#also I put this on Discord and it's great

[willowwindss]

This is all true but I wanted to put some possible solutions down as well:

- Regular doctor check-ups: I know the US isn’t great for visiting doctors in general but it’s still very important to not let unusual things go for too long. And to make sure your doctor always knows everything you’re currently taking. I’ve been lucky with very thorough doctors in the past 7 years or so who have guided me through various mental health hurdles. When I wanted to try antidepressants, my regular doctor suggested trying something another family member had luck with since our similar DNA might mean that type of tablet might work best for us. It did, I had no side effects. She also carries out mental health questionnaires with me every 6 months or so to make sure I’m still feeling okay within myself. A good doctor thinks beyond just “here, take this” so take note of the ones who take their time with you and get to know you a bit.

- Organic or gentle products: There’s some godawful ingredients in mainstream products, in any category. If you can, start switching out household items for simplified or organic alternatives. You never know what might be intoxicating or harming you, or what you could be allergic to. Dishwashing liquid, laundry detergent, perfumes, soaps, skincare. Start thinking about these things. If you can, make the switch. Also don’t heat up and eat food in plastic containers/bowls. Put them in a proper bowl.

- Clean living environment: Dust, dirt, mould, all huge factors into how we feel on a daily basis. Clean your house at least once a month, or more, and DON’T use bleach or dangerous ingredients to do so. Get your house checked for carbon monoxide leaks, get your windows open daily, get the mould out of your shower, stop inhaling dust every time you turn your ceiling fan on. These won’t cause psychosis of course but they won’t help you be any healthier on a daily basis.

- Reduce stress: Stress is a silent killer. You have to figure out a way to ensure stress rarely takes over. No, it doesn’t mean you are hard-working and efficient if you are stressed all the time, if anything it means the opposite. Efficiency would eliminate stress, not create it. You should not be crying after work every day, or feeling sick every Sunday before work. Or passing out from exhaustion. You should know how to unwind, and what things help you feel relaxed. If you don’t know these things, you likely never reach a point of just being, and relaxing. When is the last time you just stopped? Looked around? Took a full deep breath in and out? Had an hour completely to yourself to do anything you want? Does your partner help around the house or do you come home from work to more work? (can’t count the number of permanently stressed women I see living like this…). If you feel like you live underwater, you need to come up for air and tell someone how you feel. Boss, colleague, friend, partner, family member, discord server, your freakin’ dog or cat because they pick up on it too. Tell someone, say something. If you legitimately can’t tell anyone, write it down. Write exactly how you feel, don’t worry about spelling or grammar, then tear the paper up, throw it across the room, whatever you need to do. Your body is a pressure cooker and the more stress you stuff into it, the more it gets ready to explode.

99% of "mysterious disappearances" esp of people in their 20s who start acting weird for 48 hours and then vanish are not mysterious, thats just when a lot of reality-obliterating mental illness tends to kick in and it's pretty easy to get a short circuit in your brain that makes you go family guy death pose in joshua tree national park. it's not any less tragic, it's just a documented phenomenon and not particularly predictable. its a big reason the medical advice is for people with a family history of schizophrenia to completely avoid weed and psychedelics. "people just go crazy sometimes" is a principle of human health that used to be a lot more accepted prior to the american midcentury and to a certain extent thats a healthier way to conceptualize and prepare for the risk, as opposed to the modern assertion that anyone acting weird is dangerous and broken forever.

[olderthannetfic]

Hey, so I know this is probably something that not many can relate, but I wanted to ask here anyways:

How do you guys do to not feel alone or lonely in fandoms? I'm not mostly active in a small one and almost all of us know each other, but yet seems like I'm an outcast. When I hear that most of the members are DMing one another or creating little creative groups and yet somehow no one tries to dm me and brainstorm ideas... or when some of them have called me their friends yet I try to keep contat and the friendship going and it feels like I'm just being pushy or stupid for trying.

Is funny, because in a way it was some of my fics that rebuilt the community around this fandom, and still it feels like I'm here to churn out fics and that's it. All the fandom interaction I get is minimal and seems like a chore to the others. I haven't felt this alone in fandom communities in the past.

Maybe it's how modern fandom is and I'm being nostalgic for the fandom experience of a decade ago, or maybe it's my brain being stupid. But yeah, just, what do you guys do if you ever feel lonely in fandom spaces? Could use the help. Also, love the blog. Have a nice day :)

--

Okay, first, one hundred percent, your brain is being stupid. I'm having a bad brain day today myself. There could also be some other stuff going on, but let's be real: your brain is being stupid. Not feeling lonely is at least half about general mental health management.

I don't think fandom is necessarily always lonely now. I do find that I've done a bad job of cultivating close friendships lately. I'm trying to finish up some projects, and my kid is entering a phase where it's hard to go to events. I think it's very easy to not have enough energy to make social things happen. It's also easy to not remember how much effort one put in in the past or to not have noticed at the time since one was in a more energetic, excited phase or happened to be in some situation where one ran into potential friends without trying (school or the like).

Now, it sounds like you're already putting in some work trying to connect with people. That's good. That's a necessary, though not always sufficient, step. It's hard to tell from the outside whether other people find it a chore. I'd guess that's more your brain sabotaging you than reality.

I think there's a strong possibility that these DMs you aren't privy to are less awesome than you think. People tend to assume everyone around them is doing better—better than those other people actually are and better than themselves. They seem okay on the surface! They must have their shit together, unlike me! (Spoiler: they probably don't.)

It's certainly possible that you're great at fic but much less good at conversation. If the things you want to chat about just don't mesh well with these other people's style, a DM conversation will grind to a halt. I can give the usual advice about being genuinely interested in others and remembering to ask about them, but it's totally possible there's just a natural mismatch that can't be fixed. It's also possible they all hang out on some discord together that sparks the DM conversations, but you don't like discord and thus aren't there when the conversations break off like that. Substitute twitter or zoom or whatever other divisive format as applicable.

I suppose the times I've really had a good connection discussing meta thoughts on some character or canon have been when I had a beta or someone I was brainstorming with. When you post fics, perhaps you could add a note that you're looking for someone like that, or you could offer to beta for others.

[ghost-proofbaby]

hey y’all!

so i’ve been considering this a lot in the past few weeks, and figured i’d make an official post so you all know i’m alive and what not since i have been very much inactive as of recently.

i’m taking a break.

not forever! not because of anything in the fandom! this break is solely due to personal life reasons and the fact i just can’t be as active on here right now between my jobs and personal affairs. and it also won’t be long — i’m going to be off here probably through the end of november. if i have the time/mental capacity to come back before then, i absolutely will 🖤 but right now, tumblr isn’t something that fits easily within my days and also, writing for my fics hasn’t been something i can easily do not due to lack of inspiration but lack of time.

again, this is just due to my own personal life currently. nothing happened in the fandom that motivated this decision (i honestly don’t even know what’s happening on here currently solely because i haven’t had the time to scroll lol) and it’s very much not permanent, and will HOPEFULLY be very short. like i said, until the end of november. i’ll still be writing in my free time, and my hope is to be able to update fics once i’m back and worse better than ever! 🖤

see y’all in december <3

[hwanswerland]

happy birthday jazzy @woosansang ♡♡♡

[klysanderelias]

Yeah this is a thing I've been thinking a LOT about in my unemployment right now both because I'm struggling to do ANYTHING, even things I enjoy, with my time, but also when I do manage to do things, I'm running into this issue

But also it's not just that I want the instant gratification of showing it off and getting a pat on the head, it's a mix of my various mental disorders where like, I don't just want to be praised, i want to TALK about it, and talk about it at length.

And I think a lot of that is down to the OCD, that I want to get feedback on risks I've taken or make sure that I'm coming across correctly, but also it's this sort of...

There are a lot of times where you make something, or are involved in a creative process to some degree, or even just showing someone something cool, where the response is just 'huh, cool' and that just doesn't work for me. If I'm sending someone a video I liked and they respond with 'huh cool' that's not the worst thing in the world, but the more I'm invested in it, the more I want a level of engagement back.

And to a certain extent, I think that's a normal healthy understandable response because it sucks to show off something you're really proud of and get a real uninterested response, but also I think what I'm really doing is trying to unlearn this trained response of like, 'oh no one cares', 'it's better off if I just don't say anything'

Because like yeah, not everything requires my input, and I need to be careful not to talk over people or take over spaces that aren't meant for me, but also going too far in the other direction and saying 'I should never be involved in this conversation, what if everyone hates me for commenting, etc' isn't great either.

It does kind of feel sometimes like I'm pushing a bit, like I'm nudging people and going 'remember I exist, interact with me' and I try not to do the secret tests in my mind but it IS extremely noticeable when I'm in a small discord with a group of friends* and like 8 of them never respond to me in any way, when it's the same two people reacting, and even then not necessarily reacting like they're happy I'm here.

And I try not to needle people or push their buttons for a reaction, because I did my best to get away from that in middle school, but there are times where I'm just like, welp, I put myself out there and tried to be engaged and got nothing back, guess I'll kill myself.

It's just like, there's this maladjusted kid still in me who's ready to self-flagellate as soon as anything goes wrong, just completely unable to cope with rejection, and it just feels like there's a part of my brain grasping at straws like 'please, please, can you PLEASE engage with me in a way that makes me feel like I'm important'

And that's a lot of pressure to put on someone! And I tend to try and push that desire off into long rambles on here, because at least I'm working through it - but every time I make something, I'm so desperate to show it off because what if someone engages with it as much as I have, what if someone isn't just going to say 'oh cool' but actually dive in.

And when that doesn't happen, or I don't really have anyone to show it to, I feel I immediately lose motivation or interest and it becomes a chore instead of something exciting - and I've been saying 'sub drop' in my head, and I don't think that's a perfect analogy, but there's something that really kind of helps by framing it that way. Like, I put a lot of effort into something, and I'm getting a lot of joy out of it, and then I stop working on it for long enough that the endorphins wear off, and if I don't get feedback, it's hard to want to pick it up again because I'm not just not feeling great anymore, I'm feeling like I did something wrong, or like I'm being ignored, etc.

And I dunno, I don't want to make comparisons that are trivializing or just straight up wrong, but it helps to frame it that way. It helps go 'yeah, I'm feeling down about this, and it's because the high wore off and I'm not really getting 'aftercare' now'. And my only recompense I think is to push through it, but I'm also trying to be better about actively seeking that engagement out - the only problem is that we've all got our own lives and responsibilities and it's not really fair to drop an 11 page document in front of someone and expect them to get really invested in it immediately.

ADHD is do awesome because you have to tell yourself once every 17 seconds that the discomfort you feel during the creative process is, in fact, not a sign of failure, but your brain just having a temper tantrum due to a lack of instant gratification

[sourscratched]

bunch of screenshots from the off book livestream, shoutout shoutout to everyone who was in the chat 🌋🪽🌴

[popcorn-plots]

long rant incoming, I'm just fed up with a certain person right now

OH MY GOODNESS is it too much to ask for just a LITTLE respect?? I drive this girl to and from school, every day. I'm going to call her Laura. Laura is an only child and the only reason I'm taking her to school is because she refuses to bike to mile and a half from her place to the school in the cold. Which is fine. The arrangement was that I drive her and she pays gas money. The problem is, she's been super annoying about it. Every morning for about a month, she would text me "are you picking me up today". every single morning. Until I snapped one day and told her that I have been picking her up every morning for the past month, of course I'm picking her up. not my proudest moment, but it works. Now, however, I have to text her every time I'm at her house and she still takes maybe 4 minutes to get out the door. Which, okay, I can understand the texting thing, but I would like her to be ready. and then every afternoon, she tells me that she can't find my car, so I have to tell her where I parked it in the morning. or she won't text anything and I'm sitting in my car for five or ten minutes after I text her for a response that's lik "oh I was with friends" or "I thought you were still in the school, I'm coming out now" which. okay. I understand, I like talking to my friends, but we all leave pretty quickly because no senior wants to stay at school longer than they have to. But there have been more than a few times where I'm sitting in my car for OVER HALF AN HOUR waiting for her to text back with "oh btw I forgot to tell you, I have a club meeting" or "i went home with a friend" or some bs. So every day I have to text her "do you need a ride home" because I'm waiting, in my car, for 15 minutes after school, waiting for this girl. And today, I'm sitting there for 25 minutes. and I'm like, okay I can wait, because I have some fics to catch up on. But then I'm finished with my fics

and I text her because she's still not there and it takes another five minutes for her to respond, word for word, "oh, sorry, I thought you would text me when you got to your car" after I've REPEATEDLY said that I typically leave school as soon as I can. I'm willing to wait for her, but I'm usually gone within five minutes of the bell. I waited half an hour for her to tell me that she was waiting for me to text her, informing her of my location, after I've told her that I'm always at my car. I even text her when I have something going on! Club meeting? I pick her up and before we get to school "I can't drive you home because I have a club meeting." If I have somewhere to be, or if I have to stay after school, I tell her before school or during lunch. Every single time, without fail.

not to mention the fact that the original arrangement was that she would pay me 10 dollars every 2 weeks for gas. I've only gotten 20 dollars in the past three and a half months. she keeps asking if I have venmo, and then never bringing up payment when I say that I don't. and she always complains about being too broke to afford anything, then goes and buys pizza and donughts during lunch. she's been flaky for everything else, too and it's so annoying. I've been trying to be a nice friend, because I didn't have friends, let alone kind friends growing up, and I've becoming known as the rich friend who's always willing to help in my friend group. I try to set boundaries, but then people stop talking to me the moment I do. and this has gone on throughout my entire life. Laura's behavior is even what happened in all of my previous relationships, I'd be giving 100 percent and they're giving 50, at best, until I wear myself out just trying to spend time with them and make it work, including talks where I set my boundaries and tell them, literally say "I would like it if you could just do this". If you could just get work off for a single evening or just look away from the computer for half an hour during lunch so we can have an actually conversation, then they never even try and don't understand when I'm all out of juice and can't keep going, then are confused when I stop giving my all

it's infuriating and I hate it. I really want to set boundaries, but guess what. I was raised to walk on eggshells around my mom and let people walk all over me because that's the only way that I would ever get attention from my PARENTS. because I was told to shut up and do what I'm told so that my siblings could get the help that they needed.

[chambercultist]

>play regretevator >april fools update warning for jumpscares makes me question if its safe to play because i dont know if it actually has them or if theyre joking >decide to play anyway and get freaked out by the unreality that they didn't even make a joke warning about >"oh wow this update sucks. i bet this is a common problem with the update, people getting freaked out after not being warned properly and all" >go on the discord

[dhmis-autism]

SORRY. JUST REALIZED I ORIGINALLY SKETCHED THE STUFF FROM THAT LAST WIP POST IN. MARCH.

GODDDD...

[neonacidtrip]

“ And it hurts so much! Life is suffering. It is hard! The world is cursed. But still, you find reasons to keep on living." ... "I don't regret a thing, you know. I don't regret the struggles. I don't regret the hardships. The pain. The sorrow. And I've seen so much of it! But still. I don't regret what I've done or how I've lived my life. I just wish the world had been a better place. A better place for them, for us... But surely, a better place for you, my dear." ... "I feel like a vast vessel, with so many dusty rooms and cabins... I have so many of them... So many memories... Some of them are gone, but some of them... Some of them will live on forever. In you, in others. ”

- Astrid, Spiritfarer Farewell Edition

[shymaidxn]

Hey, I just woke up. I'll work on the starter call probably tonight!! I'm just very sleepy / have plans already rn

The party I went to last night was...........Okay? The sangria a coworker made was yummy, and the cake she bought for the birthday girl was yummy~ But then drama and being the responsible friend because my mom told me to be.........overall solid 7 / 10 or 6 / 10 party I guess.

[mcmansionhell]

2007-core nostalgia extravaganza

Quick PSA: someone on Facebook is apparently impersonating me using an account called "McMansion Hell 2.0" -- If you see it, please report! Thanks!

Howdy folks! I hope if you were born between 1995 and 2001 you're ready for some indelible pre-recession vibes because I think this entire house, including the photos have not been touched since that time.

This Wake County, NC house, built in 2007, currently boasts a price tag of 1.7 million smackaroos. Its buxom 4 bedrooms and 4.5 baths brings the total size to a completely reasonable and not at all housing-bubble-spurred 5,000 square feet.

I know everyone (at least on TikTok) thinks 2007 and goes immediately to the Tuscan theming trend that was super popular at the time (along with lots of other pseudo-euro looks, e.g. "french country" "tudor" etc). In reality, a lot of decor wasn't particularly themed at all but more "transitional" which is to say, neither contemporary nor super traditional. This can be pulled off (in fact, it's where the old-school Joanna Gaines excelled) but it's usually, well, bland. Overwhelmingly neutral. Still, these interiors stir up fond memories of the last few months before mommy was on the phone with the bank crying.

I think I've seen these red/navy/beige rugs in literally every mid-2000s time capsule house. I want to know where they came from first and how they came to be everywhere. My mom got one from Kirkland's Home back in the day. I guess the 2010s equivalent would be those fake distressed overdyed rugs.

I hate the kitchen bench trend. Literally the most uncomfortable seating imaginable for the house's most sociable room. You are not at a 19th century soda fountain!!! You are a salesforce employee in Ohio!!!

You could take every window treatment in this house and create a sampler. A field guide to dust traps.

Before I demanded privacy, my parents had a completely beige spare bedroom. Truly random stuff on the walls. An oversized Monet poster they should have kept tbh. Also putting the rug on the beige carpet here is diabolical.

FYI the term "Global Village Coffeehouse" originates with the design historian Evan Collins whose work with the Consumer Aesthetics Research Institute!!!!

This photo smells like a Yankee Candle.

Ok, now onto the last usable photo in the set:

No but WHY is the house a different COLOR??????? WHAT?????

Alright, I hope you enjoyed this special trip down memory lane! Happy (American) Labor Day Weekend! (Don't forget that labor is entitled to all it creates!)

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! Student loans just started back up!

[omniseurs-blog]

I am a stealth trans man, the privilege I have is being treated like a man as soon as they see me

If I'm applying for a job, I am treated like a woman trying to be perceived as a man, because they still see my legal name and gender marker on my ID.

If I'm trying to date, I'm perceived as a predator by straight women, a confused lesbian by bi/lesbian women (these demographics I rarely, if never go after), a tomboy by straight/bisexual men, and a gay fetishizer by gay men. At best with trans women, I become the therapist, and with trans men, it becomes an argument of passing better or worse and jealousy. That's not to say out of every demographic there are people who handle the relationship properly, but that the majority don't.

In friendships, things can go great for months and months, sometimes even years before they find out I'm trans and they start acting weird about it.

Suddenly they recommend more "feminine" music, hobbies, activities to do with me, they suddenly view me as their therapist to vent about difficulties with women, and that's all the BEST case scenario, that's the BEST thing that could happen from them finding out, this one's also the easiest to handle, "I thought you might like to see my grandmas garden.... My grandpa also likes it... Haha" - "no, nah, I wanna get back to playing eve online with you though, I mean, I do have some fake plants, heard they help with depression, think real ones would last a month at most".

An unfortunate amount of people react to things they don't understand with anger and attacks, whether that be verbal or physical.

I used to be nearly best friends with a girl named Kat. Unknown to me at the time, she had a crush on me. She invited me over, we got to her bedroom (in my mind, to hang out), she pushed me on the bed (I thought it was playful, like wrestling), and she pulled my shirt up and saw my binder, jumped away, and started apologizing. I went home straight after that. After that, she avoided me, and called me a faggot, rapist, molester, and creep after that. I wasn't interested in her at all before or after that, and I wasn't the one who initiated or caused that situation to happen.

Another incident was while I was at the mental ward, in which they usually refused to put my chosen name on the cards, and I would turn it around and write my chosen name every time I saw it. Unfortunately, I usually wasn't fast enough and someone saw my dead name on the card. He started asking me inappropriate questions, calling me a tranny, and eventually lead to him punching me in the face, the police being called, and the police did nothing besides give me a court date in an entire state over, which I had no way to get to, meaning nothing happened and the case was dropped.

A lot of people react to things they don't understand with suddenly disappearing from your life too.

You join a hobby discord server, talk, people think you're cool, they add and DM you, you get along fine talking to each other, you mention as relevant to the conversation that you're trans, the conversation magically fizzles out and becomes dry, and then they stop responding all together, usually intermitten with one or 2 inappropriate questions about your genitals or body or kids or hormones or surgery.

[tastesousweet]

⭒ crush

| hamzahthefantastic x youtuber!reader au

summary: hamzah has a crush that is extremely obvious to everyone except you ... somehow?! (both written & smau!!!)

a/n: happy new years!!!!!!

— march 2024

hamzah is hungry beyond belief.

martin's already assured him both over facetime and text that he's on his way with their full course meal of chinese takeout— currently sat in the basket of martin's rented bike, jostling up and down with every bump of the toronto pavement without a doubt. yet his stomach is still throwing a tantrum, depraved of any nutrients while his brain repeats in a neanderthal-like manner "food. coming. soon." in hopes of reducing the pressure within his poor stomach.

he opens instagram, needing some sort of an escape, because naturally a little doom-scrolling will ease his (dramatic but still very real) pain. somehow, among the ridiculous animal reels and comedic twitch clips on his explore feed, he stumbles upon a reel from you. a girl with a different quality and charm to your face and character than anything he's seen in other content creators.

not only does your bubbly yet elegant voice keep him watching but the subject matter is rather fitting— you're cooking a homemade chicken pot pie for the first time. in the video you talk about how often your mother would prepare it growing up and now it's become a popular craving for you. hamzah watches intently as if he were ready to get up and make his own pot pie alongside you.

"hey! the hell are you smiling at?" martin's voice is breathy due to his trek to and from the chinese restaurant. he walks into the living room holding a crinkly plastic bag reading: "thank you! have a nice day!" with that big, yellow smiley face in between.

"huh? nothin'." hamzah dismisses and adjusts himself on the couch, "come on, 'm starving!" he reaches his hand out to take the food from martin before patting the seat next to him.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

— june 2024

"so when are you gonna come see us?"

it was a surprise to see hamzah follow you on instagram a few months ago. you'd heard his name thrown around in certain spaces of the internet but never really indulged in any of his content.

his instagram had the format of a shitposting ten-year-old but it only made you curious about the humorous twenty-something. eventually you'd watched a youtube video of his; completely laughing your ass off and finding your eyes chasing after hamzah whenever he was in even the tiniest of frames.

it was never a serious crush by any means, just a nice piece of secret eye-candy who also happened to have a great personality and an enviously good work ethic (the effort martin and hamzah put into their videos was astonishing to you).

so you were quite nervous to be the first to dm him, in hopes of a friendship or a least a quick exchange of "hey." it was only right — you two had been liking each other's poss and stories a consistent amount.

the mellow first exchange between the two of you in april blossomed into you both constantly talking in your free time; your friendship quickly to developed a flirty back-and-forth dynamic that sometimes borders on way more than platonic. eventually martin was added to your consistent facetime calls and you’ve even let them convince you to create a discord account to play minecraft and grand theft auto online with them.

and now you’re lying on your leather couch with both of their faces displayed in your laptop’s screen, eager to hear your response.

“i don’t know…” you play with a loose end of the sweater you’re wearing, “what would we even do?”

they both stay quiet for a moment before hamzah laughs, “why are you acting like you don’t wanna say yes right now?”

a smile slowly grows on your face “okay… gimme a second,” you begin to google flight information to and from toronto.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

— september 2024

yourusername

Liked by clairedrake, hamzahthefantastic, and others

yourusername Y’all didn’t tell me they get wild in the 6 , Omg??!! Highly requested video out neow <3

View all comments

chaserutherford 🍽️8️⃣ • ♥︎ by author

yourusername I rlly do miss u already 😖😖😖😖

ynfan01 ohhhh this was so necessary thank u mother☺️!! • ♥︎ by author

yourusername Mhm!!! Olivia Wilde head nod 💞💞

slushieeee333 y/n: slurping pasta , hamzah the whole time: 😊👀😍😊

thatmartinkid hey look ma i made it!!! 🫵😂 • ♥︎ by author

ynsnumberone THE FLIRTING WENT CRAZYYYYY

slushedyn her and hamzah are obsessed with each other i fear

thatslushykid COME BACK 2 TORONTO ASAP I NEED MORE COLLABS RN!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

hamzahluver45 ok but like it’s so obvious that her trying to flirt was just irritating them the whole time !! Like girl ..💀💀

hamzahthefantastic Posting our dms is already one thing , but TAGGING ME is actually crazy 🤔🤔 • ♥︎ by author

yourusername R u mad @ me Bby???? 😕

hamzahthefantastic BruhLmaooooooooooo

freakzahfan that's one too many "o"s just say u wanna kiss her my boy

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

“oh!” you accidentally trip over yourself while walking backwards and stumble into hamzah, who was standing in front of the unfamiliar grocery store, watching you prepare to give an intro. “jesus,” martin laughs under his breath from behind the camera. he lowers the camera, showing his feet but still picking up his voice in the mic, “you good?!”

the clip cuts to you stood upright again, "i'm in the six!!!" you exclaim loudly, raising your arms above your head. "and i'm here with slushy noobz to add to my series where other creators "teach me" their specialty. you tug at hamzah's arm and pull him into the frame with you, "hamzah tell them what you and martin are gonna teach me," you look up a him while still holding onto his arm. you interrupt him before he even begins to speak, "oh yeah! martin is also here by the way!" you point and martin flips the camera to himself. "they're just leaving me out it's fine, i know i'm out already, just vote just vote," he references with a sigh before turning it back to you and hamzah. "don't start! chase is on his way to come and film for us-" "listen! this is our plan-- we're gonna teach you how to mukbang; everyone knows we're very qualified in this field and know everything there is to know about the subject, so, uhh, yeah we're kinda experts. i dont know, would you say that, martin?" hamzah rambles. "yeah, i think that's a good way to describe us" "perfect! then you're teachin' me how to kiss next, right?" you ask. hamzah goes from looking at you attentively (hanging onto your every word) to a face deadpanned as he glances over to martin trying not to smile.

the video cuts to a clip with the three of you, finally, all in one shot now that chase is behind the camera. you pull a cart out from its slot and push yourself on it before standing both feet on top of the tiny foot bar, gliding through the automatic doors.

next, a clip of martin speaking to the camera while you and hamzah look through different pasta sauces together, "okay we didn't really explain this well but essentially we're all going to cook a nice dish and then eat it together in front of you guys. isn't that cute?" "yeah, can't wait for us to mukbang together" hamzah speaks. martin turns back to the camera with a smirk, "i bet you wish you were mukbanging with us huh, chase?" "no. and you just made that word up." martin's face falls.

the entire grocery shopping trip is filmed with little moments like hamzah mispronouncing a few brand names, martin talking to strangers about which pasta noodle to try, and you randomly walking off into estranged aisles "just to see if things are really different here"

now, you're all back at martin's home; you read aloud the recipe and hamzah is stood practically on top of you as he also looks down at the phone, all while martin lays ingredients out of the counter. "okay simple enough," hamzah says. "yeah, and you're still gonna make me do all of the work anyway," martin huffs sarcastically. you giggle a bit, "martin the most you'll have to do is boil water, i'll force him to do the rest." "huh???!! who??" hamzah questions, his smiley face “accidentally” leaning far too close to yours. "you, duh!" you laugh and turn away to look for a large pot.

throughout the cooking process you slowly stop helping; talking to mandy while you two eat chips and salsa while leaning on the counter or petting the pets instead of doing any of the tasks given to you from the self-proclaimed chefs.

"this is literally your video! what the hell y/n?!" martin whines when he finds you and mandy making a tiktok in his "man cave" together after you'd told them you were going to the bathroom, "seriously mandy?" all of the audio can be heard from the mics on your clothing. "where was she?" hamzah says monotonous as he scrolls on his phone. "making freaking tiktoks with mandy of course!" you giggle as you walk into the kitchen behind him, "what? the food is practically done, we're just waiting on garlic bread!" you shrug and hamzah immediately turns at the sound of your voice. "well, you gonna at least show us?" hamzah asks casually placing his hands on the counter around you, trapping you in the space between him and the marble surface. "yeah," you tilt your head so you can look at his face as you make fun of his not-so-friendly gesture, "you wanna keep breathing down my neck like that while i show you?" he laughs and moves away to cover up the embarrassment of being called out. "stop!" you laugh and bring him back into frame forcing him and martin to watch you and mandy dance on your phone screen.

the four of you sit on the carpet with plates full of chicken alfredo and pieces of garlic bread laid out on martin’s coffee table. you all talk about your experience in toronto so far, how you and hamzah first met, … et cetera.

martin attempts to teach you canadian slang: “keener is big here.” “actually? what the hell does that even mean?” “it’s kinda like a try hard— people will call you a keener if you’re doing too much, basically.” “wait tell me more!” “i mean things like buddy is way too common here. some random old guys will call me that and it always throws me off??” “yeah they always say it so demeaning,” hamzah laughs. “do you guys actually say ‘eh?’ all the time? i feel like i haven’t noticed it a lot.” you ask genuinely. “i won't lie.. i say it more often than i like to admit!” mandy says. you’ve noticed that no matter if you’re the one speaking or not hamzah’s eyes keep glancing and sometimes full on staring at you (he really doesn’t mean to but he thinks he’s finally processing that you’re actually here with them after months of wanting this) you're flattered nonetheless.

at some point hamzah and martin recreate a scene in lady and the tramp, successfully slurping at the same noodle until hamzah retreats and martin sighs at his lack of commiting to the bit. you laugh along before asking hamzah’s to share a noodle with you with a smile slapped over your face, “me next?” he fights off any blushing with a roll of his eyes and his response of, “yeah? ask me again in a sec.”

after you’ve all finished eating, you complete the video with a big smile and a promise of more collaborations in the future.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

•••

[moctor]

You want it?

It's yours my friend!

https://moctor.gumroad.com/l/smugjug

FINALLY

I did NOT mean for this to take so long! - I've had an incredibly busy year. Apparently pursuing a new career makes whole chunks of time just vanish >_>

Admittedly there's also the fact that I'm a forgetful perfectionist who feels immense shame when anyone sees my DISGUSTING topology, and my plans to make a full remesh/cleanup were constantly delayed... by shiny new fun ideas that don't require hours of tedious retopo and weight painting

But now I've kinda just accepted the fact that people aren't really gonna care about non-symmetrical geo or barely noticeable clipping... right?

And also you'll need to accept the fact that if you wanna use this for anything more complex than a discord sticker (or 3d print) it's gonna take a bit of work, but I know you'll do a great job because you're so epic!!1

I'd previously mentioned my worries about asset scrapers/resellers/AI trainers, and I was thinking of selling it for a couple quid as a deterrent, but that didn't feel right to me since I'd used someone else's sculpt as a reference. So I just decided to say fuck it and just share it in its current state before I get distracted or forget.

!! Absolutely no reselling or commercial use whatsoever okay? !!

(if you wanna put the model in your game or use it in a video or something like that it's probably fine, feel free to get in touch if you have any questions)

Oh yeah and thanks for all the lovely messages! And thanks for being patient :]

also PLEASE tag me if you make anything stoopid I really gotta see

[ts-witchy-archive]

Low Energy Devotional Activities and Ways to Connect with the Gods

Let's be honest, religion and consistent practice can be HARD, especially when you're chronically ill, disabled, mentally ill or neurodivergent. This is a list of lower energy practices you can do to connect with your Gods when you're having a rough day.

Pray. You don't have to say the prayer. You don't have to do the full cleansing and offering. Just think about the prayer. It could be as simple as "'Deity Name', thank you. I'm thinking of you and appreciate you."

Dedicate any self care you do to the Gods. You've got to take meds? awesome. it's now a devotional activity.

If you can, light a tea light candle. You can think about who you're dedicating it to as you're lighting it.

Tell them about your day. Have a simple conversation with them (again, this can be in your head if needed).

Offer some water! Water is a great offering if you don’t have the energy to cook, collect or buy something.

Incense is also a great offering because you can light it then forget about it and your house won’t burn down (if you follow regular safety measures). 

Resting. Your deities want you to be okay. Dedicating your rest to your deities is especially great if you feel guilty for allowing yourself time to heal.

Turn on a video of someone reading mythos! 

Put on a deity playlist. There are plenty of pre-made ones on Spotify. 

Veil or bind your hair! Whenever I’m low energy I’ll throw my hair in a ponytail and bind it that way. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. 

Make a Pinterest board for them!

Post on a digital altar! There are plenty of discord servers that have digital altars and temples. You could also make a devotional Tumblr blog. 

Change your phone lock/home screen to something that reminds you of your Deity.

I hope this is helpful to anyone who needs it! Take care of yourself first and foremost. If you don't think you can manage something on this list then thats perfectly fine too! you're not a bad person for not being able to do something spiritual or religious. Ultimately, these things are not a necessity. Don't stress :)