#also I'm begging people to go about disability accommodations the right way

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

Call me cynical, but please remember that your employer is not your friend.

You may have friends at work, but your employer, the entity, is not your friend. Your relationship is, at best, transactional; at worst, it's predatory and exploitive. Your job serves profit and will always prioritize that over everything else.

No job should be treated as the exception to this. That's not to say that no job will ever treat you well; it is only to say that, if you're convinced that Your Job Is Different, you're already in a position to be exploited.

Stay wary. Know your rights as a worker. Keep your mouth shut about most things. Be grateful for a job that doesn't exploit you but never get too comfortable, no matter how many employee resource groups, mental health days, catered lunches or anything else they provide. Your employer is not your friend.

[mineonmain]

as @lurkingshan said earlier today, "Get bent, Maya"

I haven't been this pressed about a fictional character (antagonist???? she is one to me now!!) in a hot minute. Before I get into her in this ep, I wanna preface by saying that I do have the actual manga, but I wanted to finish watching the show before I went and read the manga for comparison, so that i'm going into this with basically an open mind. So I have no idea how this compares to the manga version of her.

Also if it wasn't clear, Spoilers for I Hear The Sunspot ep 7. Okay.

So it's the start of a new academic year, and we're introduced to freshman Maya, who is a Science major, is also Deaf/Hard of Hearing, and is Kohei's new tutee in the university as a result of having a mutual friend. That is the extent of what we know about her. Other than Kohei being her tutor and maybe a pseudo mentor/companion who can understand and appreciate her disability, they have absolutely no connection. They are not childhood friends or family.

Which begs the question, why on gods green earth is she so invested in what Kohei does or doesn't do, and who he is or isn't with???

Lady, he doesn't know you. He doesn't owe you anything, because you objectively mean nothing to him. So you've grown up with a really severe and isolating disability, I get it. But that's not a good enough reason to become so bitter that you decide to become judge jury executioner on every (visibly) abled person's morals. (Which is so incredibly telling, judging people on how visibly disabled they look or act, when you have a disability that is fairly invisible, unless you can see hearing aids or a cochlear implant or something like that. Interesting how that works, huh.) (Having a disability doesn't give you a free pass to be an asshole.)

Maybe, just maybe, you're allowed to act like that based on how people act towards you. But what gives you the right to walk up to the friend of a friend (??) that you absolutely know nothing about, and mete out judgement? To decide how that person is allowed to interact with someone else, a someone else that you have no claim or authority over?

Oh, but god forbid that Kohei have a friend who doesn't treat him like a social leper, who doesn't have every interaction of theirs revolve around Kohei's deafness, who for once makes him feel included and normal.

Kohei is a grown ass man, who can make his own decisions, including his own mistakes. Who are you to suddenly come into his life and make decisions for him without his involvement, consent, or approval? And who says that any person who is friends with someone with a disability has to be physically and morally perfect?

How dare you?

If I were to sum up my biggest issues with Maya, it is in the way she talks. It's entirely indicative and reflective of how she views and interacts with society. One of the first things that Kohei tells Taichi is that he is able to understand what someone else is saying if they speak slowly, partially by listening and partially by lip reading. it's a small accommodation that we even see Taichi's friends making for Kohei. That means that when anyone talks they should talk clearly, and slowly, and try to enunciate their words properly. If we look at the way Maya talks, she barely opens her mouth at all. If I didn't know any better i'd have thought it was ADR. Given she is someone who has lived with the same sort of disability that Kohei has, she would require similar accessibility needs. And yet, while she expects the world around her to accommodate her needs, she doesn't accommodate for the world. She expects people to speak in a way that she can understand, but she won't do the same.

I'm assuming that the narrative point of Maya criticising Taichi right now is so that we get to see him go on a growth journey, where he'll become more passionate and dedicated about learning note-taking and even maybe signing (and advocating for the deaf community as an ally), and not just be a passive friend who seemingly 'takes advantage' of Kohei, and in the process become the person that Kohei truly needs, and not the person Taichi thinks is good enough.

But here's the thing. I don't care if Taichi has any growth or not. I don't care if he changes or doesn't change to maintain his friendship and relationship with Kohei. I don't care if he tries to become someone that Maya (and Kohei) can approve of.

Because Kohei already likes him the way he is.

And it's none of Maya's goddamn business. Get bent

[thoughtfulfoxllama]

So, appearantly I can't be screened for Autism because I'm an adult, and only kids can recieve a diagnosis. At least that's what my psychiatrist told me

Like, why? Autism isn't a Childhood Disability, it's lifelong. So, am I supposed to go without the accommodations I need because no one cared enough to get me tested as a kid

Actually, I'm curious about that. I had an IEP from Elementry onward, for "Emotional Disturbance," but not once did anyone ask me what was wrong. People who knew me when I was young are either ableist ("you don't look autistic," from my Bio mom), or say I should've been tested, because it's obvious (one sister in my ward asked my grandmother, and she said I was, but my Bio mom says I never was, and I think she would've known, because that's when she was still around). So, that begs the question, why did none of my teachers say anything. I've had bad teachers (my Sped Teacher in Middle School straight up told us that "students didn't deserve rights," and that she'd send us to the principal for not saying the Pledge of Allegiance), but I had legit awesome teachers who cared for me so much, and did everything to help me (even going beyond what the IEP said & just asking me what I needed). Were they just powerless, or did they assume I was diagnosed, or did they just never notice

Actually, that's one of the reason I loved the Church. I'm weird about it now (I can explain later, but let's simmer it down to Sensory & Social Issues). Sure, no one said "hey, maybe you should get tested" (except the RS President who's son would later adopt me, and my Best Friend's Mom), but I was noticed & accepted (which is all I really wanted). My friends were almost all Neurodivergent, and I just had a place where I belonged. Ironically, everyone says the Church pushes you into a box, but it helped me come to terms with myself. I am Autistic, I am Bisexual, I enjoy myths, have tarot cards & runestones, I am untraditional in basically every way, but the Church gave me the courage to say "I'm following my own path," taught me how to listen to the Spirit which says "I will guide you safely & comfort you when people don't understand," the ability to see myself as a God in Embryo & realize I am valid, as an Autistic Bisexual Mormon Witch who has questioned my Gender Identity on a number of occasions (it's weird, but I don't really feel any gender (what's gender even feel like anyway). I use he/him because it's easier, as I am a Bio male, but I don't care, and think I look slay in either genders clothes (although, I do prefer Androgynous Style, but T-Shirt & Jeans works as well))

I'm actually reminded of Elementry School. I did awesome in classes, straight As until 4rd grade. But my 4th Grade Teacher noticed something odd. When I was away from the board, I would play with my eyes. I was Nearsighted, and for 4 years, no one noticed (for a number of reasons, including because I did the eye thing, asked questions, read the book, and always sat at the front of class). Now, that teacher was Awesome (she even inspired me to get my first pet, a Guinea Pig named "Fluffy"), and she saw a problem no one else did. I am going into education, and I wanna be that teacher. I want to be the teacher who not only cares, but notices things other people don't. I want to do everything in my power to make sure no one goes without what they need: be it new glasses, a diagnosis, or just a few minutes alone with an apple (because school's hard, and sometimes you just need quiet time & a snack)

TL;DR- I can't get screened on my insurance, someone should've noticed when I was a kid, my 4th Grade Teacher & Mormonism both rock & helped me realize my validity (so has my awesome wife, but I didn't mention her in there, even though I met her at church, and she's most likely also ND), and I wanna be better when I'm a teacher so no one goes without

[nightcrawlerzincorporated]

You’re very right! If they wanted to write better satire, they could’ve commented on disability not being always seen. I still feel a sense of embarrassment requesting accommodations I'm entitled to with my medical documentation bc some profs still kick up a fuss if I request even smtg basic as extra time, like I’m cheating somehow. One literally said no, toughen up because "the world doesn’t always give handouts". Fuck him. (Sorry for oversharing; just agreeing that more nuance was needed.)

No no, you're fine! I don't mind people talking about themselves. I'm autistic so I can never tell what is or isn't oversharing anyway lol.

Yeah ablest professors are shit. I remember telling one prof about how he couldn't count spelling or grammar mistakes against my grade because I'm dyslexic and he said "being dyslexic doesn't mean you can't learn to spell like the rest of us!" Like bruh it literally does.

My wife got told by the language director of our college that she shouldn't even bother trying to learn another language because "it's impossible for disabled people". She ended up getting all 4s/As and the language director apologized, but she shouldn't have had to get perfect grades to prove disabled people can do things like speak other languages! She already knew two languages going in too so it's like. Ugh.

It sucks out here man (gender neutral). Sorry you're going through that. Fuck that prof seriously. I also always feel awkward asking for accommodations but we shouldn't have to feel that way! It's on them to not be shitty. We shouldn't have to beg people not to be shitty to us. Sorry for the rant I just relate very much

[echodrops]

Hi! I'm kinda freaking out over how I'm going to manage everything when I start college. I'm kinda on the fence about whether or not I should inform my professors right off the bat about my mental health issues/ if that would even be helpful? I struggle a lot with depression and anxiety so my grades kinda weren't the best, I got lucky that I test really well so my SAT scores were high. I hope I'm not over stepping anything, but sense you're a professor yourself I thought it wouldn't hurt to try.

Phew! First, take a big deep breath, because I totally agree that starting college can be super overwhelming, but I know you can do it and I’m cheering for you!

First I just want to say that, while I can give my own answer to this question, I can’t guarantee every professor you meet will view this situation the exact same way as I will--professors are people and run the gamut from super supportive and kind to, unfortunately(!!), very unkind towards students. I recommend waiting until after your first or second class with each professor before speaking with them about personal topics--give yourself a day or two to get a feel for them and how they might respond, and hopefully you’ll be able to quickly spot the ones who won’t be supportive and that’s when you change classes ASAP and I’m only partly kidding.

Now, on to the actual answer to this question:

Yes, I definitely think you should inform your professors about your concerns and how your mental health might affect your ability in each class; however, there are actually a couple steps I’d take first to both protect yourself and increase your chances of success at college.

1) Before speaking to your professors, get in contact with your college’s Disabilities, Accessibility, or Counseling Office. The name of this office will vary by college, but most will use one of those first two words in their name, or will be named Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS). Even if you contact the wrong office, they can always transfer you. Most colleges offer counseling to their students for free, which can be an incredibly helpful resource when you reach midterm exams and really get hit with that feeling of being in over your head! You want to have this office on speed dial for those days where you get out of class and just want to cry because the work is piling up. Those days happen to everyone, unfortunately, and knowing in advance where on campus you can go to get help is vital.

However, even more important than the direct counseling is the powerful tool in this office’s arsenal called “Accommodations.” By law, to protect students from unreasonable demands from professors, students with documented physical or mental health disabilities are eligible for special accommodations to make completing their classes more manageable. These accommodations vary by student, but they often include things like extra time to complete quizzes and exams, permission to deliver oral presentations in private instead of in front of a class, access to a private, quiet room to complete work, or a dedicated note-taker to assist you with note-taking in class.

When a student qualifies for accommodations, each one of the student’s professors receives a contract they have to sign, and the professors will be legally bound to honor the accommodations listed on the contract. You can probably see how it would be useful to have this contract in advance when you go to talk to a professor about your mental health concerns--that way, even if you encounter a professor who isn’t super supportive, they will be legally obligated to make the class easier for you to manage. Going through the disabilities office protects you and ensures you getting access to all the great resources your university has for people with mental health challenges!

2) Next, make sure you know about all the tutoring and homework support your university offers. Many schools have a wide range of services designed specifically to help students get through difficult classes; if you’re able to complete your school work easily and keep your grades up, college will be much less stressful and anxiety-inducing. Most colleges offer math, science, and writing labs where you can meet with dedicated peer tutors to review your work and go over hard concepts; many schools also have research librarians who can help you find sources for essays or reports, career services offices to help connect you with opportunities like internships or volunteering that will really build out your resume, private study rooms you can rent to get work done, technology like laptops and cameras you can rent for assignments, and even offices that arrange events specifically to help keep students feeling mentally fit--one office at my old campus used to bring puppies for students to play with during finals week!

Before speaking to your professors, take the time to familiarize yourself with the resources your school offers, and even though it might be scary at first, ease yourself into the idea of using these services. You will have an infinitely, INFINITELY easier time in college if you really take advantage of every single tool the school is offering you--student tuition goes to cover these services, so you should definitely use them. You can rid yourself of a lot of the anxiety related to homework and understanding class concepts by regularly visiting the free campus tutors.

3) Finally, speak to your professors--but come with questions already planned! Most--again, unfortunately I can’t speak for all professors, but--most professors will be more than willing to work with you and will be understanding of your mental health concerns if you alert them in advance. When students disappear for half the semester with no warning and then come back in the last week of class begging for make-up work because they were too depressed to come to class, that oftentimes comes across as making excuses, rather than being genuine. But if you let your professors know at the beginning of the semester that you’re new to college and concerned about your ability to succeed, your professors should be willing to accommodate your needs and help you throughout the semester.

The best way to secure a professor’s cooperation is to show that you’re dedicated to doing your best and that you want to fully understand their class expectations. In turn, the best way to show this dedication to ask some specific questions and try to formulate a plan with your professor.

After you explain your mental health concerns, some questions you might want to consider asking would be:

1) If my anxiety affects my ability to speak up in class, will I lose points? Are there ways I can contribute in class without being in the spotlight?

2) If my depression begins to affect my attendance, will there be chances to make up for absences? What are your policies for attendance in our class? If I am absent, should I come to you to ask what I missed, or should I ask another student in class?

3) If I’m struggling with assignments for our class, can I come to you for help with them? I noticed your office hours (on the syllabus, your office door, etc.) but I realized that none of your office hours fit my schedule. Are you available for appointments outside of your regular office hours? 

4) I’ve already looked into the tutoring services at our school, but are there any other resources you’d recommend like useful websites, other books, or online tutoring that would help me learn the class material?

5) Do you have any advice for students who struggle with anxiety or depression when it comes to succeeding in your classes?

Aim to create a sort of plan with your professors--make sure you know how attendance will affect your grade, whether you need to prepare to be called on in class, what you should do if you’re struggling with the class assignments, and whether the professor will work with you if you begin to suffer from your mental health concerns during the semester.

This sort of response shows your professors that you’re motivated to succeed despite any additional challenges you might face, and encourages them to view you as a student who needs additional support, rather than someone just faking mental health issues to avoid work.

Most professors want every single one of their students to succeed and fully recognize that some students need accommodations and an understanding response in order to thrive at college. You can increase your chances of doing great (while also decreasing college anxiety), by mustering up the strength to grab hold of every single resource your school offers.

Sorry for the long answer, but I hope that helps!