#also SO i feel weird since i got invited to my first 18 birthday party

[heatsu]

go to slut man jail

[syringa-ephemeris]

Happy 2H Profection Year!

Or something.

I was supposed to make this entry a week ago. But in between juggling my PMDD, job, personal projects, and all the planetary happenings since Leo season started, I decided it was best to slow down and keep a close check on my health first.

But I digress. Mentally speaking, I'm actually doing better these days. My body feels quite beat though. The commute in this country is dogshit.

It was a rainy night when I first started writing this, I was sitting alone at a dinner reservation, waiting for my advanced birthday dinner. I wanted to do something different for my birthday after all I've gone through. It was normal for me to spend it alone, but I hadn't really done anything special for me before. And so after a weekend of deliberation, I booked myself a dinner reservation at a place I've long wanted to try and also bought myself a limited-edition dress back in July.

Getting to the place was easy. I had already placed a deposit, and I loathe to waste anyone's time. Wearing the dress though, was a different matter entirely. It was a long, pretty thing. I was afraid of being judged as over-the-top and self-indulgent. In the end, I managed to convince myself to wear my oversized dress after seeing a couple of Genshin cosplayers during my commute. Slay, kiddos! And thank you. It was also my alma mater's graduation day at the time, so I guess we're all having our very own special days that day.

I ordered an extra upper tea along with my meal because quite honestly, I can never quite shake the melancholia that overcomes me the week my birthday rolls around. I once dreamed of having a huge birthday party. Make it an adult debut so to speak, since I didn't feel like I could do one back when I turned 18. Yet today, I chose to celebrate by myself. I didn't even invite any family lol

My 24th/1H profection year was a doozy. I'd like to say it was a net positive. I graduated (finally!!), got a job, started embracing my AuDHD. But I also lost my cat (death) and lost some friends (betrayal). So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . Honestly, it felt like my 12H year was still pranking me.

The 2H year deals with values. And from this point on, I'd like to start valuing myself more, start being more unapologetic for who I am. It's not just about the money--though that's a relationship I'm also working on. It's not enough that I'm no longer passively suicidal--I want to make space for myself too. And I want to own that space in spite of the people that tell me I'm unworthy.

Which is just a long-winded way of me saying that this dinner is part of my baby steps in living more as myself. I already watch movies, shop, eat, etc. by myself. But I'm ngl, the dinner reservation still felt like an uneasy growth because all attention was on me. It's not like when you're performing as part of a group. You can just mirror and fade into the background. When people are being attentive of you, just you, you (I, at least) sometimes catch yourself trying to look as dignified as your meal.

Or you can relax. Unclench and unmask. Most I'll do is straighten my back.

One day, it would be nice to have people celebrate me in my terms. But this one has stopped waiting. From now on, I celebrate each day as myself. Later on, I might even have the guts to do some shopping in my day dress. If people will look at me for being weird anyway, I might as well serve them a feast to look at.

[eyesaremosaics]

One of my closest friends from high school got married this weekend. How I found out was some photos posted by her so called “best” friend in her Instagram stories. This friend, I’ll call her cruxshadows, has always had issues with this other friend of hers since middle school. Cruxshadows used to sit with me on her porch and cry to me about how much this other person hurt her, was never there for her when she needed her, treated cruxshadows like she wasn’t cool enough to hang out with her.

Last time I saw cruxshadows was after Michael’s funeral. Oddly enough, I was with the other girl, she and cruxshadows lived together, and the other girl told me I could stay at her house. Seeing Cruxshadows after so many years of silence was bittersweet. She looked at me with guilty eyes and said my name both sadly, and beguiling. There was a wistful sadness in the way she said my name. It felt like oceans of time parted us.

Even though we had lost touch in the last ten years, I still thought our friendship from childhood was deep enough that I would be invited to her wedding, but I wasn’t. I found it a little insulting that this other girl was worth her making the effort to maintain a friendship, but I wasn’t. Especially after all she has put her through. It’s not just about the distance either, because she invited another mutual friend of ours from Boston. Just another female relationship that I put my heart and soul into, only to realize—they don’t feel the same way about me.

To be honest, I’m really starting to fear and distrust women. Every woman I have been extremely close to… has burned me in one way or another. Whether it’s a boy coming between us, money, addiction, ghosting me for no reason, or just neglect… I dunno. All I know is I no longer feel safe connecting emotionally with women. At my birthday—it was all men. Mostly gay men. The only exception being a girlfriend of a friend, and Isabella.

My gay boys are very loyal to me, and I to them. Since there is no competition, it’s the best kind of relationship to have. We love being together, because we love each other unconditionally for who we are inside. There’s no comparison thinking, jealousy or any other bullshit that is perpetrated by women.

I dunno… I really thought cruxshadows was one of my only true friends. Even though we didn’t talk often, I really thought our connection was very deep. Free of all the aforementioned issues. She was my sober, silly, theater friend. She pulled me out of a very dark time in my life. I was in the throes of my first ever heartbreak. I had just attempted suicide. All my other friends were hooking up with older guys, doing drugs and getting drunk at parties weekly. I drank, but I didn’t do drugs then, and I wasn’t having sex. I felt like the only one.

Cruxshadows was a goth girl, a Scorpio, with the same birthday as Winona Ryder (who is subsequently my hero), also a year older than I. We met at lunch, and she was really shy. She looked at me with those big googly amber eyes of hers, like a sick little nostalgia puppy at the animal shelter. She warmed up to me after a while, and when she did I asked her why she was so shy at the beginning. She burst out with a sudden violence: “because I wanted you to LIKE me!”

Whenever I was sad, crying in my room over Micheal, Carly would knock on my door asking if I wanted to go for a drive. We would drive aimlessly for hours. She was so weird, but I loved her for that. We would go to goodwill, but some hideous 80s prom dresses and drive through mall parking lots blasting phantom of the opera and belting the songs out the windows to annoy people.

We would watch Gilmore girls, eating garbage. Cruxshadows was the queen of junk food. She would always put one leg up on the dash while driving. Always had a fast food cup full of soda. We loved all the sane music, and went to the goth clubs soon as we were 18. We did plays together, had sleepovers all the time, watching sleepy hollow and playing with all her animals—cruxshadows had a menagerie at home. Her love of animals was one of her most endearing qualities.

She used to love to stalk boys she liked. She was crazy. She used to drag me to sit in the parking lot outside the dry cleaners so she could spy on this boy who worked there from the car with binoculars—I kid you not lol. Our friend Kevin was in his van with us once, and he said to her: “you’re a really bad stalker—“ she cut across him venomously, looking away from her binoculars with sudden violence saying: “QUIET! I’m a very good stalker!”

She made us switch cars, and wear wigs and different outfits to appear incognito so the boys wouldn’t recognize us. She was a riot. We would bake cookies, and movie hop all day long. Frequently going to the pet store, and thrift shops…Disneyland, theme parks, Halloween parties…

The Cruxshadows was her favorite band, and she said the song “Marilyn My Bitterness” reminded her of how she felt about her best friend (the one I mentioned from earlier). So many delightful memories, mixed in with the deep and meaningful. We used to read Anne Rice, and devise a plan to go to the vampire ball. I’m finally going—but not with her.

She always stood up for me, had my back when I needed her most. Around the time I was involved with my narcissistic ex, cruxshadows and I went to death guild to dance. My ex kept appearing wherever I was, trying to physically intimidate me. Finally I asked him what he wanted, and it escalated to him manipulating me into letting him give me a ride home. Cruxshadows darted in between us put her arms out at her sides to shield me s reaming: “NO!”

There was a brief silence, where my ex looked perplexed by her actions. Cruxshadows said to me: “I’m sorry Megan, he’s always been nice to me, but I can’t shake the feeling that he’s not a good guy.” She begged me not to go with him, but I did. She was furious with me. Boy, how right she was.

These are just small examples… but I was there for her through all her break ups… I stood by her when anyone treated her unfairly. We moved to different areas and got just with our lives… but I always assumed we were like sisters… that the connection would always be there—because every time we met up after not seeing each other for ages, we just picked up where we left off.

I know weddings are expensive, and it looks like it was a very intimate affair, she only had two bridesmaids… I wasn’t expecting to be a bridesmaid, but I thought… I guess I just can’t take it personally. I don’t know why this hurts so much.

Truthfully, I am longing for female friendship. Yet, no matter how hard I try, I don’t end up being a priority in anyones life…the way I make them in mine.

My therapist is pretty annoying actually, she said basically that I’m putting energy into relationships with people who don’t care about me. Sometimes that feels like the story of my life. Not to sound dramatic, but it’s really true. Honestly if I didn’t have Yury… I dunno. I really think I would have still been on drugs and would probably be dead by now. The loneliness and feelings of worthlessness were always what fueled my substance abuse.

Always was a lonely child. I remember watching other children play on the playground, wishing I had a one true best friend. People thought I was weird. It was hard for me to make friends, and so I was picked on for being different.

Maybe that comedian was right—maybe I am unlikeable.

I overshare, my feelings are very intense, I have a temper, and I tend to be self involved (though I really, honestly don’t mean to be!) it’s just that I was left alone so much as a child… I had to invent people to play with me. I survived all the traumas of my life by escaping into my overactive imagination. My Pisces moon and fanciful nature insulated me from the harsh realities of the world, and as a result of having only my own company to keep, I get stuck in my head on a loop, and my myopic eyes can’t see outside anything else at times.

Deep down I know I have a good heart, and I have tremendous empathy for others. I feel like I have spent my whole life taking care of broken people. Hoping that fixing them would fix me—so I wouldn’t be broken anymore. All the intensity of my self karma… is off putting to others. It has made me hard to be around. I try SO VERY HARD to hide this. Try so hard to only discuss fun and happy things. I’m terrified to open up to people, because it’s like opening Pandora’s box of evil. All my trauma comes billowing out like a coiling miasma. Taking the lid off that can of worms is like screaming black blood in peoples faces—exorcist style. No wonder no one wants to be around me.

That’s only when I open up though. For the last few years, I won’t do that. I try to keep conversation light and breezy. “do not let others see the darkness within. Don’t let anyone know that you’re tainted.” How dramatic this all sounds. So dreadfully boring.

With cruxshadows … I know… this can’t be the reason. She opened up to me just as deeply as I did to her. Perhaps the ravages of time made her forget about me. I should have made more of an effort���. Yet, I remember texting her often, and her always being too busy. Eventually, I stopped trying. It takes two people to create a relationship.

Sometimes we outgrow each other.

I am trying to be rational, they only had only so many seats to work with, weddings are expensive. I just didn’t make the cut because it was an intimate affair. I hope. Doesn’t make it hurt any less.

[rencesworld]

How they react to you wearing something sexy at a party.

Suna x Black Reader, Oikawa x Black Reader, Iwaizumi x Black Reader, Kuroo x Black Reader

Warnings: swear words, smut mentions, all the boys are 18

Also the pictures are just demonstration of the dress the reader is wearing cuz I suck at describing stuff😭

Also, English is not my first language. So sorry for the errors!

Suna

The Miya(Atsumu’s idea)twins were having a Halloween party at their house, so of course you and Suna were invited.

Though Suna didn’t want to go, he only went because you and Osamu, especially you, begged him to come.

You and Suna have been best friends since first year at Inarizaki High School. You've had feelings for the sleepy fox eyed boy since the first day you met him.

You were thinking about confessing to him soon because your feelings for him grew stronger and it frustrated you. It's not that you're scared of rejection(you are) but you're scared ruining a perfect friendship. You don't want to lose the only friendship you valued the most because of your feelings getting in the way.

Osamu and Aran are the only ones who know about your crush for Suna, and every day they encourage you to confess to him.

You had ordered this sexy bunny costume hoping it would get here before the party, and lucky you, it did.

You ordered this costume because one, you wanted to look good and show skin. Two, you've always wanted to wear the Bunny costume for the longest, but you've never had the confidence to wear anything that revealing. Three, you wanted to surprise Suna(get some dick).

At the party.

You saw Suna in the kitchen, sitting on the kitchen counter using his phone.

When Suna saw you, he was SHOOK!

You looked extoic. You had a black curly lace wig(or any other hairstyles you prefer). You did a very light makeup, eyeliner, mascara(or fake lashes), and a dark brown lip liner with lip gloss(or any lip gloss/lipstick you prefer).

Suna felt like he was falling in love with you over and over again when he saw you with that costume. As you were walking over to him with a little smirk, knowing what you were doing to him, honestly turned him on. He could tell how confident you are due to the way you are swaying your hips a little and how you flipped your hair, when walking towards his way.

“Suna! Do you like the costume?” you asked, as you wrapped your arms around his neck and making sure to press you chest against his.

Baby boy was flustered and horny. All he could think about was all the dirty things he would do to you while wearing the costume, but was also shy and ashamed that he was thinking of his best friend like that.

But after a minute, he came to his senses and realized that you were teasing him on purpose and he wasn't about to let you tease him that.

Suna starts to rub your mid back close to touching you butt and bites his lips, “You look very good,” his voice getting deeper, and raspy.

The way Suna was staring at you was starting to really turn you on. He was looking at you , like you were his last meal. His voice sounded so tempting, ready to make you go on your knees.

“Prove it Rintarou.” You said seductive while pulling him close to your face. “Prove to me how good you think I look,” pulling him down closer, lips almost touching. He didn’t wait a second to prove it to you, he pressed his lips against yours. The kiss was filled with love, passion, but also sloppy, slow, and sensational.

He definitely proved how good you looked that night…(wink wink).

Oikawa

It was your 18th birthday and Oikawa had planned for you a birthday party.

You bought this pink dress that you fell in love with instantly and knew Oikawa was going to love it. You got the shoes and the purse that matched with the dress.

You finished getting ready, your hair, nails, and makeup was done. Your outfit on, ready to take some pictures.

The doorbell rang which meant Oikawa was here to pick you up. You checked again in the mirror making sure everything was good. You walked down the stairs to open the door.

When Oikawa saw you, this boy gasped so loud, you flinched a little. “Baby! you look beautiful,” he said as he grabbed your hand to twirl you around to admire you more.

After, he pulled you in for hug and as he hugged you he tried to cupped all your ass, “I love how the dress hugs your body so perfectly. Your beautiful curves are showing, your ass looks mighty good.” He rubs your butt.

“Thank you Toru, let’s go now so we won’t keep everyone waiting any longer for the birthday girl,” you said giggling and loving the affection he was giving you.

“I can’t wait to show you off to everyone at the party. You’re breathtaking, I mean you’re always breathtaking but in this dress, you’re glowing.” He grabs your hand leading you out.

You guys make it to the party and Oikawa wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to show you off to everyone.

“Look at my Princess, doesn’t she look stunning? Wait let me rephrase that, She looks absolutely stunning!”

“Iwa-Chan, look at Y/N! She’s divine!”

“Iwa-Chan, take pictures of me and Y/N, I need the whole world to see how stunning she looks tonight.”

He made sure to let everyone know how amazing you looked tonight, he even made sure to prove to you more how beautiful you looked privately.😏

Iwaizumi

It was Oikawa's birthday party. You and Oikawa were best friends and his only present from you was to make Hajime flustered and of course you agreed, because you love teasing Iwa.

Oikawa just loves seeing mean Iwaizumi flustered. So, Oikawa came up with a plan to go shopping for the outfits for his party. You both wanted to get something sexy to wear for the party.

The day finally came and you got ready for the party. Your hair was slayed, nails were popping, makeup on point. You knew the dress you were wearing was definitely going to leave Iwa stunned.

You made it to the party a little early since Oikawa texted to come fast before Iwa was there.

“Iwa-Chan is going to be amazed by your beauty Y/N! I can’t wait to see his reaction!” Oikawa says with so much excitement while stares at you in awe.

Before you can respond back to Oikawa you saw Iwa walking in the house, “well, we are about to see his reaction now.” Oikawa turned and smirked when he saw Iwaziumi’s standing by the door frame looking around, probably looking for you and Oikawa, “Iwa-Chan! Over here!” Oikawa yelled over to Iwaziumi. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes hearing Oikawas voice, he started walking towards yall but stopped when he saw you.

He was breathless seeing you in that dress, your body fitted so right in that dress. Seeing how your boobs were showing out a little too much riled him up, but not in a bad way.😌

Iwaizumi started blushing from the thoughts he was having of you, he felt so embarrassed. Oikawa smirked at how flustered Iwaizumi was, “Iwa-Chan, aren’t you going to compliment Y/N-Chan, instead of just standing there gaping at her,” Oikawa teased.

“Shut up Shittykawa, I was going to compliment her but you interrupted me, asshole,” he said walking up to you and pulling you by the waist, “you look beautiful, Love,” he kissed you.

“Thank you Haji,” you softly giggled when you saw the tint blush on his cheeks. “Awe, I want a girlfriend now,” Oikawa said, both of you guys forgetting he was still standing there. “Then go find one, you are surrounded by so many people,” you said.

The whole night, Iwaizumi would not keep his hand or eyes off of you, he was craving you badly and it showed. You weren’t complaining with the attention you were receiving from him, in fact it encouraged you more to tease him all night.

With all the teasing you did at the party, you knew you were in for it😏.

Kuroo

Bokuto was throwing a graduation party for the 3rd years that were graduating, so of course you and Kuro were invited.

Kuroo was the one who bought the dress at the mall. You guys were out shopping for outfits for the party. “Baby, how about this dress. You would look really good in it,” holding the dress out for you to see it. You studied the dress, “don’t you think it’s a bit short,” you said, “that’s the whole point Chibi-Chan,” he smirked.

You decided that you would get it because you really did love the dress. After 10 minutes of arguing about who’s going to pay, you gave up because you knew Kuroo wasn’t going to give up. “Chibi-Chan, what kind of man would I be to pick out a dress for you to wear and make you pay for it. I would be a terrible boyfriend and I’m never that,” he says dramatically.

At the party

You made it to the party with a couple of you friends.

You start to look for Kuroo, to find him and Bokuto dancing but from the looks of it, it looks like are competing against each other to see who’s a better dancer.

“Look, Kuroo can you do this? Huh? Huh?” Bokuto said, doing some weird dance moves. You started laughing at their little competition and how silly they looked.

Kuroo looked your way, “Kitten, you look stunning as always,” he smirks walking your way to give you a little twirl, smacking your butt in between the twirl.

“Are you made out of fluorine, iodine, and neon? Because you’re FINE.”

You laughed at his lame pick up line, as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. “Thank you,Tetsu.”

Kuroo was in love with how the dress fitted your curves so well, he mostly loved how your butt looks in it. He couldn’t help himself from rubbing your butt. “Tetsu! The dress is too short for you to be rubbing it like that,” you said looking around to make sure nobody was staring at you guys.

Kuroo smirked, still continuing to rub your butt. “I can’t help it. Your body just looks amazing in that dress, especially your ass.” He says pecking your lips a few times.

The entire night, Kuroo would not keep his hands away from your butt. He just loved how short the dress was and how it made your butt stick out more.

“Are you made of Nickel, Cerium, arsenic and sulfur? Because you got a NiCe AsS!”

Y’all know what happened after the party😉

[atalho-s]

Light Up The Dark

Part 2 | We are accidents waiting to happen

pairing: bartender!tom x famous!reader

warnings: smut +18 miniors dni, swear words?, drinking, let me know if anything else!

words: 5.0 k

a/n: english it’s not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! I don’t have a taglist yet, but if you want to be tagged in the next chapters let me know!! 

PART 2 if you want to read part 1 click here! 

It was already Saturday. The day Y/n took for herself. Writing was extraordinary, but she loved having a day off to take care of herself. She spent the day doing things she enjoyed, whether it was lying in bed watching a movie or trying to cook something.

After the fateful day of writer's block she started writing like crazy, so she didn't feel guilty about taking a day off without thinking about her characters and how they would get out of the challenges she had created for them.

The fateful day. For some reason she kept thinking about that damned Brit with that accent. For a moment she'd been scared that she'd been seen by paparazzi hanging out with the mysterious bartender, or even some picture of him leaving her apartment. But nothing came out in the news on the gossip sites, which made her relieved.

As much as she deserved to have fun once in a while and wasn't doing anything wrong, she still didn't want to bring attention to herself and even less to a guy who wasn't even famous. She was afraid to put anyone who wasn't famous in the media. Fear that one day suddenly, this person might be persecuted because of her.

Anyway, it had just been a crazy night. Nothing much. And she didn't intend to see him again. So she had nothing to worry about.

Sitting down in the kitchen counter with her familiar cup of coffee she got lost in some thoughts. Why hadn't she stopped thinking about him ever since? It had been a great night, but that was all. She didn't even know him well.

Maybe it was because her creative block had been broken after being with him. But obviously it was just a coincidence. She had just felt inspired after a distraction.

She shook his head away from the thoughts and placed the cup in the sink. She took a deep breath and thought about what to do next. But before she could think of anything else her cell phone started ringing on the counter. She was almost jump by the sudden sound, seeing the screen indicating that it was Milla, her agent, who had become one of her best friends.

- Hi Mil! - she said after sliding the screen.

- Good morning baby. - she said on the other end of the line. - Ready for the party?

- Party? What a party? - Y/n asked confused starting to wash the small amount ofdishes she had soiled.

- How you don't know? I thought I sent you the invitation on your email and I even sent you a message!

- Bestie, I haven't seen my email or message for days. I was super focused on the book, my writer's block finally went away.

- Really? I knew that would go away! You were worried for nothing. What did you do to go back to writing? - Milla asked and Y/n smiled a little.

- Well... I just went out to chill out a bit...Nothing much.

- Y/n getting out on weekdays? And even on the days you're writing a book? That's what I call grow. - she said and Y/n rolled her eyes laughing. - I'm even afraid to invite you to parties, because I know when you're writing you hate to go out... But it's good to know that you're getting out of your routine a little...

- Yeah, sometimes it's good to breathe new air. - Y/n replied drying his hands on a towel. - But what party are you talking about?

- A party of none other than Emma Brown. - Y/n snorted. Emma Brown was a great actress who to tell the truth she didn't know much, she only knew her from a couple of her movies, but other than that she didn't know much about her.

But what she did know was that she had some also famous friends of questionable taste. They were those famous people who only knew about money, women, cars and mansions. But she was tipped for a theatrical adaptation of one of her books and she wanted everything to come out perfect. She was very afraid the movie would end up ruining her work.

- Do I really have to go? - She asked in a tearful voice.

- Yes you have! It's going to be a really fancy birthday party for her, all the famous people in the industry are going to be there. You know you have to socialize with these people. Who knows, you can make some important friendships...

- Milla... I don't know... I don't need important friendships. I don't need anyone to stand up or approach others for interest.

- I know you don't need anyone for that... I just meant that you're very isolated, you need to make connections, understand? I know it's hard because you hate all that fame and stuff. But if you want the adaptation of your story to be good, there's no way... Besides, one of the great directors you left me on the list to research will be there too. So it would be really cool to kill two birds with one stone. - Milla said and Y/n sighed. She was right, if she wanted everything to work out she had to at least have a conversation with these people. It would be weird to refuse Emma's invitation to her birthday. It would just show that she was uninterested.

- Okay... You won ok? - She said and Milla gave an excited squeal. - But I won't stay long!

- Okay, okay... Just for you to go is great! Andrew will be there shortly for you to choose a dress. -Andrew was her stylist and she practically jumped every time Y/n had an important event, because it was rare for her to go. Good thing he didn't just have her as a client, because otherwise he'd be bored out of his mind for a long time.

- Okay Mil, thank you... I love you! - She said and Milla said goodbye hanging up the phone.

It was late afternoon when Andrew arrived at her apartment with several suitcases and bags in both hands. He really had brought up thousands of options. But Y/n ended up choosing a slightly shiny black dress that went just above the knee with a V-neck. Something cute, but nothing too fancy.

He did her makeup. Which wasn't too heavy either, as she hated things that were too heavy on her face. Finally she put on a mid-heeled sandal in the same color as the dress and her sparkly earrings. Before Andrew left her apartment satisfied with the result.

It was almost 7:30 pm when a black car that would take her to the party location arrived in front of her building and she got out enter the backseat right after. She was apprehensive. She hated socializing to tell the truth. Large crowds and cameras really made her anxious.

After almost 20 minutes the car stopped in front of what appeared to be a large gate. Several paparazzi showed up and started taking pictures of her car surrounding her or even tapping on the window a little, asking her if she could talk to them. Which she obviously ignored. The driver introduced himself to the doorman and he opened the gate letting the car pass and stop in front of a luxurious mansion.

Some people were coming in and others were standing in front talking. She saw that there were some familiar faces of the media. Actresses, actors, singers, famous people of every imaginable type.

She opened the car door and walked out towards the large entrance. She smiled at a few people, nodding her head as she passed and found herself in a crowd of people as she entered the place. There really were a lot of people, despite the place being even bigger inside. Many with fancy drinks in hand and chatting. A song playing on the background.

She walked deeper into the room and took a quick look around trying to find the birthday girl. After a few minutes she found her near one of the sofas. Y/n walked over and stopped beside her, causing Emma to stop her conversation with two more people and look at her.

- Happy Birthday! - Y/n said in the friendliest way possible and Emma smirked and hugged her lightly afterwards.

- Thank you! Glad you came! - she said, breaking out of the hug after a few seconds.

- Your party is very beautiful, I loved the decoration. - Y/n said looking around. Indeed Emma had decorated the place in a simple way, but at the same time fancy and beautiful.

- Oh thank you... - she said, still smiling. - I'm very happy that you accepted my invitation, we have a lot to talk about since maybe we'll work together, right?

- No problem, obviously I would come... - Y/n said and almost punched herself because she was very fake in saying that. - But we really have to talk!

- Well, I was talking to Jim just now... I can give you his number later... He's a great director and I think it would be great for your adaptation... - Emma said and Y/n thought that she was really interested in that adaptation, because she was even talking to the possible renowned director, which surprised her. She thought Emma was a little more oblivious to her books and even movie stuff. She thought she was one of those famous actresses who expected others to come after her, not being interested in the work itself, but only on the fame and money. - We love your book! I think it has great potential for a grand adaptation.

- Wow, that is good to hear! Thanks a lot! - Y/n said sincerely this time. - I'll love talking to him too...

- Sure! - She looked behind Y/n and motioned to someone from far away. - Hey Jim! You can come here? - She asked speaking loudly for him to hear and Y/n turned around watching the director approaching after saying goodbye to someone. He wasn't much older than she thought, maybe in his early thirties, he wore a small beard that fit his face and short hair, but with curls that jutted out around his head. -That's Y/n... Y/n that's Jim...-Emma said when he got in front of her and Jim held out his hand with a smile.

- Nice to meet Y/n, we finally met... - he said and Y/n shook his hand also smiling.

- Nice to meet you Jim! - She said and Emma sat in one of the armchairs indicating for the two to sit, which they did next.

- Do you two want something to drink? Champagne?- Emma asked and they both accepted as she motioned for someone from far away to bring them.

- Well, I found your book very intriguing Y/n... I can say I haven't slept for a while... - Jim said laughing a little and Y/n smiled. - It's a very well written story, I loved the plots and it has a great resolution. I think I would make a good 2 hour movie with all this material... - he said and Y/n paid attention until something took her a little out of focus. Something not. Somebody.

It was the waiter, and not just any waiter. It was Tom. He came into her vision and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Maybe it was a mirage or she was mistaking him for someone else. But when he approached she was sure it was him. He came with a tray with drinks in one hand. He was wering a white dress shirt, with black pants. The typical pattern of a fancy party waiter. But he was beautiful. Y/n felt a shiver for a moment and tried to hide it by looking back at Jim who was still talking about his plans for the possible movie.

Maybe Tom didn't even remember her. She was just a one-night stand, he should do that with a lot of girls out there, so it wasn't something new to him. As soon as he arrived, he handed one of the glasses to Emma beside her and Y/n felt her breath quicken a little. She didn't know why she was so nervous. It was just a waiter she had slept with a few days ago.

- Excuse me... - he said and Y/n looked up at him quickly seeing that he was right in front of him. -Here it is miss...-he said looking her in the eyes and then winking at her, wich almost make her shrink in her chair. He held out the tray for her to take one of the glasses and she did, looking away at Jim.

- So, what do you think? - Jim asked taking the glass from the tray and Y/n took a sip of his surprise drink.

- Sorry? - She asked guiltily for having been distracted.

- About us meeting and having a meeting next week? That way I can show you my idea better. - he said and Y/n smiled.

- Of course, that would be great! - she said and Tom walked away not looking in her direction again, which left her disappointed for a second. She would going to love looking into those eyes again.

- Perfect! - Jim replied excitedly and started talking about other things as well as Emma.

They talked for almost an hour, until Emma went to talk to other people and Jim said he was leaving as he had some work in the morning. Y/n sat for a while and finished drinking the last of her champagne and placed it on the table in front of her.

She thought about leaving. She had already done the important interactions for the night. So, she had no reason to stay there. But she kept thinking about the damn waiter. Would it be weird to go talk to him? Maybe just say hi? But she doubted he would want to talk to her. Besides, he was working. She didn't want to get in his way.

Getting up from her chair and straightening her dress, she forced her steps towards the exit, but stopped midway as she saw Tom walking into what appeared to be the kitchen with the tray tucked under his arm. She looked at the exit door and sighed. Okay, if she went to him just to say hi, it wouldn't hurt would it?

Y/n turned and headed in the direction that Tom had gone. She couldn't even believe she was doing it this. She would looked ridiculous in his eyes. But she choose to ignore the little voice of reason again. Passing by a few people, and walking out into a empty hallway, she opening a single door at end. She closed in behind her and turned to see that Tom was on his back piling some boxes in a corner. His muscles in that outfit made her feel tempted somehow, so she swallowed hard. He turned at the sound of the door closing and looked at her with a mixture of confusion and curiosity.

- Looking for something madam? - He asked with a smirk.

- Actually... - Y/n thought of some excuse, maybe it would be better, so it would seem that she was there for something else and not for him. - Yeah... I was looking for the bathroom, I think I take the wrong direction...

- Yeah...Actually, the bathroom is on the other side of the hallway... - he said leaning against the kitchen counter and looking her up and down, making her feel completely vulnerable. After his eyes roamed her legs and bust, they came to her face and he grinned.

- Okay, I'll... - Y/n started saying and turned around taking a few steps. But she stopped midway, closing his eyes, tearing himself apart from the inside out of embarrassment. She turned around again seeing that he was still watching her, now with his arms crossed over his chest, wondering what she would do next. - You remember me don't you? - She asked fearfully.

- Of course I remember darling... - he said, practically intensifying his accent in that nickname that was so perfect in his voice. Y/n took a few steps forward also crossing her arms. - How could I forget the famous writer Y/n?- He raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes with his last sentence.

- It really was an...- She looked at her feet trying to find a word. - Interesting night… - she finally said and he chuckled, making her look up.

- Very interesting indeed... - he said putting his hands in his front pockets, pulling himself away from the counter and heading towards her. Y/n wanted to say goodbye and leave, run away as fast as possible. But she couldn't, every move he did was too tempting, so she just stood there watching him get closer and closer to her. He stopped in front of her and looked into her eyes, smiling slightly.

- What are you doing here? Do you work as a waiter at parties too? - Y/n asked curiously.

- My boss sometimes receives proposals for us to work at these rich parties... - he said with a shrug.

- Oh... Nice... - she said crossing her arms. - Well...Now I really have to go... - she said trying to get away from it one last time.

- Why did you really come here love? -Tom asked tilting his head a little to the side and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

- I told you, I was looking for the bathroom. -Y/n looked at his face trying to be firm, but saw that he still wore that smirk. Why did he have to be so confident like that?

- Oh sure... Just like you also looked for some excuse that day for me to leave, but failed miserably?- he asked making a thoughtful face and she still hadn't decided if she wanted to slap him or kiss him.

- Why did you leave without saying goodbye tho? - She asked ignoring what he had said.

- So that's why you came after me? Are you hurt that I didn't leave you a goodbye kiss? - he said pouting.

- Of course not, I just... I don't know, it would be nice to say that you were leaving and that you wouldn't stay for breakfast... - Y/n said looking to the side, avoiding those brown eyes that intimidated her.

- Darling, I'm not that type guy, sorry...

- What type of guy? - she still avoided looking at him.

- The type who stay for breakfeast. -he said taking a hand from her pocket and taking her chin gently, making her look at him. - But if you want some fun I'm at your disposal. -he said and she bit her lower lip lightly making him deviate his eyes towards her lips. - Do you want darling?- he asked quietly and Y/n seemed to be transfixed by her touch. She was surrendered, she couldn't deny it. Maybe even hypnotized.

- I...- she said with a little shaky voice. - I don't know...

- Yes or no?- he asked looking from her lips to her eyes and she felt her breath getting heavy.

- Yes...- she just spoke as a whisper and he smiled satisfied.

- How about you meet me in 15 minutes in the bathroom of the pool house? - He said and she just shook her head slowly. Tom released her chin and backed away slowly, not taking his eyes off her, and then walked away leaving her alone with her heart racing.

Y/n took a deep breath and tried to place herself in what had just happened. Did she really want this? Her mind could try to hear the voice of reason, but it was drowned out by her body's reaction. She wanted to feel him again.

She walked away quickly, passing several people who were talking loudly or who were already drunk. She looked around and saw the door that led to the back side and sneak there, getting out and feeling the slightly chilly night air, closing the sliding door behind her.

She saw the pool that had some people around it and a little further to the right a door that opened into another closed space. Probably the pool house. She walked over there, trying to hide it so no one would see her, and went inside. She closed the front door slowly and headed towards the bathroom.

The place was dark, with only the lights outside. So she was holding her hand into to some stuff until he found the door. She went in and turned on the light. The bathroom was spacious, with a large sink and a huge mirror in front of it. She closed herself off and looked at herself in the reflection.

That was crazy. She had never done that at parties. Not even when she was drunk. And now she was there, looking forward to what might happen. In fact she knew what was going to happen, just as she knew when she invited him up to her apartment that night. But even so, she felt butterflies in her stomach in anticipation.

After almost 10 minutes of waiting she heard the bathroom door open and she turned in the direction, feeling extremely anxious. Tom came in looking over his shoulder and closed the door soon after, looking at her with an opening grin. He locked the door slowly with one hand and came towards her in a hurry.

The next thing she felt was his lips pressing against hers urgently. He kissed her like it was the last thing he would do. Running her tongue over her lips asking permission and Y/n opened it slowly letting him explore her mouth with his burning tongue.

She ran her hand around the back of his neck pulling his hair and he responded by holding her waist tightly. Tom walked forward and she leaned her back against the sink counter. Making him lift her with agility, sitting her down on the cold surface and getting between her legs. She grunted in surprise against his mouth and he broke the kiss for air. Kissing from her neck to her collarbone and she closed her eyes feeling his touch.

- Tom... - she said in a low voice. - You won't get in trouble if you disappear like that? -he now kissed her neckline and squeezed her thigh with desire.

- Not if we're fast darling. -He spoke a bit husky, moving his kisses to her earlobe, biting lightly and she moaned low. - And despite loving your sounds, you will have to be silent. - He looked at her smiling maliciously. - Promise? -He spoke touching her nose with his lightly, looking at her closely, and she nodded making him attack her lips next.

Still kissing her he pulled the hem of her dress up a little and she bit his lip making him smile against the kiss. Her fingers reached her inner thigh and then moved up to her panties. Tom put the fabric aside with one of her fingers and passed one slowly at her entrance feeling her wetness.

- Always ready for me aren't you darling? -He said pulling his mouth away from hers, staying just a few centimeters away from her. She moaned softly again and he smiled as he pulled her fingers away and replaced them around her thighs pulling her closer to the edge of the sink.  He started to finger her really slowly and she bite her lips, trying to control her moaning. Tom keep his pace just watching her face squirm with pleasure. After seconds he removed his delicious fingers making her almost protest out loud, makind him smile even more. If wasn't for the rush he would definitively make his time with you.

Y/n then put his hands on the collar of his shirt and opened the first buttons. Kissing his neck with desire, making him squeeze her thighs in response. Biting her lips he unfastened his belt and then the buttons of his pants pulled them down along with his boxers, revealing his cock. He pulled her in for one more kiss before taking the condom package from his pocket and opening it, meanwhile Y/n was kissing uncovered place she could reach, from his face to his chest, opening more buttons of his shirt.

Tom adjusted the condom on his cock before taking a few thrusts. He moved even closer to her, if that was even possible, and gave her a peck.

- Ready? He spoke softly against her lips and she nodded almost in despair, wanting to feel him inside her more than anything.

He smiled once more and slid his cock easily as she was completely wet. Tom growled low against her ear and Y/n bit her lip so no sound could come out. He started to move, after she was more adjusted to his size, at first slowly and starting to increase his pace with each second.

-Fuck... - he cursed softly against her ear and she pulled the hair from his neck with one hand, while the other squeezed his shoulder. The more he increased the pace she felt as if she were coming off the ground. - So tight darling... - he said between small grunts. - Feels so good...

- Tom... - Y/n spoke and he increased the pace even more making her moan with the sudden sensation of pleasure and he muffled her sounds by sticking his lips on hers.

-Shh… - he said after moving his lips from hers and Y/n tried her best to keep the sounds to herself, but he filled her perfectly and made her feel so good that she couldn't help it. Tom smirked and put his hand over her mouth, covering her moans. - Can't contain yourself? -he said and kissed her neck giving light bites and hickeys. -You're so easy for me, love... Look at you...- he spoke in a low voice, while still holding his hand firm in her mouth and kissing below her ear. - So easy...- he said going faster, as if it were possible, and bit his lower lip trying to contain his own moans this time, touching his nose to her cheek.

- Please…- she managed to speak muffled against his hand, feeling her orgasm quickly building.

- I know sweetheart... - he said making her feel his heavy breath into her cheek. -I got you ...-he finally said and that was enough for her orgasm to release with force, making him also come right after her with one last muffled grunt against her neck. He continued to move slowly for a few more seconds, before coming to a complete stop. The two of them with their breaths out of control. Reaching their high.

After a few minutes Tom took his hand from her mouth and soon after took his member out of her slowly. The two were silent the entire time. Y/n felt empty as  soonTom walked away to clean up, still half dazed from all the pleasure she just felt. He cleaned himself up and discarded the condom, zipping his pants and turned around, buttoning his shirt right away. Y/n didn't take her eyes off every move he made and he smiled approaching her.

- Want some help darling? - he asked standing in front of her and she held in his arms before he helped her getting down from the sink. She felt a little dizzy and if it wasn't for him holding her she thought she would fall. - You're right? - he asked still holding her on her waist.

- Yes...Thank you... - she managed to say.

- Well, I have to go, before they notice that I'm gone... - he said, releasing her.

- Of course... - Y/n said. - Tom… - she didn't know what to say. It might be the second time they'd done this, but it still felt like it was the first and she felt somewhat embarrassed. Maybe because she wasn't used to casual sex.

- See you soon? - He said giving a quick kiss on her cheek, fixing his hair in the best way he could and winking as he walked away, going to the door and unlocking it. He got out and closed it behind him while she back staring into the mirror.

She took a deep breath and was trying to figure out what to do next. After cleaning her up she finally got out of there. She crawled to the door and managed to get through the party without the weird looks she thought everyone would send to her when they bumped into her. For some reason she thought everyone would know, but obviously not. She felt weird doing that at an party, it really wasn't like her. But why did she feel so good?

She looked around before heading out of the house, but she didn't find Tom in her vision and she didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She wanted to look at him one last time from afar, but at the same time she didn't. Maybe that was the last time they were going to do that. She didn't think she'd find him like this anywhere else, and she didn't intend to go to the bar he worked at just to get another night with him. Besides, that's what she was, just one night, just a "quickie" in the bathroom. And everything was fine. He was that for her too, so what did it matter?

For a moment she felt his head fill with ideas. Y/n had a perfect plot for her story now. She had to go home and get back to writing right away. Calling the driver from a distance, she practically ran towards the car.

[alltooreid]

All Too Well

Spencer must go to him and Y/N’s once shared apartment to clean out his things and leave her life forever. While there he can’t help but look back on his actions, the ones that made him lose the love of his life forever

A/N: Hi!! This is my first fanfic ever published on here and I’m excited to share it with you all! It’s inspired by one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs All Too Well, but although I utilized some of the lyrical genius and imagery from it, the story is not the same as the story in the song. This is a very angsty fic, and there is not a happy ending. Although there are some cute fluffy elements, including a Reid’s purple scarf origin story, I would in no way call this happy. Additionally, because of a reason you may later realize, the content warnings are very vague. If anything even slightly mentioned in them may affect you, I advise you to maybe stay clear. On a lighter note, if anyone wants to request anything, whether it’s another song inspired fic or a general plot line you would like to see please do so!! Also sorry this is kinda short, I’m still learning but I’m really proud of this one :))

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Type: Very Angsty, Not a Happy Ending, (Y/N and Spencer do not end up together)

Word Count: 2.4k

Content Warnings(try to ignore if you would prefer to stay surprised): slight cursing, discussions of death and gore, discussion of car crash

Things to Know: Italics and bold are flashback moments :) let me know what you think!

“But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence And it smells like me You can't get rid of it 'Cause you remember it all too well”

Spencer was packing up his things, finally getting the chance to clear out and move from the apartment he and Y/N once shared.  Their relationship was rocky and unconventional but he loved her all the same. Even though he left her broken-hearted and destroyed his most cherished relationship. Even though Y/N’s parents now hated him because of what he did to her. Even though hope of repairing what they once had was long gone and there was nothing else he could do about it. Even though he had torn up the masterpiece they once had together. He still loved her so much.

But the magic was gone and so was she. 

Now Spencer was left with memories, and since the apartment they lived in was hers instead of his, filed entirely under hers and her parents name. In his excessive knowledge and wisdom, Spencer Reid struggled to understand how the kitchen where Y/N told him she loved him for the first time as he lit the candle on the collapsing confetti cake he had attempted to bake for her birthday was in no way legally tied to him. 

“Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to Y/N! Happy birthday to you!” Spencer sang as he lit the single pink birthday candle he found after rummaging through his desk drawers for longer than he cared to admit. He knew it was in there somewhere, but at the same time there was a whole lot in there. 

As he looked at her face, eyes welling up with tears as she took in the sad, homemade excuse for a birthday party Spencer had thrown together after they got back from a case hours before, he couldn’t help but feel he should have done more. He wanted to take her to New York, where they would’ve enjoyed fine dining and one of those incredibly detailed floral frosting cakes he knew Y/N was infatuated with. 

However, the case in Oregon ran long. They had only returned to their apartment 2 hours ago, hours past their 7pm dinner reservations. Although Y/N tried to hide her disappointment, you don’t need to be a profiler to know that someone wants to celebrate their own birthday. So although they had agreed to go to bed and play everything by ear tomorrow, the young genius had, what he would still argue to be, his most brilliant idea when he saw Y/N asleep once he got out of the shower.

It was still her birthday.

And Spencer had just under 2 hours to throw you a party. 

So sure, Y/N deserved more than a cake that was definitely not cool enough to frost, but was frosted anyway due to time constraints. And she definitely deserved more than present hastily wrapped in his printed out articles and newspaper clippings. Spencer wished that he had time to go buy new candles, instead of lighting a green sparkly number 7 because it was all he could find.

But it was almost midnight, and that meant he only had 18 minutes before it wasn’t Y/N’s birthday anymore.

So instead of dwelling on it, he headed to their bedroom, shook her awake and watched her roll over to face him. He watched the smile overtake her face as she said the stupid party hat he was wearing, made out of a pom pom and a wedding invitation.

“Hey birthday girl,” he said softly, “you do realize you’re sleeping through your party right?”

She looked so happy that night, even as she saw the way too messy kitchen and her birthday cake that was melting by the second. She laughed as Spencer fumbled with the lighter. 

And as he finished singing her eyes started releasing tears. 

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I wish we could’ve done more for the first birthday we get to spend together. “

“No, no, no” she said as she wiped her tears away, “It’s not that at all.”

She smiled and looked up at him “I just love you so goddamn much Spencer.”

Although at one point, all Spencer knew was logic and logically Y/N had never ever known him when she filed her paperwork, the genius still struggled to grasp the concept. That even before the ending of it all, you had no legal, definite connection to her at all. 

How was nothing about this place, his? 

  All that he knew was that he had today to pack all his shit and leave. All he knew is that Y/N’s father had made it very clear none of their family wanted to see him again. 

He wished he could talk to Y/N about it. However all of his calls went to voicemail immediately. 

Logically, Spencer knew why, he had completely fucked up. 

But still, he called every single day, as there was nothing his heart wished for more than to speak to Y/N again. To apologize, to beg for forgiveness he knew he didn’t deserve.

As the cold air from the open windows blew into the apartment, Spencer couldn’t help but feel he was leaving his home behind. Everything left of her was going to be here, and he wouldn’t get to experience any part of the life you and him had once shared together anymore.

But then he saw it. 

The royal purple scarf Y/N bought the day of their first date. 

“You like this color right?” she asked as they stopped by a booth at the street festival she had taken him to. Spencer was too distracted as he watched the other couples on dates, as they walked hand and hand down the streets. He sometimes wished he could forget things like the number of germs and bacteria that lived on her hands. He at least wished he could forget long enough to gather enough courage to hold Y/N’s hand as they walked down the sidewalk.

“Hmm?” he said, looking back at her, then the scarf she was now wearing. “Oh, yeah! I love that color, it um- looks great on you.”

She smiled, then turned to the weird old guy running the stand. “How much for the scarf?” she asked.

He looked at her, then looked at Spencer, “depends which one of you is paying.”

Before Spencer could say anything, let alone pull out his wallet, Y/N already had hers out. 

“Well, for a pretty lady like you, it’s 2 dollars,” the man said.

She handed him five and turned to Spencer. “You hear that? I’m so pretty I get 80% off! Wonder what you would’ve paid huh pretty boy? He would probably owe you money.” The man handed her her change and whispered something Spence couldn’t quite catch. 

“Gross,” Y/N said as they exited the booth, “he wrote his number on my change.”

Spencer chuckled, “Did you really just buy that scarf because I like the color of it?”

She smiled, “Don’t get so cocky now Einstein, I like purple too you know? And maybe if you’re lucky I’ll let you borrow it.”

At that moment Spencer felt just okay enough to wrap his arm around Y/N’s, and she felt just right enough to wrap the new scarf around them both. 

The one she left next to her front door, after making the last minute decision to leave it at home the night of their final outing.

No one would notice if he….. Right?

Sure maybe Y/N would but what would she do about it? Hunt him down just to get a scarf she paid less than five dollars for? Definitely not. 

He wrapped it around his neck and closed his eyes, even days later he could perfectly picture Y/N singing in his car, fascinated by the autumn leaves falling around her. He felt the wind in his hair, but instead of the cold, dreary air from the open apartment window, he swore he could remember the warm air from that October night. 

“Spencer I know you hate it but please, please, please. I’m so tired.”

“Sweetheart you’re not tired, you’re drunk. Of course I have to drive you home.”

“Oh, whatever.”

A phone call broke him away from his memories, it was Hotch. Spencer was angry, how effortlessly cruel of him to call him during such an emotional time. Hotch knew how much Spencer loved Y/N, the whole team did. 

So he didn’t pick up.

Instead he walked over to the coffee table they used to put their feet on when they binged watched Doctor Who together. Letting the ringtone play out in the background, Spencer picked up an old photo album Y/N’s parents must have brought out. Of course he remembered it, it was the same one they flipped through when he met Y/N’s parents for the first time. He didn’t realize she had brought it home with her.

His eyes welled up with tears as he flipped through the old school pictures, remembering how embarrassed Y/N was of her big glasses. He saw her old athlete pictures from when she used to play tee ball, and flipped through more pictures until he reached the end of your softball career, in college. 

He remembered how hard Y/N blushed when she showed him her childhood bedroom. Her twin sized bed was full of stuffed animals and her walls covered in boy band posters. 

“You know what Spencer? I don’t want to hear it. I loved and still love the BackStreet Boys and I am not ashamed of that.”

He laughed, “You know, before we started dating I always thought you were so cool and unattainable. I imagined that you had always been this chic, beautifully brilliant badass. It’s oddly comforting to know that you wore tortoiseshell glasses and had a fruitless infatuation with Nick Carter.”

She gasped, before tossing her tabby cat stuffed toy at him, “You’re about to get it!”

Once again he was called out of the memory by his phone. 

And once again he let it ring.

Spencer went into their shared bedroom, most of his things were already put into boxes for him. Honestly he was surprised that they hadn’t been set on fire or thrown away after what he did. 

Soon it was time for him to take his things down to his car.

Except it wasn’t even his car. It was Morgan’s.

“Spencer, you are the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in my entire life. I am infatuated with you, I want us to spend the rest of our lives together.”

“You sure that isn’t the alcohol talking Y/N”

“Look at me Spencer, no, no really look at me.”

He couldn’t imagine ever using his old car again after what had happened in it.

“You are my future.”

Not that he could use it again.

“You are my everything.”

It was pretty much destroyed, after that accident on that little town street.

“I want nothing more in my life, than for you to be in it.”

When he was so enamored by Y/N, so in love that he couldn’t take his eyes off her, that he ran a red light.

And the truck waiting to go didn’t stop either.

“SPENCER! SPENCER CAN YOU HEAR ME? I NEED YOU TO CALL 911!” she screamed, her voice filled with agony, her limbs mangled in a sea of crushed mental and snapped backwards by the emergency airbag she didn’t realize she was resting her feet on.

Spencer had already called 911. That was the sickest thing about it. Spencer was, physically, perfectly fine. Spencer would get to leave the hospital after just a few days. Spencer could’ve probably gotten out of the car if he tried to. But he stayed, he stayed with Y/N, as she wasn’t fine. As Spencer looked down on her broken body, and tried desperately to find just one piece of skin that wasn’t coated in blood, her blood, that is when he realized. That not only could Y/N not walk out of the hospital with him, but she probably wouldn’t even make it there.

So he sobbed, he struggled to breathe, not because of the ways Y/N did, but because he had caused all the reasons she couldn’t.

“Hey, Spencer, look at me.”

So he did, and he reached for her hands and held them so tightly, and wanted one last time to feel her squeeze back. And she did, just ever so softly. 

“Spencer, I meant everything I said to you. I want you to spend the rest of my life with me. Please.”

“I love you so much Y/N”

“I love you too.”

Spencer was drawn away from his memories once again as he got another phone call. 

But it wasn’t Hotch this time. It was Mr. Y/L/N, so he answered it. He owed him that.

“Are you out of her house yet? You’ve had hours. I want you gone Spencer.”

Spencer sighed, “I’m leaving now sir, I’m just putting the last of my things in the trunk and then I’ll be gone.”

“Good, I never want to see you again Spencer, you hear me?” Mr. Y/L/N said. “And you better not have anything of hers either. All that stuff in your car better belong to you and you only. If Y/N paid for even a dime of it it better still be in that house.”

Spencer looked down at this scarf he was wearing, the one that still smelled like her perfume. The one that he couldn’t bring himself to take off because he reminded him of so much innocence and beauty.

“Yes sir, I didn’t take anything.”

“Good. And Spencer do me a favor.”

“Anything sir.”

“Go fuck yourself.” Mr. Y/L/N said, and then hung up. Spencer sighed, he expected that and fully deserved it.

How else should a father react when you kill his daughter?

“'Cause there we are again when I loved you so Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well”

[foodieforthoughts]

Sand and Stars - Chapter Five

Series Summary: After the water pump being blown up, the insurgents in Baqubah are taking a hold of the food supply to the village. Camp Warhorse is in dire need of reinforcements. It has been eight months of submitting countless requests when the High Command commissions Sergeant Olivia Ross to take her group of men and women and help Captain Syverson and his team to restore a semblance of normalcy. But with the war raging, does it get two hearts closer too?

Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC x OMC

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: 18+, Mentions of war, military technicalities, slight angst, fluff, implied smut

A/N: Well Hello! Our dear Captain Alex has finally made an appearance! A big thank you to @thelastsock​ who is patiently beta-reading this, I love you woman with my whole heart.

<Chapter Four

Title: Chapter Five

The sun felt scorching hot on her skin as Olivia loaded her gun near the parked Humvees. A mild throbbing at the base of her skull added to the uncomfortable sensations each time she moved. She hadn’t planned to drink almost half a bottle of whiskey last night, but it was cold, and she needed the warmth.

Also, the drink had sort of been a gift from Sy.

Olivia groaned as the memories from last night flashed through her mind. She had literally invited him for a kiss, throwing herself on her Captain like a wanton whore. She felt embarrassed even thinking about it. Thankfully for her, Sy had a better judgement about entertaining drunk women and had resorted to just giving her a tight hug.

Her stomach felt queasy as a sour taste filled her mouth. She swallowed as the uncomfortable feeling set at the pit of her stomach. Running a hand over her sweat covered forehead, Olivia rested against the vehicle.

She felt worthless. Olivia couldn't shake the feeling of repeating history, despite the extreme effort of will she put her hungover mind to this time. She slung her gun over her shoulder as a distant memory of her time with Alex began flashing before her eyes.

The sound of their hurried footsteps on the marble floor echoed through the empty hall. It was almost noon, the temperature soaring high and drinks becoming difficult to keep down. Alex chuckled as Olivia pulled him towards a bathroom door, not caring whether it was for the ladies or the gents. She had been begging for Alex’s attention ever since they got to the wedding party for a fellow soldier, downing an unusual amount of alcohol before finally gathering up the courage to whisper naughty things in his ear. She had been hung over her Captain for far too long, it was time for her to finally taste him.

Olivia massaged her temple with her fingers. She had been so stupid and naïve to start something with Alex. Her Captain. She regretted it now more than ever, 3 years of hookups later. Alex had been her friend since she re-enlisted again after completing her Aviation course. Though to tell the truth she'd been crushing on him since she first laid eyes on his beautiful face. His unbridled confidence, panty-melting smile and boyish charm had worked its magic on Olivia’s mind. It wasn’t something she thought of pursuing on a long-term basis, but his sweet nature only kept driving her closer to him. She liked that he showered her with affection all the time, something her attention-starved mind craved desperately. Only she had mistaken her lust for love.

“Really? Here? You know our seniors are present out on the lawn.” Alex snickered as Olivia began undoing his belt. His blazing eyes sparkled with what was to come next, the anticipation dancing in his beautiful orbs. Dinners together had turned into overnight stays and eventually Olivia had kissed Alex one night, crossing the line of friendship with no turning back.

“We are on leave, aren’t we?” She had suggestively smiled at him, palming his bulge through his pants. She leaned in to kiss Alex, feeling the softness of his lips brushing against hers. She felt her arousal beginning to wet through the thin fabric of her panties as Alex plunged his tongue into the warm cavern of her mouth.

Olivia grinned mischievously as she hopped on the sink counter pulling Alex by his tie to stand between her legs. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pulled her in to steal another kiss. She unzipped his pants as Alex began trailing down her neck, planting soft kisses over her warm skin and cupping her breast through her dress.

“I don’t have a condom,” Alex said against the skin peeking just above her breast.

“I’m on the pill,” she shrugged and pulled his hardening cock out of its constraints. It pulsated in her hand as she pumped him. Alex groaned into her soft skin and nipped at her in retaliation, making her hiss with pleasure. She bit her lip as she watched him take over his cock and enter her aching folds. Alex let out an unrestrained moan as her warmth enveloped his throbbing member.

“Happy birthday, little birdie.” Olivia blinked as Sy appeared in front of her, smiling from under his cap. He was dressed in his combat fatigues, the vest making him look bigger than he already was. “Hangover?”

Olivia shook her head, warmth spreading over her chest as the vivid memories registered in her mind. “Just…uh, regular headache.” She smiled at her Captain. Her eyes lingered on his, mesmerized yet again by the intensely blue orbs looking back at her. She noticed the freckles on his nose and his lip and the changing shade of brown of his beard as it travelled down his neck.

“Maybe later we can have some chai while we watch the sunset?” Sy leaned against the metal body of the Humvee, one hand resting low on his hip.

Olivia tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrow. “Sunset? You do realize I fly a chopper for a living? I’ve seen my fair share of sunsets and sunrises by now.”

“But you haven’t seen a sunset with me.” A smirk formed on Sy’s lips, challenging her for another excuse.

Olivia felt a flutter in the pit of her belly and her mouth opened as she was rendered speechless. She felt herself balancing over the same dangerously thin line again. In a weird sense, this didn’t feel the same for her like it was with Alex. With him she had felt a rush of becoming reckless, but with Sy she wanted to be cautious, mindful. When he had kissed her forehead last night and embraced her, she had never felt more safe in the world like she did in that moment.

“Okay.” She nodded, “Rooftop like last night?” Olivia suggested as her unit members began getting into the Humvees, ready to head out. Sy tipped his cap in confirmation before walking towards his own team and barking orders to mount up.

Out in the desert, Olivia spent the rest of her day interacting with the locals and listening to their problems. She was following Lieutenant Pepps's orders about sympathizing with the public, to ensure they get local support in the future. As she listened to a weeping woman complain about the scarcity of food, her mind drifted back to a memory with Alex.

“What changed, Liv?” Alex pulled at her wrist, turning her around to face him. Olivia yanked at his hold, trying to free herself from his grasp. “Don’t you love me anymore?”

“Alex,” She pleaded, closing her eyes to escape this conversation. She had spent time in Afghanistan and the things she’d seen had changed her. She had seen the fragile nature of life and understood it was useless to be wasting her precious years on someone she only cared about as a friend.

“Tell me, Liv.” His voice was laced with anger, his eyes burning with hatred. “Tell me you don’t love me so that I can remove myself from your life. Because I can’t be your friend, not after all this.” He let go of her hand, slumping his shoulders as his eyes misted with tears and he fell on his knees.

Liv felt the weight of her actions crumbling her down in front of him. She never intended to hurt him, but she couldn’t love him, at least not the way he wanted her to. The possibility of losing her friend forever made her emotions win over her determination to end things with him. “I’m sorry, Alex. I’ll do better. I’m so sorry.”

Olivia sighed as she watched the sun slowly drift towards the horizon casting an orange hue over the sky. She had never gathered the courage to break things with Alex again. He had tried labelling them in a relationship, but she had avoided the topic like the plague. Their arrangement worked as they were deployed to different locations which gave her time away from him, only forcing her to pretend when they were on leave together. She grasped the Saint Christopher medal lying against her chest in her hand and felt the consequences of her actions pricking at her heart.

“Hey,” Sy called out from the doorstep leading out on the roof. He had a canteen in one hand and two cups in another. Liv had walked up to the roof as soon as they had returned to base. The parked white truck had indicated that Sy was back too but since there still had been time until sunset, she had decided to wait out alone on the roof.

“Hey,” she cleared her throat, shaking her head to ward away thoughts about Alex. She smiled weakly at Sy and walked towards him.

Sy frowned with his eyebrows scrunching together. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Did Mahmoud make the chai for us?” She changed the subject, sitting on the pile of sandbags against a wall.

“No, I did.” Sy proudly informed as he took a seat beside her.

Olivia watched as Sy poured the steaming cardamom tea in the cups and handed one to her. She breathed in the aroma before taking a sip of the hot liquid. “Incredible. When did you learn to make chai?”

“Picked up the recipe over the years.” He shrugged his shoulders, but Olivia noticed his chest puff up with pride on getting complimented on his acquired skill. Sy turned to face towards the expanse of the desert beyond the compound, silently sipping his tea.

“Captain Syverson, man of many talents.” She said in a sing-song voice and leaned back against the wall, bringing her knees up to her chest and holding her cup with both her hands.

Liv watched as Sy chuckled, his shoulders shaking with his laughter. The hair of his beard over his upper lip glistened with steam caught in it, almost urging her to wipe her hand over his mouth.

“You are staring, little birdie.” He looked at her sideways, his lips curling at the corners.

Liv rolled her eyes, but her mouth twitched with a smile forming on them. “What’s with the nickname?”

“Well you fly the Little Bird, so that makes you little Birdie.”

She laughed as he finished his sentence, looking at him to see if he was joking. “How original, Sy.” She shook her head dismissively, but a fluttery feeling settled in her heart.

“Hey, I didn’t want to call you by the names everyone used.” He defended himself, feigning hurt dramatically by clutching his left pec over his heart.

Liv continued to laugh thinking about the silly reason behind the nickname, but adding it to the list of names she already had. They sat in silence, enjoying their tea as they watched the sun dipping down the horizon with every passing minute. The sky burst into a mixed palette of orange and purple, the clouds drifting away with the wind.

She felt Sy’s eyes on her as she sipped the remnants of tea from her cup. She bit her lip feeling mischievous and commented, “You’re staring, Captain.” She tilted her head to look at him, only to feel her breath hitch as she stared into his cerulean eyes. Sy had the softest look on his face, his smile barely visible from under the bush of his beard.

“What?” She asked, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Who’s Captain Coop?”

His question caught Olivia off-guard and she blinked several times to understand that Sy had indeed asked about Alex. “Wh-what?” She tried to not stumble over her words but Sy had left her stunned.

“Yesterday, they were teasing you with his name. I just thought I should ask.” Sy’s gaze never left her face, even when he placed his cup to the side along with hers and the empty canteen.

Liv let out a slow, ragged breath. The mention of Alex’s nickname had her heart racing, her mind going through a carousel of his memories. “He was our captain, before you. My men...they were just… fooling around.” She plucked a jute strand from the sandbag she was sitting on, avoiding Sy’s stare.

She felt him shift on the bag and when she peered, she noticed him coming to stand in front of her. Liv looked up at him as his body loomed over hers. He bent down so as his face was right in front of her.

“So, you’re saying, I don’t have to worry about another man in your life?” His voice was low, and his breath felt warm against her skin.

“N-no. Why?” She gulped as her throat became dry. She watched as Sy licked his lips wet and smiled at her.

“Because I am going to kiss you and I ain’t gonna kiss some other man’s girl.” Sy whispered and waited for her to answer. A slight nod of her head was all he needed as he brought his lips down on hers, placing a soft and gentle kiss over her desirous lips.

Liv closed her eyes as the feeling of his lips sent sparks down her spine. The coarse hairs of his beard grazed against her face as she moved her lips against his. Sy placed his hand over her cheeks as he moved his lips with hers, darting his tongue out seeking permission to enter. She grabbed a hold of his t-shirt and another at the nape of his neck and pulled him closer to her and opened her mouth slightly to grant him access.

The minutes felt like they stretched into hours as Sy’s tongue danced against hers. She could taste the faint taste of cardamom on his tongue and breathe in his musky scent as she willingly deprived herself of oxygen. Panting as their lungs struggled to take in air, Sy let go of her with a last pull on her bottom lip.

When Olivia opened her eyes, the sun had set beyond the horizon and darkness was falling over the desert. Sy let out a slow breath as he grazed his knuckles over her cheek. She felt herself leaning in his touch as her breathing came back to normal.

“Sunsets and kisses, aren’t you a romantic Syverson?” She teased, biting her lower lip between her teeth.

Sy chuckled. “Told you our first kiss would be memorable.” Sy shrugged his shoulders with a cheeky smile, before pulling Liv up for another breathtaking kiss.

Chapter Six>

🌟 Series Masterlist 🌟

[mandoalorian]

Hello I really love that one about Javi being scared about something happening to reader, it's so soft. What do you think about reader being kidnapped by the capo and Javier and the whole DEA trying to rescue her. THANK YOU 🥰

Birthday Bloodbath [Javier Pena x Reader]

Read part one here!

Read part three here!

Warnings: if you have any experience with kidnapping this is not the fic for you! I tried to make all descriptions as vague and go over the actual hostage part as quickly as possible but I wouldn't recommend you read something like this if you think it might trigger you. also food mentions, alcohol mentions, cursing, mention of blood, gore, injury, and death, intruders, drugs and drug cartels (other narcos related themes) very very scary situations.

Rating: 18+

Word count: 3k

Authors note: thank you for the request! I'm so glad you liked the first part enough to want a follow-up. I must admit, I did struggle with writing this as I'm not familiar with writing situations like this … but I was in my element writing the fluff at the start!!! I hope you enjoy. 

Masterlist • submit requests 

This was never supposed to happen. You had sworn to Javier that you'd get through this together. Javier had been foolish for believing the Capo and his cartel would have left you alone; and risk their entire distribution. Javier Peña was one of the agents who took down Pablo Escobar; and he was a force that shouldn't be reckoned with. Cartels all across South America knew of him and knew to be aware of him. The Capo wanted a bullet in his brain, but he knew that getting close to someone like Javier wouldn't be easy.

Since Escobar, Javier had gotten a brilliant promotion. He now has his own team behind him, not to mention his own security who would follow him around on his endeavours. It really helped ease Javier's anxiety, knowing that he had people on constant watch who would protect him, but more importantly, would protect you.

You didn't like it; all the fancy security following your every move. You'd visit the launderette just a few blocks away, and they'd follow your every move. But there was nothing you could do about it. They were under firm instruction by Javier, and there was nothing you could do that would change Javier's mind. He needed to know that you were protected.

However, on the day of Javier's birthday, things changed. Javier headed to work early that morning, claiming he could get his papers signed quickly and be home by around 4pm, having the whole evening and night to celebrate with him.

It wasn't often you got to spend time with Javier and since it was such a special occasion, you wanted to make it special. You had been planning for his birthday weeks in advance. Javi wasn't one for parties, and he had planned travelling back to Texas in a fortnight to see his family. It would be your first chance at meeting them. He told you over and over again, no parties. He just wanted a special night in the apartment with you.

But you had to surprise your boyfriend in some way. You had called up his old partner and one of his best friends, Steve Murphy and invited him over for the weekend. You knew Javi would love a few beers and a catch-up with Steve. Steve had called you yesterday morning and told you he had just arrived in Colombia. He was going to surprise Javier in work, on his birthday. You knew that, by now, Javi and Steve were probably together in the office, bickering like they used to. You just wished you could've seen the smile on Javier's face when Steve surprised him.

The beaming rays of sunlight woke you up later than expected. You found yourself wearing Javier's pink button down shirt, and a smile spread across your lips as you reminiced on the amazing night you had before. Ever since the incident with the capo, and Javi's injury, Javier has struggled to cope with it. He had gotten better at talking about his feelings, but it did initiate a certain trauma within him. You were, however, seeing improvements in his nature. Things were finally looking up for both of you.

Your smile grew when you picked up on the infused scent of laundry detergent and cigarettes. You'd much rather be in Javier's arms right now, but wearing his shirt was the next best thing. Merrily, you slipped into the kitchen, the hem of his shirt grazing your thighs. You checked the time on your wrist watch; it was 8:40am. Your security would arrive at your flat at 9am prompt. You poured out three glasses of orange juice for them and put on your favourite record. You decided on skipping breakfast, because you had a feast planned for Javier's birthday dinner. His favourite food was from this local Chinese take-out and you had arranged all his favourite dishes to be delivered to your house.

You didn't plan on leaving the house today, except to go to the bakery to pick up his birthday cake. You walked over to the closet to grab your balloons and streamers. You were going to wait until security arrived so they could help you decorate the house but you decided there was no harm in getting a head start.

Head deep into the closet, you swore you heard your front door open. You brushed it off, thinking you had probably just nudged something on one of the shelves. You clambered out of the small cupboard, hands full of decorations, and went to carry them into the kitchen. Just before you got there, you heard a glass clink against the counter. You thought it was weird, but maybe it was just security. Maybe they had arrived early and were helping themselves to the orange juice you had prepared. 

"Okay boys!" you shouted, juggling packets of balloons, banners, confetti, and streamers in your arms, being careful that nothing dropped to the floor. "We have a lot to do today. As you know, it's Javi's birthday and so-" you froze when your eyes locked onto the three men standing in your apartment.

They weren't your security, but they sure as hell had drunk your orange juice. Stood before you were three men, clad in military print overalls and gold chains. "Uhm…" you stumbled backwards slightly, dropping most of the decorations in your arms. "Can I help you?" you asked. You peered behind the three men and noticed the lock on the door had snapped off. These men were intruders.

The man in the centre, had jet black curly hair and he shot you a hungry smile. He stepped forward, caressing your arm and his smile only grew when you shivered under his touch.

"Who are you?" you spat when no one responded to you. "Why are you here?" 

"She's such a pretty little thing, isn't she?" one of the men purred, while the other nodded his head in silent agreement.

"Whatever you want… money? I can get you it just- please don't do anything stupid." you tried negotiating, something Javier had always taught you to do if you had ever found yourself in a situation such as this one.

The capo grabbed your throat with a sudden force and you let out a yelp. He pushed your chin up with his two fingers, forcing you to look into his eyes. "We were looking for agent Peña," the capo explained, a glint in his eyes. "But I think you might be the next best thing." he smirked, pushing you down to your knees.

You landed on the oak wood floor with a thud. "Tie her up." the capo commanded; and his two sicarios obediently followed his instruction, taking thick piece of rope and tying it around your wrists. You could feel it begin to graze and cut at your skin as you tried to escape from their firm grip.

"My boyfriend- if you don't let me go he'll kill you when he finds out about this. You don't want to get personal with Javier, I'm warning you." you said through tear filled eyes and gritted teeth.

"Actually, agent Peña got personal with us first, when he tried and failed going undercover to our headquarters. He thought we wouldn't catch on," the capo laughed. "He promised us he'd keep his mouth shut and we'd let him walk three. But we followed him home. We've been tracking your phone calls with him for months now. We know he lied to us. We know he's been seeing a therapist about what happened. We have cameras deployed out in the street… watching your every move. Looking into your windows…"

One of the sicarios nodded his head and took a swing of the orange juice. "Ooh sir, you should've seen her and agent Peña last night. I got it recorded-"

"What the fuck? You sick pervert!" You screamed, trying to scramble to your feet. It was no use. The capo kicked his foot into your back and you fell back down on your face. You groaned, trying to catch your balance when you felt something salty drip into your mouth. It was blood. Your nose was bleeding.

"Listen, if you just play along to with our little game, everything will be okay. Except for agent Peña of course… but you know, you still have a chance of making it out here alive!" the capo cackled, hysteria dripping from his tongue. "So when will your dashing DEA agent be home?" 

You shook your head, refusing to answer. Javier wouldn't be home for hours. Fuck, you really didn't know what to do. "My security will beat the shit out of you." you snarled, but felt so defeated knowing your threats were empty.

The capo let out another laugh. "Aw, she must think the security that we annihilated in the corridor would return from the dead to protect her?"

"Holy shit, you killed them?" you hissed in disbelief.

One of the sicarios held out a knife, stained deep in blood. He held it to your neck, wiping the blood of your security on your skin. You were out of options. You were so afraid. 

***

"Noonan still an ass?" Steve chuckled, lighting Javier's cigarette. Javi took a puff and nodded his head.

"Yeah, but she has her moments," Javier shrugged. "She's letting me get off work early today."

"Birthday privilege?" Steve pointed out and Javier nodded his head in agreement.

"It's been so good to see you, but I gotta head home to see my girl." Javier smirked and Steve wolf whistled.

"Yeah? How's she doing by the way?" Steve asked and Javier felt a blush creep upon his cheeks at the mere thought of you.

"She's good, she's good." Javier grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Never in a million years did I think my friend Javier Peña would actually settle down," Steve laughed and Javier nudged his arm playfully. "I owe Connie twenty bucks!" 

Javier rolled his eyes and stubbed out his cigarette. "Come over later for a few drinks, yeah?" Javier pulled Steve in for a long awaited hug.

"I'd like that bud, I'll bring the beers." Steve replied and offered Javier a comforting pat on the back. "I'll see you later."

On the drive home, Javier completely forgot it was his birthday. His mind was just consumed with you— the love of his life. You were the only person who looked after him, cared for him, and were constantly at his beck and call. He chastised you for it and he told you that you did too much for him, but your compassionate nature truly meant so much to him.

After an amazing night with you, he couldn't wait to surprise you at home. He couldn't wait to pick you up and hold you in his arms. It was still morning, so it meant he could spend the whole day with you.

His excitement was cut short when he pulled up into the driveway of his apartment complex. He saw three black vans with tinted windows, and recognised them from his encounter with the drug cartel months ago. A knot tightened in his throat. Quietly, he hopped out of his own truck and entered his building. Making his way through the maze of hallways, his heart dropped when he found his three security guards lying dead against the walls outside his home, their blood soaking through the carpet.

Javier's instincts were to bolt inside your shared apartment and rescue you. He knew for a fact you were in danger— that they were in there, holding you hostage. But he had to think logically. They wanted Javi dead, and he didn't know what the numbers would be like.

Javier backed off down the corridor and took out his cell phone. "Hey Steve? Are you still at the Embassy? I think the cartel has y/n. I need your help. And call for the other agents; we need serious backup!" Javier explained a thorough plan to Steve on the phone, who promised Javier he'd be there within minutes. And Steve Murphy always kept his words.

While Javier waited, he looted the bodies of his security for any weapons they had possessed. He hid a gun under his pants and slid a knife into his pocket. When he saw Steve at the front gate, pulling up with a van filled with fellow agents, he offered him a nod of acknowledgement. This was where Javier's plan started. He was going in.

Javier had decided to play it cool and pretend like he didn't have his whole team behind him. He opened the unlocked front door yelling an unfamiliar "honey I'm home!". Javier never said anything like this and so he hoped, by hearing this, you would catch on that he had it covered.

His heart was racing in his chest when he caught a glimpse of you, tied to a chair wearing only his shirt. You had silver electrical tape around your mouth and blood that Javi prayed wasn't yours. Your eyes were puffy from your tears and fear prevailed through them. He muttered your name and hurried to your side, falling to his knees and taking out the knife from his pocket.

"You're okay baby, you're okay I'm here. I've got you." Your whimpers broke his heart. He sliced open the rope, releasing your hands. "How many are there?" he whispered into your ear. You managed to hold up three fingers and Javier gulped, starting to unbind your ankles when he felt a gun press in between his shoulder blades.

Javier removed his hands from you and raised them in a surrender position above his own head. Javier stood up straight and turned around to face the capo, gun now pointing into his chest. He recognised the two sicarios behind him from last time.

"Whatever you need, I can get for you." Javier promised, lowering his hand to the barrel of the gun and cautiously pushing it away from him. "I have money."

"What we needed was your silence… your honesty, agent Peña. And we needed that about three months ago."

"I didn't say shit to the DEA," Javier spat angrily.

"But you told her, didn't you?" the capo pointed his gun at you and you let out another frightened whimper, closing your eyes, petrified.

"You shoot either of us? It's life in prison. Your whole cartel goes bust. Don't make a mistake here." Javier just needed to buy a little more time….

"She told me it was your birthday," the capo chuckled. "How ironic. You were born today, you die today."

Just then, your front door burst off the hinges as Steve Murphy and an army of about 20 agents bolted through the tiny apartment, immediately shooting down the two sicarios and Steve held a gun to the capo's head. You could hear police and ambulance sirens outside as tears began to stream down your face. Your hope was cut short when the capo fired his gun.

You screamed as the pressure from the bullet knocked you off your chair and two the ground. He had shot right in your chest, just next to your collarbone. The pain was blinding and you curled your fingers into a fist. Another gunshot; and Steve had shot the capo down. Javier screamed your name and ran to your side, cradling you in his arms. He gently ripped the tape off your mouth and freed your ankles. 

"I've got you baby, hey stay with me. I've got you." he whispered, nursing you in his arms.

"Javi," you choked out, wincing in pain.

"Can someone get me a flannel and there's a first aid kit under the bathroom sink!" Javier cried out, his voice hoarse as his red hot blood coursed through his veins. "Keep your eyes open. Keep looking at me. There's an ambulance outside. There'll be up here any minute."

"Javi… I love you so much." you sobbed. The pain was becoming unbearable and your eyes fluttered shut.

Javi cupped your cheek as one of the agents passed him a flannel and the med kit. He began to apply pressure to your wound. "Stay with me, stay with me angel. I love you."

Your breathing began to hitch and Javier was so afraid he was going to lose you for good. He was going to lose the love of his life. If anyone was meant to be shot, it should've been him. He cursed himself. It should've fucking been him.

Paramedics raced over to you and pulled Javier back. "Be careful with her." Javier exhaled, his hands shaking as Steve steadied him.

"She's going to be okay." Steve reassured his friends. "She's in good hands."

Permanent taglist (let me know if you would like to be added!):  @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic

"This is all my fucking fault Steve." Javier cried, falling to his knees as his heart shattered into a million pieces. "This is all my fault."

NEXT PART

[taylizmasterpost]

Liz After the Agency (September 2012 - September 2014)

So, Liz is spiraling. Her mental health isn’t doing great. And she was just asked to leave The Agency (presumably to take care of herself, although the public reason given was for her to start a solo career). Things are bad.

However, in the darkness, there’s always a light. And the light for Liz, in this case is her neighbor, Bryan Brown.

24 September 2012 - Liz and Bryan tweet at each other for the first time:

17  October 2012 - Taylor writes This Love:

Now, this COULD be about Liz, considering the back and forth. However, I’m more inclined to believe Taylor wrote this about Swiftgron’s first break up, right after they got back together, which you can read more about here. 

The same day, Liz makes a vague tweet about jealousy:

It’s crazy weird to me that the same day Taylor is celebrating getting back together with Dianna and writing This Love, Liz is pissed off and jealous about something. Coincidence? Maybe. But I don’t think so.

22 October 2012 - Red is released. According to a later interview with the photographer who did the Red booklet (who happens to be Liz’s current roommate), Taylor based the concept of the photoshoot on some headshots they’d taken for Liz: 

“Taylor is a mutual friend of ours. Stephen and his brother were friends with her years before, and I became friends with her separately. What ended up happening was one of her background singers needed headshots. When Taylor saw them a few months later, she came to me and was like, “Liz showed me the shots you took of her, and I need my album to look exactly like that.” Clearly, this was a no-brainer. I said, “OK!” Before then, I’d been kind of burned out on music photography. A lot of the shoots were super controlling. I needed a new perspective on the field itself and wanted future shoots to be very free-flowing — just the artist and a minimum crew. Luckily for Stephen and me, that’s exactly how Taylor presented the Red album shoot. So it was just the three of us shooting everything together. She wanted everybody else to remain off set, allowing for a more personal and intimate experience.”

So, I don’t know why Taylor did this. Maybe she wanted to look like a hipster for the Red album and Liz was the best she knew. Or, maybe, she wanted to scream to those who knew her well that this album was about LIZ HUETT. 

In this series of Liz headshots, there’s also one specific photo of Liz wearing the Stevie Nicks moon necklace that Taylor possibly gave to her:

Is this possibly one of the reasons why Taylor wanted to mimic them for the Red album? 

Later that day, Taylor goes on Good Morning America and says she wrote a new song “like two days ago” (probably talking about This Love?)

And after that, Taylor tells the LA Times that Begin Again and State of Grace are about the same person:

“There were a few track list choices I knew I was going to make way in advance,” she said. “I knew I wanted to bookend the album with ‘State of Grace’ and ‘Begin Again’ because they’re inspired by the same person who inspired a few songs on the record. I wanted to start and end the album with the first and last song I ever wrote about that relationship.”

“Then in between those songs, I wanted to paint a picture of the ups and downs I’ve experienced in life and love, not necessarily in the order it happened chronologically,” Swift continued. “I like to spread the emotions out in a way that never makes you feel like there’s a sad lull, then a burst of four songs in a row about joy. At the end of the day, I make a track list based on what my gut feeling tells me.” ‘Begin Again’ is my song version of a cliffhanger ending. Throughout the whole album, there have been songs about the trials and tribulations of love and loss, and there at the end of the record it starts all over. As soon as I wrote that song, I knew exactly where I wanted to put it.”

Now, I don’t think this means Begin Again is about Liz. I think it means that Liz is the past relationship in the song, and Dianna is the present. And Liz actually has a song called “Good About Her” that kind of mirrors Begin Again and I find that HILARIOUS and also kind of a smoking gun.

26 October 2012 -Taylor goes on Katie Couric. Katie asks if Taylor’s ex in WANEGBT got the message and Taylor says she “hasn’t heard from him since” and also mentions “some of my exes like to write really long emails.” Now, if the song is about Liz, this is a lie, because she definitely did get lunch with Liz after WANEGBT came out. However, I think it’s fair that what she’s hinting here is that things did not end well in that messy relationship.

25 October 2012 - Liz quote tweets Caitlin about crying on the treadmill to All Too Well :

8 November 2012 - Liz releases Never Know on YouTube:

The lyrics that make me think this is about Taylor are the “now and then I catch myself singing your old song.” ESPECIALLY in the context of that treadmill tweet and Liz probably having written this during her Nashville sessions over the summer. However, it could also be about Jason, who, as we know, was a struggling musician before he became a photographer.

18 November 2012 - Taylor shoots the MV for IKYWT, wears the same black and white shirt she wore around when Liz first joined the band. Liz calls the news of her leaving the Agency “bittersweet.”

And “bittersweet” is the exact same phrasing that around a week later Taylor would say the ex who most of Red is about used to describe listening to the album:

19 November 2012 - Ali Puliti tweets about listening to two Liz demos -- Blessed Are the Brokenhearted and Dammit, meaning this song, which wouldn’t be released until 2018, was likely written during those summer 2012 songwriting sessions:

When the song was eventually released by Jana Kramer in 2018, Liz posted this on Facebook:

The song also notably contains the lyric “cause I could hear you in the kitchen, playing your guitar” which REALLY REALLY makes me think of Taylor. Although it could maybe be for Jason, who was also a musician.

Here’s the story Liz told about the song:

“‘Dammit’, actually, was a story that I lived out. Like, I was with somebody I was, you know, getting very serious. We were talking about starting a life together and we even had this house, like, picked out in the city where we lived and we would drive by it and be like ‘one day when we buy that house’. And, so, when we broke up, the pain of, like, saying goodbye was really, you know, really intense, but it was also mourning the loss of the hypothetical future. So, it was like saying goodbye to the past memories and stuff, sort of what we almost had and that’s where that song came from. So, honestly, I didn’t write it for anyone else, but myself, truly. But, um, it’s beautiful that music has such a way of resonating with someone who might not even know and they connect with it so much that another artist would want to sing it. It’s such a high compliment.”  

And here’s a quick clip of Liz singing it. So, seems like a Jason song, if not for the fact that she wrote it almost a year after they broke up and kept it hidden for years before eventually giving it to another artist.

13 December 2012 - Taylor’s birthday. Liz does not wish her happy birthday. This, to me, is the biggest evidence that there’s some amount of bad blood between them at this point.

14 December 2012 - The Music Video for IKYWT comes out. Taylor wears a shirt she wore a LOT when TayLiz was first a thing in 2009. She also wears a key necklace, which will be important later.

17 December 2012 - Liz posts a picture from Claire’s birthday party using a picture without Taylor in it (even though it seems fair to assume Taylor would’ve been invited).

20 December 2012 - Liz tells a fan her favorite song from Red is All Too Well:

21 December 2012 - Liz wishes Claire happy birthday. Further signaling bad blood with her and Taylor since she didn’t bother to do it for Taylor.

9 January 2013 - Liz releases Blessed Are the Brokenhearted:

Here she describes love as “burning up out of control” which is the same phrase Taylor used on Red -- “burning red” -- and Begin Again -- “I’ve been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end.” Also, the idea of love as an out of control flame really does describe their relationship.

20 January 2013 - Liz releases One Hand on the Wheel:

Here, much like in Red, Liz describes a relationship using the metaphor of a car. The relationship is messy, maybe even toxic. There’s even a lyric that sounds like it could be out of treacherous: “Being wrong shouldn’t feel so right like it does / But it does.”

22 January 2013 - Liz releases Wreck of Who I Am.

This is the song that is the strongest evidence for me that Liz WAS going through some mental health stuff over the summer when she was doing all this songwriting, and that that Reddit post about running into a drunk Liz who said she was fired for being “out of control” seems somewhat accurate. Here Liz sings about her battles, the way she’s losing them, and asks her younger self what she would think if she saw her now.

I’m not going to go into too much detail on Liz and Bryan (since unlike her and Jason there’s no need to use them to say much about TayLiz) but, despite his flaws, he was the person to pick Liz up off the ground when she was feeling this way, so he should get some credit for that.

Sometime around this - Liz releases Stones. Similar upbeat nature to Blessed Are the Brokenhearted with mentions to some of the struggles of Wreck of Who I Am.

Choice Lyrics:

When you’re knocked off your throne And lying on your back Things will never be so clear Cause when you see it all like that Sooner or later it comes around Yeah we all taste that bitter truth But all the stones you’re throwing now Will be the ones they throw at you

Also with these batch of songs, we get Sun Out of the Rain:

So baby, hold on, the storm will roll away It may be pouring down, but it’s only for today A million pieces might be falling into place And when there are no words to say We’ll make the sun out of the rain

29 January 2013 - Chantelle Paige posts a picture of Liz and Taylor and talks about a “sad night turned awesome.” Once again, I think this is a throwback from that night in 2012.

2 April 2013 - Liz goes to therapy. Her and Bryan are dating at this point.

2 September 2013 - Liz tells a fan on twitter that she hasn’t been to any of the Red shows, which to me definitely backs up that fan account of Liz being bitter about being fired.

23 December 2013 - Liz wishes Taylor Happy Birthday. This seems like a peace offering to me, considering they haven’t spoken in like a year and she refused to do this the earlier year. Also worth noting that Swiftgron is on its last legs at this point.

1 March 2014 - Sara Evans releases Put My Heart Down, which was co-written by Liz and is about walking away from a toxic relationship:

Now, from what I know of Liz and Jason, this doesn’t seem like their dynamic at all. It’s too soon for it to be about her and Bryan However, it does remind me a LOT of what Taylor was writing about on Red. Her are some choice lyrics:

I never pictured us fighting this much Thought we were figured out, but it’s so messy now Your words cut so deep and I think you should leave

Put my heart down and walk away This kind of love is dangerous So pack up all your things, just leave some air to breathe A million toxic tears fallin’ like rain over here This is the final hour The end of our story tonight And I don’t wanna fight

Now, please go listen to Treacherous, Battle/Let’s Go and Story of Us and tell me this is not the same relationship.

Bonus though, this song is copyrighted for 2014, making it make even LESS SENSE for it to be written about Bryan. 

17 July 2014 -  Timothy James Brown releases a song called Change My Mind that was co-written by Liz. I’m out of video links, so here are some choice lyrics:

All the horses became soldiers Dark as night to drag me away A complicated kind of heartbreak When you promise somebody you’ll stay

I know you’ve been hurting I know more than most I don’t have the courage Where you’re going, I can’t follow

To me, this reads as Liz making peace with leaving the Agency. She recognizes her demons, and how they ruined her relationship with Taylor, and says “where you’re going, I can’t follow” because she’s not in a good enough place to keep touring with Taylor.

So things are looking bleak in TayLiz land. However, Liz seems to be recovering! She’s writing songs acknowledging some problems in the relationship and her own battles, and she’s also in therapy and dating Bryan. It’s time for some reconciliation. But first, let’s see what’s up in Taylor-land:

Liz References on the Red Tour

[guccybangtan]

keep going - jung hoseok x reader x park jimin

pairing; hoseok x reader x jimin

genre; smut, college au, frat au;

rating; 18+

disclaimers; threesome (hickies/neck kissing, palming, mxm kissing, penetrative sex, blow job/dick sucking, face fucking (its pretty mild), nipple play, hoseok gives off dom vibes but its subtle, hoseok fucks y/n and she's dating jimin (totally consensual Jimin’s there its a vibe) Let me know if somethings missing;

word count; 2.6k

a/n; this was commissioned by an anonymous donor through ChangesWithLuv in support of the Black Lives Matter movement

listen to: whatever sexy song you want, I listened to daddy issues (slowed w reverb) on repeat solely bc I liked the vibes;

“Just come with me to the party this one time! Please, baby girl,” Jimin begged you. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

His words were punctuated by a wiggle of his eyebrows, signature toothy smirk on full display as his eyes formed mini crescents.

You had been in a relationship with Jimin for the better part of two years, having originally met during Intro to Chemistry. It had been the first day of the semester and you, regretfully, were placed in the 8 am class.

You were taken aback when Jimin and all his energy plopped into the seat next to you, slamming his books and coffee onto the table, effectively deeming himself your lab partner for the entirety of the first semester.

While you dreaded attending Intro to Chem in the beginning, you found yourself looking more and more forward to it as time went by, beginning to enjoy the time spent with your new friend.

Jimin may have been a bit strange, but he was actually quite endearing.

He started bringing you coffee from the campus cafe when he stopped for his own, swearing you looked like the walking dead every time he saw you. He also looked at you like you held the stars in your eyes when you explained molar calculations to him, claiming ‘’no matter how hard I try Professor Robertson just doesn’t make any sense!’’

You knew something was up when Jimin walked into class empty-handed one morning, but all of the pieces clicked into place when he held you back after class was dismissed.

“I know things were a little weird in the beginning, but I really enjoy your company,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Would you maybe, I dunno, wanna come grab a coffee with me? Get to know each other outside of chemistry?”

Of course you’d agreed, and the two of you walked hand in hand down to the cafe, giggling like teenagers as you stared at each other over the lips of your cups.

That one date turned into two, which turned into four, which turned into Jimin asking you to be his girlfriend a few weeks later.

Even though you said yes, you’d had your reservations. Early on in your courtship, you’d learned Jimin was a part of Bangtan, the fraternity known to throw the most crazy rager parties. How this fact had escaped you the first 8 weeks of you knowing him, you weren’t sure why, but now that you did know it made you nervous.

“Why does me being in Bangtan make you nervous?” Jimin asked you over coffee one morning after class.

“It’s just- the reputation your frat holds.” You shrugged like that explained everything.

“Care to enlighten me?” Jimin was perched on the edge of his seat, acting as if you were about to tell him the juiciest bit of drama all year.

“That you all fuck anything with legs just to get your dick wet.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Is that why you think I’m after you?” Tongue in cheek, Jimin cocked his eyebrow, looking almost bored as you threw these accusations at him.

“Well... No. Not you.” You shivered under his intense gaze. You’d never brought this up in conversation before, afraid of the possible repercussions.

“What makes me different, then?” Your only response was to stare at him.

What did make him different? You didn’t really have an answer, but you trusted Jimin.

He hadn’t attended any of the parties since the two of you got together, totally understanding of your apprehension.

This party was a special occasion, though, which is why he wanted you to attend so badly.

Hoseok was one of the members of Bangtan, and the party was for his birthday.

The fraternity was notorious for going all out in regards to their members, so this was expected to be one of the best parties of the year, considering how popular Hoseok was.

This party would be no different. You’d seen the info floating around on Snapchat, meaning anyone and everyone was invited, something unusual for Bangtan, because usually you had to know someone to get in the door.

“You know how I feel about parties, Jimin,” you replied from your seated position on the couch.

Jimin had been persistent on your attendance since he’d heard about the party, but he’d been especially antsy since he returned home from his last class.

“I know, Y/N, but think about it! It’s Hoseok’s birthday!” Jimin made his way around the couch and sat on the coffee table in front of you.

He took the book you were reading out of your hands and set it on the table next to him.

“He’s your friend, Min, not mine.’’ You shook your head, reaching back out for your book.

Jimin was quick to grab your hand, pressing a kiss to your palm as he gave you the best puppy dog eyes he could muster.

“Pleaasseee!’’ he whined.

“Only for like, two hours,’’ you rolled your eyes.

“It’s a deal!” Jimin exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

He quickly scurried off to your shared bedroom, muttering about how he was going to let the others know you would, in fact, be in attendance.

-

The day of the party arrived sooner than you would have liked. Considering the rest of your week following the conversation with Jimin had been filled with tests and essay revisions, it was really no surprise that it was Saturday already.

The weather was warm enough that you opted for a spaghetti-strapped dress with delicate flowers scattered across the white fabric.

It was sheer and silken, like something you’d see in the middle of summer. It rested against the middle of your thighs, providing enough coverage to be modest, but not so much you felt swamped in fabric. It seemed perfect for the occasion (even though it appeared you’d have to prevent Jimin from ripping it from your body).

Even though you and Jimin arrived fairly early, it seemed as if the party was already in full swing.

You made it inside, albeit difficultly, and began the hunt for the birthday boy to offer him your congratulations.

Somewhere along the way you had been handed a solo cup filled with a mysterious liquid that smelled an awful lot like fireball and coke. If you were anywhere else you would have questioned the drink, but considering the fact that Seokjin had been the one to hand it to you, you weren’t too worried.

After searching for Hoseok and not finding him, you and Jimin settled onto the couch with Jimin’s best friends, Jungkook and Taehyung, who were also a part of the frat.

Conversation flowed easily between the four of you, and time was passing by quickly. You found yourself enjoying the party more than you originally thought you would.

“You still wanting to leave?” Jimin’s words were whispered directly into your ear, plush lips gently brushing against the outer shell.

“I don’t mind staying,’’ you shrugged.

“Well, uh- I don’t mind either but, there’s a bit of a problem.’’ He glanced down to his lap where a bulge was beginning to form.

Without even having to look, you rolled your eyes. “What!” Jimin exclaimed, glancing at his friends to make sure they were still oblivious to your conversation, “You look so hot in that dress, baby girl.’’

“So? You can’t wait until we get home?” “Please, Y/N,’’ Jimin purred, “humor me.’’

Sighing again, you stood up, bidding farewell to the others and tugging Jimin down the hall.

“Where to, loverboy?” You asked.

Jimin swung the first door open and pulled you inside, slamming it shut and flicking the lock.

“Where were we?” Jimin turned to you with a smirk.

“My bedroom,’’ another voice rang out.

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sudden sound.

Hoseok was lounging on the bed shirtless, his feet kicked up.

“To what do I owe your lovely presence?”

“We were just-’’

“Gonna fuck in my bed?” Hoseok cocked his eyebrow.

“Well-’’

“I could’ve at least gotten an invite,’’ Hoseok tsked, “it is my birthday, after all.’’

“Invitation sent.’’ you said.

“Bring it on.’’ Jimin smirked.

“Remember you asked for this.’’ Hoseok snickered as he stood up, looking amused at your lover's words.

“Kneel. There,’’ he barked at Jimin, pointing to the patch of carpet near the foot of the bed.

The blond was quick to follow orders without hesitation. Who knew your lovely boyfriend would submit so easily?

“Not so mouthy now, are we?” Jimin rolled his eyes, causing Hoseok to scoff.

“Pretty dress,’’ Hoseok cooed as he sauntered over to you, lips brushing the edge of your jaw, “It’d look better off, though.’’

He wasted no time and ripped the garment from your body, exposing your soft skin to the chill air of his bedroom.

Hoseok smashed his lips to yours, mouths sliding fervently against each other.

He feathered kisses across your jaw, working his way down the column of your neck and down your chest, finally reaching your breasts.

‘’Hoseok,’’ you gasped as his mouth latched onto one of your hardening nipples, fingers winding their way into his soft red locks.

He laved his tongue over the rosy bud, while he massaged the other with his deft fingers.

After a moment he switched, offering equal attention to both mounds.

“Hobi… mm- want more. Please. Touch me,’’ you whined as he sat up.

He stared at you as you squirmed on the bed, lips parted as pants fell from his mouth.

“I won't touch you unless you beg.”

You spared a glance at Jimin.

Seeing him on his knees next to the bed, pupils blown wide as he palmed himself through his jeans was enough to send another gush of wetness into your panties. It was obvious he was just as into this as you were.

“Please, Hoseok!’’ You mewled, ”I’ve been good,’’

“Hm,’’ Hoseok hummed as he caught you staring at Jimin, “not good enough.’’

Your eyes widened, ready to plead more when any words you had died in your throat.

Hoseok had turned his back to you, moving all of his attention towards Jimin.

“Baby boy’s been a bit neglected, hasn’t he?”

You watched on with labored breaths, enthralled by the scene unfolding in front of you.

You couldn’t hear what Hoseok muttered to Jimin over your own breathing, but Hoseok pulled Jimin to his feet and immediately locked his lips with the blond, tongue swiping gently over his lips.

Jimin’s hands gripped the loops on Hoseok’s pants, pulling the older male flush against his body while he began to mouth at his neck, letting his hands move to caress Hoseok’s hardening dick through his shorts.

You were sure your panties were saturated with your arousal by this point, feeling the fabric stick uncomfortably to your dripping cunt.

“Not fair,’’ you whined, sitting up, ”you’re hogging.’’

You nudged Jimin, attaching your lips to the side of Hoseok’s neck, painting blossoms of red and purple across his supple skin, while Jimin made similar moves on the other side.

As you moved more toward the center of his throat, you found yourself knocking heads with Jimin.

“Now who’s hogging?” Jimin mocked you as he nuzzled his nose against your own.

You momentarily turned your attention from Hoseok to Jimin, letting your lips meet. No matter how many times you had kissed Jimin, his hot lips always made you weak in the knees.

You moaned as he pulled away, wanting nothing more than to ravish him right then.

Hoseok’s hand on your waist brought you back to reality, turning your attention back to him.

“It won’t be long before someone comes looking. If we really wanna have fun we should hurry a bit.

You and Jimin both nodded dumbly, entranced by Hoseok.

“How do we wanna do this?” Hoseok asked as he pulled off Jimin’s shirt, nipping at his jaw.

“You can fuck her if you want, long as you’ve got a condom.’’

Hoseok quickly rummaged through his nightstand, proudly whipping out the foiled package.

“You okay with that?” Jimin turned to you, taking his time to run his hands over your curves, fingers sliding against your soaked panties.

“Please. Hurry.’’ You nodded, grinding onto Jimin’s palm.

“Eager, aren’t we?” Hoseok laughed as he stepped out of his shorts, tearing the wrapper open and rolling it down his thick length.

Jimin made his way around the bed, kneeling next to your head.

You reached up and wrapped your hand around his cock, giving him a few strokes while you waited for Hoseok to line up with your entrance.

“We’ll have to do this again sometime,’’ Hoseok breathed as he began to push into you. “Wanna taste you next time.’’

“Oh, god.’’ You cried as he bottomed out.

He stilled inside of you, giving you a few moments to adjust to his size before he was pulling out and rocking back into you again.

Hoseok was longer than Jimin, but not as girthy. Still, he managed to reach places inside of you that had your toes curling as you felt the familiar knot already tightening in your stomach.

You felt the tip of Jimin’s cock nudge your lips and without hesitation you opened for him.

Jimin began thrusting into your mouth in tandem with Hoseok.

“Hng- Fuck, Y/N.’’ Jimin moaned, “ 'm close. God, your mouth.’’

You relaxed your throat, allowing Jimin deeper access to fuck into you.

It wasn’t long before you felt his warm cum coating the inside of your throat.

He pulled out gently, and you turned your attention back to Hoseok who had begun working your clit as he continued to thrust into you at a steady pace.

“ 'm not gonna last long,” Hoseok grunted, “wanna feel you milk my cock.’’

Hoseok's words were enough to throw you over the edge into ecstasy, walls clenching around his cock as he stilled inside of you, spilling his seed into the condom.

The two of you laid there, catching your breaths before Hoseok pulled out, discarding the used condom in the wastebin.

“Thank you for that,’’ Hoseok smiled as he pulled his shirt back over his head.

“Not a problem,’’ Jimin said, helping you redress.

“It was fun,’’ you added.

Reaching out, you pulled Hoseok into your arms, trapping him in a hug.

He tensed, but returned the gesture nevertheless.

“You just had your dick in me, a hug won’t kill you.’’ You giggled, releasing the man whose face was now as red as his hair.

He shook his head at you, giving Jimin a bro hug before following you to the door.

“Talk soon?” Jimin said to his frat-mate.

“For sure, let me know when you get home. I’ve got more party things to attend to.’’ He rolled his eyes.

You and Jimin left soon after, beginning the short journey home.

“Is it bad I want to do that again?” Jimin broke the silence.

“No, I want to too.’’

“I never took Hobi as a Dom,’’ Jimin pondered out loud.

“Have you seen the man? He screams dom,’’ you disagreed.

“Maybe we can call him for your birthday.’’

“I’m down.’’ You reached out to Jimin for the door key.

Wordlessly, he handed it over.

The silence remained until the two of you were settled into bed.

“Y/N?” Jimin asked.

“Hm?”

“Do you like Hoseok?”

You looked at Jimin with uncertainty.

“Of course I do, he’s your friend.’’

“Yeah but… nevermind.’’ He shook his head.

“O-okay?” You responded.

“We’ll talk in the morning, baby. Get some rest.’’

Rest didn’t come easy, and when it did, you dreamt of all the possibilities the morning held.

[kkoumiii]

Read one of your astro observations and it’s kinda true to me about the MC degree. Aqua MC at 11 degree and that was the time I realised that people perceived me differently, I was the weird kid, and that is the age where I had slowly started to stand up for myself and not take shit from anyone- by that I mean anyone. I started building my boundaries cause if I hadn’t I would be tormented and bullied by these people who think they have written the rules of societal norms and how a person should always stick by them no matter what. I did obviously in the start- but no matter what I did I was always an outcast- if I am intelligent but fat- no importance- if I look good but then I’m not that smart again- no importance was given to me no matter what I did- so I started to be super nice and let people walk all over me so that I feel `accepted’ and `loved’ and as `somebody who mattered’ but at the price of my mental and physical well being. Lost weight to be acceptable- started wearing clothes that made ME uncomfortable so that I can feel accepted- started hanging out with particular people even tho they never considered me as their own so that I can feel accepted.. but in return I never got anything- I was never anyone’s best friend- never invited to birthday parties or hangouts- never anyone’s first choice- at one point it felt I was left out on purpose. Of course I wasn’t gonna have any of this so I just decided fuck it and started to do what I wanted- I was also in a depressive zone for a long time with emotionally abusive and absent parents. I started skipping school(for obvious reasons), eventually got bad grades(of course I didn’t do it on purpose) stopped going out to get fries hair cause I would get stared upon for being `depressed’ eventually I gained 2x the weight I had lost and was back to square one. Instead of being by my side and helping me- the people who I thought were my ones- started tormenting me- instead of being asked why and how this happened- I was beaten and humiliated publicly for what I had become. I was physically assaulted by my uncle for behaving `weirdly’(weird behaviour clearly being the signs of depression and anxiety thanks to the years of bullying not only by kids but also adults) and then my parents doing nothing about it and my mom saying that I deserved it. Unfortunately again, I thought there was something wrong with ME and not my abuser’s and I went back to how I was- a people pleaser. Thankfully the train of realisation hit me again at 16-17ish where I had enough of this bullshit- I was treated like shit even before and even now- so why bother to cater to anyone else and live life according to my own terms cause fuck everyone. I’m 18 now and realised my worth- idc if people like me or not- idc if people like what I pursue/study and do what tf I want to do it’s not like they pay my bills, tuition fees. Even since that realisation, no one has dared to say anything to me which is wonderful. And idc if I get a slightly bad grade and what people would think of me - 2 yrs back I failed 11th grade and now I’m an international Med student from 3rd would country in top 50 unis in the world hahaha. Happier than evr

My advice to other Aqua placements who felt like an outcast would be don’t bend to the norms and rules of other people if u feel uncomfortable it will be your downfall. Your success lies in your individuality

This 👏 THIS 👏👏👏👏👏👏

Anon, thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I'm sorry you had to go through all of these hardships but at the end, I think you can be even more proud of yourself. You came out stronger of this dark phase of your life and look where you are now! You can't imagine how happy I am that you finally live up to your own standards and don't give a sh*t about what others might think! You're the most important person in your life. I admire you and I'm proud of you. I send you lots of love and strength, the future will be brighter for you now that you manage to free yourself from all of these burdens 🌈🤍

[aliciameade]

Have Your Cake

Title: Have Your Cake Author: aliciameade Rating: E for Extra Fun Pairing: Beca/Chloe...and Aubrey?! AKA the juggernaut that is: Triple Treble Summary: “I want you.” Beca grins and pulls her close, words spilling out without thinking. “I want you...and her.”

Fully inspired by/based on S1E4 of The L Word Generation Q and Alice, Nat, and Gigi.

Shout out to the peeps who waited 3 years for me to write this threesome in Finding Harmony only for me to never write it. (This isn’t part of FH, to be clear.)

Also on AO3

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

“Are we busy Saturday night?”

Beca watches from the other side of the dinner table as Chloe thinks about it and then consults her phone’s calendar.

“Nope,” Chloe says with a smile before setting down her phone in favor of her fork and the Thai-inspired stir fry they’d made together that evening. “What’s going on?”

“I got invited to this thing.” She knows she’s being too vague. She should have been more specific to prevent further questioning.

“Ooh, what kind of thing?” Chloe asks with a curious waggle of her eyebrows before she takes a sip from her wine glass.

“A party. A birthday party,” she amends.

Chloe perks up. (Not that she was un-perky before.) “Ooh, fun! Do you want to ask Aubrey if she wants to trade weekends?”

Beca glances at their daughter, oblivious to the conversation thanks to the joy of rice noodles. Sophie had commented more than once during their cooking adventure that the noodles looked like her own blonde waves and Beca knows they’re still not clear of the possibility that one of them will be washing fish sauce out of her hair tonight.

“Uh, yeah, about that,” she chuckles and nervously rubs at the back of her neck. “It’s, uh...it’s actually Aubrey’s birthday party? So we’d need to find a sitter.”

She sees the perkiness fade from Chloe’s face. “You’re going to Aubrey’s birthday party?”

“You know we’re trying our best to make this work,” Beca says quickly and quietly, hoping to mend the tear before it frays out of control. “It’s just a party. Amy rented out a whole club for the entire night. There’s going to be a ton of people there. It could be fun. You know we have to try—” she glances at Sophie who smiles up at her just then with an enormous ball of noodles wrapped around her fork and chooses her words carefully. “It’s for the best if we can all have a nice time together.”

“Mommy’s having a birthday party?” 

Beca winces; she could have chosen a better venue to bridge this topic with Chloe, such as any venue where the daughter she had with her ex-wife wasn’t in attendance. Her relationship with Aubrey had been sudden and a whirlwind, or more like a hurricane. She stormed into Beca’s life and somehow they married, had a child, and divorced within five short years.

And now she has Chloe with whom, Beca realized way, way late but apparently not too late, she was always meant to be. She was dumb to not realize it earlier. Then again if she had, she wouldn’t have married Aubrey, but then she wouldn’t have Sophie, and she can’t imagine life without her.

(The fact that Chloe and Aubrey had been best friends when they were all in college together had made for a lot of contentious conversations over the years.

Beca has always wondered if there was more to the contention than two best friends falling for the same person.)

“She is!” she answers. “But this one’s for her grown-up friends. You’re going to celebrate with her on her official birthday.”

“Okay,” Sophie says happily before refocusing on her noodles.

Beca’s own focus shifts back to Chloe. The tension that had appeared in her features when Beca had explained the event has faded.

“I was just surprised I wasn’t invited,” she says, seemingly explaining herself. “What time on Saturday? I’ll see if Abigail can stay with Soph.”

Beca relaxes and offers a gentle smile. “She said you should come, too. I should have clarified. I don’t think she intentionally didn’t invite you personally; it came up when we were texting the other day. And she told me 9:00.”

“So, 10:00?”

Beca can see the humor in Chloe’s eyes and finds relief. “Yeah, make it 10:00.” Chloe knows how Beca hates being first to any event whether a baby shower or a red carpet and something about that, as small as it is, makes her feel warm and fuzzy.

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Inevitably, there are photographers waiting at all entrances to Aubrey’s party venue when Beca and Chloe arrive; Beca even asks the driver to circle the block hoping to find a clear entrance to no avail.

Pushing through shouting photographers and blinding flashes, they walk hand-in-hand into the very upscale West Hollywood club Amy’s commandeered for the festivities. They both take it with a grain of salt; after all, there’s no such thing as bad press and Beca’s been in the studio working on an album with a number one pop star and the sequel to Chloe’s sleeper hit indie film is opening in a few months.

“Remember when we used to start our nights at midnight?” Beca asks over the music as they check out the lay of the land in the club. “It’s barely 10:00 and I’d like being in bed right now just as much as this. Maybe more.”

She means to be whining about how they’re getting older; after all, they’re at Aubrey’s 35th birthday party. However, in classic Chloe fashion that makes Beca roll her eyes just as much as it makes her smile, Chloe leans close to whisper hotly in her ear, “I promise, you’d like being in bed right now a lot more than this.”

“Keep it in your pants. We at least need to make an appearance before dragging me into a dark corner.”

“Like I’d really have to drag you,” Chloe says before pressing a kiss to Beca’s cheek, followed by her neck. “And I’m wearing a dress, not pants.”

Beca smirks to herself and slips her arm around Chloe’s waist. They’re still making up for a decade of lost time together and Beca is as wildly attracted to her now as she was when she was 18.

Dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb. 

Well, not that dumb. She was wildly attracted to Aubrey when she was 18, too. Aubrey was just the one that was brave enough to make a move. Beca can still remember the vitriol laced with sadness seeping from Chloe when she walked in on them kissing in Aubrey’s hotel room in New York while traveling for a competition.

When she spots a few members of the cast of her current favorite TV show, Beca muses to herself how absurd it is that the three of them found the success they did. The indie movie about dragons (with questionable special effects) Chloe had booked to help ends meet in grad school had blown up far past the core audience of the readers of the book it was adapted from. She now has three more films lined up—more adaptations of books in the series (with better special effects). It had almost been a joke when she auditioned and now she was one of the biggest movie stars in the world.

Aubrey started with Lighthouse Television as an intern on their legal team. Seven years later, she had a corner office on the top floor. Four more years and a massive corruption scandal that she blew the whistle on, and she was running the entire network.

Of the three, Beca’s the only one who planned to end up with the career she has today. But the fact that any of them have the careers they have at all is, she knows, more than a little unlikely. She remembers a journalist once asked Chloe what was in the water back at quaint Barden University.

When they finally find Aubrey, she’s talking to several people Beca doesn’t recognize but she can tell they all recognize her and/or Chloe by the looks on their faces as they approach.

“You guys came!” Aubrey says, interrupting her own conversation to leave the group and rush over to hug them, first Chloe, then Beca. She’s wearing a sparkly black dress, fitted at the bust with a free-flowing skirt that stops a few inches above her knees. Her hair is down, save for the bit that’s clipped back above her left ear, and for a moment, Beca remembers the things that made her fall for the woman all those years ago.

Beca feels her linger a second or two too long and eases out of their embrace. “Happy Birthday!” she says. “This party is amazing!”

“Oh, you know how Amy is,” Aubrey says with a wave of her hand. “The word ‘understated’ doesn’t exist in her vocabulary. Where are your drinks?” she continues, barely stopping to breathe. She’s already tipsy; Beca can see it in the color of her cheeks and the way her shoulders aren’t holding their perfect posture. “Let me get you a drink.” Her hand is up and snapping before either of them can politely offer to fetch one themselves. “These two are my best friends,” she says to the waitress who appears from seemingly nowhere. “Get them anything they want.”

She and Chloe exchange a look at Aubrey labeling them as her best friends. They’ve been little more than strained acquaintances since Beca and Chloe got married, keeping up the bare minimum of civility required when co-parenting a child of divorce.

“What can I get you?” they’re asked.

“Bourbon,” Beca answers. “On the rocks.”

Chloe eyes her and Beca knows what she’s thinking: that she hasn’t anything stronger than wine in a long time. They’ve both been so busy with work and family that nights out have been few and far between. “Vodka soda with a splash of cranberry,” Chloe orders for herself and Beca gives her the same look.

Maybe they’re both in dire need of a fun night.

Chloe shrugs in response and threads her fingers with Beca’s.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m actually in the middle of a business conversation,” Aubrey says with a glance over her shoulder at the group she abandoned. “Go enjoy the party. I’ll find you guys later, okay?”

“Working at your own birthday party?” Chloe asks. Beca thinks there’s more than a hint of judgment laced with the comment but Aubrey just nods in response before returning to her presumed colleagues.

“Come on,” Beca says to distract Chloe from whatever weirdness is happening. “Dance with me.” She gives her hand a tug to lead them toward the dance floor.

“But our drinks,” Chloe says with a glance over her shoulder even though her feet are following Beca.

“She’ll find us.” Beca reels Chloe in close when they hit the polished black dance floor; she’s determined to have a good time tonight. “Dance with me,” she repeats and watches Chloe’s distraction disappear. 

Chloe’s arms slip around Beca’s waist to hold her just as closely. “It’s been a while.”

“Exactly,” Beca says as she leans in to touch her lips to Chloe’s as they fall into an easy rhythm together.

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

The waitress definitely found them.

Beca’s hanging on to Chloe to keep herself upright as they laugh. She doesn’t even know what they’re laughing about but it’s so hilarious she can barely catch her breath and Chloe’s laughter in her ear sounds prettier than any song Beca’s ever heard. Chloe runs a hand through her fiery curls and it stirs up her perfume. It draws Beca in like a magnet and her lips are on her neck while Chloe continues to laugh.

Not that Beca minds. A happy Chloe is the most attractive Chloe there is and Chloe’s hands are moving over Beca with possessive purpose. Parties like this, full of “industry people,” are the only places they’re safe to act like themselves. They can’t go to a regular bar on a normal night without causing an uproar, let alone feel each other up on the dance floor without angering their publicists with tabloid photos and trending on Twitter or becoming a meme.

She never got that freedom with Chloe; Beca was already walking red carpets when they finally found each other. Their entire relationship, they’ve had to do their best to be “appropriate” (whatever that means) in public. 

Tonight, though, Beca’s teeth nip at Chloe’s neck playfully when she feels Chloe’s fingertips slipping under the waistband of her black pants to tease her.

“What are you doing?” Beca asks before lifting her head to kiss Chloe instead of letting her respond.

“What does it feel like?” Chloe mumbles against her lips before cutting off any follow-up questions by giving Beca’s tongue something better to do.

She loses track of time after that. She can feel the edge of the bar digging into her back as Chloe presses against her like she can’t get close enough. They haven’t stopped kissing except for the brief moments needed to breathe or down their very, very strong drinks that keep appearing on the bar behind Beca without anyone asking for another. Chloe’s managed to undo at least three buttons on Beca’s white blouse and Beca is grateful that she isn’t wearing a front-clasping bra because if she was, she knows Chloe would undo it and people would really get a show.

Even so, Chloe knows exactly what she’s doing and how to touch Beca to have her teetering on the sharp edge of climax without having to unbutton her pants and Beca’s having to fight off the orgasm Chloe’s managed to drive her to. Not because she doesn’t want to come, but because she doesn’t want to come in a room full of people. At least, not tonight.

Her eyes flutter open when Chloe shifts her attention back to Beca’s neck and in the strobing, flashing lights of the club, Beca notices Aubrey a few yards away. She’s not sure why she noticed her of all the people in the club in the two seconds her eyes were open. Maybe it was because Aubrey’s eyes were already on her. Or them? Watching.

Maybe it’s the bourbon, but something about that manages to turn Beca on further. The hint of jealousy she can read. The memories of the times she and Aubrey were all over each other in a club under the shield of anonymity. The way she was always able to crack Aubrey’s resistance to risky behavior and have a lot of fun together over the course of their hot, heavy, and tumultuous relationship.

And it’s not like the divorce magically made Beca’s attraction to her disappear overnight. Sure, it has waned over the years. It’s hard to notice anyone else when Chloe’s in the room.

She still notices Aubrey, though, and makes a point of guiding Chloe away from her neck to give hers the same treatment. Aubrey doesn’t look away; in fact, a hint of a smile touches her lips when Beca holds her gaze while her tongue glides along Chloe’s skin.

Beca’s too slow to react when Chloe pulls away, intent on kissing her again, when she notices Beca’s eyes aren’t closed. Or even trained on Chloe.

“Who are you looking at?” Chloe asks, slurring a little as she turns to follow Beca’s gaze.

“No one,” Beca says. She knows she maybe should panic when Chloe spots Aubrey, at least a little, but the bourbon and lust are sitting so warm in her belly and brain that she just kind of smiles as she says it.

When Chloe turns back to her, she looks a little sympathetic. “She’s really beautiful.”

“You’re beautifuller,” Beca says as she tries to lean in for another kiss.

“Wait, wait,” Chloe giggles, though her question is serious. “Is there a tiny part of you that still wants her? You can tell me, you know. I trust you.” Her hands are still moving, caressing Beca’s face and neck and the bare skin of her chest where her shirt is open.

“I want you.” Beca grins and pulls her close, words spilling out without thinking. “I want you...and her.”

It’s the bourbon. It’s definitely the bourbon. And the arousal throbbing between her legs. A flash of regret zips through her when she realizes what she said. It wasn’t something she’d ever thought about until 30 seconds ago.

“Right?” Chloe says after a surprised silence. Her smile looks devilish before it’s kissing Beca again. Then she’s turning to wave at Aubrey. “Hey! Come here! We need you!”

Beca doesn’t know if Aubrey can hear Chloe but she crosses the room anyway, tottering a little on her heels with a drink in her hand.

Beca can’t help it. She can’t help but stare at her ex-wife and remember how every inch of her skin tastes and feels and the way her voice sounds when she— 

“Hi,” Aubrey says with an easy smile.

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Beca’s not sure who brought whom to the club manager’s office but Chloe’s closing and locking the door behind them when Beca feels Aubrey’s hand on her lower back.

She also doesn’t remember a discussion happening. She remembers replying to Aubrey’s, “Hi,” with a “Hey,” of her own and now she’s standing by while Chloe and Aubrey seem to size one another up with a level of heat and intensity that shouldn’t exist between two former best friends.

Chloe glances at Beca who just nods, because whatever this is, whatever is happening, she wants it to continue.

And then her current wife is leaning in to kiss her ex-wife.

It shouldn’t be hot; she ought to be angry or jealous but instead, she bites her lip to stop the moan that wants to escape just from watching Aubrey tilt Chloe’s head to slip her tongue into her mouth. If Beca’s underwear weren’t already ruined from Chloe’s advances earlier, witnessing that would have done it.

And Beca thinks Chloe would have every right to be angry or jealous when the kiss ends and Aubrey turns toward Beca, but instead, Chloe’s hand is on the back of Beca’s neck, guiding her right into Aubrey’s kiss with a look of excitement.

She’d almost forgotten what it felt like to kiss Aubrey. She was a precision kisser, calculated even in their wildest moments, always working to make Beca’s toes curl and this is no different. Her tongue teases over Beca’s with skill and familiarity that makes it easy for Beca to shake off the last vestiges of hesitation about what’s about to happen.

What is already happening.

She’s barely getting used to it when the hand at her neck guides her away from Aubrey and pulls her into Chloe.

Unlike Aubrey’s precision, Chloe’s kisses are wild and barely contained, always walking the line of passionate sloppiness without crossing it (well, sometimes she crosses it when they really get going). She feels a third hand on her back, and then just two again, as a third tongue slips its way somehow into their kiss.

It’s not like Beca’s never done this before. She and Chloe have what Beca feels is a very active, adventurous, healthy sex life. They’ve taken a woman on a date, intentions and possibilities known and agreed to by all, and brought her back to a luxury hotel room (because they would never bring a stranger into their home) for sex. Not because they were bored with each other, but to the contrary: they wanted to see how wild and daring they were comfortable getting.

She thinks, foggily as she bows out of the triple-kiss to re-introduce herself to the way Aubrey’s neck feels under her tongue to let Chloe and her get used to each other, that having a ménage à trois with her former and current wives is pretty damn wild and daring.

There are hands on her, out of synch in their missions but familiar in their confidence. There’s one on her ass and she knows it’s Aubrey’s. There’s another in her shirt, somehow fully unbuttoned now, holding her breast and she knows it’s Chloe’s. 

Her own hands are roaming and long to touch Aubrey in places she hasn’t in so many years. It’s automatic to reach for and find the zipper at the back of her dress and, to her surprise, there’s already a hand there.

The fact that it’s Chloe, and that Chloe is on the same page, makes her dip her other hand right between Chloe’s legs, under her dress, to press against her.

She hears Chloe’s soft moan and feels Aubrey react to it (or to the fact that they’re both unzipping her dress), the hand on her ass gripping harder. Beca has to look because there’s no way this is happening (right?) and she eases back from sucking on Aubrey’s neck long enough to see that she’s found her wife’s chest and is quite actively toying with Chloe’s nipple, which is so hard Beca can see the details through her dress even in the dark of the room. It makes her mouth water.

She needs four hands and two mouths. That’s the only way this night isn’t going to be a constant battle of satisfaction versus frustration.

At the very least, they need to not be standing in the middle of the room. She’s about to push them toward the large sectional couch along the far wall when Aubrey starts to pull both of them in that very direction.

Aubrey lands first and she pulls Chloe down with her to resume a kiss that Beca knows, from first-hand experience, is surely melting both of them. Beca follows, everyone shifting further backward, and molds herself to Chloe’s back, chin hooked over her shoulder to watch them.

She lets her hands move over Chloe, over her chest to feel for herself how hard her nipples are, down to her waist and hips and thighs to notice that Chloe’s landed with her knee between Aubrey’s, straddling her thigh as she kneels.

It’s quite a show, Beca thinks, watching them kiss. They kiss like they’ve been waiting to kiss for years.

Beca would know. She’s been that person.

And she has a front-row seat to it as she clings to Chloe’s back, chin on her shoulder as her arms frame Chloe’s hips as her hands rest on Aubrey’s thighs. She can feel Chloe’s restlessness, shifting and twisting every few seconds that is a clear tell that she is starting to get desperate for touch. Chloe getting turned on by Aubrey turns Beca on even more. She can’t help but bite at Chloe’s shoulder, bare next to the strap of her dress.

Aubrey’s eyes flutter and their eyes meet before they’re closed again, Aubrey whimpering as Chloe’s entire body shifts forward to press closer. It makes Beca reach for Chloe to flatten her palm and run it under the hem of the top of her two-piece dress. She feels Aubrey’s hand skate over her own to run up Chloe’s body until it’s shifting to reach for Beca. Her hand finds Beca’s face and cradles it as Beca’s mouth shifts to Chloe’s neck.

She can feel Aubrey’s fingertips as they trace her hairline, the edge of her ear, the line of her jaw, the softness of Beca’s bottom lip until her finger is slipping into Beca’s mouth.

It makes Beca moan and she takes Aubrey into her mouth, lips traveling to her knuckle before she pulls back, sucking as she goes. Her hands move up over Chloe’s ribs until Beca’s hands are over her breasts. She squeezes and Chloe’s reaction is to kiss Aubrey more deeply, the two of them moaning.

But Aubrey retreats, pulling back from Chloe’s kiss enough to get her attention and turn it toward Beca with a tilt of her chin. Chloe turns to look just as Aubrey’s finger slips from Beca’s lips. Beca feels the tip of it under her chin, guiding her up to kiss Chloe—not that she needed guidance—who kisses her hungrily.

Aubrey’s hands are on Chloe and Beca knows it. Their hands are crossing paths as they both reach for her, grazing at her chest and bumping at her hips.

“Please,” Chloe whispers against Beca’s lips as they kiss. She doesn’t say what she wants, but she doesn’t need to. Beca pulls and pushes at her hips until she gets the hint and turns, falling back against Aubrey whose arms immediately encircle her. Beca takes a step back for a second, just to watch as Aubrey’s hands push Chloe’s top higher and higher until her bra is exposed, as Chloe tilts her head back so she can find Aubrey’s mouth, how Aubrey’s legs part so Chloe can sit between them.

Chloe’s hands reach out toward Beca and Beca makes her wait, just for a moment or two, until Chloe whines and drops her hands, one to Aubrey’s thigh and the other two her own. It quickly moves up Chloe’s thigh and Beca’s about to reach for it and stop her from getting too far when Aubrey does it for her.

She looks up to find Aubrey watching her, still kissing Chloe as she pulls Chloe’s hand away from herself with audible protest. It makes Beca reach for Chloe, hands skating up her thighs to hook her fingers into the waistband of her thong and pull it down her legs and past the heels Chloe is still wearing.

It takes the last ounce of self-control Beca has to not immediately reach between Chloe’s legs. Instead, she moves up, dropping kisses over Chloe’s bare stomach and the swells of her breasts where Aubrey’s hands are, to Chloe’s throat and chin until her mouth is on Beca’s instead of Aubrey’s.

Chloe’s entire body rolls with their reconnection, or maybe it’s because Aubrey’s hands are at her back unhooking her bra. She feels Chloe’s repeated plea against her lips more than she hears it, but Aubrey definitely hears it. Chloe’s suddenly being pushed toward Beca, guided until they’re both upright and on their knees. Beca blindly pulls Chloe’s loosened bra away and the top of her dress being removed interrupts their kiss for a second only to resume with even more fervor.

Beca can feel Aubrey moving and with a brief glance, sees her on her knees as well, behind Chloe so close as she kisses Chloe’s neck just inches from Beca. She can feel Aubrey’s hands moving between them; they’re on Chloe, on her stomach and on her breasts, but Beca’s so close that they’re touching her, too, and her impatience gets the best of her.

She stops drawing out the foreplay and skates her hand up Chloe’s thigh under her skirt until it’s between her legs.

Chloe’s mouth slips away from Beca’s with a startlingly loud moan and Beca can feel just why that is. Chloe’s so wet that it actually takes Beca a second to feel more than just slick wetness beneath her fingers.

“Fuck,” Beca exhales. She savors it, her own breath catching when she feels how swollen Chloe is. When she opens her eyes she’s expecting to see Chloe’s face but instead, it’s Aubrey’s. Her eyes are dark and fixated on Beca’s. Beca’s compelled to lean forward and kiss her and she knows Aubrey wants the same. They try, but with Chloe between them, they can’t quite reach one another. Instead, they stare until Aubrey’s eyes fall closed and there’s another, this time surprised, moan spilling from Chloe’s lips.

Chloe’s head lolls back to rest against Aubrey’s shoulder and she looks down her nose at Beca, nothing but wild lust in her eyes before her hips rock forward. It pushes Beca’s hand further between her legs and it’s Beca’s turn to moan. Her fingers bump into something she hasn’t felt between Chloe’s legs before: Aubrey’s hand. 

Specifically, she can feel where Aubrey’s fingers disappear into Chloe as Aubrey reaches her from behind.

It’s an out-of-body experience, really. To be sharing her wife with the woman with whom she used to share so much. With whom she still shares so much.

She and Aubrey had never done something like this, not with a third person. They’d been young and wild but in a different way than she and Chloe are.

“Oh, my God,” Chloe says through another moan as Beca feels Aubrey’s fingers start to slip in and out. Her hips follow and the motion spurs Beca’s own fingers into proper action.

Her fingertips press against Chloe and move in the way she knows can drive Chloe over the edge in a few short minutes. It isn’t that she wants it to end quickly, but she’s overwhelmed by the need to make Chloe feel good, to help Aubrey blow Chloe’s mind.

Hands grab at and touch Beca all over; she can’t keep track of whose hands they are and she doesn’t care to try. She’s too busy fucking Chloe with Aubrey, 

She loses herself in it, the cadence the three of them fall into, fingers and hips moving in a coordinated, if frantic, rhythm. Hands clutch at her hips and she knows Chloe’s close and fighting it. Beca opens her eyes to watch it happen and she meets Aubrey’s gaze first as Aubrey’s lips and tongue move across Chloe’s shoulder to her neck to her ear.

Beca sees the words Aubrey whispers in Chloe’s ear more than she hears them; it’s difficult to hear over Chloe’s voice and their empathetic answering moans.

Chloe comes with a wanton cry, one hand gripping Beca’s wrist between her legs, the other clutching the back of Aubrey’s neck.

It’s a beautiful sight and for a moment, Beca thinks she could come, too, right there, from watching Chloe’s experience and sharing in it with Aubrey.

Aubrey, who’s staring at Beca with a look she hasn’t born witness to in years. A look that Beca’s never forgotten and neither has her body if the way the ache between her legs spikes in intensity because she knows what it means.

Chloe’s still coming down from her high, half-collapsed against Aubrey when Chloe mumbles a breathless, “That was so hot,” followed by a whimper. A few seconds later, Beca notices Aubrey has her own fingers in her mouth and Beca knows they’re the same fingers she’s just withdrawn from Chloe.

Chloe, in her uber-relaxed state, slumps to the side and Beca and Aubrey help to slow her collapse. They’ve barely finished getting her situated when Aubrey’s surging forward to kiss Beca.

It makes Beca’s head spin. Aubrey tastes like Chloe and she moans into the kiss as Aubrey’s hands start to undress her.  Her shirt, already unbuttoned, is pulled down her arms, followed by her bra.

She doesn’t remember when her pants had been unbuttoned but they’re already loose around her hips when Aubrey’s pushing them down. They don’t make it far, still on her knees as she is, but Aubrey’s solution to that is to grab Beca’s hips and turn her to trade places.

“Up,” Aubrey says against Beca’s lips and she doesn’t understand until her ass hits the back of the couch. It’s deep enough that Beca is able to slide onto it to sit and as soon as she’s seated, Aubrey’s working her pants past her knees.

At the same time, Beca feels her heels be slipped off though Aubrey’s hands are definitely on her pants and she glances down to see Chloe, though still dreamy-eyed, has come back to herself and is helping Aubrey undress Beca.

Two different hands pull at her underwear and Beca knows she’s about to find out just how hot it was for Chloe to have the two of them fucking her. She feels dizzy and digs her nails into the edge of the couch and leans back against the wall, almost fearful of passing out because her heart is beating so quickly.

She already knows what Aubrey is going to do; the look she’d given Beca was her warning and she watches as Aubrey guides her thighs apart and gets onto her own hands and knees to be able to put her tongue on Beca.

It feels like it’s in slow-motion as Aubrey’s pointed, purposeful tongue draws a line between her legs, moaning as she does so.

It makes Beca’s jaw drop and her hand fly to the back of Aubrey’s head, fingers twisting into soft blond hair she hasn’t held this way in so many years. She’s sure she makes some kind of sound, probably a sound she’d be ashamed of in any other scenario. It hasn’t even finished escaping her lips when Chloe’s mouth is on hers.

She moans again, senses quickly overwhelmed by the dormant memories of how Aubrey used to make love to her roaring back to real life and Chloe’s wild, passionate kisses that seem to be as reassuring as they are purely sexual.

There are hands at her breasts and they aren’t moving in sync. One caresses while the other squeezes. One pinches while the other pulls.

She has to tear her mouth from Chloe’s to try to catch her breath but it offers little reprieve; Chloe’s lips drop to Beca’s chest instead to suck hard. She glances down and regrets it instantly because Aubrey’s hand is tangled in Chloe’s hair, pushing her mouth to Beca’s breast just as Chloe’s hand covers Beca’s to push Aubrey closer.

It sends her over the edge without warning, gasping for breath as she shudders. She can hear Aubrey moaning; she’d always gotten off on making Beca come, and she wonders if she’s touching herself and coming. Or if Chloe’s touching her. Or if she’s coming just from the intensity of the moment like Beca nearly did.

It’s the last coherent thought she has before she can’t think any longer.

She’s still trying to recover when she feels Aubrey disappear from between her legs. She whines at the loss and starts to protest when she sees the reason for her absence: Chloe’s pulled Aubrey away by her hair and is pulling her—not gently—back up to her knees until she’s claiming her mouth.

All Beca can do is watch; she’s too spent to do anything but watch as Chloe kisses Aubrey deeply. As Chloe’s hand disappears between Aubrey’s legs. As Aubrey’s head tips back with a groan.

They quickly lose themselves in each other but they don’t forget about Beca. Aubrey’s hand, the one not holding on to Chloe, roams Beca’s body. Chloe’s hand is on her thigh, just holding on as though she’s keeping Chloe from floating away.

Maybe she is, Beca thinks as, mind still hazy, she notices her hand is between her own legs.

She notices it almost distractedly, like an afterthought, that she’s touching herself while her wife and her ex fuck right next to her.

There’s no room to care about modesty or feel ashamed. She’s still so turned on that she has to press hard to get any friction against herself. Soaked in the same way Chloe was—and probably still is.

Aubrey and Chloe’s voices sound so good together, she does manage to note, and she focuses on them. It’s too difficult to keep her eyes open to watch so she listens. She listens to Aubrey’s increasingly desperate moans, to Chloe’s sighs and words of encouragement, to the unmistakable sounds of wetness—her own and Aubrey’s. She feels Aubrey’s fingers tugging on her nipple and Chloe’s nails on her inner thigh. Feels her own fingers on her clit.

She hears how close Aubrey is and, unexpectedly, how close Chloe is as well.

Chloe had been the sole giver when Beca had closed her eyes and she has to open them to see what’s happening, to see the way Aubrey’s hand moves between Chloe’s legs and how their hips buck as they ride each other’s fingers.

It yanks Beca right to the edge just as they climax and her own rushes through her in tandem with theirs.

All she can register beside her ecstasy is how good they all sound together. Just like they used to.

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Beca is still drunk.

It’s the first thing she notices when she wakes up. She’s also thirsty and feels like she needs a shower.

It’s also far too early to be awake—it’s still dark—and she turns over to move in closer to Chloe, warm and soft next to her.

She’s just drifting off again when there’s movement behind her and an arm slipping around her waist followed by lips on the back of her shoulder.

Her mind is foggy and it takes a few seconds to register that it isn’t Chloe because Chloe is in front of her, not behind. Then she catches a whiff of familiar perfume.

The memories of last night surface and though Beca thinks she should probably be horrified or embarrassed, she’s instead filled with a kind of warmth and she moves her foot backward to slip between Aubrey’s.

~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

The next time she wakes up, the bedroom is alight with the orange glow of dawn. She’s no longer drunk and she’s awake and is alone with her thoughts and memories until she feels Chloe stir.

She’s awake, too, and wiggles until she’s turned over to face Beca. “Morning,” Chloe says with a sleepy smile. For a moment, Beca wonders if Chloe remembers what transpired the night before until Chloe asks, “How are you?”

“I’m good,” she replies. And she is, Beca thinks. She’s okay with what happened. It was a wild, drunken encounter between three consenting adults, all of whom trust and care for the others. “Are you?”

Chloe beams at her, even through her hangover, and nods.

“Oh, my God, my head is pounding.”

The voice startles Beca as it breaks their whispered conversation. She cranes her neck to look over her shoulder at Aubrey sitting up next to her, one hand holding the sheet to her chest, the other clutching her forehead.

“I can make coffee,” Chloe says helpfully and starts to move but Beca touches her hip to tell her to stay.

“It’s okay, I’ll do it.” She’s been awake long enough that the threat of physical movement causing instant nausea has lessened.

She detangles herself from the sheets to crawl off the foot of the bed; there’s a familiar graze of fingertips across her shoulder and it stirs bittersweet nostalgia within her. It’s only when she’s on her feet and turning back while she tugs a T-shirt over her head to face what’s in her bed that the gravity genuinely sets in. She’s out of bed, out of the bubble, and she feels it pop.

She slept with her ex-wife last night.

So did her wife.

Nausea rushes her and she thinks she might gag but her reaction to the stress is interrupted by the pounding of a tiny fist on the door.

“Mama!”

“Shit,” Aubrey hisses, suddenly coming back to life as she scrambles out of bed.

“Just a minute, sweetie!” Chloe sing-songs and Beca can hear the panic in her voice.

Beca feels stuck and her brain is struggling to process; she doesn’t know what will happen if Sophie walks in to find her Mom, Mama, and Mommy having a sleepover together.

“Can I lock the door?!” Aubrey whisper-shouts as she frantically searches for items of her clothing to get dressed. 

“Yes, you can lock the door!” Beca manages to say, brain beginning to work and feet starting to move to find shorts to put on. 

“It wasn’t already locked?” Chloe asks from the bed she’s making while she’s still in it.

Aubrey’s running around so quickly, Beca’s not sure she won’t set the floor on fire. “Aubrey, she can’t see you; slow down.”

“I’m supposed to pick her up for our trip to the aquarium in—” she looks at a phone she finds on the floor—“five minutes!”

“In your dress from the party?” Chloe asks as she crawls out from under the covers and to the end of the bed.

“Walk of shame, I guess,” Aubrey says she tries to shove her arms into the sleeves of her dress that’s on backward.

“Oh, my God, here,” Beca says as she finds and hands Aubrey another of her tees.

Aubrey looks at it and frowns. “Budweiser? Really?”

“Turn it inside out.”

“You know, there’s no shame in—” Beca starts but Aubrey cuts her off.

“I’m going to go around the back and ring the doorbell, okay?” she says, already heading for the sliding glass door. “Crush some aspirin and put it in my coffee? I’m dying.”

“Yeah, sure,” Chloe says from her spot on the bed. She’s eating a piece of cake and Beca does a double-take. She has no idea where she got cake from.

“Savior,” Aubrey says before she disappears, still holding her heels instead of wearing them.

“Mom!” Sophie shouts again.

“Just a sec, sweetheart!” Beca calls in response as she starts toward the door, only to stop and look at Chloe, naked in bed eating mystery cake with a smile. “Are we...fine?”

Chloe shrugs and sucks the frosting off the tines of her fork. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

Beca makes a mental note to circle back on this situation once they’re both clear-headed and pulls open the bedroom door just as the doorbell rings. “Good morning, my big girl!” she says as she reaches down to lift her daughter and hug her good morning. “Did you hear the doorbell? Mommy’s here! Let’s go say ‘hi’!”

Aubrey looks impossibly flustered when Beca opens the front door and, she realizes, the morning panic was unnecessary. It’s not as though Sophie is old enough to understand what a Walk of Shame looks like or what it even meant for Aubrey to spend the night with Beca and Chloe.

“Morning,” she says with a smirk as she hands her wiggling-with-excitement daughter to Aubrey who immediately showers her face with kisses.

Aubrey doesn’t quite make eye contact, instead choosing to stay focused on making Sophie giggle.

“I’m making coffee.” The words drift past them as Chloe makes her way to the kitchen. “You’re welcome to join us for a cup,” she adds.

Aubrey does meet Beca’s eyes then as if questioning the invitation, or maybe asking for permission.

“Come on in,” Beca says after a beat, stepping aside to let Aubrey [back] into their home.

She doesn’t understand what transpired between them. Maybe she isn’t supposed to. She doesn’t regret it, at least not yet. It was fun. It was hot. And Chloe actually inviting Aubrey [back] into their home this morning and not being upset is a relief. Their long-held and only-somewhat thinly veiled contempt for one another has been exhausting for Beca to navigate and, at least for the moment, seems to have evaporated.

Beca can’t say she minds as she closes the door to join them in the kitchen.

It would be kind of nice to have Aubrey around more without the tension.

And if there was tension...Beca thinks as she watches Chloe tease Aubrey by tickling at her lower back...they have a pretty good way to relieve it.

The End

[spacenoise]

Essential Steven Universe Episodes

Hello everyone! 

Looking to watch Steven Universe, but not drag yourself through all the episodes? Never fear! I’ve made a list of what I believe to be the most essential episodes of Steven Universe with unnecessary ones labelled as such (and my reasons why). Now here’s some things to keep in mind before looking at the list:

When I say “essential” I mean ones that introduce important elements to the story. New important characters, new powers, episodes that develop the character and plot-relevant episodes fit this category. 

Episodes that develop certain characters will be labeled as “unnecessary” if they don’t contribute enough to the plot or their growth.

There may be some personal bias since I found one or two filler episodes to be enjoyable despite their uselessness to the overall plot but I’ll label them as well so you know.

 Avoid reading ahead. The labels for unnecessary ones may contain SPOILERS so if you care about that kind of stuff: you’ve been warned.

On to the list!

Season 1

1. Gem Glow

2. Laser Light Cannon

3. Cheeseburger Backpack: Steven’s first mission

a. Together Breakfast: shows off gem rooms and a monster but that’s really it.

b. Frybo: introduces PeeDee but he doesn’t ever really do anything so...?

4. Cat Fingers

5. Bubble Buddies

6. Serious Steven

a. Tiger Millionaire: while there is some character development, there isn’t really enough to make it worth watching since most of the episode is focused on wrestling.

7. Steven’s Lion

8. Arcade Mania

9. Giant Woman

10. So Many Birthdays: a peek at how dark this show can get

11. Lars and the Cool Kids

a. Onion Trade: mainly about Onion; if you like his character, feel free to watch but if not I’d avoid it since it ultimately doesn’t mean much.

12. Steven the Sword Fighter

13. Lion 2: The Movie

a. Beach Party: Gems piss off the family that runs the town’s pizza shop and try to make it up to them by inviting them to hang out. Shenanigan ensue, but has no lasting impact on the story.

14. Rose’s Room

15. Coach Steven

a. Joking Victim: develops Sadie and Lars’ relationship; skip if you don’t really care about either

16. Steven and the Stevens

17. Monster Buddies

18. An Indirect Kiss

19. Mirror Gem & Ocean Gem 

a. House Guest: shows why Steven has trouble with his powers, but nothing too important happens other than that; watch if you wanna see more Pearl & Greg interactions

20. Space Race: shows Pearl’s fondness of space; develops her character and background but not necessary; skip if you want

a. Secret Team: if you don’t like episodes about characters making temporary truces I’d avoid this one; not enough character development to make it worthwhile.

b. Island Adventure: another Sadie and Lars episode; Lars opens about his feelings but not much else happens.

21. Keep Beach City Weird: relevant for SU: Future reasons, but if you don’t like Ronaldo skip

22. Fusion Cuisine

a. Garnet’s Universe: contributes nothing, but is a kinda cute episode.

b. Watermelon Steven: introduces a character(s) that is only used a total of three (maybe four?) times; also introduces a power that is rarely ever used when it matters.

23. Lion 3: Straight to Video

24. Alone Together

25. Warp Tour

a. The Test: some good character discussions, but not important overall.

26. Future Vision

27. On the Run

a. Horror Club: if you don’t care for Ronaldo, Sadie or Lars: skip. Even if you care about Lars, skip this one since you kinda get the gist of his character at this point.

b. Winter Forecast: a few nice moments, but ultimately a big “what-if” episode

28. Maximum Capacity

29. Marble Madness

30. Rose’s Scabbard

a. Open Book: a Steven and Connie episode; fun if you like them, but skippable

b. Shirt Club: focuses on one of the Cool Kids but ultimately means nothing

c. Say Uncle: Uncle Grandpa Crossover; some funny moments from the Gems but if you don’t like UG avoid this one.

31. Story for Steven

32. The Message

a. Political Power: addresses certain concerns the Gems have, but nothing important crosses over into the next episode; most about Mayor Dewey anyway

33. The Return

34. Jailbreak

-------------------

Season 2

1. Full Disclosure

a. Joy Ride: Steven messes around with the Cool Kids; there’s a bit here briefly referenced in SU: Future I think, but other than nothing really happens; skip it if you want

b. Love Letters: properly introduces Jamie and shows his character, but he never does anything for the plot. All you need to know if him and Steven are friends.

c. Reformed: introduces Amethyst's new form and shows more of her insecurities but that’s all this episode is really good for.

2. Sworn to the Sword

a. Rising Tides, Crashing Skies: a Ronaldo episode; need I say more?

3. Keeping It Together

4. We Need To Talk

5. Chille Tid

6. Cry for Help

7. Keystone Motel

a. Onion Friend: another Onion episode; addresses how Amethyst feels regarding the current situation, but other than that nothing worthwhile.

b. Historical Friction: Jamie puts on a play and some gem stuff is involved; no action, but tells us about the Gems’ history

8. Friend Ship

a. Nightmare Hospital: mostly about Connie and her mom; some cool scary bits, but skippable.

b. Sadie’s Song: entirely about Sadie and how her mom makes her feel; skip if you don’t care much for Sadie.

9. Catch and Release

10. When It Rains

11. Back to the Barn

a. Too Far: develops Peridot and Amethyst’s relationship, and develops Peridot’s character, but not enough to make this episode necessary

12. The Answer

a. Steven’s Birthday: fun episode, but ultimately contributes nothing

13. It Could’ve Been Great

14. Message Received

a. Log Date 7 15 2: shows how Peridot got to where she is (as a character) and fills in some holes between Catch and Release and Message Received; fun and worth watching but skippable regardless

-------------------

Season 3

1. Super Watermelon Island

2. Gem Drill

3. Same Old World

4. Barn Mates

5. Hit the Diamond

a. Steven Floats: introduces new power but not much else

b. Drop Beat Dad: Explains where Greg gets his money, and I guess if you’re a Sour Cream fan watch this one? Skip if you’re not. 

6. Mr. Greg

7. Too Short To Ride

a. The New Lars: focuses on Lars mostly, but Sadie also shows up at one point; skip if you don’t care about them.

b. Beach City Drift: watch if you like Stevonnie; skip if you don’t really care.

c. Restaurant Wars: pointless fight between the pizza shop family and the fry stand family. I guess if you like food watch this one, but you can skip this one.

d. Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service: focuses on certain member’s of the pizza family. Skippable, but watch if you like pizza I guess.

8. Monster Reunion

9. Alone at Sea

a. Greg the Babysitter: a “stories of the past” episode where Rose shows up; nothing important really happens though

b. Gem Hunt: a certain character makes a return, but not until the end of the episode; skippable

10. Crack the Whip

a. Steven vs. Amethyst: develops their relationship but skippable overall

11. Bismuth

12. Beta 

13. Earthlings

14. Back to the Moon

15. Bubbled

-------------------

Season 4

a. Kindergarten Kid: Looney Tunes-esque episode; fun but skippable

b. Know Your Fusion: certain fusions return but still skippable

c. Buddy’s Book: shows off more of the Gems’ history and has Rose in it; still skippable despite all this since none of it is super important.

2. Mindful Education

a. Future Boy Zoltron: skippable since it focuses on Mr. Smiley and a former colleague; watch if you want to see some fun interactions.

b. Last One Out of Beach City: fun episode and shows some of Pearl’s development, but still skippable.

c. Onion Gang: it’s an Onion episode so: skippable.

d. Gem Harvest: Thanksgiving episode; reveals Steven’s real last name but nothing else important.

3. Three Gems and a Baby

4. Steven’s Dream

5. Adventures in Light Distortion

6. Gem Heist

7. The Zoo

8. That Will Be All

a. The New Crystal Gems: shows us what Connie, Lapis and Peridot did while Steven was in space. Nothing really happens so just skip this one.

9. Storm in the Room

a. Rocknaldo: features Ronaldo once again and is arguably one of the worst episodes. Thankfully, it’s skippable.

b. Tiger Philanthropist: callback to an older episode; doesn’t contribute anything to the current plot

10. Room for Ruby

a. Lion 4: Alternate Ending: goes no where and contributes nothing; reveals possible name for Steven if he was a girl though so...cool I guess? Skip it.

11. Doug Out

a. The Good Lars: develops Lars’ character a little, but not much else

12. Are You My Dad

13. I Am My Mom

-------------------

Season 5

a. Stuck Together: Steven and Lars’ relationship develops further along with Lars’ character; some dramatic moments make it an overall a good episode, but you can skip it if you want.

1. The Trial

2. Off Colors

3. Lars’ Head

a. Dewey Wins: Steven realizes why Connie’s upset with him; saved you from watching Mayor Dewey for almost eleven minutes.

b. Gemcation: another good episode, but skippable regardless.

4. Raising the Barn

a. Back to the Kindergarten: shows how Peridot feels after a certain event, but nothing else really happens.

b. Sadie Killer: Sadie starts a band and that’s it. Skip if you don’t care much for Sadie.

c. Kevin Party: watch for character drama and one resolution, but skip if you can’t stand Kevin.

5. Lars of the Stars

6. Jungle Moon

7. Your Mother and Mine

a. The Big Show: a Sadie’s band episode; skippable

b. Pool Hopping: shows off Garnet’s fears and insecurities but is still skippable

c. Letters to Lars: basically amounts to Dewey finding his place in town after losing his job; nothing else so just skip this one.

8. Can’t Go Back

9. A Single Pale Rose

10. Now We’re Only Falling Apart

a. What’s Your Problem: develops Steven and Amethyst’s relationship further; skip if you want, but it’s a good episode to watch.

11. The Question

12. Made of Honor

13. Reunited

14. Legs From Here To Homeworld

15. Together Alone

a. Escapism: shows how Steven contacts the B-team but overall just feels kind of out of place? Skip if you want.

16. Change Your Mind (four parts; almost an hour long btw)

  -------------------

Watch Steven Universe: The Movie if you plan on watching Steven Universe: Future

 -------------------

Steven Universe: Future

1. Little Homeschool

a. Guidance: skippable since nothing in this episode is mentioned ever again. Smoky Quartz is in it though so watch if you like her.

2. Rose Buds

3. Volleyball

a. Bluebird: introduces Greg’s new look and a new fusion that’s never brought up again.

b. A Very Special Episode: fun episode but contributes nothing to the overall story.

4. Snow Day

a.  Why So Blue: shows other Lapis Lazulis and shows us how far Lapis has really come; watch if you’re a Lapis fan, but skip if you want.

b. Little Graduation: skip if you never really cared too much about any of the human characters since this is mostly about them.

c. Prickly Pair: downer of an episode; no one ever mentions anything that’s said in this episode, but check it out if you wanna see Steven more of Steven’s plant powers!

6. In Dreams

7. Bismuth Casual

8. Together Forever

9. Growing Pains

a. Mr. Universe: Greg’s history is revealed but doesn’t contribute much so skip if you don’t really care about that too much.

10. Fragments

11. Homeworld Bound

12. Everything’s Fine

13. I Am My Monster

14. The Future

And that’s it! I guess let me know if this list was helpful or not, but other than that: I hope you enjoy Steven Universe!

[holidaywishes]

All Roads Lead To You I

Part 1: From Buildings to Beaches

  Summary of series: JJ took a job at the old Samson Estate -- mostly mowing lawns, cleaning Mr. Samson’s yacht and serving at his dinner parties -- for the sole purpose of distracting himself from the fact that he seemed to be the only one left from the crew. Sarah and John B. were still “lost at sea” after almost a year and Pope and Kie were... well, they were becoming Pope and Kie, so he needed something to occupy his time. When a new girl comes to town, JJ thinks it’s the perfect way to let off some steam but it may be more difficult than he anticipated.

  Summary of chapter: Adelaide Samson hasn’t been in North Carolina since she was six years old but now that her favourite cousin, Alexis, is turning 18 she’s back for a short visit -- that might last longer than she intended.

  Warning: Little bit of angst, lot of exposition/introduction, little bit of fluff

  Author’s Note: I hope you like it and I want to give a shoutout to @ptersparkers for writing an awesome imagine also with a female New Yorker coming to steal JJ’s heart. While mine’s much more tame than theirs, I wanted to add their name in case there’s any similarities or overlapping themes but, also, to give credit where credit is due! Also, I did it again. I came up with a name for the Female character but you’re obviously allowed to replace it with yours -- I just liked the name that’s all. Have Fun!

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

Addy’s P.O.V

  Alexis called you frantic one day, asking what she should do for her birthday

  “Come out to New York. Aren’t you tired of the beach?” you joked

  “Aren’t you tired of the crowds?” she joked back

  “Touché but seriously. The last time you were here was what? Like five years ago?”

  “Yeah because..” she struggled to come up with an excuse, “because.. I don’t know. I like the beach and the sun and the laid back attitude here. I panic too much when I’m in the City.”

  “That’s just because you haven’t spent enough time here...” you insisted

  “I’m turning 18, Ads,” Alexis whined, “I want, no scratch that, I need to do something amazing.”

  “What are your options?” you finally asked

  “Honestly? At this point, we’re only throwing around the idea of a Yacht party...”

  “Blech,” you said in disgust, “that sounds like your mom was throwing out ideas.”

  “Maybe...” she joked before sighing loudly, “help me out! The whole Yacht thing is not really my first choice but it’s all I’ve got right now. I can’t come to New York City”

  “And why not?” you asked, feigning insult

  “Because the people I would invite would be too.. stuck up about where they’d want to go”

  “Doesn’t that say something about your friends?” you questioned

  “Come to the OBX”

  “Lexi..” you sighed

  “Why won’t you come back?”

  “Why won’t you come here?”

  “I already answered that” she said

  “I can’t come back to the Outer Banks”

  “Why not?!”

  “Because.. I haven’t been back there in years. I just.. I wouldn’t know what to do there..”

  “Celebrate my birthday with me. Drink some beer. Surf a little”

  “Ah see, no. I don’t surf. I don’t know how and I don’t care to learn. I’ll hang out on land or on a boat.”

  “Paddle board then”

  “Hold on, are you telling me that you know how to surf?” you asked, chirping her a little because it seemed so far off from something she would actually do

  “Yes I’ve been learning how to surf. I’ve got a great teacher...” she lied but you pretended like you didn’t hear it

  “Okay..” you smiled to yourself, thinking you could catch her in a lie, “fine. I’ll come out there. For you, for your birthday. But I won’t stay longer than the weekend.”

  “YAY!” she exclaimed, practically bursting your ear drum with her high-pitched squeal, “I’m so excited! We’re gonna have fun. So much fun, you’ll never want to leave The Outer Banks.”

  “I highly doubt that.”

xx

JJ’s P.O.V

  “I need you at full attention, JJ” Mr. Samson said, appearing beside you as you prepared the lawnmower

  “Sir?” you asked confused

  “Turns out my daughter’s coming into town. I haven’t seen her in.. wow, 10 years,” he sighed, “I need the lawn and the house to be perfect.”

  “Yes sir” you replied, nodding to Mr. Samson who thanked you before walking away

  “Thanks, son” he said as he got to the patio and you smiled at his words. While you finished working on the lawn, you noticed Kiara and Pope pull up in front and you shook your head at their arrival.

  “JJ!” Kiara yelled, “JJ COME ON!”

  “You can’t ignore us forever man!” Pope called

  “I’m not ignoring you,” you replied, turning back toward the house to put the lawnmower in the shed, “I’m just working.”

  “They’re gone, JJ!” Kie shouted, sighing when you finally stopped walking, your back still to them, “we’re just trying to live our lives. It’s been almost a year!”

  “You guys just gave up!” you shouted and both Pope and Kie took a step back in shock, “no one found their bodies. No one knows for sure what happened to them. It was up to us to keep looking for them but you both gave up!”

  “We didn’t! We just..” she said, glancing at Pope briefly before she looked back at you, “we had to think realistically about their chances.”

  “They could still be alive!”

  “JJ!” Pope yelled, trying to get you to calm down, “they’re gone. What’s it gonna take for you to accept that?” You nodded your head slowly, moving your tongue against the inside of your bottom lip before eventually turning away

  “I gotta get back to work. See you around.” you answered snidely, waving your hand above your head as the words exited your throat.

  “JJ?” you heard a voice softly call to you but you didn’t see anyone so you ignored it, “JJ?”

  “WHAT?” you snapped when you heard the voice again, finally seeing Alexis pop out from around the corner

  “I’m sorry...” she said, standing more than arms length away from you, “I didn’t want to interrupt. I can come back”

  “No, I’m sorry, Lex,” you sighed, “what’s up?”

  “Well...” she started, “I have a favour to ask but you can feel free to say no, because it’s kinda weird and --“

  “What’s the favour Alexis?” you smiled at her ramblings

  “My cousin is coming into town from New York. I told her.. I’ve been learning to surf...” she said while a look of embarrassment rushed across her face

  “You want me to teach you how to surf before your cousin gets here? When is she coming?”

  “She’s your boss’s daughter. Didn’t he tell you?”

  “Ah shit,” you smirked, dropping your head to the ground, “didn’t even think about that. She’ll be here in like two days, I can’t teach you how to surf in two days...”

  “No see that’s the thing!” she exclaimed, “I don’t need you to actually teach me how to surf. I just need you to pretend like you’ve been teaching me how to surf. There’s no way Addy is actually gonna ask me to ‘show how my skills’ so as long as you talk me up and I talk your teaching skills up, she’ll never know!”

  “You really think so?”

  “Maybe?” she sighed, her voice rising as her shoulders shrugged, “look, I have never had anything to.. brag about to my cousin. She may be one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, like truly a compassionate soul, but she’s like... effortlessly cool? She lives in New York City, I mean come on”

  “It’s just a City, Lex, doesn’t make her cool” you laughed

  “Everyone I’ve ever met falls at her feet. I just want to have something that she doesn’t.”

  “And that one thing is surfing?”

  “Yeah! Yes!” she smiled, “there’s no surfing in New York, at least not that I know of, and she told me she has no interest in learning how to surf. Which means, if we can trick her into thinking I’ve been learning, I’ll have something over her.”

  “Fine,” you agreed, “but how exactly do you suggest we do this?”

  “We’ll be very strategic with bringing in boards so she can see me holding one,” she explained, “I’ll make sure to get her to come to the beach when the two of us are already there, so she can catch us in the water... on the boards obviously...”

  “Right. Okay, I think I get it. You wanna lie to her. I’m great at lying, ask anyone,” you boasted, “will I be getting something out of this?”

  “You mean am I gonna pay you?” she asked and you smiled, “No, but nice try. Consider it.. an extension of the job you already have.”

  “I don’t really see what I’m getting then..”

  “You’re getting the joy of knowing you get to brag about yourself,” she smirked, “which I know you’ll love.”

  “Only because everyone should realize how awesome I am,” you laughed and she smiled hopefully at you, “fine. I’ll do it.”

  “Thank you, JJ!” She squealed, hugging you as she did so, “you’re the best!”

  “That I am” you replied as she took herself off of you and headed back toward the house. It was an odd request but Alexis was a nice girl so you didn’t see the harm in aiding her lie. Plus, you knew you could probably have some fun with it so why not add it to the list of distractions for the summer?

xx

Addy’s P.O.V

  You drove into the Outer Banks so that no one would have to worry about picking you up and so you could try to surprise Alexis, but you hadn’t planned on getting there so early in the morning. It was clear to you that your parents were trying to woo you back into the OBX life when you saw the entire house staff frantically cleaning for, what they thought, was your afternoon arrival. You snickered to yourself before heading to the kitchen.

  “Hello doll,” a woman said to you as you walked through the door, “are you lost?” Clearly, your picture wasn’t plastered around the house like you thought they’d be, or maybe the only pictures your parents had were before you went away, so the staff had no idea who you were. Which meant you could fly under the radar for a bit.

  “I don’t think so, just a little late. I’m supposed to be helping prepare some of the food for when Mr. and Mrs. Samson’s daughter comes into town.” You said with a shy smile, hoping the woman would believe you

  “Perfect! You’re in the right place then. My name is Sharon and you are...” she asked and you felt a slight panic in your chest as you tried to think of a name

  “Adelaide!” You heard a familiar voice call from behind you, “Adelaide Samson, why are you tryin’ to trick your daddy’s staff?” You turned around to see one of the only people you remembered from your childhood at the Estate

  “Ms. Margaret?” you exclaimed, “you’re still here?”

  “Of course I’m still here, darlin’, now are you gonna answer my question or not?” she asked

  “What questio-- oh...” you stammered, “I didn’t mean any harm Ms. Margaret, I just wanted to see if I could.. be someone other than Mr. and Mrs. Samson’s daughter.”

  “You know you’re more than that.” She said, dropping her hip as she scolded you, “Well, since you’re back here, wanna help prepare the food?”

  “I’d be delighted” you answered and she set you up in front of two bowls, asking you to begin prepping the peas for blanching; cutting the top of the pod, pulling down the fiber along the middle and emptying the pod into the second bowl, repeating until the first bowl was empty. You let your mind wander as you did the tedious work, being jolted back to the kitchen when you heard your mother’s voice. “She can’t know I’m here, Ms. Margaret!” you exclaimed, hiding behind the cabinets

  “Mrs. Samson, how are you doing today?” Margaret asked

  “I’m doing well, Margaret, thank you for asking. How are you?” your mother reciprocated

  “Very well, Mrs. Samson, can I help you with anything?”

  “No No,” she replied, that infamous lilt in her voice you’d know anywhere, “I’m just checking that everything is going smoothly in here. Say, Margaret, Sharon,” she stopped, a question rising on her tongue, “have you seen my Adelaide? I think that’s her car out front but she’s not there. Neither her father nor I have seen her yet, I thought maybe she’d wandered into the kitchen. She did always do that when she was young...”

  “She was a wanderer, your young Adelaide,” Margaret answered with a smile, “but I’m afraid we haven’t seen her. Maybe she went down to the water?”

  “Maybe. Well, anyway, I didn’t mean to bother you. Keep up the good work!” she said with a pep in her voice and you rolled your eyes as she left, waiting to be told the coast was clear

  “Thank you, Ms. Margaret, Ms. Sharon,” you said, “I don’t think I’m ready to see them just yet...”

  “Well you better be.” Sharon said, rather curtly, before nodding her head once and walking to her counter to continue her prep

  “She’s right, Ms. Addy, you better get into that house and act like you just wondered in from the beach or somewhere. We don’t need any trouble for hiding you, you got that?”

  “Yes, Ms. Margaret.” You replied, smiling shyly before giving her a hug goodbye, “I really did miss you”

  “You could’ve come back anytime”

  “You know that’s not true.”

  “Sure it is! Now go!” she exclaimed, shooing you out of the kitchen. You snuck into the house via an old tunnel that lead from the kitchen to your room, among other locations, and popped in when the room was empty.

  “Hmm.. nothing’s changed” you said to yourself, ducking behind your dresser when you heard footsteps in the hallway. When the sound disappeared, you tiptoed to the door, looking in either direction past the door frame before you left your room, making your way down the winding staircase. When you finally got downstairs, you started looking through the family pictures on the credenza’s and the mantel in the living room, realizing just how right you were; none of the pictures they had of you were past the age of six. Suddenly, you heard something break and a groan come from the other room.

  “Shit” a boy said under his breath as he examined the broken glass under his feet, looking to make sure, you assumed, that your dad wasn’t coming down to investigate the sound.

  “Don’t..” you said, stopping him picking up the glass, “you’ll cut yourself. Here, use this.” You continued, pulling out a small dust pan that was hidden near the desk

  “Thanks...” he said suspiciously, and the look on his face seemed to be trying to figure you out

  “You’re welcome...” you returned his suspicious tone, “have you seen Mr. Samson anywhere?”

  “He should be upstairs.. I’m sorry, who are you?” He finally asked

  “Adelaide. Samson,” You answered and his back straightened, as if he were correcting himself for you, “but everyone calls me Addy”

  “Nice to meet you,” he said, his voice was both confident and shaky, “I’m JJ. I uh.. I work for your dad. And I guess for you too”

  “No..” you corrected, “you don’t work for me. I am not my parents. You may work for them but you don’t work for me.” You smiled awkwardly at your own words before he returned a smile, “it’s nice to meet you JJ. I’ll see you around.” You walked past him, unintentionally grazing his arm with your shoulder, feeling a shiver rush down your spine once the contact was broken. You could feel him look down at you but you did everything you could to keep your eyes straight and keep walking because you weren’t looking for a reason to stay.

  “Adelaide, sweetheart!” your dad said as he flew into the room where you stood, “I’m so glad you’re finally back!”

  “I’m not--” you tried but your dad seemed to be distracted by the broken glass in the dust pan

  “What happened here?” he questioned sternly

  “Dad it’s j--”

  “JJ?” he accused the blonde behind you and you furrowed your brow at how quick he was to blame someone other than you

  “Dad, I was looking around and the paperweight fell. He came in when he heard the noise to see that everything was okay...” you explained, protecting JJ from the wrath you knew your father was capable of

  “That true?” he asked, stepping toward JJ

  “Yes sir,” he said, keeping his eyes down until he spoke again, “I was cleaning up in the other room when I heard something fall, so I came right in and found.. your daughter trying to pick up the pieces.” You smiled at him from behind your father, nodding at his continuation of your fib before your father looked back at you once before responding to JJ

  “Well,” he said, looking JJ up and down, “I guess I owe you a thank you. And an apology. So.. thank you and I’m sorry for accusing you so quickly.”

  “Thank you, sir” he said quietly before being dismissed and, while your father wrapped his arm around you to welcome you back into his home, you looked back at the boy who you’d shared an unspoken moment with and smiled to yourself. Not knowing if, or when, you’d have a moment with him again. 

[bobasheebaby]

200 Brooklyn 99 Prompts

Rosa

1 “Talk to him, that's what friends do.” “Nope. I'm gonna wait 'til I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.” “That's your plan for dealing with this?” “That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I'm going to win that way.”

2 “I'm already seeing somebody, NAME.” “Oh, and just like that, things got interesting.” “And just like that, I left.”

3 “NAME is even wearing his/her formal leather jacket.” “It's the one without any blood on it.”

4 “Right, that's the guy/girl you said the lame stuff about. Like he’s/she's a good listener.” “Sorry, what do you look for in a guy/girl?” “Real stuff, like the shape of his/her ass.”

5 “Sorry I'm late. I had to go back to the deli and return my Everything Bagel. In what world does everything not include beef jerky?” “All of them.”

6 “He/She also likes to look up recipes online and go, "Who's got the time?"

7 “Thank you, NAME. Your entire life is garbage.”

8 “NAME , tell us about your family.” “I have one.”

9 “Anyone over the age of six celebrating a birthday should go to hell.”

10 “I am dating his/her nephew/niece. Now we are hanging out on weekends. What is next? Oh! Small talk.”

11 “Wait, is that a smile I see?” “Possibly. My immune system is too weak to fight off my smile muscles.”

12 “Whoa, what happened? You know what, forget it. I'll just read NAME’s notes.”

13 “NAME? Are you stuck in there?” “No, I'm in here by choice.” “Oh, 'cause I hear some banging noises as if someone was struggling to open the door.” “No. That was the pipes.” “Or, is it the sound of you learning how to ask for help? You know, you can't spell ‘independent’ without ‘dependent.’” “And you can't spell ‘Go [bleep] yourself’ without ‘[bleep] you.’”

14 “I've said "excuse me" more times this morning than I have in my entire life. Twice!”

15 “Oh, nothing better after a long shift than coming to BAR NAME. It's like Cheers, where everybody knows your name.” “A place where everybody knows your name is hell. You're describing hell.”

16 “So, what is this? Casual, serious? I need to know how to make fun of you.”

17 “NAME and I broke up. He/She ate soup too much.” “What, like every day?” “It happened twice.”

18 “So, what are you drinking?” “I'll have a margarita. But, like, a skinny margarita. So, like, tequila, lime, and a tiny splash of agave.” “Mm. I refuse to order that.”

19 “What are you looking all wistful about?” “Just thinking, about relationships and love, and how I'm way better at them than I thought I'd be. Should I do a TED Talk on it?” “Doesn't seem any dumber than all the other TED Talks.”

20 “Why didn't you tell me? I had no idea things were getting that serious.” “Yeah, it's very embarrassing having feelings.”

21 “So are you bringing someone to the wedding?” “No, I'm taking a break from dating for a while.” “What?” “I'm sick of asking people how many siblings they have. Oh, is it somewhere between zero and two? How fascinating.”

22 “I grew a goatee and it looks amazing, and I know you can see it.” “Of course we can see it, NAME. It's horrible.”

23 “It feels like you're being a little harsh.” “Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh. I'll turn it up.”

24 “Are your senses heightened?” “I think I might be pregnant, not bitten by a radioactive spider.”

25 “You're what sneezes are!”

26 “Seriously, you guys should stand up once in a while. You know, for your hearts.”

27 “NAME, this is dumb. I'm just gonna go.” “No, no, no. You promised me more time. I still have seven minutes.” “I really don't want to miss my flight, and I cannot physically stand the way that room smells anymore.” “Just breathe through your mouth.”

28 “You know, some people say, ‘Mo money, mo problems,’ but those people are idiots. Money's amazing.”

29 “Dude, just admit you ruined everything and turned our lives into a living hell. No biggie.”

30 “We don't want anyone getting alcohol poisoning, so if you throw up, you're disqualified.” “I never throw up. I just tell my stomach to deal with it. My body is terrified of me.”

Jake

31 “I also have a hairline fracture in my thumb. Mankind's least important finger, am I right?”

32 “I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.”

33 “How much could I possibly owe you? Fifty, sixty bucks?” “Two thousand, four hundred and thirty seven dollars.” “Dollars?! Wait, of course dollars. Why was that the part I was surprised by?”

34 “So, I'm going to grab a healthy breakfast.” “Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?” “Breakfast burrito, but yeah.” “I pity your dentist.” “Joke's on you. I don't have a dentist.”

35 “I'm talking to my credit card company. I tried to get an online subscription to the New Yorker and they declined me. Apparently, based on my previous purchases, they assumed it was fraud. That's crazy. I'm fancy. One time I had coffee-flavored ice cream.”

36 “Rules are made to be broken.” “They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.” “Uh, piñatas.” “Glow sticks.” “Karate boards.” “Spaghetti when you have a small pot.” “Rules.”

37 “Hey, can I ask you something?” “Mm-hmm.” “If the toilets drain into the ocean, does that mean a tiny shark could swim up and bite me in the butt?” “No, not at all.” “Psh, lame.”

38 “NAME, super important question. Which one of these shirts should I wear to dinner with your dad/mom tonight?” “Those are exactly the same.” “I have a signature look, NAME.”

39 “Hello, good sir, I'd like your finest bottle of wine, please.” “That will be $1,600.” “Great, I'd like your $8-est bottle of wine, please.”

40 “I am straight-up depressed. NAME’s been doing her best to cheer me up. He/She gave me this sticker this morning just for waking up.” “Ew, it's like you're dating your teacher.” “I know, it's so hot.”

41 “Wait. Before you say anything, I want to guess what happened based on your face. Someone died. No! You won a prize. I'm not getting better at this.”

42 “What is the bandwidth on the wifi here? We have much content to stream.”

43 “Oh, you sweaty, chair-spinning morons. You're gonna get us out of here.”

44 “Sir, I think I speak for all of us when —“ “He/She doesn't.” “He/She doesn't.”

45 “So, your brother/sister's a bit of a nightmare.” “I wouldn't say that. I mean, at most, he’s/she's a daymare.” “Those are so much scarier.” “Yeah.”

46 “Look, NAME, I burnt two hundred calories.” “That's your heart rate.” “Yeah, that checks out.”

47 “I don't slump, people. I opposite of slump. I pmuls. That's slump backwards and it's what I do. I pmuls all over this bitch.”

48 “Excuse me. We were just looking for a place to —“ “Boink.” “Yes, boink. That's my preferred term for it, too.”

49 “Thank you for doing this. I love you.” “Noice. Smort. I love you too.”

50 “Adult parties? I believe they're called orgies.”

51 “I have a sexy voice!

Champagne.

Mountain range.

Hugs.”

52 “Has anyone ever told you you look just like a statue?” “Yes.”

53 “NAME, you're smiling. It's very weird. Like seeing a turtle out of its shell.”

54 “You look happy. Let me guess. Your egg sandwich fell on the floor, and they gave it to you for free.” “No. Can you do that? Why doesn't everyone just drop their sandwiches on the floor?” “I was trying to insult you.” “And instead you gave me an amazing life hack!”

55 “So, we gonna talk about what happened back there? I haven't seen someone cry that much since NAME heard they were remaking ‘First Wives Club.’”

56 “Hey, there, NAME. Everything okay?” “No, I'm having a meltdown.” “Props. That was amazing.” “Thanks. It was a lot of work.”

57 “Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time. But then I'm like ‘boobs, farts, boobs, whatever’.”

58 “Ahh, babe, this is so nice. There are hot stones on our butts for no reason.” “Not on mine. My butt stones keep falling off, because I'm so tense about NAME being here and ruining everything.”

59 “Okay, don't shoot! That's how people get shot.”

60 “Rule number 3: Let's not have sex right away.” “Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt. Good rule. No sex. Good rule.”

Charles

61 “Okay, but I thought since you were in charge, maybe I could be your right hand man? Your Tinker Bell?” “Tinker Bell?” “Let me tell you something about Tinker Bell. Tinker Bell is a loyal lieutenant and a real thorn in the side of Captain Hook.”

62 “NAME, why don't you show Danger what a fax machine is.” “Okay. Imagine a letter had unprotected sex with a phone.”

63 “Hey, NAME, are you ready to go streaking?” “What?” “That's what my dad/mom and I called getting blonde streaks in your hair. We used to do it to our ponytails on road trips. You just take a little lemon up top, and let the sun do the rest. We called it giving each other road head.” “You just said you called it going streaking.” “It had a couple names.”

64 “So we have good news, and we have bad news.” “My Nana always said, ‘Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie.’ Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.”

65 “What about me? What if something happens to NAME, and he never gets to meet my baby? I don't want to hang out with some stupid baby who's never met NAME.”

66 “Oh, you're right. I'm gonna tell him/her. It might not be today. It might not be tomorrow. It definitely won't be later than tomorrow. So pretty much today or tomorrow then.”

67 “No! I was eavesdropping. I'm always eavesdropping.” “I don't like it.” “Look, I didn't spend the last seven years watching your love ripen, only to have it sullied by a city hall wedding. You're getting married right here, right now.”

68 “I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like him/her a little bit.” “You doodled your wedding invitation.” “No, that's our joint tombstone.” “My mistake.”

69 “How many times have I smacked you in your face?” “Lost count.” “And you still have no fear of me.” “I'm trying to read your womb vibe.” “Exactly. Knock it off.”

70 “Okay, first of all, NAME, you look amazing. Secondly, I made an appointment at the salon with Nikki, for you, under the name Gabriella Fuentes de San Miguel Estrada. I had fun with the name.” “Clearly.”

71 “He’s/She's got a type, which is really any one but you.” “Yeah, that was my ex-husband/ex-wife's type, too.”

72 “Sexy train is leaving the station. Check out this caboose. Later, sluts.”

73 “I can't wait to see you, my luscious little breakfast quiche. I just want to draw you a bubble bath and spoon-feed you caviar. I think we should open up a joint checking account. I love you. [pause] What am I doing?” “It's okay. I hung up right after ‘Chucklebunny’.” “Help me. I've gone Full NAME.”

74 “Do you desire a crispen potato?” “Oh, don't mind if I do-ble. Wait a minute. Crispen potato. Why are you fancy talking.” “How dare you, sir/madam. I speak the common tongue.” “There it is again. You only do that when you're lying or hiding something.” “Hiding? Ha. Pish-posh.”

75 “Hey, donut holes. Don't mind if I do. Eurgh! Fish? Fish donuts, NAME? What is wrong with you?” “It's takoyaki. I'm drowning my sorrows in octopus balls.”

76 “Put on a T-shirt for all I care. It doesn't matter what you wear.” “Of course it matters. He has to wear the smaller checks. Big checks wash him out. Where are you, NAME?”

77 “Ooh, if they have your phone, we can track where they're going. I have ‘Find My Phone’ set up to track you. What? I do that for all my friends, not just you.” “Show me.” “There's no time!”

78 “You okay?” “Yeah, no burns. The doctor said I was lucky my body was so damp.”

79 “You guys have been down here for two hours. What, did you have sex forty times?”

80 “What? You don't need closet space. You have, like, one outfit.”

81 “You just graduated pie school, bitches. [pause] Sorry I said bitches, I'm just really worked up.”

82 “So, I know you're NAME’s best friend, and —“ “Did he/she say that? Did you get that on tape?” “No.” “No, he/she didn't say that or no, you didn't get it on tape? Doesn't matter. Either way, you screwed up big time.”

83 “What you did is the culinary equivalent of unprotected sex.”

84 “That's right. Boom. Just kicked Santa in the testicles.”

85 “No, there's no one in my life. [wink] Sort of a sad thing to wink about, I realize now.”

86 “NAME! Were you dreaming about NAME again?” “Why did you wake me up?! I told you never to wake me up!”

87 “You used all the touching time, NAME. I get 100% of the goodbye touching time. 100%.”

88 “Do you wanna know why he/she went out with him/her and not you?” “Yeah.” “Because he/she actually asked him/her out.”

89 “NAME, will you taste this batter?” “Mm-hmm. Hmm. I think it's a little off.” “You know what's off? Your mouth! Why NAME lets your stupid tongue anywhere near him/her I'll never know. Nope, I forgot the sugar. That's on me.”

90 “There's no need for NAME to see me unleash the beast.”

Captain Holt

91 “Look at you. Always working. What happened to my fun big/little brother/sister?” “Fun? I was never fun. You take that back.”

92 “It's the most fun day of the year. Something you wouldn't understand because you're not programmed to feel joy.” “Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.”

93 “Sticks and stones, NAME.” “Describing your breakfast?”

94 “NAME, how are you feeling?” “Better today. I even managed to eat some plain toast this morning.” “Smart. Something bland.” “That's my favorite breakfast.”

95 “Joining us for lunch, Sir?” “Oh, no, I've already consumed the required calories for this day period.” “Yummy.”

96 “You all right, NAME? Tough weekend?” “I went to Barbados with my husband/wife. We wove hats out of palm fronds and swam with the stingrays. I've never been happier.”

97 “Maybe I should wing it. Love, it sustains you. It's like oatmeal.” “Okay. Okay. Not bad for winging it.” “I lied. Took me two hours to write that.”

98 “I do not have a problem. If I want to play Kwazy Cupcakes, I will play Kwazy Cupcakes. Kwazy is a difficult word to say in anger, but I think I've made my feelings clear.”

99 “This place is so romantic.” “Yeah, and so intimate.” “Don't worry. I'm not listening to you. I'm just thinking about how this sea bass is cold but not as cold and cruel as the hands of fate that have thrust my entire life into darkness.” “Ah, damn it. I just ordered the sea bass.”

100 “Yeah, and your new shirt is very aggressive and confusing. Is the pineapple the slut, or is it calling someone else a slut?” “Clearly the pineapple is the slut.” “Huh.”

101 “Oh, I've caused a problem. I think I am getting a text message. Bloop. Ah, there it is.”

102 “So nice of you to greet us, NAME. I thought surely you'd still be crushed under that house in Munchkinland.”

103 “So, do you NAME --“ “Yes.” “And do you --“ “Yes. Yes. We do. We're married.”

104 “I mean, don't people call you NAME?” “How dare you.”

105 “So you lied to me? Out of pity. You pity me.” “I wouldn't put it that way.” “I would. I am offended. I am angry. I am very tired. So I'm gonna take a nap, but when I wake up, oh, you are in for it.”

106 “Look at that. You've helped me find my smile.”

107 “Huh. Meat from the street. Sounds like a fun treat. Hah. I'm a poet and ... I didn't even know I was rhyming those words. But it happened anyway.”

108 “Oh, look at that. An alert. I'm probably trending already. What? My account has been deactivated?” “Twitter thinks you're a bot.” “Why? I am a human. I am a human male/female.”

109 “Care to sit? I'm sure you'd like to take some weight off your cloven hooves.” “Call me the devil, NAME? How original.” “Actually, I was calling you a goat. You goat.”

110 “NAME! I'm coming with you.” “Thank you, NAME.” “I'm also coming.” “Not necessary.”

111 “Spot checks are done. Needless to say I'm thoroughly underwhelmed.” “Huh. From your expression, I would have guessed constipated. Or chilly.”

112 “NAME, you have a pretty low bar for what you consider drama. Once, I used an exclamation point in a email. You called me Diana Ross.” “I assure you, in this case, I do not exaggerate.”

113 “I know they say it's not good to have a TV in the bedroom. Which is why I don't.”

114 “NAME, did you just laugh?” “Uproariously.”

115 “You know when you play along with the robot jokes, it kinda ruins my enjoyment of them?” “Yes, I know.”

116 “And what do you hope to get out of this, NAME? Let me guess revenge on Dorothy for killing your sister?”

117 “It was a good game though for a dumbass.” Okay, you're kinda overusing that one. Maybe switch it up a little bit.” “Oh, good note. You dick.” “That landed good.”

118 “Dancing over. Situation defused.” “No!”

119 “All right, NAME, I'm sick of you wasting time. So, yes, I spilled some minestrone on my pants and I'm sitting in my underwear. Happy?”

120 “You found me. Drinking seltzer in the shadows.”

Gina

121 “It's a sloppy Jessica. Mac n cheese, chili, pizza on a bun. Its everything I've wanted to eat for the last 48 hours.” “What happened? I thought you were gonna 'last forever bitches.'” “Turns out I gave up easy. You hear that bitches? I gave up so easy.”

122 “If NAME had a twin, he/she would have eaten him/her in the womb.”

123 “Wait a minute, I think I just figured something out. I got to go.” “Aren't you forgetting something?” [person a gives Person b a kiss on the forehead] “Uh no, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?”

124 “The English language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts. So I'm incorporating Emoji into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.”

125 “All right, gang. Diet day 4. How's everyone holding up?” “Honestly, I'm going to last forever. You hear that bitches? I'm gonna last forever.”

126 “If I die, turn my tweets into a book!”

127 “The only reason I didn't tell you is I don't value you as people, so why be honest?”

128 “Breakups are a cartoony thumbs down. They make people feel face-with-Xs-for-the-eyes.”

129 “I'm sorry. I just don't think this is something you're good at.” “What? The only thing I'm not good at is modesty, because I'm great at it.”

130 “Click. I just captured the exact moment you realized you had failed. I guess we all got something out of this.”

131 “It's so addictive, right? I play so much that when I close my eyes at night, I just see cupcakes instead of my normal dizzying array of flashing lights.”

132 “Forget your ex with meaningless sex. It rhymes because it's true.”

133 “NAME. NAME. NAME, I screwed up, big time.” “NAME, given your daily life experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.”

134 “So, talk to me, goose. How are we looking?” “Sexy, but not like we're trying too hard. Like, sure, we're trying, but it's almost effortless.”

135 “Give me the ring.” “You sound like Gollum.” “That means nothing to me. I don't see those movies, I'm too pretty.”

136 “Oh no, six drink NAME isn't fun. He’s/She's just sad. Damn it!”

137 “I never have second thoughts. That's the luxury of having great first thoughts.”

138 “Ugh, constantly getting NAME’s approval is the worst.” “Yes. I can only imagine.”

139 “You think you can just bully people, but you can't. It's not okay. I'm the bully around here. Ask anyone.”

140 “This just might work out after all.” “You're damn right it will, 'cause we're a ragtag, scrappity, fart-dumb, moron parade, smart-ass team!”

141 “Okay, NAME, stop freaking out. I have the day off. I can step in and help.” “Yeah, me too. I'm not off, but I come and go as I please. It's part of my charm. I'm like an outdoor cat.”

142 “Gina, please keep an eye on NAME today. He's/She’s gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself/herself punched.” “Sure, I'd love to see NAME get punched.” “Try again.” “I will stop NAME from getting punched.” “Correct.”

143 “Oh, I want him/her out. But I'm too scared to tell him/her. “ “All right, listen. I know that your spirit animal is a caterpillar that's been stepped on —“ “Mm-hmm.”

144 “What are you creeps doing? You made me look away from my phone. You better pray I didn't miss a text.” “In the two seconds you looked away?” “Seventeen texts. All of them important.”

145 “What is my favorite soup?” “Chicken noodle.” “Potato leek.” “Corn frickin' noodle. I mean, chowder, damn it.” “You're all wrong. I've never had soup.” “Don't bother. They all suck.”

146 “Okay, so that plumber was useless. But we are two smart and capable people who can definitely figure out how to fix a toilet.” “Of course we can. The internet will tell us what to do. She always does.”

147 “It's crazy how much he/she flirts with me.”

148 “Good morning.” “For whom?” “For you-m.”

149 “So he/she didn't say what happened, which can only mean one thing.” “He's/She’s in a fight club.”

150 “What's up? How can I help?” “Well, when I was a kid, I invented a magnetic flashlight clip so I could read under the covers. This clip and I went all around the world together the Shire, Sweet Valley High, Terabithia.” “But never to a friend's house, huh?” “Uncalled for.”

Amy

151 “That stuff with us is in the past. We talked about that.” “I know, but that was before you saw me in this dope ass tux. I mean you must be freaking out.” “Oh, I really am. I'm really into rented clothes. I love how many butts have been in them.”

152 “You know, we're birds of a feather, you and I.” “I hate cliches.” “Cliches are the worst.”

153 “And now I don't know what to do.” “I think you do know what to do.” “Thanks, NAME.” [leaves the room] “I have no idea what he’s/she's gonna do but that's the safest way to give NAME advice.” “Yep.”

154 “Insult me all you want, for I have only this to say —“ “Victory shall be mine!” “I heard you practicing in the shower. You can't surprise me. Letting me into your life was the worst mistake you ever made.” “Cool, fun take on our relationship.”

155 “NAME, where you at?” “Four drinks.” “What's four-drink NAME again?” “Why don't you come over here and find out?” “Right, Horny NAME”

156 “I'm sorry. We only excluded you because you're kind of an over-texter.” “Over-texter? That's not even a thing.” “Oh really? So you don't remember the time you sent 97 unanswered texts in a five-minute span?” “My phone vibrated itself off the desk. I think it was committing suicide.”

157 “What the hell? I used NAME's exact recipe. I know I'm not a great cook, but I love following instructions.”

158 “What's going on? Is this a dream? No, I'm not holding a label maker.”

159 “My power went out last night and my alarm didn't go off.” “Your alarm is power dependent? You brought this on yourself, son.”

160 “I'd also like to apologize for my friend. His /Her parents didn't give him/her enough attention.”

161 “I'm in! A bet which improves someone's manners? Double score.”

162 “He’s/She's scared.” “He’s/She's not scared. With all due respect, NAME, NAME has no feelings.”

163 “I'm so cold even my fiery dance moves aren't keeping me warm.”

164 “I'm sorry. I tried to be myself and they hated it.”

165 “All right, someone's gotta go out there and kill that feathery bastard. NAME, you're always looking for an excuse to behead something.”

Sergeant Jeffords

166 “It was like taking candy from a baby.” “Why are you giving candy to a baby in the first place? Don't give candy to a baby! They can't brush their teeth!”

167 “I was raised on disco. Little NAME loved to hustle.”

168 “Or is your favorite artist really Taylor Swift?” [Scoffs] “No.” “Lie.” “All right, fine, she is. She makes me feel things.” “She makes all of us feel things!”

169 “Urgh, what's in these?” “Potatoes, butter, a little milk. Oh, and I ran out of salt, so I used baking soda.” “Why wouldn't you? They're both white powders. Of course they're interchangeable.” “Yeah.”

170 “I warned you against using donuts. They're my trigger food.”

171 “Hey, NAME, you know how you're really good at doodling?” “I know you think you're complimenting me, but calling them doodles is an insult. You a big fan of Picasso's doodles?”

172 “Your tone's braggy but your words are real sad.”

173 “See, NAME? Tough love works.” “Damn it! NAME proved the wrong point.”

174 “Now, be respectful and grieve your asses off.” “I don't know why this is happening.” “NAME, I love it. Everyone follow his/her lead!”

175 “Everything's spoiled. My lunch is ruined. My chicken, my potatoes, pasta, my meatballs, ham, my yogurt.” “Wow, that's a lot of yogurt.” “I love yogurt.”

176 “Kind of seemed like you were gonna get up and leave after saying all that.” “I was, but I think I hear NAME.”

177 “You better look cute in this picture, or no one's gonna want you. Do something with your damn paws!”

178 “My tolerance has really changed since I had kids!”

179 “I'm hungry!” “Oh, you're in luck; the fanny pack is filled with granola.” “Mmm! Loose granola.” “I don't want fanny granola! I want steaks and whiskey!”

180 “You probably can't tell, but I'm flexing my brain like crazy right now.”

181 “What's that smell? That's lavender. NAME loves lavender.”

182 “Okay. Excuse me. Can we please eat? My body is starting to digest itself. NAME needs nutrients!”

183 “Don't look at me. NAME wastes all that time building muscles, make him do it.” “Oh, come on, you all know these are just for show.”

184 “Sorry? You bumbling son of a bitch. You just ruined my life. I hope you get hit by a truck and a dog takes a dump on your face.” “Nothing to see here. Just a little hypoglycaemic rage. Move along.”

185 “I feel like a proud mama hen whose baby chicks have learned to fly!���

Hitchcock

186 “NAME, why do you have your shirt off?” “Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one.”

187 “What bet? What are you guys talking about?” “Seriously? The bet? They've been keeping score all year. It comes up all the time. What are you doing all day?!” “Nothing. Why, you want to hang out?”

188 “So you just want us to lie on the ground and do nothing like a bunch of losers?” “Yes, precisely.” “No!” “Jackpot!”

189 “I don't like it. Something stinks.” “Well, I'm sorry, but I refuse to mask my natural musk with a bunch of chemicals.”

190 “My God. NAME, are you the only person still making sense?” “Yeah. It's bad.”

191 “All right, food is ready, decorations are set, guests should start arriving any moment, and the chairs are still perfection.” “He/She said they're perfection. I'm so proud of you, buddy.” “It was you. You made this happen.”

192 “Who do you think it's gonna be?” “I've no idea.” “I bet it's me. I just hope I'm ready.”

193 “Okay, look, this was maybe a weird way to start the night, but the good news is, we can still make our dinner reservation and no one got hurt.” “Actually, I cut myself real bad.” “Of course you did.”

Scully

194 “Oh, so your plan is to not take this seriously at all?” “Oh, I am as serious as a heart attack. No offense, NAME.” “Nah. Mine are never that serious. I call 'em ‘oopsies’.”

195 “I miss my home chair.” “You miss a chair?”

196 “Are those thumbtacks? What the hell, NAME?” “I thought they'd make good confetti.” “Why?”

197 “All right, anyone else have questions? NAME, NAME, you've been weirdly silent.” “We didn't want to say anything that would get us uninvited.”

198 “Okay, first of all, I want to say that this was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. There is so much talent in this room.” “Just tell us, bitch. Act as if you already have the role.”

199 “I'll be back. Don't move.” “Not a problem. I hate moving.”

200 “Where should we begin? Do you have any experience with puzzles?” “Yes. I've never solved one.”

[tegoshigeftw]

Tegoshige Top 25

“More Tegoshige, please!” - said absolutely noone and I delivered. Well, this isn’t for 5 likes, this is for me. I’ve had this blog for 6,5 years now and I decided to look back on the best it had to offer. This is my rating of top Tegoshige moments, excluding those that tightly involved other members (so the making out had to be left out ;;). The things that made my heart doki doki... It was originally a top 10 but it was getting hard to pick so I decided there literally was no reason to hold back so here we are.

#25 4x9

That one time Tegoshige went on location together (which is already a blessing) and Tegoshi got freaked out because of insects running about and nearly got into Shige’s lap. Nearly. So it heads the list.

# 24 Halloween 2017

Tegoshi was Oiran - an elite courtesan - and Shige was Alex from Clockwork Orange. This was but a short moment but is lasted forever in my mind.

#23 Dropped earring

This was during White final. After the boisterous MC scene where Shige was the couch and Tegoshi was the girlfriend, Shige noticed Tegoshi dropped his earring, picked it up and gave it back to him. Just a minor moment, but Tegoshi was still in girlfriend mode and it was incredibly soft. Video here.

#22 Neverland in Tokyo encore 2017/06/11

Tegoshi got very emotional after he went backstage but the fans kept cheering so they went back on stage again and Tegoshi wouldn’t stop crying so Shige led him softly.

#21 As long as Tegoshi is happy...

Before a live performance, they were interviewed and as it was just after Tegoshi’s birthday, they were asked what they wanted to give so...

S: … (in his best ikemen voice) As long as Tegoshi is happy, that is enough! T: Ahhh! ♥ I am loved! Thank you, Shige-chan! I wanna hug you!~

Video here.

#20 The Spa

It was a photoshoot for Biteki. They were originally in different sandboxes but Tegoshi got lonely very soon.

#19 Hairstylist Shige

Shige has been Tegoshi’s stylist for years, since the early days. You can see it in photos and several DVDs, most notably Live Diamond. Video cut here.

#18 “Shige, thank you!”

The night after the Neverland Tokyo concert, 2017 Shige got a call...

S: After the concert ended, Tegoshi had a party with his friends. And so late at night he suddenly called me saying “Could you come for a bit?” S: He seemed to be serious and he cried so much at the concert. (laugh) I got worried and came over but this guy… he just fell asleep! (laugh) K&M: That’s terrible. S: He woke up once, looked at me saying “Shige, thank you!” and went back to sleep. T: Moreover, I was sleeping in Shige’s lap. [S]

Tegoshi: After the last concert in Tokyo Dome I invited several members of staff and Juniors and we basically did a wrapping up party. I called Shige at 3 AM and he came but I ended up falling asleep in Shige’s lap though I don’t remember that at all. I heard it afterwards but apparently I sang “I’m coming” and Shige sang “Ayame” but I don’t remember a bit… [S]

#17 Neverland in Tokyo 2017/06/10

According to a fan report: At the intro of some song, Shige grabbed Tegoshi by the waist tightly. At first, Tegoshi was playing along but Shige didn’t let go and Tegoshi, not used to being attacked, got embarrassed.

#16 Umeboshi

Shige’s been making umeboshi for years now and his #1 fan is none other than Tegoshi.

S: I’ve been doing it for 10 years. It’s not that I like them, I hardly eat them myself. During the tour our Tegoshi eats quite a lot of them. I leave it (in the dressing room) so after the concert he opens it and eats it. About half of them I make for Tegoshi. [2017.02.08 Moshimono Futari]

Q: If you were to give Christmas presents to the members what would it be?

A: …Well, umeboshi! Umeboshi! Eat my umeboshi and get healthy! I give it to Tegoshi every year though. Ah, but that’s showing “Love”. I give it all the time but it’s a deep love that has a special depth! (laugh) [2018.12.05 TVガイド]

#15 Blue making

This is perfect for several reasons, how naturally this fells, how there’s a perfectly empty chair next to them, and how at the end Tegoshi stumbled and Shige is cautioning him.

#14 That 2013 photoshoot

You know the one. That is all. No comment needed.

#13 Tegoshige Kabe-don and confession

During k-chan news, they played the Prince game and Koyama wanted a kabe-don. So Tegoshi kabe-don’d Shige and told him “I love you!”

The audio available here.

#12 Tegoshi’s kirakira eyes

Back in 2009, Shige had a diary and I’m really sorry he does not anymore because one day after a photoshoot he wrote this:

At that time he had seemed to be already smiling and looking at me Looking at me at such a close distance Is this an effect from DREAM BOYS As compared to before, the distance was so much more closer Tegoshi Yuya Indeed is a prince………….. Oh please won’t you be even a little embarrassed. Just how strong is your heart? Don’t look at me like that………… Being looked at with those shiny eyes…………… The atmosphere will become weird (oдO) ………………………………….. Tegoshi Yuya who has ended the photoshoot using those shiny eyes, had walked towards DREAM BOYS with that pair of eyes Ah~ shiny shiny Tegoshi eyes~ I’ll be waiting for that photoshoot~ I wonder… for which magazine would it be Oh the kira kira eyes

Full text here.

#11 That Taiwan hotel video 

We all remember that one. Tegoshi in his bathrobe going out to visit ‘other members’’ rooms but he only goes to Shige’s and gets comfortable on his bed, and gets pounced, and the next thing they show, it’s morning.

#10 Soukon thigh stroking

That time the camerman got very fascinated with Tegoshi’s legs and the other members teased him about it and called him a pervert. Then, Shige decided to stroke those thighs because... well, he can. 

#9 Taking a bath together!

- An unforgettable episode that happened on stage.

Kato: Because of a thunderstorm we had to stop the concert. We moved it to a later date. After a break the 4 of us got into tiny bathtubs, 2 in each and it felt sort of like a field trip, (laugh) the bath was warm. [Duet 2015.04]

They also talked about it during an MC at the time.

Shige pretended to climb into the “tub” with Tegoshi. “We were Team… What was it again?” T: Team “We haven’t done our solos yet”. S: And Tegoshi was sliding all over the place and smacking into me. He was such a naughty guy. T: It couldn’t be helped. It’s slippery. K: But baths are nice, aren’t they? Shige answered in a chill voice, “Yeah, they’re great.” [S]

#8 Worldista routine

I think this was during Weeek where they make up different letters with their bodies. Every concert it went differently but several times Tegoshi left his place and went over to Shige. This fancam pictured the time he got on top of him. Or tried to.

Also here’s a report from Nagano, May 25:

Tegoshi goes to Shige and captures him in a hug and Shige hugs him back. Then Shige picks Tegoshi up and carries him like a sleeping child to his original position. [Fanart here]

#7 Showers

Tegoshi is long known to invade other people’s privacy and during the tour, other people’s shower stalls are no exception. There are many recent episodes but here’s one account:

Q2: Shige-chan said in Nagoya when he took a shower Tegoshi appeared right before his eyes but does he do it always?

S: Not… always but he did it quite a lot on this tour. He trespassed about 3-4 times I think. He would enter the shower room I went to really quietly. That’s why I got really startled. He’d get happy he made me surprised and start grinning. (laugh) I would counterattack by pouring water over him.  

[Tour Stories from Popolo 2016.09 FUN’S QUESTION - SHIGEAKI]

Then, there’s an important MC from 2008. One time, during the tour Massu wanted to take a shower but as he entered the stalls, he met a naked Shige standing proudly. Shige explained he was only waiting on Tegoshi who earlier danced for him naked. Massu was like “Cool, I’ll leave you to it.”

The full account is here. There used to be an audio of this but I didn’t manage to get it.

#6 DTF ‘ago-kui’

There were many instances during two whole tours and also a SCP performance. Each time seems a little closer and more intimate, but each time looks equally fun on both sides.

#5 Accessible Emma outfit

Now we know that Shige, unlike Tegoshi, is not a touchy kind of guy. So him doing something like this, especially on air, is pretty unusual. Tegoshi said Shige did it a lot backstage too.

#4 “I wanna stir you up”

This line from ‘S’ was a real hit and Tegoshi basically admitted it got him horny. Twice. Detailed posts here and here.

#3 Tegoshi saying they’re basically married

Here’s the video.

#2 Tegoshi knows what’s up

Who do you think has the most sex appeal?

Tegoshi: Shige. His face is handsome like a nobility but he’s also manly. Rather than a shining sexuality his sexuality is monochrome… a deep sexuality. It’s the kind that slowly unravels as you get to know him.  [Wink Up, 2013.12]

Who would be a perfect boyfriend in NEWS?

Tegoshi: Wouldn’t that be Shige? It seems like he wouldn’t be clingy but all the while even when he’s silent, in his heart he’d be like “I’m thinking about you properly ♥” keeping a good distance. [Ane Can 2015]

Look with a “female gaze” and say who’s the most handsome member Tegoshi: Alright, I’m switching to female… click! …Hello, I’m Yuko! (laugh) So… for me it’s Shige. The reason is his face and his way of life. His face is up to my taste (laugh) and he doesn’t hesitate in words or in actions. His open-minded way of thinking is similar to mine. It’s refreshing and feels good. [Potato 2016.10]

To name but a few.

#1 Shige radio confession

During k-chan news, they played the Prince game and Koyama wanted one person to say what they liked about the other person and this is how Shige confessed.

K: Do it properly! Seriously. Connect hands “lover style”, look at each other. *giggle* S: Tegoshi has a really cute face. Really cute face and a good voice… K: That’s not it. S: A nice voice and beautiful eyes… K: Something you really like, really like.  S: But I really do like it. K: Something more about his personality. S: If it’s about his personality then… even when he complains he still does his job properly.

Sorry, but that’s just... yeah. You have to hear it though. Full transcript and audio here.