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ff-imagines · 3 years ago

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Oh snap you're opened. Welcome back! Can you please do the nsfw alphabet for peking duck? I really like your writing!

Peking duck: nsfw alphabet

Minors dni xoxo

A - aftercare

The best at it, honestly. Might seriously cry a little afterwards lmao. You don’t have to ask for anything because he’s already thought ahead and is shoving everything you could need your way. It might get a little ridiculous with how careful he is with you, he doesn’t mean to baby you, he’s just terrified of hurting you. If you’re sore at all he feels incredibly guilty, even if there is a tiny part of him that twinges in pride when you remind him you’d asked for a rough treatment and, well, he’ll be damned if he doesn’t give you exactly what you asked so nicely for.

B - body part

Of yours, it’s more a question of what he doesn't like. If he had to make a choice, he’d say your stomach. It’s good to lay his head on it, and it’s one of the softest parts of your body so it’s nice and warm. He’d die before he admitted it but some nights he goes a bit harsher than usual, splaying his hand across your stomach and feeling how deep his cock is inside you as he thrusts- it drives him insane really.

He also loves your hands, always wants to be holding you hand, especaily during sex. Will pin you down in a loving way by lacing his fingers with yours above your head.

On himself? Definitely his hair. Playing with his hair and giving him a scalp massage makes him feel some type of way. Sit in his lap while you run your nails across his scalp and he’ll bury his nose in the crook of your neck and moan for you, whatever happens next is up to you babes xoxo

C - cum

It’s not a crazy amount but it’s pretty thick. You can’t tell me he doesn’t have a big ass breeding kink. What can he say, Peking Dad is a family man! Just the thought of cumming deep inside you has him thrusting all that harder. Beg him to cum inside you, I dare you. You’ll see a side to him that’s much more feral than you’ve ever seen this sweet man. Would 100% cum inside and buck into you just a bit longer to fuck any cum that’s slipped past his cock back inside you.

D - dirty secret

He wants to take pictures of you while in your blissed out state. He loves you so stupidly much, he’s already got tons and tons of pictures of you going about your daily life. He’s the type to see a cat asleep and go “what a rare moment I must capture it forever” and that stays true with his beloved. If you’d let him, he’d love to make some… home videos with you, ones he’d definitely come back to rewatch to the point where your whines are committed to memory like the lyrics to his favourite song.

E - experience

I’d say he’s not a green bean with sex. I don’t think he’s been around the block either. He’s probably opened up such intimacy with a few others before just to test the waters, but hasn’t really felt passionate about opening that part of himself back up for quite some time. He’d most likely fumble a bit to begin with as he recalls the motions.

F - favorite position

Whatever yours is! He’s the definition of a true switch, let him soft dom you or treat him how you like, it’s up to you!

If he had to pick, he’s most likely a sucker for when you’re on his lap. No matter if he’s in charge or not, he just loves to look up and see the way your face scrunches when he bucks and hits that one spot inside you that makes your mind vacate.

G - goofy

Not…. Really? He’s accidentally goofy by saying something super out of place during intimate moments or by fretting over something you wouldn’t even think to be worried over. You could have his cock buried so deep in your insides will feel like they’ve molded to the shape of his dick and he’d stop and ask if you remembered to turn the oven off lmao

H- hair

On himself he mostly trims to keep it simple but like, that’s it. He’s got a light happy trail that he doesn’t really trim since it’s not that thick, it doesn’t really bother him.

On you, he literally doesn’t care. Shave or don’t, he’s your personal cheerleader either way.

I- intimacy

It’s his expertise, your honour! He lives to be closer to you, learn more about your desires, what makes you happiest, please let him treat you good, he adores you so much, and precious things get treated like royalty in his hands. He commits your body and reactions to memory, almost like he’s taken a photograph of every single touch- and like I said….. if you let him…. he would take pictures ;)

J- jerk off

You’d think he’d only do it occasionally but he actually does it quite a lot. He thinks it’s healthy to release regularly, it’s better to cum now than have a weird spike of horniness in public. He’s probably considered the chance that you walk in on him, and he’s surprised by how much he wants that to happen. For him to be desperately close to the edge and for you to walk in and take over, him a deer in the headlights as you take control, he’s could probably cum to that fantasy alone, honestly.

K- Kinks

Well, obv a big ole breeding kink. The thought of cumming in your deepest parts has him frenzied beyond belief.

Idk if the taking pics thing is a kink but also… that ofc.

I think he’s also into sensory deprivation. Allow him to blindfold you, tie your hands behind you, let him take care of you. He’ll handle everything from here, sweet thing, all you have to do is keep moaning for him in such a pretty way.

He’s also, surprisingly, into masochism. He doesn’t care for sadism at all, he’d die before he left a mark on your perfect skin, however….. if you decided to roughly pull his head back by his hair and bite just a little too hard, you might find him bucking into you a little faster.

He’s probably thought a bit about cock warming, but surprisingly he doesn’t really want it to be…. “sexual” as much as he desires to be closer to you. You sitting in his lap, feeling you exhale against his neck with your arms wrapped around him, all the while is cock is buried deep inside you, it just sounds so intimate, and he finds himself craving to be that close to you often.

The biggest of all? Praise praise praise. Body worship as well. He’s literally always babbling about how gorgeous you are, how good you feel, how amazing you make him feel. Always encouraging and always admiring you, just like he does every single day in non sexual contexts, always sneaking in ways to remind you how much he adores you. Tell him about a certain part of your body you don’t feel confident in, he’s paying extra attention to making it known how perfect everything about you is. Everything you have, own, are, all of it. Peking is your number one fan, sit back let him remind you just why he finds you so lovely, you won’t regret it.

L- location

He prefers to be in a secluded area, he knows he’s loud and he’d be really embarrassed if anyone but you brought up the….. volume of his whines.

However, he’s very weak when it comes to your begging. If you're in a less than private location, he’ll most likely let you lead and just try to bite his knuckle to keep from crying out. It'd be soOoOo awful if you made a game out of trying to get him to break and whine out for you unmuffled as you play with him, oOoOoHhHh the horror >:)

M- motivation

He’s an old dad with an enormous you-shaped hole in his chest, just ask him and he’ll give everything he has to his name to you. You don’t need to wear that certain perfume he loves so much, you don’t need to breathe across his neck like that, you don’t need to run a finger down his spine so slowly, he’ll give you anything you ask for, please don’t tease him so much.

If you straight up ask him for sex, he’ll mostly lean towards soft service domming, if you choose to purposely rile him up, he’ll be in a much subby-er mood.

N- no

Like I’ve said, there really isn’t a sadistic bone in his body. He also doesn’t have literally any desire for humiliation kinks. He just doesn’t like it, giving or receiving. He’s a big ole simp with a big heart and it’s in the palm of your hands, please treat it nicely :’(

O- oral

P l s let him give you oral. He might not be an expert but he lives to make you feel good.

Afab readers…. He’ll most likely try to make you sit on his face at least once, please please he wants to feel your thighs against his head while he works his tongue on you.

Amab readers, he fuckin loves to rub his thumbs on your hips to keep you from bucking as he swallows your cock, he’ll open his mouth for you after you cum, swallow, and open his mouth again to prove he didn’t let a single drop go to waste.

As for receiving, phew boy does he love receiving. He cannot for the life of him figure out where to put his hands so it’s a frenzy of him grasping the sheets to biting down on his knuckle to placing a hand on your head. If you made him look down at you and lock eyes while his cock is in your mouth his soul would leave his body lmao

P- pace

Not very fast at all, he prefers to thrust deeper than should be possible. He really likes when you beg him to go faster, and as soft as his heart is, this is the only time he might withhold himself from giving into your begging for a bit, he just loves pulling out so slowly and watch you almost cry out for him to thrust back, deeper harder, faster, please, he’ll give into you eventually, just let him savour the feeling of you needing him badly enough to cry for a few more minutes.

Q- quickies

He prefers long, drawn out rounds, but if you really need some relief quickly, he’s not one to deny you. He will most likely give in, and later on in the night when you're back home and out of the public eye, suggest you two have a much more... thorough round as quick rounds just don’t satisfy him enough.

R- risk

Surprisingly…… he kinda likes the idea. The thought of someone, maybe even someone who’s been pining for you, to catch him in the act of making you beg and cry for him. Alternatively, making them watch you as you give your full attention to him, pleasure him, make them watch you love him instead of them. It riles him up in a way even he’s not used to.

S- stamina

He’s an old man, his refractory time is kinda long lmao. He prefers one really long round rather than multiple. He doesn’t mind or judge if you need a little more, and doesn’t mind giving you a few more orgasms with his tongue or hands.

T- toys

He doesn’t have any, but he’s open to the idea! Admittedly, he likes the idea on himself, like, really likes the idea. Give him a cock ring and watch him cry out as he begs for a break that he doesn’t actually want to take because the bliss you’re giving him is making him feel like jelly.

U- unfair

He's tried to edge and tease you before but he gave in so damn quick it was almost embarrassing for him. He just adores you, he lives to please you, even if you beg him not to give in and try to tease you he just can’t, his heart is so so squishy and he loves you very much dear, please let him treat you exactly how you beg to be treated.

Overstimming however….. he does it accidentally a lot, he just loves prolonging your pleasure, watching you squirm a bit as he forces a second orgasm out of your poor spent body.

V- volume

He’s very loud honestly. If you decide to dom him he talks a lot. He's got a bad babbling habit, words of adoration bleeding from his lips that get more and more incoherent the longer you toy with him. Play with him long enough and he’ll forget how to form words, letting out loud whines and he squirms under you. You might catch him attempting to cry out your name but the poor thing just can’t seem to form the right words.

If you let him top you he’s still throwing out every compliment he can think of and he still whines a lot, he likes to bury his face in your neck to muffle himself and listen to your moans. He lives to hear you come undone, but he can’t help being so loud, you’re just so warm and you feel so good :(

W- wild card

I think jealous sex will be more common than you actually think, Peking is just very quiet about the reason he’s suddenly a bit more handsy. He knows it’s not rational to worry about his place in your heart, but it just eats at him sometimes when he sees the way you blend in with others so easily while he just… doesn’t. If a stranger/friend is more overt about their flirting he will probably be more obvious about the jealousy burning through his veins. Even if he wasn’t prompted through jealously, pillow talk sometimes leans towards him venting his fears to you. Please praise him, tell him how much you love him, he needs it :’((((

X- X Ray

A lot bigger than average and a bit curved. He never considered himself to be out of the norm, or never really considered his cock to anything else than, just, “well, its there” I suppose. He does appreciate the curve a lot more now because it makes it easier to hit your weak point. He feels a bit of pride nestling into his chest if you cry about him being too big.

Y- yearning

Fairly often, but he doesn’t mind not acting on it. He can still function and do his work if he’s only surface level horny. Literally anytime you ask he’ll deliver with very slim exceptions. He’d like it to be a regular thing, since he really enjoys the intimacy, so maybe 3-4 times a week, 1-2 if you prefer it to be.

Z- zzz

Oh man he loves cuddling with you after sex. He also loves cuddling with you period but god he loves to the pillow talk with you in his arms, listening to your sleepy voice as your grip on him slowly loosens -but never lets go, as you succumb to sleep. He isn’t overly sleepy himself, instead choosing to close his eyes and comb through your hair, or run a thumb across your cheek if your hair isn’t a texture that can be combed through. Sleep will come to him eventually, he just likes savouring the warmth you bring him.

#food fantasy #food fantasy x reader #ff peking duck #peking duck #ff peking duck x reader #peking duck x reader

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peakywitch · 4 years ago

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Hello you creative human you! I was wondering if I request some good old tommy angst with him finding out his daughter has lost her virginity? Could do with reading some drammmma while I’m working from home😂💕

His Daisy - Tommy Shelby

Warnings: usual stuff, you know (swearing, mentions of killing and sex)

Word count: 1.2 k

A/N: Hello my cutie!I couldn’t use angst, I’m so sorry, but it’s cute cute cute and has a lil drama so you don’t get bored. How’s your work doing, everything fine? i hope zoom calls are not drowning you!

As for why i didn’t use angst: i don’t believe Tommy is a slut shamer, and neither should we. Yes, my feminism got in the way, but i wasn’t comfortable. Sorry! Hope you enjoy it anyway <3

Ps: i’m not saying you are a slut shamer, nor that you think tommy is one, haha xoxo

Six in the morning was marked on the clock, which sounded in time with Tommy's footsteps.

“Tom,” his wife began, “you're going to dig a hole. And I don't think you want to be in a tunnel again. "

As he finished his millionth cigarette of the night, he collapsed into one of the black chairs in the living room.

"I swear...” he spoke, slowly and furiously “that as soon as she walks through that door, I will drag her to the car and I’ll take her to a house of fuckin’ nuns, Y/N. I swear to fuckin’ god."

His wife sighed and pursed her lips in disgust.

It was not the first time that Daisy had escaped during the night. Y/N and Thomas knew perfectly well, but she always came back at three in the morning.

Tommy changed position every two seconds; he was uncomfortable, angry, nervous and scared. Y/N did not remove her fingernails from her lips, nor did she stop fearing the worst.

They spent ten minutes in silence, in their pajamas and in the middle of the room. The house that had ten rooms seemed even smaller than the tunnels of France that still lived in Tommy. And with every minute that passed, the house got smaller and smaller, and the knot in both throats grew and tightened more and more.

After five more minutes, footsteps and quiet laughter were heard in the front yard. Tommy separated his palms from his eyes and looked at his wife in relief. His face was deformed just after hearing the voice of a boy, which accompanied his daughter's voice. Like a shooting star, Tommy bolted for the door to give his daughter a warm and agitated welcome.

"Daisy, you are going to kill your father." Y/N sighed, getting up from the chair, while listening to how the laughter stopped.

"Dad…” said Daisy, seeing the man in pajamas.

"Indoors. Now."

Tommy's voice erased all happiness from the night before. She turned to dismiss the boy, but her father's rough tug interrupted her, forcing her inside.

"Dad!" she yelled complaining, but the slam of the door made her scream inaudible.

"Daisy, where were you?" Y/N asked, stepping to one side of Tommy.

"It doesn't matter..." she said, trying to free herself from Tom's grip.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" he asked, walking into the living room with her daughter's arm in her hand. He sat Daisy on the chair in which he was the last fifteen minutes “You're going to sit in that damn chair, until I feel like. Or until you tell us where the fuck you were! "

"I'm sleepy, we'll talk later."

Daisy tried to get up, but her father's scream commanding her to sit scared her, sending her back to the black single chair.

"Mommy, you know where I've been..." Daisy started.

Thomas's expressionless face scared Daisy even more. The anger showed in his eyes, always.

"Save the stories, young lady. Tell us where the hell you have been because today I am sending you to live with nuns. "

"Yeah, of course."

“Daisy, we haven't slept in five hours. Please just tell us where you were." Y/N sighed, hugging herself. It was a cold morning.

"I was with Adam." she said, sighing heavily.

"Who the fuck is Adam, Daisy?" Thomas asked, keeping his tone.

Daisy looked at Y/N.

Shit.

Adam.

Y/N had forgotten to talk to Tom.

"Daisy, go to your room." Y/N spoke. She had promised her daughter that she would explain to her father.

"Y/N..." began Thomas.

"Now." she sentenced, heading to her husband's study.

"Y/N!" he yelled, following her. He turned in his footsteps and ordered Daisy to stay right there because otherwise the boy would become history thanks to the Peaky Blinders.

With the second door slamming in the morning, Thomas Shelby and his wife locked themselves in his study, demanding an explanation.

“Tell me where the fuck was Daisy, Y/N.” he demanded, while serving himself a glass of scotch.

“If Tommy Shelby doesn’t drink his scotch at crazy hours it’ll evaporate.” She said in a whisper.

“I will drink whatever the fuck I want, at whatever hour I fuckin’ like, Y/N!” he defended himself angrily. He finished his glass in a second, to sit shortly after in a chair, near to where his wife was standing.

“Now, tell me where Daisy was. Because apparently, you knew the whole bloody night, and didn’t bother to tell me.”

His calm tone always exasperated the woman, he had that voice every single time, every day.

“Yeah, of course. I’m an idiot. I made you spend five hours awake, because I knew where she was and just wanted to make fun of you. You are right.” She argued sarcastically.

Tommy took his glasses of, dropped them in the table by his chair an touched his nose bridge. If there was anything he hated more than war, was sarcasm.

When she seated on the black chair next to her husband’s, she took his hand in hers.

“Tommy, look at me.”

When she saw his eyes, she traveled twenty years back in time. His concerned look was the same look he had when Daisy was born. She smiled slightly, he looked as beautiful as ever. His mood never mattered, sad, angry or happy. He was always the most handsome man she ever lied eyes on. Well, when he had that playful smile on his face, he was charming.

“I didn’t know where she was, Tom. I did not. But I now know.”

“Does she have a…?” he whispered.

His mouth could hide his smiles, his eyebrows could hide his frowns, but his eyes could never hide happiness or if he was worried. It was as if they changed, there was something that changed.

“Boyfriend?” she helped him, he nodded “yeah, kind of.” Y/N smiled, Tommy did too.

“Did they…you know?”

Thomas Shelby could say the alphabet of bad words. He knew them all. He knew a few in other languages, too. He had no shame in saying them everywhere and to anyone. He could also be very abrasive with his words, but with Daisy. With Daisy, he never said a bad word. Not until she turned sixteen. He got used to say “muffin” and “puppy” in front of her. Arthur once made fun out of him, but his gaze shut him up, forever. So, the fact that he wasn’t saying the word “sex” didn’t shook Y/N at all.

“I think so.” His wife smiled, looking into his eyes while caressing his hand.

“I swear to God, if that fucker hurts her, Y/N, I…” he started, whispering angrily.

“You will take care of your daughter. Because she will need you. In a month or two years. And you’ll be there for here. As you were there, holding her little hand in yours when she was born.” She interrupted him, with a smile on her face.

He fought the tears. He fought, hard. His baby was a woman now, and he had to accept it. And be there to hold her hand and hug her until her heart was in one piece again. But that didn’t mean that he had to forget about revenge if that ever happened.

He let out a smile, he couldn’t fight the smile. And he didn’t know if it was because of the beautiful daughter he had, or if it was because he knew no one could harm for free his Daisy.

——

taglist: open

@a-golden-sunflower-vol-6

@fifty-shadesof-tommyshelby

@stydia-4-ever

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mcfiddlestan · 3 years ago

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Fic Writer Questions

I'm bored and this was in a note on my phone from forever ago, so I must have been tagged at some point. Apologies to whoever tagged me. 🥴

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

52. Though, I used to have a few more. I deleted a few fics some years ago bc I hated that they were just sitting there unfinished. I was going through a particularly brutal bout of writer's block that affected both my fic writing and my RP writing.

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

720,782. And I was stressing about a 30-page thesis. 😂 (which ended up being over 15,000 words)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I started writing fic in 2000 with *NSYNC, Christina Aguilera, and Backstreet Boys fics. I stopped writing a bit around 2004-2007 (because of a stupid boy) and picked it up again in 2012 after reading some awesome Cherik fics and wanting to write my own FrostIron College AU when I read one that was good, but kind of disturbing. I think I write for one fandom -- Marvel -- but, like different factions of it. FrostIron and WinterFrost mostly, with a dash of Stucky, ThunderFrost, DashingFrost, and WinterIron.

4) What are your Top 5 fics by kudos?

Black Light Special (WinterFrost) - 628 kudos

Can I Bum A Ride? (WinterFrost) - 425 kudos

Empire State of Mind (FrostIrom) - 420 kudos

Dark Side (FrostIron) - 398 kudos

A Worthy Collection (FrostIron) - 309 kudos

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really do make an effort to respond to every single comment, even the not-so-nice ones. I want people to know I've seen and read the comment they took the time to post, so even if I just thank them for reading and commenting, I respond.

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Considering it features two -- count 'em, two! -- major character deaths, it's definitely Empire State of Mind. Though, I'd argue Dark Side is a pretty close second.

7) What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Probably Ghosts That We Knew. It was the final fic in the trilogy that is the Picture Perfect Series. It follows Loki and Tony from when they meet in college and ends 30+ years later.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

No, not really. And I rarely, if ever, read them. There's no real reason behind it other than I've just never come upon one and thought "ooh I need to read that."

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I got a lot of hateful messages after I completed Empire State of Mind. People were really angry at me for killing off two major characters. I mean, a lot of the messages were "omg I hate you but I loved this!" kind of vibe. But there were a few that cussed me out and called me names for writing it.

I had some chapters of a Fools Rush In FrostIron AU posted a while ago, in which Loki was a female, the only daughter in both the Odinson and Laufeyson families. Following the storyline of the Matthew Perry/Salma Hayek movie, Loki meets Tony Stark in a bar and gets pregnant from a one night stand. Anyway, I got a lot of messages telling me that Odin's misogyny and mistreatment of Loki was unrealistic -- even though I had literally modeled his behavior after the movie that inspired it. 🤷🏽

I have some prompts done for the 100 Ways to Say ILY writer's block challenge and for one of them, I borrowed the storyline from an episode of Will & Grace when Will's father dies of a heart attack after they have a bad argument where his father basically admits he wished Will wasn't gay so he could have had an easier life. In the epsiode, the fight starts because Will's parents gift his baby blanket to Grace, who is pregnant with her ex-husband's child. Will takes offense, they don't understand why bc he never mentioned wanting children, and a fight ensues. Similarly, in my fic, Frigga and Odin offer a pregnant Natasha (his BFF) Loki's blanket. Some readers did not like this and did not understand why I would write it. In another prompt, one that was literally how my last relationship ended, got some harsh critiques. Those ones hurt especially bc it was such a personal experience I wrote about.

And I actually got into a fight -- like a screaming match -- IRL with my best friend's boyfriend at the time. One of my bestie's friends asked about my fanfiction and I gave them the gist of one of my stories where Loki has a brief relationship with Sif that results in a child and later reconnects with Tony. Later on, Sif offers to be a surrogate for Tony and Loki and eventually births three more children for them. Bestie's boyfriend could not fathom why a woman would purposely get herself impregnated and then give the child away. I tried to explain that this was a thing that a lot of women did IRL -- and some don't even use their own eggs, but the eggs of a woman who cannot conceive; Sif used her own eggs so that all four children were half related (two by Loki, two by Tony). But he just did not believe me and told me I must not be a very good writer. Worst night of my life.

10) Do you write smut?

I was just telling @teadrinkingwolfgirl the other night how when I first started writing fic I did not write sex scenes. It was always inferred or glossed over. When I started writing again in 2012, for FrostIron, it was my first time writing more detailed sex. I cite Jackie Collins as my smut-writing mentor. I've written almost exclusively M/M smut.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Which is like the best thing ever! A couple of my older fics have been translated to Russian. I have one *NSYNC fic that was made into an audio fic. And someone recently messaged me on ff*net to ask to translate as many of my fics as they can to Spanish. :D

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not technically. I've gotten a lot of prompts and ideas from friends and mutuals, and I started reformatting my WinterFrost RP with my ex from 2014-2015 into novel form a while ago. That's tecnically the only thing I've written with someone else and published.

14) What's your all time favorite ship?

I have two that will always, ALWAYS, have my heart and attention. FrostIron (Tony Stark/Loki) and WinterFrost (Bucky Barnes/Loki). They are the two ships that I write the most, read the most, and seek out fanart for the most.

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Probably The Flame. It's a fic that starts out ThunderFrost (not related; Asgardian Prince Thor semi-rescues an imprisoned Jotun Prince Loki) but eventually ends up FrostIron. It's the only fic I've ever written that features Loki with both male and female biology. I have a few chapters done but I haven't worked on it in years.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I write realistic relationships. And I think my dialogue is also realistic and easy to grasp. And I put a lot of humor in between all the angst and hurt.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I get too detailed with background. I just reread my Picture Perfect series (which I do like once a year), and there are literal paragraphs of background that in Google Docs is like pages and pages. But I want to make sure people understand my characters! LOL

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm a big fan of it. I featured a lot of Norwegian in the Picture Perfect series. And French. I think as long as it flows with the storytelling and it's not forced on the characters it can be really cool. It should be natural. I always leave a translation list at the end of the chapter or explain in-text what was said. Which I think most authors I've read do.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Backstreet Boys. LOL. Don't judge. I started writing my own fics after discovering BSB fanfiction written by an author named Mistress Lynz. She wrote a lot of fics about bloodletting, but I really enjoyed the fics where the guys were hooking up with each other behind the scenes, LOL explains why I write mostly M/M now. 😂

20) What's your favorite fic you've written?

They're kind of like my babies so at different times different ones are my faves. But if I really had to pick one, I would say Stay With Me is my favorite. I got some of the most amazing comments on this story from people that found meaning and themes in the story that I didn't even realize I'd put in there. It was one of my first WinterFrost fics I'd posted and the response was more than I could have asked for.

And now I have to tag people! @teadrinkingwolfgirl @incredifishface @incubigirl @rabentochter @marvelswinterfrost and whoever else feels up to it.

xoxo

#fic writer meme #fic writer questions #all my fics #my writing #frostiron #winterfrost #stucky #thunderfrost #winteriron #dashingfrost

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writingmanaged · 4 years ago

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Fluff Alphabet (Sirius Black)

Ship: Sirius Black x Reader

Triggers: Just mentions of alcohol and sex.

A/N: This is my first post and I hope you all enjoy it! I saw these abcs a lot on tumblr and I thought, why not! I decided to make a new alphabet instead of copying one because I thought it would be much more fair. Without further adu, let's go to the fic!

Α - Activities (Hobbies and things you like to do together)

It is no surprise to anyone that Sirius adores his motorcycle. He simply adores the feeling of the air on his face, pulling his hair back while he looks down at the sight of London. It would only make it better for him, if you were with him too admiring the view and wrapping your arms around him. Perhaps you'd be frightened at first, but he'd make sure to make you understand you are in no danger while he is around. Well, almost.

B - Baby (do they want to have a baby with you?)

Not really. Don't get him wrong, he simply wants his freedom. He thinks you are too young and you should enjoy your independence as much as you can. However, (if you are a fem!reader), as long as you tell him you are pregnant he changes his mind about that completely. Suddenly, he wants to protect that little human and make sure his or her childhood is much better than his own. (That makes him father material)

C - Comfort (how to they comfort you after a bad day?)

If there is one person who knows what it's like to have a bad day, that's Sirius Orion Black. Personally, he usually lets it out on alcohol or sex. But he would never let you do that. Instead he'd pour you just one light drink and let you tell him all about it while you rest in his arms. He'll try to be of help in every way possible. No one has the right to hurt his baby.

D - Dancing (do they like to dance with you?)

Oh yes! Sirius is an amazing dancer of all types. He will always drag you to the dance floor with him. If you like dancing, then prepare yourself for the best time of your life. If you don't, he'll still try to dance with you. Maybe by putting on some music in the dorm when it is empty and dancing in the dark.

E - Eating (meals together)

Sirius will make sure you always have 3 meals a day. During your Hogwarts days, he'll always check on you on all three meals. Both because he loves to stare at you, and to make sure you are eating properly. If you two live together, he will still do so. Do not expect him to cook. This boy barely even had to pour water himself. If you can't cook, however, he'll probably learn. Maybe you could have cooking lessons together.

F - Favourite (their favourite part on you)

Although everyone would expect him to be obsessed over your body (and don't get me wrong, he did love every aspect of it), his favourite part on you is actually your eyes. He just loves to stare inside of them and seeing your love for him reflect inside. They always give him a warm feel which must be what home is supposed to feel like.

G - Gifts (what it says)

It's no secret that this boy is rich. He would love to spend loads of money on you. He'd buy you the most expensive things. Everything you ever need is yours. You look at something in the store? He instantly buys it. If you feel uncomfortable with all this, he will try to restrain himself. You should still expect great gifts on birthdays, holidays and anniversaries whatsoever.

H - Hair (how you treat each other's hair)

Sirius is very fond of his hair. He takes extra care of them. He adores when you run your fingers through them or brush them for you. At times he may even allow you to braid them. At first he was a bit annoyed by it but seeing how it helped you relax it helped him relax as well. He may or may not go to classes looking like that-

I - Ironing (who does the chores?)

I know I've said this a lot, but Sirius was brought up in a rich household. Which means he never got to do chores. However, unlike common belief, he is above all a gentleman and would never let you do all the chores by yourself. He'd make sure you shared an equal amount of chores.

J - Jokes (would you pull jokes on each other)

You bet! Jokes are part of your daily life so you better get used to it. He would also adore to prank you. Your reactions are always so adorable to him. He can't help but life while you are scolding him for ruining your hair. But his laugh is so attractive that you sigh and start laughing along.

K - Kissing (how are their kisses?)

Deep, rough and passionate. He wants to show you how strong his feelings are through the kiss. He is also very demanding and wants to show off dominance. French kisses are his favourite. However, when times require it his kisses can be softer.

L - Lies (would you lie to each other?)

No. Sirius is a very honest person. He would feel most betrayed if you ever lied to him even about the slightest thing. He would also always tell you the truth. "Did you just eat the last piece of cake!?" ".....yes?"

M - Money (how do you handle money?)

Seeing as it is not an issue, he just spends it in all the ways possible. Perhaps he wanted to get rid of it for the shake of his parents. However, you (as the brains of the relationship) would make sure there are always some money aside in times of need.

N - No (things they are not okay with)

Sharing. Not with you, of course. He'd always share everything with you. His house, his clothes, his friends, his heart, they are all yours. However, you only belong to him. This is not an open relationship and if anyone stands too close to you well... They are on for a lifetime of hexing.

O - Outdoors (do you spend more time outdoors or indoors?)

Sirius is a very outgoing person. However, if you are introverted he would stay inside. He is into anything as long as you are there. Still, you should forget about quiet reading nights. Even if you stay in, time with Sirius is very active and loud.

P - Partying (do they like partying with you?)

He is the party animal. More specifically the party dog. This means you will get dragged along into parties a lot. If you like partying, then awesome! If you don't, he'll try to change your mind at first. If he can't, then he'll go without you only to grow tired of it eventually and stay inside with you.

Q - Question (marriage and how they feel about it)

He dreams of it actually. Only the thought of you being a Black, is enough to make him bear a huge grin on his face. Nevertheless, that is the case only after he met you. Beforehand, he wasn't so supportive about it. He was actually certain he would die single.

R - Right (do you argue a lot? Who usually wins?)

This depends on your personality of course. But you should know, this boy is very stubborn. With the correct arguements, you are the one who wins. But he is too stubborn to ever actually admit defeat.

S - Sick (taking care of each other when sick)

He barely ever gets sick, which means he is usually the one taking care of you. He doesn't care if he gets infected. Really, he just wants to take care of you and make sure you get better soon. He'll stay with you while you're sleeping and always race to bring you everything you need. Painkillers? The best in the market. Pillows? The softest. Soup? The tastiest. Hotel? Trivago.

T - Tears (do they cry a lot? Do they do it in front of you?)

Due to his background, he actually cries a lot. Especially when he finds out news about his family. But he would never do it in front of you. He isn't afraid of being seen as weak or anything like that, but he just doesn't want to make you sad.

U - Until death tears us apart (does your relationship last long? Do you ever get apart)

He wanted to stay with you forever. Unfortunately, we all know he has to spend 13 years in Azkaban prison. If you still love him, he would be very happy to get back with you when he comes out. If not, he would be heartbroken but understanding.

V - Victim (what do they do if someone blames you for something you didn't do?)

Oh boi. He would never let that go. He hates when things like this happened. When someone who is innocent gets punished (rings a bell?). He would do his best to get proof regarding your innocent and whoever blamed you... Let's just say they woke up in the infirmary the next day.

W - Working out (what it says)

Sirius likes to work out a lot. That's why his body is the way it is. He'd be delighted if you wanted to join me. He had always wished to do all these couple training.

X - Xoxo (how do they text?)

If phones existed in his era, he'd text you 24/7. Really all the time he wasn't with you, he'd text you. He would send a lot of memes that's for sure. He would also send you a lot of selfies and use emojis all the times. 💕

Y - Yours (Are they possesive? Do they get jealous a lot?

A lot! They would be jealous the second a guy is more than friendly. Don't get him wrong, he trusts you. It is the others he doesn't trust. He'd always rush to your side and wrap his arm around you, claiming you as his own.

Z - Zzzz... (How you sleep together)

He loves cuddling, especially if it is after making love. He'd like to hold you in his arms until morning. He hates to depart from you when you wake up so he'd pull you back down for some more cuddling and maybe even more if you are in the mood.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius #sirius x you #sirius x reader #sirius x y/n #marauders x reader #marauders #marauders era #harry potter marauders #harry potter headcanons #harry potter x reader #padfoot #snuffles #Sirius black x you #young sirius x reader #young sirius black #young sirius imagine

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consumedkings-archive · 4 years ago

Note

“ i thought you only had eyes for me. ” serve us some unholy trinity queen xoxo

oh!!! hello dove!!! thank u for gracing my inbox i am SO unworthy but so happy to try and provide you some content!! i hope you don’t mind that i combined yours and @shallow-gravy’s requests.... they just felt like they fit so well together, i couldn’t resist (ಥ﹏ಥ)

iii. vicious traditions ✤ the unholy trinity

john/elliot/diana + “i thought you only had eyes for me” and “i can’t stop picturing you with her” or: a dissertation on “Mine is a noun if you capitalize it” john seed struggling to reconcile sharing his wife and also having more of what he Wants. taken from this prompt list!

word count: 1.8k

warnings: language, sexual themes, but nothing explicit. as always, herald!elliot and john deserve their own warning. ✧･ﾟ also i only sort of proof read this so APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE

The first time Elliot kisses Diana, John thinks about it for three days after.

He’s known. Of course, he’s always known, because Elliot made it perfectly clear why she wanted the deputy from the get-go. I like her, she’d said, a phrase normally reserved for the most puzzling of obstacles. It’s not a game, isn’t fun if she doesn’t have to work for it, and on that front he and Elliot differ entirely—he would prefer Diana Baker’s complete and utter submission, in written and verbal form, handed over in a glass frame so that he can hang it on the wall in the bedroom to admire as he pleases.

In a way, he does. Each time there is a violent collision, each time their mouths and teeth meet, he holds onto it for a while—keeps it for himself, even though his wife is pacing herself, even though she reprimands him for rushing, for pushing Diana too far too fast.

Conversely, Elliot wants to work for it. She wants to get her hands dirty, elbows deep in the gore of Diana, the filthy fucking carnivore that she is, and normally John would love it; normally, it’s one of his favorite things about his wife, that she’s so willing to get the blood up to her elbows, no gloves required. Normally, he likes watching her sink her teeth in—but it’s different, now.

Diana is different.

She has always been different. She is the exception to every one of their rules. They had taken lovers, before, to share—this was not new—but they had never taken someone permanently, not the way that Elliot wants Diana (and the way that John wants the deputy, too). They would have never tolerated this kind of blatant disrespect from anyone, not even a pretty little viper skittering through their garden.

But they do; whenever she takes something, Elliot will just go out and take it back. She’ll go out and build a new silo—it doesn’t replace the product, but what can you do—or she’ll pay the viciousness back, in turn, another way. Hit them somewhere else. They’re incapable, nearly, without Diana—so if she’s all the way in the Henbane, who’s going to pay attention to poor Fall’s End?

It goes like this, on and on, vicious cycles before Diana eventually finds herself back there. This evening, John expects no change of pace, but when Diana enters the room, Elliot’s eyes fix on her; he feels like the outside party, the interloper, because the blonde clicks her tongue and brings Diana, bloodied and bruised, to her with delicate fingers.

“Let me see,” Elliot says, the pads of her fingers tilting Diana’s chin up, smoothing along the pillar of her throat. John can only watch—memorizing the way Elliot touches her, different than the way Elliot touches him, both because he wants to covet the image in his mind for as long as possible and because, like watching a car crash in motion, he cannot look away.

And he cannot look away when his wife guides the deputy’s face to hers and kisses her, either.

It’s not even a particularly enticing looking kiss, really. It’s nothing more than a chaste brush of lips, with all of the desexing of a kiss from the Pope, but the intent and the message behind it is clear, because Elliot’s eyes look to him pointedly.

See? The kiss says, his wife’s thumb coming up to drag on Diana’s lower lip, making the brunette’s breath hitch in her throat. See how good she is for us?

So yes, he can’t stop thinking about it. Not that night, and not the morning after, when Diana has left in their sleep—a shorter visit than usual, perhaps spooked by the physical intimacy, strange and alien in comparison to the way that John and her have locked lips before—and there is a whole conflict of emotions occurring in him for another two days after that.

I do like that she’s good for us, he thinks, watching Elliot at the vanity, pulling her hair back from her face. He does like it, he does like that Diana Baker comes back to them time and time again, but Elliot is their bridge—she’s the go-between, and this slow progress means that John has become the interloper.

“What is it?” Elliot asks, watching him through the mirror. She’s given up trying to put her hair up in a ponytail and instead now sits, cinched in a silk robe, chin in her hand as she gazes at him.

His mouth twists. He shifts back against the pillows. “I can’t stop picturing you with her.”

The blonde’s eyes don’t flicker, not even a little bit. Not a sliver of softness in her expression. She doesn’t move to comfort him—and she wouldn’t, but he wishes, sometimes, that she would come to him more readily; but any emotion, any feeling, makes her feel deranged, makes her feel seen, and one of those is worse than the other—but rather watches him.

“That’s the point, isn’t it?” Elliot smooths a strand of hair from her face. “For you to think about your girls? Together?”

John’s mouth plants itself in a frown. “I’m not being funny, hellcat.”

“What’s so different?” she says at last.

“What do you mean?”

“Well.” It’s her turn to shift carefully moving some items on the vanity out of the way—trinkets, kept from her childhood. “What’s so different this time?”

“It’s—she’s yours,” John posits.

“Noelle was mine,” Elliot says plainly. “You loved Noelle. You called us your little wolves.”

“Yes, well—” He sits up, swallowing. “It’s different.”

Elliot turns in her seat so that she’s looking at him now, and he can see it—the brows furrowing, the defiant tilt of her chin in his direction. “So I’ve gathered.”

“Elliot—”

“But I’m asking what makes it different.”

“It’s different because you picked her!” John snaps, finally, the hot spike of emotion flaring in his chest. “You singled her out. She’s your—”

“Our.”

“She’s not mine,” he manages out, voice bridging on strained. “She’s not, and you know that. And you want her for longer. It’s always just been a little while, and you want to keep her, don’t you?”

Elliot stares at him. “Don’t you?”

Yes, John thinks, furious, mouth dry. Yes, I do. I want her for-fucking-ever, the same way I want you, until the cold black fucking end. I want her forever, just like you, and she won’t fucking have me.

“I thought you only had eyes for me,” he says instead.

The blonde sighs, coming to a stand finally—at last—coming to him, crawling onto his lap.

“I have eyes,” she murmurs, draping her arms around his shoulders, “for us.”

John exhales through his nose. It’s more complicated than that. It’s more complicated because Elliot so easily fits with Diana—even in the beginning. Elliot’s strange juxtaposition between Diana and John afforded her a comfortable advantage on both playing fields, as it does now; and maybe he’s jealous of that, too, that his wife, beautiful and charming and deadly in equal parts, is somehow reeling Diana in better than he could. With less carnage.

It should be him. He should be the one winning Diana over, drawing her to them, presenting her to Elliot as his conquest, his gift, for them to both enjoy. And no matter which way, she always bucks against him.

“Honey,” Elliot says, her voice soft. “I’m your wife. And she’ll be our wife. Don’t you want that?”

Dropping his head against her shoulder, he lets her card her fingers through his hair. “Yes,” he manages out. “I do.”

“Then let me get her for us, baby.” The blonde’s words are light. “What’s mine is yours, so if I get what I want, then we get what we want.” Her lips brush against his temple as his arms wind around her. “You’re always doing everything for me. Trust me to do this for you.” Another pause, and then: “For us.”

His chest feels tight. He thinks, no, I have to do it, you asked me, and he thinks, I don’t like sharing my wife, and he thinks, I want her too, I want Diana too.

And he thinks, yes, please, do this for me.

“I do,” he says, into the crook of her neck. “I trust you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It’s late; the sky is speckled with stars and dark clouds, promising a storm on the way even amidst the humid summer heat, and John is exceptionally tired.

This isn’t the first time he’s stayed late at the compound, listening to Joseph’s furious whispers, and it certainly won’t be the last. But now he’s home, and his shoulders ache and burn with the tension of having driven himself home, and the last thing that he wants to do is think about anything.

However, as he enters the bedroom, he’s surprised to find not one viper in his bed, but two.

“You’re home,” Elliot says, her voice sweet; thick and syrupy and laden with what he can only assume are the remnants of red wine from the empty glass on the bedside table. “We missed you.”

He looks at Diana. She seems less pleased at his presence, but there is a tenuous curiosity; Elliot’s said something to her, done something, but there’s no reeking floral scent of Bliss, and there’s clarity in both of their eyes. No games here, he thinks, even as he tentatively crosses the distance between the doorway and the foot of the bed.

“Did you, now?” John asks, shrugging out of his jacket.

“One of us, anyway,” Diana says, the bite in her voice not at all lessened by the humidity of the room.

His wife smiles at him, and she tilts Diana’s face towards hers and kisses her—long and languid and open-mouthed, and he watches her pearly teeth dig into the deputy’s lower lip. A rebuke. She’s done it to him plenty of times; seeing her do it to Diana spikes something wretched and desirous in him.

Against the brunette’s mouth, Elliot says, “Don’t be cruel, honey. John’s been working hard.”

She beckons John with a crook of her fingers, and of course, he obeys, slides onto the bed and lets Elliot hook her fingers into the front of his shirt so that she can undo the first few buttons.

“Diana’s been working hard, too,” Elliot murmurs. “But we’re going to take care of her, aren’t we?” She looks at Diana, lips kiss-reddened and gaze hungry—and he can tell that the deputy’s in a mood, like maybe she can’t quite get the taste of blood out of her mouth, and he likes it. “Do you want that, baby?”

The brunette’s eyes flutter. She swallows thickly, hesitating. “I—” Diana begins, and she looks like she wants to say yes but that stubborn, obstinate nature of hers, purposefully obtuse for the sake of raking up his ire, is rearing its head.

“John.” His wife’s voice is saccharine. She moves lithely, sitting behind Diana, letting the brunette lean back against her a little. “Are you going to show the deputy how nice we can be?”

His chest is pleasantly tight, at the vision of them—his vipers, perfectly entangled, eyes fixed on him. Not so much an interloper, anymore.

John leans in, tilting Diana’s chin up; there’s a second of hesitation where he thinks maybe she’s going to balk, throw nails and teeth to get out from between them, but Elliot grazes her mouth along the brunette’s neck and purrs, “Let us take care of you,” and the brunette’s body relaxes, just a little, just that much where he can lean in and kiss her.

And kiss her, and kiss her, in a way that he’s never been able to before. Luxuriating in it. Tasting the ash and blood and red wine in her mouth, and liking it.

“So good,” he hears Elliot praise silkily, when their kiss breaks. “We have the loveliest little viper, baby.”

“Yes,” John agrees, and his voice is rough as it comes out of him, the electricity palpable. “We certainly do.”

Diana watches him for a moment, her fingers knotted in Elliot’s hair, before she leans forward and captures his mouth in a kiss more punishing than the last, with more teeth and heat; he can hear his wife sighing delightedly into the brunette’s skin, and for the first time, it feels most apt to say we have and not you have.

Ours, John thinks, mind fuzzing pleasantly in the static aftershock of Diana’s kiss.

Our little viper.

#my writing #tomexraider #otp: the unholy trinity #baaaaabies #i loooooooooooove them #they live rent free in my head 24/7 #working with their weird little dynamic is challenging but SO FUN #also #jess I WAS GONNA HAVE YOU PROOF THIS BUT I WENT WILD AND IMPULSIVELY POSTED #I HOPE IT'S OK #writing prompts #shallow-gravy

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nadineeb · 4 years ago

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Hey, it’s Nadine and this is my first blog!

Welcome my dear readers to my first blog post! I want to extend my arms to all of you for reading this blog and the future ones. I’m delighted that I found this platform on the internet which makes me give a stand and voice on things that matters to me and the people around me. All the blogs that I will post here at Tumblr are only my thoughts and opinions. If we don’t have the same stand regarding a matter, feel free to exit. I believe that we all have the right to express ourselves with utmost freedom we can have. I hope we all vibe together. -XOXO, Nads <3

Allow me to introduce myself to the blogging world!

I’m Bernadine Bayangos, a teen from a small town in Isabela, Philippines.

A LOT of people I met outside Region 2 and in the upper part of Luzon, they always tell me “Where is that place?” or sometimes, “Isa - what?? I haven’t heard of it before! It really is a place huh?”. Hearing these things I don’t know how to react to be honest.

Most of the time I try to explain where it is but sometimes, I just shrugged them off because some of the people especially those I met who came from well-known cities offend me. They ask me if we got a mall here or just the random, common sense questions.

Let me tell you, yes, we’ve got malls here where we get our stuff from our day to day living. I felt so lucky that we still have to shop at the farmers’ market. It’s available and open anytime of the day. We can find cheap-priced things and foods that are essential to our daily lives. Some grocery store-bought vegetables cost a fortune unlike in the farmers’ markets.

Well as for clothes, I usually go to Manila every month but since it’s locked down, I order online. The Internet + my love for clothes really make a huge difference especially now that we’re locked down in our areas and can’t travel that far.

I grew up with my family and some extended relatives which are way older than me - my grandparents. I learn my instincts from them - self-defense, way of life, how to be smart, and most importantly, my virtues. That’s also explains why I’m a bit talkative.

I want my Tumblr to be my avenue to express things to others which I cannot do since face to face chatting with your dear friends is not really advisable at this moment.

One of my favorite things to do back then and now, is to read books. I can remember when I was like 6 to 12 years old, when we go to Manila, I could never go back here in the province without the 4 big bags of books and school supplies that I bought from a famous bookstore. Thinking of it now, I quite made my dad go broke. Yikes!

Feeding my love for learning, I’m always a girl that is curious about a lot of things. If I’m not satisfied, I will surely ask about it. Though now, that I’ve grown so much, I refrain myself from asking now that I can solve issues that affects me.

I also love travelling! When I’m somewhere near the ocean or the mountains, I feel that I’m at peace. Not much of a city girl, that I’m tired of being it since then. My favorite place to visit here in the Ph is Cagayan de Oro and its nearby towns. The Dahilayan Adventure Park which has the longest zipline in Asia. You can also visit the Del Monte pineapple plantations and see acres of pineapples while eating a medium-rare steak at their restaurant. If you’re also fond of adventures in line with having to see the beauty of nature, I highly suggest to visit this place!

The people, they are heartwarmingly hospitable. In the hotel we stayed, Limketkai Luxe hotel, the accommodation was amazing. Also, I love to stay there every time because when mom and dad leave me for meetings, there’s a backdoor and an overpass which leads to the entrance of the shopping mall. How I miss!

Cagayan de Oro also holds a special place in my heart because as what I’ve said earlier, I’m fond of reading books whether it is online or a hard copy one. I’ve read the Montefalco Series on Wattpad by Jonaxx, the author, I’ve fallen in love with the place immediately. I feel like one of the main characters whenever I go to CDO.

When I travel I always tend to adapt to the cultures of the place I’m going. It’s a sign of respect to the. Being able to mix in with the crowd is a great advantage for me in the future especially that after I finish my studies, I want to go abroad to master my skills. That’s why I’m always day-dreaming at things that may be going on for the next few years of my life.

After 10 years, I will be 26 by then, I suppose I’m with my family in Australia by then. I’m working as a business associate while studying law at one of the prestigious schools in Victoria. From then, I can continue to work at the Parliament of Australia in Melbourne. I may still be single by that time, busy building my career, and play with my cats at home after a stressful day.

This is me at the Parliament.

Let’s talk about the 2019 Corona Virus disease that had struck our world last months. I can say that it’s getting a lot worse that I had imagined. I know that our scientists have done great work in finding solutions to this. Money isn’t everything once you’ve get a hit by this virus. I myself can prove that.

I have this auntie who is a doctor and she’s very successful in her field. She even had one of the biggest shares at a hospital but then things got out of hand, she had the disease. There’s nothing she can do except to lie down her bed, get better, fight for it so that once she gets better, she can continue curing her patients.

My grandfather’s cousin, a former senator of the Philippines, also died from this virus. I’m proud to think that he had served our country well, but I’m devastated that he had to die this way, I didn’t even saw his last moments nor his dead body. He is immediately cremated and left the hospital bill with millions of pesos.

This shows that even the strongest person, the most kind, the rich, the nobody – can’t get away if we all are not taking care of our own health. We should love our body more! Think about ourselves more!

Before this pandemic, I did not have this realizations yet. I realized that more than taking care of our body, we should express to our loved ones how we care and love them dearly. We never know when death comes our way. Yes, we do know that we can’t escape it but the thing is, we know that it’ll happen and we can’t accept the fact the God will take them soon. I think that’s the problem, we, people, tend to just shrug it off and don’t make the best out of someone that we love because they will stay, what we can’t accept is that they will stay but not forever. That is why we have regrets.

(one of my best times before this outbreak)

Indeed, life is short as they say. If you’re dealing with your what ifs’ I recommend you don’t. Just make it happen. If you don’t, you’ll spend your life thinking about that `what if’s’ it’ll only make your life nonsense. So for me, I’d rather do it. If it fails, stand up again, fix yourself, and go on. Instead of letting yourself not doing it because of what might happen on the way. Your happiness depends on you. Choose it. Don’t wait for the things to happen right before your eyes. Act on it and make it happen.

My first blog is a bit long now and I’m getting emotional, I’ll have to say goodbye for now. I’ll see you on my next one. Ciao!

#firstblog

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etherealwaifgoddess · 4 years ago

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Memories

Characters: Steve Rogers

Summary: Steve thought he could outsmart the soul stone to get Natasha and Gamora back. He should have known better.

Content Warning: Heavy angst and Steve pulling a repeat of the stunt he pulled with the Valkyrie. I still feel like an asshole for writing this.

Word Count: 1.8k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies. Please don’t hate me for this one. I’m still bitter AF over how Endgame played out for Steve and an evil little part of my mind conjured this up as an alternative. Which honestly, is kinda worse than what the Russo’s did. Sooo... whoops? If you’re here for some Steve angst, saddle up. If you need fluff in your life, maybe check out one of my other Steve fics, mmkay? I’ll be here for virtual hugs when it’s over, lovelies! XOXO - Ash

Memories

The twilight rays from Vormir’s dying sun cast a haunting glow over the barren wasteland. Steve looked off into the distance, his mind quiet for once. He’d made his decision before he left to return the stones, he couldn’t go to Vormir without at least trying to get Natasha and Gamora back. Steve had done a little poking around, some seemingly innocuous hypotheticals, trying to figure out a way to return the stone and bring one of his best friends back from the dead. Natasha shouldn’t have had to sacrifice her future for theirs. They didn’t trade lives. Except, Steve thought, when it was his own.

Steve had found a grim satisfaction that his old nemesis was trapped for eternity in such a desolate place. It was close enough to what Steve thought Hell might be that it seemed like a fitting end for a monster like Johann Schmidt. He had only seen the man briefly as he hurried into the shadows but Steve knew exactly who he was.

Looking down at the glowing orange stone in his palm, Steve sighed. It was his last stone to put back and he figured it would all be worthwhile if it worked. Natasha and Gamora would get to return home to their friends and loved ones, and he would finally be at peace. He’d almost stayed back in 1948 with Peggy, it had been a close thing, but in the end he knew she went on to have an amazing life that he wasn’t destined to be a part of. He would always love her, and he would cherish his memories of her for the rest of his days, but it just wasn’t meant to be. So Steve got his long overdue dance and wished Peggy all the best in life before hopping forward through the decades to his last stop, 2014 - Vormir.

It was because of Peggy and all that he’d been through that Steve was uniquely qualified for his last mission. Leaving Peggy to the life she was meant to have, left Steve with nothing else to lose. He was a man out of time, destined to forever feel like a stranger in his own modern life. He couldn’t think of a single thing that he could sacrifice to the cliffs of Vormir, and that was why he would be the perfect person to carry out the exchange. He set his wristband and the remaining Pym particles on top of a white envelope on a nearby rock, the envelope containing a letter saying goodbye and explaining how to get back to 2023 should Natasha not remember. He’d planned it all out for so long, he ran through his checklist like a mantra.

Steve pulled out his compass, wanting to see Peggy’s face one last time before it was all over. If only the world had been different, maybe things between them could have been different too. His mental checklist complete, Steve knew it was time. With no unnecessary flair or delay, Steve took four long strides to the edge of the cliff, and then over. His last thought was that falling off the cliff felt almost exactly like going down in the Valkyrie. There was a peaceful sort of deja vu to it and Steve found a smile tugging at his lips as he collided with hard stone. The world went black.

xxXxx

The sky was glowing red and pink, casting purple shadows over the shallow lake Steve woke up in. He sighed, defeated, realizing he’d failed. Natasha and Gamora were nowhere to be found and the damnable glowing orange stone sat in his hand like a beacon. Steve whipped out his compass to help locate where he was in relation to the cliff, squinting in the dim light to see the dials. Figuring out where he was, he snapped it shut, tucking the old compass back into his pocket and heading north.

“I am surprised to see you again, Captain Rogers.” Schmidt hissed from behind a pillar of rock. He had been slithering around, wraith-like, since Steve arrived atop the cliff for the second time.

“You and me both.” Steve grit out, frustrated by his complete failure. Schmidt laughed, a high pitched, crazed sound, and Steve snapped, “What?” he demanded, “Enjoying my failure?”

“What failure? You completed your sacrifice, the stone is now yours to wield.”

“What sacrifice? There’s nothing I love to sacrifice. That was the whole point.” Steve huffed.

Schmidt chuckled again, “You always were deluded, Captain.”

Steve swore under his breath, storming off. He couldn’t deal with Schmit’s nonsense on top of everything else. He gathered up his wristband, tucked the letter in his pocket, and activated the particles to get him home.

xxXxx

“It’s good to see you back in one piece, pal.” Bucky said, clapping Steve on the shoulder.

“Thanks, Buck. It’s good to be back.” Steve leaned in to hug his best friend.

Bruce joined them, still uneasy about the whole thing. “Did everything go as planned?” he asked nervously.

“Yep,” Steve nodded, “Not a hitch.” He certainly wasn’t going to admit his failure to his friends, not when that would have included having to explain his second failed attempt to sacrifice his life for the greater good.

“Glad to hear it.” Bruce told him, finally breathing a sigh of relief. He collected the wristband from Steve and then hustled back to start shutting down the time travel launch pad.

“How was it going back to our time? Did you finally get that dance like you’d hoped?” Bucky asked him as they walked back to the car.

“It was nice being back in the Brooklyn I’m used to. No dance though, I never did have any luck with the dames. Not enough time while I was there anyway.” Steve shook his head with a chuckle.

“Really?” Bucky stared in disbelief, “I thought the first thing you would have done after returning the stone would be to track down Peggy.”

“Peggy who? Was that Dot’s sister? The redhead you were always setting me up with?”

“Peggy, Steve.” Bucky drew her name out slowly for emphasis.

Steve shook his head, “Not ringing a bell, Buck. Now, what are we doing for dinner? I’m starving. Didn’t have any free time to grab a bite while I was running around time and space, and it feels like it’s been days since I’ve eaten.”

“Steve,” Bucky changed tactics cautiously, “Can I see your compass for a sec?”

“Sure thing.” Steve pulled out the black metal disc and tossed it to Bucky. “I think we’ll find our way to Burger King faster with GPS though.”

Bucky stopped mid-step, staring at the old black compass. It was familiar but also, not. On one side of the interior were the dials and white face he knew like the back of his hand, but on the other side was glossy black metal where the face of one Margaret “Peggy” Carter used to be.

“Steve, what happened while you were putting back the stones?” Bucky asked, his voice low and commanding. His tone had Steve pausing and turning back to face him. Steve knew that tone, it was the same one Bucky had used when they caught Jimmy Tammlin pocketing candy at Mr. O’Malley’s shop. They’d known what he’d done, but needed to hear him admit it.

Steve sighed, rubbing a large palm across the back of his neck. “I put the stones back and came home.”

“Bullshit,” Bucky grabbed Steve’s wrist, lightning quick, and started dragging him across the yard away from the car. “Bull-fucking-shit, Steve. You changed something, you stubborn asshole. I don’t know what you did, and clearly you don’t remember it, but we’re gonna have to figure out what it was and what other damage you may have caused.”

Bruce heard Bucky calling his name as they got closer to Pepper and Morgan’s house. The look on Bucky’s face was all Bruce needed to know that the mission hadn’t gone off without a hitch after all.

xxXxx

It took three days of tests and repetitive questions, of Bruce and Bucky taking turns grilling Steve about every single moment of his time travels. Steve did finally admit to walking off the cliff in Vormir, knowing it was inevitable. Bucky had stormed out at that point to god only knows where. When he came back halfway through the following day he looked ragged but significantly calmer. Sam accompanied him upon his return, looking equally ragged but supportive. He was never more than a few steps from Bucky’s side, occasionally leaning into whisper something to the brunette that would have him nodding and taking a steadying breath. Steve felt awful he had caused everyone so much distress but as he kept telling them, if it had brought Natasha and Gamora back it would have been for the best.

By the end of the third day Bruce seemed to have figured something out, though it still didn’t make any sense to Steve. They told him it was fine, no further damage had been caused, and let him go back to his hotel room on his own. Steve sensed something was up but if they weren’t concerned enough to tell him, it wasn’t worth worrying himself over. The battle was over, at least for what he hoped would be a while, and Steve needed to get back to New York and start putting the pieces of his new life back together. Again. It was far from the first time, but Steve hoped that maybe it would be the last.

“No one tells him, ever.” Bucky demanded after Steve left the lab and was far enough away not to overhear them.

“I’m not entirely comfortable with…” Bruce whined lightly.

Sam shook his head, unable to believe he was about to agree. “Bucky’s right. We’ll tell the others, make sure no one says anything. Though mentioning her to him doesn’t seem to stick, so it’s not like if someone says something that it’ll matter.”

Bucky nodded, gesturing at Sam as proof. “See! All we’d be doing is hurting him. And that man has had enough hurting for five lifetimes. No. One. Tells. Him. Agreed?”

Bruce hung his head in defeat. “Okay, he never finds out.”

Sam nodded solemnly, knowing it wasn’t the best option but the only one they had.

Bucky stormed out, his heart aching for his best friend. He couldn’t really be surprised, Steve always had always been a self sacrificing little shit. He should have known better than to try to outsmart the stones. And now, because of that, they had taken the very last bit of love Steve had in his life: his memories.

#steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers fanfic #captain america fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america fanfiction #steve rogers centric #angst #heavy angst #all the feels #post endgame #marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #i still feel like an asshole for writing this fic

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charmed-asylum · 5 years ago

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🔪Midnight Desire🔪

Midnight Desire, part one

Summery: A group of seniors simple night of drinking and partying at their local grocery store. Turns for the worst when they realize they are lock in with something far more dangerous then they ever imagine

Declaimer: Midnight Desire has a few curse words and hints at some abuse. This is my very first story I am posting onto tumblr so please be kind give it a glance. Also my sweet lovers I do have dyslexia so for me to jump the head 1st and do this is a big deal for grammar might be a bit off. I promise you a good ride from beginning to end. So buckle up and enjoy the ride. - xoxo Charmed- Asylum

tagged: @weapinggwillowss @strangerfictions

wanna be tagged let me know. wanna tell me i suck heck let me know.

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Fire alarm sound police sirens heard off in the distance. The noise of such importance however is muffed from the sound of a soft cry, crying for help . Nothing can break this cry , it plead can break glass hurt even the biggest monsters. Where is this cry comes from this dark cool winter night. As the cry becomes loud so loud that it more a scream a bloody hand comes out of a chained cellar door.

24 Hours Earlier

Beep beep. A hand lounges out the bed and press the snooze button, old Hello Kitty stickers cover, alarm clock. Slowly getting up. A young girl around 16 with golden brown beginning of October soft skin with matching midnight sky eyes and short curly golden honey brown hair that came up to her chin.While she could ever tell from looking into a mirror her beauty would make anyone want to stop and give a second glance. A few minutes she mumble into the pillow. As the time slowly past she finally decide to get up. Her eyes were closed as she slumped forward still in deep sleep went across the hall to the bathroom. Another girl tall with fair skin long store bought blonde hair about 18 came from behind and rushes into the bathroom before other girl can realize what was happening. Slammed the door in her face. Upset. The girl starts knocking on the door full of rage.

" Cora come on. I got up first. Let me in! You take forever" she said banging at the door with all her might .

An older man in his late 40s advantage build with ash brown hair came from behind and quietly watch the young girl in her old Queens T shirt attacking the door like a punching bag. A smirk appears . Music start blasting from inside the bathroom.

" Good morning, sweetie. Don’t worry just come use our bathroom. Mom done and I just need to finish getting dressed Jolie" the man says smiling at her with his hand gently place on upper backside. Looking back at the door pissed she kicks the door one last time as hard as she could and follows him to the other bathroom. As she closed the door to get ready she sees him sitting on the bed in a still daze just looking at her with a jester grind. She glanced back at herself she never felt pretty even though her mom told her time and again she was. She had freckles across face that was a bit closer to her long lashes that blink across she never worn makeup so her face remain bare. She always wishes she had more of Cora beauty the ones some girls are born with ones that everyone has a picture of ones that they use to paint a picture or create another barbie after. Her hair drop in front of her face. Ripped jeans that sits slightly below her waist that went with Velvet Underground t shirt that drop over her mom old denim jacket. Satisfied with what she was wearing she decided it was best to face the music and start her day. She peak around before walking out ready to get another day over with.

" Jolie how was your sleep last night" her mom asked. She was a bit younger than the man with a face that belongs in a museum by itself. With tired eyes she came over and kiss Jolie on the forehead. Smiling at her. Jolie says nothing and grab a piece of bacon and sit down on a wooden stool by the kitchen.

The older girl skips down the stairs, pushing into Jolie causing her to spill her orange juice. Jolie looks up at the girl then starts to pick up the broken glass. The man comes from behind her holds her back gently for a minute before helping with broken glass. Looking up with eyes that burn with a blue fire.

" Cora it's been almost a year. You need to stop acting like a fucking baby. Be nice to Jolie she your baby sister " he says firmly.

Cora rolls her eyes and smirks at him. " Not my fault the loser. Does not pay attention to me or her surrounds. It’s stepsister by the way we are not related" Cora said while taking a bite out of an apple. Jolie gets up and throw the rest of broken glass in the trash. " Thanks. But it's fine. Mom how are you this morning. Take your pills" Jolie said pretending Cora said nothing.

A gentle kiddish like laugh left her mom small plump lips as played with her curls between her white manicure nails. Kissing her cheek as she walked passed her. " I'm fine. Jojo Stop worrying about me. I’m the sick one not you. You need to be like your sister and start….. You not always guaranteed a tomorrow, Jolie Wellstone" she stops and looks at Cora putting makeup on. " You need to socialize not staying here. Maybe you should do something with Cora" she says looking at Jolie as she drinking a cup of hot green tea.

Jo glance at Cora as she finished her face. Thinking of other things she wants to do then do that. So far her list has living the zombie apocalypse and eating vegan food.

A car outside honk, BEEP. Not missing a beat ,Cora excited to end this charade bounces up and rushes for the door. Jo watched Cora from the window to get a better look outside to the red convertible. A guy that looks like he came out every cliche John Hughes movie was driving while another guy was in the back smoking weed. Cora hops in the front and the guy grabs at her perfect 40C boobs and starting to make out with her before driving off. God I hate it here Looking back at the stock photo picture perfect couple she slug back into the chair and plays with her tea bag with her spoon. The man watches her as she slipped into her own thoughts then looks at mom concern.

" Richard being so good to us. I know you understand but. ...Eventually he and Cora will be your family, Jojo. She like us not used to this. You just need to find something" mom says holding Richard hand tight. She hated when her mom use her name worst when she used her nickname. Jo looks at him then looks away back at her cup.

" I try on the behalf of the both of us, mom. It's been some really good months here. Don't want you ups..." a bus horn beeps. Saved by the bell she thought to herself.

Grabbing her bag and lunch she kiss both of them on the forehead and goes out to start her day. She was glad to leave she hated lying to her. But knowing mom she knows she already knows she always know Jo thought to herself.

The bus is basically a collection of the body snatchers. It was an oddball of folks. The bus crew. Jolie was nothing like Cora at less not here. She was lonely and no one could give two cents who, Jolie Wellstone was. Best way she found herself making sense of this feeling was like her birthday, it is a month that millions others she share with but don't know. Weird way of thinking yes. But that's how she was brought up how her mom and dad taught her to be like. Only other group she talks was groups she put with because of class. This week Ivy, Kyle, Robinson.

School for Jolie was different since she moved . She use to jump early before the alarm go talk to her many friends give everyone a smile and high five in the hallways. She wasn't alone but ever since Richard came into her and her moms life it all she knew now. She use to be more than just a piece of space moving from classroom to classroom. Now and days Jo basically rush to class answer the questions the teacher asks right in her head. Only once she got it wrong 5th grade health class,the human brain can read up to 1,000 words per minute .

Lunch use to be full with laughter as she made her friends spill their milk and juice out there noise or she talk up anyone with a smile to sign her newest protest of the week. Now lunch was a time she spent by herself in the bathroom or on brave days outside by the basketball courts. She like it there because eight of ten times she would see Garrett . Nothing more then her high school crush. He had a surfer tan that was just perfect even though it was never above 60 degrees 6’5 tall glass of yummy with matching gorgeous summer sky blue eyes and a voice that all alone made you explode. You all had one why not to him she always says as she goes through his iBook page . Checking like it was a daily ritual. Still single. Thank you baby Jesus yes.

They had four classes together including lunch. He was older but same age as Cora,18. Four had became her magic number so far. 4. Four on the amount of times they talk or was close. First day bump into him , put on his team in gym, ask for a pen, and passing English Lit chapter 7 test to him. While Jo was a sophomore she had all senior classes. Something she hated until she saw Garrett for the first time.

Jo was a loner and sadly he was too. However, for him it was by choice. He was better at hiding it but she knew even though they never really talk outside of those four times in her months of being stuck in this hellhole. Her Winston to her Holmes. Her moon to her stars. That magic number would be something of the past after today. Today was different. It was the second to last class study hall in the library, also with Garrett and one of her favorite class. What can ever be better than reading books, doing homework, and looking at Garrett as he had his feet kicked up on the table smoking a cigarette playing with his lighter and no care.

Jo was simply looking at the black and white checkered floor walking to class when she saw Fred, Mr. John Hughes and Farrah making out, Cora’s bestie and boyfriend. She knew she should've left but she couldn't help herself but get a quick look and see. Creeping in the shadows like a ninja. Part of her wanted to watch see what was happening out of concern. She might of had a very strong dislike of Cora , still cared. Wasn’t that she hated her just there were a lot of things she would hope happen before she admit it. Going down the list like starve to death or god forbid not be able to see her mom, or Garrett again. The root to all her evils. Caring about others before herself. The bell rings. Being late or being caught. Very hard decision Jo turns around and bumps right into Fred . Caught red hand.

She grabbed her things tried to make a break for it. Fred being Mr. I’m a meathead and press 450 easy was able to stop her in no time.

" Macy right your Cora new step sister" he says holding onto Jo bag strap. Looking at up into his storm gray eyes Jo nods.

" It's kinda not Macy though but that's fine " Jo says trying not to stress sweat. She never spoke to him she got a few looks from his when he would pick or drop Cora off. Or when he came by one of the first days she and her mom move here and Richard had a little barbecue for them. He does not say a word just brings himself close to her still holding onto her bag.His eyes could turn her to stone that how intense it felt What was going on between the two was nothing close to any good tension but more like they were about to have a staring contest. He looks her once over and smile.

" I actually was worried seeing you watching me until I realize who you are, Macy. Did it turn you on watching me.Like the little holy mary virgin you are ” he stops and twist her curl that dropped down into her face with his finger “That was her doing . I stop it as soon as it started to happen. So no word right " he says in a very very serious but creepy tone his finger still twisting her curl.

Feeling her ten seconds was up Jo nod and bolted to class without a word. Busting right into Garrett strong define chest, he held tight to her small figure a bit tight as she almost fell. He glanced back to where she came from then back down at her. That one touch almost sent her sent her places she only went to when she was alone in her room or in her dreams. She bit corner of her bottom left side of her lip as she mouth sorry and ran off embarrassed.

After that touch by heaven moment Jo spent the rest of her day hiding from the world. She even decided to walk the 12 minutes walk home in hops she would not bump into Fred or Garrett. Today word be bad luck Jo Jo she said to herself as she continued her walk home. The name her dad use to call her. Everyone can call her Jolie even Jo but no one but him use to call her Jo Jo that was his and his alone.

Her Mom came home from work 5 ish beat. Just in time for their alone time, watching the news and Family Feud for an hour or so. Then by 7 she would play house wife for Richard. Something she never did before.

" It's Friday .Do you have any plans? Me and Ricky are going to the doctors then a party. Fun uh. What abo-..." her convention was interrupted by the Cora and Richard arguing in the next room.

Which for some reason still gets her startled but for Jo it was the new normal. She and her mom never was as vocal as they was but after the fifth scream match it shock value lesson . Cora lungs her bag on the floor and stomps up stairs. Richard loosens his tie and un bottom a few bottoms from his shirt walk into the living room, where Jo and mom was at. Watching the real Family Feud in front of them. Kissing both of them on the forehead. He pushes his way between Jo and her mom putting one arm tight around Jo shoulder. And like a switch of the light her mom got up to mostly likely continue her housewife duties. Jo never understand why she did it. She never did that before but she was young. She could not remember how much time past when Richard stop talking to her and they got up to do something.

She had to get away from him as far as she could. Walking pass Cora’s bedroom door. She peeks in like the weirdo she is to see if Cora was hot gluing her face on. Covering the evil witch that she was. Why a witch easy because she can make everyone foul that she actually nice. Nope. Just on the phone talking. As she started to walk pass. She stops and turns around back into the lion dean.

"Cora we need to talk" she said blunty. Why What uh. The simple thoughts started flashing in her mind. Cora chewing on gum rolls her eyes and continue to talk on the phone as if Jolie said nothing. Same thing she did earlier.

" I lost my dad just like you lost your mom and brother only difference is you still have time with your dad. I lost mine young and found out I'm losing my mom all” Jo stops and looks away hiding her tears" I found out the same time….. You stay here. I left my life. I'm going to be stuck here. You got lucky always lucky. You leave in a few months. Everyday I'm alone. Because at the end of the day. I got the dang short stick. Never nothing I want. You might hate me well I do sometimes too. But I still care about you and... Richard, always will. Just like my mom does. Can you at least fake it. Then when she gone you can go back to whatever this is" Jo stops. She hated talking about any of this. Her father, mom, the future, her path. But she was tired of it. Sick. Jolie decides not to wait for Cora response. Not this time. Later maybe but not now. Also she had to pee.

Dinner was as normal as abnormal it always was. Eating her corn, " So dad. Can I get a 50 I’m going out with the squad to" Cora starts to say to Richard.

Richard devouring his stake looks at her then at mom. " No way. It's dinner time. Family time. Your n" he starts to say cutting Cora off. Mom feeling and seeing the same overdone clip cuts in.

" Honey..... so Cora what are you plans with your gang " she says trying to sound hip. Jo looks at her and smiles at herself. There it goes. There where I got all my social traits from. Richard was of course was talking to himself attack the stake. Which from the look of it the plate was really the loser. Poor plate.

Cora mad looks at Jo. " Daddy. Me and lo- Jolie talk. She new and being such a nice person I am I bringing her to the homecoming game then to the movies afterwards. Starting a new leaf. Which is why I need the money daddo. Also we will be back by 2 ish" Cora says looking at Jo. Smart move using the socially awkward girl to get what you want Jo thought to herself as she looked down at her food.

Mom excited smiles. "Really oh my shit balls. I’m so gosh darn happy. See Jolie. Of course. Your dad be glad to. Ricky. It gives us some alone time,after the party. HUH . Give Jo some money. And Jo remember the rules. And 1 am Cora. No more than that not even a second" mom says getting up grabbing her plate. What about board game night we was gonna play Trouble she thought to myself watching her mom getting all the dirty plates. Richard smile and waits till mom leaves.

" Cora, don't do ANYTHING to hurt her. Only reason you're going is her" he says gulping rest of his Budweiser. Cora smirks at his threat and rolls her eyes and looks at Jo.

"They are like so gonna be here soon. REMEMBER so hurry up....and don't forget the cash" Cora says with a plastic Barbie smile and storms off. Jo slowly looks at Richard still gulping down rest of his Budweiser. As she starts to leave Richard grab tight to Jo tiny wrist. " Have fun. Baby . This night ...will be one you will never forget. Here. Take the money. Tell the coach I said hi" he says to Jo with a smooth demeanor one he did not have seconds ago . Numb by the feeling. Jo simply smiles and leave.

She fumbles up to grab her things. Nothing much: her keys or janitor as she calls it, her wallet, lighter for Cora because she always losing hers and asking. A few books no less than three. Two normal and a color book. Pens and markers. Gum. Tissues. And charger. All stuff with way to much more crap in her old backpack cover in bumper stickers and buttons.

Mom was down stairs taking pictures like it was a senior prom. Memory She always said before she would go over overboard with it. Ok not this time but for the most of the time. She goes over over board. Cora was enjoying every second of it. Posing and laughing like she was going to be cover of Seventeen .

" Come down Jolie two pictures that's all then you can go " mom says. Jo stand by Cora and waited. click click. And one selfie of all three on mom's phone. Simple kiss on the check and wait let me email this to you Jolie second. Mom hold her close. “Thanks Jolie. We both need this. Love You sweetie” she said then wave goodbye. Jo hold her tight and whisper I love you before leaving.

Cora was more than excited minus Jo was coming. In the car were the same three people as this morning . Jo walks slowly behind her nervous praying to baby Jesus. There was no one drunk and or cops would pull them over because of drunken foul . Newspaper reads poor loser dies when mom force her to socialize with others

" Hey dumb shit let's go" Cora says sitting in the passenger seat. Jo looks back and wave goodbye once more. “ You won't believe how I got out. This space cake actually help me. And got cash. Was able to even score more than what I ask. Gonna have to bring my little pet often" Cora says laughing putting more of blood red lipstick on. A boy with a bad case of twitch looks at Jo like a glass of water in the desert.

" So you visiting or something"he says looking at Jo.

" No actually I been living her with Cora for months now. Hi name Jolie but you can call me Jo ” Jo says trying not to give off the you smell like yucky weed face. He smiles and look at the girl sitting next to him, Farrah aka bestie who made out with you know who. She had black hair blue eyes look as perfect as Cora did. Cora gets up from her seat and turn around. " Does anyone have like cigs or liquor on them. Babysitting lil dumbo here. Forgot to grab out daddy stash" Cora said.

Jo look at everyone as no one offer her anything. " I got pop and some matches" says like a silly head. The boy deadpans her then starts to bust out laughing. Pointing at her crying like he was Banzai from the Lion King .

" I....I....I..Oh I like her. What is she like 2 and retarded. Pop and....and matches" he says giggling to himself. Fred turns around and curse at himself. " How we gonna have fun at a game with no fucking stuff" he says. Cora looks and whispers to him.Fred looks out to the road and makes a sharp turns around.

After a few minutes pass. They pull up to an old grocery market in the center of the town. It late, deserted. Snow was falling gently like the beginning of a Christmas movie. Something that caught Jo eye so she did not realize it at first what was happening. Fred exchanges some looks at everyone and grab a flashlight got out and started to walk towards the store. Follow by Farrah and Lex, the boy that was differently high. Cora was left behind checking herself once again. Jo rocking back and forth.

" Cora Cora we made a wrong turn. We are not by the school anymore. What are we doing here. Mom and Richard are going to be worried. What happens if they stop by and we are not there…. Lord cheese crackers. That's it I’m texting her" Jo says stumbling around her bag freaking out. Cora making a fish look glancing in the mirror to see Jo still looking for her phone.

" So you want to look and act like a baby. Baby. Well congrats you are top of that list. Hey stop. We already heard the game gonna suck. Like we are gonna win and blah blah. Same thing every year. We already made new plans before we left. So either you suck it up and come in or stay out here in the cold till we come back"she says getting up and leaving Jo speechless.

Jo watched as Cora catwalk in the store in the freezing cold in her high heels and small pink Michcal Kors jacket . Her phone in her hand she starts to text her mom. She stops mid way texting her mom to see the pictures from earlier her mom sent her. A long struggle Cora put her though. I’m not a baby. Just ... Okay I'm a baby. One that does not mind being the helper and loner. I bet Garrett would thinks that be fine. If he knew me. They playing a joke I just wait out here. I show who a baby Jo whisper to herself looking out to the empty roads. Laying down in the back Jo looks up at the stars. Passing time till they come back out. It was quite. Only thing you could hear was the sound of the lights. Light of the street lights, neon or store lights. Then the cold breeze. Cold very cold breeze. She slowly gets up after a while when she realize she was all alone.

Looking around again. She stops. Fudge It she pouts to herself. Start to walk inside. See what was taking so long. The front of the store was locked . Chains and chains oh wait some more locked chains. Jo tried to look through but she could only see the outline of what looks to be a person. Jo following to the back to see a door with a rock keeping it open.

It looked like it was one of those vintage out a magazine stores. She came with her mom a few times but her mom prefer the one town over more populated and better selections. Following the noise she heard laughter and arguments. Walking closer she sees a figure talking to Fred. Cora lending across closer to Fred but in a mid distance as she was waiting for her call. Farrah and Lex was smoking giggling at each other stupidity. Lex of course was the first to realize they weren't alone anymore. He strung his head to Fred and then he stop giggling.

Screaming from afar it sound like mumbling. Lex closer smiles and says" Cops outside. Girlie" he says chuckling at Jo. Shaking her head no she looks around then back at him .

" Uh....No. Just. No" Jo says.

Fred strugs. " So you finally decided to come in we were betting. I guess we are technically all wrong. Cora and I said never, Lex said ten minutes, Farrah had no faith in you and said a second" Fred stops and laugh. Looking at his watch " 1 hour and 49 minutes. What were you doing ? It's freaking cold as ice breaks out there " Fred says with a devilish grin.

The figure behind them upset throw it hands up rushes off between the allies.

" What is going on is this a joke" Jo says looking at Cora. Cora rolls her eyes " We are seniors in a boring ass hick town. We wanted to do something legendary so why not sneak into the town old ass market and party to dawn. Think of it as a senior prank. Look we did a nice thing. You are our like well witness. The person that gets to spread it around and be the undergrad that was apart of history"Cora says proud of herself.

Jo shock not only by the coldness of emotions but the fact she was even numb by the blow. " I'm not getting in trouble. Why should I....anyway we can get caught. Trouble. I can't do trouble. I am not built for that . NO WAY JOSE I'm out where the nearest bus towards home or taxi" Jo says starting to go back outside looking at my phone for service.

They tried to stop her reason with her best a couple of drunk and high teenagers could do. Fred piss came from behind her grabs her collar of her shirt and pull her back. Jo clumsy stumbles back bumping her head against a rack stack of photo chips .

An Hour Later

Jo woke up still a bit dizzy from the fall ice on her forehead laying on a stack of old Sunday newspaper. She holds the ice closer to the back of her head looks up. Fred was talking to Cora. Cora looks royalty piss like worse then the time Jo accidentally slipped paint on her expense Gucci shoes and Richard had to hold Cora back from killing Jo. Fred look back to see Jo walks to her with Lex.

" Look. Kitten. You would mess up things. We are not doing anything wrong. Party till game ends clean up then leave. No ones out there everything close. So stay here like a good baby . And be grateful we are nice to a loser like you. You got it" he says with a mean tone pointing into her chest. Jo looks at him then glance at everyone else. Nothing. Empty. Still no figure. Jo shakes her head yes. Still feeling the pain with each nod. What could she do say. She was not tough brave. She was a baby.

Cora walk back with the figure. It walked passed everyone till it got to Jo. She could not tell it close arm distance to see who it was. Garrett. Shock and piss. And if Jo was not so dizzy from the hit him coming this close to her would have made pass out from all the excitement in going on in her body. " I can't lose this job. You got till midnight. Then we are FUCKING though. Go get drunk in the parking lot all I care" he says looking back at the group pissed. He stops and glance at Jo. His eyes shift from pissed to concern. Jo shock starts to open her mouth to say something but before anything he leaves once again.

Fred rolls his eyes and brush it off as what's ever. Drunk now he grabs Cora and start to dance with her to Lex mp3 player . They spend some more time drinking and smoking around the store. Jo sat still on the floor, glancing to the back a few times to see if he comes back. After a while she was pulled back into reality and force to dance with Farrah. Who was as slutty as a video vixen. As time passed they either left to explore or grab some munchies aka find somewhere to make out . Jo decided to make the best of things and found a quiet spot closer to the vents with a cool breeze. Reading one of her books in her zone her space. She stops mid paragraph mid word death . There was something cutting her breeze.

" You mine I chill here with you. Everyone hooking up and I'm not in the mood to smoke. Been trying to quite a few months ago the huh the smoking" a voice says. Jo shakes her head no looking at the page. Pain was not as intense but annoying . She looks up to see Garrett standing there. He looks down at you with his drop dead smile and glitter blue eyes piercing back at you. Garrett sits down and looks at the book Jo was reading, " Good book. So much irony. Jo is that your real name" he says still holding the book in his big marvel hands. Jo shakes her head no. Surprise not only he knew her name but it being his first question " Jolie. Its huh Jolie. Most people call me Jo. Before you ask kinda. My dad used to call me Jo Jo. Why" she says trying to default all her butterflies away.

Garrett smiles a bit bigger. He looked away for a second then back to her. She was mesmerized at his face eye darted to his pink lips. GOD THOSE KISS READY LIPS. " Jolie. That's pretty beautiful . Fits you more then Jo. Mind I call you that Jolie not Jo. I seen you around. I think we got classes together. How your head" he says looking up at her head. Jo slowly touches it wincing at the pain.

" Gym, English lit, and something else" he stops he was closer to her and takes her bag while she wasn't paying attention. Smiling with such charm he starts going though. " Running away huh. That never helps anything, Jolie" he says playfully. Jo smiles iffy about the name but he sure changing that" I’m not runway no more. Or at least NOT now. That's to help me remember a reason to stay. Can't believe even you " she says scratching back of her ear. She stops and look at him. Garrett smiles and goes through her bag not fully pay attention.

" Well I’m happy. You would have kept me alone with these drunk horny retards. Dang. Jolie got a lot of stuff. Cool stuff. Wait why the keys and fake tattoos. No nope these must have a story" he says looking through the fake tattoos. Jo smiles. " Dad said more keys you have the more opportunities you have. Now I’m pushing endless. A lot of them it's like endless stories.Ideas” Jo says trying not to blush.

He scoop a bit closer still looking through her things. His dirty blonde hair was the perfect blend of messy with a purpose. Match with a scent that always drove her crazy it was a mixture of lumber wood and sex appeal. She has been close to him but mostly back of his head in class or behind him in gym class. Never out of class never him coming to her. Was it that he was bored and she seems easy. Or was he really put on babysitting duties. She wasn't sure she really wasn't. But for a quick second before it clicks into reality she just decided to enjoy it. Garrett look up to speak, interrupting Jo inner thoughts.

" Don't see any pictures of your boyfriend how come. Or girl-" Jo interrupts him " Boyfriend. BOYS. MEN. I mean I'm single" she says looking at him as he took out a pop and a bag of chips. He glances at her for her approval. Nodding. " My turn. More of a statement. You don't have to baby me. Or whatever they have you doing. And I'm not that type. That take you against some canned food or on the cold ass floor. I'm sure you can understand" Jo said looking at him. He freezes with sour cream and onion flavor chips in his hand and stuff in his mouth. Chewing slowly he just look at her confused . Clearing her throat. " I mean. What about you any special girl in your life" she says cursing at herself for saying something.

He smiles at her with that million dollars just won the lottery smile. " No. But I do have my eye on a girl to be honest. But it complicated. And I sorry. I can imagine what it looks like. Me here. You. But reality is I just feel your more my speed" he stop and look at a have no clue Jo" Sober. Good vibes. Cool" he says drinking some of the pop. She wanted to smile so bad blush even. Text her mom the cool news. Her mom knew from there little talks she had a crush on Garrett. But instead she just said nothing. "So this girl. Why not tell her. What she some cheerleader or something" Jo says trying to hide the bit of jealous for this girl. Garrett struggles and blushed a bit. " No. She actually new here. And she no cheerleader. She way way more fucking prettier them those dust bag. Smarter too. She also a bit younger not much . Not sure she likes a guy like me" he says looking down at the bag of chips.

Jo hated this girl already no name or face but she hated her more than anything. "Hey uh Garrett. As a girl who shares class with you. This girl she be stupid no borderline retarded beyond repair if she doesn't like you... Hey want do something fun out of my bag" she said to him trying to change the subject before she confessed her undying love for him in the middle of a grocery store. He glances up after a long thought. And says yes. They talk a lot more. What they thought of class today. Taste and music. List was endless. She for once did not feel alone or afraid or even flushed by being by this close to Garrett. Instead she felt normal like the girl she used to be before moving here.

Garrett looking at his cool new panda bear with roses and bar wire, " It must be hard. Coming here. Not really belonging anywhere both at school and home. If it makes you feel better it's the same with me, Jolie. I kinda want to confess something" he starts to say. The alarm on his phone went off. Damn he whispered to himself. He looks at Jo sipping on some water listening to his music, Foo Fighters. " Have to do rounds. Want to come with. Also with what Fred did kinda don't want to leave you behind, Jolie" he whispered into her ear. Nodding at the delight of continuing this affairs or the omfg this isn't happening tour. They walked side by side down each row. Jo looking up at him as he talked about the job, his family or the many stories he smile and laugh as he told her.

" Hey tour guide. Do you know if we get a bathroom break. The water getting to me" she said trying to hold her pee. Garrett smiles down at her as she did her pee pee dance. " Sure but I might have to meet stay outside" he says.

He stop by these old metal swinging doors. She looked back and sneak in. Garrett stood watch with his flashlight. The hallway was dark and musty. A few old lights winging from the ceiling. The bathroom was in worse condition. Dirty. Smelly. Something even the best horror novelist couldn't even make up. She lends over and tries to go. The old metal door starts to open. Creek creek. Jo gets up a little to see what it was. Nothing but a shadow. Unsure what to think she turns around for some toilet paper. Footsteps now . Heavy as a meter. Stomping towards her. She froze her hand press on each side of the stall . The footsteps stop in front of her. Jo mouth open a little to slow her breathing. She couldn’t tell whatever it was.She tried to listen to see if someone else was here. Jo slowly put her feet up close to her and lends towards her legs to her chest. A sharp sounds goes across the door. Jo shivering trying not to scream. Froze. Keep it together just a joke she thought. She tilts her head to the side to peak. It was gone. What or who ever wasn't there. She waited a little to make sure it was gone. She opens the door to peak. Nothing. She gulp and rush out as fast she can. Not even a hair or turtle could catch up to her. As the doors swing open. She landed right in Garrett strong arms for the second time and one day . She held him tight her head dodged into his chest. Only thing that stops her for crying was the warm touch he gave as he rubbed her back. But it did not stop the fact she was freaked out by what just happened to her.

" What wrong you ok? " Garrett said still holding her. She said nothing just hold him tight her head on his chest looking down at his sneakers. He looked down at her. Nothing but the head of curls and a silent whimper. Under her breath she says" something was down there with me". He looks up at the door. " We have a lot of rats was what scared you. It's alright shi-" he start to say.

" No a person. A shadow was there. Watching me. I want to go home now" she said still holding him. Using his shirt as a tissue as her tears roll off her face. He shocked his head pissed.

" That bitch ass jerk" he says quietly to himself.

" I bet Fred did this. Does not know when to stop come on let's find him" he says grabbing at her small wrist.

They were all laughing smoking a joint. " You're freaking dead. Now Fred" Garrett says rushing right to Fred forgetting he was still holding Jo wrist. Fred turns at Garrett and Jo then back at everyone else. " What the fuck you talking about" he says laughing at him. Garrett was mad. He glances at Jo who was giving him Bambi eyes then at him. " That real cool. You scared her half to death. She literally came out to me screaming like she saw the fucking devil. Look at her" he says shaking Jo. Jo for the first time look up out of her daze. Fred blows out big poof of smoke at Garrett and Jo. " Really like. Bro you sniffing to many things of white out again . That never happened. Whatever that baby got scared of must of been her own shadow. I was with Farrah checking out the joint. Cora was here with Lex sleeping off the liquor" he says licking his top lip.

Jo looks at Cora who face look puzzled. As if he not saying something. Farrah was standing by Lex fighting something she wanted to say. Jo tug at Garrett shirt. She leaned in close to him on her tippy toes. " Garrett it's fine. Can we just chill it" she said to him then glanced at Farrah and Fred. Garrett still mad makes a mad face then turn to apologize to Fred. Fred piss off walk away with no other than Farrah behind him. Cora upset shakes her head and mouth the words you slut. Hope you choke on a stick. Garrett looks at Jo then walks towards the others with his head down. Cora was now screaming at the top of lungs at Fred.Garrett rushes up to Fred and tries to calm him down as if the last five minutes never happened. Jo looks at Cora storming pass her. Cora was sitting on cashier filing her nails.

" You ok. Cora" Jo said sincerely . Cora looks at her then raises her eyebrow up.

" I'm not stupid. I know that bottom eater is doing. I'm popular duh. But I have my limit. Doing it and being so obvious in front of people. That does it. Twice a day" she says to a puzzled face Jo " I know what you saw today. Damn thing went around faster than a twit. No one thing. May you my witness. Who ever does Cora wrong gets put on the freaking list" she said still filing her nails. Jo look at her then back at Fred. " If you knew why then be with him. There much more guys heck captions then him" she said looking at her. Cora looks at her and then walk away.

Garrett walk right past her to Jo . " Hey Jolie. I need your help. I need to get the key. Thought I had them on me but mines are the wrong ones. Master keys in the office. Door locked everything shut down. Can you stay here. Keep watch. I'm gonna take Lex so nothing happens. He kinda upset" he says looking at Jo.

She glanced at him then shook her head yes. She watched him leave. Placing her hands up above her head she tries to focus. As she started to walk she remembers something. Earlier the figure she saw. Was it something or just her imagination. She had to figure it out. Garrett won't do that . At least she hope not. She had to figure out was it and the one in the bathroom is the same.

Looking at the car Jo then rushes to Fred and Farrah talking.

"Look Freddie. She knows Lex knows why not just be together. We had sex. We make out alot why not" Farrah said trying to touch Fred face. Pushing her hand down he starts to laugh. " Look I’m starting to sober up so let me make this quick because it's kinda sad. You're like an on the street bootleg of a movie. Might think it's a good deal. Because it's cheap and looks like the real deal but always mess up quality and a waste of money. Cheap worthless. Lex told me he only with you because you give it out.Cora a real girl. I have to fight for her. You I smile and give you a second attention and your hook. What? " he says looking at Jo.

Looking back at Cora then at them. " You should at least have the respect and talk to her. I get it. It's a joke. On me. The noises the playing with me when I was in the bathroom. It's not funny. We are already in trouble so let's just go" Jo says. Fred laughs at her then walks towards Cora. Farrah upset starts to walk off. Jo afraid of anyone leaving by themselves follows her.

" Wait wait. It's not safe" Jo says running behind her. There was a creepy creak coming from behind but far enough that even if you tried you could hear it.

" What do you want. Im piss and you're not helping" Farrah says still walking. Jo looks back again. There was the sound again. No one heard it. " Look I don't know is still part of the prank. But I'm over it. I saw you when I was in the car, when I was using the bathroom. You running away now is letting him win. Now if I can put pass the silly nonsense you guys are doing so can you. You deserve better then a descent 3rd division college player that gonna be either back here working at some depressing job if he smart get a bookie to do all his work or a mid wage in some middle state overweight loser. Either way. He not worth it. You're not perfect but you don't deserve to be treated like horse poop" Jo said. She was upset. She was upset that this was happening she really only wanted to be home with her mom. Safe. Nope instead she trying to pump up a you can do the high road to the school slut. Farrah came and raise her hand to slap Jo. " It wasn't a joke. On you. You're not worth it. You're seeing things. We was smoking a joint when we first got inside then we.....we..... we found this weird place. In the back. Fill of old meat and big ass fucking knifes. Some straight A fucking shit. He wants to do it but I couldn’t. So after we play around broke something crap and left" she stopped and started to walk back towards the group. She stops " Thanks. You're actually cool. Cora was wrong" still walking. There was the noise again. The never ending feelings someone calling for you but know no ones behind you. Then that's when it happened. All at once.

They were taken.

#midnight desire #midnight #aesthetic #dark #writeblr #short story #young adult fiction #fiction #suspense #thriller #desire #teenage angst #scary #grunge #girl #2019

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satansagittarius · 5 years ago

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🥠 2020 🥡

Changes:

🥟 I got a 2018 Nissan Sentra that I pay for myself and I can finally go everywhere

🥟 I gambled, I lost, I found myself again

🥟 My confidence is at an all-time high

🥟 I started going on dates for the fun of it when I used to take things too seriously, and it’s been a trip

🥟 I found my inner value of people coming and going, and I have absolutely loved everyone I’ve met in these last months

🥟 I lost a person who I thought would be in my life forever, but it was such a beautiful lesson about what I deserve or wished for, versus what I was actually getting. And even though it hurt to let them go, it’s better for me in the long run to have someone who truly puts effort into my being.

🥬 I realized I was trying to convince myself I am over them and don’t love them, and it was all fake.

🥬 Instead I realized I do love them more than anyone, anything, and it’s okay to love someone and let them go.

🥬 I can always hold them in my heart, but I have to love myself first and know what treatment I deserve. I wish it could’ve been them still every day.

🥬 This sat with me so much better than just ignoring my feelings. I realized it still could be them one day, but I don’t hope for it anymore because way too much would have to change. I instead just leave my heart to heal and be open to any possibility, and my mind to be prepared to evaluate whatever comes next.

🥬 Though I wanted this person to be my person, it seems as though they were a lesson. They taught me so much. They mirrored things I didn’t like about myself, taught me love existed, and also showed me how far I would go for someone I truly love. For example:

⚡️ We were long distance and it didn’t even phase me. I was so convinced we would figure it out, I didn’t mind not having someone physically if I got to fall asleep on the phone with him. Everyone, including him, would tell me to find someone close that could hold me but truth of the matter is is I fall in love with someone for who they are, not their convienence. As long as I fall in love with someone I just need their open, honest, communication and affection.

⚡️ I was willing to hash out any issues, and problems. I always wanted to fix things. In turn, loving someone so much hurts as well. His distance and silence crushed me, and I realized it was just because I wanted all of him and to actually share things / melt with someone else. I’d never felt like that before.

⚡️ Even though I didn’t mind the distance because I love him I realized I loved affection, and would always miss just his touch. I realized when I love someone all the things I miss are person specific, I’m completely devoted.

⚡️ I actually dreamt of a family and marriage and forever, for once! I just know it has to be with the right person.

🥟 I stopped caring what people thought of me, and only do things that make me happy

🥬 This was achieved by being really straight forward with my communication, stopped lying, said “no”, wouldn’t make promises or commitments I can’t keep

🥟 I started calling my mom just to say I love you

🥟 I got into a fist fight with my brother on Christmas which lead us to sit down and him actually listen to what I had to say. He’s started changing his life for the better and I’ve started to lean on him for support.

🥟 My hair is purple and I think that’s how it will stay

🥟 I don’t work at the salon anymore, they fired me for being unreliable when I stood up about not getting paid as much and refusing to cover shifts for the manager anymore. It was such a blessing.

🥟 I have 0 (ZERO!) unread texts, emails, notifications when my screen used to look like hundreds. It was an avoidance thing and sometimes it’s hard but I make myself read, respond, or delete them every morning.

Uncharted Waters

🍡 I failed every single class last semester, and had to own up to my parents. In turn, they loved me and told me I could slow down.

🍡 I don’t like just sitting at home anymore, I’d rather go out and explore and be with people

🍡 I deleted reddit off my phone as I was using it too much to try to explain situations, look at toxic things, etc etc.

🍡 I feel all my feelings now and it feels odd to check myself

🍡 I started owning up and apologizing for the way I’ve hurt people

🍡 I made boundaries for myself and sometimes it’s uncomfortable enacting them

🍡 I’m more quiet now, I don’t talk as much, and I think it’s because I found inner peace that doesn’t need to be fluffed with bullshit or unnecessary explanations on deaf ears

🍡 I found the beauty of humor and authenticity again. Vulnerability and softness, connectedness and honesty. I found the beauty of being as human and honest as can be.

🍋 Even though I’d love to say I’m a completely soft, gentle, being, I’ve also learned to absolutely love my firecracker anger, my excitedness, my loud and obnoxious traits. I’ve learned to appreciate my convictions and needs.

🍡 I truly love myself and am so confident in the way I look, act, and feel. I haven’t ever been like this and it’s crazy

🍋 I found that once I stopped thinking that everyone’s behavior was a direct reflection of my behavior, or my influence, I stopped judging myself and others as harshly. Everyone just needs understanding. And just because you understand, doesn’t mean you accept burning yourself to keep someone warm.

Random Bits

🍳 I took acid on NYE and saw Zeds Dead which made me melt

🍳 My NYE kiss was the first guy I ever really really really dug in college, but he ended up being unemotional so we separated

🥞 We planned to see Galantis together 5 years ago just to see Runaway (U & I) and haven’t able to find each other in 5 years. We were always at the same shows and couldn’t connect, and he found me right when Galantis asked if everyone was ready to Runaway. It was like the matrix!!

🥞 He apologized for everything and said he feels emotions now, and we told each other we’d always have a soft spot. He said he worries about me and since we’re neighbors (two houses down) he started bringing me little food and hanging out with me.

🥞 People can and should change, and now I have a beautiful friendship with him.

🍳 Scout, Vinh, and I are going to Montreal in February for the Rainbow Six Siege invitational and I’m STOKED

🍳 Noah came back into all our lives and I’ve missed him, and he, Scout, Conway and I have the beginning of a master plan to buy a trap house in Southern California.

🍳 I realized my dream job would be to be a NASA pilot and hit g force and go super fast and thrilling all the time.

🌶 This has not been anything I’ve wanted before, and it’s unattainable. But it felt good to realize a dream, a solid dream, for once.

🍳 I revitalized my passion in communication and the mind, and feel confident with my path. I love school again.

🍳 I’ve grown so much with astrology and even if I look like a witchy bitch it really helps point out the good and bad in me, and is a guideline (not predictor) for how to adjust.

🍳 Karma is real, and I’ve learned that even though I’m blessed with being extremely lucky, how much you gamble is how much you’re willing to lose. How high you climb is how far you can fall.

Xoxo, always 🌙✨

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robertdowneyjjr · 6 years ago

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any mcu (Tony centric) fic recs? xoxo

I wasn’t too sure if you were looking for any specific pairing or time period within the MCU, so I’ve sorted this list out into a few different pairings, and for stevetony’s case, uhhh several different ~eras~

This is mostly stevetony though. With some pepperony, irondad spiderson, and various other pairings sprinkled in. Under the cut, because this got ridiculously long.

Steve/Tony – CACW // IW

almeno tu nell'universo by @silkspectred50/50 Steve/Tony POV, but very much Tony-centric as it’s set in Italy, where Tony goes to discover some things about his mother’s past that he never knew about. Steve goes along with him in hopes of winning Tony’s forgiveness.

shelter from the storm by @silkspectredTony adopts a baby. Guess who’s Majorly Fucked Up™ about it.

A New Way For Us by ann2who (@stark-spangled-lovers)(Time travel) They fight Thanos—and they’re losing. And before Tony knows what’s happening, he’s standing with Doctor Strange in front of the Eye of Agamotto and gets send back in time. Can he find a way to fix things this time around, or are they doomed to fall apart all over again?

System ID: J.A.R.V.I.S. by @cptxrogersAfter Civil War, Tony is struggling with heading up the team and dealing with the emotional fallout of being betrayed by those closest to him. Luckily, an old friend is back to help protect Tony and ensure he comes to no harm. A Jarvis lives AU.

Leaving Promises Against Your Skin by @nostalgicatsea(Soulmates AU) “Someday, someone will choose you, Tony,” his mother had said, her hands back to cupping his. “And no one, not your father, not anyone, can ever take that from you.” (second in series but can be read as a standalone fic)

(Un)stuck by @navaanwritesHe finds himself in different places, living different lives. And yet it all comes back to Steve.

Things We Learned at the End of the World by JenTheSweetie1. Even the apocalypse can’t keep people away from Olive Garden2. Smoothies do not replace conversations3. Tony has really obvious sex hair4. Home might be a little different, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go back

between dust and despair (series) by @rudderless-in-an-ocean-of-starsIn the aftermath of the apocalypse, Tony Stark does the one thing he knows how to do better than anything else.He builds.

Steve/Tony – AOU // post-AOU

Language by @sailorchibiThis is how Tony fixed the team and the damage he’d done, and in the process learned how to start fixing himself. Well, maybe the latter might take a little help from Steve.

Fixer-Upper by @imafriendlydalekTony leads the way up the steps to the house, and as the door swings open with a long creaking sound - note to self: oil door hinges - Steve’s eyes widen. He steps inside, turns slowly on his own axis as he looks around.“Tony, this place, it’s…” There’s a sense of wonder in his voice. Tony smiles inwardly. It is just the kind of thing Steve would like. Steve, who has a keen appreciation for fine aesthetics, who has a healthy - okay, sometimes more than healthy - sense of history and an acute desire to preserve things he deems worthy.“This place is a dump.”Well, so much for that, then. Tony shifts his weight to one leg as he takes an appraising look. “It’s a bit of a fixer-upper, yeah, I’ll give you that, but it’s not past saving. Just needs some TLC.”Steve uncrosses his arms and shoves his hands in the pockets of his pants. “Well listen, you ever want an extra set of hands with some of the work, just give me a call.”

Caesura by @ylixiaTony’s gotten maybe twelve hours of sleep in the past four days, and he’s been carrying the deaths of everyone that matters to him like a rock in his gut.

The Path I Started by JayEz (@multifandom-madnesss)Tony rebuilds, modifies. Takes fragments and gives them new order. He does not create. He can’t, not anymore. Not after this. Or: After the events of Ultron, Tony rebuilds the tower by himself and shuts everything out to the point that Pepper takes desperate measures and asks Steve to come and help.

Steve/Tony – post-Avengers // canon divergence // pre-AOU

Master of Communication by somanyfeels (@aceofultron)Tony didn’t like being touched, on the rare occasions he wanted physical contact he would initiate it. It was how things were, how it had always been, and he was fine with it. His new team didn’t know, they just kept touching and Tony wasn’t quite sure how to ask them to stop.

Untitled Playlist Number 5 by dapperyklutzThe many times Tony Stark plays BAMF-ing music while the team fights their Baddie of the Week. And somehow, along the way, between sleepless nights, game nights, movie nights and saving the world every other week — plus looking out for his wayward protégé whom he cares for very deeply -— he falls head over heels in love for a certain super soldier.

Who’s Your Caterer? by Bandearg_Rois(Mainly Steve POV) After moving into the Tower, the group starts taking meals together. This is a story about food, and about love, not necessarily together. Also contains physics and old movies, not at the same time.

Run Program: {x} (series) by Amuly (@everybodyilovedies)Taking care of Tony is a lot of work. Especially when you’ve only got one arm. And your code dates back to the 1980s.

Best Kept Secret by @alchemyaliceIn which there is a secret friendship, and Tony can’t deal with feelings, so Natasha has to do it for him. These two features may or may not be related.

honey, you’re keeping me afloat by mmotionEvery so often, on evenings with nobody else, Tony and Natasha drink some wine together and talk about everything and anything.

five times tony stark was kissed by a teammate (and one time he kissed a teammate) by colourexplosionin which people kiss tony a lot and he doesn’t get it

grey and other colours by @theappleppielifestyle(Demisexual and Demiromatic Tony) Distantly, Tony hears Clint say something like, “No, I definitely heard he was an equal opportunist. Like, equal-equal, no preference. Hey Tones, who are you attracted to more, dudes or chicks?” He calls the last part out to Tony, who runs the words over in his mind and unthinkingly says, “I’ve actually never been attracted to anyone, it’s really worrying.”

Reasons Why (Whether They’re Real Or Not) by infinite_wonders (@thetwowriters)Tony is slow, has very little self-worth, and thinks that the universe hates him as much as he hates himself. Everyone else is long-suffering, especially Steve, because disproving that notion could take a while.

Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful Boy by mybrotherharry (@baffledkingcomposinghallelujah)The first time Jarvis holds little Anthony in his arms, he is overwhelmed by emotion that is surprising in its intensity. When little Anthony’s palm curves around his finger, Jarvis ducks his head to keep the others from seeing the wetness in his eyes. “Hello Master Anthony,” he whispers into the little ear, tugging the bundle of blankets closer to his heart.

Pepper/Tony and/or Iron Dad & Spider Son

call every girl we ever met maria by irnan“You’re telling me,” Rhodey said, gleeful, “you’re telling me that you’ve been shot, stabbed, sewn up, been riddled with shrapnel, had a magnet implanted in your chest, spent two years poisoning yourself with palladium, spent twenty years as a functioning alcoholic and had a vasectomy and you still managed to knock Pepper up?”

with arms wide open by @parkrstarkTony and Pepper are expecting a baby and Peter may be the one most excited…just maybe…

yet turning stay by irnan“Tony - you’re all I’ve got too, you know.”

The Right Thing in the Wrong Way by igrockspockPeople don’t ask why Pepper sticks by Tony as often as they should, and if they did, she probably wouldn’t tell them the truth: that he’s never left her alone on the one day she actually needs him.

Twist of Fate by nikki_ofshadows (@karenninaaa)A single picture triggered Tony Stark to suspect that Peter Parker was his son, biologically.

i’m the satellite (and you’re the sky) by CamelotQueen (@missmgann)When Tony went to the Parker household to recruit Spider-Man, he had no idea what he was signing up for. AU where Tony is Peter’s biological father and neither of them know.

Welcome to the Family by FriendLey (@peppertoyourtony)Peter Parker spends time with Tony’s family. Happy is annoyed, Rhodey is amused, Pepper gets an assistant, and Tony feels betrayed.

The Publicity Verse by @xmypandabear A main of SpiderSon and IronDad with a side of social media and the internet (and healthy puddings of Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, Vision, FRIDAY, May, Ned and MJ)

Exploding Head Syndrome by foolscapper(Mainly Peter) Everyone comes back, when the snap is undone. Or, well — almost everyone.

Gen + other relationships/pairings

Twenty-Five Years by @notfknapplicable(Tony/Rhodey) Nobody knows how long this has actually been going on. (Tony Stark has pretty much been in a monogamous relationship since he was 18 years old.)

The Years In Between by @notfknapplicable(Tony/Rhodey) A follow-up to Twenty-Five Years (best to read that one first). All the years we missed.This is it, okay? This is forever, you and me.

Sound of Madness by martianwahtney(Post-CACW, Tony/Rhodey) After the fight in Siberia, Steve takes Bucky and vanishes, leaving Tony to pick up the pieces. Tony does everything in his power to bring the Rogues home, and still, somehow, things go to shit.

Helpless in Love by Avengerz(Tony/Rhodey) Rhodey and Tony being together since their MIT years. They married as soon as they could, and are still hopelessly in love after ~30 years. One of these perfect, almost sickeningly sweet couples.

First Choice by @sailorchibi(StarkQuill) Two years ago, Tony’s heart was broken when Steve picked Bucky over him. Now, he was certain that the past was repeating itself with Peter and Gamora.He was wrong.

Placeholder by @sailorchibi(StarkQuill) In the days leading up to his birthday, all Tony could think about was last year. Last year, when he and the Avengers celebrated together. Last year, when he had a family. He’s not as alone as he thinks he is.

Paths Are Made by Walking by @potrix-the-queerschlaeger(WinterIron) The road to recovery is long, winding and a different one for every person walking it. Bucky chooses to help himself the only way he knows how; by doing what he does best. Or, alternatively; the one in which Tony is a mess and accidentally kick-starts Bucky’s protective mother hen instincts.

Scars by @arvensis5(WinterIron) When Tony tried to urge the homeless guy sleeping on the steps of the Tower’s loading dock to move, he never expected that he’d found Hydra’s pet assassin—James “Bucky” Barnes. Now, after months of keeping his presence a secret from the Avengers and helping Barnes learn to cope with both his returning memories and the modern world, Hydra is back for their favorite toy and Tony must call in old friends to save the life of the man he just might have come to care for a little too much.

potato guns and repulsers by gossamernotes (@brooklynboystosupersoldiers)(Tony & Harley) The story wherein Harley Keener thinks over his life and watches where it goes after he meets the one and only, Tony Stark. It doesn’t really go the way he planned.

Amend by ancalime8301(Post-CACW, Tony & team) Negotiating the Accords, dealing with Ross, the end of his relationship with Pepper, Steve’s faction coming back to the Avengers compound … the stress finally catches up with Tony in dramatic fashion. The team has to decide to step up and handle things while Tony can’t. Tony has to decide if he’ll let them.

That’s it for now! Let me know if you’d like more recs later :)

#tony stark #stevetony #pepperony #iron dad spider son #tonyrhodey #winteriron #starkquill #fic rec #fic #anonymous #ask #buckytony

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thestarandskullshow · 6 years ago

Text

The Hunt: Chapter One

Author: ✨Star✨ Pairing: BTS x Reader (no specific pairing) Word Count: 1.8k Warnings: None? (Ask to tag if needed) Authors note: Ah! The first installment to The Hunt, which is my first multi-chapter fic, is finally here. I hope you all enjoy this little labor of love I’m putting together. Please send me any and all feedback via the ask box! I can’t wait to hear from you. xoxo - ✨

Read this first!

Everything was dark. Your body felt weighted with something, yet nothing at the same time. Straining against the opposing force holding your body still, you heard a muffled voice speaking somewhere to your left.

“I think it’s awake, Ma’am.” the voice was low, almost a growl. “It’s heart rate is speeding up. Should we put it under again?”

“Of course, we still have a while to go before we’re there. Just a small dose will suffice.” A feminine voice, more regal in nature, agreed with the former.

Your breath hitched as you started panicking. A small dose of what? Where were you headed? More importantly, who took you, and did they take Jimin too? You heard a sharp metallic click to your left, accompanied by a soft hum from the first man who spoke. Suddenly, your left arm felt as if it had been submerged in near sub zero water. The cold only spread from there, enveloping your whole body in its icy grasp.

You slipped back into unconsciousness .

When your eyes opened for the second time, everything was a bright and brilliant white. Slowly pulling yourself up into a sitting position, you let your eyes scan around the small room.

There seemed to be no visible exit, but you clearly made out what appeared to be a showering area to your left. A showerhead hung from the ceiling, high out of arm's reach, a single knob protruded from the wall, and a drain adorned the floor beneath it. A simple cream colored curtain separated the shower from the rest of the room, with a small hook beside it for what you assumed would be a towel.The only furniture in the room were the bed you were currently occupying, and a small ivory dresser in the far right corner.

Taking your first look at yourself, you take notice that your jacket had been removed, as well as your shoes. Taking a deep breath, you swung your legs over the side of the bed, careful to ensure your footing was solid before you stood. You wobbled only a little as you made your way toward the dresser. On top of the dresser sat a folded white towel, a new bar of soap, and two bottles marked ‘Shampoo’ and ‘Conditioner’ in warm amber letters. As you reached for one of the bottles, a loud buzz sounded above you, followed by a warm, silky voice.

“Welcome, Y/n. Please make use of the facilities provided, when you are clean, you will find clothing suited to you in the dresser. After you are dressed, a guide will be sent to retrieve you. Do not make us wait.”

You waited for a moment, but no further instructions came.

“And what if I don’t?” you called to the ceiling. No answer. “What if I just sit here instead?” You folded your arms over your chest defiantly, letting your gaze sweep across the ceiling tiles. Still, the voice did not return.

Narrowing your eyes, you tapped your foot against the cold floor, unwilling to cooperate. After a few moments, a softer buzzing sound resonated from behind you. You whipped your head around just in time to see a panel in the wall open up beside the bed. Two expressionless men entered the room, and the panel slid closed as quickly as it had opened. The men both wore simple, yet elegant black suits, paired with equally simple black shoes. Their dark hair was neatly slicked back, and their deep brown eyes appeared to see right through you. Everything about them appeared sharp and precise, much like the room around you.

“Please remove your clothing, and make use of the shower.” one of the men spoke, his voice monotone.

“No.” The two men looked at one another, nodded in agreement to something, then started to move toward you. You take a step backwards, but the dresser hindered your attempt at a retreat.

“We have been given orders to assist you, should you resist. We do not wish to resort to that. Remove your clothing, and use the shower.” The second mans voice had a slight edge to it. Though it remained monotone, there was an undeniable hardness to it that made you uneasy. You didn’t like the idea of them ‘assisting’ you, but you had too many questions that needed answering. Perhaps you could bargain with them.

“I’ll do it, but only if you answer my questions as I do...and you will not watch me change!” your voice was stronger than you intended it to be, yet the authoritative tone seemed to gain you a little admiration from the men. They take one step back, and turn on their heels to face the direction they had come from.

“Answers to your inquiries fall upon the guide who will meet you when you are finished, we do not have orders to do so. This is your last chance to do as you have been instructed.” Knowing better than to push further, you turned to face the dresser. Making quick work of your clothes, you make sure to wrap the towel around you as best as you can before holding your discarded items out towards the men.

“Where do I put my clothes? The instructions didn’t say.” one of the men reached behind them, prompting you to place your clothes in his hand. Sighing, you did just that before gathering up the bottles of shampoo and conditioner, as well as the bar of soap and finally making your way to the shower. You pull the curtain around you, reaching through it to hang the towel on the hook. You’re surprised to find a small shelf that had been previously hidden by the curtain. After placing the bottles and soap there, you turn the shower knob only to be met with freezing cold water assaulting your skin. Jumping back, you suck in a deep breath and hesitantly reach your hand beneath the water, waiting for it to warm up before stepping under again.

You make quick work of washing your hair and body, not wanting to take too long for fear of any repercussions from the obvious hired help waiting for you to finish up. After drying off, you wrap the towel around yourself once again, and pull the curtain back only to find the men have disappeared. In their place stood a young woman, who turned to face you as you exited the shower. Her silver hair was pulled back into a loose bun, a few stray strands hanging to frame her face. She wore a delicate black cocktail dress with matching heels.

“Hello Y/n, welcome to Gongpo Castle. My name is Min Hyunju.” She smiled warmly, bowing her head respectfully as you stepped closer to the dresser. You eyed her suspiciously for a moment, then turned and pulled open the top drawer.

“I take it you’re my guide? I thought you wouldn’t be here until I was finished changing.” You mused, removing a pair of white boyshort underwear from the drawer and slipping them on, closing it after. “Not to say I don’t appreciate your company more than the robo-twins of course.” This made Hyunju laugh, and you felt a chill creep up your spine as you opened the next drawer.

“They are quite emotionless, aren’t they? Unsettlingly so. That’s how the lords prefer them, though. Quick to follow orders without question.” All this explained as if it was a normal occurance for people to behave like robots. Placing the towel on the dresser, you removed a pair of grey pants, and a long white t-shirt, slipping into them with ease before closing the drawer and turning to face the woman. Her amber eyes caught your gaze and you instantly felt an uneasiness settle in the pit of your stomach.

“I have questions, they said you would answer them.” your fingers raked through your hair as you spoke, and she tilted her head with curiosity.

“Of course, Y/n. but we should make our way to the grounds. The lords do not like to be kept waiting. Shall we?” Hyunju gestured to the wall, and the same panel as before slid open to reveal a white corridor. She clasped her hands behind her, smiling again as she started walking confidently through the doorway. You take one last glance around the room before following close behind.

“Who are the lords? Why did they bring me here?” The white walls seemed to stretch forever, with no doors in sight. They must be hidden in panels like the one before, you thought, I wonder just how many rooms there are.

“You’ll meet the lords in due time, Y/n. As for why you’re here,” Hyunju’s pace slowed, matching your own. “The lords gather once a year to hold a game amongst themselves, and you just so happened to be the perfect prize, offered by one of the lords himself.” You felt yourself freeze, a prize? You were merely a prize to be won by someone? Shaking your head in disbelief, you regain your composure and continue walking. You take a moment to think before asking your next question.

“Who offered me?”

“I’m not at liberty to tell you, that would go against the rules.” Hyunju stated. The small smile she wore causing the unease in your stomach to grow. “I can tell you the rules you must follow during the game however. One; the game only ends if the prize is caught, or the time limit has been reached. Two; there are two safe zones, but you may only use them for a total of four hours at a time before you must move.”

The onslaught of information was budding a monstrous headache, but you didn’t have the choice to stop listening. “Three; when you are in the safe zones, the lords will be alerted, and will have to stay exactly where they are until you leave. This is to prevent them from crowding around the zones. Four; you are not to harm the lords, but they are also not able to harm you.” as she finished speaking, Hyunju stopped and turned to the left, she waved her hand and a panel opened.

You leaned forward, yet the light spilling through the opening revealed little to your eyes other than grass occupying the ground just beyond the threshold. Suddenly, you felt Hyunju’s hand press to your back and push, the force sending you stumbling forward into the darkness. You whip around just in time to see her smile wickedly, and for the first time, you notice the sharpness of her canine teeth. Hyunju’s amber eyes appeared to glow like embers as her head tilted to the side.

“Welcome to The Hunt, Y/n. You have seventy two hours to outlast the lords. Good luck.”

The panel slid closed, and once again you were enveloped in darkness.

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x-rambles · 3 years ago

Text

06.18.21

Gratitude: 1. I got the summer schedule that I want!! Extra $$ is a dream! 2. My birthday is NEXT WEEK 3. I’ve been walking outside consistently!

So...this post is definitely a brain dump! Essentially, I want to talk about fear. I am feeling so much fear & I am, afraid...ugh it’s drama because I shouldn’t be operating from a place of fear! I need to have an abundance mindset! It’s just upsetting that I feel lost in the sauce, like I don’t know what to do/what to focus on.

As of late, and I think the root of my entire quarter life crisis is a fear that my time is being wasted! For example, with A! I’m pissed I’m not meeting his family/people in his life because if the relationship isn’t progressing a certain way my time may be wasted!!! Do I want to share my life with him? Do I want to marry him? I just don’t want to waste my time!

This shit with not seeing each other has just been weird as fuck though. Not seeing each other, not really communicating, no bueno! I know I’m not initiating any more communication.....I’m just not exactly too sure about opening up my options. Opening my options would be to A-make me happy! I like dating, I like being treated a certain way. I deserve that, so if he’s not giving it I would have to get it elsewhere! B-ensure my time is not WASTED! My sis said the sad truth is I’m single until marriage & it’s true. IDK if I want to be married by 25, that could be a bit much...but I am positive that I want to be in a relationship progressing to marriage.

It’s odd how things with us were going great & we were more or less on the same page then BOOM-complete stop! So....ya if he’s not being the boyfriend I require I must look elsewhere. Maybe I wont go on apps right now, but....yeah!

I also fear time being wasted in my job! And I hate that because similarly I’m not too sure what to expect, what I want! I guess because I’ve been talking about the PhD for FOREVER & have yet to make strides toward that. I think with the PhD I just need a timeline. Transparently, teaching AND curriculum development ARE very helpful! I think teaching experience (which I love) can help w my PhD. Developing AA history helps me continue engaging w sources & docs. I’m just so afraid of staying stagnant. This year I haven’t been stagnant. This year I have grown. I need to be sure that I continue doing that! Continue following my passions, continue progressing with that in mind.

I don’t like that I’m feeling romance anxiety. It’s hard being so afraid & I think a lot of that may be my fear of getting caught up in the type of thing I was caught up in before. And like, idk...I hear about people being in relationships for 2-3 years before being engaged.....I try not to think too much. I’m trying to think step by step. I liked the progression from dating to stating goals, to exclusivity, to relationship growth. I should trust my instincts too! Why am I not more integrated into his life? Why is it so casual for him to not see nor speak to me. RED FUCKING FLAGS. I’m not comfortable addressing them as I....don’t want to be in my masculine. All that I can do is open my own options?

If I open my options I’m praying that I don’t fall into the 80-20 trap. And when we’re together maybe I can ask for help more? Ask for what I want more...ugh. There are times when I prefer more chivalry....this is damn insane man. I just want a loving relationship with a man who loves me. I am not comfortable. UGH.

I’m freaking out about if he’ll reach out to hang out this weekend! On the one hand it’s like....Me & Jenny do have plans (stupid ass plans) & on the other hand, I for sure want to hang out! SO-maybe if he reaches out I can say I’ll come over tomorrow night? If he doesn’t reach out-I’ll be pissed as fuck like I have been, It’s hard being me because I get so emotional about hypotheticals lmao. It’s rough because I just like having plans!

I wonder how I’ll feel. On the OFF chance he reaches out to hang out at his/my home this weekend (one day)-NO SEX If we do his house Saturday-Sunday? I have to feel the vibe out. I’m nervous because I love & miss him...but I don’t want to pretend his being MIA is okay! Maybe the first attempt I’ll express that I’ve been feeling distant lately & want to enjoy our time together. If he attempts a second time & I feel receptive to it I may go along...Communication is so hard, & I do want to prepare incase I have to initiate discussing this. It’s also a mess because I feel distant from lack of communication/seeing each other AND about not being more integrated into his life/not being too clear on the progression of our relationship.

These hypotheticals are all hinged on whether or not he even reaches out...if he doesn’t reach out until next week (Bday get away) I’ll be pissed asf. I guess I’d have to just feel stuff out & ask his thoughts about our lack of time together when I see him bcus that’s crazy asf.

Is everything okay with his cousin? Even if not, I just feel like he’s responsible to take care of it, or communicate that. I’m nervous because part of me really doesn’t know if I’m ready for this conversation.

I guess when I say something (because I cant hide it) I’ll have to be transparent about expressing how I feel & genuinely wondering about his thoughts. That’s about has far as I’ve gotten...& thank him for sharing his thoughts...because it’s some bs.

Unfortunately, If a valid prospect presents itself I will remain open to it because I am not messing myself up with this clownery, I’m just not. This cousin shit needs to be over by my birthday and/or he should be taking me out on weekdays. I am not going to continue putting up with just never seeing each other. I’m not in the business of having myself unavailable yet being single in my own relationship. I’m not interested in doing that & I will not do that.

Action Steps: -NO SEX for 1 day visits -MUST gather thoughts/perspective before sex on weekend visit **praying we don’t have to discuss this over my bday...it may be good to discuss in the car? Or maybe the Friday before....but I...I’ll flesh out that action plan when it gets closer.

Keep your eye on the prize-and baby, YOU are the prize! XoXo, C.

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unkindnessofone · 7 years ago

Text

5SOS. Up We Go

This is the idea that won the vote. I hope you enjoy. I would love some feedback. There was going to be more beyond the end, but I thought I might leave this one on a happy note. Let me know what you think. xoxo

*******************

“How nice of you to join us.” Simone mused from the shallow end of their suite's pool where she was floating very slowly in simple black one piece. Against her chest, in a very small bathing suit with blue stripes, yellow sand dollars, and pink flamingos all over it as well as a very floppy matching cotton hat, she was holding four month old Molly Irwin, just letting the her chubby little legs feel the cool water as they traveled around with no real place to go. Her tired eyes matched her young husbands as he slowly sat down at the edge, dipping his legs into the pool and waving silently at his two favorite ladies. Ever since Ashton became a father, his hangovers had hit him harder. They were fewer and further between, but they felt like being smacked over and over again by a swollen iron fist. He used to be able to work out through them, but it was bad painful just to read his texts in bed when he woke up. In his defense, one of his best friends did tie the knot the night before and that was a special occasion worth celebrating. Plus, there was an open bar with an incredible selection. “The water might help your head.” She suggested, shrugging her shoulders as she moved a little closer to where he was. Ashton shook his head as an answer and reached out his arms for Molly. He had been awake a grand total of ten minutes and he hadn't had a single second with his little one. It was not okay.

“Hey Miss Molly....” Quietly, for his own head and hers, he greeted her while carefully taking her from Simone's embrace. The last thing he wanted to do was accidentally drop her into the water. “Are you hungover, too?” Jokingly, he asked her, adjusting the wide rim of her hat so he could actually see her face: expressionless, but still charming.

“She might be kiss hungover.” Simone added, her wet shoulders against Ashton's legs that were hanging in the water. “When I picked her up from your mum's room, she had the biggest lipstick stains on her. Bright red right on her forehead and cheek.” Simone would have been amused if it hadn't taken three baby wipes to fully remove the makeup from her child's face. Still, she was grateful that Annemarie left the reception early to watch over Molly while Ashton and Simone partied like they were teenagers with their friends.

Ashton held Molly out, just above the water, and let her feet kick clumsily in the water. Simone swam a little bit ahead of her, cheering her on as she watched Molly smile. It was one of the few ways she could indicate her mood to them at all.

“Did you talk to anyone this morning? Is anyone else up?” Ashton asked his wife, prying his eyes away from Molly's legs as he held her. Most of the invited guests to Cagney and Luke's wedding had stayed in surrounding hotels in Brisbane, but there were still some of Ashton's friends who had crashed at The Stamford Plaza or who could also afford a room there. He couldn't remember for sure if he and Calum made morning breakfast plans or if that was just silly drunk talk in between celebratory shots.

“Just Grace and your mum.”

��Ah, I can't remember as much as I'd like to after our first round of shots...” Chuckling, Ashton admitted before handing Molly back to her mother so that he could slide into the pool to join him. He hadn't put on any sunscreen yet even though it had been resting on the night stand by their hotel bed. “I was thinking, maybe, someone could fill in the blanks.”

“You danced a lot.” Simone informed him, a Chesire cat grin spreading across her face as she told him that suggested perhaps his moves on the dance floor hadn't been all that smooth. “And cried. You were very happy for Luke.”

“I like Keg, you know that. She brought us together.” He shot her a wink that he instantly regretted since it poked at his headache.

“You called yourself 'a fountain of extreme feelings'.” Simone wiggled her brows at him with a small chuckle, recalling how emotional the night made her husband. “I'm sure Grace could fill you in.” Simone mentioned. She hadn't exactly stayed stone cold sober either and since she was still pumping and breastfeeding, it had been her first night drinking in over a year. She was as light a weight as she had been on her eighteenth birthday. “She didn't drink last night.”

“What?” Ashton's whole face contorted until it looked like a honey crueler. That wasn't the party girl he knew. Both Michael and his wife could polish off a whiskey bottle to themselves and still walk in a straight line. As Ashton took a minute to consider what Simone said, he realized he hadn't seen Grace drunk in a little while. She had been sipping a glass with lime slice in it all night, but Ashton just assumed it was gin and Sprite.

“Do you want some juicy gossip? You'd be the second person to know. Well, I told Molly, so third.”

“What do you know?” Ashton didn't know if they were talking about his antics the night before or Grace, but either way, he was interested.

“Grace is pregnant.” Even though no one else was around, Simone still whispered the news.

After inhaling a huge breath of fresh morning air, Ashton lunged closer to the little girl in Simone's arms and poked at her tummy, “Do you hear that, Molls? You're going to have a little buddy!”

“Michael doesn't know.” Simone jumped in quickly, speaking from behind Molly to make it seem as if her daughter was the one dropping the hot gossip mom.

“Alright, start from the beginning.” Moving away from Molly and Simone, Ashton went closer to the pool wall, resting against it to focus on his wife. He really wished he had thought to bring his sunglasses out from his suitcase.

“She told me yesterday when we were in Cagney's suite because she was having a hard time staying awake. She wanted to know my tricks.” Unfortunately, Simone didn't have any. She hadn't gone through the exhaustion a lot of women feel during their first trimester. In fact, she was full of energy until the last month. “She's not really sure how to tell Mike.”

“She wants to some kind of special reveal?” Ashton didn't quite understand.

“They've been at each other’s throats lately. Yesterday was the first time they hadn't fought in a long time and I think that's because they were too busy.” Michael had been in Luke's wedding party and Grace was helping the girls get ready, looking after guests from out of town, and trying to lend a hand where she could. Ashton nodded as he listened to Simone. He remembered Michael telling him as they were drinking with Luke and the rest of his buddies in the limo that Grace had told him to go fuck himself the night before, leaving him to sleep in the hotel bath tub with a blanket and pillow that a maid brought up.

“They love each other though.” Shrugging it off, Ashton said without a care. Nobody ever questioned the affection between Grace and Michael. There had been times where they were threatening to break up with one another and then five seconds later Michael was cursing out a random guy in a club for looking at Grace the wrong way or standing too close. Their relationship was hot to the touch, but Ashton assumed they wanted it that way. “Michael once said he likes when she's angry because then she wants to be on top.” Ashton had no idea why he remembered that. He was a little embarrassed that none of them had been classy enough to keep information about their sex lives to themselves except for Calum.

“Well, she's worried.”

“They weren't trying?”

“She said they've just stopped using protection, but that was before they started fighting.”

“Mike's wanted to have kids since he met her. He'll be so happy.” Ashton really wasn't concerned in the slightest, but he could read on Simone's face that she wasn't as optimistic.

“Yeah, it's not about him and his feelings.” Forever a feminist, Simone shot with a little spice on her words, earning a little kick in the water from Molly. “Grace doesn't come from a supportive household. She didn't have a mother figure. She's very scared she will fail at it. Oh God, Ash, it was awful. She literally said, 'What if I'm as bad at it as I was at acting and everything else?' My heart would have broke if Cagney hadn't come out two seconds later in her dress.” The hairstylist really had looked like a vision. Nobody thought Luke would cry, but the moment Simone saw her friend in white she texted Ashton and told him she was changing her bet. A hundred dollars that the groom would weep – and she was right.

“How far along is she?” Ashton asked, knowing Simone had all the details. His wife never got involved in anything without gathering all the information. He always thought of her as a squirrel when she was in work mode, collecting everything and anything she could get her hands on.

“11 and a half weeks.”

“I would kill you if you waited that long to tell me.” Without any thought or regard for Grace, Ashton said with an eye roll that almost went around twice.

“Well, good thing she isn't your wife. She can handle this however she wants. I won't fault her for any decision she makes. We are supporting her, Ashton.”

“I feel like I should tell Mike.” A few seconds of uneasy silence drifted between them, but Ashton pushed off of the wall and waded closer to Simone and Molly, kissing his daughter's cheek and then his wife's lips, soft from a beeswax lip balm.

“Don't.” Whispering, Simone advised. “I'm only telling you because I can't keep anything from you, not because I want you to get involved.” She knew that wasn't easy for him, but it wasn't their issue to meddle in. “They'll be fine. She's just frightened.” Even though Molly's experience had been very different, she could still empathize with her friend. For her, the fear didn't arrive until the contractions did. That was when it truly felt real

***************************

Enjoying a sip of hair of the dog from a flat beer left open on the floor from the night before, Michael laid out on the chair he moved near the hotel balcony. He enjoyed the sunlight pouring into the room, bathing him from head to toe in the bright explosion of colour. It was a gorgeous morning after one Hell of a night. He opened up his laptop on his lap and looked over at his sleeping wife while the home screen loaded. It was very strange for her to still be asleep while it was almost eleven in the morning. Usually, he was the one to crash into the afternoon while she went to an early morning spin class and ran errands about town, meeting with friends for lunch, and picking up dry cleaning and organic groceries. He just assumed she was either fully emerging into vacation mode or that she had danced herself exhausted at Luke and Cagney's reception. Michael hadn't realized yet that Grace had been napping lately. He just thought she was taking breaks from him. They had been pushing one another’s buttons a lot more furiously lately. It seemed like all he had to do was squeeze her too tight and she was jumping down his throat.

She was beautiful though. Michael still felt like he had won the lottery. For all of Grace's flaws, she was still the soft 'good morning' and 'good night' sound that he missed when they were apart. She was the first person to make him feel truly needed. It had always been him who loved fiercely and grew attached to other people, but Grace relied on Michael when she was down, she craved his jokes and his arms, and it made him feel unstoppable. She was one of the toughest people he had ever met, but yet, she genuinely needed him. They could fight like they were being paid to, but Michael never lost sight of how important they were to one another. He smiled at her completely still body until his laptop released a bright beep as his fingers mindlessly typed the wrong password.

“Oh, fuck.” He hissed at the machine, settling down his stale beer on the floor to use both hands this time. The beep hadn't interrupted Grace's slumber in the slightest, but Michael's curse did. Stirring, her eyes fluttered open and she wiped at her face, smudging the already creased makeup from the night before that she hadn't washed off. She had remembered to remove her flash lashes though. They were resting with dry glue all over them on the night stand by her side. “I was trying to be quiet.” Michael chuckled at himself and confessed.

“It's alright.” Grace pulled herself up by one side and reached for her phone that was resting by the curled up lashes. She checked the time and noted that she had missed a phone call from her doctor's office back in New York. “I should be up anyway.” She was really not used to how tired she had become. It was as if she hadn't stopped yawning the moment the strip turned pink on the pregnancy test. To be honest, she couldn't believe Michael was up. He had been rowdy the night before. She thought for sure he would sleep the whole day away like a bear would the winter season.

“Uhh...I slept in the bed next to you last night.” Michael had his laptop open on his knees, but gave Grace his attention. He liked watching her this way. It had been a while since he watched her unwrap her naked body from bed sheets, messy hair falling around her like a waterfall of tangles. “I hope that's alright. I guess, I just passed out.” They had been too busy with helping their friends get married to properly sort of their argument from the night before. Michael didn't dare say it out loud, but he couldn't remember what it was about. He knew he made an off hand comment about the wedding they were all in Brisbane for and that Grace took it the wrong way. Next thing he knew, he was banished to the bath tub since the hotel was out of extra rooms thanks to Luke's nuptials.

“Yeah.” Throwing her hair back from the front, Grace confirmed. “I asked you too.” She reminded him. Drunk Michael had been clumsy, but gracious. He was on his way to his makeshift bathroom bed when she asked him to cuddle her close.

Michael's face didn't hide any of his surprise, but a crooked smile tiptoed over his face, “I wish I could remember.” The night was a blur at best.

“We were about ten seconds into sex before we stopped because you kept saying you couldn't find me.” She informed him. “You said we were spinning.” She was the queen of messy sex, but it just didn't feel right with him slurring his words and losing track of his own limbs. “So, we just cuddled.” Grace watched as Michael just smiled at the words she was saying. “It was nice.”

“You're not mad at me?” He checked, removing his laptop from his person and closing it on the way to the floor.

“No. I love drunk Michael.” That wasn't always her stance on him intoxicated, but she was trying to put their recent troubles aside. “He thinks I'm beautiful.”

“Sober Michael thinks you're beautiful too.” Frowning at her with the corners of his mouth down and his eyebrows closing over his eyes, Michael informed her. “You seem to always forget that somehow, how in love with you I am.” Shaking his head, he rejoined her in bed. She was sitting up, but he pulled her down with his arms wrapped around her chest and curled her into him, his lips finding different tangles of hair to kiss vivaciously. “We have a couple more days here. Anything you want to do?” Michael checked in, purring in her ear as his grip around her shoulder loosened so he could roam elsewhere around her warm body. The sun had toasted them both perfectly this morning.

“I told Simone we would watch Molly tomorrow.”

“Yeah?” Pulling away from her head, Michael checked. That was news to him.

“How often do her and Ash get time together, right?” Between her company and Ashton's commitments to the band, it was a miracle they ever saw one another. Now with a baby in the mix, Grace just assumed the two of them lived completely separate lives that were forever dowsed in breast milk and drool. It was one of the many things that frightened her about motherhood.

“Yeah, no, it's cool. I just didn't know. What do you do with a three month old anyway?” He asked and then wondered if that was actually how old Molly Irwin was.

“You don't know?” Very scared, Grace checked, pushing away from Michael and furiously studying his face as if the actual answer was written somewhere between his forehead and left nostril. “I don't know either. I guess we just feed her and put her down and don't like...throw her around like a football.” She rambled.

“I wasn't planning to do that.” He laughed at her, shaking his head. “Are you sure you want to babysit? You seem a little freaked out.”

“Of course, I do.” Grace scoffed like he was crazy. “It'll be fine. It won't be hard.” She said to mostly herself.

“Well, what about today? We have the whole day ahead of us.” Even though Brisbane was special to Cagney and Luke, Michael wasn't sure if Grace had been there before. He wanted to seize this moment where she was feeling calm and they were in a good place. “Whatever you want to do, okay?” If she just wanted to hang out in the room and stay naked, he would be very okay with that, but if she wanted to call some friends and go out, Michael would make that happen as well.

“Could we talk?” Grace also wanted to take advantage of the warmth between them. She had been craving the current closeness she was feeling, their legs between one another's and their stomachs pressed together. The thin grey fabric of Michael's boxer briefs that he had wrestled into that morning were the only thing between them. It felt exactly how it should feel and Grace figured if there was a perfect time to tell him that she was pregnant, it was right now.

“Yeah. What about?” He always worried when they were in the middle of a bad spell that this would be the time she grew tired of his bullshit and wanted out. He had a full on panic attack the day after she accepted his proposal that one day she would get over him and leave. Calum had to punch him in the stomach to get him to snap out of it and focus on the song they were trying to record. “Fuck, did I say something stupid last night? You know I talk out of my ass when I'm drunk...” Michael rolled his head back on a pillow and pinched the middle of his forehead. He wished he could remember, but figured if he had done or said something unforgivable it might be better that it was lost in a fog. “I know it's not an excuse, but I'm sure I didn't mean it.” He reached for either of her hands under the table, massaging her knuckles with his thumb once he had one. Michael really wanted a break from the fighting.

“Stop.” Grace rested her forehead on his and exhaled against him as he released a heavy breath. They both were in desperate need of a teeth brushing. “I'm not upset about last night. You didn't say anything stupid. Well, you told Calum that he was too scrumptious to ever feel lonely and we all thought that was bizarre, but it's fine.” Grace weaseled her hand out from under Michael's and wrapped it around his knuckles, bringing it up to her dry lips for a kiss.

“Then what is it?” His nerves hadn't subsided in the slightest.

Grace inhaled as deep as she could, just the way she did when she tried her first cigarette: closing her eyes, sucking in until she felt her ribs ache, and then releasing slow enough to worry if she looked cool or not to the strangers around her. She noticed how anxious Michael looked and knew that she had past the point of no return. It wasn't as if she could just smile, shrug, and say, 'Nothing, nevermind.' He would either force it out of her or have a pounding rock in his chest for the rest of the day.

“Are you looking forward to a day with Molly tomorrow?” Kissing his knuckles again, she asked as casually as she would ask him if he wanted milk in his morning coffee or not.

“What?” Michael's eyes remained wide while his eyebrows thickened over top of them. “Um, I guess?” She was being weird, but Michael knew better than to point that out to her. “I don't know. She's a baby. She's my best friend's baby.” Michael didn't really have any feelings about it. It wouldn't be the worst by any stretch of his imagination, but he could think of many other activities that he would enjoy more.

“I'm just checking.”

“That's what you wanted to talk about? My interest in babysitting?”

“No...” Shaking her head, Grace grew meek for a second. She was always bombastic. There was nothing shy about the aspiring actress. It was, perhaps, Michael's favorite thing about her. Even if no one else thought she was a star, she refused to not shine.

“Grace, what's going on?” He laughed and poked at her stomach as she started to fold the blanket she was under between them. Michael had to fight to find her body that he had been tangled up with just seconds before.

“I'mpregnant.” She grumbled from behind her teeth that were locked behind shut lips and covered by the top of the sheets. Her eyes watched Michael, but he just leaned his head in to try and hear her better.

“What did you say?” He squinted at her if that would help his hearing. It was hard to hear her behind all her layers of armor, but his chuckling at her strange behavior wasn't doing him any flavors either. Michael pulled down the blanket from her chin as Grace said it again, only making him laugh more.

She prepared herself with a heavy breath again and threw her hands over her face, releasing the two words together again. This time she wasn't met with any poking or wrestling from Michael. She couldn't hear a breath from him, his laughing had stopped entirely. Grace spread her perfectly manicured fingers open and spied Michael through the openings between her index and middle. He was staring at her stunned, but somewhat suspicious with his left eye widened just slightly bigger.

“Did you just say what I think you said? Did you say that you are...? Grace...?” Michael checked slowly, watching her nod. Once her chin was completely engulfed by her neck and the bed sheets, Michael laid back down and put his own hands over his face, mimicking how she was just a moment ago.

Grace sat up with fear, her hands down on her knees as she tried to study Michael's hidden face just as he had been doing with hers moments ago, “What?” She snapped. “What is it? What are you thinking?” Her biggest fear was that he had the same questions she did. Grace instantly figured that Michael thought she would be the worst mother in the world even though he once told her before they had sex that he thought she would be an incredible parent, that he hadn't known if he wanted to be a dad himself until he took up with her.

“I'm thinking I can't wait to show them Howl's Moving Castle...” Michael admitted once his hands were down by his sides, exposing his rosy cheeks. Grace didn't have a second to ask him what that was before he had her pinned down, straddling her hips and kissing her face from chin to forehead. “This is crazy!” His best friend just tied the knot the night before and now he was finding out he was expecting. Michael felt like he was going to explode. He was the sun screaming into their room, but louder. As Grace laughed beneath him, he thought about running around the room in his underwear and then taking to the halls. Michael calmed down for just a moment and rested his head on her shoulder, breathing in her natural scent as his mind reeled through different movies he was going to introduce his kid to, matching Metallica shirts he could dress them in, and teaching them all the words to his favorite songs. They would have to move out of their condo and into a house. His kid was going to have a backyard and basement. “I'm going to practice throwing Molly in the air tomorrow and catching her. That's what Dad's do.” He whispered against Grace's skin, his excitement dancing out of the softness in his voice. He hadn't noticed, but Michael had put both his palms flat on her stomach, feeling nothing and everything all at once.

“Ashton would kill you if you dropped her.” Grace chuckled back, her head cheek resting on top of his bedhead. “If Simone didn't first.” She mused.

“I can't wait to tell them.” He said unaware that those two already knew. “Oh shit, my parents are going to freak out. Let's take them out for dinner tonight?!” He popped his head up so quickly that Grace barely had time to move her own.

“Wait. You're not scared?”

“No!” As if she was insane for asking, Michael shouted. “This is awesome. Our kid is going to have your gorgeous face, my taste in music, and they're going to be amazing. This is the best.” He couldn't believe she wasn't jumping up and down like he was.

“I'm terrified.”

“That's probably normal. You could talk to Simone about it.”

“What if I'm like my mom?” Very seriously, Grace asked. He softened again, realizing just how real her question was. They so rarely discussed Grace's family. She had once changed the subject to Charles Manson when Michael asked about her parents because that was more pleasant for her. Michael was silent for a moment before shaking his head to and fro' like a dog trying to dry off after running through the backyard sprinkler.

“Nope. No. I don't need to know that lady to know that won't happen.” Michael crawled up onto his knees and found both her hands, curling them up in his. “You are supportive and protective, you are tough and kind at the same time. This kid is so lucky. There is nothing even remotely monstrous about you. You were built for anything.” He watched as she believed him, her eyes adoring him while her fears were released through her lips warbling.

“You always know what to say.” She sighed. It was times like these that she understood why songwriting came so easy to her husband. He had a way with words that could calm anyone down. It was mind boggling to her that he was the same man who could make dick jokes at the wrong moment and talk with his whole foot in his mouth sometimes.

Michael leaned down and kissed her, slowly and sucking on her bottom lip before quickly letting go to pull the covers off of her and kiss her exposed stomach with a loud 'smack'.

“Can we run around naked now? Come on! Come on!” He lifted up her arms and bounced on the bed, her smile allowing laughter to erupt wildly from her mouth. Unbeknownst to her, Ashton was right. There was nothing to worry about. “This is awesome! This is awesome!”

#michael clifford imagine #michael clifford one shot #michael clifford au #5sos au #5sos one shot #5sos imagine #5sos michael clifford #michael clifford fic #unkindnessofoone #unkindnessofone

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etherealwaifgoddess · 5 years ago

Text

Birthday Gifts

Main Characters: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Set in the What He Wants AU, it’s Bucky’s birthday and he receives a very surprising gift from our main character, and also gets himself exactly what he wants for his birthday :)

Warnings/ Content: Tooth rotting fluff

Word Count: 2,173

Author’s Note: We’re back in the WHW AU, my lovelies!! Our boy has been carrying around that ring of yours for a while now and it’s starting to get prettttty heavy in his pocket. I had the idea for this all the way back when I was originally writing WHW and I really looked forward to sharing it with you all one day. Well, the day is today! For anyone not familiar with What He Wants and the one shots from the same series please check out the master list HERE

XOXO - Ash

Birthday Gifts

Bucky takes to carrying the little black box with your engagement ring in his pocket every day. It starts out because he’s afraid to leave it around the apartment where you could potentially find it, but then it becomes a comforting habit. Some days when he’s overwhelmed by his love for you he wonders if that’s the moment. Something as simple as the way your eyes light up when you’re pelting him with snowballs after you’ve shoveled out your walkway make him wonder if he should just drop to one knee and do it. But he waits, biding his time. Bucky wants it to be special and memorable when he finally proposes to you. He mulls over what he’ll say some nights when he’s having trouble sleeping and thinks he has some pretty good ideas.

The winter drags on and it’s a brutal one, you spend a lot of time cooped up together in your little apartment when you get snowed in. Bucky feels like you’ve been together for a lifetime with all the time you’ve spent together and he almost takes advantage of Valentine’s Day to propose but decides last minute that it’s too cliche.

March rolls around and you start planning Bucky’s birthday party and his gift. You know exactly what to get him and have the plans set into motion. Bucky grumbles at all the attention, not particularly fond of it or of his birthday in general. You ask him often what he wants, just to be sure you’re not missing something else to get him. Bucky starts just answering with a long, drawn out sigh after the third time you ask. He knows exactly what he wants, and he’s going to get it. Birthdays are for gift giving and Bucky decides that his gift to himself is going to be you as his wife.

The closer it comes to his birthday the more anxious he is, the ring sitting heavily in his pocket. He’s set in his decision to ask you but worries all the same. March 10th falls on a Wednesday so you make simple plans to take him to dinner in town and then go up to the Avengers Compound for the weekend to have a party with his friends. Pepper has been extremely helpful setting things up and letting you throw the party there. She’s a wonderful friend and you talk with her several times a week, glad to have a close female friend in your life again.

When the day finally arrives Bucky is a giant ball of nerves and you worry slightly that he’s going to wear himself out. The team at the center keeps things low key out of respect for him, bringing in a small cake and a single joint gift for him. He’s moved by their kindness and genuinely appreciates their efforts. He thanks each person quietly later, blushing under all the attention.

Dinner at his favorite Italian place is an equally subdued affair, just the two of you in a back corner booth away from the rest of the patrons. Bucky wants to relax and enjoy the perfect night with you but he’s so close to proposing that it’s all he can think of and wants the night to last as long as possible. When the tiramisu arrives he nibbles at it slowly, drawing out things just a little bit longer. He notices you getting impatient, “Getting a little restless?” He asks lightly.

You try to hide your frown, worrying about his present back at the apartment. “It’s fine. I just... I didn’t think dinner would take quite this long. We still have to get home so I can give you your gift.”

“Does it have an expiration date or something?” He jokes.

“Or something.”

Bucky shrugs, he knows he can't drag things on forever despite his nerves. He plans on proposing as soon as he gets his gift and can’t wait to see your face when you see your ring for the first time. You hurry through paying for your meal and drive as far over the speed limit as your dare on the way back, much to Bucky’s amusement.

Bucky might not have his full super soldier senses anymore but he hears a faint tapping sound as soon as you enter the apartment. He’s lost trying to place it as you lead him into the living room and have him sit on the sofa. Setting up your phone to record and placing it on the TV stand to capture the moment, you head back to the bathroom to collect his gift. Bucky is completely unprepared for what you return with.

The tiny brown and white King Charles Spaniel puppy is wriggling in your arms, the blue bow barely staying on its head as it tries to lick your hand. Bucky’s jaw drops open, stunned, as you bring the puppy over to him. “Happy birthday.” You say in a sing-song voice as you hand him the puppy.

“You got me a puppy?!” Bucky’s whole face lights up as soon as the puppy is in his arms and he’s holding it close to his face, letting himself be drowned by puppy kisses. The moment is filled with pure joy and you’re glad you remembered to set up the video on your phone to capture it. “Does he have a name?” Bucky asks, settling the pup on his lap to pet him and ruffle his ears.

“Not yet. He’s your gift, I figured you should get the honors.” You tell him.

“Hmm. What about Poe?”

“That’s unique. I really loved Poe’s work when I was younger too. Annabel Lee was one of my favorites.”

“Uh. Yeah. Me too.” Bucky looks sheepish and his cheeks are tinged red by more than just puppy kisses.

“You didn’t mean the author, did you?”

“I loved his character in The Force Awakens and then he just gets even better in the next two movies!”

“You are such a nerd!”

“Come on! Poe is brave and loyal, what better name for a dog?”

“I just didn’t realize what a giant nerd you were. Out of all the movies you’ve watched and all the books you’ve read getting caught up on the 20th century, and somehow Star Wars became your default?”

“It’s an epic love story! And then it becomes so much more than that too. You watched them with me, so if I’m a nerd you’re one too.”

You’re laughing so hard you can barely breathe and it’s freaking out Poe who’s wiggling his little butt trying to go check on you. You hold up your hands in defeat and stifle your giggles. “Fine, fine. At least we’ll be nerds together.”

Bucky is still fawning over his new pet and you wonder if the poor little guy will ever be put down around him. “He’s perfect, mouse. How did you pull this off?”

“Well, you kinda fell down a rabbit hole of looking at puppies online last month after you saw that SPCA ad. You kept showing me pictures of this breed, remember?”

“They just have the cutest faces. And these floppy ears!” Bucky all but smooshes his face against Poe’s and you can’t help but gawk over what a big softie he is around the pup.

“I know... I know... So I called around the local shelters until I found this little guy who had been brought in as a newborn. He was technically ready for adoption on Monday but they agreed to hold him for me until today. Martha ran out to get him while we were at dinner. I knew the motorcycle was going to be a tough gift to top but I think this worked out.”

“This is better than the motorcycle, he’s so perfect. You always know just what to get me.”

“Happy birthday, babe.” You move closer to Bucky so you can give him a kiss and Poe does his best to hop up and join in. You both laugh and give him all your attention again.

“So, remember I told you I was going to get myself a gift this year?” Bucky asks. His tone is off, suddenly low and hesitant.

You nod, “Yeah. I told you, you should get it, whatever it was. It’s good you want to do something for yourself.”

“I didn’t get it yet. I need your help actually.”

“Okay, whatever you need.”

Bucky hands you Poe and slides down onto the floor in front of you. His hands are shaking when he pulls the small black box from his pocket and you swear your brain short circuits when you realize what he’s doing.

“After HYDRA took me in ‘44 I stopped thinkin’ about my future. Didn’t see the point of it, even after Steve got me out. There wasn’t a chance to do more than get through one battle, then the next, and then even after that it was missions with Steve and gettin’ through one day at a time. After Steve... well, you know what happened. But then came you. And you pushed me and challenged me to stop and think about the future. You have been so patient, and kind, and unbelievably strong while I figure things out and now I can’t stop thinking about the future. Our future. So now it’s my turn to ask you somethin’. Y/N, will you do me the honor of being my wife?” Bucky flips the box open revealing the ring and your breath catches in your throat.

Inside the box is the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen. You know it’s custom made because its pattern and metals are identical to Bucky's arm. The sizable diamond in the middle is a light grey-blue that’s reminiscent of his eyes and you wonder who made this perfect creation that is Bucky in ring form. You realize you still haven’t answered and jump, startling all three of you. “Yes, I’ll marry you. Yes.” You say in a rush.

Bucky lets out a relieved, happy sigh and pulls himself up on the sofa to take you in his arms. Poe wiggles away before he’s squished and is bouncing up and down next to you as Bucky pulls you onto his lap and slides the ring on your finger. It feels surprisingly delicate and the way it catches in the light makes tears well in your eyes all over again. You’re both crying and kissing and you realize your video is still going. Laughing, you show the ring to the camera and then shut it off.

“Now we have both moments on video.” You tell Bucky who is still grinning ear to ear. Settling back on the sofa so you can cuddle in with him and Poe you finally ask him, “So, who made this? It’s perfectly you.”

Bucky nods in agreement, “It better look like me, it’s from me. Well, the arm technically. Shuri was able to get the metal from a few different places on my arm and made the ring from that. You literally have a piece of me now. And the stone is from the royal vault, Shuri insisted we use it.”

“I need to thank her next time we talk, it’s amazing. I love it. I love you.” You lean into kiss him again and Poe yips. “Yes, I love you too Poe. I can’t forget, we’re a family of three now.”

“God, I love the way that sounds.”

“Me too. So does everyone know you were planning this or do we have announcements to make?”

“Announcements are needed, I want to show off this little guy to the gang anyway. Shuri, T’Challa, and their mother know about the ring but not that I planned on giving it to you today.”

“Why don’t we make a quick video and send it to your group chat? Then everyone can find out about Poe and the engagement all at once. We need to call Pepper and make sure she’s okay with us bringing him up this weekend though.”

Bucky grabs his phone and you make a quick thirty second video showing off your ring and Poe, and send it off to the group. A minute later both of your phones are exploding with messages from your friends congratulating you both. Pepper actually demands you bring Poe along for the weekend so that’s settled, and you get a video call from Shuri who needs more details and to ensure you love her creation.

Bucky settles into bed that night with you curled up against his chest and Poe resting behind his bent knees. It hits him that he’s surrounded by love, by his family. He’s amazed by how quickly his life took a different turn after Steve died. It’s been six months and he’s gone from existing out of habit to really living and having a family to call his own. Bucky can’t imagine what the next six months will bring but he’s looking forward to finding out with you and Poe by his side.

Tag List Lovelies: @my-current-fandom-is @blacklightguidesnic @amazonianbeauty@ladyemofhousestark@abswritesfandoms@rupestria @dark-night-sky-99

#Bucky Barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #james buchanan barnes #Winter Soldier #marvel #Marvel Avengers #marvel fanfic #Marvel fangirl #MARVEL FANDOM #what he wants

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