#also I think I'm more anxious than I would otherwise be because when we feel really good for a while

[thethingything]

hmm our brain has made the jump from "wow cooking earlier was awesome! I can't wait to do that more when I have the energy for it again" to "if I can cook every so often people are going to think I should be able to cook for myself all the time and not take me seriously when I'm too fatigued/in too much pain/etc and we're gonna be expected to do stuff we can't do" and started getting anxious and like, hopefully that's not gonna be the case because yeah as much as I want to I definitely can't do this every day so now I'm just trying to reassure or brain that we're not gonna suddenly be expected to do a bunch of stuff without assistence

[fafodill]

On Snape depriving himself sexually...

SO, I got hyperfocused and I hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I needed only one person to tell me they were interested so thank you @severus-snaps haha. And thank you @wisteria-lodge for encouraging me !

This is a continuation of my previous post about Snape's relation with intimacy. I'm always a sucker for the pent up and deprived trope and I feel like Snape could fit the profile perfectly. Of course this is complete HC, as we literally have zero information about him having any personal life whatsoever so... pure speculation and meta discussion. Let's have fun, buckle up, here is why I think he'd make a great candidate for it :

Early teens: Many of us tend to interpret Snape as sexually inexperienced. This of course comes partly from his unpopularity in school, a time where teenagers start experimenting a bit. It's hard to imagine the little scrawny greasy potion nerd getting a lot of action. Though I'm open to thinking something might have happened here and there. I mean, girls also like smart and scrawny guys, I would love to read a fic where a Ravenclaw or Slytherin has a crush on him and he's utterly clueless because he's too engrossed in his books and when he realizes he's so flustered and clumsy about it. And they snog in the library and he's so afraid of getting caught by Mrs Pince. But being consistently bullied would have hurt his reputation, thus making people avoid being associated with him to not become targets as well. Also, his bullies were good-looking guys and it may have contributed to highlighting his bad looks in the public eye way more than if he had been left alone. And just with the nickname alone, but you won't tell me James and Sirius never insulted his nose, his hair, his complexion or his thin frame.

So one of the first core belief that might have emerged and latched itself to his sexuality would have been: I'm ugly/repelling.

But we don't have any proof in canon that he wasn't interested in romantic/sexual interactions back then. For all we know, he was a socially awkward teenager going through puberty. Even if he was certainly anxious and angry due to the bullying, he was still going through the same hormone cocktail as everyone.

HC : I've been wondering how the students find places to masturbate in peace and of course we don't exactly know why he invented the Muffliato charm but give me a Snape who was too whimpery to be completely silent and used it for this.

Post SWM though, I think it's safe to assume the trauma scared him unconsciously regarding the subject. Being perceived before wasn't easy, as he was aware he wasn't exactly good-looking and his self-esteem was impacted for sure, but after... oh boy. I can imagine him so traumatized that the mere idea of undressing in the vicinity of people was making his blood freeze. This may have led to hygiene issues as well, or only feeling safe to shower in the dead of night or at times where the dormitories where utterly empty. The shame linked to having his body and underwear exposed could have definitely stunned his sexual awakening as it happened at such a crucial age. How can you safely explore your own sexuality if every time you think about how ugly you are and that so many people saw your body and laughed at it ? (and the adults doing nothing to punish the people who did that hammered the beliefs that he was indeed laughable)

So second core belief added: I'm ridicule.

Also the SWM incident might have triggered his need to cover/shield his body from head to toe at all time and nobody can convince me otherwise.

At the very least I imagine masturbating would then be heavily linked to the anger and shame of that moment. The memory would either unlock or at least impact it unconsciously in some way, marking the act with a profound bitterness or stopping it altogether. The result: every time his body would ask for attention, he'd be overcome with very intense traumatic feelings and have no idea how to deal with them; so he'd start recoiling instinctively from any sexual thought. Also, since undressing/changing clothes became a triggering act, being even partially nude to touch himself would also stress him immensely.

So instead of indulging, he'd start developing coping mechanisms like focusing on anything else that brought him a sense of pleasure to trick his brain : potions, the dark arts, creating spells etc.

And of course, we can assume that even if someone was trying to approach him at that point, he'd recoil like a wounded animal, expecting mockery and reacting very aggressively.

After Hogwarts: We don't know what might have happened during his 3-4 years after school. We have a lot of creative space, though we know he got a Potion Mastery (??) so he must have studied somewhere and he was active within the DE circles. As @maxdibert pointed in a few posts - which I think is an astute point - the Dark Lord was aware of the affection/attraction Severus had felt towards Lily and, to prove his disinterest, he might have engaged with a few pureblood women. We could speculate on different situations here (and if anyone's interested we could explore this), but as I'm going for deprived!Snape, I'd say it wasn't helpful. At this point he's a young adult, torn between his inexperience and his limboing self-esteem. On top of that he's a deeply proud individual, obsessed with controlling the way he's being perceived. He's already occlumenting his emotions to remain safe, and well, engaging sexually does require some sort of vulnerability he isn't capable of at that point.

Maybe he said some harsh things to his partners when confronted with his clumsiness (even if they were kind), maybe he got bit back (and deserved it). He'd use these instances as confirmation bias to convince himself intimacy wasn't something emotionally safe, interesting nor even remotely pleasant enough.

Then there's Lily's death, and I personally don't see her as having a lot of influence on his sexuality directly (except maybe for the fact that when he had feelings for her, he might have felt she was 'too pretty for him', which fed the first core belief), but it did fuel a ton the last core belief which is : I'm undeserving (because I'm a bad person).

The undeserving part existed prior to her death. It stemmed from his upbringing (undeserving of care), of his social status (undeserving of material comfort), his blood status (undeserving of opportunities), his social awkwardness (undeserving of friendship), his special interest in the dark arts (undeserving of respect).

Lily's death crystallized such deep guilt inside of him that he devoted his life after that to atoning. I'm a firm believer that there's a clear before and after regarding the way he treated his body. Not that things were drastically different, but it made it worse. He ate less, slept less and touched himself even less. Probable not at all for a good few months, maybe even up to a year or so as he was extremely stressed from his new job, depressed and overcomed with grief. Honestly, at that point in his life he was barely functioning.

Then we have his adult life at Hogwarts: at that point in his life he's working and living where his worst trauma occurred. Not great for healing. During those years, he mastered the art of shutting down with occlumency everything he couldn't deal with, including his body's basic needs. He had excuses for everything. Sleeping? How could he rest when he had so much work to do dealing with the little shitheads and that infuriating Headmaster? Eating? Pfft, he had been fine all his childhood, so now he'd eat what he needed to function, but craving something and getting it wasn't something he'd allow himself. Masturbating? Tricky part, because he almost never thought about it anymore. He would not even treat it as a basic need. Like, sleep and food were still required to function, even in limited amount or he would pass out, but he could function without sex. Bottom line is, deep down he would feel undeserving of any sort of pleasure.

Rewarding his body, taking care of it wasn't allowed. It was part of his self-inflicted punishment.

But it would be still natural for his body to seek sexual release from time to time. He'd have hard-ons sometimes in the morning and ignore it until it went away, maybe take a cold shower or - why not - even take a potion he'd have invented to calm it down (or worse, to make it hurt so it would go down, if you want to go the masochistic way). The way I see it, every time he'd have an unwanted sensual/sexual thought (oh, this person at the Three Broomsticks has disarmingly pretty lips, this other person's got very elegant hands, or this one's hips look live they're meant to be grabbed), he'd shut it down immediately.

Fantasizing wouldn't be pleasant either. Each time, it would trigger the self-depreciating thoughts. Who are you fooling ? This person would never touch you, never look at you. And if they did, you wouldn't deserve it and would fuck it up anyway. Faceless people then, but it would still always be tainted with the ghost of years of bitterness, loneliness and unmet needs. So it'd be easier to pretend he doesn't have them or doesn't care. Of course this would do nothing to soothe his sour mood (and here talking from experience: I've been sexually frustrated quite a lot in my twenties, and I can definitely say that the mental relief you feel alongside the physical release when you get it is quite something. Like, I'd be a changed person, just because chemically my brain would finally be swimming again in endorphins. So yeah, at that point in his life I believe he's in dire need of a good shag and is partly always on edge because of this).

And when he would indulge in masturbation, it'd be because he's too tired to fight it or just because he knows that if he does, his body would leave him alone for a while. It would be quick, mechanical, in the dark, the mess cleaned up immediately and then forgotten about. The less thinking involved, the better so it wouldn't trigger the core beliefs. Maybe it'd happen when being tipsy after a night out with the other professors, or just when he was too stressed or exhausted at the end of terms and it was his body's way of asking for a break and a distraction.

I think he'd be also more prone to having his sexual needs resurface when he's not at Hogwarts and the mental toll of being there isn't weighing on him (maybe during summer or maybe even if he goes into the Forbidden Forest to gather potion ingredients, or a trip to Diagon Alley). He would find it really annoying, not realizing how the two are linked.

Then how would he be dealing with the constant tension and redirecting the release ? (fun stuff)

I think he could get a sick pleasure from being able to not indulge for long periods of time, thriving on his sense of control. He'd maybe even feel shame when he finally does, chastising himself for being weak.

When too tired to notice, late at night in his office, his body would hijack control a little bit and he'd start rubbing himself unconsciously with one hand while correcting essays and immediately stop upon realizing.

He'd be a GREAT candidate for edging. Like telling himself that if there's no release it doesn't count and he could get some pleasure whilst still shaming and punishing himself. Maybe sometimes even without touching himself directly, just letting the fabric rub on him, while shifting his hips just a bit. A good compromise he wouldn't want to analyze too closely.

Being pent up all the time makes one irritable, so some of that tension is fueling his already short-tempered nature and getting out by lashing out at idiots. It would also be a way to... spill out but with words (classy I know).

I don't see him doing any sport to get endorphins and relieve tension (though he does prowl the castle at night, that counts as walking haha).

The only part of his body I could see him pay attention to would be his hands as he uses them for potion work. He could be proud of their dexterity and I can imagine him taking care of them. Like, once of twice a week he'd put a cream or an ointment (self-made ofc) and massage his fingers and palms. Nothing sexual about it but it would be the closest he has to a gentle self-touch.

But mostly, his sole source of pleasure would still come from focusing on his interests. Working all night on improving a new potion, loosing himself in the method and appreciating his own skills, or reading about and experimenting with the Dark Arts (I don't think he ever stopped seeking knowledge, which is why he was able to save Dumbledore's ass from Marvolo's ring). These two things are his private garden, something that's inherently his despite everything, and it would be his way of pleasuring himself in an acceptable way: intellectually.

But what about the people around him or potential partners ?

He'd hate any sexual jokes or comments about him or in general. Sexually open people would make him angry (jealous). It'd irk him. As it's such a loaded and repressed subject for him he'd see them as flaunting their unspoken good experiences. He'd try to unconsciously shame them into silence by telling them they're being inappropriate. At the end of the day, it's just his way of protecting himself because he wouldn't know how to navigate the conversation, and his pride wouldn't let him feel ridiculed again.

He would also hate being looked at, even clothed. People judging his body would definitely trigger the awful memory from SWM. He would struggle immensely to accept the possibility of being looked at in an appraising way. If someone was sincere and stubborn enough to convince him they're not lying, he'd be extremely confused and wary.

And if he was to be attracted to that person as well, he'd have to deal with an almost second puberty on top of his core beliefs. He'd be so clumsy, so out of touch with his body and very frustrated with all the unwanted sensations he's not used to deal with. And that's such an interesting and fascinating subject aaaah.

At the end of the day, deep down he doesn't believes he deserves pleasure or comfort in his life so a partner would have to be patient with him. There's a lot of strategies they could try and I'd be delighted to explore them but I'm gonna stop here because this essay is so long already haha. SO, in conclusion:

He needs a good shag.

Thank you for reading.

I'd love to discuss how it would go with different characters trying to approach him, or I could talk about the classic trope of losing control because of his short temper but with him deprived, so many possibilties aaah, I love it when he's angry AND horny AND clumsy-

Also, my current favorite oneshot of deprived!Snape here : Cursed into Temptation by @marvel-snape-writes (very smutty, amazing, I'm on my knees)

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

ONYX STORM SPOILERS (for your readers)

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If you feel like it, will you expand on how you think they are still involved romantically in the end of onyx storm? Like I get that they are married but that seems to more to secure Violet’s future without him. It doesn’t seem to be because he has any hopes of any kind of future for the two of them together. Romantically or otherwise. He doesn’t want her to look for him. Aren’t they as broken up as they can be at this point? I’d love to hear your thoughts (and love another/different perspective because these thoughts I’m currently having are honestly making me feel ill).

Also thank you for your contributions to the fandom!! Honestly I think fanfic is the only thing that’s gonna get me through this. Hope we get an upsurge of riorgail fluff from everyone 🙏🏼

I have never felt like doing anything more, anon!!! I get what you're saying, and I think that's the way Rebecca/Red Tower WANT us to see it, because they want us to be anxious about where it's going so that we buy the next book. However, I refuse to subscribe to that! Here's why:

(I wrote an actual essay, so it's below the cut:)

"Together romantically" My answer to the other ask was me visiting the Xaden Liarson school of verbal gymnastics so that I didn't spoil the ending for that anon. However, judging by Xaden's behavior throughout ALL of Onyx Storm (and frankly, books 1 and 2 as well) he wouldn't marry her just to dip overall. Like, even not being meta here, he wouldn't do that. He's selfish when it comes to her, for one thing, and he says this repeatedly. For another, he CLEARLY wants to marry her just to marry her. I don't want to get sucked in to another re-read (and someone else asked for my thoughts on the ending in general, so I'll reply to that ask once I'm done with my second re-read in the next few days with more page numbers and quotes and things) but in the scene with his mother, Xaden's reaction seems to illustrate that marriage is NOT a tool for him like it was for his father. He wants to marry Violet because he loves her. Now, obviously the shotgun (crossbow?) wedding was ALSO a move to protect her and solidify her place without him as you said, but with how he talked about marriage throughout the book, and how he talked about HER, he's not marrying her just to dip. He's just not! It means something to him, as she does, and he's not going to forsake that.

Violet Violet isn't letting him marry her just to dip either. Her thoughts throughout the entire book are that she isn't scared of him and she isn't running, and she isn't letting him run from her, either. The way the scene is set up with Sgaeyl, we see:

(Sgaeyl) glances over her shoulder. "And you think she'll help?" "She loves me." "Tairn does not, and you haven't looked in the mirror yet. The red veins branching from your eyes look like her lightning." "She'll help." It comes out with a hell of a lot more certainty than I feel. "She promised."

I am slightly worried about pronoun fuckery in this bit, but we know Violet loves him more than anything, and this portion of Xaden's chapter makes it clear Violet has to agree to whatever the plan is (murdering dragons, stealing eggs, etc) and that Tairn does as well. I think Tairn would actually support them breaking up, to a certain degree, and whatever the plan is, Sgaeyl does NOT think Tairn will be down.

And then, for more confirmation:

"We will ask," Sgaeyl finally says, flexing her claws in the rocky soil "And her decision will determine our fate."

They need Violet on board for whatever they're doing. Violet isn't going to be on board with him dumping her post wedding. I know some of these lines can point in other directions, but I don't think they do, for the reasons I'll go on to spell out below!

3. Memories I know some people were confused about what, precisely, Imogen made Violet forget, and it seems like she's missing 12 hours (which, insane signet growth, Im). I could not get over Violet forgetting her wedding. Hours after I finished the book, I was like, oh my God. She can't remember her wedding, and I burst into tears. Repeatedly. At length. Which is insane, because these books NEVER make me cry. All this to say, (again, given Xaden's tone specifically surrounding marriage) they aren't going to take having her forget their wedding lightly. They just aren't. She has to forget everything in those twelve hours, because she helps Xaden concoct/finalize whatever the hell he's planning on doing (I'll probably share what I think he's planning on doing in my response to the ask I mentioned above, but the gist of it for now is that mans is going on a quest of his own), but Violet ASKS Imogen to make her forget. In the marriage aspect, Xaden's protecting Violet, but in forgetting, Violet's protecting Xaden. This is why I say romantically together as well. I think the love is more important than anything else. I think the point of this book was to make it clear they'd both do absolutely anything for the other, and the ending is a culmination of that. I know some people suggested that they have her forget so that she can't be interrogated and used against him, and I think that's definitely true (although I think making her duchess also protects her from this, but Violet has always doubted her own ability to lie). Personally, my gut instinct interpretation was that deal she made with Ridoc that she'd let Ridoc kill him if Xaden took being venin too far (which, side note, do we all just forget about them being interconnected when it suits us??? He can't die because then Violet will die. We've been over this. I digress). Clearly everyone seems to think his little "display" at the end of the book is "too far." I don't know if he killed anyone important in that scene (again, I actually thought Bodhi dies? At first? And THAT was why she had to marry Xaden to secure the duchy while he was gone? but Red Tower seems to be very in tune to fandom priorities, and with how many people love Bodhi, killing him off page would certainly be a choice) but he's still at least an Asim, if not a Sage (given the veins, I'm 99% sure he's a Sage, but again, we don't get anything concrete in that ending. side eye, Red Tower. side eye.) and therefore everyone thinks he betrayed them, and he needs to get out of there before everyone else kills him! By forgetting, Violet is saving his life. That's romantically together to me.

4. Quest! Xaden doesn't leave Violet to pull an Edward and frolic around Europe for a few months or whatever it is. He has a plan. This what he shows Sgaeyl, I believe, and what Vi and Tairn have to agree on. It involves stealing the dragon eggs, killing the elders and/or the other dragons (save me third re-read of this damn scene, save me) and getting the hell out. @maethologies told me privately that the very act of going on the Quest means Xaden has hope for a "cure", just like Violet said he still had hope if he was trying to get Brennan to mend him. I think this is the Second Krovlan Uprising tie in: trade the dragon eggs (side note: why are there 7? did Andarna steal an egg and bring it back ????) and get allies against the venin (and eventually Navarre) (and perhaps do other cure-related tasks, idk). I also personally think Xaden's going to find more answers for Violet about her connection with Dunne. A huge theme of this book was that (explicitly) Xaden and Andarna don't know who they are, but Violet doesn't really know either. She spends book 3 helping them, and in book 4, I think they help her. Basically, he returns to the isles for quest part 2! Also, I think bringing 3 riders with him is a clear sign he's not just dipping. I'm hoping my second re-read helps me finalize who the hell he brought with him besides Garrick, but if they go to the isles like I'm thinking, my moneys on Dain or Aaric for the language translation (both of whom love Violet). I have a variety of other quest nonsense to share in the other ask, but the gist of it is that he is moving with a purpose! And his purpose is Violet! Because he's in love with her!

5. Meta This is where I get a LITTLE messy. I don't know if everyone reading this saw my 2024 reading wrap up, but I have read the vast majority of RY's catalog, and I consider myself to be very familiar with the themes she likes to write, and the situations she likes to return to, over and over again. A HUGE focus for her is the war in Afghanistan. She's been obsessed with that for ten years, which makes complete sense given who she is and her lived experiences. If you happen to not be super familiar with Rebecca as a person, her husband was in the military for a very long time, and her primary sub-genre is military romance. I don't know if this carries over internationally, but in the United States, marrying your partner early on in your military career is incredibly common, because it protects them in the event of your death and while you're deployed. I was really upset about him marrying her and then immediately leaving at first, but when I thought about it, it makes complete sense for who Rebecca is and what she's gone through. I'm not trying to accuse her of self inserting or anything like that, but she clearly likes to write situations that are important to her (as do I! As do we all!) and so it makes sense to me that she'd call upon something like this for X and V. It does NOT make sense to me that she'd call upon something she went through with her husband she's still married to and then make it a break up. Will it cause tension? Obviously! But to quote Mr. Riorson himself, they're past the break up stage. (Rebecca does some silly things with foreshadowing in her books, and sometimes she says things like this to prove them wrong, and other times, she says things like this prove them right. I really think this is a "prove them right" scenario, but I'm basing that off vibes, frankly, and my knowledge of her body of work. My Rebeccca-dar, if you will.)

6. Xaden Liarson I see your point about the note, and maybe I'm deranged, but I do actually just think he's lying. I don't think he's stupid enough to think she won't come looking for him at this point. He knows her too well for that. I think the "don't come looking for me" or whatever it is is a cover up for everyone else who thinks he betrayed Tyrrendor. Also, it slows her down! I am certain she'll look for him eventually (peep her broken compass from the god of luck, anyone?), but the note + the memory wiping make it so she can't immediately go looking for him. I think that's the point of it, not that she never looks for him again.

To conclude this literal essay, I think they're still together romantically because of Riorgail's most up-to-date characterization on their own and dynamic together, as well as who Rebecca is as a writer. I actually could probably write another essay on this, and I probably will in the other ask, but if there's anything else, let me know!! I need to bleed this book out of me so I can be normal again. But even if they are "broken up", it doesn't matter long term. The five book series WILL end with them together. That's how romantasy works. Xaden isn't dying. Violet isn't dying. Everyone else is fair game, but those two are fine, LOL.

Also, you are SO welcome for fic, always. I am not a fluff girly, unfortunately. I don't really write it in general, but we'll see if I get possessed. I do have a girl dad Xaden fic in the works (in which I have to re-work their wedding....) and I have some new smut ideas I want to write sometime soon! I think that will scratch the itch for me, anyway! As I've mentioned throughout this post, my hangover cure of choice has been to dive right back into Onyx Storm again, and I honestly think that was the best idea for me. I didn't do that after Iron Flame because I thought it was somehow "bad" to do so, and then I just longed for these characters for months. But, you do you! I wanted to make a masterpost of my hangover cure recs, but we'll see if I ever get to it. If you've read this far I am personally giving you a virtual gold star.

[everestgale]

I SLIDE U SMITTEN ACROSS THE FLOOR FOR THE CHARACTER ASK STUFF -OWL

SMITTEN OUR BELOVED...

[Send Me a Character and I'll List Ask Game]

favorite thing about them

Smitten is so full of love! And he is so open about his love! He loves the Princess no matter what she looks like, no matter what she does to you, how much hurt she inflicts on you. He will always love her! He is so passionate, so devoted to her, even to his own detriment-

Yes, my favorite thing about Smitten is how absolutely deranged and passionate he is. No, I am not sorry /lh

least favorite thing about them

This is less "least favorite thing about him" and more about disliking how some people misunderstand him as possessive and malicious in HEA. He is unhealthy and flawed, and he caused harm, absolutely, but he is not doing anything in HEA from the place of malice, and I will die on that hill <3

favorite line

"Oh, just you wait and see! My vengeance will echo the depths of my bereavement!"

brOTP

I really like the Grey Brothers (Skeptic + Smitten), I like the idea of them having a weird sibling-ish bond, but in a "distant sibling who you don't talk to much because you two are so different... but it's nice to chat and catch up sometimes, and you are still there for each other if you really need one another" kind of way.

OTP

Ironically, I don't actually ship Smitten all that much... who am I kidding, the answer is CheatedSmitten, and I really need to draw more of them when my wrist recovers, or I will EXPLODE-

(If you'd like a reason, a friend wrote a very nice description on how this ship would play out, and I've been rotating it in my head for a few weeks. Smitten, the kind of person to extend his heart wide open, but also to probably wonder if he will ever be enough after he disastrously failed with HEA... and Cheated, the guy who repeatedly failed over, and over, and over, and over, someone who would understand this feeling of not being enough- Okay, I gotta stop, otherwise it will take over this whole post)

nOTP

Definitely not a nOTP, it's just that out of popular Smitten ships, I have a very hard time imagining Smittunist (Smitten/Opportunist), and it's entirely because of how I designed and how I write both of them. In fact, I actually really like seeing how other people write and/or draw that ship!! So it's decisively a "me" and "my designs/interpretations" problem 💔

random headcanon

People-pleaser Smitten. You can see it throughout this entire post, I'm very deep in the "people-pleaser Smitten" headcanon mine, and I can't get out of it /lh

unpopular opinion

Once again, don't know how unpopular it is, but I think specifically in the Unknown Together ending, where Smitten knows that she left with the Long Quiet, while he would be sad for a while over the fact that the Princess is gone, he will eventually bounce back, accept the fact that she is happily with "the big guy" somewhere, wherever that might be, and then choose to extend his over-the-top loving self to other people (mainly, his fellow voices) <3

...this is specifically for the Unknown Together endings. If we're talking about A New and Unending Dawn... well, we get an entirely different Smitten.

song i associate with them

It's more of a mixed HEA + Smitten song, but there is no other song that I associate with Smitten more than this one, so "Predator" by The Crane Wives it is!

"What were you thinking? Shouldn't you know better? You took advantage of another anxious people pleaser"

I'm kind of obsessed with how these lines fit well as HEA singing about Smitten... but also as Smitten singing to the Long Quiet, or rather, you, the player, for choosing to stay in the cabin and create this "Happily Ever After" ending... only to be dissatisfied with it.

favorite picture of them

This is what happens when the character we're talking about is a disembodied voice who has no canon design. So! How about my favorite drawing of him, which is this illustration with the Damsel. Look at them! They are so happy :]

Ignore the fact that it's part of the illustration set and in the rest of the illustrations they are not so happy, that's not what the question was asking!

[hyperactivetransdrone]

Blog Intro

So after looking through several peoples profiles I noticed that introductory posts were pretty common (at least for nsfw sooo here we gooooo)

I'm adding this later on 8/18/24: If (majority) your content is s**sy and your DMing me to try to dominate me, Don't. While I don't mind people who do that/are into that being called that feels like a sexualization of my identity and ergo 1: I hate 2: is disgusting to me, I don't mind if you Identify as one or if you DO just wanna CASUALLY chat but please know that I won't and will never want that or say that word (with the exception of blocking tags involving it or here as a boundary) but if i need to it will be censored. I don't mind if you Identify as one and wanna follow me or anything or just wanna casually chat (or talk sexual just not... making me one to try to explain) feel free to I will NEVER kink shame regardless of how I feel so this won't apply to most people just a very very teeny tiny minority. I won't block you tho unless you cross a boundary or keep pushing, because I feel anyone who wants to read my content should be allowed.

I would also like to say, if you're going to delete your account please don't dm me, it breaks my heart every time

Hello I do not wish to give out my actual name online so you may call me Mz. Hyde (I stole it from the song by the same name by Halestorm) or just... my user-name-tag-thing (always forget what its called)

I am all for Sentient AI but HATE current AI (it doesnt even deserve to be called that)

Outside of this post any posts in blue is rping as a slime-girl-queen-goddess-character. Feel free to send asks or responses directed at her. Her title is Queen of Slimes, The Slime Goddess, or The Slime of the Lake

As of posting this I am still brand new to Tumblr but am learning somewhat quickly sooo things may look A Little odd right now to the average Tumblr user but as soon as I finish learning the basics it should look fine.

Anyway:

19 so 18+ only please, (pre-hrt) Transfem, Bisexual, Autisic+ADHD, overall anxious/shy-ish, probably a switch, Lefty, Type 1 Diabetic (I require insulin to survive), Virgin [:(]

Majority of this blog will be kinky thoughts usually about being dommed or hypno because... I wanna try it. SOME is fantasy tho so keep that in mind (usually my reblogs)

If you are a dom looking for money, unless you are popular and have a good community on here or if you are a s**sy tamer (or whatever it would be called) please don't DM me, unless you just wanna casually chat and don't wanna dom me or if you do please respect:

I really don't like being called an s**sy and will give you one warning before I block you.

I literally have no way to pay you so please don't expect that.

Please read this first, or if I ask you to because otherwise that gives me a red flag in my head and I will probably block you. (Unless it's just casual talking but that's different than what I'm talking about here)

My proof that I take this seriously:

Kinks because that seems to be an important factor on making these types of posts/blogs: Transformation, Hypnosis, Dronification, Denial/Edging, Latex, Brainwashing, Bimbofication, Twinning, Dollification, Forniphilia, Exhibition

Things I enjoy but aren't kinks: Forced Fem, Praise, Good Girl (I'll add more when I think of them)

Limits or things that I will block you about: Human Waste, Blood, Physical Harm, IRL Identity Death (Fantasy is hot AF tho), Sissy (WILL BLOCK YOU), Findom (Unless we're in a romantic relationship), (and a few more I can't remember off the top of my head)

The reason for physical harm being a limit is mostly due to personal problems I've had with S.H. and because of that I hate reading S.H. or other stories or fantasies with physical harm or knifes. Fantasy Violence is ok though. (E.G. Pirates or like a battle between two warrior framed in a Fictional light.) Oh and also no needles. BIG fear of needles, for multiple reasons. Will go in depth if asked.

Finally a few final things about me/general questions:

This is my first Tumblr account that is SPECIFICALLY for NSFW things although I will occasionally post more SFW things but I do love music, video games, card/board games, RPGs/TTRPGs, creative writing, art.

What's your Favorite Color?: I don't have one but my fav combo is Hot Pink and Deep Purple, pretty much if you've ever seen those BIC octagonal see-through pens, those shades of pink and purple specifically

What kinda music do you like?: Power Metal, Rock, some Pop

What video games do you play?: Some Pokemon, Batman: Arkham, Smash Ultimate, Fallout, I can't really get online games yet so unfortunately I cannot play with anyone :'(

Is there anything specific you like about your kinks?: Honestly, in a vacuum I like dronification for productivity because I SUCK at doing anything productive.

The people who have sent questions about Gaza Support (i am broke but here are links to them i am just going to put their profiles for the sake of simplicity and nc some links i cant copy paste):

@ehabayyad23

@freepaleatine95

@mahmoudayyad

@esraayyad14

@ezzaldeens-blog

@foggyruinspost

@ahmed4palestine

@sspsworld

@fidaa-family2

@wafaaresh6

@mahmoudswierh2

@generousvioonanuttieyl

@nishverian

@ahmedalnabeeh11

@shinytastemakerphantom

@nohabed

@ahmaad860

@scentedtyrantmusic

@mahrahpalestine

@d-imtthal

@ayoosh-gaza

@kareem-family2

@save-fatma-gaza3093

@yazan-joud2

Tags to find non-reposts easier (Umm i ran out of colors so these will be bold):

#Random Thoughts, #Edging kink (for post horny thoughts), #Hornyposting (for horny thoughts), #Hydes eepy thoughts (for thoughts i have when sleep deprived), #Hydes Ideas (cool ideas i have), #Hydes Hypno Scripts (for Hypnotic Scripts I make), #Hydes QnA (QnA), #Hydes Depressed Thoughts (Thoughts I have when depressed), #Hydes Kinky Thoughts (thoughts I have that are just generally kinky but it's not hornyposting nor... I forgot what I was going to put here), #Hydes Hypno Scripts (My hypnosis scripts), #Slimeposting (Slime Queen RP posts), #Hydes loving words (to my significant other)

If I get any FAQ I'll either add them here or to a FAQ post.

I now have a sideblog for latex things that look perfect. That is an opinion and just a kink the person they are under the latex is, in my opinion, someone different so anything there that I call 'perfect' is just in terms of kinkiness NOT a reflection of the actual person. The blog is: @trans2latexperfection

If you read this far thank you for reading!!! :3

Blocked Users (i dont normally block people so these people are scammers or assholes, also will not be using @ s either here):

mistress-elizabethh - for calling me a s**sy twice, even after claiming to read pinned

[blushingwife]

I've Got You - a soft!Ghost x OC short story

When I say I'm very anxious about posting this, I mean I'm *deathly* anxious. HOWEVER. I'm so very proud of myself for completing this. You did it, hun :) This is what I've chosen to kickstart my "writing career". I decided to indulge in my deepest guilty pleasure: soft!Ghost. My teenage self would gag at how cheesy this is but you know what? She was lying to herself because she loved the cheesy stuff. There's something in me that wants to keep writing for her. So I think I will. I hope someone enjoys this as much as I loved writing it. More to come. CW: some self-deprecating thoughts. Otherwise, just pure unadulterated fluff.

Failing at his attempt to not panic was causing Simon to panic even more. It wasn’t the first time he’d felt scared in this relationship with Liz. The initial few weeks had been a constant battle with himself to stop believing she would leave once she realized his facade was a scam. A feeling had nagged at the back of his mind telling him he was a fool to trust her. That he was setting himself a trap. Then, the first time they’d argued with intensity, he’d been ready to end it and spare her from the effort and pain. But, truthfully, the thought of leaving was more painful than feeling unworthy of her. They both wished to do better. He’d apologized. She’d apologized. They’d basked in each other’s company after that and realized the experience had brought them closer to understanding how to make it work.

In time, his instincts calmed down. He learned to lean on her when he needed support and also to be her support as needed. So the current rising panic in his gut brought him to those first months and he did not like it one bit.

He kept playing with the loop of his black tie, never quite satisfied with its position. Liz’s younger brother was getting married, the first in the family. Everyone was coming, no matter how remotely they knew the bride and groom. Simon had never been anyone’s plus one before. Was convinced he’d never be. But as he raised his eyes from his neck to the deep brown irises of his reflection in the mirror in front of him, he remembered all of this was as real as it was gonna get. And after today, it would be official. All her family would know they were together.

“You’re fidgeting,” Liz’s voice said behind him. He forced the tension in his neck away with a quick roll of his shoulders.

“’M not” He dropped his arms as a pair of hands rounded his waist and then her weight settled on his back.

“Right.” He could almost feel her amused smirk. “You’re not.”

He raised his arm and reached back, inviting her forward. Liz slid underneath it to his side, never leaving the embrace. She raised her hand to his tie, arranging it exactly to where he wanted it to be, then glanced at him.

“You look handsome.” She kissed his cheek. Simon leaned his head toward her but kept staring into the mirror, into that maskless face that was supposed to be him but felt like someone else.

She ducked her head into his neck as she studied him through the mirror, trying to guess what it was that kept Simon’s attention.

“It’ll be okay,” she whispered. That made Simon divert her eyes to her reflection. “Whatever you’re worried about. It’ll be okay.”

He turned his head to her real self, getting trapped in the depths of her eyes. He swallowed the urge to deny her statement, out of habit. It was still not easy to believe that she actually meant her words. “Yeah,” he agreed, then pressed a light kiss on her lips.

“I’ll be with you,” she said, pressing her palm to his chest. “You know that, right?”

He nods, shifting his stance toward her to pull her into a hug that he felt deep into his soul. The knot in his stomach relaxed when she didn’t press for further explanations. He should tell her what was going through his head. He’d always felt better when she knew. This wouldn’t be any different. Would it?

“Come on,” she pushed him back gently. “We need to get going.”

As they separated, Simon kept his grip on her hand and followed her out of their apartment into the elevator to the garage. They were silent the whole time but she drew small circles in his hand with her thumb. It grounded him. Left room in his mind meanwhile to gather the courage to tell her why he was anxious.

She offered him the car keys as they approached her vehicle. He tilted slightly his head at her as a silent question and she shrugged.

“Not really in the mood to drive,” she explained scrunching her nose. Simon took the keys as Liz dropped them in his hand, then entered the driver’s seat, started the engine and began the ride.

Liz spent most of the silent trip sparing brief glances at him, hoping she wasn’t making him too uncomfortable with her observation. He was gripping the steering wheel too hard almost since they had left. For a whole minute she thought she might have been paranoid, seeing things that weren’t there out of a desire to understand, but she’d watched him enough to know the difference between him being alert and being nervous. Something was bothering him. None of her theories were enough to bring proper conclusions.

“Simon?”

His hands relaxed in an unconscious reflex. His eyes moved for a second toward her before turning to the road ahead.

“Are you okay?” she asked. He rolled his shoulders again, giving her a nonchalant look.

“Sure” She glanced down. Wrong question to ask.

She looked at him for a long time, unable to figure out her next words. How to help him. None of the sentences she thought about seemed decent enough. He would shut down or lie. She swallowed a sigh. It was beyond frustrating. Feeling like being there for him wasn’t enough.

“What?” he asked and arched an eyebrow at her once he noticed she’d been staring. She pursed her lips into a slight smile.

“I love you.”

She had said it so easily he was unable to hide his own grin. His scalp and cheeks warmed. He switched his own palm from the wheel to underneath hers as it rested on her leg and clenched it firmly. Something inside his body stirred uncontrollably every time he heard those words. He wanted to think his actions talked louder. That he always demonstrated his love for her through small daily acts. Trying to say it out loud still felt scathing. Like it would become a duty he needed to step up for while in reality he had nothing to offer. And yet, when he dared ask her why she had not given up on him, her answer was always the same: she didn’t want anything else.

He straightened in his seat as he realized. Yes, he was still scared. Of not being worthy of it. Of fucking it all up. If he said it… there was no going back. But wasn’t he already too far down at this point?

The sound of the GPS reminded him they were arriving at the venue.

The crowd started from the parking lot. Not even minding the unrelenting heat of the sun above their heads, little groups of people talked and laughed while others headed toward the yard or restaurant beside it. Simon chose to park further down, a bit more isolated from where most cars were. He switched off the engine, glancing to his left at the building as Liz stepped outside. Too many people to meet. Would they consider him enough for her, like Liz did? He didn’t want to know.

Liz had walked out and to his side of the car. Her eyes were on him, expectant. He stood, closed the car behind him, then took Liz’s hand in his. As he started walking, Liz pulled him back.

Simon swung to her as she dug inside her tiny party purse and brought out a carefully folded piece of black cloth with white paint.

“I brought it for you,” she said, as she offered his old ghost mask. Simon blinked, tempted by the offer to hide behind his usual facade. He shook his head and she tilted hers to the side, inquisitive. He was not about to turn back on his decision.

“I want to make a good impression on your family.”

She frowned.

“They already know you.”

For the last couple of years, her family had already hosted several Christmas parties and other gatherings to which the 141 was invited. Yes, they’d met Ghost. But they hadn’t met Simon.

“It’s not the same.”

She watched him, as she usually did and only put aside the mask in her purse when Simon pushed her hand down in confirmation. Then, she closed the distance between them as he glanced to the ground. She lifted her hands to his cheeks and forced him to look at her.

“Why not?”

“It just isn’t”

She caressed his cheeks with her thumbs. “Okay. Well… You know you’ve already made a good impression, right?”

He slid his arms around her in silence, holding on to the comfort of her presence.

“They have loved having you around. A mask didn’t make a difference.” She leaned forward, bringing his forehead to hers. His frown deepened Liz’s own. Her heart accelerated in silent outrage.

“Do you know why I know?” she asked. He waited.

“Because wearing it or not, I still see the same man I fell in love with.”

He swallowed thickly. Closing the distance to her lips with his own, he savored her sweet taste like a man drinking in a desert oasis. When they parted for air, Simon leaned into her neck and closed his eyes, trying to print the memory of her scent into his brain as she slid her arms above his shoulders.

“I’ve got you, okay?”

He nods as she strokes his scalp soothingly. She was in no hurry.

“I love you too,” he said, after a while, before the impulse grew weaker.

Her grin lit up her whole face.

“I know.”

When they separated, she was the one to kiss him one last time before walking toward the venue hand in hand, his step lighter than what she had seen for the entire day.

As they made their way toward the entrance, Simon instantly recognized Liz’s mother, Mrs. Hale, a woman in a pale green floral dress with a slight hunch, gray hair in a high bun and still commanding her surroundings with a kind smile. Judging by her welcoming stance and eagerness to spare a greeting to everyone passing, she had taken the role of greeter and guide, pointing out areas of the venue. When Liz and Simon came in, almost the last ones in the queue, the woman immediately lit up at his sight.

“My! Dear, how wonderful to see you again,” she said, going straight for a hug towards a stunned Simon. As far as he remembered, the woman had never seen him before without his mask.

“Good to know you missed me, Mum” Liz retorted with a chuckle “You know I always do but him, I don’t see him that often.” They parted and it was Liz’s turn for a motherly hug.

“How’d you know who I was?”

The woman turned to Simon again with a wide grin, the skin around her eyes wrinkling deeper but in the same way that Liz did when she smiled.

“How could I not?” she waves away his puzzled expression as if it were obvious what she meant. “Dear, let me introduce you to the other side of the family, come, you two,” she urged, then walked further inside without concern about the last of the guests she hadn’t greeted.

Liz felt Simon’s hesitation but she squeezed his hand and when he looked at her, she nodded again to let him know she would be right beside him. Always.

[rose-riot-johnson]

Hello my Tumblr Peeps😀👍I finally decided to work on a fanfic with non other than Jujutsu Kaisen's very own Aoi Todo, as the staring character, so enjoy🌟

📱C'mon Babe! It Was Only A Misunderstanding!📱((Adult) Aoi Todo x Any Gender Reader)

Genres: Misunderstanding Type of Angst, Understanding Type Of Comfort, Communication Comfort, Kissing, and Fluff (Warning⚠️: Mentions Of The Reader Taking A Bath and Anything up to the reader's Imagination)

"What did I do wrong? Why did my babe get upset with my text message to (him/her/them)", Aoi Todo thought to himself, as he was feeling more than anxious. He tried to call you, however he hung up, because of the fact you weren't answering your cellphone, he was scared to wait until the last ring to see, if you would answer your cellphone, and he ended up not expecting you to him back.

Both you and Todo met when the both of you were first years of Jujutsu High, however after both you and Todo graduated Jujutsu High, he asked you out, which you told him yes, to having a relationship with him. While both you and Todo have ups and downs in that relationship, usually the both of you managed to figure things out with eachother.

However, this time, you sent him a pic of one of his orders that came to the place you and Todo shared together, which one of his orders is a body pillow of his favorite tall pop-idol Takada-chan, which the pic of the body pillow consists of you holding it, as you jokingly texted him that he knows he didn't have to buy you this body pillow of Takada-chan, while jokingly thanking him so much, also, then jokingly texted him that you will keep it in a place where he'll never find it when he's home with you, as you will hold it forever while he's not home with you, as you texted lol at the end of the message. Todo found it cute and kind of funny, so he texted his own jokes using emojis he thought would cute, as he then jokingly texted, if this was payback for a (character merch plushie of reader's choice) of a character both you and Todo liked that he got for himself, as he used an emoji he uses when embarrassed or something even jokingly. Then you afterwards texted him on how should you respond to that message, then texting you know all right and that he can have nice days and nights with his "precious" Takada-chan body pillow as he won't hear anymore from you until he can trust you with his item, as you then texted him good night, as you then used emojis that had him convinced that you're mad at him, because of the message he sent you.

After that and the fact that you weren't answering your cellphone when he tried to get ahold of you (which he was starting to get mad over), he almost gave up, as he was thinking of texting you that he was about to give up trying to call and text you or even trying talk to you, then since he realized he's almost home, he then said to himself, "Since I'm almost home, there's no sense in giving up yet, so I might, as well have a talk with (Any Gender Reader Name). He then went inside the home both you and Todo share together, to see about looking for you. He looked in the kitchen, the living room, the room both you and Todo share together (which the Takada-chan body pillow was there, however you weren't in sight), then lastly looked in the bathroom and there you were, as you're almost ready to take a bath.

"Hey, (Any Gender Reader Name)... We need to have a talk... It's important...", Todo said. You replied, "I get it... You want your space! You're mad at me! So, I'm giving you your personal space!". Todo was confused, as he replied back, "What do you mean? What are you talking about? Look babe... I'm not mad at you!". You replied back, "Well, Todo... The text you sent me, has me convinced that you're mad at me and you wanted your space, otherwise...". Todo then asked you to explain to him, as he really doesn't know why you would think that he would be mad at you over what he texted you.

You explained, "Remember that one party, when you were annoyed with me, as you told me to stop teasing you, after I kept poking you, because you were paying more attention to your cellphone... That very night that we almost had a break up on... Which we almost broke up over you getting pissed off at me, literally telling me to quit teasing you, after I kept poking your abs, while you were more focused on your cellphone googling pics constantly than you were on me non stop...". Todo thought about it for a sec then replied, "Oh... I get why you're upset with the message I sent earlier and I remember texting the "teasing me" part, however I don't remember texting the "quit" part.". You got really irritated as you showed him your text messages with him through your cellphone, as you exclaimed, "Look at the messages, Todo! You did text me to quit teasing you! Keep checking, until you realized that you texted me this!".

Todo examined the text message, he texted, like you told him to, until he saw proof that you were right about the text message part as he just realized he jokingly texted babe using emojis, then texted quit teasing him into having me think that you would keep it using more cute emojis, then jokingly texted the question, if this was payback for a (character merch plushie of reader's choice) of a character both you and Todo liked that he got for himself, as he used an emoji he uses when embarrassed or something even jokingly, then he apologized for the message, the reassures you that he's definitely not mad at you, while what almost got him mad was your message after that, then you not answering your cellphone when he was trying to call you, which made him felt that you were mad at him. You explained that you were trying to get ready for a bath to calm yourself down, then reassure him that your not mad at him either.

The both of you realized that, you're not mad at Todo over his messages and he's not mad at you for your messages, as the both of you realized the incident with text messages from earlier was just a misunderstanding and have forgiven eachother, anyways. The both of you then kissed eachother. Ofcourse Todo is willing to let you have your privacy while you were taking a bath, because Todo will respect your wishes, especially if you would like to have privacy while taking a bath.

After your bath you put on the (sleep wear up to the reader's imagination), then went into the bedroom you and Todo share together, to only notice that Todo ended up having plans to give you massages. You were definitely surprised he planned this for you. You then realized he might be up to something, however went along with his plan, anyways. When you got on the bed, he started to massage your neck, then once he's done massaging your neck, he moved his hands to your back.

"Now, Todo... What's the occasion with you massaging me, anyways?", you asked as you're feeling relaxed and curious at the same time. As Todo continued to massage your back, proceeding to get close enough to breathe into your right ear before answering, "Well, (Any Gender Reader Name)... I usually don't like admitting that I was wrong on any part of any situations... However since we both ran into a misunderstanding through our text messages earlier... And coming to realize that I had texted the word "quit" in the same message as the words "teasing me", and not remembering everything I texted earlier... So to make up for this misunderstanding we had earlier... I decided I owe you atleast something... And I figured, if there's anything else you need, just let me know, my babe...", then kissing the right side of your facial cheeks. You were surprised to hear the misunderstanding from earlier being the reason he's doing this, however still relaxed and smiled from what he said and the kiss on the right side of the facial cheeks he gave you.

Todo continued, "And besides... When you're relaxed and happy, I'm relaxed and happy, too... Not because of of the happy spouse, happy house saying or sayings that are similar to that... Aside from my best friend Itadori, who I consider as my brother... You're the only person I feel that way about... I didn't mean to sound corny, like that... Here's something better for me to say... You're the only (boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other), I ever had I truly feel that way about... If I had anyone else, as my partner that way, I wouldn't love them at all, like I super love you, my babe... And I truly mean that...", then he finished massaging you, as you then turned around to look at him. You replied, "I understand... And I super love you too, Todo.", as you kissed Todo on the lips, then hugged him. Later that night you and Todo cuddled with eachother into a deep slumber.

The next morning, you woke up to only realize Todo wasn't in the bed with you, then noticed Todo, wearing a cute apron, as he was carrying a tray full of the food you liked for breakfast, then he said, "Sorry you didn't see me in the bed earlier... I didn't want to wake you up, and I wanted to cook you something... So, here...", as he happily handed you the tray before he continued, "Time for breakfast, (Any Gender Reader Name)...", then proceeded to wink at you. You were surprised he cooked you so e breakfast. You're so thankful he did that for you, too. That's because, besides Itadori, you are someone he will do anything for.

After you finished eating your breakfast, both you and Todo snuggled for a couple extra hours. Eversince those couple of days, both you and Todo began to bond with eachother more and have more of an understanding with eachother in your relationship with him. Even communication has been key for both you and Todo.

The End

Don't mind the short intro, prior to writing the fanfic itself my Tumblr Peeps😅 Anyways I really wanted to work on a fanfic that involves misunderstandings and I actually was gonna pick another character for this, then I did decide last minute that maybe have work with Todo as the staring character for this type of fanfic🤔💡😁 I did add alot of stuff for the ending for this fanfic, however the misunderstanding parts of the fanfic and understanding the root of what happened with the misunderstandings, are the main ideas I went for with the fanfic, even before fully decided which character to star in this fanfic😁👍 I get maybe the warnings maybe atleast a little harmless, if you think that it is, however the bathtub part and the clothing up to the reader's imagination part are reasons why put these warnings that I did for this fanfic😅🤷‍♀️Anyways my Tumblr Peeps, I do truly hope you enjoy the first Aoi Todo fanfic I had actually written, because I do actually like him (character wise), because I was noticing that he became friends with Itadori (yes, I know why they're friends, however still), so if he is Itadori's friend (Megumi Fushiguro, included) (or considers Itadori their brother or stuff like that) then I like that character😁👍I hope you have fun reading this fanfic, as much as I had fun writing it, my Tumblr Peeps📱🌟💫

[thefallenangelsgang]

BALDUR'S GATE 3 x MAMMA MIA! AU

CHARACTERS

[YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO USE MY IDEA FOR ANYTHING YOU WANT, I ONLY ASK YOU CREDIT ME]

(break to save your dash)

Now, not every character is going to fit cleanly into character slots (there are too many characters to fill the main cast) so some of our Baldur's Gate loves will be sharing character traits and plot devices amongst each other.

Let’s start with Donna: She will be played by Tav obviously. I mean there really is no other choice here. We need someone who has gotten romantically entangled with multiple if not all the companions. The one unfortunate snag is that Tav has to carry or otherwise create the child of dubious parentage without the other parent knowing. That does pigeonhole the characterization a bit unless you want to go the magic route with it (which opens a line of ethical questioning beyond not telling the Parent of your child about the existence of said child)

For the purposes of this thought experiment, I'm operating under Tav being AFAB and having a womb to carry the baby. I’m also operating under the idea that all the companions have the reproductive organs of the gender they present as in game. If anyone wants to actually do something with this they are free to do whatever the fuck they want and use whatever headcanons they want. 

Sophie is going to be played by Tav’s kid. This one doesn’t have a hard and fast gender rule (TIL Sophus is the masculine version of Sophie) but they have to want to know who their other sire is and be generally chaotic which is not hard when they’ve grown up with the Tadfools as their role models. It is important that they display mostly Tav’s traits with others that could be any one of their other parent’s. (think Amanda Siefried and Meryl Streep are both blonde and similarly built. Sophie draws like Sam and sings and plays like Harry and has Bill’s adventurous spunk)

For ease of writing Tav’s Kid will be referred to as Soph from here on out.

Speaking of Sires, the Dads:

Sam: I waffled a LOT on who to choose out of the Baldur’s Boys because I wanted to keep it to just the traditional three and to just companions. You can obviously shuffle around people (I'm sure the Rolan girlies (gender neutral) would love putting him in this AU) and expand the possible dad list (though I don’t know how to split the characteristics like the Donna’s Friends). I chose to go with Gale here. I think he fits the very no nonsense and very anxious vibes from Sam in the show/movie. Instead of a business person who “went home to get married” perhaps Gale got called upon by Mystra as her Chosen and left to focus on his Wizardry. He is definitely the kind to break Tav’s heart over duty and be so ashamed he doesn’t really speak to them for 20 years. 

Bill: This one was damn near a no brainer once I was considering it. It’s Halsin. Who better to be the Hippie, fun-loving, sex god and travel writer? He retains all his Baldur’s Gate characteristics. His experience with Tav is truly just a bit of fun before they both go their separate ways. Their relationship is HEAPS less frigid than Gale and Tav’s. 

Now this is where you can go two ways with this. You could give Halsin is canon good ending (Reithwin with the kids) BUT we miss Bill being scared shitless at the prospect of having a child which I always loved as a characterization (Skarsgard plays it like a champ in the film, he looks like he’s gonna have a heart attack lmao). I feel like Clan Dad Halsin after 20 years is way too open to the idea of having something permanent like a kid. Wandering Arch Druid Halsin might be a little more scared shitless at the idea. That one is a personal preference, I think I’d prefer Reithwin Halsin even though I miss the majesty of an internal conflict.

Harry: Now this one also was a no-brainer but needs to be explained with some tact. It’s Astarion. It is not because Astarion is the most effeminate of the group. For those that don’t know, Harry is canonically gay. The companions are all pan. I chose Astarion because there is an opportunity to do something else transformative with Astarion and Tav’s tryst. 

In Mamma Mia, Harry talks about how Donna is the last and only woman he’s loved and their time together helped him accept his sexuality. In the stage show he’s in a committed relationship (his partner's name is fully escaping me atm). It always stuck out to me that Donna changed Harry and that’s why he still loves her after all these years. Sam obviously regrets leaving to do what was expected of him because he didn’t love his first wife. Bill sees the life of adventure and companionship he could have had with Donna but acknowledges that that time is behind them and still loves her anyways. And Harry loves that Donna made him see himself clearly for the first time in his life and loves her for it. You can see why Astarion came to mind I hope. 

Astarion’s night with Tav was him figuring out what intimacy meant to him after finally closing the Cazador Chapter of his life. The encounter was brief but it changed him for the better and allowed him to start healing.

EDIT: I realized I didn’t cover Astarion’s Vampirism at all. For story purposes assume he has some kind of temporary solution to the sun issue because I need his ass to be present when this is set on a fantasy Greek island. The Dhampir issue is… something. I sludged through some further thought experiments. Tav and the kid being Tieflings hides the fang coloration issue. Explaining away that the characteristics haven’t presented yet because the kid is still quite young by nearly all standards (20 is just barely of age for humans, and though they are full grown biologically they are still children in Elven society) and also have been largely sheltered from danger their whole life also works.

But to be honest, despite what the second movie and its director want you to believe, I think Harry is the least likely father of the three. I am comfortable extending this to Astarion. 

Okay now we are into the Dynamos! Fuck yes! Rosie and Tanya are my favorites (it helps that they are PERFECTLY casted in the movie oh my god). I have split their characteristics across the girls. There are some of the companions that are obviously one or the other (Karlach is the most Rosie coded while Minthara SCREAMS Tanya) while others send mixed signals (Shadowheart is the most even, skewing towards Tanya slightly while Lae’zel has Tanya’s bitchy attitude and Rosie’s  “lone wolf” outlook) SO I’m going to make a chart

Like Astarion, for story purposes, assume Karlach’s heart issue has been solved.

Graphic design is my passion

ANYWAYS you may have noticed three of our friends are missing from this line up. Our intrepid Folk Hero Formally Known As The Blade of Frontiers, Wyll, Pack Mother, Jaheria, and her trusty ride or die Rashamen, Minsc (and don’t forget Boo!). 

I had some trouble with these nerds because initially I was playing with making Wyll the second half of Sam, he would have usurped the businessman and maybe the gone home to get married bit while Gale was the heartbreaker and took something from Bill’s characterization, but I was having trouble with losing character motivations. Plus Wyll is canonically not the type for flings. So I am having him be a good family friend invited to the wedding but not involved in the parentage. He essentially is a more involved part of the Greek Chorus. He could take Sam entirely if you are not the type for Gale but you will see why I did this when I get into the songs (yes I am that fucking insane about this.) 

Jaheira does have the countenance to be a Dynamo BUT there is this minor character that I think about way too often that I wanted her to take. She is only mentioned in the first movie and the stage show in one line and seen a little in the second movie (which is a fever dream and convolutes the “lore” but I love it anyways). It’s Bill’s Great Aunt Sophia that left Donna the money to start Villa Donna. OBVIOUSLY she isn’t directly going to be playing Halsin’s Great Aunt or be dead (though she will be ancient by then) but she’s going to fill the mentor role for Tav and help out with Soph. She is the only one who knows that Gale Halsin and Astarion are the possible fathers until the beginning of the shenanigans.

Minsc, like Wyll, doesn’t have a direct parallel. He is also a part of the more involved Greek Chorus. He is Soph’s crazy uncle. He got them into all kinds of trouble and still does to this day. He gives a less emotional and personal version of Sam’s “are you sure you want to do this, you are so young” speech that essentially is offering to run off and be warriors (His plan does not get them away from anyone, he’s unanimously elected that the entire tadfool group is coming with them). But he does it after Gale gives the original speech that severely upsets Soph so it serves as a cheer up speech (“Minsc is unsure if the Wizard should come along seeing as he has upset the little warrior so, but Boo says he is very useful and Minsc agrees. So he can come with, but he does not get to pet Boo’s furry little bottom!”). 

The rest of our Greek Chorus and people like Sky and Sophie’s Friends are filled out by various NPCs. Pepper is played by Mol. Ali and Lisa are open to OCs to be honest but the idea of Yenna and Arabella hearing the saucy details of a story they were partly involved in is really funny to me so they are listed in the song list as the backup singers. Sky is an OC because I wasn’t fully comfortable using any of the child NPCs. He’s referred to as Soph’s partner.

[im-a-king-baby]

hi ! first of all; i read ELYN over the easter weekend and stayed up till like five am waiting for it to get happy so i could sleep (i gave up) and i loved it so so much. It just feels like such a tangible, realistic outcome for them (if we ignore s3) it made me ache in that exact anxious yearning way the actual show does. Big ask and 100% appreciate it if the answer is no but are you planning to write more for them in that universe? Would love to see them when Wille is at university, or see Wille simply make some (oblivious?) uni friends, or see Sara and Simon interact again or honestly literally anything and everything.

secondly, and who knows maybe (probably) you’re aware of this but the photos/images in the fic do not appear as images but just as a text/error box? Is that intentional or did they break? I kept finding myself curious as to what image was put with the chapters haha

Hi!!! I hope you had a good easter... and went to sleep at some point... 😅

Thank you for alerting me about the images! I was not aware of that :( Although I guess that makes all those hours hardcoding the text threads and tumblr posts so they would work without images worth it 😂

I have gone through it all again and updated the image links so they are working for me now (let me know if they're still broken for you?).

There's nothing in them that's required to follow the fic, you just get to judge the time I spent procrastinating by making album covers and then sorting all the random pop songs I'd invented into albums (something that was definitely vital even though no one but me cares about the difference in vibe between Simme eras 🤣).

If you are just interested in the art, these are the 4 covers I used in the fic:

Sadly this fic was always destined to lose canon status after season 3 (although I am going to keep believing August's arc could go the ELYN route until proven otherwise).

Regarding sequels, prooobably not? Sorry :( I have more notes for Simon pov scenes during and before than anything set after because I'm not sure what more I have to say, (other than wanting to write something of ELYN Wille with Edvin's new haircut but basically all I've got is this:

For a moment Simon thinks Wilhelm isn’t even here, then the bleached blond head turns and it’s Wilhelm’s face and Wilhelm’s eyes and Wilhelm’s mouth dropping open in surprise at seeing Simon in the doorway. “You’re here,” Wilhelm says. “How are you -?” “You cut your hair.” It’s dumb. Obviously. But Simon hasn’t slept and Wilhelm’s hair is almost white, sharp and bristled, and Simon wants to touch it, to see if it hurts. “I…” Wilhelm hesitates. “There were always rules about my appearance, about how I was allowed to look, and I thought…” he reaches a hand to his hairline, his face falling a little. “Do you hate it?” The bristles give under his fingers, impossibly soft. He looks older, but also somehow younger, like he’s reclaiming the rebellious teen years that the crown never let him have. “I want to kiss you,” Simon says. The coffee shop is full of people. At least four that Simon can see are looking at them, not even trying to be subtle. There’s a camera tilted in their direction, but it’s not close. “Can I kiss you?” “I-” Wilhelm starts doing the same glance - who’s watching, who’s filming - then seems to catch himself, snorts a soft laugh and pulls Simon in. It's too short for Simon to catch hold of, but he can run his fingers through it and it's soft or ghost them over to catch the sharp edges of the tips, and it's Wilhelm and he's here, they're both here. And they're going to be okay.

<3

[innerpalaces]

The Life of a Cannon Fodder Mother-in-Law - 40

Chapter 40: The Step-Mother-in-Law 7

When the mother and son first heard that the Li family was having a birthday celebration, after they discussed the gift, they found that they did not have enough money to purchase an adequate present and considered what they could give away.

After thinking about it, only Zhang Manyue's jade pendant was decent. So, the mother and son immediately decided that the main gift would be the jade pendant, and they would spend money to buy other things. However, Zhang Manyue was not as easy to negotiate with as before. After trying so hard, on the day of the birthday banquet, they still couldn't get the jade pendant, so they decided to exchange the jade pendant for the shop. At that time, both mother and son wanted to deal with the immediate problem first. Looking back now, weren't they just giving away the family's ancestral property? Just now, the old madam didn't think she could open her mouth to ask for the gift back. When she promised her daughter-in-law a few moments ago, she just wanted to persuade her first. But at this moment, asking for the gift back suddenly didn't feel like a big deal. The jade pendant must be retrieved before it can be exchanged for their shop. Otherwise, the Ge mother and son would really become prodigals who sold off their ancestral property. "I'll give you the jade pendant back!" Liu Yuniang refused: "Can it be exchanged just because you say so? No!" Hearing this, the mother and son became anxious. Ge Guangping also became anxious: "Mom, this shop can't be sold! I'll ask for the jade pendant. I will definitely get it back for you." "Yes!" Hearing his son speak, Ge Gen felt that the matter was settled and immediately said : "If Guangping goes to ask for it, she will definitely return it. Manyue, I know you want that jade pendant, so don't be stubborn."

"I want the shop. It's just like doing business. If someone took a bite of the things you sell and then brought them back for a refund, are you willing to accept it?" Liu Yuniang argued, "You gave away the jade pendant in front of so many people. You got fame and benefits, but you don't want to give anything in return. How can there be such a good thing in the world? I don't want the jade pendant, and I must sell the shop."

She turned her eyes to Ge Gen again: "As for the divorce, if you don't want to, I can afford to delay it. What I said before counts. If you give the gift, I won't live like this anymore. From today on, I'm no longer your Ge family's wife. Don't expect me to take care of the family affairs or get involved in anything at home. Of course, if you don't let me go, you have to take care of me. That includes food and drink."

The three members of the Ge family looked at each other. This was clearly a rogue act. The old madam was so angry that she banged the table: "What a misfortune for our family!" Liu Yuniang looked disapproving and walked away. Before leaving, she said, "I have worked hard for more than ten years after marrying into the Ge family. I have even given birth to children for the Ge family. I don't feel guilty if I eat a few meals from you. If you don't prepare meals for me, you are really worse than animals... If you are not afraid of losing face, you can try it."

She disappeared down the street, and the three generations of grandparents and grandchildren came back to their senses. Ge Gen frowned: "Mom, what should we do now?" Before the old madam could speak, Ge Guangping had already demanded: "Who asked you to use the shop to exchange with her for the jade pendant?" He said angrily, "I am the eldest son in the family, and I have been working in this shop for many years. Even if I have no merit, I have worked hard! Why didn't you discuss such a big thing with me in advance?" Not to mention discussing it, they didn't even tell him. Ge Guangping became angrier as he thought about it. Ge Gen looked helpless: "The situation was urgent and I didn't have time to tell you. Besides, although I promised to give her the shop at that time, I never dreamed that she would sell it! Your grandmother was there at the time, and she agreed. We have worked hard to get closer to the Li family. In the final analysis, it was all for your future. I hope your mother can help you in the future." The old madam took over the conversation: "Yes, if you have a rich relative, even if you are down and out and need to borrow money in the future, there will be a place to ask for help!"

"No matter how much we want to get closer, we can't give away our family's shop!" Ge Guangping said sadly: "Next time, will you give away our house as well?"

The mother and son were in the wrong, but the old madam frowned: "Guangping, no matter how wrong your father and I were, we are still your elders. You can't talk to us like this. Your father and I have no selfish motives in giving those gifts. It's all for you. This time, it can only be said that Zhang Manyue is to stubborn, which your father and I didn't expect. Life is so long, everyone will make mistakes. You did a lot of bad things when you were a child. Your father and I have forgiven you."

Therefore, Ge Guangping also has to forgive them. If he remained angry about it, it means that Ge Guangping is ignorant. These words were rational and well-founded, and Ge Guangping understood their reasons,  but he just couldn't accept it. Especially since, when Zhang Manyue left just now, she had emphasized that she must sell the shop. From beginning to the end, she had no intention of reconciliation. Grandmother, son, and grandson stood together and worried. On the other side, Liu Yuniang returned to the house, feeling extremely satisfied. Yan Niang was doing laundry unhappily. Seeing Liu Yuniang arriving, she said casually: "Mom, I can't wring them out, come and help me." "If you can't wring them, think of a way yourself." Liu Yuniang walked past her and went into the house: "Don't count on me for anything at home in the future."

Yan Niang's heart sank: "Dad will be angry." "I'm not afraid of him." Liu Yuniang washed her hands and said, "Anyway, I don't want to be the wife of the Ge family anymore. Let him be angry or not. If he is really angry, just send me out."

Yan Niang: "..." In the evening, Guangyu and her brother came back, and Liu Yuniang called them to the main room. "I plan to leave the Ge family in the next few days. You two should pack your luggage when you have time so you can come with me."   Both siblings were stunned. They knew that their parents were quarreling, and that their mother was very angry this time and often said she wanted to leave. The siblings were quite worried, but they never took her words seriously. There are so many couples who quarrel in this world, and they never thought that their parents would really quarrel to the point of separation. "I don't want to give in." Liu Yuniang looked at the two siblings: "You are not children anymore. You must have seen how I have lived these years. I don't think I am worse than Yan Songyu and I have been a worthy daughter-in-law to the Ge family. But your father and grandmother are blind and often compare us. She is Yan Songyu, a fairy in the sky, and I am the mud on the ground... I used to tolerate it, but now they are getting more and more excessive, and I don't want to bear it anymore."

Ge Guangyu knew that her mother had been wronged, and she didn't want to stay. She just couldn't help but feel panicked and scared when she thought of leaving. "Will dad let you leave?" Especially after she took ownership of the shop. Ge Guangxing was equally worried. "He will be willing." Liu Yuniang instructed: "After you pack your luggage, go to your masters as usual every day. Don't stay at home and be ordered around by them." If a child was not filial, they would be scolded. The two siblings would be forced to do some work at home, but Zhang Manyue would probably not be willing to let them serve the Ge family. Liu Yuniang had already announced that she would no longer help the family. The old madam did not think that she would change her temper immediately, so she came back early to make dinner. The Ge's shop was not big, but it was very busy. Usually, the old madam was not willing to come back early at all. Besides, she hadn't cooked for many years, so she was not comfortable with anything. When she saw Yan Niang making a fire, she immediately had an idea. "Yan Niang, you will cook starting tomorrow." Yan Niang had been trying her best to reduce her presence. She had done too much work in the past two days, and she was afraid that the old madam would think of her. Unexpectedly, even though she shrank like a turtle, the old madam still remembered. She smiled bitterly and said, "Grandmother, it's not that I'm lazy, it's just that I'm pregnant and don't have the strength to work. There is water everywhere in the kitchen. If I slip on it and fall..."

"In the past, your mother had to cook all the time, even up until she was about to give birth. Be cautious and everything will be fine." The old madam was unhappy, but she couldn't bear to get angry at her son and grandson, so she became less polite to her grandson's wife: "Your husband's mother is the wife of a rich family, but we are just ordinary people. Don't be so squeamish. If you have the ability, let him take you to the Li family. Then you don't have to do anything. Just raise your hand and someone will bring you things..."

Yan Niang's family was not rich. If one were honest, they were not even as well off as the Ge family. She had never had a good life since she was a child, and she really wanted to go to the Li family's house. As long as one can be fed, clothed, and cared for, who cares about being ostracized or disliked by others. When Liu Yuniang heard this, she folded her arms and leaned against the kitchen door: "The couple would like to go, but it would require Yan Songyu to have that ability. Over the years, aside from a few snacks to fill the stomach, have any of the things she has sent back been something our family can really use? Just by looking at these things, you can guess her situation in the Li family. She can't even support herself, bringing in an oil bottle (t/n: “oil bottle,” is a derogatory term referring to children from a previous marriage, since these children were often thought of as unwanted by their step parents in the past) would just be a dream."

The old madam scolded: "You are everywhere! If you don't want to work, get out of here!"

"I won't get out. What can you do?" Not only did Liu Yuniang not leave, but she also entered the kitchen and raised her hand to take a smoked chicken hanging there: "This thing has been here for more than half a year. It will go bad if it continues to hang here. Let's eat it!" As she said that, she threw it directly into the boiling pot of water. This kind of smoked chicken is cured with salt and had to be hung in the kitchen for smoking. If it got wet, it would rot. The old madam was startled, and when she realized what she was doing, she was furious: "Why are you eating meat when it's not the holidays?" Liu Yuniang looked innocent: "It's going to go bad!" "I think you have a bad heart!" The chicken was thrown into the water, and it had to be washed.  While washing, the old madam cursed: "Get out of here." Liu Yuniang raised her eyebrows and threw in a piece of smoked bacon. In the face of the old madam's angry glare, she clapped her hands: "Don't scold me, I'm scared. When I'm scared, my hands tend to shake. There seem to be a lot of eggs at home...."

Old madam: "..." Still want to break her eggs!? She immediately swallowed the bad words on her lips: "You go out. I'll call you when the food is ready, okay?" Liu Yuniang was satisfied: "Don't eat secretly!" These words were very familiar to the old madam's ears. She used to say this often. In fact, the family lived frugally, and Zhang Manyue would never eat any extra. In fact, she saved everything and gave it to the Ge family mother and son and the children. Stealing food had never happened before. The old madam wanted to get angry again, but when she met her daughter-in-law's expectant eyes, she bit her lip to hold back. Seeing that she didn't shout, Liu Yuniang looked disappointed: "It seems that I can't eat these eggs. Hurry up and cook, I'm hungry." The old madam's anger rushed to her head. She realized that her daughter-in-law was like a fire starter. Every time she opened her mouth, she was lighting a firecracker. Liu Yuniang took a few steps and then turned back: "Older people should lose their temper less, otherwise they will become paralyzed with anger... If I were you, I wouldn't bear this anger and would send the aggravating person away!" The old madam gritted her teeth: "You're dreaming! " As long as she stays in the Ge family, the shop belongs to the Ge family. Just as she was thinking this, her daughter-in-law slapped her forehead and said, "By the way, I sold the shop for sixteen taels, and I've already collected the deposit. Tomorrow, the new owner will take over." The old madam just felt a buzz in her head, and for a moment it seemed like the world was spinning.

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[eleni-cherie]

a thief's end ✨ || bts • myg - chapter 1.2

"so eager to be in a headlock again?"

"only if it's by you."

he thought he was done with the criminal life and ready for some peace and quiet. but his plans collapsed in the form of a strange girl who was in trouble.

© 2023 | eleni_cherie

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masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to lovers s2l

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

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Seoul, South Korea

Soyeon blew out a long sigh before taking a sip from her iced coffee. It felt odd to be back in Seoul after three weeks. Weeks of feeling terrified and anxious when now everything seemed back to normal. As if any of the previous incidents had never happened. A strange thought. Like a fever dream.

Her eyes wandered out to the people passing by on the street. It was a mild summer day, most going out for a walk or to meet friends. And she wondered if and how Arabella was planning to find her. Recalling their last conversation on the phone in the restrooms of the italian police station.

"They'll be flown out to Seoul tomorrow."

Arabella hummed, going silent then and Soyeon thought she had hung up, when she spoke up again. "What about you?"

"I'll have to give my testimony. Hope they can arrest that jerk.." she scoffed, "And after that, agent Jeon assured me I could fly back to Korea with them. After all, I don't have any papers with me to get back otherwise.."

"Alright."

"They'll escape won't they?"

"I don't think they'll try."

Soyeon frowned. "W-what? Will they just stay arrested and fac-"

"No, no. Obviously they'll flee," Arabella laughed, "But if they're smart, which Yoongi and Taehyung are, I guess my idiot as well, they'll do it when they're back in Seoul. It wouldn't make sense to escape now and try getting back to Taiwan from there. They'd be more obstacles with pops being on their tail. The smart move would be for them to do it in Korea, which is way closer to Taiwan and has direct connections."

The younger woman hummed understanding. If put like that, it made indeed sense. And Arabella was supposedly a thief as well, or had been, so she should know more than her.

"No need to worry," Arabella said then, "I'll fly out to Seoul myself. I'm sick of sitting here idle and missing out on all the fun anyway, so I'll help them get out."

"A-aren't you afraid of getting caught as well?"

Arabella clicked her tongue almost offended at the insinuation. "Please, I'm not a noob like them!"

Soyeon pursed her lips, unsure if she was going to regret her next move. "C-could I come with you?"

"You mean in bailing the guys out? Absolutely not. You're unexperienced."

She wasn't able to argue with that and yet, she tried to. "I know.. but I feel miserable. They're only in this situation because of me. Obviously I'd let you professional take care of the difficult stuff, but.. but.." Her jaw clenched when thinking about Yoongi's expression when she'd last seen him. Those glum eyes. And him being in a cell now like a criminal. She knew he technically was one, been one in the past. But he wasn't one to her. He was much more to her than that. "If I can help in any way, even if only a little bit.."

"I could think of a way.." Arabella contemplated then with a sigh, "But just to be clear, if Yoongi gets angry at me for getting you involved, it was your fault. You were persistent and demanded to be part of it, not letting me any choice. Got it?"

Soyeon's eyes lit up. "Yeah, yes, of course!"

"Alright, see you in Seoul then."

"W-wait, where should we meet?"

"Don't worry about that, I'll find you."

And with that she hung up. Leaving Soyeon perplexed back.

She took another sip, taking her phone out and going to her photo gallery. She didn't feel like returning home yet. Getting adjusted to work again was already hard, but then staying in her lonely apartment was almost insufferable.

A sentimental feeling overtaking her as she scrolled through her photos, stopping at the last one she had of her grandfather. He was attempting to smile, something he rarely did in photos. Not because he'd been a serious man, rather because he liked to appear like one. She giggled. That somehow reminded her of Yoongi. On the outside he seemed cool, calm, collected, but she had managed to catch a glimpse of his true nature. The warm, kind and caring side of his.

Her brows knitted together when a hot ache flowed threw her chest. She swiped away to another photo of her grandfather. It was of a photo from her grandmother's albums, showing her grandfather heaving little Soyeon up on one arm. Holding her high and smiling up at her.

Yeah, she remembered, her grandfather used to do that when she was little. Carrying her around and holding her up, making her feel like a giant.

Tears started welling up in the corner of her eyes and she quickly wiped them away before anyone noticed. Deciding to lock the phone and swallow the lump in her throat down with another sip from her cold drink.

"Did something happen?" A voice behind her asked and she internally cursed, hoping the person didn't mean her, when suddenly the chair next to her was pulled out and a women with long dark hair and black eyeglasses sat down. Eyeing her suspiciously from above the glasses.

"N-no, just remembered something. That's all," she quickly said, perplexed by the stranger.

The woman hummed and Soyeon began wondering what she wanted from her, when it finally clicked. "Arabella?"

"Yup, that's me."

Her eyes widened. "How, how did you find me?"

Arabella's lips pulled up into a grin as she shrugged nonchalantly. "I got my ways." She waved at someone then, soon another person appearing next to them much to Soyeon's surprise as she recognised them.

"The doctor?"

"Hey," the red-head smiled and sat down at the empty seat between them, "I see the wound's healing nicely." Cassandra pointed at her forehead to which the younger girl smiled, nodding shyly. "Yes, thanks again." Soyeon's brows furrowed then. "W-what are you doing here, though?"

Cassandra playfully huffed, folding her arms in front of her puffed out chest. "Why? My husband also got caught after all! And besides, I always wanted to take part in a mission. Tae just never let me." She pouted then before grinning at Arabella, patting her shoulder. "That's why I convinced Bella here to let me help. We're forming a girls' gang now, bailing out our idiots!"

The dyed-brunette only rolled her eyes. "'Convinced' is quite a light way to put it. You blackmailed me in saying you wouldn't give me a pda otherwise."

She pointed at her belly and only then did Soyeon notice the bump.

"Ah-ah, I said I would advice your doctor not to give you any."

"Still blackmailing," Arabella whined, heaving a frustrated groan then and burried her face into her palms, "Tae and Yoongi will kill me if they see you two here, ugh."

"I'm taking full blame, don't worry," her friend ensured her to which Soyeon quickly nodded.

"M-me too!"

She exhaled deeply, leaning back. "Fine.."

Soyeon raised her hand then as if she was in class. "Uhm , excuse me I got a question.." She pointed at Arabella's belly, "You're pregnant, right? Is it okay if y-"

"It's totally fine," Arabella quickly dismissed her question with a wave of her hand, "Just because I'm pregnant people don't have to treat me with kid gloves. I won't do anything risky and besides -" She faced Cassandra then with a smirk. "We got the doc here after all, just in case."

She grabbed a tablet out of her handbag then, switching it on. "Now let's get down to business."

Soyeon raised her hand again, interrupting her once again with a shy grin. "I should probably tell you that I've to go to interpol tomorrow."

Arabella frowned, setting the device down. "Why? Didn't they interrogate you in Italy already? "

"Only about what went down in Taiwan and in Italy. Now they wanna ask me further questions about my grandpa, although I really don't know what I could possibly tell them.." Frankly, she knew less than they did about her grandfather's life as a thief.

Arabella hummed, that piece of information perhaps turning into something helpful.

"What time exactly?"

"T-they said they'd be out all day long. So 5pm."

The professional among them contemplated for a moment, smirking then. "Right before their shift ends. Perfect. New plan then!"

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Yoongi was staring at the white wall in front of him. Stifling a sigh, he stretched his arms over his head. He could tell the sun was setting by the few streaks of light coming from the window.

Seconds turned to minutes and minutes to hours.

When his eyes grew tired, he'd close them, otherwise he'd keep them on the white painted bricks. If he had his sword he'd just cut through the door with ease, but Seokjin had obviously confiscated it. So there wasn't much left but to stare and wait. There wasn't much else to do. He was alone with his thoughts.

It wasn't the first time they had been caught and sitting in different cells. And they always had a plan for this. However, considering they hadn't planned to ever see a custody cell again, he couldn't help but feel sullen.

He was the one involved with Soyeon, not them. If Jimin and Taehyung wouldn't have joined, they wouldn't be there with him now.

Soyeon.

He wondered what she was doing right now. He had heard from Jungkook that they had also flown her back to Seoul.

He smiled to himself, being sure she was finally able to return to her normal life with this story being hopefully over. That had been their intention after all by luring interpol to Italy. They already had a case file on the younger Rossi, so it shouldn't have been a problem for them to do something against him now either. And they would, he was certain of it. He just hoped she could find her peace now and enjoy life again without any fears.

For a second he wondered if he should look for her after they get out, but he quickly dismissed that ridiculous thought. After all this traumatic experience, she probably didn't want to see anything or anyone that reminded her of it and he unfortunately counted among that. It was probably better this way anyway, even if he had retired of being a criminal and only got back because of this, he was probably not the right person for her. He bit his inner cheek, a mix of sorrow and relief spreading inside him.

She deserved someone normal. Someone who wouldn't potentially drag her into this kind of situation again.

And besides, her real life was taking place in Seoul while he was forced to return to Taiwan.

The two had no prospects from the beginning.

Yoongi never considered himself a lucky guy. The only good thing that had ever happened to him was meeting his two friends, but otherwise he'd never seen himself favoured by fortune.

Although, the time he had spent with Soyeon, even if short, had felt like luck in a way.

Luck.

Such a weird concept. He rarely truly understood it. So he accepted things for how they were. Perhaps it was some kind of karma for past mistakes. There'd been more than enough anyway.

»»»

Arabella's plan was simple or at least not as complicated as it could be.

"There's a catch though," she explained as she eyed the other two women over Soyeon's coffee table. They had returned to her apartment to fully develop the plan and prepare for it and frankly, it was more convenient than sitting in a café. "From what I found out, they inaugurated a few new precautions for some reason. Like whoever enters or exists any area, even the archives and evidence storages, will be checked in case they're wearing a mask or other type of disguises. They literally pinch your cheeks to check. Another reason why I'll undertake the security room and gain access to the system, they obviously know my face. But that means you won't be able wearing a mask either."

Cassandra's brown eyes widened and she gulped. "And how do I get in there then?"

"By me adding you into the database as a new employee. I'll access the personnel department's files and create a fake staff account for you."

"But won't they find it weird if out of nowhere a new employee appears without them knowing?"

"The trick is to act as if you belong there," Arabella winked, "If there's any issue, just say you just started and probably someone simply forgot to inform them. Remain persistent."

"What if agent Kim, Blake or Jeon see me though? They know me."

"They won't," she dismissed her with a smirk, "We'll do it during the late shift, after the field agents leave and none of the normal personnel is working."

Cassandra and Soyeon nodded eagerly, listening intently. Arabella smiled for a brief moment before continuing.

"The second new security measure is having to enter a specific code that changes every few hours to enter the basement area where the cells are located. But it shouldn't be too big of a deal to find out once I've hacked the security system." A frown spreading over her features then as something else was seemingly troubling her. "The other new thing is that they aren't in the normal cellblock like usually while waiting for trial, but in the isolated high-risk ones. Those have a seperate security system located somewhere in the basement, meaning I can't exchange the live camera recordings from there. Sure, my distraction tactic will possibly blur quite a lot, but there's still a good chance someone might catch you on tape while I won't be able to see that footage and possibly warn you. So I'm asking you again if you're indeed sure about participating in this."

Her glance flickering to Soyeon, looking at her inquiringly.

"I am," she said with no sign of hesitation, causing Arabella and Cassandra to exchange a look, before nodding.

"Alright, let's do this."

»»»

Step one:

While Soyeon went for her anew interrogation, Arabella found her way inside by sneaking into an employee's car. In disguise, she engaged the man from the security control room in a flirty conversation, drugging him by sprinkling some rohypnol on his snack when he didn't pay attention. Taking control of the technical part and switching the live security footage with looping recordings, so no one would notice their little rescue mission, while also keeping an eye on the actual live footage, to warn the other two women if needed through their in-ear transmitters.

She also proceeded in creating two new employee accounts in the security system for Soyeon and Cassandra, the data matching to the two fake IDs she had already given them.

Step two:

Cassandra gor inside by pretending being an archive worker, having easier access to the evidence storage to get the guys' weapons this way. After a small encounter with an agent in the elevator, where she kept her cool, she headed to her designated area. Arabella told her the passcode and she passed the security check for disguises. Lying about having to check the evidence box of an old case that'd soon go to court to see if the content alligned with the list her 'supervisor' had given her. Finding the wanted objects in the weapon storage, she loaded the guns - having the needed knowledge from her husband who had insisted in teaching her how to use a gun just in case - and then hid them in a bag. Stuffing it into the vent Arabella instructed her to, pushing until it dropped down the vent into a lower level. After that was done, she retreated from the archive area and proceeded leaving the building from the staircase and emergency exit.

During these preparations, Soyeon was sitting in her interrogation, answering to all the agents' questions without leaking any suspicion.

Step three:

When the interrogation ended, Soyeon pretended leaving but actually went with Arabella's instructions to the storeroom in ground level where the vent ended. And after climbing up a shelf and opening it to get the bag out, she hid it into the cleaning trolly stored there. Changing into one of the cleaning uniforms hanging behind the door, she waited till the shift ended and most agents clocked out, before heading out with the trolly and the fake ID pinned on her chest. Entering the underground area using the security code Arabella told her and undergoing the check for any disguise herself.

The basement area was devided into two parts, to enter the second one where the guys were located at, Arabella initiated a small false alarm by starting the sprinklers, confusing the guards and getting them to go check for the cause. As soon as they left their positions, Soyeon took the bag and slipped through the gate to the second area. Immediately heading to the cellbocks the older girl had told her and quickly shoved their weapons through the barred door window. Returning to the first area and the abandoned trolly and Arabella ending the alarm.

Leaving the area by explaining she'd need to get extra help to clean up the wet floors while guards went to check on all the inmates.

Step four:

Soyeon left from the emergency exit. Arabella retreated then as well, as if nothing had happened and the two met in the parking lot where Cassandra waited for them in the car.

And the three set off.

»»»

next chapter: 1.3 here

Don't forget to like, reblog & leave feedback!♡

It motivates me to keep writing :)

[sleepy-shutin]

do you have any tips on communicating with alters? i get the vibe im really not alone in the brain area (there are. copious ammounts of other reasons but.) i'm not sure if i just got some srs dpdr or am like actually a system

this sounds like less of a "communicating with alters" problem and more of a "DID vs. other disorders" problem, or a "how to tell what is and isn't an alter" problem. if you're not sure whether or not you have alters, communicating with them or attempting to do so isn't going to help you figure out if you have alters or not, you're just going to get more confused. trust me, i've been down this exact same path before and it made things worse and more confusing. don't jump into trying to communicate with alters first before even knowing whether or not you have them.

also, obligatory warning that more people should be giving out: if you're still living in an abusive/traumatic environment, i personally really do not recommend self diagnosing with DID. from my personal experience and the personal experience of friends, this makes things worse, especially if you're under 18 or otherwise cannot legally leave. worry about surviving and getting out, THEN worry about the magnitude of trauma that you experienced and try to start getting it processed. trying to process trauma and deal with trauma and dissociation symptoms while still being traumatized actively is an awful experience.

if the second paragraph doesn't apply to you, ignore it. it's not for you.

this post from felis puts a lot of it into some pretty easy to understand language, the difference between cPTSD parts and fully autonomous dissociated parts, as seen in DID or OSDD-1.

another thing to note--i can't remember if this is mentioned in the linked post or not--but parts aren't always necessarily going to feel like entirely different people controlling your body. the vast majority of people who have autonomous dissociated parts have parts that are not the most distinct and may be separated out by feeling (i.e. "i feel like a serious woman with long hair") rather than suddenly knowing you have a specific name, age, gender, etc.

what you should do when trying to figure out if you actually have parts, is pattern tracking. journal a lot. if you can, try to think about how you feel throughout the day, (i.e. "do i feel like the serious woman with long hair or do i feel like the sad little boy or do i feel like the happy man with a baseball cap?"), to better track these patterns and see if they are brought up at specific times of day.

for example, i become tal when i'm at work. she is a teenage girl with dark hair, and she's very cheerful, and is pretty happy being masculine, even though she doesn't necessarily present that way when we draw her.

while i'm at home, i become zero, who is more serious and deadpanned and irritable, who is very obviously a male figure.

i can always tell the difference between these two specifically because of how starkly different we feel to each other. when i start feeling like a bubbly teenage girl, that's a pretty easy way for me to tell when i've switched. i can generally tell when i'm going to switch to tal because she comes forward in IRL social situations, and at work. i've used pattern tracking over the course of months to figure these patterns out.

that's only two parts out of my documented 30-something, and it took months to fully figure that out. you're probably going to have a similar amount of time figuring out your own shit. don't rush it. the best time to start is now, so be patient.

so basically, track how you feel identity-wise in differing situations, and track how connected or disconnected you feel to these differing identity feelings over time.

when you get home from work/school, does the person at work/school feel like you? do you feel confused by your actions at work/school? anxious about these actions? disgusted? do you feel like these actions you did at work/school are something that you would do now that you're not at work/school? these are some questions you can ask yourself.

remember, this only works if you're honest with yourself, and it is not a quick process.

i hope you get things figured out anon.

[viivdle]

it's been a long time coming..

Dancing With Our Hands Tied (Jurdan's Version) with @annamatix <3

part 1!!

"I, I loved you in secret" is one of the many lyrics you don't need to use metaphorically for them to fit. he *did* love her in secret, and he hid his feelings with every action he took.

"First sight, yeah, we love without reason" we get a description of what he noticed first when he saw jude, and he was (very obviously, might i add) star struck. he didn't have a reason to be attracted to her. if anything, it was the opposite. his whole life he was taught to hate mortals and find them repulsing, but something about her was different.

"Oh, how were you to know?" i think sometimes cardan regrets his actions. he would do it again just to have the same outcome - being with jude. but i think he regrets how long it took because it cost them valuable time together. even after his feelings were clear, he did things that prolonged the time until they got to openly confess their love.

"And my, my love had been frozen" with everything in his life growing up, nobody reciprocated the love he tried to give, so he locked his heart away the best he could. he tried to freeze it so it wouldn't get hurt, but people still found ways to shatter it.

"Deep blue, but you painted me golden" cardan had a horrible life, nobody needs reminders of it. it's in everything he says and does. she ultimately saved his life in more ways than one. this can also be taken literally. "but you painted me golden" fits the scene in which jude struck him and smeared gold over his face, but that's just a funny thing to add. another way to interpret it (i'm already getting unhinged with this) is that he was with nicasia before he was with jude. not only were they bad together, which painted him blue, but nicasia is the princess of the undersea, nicasia is the deep blue that was replaced with gold, jude.

"Oh, and you held me close. Oh, how was I to know?" it's no secret that jude can lie. and that she takes great advantage of that ability. even after everything, i think cardan still had doubts about her love for him because she *could* be lying. he's very self-destructive and thinks little to nothing of himself. "it is a shabby, worm-eaten, and scabrous thing" is only one of the many admissions to it, verbal or not. while he knows jude loves him, but can't be certain.

"I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets" screams cardan. he thought he was uncapable of being loved, and she proved him otherwise. he loves with all he has and all he can give, and when he got a taste of what it was like to be loved, he never wanted to let it go again. he would've spent forever with her hands in his pockets, and he would've been happy to do so.

"Picture of your face in an invisible locket" i love love LOVE this lyric, and cardan would too. as i said, he loves with all his might, and he proudly does so. he would 100% wear a locket with a picture of jude in it, nobody questions that. he would love it even more if the locket was invisible to show everyone who has his heart. in the standards elfhame sets, he shouldn't feel proud to love a mortal. he is anyway and after finding out how it feels to love her, he stops caring about it and he would scream it from the top of every building in the kingdom.

"You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it" need i remind everyone of when he was a serpent and knew nothing, not even himself (yes, i'm repeating myself again) but he knew jude? nothing in the world could stop his love for her, literally. and it most definitely something he'd admit to jude.

"I had a bad feeling" has so many meanings for me, looking at it and trying to connect it to cardan. literally, hate is a bad feeling - and he felt it for jude. a lot. cardan, despite his very inflated seeming ego, is extremely anxious when it comes to jude. not only is she the only family he has left, she's the only family he ever had. yes, he had his court. yes, he had a complex relationship with the people in it. yes, said relationship also included love. but no, it was never pure love. jude and cardan's story is anything but pure. it's tainted, bloody, cursed... but their love? it's the purest love in his life.

i know this is very, very long, and i doubt anyone's read it - but stay tuned for the rest of my version and anna's post on her account<33

[marinetteocean]

Sphere of Destiny part 4 The Owl House themed fanfiction

Hunter and Amity started walking down the path to the mansion. Hunter looked oddly uncomfortable and Amity noticed it.

"I'm trying to understand what you're nervous about, but I'm torn. Is it because you're going to see Darius or something else?"

Hunter looked even more startled as the silence was broken. "I don't know, this is the first time we are alone together after... that day. The fact makes me anxious."

Amity laughed at Hunter's confession. "We stayed in the same house for months, Hunter. Are you sure we have never been alone?"

Hunter rubbed his neck. “I guess so.”

"But I get what you mean. We never had a chance to talk about what happened Eclipse Lake." Amity said.

Hunter took a deep breath and said, "Just know that I'm sorry about what happened at there."

"I know Hunter, don't worry. lt's nothing really, you just tried to deceive me, used my sensitivity towards Luz, made me feel sorry for you. Oh and let's don't forget the best part! While I was trying to make you feel better, you attacked me and threatened me by using Luz." said Amity and grinned.

"Oh Titan! I'm really a bad person, aren't l? You did nothing wrong to me but l..." said Hunter in grief.

"lf you are a bad person so am l!" said Amity with her soft gaze. "l also made lots of mistakes especially to Willow. She forgave me because she learned how all of my bad treats started but this doesn't mean l'm blameless."

"l know what happened between you and her and l can understand your reasons." said Hunter.

Amity's mood had dropped, her regret was visible in her eyes.

"But l don't. Odalia may have shown me the way, but I chose to follow that path. I made Willow small, powerless in my own eyes, so I believed my own lie. Because that way it was easy to avoid her and not blame myself for not being by her side when she needed me most."

Amity glanced sideways at Hunter and continued speaking. "l believe you know, how it feels like that the only thing you must care is the top position you are at otherwise you are worthless. Others are just distraction to avoid."

"Yeah, l can totally relate. That's why l said we have so much in common, it wasn't a lie."

"l was some kind of distraction for you at Eclipse Lake so you had to beat me with anything. lt was Luz because it was obvious that Luz is my soft spot."

"I'm so sorry about that threat but l really thought-"

"You really thought Luz would leave me if l fail. Because that was all we know at that time. So in the end, l don't have any problem about that day."

"Thank you... for understanding." said Hunter with a warm smile. "I'm glad to be friend with you Amity."

"Same, Hunter."

There was a peaceful silence for a while.

"By the way, don't you think it's weird that Darius is in the mansion with your dad? I know they are making a portal door but still." said Hunter.

"l thought you would never mention! lt's so weird!" shouted Amity suddenly.

"Once l saw Darius staring at to a magazine about Blight industry and in the cover there was a photo of your dad. Are there any chance that they are secretly love-"

"No way!" said Amity. "There's a photo of my dad receiving a championship belt and in that photo Darius looks like he hates him."

Hunter and Amity stopped at the same time and turned to each other. "What if they are..." they said at the same time.

"Enemies to lovers!"

"Secretly rivals!"

"Secretly rivals? I know you're Luz's girlfriend, but this is a bit much!" said Hunter sarcastically.

"lt's better than enemies to lovers idea. It seems like you hang out with Gus a lot. They are both in Abomination coven which creates a perfect atmosphere to be rivals." replied Amity.

"Okay, they both work in the field of Abomination, but that doesn't make them rivals. One is a covenhead and the other is making weapons from Abomination. They have no relation, who knows when they last saw each other."

"Yeah you are right. They didn't see each other for a long time. According to your theory, if they were former enemies, they can't love each other in such a short time." said Amity with a confident smile on her face.

"Do you want to bet?" Hunter said and held out his hand.

"Deal. What do you want?"

"lf l win you will teach me some abomination magic and how you could resist my attacks in Eclipse Lake." said Hunter.

Amity laughed and said "Okay but l feel like you want to defeat me in a possible fight. Abomination magic, my defens strategy...Do you also want to learn my weaknesses?"

"Was it so obvious?" said Hunter mockingly.

Amity laughed at Hunter's expression and then turned serious. "But if l win, you will accept that I'm better than you at fighting and you'll teach me how you can move so fast."

"Says the witch who was making fun of me when I wanted to know her tricks."

"lt's a deal then?" said Amity.

This time Amity didn't strengthen the deal with her magic, she had learned to trust people.

"Deal."

"We lost so much time. Let's say the last one to arrive is the loser!" shouted Amity and started to run.

Hunter laughed and started to run. He passed Amity in the blink of an eye and shouted "Byeee Loser!"

"Not that easy." said Amity and covered the floor with Abomination.

Hunter's feet stuck to the abomination. With the sudden stop, he fell to the ground. "Hey you cheater!"

"Using your speed is also cheating my dear friend, so don't cry."

"l swear Titan it wasn't this sticky last time." Hunter muttered as he tried to escape the Abomination.

Despite Amity's trap, Hunter caught up with Amity thanks to his speed, and they arrived at the gate of the mansion at the same time.

"Looks like we're both losers." said Amity

"That's fine by me." replied Hunter.

At that time, there was a conversation atmosphere in the Owl House.

Luz was talking about what happened after the day of unity day and others' experiences in the human realm.

On the other hand, Hooty had pulled Camila aside and was telling something excitedly.

"And that's the story of how Lulu and I became so close! Now on to my 2nd favorite story: the beginning of Lumity!"

Hearing Lumity, Luz's attention was immediately drawn to them. "Hooty!" she shouted as her cheeks turning red.

Hooty ignored him and continued talking. "One day, Amity came here. Of course, she wasn't here to see Luz. The reason she was here was because she had burned Willow's memories and they needed to bring Willow to The Owl Lady to fix her."

"Amity, burning, memories, Willow...what?" Camila was shocked.

Luz slapped her forehead and moved towards them. "lt's not like that mama, it was an accident."

"No, she clearly did it on purpose." added King at behind.

"I can't believe Amity would do this on purpose." said Camila. "She was always so kind to us."

"Like l said before mama, there is some details about our past that we didn't tell. lt's not a big deal."

"Luz doesn't your mother know that Amity wanted you to be cut into pieces?" asked King.

King knew from Luz's look that he blew it.

"Oh drama!" said Eda while trying not to laugh.

Camila sat down on the couch as she looked at Luz in surprise. "I know there must be a good explanation, I'm listening. When did that happen?"

Luz took a deep breath and sat down next to her mother.

"That was the day I first met Willow. I overheard a conversation between Willow and Amity, and Amity wasn't very friendly back then...So l decided to help Willow."

Luz stopped talking and tried to clear her mind, her mother wouldn't understand if she explained it that way.

"You know those purple things called abominations that Amity create, Willow was making them too before joining plant track, but of course like everyone she wasn't as good as Amity who is the top student."

"Stop praising your girlfriend!" King shouted.

Luz gave King a bad look, he was the reason this conversation started.

"Simply, Amity made fun of Willow saying she is half a witch and l annoyed with Amity because of that. So Willow and l made a deal. I pretended to be her abomination to help her getting good grade in class, and she showed me around the school. But the problem is Amity knew how Willow's real abomination looked like so she kept saying we cheated."

"Oh you two definitely cheated back then, and I'm very proud." said Eda smirkingly.

"At least try a bit to be a good example Eda." said Raine.

"Maybe she wouldn't insist on dealing with us if the abomination professor didn't take her "top student" badge to gave it Willow. lt sure is meant so much to her. To get her badge back, she had to prove to the principal that I wasn't an abomination."

"Abominations can be cut into pieces, so they tried to cut her open." added Eda.

"Luz! Mija, l must say I'm surprised!" said Camila. She came closer and took Luz's hands. "Amity must have felt like all her hard work was stolen. We know how hard-working she is and how much she cares about what she does."

"l know mama, l felt so bad because of that. Especially when l learned what kind of parents she has."

"You were about to talk about her past before arriving here, l think it's time." said Camila.

Luz wondered for a moment if Amity would mind her telling. ln the end, Luz has no right to tell.

"Don't think that much kiddo! Blight knows her girlfriend has a mother and would assume that mother would like to know at least a bit about her life." said Eda.

"Okay then...She has a difficult family. Her father Alador was so busy with their business that he never paid any attention to her, even though her father was the only person she felt close to in the family."

"He said after the day of unity he will try to be a better father and spend time with his children. But then things happened and he lost his only chance to be close with Amity." said King.

"Really, he said that?" asked Luz.

"Yeah, after that he became close with the twins." said King.

Now Luz felt bad. Amity was separated from her father because of her. She had never been on good terms with her mother anyway, and Luz had ruined her chance of being on good terms with her father.

What a so-called awesome girlfriend!

Luz felt her eyes fill with tears. "That's enough explaining for now, I'll explain it better later with photos from my memory, mama."

"I want to walk around a bit, you can stay here, right?" asked Luz.

"Of course Mija."

Looking at the message from Darius, Raine spoke: "When the evening comes, you can go directly to the Blight mansion, Luz, we will all be there in the evening."

Luz nodded.

With Hunter's comforting smile, Amity took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Waiting for an abomination to open the door, Amity was shocked to see her father.

Her father was the one who opened the door.

"Mittens!"

"Dad!" she shouted and give him a tight hug.

He spoke with tears flowing from his eyes "Titan l can't believe you actually find a way back! Twins will be so surprised and happy to see you."

"lt's funny but l missed them like crazy." said Amity and pulled back to end the hug.

While Hunter was looking at this cute moment with happiness, another voice came from behind.

"Even if you hadn't found a way, we would have found you anyway." said Darius and approached.

"We were just making a portal door that could be used at any time thanks to the collector." added Alador.

"We were just able to make it for a one way trip." said Amity.

"Hunter are you okay too right?" asked Alador.

"Yes, thank you for asking Mr.Blight."

"You're really looking way better than the last time l see you" said Darius while smiling.

"Thank you, l must admit l had great time at the human realm but l also missed here." said Hunter.

Amity pulled her father inside to leave alone the two shy guys who can't say they missed each other.

After a few silent moments during which they both struggled to speak, Darius spoke.

"Hunter, while you were in the human realm l thought about something. l don't know whether you want or not but l have an offer to ask. Would you want to live with me?"

"Me? Living with you?"

"Yeah l know it sounds weird-"

"No, no not weird! l would be so happy to live with you!" said Hunter cheerfully.

"Well then, it settled."

At the same time, Amity asked a question to her dad. "What will you do, if you won't do some kind of weapons?"

"Well...l want to invent new things that will help people and make their life easier. Maybe l can continue to make self-defend weapons too."

"lt sounds nice, if you let me, sometimes l can help you too."

Alador looked thoughtful for a moment and then spoke "lf you just want it to spend time with me, l can make you sure l will spend a lot of time with you and the twins"

"Well just not because of that but it would've be a reason too. lt's a nice thing you think that, dad. lt's surprising. You are really trying, l see now."

Alador approached to her and hold her hands. "I'm aware of my mistakes and l made a promise to make it up for you and the twins. I'm sorry l wasn't by your side when you needed."

"l forgive you dad."

"Thank you sweetheart."

“Seeing you as a father is odd." said Darius as they walked in.

"l have three children Darius, get used to it."

Amity and Hunter looked at each other and grinned.

"By the way kids, everyone will come here in the evening and we will have dinner together. There are things we must talk about." said Darius.

"Like what?" asked Hunter

"Let me guess, what will be the new management system, what will education be like if the coven system is abolished and more." said Amity.

"Actually these are some of the topics, so yeah." said Darius.

He studied Amity's appearance and turned to Alador. "l've never seen her before, have l?"

"No, just the twins but it was a long time ago. Actually Amity is the one you would definitely like, she also uses Abomination magic and pretty good at it."

Hearing such praise from her dad for the first time in her life, Amity didn't know what to feel, and since it was spoken in front of the coven head of Abomination magic, she had no choice but to try not to tear up.

"Yeah she is. You remember the Eclipse Lake disaster, it was a disaster for Kikimora because of Amity." added Hunter. He remembered Kikimora's faces color at that day and laughed.

ln that moment, Amity made a promise to herself to praise Hunter in the best way possible when the time came.

"One day l would like to see what you can. And l like your hair color, not green at least." said Darius to her.

"Thank you Mr. Deamonne and l would like to show you what l'm capable of too." said Amity trying to look cool with all her strength.

"So who wants to see the portal door under construction?" asked Alador.

"Me!"

[furiousgoldfish]

(28yo anon) thank you for being so understanding. i did freak out a little bit, yeah, sorry about that. i'm always a bit hesitant about complaining or painting him in any negative light, because he does so much for me... he took care of me (i could have been orphaned), he takes care of our place, he cooks, he helps me with difficult situations (like paperwork etc). i essentially live a very sheltered life, my only 'job' is to... do my job, and bring the money in, to be honest. he is the only person i have. and yes, i do think i would still help him, even if i were allowed to socialize and all. he plans on buying the apartment together and it's a good plan, really... so it's not too bad, there is some possibly positive future for me. i'm just a bit nervous about taking a loan out (i'm anxious about debt in general), and about the fact that he will one day die, leaving me in this too-big-for-one-person flat. i would feel very bad about moving out on my own, anyway, i don't want to abandon him...

as you've said, i feel a bit better after just sharing this with anyone, really. apologies for another long-ish message, i wanted to (again) explain my outburst. you were very kind and your reply didn't make me feel worse, i was just unsure about it, that's all. thank you again.

I have to admit that what you describe as your relationship with your father is almost ... well, it's not as much as parent-child, but as partners or spouses even, again I'm talking off of very little detail here, but please look up 'parentification' and see if any of that applies to you. Sometimes parents will depend on you and develop relationships with you as if you're their partner, and not their kid, and if you're in his control and responsible for bringing money in, and you have no say in the matter, that firstly is unhealthy, and second, not very parent-child like.

While it's normal and common for kids to want to help financially struggling parents when they can chip in and make life better, that would and should, always be, on completely voluntary basis, never enforced, pressured, or demanded. Normal parents wouldn't want that.

It's also not healthy to have your father as the only person in your life, and it feels like this wouldn't be so if you had the chance to go out more, socialize, make friends, meet a partner possibly. It sounds like he doesn't want that, and it might mess with your wanting to take a loan out for him - since he's your only person, and you cannot bear lose your only person (none of us can really, when someone has us in their mercy we will do anything for them), you will do anything he asks, even if you're unsure, nervous, seeing negative consequences for yourself.

I think it's pretty normal to have your parent cook for you, want to help you with paperwork, support you financially, without asking you to give up your socializing, your free time, your freedom and friends and social life and possibly relationships. Again I might be completely wrong and if I am, don't worry, these are just theories, they have absolutely no consequences on your real life, whatever I say if it doesn't feel right, you can completely ignore it and trust your senses, after all, you know your situation better than me, and better than anyone. Your word is the last one, always.

But to an outside eye, it seems like your father is interested in keeping you isolated so he could have you as a replacement of a partner or any other kind of support or financial safety he would otherwise have to seek out himself. It sounds like he has issues with not wanting to even risk you having any kind of freedom, because he would have less of a grip and control over you, and that isn't normal, or healthy, and it breaches your human rights. I don't think he should be doing that, and even if it made him uncomfortable to see you be free, you still have the right to freedom. And for him, it would be healthy to seek out company his own age, and to not depend on you completely finance-wise.

It's also not very parent-like to want to put your child in a situation where they might end up in a home that is too big or unaffordable, or having them take out loans they're not comfortable with. It sounds like he's doing a lot to arrange this situation just so you cannot get away from him, have to depend on him, and are stuck with him, until the last day of his life. And that, is unreasonable and selfish.

I feel like I'm running conspiracy theories on your father, I hope you are not offended. I understand he is someone important to you, who you love and depend on, and I do not mean to go against that. Sometimes scrutinizing someone's actions and intentions can seem brutal, but you are in a very brutal situation here, so I'm doing it in such a way as well. Also sorry I freaked you out, again, we're just talking about this, none of this will have any consequences, I could be 100% wrong about everything here, and only you can judge.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Happy Saturday~ One more or less serious reply + a bunch of silly ones today.

Anonymous asked:

I absolutely love the way you draw everyone in twisted wonderland. I know some out there don’t agree who you ship, but I think otherwise. The way you draw the characters is always amazingly done and I can tell how much you worked on them.

You are an amazing artist so if anyone disagrees then just remember you have some fans out there including me!

Thank you for your support and love, Anon! I always talk about how we didn’t expect anyone at all to enjoy our content, our ships and our thoughts about them, and honestly it still feels bizarre. It’s been a bit more than a year now, and thinking about how anxious we were about posting some of this stuff before is really weird now. So I really can’t stress it enough: hearing your words of support really means a lot. These characters and ships are really dear to us, and as long as we feel passionate about them, we’ll keep posting them <3 I’m very glad you can see our passion for the characters in our drawings! So thank you so much for enjoying the way we see them.

Even though, once again, we don’t expect everyone to like everything that we post. But when people do, it’s very cool.

Anonymous asked:

Idia wouldn’t build a sex machine? Please. He already did; his name is Ortho.

OHHHHHHHHHHH 😭 good point, good point.

The most intense and dangerous sex machine that’s constantly learning new things, what an impressive invention. Shame on you, Idia.

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

What is your hot take of Lilia and Azul mainly becoming friends to swap tips and talk about their boys' (Malleus and Idia) noises and expressions? Like do you think one would be curious and ask for video evidence or maybe the pair would bang in the same room

On the one hand, I feel like Lilia doesn’t treat Azul seriously enough to consider this (i.e. Azul is way too desperate), plus I’m not sure if Lilia and Malleus’ affair is a secret or not. But on the other hand, Lilia loves talking about his boys way too much, so I can see how Azul could get him talking. You just ask correct questions, and at some point Lilia just starts going “oh yeah that one time Malleus really did this thing…” and spilling way too much information to Azul, possibly the worst person to have this conversation with lol And Lilia would also be very interested in Azul’s stories about Idia, mainly because Idia intrigues him.

I can’t believe this actually could work wow.

But would they bang in the same room? Honestly, Lilia and Azul both are kind of unhinged, so if the starts alignm it could happen. It would be such an amazing networking event for Azul lol but at the same time, Azul and Idia both are way too shy to do something like this~

Anonymous asked:

So like I MOSTLY ship Lilia/Idia for the age gap and dichotomy of it all. A charismatic old man who looks like he's a short, cute kid with a tall scrawny emotional wreck of a teenager is just SO inherently fun all on it's own. It's a blast. But also, I have been thinking about this more seriously lately because my faaavorite thing about sleeping beauty that's almost never carried over to remakes is the dramatic irony with aurora and philip's relationship

A princess who doesn't know she's a princess falls in love with a prince who she doesn't know she's engaged to, but she finds out she's engaged and doesn't even know that she's engaged to him. There's a lot you can do to play around with that in a story, where the audience knows this but the characters don't. It's super fun!!! When all the pieces come together in the end, it's really satisfying too!!!!

I'm always disappointed when remakes cut out the dramatic irony of it all, so in twst, despite nothing like that happening with silver outside of the princess part lol I can see a lot of similarities with Lilia and Idia being online friends who don't know that they actually know each other irl, and I won't spoil it here, but some events that have gone down in book 7 make me really excited to see if there will be more references to aurora and philip's relationship between them. I'm suuuuch a big fan of it I'm PUMPED!!!!!!!!!

First of all! I absolutely agree about what you said about Lilia/Idia’s visual and characteristic contrast (well this isn’t surprising to hear lol): they’re just stupidly fun to look at and watch. The age gap also adds a lot to their dynamic.

Second of all, yeah THE COMPARISON REALLY MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. The fact that Lilia and Idia are so close already without even realising makes this ship so amazingly interesting and sweet and funny and cute and hot and dramatic at the same time!! And while I don’t know what exactly you’re referring to (you already know, we haven’t watched book7 yet), but we’ve been thinking about the main story giving Lilidia a painfully tasty moment for a long time now. Yana Toboso looooves her setups and long games with satisfying payoffs, and she’s definitely been preparing something for these two.

Fun fact: Aurora has been my absolute favourite Disney Princess, and even though we’re yet to rewatch the Sleeping Beauty, your ask really got me excited about it. And about book 7 too..! I’m really looking forward to it.