#also I hope y’all like the cover art!! it only took me like 50 years

[mysteryfeesh]

Hey gang! Chapter 1 of my Sidon/Link/Yona fic “Can We Always Be This Close? (Forever and Ever?)” is now up on ao3!

Summary: Yona’s all too aware of Sidon’s feeling for his best friend, and while it had bothered her at first, meeting the young hero made her realize that she too was not impervious to Link’s charm. While Sidon remains blissfully unaware of his own feelings, Yona hatches a plan to bring them all together.

Meanwhile, Link ends up in Zora’s Domain after a devastating revelation, and he’s not quite sure how Yona and Sidon will feel about him if he shares his newest knowledge.

Will they ever be able to open up? Or will they take these thoughts to their graves?

[Major spoilers for TOTK, especially the Dragon Tears quest line!]

[transthaumaturge]

Squirrel Girl is Super Gay for her Roommate and I Want Everyone to Know

A gay infodump of sensible length by Rachel Tikvah

ALRIGHT, SO The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl was the very first comic that I ever read regularly, back when I was looking for more stories with strong female protagonists but didn't really know why. Back then I just thought I really liked strong female characters and not that I was being gay on main, but now I know the truth. The comic had a 5-year run, and it was the first time that Squirrel Girl, AKA Doreen Green, had had her own series. She had a brief run in the mid-2000's where she was established as someone who could beat up Thanos with her bare hands well, more like squirrel hands but was mostly a joke character that happened to be incredibly buff and had indestructible plot armor. USG decided that Doreen's next major life goal would be to enroll in college to become a computer scientist, because her writer, Ryan North, is really into computer science and they basically gave him free rein over Squirrel Girl canon for five whole years. Like, a solid third of the plots are solved with some kind of computer science smarts. It’s really cool. Anyway this is Doreen in one of the gayest solo pictures I could find of her on short notice, which is also one of the variant covers from the actual series:

And this is her college roommate, Nancy Whitehead:

I'm like, 99% certain that Ryan North intended for them to end up as a couple and Disney!Marvel told him no. So he decided to make them AS GAY FOR EACH OTHER AS POSSIBLE without explicitly saying that they were a couple, and it ended up going under the radar. What follows is evidence for that claim. I’m going to put a "read more” after this so it doesn’t clutter everyone’s dashboards, but please read on if you’re interested. There’s a lot of cute gayness after this point. I’m also going to put all of the image descriptions at the end, since they take up a lot of space and I don’t want to break up the flow of the post. Finally, a quick spoiler alert for one arc in the middle of the series and a couple major plot points from the final few issues.

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

So for a while it was just kind of hinted at that they’re in a relationship, mostly because they were basically domestic life partners for like, two whole years in-universe before the comic run ended. But it really came to a head with an arc that was ran about 2/3 of the way through the series. Some pictures of them being, like, so cute together in general and/or talking about how much they care about each other before I get to that arc, though: 

Also Doreen describes her and Nancy's cat as "co-parented" in one of the last issues:

ANYWAY, THE ARC. THE HYPERTIME ARC. So one of the villains created for the Squirrel Girl run (I think they liked making weird shit canon just because they could) was a dude who went by the name "EpicCrimez". He’s a crime streamer. He livestreams his crimes to an online audience. I don't know. *Throws up hands*

He had some kind of laser gun that he built out of scavenged alien tech but didn't really know what it did, so he shot it at Doreen and Nancy for kicks. It shot them into hypertime, so suddenly the rest of the world was moving at a fraction of the pace that they were. They were moving so quickly that they were slated to live out their entire lives over the span of a single weekend if they didn't figure out how to reverse the effects. And...they did. Live out their entire lives together. For the two of them, they were the only two people in the world. There were other people, but they looked like statues unless you spent a very long time observing them. Doreen and Nancy grew old together in a world where they only had each other. This is an incredibly cute domestic scene from a little while after they found themselves in hypertime:

Gosh, I wish I could find more official art from that arc of them just living together, it was so good. But the point is, they were both old by the time that Nancy figured out how to get them out of hypertime. And it wasn't ideal. Their bio signatures were stored in the gun that EpicCrimez shot, and they could essentially "reboot" their bodies from when they were first shot and send themselves back into the regular timestream. But they wouldn't remember anything about the life that they had shared together. Nancy almost didn't want to do it. She raised the possibility of them just living out the rest of their lives together, because she didn't want to forget their life together. This is the conversation they had:

"I don't regret any of it. I don't want to lose it, and I don't want to lose us." "You're not getting rid of me that easily." Every time I look at that last picture, which took up an entire page of the comic, I start to cry. We’re seeing the final moments of two people who love each other more than anything, who were each other's entire lives, savoring their last moments together and wondering what the future holds. Sacrificing the life that they built together so that their younger selves could live a better, fuller one. Dying in each other’s arms, scared but comforted by the fact that they had each other. And then the arc ends, and they can't remember anything, so the status quo is restored. They have some paintings they made of each other while they were living together in hypertime, but they move on pretty quickly without ever knowing the significance of those lived decades. Still, it's clear in the arcs that follow and the adventures they embarked on afterward that they would die for each other. All of that continues until the end of the last arc. Their shared apartment's been blown up at this point by a supervillain who wanted to ruin Doreen’s life before eventually killing her. And in the aftermath of the fight, they're sifting through the wreckage for anything that survived (don't worry, the cat got out in time) when they find the picture that they painted of themselves during the hypertime arc:

They have a really cute conversation about how this chapter of their life is over, but they're going to be okay and they're going to build a new life together. And then Nancy basically tells Doreen that she can't live without her:

And then Doreen says something super queer-coded about how she likes the idea of the world knowing her secret identity now:

On the very last page of the comic, after all of the action is over and the series is about to end, they're talking to each other in what's supposed to be a twitter thread and Doreen asks Nancy a very thinly veiled question about whether she still wants to spend time with her now that her identity's out. She pretends it's about a class project, but it's really not about the class project. Here's how that conversation goes:

With no knowledge of what happened during the weekend when they shared their entire lives together, without ever having heard Doreen say it to her before, Nancy’s heart still knows which words to choose. "...you're not getting rid of me that easily. <3" I believe that the author of the series, Ryan North, did as much as he possibly could to portray them as a couple without saying it outright. And as the last piece of evidence to support that claim, I want to share a response he wrote in one of the series' last-ever letter columns:

"as for more Doreen and Nancy, I hope so too. A Squirrel Girl book without Nancy would feel like--like--like some sort of hypothetical "Super" "Man" book without an equally hypothetical "Lois" "Lane"!" It's easy to write off this analysis as wishful thinking, or as a misreading of the subtext. But when the author of the series says that these two characters are meant to always be together and compares them to one of the most famous couples in any comic series ever, it's clear that there's more to it than that. 

Some Additional Thoughts: 1) Doreen and Nancy are both probably bisexual or pansexual, since they both expressed romantic interest in men throughout the series but they’re both clearly interested in each other too. There might be an element of demiromanticism there as well if part of the reason that they’re into each other romantically is because of how emotionally close they’ve become over the years. I want to make sure that that facet of their romantic orientations doesn’t get erased, because bi and pan folks get erased enough as it is. Neither Doreen nor Nancy are lesbians, just super-cool WLWs.

2) HERE’S WHAT THE ISSUE 50 VARIANT COVER LOOKED LIKE

That’s NOT a fun, totally straight way to pose with your platonic gal pal. They’re so incredibly cute together! I have no words! In Closing If you got this far, thank you so much for letting me talk to you about a comic that’s very important to me, and a couple in that comic that I care about very much. I spent way too long making this (six hours and counting), mostly in writing the image descriptions, and I’m very proud of my work but very tired now. Hyperfixation is a hell of a drug. If this resonated with you, please consider reblogging it so that more folks can see it. If not, even a like is nice. I’d also love to engage with people who have their own thoughts, so feel free to leave some comments in the notes if you’ve got an idea/a reaction/any additional cute Doreen/Nancy scenes that you’d like to share with me. At any rate, this post has gone on long enough and I don’t want to ask y’all to read any more than you have to. So have a great day, good morning / afternoon / night, and stay safe. Thanks again for reading! ~Rachel Tikvah, AKA @transthaumaturge Image Descriptions: Image 1: [ID: Squirrel Girl, a young woman with light skin, is posing in front of a brick wall that she seems to have crashed through, leaving a perfect outline of her body. She’s facing away but looking backwards over her shoulder at us and smiling. She’s flexing upward with her right arm and has her left fist resting on her left hip. Her sidekick, a squirrel named Tippy-Toe, is standing in the cutout she left in the wall and is making the same exact pose while wearing a light pink bow around her neck. Squirrel Girl is wearing brown lace-up boots, fur-lined hot pants over grey tights, and a brown fur-lined jacket with sleeves that come up to her forearms and a symbol of an acorn embroidered into the back. She’s also wearing a hairband with fake squirrel ears on it over short reddish-brown hair. She has a large squirrel tail coming out of her hot pants that sweeps down in a curve behind her lower legs. The illustration is drawn so that everything is bathed in the light of a sunset, and Doreen is casting shadows on the wall in front of her.] Image 2: [ID: Two frames depicting a scene between Doreen and Nancy in their college dorm room, with many cardboard boxes still not unpacked and sitting on a bare bed mattress. Nancy Whitehead is a young woman with dark brown skin and short, curly black hair. She's wearing black tights, a white dress-top, and a yellow cardigan over that. Her arms are crossed as she holds her white cat, Mew, against her chest. Doreen is wearing grey tights and a black long-sleeve shirt with a wide collar and white stripes across the chest. She's holding Tippy-Toe up to Nancy with both hands so she can see her better. The following dialogue ensues: Nancy: "A squirrel? But weren't you the one who was all about pets not being allowed in--" Doreen: "Yeah, I know. But this really interesting person I met today told me that obeying an unjust law is itself unjust." Nancy: "...You know, I was worried I'd get a weird roommate, but you're all right, Doreen Green."] Image 3: [ID: Doreen and Nancy are both sitting on a lavender-pink couch in nightclothes. Doreen has short, orange hair. She is wearing a loose-fitting grey long-sleeve shirt and steel-blue cutoff shorts; Nancy has cropped black hair. She is wearing a dark purple top with sleeves that come down to her upper arms, and loose-fitting navy-blue shorts that come down to her lower thighs. Doreen is side-hugging Nancy as she says, with an ecstatically happy smile, “Nancy, you’re the greatest. You know that, right?” Nancy gives Doreen a full smile as she responds, “I’d always suspected it, but it is nice to have it confirmed.”] Image 4: [ID: Nancy is shown from the shoulders up. She has short, curly black hair. She’s wearing large, disc-shaped gold dangle earrings, and a red jacket with prominent shoulders and a yellow collar. She’s fixing the observer with an angry, determined stare as she says, “She knows this man wouldn’t dream about betraying her, or he’d have to answer to me.”] Image 5: [ID: Doreen and Nancy are eating breakfast at the brown, circular kitchen table in their apartment. Doreen’s wearing a skin-tight athletic crop top that’s striped in black, red, white, and blue. Her arm muscles are well-defined and clearly visible as she puts a spoon in her mouth, closing her eyes as she does so. She has a bowl of cereal in front of her, and half a banana in front of that. Nancy is sitting to her left in a pink camisole top that’s also exposing her muscles, scrolling through something on her smartphone. Her hair is in a yellow fabric wrap that’s knotted on one side of her head. A cup of coffee sits in front of her. The clear blue sky is visible through the window centered on the wall behind them.] Image 6: [ID: Nancy and Doreen are facing away from the vantage point, walking towards an Empire State University campus building and holding hands with their fingers intertwined. Nancy is wearing a long knee-length grey coat and black knee-high boots, with a baby-blue side bag hanging from her left shoulder. Doreen is wearing a magenta sweatshirt with the periwinkle-lined hood down, light brown form-fitting denim pants, and black ankle-high boots, with a dark brown side bag hanging from her right shoulder. Trees and bushes hem the walkway in on either side. The building in front of them is dark red, with glass doors and a row of floor-to-ceiling windows on the second floor. Doreen is saying “...we’re just going to have to take the long way around.”] Image 7: [ID: Doreen is facing towards the vantage point and is visible from the legs up, standing in front of a pile of rubble in the background. She’s wearing high-waisted light blue shorts over black tights, and a red windbreaker with sleeves ending at her upper arms that’s opened to reveal a white t-shirt underneath. Tippy-Toe is sitting on her shoulder. There are two people facing Doreen, each slightly in frame and silhouetted in black against the light of the setting sun. Doreen is fixing them with an angry, determined expression, resting her right fist at her hip while she gesticulates with her left hand and says, “So! I don’t know about you all, but Melissa kidnapping my friend and blowing up my life and my house and almost blowing up my co-parented cat makes me feel like giving her a piece of my mind. Friends...”] Image 8: [ID: A full comic page. EpicCrimez is looking like a dork in a green and black skin-tight jumpsuit, bright red ski goggles, and a green wig cap with his brown hair sticking out the back in a mullet. He’s standing inside a jewelry store and holding up a fist of expensive gems and pearls-on-strings as holds up his smartphone and speaks into it. He’s facing off against Squirrel Girl, with her allies Koi Boi and Chipmunk Hunk on her right, and Nancy and Brain Drain on the left. The following scene ensues: EpicCrimez: “And for those of you just tuning in, welcome to another successful heist by your boy EpicCrimez, streaming live! Now with 10% more live crime action than any other streamer! Don’t forget to like and subscribe!! I know some of you in EpicCrimez Nation have been forgetting to do that lately. Not acceptable.” Squirrel Girl: “You picked the wrong small business to rob, crime-initiator! Because this mall is protected by super heroes.” Brain Drain: “HELLO” SG: “And also an unrelated civilian friend I brought along too!” Nancy: (Not looking up from her phone) “ ‘Sup.” EC: “Check it out--Squirrel Girl and her miscellaneous friends are here! It’s action you won’t find on any other channel!” SG: “Are you...streaming your robberies?” (Nancy pockets her phone) EC: “Yeah I am! For money reasons! And with you “heroes” in it, I’ll make even more!” SG: (Whispering to Nancy:) “Question: a fight scene just gets him more traffic, which lets him profit from this crime even more--so does this mean we don’t fight him?” N: (Whispering back:) “I feel like letting him go causes more harm, but I look forward to us teasing apart the moral implications of this later.” SG: “Nice.” SG: (No longer whispering:) “I’ll like and subscribe, EpicCrimez! I’ll like fighting crime, and subscribe... to a worldview wherein the strong protect the weak!” EC: “Oh my gosh, are you like wholesome Spider-Man or something??” At the bottom of the page, small text says: “Wholesome Spider-Man, Wholesome Spider-Man/Does whatever a wholesome spider can/Is he tough?/Listen bud/He’s here to hear you talk about your day and tell you it’ll all be fine while taking you out for your favorite meal for dinner because he knows you deserve it.”] Image 9: [ID: Another full comic page. Doreen and Nancy are in their apartment together, and their friends Tomas and Brian (AKA Chipmunk Hunk and Brain Drain respectively) are frozen as they look down at the machine that Nancy is on her knees in front of, working on. Nancy, barefoot, is wearing cerulean-blue athletic pants, a black long-sleeve spandex shirt without shoulders, and narrow-framed glasses. Her hair is partially covered by a yellow cloth head wrap tied on the left side, with black dreadlocks spilling out the side and back. The machine in front of her is made of dull grey metal, about a meter tall and roughly circular. Wires dangle out of a hatch that Nancy is fiddling with. Doreen is wearing a flowing, dark-purple pantsuit with wide, ankle-length legs and a halter top with the sleeves tied off at her shoulders. Her shoes are light-brown ankle boots with a horizontal gap on the bridge of each foot. Her wavy orange hair is parted in the middle and down past her shoulders. She looks incredibly cute. The following scene ensues: Doreen: “What do you think?” Nancy: “I think--come on you stupid screw--I think we’re still years away from this thing working, if it ever does. Who knew time machine construction is really hard, except of course for everyone who has attempted it?” (She wipes her forehead with the back of her hand) D: “Hah! No, I mean my new outfit.” N: (Looking up and checking her gf out:) “Doreen! You look amazing!!” D: “Liberated it from a very expensive department store uptown!” N: (Now standing) “Tony paid for it?” D: Tony will eventually discover he was kind enough to leave some expensive jewelry in trade, yes. I pinned a note to him so he knows.” N: “There really are advantages to being friends with billionaire playboy genius philanthropists.” D: “Right?!” N: (Taking Doreen’s hands in hers:) “It’s a shame we can’t take a picture of you all dolled up.” D: “Not without standing still for a few months, yeah. But I was thinking about that. I picked up something else at another store downtown. Thought maybe it could help us with that.” (Holding up a shopping bag with one hand while still holding onto Nancy’s hand with the other:) “Nancy Whitehead, I thought you and I might take up painting sometime.” At the bottom of the page, small text says: “Tony Stark moves from meeting to meeting, his body accumulating dozens of notes every second. He sighs. Stuff like this didn’t happen before he knew Doreen. But then he smiles, because after all...stuff like this didn’t happen before he knew Doreen.”] Images 10-16: [ID: Several pages worth of comic frames, posted together to depict one scene. Doreen and Nancy are now old women, likely in their seventies or eighties. Doreen has short, grey hair. She’s wearing a tan button-up waistcoat and an orange ascot, brown flats with an olive-green skirt, knee-length and softly pleated. Her tail is sticking out the back of her skirt over the top, bushy and brown but with stiffer, less-dense hair. Nancy has her grey-black hair done up in a ponytail, a mass of tight curls behind her head. She’s wearing thin oval glasses, black dress pants, black flats, and a lavender cardigan with a flower motif along the edges, open to show the yellow-orange top underneath. They’re standing in front of a completed time machine. On either side are tall pieces of machinery, and in the middle is a round, flat metal dais hooked up to everything else with snaking cables. The following scene ensues: Nancy: “So...this is it, babe. The new machine.” Doreen: “Your secret project! Nancy, it looks like you started from scratch!” N: That’s because I did. I finally realized our old machine was never going to work. Maybe if we had a few more decades, but...there’s no time. And given that our backs are to the wall, I took a risk. I disassembled the gun right down to the metal, and examined all the parts. And I did find something: a data chip. Doreen, the gun stored our bio signatures when it us.” D: “What are you saying?” N: “I’m saying my new machine won’t send us back in time, and we’ll still have lost a weekend of real time. But it will restore our bodies to normal time.” D: (Hugging Nancy tight:) “Nancy! You saved us!!” N: (Resting her hands on Doreen’s shoulders:) “Not--quite. There’s a catch, Doreen. Our bodies will make it...but we won’t. Look, Doreen...I’m an old woman. I’ve spent most of my life in hypertime. This wasn’t how I saw my life going, but...I don’t regret any of it. I don’t want to lose it, and I don’t want to lose us.” D: “I don’t understand.” N: “It’s like restoring from backup. Our bodies will be restored to how they were the moment we were first hit. But--that necessarily includes our brains, too. Everything we’ve done since we entered hypertime--our entire lives spent together...we’ll forget.” (She looks at Doreen in distress) D: “I don’t either, Nancy. You’ve been the most important person in my life. But if we do go back--we can do it again. All of it. It might not happen again quite the same way, but--well, like you say...we’ll have all the time in the world.” N: (Their faces inches apart, they both tilt their heads down and smile sadly:) “Twist my arm, why don’t you.” (They both step onto the dais holding hands, and blue energy starts to ripple around them:) “You filled up Spidey’s web-shooters before we go?” D: “Yep. Again.” N: “You and me, saving the world.” D: “Well,” (holding Nancy’s hand in both of her own) "No reason we can’t do it twice.” N: “You know, there’s a chance things could turn out differently, now that we’ll have video games to distract us. In 40 years we might decide we don’t like hanging out after all.” D: (Hugging Nancy even tighter than before as the energy from the time machine starts to envelop them, resting her face in the nape of Nancy’s neck:) “Nah. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”] Image 17: [ID: Doreen and Nancy are sifting through the charred rubble of their apartment as night starts to fall around them. Doreen is wearing faded blue jeans and a navy blue t-shirt with a Captain America star in the middle. Over top of the shirt, she’s wearing a dark reddish-brown leather vest with four metal studs at the four points of the folded-out collar. Nancy is wearing black tights and a light green long-sleeve shirt with olive-green sleeves. The front of the shirt has a picture of Cat-Thor, Cat God of Cat Thunder’s head on it. The following scene ensues: Doreen: “So I know we’re only a few hours into it, Nancy, but I think my identity being public isn’t gonna be as bad as I thought.” Nancy: “Oh?” D: “Yeah, Tony’s given me lots of tips, and it does honestly help to know that my parents are protected by a robot tree with laser eyes and my friends live in a city with the most super heroes per square mile.” N: “Most super villains too, but--Hold on. I think I found it.” (Nancy lifts a picture frame out of the wreckage, charred around the edges but otherwise no worse for wear. It has a painting inside of it of Doreen and Nancy, arm-in-arm, from hypertime. Doreen is wearing the lavender pantsuit from before, and Nancy is wearing a tight-fitting lilac dress.) “...And it looks like you and I made it through just fine.”] Images 18-19: [ID: Two later comic panels from the same scene. They’re wearing the same outfits, but Nancy’s now cradling her white cat, Mew, in the crook of her left arm while she holds onto the picture frame with her right hand. The following scene ensues: Doreen: “Come on, let’s talk about it! If we’re starting a new chapter in our lives, and we can decide what’s in it, what do you want it to contain?” Nancy: “Doreen...” D: “What are the three things you can’t live without, Nancy Whitehead?” N: (Holding up the picture so that Doreen can see it:) “Fine. If you must know, all this girl needs to be happy are cats and squirrels and knitting and computers and friends and secret tattoos and super heroes and lots and lots of love. Also food and shelter. And water. And internet.” D: “That’s more than three things.”] Image 20: [ID: Same scene as before, a single frame with a close-up on Doreen from her chest upwards. Doreen cups her chin with one of her hands and says, “Honestly--I thought about it. I really did. But I realized that where I am now, I’m safe and I’m loved and I kinda like the idea of not having to lie to people anymore, you know? Even if it is just a lie of omission. I want to share my whole self with the world. I don’t want to have to hide who I am anymore.”] Image 21: [ID: Something resembling a twitter thread, with dialogue between Nancy and Doreen stacked chronologically as horizontal boxes. Their respective names and handles are at the top of each of their comments. Nancy is Nancy W. and @sewwiththeflo, Doreen is Squirrel Girl and @unbeatablesg. The following conversation ensues: Nancy: “You think I’d leave you high and dry??” Doreen: “I think I don’t want our lateness harming your grades and therefore harming your post-secondary education or career choices and therefore harming your ENTIRE LIFE?!” “So yeah I think you should switch to someone else, real talk. I honestly don’t mind, I promise.” Nancy: “Please. If there’s one thing I know about you, about me, and about how we spend our future together, it’s this. Doreen Green...” “...you’re not getting rid of me that easily. <3″] Image 22: [ID: A paragraph of text, black text on a yellow background. “As for more Doreen and Nancy, I hope so too. A Squirrel Girl book without Nancy would feel like--like--like some sort of hypothetical “Super” “Man” book without an equally hypothetical “Lois” “Lane”!”] Image 23: [ID: A group picture of Squirrel Girl and friends sitting down on a grassy hill and watching the sunset together. Kraven the Hunter is in the foreground for some reason, looking almost directly at the camera. In the background we see Koi Boi, Mary Mahajan, Chipmunk Hunk, Brain Drain, and Mew the Cat. In the middle of the shot, Doreen and Nancy sit together. Doreen is in her superhero outfit with Tippy-Toe on her right shoulder, and Nancy is in a yellow cardigan and jeans on Doreen’s left. They’re holding hands, fingers intertwined, as Nancy leans against Doreen with her whole body. Their heads are tilted inward towards each other, the side of Doreen’s head touching the side of Nancy’s, as they look off into the distance together.]

[gr0vndz3ro]

Prove Your Worth

Ceo!Bakugou x Reader(NSFW)

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, swearing, slight bondage, slight degradation, dirty talk

Word count: 3,968

A/n: My friend gave me this idea because she really wanted to see a ceo bakugou and this is how I imagined it would happen but also im a hoe for some ceo sooooo. I enjoyed this a little to much so it turned out longer than what I expected that's what she said. Also I have had to rewrite this so many times because my computer is stupid. I’m also going to be taking requests for other characters in the BNHA fandom. This was my first smut so I hope y’all like.

You stood in front of the two daunting glass doors, a lump growing in your throat as you hold onto the intern paperwork. You’re in your third year and at the Sports Festival you were finally able to make it up to 2nd place. For the first time you had more than 50 offers, a LOT more. You knew that in order to become a successful hero you were going to have to try to get in with a Pro. You were surprised to see an offer from one Pro let alone two. Deku . . . and Ground Zero, shuddering at the thought of the intense Hero. 

You take a step forward and pushed open the door, looking around the lobby and spot the receptions desk and walk over. A lady with short pink hair is typing away at the computer.

 “How can I help you there?” She said without looking up or even pausing her ferocious typing. It had honestly caught you off guard as you were just going to wait for her to finish.

“I’m Y/N L/N, the 3rd year from UA, and I was here because of the offer I got for the internship?” you hand over you hero license and show her your school I.D. She takes both cards and looks at them. You glance down at her name tag as she continues typing in the computer looking up the information, noticing that it says Mina. Wasn’t she in the same class as Deku and Ground Zero, as a matter of fact all of Ground Zero’s old high school friend group work at this agency.

“Alright it looks like in here you have a meeting with the big guy for 1:00. He’s in a meeting right now and he should be out soon... hopefully. If you head to the top floor there is going to be a waiting lounge to your right once you get out.” Mina says, interrupting your thoughts. She gestures to the elevator and flashes a quick smile.

“Thank you so much” you smile back to her and head over to the elevator. Once you enter you notice just how many floors there are. I’d expect nothing less from the Number 2 hero. You click on the top floor and make your way up. Once the elevator hits the top floor you spot the waiting area and make your  way over

. ~time skip~

The meeting Ground Zero was in went over schedule to say the least. It was currently 2:30 and you were still sitting in the lounge. Mina had even come up for her lunch break to keep you company once she found out the meeting was going over. Maybe I’ll just go with De- your thought was cut off by a door down the hall being opened.

 You quickly stood up and fixed your skirt and looked at who exited the room. You soon recognized them as the Pro Heroes Deku and Ground Zero themselves. They start to walk down the hall towards where you am standing, still in conversation. Once they make it to where you was the green haired man notices in there and turns to you and smiles.

“You’re Y/N, from the Sports Festival right? I’m sorry I wasn't able to make our meeting this morning, as you can see now, something had come up. I do hope to reschedule and talk to you about joining my agency for your internship. You’re very talented with that quirk of yours.” Deku says to you. He then turns back to Ground Zero and says, “I really hope you change your mind Kacchan.”

“I thought I told you to stop calling me that you damn nerd.” Ground Zero glares back at the him at the nickname. Maybe it’s an inside joke? Deku chuckles and rubs the back of his neck.

“Oh yeah, sorry about that Bakugou. I do hope to hear from you though.” He turns away from him and back to you “And you too.” and with that he headed to the elevator. While watching him walk away you hadn’t even realized that the angry man that was once in front of you was no longer there. You look around to find him when you hear

“Oi are you coming or what?” come from the direction of where the two heroes had originally came from. You scramble to grab your stuff from next to couch and rush over to where he was holding open the door. As you walk in you mumble a thank you to which he only replies with “Tsk-” and then go to stand in the middle of the office. It was very spacious with all black furniture and state of the art technology. The office was surrounded with ceiling to floor windows that covered the three walls that lead to outside. A door was off to the left that lead to his rap-around balcony that you could sort of see due to the half open blinds.

 “Are you just going to stand there or are you going to take a seat?” Bakugou says while seating behind his desk, grabbing a file that was put off to the side. You take a seat in the chair in front of his desk, placing your bag on the floor next to your feet. Looking up you can see him going through what you believe is to be your academic file. You take the moment to look at who you could possibly be interning with. He was quite handsome... and by handsome I mean fucking hot. His blond hair was slightly messing from what you could assume was from his prior meeting and was starting to fall in front of his deep crimson eyes. He slightly bits his lip focusing on the paperwork in front of him, those same intense eye darting back and forth. Your eyes start to travel down his torso to see that his black button up had the top few buttons undone. Then to his arms seeing that the fabric on his sleeve is tightly accentuating the muscles trapped inside of them. Hell the whole shirt was tight on him and you can’ t tell if it was because the shirt was a size to small or he was just that built. His hands start flipping through the file and you catch him lick his finger to help turn the page. You shouldn’t find someone flipping a paper this attractive but seeing the way his long fingers curl around the page sends a chill down your spine. You start thinking about the things those hands could probably do, and you press your legs together so that you can try to ignore the warm feeling that was starting to build. I have to be professional! Behind him you could see a discarded tie and a suit jacket that was probably on him at some point of the day. I wonder how intense his last meeting had to be in order for him to start stripping. What would have happened if it had continued? You’re interrupted by your thoughts once again by him speaking.

“So it looks like here that your first year in the Sports Festival you only had made it into the calvary battle, your second year you had only made it passed the first round in the battle tournament and then this year you finally managed to place 2nd. While I will say you’ve improved a lot, how do I know that what you did this year at the Festival wasn’t just a fluke and that you are actually talented enough to be one of my sidekicks?” He places the file down on the table looking up at you with one brow quirked. You pause in shock but shake out of it, not to sure why you were shocked though, he’s the 2nd best hero so of course he’d only accept the best in as his sidekick. You looked down at your lap but quickly brought it up when you heard him clear his throat.

“Well I-I think t-that it shows just how m-much I have improved over my time at UA and h-how much I more I could improve at your a-agency.” you stutter under his intense stare. Get it together! I press my hands together and hold the edge of your skirt trying to calm yourself.

“Yet I’m not the only company you’re interested in interning with am I?” He questions you while standing up from his desk. As he walked around to front of his desk he continued talking, “Your first choice was with that damn nerd. So tell me, why should I take you in if your showing such interest in him?” He sits in front of you on the edge of his desk. You took a deep breath in so that you could get your next sentence out with some form of confidence, even if you had to fake it.

“I actually was originally only interested in trying to get and internship here, as I think that I would be able to develop my quirk and fighting skills better here. But it wouldn’t have been smart to keep my options so limited so I made sure to check out his agency as well, seeing as he’s the Number One-” you quickly got interrupted by a loud slam causing you to let out a squeal.

“Don’t- Fucking- Say- It. It’s bad enough I gotta hear it all over the news and from the idiot himself. I’m not going to be hearing it again and that gonna be your only warning.” Crimson eyes glare into you. You swallow the lump in you throat and squeeze your thighs harder together, suddenly getting very warm. He takes in a deep breath as to calm himself down. He pauses before going to ask his next question. 

“Can you explain your quirk a little bit” he looks back, running his hand through his hair, waiting for you response.

“Oh yeah. My quirk is called Atmokinesis. I’m able to control weather but after some intense training I’m starting to be able to work on the individual elements that go into each type of weather. So far I’m really good with lightning, water and air but I think I struggle most with the raw power behind fire, which is why I thought it’d be really good for me to intern here seeing how good you are with controlling your explosion quirk.” you explain to him and you see him start to smirk at the indirect complement.

“Well you fucking got that right.” he scoffed “What made you want to become a hero?” he asked. It sounding like these where prewritten questions used on everyone who sat in this chair. You laugh a little and respond

“I feel like my reason is the same as most. When I was little I was obsessed with All Might and I always told my parents that I was going to be just like him. They pushed me toward that dream and helped me along the way. Although I will say when All Might had to retire I think is when I made up my mind for sure. I knew that the world was going to need more heroes out there to replace the symbol of peace.” I smile a little thinking back to the fond memories of my childhood. and continue “but then again I guess he’s sorta been replaced huh? Seeing as how Deku has such a similar power to the great hero-”

“I thought I fucking warned you about talking about him” your eyes snap to his crimson ones as you realized what you had said. The anger on his face prevalent from hearing about the status of his rival.

“I-I’m so sorry I-I didn’t mean to I swear I had just forgot about-” 

“Shut up” His voice cuts you off. You look down at my lap hoping to avoid his gaze. I just blew this interview. He leans up from his desk and walks over to your chair.

“Stand up, I’m going to show you something” his voice much deeper than It was just moments before making your knees week. You look up at him in confusion but realize he was probably kicking you out. You stand up, your head hung low as you go to reach for your bag when you’re stopped by his hand grabbing your wrist. You go to look up but when you do he starts leading you toward the door. As you go to start apologizing again he stops you both at a display case that was next to his door. 

“What do you see” He lets go of your wrist and takes a step behind me so that I can get a proper look at the case. 

You look and see a key to the city that is given to each of the top 10 heroes, A few trophies for various achievements and a lot of medals from his time at UA. On the wall next to the case you could see various newspaper clippings from major accomplishments he achieved. Top ten most successful 20 year old's, his first appearance in the newspaper, his first solo debut, and many more including some of his most difficult wins.

“What you see there is the work of a real hero not some god damn wanna be you got that?” you jump as you feel his hot breath against your ear, you shiver as chills cover your arms. You turn around to face him and start backing up when you notice how close we are.

“I’m really sorry sir, I really didn’t mean to bring Deku back up, I had just gotten carried away and I-” you look back when your back hits the wall next to the display case. But your head quickly whips back around when you feel heat in front of you. You let out a gasp as his hands slam on the wall on either side of your head. His head dipping into the crook of your neck.

“You better listen to me now. The only name that’s going to be coming out of those pretty little lips of yours is mine... you got that princess?” your eyes widen when you hear his request. His lips trail along your neck the warm sensation making you whimper. He continues moving around as if looking for something.

“I don't understa-” a moan slips out as he kisses a certain spot on your neck. You feel him smirk against your neck as he found what he wanted. His hands move front the wall, one finding there way to you hip, the other to the door right next to you and you hear it click. He locked it. He moved back up to you ear and growled

“Don’t think I didn’t see you earlier, checking me out and squeezing your thighs, this is probably exactly what you were thinking of, isn’t that right. I want you to tell me what it was that was going through that dirty little mind of yours.” your body shakes and you’re left there speechless, but you try to pull yourself together.

“I was thinking about your h-hands and how your long fingers curve a-and the things you could do with them.” you stutter as you feel his hands travel further down and start to hike up your skirt as you tell his about your lewd thoughts, his hands assaulting your thighs, sliding his rough hands up them toward your now throbbing core. You let out a moan when his thumb rubs against your clothed clit, damp with your own slick.

“Look at you, soaking wet just thinking about me. dirty little slut. I haven't even done anything to you yet you’re all ready for me.” He pushes aside your underwear and runs his finger up your core, gathering it all on his finger. “so fucking wet” he groans against your neck more to himself.

He digs his finger knuckle deep into you causing you to gasp but it’s quickly cut off by his mouth meeting yours. His tongue entering you mouth to prove to you his dominance. He slowly starts pumping his finger in and out, catching you by surprise when you feel his second finger stretch you out. Every time his finger enters you, you can feel him curl it up too hit your spot. A breathy moan leaves your lips as you feel a knot start to build in your core.

“Fu-uck Bakugou” you let out as you feel the tingling sensation start to take over your body, your hands traveling up to his hair so you could have something to grab onto.

“Call me Katsuki” He smirks at you increasing his speed of his assault on you, knowing how close you are. Just as you felt yourself almost come undone he pulls his fingers out making you let out a whine at the loss of contact. You felt so empty and you knew you needed him to fill you up.

“P-please Katsuki I need you” you mewl moving your head to his jaw, kiss down to his neck stopping right underneath his ear. You pause when you hear him let out a groan. You start to lick and nibble at the spot needing to hear that sound come out of him again. “I want to feel you fill me up”

“Fuck that's it, jump” His hand on the back of your thighs. You do as he says and jump, rapping your legs around his hips, his hard on pressed against you. You shuttered at the size of it, even through his pants you could tell just how big it was. You brought your mouth back to meet his as your tongues battle for dominance, this kiss so much more passionate than before.

He walks the two of you over to his desk placing you down on it. Your hands make their way from his hair to his shirt to undo the rest of the buttons on his shirt. You place your hand on his chest feeling his muscles while his hands move up from you thighs to the edge of your shirt. You comply with his silent demand by taking of your shirt while he undoes the clip on your bra causing the garments to fall to ground. He pulls you off the desk.

“Turn around for me” You look him in the eyes, confusion all over your face. “Did I fuckin stutter? Now be a good girl and do as your told.” you immediately turn around, feeling his hands go to the zipper of your skirt pulling down, taking his time to squeeze your ass as he passes it. His hands suddenly leave your body as he whispers in your ear “There you go, close your eyes and don't move okay babygirl.” 

You hear his foot steps leave you and you hear rustling from somewhere in his office. It goes quiet and you were about to open your eyes when a pair of hands grab your wrists and pull them behind your back. You open your eyes as you feel a soft fabric get tied around them. You turn around to see Katsuki wrapping his discarded tie that you saw earlier. Him biting his lip focusing on knotting it tight. You feel him put his hand on your back and push you against his desk. Pressed against your back his breath hits your ear.

“I want to hear you beg for me, I’m going to have you screaming for me to stop. When I’m finished with you, you’re not even going to remember that damn nerd’s name, I can promise you that.”

He roughly pulls down your underwear and goes to remove his own pants and boxers. You hear ruffling of plastic and look back to watch him slide on a condom, slick running down your legs as you get a view for how massive he was. He aligns his tip with your entrance rubbing it up your folds gathering your juice.

“So wet, just for me”  he groans as he pushes himself inside of you. You let out a loud moan as he fills you up, your eyes tearing up as he stretching you out. “F-fuck you’re so tight Y/N”

“P-please Kat-suki move, I-I need more” That aching feeling returning to your core. 

“Ask and you shall receive” He pulls out of you and then slams back into you, only slowly moving at first before picking up his speed. His hips hitting your ass as he fill you out, every thrust making your knees week. All you wanted to do was run his hands through his hair, run them down his back, hold his arms, touch every inch of him, but his tie restricted you adding to your neediness. You whimper as his hand comes down on your ass, a warm sting traveling across your cheek.

“I-I’m getting cl-close, can I please t-touch you?” Barely able to form your sentence due to the pure pleasure overwhelming your body.

“I don’t know if a dirty slut like you deserves it” He lets out an almost animalist growl.

“I promise I’ll behave j-just P-PLEASE” the last part of your sentence coming out louder from him slamming into you hard and stopping.

“Well when you say it like that..” His hand moves to your wrists untying them while still giving you shallow thrusts. You aren’t even able to wrap your head around how he’s still able to keep up such a pace. You’re taken out of your trusts when he flips you over so you can now see his flushed face, hair sticking to his forehead as he stares into your eyes. You are quick to throw your hands into his hair and connect your lips. Tongues fighting for dominance as you pull on his hair at the nape of his neck making him let out a deep moan. He presses you back down against his desk and slams himself back into you. Now it was your turn to let out a moan. You wrap your legs around his waist, allowing his to get deeper in you.

“F-FUCK” He slams into your G-spot hard and you know that at this rate you wont last long. And by the way you clench around him, Katsuki knew that too.

“Oh you like it like that? Fuck- filling you up like this? You take me so well princess, it’s like your pussy is made just for me” He’s kissing your neck desperately wanting to hear you scream out his name.

“Ooh Katsuki I’m-” the intense heat building up in your core becoming almost to much.

“Cum for me baby girl” he purrs into your ear, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive neck. Hearing his deep voice say that sent you over board, Lightning shooting up from your toes to your core, spreading out from there. A loud moan leaves your mouth as euphoria rushes over your body. His trusts start to get sloppy watching you fall apart beneath him.

“F-fuck Y/N” He groans out your name as he comes undone as well, his seed spilling out into the condom, feeling the warmth through the thin plastic.

He pulls out of you as you both attempt to catch your breath. He leans down to you mouth giving you a kiss, much different from earlier sending butterflies to your stomach as you feel the passion in this kiss instead of just lust. He breaks the kiss to remove the piece of plastic and put on his clothes and you do the same. You start fixing your hair as you stand infront of where his desk is flustered by what just happened. You look up, your eyes meeting his crimson ones as he smiles at you. You return a shy smile back at him before looking toward the floor. He walks over to you and lifts your chin up with his finger. A smirk on his face as he says

“Your internship starts on Monday. Don’t be late.”

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

AIGHT Y’ALL I wasn’t tagged but I’m doing this anyways because f u c k  i t

It's the year 2021 and you're obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?

Deadasss weird as fuck, my dude. Like...out of all the things I could’ve predicted happening in our lord’s year 2021, it definitely was NOT getting hyperfixated on a hammy gay ship with a punk and a nerd from a goddamn karate soap opera. And yet...here we are??? I will never understand hyperfixations, my guy. But I’ve met a lot of really cool people in this fandom, so I can’t really complain.

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?

I have never seen a single Karate Kid movie in my entire life. When I was a kid, it looked kinda dumb so I never got into it XD But then I saw my roommate watching Cobra Kai on Youtube Red one day (he has every streaming service known to man) and I was hooked. And...here I am!

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:  

Literally EVERYONE except for Kreese, Yasmine, Kyler, and Tory, sorry stans

Okay but if we gotta pick, Johnny Lawrence is my Problematic Fave. Also I love my boy Daniel, he’s trying his best!!! And Amanda LaRusso, we stan a queen!!!

Among the kids, definitely Miguel, with Demetri as a close second. I also love Sam, Aisha, Moon, and Hawk (pre- and post-Bastardization Arc, anyways XD)!

Favorite ship:  

Take a look at my username and take a WILD FUCKING GUESS lmao Yes it’s Eli/Demetri because DUH, every interaction they have is so fucking gay and Eli fucking saved him!!! And came back to him!!! And betrayed the world’s most terrifying dojo with a WAR CRIMINAL SENSEI all for Demetri!!! And how Demetri was willing to forgive him for everything at the drop of a hat because he always had faith there was still good in his best friend??? That’s TRUE LOVE motherfuckers. Please let them kiss in Season 4. I will sell you all of my limbs. Sam/Miguel is a close second because they’re cute as shit and it’s just so lovely to see two people so unapologetically smitten with each other. They are in LOVE, and I will RIOT if they break up again!!! Keep Sam and Miguel together 2k21!!!

Underrated character:

SAMANTHA LARUSSO!!! The amount of hate my girl gets for acting like a normal teenager and fucking up occasionally JUST like the rest of the cast makes me want to start punching things. She cares SO MUCH about her friends!!! And she loves the shit out of Miguel!!! She hasn’t always been the best friend but you know what??? Neither has Hawk, and we still forgave his ass!!! Also LET HER BE FEMININE but also kick utter ass, my god!!! Femininity should not be synonymous with being weak, y’all! ALSO DEMETRI, like yes, he likes to complain and occasionally run his mouth, but guess what else he likes to do??? Never give up on the love of his life his best friend Eli Moskowitz and refuse to lose faith in him no matter how much of a little shit he’s become, and I for one think that’s very badass of him. Also the way he takes care of Eli pre-Cobra Kai in his own snarky bastard way makes me absolutely Weak and needs more appreciation. Like the dude has charisma and COULD have probably made other friends and left Eli behind if he wanted, but did he??? No, he wants the weepy loser with the lip scar in the polo shirts and dorky sweaters and will protect him as much as his wimpy ass is able!!!

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):  

Among the adults, Daniel/Amanda!!! Like maybe I just don’t watch that much tv, but it seems kinda rare to me to see a happily married hetero couple, and it’s just nice to see a married couple who genuinely love each other and where there’s not like...lingering resentment or some shit. I feel like this ship gets overshadowed by Lawrusso a lot (which like--okay, fair!!! Daniel and Johnny do have a ridiculous amount of chemistry, and the gay undertones are undeniable, so I get it), and it makes me kinda sad. I do love Lawrusso, but I don’t like when Amanda has to get her heart broke for it to happen, you feel? Among the kids, honestly YasMoon. Like I really love the idea of Yasmine trying to better herself because of Moon’s influence on her and because Moon like...inspires her to be a better person, I guess? With their pretty strong friendship, it just makes more sense to me for Yasmine to get a redemption arc through Moon than through Demetri. ALSO girls DO often pull the whole “mean girl” shtick to cover up being closeted lesbians, and Moon IS canonically bi, so it could work!!! I just think this one could be a really interesting Friends to Lovers take, and could make a really nice coming-out arc for Yas. And MoonPiper too, honestly!!! Like they only got 5 seconds of screentime so I understand WHY it’s underrated, but I still love what we DID get and loved that there was a canon gay ship (even if only for 1 scene lmao). I’m really excited to potentially see more of them in Season 4!!! Please, I’m begging!!!

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?

Sweep the Leg because it will always be deeply hilarious to me how Demetri took note of the first move Eli ever used on him and spent presumably weeks perfecting it OUT OF SPITE just to get him back with it at the soccer game MONTHS later. Just goes to show how OBSESSED Demetri is with Eli and their little karate rivalry which is just NOT straight, I’m sorry

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?

There’s something so funny about this pretentious little fuck walking around in fancy suits once he becomes a #SuccessfulBusinessman, and still occasionally trying to do karate in a full-ass suit (take THAT, Tom Cole’s boba!!!) I’m also a big fan of how he looks in his gi with his little headband. Still killing that look as a 40-50-something!!!

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

Tbh I have still never seen a single Karate Kid movie (they took them off of Netflix, RIP), so...I don’t really care if they bring anyone else back??? I’m invested in the characters we already have in the show, I don’t need some rando from the movies to make a cameo to have a good time XD The only character I really wanted them to bring back was Ali, and they already did, so like...I’m good??? That’s all I really needed, I can die in peace now XD

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Basically any fluffy Elimetri scene, but 5 in particular: ~Miguel first meeting Eli and Demetri at the lunch table, and Eli looking at Demetri like he hung every goddamn star in the sky ~Demetri going off at a terrifying, “unhinged” karate sensei on the first day of Cobra Kai because he made fun of Eli’s lip and Demetri is not about that shit ~ELI STEALING DEMETRI’S NACHO AND SMIRKING AT HIM, LIKE EXCUSE ME SIR PLEASE BE A LITTLE LESS HOMOSEXUAL IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ~Eli yanking Demetri onstage during Valley Fest to hold a board, and Demetri being visibly like...extremely turned on when Eli breaks said board ~ELI SAVING DEMETRI DURING THE CHRISTMAS FIGHT, ELI APOLOGIZING, DEMETRI AND ELI KICKING COBRA ASS TOGETHER AKSBDCUWYVCBU

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?

I hope not! He’s kind of a funny meme character to pop up now and again but I don’t think he deserves a serious plotline when there are so many more interesting characters to follow.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?

Miyagi-Do because Cobra Kai would eat me alive. Also I’d probably straight up get stuck and die in that cement mixer, if I even made it that far XD Besides, being salty that your friend who you have a crush on likes martial arts better than you and starting martial arts to impress them but also being too lazy to join anything TOO intense is a Big Mood and I am certainly not speaking from personal experience here, no sirree

What’s your training montage song?

"Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna for a weight-training and bicep-flexing montage, “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons for a more intense punching-and-kicking-shit montage. I don’t know why this is, I just feel it in my heart.

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?

*Briefly panics because I don’t actually watch that much TV and most of the stuff I do watch is fantasy/sci fi shit that absolutely would not work for a CK crossover*

Hmmmm okay but ACTUALLY

You know what would be fucking funny as hell would be an It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossover. Allow me to elaborate: ~The Gang goes to LA on vacation during the height of the Karate Dojo Wars. They literally can get barely anything done without all these goddamn karate-fighting teenagers getting in the way. ~They are all very annoyed by this. Even the most obscure of tourist attractions is eventually intercepted by karate fights. ~Mac tries to join Cobra Kai because he sees all this karate fighting on, and wants to unquestionably prove both his badassery and masculinity. Both Johnny and Kreese are like “Wtf are you doing here? Aren’t you like 30?” ~Mac gets a planet-sized crush on Johnny after all of 5 minutes and endlessly gushes to the gang about him. The gang mercilessly roast him about this and about how much of a pathetic loser with his life together in no way whatsoever Johnny sounds like. They proceed to have exactly 0 self awareness about this. ~The Waitress is in town visiting family or something, and Charlie is stalking her, as per usual. However, every time he’s about to go up and talk to her, a pack of battling Miyagi-Dos and Cobra Kais throwing punches and kicks everywhere blocks his path. One times, Mac is among one of these packs and Charlie is like “???? He didn’t get kicked out of that teen karate dojo yet???” ~Seeing how much the Kids These Days seem to like fighting, Charlie drops by a local high school to try and sell Fight Milk to the kids doing karate. Only Kyler and Brucks buy into it, and subsequently get the entire West Valley High wrestling team sick. Charlie is inevitably arrested, as Counselor Blatt thinks he’s selling the kids drugs. ~Dennis makes a plan to have sex with every hot chick he can in Los Angeles. He meets Ali on a dating app post-divorce, and inevitably tries to bang her. It doesn’t work. ~Frank crashes the rental car, and inevitably the gang ends up at one of Daniel’s dealerships. Dee quickly takes a liking to Daniel and is like “Watch, assholes--Imma homewreck this guy’s marriage.” She starts frequenting the dealerships to attempt to flirt with Daniel, until one day she walks in on him having sex with Johnny in a back room and she’s like “Is that the guy from Mac’s goddamn dojo?!?!” ~Dennis, of course, tries to sleep with Amanda. Amanda is not having it, and rebukes him in the most snarky, Amanda-esque way possible. Dennis is just like “Oh not AGAIN--the women in this goddamn diva city have too high of standards!” ~Later on, the gang is at the beach and Dennis spots the blonde lady he went out on an ill-fate date with, and decides to give it another shot--that is, until he sees her go up and kiss another woman and he’s like “IS THAT THE LADY FROM THE CAR DEALERSHIP??? STUPID-KARATE-KICK-COMMERCIAL’S WIFE?!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.” ~Dee complains to Dennis about her lack of luck getting laid, and Dennis is just like “Oh come ON, is everyone in Los Angeles gay???” Smash cut to Hawk and Demetri having sex, Moon and Piper making out, Bert and Nate holding hands, Chris and Mitch doing oral, and Amanda, Ali, and Carmen having a threesome. ~Frank tries to scam Kreese into buying cheaply-made karate equipment for his dojo. The gang ends up having to leave LA because Kreese is quite literally plotting all of their murders.

For tagging, uuuuhhhhhh @jackonthelongwalk @soe-leo @max-eagle-fang @cc-tinslebee @backawayfromthegay @asphodel-storm do the thing, if y’all haven’t yet!

[1ddotdhq]

🔻Tues 29 Sept ‘20 🐠

After a crazy busy day yesterday, today we get....very little, which makes it an Intern’s choice kinda day! So what do I want to talk about? Well, for one, I want to start out with the fact that after all the uproar and chaos fans caused two weeks ago, Madame Tussauds has decided to keep the boys’ wax figures, and they made sure to add that Niall is more than welcome to go visit them ANYTIME (lol relatable). So...we won? Go team, I guess? 

Harry is on the cover of Hits Magazine Grammy Preview Edition! About his Grammy odds, they say, “Columbia’s Harry Styles, whose smash Fine Line has yielded two giant singles #1 in ‘Adore You’ and ‘Watermelon Sugar’, is widely considered among the strongest contenders for Grammy glory early next year”. AMAZING!! Lots of love for this album, and I can’t wait to read the rest of this article!  And, in a throwback to Harry’s SNL stint, comedian Chris Redd posted a picture of himself and H, captioning it, “I can’t even tell y’all the jokes we made this night so what I will say is we were talking about how y’all asses should vote in this pre-Rona pic and how easy it is. Go to iwillvote.com and make it happen. Watermelon sugar n all that 😂”. Um, yes. Do that. 

We also got some more bits of Liam’s Esquire cover interview, and my favorite quote from it was: “The goal in my life is very simple: to be happy. I know it sounds like a cliche, but it’s really how I feel. [I want to] discover what makes me happy….what makes me want to get out of bed in the mornings”. I want that for you so badly too, my friend. I wish you a world of joy and gentle days ahead. ANYWHO - he also changed his Instagram profile picture to him in the glasses, which knocked me dead, I’m writing this from the great beyond, and he changed his twitter header to a picture of his hands (less my thing, but his tats are awesome). This is something he usually does before dropping a new song - perhaps “Watch Me Get Away” which he registered last week! 

The person who will NOT be giving us any content any time soon is Niall- sad!! He took to Twitter to celebrate “This Town”’s  fourth anniversary (happy birthday!!), adding, “I’ve enjoyed the downtime as of late, as it’s given me a chance to re-evaluate things and live a half normal life for a bit. Hopefully the next stuff I release will be my best yet, whenever it may be. X”. I don’t know what this means for him. Some fans think it marks the end of the HBW era, which was unfortunately and profoundly affected by the pandemic. I hope he enjoys this bit of peace, and comes back with art that he is happy with, proud of, and will be able to market properly, in the face of whatever worldwide events may be happening. However, in a reassurance that he’s not completely gone, he dropped some new merch: a yellow or black Tshirt and hoodie with an upside down pink and blue triangle and Niall inside of it holding his guitar. Who would have thought that Niall would beat Louis to the triangle merch?? 

Zayn, meanwhile, keeps marketing “Better”, sharing some (amazing! gorgeous!) fan art on his Instagram story today. The song is taking the world by storm, if my recommended Spotify playlists are anything to go by! But not only that, Zayn reached #8 of the Billboard Social 50, which ranks the top artists based on social media engagement, and “#BETTER” topped Pandora’s “Top Thumb Hundred” (I...don’t think they thought this name through, but there you go). I’m very happy for him, and I can’t wait to hear what he’s got in store for us - I bet it’s going to be even #better.

[boggirlsummer]

Wet Hot American Summer

August 18 Zoey and I thought we fixed the leak in my tent but we were wrong. I spent the early morning inching away from a puddle that finally pushed me out around 8 am - time to get up anyway. Too rainy to cook or make coffee and I left camp aimlessly. I could barely see anything through the smoke and clouds which threw a wrench in my non-plan to drive around and take photos out the car window. Grand Tetons and Montana and Wyoming were up there on my teenage bucket list (lmao, dream big!), mostly for the landscapes and western vibes and maybe a few cathartic renditions of Wide Open Spaces. I just hiked all summer so I feel like I earned a few days of all-american automobile tourism.

Cozy

Decision fatigue is a ball buster on solo trips (and in life) and sometimes I refuse to change course even when it’s clear that a plan isn’t going to work out. I drove around Tetons alternately listening to the directions and making random navigational decisions, so Google kept yelling at me to make a u-turn. Eventually I got annoyed with both of us and stopped for snacks at the general store. I’ve been making my way through all the kettle chip flavors and so far honey dijon is the best and korean bbq is the worst.

Drove straight through to Yellowstone hoping the storm would let up, but by the time I got there it was 50 degrees with rain expected all afternoon. I thought it would be SUMMER once I left the Bay Area, so all my sweaters and warm jackets are in vacuum sealed bags that I don’t have the space in my car to open. I wasn’t loving the idea of being wet and cold in Yellowstone all night so I talked the campground lady into refunding my site reservation and headed for Big Sky, Montana.

I felt bad leaving without seeing any of the Yellowstone sights so I stopped at Old Faithful on my way out. I knew laughably little about what I was looking at and when a bunch of people started gathering I thought to myself, is this thing gonna explode or something?? And ya turns out that’s the entire point, it shoots a bunch of water and steam into the air every few minutes. I bought a cup of coffee and watched halfheartedly. The only other attraction I know about is the rainbow glory hole and there was so much traffic to park in the lot I said screw it and went on to Montana.

No LTE between Yellowstone and Big Sky and I was without a place to sleep - luckily my sister was available to do some emergency concierge work for me. I eventually found a nice campground near town but the obscene number of bear country warning signs freaked me out. I backtracked to Big Sky to buy a $50 can of bear spray, what a rip. Feeling beat today so I made it up to myself with a bowl of chicken curry ramen and a Sapporo. It was no nugget curry, but it did the job ☺️

Reading the bear spray instructions before bed - you’re supposed to use it once a charging bear is two to three seconds from reaching you. Wtf. I can’t do anything in two seconds. Finished Year of the Monkey at last. Almost fell asleep with a candy wrapper in my pocket, instant death. Also I got my period and I’m worried this is going to attract the bears.

August 19 I broke my own rule. I drove to Bozeman this morning and had a chicken fried steak at the Western Cafe, “The Last Best Cafe.” I had a nice chat with two old guys at the bar, initiated by ME! We talked about my trip so far and books (I was reading Walden Two and one of the guys had Woman in the Window with him, and we agreed that both authors are pretty nuts). Good time all around and then one of them secretly bought my breakfast 🥰 I’ve only ever had creepy men buy me drinks at bars so free CFS with no strings attached was a revelation. My smile lit up the cold dark streets of Bozeman.

Too early for hostel check-in so I killed some time hanging out in a coffee shop and wandering around Main Street. When I’m alone in a new city I usually get on the apps, it’s fun to hang out with a real LOCAL and have an AUTHENTIC experience. I did this on my first night in Sydney last year and my date won $7,000 at a bar raffle he’d been going to every week for three years and then bought us a night’s worth of top shelf shots, bad coke, and dumplings. Obviously I was his good luck charm so I should’ve gotten a cut of that $$$ but whatever… Eventually we went back to his depressing loft outside of the city. It was barely furnished and full of his shitty art and luckily he didn’t have any condoms so I was able to decline sex without feeling guilty (I had condoms of course but didn’t disclose). He tried to fuck me again around 4 am and I was so confused I thought he must have found a condom while I was briefly sleeping. He had not. I snuck out at 6 am and caught the bus back to the city. Not the most restful night but nice to get away from the hostel for a little while. But ya I updated my Hinge location to Bozeman and got hella conservative men swiping on me 🥴 My profile isn’t anything crazy but I don’t think I’m giving off Megyn Kelly vibes. Are they playing some sort of sexual bingo? Are they out to stealth me? Seems sus.

If you are a man on Hinge with a naked photo on your profile I WILL screenshot it and I WILL make a collage of my collection once I have enough material and I WILL sell it as a NFT and I WILL make $0 cuz y’all are freaks. This is the tamest one I’ve got, text me if you want a photo of a naked man covering his junk with a pineapple.

Ooooieee hostel is grungy and subterranean and not the kinda place you want to spend many conscious hours in. I took myself to the movies to escape - another thing I really missed last year. I saw The Night House, which I would describe as an architectural horror? I’ve been thinking about architecture a lot lately, this cool site Zoey sent me has some interesting interviews and stuff. In the movies I ate an entire bag of sour gummy worms and a box of junior mints.

Had a freaky bookstore experience earlier today, not the first time this summer. I originally wrote a longgg paragraph about synchronicity here but I got self conscious and started wondering if hearing other people’s stories about synchronicity is like listening to them talk about their dreams. I personally love talking about dreams (call me and tell me about your crazy dreams!!) but things definitely get lost in translation and sometimes they’re straight boring (like when my old coworkers and I used to dream in Excel, fucckkk). So I get why people find it annoying and here at Bog Girl Summer we can’t afford to alienate any of our readers. All I will say is that I walked into a bookstore today with synchronicity very much on my mind, went to the psychology section to buy a baby Jung text, and there saw a literal sign that said “Staff Pick, Introductory Jung: Synchronicity.” So yes, I bought it. Don’t forget y’all - I have a psychology degree so please don’t come after me about confirmation bias and all that lol. It’s very possible that in this summer of upheaval I’m desperate for some kinda sign that I’m on the right path. Let me have this one 😘

I also bought this postcard which spoke to me because most days I feel like I’m trying to drink out of a firehose

[kriscynical]

Retropalooza 2018

So as already stated, Bree and I went to Retropalooza this weekend and had an absolute blast as always. This was our third year to go, and we love this con to bits. It’s practically in my backyard, only 20 minutes away from my house. It’s big enough to have good guests and a sizable dealer’s room, but still small enough to be fun. I dread the day when that happy medium finally gets tipped because of growth. You always want a con to be successful but... you know. 

As a side note, if the con you are running is for retro gaming and started out as a swap meet, if you’re suddenly going to ban screwdrivers at the door, perhaps you should mention that on your website beforehand? Seeing as how screwdrivers are... you know... the only way to definitely check the authenticity of retro game carts? That way your attendees won’t have to sprint back out to their cars in 10000% humidity in end-of-September-in-Texas heat. Just a suggestion, guys. 

But anyway.

I don’t talk about it much on this blog, but I follow a lot of gaming YouTubers. I’m not as religious about it as some people are, but I enjoy listening to gaming content while I’m working, especially letsplays. Retropalooza always has several YouTubers I follow as guests, which adds to the fun factor. This year’s guests that Bree and I were into were Jirard and Alex of Super Beard Bros and The Completionist, Norman Caruso of The Gaming Historian, James Rolfe of The Angry Video Game Nerd, and Arlo. Every single one of them are super nice, although AVGN being there this year caused a bit of bullshit to happen which I’ll detail in a little bit.

I have a little third party NES/SNES console, the RetroDuo, which I’ve had my favorite YouTubers sign for the last three years, all at this con. It’s usually displayed on one of the bookshelves in my studio. This year’s additions were Arlo and James Rolfe. It’s pretty full now:

This is long because of several photos from meet and greets as well as my Zelda haul from the dealer’s room, so...

Arlo! I just discovered his channel over the spring and this was conveniently the first year for him to be at Retropalooza. His content is really fun, and I always look forward to his reactions and discussions to Nintendo Directs and E3. His reaction to the E3 Metroid Prime 4 teaser reveal in particular was priceless.

I’ve met Norman in years past, so we just went to his panel this year. His panels are usually a live version of a Gaming Historian episode along with some Q&A and a little game show based on information from his videos. His live episode was on Punch-Out. He usually does Jeopardy! as the game format, but this time he changed it up to Who Wants to be a Millionaire?... and the lady he picked out of the audience to participate didn’t know the answer to a single damn question. I don’t know why she even raised her hand, because it wasn’t like he even asked anything difficult in the first few questions! If you watched his videos even once you’d know the answers. Bree and I were frustrated because we probably could have gotten to the million dollar question. >:\

Later in the day was AVGN’s panel, and that’s where the bullshit comes in. From the time we first got to the con on Saturday Bree and I noticed that it was way more crowded than usual, enough to get her anxiety going. AVGN doesn’t make a whole lot of convention appearances, so obviously the uptick in attendance was due to him. The people who run this con know gaming, particularly on YouTube since all of their guests are YouTubers. They should have known AVGN was going to attract hoards of people. Did they prepare for that? Of course not. 

Bree and I go to the panel room he’s scheduled to be in 15 minutes before the previous panel ends, and we get our seats. Jirard’s Completionist panel is scheduled right after AVGN in the same room, so we plan to camp out for a little while. 

Right as the previous panel is ending con staff announces that AVGN has been moved to main events, and everybody exits in one mass trying to get over to main events as quickly as possible. We ended up stuck in a massive line that snaked down the hallway and back, and before we know it it’s 1:15... 15 minutes past when the panel was supposed to start. So now we know that if we get IN to this panel, we’re going to have to miss a good chunk of it because for both of us it’s more important to see Jirard’s panel than AVGN. We’re also afraid that AVGN’s panel running over is just going to decimate Jirard’s numbers. 

Con staff comes back and says there won’t be enough chairs for everyone but there’s basically unlimited standing room, which isn’t great for me or my back. They then ask if anybody has a condition that won’t allow them to stand for an entire panel, and I raise my hand. I tell them I had back surgery a few months ago and they say okay, we’ll get you a chair. Which they did. Once they started letting people in they pulled Bree and I out of line and escorted us to two chairs behind the back row, one for me and one for her since she was with me. 

She proceeds to post this to her Snapchat:

This was what the room looked like when the panel started, at 1:25:

We still can’t believe the con didn’t anticipate this. This was the dealer’s room. Meaning the acoustics sucked ass. We couldn’t understand a single thing that was being asked or answered, nor could most of the people in the back of the room. As a result, several people left within the first 10 minutes (and the overall crowds at the con dropped like a ROCK after that panel was over, thank god!). At about 1:45 we gave up and left, too, to go grab seats for Jirard’s Completionist panel, which worked out well because we got front row. Thankfully the room was mostly full by the time the panel started, too.

The Completionist panel was the best of the weekend that we attended, imo. Bree and I were smiling and laughing through the whole thing because it was just that much fun. He had nothing planned because he’d been in Japan until a couple days before that, so it was just a laid back Q&A. He called on both of us to ask questions, and my question (“Given what you just said about Sleepy Jirard, would you say it’s a cure for Jirard Syndrome?”) got quite a bit of an audience reaction as well as a reaction from him, followed by “That was a good question.” with a laugh after he answered. Bree and I hope we can find video of this panel on YouTube soon.

After his panel we went back to the dealer’s room and found him and Alex at their guest table, they recognized us from years past (“Oh hey, guys!”), we chatted for a bit, took pictures, and I gave both of them some little goodies I’d made based on the Kaizo episodes of Super Beard Bros:

These are buttons Bree wanted of the designs I made. I gave both Alex and Jirard keychains of “Ladies and Gentlemen: The Bullet”, then gave Alex “The Goochy” and Jirard “This is not how I end”. They both liked them a LOT and Alex said he was going to put the bullet on his keys, which made me ridiculously happy. These will be available at next year’s A-Kon. 

Before we left for the day on Saturday we saw that the line for AVGN wasn’t too bad, so we decided to give it a shot for autographs and pictures. Thankfully it only took about ten minutes to get through the line, and even though the con had fucked up his panel royally, James was super nice when we got to meet him.

I didn’t realize he had made that face until I saw the picture afterwords. If I had known, I would have made a face, too, dammit! >:\

On Sunday we brought along my mom so she could 1) see what a retro gaming con was like since she’d only been to anime cons, and 2) see the Beard Bros panel/meet them because I had gotten her into their channel over the summer via the Kaizo videos. I introduced her to them separately since they were each talking to different people, and when I said “I recently got her into Super Beard Bros” both of them independently said “I’m sorry” as a response without having heard the other do so. lol 

I’m posting this picture again because I love it. Y’all can deal with it. You’ve read this far.

I had printed out a shot of the Beard Bros title card so my mom could get it signed, and she did. She said she thoroughly enjoyed herself at the con, and I’m hoping she can come out on Sunday next year, too. She bought an NES cart of Classic Concentration, a game that she and I played together on my NES all the time when I was a kid. I wish they’d bring it back on TV because it was a good game show, dammit. 

My Zelda Haul:

The three game box covers are mounted on 1/2″ foam core and I plan to hang them over the TV in my studio since that’s where all of my retro gaming stuff is set up. The BotW box art is layered 3D cutout in a shadow box frame. The Hylian Shield is a new pillow to add to my gaming chair. Not pictured: a Sheik Amiibo that the seller gave me a good price on after some haggling, and a replacement gold Wii remote to replace the one the batteries destroyed a couple months ago. I got that for a really good price, too, from a different seller. He was selling it as a bundle with Skyward Sword, and I of course didn’t need the game. 

“Will you sell this by itself?”

“I was selling it as a bundle, but sure.”

“How much?”

“What will you offer me?”

“Uh... I dunno? I don’t know what it’s going for online right now.”

Bree said, “I’ll check.” and pulled out her phone. I had only seen it in one game shop here in Arlington for $80 and hadn’t tried looking online yet. She turned her phone to the guy and said “On eBay it’s going for anywhere from $45 to $82.”

So then the guy says to me again, “Okay. So what will you offer me?”

“$50?”

“Cash?”

“Yep.”

“Done.”

Yaaaaaaas.

THIS THING is the crown jewel of my haul and I love it to pieces. Guh. I picked it up on Saturday.

Just LOOK AT IT. I bought it from the same seller as the Sheik Amiibo, and I referred to it as “my baby” for the rest of the day and carried it in front of me in its box quite proudly. I had several people tell me it was badass and that was satisfying. Every time I had to get into my backpack for something I told Bree, “Hold my baby.” before handing it over. 

I think I got him for a great price, too. After reaching a deal on Sheik I asked the guy how much the figure was, and he said $100 but asked what I would offer for it. He’d had it up on eBay but pulled it after a week because it wasn’t selling. I’ve only seen it for $110-120+ online, but I went ahead and tried to haggle some more because why the hell not. I asked if he’d do $80, then he asked if I’d do $90 because he gave me a good deal on Sheik (he really did... $10 off of his asking price which was almost a third total!), and I agreed. He said that made him happy because he’d rather the figure go to me “because it looks like you’ll take care of the box” to which I told him yes, of course, I keep all of my boxes in a safe place, and his buddy said “That’s the way to do it!!”. 

And that’s that. I spent the most money this year of any year before now, but I don’t regret a cent of it. Especially on my baby. Bree and I already can’t wait for next year!

[ulyssessklein]

Plagiarism or Inspiration?

In the age of digital music and with years of loving and learning about the ever evolving electronic music scene, we are now well accustomed to everything we hear not being absolutely original. We love to hear a good cover version, unless they murder the song of course. By the way, “murdering it” is bad and “killing it” is good, in case you didn’t know! We also like to hear tracks that remind us of others, even if it’s subconscious memory. We have also grown extremely accustomed to hearing samples that we recognize taken from other songs, whether that be a vocal sample, a guitar lick or a drum break.

Two recent happenings that I believe could be extremely detrimental to the music industry and the folk who write music within it is the reason behind the introduction and why I write this article. Firstly, Pharrell Williams & Robin Thicke were successfully sued for over $7m by Marvin Gaye’s family for the track “Blurred Lines” ‘copying’ from “Got to Give It Up.”

Secondly, Ed Sheeran is now being sued for his track “Thinking Out Loud,” also by Marvin Gaye’s estate (family) for lifting from his classic hit “Let’s Get It On.”

Gaye’s family obviously quite enjoyed hitting the jackpot with “Blurred Lines” and have garnered an unhealthy taste for it. This could lead to an extremely worrying trend in the music business which would result in creativity being quashed.

Peter Oxendale, who worked the defense for the “Blurred Lines” case said “the songs have different structures, they have different underlying harmonies, they have different vocal melodies and they have entirely different lyrics. In fact, there are no two consecutive notes in the vocal melodies or even the bass lines that occur in the same place for the same duration.”

The defense did concede that the two songs do have a similar vibe however. Right ok, so now we can be sued for writing a song that feels a bit similar to another one! Artists and writers are in serious trouble if that’s the case. It would be understandable and expected if it was blatant plagiarism but neither of these examples are — and it leaves me feeling nervous that what has always been classed as inspiration can now be called Plagiarism. Let’s face it, The Beatles could sue Oasis for 50% of their repertoire.

The court papers in the case against “Thinking Out Loud” states that “the melodic, harmonic, and rhythmic compositions of “Thinking Out Loud” are substantially and/or strikingly similar to the drum composition of “Let’s Get It On.””

So they have a problem with the drum composition being similar! How many court cases would we have had if every ‘estate’ sued for a drum composition?

Well, I’ll try and give you an idea. I’m not talking about ‘strikingly similar’ here, I’m talking about actual, blatant plagiarism.

Let’s start with my personal favorite — and one you’ll probably all know.

Referred to as the “Amen Break,” it has a special place in my heart because it’s used in the beast of a tune “Straight Outa Compton” by NWA.

That’s all it has to have been used in to be a classic but the fact it’s been used in so many popular classics is quite frankly embarrassing for most other breaks. The original recording was by Gregory Sylvester “G. C.” Coleman, performed in the song “Amen, Brother” by funk and soul band The Winston’s in the 60’s.

The song is an instrumental up-tempo version of Jester Hairston’s “Amen,” which he wrote for the Sidney Poitier film Lilies of the Field in 1963. The Winston’s rendition was the B-side of the 45 RPM 7-inch vinyl single “Color Him Father” in 1969 on Metromedia.

Matrononix’s “King of the Beats” used it in 1988. Mr Mixx was the first to dismantle the loop and rearrange the sounds in a different pattern in 2 Live Crew’s “Feel Alright Y’all” in 1988.

This is when it gets even more interesting as it was used by Rock artists as well. Say what!

Oasis used it in their massive track ‘D’You Know What I Mean?’

Nine inch nails used it in “The Perfect Drug.”

It’s in Rammstein’s “Sehnsucht.”

And even Slipknot couldn’t resist its charms for their track “Eyeless.”

Then come really weird one’s like the theme music of Futurama and The Amazing Race.

Yes, you’re right, it’s pretty nuts. You can watch a full history of the break in this 18 min video. Just try to ignore the monotone voice and it’s extremely interesting.

The most interesting part of this drum break’s story is that G. C. Coleman and Richard L. Spencer have never received any royalties or clearance fees for the sample’s usage. Spencer has said that although using the sample is blatant plagiarism, he considers it flattering. That’s the spirit Richard!! Being inspired by others is what music has always been about. They wouldn’t have even had to be as vague as “strikingly similar” with any of these examples. They could just go to court and say “that’s ours” and they’d win!

Probably the most used drum break of all time must be the massive break from “Impeach the President” by The Honey Drippers, which is the spine, soul and even the personality to so many Hip-Hop tracks in its heyday.

DJ Premier used it in Biggie’s “Unbelievable” which is undoubtedly an all-time classic.

Properly old school tracks like the anthem “Top Billing” by Audio Two uses the break for the entire beat of the track, cooked up by the magician Daddy O.

Then there’s De La Soul’s “Ring Ring Ring (Ha Ha Hey)” where a slightly alternative approach was taken by Prince Paul. He took a disco loop from The Whatnauts and laid “Impeach the President” over it to create an entirely different feel.

James Brown’s beats from his tracks have been used thousands of times for decades and it must make J.B.’s drummer, the legendary Clyde Stubblefield the most sampled man in history.

There are so many other drum breaks I could list but I just wanted to touch on vocal samples, another area of plagiarism that the music world would be so much poorer for if the original owners of the samples started getting greedy and suing. Samples such as ‘f-f-f-freeeeesshhh’ used on so many 80’s rap records that it might as well wear a massive gold chain. On the b-side of Fab 5 Freddy’s female version of “Change the Beat,” the last few seconds reveals probably the most sampled sentence in history.

When Grand Mixer DST introduced the world to the art of mixing on Herbie Hancock’s “Rockit” in 1983, he not only revolutionized how the world would view the decks from then on (as an instrument), but he gave the sample a legendary status almost instantly.

The vocal sample “It takes 2 to make the things go right” from the 1972 track “Think (about it)” by Lynn Collins has been used by Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock, Dizzie Rascal, Janet Jackson, De La Soul and Public Enemy, to name a few.

All these tracks have used vibes from music that had already been written and the world would be a lot worse off without them. Just imagine if all these artists had been sued for using these samples; we would have missed out on so many amazing, inspiring tracks and my nights spent dancing in clubs would have been a lot less colourful for sure!

Oxendale is now working with labels and artists on ‘preemptive strikes.’ Advising artists on whether a track they’ve written is too similar to another that (AND instead) has influenced the writing. If he deems they are, he’ll advise a few changes here, a few changes there.

Let’s hope artists and writers can continue to be inspired by the music that inspires us all. Where would we be without George Harrisons “My Sweet Lord”?

Harrison was taken to court by The Chiffons for plagiarising their track “He’s So Fine.”

Although the judge in the case said that the tracks were almost identical, he was only guilty of subconscious plagiarism. Or Sam Smith’s recent smash “Stay with Me.”

Tom Petty didn’t take Sam Smith to court even though the chorus melody is pretty much identical to his track “I Won’t Back Down.” He said “these things happen.” Yes Tom, that’s the spirit!

I’d like to think that had Marvin Gaye been alive he’d have also gone along the “these things happen” avenue, but when it’s the family running the estate things become a bit trickier and maybe greed rears its ugly head a little easier.

Just as The Hollies co-writers Albert Hammond and Mike Hazelwood were given a writing credit on Radiohead’s “Creep” because of the similarity to their track “The Air that I Breathe,” Tom Petty was given a writing credit on “Stay with Me.” A much more sensible way to deal with the issue!

Quite hilariously, Vanilla Ice pointed out that his track “Ice Ice Baby” had one note different to Queen & Bowie’s “Under Pressure.” Let’s face it, Blurred Lines didn’t have any notes that were the same.

Let’s hope that the Gaye family haven’t set the ball rolling for others to claim foul play for music that has vague similarities, in what would be an inspiration crushing precedent for all writers and artists. I truly hope we can all still be inspired without being called a cheat.

Written by Track Spark’s Tim Chapman. Track Spark provide a monthly bundle of music production software. VST plugins, Sample packs, VST instruments, music loops & tutorials in a monthly download.

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