#also a bunch of people are both and all of thats probably bc both cultures are catholic

[a9saga]

started bb26 yesterday. i'm about to start episode 7. so far everything from casting, to comps, to twists is hugely improved from last season, and i have faith that at least most of those improvements will last. also i feel kind of a likeness with tucker. i know that kenney is also from boston, but it's more charming on tucker. he's funny in the kind of way that italian people from boston just are.

[risetherivermoon]

Some s1 kids/kiddads art of an au im working my mind out on! basically a typical fantasy/faerun type au but my own little twist on it :))

heres some info cards about them in this specific universe as well as some rambling:

im also probably gonna make one of these for the dads as well because this au has become some brainrot lol, i had a lot of fun designing lark and sparrows outfits because i always imagine oakvale wear being white gold and green so i kinda really leaned into with that. Nick as a tiefling is fun and silly to me teehee, as well as terry jr as a vampire. Its just a bunch of magical people and then grant lmao

i like terry and ron having a found family type of bond, and i promise ron will end up meeting samantha at some point lol, and i have a lot of notes about ron's character because of his background and everything, they aren't all supposed to fit into specific dnd archetypes or classes, but some of them like sparrow, nick, and terry have actual dnd classes lol, im really just fucking around with the loose concept of faerun, tbh i kinda see nick as both a bard and a fighter type of character? yk?

the necklaces with the single green bead that both lark and sparrow wear actually hold some cultural meaning for oakvale that im still working on, but i came up with the concept a while back so we'll see if i decide to talk about it

their stories do end up intertwining but this is the basic background info about their stories, and there will be more revealed when i get into making the s1 dads info cards as well.

terry and the twins probably took the longest to color and draw because of how many details are on both of them, especially terry's parasol bc i drew that without looking up a reference so i do hope it actually looks like an umbrella...nick was a bit hard to draw just because his face is partially covered and grant was actually fairly easy and i love how his design came out since ive been attempting to figure out a s1/teen design for him for a bit, obviously this isn't it because he's in fantasy attire but it's close enough that i have the gist of the idea..i made him look so pale lol, i imagine carol is pretty pasty and darryl isn't too tan either so...white boy is very white indeed

anywayys thats some of my funky lil au lol

(here are the dads!)

[fagcrisis]

about the wrestling as the scourge of evil thing i'm leftcom and i go work with a bunch of different anarchist and ml organisations and yeah definitely like people 100% think it's opiate of the masses type shit which is insane because they also don't seem to feel the same way about other spectacle-sports. like i would argue pro wrestling is not even close to being unique in its landscape whether it's interpreted as a fixed variation on combat sport culture or as a variation on mass theatre but for some reason a lot of anarchists and mls (and probably other left people) think it's uniquely evil. while at the same time being like football fans or something. it's a weird critique to have i feel like. like i would actually be more swayed if it were to argue about the function of entertainment-as-such (including sports, including high-profile art) in society but i don't see how pro wrestling is worse than other things. it serves the function of the gladiator but. so do all spectator sports and i would argue all performance mediums in general. it also feels unfamiliar with wrestling beyond its reputation usually like as its own field and the way it relates to its influences and audience. also mark fisher is very inconsistent in quality of criticism sometimes i'm like wow so true mark and sometimes it's like. i disliked it so it's counterrevolutionary

okay first of all ur so right about mark fisher. like some of his stuff genuinely so good and the other half is like middle aged man yells at a cloud

anyway, yes i 100% have encountered the exact same attitudes towards wrestling and like, i genuinely agree with them but theyre true for both spectator sports and entertainment media as a whole! im not going to argue that wrestling is uniquely anticapitalist or whatever, its certainly rotten from the inside as an industry, but ive had people argue with me that in an anarchist society it wouldnt exist, which is patently insane

like, first of all i detest utopianism and i think while keeping in mind the ideal society we want to strive for can be important for an ideology its really stupid to be like well post capitalism this wont be a thing therefore it is evil. anyway like i feel like anarchists (i cant speak on marxist leninists bc all the ones i know are over 50 and mainly like wrestling) single out wrestling as like the gladiator stand-in for modern society even though thats true for hockey and football and everything else, even arguably theatre, because they dont really know much about it besides the sort of popular conception

anyway it ultimately doesnt really matter im just mad everyone gets to enjoy their marvel movies and hungarian football and whatnot but my specific opiate of the masses is deemed too problematic for discussion. like man if you get to play tears of the kingdom i get to set mark david as my phone background

[ignorancesblissart]

I MADE MORTY OCS/SONAS. I CAVED. IM (not) SORRY.

anyway. ok so . im gonna dump a bunch of info abt these guys here under the cut if youre interested but yeah. these are my two boys. muppet morty n morty sanchez-smith (or morty S-S)

MUPPET MORTY:

hes about like 5′0, smaller than most mortys. 

hes also a younger morty, prolly like just turned 13. 

muppet mortys family is kinda unstable but theyre all still pretty nice to each other. his family is healthier and more loving compared to other smith families. 

hes really sweet and doesnt like violence, he kinda wears his heart on his sleeve (thats why hes got a stitched heart on his shirt lol) and doesnt attempt to hide how hes feeling.

hes less depressed/anxious than the typical morty, prolly cos his rick is actually Kind and tries to put limits on their adventures and make sure muppet is safe. they still go on crazy adventures though.

his earth is generally safer actually, but not completely. people still do crimes n heinous shit. swearing still exists. 

he IS full of stuffing. everyone on muppet earth is.

MORTY SANCHEZ-SMITH:

hes around 5′4, taller than most mortys

hes also an older morty, just turned 16

his last name is ‘sanchez-smith’ bc in his reality beth insisted on keeping her last name, and the kids would be hyphenated since her rick + diane were both very into sharing latine culture and thats how latine ppl do it.

morty ss also takes after his grandparents a lot more, getting ricks skin tone and getting brown-ish eyes from his grandma

PROUDLY BISEXUAL, found out very early and became very loudly bi (hence the bi flag on his shirt lol)

a bit of an Emo, a Punk. started wearing a black long sleeve under his shirt when he was like 13 and never stopped. got ear piercings for his 15th birthday and planning on getting a few more.

a LOT more cynical and apathetic on the surface than a typical morty, but deep down has a very big heart. tries to hide it.

gradually stopped stuttering and now only stutters when hes anxious/scared. its gotta be really bad if hes stuttering.

morty ss is a bit of a umm. Sona. hes kind of basically Me but Morty. but yea hehe i hope you guys like them !! i love em a lot. ill probably make more stuff abt them

[snaaaaaaakee]

OC Meme Compilation (part 1) (part 2)

like i said i got tagged in a bunch of these, mostly by @socksual-innuendos but @worthlesssix also tagged me in one and i might have been tagged in other ones idk these are just going around right now

I split them between Kerrian and Nikolai, so here’s Kerrian’s half! I also gave both of them the companion one bc that one was really fun to answer, and Kerrian is objectively the worst companion possible

i think almost everyone i know of has been tagged in these so far, so im gonna tag specifically @sas-afras and @curriersix then in general if you’ve got a fallout OC and want to answer these do it!! pick whichever ones you want im gonna try to make it visible which ones are seperate ive realized this way of posting them all at once is. weird

COMPANION MEME

Name: Kerrian Tartakovsky

I think we should travel together: “Awesome, let's get in trouble.”

Use Melee: "That's a joke, right?"

Use Ranged: “Wanna see me hit a bloatfly at 100 yards?”

Open Inventory: “Do I look like I've got room for your shit?” (his inventory is full of junk and electronics. he gets overencumbered easily. if you take any of his stuff he gets mad like when you take boone's hat)

Stay Close: “Just don't jump into anything stupid, alright? ...Or make any weird smells."

Keep Distance: “Alright, but you'll miss me soon enough.”

Stealth: (Karen's voice) "Sneaky sneaky."

Back Up: “Quit shoving, tough guy.”

Be Passive: “No complaints here.”

Be Aggressive: “You haven't got a better plan than that?”

Use Stimpack: “Man, what's in that stuff?”

Wait Here: “Ugh, for how long?”

Follow Me: “Oh thank God, I was getting so bored.”

Send her to the Lucky 38: “Yeah, see you at the Fucky 38, then.”

Send him Home: “Alright, you change your mind you know where I'm at.” (can be found in some workshop in freeside or something)

Aggression: aggressive/not aggressive/very aggressive/frenzied

Confidence: cowardly/cautious/average/brave/foolhardy

Assistance: helps nobody/helps allies/helps friends and allies

Companion perk: Mostly Pacifist (Bonus chance to cripple enemies)

Weapons: Dart gun, Varmint Rifle with scope

Karma: Good

Nine Layered Dip for OCs (okay sure)

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

Name: Kerrian Tartakovsky

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Style/Color: Orange, shoulder length and a mess

Height: 5'4"

Clothing Style: bits and pieces he's just sort of picked up wandering around, but if he weren't living in a post apocalyptic wasteland he'd actually like having more fashionable/feminine clothes

Best Physical Feature: He does actually have very pretty eyes

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Fears: Spiders, not being able to find his dad/his dad being dead, not seeing any of his family again

Guilty Pleasure: i dont know if hes capable of shame or guilt for anything he enjoys but he does like cute/girly stuff in a pseudo-50's culture so he probably doesn't like showing that

Biggest Pet Peeve: Being told what to do, or people trying to say they can predict his actions or control him.

Ambition for the Future: i dont know if he has any idea what hes gonna do after he finds his dad. His vague idea is "robots"

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

First Thoughts Waking Up: “alskfjslkdfjsllsdf Oh God I'm Awake"

What They Think About the Most: Nerd tech shit, random garbage, animals, whether anyone's looking at him and whether or not he wants to be looked at

What They Think About Before Bed: Anything to distract him from everything long enough to fall asleep (he usually has to listen to the radio or holotapes or something)

What They Think Their Best Quality Is: His charisma- if there's anything he can't do he can always just get someone else to do it for him

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: Depends on the people

To be Loved or Respected: Loved

Beauty or Brains: Brains

Dogs or Cats: Cats

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Lie: dont believe a word he says please he lies to people for fun

Believe in Yourself: Sometimes not enough, sometimes too much, but never a reasonable amount

Believe in Love: Yes

Want Someone: idk if this means someone in particular but most likely tbh

LAYER SIX: EVER?

Been on Stage: If he was he'd get kicked off immediately

Done Drugs: Karen gives him Med-X when she shouldnt so he did that, but now he refuses to have any in his inventory ever because of her. He also tried mentats once, they help him focus but he doesn't like the side effects.

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: Probably tried when he was a kid but physically could not restrain his personality from being 200% at all times

LAYER SEVEN: AGE

DOB: fuck i dont know i ruined my fallout timeline

How Old Will You Be: “i wanna get to my early 20's and then not get older but also not die, i dont think thats gonna happen but it sure is what i want"

Age You Lost Your Virginity: N/A

Does Age Matter: yes

LAYER EIGHT: IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: "Fun and Nice and Weird"

Best Eye Color: All

Best Hair Color: All (if you try and ask him to pick one he gets caught up thinking about why all of them are so nice and refuses to be able to pick)

Best thing to do with a Partner: Causing trouble

LAYER NINE: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: “My family, and ED-E, and geckos, and snack cakes,"

I feel: “Everything, all the time, way too much"

I hide: “Myself, literally and figuratively. See what I did, it's cute"

I miss: "Everything before dad got stuck outside of the vault"

I wish: “Everything could just be fixed"

[chaostwofold]

1-41 on the asks? Also gn

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

Morning glories!! not only are they already my favorite flower, theyre extremely toxic and mean unconditional love! i have a tendency to fall for the wrong people and not realize until after,, BUT thats only half and half!! some people i loved unconditionally and contine to love them and others set me back in the recovery process,,

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

Begonias id assume? not only are hanahaki flowers supposed to represent your feelings, they should also represent the person. begonias are known for misfortune, dark/unpleasant thoughts, and caution to new situations. on the flip side, its harmonious communications, understanding, and gratitude.

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

hm. well, what about the urchin whos actually a prince? someone who originates from grand places, a great misfortune turns them into something undesirable and possibly bitter, and then when theyre brought back to the light of stability they provide for those who are in the same situation as he was

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit

im long range magic tactics and healing always bc im too afraid of conflict :pensive: but the closest thing would probably be something flexible but strong, in black and the more sensitive areas like the neck and thighs covered more carefully (read: shadowhunter gear)

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

change on an emotional and mental plane. they would sacrifice those who refuse to change for the better. i determine what is better, and if they choose the wrong person to sacrifice they would pay depending on why they attempted to sacrifice someone who didnt deserve it.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

“there is a difference between wisdom and intelligence... a person may have one without the other.” is an all time favorite from my favorite book The Soulforge by Margret Weis!!!!!!!

“plant your trees and watch them grow.” OUGH

 “There is a thin semantic line separating the weird and the beautiful. and that line is covered in jellyfish.” NIGHTVALE

“Ive been good sir / so very very good for what? / and ive given you / every single thing ive got / its feeling strange man / this whole arrangement / is gonna end with / me totally deranged” From Disobedient, from su:tm!!! it slaps man

“ What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? / What are you wondering? What do you know? / Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?” Ah. billie eilish ily

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Scythe! the weapon of fate and peace,, it is used to reap the souls of those deemed to die and its used for harvesting crops!! the end of all thngs, its a graceful and symbolical weapon.

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

Vaniila, star anise, and clary sage

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

leather bound books!!

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

a cyclone, probably. something threatening on the outside but extremely calm on the inside.

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

amaryllis, which is splendid beauty and worth beyond beauty

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

cinnamon in tea!!!

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

apt in the city

14. curtains of beads or lace?

bead curtains!!! retro AND can be like “hoohoo welcome to my brewery pick your literal poison im a witch”

15. vocal or instrumental music?

yall know i could never pick,, music is too much of an intimate thing too be taken lightly (whch is one of the reasons i have a burning hatred for jokey nursery rhymes like baby shark)

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

SOBS okay so. ough it depends man. i rlly like the idea of like. ponchos and shawls n stuff,,, id prolly go for a witch in the woods ngl (the prince REPRESENTS me the best but. witch of the dark woods is my aesthetic) so prolly like a heavy green shawl over a black shirt and jeans and combat boots or smth,,, i WOULD have a flower crown of poisonous flowers, yes

Changeling or shapeshifter definitely!! to be able to constantly change form in super mecore

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

fruit preserves

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

you all knew it was gonna happen ( its a mountain laurel!! poisonous. of course)

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

my hair is WAY too short for that but i used to do it when i had longer hair and its a definite yay

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

an evening in the forest with elves or a morning in the garden with fae!! i cant decide man,,, if it had been a night in a victorian castle w vamps i wouldve been tied w that too but caves are a dwarven thing

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

hm. maybe like. a true self thing? where im forced to say what i mean, i cant say sorry for things im not sorry for, i have to say when things make me uncomfy, i just become less timid (the witch who cursed me got pissed off bc i said sorry too much and didnt answer questions properly)

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

talking with sylphs prolly??? i dunno man ive always loved sylphs ngl

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

def mint

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

what childhood lmao (honestly?? i loved reading the grim fairytales just over and over)

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

uhhh one time i was accused of witchcraft bc i was “guessing” peoples fav colours at a christian summer camp and our supervisors asked me to stop bc it was freaking them out bc im not christian (i had them close their eyes, think of their colour, and i would see it bc id close my eyes) OH also one time luke spoiled some pl stuff bc he was thinking abt the spoiler too loudly

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

oh healing def!! i already know a bunch of native poisonous plants so itll b fine

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

only two chances for everyone, and then i cut them off entirely

cringe culture is dead. the only cringy people are assholes

hurt luke youre dead

29. vials or mason jars?

no. no. you CANNOT make me pick. its illegal

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

uh! moss green, its a onepiece thats baggy and tied with a golden decorative rope at the waist and tightened at the ankles!! its loose at the sleeves and the shoulders are showing whereas the neck is turtled!! there are designs showing black mambas and lilies of the valley (poisonous...). the mask is black and covers my right eye, with subtle smooth scales on it.

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

BOTH are p mean uh. i said sylphs earlier so ig ill go mermaids??? plus im afraid of heights

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

as the royal magician/wizard/witch/alchemist/magic jester? calling the royal family out on their bullshit

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

they would be black owls wings!!! (if you meant pixies, like tinkerbell, you shouldve said pixies fam :pensive:)

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

deaths cloak or a truth charm to get people to tell me, you guessed it, the truth

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

a song about grim ends ad new beginnings.

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

royalty! so i can fuck shit up from the inside

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

field of flowers or marketplace!! seeing the things people create and natural beauty and solitude are both wonderful

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

a modest one with a very dark palette, with my eyes painted a gleaming golden.

39. what skill are you famous for?

i talk rlly fast

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

im not sure,, 

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

FAIRYLIGHTSFAIRYLIGHTSFAIRYLIGHTS

[saturnsovereign]

all the asks 😮

okay 😆

1. how long have you known you liked girls? at the very very least freshmen year. i didn’t really think about it in 7th to 8th grade and god forbid catholic elementary schools

2. talk about the girl who made you realise you liked girls i dont really have one?? it was like a gradual realization (after the realization that it was ok to be not-straight despite what religion says)

3. are you in a relationship at the moment? yup! gladly taken by the most beautiful girl in the world

4. do you have a crush at the moment? crush on my gf yeah

5. describe your crush! she’s my best friend and she’s perfect

6. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? uhh idk really? my track record says feminine tho XD

7. do you look/dress more masculine, feminine, or androgynous? androgynous maybe? idk i dress comfy

8. what’s your gaydar like? eh, not too bad

9. tall girls or short girls? tall girls

10. intimidating girls or kind girls? (my gf was the first one to me at first but she’s kind and sof)

11. hugs or kisses? both pls

12. do you have an ideal ‘type’? what would they be like? makes me laugh? im comfy around them and she likes me as me

13. what’s your favourite personality trait of yours? resourcefulness? idk i like how i can improvise on a bunch of stuff XD

14. what’s your favourite personality trait for a girl to have? comf

15. what’s the best thing about liking girls? i dont feel like i have to follow a heteronormative lifestyle bc of my culture. also i dont have to deal with an actual dick. 

16. do you have any friends who are wlw? yeah a lot of my women friends are wlw XDD

17. have you ever been to pride? if so, what was your first pride like? yeah my other best friend and i went to pride last year. it was cool but there were a bunch of straight people just there to party :/ also i got sunburnt bc we had been walking around a lot and it was weirdly hot for sf. 

18. do you like the lesbian flag? yeah its cool XD but like i seeing the other ones people make too. 

19. what was your first kiss with a girl like? slumber party. her bday. my now gf was in the room actually XD. i didn’t even know if i was kissing correctly. i prefer to think about the first kiss between me and my gf bc that one was mind blowing and helllaaaa gay. 

20. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? katie mcgrath. 

21. what’s your favourite lgbt+ movie? love simon since thats probably the first one that i’ve seen

22. who’s your favourite openly wlw celebrity? uhhh i cant think of any rn?

23. do you wear makeup? no

24. who was the first person you came out to (if you have)? my ex, my gf, and two other girls 😅

25. has anyone ever come out to you? yeah

26. have you found a community of lgbt+ people? my nerd group is actually lgbt and like a lot of the guard when i was in it

27. do you have any older lgbt+ people you look up to? not really?

28. do you identify with butch/femme labels? can’t (but if i could it would probably be butch)

29. who’s your favourite fictional wlw? i just watched s4 lucifer so i’d say maze rn XD

30. what experiences are you looking forward to having in the future (kissing a girl, going to pride, etc)? going to pride with my gf hopefully this summer, marrying my gf, all that stuff ;)

[clexacon]

Here’s a full transcript of the UnConventional episodes featuring  Natasha Negovanlis and Elise Bauman. 

Huge thank you to Rebecca Soileau for doing this transcription for ClexaCon!

Opening Song

“Give me someone who loves like me, up there on the tv or movie, anything would do. Cause I’ve learned surviving isn’t living, we deserve way more than a brief romance on an episode or two, we deserve something unconventional”

Hey there Clexacon-ers! Welcome to another episode of “Un-CON-ventional”, the ClexaCon podcast! I am your host as always, Dana Piccoli and we are less than 2 months out from ClexaCon 2018! Can you even handle it? Before we head into this really really fabulous episode which I’m really excited to share with you, I do have a couple things I just want to tell you. On March 1st, which is coming up very very soon, tickets go on sale for “Breakfasts with Clexacon Guest”. And that is something you do not want to miss if you can score a ticket to. You’re going to be able to possibly be able to meet Katherine Barrell, Dominique Provost-Chalkley, Tamara Duarte, Emily Andras, Anna Silk, Natasha Negovanlis and Elise Bauman. What an incredible opportunity to dine and dish with some of your favorite, favorite stars! So keep that on your calendar, March 1st, tickets go on sale and they are going to go fast. Also on sale, speaking of good stuff, ClexaCon has added some really really cool new merch to there store! They’ve got slick, black on black and blue on blue “ClexaCon 18” shirts, they also have new hats and all sorts of cool stuff so check out there store, just click on the little store button all the way on right of their ClexaCon website and there you go and you’ll be looking ah-mazing!

I don’t want to keep these guests from you any longer because I know that your super amped about it so, we are going straight into my interviews with Natasha and Elise! Here we go!

I am very very happy to introduce my guest for this episode of “Un-CON-ventional” because they are 2 of my favorite people in the world, you know them, you love them, Natasha Negovanlis and Elise Bauman...LADIES! Thank you for being here!

Elise: I’m giving us a round of applause

Natasha: Thanks for having us

Dana: I mean come on, it was a given right? I’m gonna throw a monkey wrench into this whole thing, so dear listeners, I am not going to ask these actresses, these multi talented creative types, anything about their flagship Carmilla. No i am not.

Elise: Whaaat?!

Natasha: Whatt?!

Dana: Because I don’t know if you know this but these guys are going to be doing a “Hollstein” panel at ClexaCon so there’ll be lots and lots of Carmilla questions there. So this, this is my version of the actors studio and i'm just going to ask them all sorts of weird ass questions, and hopefully some thought provoking questions, so you can get to know them a little better as people. How do you feel about that lades?

Natasha: I feel fantastic about it

Elise: Very excited

*laughter*

Dana: Alright! So my first question: this is for both of you...

Natasha: Ok

Dana: What would you tell your 15 year old self now, if you could go back in time?

Natasha: You know what, I was thinking about this recently, actually, haha, I was thinking about it bc I was taking a painting class with my mom and I was thinking about how i'm more a  creative person than someone who can follow instructions and I think if I could go back in time I would maybe tell my 15 year old self that she doesn't have to go to university. Um, here in Canada, university and college are different things, so what we call university, I guess yall call college but college and university are different here so usually when your very academic and a straight A student, it’s expected that you go to university to get a degree. But I think that um yea, I think I would tell my 15 year old that it would be ok to like go to an acting school or go do a diploma program instead. That being said, I don't have any regrets. But I think I would tell myself and also tell young people now that it's ok if you learn differently from others. Yea, I don’t know something that just popped into my head recently.

Elise: I am into it. And I would probably tell young Elise that she could just skip over the vegan stage that she was in for a brief while.

*laughter*

Elise: There was like a year and ½ that I just went without dairy and you know like why? Why..

Dana: You would tell young Elise to eat that ice cream girl, eat it!

Elise: Cheese is a great invention. I understand that humans are like probably incapable of digesting it very well and like it probably really bad for environment and like cheese pizza is a great thing so that’s probably the sage wisdom I would gift young Bauman.

Dana: *laughing* I would expect nothing less from you Elise. So eat cheese.

Elise: Eat the dairy, don’t forgo the yogurt. The whole course of my life could’ve been very different. I’m kidding. It was great, it was a great time. Nothing against vegans, vegans are great people! Gonna get a lot of backlash for this.

Dana: Now’s she’s backtracking. *laughing* So speaking of food, if you and Natasha were attending a dinner party, what do you think the other one would bring?

Natasha: oohh

Elise: I would say Natasha would maybe, I mean this is a little on the nose, but maybe like a greek salad.

*laughing*

Elise: But like a REAL greek salad! Like real, authentic feta cheese and all that good stuff. Either that or she would go straight to like a meat platter. Be like alot of cured...

Dana: Just like lamb on a stick or something?

Elise: No it would be, like it would be really nice. She would have hand selected a bunch of really nice meats and pickles and cheeses and she’d thrown like, a good platter.

Dana: So she’d be like the queen of charcuterie?

Elise: Charcuterie! Thats what its called. Yea yea yea, she would do that. It would be on a really nice wooden board or something.

Natasha: Ooohhh that’s very accurate. I think I would do something like that or at least some ingredients for someone else’s charcuterie board, for sure. Some like, preserves or something. Um yea i don't think I’d bring a salad because no one likes the girl who brings the salad

*laughing*

Natasha: Also it would be a little be cheap of me too, you know? I think, to let it impress. Also I have a secret, culturally i'm not greek, but I do make a mean greek salad, my family's macedonia.

Dana: Macedonia!

Natasha: So the food is actually terrible, it's like boiled potatoes and overcooked flavorless meat.

Elise: Nobody wants to be the girl with salad, but especially nobody wants to be the girl with the boiled potatoes.

“laughing”

Natasha: Yea I brought you some boiled potatoes, hahaha. I think that Elise would bring like some hummus, some appetizers for before dinner. Like some really good hummus, maybe some kale chips, or she would just bring her own separate meal that she would eat out of her own tupperware while everyone else is eating. Which like I secretly do admire because I wish that I had Elise’s discipline. No or she’d surprised everyone and bring a really nice dessert actually, like a good pie.

Elise: Ooohhh yea! I baked a pumpkin pie recently, it was a good time.

Natasha: Yea

Elise: Yea, alright I like that, I like that. I think we should throw a dinner party. I think that's really where this is going.

All: yea!

Elise: Make a mental note, make sure Elise doesn't bring kale chips

Dana:  Alright Natasha, what's the biggest misconception about you?

Natasha: I think the biggest misconception is that i'm extremely vain and/or high maintenance. And I was thinking about this, I don’t know if its my bone structure or what but I was thinking about this recently and its interesting that a lot of people who take care of their appearance, or are really good at self care are perceived as high maintenance because my being good at taking care of myself means that i dont need alot from other people! Know what im sayin?

Elise: Ha. “know what im sayin.”

Natasha: I think that would be one. I’m not so fancy. I think that's the biggest misconception that i’m fancier-

Elise: She's into fancy cured meats but nothing else.

Natasha: ...that im fancier than i am, but i mean,

Dana: But she’s not like using them as facial hydration or like...

Elise: Yea.

Natasha: That's what i use greek salad for.

*laughter*

Dana: It’s astringent, it works.

Dana: What about you Elise, what is the biggest misconception about you?

Elise: Mmmm, I think probably somewhere around, I think people think im only ever a positive person, which may be a bit of a far stretch sometimes (she says laughing). I think I have a lot more aggression than people realize,

Dana: “Although she is little, she is fierce” is what you’re saying?

Elise: Yea something like that.

Dana: Do you have a punching bag, something you can work with?

Elise: I don't have a punching bag, I just signed up for soccer again! I signed up for a soccer team.

Natasha: That's awesome

Elise: Yeah I used to play soccer from maybe like 10 until high school and I loved it and it was definitely my sport and then I, well i just stopped playing after high school because there weren't many opportunities to play. And I have terrible knees, but that's not stopping me so i'm going to go do another stint at soccer. Just for fun. I think I need that outlet. I think I really need to get back to my tomboy roots. I've been feeling that way a lot lately. I’m like “why am I trying so hard to be this other thing? I don't know.” So I’m going to go back on the field.

Dana: I love how this shit got really deep right there.

*laughter*

Dana: See there was a method to my madness guys! Ok so, what is the question that you’ve always wanted an answer to, but have yet to get one?

Elise: What happens after we die? Like thats been a huge one since I was a kid.

Dana: I think that's pretty fair.

Elise: I thinks that's really what is the meaning, why am I here, what the point, what’s the purpose?

*laughing*

Elise: You know, things like that, generally what I think about on a Wednesday afternoon.

*laughing*

Elise: Natasha?

Natasha: I was just going to say, how one changes their fitted sheet when they are by themselves?

Elise: Or.. How one folds a fitted sheet!? That is something  would love an answer to.

Natasha: Yes. Im sure there are YouTube tutorials for this, but putting a fitted sheet on a bed when you're one person is so tricky. Because as soon as you tuck one side in, the other side lifts up..or like putting your duvet cover on.

Elise: Oh yea

Dana: Oh the worst! And then you get trapped in the duvet cover when your by yourself

Natasha: Yea!

Dana: Then you just hope someone comes to the door, like UPS.

Elise: That one i figured out, you have to like lie the whole thing down on your floor and then take the two corners and then like pull it over and it's a logs and anyway...

Natasha: The germaphobe in me does not like that. I’d think of the dog and it would be like, ugh on my floor. Although he does sleep in my bed technically, so what's the difference?

Elise: Oh yea a dog.

Dana: I’d introduce you to my dog right now but she's currently snoring and farting, simultaneously

*laughing*

Natasha: Amazing!

Dana: Ok ,what are you guys nostalgic about?

Elise: Pogs

Dana: Pogs? Like the little paper things?

Elise: You can get medal ones too or plastic ones

Dana: Oh haha pardon me!

Elise: You were really fancy if you got a metal pog, that’s when you know you made it.

Natasha: Oh yea

Dana: But what’s the purpose of pogs? Like what did pogs do?

Natasha: It was a game!

Elise: Um, elevated, like your self worth as a human. *Laughter* Like you know, feeling really blue today, but let me just look at my pog collection and know I feel alot better about my outlook

Dana: Did you throw them? I don’t, I remember pogs but i didn’t play with them. But what did you do with them? Did you just throw the little pieces of cardboard, excuse me, metal?

Elise: I think you just hoarded them and like compared your pogs to other kids.

Natasha: Nooo it was a game, it was like a serious game guys, there were tournaments!

Dana: Is this, were pogs more popular in Canada? I’m starting to think they were.

Elise: That and Tamagotchis, Tamagotchis were the it thing for a while.

Natasha: Yea

Elise: But I killed all my pets so I wasn’t very good at that one. I would set my alarm and wake up at 3 am and be like “I gotta water this thing again?” and it’d be dead by 7 am the next day. Yeaa

*laughter*

Dana:  What about you Natasha? Are you nostalgic about pogs are is there something else that really gets your nostalgia button?

Natasha: Oohh I don’t know, I mean, gosh, I get really nostalgic over children's choral music.

*laughter*

Natasha: I was a choir nerd so I can’t hear children’s choirs without getting very emotional. And then I can’t listen to it. Or like really obscure like choir folk music. Because I used to go, I used to compete in competitions with my choir and like travel across North America and yea. There’s this one cd we have of, it was like, my choir sang with like ten other choirs from all across North America and it was this massive church and we were all, it wasn’t, it just happened to be in a church, they weren't religious choirs, but we were like all along the outside of the aisles and in the balconies and I just remember it was a really cool experience having hundred and hundreds of voices under 12 coming together. So yea, whenever I hear kids choral music, especially around the holiday times if there's something playing. I don't love the holiday season but if there's something with a  kids choir I get really nostalgic cause my best childhood memories were surrounded by choir and singing so yea.

Dana: That's really sweet. Alright super serious question here guys, have you ever seen a ghost?

Elise: Yes I have.

Natasha: Whoa what!

Dana: What? Tell us who was it, what ghost was it, where was it? I want details, I want everything.

Elise: I’ve seen a couple ghosts. I was a kid and a lady ghost just flew over my bed one day, well not flew, it was just kind of like there, I don’t know. And then another time I was in a church and I saw a man in like a uniform or something walk by and then I was like what the, so I went into room but there were no doors leading out of that room so I was like “probably a ghost, probably a ghost”.

Dana: Did your sightings of ghosts stop as you got older?

Elise: Yes, yea. I only saw the 2 when I was a kid. Maybe they weren't real, maybe they were figments of my imagination.

Dana: Or you were really intuitive as a kid and you were open to it. I think a lot of kids see things that adults turn their minds off to.

Elise: Totally. I totally think that are other parallel realms going on and we can kind of pop in and out of them occasionally.

Dana: What about you Natasha? Have you ever seen a ghost? A spirit? Poltergeist?

Natasha: No i’ve never seen one, I think i’ve shut myself off to that stuff so. But a medium did once tell me that i had a posse of ghosts around me, she did not use the word posse (laughter) but there were many spirits around me that were not related to me and that I didn’t know and I was like “oh that’s disturbing”

*laughter*

Natasha: Particularly there's this little girl ghost that follows me around and I was like ok, not the most terrifying of the ghosts.

Dana: The good thing is you’re never alone.

*laughter*

Dana: Why aren't they helping you with your f***ing fitted sheet though is my question?

*laughter*

Natasha: Yea, like who’s refilling the ice cube tray, come on ghost posse!

Natasha: But weirdly enough both my mom and my brother saw the same thing in the house I used to live im. They used to see this dark shadow that was darker than a shadow move across my basement wall in the same spot and they hadn't told each other until years later because my brother was a really little kid when he saw it and my mom saw it but she didn't really believe in that stuff. Then like years later my brother had mentioned it and it was really strange that they both saw the same thing without and had described the exact same thing without talking to each other about it. So that was kind of bizarre.

“Scary Music”

Dana: Next question.

Natasha: I like these questions.

Elise: I know. I’m into this I like this. This is fun.

Dana: : Let's talk about failure.

*laugher*

Natasha: Oh great! How much time do we have?

Dana: Says one of the most successful actresses working today. So what is a time that you failed spectacularly but learned a lot?

Elise:  Oh god like every day.

Natasha:  Yea, I was gonna say, every day

Elise:  Im really, this is very interesting. I have like an allergic aversion to failure. I really don't like for people to see me failing in any capacity. Which leads me to put up a front of “I've got it all together, everything's fine, dont worry about a thing”. Which is not always the case because I’m a human being and I don’t think I know any human beings who have it all together. But I was thinking about this the other day. Because the emotion I remember the strongest of being a kid is embarrassment. When I think about times I got embarrassed as a kid, I will still get a flush in my cheeks. For whatever reason, that is still such a pungent thing I can connect to being a kid and I think a driving force has been me trying to avoid that feeling. Which has led me to make safe choices a lot and do things, which really goes against my nature. By nature I’m a person who is a risk taker, who is a person who puts themselves on the line so i'm trying, it's really interesting that your bringing that up, because that’s something i’ve been thinking about a lot the past couple weeks is fearlessness and failure and wanting to really re-evaluate my relationships to those words.

Natasha: Yea, so well said. I think that I also fail on a daily basis but learn from it every time. You know it's interesting because I was also a very studious young person who always wanted to succeed and do really well at things, and I remember when you were talking about nostalgia and we were talking about choirs, I have this memory of me in this voice competition between, I took a year off between highschool and university and I was in this really serious voice competition and I had to sing like 8 different pieces all by memory and four different languages from particular years. It was the most intense thing I had ever done, this huge national competition. And in the middle of one my songs I forgot the words and I forgot the words for the first time ever in my life in the middle of this really intense competition and I stopped. And I remember I wanted to just fall and run out of the room but I just looked over the  shoulder and I looked up and I started again and then I did the rest of my piece after that and then of course immediately threw up when I left the room. I was so humiliated than I had ever been, I think that’s my most embarrassing moment that I blocked out for a long time and i’ve never been so so humiliated. But I had to stick around for hours because all these professores were adjudicating it, and I ended up coming in 1st place and I remember being so shocked and the reason why is because of how I was able to recover and it was really amazing. It was a really great lesson just when your talking about failure and what you learn from it. It was a really great lesson in that its ok to make mistakes and its ok to not be perfect and it’s really about how you dealt with it. And I remember how the professors were like “Yes, you forgot the words, but you were able to keep going, even though you wanted to cry, you were able to get through the rest of your pieces flawlessly and you composed yourself so well”. So I think that was a really good lesson in that you don't always have to thrive for perfection all the time.

Elise: Totally

Natasha: Yeah, have little universal reminders of that everyday.

Elise: Even like setting your alarm and sleeping in. I failed, i’ve already failed at the getting up at the time i said i was going to get up. Like there are moments of little failures throughout the day yea risk. That's another thing, i have to risk the failure too.

Dana: Can i share my failure with you?

Both: Yes please!

Dana: So you may know that I used to work at this website and I loved it and I was very devoted and after I did this event for this little show called Carmilla, I came home and I got a phone call from my big boss that my position was going to be eliminated. After I had worked, you know, really really hard to establish myself in this position, and I was so humiliated by it that I didn’t leave my room for 2 days.  All I could think was “i’m nothing without this job” like I cease to exist, who Dana Piccoli is ceases to exist now that this job is over. I was so worried what people would think of me, would they think that I sucked, would they think that I wasn’t good at what I was doing and I was so nervous about facing up to it. But what I think I learned through all that is that who I am is more than any job and what I do and what I’m trying to do, what I’m trying to give is bigger than all of that. And I think it really made me a stronger person, it made me a stronger writer, it made me a much more intuitive, empathic person to because I failed spectacularly in front of the internet, and the lesbian and queer internet who I had become very intimately connected with. So, that humiliation, that failure, led to me being who I am today and it's something im proud of and I’m happy with. So thats my big failure that I learned from.

Elise: Your sense of worth and external things, those things can be blown down like a house of cards in an instant and so if I haven’t developed the things that are in me then when those things do inevitably fall down, such as aging, like if I place so much value in my looks then im you know all of a sudden those by nature start to lessen. Um, then yea like I think that's just so on point what you said about how I though i didn’t have any value outside of this external thing. That's something i'm really trying to work on right now too. Like whoa  whoa, what have I placed my own value in? And then what is it actually outside of those things, you know? Yea that’s so good.

Dana: Alright, let's go into something slightly lighter than that. What's the best thing you've ever bought yourself with your own hard earned cash? Or loonies, loonies I should say!

And it doesn't have to be a big thing. But it's a thing that your like I bought this with my own damn money and hard work.

Elise: I think for me, maybe not a thing necessarily, but coming to LA for this winter, that's where I am right now, that's been a big thing for me, is taking these few months off of working to be here and really focus on what I want to be focusing on. Also I went through a brief stint of buying some really awesome New Balance sneakers and i’ve got a few pairs now and i’m just really loving my collection of sneakers.

Natasha: Oh man. I think one of the biggests misconceptions about our type of internet fame or how we got “famous” is our followers equal dollar signs

*laughter*

Dana: We know that Natasha.

Natasha: Well I was going to say, im in so much student debt because I put myself through 3 years of school that I still live paycheck to paycheck. That I would say that my ability to pay my rent every month and not worry about paying rent anymore is a really wonderful accomplishment and I also recently closed off one of my student lines of credit sooo...

Elise: Nice!

Dana: Congratulations!

Natasha: Simple, I’m like oh my credit score has gone up and improved greatly and I was able to buy myself eye glasses so that I could see again, and I might go to the dentist this week.

Dana: It’s the little things!

Natasha: Yes! So I think it’s humble adulting. And being able to adopt my doggie and take care of him responsibly. I think that's like the best thing.

Elise: Yea they can be expensive.

Natasha: Yea, they can. I mean he’s not so fancy but he’s better dressed than I am.

Dana: Mine’s costing me a fortune!

Dana: Ok so final question before I get to always final question. Where is your happy place?

Natasha: One of my happy places, because I really can’t choose just one, it depends on where i’m at in my life and what I need in that moment, you know, my happy place is most of the time on set, when i’m doing my job and doing a job that I love and i’m on set, thats like the best feeling in the world. But outside of work, I’d say, I still work at a farmers market for no real reason and I do that every 2 weeks or so or once a month with one of my best friends that I used to work in his restaurant when I was a starving artist and yea. I think just seeing the same faces i've been seeing for the last 5 years getting my hands dirty, and selling like wholesome and organic food, it's just really nice. It really is one of my happy places and I call it my therapy because for a moment I can go and like just be girl selling pie and eating delicious food and catching up on life with my friends and it’s so nice to have something that forces me to wake up in the morning and be accountable and show up. I don’t know. It really is just one of my happiest places. There's always street performers and musicians that play every week and there's always that great music like someone playing accordion and it such a Toronto thing too but it’s just so cute. There’s all these families around that are all mixed race and speaking different languages and there’s just a really nice peaceful vibe to that particular market that i enjoy. So yea, that's one of them.

Elise: I’m just a girl, standing in front of a pie, asking it to lover her.

*laughter*

Natasha: I do that every time I’m there

Elise: Ah man thats too funny. Where is my happy place? Um I went to Joshua Tree this Christmas and fell in love with it there, its so beautiful. I went rock climbing with my brother. Like any time im outdoors in nature that's when I really feel like most connected to my higher self and the planet and the universe and all that good stuff. So yea but I mean, I generally live in giant garbage ridden disgusting cities, like NY and Toronto and LA. I don’t really get that alot. So those moments when I am outdoors, like I went snowshoeing up on these mountains with my friends in BC over Christmas and yea those are def my happy places.

Dana: You guys are such beautiful souls.

Elise: Someone just recently, not told me, because I knew they existed but baths man! Baths are so underrated. I haven't had a bath since I was kid probably….Natasha’s face right now is like ugh ugh. But baths are just so relaxing! I had one the other night and I was like this is really great. You guys are so not on board, just trust me! Put some epsom salt, light a couple of candles, you might surprise yourself.

Natasha: No. I’ve tried to take baths all the time and i've just accepted that i don't enjoy them. Everytime i do it im like why am I forcing myself to do this? Because i'm going to be like 30 in a few years and society tells us that women loves baths. Like, no.

Dana: Not only do we love baths, we love eating yogurt in baths.

Natasha: Yea

Dana: All I  can think about is getting epsom salts up my who-ha, that’s not relaxing to me.

Natasha: No, sitting in my own filth and having to stare at my naked body and like accept my body issues is absolutely not! And also being confined to a small space and being wet, im not about like water, im like no, no.

*laughter*

Dana: So to hell with your bath Elise, your happy place.

Elise: Well thanks for ruining my happy place.

Dana: We just made it a sad place.

Natasha: Hey to each their own, no judgment. I get the concept of the bath

Dana: You guys are heading to Vegas, soon, as am I. As are the many people who are listening to this. Was last year your first time in Vegas?

Natasha: It was.

Elise: It was indeed.

Dana: So I always ask everyone at the end of the podcast, what their favorite things about Vegas are and what would they recommend? I know your guys were really busy and you didn’t have a lot of downtime, but did you get to do anything where you were like, this is kind of crazy fun!?

Natasha: We had a really nice time in the artist alley. We went to some cool vintage shops and went to a really nice cafe, that I think was really more our speed. Elise and I are really similar in that we take our jobs pretty seriously and want to be in high spirits, so I feel like all the bartenders and like restaurant folks hated us because we were like “We’ll just have water and a salad.”

*laughter*

Natasha: And went in at like 10 every night but I did see a Cirque du Soleil show that was incredible! I saw “Love” and i’m so glad that i did it. I was like when in rome, im going to go see a show even though it was past my bedtime and...

Elise: I was so mad I didn’t go to that.

Natasha: Yea, like the word spectacle, that's what it was, it was spectacular. Cirque du Soleil is always amazing but the fact that it’s in a theater that's built specifically for the show, everything was seamless and flawless, from the lighting design to like even the technical cues, like someone in a booth cue-ing them up and they’re seamless. The dancing was amazing. I saw “Love” so it’s all Beatles music, which I love so much, so yea it was really fantastic. I hope I get to see another show this year.

Elise: I’ll be down, lets go, lets do it.

Natasha: The performances were just like really really amazing. I also just love the desert. I love dry climate and I love desert life but I’m not as into debauchery as my. I don't know what it is man, I don't know what people think im like.

Dana: I’ve spent numerous evening and experiences with you and I would never describe you as debaucherous.

*laugher*

Natasha: No, i know i know! I think I had a brief moment in time like 7-6 years ago and then I was like cool, im good

*laughter*

Dana: So what about you Elise, besides the slot machines?

Elise: Artist alley was pretty rad, there's all these crazy old vintage stores just chalk full of weird Vegas antiques.

Natasha: Yeah.

Elise: So that was pretty cool. The strip itself is not really my jam, but I don’t know, I mean I’m not really there to see, im more there to meet people and hang out and yea. Im really looking forward to it, Vegas was such a good time last year.

Natasha: Yea, I mean I enjoyed the convention itself so much, I think its my most favorite one I’ve done so.

Dana: Oh yay!

Natasha: I’m really looking forward to it again this year, more than the city. It could be anywhere and I would enjoy it.

Dana: Do you hear that ClexaCon? Next year we could be in Iowa!

Elise: Let’s not push things Dana

*laughter*

Dana: No offense Iowa! I’ve been to you, you’re lovely. Well thank you to the two of you, you are always so thoughtful and interesting and funny and i’ve probably interviewed you guys a gazillion times but it's always a new and interesting experience!

Elise: Thank you for having us, this was fun!

Natasha: Yeah you always have the best questions!

Elise: You really do, we sometimes have the same questions all the time.

Dana: I know you do so you going to see the 3 of us, well the 2 of them and i'll be there too at the Hollstein panel at ClexaCon. Not sure what day it is yet but they're going to be there. And where can our listeners find you on social media if they aren't already following you, which im sure they are

Elise: @baumanelise and that is now both the same on Instagram and Twitter because I was a baby when I made my twitter and it involved numbers and it really didn't need too so it's all matching now.

Natasha: You can find me on Instagram and Twitter @natvanlis, my first name and then my last name mushed together! That’s it!

*laughter*

Dana: Oh well, you guys have a wonderful next couple of what... we have less than 60 days until ClexaCon?

Natasha: Really? Time flies.

Elise: I gotta start packing.

Dana: It does. I know right? I have all my outfits planned out. I have a spreadsheet with my outfits on it.

Natasha: That’s impressive! Can you come over and do that for me please?

Elise: Organizational queen-ness right there!  That is awesome.

Natasha: That's amazing. Elise and I usually have a crisis the night before amd

call each other or meet up in our hotel rooms and up wearing like running shoes and a t-shirt

Dana: Please! You guys looked amazing last year.

Elise: Looking back on what I've worn, it really does look like there's not been a lot of planning in there.

Dana: You goobers. Every time I've seen you you look amazing.

I’m going pink, so the next time you see me i'll have dark pink, ombre hair so crossing my finger that that works out

Natasha: oooohhh! I hope it works out better than my bangs.

*laughter*

That is going to do it for this episode of “unCONventional”. Thank you so much for listening!

Are really liking “unCONventional”? Then do a us favor and leave a review, tell some friends, tweet about it, we’d really really appreciate it. You can find ClexaCon on Twitter, Facebook and tumblr @clexacon. You can find me, Dana Piccoli on Twitter @dandpiccoli. And our theme music, our wonderful theme music is by Stephanie Berlanga and you can find her at stephanieberlangamusic.com. We are so close you guys, we are so so close, we are going to have one more episode  before the show and planning to do a live taping like I mentioned last week so looking forward very much to that. Until the next time we meet, here's Dana Piccoli swearing fealty to you.

[bibbleboo]

Could we get some headcanons/more background on Abbey and Doyle’s kids? 🥺👉👈 I love the premise of this AU

YEEEEE (im just gonna ramble a bunch about the backstory i have so far but ill put it in bullets so its easier to follow lol i apologize for it being long as fuck-)

OKAY SO,,, first of all,,, doyle and abbey timeline,,,, [i am looking respectfully]

in this au, they get back together and have a sort of ‘lovers pretending to be enemies’ chaotic on again/off again hookup thing off to the side just between the two of them thru like Most of the final season, they try to keep it a secret (especially doyle who doubts the saturdays would be hAPPY if he was seeing her again) but in the end, saturdays ofc find out, probably are unsure about it at first, but she gains enough of their trust to be there for the big finale battle in the weird world mansion.

when shit goes down and argost becomes the vessel for the two opposing kurs (regular kur, and the anti kur from zak monday) and they like. explode his matter or w/e, i imagine instead of kur just completely disappearing, the ‘anti kur’ gets shot back to its universe, while original kur gets forced into a new vessel in this universe... the closest of which happens to be the unborn child abbeys unknowingly carrying. basically, what if the two kurs just LOOKED like they evaporated but actually did what happens when you try to like tape two same sides of a magnets together and they YEETED-

So thats how we have Parker, their firstborn daughter! and this... also implies ‘Parker Monday’ exists which. 8^) i havent thought about yet so forgive me on that but hoo, 

they dont know parker is kur, they got no idea and rly just assume kur is gone for good. but after they find out abbeys pregnant (which is a huge emotional trip for both of them in its own right) they do eventually sort of agree they dont want their kid exposed to that whole world of mystery. like, ik its a vital thing to the whole family, and ik these two people were probably voted least likely to ‘settle down’ in high school, but i cant imagine they didnt escape the kur/zak situation without a LOT of trauma, so while the saturdays stay in the cryptozoology field, doyle and abbey slowly pull away from the mystery and mercenary stuff, and also instead of going for big dollar lifestyle settle with ‘independently wealthy’ parenting.

also, neither of them really . grasp the concept that theyve even started a family, and are ‘together’, and that this is REAL, until around when she gets pregnant with their second daughter, Kendall. and then theyre like. oh nooo wait are we actually like boyfriend and girlfriend EWW-

when kendall is born parker is 3, and the next like 10+ years are pretty smooth sailing. as far as what the kids know/see, they probably know the cryptids when theyre little but. (tw animal death sORRY TO BE DARK I JUST??????) idk,, how long komodo dragons live/how old komodo already is and i definitely dont know Anything about giant prehistoric birds and am not even sure if science knows that lifespan, so. im not sure how long they could really be in each others lives??? i almost imagine parker would have memories of them that she assumes she remembers wrong, like “oh yeah they used to have a lizard and a bird... my imaginative little kid brain thought they were a komodo dragon and a dinosaur”, and as for fisk im still working on it but i . actually kind of imagine he might have a much longer lifespan (since lemurians are like ancient or w/e? and also if hes by dna like a gorilla cat or w/e gorillas at least live long af) and also feel like once he got older and settled down a bit he might live somewhere in the woods, maybe even his old tree? and the saturdays see him ALL the time obviously, but hey zaks gotta go to college eventually, a gorilla cats gotta eat bugs in forest, we all have to grow up and leave the nest sometime,

so idk the last time parker has actually seen fisk and she might assume he was an imaginary friend or smth but, 1. if i do write a fic they absolutely have to meet again, 2. overall the vibe is they know the saturdays are cryptozoologists, like, the same way josh gates does destination truth, seeking answers and studying, they dont really. know that theyre REAL. to them its like, a hypothetical science. (this is also part of why they dont realize parker is kur, she isnt around cryptids and therefore whenever her powers would actually show up they wouldnt be recognized) anyways parker isnt embarrassed or put off by it but just thinks its a little wacky, meanwhile kendall is obsessed with the world of mystery/paranormal/cryptic lol

speaking of the girls personalities;;;

parker is like. not really normie/preppy, even if she seems it at first glance, shes nice and has a good head on her shoulders but also is a teenage girl (inherently unhinged) and shes THEIR teenage girl (+5 feral) so despite her success and charm shes also very witty/crass when she wants to be, and deep down shes closer to the kind of person that would on pure inexplicable instinct put something random in your mouth when you’re yawning so you bite down on it afterwards. or like. that video of the girl singing in the bathroom while her friends curl their hair and she grabs the curler to use as a microphone before realizing its burning hot??? shes. the voice of reason, but the voice is usually shrieking in fear, making a cursed joke, or half the time whatever shes saying is actually smart. she kinda wants to go to college and travel, but struggles with indecisiveness and anxiety, so she has no idea where to go, what to major in, etc. and is again kinda just livin thru the typical teen life in that regard

kendall on the other hand is like. weird kid culture, the kind of kid that believes they are secretly a new supernatural creature each year (mermaid phase, werewolf phase, alien phase, etc), probably completely accidentally starts cults or witch covens at school (didnt realize teaching peers how to become ‘blood brothers’ and ‘make potions’ from puddles and stolen school supplies would be taken so seriously by parents) , very into emo/scene/punk/alt culture but not rly in an overtly dark/edgy way, more of a having fun and expressing self way. she wants answers for everything, really loves mysteries and being open minded, and definitely a rebel/adventurer at heart, even if she gets naive or in over her head sometimes.

the girls get along well! parker is not dismissive of kendall she just. isnt really into the same stuff/is more freaked out by it most of the time, but she would tag along on certain adventures, especially if it was to keep her safe. and kendall definitely directs gentle mockery towards parker a lot but does see her as a good role model and guiding figure, their bond is really strong!

other details !

doyle and abbey prob decide to say fuck it and get married after kendall is born, they probably have a few rough patches but nothing is more important to them than the kids now and in the end they understand each other better than anyone else so . canon tension idk her! family ftw! power couple! they intimidate the teacher during parent teacher conferences together hand in shady little hand !

their parenting style is exactly what one would imagine, 70% fun and sass and controlled chaos where theyre the bigger children than their children, 15% ‘this is how you hack the government and dual wield swords-- i was not supposed to teach you that im sorry’, and 15% actual guidance / emotional depth / etc. flaws might be overcoming their own immaturity for the first few years, and then being lowkey overly protective (while claiming they arent, but just bc you semi jokingly tell parker she should join the football team doesnt mean you dont actually hide 60% of ur life from her and check that her bedroom windows are locked every night and have 24 people listed in her school emergency contacts and used to cut up her food till she was 7 and-)

so abouT THE BABY BOY (Phoenix), 1. his middle name is leonidas bc im gay and i love emotional turmoil babes , 2. fully unironically the idea behind such a late pregnancy is abbey would be mid fourties when hes born right. so like. [has two kids] ‘ok birth control time’ [when theyre teens many years later] ‘ok im old enough to stop taking this’ [the hyperfertility curse that plagues many women rears its ugly head with one last hoo-rah]

and finALLY a very quick elevator pitch of what id write an actual fic to focus on;;; kendall sneaks into the attic to look for old shit bc they BOTH know their parents have been hiding stuff over the years, she finds things like a cryptopedia (now offline), the claw, maybe even a piece of the kur stone, and ropes parker into the long haul of figuring out what all this stuff is. and ofc the second they ever find the naga relic and parker comes face to face with it, [rest in rip] time for mom and dad to find out and all this kur shit to start ALL over again-

[foolgobi65]

Characterization meme: Amy, Jodhaa, and Avantika!

i tamy’s done! 

avantika: 1. that whole child soldier thing lol. there is only one goal and it is devasena’s liberation etc etc 2. this means that really everything about her personality has been honed towards her goal so any personal likes or dislikes or traits must be really strong to survive the indoctrination. i do think that, more than her fellow soldiers, she actually believes in the Cause and wants to save devasena for herself. if avantika wasn’t forced into it i think she would have chosen it anyway, and thats important to me especially when she is allowed to step away from her duties and ask herself why shes doing this3. i see her native personality as a combination of devasena and kattapa, or what i can extrapolate from kattapa outside of his status as a slave. i dont think she would be as hot headed as devasena, i think she’d be more calculating. i see her as a kind of glacier, where she takes her time to think of all angles but once shes decided shes unstoppable. kattapa always seems to be very level headed to me as an actual person. i think she and baahu and kattapa are all a little more grounded (probably because for better or worse theyve got some stable sense of self... or lack thereof with kattapa yuck) while devasena and shivu are all over the place bc they’re struggling for self definition and terrified someone else will force them into this role they arent meant for.4. i see her as someone who values non transactional kindness, which is why she globs on to shivu in my au so quickly. theres no reason for him to help her but he does and he seems to like her without expecting anything in return. this also somehow fits in with her liking pretty things. the sense of her valuing all these things that she sees as fragile and beautiful and so liable to being broken or exploited, and her wanting to protect them. 5. she could pull of a buzzcut6. she sees herself as expendable, and also hates mahishmati until she figures out that the people arent so bad. self value and mahishmati related nuance (sparked by their own internal revolutionary movement bc she shouldnt sympathize with the people who want to exterminte her) are all arc moments for her. 

Jodhaa:1. the husband thing, where she cant think of him by his actual name. i also see her switching between how she perceives the man her husband, the man Emperor of Hindustan and her husband the Emperor. 2. dissatisfaction with the way she was raised. its important for the compromise to be a two way street for me, and one where together they have an equitable relationship based on love trust and mutual admiration for one another’s skills. i feel like she has to see the flaws inherent in the way she was raised. (the bartering, the poison before loss of honor)3. shes kind, intelligent, proud. both of them are looking for unconditional love, which they havent really experienced. all of their prior relationships were v transactional and based on what they did for the other party imo. depending on what point the fic is set in i think the Romance aspect is important in terms of how she interacts with everyone bc once shes got the assurance of love she can be so much more confident. 4. she actually wants to be a productive ruler who does things rather than frivolous. she could have spent all her time in the harem, but she wants love and respect, she wants to have a proper place in her new home, and eventually she wants to be Empress because she thinks she can do a good job at it. 5. she probably learns how to sing qawwalis and jalal just cries like a baby. they figure out some syncretic balance and talk for far too long into the night about religion and culture and history and how the rajputs were high on opium every battle. jalal probably has a favorite mirabai song, and picks up rajasthani. 6. oh! at some point she ends up reading his correspondence for him. (akbar is theorized to have been dyslexic so this isnt really a thing where she can teach him to read in her spare time.) the og akbar is said to have a fantastic memory so maybe he recites a bunch of stories for her amusement.  

[sramister]

Yeeeeeeeeeeee so like. I gotta a pretty small group of people I chill with. and like theyre all dudes. and theyre all so FUCKIN DUMB sometimes. Like im sorry but dude... why are boys so fuckin dumb lmao. fuckin they all always gotta be so manly its a n n o y i n g. Jokingly called one gay because he was eating nuts, dude he started going o f f "I get more pussy than any of you in the fucking chat" (Probably cause im straight and the other dude is a virgin bc religion? also boy you havent been laid in months fuck outta here) "I would fucking kill any gay guy that started hitting on me" (Dont worry bud you're not that attractive. & also youre the reason people hate straights lmfao what the actual fuck you aint gotta be so violent) it was w i l d. So fragile. I can't deal with it its so funny. and if I call them out on it their like "no im very confident in my sexuality." ya oke bud. s u r e. Literally never once have I gotten angry when people thought I was lesbian? Legit just gotta be like "oh haha nah sorry, u cute tho." AND OMFG THIS IS MY FAVORITE. theyre all younger than me by a year, but they all try to act older and dad-like. they thing theyre so wise, always sending stupid ass motivational quotes that stay at home mom Karen would share on fb with a picture of minions. I told them their advice was dumb and meaningless and they got so mad. legit I said "Youre copy and pasting proverbs and mark twain quotes into the chat and they dont mean anything" so they tried to be like "god youre so negative. wtf" an im just like "ye sure bud. but what if, I just straight up know shit aint always magic and rainbows bc ive been raise in shitty situations. like sorry I didnt get to be raised by two parents who both make six figures and can give me everything ive ever wanted asap." THEY GOT MAD ASF. "Youre only a year older than us. stop acting like you know everything youre not so wise yourself." like ye son I know. thats why I dont ask people my age for legit advice. bc we're all fucking dumb. dont know s h i t. and then they were like yea sure okay whatever. N ya know, theyre too manly. they cant be wrong. so thats how shit ends. "yea sure whatever" later that day I made another joke about one of them being a hick bc thats our joke and he got mad and so I sent "Yall so easy to instigate wtf I aint even gotta try with yall." dude tries to analyze me and fuckin fails. "I think you try and instigate us to keep us from attacking you and focusing on your problems." so i sent "ya sure. you can think that but youd be wrong lmao" (Cause 1. I know my problems and I actually work to fix my shit, so I have few issues atm. 2. they dont let me talk when we're in person. straight up they can ask me something like "what happened to your mom" and Ill start to answer, and they cut me off.) OKAY AND THEN EVEN LATER THAT NIGHT SHIT STARTED OVER ME BUYING A RICE COOKER. DUDE SAID ONLY ASIANS LIKE RICE AND IM LIKE YA OKAY SURE LETS FORGET ABOUT ALL THE OTHER CULTURES THAT LIKE RICE TOO. WE LEGIT WERE EATIN SPANISH RICE THE DAY BEFORE LMAO. So like dude sent some shit like "I only like american shit" and I go "You like very little bc not a lot of american lmao." and somehow that made him go straight to beer. So for 15 minutes we argued about beer. He didn't understand that beer is not american. he kept saying "budweiser is american beer." Like ye ur right, but that doesnt make all of beer American. "We have our own brewing methods, so its american." "okay but like. that doesnt make beer american? it just means weve found another way to make it?" "all beer would taste the same if americans didnt make new things" MY DUDE ITS CALLED A RECIPE LMAO. HE COULDNT UNDERSTAND. THAT FUCKIN JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE OUR OWN METHODS AND RECIPES DOESNT MEAN BEER IS AMERICAN. YEA WE GOT AMERICAN BEER. BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE BEER AMERICAN. BEER HAS BEEN ALONG WELL BEFORE AMERICA. DUDE WAS KILLING ME. and omg I need to make a sep post about the arguement about what is and isnt american even though the shits legit written down lmao. that was i n t e n s e. Home boy left the group chat. sent me a bunch of bs "insults". oh god it was f u n n y a f. stay tuned

[elcisa-blog]

hello hello yall, it’s your gal ronnie with a second muse!! this is my honey eloisa and i have so many ideas for her and i’m so excited to bring her to life since i’ve been dying to play her properly for so long, so PLease feel free to come plot w/ us ok ? OK ! anyway, her full bio can be found here if you feel so inclined, but it’s a bit long, so i’ll have a couple points under the cut summarizing it. also under the cut are some wanted connections ! that’s pretty much it for now, k byE

that’s not EMILY RATAJKOWSKI walking around?? nah, but ELOISA GOMOLKA gets that all the time. SHE’S actually from TORQUAY, ENGLAND, though they live in LA JOLLA now.  you’ve probably heard that 23 year old SERVER of CALIFORNIA PIZZA KITCHEN being referred to as the ZEALOT of this place. you know, i always see them EXPLORING AND TRAVELING or blasting A LITTLE DEATH BY THE NEIGHBOURHOOD on their lunch break..whatever.

alright so my baby was born and raised in torquay, england to a pretty religious, polish family. her father is polish and her mother is english, but their lifestyle and culture at home was very much polish based

also her actual birth name is katarzyna eloisa gomolka, but growing up in england, many people had a hard time pronouncing her first name so her friends & classmates and all that often called her by her middle name instead -- eloisa. so it eventually stuck and she legally changed around her first & middle names. ..  . 

this girl loves loves loves learning languages and studying other cultures and lifestyles , like in school , she was always that girl that took as many foreign language classes as she could. she knows the basics to a bunch of different languages but she’s fluent in english, polish, french, and spanish. 

also shes WILD ok . . . like her own weird brand of wild. she’s so Unexpected .. . its strange. but i love her sm. she’s loud, opinionated, stubborn, unpredictable, SUPER adventurous, you name it. she’s either laughing her ass off with childish excitement or spewing fire From her mouth, knowing NO boundaries . . there’s no in between like . . . shes so random, all over the place and all in your face most of the time im sorry . . . & when she loves u she clingy

anyway she also used to play the violin and horseback ride a lot growing up. her grandpa from her moms side taught her how to ride horses and she loved going to his farm in the english countryside to ride & hear his wise stories and all that. he was like her hero.

however, one day, right before eloisa was about to start her last year of high school  . . . long story short . . . there was an accident and grandpa passed away *cries* .  . . el took his death super hard since they were so close . . which caused her to get less enthusiastic about going to college and she just lost all interest at caring at all tbh, becoming more of a troublemaker at school, so her grades dropped her last year and so did all her aspirations for her future

after high school, instead of enrolling in postsecondary, she just wanted to get away from it all so she decided to trust in her adventurous side and partake in a work abroad program where she would be backpacking across south america, teaching english and helping build up communities. she did that until she was twenty-one. it was a Wild ride

in the midst of the program, while in colombia, she got involved w/ some sketchy dude who was in the drugs and car stealing business  . . . she loved the thrill & she thought she was so in love BUt he was super gross and toxic and ended up betraying her, stealing her money, and leaving her on the side of the road one night on one of his heists. aNYWAY it sucked

she finished the program and then decided to work for the work abroad program’s headquarters, which are situated in california. . . so thats how she got to san diego

eventually her position there terminated but she decided to stay in cali bc its very much her type of vibe SO now shes working at fashion valley & thats where yall come in 

SOME WANTED CONNECTIONS 

OPPOSITES ATTRACT -- cheesy name but i think it’d be cool for her to have a pal who’s kind of the complete or near opposite of her but they kind of work ? ? like honestly this girl can TALK and ramble on for so long about random shit, so i think it’d be an interesting dynamic for her to have someone who just lets her Go Off and they just like to listen to her talk and she just likes having someone to listen to her . . . inspo is from this pic right HERE

EAT THIS --  while in south america, el kind of developed a huge respect and love for cuisine and cooking so now shes kind of obsessed with searching up random, exotic recipes and trying them out. sometimes her cooking backfires and is not the greatest but shes so determined to get things right and just loves Doing it so much that she doesnt care. . . so maybe she can have like a taste testing buddy or someone who likes to cook w her or something idk ? ? shfskd omg HC: she works as a server at ca pizza kitchen but i s2g she prob always tries to sneak in the kitchen and help cook But since shes so all over the place, theyre always like “ EL GTFO OF HeRE !!!!!” 

MOTHER HEN / PAPA BEAR -- this girl needs someone to keep her in line some of the time okay. she doesnt have any family here in cali so she’d love to have someone who takes care of her and makes sure she doesnt go too far ..  like someone she looks up to in a sister/brother/guardian figure type of way ? ? 

ZOOLOGY -- eloisa doesnt have any pets .. .  she can hardly take care of herself like what u think imma let this girl have a dog ? ? NO she can have a pet ROCK ( she does ) . . . but she loves animals so she’d love hAving a pal where she can just come by and play w their pets or smthg like she’ll be the best play mate ever  .. . i just wouldnt trust her to take care of ur animal for a week or smthg lmao

ADVENTURE TIME -- if u ever just want to do something crazy or try something new. . . literally just hit up eloisa . . . so i’d love for her to have friends who just text her up like i’m Not feeling good take me somewhere. . . and SHE WILL . . .or even if they’re not sad and just want to do something exciting . .. hit her up

OOPS :( -- ok So el can be a bit clumsy and random so i think a cool connection with someone would be like maybe one day eloisa broke something of theirs or fucked up their car or dyed their hair wrong or something stupid like that . . . basically eloisa fucked up . . . and ever since then, that person doesnt really trust her anymore and is kind of annoyed with her presence in general . . . BUT eloisa feels so BAD and guilty about it so now she basically tries to do everything in her power to make it up to the other person but they just keep not having it yknow ? ? 

ORANGE CRUSH -- ok ur typical crush plot bc theyre so fluffy and cute. . . but i think maybe a plot where the crush doesnt even have to be super romantic or sexual yknow ? ? like i can definitely see eloisa just being so interested in everything the other person does and just loving being around them and loving everything they do . . . so obsessed w their comportments . . . but it can be in such a fluffy, platonic way like That feeling when u see a rly cute puppy or baby penguin . . . eloisa just wants to hug ur muse and love them But not even sexually yknow ? ? 

TAKE ME WITH YOU -- ok i love this plot sm . . . maybe like a friendship where they both want to see the world together ? ? eloisa is really big on travelling so id love for her to have a friend where they’ve been slowly putting together their dream trip where they see the world together. and their friendship is so heavily based on them sending each other places around the world where they want to go and putting together bucketlists and itineraries for if they ever end up saving money and travelling together ? ? so fun

SCIENCE PROJECT -- there’s not much that scares el and she doesnt get pushed away so easily  . ..  but i think an interesting dynamic could be if there actually was someone who kind of freaks her out yknow?? a relationship where the person actually kind of intimidates her and theres just something about the person that makes eloisa question everything .. . kind of like a science project. shes always studying them carefully, unsure of how to react to what they say . . . they’re just bizarre to her and she wants to know more

POKE ! -- basically someone she loves to annoy and pick on , but not in a hateful way

TEACH ME -- maybe someone who is teaching eloisa a new skill or language or how to do something that they’re good at because eloisa would love that so much .. . she loves trying new things.. . .like honestly anything  ..  . even if she keeps failing

TINDER DATE -- ok so in my head, i feel like eloisa would be that type of person to troll people on tinder and play around with them ..  so maybe your muse got caught up in her trap once and she trolled them on tinder lmao ? ? ? i think thatd be so funny and she just loves laughing about it all the time . .

I DO . . . WAIT, NO, I DON’T ! -- ok So this is inspired by that one episode in friends where rachel and ross get married drunk in vegas once . . . so Like literally that lmao. like that is SO something that would happen to el. like maybe one time, they found themselves in vegas together, they got super drunk, and legit got married that same night super quick ? ? ? and obviously theyre divorced now but i think that’d be a funny dynamic and lil treasure of the past to have in a friendship/relationship

SOME TYPICAL ONES THAT I CANT GET ENOUGH OF -- exes, flings, hook ups, went on a few dates in the past, best friends ( someone to braid her hair and take bubble baths w her <3 ), enemies ( maybe someone who doesnt agree w how she lives her life or her whole vibe bc she can be a bit much sometimes lmao ), etc.

or literally anything else lol

[gaybaconprincess]

I found an old Doc with a Marching Band AU so take it

Jericho / Joseph Wilson (Flute)

‘That one gay friend who has a better fashion sense than me’

Don’t pronounce his last name as ‘willis’ like the principal or he will f you up

And by that he means he’ll get his scary brass boyfriend to f you up

Probably the sassiest person in Band

He is an angry human espresso and if you look at Kyd Wykkyd for too long he’ll break your leg

Very protective of his batnerd

Kole is also a flute n they are very good buds

Vows to one day burn the school’s band uniforms so they have to buy new ones

Calls everyone ‘fam’

If it’s possible to be that one controversial archetype he will be it

He is also the school’s biggest male feminist

Bumblebee is the biggest female feminist

Also he likes penciling in weed symbols (despite the fact he has never touched a drug in his life) all over the school campus

Mainly only joined Band because the Wilson bunch were sitting at a family dinner once and somebody (he doesn’t even remember anymore like maybe ROse?? Maybe Father????) said that the only instrument he could play was his twangy guitar and ofc he took that as a cHALLENGE

Raven / Raven Roth (Clarinet)

Very dark humour

Only real friend is Jericho bc they like to complain about Grayson together

Also Jericho is the only person who laughs at her jokes

Has more power over people than she lets on

Dating the head cheerleader helps too (angel)

Pretty chill

Not v good at physical fighting but just her all around dry personality will intimidate you

The woodwind section is filled with very violent human gnomes it seems

she has a tumblr indeed but trust me yOU DONT WANT IT

its filled with actual witch spells and v v gory things 

Joined Band for the extra credit, stayed for the time away from home

Her home consists of her usually absent mother and emotionally abusive father (my way of inserting Trigon in here somewhere) and Joey is really the only person that knows and she can just vent to

They’ve had well over a few crying sessions

 SeeMore / Seymour Johnson (Saxophone)

Joined band bc he’s a broke idiot in need of a scholarship

Joined saxophone because mEMES

Plays ‘we are number one’ every f-ing time Kyd so much as looks at him

bf(f)’s with the Herald

Totally thirsty for some brass trumpet boy but totally not the Herald oh no

(it’s so the Herald)

Has hit himself in the face with his sax thirteen too many times

Wears the nerdiest glasses possible but no one can say shit bc he’s the best marcher they’ve got really

Chillest of the chill you will ever meet

Cries @ disney movies

Probably watches conspiracy theory videos in his free time

Is slowly attempting to bring tumblr humor into the real world

also afraid of chickens. look its a really long story k.

Joined Band to prove to his parents that nO HE IS NOT DOING DRUGS AFTER SCHOOL HE IS ACTUALLY ATTEMPTiNG to MAKE YOU PROUD

 The Herald / Malcolm Duncan (Trumpet)

Best friends w/ Jericho even tho Jericho regrets it

*Jericho walks into the Band Hall*

‘aND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA’ *trumpet noises*

He and Seymour meme together

Is just obnoxious in general

Pulls candy and other food items out of nowhere at the worst times

Just wants people to hang out with after school. Hot Spot’s no fun and Jericho’s family is insane.

 BumbleBee / Karen Beecher (French Horn)

Is just way too tired for this

Mom friend

Doesn’t have time to deal with everyone’s shit

Joey can relate

‘malcolm duncan i dare you to blow that trumpet in my ear oNE MORE TIME’

Is everyone’s big sister but mainly Mal’s

Makeup game is always on point

Wants to kick Seymour and Mal in the throat everyday bc jUST KISS YOUR SEXUAL TENSION IS RUINING THE REHEARSAL

 Kyd Wykkyd / Elliot Knight (Trombone)

Toll pencil is dating smol espresso

Looks mean and scary but just wants hugs and colored pencils

‘Deal hugs not drugs’

Makes too many puns

Literally every other sentence has some hidden pun in it

Loves picking Joey up and carrying him around

Gives people really terrible nicknames

Biggest weab of them all

‘I sexually identify as Terezi Pyrope’

Don’t even say the word homestuck/undertale around him he’ll either start crying or laughing maniacally

‘What do you mEAN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT RWBY IS’

Has memorized all of Light Yagami’s lines on Death Note

Quotes Steven Universe (mainly Pearl) on a daily basis

k like,,,,you think,,,you tHINK he’s the smart friend.

oH NO BUDDY ARE YOU WRONG

if you’ve ever seen any Roosterteeth video ever

He is Gavin Free.

The embodiment of ‘wot if...our legs...didn’t know they were lEGS???’

Joey just kinda shushes him and pretends to know what he’s talking about

Billy Numerous / William Strayer (Euphonium)

Mammoth’s ultimate wingman

‘God bless murica’

Mispronounces words on purpose to piss off Kyd and Raven

Hates his pointy marching shoes

Hides tennis balls in the saxophones to Seymour’s dismay

Got hit with a trombone once and then had to pay for it to be fixed

Totally not kyd’s

Likes to make fun of Joey’s height which is WHY he got hit with a trombone

Roots for BBQ places every time the Band stops to eat on a trip

‘Aight but...does Wykkyd is gay??’

Mammoth / Baran Flinders (Tuba)

Is the most intimidating person you will ever meet and he kNOWS IT he GLOATS IN THAT FACT

‘gEEZ YOU GUYS SHUT UP I DONT HAVE A THING FOR STARFIRE THATS DISGUSTinG’

‘We were just asking why she wasn’t at rehearsal today’

Is also a vry broke idiot but somewhat enjoys band

The aMOUNT of times he has been stopped by football coaches and borderline bribed to be on the team

Is the one who shamelessly sprints the whole way to the cafeteria everyday

‘Foods before dudes, sorry’

He and Billy often have eating competitions

Jericho lives in fear every time he’s not tardy for class

Also looks mean but will cRUSH YOu....with a bear hug

When asked what 2 plus 2 was he responded with a very startled and nervous 22

Kid Flash / Wally West (Percussion)

Look,,,,buddy,,,,amigo,,,,chum,,,,

He and Kyd Wykkyd have had a lil rivalry goin on since the fiRST TIME KYD STOLE HIS APPLE JUICE IN PRE-K

Y do you think he joined percussion… (it’s because percussion is usually seated behind trombones and Kyd hates drums and loud noises)

bUT on the plus side his ADHD is now a lot less terrifying

During practice he literally just plays Hall of Fame on repeat

‘No...no no….no no plEASE STOP TOUCHING MY HAIR’

(jokingly) chants the word ‘gay’ and slowly gets louder every time Kyd so much as sPEAKs

He and Kyd have sarcasm competitions

Also memes but less out loud and more…

‘Wally I sweAR TO GOD IF YOU DONT STOP TeXTING ME MEMES IN CLASS’

‘Wykkyd iS THAT AN WEED IM CALLING THE POLICE’ inside jokes

Jinx / Jaya Salem (Pit)

Just wants a nap

All the time

Someone get her an energy drink

Puts up with Kyd + Mammoth + Billy + See-More’s shit not to mention her little brother most of the time

It’s Gizmo. The little brother is Gizmo.

‘I just...want to just like...can I plug myself into a charger? Can I do that, is that a thing?’

Literally the only person out of her friend circle that passes most of her classes

dO NOT TOUCH HER CATS JUST DONT DO IT

‘Do you think if I concuss myself I can get out of practice for today?’

all of her jokes are also either self depricating or just insulting to others

insomniac

Punk Rocket / Thomas Leonard (Drum Major)

mOST IRRESPONSIBLE DRUM MAJOR EVER 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND

‘Well y’know...i’m already in a Band so like...how hard could Drum Major be?’

Very hard. He made a mistake. He regrets everything.

School Principal: ‘are you aware that your hair is white?’

Rocket: ‘are you aware that your a fUCKING SQUARE???’

He got suspended after that

‘Okay look I know it looks really gay that I’m riding on a motorcycle with my really hot buddy but it’s not - fuck that is really gay, maybe I’m really gay.’

One big bundle of ‘oh no’ when you pop the question of ‘what’s your sexuality’

Gets wAY TOO INTO the really big moments when directing on field

Fell of the pedestal his first game

Over time actually starts taking Band very seriously and enjoying it

Slade Wilson

funds the Band’s everything

Addie cooks for the Band and helps with fundraisers

also I just really need an AU where Slade is just,,,,a good dad,,,,Joey deserves a good dad k

he was off in the army for a while so he comes back and apparently Joey is not four anymore?? and he has a boyfriend???? and turned out to somehow be shorter than his own mother?????????

Joey made ‘when will my father return from the war’ jokes the entire time to cope

Slade is still getting used to things and the crowd and screaming of football games makes him v uncomfortable but he goes to support Joey

who is off to the side trying to avoid looking at his father who is now waving his hands frantically

Rose comes too but mainly to make fun of the entire Band

Grant’s already in college so he don’t give a shit

Literally everyone in the Band lOVES Mr. Wilson and Adeline but Joey just wants them to leave him alone

Slade is that one dad,,,,he tRIES SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND BAND HUMOR AND IT DOESNT WORK

still doesn’t know how he feels about Kyd 

Slade and Joey bond over Slade picking him up after practice and Joey iMMEDIATELY going into rant mode

‘tHIS HETERO A HOLE DAD YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE-’

surprisingly okay with Joey’s sexuality, he’s still getting used to it nonetheless

Mrs. and Mrs. Wykkyd

Kyd Wykkyd has two v lesbian moms and you can’t tell me otherwise like that’s my headcanon for him plus I love supportive gay parents that are better parents than the hets themselves

Kyd was adopted but they love their beautiful son v v much and he loves them

Kyd never really knew his biological parents and everyone acts like it’s a big deal but he he doesn’t?? care???? he knows who his parents are its Aarti Bindiya-Knight and Alison Knight duh

one of his moms is East Indian so he takes part in a lot of her culture just like his other mom does

he also gets vERY OFFENDED and filled with Righteous Anger when anyone discriminates or makes Indian jokes / lesbian jokes in class

Elliot is taller than both of his moms and usually has to bend down so they can hug him

Alison is American and very vERY kind hearted

Aarti has a very muscley stature and it taller than Alison. Her hair is cut short and curly and she looks like the person who will want to fight you and hug you at the same time.

Alison is v v short and has very light blonde hair that just kind wisps everywhere. V pale and really really likes sundresses.

Alison still tries to kiss Elliot on the cheek before he gets on the bus but Aarti holds her back so Elliot can run

she’s the cooking mom. she cooks. all the time. that’s how she shows her emotions.

‘Aar what if he forgot his backpack or his lunch do you think he’s doing okay what if someone is bullying him as we speak-’ ‘Ali. Ellie is fine. He is twice your height either way there is no way he is getting bullied.’

Alison got Elliot into drawing which he does a lot now

they are v v supportive of literally anything he does and most kids are actually kinda jealous. 

tHEY ARE THE OVEREXCiTeD PARENTS AT EVERY GAME

NEITHER KNOW WHATS GOING ON BUT THEIR SON IS DOING A THING SO THATS WHATS IMPORTANT

they still keep home videos from when Elliot was a baby despite his birthday wish being for them to burn all of the videos last year

Barry Allen

he’s the track coach at their school and everybody was ASTONISHED when he showed up to a football game

‘okay yeah I know where the track field is - can you all maybe chill I just wanna see my nephew hit his drums.’

He and Wally are the ‘Red headed Heathens’ of the school

a term coined by the principal himself

Barry is still trying to get Wally to join track (he is also still failing)

Blows his whistle like a fricking AIRHORN at games

Very big despite only working on his legs ever and also very affectionate so I hope you have a strong spine because he shows his appreciation via hugs

the only teacher with actual freckles

fRECKLES

‘I would give you some cool pep talk Wally but to be honest I have no idea what’s going on just go out and have fun.’

[meet-me-at-kingsmeet]

The (very troublesome) unification of Vere/Akielos

@exy-king @time-limit what is politics LOL,,, Im just going to answer this relatively paragraph by paragraph to keep it simple and I’ll also point out im not familiar with Australian history so if anything I say clashes then my bad lol

Delpha would definitely have to go under independent rule for several main reasons: 

Like you said, Vere and Akielos need to compromise and hold Delpha equally so there isn’t an underlying power struggle of “well THIS country has more land” blah blah blah 

Delpha is an area that has already dealt with forced intermixing (if im remembering correctly) So the people of Delpha would probably accede to the idea of independence rather than secede back and forth between the two countries. 

^^This means the people of Delpha appreciate their King’s independence which leads to one less civil war having to be worried about

I see Delpha as the beginning of city-states in Akielos and Vere especially if it will still be under rule of the King’s just advised by a council

(^^Nikandros will probably be put in charge of this council. Not only would it make sense because he is definitely one of the more higher ranked men in the kingdom, has served at Kingsmeet and as a Kyroi, and showed substantial loyalty to the King of Akielos it is the only fair political move that I can see being made for Nikandros? Like, yes Nikandros loves Damen but realistically after all the bullshit he was put through to have someone else be given that power.....BIG YIKES. Because we gotta remember Nikandros is a born bred noble/politician, loyalty to a king can really only be pushed so far)

The more public intermixing of cultures would be very healthy for other areas of the two countries to see, plus the fact that Delpha is a more wealthy land would show strong trade and power. With the right address, Laurent/Damen could make it seem like Delpha is so powerful because the kingdoms/people are combined

Avoiding Mutiny 101

Laurent and Damen would both have to immediately address the insurrection of both The Regent and Kastor:

The Regent: Pretty simple honestly? He has done a lot of damage but many veretian (and akielon) soldiers/nobles and the council witnessed the evidence against The Regent’s betrayal. Laurent would just have to have it written in the books (history/veretian newsletter??) What happened and the evidence behind it. Once it is made absolutely public that The Regent is the reason King Aleron died, and his mutiny against Crown Prince Laurent, like almost anything he has said will be put to deep shame along with anyone who still agrees to it. “Did you hear prince Laurent did this-” “That’s just what The Regent wanted us to believe. He also said Akielos was the cause of our King’s Death.” So now not only is Laurent in the clear (for the most part, it will always be a gradual step-by-step) but Akielos is no longer being held responsible for the death of their king. So basically what Laurent is gonna need to do is exactly what The Regent was gonna do to Laurent: shit talk the fuck out of him. (Honestly?? Yaaaaaass) 

Kastor: A lot of people are gonna be like “damen would never crap-talk his brother bc Kastor was family!!” like....thats great and true and all but politically that’s not going to work in Damen’s favor and knowing Laurent he is gonna wanna get this done asap. It will need to be made public that Kastor attempted to kill Damen (The originally plan seemed to be: Damen is framed for Laurent’s murder (if he doesn’t actually attempt to kill the surly fucker), and is then put on trial and killed for treason). That’s definitely murder/treason by proxy. More people sway to Damen side, let everyone know he killed King Theomedes (who everyone seemed to respect) and Kastor’s supporters diminish by quite a bit. 

Running a country is all about keeping the lower/working class people in a desired group mindset and you usually do that by having a hero, a victim, and a villian (having the reg ppl be the victims earns brownie points)

In the beginning both countries are going to to have people who dislike their own rulers, and then have the other monarch to top it off. So while the real work is slowly getting done, the first few months would have to be complete slander towards those who opposed Laurent/Damen (think of an Ad Hominem type of politics) 

Delpha flourishes and Marlas...gains a Palace??

First of all...........idk WHERE the money comes from so i’m just going to assume that both Akielos and Vere have no money issues whatsoever (im SHOOK,,Vere literally just lost a war and land like 6 years ago so???????)

YES Laurent and Damen are canonly building a palace in Marlas (see: The Summer Palace). I’m gonna shoot for the stars and say that it will be similar to what King Louis XIII did when he built Versailles (WHICH WAS VERY EXPENSIVE so that’s why I’m confused because it seemed that maybe a year at most had went by and Damen/Laurent were already building a new palace that would have to include both Veretian and Akielan style/aesthetic, I can’t imagine that being cheap and so I assume the people if Vere/Akielos could become angry at this. Seeing new Kings, one of them you probs dont trust, spend a bunch on a palace?? YIKES) BUT, it has been done before in history. 

^^^I can see the palace being built being acceptable by 

Already having the funds to build it

Using the building of the Marlas Palace to have artists/architects from Akielos and Vere work together

It creates jobs for the people!

^^^Slavery has already been abolished

The Palace is a good idea dont get me wrong. Mixing architecture, having a Palace in the middle of the two countries, and showing off both countries wealth is great for morale......But to do it within a year of power? *long whistle*

But hey i guess if Delpha is working out and they use most of the economic stability being granted from that city-state? Not to shabby

tbh im kinda pissy that i dnt kno more about the working class of Vere/Akielos

King’s Rising? No! Emperor's Rising!!

If you look at European geography, countries with monarchies are SMALL! The more bigger countries that had monarchies didn’t even really carry that title (Austrian-Hungary Empire)

Akielos and Vere uniting would make WAY to large a country to run, two King’s or not it would be way to overwhelming in a country where the people still didn’t totally get along. 

It’s difficult bc unfortunatley iphones dont exist, and, imagine an enemy country having their troops fight a war on opposite ends of Vere and Akielos: communication is going to be so important and having a messenger travel back and forth like 500-1000 miles for news?? Lmao thats hilarious

“Calling from Arles: We need support. STOP” 

 “Calling From Ios: We need support. STOP” 

middle man Marlas is like “well we only have enough troops right now for one place so who needs it more???” 

And then three weeks goes by. THATS TERRIBLE

Fast communication is essential during war. Its a main reason why the first form a telecommunication was created (see: American Civil War Morse code telegraphs)

Vere/Akielos would def need to become an empire. 

I can see this working best by removing a monarchy and switching to an empire form of ruling while then creating city-states (This is how The Roman Empire and Ancient Greece worked--lots of city states--but Laurent/Damen would have to make it work under one rule. 

god that sounds like so much messy work that would take so much time BUT THEY GOTTA WORK FAST

mainly bc i think Laurent woudln’t trust anyone to continue their work after they die so he would be up in everyone’s business like “chop chop you fuckers” 

This is looking to have very little free time for Damen/Laurent

Soldiers/Money/Communication

Money is definitely the first thing to address. It is what makes the world go round fam. Its why servants work. Its why Akielos had slaves: to save money

again if slavery was abolished than Akielos just lost a lot of money and therefore where did Palace money come from? Delpha? A large loan they took from banks? did they tell their people they took that loan? If the palace starts a deficit Laurent/Damen are fucked

Training soldiers together is a great way to intermix the people. I think building multiple training grounds across Akielos/Vere and forcing the soldiers to interact and work together. 

What’s really good for an economy, forces soldiers to fight for each other, and also could destroy nasty internal nationalism? A WAR!!

Laurent and Damen are gonna have to pick fights with other countries outside Patras/Vask (and do this after they stabilize alliances with Patras/Vask

Let me tell you about M.A.I.N.

To unite their people and start and win a war they will need to:

Glorify the military as a way to draft more soldiers (Akielos already seems to have a glorified military so wee)

Showcase Alliances: “Vere and Akielos will protect each other!” “Our alliances with Patras/Vask are stronger bc of Vere/Akielos uniting!” Obligation to fight if allied nation does, shit like that

Imperialism: steal land for trade?? idk this one isnt that important unless you can think of how it can be useful

Nationalism!!: THIS IS A BIG DEAL!!! Nationalism is and always will be a current issue. Nationalism and Religion are the two main big reasons a war happens. Vere/Akielos both suffer from obvious nationalism. (Please keep in mind that Nationalism in M.A.I.N. is not friendly competition. Its a very unhealthy and intense devotion to a country and leads to xenophobia). By having a war, Vere/Akielos can be like “Look at this other country we are fighting. We are much better than that stupid, pathetic, country. Let’s unite and fight and take!! (there’s the imperialism!). 

Language of the people!

FUCK ME

this is some shit that won’t be fixed immediately 

Veretian and Akielon will both have to be taught (do they have schools?? im pissy again) 

People will have to learn the languages in their own way. 

If soldiers are forced to intermingle and fight together it will quicken the learning

The common people will be the reason new phrases and words will combine and a new language will be created

If the kingdom/empire tries to prioritze a language it will piss a lot of people off (cause nationalism) so common people mixing the language into creating an entire new one for the united country is the main way I could see this working out

Marriage and Heirs!

I know you said this was a whole other bag of cats but its a VERY IMPORTANT bag of cats

Uniting in marriage is a very common way of uniting/creating alliances. 

It doesn’t always bring the people together BUT if the marriage works and the politics move swimmingly and the heir becomes beloved (in our world, if it was a male heir it was like FUUUUUCKK YAAAASS QUEEN) it can create a really strong bond!

If you have an heir

Smudge that idea away all you want it is the main reason for marriage alliances. 

Im not kidding if the couple didn’t produce an heir the alliance could collapse 

i can’t stress this enough like not just politically this was/is a HUGE deal to the common people too

So Damen and Laurent get married. Now they have united their kingdom through marriage, yay! Step one complete

Now they need an heir. 

NOT JUST ANY HEIR

The point is to mix Country A and Country B

so let’s look at it this way:

Damen has an heir. It can be from Jokaste or a Vaskian woman doesn’t matter 

It has to be Damen. Maybe Akielos won’t care who the mother is bc that’s their culture but we need to worry about Vere’s culture too now. 

If Damen chooses an heir that’s Akielon or a Vaskian, it will probably be more of an insult to the Veretian people if anything. 

There’s...no Veretian bloodline...where is Vere’s stability?? 

This means, going by history that if Damen doesn’t have an heir that’s half Veretian........the marriage is honestly kind of moot 

Damen will have to eventually have a child with a Veretian woman (noble, most likely). That doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll have to marry her. I think They could get around that by claiming the baby as “not a bastard bc the mother is a surrogate” 

BUT YEAH heirs are super important so that’s honestly how I see it needing to go

YEP its long sorry about that. My main knowledge of history is Ancient Greek/Roman and French history (Which was before i read capri believe it or not) so that’s what this stuff is heavily based on along with other histories too of course. 

Hope I helped and sorry if it’s confusing or somthing and totally hmu again if you have more questions/wanna keep talkin bout this <<33

[officerhaughtstuff]

as for trivia stuff (which i will relate to wynonna earp)... do you know anything about the first nations? i kind of would love to see more of that on the show. i think aboriginal culture was mentioned maybe twice? the ep w/ the bear and i think we were supposed to see the blacksmith as part of the first nations? anyways, any interesting facts you know about first nations?

okay. so i know i know more trivia facts than these, but i blanked. so you can have 1 true trivia fact, 2 myths/legends originating from indigenous people, and 3 badass historical indigenous people to look up or maybe ask me about later:

here is the trivia fact related to aboriginal people in australia for you: despite the common myth, kangaroo does not mean “i don’t know” in aboriginal. bc first off aboriginal isnt a language or even a single fucking group. in 18th century australia there were at least 700 tribes speaking as many as 250 different languages. the word kangaroo (or gangaru) is from the guugu yimithirr language of the people who lived by Botany Bay. it means large grey/black kangaroo. big surprise. but the english used the word to refer to any kangaroo or wallaby, not just the specific one to which the people of Botany Bay were referring. 

it goes further though. bc the origin of this misconception is when the English went up to the Baagandji people 14 hundred miles away and used this word. even though the people there didnt /speak/ guugu yimithirr, the Baagandji people reasonably interpreted this word as “an animal that hasn’t been seen before” bc i mean it makes the most sense. they used the word to describe the English’s horses, which they had never seen the likes of before.

here’s one myth: associated with the Tupi people, a major indigenous group in Brazil about a mermaid named Iara. well, mermaid after a sort. Iara grew up in a tribe that lived in the Amazon, the pride of her people, the best warrior, the smartest person, the most beautiful, and the daughter of the spiritual leader. she had two brothers who grew jealous of how much she overshadowed them in every way. so they decided to get down with some murder to solve their problems. they waited until she was asleep, bc theyre big brave warriors but also bc they knew if she was awake that she could take them. only they were only half right. she killed them both in self defense while still half-asleep bc she was that rad. only no one listened when she said it was in her defense, that they were trying to kill her. so her dad let the tribe hunt her down. she escaped for a while, but eventually with the whole tribe hunting her she was caught and drowned in a river. the fish, however, thought she was p rad so they turned her (dead body btw. she died. real dead. all the way. not even “mostly” dead. full stop dead dead) into a half-fish half-human. she was the first of the Iara, a whole group of mermaids that lived in Amazonian rivers. they (and Iara herself first) would entrance men so completely with their singing/general beauty and awesomeness that men would be lured to them/her. and what happened next differed. you either were drowned and eaten, or turned into a brainwashed member of their/her harem and treated fairly decently for a brainwashed harem member. if a man did escape, the Iara’s beauty would leave them literally insane. 

this myth probably was a result of co-mingling of indigenous beliefs and european influence. but, as i said before, it is closely associated with the Tupi people

the second myth: this time from Mayan culture. This one relates to another myth, but the backstory is what we’re talking about here. so the other myth, to provide some reference point, is another myth that is about a demon who is the spirit of a beautiful young woman. who seduces men and kills them. bc who doesn’t love a good siren mythos? but the origin of this siren-esque mythos is interesting, much like the myth of Iara. we start with the typical virgin/whore dichotomy. this time in the form of two beautiful sisters, Utz-Colel and Xkeban. which mean “good woman” and “sinner” respectively and also inventively. i think you can figure out who was the virgin and who was the whore in this dichotomy for yourself. but! interestingly enough, thats not all there was to their personalities! which is something that not even modern media can always handle, so props to the Mayans. Xkeban, the “whore” was generous with her love. which, sure, meant she had a bunch of sex. but it also meant that she shared her love with everyone, like the poor and the needy and the sick. she’d even sell the gifts from her suitors and donate the proceeds to those in need. nice lady, is what im saying. Utz-Colel, the virgin, on the other hand, took her whole “im a good girl and a virgin and im pure and therefore better than you” thing to extremes. she wouldnt even smile at those who she thought were “unworthy”. we all know the type. we’ve all met the type. this type is, apparently, eternal. unfortunately.

then, one day, Xkeban is found dead in her home, to everyone’s surprise! but instead of your typical “rotting-corpse” smell she instead emits a beautiful fragrance, the most beautiful perfume. when she was buried sweet-smelling flowers sprang up from her grave. Utz-Colel was confused. her sister was literally the worst. a dirty sinner. how could a dirty sinner emit anything but the worst stench in death? either way, she figured, she was sure to emit a smell ten times better than her sister on her own death bc she is Pure and Good. its even in her name. Utz-Colel eventually died, as so many of us do. she died a virgin and was commended by her neighbors as being very chaste. only when she died she emitted the mother of all stenches. like “rotting corpse” stench but the dial is turned up to eleven. foul-smelling flowers are what sprang form her grave. from the afterlife Utz-Colel is confused and pretty pissed off. now, for most people this may be mildly distressing and a turning of your worldview but youre dead, whats it matter now? youve got cool afterlife shit to get up to. only Utz-Colel sucks at letting things go. so she mulls this over for a while. then comes to the exact wrong conclusion. instead of “my sister was actually pretty nice, even with all the sinning and i was kinda Terrible” she thinks “my sister clearly committed the sexiest of the sins, i gotta get in on that”. so she twists Xkeban’s generosity in all things, including love, to become Xtabay (literally “female ensnarer” what ingenious subtlety) who seduces and kills wayward men. because Utz-Colel sucks at figuring out the right lesson to learn.

the three historical people to look up:

-Malinche, who was Mayan and about whom there are conflicting stories and opinoins. be sure to look up both sides. she was influential when the Spanish met the Mayans

Osh-Tisch, who was from the Crow Nation and one of the last baté(Two Spirit spiritual leaders). Her name translates to “Finds Them and Kills Them” she was crazy brave, despite the horrible treatment white people gave to people like her. (also it would be helpful to look up Two Spirit as it is an interesting and important gender identity amongst some indigenous groups and i don’t want to do it disservice by explaining it incorrectly at 1:30am on a trivia rant)

Micaela Bastidas, who was from Peru/Bolivia and instrumental in conflicts with the Spanish there at the time. It would be a mistake to claim she was only an accessory to her husband’s goals. She was the daughter of an African man and an indigenous woman, and she was tactically gifted. She also worked closely with a Creole woman whose name I am sadly blanking on.

[sharksfood]

so this thought just came into my head and i want to explore it.

in my life i’ve only seen 3 films so far that i read as books before they became movies. im not counting comic books/graphic novels that became movies bcs thats a little different, books that became tv shows, or plays that became movies. but its interesting to think about that.

i didnt read harry potter until well after the films (all of them lmao) were released, i’ve never read how to train your dragon, i’ve never read the hobbit/lotr, the animated alice in wonderland came out in the 50s, i have only recently read the last unicorn, i read World War Z after the movie came out (and ive never seen all of the movie), and i read the neverending story when i was cast in the play.

the books that i read before they came out in film are; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, Warm Bodies, and Goosebumps.

Goosebumps kind of fits but it was made into a tv series first, and im not sure if i read the books or saw the shows first. i did both, i know that much.

I read Warm Bodies only bcs I wanted to see the movie but thought the book would be cool to read (its amazing and has a completely different feel from the movie), and Lion Witch Wardrobe was bcs my dad read it to me when I was younger. That and The Magician’s Nephew are the only Narnia books ive ever read.

I was going to try and read Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children before the movie came out, but that work out for me.

if you want to count comics and graphic novels, then the list gets bigger. but comics already have the characters drawn out, so unlike books, you dont have an idea in your head on what the character looks like. that is so often changed in film, plus you loose so much detail and nuance when you go book to screenplay to film (this is also true with comics, but its still different)

However, and the biggest reason as to why I’m thinking about this, two movies will be coming out in the next few years, and both of them are based on my favorite books of all time (aside from the alice books of course). 

The first is Captain Underpants! I know that this is a book series with words and pictures, so technically its a graphic novel series, but they’re kids books! and those tend to have an awful lot of pictures. This series was my FAVORITE (other than the alice books) as a kid!! they were fun, hilarious, relatable, and just all around super great. So when i saw the trailer for the animated film that’s coming out this year based on the series i was ECSTATIC!! Were it live-action i would be bummed out since kids picture books usually fair better when animated (im not a fan of the diary of a wimpy kid movies....) but this animation is handled a lot like The Peanuts movie. The animation look like a color and 3D version of the exact art style!! its wonderful and im SO EXCITED

The other one, and this i am VERY VERY nervous about, is Ready Player One. that is my favorite sci-fi novel ever. i often say its my favorite book ever bc it deserves more love! and i do so much love it. ive reread it i dont even know how many times. and what do you know, they’re making it into a movie!! when i heard about this i had so many mixed feelings, and most of it has to do with the style of the book and the characters.

-Ready Player One Spoilers-

In Ready Player One the protagonist starts out as a dirt poor, fat, unattractive teen boy, and later he gets more physically fit/healthy and rich. he claims to still be unattractive at this point (mostly bcs he jues doesnt like how he looks and he looses all his body hair). this is very important to the character! i’m afraid that in this movie hollywood will do as they always do and make him a skinny conventionally attractive teen from the get-go. people will probably pull the Holes excuse of “the filmmakers didnt want to make the actor gain a bunch of weight and then loose it all” BULLSHIT they can cast a fat actor! and through his training and as they film the movie he can loose some weight or they can use movie magic (like when they made chris evans a scrawny little thing). its not that hard, people.

Another character, and this was super important to me and was a big subplot, is that Wade best friend, Aech, whom he only knows through the game (OASIS) plays as a white, straight, guy avatar, but they’re actually a black lesbian named Helen. And she plays this avatar to protect herself and to get a job and be taken seriously within OASIS. is super sad she has to do this, but its a big part of her character. she’s also fat as well, and im REALLY worried that in the movie she’s going to be a skinny straight white girl.

Two other characters who have important characteristics are Art3mis (Samantha) and the creator of OASIS James Halliday. Art3mis is Wade later love interest and GF. She is notable bcs her avatar is just like her, a chubby girl with black hair, but sans her port-wine birthmark. I know they’ll keep her birthmark, since its an intimate reveal, but they’ll probably make her skinny and i hate it. Now it’s only half canon in the books, but i’ve chosen to go with it, but at one point Wade talks about James Halliday’s childhood and his personality and all that, and mentions that he might have been autistic. Now, since it’s only he “might have been” in the books, the filmmakers will probably not make him autistic. That’s fucking sad to me, I mean, it would be amazing!! This character is one of the smartest, most famous, most prolific video game programmers/designers in history!! And he’s autistic! That is some wonderful representation and the filmmakers should jump on that opportunity. It’ll inspire so many autistic people who have a passion for video games to pursue their dreams. But, i have a hunch they wont go with it.

Two other characters, Daito and Shoto, are Japanese young guys who claim to be brothers (and their characters are) but are just friends in the real world. My initial hunch was that the filmmakers would keep them Japanese, but given the recent whitewashing of important Japanese characters, I have my doubts.

My few other concerns are that this movie won’t have 80s pop culture as the main style and focus of the era they book is set in, not to mention OASIS and most of people’s interests. It’s incredibly important to the novel, but so many dystopian movies choose to go with gritty, futuristic, edgy stuff. The other concern is how they will handle the real life vs OASIS look, since over half of the book takes place inside a VR video game. I’ve seen news that they are utilizing VR technology, but i havent read too much. I’m wondering if they’ll animate all of OASIS and the avatars and action and anything in the video game! That would be awesome.

So these are all my thoughts. I havent looks at who they’ve cast yet, so I’m going to do that right now. I do know that Steven Spielberg is directing it, which could be fantastic or terrible. Okay, cast time.

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So the IMDB doesnt say who is cast as Daito and Shoto, but Wikipedia says that Win Morisaki of PrizmaX will play him, which is great! I hope that’s what happens.

Art3mis/Samantha will be played by Olivia Cooke, who in my opinion is way too old. She’s older than me! The character’s age (i think) isnt mentioned in the book, but she’s got to be 17-20, and Olivia Cooke looks older than that. She’s also not chubby, but hey, maybe they’ll fit that. She also doesnt have the birthmark, but that’s gonna be makeup. (wouldve been cool if they found an actress with a port-wine stain on her face...)

Parzival/Wade will be played by Ty Sheridan. He was Cyclops in X-Men Apocalypse. He’s the right age, but way too fit and attractive. DAMN IT Well, I guess there’s always makeup and special effects, but i’m 80% sure now they wont make Wade fat.....

Aech/Helen will be played by Lena Waithe who is almost PERFECT. She’s much older than Aech, who is around 18, but like Samantha i imagine they’ll have make up and acting to cover it. My biggest concern is that she’s not fat like Aech, which means they’ll use a body suit or effects or Lena will gain weight, or they wont do anything.....

T.J. Miller will be playing I-r0k, who is another OASIS player and a bigtime douchebag jerk. This is perfect. We don’t know his age, or really anything other than his personality and avatar, and T.J. Miller is hilarious so this/ll be great.

Mark Rylance will be playing James Halliday, witch is fine by me. He’s not quite what I imagined, but thats what makeup and wigs are for. He’s worked a lot with Steven Spielberg, so that makes sense as to why he’s cast here. I just hope he can portray an autistic character well and with respect.... (would be better if he IS autistic but ya know.....)

Simon Pegg will be playing Ogden Morrow, the co-creator of OASIS, and thats perfect. No complaints.

Nolan Sorrento (the antagonist of the book and head of operations at Innovative Online Industries) will be played by Ben Mendelsohn, who was Director Krennic in Rouge One. He is much older and not quite and slimy as I imagined him, but this can totally work. I pictured Nolan Sorrento as Andrew Scott in my head, since he seems like the perfect evil, charismatic, slimy, attractive but ugly inside business man.

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So, after looking at the current casting choices im a little let down, but still excited! I’ll have to wait patienly for the trailer, since this thing is coming out in 2018. Dang, this turned into a Ready Player One post, but its been on my mind recently.

If you read through all of this, good job! let me know what you think! i probably dont talk about Ready Player One very often but thats bcs i dont know anyone in real life (other than my dad) who has read this book, and the online fandom seems nonexistent. Who knows?

But yeah, I guess I made this post bcs I wasn’t able to share the collective nervousness, complaints, and excitement of Harry Potter or LotR or Percy Jackson fans when their fav books became movies.