#also I get salty because as a bisexual. I always get told that I should be grateful with any wlw content in dating sims.

[cnl0400]

Sooo... Someone put that post into my dash and—

While I agree that nobody should be forced to write things they don't want, I disagree with the notion that NB/men that play this game should be "grateful for the MC being gender neutral". Like we're dogs and should be grateful by just being seen

GN/Men who play this game are as much the demographic as woman. Even If the game advertises itself as an "otome" (If OBM/NB really fits the label Is another whole discussion tbh), one of the biggest selling points Is that Obey Me MC Is non-gendered so everyone can play. Men/NB people are valid customers and are allowed to feel disapointed when the fandom excludes them

Like, If you don't like men/non-binary people having opinions in how the fandom treats them, just play one of the million otomes that have an exclusive female MC. Take your own advice.

[bisexualsdeservebetter]

Hey, I wanted to share a positive story and a worry. So, first the positive story: A friend of mine, used to label themselves as pan. After I told them, what the problems with the label pan are, they were not very convinced and the discussion didn't go very well. We apologized to each other and after a few months passed, they agreed with my reasoning. They call themselves Bisexual now :>

My worry: I am an illustrator and will be drawing pride icons for commissions most likely. Over the years, I have grown unwilling to draw made up labels that are not necessary. This year I am seriously considering to not accept such commission to not validate these labels. So I guess I can expect some backlash. I already have merch with pride flags, but limited them as these were just a test. But I already have been asked multiple times, if there is a pan option, and it is kind of annoying..

I'm glad to hear that about your friend! That's wonderful!

Also, I've heard of a lot of creators who do pride stuff getting bullied into doing BS labels, Or just doing them because they need the money. Honestly it is your choice, if You don't do pan people will probably get salty about it. Although personally whenever I come across somebody making LGBT flag things and they actually just use LGBT flags I'm always quite excited about it. Ultimately what you create is up to you, and nobody should be allowed to pressure you into making icons with flags that you don't want to use.

[tkc-info]

Confession At Night

OCtober 2021 day 2 - glass

2018

“Did you know that glass is made out of sand?” Oliver asked.

Cal hummed. She wasn’t paying much attention to him, but rather was laying on her back —heedless of how her scalp would be itching with sand for days— with her eyes trained on the sky. Tonight, like most nights, it was almost devoid of stars; yet Cal insisted, like most nights, on checking for her ‘second star to the right’.

“It’s molten at a very high temperature to create a whole new material.” Oliver continued. He was rambling, and knew it.

“Lovely.” Cal murmured noncommittally “That means that if we set this place on— ah, there!”

She clutched his shoulder (not his hoodie; she was wearing that) and yanked him down to the sand. Then, she pointed up at two stars in particular. “‘Second to the right, and straight on till morning’. That, Peter had told Wendy, was the way to Neverland.” she slapped his pectoral “I told you today was the day I’d find it.”

Oliver snorted. His parents had decided to bring them to a beach outing so that they would destress from school. Oliver, of course, knew the trip was but a plan to get him to see whether Cal was Saz, but Cal had proudly declared today would be her lucky day because ‘beaches weren’t all that polluted and shit’.

“I thought the place was called Wonderland.” he said as he propped himself up on his shoulders. Just to annoy Cal.

And indeed, Cal was close to enraged. “Neverland, asshole.” she lightly kicked him “Don’t compare a piece of art to such bloody rubbish.” she groaned, then sat up “Really, I don’t know what kind of crack Lewis Carroll was on when he wrote those books. I finished Alice Through The Looking Glass last week, and it’s all nonsensical. She goes through a mirror and ends up in a world similar to her own, but where giant insects take the train and laws are impossibly alien? Oliver, dude, what does jam tomorrow and jam yesterday but not jam today mean?”

Oliver shrugged. “As if I knew.”

But Cal’s words secretly bothered him. In his current state of tension, he couldn’t help but think of his homeland. Her homeland.

Mirror was a reflection of the only world Cal had ever known. In a metaphorical sense, a thin coat of glass separated her reality and the life she should have lived as Saz. The Kinship was much like the literary world she found so nonsensical: a united nation hidden in the depths of the Earth, twisted conservatism, beings who could pretty much become talking insects, people who could bend reality in unimaginable ways…

Cal stood up and walked to the freezing sea as a familiar guilt enveloped Oliver. There was also a wall of glass standing between his best friend and him. A one-way mirror that showed him everything about her, and her only what he was allowed to show Aboveground.

Heck, Oliver knew more about Cal than Cal herself. He knew what her parents were —had been— the position her aunts and uncles had in The Kinship, the friends that so fervently wished for her safety… and a dozen other secrets she should’ve been entitled to knowing.

Oliver looked at the sand, hesitating momentarily before deciding to go for it.

‘I’m sorry’, he wrote. In Sazla; Oliver may have grown up in Aboveground London, but Sazla still was his native tongue and the one he felt the most comfortable in.

The guilt over lying to Cal had began gnawing at him when he was around eight. At the time, he’d promised himself never to keep non-Saz secrets from her. He’d succeeded. At least for the most part. Recently he’d realised something about himself he needed to tell someone —Cal— but whenever the opportunity to tell his secret to her arose, Oliver always backed down.

Cal came back to him with her legs freezing wet; on her hands, the bottle of iced tea she’d buried underwater a few minutes ago. She plopped down on the sand, opened the bottle and chugged down half its contents. “Tea?” she offered Oliver, who took the bottle but didn’t move to drink from it.

This morning he’d promised himself he’d tell Cal that secret of his. No matter what. Oliver knew he had to tell her or else he’d explode.

“Oliver, what’s wrong?” Cal’s laidback demeanour promptly disappeared as she noticed the change in Oliver. Gingerly, her hand moved to grab his —Oliver noticed she’d began doing that when she wanted to comfort but didn’t have the necessary words.

Oliver squeezed her hand gratefully; closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and said, “I want to tell you something.” he opened his eyes and turned to her “Mind you, I’m irrationally scared of telling you this.”

Cal tensed. Oliver wasn’t allowed to do this, but he reached out to her and willed her shoulders to relax ever so slightly. Using his insignia helped release some of his own tension, and when he next spoke, his voice didn’t sound as scared as he’d feared. “I’m bisexual.”

He studied Cal’s face to see her reaction. At first, she only blinked at him —processing the information— but a second after his confession, she exhaled as if tremendously relieved. She used her free hand to also take Oliver’s, and pressed her forehead to his arm. Oliver could feel her silent laughter.

“Cal?” Oliver asked “Did you hear me? I’m bi.”

“Yes, yes. I did.” Cal drew back and met his eyes, a small smile grazed her lips “I just— Oliver I thought you were going to tell me you’d been diagnosed with something, or were moving to —I don’t know— Gloucestershire.” she smiled at him “But you’re bi. That’s amazing, dude.”

“Really?”

It was as if a part of the weigh he’d been carrying since childhood had been lifted off his shoulders; and if Oliver couldn’t quite walk straight, he now could at least walk on lighter feet.

“Of course it’s amazing.”

It wasn’t only that keeping unnecessary secrets from Cal hurt him. He had needed to tell someone, and to be reassured that his bisexuality was valid. No Saz would ever care about him not being straight, but Oliver lived at the other side of the wall of glass.

He’d heard his classmates say horrible things about queer people, and was terrified of what their reaction to him would be. Clara and Carter Whitaker always told their son not to care about his inferior’s ‘senseless bigotry’, but Oliver had to care. Otherwise he’d become the target of their hatefulness.

“Are you going to come out to everyone?” Cal eventually asked.

A breeze of salty air pulled her hair backwards, allowing Oliver to fully see her face: Cal’s eyes shone with fondness, and something else. Was it…? But no.

“I have to, don’t I?” Oliver shrugged; half achieving the confident tone he’d been going for.

“No.” Cal snorted, but wiggled closer to him “Your bisexuality is yours to share. No one’s entitled to knowing your secrets.”

“I know that. But I want to be out —or at least reach a point where if people don’t know I’m bi, then that’s on them— and talk about boys comfortably.”

Oliver didn’t ask for anything too extravagant, just to be recognised and respected. That wasn’t too hard, was it? His classmates and teachers would surely understand him.

But Cal frowned at him. Oliver thought she’d say something, but the only thing she did was lean against his shoulder silently. “I’ll kill whoever’s homophobic or biphobic to you.” she eventually said.

Oliver snorted. “You’re the best, CC.” he thanked, putting his arm around her shoulders and briefly kissing the top of her head.

“Oh, come on, don’t cover my hair in saliva.” Cal protested, but didn’t move.

“It’s already full of sand. How are you even going to get it off?”

Cal rolled her eyes. “You. I’m helping you dye your hair, you’re helping me wash mine.”

“Hm.”

The two sat in silence, then. Oliver allowed himself a contented smile as he basked in his first moments of being out. This was good, he thought. Just the feeling of being accepted and loved unquestioningly. And Cal had said it was amazing that he was bi. Oliver felt on top of the world.

“Oliver?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for telling me.”

Oliver quirked an eyebrow at her. “Prepare to hear it many more times. ‘I am bisexual’; it sounds good, doesn’t it?”

@oc-growth-and-development @wagnerthedragon @iloveallmyocs @littleturtle95

[kirieshhhka003]

can i have nsfw alphabet for prosciutto if thats fine 😗👉👈

Thank you for your request, my lovely anon💚

Note: in all NSFW alphabets I describe how this character acts during sex with different partners, NOT with someone they love

Warnings: NSFW

Prosciutto NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Prosciutto is very attentive lover, even though he doesn’t want to look like that. He cares about partner’s well-being and does everything he can to make them feel comfortable

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Lips is the body part that attracts Prosciutto the most. He prefers them to be plump and soft, maybe with some bright red lipstick or lip gloss. On himself Prosciutto doesn’t have any particular body part that he likes the most, he spends a lot of time in gym and his whole body looks great

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He produces pretty small amount of sperm, it’s very thick and salty. Prosciutto’s favorite places to cum are partner’s face, mouth or inside of them

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

The whole La Squadra decided to spend an evening at their favorite restaurant, to take their minds off of the work. Everyone was drunk and Prosciutto decided to go outside the restaurant for a smoke. When he was finishing his cigarette Formaggio joined him and they spent about half an hour talking about everything and nothing. One moment they both got silent and just stared at each other. The next second Formaggio was pressing Prosciutto into the wall and massaging his ass while blonde was unbuttoning his shirt. They heard someone’s loud steps and Ghiaccio’s angered voice berating those two for missing for that long. They let each other go and acted like nothing happened

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I think that Prosciutto is in his late 20’s and, of course, he’s experienced. He’s an attractive man, lots of women and men dream about night with blonde. He definitely knows what he’s doing and what he should do to make partner squirm and tremble from overstimulation beneath him

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Nothing too weird, his favorite positions are doggy, cowgirl, missionary and 69. But if partner wants to try something new, Prosciutto doesn’t mind helping them out with that

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Prosciutto is not a big fan of jokes or puns during such an intim moments. He may comment on something to make partner relax and feel more comfortable, but prefers to hear their moans, not a “hilarious” joke their friend told yesterday

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s always clean-shaved down there, and expect the same from his partner. Some interesting intim haircut may work for him, but he prefers no hair. Prosciutto is a blonde, so hair on his whole body is also blonde

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Prosciutto is a passionate lover, but is also very caring. He won’t ever lose his head and hurt his partner in a heat of the moment. Blonde loves to touch, stroke, rub their body almost lovingly, it brings him joy to please somebody

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t jacks off often, he just doesn’t need it. If Prosciutto feels need in someone’s closeness he just orders some hookers that help him out with his little “problem”. But there are moments when he gets bored at home and masturbation is a great way to busy yourself

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Prosciutto’s kinks include: BDSM, domination over him, degrading, face slapping, role play, bondage, anal sex, fingering, blindfold sex and temperature play

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He feels most comfortable somewhere secure, in a place like a hotel room or his house, but he never invites partners to his home. He may even go for outdoor sex, but only if he knows that nobody gonna catch them doing the do

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Prosciutto is bisexual, but mostly prefers women or feminine guys. He has a thing for plump lips and thick thighs. If partner have both - blonde is all for them with a tent in his pants

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Everything related to human body liquids like blood or water sports and including food to sex. Prosciutto doesn’t understand why woul someone eat while fucking? Eating from someone’s body sounds gross to him

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Prefers receiving over giving, but loves when female partners sit on his face while jacking him off. But even though Prosciutto likes penetrative sex more, than oral

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

His pace changes depending on how close he and his partner are to orgasming. When he reaches his high during sex his thrusts from slow and sensual change to fast a rough. He becomes a little bit harsher, biting on partner’s neck, leaving marks and hickeys and then gently kisses and licks all the bruises he left

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are good way to blow off steam after or before hard mission, quick blow job or short fuck helps to clear up thoughts. Prosciutto prefers to take his time in a bedroom, but sometimes quickies are real blessing and give him powers to live this hard day

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Prosciutto has tried out a lot of things and it’s pretty hard to impress him with something. He’s up to almost every idea or kink his partner have and gladly discovers something new

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Usually Prosciutto lasts for three rounds 10-15 minutes each, but it really depends on his partner, blonde can go for the whole night if they want him to

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Prosciutto has a pair of handcuffs, flopper, gag and ton of bondage stuff like ropes and belts. Blonde has a whole collection of lubes, they’re all different color and smell, with cooling effect, some contain aphrodisiac and some are even with fritter

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Blonde doesn’t like to tease his partners, but he loves when they do that to him. Prosciutto loves to feel dominated, to feel like he has no right to choose what to do with his own body. Partner may edge him how hours - it’ll only bring painfully sweet pleasure to blonde male

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Prosciutto is quiet most of the time, bud he gets louder and louder as he reaches his orgasm. Blonde let’s out quiet growls and moans but most of the time his mouth is busy kissing and marking partner’s body and whispered something dirty into their ear

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Prosciutto loves to kiss, for him it’s even better than sex at some point. He’s great at it and definitely knows what he does, his kisses are passionate and sloppy, blonde loves to hear quiet smacking sounds and partner’s soft moans. Prosciutto gets goosebumps from the feeling of soft lips right next to his, from the sweet taste of partner’s lipstick on his tongue

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Blonde is about 6 inches when fully hard, his cock is more on a thinner side, not very veiny, not curved. The tip is very pink, the same size as a shaft and super sensual

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is normal for his age. Prosciutto is not a teenager in his puberty, he knows how to control his libido and doesn’t walk aroun with boner only because someone attractive winked at him

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Prosciutto doesn’t like to sleep after sex, he prefers to spend this sweet time smoking, cuddling and kissing with his partner. Usually it ends up with new sex session, but it’s a whole different story~

Masterlist | Smut Masterlist

[rurifangirl]

Ahdodjdkks finnaly another oc intro post 😙

Name: Eris

Pronouns: They/It/Moon

Gender identity: Agender

Sexuality: Bisexual (Male pref)

Age: Unknown (Belived to be more than a few thousands)

Height: 2.40 cms

Species: Celestial being

Likes: Bubble baths, all types of salty food, birds, drawing w stars (more on that in the other section of moons post ahjsnc)

Dislikes: Being locked up/restrained, cinnamon, having to deal with its past, hard subjects

Personality: Before the events of the story, they were quite more of a dreamer, and a lot of more kind-hearted in the while. As time passes and it gets involved in the story by itself, moons a lil more tired, but still trying their best to be helpful to "worthy" people , for them. They're mainly polite, even to people they've met for a short time ,as a matter of respect.

Magic ability?: They mainly use a staff, and with its usage it can have multiple abilities, despite them being weakened, because of being trapped for the longest time. It can use It either for melee combat, if they wished, or can cast a spell for about 40 seconds maximum, and a recharge of 80 seconds.

They can also use the sphere they have above moons head, and use It for greater power skills, but It consumes a lot more mana than a normal spell would, understandably so.

When they lived fully as a celestial god, It learned how to change their size to their advantage, but rather wouldn't do It, to avoid them being uncomfortable w it.

Some facts/Lore/hcs for it🌕

When they still lived peacefully on their own, Eris had little to nothing to worry about. It only had to follow the rule to not interact with humans, and as such avoid them if not for sacrificial/pray purposes.

One day they were tired of that, so they eventually changed themselves into another form and out of curiosity, went out in the world. It wasn't like they'd expected It to be, and didn't really enjoy It.

After a first delusion, it got back, but somehow managed to get in contact with Naexi, which, since she couldn't go there for the time being, asked them to bring them something from that world. They were in close contacts so, Eris agreed.

As they were adjusting to that world again, they accidentally came in contact w an human man, and after being deemed worthy because he helped them beforhand, they slowly became closer n closer as time went on, and even sneaking out just to meet him. Time passes, n Eris's secret gets found out by a bunch of minor gods. Naexi tried to justify their actions, but since they were a demi-god, she couldn't do much about it.

As a punishment, they were trapped into a mirror in a sort of mirror/like world, and never got to meet again that person, doomed to be alone, for hundreds of years. Well, we wouldn't be here if something didn't happen.

Basically Myst n Kerei stumbled upon that mirror completely by coincidence. Kerei was really skeptical of It and didn't belive Eris's words, but Myst told him that if they could've freed em, mabye it could've helped them on their other journey. He sighed and suggested to go back to his place, so they could've studied it. Time passes n he finds out which spell will help them, and uses it. As a sign of thank you, they join them, even though Eris Is still really weakened from all the time that has passed. And they also want see Naexi again, to prevent any controversy to happen between the two.

AIGHT TIME FOR SHORTER SHIT, I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE IT THAT LONG😭😭

One of their fav things to do back in the days was just, usin stars like they were pencils. N just, have fun with it. It's not like It was illegal, as long as they gave em back.

It also really likes to just, make gifts to people, and did bring to Naexi some dolls she currently has and some dresses w it.

After moon got into their physical form and thanked the dumbasses duo, it immidiately asked if they could've taken a bath. Which they did but in a lake near them.

They tried gettin a lil bird, and actually did end up takin one for a while, but gave it back because it realized they couldn't handle It in their voyage.

Them and Myst do get along pretty well, despite em both being really different. Myst always asks em bout their hair too, but moon absolutely doesn't mind It.

Their hair glows in the dark. Why? Remember the spots on its hair. Those are stars. Or powder of It. So they have to either change form or sleep in a completely other part of the house/place they're stayin at cus It annoys Kerei😭😭😭

They're not as bubbly/energetic as Myst, but they still have those lil moments here n there.

Moon has many tattoos over their body, but they're covered by hair so it's hard to notice em.

Tags undercut:

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @damnfoxx @nadi-117 @dopesaladlady @audre-falrose @purplet1gerx @ahmasmultifandom-deactivated202 @ahmanetsmultifandom (idk If i should still tag ya but ya are in my tag list so :( in case tell me dw!!!)

[howdoyousleep3]

“put you on something new”-- part 5/5

The frat!Steve x jock!Bucky College AU by @the1918​ and @howdoyousleep3​

Read Part 4

warning: internalized homophobia (Steve honey, bisexuality is a thing)

we found it fitting that we write the last part together and we hope you enjoy these 6900 words (can’t make that shit up) of smutty bro smut. 😘

Experiment.

That’s what Bucky had called this. An experiment.

People experiment all the time in college, right? The first time Steve’s frat had made Trash Can Punch, it had been an experiment (one that they didn’t repeat). The first time that he’d made out with a girl with a tongue piercing, it had been— shit, shit-fuck, now he’s imagining Lucky Bucky Barnes with a tongue piercing and—

If Steve does this, it will just be an experiment. It won’t mean that he’s gay. Bucky isn’t gay, after all; he’d just said so, just told Steve very convincingly that he likes to fuck girls and eat them out. And Steve likes girls, is actually quite talented at eating pussy he thinks, so if Bucky isn’t gay and Steve isn’t gay, then…

Then how would Steve putting Bucky’s dick in his mouth be gay?

“Rogers,” Bucky says, breaking Steve’s thoughts, “look at me.”

Steve tries to shake the low-key existential crisis from his brain and looks up at Bucky’s face— which is how he realizes that he hadn’t been looking at Bucky’s face before but had instead been looking at Bucky’s crotch, his open belt, his newly-undone button and zipper and what looks like tight black briefs.

“‘Sup?” Steve says, extremely way too casually, looking at Bucky’s stubbled face and his dark eyes like the other dude isn’t two seconds from whipping his dick out on Steve’s bed.

Bucky looks right at him and asks, “This okay?” and Steve can hear the unspoken implication that if Steve says “no”, Bucky will zip up and buckle up and head out, no harsh feelings.

Steve doesn’t want to say “no”, so he says what he wants to say instead which is—

“Yeah. Yeah, bro. ‘S’all good.”

Bucky’s lips quirk into an amused smile and his pause lasts only a few beats more before he’s hooking his thumbs into his own waistband, holding his hips off the mattress a bit so he can start to work his jeans and briefs down his thighs.

“All good, huh?” he says. “Well, I sure hope so… bro.” And Steve knows that Bucky is teasing him with the last word and why is that so hot? But he doesn’t have any time to think about it because. Because.

Because Bucky’s dick is— shit, it’s nice. It’s thick and veiny and uncut, which Steve thinks is pretty rad. It’s a little bit bigger than Steve’s own cock. In the back of his mind Steve is trying to think if he’s always had opinions about what constitutes a nice dick or if this is new, considering if there might have been some sort of subtle clue hidden in all those times he was watching totally-regular-straight porn and wondering if anyone ever made videos from the chick’s point-of-view.

Bucky Barnes has his really very nice dick out in Steve’s bedroom. He’s on Steve’s bed. It’s exhilarating and new and foreigh but Steve’s mind immediately tries to visit something more familiar, tries to think about what it is he usually does any other time a human being whips their genitals out while sitting on his mattress. He tries to think of what he would do if this were a girl, and if it were a girl Steve would be trying to get her all worked up and feeling a certain kind of way, he’d be putting on smooth music he’d— shit, should he put on some music? Does Bucky like Jack Johnson? Maybe he’s more of a Dave Matthews dude.

“Stop thinkin’, Stevie. C’mere.”

So Steve decides against music. Putting on a suitable playlist would require getting up and finding his phone instead of doing what Bucky is gesturing for him to do, what Steve wants to do, which is to crawl in closer so that’s what is doing and— does Bucky want him to sit in his lap? He’s on his knees and kneeling between Bucky’s thighs right now and trying to figure where his body is supposed to go when Bucky grabs the back of his neck and pulls Steve down for what is easily the most mind-blowing kiss Steve has ever received in his life.

Steve had not considered that giving another dude a suckjob might also include making out with said dude but now that he’s doing it, it really does make a lot of sense. Bucky sucks Steve’s bottom lip into his mouth in a filthy wet way that makes Steve’s groan and Bucky wastes no time using the opportunity to lick into Steve’s mouth. Steve thinks Bucky is almost showing him exactly how he likes to have his dick blown. Steve tries hard to take mental notes. It’s nothing like the shotgun-kiss from earlier because now there’s no much more intent behind it, feels like there is a goal at hand, like Bucky is trying to loosen Steve’s nerves with his tongue and his lips while he gets Steve’s mouth ready to suck his cock.

“Nurgh,” Steve vocalizes, upon Bucky pulling away and leaving Steve’s lungs bereft of oxygen.

Now that Bucky isn’t kissing him anymore Steve realizes that he’s still kneeling awkwardly on the mattress between Bucky’s legs, which means that when he’s looking at Bucky he’s looking down and from this angle Steve can see the dark brown length of his eyelashes, the spit-slick shine of his red lower lip, and below all of that— the proud jut of Bucky’s hard cock where it’s pointed towards his navel, the heavy look of his balls where the waistband of his briefs is tucked under them.

It’s only because Steve is staring downward that he notices Bucky reach a hand out, and before he can consider where that hand is headed it’s cupping the outline of Steve’s very hard cock, grabbing him through his shorts and boxers and drawing a noise from Steve that is so feminine and small it’s embarrassing.

“You ever had another guy’s dick in your hand, Stevie?”

But Steve can’t focus on any embarrassing noises he’s making, not when Bucky is taking Steve’s wrist in a circle of his own fingers and guiding his hand to Bucky’s cock. Steve’s arm goes without protest as he’s shakes his head in response to the question— nope, never jerked another bro off before— and he’s surprised to find how natural it feels to close his hand around the shaft and find the both new and familiar sensation of holding a dick in his hand.

“Oh,” is all Steve says.

Bucky’s cock is warm in his hand and very, very hard. Something inside Steve is immediately flattered by the idea that Bucky is that hard for him and he’s surprising himself with the way he’s preening inwardly at the thought, feeling some bizarre kind of confidence all of a sudden.

Bucky’s hand covers Steve’s own, still immobile where it’s gripping the other dude’s dick. When Bucky closes his fist around it Steve can’t help but admire the way Bucky’s big athlete palms look when overlapping Steve’s. His brain is thinking about how Bucky’s hands must look when they’re covering the broad and textured expanse of a football, but Steve’s not thinking about it for too long because Bucky is sliding their joined hands downward in a way that tugs back Bucky’s foreskin and reveal the wet, purpling tip and—

Huh, Steve thinks, as his belly makes contact with the mattress between Bucky’s thighs. When had Steve’s body decided that his face should be three inches from Bucky’s dick?

“Huh,” Bucky—now above him—echoes. “Look at that. Ain’t nearly as shy as I took you for. Damn, Rogers…”

And then Bucky is using their combined hands to guide his cock outward while he uses his other hand to push down on the back of Steve’s head, and Steve’s mouth opens wide on instinct.

“...I think you are gonna love this.”

Dicks taste salty. It’s the taste of pre-come and Steve knows that part already, because like any other regular dude he’s licked his own slickness from his fingers before. So the taste may not come as a surprise to him but the way his lips want so badly to wrap around the head of Bucky’s cock is, takes Steve a little off-guard, but the hand on the back of his skull feels good and grounding so none of that really bothers him right now.

“Open up— yeah, there ya go. Shit, Steve, feel damn good already.”

Steve…Steve isn’t sure that he’s ever been, like— praised before, at least not for sex stuff. It’s a new experience, and one that makes his own hard dick twitch in his pants and his hips press down into the mattress in search of relief, but he tries to keep his focus on his mouth as he lets it sink down over the velvet-hot shaft between his lips. He does it for what feels like a mile but is probably less than two inches before, oh, the hand on the back of his head is in his hair now and it’s telling him what to do, pulling him back and then pushing him back down until he’s sinking just a little bit further.

“Gotta tuck those teeth away, Rogers. More lip, more—ohh there ya go, yeah, more’a that, shit.”

Steve likes to think he does well with constructive criticism and he suddenly feels a little bit perfect when he listens to Bucky and then adjusts, covers his teeth with his lips the way he’s seen girls do when they blow him. He’s starting to really get why Bucky said he’s got dick-sucking-lips when the pressure on the back of his head increases and he rises to the challenge, trying to take in more but finding too much friction to sink down comfortably any further.

“Here, pull— off, yeah, hold up,” and then Steve hears the absolutely obscene sound of Bucky spitting into his own hand, sees Bucky bring it back down to slather an impressive amount of saliva around the base and give himself a few firm pumps. “There we go, c’mon, back on it. Know you like it.”

Steve’s hips fuck against the mattress a little bit when he hears Bucky talk to him like that, and he listens when the other man urges his to hold the base, to “jerk off what your mouth can’t suck”. He’s thinks he’s almost found a groove when Bucky starts to lay on the praise again, and he realizes that he’s moaning around the dick in his mouth, registers that the vibration of it might actually feel really good for Bucky and Steve’s skin breaks out in goosebumps and the noises of approval his football idol is making.

“There ya go, yeah—gettin’ better with the teeth stuff already, huh?”

And that— shit, Steve is here and he finds that he is fucking living for that shit, doesn’t even care what that means about him because he’s too focused on doubling down his efforts, hand suddenly flying over the base of Bucky’s cock while his mouth tries to impale his skull on it, slurping noises filling the room and—

“Woah, hey! Careful Rogers. Don’t gotta choke yourself on my dick just yet, here. Hang out. Take a breather.”

Steve is furiously disappointed in himself and his gag reflex, embarrassed by the way Bucky had to pull his head back to keep him from aspirating on his own spit when he had just been doing so good. He takes a few steadying breaths, as instructed, looking down at the cock in his hand and glaring at it like it’s an ally that’s suddenly betrayed him. But, no—he reminds himself—this disaster was his own damn fault, and then Steve feels bad. He gives the head of the dick an apologetic lick. It might be a suckle.

The hand in Steve’s hair has softened its grip but it still has his head suspended just a few inches above Bucky’s slobbery erection. The other man pries Steve’s fingers off and replaces the hand with his own, nudges Steve’s head down, says, “gonna jerk myself while you suck on my balls, Rogers, c’mon.”

Steve has apparently reached the point in the night where he no longer has to hear Bucky say everything twice. He can’t remember the last time a girl really played with his nuts but he feels like it’s probably intuitive, knows what he likes himself, feels good about his decision to lave his tongue over Bucky’s balls to get them wet with spit before trying to suck one into his mouth, carefully, because “teeth— uh huh, you know the drill.”

He finds that he takes to liking a little bit of ball worship just as much as he likes having Bucky’s dick on his tongue, likes the way Bucky’s hand urges him to press his face in to fully enjoy the experience. Steve is really feeling himself when Bucky starts to pile on the praise again in that way that gets his dick rutting against mattress again, humping his own bed like a dog with a nice-looking leg

“There ya go, shit. Not gonna say you’re a natural but—fuck yeah— you sure got spirit, dontcha? God damn.”

Steve kind of really likes the lewd sound of Bucky’s hand squelching with the spit covering his own cock. He lets the wet ball fall out of his mouth, plucks a stray hair from his tongue, leans back to admire the sight. Bucky apparently takes his keen interest for what it is because then he’s nudging his dick back towards Steve’s lips with a little bit of cooing, with a, “Mhmm, there it is, c’mon and take it back, fuck.”

Time has definitely started to melt a little, so Steve doesn’t know how long he spends with his mouth once again wrapped around Bucky’s cock— sliding in and out, slipping up and down in a way that he’s actually starting to get pretty great at— when suddenly there are fingertips pressing against the stretched outside of Steve’s lips. Steve has no idea why they’re there but he feels like he should open his mouth a little wider so he does, lets Bucky push those two fingers into Steve’s mouth alongside his cock. Bucky is a good dude about it, tells Steve how good he is for it, how he’s “takin’ it so nice,” waits until they’re drenched with Steve’s spit before sliding them back out.

“C’mere, get—pop your ass up. Like that. Gonna help you out now, okay?”

And Steve is just real fucking good at taking direction by this point, practically a damn solider, so he does as he’s told and gets his knees under himself a little to help lift his ass in the air. Bucky growls, uses the hand that’s still on the back of Steve’s head to press him down some, fucks up into his mouth once like he just can’t help it, and Steve—

—Steve is so good he doesn’t even fucking gag.

“Fuck,” Bucky swears, and Steve can hear the surprised laughter in his voice. “Look at you, you goddamn champ. Shit, fucking proud ‘a you Rogers, here, ass— yeah, c’mon, try’na show you somethin’.”

Bucky has yet to lead Steve astray tonight, has yet to introduce him to anything that Steve did not end up finding really quite agreeable, so he’s not even nervous when Bucky stuffs his hand down the back of Steve’s shorts, over his boxers. He honestly doesn't think twice about any of it until two of Bucky’s fingers are pressing down against Steve’s asshole. The cotton that separates it is apparently thin enough that Steve can immediately feel the tell-tale wet, that tiny bit of slickness that says these two fingers are the ones that were only just in Steve’s mouth.

“God, eager thing like you would just love havin’ couple’a fingers inside’a you. Gettin’ something in your ass always makes suckin’ cock better,” and Steve must have a really done a bang-up job when he was getting those fingers wet because the fabric of his boxers is practically soaked, lets him feel the pads of Bucky’s fingertips against that tense pucker— definitely feels it when Bucky lifts them just a inch and then smacks the tips back down against his hole. “Next time, Rogers.”

Steve— Steve has never even considered that someone playing with his asshole could actually be pleasurable. It makes sense, given that some chicks and gay dudes like to get it up the ass, and Steve probably understood all of that in theory, but in no universe or alternate dimension did Steve ever think that Bucky Barnes rubbing his wet boxers into his asshole while Steve sucked his cock would make him moan like a whore and rut his dick down into the sheets so hard and so fast that it gets the whole bed frame moving.

“Fuckin’ knew it, knew this would get’chu,” Bucky teases, works his fingers in circles twice as fast while he holds Steve’s head down onto his cock and tells him to, “fuck the bed, yeah, wish you were kneelin’ and I could reach down, pump a little pussy toy on your dick.”

It’s that last bit that makes Steve feel like he’s coming already, makes him howl out, but then Bucky pulls his fingers tight in Steve’s hair on just the wrong side of painful and it makes Steve groan and sputter, makes his orgasm back right the fuck up.

He’s irritated about not getting to come but not as much as he’s concerned when Bucky is pulling him off of his cock completely. Steve’s immediate thought is that he’s fucked up. He goes as he’s made to but gives Bucky a panicked look, body trembling a little as he feels the fingers withdraw from his shorts. He makes eye contact with Bucky for the first time since he started blowing him in this dark room and drools out, worried, “‘S not good?”

Before he has even the chance to wipe the back of his hand over his slick mouth Bucky is tugging on said hand, pulling him forward, but forward means—

“C’mere, big guy up and—there ya go, sit right up here, get nice and close.”

That means he has no choice but to slip and bump knees and somehow land in Bucky’s lap, his own thighs looking lithe and slim sitting atop Bucky’s powerhouse ones. The way Bucky just…just moved him where he wanted, just pulled Steve and manhandled him like a chick makes his next exhale come out a little whiny. It clicks in his brain a bit, why ladies want him to be a little rough sometimes with a little slapping or choking, because his gut is molten hot with just one pull and squeeze.

Would he let Bucky choke him, slap him in the face?

He lets out another whine at the thought, akin to a whimper, and Bucky’s hands squeeze tight at his waist, hands slipping under his shirt, before they’re sliding up to cup his jaw.

“Oh baby, s’good so good,” Bucky purrs into his mouth, hips pumping up in slow pulses, physically teasing Steve into joining him. He feels relief, expresses this relief, his hands coming up to grapple at the collar of Bucky’s shirt as the athlete dips his tongue into Steve’s mouth. Steve loves kissing, has always enjoyed handsy makeout sessions as foreplay, enjoys the way he and another person can work together and give and take. He loves how intimate it can be and how wet it can be, the way someone else’s tongue feels against his own, in his mouth, on his lips.

Steve thinks Bucky might have the nicest mouth he’s ever gotten his own on. He’s been with pushy girls, girls who command some of their give and take, but Bucky has a fat bottom lip and knows how to suck on Steve’s tongue and Steve just wants to follow. 

“Y’so good, Stevie, gotta sweet mouth. Can’t wait to keep havin’ you use it on me, gonna get real good at suckin’ cock aren’t ya?” 

He’s—oh he’s—they’re gonna do this again? Steve’s head spins at that thought for so many reasons, all surrounding what this means if he goes to suck dick again or if Bucky is going to do that thing with his fingers on his asshole or—

“Can hear you thinkin’. Don’t like it right now, shouldn’t be thinkin’. Should be squirmin’ and moanin’ and touching,” Bucky mumbles into his mouth, Steve digs Bucky’s mouth, and then Bucky’s hands are leaving his face and running down to his waist, his ass. They feel, oh they feel good, pleasurable. It leaves Steve gasping, rolling his hips but being cognizant of Bucky’s dick out and against his shirt, the sin of some exposed stomach. Bucky’s hands are big, so capable, good for grabbing ass and for catching game-winning interceptions.

Steve is equally impressed with both.

“Shit, Rogers you got yourself quite the peach here, don’t ya? You’ve probably never let anyone put their dick in it n’that’s a worse shame than this mouth not gettin’ one...” 

Maybe Steve should be freaking out about the sudden thought of a dick being inside his ass but he’s distracted because Steve has never had anyone compliment his ass in such a way and he can’t help but feel a little…sweet? Is that what this is? Like he feels when he blushes when he gets a round of high fives from the boys for a sick touchdown pass in flag football or that one time he went an entire round of Team Death Match on Call of Duty without dying and he and his buddies creamed the competition. He’s proud of his ass in the same way in this scenario but this kind of compliment has him a little more breathless, makes him move forward to press their mouths sloppily together. 

“And this waist? Shit, Rogers,” Bucky groans, his hands moving up to knead and squeeze tight at Steve’s sides, “Like a little lady, ain’t ya?” 

Steve shouts. It’s a little noise, aggravatingly a feminine one to tie right into Bucky’s accusation, but the way Bucky’s hands feel almost encircling his entire waist and hearing those words in that gruff voice? Steve feels like he has no choice but to make such a noise. It makes him want Bucky’s dick back in his mouth, makes him want to mouth and slurp at his balls some, makes him want to hear more sweet words even though he literally just got some.  

What the fuck is going on?

Steve doesn’t want to think, doesn’t want to get wrapped up in his head like he so easily can sometimes, especially in Calc class. But he isn’t sitting in Calc right now. He’s sitting in the lap of Lucky Bucky, wiggling, whimpering like a bitch in heat as he practically begs for kisses on the other man’s lips.

“Take your dick out, Stevie, come on.” 

The command is pressed into his lips, against his chin, Bucky giving him kisses and bites—oh god, nibbles—on his jawline as his hands still dig into his sides, his waist. Steve finds himself tilting his head to the left, gives Bucky more room to work with because shit that’s nice, that’s nice. How has he never done this? Has he done this to a girl? Why hasn’t a girl done this to him? 

“Dick, Rogers let’s go. Wanna show you somethin’ else.”

Ignoring the way the back of his neck burns at the command coupled with another tight nip at his ear, his hands leave Bucky’s neck and go for the button and fly of his own shorts. He only has the few seconds he fumbles with his clothing, his waistbands, to focus on the fact that Bucky is about to see his dick, is probably going to touch his dick. He doesn’t know how to feel about his urge to impress the other man, the burn of hoping Bucky likes what he sees.

He’s never cared about whether or not a girl liked his dick; he has always known it’s a crowd pleaser. He’s never felt more pressure to show up than with this crowd of one though. 

The cool air hits his dick for maybe three seconds before it’s engulfed in heat once more and—

Fuck, Bucky is touching his dick. Bucky has his hand on his dick.

“Look at that, Rogers. This dick is as pretty as you are shit, baby.” There’s that word again—baby. He likes that word. He likes the way it sounds in his ears, the way it bounces around his brain like a Beer Pong ball, the way Bucky’s lips look when they purr it out. He likes Bucky calling him something he is so used to referring to women as. 

Bucky’s fingers are different from anything he’s ever felt. They aren’t a girl’s, tentative and slim, and they aren’t quite his own, familiar and albeit a little rough. They are somewhere in between the two, thick and capable yet gentle and firm and it knocks the fucking wind out of Steve’s lungs when Bucky makes a fist and tugs.

“Oh, oh f-fuck,” Steve stutters out, all hot air as he inadvertently presses his forehead to Bucky’s in a jerky movement as he looks down. He is in no way prepared for the way his dick looks like in a dude’s hand, in Bucky’s hand, is also not prepared for the way his everything reacts. 

This shit is dope and Steve thinks that’s an understatement.

Steve doesn’t know if he’s seen anything hotter than this. Bucky’s hands are big but Steve doesn’t quite realize how big they are until he’s got Steve’s dick in his fist. Bucky takes a few strokes, some time, to get acquainted with his cock, much to Steve’s unfamiliar delight, and makes his deepest noise yet when they both watch a drop or seven of his own precome leak from the tip. 

He thinks it’s mortifying, feels a bit like an easy slut, but Bucky marvels, “Ain’t that a sight, goddamn,” and tugs a bit more on his cock. Steve doesn’t say anything in response, almost entirely useless at this point, but he watches as Bucky touches his dick, strokes him off, and it makes his hips twitch, makes him sound like he can’t keep his head above water.

His knees dig hard into the mattress, tries his hardest to not sound like he needs to be resuscitated, but he watches as Bucky opens his palm and gruffs out, “Spit.”  

Spit? Like…spit? Into what? Bucky’s hand? Why would—

“Stick with me, Stevie come on now—Spit. Doesn’t need to be anything aggressive like you see in awful porn; just give me something to work with here.”

Bucky is still as calm as he has been throughout this entire ordeal, this night that feels simultaneously forever but not long enough, but there is an edge to his voice now, a bite to his actions. He’s being patient with Steve but it seems his own dick is at the forefront of his mind now that he’s seen Steve’s, now that he’s sucked Bucky’s cock, now that he’s here in his lap.

Steve’s brain short-circuits the connection that in situations such as this, people tend to get off, tend to make each other come, and that’s what’s happening here, that’s what’s going to happen. Bucky and Steve are going to—

He manages to push a glob of spit from his mouth and into Bucky’s hand, watches it fall and barely hit the football player's palm. Both he and Bucky make a noise, his a whimper as he tries to pump his hips, his dick, and Bucky’s is another one of those damned groans. Steve’s mind runs, spins, tilts and all he can manage to say as Bucky grabs both of their dicks in one hand is—

“You’re gonna make me come.”

Bucky stills.

“You’re gonna—? I’m not—”

“No! No, no you’re—you’re gonna make us come, you’re gonna—” 

Bucky’s hand moves a few seconds later, a bark of laughter bitten into his chin in realization of what Steve had meant and not what he had said. 

“Yeah, Rogers—I’m gonna make us come.” 

Fuck. Fuck, okay yeah. His dick is touching Bucky’s, is encased in a meaty palm and is just fucking pressed up right there against Bucky’s. It’s hot and slick and wet and fuck it’s so good, it’s so fucking good, Steve can’t keep his wits about him. Bucky’s grip is tight, his own spit coating their dicks as if they even needed it, as if Steve wasn’t leaking like a faucet already. 

“Gotta breathe, kid. Breathe,” Bucky whispers in Steve’s ear, his head basically having fallen onto a broad shoulder, eyes still downcast. He hadn’t realized he wasn’t breathing, didn’t want a single thing to take away from everything he is feeling, would rather die than not experience this in the fullest. He heaves in a few hefty breaths, cups his hands unintentionally around the column of Bucky’s throat. 

“Holy shit,” Steve hisses, words going desperate and turning into an almost hysterical groan, one that shakes his chest. Bucky’s fist is slow to move at first, slow sensual pumps, trying to get the hang of jacking off two dicks in one hand, as if Bucky needs practice. His fingers around Bucky’s neck dig into the hair there and fuck, he was right—Bucky’s hair is so fucking soft. It makes Steve wonder what other places on Bucky’s body are soft.

He barely notices Bucky’s other hand, the one not wrapped around both of their dicks, digging into his hip, kneading at his ass. It’s yanking, pulling at Steve’s hip as if Bucky wants him to move some, so he does what feels right and rolls his hips a little. Just like kissing, he feels the two of them work together, give and take to make them both feel so fucking good. This moment is what will pop into Steve’s mind any time he hears the word teamwork. 

“Bring that mouth back over here, c’mon,” Bucky breathes into his jaw but Steve wants to keep watching the other dude’s fist fuck over their dicks, fuck Bucky’s cock is touching his own, shit. Steve’s hips are twitching still, little pumps in time with Bucky’s hand, and he tears his head away and turns blindly with a sad little noise. 

Jesus Christ, Bucky has such a nice mouth. It makes his balls ache (oh god, are their balls touching too?), makes his gut turn, having Bucky’s hand on his dick and his tongue in his mouth. Steve can barely keep up, Bucky’s experience with this whole dude thing glaringly obvious compared to Steve’s own. He keeps his mouth open, keeps it moving, presses his tongue forward to slide against Bucky’s own in a movement that sends sparks down his spine. 

He isn’t sure he’s doing anything right, if Bucky likes kissing him until the brunette is pulling back with something short of a growl. 

“Fuck, Rogers bet you eat pussy like a champ with this mouth.You make ‘em scream with that tongue? Huh?” 

The last thing Steve needed Bucky to bring up in this moment was pussy. His brain doesn’t know what to think about now, split in two entirely opposite directions. All he wants to focus on and think about is the way Bucky’s fist pumps hard over the two of them together, the way he’s a little uncomfortable with how much he digs the sound of his spit on their cocks. But now this? Pussy? Even Bucky saying the word “pussy” has Steve moaning, has his fingers digging into chestnut hair and tugging. 

“Yeah, how could you not love eatin’ pussy? You love it, right?” Steve does. 

“Uh-huh,” Steve whines, nods his head against Bucky’s forehead before smearing his lips messily against his stubbly chin, pulling his eyes up to look at Bucky’s own. The fist around them tightens some more, makes Steve whimper through his teeth. 

“Fuck, you’d look so sweet with your face between a broad’s legs. I’d love to see that, d’love to watch this mouth work a pussy over,” and then Bucky’s licking into his mouth, tongue slipping across his bottom lip, straight up across both lips and Steve can’t help that he thinks about two things: Bucky showing him how he himself eats a pussy but against his own lips and Bucky fucking watching Steve eating a chick out. 

“Ohh,” is all Steve can spout out in response, his hands slipping back down to Bucky’s neck, his chest. Bucky’s fist is moving and he can’t help but look down, he wants to look down (??), wants to see their cocks hot together but wants to keep thinking about Bucky laying in bed with him and a girl. 

“Ah Jesus, Stevie I could take her mouth and she could have yours. Yeah? Wanna see me fuck a girl’s mouth while you make her come like the fuckin’ stud you are? Huh?” Steve doesn’t even need to think. 

“Fuck, fuck, yeah shit...yeah, dude yeah I’d—” 

Steve doesn’t even know what he’s about to say, his knees digging into the mattress with vigor, the headboard smacking against the wall for the second time that night. He’s losing his rhythm and feels like he’s sprinting to a finish line, can’t take his eyes off of Bucky’s steel-blue ones. It must feel like he’s trying to get away, it even feels that hysterical to Steve, because Bucky lurches forward a bit, wraps his spare arm tight around Steve’s waist. 

“Keep her lil’ pussy busy while I fuck her mouth, god, you’d be so sweet like that, wouldn’t you? So sweet for me?” 

“Fuck, uh-huh yeah so fuckin’ sweet, so sweet.” He’d be anything Bucky wanted him to be if he asked. Bucky wants sweet he’s got it; Steve will do it for him. 

“Fuck yeah you would, so sweet for me, baby,” and Bucky’s voice changes, alters, gets a little breathless, hand stutters over their cocks and gets a little messy. Steve wants to toss his head back and shout to the ceiling at hearing Bucky call him “baby” again. He loves it so much, loves being someone else’s baby, loves how it makes him want to blush and kiss Bucky on the cheek. 

Steve Rogers doesn’t even know who he is anymore. 

Bucky’s mouth mashes into his own, his breathing punched out with every roll of Steve’s hips, every downstroke of his hand. He’s panting into Steve’s mouth, heavy and wet, and Steve knows what this is, feels it himself. 

They’re going to come. 

Bucky is going to come and Steve is going to come and they’ll come together and Steve will get to see Bucky’s come and that is not something he ever knew he wanted to see. He thinks Bucky notices it too, makes his own whiny noise that sounds nothing like Steve’s, presses a line of slippery kisses up Steve’s cheek to his ear. 

“Y’think she’d like to sit back and watch me get my mouth on your pussy?”

Steve is going to come. 

“M’gonna—! Oh shit!” 

“Shit yeah, me too come on, come on, Steve lemme see you blow that pretty load all fuckin’ over me.” 

“I’m—oh fuck— ’m gonna nut, Buck I’m—” 

Steve enjoys orgasms. Who doesn’t? He likes the waves of pleasure, tends to be a little loud, enjoys seeing someone else come too, but this orgasm isn’t like anything he’s ever experienced in his life. He almost panics when he feels his balls draw tight (fuck, their balls are still touching), gasps when he gets caught up in that last second before he crashes over that cliff. 

He feels his fingers dig into Bucky’s hair, can tell that Bucky’s mouth is moving against the side of his face, whether it be from something that resembles kisses or from speaking is lost on Steve. He is far too focused on letting himself feel and letting someone be in almost total control of his own orgasm. He can’t stop making noises, ones that sound like he’s choking, is sure he’s saying Bucky’s name, can feel his own fucking come slick up Bucky’s hand even more. 

He thinks Bucky says something about him coming, but like everything else it’s lost on Steve. His hips are still pulsing, as his his cock, hands unable to choose one spot on Bucky’s body to lock onto, manages to look down between their bodies just in time to—

“Fuck yeah—” 

See Bucky come. The noise Steve makes sounds like one that indicates he’s in pain but the only pain he feels is never having let a guy give him a handjob before. He’s almost worried he’s going to come again when he hears the noise Bucky makes, a deep one but one that sounds a little like a sob, one that Steve wants to soothe with a kiss or some shit. Steve’s orgasm is one that is long, so long, one that he gets to enjoy right alongside Bucky. 

“Bucky, god I’m still—fuck.”

The other man chuckles into the hinge of Steve’s jaw in response, a noise a mixture of disbelief and his own pleasure. The arm around his waist gets uncomfortably yet perfectly tight, Bucky taking the opportunity to press his own hips up, to practically lift Steve in pulses as he lets his orgasm take him away a bit. His hand is still moving, still pumping wetly over the two of them, but they are long tugs, ones that milk the two of them together, together. The noises are filthy and wet, just like the ones that push him over the edge when he watches porn.

Bucky’s groans in his ear make his spine tingle, make him tip his head down and look between their bodies. 

Steve has come on his dick. It’s Bucky’s come. Mostly.

This is fine.

The room around them— the spaces beyond Bucky’s mouth and Bucky’s skin— slowly comes back into Steve’s awareness. It is a room. It’s Steve’s room, and he’s in Bucky’s lap. This is his room and it’s the same room where Steve just sucked a dude’s cock and kinda ate his balls too and this— this is the room where Lucky Bucky Barnes called him “sweet” and called him “baby” and those things made Steve feel really, really good and then his personal hero jerked them both off until they came and now Steve is looking down at their come and their softening dicks and realizing that he doesn’t know where his come starts and Bucky’s come ends.

This is. This is fine.

Steve can feel Bucky’s gravelly chuckle before he hears it. The larger man’s arm is still around his waist, still pulling them close, but it starts to loosen up as Bucky’s head tilts back and hits the wall with a thud.

“Chill out, Rogers,” Bucky laughs. “I just made you come like a fire hose. Enjoy the fuckin’ afterglow.”

Steve faintly registers that he must still be a little bit high because he’s reeling but he’s not totally freaking out, all things considered. And Bucky is, just… cool. As ever. Steve should be cool, too. Steve should enjoy the afterglow like Bucky says he should.

“But, uh, hey— not that I’m not really likin’ having you in my lap an’ all, but…”

Steve looks up at Bucky’s face, confused, sees Bucky’s funny little grin and his gesturing glance downwards, follows said glance with his own eyes like he’s going to look down and find literally anything other than two soft cocks and Bucky’s come-coated hand and—

“Oh, shit. Yeah dude, lemme…”

Steve feels like a newborn colt— stumbling, and also holding his open shorts up— when he finally extracts himself from Bucky’s lap and goes to find a towel for them. He wipes off his own dripping dick with one end before handing the towel over to Bucky. Bucky takes it with a roll of his eyes, uses the exact same end of the towel to wipe his hand and his own dick because oh, yeah, that’s both of their come mixed together so who gives a shit.

He’s watching Bucky clean up when it hits him: this was a one-night stand. It’s— it’s Bucky Barnes, for god’s sake. Of course he’s gonna fuck whoever he wants and never see them again. Steve fully intends to sort through all that is implied by the fact that he doesn’t want to be Barnes’s hit-it-and-quit-it but he is one hundred percent positive that he does not want that, wants to hang out with this dude again, preferably in a sexual capacity but he’s open to whatever. 

Steve mentally sorts through how to solve this problem as he sits down on the edge of the mattress. Bucky hasn’t said anything since Steve got up. He doesn’t look uncomfortable; the opposite, actually. Bucky is looking at Steve with an amused quirk to his lips like he knows everything that Steve is thinking and is highly interested in whatever Steve is going to do next.

Right. So. Steve just got handsy with someone he met at a party. He wants to see that someone again. Steve makes up his mind, decides to do what he would do any other time he’s found himself in this situation.

“Hey, uh,” he mumbles, “can—can I get your number.”

find the full fic on Ao3

[weasleypogues]

secrets (k.c)

request: I was wondering if could you do a kiara x maybank! reader where no one knows your bi and that you have a crush kiara but one night when everyone's hanging out and you play a game of truth or dare and everyone finds out & jj accepts you but worries about your guys' father finding out, please?🥺

masterlist

thanks for sending this in, i hope u like it!! :) sorry its kinda long and it took long to get to also :/ 

it wasn’t easy keeping a secret this big. you told yourself plenty of times that your friends and brother were the people you trusted the most and that they should know. however, you also couldn’t come to terms with the fact that if any word got back to your father, it was probably over for you and you could say goodbye to the sick excuse of a home. 

you stayed out of the house with your brother jj as much as possible. this meant crashing at friends’ houses, working long hours, or surfing. as long as you weren’t close to what was once your sweet home, you were fine. a lot of the time, you felt bad overwhelming john b’s house with not only one maybank, but two. plus they needed jj and john b needed their bro time from here and there. this usually leads you to stay at kiara’s house. she was your best friend and you were so thankful for everything she’s done for you and the rest of the pogues.

yes, she was your best friend, but no way in hell would you ever feel confident enough to spill your secret to her. you kept a lock on this secret. and that big chain, lock, and thrown away key was guarding the fact that you are bisexual. somewhere in there was a smaller lock that held the secret that you also crushed on your best friend kiara. you knew deep down in your heart--or just really really hoped--that your friends would not judge you and defriend you because you were bi. 

you kind of convinced yourself that if it wasn’t for your father, that you would have felt confident enough and already verbally told everyone that you were bi. you knew that they would never out your sexuality to anyone else that wasn’t in the friend group, but in the climate of living with luke maybank, you could not take even the smallest of chances.

nevertheless, it was a secret within yourself that you still felt sad that you had to keep this part back. within your own conscious, you embraced your sexuality and but you didn’t feel that saying it outloud was worth the bruises from your father. ignorance is bliss? that’s a debateable statement. because was the bliss reserved for your father and his anger, or for yourself and preventing another drop of blood?

you usually ran to one of the places where you found most of your alone time. it was you and your yellow surfboard against the world out in the waves. sometimes you would ride the waves to distract yourself or let off some steam. there were also other times where you’d swim far out and lay on the board to think in privacy which is ironic because you were completely out in the open. 

one of those times were now. you let the waves rock you back and forth as your legs stradled the board and you laid on your stomach with your eyes closed. most of the time, if you were out there lying on your board, it’s because the internal battle with yourself was getting overwhelming. your brain was getting racked with the idea of just telling your friends because you weren’t being fair with yourself and wanted to tell them the truth, finally. 

a voice quickly snapped you out of that trance, “waves not good enough for your surfboard?” after letting out a small yell of fright, you looked over and saw kie. her brown curls cascaded down her back and shoulders, two beaded necklaces hung from her neck, and she coincidentally wore your favorite yellow bathing suit of hers, because it matched your surfboard so well. your face felt warm at the thought that whenever there was a girls day, she would wear that bathing suit when you guys would surf because you said it was your favorite.

“nah, they’re just fine. just needed to disconnect for a little. y’know. the usual.” you gave kie a soft smile and chuckled as you concluded your sentence. your heart fluttered at the thought that she was very keen on eye contact and you felt like she could basically read your mind because of it. 

her head cocked to the side, trying to read your facial expressions. “wanna talk about it?” you gave her a kind smile and shook your head, taking a deep breath in.

“uhm, i don’t even know if there’s much to talk about. it’s kinda all over the place up there.” you responded, pointing to your head. she put her lips in a straight line and nodded, in understanding.

“wanna hit the waves for a little and than go back to john b’s later with me? wasn’t sure if you were coming or not considering you’ve vacated to the waves instead of answering your phone.” kiara teased you, mirroring your position on the surboard. 

“i’m down for that. beat you to the next wave!” you responded with a headstart, swimming with the tide and preapred yourself for the next wave. as you rode with the current that grew larger and larger, you stood up on your surfboard and rode with the wave as you heard cheering from kie behind you. 

a couple of more successful waves between you and kie were concluded and you two were walking towards dry sand as you and your surfboards were dripping wet. “wanna borrow clothes from mine and crash there tonight if we don’t knock out at john b’s?” kiara inquired, throwing her wet hair into a messy bun and loading her surboard in the trunk of her car with the back seats down. 

“works perfectly for me.” you responded, following her lead with placing your own surfboard back there. you looked down and smiled slightly to yourself that the idea that you never felt like this friendship was one sided. sometimes you felt like you would overstay your welcome or bombard her with your constant presence but she insisted all the time that she enjoyed having you around. after wiping the wet sand from your feet, you hopped in her car and made your way back to her house to get changed.

----------

you and your friends sat around a campfire outside, all a little high but just chilling. 

“soooo....truth or dare? but without the dare?” sarah asked, giggling slighty. you heard an erruptions of groans but chuckled to yourself because of the response. 

“so, just truth?” jj questioned in clairfication. john b rolled his eyes.

“that’s exactly what it is.” he answered which earned a light slap on the shoulder from sarah.

“or we could just sit here high out of our minds and bored like what we were previously doing.” sarah stated, in a higher tone because she knew that everyone would agree anyway.

“eh, fuck it. what else is there to do?” pope said, readjusting his position on the tree. “jj....uhhh.....last lie you told?”

jj groaned and leaned back in deep thought, “can’t believe that’s the best you got....uhm....i told john b that topper was the one who stole his bandana.”

john b shot up quickly, staring directly at jj. “okay, but what’s the truth? because you don’t know how close i was to confronting topper about my lucky bandana.”

“i may have spilt beer and needed something to clean it up with....” jj responded, cowering slightly in his seat. everyone laughed and awaited john b’s answer. you were a little more eager to hear the response considering you were the one that told jj to use the bandana instead of getting in trouble. 

“i’ll beat your ass about it tomorrow, i’m too comfortable right now.” john b said, his head lying in sarah’s lap as she played with his hair lovingly. you couldn’t take your eyes away from them and it brought you back to kie. you just wished you could hold her like that and have her know your feelings. maybe tonight was the night to tell them you are bi? everyone seems relaxed and a little more wiped, so at least it wouldn’t be amped up. but then again, you brother jj sat right across from you and it brought you back to the idea that your dad may find out if the secret left your mouth.

you internally groaned at the fact that whenever you thought of letting people in on your sexuality, it always led you back to the fear of your father finding out. except, you didn’t internally groan but actually groaned outloud and you didn’t realize till everyone’s eyes were on you. you felt your face go hot and gave your best awkward smile.

“i guess (y/n) wants to go next. so (y/n/n)......biggest secret?” john b asked and you felt your heart slightly drop and your hands go sweaty. you opened your mouth but wasn’t sure if you should lie or was this the best opportunity to tell them? it seemed like john b read your mind when asking you this question. you felt your heart rate quicken and didn’t dare look anyone in the eyes.

“i...uh...uhm.” you responded nervously. even though it had been years when you came to the realization you were bisexual and had thought of every which way to tell your best friends in every scenario possible, you were still at a loss for words. fuck. 

you felt tears brim your eyes and you ran both of your hands through your hair, staring at the ground. “woah, (y/n), you don’t have to answer it if it stresses you out so much.” jj told you, glaring at john b who clearly almost gave his little sister a heart attack. you shook your head and looked up at everyone.

“no no, it’s okay. uhm... fuck okay.” you said, feeling like your eyes couldn’t focus on one place because your mind was running at 100 mph. you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. keeping them closed, you continued “it’s now or never. so fuck it. i’ve kept this a secret for long enough...” you felt kiara from next to you grab your hand and reassuringly stroke her thumb back and forth. “i’m bi.”

honestly, you could tell if it had been 3 seconds, minutes, or hours till someone answered. you felt yourself get choked up until you felt a head that belonged to kiara lie itself on your shoulder and a hand squeeze your own. you were confused when you felt salty tears at your lips and finally looked at the rest of the group who all gave you soft and loving eyes.

“you know we’ll love you no matter what, (y/n), right?” pope said, send a small smile your way and crawling from his spot to right next to you and put an arm around your shoulder. you let a couple of more tears fall until a smile came upon your face, nodding.

you looked directly at jj, knowing exaclty what he was thinking because it’s exactly what you were thinking. “we can’t tell dad.” you both said in unison. you chuckled through the tears as jj walked towards you and engulfed you in a hug, kissing the top of your head. thankfully, it wasn’t long until john b and sarah made their way to the hug and everyone silently held each other for a moment.

“okay okay, enough sappiness.” you said, breaking up the hug with a giant smile on your face as you wiped the tears that were still falling from your eyes. your friends chuckled in response. 

“i say this calls for a celebration with s’mores!” sarah announced, pulling john b’s hand towards his house. “kie, find some sticks. pope, make the fire stronger.” 

you stood up, wiping off some dirt from your shorts and made your way closer to the dock in deep thought. even though it was such a clichè term, you felt like a literal weight was lifted off of your shoulders. your best friends finally knew and there wasn’t this side of you that you had to pretend didn’t exist. a familiar hand on your shoulder ripped you from your thoughts as your brother came into your view.

“i love you, (y/n). to the moon and back. i don’t want you to have to hold any part of yourself back from who you really are. but, i hate to say it. that excludes dad. i just can’t see you get hurt and it breaks my heart to have to ask you this.” your brother said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and looking out into the water as well. you took a deep breath and let your head lie on his shoulder.

“i know. i kinda expected this. but at least i don’t have to hide it from you guys now.” you responded, crossing your arms over your chest and letting your shoulders relax. again, jj kissed the top of your forehead but you two were interrupted when you heard footsteps walk on the dock behind you. you saw kie walking towards you two slowly and give you a small, kind smile. 

“can i steal her for a second?” kiara asked jj, fiddling with her fingers. jj nodded and pulled away from you.

“‘she’s all yours.” jj said. i wish. jj started walking back towards the camp fire to help pope with the failing fire as kiara pulled you in for a hug. you took in her scent that was a mix of the ocean and her rose perfume. 

“i’m so proud of you, (y/n).” she muttered into your hair and you squeezed her a little harder. you both pulled away slowly and you immediately looked into her beautiful brown eyes, your mouth slightly parted. and as if this were a romance movie, you glanced down at her lips as kiara couldn’t tear her eyes away from yours. and thank god she made the first move. kiara slowly leaned into kiss you and you moved in yourself. 

your hands moved to lightly sit on her waist and her hands cupped your face, as you two deepend the kiss. it wasn’t long until the two of you pulled apart, slightly out of breath. a smile so wide made it’s way onto your face as you gazed into her eyes.

“you don’t know how long i’ve been wanting to do that.” kiara said, chuckling and letting her hands drop to her side. 

“you? really? it’s all i keep fucking thinking about.” you said, pulling her in for a second kiss.

so maybe there was a second secret now to tell the rest of your friends that had already made their way back to the campfire. 

[advena87]

Kaer Morhen shenanigans (but mostly Lambert’s) part 9

Here is: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 and Daily Lambert

also Keira & Lambert’s love story, Aiden & Lambert’s love story and… this.

This time I will give you tired Papa Vesemir and bring closer the relationship of Berengar and Lambert as the oldest and youngest brother (don't judge me, I love both of these salty&bitter witchers).

this one is dedicated to @queenxxxsupreme

.

Vesemir: I hope you're not doing anything foolish.

Lambert: I hope you're not hoping to hard.

Vesemir: Minus 5 points

Lambert: What?

Vesemir: I began to score your behavior. When you're on 100 points, I'll make you a witcher.

Lambert: Cool, whats my score?

Vesemir: -1298

***

Lambert: Do you think sand is called 'sand' because it's in between the sea and land?

Berengar: Lambert, it's fucking 3 am. Can we please just go to sleep?

*silence*

Lambert: *starts laughing for no reason*

*Geralt and Eskel start laughing*

Berengar: Why are you all like this?

Lambert: Can I ask you a weird question?

Berengar: Oh fuck, here we go again.

Lambert: Don’t you think “DO NOT TOUCH” is one of the scariest things to read in Braille?

Berengar: Okay, what the HELL goes on in your head?

***

Eskel: Who knew getting in trouble would be so hard?

Berengar: I gotta give you credit, Lambert. You make it look easy.

Lambert: Years of practice.

***

Lambert: I saved your life! Twice!

Geralt: Because you put it in danger! Twice!

***

Lambert: Sorry I'm late.

Eskel: What happened?

Lambert: Nothing happened. I just didn't want to come.

***

Berengar: What's this on your search history?

Lambert: Porn?

Berengar: No, no, above that.

Lambert:...

Lambert: Tutorial how to boil water...

Berengar: You fucking moron.

***

Eskel: Has your dream always been raising a new generation of witchers?

Vesemir: It doesn’t really matter now, my dreams were shattered years ago.

Eskel: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. How many years ago?

Vesemir: How old is Lambert again?

***

Geralt: Lambert, we decided that if Vesemir's ever in a coma, you're the one who has to decide to pull the plug.

Lambert: Pull.

Geralt & Eskel: ...

Berengar: See? I told you he would do his job.

***

Eskel: Do you believe me?

Vesemir: Eskel, you’re the last good person on this planet. I’d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

Geralt: Oh my god, that's enough! Vesemir, why do you always favor Eskel?

Vesemir: I will explain it to you by example. Tell me boys, what do you consider your best quality?

Eskel: I'm a real people person.

Berengar: I don't answer stupid questions.

Lambert: I can speak bullshit.

Geralt: My profile. Oh, and I guess my butt, too.

Vesemir: …

Vesemir, sighing: So next question: where do you see yourself in five years?

Eskel: On the Path

Geralt: Brothel.

Berengar: Dead.

Lambert: Prison.

Vesemir: And you have the audacity to ask me why Eskel is my favorite?

***

Vesemir: Berengar, for the last time, when someone threatens to kill you, the correct response is not, ‘Then do it, pussy.’

Berengar: Old man, with all due respect, I’m gonna completely ignore everything you just said.

***

Eskel: Lambert, are you sure this is safe?

Lambert: I never said that.

Lambert: But, you know what they say - go big or go home.

Eskel: For once, please, I’m begging you, go home.

Lambert: I’m going big.

***

Lambert: Geralt, what's the signal for "Vesemir’s coming?"

Geralt: Uh... Dippity-doo.

Lambert: DIPPITY-DOO!

***

Lambert: So, we go inside, beat the crap out of them and-

Geralt: I don't know, don't you think we should stop using violence as a way to solve our problems?

Lambert: ...

Geralt: ...

*both burst out laughing*

Lambert: Oh my God, Geralt. Don't scare me like that. For a moment I thought you were actually serious.

Geralt: *still laughing* Yeah, sorry.

***

Vesemir, holding up two photos: Here are two pictures. One is your room, the other one is a garbage dump. Can you guess which is which?

Lambert, pointing at one photo: That one's the dump?

Vesemir, slamming photos on table: They're BOTH your room!

***

Berengar: Everyone has a gay ‘cousin’ in family.

Lambert: I don't have a gay cousin.

Berengar: I'm gonna give you a minute to think about that.

Lambert: *gasp* I AM the gay cousin!

Lambert: But wait.

Lambert: I’ve been thinking…

Berengar: That sounds dangerous, but continue.

Lambert: What's your sexuality?

Berengar: Money.

***

Vesemir: So Lambert is gay-

Lambert: Bisexual.

Vesemir: -Eskel likes goats-

Eskel: Succubi.

Vesemir: -and Berengar is dead inside.

Berengar: Well, that’s true, but it's not related to my sexuality, old man.

Vesemir: So Geralt, tell me please, do you have any lady you like?

Geralt: Oh, no, I just like to date around.

Lambert: *coughs* Slut! *coughs*

Berengar: Bless you :>

Lambert: Thanks :>

Vesemir: ...

***

Vesemir: How could you do this?

Lambert: I don't know. It's like bad things always happen to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Vesemi: Lambert, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass!

Berengar: Lambert, you're like an Alzheimer's victim in a whorehouse.

Vesemir: What?

Lambert: Excuse me, what the fuck?

Berengar: You're constantly surprised that you've been screwed and you don't want to pay for it.

Vesemir: It's a vulgar analogy but surprisingly accurate.

***

Eskel: You know, it wouldn't kill you to talk to Vesemir once in a while.

Lambert: We don't know that.

Berengar: Lambert, you can't quit being related to somebody. Believe me, I've tried. But I also wish there were a better way to deal with Vesemir.

Lambert: There is, but we're both too pretty for jail.

***

Vesemir: From now on we have a no-swearing policy in Kaer Morhen. You will have to pay for every swearword.

Lambert: Seriously, Vesemir, what the fuck?

Vesemir: Aaand you have to put a oren in the swear jar. You said "fuck."

Lambert: ...

Lambert: Tell you what... here's twenty. That should cover me until lunch.

Vesemir: Lunch is in half an hour! And you have to follow the rules like everyone else!

Lambert: Berengar, can you get me out of this shit?

Berengar: That depends. Are you willing to live in Zerrikania for a few years?

Lambert: Yeá.

***

Geralt: OK, I don't mind the good-natured brotherly punching, but you didn’t have to twist my nipples.

Lambert: You're lucky I didn't rip them off and feed them to you!

***

Vesemir, about Lambert: Look at him. How is it that he can kill eight people in a minute with four sword blows, but he can't pee without hitting the shower curtain?

Berengar: Fortunately, killing is a job skill and peeing is not.

Lambert, laughing: Dude, I love you!

Vesemir: How did you come to be his authority?

Berengar: I’m depressed, demotivated, bitter pessimist, without hope and prospects, but even I see something good in him. Unlike you. Do the math, old man. We are what you have made us.

Vesemir: Excuse me, I didn't hear any complaints when I was raising you when you’re kid.

Berengar: Really, the teenage drinking and constant running away wasn't a slight tipoff?

Vesemir: Oh, you were just a little drama queen, Berengar. And let's not forget, you always came back.

Berengar: Kinda hard to get steady work when you're nine.

Lambert, sobbing:  Dude, I love you!

***

Sometimes it stops being funny. It's not like I think Vesemir was a bad father to them deliberately, but if we think about what homes these kids came from, that they were forced to become witchers, that they were mainly brutally trained and subjected to Trials (which were extremely difficult and painful. It’s pure trauma), it's hard to talk about happy childhood. I'm afraid there was pathology in Kaer Morhen. These children were raised by witchers who focused only on making killing machines from them. Looking at Berengar and Lambert, we can see what wounds he left on them. Geralt is also hard to call a ray of sunshine. I believe Vesemir loved these boys, looked after them as much as he could, but I can't believe he was a good father. How was he supposed to be, how could he know, since he was shaped in the same way. I think we can use the term Adult Children of Witchers here.

.

[suushidragon]

I've been drawling alot of girl characters from WOF (except for Orca) and I decided, hey, I should probably give some love to the boys! And I did! Here is Qibil and Umber! And yes I know that Qibil is 5 and Umber is 7. Their relationship starts 4 years after Jade Academy! Just wanted to say that because I do not support minors getting together with adults. If you do not like my headcannons that's alright! Just please do not harass me or others for our opinions! Also if you do not support the LGBTQ+ or Pride then please do not follow me as I am part of the LGBTQ+. --- Qibil's Design - Mostly desaturated yellows with a gradient of white on his belly. I did this to give him a more pale design. I also headcanoon that Qibil has some bleached scale blood in him, making him stand out against the darker Sandwings. (Bleached scales are Sandwings with almost no pigment what so ever) - He has no markings but he has gold freckles all over his face, giving him a almost sunkissed look. - Qibil is actually very tall for Sandwings, he dwafts his gramps but uh, yeah his gramps in still intimidating as FUCK - Qibil and Thorn are very close before Qibil is rejected by Moon. Qibil looks up to his adopted Mom and hopes to become as strong and as sense able as her. Thorn has also taught him the importance of caring for those who are sick and down. And to protect those who cannot protect themselves. This sparks Qibil's hobby of taking in sick and wounded animals and releasing them back after helping them. Although he is taken aback from Thorn's colorful vocabulary and swearing. - Qibil did have a huge crush on Moon, but after Moon gets into a relationship with Kinkajou, Qibil feels betrayed. He leaves and travels back to Thorn's stronghold and becomes a bit more snappier and rude towards most dragons at this time. He also holds his emotions from Thorn, even though she tries her best for him to open up at this time. After about 4 years in the desert he meets Umber. And these fuzzy feelings come back...Oh no. - Qibil has a tough time with his feelings for Umber. He wants to have a relationship and feels quite lonely after pushing so many dragons away in the past 4 years and becoming bitter. But also, he's so afraid of rejection. After he finally opens up to Thorn about his emotions she slaps him with some love. (She doesn't actually slap him tho). And Thorn tells him that life is all about the good and the bad and looking at the bad all the time isn't helpful and she encourages him to talk to Umber about his emotions and to open up with dragons more. - Well after opening up to Umber, they become a couple! - Qibil loves Umber and they spend their time together walking around the stronghold talking about hobbies, cuddling on cold nights together as they look up at the stars, catching and taking care of wounded and sick animals in the desert. - Qibil nicknamed Umber as 'Cookie' bc of his dark freckles making him look like a chocolate cookie. - Qibil has a knact for baking and makes Umber a whole bunch of yummy bake goods. - Qibil is Bisexual! I honestly was never really into Moonbli or Winterwatcher so uh yeah I think Qibli and Umber are cute. But they do start their relationship later on when their both adults and such. Also I've always found Qibil's relationship with Thorn so FREAKING wholesome. Thorn is like the best mom tbh. Umber's Design - I used the color, well Umber, as his base coat and then stimmed the rest of the colors are lighter or darker than Umber. - Umber has dark brown freckles and he looks like a chocolate chip cookie. - Umber is chumbi and very short. He is often picked on by it from his siblings and Qibil for his short, chubby nature. But Umber doesn't mind it as he knows their joking although, when random dragons talk about his height he can get a BIT defensive. - Although he loves all his siblings with all his heart, Umber felt sincerely hurt after Sora set off the dragonflame bomb. So he decided to keep her away from any other dragon to keep her safe and everyone else safe. Although Umber slowly felt over the years of hiding in small towns and moving every couple of months that his life had been taken away. And soon, after the 4 years of running and hiding, he was done. He told Sora that he couldn't keep doing this over and over again and that he was going to go back and try to find out who he was. Sora felt betrayed and was angered that her brother would leave her, but after realizing that she had been on the run for 4 years that she should probably seperate from her family for their own safety. And so Sora and Umber part, Umber leaves to find out about himself and meet his siblings and Sora goes farther into hiding. No one knows where Sora is at this time. - While on his travels Umber bumbs into Qibil at the Sanctuary. Umber is very kind and seems rather flustered when he first meets Qibil although he pushes these feelings back while having conversations with Qibil. But after some time, he begins to like him but decides to hide his feelings for Qibil. Espically when Umber wants to see his other siblings he thinks that maybe he should worry about relation ships later. - But right before Umber was just about to leave Sanctuary Qibil speaks to him and opens up on his feelings and well, he accepts. - After the two get together Umber and Qibil travel back to the Mud Kingdom to meet his siblings and their all happy and super excited to see them. Umber tells his siblings and Qibil stories of hiding and dark times. - After spending so much time with his siblings he decides to go back to the Sand Kingdom with Qibil to live their years together, although they make many trips back to the Mud Kingdom to give Umber's siblings gifts and just talk about life. - Umber and Qibil have a small shack close to Thorn's Stronghold and they live together - Umber makes Qibil jewelry and he also sells them at Sancutary so their able to have supplies for food and also materials to help creatures. - Umber is really big on affection and showers Qibil with complements, kisses, nuzzles, headbutts and more. - Umber is gay! Honestly I LOVE Umber but man I got really salty when he followed Sora when she went into hiding. Obviously he would do this because Umber is SUCH a nice, kind baby. But I felt robbed of learning more about it. Smh. --- *Please do not talk to me about drama in the fandoms I make art in. I can't handle with drama to well.* *You can use my headcannons, and you do not need to credit me for headcannons* *You can use my designs but you must credit me for my designs* --- *Please do not talk to me about drama in the fandoms I make art in. I can't handle with drama to well.* *You can use my headcannons, and you do not need to credit me for headcannons* *You can use my designs but you must credit me for my designs*

My DA: https://www.deviantart.com/meat-monster My Toyhouse: toyhou.se/Meat-Monster My Tumblr: Your Here My Amino: aminoapps.com/u/IamMeat-Monste… My Redbubble: www.redbubble.com/people/Meat-…

[petrichorblue94]

1) Ahahah don't worry I actually like long answers and I want to apologize because I will probably divide this in more asks. I understand why you don't like the Guinevere of the legends but she probably couldn't just leave Arthur because of the time period, I don't think that divorce was a thing in a time when women were seen as objects and Lancelot and Guinevere are like symbols for the courtly love genre that was all about adultery-

2)(it was about erotic love and it wasn't perceived as something that could be found in marriage). Considering the fact that almost in every piece of contemporary media there is a love triangle nothing can surprise me.- 

3)But I wouldn't like it if they just turn Lancelot's redemption arc in some sort of teenage love story with Nimue, I hope that they will make it more psychological and not "oh they are hot and they should be together" like most of the Nimulot shippers write, honestly the way most of them are trying to make everything in this fandom about a relationship that is not happening yet is really annoying and kinda morbid (I don't even know if this word exists, it makes sense in my language though). -

4)Someone suggested that Lancelot was abused and he needs a soft partner by his side but is the Nimue that we know now the right person? She has her own traumas and problems to deal with. I think that Lancelot needs someone strong, someone wise and who has seen more world than Nimue (because she still has a lot of personal growth in front of her) someone that can carry his pain with him, not a teenager with a sword-

5)(teenage heroine is the word that was used to describe her in all the plots that I found so it's not just me being salty, it's a fact). Lesbian Red Spear would be EPIC and I hope that my girl Pym is bisexual (too much chaotic energy, I recognize a colleague when I see one)

No worries! 

I think that in this version where ‘the sword chooses a queen’ and Guinevere is a biking pirate leader, she could definitely leave Arthur if she wanted. 

I still don’t like the idea of Lancelot and Guinevere despite their circumstances in the legends, sorry. Infidelity is always something I’ve despised mainly because the reason why I haven’t seen my dad since I was a kid is that he had a mistress, married her and then when she got pregnant she made him choose between me and her and their daughter... so one day he just called my mum and told her that he won’t be keeping contact with me anymore. So the fact that Guinevere ran away with Lancelot, a married man with a kid, and that she herself was also married, is inexcusable in my eyes. And I don’t give a damn if there were no divorces in the past (well, there were in the Viking culture if I recall correctly). 

I mean, divorce is the world’s best invention because so many people can leave their toxic/abusive spouses, or if they just fall out of love with them. 

I’ve always considered Tristan and Iseult my personal epitome of courtly love mainly because she never wanted to be married to her husband (all my knowledge about them is from the James Franco movie though). 

(3) I also don’t want Lancelot’s redemption arc to be so closely associated with Nimue. He’s his own person and he’s making a progress without any romance whatsoever. I do think she’ll be a key part in his arc because they’re so closely connected in the legends (she’s the lady of the lake and he’s Lancelot of the Lake and she made him who he is). 

But it’s Netflix and they already made the romance department of the show feel so YA with the whole unnecessary Nimue x Arthur subplot. So I won’t be surprised if they fail in executing Lancelot’s redemption arc correctly. 

I think most of us nimulots ship them because Nimue’s initially pure and soft and gets hardened by circumstances and Lancelot’s corrupted and hard but he gets ‘softened’. Their parallels are so strong. And basically, many of us crave the tension that can be felt between these two characters who haven’t even talked to each other yet. 

At the end of the day, we all have different romantic cravings, so to say. And many girls usually base their OTP on the girl we identify with, with the guy we want to bang the most. So I guess that nimulots feel like Nimue is much easier to relate to than Guinevere. 

(4) Nimue and Lancelot have many parallels and while she’s also traumatised, that’s one of the reasons we ship them. She’ll understand him, she won’t just mother him and tell him something wise and to toughen up when he feels broken, she’ll be able to tell him “I know how you feel. You’re not alone.”  And I don’t think that Guinevere would ever be able to get him on that level, even if she’s older than Nimue.

I don’t think Lancelot needs someone to carry the pain with him, he’s not some weak man who needs a woman to make him better, he just needs understanding and he needs to feel like he has atoned and he’s alright with God again. And that’s his own journey, no lover should be involved in it. I really hope they won’t butcher that but they probably will. Or maybe it will be just him and Percival throughout the series. 

The interesting part of the whole Nimulot ship however, is that Nimue has already loved someone who’s murdered innocent people when he was corrupted - her father, Merlin. Now the Merlin in the legends hadn’t done things like that and the moment I saw that her dad was so similar to the Weeping Monk and that he said that he had ‘many different lives‘ and Nimue forgave him, I knew that they were building the bridge to Nimulot.

(5) Lesbian Red Spear would indeed be epic because she (hopefully) won’t be in any love triangles and will just fuck off to explore the world with Pym (and yesss, bisexual Pym is totally canon) or maybe Morgana. Who knows, maybe instead of the brother, she’ll go for the sister haha. But with those sparks that flew between her and Arthur in the final episode, I doubt that. There’s always fanfiction though! 

[fvckyouimaprophet]

Salty Asks! 1, 2, 5, 11, 19, and 22! Am I supposed to send you a fandom with these? Idk. Pick whichever one you feel like talking about!

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Harry Potter: Dramione. I’m aware they basically Drarry but heterosexual, but they nonetheless rub me the wrong way, and I feel like so many of the fics involving them have Draco using literal slurs! Also, Harmony because they work really well as friends. They moment when they dance to O Children by Nick Cave is such a pure friendship moment.

Glee: Brittana. Brittany was the equivalent of a child, so it just always felt very weird to me. I feel like they wanted her to be quirky, but she just came across as stuck at six years old, and yikes.

Riverdale: Barchie. I’m sorry. I just find them really boring. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Star Wars: Reylo. TROS just didn't need to happen like that. We didn’t need to redeem him, and they didn’t need to be a thing!!

Marvel: Stony. This is mostly because I can't see past Stucky. But I also I just feel like I cannot picture Tony Stark as bisexual or queer or anything other than straight. I know this is controversial, but I just can’t.  🙈

The L Word: Shane and Carmen. Listen, I know this is queer woman blasphemy. But the writers wrote Shane so that she’s just a chronic cheater, and it feels impossible to get past that. She treated Carmen awfully. Plus, Sarah Shahi is great, but it was painful to watch her try to be Mexican.

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

Nuna (Luna/Neville): Listen, I love them so much as friends, but they just don’t vibe as a couple. They’re the perfect examples of outcasts finding each other and bonding.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

You probably were wondering why Klaine wasn’t up above. Well, it’s here. The show ruined them too, of course, starting in season three. But I used to love Klaine in season two! The first three Glee fics I wrote were Klaine, and I think to date my longest Glee fic is an abandoned Klaine fic (~70K).

But I have never seen any other fandom fight over ships the way that Glee did. It was just stressful, and it made me turned off to the ship and the show.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

Harry Potter: Lavender Brown and Cho Chang. Of course, the writing with Cho is racist—of course. I want to acknowledge that and not minimize it as a valid reason to be frustrated with her character. However, I feel like both of them (and Ginny to a lesser extent) are hated because they’re women and love interests.

Buffy: Dawn Summers. I actually really related to her growing up, and I felt like she’s a good portrayal of a younger girl who goes through a lot of trauma and needs to adapt. She’s funny, and she just gets slammed for getting herself into trouble and needing attention, but frankly with her life, she turned out remarkably okay. I also have a million problems with Xander, and I refuse to acknowledge that they get together in the comics, but I really appreciated (in an older brother sort of way!) the moment in the last season when he bonds with her over feeling helpless.

Buffy (again): Riley Finn. This may be my most controversial take. Listen, I don’t love him. And I think he wasn’t the right match for Buffy, and he definitely has issues he needs to work through. But considering that one of her boyfriends was a horrifying stalker and the other big ship was ruined by a really bad writing choice involving attempted rape, Riley gets more shit than he deserves. He also was super manipulated by his professor, and that clearly messed him up. When you see him with his wife later on, he seems to have gotten the therapy he needed and be much healthier. 

Mad Men: Pete and Betty. Neither are good people, but you know what, they're really fucking fun as characters. Also, Betty deserved so much better than she got.

Friday Night Lights: Julie Taylor. Okay, she definitely had her moments where I got frustrated with her. But much like Dawn, she's just a teenage girl, and a lot of the hate definitely stems from that.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Broadly, I feel like there’s a push toward sanitized art that frustrates me. I don’t think that a piece of art needs to let you know that something is “bad” when they depict it. I think art can show something that’s morally reprehensible and not have it be explicitly condemned without condoning it.

There certainly is art that shows bad things and condones it, but I don’t think that it’s a given with every piece of art.

I’m especially seeing a weird wave of artists getting cancelled for dealing with AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL topics in complicated ways. There was a whole wave of comics people who wrote autobiographical graphic novels dealing with CSA, incest, and other topics, and they were told they were basically evil for depicting it and that by drawing the art, it made... them... pedophiles?

Listen, it’s just... let people deal with their traumas in complicated ways. Understand that just because a show or a book or a comic doesn’t explicitly have another character say, “Why, this is evil!” that the creator doesn’t necessarily agree with it.

There’s plenty of good art that gives you a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach without telling you that you should feel that way. Trust that it’s intentional. Approach art in good faith.

22. Popular character you hate?

Glee: Blaine Anderson. In my rewatch two or three years ago, I will say that I didn’t hate him, just disliked him. I think fandom amplified my feelings while I was watching, but I certainly still found him annoying. Sorry to all my followers who like him!

Angel: Fred Burkle. She was a nerdy boy's wet dream, and she never felt like a character to me. It felt like a weird wish fulfillment fantasy on Whedon's part to have her end up with Wesley (before dying of course). I love Amy Acker and think she did what she could with the role, but I think there was no salvaging the character. Everything from her voice to the way she held herself felt like the vague outline of a shy, nerdy girl who every incel nerd jerks off to.

Breaking Bad: Jesse Pinkman. I want to clarify that I'm not in the fandom. I actually didn't like Breaking Bad and thought it's a pretty empty show barring a few episodes and scenes. Everyone found him to be a softie who Walt manipulates, but frankly, I think he's just as shitty of a person as Walt, and I found him so annoying. I think without fail the worst episodes of the show are centered around him (thinking about the episodes where Jesse’s a cartoon version of a depressed person and has a giant party at his house), and it's where it's most clear that their biggest problem with writing was giving any actual soul or depth to their main characters.

[elizabeth-against-the-universe]

Thoughts while rewatching Tangled

Thoughts: 

Gothel doesn’t know about Pascal… he’s been around for years. I’m impressed, but I’m glad Punzie knows to keep him from her, it would’ve been awful for her to lose him. 

I’m still baffled how Gothel told Rapunzel her birthday was her real birthday. I saw a post about it a while back, and it has been on my mind ever since

Gothel called Rapunzel ‘chubby’, and I’m pretty sure she’s the skinniest Disney Princess

I’m pretty sure Rapunzel was my bisexual awakening. Eugene and Punzie are Disney’s best looking couple. 

I love looking back on Eugene and Max’s relationship, I know they still have a tiny bit of rivalry during the series, through teasing, but in the movie they’re so against each other, it’s really weird. 

It’s also really weird thinking of Eugene as Flynn Rider. Which is what he’s known as for 3/4 of this movie. 

FRYING PAN! I’ve never looked at a frying pan the same way since watching this movie the first time. 

Eugene is even handsome when unconscious, and Punzie knows this too, there was hesitation when she knocked him out

Raps shouldn’t be so proud of having a person in her closet 😂

She is beauty, she is grace, she will hit you with a frying pan right ‘round your face. 

I love a feisty Punzie 

“You broke my smoulder!” OMG 😂😂😂

It impresses me how Rapunzel never trips over her own hair.

If Max hadn’t jumped out at Gothel, she never would’ve gone back the the tower to find Rapunzel missing early and she would never have found out about being the lost princess. Though she might’ve still worked it out, I suppose. 

For someone who has been raised into being frightened of the outside world, Rapunzel is so sociable. 

Gothel obviously finds singing inside a Roughian’s pub suspicious. 

It’s STAN! His moustache is too small though. (Not sure if it is Stan, he seems too competent, but I think they modelled Stan off of him)

Shorty, Gothel is wayyyy too old for you. And evil. You should leave well alone. 

“You should know, this is the strangest thing I’ve ever done!” He says, sword fighting a horse with a frying pan. Just wait until the series starts. Things will get even weirder. 

I do miss the OG movie art style with the series. It’s still great, but the realism of the movie was so beautiful. 

Eugene just brushed her hair back and it was the cutest thing ever. 

I LOVE that he barely knows Punzie and still he trusts her enough with his real name. 

Eugene talking to Pascal as he panics over Rapunzel’s glowing hair. 

Turns out it wasn’t 3/4 of the movie, she’s calling him Eugene, everything is right in the world. 

The second person Rapunzel ever meets eventually becomes her husband. How wild is that? But also really cute for a movie, but in the real world it’d be creepy. 

Gothel ages QUICKLY! In the Mother Knows Best reprise, which isn’t even 24hrs after the last time Gothel used Rapunzel’s power, and she’s looking old af 

Max is actually a dog. 

Eugene actually put his hand out for Maximus to shake it 😂

I really want to know how the girls braided Punzie’s hair like that. 

Rapunzel bringing the community of Corona together in dance even before she realises she’s the princess. 

I love that Pascal keeps chilling on Eugene’s shoulder. Like he trusts him enough to do that. 

EUGENE IS LOOKING AT HER WITH SO MUCH LOVE

Can someone be my Eugene Fitzherbert please. Or the Rapunzel to my Eugene. I’m not fussed. 

It’s wild how King Frederic and Queen Arianna never talk during the movie. 

Oh the kingdom go onto a ship to release the lanterns! Never spotted that before. 

Eugene doesn’t take the satchel from her and I LOVE THAT

I love this movie so fricken much

I LOVE THIS SONG. At Last I See The Light is their song and it is the greatest love song in history. 

Pascal getting embarrassed over Rapunzel and Eugene having a moment, covering his eyes but then peeking through his hands 😂😂😂

I hate that Eugene ends up on the boat by the Stabbingtons and breaks Rapunzel’s heart. I know it’s not his fault at all, but you can FEEL the heartbreak. 

I wonder if Rapunzel was named by Gothel or the King and Queen. 

I think the guard I thought was Stan was a cross between Stan and the Captain. No sign of Cassandra though, which is a shame. 

“…Fine, now I’m the bad guy.” Gothel, you’ve always been the Bad Guy. Don’t kid yourself. 

How did Max know that Rapunzel was in danger? 

I can’t believe Gothel just went and stabbed Eugene. This is a Disney movie. 

I think the reason Gothel died but those like Pascal, who was revealed to be healed by Rapunzel’s hair when she first met him, didn’t is because Gothel’s life was literally dependant on the hair. Pascal didn’t need a constant stream of healing power after the initial healing. 

I am still a bit salty about how Rapunzel’s hair ended up. She’s a cute brunette, and the short choppy hair is really adorable. But I LOVED her as a blonde. 

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TALK IN THE PALACE APPARENTLY

It’s the family cowlick. 

I also love how Arianna pulls Eugene into the hug. 

NO CASSANDRA AT THE CELEBRATION, I CALL BS! 😂

I also love that Eugene did actually ask Rapunzel multiple times if she’d marry him. Like, it’s not just a joke he made, the joke was only that it was her that was asking. 

End Credit thing that made it into the Series: the monkey fortune teller, Vigor! 

[oblivions-reads]

Far From You by Tess Sharpe- Review

4/5 Stars

“I give him the only thing I can: the cold, hard truth. The one that’ll rewrite every memory he has—of him and me, her and me, the two of them, all three of us: “It’ll always be Mina.”

This is a lovely and painful story of loss, recovery and revenge. Told in a juxtaposition of past and present this novel delves into Sophie’s tragic loss of her best friend Mina who was murdered right in front of her one night out in the woods. Spurned by the need for revenge and trying to unravel the mystery of who killed her Sophie begins to piece together the truth of that night.

What I loved:

-It catches your attention immediately!

-The perfect balance of past and present. Each chapter switched between the two, with the present diving into a mystery while the past told us why we should care. It was perfect because it kept up a quick intriguing pace while also not drowning us in an information dump explaining what led up to this. By the end I was so invested in Sophie’s and Mina’s story that it made Mina’s death all the more heartbreaking.

-Bisexual main character. I’m a sucker for representation so you know I had to mention it! Plus, Sophie and Mina loved each other so much and that just needs to be said even if it makes me want to cry. 😭

-Personally I felt like the issues of Sophie’s injuries and her addiction were handled very well. It’s not something that I see all that often in YA novels. Sophie was such a strong character and didn’t let these issues hinder her goals.

-The culprit behind it all wasn’t obvious. It kept me guessing

-The fact that it didn’t just end after Mina’s killer got caught. I loved that we got to see moments later on with Sophie continuing her life and being able to finally accept what had happened. After all this story wasn’t just about finding Mina’s killer. It was about them and about Sophie recovering in more ways than one.

Dislikes:

-While the culprit wasn’t obvious some aspects of the mystery were a bit more cliche. I had guessed why Jackie had gone missing from the beginning simply because it’s been done so many times before.

-I really wanted a scene where Detective James apologized to Sophie for being wrong about her and the fact that I didn’t get that will always leave me salty.

Overall: Such a good book! I would definitely recommend it if you want an engaging mystery but be prepared for an emotional rollarcoaster!

When I got to the last page and finally saw the reason behind the lights on this cover of this book I started tearing up.

[qqueenofhades]

I have a personal question. So am an almost 30 year old history degree haver who has recently been realizing that I might be more bi than previously anticipated. I have described myself as such to my roommate and some close friends, but I am not really sure that I count. Or that I should. I know you were around my age when you realized and had also not had a girlfriend yet. So I guess my question is “how does one verify if they really are bi?” And not just easily distracted by the (part 1)

Part 2 and not just distract by the frankly gorgeous women in Hollywood. Like I don’t have any women in my real life I want to date, but I also currently have no men I want to date, and I know I like them. But Brie Larson could top me any day she wanted. So, does that count?

Oh, honey. (I hope it’s not weird if I call you that, since we’re about the same age, but just think about it as me in my salty-but-kindly-spinster-internet-aunt capacity.)

The good news is: there is absolutely no test or external confirmation or set of credentials that you have to pass or that you have to adhere to in order to legitimately identify as bisexual (or frankly, whatever the hell you want). If you experience attraction to both men and women: congrats, you are fully free to identify as bisexual. It doesn’t mean a 50-50 split; it can be 80/20 or 90/10 or whatever else. It can shift back and forth. There are a lot of studies being done these days about how human sexuality is a shifting spectrum and how increasingly large percentages of under-40 people identify themselves as not attracted exclusively to one gender (aka the first generation to grow up with awareness of alternatives to Compulsory Heterosexuality, and thus perhaps more confident in feeling things that otherwise had to be ignored). But there is, unfortunately, a lot of gatekeeping in the LGBT community about who can “rightfully” identify as part of it, and still a frankly depressing amount of biphobia. So if you have encountered those kinds of messages, or encounter them in the future, please do know that they are total crap and the only person who has any right to make any call on your personal identity is you.

You can fully identify as bisexual without having had experiences with the same gender. The legitimacy of your identity is not tied to performativity. If you have sexual feelings and fantasies about Brie Larson (and frankly, I imagine many of us have?) and other beautiful women, that means you experience attraction to your own gender as well as the opposite, and that makes you bisexual. (If you want that label, of course.) Frankly, I went through something similar with Gal Gadot, and when I was able to think back over my years of thoughts about how attractive other women were, I saw that I had always dismissed it as “all straight women have these thoughts” or “it just means I want to look that way myself.” It wasn’t even that I was exposed to a ton of overt homophobia or anything like that which would complicate the process, it’s just that kids in the 21st century West, with relatively few exceptions, grow up assuming that everyone is straight and that they are too. I did experience some crushes on men, so there wasn’t any reason to investigate, and I don’t even think it really crossed my mind. I was a sheltered kid growing up in an intermittently religious family (although that went away a long time ago) and it just wasn’t talked about. I discovered the concept of LGBT people through reading slash fanfiction as a young teenager. I’ve mentioned before how fanfiction taught me about sex, because aside from like….. two mortifyingly embarrassing conversations with my parents, it was never discussed at all.

Anyway, all that stuff went on in the background throughout my childhood, and I grew up, and a few years ago I was filling in one of those forms that want to know your sexual identity, and was like….. I can’t put heterosexual because it’s not true. It was such a relief to figure out and things made sense and I have really never done anything heterosexual in my life and yet still thought I was. It’s just that it’s posited as the overwhelming default and it takes a lot of self-reflection and bravery to overcome that. Some kids know instantly at the age of 3 or 4, some in their early teens, some as adults, some even as senior citizens. There is not a “right” time to know for yourself, and there is not then a corresponding obligation to come out of the closet, unless you want to. I told my sister, who was also my childhood best friend, in summer 2017, and I told my parents that Christmas, and they were all very supportive and it was no problem at all. But at the same time, I told them that I didn’t want it passed around the extended family, because…. well, all my cousins are Married With Children ™ and that is just not a life I see for myself. Not that I think they’d really have an issue with it (and I’m lucky in that regard) but it’s… not their business.

I have started attending Pride the last couple years and of course I work on queer history as an academic, and I feel a strong affiliation with my identity, because it explains a lot of things about how the way I have always been and it feels right, whether or not I end up with a partner (and honestly, if I married anyone, it would almost certainly be a woman). I am probably on the ace spectrum as well because I generally prefer my own company and have never properly dated anyone. Maybe this happens, maybe it doesn’t, but it doesn’t make me any different. Sometimes I wonder if I should identify as a lesbian because I have long periods of very little or no attraction to men, but then I remember that I do find some of them attractive, and it’s like “hmm, still bi.”

Anyway. The point is: You can and should choose what feels right for you. If you want to say you’re bi, or feel that you are, then you are! Nobody gets to police or gatekeep that from you. If you don’t want to say you are, you don’t have to. But from the tone of your question, it sounds to me like you want to know if you’re doing it right or if you’re justified in calling yourself bi because you think that you would like to and to explore that, and in that case: please, please believe me that nobody has any right to make that decision but you. It was a huge relief for me and it hopefully would be for you as well. If you have a supportive group of friends/family, that is also good, but at least at your age, I imagine you aren’t living with your parents/aren’t dependent on their approval. So again, identify as who you are and what feels right, and see what happens.

I am honored that you came to me with this question, and it’s a good time for it, since Pride month has just started (at least in the US). Just know that I support you and I am here if you want to ask more things. I will see what I can do.

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Chapter 7 – Stalking? No, slut dads who slutted each other.

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it.  Her husband is in charge of the Supernatrual Police (BUR) so he’s going to Scotland about it.

Alexia is also going north to help her husband with a crew crafted for a comedy. and oh boy I can’ts wait.

Chapter 7 – Stalking? No, slut dads who slutted each other.

Tunstell has been poisoned! So Alexia and LeFoux tell him to puke.  Ivy gets really offended that they asked him to puke.  Like it was actually kinda shocking how nasty Ivy gets about this. Ivy insults Alexia, and laughs condescendingly while saying it’s just regular old food poisoning.  Like that’s pretty fucking cold Ivy damn.

I know this is supposed to be a comedy of ~manners~ this hubbub is because it’s gross and ~untoward.~  But a secret part of me wants to believe that Ivy is pissed at Tunstell for giving her feels and wants him to suffer.  

Also I love how Alexia and LeFoux just TELL him to puke, and when Tunstell is like…what? How? They’re like you’re an actor just puke wtf do we have to explain everything to you?????? But eventually they concede, he takes some ipecac, barfs, and doesn’t die.  Ivy was fluttering around him all a tizzy over this incident.  A part of me is like, why didn’t they just leave Ivy and Tunstell alone here to sort out some shit?  But I mean, Ivy seems salty enough to allow him to be in horrible pain. If they weren’t careful she was going to pull a fake eggplant off of her ugly hat and suffocate him with it.

LeFoux gets fed up with all of Ivy’s tittering so she gives her a bit of Cognac.  She takes what are described as two nips. So I was picturing itty-bitty sips, and Ivy immediately becomes blitz out of her fucking mind. I’m not exaggerating, 2 sentences after the nips, she’s staggering in zig-zags. She bumps into doors, spills drinks, and giggles like a mad woman.  I haven’t had cognac before but like….REALLY?  To me, they might as well have written, “Ivy was within 15 feet of an alcoholic beverage, so she’s sloshed.  She starts laugh-crying while singing Danny Boy incoherently and trying to give Tunstell a handy under the table…but it wasn’t Tunstell it was just an empty chair.  Which was actually lucky for Tunstell cause at this point she couldn’t do more than just play bloody knuckles with his nut-sack anyway.”

But anyway Ivy and Tunstell retire to their rooms and Alexia and LeFoux go to have a chat on the deck. Alexia is like, “Why would anybody want to poison Tunstell it makes no sense!”  To which LeFoux, with more patience than I could ever muster, points out Tunstell ate HER meal.  Alexia has a moment before she’s like, “Oh yeah, people are always trying to kill me.” LeFoux is a bit flummoxed that Alexia seems pretty chill and incurious about almost being murdered.  Alexia continues this track of being an intellectual giant by asking LeFoux if she’s a spy or assassin out to get her.

She, of course denies it, by saying she could have easily killed her earlier cause gosh what a badass she is.  But like what the hell Alexia!? All you did was alert LeFoux to your distrust of her. What were you hoping is going to happen by asking that question? Denying it is hardly going to prove one way or the other, were you hoping you’d get,

“Yes! KER-STAB! U DEAD!”

Yet it’s almost as if her wish came true because a mysterious figure shoves Alexia off the deck, to meet her doom splattered on the English Countryside.

NO this isn’t where the chapter ends. Here we are 4 pages in and we have a much better cliff-hanger than TUNSTELL DUN BE POISONED!

Unluckily for us Alexia’s descent is cut short because a random protuberance on the dirigible catches her dress and she hangs on for dear life while LeFoux fights for hers against the mysterious shoving assassin.  

But just as you were getting caught up in the action, a port-hole opens near Alexia to reveal the still hammered Ivy.  We have a very appropriate bit of comic relief where Ivy slurs out how extra it is of Alexia to be climbing around on the outside of the dirigible.  Which, to be fair, I wouldn’t put it past her.  But eventually LeFoux scares off the attacker and they rescue her.  The attacker was wearing a mask so we CAN’T SAY who it could possibly be.  I bet it’s Angelique.

However LeFoux goes back to Alexia’s room with her, and Alexia sees she got a scratch on her neck from the fight.  So she takes off LeFoux’s cravat and cleans it up.  It’s very intimate.

Gotta be honest, I am so here for the lesbian flirting.  I think fewer people should be flirting with Alexia, but I hardly care at this point. I’m happy that this book isn’t afraid to throw a masc-presenting lesbian love interest.  I mean, this is perhaps quite a low bar since modern romance novels don’t tend to be homophobic, but I appreciate a stronger inclusion regardless.

But as she’s doing so she spies a tattoo on her neck of that OCTOPUS SYMBOL!  YANNO THE HYPOCRAS CLUB THAT TRIED TO KILL HER, HER HUSBAND, AND THE TOKEN GAY MAN LAST BOOK! OH NO!  But Alexia pretends she didn’t see it.  She asks LeFoux why she’s following her around.  LeFoux is all like, “Oh GOSH I WISH I COULD TELL YOU BUT I CANNOT! I AM MYSTERIOUS!” I really hate this cop-out, and I particularly hate this one cause I can already taste it now…the reason she can’t tell Alexia is for a really dumb reason that would cause 0 damage if she told her right now. (Also going back and editing this after I finished the book, I was right. SHOCK!)  It’s also kinda infuriating cause Alexia (rightly so for once) is like, “Just tell me!”  To which LeFoux rolls her eyes and is like, “Oh you soulless are always so annoyingly logical.”

HEY LISTEN GIRL, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL HER ALL THE TIME, IT’S NOT FUCKING ~DISPASSIONATE~ OF HER TO BE DISTRUSTFUL FOR CHRISTS SAKES! UGH!

In order to appease Alexia’s outrageous line of questioning, LeFoux barfs out some totally unrelated backstory. She was an illegitimate child from a slutty dude who died soon after she was born.  She was raised by her aunt. As a child she met a man who used to be gay lovers with her dad. TURNS OUT THAT RANDOM MAN IS ALEXIA’S FATHER! WOW!  What does that have to do with her following Alexia around like a dog trying to hump her leg?

BEATS THE HELL OUT OF ME!

But Alexia is swayed with that and they part ways.

Say something nice Faps:

It’s getting even gayer up in here. Seriously Alexia, if you were seriously considering getting deep-dicked by Douche-canoe, douche canoe, of the dickwad douche canoes you better be considering this.

In particular I like the idea that Alexia’s father was openly bisexual. In part because she describes him as basically down for any person who wanted to fuck him. I am the kind of slutty stereotypical bisexual that relates to that.  Also the more gay characters the better my friend.

I mean, I’m not super happy with the direction they continuously drag Ivy’s character but it’s at least it’s more of a personality.  And I’ll take the comic relief, even if it isn’t good.

[solitarykairos]

On Preferences and Transphobia

What I did: I wrote a small post about how while preferences aren’t inherently transphobic, it is transphobic to refuse to date someone purely because they are transgender.

What happened: a bunch of gross TERF blogs reblogged the post and added some lovely transphobic comments.

Why? I don’t know. Maybe they were just feeling salty today.

I blocked the TERFs (because first and foremost, I have to take care of my mental health and I would rather not engage in that kind of discourse right now) and deleted their comments on the original post. One of the TERFs left a long list of things that they were salty about on my post. Ironically, the comment was longer than the original post. Funny how that works.

So here’s some thoughts on that list, kids:

1. You’re correct, sexual orientations are not preferences. I could have worded that better, and I apologize. While preferences was not the correct word, what I meant was simply that some people have certain genitals that they would prefer not to interact with. As a lesbian, you would likely not want to have sex with someone who had a penis.

And, small caveat, if you did, that’s totally fine, too! Because sexuality is a fluid thing, and there are women who don’t have vaginas. There are *gasp* trans women! I know that sounds terrifying to you, but honey, trans women are women. It doesn’t matter what they have in their pants, they’re women, and if you sleep with a trans woman or date a trans woman, you’re still a lesbian, don’t you worry. You’re still valid, because, again, trans women are women. So off the bat, get used to the fact that in the year of our lord twentygayteen, we support all women.

2. Yes, gay men are attracted to the same sex. They are also attracted to the same gender, because sex and gender are different things. In my original post, I stated an example. Let me explain that a little further, because I don’t think you understood it. Let’s say there’s a gay man, and let’s call him Andy. Let’s say I told Andy I was AFAB, or assigned female at birth, and had not had any trans affirming surgeries. I would be absolutely okay if Andy told me he didn’t want to sleep with me. He knows the specific details of my situation. He took the time to ask and be fully informed before declining. We go our separate ways, and stay close friends because hey, Andy’s awesome. And, yes, this is a true story! Sometimes, in the real world, people are adults and respect other people enough to be affirming of their identities. And Andy is a feminist, but he’s no TERF.

However, let’s say that this gay man tells everyone that he would never date anyone who is transgender. Blanket statement. Boo, Andy. I know, in the original post, you took offense to my talk of genitalia. I’m sorry that bothered you so much, but in the real world with real adults, you have to talk about that kind of stuff, because it’s important to know your partner well if you’re planning to sleep with them. So Andy decides he’s never going to date anyone who’s trans. Andy doesn’t understand that there’s a wide range of genitalia in the trans community. There are trans men who’ve had every surgery imaginable, and have fully transitioned to the point where you couldn’t tell (and don’t come up in here saying that you can “always tell”, because I, a trans person who is well acquainted with all sorts of genitalia and all sorts of transgender surgeries and such, slept with a transgender man a couple weeks ago and I did. not. know. until after the fact.)

Later in your reply, you called this incel logic, which, ew. Can we not compare a young trans person’s logic to the logic of a group of generally homophobic rape-apologizers? But I digress. I’m not saying that a gay man should absolutely have to sleep with every trans person he comes across or he’s transphobic. I’m saying that, if this gay man says that he won’t sleep with anyone who’s trans JUST BECAUSE they are trans? That’s transphobic. You don’t know what genitals someone has, and assuming that every single trans man has a vagina is a bad game. I’m absolutely not saying that anyone should force themselves to have sex with someone they don’t want to have sex with, because they shouldn’t. I’m saying that trans women are women, trans men are men, and you need all the information of the situation before automatically assuming that because they’re transgender, you won’t be attracted to them.

Here’s another example, just in case that one was also a little too hard for you to understand. I have another gay male friend, we’ll call him Stanley. Stanley likes to sleep around, and he’s good at it. Stanley recently slept with a trans man, and he didn’t like it as much because the trans man had not had surgery. I asked him if he would continue to sleep with trans men after the experience, and he said yes, but he would have a conversation with them beforehand about sex, genitalia, and STI protection, because that would help him decide better whether he and his partner would have a good, safe, enjoyable time. Stanley, a gay man, knows that trans men are men. Stanley also knows that genitalia come in many shapes, sizes, and variations, and understands that while he’s not attracted to vaginas, not. every. trans. man. has. a. vagina. And therefore, Stanley knows that he shouldn’t exclude trans men as an entire group.

3. This may be a revolutionary thought, but if you’re a gay man and you date a woman, you might not be gay. If you’re a lesbian and you date a man, you might not be a lesbian. And, because trans women are women and trans men are, in fact, men, guess what?

I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

4. Sure. You can call me obsessed with genitals. That’s fine. As a trans person, I am obsessed with genitals. Wanna know why? Because I care about the people that I choose to have sex with. I care about informing them what they’re getting. I care about them informing me what I’m getting. If we don’t talk about genitals, if we don’t talk about sex, if we don’t talk about STIs and safe practices and contraception, someone’s going to end up getting hurt. And nope. Again, not incel logic. I’m not saying that anyone has to give me a chance in bed because I’m trans. I’m saying that if a person says that they won’t have sex with anyone who’s trans, that is a transphobic comment. Because, as we’ve already gone over multiple times, not every trans person has the same genitalia, or the genitalia you expect us to have.

Also, for the other TERF who commented that I’m probably a virgin-first of all, there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, dude. Get off your old fashioned horse drawn carriage and stop shaming people who haven’t had sex. Secondly, I’ve done and continue to do sex work, so of all people, I’m pretty sure I know what I’m talking about when it comes to sex and genitalia.

5. Pump the brakes, buddy. If I were a less nice person, this is where I’d get mean. I am not a woman. I am a transmasculine person. My pronouns are not ““new””, they’re the pronouns that fit me the best. On that note, I’m not heterosexual either. I’m bisexual. I like men and women.

And you wanna talk about gay men and conversion therapy? You wanna talk about how you somehow think that, because I’m not a gay man or a lesbian woman, because I exist somewhere else on the queer spectrum, that I haven’t faced discrimination? Not that being gay should ever be a fucking discrimination marathon, but I’ve fucking been in shitty situations because of my queerness. When I came out to my parents, they told me not to come home again. I was homeless for a period of time this summer and was blessed enough to sleep on a friend’s couch. I’ve been yelled at, I’ve had people ask me what went wrong in my childhood, I’ve had letters written to the president of my university asking why I’m leading a group that makes being queer seem like an okay thing.

The last line of your post really tells me what I need to know, though. “shut the fuck up bc nobody asked you”. You’re right. You’re right, nobody asked me. Nobody asked Marsha P. Johnson. Nobody asked Harvey Milk. Nobody asked any of the other countless people who’ve given their entire lives over to make sure that people like us have the ability to walk the streets without fear. Nobody asked them, and yet? They spoke up anyways.

If you think that I’m going to shut my mouth and live in shame because people like you don’t like the fact that I, a transgender person, can live openly and with pride now, you’ve got another thing coming.

You’re right, nobody asked me. That’s exactly why I’m still talking.