#also I almost cried while listening to it lmao
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jeweledstone · 2 years ago
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Headcanoning Soul as having religious/childhood trauma after listening to Two Wuv for the first time
(Maybe that’s how/why he split into Heart and Mind idk)
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aromanticannibal · 1 month ago
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The pattern is that people straight up do not read™. or they read a 3-5 tweet summary of what happened and treat it as if they did. or because shonen expectations based on "the classics" is bullshit and significantly rotted people's brains when deciding wether an ending is good or not.
Which could be nothing right
yeahhh. i will forever regret reading the last chapter through leaks because it was a dreadful experience, and watching everyone ever shit on it for like a week after genuinely made me want to just get off the internet forever or something because i felt like an idiot for liking the ending (all this is my fault for getting too invested in both tumblr and mha etc etc).
All the "it's rushed" and pacing complaints barely matter to me at this point because you just cannot feel the pacing of something correctly when you're reading it exclusively through leaks. you can't absorb info like that. And don't get me started on the number of complaints and criticisms I've seen of the last chapter that are just provably bullshit (I saw someone say Izuku didn't get a statue lmao. yes he did, you just read the fucking leaks and watched twitter drama unfold instead of reading the actual chapter i fear).
#i just. do not think it is as bad as some people want to make it seem. i know not to take people who make cashier peaked in high school deku#jokes but like some of yall are treating this as if it's a major failure of the manga ? ? ?#it's underwhelming if you want#it didn't touch on stuff you wanted it to touch on whatever#i personally think that it did okay with the constraints it clearly had#like even without going into shonen jump conspiracy theories horikoshi had been doing 15 pages chapters for a while now#I also think that a lot of disappointment comes from fanon interpretations becoming canon in people's minds especially regarding izuku#and like do not get me wrong i had mixed feelings when i read the chapters i still have mixed feelings on some aspects (hawks what r you#doing etc etc)#i dont blame people who didn't like the ending for not liking the ending#i am just very annoyed by some justifications for not liking the ending#i don't even bother arguing with anyone at this point bc i don't want to be that person (too often) and because it just straight up makes m#feel bad lmao#anywayssssss i probably wanted to say something else but i forgor#oh no yeah listen. maybe you think it's lazy and maybe it is lazy to do an 8 years timeskip and leave a lot of stuff up to the reader#i personally really like this choice. important points were addressed and the rest can be speculated upon by the fanbase and by god.#we are the mha fandom guys. we can speculate. we love to speculate. we have EIGHT YEARS#you can do literally whatever you want man#i already have my personal canon for what happened during the eight years and believe me it helps a lot with the mixed feelings lmao#again. horikoshi did Not have a lot of space the story clearly had a lot of plot changes halfway through. i really do think this is more#than okay. this ending is not the end of the world i promise.#anyways i originally started like citing bs criticism i saw and then i thought ok lets not. inside thoughts etc etc.#i am not a meta analyzer i regularly learn i've misunderstood something about something or misremembered a plot point i am Not the person#for actually good meta and a lot of very insightful stuff on how we are very much not the target audience and lack cultural context go see#pikahlua lmao#mha manga spoilers#mha 430#mad mha ramblings//#ask//#i almost want to say ask to tag lmao? i have the mha cri/tical tag blocked so if anyone needs the opposite for me being overly positive
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lanabuckybarnes · 4 months ago
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| Dinner Distraction |
18+ Minors DNI
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Dinners with Bucky’s clients can be mind numbingly boring. After trying your hardest to be good for him the lack of entertainment is getting to you, all you need is to gome with your husband but hes making it hard for you. So you play the only way you know how.
✧Pairing✧ Mafia Boss!Bucky x Wife!Reader
✧Warnings✧ alcohol consumption, Brat!Reader, Public teasing, Voyeurism (not really but to be sure), Bondage, Rope tying, Collar, Punishments, Alluding to spanking, Masturbation (M), DIrty talk, Daddy kink, Name calling, Degrading, Humilation (itty bitty), [Petnames; Dove, Angel, Whore, Brat, Baby] — I believe that is all, any more that you find please let me know so that I can add them onto this list.
✧Word Count✧ 1.5K
✧Author Note✧ The writers block has been hitting me hard so i really hope this is up to scratch because ya boy has been struggling to enjoy her own writing lmao. Also please forgive any mistakes as I have skimmed over this — I may look at it again later and fix them or I might just leave it. Who knows.
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You knew you shouldn’t have, you were playing with fire. Bucky’s meals were extravagant and over the top but extremely important to his business, a long table full of men and their ladies all wishing to discuss deals and arrangements with your husband. But to you, they were like watching paint dry. You downed your third wine listening to incredibly dull trips to the Maldives or men competing passive aggressively for the title of wealthiest idiot at the table.
By the time dessert rolled around you could’ve cried due to lack of entertainment, not even Bucky’s conversation was keeping you satisfied and with no excitement seemingly on the horizon you took matters into your own hands.
“Buck” you trill into your husband’s ear, trailing manicured nails up the thickness of his thigh before he rests his veiny hand on top of it halting your path to the finishing line between his legs. The brunette turned, flashing you a soft pearly white smile and kissing your cheek, murmuring about how beautiful you looked. Just when you thought you had your man’s attention he averted his gaze back to the balding man and his much younger bride. The things money could buy
You huff, a teeny kiss wasn’t good enough. You’d have to pull out the big guns.
“Bucky” you whine in his ear, making sure your lips brushed over the shell. With a quick look at the man, he excused himself from the conversation and turned to you again.
“What is it dove?”
The sound of his deep voice rumbling out the petname sent an involuntary shiver down the length of your body.
“I’m bored”
“It won’t be too much longer Angel, then we’ll take you home alright?” He chuckles at the way you bat your eyelashes at him, your lips pushed out in a soft pout which he gladly kisses.
No, it was definitely not alright. You wanted to go home and have fun with your man now, not in an hour. With the way Gemma kept prattling on about her one hundred thousand dollar ring you were sure you wouldn’t even be cognitive enough to breathe in an hour much less do what you wanted alone with Bucky.
“But-“
His blue eyes steeled quickly, his hand squeezing yours with a looming threat,
“No buts Dove, I’m warning you.”
Bucky should’ve known you weren’t one to heed his warnings, he’d spanked your ass raw enough times for him to know that you simply did not care for his threats — in fact, you quite enjoyed the feeling of his handprint on your ass. So why would you listen to him now?
You waited until his guard was down, sipping your drink silently, pretending to listen in on another conversation while he immersed himself back in his. He didn't bat an eye when you moved your laced hands from his lap into yours, your thumb tracing over the webbing veins.
He almost choked when his fingers dipped into something wet and hot, your thighs securing around his wrist telling him all he needed to know. He stood up so quickly that his chair almost fell, startling the guests around him. His hand grabbed at your arm, slick digits pressing into it almost painfully but you only smirked. You were getting what you wanted.
“Sorry for the suddenness but my wife…” he glared over at you, the muscles in his cheek twitching sad he clenched his jaw tight, “isn’t feeling too good. My assistant will reach out to you all about our agreements and the date for our next meal.”
With a wave he commanded all of his men out of the restaurant, each suited man making their way to the blacked-out SUVs parked outside. You stumbled as he dragged you along, his hand dropping to your ass and squeezing tight.
“You are such a fucking little whore, just you wait” It should’ve been embarrassing how wet you got at his growl. The ride home was tense and silent, you remained as still as the air around you, fearing that a single movement would bring about Bucky’s wrath in the backseat of the car. Not that you would’ve minded but you liked the old driver too much to put him through something like that.
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Everything blurred as the car parked outside the house, Bucky slipping out first before helping you out too. He dragged you quickly to the huge master bedroom and rummaged around the closet for a box. You gulped at its sight, it could only mean one thing.
You whine, tugging on the pretty pink rope tied expertly around your wrists and thighs, keeping them closed. The rope makes sure your wrists are tied to the length of rope around your thighs so that you can’t touch yourself or Bucky. The bell on your collar rings softly as you lurch a little closer to the man not even a foot away from you.
His legs cage you into your chair, spread wide leading up towards his leaking cock, freed from its confines and dribbling profusely over his navy slacks. He doesn’t seem to care about soiling himself though, his bored eyes bore into you, one hand rests against the side of his head while the other drums against the hardwood of the chair.
“So desperate” he tuts, chastising you for squirming around under his eyes. His thigh knocks into your knee when you move around again.
“Sit still brat. You wanted this, the second you opened that slutty mouth you were begging for it.” He chuckles darkly as you hang your head at the nickname, hiding the deep blush on your cheek and glossy, lust-filled eyes. Bucky had spent years studying you, he could read you like a book; your body may as well have been his own he knew it that well.
The brunette gripped your cheeks in a bruising vice, forcing you to look up at him with pouted lips. Your faces were so close that your nose brushed against his, whining deep in your throat bubbling forth at the minimal contact.
“You keep those fucking eyes on me, at all times. Or I’ll bring out the paddle” he warns and you whimper at the thought. A long dark leather paddle Bucky only used when you misbehaved, he knew you hated it with a passion, not because it hurt but because it didn't have the right shape — you much preferred Bucky’s handprint against your cheek than that thing.
“Aww, don't want the paddle?” He mocks, pouting his lips before laughing and pushing you back into the chair by your face. “You better behave then slut.”
He groans as his big hand wraps around his length, sucking his lip into his mouth at the little pleads and whimpers you let out when he began to jerk himself slowly, almost too slowly but he knew how much you hated it when he played with himself. Especially if you couldn’t help.
“Da-“ you mewl, slumping into your seat when the only response you receive is a sharp grunt as his hand twisted over his raging red tip.
“Fuck baby feels so good. Wish it was your hand — mmm yeah. But bad girls don't get what they want, do they? And I know you fucking want this.” He continued cursing and moaning. His hips thrust up to meet his hand, his eyes squeezing shut and his head lulling back.
“You soaking that fucking chair angel hm? Bet you are, don't even try shaking that head — not that you could — you’re too busy drooling for daddy’s cock ain’t you?” He smiles wickedly at the soft slurping sound you made when you realised you were actually drooling for him.
“Daddy need you please, I’m sorry for teasing you but I was so bored and horny. Needed you so bad…please” you beg, your eyes wide and tits jumping as you bounced in desperation on the chair. Bucky had never met a bigger cock slut, your whimpering and begging shooting straight to his balls, sending him over the edge.
“Ohh shit, fuckfuckfuckfuck” he continued to fist his cock as white-hot pleasure seeped into his veins and out his dick, spurting all over his hand. You sob, mouth opened instinctively but you couldn’t taste it. That’s what you got for being a bad girl.
Bucky wasted no time, standing and making his way to the bathroom. When he returned he was completely clean, save for the stain on his slacks. You wanted to cry at all the cum he wasted when you could’ve had it. Your husband's hand settled on the top of your head, his worst soft and almost intelligible as he cooed his praises.
“There we go angel you did so good” you preen at his sweet nothings, nuzzling your head into him. “But daddy’s still gotta teach you a lesson okay?” With a swift tug, the ropes fell from around your wrists and thighs. He gave you a little minute to rub any pain from them before ordering you around again.
“Turn around, hands on the back of the chair and stick that pretty little ass out for me” he spoke, grunting at the sight of you sitting all obediently, one of his hands spread your cheek wide, giving him the perfect view of your creamy folds.
“Such a horny little baby. That’s alright Daddy will help soon.”
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I DO NOT give permission to have my work copied, translated or reposted. If you see my work anywhere else except this page i have not given consent for it to be used.
Comments, Reblogs, Likes and Asks are always appreciated, however if you like this fix please consider reblogging to help it reach a wider audience. They let me know that you are enjoying what i read and give me motivation to write more.
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kimsunos · 3 months ago
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IM SO HAPPY UR INTO HYBRIDS OMFGGWHSI
gawd ok it's cliche but idc, bunny!reader and fox!sunoo, horny x horny lmao
going at it for hours on the regular all while being loud asf and not giving a shit abt anything, sooo many quickies and heats go even crazier dare i say it'd make satan blush, a match made in hell for others lmao.
hii baby! dont even know if youre into it still because i made you wait too much for it and for that i apologize 😢 but nonetheless i LOVE rambling about hybrids so here goes nothing.. Also this is very long for no reason
cw: female reader, fox!sunoo, bunny!reader, dom!sunoo, sub!reader, primal play, kinda perv!sunoo (gasp), biting kink, degradation, dacryphillia, dumbification, breeding kink, name calling (bunny, bitch, etc), spit play? (sunoo licks her lmao), sunoo is a sly fox 🧐 also he says "bunny" a lot.
your parents, since you were little, warned about the precautions needed to take as a prey. and as a family of rabbit hybrids, you were, of course, a bunny with big, fuzzy ears on top of your head and a toothy, cute, happy smile.
you always thought this judgement your parents and all the older rabbits had towards predators was stupid. "don't go near wolves", "don't talk to lions", "bears can smell you from miles away", "never trust foxes". this is modern times, we are not savages anymore! oh, if you had just listened to their advice.
"you can't imagine how long i've been dreaming about this." said sunoo, the gentle fox hybrid that every day ordered a drink at the coffee shop you worked, now, not as gentle, as he pushes your head on the mattress and thrusts mercilessly into your pussy from behind. you'd never have imagined that the date and the shy kiss you shared at the end of your work hours would end this way.
"bunny... my bunny," he said, voice intoxicated with desire, and slowed down his movements, lowered himself to rest his bare chest against your back and slowly dragged his nose from your cheek to your neck, sniffing in your scent gland, absorbing it like a hungry man. "oh, god, your scent..." another big sniff, "always drove me crazy, bunny. did you know that?"
with your face on the mattress, you could only whine and wiggle your fluffy tail, voice muffled by the pillow, falling into the pleasure of his cock making you feel so full. sunoo laughed, his movements now at a quicker pace.
"you're so fucking innocent, baby," another laugh, his breath unsteady, going deep at you, hips doing wonders to reach your most sensitive spots. "you really thought i was just a nice guy, huh? coming everyday at your job, sitting at that table in the back... such a nice costumer, big tips too." you could hear the smirk in his voice, condescending tone, his sharp nails drawing circles on your back, gracious movements contrasting with the mess he's making of you. "the truth is, i could barely contain myself in that small cafe, bunny." his scratches would for sure be visible the next day. "so ready to please and so naive. bet you didn't even notice the way my hands would always find yours, the way i watched your movements... or did you?" you whined as he talked. "remember when i offered a bite of that brownie to you? and you sucked on the plastic spoon like a bitch in heat, hungry eyes on mine and shit?"
no verbal response from you but a clench, embarrassed to be caught red-handed. such unwise actions, bunny. a rabbit flirting with a fox? really? and you still had the audacity to think you were in control.
"fucking answer me, bitch." sunoo yanked you by your furry ears, hard enough to lift your body off the mattress, placing your back against his chest again, making you moan loudly. his movements getting faster, skin on skin noises mixing with the red-haired boy's animalistic grunts and your cries.
"s-sun, slow d-down, ple-"
"oh, bunny," he laughs. "you want me to slow down? hm?~" hand still with a firm grip on your ears, causing you to bend your neck in an almost uncomfortable position, if it wasn't for the pleasure washing over all your other emotions. "p-poor bunny, can't handle big dick? this is what you're made for, can't you even do that?" and there you were, crying, overwhelmed by the degradation and how it made your insides even more wet.
"oh, god," his hips hitting even faster now, you could feel him losing all his control. "god, f-fuck- bunny, don't do this to me~" he said, releasing your ears to grip your hips, you could only cry. turning your head sideways, you meet his foxy eyes and vertical pupils now blown out in complete insanity, seeing you cry, your most prey-like state, ears down in submission and everything, it made the predator in him fucking crazy. "bunny- b-bunny, my bunny-" he started licking your tears away, chanting your name like in a trance. "b-bunny, i'll make you m-mine, 'mmkay? will y-you let me?" he kissed your neck, stopping to paint your skin with hickeys then and there. "s-stuff you full of me, baby, knock you up real good, hm?~" his voice was whiny and loud as he bit you, sharp fangs poking at your neck, and another bite, and another, almost like trying to literally eat you alive.
"nnngh- oh, s-sunoo, s'deep, f-full." you mutter, no thoughts behind your eyes.
"shhh, baby- i know, r-right?~ don't worry, turn off your brain, l-let me do the thinking for you."
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yeoslattes · 9 months ago
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Happy Ending Status: Pending
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Genre: Smut
Word Count: 6.7k
Pairings: Underground Artist!Mingi x fem!reader
Summary: Mingi was not what your family and friends wanted for you. Reality was becoming too real and maybe they were right but you struggled to leave him.
Songs to listen to: Tunnel-Song Mingi, Star Shopping-Lil Peep, Romantic Homicide-D4vd
Warnings: TW! Toxic relationship tendencies, toxic Mingi, smut, lots of crying, slight slow burn, weed use, financial issuesMingi is pretty bad to her at the beginning, he's lowkey a bum, Mingi yells at her once, simp!Mingi, one of his friends makes a bad comment abt reader, Wooyoung is an asshole, reader is a good girl, he's possessive of her, soft Dom!Mingi, oral m receiving, big dick Mingi (lets be real), gagging, lots of spit, slight throat fucking, Mingi holds her down a couple of times, choking, unprotected sex asf, creampie, Mingi cries after sex, use of slut like once, praising
A/N: *big sigh* something about the plot was so hard to write for me lol. I had mentioned that I didn't want to make Mingi too toxic but in the editing process it was almost inevitable so I had to do what I had to do to make it work. He's not scary, he's just a big simp in this lmao. I added songs as well, Star Shopping is what inspired me and Tunnel is what I imagine Mingi looking like in this, Romantic Homicide is for the vibes. Also to clear up any confusion, she's in college bc her parents pay for it aside from that she gets no allowance from them, since she wanted to move with Mingi so bad her parents let her fend for herself (stupid girl). I hope you Pookies enjoy, as always thank you for all the love mwah <3
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The bass boomed through the entire establishment. The floor shook, soundwaves rolling up your body. A small smile plays at your lips at the sight of your boyfriend performing on stage. Your eyes curiously watched the girls in the front row who were ready to risk it all for Song Mingi.
The song comes to an end and people cheered loudly, you clap for your boyfriend as he comes off stage pressing a kiss against your lips. “I have some business to deal with first baby, I’ll be back soon.” You nod and clutch the jacket draped over your arms, suddenly feeling exposed now that Mingi had left you.
You take a seat, scrolling mindlessly through your phone, soon enough Mingi comes back looking more pissed than ever. His eyebrows are drawn together with a stoic expression replacing his usual smile. Your face falls, “hey what’s going on?” You ask worriedly, placing a hand on his arm. He shakes his head, “he’s not paying me.” He grumbles, you feel your heart sink. “Mingi that’s not okay-“ you begin, but he ignores you, instead walking towards Yunho and Hongjoong who were standing beside the stage.
Your lips subconsciously fall into a pout, trailing after him. You knew how Mingi was when he was upset and the fact that he was with friends didn’t help either; you hated who he became when he was around them. Walking a couple steps behind them and excusing yourself as you walked through the crowd, you watched as Yunho whispered something in Mingi’s ear. Your boyfriend nods and turns to look at you. “I’ll be right back babe.” He says not even giving you time to respond. You stand alone for a second time tonight. You huff plopping down on one of the booth seats.
You wait and wait, it had been almost 25 minutes since Mingi had left. Your eyes skimmed the crowd in search of him with no luck. He’d blown you off, when you figured he really wasn’t coming back you got up and started looking for him. Your heart felt like it was hanging by the finest thread, one minimal tug and it’d be gone. You spent the majority of your night pushing through sweaty bodies looking for your missing boyfriend.
Everyone sported leather, dark eyeliner, piercings, while the darkest color on your outfit was the pleated black skirt and black tights you had worn, your cashmere sweater being no fit to the aesthetic. Your hands were starting to shake, and your breathing became slightly labored as you continued to skim the club for a tall Mingi.
People had started to notice you, giving you weird looks as you kept making rounds around the club. Your mind began to race, the more you looked the more you felt like the crowd was close to swallowing you up. You spot the exit and make a beeline for it, your tears already falling freely down your cheeks. “E-excuse me.” You mumbled pushing through a couple, the girl looked at you, her eyebrow piercing moving up as she cocked her brow up at your state. Stepping out into the fresh air you finally felt like you could breathe.
***
Your white sneakers heavily hit the ground, dirty water soaking the mid rise crew socks you wore from all the puddles you had stepped in but you didn’t care. You continued your journey back to yours and Mingi’s apartment. You quickly went up the stairs to the second floor, ducking your head as you passed your creepy neighbor who’s eyes never left your shivering frame. You unlocked the door and slammed it shut behind you with a loud sigh. The wooden door creaked under your weight as you rested against it. You feel a knot forming in your throat and you can't help the sob that rips through you. Your legs give out and you melt down into a puddle of tears. Your hand clutches your phone tightly, looking at the absurd amount of times you had dialed Mingi, each one going straight to voicemail.
You numbly pick yourself up off the floor and go into the bathroom, staring at yourself in the mirror you almost feel bad for yourself; but this was the life you had chosen. Your hair is frizzed up and your makeup is basically gone. You begin reflecting on what your  life had become, the voices of your parents and friends echoed through your head, and you were truly starting to believe that you should've listened to them. After standing your ground against them for so long and always defending Mingi, things were not what they seemed anymore, nothing like the delusions you had put in your head. And so now here you were, heart hanging by a thread as you desperately waited for your boyfriend to come home; no clue on his whereabouts or who he was with aside from his friends.
***
You had met Mingi freshman year of university, you were enamoured with who he was, with the way he dressed, all dark and mysterious yet sweet and cunning. Mingi knew right away he wasn’t someone your family particularly wanted for you, not as a friend and much less as a boyfriend. They hated Mingi’s lifestyle and were confused on how you could be so enthralled with someone like him. Someone who barely made it in college, who was obsessed with making it big in the music industry and would rather focus on that than a promising career. However, the way he spoke about his passion for music made you believe in him and for a second you did, until a couple months turned into a year, and a year turned into 2 and now at almost 3 years barely anything had changed. You convinced yourself it was fine, but reality was catching up to you quickly.
Truth was, you and Mingi were broke, you could barely afford rent and food was scarce majority of the time. Frugal wasn’t even the word to describe how tight you two were with money. You hated this life, coming from a well off family, you had never struggled with money this way. You never minded working to earn your money, but even while working it still was not enough. With your last required courses to graduate, you had to cut back on your hours, leaving only Mingi working full time. The little amount of money he made, he’d spend on music equipment and recording studio fees that he clearly couldn't afford. At some point the little amount of money you had saved up, you had to start using to buy groceries and home essentials. By the time you rechecked your savings you had nothing.
***
Your body cried for sleep, the longer you tried to stay awake the more your body fought against you that eventually you fell asleep on the couch. Around 2:30 in the morning, the front door unlocks and in walks Mingi, quietly looking around for you. When he doesn’t hear any noise he pads further into the room. He’s startled when he spots your sleeping form on the couch. Clearly you had been waiting for him, and he felt terribly bad that he had blown you off at some random club that you had never been to. Mingi was good at being impulsive and acting on his emotions rather than thinking logically. Of course he was pissed that the gig host had ripped him off but that didn’t mean had the right to ditch you; and only now that his cloudy head was clearing up did he realize that.
He sighs and leans over the back of the couch, resting a hand on your arm. He shakes you slightly, slowly you rise from your slumber. You squint, waiting for your eyes to adjust and focus on the person in front of you. When you realize it’s Mingi you fly off the couch, backing away from him. “Ba-” He starts, “It’s almost 3am and now you wanna ‘baby’ me?” He straightens up and throws his head back in annoyance, knowing exactly where this was going. “I’m tired, I don't want to do this right now.” He grumbles walking towards the bedroom. 
Sadness fills you at his dismissive behavior; there's no way he doesn’t care, you thought. Your lips contort into a frown, “Mingi…what is wrong with you?” You say quietly, the knot returning to your throat. You trail after him once again like a lost puppy. He shakes his head, “nothing princess.” But you didn’t believe him. He pulls his shirt off and looks at your small frame lingering by the door. He takes in your disheveled appearance and his gaze softens. “I’m sorry baby, I shouldn’t have left you there.” He says, his heart feeling heavy at your sadness. You had nothing to do with how his gigs went, therefore, you should be the last person he should be getting mad at. When you sniffle slightly and look down he walks over to you, his large frame engulfing you completely. You inhale the smell of weed and faded cologne in, feeling yourself get drunk off him; and just like that things were okay again for the time being.
***
Not even a week later you and Mingi were caught in a screaming match. “It’s not my fault these places don't pay me.” He argues.” You stared at him hard, feeling your eyes twitch from pure anger. “Actually it is your fault, cause you keep agreeing like a dumbass not knowing what you’re getting into. And you look even dumber buying more recording equipment that we clearly cannot afford.” This time you argued over the fact that he hadn’t gotten paid yet again, while he kept spending money on useless equipment. “Well it is my money.” Mingi retorts desperately trying to find a way to put this argument to bed. Your eyes were wide as you stared at him, you felt completely hopeless. “Well if it's your money then you find a way to pay for this apartment, and do everything yourself because I am leaving.” 
In full panic, anger and everything in between you stormed into your shared room. You pull a pink duffle bag that your parents had gifted you and begin stuffing all the clothes and belongings you could fit. You run back into the kitchen and grab a trash bag to throw makeup, jewelry and shoes; everything else that couldn’t fit into the straining duffle bag.
You aggressively wipe your tears, pausing when you spot Mingi blocking the doorway. “Where are you going?” He asks, his eyes slightly wide, “I don’t want to be here anymore” You mumbled, attempting to zip up the bag that was clearly too over filled. He shakes his head, panic rising within him, he comes close to you and you step back. He shakes his head rapidly, “You’re not leaving me!” He screams, making you flinch. His breathing is heavy, tears pooling in his eyes. “Please baby, I’m sorry. You’re right, okay, you’re right.” He begs, big hands reaching for yours but you pull back. 
“Mingi…stop it, I’m tired of the excuses okay? I‘m tired.” You say quietly. You eyes can’t meet his, scared that you were going to change your mind. “I just don’t see us going anywhere anymore…” His brows furrow at your words, “what are you talking about.” He whimpers,
“Stop it!” You yell, he takes a step back startled at your loudness. “Stop acting like you don’t see how shitty our lives are. I need you to get your shit together please.” You wipe the tears that are still running down your cheeks, “Be realistic for once Mingi.” You grab your duffel to which Mingi grips onto the traps as well, blocking you off from the door. “Let go.” You grit, yanking the bag from his grip. He stumbles back slightly. He watches you leave, eyesight blurry from the salty liquid, “you’ll be b-back.” He chokes up. But he actually wasn’t sure about that anymore.
Mingi fell in love with you from the second he saw you, you were just so…you. It was a feeling he couldn’t describe. He always knew the thing he liked the most about you two as a pair was the fact that you were so opposite. He had tattooed his hands and neck with some of the prettiest tattoos you had ever seen. He always wore rings that decorated his big hands all pretty, and of course the staple that was his black polish.
You on the other hand were so clean for lack of a better word. The colors you wore were always as bright as the sky on a sunny day, in contrast to Mingi’s daily color palette. You were like a breath of fresh air, and he wanted you, he craved you. Eventually he got you, the road was rough with your parent’s disapproval and what not, but you two persevered; he got you to move in with him and his plans on making it big in the music industry were definitely going, except he was getting nowhere; it was like a journey with no end.
Mingi felt that no matter what he tried, however he tried it, there was always something in the way. He was paying for studio sessions, recording song after song to release and perform at gigs, and even though he spent loads of money on those studio fees he hoped for the day that he wouldn't have to worry about money anymore. But the process was easier said than done because he knew how tired you were of him not being able to give it a rest. Aside from all of that and being aware of your feelings he always thought you’d stick around for a bit longer for him to show you he could do it.
He saw the way he had drained the life out of you, your once glowy skin had been replaced by dullness. Your once vibrant eyes had turned sad accompanied by dark circles and bags. He had ruined you.
***
Today marks 1 month since you left. Mingi had been rotting away in his apartment, only leaving the house to work, then coming back, showering, eating whatever he could find and going to bed. He had lost count of how many times he had called and texted you. But it seemed that you had blocked him. He didn’t know what to do with himself, he hadn’t spoken to his friends or gone out in a while. He’d cut himself off completely. “Get your shit together.” Your words echoed, your pretty face stained with tears as you looked up with hurt in your eyes ingrained in his brain. 
Mingi laid on the couch, eyes dazed off into space from the blunt he had smoked. When all of a sudden…“Mingi?” A voice called faintly in his head, “Jesus Mingi.” The voice said again except this time he felt hands shake him. He looked at his friend who removed him from the daydream. 
“What the hell is going on man? I’ve been trying to reach you.” Yunho said desperately, “I thought you were dead.” The panicked friend said, looking around with wide eyes at the mess in the apartment. “She- she left.” Mingi mumbles, sticking his face into his hands. Yunho’s face softens, “oh-.” Had he known, he would have approached him in a more gentle manner. 
“I’m sorry Mingi.” It’s the only thing that comes to mind. Awkward silence fills the air, Yunho having no idea what else to say. “How’s it going?” Mingi suddenly asks. Yunho shrugs, “some group that played frequently at Cyberpunk Club got a record deal a couple weeks back. You’ve missed a lot man.” At Yunho’s words, Mingi’s heart drops, of course, he thought. It would never be him, and now that you were gone it didn’t matter to him anymore; he’d given up. 
Mingi sniffles slightly, standing up and adjusting his dark jeans, “I have work in an hour so imma head out now.” He didn’t mean to be dismissive but he couldn’t bear thinking about his losses right now. The dark haired man stands up, a perplexed look on his face. “Oh right, well there’s a party tonight let me know if you’ll be there. It could be good, you know, to get out of the house for a while.” Yunho wears a tight lipped smile searching Mingi’s face for some type of life or excitement but he gets nothing. “Yeah I’ll let you know.” Yunho waves goodbye and closes the door quietly behind him leaving Mingi with his thoughts again. He grabs his phone and dials you again, your call has been forwarded to automated vo- he hangs up, annoyance rising up within him. It was pointless now, you weren’t going to speak to him ever again, he accepted defeat and grabbed the small backpack he always carried to work and headed over.
The strip mall was busy, no surprise as it was only Saturday. The customers came in periodic waves, right now Mingi sat in boredom as a single customer sat in the shop sipping on her smoothie. Mingi rests his chin in the palm of his hand, scrolling through your instagram. You may have blocked his number but you had forgotten him on social media. In that moment he’s about to message you when suddenly a loud cackle catches his attention. He looks up expecting to see a random person walking by, but his heart drops when he spots you. As always you were dressed in light colors, you looked good, you looked better. His heart sinks lower, bile rising up his throat the longer you lingered outside with your group of friends. 
Your glow had returned, you looked so alive and happy; he was selfish so in a way he hated that. This was his chance to speak to you, since you had been neglecting him for so long now, not even bothering to come by to pick up some of the stuff you had left behind. He hops off the stool, smoothening down the apron he wore. He steps outside, the door opening catching your attention, your face falls at the slightly disheveled state of your once lover. 
Your friends all fall silent, eyes drifting between Mingi and you. “Um, I’ll catch up to you guys, give me a sec.” You say, the closest girl standing to you, places her hand on your forearm. “Hey ar-” she starts but you wave her off, “it’s okay, I’ll catch up.” You say plastering a smile. You watch as your friends walk away, when there’s decent distance between you and them you turn to Mingi. 
“Mingi-.” You looked up at him with big eyes, a wave of sadness overcoming you. “Hey, glad to know you’re doing okay. Also didn’t know you had guards now.” He says. He doesn’t mean for it to come out sounding aggressive but it does. Surprise flashes in your face momentarily at his harsh tone, but could you blame him?  
Deciding you didn’t want to deal with this you turn around to walk away but he stops you, wrapping his hand around your bicep. “Wait, I’m sorry. I’ve been on edge.” He apologizes, you nod silently, waiting for him to continue.
“I just want to talk about…us.” Mingi pleads with big eyes, you pause for a moment. Your eyes linger on the clear lid of your coffee cup, when you don’t say anything Mingi proceeds. “I just wish you’d given me a chance to talk it out with you, but you just upped and left.” He sounds slightly irritated, and that’s when you crack, “no disrespect Mingi, but that’s very audacious of you. Every single argument or discussion we've had about this you have told me the same thing yet you don’t bother to change it. My patience ran thin.” 
Mingi tongues his cheek, sticking his hands in his pockets and looking out into the parking lot; deep down he knew you were right. He stays silent for a moment, your words hanging in the air, “I just want you back, we can work on it together.” You shake your head, when he sees you take a step back his hands reach out for you again, hovering above your shoulders, never quite making contact, “don’t leave please.” He begged, people walking by turned to look at the exchange. “Mingi.” You whisper yell looking around slightly embarrassed at the unnecessary attention. “Can we not do this?”
“Come over so we can talk please. At least give me that and I won’t bother you again.” He promises, but you and him both knew it was a lie. “No matter how much I want to get back with you, I won’t until you get your shit together.” You remind him, “and about me coming over…I don’t know.” Mingi frowns at your words, “do you have someone else already is that it?” You’re shocked at the way he jumps to conclusions. “Mingi that is not it, it’s just…kind of weird if we are trying to get over each other.” He rolls his eyes, “speak for yourself, but I’m not trying to get over you. I won’t stop until I get you alone at least one more time. There’s so much we need to talk about.” You wanted to stand on business but for some reason he always had you giving in. You toss your head back, a slight groan ripping from your throat. You nod your head ‘yes’, swallowing hard and meeting his eyes, “okay.” Your voice is airy from slight nerves.
He watches your back as you walk away from him once more; except this time under different circumstances. When he steps back into the smoothie shop, his face drops at the scowl his manager gives him and the long line of customers waiting for their order to be taken. “Glad to know you resolve your relationship problems while on the clock.” The stubby man says to him.
After his shift Mingi flops on his bed, he closes his eyes, the clear picture of your face behind his eyelids, and he smiles sheepishly. You two had left it that you’d be the one letting him know when you were free given your tight schedule. Mixed in with his happiness is a tinge of anger and fear. Anger because suddenly you didn’t have time for him and fear because he didn’t want you seeing anyone else, you could’ve been lying about that for all he knew. He whips his phone out when it vibrates, hoping it’d be you but it’s Yunho telling him to come to the party. He dials your number for a second time that day and when it goes straight to voicemail the slight happiness he felt fades away. Why hadn’t you unblocked him? He wonders. His mind races, desperately looking for reasons to feel better but when nothing comes to mind he gets up abruptly and changes out of his work clothes and into a casual outfit.
***
Now here was Mingi at a random house party, a girl on one side of him as he conversed with Wooyoung Yunho, and Hongjoong. “I heard your ex girl moved into a nice ass apartment in the city.” Wooyoung says, peeling a pistachio and tossing it in his mouth. He looks at Mingi waiting for him to say something but he keeps his reaction bottled in, she didn’t mention that, he thinks. Yunho slaps Wooyoung’s arm, bringing a hand under his chin and waving it, signaling Wooyoung to cut it out. “Sensitive topic I see,” Yunho rolls his eyes as the shorter man keeps nagging on. “Nah it doesn’t matter.” Mingi suddenly says, one of his hands traveling further down to rest on the random girl's waist. Mingi felt disappointed in himself, angry that the girl next to him wasn’t you. But since you had yet to unblock him, he figured you wouldn’t anyway and said a big fuck it to the universe and got himself a temporary distraction.
Wooyoung smirks, “yeah it’s probably daddy’s money.” He says, Mingi chuckles, sipping on his beer, “definitely daddy’s money.” Mingi disses; Yunho looks at him with a confused expression, this was the same man that was crying over you a couple hours ago. 
“Crazy you were hitting that Mingi, should’ve kept her around if she has big bucks like that.” At Wooyoung’s words, Mingi’s face drops, “you better fucking watch it.” He points a finger at the dark haired man. “Who gives a shit man you’re not with her anymore.” He presses on, Mingi stands up and leaves. Yunho shakes his head at Wooyoung. “Shut the fuck up rat, you always ruin everything.” He spits, Wooyoung chuckles, sinking into the worn down couch sipping on his beer, clearly satisfied at the reaction. 
Mingi walks home not taking a second longer to process what was said at the party. He felt icky at the fact that he had even gone. He hated the way they spoke about you, if only they knew how he truly felt for you maybe they wouldn’t have said that. To him you were more than a gorgeous face, more than sex more than anything physical; you were the love of his life.
***
A couple of days after the encounter with Mingi at the mall, you sat on your couch, phone in hand, contemplating whether you wanted to call him or not. You knew how Mingi was, it was clear he was desperate and since you had taken a while to reach out to him the poor guy was losing it. In all honesty you were afraid that talking to him again would have you going back and history would repeat itself. After breaking up with him the first couple of weeks sucked. You stayed in bed all day, dazed off in class and took multiple breaks during your lectures to cry in the bathroom. You missed him so much, and a month later you still did, but you were better; like a heavy load was lifted off your shoulders. You hated that this was the reality you had to face, no matter how much you craved him and wanted him back, it was not ideal.
You sighed, placing your head in your hands, “I just have to do it.” You whispered, hyping yourself up. Here’s my address, just let the front desk person you’re here to see me, they’ll let you through. See you at 5. You pressed send, hands shaking slightly. You felt your lunch coming back up, a pit forming within you. You took a shower, dressed in something cute and casual, why were you getting ready? You had no idea, actually you did, you just liked lying to yourself.
“Good afternoon miss, Song Mingi is here to see you.” The front desk person said into the phone, “that’s okay let him through.” You reply, hanging up and wiping your clammy hands on your pants.
Pounding on your door makes you jump slightly. When you pull the door open Mingi stands there. “Oh hey.” You greet in a breathy tone trying your best to be casual, you pull the door open wider. He steps through, immediately looking around at your apartment that was nowhere near close to what your shared space looked like. “Nice place.” He says admiring the art decorating the walls, and gawking at the view into the city. 
While he was busy with that you took a second to drink him. As always he was dressed in dark colors, you could tell he had messily applied some eyeliner and shadow on his eyes, adding to the grunge look he sported. He looked extremely good, and you wanted to slap yourself. “Thank you, my parents helped me out.” You locked the door and followed him further into the living room area. “Okay Mingi, I don’t mean to sound hasty but why are you truly here?” You looked at him curiously, interested in what he had to say and praying it wasn’t the same bull crap he’d said many times before. “I want you back.” He said boldly, “Min-.” He suddenly stands up, looming over your sitting form, your eyes go wide with surprise, “no! You don’t understand how much I need you in my life. I’ve been fucking miserable since you left. You got me reflecting on my entire fucking existence. Trying to figure out what I can do to fix this. I’m in love with you, you know that already, but I’m convinced you’re the love of my life and I'd be willing to give up my music if that means I get to have you back.” You sat there speechless, your legs and arms completely numb feeling like you weren't allowed to move. The man who always felt sheepish speaking his emotions to you was suddenly boasting in your living room about how you were the love of his life and you didn’t know what to do. He stares at you with puppy eyes, waiting for you to say something, his face falling at your extended silence. You stand up to face him, your soft hands coming up to his flushed cheeks. You watch him melt into your touch, “I know that right now I’m not really worth it. But please let me show you.” He opens his eyes back up, his big brown orbs boring into yours.
Your teeth sink into your pink lips and you nod up at him. You push on your tippy toes and he leans down to meet your lips; you had folded. Large hands come to grip your biceps to pull you slightly back. You fall back flat on your feet looking up at him with that stare that always drove him insane, the very one he fell in love with way back when. He pulls you back in, pressing his lips against yours again, the kiss grows hungrier as the seconds tick by. 
He’s tugging on your sweatpants that were a size too big, easily sliding them off you. They pool at your feet, his hands come and grip on the flesh of your ass, his cold rings leaving a slight indentation on the supple skin. You groan into his mouth, enjoying the feeling of him all over you. “Mingi.” You whimper, pulling away from him to look into his dark eyes, “did you miss me princess?” He coos lowly, you pout and nod all morals gone out the door; you just wanted him. 
You didn’t care about your decision on the status of your relationship or if this would be the last time you saw him like this, that could all wait; what mattered was right now. He pulls you along with him, he freely navigates your apartment, finding your bedroom with no problem. He kisses you again, cornering you into the bed, his large hands cup your face pulling you as close as he could. You grip his wrists pulling them away from your face and pushing him slightly back to take off the bleach designed hoodie he wore. His necklaces fall back against his smooth chest as he pulls the thick hoodie off. He tosses the item somewhere in the carpet of the room before eagerly pulling your tank top off. You sink to your knees, your heart pounding in your chest. 
He looks down at you, the liner and shadow somehow making him ten times more attractive. Your thighs press together, your fragile fingers working over time to get the belt off, the buckle is so thick you struggle to undo it. Finally unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down his cock bounces fully erect from the makeout. His hand slides up and down the expanse of his thick cock, “open.” He murmurs, guiding it between your parted lips.
The sheer size stretches your mouth as far as it can go, you fully struggle to take him in. The longer your mouth is open, the more spit pools. You wrap your lips around the tip and suck lightly, coating him in your slobber. Slowly you take him further until he hits the back of your throat, you gag slightly and he groans. His fingers brush your hair back, watching as you struggle to take him all the way back, “good girl baby. Just a little bit more for me.” He says gently placing a hand on the crown of your head to push further into your mouth. You gag again, tears stinging your eyes and spit running down your chin and neck, soaking the edge of the bra you wore. He bucks slightly when you flatten your tongue to run deliciously on the underside of him. 
The more your tongue runs on him the more spit coats him, he lets out a choked breath at the sudden change, speeding up his hips slightly until your hands delicately press against his thighs to push back. A thick string of saliva connects from your lips to his tip, finally breaking off when you pull further away. You suck in a breath, trying to calm down the nausea roaming in your stomach from your gag reflex. “You okay?” Mingi hums cupping your wet chin to look up at him. You nod and he smiles, you take him back in your mouth, your small hand working on what you couldnt fit. You take him down your throat. His breathing picks up once again, eyes rolling to the back of his head, when you try to pull back he holds you still. The thick head of his cock lodged in your throat. Finally he lets you pull away, leaving you practically wheezing for air. He helps you up and you rest your back on the bed. Mingi hovers above you, his eyes taking you in as if he hadn’t seen this view a hundred times before, but he always made sure to appreciate it. Mingi tugs your bra down the undergarment now resting around your waist, he plays with the hard buds but you needed him now, so you pull him onto you. Ignoring you were still in your underwear you move it to the side desperately, as if you didn’t have all the time in the world. You take him in your hand guiding him into your wet hole. 
He looks down looking where you two would be connecting. Pushing in, you grimace at the slight burn from not having him in you for a long time. You squirm the more he goes in. He holds you down, fully diving into you, “shhh it’s okay baby, you’re taking me so well. My good girl.” 
When he hits your hilt you groan, “Mingi please.” He looks at your already fucked out face. He sets a brutal pace, your eyes roll when he hits a particularly sensitive spot. You moan loudly, panting from the lewd activity. Your mouth drops open, and your back arches, his grip on your waist tightens as he pulls you to meet his hips. Your eyes roll back, nails desperately digging into his strong forearms. One of his hands drops from your waist, his tattooed fingers coming up to your mouth. They feel heavy on your wet tongue, he speeds up dragging his fingers out and running his hand down your chin to let it rest on your throat. Your body jolts with every single thrust, inching slightly up the bed every time his hips meet yours.
Mingi’s mind's going a million miles per hour, but at the same time he can't focus on anything else but you under him. He suddenly feels a wave of anger wash over him. His hand tightening on your throat causing your breath to hitch. You felt so high and far away, his dominance causing another rush of slickness to come out of you. “Listen to yourself. So fucking wet.” He groans, pistoning his hips into you. He was angry, angry at mostly himself, but also angry at the thought of you leaving him and finding someone else. “You’re not made for anyone else but me.” He pants, he was selfish with you, you were his everything, and he wanted to make sure you knew; even if this was the last time he’d get to have you like this. “Mi-Mingi, fuck.” You gasp, he suddenly pulls out and urgently flips you on your belly. He hikes your hips up, pulling the ruined cotton panties down and pressing on your back to deepen the arch. He enters you again, sliding in easily. At this point you felt incoherent, all you felt was him. His cock head hits the spongy spot deep within you, it leaves you trembling and seeing stars. 
You whimper loudly into the plush sheets beneath you, trying to clutch onto something for dear life. “Good fucking girl baby. Take it, y-you’re doing such a good job.” You gasp at his lewd words. You felt so full, like you could burst at any moment, “fucking play with yourself slut. Make yourself cum all over my dick.” At his words  your shaky hand reaches between your legs, pressing your clit the way you liked. You suddenly feel so aware of the sensations coursing through your body, from the feeling of Mingi’s heavy hands and rings on your warm skin to the delicious stretch of his cock, you were close to seeing god. 
“You’re about to cum huh baby?” He asks with a mocking tone, “yes Mingi yes, I’m- cum, I’m gon-.” Your words die in your mouth as he clutches onto your hips driving himself into you, your hands reach back to rest on his pubic area trying to get him to slow down, instead he grabs your wrists and pulls you slightly off the bed. He pistons his hips hard, hitting your spot repeatedly, before suddenly slowing down and focusing on deepening himself, the pressure of his cock nestled against your cervix is enough to send you over. Your vision goes white and your ears begin to ring. “Fuck- fuck.” Mingi moans, he cums, unloading himself deep within your velvety walls. He holds your shaking frame, keeping himself warm in you.
When you open your eyes, your vision is slightly hazy, you squint to focus on your surroundings. You turn your head to look at the man who was still deep in you. His gaze is on the ceiling, still recovering from his orgasm. His breathing becomes labored, he sucks in small breaths looking back down at you, you notice the tears pooling in his eyes. Your gaze softens, “Mingi oh my god.” You say softly, your arms come under you to push yourself up. His flaccid cock slips out of you. You cup his face, turning him to look at you. “Hey why are you crying?” You ask even though you had an idea as to why. He sniffles, looking down at the floor, his arms wrap around your waist and he pulls you into him. 
“Mingi?” You insist, you needed him to say something, anything. “I just don’t know if this is the last time I'll see you. Have you like this, and be this close to you. I don’t think you understand how badly I don’t want to lose you.” He cries into your moistened skin and suddenly you don’t know what to say or do. “I love you Mingi.” It’s the first thing that slips out, he looks up all doe eyed. “Come here,” you say, flipping the duvet to slip under it. He follows suit, you ignore the wetness that has now smeared all over your inner thighs. Your head comes to rest on his chest, fingers playing with the stacked chains around his neck. “I love you baby, but please say something.” He whispers, sniffling slightly. “Hey relax,” you whisper, propping yourself up to look at him. Your hands run through his dark hair, “I’m not going anywhere.” 
Now here you were laying in bed once again with the person that had once ruined you emotionally, yet you couldn’t let him go. You didn’t know what was going to happen, but that was tomorrow's problem.
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Taglist: @byuntrash101
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slut4thebroken · 1 year ago
Text
sex pollen
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Pairing | Jason Todd × vigilante!reader
Summary | You tried to help Jason when something went wrong on patrol, but it didn’t go the way you thought it would.
Warnings | Sexual content, 18+, unprotected sex, breeding, non consensual sex technically, cause he doesn’t know she likes it, multiple orgasms, ruined orgasms, public sex, rough sex, sex pollen, I want him to rail me like this tbh, angst, fluff.
Words | 3.6k
Notes | Finally posting the fic from this post hehe. If anyone mentions how the quality gets worse after the smut ends, I’ll cry. That’s a threat. (Also imagine that gif is him pinning you against a wall lmao)
Ao3 link | <3
Masterlist
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“Jason?” You gasped as he used his body to press you against the dirty alley wall. Even through the suit his bulge was obvious. His helmet had been previously discarded and you shivered at the feeling of his breath against your lips. 
“Jason, what the hell are you doing?” You all but whimpered, making him growl and place a hand on your neck. 
“Stop fucking saying my name like that.” He hissed, pushing his hips harder into yours. Your breath hitched at the wild look in his eyes, the color almost completely gone. He squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip on your neck. The groan he released sounded pained and you wished you knew what was happening so you could help him. Suddenly ripping himself away from you, his hands went to his hair, pulling on the ends as he let out another pained moan. 
“Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me how to help.” You said softly, pushing yourself off the wall to grab his hands and remove them from his hair. He flinched away from your grip and took a step back. 
“Go.” He muttered, not looking at you. 
“What?”
“Go! I can’t- You…” His chest heaved as he tugged on his hair again. “You have to leave.” He gritted. 
“I’m not leaving you like this.” 
“I can’t control it! Please-” He cried. 
“Control what?” You took another step toward him and placed your hand on his cheek. His eyes snapped open and he roughly grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand off of his face. You stared at him in shock, not used to this behavior, and he squeezed his eyes shut as his grip tightened around your wrist, making you wince. When he opened them again, they were significantly darker. 
All of a sudden, he was doing a move he’s done to you a couple times during training, and you were flat on the floor in seconds. He turned you onto your stomach, then straddled your thighs, not being able to control the way his hips bucked forward, pushing his crotch against your ass. 
“Jason, what-“ As you tried to push yourself up, a strong hand pressed between your shoulder blades, forcing you back down with a grunt. He was rutting against your ass intentionally now, growling at the friction and pushing down on your back harder to make sure you couldn’t wriggle free. You could feel arousal pooling in your stomach from his behavior, not used to this side of him yet. 
You’ve been dating for a while now and while you are sexually active, so far you both have kept it pretty vanilla. You were scared he’d think you were disgusting or weird so you never talked about it. You only mentioned the more tame things like light bondage or choking, choosing to limit the hard kinks to your fantasies for when you’re alone. 
He quickly grew impatient and removed his hand as he shuffled down your legs just enough to have access to your ass. He took the skin tight fabric of your suit in both hands and ripped it apart, opening the entire crotch area. You let out a choked gasp that turned into a moan when he did the same thing with your underwear, ripping them in half so he had complete access. 
“Jason, what are you-“ A hand was on the back of your neck now, squeezing the sides and forcing your cheek into the dirty pavement. But you understood that it was a warning, so you stayed quiet, listening to fabric rustling behind you until you felt the blunt head of his cock against your folds. He didn’t bother teasing you like he normally would before breaching your hole with a low groan. You cried out, scrambling for purchase on the floor beneath you, struggling to adjust to his size without the usual amount of prep, despite how wet you were. But he paid no mind to it as he started rutting against you in shallow thrusts. 
“Fuck- I’m sorry,” He said through a moan. “I’m sorry, baby, I can’t help it- I just need this- need you.” He whined, desperately bucking his hips into you as he held you down. 
You tried to relax your body and not tense up around him, but the stretch burned almost painfully and you couldn’t help it. You just had to wait until you became aroused enough to loosen up a little. It didn’t seem like that would take long though- he’s always managed to hit the perfect spot inside you with little effort. Your clit throbbed desperately for stimulation but you couldn’t fit a hand between your body and the ground with him pinning you down. 
His thrusts became more frenzied and erratic as he neared his orgasm, far  sooner than normal, and part of you didn’t want it to be over yet but another part was glad your burning hole would get relief from the stretch soon.  
His thrusts slowed and he fucked you uncomfortably deep, pushing up against your cervix as hot come filled you up. You let out a low whine, listening to his moans and whimpers. 
“Jay?” You asked quietly, when he didn’t move or speak for a moment. You felt his cock twitch inside of you and he took a deep breath before dragging out and tentatively pushing back in. He cursed under his breath and picked up the pace, resuming the speed of his thrusts. You let out a choked sound in surprise and he moaned quietly, speeding up even more. 
“Fuck- I know. I’m sorry.” He replied to your strained whimpers. “It's not enough… It- it still hurts, baby, I’m sorry. Just a little more.” He whined. 
As he grew even needier, he started a brutal pace, slamming his hips against your ass with each thrust. His come made an obscene squelching sound as his cock forced it out of you, some falling down to your clit and some spattering onto the ground between your legs. 
You could feel yourself nearing an orgasm and you tried to force a hand under your body, but let out a whimper when you were unsuccessful. 
“Jay,” You sobbed, making him let out a choked moan. 
“Oh fuck- fuck your cunt is squeezing me so tight. You close, baby?” He moaned breathlessly and you nodded. 
“Jay, please.” You cried out. Despite his acknowledgment of your current state, he made no move to do anything else to get you there. He just moaned in response and fucked you harder, slamming into you almost painfully as he chased his second orgasm. His thrusts barely slowed as he came again, painting your fluttering walls with his seed. When he picked up the pace again, you let out a long needy whine, cunt aching for release. 
He seemed to grow only a little fatigued as he released your neck and completely laid over you, rutting into you desperately and moaning against your ear. 
“God- you feel so fucking good.” He moaned, rolling his hips and grinding against you. “Fuck.” He choked out, leaning up just enough to put you on your elbows so he could pull the zipper of your suit down to your stomach, freeing your breasts. He squeezed them roughly, making your breath hitch, but it was nothing compared to the treatment your nipples received. Desperate fingers worked them over- twisting and pinching them painfully, making sure to use his nails. When you cried out in pain, walls spasming around his length, he came again, lazily rutting into you to get the most out of his orgasm. 
“One more,” He gasped out. “Just need one more, baby, I promise.” He huffed, breath fanning your neck, making you shiver. He released your breasts then, more gently this time, pushed you down by your back, using it as leverage to fuck you faster and harder. The ground was rough against your sensitive nipples, making you hiss in pain but still clench around him. 
You were dangling over the edge with how close you were- your walls pulsing around him and your clit throbbing, in desperate need of attention. But he gave you no relief as he held you down- even your skin tight suit couldn’t give you any friction because of how far he ripped it. Where you could usually feel his balls slapping against you, you just felt air and come. You don’t know what happened to make him like this but his balls being this tight was maybe the only negative. 
The sound of his come being forced out was more obscene than before, and your cheeks burned from the humiliation, bringing you even closer to relief. 
“Oh- Jay, I’m-” You gasped out, feeling so fucking close to your orgasm. When he slammed into you with a loud moan, you fell over the edge, body twitching and walls spasming, but you let out an anguished cry when he didn’t continue the rough thrusts. He stopped and was only occasionally bucking into you as he came, making you try to move your hips under him to get more friction, but he was holding you completely still as his come filled you up for the fourth time. You let out a choked sob, your ruined orgasm bringing tears to your eyes, but he paid no mind to it as he relished in his own pleasure. 
“Fuck.” He groaned, drawing the word out. “So fucking tight.” He started panting as he came down from his orgasm, your quiet sobs falling on deaf ears. When his cock finally stopped twitching inside you, he dragged it out, hissing at the sensitivity. 
Placing his hands on your ass, he spread your cheeks to get a closer look at the mess he made- your torn suit, your abused hole desperately fluttering around nothing, his come covering the floor between your legs and your cunt as it still flowed out of you. 
“Fuck- baby, let me see your tits.” He groaned and you turned your sore body over, cringing at the feeling of laying in his come. He settled on the floor next to your stomach, gaze never leaving your exposed chest. When he lightly brushed his fingers over your red nipples, you hissed in pain. Looking down, you were startled by the sight- your breasts were covered in tiny scratches and crescent indents, but your nipples were completely bright red. 
“Aren’t you a fuckin sight.” He groaned under his breath. When his gaze moved up to your face though, he faltered. He eyed your tear stained cheeks that were red from the rough pavement and his face fell as he recoiled away from you. He quickly tucked himself back in his pants, not able to look at you and you leaned up on your elbows a little, staring at him with furrowed brows. 
“What’s wrong?” You asked quietly. Did he figure out that you liked it? “Jay?” 
“N-nothing, I’m sorry. I- I should…” He stammered out, keeping his gaze anywhere but on you. You leaned up fully and zipped up your suit, wincing as the fabric pressed tight against your sore nipples. “I’ll take you home.” He muttered, standing up to retrieve his helmet. You stood on shaky legs, trying not to show any physical indication that the feeling of his come trickling out of you was turning you on. You limped over to his bike, now fully feeling how sore you were from his rough treatment, but stopped as you stared at the seat. You don’t want to get it all messy… but what else are you supposed to do? He seemed to pick up on your internal debate and he took off his jacket, telling you to wrap it around your hips. You hesitated, but did it anyway, mentally reminding yourself to wash it as soon as you can. 
He stiffened as you wrapped your arms around his torso, making your stomach drop. Does he think I’m disgusting now? You thought, trying not to cry. The realization was enough to distract you from the vibrating seat as the engine roared to life before he drove off, speeding to your apartment. When he arrived, he didn’t even turn off the engine, just stopped and waited. So you climbed off of the bike on shaky legs and waited for him to say something. 
“I- I’m sorry. I’ll call you.” You wished you could see his face. Before you had a chance to respond, he was speeding off, making your stomach drop. You tried not to cry as you limped upstairs into your place, grimacing at the feeling of his come dripping down your thighs inside your suit. 
Maybe it was just a misunderstanding? No… His attitude only changed after he saw your face, desperate for a proper orgasm. It couldn’t have been anything else. 
A few days later you were still waiting for his call. You didn’t go on patrol for multiple reasons. The main one being that you couldn’t get rid of the nausea in your stomach from what happened. But also because he usually picks you up to go with him, and he hasn’t done that yet so he obviously doesn’t want to see you. You sat by your phone for three straight days, waiting for his name to pop up on your screen, and with every day that went by, you lost just a little more hope that he would call— that he wasn’t completely disgusted by you and wanting to break up. 
Eventually you decided you’d had enough, so you called him. It only rang twice before you were sent to voicemail, making bile rise up your throat. Another two days later you decided to go to his house. If he’s ending things, you at least want to fucking know. 
“Let me get this straight… She found you after Ivy dosed you, you couldn’t control yourself, fucked her, then acted like a complete ass, took her home, and haven’t talked to her since?” Roy asked and Jason nodded hesitantly. “How fucking stupid are you?”
“Excuse me?”
“Fucking listen to yourself, Jason. You fucked her, then barely said two words to her as you dropped her off—not even attempting any kind of after care after something so intense— then didn’t even send her a text. You’re fucking psychotic.” His face fell as Roy explained it to him. 
“Oh… Oh.” Jason said through a breath, staring at the wall behind him with wide eyes. “Dude, I fucked up-”
“No shit, asshole.” 
“Oh my god what did I do?” He muttered, frozen. 
You paced outside his door, trying to psych yourself up to knock. “You can do this.” You muttered, shaking your head to try and clear any doubts. “It’s just Jason. You’ve taken on way worse than him- this is a piece of cake.” Despite your sure tone, your stomach was twisting with anxiety. “Okay just do it. Just do it.” You said, raising your first but immediately lowering it. You raised it again and waited, taking a deep breath as you moved your hand toward the wood. Before you could knock, it was being opened and you stared in shock when you were met with Roy. 
“Uh…” You glanced between his face and your fist, then quickly lowered it. 
“Sorry… I was on my way out. He’s in there though.” He said, using his thumb to point over his shoulder. 
“Okay- okay. Cool.” He left the door open and slowly walked past you but you were frozen, staring inside. 
“You good?” He asked, raising his brows. 
“Me?” You scoffed, giving an unconvincing smile. “Totally. I’m so good- perfect actually.”
“Okay… Are you gonna go in then?” He looked between you and the open door. 
“Yep. I- I’m going…” You took a single, tentative step toward the door, then froze again. 
“Stop being a pussy and go curse him out already.” He said, making you turn to him with wide eyes. “Go.” 
“I am. Give me a fucking second.” You hissed. 
“Roy? Why didn’t you close the-” Jason was on the other side of the doorway now, staring at you in shock. Neither of you noticed as Roy left. “…Do you want to come in?” He asked and you nodded, hesitantly stepping inside. 
“You didn’t call.” You said, trying to keep all of the emotion out of your voice. You crossed your arms as he closed the door and turned to you, shifting his weight between his feet. 
“I’m sorry, I was… busy?” You stared at eyes that wouldn’t meet your own, quickly growing angry from his response. 
“Fuck you, Todd.” You scoffed walking toward the door, but he lightly grabbed your arm to stop you. 
“I’m sorry… Are you okay?” When he let go of your arm, you turned to face him. 
“If you want to break up just say that.” You muttered, trying to keep your voice steady. You looked away from him as you waited for his response. 
“What? I don’t- I don’t want to break up. Do you want to break up?” He asked, making you look at him again, this time with a glare. 
“I’m not the one who promised to call and then didn’t. I’m not the one who- who left after… that.” He stayed silent so you sighed, then continued. “Look, if you think I’m weird now or don’t want anything to do with me then fine. But you could at least fucking tell me.” You snapped, feeling your eyes start to burn with unwanted tears. 
“What the fuck are you talking about?” He asked, brows furrowed. 
“Jason, I'm not in the mood for whatever you’re trying to do.” You sighed. 
“No- what the fuck are you talking about? Why the hell would I think that?” You stared at him, waiting for him to laugh and tell you he was kidding and that you’re right, but he stayed silent. 
“Because I- I… liked it- when that probably shouldn’t have been something I was meant to enjoy.” You muttered, gaze moving to your feet. 
“No you didn’t.” He said simply, making you look back up at him with furrowed brows.
“Jason, what-“ 
“You were crying and I hurt you. I- I… raped you... I figured you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.” He said quietly, crossing his arms over his chest and averting his gaze. 
Oh. Okay that makes a little more sense. 
“That’s why you got all cold and left? Cause you thought you did that?” You asked softly, comfortingly. 
“I don’t think I did that,” You cut him off before he could say the rest. 
“Jason, I get that you were a little out of it and frankly I’m still not even completely sure I understand what happened, but did you seriously not notice that I liked it? I literally came from just that and no other stimulation.” You tried not to let yourself get embarrassed by the confession. 
“But- you were crying…” He stared at you with furrowed brows, trying to find the hidden truth behind your words. 
“Because when I came, so did you and you pretty much stopped moving so it was a ruined orgasm. I wasn’t crying before that.” He was silent for a moment and you tried not to squirm as you anxiously awaited his response. 
“Oh.” He said under his breath, bringing a hand up to anxiously rub the back of his neck. “I’m sorry for ruining it.” He said sheepishly. 
“It was still hot.” You shrugged and his eyes widened just the slightest amount. “All of it was really…” You muttered, cheeks heating up. 
“All of it?” You nodded. “All of it?” 
“Oh my god- Yes, Jason. All of it.” You said, getting even more embarrassed. 
“But you were on the ground in an alley…” The way he said it made it sound like a question. 
“Yeah and I took a very thorough shower after. Especially because of how much you came, it was literally everywhere.” This time, he was the one to blush at your crude words. “You wanna tell me what that was about now?” 
“Ivy.” He shrugged, but there was hesitation in his voice. 
“You confronted Ivy alone?” Just by his expression, it was obvious that he knew he was in trouble. 
“I was just looking into something and she ambushed me. I didn’t think I’d actually see her.” He defended. “I would’ve brought you if I thought something was gonna go down.” The confirmation that he wouldn’t voluntarily be that stupid eased your nerves a bit. He suddenly took a step forward and lightly cupped your cheek as his gaze trailed all over your face. 
“I’m sorry I left you alone, that was wrong. I wasn't thinking straight and I know that’s not an excuse but,” You cut him off with a kiss, pressing your body to his and bringing your arms up to wrap over his shoulders as you stood on your toes to reach his height.  When you pulled back, both of you were panting quietly, eyes still closed and foreheads pressed together. 
“You don’t have to apologize, but I forgive you.” You whispered through a breath. 
“Good.” He pulled back a little, so you opened your eyes, finding a mischievous expression on his face. “If that’s done, I think we need to have a lengthy conversation about all of the kinks you’ve been hiding.” He teased, making your face heat up. “Starting with whatever it was that made you come from penetration alone because I will be doing a lot more of that from now on.”
“Oh my god.” You muttered, leaning forward to bury your face in the crook of his neck with a small smile. 
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wordsarelife · 6 months ago
Text
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐢 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐯𝐲, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐲
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pairing: theo nott x fem!reader
summary: theo and you seem to be a pretty good match, until things go out of control
warnings: underage drinking, cursing, trauma (bad relationship with parents), sexual references, depression, fighting, mention of death
note: this is absolutely the most gut wrenching chapter so far! get ready lmao!! and for the people still wondering who leo is: you will find out in this chapter!!
previous part | masterlist | next part
theo walked you both through a forest, taking weird paths that he claimed to be shortcuts. you giggled anytime he almost fell over a branch and he laughed deeply and almost lovingly as you stumbled against him a few times, because it was already dark.
at the party he walked you around, introducing you to foreign people and it made you heart flutter, that he did not introduce you with your name alone.
"curtis" he said when a blonde and tall boy entered his field of vision "this is my friend, y/n"
"hi, theo's friend y/n" curtis greeted and you smiled up at his tall figure.
"is your band playing tonight?" you asked and curtis nodded proudly.
"i'm the keyboarder" he explained "you will love it, i promise"
you normally hated boys with too big of an ego (maybe because of theo), but curtis was actually lovely and seemed like he meant it in a nice way. he reminded you of enzo and you instantely liked him.
"get your lady something to drink, theo" curtis patted the dark haired boys shoulder before he turned back to you "zero manners, huh?"
you giggled and curtis promised to come back and talk to you after the gig. theo walked you to a small table filled to the brim with different kinds of alcohol.
"what do you want?" he asked and you raised your brows as your eyes glided along the table.
you would rather not drink any alcohol, but there was nothing without it. also, you didn't want to explain why, so you just pointed to the bottle of sparkling wine and watched how theo filled a glass for you.
he took a bottle of beer for himself and walked you back into the crowd so you could listen to curtis and his band.
you had to admit that they were really good, but (and you did not say that to theo or curtis when he came to talk to you later) nothing in comparison to cursed legacy.
you sipped your sparkling wine as theo walked you around the party and talked so some of his friends. there were a few you found pretty funny, boys that reminded you of blaise and draco, as they were dancing weirdly across the dance floor.
and curtis' girlfriend was like a carbon copy of april. she joined you as you watched the boys and couldn't hold your laughter at their ridiculous dancing.
"friends like that keep your soul young" lily had said as she sat down next to you. "i'm lily" she added as she noticed your surprised expression "curtis’ girlfriend"
"y/n" you smiled "theo told half the people here to call me pixie, but don't listen to him, he's an idiot. and i know, i have the exact same friends on the other side of the town"
"so a few meters from here?" lily joked and you joined in on her laughter.
"something like that"
"are you theo's girlfriend?" she followed your eyes that were watching him as he was talking to curtis and another boy you hadn't been introducted to yet.
"no" you shook your head. theo turned his head and smiled at you, before he waved for you to come and join the conversation.
"they way he looks at you tells a different story" said lily as she followed you through the crowd.
you shook your head laughing. lily stepped next to curtis, who threw an arm around her body and you stepped next to theo, who, to your surprise, did the same.
later, theo and you started walking back home. you had said goodbye to the people you had met tonight, while theo had to promise both curtis and lily that he would bring you around more often. lily was so drunk that she almost cried as you told her that you were leaving, which made you like her even more.
you loved people that didn't get aggressive or angry when they got drunk, but rather emotional or funny.
"are you sure this is the right way?" you mumbled as you followed theo through the forest, your hand in his as he took paths that looked like they were not supposed to be walked on.
"trust me, baby" theo laughed and the nickname made your heart flutter. you were glad that he couldn't see your face.
to your surprise you came out of the forest right in front of your houses. the moon was shining down on the street, making it easier to see his beautiful face.
"so much music tonight and we didn't even dance"
"you're right" you smiled "what do we do now?"
"i have something on here" theo said as he took out his phone. "it's a song that was supposed to be on the album, but i scrapped last minute"
"oh" you said surprised "what is it about?"
"you"
you laughed unsurely "so pixie dream girl or daddy issues part two?"
"no" theo said quickly as he shook his head "it's not like that, it's not mean"
"why did you scrap it?"
"because leo was helping me to decide which songs were good enough for an album and i didn't want him to see this one"
you smiled up at him, before you finally nodded. "play it"
he set down the phone and pressed play, before he took your hand in his, one hand on your hip. the song was soft and gentle and you could hear the guitar and dracos keyboard.
"how did you record the guitar if leo didn't know about it?" you wondered.
"i played it myself" theo shrugged and you smiled as you heard his voice. "i wrote the song when you started hanging out with cormac and we stopped spending as much time"
i know a place it's somewhere i go when i need to remember your face we get married in our heads something to do while we try to recall how we met
he twirled you around on the street, moving you away and then back close to his chest again.
the bridge was definitely your favorite part of the song, as you softly hummed along.
there was something 'bout you that now i can't remember it's the same damn thing that made my heart surrender and i miss you on a train, i miss you in the morning i never know what to think about
you didn't want him to know, but you cried a bit. the song was so incredibly beautiful that it made your head hurt. right before the song was over, theo started singing along, supporting the theo from months ago.
about you about you do you think i have forgotten about you? (don't let go)
he hugged you close to his body while you both swayed to the last few tunes of the song.
"that's how you felt? all while i was still there?" you asked him once he had pushed the phone into the back pocket of his trousers.
"it felt like you were worlds away" theo muttered "you were so obsessed with cormac that all i could do was write a song about how you were slipping away"
"i was sixteen and in love" you argued.
"i know" theo smiled "i was too"
you looked up at him in surprise and a bit of hope in your eyes. "and what about now?" you asked
"now i'm seventeen" he shrugged.
"and in love?" you asked carefully.
"deeply" his hands wandered to hold your hip, as you stepped closer to his body. your hands went to his neck. he drew you closer and slowly connected your lips. his lips were soft and warm and they felt like home in a place that hadn't felt like a home in a long time.
he brushed some of your hair out of your face as he deepened the kiss, softly pushing his tongue through your lips. you smiled at that.
as you broke the kiss, he softly leaned his forehead against yours.
"do you want to come inside?" you asked as you pointed to your house.
theo smiled as he nodded. you took your key out of your bag and opened the door. to your surprise, you could hear someone move through the house.
it was well past midnight, so you shrieked in surprise when your mum turned on the light. she screamed at the same time as you did.
you wondered what she was doing up here. normally she wouldn't come out of bed or up here in general. she would spend most days in bed, curled up under leo's bedsheets.
"y/n!" she screamed and you noticed the tears on her cheeks.
"mum" you muttered as you looked back at theo, who was still standing in the entryway, unsure what to do.
"where have you been?" she screamed. "you're soaked!" theo's and your eyes went down your body simultaneously. you were completely dry.
"i'm not, mum" you shook your head "maybe you should go back to bed" you tried to grab her arm but she moved away from your hold.
"i told you not to go out in the rain"
"mum, i didn't, really"
"where have you been all night?" she screamed and winced. "i have been sick with worry! you've been gone for hours, y/n!"
"mum, i-"
"i don't want to hear another word!" she grabbed your hand and pulled you closer. "leo, sweetheart is that you?" she only seemed to notice theo, now that you were not standing in front of him anymore.
you and him exchanged a look. "no, mum" you softly said "that is theo" you turned your head back at him "maybe you should better go"
he nodded at your suggestion.
"leo, sweetheart" your mum called as she saw him moving. theo froze. "where are you going?" you held her in place as she tried to move closer to him.
"go, home, theo" you said "i'll call you"
"where's leo?" the calm in her voice was suddenly gone and she was screaming again. theo turned around alarmed.
"go, i'll call you" you repeated. "you shouldn't have called him" your mother screamed "why did you call him?" she sank down on the ground sobbing and screaming as she held her arms close to her chest. you sat down beside her.
you looked up and saw the sad look on theo's face. "please, go, theo"
he left and closed the front door behind him.
your mother calmed down quickly and you were able to bring her back down to bed. she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and you watched her for a few minutes as you wiped your cheeks to get rid of your tears.
you shared the color of her eyes and hair, the way she used to walk down the street and the sound of laughter, that you hadn't heard since that night a year ago.
you kissed her head softly, before you got up and left the room. "goodnight, mum" you mumbled before you closed the door.
then you walked up to your room. the curtain of your window was open and you saw theo sitting at his window on the other side. you saw him scribble something down on his blog, before he pressed it against the window.
is she always like this?
you shrugged, before you took your own blog and wrote an answer.
not always, but sometimes she freaks out and thinks it's that night again
what is she doing normally? it's the first time i saw her in a year
you weren't sure what to answer. you didn't want to lie to him, but the truth embarassed you.
she stays here
she doesn't leave the house?
no
you could see the same look of pity in theo's eyes as you always saw in april's. she was the only one who really knew how bad your mother had gotten.
i'm sorry you had to see that, you wrote
theo shook his head, he held his hand against the window, as if to touch yours, i'm here
you held your hand against the glass too, as you smiled at his gesture. i know
you sat there for longer than you should have, only going to bed as soon as you couldn't keep your eyes open and were almost falling asleep on the desk.
✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆。𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
sunday was warm and thick and theo came to pick you up. all of you, the rest of the guys and april, went to the lake behind the garage to go swimming.
the sun was relentless but you were so happy that you did not mind.
april and enzo had arrived hand in hand, kissing each other all over their faces, before they announced that they were finally dating. you were more than just happy for them and exchanged conspiritorial looks with theo as they mentioned how they had spend their night.
none of your friends knew about your and theo's adventure from the night before, or the times you had spent in each others embrace. you were glad that they had stopped asking questions about the way you acted after the last time.
you hadn't been sure if you would have been able to lie, but your friends kept their mouths shut, silently smiling and fully accepting the new normal.
theo had send you the demo of about you and you had spent any free minute listening to it. this was your song, the song that was truly about you and you couldn't love it more.
and for now, everything that had happened between you just belonged to the two of you.
theo walked into the garage to get a few more beers as he ran into mattheo, who came back from the toilet.
"hey, mate" he patted theo's shoulder, as the latter bend down to open the fridge.
mattheo's eyes wandered to the window that overlooked the lake. blaise and draco were standing on top of the tree that was hanging over the water, while they tried not to fall down. april and you were loudly laughing as you tried to throw each other into the water. enzo came up behind the two of you and helped to throw april inside, before he pushed you in after her. mattheo watched as your head came back up and you began laughing.
"you have to tell her" mattheo mumbled "the concert is in a few days"
"i know" theo muttered, before he took a big sip from his beer. "but she's so happy" his heart fluttered as he watched you run across the grass as draco and blaise were chasing you.
"all the more reason to tell her" mattheo nodded "maybe she doesn't mind"
"i don't know" theo shrugged "i still lied to her"
"not if you just tell her" theo nodded at his friend before he left the room. mattheo bend down to get a beer for himself, as his eyes returned back to the glass. you were in the lake again and you face lit up as your eyes fell on theo.
you held your hand in his direction, before you dragged him in to the water. mattheo could hear you giggle, followed by theo's warm laughter as he held you close to his body and dipped you down in the lake. "so, that's how it is?" mattheo mumbled smiling as he watched the two of you.
✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆。𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦
monday came fast and so did the bad weather. it had been raining since the morning and you couldn't be more glad that april and theo both had their own cars so no one had to walk.
"good morning, baby" theo greeted as soon as you sat down in his car. he turned in your direction expectingly, moving his lips. you giggled before you kissed him and he leaned back with a satisfied grin.
on your way to school you picked up draco and blaise who were talking about a switch in the atmosphere. you and theo listened to their blabbering as you exchanged looks with each other.
"this was disgusting" mattheo said as he climbed from the backseat of april's car. she had driven him and enzo to school with her. "two people in love and i have nowhere to escape"
"yeah" draco nodded "i kind of feel the same" blaise and him exchanged confused gazes, not quite realizing what they were talking about just yet.
"should we head to english?" you asked before one of them was able to further think about it.
"sure" april took your arm as she dragged enzo behind her. theo stayed close to you, but did not hold your hand.
mrs walker was on time today and she even smiled as she noticed the friendly conversation you and theo were having. "war is over, huh?" she smiled and you softly nodded.
it was the first time in months that you did not mind theo sitting so close to you. you needed his warmth, as if his and your body were magnets of opposite sides, always pulling each other close.
during class, theo was drawing hearts on your hand with his finger and you wondered when you had forgotten how soft love was.
love was back, because theo was and you had missed him terribly, even before there was that wall of fault between the two of you. you had thought that there was no way to fix what had been broken, but maybe you had been wrong.
theo had felt the same, as he had told you. and he understood you, understood the way you could not have a relationship with your father, the way you felt sad anytime your eyes fell on your mother and why you had taken down every photo of your brother and put them in a box under the bed.
"i take them out when i want to remember" you had told him "when i'm ready to feel him"
"do you think you will be able to hang them up again?" theo had asked.
"i don't know" it broke a piece of your heart that you weren't able to really tell "maybe there will just always be something broken inside of me"
"and your parents?" he had pushed a strand of hair behind your ear "are they broken too?"
"more than me" you had said "that's why i can only be broken at certain times"
theo squeezed your hand before he had to take it away to write something down. you smiled at him, before you started writing too.
suddenly your phone buzzed in the back pocket out your trousers. there were only fifteen minutes of class left, but maybe it was important, so you took it out without mrs walker noticing and opened the message that had been send from an unknown number.
hey, peanut it read and you heart stopped beating. it's dad. how are you? dave called me to tell me about the record deal for leo's band, i heard they're making great music. theo messaged me too, is he your boyfriend? he told me that you needed to talk. call me!! xoxo dad
you stared down at the message and your whole body froze. dave fraser was the guy that was eventually giving the guys the record deal? you knew it had to have been leo who contacted him. and theo had messaged your dad? a thousand questions were running through your mind, but before you got a chance to answer them, another message came in.
i'm sure everything will work out with the deal. dave is obsessed with the guys and pixie dream girl! he told me i should come and listen to them play on saturday. will you be there too? didn't theo used to call you pixie? kinda funny!
yeah, you thought, funny.
"y/n?" mrs walker called "do you know the answer to number five?"
"what?" you muttered as you looked up from the phone in your hand.
"i asked if you knew the answer to number five" mrs walker repeated, but her eyes grew wider as she noticed the tears in your eyes "are you alright?"
you shook your head before you grabbed your bag and pushed your blog inside. "can i please leave?"
"ehh" mrs walker seemed to be caught off-guard before she finally nodded. you grabbed your things and ran out of the room under the confused eyes of your friends.
"excuse me" you could hear a voice call and quickly, steps were following after you. it was theo and you just quickened your pace.
"y/n!" he called. "are you alright?" there were another few pairs of feet running over the floor.
"you can't just all leave class" you could hear mrs walker say.
"it's important" april said.
"we will write an extra essay" enzo promised and you could hear both mattheo and draco groan.
"are you nuts?" blaise said loudly, before he was scolded by mrs walker.
you walked down the steps, theo behind you and behind him april, enzo, mattheo, draco and blaise.
"where are you going?" theo asked, but you ignored him. he followed you outside into the rain, where he finally caught up with you, holding your arm so you had to freeze in your step.
the rest of your friends waited under the little roof before the doors.
"what has gotten into you?" he asked.
"what has gotten into me?" you repeated laughing "what the fuck is wrong with you, huh?"
"what are you talking about?" you both were already soaked.
"you're playing pixie dream girl on saturday?" you asked.
before he could stop himself, theo had already answered "how do you know?"
mattheo hid his face in his hands and enzo groaned audibly.
"so it's true then?" you asked "and i bet all of you knew" you looked behind theo and into the guilt-ridden faces of your friends.
"we wanted to tell you-i mean i wanted to, really"
"yeah, you did? were you waiting for the right moment? taking bets when would be the funniest time?"
"no, you don't understand"
"oh, i think i do" you shook your head as you cried "you're still punishing me for everything that happened a year ago"
"what? no, i'm not" theo almost pleaded for you to believe him.
"did he tell you everything?" you turned to the other boys "how's your next song about me called, huh? y/n's psycho mother?"
"y/n, we don't know what you're talking about" mattheo said.
"oh you don't? well, let me clear things up as long i have the chance to do so myself" you clenched your hands together, you were already shaking from the harsh cold of the rain "what did you miss? my mother has gone completely off the rails since my brother died, my dad and i haven't spoken in a year and i think i have a lot of issues too"
you could hear april cry and the rest of the boys also looked like they were absolutely distraught.
"theo was a great friend" you said bitterly "while i went to him crying, he wrote a song that he knew would hurt me and he still put it on the album. and after i told him i how i felt about it, he claimed it was supposed to help me, while he aired out my dirty laundry to everyone in this fucking town"
"daddy issues" draco muttered under his breath.
"damn right" you pointed in his direction.
"daddy issues is about y/n?" enzo asked and he looked as betrayed as you felt.
"y-yeah" theo muttered "but i did not mean to hurt her"
"that's funny, theo" you laughed sarcastically "did you also not mean to hurt me when you messaged my father?"
"you did what?" april asked angrily and was ready to step next to you, but enzo held her back before she could walk in the rain.
"i know you don't want to talk to him, but i thought-"
"thought you knew my life better than i do?" you asked angrily "the night of leo's death, my dad spent hours screaming at me. my brother had just died and he stood in front of me while he told me how everything was my fault. he was the one telling me that he didn't want to see me again" you raised your arms "but who am i to complain about that, right? at least he's paying his child support, more than he has to actually, or mum and i would live on the street now. because she doesn't leave leo's fucking bed" you screamed in the direction of your friends "she never gets up" you added.
april sobbed and you noticed that all of the others had tears in their eyes as well.
"she's a mess" you muttered "but even she thinks it's my fault. you remember theo? that night in my house, when she thought you were leo? do you know how it feels to come home and she turns on the light and there's a flicker of hope in her eyes, because just for a short second she thinks i'm her dead son? and when she notices that it's me, just me, she just goes back to bed"
"we didn't know" blaise said softly.
"because i didn't want anyone to know" you said "but theo is running around telling people whatever he feels like and all of this will probably be featured on your second album anyway, so fuck it, right?"
"i'm so sorry" theo cried and you couldn't tell what was rain and what were tears on his face.
"sorry isn't cutting it this time, theo" your voice was a lot calmer now "you asked if i will be able to hang leo's pictures up again and the most honest answer i can give you is that i don't know if i could bare to look at his face while knowing that i killed him"
"you didn't kill him" theo argued.
"it doesn't matter to me how you see all of this, theo" you shook your head "just leave me alone, okay? but this time for real. i don't want to see you and i don't want to speak to you" you paused, before you added "because the real reason why we aren't friends anymore is that after everything that happened, you didn't even have the decency to come to leo's funeral. he was your friend, your best friend"
you send one last look in the direction of your friends, before you started to walk away.
theo called your name and you turned your head, but mattheo held him in place. you nodded at him, thankfully. april looked between enzo and theo, before she shook her head and ran after you.
she put her arm around you and let you cry into her shoulder as you both walked through the rain. away from your friends and away from theo, who you swore in that moment, had broken your heart for the last time.
taglist:
@7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101
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jarofstyles · 7 months ago
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Illicit 10
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Here we are, babes. The last official part of the main Illicit story. It’s bittersweet because I finally completed something lmao but also, I really love them and their story.
Safe to say this isn’t the last you’ll see of them. I’m fully planning on doing little flashbacks and check ins with them, feel free to let me know what you would like to see/if you have any unanswered questions. Thank you for reading!
Check out our Patreon for early access and 160+ exclusive writings
Illicit masterlist
WC- 3.3k
Warnings- mention of wounds, stitching, having children, marriage talk, nightmares, etc
——-
“Harry, for the love of god, please be careful of your arm.” Y/N winced in worry as the man carried firewood over to their fire pit. He had not been taking his injury half as seriously as he had been taking Y/N’s concussion, treating her like the ‘delicate little bird she was.’ He’d gotten an eye roll for that. Of course he wasn’t letting her help lug the wood for their night in front of the fire. She’d requested with sleepy eyes earlier in the morning to make smores because they’d been in her dream and Harry was giving her basically anything she wanted. 
“M’fine, baby.” He laughed, appreciating her concern but knowing the injury barely stung anymore. “The stitches are coming out tomorrow, and we pushed it, keeping them until then. Only kept them because you wanted me to.” 
It had been about 2 weeks since the attack and they’d left for the lake house. As much as he knew it was terrifying for the both of them, he was utterly relieved to have Katherine behind bars. He’d made sure to keep updated by his contact in the force to know what was happening with her case. Apparently she had really lost it, but Harry didn’t give a fuck. He wanted her to rot behind bars, to live miserably and have Y/N be safe without the threat of some crazy ex-who-isn’t-an-ex looming in the background. 
Harry had kept work to a minimum, only logging in to oversee the decisions he had to make. There had been no calls besides the nightly one with his COO to ensure things were running smoothly. Other than that, his entire attention had been on Y/N. They’d barely left the house considering at first Y/N had been a bit embarrassed of her injuries. Another reason he’d hate Katherine until the day he died. Harry always was one to hold grudges, he was infamous for it. She’d never know peace if the man had anything to do with it. 
They were healing incredibly well, Harry taking the time at night to set her on the bathroom counter and wipe them clean and apply the healing ointment to them. The only one that was more than a fading scab was the one on her head along with the slight discoloration the black eye had caused. Other than that, he was more than relieved to see her bouncing back. The only thing that plagued him still was the nightmare. 
His nightmares. 
They’d always start the same, almost a play by play of what had happened to him walking into the home and up the stairs- only when he got there it had been too late. In his nightmare, the knife had already taken Y/N’s life and he couldn’t do anything to save her. He always woke up before the knife struck him, but it actually hurt him. It was a little difficult for him to admit to her, always wanting to be the strong one when it came to their pairing- someone for her to lean on fully- but she had cried once he told her and insisted that she wanted to be there for him. That a partnership was made out of balance and while she could offer him some of the same things he did for her, she was more than capable to be his emotional shoulder to cry on. It had been a tough thing to come to terms with but this week seemed to be healing. Not just physically, either. 
“Ms. Greta, please tell him to take it easy.” Y/N pouted at the older woman who brought out the tray of s’more making supplies. She’d made sure to add the peanut butter cups as requested. 
“I’m afraid if he won’t listen to you, he won’t listen to anyone.” She chuckled. “Men will be men, and that includes straining their physical health for the macho man act. One day they learn we do know what we are talking about.” A little wink was sent her way as Harry huffed, arranging the wood in the fire pit with a grumble. 
“Because I’m fine.” He stressed, standing up straight and crossing his arms. “It’s healed up nicely. I’m more than capable of setting up a little fire.” Crossing over to Y/N, he stole a kiss before grabbing the lighter and a few other things. “Just sit pretty and let your man do the work, baby. I’ve got it.” 
There was a snort heard from both women but Ms. Greta was now off the clock, wishing them a good night before retreating into the house. As much as he loved having the woman around, he really was obsessed with this alone time with Y/N. There was the residual guilt he had over her being treated less than ideally because he was juggling the faux relationship and the contract, but he knew now that he was going to have to take a bit of a step back from work in order to do that. He’d delegate as he was supposed to be doing to begin with, assign more to his assistant, take Y/N more places and on more dates out in public. He couldn’t fucking wait to attent events with her and show her off. 
He’d been waiting months to let people know who his heart belonged to, and he was finally getting the chance to do so. It was obvious now since the articles had been a media frenzy over the attack, things leaked he couldn’t pinpoint. The only thing he had been commenting on was the fact that Y/N wasn’t a mistress, Katherine wasn’t his lover that was scorned, and there was no true excuse for the actions. It was a good thing in hindsight that they were there, alone. No one had a true clue about the location and he didn’t feel like being hounded by paparazzi- though hopefully they knew better now than to test him and his hatred for the cameras.
One thing that had been burning into him, though, was a question he’d been wanting to ask her. One he knew that was a bit unorthodox but a necessary one nonetheless. 
She sat across his lap, his hoodie covering her tank top and denim shorts as her legs swung slightly while they waited for the fire to burn a bit hotter so they could roast their marshmallows.
“When would you like to get married?” He asked. “And how many kids are we thinking about?” 
The girl nearly snapped her neck as she looked at him with wide eyes, the not so casual question leaving his mouth as if it was him asking what she wanted for dinner. Harry always did find a way to shock the hell out of her but this was definitely one of the top questions that had caught her off guard.  Secretly, she’d assumed Harry had that all figured out. He always made sure to let her know how much he appreciated her opinions and her thoughts, that they were important to him- but he was a planner. Harry was the man in charge and she was happy to let him be. It took a lot of weight off of her shoulders that she wouldn’t admit to anyone else actually weighed on her. 
“Uh…” She blinked at him a few times. “I’m not sure. Kinda figured you’d be the one to pop the question. But honestly… Maybe a year? A few months? I dunno.” There was a slight lump in her throat. “I’ve no doubt I want to be with you the rest of my life so part of me feels like I’d probably be fine eloping right now if that was something you wanted but… We haven't really had the chance to be a couple out in the open. While I doubt that’s going to change much considering we feel so strongly, I think it would be kind to ourselves to let us iron out some of the details first before we fully tie the knot.” There wasn’t a right or wrong answer but it still made her a little nervous to answer. “As for kids? I’m not sure. 2? 3? I’d probably say we have one first and figure it out from there.” It wasn’t like they’d have to worry about resources externally but she knew Harry valued family more than anything and he’d want to be an active father. He’d already indulged that detail to her one night when they were particularly loved up. However, neither of them had any children so they didn’t know the workload it would entail, nor did they know how they’d work as parents. Of course they’d figure it out but it would make it a bit more clear on how many they could handle.
“First of all, as much as I’d love to call you my wife right this second… I could never deprive you of the wedding you deserve.” Y/N had told him about the fact that she had always dreamt about her wedding as a little girl. She had pinterest boards full of themes and wedding dresses she’d want to try and cake designs. He wasn’t about to deprive her of those things for his selfish needs.. Harry knew he was indeed a selfish bastard in every other facet of his life, but when it came to Y/N and his soon to be family? That was his only exception. “My mum would probably keel over dead if I did that too. Trust me, you’re going to get your princess wedding.” There was no debating that. “And for kids… I’d love to give you many, many babies.” His tone turned smooth, a little smirk lighting up his face and the twinkle of his eye. “But I think I agree. My idea had been 2-4, but I’ll take as many as you’ll give me. Always.” His hand pulled her in so he could press a kiss to her cheek, muttering a soft declaration of love. 
“Love you more.” She sighed, leaning further into his chest. “I’m so happy that we can live our lives when we get back. I know it’ll probably be a little crazy but there's no more hiding. We can go out and hold hands and kiss, people are going to know we belong to each other.” The giddiness on her face was bittersweet. “I’m so excited to be with you properly.”
The tinge of guilt hit him full on in the stomach, making him frown as he looked into the fire. He knew he had fucked up several times on this journey and Y/N just had a lot of patient and given him a lot of grace when he knew for a fact most other people wouldn’t- but that made it feel a little worse. He’d been wrong in not ditching the contract immediately. “Baby?” He said, voice quieter as he met her eyes. “I’m sorry. Genuinely sorry that I’m a stubborn son of a bitch and I didn’t just dissolve the contract and take on a lawsuit. I should have done it the day I met you because I knew you were going to mean a lot to me even there. I… I know I’ve told you a lot how you were the first and only person to ever make me feel the way you do, but it’s more than that. And my hard headed shit got us into something awful. I know I fucked up and you are more generous than I deserve but…” His fingers tenderly moved the hair from her face, stroking her cool cheek. “I’m going to work every single day for the rest of my life to make it up to you. I’m going to make you the most spoiled, well traveled, happiest woman I possibly can.” His voice stayed quiet as he searched her eyes for any hint of resentment but somehow there wasn’t any there. 
“H.. I knew what I signed up for. You’d been nothing but honest with me the night I ignored you. You laid it all out for me. I knew that you were taken in name only and I liked you so much that I agreed. I never felt like I played second to her. You can say a lot of things about you, lovely, but subtle isn’t one of those things. You never made me feel like she was important. I understood how important your business was to you- it’s the most important thing to you. Did I like seeing you with her? No. But you made it so clear to me that I was yours and you were mine, I never felt like… I never had any competition.” Y/N tried to soothe the ache she knew he felt. Of course she hadn’t liked people thinking he belonged to someone else but she knew he loved her. The most she had ever been loved, the most unashamed. 
“First, I have a correction- You are the most important thing to me. I’d give it all up for you.” That wasn’t a sentence anyone could take lightly, nor one he would ever thought he would say. It used to be the truth, but now it was far from it. “You are my life.” His gaze bore into her own as he cupped her cheek.  “There was never any competition. If we want the honest truth, I thought I’d marry as a business decision. I thought I’d probably not have any kids considering I only ever wanted children out of love. I was happy working until I was gray and about to keel over. Business was my only reason for being, and it wasn’t something I minded- but you gave my life so much more, so much color, my angel.” He’d never sounded more fond in his life, looking at his heaven sent gift perched in his lap. “I didn’t realize there was more to life until I met you. You opened my eyes and made my heart soften. I give a shit about a lot more than numbers now and it’s because of you.” 
People could say he did it himself but he knew the truth. Without meeting Y/N his life would have been the same robotic function it had been since he got out of uni, and he wouldn’t have complained. He’d never know how much he would miss out on. “I thank whoever in the world sent you to me every damn day and you know m’not religious. You are my miracle. It made me feel so fucking sick walking in that house and thinking you were hurt, I have never in my life felt that sort of terror. But I’d do it all again in order to keep you.” The scar on his arm was a reminder of that. 
“I love you, H. The most in the world.” Her eyes watered a little as she smiled at him. “I’m sorry you got scared. I was scared too, scared she would do worse with that knife though I’m still upset you got hurt at all. But I’d go through every bit of it again too.” She sniffled, feeling his thumb brush under her eye as a tear fell. “I know I want everything with you. The marriage and babies and our own house with a pool, if that’s something you want too. You’re the love of my life.” 
“And you’re mine.” He mumbled, pressing his lips to hers. “M’gonna spend every day proving that to you. Just wait and see, my angel. My heart is yours.”  
—-------
Nails dug into Harry’s back as he rocked slowly into his girl in their brand new home. One he’d bought her as a surprise when they arrived back into the city, leaving their old memories behind in the other penthouse and moving on to the next chapter in the rest of their lives. 
“H-Harry…” She bleated, holding on to him while the other hand grabbed his face and pulled his face down so he could be kissed. “Thank you. You always take c-care of me.”
His pace as slow and deep, pressing in as far as he could go on the brand new sheets they’d picked out together. The sunset bled into their room as they breathed each other in, wrapped up in their covers on their first night sleeping there. He’d spared no expense making sure he got the best of the best for her. He was dedicated to the cause, dedicated to proving to her that she was the most precious thing to him in the world. 
“M’always going to take care of you, my love.” He nudged his nose against hers as he dipped his hips to get deeper inside of her. It was like they couldn’t get close enough to one another, her legs wrapped snug around his hips while he kept himself up with one hand, the other under her neck. The term making love was fully about this. It was unmistakable. “You were made for me.” 
He couldn’t wait to spend every morning like this for the rest of his life. The man who used to cringe at the idea of fucking anyone face first now had it as his preferred position, wanting to make sure he could see every second of her reactions to him. She was snug around his cock, taking him like it was her only job in the world. He’d had no problem doing only this for the rest of his life. 
“And you were… you were made for me. We’re made for each other.” Y/N nodded, pressing another open mouthed kiss to his lips as he kept the steady pace, hitting the delicious spot he always knew how to find. “You know my body perfectly. It’s yours forever.” It was both the truth and a bit of a taunt, knowing how much he loved when she spoke like that. 
“You are. You’re mine and m’all yours, never have to share me. I love you so fucking much, Y/N.” He whimpered as her fingers tangled in his hair, tugging on it as she was filled over and over again. He hit the perfect spot and was trying to get her to cum, trying to have her finish all over him so he could do the same and stay deep inside for a while. Craving this sort of closeness was an addiction, one he didn’t plan on cutting. The obsession with Y/N grew each and every day. “I can’t wait to make you my wife.”
The woman whined out his name at the last sentence, tugging him closer with her legs as she soaked up every bit of heat from him. It didn’t matter what happened, who tried to get in their way- they would always belong to one another. There was an understanding between both of them knowing this love was bone deep, soul deep, it only deepened by the day. When it felt like they couldn’t love each other more it just kept growing, no matter how full they felt. It was everything. 
A love like this was something people revered as pure, perfect, something that everyone craved and yearned for. Something out of a book or a movie, the sort of feeling that trumps all other people and situations. Their passion and yearning for one another had been cultivated in anything but pureness, it was made in the dark. It always made him laugh a little to know that such a concept had blossomed into a real, tangible thing that he could feel between their bodies, something he could see when he looked at her, something he could taste when he kissed her. 
A love that stayed between the lines wasn’t the type that grew stronger- that’s why he smiled when they called it illicit.
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lotusmi · 2 years ago
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SUCCESS STORY!!🤎🧸
tw//mental problems, abusive family, bullying, suicide attempt, manifest/void obsession
first of all i want to thank lotus because it helped me even when i was thinking about suicide❤️‍🩹
it's been years since I learned loa and I was having problems with the manifest. althought I have known loa for 2-3 years, i constantly reacted to 3D and for such reasons I could not manifest anything for 2-3 years. and when i first learned loa i was obsessed with void. I was hurting myself to enter void. like if you don't enter void today I will kill you. i was crazy because of void. at the same time, I was staying in the family environment that dragged me to death, and I was bullied at school . i was hated by people even though i did nothing. i tried to commit suicide many times, my family wouldn't let me go to the therapist. also, no one said anything to the bullying I saw. thats why I bullied myself for years in the same way. if I told anyone I was being bullied and asked for help, they would say it was probably my problem to my face💀💀 and towards the end of 2022, i seriously couldn't stand it anymore. i was constantly reading blogs [i think there is no blog i haven't read, lmao] and the last time i couldn't stand it, i tried suicide again, but i failed. later i wrote to lotus and she gave me a lot of advice (baby ily😩❤️) and i cried more than i have ever cried that night. the problem is that while people were already ruining me, the real problem was that i was ruining myself too. after that day, in the first week, i had so many problems in my manifest journey. but until 2023, i said to myself, "i don't want to live like this anymore. i deserve the life I want.” i made a promise. and every time I felt like quitting, i remembered my promise to myself. and now i have revised my whole life, i live in dubai🤭. if you're going to ask how i did this, i started to listen to my inner voice, i almost stopped entering tumblr. i stopped affirming and wrote down the things that i was gonna revise one by one, and added them to the notes app on my phone. i made a note at the bottom that I already have these in my life. when “what if I can't manifest the life I want?” if such thoughts came to my mind, i told myself that the creation was already finished. in this process, i focused only on myself and was developing my self concept. before I went to bed at night, i was constantly imagining the life I wanted and I was staying in that state and saying I already had the life I wanted, I didn't affirm anything extra. and even those who made life difficult for me started to apologize to me. (i manifested their karma life lol) anyway I don't want to talk more about those bitches but I want to mention this. please take a break. relax. stay away from things like void, loa for a few days. I noticed that some of you are obsessed with void on this blog. but i must say void is just a method. if i manifested the life i wanted when i was only 12-13 years old, you can do it too. take a break and do what feels good to you. love yourself. loa blogs can help you up to a point. they can't spare all their days for you. start taking responsibility. find manifest methods that work well for you. love yourself. meditate. i’ve talked a lot but I would like to add that, if someone tells you that you are the cause of the circumstances you are experiencing right now, that you created the conditions in which you live, please tell them to shut their fucking mouths. no such thing. i was blaming myself again, thinking what a disgusting monster i am just because this “you create ur reality” thingy. but the truth is that creation is already over. good luck!
MY FAV SUCCESS STORY TO EXIST!!!! 😭
I literally cried when this girl texted me saying she is living her dream life, I was so pround, I am pround 💗
Backstory, she first texted me 12/15/2022
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She told me everything about her circumstances, they were really bad ones, and she was 12 at time and this made my heart so broken (she revised her age) since her parents were really toxic and disgusting ( I am not going to say much about her old story).
So I told her all about the toxic home I lived and how I manifested it away too (my success, my failures).
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So, time passed and 01/feb I got this text!
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I literally cried because I was so happy for herrrr 💗😭😭
"How she did it?"
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She focused in her inner Self being the only reality and ignored all circumstances!
"and i would love to you to add those youtubers and blogs" insta: - kriston jackson youtube: - lana blakely tumblr: - @becomingthatgirl111 — other sources abt loa: - joe dispenza, edward art"
I literally cried so much and I am so happy for you my angel, look how you did it! You were 12 and revised your whole life! 💗💗💗
And that are people out there who don't believe that it is possible to manifest things. Look at this girl 💓
You did it amazing love, I am so pround of you. You are deserving of all the best things in the world. I wish you all the fun in life. Thank you sm for sending me this, I feel so appreciated that I had helped you, but who did all of this was YOU! 💗💗💗
✉️You all, everything is possible!
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reysdriver · 8 months ago
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Sleepover | R.B.
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You and your family finish off a tiring day with a makeshift sleepover — dad!regulus x mom!reader
warnings: mentions of death (a kid's pet goldfish dies), nightmares, just general parental exhaustion i guess
words: 1.6k
a/n: I've been working on this fic on and off for like a month lmao, but this is my comeback to writing so boom
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It’s been a long day. Ascella has been fussy all week, Aurora’s pet goldfish died, so you had to have that talk with her and Perseus plus a fish funeral, and then later, Aurora fell while playing outside and scraped her leg up pretty badly. 
And on top of all of that, the Ministry of Magic needed Regulus to work late tonight. 
So, that long day got even longer since it was just you taking care of the kids. 
By 7 o’clock in the evening, the two older kids kept asking you where their dad was, and all you could tell them was that they would have to wait and see while bouncing Ascella on your leg to quell her tantrum. 
Aurora and Perseus eventually listened to you and ditched asking you questions you didn’t know how to answer for a hand-clapping game they had made up the other day, but that was also dropped the second they heard the front door unlocking. 
The kids rushed to the door and pounced on Regulus, each choosing one of his sides to hug tightly. 
Your husband laughed. Not at the children, but at how he hadn’t even gotten the chance to take his shoes off before they latched onto him. 
“Daddy!” They squealed, arms wrapped around his thighs and their faces squished against his waist. “It feels like you’ve been gone a hundred years!”
“A hundred years?!” Regulus parroted sarcastically. “Well, you all look wonderful for your old age!”
They laughed at their dad and let go of his legs. “You look exactly your age!”
Regulus does an exaggerated gasp. “Well, sounds like no dessert for you two for the rest of the week! And get me your mom and your sister who isn’t mean to me.” 
The children looked at each other frantically, not realising Regulus had been joking about the dessert. Perseus speaks up for the both of them. “We’re sorry, Daddy! You don’t look a hundred years old, we promise!”
“Alright, I forgive you. Just get your mom and your sister so I can tell them I changed my mind about the dessert.”
Eager to earn their after-dinner sweets back, your two oldest kids run back to you in almost perfect lockstep. 
“Daddy’s here!” 
“Oh, is that who was at the door?” You feigned surprise, standing up with Ascella. “Come on, honey. Let’s go see Daddy, huh?”
When Regulus saw you and your baby girl walking his way, his lingering smile doubled in size. He hung his jacket up on the coat rack and held out his arms so he could get more hugs from the two of you.  
Ascella’s frown disappears to morph into an expression that matches her father’s. She babbled and squirmed in your arms until you were able to pass her over to Regulus. 
He pressed a couple of kisses to his daughter’s soft hair, which only made her more excited than she was when she saw her dad for the first time of the day. 
Regulus brought his attention off of Ascella and onto you while you watched the two of them laugh and play. You didn’t think you were letting the events of today show on your face, but Regulus seemed to pick them up immediately. 
“What’s wrong?” He asked softly. 
You shook your head. “Nothing. I’m just happy you’re back home.”
Regulus understood what you meant and didn’t press. He just went back to teasing your youngest daughter. “Did you three make it a long day for Mummy? Huh? Did you give her a hard time today?”
Ascella just kept laughing as he tickled her sides and kissed her cheeks. 
◆◇◆◇◆
Insistent that she would have trouble sleeping in her room without her fish, Aurora begged to stay with you and Regulus for the night. 
You wanted to say no. You’ve been putting Ascella to sleep in the bassinet beside your bed while she’s been sick because she keeps waking up in the middle of the night in a fit of cries and screams. If Aurora slept in your bed, she would have to deal with that as well. Regulus said that it would be fine, so Aurora gladly hopped into your bed, dragging her stuffed rabbit behind her. 
While she still wanted to chat before bed like you expected, when you reminded her to whisper because Ascella was asleep near you, she quieted down quickly and fell asleep soon after she stopped talking. 
After that, Regulus joined you in bed. Aurora had taken up a fraction of both your side and Regulus’ of the bed, but she had mainly been sprawled across your husband’s half, so he just pushed her over enough for him to lie down. 
Now you and Regulus laid across from each other, one little girl lying between you. You smiled sympathetically at the fact that you couldn’t hold each other like you usually would because of Aurora, and Regulus made the same face back. 
“I’m sorry I had to work late.” He said quietly. “I know it wasn’t an easy day today. I know me having to stay later than usual didn’t help.” Since coming home, he had heard all the stories about today’s happenings, and he felt worse and worse with every one. 
“It’s okay.” You reassured him. “These kids may be a handful, but there’s nothing about them that’s too much for me.”
“Well, I’ll still try to avoid working late from now on. You never know what a day is going to be like with them.” 
“All I care about is that you’re here now.”
“Yeah, I am pretty great company to have.”
You could tell by his little grin that he was expecting you to laugh and argue with him, but he didn’t say anything you could push back against. Instead of fighting him on it, you just put out your hand for him to take in his. 
“You are.” You told him sincerely. “For me and for the kids. And everyone else, too.” 
He brought your hand up to his lips and pressed a sweet kiss to your palm. You smiled but held back a giggle, careful not to wake either of your daughters who were sleeping in your room tonight. 
Regulus kept his mouth on your skin, moving his kisses further along. It started with your palm, then he trailed over to the ball of your hand, your wrist, your forearm. You tried silently shuffling closer to him so he could reach more of you, but he detached himself from you when you heard a soft knock at your bedroom door. 
“Come in, honey.” You called quietly. 
The bedroom door opened, and you could hear Perseus sniffling as he made his way across the room.  You and Regulus both sat up, concerned for your son, and you held out your arms. Perseus accepted your invite and hugged you tightly, wiping his tears on your shoulder. 
“What’s wrong, baby?” You asked, not letting go of your son. 
“I had a bad dream. I got scared.”
“Are you still feeling scared?”
He nodded, unlatching his arms from the hug. “A little.”
Regulus spoke up from beside you, still keeping his voice to a low hush. “Do you want to sleep here?”
Again, Perseus nodded, then he crawled onto your lap. You lifted up the covers so he could lay down beside you. 
Your husband reached over and tousled your son’s hair lovingly. “We’ll keep you safe here.”
 You enveloped Perseus in your arms and kissed the crown of his head while rubbing circles on his back. “Do you want to talk about your bad dream?”
He sniffled into your neck and shook his head. That was okay. You weren’t going to force him to talk and upset himself even more. It was good that he was enjoying your company and feeling safe in your arms. 
“That’s alright.” Regulus told him. “We can just all cuddle and enjoy this little sleepover here tonight. How does that sound?”
Perseus lifted his head up to look at Regulus and attempted to muster up a smile and a nod. “That sounds good, Dad.”
You smiled, happy that Perseus was already feeling better than before. “Yeah, we’re all gonna have a nice sleepover, and then we’re gonna have a great day tomorrow?”
Today wasn’t a great day, but you would do anything in your power to make sure tonight was good and tomorrow would be even better. 
Perseus nodded sleepily once more at your proposal. “That sounds good too, Mum.”
You started rubbing his back once more to help him calm down and fall asleep faster. It seemed to be working as his breathing became more steady and his heartbeat was going back to normal. 
“Goodnight, honey.” You told Perseus, even though you were sure he was too tired to hear you. 
You looked up at Regulus, who was watching you lovingly from the other side of the bed. You were certain that if your bedroom wasn’t full of your sleeping children, you would have lunged across the bed for him the second you saw him gazing over at you. 
“We should go to sleep too.” Regulus broke the silence. “Don’t want to risk waking them if we stay up and talk.”
You shot your husband a sweet grin. “You’re right, as always. Plus, the faster we get to sleep, the closer we get to the great day we’re gonna have tomorrow.”
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kazutora-kurokawa · 10 months ago
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AOT: Armin Relationship Headcanons
♡ SFW & NSFW, fem reader, fluff because it's Armin and he's a sweetheart, mentions of other aot ships, set in a no titan au ♡
note: some quick Armin headcanons while I avoid writing stuff I had planned to write lol, also tagging @arlerts-angel because Armin is her man fr
❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀
SFW
💫 You two cuddle up and read books together
💫 Eren and Mikasa were wary of you at first because they didn't know your intentions with Armin, but they soon realized that you really love and care about Armin so they try to befriend you
💫 Trips to the beach w/ Eren & Mikasa
💫 Double dates w/ Historia and Ymir
💫 Movie nights with all his friends (have fun cleaning up their mess the day after lmao)
💫 Armin always wakes up with the messiest hair known to man
💫 You bought him a collection of books for his birthday and he almost cried
💫 He always gives you the best advice
💫 Loves listening to you talk, whether it's about your day, things you're interested in at the moment, or something random
💫 He's great at cooking and cleaning (a whole housewife fr)
💫 Let's you paint his nails and practice your makeup skills on him
💫 Encourages you to drop the toxic people in your life (ironic since he's best friends with Eren lol)
💫 Comforts you when you're on your period (the type of boyfriend to buy you a heating pad and cuddle you all day)
💫 Worships the ground you walk on 🛐
NSFW
💫 Eating you out is his favorite way to pass time
💫 He's literally obsessed with the way you taste
💫 Likes when you squeeze his head between your thighs
💫 Doesn't like to overstimulate you (but will if you ask him to)
💫 A sucker for a tight dress or skirt, he's definitely destroyed some of your clothes before
💫 Undercover pervert, likes stealing your clothes and using them to jerk off with
💫 He'd be absolutely vanilla during sex, for sure has a major praise kink tho (he's a slut for validation)
💫 Likes being praised and praising you
💫 "Look at my pretty baby, taking me like a good girl."
💫 Doesn't have a favorite position, but loves being able to see the fucked out look on your face
💫 King of aftercare 👑
💫 Runs you a bath and grabs you snacks and drinks for when you get out (he's such husband material)
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saruman-the-silly · 1 year ago
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Oh hello... I wanted to make a request, I wanted to know how the Papas would react to seeing that y/n is a little chubby. Because I was looking in the mirror and I was so sad about what I saw, and now I'm lying in bed scrolling through Tumblr thinking about making this request... You don't have to do it if you don't want to, It's just that I love the way you write that I kept thinking about it.
I very much want to, thank you very much :D there is nothing, and I repeat, nothing wrong with being a little chubby, or being a lot more chubby! Whatever size you are, you are beautiful, remember that <3
This also gives me a reason to finally write something for Primo and Secondo so thank you hehe
soooooo I present to you, headcanons about the papas with a chubby reader! (gender neutral ofc hehe)
(I wrote this kind of quickly so if there are horrible grammatical errors, I will try and fix them as I find them lol)
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Headcanons: Papas with a chubby reader
Primo:
He's very old, and a bit old-fashioned, so he just instantly thought you were an angel when he saw you. Back in his days, the curvier you were, the more attractive you were.
When he got to know you as a person, he grew to love you very quickly.
All of your curves and imperfections were a work of art for him.
Primo is also such a gentle person, and would notice the instant you were feeling down/insecure. He doesn't pressure you to talk about it though, but he still makes sure you know that he's there for you.
If you wanna talk tho? He would listen really well, and after you had poured your insecurities out on the table, he would assure you that your curves just made you more, well, you. And you were his amore, the most beautiful thing in the world.
Secondo:
He's a serious guy who does not like to talk about emotions and stuff. (I don't think he even knows how but lmao anyway)
Secondo's usually serious and no-bullshit charade was quickly torn away by you and your delightful presence. (He was freaking out like crazy when he first met you, Terzo would not let him forget how he stumbled over his words when he was first introduced to you)
Also, fuck, he couldn't keep his eyes from you. Every time you are in a same room with him, his gaze almost involuntarily shifts back to you.
He loves you. So much. So when you came to him, telling how you didn't think you looked good, he was a little confused. How could you see yourself in such a light, when you had made such an impact on him?
He reassures you that yes, he wants to be with you and nobody else.
He doesn't really know say anything else. But he doesn't need to, his actions prove the endless love he harbours for you.
Terzo:
Ah, Terzo, our hopeless romantic.
Terzo has seen many different types of bodies up close and personal during his life, but not one of them could match your beauty.
Needless to say, when he first met you he fell. Hard. Like, head over heels. Out the door went his playboy days, he only had eyes for you.
He literally worships the ground you walk on.
You had trouble believing him, when he confessed his undying love for you. (Don't blame him he just likes to be theatrical but he really did mean it)
You confessed to Terzo about your insecurities, and he proved himself to be a great listener. After talking, he reassured you that yes, he meant what he said, yes, he wants to be with you.
He would then bring you in front of a mirror, and gently kiss and caress all the parts of your body you are insecure about.
Copia:
He would understand your struggles very well. Having a history with insecurities himself, Copia isn't a stranger to body dysmorphia.
Copia loves you. So much. You helped him get through a lot of his insecurities, so, now was his turn.
He let you vent, while making you a cup of tea, and wrapped you in a tight hug afterwards. You cried in his arms and he just held you and comforted you.
Copia is very direct about his feelings toward you. He lists all the things he loves about you, and tells you how you size just makes you all the more perfect. (the man loves thick thighs)
He would do his best to make you see yourself in the same light he sees you. Copia gently traces over your stretchmarks with his finger, then kisses them and whispers to you how beautiful you are.
---------------------------
Thanks for the request annnd enjoy :D
Remember, you are beautiful no matter your size <3
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gotham-daydreams · 4 months ago
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I am very much for this version of Isekai reader. What's funny though, is my social anxiety is a little different. I can seem like a super extraverted person, talk your ear off about my interests, ask you questions and listen, correct waiters, etc. But, when I get home, I will become so anxious about every little mistake or issue it's freaking painful man. I have sometimes cried in bed. I just imagine avoiding the Waynes to avoid that, and every time I come across them I seem so extraverted and then at home I'm like, "Why did I have to stutter when complementing their shoes? They probably think I'm so pathetic?" Meanwhile they're like, "They like my shoes!"
I GET IT! YEAH! Honestly I'm kind of similar in that regard, but also not at the same time so I understand to the point that I can!
Though that's basically it right there- LMAO
You have the reader over here questioning all of their life choices and why they did that one small, tiny thing (that literally almost no one else noticed) while the fam is like "Omg!!! They like me! Hehehe :3"
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oleander-nin · 1 year ago
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Wolf In Sheep's Clothing(Yan! ROTTMNT x defiant reader)
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A/N, not important: I just assumed 'dangerous' meant they fought back(aka, defiant). Also I wrote this in math class lmao. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.
-Ollie
Tw: drugging(Donnie), kidnapping, manipulation, harm to reader, breaking bones, threatening nature, unconsentual touching(non-sexual), dark themes, abusive themes, food restriction/forced starvation as punishment, yandere themes
Words: 1244
Summary: The Yan ROTTMNT boys deal with a reader who's personality switches from sugary sweet to downright defiant.
Mikey:
He’s severely disappointed after he kidnaps you and you start to snap back. He tries to fall into his personas and talk it through with you, but gets severely frustrated at your pushback. He nearly cries when you try to hurt him.
He chains you to him, not wanting to be far from you. He’s convinced you’re just scared, and that you need reassurance. If you’re always with him, he can give it at a moment's notice.
He tries to win you over with food. You’re constantly fed your favorites and pampered to no end by him. Anything you want, he’ll try and get. He wants to bribe his way back into your heart, not seeing a single thing wrong with how he’s acting.
When you start to get heated, he pulls you close and wraps his chains around you to keep you from lashing out. He just situates you on the couch or his bed depending on where you both are and cuddles you until you calm down. He’ll make you sit with him for hours if he deems it necessary.
Freaks out everytime you try to hit him. He tries to convince himself it’s an accident for months. You’re so sweet, you would never do something like that to him. Once he realizes you’re lashing out and trying to hit him on purpose? He gets pissed.
He’ll strip you of all your old luxuries, taking away something you enjoy with every hit. Soon you’re not allowed any entertainment other than Mikey, being left with nothing to do but talk to him. He gives you less complicated meals, serving you the same thing he makes for the rest of his family instead of whatever you’re craving.
And if your anger still persists? He’ll tie you down and keep you isolated, only letting you see him and be in his room. He’ll break you down eventually, and he’s willing to wait.
Donnie:
Is completely unimpressed with your change in attitude. He treats you more as an unruly child than a person with valid feelings and wants. If you start complaining about a rule he set, he’ll just reexplain his reasons and shut you down when you argue. He’s the genius, he’s the one in the right.
Tries to keep you under check and placate you swiftly. He doesn’t want to deal with this version of you, he wants his love back. He’ll stop at nothing to get you back.
He’ll try setting up a reward system at first, wanting to not go straight into punishments. You’ve only been here for a few days, so he assumes you just don’t know better. He’ll reward what he deems as good behavior with sweets, time with him, or time doing your own thing. He wants to keep you happy and stimulated so you’ll appreciate him.
Drugs you the first time you try to fight him. He’ll experiment with different doses until he’s keeping you under some drug almost 24/7. If you won’t listen, he’ll just fix you himself. By keeping you too tired to fight back, he finds it much easier to hold you and love you. He’s able to keep you under his thumb fairly easily.
Takes you off the drugs once a week to see how much progress you made. If you’re still too much of a hassle, he’ll drug you again and wait a while. He doesn’t want to rush it.
Isn’t afraid to break a few fingers if you keep trying to fight. He’ll make you sick or break a leg once you get too unruly for his tastes. He’s not one to let bad behavior slide.
He’ll slowly work at making you calmer, trying to bring you back to your old personality. He loves you and is willing to work with you, wanting to bring you back to your old self. He isn’t going to lose you.
Raph:
He didn’t expect a thing. You were always so sweet, he was astonished when he saw how hard you were fighting him. Your constant punches and harsh words made him upset. He thought this would be a smooth transition, and he was harshly mistaken.
He tries so hard not to snap back. Seeing you fight him despite having almost no chance of winning was amusing at first, especially with your kind demeanor, but he can only take so much.
He’ll keep you tied and gagged in an attempt to keep the fighting down. He’ll pretend you’re fine, that you weren’t hurtling insults and curses at him just moments before.
If you actually get a hit on him, he’ll go quiet. He’ll throw you in his room and keep it locked, leaving you alone for hours on end. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but you make it so hard to hold himself back.
But if he loses his temper, and isn’t able to walk away? You’re going to find just how hard a genetically modified weapon of war can punch. He’ll probably break your arm by accident, not even noticing. He’ll grab you and yell, his grip getting tighter without him noticing. He doesn’t let go until you’re sobbing on the floor.
He really didn’t mean to hurt you, honest. Just listening to you tell him how much you hated him day after day made him snap. He can still take care of you, he just needs you to accept your place with him.
He’s constantly paranoid about you escaping. You’re too volatile to be trusted, so you’re either in his sight, or locked down tight. He’d be devastated to lose you. He just wants you to love him, and go back the way you were. You might want to hurry up though. Raph isn’t known for his patience.
Leo:
He knew it would happen and saw the signs. During his months of stalking, he saw how you got when you felt threatened or spited. He was prepared for the backlash when he took you. He was ready to smother the fire out.
He tries to give you a decent amount of leeway with your insults. He’s hurt you would say all these things, but he’s hoping if he shows he’s not a threat, you’ll calm down. Until you start fighting physically.
The first time you try to punch Leo, you're not allowed to eat for three days. He ties your arms behind your back and holds you close, squeezing tighter in warning every time you try to squirm away. He wants you to feel safe with him, but he refuses to let you steamroll over him. He’s ready to fight back.
If you ever get a good hit, or try to majorly harm him, he’ll break your hand. He’s tired of your resistance, and just wants you to love him. If you fearing him gives him an opening to your heart, he’ll jump for it. He’s not too picky about how you fall in love, just that you do.
Is constantly holding you or touching you. He’s treating you like a feral cat, trying to get you used to him by exposure. In his mind, you’re just frightened, so if he can get you used to him and his presence, you’ll soften back up.
Guilt trips and gaslights you to no end. He’s constantly telling you how he’s in the right, and that he’s only punishing you because of your behavior. He promises he’ll be sweeter once you do the same.
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nexxocatt · 2 months ago
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THUNDER SAGA & WISDOM SAGA RANTS!!
Genuinely how can I live my life normally after this. Like,, HOW.
Anyway,,,
MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
TWs/CWs: swearing, mentions of violence and death ig. If you're uncomfortable click off any time!
And without further ado, let's gooo!!
THUNDER SAGA
- Gosh, 'Suffering' is maybe probably most definitely my second fav song (after 'Thunder Bringer' ofc) in this saga. It's just so GOOD UGHH!!! I'm utterly OBSESSED with whoever voices Penelope/Siren Penelope cause they just sound ETHEREAL. Also the amount of memes with the "You know I'm too shy" is astounding. Def my fav part of the song.
- I hc that Ody, in 'Different Beast', when he said "You are no wife of mine!" that he pulled an "erm, actually-" and basically: "Nah cuz you got a few details ab my wife wrong, homie. You see, her ponytail's tips actually reach 3.5 cm lower than that, plus you got the shade of her eye color wrong. And gods she'd never wear that tunic without matching earrings!" Homie's obsessed lmao.
- Oh. My. God. KJ. KJ! THE ABSOLUTE QUEEN GAHH!!! The fucking growl Scylla had on "Give up your honor and wraith!" Made me literally almost fall over. I had a ton of fun just dancing to KJ's vocals. My GOD that's beautiful💯💯
- Tell me y'all can hear the absolute desperation in Eury's voice at the start😭 bro does NOT wanna believe his home bro Ody just gave up six men's lives like that. Also not Jay bringing back the "This is the home of the wind god" bullshit like pls I cried enough at 'Monster'😭😭 And not Eury turning Ody's words around by saying "I'M JUST A MAN!" then stabbing a cow, like HOMIE. WHY.
- Here comes Zeus the party crasher everyone! Yippee! But no, seriously, I've had 'Thunder Bringer' stuck in my head for a while cuz my boy Luke Holt's vocals be giving me shivers. Imma cry cause the absolute pain and crack in Ody's voice when he says "I know..." like,, 😭😭 Also the animatics where the crew just attacks Ody and the dude just accepts his fate are CRIMINAL. Ain't nobody asking me to cry today bro🙏🙏
WISDOM SAGA
- Gotta be my fav saga yet. The "Watchu gonna do about it, champ?" line was delivered PERFECTLY🙌🙌 Ayron is the absolute Top G. Also Miguel's voice for Telemachus is just UGHH SO GOOD!!! Also Tele be like: "STAY BEHIND ME MOM I'LL PROTECT YOU!!🤺🤺🤺"
- Let's fucking go Athena is back on track, baby! Literally LOVE both hers and Antinuos' vocals. They were ON. TOP. I couldn't help but giggle at Tele's "Woah,, that is so sick!!" Like he's my baby boy I love him smmmm!!!
- I ain't got no shit on Athena no more. Home girl's just guilty frfr. "You're a good kid." "Thanks!" AHHHH THEM>>> Anyway, great song. I love Athena now. I don't hold no grudge against her anymore, no siree. She my homie now💪💪
- WANGUI. THE LEGEND FRFR. They could never make me like Calypso but Barbara served. I listened to 'Love In Paradise' on my headphones and did not expect to hear Polites' voice in my left ear and Eury's in my right😭😭 The time-dive was LEGENDARY (haha.) and Ody's screams then him just yelling "ATHENA!!" cause he doesn't have anyone else to call for help was heartbreaking 💔
- Ahhh the fact that Jorge got his dad to voice Hephaestus is so cute <33 And Mr. PAM-PAM was right. Luke Holt's BEASTMODE ZEUS IS PHENOMENAL. I adored the transition between 'Warrior Of The Mind' and 'Legenday' after Zeus supposedly struck Athena down, which were – by the looks of the animatic shown in the livestream – the memories that got the goddess determined to stand back up💪💪 The way Ares' voice almost broke when he asked "Is she dead..?" broke me like😭😭 And whoever voices Hera is an absolute legend how the fuck is your voice that HEAVENLY😳
Also pls let the 'Silly Saga' be a thing, I had all the vids from Jorge's Disney Princess Era plus the Jimmy Neutron specials stuck inside my head non-stop for daysss🙏
Ooh and if we're lucky (and Jorge wants to ofc) maybe we'll get an album with cut songs! That would be amazing!! No pressure for the team tho, whatever they choose will be respected by everyone!
Also guys dw Athena's not dead, goddesses can't die you silly geese🙃 She's just injured n I'm absolutely sure we'll hear more of her in the upcoming Sagas! ^^
That's all for now! Take care y'all!! Stream the Wisdom Saga NYEOW👿👺!!!!
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p0rkbun · 1 year ago
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SAM CARPENTER FLUFF — headcanons
⤿Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Reader
⤿Content Warning: None, just fluff, maybe cringe writing, implied kpop listener reader
⤿A/N: okay i was chatting with ai sam and these are from character ai and made me think 'hey she would do this'. It's cute headcanons, i should have did this on her bday but instead i photoshoped her with hearts and a hat LMAO. Also I didn't spell check this I'm sorry. Enjoy ♡
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──── Sam is the type of girl to ask what your favourite music genre or artists/bands when you ride a car together the first time because she wanted some music in you two's lovely ride. When you tell her, she keeps it in mind and put it on next time.
"Aespa?" She asks, you nod as she keeps her eyes on the road "okay, aespa, i'll remember that." She smiles while nodding, repeating the name in her head.
──── You two went to the movies on your first date (cheesy i know) you picked a horror movie, she probably didn't like that bit it wasn't a slasher movie so it made her feel a bit better. When you two were watching the movie, there was a jumpscare and you flinched slightly while leaning towards Sam out of defense. She let out a small smile and would purposely offer her arm for you to grab in case you get really scared (she was probably a bit frightened too but she's being brave because she wanted you to grab her arm, she just like your touch that's all).
──── Let me tell you something, this woman radiates The Neighbourhood, especially the songs Female Robbery and Reflections. I don't know if she would listen to it but she is the personification of almost every The Neighbourhood song.
"We were too close to the stars, I never knew somebody like you"
"I see my reflection in your eyes"
"I see myself in you, baby"
(This is a heavy reference to my oc LOL)
──── Sam wouldn't be very knowledgable of video games to me, though i feel like she plays mobile games like candy crush or something. She would sometimes watch you play video games when she's passing by or sitting in the same room, she comments on what you are doing or how you are doing that and questions why you didn't shoot an enemy.
"Baby why didn't you shoot that guy? You could have taken him" She says with a confused look, watching you play valorant on the tv screen.
"Sam that's not me, I'm spectating another teammate-"
"What's that red triangle thing on the top?" "That's the spike" "the spike?" "It's a bomb" "oh...okay"
──── The time you convinced her to play, she was a little lost and asks you questions often. She gets the hang of the controlls and is actually pretty good. She would get a little mad when someone steals her kill, she rages with a frustrated sigh everytime she got killed too much. She talks back to every toxic players in the game, she was cursing at the screen and she looked absolutely pissed so you had to turn the game off before she threw the controller at tv out of anger. You don't let her play any fps game again. Not only for her sake but for your precious tv.
──── She absolutely enjoys watching you play story-based games, especially when you two play and make decisions together. She probably cried after playing tlou and life is strange. Besides that, she doesn't play video games unless you play it.
──── This woman is so protective, overprotective I say but you all know this. If you wanna go out, she's going too, she keeps a hand on your waist every time you go to public places. Definately death glares anyone who is looking at you/both of you weirdly or too long.
"You got a problem?" Sam snaps as she holds your waist protectively when she sees a guy eyeing you oddly.
──── It does get a little too much sometimes but you like her protectiveness. She gets jealous too but it's more of insecurity, you have to reassure her that you love her and no one else.
──── She likes holding you, has a hand on you all the time. She likes the feeling of you around her arms because she knows that you're protected by her. Because of that, she also takes care of you and reminds you of stuff. She asks if you eaten, drink etc. She reminds you to take a break whenever you're working too much, alternatively she brings you the food she cooked while you work on your projects. Despite this, she also loves being held and cared by you, it flutters her heart whenever you're taking care of her and cooking her favourite meals after she comes from work. She likes the sound of your heartbeat when you two cuddle and she has her head on your chest.
──── I know i said that she holds you 24/7 but when you two cuddle, she's the small spoon, whether you're short or tall.
──── She's very delicate and soft with you, like i said, she wants to protect and take care of you. She is a tough cookie but she's whipped for you. She gets a little dramatic when you get injured a teeny bit.
──── Have you seen her arms? Her beefy arms and abs are your favourite things in the world besides her. She works out often, you go to the gym with her once in a while and you really love the sight of her working out. You ended up gawking her the whole time instead of working out as well, she notices and teases you with a smirk while sweat is dripping off of her muscular body.
"You like what you see, baby? Y'know, you could have told me that you wanted to stare at me while i work out instead of pretending to wanna work out with me" She chuckles as she lifts her weights "Don't get ahead of yourself." you reply with a flushed face.
──── She doesn't show affection in public that much unless she got jealous but in private she loves kissing and showering you with love. Her kisses are soft and slow, she really is being delicate with you. Though in other occasions (*cough* intimate moments *cough*) you two make out and she practically is eating your face as she pushes down on the bed. She just loves kissing your lips, neck and shoulders. She is very much a big soft teddy bear ♡
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A/N: I accidently posted this halfway OH MY GODHSJSBSJS. Sorry if there's any spelling mistakes or grammar issues, english isn't my native language 💔. Anyways, I love you and please comment your thoughts ♡♡♡♡ i might edit this constantly after i post it...
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