to you…’’

Everyone started to sing, the same disorganized mess as usual, with Sirius and Remus whistling, his dad taking a bunch of pictures that were probably going bad but that he was going to display in the frame anyway, and the kids - who weren't kids anymore - starting to argue about the first piece of cake.

Harry was happier than ever.

It had been a nice day, they had traveled to their country house so there would be no unpleasant interruptions from curious people like on his 35th birthday, and they would spend the weekend having fun, enjoying the family, fishing, telling stories and laughing. It was the best way to celebrate his 41st birthday, and Harry was feeling like the happiest man in the world.

When the song ended and everyone looked forward to him blowing out the candle, Harry thought of all the years that had passed, and how things had improved since then. He looked at the children in front of the table, eagerly waiting to eat as usual, then at Ginny who was smiling at some picture James had taken, and Lily who was watching him with a smile very similar to his own, but a little older and wiser.

There wasn't much to ask for; he had his family, his parents, and all the people he loved and thought important to have there. He had nothing more to ask for.

May everything continue to be fine. He thought, closing his eyes and blowing out the candles, hearing the screams and howls and barely managing not to laugh.

"Happy birthday Dad, I love you so much." Albus was the first to come, which Harry was glad because he wasn't at an age for many outpourings of love.

‘'I love you too, my boy, so much.'’

‘‘And I wanted to know-’’

“Albus, stop hogging Dad,” Flynn pushed his brother away, already nearly as tall as Harry, a sly smile on his face. The same smile that had gotten him into so many other problems that year. Harry hadn't forgotten that. "Happy birthday, my old man." He opened his arms, far more willing to show affection than his brothers. ‘’Forty-one, huh? Almost time for retirement.'’

“Yeah, I'm thinking about starting to worry about putting my room downstairs. My knee is not the same anymore.” Harry hugged him, laughing at the boy's courage.

'’I love you.'’

"Me too, boy."

"Get out," Ruby shoved them both, but Harry was willing to ignore that because his little girl was only thirteen, and he didn't want to fight anyone on his birthday. 'Happy Birthday, Dad. If you weren't my dad, I'd hit the imposter and go after you.”

"I'm glad about it, my love." Harry chuckled, hugging her and thinking his babies were growing up too fast for him to like it.

‘'Forty years… It seems like yesterday that I thought your grandfather was going to kill me because I got his daughter pregnant.'’ His dad smiled from ear to ear, looking happy that his moment had finally arrived in the hug line, his mother was to the side and Lily also laughed at the memory, nodding.

'’Dad was furious, we thought he was really going to kill James.’' She had tears in her eyes, and Harry felt like a child again, running to his parents in the morning of his birthday and trying to guess the presents, excited by the schedule of the day. "I know I always say that, but I'm so proud of the man you've become."

"And I always say it's thanks to both of you." Harry kissed her forehead and then James, who was already crying. He became a man who got emotional easily after all the stress of the war, and every birthday, New Year and Christmas, James would cry. But Harry understood, he also needed to choke back tears at various times when he realized how far he was going.

When you were 15 years old and had already faced so many things, you doubted that you would be alive until the next year, let alone 41 years old.

"We love you so much, but I hope this year the cake doesn't have peachy," James joked, just to ease the slightly morbid vibe that had befallen them.

"No, chocolate," Harry soothed, chuckling along with Lily as they saw James turn towards the table, seeming to catch the children's eagerness to eat. Harry noticed that Albus had been hanging around the cake since the time Ginny arrived from the shop with him.

‘'Thank God! Excuse me, let me cut a piece then… Come here kids!’’

"Shouldn't you be the one cutting the cake?" Lily caught his eye, and Harry shook his head.

"Let him spoil his grandchildren a little more," he shrugged. "They'll probably go to bed early after they get sugary in their bodies."

‘‘Yeah, probably… You always fell asleep right after eating too much cake. It was our secret weapon for when we needed a few minutes of peace.” They both laughed, Harry now understanding what they had been through, but he still doubted that as a child he had as much energy as his kids had.

It looked like the three had an infinite battery.

"I'm glad to be here." Lily hugged him again, and again, Harry understood what she meant.

His parents had seen a lot, and the question of whether they would be able to survive the War was something Harry knew had haunted them as much as it had haunted him.

‘'I say the same… I wouldn't be anything without you and Dad.'’ He whispered, just because saying it too loudly aroused a sadness in him that Harry didn't like to think about, as the fear that his parents would die during the War was something that lingered in his mind for too long to be pleasant. "And neither do the kids." They watched James hand each one a piece of cake, ranting about how it had been the first time he'd fished with his father. Flynn seemed to be the most interested, his brown eyes flashing towards his grandfather.

‘’Let the others hug the birthday boy, Lily! There are more people in line!’’ Sirius yelled after Hestia, who rolled her eyes and looked at Harry as if she said, ‘'Don't worry, take your time.'’

‘‘Don't be a jerk, Pads. Ginny, can you…?” James walked back to Harry, putting his arm around Harry's shoulders and smiling as Ginny pointed the camera, the three of them posing for the photo. Harry knew that by the end of the party there would probably be another hundred, but he didn't care, it was important to keep those memories. And Lily had bought a new album that was barely two pages full, so they clearly needed more.

"Come here dear…" Lily and James walked out of there, James proudly taking the camera and going to where Ginny had been before. "Kids go with your dad, that's it, everybody together." Harry smiled again, ignoring when Albus nudged Flynn and whispered that he was getting taller, or when Ruby cursed them for pulling her braids.

Today he wouldn't mind that, it was his forty-one birthday and it was a happy day.

"Happy birthday my love," Ginny whispered after James took the picture, kissing Harry's cheek. ‘'You may be getting old, I know, but I still feel the same way I did when I stuck my elbow in butter because of you.'’ Another flash came, now just the two of them there, and Harry kissed her, definitely knowing he was the happiest man in the world.

Erised's mirror would probably show something very similar to reality - perhaps Harry had a more muscular stomach and less gray hair.

'’Thank you for being with me. I love you, and I still feel like that stupid teenager who dreamed of you and needed a cold shower at seven in the morning to get to class.” They both laughed, and another flash came toward them. These photos would make great frames.

"That hasn't changed much, has it?" She raised her eyebrows mischievously.

'Not. It hasn't changed much.” He shrugged.

Harry sighed, watching as Ginny winked at him and let Sirius come over to hug him, still smiling mischievously in his direction. Yeah, his sixteen-year-old self would be very proud of how far he's come.

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Full moon meetings

Werewolf!Daryl Dixon x Reader

You get stuck in the woods, surrounded by walkers when something saves your life.

Running from walkers was terrible. The only upside here was that you were alone and you could hide way easier than with a group. The other bad part was that it was currently late at night and you had to leave most of your stuff at your campsite because of the small herd that woke you up. The slightly better part was the full moon brightening the area which helped you spot a cabin up ahead to hide in until the walkers passed.

You rushed in and blocked the door behind you, waiting for the herd to pass. When it finally did you carefully scouted the way you came from and backtracked towards your campsite with the hopes that everything was still fine. On your way back you managed to avoid running into another small group of walkers but your camp was ravaged. You could find two knives that you took with you but the bag of food you had to leave behind was trampled completely. Now you were stuck in the woods, alone and with no food.

Your group had ditched you after you've gotten in a fight with someone and they all chose their side instead of yours. You sighed and dug around for anything that was still good enough to take with you and left for the cabin again. Memories of the fight that got you into this mess kept repeating in your head, causing you to not notice a ditch that you casually stepped into and slipped with a shriek, alarming all the walkers you so desperately tried to avoid. This time you didn't have enough time to escape and ended up surrounded, slowly taking down stumbling walkers but it wasn't long before you had them all getting too close too fast and there was no way out of this for you this time.

Not until you heard more growling, but a different kind then walkers' growls. You cowered down and hid your head between your knees, just waiting for it all to be over with as the growling became louder and the shine of the moon seemed to disappear underneath you. There was more growling and a lot of movement but nothing seemed to be directed at you and it surprised you how long you were actually surviving this whole thing. When the walkers' growls died down and the movements seemed to stop, the moon shone on the ground near you again and you carefully lifted your head to look at what happened, only to touch your nose against something wet before opening your eyes. You jumped up with a scream and ran off in the opposite direction, frantically looking back to see a giant creature standing among the corpses of the walkers that surrounded you just now. It didn't seem to move as you slowed your run and rounded it from a large distance, back on your way to the cabin to hole up in for the night, hoping the creature wasn't gonna attack you when it got hungry again. Finally back at the cabin you sat down and let out all the anger and frustration you had bottled up and cried into the murky bed that sat in the far corner. A group of walkers got in the way of his search for food. These nights were best for hunting and he always brought back the largest catch for the community. the ones who knew never spoke about it, and the ones who didn't never seemed to question it and somehow all accepted that the moonlight helped seeing late at night so it was easier to make multiple kills in one night. The group of walkers was a big one, but split after a noise somewhere further down into the woods which he also decided to follow. He came across a small campsite with only one sleeping bag and minimal supplies when another small group passed through, ruining everything in sight. He decided to watch from a distance to see what the walkers were fixated on and after a while of observing he ended on a survivor in the middle of another small section of the herd, surrounded and unable to get out by themselves. He watched as the person gave up and crawled down. As if his body moved on its own he jumped in and started gnawing away at the walkers, clawing and biting at them until all of them were down. He stepped away from the girl and sniffed around her, trying to smell for other humans or any sign of a walker bite but he found none. While he was busy she had raised her head and bumped her nose against his and jumped up with a shriek. He stepped back in confusion and stared as she ran off into the distance. He stalked her back to the cabin and decided to go back to hunting after seeing she got in safe.Normally he'd store his kills in the cabin but for now he'd have to think of something else.

You woke up later, your eyes still hurt from crying so it took a while longer to get adjusted to the darkness. When you were able to see properly again you checked out the cabin again, better this time now that you were safe and rested. While staring at the far wall you dragged yourself out of bed, stepping on something and dropping to the floor. Said something moved. "What the.. Shit!!" You called out as you tried to get away from the thing that you ran into earlier. It was large, covered in fur, and ..snoring? No, that wasn't a snore. That was more of a huff. Shit, you woke it up. It grumbled as it opened an eye to see what happened and saw you on the floor, staring in fear. It decided to get up and move further away from the bed and plop down on the floor again, keeping an eye on you until it had settled and closed them again to continue its sleep. Carefully getting back up you to make it back to the bed you spotted something near the door. Taking a better look you saw it was a pile of animals, not chewed down or torn apart but seemingly skillfully hunted. From what you could see there wasn't a lot of blood on them but their necks were clawed open or twisted in a gross way so you stopped looking and lied back down. Rest didn't really come anymore so when it was getting brighter outside you carefully snuck out of the cabin with all your stuff and left without waking the thing that accompanied you.

"I'm heading back to my group now, bye." You whispered softly as you closed the cabin door and walked off to what you hoped was your next safe stop and some food.

After what felt like an eternity you managed to catch a fish to fry and finally eat something. You took a break at the riverside and moved on after you had rested enough. You walked for a bit when you ended up on a road with a sign telling you about a place called Alexandria, a safe space according to the writing. It felt like a dream come true and you quickly made your way towards where the sign told you to go and close to sundown you finally arrived at the gates. You were quickly called after by someone on top of the gates. They asked you all kinds of questions  after someone opened one part of the gates before letting you in. A small group had gathered already and a guy named Aaron had given you some water and was talking to you together with another guy who introduced himself as Rick. He was a lot less nice than Aaron but you understood where his concerns came from. "She's fine. Quit bein' harsh on her." A gruff voice spoke from behind them. A guy with long shaggy hair moved into the group and you tried your hardest to remember if you ever saw him before but you had no idea who he was. "Ya said ya were goin' back to yer group. Why're ya here alone?" The two other men looked at him with confused looks on their faces but you tried to go along with what he said. "Yeah, I don't have a group. Thanks again for saving my ass. I didn't want to be bothering you any more than I already did." You said apologetic, hoping you came across convincing enough. "S'alright. good ya found this place." He added before going into a discussion with the other two, just out of your earshot. The man named Rick came back and brought the news that you were accepted into their community as long as you posed no threat to anyone and pulled your weight in the group. You agreed to all the terms he gave you and led you to an empty home where you could live for tonight. They all understood you were tired and left you alone for the time being. After you cleaned yourself up you went to sit down on your porch to take in your surroundings. It all felt surreal, it looked like this place had never even seen a walker at all.

"Hey, you." The guy from before made his way over to your porch and sat down next to the bench, keeping an acceptable distance to not scare you off. You welcomed him and moved down to sit closer so you could talk easier. "You saved me last night, didn't you." You asked quietly, not sure if it was something okay to ask about. He nodded and thanked you for not freaking out about it. "S'alright. My name's Daryl."

"Thank you for saving my ass, really. And for  saying what you did when I got here." You had introduced yourself before at the gate and now you talked about how you lost your group and ended up in the area. It was clear you were skilled enough to survive on you own as long as you didn't get caught off guard. "So, am I allowed yo ask about last night?" You wondered carefully, earning a smile and a nod. He told you about his hunting trips during the full moons and the further his story went, the more he wondered how you were so calm about it all. "I guess I have a soft spot for big monsters that are nice to people? I used to watch old monster movies for days on end before al of this." You turned away shyly. "I gotta admit, I've always been a sucker for werewolves." Saying that out loud made you want to curl up and disappear, but instead of being answered with something hurtful or being laughed at, you got a genuine smile and a "Glad I saved yer ass, then." He replied casually. "Finally someone who ain't scared of that side." The sad tone in his voice was hard to miss now and you felt bad for him. You gave him your biggest smile and leaned closer to him. "I like both of your sides."

You were new here and it was all still a little scary, but you knew it was all going to be alright with your big, not so bad wolf at your side.

[snowgoldwaylon]

A Night At The Opera - Grigori Weaver X Reader

Performing is what you loved to do best. Meeting a young soldier is just what you always dreamed off, but while you were on tour for one of the most iconic operas ever written. And you, the main character.

TW: None!

"Y/N! You are live in 10 minutes!" The producer called, as he walked past your mirror.

You glanced in the mirror and just caught the last glimpse of him leaving the room. You turned to look back at yourself in the large vanity, the lights illuminating your current hair style which stood pretty tall.

You were getting final touches to hair and makeup, and it just so happens for this opera, you were the main star. And as hollywood rules states, go big or go home. So you chose the classic big, bouncy curly hair with curled sideburns to give it spice.

It was elegant, you had little glass flowers put all through it so it would glitter and reflect off the stage lights. You wore a stunning ballgown dress, with large bell sleeves. And for the finishing touch which the hair stylist was putting in your hair?

An authentic, diamond and gold lined tiara, which had a long, lace veil attached to the back. You simply smiled at how you looked in this moment. A makeup artist came over and touched up some spots and re-applied the ruby red lipstick you had on.

As soon as they finished, you looked over yourself and smiled. You pushed a falling glass piece back into place, applied hairspray, and got up. You soothed the dress out and turned to the two who had made you look stunning.

"Thank you both, you have made my dream look come true! I think I'm going to permanently hire both of you to tour with me!" You exclaimed, giving a hand.

They both nodded graciously, and bowed with a humble 'thank you' before you were pulled away by someone.

"Okay Y/N, you will be live in one minute. You know the cues, good luck out there!" The stage coach yelled, pulling you to the side stage.

You watched as the young man who played Pollione finish his number, Meco all'altar di Venere. After the dramatic change of scene and the curtain close, the audience clapped loudly. The moment you trained for was finally here!

You watched as Klaus, the owner of the gorgeous, all original opera house approached you. You smiled, and he gave you his hand.

"Miss Y/N, do you look stunning! I must tell you before you go on, we have special guests in the audience. Not to make you worried or such, but these guests are returning soldiers from the war. One in particular who you might have the chance to meet after, is named Grigori Weaver. He loves operas, and even funded this show to go on!" Klaus exclaimed.

You were taken back by the odd sounding name. Grigori? Is that Russian? you asked yourself. You smiled at Klaus, and gave a simple nod.

"Yes Klaus, I understand. Thank you for the information. I do hope to meet him afterwards!" You said.

The stage hand tapped your shoulder, as you saw two men heading towards the curtain strings.

"I must go, Klaus. Thank you!" You said, before taking your spot center stage, right up against the curtain.

The choir filed in behind you on the risers as you stood, singing small voice warmups before it was go time. You felt nervous, but excited. Your heart raced with joy and adrenaline as the final words of the scene were spoken.

That was the cue! With the final dialouge spoken, the curtains opened. The lights suddenly filled your vision, along with the large crowd in the huge theather. A small, soft smile was written on your flawless features as the orchestra began the song.

The flute soloist filled the room with warm, beautiful, contrasted music with crescendos and decrescendos. It sounded almost ominous, but it was beautiful. You stood in the pose as practiced before.

The bell sleeves hung beautiful as you would slightly lift your arms with the music. The violins cued your very first note, and you gave it your all.

"Casta Diva, che inargenti

queste sacre antiche piante,

a noi volgi il bel sembiante

senza nube e senza vel."

You maintained a professional and elegant posture as you acted the part of your character, Norma. You swayed lightly with the music, and smiled as the choir behind you hit the correct notes, pitch, and phrases behind you. You glanced out over the crowd, and right away spotted a man wearing an eye patch in the VIP section.

Suddenly, you felt the urge to finish this aria right, and with ease. Your next cue happened, and you let the bell sleeves hang beside you.

"Tempra, o Diva,

tempra tu de’ cori ardenti

tempra ancora lo zelo audace,

spargi in terra quella pace

che regnar tu fai nel ciel.

 

Fine al rito

e il sacro bosco

sia disgombro dai profani.

Quando il Nume irato e fosco,

chiegga il sangue dei Romani.

Dal Druidico delubro

La mia voce tuonerà.

Cadrà; punirlo io posso.

Ma, punirlo, il cor non sa.

 

Ah! bello a me ritorna

Del fido amor primiero;

E contro il mondo intiero

difesa a te sarò.

Ah! bello a me ritorna

Del raggio tuo sereno,

e vita nel tuo seno,

e patria e cielo avrò.

Ah, riedi ancora qual eri allora,

quando il cor ti diedi allora,

ah, riedi a me."

With the last note of the orchestra, ending right after your vocals pitched down, you struck an elegant pose. The diamond of the tiara made you sparkle as you soaked up all limelight.

Cheers roared and echoed through the halls and walkways of the opera house. Whistles and flowers were thrown as the curtains began to slowly close. You glanced towards the man with the eyepatch again, and saw him standing up.

He joined everyone in a standing ovation because your pure and effortless talent had shaken them to the core, but in a good way. The heat of the lights brought you to a pant, and small specks of sweat beaded at the line of your hair.

The curtains finally came to a close and you released the pose. You quickly made the way backstage to cool off, so you wouldn't look rough for the finishing act.

Producers swarmed you, makeup artists, and hair artists also swarmed you like buzards so they could doll you back up. You were to keep the hairstyle for the final act, but change the dress for a Victoria era wedding dress.

TIMESKIP, END OF THE OPERA

You gathered at the entrance along with the cast to say goodbye to guests as they exited the opera house. This gave guests a chance to get autographs, pictures, and words to say. You were of course, the first at the door for the order of namesake.

Soon, the hundreds of people came, and shook hands with everyone. You were signing many autographs for many people, and snapping many pictures for all. And you were very determined to make sure everyone who asked had one.

Soon, the end of the line came, and out came the man in question. The handsome, dark haired man with the eye patch and a handsome pair of dress blues. He made conversation with everyone, and you even noticed Klaus right beside him, talking.

They came up to you last, and the rest of the cast exited to get cleaned up. You smiled as they approached, and held out your hand.

"Evening, Miss Norma. You did fantastic. My name is Grigori Weaver, could I have yours please?" He asked kindly, taking your hand and giving it a small kiss.

You blushed as Grigori let your hand go, and turned to Klaus.

"This is the gentleman who sponsored the whole show!"

"Ah yes, Grigori. Nice too meet you. I'm Y/N Y/L/N. Or as you know, Norma. On behalf on all my cast and producers, coaches, and myself, we thank you. This production would have been lost if it wasn't for you kind donation." You said.

He smiled at you, and only you. He couldn't get over how flawless and just how polite you were.

"Well, as proven tonight, Miss Y/L/N, it's my pleasure. I do hope you stick around for more performances these coming years, da?" He asked.

"Well of course! I plan on staying in the opera for many years while I attend school and look for my dream job." You said.

Grigori looked at his watched, and slipped his hat on. While he fixed the collar on his jacket, he fished inside his coat for something. He pulled out a brilliant, luscious red rose and handed to you. You gratefully accepted as a blushed creeped across you.

"I must be going now, my job starts soon. But, for you, Norma. Maybe possibly I could come see you perform again this coming week?" He asked.

"Of course you can, I'd love that." You said, with a smile.

"Off I go then. Have a wonderful evening, both of you!" He said as he exited the opera house.

You watched him walk to his very luxurious car, and he looked back. You waved and turned on your heel, walking back with Klaus.

"I think you just got the VIP to fall in love with you, nyet?" He asked.

"Klaus, do not be so foolish! He was simply being nice." You said, walking up the first flight of stairs.

"But, he did say he'd be returing for the other shows. If he does, then that will prove my point for sure!" Klaus said.

You came to your dressing room, and wished Klaus a good evening as you closed the door. You set the red rose in a vase on your vanity and began carefully taking out the pieces from your hair. You couldn't stop thinking about with Grigori had said.

And over the rest of the following days the opera showed, Grigori kept his promise. Soonz the vase was overflowing with roses. And after one performance, you found yourself at one of the nicest restaurants with Grigori.

That was one hell of a night at the opera.

Taglist: @smokeywhalee @wennbergbabe @justagenderfluidstuff @goawaypleasecryingemoji @kazazure @kapanovangswife @xundeadqueenx @direwolfspostsrandomshit

[official-weasley]

Tiger - (The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley AU)

Warnings: is getting a pet a warning? 🤔🙈

Word count: 5,205

Characters: Charlie Weasley and my OC Nova from TICW which you can find here

Nova

“Mum, when is dad coming home?”

Aoede and I were sitting on our sofa, watching cartoons and eating cookies. An episode of Tom and Jerry just ended and Aoede noticed that Charlie wasn't home yet.

“In a few minutes, sweetheart.” I ran my fingers through her soft hair, getting another cookie from the bowl.

“Is he late?” Aoede posed another question.

“No. It's five minutes until 3 o'clock so he hasn't finished working yet.”

“I wish he didn't have to wolk that long.” Aoede sighed.

“Oh, sweetheart, me too. But he works every day until 5 or 6 so he is already coming early today because it's Friday.” I wiggled the bowl to switch Aoede's attention to cookies.

“Fliday and Sunday ale my favolite. You know why, mum?” Aoede turned to me before trying to stuff an entire cookie in her mouth.

“Why?” I giggled, watching the chocolate get smeared all over her face.

“On Fliday, daddy comes home earliel and we have a cuddle day and on Sunday we have pancakes fol blefcast.” Aoede clapped excitedly.

“Breakfast, Aoede.” I corrected her.

“Bleak...fast.” Aoede furrowed her brows trying to remember the word.

“There you go! Nice job!” I pulled her in a half hug.

She was sitting next to me because my belly was too big for her to sit in my lap.

“You know what,” I said after I took a bite of yet another cookie, “Fridays and Sundays are my favorite too.”

“Leally? Because of daddy being home and pancakes?” Aoede's eyes were sparkling.

“Because we all cuddle on the sofa and pancakes.” I sniggered.

“What about dad?” Aoede asked curiously.

“Meh.” I swung my hand, trying to sound uninterested.

“Mum,” Aoede gasped, “stop it! You love dad!”

“I do,” I giggled, “nothing gets past you, does it?”

“You tlied to tlick me!” Aoede fully turned to me and took my cookie. “No cookie fol you!”

“Hey, give that back, I'm eating for two!” I made puppy eyes at her.

“Those only wolk on dad, mum.” Aoede giggled and put my cookie in her mouth.

“You are too smart for a 3-year-old.” I playfully shook my head.

“I am just good at taking youl cookies,” Aoede said with her mouth full.

“Want to watch another episode or should we wait for dad?” I reached for the remote.

“Wait fol dad. I will talk to the baby now.” Aoede cleared her throat after finishing the cookie.

I still didn't like the fact that Charlie raised his voice at her the night Bill and Fleur came by. I wasn't used to it as my parents rarely had to do it with me and I have learned from them that most of the time just talking peacefully works wonders.

Before Aoede was even born, Charlie expressed his concern about how his mother always shouted at him and his siblings and that he doesn't want to be like her and made me swear that I would scold him if I ever notice he is turning into his mother.

He might not have shouted at Aoede like Molly used to shout at her boys, but it was evident that he has lost his temper with her and I wasn't okay with that. Especially, when Fleur told me that she was the same when her sister was born and later Bill trying to calm me down telling me that he and Charlie were the same when their younger siblings were born.

Charlie and Aoede worked it out the second Charlie and Bill came back inside and he apologized to me 3 times that night before we went to sleep.

Even though I forgave him the second he sat down and talked to our daughter I couldn't help but notice that by raising his voice Aoede started to warm up to the fact that she is getting a sibling.

The first thing she did, she asked me when the baby is coming. Then she asked Charlie if she can join him when he was singing to my belly. To say that we were both shocked by her sudden change of heart was an understatement but at the same time, we were over the roof about the fact that we could talk about the pregnancy in front of her without her glaring at us.

She usually played with her Unicorn plushie or did puzzles – which her grandpa Artie sent her the second we told him she finished the dinosaur one – when Charlie was either talking or singing to the baby. It was progress that she didn't mind, but last week she got curious and actually listened to what he was doing.

Two days ago, when Charlie was still at work, she stopped playing all of a sudden and walked to me, avoiding my eyes. I had never seen her so shy around me so I asked her what was going on. After a lot of mumbling to herself and fiddling with her fingers, she admitted that she would like to try and talk to the baby.

I did my best, hiding the fact that her action shocked me and made her sit next to me on the sofa so she could sit on my legs and talk to the baby. She only introduced herself before getting too shy and jumping off me to go back to her toys but it meant the world to me.

Charlie, of course, couldn't believe it when I told him and was hoping he would get to see it and since she wanted to do it again today, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that he will be able to witness this miracle sooner or later.

“Okay, whenever you are ready.” I smiled softly at her, gently stroking her hair.

“Hello.” She tapped on my belly so lightly that it tickled me. “Uhm, mum I don't know what to say.”

“Well, your dad usually tells the baby stories.” I encouraged her.

“Oh, I know plenty of those!” Aoede's eyes sparkled as they did every time she got an idea.

“Hi, baby!” She waved at my belly. “I love cookies. My uncle Geogie makes the best ones and I love when he comes and we make them togethel. I love the ones with chocolate the most! You will love uncle Geogie, he is so funny! But uncle Bill is my favolite. He has longel hail than dad and he lets me play with it. He isn't as funny as uncle Geogie but his stolies ale fun! He loves auntie Fleul. She is vely pletty and...”

Before Aoede could continue the front door unlocked and Charlie stepped inside.

“I'm home!” He sang.

“Daddy, shhh! I'm talking to the baby!” Aoede whispered with a finger in front of her mouth.

“You are what?” Charlie raised his eyebrows and locked eyes with mine.

“She's talking to the baby,” I whispered, trying not to giggle too much to disturb her.

Charlie was quick to put his jacket away so he could join us as he couldn't wait to be a part of this. He kissed Aoede's forehead and got a little groan in return for disturbing her. Then he gently pushed me upward so he could sit down and I positioned myself in his arms. He kissed the top of my head, listening to Aoede tell the baby all about her uncles and aunts and why she loves each of them.

“The last one is uncle Pelcy. I only saw him once. Daddy doesn't like him much I think...” Aoede gave her words some thought.

I looked up at Charlie who swallowed thickly, his eyes on our 3-year-old.

Percy came home for the first time about 2 months after the war. The reactions to his action varied. Arthur and Molly were just happy he was back. Ron, George, and Ginny didn't want to hear him out at all. Charlie and Bill were hesitant and asked him to give them some time to think everything through.

Because Charlie wanted Aoede to have all her uncles in her life, he invited Percy to stay with us at the end of last year. It was very awkward but I saw that Charlie tried to understand where Percy was coming from and even though their relationship is still a bit shaky, they exchange a few letters per month.

“I...ah, mum! Ah, what did I do?!” Aoede suddenly jumped in the air, her eyes widened in horror, looking at my belly.

“What happened?” Charlie got alarmed.

“Nothing,” I giggled, “the baby just kicked and Aoede felt it.”

“Oh.” Charlie sighed in relief, tightening his arms around me.

“The baby kicked?” Aoede tilted her head and slowly climbed back on my legs.

“Yes. That's what you felt.” I chuckled, finding her reaction amusing.

“I didn't hult you?” She was still in shock.

“No, sweetheart. You did the same when you were in my belly.” I gently grabbed her shoulder and pulled her toward me to give her a hug and calm her down.

“O-okay.” Aoede took a deep breath and buried her head in my shoulder.

“So, if I am not mistaken, it's cuddle day.” Charlie grinned at us, trying to make Aoede forget about the kick.

“Yes!” Aoede exclaimed and carefully climbed off me and jumped to the floor.

“Where are you going?” Charlie asked her as she started walking to the drawer where I had my art supplies.

“I want to look at mum's dlawings.” She explained as she pulled out one of my sketchbooks and walked back to us.

“I thought you'd want to watch cartoons.” Charlie teased her.

“No. Mum and I watched Tom and Jelly befole. I want to do this now.” She lifted her hands in the air for Charlie to help her back on the sofa.

“Do you want to watch a cartoon?” Charlie whispered in my ear.

“Sure.” I smiled at him and gave him the remote.

“Mum, look!” Aoede turned the sketchbook to me. “It's Blue but little!”

The sketchbook was opened on a drawing of a kneazle which I drew the year I came to Romania. Blue was Felix's kneazle and is now living with Andrei. Aoede loves to go there not only to play with the animal but also to spend time with Andrei who she calls her best friend.

The first time Andrei heard her say that he shed a tear and didn't understand what he did to deserve that title but gladly took it. Andrei is the one who first showed Aoede a picture of a unicorn and told her all sorts of stories about his interaction with the creature. Andrei is even better at telling stories than Charlie is so it's no surprise that unicorns are her favorite creatures.

“Yes, that's Blue when he was still a cub.” I thumbed through the book to find the other drawing of him. “See, that's him too.”

“Oh, so pletty. I love Blue, mum.” Aoede was admiring my drawing, her eyes sparkling.

“I know you do, sweetheart.” I watched her trace her little finger over the lines of Blue's ears.

“Mum, can we get a kneazle?” Aoede said more to herself than to me.

“You think you are old enough to take care of a kneazle?” I raised my eyebrows at her.

“Yes! My best fliend showed me how to feed Blue and how to make Blue's ful look pletty and shiny!” Aoede closed the sketchbook, her eyes locking with mine.

“Hmm,” I tapped my chin with my finger, giving the idea some thought. “I love your idea.”

I grinned at her, making her eyes even bigger and if it would be possible sparks would fly out of them.

“But we have to ask dad first.” I pressed my lips together knowing this is going to be very amusing to watch.

“Dad, dad! Mum and I want a kneazle!” Aoede was shaking from excitement.

“What now?” Charlie mumbled, his eyes still on the telly.

“A kneazle, dad! Oh, can we? Please!”

“What about a kneazle, Pumpkin?” Charlie asked absentmindedly.

“We want one!” Aoede started to look annoyed because Charlie still didn't look at her.

“Wait what?” Charlie turned down the volume and looked at his daughter.

“We want a kneazle, dad! We want a kneazle!” Aoede bounced on my legs.

“We?” Charlie cocked an eyebrow, his gaze switching from Aoede to me.

“I said she has to ask you first.” I winked at him.

“Why me? Why do I have to decide?” Charlie narrowed his eyes at me.

“You're the man of the house, aren't you?” I sniggered.

“Right.” Charlie nodded his head, still a bit confused about how we are suddenly discussing having a pet. “Well, what did you say?” He whispered to me.

“I said that I love her idea,” I replied.

“You did?” Charlie tilted his head. “You think she's ready to have a pet?”

“I am!” Aoede crossed her arms on her chest.

“Love, we are 14 days from your due date, we'll be busy with the baby. How are you planning to take care of a kneazle too?”

“You are making some good points, Charles.” I nodded. “However, I think Aoede has enough experience because of Blue to take care of one.”

“She's 3!” Charlie exclaimed.

“So that's a no?” I pouted. “I think that's a no, Aoede.”

“Why!” Aoede whined.

“Wait, how do you think this is a good idea?” Charlie ignored our daughter.

“Well, you know I wanted to get a pet ever since we moved to Romania but then we didn't have the time and now we have a house and you know we will always find an excuse and honestly since we both love animals so much, it's a miracle we don't have a zoo already.”

“Okay, true, but you know that Aoede is too young to take care of it alone and I will be at work so you will have to feed it and everything.” Charlie sighed.

“I am aware of that, Char. But it would also be a good opportunity to teach Aoede to be responsible and I can handle a toddler, a baby, and a kneazle.”

“Daddy, please!” Aoede looked at Charlie with the biggest puppy eyes I have ever seen. “I will help mummy, I plomise. I will feed it evely molning and evely night and I will tlain him to poop and I will give him lots of cuddles!”

“Yeah, there's no doubt about the last one.” Charlie tried not to look at Aoede because he knew he won't be able to resist her looking at him like that.

“Admit it, you want it too.” I nudged him, whispering.

“Of course, I want it.” Charlie ran his hand across his face, still not fully convinced.

“So we ale getting a kneazle?” Aoede gasped.

“Oh, I don't know.” Charlie gave it some thought.

“Please!” Aoede and I said in unison, making puppy eyes at Charlie.

“I swear if our second born has your eyes, you three will be the death of me.” Charlie sighed in defeat.

“I think that's a yes, Aoede.” I giggled and high-fived her.

“Yes!” Aoede thrust her hands in the air, carefully climbed off me, and started dancing around the living room.

“I can't believe I was the one who needed convincing for us to have a pet,” Charlie whispered after a few moments of us giggling and watching out daughter celebrate.

“I know it's kind of an impulsive and an irresponsible decision but I know we can do it and I believe Aoede will take care of it. She loves to help Andrei with Blue and honestly, he has taught her a lot about kneazles.” I defended my decision.

“That's true, she is pretty responsible for her age and I guess it would be a good distraction for her from the baby in case she ought to change her mind.” Charlie scratched the stubble below his chin.

“I mean we kind of owe her for having another baby.” I chuckled.

“Oh, great. So what are we getting her when we're having our third child?” Charlie raised his eyebrows at me, looking amused.

“Let this one be born first, will you?” I laughed.

“I can't wait.” He kissed me first on the nose, then on the lips.

“So, are you really okay with it?” I asked.

“Yeah, why not.” Charlie shrugged. “You tamed a chimera which is supposed to be untamable, how hard can having a kneazle be?”

“I guess we'll find out soon.” I nodded my head at Aoede who was still running around the room shouting that we are getting a kneazle.

Charlie

The morning after we decided to get a kneazle, we visited Andrei to see if he knows anyone who breeds them. Even though my girls convinced me to get one, I still wasn't sure it was a good idea. It wasn't that I didn't want one – in that regard, I thought it was a good idea too – but I was worried for Nova and how she'll be able to handle everything while I'm at work.

The second pregnancy has been draining her and I have no idea how she will be after she gives birth and Aoede is getting more energetic each day and even though I will help her as much as I possibly can, I will have to go to work too and I don't want Nova to be exhausted for the next year because we decided to get a pet.

When we woke up in the morning I told Nova that I will ask Andrei if he thinks it's a good idea and if he reckons we can take care of one with having a baby on the way.

We walked to the Sanctuary – well Aoede ran most of the way because she was too excited – and knocked on Andrei's door when we reached his cottage.

“Aoede! What a pleasant surprise!” Andrei grinned when he saw our little one.

He picked her up and twirled her in the air.

“Andy, Andy, we are getting a kneazle!” Aoede told him the news the second he put her down.

“You are?” He bestowed her with a grin before turning to us. “That's sudden.”

“Yes, very,” I spoke first.

“Charlie thinks it's a bad idea with the baby on the way.” Nova followed.

“I think your timing couldn't be more perfect,” Andrei said casually.

“Really?” Nova and I said together.

“Kneazles are the best pets to the people they can trust and they tend to trust children more. Aoede is great with Blue, he simply adores her meaning she is trustworthy. If a kneazle trusts the whole family then they are better behaved than most cats. All you'll have to do is feed it, comb its fur around 3 times per week and play with it, which I think won't be a problem.” Andrei nodded his head to where Aoede was sitting on the floor, playing with Blue.

“So they aren't too high maintenance?” Charlie wanted to know.

“Not at all. They are a much better first-time pet than crups. They learn faster because they are highly intelligent and they don't have as much energy as crups so they mostly like to cuddle with you.” Andrei continued with a smile on his face.

He then asked us how we came to the idea and Nova explained how Aoede saw Blue in my sketchbook and made him laugh when she told him how they convinced me to get one.

“Why were you against it, Charles? You and Nova have been discussing getting a pet since you moved here.” Andrei teased him.

“That's what I said!” Nova chuckled.

“Well, I was just hesitant with the new baby and I won't be home all the time to help around the house and...” I sighed. “I guess I just got worried.”

“Understandable,” Andrei nodded, “you know you'll get some time off when the baby arrives and in case your kneazle will be too much to handle you can always bring it here.”

“Thank you, Andrei.” His words calmed me down.

“Do you know anyone who breeds them or where we could get one?” I wanted to know.

“Mary would be your best call. She lives in the same village you do and Felix got Blue from her.” Andrei answered my question.

“Wait, you mean Mary Hucklewood? The one that has the drug store?” Nova got excited.

“The very same!” Andrei smiled.

“Oh, that's going to be easy, Char! She's a really sweet lady. I had no idea she's a kneazle breeder.”

“Yeah! Her kneazles won some amazing awards on shows and such. I am sure she'll be able to tell you more!” Andrei looked towards where Aoede was still playing with Blue.

“Did you hear, Pumpkin? We know where to get a kneazle.” I kneeled next to her and rubbed Blue's belly.

“Leally? Can we go now?” Aoede gasped.

“We can't just leave Andrei after being here for 10 minutes.” Nova giggled.

“I would love to come with you if you'll have me. I have to buy some groceries anyway and I haven't seen Mary for a long time.” Andrei said, winking at Aoede.

“See! We can go now! We can go now!” Aoede was jumping up and down.

Without saying another word, we walked to the door and headed back to the village.

“How are you feeling?” I asked Nova as we were walking hand in hand, Andrei, and Aoede right in front of us.

“The walk is doing me good. My feet hurt but I had to move from that sofa eventually.” She said softly. “Not 14 days before your due date.” I tried hiding the concern in my voice. “And I'll massage your feet the second we get home.”

“Thank you, Char.” Nova smiled appreciatively at me before turning to see what made Aoede squeak.

“Mummy, daddy, we're here!” She pointed at the house on our left, hardly containing her excitement.

“Now, Aoede, even if Mary has a kneazle for us to adopt, it doesn't mean we will get it today, okay?” I kneeled next to her.

“I know, dad.” Aoede sighed disappointedly but I knew she understood the situation.

“Go ahead, then. Knock on the door.” Nova nudged her so she got closer.

Aoede took a deep breath and knocked on the door so gently that I was sure the lady inside the house won't be able to hear her.

It was amusing to see Aoede nervous but in a way admiring to watch her in this state because she showed me that despite being so young, this means a lot to her.

“I think we should let Aoede do all the talking so that we see if she is really ready for this,” I whispered to my wife.

“Okay, she seems a bit nervous.” Nova giggled.

“Yeah, she's adorable.” I followed her lead, waiting for someone to get the door.

“Maybe you should knock again, Pumpkin.” I encouraged our daughter when she started to turn around to look at us.

She did as she was told, her knock more determined this time.

“I'm coming, I'm coming! Pretzel, dear, move to the side so I can open the door.” We heard the voice in the house say.

The door creaked opened and a lady in her fifties was standing in the doorway.

“Andrei, Nova! What a pleasant surprise!” The woman grinned at them.

To me, the woman seemed familiar but Nova usually paid more attention to people than I did because she reckoned that we should know the people who live around us in case there would be any spies – that was back when we were at war.

“Hi, Mary! Long time no see!” Andrei waved at the woman.

“And you must be Nova's husband Charlie and I bet this little cutie is Aoede.” She locked eyes with me and smiled before bending down to shake Aoede's hand.

“That is me!” Aoede beamed. “Maly, this is my best fliend Andy and my mummy and daddy and we ale hele because you gave Blue to Andy and mummy and I want a kneazle. See, daddy isn't sule but he said that we can have one if we will take cale of it and I plomise, I plomise Maly that I will take the best cale of my kneazle. Blue leally likes me!”

Nova and I chuckled at Aoede's enthusiasm, Mary however looked surprised.

“You sure know how to make a good first impression, Aoede,” Mary said after waiting for a moment longer if Aoede is done talking.

“And all that she said is true, she is amazing with Blue and he adores her.” Andrei supported Aoede's statement.

“Oh, I have no doubt about that.” Mary nodded toward Aoede who was petting one of Mary's kneazles. “Pretzel doesn't trust a lot of people and he has certainly never let anyone touch him the first time he meets them, so your daughter is really good with animals.”

I blinked a few times before exchanging a look with Nova – getting all teary-eyed and proud of my daughter. From the looks of it, Nova wasn't doing any better, as she sniffed and couldn't stop smiling.

“Unfortunately, you would have to wait until the next year. I have given away the good kneazles from my last litter a few weeks ago so I am afraid you are too late.” Mary bowed her head, sadly. “Kneazles breed only once per year, if they do, so it's hard to say.”

“Oh,” Aoede tried her hardest not to sound disappointed even though I could see her eyes filling with tears.

“What did you mean with the good kneazles?” I asked.

“The ones that are suitable for shows and further breeding,” Mary explained.

“We would have it as a pet and we are not looking to breed kneazles.” Nova's voice turned cheerful.

“Well,” Mary put her hands on her hips, “there is one then. I was planning to keep him for myself but if he'd like you I would gladly give him to you.”

She invited us inside and we followed her upstairs.

“What's wrong with him?” Nova wanted to know.

“He is completely healthy and loves to eat,” Mary laughed, “but there was an accident when the litter was a few weeks old.”

“What happened?” Aoede got curious.

“He was trying to make friends with my Venomous Tentacula.”

Mary opened the door and motioned with her hand that we should come inside.

“Hi, sweetness, I brought you some company,” Mary said in a baby voice.

The room was full of kneazle equipment and the kneazle Mary addressed was the only one inside. He was orange with brown spots and the only thing I could see being wrong with him was the tipped left ear.

Andrei, Nova, and I stood in the doorway while Nova encouraged Aoede to enter the room. She made a cautious step toward Mary, fidgeting with her fingers.

“Go on, he's friendly.” Mary smiled at Aoede.

Aoede took a deep breath and sat down. Nova's eyebrows raised, while Andrei and I exchanged a look.

Aoede didn't move nor called the kneazle, she waited patiently for him to come to her. Since kneazles are big on trust this was a smart move and it blew me away that my three-year-old knew what to do.

The kneazle tilted its head to the side and observed Aoede as if she was the only one in the room. He looked very playful and after a few moments approached Aoede carefully. He sat down right in front of her and tilted his head again.

I have never seen my daughter sit so still. She was always running around or talking to us or drawing on my arm or making ponytails on my head or painting my nails. The only time she didn't move was when she was sleeping and even then we sometimes found her on the other side of the bed compared to where she fell asleep.

I can't find the words to express how proud I was of her at that moment and I felt like crying and hugging her and telling her that she's the best but I had to be patient like she was with the kneazle and do that later. If nothing else her behavior proved to me that she was ready to have a pet.

The kneazle took another step forward and extended his paw toward Aoede. She carefully moved her right arm and placed her hand over his paw. The creature purred and jumped in Aoede's arms.

“Oh, how wonderful!” Mary clapped excitedly.

Andrei looked almost as proud as I did and I caught myself observing the scene with my mouth open.

“Yeah...wonderful.” I turned to Nova who was sobbing and brushing away her tears.

“Oh, you ale so pletty! Look at youl ful and colols and oh,” Aoede gasped, “look at youl eal!”

“That's Tentacula's work.” Mary shook her head.

“He is pelfect!” Aoede turned around to see our reaction.

“I think he likes you, Pumpkin.” I sent her a wink.

“Mhm,” Nova mumbled, looking ever so proud.

“He's all yours, Aoede.” Mary walked to her and put her hand on her shoulder.

“I have to ask mummy and daddy filst.” Aoede gently hugged the kneazle and placed him on the ground so she could stand up.

“Can we have him, dad?” Aoede stopped in front of me, looking up and waiting for my answer.

I turned my head to Nova to see what she has to say about it. She nodded her head slightly and I bent down to our daughter.

“We can have him.”

“What is his name?” Aoede asked all of a sudden as if she has just remembered she doesn't know his name yet.

“I didn't name him for some reason. I just kept calling him sweetness, so the honor is all yours.” Mary smiled at her.

“Oh!” Aoede's eyes sparkled as she was thinking of the name. “Tigel!”

“Tiger?” Nova, Andrei, and I said at the same time.

“Tigel,” Aoede repeated.

“You're going to name a creature after another creature?” I raised my eyebrow.

“You're the one to talk!” Nova laughed. “Have you forgotten that you named an abraxan at my aunt's Dragon?” She nudged me with her elbow.

“Touché. I completely forgot about that.” I felt the heat on my cheeks as I scratched the back of my head.

—

“Another thing she has after you.” Nova giggled.

“And what's that?” I put my arm around her waist as we walked toward our house.

Andrei was helping Aoede carry Tiger and all the supplies Mary gave us for him.

“She is as bad at naming creatures as you are.” Nova pressed more into me, while I just playfully rolled my eyes.

I didn't care what she named him. Aoede had many moments so far that made me a proud father but her interaction with the kneazle beat all of those moments' arses by far and even though she probably got her intuition for animals from Nova, I was happy that she got the creature-naming after me – even though, I had to agree, not the best trait to inherit.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hey! Would it be okay if you wrote yandere headcanons for Jafar, Captain Hook, Ratcliffe, and Maleficent? Thank you!

No problem! ^^ Sorry for the wait! Ratcliffe posed a challenge, but I'm so happy to get a request about him and his and Mal's turned out my favourites- I hope you like them too!

~~~

Captain Hook:

Hook has no problema’s with kidnapping people in the first place; He’s done it twice (More?? I remember twice off the top of my head) already, and you being in the real world would be absolutely no issue because he’s done that before too (Jane). So, he’s definitely going to take you when he’s yandere for you.

He’s not violent with you, but he is cruel. Ties you up and keeps you in the belly of the ship, with all the supplies and stuff. Not even his crew are allowed to sleep down there, safe from the elements. Just you. Occasionally someone other than your kidnapper comes down to get food / other supplies or to bring you food (Its always Smee, as he is the one Hook trusts the most) and you ‘enjoy’ your only human contact with someone apart from Hook, someone other then the one person you’re exposed to every single day, who you hate.

He also likes to keep you gagged though sometimes if he remembers, so their will likely be no talking between you and Smee.

And don’t doubt Hook’s strength against you. I don’t know how, you don’t know how, no one knows how, but Captain Hook is freakishly strong. I’ll let your mind run wild with that knowledge, of Hook’s physical strength…

And don’t start thinking you get a break where the heroes of this movie are involved! As soon as Peter finds out about you, you’re in for even more pain. He see’s that you’re important to Hook, so of course he’s going to target you a lot. Really, this is just not a nice situation to be in. You get no rest.

Hook is also devious and cunning, so he’s very kind and lovely to you (Apart from kidnapping, tying you up, gagging and keeping you hostage from sunlight and freedom of course). Treats you so well. Gives you pet names, comforts you when you’re despairing, gives you the best of the food they have, etc. This is all in order to make you love him, so if you ever get the chance to escape, you’ll be fucked up in the mind and heart and you won’t know what to do; Leave, or stay?

Governor Ratcliffe:

Ratcliffe is a cruel, selfish man but… he doesn’t really do anything on his own? He persuades and manipulates people with his words (And SONG!), but he doesn’t even dig for his own gold, my man. So, this may be a slow burn kind of deal.

If you’re one of the natives in a land he’s ‘exploring’, he will most definitely take you back to England and integrate you into European society- whether you like it or not (Most likely not). It’s like what John Rolfe tried to do with Pocahontas, except she was willing. It was her idea to go. You, did not get a choice.

If you’re an British person living in England (Whether you’re a courtier, noble, middle class or servant), then he doesn’t keep you hostage because he’s always out on exhibitions and he doesn’t want his precious to die in his home from starvation while he’s away. Its not like he can ask a neighbour to come by and feed his prisoner every day!

But he does make it clear to you that while he’s gone, if you so much as look at another man then he will find out, and they will disappear the next day. You assume he has spies, but really he just wants you to think that. But he’s so scary and straight faced and stern, that you believe him 100 percent. You unconditionally believe that this powerful (Much more powerful then you), influential, intimidating man who clearly has an unhealthy obsession with you, has spies watching you the whole time he’s away.

Its worse though when he is home in England, and he is the one watching you. His gaze feels like gristle and you’re afraid and get a sick taste in your mouth every time you’re alone because he will follow you and you’re afraid he’ll come.

He manipulates people into thinking you two are a couple.

In other words: He operates in plain sight. He is showing his feelings for you and possessiveness over you in plain sight… so it’d be very, very hard for you to escape.

Jafar:

Never. Stops. Cornering you alone. It’s like he has some kind of ‘Y/N senses’ that alert him when you’re alone in the palace and he’ll come a running.

It’s very creepy and very dangerous, with him. And, I don’t want to say you should carry around a weapon… but… have a get-away strategy, at least. Our man’s a creeper. I mean, usually not quite as bad as Frollo, but that’s just because he has other priorities like power and revenge in the movies, but as he is yandere here… you are his number 1 priority.

Jafar is different o other Yanderes in that he genuinly enjoys scaring you. This isnt all just an elaborate scheme to have you for himself and all that, no. Although that is part of it. He also just loooooves messing with you in this way.

For a while you’re pretty safe, because he gets such a kick out of turning up around you and creeping you out a bit with off compliments that are a little bit too vulgar for public and a decibel too loud and lightly touching you so spiders creep up your spine. Not in any inappropriate spots, not that that matters when you don’t want to be touched, but it’s not like he’s trying to cop a feel, you know? He just likes seeing you flustered and making sure you know that he could do whatever he liked, whenever he wants.

Eventually he’ll get bored of that though, because the more you talk to him or look at him, or respond at all to his presence, the more he wants you. To be around you, as often as possible.

And, more importantly, alone. He doesn’t like other people getting to be around you. That’s a gift for him, alone. He wants to be in a relationship with you in every sense of the word, but he wants it so you have a relationship with no one but him.

So, yeah… A sprinkle of kidnapping...

He will always like to see you a little scared of him every now and then. Throughout this whole ordeal, man, you will be on your toes.

Maleficent:

She starts out pretty nicely, actually! Just, after you meet, she starts visiting you every week and having lunches or teas with you and chatting! It’s nice! She’s smart, and clever, and surprisingly funny in that devious dark way that that makes you wonder how serious she actually is.

And as it turns out, surprising both of you actually (You more than her obviously, because she is the Mistress of All Evil. She’s just like ‘Oh’, and you’re like ‘Oh fuck’), she’s deadly serious.

Because one day, she’s leaving your forest cottage al happy with that nice, warm, gooey, lovely feeling in her chest and tiny foreign smile on her face and she looks back one last time as you close the door and get back to the rest of your life, and suddenly feels a horrible tightness in her chest. Begging her to go back to you and stay there. Like when you watch your parent drive off after leaving you at school and you have the sudden urge to call them back because now you’re stuck in this awful place.

Because, now everywhere is an awful place when you aren’t with her.

And this will not do.

Her very next visit is when things get turbulent, because she isn’t a procrastinator.

You have your tea and your bickies and your chat, and its wonderful- because like hell Mal’s gonna miss out on her chat with you! No, the stealing you can wait until after. But then, when it is over, she reveals her true intentions and your lovely friendship is destroyed. Now she is the evil villain who kidnapped you and won’t let you leave her scary castle.

She’s happy, though. And that’s what matters to her.

[popculturebuffet]

Scotrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the World (The Comic)

Hello, Hello, Hello scottaholics! And what a beautiful day it is: After decades lost in the lost woods, at least it had that catchy tune to keep it company, Scott Pilgrim Vs the World: The Game is FINALLY back and performing for you on all platforms!

Even Stadia, the platform most likely to disappear like this game did for a while! Cheap shots at the stadia aside as a huge fan of the franchise as a whole and of this game who played it back on the 360, and had since sold said 360 so I had no way to get it back or ever play the dlc packs. Seriously who didn’t want to play wallace but never got to? Everyone, everyone is the answer. But with those the entirety of what I consider to be the main cast is playable, it has online so you can beat up hipsters, guys in costumes and robots with your friends, it’s a good damn feeling.  And since i’m in a celebratory mood, naturally i’m also feeling like a review. And since it just so happens the next volume up in my look at the comics is Vs the World, seriously I planned this review for this month without thinking to have it come out on the same day as the game until a week or two in, I felt there was no better way to celebrate the biggest day for Scott Pilgrim fans in some time.. and for Brian Lee O Malley as he’ll stop getting twitter asks about it. So with all the exposition taken care of LAST TIME, and the link right there if your curious, we can jump right in. On with the show!

After our opening titles, and yes this comic has opening titles, with Ramona sitting solmely in the rain. 

And Scott caught in the title. The rain shot is real pretty by the way. But yeah once we get past those we’re taken back 7 years ago. Finn found out his father was an asshole, and voiced by Stephen Root so hey you take the good with the bad, Steven just learned the horrifying truth about Gem Monsters, Guardians of the Galaxy saved the MCU and I was trying to find work after college.. wait... sorry sorry that was 7 years ago from THIS year. The comic came out in 2005, though the comic takes place on a sliding timescale where only like 2 years pass so I dunno when this is. Let’s just say 98.  Okay so 1998: Bill Cllinton’s sex scandal breaks, and puts way too much of hte blame on the young intern whose life came to be defined by one stupid mistake she made with a man who was way older and should’ve known better, the tide of the Monday Night War turned in favor of the WWF as Stone Cold Steve Austin became a household name, and it was an utterly standup year for video game relaases with Ocarina of Time, Banjo-Kazooie, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, StarCraft, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, WWF: War Zone, Pokemon Stadium, Spyro The Dragon, Pokemon Yellow, WarioLand 2, Oddworld: Abe’s Exodus, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Pokemon: Trading Card Game and Sonic Adventure. It’s like someone took a good chunk of my childhood and squeezed it into one year holy shit, I did not expect this when looking up what came out in 98. 

And while the movie pool wasn't’ quite this amazing, we still had The Wedding Singer, The Big Lebowski, the dude abides, Batman and Mr Freeze: SubZero, The Truman Show, Mulan, the good one not the one made near concetration camps that makes her into a demigod, Saving Private Ryan, Blade, Simon Birch, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, Rushmore, Bride of Chucky, HalloweenTown, Plesantville, and the Prince of Egypt. And in music Weird Al changed from his first signature look to his second, getting Lasik and growing out his hair. Seirously had no idea that was this year. Good to know. Also Elton John got his knighthood. Super shooters. I could go on with 1998 triva for days but I cannot go on for 8 weeks so let’s get to the point here.. during alllla this  Scott Pilgrim, age 16, was starting St. John’s Catholic School and a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble. . by threatning to beat him up for no real reason. A fight insues and we cut to the principal’s office as Scott’s still a minor and not allowed to get into death fights just yet under the people’s freedom of choices and voices act. 

It’s here he meets Lisa Miler, a peppy and sarcastic blonde, who’s intrigued by the fact Scott somehow got beat up after being here just 15 minutes and wants to be friends. Naturally for scott next we see him he’s busy playing video games, and annoyed someone else is around and wondering who this person whose now in his basement is. God no wonder teenage me related to him. So for the next few pages we see their friendship in time lapse: Lisa joins him at lunch, then geninely wonders since Scott’s Untentionally a dick if he hates her.. it’s part of why I think Scott has some form of autisim. And not just because I tend to belivie a character is on the spectrum all the damn time, it’s because of the way he acts: while he is nice and charming at times.. he also clearly has trouble relating to people or realizing how his actions effect them and as seen here in a younger form can often be compeltely distanced from normal social queues, not getting how his actions might be seen until Lisa outright talks to him about it. I mean.. it’s not a huge stretch, and it dosen’t mean he’s nto responsible for his own actions, but it does EXPLAIN a lot of them better: why he just sorta forgets about Knives post-ramona but at the same time still cares enough he dosen’t want to hurt her despite you know, that ship sailing just by having moved on. 

But now the two are friends and his parents, who we meet for the first time and sister inquire about her being his girlfirned.. and by next jumpcut his parents apparently don’t want him hanging out with girls? What exactly the fuck? Also they mention Laurence, Scott’s brother whose missing for most of the books and has no real payoff for not being around. Next cut we get KIM!

Thank you Prissy. And she’s.. not all that different, assuming, correctly that their partner project, how she meets scott will just result in her doing all the work.. which not only is how these things usually went when I was in high school a decade later, but reminds me of the time me and my friends curtis and justin were put on a project and when asked who the alied powers were, guessed “Germany?”.... you can understand my fear. And also Curtis punching him for getting nothing done.. and not hard or brutally mind you just once quick in the gut and with full warning. Ah... the adaquate old days. 

So back to Lisa as, since Scott’s Mom has a guitar.. a fact I.. never honestly thought about. Seriously I never realized her children, since the Bass Scott has for most of the books is Laurence’s, getting into music was probably due to her. Also Lisa makes her case for WHY be a band: the school has a regular event called Lunchapalooza, where everyone goes to and since by teen logic, just being in a band is automiacally cool, she figures they can jump from not QUITE being in any cliques to being super cool. Which honestly yeah... while I didn’t know any bands in high school, the fact one of my friends, ironically named Scott, was a DJ automatically made him pretty damn cool once he got past his awkard phase. I never got past mine but somehow was loved by all except that one douchey kid in our group who mocked me for naming my Luxray kim, assuming it was based on Kim possible and not Kim Pine... though frankly how that’s an insult when Kim Possible was a fucking awesome show and character is beyond me but he was just 17 and also a douchebag, it didn’t have to make since it just had to piss off the easily pissed off kid with aspergers. So Scott poses how they can be a band with just their guitars and Lisa concedes drums WOULD help.. I mean it’s what MADE Shallow Gravy. 

So while Kim wonders if Scott is dating Lisa, because teenagers don’t really get girls and boys can be friends without wanting to be together, though not often as teenage boy brains can be rather stupid and horny... can confrim from personal experince. So it becomes clear Scott has a thing for Kim, and when Scott tries broaching it with Lisa she dosen’t take it well and he backpedals to asking her to be her drummer and plans to monday, proving Scott has somehow not gotten better at reading women, or anyone after 7 years. Can relate. 

So yeah he decides to ask Monday, same day as their presentation.. and thankfully missed the bus as he arrives to find the Benvy Tech boys came in, took everyone out and abducted Kim. Because yeah, just in case you were wondering Scott’s life was always like this.. or was it? Questions for later. So one Canadian Version of River City Ransom later, Scott’s made his way to simon... who, since most of you have probably seen the movie or art of the movie.. looks an AWFUL lot like Gideon. Hrmmm. Simon is naturally the final boss here and wonders if this is the best St. Joels can muster. Scott quips back as only Scott can. 

So cue an unsuprisingly awesome actoin sequence. IT’s part of why I love these color editions: While they already LOOKED thoroughly fantastic the added colors really help the series shonen manga meets old school video game vibe REALLY fucking pop. So Simon pleads mercy which like Scott delivering a good quip.. should’ve really been a red flag to younger me and is foreshadowing for later in case I was too subtle. He then does what any noble hero would do.. kicks simon into the sunset, tells Kim how he feels and asks her to play drums. They then make out. Awwww. 

Lisa suprisingly takes it well as the next montage shows.. granted we’ll learn in Feburary she wasn’t QUITE as over scott as it seemed, but the three, along with a friend of Lisa’s whose name I forgot and who DOSEN’T come back so I’m not going to bother learning, form their own friend group, Scott and Kim get an A, and Scott, Kim and Lisa’s band is dubbed sonic and knuckles, which is an objectively awesome band name. Something the series really does great: Video Game Based Band Names. Crash and the Boys, Sex Bomb-Omb, Clash at the Demonhead... we need more bands like this in the real world dammit. So then they play their big game, the two loose their vrigniity.. and then Kim asks scott “your moving to tornoto?” And.. for now.. that’s that. 

While the framing of that will be VERY important in the last volume, as notice how KIM’S the one who brings it up and it’s not explicitly stated scott actually told her, this flasback is great. While it does contribute to the volume’s drifty pacing, more  on that as we go, it brilliantly sets up a LOT of stuff for later, paticuarlly Lisa who I assumed wouldn’t be back and younger me’s jaw fucking DROPPED when she popped up in Volume 4. Granted i’m spoiling that suprise for you now but odds are most of you reading this have either alreaddy read these or were probably wondering if the girl from the animated short ever had any actual relevance in the books. So yes, yes she does. She’s also the pink haired girl you see pop up in the game in the background, as a nod to O’Malley’s comic strip style which had her and Kim as the leads.  Also yeah for fans of the game or movie or even the comics who were unaware.. this prologue got an animated adaption on adult swim to promote the movie. Naturally Micheal Cera and Allison Pill reprised their roles as Scott and Kim, with Mae Whitman voicing lisa.. and honestly being perfect for the roll, and Jason Schrwartzman voicing Simon naturally. While the animation is slightly limited, it still looks decent and expertly translates O’Malley’s art, while sliming things down slightly where needed to fit a short, and the anmation takes a huge bump for the fight scene which like the comic is short but awesome. While it has no real bearing on the film as Kim’s former relationship with Scott never really comes up or has any impact, as the Film while good was based primarily on volumes 1-3 with small pieces of 4 (paticuarlly the iconic “Lesbians gag”), with Wright working off outlines and drafts of 5 and 6, so the last half hour or so is mostly Wright’s invention. 

Not a bad thing as it’s still awesome and not o’malley’s fault but it means kim dosen’t get to do much, and is a big reason why I want an adaptation on netflix or hbo max. While i’d still want changes both because there’s no sense doing an adaptation if your not going to make some tweaks of your own and because it’d be intresting to update the series to modern day, both in societal conventions and so everyone stops saying the r word. Seirously the most telling sign of the series age is that word showing up quite a bit during the first half of the series. Point is there is merit in doing another remix of the story and doing a longer form one so we can get more of the characters, as well as flesh out ones like Steven, Neil (Who was done WAY better in the movie adaptation thanks to the wonderful Johnny Simmons), and Stacey who got the shaft in the books. Again, not slagging off the movie, it’s really great. Just saying there’s always room for more Scott Pilgrim content and we all know it. 

We’ll get back to the comic proper, and the present day of 2005, after the cut. 

So the story proper opens with Scott dreaming of playing video games... because of course he is with Ramona walking in. and finding it charmingly pathetic but wanting her boyfriend to you know, get out of bed. It’s 11:30.  So with Scott’s ass out of bed, we find Scott, Age 23 idiot with a heart of gold and Wallace, 25 king of all gays, on the bus as they talk it getting warmer and Lucas Lee, movie star and jason lee stand in coming to town to film a movie.. and Scott being Scott gets him confused for Luke WIlson. He’s also seen Bottle Rocket which.. good on him. Seriously while not wes anderson’s best film, those were made long afte this comic was published, it’s still a damn good one.. where was his career at this point... looking it up life aquatic was his most recent films and is still one of my favorites. So yeah he was in a good place career wise. 

Scott proudly talks about having Ramona over in a couple days so she can see his place and meet Wallace. But as explained by Wallace for those of us just tuning in, he already met her last volume. You know during that time Stacey thought she could magically make her date not be attracted to someone else.. and yes even almost a month later not letting that one go. Stacey should know better. Not saying i’ts right Wallace keeps poaching her boyfriends, but she still shoudlnt’ try and force a relationship with a guy or even finish a date with one who makes out with someone else, regardless of gender, mid date. She deserves better. In general not just in this one scenario but we’ll get to that. 

Point is while Scott, as usual, is a bit pissy about this Wallace.. has no time for that and issues an ultimatium

And he’s not bluffing, as he fully intends to tell Ramona the minute she walks in the door if he dosen’t break up with Knives. It really shows Wallace off at his best and why he’s Scott’s closest friend: Kim and Stephen do care about him but Kim both has a LOT of unresolved issues and sexual tension with him and keeps eveyrbody including Scott at arm’s length. And Stephen.. while he will OCASIONALLY call Scott out mostly just enables him, either ignoring his college buddy’s shittier behavior or playing along with it and backing him up when Kim rightfully calls him on being a dickhead. While both love their friend they just aren’t the best at dealing with his shit or getting why he does the things he does good and bad.  Wallace on the other hand geninely likes Scott. He’ll lock him out of the house and tell him to sleep elsewhere so he can bang one out, he’ll not wear pants if he dosen’t have to and he’ll certainly hit on Scott just to get a rise out of him, phrasing.. but he also genuinely cares for the guy’s well being. He lets him sleep in their house basically rent free since scott has no money, buys most of their stuff, and is, as we’ll see in this one, the ONLY one of his friends to take an active part in the fight against the exes, training Scott and researching his opponents when he can get info. He won’t baby Scott as seen here, but he will help him, and he will be the harsh voice of reason his friend needs.  And he did TRY doing a softer approach last time, simply telling scott to break up with his fake high school girlfriend. Scott had every chance to dump Knives during the last third of the first book.. it’s just a combination of both Knives and Ramona being in the same place and Scott getting panicky meant he balked. He NEEDS to be pushed into leaving Knives or he’s not gonna. And he also gets it’s not just Scott being a shifty coward: Scott DOES like Knives.. he just found someone who actually challenges him, intrests him and connects with him on his level, versus someone who worships and adores him like a puppy who just happens to be skilled with knives. The relationship with Knives. was an ego boost, an unequal paring that gave Scott the illusion of moving on from Envy. Ramona is him ACTUALLY moving on and given how badly Envy fucked him up, which comes into play in this book and the next, Wallace recognizes that Scott does need her... but this relationship can’t go anywhere if Scott is seeing someone else, and they both know it. Wallace is just the one who’s willing to do something about it to force scott to do something about it. He’s doing this for Knives too: it’s very clear he cares about the girl, was against this from the start, and knew this was going to end in pain and the faster Scott rips off the Band-Aid the faster she can move on to someone closer to her age and far more equal to her. Scott.. takes this about how you’d expect, even calling Double Standard, as Wallace does sleep around.. and while Wallace will be a homewrecker to Stacey.. otherwise it’s not remotley the same. Wallace does his sleeping around either casually or when he does get a partner, with their consent from what we can tell. He never cheats or anything, he just likes to bone. So yeah Scott doesn’t have a leg to stand on and acts accordingly. 

One of my faviorite gags in the series and one that’s etched in my head for keeps. So with a justified Ultimatium over his head Scott calls knives to hang out. Knives.. shows off that as adorable and trusting as she is.. she’s also kind of creepy and shows up just outside the phone booth he’s calling her from.  So the two go to a record store and Knives tries to get Scott into Clash at the Demonhead, her faviorite band. But since i’ts you know, headlined by Scott’s ex as we’ll find out, he’s not into it. But before that can get awkward.. it gets awkward in another way as Knives invites Scott to dinner at her parents place. Which is an objectively bad idea even before you get into the fact Scott wants a way out and as Volume 4 will show us her dad is both not happy with the idea of her dating a white guy and willing to use a katana to prevent it so he dodged a bullet there. Scott TRIES weasling out of it, but his “I’m too old for you” thing falsls on deaf ears.. and actually explains why she thinks this is normal: her parents are 9 years apart. of course obviously two consenting adults with a decade between them is a mite bit diffrent than 5 years between a teenager whose taking this way too seriously and a grown man whose taking this not seroiusly at all and dosen’t get how effed up this is. But Knives is too naive to get that, and papers over any possible concerns about her parents not wanting her to date a white guy with i’m in love.  Seeing that he has no EASY way out of this, as he shouldn’t, Scott just rips off the band aid and bluntly breaks up with her, saying it’s not going to work out. Knives.. is clealry devistatd. To her this was a serious relationship.. and Scott realized that too late.. and thankfully while he didn’t break up with her in the best way, at all, simply syaing i’ts not going to work out and confirming to her he means it, it’s clear from his face this hurts to do and he knows he’s REALLY hurting her and REALLY shoudlnt’ of dated her to begin with. IT’s why Scott dating a teenager dosen’t make him a morally rephrenisvie monster: because he was genuinely intrested, didn’t use her sexually, and there are tangible consequences for his actions. Knives just dosen’t disappear neatly into the sunset so he can be with ramona. The rest of the series covers her emotoinal recovery from being with Scott, and how she very horribly handles it and that’s why this plotline works at all: she’s not some act one contrivance to be thrown away, sh’es a human being, and more than that a young woman who got hurt REALLY bad and got way too in over her head with someone who just..wasn’t the one fo rher no matter how much she can’t admit that. 

We also get one of my faviorite sets of pages as Scott relfects on things and the sheer devistation on Knives face, which credit to a series that even at this early point loves it’s big bold facial expressions.. her’s being more subded just makes it sting MORE. 

This bit to me is vital to keeping Scott sympathetic and to his character. We see he really does regret what happened, dosen’t know how to process it and genuinely feels awful. As I said instead of some exgerated face that would still hurt him.. her face is quiet, clearly unable to process this and clealry lost and hurt.. and that hurts more than any fuck your or sobs he was probably expecting. Just her clearly not getting WHY he’s doing this or why he hurt her, and he KNOWS why he just knows telling her the truth would hurt her even more. But.. as he thinks.. his thoughts move to something else.. and the WHY of why he did this. 

He did it for Ramona. Wallace was as harsh as he was right: he needed a clean slate to actually give this relationship a shot and the smile comes off less as him being a calous dick whose just happy to move on, I mean he is a little, but more jus tsomeone READY to finally move on. He found the right person, he let the wrong one go if clumsily.. he has a future to look forward to and he can smile about that. 

Granted he’s still his usual unteitonally callous self and his way of telling his friends he and knives broke up is to casually say so and say “dont’ worry you’ll meet my new girlfriend soon.” Their reaction.. is my own. 

Look just because Scott is a nuanced douchebag dosne’t stop him from being a Douchebag. It just means he isn’t intolerable to watch and you actually care about him growing as a human being is all. 

So with that out of the way, it’s date night and Ramona is coming over.. also Scott is considering calling her Ramy which no. I'm genuinely in favor of a pet name that’s just a variant on someone’s name but a bit cute, as it’s just the right level of obnoxious, but no, just no Scott. No.  Ramona enters, meets Wallace again and sits down while Scott tries to shoo him out.. because turnabout is fair play bitch. They also see Ramona’s new hair as she dyes it something new for the first time, in this case a very lovely two tone, the purple from last volume but with a darker purple bellow it. I honestly wish she went for multiple colors in her hair again, but likely didn’t since the book was originally in black and white... which still dosent’ make sense as it would’ve been EASIER that way. Regardless Wallace makes himself scarce proving that he’s more than willing to be equal in terms of one of them spending the ngiht elsewhere. What a guy. 

Ramona finds out a few things about Scott: That his apartment is VERY small, just one room with a bed, a cabinet, a small kitchen and a bathroom, which despite what scott says I REALLY dont’ count as another room. Just common sense. She also learns that he can COOK. Yeah while you’d expect Scott to just get a wad of “I did the ultimatum thing okay now gimme” money and buy dinner but no.. he made the whole thing himself from his own recipe.  And once we cut to them eating on the floor.. turns out yeah he not only can cook but is REALLY good at it. She wishes there was a table which, small as the place is.. fair point. I mean at least get some tv trays. You have chairs. Or at least the easy chair. You can get nice padded folding chairs so you have a second chair guys. I know your poor but come on. Also Scott leanrs bread makes you fat. Good stuff. Also Scott freaks out when , while making out with Ramona in bed later, she mentions his hair’s getting kinda long and could use a cut... which turns out to be a thing for him. He isn’t an ass about it he just panics a bit because he’s partially convinced his last relationship’s nightmarish breakup was because of a bad haircut he got. As we’ll see next week, that’s a no but as someone whose a touch neroutic myself I get blaming a larger issue on something trivial. 

So we then get to the next chapter where it’s KIM’S turn to have a dream.. and the only time we see someone else's dreams. Honestly.. I really would’ve liked if it was a recurring device, even have Ramona pop into other people’s Not used ALL the time but I could easily see it being used with Knives to convey her obsession with Scott and her pain or kim again to help move her plots along or Wallace because I want to know what’s going on in his head. It must be a maze of male gentalia and fine liquor the likes of which has never been seen. It’s scotts funeral as Simon killed him and Scott’s corpse wonders if she dreams about this a lot. 

So we see her get ready and wake up her roomate Sarah whose a bitch. And as we’ll see in one of the backups, so’s the rest of her roommates. So drifting into work. Hollie is a character I really liked... the past tense will be explained later. And the first scene is probably why as her and Kim banter effortlessly, with Kim suggesting maybe she was a happy kid... only to admit quickly no she wasn’t, she was pretty withdrawn and then pretty angsty over someasshole who will be named Scott. “Your a holy terror kim, and i’m glad your on your side”> It’s a short scene but the kind this series excells at: just realistic, fun little exchanges bursting with character. I also GENUINELY wish we got more of this kind of thing, as only Knives really gets these kind of scenes to herself for the most part. There ARE scenes without Scott, but not enough like this that just give us as look into what his friends lives are like during the moments they aren’t putting up with his dumbassery or watching him engage in mortal combat. It’s why i’ve been hoping a spinoff will happen even though it likely won’t SOON. I’m sure O’Malley will return to this world some day, but between Snotgirl and Wicked World, which will come out when it’s ready but should be good.. he’s just really busy. But i’d love to see more of Kim.. or Wallace or Knives. The latter two are a no brainer: Knives is the tritagonist of the books, and it’d be intresting to see what she’d be like 5 years at the book, at the same age and stage in life as Scott. And with Wallace it’s because we really DON’T see his friend circle, life or what goes on with him. We hear him talk about a new boyfriend, who we don’t meet until near the end of the series, though you can see him in stage 3 of hte game if your curious, we see him with some random friends in volume 4, but we really don’t KNOW what hyjinks and lojinks wallace gets up to. He’s pretty isoalted from the rest of the main cast, something I hope an adaptation could fix as while realistic i’td be curious to see what his relationship with Kim or Steven would be like. Just food for thought. 

Point is this was a good scene. But as is typical for Kim’s life just when she has some serenity her ex crashes back in. In this case Scott needs to rent some movies, kim works at a rental store and god teenage me really wanted a clerks style spinoff.. but enough spinoff talk. Scott asks kim to bororw them, of course and explains he’s training for his fight with Lucas.. which Kim reacts to finding out her second best friend is in a series of death matches. 

She has understandable questions such as how the hell doe she know that and is he stalking Lucas and just hoping he’s an ex.. which let’s face it would be a very scott move. But nope Wallace told him, likely learning in an interview he dated Ramona or is coming for scott because he knows everything. We also get one of my faviorite exchanges when Kim wonders why Wallace and Scott are roomates.. a valid question he deflects by saying i’ts a long story. 

Also yeah, as much as casting Micheal Cera backfired for the movie.. that panel there proves there wasn’t another choice at the time. When you want a loveable, somewhat douchey, but also somewhat innocent and oblivious slacker.. who you gonna call. Also before we move on.. Kim.. how are you this suprised. You were there for the fight with Matthew. And Ramona giving out the exposition on why he’s there.. and you even did that whole weird space channel 5 thing no one ever did agian and to this day I will never understand what O’Malley was going for and only know the refrence by hearing that’s what it was. Point is you shouldn’t be this suprised.  Anyways we next cut to Ramona and Stacey, as Ramona enters her workplace, second cup, and they talk and Scott’s spider sense goes off... 

I mean it’s just a bad feeling but still.. weird. WE’ll get back to that later. Scott is in the middle of his training.. and I love the mentor side of Wallace and feel it didn’t get used enough as the series went on. As said before he cares about Scott, so he serves as his Shounen Mentor and a great one: he’s stern and makes Scott work, but he also gets his student and what Scott needs to work. I just wish he’d taught Scott some actual combat, but as we see Wallace’s combat skills boil down to yelling useless info from the sidelines.. I mean he can be useful, we’ll see that next week, it’s just he’s not an action guy. But spirtually he’s the guy scott needs to kick his ass into shape. That being said his “training” consists of watching Lucas’ movies, playing tony hawk and when Scott wants to play more Tony Hawk, having Scott do pushups while Wallace plays Tony Hawk.  Before we turn... there is an elephant in the room I just gotta shoo out: Lucas.. is easily the worst setup of the 6 exes. Patel SEEMINGLY comes out of nowhere but his letter and email hint SOMETHING is coming up, and his flashy dynamic entry intro is damn cool and is what turns the series on it’s head, from an indie comic about a guy getting it together.. to that but with huge shonen dustups with epic visuals. Todd is introduced masterfully here, and is a presence from the start of volume 3 as a result, Roxie gets a slight tease in the free comic book day issue, and her not attacking for two months not only sets up tension but allowed for a red herring.. im’ not only hiding that the fourth ex is a she because anyone whose seen the movie or played the game knows the fourth ex is a woman. The cat’s out of the bag, no sense hiding it. The Kentangis show up pretty early on and Gideon is hinted at and built up, as this towering, mysterious figure, his relationship with Ramona, who he is, why he set up the league, and just how fucking strong he is is all obscured, with his only four apperances simply teasing the big final showdown and giving him that much more mysitque. 

Lucas.. is just sorta intorduced like “Hey I gotta fight this guy”. There’s just.. nothing. Scott’s just gotta fight him because he’s next up and Wallace knows that because plot convience. It’s VERY lackluster given what comes before.. and frankly while I like Lucas, he’s the weakest plot and character wise. HE’s not even really EVIL, just a sellout and is more doing this because he has to I guess, and likely because of stuff we find out in Book 6 but sssssshhhhh. We’ll get more into that when the fight happens but it’s one of the books weakest points. The evil ex.. just feels like an afterthrought again despite there being no reason to. Thankfully this would never happen again as I said, but it dosen’t make this any less frustrating. 

So we cut to Sex Bomb-Omb practice, and after that we get more tease for Clash at Demonhead. And Stephen.. is cool with them and entirely happy one of them made it, while Scott is understandably pisssed off about it and not happy one of his best friends is you know, promoting the band of his ex who broke his heart and as we’ll get more into next time, said rising career is what tore them apart. So yeah Stephen’s a dickhead, and I was wrong last time that he got better. He really.. dosen’t. He gets less CREEPY.. but out of the main 6 characters he’s the weakest: he dosen’t have much of an arc, does some very questionable shit in the second half, and his being around means we have to suffer through Julie. I’ll tear into him more on a case by case basis but for once Scott’s not overreacting. While Kim does nothing she also has no idea just HOW bad things were and Scott won’t tell her. Stephen was there the whole fucking time. He just saw Scott’s rebound with a teenager. He knows he was kind of messed up after this. Dosen’t justfiy knives but still he looses the moral high ground he tries to have at times. 

So while Scott shops a song for Ramona to her, Knives calls Scott’s place clearly setting up another suprise apperance. Wallace.. figures out what sh’es doing quick and simply gives her a stern “You have to go” And to me it’s not him being a dick.. he’s both trying to save her from seeing Scott with Ramona and fucking her up worse... and is looking out for her. She needs to move on and moving up to stalking Scott’s not going to help that. Scott dosen’t WANT her anymore, and while he handled it bad, Wallace gets she needs to see that. Granted he could’ve you know explained it to her and tried talking, but as i’ve said he’s not a perfect person and he was also on a time table to get her out of there in case Scott you know, showed up with his new girlfriend and made things a billion times worse. And the two are indeed headed to his place to watch one of Lucas’ movies, and part of that weak setup is that Ramona.. just has no connection with him. It was high school. Scott also pretends he dosent’ remember his. You are a lying liar sir stop that.  So they watch the film together hanging out, and it’s.. really bad. The good one was rented out. I miss rental stores.. a magical time. I mean i’ts better now, streaming means 80% of movies are avaliable if you have a bunch of services and even if you just have netflix or hulu or hbo max, you still get a pretty decent selection each month. Plus digital rentals are super easy. Do miss redbox though. I mean it’s still there I’m just warry of something that relies so heavily on touching things in a state with a lot of trump morons. You CAN get Covid twice and I don’t wanna. Also we get some dated Dialouge as Scott commenting on Lucas being hot, he is good taste Scott, is given a “good job convincing me your not gay”. He and ramona end up having sex though so .. yay? I dunno. The series has a really weird thing about not getting bisexuals exist and as someone whose bi, and really against bi errasure it bothers me, it bothers me a lot. Though given O’Malley apparently has not only far more queer rep in snotgirl but a bisexual lead, he’s clearly learned so i’m not going to drag him too hard on this. It was the early 2000′s. People were pretty damn stupid about this. Creators have gottten MUCH more important issues much worse. 

So the next morning, Scott gets a call from his well meaning but ditzy mom, and reacts like you’d expect. His parents are in Europe to keep them out of the action and what not. Though apparently according to the last book his mom did read volume 3 at least. Or Wallace told her about the relevant bit. You make the call. 

So i’ts Ramona’s turn to meet Sex Bomb-Omb. The group hang out and discuss Gordon Downie. 

Look I don’t know indie bands. I have no idea who the tragically hip are I just know the name is really hipstery. We also get the recipe for Vegan Shepards Pie. None of them are vegan they just wanted to try it and I.. really want to make this some time. Just to see if it’s any good. But yeah it’s in general a fun casual scene, as Kim reveals she and Scott dated, just to break the tension, and Scott tries out Rammy but quickly backpedals. Just fun slice of life stuff. Oh and Knives is watching them from the window and takes Scott dating someone else as well as you’d expect. 

So she gets some hair bleach to do some highlights and calls her friend Tamara over. We met her last volume as she dragged her along to the show, but it’s here we really get to know what she’s like.. i.e. the sane one in the duo, rightfully pointing out Scott’s not that great. Also Knive’s points out ramona’s “fat”, which is thankfully portrayed as petty sniping as while Ramona does have some curves it’s you know.. not remotely a bad thing and the kind of thing a teenage girl would harp on. Still she’s just in STEPS from this happening. 

But yeah.. it’s clear here Knives has some underlying issues to address and really needs therapy  not to go after her ex’s current girlfriend with knives. I mean it’s in the name but still. Then again volume 4 has her dad going around with a katana or something like it wanting to murder her daughter’s older ex boyfriend he dosen’t realize is ex so it’s clear her whole FAMILY needs some therapy. But this does round her out and show there’s more to her.. a pretty violent and obessive side sure, but it shows she wasn’t just some one dimensional ego boost for scott but a person. One whose just as flawed as the rest of the cast.. but more sympatheic because they’ve all got about 6 or 7 years on her and at this age that’s a lifetime. And while Scott DID set this off by dating her which was objecitvely a bad idea... the rest of this isn’t remotely on him. He handled things BAD.... but all he wanted was for both of them to move on. Knives.. simply can’t admit Scott is not a nice person, was probably two timing her as Tamara points out, which as we know he 100% was, and is not some perfect guy she can’t replace: like Knives.. he’s just a person with faults and she’s too blind to see that. 

So before we can get to the crazy stalker ninja fight, let’s instead get to Scott and Ramona hanging out where we meet Gideon, Ramona’s Cat who i’ll call Cat Gideon, both because I love steven unvierse and because it’s less confusing. This is a pretty slight scene as Ramona admits not a lot happened with Lucas and Scott’s apartment is a hole.. which yeah, yeah it is. Also she DEFINTLY dind’t cheat on him with any cocky pretty boys. Which would come off worse if it wasn’t for the pact Ramona was clearly doing it out of regret and Scott just liked like 50 pages ago about rembering his exes when one of them is his second best friend.. which neither would admit but you know it’s true. Stephen is third where he belongs. 

So next morning it’s fight time, and Scott is glad wallace is going with him. It’s awkard going to fights alone. Which leaves me to wonder if before this comic Scott just.. fought random guys letterkenny style. Like they’d call up, schedule it and then he and one or more of his friends would go beat up a guy. It’s just.. hilarious knowing that this kind of thing is common in canda minus the ki attacks , flash effects, wizards, vegan psycics, ninjas, and roboticists. But damn I now want a scott pilgrimized letterkenny now more than ever. You know you do too don’t deny it. I”d love to see the hard right jay fight but iwth a loud “KO!” when he gets his ass knocked out. Also Casa Loma is a very real, very cool Toronto location, as I never realized as a kid, to the point that the lucas fight was filmed there for the movie. 

So Scott approaches Lucas a bit star struck and upon finding out scott is.. punches him out as seen in the header image and throws him into a tower. When Scott regains conciousness, Kim and Neil have arrived and Lucas calls a time out. And it’s here we get to, while being the weakest of the 7, why I like Lucas.. he’s actually a pretty nice guy. At WORST he sold out. But the two have a pretty nice conversation over ritz and baby carrots, with it turning out, unsuprisingly Ramona did cheat on him with a cocky pretty boy, and while like Ramona he’s clearly moved on, it still hurts a bit and understandably so. He also warns scott while she might seem nice i’ts an act. 

I mean it isn’t ALL an act, but she does have a tedency to put up walls and act pretty badly as we’re slowly finding out.. though given Scott does the exact same it only means.. she’s human. She’s not MUCH higher above him in terms of morality and this is where we get our first peaks into the fact the series isn’t just about Scott’s development but hers. But it’s understandably absent from volumes 1 and 2 since we need to know her first, and this volume is about getting to know her a bit and get a feel for who she is, something I ddin’t really get a grip on as a teen, but do now. We see more of who she is good and bad as the walls go down. She’s more SURFACE LEVEL functional than scott, but beneath it has a lot of the same exact issues.  Lucas and Scott continue to GENUINELY bond, as Scott genuinely thinks the guy is talented and Lucas want’s an Oscar this year.. maybe not for the current film which is a romantic comedy with a teen star but hey, stars have done far worse in their Oscar years. I mean at least he’s not making a comedy about himself in a fat suit domestically abusing himself in a wig while he also plays an asian sterotype. He explains he almost didn’t get into the league but felt too important to ramona’s past.. plus he looks cool. Plus they let Patel in despite barely being in a relationship with her and being kind of a tool so they kinda had to let the handsome affiable movie star in. Scott wonders “wait league” and Lucas is understandably frustrated to find out Patel just sent a letter Scott didn’t read.. and at Matthew let’s be clear. I mean.. Gideon has to have known Scott wouldn’t read that since he’s been in his head. We’ll get to that in part 6. Point is they formed a league, hence why their organized enough to come after him like this and Scott understandably glares at Wallace for you know, having him play tony hawk and watch movies yet missing the fucking obvious clue they were all working together and they were only coming at him one at a time by choice. 

Lucas offers to just.. take a bribe and SAY Scott beat him, Scott calls him a sellout jokingly and Lucas proves that while not AS bad as the rest of the League, he’s still a dick by telling him to kiss ramona’s sweet ass goodbye pilgrim. Okay either he’s seen her since high school or he’s fondly remembering a high schooler’s ass. Neither one is nice to think about. But Scott gets out of his ass beating by pointing out a ramp, real thing too used for the movie, and asking him to skate down it. Lucas says i’ts impossible, and Scott just whistles. So Lucas tries skating the impossible and dies via velocity. Yes really. Scott collects his change and gets a gift, a mytryil skateboard he.. can’t use because he dosen’t have a proficency for it and bemoans not picking it up in 5th grade. Also he didn’t get his autograph. He does get some coins though so neat.   Yeah I mentioend Lucas was the least of the exes and I stand by it: He’s an intresting character, not a GREAT person but clearly a charming and nice enough guy who likely offered the bribe not because he’sd a sell out but because he genuinely liked scott, and is easily the best adjusted of the exes. But obviously a near non existant setup and a really hilarious and unsastifying finish just.. don’t really feel sastsifying. I mean i’t slampshaded, but after all the build up of her having 7 evil exes, the next one is just..filler. Not BAD, but not really anything special and giving Scott a an early pokemon victory, but unlike ash having done nothing to really DESERVE it.  Thankfully both adaptations so far VASTLY improved on this. While Lucas is still affiable in the movie he’s also smarmy, if on better terms with Ramona, saying “he seems nice” after the tower throw and throwing in some stunt doubles. His fight goes from one of the least satisfying and weakst of the series, to easily one of the best of the movie. We’ll talk about that more there but obvious Chris Evans version is far superior, keeping the good traits while giving us an intresting fight.. and still keeping the skateboard death because it’s fucking hilarious and the movie improves on THAT too by having scott give flat wows as he slowly dies. The game likewise keeps teh skateboard death, if shortening it, and the skateboard, and while not changing his apperance does make him a hell of a tough boss. Took three tries and some online grinding to take him out. Still a hell of a fight. Point is while I genuinely like Lucas story wise.. this just dosen’t work for me and is pretty damn weak, even if it gives us some godo character insight we could’ve got that, and a fight and still had the finish we did. 

That being said.. we DO get a fight instead, likely why the Lucas fight was so truncated. Next chapter and that evening or the next day or whatever, we pan over the real life tornto refrence library. It is a VERY nice touch thatt the comic and it’s adpations use either real places in toronto or reasonable subsittues. While not canadian myself I love the place and hope to visit Tornoto some day when the world isn’t a living nightmare and it’s really nice that like New York for Marvel, Brian Lee O malley really makes the city feel integral to the comic, like it’s own character. But Knives is ominously perched above.  At second cup Scott is horrified to find Julie. Seconded. Julie takes the moment to give out to scott about him dating Ramona despite telling him no. Okay... 

Yeah as you can probably guess I don’t like Julie. She’s not a good character. The movie did her better, with the bleeping gag and aubrey plaza’s performance, but in the comic.. she’s just the worst. She sucks bad. If she were an ice cream flavor she’d be pralines and dick. While she’s fine on OCCASION, and actually works in the next volume, outside of that she just gets more unplesant, more unlikeable, more bitchy, more unfathomabbly assholish every. damn. volume. I”ll give out about that a bit then too but I have to put up with her for the entire damn comic. Now her being bitchy to Scott is fair to a point: Scott is a mess, and she’s loyal to Envy in the breakup, and Scott’s own friends drag him on a daily basis.  The problems are that she’s like that to EVERYONE, even Knives who isn’t about to stab her much as i’d like that. She’s unberable to Stephen whose tolerance for her is unfathomable, though the ending bits of volume 6 show maybe he just has terrble taste. She’s just a throughly unplesant, social climbing bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone. And it sticks out badly against the main cast; Scott is very bad with women and relating to people, but is also nice, charming and most of the damage he does is not intetional. Ramona puts up walls to keep others out but is also a responsible adult and often cuts through Scott, and at times others, internal bullshit. Wallace is an alcholic, but still a very responsible, very loveable guy who clearly cares about scott and supports him finacially and emotionally. Kim is VERY emotionally distant, very misntrhopic.. but also a good person who as we see as the series goes, has an inner light to her and often drags on Scott because she’s been putting up with his shit the longest and WANTS him to be better. Knives is an obessive and violent stalker.. who was also deeply hurt by an older man, dosen’t GET that her realtionship with scott was wrong and uneven, and is clearly not emtoinallyr eady for the deep feelings she’s having. And Stephen.. well he’s a talented guitarist but also enables scott and julie. Especially him enabling Julie. 

Point is their all pretty well rounded, llikeable characters with flaws. Julie.. is just an ass. And this scene demonstrates that with flying colors. While Scott does ignore her because he’s too worried about his sister and girlfriend becoming friends, understandably given Stacey knows all his dark secrets, Julie spends two pages giving out and treating scott like some bad guy for persuing Ramona against her orders. And i’m going to break down why.. this dosen’t work.. on any level for her.  1) Ramona is not Julie’s property. She’s a big girl with her own free will. They aren’t even remotely close: Julie met her only barely before Scott, and given the dream thing probably not even that. And you could say Julie is just looking out for her... she dosen’t know Ramona well enough to KNOW if Ramona is still smarting over Gideon. She probably was.. but she readily, once the awkwardness passed, went out with scott and dove right into the relationship. While there’s still some scars as we’ll see.. she CHOOSE to move on and that’s her choice. If she wasn’t ready, she woudl’ve turned him down or broke it off by now realizing it was a mistake.  2) Scott has no reason to listen to her. She hates his ass, somewhat justifably but still, she hates him and has been against him since fucking colllege. She took his exes side in the breakup despite Envy still being partly in the wrong but paints him as some abusive dickhead and not just an insesntive dickhead. To him he’s just some villian she needs to reign in for her cool friend who wants nothing to do with her and grows to justifably hate her over time. Scott and Julie TOLERATE each other. They are not friend,s they do not like each other and never will. They are around each other because of Stephen. That is it. If Kim , Wallace or Stephen had asked, or at least made him wait for kinves. he probablyw ould’ve or at least considered it since while they take the piss out of him, they genuinely care about him and actually have shown they care about something other than themselves! Speaking of which the cou de gras 3) She’s a selifsh bitch: She is NEVER not  in any volume seen as out for anyone but herself, and thus scott has no reason to trust her judgement. She berates Stephen, him and anyone who will listen, is only so loyal to envy because she’s famous, and as I said treats EVERYONE like dogshit.  And given Scott is still a very flawed guy.. it takes a LOT for him to be so right and he runs out screaming when Julie mentions her.

So back at the library, Ramona brought Stacey along because the place is a maze. Scott calls Stephen and calls julie evil.. which given the last two paragrahs. Yeah. She is. She really is. But that goes nowhere as he dosen’t have Stacey’s number. He also thinks Julie was responsible for this which while she’s very much not.. would it REALLY be that suprising that if Julie were there she would’ve introdcued the two and set up their little hangout just to piss scott off? God I’m  so sick of talking about her. 

So the two after dropping off Ramona’s package decide to hang out a bit.. not long as Ramona’s got shit to do, but hey I agree with her logic i’m curious about this palce too. But before they can go up an elevator Ramona spots incoming.. and thus we get the fight of the volume. Though given the next one has two climatctic fights and one or two before that, they easily could’ve had both.. this is still the highlight of the volume.  So Ramona snaps off a railing and before Stacey can give out about that she finds out WHY as Knives attacks with a pair of sais. And O’Malley did his homework as while you’d THINK it was just another dumb white person mistake.. O’Malley is asian, thoughw ether he’s candaian korean or canadian chineses, as his last name is korean but he has a large chinese cast in this very comic that might come from experince, I do not know and if you do know tell me. I’d like to refer to him properly as I don’t LIKE lumping all asian cultures into one basket. But not only that he did his home work, as Sai’s, while popularized in Okinawa Japan, were also used in other countries. I bring this up since I assumed it was just a simple mistake even knowing Brian was mixed-race, and was plesantly suprised to fine that know, I was the moron. And i’m fine with admitting that. 

So we get a damn good fight.. and Knives figures out Scott WAS cheating on her. Granted she assumes so due to seeing Ramona at the refrence Library, before he actually cheated and clearly blames Ramona for it, but still, it fucking hurts. Plus while her attacking Ramona, who initally assumes she’s gideon’s doing, which.. yeah sending a teenage assasian just to mess with her head does sound like him. So while Stacey does complain “ramona you can’t just tear out art objects” to which I say... yeah high, Stacey? NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW SCOTT’S EX IS TRYING TO KILL HER. SHE’S DEFENDING HERSELF.  So we get one hell of a fight. It not only shows off that Ramona is one hell of a fighter herself, as is knives, but just how immature knives is, resorting to constnat fat jokes and taunts showing just how immature she is.. and unlike volume one where it was endearing and we just saw how sweet she was here it just comes off as mean, bitter, and uncomfortable. But again part of the series biggest charm is the main cast are all well fleshed out and throughly human. She’s doint this because she dosen’t know better and was raised in a house where, again as volume 4 will bear out, finding out her dad is going after scott with a samurai sword just warrants a “dad’s are so weird aren’t they” my point is her frame of refrence is a mite skewed. Plus this is a world where everyone but Stacey just calmly accepts big shonen fights break out, so it’s not that unsuaul to want to settle things with a fight and while i’ve joked about her killing Ramona we genuinely don’t know that was the goal> Could’ve been, easily given murder is peachy in this setting and just leads to a respawn according to O’Malley and would’ve just sent ramona back to her apartment. But I genuinely don’t think she has it in her to do it and while she could’ve planend to, she never would’ve. Plus Ramona easily leads the fight as while Knives uses hit and run tactics and tries make her follow.. Ramona is more annoyed than anything as she has shit to do. Knives only gets one hit in and while i’ts a pretty nasty scratch on the cheek, if thankfully not scarring.. Ramona shrugs it off when she brags about it and easily takes knives down with a potted tree. Knives runs and while she tells herself it’s to fight another day.. its really because her opponent was WAY stronger and way more ready for something like this than she probably planned on. She did defintely want a fight, she just wasn’t prepared to be outmatched so handily. It’s also a nice  parallel to last book’s fight: Like with Scott and Matthew,  while the fight SEEMS pretty even, in reality our hero/heroine was alwasy teh one in control and easily took care of the less experinced and less ready upstart, who likely wasn’t expecting a fair fight much less to loose. 

So Ramona and Stacey wisely get out while Stacey explains Knives is indeed Scott’s ex, though is unaware of the cheating thing. Speaking of Scott he’s playing sonic and knuckles, and in fact kept wallace on the line before just to get advice because of course he did hence why stacey didn’t get through to him, but gets a call... from Envy. 

This is easily the second best sequence in the boook, which was lovingly and wonderfully adapted to film and as a result I cannot read it without hearing Brie Larson’s voice for Envy , a nice mixture of seduction and condescension. It’s CLEARLY painful fo rhim, and we do get some things established as Envy toys with him, that it’s been about a year and that she left him for a cocky pretty boy, familiar.. and while Scott claims to not know what he looks like.. given Todd is clearly on her band cover... it’s not exactly hard to put two and two together. So after some awkard catchup and Scott telling her about ramona against his will, we get to the reason she’s here with Scott understanndbly being supscious and calling her a user.. which while Envy denys.. she ends up admitting to. She’s coming to town as estalbished and her opening act backed out, and since Scott has a band, and one that 2/3 of which she knows, she wants them to open for her.  Scott naturally isn’t too intrested and thinks it’s just pity. The sequence. is masterful, using a watchmen style 9 by 9 panel layout and intercutting scott’s pained reactions and clear lack of comfort with flashes of envy on her side.. never showing her proper, but showing his memories or what he’s seen in magazines. It’s really striking and really sells the sheer discomfort Scott’s going through.  So soon after Wallace gets home.. and finds Scott, drained and miserable on the floor, not even responsive. And this really is the scene that shows me that Wallace cares for the guy and cements that asshole he may be, he loves his buddy. He goes through possible scenarios that fit scott: Food poisoning, finding out Wallace saved over his final fantasy save (though he rules it out as last time that happened he was crying), that ramona dumped him.. before Scott let’s out a pathetic and miserable “Ennnnnvvv”. Wallace , who was at ground zero for that relationship as we’ll find out, realizes this and lets out a little shit, unsure how to help and pissed off at that bitch for once again hurting him like this. As I said it shows how Wallace knows scott in and out and loves him dearly.. and how he knwos about this paticuarly heartbreak better than anyone but Scott and Envy themselves. IT’s just a really tearjerking scene, as we get a sense of WHY scott spiraled into an ego boost of a relationship: His last one REALLY tore him in half, and he’s still not completely healed from the emtional bisection. 

So Scott gets more bad news next chapter as Stacey tells him about the fight and he’s worried he’s going to loose ramona on top of this. I mean he desrves it.. .but it’s clear she’s the best thing to happen to him after a really rough year of denial and poor decisionss and loosing her will likely only make him WORSE. He also breaks the bad news, to him at least to the band about the gig. Stephen, being kind of a dick who while understandbly excited about a big gig fails to see his friend REALLY isn’t happy about this nor remembers you know, that the person offering this tore his heart out indiana jones style and while they should take the gig despite the risks, it’s too big an opportunity not to, he should be fucking senstive about this. Kim however... has a suprising and heartbreaking reactoin to this. Which is spread over a few panels but i’m gonna string into one image for convince sake. 

Just.. DAMN. I honeslty missed this both as a teenager and as an adult when I read through the books last time but holy shit is this a heartbreaking little moment, even more with the development she gets in later books. Keep in mind, over two books so far, Kim.. really hasn’t shown a lot of emtion. The most upset she’s gotten was getting a bit pissed about another a girl drummer. The only other time we’ve seen her sad was at 17 when Scott left. Her only emotions that we could see were angry and surly. But here? She’s genuinely upset and we see her walls break down for the very first time.. and it’s with the clear indication she NEVER really got over Scott. She never got proper closure and while she hasn’t let it so.. it’s been VERY clear she's been grossly uncomfortable with how he just likes to brush off their history, something that very clearly still bothers her and understandably so: 6 years , while a lot of time, still really isn’t long enough to just .. FORGET your first boyfriend , how he made you feel or the fact he took your virginity and you took his. Stuff like that sticks with you.. I’m ony assuming on the virginity thing but my point remains: To Scott it’s SEEMINGLY nothing, when really he’s probably just trying to brush it off because he dosen’t like dealing with things and given how Kim is wrongly assumed she can’t feel pain. I mean to anyone else i’d be a fair assumption and even i’m not convinced if she touched a hot stove she’d burn, but that’s phsysical this is emotional. DIffrent playing fields. Point is Scott’s kind of a dick and not having ANY closure for anything, Kim is still smarting from him leaving as much as Scott is smarting from Envy dumping him.  And it somehow gets MORE painful.... which should’ve been the tagline for Bojack Horseman now I think about it but yeah: her line is what cuts me up the most “I saw her on the cover of Now. She’s pretty”. It’s a little line, it’s easy to see why I missed it .. but the subtext really stings. It’s that despite being VERY pretty, I had a crush on her as a kid and I still do now.. Kim just can’t help but compare herself to someone whose now a glamrous rock star.  Their equally attractive but all Kim can see is ANOTHER person who Scott cared about more than her. Which seems petty but again he just.. abnadoned her. His moving wasn’t his choice but his not telling her as was framed earlier sure as hell was. And then just.. look at the next people he dates: A glamorous rock star (She wasn’t at the time but that’s for next week), a much younger girl who can’t possible challenge him, and an ultra cool american. To her.. it must feel like he just looks right through her to every other person intersted in him and never even consdered her as a person anymore. I mean.. jesus christ that hurts.. and makes me hate Stephen more since you know he dosen’t notice any of this.. though at least unlike with Scott it’s a bit more understandable because Kim’s so unflappable and he’s already ignoring very obvious and transparent emotional pain why shouldn’t this be any diffrent.  So yeah no one’s happy about this, and that ends up including Stephen as he’s so insecure about his band’s talent he’s pretty sure they suck when their probably at least adaquate. 

So while Scott dosen’t say anything, it’s clear he’s at least consdiering the offer as when we next see him he and ramona are heading to Envy’s show. And honestly it’s just a really sweet scene as Ramona asks about envy and the two banter and hold hands. A really nice palletee clensar since hte last few pages were like I was the one lucas socked in the gut. Also she assures him she dosen’t hate him, and asks about how the breakup happened, turning down any offers to hear the good times.  It was new years eve one year ago, and he mentions it was over her leaving to meet some guy named Todd.. and Ramona finds the story familiar but brushes off Scott wondering if her todd and Envy’s todd wer ethe same guy as a douchey joke. When prying about what happened otherwise, Scott admits it was all a blur.. Ramona isn’t ahppy with the answer.. but it’s nto like it’s that unresonable: he was in deep with Envy, and the breakup was damn bad to the point it took a year for him to recover and end up in the relationship he is now and the one before this was clearly a cry for help. It also helps reinfroce just how much Wallace was there for him and probably WHY Wallace hates Envy so much. They probably live together simply because Scott needed a place after college, was in zero condition to get a job or do anything given his zombie like state.. and Wallace just had him move into his bed, platonically and into his place. It’s probably why while Wallace will complain ocasoinally he isn’t that on scott to find a job. He dosen’t need a paying roomate, they do fine just on his sallary and he has a steady, secure job in some sort of calling office, probably working in medical stuff like my mom. He needs his friend to be safe and happy, then he can get on his ass about being functional, as he is in present day. If nothing else this volume made me realize just how good a person Wallace is.  The one thing he CAN remember, to Ramona’s disbelif is a restraunt opening up, the job story he hinted at last volume: basically it was a fancy tex mex place called, and this is one of the best restraunt naems in the history of fiction brace yourself: The Gilded Palace of Flying Burritos. Naturally, as would I as I love tex mex and that name, Scott loved the place, ate there most of the week and like me with some places I liked waited impatietly to get a job. He did and they were even super generous as the food was FREE.  Which is a euphoric feeling I relate to, though I also liked any discounts I got. seriously when I worked at Bagel and Bagel a good chunk of my paycheck was eating there for dirt cheap every shift. I miss that place so much. Like even after I left there I still like a good bagel sandwitch. And it wasn’t covid or anything it was just low staffed and slowly coming apart due to a lack of a solid manager after Crystal, the manager who hired me, transfered to a store closer to her home, which I do not blame her for. 

Point is I get it even if Ramona thinks this is all made up. Anyways at Lee’s Place, based on the real life Leo’s place, everyone’s gussied up: Steven got an awful haircut and Kim... 

But no time to dwell on how great kim’s..everything is.. who DID  Neil bring to the concert? 

While Kim is VERY much enjoying this, everyone else is a bit freaked with Ramona getting assurance her and Scott dated breifly, with Kim quipping her and neil will probably date even breiflyer, and Stephen.. freaking out, wondering if she seduced him, and asking if they should take him out back and kick his ass.. 

Just..... that’s a lot of douche to unpack and this review has been VERY long and suprisingly hard already.. but fuck it, we don’t have much left to go let’s do this. Okay one did she seduce him.. I mean I GUESS, but really let’s be clear here: Neil is a horny, lonely, monosolobic 19 year old who lives with his sister’s college friend and whose life revovles around said guys band. Knives is adorable. She likely barely had to flirt with him to get him to say yes .As someone who was a lonely 19 year old doofus, I guarantee no matter the red flags I probably woudl’ve said yes provided she was 18 instead of 17, despite the abudant red flags such as neil vaugely looking like scott, neil being the one single man within scott’s circle to get her way back in, as Knives hasn’t realized she’s bi yet or given how much she looked up to Kim, she probably WOULD’VE gone for it. As would any sane person, which neither knives nor I entirley are. So she didnt’ so much seduce him as offer him a girlfriend he didn’t have and him being too intrested in having a sweet, caring girl on his arm to see the giant army of adrestian soldiers needed to carry all the red flags this presents. 

And as for “do we need to kick his ass. “ Stephen.. did you kick SCOTT’S ass? No, you fucking abetted him and only stepped in for the good girl thing. You did NOTHING to stop his relationship with knives or tell him he was screwing up or look out for that girl’s well being. This will bite him in the ass even harder in volume 5, but even now it just makes him look REALLY fucking bad that, even if he probably dosen’t mean it, that’s at all on the table. Also.. Neil, unlike scott is doing slightly less wrong. While he is 20 to her 17, three years.. it’s HALF of what Scott and her’s age diffrence is, and far more equal in power structure. It’s still not.. GREAT, but my point is you did NOTHING when Scott did this, for far flimiser and less forgiavble reasons.. but when NEIL, whose been nothing but weirdly loyal to you dates her, you want to kick someone’s ass. I mean yes he’s being stupid: in a clear role reversal of the Scott and Knives situation, it’s obvious just from her expression that KNVIES is the one in control here, and the one using someone to ease her own pain. Granted it’s wrong, if not as wrong as Scott should techincally know better and Knives very clearly dosen’t, as well as get into a show of her faviorite band. Is what she’s doing wrong.. yeah... while she can’t see it again it’s what Scott did just not QUITE as fucked up due to not being AS embalanced. Should neil probably be dating her after scott did ? No. But should you be threatning him and not scott for you know, setting all this in motion? No. Jesus christ you suck Steven. 

Thankfully while Scott presumibly calms Stephen down, Kim spots Hollie and her roomate Joseph, who will be suprisingly important. He’s very gay, very quite, very bearded and is only hear because the bass player is hot and when prodded on it....

Well said. Also I read that with John Heder’s voice fo rsome reason.. don’t know why, his career ended as quickly as it began because he REALLY did not pick his films well. He saw that he was going to be in a film with David Spade and Rob Schinder and didn’t fire his agent for suggesting it. Meanwhile Scott and Ramona run into Sandra and Monique, Scott’s old classmates who just sorta.. show up every so oftne, often backing up Julie because every Alpha Bitch needs a posse. As Boscha has proven once you loose your posse you loose your bitchy powers. They also ask if Scott and Ramona are an item which leads to a fantagious visual gag. 

Also Stephen awkardly talks to the new couple, about how much Knives loves the band, and because why start reading the room now just sorta.. CASUALLY slips in the fact he knows her is because she and scott dated. 

Granted Knives action this book really EARNED her that curveball.. but still, it’s transparently clear she’s both not over Scott and Neil’s a placebo, and that she loves the band... how the fuck did you get through college, much less get two loyalish friends Steve. 

Kim tries to hide when she runs into Sarah whose with.. someon O Malley does not know, literally captioning it “I don’t know htis girl”. Fucking love that gag even if SOMEHOW kim is the roomate they all hate. Despite hte fact as the side story will bare out, her roommates are all pretty obnoxious, so i’ts probably because she’s the only sane person in that group and their VERY lucky kim just dind’t set the place on fire on her way out and let god do what he should’ve a long time ago. Also we meet Lynette, the band’s drummer who smokes “She must be evil” “Still hot though”... both accurate. Also Luke wilson is there.. no really. Just holy shit that’s awesome.  Okay so with all of that out of the way, it’s time for the show. So after a full volume’s build up , and a really cool build up in the page before we finally properly meet clash at the demonhead, and miss envy adams. 

Heck of  a reveal and not the only one as ramona realized what the audience probably already guessed....

Dun dun dun! And since I don’t like leaving a cliffhanger dangling lest I have to... we’ll be getting to this next week.. what you thought i’d say right now or tommorow? This was a lot. But no i’m not leaving you too long. Next week, Evil Ex Crossover! Ramona and Wallace become BFF’s! We learn what the deal with Scott and Envy is! Scott faces the Ken to his Ryu! And Wallace gets a boyfriend. All this and more next week. for now...

Final Thoughts: This one.. was a VERY rough one to review and it ties back to this volume’s biggest problem: it is not paced very well. Like the series as a whole it has a pretty easy going, slice of life pace. The only ones without this kind of easy pacing are 3 and 6, and even 3 has some slice of life bits, their just both more focused due to the events going on. This one... well....

Pretty much. While this one has very important stuff going on, Scott and ramona getting closer, ramona getting more fleshed out, Wallace showing how deep his character is, Kim also getting fleshed out quite a bit, Knives showing off her crazy side, setting up the next volume, the second ex fight.. it’s all just kinda.. jumbled together. It’s not really until the knives fight onward the book takes on some really solid pacing and really gets going.It’s not a BAD book: ther’es some REALLY good character stuff as I dug into.. but the pacing is just really loose and without the Evil Ex fight as an anchor and with ramona and scott just sorta.. getting to know one another, in both biblical and non biblical senses, it dosen’t have either of the series main narrative thrusts. Even the knvies subplot really amoutns to nothing for now, as Ramona dosen’t find out Scott’s a cheater, and only distrusts knives now. That’s about it. It does improve on book one in characterization, with eveyrone being MUCH cleearer in terms of who they are and settling into their iconic selves nicely. Wallace’s more selfless and protective side pops up, Ramona starts to show mroe of her personality good and bad, Scott’s better traits are mixed a bit mor eeven with the douche ones,  Knive’s far more unstable and violet stalker side emerges, and Stephen.. well fuck him, point is things are coming together.. but O’Malley still isn’t quite at peak power yet. Not bad and still worth a read like last time, just a bit uneeven is all. That being said... if you want O’Malley at his peak.. well then come back next week. Until then i’ll be doing my usual buisness of reviewing birds, refrencing simpsons and letterkenny, and putting my eyes back in after kim’s look up there. For now the sun’s setting and i’m out of here. 

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Tim Drake x GN!Reader in: Old Peeps Roasting on an Open Fire~

12 Days of Batmas || Day 2—Cuddling by the Fire

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

↞ previous: you’re the reason why (we can’t have nice things) || playing in the snow

|| ao3 version | 12 days m.list | batboys tag | main blog ||

|| dames day 2 | dick day 2 | jay day 2 ||

“Old peeps roasting on an open fire, Timmy-boy screaming ‘Oh god nooooo~!’”

You probably won’t need the fire extinguisher this time. Probably.

↠ Requested By: Not a soul lol ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW fluff ((but my blog’s 18+ if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ CWs: There’s some implied intimacy in the ficlet. Nothing too racy, but you definitely can tell where things are heading lol… ↠ Betas? Nah, we don’t do that here. ↠ Total WC: 2.7k~

Headcanon || WC: 1.6k~

🌟 Tim is one of those people who doesn’t realize how touch starved he is until you’re nearby.

You don’t have to be actively be touching him or close enough to do so, hell you don’t even have to be in the same building. It’s like once he knows he’s gonna see you his skin is set aflame, his nerve endings flayed.

I know that sounds unpleasant, and it kinda is low-key, but he’s learned to love the burn.

His not getting to see you as often as either of you would like only compounds things so that by the time you’re actually slated to see each other he’s half insane with his desire to hold you.

🌟 If you’re a friend that has turned into more things are even worse lol.

Once he acknowledged his attraction to you dude spent so much energy on making sure that he never touched you in a way that could ever be mistaken for inappropriate.

Unfortunately this p. much led to him barely touching you at all for a long while as he just couldn’t for the life of him get his shit together.

It was a bit jarring for you both because despite the fact that he was never the overly feely type, casual touches had never posed any problems prior to his revelation. Needless to say things got weird/awkward quick, which, yanno, was the exact opposite of what he wanted lol.

Once he saw how the change was negatively affecting your relationship he pulled himself out of his head enough to start (mostly) functioning like a normal human being in your presence again.

🌟 Once you finally got together it was a complete 180 from your platonic days. Casual touches all day, errday.

And hugs.

So many damn hugs—from the front, the back, the side, from above, below, whatever. Any configuration that allowed him to wrap you up in his arms he would gladly take. He spent so much time denying himself, so you best believe that he’s gonna indulge now that he can (*insert obligatory—‘Only if you’re okay with it!!’—here*).

It was so damn cute to witness, but like grossly so. Catch Connor, Dames, and Jay making gagging noises whenever they caught you two being all lovey-dovey (it’s one of the few things this trio could ever come into agreement over lmao).

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Dick who is living for this do you hear me?? He’s been shipping the pair of you from jump, and he’s just so glad to see that his babies now know happiness—he’s not cryi– okay he’s totally crying, but that’s okay because he still cute and so are y’all…

🌟 Anyways!

🌟 Because of this all of your dates inevitably turn into cuddle sessions (which do oftentimes lead to more as he’s not at all shy about acting on his wants—again, providing you’re on the same page).

Are you complaining? Idk man, I don’t know your life like that, but I would think that you aren’t because this man has cuddling down to a science. He knows just how to position you both so that you’re always comfortable.

Limbs rarely grow numb and somehow you’re always able to see whatever screen you’re watching without straining yourself—it’s witchcraft, you just know it is.

He also always has the best snacks on deck. Lbr—homie would eat like a trash panda 24/7 if he could (hell, he kinda still does tbh).

He does have a diet that he mostly sticks to and an exercise regimen from hell, both of which he uses to justify the less-than-healthy dining habits. But dude’s such a hypocrite because he won’t let you eat yourself silly.

He’s not the type to control your diet or anything, you’re a grown ass adult, but he’s also not gonna just sit there and watch you give yourself a tummyache either, ya know? ‘Everything in moderation’, that’s what he always says—that and ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ lol.

🌟 As you progress in your relationship that near manic edge that had colored your early interactions is tempered, though he’s still big on skinship.

He always likes to be in some sort of physical contact with you if it’s at all possible. You don’t have to be laying on top of one another (though he’ll never complain if you do indeed want to use him as a body pillow), he revels in the slight brush of arms that are busy working at your respective tasks while you sit together, the press of your shoulder blades against his as you sit back to back reading, the hooking of ankles around one another as you share a meal…

🌟 As I said in a fic of mine, quality time is the most prominent of his love languages. I know that seems to go against what I’ve been saying thus far, but follow me around the room with this.

As precious as touch is to him, it’s time that he’s most obsessed with. It always seems to get away from him, and as of yet there’s no way for him to get it back or make more of it.

Time with you is even more fleeting, or at least that’s the way it seems. When he’s holding you his need for touch is sated, but how long will it last? When will he be pulled from your arms indefinitely—or god forbid, you be taken away from him somehow?

He’ll always fight to keep you both safe, but he knows he’s not infallible. So whether you grow old and gray together or he falls victim to Gotham tomorrow he’s gonna make sure that whatever time he has to give freely is offered up to you.

🌟 On top of all of that, Tim’s a v. busy guy, one that’s always having more things shoved onto his plate (if he doesn’t serve himself) than what he can feasibly get done with the hours allotted to him.

Somehow he always makes things work, but this usually means that he has to sacrifice in other areas. Because of this a lot of his previous relationships—both romantic and platonic—oftentimes suffered to the point of ending.

You’re one of the first people that has been able to put up with the madness that is his life for any extended amount of time.

🌟 Like the rest of Bruce’s misfit toys he has abandonment issues, so he figures it’s only a matter of time before his absences outweighs any charms you perceive him to have.

Though he refuses to ever think too long on you ever coming to harm, your leaving him is something he can picture with stunning clarity. In his mind it’s an inevitability, a set event that can only be delayed for so long.

He’s selfish enough to hold on to you until then, even though he knows you’d both be better off if he pushed you away sooner; the longer you’re together the more feelings there will be to get hurt.

He’s pretty sure this makes him some sort of emotional masochist, but whatever. He’s cool with it (he’s really not someone help this man).

🌟 You eventually get through to him, the specifics of which are a HC for another day.

Suffice it to say it involves you just being there—staying when others would leave, extending understanding and grace when he feels he doesn’t deserve any.

Above all else Tim both needs and craves some sort of stability and you give him that.

This’ll sometimes leave you at a deficit, but no one ever said that loving a Bat was an easy task. Your relationship will never be completely normal and you’ll have to make concessions that others with a more conventional partner would never even have to consider.

The good thing is that Tim, just like all his brothers, will always meet you halfway whenever he can, and if he can go the full hundred percent or beyond you know he will.

🌟 Anyways!

🌟 Because of how much he loves touching you, the colder it gets the happier he becomes.

A dip in the temperature provides him with the perfect excuse to keep you close while you’re out and about—he can’t have his little lovebird getting cold, now can he?

Expect lots of adjustments to your clothes and outwear. It’s one of the subtler ways that his love manifests itself; he wants to take care of you always, and if that means he’s gotta pull up your scarf every five minutes because it won’t stop slipping down then dammit that’s what he’s gonna do.

And if you turn that shit around on him?

DED.

His soul has left his body and his heart feels like it’s gonna pound straight through his ribcage and out of his body. Omg you’re so damn soft for him and he’s so soft for you! What the frick?!! Why are you so cute and amazing and ahhhHHhhHhhh~

…Yeah, his brain turns straight to mush, but like mush that’s running a mile a minute lmao

🌟 Being the homebody that he is means lots of nights spent in year round, but the low temperatures give the prospect even more appeal, to him at least.

If you like being out in the cold he’ll certainly oblige you, he’s pretty neutral when it comes to weather in general so long as it’s not too extreme and he doesn’t have to patrol in it).

Getting cozy with you under some blankets with a grip of snacks and something good to binge? Hells yeah. Chef kisses all around because that’s some prime date night material right there—hell, that’s the peak of existence tbh.

You wanna swap out the show/movie for a fireplace and just talk/chill/whatever? He’s down for that too! Your being together is the most important part of the equation, everything else are just rad ass bonuses.

🌟 So imagine, if you will…

Old Peeps Roasting on an Open Fire~ || WC: ~1.1k

“Old peeps roasting on an open fire, Timmy-boy screaming ‘Oh god nooooo~!’”

“Seriously babe, you too?” Tim sighs from across the room. He’s been prodding at the hearth’s glowing logs for the better part of several minutes in an attempt to make sure the fire won’t go out once it’s left to its own devices.

You reply comes in the form of a cheeky grin that morphs into a few air kisses. Though you can barely be seen with the way you’ve burritoed yourself in blankets, you know he can hear the exaggerated smacking of your lips.

For his part the man just snorts out a laugh, rolling his eyes as he turns his full attention back to the budding fire. “I’m never gonna live that one down, huh?”

“Probably not, no,” you agree, laughing a bit, “but I mean I played my own dumbass part so…”

It had been a nuanced combination of boredom, a several month old box of Peeps, ‘Why the fuck not?’-levels of curiosity, and some good ol’ fashioned crackhead energy that had led to the unfortunate event in question.

Roasting the little sugar-covered marshmallows shouldn’t have been any more precarious than roasting one without the added layer of sweetness, but then Tim had let his skewer get just a little too close to the flame. The resulting fire probably wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t tried to put it out by shaking the stick instead of blowing on it like a normal person. The confection’s center was gooey enough that it dislodged itself, flying far and fast thanks to the intensity of Tim’s waving, and landing in Connor’s open backpack. From there things only got worse as the Kryptonian had a roll of tissue as well as some other extremely flammable items in there and well…

The resulting fireball was a pretty shade of red at least.

In trying to make things better you’d only managed to make them worse as the blanket you threw over the flames was an acrylic blend that caught fire itself almost instantly. In the end Connor ‘It’s my turn with the singular brain cell we all apparently share’ Kent was the one to put out the blaze, though not before a tree (or several… and a sizeable patch of grass… and Con’s sleeping bag… and the stuff for the s’mores that was sitting on top of said sleeping bag… and half of the tent…) got scorched.

That had happened when you were all in your early teens, and had resulted in the lot of you being banned from camping without ‘proper supervision’ pretty much indefinitely. Even now, with you all being grown ass adults, the others like to teasingly threaten to come along whenever any of you mention spending any time in the great outdoors. So it had hardly come as a surprise that they’d all started it back up when you and Tim said you’d be spending the weekend up at the family cabin–

The cabin that is out on the lake, which is very much in the middle of the woods, which are very much flammable, and—“You two sure you don’t want to take Connor along? Ya know, just in case?”

Memes abounded, roastings were had, but what really took the cake was Bruce’s contribution. His text was succinct, only being long enough to tell you where all the fire extinguishers were, but really that was enough. In response the pair of you had sent him a picture once you’d gotten settled in.

It was a parody of one of those old school family photos from back in the day, with you sitting in a chair, fire extinguisher cradled in your arms like a newborn babe and Tim standing behind you tall and proud. You both have your best ‘It’s picture day and mama said these shits better look good or that’s my ass’ smiles on as you stare at some unseen point off to the side. He had left you on read for the better part of ten minutes before replying with ‘The three of you make for a beautiful family.’ It was as much an admission of amusement as the man ever gave, and so you counted it as a victory.

In the now your metal child sits beside the coffee table, well within reach should you for some reason need it—not that you anticipate actually having to use it, mind, but better safe than sorry…

Once the blaze is properly stoked you man joins you on the sofa with a sigh. He wastes no time settling himself amongst the mass of blankets, pillows, and snacks that share the space with you. That this ends with you mostly draped across his wiry frame is unsurprising, if very much wanted—he likes to keep you close after all.

The show that you’ve been binging is resumed with a few taps at the laptop that’s balanced precariously on your legs. Yes, you could just as easily avail yourselves to one of the cabin’s many televisions, but there’s something about having to squint down at the smaller screen that makes both of your chests tighten. There’s a nostalgia to be found in it, one that takes you back to a simpler time—when you were both just two kids that were hellbent on denying their feelings but drawn together all the same

It reminds you of every not-a-date date, every stolen glance and lingering hug and that first awkward press of lips against wind chapped lips…

“God, I love you so much.”

“You know I love you, right?”

Your declarations are spoken at nearly same time, a thing that leaves you both laughing as you verbally trip over each other for a few more sentences.

“Okay, wait, we gotta get this right,” you manage around a laugh. “On three, ‘kay? One, two, three–”

“I love you.”

The synchronicity displayed is only topped by the sincerity of the delivery.

You tilt your head back to look up at the man whom your heart beats for. The love that syrups behinds your eyes is reflected in kind, with so much purity and absolute truth it actually makes you ache. When he repeats the sentence it’s against your lips. He slurs it again over the breadth of your jaw, nipping and sucking until he can breathe it against the shell of your ear…

The show is soon forgotten, the laptop tucked away someplace safer, as you both find a much more pleasurable distraction in one another…

Up Next:

🌟 Day 3: mall madness || Getting Lost at the Mall

Tim’s more so of an online shopper. It’s fast, convenient, and he can buy things while he’s still thinking about it.

If he is at the point where he’s shopping in-store he’s probably panicking, to be honest lmao.

Well ‘panicking’ is too strong of a word. He knows what he’s going to get, he just has to go get it. Now. Because he needs it like yesterday and, well, I wouldn’t want to be the person standing between him and his prize is all I’m saying.

He’ll do the thing, but just don’t expect him to like it lol…

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2020 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

[spookyspaghettisundae]

The Best Way for a Spy

A bright flash of lightning streaked across the sky. A thunderclap and a baritone bout of rumbling followed on its heels. The smell of rain crept through the air.

Alone on the muddy road wandered a figure of androgynous shape, robed in fancy attire, in all manners of bright red and deep black and gleaming gold. A porcelain mask of beauteous shape concealed their face. And they stopped. Stared skyward. Pondered.

Evening neared and the cloudy sky had stolen away the sun, bathing the idyllic countryside in a gloomy twilight, a fittingly bleak azure to accompany the chill in the air. A lonesome inn stood by the roadside. Warm and orange lights from the inviting hearth inside lured the masked figure.

The best way for a spy to stay hidden was to hide in plain sight. So spake their mentor. Thus, they always stayed on the road to deliver important messages. For spies who slinked across the rolling hillocks tended to get confronted and questioned more thoroughly by the knights-errant and the militiamen and the inquisitors. The spies and thieves who dressed in muted colors; those who dared to look inconspicuous, they always drew the most attention.

Hence the colorful jester's attire. The fancy mask, unsettling and like to draw questions, but also a face easily replaced.

First drops of rain bounced off the porcelain and turned the garb a shade darker wherever they landed, soaked up by the fabric.

A soft sigh escaped the thin line where the mask's mouth allowed its wearer to breathe, and the spy set into motion. They approached the inn's entrance.

The Boot of the Cockfosters, read the letters on the sign outside the inn. The colors painting the rooster dancing on a treasure chest had faded years ago. The iron rings from which the board hung now squeaked as the signpost swayed in the wind.

The spy, now going by the name of Gladstone—or Rain 'o Blades, or just "Rain", as people in the savvy of their trade referred to them—pushed inside. The wood of the door and the floorboards creaked. They stopped just beyond the threshold, just outside the weather's reach.

The heads of three people turned. Three men sitting at a table by the fireplace, huddled over tankards of ale. They stared. Studied the eerily serene porcelain mask, the garish garb. Did not notice the many knives strapped to Rain's body in different spots, concealed by frivolously fancy layers of cloth.

The men's eyes only ever rested on the darkness of the eyeholes of the mask, and on the short dirk sheathed at the spy's side.

"Who are you?" asked one of the men at the table. A local, given the ring of his accent.

Rain shook their head. Slowly. Tired.

The men still stared.

"Here for a room for the night?"

Rain nodded. Firm and resolute.

"Come, sit with us. My price for boarding is fair, and fairer yet if you share a drink at my table."

"And good news," said the next. "So few guests here this season that you need not share a bed. Unless you want."

Raucous guffaws exploded out from the three men's throats.

Rain approached their table. Crept with strange grace. Some of the beads and gilded rings on the spy's dress jingled.

Always jingled when Rain wanted to be heard. And stayed silent when they snuck.

The keen ear that seeks the sound always misses the silence, so spake the master. The best way for a spy to sneak was to be noticed whenever they wanted one to notice them, so less attention was paid when they wanted one to not notice.

The men watched Rain's approach with a strange glint in their eyes. A lopsided smirk here, carrying a smug sense of superiority; a leering, lustful gaze there, seeking for a feminine form hidden underneath the jester's cloth.

"You some sorta artist? A dancer mayhap?" asked another one of the men.

"Looks like you lost your carnival, eh?" asked another.

More guffaws from the round.

While rain loudly poured from the clouds, drenching the countryside, Rain stayed silent. Stopped midway across the room. Bowed deeply, flowing like water. The fabric rustled; the jewelry jingled. They flowed from bowing into crossing slender arms before their center, and spinning around in a series of elegant pirouettes, excess cloth flapping and twirling colorfully as Rain finished the series of dancing moves with a dazzling somersault.

The rings jingled one last time as they landed in a striking pose, one hand pointed at the men, splaying all fingers to punctuate the performance.

Another rumble of thunder ripped through the heavens outside the inn. Another flash of lightning lit up the windows. Then Rain bowed again.

The three men chuckled nervously. That made way to clapping and cheering in welcome response to the spy's impressive display.

One slapped the table and waved Rain over to sit with them, and the spy took the last steps. Only trained eyes would notice how easily and deftly they pulled out a chair and slid onto its hardwood seat without a sound.

The grin faded from the innkeeper's face. He leaned over the table, grabbed his tankard, and raised it between them.

"Good show, good show. But in these whereabouts, it's not proper polite to wear hoods and hats 'n masks in the presence of your fellow countrymen, jester."

Rain nodded. Slowly.

A hand gloved in black and silver finery crept to the mask. Into the hood. A latch and buckle clicked, thin fingers clutched the faceguard and removed it.

A lock of curly black hair flopped down before a narrow forehead, a set of piercing amber eyes, and the angular features of a long and symmetrical face devoid of facial hair. Rain's thin lips twitched, suppressing a smile in response to seeing the faces of two of the men fall—having expected to see a woman's face revealed behind the mask, now uncertain over what they beheld. The third was intrigued.

This range of reactions—it always amused Rain.

"Come, drink," said the innkeeper. His face beamed less with enthusiasm and more with curiosity as he turned.

Slapped the table again, causing the plate with the candle and a knife on it to clatter.

He shouted over his shoulder.

"Woman! We have a new guest for the night! More ale!"

Soon waddled from another room a woman dressed like a maid, muted earthen colors as her garb and skin flushed red from the heat of the kitchen.

Her eyes lingered for too long on Rain, searching the jester's figure for defining form and drinking in the sharp features of their face. The innkeeper noticed the awkward pause, and the spy felt his burning glare as it rested upon them.

"Give this good man his drink and get on with it," snarled the innkeeper.

Rain bothered not to correct him. Rain never did.

The woman fumbled with the fourth tankard of ale and placed it in front of Rain, some of its contents sloshing over the edge and splashing the tabletop, and not once did she break eye contact with the mysterious jester-dressed spy.

She had a strange air about her. The spy struggled sometimes to read overly subtle expressions, and the long road and the longer day had been too long for them to dwell on whatever they could have read in her face. Sorrow, perhaps. Despair, possibly.

Rain's lips twitched again, this time forming a timid smile. They nodded. The innkeeper's wife eked out a crooked smile of her own—genuine, warm, but feeble.

"There we go," said the innkeeper.

The very moment Rain picked up the fourth tankard presented to them, the innkeeper clapped a meaty palm onto Rain's bony shoulder and hugged them close, clinking their tankards together in a motion of merriment. The woman retreated into the kitchen, taking her time to peel her gaze away from Rain's captivating presence.

Asked one of the other men, "You don't talk much, eh?"

Rain shook their head. Kept a straight face.

The best way for a spy to be forgotten is to give them only what you want them to remember. The less you spoke, the harder it was to recall how exactly you sounded. So spake the master. These men would only remember the garish colors and the fanciful dancing, reckoned Rain.

"I know what I said, and I am a man of my word, but I'll tell you what. Drink's on me, stranger. You wanna pay less for the room, then you let us hear your voice—just once."

The innkeeper grinned. Missing a front tooth. Bad breath, damp and warm upon Rain's cheek.

Rain smiled, though they had to force it. It did not reach the spy's eyes.

"You're too kind," said Rain. Smoky, silky, and smooth.

One of the men gaped while the other squinted, both still unable to determine the spy's gender.

Copper coins jingled as they danced on the table. One of them almost landed on its edge, then toppled over to join the rest. Nobody had ever seen the "jester" produce them, or where on their body the currency had come from. Like all good magicians, they only saw what Rain wanted them to pay attention to.

Rain lifted the tankard to their lips and gulped away. And gulped. And gulped.

The three men watched in stunned silence. The logs in the fireplace crackled, exploding with a tiny shower of embers. Rain continued to gulp away until having downed at least half the tankard.

They finally paused, swallowing before a belch could arise. Exhaled sharply.

The men still stared. Brows arched, their curiosity still burning.

"It has been a long day for me, so if you'll excuse me, I shall retire for the night," said Rain. "Thank you very much for all your hospitality."

Smiled again, this time more in earnest. Gently put the tankard down and slipped out of the innkeeper's uncomfortable embrace—and out of the chair. Slinked away to the nearest flight of stairs. All eyes on them.

Rain swiveled and performed another low bow, as elegant as the entrance they had made, permitting rings to jingle once more.

Said one of the three, "G'night."

The other two nodded as a courtesy. Then they exchanged curious glances amongst each other, and Rain was already up the stairs, making nary a sound.

They poked their head into the rooms to confirm they were meant for guests, then chose the one in which the weakest smells lingered. It still reeked of onions and stew, but it would serve. The spy opened the window to let some air in while undressing. This attire always cost a lot of time to get in and out of.

Just like armor.

Armor for the identity.

The best way for spies to protect themselves from harm was to wear the proper clothing. For the right attire helped others manage expectations and manipulate them into not ever even wishing to do the spy any harm. So spake their master.

Outside, the storm whipped heavy drops of rain against the window, soon closed for the night by the spy to keep the cold and wet elements at bay. The sound of the downpour and the long and thunderous rumbles had a soothing quality to them, lulling them to sleep. Slowly but surely.

It had been a long day.

Rain jolted awake.

The rain had stopped. The storm had subsided.

The darkness of night had blanketed almost everything, broken only by silver moonlight that poured in through the window.

Neither the spy nor the man standing inside the ajar door to the room had seen how fast it happened, only the flash of the dirk, gleaming in that moonlight, held out in front of Rain. A sharp tip pointed at the man.

He blinked. One of the three men from earlier—not the innkeeper.

The smug sense of superiority admixed with a hint of fear as he went cross-eyed in staring at the pointy tip of the blade.

Said the man, "Pardon. Did not know you was in here." Drunken slurring rounded off each word.

He grinned, but it looked forced.

Rain just stayed sitting in bed, measuring the four paces of distance between them, the blade held steady and pointed at the bothersome man's face. They said nothing in response.

"I'll be leaving, then. Unless you want some company to warm your bed?"

Rain shook their head.

He grunted and closed the door behind him.

Rain sheathed the dirk in one fluid motion, then slumped back down into the uncomfortable straw-stuffed bed. The wooden frame creaked.

They sighed. Clamped their eyes shut and twisted and turned under the heavy, coarse blankets, trying to find slumber anew. Exhaustion from the road returned. Rain's world went dark once more.

Commotion from downstairs made Rain jolt awake again.

More time had passed.

The moon had wandered across the sky, judging by how its silver rays now bathed the interior of this guest room in a different light.

The innkeeper shouted something. Swearing, muffled through door and floor and walls. His maid-wife shouted something back.

Things clattered.

They fought with words and objects.

The familiar sound of a slap echoed through these halls.

Sobbing. Another slap, a cry in pain. More clattering.

Rain twitched. Twisted and turned. Rubbed their eyes, pinched the bridge of their nose, then gazed at the sheathed dirk leaning against the wall right within reach beside the bed.

Fighting the urge to act, they closed their eyes again, hoping to get more sleep. The noise might stop soon, after all. Why endanger the objective by interfering in some animated lover's spat?

The best way for a spy to succeed on their mission was to not get distracted. Distractions led to mistakes, and mistakes led to failure. In the end, the mission was all that mattered. So spake the master.

There was no need to get violent, reckoned Rain. They could just threaten the innkeeper a little bit to mediate matters, perhaps. The spy was very good at mediation. People rarely got hurt. Just a gesture here, a little threat there, and they would be quiet again.

But this was permitting distraction—even just thinking about ways to silence the fight downstairs. Rain perished the thought, and Rain's mind quieted again. The noises downstairs had stopped. Perhaps sleep would come again easily.

Several slaps followed, making Rain flinch more each time. The wet sound of something hard like wood or metal hitting human flesh. Repeatedly. The sobbing choked, sounds of pain and misery mixed in from the woman's subdued wailing, interrupted by brutal strikes.

The spy emitted a soft sigh.

Swung their feet out of bed with the grace of a trained dancer. Slipped on the jester's jacket—a tunic lined with several hidden daggers.

Rain made no sound on the way down.

Found the innkeeper standing over his maid-wife, who lay on the ground, sprawled out. Blood had sprayed iron pots and the door to the pantry. The innkeeper held the crude weapon in his hands; a now-bent pan clutched in a meaty fist.

A single slipper of the wife lay elsewhere, astray, the other still dangling from her twitching foot. It smelled of cooked chicken and rust in the kitchen. Two smells Rain never connected but would not easily forget.

A dark pool spread out underneath the woman. She tried to lift herself up from it, but her arms buckled like the legs of a newborn foal. Funny how closely that death and new lives danced together, reckoned Rain.

She looked like she was dying. They would have to act quickly if the innkeeper's wife was to survive the night. And the man raised his improvised weapon high over his head, ready to bring it crashing down in another, potentially fatal blow.

The final step that the spy took to enter the kitchen fully, they allowed some rings on the jacket to jingle.

The innkeeper's head snapped around. He glared at Rain with murder in his eyes.

Growled with a sneer, "What in the hells do you want?"

Rain said nothing.

Let the daggers do the talking. Let them spell out the name.

Rain 'o Blades.

The innkeeper gurgled and the bent pot fell from his hand, banging against the floor and ringing out from there until it stopped bouncing. He pawed helplessly at the knife sticking out of his throat and gripped the one in his belly with a trembling hand.

Rain had crossed the distance with little pause, a deadly pirouette accompanying the motion as two more small blades gleamed in the glow of fire and moonlight. Blood sprayed and then two more knives were sticking out of the man's body. Yet more blood splattered from his insides as Rain yanked out the first two to spell his demise.

The man continued to gurgle as he clutched his opened wounds where blood pumped out at an alarming rate—alarming to the man, at least. A cacophony of falling kitchen utensils and pots erupted as he dragged the entire surface of a table down to the floor with him in his final fall.

"You're going to pay, you basta—"

Whoever of the other two men had entered the same door as Rain just to utter that oath, two more knives greeted him. No gurgling escaped his throat, just a hoarse groan as he slowly teetered back and forth, a face gaping with surprise and one eye wide open while the other had a knife sticking out of it.

Rain already knelt by the woman in the puddle of blood before the dead man hit the floor. The spy turned her over and cradled her head in their hand.

Eyes white, rolled back. Her crinkled chin quivered, allowing only unintelligible whimpers as the lifeblood continued to spill from her skull.

The spy had seen this sort of trauma before. Too late to save her, no such magic commanded they. The only magic Rain knew was mundane, the methods of toying with simple men's senses, the art of deception, and the sorcery of blades in the dark.

Gingerly, they placed the woman back down, bedding her in her own growing pool of blood.

They produced another knife from the jacket and inserted it. Lovingly. Slipped it right in, underneath the chin, driving the blade right from the soft gap into the brain. Stopping that mouth from flapping uselessly like a fish suffocating on land.

Ending it quickly for her.

The best way for a spy to complete their mission was to complete it without bloodshed, because blood always left a trail. So spake the master. But sometimes, death was inevitable. So, also, spake the master.

And sometimes, death was a mercy. So thought Rain.

They held her in her final moments. Her spark of life slowly dulled until fate snuffed it out entirely.

Rain slowly rose to their feet again. Undergarments stained with dark crimson from the carnage.

Wooden floorboards creaked. Something heavy hit the ground. Rain was out of the kitchen like a flash of lightning. The third man fled towards the inn's front door. Ripped it open, letting it slam against the wall.

He had seen everything.

When all had gone wrong, the best way for a spy to stay hidden was to leave no witnesses. So spake the master.

A lesson Rain always despised but understood the necessity of.

The third man took five flying daggers to the back. Rain did not rush, hurling two at a time with deadly precision, walking at an almost leisurely pace after him, slowing him down with each additional knife launched. A sixth blade flew right into the man's nape, and he collapsed outside, face down in the mud.

His hand helplessly clenched the muck, and mud oozed out between his fingers, just as painfully slow as the life escaped his body and his soul passed on to the afterlife.

Rain sighed once more.

Looked skyward. Observed and pondered.

The rolling thunder rumbled farther in the distance. Though the clouds still hung heavy in the moonlit sky, they had parted, and the rain had long stopped.

Not even a faint drizzle remained.

A short rest at best, this was no longer a safe place to stay. Lights still glowed inside the inn, but it had fallen deathly silent.

Now, Rain would have to go against the best ways for a spy to do anything.

Fully garbed and armed again, all daggers cleaned and back in their rightful place, and the porcelain mask back on their face; Rain stood outside the burning inn. Flames licked outwards from the ground floor windows, and the inside of the establishment glowed brighter than ever before.

The Boot of the Cockfosters would be little more than a husk come morning.

By the time anybody could investigate, the spy would have long snuck away across the hillocks, spending a miserable night in a cold crypt to get some muchly needed sleep.

But before all of that, Rain o' Blades unfolded the folded parchment that had been hidden inside their jacket this entire time.

The message.

The mission.

The best way for a spy to ensure their survival was to never read any messages they had been tasked to deliver. So spake the master. And so, Rain ignored the lesson, as this night had been a lesson of its own.

The note read:

PZHZERI UZROVW ZMW RH YFIRVW. GSLFTS IVTIVGGZYOV GL VMW GSV YOLLWORMV GSFH, GSV PMRTSG’H XSROW NFHG WRV HL GSV UZNROB’H HVXIVGH TL GL GSV TIZEV DRGS GSVN. HL HKVZPH GSV NZHGVI. NZPV RG JFRXP.

Rain studied the note. Let their eyes scan over the cryptic arrangement of letters. Then again. And again. All the while searching memories for different ciphers to unlock the meaning of this message.

Once they had understood, anger guided their slender hands—crumpling up the parchment and stuffing it back into their jacket in a huff.

The best way for a spy to live long and die peacefully in their bed one day was to carefully heed the master's every lesson. The best way for a spy to succeed at any mission was to not get personally or emotionally involved. So spake the master.

But that night, Rain decided that their master's way was no longer the best way. Watching the inn burn brightly, they found a new resolve. A new purpose. Someone to protect. A quest to prevent being a mere witness of another innocent death at best, or an instrument of murder at worst. A quest to shed any willful blindness towards the woes of the unfortunate.

That night, walking away from the inn burning bright, Rain decided to blaze their own trail. To no longer serve as a spy. To no longer bow to any kings or masters.

To make their own best way.

—Submitted by Wratts

[adenil-umano]

12 Days of Spones Day 3: Travel

[Read on AO3]

In a universe where instant travel was always at his fingertips, McCoy knew that sometimes it was the journey that mattered the most. The Enterprise was due for a refit and her crew was granted an extended shore leave. McCoy spent the first day at his family’s ranch in Georgia closing out all his old cases. There were miles of notes to catch up on and by the time he was done the first day of shore leave had turned to night. He padded around the empty house adjusting picture frames and dusting shelves, sipping on an Andorian ale until he was tired enough to fall asleep on the couch.

The next day he spent packing the shuttle car. It was an older model with a low hover height and a top speed of ninety kilometers an hour. The autopilot had been broken for years. He filled the trunk space with his suitcases and datapadds and then went back to the ranch to lock up. When he returned he was surprised to see Spock standing by the shuttle car with a bag over his shoulder.

McCoy blinked. “Spock. Fancy meeting you here.”

Spock had been looking out over the horizon, and he turned as McCoy spoke, his gaze half-lidded and contemplative. “Doctor,” he greeted, and said nothing more.

“What brings you to Georgia?”

“I am not certain.”

McCoy’s interest was piqued. “This is a rare day indeed, if the indomitably brilliant Mr. Spock is admitting he doesn’t know something.”

Spock inclined his head. “I admit I was…curious about the place you call home. I find it is less illogically ordered than I had assumed.”

“It’s a ranch, Spock. They have their own logic.”

“Indeed. It seems to have been quite some time since any animals were raised here. The garden also seems to be in a state of disrepair.”

McCoy followed his gaze to the old garden plot near the house. The only thing that distinguished it was the different kind of grass that had taken root there, and the dilapidated wood fencing that was falling in on itself. “Well, it’ll have to lie fallow a bit longer. I’m not here long enough to fix this place up.”

“You are preparing for a trip?”

“Yeah. One I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.”

“Where will you go?”

“To Alaska.”

Spock blinked. He glanced back at the shuttle car, his brown eyes calculating. “I do not believe this vehicle will last the trip.”

“I spent most of my childhood fixing up this old girl. If I encounter problems I can handle them.”

“The Alcan Highway is notorious for its state of disrepair.”

McCoy shrugged. “Like I said, I’ll handle it. That’s part of the excitement of taking a trip like this, Spock.”

“I see.”

Spock’s gaze was fixed on the shuttle car. McCoy considered him standing there, looking a bit small with just his single bag over his shoulder.

“…What are you doing for shore leave?”

“I had not yet decided.”

“Just wanted to pay your old pal McCoy a visit, hm? Well, get in the damned car.”

Spock tilted his head. “Doctor?”

“You heard me. Get in. For pity’s sake, Spock. You’re like a sad puppy standing there. I can hardly look at you.”

Spock frowned very slightly. “I am not a ‘sad puppy,’ Doctor.”

“Prove it.” McCoy swept his arm towards the car. “Come with me. You can make sure I don’t crash into a tree or get sucked into a pothole. If you get sick of it we can call Starfleet and have them beam you somewhere else.”

Spock hesitated for just a moment, but McCoy knew he had Spock dead to rights. The Vulcan had never been good at taking vacation even at the best of times, and being stuck on Earth probably didn’t sit well with him. After a moment, Spock nodded. He placed his bag in the back seat and climbed into the shuttle car.

It took three tries for McCoy to get the engine to turn over, and he ignored Spock’s look of concern as they lifted unsteadily into the air. The car had always listed to one side. The way McCoy remembered it, it had listed to the left, but the old bird had a prominent limp towards the right today. Either way, he’d handle it.

They took off over the field towards the highway, skimming near the surface of the planet and kicking up dust as they went. McCoy glanced over and saw Spock gripping the handle above the window, and he grinned. A little company was just what he needed.

---

They made good time the first day, and wound up in a little Podunk town near the corner where Tennessee met Missouri. Spock had relaxed after the first hundred kilometers and was now studiously typing in a datapadd. McCoy glanced over at him occasionally, smiling to himself at the sight of Spock with his nose in a book—or some other data—while the world passed by just outside the window. But most McCoy entertained himself by watching the scenery and occasionally flipping through the radio stations. He knew Spock would talk when he was ready.

The shuttle car had fold-down back seats suitable for sleeping on, but McCoy didn’t feel like being that cramped this early in the trip. He booked a room at a motel with a hot tub and spent most of the night making soup of himself and turning wrinkly and pruned while Spock sat nearby, still writing. McCoy flicked a few droplets of water Spock’s way and laughed as Spock scowled like a wet cat. They ate sandwiches in the motel room and McCoy collapsed into bed before nine o’clock.

He awoke once, that first night, just as Spock was turning down the covers of the bed across from him. He watched Spock, dimly lit by the light seeping through the partially curtained window, as he moved about in his Starfleet-issued pajamas. They were black silk, and the pants were just a bit too short for Spock, exposing his ankles and making him look like a lanky teenager who was growing too fast. McCoy snorted to himself and rolled over, falling instantly back to sleep.

The next day they stopped at the St. Louis gateway arch. McCoy wasn’t too impressed, but he perked up when they found an expansive botanical garden. The air was thick and humid, and he made Spock stop to pose for pictures. He captured Spock’s long-suffering frown near a dozen different flowers from all over the world.

They fell into a rhythm. With plenty of time to sight-see, the fact that the shuttle car was less than half as fast as current models didn’t bother McCoy. Spock hardly seemed to notice whether they were stopped or moving; he kept his nose tucked into the datapadd he was working on regardless. They ate at the greasiest spoon dives that McCoy could find for one meal, and then at an upscale restaurant that served single bites on porcelain plates the next. Occasionally, McCoy commented on the scenery during their drive, and Spock always replied dutifully. They picked up an old argument about the logic (or lack thereof) of different systems of classifying living creatures, and then they put the argument down again. Neither was in any hurry to win. McCoy was just arguing because he liked to hear Spock’s voice.

In the evening they would stop wherever was convenient. They stayed at a five-star hotel one night where room service delivered fresh pasta and bread that was still warm to the touch. The next night they spent at a bread and breakfast that woke them precisely at 6:00 a.m. for waffles and strawberries. McCoy growled his annoyance at the early hour and Spock placated him by fetching mug after mug of fresh coffee. They sat at the small table with their elbows touching, listening to their host tell them about all the people that had come through and stayed with her. She’d had folks from Starfleet before, of course, but never anyone from such a prestigious starship.

“Tell me, what’s it like? The only time I’ve ever been off-world was to visit my cousin on Mars for her wedding. I’ve never travelled outside the solar system.”

“At a certain point you forget you're travelling anywhere,” McCoy said. “It’s just you and the crew, and the ship is almost like its own small planet. You forget you’re moving, forget there’s anything else besides those walls and the view.”

He found himself looking at Spock, who was still contemplating their host’s question. After a moment, Spock said, “It is quite mentally stimulating.”

She smiled. “I’ll just bet it is. Is that how you two met?”

“Yeah, we both serve on the Enterprise.”

“It must be hard,” she said, glancing up towards the ceiling as if she could see through it to where the Enterprise orbited above them. “Being away from home.” She smiled. “Well, at least you have each other.”

McCoy didn’t have an answer to that. He busied himself with his waffles, and when Spock’s elbow bumped him he didn’t pull away.

---

They went north far enough to stop at the Crazy Horse Memorial. They stood on the viewing platform side-by-side. McCoy traced Crazy Horse’s bold profile with his eyes, admiring the craftsmanship of his outstretched arm and the braying face of the horse he rode. After, he turned the shuttle car west.

The landscape shifted and changed beneath them. Black hills transitioned suddenly into dry desert. Mountains sprung up occasionally, and then more frequently, and McCoy maneuvered the car slowly around the switchbacks. Spock had put down his datapadd and was gripping tightly to the handle above the window again.

“Sorry,” McCoy muttered.

“It is no matter,” Spock said, but his voice was a bit wavery and he was quite pale.

“If you’re car sick I’ve got a hypo in the back.”

Spock shook his head, but it took only a few more curving switchbacks for him to rise in his seat and turn to reach back for the medkit. His shoulder brushed McCoy’s as he searched, and then he withdrew with hypo in hand. He spun the dial and held it up to McCoy, who nodded at the dosage. Spock injected himself and placed the hypospray in the cup holder, already relaxing in increments.

“Didn’t expect you to be the type to get car sick,” McCoy said, keeping his eyes glued to the road. “I’ve never seen you get space sick, even when we’re being rocked to next Tuesday by some anomaly or another.”

“Normally, we are not close enough to the ground for me to see the horizon,” Spock said. He had leaned back in his seat but hadn’t picked up the datapadd again. “I have gotten sea sick once before while boating on a lake on Andoria. It is not a pleasant experience.”

“Not very logical either?”

“Indeed, no.” Spock’s voice carried a faint hint of exasperation. “It is not logical for my brain to misinterpret my balance.”

“Well, that nausea hypo should help. And not reading for a while. That always used to make me car sick as a kid.”

Spock hummed. “I suppose I shall have to finish my work later.”

“What are you working on anyway? You haven’t looked away from that padd this whole trip.”

Spock was silent. McCoy risked a glance over and found Spock gazing out the window with a faint hint of wistfulness.

“You don’t have to answer,” McCoy said, turning back to the road. “If it’s private.”

“It is not. Not…precisely.” Spock considered for a moment longer. “I would like to tell you. However, I would prefer to wait for our arrival in Fairbanks. Is this acceptable?”

McCoy laughed. “Sure, Spock. Whatever makes you happy.”

“Happiness plays no part—”

“I know, I know.” He reached out blindly and managed to pat Spock’s arm. “I was just teasing you.”

“Very well,” Spock said, sounding miffed.

McCoy managed not to laugh at him too loudly, and drove on.

---

They stopped at the Pacific ocean, because when you drive that far West you might as well go further. McCoy found a sandy beach and hopped out of the car, leaving his boots on the ground. After a moment’s hesitation Spock copied him, slipping off his boots and leaving them propped up straight near McCoy’s haphazard pile. They walked barefoot down the sandy path and stood at the edge of the wave line waiting for the cold water to come to them. When it did, it came faster and further than McCoy had expected, and they had to run to avoid getting drenched, McCoy cackling and Spock with wide, bright eyes. McCoy’s jeans still wound up soaked up to the hip, and Spock’s was wet up to the knee.

Together, they walked along the beach picking up shells. There was a spawning of jellyfish in the sand and Spock regaled him with every known fact about the species as they tiptoed around them and watched the waves roll up and carry their gelatinous bodies away again. When they were done McCoy had a pocket full of smooth shells and there was sand on every inch of his body.

They found a cottage along the coast where they could stay the night and shower off. When McCoy emerged from the shower with a towel around his hips, feeling clean and warm, he found Spock arranging their shells. Spock looked up at him and his gaze was unexpectedly heavy, warming McCoy even further until he felt hot and flushed.

“Shower’s yours,” he said gruffly, moving to pull his pajamas from his suitcase.

Spock rose silently and made his way into the bathroom. When the door closed McCoy ambled over to look at the shells. They were arranged by type, or so it appeared, lined up in neat little rows. But one stood out from the rest. It was shaped differently, very particularly, and McCoy had to scold himself for thinking it was shaped like a heart.

They followed the coastline North to Dawson Creek. They spent a few days there taking short day trips to various locations to hike and admire the scenery. It was strange to be able to hike without worrying about catching an alien disease or falling prey to some alien animal. It had been years since McCoy had been able to hike outside of the context of an away mission. Spock seemed to find it harder to break the habit, and he brought a tricorder on each trip to scan the plants and wildlife, and to map the ground on water where they went.

“You don’t have to do that, you know,” McCoy said mildly. He was sitting on a boulder at the edge of a river, watching with amusement as Spock knelt to scan a small cluster of flowers. “I’m fairly certain we’ve discovered every animal on Earth by now.”

Spock paused to consider his words. “One never knows what is left to discover.”

McCoy chuckled. He slid off the boulder and ambled over to Spock, eying the flowers Spock was still scanning. “You really don’t know how to relax, do you?”

“This is relaxing.”

“No, this is work during vacation.” He knelt beside Spock and placed his hand on top of the tricorder, slowly closing it. “You don’t have to scan everything you see, Spock. Sometimes it’s okay to just look and experience it. If you want to look closer…” He reached down and plucked one of the flowers. It was yellow, with a brown seed head and firm, smooth stem. “You can simply pick it up and touch it.”

He held out the flower to Spock. Spock was watching him intently, eyes trained on McCoy’s hands as though he were carrying a fragile bird, or the cure to some disease, and not just a flower. After a moment his gaze flickered upwards and their eyes met, and McCoy was struck by the enormity of the emotion on display in Spock’s eyes. There was turmoil there, a kind of sadness that fluttered under the surface. But, more boldly, there was warmth, and happiness. Spock looked at him like he held the universe in his hands.

Spock accepted the flower. “Thank you, Doctor.”

“Of course.” McCoy’s voice was thick.

Had he imagined that look? No, not possible. Not when there were still hints of it in Spock’s sly glances, in the way he cradled the flower like it was the greatest gift he had ever received.

McCoy’s skin itched. “Well,” he said, standing. “That’s enough rest. We should get back to our hike.”

Spock nodded and rose as well. They went into the woods together, and Spock kept the tricorder closed.

---

It became harder to find places to sleep at night. The first day on the Alcan Highway they drove until well after dark to find a town with an open room. The town was hardly more than a few buildings scattered about, and McCoy slept the sleep of the dead, exhausted from such a long drive.

On their second night they couldn’t find a town to rest at no matter how far they drove. McCoy pulled over to the side of the road and flicked on the overhead light, consulting his map. Spock leaned over to look as well, and they came to the same decision together.

“It’s too far,” McCoy said, folding the map and tucking it away. “At least another two hours.”

“It will be well after midnight before we arrive.”

McCoy looked at him. “The back seats fold down,” he suggested mildly. “It’d be cramped, but I don’t think I’m fit to drive much longer.”

Spock inclined his head in silent agreement.

They cleared out the back seat. It was fall; the night air was crisp and a bit cold. Spock folded down the seats while McCoy pulled out his blanket and pillow, seeing now the real problem with this plan.

“I only brought one of each,” he said. “Unless you’ve got one tucked away in your satchel, we’ll have to share.”

“I do not.”

McCoy nodded. “Here, you can have the pillow. The blanket’s pretty big. If I steal it in the night, just…elbow me or something.”

Spock seemed amused, but it was difficult to tell with only stars providing light.

They each turned around while the other slipped into pajamas, giving what privacy they could. With the seats down the space was just big enough for them to line down side-by-side. If McCoy stretched out fully his toes brushed the wall of the trunk. He folded his arm under his head and tried to get comfortable. Spock shuffled around getting comfortable. McCoy could feel the heat radiating off Spock’s body, nice and warm in the cold night. Half-consciously, he shifted a little closer.

“…Doctor,” Spock whispered after a moment.

“Hmm?”

“As you are the primary driver, perhaps you would like the pillow.”

His voice was so low and soothing, McCoy thought. He closed his eyes to better bask in the sound. “No, it’s alright. Wouldn’t want you to get a headache from sleeping wrong. I’ve seen how you act when your head hurts.”

“And I have seen you with a headache.”

He chuckled. “I suppose you’ve got me there.”

There was another pause, a bit longer this time. Just when McCoy thought Spock had dropped the issue, the Vulcan began to shift around again. There was the rustle of fabric against fabric and suddenly Spock’s warmth was a great deal closer. McCoy’s eyes flew open. Now adjusted to the light, he could see Spock’s outline in the starlight. He watched as Spock inched the pillow closer, so that his head was barely on one side, the other side an offering to McCoy.

McCoy gulped. “…You sure?”

“Quite.”

He inched closer. “I snore sometimes, you know.”

Spock sighed, long-suffering. “I am aware. We have shared a room every night for the previous two-and-a-half weeks.”

“It’s just—”

His argument was cut short as Spock’s hand settled on his hip. McCoy snapped his mouth shut, utterly floored by that light touch. Spock wasn’t pulling at him, or really doing much of anything, but the point of contact sparked fire beneath McCoy’s skin. He swallowed thickly and let his body do what it wanted, which was to fall against Spock.

They curled together beneath the blanket, their heads bent towards each other like curved question marks. McCoy didn’t know where to put his hands so he let them fold between their bodies, trying to maintain a faint and pointless distance. Spock’s arm twined around him, his hand resting more firmly against McCoy’s lower back, and his other arm slipped easily under McCoy’s head.

They were cuddling, definitely. It should have felt awkward, but it just felt right. Spock was warm and soft and it was easy for McCoy to bury his face against Spock’s neck and let out a sigh that made Spock shiver. He could smell Spock’s odd Vulcan cologne, a slightly spicy scent. Spock’s hand began to rub against his back soothingly, almost a pet, and McCoy concentrated on that small touch.

Spock soothed him to sleep, and McCoy could think of no better dream than this reality.

---

There were hundreds of bridges along the highway, and they stopped at most of them. Some were small enough to jump over, while others bridged huge gullies that made McCoy experience vertigo. They looked at water, more water than was on the entire surface of Vulcan, mapping all its different forms. At night, even if there was a hotel available, they pulled into whatever parking lot was around instead and folded down the back seat, and McCoy crawled into Spock’s waiting embrace.

They stopped at Delta Junction towards the end of the last day and just stood there, soaking in the beauty of this small, blue planet. Before them were kilometers of rewilded forest. Behind them, mountains jutted up over the horizon. McCoy lifted his head to the sun and felt warm despite the cold breeze.

“Nearly there,” he murmured.

“Yes.”

Spock came to stand beside him. Spock was often standing beside him, McCoy realized. He smiled at Spock, and Spock returned the look with a faint bend at the corner of his lips.

“Haven’t seen you writing in your datapadd in a while,” McCoy said quietly.

“I finished what I intended to write,” Spock said. “At a certain point further edits cease their usefulness.”

“Makes sense.” He turned back to the forest and spread his arms wide. It felt silly, but also perfectly right, to embrace the world in a tiny, human hug. “Oh, Spock,” he breathed. “Have you ever seen anything like it?”

“I have not. I believe the word you would use to describe it is ‘majestic.’”

“Too small a word.” McCoy turned and found Spock watching him, and he smiled. “Should we continue on? Fairbanks is just a couple hours away.”

Spock turned somber. “Indeed.”

The last few hours were quieter than the ones that had come before. Spock was in the passenger’s seat with his eyes closed, apparently meditating, and the datapadd on his lap but turned off. Every kilometer they passed something new and beautiful and McCoy felt his breath stolen from him again and again.

It was dark by the time they arrived in Fairbanks, and McCoy startled when Spock’s hand came to rest against his wrist.

“Stop here.”

McCoy pulled over and Spock climbed out of the shuttle car. McCoy followed him down a brick path to a small lookout over the river. Above them, the sky was bright and clear, inky black broken only by the white pinpricks of stars. Spock tipped his head toward the sky.

“This will do,” he declared, turning back to McCoy.

McCoy shifted his feet. “Do for what?”

In answer, Spock handed him the datapadd. Cautiously, McCoy accepted it, uncertain what he would find. He switched it on and read the first paragraph, then had to stop and go back to read it again, unable to process what he was seeing.

There were several pages and he flipped through them slowly, stunned by the prose Spock had spilled onto the page. Perhaps he shouldn’t have been so surprised; Spock had always had a way with words, after all. But this was almost…poetic. There was a depth McCoy knew Spock was capable of feeling, but hadn’t known Spock was capable of expressing.

“Spock, this is…”

“When I first arrived in Georgia,” Spock said, turning back to the sky. “I already planned to tell you, but I could not find the words.”

“Spock…”

“When I look at you, Leonard,” Spock said, visibly struggling to voice what he had already written on the page. “I feel…love.”

“Oh, Spock.”

“I look at you and see the future. One where I might be with you, and have you be with me. I would like, very much, to become the person you could find yourself loving.”

“Goddammit.” McCoy swiped at his eyes. “You’re such an idiot.”

Spock looked miffed. “If my confession offends you—”

“No! Just—dammit, c’mere you.” He reached out and took Spock’s hand. “I already love you, you foolish, beautiful Vulcan.”

Spock seemed surprised, and then inordinately pleased. “Indeed?”

“I figured it was pretty obvious, what with the cuddling. But maybe I need to say it in a way you can’t misconstrue. I just spent over three weeks in a car with you and didn’t want to pull my hair out or bite your head off. We’ve battled great evil together. We fight and I…like it, okay? I like you, and I want to be with you in all the mushy romantic ways you wrote here.” He held up the padd. “Honestly, Spock, it’s like you were reading my damned mind about some of this stuff. You weren’t, were you?”

Spock shook his head. He seemed incapable of speech.

McCoy grinned. “Guess it’s just proof we’re good together.” He tightened his grip and tugged Spock closer. “Why wait until Fairbanks to say it?”

“I…was not brave.”

“Not very logical of you.”

“This feeling is not logical,” Spock said seriously. “And it is the only feeling I have ever had which I choose to embrace fully.”

McCoy’s breath caught. “Oh. It’s like that, is it?”

“It is.”

They were standing awfully close now, almost as close as Spock had held him last night, when their legs had tangled together and Spock had run his hand through McCoy’s hair.

“Leonard.”

“Yeah?” he breathed.

“May I kiss you?”

“Hell. Absolutely. Thought you’d never—”

Spock stole the rest of his sentence, and his breath, and McCoy’s knees went weak and he dropped the padd. He fell against Spock and Spock caught him, warm and firm and strong. They had traveled together across the galaxy, and then over a quarter of Earth, but suddenly the entire Universe had narrowed down to two small points of light. As they met beneath the sky all that mattered was each other.

He felt Spock’s hand come up to cup the side of his face, and he tilted to deepen the connection. Spock was sweet and soft, and McCoy felt like he was flying.

When they pulled apart McCoy was dazed, and he didn’t know how much time had passed. Spock traced the bone of his cheek with one calloused thumb, a faint smile on his lips that McCoy yearned to taste.

“Shall we retire for the evening, Leonard?” Spock said softly.

“R-right, absolutely.” He took a step away and then turned back, picking up the dropped datapadd. “Let’s get a real room, though. Cuddling in the backseat of a car is fine, but we aren’t teenagers.”

Spock’s eyes were bright with mirth. “I agree. I would very much like to hold you again tonight.”

“Dammit, Spock,” McCoy whispered. “You can’t just say things like that. Don’t you know what you’re doing to me?”

“I have some idea.” Spock sidled close as they walked back to the shuttle car together. “For it is the same thing which you do to me.”

McCoy bumped Spock’s shoulder, feeling giddy. It was almost physically painful to separate the few inches necessary to climb back into the shuttle car, but once there Spock reached out and took McCoy’s hand. McCoy held him back tightly, unwilling and unable to hide his expansive grin.

After going all that distance it was less than a kilometer to the final hotel, and only a single flight of stairs to the room. Spock pulled him inside and into a kiss, shutting the door firmly behind them. It may have been the journey that had gotten them here, but McCoy found he quite liked the destination as well.

[dukethomas]

Summary: Duke and Damian, over the years. 

Written for @duketectivecomics’ Duke Week! Day Four is Reverse Robin, though I modified it so it could be Reverse Batfam. Reverse Batkid? Still works.

-

Duke is nine. He’s Batman’s partner, Lark, and helping Batman punch the living daylights out of criminals helps him forget his parents’ grins and their laughter, and his laughter. (Bruce benches him whenever he’s working on a Joker case. Duke doesn’t complain.) It’s fun, and he’s good at it.

However, he’s heard enough about the League of Assassins, and he’s watched footage in training of Bruce fighting off a whole horde of Assassins (with a capital A) to know that these guys aren’t to be trifled with. And while Duke has spirit and guts and instinct and smarts, what he doesn’t have is the grace anyone in that footage has. He’s still training. He has a long way to go.

And he definitely can’t fight off an Assassin on his own. He’ll try, sure, but he has his limits.

So when he runs to open the door—he and Alfred have made a game out of it, because they kept running into each other whenever the doorbell rung. Whoever gets there first gets a fresh batch of cookies or tea made just for them by the loser—his eyes widen and his jaws drop when he sees Talia al Ghul.

And a boy, who’s taller than him, so Duke assumes he’s older. The boy sniffs and turns his nose up at Duke.

A few seconds too late, Duke settles into his fighting stance. His fists are up and he stares down Talia al Ghul and the boy, hoping something in his eyes would tell them to back down, something steely and indomitable, like all the books say.

Talia al Ghul chuckles. “Down, boy,” she says, her eyes glittering with mirth. “Neither of us intend to cause harm.”

“Speak for yourself,” the boy mutters, glancing at Duke, but Talia al Ghul doesn’t seem to hear it. The boy is unsettlingly quiet and still for someone who doesn’t even look that much older than Duke. He holds himself weirdly. It’s not unlike the entitled rich kid pose, but it’s also tense and lax at the same time.

Like how Bruce fights, Duke realizes. His mind is tense but his body is calm.

“Uh,” he says ever so eloquently. “Bruce! Alfred!”

Bruce shows up three minutes later, and the boy inhales sharply, but softly. Duke is already getting tired of the oxymorons.

“This,” Talia al Ghul says with a light flourish, “is your son. Damian al Ghul Wayne.”

I’m sorry, what?

Duke glances back at Bruce to see what he thinks, and Bruce’s eyebrows are tightly knit together. “You told me you lost the child,” he murmurs.

“I lied,” responds Talia al Ghul, a line of regret tracing her nonchalant tone. “My father’s wishes.”

And what happens after devolves into boring grown-up talk, so Duke stops paying attention. He keeps an eye on their respective body languages, in case this turns into a fight.

But he hates being by adults who are talking without him with nothing else to do, so he turns to the boy—Damian.

“Our names both start with a D,” he offers, smiling at Damian.

Damian doesn’t smile back. Instead, he scoffs, and says nothing else. What Duke has gathered is that Damian was raised with the League of Assassins, which means chances of him being an Assassin too are nearly one-hundred percent. But Talia al Ghul has years, decades, maybe centuries of training on Damian, and Damian can’t hide the worry in his eyes nearly as well. Plus, Duke’s good at reading people, Bruce says it’s a talent.

So he tries again to talk to Damian. “You’re coming to stay with us, right?” A small nod. Success! “I gotta show you all the good places to hide. It won’t hide us from Alfred, because Alfred knows all, but if you don’t want to listen to Bruce, well.” He gestures at Bruce and Talia al Ghul jabbering on about something adult-y.

“Tt,” is the only sound that comes from Damian, and it’s the third oxymoron so far. It’s simultaneously amused and disapproving, and that’s when Duke thinks he knows the problem.

Damian has a shadow cast over him, a long and dark one he can’t seem to shake.

Well, that’s fine. Duke has always clung to the light better than the shadows, he’ll just be Damian’s light as well as Batman’s.

-

Damian doesn’t warm up to Duke quickly, though not for lack of trying on Duke’s part. The older boy keeps brushing him away and getting all huffy, and downright rude. Once Duke sneaks up on Damian and he whips around with a blade pointed towards Duke’s head. Yeesh.

Duke eventually decides it’s easier to stay away. Do his Lark business, go to school, let Bruce deal with Damian.

And he thinks Damian resents him for that. Duke can see why—Bruce gets all stiff and cold with Damian, like he was in the first month of Duke living there, but he’s caught Damian lingering in the doorway of Duke’s bedroom watching Bruce hover around Duke more than once—but honestly? He’s just tired of it. And he wishes he could help, but clearly there’s something deeper there.

Still. Duke doesn’t dislike Damian. Damian’s just… rough around the edges. And sometimes those rough edges are deadly and sharp and Alfred tells him to stay away from knives in the kitchen (even though Duke’s fought off goons with knives before).

(And Duke’s used to rough edges, he thinks, shuddering as a boisterous laugh comes from the TV when he does his homework.)

“Hey, Batman?” he asks one night during a stakeout.

Bruce looks over to him, eyebrow clearly raised even if Duke can’t see it through the cowl.

Duke shines his flashlight into Bruce’s eyes, earning him a curse and a scowl. “When are you going to talk to Dami—um, D?”

“Put that down,” Bruce commands gently, pulling the flashlight away, but Duke just redirects it. “I’ve been talking to him.”

“Yeah, to tell him off! When are you going to treat him like your son, B? You treat me more like a son than him, and I’m not even—” He cuts himself off. “I’m not even your son.” Which shouldn’t feel like it’s gnawing at him inside to say, because it’s true. Doug Thomas is his dad and will always be, but…

He shakes his head. The focus is on Damian right now.

“Are you ever going to let him… y’know?” he blurts. He’s always finding Damian in the Cave (Batcave, Duke insists, but Bruce just ruffles his hair) wielding his sword. He has half a mind to ask Damian to train with him, because Duke knows if he wants to be better, he has to learn from the best. And Damian looks incredible when he practices. All fluid and graceful, like he learned how to fight before he could walk.

Bruce’s hand reaches towards Duke, then draws back. “We don’t use lethal methods, Lark.”

“Then teach him non-lethal methods.”

The answer seems clear as daylight to Duke, though evidently, not so much to Bruce. He hopes it helps anyways.

And then the thugs they’re on the lookout for walk into the warehouse with a confident swagger, and it’s showtime. By the time they’re done, Duke is grinning and bouncing, saying, “I just knocked that guy out, did you see that? That was so cool!”

Batman never loses his stony demeanor while in costume, but if the edges of Bruce’s mouth curve upwards on the Batmobile ride home, Duke knows to not tell anyone.

Unfortunately, his dreams are less than pleasant.

It’s his parents again. When is it not? They’re pressed up against the glass, his mom has this crooked smirk, and she snarls at him. She bangs her fist on the glass and yells, “I’m going to kill you!”

Duke backs up, finding only a foot of space between the glass and the wall behind him. “Mom,” he croaks out, but she doesn’t hear. She never does. “Mom, it’s me, it’s Duke, your son.” His eyes burn and tears come spilling out.

The lights flicker once, twice, before zapping out completely, leaving him and his parents in darkness.

His mom cackles, and tells him, “I know. I know!” and she’s more aware than she’s been in months, and she barrels her head into the glass. It cracks, shards of glass flying around Duke.

A plea is on his lips as she lunges at him, and he jolts up, his shirt damp with sweat.

He’s in his bedroom at Wayne Manor, he dully realizes. He’s still shrouded with darkness, but his parents aren’t here. They had considered moving his parents on the grounds, but ultimately decided against it.

He lets himself pant, gripping his bedsheets. Would he be a bad son if he thinks that was a good decision?

Duke hears footsteps outside his door and freezes, his heart pounding in his ears. He squeezes his eyes shut.

Someone opens the door, and there’s a click—a familiar one, from the light switch. Duke cranes his neck to see Damian entering, the older boy awkward and groggy in his movements, but there.

Damian is still in the doorframe, his eyes roaming the room and looking anywhere but at Duke. Something gleams in his left pocket. “I heard… there were screams. Did you need something, Thomas?”

“Please,” Duke whispers, eyes wide and staring at the shadow behind Damian. “Can I have a hug?”

Damian pauses, steps back, then moves forward, making a beeline towards Duke. He envelops Duke into a hug, oddly detached and patting Duke on the back, but a hug nonetheless. Duke leans into the touch, feeling a tear roll down his face and onto Damian’s shirt. “Sorry,” he mumbles, his throat tight.

“It’s… alright,” Damian replies. “I was already awake. And I have other items of clothing.”

For some reason, that brings on the sobs into full-force, with Duke gasping for breath as he lets it all out. Damian is there, still patting Duke on the back until it becomes a rhythmic comfort.

Duke doesn’t know when he drifts off to sleep, but he wakes up with Damian’s shirt draped over him with his green blanket.

Sunshine slips in through the curtains, hastily pulled open, as sunshine blooms in Duke’s chest. He sprints downstairs, jumping and skipping stairs like he’s walking on air.

“Slow down, Master Duke!” Alfred reprimands, and Duke shrugs and does as Alfred says, but only a little bit.

He almost runs straight into Damian, but he stops himself just in time. He opens his mouth to thank Damian, but Damian furrows his eyebrows at Duke and says, “Did you talk to Father? He spoke to me about training,” and a tension has been lifted from Damian’s shoulders. He’s springier.

“I think?” Duke says, knocking his knuckles on his head trying to recall what else happened last night. “Yeah?”

Damian stares at him, his brown eyes meeting Duke’s own with a hint of something gleaming in the light. “Thank you,” he tells Duke honestly.

“No problem!” Duke chirps. And before he can take it back, he says, “That’s what brothers are for.”

(He doesn’t take it back when asked about it later. The term “brothers” feels right, even if they only started having amiable conversations last night. He doesn’t think about the implications.)

-

It’s six months of non-lethal training until Damian is deemed fit to go out into the field. Duke leans on Damian’s shoulder as the older boy sketches out a mannequin with armor. It’s when “Shadow” is written in neat cursive that Duke realizes it’s meant to be Damian’s suit.

He blinks, his eyes drooping.

He doesn’t have patrol tonight, or tomorrow for that matter, but he really needs to lay off the late-night patrols. And the late-night training. He doesn’t want to fall asleep in the middle of class.

“That looks cool,” he comments, taking in the design. It’s gray and black, a bat in the chest. Damian fills in the outline of a cowl, and—

“Hey, wait, is this just a mini Batman costume?”

Damian stiffens. Almost imperceptibly, but Duke is busy soaking up Damian’s warmth right now, so he notices.

Duke moves the desk lamp so he can see the drawing more clearly. “C’mon, Damian,” he says, “I know you can be more original than this.”

“Tt,” Damian responds, still tracing over the lines he’s already drawn. “It has already proven itself to be a suitable design; why bother?”

A curl falls in front of Duke’s eyes, and he blows it away. Huffs, puffs, and the whole shebang. “Because you’re not Bruce? I have my own suit. I chose the colors!” Yellow with black accents, because it’s always been a hopeful color for Duke, and that’s what he wants to inspire—hope. Also, it’s a lark color scheme, minus brown, because wearing brown? Yuck.

Yeah, sure, Lark has been described as a child flashlight several times, but Duke stands by his decision. Even now, thinking about his suit makes him smile.

Damian pauses for a while after that. His hand stills. “Are you suggesting Father isn’t someone I should aspire to be like?”

“Be like,” Duke points out. “Not be. Seriously. I think you would look really cool in green!”

A scoff comes from Damian at that. “I chose the name Shadow for a reason, I will not go out in bright colors and compromise stealth.”

Duke yawns and snuggles closer into Damian’s shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Dami. I’m just saying, you don’t have to be Batman.” His eyes close, and it’s a sweet relief. Damian doesn’t respond for a while, so Duke adds, voice soft, “I think Lark looks cooler than Batman, anyhow.”

He wakes up on Damian’s bed, the older boy and his sketch conspicuously missing. When Duke heads down to the Batcave for training, he sees a new paper pinned. He recognizes the swoopy thin lines of Damian’s art, but the design is totally new.

The suit is wicked cool, dark gray and all jagged edges where the Batman suit has smooth lines, and a little circle to the side of the chest with a Bat rather than one spread across the chest. It’s cloaked rather than caped, the hood concealing hair instead of a cowl. A black domino mask with white lenses covers the eyes. Golden accent lines run throughout the suit, and Duke wonders if people affiliated with the Bat can only really have one color scheme: black, gray, and yellow or gold.

He grins, looking at it, but turns at the quiet footfalls he’s been learning to recognize.

“Good morning!” he chirps at Damian, who’s rubbing the grogginess out of his eyes. Despite that, he’s already dressed, wearing a forest green sweater and black jeans.

Damian half-smiles and arches an eyebrow. “Do you still believe that Lark’s suit is the coolest?”

And c’mon, Duke has to defend his honor. He sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry. “Always and forever.”

“Well then, it appears you have been misinformed,” Damian hums.

Damian’s suit is completed within the week, and Duke has to admit—it looks even cooler when it’s real. Lark’s is still the best, though.

-

Duke would be lying if he says he isn’t dumbfounded every time he gets to visit the Watchtower. It’s in outer freakin’ space, of course he’s impressed. His headquarters is a literal cave. Even with four years as Lark under his belt, his jaw still drops.

Batman’s here for a routine League meeting. Normally, he and Damian don’t come with, but another sidekick—Duke makes a face at the word, he prefers the term partners, but the media sticks with that—debuted the other day. He goes by Kid Flash, and he seems pretty cool. Duke’s looking forward to meeting him… if the Flashes ever showed up on time.

Which they do not. So Duke and Damian wait, along with some others—Aqualad, Teen Lantern, Red Arrow, and Crush this time around—with Hawkwoman as their babysitter of sorts. She’s not the most thrilled with this assignment, but Duke can’t blame her, it’s pretty boring.

Duke and Damian sit with each other by the wall. Superboy should have been here but he and Superman had civilian duties to take care of, so they sit in comfortable silence.

He gives up within two minutes. It’s just too long to wait while doing nothing. He stands up to have a look around the Watchtower, maybe he can even find that huge window that shows off the expanse of space. His English teacher will love the words he writes about it.

Something catches his eye, a dull silver in the edges of his vision. Duke heads towards it, and to his delight, Hawkwoman left her mace on a table. A grin splits his face and he reaches out to hold it.

“What are you doing?” Damian hisses from behind him, pulling his hands away from the mace. “Don’t touch that!”

“But Shadow!” Duke argues. “It’s right there! It’s not even harmful, I think! It’s made out of alien metal, right? That’s so baller, I have to feel it for myself.”

Damian sighs and puts his head in his gauntlet-covered hands. “Nth metal, Lark. It’s made of Nth metal, and is potentially very dangerous.”

Duke takes the spare moment of distraction to hold the Nth metal, and he grins up into the ceiling. A mistake, he realizes as industrial lights beam down at him, causing him to squint and glance down.

Damian moves forward to pull the mace out of his hands, except there’s a quality to him, a certain golden sheen, and Duke backs up. He blinks, and Damian hasn’t even moved, but then he does, again, in the exact same way as before.

Damian’s lenses widen. “Lark, let that go. Now!” he commands. “It has an effect on you. Your eyes are—”

Duke blinks a few more times, not hearing the rest of that. His vision is so much sharper now. It’s making him a little dizzy, but he doesn’t say that.

Instead, he does let go of the mace, and it clatters to the floor noisily.

“Shadow,” he blurts, lurching forward.

Damian catches him and pulls him up into an embrace. Duke may be twelve now, but he’s reminded of his dad’s hugs. Firm and protective. He leans into it. “Are you alright?” Damian whispers into Duke’s ear.

Duke’s vision swims with lights and colors and brightness. He buries his face into Damian’s chest, relishing the darkness. He nods.

Damian’s hand rests on Duke’s back. “We’ll… we’ll figure this out,” he promises.

-

Duke swallows down a glass of punch at the side of the room in the middle of a gala. It slides down his throat and sloshes around in his stomach uneasily.

He stares at Cass, quiet for a ten-year-old but the brightest person in the room. Everywhere she goes, by Bruce’s side or not, people flock to her and their gazes are drawn in her direction. She glides through the gala graceful as the moon, but with the attention she’s getting, you’d think she’s the sun.

The gala is being held in celebration of Bruce’s adoption of Cass. A darling princess for the Wayne lineage, says one newspaper. Bruce Wayne’s pity adoptee, sneers another.

And Duke can relate. Bruce and Alfred tried to hide it from him, but the tabloids didn’t have anything good to say about him either. But Duke’s mind lingers on the difference.

He shakes his head, staring at his deep brown eyes through the cerise lense of the punch. It’s silly. Of course Bruce wouldn’t adopt him; Duke has perfectly good parents already. It would make the paperwork easier should—when his parents get cured.

“Something’s wrong,” Damian observes, walking up behind Duke.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Duke replies, ignoring the way his chest twists at the words.

He can practically feel Damian raise his eyebrows. “You’re lying, and we both know it. Come with me, Duke.”

Duke follows without a retort, and Damian leads him to the balcony. The gentle moonlight and starlight welcomes him more than the harsher lights of the chandeliers inside ever have.

“Since when did you become the emotionally intuitive one?” Duke asks, crossing his arms over the railing.

Damian huffs. “I am still not aware of what’s going on with you. But I am… I’m your older brother. It’s my duty.”

Duke hums at that. The description resonates deep in his bones, a familiar comfort, and it had never felt wrong. More like puzzle pieces snapping together.

Brother often means they share a father. It just as often can mean they do not. And Duke didn’t think they did—did they?

“It’s not Cass’ fault,” he says, playing a mental game with the Gotham skyline. He always tries to find his old neighborhood, before he got taken in by Bruce. It helps him remember, so one day, he might come home and he wouldn’t have forgotten. “It’s my brain that’s being fucky.”

“Language,” Damian reprimands under his breath. He then speaks in a louder tone, now meant for Duke’s ears. “I didn’t think so. You were never the resentful type. I’m grateful for that.”

Duke throws his head back to laugh. Five years ago, Damian would rather stab him than talk about feelings like this. Duke wanted to train with Damian. Funny how things change. “No, it’s—it’s something else. Bruce adopted Cass. That’s what’s bothering me, I think.”

Damian tilts his head at Duke. “Would you prefer for Father,”—Baba, now, behind closed doors, but Duke wouldn’t pry—“to adopt you?”

“No. I don’t think so. Would I? I already have a dad.” Duke sucks in a breath. He’d gone to visit them last weekend. No improvements, as per usual. Not even lucid enough to give Duke death threats.

“Family isn’t bound by blood,” Damian reminds him softly. “I have a brother now, and a sister. Who’s to say you can’t have two fathers?”

Duke blinks rapidly. His finger brushes the corner of his eye and comes away wet. “And I’m not a bad son? I’m not abandoning my dad for Bruce?”

“Absolutely not.”

And just like that, a dam bursts. One tear rolls down Duke’s cheeks, then another, then several more. Despite this, hope settles into his chest with the cool touch of the moon and stars.

“Thank you, Dami,” Duke says, jumping into a hug with the taller boy (though Damian won’t remain that for long—Duke shot up rapidly in the last year or so, and he’s quickly approaching Damian’s height).

Damian returns the hug, his chin warm against Duke’s shoulder when he tells Duke, “Anytime.”

-

Damian is dead.

Duke’s breath hitches, with quiet little Cass by his side and Steph and Harper there for moral support. The funeral is closed casket—the cover story had been kidnappers and an explosion, and thus, no body to bury.

Duke had seen Damian’s body. He and Bruce were a moment too late. Duke is fast, faster than Bruce when desperate, but he had glimpsed a moment into the future and fell back, momentarily blinded by the explosion that hadn’t even happened yet.

Maybe if he hadn’t relied on his powers, maybe if he’d pushed past that to run, maybe if he arrived a minute or two earlier, Damian wouldn’t have—

Cass squeezes his hand. Duke squeezes back, numb to the core. He lets go and steps back, into the shade of a tree.

Damian’s funeral is held on a day where the sun glares, its heat searing into their skin. It’s not right. Nothing about this is right. Damian is—was—seventeen.

After the funeral, Duke writes a note to Bruce. He writes that he’s resigning as Lark. He can’t do this anymore, not when Lark’s partner is Shadow as well as Batman. His words tumble out without eloquence, and his tears smear the ink.

He flees.

And maybe he’s a coward. He can live with that. But Gotham—the city of rebirth, he liked to call it. The city of new beginnings. The city that had always seemed like stubbornness and perseverance and hope. It was Damian’s beginning, but it was also his end.

And Duke remembers why another name was given to Gotham.

(City of death. Death and rebirth is the whole phrase. He can’t ever forget that.)

It’s marred with the memory of them, of Damian, of his parents, of the kid that hoped and told himself if no one else would help, he would. Duke can’t stay here. No matter how much this feels like a betrayal to his family, to his father that believed Gotham would shine true, to his mother who came here to start a new life, to Damian whose smile was like Gotham’s sun, he can’t stay. He can’t. He can’t.

So what if Duke is a traitor? He doesn’t have many left to betray.

Instead, he seeks refuge in Blüdhaven, notorious for being the only city worse than Gotham. A simple city, one that held no pretenses of goodness, one that wouldn’t betray Duke.

Duke thought he was Damian’s light, but now that Damian’s gone, he knows better.

Damian was a light all on his own, and without him, Duke’s light shatters into tiny shards.

One morning not long after the funeral, Duke wakes up to find the sun assaulting his eyes, which is a rarer occurrence in Blüdhaven than in Gotham.

He shuts the blinds and cries in the quiet, shadowed room, his chest heaving with every sob, painfully aware that every gasped breath is a breath Damian will never get to take.

-

(The next two years seem to fly by. Duke becomes Blüdhaven’s Signal, and begins to take on the local gangs. He dismantles them from the inside out, with a focus he didn’t often have before.

He becomes an emancipated minor at barely fifteen, and he enrolls himself into a public high school. He used to have a 4.0 GPA. Now, with late nights spent fighting, and early mornings spent applying makeup over the bruises, his school performance dips.

A boy, small and skinny, appears on his doorstep. Duke recognizes him—it’s Timothy Drake, the next door neighbor who Duke would visit every once in a while, the boy with the emptiest house Duke has ever seen. “I know you used to be Lark,” Tim Drake tells him, “that Bruce Wayne is Batman, and that Damian used to be Shadow.”

Duke flinches and nearly slams the door in tiny Tim’s face right there and then. (Duke is only two years older, but sometimes it feels like it could be centuries in between them.)

“I need you to be Lark again. Batman has been uncontrolled, lately. Violent.”

“No,” Duke says firmly, crossing his arms. “I’m not—I won’t go back.” Which is a lie. He briefly went back to finalize the emancipation. He avoided Bruce’s eyes, then.

“He needs you!”

“He needs his son!” Duke retorts. “And he has—he has Batgirl and Black Bat and Bluebird. He doesn’t need me.”

Tim only looks at him with steely blue eyes, and something in them causes a pit to drop in Duke’s stomach. Oh god, why didn’t he keep up with Gotham news, did someone else…?

Duke holds onto the memory of texting Cass yesterday. She said she was staying at Steph’s and Harper’s place, which meant all three are safe. (Right? Right.)

“I’m sorry,” he tells Tim earnestly, “but I can’t do it. I’m not that guy anymore.” And then the door shuts, with a soft click. Duke waits by the door until he hears Tim’s footsteps fade.

Jon Kent visits. Duke lets him in, and soon enough, teen heroes stop by Duke’s apartment in droves. Duke was only ever a reserves Teen Titan, to be called upon if there was an emergency; Damian was the one who made friends within the Titans, while Duke’s friends remained squarely in Gotham. Still, Titans stop by to say their condolences or just laugh over the counter with cups of instant hot cocoa.

It helps relieve the ache of loneliness. Duke doesn’t realize how much he needs other people to thrive until he calls for a Teen Titans study session and notices with glowing warm pride that his grades are straight A’s once again.

And… Duke travels back to Gotham. Not to stay, the wounds are still too fresh, but he has a conversation with Bruce, the man that has almost been a father to him for years now, and he thinks it might not be so bad.

Tim is Shadow now. Tim had a choice between Lark and Shadow, and he chose what he knows best. Instead, Steph becomes Lark while Cass fills in Steph’s shoes as Batgirl.

It’s almost a heartwarming picture of a not-quite family.

And Duke wonders if, one day, Damian might be a happy memory to look back to.

Of course, that’s when Damian returns.)

-

“You let him replace me,” Damian snarls, his hands balled into fists.

Duke freezes in place, staring at the man under the red helmet. Damian’s eyes glint with green, a sharp green that terrifies where the brown used to comfort. A shadow covers nearly three quarters of Damian’s face, but the green still pierces.

“Dami,” he says, his voice cracking. “You—you’re—”

Alive, Duke doesn’t get to say before Damian lunges at him with a knife, his eyes gleaming with madness.

-

“You have reached Red Hood. Do not try to contact me again.”

“Hey, yeah, Dami, it’s Duke, Harper and I finally found this number, I just… I just want to let you know you’re welcome back in the family whenever. Bruce isn’t even—he’s not even that angry anymore. All we want is for you to come home. We miss you. Please. I’ll call again if you don’t respond in twenty-four hours.”

“You have reached Red Hood. Do not try to contact me again.”

“Duke again. What the fuck, Damian? I know you’re seeing this. I saw you on the news. Someone managed to record a video of you walking out of that warehouse—we were going to ambush them tomorrow night, but I guess the first one there can call dibs. Anyways, I saw you check your phone. You know I’m here. You didn’t even kill any of them this time. Please come home. Calling again in twenty-four hours if you don’t respond.”

“You have reached Red Hood. Do not try to contact me again.”

“Am I the only one who leaves you voicemails? Does anyone else know you have this number, like, at all? That’s not the point. The point is that we’re still waiting. And you can come back whenever you’re ready. I just… yeah. Yeah. I’ll talk to you again in twenty-four hours.”

“You have reached Red Hood. Do not try to contact me again.”

“You know, Cass scared the shit out of Bruce the other day? She’s opened up a lot since after you… uh. Well. Anyways, you should have seen his face, Dami, it was hilarious. Almost as good as that time we put glitter into the vents of the Batmobile. I’ll talk to you again, yeah? Yeah.

“You have reached Red Hood. Do not try to contact me again.”

“I’m not actually part of the family, did you know that? Became an emancipated minor a few months after you died. I don’t know why I keep trying—if you won’t come back for family, who says you’ll come back for me? ...Does this sound sudden to you? For context, Bruce and I screamed at each other for a half hour straight about… never mind. I’ll talk to you la—oh, what the hell, you know the drill.”

“You have reached Red Hood. Do not try to contact me again.”

“...Dami? I’m in a little bit of a hurry here, but—whoa! Holy shit. I was wondering if you’d want to come to my graduation ceremony in Bludhaven next week? It’s, uh—fuck!—it would mean a lot to me if you were able to make it. I’m salutatorian. So no speeches but I’ll still look cool. Motherbitcher on a stick, I—tell me if you’re gonna come, alri—AHHHHHHHHHHH! You fucker, that hurts, I—why do I feel… dizzy…?”

“Hey! This is Duke, I can’t get to the phone right now, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’m fine. If it’s urgent, though, leave a message after the beep! ...Wait, does it beep?”

“Thomas, you imbecile, of course it beeps. You need to answer me and tell me where you are. I—I will try again.”

“Hey! This is Duke, I can’t get to the phone right now, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’m fine. If it’s urgent, though, leave a message after the beep! ...Wait, does it beep?”

“Answer me, where are you? Did you get yourself in trouble? Stupid, idiotic Thomas, why are you calling me on patrol?”

“Hey! This is Duke, I can’t get to the phone right now, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’m fine. If it’s urgent, though, leave a message after the beep! ...Wait, does it beep?”

“...Duke? I will come to your graduation ceremony. I would—I would love to see you again. Please be alright.”

“Hey! This is Duke, I can’t get to the phone right now, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’m fine. If it’s urgent, though, leave a message after the beep! ...Wait, does it beep?”

“Duke! I’m on my way. Please be alright, please be alright. If you die, I will hunt you down and throw you in a Pit, and the Pits are not to be trifled with. There’s no telling what you’ll come back like. But I… hey, watch where you’re going!”

“Hey! This is Duke, I can’t get to the phone right now, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’m fine. If it’s urgent, though, leave a message after the beep! ...Wait, does it beep?”

“I’ve talked with Father. Isn’t that what you wanted? This is a terrible way to go about it. He has a tracker on you and I’m headed to your coordinates. Please be alright. I’ll… see you when I see you.”

“Hey! This is Duke, I can’t get to the phone right now, but don’t worry, I’m sure I’m fine. If it’s urgent, though, leave a message after the beep! ...Wait, does it beep?”

“Duke Thomas, you are a colossal dumbass. But I wanted to talk to you. Doctor Thompkins is checking you over, I’m trying to avoid Father and my replacement. I… I hope you’ll be alright. You’ve paled and you’ve lost a lot of blood, but Doctor Thompkins believes you’re salvageable. You’ll be okay.

“I didn’t get to finish my message, one of the earlier ones, I just realized. If you don’t make it out of this… I will hunt down an unused Pit for you, no matter the risks. Don’t you dare say you’re not part of this family, because that isn’t true in the slightest. You are my brother. I’ve been neglecting my duties as the elder brother. I—I promise to remedy that when you awake.

“Please be alright.”

-

“I got my phone back,” Duke says to Damian. Damian’s eyes are closed, as if he fell asleep, but his shoulders are tense.

Damian’s eyes flutter open. The green pierces through Duke’s chest, they’re nothing like what he remembers. He knows all too well he can scarcely remember his mother’s real laugh anymore. What if one day he forgets Damian’s brown eyes as well?

“I heard your message. Would you really…?”

Damian crosses his arms. “I meant every word.”

Duke grins, holding out his arms. “Hug?”

Damian accepts, gently embracing Duke. “Moron.”

A tear runs down Duke’s face, but it’s warm and filled with hope for the future. Their future. “That’s what brothers are for.”

-

“Tt,” Damian says, his voice modulated coming from underneath the helmet. “You seem to be doing alright with everyone living in the Manor. I am not needed.”

Duke frowns and revs his motorcycle. Damian lost his in the warehouse explosion, so Duke’s giving him a ride to the Batmobile. They’ll steal it, just like when they were kids. “You can’t hoist the oldest child responsibilities onto me, that’s not how this works. We share it, remember? Also, we all miss you. Lark,”—now Tim, after Damian made the attempt on his life, but Duke’s positive that Tim is inventing his own mantle now—“would be a little testy about it, but he really admired you, y’know. That’s why he took your name and not mine.”

They enter the Narrows, the grimy apartments and alleyways familiar, but they really have gotten better in the past decade or so. Duke still has an apartment in Blüdhaven, but he’s been going back and forth between both cities pretty frequently.

Gotham is his home. He can’t stay away long.

“I still haven’t properly apologized—” Damian cuts himself off. Duke turns towards where the Batmobile is parked, squinting to see what’s captured Damian’s attention.

A small boy, who couldn’t be more than thirteen, drops a huge Batmobile tire and runs.

Damian chases after him, with Duke close behind. “You gotta admit,” he says to Damian with a grin, “the kid’s got guts. Jacking tires from the Batmobile?”

They slow down as they find the kid, and share a look. The kid may have guts, but to even try must mean he’s desperate.

“Hey!” Duke calls, his bright as hell Signal outfit probably more inviting than Damian’s whole shtick, especially with the sword sheathed at Damian’s side. He turns on a little penlight attached to his keyring. “Hey, we don’t want to hurt you. How about we go out to eat?”

-

“Hey, Dickhead!” Jason yells up at the ceiling. Duke cranes his neck to see, and… yeah, Dick’s on the chandelier again. It shakes, the light scattering and dancing across the room.

Damian is sitting at the table, sipping at his jasmine tea. “Jason,” he sharply reprimands.

Jason’s tiny nose scrunches up. “Sorry, Mom.”

Without missing a beat, Damian asks in a tone quiet enough for only Duke to hear, “Do you ever miss when it was only us two?”

“Always,” Duke responds. “But I wouldn’t give up any of… this family for the world.”

And maybe they’re a little broken, but they’re trying to rebuild. Duke isn’t Damian’s light anymore, nor is Damian a shadow, or another light, or anything his younger self's mind could have dreamed of. They’re people. Living, breathing people who try their best, and it’s more of a partnered relationship than anything.

They help each other. They stick by each other’s sides and they learn, and they grow, and they find that they’re more alike than they think.

Maybe they’re not alright. But that’s alright. They’re trying.

“Besides,” Duke says after a brief pause, “it wasn’t nearly as funny when it was only me driving you up a wall.”

Damian snorts at that and elbows him.

And everything seems right in the world.

Also read and comment on AO3!

[pl-panda]

Damienette arranged marriage: part 15

Three in a row. I’m on fire tonight. 

Credits: Miraculous Ladybug team for the elements I take from MLB show. DC for their characters, @ozmav for the AU, @maribat-archive for giving me access to so many different stories to have take inspirations from, @thyladyanput for idea for Chat Damian and me for the plot.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Part 12 Part 13

part 14

Damienette arranged marriage: part 15

NEXT

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Damian slowly approached and took Marinette’s hand. He leaned over so their faces were only centimeters apart.

“I am sorry.’

------------------------------------------

Damian hesitated. He still was not sure of this. Back in the league his grandfather always told him that emotions are for weak. Kissing someone like that was just a tool to exploit them. His mother had a bit more… romantical approach. That this is part of loving someone and a symbol of commitment. Of course he was five back then so she probably spared him some details. But this was only reinforced when he left the league. It was always symbol of affection and girls at school kept babbling about how magical it would be. He never bothered to really listen, but he did suddenly remember all the talking. And there was Marinette.

She told him that she didn’t like being kissed. There was this one instance with Felix where she legitly punched him. She told him that she was waiting with her first kiss for the right moment. Well, she admitted she had to kiss Chat Noir once to save him, but it was just a peck on the lips. That would work… Just a peck… But he still couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to ruin it for her. Damian, deep down, wanted it to be mutual thing. 

In the far corner of the room, Tikki, Ryuko, Viperion and Jon stood awkwardly. It was like watching Sleeping beauty, especially with Marin in this dress and her hair low. But the image was broken by her pain, so visible on her face, and the eerie green glow around her chest. Also, all except Tikki were silently processing other revelations. Excuse us, what the hell?

Damian finally straightened. He couldn’t do it. He wanted to. He wanted to ease her pain so much. But he could not do it that way. He had to do it, but his whole body rebelled against him. He knew her for twenty-four hours and she already meant to him more than he would ever admit. Maybe it was because they were married, but she did not treat him like anyone but himself. She did not distinguish between Robin, Wayne, Al Ghoul. She just saw Damian. And she gave him a chance. She opened in front of him and he was not about to abuse this. He didn’t want to be like Chat d’Amour who just saw her as his property. She should be allowed to make the choice herself and not be forced.

“You need to do it.” Tikki finally urged him. “She is so much pain. I don’t know how long her heart will survive.”

Damian sighted. He leaned again and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. “I am so sorry.”

He was about to kiss her properly when suddenly her face turned from the expression of pain into… calmness. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at surprised Damian with recognition. Tears formed in her eyes.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t want to kiss him. I swear. I tried to stop him but he was just so strong…” 

“What are you talking about?” Damian asked bewildered

“Chat… He… he kissed me… And then there was the pain. And all the time this scene kept replaying in my mind… I am so sorry…”

Damian pulled her into tight hug and started to whisper to her ear. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It was not your fault and I would never blame you. I am the one who should be sorry for what my mother did to you…” All the time, he kept stroking her hair, smoothening them after they turned into the mess when she wriggled from pain. 

“B-but… I… He… We… You…” She couldn’t form an intelligible sentence at the moment. 

“I do not care. It was not your fault. You did your best I’m sure.”

They sat there in peace. It was surprising for everyone gathered (including now awake Chloe who was still trying to process everything that happened. Given the amount of news and emotions in one day, she was doing fine. Finally, Marinette stopped crying. 

“If you say ‘I’m sorry again’, I will go out there and not come back before I bring you skin of that envious bastard.” He threatened. “You are not at fault and I will not let you blame yourself.” He said in stern voice.

“T-thank you... “ She said weakly. 

“Now we have to sort out a bit of a mess that formed.”

“What mess?” Marinette asked curiously. 

“You are Ladybug…” Chloe stated, finally regaining the ability to speak. She still sounded like she was not fully there. “You are married. Your husband is Damian Wayne. He is also Robin. You are Ladybug!” The last sentence was shouted.

Kagami looked around and decided that secret identity was not as important as comforting her only friend. “Longg! Open Sky!” The Kwami left her choker and floated next to Tikki. “Mari-san. I honestly have no words to even start describing this situation, but I trust your judgement.” The fencer then turned to Damian. “That being said, I feel obliged to challenge you to a duel to test your worthiness to court my friend.”

“I like her.” Chloe commented. 

Luka also decided to just drop his costume. “Sass! Scales rest!” He was now dressed in his usual garments. “I would challenge you for a duel as well, but I think if you can beat Kagami then I will pose no challenge. Beware the Sabine though.” He half-joked, half warned the poor boy.

“Can we tell them everything?” Damian asked, looking at Marinette.

“I… Fine…”

--------------------------------------

When they finally sorted this mess out and left, they decided to take a stroll through the park. 

“I… thank you.” She finally said after walking a bit in silence. “I just… I mean we… And he… You… we… Ugh! Why is this so hard!” Marinette threw her hands up in the air and accelerated the pace until Damian stopped her and cupped her hands with his.

“tt. You did nothing wrong. You are perfect to me. My own Angel.” He said, trying to comfort her. 

“You… You think I am an Angel?” She asked shyly.

“You know how my brothers call me demon spawn. I… Earned this. I was awful. And it didn’t help that others always saw me as either Robin, Wayne, Al Ghoul or just Demon Spawn. You just saw me as Damian. I should be the one thanking you.” He said honestly.

Marinette blushed, becoming the color of her dress. THey just stood there as the sun set behind the buildings.

“Just to be clear. I do not care if he kissed you. It was wrong and I will still skin him alive for that.” Receiving a glare from her he huffed, but continued. “But I want to make sure that you understand. You are not the one to blame. If he tries something like this again, there will be no place in heaven, hell or earth that he will hide. That I can promise to you.”

Marinette was silent, taking his words in. A smile was plastered on her face. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you. I…”

“Shhh. I know. I am also happy.” He paused for a moment. “But if we already revealed the marriage to your friends, I think it is time to reveal it also to your parents.” He stated. “Otherwise they might learn from a different source and I do not wish to be at war with them.

Marinette agreed and they walked back to the bakery, hand in hand. They entered and Marinette led him to the living room. She could hear the talking and got curious, but shrugged it off as a TV playing.

“Maman! Papa! I am home! There is someone I wanted to intro…” She walked into the living room, still holding Damian by his hand. The sight was as scary as it was amusing.

Sabine was standing next to Talia Al Ghouls who sitting there… tied with heavy ropes. 

——————————————————————————————————–

Taglist (sorry if I missed you)@pheonixashtree @sassakitty @unabashedbookworm @vixen-uchiha @maggiecc12 @actualdisasterwoman @tired-butterfly @shizukiryuu @floralfi @imanerddealwith @northernbluetongue @krispydefendorpolice @toodaloo-kangaroo @dast218 @bluesoulblueheart @theatreandcomicfreak @disneyfoxuniverse @mindfulmagics @alwaysnumberonetruth @nyaabinch @jardimazul @lenamau @rosep16 @dramatic-squirrel @sonif50 @daminett4life @lulutheawkwardess @weird-pale-blonde-person @mooshoon @jeminiikrystal @mochegato @moonlightstar64 @dragonflyswing @silverwhiteraven @shamefullove @magic-miraculous @valeks-princess @heaven428 @mlbchaosqueen @winter-gardenflower @spicybelladonna @emo-elaine13 @vetilora @karukofox21 @my-name-is-michell  @sturchling @lokiifriggasonn @redscarlet95 @melicmusicmagic @interobanginyourmom @the-fusionist @razzledazzle247 @miss-mysterys-blog @darkthunder1589 @i-is-mysterious @catthhay @the-one-woman-army @zestyzealot @dahjokester @write-for-your-life2 @mermaidreject @peachedpocky @sassakitty @dahjokester @crazylittlemunchkin @novicevoice @justafanwarrior @eliza-bitch @schrodingers25

[btschooseafic]

Hey you, what’s your dream?

Pairing: platonic!oc x ot7

Details: manager!oc, predebut/idolverse, partial BTS World!verse

Summary: Jungkook feels the pressure of being the main vocal in their debut song.

Warnings: This is a fictional story based on real events. The characters presented here are not the same as their real life counterparts. (TW: non-explicit talk of anxiety/ mental health treatment) [Masterlist]

Track 12: Golden Maknae

Talk To Me- Cavetown

“You don't have to be a prodigy to be unique

You don't have to know what to say or what to think”

“You want me to be the main vocal?” Jungkook stared wide eyed at Aviva. “But this is so sudden… I’m not ready…”

“That’s okay. It’s your debut song, so if you felt totally ready, I’d say you were being overconfident,” Aviva said, reaching over and hugging him.

“Our maknae!” Jimin clapped his hands and then jumped over, wrapping his arms around both of them as far as they would go. “Don’t worry about it too much! I’ll make sure to be a good lead!”

“But—but still…” Jungkook squirmed out of their arms. “Why am I the main vocal? There are other singers.”

“I asked everyone their opinion, and it was a nearly unanimous decision,” Aviva told him. Yoongi frowned.

“Nearly? Who didn’t vote for the maknae?”

Jungkook sighed. “I didn’t.”

“Oh.” Yoongi nodded. “I see.”

“I think it was the right choice,” Jin put in. “Jungkook-ah, your voice is the most stable, anyway.”

“Nice face, great body, and sings well too! Wow!” Taehyung shot him a thumb’s up. “You’re not our Golden Maknae for nothing!”

Jungkook swallowed, rubbing his throat.

“Oh, if your throat feels sore, I’ve got you covered,” Aviva said, pointing to a bag she placed on the couch.

“What’s in here?” Jin wondered, poking around. “Ah… I see… Certainly a lot of variety, manager-nim.” Everyone gathered around.

“I put my trust in modern medicine! I choose the ice-cold cooling spray!” Namjoon grabbed it.

“Lozenges should be plenty,” Yoongi thought, comparing two different packages.

“They’re different flavors,” Aviva told him.

“Yeah, but which one works better?” Yoongi wondered.

“And which one tastes better?” Jin wondered. Aviva frowned.

“Wait a minute, my Jungkookie senses are tingling.”

“Your what are what?” Jin asked, blinking at her.

“Spiderman reference,” Hoseok told him, doing the pose.

“Ah! Spiderman!” Jin nodded, also doing the pose.

“This happened a couple of times in LA,” Aviva said. “If I’m right—”

“Whoosh!”

“Whoosh!” Jin and Hoseok were pretending to spray each other with web.

Aviva shushed them. “Listen for a minute.” The sounds of music and Jungkook’s verse came floating towards them.

“Ah…” Jimin grimaced. “He’s practicing already.”

“This happened in LA?” Namjoon asked Aviva, his brow furrowing. “You didn’t mention it before.” Aviva shrugged.

“It was only a couple of times, when he got really stressed out about having trouble with a routine, he would sneak off and practice it himself until he got it down.”

“Ah, yeah, I’ve seen that.” Hoseok shook his head. “I’ve tried telling him not to stress so much, but…” Aviva frowned.

“Think about a time when you were really angry, or really sad, would telling you to ‘calm down’ or ‘cheer up’ help at all?”

Hoseok blinked. “I guess not.”

“I’d probably just get angrier out of spite,” Jimin thought.

“Yeah…” Aviva breathed out. “I know this isn’t talked about a lot around here, but it’s normal for you guys to face a lot of stressful, and emotional situations in this industry. It would be good to have some copping mechanisms prepared.”

Namjoon nodded slowly. “Have you talked to Jungkookie about that?”

“Yeah. I think that was the closest he’s ever come to yelling at me,” Aviva thought.

Namjoon blinked.

“Jungkookie, yell, at you? Wow, yeah, he must’ve been very stressed out.”

“He respects you a lot, Avi-noona,” Taehyung thought. “But maybe that just makes it harder for him sometimes, cause he wants to look good in front of you.”

“Hmmm…” Aviva ran her hand through her hair. “I wish I knew what to do.” She turned to Jin. “He’s been eating, right?”

“Seokjin’s Chicken House is open 24/7. We also provide delivery…” He winked at her. Aviva laughed.

“I might take you up on that sometime, when I don’t feel like cooking.”

Namjoon rested his hands on his hips. “Back to Jungkook-ah... I guess all we can do is be there for him. He says he’s not, but he’s capable of doing well, and then some.”

On the morning of the first day of recording, Jin invited Aviva over for breakfast.

“Wow, Jin-oppa…” She looked over the large spread. “This looks great!”

“Wait!” Namjoon said, as everyone moved to dig in. “Our Golden Maknae first!”

“What? Me?” Jungkook stared at him. Aviva frowned.

“Yeah.” Yoongi nodded. “Being main vocal is hard, so you need to eat more. I agree.”

“Did you sleep okay?” Aviva asked him as he picked up his chopsticks. His hands were shaking slightly. She pushed his hair back from his face. He was pale.

“I’m fine, noona,” Jungkook muttered.

“Soy-braised beef.” Hoseok held the platter out to him. “Let me fill your plate!” Everyone started piling things onto Jungkook’s plate.

“Thanks…everyone, but I sing better on an empty stomach,” Jungkook said, his pale face looking slightly green now. “I’m gonna go nap in the car…”

“At least have some water,” Aviva said, moving to pour some for him.

“I said I’m fine!” Jungkook snapped. “You don’t have to always baby me!” Everyone stared at him. He froze for a moment, and then ran out the door. Namjoon reached over and squeezed Aviva’s shoulder.

“You okay?”

She just grimaced.

“Huh? Jungkookie doesn’t want the meat?” Jimin stared at it hungrily.

“I guess he just wanted time al—Hey, Jimin-ah, you couldn’t even be a little patient?” Namjoon said, slapping his chopsticks down. Meat splattered over the table.

“Kim Namjoon-ssi!” Jin said, standing up. “Don’t waste food!”

“Ah, sorry, hyung! I’m clean it up.” Namjoon reached for a napkin and knocked over someone’s water, spilling it over Jin’s plate. Jin started cursing as Namjoon kept apologizing.

“Save the meat!” Taehyung said, grabbing the plate and munching on it steadily.

“Tae!” Jimin shouted. “Leave some for me!”

“If Jungkookie can pass on something this delicious, he must be ready!” Tae thought. “It means he’s completely focused on the song, and nothing else.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Aviva said quietly. She felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned. “Yoongi-oppa?” She hoped he had something encouraging to say.

“You distract Tae while I grab the meat,” he told her.

Aviva left the boys to fight over the meat, checking the car to find Jungkook stretched out in the back.

“Time to go yet?” He said, his eyes still closed.

“Not yet,” she said. “They might be a while.” He let out a breath.

“Noona?”

“Hmm?”

“Sorry for shouting at you.”

“It’s fine,” she said. Jungkook made an uncertain noise.

While recording his section, Jungkook became fidgety, and his voice cracked. He coughed, and spluttered, looking pleadingly through the glass at Namjoon.

“Hyung,” he said, raspy. “I’m losing my voice…”

Aviva took Jungkook to a doctor, worried about his throat, while Jin drove the rest of the boys back to the dorm.

“Jeon Jungkook-ssi, I’m very concerned,” the doctor said.

Aviva’s jaw worked. She let out a breath.

“What are you concerned about, doctor?”

“Well, let’s just get this out of the way… I don’t see any physical issues with the vocal chords at all. His throat is exceptionally healthy. “

“Then…?” Aviva wondered.

“The patient is a 16-year-old boy, right? What’s going on that he’s so stressed out? Looking at these test results, I’d expect him to be a soldier in an active combat zone.” The doctor handed over a pile of papers. Aviva skimmed them, but there were a lot of words she didn’t understand.

She and Jungkook took the train and a bus back together. With Jungkook’s permission, Aviva took out a dictionary and began translating a bunch of the medical terms. “Cortisol, adrenaline… ah, I see why she was so worried.”

“Explain it to me,” Jungkook said. “Please.”

“Cortisol and adrenaline are hormones that the body releases during stressful situations. They can help you preform at a higher level than usual, but too much exposure can have a negative impact on your mind and body,” Aviva told him. Jungkook frowned, looking from the dictionary to her.

“It doesn’t say all that in here. Did you just happen to know it? Are you secretly a genius like Namjoon hyung?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t do particularly well in Chemistry. I mean, I never got to learn it properly, so I just studied it on my own for the test I took… it’s, um, like the equivalent of a high school diploma in the U.S, so if it makes me a little less under qualified there, you know? But, um, I know about these hormones in particular, cause I’ve had them on my blood tests before too, in high levels.”

Jungkook squeezed his hands into fists in his lap. “Jen-ah said… she said both of you have suffered from a lot of anxiety, just like me.”

“Yeah.” Aviva nodded. “We have.”

“She also said you read a lot of books on how to deal with that kind of stuff, and taught yourself coping techniques. I know you offered to teach me before, but… do you think you could try again? I mean, if you still want to.”

“Jungkook-ah, at the time, I probably should’ve seen a doctor, instead of taking it on myself,” Aviva admitted. “I’m not a professional.”

“I can’t,” Jungkook muttered. “If I’m going to be an idol, and that gets out… Anyway, I’m still a minor. My parents would have to pay for it, and I don’t want to worry them.” Aviva sighed. “Will you help me?”

“I’ll do my best, Jungkook-ah.” Over the rest of the bus ride, Aviva taught Jungkook a few breathing and grounding techniques.

Back at the dorm, Taehyung and Jimin immediately grabbed Jungkook, dragging him into one of the rooms. “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you!” Tae said.

“Aviva-yah,” Namjoon said. “How is he?”

“Well, Jungkook-ah said it was okay for me to share this with you, but don’t go spreading it around, okay?” After they nodded, she told them about his test results.

“Fuck,” Yoongi said.

“We fucked up,” Hoseok agreed. “I guess the things we thought were supportive were just putting even more pressure on him.”

“We have to remember, he’s only sixteen,” Aviva said.

Namjoon rubbed his neck. “This is my fault. He’s talented and he works hard, so I kept pushing him…”

“We all played a hand,” Yoongi said. “We’re a team.”

Namjoon smiled tensely at him. “Yeah, hyung, but I’m supposed to be the leader. So I should take responsibility.”

“Should we go rescue him from Jimin-ah and Taehyungie?” Aviva wondered. “Ah, but maybe he’ll think I’m babying him again…”

Jin patted her on the back. “We’re all worried. We just want to help.”

“Yeah, but…” Yoongi shook his head, looking at Aviva. “You told us there was no physical injury, and I still saw Jimin-ah grab the first aid kit.”

“At least they’re sure to shower him with lots of attention!” Hoseok said cheerfully. Then he wilted. “Wait, maybe that would just stress him out more…”

“He needs to build some confidence,” Yoongi thought. “But how?”

“If we could just get him singing, but not thinking so much about it,” Jin thought. “Ah, wait!” He snapped his fingers. “I’m a genius! I have the perfect idea.” He tilted his head. “Well, maybe.” He shrugged. “Eh, it’s worth a try.”

Namjoon stared at him. “…You’re gonna give me whiplash, hyung.”

“Avi-yah.” Jin put his hands on her shoulders. “I will draw Jimin-ah and Taehyung-ah out, so you go talk to Jungkookie and work your manager-magic until I give you the signal.” He started pushing her down the hall.

“Manager-magic?” Namjoon wondered.

“What’s the signal?” Aviva wanted to know.

“You’ll know it when you see it!” Jin said excitedly.

Aviva waited until Jimin and Taehyung ran out of the room, shooting her thumbs up and grins, before running off again towards the kitchen. Aviva knocked on the door uncertainly. “Jungkook-ah? Are you sleeping? Can I come in?”

“Ah, noona… okay. It’s a little embarrassing, but I think I could use a hand with these.”

“What’s embarrass—” Aviva dissolved into giggles when she saw the bandages wrapped around his head and his arm.

“Ah, I’m not sure if they were actually trying to help, or just mess with me, but…” He struggled with one of the bandages. Aviva sat next to him on the bed.

“May I…?” She reached towards him. He nodded. He watched her as she worked out the knot, her lip pinched between her front teeth as she concentrated.

“Noona, can I ask you… those things you were nervous about in the past, the things that gave you test results like mine, and made you want to learn those techniques… were you able to get passed it?”

“Hmm, well, there were a couple of different situations,” she said, unwrapping the bandage from his head and moving to the one on his arm. “One situation that used to give me a lot of anxiety was the idea of moving to South Korea. In general, I think I handled that pretty well.” Jungkook nodded.

“You’re one of the strongest people I know,” he said. She smiled.

“Thank you. I know you mean it when you say it, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way myself. Some days I struggle to do even the bare minimum.” She finished taking the bandage off of his arm and twisted it into a ball. “Another situation I was anxious about was that High School test I mentioned earlier. I passed, but… I didn’t do very well. Chances are, if I ever want to take any classes in the U.S. again, I would need to retake that test first. Some days, you don’t win.”

Jungkook flopped down onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

“So you’re saying either I give up, or I just keep trying until I get it right?”

She lay down next to him. “I didn’t say that. I mean, you could do that, but it sounds very tiring, Jungkookie.”

He turned on his side, looking at her. “It is. Is there a third option?”

“I don’t know. But there’s usually an alternative route, you just have to find it. If it’s a goal you want to reach badly enough, you should keep trying until you get it, but maybe try a few different ways?” She sighed. “I don’t know, JK, I’m still figuring this out.” He smiled.

“That’s one thing I like about you, noona, you’re not afraid to admit when you don’t have the answers. Right now, I don’t know what to do. I really want to be the main vocalist, I really want to do well, but… I don’t know how. How do I find the alternative route?” Suddenly there was a knock on the window. They both jumped, Jungkook moving slightly in front of Aviva. “Burglars?”

“Um, I don’t think so. I think it might be��” She walked over to the window and pulled open the curtain, rolling her eyes when she saw Jin striking a pose on the other side. Jungkook snickered.

“What’s he doing?”

“I’ve got no clue. Let’s find out.” Aviva pulled open the window. “Oppa, I am very interested to see where you’re going with this.”

“Prepare to be amazed, manager-nim, and Jeon Jungkook-ah!” Jin said, striking another pose.

Aviva sniffed. “Something smells good.”

“Why, thank you, Namjoon-ah’s minding it for me, though, so we’d better hurry before he lets it burn. Come join us in the backyard, okay?” Jin rushed off.

Jungkook and Aviva exchanged a bemused look before rushing for the door.

The boys had used a plank of wood and some crates to fashion together a low table, placing a grill on top of it, where they were cheerfully cooking meat and vegetable skewers. Someone had strung Christmas lights up overhead, giving the backyard a cozy and warm atmosphere.

“You have to add onions!” Hoseok was saying. “Onions are the best when grilled.”

“It’s a miracle cure!” Taehyung singsonged. “When you’re feeling down, you go go full speed ahead to where the meat is!”

“The guest of honor is late!” Namjoon said, grinning at Jungkook.

“Come on, come on!” Jimin said, running over to them, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him over to sit. Aviva hovered awkwardly in the background for a moment before Jin caught her eye and waved her over. She sat in an empty spot between him and Yoongi.

“What do you think?” Jin asked, turning to Jungkook and motioning at everything.

“…Looks good,” Jungkook admitted, a small smile slipping onto his face. The other boys cheered. Hoseok started pouring everyone a cup of beer while Jin started making up a plate for Aviva.

“So eat and cheer up!” Taehyung said, nudging Jungkook’s arm with his.

“Yeah, eat and hang in there so we can practice even harder!” Hoseok said. Aviva frowned at him.

“Hobi…” She said warningly.

“I’m fine,” Jungkook told her, actually looking like he meant it for once.

“Let’s eat until we die!” Yoongi said, grabbing another piece of meat.

“Eat until we die?” Jin repeated. “Don’t you mean eat until we debut?”

Yoongi snorted. “Wait, before we eat,” Taehyung said, ignoring Yoongi’s pointed chewing. “Shouldn’t we say something?”

“Oh yeah, a toast,” Hoseok agreed. “We can’t skip that.”

“I always do it… so today should be the maknae’s turn,” Namjoon suggested. Everyone cheered again. Jungkook waved his hand dismissively.

“You should say something, since it’s your party,” Jimin agreed.

“If you don’t have anything prepared, you can say Seokjin-hyung thanks for the delicious meat!” Jin offered.

“Or something like Taehyung-hyung, I love you!” Tae suggested. Jin laughed.

“Ah…” Jungkook stared down at his drink. “I’m sorry, for being the worst one in the studio—” Everyone interrupted him with noises of protest.

“What do you mean? Don’t say that!” Jimin whined.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jin agreed.

Namjoon insisted Jungkook had done so well that his ears had melted and fused together. Hoseok played along, asking him if he needed to go to the hospital.

“Or maybe Aviva-yah can kiss it better?” He cooed. Even in the dark they could see Namjoon’s face flush.

“You kiss it better yourself,” Aviva said, tired of his antics. Hoseok looked at Namjoon thoughtfully as everyone laughed.

“Jungkookie, you’re the main vocal. If you keep saying you didn’t do well, what does that make us?” Taehyung wondered.

Jungkook looked thoughtful.

“If Jungkook-ah can’t think of anything to say, maybe he should just serenade us, melt our ears,” Namjoon put in.

Jungkook started to sing, with the others gradually joining in. By the second chorus, even Aviva had joined, so quietly that only Yoongi and Jin heard and glanced at her, grinning.

“You’ve got a nice voice,” Yoongi said in her ear, making her shiver slightly. “Are you sure you’re not the one who should be debuting?”

“Shut up!” She whispered, elbowing him. He winced.

“Watch the shoulder,” he muttered.

“Sorry!”

Aviva stayed over early into the morning, helping clean the yard so the landlady wouldn’t yell at them.

“Well, these two are useless,” Namjoon thought, his voice muffled as Taehyung squished his cheeks, serenading him. Jimin was hanging off of Joon’s back like a monkey.

“Send them to bed,” Aviva told him.

“Yeah.” Namjoon gave Jimin a piggy-back ride. Taehyung trailed after them, still singing.

“Ah, I think Hobi-hyung is done for as well,” Jungkook (only slightly drunk himself), spoke up.

“I can tuck him in,” Aviva offered.

“Yay!” Hoseok hugged her tightly, pressing her face against his chest, tucking his chin over the top of her head.

“Ugh, Hobi, can’t breath!” Aviva squeaked.

“Avi’s comin’ to bed with me!” Hoseok gloated to Yoongi, sticking his tongue out. “Take that, hyung!” Yoongi glared at him.

“Jungkook-ah,” he said firmly.

“Got it.” Jungkook grabbed Hoseok’s arm and peeled him off of her with surprising strength. “Come on, hyung, don’t do anything you’ll regret in the morning.”

“No regrets!” Hoseok cried, slinging his arm around the younger boy’s shoulders.

“You okay?” Yoongi asked Aviva, a little concern leaking through his usual blank expression. Aviva smiled.

“It’s fine, Hobi’s always clingy, even when he’s not drunk.”

“Yeah, I guess…” Yoongi was still frowning.

“Chingu!” Jin called. “Where are those garbage bags?”

“Eh, you used all of them already?” Yoongi groaned. “Seriously?” He took a full bag and dragged it over to the door. “I’ll get more.” He leaned close to Aviva. “Keep an eye on hyung, he’s drunker than he looks.”

“Okay,” Aviva said. “Yoongi…”

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay carrying all that? Your shoulder—”

“It’s fine,” he said tensely, sighing when she stared at him. “No, for real. Physical therapy helped a lot.”

“That’s great.” Aviva gave him a quick hug before going back to Jin.

“So…” Jin hummed as he cleaned, his neck flushed from the alcohol. “You and Yoongi-yah…?”

“What about Yoongi-oppa?” Aviva asked innocently.

“Well, isn’t that the stereotypical plot, the group members all fighting over the same girl?” Jin thought. Aviva frowned.

“You watch too many dramas.”

“Maybe.” Jin shrugged. “I’m just saying I wouldn’t want that to happen, especially before we’ve even debuted.”

“Jin-oppa, they just like to joke around, they’re not seriously interested in me.”

“Aish, Aviva-yah, you aren’t that oblivious, are you?” Jin looked her in the eye, suddenly looking a lot less drunk than he had a moment ago. She ignored the heat rising in her face, holding the eye contact without flinching.

“It wouldn’t happen. I’m a good friend to have, but as far as… I wouldn’t be a good girlfriend.” She’d only had a sip of beer with the cheers earlier, she wondered if it was possible to drunk off of one sip? Or was she overtired? Because these were things she had never spoken about, not even with Soonyoung or Jen. These were things she didn’t even like to think about in the privacy of her own mind. “There are things I don’t… I won’t…” She let out a breath, letting her words fade away.

“… I’m sorry, Viva-yah, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Jin said, his expression softening. “I think I might’ve been too harsh.”

[stxleslyds]

MY REVIEW OF UNDER THE RED HOOD!

EDIT: This is Tati from the present, Hello! I am writing this little message right now to let you know that I am rebloging this post because I recently re-read it and I wanted to make it “better”, this was my second review that I had ever made and I am quite fond of it but it needed to be brushed up and made easier to read. Now, let me be honest, I am not an excellent writer so there are probably some mistakes here still but I like it even more now, so yeah, that’s all I had to say!

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

This review is here not only because I love that book but because Geoff Johns and Scott Lobdell’s characterization of Jason and Red Hood gives me nightmares and it’s just annoying.

First let me set the scene, here we go!

Jason’s death was confirmed in book three of four in the Death in the Family event back in December, 1988 (Batman #428). But he is officially brought back sixteen years and two months after his death in the iconic Batman: Under the (Red) Hood event (Batman #635-641, #645-650, Annual #25)

This particular event is just wonderful, I love this for many reasons some of which I will probably talk about in this post but it has impacted me so much that if anyone asks me what Batman story I would recommend it would be this one.

Now just a heads up, I always felt impartial to Batman as a hero but around three years ago I started borderline hating the guy and now I just can’t stand him half of the time, and I blame it on his overuse and the god complex that some writers can’t seem to write him without. So, I don’t really recommend UtRH in a good light when talking about the Bat himself. It’s all about my boy, Jason Todd.

UtRH is just amazing at showing these two character’s motivations and how they seem to think that their ways of handling crime are the best way. But it also shows us so many aspects of how Jason’s death impacted both Jason and Bruce.

Let’s start the review!

UtRH starts with a look into the future, a fight between Batman and a mysterious man in a red helmet that seems to not be an easy opponent for the Bat and it also looks like these two have been going at it for a while but just as we arrive we see that it may be over in the Bat’s favor but in that exact moment the red helmeted man unmasks Batman! Seemingly not shocked that Bruce Wayne is the Bat the mysterious man decides that he will show his face too...but all we get to see is Bruce’s face of shock and then.... we are thrown back at what we come to believe is the real beginning of the story.

Probably you can’t tell, but to me this is an amazing start to a story, you have the Bat who is sold as an excellent fighter struggling in a fight but when it seems that he is going to win something major happens... the mysterious man unmasks a legendary hero and doesn’t make a fuss about it and then he manages to shock the Bat by showing his face (which is not shown to the reader), I just think its genius, it sets up this new guy as an incredibly good and interesting character.

So now we find ourselves thrown back 5 weeks in the past and we come in contact with a meeting with some very shady people that don’t really know who put together the whole thing and while they try to rationalize it a round of shots hits the table they are sitting around.

Here is where we see this leather-jacket-wearing dude, holding an AK-47 while posing for the Google earth cameras, telling those people that he reunited them and that he is hot shit. He is there to make a deal; the dramatic queen wants to run the underworld of Gotham and not only is he offering protection against the Black Mask but against the Bat too.

Well, needless to say, those guys aren’t necessarily buying what he is selling so that my friends takes us to an iconic moment, this dude proceeds to throw a duffel bag with the heads of these people’s lieutenants and to finish it off he just shots another round to make the message clear...I mean talk about dramatic entrances!

Please don’t worry I didn’t forget about the most important part of this whole entrance...we were just introduced to this man who means business and wants to rule Gotham’s underworld and manage its drug trade and it’s all very swell but the truly important thing is what he says next:

“You stay away from kids and school yards. NO dealing to children, got it? If you do, you are DEAD.”

That’s a powerful message and this is just me speculating but if he has to make that specification clear...it leads me to think that kids are people that he wants to protect and no matter how much money they could bring to the business he wants them out of the equation, also the price for breaking that rule is death…. So yeah, is he truly a villain or...?

Now after all of this we jump to Black Mask receiving information of a new player in the game and he doesn’t seem like he cares, to him it’s just a newbie trying to mess around on a street level so he moves on with his business of recruiting Mr. Freeze for an undisclosed job. On the other hand, we are shown Batman crying over the fact that Oracle isn’t working with him anymore and then teaming up with Nightwing (that is wearing a knee brace and probably shouldn’t be out doing extreme parkour with his furry dad but hey, what do I know?)

We see Freeze trying on some new clothes and then we are back again with Black Mask, here, for the very first time we hear the new player’s name...Red Hood.

Following Batman and Nightwing we find them intercepting a shipment that appears to have a bunch of gadgets from several villains and among them there was a bomb, it explodes (detonated by the Red Hood) and from then on, the fun begins...the Bat and Nightwing go on pursuit and we get to see what the Bat thinks about Hood. He thinks that he is very well trained, agile and unpredictable, he also has an overall sense of familiarity coming from Hood but he ends up saying that it’s nothing they haven’t seen before, what he doesn’t expect is having been led to a trap which is, Amazo, yay! (Amazo was the cargo that Mask was waiting for).

Amazo is taken down with a little bit of struggle but he eventually is thrown to Gotham harbor and we are informed in another panel by Mask that Amazo wasn’t supposed to be activated so we can safely assume that it was Hood the one who did it. Mask is pissed that the Bat broke his toy and is going to be more pissed off when he answers a call from a certain red helmeted man...

Hood informs Mask that he took one of the crates from the shipment and that it might be one of the most valuable ones, our boy stole a crate with at least one hundred pounds of kryptonite...yeah no big deal.

Here I will make a stop to tell you that we know that this Red Hood is extremely tactical, he has a plan within a plan that takes down several players, he is confident in what he is doing and is certainly not afraid to get his hands dirty. He is a worthy opponent to Black Mask, Nightwing and Batman. We are just starting to know him but he is already great and it only gets better.

As we enter chapter three of the story we see Hood asking for 50 million dollars from Black Bask for the kryptonite that he stole from Black Mask (say that again), to everyone’s surprise Mask “agrees” to give him the money easily... well, not really, Mask is going to send Freeze to kill Hood and get that (quite honestly) unnecessary amount of kryptonite back.

Hood obviously knew that he wasn’t going to get whatever money he negotiated but he also wasn’t quite ready to take on Freeze but he did his best. When Freeze is the last one standing Batman shows up and a kinda lame fight ensues...Freeze leaves and Hood says that he really doesn’t care about the kryptonite, all he wants is the “lay of the land” and then leaves.

If you are wondering where Hood went, well…he went to an abandoned funhouse to terrorize the Joker! Yes people, it’s confirmed, Hood is a good boy! Go get him Hood I am rooting for you!

IT IS CROWBAR TIME! (And this time in reverse)

 In the start of chapter four Hood is blowing up yet another truck full of weapons belonging to Mask.

Elsewhere Batman is bothering Zatanna about one of Ra’s Al Ghoul’s (sealed) Lazarus pits. Asking if the pit can raise the dead and being his natural rude self. Because he doesn’t get the information that he needs and goes to Jason Blood who tells him that if he wants to know about people who came back from the dead he might as well talk to Green Arrow but his chat with him doesn’t lead anywhere so that’s that.

Onyx is introduced to us as a vigilante accepted by the Bat (you know, because of that thing where other vigilantes can only do their thing in Gotham if the Bat lets them because he is the high king or something) and when she comes across some dealers she finds out they work for the Red Hood and given that he is an unknown player she relieves the information to B who acts like an ass because he thought she had seen Hood and that she compromised one of his informants…now here is the thing, why does B act like everyone has mind reading abilities? How on earth would she have known that he had an informant and that the Red Hood wasn’t news to him...I am sorry dude but you are a shitty person of the highest quality  

Anyway, Onyx is actually doing her work watching shady men talk about if they will or not join the Red Hood, one of them says something like “I won’t join that psycho because he decapitated some of my men” (good men, he specified) but Onyx isn’t alone, Hood makes it known by telling her that those men were selling drugs to twelve-year-old’s (remember kids are protected by Hood, you absolutely do not involve them and if you do...well, congrats, you are dead)

At this point we are in chapter six of the story and another character trait is revealed to us from Red Hood, he is meticulous in the way he works. He knows almost everyone involved in the drug trade, what they did and are doing, the relationships they hold with Mask or whoever their boss is. The information he gathers lets him know if the people will stick to his rules and can also use the information he has against them. So, he is extremely dangerous, we have to imagine that if he is that thorough with street level baddies what kind of knowledge does he have on people like Batman...well, spoiler alert, he knows everything and he will use it and has been using it since he first saw him.

 While Onyx and Hood are on their way to take down those men Batman is in Metropolis asking Superman about his death and how he managed to come back to life.

Onyx soon understands what “taking down” truly means when it comes to Hood...they manage to get out of the warehouse just for him to grab a gun and shoot everyone on sight, which doesn’t sit well with Onyx so she tells him that, to which Hood has something to say just before he stabs her:

“Welcome to earth, baby! These dead sacks of meat on the floor made their living by beating, raping and devouring. Fear isn’t the answer.”

And I want to put as much importance into this as I did to the whole “keep kids away from this business” because it’s really important in what’s to come and the way Hood thinks is the better way to battle crime in Gotham.

That sentence alone tells us what kind of people Hood takes down, he plays judge, jury and executioner, he chooses who he kills and who is worth leaving alive if their crimes aren’t the ones that he decided must be paid with death. But it goes beyond that, he brings the fear factor… we know how batman works, he relies in criminals fearing him and the fact that they will be beaten and sent to jail or Arkham (if they are mad enough).

Here is what I believe is the fundamental difference between the fear factor used by those two, on the Bat’s side, the fear is left in the people he attacks but in Hood’s side, the fear is left in those who find the bodies.

After Hood stabs Onyx he decides to stay and chat, he tells her that he stabbed her in the shoulder because he knows it hurts and because (look at this smartass) he saw that she was “favoring one side” so he deduced that she had had an injury and teases her about maybe coming back to crime fighting a bit early...if you don’t think that’s cocky enough he then makes a comment about how the angle of the knife will make it harder for her to pull it out so, there you go, the man is well trained and knows what he is doing.

After that we get another piece of information about Hood and it’s actually given to us and Onyx by Hood himself, he says “I am no one’s son”.

Hood also shows us another character trait of his...he is a little shit. And very good at it. After he stabs Onyx “choice time” comes, basically he gives her two (three) options either he takes out the blade and she runs or he pulls the blade down from her shoulder to her hip and she bleeds out.  He also says that she could maybe join him, which is revealed quite quickly to be a joke and then proceeds to take the blade out and covering the wound with a “high-end field dressing for the modern soldier. It adheres as well as closes the wound with an antibacterial adhesive agent...stops the bleeding cold”.

I wrote the whole thing word for word because I think it’s important for us to see that he saved her life, and he also didn’t let her choose he just did it, let’s think about this, Hood shows up to that meeting not expecting to see Onyx there and instead of losing his cool he just talks to her about the men,  invites her to fight (his way but she didn’t know that) they make their escape and after the men are all killed by Hood she is furious so he, rather violently, completely immobilizes her so he can tell her what’s on his mind and then he gives her choices but here is what I really think...she never had choices because she is not his target, she doesn’t fit among the people that he thinks must be put down, so stabbing her came hand in hand with saving her.

Saving her just to ask her if she will “get up, fight and stop him” because he is still a cocky bastard...but surprise! Batman showed up to the party!

Hood isn’t too shaken up, in fact he uses the opportunity to make a show of his knowledge of the Bat’s thinking and his gadgets...he flatters the fact that he didn’t even hear him land and starts explaining to Onyx how the plane works, it can be stealthy or it can destroy your eardrums, then the chase ensues, B actually makes Hood fall at some point but it really doesn’t bother him, he continues to “flatter” the Bat’s technique, training and gadgets (all to fight the “malignant scum that ravage this city” Hood says) but ultimately tells him that he also has toys (that apparently he intercepted from Kord industries).

The chase turns into a fight in a rooftop, and yes my friends, this is the fight from the beginning of the story, the “you show me your face and I show you mine” fight.

Hood wants Batman to ask himself what has he done, and this I suppose is in reference to what he has done to deserve Hood coming after him. To which the Bat offers nothing but accuses Hood of being a murderer to which he answers with “No. I’ve killed, not murdered”

That confuses me, so first I will tell you what I found about the difference between killing and murdering somebody. A human kills another when it’s without intent or an accident, on the other hand when a human murders another it’s done with intent. About intent I found the following: “A person intends a consequence when they 1) foresee that it will happen if their given series of acts or omissions continue, and 2) desire it to happen.”

I don’t really know if Winick or the editors mixed the concepts of the two or if there is more to it. I honestly cannot wrap my head around it. It really doesn’t fit with what he has been saying, like the no dealing drugs to kids because if they do they will pay with their lives.

Anyway, my confusion is not what matters here, what matters is that we have arrived to the moment in which Red Hood will reveal to Batman his identity yay!

It’s Jason! Jason Todd is back from the grave!

It takes a bit of time for Bruce to come to terms with the reality of things but Jason assures him that he is who he says he is, he even suggests that Bruce has known his identity for a while and that it has been brewing in his head since Clayface.

I know, there are some things that need to be cleared up, the UtRH story is set in issues #635 (February, 2005) to #650 (April, 2006) but in a previous story (Batman: Hush) that ran from issues #608 to #619 “Jason” or better said Clayface disguised as an adult version of Jason had a fight with Batman where some old wounds were opened, this happened in issue #618 (October, 2003).

As far as we know that Jason wasn’t real and that was that, in fact we didn’t get the real events up until Red Hood: The Lost Days, a miniseries that came out in 2010, in the last issue it’s explained to us that by the time of Batman: Hush’s events Jason was already in Gotham and he was giving Hush information to mess with the Bat, and that’s all the information I have right there.

Back again to the story, Batman wants to know how Jason came back to life and he responds that he doesn’t know and doesn’t care, but he does give blood, tissue and fingerprints to Bruce so he can do some tests in the cave to prove that it’s really him, Bruce is once again being difficult saying that it still won’t make him believe but Jason knows better and tells him so.

He also says that it doesn’t matter what he is now, what matters is what Bruce is and what Jason will become. And Jason will become the kind of man Bruce would have been had he killed the Joker.

This whole conversation is very informative; Jason tells Bruce that he knows how to help Gotham because he understands the city more than Bruce. And in order to do that he will kill the Joker and those who deserve to die. This obviously doesn’t sit well with Bruce but Jason doesn’t really care what he thinks so he creates a distraction so he can leave B alone to marinate his thoughts.

It’s here at the end of chapter seven that I am going to cut the first part of the review before too long becomes way too long, so, see you in the second part!

The second part is linked here!

[snowdice]

Folds in Paper (Chapter 2: Green Light)[Folds in Time Universe]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Janus/Patton, Remus & Roman, eventual Logan/Virgil (maybe more)

Characters:

Main: Janus, Patton, Remus

Appear: Remy, Emile, Virgil, Logan, Roman

Summary: Janus, a disillusioned senior agent working for the Time Preservation Initiative, struggles to find meaning in a world where time travel could change everything about your life’s history in less than a moment. When time distortions start popping up, threatening the timeline and the fabric of reality as he knows it, it becomes a race against the clock to fix the damage before everything unravels. And the problem with time travel… you never how long you have before the clock strikes 12 and your time is up.

With a partner who has more mysteries in his past than Janus had anticipated and an enigmatic free agent time traveler mucking about time always with a clever pun or a time appropriate pet name on his lips, Janus will need to figure out what went wrong with time, and more importantly, how to fix it.

Notes: Time travel AU, mystery, enemies to lovers, alcohol

“Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter – to-morrow we will run farther, stretch out our arms farther…” (F. Scott Fitzgerald in The Great Gastby)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1

The morning was just as torturous as Janus had expected it would be. He chewed through another pop-tart, this time bothering to actually check and see that it was a cinnamon-sugar one and drank three cups of caffeinated orange juice. Then, he waved his hand through the air and selected the first saved location on his device. He popped up directly behind his desk where he’d been standing the night morning before.

Someone, probably Remus, had shut his integrator down. He swiped a finger across the power button, and it flickered back on, scrolling through its morning start up routine.

The machine scanned through all of the data in the three main system it was connected to and sorted all information into things that concerned him, could concern him, and did not before then sorting the first two categories into order of importance. As it did, he set up his screen reader so he would hopefully not start the day with more of a migraine than he already had. It took about 3 seconds for everything to turn on and settle.

Sitting down in his desk, he dismissed the notification that Remus had finished and submitted the report from their mission the day before, before looking through the next things on his list. A mission had been scheduled for him today, and the details were in his inbox. A piece of time travel technology had been accidently dropped by an archology student in the 1890s during a trip. It was an earlier model of emergency time travel given to time travelers that would dump them back into the Registration Office in the year they originated. It wasn’t extremely dangerous, but could pose some problems, especially if someone who didn’t know what it was activated it.

Surveillance agents had tracked it down and found that it had been picked up by a local and sold. Though no one from that time had known what it was, they had identified that it was made out of a precious metal and it had been crafted into an expensive necklace. Janus and Remus were supposed to retrieve it today. It had been pinpointed that the most opportune time for the extraction was 1923 during a masquerade ball held by those who had bought the necklace. It was a fairly low stakes mission.

He wasn’t set to leave for another couple of hours, so he clicked through the rest of the important notifications and then set off to meet his missions coordinator, Rhi, in her office.

Rhi and Janus got along fairly well. She was a well put together woman who took her job incredibly seriously. It was fair as her job was to organize all information and materials from every other department and make sure the agents she was assigned to got and understood all of it. A mistake from her could lead to an agent’s death or something far worse.

This, of course, made her relationship with Remus… interesting to say the least. Janus could never place whether they were nemesis, frenemies, or mortal enemies, and he doubted he would ever know.

“Okay, but it’s the 1920s America,” Remus was already in her office arguing when Janus arrived. “There were so many gangsters! I could be a gangster. I would make a fantastic gangster! Just give me a gun, a snazzy suit with a white hat, and a buttload of alcohol. I will be running Chicago with Al Capone in five minutes.”

“Al Capone didn’t become a crime boss until 1925 and you are going to 1923,” Rhi said, sounding bored, “you aren’t going to Chicago, and as I have already stated, your cover is already decided.”

“But-”

“It is nonnegotiable, Agent Clockson,” she said firmly. Remus pouted, but seemingly accepted his fate.

“May I come in?” Janus asked.

“Please do,” Rhi said. “You have been to the 1920s before, correct?” she asked Janus.

“Yes ma’am.”

She tapped the screen on her desk in response. “In the last two years?”

“About two months ago,” he responded. She tapped something else.

“Any blacks, reds, or yellows?” she asked.

“All green.”

“Great. Do you need a refresher course on basic cultural or linguistic procedures?”

“No.”

She pushed one more thing and then swiped the check-in document over to him. He glanced at the report stating he’d had no incidents of any level the last time he visited the 1920s and had opted out of the optional refresher course, and then pressed his finger against the screen to sign it with his fingerprint.

The document returned to her side of the desk automatically. “Okay,” she said swiping another document from her left over to be in front of her. She twisted her wrist to copy it and slid copies to Janus and Remus. “Here are exact details on the time, place, and event you are going to, as well as details about your cover.” Janus scrolled through his quickly. It wasn’t as detailed as some he’d had considering this was a brief in-and-out mission, but he still took care to memorize everything on the page.

As he and Remus read through their things, Rhi got to her feet and turned to the storage compartments behind her desk.

She grabbed out two packages and when they’d both signed that they’d read and understood the paperwork, she slid them across the desk to them. “These have everything you need,” she said. “Clothes, money, and an invitation to the party you’re off to attend. You are to get changed now, have a last check in with costuming to make sure everything is in order, and then report to decontamination in 23 minutes. You’re set to leave in 38 minutes. Any questions?”

“How much-?” Remus started.

“None, agent,” Rhi said.

“But-”

“No alcohol,” Rhi said. “It is the prohibition era in the United States anyway.”

“Like there’s not going to be alcohol at the rich people party,” Remus said sullenly.

She pressed her lips together. “It is an in-and-out mission,” she said to both of them, and then turned to glare at Remus. “Do not get arrested.”

“I don’t know,” Remus said joyfully. “I think I still have room for a 1920s mug shot on my wall.”

“Behave,” she said, “or I’ll report you for the cat you smuggled in from the 1800s.”

“You’d never,” Remus said. “You enjoy the cute pictures of Diesel Fuel I send you every day too much, and you know it!”

“Just… don’t get arrested.” She turned to Janus. “Don’t let him get arrested.”

“I’ll do my best,” Janus promised, standing. “Now come on, Remus, we need to get changed.”

“You just want to see me naked,” Remus replied with a wink, but he did stand.

“If I see you naked one more time in my life Remus, my eyeballs will fall out of their sockets,” Janus said, waving to Rhi as he pulled Remus out of the door.

“Kinky.”

Janus’s eyeballs almost did fall out right then and there with how hard he rolled them.

They got changed quickly, Remus complaining and saying if he couldn’t dress like a gangster, he should at least be allowed to wear a flapper dress. Janus had long ago learned to ignore his ramblings. He did seem enthused about the included mask for the masquerade. It was a silver fox shaped mask with green accents that reminded Janus of the Egyptian God Anubis.

Janus’s own mask, on the other hand, was only designed to take up the left half of his face. It was mostly golden with a black swirled design. Attached to the side, there was a plume of golden tipped white feathers. He had to give it to the costuming department, they did have good taste.

Once they were both dressed, they were poked and prodded by one of the costumers to make sure everything was accurate, fit right, and had been put on correctly.

After that, they went to the decontamination area to have themselves and everything they were taking with them sterilized so they didn’t accidently take any pathogens to the 1920s. They also received an oral vaccination to be sure they didn’t pick up anything from the 1920s and bring it back.

Then they were ready to go. The correct time-space coordinates had already been sent to their timepieces. With a push of a button, they were off.

Want to read more? Click below!

AO3 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9