#also a LOT of different ideas that i hopped around on while trying to type this up

[armpirate]

Did I say I love you? || Jungkook

Bf experience

pairing: idol!JK x fem!reader

w.c.: 6k

Warnings: smut, fluff, breast play, female masturbation, male masturbation, public sex, unprotected sex (Minors DNI! Refrain from reading if you're not +18, and ignore if you don't like this type of content)

Aprox. time of reading: 26 minutes

Summary: Jungkook didn't prepare that trip with the idea of confessing his feelings, but his heart spoke up before he could control it.

MASTERLIST

Boba ball: Put smthg comfy on today

Boba ball: I'll pick u up at twelve

You were quite used to the special weekend dates you two planned, it was the only thing that made you move throughout the week in a good mood, excited for Saturday ever since Monday kicked in.

Two months back, it was his way to adapt into your life when seeing you in the evenings, after you finished your shift, wasn't enough. Although most of those dates happened usually in either of your places, because even if you liked each other a lot, you knew the risks of going out in public. Maybe that was what pulled you back from actually accepting a date from him the first time he asked you out.

You knew him long before your eyes met at your company's year-end party. His aura was already powerful when you admired him through a screen, but it was completely different when he approached you first, with a nervous smile that you thought he'd never dedicate to you. You knew everything about him before you two went on a first date, but it felt like you were discovering those things for the first time as you heard them coming out of his mouth directly. You knew the superstar, and all the consequences that'd come with it. But you also knew that boy who made dumb jokes that you'd only find funny if they came from him, because his giggles had you smiling immediately after. And with that boy you were head over heels for, you completely ignored those consequences, and were ready to face them as soon as they came.

You frowned, confused when you saw his car parked in front of your building while he waited for you, with his lower back resting against the bonnet.

Jungkook smiled as soon as he saw you doing a little run to him, ready to wrap his arms around you as soon as you stood in front of him. Although you stopped yourself from doing, holding back from also linking your lips together in a small peck, followed by a new one, and a new one, until you moved your head back to look into his sparkly big eyes, when you realized you were out in the open.

"I see you're excited for today" he joked, standing straight in front of you.

"What did you prepare?" you questioned, tilting your head.

"Hmm" he pursed his lips, looking away from you, "Should I tell you or should I let you guess?".

"You won't tell me, right?" your eyes were squinted at him, knowing him for long enough to know that he probably would keep the suspense until he thought it was the proper time to reveal it.

You hopped inside the car after he opened the door for you, seeing him surround the bonnet before he joined you and gave you all those pecks he felt only safe giving you behind the tinted windows of his car.

As he drove, you tried to guess what the surprise could be, taking in consideration the fact that he was wearing comfortable baggy clothes -not that they weren't his usual style, but he also asked you to wear something similar-, and how he brought his car instead of his motorbike.

As time went by, and Jungkook kept driving on different roads you hadn't been in before, you turned to him.

"Are we going on a trip?" you asked excitedly.

"You're close" he nodded, tilting his head while he kept his eyes on the road.

That answer left you confused, trying to think what could be close to a trip, and that'd also require you to leave the city.

"We aren't going camping, are we?" you tried to take a guess, unable to hide the hope for a positive answer with your question.

His hand laid on your knee, squeezing it as he giggled to your reaction "That's exactly what we're doing".

Your legs shook on the spot, before you took off your seatbelt and kissed his cheek out of excitement. You remembered you had mentioned it a week back, while you were watching one of the episodes of the kdrama you started watching together. It wasn't something you gave a lot of importance to, just something you mentioned because it also appeared, and it reminded you of when you used to do it with friends back home. The fact that he took all that information, and turned it into a surprise made your heart squeeze in your chest.

After twenty minutes on the road, Jungkook turned his face at you, giving you a quick smile "Is it a good plan? Or maybe you'd have preferred to stay at home and get some rest?".

"Don't be silly" you squeezed his knee, trying to reassure him that you were the happiest by his idea. "This is the best plan you could've come up with".

Your words only made him smile wider, thinking the corners of his lips would leave his face at any point by how they kept stretching whenever he was around you. It was simple: you made it all better, and seeing you excited and happy only topped that full sensation on his chest that he was feeling in that moment.

He remembered the first time he saw you, and how it all clicked even before you two spoke to each other. He thought that floating sensation that people talked about was only real in movies, but then he met you. Jungkook was convinced that the moment you two made eye contact for the first time, his feet raised from the ground and made him fly exactly where you were.

It was a non-stop need since you exchanged the first words, never getting enough and extending that small talk, that was supposed to last a few minutes, to turn it into a conversation that would only end when he dropped you at home the morning after.

He didn't even think he had that many things to talk about with anyone.

"How's work been?" he asked first.

"Good. It has been a calm week, surprisingly" you scoffed, turning to him. "What about you? How was it like to go back to the routine?".

When you two met each other, Jungkook was enjoying his last few weeks of that improvised break. He had all the time he could think of, and he invested most of it in you as soon as he met you. Calls, texts, quick visits to your company, late night sneaks to take some fresh air, or chill evenings cuddling on the couch... that was what you were introduced to after you started seeing each other after only a few weeks. And right when you were close to growing a deeper connection, he was sent back to reality -almost having him regretting getting back to work.

It still worked out.

You didn't see each other as much, but it was still enough to remind you both of how bad you actually wanted to be next to the other. Even then, your minds were still linked, to the point where the smallest thing would be a reminder of your relationship, or the things the other liked or disliked, the places you could go to together, or the things you could try to eat when you saw each other in the weekend or in those secret and short night outs in the middle of the week.

Jungkook settled everything when you arrived at the place, all while you stayed to the side while waiting for him to need your help. But he'd only turn to you every two minutes to dedicate a gentle smile to you while his nose scrunched, before he turned back to the half assembled tent.

"Are you hungry?" he turned to you with a sided smile, clapping his hands when it all was already settled.

Your stomach squeezed at the mention of food. Even if you two stopped at the resting area to get something for lunch on your way to the beach, your body was already craving for something more than some snacks.

It only took him one tiny move of your head to start walking back to his car and open the truck to get a few bags out. As you looked inside, you could see some meat packages, but also some recipients that you were sure had food inside.

You sighed, aware of all the work it took him to prepare all that for you "You should've told me, I would've prepared or bought something".

Jungkook smiled at you fondly, poking his hands inside his baggy pants. He obviously had the money to buy all the food you wanted in the world, yet there you were again: making it seem like he wasn't and he'd probably go bankrupt after buying a packet of pork belly. Maybe that was what he liked the most about you. It was always with small gestures like the one you just had, with the way you never, in those two months you had been seeing each other, made him feel out of place. You gave him a safe corner, where he was allowed to be himself, to be seen as much more than just the idol.

"If I had told you, there would have been no surprise".

You puckered your lips while smiling, thinking that he definitely had a point with that, but still feeling a bit guilty.

"Don't look at me that way" he chuckled. "I'll let you cook if you want".

"Okay. Deal".

Your upset expression quickly turned into a playful smile as you reached for the camping gas box he had brought along with the bags. Although it'd quickly disappear in a frown when you tried to understand how to get that thing to work.

You looked up to him with a naughty smile, pointing to the pan "Can you do one last thing for me?".

"Five thousand wons" Jungkook answered with a serious expression, offering his hand to you. Your smile dropped at that, feeling your eyebrows slowly turning into a straight line while you looked at him "Or, a kiss".

"Okay" you giggle, motioning him to get that thing started.

It probably was more simple than what you thought if you had only paid attention to it, but your focus was on the way the tip of his tongue peeked through his lips and moved his piercing to care about how Jungkook got that thing to work.

"Done" he sighed, catching you red handed staring at him. "What will you do if it stops working?".

"I'll ask you to turn it on again" you shrugged.

Snorting before he giggled, he bent over you to go for that peck he earned, aiming to go for a second one before you moved your head back.

He was so good at distracting you. And he knew.

As you fought to open the meat package, he saw some of your hair locks falling over your face, turning into something that could bother you to cook -at least until he took his beanie off, putting it on you so your hair wouldn't be getting in your eyes and face.

While you cooked, you could feel Jungkook's eyes on you. It was nothing new from him, but they had a special spark that day. You could feel there was something different in the way he looked at you, but you couldn't quite tell what. You just knew it made you nervous, ending up feeding him every few pieces that were cooked to try to divert his attention from you. But it only had you giggling at him while he chewed on the hot food, exhaling some air while he tried to cool it down in his mouth. And Jungkook wouldn't take long to do the same for you, taking his chopsticks before blowing on the piece so it would be at the right temperature when he offered it to you.

Just like you cooked, Jungkook offered to clean all of the things that were used, singing random verses with his honeyed voice while you just stared at him the same way he looked at you before, unable to believe everything was indeed real, and that special human being allowed you to take a spot in his most genuine and intimate side, which wasn't too far from what Jungkook kept thinking about whenever his eyes laid on you. You fitted together perfectly like puzzle pieces, and you made him feel complete, aware of how there was something missing when he thought he had everything he needed.

Right when you thought he'd sit still and finally join you to enjoy the chilly weather and the beautiful sight, you saw him walking back to his car with the bags, and returning to you with a small bottle and something that seemed like a tiny canva.

Of course his creativity wouldn't relax, not even in that short getaway.

"What's this for?" you took the canva from his hand.

"I'll explain it to you there. Let's go".

Jungkook held your hand tight as you walked into the beach, leaving behind the grassy space you had settled your camping on. You'd have expected anything, but not that he actually wanted to create a memory out of that weekend with you.

It was special, meaningful... and it also meant that he probably saw your relationship as something that could be long-term even if you had been only two months into your relationship.

"Let's put some glue on your hand" he started, holding your wrist to keep your hand stable as he traced a line on each one of your fingers and some circles to mark your palm, "and stick it on the canvas".

"You saw this on TikTok, didn't you?" you teased him, with Jungkook answering shortly with a proud nod.

You knew because you had also seen that video of a couple doing exactly what you were doing.

"It reminded me of you" he confessed with a soft tone. "That's why I picked this place".

You smiled as you followed his guidance, pressing your hand to later help him pour some sand over it. When it was his turn, you tried to make sure you poured the white glue the same way he did, marking the main lines of his big hand before he placed it next to yours.

Jungkook lifted it up with his clean hand once it was done, showing it to you proudly. That was it, apart from all the videos and pictures, that was your first memory together.

Sitting next to each other, you two looked up at the starry sky, while covered with a warm blanket Jungkook just happened to have in his car -and that thankfully he carried with him. Your hands were sneaked under it, intertwining your fingers close, while his thumb traced some nonsensical lines that made your head feel at ease.

"Thank you for today" you whispered, only moving from looking at the stars in the sky to looking at the universe reflected in his eyes.

"Thank you for every day you've spent with me" he answered back, dedicating one of the sweetest smiles you had ever seen on him.

The burning sensation on your cheeks didn't take long to show up, forcing you to move your eyes away to look back at the sky as you fought to control the wide smile that was attempting to appear across your face.

"Hmm, what wish would you make if you saw a shooting star?" you quickly tried to switch the topic.

At first, you thought it'd be a way to change his focus from you to get it back on the sky over you, but it only made his gaze feel heavier on you.

What wish could he make?

He already had everything he wanted and needed, but he still tried to find the answer to your question, going through all the aspects in his life, covering up every corner, and all of a sudden every wish had something related to you. Jungkook didn't want that to end, that was his wish. He wanted to be with you, and he felt the sudden need to know you also felt the same way.

His heart pumped against his chest harder when those thoughts started crossing his mind, trying to order them all in his head to find the best way to say them out loud and getting them to make sense so you could understand.

"That the girl I love says she loves me back".

When you first heard him, you thought that maybe your Korean failed at some point. Could be you misunderstood a word, could be you misplaced the sentence in your head as you translated it. But it didn't seem like it when you looked back at him, finding his doe eyes bigger than usual, filled with that spark you had seen a few times throughout that day.

"I love you" he pronounced each word with the softest voice, holding your hand a bit tighter as he said them. "I know it might be too early, and maybe I'm rushing it, but I really love you. I want to be with you, and have these dates for a long long time. But I also want to be there for you when you need me, and look after you when you feel weak, I...".

"I love you, too".

You couldn't contemplate a universe where you didn't tell Jungkook you wanted exactly everything he wanted. Getting to know him during that time, actually spending quality time with him as you witnessed each and every single one of his facets made all those feelings that you had for him intensify every time your lips touched.

Hell, even your body felt lighter when he only pronounced your name.

His lips felt soft in contrast with the rough metal of his two lip rings when you linked your lips together, sucking on his lower lip before you moved to suck on the top one.

You just wanted everything from him.

"Come here, babe" he whispered, breaking the kiss.

"That chair won't handle our weight" your giggle built a few centimeters of distance as your head moved back.

"It will. Come here" he assured you, letting go of your hand to move the blanket away on his side.

How were you supposed to ignore those big brown eyes when he asked for cuddles?

You held onto the warm cup filled with hot chocolate he made sure to prepare on the camping gas before you could get all cozy.

"Can you say it again this close?" Jungkook asked once you were covered by the blanket while sitting on his lap.

A scoff left your lips at his question, knowing by the look he was giving you that he wanted it to be the second of so many other times hearing those words coming from you.

"I love you" you whispered, kissing his cheek.

"That won't work" his head shook while his lips were pressed together in disappointment. "You can't say those words and kiss me on the cheek. Repeat that, please".

"I love your annoying ass" you repeated, kissing the corner of his lips.

"Wrong sentence, and wrong place again. I can do this all night" he assured you.

His sassy tone made you giggle, trapping your lower lip between your teeth before you spoke again: "I love you".

Jungkook moved his head first, capturing your lips before you could totally lean over to him. It started sweet and gentle, but both of your mouths opened a little wider with every move you made, knowing it probably would be only the beginning of a whole make out session that could last for hours if you wanted to.

Except for the chair underneath you.

You only felt your body losing stability, and a loud gasp announcing the soon landing on the ground before you were actually aware of what happened.

Your cackles could probably be heard from meters away once you both made sure the other was okay, except for the hot chocolate messing up your oversized sweater and staining a bit of Jungkook's hoodie -although it was barely noticeable through the black fabric.

He got up first to help you stand up, holding your hands tight to make sure you wouldn't trip in the process.

"Look at your clothes" his concerned face made you giggle, thinking that he was more worried about it than you. "Change it and wear this".

Your mouth went dry when he took his hoodie off by pulling the neck up, making the white t-shirt he was wearing underneath rise with the fabric and expose his well-marked abs. You could feel your hormones start boiling up with that slight exposure of skin, feeling like you were back in your teenage years when the smallest thing was instantly connected to sex.

It was his power though.

Ever since you started dating, and even if you two tried to assure a normal date, the desire and hunger you felt for each other was always bigger than your willpower. Neither of you ever got enough of it. And that night would be no exemption.

"Babe, what are you thinking about?" he scoffed, looking at your blank expression as you held his hoodie tight in your hands.

But he already knew what was going on through your head. He could easily recognize the way your eyes darkened with some thoughts, and how you instinctively bit your lower lip to suppress them.

"Nothing" you shook your head, trying to get back to reality.

But it was too late to escape your ideas, because Jungkook already had a glimpse of them.

"Let me help you take off your sweater" his eyebrow raised with pettiness, stepping closer to you.

He blew into his hands, rubbing them together to warm them up before he started lifting your sweater slowly, making your body squirm lightly when the reverse of his fingers touched your stomach for the first time. The smirk told you everything you needed to know in that moment: he was going to help you give in to those filthy thoughts that flashed through your mind at the speed of light.

His nose rubbed against yours softly, almost getting your lips to touch as his hand moved dangerously close to your bra.

And you were already lost in him and his touch. With your boyfriend not having to do much more than just move his finger through your torso to have your knees almost shaking, eager for the kiss that would get you to lose your balance.

Before Jungkook could kiss you to let all his intentions be known, you moved your head back while a palm stopped him by his chest.

"Someone could see us" you giggled nervously.

"There's no one around. No one will see us. Don't worry" he assured you with a honeyed tone, rubbing right below the arch of your bra.

You both had tried to be careful with your relationship since the beginning. Barely going out -or showing no affection in public when you did, acting like strangers-, unable to act like a normal couple because the weight of his image was always heavier than your relationship. That, now that you were alone in the middle of nowhere, just lighted up by the fire he started, had you paranoid of someone popping up out of nowhere.

Jungkook was relaxed about it though.

Two of his fingers hooked on your chin, linking your lips together on a sweet kiss that would wash all those worries away, knowing a little bit too well how to get you to focus on him only.

Not even his smile kept you from moving along when your arms wrapped around his shoulders, sinking your fingers in the strand of his short locks as you tried to deepen the kiss. You could feel his mouth opening a bit wider when the tip of your tongue played with his lip rings, asking permission to get through. A gasp was shut down and drank by him when the hand on your torso moved down it until it reached your ass, squeezing one of your cheeks to pull you closer to his body and allowing you to feel the way his bulge started to grow against your lower belly. His hand moved a bit lower, digging in the link between your legs to steal a moan from you, when his fingers teased your pussy over your sweatpants.

You broke the kiss first, pulling from his lower lip, sucking on it, until it freed from your grip with a loud pop sound. Your open-mouthed kisses through his throat and neck, giving attention to every single mole in it, were also in sync with your silky and cold fingertips digging down his t-shirt, hearing Jungkook's groan above you by the contrast with his warm skin. You could feel the way his muscles contracted as you traced down your fingers over them, pulling playfully by the earrings on his left ear to get him to squirm and giggle because of it.

Your clit throbbed when his fingers digged over your clothed pussy "You aren't naked yet, and I can already tell how wet you are" his raspy voice teased you, while his fingers traced circles over your entrance.

"I haven't touched you directly, and I can tell how happy you're to see me by just doing this" you grinded your pelvis against his, feeling how hard and big he already was. "You're in no position to tease me about that".

"Get inside the tent".

You obeyed, taking your shoes off before you crawled inside the tent he settled earlier that afternoon. Before Jungkook could join you and tell you to get naked, most of your clothes were already gone, only having your underwear left. And when he joined you, he was also dressed with only his boxers, kicking his pants inside the text to crawl inside and close the zip.

It didn't take him long to kiss you again, with hunger and neediness, that you easily recognized because it was the way he kissed you whenever you were in that situation, moving his lips dominantly over yours while his tongue fought against yours.

The straps on your shoulders felt loose when he moved his hand through your back, moving the fabric away until it was blocked by your elbows on the flood, although it was just enough to expose your tits.

His tongue moved around your stiff button, almost as if he was preparing you for the moment he moved his flat tongue over it, sending an instant electricity through your spine. While one hand held your back, covering most of it, to keep you arched, his other hand reached to your mouth, moving his thumb in between your lips for you to suck it. He felt every rugosity as it got harder against his muscle, with his dick twitching in his boxers by the way you sucked on his finger.

"You're so beautiful, love" he admitted with a raspy voice, giving a peck in the middle of your breasts. "And you taste so good, too...".

Those last words were almost muffled with his lips enclosing around your nipple, moving his thumb away from your mouth so he could move it around the other one, just like he would have with his tongue, just to later pinch it at the same time his teeth bit on the other to get a loud gasp from you.

Suddenly the straps of your bra were a bother, keeping you stranded from touching him until you took it off completely. Your fingers sank in his hair again, making sure he wouldn't move away from that spot, while your other hand moved back his wide back with a soft caress that almost made him go insane.

Jungkook was too focused on the way you tasted, on the sounds you made, and the way your body squirmed under his, to notice the moment your hand moved to the front and digged in his boxers until your fingers wrapped around him.

The chilly air made you hum when he moved your panties aside, sliding two fingers through your slit until he found your entrance. He slid them into you slowly, until they were knuckles deep into your pussy. The steady in an out pace made your heart a little bit faster, and your mind clouded a little bit more, driving you crazy when he added a thumb on your clit, to tease you back by the way your fingers wrapped a little bit tighter around him whenever they reached his tip.

His fingers curled inside of you, tempting a spot that almost turned your spine into hot tar as he moved them up and down against that sensitive spongy spot, with your legs trembling the longer he went on it.

"Kook..." you tried to warn him.

"I know, babe. Cum on my fingers".

He said those words while his chin rested on your chest, admiring your face as he helped you be teared apart. Jungkook loved seeing how those lovely and innocent eyes went all lustful and dark when he did those things to you. He loved knowing he was the only one who could see you that way.

Your fingertips digged on his scalp, and your fingers set him free as your wrist twisted with the pleasure that ran over you, and took control over your body, when Jungkook awarded you with an orgasm.

You took a few seconds to get back at yourself, looking down at him with hooded eyes and a pleased smile, before you pulled him again for a kiss.

Your bodies moved almost at the same time, reading through each other as you sat on your knees to get rid of the remaining pieces of clothing to be fully naked.

Jungkook dragged you with him, sitting with his legs crossed, while his hands guided you to wrap yours around his body.

"Wait, the condom..." you reminded him, breaking the kiss.

"Fuck, I didn't bring any" he whined, throwing his head back.

"I didn't either" you puckered your lips, holding onto his shoulders. "It's alright" you shrugged, moving your hands up to his neck ", I'm on the pill".

"Alright" he purred, giving small kisses that never fully ended up with him sucking your lower lip.

One of his hands never left your body, always making sure you knew he was there for you, while the other lined himself up to your entrance.

You both moaned in sync when you helped him, lowering your hips slowly to take him in inch by inch, feeling him stretch you out and getting used to him while your walls wrapped around him perfectly.

One hand was supported on his thigh, while the other found some support around his shoulder and neck, finding the perfect stability to start moving the best you could in that position. He dedicated you one sweet smile before you felt attracted to his lips, feeling the need to kiss him even if it'd be interrupted every few seconds by your gasps and moans, or your sudden need to get more air.

"Are you comfortable like this?" he tried to make sure, rubbing his palm on your flexed thigh.

"Uh-hum" you nodded, too concentrated on the way his cock felt every time you dug it back in after lowering your hips.

"You're such a goddess" he caressed your cheek.

Jungkook was the type to do dirty talk whenever you had sex. He loved the blush on your cheeks, or your fucked out face whenever he said something that'd have you slapping his face in any other context. But he also loved showering you with love and praises when the mood asked for it. And that night he only wanted to worship your body, stare at you as you took him in and admire the way your lips parted whenever his tip rubbed over the right spot every few thrusts.

When you opened your eyes, you found him staring at you with that particular look he had given you many times before, making you smile almost instantly. You wrapped your arms around him, gluing your torsos together as you worked on him.

"I love you" he whispered against your lips, moving your locks away from your face. "I'm so in love with you" he repeated, almost as if he indeed wanted to leave it clear for you.

Your answer was interrupted by a sudden moan, before you tried to speak again "I love you, too" you let him know with a high-pitched voice, resting your forehead on his.

Your fingers dented on each other's skin, tried to get ready for the new wave of pleasure as your pulse started racing up and your breaths got heavier and more difficult with every move. There was desperation in his eyes as you looked into them, knowing your eyes were probably reflecting the right same thing with every move you made. His needy short moans almost made you lose yourself, delighting yourself with those sounds and knowing that was one of the few things you'd want to keep hearing for the rest of your life.

Both of your moans turned messier and cracked, while your fast and determined moves turned into arrhythmic and sloppy as all the hairs in your body raised with the new orgasm. And even though you could feel his cock twitching inside of you, spilling his seed, Jungkook held you close and tight, caressing you through the last few and slower moves until you stayed completely still on top of him.

The only things that could be heard in the tent were your shaky breaths, and the fabric of the bed beneath you wrinkling as Jungkook adopted a more relaxed position for his legs.

"Did I already say that I love you?" Jungkook inquired, looking up at you.

You didn't answer with words, but you did answer with a happy giggle and an intimate peck that quickly evolved into a deeper kiss.

The next afternoon, after eating lunch early on the beach, he drove you back home. Jungkook's hand rested on your thigh, while the other kept the wheel controlled, dedicating you a few looks every few minutes just to get to see you smile again.

"Are you sure you don't want to spend the night?" you asked, after Jungkook parked his car in front of your building.

"I'd love to" he assured you. "But I have a schedule tomorrow, and I don't want to wake you up earlier than needed. I'll send you a text when you wake up".

He always did.

Jungkook learned your habits the more time he spent with you. So even if he woke up earlier and you weren't together, his good morning message always showed up on your screen at the same time your alarm blasted to interrupt your sleep.

"Don't stay up too late" you asked him.

Although Jungkook gave you an accusing look, reminding you you were always the reason he stayed up later than what he planned first.

"I won't answer your tests after nine. This time I mean it" the threat you just threw at him was probably the biggest lie you had ever told him.

"You will, unless you want me to show up here five minutes later".

And he'd certainly be able to.

"You're so annoying" you scoffed, shaking your head.

"But you love me anyway".

Jungkook had been dying to say that sentence and for it to be true for a long few weeks already. And the fact that he was already able to say it with certainty that it was true made him proud, and you could tell by the way his voice sounded cheerful as he said it.

"I do. That's why I'm telling you to rest well" you repeated.

"I'll try my best" Jungkook assured you.

"Send me a text when you get home" you softly said, leaning over to kiss him.

"I will" Jungkook always did, but you liked reminding him.

After giving him one last peck, you got out of the car and walked to your house. Not without turning to him a few times to wave goodbye at him and manage to see his smile one last time before you close the door to your building behind you. 

Taglist: @ttanniett

[atlasofthestaars]

[MK X READER] New Era - Chapter .006

first part | previous part | next part

NOTE: Not sure if the beginning needs any warnings and what to label it? But it is a little more dreary than the rest of the story has been previously, so take note of that.

Originally was going to be a bit of a faster paced chapter, but I started writing in like, the complete opposite way, and I kinda liked where it went so I just rolled with it. So it’s a little bit slower of a chapter this time, but I hope the fluff makes up for it since it has moments with the champion squad.

Hopefully, according to my plans, we should only have a few more chapters left in the pre-outworld arc? I think about chapter 11 is where we will hop back to it with the mini tournament for Earthrealm’s champion, but that estimate may change depending on the ideas I have. I just want to make sure we have plenty of time with all the Earthrealm men before we head back into more of the plot.

Looks like Shang Tsung is part of the official love interest line up! This actually quite heavily affects the story, so hopefully you all will be pleased by how it turns out when that part rolls around! Reiko did not make the cut, sorry to all those who wanted him! He will get screentime, but the reader will have a different type of dynamic with him due to this. 

Also double whammy poll! While we have a lot of lovely men to fall for, someone asked about Kitana and Mileena! So here’s your time to let me know your thoughts on them! (Especially Mileena, because it WILL change whether I portray Mileena x Tanya in this fic or if Mileena is not with her so she can be romanceable).

I LIED I JUST REALIZED I CAN ONLY DO ONE POLL AT A TIME. KITANA WILL BE NEXT CHAPTER, THEN HAVIK WILL BE AFTER THAT.

FROM THE EYES OF ONE WHO HAS STRUGGLES RELAXING

Turns out, you struggle with forcing yourself to relax.

It was odd, you had been content before with a life of a simple routine. All you had to do before was train yourself and be at Liu Kang’s side as your duties, you could do whatever else you wished for the rest of the day. Most times that meant going on long walks and trying to decipher your memories. 

It was a routine you settled on after many had decided you needed no further routine training, and after a certain incident. Of course, you pushed yourself to train with others occasionally nowadays, but you were a student no longer.

It was a routine most were happy you had, for before that simple routine, you had found yourself often run ragged. You often went from place to place, too ambitious to train, too ambitious to strive for more. In between those training sessions, you found yourself often running around doing too many tasks that others had given you upon your request. You sometimes skipped meals, and sometimes cut hours of sleep to try and cram everything into your schedule.

It wasn’t like no one noticed the way you were slowly ruining yourself, they did, you just ignored their concerns. You waved it off, saying you were fine. You found yourself saying that line to Liu Kang the most, who always seemed to want to stop you.

It got so bad even Bi-Han had to sit you down and scold you for how exhausted you had become.

“Fool, don’t you know you’re inconveniencing everyone else when you destroy yourself like this!?” He had told you, pinning you with a harsh glare. He had slammed his hands on the desk, ice spreading from his hands onto the desk from his frustration. 

You had, of course, defended yourself in every which way back then. Who cares if you were tired? You had to get things done so others could relax. Why did he insinuate that you were a burden when clearly everyone else was benefitting from this? Those points and many more were tossed between you two, and that had caused a large argument between you two for a long time.

That grudge between you two carried for a while. You had been too stubborn to admit Bi-Han was right. How could you? That’d be admitting defeat.

And you loathed defeat.

Furthermore, that meant that you had to stop doing stuff for people. Certainly you could not stop your training, that would lead to you weakening. You had to get stronger! People were counting on you, and you had a feeling that you just had to get stronger, even without thinking of others. The tiny voice in your head was screaming that you had to.

And if you didn’t cut down on training, you had to stop doing tasks. And how could you tell someone that you couldn’t do something for them? The idea of the look of disappointment followed by a pitiful “it’s alright” scared you. You already promised so many people many things, you couldn’t just go around and tell them that you couldn’t all of a sudden.

You’d be a disappointment.

So you deluded yourself that you were doing the right thing, letting yourself get carried away. It was a harsh, dark part of your life. It was a part of your life you were not proud of. You pushed many people away. Kuai Liang, Tomas, Madam Bo, Master Kai…so many people that kept on telling you to end this foolish pursuit.

You didn’t listen.

You carried on with your destructive lifestyle, aiming to try and do anything and everything all at once. If you could do it all, everyone else would be happy, and that’s all you wanted. You lied often, saying that you were okay, and tried to cover it up with a weary smile

It wasn’t until you had collapsed during training and gone unconscious for nearly a day that Liu Kang stepped in.

“I have been a fool.” Liu Kang had murmured when you had awoken that day, You felt faint, nauseous, and so many things all at once. He had reached a hand to touch your forehead, eyebrows furrowed with worry. “I should have realized earlier that you had been running yourself into the ground, I should have trusted my own instincts and never let you go this far.” 

“I’m fine.” You had insisted, trying to sit up. The god had to force you down, which was easy in your weakened state. He had instructed you to take a break until you were better. “How long?” You had asked, your voice hoarse as you asked desperately, feeling the grip of fear at the idea of becoming useless for the people that meant so much for you.

“As long as it takes.” Liu Kang replied, with a tone of finality. Back then, those words were like a death sentence. Nowadays, you realized it had been a blessing in disguise. You try not to think of how long those days felt, constantly being shadowed by one of the Lin Kuei brothers or even Madam Bo. It was painful to think of, some days. But then again, it wasn’t all bad.

After all, that’s the main reason you had gotten closer with all of them. 

Kuai Liang had been helpful, giving you advice and being there at your aid any time you needed. He had been a good person to confide in, for he never shamed you for the worries you carried. He was a gentle flame, providing the warmth you did not know you needed in your life.

Tomas had been a welcoming presence, giving you laughs and joy in a situation where you struggled. He was much more playful than his brothers, and the dreary days were always made a bit bright with him around. He had been encouraging too in his own ways, telling you that being vulnerable was okay. You were okay.

The other two were a bit more harsh. Madam Bo had given you harsh lectures, but in a loving way. You could tell you had terrified her with your decline in health. Those days she had given you so much food you felt often full. You were happy though, her cooking really was the best. Eventually you had learned some cooking from her to pass the time.

You still had to learn how to perfect her recipes.

Bi-Han’s shadowing at first was easily the worst. Days that felt like were filled with tension, some days you felt like you could not breathe. Then, some other days it felt like you would rather be asleep with the rants he had given you, telling you on how you should have listened to him. Eventually, the frost around the situation melted, and the days went from tense and dreadful with him, to more comforting.

Eventually he became a person you learned the world through, as begrudging as it was, he answered your many questions. And when your questions ceased, the two of you could turn to occasional conversation, ones where you both were a little more open with each other, a bit more honest. Even the silences began to feel comforting.

Occasionally, Liu Kang would take over shadowing you. It wasn’t as common as the other four, but it happened often enough. At first, you were filled with guilt whenever you were around him. You had failed the fire god, but he had told you that you did no such thing.

“I have failed you, instead.”

It mystified you, but you chose not to question it. You weren’t certain what you’d do with the answers to the questions you had about that statement. You ended up developing most of your healthy habits with Liu Kang, falling into a simple routine. You ended up developing the habit of watching the sunrise with him during these times.

Days had blended into weeks, and weeks into months, and you slowly were allowed your responsibilities again. You had been allowed to train much earlier than your responsibilities so your body would not weaken, but the responsibilities felt much more significant.

Slowly, you were given room to breathe and develop your own routine. One that was…less rigorous, one that everyone agreed that was healthy and safe for you.

You guessed your inability to relax was still a remnant of the insatiable workaholic from back then. Your mind was filled once again with responsibilities, plans, and schedules. Training the champions, the tournament…so many big things to worry about.

You worried that you didn’t have time to do everything if you relaxed, and you knew how important these tasks that were ahead of you were.

It was almost instinct to dive into everything, try to take the burden of everyone and force it upon yourself.

You were really trying though, to relax. You couldn’t bear to see the concerned looks on their faces again.

“You know, you’re doing an awful job at taking a break.” Johnny pointed out as he pulled up next to you, snapping you out of your reverie. You watched with curiosity as he pulled out his phone. You had vague memories of technology from what you presumed to be your past life, but you haven’t really used it in this life.

“I’m just watching, is that so wrong?” You inquired, trying and failing to fend off the defensive side that tried to come out. You sent him a raised eyebrow, looking at him. He sent you the sassiest look, peering at you. 

“No.” He said, shrugging as he returned his attention back to his phone. “But I can see that calculating look in your eye, teach.” Johnny said, tapping the side of his head with his two fingers. “You’re not just idly watching, you’re thinking. That’s the same look my directors get when they’re reviewing a scene, and trust me, that’s anything but relaxing.”

You huffed, crossing your arms. As much as others thought otherwise, Johnny Cage was smart and observant.

“Plus, when people usually say they’re taking a break they’re usually off doing their, like, hobbies or something.” Johnny continued, pausing for a moment before looking back at you. “You do have hobbies right?”

“I refuse to elaborate.” You said after a few moments of contemplation. You really couldn’t think of anything that was a hobby of yours. Sure, you liked to cook, but that wasn’t a hobby you found yourself doing all too often outside of meal times. 

The only other thing you could think of that you did often was try and make sense of your memories. And that was something you could do for hours on end. But it was all too confusing, and it gave you a major headache. Aside from the fact that you didn’t exactly want to think of those memories right now, you had a feeling that also didn’t count as relaxing.

So your next best bet at doing something to relax was watching the students of the Wu Shi academy train.

Were you really that boring?

“You…don’t have hobbies?” Johnny asked, pulling a face that made you frown. “No wonder you’re struggling to relax.” He said, scratching the back of his neck. You had an urge to defend yourself, but you averted your eyes instead, knowing that trying to defend yourself was fruitless. You really didn’t have anything to defend yourself with in the first place.

“Living a life like mine leaves little time for hobbies.” You said, which was partially a lie. You had time, and lots of it before you were entrusted with training the four of them. So you certainly could have picked up some hobbies. 

But you never knew what to do. There weren’t many people in the Fire Temple who had hobbies you could indulge in, and it wasn’t like you were too close with them either. And, oddly enough, you were a bit embarrassed to ask the Lin Kuei brothers for any ideas on hobbies.

Plus, it was annoying trekking through the snow just to ask for something small like that.

“Okay, so hobbies are out of the question, got it.” Johnny said, before humming and looking up, contemplating over things. “Don’t you have anything else to do, like reading, or watching movies?” He suggested.

“I’ve read all the books they have in the Fire Temple, they’re pretty boring and not worth a reread.” You said, sighing as you remembered the lack of interesting literature. You’ve thought about asking Liu Kang for the chance to get better reading material, but you didn’t want to sound…rude. “And I’ve never watched a movie.”

That wasn’t totally true, you’ve probably watched a movie in your past life, but you’ve never done that in this life.

“You’ve never…what?” Johnny Cage said, seeming to be caught off guard by the confession. You’ve never seen such a look on his face before, one that was both shocked and almost…offended? You supposed it only made sense that he out of everyone reacted this way. Acting was his lifeblood. “You’re kidding me.”

“I’m not.” You said, raising your hands up trying to show no offense. You couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at the look Johnny was sending you. He was so,,,expressive. It was really entertaining. Is that why people liked watching him so much?

“We’ve got to right that wrong immediately.” Johnny said, a determined look on his face. He shoved his phone into his pocket. “We’re going to have a movie marathon. You get to relax and see a bunch of great movies, win-win.” The actor declared.

“A bunch of great movies, huh?” Kenshi said, approaching the two of you as he sheathed his sword. He looked between the two of you, sending a pointed look towards Johnny Cage. “I’m guessing you’re going to try and show our instructor a bunch of your movies, Cage?”

“You know it, tattoo.” Johnny confirmed with a self confident smirk. You nodded towards Kenshi, who acknowledged it back with a nod of his own. “Don’t look so prissy, you and the farmer boys are invited too if you want.” You glanced towards Kenshi, raising an eyebrow out of curiosity. 

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” Kenshi conceded, much to your surprise. “I get to help pick the movies, though. We’re not watching a marathon of the Ninja Priest movies, they’re all the same.” You watched as Johnny groaned, clearly disagreeing with the swordsman.

“Whatever, you just have bad taste.” The actor huffed, rolling his eyes. He took out a paper and pen from gods knew where, and tossed it towards Kenshi who sent him a puzzled look. “Go design whatever list you want, just know I’ll be blaming you if teach over here,” He gestured towards you, “thinks movies suck.” He stretched before pointing his thumb away from the courtyard. “Now I gotta bounce, gotta make arrangements to make this whole shebang work.” He turned towards you. “You go figure out how to relax, or whatever, meet here tomorrow night.”

And without much more explanation, the actor jogged off, leaving both you and Kenshi behind.

“What did I just get myself into?”

“I’m surprised you’ve never seen a movie.” Raiden commented after he and Kung Lao met you at the entrance of the Wu Shi academy. He and Kung Lao walked beside you as you traversed down the hall, dressed in more casual clothes as opposed to the uniforms they usually wore. With amusement, you noticed how they were not wearing the hats for once. The clothes they wore reminded you of the clothes they donned during the exams.

“In the Fire Temple, we don’t have much, if any, technology.” You explained, not elaborating much further. After all, it’d be hard to explain the whole ‘you might have watched one in a past life, but you barely remembered anything about it’ ordeal. “Johnny seemed very offended that I’ve never watched one, it was a sight to behold.”

“It makes sense, that is what he is known for.” Kung Lao pointed out, shrugging. 

“Have either of you seen Johnny Cage’s works?” You inquired, looking between the Fengjian men. You were a bit surprised that they knew about movies, knowing that they both hailed from a simple village. Then again, you supposed you were being hasty in assuming their area was as technology deprived as the Fire Temple was.

“A few.” Kung Lao answered, thinking a bit before grinning. “Their techniques were totally wrong, but they sure do know how to make something entertaining.” He admitted before cockily laughing and pressing a hand to his chest. “Of course, I think if I were there to help them, they would be much better.”

“I saw a few as well.” Raiden piped up, smiling towards you. “They were flashy, and like Kung Lao said, very inaccurate, but I actually enjoyed watching them.” He put on a thoughtful look. “I think you’ll like them too, as long as you look past the technicalities.”

“I hope so too.” You said, humming. “Otherwise this would be a rather bad introduction to movies.” You joked, knowing that you could probably look past the most egregious techniques. All you wanted was a chance to relax, and you hoped to the gods that this was going to work.

“Fret not, teach, I made sure to look through Ken-bro’s list.” Johnny said as he turned the corner, a grand grin on his face. “He chose a few decent ones, but I made sure to add the best of my works in there too.” In his arms he held a large of what you believed to be popcorn. You inhaled, and you felt a bit nostalgic for a reason you weren’t quite sure.

“I tried to keep the list decent, so don’t blame me if Cage ruined it.” Kenshi quipped as he also rounded the corner, holding another big bowl of popcorn. You looked between them, noting how this was the first time you’ve seen both Johnny and Kenshi were something more casual. It wasn’t too bad of a look.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” You said, grinning as you crossed your arms. The actor led all of you to a room you knew had not been previously used much. “You’ve all brought up my expectations, are films really that good?”

“Oh trust me, films can get good, especially action films I’ve been in.” Johnny cackled, and you stifled a laugh as you noticed how the group had all collectively rolled their eyes. He opened the door for you all. You marveled at the projector that had been set up, along with a basic couch that seemed big enough for you all to lounge on, more or less. “Hollywood magic will astound you, trust me.”

“I’m already astounded by all of this.” You admit, walking over to the projector. Seeing technology sent a wave of nostalgia through you, and you smiled. Something about this all brought a hazy vision of you and Johnny sitting in a room doing something similar to this, but there had been four other younger people with you instead.

How odd.

“Where did you get all of this?” Raiden asked, looking at the set up of the room. “I don’t think the monks normally have any of this stuff,” He observed as he made his way to the couch. “Well, maybe the couch makes sense.” He said, before sitting on it carefully.

“It’s a secret, my friend.” The actor replied, and you all sent him a look. He groaned and sighed. “You’re all no fun. I asked the big boss, Lord Liu Kang.” He said, shrugging as he also took his place on the couch, on the other end of the couch. “I explained how our instructor was struggling to relax and how I pitched a movie night to you. He seemed pleased by the idea, and was willing to give me all of this stuff.” 

You were surprised. Liu Kang was the one who helped Johnny out? The idea of it made you feel warm.

“Lord Liu Kang did all of this?” Kung Lao echoed your thoughts, nodding slowly as he looked around. He put on a face that told you he seemed to approve, and plopped down right next to Raiden. You found yourself not knowing where to sit, before Kenshi stepped beside you and tilted his head to indicate the spot where you should go.

Right between where he would go and Johnny Cage.

You supposed that wasn’t too bad. 

Taking the advice, you walked over to the spot he suggested and sat yourself carefully, making sure to leave room for Kenshi, while making sure you didn’t intrude on Johnny’s. 

“Popcorn?” Johnny offered, holding the bowl out to you. As he did so, you noticed as he turned on the movie, it starting the movie which seemed to be labeled “Ninja Mime”. Shrugging, you took a small handful, popping the food into your mouth.

This was going to be interesting, wasn’t it?

“Wow, that was…amazing.” 

“See! I told you, Hollywood magic.” Johnny Cage said, a satisfied smirk on his lips as he looked over to you. You rolled your eyes but nodded, conceding to the fact that you had honestly enjoyed seeing the film. It was goofy, wacky, and just the thing you needed.

“If you think that’s good, you should watch other types of movies.” Kung Lao piped up, before shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth. He had stolen the bowl from Kenshi shortly after the movie started, taking most of the buttery goodness for himself. You watched with silent amusement as Raiden sneakily stole a handful. “Comedies, romances, there’s more than just Johnny’s actions.”

“Why would anyone need to watch anything but my movies?” Johnny bragged, earning silence and stares from the group, mostly from Kenshi. He rolled his eyes. “Whatever, but other types of movies are for another night.” He said, waving off the silent complaints.

“We’ll have another night?” You inquired, peering at the actor with a curious look. He grinned and shrugged.

“As long as you let us, teach.” The American said, before gesturing to the projector. “First, we gotta go through the list we made first.” You watched as Johnny got up to set up the next movie. Kenshi leaned over, looking at you with a small smile.

“The next movie is going to be better, trust me.” The swordsman told you, a slight tone of playfulness in his voice. “I made sure to also introduce you to some of Cage’s better works.” You raised an eyebrow, surprised at the fact that the man was even a fan of Johnny’s works in the first place.

“I’ll be sure to hold my expectations high then.” You replied back. sending the man a small smile as you took yet another handful of popcorn. It was almost addicting to eat alongside the movie. “How many movies are we watching?” You asked, suddenly aware of the time that had passed as you spied the clock that hung on the wall.

An hour and a half passed? That movie felt like mere minutes!

“I believe we’re watching two more, including the next one.” Raiden informed you, leaning forward to look at you. “Johnny wanted to do a bigger marathon, but Kenshi and I advocated that we only do three since you haven’t watched many and we weren’t sure if you would like them all.”

“Next time, let Raiden and I pick some movies, too.” Kung Lao also mentioned, looking back to the actor who had just finished swapping the movies. 

“As long as your choices don’t suck.” Johnny said before plopping down next to you. He spread out, his thigh touching yours, but you didn’t quite mind. “Alright, buckle up, time to start the next one.” 

That night was the first time in a long time you remembered drifting off to sleep on accident. 

You felt something shift, and you were pulled out of the arms of sleep. Yawning, you covered your mouth as you looked around. The projector was running the last bits of a movie you had no recollection of. You blinked as you also registered how you were leaning on someone. 

Looking up, you were surprised to see Kenshi sleeping peacefully, allowing you to have rest on him. Or had he fallen asleep first? Your memory was hazy. Either way, you felt oddly embarrassed that you had fallen asleep during the event the men had created for you, but also grateful they had let you rest. You leaned forward, and you saw Kung Lao and Raiden who had also fallen asleep.

Oddly enough, Johnny was nowhere to be seen. 

Carefully moving so you did not disturb the sleeping men, you stood up, trying to catch your bearings. You looked up, noting the clock you had seen earlier. 

It was an hour before sunrise.

You stretched, letting out another yawn before you looked around once more. The popcorn bowls were gone, and the room seemed generally clean. You walked towards the door of the room, before it swung open to reveal Johnny Cage.

In his arms were blankets and some pillows. You blinked in surprise, and so did he before he let out a small chuckle.

“Finally woke up?” He asked, a slight teasing tone in his voice. “You know, you fell asleep during the best one.”

“Ah, I’m sorry.” You apologized, crossing your arms as you tried to cover up your embarrassment. It was odd, this type of thing never happened. It was weird to have slept so easily, and on accident. “I usually don’t fall asleep that easily, it’s odd.” 

“Nah, I’m just kidding. You actually stayed up to watch all of the movies we had planned, then you knocked out.” The actor informed you as he walked over to set down the blankets on the couch. “We just decided to make a bet of who could stay up the longest, and I won.” The man bragged smugly, “I was just getting some blankets and pillows for you, actually.” He explained, gesturing to the items he brought. “But judging how you’re awake now, you don’t need them.”

“I thank you for the pillows and blankets, but you’re right, I don’t need them now.” You said, chuckling. “I’ll be going back to the Fire Temple.” You informed him. You gestured to the others. “What about them?”

“Eh, I’ll just wake them up and send them back to their rooms.” Johnny said, shrugging. “So, what’d you think of movies? Still amazing, right?” He asked, confidence dripping from his tone. And while you were tempted to lie to knock down his ego, you knew better than that.

“They were all lovely.” You admitted, and paused for a few moments, staring at the projection as the credits scrolled by. “Thank you, Johnny. I really needed this.” You told him, a tone of sincerity in your voice. You were really grateful. “It was fun.”

“Anytime, wildstyle.” The actor brushed off your thanks with a wide grin. You raised an eyebrow at the new nickname, thinking it was probably linked to your shapeshifting powers. He had such an interesting imagination. “Just remember this when I talk to you next time about acting, yeah?” 

“I will.” You promised. You looked back at the sleeping men for another moment, taking note to thank them for also helping to make this wonderful night happen next time you saw them. “Goodnight, Johnny.” You said as you exited the room, and you heard with simple satisfaction as Johnny bid you goodnight too. 

Obnoxious as the actor could be sometimes, he had an honest heart.  You understood a bit more why Johnny was chosen to be a champion. You’d have to repay his kindness.

The air was crisp and cool, and as you made your way to the Fire Temple, you could not help but think back to the movies you had seen. What entertaining bits of work! You chuckled to yourself as you mentally commended Johnny on his acting too.

You’d never let him know that you actually thought he was an excellent actor, though.

As you crossed the bridge to the Fire Temple, you blinked in surprise as you saw Liu Kang idly waiting by, seeming to have expected you. You walked towards him, a bit uncertain whether he needed you urgently or not.

“How was your movie night?” The fire god asked, after greeting you with your name. You smiled. Ah, he was just curious about how it went. You went on to ramble about the movies you had seen, talking for a while about them and your newfound fascination with them. Liu Kang listened diligently, a warm smile on his face as he nodded and acknowledged your words. “I’m glad to hear it went well.”

Liu Kang was a good listener.

“Yeah, I think I really needed it.” You admitted, looking up to the sky which was losing its dark color, the beginnings of the sunrise appearing. You two stayed there in silence, basking in the comfortable atmosphere. “Thank you, by the way. I heard from Johnny that you helped get everything for him.” 

“It’s no issue.” The protector of Earthrealm told you warmly, looking at you with fondness. “I would do anything for you.”

The way Liu Kang said those words, there felt like there was a hint of something else within his words that made you feel warm, much like the fire he wielded.

“Thank you.” You said, not knowing how to follow up his heartfelt words. You looked up to the sky for a few more moments, before sighing. You felt oddly tired. “I’m going to go and sleep in today, I think.” You told the god, who simply nodded in return. He seemed to approve of your decision, if the smile on his face indicated anything. “Goodnight, Liu Kang.”

“Goodnight. Sleep well.”

part seven

[sky-the-trans-guy00]

Her PR Guy -Ch.1

hey everyone! I started this fic a really long time ago, and decided to re-write it for a different player! Let me know if you have any requests and/or feedback :)

Feel free to use this idea for a fic if you're interested; I have no problem with re-using ideas.

Disclaimer

I wrote this story with a trans male insert because I, myself, am a trans dude, and there hasn’t been a whole lot of content in this fandom for trans men.

Backstory

Y/N worked for an NWSL team post-grad, as a social media assistant and decided to hop across the pond to work for Arsenal WFC,  after being offered a job as their primary content creator and media person.

Y/N’s POV

I met Alessia while working in Arsenal’s Public Relations Department. I had just moved on from an entry-level position at Bay FC with little to no idea what type of world I was stepping into. Armed with a passion for sports and storytelling, my job was to run the social media accounts, and help craft stories that captivated fans and media members alike. What I didn’t realize at the time, is that my story would be worth telling someday, too.

It was my first media day working for Arsenal, and I was totally freaking out. I mean, this was my dream, one that I had fought tooth and nail for. I had never dared to imagine this possibility, but here I was, and I felt woefully unprepared.

Get it together (Y/N)! We worked so hard to get here, and we got this. The board believes in us, and so do I!! You wanted so badly to have a fresh start, and here it is.

I went over to the players and introduced myself, "Hey everyone, my name's (Y/N), my pronouns are he/him, and I'm your new PR guy." A lot of the players seemed stunned, probably because I'm a guy working for an WSL team, so I decided to clear some things up. “I’m also a proud trans man who knows that the future is female, especially in sports. I’ll be mainly working with the photographers and videographers to get content for our socials, but I’m here if you need anything.”

Alessia’s POV

After Y/N walked away I was still captivated.

“He’s a cute one,” said Leah.

“Definitely,” I replied emphatically.

“He could be just what the doctor ordered, with your recent breakup and everything,” added Lotte

“He’s easy on the eyes, that’s for sure,” Alessia responded while looking at you as you walked away from the team, ”Let’s just hope he isn’t too full of himself….”

Y/N’s POV

It’s been over a month since I introduced myself to the players, and I can’t get Alessia Russo out of my head. She’s been flirting with me since we met, but I can barely function in her presence, not to mention I literally work for the team. Before I can get too in my head about it, I get a call from my buddy Alex.

“Hey (Y/N/N)! How’s the new job going?”

“It’s going well,” I replied, “I think I have a crush on one of the players though…”

“I fail to see the problem bro,” said Alex.

“You are a hot eligible bachelor, and any girl would be lucky to have you. You even told me that two of the players are together, so workplace dating is obviously not a problem.”

“Yeah, but I’m not trying to deal with another Karen incident!” I exclaimed.

Karen was a close friend of mine in college who really fucked me over. I managed her campaign for Student Body President, and when she found out I had a crush on her she flipped out and cut me off, only after she won the election. She ignored me for weeks following her win, and when we finally spoke about what had happened, she told me she thought it was best that we ‘keep it professional.’ To add insult to injury, all of our mutual friends decided I wasn’t worth sticking around for. I tried to take the high road and didn’t tell anyone my side of things until it was too late and they had already taken her side.

“How long are you going to let Karen control your life? You can’t keep giving other people your power, bro.”

I knew that he wasn’t wrong, but I wasn’t ready to let go of the past.

“Yeah, but this girl is so out of my league it’s unbelievable. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure she has a girlfriend!”

“You sure about that Y/N?”

“Not entirely, but why would she date a loser like me when she has her pick of almost every queer athlete?”

Much to my chagrin, I was not athletic by any means, which was definitely an insecurity of mine. Deep down, I still felt like the sad, closeted, insecure kid with no friends from Middle and High School, despite all of my work in therapy.

“You may not be athletic, but you’re super kind and loyal as fuck. Trust me when I say that what you think you may lack in physical appearance pales in comparison to the type of person you are. You’re full of green flags— except for your inability to take a good selfie, which most people who know you happen to find endearing. Face it Y/N, the only thing that’s standing in your way is you. You control your own destiny, and you my friend are a catch; remember that.” Said Alex

“Thanks for hyping me up, my guy. I’m definitely going to talk to my therapist about this.” I said.

“As you should, Y/N! I’m here for you if you need anything, and I’m only one call away. You got this homie.”

I ended the call and reflected upon Alex’s advice.

Everything you want is in reach and ripe for the taking, you got this Y/N, I thought to myself.

[slapjacq]

Alright I’m hopping on my soapbox again

First and foremost this is not pointed at anyone. I’m not bitching and moaning, and if it comes off that way, I’m not trying to come off that way. I just wanted to vomit some words about something that a post I saw pointed out and the more I’ve thought about it, the more I see and agree with what it says.

We joke a lot about Arthur Lester being a pathetic wet cat of a man. And yes, at points he definitely is. But I feel like we kind of play off how much trauma this man just carries around like it’s a fanny pack.

This goes for a lot of other protagonists/characters I see being talked about in this manner btw. Like they all have such deep rooted issues due to the things they’ve experienced. And like at the end of the day, if anybody else went through even of the fraction of the hardships that these characters face, they’d be a fucking mess too. Probably even in an even worse state. The greatest thing about these characters are their capacity to endure and push forward, and I feel like that sort of sentiment gets pushed to the side. It’s a weird dichotomy of if we see them after they’ve endured, we’re more likely to think of them as tough, hardened individuals. But if we see them while they are enduring, the idea of them being as strong as they are is almost ignored in a way.

Which also feels like a reflection of some of us not being able to congratulate ourselves for pulling ourselves through our issues but hoo boy thats a different conversation altogether and is to be had between one and one’s therapist or trusted individual.

And again for clarification I’m not saying like “don’t joke about this 😤😫”. Sometimes we see ourselves in these characters and just joke about it (which there is nothing wrong with). When we are reminded of our issues and experiences, for some of us, our first responses is to make fun of it. I’m just as guilty of it as any other person. And idk, something about it just irks me in a type of way I can’t put my finger on. Idk food for thought.

Which leads me to say I love John Doe in Malevolent so, so, so, so, so much. He’s Arthur’s biggest fan, but like in the way a Chicagoan is a fan of their baseball teams.

(Edit: if there’s a bunch of grammatical errors, I’m aware and trying to scrub them best I can. I wrote this hungover and coming home from work at like midnight.)

[magicxc]

Holidays

Pairings: Survey Corps - their fave holidays

Word Count: 871

Warnings: none

A/N: I considered Japanese holidays for this bit but then laziness got the best of me. Like most pieces I create with these characters a lot of how I envision them will relate to western/modern culture in some way or another. Though they probably won't celebrate half of the holidays I'm about to list, I want to reiterate that this is my idea of the traits these characters possess and also they are not real. 

Headcannons Masterlist

Eren  - Christmas

Eren is big on family, especially the family he’s made with Armin and Mikasa. It’s clear that he stands ten toes down behind them and when he gets his own family, it’ll be much the same. I actually think having kids will bring out the fluff in Eren and he’ll be that obnoxious holiday parent that's doing the most with decorations and presents. But it's honestly the atmosphere that gets him going. The holiday cheer, the kindness, the emphasis on giving - he loves it all. 

Levi - New Years

The new year signals a new beginning but also the close to another chapter. Each time Levi makes it to a new year he’s thankful but mostly shocked. From life underground to humanity's biggest threat, he never knows when disaster might strike. But, when the clock strikes 12 it's a moment of relief, one where he can sit back and relish in the thought that he’s made it to another trip around the sun. 

Erwin - Fathers Day

Lmaoo I'm not tryna make Erwin sound egotistical at all, but I was also running out of popular holidays. The day the Scouts headed to their mission to plug wall Maria was the first time we saw them get a standing ovation and it was also the first time we saw Erwin express such vocal excitement. Even though he can come off a bit aloof, I thought it was fun to see him in that way. That being said I think he’d enjoy being celebrated and can even play up the wowwwws at the macaroni necklaces and handprint construction papers lol. He would love and take care of his family obvi but it’d also make him feel good to feel that admiration in return. 

Connie - Thanksgiving 

You feed this man and he’ll love you forever. It’s his favorite holiday because it has back to back benefits. There's tons of food, a four day weekend off from work, and the opportunity to spend time with his family. He’s the type to pitch in money but over the years Connie has been more inclined to learn how to cook and has even started bringing in a dish. He’s most excited to try a Friendsgiving as he considers them family as well. 

Jean - Valentines Day

I firmly believe that Jean is a romantic. I don't think he’d be the most creative at gift giving lol but it’s certainly the thought that counts. On valentines day he goes all out - teddy bears, flowers, chocolates, etc. ya know, the usual. Although his gifts are very on the nose and sometimes he needs to be spoon fed the information, what he lacks in creativity, he'll gain in experience; learning to step his game up as the years go by. Again, sweet guy. 

Onyankopon - Easter

He more so likes the spring break aspect of it. With the flowers blooming and the sun making regular appearances, it was usually the first sign to what summer would be like. Ony enjoys traveling, meeting new people, and experiencing different cultures. So although spring break was meant to party, which he did, Ony always made the time to immerse himself in the customs of whichever country he visited. Now as an adult, he still indulged in his version of spring break as he always enjoyed the mini relaxation that it brought about; thinking of it as his summer outside of summer. 

Reiner - Independence Day

Reiner is over the whole patriotic thing, however he can't help but enjoy the events that take place because of it. There’s literally a bbq happening on every corner so he’s for sure house hopping for a plate. There's all sorts of sales and Gabi is making him put that wallet to USE hunnie. And while he doesn’t mind, he more so enjoys their time spent together. There's also the beautiful fireworks that light up the evening sky. And at the end of the day he gets to spend his remaining time with family, gathered around over good food and even better vibes. 

Armin - Mothers Day

Armin is def the type to dote on his wife. Hard day at work? He’s rubbing the stress out of your shoulders. Hungry? He’s cooking and prepping lunch for the week. Overwhelmed at work? He’s booking you a spa day. Armin literally adores his woman and enjoys any chance he has to celebrate her and Mothers Day is no exception. Expect him and the kiddies to hand make you some arts and crafts, cook you breakfast, and plan the holiday around your desired interests; with him making sure, at the end of the day, to show you why you celebrate the holiday in the first place. 

Floch - Halloween

He’s big on the spooky vibe but not to a concerning extent. Like many others he just enjoys the activities surrounding it. This is actually where Floch flourishes in creativity and fun. He’s making spooky themed treats, decorating to upstage the next door neighbor, and enjoying all the movie classics. Let's not even get started on the lengths he’ll go through to make the most life-like costumes and the parties where he shows it all off?? Top mf notch! Bonus points for getting some action at said parties.

[wanderingmoonflower]

a while back i made a post talking about how bede and marnie are perfect examples of foil characters (and also apparently that they were intrinsic??? i dunno where past me was going with that) but i think it's time i finally got around to actually talking about my ideas

tbh, i have no idea where to start, but initially i first came across this train of thought because i was poking fun at how they wore their gym uniforms completely opposite to each other, with bede being completely covered and wearing layers, while marnie shows a bit of skin and also isn't layered. while the layers thing doesn't apply to their regular outfits, bede is still completely covered, and marnie shows more skin than him

i think the best way to understand what i'm trying to say is to also consider their backgrounds too. despite the lack of parents (which is a common thing in pokemon anyway), bede didn't actually have anyone to support him until opal came along, whereas marnie had her brother, and then team yell later on. bede didn't have that. his league card even says that his parents ran into trouble and he didn't get along with the others. he essentially felt like rose changed his life. there's also the fact that bede most likely lived somewhere nicer than spikemuth if he stayed with rose, and ofc, spikemuth is dilapidated, has a shutter to close people out, and doesn't have a power spot

i think another thing might be because bede doesn't understand unconditional love. marnie understands that, as she's had people around her who love and care for her, but bede only knew that he had to work to get rose's affection, and that's when he ended up going to far. opal, despite her harsh training, would be able to teach him about unconditional love

i've also mentioned this to some friends, but marnie, hop, and the protagonist (whether it's victor or gloria) would be able to teach him about unconditional love too. i like drawing comparison to marnie in particular because they have that similarity of being the successor to another gym leader, so it's easy to make the association in your head, although you could probably make most of these points for hop as well

speaking of them being gym leaders, they (essentially) use opposite types to each other, and even their gmax pokemon are considered counterparts. it also their reasoning for joining the gym challenge is similar intially, but ends up differing when you look a little closer. they both joined for recognition but bede' wanted recognition from rose, and marnie rwanted recognition for spikemuth

i also like how marnie, despite her blank expression, is still a little playful, and very in touch with how she feels. bede on the other hand puts up all these theatrics and overall seems just kinda,,, bitter?

and also, slightly unrelated, but bede is pink/white and marnie is pink/black. i also am obsessed with the fact that the BUMP OF CHICKEN music video shows Bede all alone and then IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWS UP WITH MARNIE SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE. cruel. i'm obsessed with it

i'm sorry the post is so long. it got away from me a little bit. i still feel like i had a lot more to say, but take this image to end it out <3 i love bede and marnie a whole lot and i hope you understand where i'm coming from

[shuxiii]

Everyday

Hanni Pham x reader pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5, pt6, pt7, pt8, pt9, pt10, pt11, pt12, pt13, pt14, pt15, pt16, pt17, pt18

A/n this is based on the novel book "every day" by David Levithan saur credits to him I tots recommend reading the novel itself it's so damn goodies bro like gosh golly lawrd.

synopsis: You, someone who wakes up in a different body every day to live a different life. You spend your days inhabiting a new body and pretending to be the person without changing their personality or life. 

TW: profanities

Day 5994

I wake up.

Immediately I have to figure out who I am. It’s not just

the body—opening my eyes and discovering whether the skin on my arm is light or dark, whether my hair is long or short, whether I’m fat or thin, boy or girl, scarred or smooth. The body is the easiest thing to adjust to if you’re used to waking up in a new one each morning. It’s the life, the context of the body, that can be hard to grasp. Every day I am someone else. I am myself—I know I am myself—but I am also someone else.

It has always been like this. The information is there. I wake up, open my eyes, and understand that it is a new morning, a new place. The biography kicks in, a welcome gift from the not‑me part of the mind. Today I am Kim Minji. Somehow I know this—my name is Minji—and at the same time I know that I’m not really Minji, I’m only borrowing her life for a day. I look around and know that this is her room.

This is her home. The alarm will go off in seven minutes.

I’m never the same person twice, but I’ve certainly been

this type before. Clothes everywhere. Far more video games

than books. Sleeps in her shorts. From the taste of her mouth, a smoker. But not so addicted that she needs one as soon as she wakes up.

“Good morning, Minji,” I say. Checking out her voice. Low. The voice in my head is always different.

Minji doesn’t take care of herself. Her scalp itches. Her eyes don’t want to open. She hasn’t gotten much sleep. Already I know I’m not going to like today. It’s hard being in the body of someone you don’t like, because you still have to respect it. I’ve harmed people’s lives in the past, and I’ve found that every time I slip up, it haunts me.

So I try to be careful. From what I can tell, every person I inhabit is the same age as me. I don’t hop from being nineteen to being ninety. Right now, it’s only nineteen. I don’t know how this works. Or why. I stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago. I’m never going to figure it out, any more than a normal person will figure out his or her own existence. After a while, you have to be at peace with the fact that you simply are. There is no way to know why. You can have theories, but there will never be proof.

I can access facts, not feelings. I know this is Minji’s room, but I have no idea if she likes it or not. Does she want to kill her parents in the next room? Or would she be lost without her mother coming in to make sure she’s awake? It’s impossible to tell. It’s as if that part of me replaces the same part of whatever person I’m in. And while I’m glad to be thinking like myself, a hint every now and then of how the other person thinks would be helpful.

We all contain mysteries, especially when Seen from the inside. The alarm goes off. I reach for a shirt and some jeans, but something lets me see that it’s the same shirt she wore yesterday. I pick a different shirt. I take the clothes with me to the bathroom and dress after showering. Her parents are in the kitchen now. They have no idea that anything is different.

Nineteen years is a lot of time to practice. I don’t usually make mistakes. Not anymore. I read her parents easily: Minji doesn’t talk to them much in the morning, so I don’t have to talk to them. I have grown accustomed to sensing expectations in others, or the lack of them. I shovel down some cereal, leave the bowl in the sink without washing it, grab Minji’s keys, and go.

Yesterday I was a girl in a town I’d guess to be two hours away. The day before, I was a boy in a town three hours farther than that. I am already forgetting their details. I have to, or else I will never remember who I really am.

Minji listens to loud and obnoxious music on a loud and obnoxious station where loud and obnoxious DJs make loud and obnoxious jokes as a way of getting through the morning. This is all I need to know about Minji, really. I access her memory to show me the way to school, which parking space to take, and which locker to go to. The combination. The names of the people she knows in the halls.

Sometimes I can’t go through these motions. I can’t bring myself to go to school and maneuver through the day. I’ll say I’m sick, stay in bed, and read a few books. But even that gets tiresome after a while, and I find myself up for the challenge of a new school, and new friends. For a day.

As I take Minji’s books out of her locker, I can feel someone

hovering on the periphery. I turn, and the girl standing there Is transparent in her emotions—tentative and expectant, nervous and adoring. I don’t have to access Minji to know that this is her girlfriend. No one else would have this reaction to her, so unsteady in her presence. She’s pretty, but she doesn’t see it. She’s hiding behind her hair, happy to see me and unhappy to see me at the same time.

Her name is Hanni. And for a moment—just the slightest beat—I think that, yes, this is the right name for her. I don’t know why. I don’t know her. But it feels right.

This is not Minji’s thought. It’s mine. I try to ignore it. I’m not the person she wants to talk to.

“Hey,” I say, keeping it casual.

“Hey,” she murmurs back.

She’s looking at the floor, at her inked‑in Converse. She’s drawn cities there, skylines around the soles. Something’s happened between her and Minji, and I don’t know what it is. It’s probably not something that Minji even recognized at the time.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

I see the surprise on her face, even as she tries to cover it. This is not something that Minji normally asks. And the strange thing is: I want to know the answer. The fact that she wouldn’t care makes me want it more.

“Sure,” she says, not sounding sure at all.

I find it hard to look at her. I know from experience that beneath every peripheral girl is a central truth. She’s hiding hers away, but at the same time, she wants me to see it. That is, she wants Minji to see it. And it’s there, just out of my reach. A sound waiting to be a word.

She is so lost in her sadness that she has no idea how visible it is. I think I understand her—for a moment, I presume to understand her—but then, from within this sadness, she surprises me with a brief flash of determination. Bravery, even. Shifting her gaze away from the floor, her eyes matching mine,

she asks, “Are you mad at me?”

I can’t think of any reason to be mad at her. If anything, I am mad at Minji, for making her feel so diminished. It’s there in her body language. When she is around her, she makes herself small.

“No,” I say. “I’m not mad at you at all.”

I tell her what she wants to hear, but she doesn’t trust it. I feed her the right words, but she suspects they’re threaded with hooks.

This is not my problem; I know that. I am here for one day. I cannot solve anyone’s girlfriend problems. I should not change anyone’s life.

I turn away from her, get my books out, and close the locker.

She stays in the same spot, anchored by the profound, desperate loneliness of a bad relationship.

“Do you still want to get lunch today?” she asks.

The easy thing would be to say no. I often do this: sense the other person’s life drawing me in and run in the other direction. But there’s something about her—the cities on her shoes, the flash of bravery, the unnecessary sadness—that makes me want to know what the word will be when it stops being a sound.

I have spent years meeting people without ever knowing them, and on this morning, in this place, with this girl, I feel the faintest pull of wanting to know. And in a moment of either weakness or bravery on my own part, I decide to follow it. I decided to find out more.

“Absolutely,” I say. “Lunch would be great.”

Again, I read her: What I’ve said is too enthusiastic. Minji is never enthusiastic.

“No big deal,” I add.

She’s relieved. Or, at least, as relieved as she’ll allow herself to be, which is a very guarded form of relief. By accessing, I know she and Minji have been together for over a year.

That’s as specific as it gets. Minji doesn’t remember the exact date.

She reaches out and takes my hand. I am surprised by how good this feels.

“I’m glad you’re not mad at me,” she says. “I just want everything to be okay.”

I nod. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: We all want everything to be okay. We don’t even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough.

The first bell rings.

“I’ll see you later,” I say. Such a basic promise. But to Hanni, it means the world.

...

At first, it was hard to go through each day without making any lasting connections, leaving any life-​­changing effects. When I was younger, I craved friendship and closeness. I would make bonds without acknowledging how quickly and permanently they would break. I took other people’s lives personally. I felt their friends could be my friends, and their parents could be my parents. But after a while, I had to stop. It was too heartbreaking to live with so many separations.

I am a drifter, and as lonely as that can be, it is also remarkably freeing. I will never define myself in terms of anyone else. I will never feel the pressure of peers or the burden of parental expectations. I can view everyone as pieces of a whole, and focus on the whole, not the pieces. I have learned how to observe, far better than most people observe. I am not blinded by the past or motivated by the future. I focus on the present because that is where I am destined to live.

I learn. Sometimes I am taught something I have already been taught in dozens of other classrooms. Sometimes I am taught something completely new. I have to access the body, access the mind and see what information it’s retained. And when I do, I learn. Knowledge is the only thing I take with me when I go.

I know so many things that Minji doesn’t know, that she will never know. I sit there in her math class, open her notebook, and write down phrases she has never heard. Shakespeare and Kerouac and Dickinson. Tomorrow, or someday after tomorrow, or never, she will see these words in her own handwriting and she won’t have any idea where they came from, or even what they are.

That is as much interference as I allow myself. Everything else must be done cleanly. Hanni stays with me. Her details. Flickers from Minji’s memories. Small things, like the way her hair falls, the way she bites her fingernails, the determination and resignation in her voice. Random things. I see her dancing with Minji’s grandfather, because he’s said he wants a dance with a pretty girl. I see her covering her eyes during a scary movie, peering between her fingers, and enjoying her fright. These are the good memories. I don’t look at any others.

I only see her once in the morning, a brief passing in the halls between first and second period. I find myself smiling when she comes near, and she smiles back. It’s as simple as that. Simple and complicated, as most true things are. I find myself looking for her after second period, and then again after third and fourth. I don’t even feel in control of this. I want to see her. Simple. Complicated.

By the time we get to lunch, I am exhausted. Minji’s body is worn down from too little sleep and I, inside of it, am worn down from restlessness and too much thought.

I wait for her at Minji’s locker. The first bell rings. The second bell rings. No Hanni. Maybe I was supposed to meet her somewhere else. Maybe Minji’s forgotten where they always meet.

If that’s the case, she’s used to Minji forgetting. She finds me right when I’m about to give up. The halls are nearly empty, the cattle call has passed. She comes closer than she did before.

“Hey,” I say.

“Hey,” she says.

She is looking to me. Minji is the one who makes the first move. Minji is the one who figures things out. Minji is the one who says what they’re going to do.

It depresses me. I have seen this too many times before. The unwarranted devotion. Putting up with the fear of being with the wrong person because you can’t deal with the fear of being alone. The hope tinged with doubt, and the doubt tinged with hope. Every time I see these feelings in someone else’s face, it weighs me down. And there’s something in Hanni’s face that’s more than just the disappointments. There is a gentleness there. A gentleness that Minji will never, ever appreciate. I see it right away, but nobody else does.

I take all my books and put them in the locker. I walk over to her and put my hand lightly on her arm. I have no idea what I’m doing. I only know that I’m doing it.

“Let’s go somewhere,” I say. “Where do you want to go?” I am close enough now to see that her eyes are brown. I am close enough now to see that nobody ever gets close enough to see how brown her eyes are.

“I don’t know,” she replies.

I take her hand.

“Come on,” I tell her.

This is no longer restlessness—it’s recklessness. At first, we’re walking hand in hand. Then we’re running hand in hand. That giddy rush of keeping up with one another, of zooming through the school, reducing everything that’s not us into an inconsequential blur. We are laughing, we are playful.

We leave her books in her locker and move out of the building, into the air, the real air, the sunshine and the trees and the less burdensome world. I am breaking the rules as I leave the school. I am breaking the rules as we get into Minji’s car. I am breaking the rules as I turn the key in the ignition.

“Where do you want to go?” I ask again. “Tell me, truly, where you’d love to go.”

I don’t initially realize how much hinges on her answer. If she says, Let’s go to the mall, I will disconnect. If she says, Take me back to your house, I will disconnect. If she says, Actually, I don’t want to miss sixth period, I will disconnect. And I should disconnect. I should not be doing this.

But she says, “I want to go to the ocean. I want you to take me to the ocean.”

And I feel myself connecting.

It takes us an hour to get there. It’s late September in Maryland. The leaves haven’t begun to change, but you can tell they’re starting to think about it. The greens are muted, and faded. Color is right around the corner.

I give Hanni control of the radio. She’s surprised by this, but I don’t care. I’ve had enough of the loud and the obnoxious, and I sense that she’s had enough of it, too. She brings melody to the car. A song comes on that I know, and I sing along.

And if I only could, I’d make a deal with God...Now Hanni goes from surprised to suspicious. Minji never sings along.

“What’s gotten into you?” she asks.

“Music,” I tell her.

“Ha.”

“No, really.”

She looks at me for a long time. Then smiles.

“In that case,” she says, flipping the dial to find the next song.

Soon we are singing at the top of our lungs. A pop song that’s as substantial as a balloon, but lifts us in the same way when we sing it.

It’s as if time itself relaxes around us. She stops thinking about how unusual it is. She lets herself be a part of it.

I want to give her a good day. Just one good day. I have wandered for so long without any sense of purpose, and now this ephemeral purpose has been given to me—it feels like it has been given to me. I only have a day to give—so why can’t it be a good one? Why can’t it be a shared one? Why can’t I take the music of the moment and see how long it can last?

The rules are erasable. I can take this. I can give this.

When the song is over, she rolls down her window and trails her hand in the air, introducing a new music into the car.

I roll down all the other windows and drive faster, so the wind takes over, blows our hair all around, and makes it seem like the car has disappeared and we are the velocity, we are the speed.

Then another good song comes on and I enclose us again, this time taking her hand. I drive like that for miles, and ask her questions. Like how her parents are doing. What it’s like now that her sister’s off at college. If she thinks school is different at all this year.

It’s hard for her. Every single answer starts with the phrase I don’t know. But most of the time she does know, if I give her the time and the space in which to answer. Her mother means well; her father less so. Her sister isn’t calling home, but Hanni can understand that. School is school—she wants it to be over, but she’s afraid of it being over, because then she’ll have to figure out what comes next.

She asks me what I think, and I tell her, “Honestly, I’m just trying to live day to day.”

It isn’t enough, but it’s something. We watch the trees, the sky, the signs, the road. We sense each other. The world, right now, is only us. We continue to sing along. And we sing with the same abandon, not worrying too much if our voices hit the right notes or the right words. We look at each other while we’re singing; these aren’t two solos, this is a duet that isn’t taking itself at all seriously.

It is its own form of conversation—you can learn a lot about people from the stories they tell, but you can also know them from the way they sing along, whether they like the windows up or down, if they live by the map or by the world, if they feel the pull of the ocean.

She tells me where to drive. Off the highway. The empty back roads. This isn’t summer; this isn’t a weekend. It’s the middle of a Monday, and nobody but us is going to the beach.

“I should be in English class,” Hanni says.

“I should be in bio,” I say, accessing Minji’s schedule.

We keep going. When I first saw her, she seemed to be balancing on edges and points. Now the ground is more even, welcoming.

I know this is dangerous. Minji is not good to her. I recognize that. If I access the bad memories, I see tears, fights, and remnants of passable togetherness. She is always there for her, and she must like that. Her friends like her, and she must like that, too.

But that’s not the same as love. She has been hanging on to the hope of her for so long that she doesn’t realize there isn’t anything left to hope for. They don’t have silence together; they have noise.

Mostly her. If I tried, I could go deep into their arguments. I could track down whatever shards she’s collected from all the times she’s destroyed her. If I were really Minji, I would find something wrong with her. Right now. Tell her. Yell. Bring her down. Put her in her place. But I can’t. I’m not Minji. Even if she doesn’t know it.

“Let’s just enjoy ourselves,” I say.

“Okay,” she replies. “I like that. I spend so much time thinking about running away—it’s nice to actually do it. For a day. It’s good to be on the other side of the window. I don’t do this enough.”

There are so many things inside of her that I want to know. And at the same time, with every word we speak, I feel there may be something inside of her that I already know. When I get there, we will recognize each other. We will have that.

I park the car and we head to the ocean. We take off our shoes and leave them under our seats. When we get to the sand, I lean over to roll up my jeans. While I do, Hanni runs ahead. When I look back up, she is spinning around the beach, kicking up sand, calling my name. Everything, at that moment, is lightness. She is so joyful, I can’t help but stop for a second and watch. Witness. Tell myself to remember.

“C’mon!” she cries. “Get over here!”

I’m not who you think I am, I want to tell her. But there’s no way. Of course, there’s no way.

We have the beach to ourselves, the ocean to ourselves. I have her to myself. She has me to herself.

There is a part of childhood that is childish, and a part that is sacred. Suddenly we are touching the sacred part—running to the shoreline, feeling the first cold burst of water on our ankles, reaching into the tide to catch at shells before they ebb away from our fingers.

We have returned to a world that is capable of glistening, and we are wading deeper within it. We stretch our arms wide as if we are embracing the wind. She splashes me mischievously and I mount a counterattack. Our pants, our shirts get wet, but we don’t care.

She asks me to help her build a sand castle, and as I do, she tells me about how she and her sister would never work on sand castles together—it was always a competition, with her sister going for the highest possible mountains while Hanni paid attention to detail, wanting each castle to be the dollhouse she was never allowed to have. I see echoes of this detail now as she makes turrets bloom from her cupped hands.

I myself have no memories of sand castles, but there must be some sense memory attached, because I feel I know how to do this, how to shape this.

When we are done, we walk back down to the water to wash off our hands. I look back and see the way our footsteps intermingle to form a single path.

“What is it?” she asks, seeing me glance backward, seeing something in my expression.

How can I explain this? The only way I know is to say

“Thank you.”

She looks at me as if she’s never heard the phrase before.

“For what?” she asks.

“For this,” I say. “For all of it.”

This escape. The water. The waves. Her. It feels like we’ve stepped outside of time. Even though there is no such place.

There’s still a part of her that’s waiting for the twist, the moment when all of this pleasure will jackknife into pain.

“It’s okay,” I tell her. “It’s okay to be happy.”

The tears come to her eyes. I take her in my arms. It’s the wrong thing to do. But it’s the right thing to do. I have to listen to my own words. Happiness is so rarely a part of my vocabulary, because for me it’s so fleeting.

“I’m happy,” she says. “Really, I am.”

Minji would be laughing at her. Minji would be pushing her down into the sand, to do whatever she wanted to do. Minji would never have come here.

I am tired of not feeling. I am tired of not connecting. I want to be here with her. I want to be the one who lives up to her hopes, if only for the time I’m given.

The ocean makes its music; the wind does its dance. We hold on. At first we hold on to one another, but then it starts to feel like we are holding on to something even bigger than that. Greater.

“What’s happening?” Hanni asks.

“Shhh,” I say. “Don’t question it.”

She kisses me. I have not kissed anyone in years. I have not allowed myself to kiss anyone for years. Her lips are soft as flower petals, but with an intensity behind them. I take it slow, let each moment pour into the next. Feel her skin, her breath.

Taste the condensation of our contact, linger in the heat of it.

Her eyes are closed and mine are open. I want to remember this as more than a single sensation. I want to remember this whole.

We do nothing more than kiss. We do nothing less than kiss. At times, she moves to take it further, but I don’t need that. I trace her shoulders as she traces my back. I kiss her neck. She kisses beneath my ear. The times we stop, we smile at each other. Giddy disbelief, giddy belief. She should be in English class. I should be in bio. We weren’t supposed to come anywhere near the ocean today. We have defied the day as it was set out for us.

We walk hand in hand down the beach as the sun dips in the sky. I am not thinking about the past. I am not thinking about the future. I am full of such gratitude for the sun, the water, the way my feet sink into the sand, the way my hand feels holding hers.

“We should do this every Monday,” she says. “And Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. And Friday.”

“We’d only get tired of it,” I tell her. “It’s best to have it just once.”

“Never again?” She doesn’t like the sound of that.

“Well, never say never.”

“I’d never say never,” she tells me.

There are a few more people on the beach now, mostly older men and women taking an afternoon walk. They nod to us as we pass, and sometimes they say hello. We nod back, return their hellos. Nobody questions why we’re here. Nobody questions anything. We’re just a part of the moment, like everything else.

The sun falls farther. The temperature drops alongside it.

Hanni shivers, so I stop holding her hand and put my arm around her. She suggests we go back to the car and get the “make-​­out blanket” from the trunk. We find it there, buried under empty beer bottles, twisted jumper cables, and other crap. I wonder how often Hanni and Minji have used the make-​­out blanket for that purpose, but I don’t try to access the memories.

Instead, I bring the blanket back out onto the beach and put it down for both of us. I lie down and face the sky, and Hanni lies down next to me and does the same.

We stare at the clouds, breathing distance from one another, taking it all in.

“This has to be one of the best days ever,” Hanni says. Without turning my head, I find her hand with my hand.

“Tell me about some of the other days like this,” I ask.

“I don’t know...”

“Just one. The first one that comes to mind.”

Hanni thinks about it for a second. Then she shakes her head. “It’s stupid.”

“Tell me.”

She turns to me and moves her hand to my chest. Makes lazy circles there. “For some reason, the first thing that comes to mind is this mother-​­daughter fashion show. Do you promise you won’t laugh?”

I promise.

She studies me. Makes sure I’m sincere. Continues.

“It was in fourth grade or something. Eric’s was doing a fundraiser for hurricane victims, and they asked for volunteers from our class. I didn’t ask my mother or anything—I just signed up. And when I brought the information home—well, you know how my mom is. She was terrified. It’s hard enough to get her out to the supermarket. But a fashion show? In front of strangers? I might as well have asked her to pose for Playboy. God, now there’s a scary thought.”

Her hand is now resting on my chest. She’s looking off to the sky.

“But here’s the thing: she didn’t say no. I guess it’s only now that I realize what I put her through. She didn’t make me go to the teacher and take it back. No, when the day came, we drove over to Eric’s and went where they told us to go. I had thought they would put us in matching outfits, but it wasn’t like that. Instead, they basically told us we could wear whatever we wanted from the store. So there we were, trying all these things on. I went for the gowns, of course—I was so much more of a girl then. I ended up with this light blue dress with ruffles all over the place. I thought it was so sophisticated.”

“I’m sure it was classy,” I say.

She hits me. “Shut up. Let me tell my story.”

I hold her hand on my chest. Lean over and kiss her quickly.

“Go ahead,” I say. I am loving this. I never have people tell me their stories. I usually have to figure them out myself.

Because I know that if people tell me stories, they will expect them to be remembered. And I cannot guarantee that. There is no way to know if the stories stay after I’m gone. And how

devastating would it be to confide in someone and have the confidence disappear? I don’t want to be responsible for that.

But with Hanni I can’t resist.

She continues. “So I had my wanna-be prom dress. And then it was Mom’s turn. She surprised me, because she went for the dresses, too. I’d never really seen her all dressed up before. And I think that was the most amazing thing to me: It wasn’t me who was Cinderella. It was her. “After we picked out our clothes, they put makeup on us and everything. I thought Mom was going to flip, but she was actually enjoying it. They didn’t really do much with her—just a little more color. And that was all it took. She was pretty. I know it’s hard to believe, knowing her now. But that day, she was like a movie star. All the other moms were complimenting her. And when it was time for the actual show, we paraded out there and people applauded. Mom and I were both smiling, and it was real, you know?

“We didn’t get to keep the dresses or anything. But I remember on the ride home, Mom kept saying how great I was. When we got back to our house, Dad looked at us like we were aliens, but the cool thing is, he decided to play along. Instead of getting all weird, he kept calling us his supermodels, and asked us to do the show for him in our living room, which we did. We were laughing so much. And that was it. The day ended. I’m not sure Mom’s worn makeup since. And it’s not like I turned out to be a supermodel. But that day reminds me of this one. Because it was a break from everything, wasn’t it?”

“It sounds like it,” I tell her.

“I can’t believe I just told you that.”

“Why?”

“Because. I don’t know. It just sounds so silly.”

“No, it sounds like a good day.

“How about you?” she asks.

“I was never in a mother-​­daughter fashion show,” I joke.

Even though, as a matter of fact, I’ve been in a few.

She hits me lightly on the shoulder. “No. Tell me about another day like this one.”

I access Hanni and find out she moved to town when he was twelve. So anything before that is fair game, because Hanni won’t have been there. I could try to find one of Minji’s memories to share, but I don’t want to do that. I want to give Hanni something of my own.

“There was this one day when I was eleven.” I try to remember the name of the boy whose body I was in, but it’s lost to me. “I was playing hide-​­and-​­seek with my friends. I mean, the brutal, tackle kind of hide-​­and-​­seek. We were in the woods, and for some reason I decided that what I had to do was climb a tree. I don’t think I’d ever climbed a tree before. But I found one with some low branches and just started moving. Up and up. It was as natural as walking. In my memory, that tree was hundreds of feet tall. Thousands. At some point, I crossed the tree line. I was still climbing, but there weren’t any other trees around. I was all by myself, clinging to the trunk of this tree, a long way from the ground.”

I can see shimmers of it now. The height. The town below me.

“It was magical,” I say. “There’s no other word to describe it. I could hear my friends yelling as they were caught, as the game played out. But I was in a completely different place.

I was seeing the world from above, which is an extraordinary thing when it happens for the first time. I’d never flown in a plane. I’m not even sure I’d been in a tall building. So there I was, hovering above everything I knew. I had made it somewhere special, and I’d gotten there all on my own. Nobody had given it to me. Nobody had told me to do it. I’d climbed and climbed and climbed, and this was my reward. To watch over the world, and to be alone with myself. That, I found, was what I needed.”

Hanni leans into me. “That’s amazing,” she whispers.

“Yeah, it was.”

“And it was in Minnesota?”

In truth, it was in North Carolina. But I access Minji and find that, yes, for her it would’ve been Minnesota. So I nod.

“You want to know another day like this one?” Hanni asks, curling closer. I adjust my arm, making us both comfortable. “Sure.”

“Our second date.”

But this is only our first, I think. Ridiculously.

“Really?” I ask.

“Remember?”

I check to see if Minji remembers their second date. She doesn’t.

“Dack’s party?” she prompts.

Still nothing.

“Yeah...,” I hedge.

“I don’t know—maybe it doesn’t count as a date. But it was the second time we hooked up. And, I don’t know, you were just so . . . sweet about it. Don’t get mad, alright?”

I wonder where this is going.

“I promise, nothing could make me mad right now,” I tell her. I even cross my heart to prove it.

She smiles. “Okay. Well, lately—it’s like you’re always in a rush. Like, we have make-outs but we’re not really...intimate. And I don’t mind. I mean, it’s fun. But every now and then, it’s good to have it be like this. And at Dack’s party—it was like this. Like you had all the time in the world, and you wanted us to have it together. I loved that. It was back when you were really looking at me. It was like—well, it was like you’d climbed up that tree and found me there at the top. And we had that together. Even though we were in someone’s backyard. At one point—do you remember?—you made me move over a little so I’d be in the moonlight. ‘It makes your skin glow,’ you said. And I felt like that. Glowing. Because you were watching me, along with the moon.”

Does she realize that right now she’s lit by the warm orange spreading from the horizon, as not-​­quite-​­day becomes not-​­quite-​­night? I lean over and become that shadow. I kiss her once, then we drift into each other, close our eyes, drift into sleep. And as we drift into sleep, I feel something I’ve never felt before. A closeness that isn’t merely physical. A connection that defies the fact that we’ve only just met. A sensation that can only come from the most euphoric of feelings: belonging.

What is it about the moment you fall in love? How can such a small measure of time contain such enormity? I suddenly realize why people believe in déjà vu, why people believe they’ve lived past lives, because there is no way the years I’ve spent

on this earth could possibly encapsulate what I’m feeling. The moment you fall in love feels like it has centuries behind it, generations—all of them rearranging themselves so that this precise, remarkable intersection could happen. In your heart, in your bones, no matter how silly you know it is, you feel that everything has been leading to this, all the secret arrows were pointing here, the universe and time itself crafted this long ago, and you are just now realizing it, you are just now arriving at the place you were always meant to be.

We woke an hour later to the sound of her phone. I keep my eyes closed. Hear her groan. Hear her tell her mother she’ll be home soon.

The water has gone deep black and the sky has gone ink blue. The chill in the air presses harder against us as we pick up the blanket, providing a new set of footprints. She navigates, I drive. She talks, I listen. We sing some more. Then she leans into my shoulder and I let her stay there and sleep for a little longer, dream for a little longer.

I am trying not to think of what will happen next.

I am trying not to think of endings.

I never get to see people while they’re asleep. Not like this.

She is the opposite of when I first met her. Her vulnerability is open, but she’s safe within it. I watch the rise and fall of her, the stir and rest of her. I only wake her when I need her to tell me where to go.

The last ten minutes, she talks about what we’re going to do tomorrow. I find it hard to respond.

“Even if we can’t do this, I’ll see you at lunch?” she asks.

I nod.

“And maybe we can do something after school?”

“I think so. I mean, I’m not sure what else is going on. My mind isn’t really there right now.”

This makes sense to her. “Fair enough. Tomorrow is tomorrow. Let’s end today on a nice note.”

Once we get to town, I can access the directions to her house without having to ask her. But I want to get lost anyway.

To prolong this. To escape this.

“Here we are,” Hanni says as we approach her driveway. I pull the car to a stop. I unlock the doors. She leans over and kisses me. My senses are alive with the taste of her, the smell of her, the feel of her, the sound of her breathing, and the sight of her as she pulls her body away from mine.

“That’s the nice note,” she says. And before I can say anything else, she’s out the door and gone.

I don’t get a chance to say goodbye.

I guess, correctly, that Hanni’s parents are used to her being out of touch and missing dinner. They try to yell at her, but you can tell that everyone’s going through the motions, and when Minji storms off to her room, it’s just the latest rerun of an old show.

I should be doing Minji’s homework—I’m always pretty conscientious about that kind of thing, if I’m able to do it—but my mind keeps drifting to Hanni. Imagining her at home. Imagining her floating from the grace of the day. Imagining her believing that things are different, that Minji has somehow changed.

I shouldn’t have done it. I know I shouldn’t have done it. Even if it felt like the universe was telling me to do it. I agonize over it for hours. I can’t take it back. I can’t make it go away.

I fell in love once, or at least until today, I thought I had. Her name was Danielle, and it felt so real, even if it was mostly words. Intense, heartfelt words. I stupidly let myself think of a possible future with her. But there was no future. I tried to navigate it, but I couldn’t.

That was easy compared to this. It’s one thing to fall in love. It’s another to feel someone else falling in love with you, and to feel a responsibility toward that love.

There is no way for me to stay in this body. If I don’t go to sleep, the shift will happen anyway. I used to think that if I stayed up all night, I’d get to remain where I was. But instead, I was ripped from the body I was in. And the ripping felt exactly like what you would imagine being ripped from a body would feel like, with every single nerve experiencing the pain of the break, and then the pain of being fused into someone new.

From then on, I went to sleep every night. There was no use fighting it. I realize I have to call her. Her number’s right there in her phone. I can’t let her think tomorrow is going to be like today.

“Hey!” she answers.

“Hey,” I say.

“Thank you again for today.”

“Yeah.”

I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to ruin it. But I have to, don’t I?

I continue, “But about today?”

“Are you going to tell me that we can’t cut class every day? That’s not like you.”

Not like me.

“Yeah,” I say, “but, you know, I don’t want you to think every day is going to be like today. Because they’re not going to be, alright? They can’t be.”

There’s a silence. She knows something’s wrong.

“I know that,” she says carefully. “But maybe things can still be better. I know they can be.”

“I don’t know,” I tell her. “That’s all I wanted to say. I don’t know. Today was something, but it’s not, like, everything.”

“I know that.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

I sigh. There’s always a chance that, in some way, I will have brushed off on Minji. There’s always a chance that her life will in fact change—that she will change. But I have no way of knowing. It’s rare that I get to see a body after I’ve left it. And even then, it’s usually months or years later. If I recognize it at all. I want Minji to be better to her. But I can’t have her expecting it.

“That’s all,” I tell her. It feels like a Minji thing to say

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, you will.”

“Thanks again for today. No matter what trouble we get into tomorrow for it, it was worth it.”

“Yeah.”

“I love you,” she says.

And I want to say it. I want to say I love you, too. Right now, right at this moment, every part of me would mean it. But that will only last for a couple more hours.

“Sleep well,” I tell her. Then I hang up.

There’s a notebook on her desk.

Remember that you love Hanni, I write in her handwriting. I doubt she’ll remember writing it. I go onto her computer. I open up my own email account, then type out her name, her phone number, her email address, as well as Mniji’s email and password. I write about the day. And I send it to myself.

As soon as I’m through, I clear Minji’s history. This is hard for me. I have gotten so used to what I am, and how my life works. I never want to stay. I’m always ready to leave.

But not tonight. Tonight I’m haunted by the fact that tomorrow she’ll be here and I won’t be. I want to stay. I pray to stay. I close my eyes and wish to stay.

[bitsbug]

i have a ton of question/suggestions for slug sign: 1. how do you indicate emotion in SS? my best guess is using cycles but talking about smth like sadness cant really be done that way 2. is there a specific way youre supposed to type out SS in english? 3. SS seems pretty heavy on context adding a kind of adjective system may help to fix issues with specification as well as free up room for more words. an example would be making words for "cycle", "food", "region", and "direction" and then changing the current word for "cycle" into "specify" so you could say [cycle] [<specification>] to talk about the specific cycle and plan or [direction] [<specification>] to talk about a specific direction and where you may want to go.. etc. words without specification still work but use context. 4. is there a way to explain advanced movement in SS, stuff like a flip or roll. 4.5. if not id suggest adding words for stuff like "sprint" or "crouch" and to go with it "then" to explain stuff for example [jump] [then] [crouch] [forward] would be a way to explain sliding

5. did you ever have concepts for a written version?

hooh momma! thank you for all the questions!

1)

Slugsign has a few emotion indicators, but not all of them are signs. We hop around a lot and dance and flip when we're happy; hopping in place is kind of a "this is good!" while hopping sporadically is "I'm excited!"

Using "loser" repeatedly or shaking on the spot expresses frustration, alongside signing "no" a lot and hitting eachother with rocks. Also insulting whatever you're mad at, we love to insult things.

Recently we've started using "peace" as a way of saying sorry, which wasn't even intentional it just developed during a play session. Sadness is characterized by a lot of "sorry" and crouching without movement and trying to shove yourself into corners. [Me] [loser] is used to express guilt.

2)

Oh hey, you actually use the exact method we use in this ask. We transcribe signs by placing them in brackets, for example: [give?] [Moon] [quantity-lots] [scav][object]. There's no official way you're "supposed" to though, that's just what we do.

3)

What you propose sounds like an interesting idea, but idk how much it'd be utilized. I mean for direction you can just.. point in the way you want to go. And "cycle" in reference to a day is considered the current one by default- you'd use "later" to specify a future one. I think what you're wanting is an abstracted "this" sign? which yeahh WOULD be nice actually..

I've thrown out the idea of having a grammatical word order thing, like [cycle] [food] and [food] [cycle] having different meanings, but Phen's worried that'll be really hard to memorize and cause confusion. Idk I still think it's cool and would add a lot of nuance, I'm gonna try to convince her on it.

4)

We probably could add those signs if y'all really want? I know people use it for their own co-op now, but in me and Phen's sessions we both already know the movement tech. It sounds really funny to teach someone about rainworld using slugsign though, I like that.

I could see condensing all those into a single "movement" or "example" sign: you use the sign and then do the action you're demonstrating. So a backflip would be like.. [example-run] [example-turn] [fast] [example-jump].? Could probably use some workshopping.

5)

..no not really!! I'm not a linguist or a language hobbyist, me and Phen are just winging this shit according to need, and I have NO idea how I'd go about making a written variant beyond transcripts. Besides idk if we'd really.. use it? That sounds super good for the worldbuilding aspect, but we already have the legend to reference. Anyone else who wants to take on the idea, by my guest.

[spidey-bie]

I actually don't do requests but since you asked so nicely (and I also already had this in my drafts for like the longest but I never finished it.)

Hobie x Black G/N Reader

TW: Physical Touch

Hobie Brown is a proud aroace relationship anarchist who's constantly sticking a middle finger up at amatonormativity. Idc idc.

You wanna have a qpr? Try and stop him. (Don't do that he's got Spidey strength.)

If or when you start living together you both either take turns cooking or you cook together.

(Also I feel like he can't bake for anything but his food is the bomb)

If you wanna share rooms he's cool with that.

If you want separate rooms he's cool with that too.

But either way y'all definitely have a big sleepover/movie night in the living room at least once a week.

"Mate, you just had to get in the car. You'd still be alive if you just used your head."

"Bie you know they had to kill the black guy first. It's a horror movie."

You hang out in the back stage during his shows and he takes you with him to go pub hopping afterwards.

You both infodump to one another. He can go off on tangents for hours about a lot of different things. Whether it's something political or just his favorite artists.

If you're not British then he teaches you British slang so you can understand what he's saying. (In turn you teach him some AAVE and y'all mess with Miles and Gwen by using both simultaneously.)

His love language is physical touch but not in like the traditional romantic sense. He's the type to just lay his entire body weight on you while your both lounging around. Or he'll drape himself up against you if your both standing.

If you don't like the word love he finds roundabout ways to tell you that he appreciates and cares for you. Or he just shows it via his actions.

Both of you go out on weekly outings together. (they're not dates because you aren't dating)

He either takes you to really obscure places or he sneaks you into his favorite artist's shows.

Let's you steal borrow his clothes. He knows if he's missing something he just has to go looking for you.

"Is that my jumper on your bed?" "If you mean our jumper then yes."

I just know that he knows where to find the best cheap hair products. (If you don't like to steal. Lame.)

I personally feel like he doesn't do much with his own hair. He got his locs installed one day and has just never touched it ever again but after hearing you lecture on about hair health he joins you on your wash days.

"I don't see why we have to feed into the idea of black hair being neat so that we can be palatable to those in power." He was leaning face first into the kitchen sink. "True. It doesn't have to be neat to be beautiful. But it at least has to be clean and watching you scratch makes me itch. Now close your eyes so i can rinse."

Edit: I modified the last one because I didn't agree with it anymore.

A/N: The autism won't let me hyperfocus on anything aside from Hobie at the moment. It's a curse but you don't hear me complaining lol. I looked into the difference between locs, dreads, and wicks for this and now I'm contemplating growing my hair out again.

[no-shxme]

Question if you could rework Talon how would you do it? Like, if you have complete and total control of the character, can change things as far as the beginning or just progress his story. You can do whatever.

What would you do?

OKAY so i actually typed out a long ass response but then it got deleted so this makes me very sad faklsdjkljsfd but im gonna try and repeat myself. Disclaimer ofc this is going to be very long and its also just my personal opinion. No hate if anyone’s ideal talon is different.

So i can divide the changes i would make into like, 3 categories.

Core design

In game

Lore

I’ll go ahead and put it below the cut bc i know its gonna be so long (sob)

CORE DESIGN:

Okay im pretty sure i’ve said smth similar before but i cant remember. Basically i think talon’s core design fantasy conflicts with his design to an egregious degree. Riot’s goal is supposed to be to make the champ design fit the fantasy, but we’re supposed to believe he’s this cutthroat, efficient, STEALTHY assassin, who can kill with no mercy and climb all over the map and yet he’s got this jingle-jangle cape and also a hokey, non-retractable armblade. (this pisses me off bc zed has a retractable blade. So they DO exist.) also wild rift pissed me off bc when they redid their design of him they didn’t fix any of the issues and in fact made the armblade worse. How is he supposed to climb? It fundamentally conflicts with what he’s supposed to be. Get rid of both of them both. banished.

Granted, both of these things make his design more unique, but i dont think talon needs them. In fact their existence makes his own thematic design worse, as someone who’s supposed to blend in, supposed to hide in a crowd and be a nobody. He’s supposed to have a generic design. Maybe they can fuck with his cape a lil bit, but he doesn’t need to have this super notable look to him. Look at akshan. He’s just a shirtless dude (in a repurposed sol uniform) but he wears it well fr. 

As a side note: talon’s design in ‘the name of the blade’ is pretty good as a starting off point but it still has the stupid cape.

To be clear they will never change this i think. Talon’s armblade and cape are too ingrained in his old design so they’ll never be fixed, and this problem with it not matching his fantasy will only get worse over time.

Also i think base leblanc also looks ridiculous and is in the same boat.

IN GAME:

A new model + animations ofc! Hood toggle, + extra animation variants when vaulting over stuff. (over thin walls, thick walls, and side hops.) an idle knife flip. (oh and new splasharts ofc.) a new voice!! My current problem with the voice is that imo he sounds too old and deep, and also he suffers from being old (i hc him as between 23-25) and having few lines. Tbh i think talon would rock a raspy transmasc voice, or at least a raspy voice, prone to cracking bc he’s not super talkative.

random voice line ideas

New interactions with katarina, swain prolly, sett (as a treat) and ezreal. etc.

New joke response: “i dont get it” or “you talk too much.”

New taunt response: “be quiet.”

“Leave me alone” or “you’re annoying” after killing someone.

“I can climb that” when seeing sett or other eligible champs, both masc and fem. bisexual energy.

Lots of vocalizations. “Hah,” hrmphs, occasional “hm.”

A focus on shorter, more straightforward sentences as opposed to long wordy ones.

he will trigger more voicelines when by himself (for eg: in the jg) as opposed to around other champions. (yes im dreaming big.)

as an 'away from people or in the jg' voiceline: whistling. not like a tune or anything, just a few notes.

LORE:

Okay this is the really big one. I’m just gonna go all over the place.

Step 1: make him aro. MAKE HIM ARO. it doesn't need to be a big reveal or anything. Actually it’d be better if all of talon’s lore was lowkey. It can just be smth mentioned or implied on the side, but canon nonetheless. I hc him as bi too but the aro is way more important to me. WHILE WE'RE AT IT. riot please release an aromantic pride icon pls. every year i foolishly hope.

Step 2: i’d also make him trans. This isn’t a hard need for me but it makes his story/character stronger. Also i think its great to have open lgbt rep but i would like rep for people who are stealth too. Talon would be that. He likes to blend in, he likes to be unknown and invisible, he doesn’t want too much attention and he wants to be perfect. It’s pretty on the nose. I know people would be mad bc like, noo he wasn’t trans before, but i just dont care. My ideal talon is trans or at least gnc/nb-coded if amab. Also while we’re at it i’d also either give him autism with my autism ray-gun, or i’d just make him autism-coded. It just fits him. I think he realistically has anxiety and prolly some other personality disorder, if not a touch of tism.

Step 3: make the timeline of events around when he was adopted all the way to the kat comic more definite. Like how old was he when he was ‘adopted?’ (imo at least 13 but i can explain in a not already super long post pfpfpf). Retcon some of the kat comic. I think the most annoying part of it is how much he talks. I think riot thinks he’s like, a boring character, but he’s not. He’s just a NUANCED character. There are many different assassins in league that fit specific niches. (zed is evil shadow ninja assassin, akali is rogue wildcard assassin, pyke is the crazed executioner, yone is righteous, fizz is silly, katarina is proud and showy.) talon is already supposed to fit the most typical ‘assassin niche.’ like assassins creeds. Just let him be that. You don’t have to make him talk a ton, just amplify what’s already there. He’s a perfectionist, he does things in the most efficient way, he’s got layers and abandonment issues, and i think something that’s overlooked by riot is how he’s prolly a victim of manipulation and abuse. In fact i’d make that very clear, even by revealing that talon can’t read. That would already mean smth is up.

In terms of the kat comic: Cut out the whole part where talon monologues like an idiot at the end. While we’re at it, have kat kill the king, not that other guy. I think its a more interesting tie in and adds more character conflict. I actually hate how ‘good’ katarina was in the comic like she can afford to have more awfulness and then visibly grow out of it. Idc. continuing, i’d make it so that talon really thought marcus left, and then marcus returns just before the kat comic events and manipulates talon into trying to kill her. Idk this makes so much more sense to me i dont know why they had talon know about it the whole time, as if it didn’t kill his entire story that we’d been following for years. Like it was such an easy change to still respect what story he already had??? IT MAKES ME MAD. It also allows talon to have more obvious conflict with killing kat, bc their sibling connection improves in marcus' absence.

ALSO i like his scar in the kat comic but i’d like it differently instead of straight down. I feel like eye scars are pretty like, they all look the same yk. Can we vary it up or maybe give him a few more. He’s so pretty in the kat comic but he deserves more scars.

Also, in his high noon story i would not have fucking talon dish out the expository dialogue again. I love that story but it makes me mad how he just word vomits this whole story. Just put that shit at the beginning and leave him out of it. Or maybe find some way to explain that doesn’t involve clumsy paragraphs of expository dialogue. Sorry, no hate to the author but i think a character reciting a whole fable to someone is amateurish, lazy, and a disservice to his character. I would also make him and Yone the protagonists of high noon gothic as an au. Ive been meaning to make a post about it but they parallel each other very nicely. A demon going holy and a good man going hellish.

If i could i would legit canon-ship him with sett or with akshan. But thats ofc very indulgent and relies on setup.

uhhh extra bits that im thinking of:

retcon the going to shurima after failing to kill kat bit. i want him to fester. i would rather him be totally lost for a second and observe the wreckage of his lost family.

imo he never meets cass or soreana, because he enters the family in his teens when they're both already in shurima.

i think a really cool way to deliver talon's lore would be via other champ lore that happens to have him in it. with a consistent voice you'd be able to piece him together while still maintaining the theme of him being on the outside, lowkey.

OH I'D CHANGE HIS ICON BTW. his character icon doesn't look like him. dear god. dark brown hair pls, amber eyes. let it be so.

if i could i would strengthen the anarchistic themes he has going on in his skin lines. yeah let him go apeshit why not. let him be a thorn. let him break apart.

im pretty sure he's canonically short (looked the same size as kat in the comic) but if not. he is now. sorry bud.

oh as a final note. right now his parents are just Gone. but i would make sure that they abandoned him. its the strongest way to cause him to attach to marcus.

there's probably more but i really can't remember rn and its already so long. my god. thanks for this ask tho it was very fun to answer omg. if i ever become a famous author id beg riot to let me write smth for him. a novella or smth like garen first strike.

and ofc to reiterate, these are just my opinions. people can have their own versions of talon for sure, its all ok!

[puppetfics]

(Same anon btw)

No not really! I’m fine with any characters!

Blissful Flowers

Blissful Flowers

CHARACTERS: Gordon + The Puppets

FANDOM: My Friendly Neighborhood

TYPE: Fluff, Slight angst.

REQUESTED BY: Anon

Gordon had been managing the puppet's show and studio for at least a year by now. He was happy. The puppets were nice to him, he saved them after all. After one of their shows had been recorded, Gordon went outside for a breather.

Puppets such as Lenard and Junebug (Ricky occasionally, Gordon glanced at the pipes all around.) had ventured out here many times before saving the studio.

Not much after that. He sat on the hard stone steps just outside the entrance. Then he saw it. A small flower. It had grown just outside the studio. *Had the puppets saw a flower before? It was a silly question,* He thought.

*They hadn't seen much actual nature other than... cardboard cutouts. That's all they know.* He got an idea. " There's a park around in town.. There should be flowers around there.. " Gordon said under his breath, Not wanting to potentially spoil this surprise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lenard and Norman were talking about their latest show, (Which was about teaching children about classical music and football, Featuring them both), And Ricky listened through the pipes. He popped out at them. " Surpriseeee!!! " He yelped out, as Lenard and Norman jumped back in surprise, shortly after; laughing. " Ricky! What did Gordon tell you about popping out at us? It scares us! " Lenard says through a chuckle. " I couldn't help myself, Come on, Sometimes we need a bit of surprise around here! It's kind of the same everyday.. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gordon had got up from the stoney stairs, and was now heading to where Ricky was, Gordon knew he could go to him to gather up everybody. " Hey Ricky, Do ya think you could gather Junebug, Lenard, Norman, And George here? I want to surprise all of you with something, I think all of ya would really like it. " He chuckled. " Oh— Sure! I'll be right back with them! "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gordon and the others were brought outside, them all slightly confused but going on with it. Ricky would follow along through the various pipes in the city. Gordon opened the door to the back of his truck. " Come along now, everyone. " The puppets hopped in the back of his truck. " Everybody alright back there? " He said, as he slid into the drivers seat in the front. The puppets all said yes, and Gordon got driving.

" Where are we going? " Said a curious Junebug. " It's a surprise. " Gordon said, trying not to give away what he was taking them all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gordon had pulled up to a park where (almost) nobody goes in the city. The puppets were super excited, not knowing where they were but it.. looked different than the studio.. " Get out guys, we're here. " He opened the door, while also admiring the (no so great, but better than around the studio) scenery. There were many flowers here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lenard and Junebug went down the slides, George played on those fake cars, Ricky watched from the pipes, Norman swung on the swings, and Gordon sat watching in the grass with the daisys and lavenders. He picked a lavender flower. His mama used to make lavender tea for him, He drank it all the time. It was his comfort drink. After she died, she left a recipe for him. He made it a lot when he had free time. He started tearing up a little. Norman had sat next to him.

" Hey Gordon!! What's got you down? Get a smile on your face! " Norman smiled goofily, and Gordon couldn't help but smile as well. " Hah— " He wiped his tears, Everybody always knew how to put even a small smile on his face. " Sorry buddy. Just having some memories pop into my head, ya know? Ya see these flowers? They look nice. " Normans eyes lit up, and he called everyone to look at the group of flowers in the (mostly) green grass. George broke the toy car he was riding on, and Junebug giggled as he huffed embarrassingly, but started chucking a bit afterwards. " Yeah? " Said Lenard. " Ooh it's some pretty flowers!! Look everyone!! And they feel so soft and smell sooooo nice!!! " Junebug felt the flower petals, and smelled them. Gordon smiled a bit, happy that the puppets liked something dear to him.

" I miss you, ma. " Gordon said, watching as the puppets admired the flowers and he held a handful of petals, and squeezed them in his hand.

[jillsandwhichs]

Valenfield Oneshots/AU's Collection , Chap 4 , Beach day

Masterlist

Pairing: Jill Valentine & Chris Redfield

Summary: Chris takes Jill on a date to the beach

Status of their relationship in this one shot: Dating

WC: 2.2k

Type: Sfw

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Thank you

Wind was blowing into the truck, causing Jill's short brown hair to flow along with it. Her feet were kicked up on the dashboard, wearing some cute sandals that showed off her white painted toe nails.

Music was playing at a low volume through the radio, it was the song 'You know how we do it' by Ice Cube, one of her and Chris's favorite artist.

Chris was driving, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on Jill's thigh. They both enjoyed physical affection, the difference between the two though, was that Chris liked PDA, while Jill did not.

"Did you pack the sunscreen?" Chris asked Jill. Her skin gets sunburnt way to easily. "Yes, you told me like five times to pack it, how could I forget babe?" Jill laughed while sipping her iced tea, the cold beverage making her throat feel clearer than ever.

"Good, good, I love to see that you listen." Chris teased, squeezing her thigh lightly as he turned left on the road, getting closer to their destination. Jill blushed slightly at the feeling of him touching her. Touching her in anyway makes her happy.

Jill placed her can in the cup holder and brought her legs back to the floor of the truck, adjusting her sitting position. "Speaking of what we packed, did you bring my extra clothes? The ones I left at your place?" She asked Chris. "I believe so."

"You believe so? You don't know so?" Jill said, a puzzled look on her cute face. Chris turned from the view of the road, since they were at a red light, and he looked into Jill's eyes before talking. "I know so baby." He snorted and looked back in front of him.

Rolling her eyes, Jill nudged Chris and turned her head towards her side, looking out the window. Cars were passing by at a instant pace, the sound of them zooming on by was loud, considering the windows were done all the way.

Downtown was beautiful around here. It felt very homey and warm, as if everyone in the community knew one another, which was practically the case.

Chris has always preferred the idea of a small town. Jill is quite the opposite, she likes bigger cities and the idea of big areas that have a lot to do. She likes distractions, mostly due to her job.

"Are you gonna swim?" Chris asked, smiling, glancing over at her. "Maybe. I usually just lay on a towel and read at the beach but maybe I'll get in the water, it'd feel great."

"Sounds good." Chris retorted, nodding his head as he continuing driving, only a bit above the speed limit, which is ironic since he works for the force.

The beach and it's parking lot was now in sight. Gravel roads led into it, then the beach was directly north of the lot.

Chris pulled into the parking lot, checking left and right, making sure the area is clear. "The truck is gonna be so hot if this sun keeps it up." Jill said with a groan. "Oh you'll be okay." Chris smirked and took the key out of the ignition, placing it in his shorts.

"Yeah, yeah." She giggled and opened the passenger side door, hopping out of Chris's truck. He also got out, making sure to double lock his truck. It was a nice truck, in a not so safe town, the last thing he wants is some psycho trying to take his vehicle.

Walking back up to the front of the truck, after grabbing their items, Jill placed her hand in Chris's, beginning their journey towards the shining, dark blue water.

The sun shining on the both of them, making their skin glisten, especially Jill's, since she applied sun screen onto her pale, healthy skin.

Reaching the beach, the sand slipped around their feet instantly. "Damn, the sand is hot." Jill winced a bit from the unexpected feeling.

He laughed at Jill's reaction and placed his hand around her shoulder as they walked, "You're beautiful." He sighed softly, continuing to walk with her. "Oh stop it." She looked down, hiding her rosey pink cheeks.

Pointing out a good spot for the two to take over, they got ready to set up camp for the next thirty minutes or so. The two didn't plan to stay for long, still needing to get their own personal errands done for the day.

Laying down the big towel, Chris spread it out as perfectly as he could, so it could fit the two of them. Jill placed his beach bag down on the corner of the material, before sitting down on it.

"Comfy?" "Comfy." Jill replied, using her hand to quickly brush the small grains of sand from her two feet.

Chris sat beside her, laying his head on her shoulder, then leaned back up and began to kiss her shoulder gently. "I love you." Jill said with a happy sigh, as she reached for her book from her straw bag. "I love you." Chris replied lovingly.

She looked directly in front of her, watching the waves clash against one another. "The water does look like it'd cool be down, I'm hotter than you'd even believe." Jill said softly. "I know." Chris said in a cocky tone. Jill looked down at him and flicked him in the forehead.

"Let me read for a little bit, then I'll take a dip, yeah?" Jill said as she layed down on her stomach, opening her book.

"Sounds good honey." Chris said, laying beside her, but he layed on his back.

-

Some time has passed and Jill and Chris were just taking in the sun, occasionally talking about whatever had peaked their interests that day.

Scanning the small fonted words on her book, Jill got fully immersed into the world of it. Jill absolutely adores reading. Chris definitely helps with her reading addiction. He'll often buy her books, he loves her reaction when she is reading the ones he specifically buys for her. It makes him feel like he won.

Staring up at Jill, Chris admired his girlfriend. The way her eyes were so intently focused on her book. Chris finds Jill to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The first day he seen her enter the S.T.A.R.S office, he knew he'd make her his.

"What're you looking at?" Jill placed her book down, looking down at Chris. "You." He chuckled and sat up, standing off of the towel. "I'm heading off to the water, you coming baby?" Chris questioned. "In a little, let me finish my chapter. "Yes ma'am." He retorted, quickly pecking her head then jogging towards the water directly after.

Jill looked up at Chris as he entered the lake, going deeper into the body of water until it covered his chest. He was just chilling in the deep end of the water, letting himself soak up in the sun.

Despite Jill and Chris just recently beginning to date, she couldn't help but admire what she was seeing. His body was to die for and she felt very lucky to have met someone so fit, just like her. It's a deal breaker for her if a man doesn't take care of himself.

She smiled, biting her lip and placed her book down, sitting up on her knees and removing her top to reveal a bikini top. She was wearing a white bikini. Jill used to be very uncomfortable with wearing something so revealing but as she got older, she knows that she's an adult and that it's normal in a public space like this, so she eventually came out of her comfort zone.

"I'm coming." Jill shouted with a giggle, stepping off of the towel and onto the steaming hot sand, speed walking over to the lake, the waves soaring up to hit her ankles.

"That's cold." She whispered to herself, trying to get used to the temperature. "Baby!" Jill shouted, calling out for Chris. Chris turned his head and smiling at the sight of her. "Come here." Chris spoke aloud.

Kicking her feet in the water, Jill looked out at Chris again. "I don't know, it's cold..." Jill sighed, shivering slightly. "Yeah but it's hotter out than it's cold in here, it'll feel nice once you're submerged." Chris spoke gently.

He swam closer to the shore, eventually walking over to her, and standing directly in front of Jill. "C'mon baby." Chris said with a smile, placing his hands on her waist. "Maybe..." She giggled. "Maybe?" Chris retorted. "Mhm."

Chris sighed softly and looked Jill in the eyes, giving her a look of mischief. "What?" Jill asked. "Oh nothing..." He smirked. "What's so funny?"

"This." Chris said in reply, then picking her up bridal style. "Chris, NO! Jill shouted, but also not being able to contain her snickers. "Put me down honey!" Jill hit his chest as he continued walking deeper into the lake.

He then dunked her in the water, making sure her entire body got soaked. "Jesus, that's fucking cold." Jill mumbled and tightened her grip around Chris. "It feels nice, embrace it." He said playfully. "You've forced me too!" She shouted with a sassy tone.

Tilting Jill up, her feet touched the sandy, wet ground, her feet forming with it. "It does feel nice." Jill admitted, lifting her arms above the surface of the water, walking deeper into the lake.

It got increasingly deeper as she walked more outwards, feeling herself slowly having to resort to the tips of her toes. "Why does it get so deep so quickly, this is insane." Jill said in a annoyed tone, but really didn't mind.

Wrapping his arms around her, Chris picked Jill up as they were now so deep in that Jill could barley touch. "Come here." Chris said quietly, allowing Jill to grab onto him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

"I hope a fish comes up and bites you in the ass." Jill sneered to Chris. "Oh really now?" Chris had a look of love on his face, loving the goofier side to Jill, that she rarely ever shows off.

Comfortability was something Jill never had with anyone but herself. Jill felt as though she'd have to put a mask on around others, not really being able to be herself. With Chris, it's so much different, and it's been that way since they first met.

Rays of sunshine hit their faces, the glow in Jill's eyes made her look even prettier.

Their eyes had locked, the look of empathy, love and loyalty was filled to the brim in both of their angelic eyes. This was the look that reminded Chris why he fell for her, and vice versa.

Jill kissed Chris gently, placing her hands on the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair, before pulling away after a few seconds.

Chris smiled once she pulled away, using his hand to move wet, glistening strands of hair from the side of Jill's cheek, then leading to caressing her cheek, before soon after, she giggled and let go of her boyfriend completely.

Unattaching from Chris, Jill began to swim a bit deeper. "What're you doing? Be careful sweetheart." Chris stated sternly.

He has always been way to overprotective of her but he can't help her. She's quite reckless and doesn't think before doing sometimes. Chris often feels like he's keeping track of a crackhead, because she just simply isn't that safe, especially in potential dangerous situations

"Oh I'm fine!" Jill spoke with a sarcastic tone, laying on her back, staying afloat in the water. Chris chuckled and swam back over to her. "Would you like to go get some food baby?" Chris questioned, mostly using it as a tactic to get her out of the lake.

Turning her head towards him, Jill nodded, still laying in the water before beginning to paddle back to the shore.

They both exited the lake, Chris looked over to Jill and handed her a towel, "There you go." Chris said with a side smile. "I'll go start the truck, pack up the towels and your little beach bag." He told her, kissing her softly before heading to his truck.

On her knees, in the now somewhat colder sand, Jill placed all of their belongings in her beach bag, stuffing it to the tippy top, and placing her can of iced tea in the pocket of it.

The wind had picked up, just like the news had discussed earlier on the radio, it was probably going to rain. Chris nor Jill really cared, especially since they love the rain. It's peaceful.

Jill placed the bag on her shoulder and continued her way back to Chris and the truck.

Jill looked over at where Chris was standing, the sun shining right in her eyes as she did, so she put her hand over top of her eyes, blocking it out as best she should.

"Where do you wanna eat?" Chris asked her, opening the passenger side door. "I don't know, I'm up to anything." She replied, climbing into the truck. Chris closed the door and snickered to himself. Why are women so difficult...

[cilil]

Since everyone are asking about ships, do you have: popular ship that you are not into, but can see the idea; popular ship you are not into and can't understand why; and a ship popularity of which surprises you (in either positive or negative sense).

Genuinely curious, not trying to start any drama, but naturally feel free to delete if you don't feel like answering. Nice day to you!

Hey anon! Lovely day to you too and thanks for the ask!

(I'm going to preface this by saying these type of asks can be a bit tough to answer for me, since I'm just pretty chill with ships and sometimes can't even tell how popular a thing is while drifting around in my comfortable little bubble, and my answers might not be super juicy, but I wanted to try giving some anyway ^^)

Popular ship that you are not into, but can see the idea

I brainstormed a bit which popular ships came to mind and also went on AO3 to filter for the most written Silm ships. I actually love all the ones that came up (especially Angbang haha), so I suppose I have nothing in that regard.

If I wanted to give a funny answer, I'd say Beren/Lúthien (the author's canonical self-insert would count as fairly popular, yeah?) because yes, I get the idea and there's a lot of romantic stuff going on, but I will never understand giving up fucking hot angels in Valinor for the sake of a human man who came crawling out of the bushes one day (listen, you guys do you, and creeping on people in forests seems to be some sort of Ainurin/Valinorean dating tradition, but I would be calling the police, ok? Don't creep on me in my forest please unless your name is Eönwë). Lúthien, girl, I love you, but this choice is personally offensive to me and my efforts to get my hands on hot angels. Maybe I'm also just too arospec for this, happy pride month.

(I should perhaps add that such opinions are always subject to change, all it takes is one person giving me one idea that gets me thinking and the entire thing could look different tomorrow. These are snapshots of a moment in time, if you will.)

((Also in case it needs to be said, please nobody take my funny answers too seriously.))

Popular ship you are not into and can't understand why

Hmmm, to properly answer that I would probably have to get into my NOTPs and that's a topic I don't want to discuss on this blog.

Please don't feel bad for asking, I appreciate it, but that's just one thing I decided for myself because, while I think nobody should put too much emphasis on my - a random person on the internet that I believe nobody here has met! - opinion, some people do and/or get upset that not everyone likes their ship. And I get it, I don't like people talking crap about my favorite characters and ships to my face either. So yeah, I just don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable :)

Ship popularity of which surprises you (in either positive or negative sense)

Heh. This will be a fun one, but bear with me for a second, alright?😅

I'm going to say Russingon. Now, now, put down the pitchforks. When I read the Silmarillion, I was very new to fandom and shipping in general and was also reading mostly just for an overview of everything and to learn more about Melkor and Mairon, so I didn't think too much of the Russingon interactions. Hopping onto AO3 immediately after, I quickly learned about them being shipped, went "oh yeah, I totally see this" and have been a supporter ever since.

The reason why its popularity surprises me is quite simply that I come from a fandom where people were incredibly weird and hostile regarding any sort of incest, including all variations of pseudo-incest ("sibling-coded", found family, etc.). I essentially went from a fandom that bullied me out of shipping two characters who were neither biologically related nor had grown up together nor even knew each other prior to their meeting as adults simply because they apparently had sibling vibes to a fandom whose top ship are half-cousins.

In case I haven't made it sufficiently clear: It was a very positive surprise. I frankly think very little of fandoms who clutch their pearls over pixels on a screen kissing and police what people can and can't ship, and I feel just so much more comfortable in a fandom where people are more chill and used to it. Thank you, Russingon!

[brynnterpretations]

Hi!! I’d love to request a ship for The Boys if you’re not sick of those!

my name is willa. i think it’s a little less common in the usa and people have trouble spelling it sometimes, so if someone gets it right the first try i will immediately love them lol.

im a bisexual girl with a preference for guys. i have curly blonde hair with blue streaks, blue eyes, pale skin + freckles, and i’m about 5’4. i’ve always wished i was taller but i would kinda love having a partner taller than me lol. i have two ear piercings and a nose stud, and i’m hoping to get more piercings soon like lip piercings or a septum ring. i’m also thinking of getting some tattoos, though nothing huge. i have an apple body type and am a little insecure so i would never date someone who would make me feel bad about myself.

^^also for someone i would not date! i don’t like people who yell a lot or people with severe anger issues. i totally do get having trouble with emotions but i don’t want to be around/be with someone who would take that out on me.

i love clingy people or people who love to talk, i’m a good listener. once you get to know me im very energetic and i love people who match my energy! i try to keep a positive outlook on everything. i have a lot of “nerdy” interests and i will not judge other people’s, so even if i have no idea what someone is talking about i will absolutely listen. my main love language is probably physical touch.

the career i’m currently pursuing is an elementary school teacher. and if that doesn’t work, i’d like to be a social media manager. two pretty different jobs lol.

my long term goals are to travel more, live by the ocean, and own some horses.

i love fashion!! i’m in the process of building a better wardrobe and i love dresses, skirts, bows, anything sanrio, and i wear a lot of pink or black lol.

my main hobbies are reading, swimming, baking, singing, walking. i love anyone with similar interests as me.

i also love people who will go out with me! i like fairs, theme parks, seasonal events especially, but beaches and shopping are also a yes. im very adhd so i’m not that big on museums but i would go if it’s important to my partner/friend. my favorite holiday is halloween.

i hope this was okay and not too much or too little!!! have a lovely day or night < 3

Thank you so much for the request! You have a beautiful name and seem like such a sweetheart.

I ship you with...

Hughie Campbell ♡

Boyfriend

GIF Source: @nellcrain ★ (link)

You and Hughie meet at a Halloween festival in the fall. Your placement is having you help organize events for the youngins, while Hughie is just a festive guy. Who can blame him? He loves himself some pumpkin pie.

However, doing so in NYC is pretty hard, especially because one of the kids you've been trying to keep in the petting zoo while his parents check out the candles decides to hop the small fence and, after disappearing from your line of sight, plop straight into Hughie.

Hughie likes kids, but he is not good with them — he tends to freeze up and worry about the "right thing to say", the "right way to play", etc. — so he would be slightly frightened, mostly frazzled, and would just be focused on getting the kid back to where she came from.

And, after some well-meaning interrogation, he would return her to your station, where he would meet you.

Just at first glance, he finds you extremely cute, especially with how you're not judgmental about how very visibly flustered he was, and exchanges in very sweet (but awkward) small talk with you before going off under the excuse of "getting cider".

He finds you very, very cute in both personality and appearance, so after pacing around the festival three times, he works up the courage to ask you out once bystanders (and children) are away with a signature Hughie ramble: "hey, so, I don't mean to make you feel weird at work or anything—so it's fine if not—but would I be able to get your number?"

And, once you say yes, expect a lot of sweetness. He would make up for not being able to get too much conversation in at the fair by texting you (as well as sending you cute good morning, and good night texts) and would take you to Long Beach for a bite to eat and sightseeing.

Expect the full gentleman package; Hughie picks you up, takes you home, and pays for everything.

As he continues taking you on dates (most notably Miniso on 42nd Street, a book café, and a scary movie marathon, which did end in you having to cuddle him because he got too freaked out), you two start really, really falling for each other.

Hughie definitely stresses and labors over the "right time" to officialize your relationship (and, as evident in the kid stuff, the "right way" to do anything) so he would wait 2 – 3 months before making it official (using the consensus from Reddit). When he would, he'd say he was dropping things off at your apartment, and show up with something you forgot, a bouquet, and a high-end arrangement of your favorite candy.

While the dude's a massive rambler, he would be well-worded and to-the-point when he confesses his feelings to you and says he wants to be your boyfriend, because he takes you extremely seriously and does not want to mess things up.

Once you make things official, y'all become the #1 cutest couple.

Also, since you're into people taller than you, Hughie's your guy. Dude is 6 feet and four inches of anxiety and rambles, and you only go up to his upper arm.

And, since you like rambles: bro will ramble to you about literally anything, whether it's computer software equipment or the anti-war movements during the Vietnam War period.

It's returned, though. Whenever you want to talk about your interests, Hughie listens enthusiastically and always makes notes in your head of date or gift ideas based on them.

For this reason, you two have a PowerPoint night every weekend.

He's not a huge PDA person since he gets flustered easily, but he will always hold your hand in the street, kiss you, and put his arm around you while sitting down.

In private, though? Hughie clings to you like a monkey. He loves to big-spoon you and always stays in bed with you as long as he possibly can. Also, a plus when it's cold in either of your apartments/homes: he is an absolute furnace.

Also really likes your body (I looked up real images of apple body types and think they're super cute as well, but this ain't about me) and always compliments, even if/before you tell him you're insecure about it.

Plus, he loves, loves, loves your fashion style, and particularly loves getting photos of your outfit of the day (he'd ask for them politely, of course).

If you have a Pinterest or anywhere else you log fashion inspiration, he would stalk it and get gifts for you based on it.

So... bad news: Hughie is terrified of horses, because they're big, they're powerful, and they get this look in their eyes when he goes near them.

But, good news: our dude will never be a dream-crusher and would love to pal around on a ranch with you, so he starts getting over his fear of them for you, taking you to ranches where you two can volunteer and interact with horses.

He would avoid telling you his work because of his want to protect you. You are, no joke, the purest person he's ever met, and while he knows you're a strong individual, he doesn't want you to have more things added to your plate.

However, when he realizes that not telling you is only putting you in more danger and is damaging to your relationship, he'd tell you and introduce you to them.

And that brings us to...

The Boys

Acquaintances

GIF Source: @screwsupes ★ (link)

You don't get much interaction with the boys because of Hughie wanting to keep you out of harm's way, but you do make your bonds with them, and they you.

M.M. is 100% your closest acquaintance in the group. He loves to read, and he loves kids, so you two bond very quickly, even though he's one of the more quiet members of the coup.

After Hughie and the rest had to run to another location, you had to awkwardly sit with M.M., which turned into a long, pleasant conversation, and it turned out you two had some of the same favorite books.

Do you have Goodreads? M.M. has Goodreads. Friend him on Goodreads.

I also imagine he has a lot of clout on there, so if you make one or don't have many followers, he would 100% boost it and get you 1K more.

If Hughie gives a heads-up you're coming by, he always perks up and will order in something for you depending on the time, like coffee or Insomnia Cookies.

Butcher thinks you're a sweetheart, but definitely was put off by your fashion taste at first — when he first met you and wasn't expecting any visitors, bro point-blank said "what's this lollipop-lookin' cunt doing in here?", which... yeah.

He doesn't think it's bad, he's just used to Hawaiian shirts and shirtdresses.

He wouldn't talk to you very much, just because he's not really focused on making friends as of late, but Butcher would always welcome you when you come in, and, if he happens to see you afterward, give you the bro-nod. It looks as funny as it sounds.

Annie adores you. She and Hughie amicably split before you came in, but she's not a jealous person, and, too, wants Hughie to be happy: something he always iswhen he's with you.

She would be wary of hanging out with you in case that made things "weird", instead complimenting tattoos of yours she likes and making sure you're always comfortable when you visit the coup.

Kimiko loves your fashion style. She tends to wear dark, plain clothes not for aesthetic reasons, but for a need to "hide", and she loves how yours is colorful and out-there in a good way.

Also wants to dress like you, even if she only does it in the comfort of her room, so she'd ask for advice on different clothes, trinkets, and ask how you have the confidence to do it (which sounds bad, but trust me, for her, it's not — she's tried living her life invisible, and admires people who don't do the same).

She'd teach you some basic sign language, too! She really likes talking to you, and wants to more.

Lastly, Frenchie: he thinks you're so cool. Bro thinks you are so freaking cool. He digs the tattoos, fashion style, everything, and takes book recommendations from you once he figures out you read, since he tends to stick to very specific genres (poetry à la Neruda for the most part).

And, once he figures out you bake, he shares recipes for you.

Also, uh... made you some weed brownies once, so do what you want with that.

All in all, for someone who's only acquaintances with the boys, they all think you're great. You've got some very, very good people by your side, Willa.

[pianocat939]

Not trying to be rude, but I have no idea what or where the idea of Jiang Shi Donnie came from, do you mind explaining it if you haven’t already?

Yeah of course- bcs honestly I never really did explain it well-

Alright so for background information:

A jiāngshī, also known as a Chinese hopping vampire,[1] is a type of reanimated corpse in Chinese legends and folklore. The characters for "jiāngshī" are read goeng-si in Cantonese. It is typically depicted as a stiff corpse dressed in official garments from the Qing Dynasty, and it moves around by hopping with its arms outstretched. It kills living creatures to absorb their qi, or "life force", usually at night, while during the day, it rests in a coffin or hides in dark places such as caves.[2] Jiangshi legends have inspired a genre of jiangshi films and literature in Hong Kong and East Asia. Although the pronunciation of jiangshi varies in different East Asian countries, all of them refer to the Chinese version of zombies.

(wikipedia)

In simpler terms, a reanimated being who goes for your blood to steal life force.

Now, my funky little Donnie version doesn't include him hopping around, however, he does have somewhat of disabled talking. (more or less either slowed or broken language)

Bro's been dead for 300 years after being assassinated (he basically got put into a coffin by a Taoist priest ritual). And when he reawakens, he's not very equipped with the modern world. So he literally thinks a lot of things are demons- which is kind of a big thing in historical China cuz the Taoist religion.

And there you go, you have a feral turtle man.

(hopefully this explanation wasn't too messy)

[smartzelda]

for the author ask meme: 3, 5, 7, 19!

*GASP*

Thanks🥺💖

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3: I mostly write start to finish? Like when I started out I vehemently wrote start to finish, but nowadays it's common for me to write in order and then occasionally skip ahead a small bit while fleshing out my outline to type a rudimentary version of an interaction or thought process so I don't forget it by the time I get to that point. Every once in a while I'll hop around by choosing to just write whatever point in my outline that struk me in the brain on how to do, usually because I have writer's block on the scene before, but rarely do the stars align for this.

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5: I am ngl, the perfect environment is basically just cozy and homey and comfortable, but it wildly shifts between "No sounds. NO SOUNDS WHATSOEVER" and "Play that music that you're obsessed with on repeat it will give you the energy". Although the sound thing probably depends on how over or understimulated I am

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7: Hmm probably...the getting myself to write bit?

Coming up with ideas? Mostly figured out. Doing the outline? Let my brain go wild as it gets obsessed with the idea. Dialogue and fight scenes? Sure there can be struggle here and there, but got that. Editing? Only freaking sucks when the fic is long or when I'm stressed and also can't tell if I hate it because it's bad or because the brain is bad

But getting myself to start writing takes the most struggle and can often feel like I'm just waiting for the stars align and for it to just happen (which it can actually, just not reliably enough to rely on it)

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19: Ooohoo this is a good question and it'll probably not have an easy answer

So, in general, I have the easiest time with characters I am 1. Obsessed over and 2. Have spent a lot of time thinking about and/or writing meta for. For example, I've done a lot of Riku pov in my kh fics, and I think even today Riku's pov is one that I can fall into naturally, even if it's been a while since I wrote kh fic or back on my hyperfixation bullshit (and sometimes if I'm not on it at all). Even if I haven’t written a fic, just the act of doing media analysis and thinking about them and having gender envy can get me in the headspace enough for them to be easier, because I have an idea of them in my head and I feel as if I almost *get* them

In general, the hardest are ones for properties I have just gotten into or for characters that I might love but haven't quite fully dissected yet. For example, I've been a zelda fan for ages, but writing the Ghirazim fic was difficult. And you wouldn't think that, cause it's a dumb crackfic for a crackship, right? But on top of having to balance two character who are from completely unrelated properties, make their personalities play off of each other, make their similarities obvious but make sure to balance this and make it clear what makes them different so you're not equating them as the same person, and try to make them convincingly have feelings for each other while also being in character, I had to write Ghirahim. And even though I love Ghirahim and have been a Zelda fan since I was young, it's only recently I've been digging deep into him, and I just barely had at the time, so it was hard writing him while also not having it from his pov. (Wow I just realized how that fic probably prepared me for writing lawlight wtf). And it gets harder if the character isn't one I'm currently obsessed with. For example, I can sink into Riku so easily, but even though I wanna wrote Terra ship fic, it would take perseverance to start, because I've never really written Terra Kingdom Hearts and I he doesn't live in my brain rent free, even though I do like and relate with him.

The easiest answer I can give you to this question is Light Yagami. He is easy yet hard. I can easily fall into his headspace but he takes so much work. The reason being is that I have done the first thing I meantioned. I think about him a lot, even if I don't always talk about him. There's scores of meta on the brain for him as to his morality, what an act is to him, the difference between his acts and the real him, pulling at all the strings to work out what is closest to who he is and thinking about what he's been through that makes up him, etc. I need to kiss him, I need to see him wrecked, he looks the best when he's on the verge of death, I have gender envy and just regular old envy for a few things (I also love when he gets kicked and punched in the face. I also love when he looses. Duality of man and all that. He's my seemingly put together and perfect neurodivergent bitch loser). I feel as if I can sink into his headspace. And yet....he's still so hard at the same time? No matter what iteration of him I'm writing, I always have to keep in mind what makes the versions of him different, how he would react in a specific situation, what times he would be fine letting go and which he would choose to hold back. It's like I'm playing a perfect balancing game of all the things that make up him and his acts, channeling my meta and character analysis of him through him, dealing with my own perfectionism. He is not easy. He is not hard. He's so easy. He's so hard. He's easyhard idk what to tell ya, but the outcome of writing him always feels so satisfying to me. So, at least all the effort and thoughts taken up pay off😂😂😂