#also I think I'm more anxious than I would otherwise be because when we feel really good for a while

[thethingything]

hmm our brain has made the jump from "wow cooking earlier was awesome! I can't wait to do that more when I have the energy for it again" to "if I can cook every so often people are going to think I should be able to cook for myself all the time and not take me seriously when I'm too fatigued/in too much pain/etc and we're gonna be expected to do stuff we can't do" and started getting anxious and like, hopefully that's not gonna be the case because yeah as much as I want to I definitely can't do this every day so now I'm just trying to reassure or brain that we're not gonna suddenly be expected to do a bunch of stuff without assistence

[hyperactivetransdrone]

Blog Intro

So after looking through several peoples profiles I noticed that introductory posts were pretty common (at least for nsfw sooo here we gooooo)

I'm adding this later on 8/18/24: If (majority) your content is s**sy and your DMing me to try to dominate me, Don't. While I don't mind people who do that/are into that being called that feels like a sexualization of my identity and ergo 1: I hate 2: is disgusting to me, I don't mind if you Identify as one or if you DO just wanna CASUALLY chat but please know that I won't and will never want that or say that word (with the exception of blocking tags involving it or here as a boundary) but if i need to it will be censored. I don't mind if you Identify as one and wanna follow me or anything or just wanna casually chat (or talk sexual just not... making me one to try to explain) feel free to I will NEVER kink shame regardless of how I feel so this won't apply to most people just a very very teeny tiny minority. I won't block you tho unless you cross a boundary or keep pushing, because I feel anyone who wants to read my content should be allowed.

I would also like to say, if you're going to delete your account please don't dm me, it breaks my heart every time

Hello I do not wish to give out my actual name online so you may call me Mz. Hyde (I stole it from the song by the same name by Halestorm) or just... my user-name-tag-thing (always forget what its called)

I am all for Sentient AI but HATE current AI (it doesnt even deserve to be called that)

Outside of this post any posts in blue is rping as a slime-girl-queen-goddess-character. Feel free to send asks or responses directed at her. Her title is Queen of Slimes, The Slime Goddess, or The Slime of the Lake

As of posting this I am still brand new to Tumblr but am learning somewhat quickly sooo things may look A Little odd right now to the average Tumblr user but as soon as I finish learning the basics it should look fine.

Anyway:

19 so 18+ only please, (pre-hrt) Transfem, Bisexual, Autisic+ADHD, overall anxious/shy-ish, probably a switch, Lefty, Type 1 Diabetic (I require insulin to survive), Virgin [:(]

Majority of this blog will be kinky thoughts usually about being dommed or hypno because... I wanna try it. SOME is fantasy tho so keep that in mind (usually my reblogs)

If you are a dom looking for money, unless you are popular and have a good community on here or if you are a s**sy tamer (or whatever it would be called) please don't DM me, unless you just wanna casually chat and don't wanna dom me or if you do please respect:

I really don't like being called an s**sy and will give you one warning before I block you.

I literally have no way to pay you so please don't expect that.

Please read this first, or if I ask you to because otherwise that gives me a red flag in my head and I will probably block you. (Unless it's just casual talking but that's different than what I'm talking about here)

My proof that I take this seriously:

Kinks because that seems to be an important factor on making these types of posts/blogs: Transformation, Hypnosis, Dronification, Denial/Edging, Latex, Brainwashing, Bimbofication, Twinning, Dollification, Forniphilia, Exhibition

Things I enjoy but aren't kinks: Forced Fem, Praise, Good Girl (I'll add more when I think of them)

Limits or things that I will block you about: Human Waste, Blood, Physical Harm, IRL Identity Death (Fantasy is hot AF tho), Sissy (WILL BLOCK YOU), Findom (Unless we're in a romantic relationship), (and a few more I can't remember off the top of my head)

The reason for physical harm being a limit is mostly due to personal problems I've had with S.H. and because of that I hate reading S.H. or other stories or fantasies with physical harm or knifes. Fantasy Violence is ok though. (E.G. Pirates or like a battle between two warrior framed in a Fictional light.) Oh and also no needles. BIG fear of needles, for multiple reasons. Will go in depth if asked.

Finally a few final things about me/general questions:

This is my first Tumblr account that is SPECIFICALLY for NSFW things although I will occasionally post more SFW things but I do love music, video games, card/board games, RPGs/TTRPGs, creative writing, art.

What's your Favorite Color?: I don't have one but my fav combo is Hot Pink and Deep Purple, pretty much if you've ever seen those BIC octagonal see-through pens, those shades of pink and purple specifically

What kinda music do you like?: Power Metal, Rock, some Pop

What video games do you play?: Some Pokemon, Batman: Arkham, Smash Ultimate, Fallout, I can't really get online games yet so unfortunately I cannot play with anyone :'(

Is there anything specific you like about your kinks?: Honestly, in a vacuum I like dronification for productivity because I SUCK at doing anything productive.

The people who have sent questions about Gaza Support (i am broke but here are links to them i am just going to put their profiles for the sake of simplicity and nc some links i cant copy paste):

@ehabayyad23

@freepaleatine95

@mahmoudayyad

@esraayyad14

@ezzaldeens-blog

@foggyruinspost

@ahmed4palestine

@sspsworld

@fidaa-family2

@wafaaresh6

@mahmoudswierh2

@generousvioonanuttieyl

@nishverian

@ahmedalnabeeh11

@shinytastemakerphantom

@nohabed

@ahmaad860

@scentedtyrantmusic

@mahrahpalestine

@d-imtthal

@ayoosh-gaza

@kareem-family2

@save-fatma-gaza3093

@yazan-joud2

Tags to find non-reposts easier (Umm i ran out of colors so these will be bold):

#Random Thoughts, #Edging kink (for post horny thoughts), #Hornyposting (for horny thoughts), #Hydes eepy thoughts (for thoughts i have when sleep deprived), #Hydes Ideas (cool ideas i have), #Hydes Hypno Scripts (for Hypnotic Scripts I make), #Hydes QnA (QnA), #Hydes Depressed Thoughts (Thoughts I have when depressed), #Hydes Kinky Thoughts (thoughts I have that are just generally kinky but it's not hornyposting nor... I forgot what I was going to put here), #Hydes Hypno Scripts (My hypnosis scripts), #Slimeposting (Slime Queen RP posts), #Hydes loving words (to my significant other)

If I get any FAQ I'll either add them here or to a FAQ post.

I now have a sideblog for latex things that look perfect. That is an opinion and just a kink the person they are under the latex is, in my opinion, someone different so anything there that I call 'perfect' is just in terms of kinkiness NOT a reflection of the actual person. The blog is: @trans2latexperfection

If you read this far thank you for reading!!! :3

Blocked Users (i dont normally block people so these people are scammers or assholes, also will not be using @ s either here):

mistress-elizabethh - for calling me a s**sy twice, even after claiming to read pinned

[blushingwife]

I've Got You - a soft!Ghost x OC short story

When I say I'm very anxious about posting this, I mean I'm *deathly* anxious. HOWEVER. I'm so very proud of myself for completing this. You did it, hun :) This is what I've chosen to kickstart my "writing career". I decided to indulge in my deepest guilty pleasure: soft!Ghost. My teenage self would gag at how cheesy this is but you know what? She was lying to herself because she loved the cheesy stuff. There's something in me that wants to keep writing for her. So I think I will. I hope someone enjoys this as much as I loved writing it. More to come. CW: some self-deprecating thoughts. Otherwise, just pure unadulterated fluff.

Failing at his attempt to not panic was causing Simon to panic even more. It wasn’t the first time he’d felt scared in this relationship with Liz. The initial few weeks had been a constant battle with himself to stop believing she would leave once she realized his facade was a scam. A feeling had nagged at the back of his mind telling him he was a fool to trust her. That he was setting himself a trap. Then, the first time they’d argued with intensity, he’d been ready to end it and spare her from the effort and pain. But, truthfully, the thought of leaving was more painful than feeling unworthy of her. They both wished to do better. He’d apologized. She’d apologized. They’d basked in each other’s company after that and realized the experience had brought them closer to understanding how to make it work.

In time, his instincts calmed down. He learned to lean on her when he needed support and also to be her support as needed. So the current rising panic in his gut brought him to those first months and he did not like it one bit.

He kept playing with the loop of his black tie, never quite satisfied with its position. Liz’s younger brother was getting married, the first in the family. Everyone was coming, no matter how remotely they knew the bride and groom. Simon had never been anyone’s plus one before. Was convinced he’d never be. But as he raised his eyes from his neck to the deep brown irises of his reflection in the mirror in front of him, he remembered all of this was as real as it was gonna get. And after today, it would be official. All her family would know they were together.

“You’re fidgeting,” Liz’s voice said behind him. He forced the tension in his neck away with a quick roll of his shoulders.

“’M not” He dropped his arms as a pair of hands rounded his waist and then her weight settled on his back.

“Right.” He could almost feel her amused smirk. “You’re not.”

He raised his arm and reached back, inviting her forward. Liz slid underneath it to his side, never leaving the embrace. She raised her hand to his tie, arranging it exactly to where he wanted it to be, then glanced at him.

“You look handsome.” She kissed his cheek. Simon leaned his head toward her but kept staring into the mirror, into that maskless face that was supposed to be him but felt like someone else.

She ducked her head into his neck as she studied him through the mirror, trying to guess what it was that kept Simon’s attention.

“It’ll be okay,” she whispered. That made Simon divert her eyes to her reflection. “Whatever you’re worried about. It’ll be okay.”

He turned his head to her real self, getting trapped in the depths of her eyes. He swallowed the urge to deny her statement, out of habit. It was still not easy to believe that she actually meant her words. “Yeah,” he agreed, then pressed a light kiss on her lips.

“I’ll be with you,” she said, pressing her palm to his chest. “You know that, right?”

He nods, shifting his stance toward her to pull her into a hug that he felt deep into his soul. The knot in his stomach relaxed when she didn’t press for further explanations. He should tell her what was going through his head. He’d always felt better when she knew. This wouldn’t be any different. Would it?

“Come on,” she pushed him back gently. “We need to get going.”

As they separated, Simon kept his grip on her hand and followed her out of their apartment into the elevator to the garage. They were silent the whole time but she drew small circles in his hand with her thumb. It grounded him. Left room in his mind meanwhile to gather the courage to tell her why he was anxious.

She offered him the car keys as they approached her vehicle. He tilted slightly his head at her as a silent question and she shrugged.

“Not really in the mood to drive,” she explained scrunching her nose. Simon took the keys as Liz dropped them in his hand, then entered the driver’s seat, started the engine and began the ride.

Liz spent most of the silent trip sparing brief glances at him, hoping she wasn’t making him too uncomfortable with her observation. He was gripping the steering wheel too hard almost since they had left. For a whole minute she thought she might have been paranoid, seeing things that weren’t there out of a desire to understand, but she’d watched him enough to know the difference between him being alert and being nervous. Something was bothering him. None of her theories were enough to bring proper conclusions.

“Simon?”

His hands relaxed in an unconscious reflex. His eyes moved for a second toward her before turning to the road ahead.

“Are you okay?” she asked. He rolled his shoulders again, giving her a nonchalant look.

“Sure” She glanced down. Wrong question to ask.

She looked at him for a long time, unable to figure out her next words. How to help him. None of the sentences she thought about seemed decent enough. He would shut down or lie. She swallowed a sigh. It was beyond frustrating. Feeling like being there for him wasn’t enough.

“What?” he asked and arched an eyebrow at her once he noticed she’d been staring. She pursed her lips into a slight smile.

“I love you.”

She had said it so easily he was unable to hide his own grin. His scalp and cheeks warmed. He switched his own palm from the wheel to underneath hers as it rested on her leg and clenched it firmly. Something inside his body stirred uncontrollably every time he heard those words. He wanted to think his actions talked louder. That he always demonstrated his love for her through small daily acts. Trying to say it out loud still felt scathing. Like it would become a duty he needed to step up for while in reality he had nothing to offer. And yet, when he dared ask her why she had not given up on him, her answer was always the same: she didn’t want anything else.

He straightened in his seat as he realized. Yes, he was still scared. Of not being worthy of it. Of fucking it all up. If he said it… there was no going back. But wasn’t he already too far down at this point?

The sound of the GPS reminded him they were arriving at the venue.

The crowd started from the parking lot. Not even minding the unrelenting heat of the sun above their heads, little groups of people talked and laughed while others headed toward the yard or restaurant beside it. Simon chose to park further down, a bit more isolated from where most cars were. He switched off the engine, glancing to his left at the building as Liz stepped outside. Too many people to meet. Would they consider him enough for her, like Liz did? He didn’t want to know.

Liz had walked out and to his side of the car. Her eyes were on him, expectant. He stood, closed the car behind him, then took Liz’s hand in his. As he started walking, Liz pulled him back.

Simon swung to her as she dug inside her tiny party purse and brought out a carefully folded piece of black cloth with white paint.

“I brought it for you,” she said, as she offered his old ghost mask. Simon blinked, tempted by the offer to hide behind his usual facade. He shook his head and she tilted hers to the side, inquisitive. He was not about to turn back on his decision.

“I want to make a good impression on your family.”

She frowned.

“They already know you.”

For the last couple of years, her family had already hosted several Christmas parties and other gatherings to which the 141 was invited. Yes, they’d met Ghost. But they hadn’t met Simon.

“It’s not the same.”

She watched him, as she usually did and only put aside the mask in her purse when Simon pushed her hand down in confirmation. Then, she closed the distance between them as he glanced to the ground. She lifted her hands to his cheeks and forced him to look at her.

“Why not?”

“It just isn’t”

She caressed his cheeks with her thumbs. “Okay. Well… You know you’ve already made a good impression, right?”

He slid his arms around her in silence, holding on to the comfort of her presence.

“They have loved having you around. A mask didn’t make a difference.” She leaned forward, bringing his forehead to hers. His frown deepened Liz’s own. Her heart accelerated in silent outrage.

“Do you know why I know?” she asked. He waited.

“Because wearing it or not, I still see the same man I fell in love with.”

He swallowed thickly. Closing the distance to her lips with his own, he savored her sweet taste like a man drinking in a desert oasis. When they parted for air, Simon leaned into her neck and closed his eyes, trying to print the memory of her scent into his brain as she slid her arms above his shoulders.

“I’ve got you, okay?”

He nods as she strokes his scalp soothingly. She was in no hurry.

“I love you too,” he said, after a while, before the impulse grew weaker.

Her grin lit up her whole face.

“I know.”

When they separated, she was the one to kiss him one last time before walking toward the venue hand in hand, his step lighter than what she had seen for the entire day.

As they made their way toward the entrance, Simon instantly recognized Liz’s mother, Mrs. Hale, a woman in a pale green floral dress with a slight hunch, gray hair in a high bun and still commanding her surroundings with a kind smile. Judging by her welcoming stance and eagerness to spare a greeting to everyone passing, she had taken the role of greeter and guide, pointing out areas of the venue. When Liz and Simon came in, almost the last ones in the queue, the woman immediately lit up at his sight.

“My! Dear, how wonderful to see you again,” she said, going straight for a hug towards a stunned Simon. As far as he remembered, the woman had never seen him before without his mask.

“Good to know you missed me, Mum” Liz retorted with a chuckle “You know I always do but him, I don’t see him that often.” They parted and it was Liz’s turn for a motherly hug.

“How’d you know who I was?”

The woman turned to Simon again with a wide grin, the skin around her eyes wrinkling deeper but in the same way that Liz did when she smiled.

“How could I not?” she waves away his puzzled expression as if it were obvious what she meant. “Dear, let me introduce you to the other side of the family, come, you two,” she urged, then walked further inside without concern about the last of the guests she hadn’t greeted.

Liz felt Simon’s hesitation but she squeezed his hand and when he looked at her, she nodded again to let him know she would be right beside him. Always.

[rose-riot-johnson]

Hello my Tumblr Peeps😀👍I finally decided to work on a fanfic with non other than Jujutsu Kaisen's very own Aoi Todo, as the staring character, so enjoy🌟

📱C'mon Babe! It Was Only A Misunderstanding!📱((Adult) Aoi Todo x Any Gender Reader)

Genres: Misunderstanding Type of Angst, Understanding Type Of Comfort, Communication Comfort, Kissing, and Fluff (Warning⚠️: Mentions Of The Reader Taking A Bath and Anything up to the reader's Imagination)

"What did I do wrong? Why did my babe get upset with my text message to (him/her/them)", Aoi Todo thought to himself, as he was feeling more than anxious. He tried to call you, however he hung up, because of the fact you weren't answering your cellphone, he was scared to wait until the last ring to see, if you would answer your cellphone, and he ended up not expecting you to him back.

Both you and Todo met when the both of you were first years of Jujutsu High, however after both you and Todo graduated Jujutsu High, he asked you out, which you told him yes, to having a relationship with him. While both you and Todo have ups and downs in that relationship, usually the both of you managed to figure things out with eachother.

However, this time, you sent him a pic of one of his orders that came to the place you and Todo shared together, which one of his orders is a body pillow of his favorite tall pop-idol Takada-chan, which the pic of the body pillow consists of you holding it, as you jokingly texted him that he knows he didn't have to buy you this body pillow of Takada-chan, while jokingly thanking him so much, also, then jokingly texted him that you will keep it in a place where he'll never find it when he's home with you, as you will hold it forever while he's not home with you, as you texted lol at the end of the message. Todo found it cute and kind of funny, so he texted his own jokes using emojis he thought would cute, as he then jokingly texted, if this was payback for a (character merch plushie of reader's choice) of a character both you and Todo liked that he got for himself, as he used an emoji he uses when embarrassed or something even jokingly. Then you afterwards texted him on how should you respond to that message, then texting you know all right and that he can have nice days and nights with his "precious" Takada-chan body pillow as he won't hear anymore from you until he can trust you with his item, as you then texted him good night, as you then used emojis that had him convinced that you're mad at him, because of the message he sent you.

After that and the fact that you weren't answering your cellphone when he tried to get ahold of you (which he was starting to get mad over), he almost gave up, as he was thinking of texting you that he was about to give up trying to call and text you or even trying talk to you, then since he realized he's almost home, he then said to himself, "Since I'm almost home, there's no sense in giving up yet, so I might, as well have a talk with (Any Gender Reader Name). He then went inside the home both you and Todo share together, to see about looking for you. He looked in the kitchen, the living room, the room both you and Todo share together (which the Takada-chan body pillow was there, however you weren't in sight), then lastly looked in the bathroom and there you were, as you're almost ready to take a bath.

"Hey, (Any Gender Reader Name)... We need to have a talk... It's important...", Todo said. You replied, "I get it... You want your space! You're mad at me! So, I'm giving you your personal space!". Todo was confused, as he replied back, "What do you mean? What are you talking about? Look babe... I'm not mad at you!". You replied back, "Well, Todo... The text you sent me, has me convinced that you're mad at me and you wanted your space, otherwise...". Todo then asked you to explain to him, as he really doesn't know why you would think that he would be mad at you over what he texted you.

You explained, "Remember that one party, when you were annoyed with me, as you told me to stop teasing you, after I kept poking you, because you were paying more attention to your cellphone... That very night that we almost had a break up on... Which we almost broke up over you getting pissed off at me, literally telling me to quit teasing you, after I kept poking your abs, while you were more focused on your cellphone googling pics constantly than you were on me non stop...". Todo thought about it for a sec then replied, "Oh... I get why you're upset with the message I sent earlier and I remember texting the "teasing me" part, however I don't remember texting the "quit" part.". You got really irritated as you showed him your text messages with him through your cellphone, as you exclaimed, "Look at the messages, Todo! You did text me to quit teasing you! Keep checking, until you realized that you texted me this!".

Todo examined the text message, he texted, like you told him to, until he saw proof that you were right about the text message part as he just realized he jokingly texted babe using emojis, then texted quit teasing him into having me think that you would keep it using more cute emojis, then jokingly texted the question, if this was payback for a (character merch plushie of reader's choice) of a character both you and Todo liked that he got for himself, as he used an emoji he uses when embarrassed or something even jokingly, then he apologized for the message, the reassures you that he's definitely not mad at you, while what almost got him mad was your message after that, then you not answering your cellphone when he was trying to call you, which made him felt that you were mad at him. You explained that you were trying to get ready for a bath to calm yourself down, then reassure him that your not mad at him either.

The both of you realized that, you're not mad at Todo over his messages and he's not mad at you for your messages, as the both of you realized the incident with text messages from earlier was just a misunderstanding and have forgiven eachother, anyways. The both of you then kissed eachother. Ofcourse Todo is willing to let you have your privacy while you were taking a bath, because Todo will respect your wishes, especially if you would like to have privacy while taking a bath.

After your bath you put on the (sleep wear up to the reader's imagination), then went into the bedroom you and Todo share together, to only notice that Todo ended up having plans to give you massages. You were definitely surprised he planned this for you. You then realized he might be up to something, however went along with his plan, anyways. When you got on the bed, he started to massage your neck, then once he's done massaging your neck, he moved his hands to your back.

"Now, Todo... What's the occasion with you massaging me, anyways?", you asked as you're feeling relaxed and curious at the same time. As Todo continued to massage your back, proceeding to get close enough to breathe into your right ear before answering, "Well, (Any Gender Reader Name)... I usually don't like admitting that I was wrong on any part of any situations... However since we both ran into a misunderstanding through our text messages earlier... And coming to realize that I had texted the word "quit" in the same message as the words "teasing me", and not remembering everything I texted earlier... So to make up for this misunderstanding we had earlier... I decided I owe you atleast something... And I figured, if there's anything else you need, just let me know, my babe...", then kissing the right side of your facial cheeks. You were surprised to hear the misunderstanding from earlier being the reason he's doing this, however still relaxed and smiled from what he said and the kiss on the right side of the facial cheeks he gave you.

Todo continued, "And besides... When you're relaxed and happy, I'm relaxed and happy, too... Not because of of the happy spouse, happy house saying or sayings that are similar to that... Aside from my best friend Itadori, who I consider as my brother... You're the only person I feel that way about... I didn't mean to sound corny, like that... Here's something better for me to say... You're the only (boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other), I ever had I truly feel that way about... If I had anyone else, as my partner that way, I wouldn't love them at all, like I super love you, my babe... And I truly mean that...", then he finished massaging you, as you then turned around to look at him. You replied, "I understand... And I super love you too, Todo.", as you kissed Todo on the lips, then hugged him. Later that night you and Todo cuddled with eachother into a deep slumber.

The next morning, you woke up to only realize Todo wasn't in the bed with you, then noticed Todo, wearing a cute apron, as he was carrying a tray full of the food you liked for breakfast, then he said, "Sorry you didn't see me in the bed earlier... I didn't want to wake you up, and I wanted to cook you something... So, here...", as he happily handed you the tray before he continued, "Time for breakfast, (Any Gender Reader Name)...", then proceeded to wink at you. You were surprised he cooked you so e breakfast. You're so thankful he did that for you, too. That's because, besides Itadori, you are someone he will do anything for.

After you finished eating your breakfast, both you and Todo snuggled for a couple extra hours. Eversince those couple of days, both you and Todo began to bond with eachother more and have more of an understanding with eachother in your relationship with him. Even communication has been key for both you and Todo.

The End

Don't mind the short intro, prior to writing the fanfic itself my Tumblr Peeps😅 Anyways I really wanted to work on a fanfic that involves misunderstandings and I actually was gonna pick another character for this, then I did decide last minute that maybe have work with Todo as the staring character for this type of fanfic🤔���😁 I did add alot of stuff for the ending for this fanfic, however the misunderstanding parts of the fanfic and understanding the root of what happened with the misunderstandings, are the main ideas I went for with the fanfic, even before fully decided which character to star in this fanfic😁👍 I get maybe the warnings maybe atleast a little harmless, if you think that it is, however the bathtub part and the clothing up to the reader's imagination part are reasons why put these warnings that I did for this fanfic😅🤷‍♀️Anyways my Tumblr Peeps, I do truly hope you enjoy the first Aoi Todo fanfic I had actually written, because I do actually like him (character wise), because I was noticing that he became friends with Itadori (yes, I know why they're friends, however still), so if he is Itadori's friend (Megumi Fushiguro, included) (or considers Itadori their brother or stuff like that) then I like that character😁👍I hope you have fun reading this fanfic, as much as I had fun writing it, my Tumblr Peeps📱🌟💫

[thefallenangelsgang]

BALDUR'S GATE 3 x MAMMA MIA! AU

CHARACTERS

[YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO USE MY IDEA FOR ANYTHING YOU WANT, I ONLY ASK YOU CREDIT ME]

(break to save your dash)

Now, not every character is going to fit cleanly into character slots (there are too many characters to fill the main cast) so some of our Baldur's Gate loves will be sharing character traits and plot devices amongst each other.

Let’s start with Donna: She will be played by Tav obviously. I mean there really is no other choice here. We need someone who has gotten romantically entangled with multiple if not all the companions. The one unfortunate snag is that Tav has to carry or otherwise create the child of dubious parentage without the other parent knowing. That does pigeonhole the characterization a bit unless you want to go the magic route with it (which opens a line of ethical questioning beyond not telling the Parent of your child about the existence of said child)

For the purposes of this thought experiment, I'm operating under Tav being AFAB and having a womb to carry the baby. I’m also operating under the idea that all the companions have the reproductive organs of the gender they present as in game. If anyone wants to actually do something with this they are free to do whatever the fuck they want and use whatever headcanons they want. 

Sophie is going to be played by Tav’s kid. This one doesn’t have a hard and fast gender rule (TIL Sophus is the masculine version of Sophie) but they have to want to know who their other sire is and be generally chaotic which is not hard when they’ve grown up with the Tadfools as their role models. It is important that they display mostly Tav’s traits with others that could be any one of their other parent’s. (think Amanda Siefried and Meryl Streep are both blonde and similarly built. Sophie draws like Sam and sings and plays like Harry and has Bill’s adventurous spunk)

For ease of writing Tav’s Kid will be referred to as Soph from here on out.

Speaking of Sires, the Dads:

Sam: I waffled a LOT on who to choose out of the Baldur’s Boys because I wanted to keep it to just the traditional three and to just companions. You can obviously shuffle around people (I'm sure the Rolan girlies (gender neutral) would love putting him in this AU) and expand the possible dad list (though I don’t know how to split the characteristics like the Donna’s Friends). I chose to go with Gale here. I think he fits the very no nonsense and very anxious vibes from Sam in the show/movie. Instead of a business person who “went home to get married” perhaps Gale got called upon by Mystra as her Chosen and left to focus on his Wizardry. He is definitely the kind to break Tav’s heart over duty and be so ashamed he doesn’t really speak to them for 20 years. 

Bill: This one was damn near a no brainer once I was considering it. It’s Halsin. Who better to be the Hippie, fun-loving, sex god and travel writer? He retains all his Baldur’s Gate characteristics. His experience with Tav is truly just a bit of fun before they both go their separate ways. Their relationship is HEAPS less frigid than Gale and Tav’s. 

Now this is where you can go two ways with this. You could give Halsin is canon good ending (Reithwin with the kids) BUT we miss Bill being scared shitless at the prospect of having a child which I always loved as a characterization (Skarsgard plays it like a champ in the film, he looks like he’s gonna have a heart attack lmao). I feel like Clan Dad Halsin after 20 years is way too open to the idea of having something permanent like a kid. Wandering Arch Druid Halsin might be a little more scared shitless at the idea. That one is a personal preference, I think I’d prefer Reithwin Halsin even though I miss the majesty of an internal conflict.

Harry: Now this one also was a no-brainer but needs to be explained with some tact. It’s Astarion. It is not because Astarion is the most effeminate of the group. For those that don’t know, Harry is canonically gay. The companions are all pan. I chose Astarion because there is an opportunity to do something else transformative with Astarion and Tav’s tryst. 

In Mamma Mia, Harry talks about how Donna is the last and only woman he’s loved and their time together helped him accept his sexuality. In the stage show he’s in a committed relationship (his partner's name is fully escaping me atm). It always stuck out to me that Donna changed Harry and that’s why he still loves her after all these years. Sam obviously regrets leaving to do what was expected of him because he didn’t love his first wife. Bill sees the life of adventure and companionship he could have had with Donna but acknowledges that that time is behind them and still loves her anyways. And Harry loves that Donna made him see himself clearly for the first time in his life and loves her for it. You can see why Astarion came to mind I hope. 

Astarion’s night with Tav was him figuring out what intimacy meant to him after finally closing the Cazador Chapter of his life. The encounter was brief but it changed him for the better and allowed him to start healing.

EDIT: I realized I didn’t cover Astarion’s Vampirism at all. For story purposes assume he has some kind of temporary solution to the sun issue because I need his ass to be present when this is set on a fantasy Greek island. The Dhampir issue is… something. I sludged through some further thought experiments. Tav and the kid being Tieflings hides the fang coloration issue. Explaining away that the characteristics haven’t presented yet because the kid is still quite young by nearly all standards (20 is just barely of age for humans, and though they are full grown biologically they are still children in Elven society) and also have been largely sheltered from danger their whole life also works.

But to be honest, despite what the second movie and its director want you to believe, I think Harry is the least likely father of the three. I am comfortable extending this to Astarion. 

Okay now we are into the Dynamos! Fuck yes! Rosie and Tanya are my favorites (it helps that they are PERFECTLY casted in the movie oh my god). I have split their characteristics across the girls. There are some of the companions that are obviously one or the other (Karlach is the most Rosie coded while Minthara SCREAMS Tanya) while others send mixed signals (Shadowheart is the most even, skewing towards Tanya slightly while Lae’zel has Tanya’s bitchy attitude and Rosie’s  “lone wolf” outlook) SO I’m going to make a chart

Like Astarion, for story purposes, assume Karlach’s heart issue has been solved.

Graphic design is my passion

ANYWAYS you may have noticed three of our friends are missing from this line up. Our intrepid Folk Hero Formally Known As The Blade of Frontiers, Wyll, Pack Mother, Jaheria, and her trusty ride or die Rashamen, Minsc (and don’t forget Boo!). 

I had some trouble with these nerds because initially I was playing with making Wyll the second half of Sam, he would have usurped the businessman and maybe the gone home to get married bit while Gale was the heartbreaker and took something from Bill’s characterization, but I was having trouble with losing character motivations. Plus Wyll is canonically not the type for flings. So I am having him be a good family friend invited to the wedding but not involved in the parentage. He essentially is a more involved part of the Greek Chorus. He could take Sam entirely if you are not the type for Gale but you will see why I did this when I get into the songs (yes I am that fucking insane about this.) 

Jaheira does have the countenance to be a Dynamo BUT there is this minor character that I think about way too often that I wanted her to take. She is only mentioned in the first movie and the stage show in one line and seen a little in the second movie (which is a fever dream and convolutes the “lore” but I love it anyways). It’s Bill’s Great Aunt Sophia that left Donna the money to start Villa Donna. OBVIOUSLY she isn’t directly going to be playing Halsin’s Great Aunt or be dead (though she will be ancient by then) but she’s going to fill the mentor role for Tav and help out with Soph. She is the only one who knows that Gale Halsin and Astarion are the possible fathers until the beginning of the shenanigans.

Minsc, like Wyll, doesn’t have a direct parallel. He is also a part of the more involved Greek Chorus. He is Soph’s crazy uncle. He got them into all kinds of trouble and still does to this day. He gives a less emotional and personal version of Sam’s “are you sure you want to do this, you are so young” speech that essentially is offering to run off and be warriors (His plan does not get them away from anyone, he’s unanimously elected that the entire tadfool group is coming with them). But he does it after Gale gives the original speech that severely upsets Soph so it serves as a cheer up speech (“Minsc is unsure if the Wizard should come along seeing as he has upset the little warrior so, but Boo says he is very useful and Minsc agrees. So he can come with, but he does not get to pet Boo’s furry little bottom!”). 

The rest of our Greek Chorus and people like Sky and Sophie’s Friends are filled out by various NPCs. Pepper is played by Mol. Ali and Lisa are open to OCs to be honest but the idea of Yenna and Arabella hearing the saucy details of a story they were partly involved in is really funny to me so they are listed in the song list as the backup singers. Sky is an OC because I wasn’t fully comfortable using any of the child NPCs. He’s referred to as Soph’s partner.

[im-a-king-baby]

hi ! first of all; i read ELYN over the easter weekend and stayed up till like five am waiting for it to get happy so i could sleep (i gave up) and i loved it so so much. It just feels like such a tangible, realistic outcome for them (if we ignore s3) it made me ache in that exact anxious yearning way the actual show does. Big ask and 100% appreciate it if the answer is no but are you planning to write more for them in that universe? Would love to see them when Wille is at university, or see Wille simply make some (oblivious?) uni friends, or see Sara and Simon interact again or honestly literally anything and everything.

secondly, and who knows maybe (probably) you’re aware of this but the photos/images in the fic do not appear as images but just as a text/error box? Is that intentional or did they break? I kept finding myself curious as to what image was put with the chapters haha

Hi!!! I hope you had a good easter... and went to sleep at some point... 😅

Thank you for alerting me about the images! I was not aware of that :( Although I guess that makes all those hours hardcoding the text threads and tumblr posts so they would work without images worth it 😂

I have gone through it all again and updated the image links so they are working for me now (let me know if they're still broken for you?).

There's nothing in them that's required to follow the fic, you just get to judge the time I spent procrastinating by making album covers and then sorting all the random pop songs I'd invented into albums (something that was definitely vital even though no one but me cares about the difference in vibe between Simme eras 🤣).

If you are just interested in the art, these are the 4 covers I used in the fic:

Sadly this fic was always destined to lose canon status after season 3 (although I am going to keep believing August's arc could go the ELYN route until proven otherwise).

Regarding sequels, prooobably not? Sorry :( I have more notes for Simon pov scenes during and before than anything set after because I'm not sure what more I have to say, (other than wanting to write something of ELYN Wille with Edvin's new haircut but basically all I've got is this:

For a moment Simon thinks Wilhelm isn’t even here, then the bleached blond head turns and it’s Wilhelm’s face and Wilhelm’s eyes and Wilhelm’s mouth dropping open in surprise at seeing Simon in the doorway. “You’re here,” Wilhelm says. “How are you -?” “You cut your hair.” It’s dumb. Obviously. But Simon hasn’t slept and Wilhelm’s hair is almost white, sharp and bristled, and Simon wants to touch it, to see if it hurts. “I…” Wilhelm hesitates. “There were always rules about my appearance, about how I was allowed to look, and I thought…” he reaches a hand to his hairline, his face falling a little. “Do you hate it?” The bristles give under his fingers, impossibly soft. He looks older, but also somehow younger, like he’s reclaiming the rebellious teen years that the crown never let him have. “I want to kiss you,” Simon says. The coffee shop is full of people. At least four that Simon can see are looking at them, not even trying to be subtle. There’s a camera tilted in their direction, but it’s not close. “Can I kiss you?” “I-” Wilhelm starts doing the same glance - who’s watching, who’s filming - then seems to catch himself, snorts a soft laugh and pulls Simon in. It's too short for Simon to catch hold of, but he can run his fingers through it and it's soft or ghost them over to catch the sharp edges of the tips, and it's Wilhelm and he's here, they're both here. And they're going to be okay.

<3

[innerpalaces]

The Life of a Cannon Fodder Mother-in-Law - 40

Chapter 40: The Step-Mother-in-Law 7

When the mother and son first heard that the Li family was having a birthday celebration, after they discussed the gift, they found that they did not have enough money to purchase an adequate present and considered what they could give away.

After thinking about it, only Zhang Manyue's jade pendant was decent. So, the mother and son immediately decided that the main gift would be the jade pendant, and they would spend money to buy other things. However, Zhang Manyue was not as easy to negotiate with as before. After trying so hard, on the day of the birthday banquet, they still couldn't get the jade pendant, so they decided to exchange the jade pendant for the shop. At that time, both mother and son wanted to deal with the immediate problem first. Looking back now, weren't they just giving away the family's ancestral property? Just now, the old madam didn't think she could open her mouth to ask for the gift back. When she promised her daughter-in-law a few moments ago, she just wanted to persuade her first. But at this moment, asking for the gift back suddenly didn't feel like a big deal. The jade pendant must be retrieved before it can be exchanged for their shop. Otherwise, the Ge mother and son would really become prodigals who sold off their ancestral property. "I'll give you the jade pendant back!" Liu Yuniang refused: "Can it be exchanged just because you say so? No!" Hearing this, the mother and son became anxious. Ge Guangping also became anxious: "Mom, this shop can't be sold! I'll ask for the jade pendant. I will definitely get it back for you." "Yes!" Hearing his son speak, Ge Gen felt that the matter was settled and immediately said : "If Guangping goes to ask for it, she will definitely return it. Manyue, I know you want that jade pendant, so don't be stubborn."

"I want the shop. It's just like doing business. If someone took a bite of the things you sell and then brought them back for a refund, are you willing to accept it?" Liu Yuniang argued, "You gave away the jade pendant in front of so many people. You got fame and benefits, but you don't want to give anything in return. How can there be such a good thing in the world? I don't want the jade pendant, and I must sell the shop."

She turned her eyes to Ge Gen again: "As for the divorce, if you don't want to, I can afford to delay it. What I said before counts. If you give the gift, I won't live like this anymore. From today on, I'm no longer your Ge family's wife. Don't expect me to take care of the family affairs or get involved in anything at home. Of course, if you don't let me go, you have to take care of me. That includes food and drink."

The three members of the Ge family looked at each other. This was clearly a rogue act. The old madam was so angry that she banged the table: "What a misfortune for our family!" Liu Yuniang looked disapproving and walked away. Before leaving, she said, "I have worked hard for more than ten years after marrying into the Ge family. I have even given birth to children for the Ge family. I don't feel guilty if I eat a few meals from you. If you don't prepare meals for me, you are really worse than animals... If you are not afraid of losing face, you can try it."

She disappeared down the street, and the three generations of grandparents and grandchildren came back to their senses. Ge Gen frowned: "Mom, what should we do now?" Before the old madam could speak, Ge Guangping had already demanded: "Who asked you to use the shop to exchange with her for the jade pendant?" He said angrily, "I am the eldest son in the family, and I have been working in this shop for many years. Even if I have no merit, I have worked hard! Why didn't you discuss such a big thing with me in advance?" Not to mention discussing it, they didn't even tell him. Ge Guangping became angrier as he thought about it. Ge Gen looked helpless: "The situation was urgent and I didn't have time to tell you. Besides, although I promised to give her the shop at that time, I never dreamed that she would sell it! Your grandmother was there at the time, and she agreed. We have worked hard to get closer to the Li family. In the final analysis, it was all for your future. I hope your mother can help you in the future." The old madam took over the conversation: "Yes, if you have a rich relative, even if you are down and out and need to borrow money in the future, there will be a place to ask for help!"

"No matter how much we want to get closer, we can't give away our family's shop!" Ge Guangping said sadly: "Next time, will you give away our house as well?"

The mother and son were in the wrong, but the old madam frowned: "Guangping, no matter how wrong your father and I were, we are still your elders. You can't talk to us like this. Your father and I have no selfish motives in giving those gifts. It's all for you. This time, it can only be said that Zhang Manyue is to stubborn, which your father and I didn't expect. Life is so long, everyone will make mistakes. You did a lot of bad things when you were a child. Your father and I have forgiven you."

Therefore, Ge Guangping also has to forgive them. If he remained angry about it, it means that Ge Guangping is ignorant. These words were rational and well-founded, and Ge Guangping understood their reasons,  but he just couldn't accept it. Especially since, when Zhang Manyue left just now, she had emphasized that she must sell the shop. From beginning to the end, she had no intention of reconciliation. Grandmother, son, and grandson stood together and worried. On the other side, Liu Yuniang returned to the house, feeling extremely satisfied. Yan Niang was doing laundry unhappily. Seeing Liu Yuniang arriving, she said casually: "Mom, I can't wring them out, come and help me." "If you can't wring them, think of a way yourself." Liu Yuniang walked past her and went into the house: "Don't count on me for anything at home in the future."

Yan Niang's heart sank: "Dad will be angry." "I'm not afraid of him." Liu Yuniang washed her hands and said, "Anyway, I don't want to be the wife of the Ge family anymore. Let him be angry or not. If he is really angry, just send me out."

Yan Niang: "..." In the evening, Guangyu and her brother came back, and Liu Yuniang called them to the main room. "I plan to leave the Ge family in the next few days. You two should pack your luggage when you have time so you can come with me."   Both siblings were stunned. They knew that their parents were quarreling, and that their mother was very angry this time and often said she wanted to leave. The siblings were quite worried, but they never took her words seriously. There are so many couples who quarrel in this world, and they never thought that their parents would really quarrel to the point of separation. "I don't want to give in." Liu Yuniang looked at the two siblings: "You are not children anymore. You must have seen how I have lived these years. I don't think I am worse than Yan Songyu and I have been a worthy daughter-in-law to the Ge family. But your father and grandmother are blind and often compare us. She is Yan Songyu, a fairy in the sky, and I am the mud on the ground... I used to tolerate it, but now they are getting more and more excessive, and I don't want to bear it anymore."

Ge Guangyu knew that her mother had been wronged, and she didn't want to stay. She just couldn't help but feel panicked and scared when she thought of leaving. "Will dad let you leave?" Especially after she took ownership of the shop. Ge Guangxing was equally worried. "He will be willing." Liu Yuniang instructed: "After you pack your luggage, go to your masters as usual every day. Don't stay at home and be ordered around by them." If a child was not filial, they would be scolded. The two siblings would be forced to do some work at home, but Zhang Manyue would probably not be willing to let them serve the Ge family. Liu Yuniang had already announced that she would no longer help the family. The old madam did not think that she would change her temper immediately, so she came back early to make dinner. The Ge's shop was not big, but it was very busy. Usually, the old madam was not willing to come back early at all. Besides, she hadn't cooked for many years, so she was not comfortable with anything. When she saw Yan Niang making a fire, she immediately had an idea. "Yan Niang, you will cook starting tomorrow." Yan Niang had been trying her best to reduce her presence. She had done too much work in the past two days, and she was afraid that the old madam would think of her. Unexpectedly, even though she shrank like a turtle, the old madam still remembered. She smiled bitterly and said, "Grandmother, it's not that I'm lazy, it's just that I'm pregnant and don't have the strength to work. There is water everywhere in the kitchen. If I slip on it and fall..."

"In the past, your mother had to cook all the time, even up until she was about to give birth. Be cautious and everything will be fine." The old madam was unhappy, but she couldn't bear to get angry at her son and grandson, so she became less polite to her grandson's wife: "Your husband's mother is the wife of a rich family, but we are just ordinary people. Don't be so squeamish. If you have the ability, let him take you to the Li family. Then you don't have to do anything. Just raise your hand and someone will bring you things..."

Yan Niang's family was not rich. If one were honest, they were not even as well off as the Ge family. She had never had a good life since she was a child, and she really wanted to go to the Li family's house. As long as one can be fed, clothed, and cared for, who cares about being ostracized or disliked by others. When Liu Yuniang heard this, she folded her arms and leaned against the kitchen door: "The couple would like to go, but it would require Yan Songyu to have that ability. Over the years, aside from a few snacks to fill the stomach, have any of the things she has sent back been something our family can really use? Just by looking at these things, you can guess her situation in the Li family. She can't even support herself, bringing in an oil bottle (t/n: “oil bottle,” is a derogatory term referring to children from a previous marriage, since these children were often thought of as unwanted by their step parents in the past) would just be a dream."

The old madam scolded: "You are everywhere! If you don't want to work, get out of here!"

"I won't get out. What can you do?" Not only did Liu Yuniang not leave, but she also entered the kitchen and raised her hand to take a smoked chicken hanging there: "This thing has been here for more than half a year. It will go bad if it continues to hang here. Let's eat it!" As she said that, she threw it directly into the boiling pot of water. This kind of smoked chicken is cured with salt and had to be hung in the kitchen for smoking. If it got wet, it would rot. The old madam was startled, and when she realized what she was doing, she was furious: "Why are you eating meat when it's not the holidays?" Liu Yuniang looked innocent: "It's going to go bad!" "I think you have a bad heart!" The chicken was thrown into the water, and it had to be washed.  While washing, the old madam cursed: "Get out of here." Liu Yuniang raised her eyebrows and threw in a piece of smoked bacon. In the face of the old madam's angry glare, she clapped her hands: "Don't scold me, I'm scared. When I'm scared, my hands tend to shake. There seem to be a lot of eggs at home...."

Old madam: "..." Still want to break her eggs!? She immediately swallowed the bad words on her lips: "You go out. I'll call you when the food is ready, okay?" Liu Yuniang was satisfied: "Don't eat secretly!" These words were very familiar to the old madam's ears. She used to say this often. In fact, the family lived frugally, and Zhang Manyue would never eat any extra. In fact, she saved everything and gave it to the Ge family mother and son and the children. Stealing food had never happened before. The old madam wanted to get angry again, but when she met her daughter-in-law's expectant eyes, she bit her lip to hold back. Seeing that she didn't shout, Liu Yuniang looked disappointed: "It seems that I can't eat these eggs. Hurry up and cook, I'm hungry." The old madam's anger rushed to her head. She realized that her daughter-in-law was like a fire starter. Every time she opened her mouth, she was lighting a firecracker. Liu Yuniang took a few steps and then turned back: "Older people should lose their temper less, otherwise they will become paralyzed with anger... If I were you, I wouldn't bear this anger and would send the aggravating person away!" The old madam gritted her teeth: "You're dreaming! " As long as she stays in the Ge family, the shop belongs to the Ge family. Just as she was thinking this, her daughter-in-law slapped her forehead and said, "By the way, I sold the shop for sixteen taels, and I've already collected the deposit. Tomorrow, the new owner will take over." The old madam just felt a buzz in her head, and for a moment it seemed like the world was spinning.

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[eleni-cherie]

a thief's end ✨ || bts • myg - chapter 1.2

"so eager to be in a headlock again?"

"only if it's by you."

he thought he was done with the criminal life and ready for some peace and quiet. but his plans collapsed in the form of a strange girl who was in trouble.

© 2023 | eleni_cherie

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masterlist: here

— genre: thief au, gangster comedy, adventure, romcom, humour, angst, fluff, sexual tensiON, slowburn, mutual pining, strangers to lovers s2l

ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. CHARACTERS NOT NECESSARILY LIKE THE REAL PERSONS. ALSO VERY UNREALISTIC PLOT LOL - JUST PRETEND READING A MANGA/COMIC OR WATCHING A FILM, REALLY.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES. MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE & BLOOD (BUT NOTHING TOO GRAPHIC, IT'S STILL A COMEDY!)

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Seoul, South Korea

Soyeon blew out a long sigh before taking a sip from her iced coffee. It felt odd to be back in Seoul after three weeks. Weeks of feeling terrified and anxious when now everything seemed back to normal. As if any of the previous incidents had never happened. A strange thought. Like a fever dream.

Her eyes wandered out to the people passing by on the street. It was a mild summer day, most going out for a walk or to meet friends. And she wondered if and how Arabella was planning to find her. Recalling their last conversation on the phone in the restrooms of the italian police station.

"They'll be flown out to Seoul tomorrow."

Arabella hummed, going silent then and Soyeon thought she had hung up, when she spoke up again. "What about you?"

"I'll have to give my testimony. Hope they can arrest that jerk.." she scoffed, "And after that, agent Jeon assured me I could fly back to Korea with them. After all, I don't have any papers with me to get back otherwise.."

"Alright."

"They'll escape won't they?"

"I don't think they'll try."

Soyeon frowned. "W-what? Will they just stay arrested and fac-"

"No, no. Obviously they'll flee," Arabella laughed, "But if they're smart, which Yoongi and Taehyung are, I guess my idiot as well, they'll do it when they're back in Seoul. It wouldn't make sense to escape now and try getting back to Taiwan from there. They'd be more obstacles with pops being on their tail. The smart move would be for them to do it in Korea, which is way closer to Taiwan and has direct connections."

The younger woman hummed understanding. If put like that, it made indeed sense. And Arabella was supposedly a thief as well, or had been, so she should know more than her.

"No need to worry," Arabella said then, "I'll fly out to Seoul myself. I'm sick of sitting here idle and missing out on all the fun anyway, so I'll help them get out."

"A-aren't you afraid of getting caught as well?"

Arabella clicked her tongue almost offended at the insinuation. "Please, I'm not a noob like them!"

Soyeon pursed her lips, unsure if she was going to regret her next move. "C-could I come with you?"

"You mean in bailing the guys out? Absolutely not. You're unexperienced."

She wasn't able to argue with that and yet, she tried to. "I know.. but I feel miserable. They're only in this situation because of me. Obviously I'd let you professional take care of the difficult stuff, but.. but.." Her jaw clenched when thinking about Yoongi's expression when she'd last seen him. Those glum eyes. And him being in a cell now like a criminal. She knew he technically was one, been one in the past. But he wasn't one to her. He was much more to her than that. "If I can help in any way, even if only a little bit.."

"I could think of a way.." Arabella contemplated then with a sigh, "But just to be clear, if Yoongi gets angry at me for getting you involved, it was your fault. You were persistent and demanded to be part of it, not letting me any choice. Got it?"

Soyeon's eyes lit up. "Yeah, yes, of course!"

"Alright, see you in Seoul then."

"W-wait, where should we meet?"

"Don't worry about that, I'll find you."

And with that she hung up. Leaving Soyeon perplexed back.

She took another sip, taking her phone out and going to her photo gallery. She didn't feel like returning home yet. Getting adjusted to work again was already hard, but then staying in her lonely apart was almost insufferable.

A sentimental feeling overtaking her as she scrolled through her photos, stopping at the last one she had of her grandfather. He was attempting to smile, something he rarely did in photos. Not because he'd been a serious man, rather because he liked to appear like one. She giggled. That somehow reminded her of Yoongi. On the outside he seemed cool, calm, collected, but she had managed to catch a glimpse of his true nature. The warm, kind and caring side of his.

Her brows knitted together when a hot ache flowed threw her chest. She swiped away to another photo of her grandfather. It was of a photo from her grandmother's albums, showing her grandfather heaving little Soyeon up on one arm. Holding her high and smiling up at her.

Yeah, she remembered, her grandfather used to do that when she was little. Carrying her around and holding her up, making her feel like a giant.

Tears started welling up in the corner of her eyes and she quickly wiped them away before anyone noticed. Deciding to lock the phone and swallow the lump in her throat down with another sip from her cold drink.

"Did something happen?" A voice behind her asked and she internally cursed, hoping the person didn't mean her, when suddenly the chair next to her was pulled out and a women with long dark hair and black eyeglasses sat down. Eyeing her suspiciously from above the glasses.

"N-no, just remembered something. That's all," she quickly said, perplexed by the stranger.

The woman hummed and Soyeon began wondering what she wanted from her, when it finally clicked. "Arabella?"

"Yup, that's me."

Her eyes widened. "How, how did you find me?"

Arabella's lips pulled up into a grin as she shrugged nonchalantly. "I got my ways." She waved at someone then, soon another person appearing next to them much to Soyeon's surprise as she recognised them.

"The doctor?"

"Hey," the red-head smiled and sat down at the empty seat between them, "I see the wound's healing nicely." Cassandra pointed at her forehead to which the younger girl smiled, nodding shyly. "Yes, thanks again." Soyeon's brows furrowed then. "W-what are you doing here, though?"

Cassandra playfully huffed, folding her arms in front of her puffed out chest. "Why? My husband also got caught after all! And besides, I always wanted to take part in a mission. Tae just never let me." She pouted then before grinning at Arabella, patting her shoulder. "That's why I convinced Bella here to let me help. We're forming a girls' gang now, bailing out our idiots!"

The dyed-brunette only rolled her eyes. "'Convinced' is quite a light way to put it. You blackmailed me in saying you wouldn't give me a pda otherwise."

She pointed at her belly and only then did Soyeon notice the bump.

"Ah-ah, I said I would advice your doctor not to give you any."

"Still blackmailing," Arabella whined, heaving a frustrated groan then and burried her face into her palms, "Tae and Yoongi will kill me if they see you two here, ugh."

"I'm taking full blame, don't worry," her friend ensured her to which Soyeon quickly nodded.

"M-me too!"

She exhaled deeply, leaning back. "Fine.."

Soyeon raised her hand then as if she was in class. "Uhm , excuse me I got a question.." She pointed at Arabella's belly, "You're pregnant, right? Is it okay if y-"

"It's totally fine," Arabella quickly dismissed her question with a wave of her hand, "Just because I'm pregnant people don't have to treat me with kid gloves. I won't do anything risky and besides -" She faced Cassandra then with a smirk. "We got the doc here after all, just in case."

She grabbed a tablet out of her handbag then, switching it on. "Now let's get down to business."

Soyeon raised her hand again, interrupting her once again with a shy grin. "I should probably tell you that I've to go to interpol tomorrow."

Arabella frowned, setting the device down. "Why? Didn't they interrogate you in Italy already? "

"Only about what went down in Taiwan and in Italy. Now they wanna ask me further questions about my grandpa, although I really don't know what I could possibly tell them.." Frankly, she knew less than they did about her grandfather's life as a thief.

Arabella hummed, that piece of information perhaps turning into something helpful.

"What time exactly?"

"T-they said they'd be out all day long. So 5pm."

The professional among them contemplated for a moment, smirking then. "Right before their shift ends. Perfect. New plan then!"

»»»

Yoongi was staring at the white wall in front of him. Stifling a sigh, he stretched his arms over his head. He could tell the sun was setting by the few streaks of light coming from the window.

Seconds turned to minutes and minutes to hours.

When his eyes grew tired, he'd close them, otherwise he'd keep them on the white painted bricks. If he had his sword he'd just cut through the door with ease, but Seokjin had obviously confiscated it. So there wasn't much left but to stare and wait. There wasn't much else to do. He was alone with his thoughts.

It wasn't the first time they had been caught and sitting in different cells. And they always had a plan for this. However, considering they hadn't planned to ever see a custody cell again, he couldn't help but feel sullen.

He was the one involved with Soyeon, not them. If Jimin and Taehyung wouldn't have joined, they wouldn't be there with him now.

Soyeon.

He wondered what she was doing right now. He had heard from Jungkook that they had also flown her back to Seoul.

He smiled to himself, being sure she was finally able to return to her normal life with this story being hopefully over. That had been their intention after all by luring interpol to Italy. They already had a case file on the younger Rossi, so it shouldn't have been a problem for them to do something against him now either. And they would, he was certain of it. He just hoped she could find her peace now and enjoy life again without any fears.

For a second he wondered if he should look for her after they get out, but he quickly dismissed that ridiculous thought. After all this traumatic experience, she probably didn't want to see anything or anyone that reminded her of it and he unfortunately counted among that. It was probably better this way anyway, even if he had retired of being a criminal and only got back because of this, he was probably not the right person for her. He bit his inner cheek, a mix of sorrow and relief spreading inside him.

She deserved someone normal. Someone who wouldn't potentially drag her into this kind of situation again.

And besides, her real life was taking place in Seoul while he was forced to return to Taiwan.

The two had no prospects from the beginning.

Yoongi never considered himself a lucky guy. The only good thing that had ever happened to him was meeting his two friends, but otherwise he'd never seen himself favoured by fortune.

Although, the time he had spent with Soyeon, even if short, had felt like luck in a way.

Luck.

Such a weird concept. He rarely truly understood it. So he accepted things for how they were. Perhaps it was some kind of karma for past mistakes. There'd been more than enough anyway.

»»»

Arabella's plan was simple or at least not as complicated as it could be.

"There's a catch though," she explained as she eyed the other two women over Soyeon's coffee table. They had returned to her apartment to fully develop the plan and prepare for it and frankly, it was more convenient than sitting in a café. "From what I found out, they inaugurated a few new precautions for some reason. Like whoever enters or exists any area, even the archives and evidence storages, will be checked in case they're wearing a mask or other type of disguises. They literally pinch your cheeks to check. Another reason why I'll undertake the security room and gain access to the system, they obviously know my face. But that means you won't be able wearing a mask either."

Cassandra's brown eyes widened and she gulped. "And how do I get in there then?"

"By me adding you into the database as a new employee. I'll access the personnel department's files and create a fake staff account for you."

"But won't they find it weird if out of nowhere a new employee appears without them knowing?"

"The trick is to act as if you belong there," Arabella winked, "If there's any issue, just say you just started and probably someone simply forgot to inform them. Remain persistent."

"What if agent Kim, Blake or Jeon see me though? They know me."

"They won't," she dismissed her with a smirk, "We'll do it during the late shift, after the field agents leave and none of the normal personnel is working."

Cassandra and Soyeon nodded eagerly, listening intently. Arabella smiled for a brief moment before continuing.

"The second new security measure is having to enter a specific code that changes every few hours to enter the basement area where the cells are located. But it shouldn't be too big of a deal to find out once I've hacked the security system." A frown spreading over her features then as something else was seemingly troubling her. "The other new thing is that they aren't in the normal cellblock like usually while waiting for trial, but in the isolated high-risk ones. Those have a seperate security system located somewhere in the basement, meaning I can't exchange the live camera recordings from there. Sure, my distraction tactic will possibly blur quite a lot, but there's still a good chance someone might catch you on tape while I won't be able to see that footage and possibly warn you. So I'm asking you again if you're indeed sure about participating in this."

Her glance flickering to Soyeon, looking at her inquiringly.

"I am," she said with no sign of hesitation, causing Arabella and Cassandra to exchange a look, before nodding.

"Alright, let's do this."

»»»

Step one:

While Soyeon went for her anew interrogation, Arabella found her way inside by sneaking into an employee's car. In disguise, she engaged the man from the security control room in a flirty conversation, drugging him by sprinkling some rohypnol on his snack when he didn't pay attention. Taking control of the technical part and switching the live security footage with looping recordings, so no one would notice their little rescue mission, while also keeping an eye on the actual live footage, to warn the other two women if needed through their in-ear transmitters.

She also proceeded in creating two new employee accounts in the security system for Soyeon and Cassandra, the data matching to the two fake IDs she had already given them.

Step two:

Cassandra gor inside by pretending being an archive worker, having easier access to the evidence storage to get the guys' weapons this way. After a small encounter with an agent in the elevator, where she kept her cool, she headed to her designated area. Arabella told her the passcode and she passed the security check for disguises. Lying about having to check the evidence box of an old case that'd soon go to court to see if the content alligned with the list her 'supervisor' had given her. Finding the wanted objects in the weapon storage, she loaded the guns - having the needed knowledge from her husband who had insisted in teaching her how to use a gun just in case - and then hid them in a bag. Stuffing it into the vent Arabella instructed her to, pushing until it dropped down the vent into a lower level. After that was done, she retreated from the archive area and proceeded leaving the building from the staircase and emergency exit.

During these preparations, Soyeon was sitting in her interrogation, answering to all the agents' questions without leaking any suspicion.

Step three:

When the interrogation ended, Soyeon pretended leaving but actually went with Arabella's instructions to the storeroom in ground level where the vent ended. And after climbing up a shelf and opening it to get the bag out, she hid it into the cleaning trolly stored there. Changing into one of the cleaning uniforms hanging behind the door, she waited till the shift ended and most agents clocked out, before heading out with the trolly and the fake ID pinned on her chest. Entering the underground area using the security code Arabella told her and undergoing the check for any disguise herself.

The basement area was devided into two parts, to enter the second one where the guys were located at, Arabella initiated a small false alarm by starting the sprinklers, confusing the guards and getting them to go check for the cause. As soon as they left their positions, Soyeon took the bag and slipped through the gate to the second area. Immediately heading to the cellbocks the older girl had told her and quickly shoved their weapons through the barred door window. Returning to the first area and the abandoned trolly and Arabella ending the alarm.

Leaving the area by explaining she'd need to get extra help to clean up the wet floors while guards went to check on all the inmates.

Step four:

Soyeon left from the emergency exit. Arabella retreated then as well, as if nothing had happened and the two met in the parking lot where Cassandra waited for them in the car.

And the three set off.

»»»

next chapter: 1.3 here

Don't forget to like, reblog & leave feedback!♡

It motivates me to keep writing :)

[sleepy-shutin]

do you have any tips on communicating with alters? i get the vibe im really not alone in the brain area (there are. copious ammounts of other reasons but.) i'm not sure if i just got some srs dpdr or am like actually a system

this sounds like less of a "communicating with alters" problem and more of a "DID vs. other disorders" problem, or a "how to tell what is and isn't an alter" problem. if you're not sure whether or not you have alters, communicating with them or attempting to do so isn't going to help you figure out if you have alters or not, you're just going to get more confused. trust me, i've been down this exact same path before and it made things worse and more confusing. don't jump into trying to communicate with alters first before even knowing whether or not you have them.

also, obligatory warning that more people should be giving out: if you're still living in an abusive/traumatic environment, i personally really do not recommend self diagnosing with DID. from my personal experience and the personal experience of friends, this makes things worse, especially if you're under 18 or otherwise cannot legally leave. worry about surviving and getting out, THEN worry about the magnitude of trauma that you experienced and try to start getting it processed. trying to process trauma and deal with trauma and dissociation symptoms while still being traumatized actively is an awful experience.

if the second paragraph doesn't apply to you, ignore it. it's not for you.

this post from felis puts a lot of it into some pretty easy to understand language, the difference between cPTSD parts and fully autonomous dissociated parts, as seen in DID or OSDD-1.

another thing to note--i can't remember if this is mentioned in the linked post or not--but parts aren't always necessarily going to feel like entirely different people controlling your body. the vast majority of people who have autonomous dissociated parts have parts that are not the most distinct and may be separated out by feeling (i.e. "i feel like a serious woman with long hair") rather than suddenly knowing you have a specific name, age, gender, etc.

what you should do when trying to figure out if you actually have parts, is pattern tracking. journal a lot. if you can, try to think about how you feel throughout the day, (i.e. "do i feel like the serious woman with long hair or do i feel like the sad little boy or do i feel like the happy man with a baseball cap?"), to better track these patterns and see if they are brought up at specific times of day.

for example, i become tal when i'm at work. she is a teenage girl with dark hair, and she's very cheerful, and is pretty happy being masculine, even though she doesn't necessarily present that way when we draw her.

while i'm at home, i become zero, who is more serious and deadpanned and irritable, who is very obviously a male figure.

i can always tell the difference between these two specifically because of how starkly different we feel to each other. when i start feeling like a bubbly teenage girl, that's a pretty easy way for me to tell when i've switched. i can generally tell when i'm going to switch to tal because she comes forward in IRL social situations, and at work. i've used pattern tracking over the course of months to figure these patterns out.

that's only two parts out of my documented 30-something, and it took months to fully figure that out. you're probably going to have a similar amount of time figuring out your own shit. don't rush it. the best time to start is now, so be patient.

so basically, track how you feel identity-wise in differing situations, and track how connected or disconnected you feel to these differing identity feelings over time.

when you get home from work/school, does the person at work/school feel like you? do you feel confused by your actions at work/school? anxious about these actions? disgusted? do you feel like these actions you did at work/school are something that you would do now that you're not at work/school? these are some questions you can ask yourself.

remember, this only works if you're honest with yourself, and it is not a quick process.

i hope you get things figured out anon.

[viivdle]

it's been a long time coming..

Dancing With Our Hands Tied (Jurdan's Version) with @annamatix <3

part 1!!

"I, I loved you in secret" is one of the many lyrics you don't need to use metaphorically for them to fit. he *did* love her in secret, and he hid his feelings with every action he took.

"First sight, yeah, we love without reason" we get a description of what he noticed first when he saw jude, and he was (very obviously, might i add) star struck. he didn't have a reason to be attracted to her. if anything, it was the opposite. his whole life he was taught to hate mortals and find them repulsing, but something about her was different.

"Oh, how were you to know?" i think sometimes cardan regrets his actions. he would do it again just to have the same outcome - being with jude. but i think he regrets how long it took because it cost them valuable time together. even after his feelings were clear, he did things that prolonged the time until they got to openly confess their love.

"And my, my love had been frozen" with everything in his life growing up, nobody reciprocated the love he tried to give, so he locked his heart away the best he could. he tried to freeze it so it wouldn't get hurt, but people still found ways to shatter it.

"Deep blue, but you painted me golden" cardan had a horrible life, nobody needs reminders of it. it's in everything he says and does. she ultimately saved his life in more ways than one. this can also be taken literally. "but you painted me golden" fits the scene in which jude struck him and smeared gold over his face, but that's just a funny thing to add. another way to interpret it (i'm already getting unhinged with this) is that he was with nicasia before he was with jude. not only were they bad together, which painted him blue, but nicasia is the princess of the undersea, nicasia is the deep blue that was replaced with gold, jude.

"Oh, and you held me close. Oh, how was I to know?" it's no secret that jude can lie. and that she takes great advantage of that ability. even after everything, i think cardan still had doubts about her love for him because she *could* be lying. he's very self-destructive and thinks little to nothing of himself. "it is a shabby, worm-eaten, and scabrous thing" is only one of the many admissions to it, verbal or not. while he knows jude loves him, but can't be certain.

"I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets" screams cardan. he thought he was uncapable of being loved, and she proved him otherwise. he loves with all he has and all he can give, and when he got a taste of what it was like to be loved, he never wanted to let it go again. he would've spent forever with her hands in his pockets, and he would've been happy to do so.

"Picture of your face in an invisible locket" i love love LOVE this lyric, and cardan would too. as i said, he loves with all his might, and he proudly does so. he would 100% wear a locket with a picture of jude in it, nobody questions that. he would love it even more if the locket was invisible to show everyone who has his heart. in the standards elfhame sets, he shouldn't feel proud to love a mortal. he is anyway and after finding out how it feels to love her, he stops caring about it and he would scream it from the top of every building in the kingdom.

"You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it" need i remind everyone of when he was a serpent and knew nothing, not even himself (yes, i'm repeating myself again) but he knew jude? nothing in the world could stop his love for her, literally. and it most definitely something he'd admit to jude.

"I had a bad feeling" has so many meanings for me, looking at it and trying to connect it to cardan. literally, hate is a bad feeling - and he felt it for jude. a lot. cardan, despite his very inflated seeming ego, is extremely anxious when it comes to jude. not only is she the only family he has left, she's the only family he ever had. yes, he had his court. yes, he had a complex relationship with the people in it. yes, said relationship also included love. but no, it was never pure love. jude and cardan's story is anything but pure. it's tainted, bloody, cursed... but their love? it's the purest love in his life.

i know this is very, very long, and i doubt anyone's read it - but stay tuned for the rest of my version and anna's post on her account<33

[denniisa]

from the very first season,  we are shown that dennis cares a  lot  about his physical appearance.  a lot of fans argue that this is his vanity and narcissism,  but i truly think that it is in a eating disorder.  as someone with an eating disorder,  i see a lot of my food habits and behaviors in dennis words/actions.  at the very end of this you will find a list of multiple episodes with direct quotes from the show showing this behavior.  this meta is going to go under a read more because i will be talking in detail about eating disorder behavior, also it just got really long and kind of away from me. please keep this in mind when you read this !!

dennis often worries about his appearance,  asking for validation from others to tell him that he looks good or he is in shape.  there are also often times when dennis critiques someone else's physical appearance,  commenting about how fat they’ve gotten or how out of shape they are.  i think that this is him projecting his own insecurities onto others.

the show does go into great detail about dennis eating habits,  and i’m going to list a few of them here:

restricting his food intake

fasting for a day, or multiple days at a time

exercising multiple times a day

not eating gluten, sugar, or dairy

concerned about calorie contents in food

over eating during periods when he feels anxious

purging when he feels like he has eaten something toxic

drinking hard liquor instead of beer because it contains a lot of "empty calories"

becoming physically ill when he ingests something that has a higher calorie count than he is used to

dennis also worries a lot about his physical appearance. in the show he dyes his hair and puts on makeup to make sure that he is always looking his best. he is frequently worried about other peoples perception of him.

i do think that his eating disorder behavior partially comes from his need to be seen as desirable and attractive, but i do think some of it also comes from his desperate need for control over something. dennis is often controlling others and manipulating things behind the scenes, and ends up going into rage filled rants when things do not go as planned. he has specific systems for everything, and he hates when things feel out of control.

i think ultimately dennis really struggles with the idea of being good enough. i think he tries very hard to appear 'attractive' because he feels like that is what he needs to do. when he was younger, he was clearly his mothers favorite sibling. barbara has admitted that in the show and it is not just speculation. she put an insane amount of pressure on dennis from a very young age to be the very best he can be. i believe this is also part of the reason why dennis often manipulates his personality and puts on a different 'mask' depending on the situation.

i'm not sure exactly what eating disorder he has, i'm feeling like if he were every to get a diagnosis he would probably be diagnosed with something like ednos ( eating disorder not otherwise specified ). dennis shows symptoms of anorexia, bulimia, and orthorexia.

alright, now into the quotes to back up my claims about dennis' eating disorder. there are multiple instances in canon that dennis shows the symptoms of his eating disorder.  i have probably missed a few of these,  but under the cut you can find some quotes from various episodes that really stood out to me. i think these moments really show dennis' eating disorder and the symptoms of it.

the gang exploits a miracle,  s2e7: 

dennis: does my face look fat to you ?? dee: yeah dennis: no no don’t screw with me here seriously … it’s just the tv right ?? dee: no it’s been looking fat den: hey matty matthew mara (cricket): hey dennis how are you ?? dennis: i’ve been better,  i’ve been better.  let me ask you a question man. um … i know it’s been years since we’ve seen each other but does my face look fat to you ?? cricket: well we’ve all put on a few since high school dennis: of course, of course,  but i don’t look fat right ?? cricket: uhm no.  dennis,  a few moments later: check it out though,  why did you pause before you said no earlier? cricket: i’m sorry ?? dennis: well earlier when i asked you if my face looked fat you kind of paused  cricket: i’m … not sure.  dennis: hello ( gestures towards himself,  sucking in his cheeks ) dee: what is wrong with you ?? dennis: ugh well i’ve been fasting for three days so i probably look good. dee: you haven’t eaten anything for three days ?? dennis: and i feel great ( said slurred,  looks woozy ) frank: why the hell are you fasting dennis: well i thought i would get into the spirit of the religious aspect that we got going- dee: it’s ‘cus we said his face looks fat dennis: it is not i … p-people have been fasting for thousands of years- dee: face looks fat dennis: -for heath and religious purposes.  moses- dee: fat face dee then continues to talk over dennis while saying over and over again that he looks fat,  that his face is fat, ect.  frank: lets find some coffee sober him up dennis stares off into the distance for a few seconds, not responding frank: did you hear me ?? dennis: hm ?? frank: dennis … i think you really gotta eat.  dennis: no i just spaced out for a second … what’s up ?? dee: whoa,  you are not lookin' good, huh ?? dennis: truth,  truth. face fat ?? dee: no, you idiot.  your face is fine.  i just got mad that you called mine blotchy. dennis: oh.  why-why-why ... dee: what ?? dennis: why you do that ?? dee: oh, um, because you're a bad person. a few moments later dennis ends up passing passing out due to the fact that he hasn’t eaten in several days. 

the gang gets whacked pt 2,  s3e13

frank: you leave everything to me.  all you have to do is sit there,  relax,  have yourself a drink,  and just keep lookin’ handsome. dennis: okay i like that arrangement get me a beer frank!  frank: oh,  no beer.  too many calories.  it’s all about keeping this body fit.  i’ll get ya a nice vodka tonic.  dennis: well that doesn’t have much calories so i think that’s a smart drink.

sweet dee has a heart attack,  s3e10

dennis and dee are at the gym,  discussing what type of physique they want to achieve by working out dennis: i don’t wanna get too bulky.  i wanna stay nice and lean and tight.  i want that jesus on the cross look. dee: i see what you’re saying. dennis: jesus had the right idea,  no pain no gain.

the nightman cometh,  s4e13

charlie: dennis, what are you doing ?? dennis,  eating baby sized snickers bars: i'm eating because I'm very uncomfortable.

mac and dennis break up,  s5e9

now i’m not exactly sure if this counts as  disordered eating  but it very well could be,  either disordered talk/beliefs.  i can see this being more related to dennis’ autism and desiere for structure,  but i do think it is related to dennis needing some control over his food. dennis: oh do me a favor.  peel this apple for me please ??  dee: no !!  no,  i’m not going to peel an apple for you. dennis: but mac always does it for me. dee: why does mac peel your apples for you ??  dennis: he doesn’t like for me to eat the apples with the skin on it.  he says the skins are loaded with toxins they argue for a bit more,  and then dennis shouts about how he is not “allowed” to eat apples with the skin on them.

the gang gets a new member,  s6e8

dennis orders salads for himself,  mac,  schmitty,  and frank for lunch.  when schmitty comments that he would prefer linguini,  dennis says  “linguini is too heavy for lunch”.  

frank’s pretty woman,  s7e1

mac: this is getting ridiculous dude.  we’re getting older we’re not going to look older. dennis: no i am going to look twenty forever,  mac.  because the older i get the more vigilant i become.  alright,  i don’t eat lunch anymore for instance.  yeah !!  and on odd days i don’t eat breakfast. mac: that sounds miserable. dennis: no dude,  it’s not miserable.  well,  yeah it is a little bit.  but it has to be man !!  no pain no gain !!  i am also constantly in motion.  like right now ??  dude,  i am doing leg lifts that are imperceptable to the human eye.  call ‘em hummingbirds.  and although i seem relaxed,  i’m actually incredibly tense at all times.  a few moments later a doctor goes over mac and dennis’ medical test results doctor: well i see severe dehydration here,  multiple vitamin deficiencies,  anemia,  low blood pressure. dennis: mac,  i don’t want you to fret okay i’m gonna get you on my exercise program,  i’m gonna get you fit as a fiddle. doctor: no these … these are your results mister reynolds.  a few moments later,  dennis almost passes out and says he hasn’t eaten anything all day.

the high school reunion pt. 2: the gangs revenge,  s7e13 

dennis: yeah i’m wearing a little bit of makeup,  who doesn’t- tim murphy’s wife: and a girdle  dennis: yeah i wanted to seem thin for the occasion,  that’s not weird.

mac day,  s9e5

dennis,  while eating chips:  carbs wise this is gonna set me back but i don’t even give a shit.

dennis takes a mental health day, s16e8

dennis is trying to order a tea for himself but the employee at the boba tea shop informs him that he cannot order tea without boba. dennis: you know, so, I'll take the tea without the covert diabetes delivery mechanism, please.

[spectrumlife99]

A more personal story about a big struggle of mine...food.

I've talked a little bit about how I hate food before on this blog...but now I think it's time to go in-depth about it...even though I usually HATE talking about it, and I'm really nervous and anxious about making this post, but I'll do my best.

Ever since I was little (like, two years old when I was taken off the baby bottle and had to move to solid foods, which, actually, I have NEVER drank milk since the baby bottle was taken away because it was nasty and I no longer needed it to survive...and I STILL to this day hate milk and find it gross), I have had MAJOR sensory issues with food, causing me to be extremely picky and particular about what I eat. I have issues with the look, smell, taste, texture, etc. I also hate things on my plate touching each other, and as a kid I had to have everything on separate plates/bowls because I wouldn't eat if anything on the plate touched each other. I still hate that to this day though, with a lot of work, I have been able to move past the "everything on separate plates/bowls" thing. I do still try my absolute best to keep everything a good distance from each other though.

I am also very particular about even the same types of food. For example, I only eat certain specific brands of certain specific things, and if the brand is wrong, even if the food itself is the same, I will always notice just by smell alone, and refuse to eat it. If the brand is not the safe brand, I will not eat it. If we don't have a safe food or the right brand of safe food, I will choose to go hungry rather than eat, because it's just too much for me to eat a non-safe food/brand. My diet is extremely limited...I would say that 99% of all foods in this world are way too overwhelming for me, and I know for a fact that I can count the number of foods I will actually eat on my fingers...and everything on that list is bland, except for a couple VERY SPECIFIC flavors of VERY SPECIFIC kinds of candy. It has to be bland because I can't handle anything that's spicy (even if it's only a tiny kick or a pinch of seasoning, it will still feel like my mouth is burning and my stomach will start feeling bad), I can't handle bitter things (bitter things will immediately trigger the gag reflex), and I can't handle sour things (sour things, aside from being overwhelming in taste, make my mouth really irritated and that really hurts), or things that are too sweet (I can handle mild sweetness but if it's anything even the slightest bit over mildly sweet, I can't handle it, it triggers the gag reflex). If I could survive without eating, I would never ever eat a thing because I hate food and eating so much. I usually only eat one meal a day, that being supper, because my family always makes sure to have safe food for me in the house for supper specifically. And if we have takeout or go to a restaurant, we always make sure that the restaurant has one of my safe foods beforehand, otherwise I won't eat.

I have gone multiple days in a row without eating anything, because there was nothing safe around. This was back when I was in my early teens in the psych hospital. I was there because I needed a medication adjustment, they had to take me off everything and put me back on everything again slowly, as well as change some of the meds because I was struggling with severe anger issues and aggression, there wasn't a day that went by without me exploding on someone and physically hurting them or myself back then...so I was in the psych hospital for about a week and a half. The teen ward was like a dorm at a university or something, there was a common area, and two long corridors of rooms, with the girls on one and boys on the other. Now, the food situation there was...less than ideal... especially for someone like me. We had a choice of what we wanted to eat, but to actually GET to choose, we had to wake up at the designated wake-up call time...which was always really hard for me since I am not a morning person and I also had nightmares that woke me up and made me really anxious and panicky basically every night. So, as you can probably guess, I always missed the menu choices, meaning I always ended up with something random. That was not good, because it was almost always something that wasn't a safe food. The worst part of it was, there were multiple days in a row of this, and by the fourth day in a row of me not eating, one of the nurses did the worst thing possible for a person with severe food sensitivities...the nurse force-fed me...and continued to do so everyday after that. It was like torture, and every time after being force-fed by the nurse, I would go right back to my room, head right to the bathroom, and proceed to get rid of it by gagging myself on purpose to make myself throw up. The food sitting in my stomach made me nauseous as it was already so I just had to get it out of there so I could feel better. I never told anyone about it though because during my entire week and a half there it was so traumatic I was basically rendered mute, barely saying a word to anyone. I know that they were just worried about me and wanted to make sure I survived while I was there, but they definitely could've done it less...aggressively...

This wasn't the first time I was force-fed either. As a kid, with my OT, I did a type of feeding therapy called Feeding Team. It was supposed to help me learn to try new foods...but it didn't work. Now, the person who force-fed me there wasn't my usual therapist. My usual therapist never did that, she just sat there with me and reminded me that if I didn't eat the food of the week, I wouldn't be allowed to do all the other stuff...the stuff I liked doing in OT. Multiple weeks just consisted of me just sitting there the whole time because I just wouldn't...COULDN'T eat. But my usual therapist never threatened to force-feed me or anything like that. So how was I force-fed there, then...? Well...it was when my usual therapist wasn't there, and I had a substitute...a couple substitutes weren't the most patient and after it became clear I wasn't going to eat, they would pick up the fork or spoon, gather some of the food on it, and shove it into my mouth. I would immediately go running to the bathroom after that and proceed to, once again, get rid of it all so I didn't feel sick anymore with the food sitting in my stomach like that.

No one, absolutely NO ONE in my family knows that I've been force-fed before. They also don't know about me purposely getting rid of the food I was force-fed every time. I have only told my talk therapist and a best friend of mine who understands what having food sensitivities like this is like...and only brought it up in the first place because I've been thinking about this for a while and having nightmares about the force-feeding where I wake up feeling sick and like I need to get rid of the food I was force-fed in my dream...so it's been really bothering me a lot lately. And I'm one of those people who HATES anything to do with throwing up. If someone around me is sick with a stomach bug or flu and I hear or see it...I freak out and have full-on panic attacks over it, and when I have the stomach bug or flu myself, I try to keep everything from coming out as long as I possibly can.

And food unfortunately is something that can make me really sick and trigger the gag reflex from just the look and smell alone...which is why I always stay away from the kitchen when my family is eating their meals, and waiting until everything they had is all cleaned up and put away before I can finally have my own safe food for supper...I do this pretty much everyday, as it's very VERY rare for my family to have something I can eat alongside them for supper. The only thing that really comes to my mind that I eat with them is pasta...my mom makes it plain and makes the sauce separately because she's allergic to tomatoes and I don't like sauce. I completely cover my plain pasta in the (what I like to call) "cheese salt" type of parmesan cheese because that way it tastes better and it's not greasy. One of my younger brothers (who also has some food sensitivities, but he's not nearly as problematic in my parents' eyes as I am because he eats a lot more things than I do) does the same thing, and we often fight over the parmesan cheese because of it.

I used to have to sit at the table with everyone during holiday meals, which felt like torture, but now I don't have to do that anymore because I just can't do that without feeling sick and losing my appetite at the sight and smell of all holiday food. The only thing I eat on holidays is plain rolls...which is just bread. Everything else is way too much for me. So I wait for everyone to finish and clean up, and then I have a safe food, just like basically every other day.

On Easter yesterday I didn't even eat supper at all because I just wasn't hungry. I have a hard time noticing when I'm hungry or not, so that plays another part in me not wanting to eat, because I don't feel like I need to. I've been put on an appetite stimulator medication because my one meal a day is not enough for my family and support workers and it makes them worry...even though I'm totally fine with one a day but that's just me. It worked for a while, it didn't change anything I actually ATE but it made me feel hunger a bit more...though now it's stopped working and I'm back to one meal a day. I get really tired of my family constantly judging me for being picky, berating me for never eating anything, telling me I'm being difficult, and saying things like, "There are people starving out there, you should be grateful for what you have and eat!" When they say those things, it does not help at all! It instead just makes me really upset because I literally CANNOT HELP IT! I didn't ASK for this, I didn't ASK to have so many food sensitivities...and it drives ME just as crazy as it drives THEM! I wish I could eat more things so they wouldn't get so mad at me all the time but I just CAN'T!

You know how people will expect you to just toughen up and eat what's in front of you...? Yeah...no...that doesn't work for me. If there's nothing I can eat, nothing that's safe, I will not eat a THING until I have a safe food in front of me again, even if it takes multiple days...the longest I've gone without eating was four days. I am so glad my parents don't force-feed me though, like the nurses at the psych hospital or the substitute OT person did...because that means I haven't had to intentionally make myself sick to get rid of the things I was force-fed in about a decade now. I am so afraid to tell my family about those incidents because they have never heard anything about it from anyone at all and I always keep traumatic memories and things that happened to me to myself for years at a time, until I can't take it anymore and I just break from the stress, but I am working on it now with my talk therapist, so I hope I'll be able to say something eventually.

Anyway, I guess what I want to say is, anyone else who's autistic and struggles with food sensitivities, I see you and I feel you. You are not alone. I used to think I was alone in this until I met my best friend who struggles with this stuff too. It was so validating for me to finally have someone who understands what this is like, and I hope my story can help some of you feel not so alone either.

[furiousgoldfish]

(28yo anon) thank you for being so understanding. i did freak out a little bit, yeah, sorry about that. i'm always a bit hesitant about complaining or painting him in any negative light, because he does so much for me... he took care of me (i could have been orphaned), he takes care of our place, he cooks, he helps me with difficult situations (like paperwork etc). i essentially live a very sheltered life, my only 'job' is to... do my job, and bring the money in, to be honest. he is the only person i have. and yes, i do think i would still help him, even if i were allowed to socialize and all. he plans on buying the apartment together and it's a good plan, really... so it's not too bad, there is some possibly positive future for me. i'm just a bit nervous about taking a loan out (i'm anxious about debt in general), and about the fact that he will one day die, leaving me in this too-big-for-one-person flat. i would feel very bad about moving out on my own, anyway, i don't want to abandon him...

as you've said, i feel a bit better after just sharing this with anyone, really. apologies for another long-ish message, i wanted to (again) explain my outburst. you were very kind and your reply didn't make me feel worse, i was just unsure about it, that's all. thank you again.

I have to admit that what you describe as your relationship with your father is almost ... well, it's not as much as parent-child, but as partners or spouses even, again I'm talking off of very little detail here, but please look up 'parentification' and see if any of that applies to you. Sometimes parents will depend on you and develop relationships with you as if you're their partner, and not their kid, and if you're in his control and responsible for bringing money in, and you have no say in the matter, that firstly is unhealthy, and second, not very parent-child like.

While it's normal and common for kids to want to help financially struggling parents when they can chip in and make life better, that would and should, always be, on completely voluntary basis, never enforced, pressured, or demanded. Normal parents wouldn't want that.

It's also not healthy to have your father as the only person in your life, and it feels like this wouldn't be so if you had the chance to go out more, socialize, make friends, meet a partner possibly. It sounds like he doesn't want that, and it might mess with your wanting to take a loan out for him - since he's your only person, and you cannot bear lose your only person (none of us can really, when someone has us in their mercy we will do anything for them), you will do anything he asks, even if you're unsure, nervous, seeing negative consequences for yourself.

I think it's pretty normal to have your parent cook for you, want to help you with paperwork, support you financially, without asking you to give up your socializing, your free time, your freedom and friends and social life and possibly relationships. Again I might be completely wrong and if I am, don't worry, these are just theories, they have absolutely no consequences on your real life, whatever I say if it doesn't feel right, you can completely ignore it and trust your senses, after all, you know your situation better than me, and better than anyone. Your word is the last one, always.

But to an outside eye, it seems like your father is interested in keeping you isolated so he could have you as a replacement of a partner or any other kind of support or financial safety he would otherwise have to seek out himself. It sounds like he has issues with not wanting to even risk you having any kind of freedom, because he would have less of a grip and control over you, and that isn't normal, or healthy, and it breaches your human rights. I don't think he should be doing that, and even if it made him uncomfortable to see you be free, you still have the right to freedom. And for him, it would be healthy to seek out company his own age, and to not depend on you completely finance-wise.

It's also not very parent-like to want to put your child in a situation where they might end up in a home that is too big or unaffordable, or having them take out loans they're not comfortable with. It sounds like he's doing a lot to arrange this situation just so you cannot get away from him, have to depend on him, and are stuck with him, until the last day of his life. And that, is unreasonable and selfish.

I feel like I'm running conspiracy theories on your father, I hope you are not offended. I understand he is someone important to you, who you love and depend on, and I do not mean to go against that. Sometimes scrutinizing someone's actions and intentions can seem brutal, but you are in a very brutal situation here, so I'm doing it in such a way as well. Also sorry I freaked you out, again, we're just talking about this, none of this will have any consequences, I could be 100% wrong about everything here, and only you can judge.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Happy Saturday~ One more or less serious reply + a bunch of silly ones today.

Anonymous asked:

I absolutely love the way you draw everyone in twisted wonderland. I know some out there don’t agree who you ship, but I think otherwise. The way you draw the characters is always amazingly done and I can tell how much you worked on them.

You are an amazing artist so if anyone disagrees then just remember you have some fans out there including me!

Thank you for your support and love, Anon! I always talk about how we didn’t expect anyone at all to enjoy our content, our ships and our thoughts about them, and honestly it still feels bizarre. It’s been a bit more than a year now, and thinking about how anxious we were about posting some of this stuff before is really weird now. So I really can’t stress it enough: hearing your words of support really means a lot. These characters and ships are really dear to us, and as long as we feel passionate about them, we’ll keep posting them <3 I’m very glad you can see our passion for the characters in our drawings! So thank you so much for enjoying the way we see them.

Even though, once again, we don’t expect everyone to like everything that we post. But when people do, it’s very cool.

Anonymous asked:

Idia wouldn’t build a sex machine? Please. He already did; his name is Ortho.

OHHHHHHHHHHH 😭 good point, good point.

The most intense and dangerous sex machine that’s constantly learning new things, what an impressive invention. Shame on you, Idia.

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

What is your hot take of Lilia and Azul mainly becoming friends to swap tips and talk about their boys' (Malleus and Idia) noises and expressions? Like do you think one would be curious and ask for video evidence or maybe the pair would bang in the same room

On the one hand, I feel like Lilia doesn’t treat Azul seriously enough to consider this (i.e. Azul is way too desperate), plus I’m not sure if Lilia and Malleus’ affair is a secret or not. But on the other hand, Lilia loves talking about his boys way too much, so I can see how Azul could get him talking. You just ask correct questions, and at some point Lilia just starts going “oh yeah that one time Malleus really did this thing…” and spilling way too much information to Azul, possibly the worst person to have this conversation with lol And Lilia would also be very interested in Azul’s stories about Idia, mainly because Idia intrigues him.

I can’t believe this actually could work wow.

But would they bang in the same room? Honestly, Lilia and Azul both are kind of unhinged, so if the starts alignm it could happen. It would be such an amazing networking event for Azul lol but at the same time, Azul and Idia both are way too shy to do something like this~

Anonymous asked:

So like I MOSTLY ship Lilia/Idia for the age gap and dichotomy of it all. A charismatic old man who looks like he's a short, cute kid with a tall scrawny emotional wreck of a teenager is just SO inherently fun all on it's own. It's a blast. But also, I have been thinking about this more seriously lately because my faaavorite thing about sleeping beauty that's almost never carried over to remakes is the dramatic irony with aurora and philip's relationship

A princess who doesn't know she's a princess falls in love with a prince who she doesn't know she's engaged to, but she finds out she's engaged and doesn't even know that she's engaged to him. There's a lot you can do to play around with that in a story, where the audience knows this but the characters don't. It's super fun!!! When all the pieces come together in the end, it's really satisfying too!!!!

I'm always disappointed when remakes cut out the dramatic irony of it all, so in twst, despite nothing like that happening with silver outside of the princess part lol I can see a lot of similarities with Lilia and Idia being online friends who don't know that they actually know each other irl, and I won't spoil it here, but some events that have gone down in book 7 make me really excited to see if there will be more references to aurora and philip's relationship between them. I'm suuuuch a big fan of it I'm PUMPED!!!!!!!!!

First of all! I absolutely agree about what you said about Lilia/Idia’s visual and characteristic contrast (well this isn’t surprising to hear lol): they’re just stupidly fun to look at and watch. The age gap also adds a lot to their dynamic.

Second of all, yeah THE COMPARISON REALLY MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. The fact that Lilia and Idia are so close already without even realising makes this ship so amazingly interesting and sweet and funny and cute and hot and dramatic at the same time!! And while I don’t know what exactly you’re referring to (you already know, we haven’t watched book7 yet), but we’ve been thinking about the main story giving Lilidia a painfully tasty moment for a long time now. Yana Toboso looooves her setups and long games with satisfying payoffs, and she’s definitely been preparing something for these two.

Fun fact: Aurora has been my absolute favourite Disney Princess, and even though we’re yet to rewatch the Sleeping Beauty, your ask really got me excited about it. And about book 7 too..! I’m really looking forward to it.

[hayatoseyepatch]

Hello darling~! Here's my second attempt at this ask. Congrats on your milestone, I'm so proud of you! I'm curious to see who I get matched with.

About Me: To start with, my pronouns are she/her and I am definitely an extrovert! I get anxious at times when in unfamiliar circumstances and I am definitely prone to overstimulation but I love being out and about with friends.

My personality is the older sister type. I worry and fret over others and I like taking care of people but I can hold my ground. I have little tolerance for disrespect and I'm firm in my boundaries. That being said, I'm otherwise fairly open-minded and easygoing. I definitely love laughing and joking with others.

I am very independent but I don't mind being taken care of or spoiled from time to time. I like to think I'm a capable, reliable person and I try to remind others to stick up for themselves and not to settle for mistreatment. There's no harm in a little selfishness, after all!

My hobbies are cooking, writing, reading, traveling, and tabletop games! I love D&D and other collaborative storytelling games a lot and getting into character is so so fun. I also love watching video essays on a wide range of topics from games to politics to obscure fandom drama. I'll watch anything if the speaker is engaging enough.

Fandom: Wind Breaker please!!

Tropes: I am a sucker for arranged marriages, mutual pining, fake dating, and friends-to-lovers. I also love a good revenge story like Marry My Husband or those ten billion "reborn as a villainess" webtoons. My favorite stories, though, are two people who are trying their best to understand and support one another and get closer thanks to a shared goal. I like "rivals to lovers" but I'm not actually a huge fan of "enemies to lovers" since it's rarely done well enough for my liking.

My Type: I need devotion and loyalty. Someone who will walk through hell for their beloved, even if their loved one would never ask that of them. My other favorite character archetypes are usually Kuuderes, people who seem emotionless on the outside but warm and kind below the surface. I also like the clever types who rely on their intelligence more than their strength. Schemers and trickster types are great fun, though I don't think I'd enjoy dating one because they're often so troublesome.

I also like characters who have their own hobbies and interests. They need to have passions outside of their romantic interest and if they have a big friend group? Even better!

Favorite Characters: My top five in Wind Breaker are Choji, Kiryu, Suo, Sako, and Endo. Though I genuinely love all the characters, even the minor ones.

Icks: I don't think I'd want to be paired up with Suo because I think he'd tease me too much. Choji and Endo also seem a bit too clingy for my liking and more than a little childish on Choji's part.

I don't want to be paired with Umemiya, if possible. He's very sweet but a bit...much for me.

I don't like overly controlling characters either. I really value my individuality and independence. Anyone who would want to limit me in any way by restricting me from seeing certain friends, wearing certain clothes, or would otherwise try to change me are a massive red flag. I want devotion, not obsession.

I think that's everything so good luck!! I'm really curious to who you end up pairing me with~!

OKAY IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE MY BELOVED FOXX. The second you said you appreciated the minor manga characters I knew I wanted this pairing. But after the convo we had this morning, I’m even more excited because maybe you’ll see and appreciate the vision.

I’m going to be matching you with Shuhei Suzuri!!

⤜♡→ You both have adopted the older sibling role and I feel like there's such a mutual understanding and love from having that in common. There is the common denominator of wanting to care for each other while also being cared for in return. Always being the one those go to for guidance and assistance, it is nice to surrender that when you are both together. Being able to care and love for one another while receiving it in return.

⤜♡→ For as much as he was the former leader of Gravel he does have his moments now where he will be a bit more withdrawn with others, the insecurity of his situation and his past creeping up on him. I feel like your extroversion and tenderness is a gods sent in those moments. Taking the reins and he just simply cant help but to fall even more in love with you.

⤜♡→ He finds your strength beautiful. The way you stand for what you believe in had him swooning every single time. Your unwavering heart is what he truly fell in love with and he was truly hopeless to even try and stop it.

⤜♡→ Suzuri wasn’t afforded the opportunity to enjoy many simple things due to his upbringing. He loves letting you expand his world. I feel like he very much enjoys dnd, the creative storytelling and creativity that goes into it is something he enjoys. Having to use his imagination more than anything as kid. He is hooked onto every word from the dm looking at you with bright excited eyes as you carry out your campaign.

I just have this idea of you both working in the same restaurant. Maybe because of that one bakery au you did with SakoTia that I adore so much. The others at the restaurant where you both were had side-eyed him a bit, it was hard not to look at him a particular way after the events of the fight that night. He understood he was used to being treated differently He was here to work and build a better life for himself. However, sometimes it was hard to ignore the looks directed at him, the words said in hushed tones as he walked by. Though each time he felt himself beginning to spiral, there you were, with your beautiful laughter and gentle smile that colored his cheeks and made his heart race. He was hopeless from the moment he had first laid his eyes on you. You never treated him differently, never gave him a sideways glance or an untrusting look. He began to assume that you hadn’t heard the events that led up to getting this job.

You both were in the kitchen one night, it was slow so some of the staff was cut, leaving you both in your own quiet corner. He always loved nights like this, where he could just spend uninterrupted time with you, listening as you spoke to him about the most recent video essay you had watched. However, tonight was different. He was more withdrawn, you could practically hear the scrambled thoughts running through his mind. Before you could ask what was wrong he turned to you abruptly. He may be panicking, the fear of losing you creeping up in his chest, but he didn’t want to lie any longer he needed you to know the circumstances that led to him working here, and then if you chose to treat him like the others he would understand. But he couldn't continue to fall in love with you without you knowing the truth. “Listen, I need to tell you something.” He took a deep breath when you encouraged him to continue. “You should know I only have this job because-“ His words were suddenly cut off, your gentle fingertips resting over his lips. “I know.”

Surprise dances across his expression, his words muffled against your fingers. “You do?” He watches in shock as you giggle, nodding your head. His brows furrowed. “And you don’t think any different of me? Don think I'm a powder keg ready to explode?” He moves his hands as he speaks as if to emphasize his words. All he was greeted with was another bout of laughter from you as you shook your head. “But why?” He questions, genuinely curious, so used to being judged for his past. He watches you shrug, continuing your work of prepping ingredients as you spoke. “I didn’t know you then, but I know your character. I’m sure you had your reasons. Kanji wouldn’t have stuck his neck out for no reason and I trust his judgment, I know the you now and that’s all that matters isn’t it?” You look at him finally, that beautiful smile adorning your features once more. “Plus if you try anything, I’ll kick your ass.” You giggle before turning back to your work. His heart felt like it was attempting to escape his chest with how fast it was racing. As he returned to his own work there was a smile on his face. If he was hopeless before, he was absolutely despondent now. He was free falling and he only wanted you to catch him. Okay so I may have gotten just a wee bit carried away but this sweet boy (and you) just deserve all the love in the world and I had so much fun with this.

[eveandtheturtles]

Through Fire and Smoke part 2

Ship: Bayverse!Leo X Named!Reader

Summary: Leo and you are going on a date. You find out more about him. More than you expected. Happens during chapters 8-10 of Started with a Kiss (my Donnie x OC fic).

A/N: Hope y'all excited for more Amelia and Leo lol. Everyone here is in an adult unless stated otherwise. First part is in my masterlist! Reader is a Firefighter. I didn't expect this chapter to be split into two but it did lol. The next part, should be the final part probably. There might be more. Here's some tags!

@madammuffins @m1dnyt3-w0lf @turtle-babe83 @thelaundrybitch @leosgirl82 @pheradream-15 @tinkabelle19 @scholastic-dragon @dilucsflame33 @sharpwindow

(if anyone wants to be removed lemme know)

After the little rescue you did for Leo you two kept in touch, especially since you set up a date. The text conversations you had with him were the highlight of your day. You found out he was a little bit of a geek from the way he talked about shows and even admitted to have a small collection of posters and action figures he shared with his younger brother, Donnie. He was charming but you loved teasing him the most. He had the best reaction to that. The no-nonsense exterior would crack a little revealing a more relaxed, pun-loving Leo. You enjoyed that guy

You didn't know what you expected from your date with the mysterious mutant turtle. Which meant some wild guessing on how to dress for it. Maybe something like Lady and the Tramp style? You imagined a date in back alley with two Chinese chefs serenading you over orange chicken. Ridiculous.

Then maybe a day before the date he revealed something you needed a moment to process.

[Smoked Turtle: Hey so I figured there's something I should have told you sooner]

You read the message and a sliver of anxiety creeped up at you. You quickly pushed it back and wrote back

[You're secretly a 6 foot tall turtle living in a sewer?]

[Smoked Turtle: -snort- very funny.]

[I'm here all week]

[Smoked Turtle: but seriously, you should know this before we go on a date]

[Fire away, sir.]

He started typing. The three dots blinked on your screen for a minute, two. Then they stopped. Then appeared again. Finally, he sent the message.

[Smoked Turtle: Im poly.]

The three dots were still on your screen.

[Smoked Turtle: I have a bf his name is Jake]

Ah. Well, you didn't exactly expect that. You thought he might tell you he's alien prince or dying or that he was raising a clutch of baby mutant turtles (was that even the correct term? You needed to google that).

[Well, thank you for telling me this. I'm guessing he knows about you planning on going on a date with me?]

[Smoked Turtle: Yeah. I told him about you and he didn't object. He knows I'm poly too and we had discussion about it and all.]

[Smoked Turtle: You can back out if this is uncomfortable for you.]

You thought for a moment. One of your coworkers were poly. You recalled her gushing about her partners but also complain about the issues she had. You weighted your own feelings.

[Thank you for telling me this.]

You paused because, wow that did put you in a spin.

[So, we're still up for 8pm tomorrow?]

[Smoked turtle: Yes. Do you have any questions?]

[Well, we're not serious yet, I'll just process through it and I'll shoot them your way when I have them. One girl at the station is also poly. So it's not as strange for me as you'd think.]

You couldn't tell over the text if he relaxed more or was still anxious so you switched the conversation to something lighter.

The next day you were bouncing a little checking the clock. Right on time, maybe even a few minutes early, Leo knocked on your window.

"Hi," you greeted him as he waited for you on the fire escapes.

"Hey." Leo smiled at you. "You look nice."

"Thanks!" You replied happily.

It was definitely a change of outfit for you. Nothing fancy, since you knew you were going to just grab Chinese but. And it was getting cold outside. So you picked your nicest sweater jacket and a long, light brown coat, jeans and pair of cute boots. To make it even nicer you added your favourite hoop earrings you normally couldn't wear.

"So how are we getting to the place, because I doubt we can take a walk or taxi?" You asked him, climbing through your window to him.

"You're right, we can't," he agreed. "You will experience the what we call Turtle Express." He offered you his hand and you took it looking at him curiously.

"Hope you're not too attached to your hairstyle," he added suddenly tightening the grip on your hand and pulling you against his chest.

"What?" Was all you managed to say before he jumped up.

Now you knew why it was called 'Turtle Express'. Leo was moving at what you perceived as almost the speed of light. You noticed you were yelling about halfway to your destination. You looked up at his face and there was just pure glee on it. Motherfucker. It looked good on him.

Finally, with a final jump down and a bit of a backflip (which you suspected he did totally on purpose) you two landed in front of a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown. Leo set you down gently to the ground, holding you until your legs stopped shaking.

"You're kind of an ass, you know that?" You said and he grinned.

"Sorry, couldn't help it."

You shook your head amused. You also looked around. "Uh, Leo? Aren't you worried-"

"Hi Mrs. Chang!" Leo called to an elderly woman selling old books, magazines and CDs at the store next to the restaurant.

"Leonardo!" She called back. "Come, come," she waved her thing hand at him. "You can help!"

"Is Kevin not around?" He asked concerned.

"His mother's sick. Good boy went to help her," she informed him. "Said he will be here alter but you're here! You will help this poor old woman."

Leo nodded along. "Sorry, this will take a second," he said.

"I'll help too," you said, curious about this whole situation. You followed behind him.

Mrs. Chang looked at you, her sharp eyes eyeing you from head to toes. "Who's this?" She grinned at Leo. He quickly grabbed crates from the front and started carrying them inside. Clearly, done it before.

"I'm Amelia, nice to meet you, ma'am." You introduced yourself. You followed behind Leo.

Between you two closing up the store went super quickly. You also got front seat to witness the strength of the turtle, when he would easily grab four or five crates like they weighted nothing. Show-off. It was still a nice show.

"Tell your father, he is going to lose mahjong this week!" Mrs Chang told Leo as they were finishing up. "I feel good fortune in my bones."

Leo snorted. "I will Mrs Chang."

The old woman pulled him down a little.

"I like this girl! She's nicer than that boy," she said that you were sure was supposed to be a whisper but came more of a stage whisper.

"Okay, Mrs Chang. I'll text Kevin he doesn't need to come to help you." He smiled and straightened up.

"Good bye Mrs Chang!" You called and the two of you headed for the restaurant. "So what's that all about?"

"Ah... well... I'll tell you once we're inside." He opened the door for you, leading you inside.

The air was heavy with the smells from the kitchen and the steam from the cooking dishes. It smelled deliscious. There were some guests in it and it seemed all of them knew Leo. And his father apparently.

You both sat down at a free table and soon a waitress joined you.

"Hey Leo, what can I get for you two?" She asked.

"Hi Mei. For start I'll take a beer." He looked at you to see your choice.

You looked at the menu. It was a big laminated page. And it was all in Chinese. "Uh."

Leo chuckled and fliped it over. There. English. "Oh thanks," you briefly scanned what they had. "Yeah beer is good for start," you smiled.

"Okay, I'll be right back." The girl left you to decide on food.

"So~" you slowly started, "not that I mind and all but how come you can be out in the open here?"

"Oh, uh, well," Leo chuckled awkwardly, "there was a lot of trouble here happening. So we would drop by often to deal with it and people started talking among each other. One day we got a call from one of the shopkeepers we saved before. We rushed in ready to do our thing but then... turns out everyone got together to throw a party in hour honor." He looked over in the direction of the kitchen with a fond look. "They told us we don't have to hide here. So we drop by every now and then. My dad comes here to play Mahjong."

You nodded, feeling warmed up inside. It gave you faith in humanity that people would accept Leo and his family.

Mei returned briefly to bring you drinks and take your food order. The conversation started flowing. Leo asked you about your work at the Firestation and you had couple laughs from the stories about your coworkers but also the calls you had. You watched him being excited about the new comic books he got into. It was so cute and charming to see his face lit up and some of the weight you saw him carry just fall off.

Plus the food was deliscious. There were no musicians but you had a bit of a Lady & the Trump moment when you wanted to try his food and he placed some of his potion on your plate without a hesitation.

There were people coming in the restaurant, most of them were greeting Leo and he was waving back. Some would approach your table and chat with him. He introduced you to everyone who approached and engaged you into the conversation.

You were having fun. More than you had in a long time. Finally, it was getting dark and it was time to get you home. Your eyebrows raised when he offered to pay for everything.

Leo cleared his throat. "You know how we from time to time cooperate with organized crime, yeah? It pays enough to take a pretty girl on a date some time," he explained, once the two of you left the restaurant.

"I didn't know there was a third person here," you teased. You smirked and looked around as if looking for that 'pretty girl'. He snorted and shook his head.

You two started walking slowly.

"You're uhm," he shifted on his feet awkwardly. "You're more than pretty. You're beautiful."

You felt your cheeks flushed. "Thank you, you're not too bad yourself," you said and bit your bottom lip, feeling shy all of a sudden. The way Leo looked at you then looked away with a small smile, told you you managed to fluster him a little too.

"SO!" You exclaimed to chase that away. "When are we going to do this again?"

Leo did a double take at you. "You want to-?" His eyes were so large. He barely believed you said that.

"Yes, very much so," you reassured him. "You can text me later, we'll arange something." You bumped into his shoulder. Then you slipped your hand into his and making him go speechless. "Any other fun activities for today?"

"I- w- huh, uhm, yes!" Briefly he had a trouble finding his tongue but eventually he got there, grinning widely.

Next you knew, you were scooped up from the ground. Maybe one day you were going to get used to the turtle express.

A few hours later you were back at your place. You were a little tipsy but also giddy from the date.

"Thank you Leo," you told him, sitting on the window sill. "I had a lot of time today."

"Yeah, me too." He was leaning a bit inside, holding the window panel up. "Thanks for giving me a chance."

"You're ridiculous, why wouldn't I?" You said and maybe on impulse you leaned closer and kissed him. His lips had fascinating texture. Strange, alien but familiar enough you wanted more. He leaned into you. His hand wrapped around your waist and your arms wrapped around his neck. You nudged his lips with your tongue and he let you in. The weight of his hands sparked fire inside you. It's been too long. He felt so solid against you.

You worked around strong guys and by no means were you a delicate woman. Still something in the way he held you made you feel so prescious.

You traced with your deft, blunt nails slipped under his mask, tracing down the back of his skull. The growl you caused made you snap back to reality.

It was dangerously becoming more heated than you planned. You pulled back, flushed, out of breath.

"Text when you get home." You whispered against his mouth. Regretfully pulling back.

"Yeah," he said, his lips stroking yours, not sure if he wanted to let you go just yet.

You smiled, your hand sliding down his arm. Leo reluctantly slipped back outside. Neither of you remembered how and when he came into your flat. You watched him stand there for a moment. You waved at each other. He inched to the edge of the railing. Just before he jumped down he looked over his shoulder. A soft smile on his face was matching yours. When he disappeared you closed the window.

You needed a really cold shower.