#also I was already pretty weepy halfway through the discussion at the temple

[littleragondin]

So I may have been slightly obsessing over “To sir with love”, as one does, and a thing that has been circling in my head for the last few days is the way Tian's confrontation with his mother at the start of episode 13 and his talk with Yang at the end of the same episode echo and oppose each other.

Madame Li comes to Tian when he is in love, hopeful, begging for a chance at happiness, and how does she respond? She crushes it, with the revelation about Jiu and Mr. Ma yes, but mostly with everything else. You will never know love, she says, except mine. That stifling love who wants him to be someone else, that chips at who he is again and again and again.

Then Yang finds his brother (heart)broken, and Tian holds him back to confess his love, again, now in despair and shame and self loathing. And Yang response to that is as it has always been, that his brother is wonderful just as he is. You deserve love he promises, and I love you I love you I love you. A love with no reservation and for all that Tian is, a love always there.

And they both love Tian, they are both afraid and worried for him, both are going to great lengths to protect him, at this point both believe that Jiu has lied to Tian and played him. And. Yet. His mother again puts the blame on him, on who he is, makes him guilty of his own betrayal. His brother reminds him that it's not true, that the betrayer is to blame, and that the fault never laid with him.

And so it's no surprise that Tian pushes away his mother and the prison her love has built around him, but seeks the comfort of his brother's love who has always celebrated who he is.

[faelune-home]

FFXIV Write 2020 #15: Ache

(A/N: I say on my last prompt post that I inadvertently have a theme going in my pieces, and this prompt just enables me to keep working with it lol XD

Not every prompt is gonna lean into it, but most of them have halfway into the month now. The only thing I would say is unfortunate it that I’ve said my miqo WoL is a cheery positive character but most of these being focused on loss or sad things has presented her as more weepy or frustrated :’’D I’ll need to balance these out with cheery miqo!Fu fics after the month lol

Well loss and sad feels are the thing right now, so let’s look at heartache! Aka, I’ve written myself into the corner that is no WoLShipping cos my WoL is more focused on her duty and the pitfalls that mean relationships would be a lot harder when you have so many responsibilities :’) All WoLships are anchored for miqo!Fufu. If I ever want to do shippy stuff, I’ll have to AU it off my WoL timeline rip

Mostly smaller spoilers to the end of Heavensward, 3.3/.4 era, but the actual timeline placement of this one, I’m actually not sure, it could just happen after 3.4, but I could have it happening in 4.1 or 5.3 when the game also has story downtime.

Word count: 1953

@ffxiv-writers)

The low attendance in the Rising Stones made for a quiet atmosphere. One could hear a pin drop, or a door creaking open, as happened to the returning Fufu, dressed in a short ruffled dress gifted to her by the Scion’s own receptionist earlier that day. She only hoped to sneak in and hurry to her room, avoid any chatter. But her luck was against her, as a waiting Alisaie and Tataru jumped to attention at her arrival.

“Well, you’re home earlier than expected,” the lalafell giggled, “No-one here would’ve questioned if you’d enjoyed a longer dinner with Ser Aymeric.” The miqo’te flushed, averting her eyes from the grinning girls.

“There was no need to go any longer, it was just dinner,” she said.

“Just dinner,” Tataru scoffed, shaking her head. “Someone as hopelessly smitten as you just shrugged it off as dinner when he’d get to his knees for your any request?” Ignoring Fufu’s cry of umbrage at the suggestion, which itself drew a laugh from the younger girl in the room, Tataru jumped from her chair and declared, “You two wait right here. I will be back with tea and we are discussing the evening events.”

As she marched off for the Stones’ kitchen, Fufu just sagged, grumbling, “But there were no events.”

“She’s not going to take that as an excuse you know,” Alisaie smiled, “And even if you went off to your room, she’d just drag you back here or insist on having the conversation there instead.” The woman sighed, knowing the elezen’s word to be true. Resigned to the badgering to come, Fufu took her seat at the table beside Alisaie and placed her head on the surface, earning a sorry pat on her shoulder.

“I have to confess, I don’t see why it was only dinner,” the red mage hummed, eyebrow arched and a cheeky smirk spreading on her lips, “I did promise profusely not to go off and get shot with another poison tipped arrow to spoil this one like I did the last. With extra reassurances to my brother of course.”

Fufu pouted, but didn’t protest, which allowed Alisaie to continue, “Not to mention all the small tasks and missions were handed to every other soul here, leaving you a free bird for the day. Therefore, you had all the time in the world to engage the man in any affairs. More than just ‘dinner’, if you get me.”

Giving the girl a side eye, the miqo’te mumbled into the table, “Where did you learn about anything like that?” Alisaie simply smiled and leaned back in her chair, content to not answer.

To her credit, Tataru returned at this point, holding a tea tray. As she began setting up their cups on saucers and sliding a plate of bite sized biscuits into the middle, the lalafell said, “Y’know, as well as making sure everything here was all cleared up, we called ahead to make sure he wasn’t busy. Bless the Twelve for Lucia helping to negotiate his work in his stead.”

“I’d say you all have too much time on your hands if you’re this invested in playing matchmaker. You’re taking precious focus away from Ishgard’s workings and the rest of Eorzea,” Fufu monotoned. Alisaie rolled her eyes and countered, “That you say your part is to care for all of Eorzea vs his own single focus on Ishgard betrays that you are far too overworked and you deserved a break.”

The miqo’te frowned, idly running her fingertip around the rim of her freshly poured cup of tea. Tataru finally sat herself down, saucer in hand and declared, “There! We’re all set. Now tell us what happened?”

Fufu took a sip. “We had dinner. Went for a walk around the Hoplon-”

“Oh, that would’ve been nice,” Alisaie interrupted, taking a biscuit and ignoring the sharp look Tataru shot her way.

“...And then I left.”

Tataru coughed on her tea, hissing back a curse at the heat. “Wait, that’s it?” Even Alisaie tilted her head, confused.

A nod. “Yup. Dinner, a walk, then home. I told you nothing much happened.”

“W-well, what did you talk about? Surely you didn’t eat in silence,” the shorter woman stumbled, bewilderment writ upon her face.

Fufu shrugged. “Yeah, we talked. He said Ishgard was adapting well, though a few old guard types were still being stubborn about the change in policies, and the dragons coming and going into the Firmament. He was happy with how that’s been going, and pretty surprised when I said I was helping out there. I figured Francel might’ve brought it up.”

“And as nice as that is to hear, truly, I don’t think that’s what Tataru is looking for,” the girl said, seeing the quivering pout on the frustrated woman’s face.

“You’re absolutely right. Where is the romance? The sweeping declarations of courtship and love? You have had wider mooneyes than any miqo’te for this man since day 1 and now you tell me you had the best opportunity to be forthright and honest with him and you didn’t take it?” Tataru jumped to her feet onto the chair, hands slamming down on the table, making the tea shake. “And as I said before, he is just as obviously infatuated with you right back. Even if you somehow bit your tongue, surely he must’ve said something.”

Fufu carefully regarded the other woman, taking another sip. “I think you’ve been indulging in too much local gossip.” As Tataru near comically brought her head down against the surface, Alisaie frowned and stared intently at the keeper, eyes narrowed.

“You are being awfully cagey about this. Normally you’re much more full of life, or at least trying to be cheery even in a bad situation.” The Warrior noticeably avoided looking at the girl. Finally deciding to put her foot down and see to her friend’s uncharacteristic behaviour, Alisaie put her cup on the saucer, pushed it far away and asked, “What happened?”

An ear flicked. “I already said.”

“And you’re clearly leaving something out. Did he say no? Or did someone else say something? I know you’re not usually the type to let other people’s words bother you, but if it got to you this time--”

“Nope. Nothing like that,” Fufu clipped back, reaching to take another sip of her tea only for Tataru to grab hold of her arm, stopping her.

“Even if people did talk, it’d be more good than bad. At least the good would outweigh the awful, people would be delighted. Imagine the buzz across the lands; ‘The Warrior of Light and Ishgard’s own Lord Commander enamoured toge-’”

The cup slammed to the table, tea sloshed out onto the wood as the woman snapped, “And that’s the problem!”

Both girls jumped back at the outburst. Fufu lowered her head to her hands, letting out a watery sniff.

“You mean,” Alisaie tested slowly, watching for the miqo’te reaction, “the attention?” Her head shook, still buried in her hands.

“No,” she sighed, lifting her head again, her eyes glistening. “The problem is who we are, and what we do. He’s the Lord Commander of the Temple Knights and one of the Speakers of the House. Ishgard’s fresh out of a thousand year long war and people still struggle with the shift. There’s dissenters in the ranks and the lowborn people still don’t trust his words even with the efforts of Hilda and the House of Commons. He doesn’t have time for relationships, and neither do I.”

She stood, tail curling and lashing. “I’m the Warrior of Light. I’m needed in so many places and I know you’re arguing that I need a break sometimes, I’m not refuting that, but with how many problems the realm has going on that need me at a moment’s notice, I can’t dedicate any time to another person that wouldn’t already be part of the Scions.” She took in a breath, trying to calm herself.

“Neither of us has the time or the energy. He has his duties to Ishgard, and I to the rest of the realm. When would we even find the time for each other? And I can’t imagine the worries he’d go through whenever I have to go off on another dangerous mission halfway across the star. Even with every promise under the sun that I can handle it and I’d come back safe, I wouldn’t resent him if he worried all the same.”

She finally collapsed back into the seat, sliding down into a depressed slouch. A heavy silence spread over the table, the tea chilled fast in the pot.

“I see,” was all Alisaie could add.

“He did ask though,” Fufu said quietly, making the others perk up, curious. “During the walk through the Pillars. He sent off his guard that came with us for some privacy.”

A sad smile inched across her lips, as she recalled, “And it was so sweet. Calling me things like ‘the fire that warmed Ishgard’s hearths’, ‘the lost sun returned to her highlands’, and ‘his own shining light of hope’.” She giggled when she saw Tataru’s eyes light up.

“But I told him my piece, ‘cos I’ve thought about it for a long time, and I couldn’t see any way for me to commit to him so long as there’s Ascians and Primals and the Empire breathing down our necks,” she sighed, “He took it well at least. He understood. I hope.”

“He should,” the elezen nodded firmly, a hand on the woman’s shoulder, “He’s a reasonable man, and after hearing all you’ve laid out, I’m sure even he can see the pitfalls of such a relationship. But perhaps he has the good patience to wait for you, whenever we finally bring a modicum of peace to the lands.”

“Oh he better!” Tataru huffed, hands on hips, “If he decides whenever you’re ready for some tender love and care that he’s not interested, then we will personally be marching to Ishgard and giving him a piece of our minds.” She thrust an open hand out, and to Fufu’s amusement, Alisaie took it and they shook, such serious looks on their faces that she couldn’t help but laugh.

“I didn’t ask you both to be my wingwomen!”

“You don’t ask for a lot of things, so often you have to be told what you need,” Alisaie smirked, picking up the plate of biscuits and bringing them to the slouching woman, adding, “Speaking of which, take one of these. They’re quite good and after that tirade, you look like you could use a pick-me-up.”

Fufu smiled, doing as she was told. And as she let out a pleased hum of approval, Tataru gave a shrug and said, “For someone who’s normally not fussed about all the work you have to do as the Warrior of Light, it’s a touch odd to see you complain about this side of it. Oddly refreshing I’d say, but odd all the same.”

Her ear flicked. “I know. But just ‘cos I don't mind the work doesn’t mean I don’t also see the burden in it.”

“Well, we try not to let you shoulder that burden entirely on your own. Just because we can’t help with primal fighting doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t pull our weight elsewhere,” the younger girl smiled, leaving them the plate and taking hold of the tray, saying, “It’s a shame teatime didn’t work out and most of this has gone to waste, but I’m glad for the chat at least.”

“Yeah,” the warrior nodded, “I appreciate you two listening, even if I didn’t want to talk about it at first.” 

Tataru laughed. “But of course! What are friends for?”