#also HUH realizing that there's a rock opera of this stuff

[e1dritchqueer]

It's really funny how the last two movies have such great toxic gay relationship subtext to them

Andy and Miranda's manipulation filled relationship but Andy eventually seeing the humanity in Miranda. Miranda secretly appreciating Andy despite using her whenever she sees fit. "She said you were 'my greatest disappointment' and I'd be an idiot not to hire you."

Mozart and Salieri's unbalanced relationship of like... dependence, love admiration, and hate. Salieri seeing Mozart as god, admiring him, worshiping him, then scorning him. Seeking to destroy the god he worships, yet is in love with him at the same time. All while Motzart, unknowing of Salieri's manipulations yet victim to it all the same looks up to him, when all doors were closed on him, he could still turn to Saleri. How that manipulation destroys both of them in the end ugh

[noxtivagus]

gbf's ost is Too good <33

[unholyhelbig]

Title: Centerfold [Pt.2]

Ship: Beca Mitchell/ Chloe Beale

(Read Part one here)

Beca Mitchell’s phone was a box of constant communication. She had her emails redirected so that she could feel every single time she needed to address something at the office, even if she was there and the soft pinging culminated in the very screen she stared at. She had a multitude of contacts and would video chat with the team in Italy, and sometimes L.A.

So, what she knew deep down, was that it was impossible for her not to look at her phone all day. Physically she had to check the notifications to keep her world running. Emily intercepted most of them, keeping her deep stare on her own screen before glancing up at her boss every couple of minutes. They were both on edge and Beca didn’t much appreciate the tension that sparked between them.

She held her breathe each time a new ping sounded off until eventually that lull of anxiety was hushed to a dull ache in the pit of her chest. She went through her morning meets and a new presentation to her team about how their coding for a new watch wasn’t up to parr- they had a few days to fix it before it dropped, and the CEO made sure she knew that.

When the notification from Chloe did finally come through, Beca almost didn’t’ notice. She registered the pink of the logo that slowly shifted to a deep purple. But the name? Oh, the name she hadn’t clocked for a few seconds after that. And even then, Chloe Beale? Her Chloe, actually responded.

Beca lilted the computer screen and frantically looked up at Emily, who was already at her door. She didn’t bother to knock. Instead, she situated the office and closed the blinds and very coolly, but not so coolly, pressed her back against the wood and breathed.

“Dude,” Beca said.

“I know,” Emily said “Did you read it?”

She hadn’t read it. She hadn’t even thought to read it because her mind got stuck behind the massive roadblock that was Chloe Beale and her stupid pun username. She opened the application and hesitated over the message icon. She was supposed to be playing it hard to get like she didn’t’ care if she even got a response. But she did care and apparently so did her assistant because she was right behind her, blindly gawking like her halo fell into her eyes and blinded her from right and wrong.

“If I click this she’ll see that I read it and then there’s no going back.”

“You don’t want to go back, do you?”

“You told me to keep her guessing,”

“Truthfully, I didn’t think you’d even get a response.” Emily shrugged sheepishly “Figured you would forget about it in a few days and… open it.”

Beca frowned but hovered the mouse over the message. She wanted to close her eyes but felt like she was watching a car accident, complete with the red and blue flashing lights and the metallic crunch of metal. Either way, she couldn't avert her stare. She didn’t want to.

Chloe: Hey stranger. I must admit that I was never expecting to hear from you again, big shot manager. I’ve kept my tabs on you… New York is my home, so if you’re serious about coffee, so am I.

Her breath caught in her throat. Chloe Fucking Beale had said yes. Her childhood love had agreed to coffee that neither of them could probably stomach. Chloe Fucking Beale who was a playboy model with more than a million Instagram followers, and Chloe Fucking Beale who she was pretty sure she still loved.

There had been other people, men, and women that she had thought she fell for. She folded into soft touches and stronger commands. She was happy for months at a time and on one rare occasion a full year with a man who ran his own tours of the city. But none of those relationships had ever been like the one she had with Chloe.

Beca pulled in a long breath that filled her lungs with stale coffee and copy paper. She tilted her lid and looked to Emily because she was the expert. And Beca was frozen. That same cold excitement filled her and it also rocked her ever-loving shit. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t think.

Emily looked at the darkened screen, then at her boss, then back at the screen before lunging forward and typing back a reply. Perfect. Are you free this Saturday?

It turns out that Chloe was free that Saturday and if she wasn’t, she didn’t’ say a word and quietly cleared her schedule. The day was quickly approaching and Beca really wanted to know why the New York Branch put her in charge of everything when she could barely figure out what to wear to a simple cup of coffee.

This felt more like a simple cup of coffee.

Emily eventually got tired of the barrage of pictures she was getting and took a cab to Beca’s apartment an hour before the actual date. They settled on black jeans and a blue button-down that Emily pulled closer to her chest for extra measure because according to her “You look good in anything and Chloe won’t be able to make eye contact with you.”

Then she was on a subway that smelled like stale snow and hot morning breath. They picked a small shop downtown that not many people knew about. It was a feat in the city to find a place that wasn’t packed like a sardine can and Beca trusted Chloe’s judgment tenfold.

Beca got there first, and her palms were sweating despite the cool atmosphere that swept through the little shop each time the door opened. It was a meta cross between a thrifted bookstore and a café. People sat and ate and read and the scent of what Beca imagined old magic to be, mingled well with coffee grinds and fresh pastries.

She ordered a simple black americano and settled by the front window, the glass fogged from a warm contrast with the cold of the busy street and curved lettering faced the patrons. There was a simple logo and one barista behind the counter. She chose a random book and pretended to read, but only skimmed the same paragraph over and over again.

Her main focus was on the door and the bell that chimed each time it was opened. One of those times, after a businessman and a hipster kid hugging his laptop close to his chest, it was Chloe. Soft and vibrant compared to the rest of the dim academic setting.

Her hair was pulled behind her ears and a pair of golden framed glasses rested on her nose. She had aged like wine and the wind that blew in behind her carried the sweet scent of southern peaches through the front door. She wore a white sweater with a plaid peacoat and high wasted jeans, and Beca knew she was staring.

Everyone was, they couldn’t’ help it. She overtook the room with a warm and sparked presence. If anyone recognized her they didn’t’ say a thing, out of saving their own face or because the girl in the centerfold of the latest playboy was wildly different than the one standing in front of her. This… this was her Chloe.

She didn’t’ know if she could hug Chloe, if touching was okay, but as she stood to greet her, she was pulled into the warmth of the woman. She was wrapped in overwhelming touch and emotion and she buried her nose into Chloe’s hair as they held onto each other, not quite willing to let go of the familiarity before realizing that it was inappropriate not to.

“Wow,” Chloe ran her hands down Beca’s arms, stopping at her elbows “You haven’t aged a day, have you?”

“It’s the lighting in here, I think it’s one step up from basement overhead.”

Chloe laughed and it was a magical sound. The only thing more intoxicating was her smile, which never seemed to leave her lips as she ordered her own drink, something loaded with sugar and caramel, and leaned forward across the table to get a better look at her date.

Beca sipped her coffee and quirked an eyebrow “What?”

“I haven’t seen you in ten years, I think it’s perfectly acceptable for me to study you.”

“There’ll be plenty of time for that,” She tested “What have you been up to all these years?”

Chloe leaned back in her seat and cupped her mug. It was a russet red and steam rose from the pale liquid that soaked inside. There was a sickeningly sweet odor to it and part of Beca regretted ordering nothing but a black coffee. It seemed like a disservice to the atmosphere of the shop.

“Oh, a bunch of stuff here and there. I used to be based out of LA, I did a lot of acting there. Little stuff like soap operas and a couple of commercials. It wasn’t for me, though so I moved here to pursue modeling and it’s been going well. Really well.”

Beca didn’t’ want to mention the playboy magazine or the curve of Chloe’s legs and the way her skin shown under the bright summer sun. She never returned it to Jason because he never asked for it back. It was an unspoken solidarity between the two.

“That’s amazing,” Beca smiled, feeling excitement in her chest “Anything I would recognize?”

Chloe hummed into her drink “Mm, maybe a few things. It depends on how you feel about Playboy. I never thought you were much of a reader.”

Beca looked down dejectedly at the old spined book to her right. It was true, she hadn’t read the Catcher in the Rye and she barely got through the introduction paragraph because of the nerves and the heartbeat that beat so strongly against the inside of her wrist right now.

“I’m not usually. But I do enjoy looking at the pictures.” Beca flicked her stare back towards the woman across from her “Though, that’s not the reason I reached out to you.”

“Truth is, I’ve always wanted to message you, but you looked like you were doing so well. Like you were so happy. I didn’t want to throw you off or seem like I was chasing something that we used to have.” She said, “So I waited.”

It was Beca’s turn to laugh, “I felt the same exact way. We’re both pretty stupid, then huh? Waiting like this for something we knew… for something we knew we wanted.”

Chloe smiled wider and clinked her mug against Beca’s yellow one, not spilling any of the mostly full drink. “To being stupid. And getting to know each other all over again.”

And that’s exactly what they did. They sat and talked until they were the only two in the coffee shop and Beca even dared to kiss Chloe when they got to the subway platform.  She tasted like caramel and sunshine if such a thing was even possible.

But it was because she had found Chloe. Centerfold Chloe. High school Chloe, and most importantly, her Chloe.

[britishchick09]

1984 livewatch

the time has finally come to watch the full movie! it’ll be sad, it’ll be disturbing, it’ll possibly be cringy, but it’ll be a lot of fun! :D

we start out with the mgm lion! noice ;)

epic quote B)

wait why is opera music playing i thought we’d start at the 2 minutes hate

OMG what if they’re gonna hate on opera

this looks like a drive-in movie tbh

narrator: “this is a land of peace and hope, a land of plenty...” OH SHUT UP YOU

they’re showing wheat like it’s little house on the prairie BOI YOU’RE IN LONDON

this is epic propaganda B)

what if the war footage was taken from ww2 and thus... isn’t real :o

HOLD UP is the eurasian war racist?

THE QUEEN HAS ENTERED THE CHAT

WHAT ARE THEY ALL SHOUTING I CAN’T HEAR WHAT THE FDR GUY IS SAYING SHUT UPPPPP

oh no it be u (his face is like ‘WHAT IS GOING ON’ and it’s very lol)

julia’s so into this! :o

o’brien’s like ‘ohhh!!!’

look who decided to SHOW UP FINALLY

he pauses a bit before reluctantly joining in yas ♥

OMG THIS IS LIKE A SCHOOL ASSEMBLY STOP TALKING GEEZ

good they stopped!

WOWWW DON’T EVEN LIST SUZANNA HAMILTON’S NAME WITH THE OTHERS GIVE HER A ‘WITH’ CREDIT WOWWWWW

this IS a school assembly they’re going back to work!

winston in glasses *chef’s kiss*

ooh a rotary dial! great use of tech from when the book was written :D

winston’s looking over at syme WITH SO MUCH JEALOUSY lol

what if the words they speak are just random stuff with no meaning

OMG confession!!!!!

poor winnie with his cough :(

this confession sounds JUST LIKE WINSTON’S OMG!!!!

winston: “bugger!” he’s a brit lol :D

epic B)

OMG this guy read goldstein’s book SO DID WINSTON!!!!

i love how the diary is in a brick hole that’s so cool :D

the diary scene was filmed on april 4th just like in the movie so that’s way rad man :D

i want you valley!!! :D

ooh they’re put a smol scene of his childhood in there coolio! :D

he  s l e e p

this violin squeak tho :o

OMG THIS IS THE STANDING UP SCHOOL SCENE

it’s not but i can easily imagine it lol :D

he’s a stick omg ;o

when the lady talks to him you know it’s not a recording ;)

lady: “anyone under 45 is perfectly capable of touching his toes” BOI

oh no PARSONS

parsons: “choco rations are going up” c h o c o

parsons: “i seem to have run out of razor blades for some reason’ yeah,,, for some reason... ;)

this is so a cafeteria scene at school

THEY SAW EACH OTHER OMG

♫ i suddenly see him standing there, a beautiful stranger tall and fair, i wanna stuff this weird food in my faaaace! ♫ :D

me: “this is so romantic!” winston’s thoughts: “lemme smash HER WITH A ROCK”

wait did the lady say pineapple grenade???

HIS FACE LOOOL

syme rip boi

the 11th edition isn’t thicc :/

aww winston’s smol nod ♥

parsons: “by 2050 we won’t have conversations like this!” yeah because of screens lol

OMG the food looks and taste like meat but isn’t IT’S PLANT BASED MEAT!!!! :o

parsons just pulled a ‘hey need help with that?’ and put winston’s food on his plate EPIC

julia’s lookin’ at u ;)

YAS PROLES HOPE!!! :D

oh no DON’T TALK ABOUT THE 50 YEAR OLD WOMAN SEX WINSTON

OH NOOOOOOO

he liked the ‘bright red lips’ yet...

THIS CHICK’S LIPS AREN’T BRIGHT BOI

poor baby desperate for money :(

let’s GET THIS BEAT

hand on cheek = doublepluscute ^_^

epic foreshadowing B)

OMG CHESTNUT TREE POEM FORESHADOWINNNGGGGGG

OMG a couple is making out in the bar EPIC

winston’s just like ‘nnope’

OMG THE THOUGHT POLICE WERE FOLLOWING????

he’s at an antique store in prescott bless his heart ♥

mr. charrington sounds so kind WHYYYY

THE BIRTH OF A QUEEN ♥

mr. charrington says ‘4 dollars’ but they’re in london??

YAS BELLS OF ST. CLEMENS!!!! :D

winston: “what was that?” mr. charrington: “something old.” no DUH

they see each other againnn!!!!! :D

winston writes that he hates her SAME WITH A LOOK LIKE THAT

OMG SMOL WINNIE BIG O’BRIEN????? :o

his mom is lying dead in the field like the erza kid in ‘kirsten’s promise’ :(

he’s just... staring

OMG SPYING ON THE SPICY STARING ACTION :o

she PLONKED

that ‘ow!’ was so fake jules!

this is like anna and hans but not as bad underneath!

julia: “it’s nothing!” but this is turning out to be something... ;)

we’re half an hour in and wowza it’s gone by so fast! :D

winston: *gets a cute love note from julia* YEET!

THE HELICOPTER IS BACC!!!!! they’re really not making the spying subtle

OMG THIS IS THE THOUGHT CRIMINAL SCENE YAAAAS!!!!! :D

winston is the best plummer confirmed

kid: “you’re a thought criminal!” winston: *gives a slight ‘wha’ face and smiles* ICONIC

:)

the crowd is clapping and cheering over the war yet winston’s not doing anything SAME

jules is just scooching by lol

HAND HOLDING WHILE PASSING A NOTE OMG ♥♥

the sky does exist! :o

the telescreen has some great music :D

winston’s joining the ‘big man’s hiking group’ suure you are... ;)

the train is going to the beat of the kids’ singing coolio! :D

big brother is called ‘bb’ yas bby!

YEEES THE I WANT YOU VALLEY SCEENE!!!!!

the lq audio made the twig crack and the leave brushing really weird lol

winston: “i want you.” I-CON-IC!!!! :D

THAT SMIRK THO

winston: “i want everyone corrupt.” julia: “i’ll suit you, then. i’m corrupt to the core.” *mal screech*

OH NONONONOONO SHE GONNA TAKE HER TOP OFF BI PANIC BI PANICCC!!!!!

she really went commando huh

ALL THE WAY

the sex looks like it hurts NO WAY MAN NOT FOR ME NNNNOPE

i’m glad it was only a part you couldn’t really see and not a full on thing I DON’T NEED THAT

awww she’s so peaceful after big naughty :)

this is vaguely gay...

aww winston’s hair ruffling in the wind ♥

c r o n c h

also did he just cronch into a potato???

OMG THIS IS JUST LIKE SCHOOL

teacher: “when the orgasm is finally eradicated...” totally julia: “NOT ON MY WATCH”

winston is the kid who smokes in glass while julia is the one kid who Just Doesn’t Care lol :D

thoughtcrime THIS IS THOTCRIME

wow syme is still alive?

julia: “you dropped your ink pencil” you mean pen?

winnie’s back in prescott! :D

the room is 4 bucks a night noice B)

BACC TO THE H8 BBY

the modern say 2 minutes hate is probably just a livestream with kids texting ‘h8 xd’ in the chat lol :D

winston’s thoughts: “she who is so careful...” boi she threw a dictionary at the telescreen in the book THAT’S SO NOT CAREFUL

hey girl CUTE LQ SMILE YOU HAVE THERE!!! :D

YAS THE REAL COFFEE SCENE!!!!! :D

she has so many smiles YAS!!!!

she’s so eager with showing him I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JULES ♥♥♥

she says ‘real sugar, real bread’ and... jam

winston: “how did you manage to get all this?” jules has her ways... ;)

winston: “i want you” julia: “i want you too” YAS :D ♥♥

the thiccc singer is here!! :D

she’s so pretty! ♥

aww the stroke ♥

his hands are shaking as he touches her :(

winston: “freedom is the freedom to say two plus two equals four. if that is granted, all else follows” iconic!

YAS THE PAPER!!! :D

it be gin time ;)

he scratches the face off the gin bottle woah :o

I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS IS O’BRIEN :o

winston’s little ‘yes!’ at getting the 10th newspeak dictionary ♥

that’s a look of longing my friends! :o

winston: “the call has come. all my life i’ve been waiting for it...” and now he’ll go into the unknown... ;)

AAND we cut to naked julia eating an apple! slight bi panic

she’s touching the paperweight queen love it ♥

SHE KNOWS THE CLEMENS YAS!!! :D

julia: “i just know it!” BOI YOUR G-PA HELPED OUT

winston: “the only thing to do is to walk out of here before it’s too late” thus my ‘julia lives’ au comes in! :D

winston: “never seen one another again” ...oh he was talking about that NOT IN MY AU SON

julia: “you do, i do.” omg marriage :o

YAAAS JULSTON KISS!!!!!!! :D

fluffy! ♥

julia: “i love you.” awww :)

winston: “julia. do you think the resistance is real?” julia: “none of it’s real.” STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER!

♥

OMFG THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION :o

work is scrambling like eggs!

poor headache bby! :(

epic B)

winston’s dreaming of his bishy selfish chocolate mom adventure!

the rats were there when his mom and sister were vaporized! :o

she’s in the dress! ♥

they’re talking about betrayal and julia’s like ‘they can’t do that!” OH BOI BUT THEY CAN!!!!

julia: “they can’t get to your heart” aww :)

awkward...

winston sees o’brien WITHOUT JULIA THE F????

this feels like the principal’s office lol :D

o’brien’s voice is so deep and british ♥

the way he clutches the newspeak dictionary is so cute! :D

aww he’s stroking the pages as he reads :)

the oceania anthem sounds russian :o

YAAAAAAAASSSS!!!!!!! :D

so soft ♥♥

winston: “julia, my love.” MY LOVE MY LOVE AHHH!!!! :D

YEES THE COFFEE SMILEEE!!!!! :D

she’s hungry... she wants coffee... who’s gonna tell her coffee isn’t food?

omg i saw winston butt :o

:)

winston: “she’s beautiful.” julia: “she’s a meter around the hips easily” winston: “that’s her standard of beauty.” YAAAS!!! :D

winston: “the future is ours.” YAS

OH CRAP THEY SAID ‘WE ARE THE DEAD’ NOOOO

mr. charington is loud compared to how i thought in the book

his ‘you are the dead’ should’ve been quieter like winston and julia’s then he could be loud!

FBI OPEN UP!!!!!

charrington: “here comes a candle to guide you to bed, here comes a chopper to chop off your head!” OHHHH NICE ONE MR C!!!!!! :D

RIP TO A QUEEN :’(

i should be a bit more heartbroken BUT THAT MR C RHYME MAN

OMFG THEY JUST BEAT UP JULES

SHE’S IN SO MUCH PAIN NOOOO :’(

why does he look old

awww :(

delete the drunk old lady BUT GIVE US PARSONS SUUURE

i dread the scene to come...

parsons didn’t say that he said ‘down with big brother’ so that’s a bummer :/

aww poor parsons he’s crying! :(

oh SNAP room 101!!!! :o

poor parsons but at least that scene wasn’t a thing!

OUCH THAT SMACC LOOKED LIKE IT HURT

is this leading into the bloody mouth scene? I STILL NEED TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS

winston doesn’t know where he is IT’S THE I WANT YOU VALLEY!!!

hold up this is just a vision ok BUT WHERE’S THE BLOODY MOUTH SCENE

frankenstein and spirit halloween called!

also o’brien flipped the switch without warning BISH

o’brien: “you suffer from a defective memory” and you suffer from a BISH MEMORY SIR

remember winston it’s all in the mind... ;)

WHY DID O’BRIEN SHOCK  WINSTON HE SAID FIVE

'how many fingers’ is a trick question because winston sees four YET WE SEE FIVE OHHH

mother gothel vibes...

awww winston’s little scared squeak :(

winston: “i don’t know... i don’t know!” SAY FIVE WINSTON SAY FIVEEEEE

o’brien’s voice is so calming yet it spouts evil words...

julia immediately betrayed winston BECAUSE SHE HAD A ROSEMARY KENNEDY yet she’s somehow still alive without damage by the end???

ooh a new shot! :D

they just faded to black and showed a new angle which is a bit weird...

o’brien: “you’re thinking that my face is old and tired...” because it belongs to poor richard burton!

o’brien just yoinked winston’s tooth out tho :o

mother gothel strikes again!

winston to o’brien: “i love you.” you don’t say that back to jules YET YOU SAY IT TO O’BRIEN BOIIIII

o’brien: “you’re one of us. one of the chosen.” one of us gooble gobble! also ANAKIN IS THAT YOU????

winston just said ‘i love you’ oMG OMG OM WAIT WWAIIITIT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

seconds after she says ‘i love you too’ SHE’S FREAKING SHOT DAAANG NO PUNCHES PULLED BACK!!!!!

aww he called her ‘my love’ even in a dream

so that was the infamous bloody mouth scene and it was quicker than i thought it would be? at least i have a bright julia smile! ♥

OMG winston’s calling for her yet it sounds so weird WHYYY

he’s much improved!

they’re skyping lol

after all he’s been through he still hates bb! :o

ROOM 101 :o

room 101 is a personalized experience just for you! :D

also IT’S A DREAM MIRROR

omg the rats are GOING AT EACH OTHER GEEZ

winston’s squeak at the rats no!!! :(

‘do it to julia’ sounds a bit selfish but it’s the betrayal we’ve been waiting for!

...NOT

uh oh here comes the awkward reunion...

they should’ve said “...sup.” to each other

the bartender saying “on the house!’ tiredly each time is great :D

winston: “thank you for coming.” julia in her thoughts: “yeah whateves bro.” :/

at least they can still bond over something :)

jules gin time ;)

they ratted out on each other true love???

julia: “we must meet again.” winston: “yes, we must meet again.” ...they never met again

but if they did it would be a bro time!

winston: “i have seduced party members of both sexes” BI NANI???? :o

since his crimes are like the guy’s from earlier... what if he didn’t do them and was convinced that he did? :o

in the book he says i love you to bb, but here he turns away and says it... what if he still loves julia? :o

and with that question, the movie has come to a close! it’s a fantastic little film that closely follows the book. while i would’ve liked to see julia with winston at o’brien’s and the drunk jail lady, the cutting of the gross parsons scene, the addtion of the bloody mouth scene and the possibly hopeful ending make up for it. overall, this is an amazing adaptation of such a great book! :D

[blapisblogs]

Oh god... Yeah, right after the in-video ad break, we’re hit with this: Doug Walker dressed like a Nazi with a smudged dotted line around his face and the words “person you hate” written on his forehead in sharpie. Dude, if this moment didn’t make you stop and wonder what the fuck happened with your life to bring you to this moment, then it damn well should’ve been.

Before you ask if this was based on something from the film or album, yes, but as usual there’s context for it. It’s difficult for me to explain, but in short the idea is that Pink’s attempt to build a metaphorical wall between himself and everyone else is making him more and more mentally unsound, right up to the point where after he’s forced to be drugged up for one of his shows he hallucinates himself as a fascist (the very thing his father died fighting against), the fans his zealous followers, and his concerts rallies where he encourages violence against marginalized groups. This goes on for a few songs with the violence and threats escalating in each one, and by the end of the last one he’s ranting and raving incoherently on a megaphone until the hallucination ends as he shouts for it all to stop, finally realizing how dangerous the things he’s been doing to himself are. It’s disturbing, and intentionally so. That’s what I got out of both the album and the film anyway. I have no clue what Doug Walker got out of this part of the film, though, because these next two parody songs have almost nothing to do with it. The first one mentions it so people will know that it’s a parody of something from the film, but that’s about it, and the second one doesn’t mention anything about the film or album at all.

The next two parodies are of “In the Flesh” (the reprise), and “Waiting for the Worms”, neither of which I will post links to based on what I explained earlier, but if you want to look them up yourself I will warn you that there are things said there that are identical to things the Nazis have said and done, and use words like “queers” and others that I dare not say nor want to. (Also, yeah, they didn’t include “Run Like Hell”, presumably because Doug couldn’t think of another full parody’s worth of “fuck you, haters” for it.) In the parody of the former, Doug addresses his crowd of followers, which are the same five people copy-pasted onto the screens of multiple devices (I can’t tell if that’s supposed to be intentional commentary or Doug didn’t have enough people willing to work with him to pull off what he wanted for this), in a place called the “Echo Chamber”.

Yes, really.

It’s supposed to be commentary on how bad callout/outrage/cancel/purity/whatever-we’re-calling-it-this-month culture can be, but considering who this is coming from, what his own fans are like, and the rest of the presentation in this “review” it comes off more like “technology bad” and “social media bad”. Worse than that, the latter parody song is still about callout/outrage/cancel/etc. culture, only now it’s even more apparent that this is his way of commenting on the Change the Channel movement. This isn’t just me saying this either, other people have taken note on it as well, including people who didn’t even completely hate Doug Walker after the Change the Channel thing happened. I’ve seen one person try to (rather weakly) argue that it wasn’t trying to mock the Change the Channel movement, but even if one were to give them the benefit of the doubt and they weren’t making fun of that, then 1: they still should’ve known that doing something like this was going to get people to draw comparisons to said movement whether it was intended or not, and 2: it’s still absurdly over-the-top and out of touch with why “outrage/cancel/callout/whatever culture” has become a thing. It’s about as subtle as, well, a hammer to the face. (Speaking of which, the hammers for this parody are used to make hashtags instead of an ‘x’ and instead of chanting “Pink Floyd” or “Hammers” the fans chant “hashtag”. I’ve been sitting here for five minutes trying to think of how to comment on this, but all I can do is put a hand up to my face like Captain Picard in those memes, I think that says it all.)

This message of “technology and social media bad” is so ridiculously passé at this point that it’s laughable, and yet it seems like Doug Walker is under the impression that he’s saying something new and brilliant. This is also a truly bizarre message to be hearing from a guy who had so much success with his internet career that he quit his previous job to pursue it full-time. You know, that career that’s dependent on technology. (Also, Doug, social media itself didn’t cause those problems with said internet career: that was all you.)

The sad part is that for this sequence we get some brief scenes with actually good CGI of things like marching smartphones (identical to the original’s marching hammers) and a decently-animated 2-D(-ish?) sequence of a six-fingered hand coming up from the ground and forming into a hammer much like something that happened during part of the film (not this part specifically, but a part). It’s weird in context, but these animated parts look far better than any of the other effects that were used earlier. I’m guessing the guest person who made the effects I’ll talk about later also animated this (at least the CGI bits; as I said earlier, the 2-D-ish parts look so suspiciously close to the original that I have to wonder if they were traced over for this). While it is good, that just makes me wonder that if they were hired to make the animation in this part then why didn’t Doug let them animate the black eagle scene for the “Goodbye Blue Sky” parody section too? He clearly had the time and budget to get a talented animator to do this stuff for him, so why not fully use them?

Also, I swear one of the visuals looks more like a mashup between something from the opening of Phantom of the Paradise and The Wall than anything actually from The Wall alone. Maybe Doug and/or the person animating this got their rock operas momentarily mixed. Maybe they did this on purpose to mess with people. Maybe my brain’s making up this shit because a Phantom of the Paradise/The Wall double feature sounds infinitely better than this “review”. Maybe the headache I’ve gotten while watching this dumpster fire is fucking with me. I don’t know.

[Lyrics (and snark) below the cut]

Oh yeah, I’m the P-Person you all think you know That sucks up all your angst and confusion I’m that nameless foe, huh!

[Oh, so you are trying to do an impression of Bob Geldof. ...It shouldn’t take me over half-way into the “review” to figure out for sure that’s what you’re doing. Or did you choose to only actually do an impression of him for just this one part? I can’t even fathom almost any of Doug’s thought process for this “review” anymore.]

I’ve got some weird news for ya, sunshine, This was dissin’ Thatcher’s administration

[So I have seen Wikipedia mention that at least some people have either interpreted or used this part as commentary on Margaret Thatcher, and I don’t know enough about UK politics to dispute whether it was intentional or not. What bothers me is that if this was intentional, then how did Doug pick up on this? That would mean that he either caught this but somehow didn’t pick up on any of the other, more obvious things in this film that doesn’t have “the slightest bit of subtlety”, or he researched this and only this. Or it was a random guess he made that happens to coincide with what some others have interpreted from this part. Who knows.]

But it’s vague enough to put anyone you fear - Politician, showman - just put their face here!

[Uh... Are you talking about how someone edited this part of The Wall so that it was Drumpf in there because of how much he talks about his stupid wall? ...You are aware that the entire point of the film and album is that those kind of walls aren’t good and should be broken down, right? You know that Roger Waters himself openly despises Drumpf, right? ...Right?]

Are there any authority figures in the crowd tonight? Well put them in The Wall! (Get. Them. All.) That one’s looking stressed, he wants to feel oppressed Put him in The Wall! (Post. His. Balls!)

[Oh yes, The Wall - a film about the cycle of abuse and the effects it has on people and how taking self-isolation to its most extreme is unhealthy for the health of one’s self as well as those around them, among many other things - is something that adults don’t take seriously, not like this web video that has lines talking about people posting some dude’s balls on social media for shits and giggles. (In case you couldn’t tell that was sarcasm.)]

And that one looks sheltered, like she never leaves her room I’ll be that friend that you can blame for all your gloom That one looks like he really wants to be outraged! Now with social media, you have the stage!

[...You know, as awful as the previous songs in this “review” were, at least they were about the film and album. This, however... What even is this?]

(This is the part where the five-person audience starts chanting “hashtag” which goes on until Doug and his two goons run outside, run back inside due to it being too bright out, and then start the next parody. There’s not much to comment on for that, it’s just stupid.)

[End “In the Flesh” parody, begin “Waiting for the Worms” parody]

(One, two, three, post it!) Ooh, you can’t convince me now Ooh, I’m too far on my side Goodbye, nuance I never will abide

[You are not one to talk about nuance, not regarding this film or album, and certainly not about the Change the Channel movement, which this parody is pretty transparently about as we’ll see soon enough.]

It’s us vs. them, I don’t even know who us or them are

[“Us and them, and after all we're only ordinary men.” Come on, man, I know it’s not from The Wall, but the opportunity was right there. Actually, since Rob Walker is there as the Charts Guy (a recurring character in Doug’s reviews), you could’ve even thrown in a “Have a Cigar” reference if you wanted (also not from The Wall, but still). I know at this point I’m nitpicking, but I’m forcing myself to watch a “review” where a guy dressed himself like a Nazi to make a blatant “take that” statement against his “haters” without understanding and/or caring why the Nazi comparisons were there in the original; if Doug Walker doesn’t give a shit about those kind of details, then why should I.]

I just wanna be angry so I can be (Tweeting) About those who hate me (Tweeting) I need their attention (Tweeting) Love me or hate me, just look at me more

[Sadly one can’t say that this train wreck of a “review” didn’t make at least some people look at Doug Walker again even after they didn’t want to.]

(Tweeting) Whatever side you choose, just don’t ever wane (Tweeting) Waiting for the point

[I’d joke about how that’s how most people felt about the video at this point, but everyone has made that joke already. Everyone.]

Don’t fear that you’re wrong Just fight until the end, my friend

[At this point I could just say “Okay, Boomer” at every line in these two parody songs and it’d be about as meaningful as all of Doug’s comments about the actual film. Remember, the film he’s parodying here and supposed to be reviewing (allegedly)? The film he’s not mentioned once in this particular parody?]

All you need to do is fight off something Don’t worry! As long as you don’t see me as human, You can hate me all you want! Because remember, this can never happen to you! I’m bad! You’re good! The more extreme you can get the more happy you’ll become! They’ll put that person whose face you hate here, and tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet!

[...Doug, please tell me you didn’t have these parody songs in mind first as a sort of rebuttal against your detractors and then used it as an excuse to make a “review” for the actual film in this style as well as a whole parody album of it...

Also, this may be another nitpick, but towards the end the guys aren’t even “marching” in time to the music. Because of course they’re not.]

[energonalucard]

Killer Kyoudai AU

Kyoudai= Brothers

Wait? What do you mean? You just said their names?

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:12 PM

… Hey. Would the Killer Kyoudai been more interesting as Magnum’s brothers in the main series than his actual brothers?

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:13 PM

…huh

AU: The Killer Brothers are Magnum Ace's brothers and the Silver/Fighter Brothers were made just to counter the murder sprees they go on as detectives. They also adopt Magnum at one point.

This is the wonderful trip on Discord that happened to the AU... Also, I'm "Minion tO WHO?" and yes, I wanna change my name too. It's bugging my brain. :P

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:13 PM

Magnum having no brothers, then suddenly the KK or the KK always being his bros?

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:14 PM

I never said good. Just interesting. Like, if applied, it might say a lot of Magnum as an Iron Soldier. Latter.

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:16 PM

The Killer Kyoudai being the brothers that would seduce and kill as they please, and being soldiers isn't any better. Magnum being the heavy arms kinda bro.

Just musing...

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:16 PM

that would actually be kind of interesting, though

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:16 PM

Killer Kyoudai trying to get him back into the old days

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:19 PM

"Come on Nii-san~" Killer Q would say as he puts his leg up on the Leaguer they'd nearly beat to death. "Oh kick wouldn't hurt! For old time sake~!"

"Yes! It would!" Magnum cries, "Get off him! And I don't do that anymore!"

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:21 PM

heck, they'd be the ones who engineered GZ's kidnapping, probably

they might even remember him and feel like messing with him for old times' sake

…………yo imagien this applied to hero au, holy smokes

         (( Hero AU is a Iron Leaguer AU based on super powered human Silver Castle taking on the world! It's really good! ))

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:25 PM

"Nii-chan!" Killer Q attaching himself to Magnum's side.

Magnum trying to pry away. "No!"

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:25 PM

OAO OH MY GOD

And just when we’re making Spirits and Arrow the most lovingly good brothers in Hero AU too!

Like, they were so close as the Silver San Kyoudai. Inseparable

Chaoit-Yesterday at 6:27 PM

whhhy

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:27 PM

A big part of Spirits' character arc is actually him learning that he needs to stop blaming himself for Magnum's 'disappearance'.

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:28 PM

It's like a Spanish soap opera stereotype! 

*joking narrator voice* Who's parents had three kids? Who has the paperwork for Magnum's birth?

Chaoit-Yesterday at 6:28 PM

oh my god that'd be crazy

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:29 PM

I just think it would be interesting if Magnum was forced to become a villain, and then in the killer brothers au, they ended up willingly doing some villain stuff

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:30 PM

The Silver Kyoudai, in the Killer Brother AU, are Girochi's counter to these murderous brothers.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:30 PM

…oooh

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:30 PM

Nothing too special, just them being suspicious of Magnum as well.

"You have the same coding, and the same ferocity as them! Who's to say you won't kill for pleasure as well?"

"I'm not my brothers! I've changed!"

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:32 PM

and silver castle stands by him against the killer brothers

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:33 PM

"The words of few, don't counter the names of the dead." Arrow would say as they back down. They don't wanna start a fight.

!!!

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:40 PM

But you know what would be awesome? Magnum proving himself and then the fighter brothers just end up adopting him

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:40 PM

The Silver Kyoudai being like detectives because we don't fully understand their origins.That would make the FK's already cold shoulder to Magnum make sense. And they actually hug him at the end.

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:43 PM

YES

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:45 PM

I'm not salty I swear

Them actually treating Magnum good when they get videos and tapes of the old brothers antics and seeing Frontier grow traumatised.

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:46 PM

Again. All up for loving Fighter Brothers

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:46 PM

What would the KK's old names be???

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 6:47 PM

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:49 PM

Could they be the Silver's or should they be Platinum or Bronze...

Chrome actually seems nice! It's just like silver, but it's blended with steel and is usually higher quality then gold.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 6:57 PM

Chrome Frontier for magnum. Then Chrome Harpoon for Q, maybe? And Chrome Intrepid for B. or switch as needed

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 6:58 PM

Intrepid is more humerous, so Q fits better.

B as Harpoon actually sounds cool!Birth order?

I feel...

B, Magnum, Q?

Or Magnum, B, Q?

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:00 PM

middle, maybe?

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:00 PM

Chrome Harpoon, Chrome Frontier, Chrome Intrepid.

Sounds awesome!

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 7:01 PM

Q missed his big brother so much

And seeing him turn into such a goodie good?

utter betrayal in his eyes

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:02 PM

Magnum was probably always the more morally upstanding one. like, he might have done some rough play, but he always kind of hated it

Still No Puffins-Yesterday at 7:03 PM

Killer B always had arguments with him

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:07 PM

Killer B being the kinda older brother you'd hate to get angry. Girochi gave Harpoon responsibility over  Frontier and Intrepid and he takes Harpoin's word for everything.

Shock circuit lv 1 almost every time you don't kill someone must be traumatizing.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:10 PM

When they were retired, Frontier tried to run away. When his brother s found him, he ran to them, thinking they had escaped too and now they could run away. Imagine his horror when he realizes that they have upgrades, but they're willing to go and kill, and they grab him and cart him off to be reformatted.

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:11 PM

His screams of terror still rock Richard, and he promises to make the G3 better then this. More loving then this.

Girochi separating VZ for one mission only and the absence of BV and QV at his side makes a small spark in his head say, 'Is Harpoon making you...?'

His old life flashes before his eyes and he drops the Leaguer head he had crushed.

Fleeing to Earth is the same, recruiting is the same except...Magnum has no tolerance for breaking Silver Castle's pacifist streak. NO TOLERANCE AT ALL.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:22 PM

and when he sees the way the GSK stick together, he feels a pang of longing

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:22 PM

Top Joy getting a hand ball? Okay, fine. Top Joy kicking it in their own goal? Fine. Top Joy attacking another mech in Soccer? No way! TOP JOY WITH A BOMB?! They're having a talk.

Longing, yes. Forgiving, not really.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:24 PM

well, yes. but like… he kind of wishes that he'd had that

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:27 PM

Definitely! He wishes they'd have their relationship, but he knows it's too good to be true. Doesn't keep him from staring at the stars wanting his brothers arms around him as they celebrate finding him safe.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:28 PM

When they actually show up, he gets their arms around him. And he wants them to let go.

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:30 PM

He can feel death clinging to them. He knows they missed him, but he's beyond the cute "Nii-san!" act. His team has taught him about health relationships by now, and the clawing paws of these too are filled with blood.

Death and satisfaction are hard to breathe in. And Magnum is overheating.

Magnum shrugging them off and looking at them. Was... Was Dark f!ching kidding? Silver Castle was so well off they... stooped so low to beat them!

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:35 PM

…yo. Imagine the Killer Brothers specifically targeting Windy to beat the sh!t out of him because how dare their brother find someone else?

      (( Torture Warning ))

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:37 PM

Beating the hell out of the Gold Brothers too because aren't they just cute! Killer B holding up Gold Arm's head as Killer Q takes pictures after beating them all up because they have a say on if they get on the team or not.

Magnum x4 trauma when he receives pictures of all four being beaten. Even Windy, on field. How had he missed that?

Them finding Gold Foot adorable. He wanted to protect everyone, and his fire and defiance was similar to Magnum's~!

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:41 PM

I wasn't even thinking on field. i was thinking they jumped windy while he was taking a walk and took their sweet time torturing him physically and psychologically

 …oh man. maybe they even see how the gold brothers are like them. also, imagine them (this is gory) mentioning how Arm has firey eyes, and Q rips one out to take a look at it

maybe not but still

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:42 PM

Yes! It's an AU, so it doesn't matter how gory! All the gore!

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:42 PM

i can write some good gore. i like writing the occasional gory fic

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:42 PM

Arm's eye, Foot's leg(s), and Mask's teeth.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:43 PM

maybe not teeth. maybe those finials. heck, maybe foot/arm p!sses them off and so they take it out on mask

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:45 PM

Mask losing more then his finals after Foot tries to tear B's face off. Mask looses his finals, everything attached to the finals, loses all his spikes violently (feet and shoulders), his chest armor as they mess with his none lethal innards.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:47 PM

and they punch and kick him, they mess up his face, too. their cleats cut him up, and Q stomps on his hand, shattering some of the mechanisms

the wrorst part: Foot knew there'd be consequences for that. He was paranoid, expecting them at every turn.

he wasn't expecting mask to show up at his door after dragging himself up to their quarters

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:49 PM

The only thing working in Mask's bodies are his legs, and he just falls on Foot's floor and doesn't wanna move.Him screaming for Arm, for Foot, and still softly crying for them on Foot's own floor. Arm pulling out his IV's as he takes off when Foot calls him about this.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:53 PM

I mean, I bet they're fine with doing a lot of things b/c the mechanics can fix it

…yo. thunder bolt captures GZ. someone attacks him, and GZ breathes a sigh of relief…

…until he sees who it is

Chaoit-Yesterday at 7:54 PM

yep, then it's like 'I think I preferred my attacker'

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:54 PM

They rip into Thunder Bolt like paper, GZ seeing what the battlefield can do to psychopaths. And the oil that freezes on the ice stains him as well.

Robot Harem Animes-Yesterday at 7:55 PM

and then they turn to him

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 7:56 PM

Them being vicious and just circling him like predators as they skate slowly.

"Nii-san chooses the weirdest friends!" Q would say happily.

"Thicker armor, war grade, 1000 year stare. He is a strange one." B would chuckle, "But he's not all that tough. He fell in a trap with lions."

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 8:02 PM

Q coming closer to GZ's face and taking in his eyes as he goes back to circling. "His eyes are pretty, but not as pretty as Gold Arm's! It's still in my chassis pocket, Nii-san!"

GZ just has the biggest heart attack ever, and that's saying something. Gold Arm's... eye? What did they do to them?

B taking Q's place in GZ's face. "Don't tell him anything, commander. This is an officers meeting and very coincidental."

"Nii-san... Someone entered the building and is heading this way." Q pipes up as Magnum and all Silver Castle bursts into the building. "We need to vanish."

They frame GZ. They knock him out, untie him, and put their murder weapons on GZ's person and make him hold it. They slink out a back entrance.

Chaoit-Yesterday at 8:19 PM

((well shit

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 8:20 PM

Remember what I said about Magnum taking no shit from rough play? Oh boy!

Be doesn't know what to believe. He knows GZ couldn't have done it but all the paper's were talking about the autopsy of Thunder Bolt. It's a hockey weapon, it's very strong, and it looks to have been one assailant because the murder weapon was left on the ice.

"It was the Killer Kyoudai, you have to believe me, Magnum!" GZ would beg as the team didn't know what to do here.

"GZ... I believe you." Magnum will say as he startles GZ a bit. "But the news articles... They won't see it like us... If only we had proof. Like if they stashed something away..."

Stashed? On their person...? Gold Arm's eye!

"Magnum, I have an idea!" GZ would look at Magnum with determination here.

Chaoit-Yesterday at 8:26 PM

risky risky))

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 8:27 PM

Since the G3 are being fixed in secret orders, and no one is the wiser about their condition. The KK can be free reined on the rink next week. Oh wait, those Silver Brothers were in the way...

The Silver Brothers are introduced here on the rinks as it's their big entrance. They are ace detectives, and Girochi is confident with them here, and incident like Thunder Bolts either won't happen or won't stay a mystery for long.

The Silver Brothers suspect Magnum Ace, Killer Q, Killer B, GZ, and Flash Kid. All have a motive to kill Thunder Bolt in cold blood for practise on a rink.They try to keep Silver Castle in their pacifist circle but Flash Kid and the Killer Brothers seem to always overwhelm the the underdogs.

They also might have history with Chrome Frontier...

In one episode, they clash and have a memory surge... 

Turns out...

           (( This is where Chronological Order becomes shit, so bear with me here. We were hyped up on ideas and everything went to shit. But you know where everything goes, hopefully. 😅 ))

After the Chrome Kyoudai killed a whole team of underdogs who tarnished their Dark name by winning, and Silver Justice and Silver Gallant were on the case back then. They had many restless nights as the CK kept killing while they accidentally fussed over paperwork.

Silver Gallant and Silver Justice are threatened with retirement from their sports if they don't find the murderers and they are like 1000% stressing until... Chrome Frontier knocks on their door with a broken and oil stained bat. He confesses everything and he rats out his brothers as he cries out he didn't wanna kill them.

That's how the Chrome Kyoudai were pulled in the Iron Soldier Program and Frontier tried to run away. But his brothers dragged him kicking and screaming into the underground as they wanted to kill kill kill and Frontier wasn't ruining this for them.

The Silver Kyoudai were retired because they knew too much about everything, and they made good looking war products.

Back to present day, Magnum gets access to their system by accident and wins the match that leads them into the championships.

GZ calling everyone into a meeting after the game. Once everyone gathers, he whips out a Leaguer's eye and holds it out. "I got Gold Arm's eye."

Chaoit-Yesterday at 8:46 PM

((GZ what the hell boy?

((tact is a thing you need to practice

Minion tO WHO?-Yesterday at 8:47 PM

Top Joy gagging, Ryuuken being disgusted, and Windy being angry on why he had it.

Magnum explains, "The Gold Brothers must be in danger, GZ got the eye off of Killer Q's person. The Gold Brothers, as reported by Juurouta, had to fight to Killer Kyoudai to get back in Dark... They could be dead."

GZ nods as he hands it to Bull Armor, the only one with medical knowledge of any kind here. "They told me as they slaughtered Thunder Bolt that my eyes were as cute as the one they had on them. Gold Arm's."

Bull examines it and cringes. "The line that connects it to the cortex is strained and stretched. It was ripped out..."

Top Joy might have fainted.

Windy might have punched a hole somewhere.

And Ryuuken might have swore a bad one.

Juurouta pipes up. "How do we catch them. Even their own ace detectives can't track the two they bunk with."

It's starting to slow down on me, I'm going to make a part 2 and I'll see if it helps! Read more if you dare! 😈

[ecotone99]

[SP] The Masquerade

Note: This is a stand-alone vignette set in the same universe as a long-form story I'm working on, The Heplion Contingency, which is in a cyberpunk/space opera setting where psychic powers take the place of technology. This story (and others) can also be found in Wattpad and in my writing blog.

Three Towers Inn. The Abyri-style pub’s name was as generic as they came, but Maya didn’t mind. There was something comforting about its lazy stereotyping. You know what to expect from this place, it seemed to suggest, and that familiarity was precious when settling into a new town. Especially when one has something to hide… which Maya did. Being constantly on guard was stressful, so any occasion to under-analyze was welcome.

She opened the door, stepped inside, and sighed deeply. The muggy air inside, lined with the smell of wood paneling, filled her lungs as the buzz of idle conversation washed over her, interspersed with the lull of some folk-pop on the phonograph. Welp, time to start it all over again, she thought as she briefly scanned the place – phony-vintage décor all around, furnishing that leaned more toward cozy than chic, and a remarkably diverse-looking crowd, a lot of it non-human. Since there’s nobody I know who can show me the ropes around here, this looks like as good a place as any to start from scratch.

She slowly walked toward the bar, eyeing a couple ladies who seemed more or less promising. No rush, she thought. Better take it slow, not blow it on my first day here. She rapped the counter thrice for luck – once for the Father, once for the Mother, once for the Elder – and hailed the bartender. “Beer,” she called out.

“New in the area?” the Halachian bartender, a hulking figure with a slanting forehead and large teeth, asked as he brought her drink.

“Yeah, just moved in.” Maya took a sip. “Aaah. Good stuff.”

The bartender smiled. “Huxtaber. Not many people know it, but if you ask me, nothing beats it.”

“You know how to make a girl happy.” She raised the glass in a toast and took a swig.

“You looking to make friends? ‘Cause you’ve got a candidate,” he said, pointing with his chin.

Maya sighed. Here come the creeps, she thought, and slowly turned around to see who he was indicating. To her glad surprise, it was a young, light-skinned woman, leaned against the wall by the pool table, who was intently eyeing her with a smirk.

Am I really this lucky? Maya thought. It was just a random bar, not the local scene; she expected a lot of fruitless nights before she found someone like her. Well, she wasn’t looking a gift horse in the mouth. She smiled at the girl for a second and turned back toward the bar, with trained discretion.

“Hello there,” the lady said a short while later, sitting beside Maya. Her playful tone indicated she really was in the right track. “Love seeing a new face around here.”

Maya smirked. “Yeah, I’m new in town. Fresh off the portal today, in fact. Say, you having anything?”

“Same as yours sounds good.” She kept her intense eyes fixed on Maya’s. “So, where are you from?”

“One of these for her,” Maya said to the bartender. “Oh, and Abyron. Lived there my whole life, in fact.”

“Wow, really? This place must look so corny for you! I actually feel bad for you, seeing your culture butchered like this.”

Maya laughed. “Nah, it’s fine. I like it, really. Abyri pubs are the same all around the galaxy, y’know? So even the phoniness feels really familiar.”

The girl picked up her beer. “I see. And I guess we’re pretty used to phoniness in our daily lives, huh?” She stared deeply into Maya as she took a swig.

“You know it, girl. Can’t put the mask down.” She held the other woman’s gaze for a while, drinking in the moment. “Oh. I’m Maya.”

“Anji.” They exchanged two brief kisses in the cheek. “My pleasure.”

“Why, hello there, Anji.” She laid her head on her hand, elbow on the counter. “Gotta say, I’m really glad to have found you. Thought it’d take me forever to run across someone like us in here.”

Anji laughed. “Yeah, I know what that’s like. Took me a couple months to find the local scene when I rolled into town, myself. Can you imagine, all that time alone?”

“Wow, months? And I thought Abyron was hard… Aren’t there a lot of us here?”

“There are, but you know how it is. It’s not like we advertise ourselves. It’s a big city, and without anyone to introduce you, takes a while to find the others.”

Maya held Anji’s hand, smiling. “Seems I was really lucky to find you, then.”

Anji smiled back. “You were. And yeah, I decided to take a chance. Maybe it’s because of how it was for me, but when I saw you giving off signs, I thought I wouldn’t wait around for confirmation.”

“Really glad you did, girl. Sticking your neck out like that, coming on to someone you’re not sure is up for it. Thanks… really.”

“So…” Anji took another pull of her beer. “You ready to meet the rest?”

“Really?” Maya was fine with just enjoying Anji… but, on the other hand, she could really use the feeling of community right then. “You’re introducing me to the local scene? I’ve heard it’s wild!”

“You have no idea.” She had a wicked look. “Hey, there’s a club where we can be ourselves.” She leaned in and whispered. “I mean, really be ourselves… or whoever we want. No masks… unless you want them, that is.”

“Wow… I mean, I’ve heard about places like that, but never thought I’d go to one!” She laughed. “You must be thinking it’s really backward where I’m coming from, and I’d say you’re about right…”

“I’m talking total freedom,” Anji whispered. “Let your imagination run wild, y’know?”

“I don’t know…” Maya’s smile betrayed her excitement. “I mean, I’d love to meet our local fellows, but I’ve never let myself just… go like that, y’know?”

“Come on… wouldn’t you like to just be yourself? I know it can be scary, but I promise you, once you’ve tried it, you’ll be glad you did.”

“Ah, what the hell!” She got her wallet out to pay for their beers. “You only live once, right?”

“That’s the spirit! Come on, let’s ditch this place.”

A couple minutes later, they were in a cab, rolling toward the harbor district. Maya didn’t quite catch the address – not that it would’ve done her a whole lot of good if she had, with how unfamiliar she was with the city. The recklessness of what she was doing made her heart race… and she liked it. Well, being in the back of a cab with a hot girl was appealing, too – but Maya realized the uncertainty, the whole danger of going to a seedy part of town in the middle of the night with someone she just knew, thrilled her as well.

Anji remained silent throughout the trip. She stole glances at Maya once in a while, a mischievous smile on her face, as if she could barely contain an exciting secret. Maya, for her part, would rather throw herself at Anji right then and there, the cab’s conductor be damned – however, feeling in uncertain footing, she thought it best to leave the initiative to the other girl. I’ve gotten this far, she pondered. Don’t have an opportunity like this every day… better not blow it by being too thirsty.

At last, after what seemed like an interminable ride, they arrived at a small alley tucked between warehouses, entirely too quiet at this hour of the night for comfort. “Don’t worry,” Anji said, apparently sensing Maya’s apprehension. “The area’s safer than it looks. We make sure of that.”

“O…kay.” Maya wasn’t sure if that last part made her feel more or less secure, but she was in too deep to start wondering now. “Lead the way, then!”

The pair left the cab and made their way to a discreet iron door at the edge of one of the warehouses. A large man, wearing a cheap suit and a grim face, stood beside it with crossed arms. As they approached, he followed them with a distrustful gaze, in silence.

“Hey there, Ashkon!” Anji said, with a chipper smile. “It’s me, Anji!”

The man’s face opened up. “Oh, hi, Anji! Looking good today, huh?”

“Thanks! I’ve found this lost sheep that I’m bringing back to our herd.” She tugged at Maya’s arm.

“Uh, hi there!” Maya waved. “I’m Maya.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Ashkon said. He produced a set of keys, unlocked the door with a loud clang, and opened it for them. “Please, come in.”

“I’ve never seen a nightclub this… discreet,” Maya said, as she followed her partner into a narrow corridor and down a couple flights of stairs.

“What can I say?” Anji shrugged. “It’s exclusive. Just us. Gotta make sure of that, right?”

“I suppose so…” This has better be really good, Maya thought.

At the bottom of the stairs, another burly man guarded a heavy door. “Anji”, the mysterious girl said. “And this is Maya. She’s one of us.”

The man nodded, and then unlocked and opened the door without saying a word. “Jambie’s quiet, but he’s really sweet,” Anji whispered.

Some light piano music wafted out of the door, together with a quiet, subdued buzz of conversation. As the pair stepped inside, Maya was struck by an astonishing scene, whose visual extravagance poorly matched the tinny sounds that preceded it.

A wild menagerie of creatures, vaguely humanoid in shape but highly varied in every other aspect, was scattered across the tables of a finely appointed dining hall. A purple-skinned, green-haired woman was talking to a large, upright-walking cat and a shifting blob of oozing orange flesh nearby. At a buffet counter to the side, a being with a serpent’s head and bright, multicolored feathers all over their body patiently waited for their turn, while what looked like a short, wide man made of moss-covered rock availed himself of hors d’oeuvres. A wild bout of laughter came from a table, where a hyena-headed woman wildly gesticulated, cocktail cup in hand, while telling some story to a group of friends, one of them consisting of a collection of simple, blocky shapes in primary colors. A young woman who appeared to be made of ice sat silently across a large man, whose bulbous, bulging flesh constantly changed colors and textures. And, interspersed among the crowd, there were several creatures with the same appearance – humanoids with metallic, shimmering skin, broad arms and legs ending in three thick digits each, and completely smooth, featureless heads that jutted out from their torsos at a forward angle.

A rasping laughter came from Maya’s side. “C’mon, don’t just stand there gawking! Let’s mingle a bit.” She turned and saw the voice came from what looked like a rainbow-colored wolf person.

“W-what’s going on here?” Maya asked, nervous. “Who are you?”

“What? You don’t like it?” The wolf-person laughed again. “Oh, I see. That’s not how you met me. I’ll change back, if it makes you more comfortable.” The creature’s form shifted, its snout pulling back into its face, hair growing out on top of its head and being reabsorbed into the skin on the rest of the body, its size, proportions and color changing, until it settled in the form Maya had known as Anji. “I’ll still go back to that one tonight, though,” she said, wagging her finger. “Been meaning to try it out for a while.”

“Wha… aaaaahhhh!” Maya had so many questions at once that she couldn’t manage to formulate anything other than a primal scream.

“Lady?” One of the metallic-skinned creatures approached, gently touching Maya’s shoulder with its three knobby fingers. “Are you alright?” it said, with a voice like a coil being scraped across a lead pipe.

“Aaaah!” Maya recoiled from the creature. “NO! I am not alright!”

“Maya?” Anji said softly. “Calm down. It’s okay. We’re among friends here.”

“Get away from me!” Maya pushed her back. “Whatever you are, you all are not friends!”

“Is it because of all these true-forms in public? Hey, I know our conditioning runs deep, but you can relax now. Look, I’m going first.” She changed shape again, this time assuming the form of one of those metallic-skinned beings. “See?” it asked, with that strange metallic voice. “Why don’t you try it yourself?”

“Anji!” the other creature said sternly. “That’s not one of us. Why did you bring her here?”

“W-what are you people?” Maya asked.

“That can’t be right, I…” Anji paused for a moment, focusing intensely on Maya. “Shit, you’re right. Look at the mess in her head!”

“You’re in my head?!” Maya exclaimed.

“How the hell do you bring someone around without scanning them first?” the feathered snake yelled. Several creatures were approaching, forming a circle around Maya and Anji.

“I… I was so sure, it seemed so obvious…” Anji said, changing back into her familiar human form. Some of the beings closest to them shifted into large, intimidating forms. “What was all that business about ‘masks’ and ‘people like us’ you were going on about at the bar?”

Maya’s eyes welled up. “I… thought you were like me.”

“Like what?” Anji asked. “What is it you were trying to hide so carefully?”

Maya sobbed. “You know…” she strained out her words. “Homosexual.”

“What?!” the creature that had approached them earlier exclaimed. “Why the hell would anyone need to hide that?”

“Yeah, Maya, c’mon,” Anji said, a quizzical look on her face. “That doesn’t make any sense. You’re a lesbian, you go to a lesbian bar. Just look one up, there’s a bunch of them.”

“No…” Maya struggled among her tears. “You don’t know what it’s like back home… I couldn’t just announce that to anyone!”

“Tsk,” the hyena-headed woman clicked. “Those Union humans. So barbaric.”

“Wait…” Anji touched Maya’s arm, concerned. “You really went through all that trouble because you were afraid of the repercussions, if the wrong people found out you’re gay? Wow… that’s messed up.”

“Who gives a shit?” one of the creatures that had transformed into a large, hulking figure bellowed. “She’s not one of us, and she knows. You know what that means.” Other creatures started yelling in agreement.

“Wait, what?” Maya asked, suddenly snapped out of her anguish. “What does that mean?”

“Calm down, folks,” Anji pleaded. “She’s lost. She… was just trying to live out a lie. You all know damn well what that’s like, don’t you?”

“Of course we do,” the metallic creature said. “Still, she knows about our secret.”

“I won’t tell!” Maya blurted out. “I promise, I won’t! I wouldn’t even know what to tell in the first place!”

“Shh.” Anji hugged Maya. “Hush. Don’t worry.”

“I’m serious,” the strange being insisted. “You know how it is. I get that she’s like us on some level, but what difference does it make?”

“The difference,” Anji said, producing a knife from under her coat, “is that we make it painless.” She thrusted the weapon into Maya’s heart through her back, before the woman could realize what she meant.

submitted by /u/SirKazum [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2YS9Bvp

[thealpacalypse-archive]

1-50 #notevensorry #ily

oh wow, so much for going to bed early today^^

1. what’s your favorite musical?

ALL OF THEM

but my top faves over the years have been Elisabeth, 3 Musketiers, Into The Woods, RENT, Jesus Christ Superstar, Book of Mormon, Hamilton, and most recently, Dear Evan Hansen

2. favorite character in your favorite musical?

Robert from Company, Elphaba, The Witch from Into The Woods, Angel from RENT

3. what’s your favorite play?

bruh, SO MANY. recently i’m really into chekhov again, I recently saw an amazing Ivanov. other than that, I’m absolutely into Shakespeare, and I have a weakness for Schillers Die Räuber. Oh, and Andorra by Max Frisch.4. favorite character in your favorite play?

Viola from Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night maybe?? I love her.

5. what’s your dream role?

macbeth. andri in Andorra. Robert in Company. Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet. Antigone.

6. what’s a role you’d like to play that you’d never be able to?

I’m probably never able to play any of the roles I just mentioned, so…

7. do you prefer being behind the scenes or in the spotlight?

i mean going into dramaturgy, I will have to be happy with staying behind the scenes, but my heart will always bleed because I’m not on stage

8. do you like hamilton?

IT’S MY JAM I LOVE IT SO MUCH I CRY

9. have you seen hamilton?

AND I CRY SOME MOREmaybe one day, now that it’s coming to London

10. how do you feel about hyped up shows like hamilton, les mis, and rent?

Honestly, I couldn’t care less about how hyped they are. I love all my faves equally, doesn’t matter if it’s Wicked or some obsure 40’s book musical no one has played for decades. the good thing about hyped shows is: better cast recordings, better bootlegs, movie versions, all that nice stuff.

11. did you like this year’s tony awards?

didn’t watch the last tonys tbh. i don’t even know why, there wasn’t any particular reason

12. what award should there be that isn’t?

huh, don’t know, maybe one that specifically honours female writers and composers?

13. what shows have you been in/helped with?

mostly plays: my first one was Andorra, then a Shakespeare mashup thingie, then an original play about a teen with Aids, then an awesome one that was called The Trojan War Will Not Take Place, then Pension Schöller, then I was singing Carmina Burana, then Andorra again, and then a revue kinda thingie where we did various songs from musicals, operetta, opera, some choreographies, some other stuff… I probably forgot a few things, but oh well.

14. have you ever been paid to act onstage or on camera?

haha nope

15. do you prefer broadway or west end shows?

well I’ve never been to broadway. I’ve seen a couple of shows on west end tho. but one day I will go to Broadway and watch all the shows. have to get awfully rich first though

16. favorite stage actress?

Pia Douwes was one of my first stage crushes. of the german speaking ones, I also really love Sabrina Weckerlin, Annemieke van Dam, Lucy Scherer, Isabel Dörfler and Kerstin Ibald. Internationally, i have a huge crush on Kelli O'Hara, Phillipa Soo, and Alexia Khadime.

17. favorite stage actor?

Carl van Wegberg was my first crush, 12 years ago in Elisabeth. Rasmus Borkowski tho. And Oliver Arno and Serkan Kaya and Ben Platt and Nic Rouleau and tbh I have a bit of a thing for Aaron Tveit. Neil Patrick Harris, I know, I know, but DAMN i’m still not over his “Being Alive” and never will be.

18. favorite show currently or recently running?

Might be Dear Evan Hansen. I don’t know it well enough yet to say for certain, but damn, I love it!!!!

19. what’s your dream #ham4ham (even if you don’t like hamilton)?

my favorite one? obviously the schuyler georges. and the one where they got various people to do guns and ships. or is the question, who would I want to be at a ham4ham? Then my answer is Dame Julie Andrews of course. damn, forgot to mention her at my fave actresses.

20. who should host the tony’s next year?

LMM? With Dwayne The Rock Johnson as a co-host.

21. do you watch broadwaycom backstage vlogs?

from time to time. though it’s been ages since i last did that.

22. what’s your opinion on movies turned into musicals?

well, everything is turned into musicals these days. I don’t care so much what the source material is, as long as the music is good and the characters are great and it works with the plot. i mean, generalizing doesn’t really work, because you got stuff like Heathers, and then something like the Spiderman musical, so…

23. do you prefer musical movies or live musicals?

i love both, for very different reasons. i mean live theatre though. i have yet to find anything in this world that compares to it.

24. do you have an opinion on american psycho?

haven’t seen it. don’t care about it.

25. what movie would you want to be turned into a musical?

hmm. something gay. Imagine Me And You maybe? Or, wait, hold on, holy shit. PRIDE THE MUSICAL.

26. what role would you like to see your favorite actor play?

umm…. Ben Platt should go places, and get the parts he wants to have, and get to create new parts, because he’s amazing and he deserves it and I would probably watch him play a banana peel for two hours straight because he’d be amazing at that as well.

27. do you prefer musicals, plays, or operas?

I LOVE ALL OF IT???? DON’T MAKE ME CHOOSE THAT’S SO RUDE

28. dramatic plays or comedies?

again, cannot choose. both is good.

29. andrew lloyd webber or stephen sondheim?

Sondheim, always. I love JCS and I will fight anyone for the trash show that is Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat, but that’s about it with Webber. Sondheim hasn’t done anything wrong in his life, ever, and I know this, and I love him.

30. neil patrick harris or james corden?

i mean, I love James Corden, but I mentioned it before, NPH in Company. BRUH.

31. did james corden do a good job hosting the tony’s (in your opinion)?

don’t know, didn’t see it

32. create a show mash-up and explain the plot (ex: legally todd = sweeney todd + legally blonde)

umm???? okay I’m tired and not very clever anymore, so the only thing I can come up with is

hamilrent - a couple of angry twenty- and thirtysomethings trying to make a change in american politics while being broke af

33. what song always makes you cry?

“Being Alive”. Isn’t it boring that I keep on bringing this up over and over again? I know. I still cry. Also “Children Will Listen” from Into The Woods. And “Wo ist der Sommer” from 3 Musketiers. And so far, “You Will Be Found” from Dear Evan Hansen.

34. how do you feel about musicals using other artists’ music?

like in jukebox musicals? I’m mostly trash for it tbh. We Will Rock You is such a trash fest but I love it, and I will always fight anyone on Mamma Mia.

35. what celebrity would you like to see on broadway next?

idk amandla stenberg?

36. favorite show you’ve been in?

we did a huge medley of “Im Weißen Rössl” once and tbh i love this operetta. it’s cheesy af but who cares.

37. would you like to act professionally?

i would. i gave that up a while ago though, when I realized I was too disabled to be accepted into acting schools.

38. television or stage acting?

i would personally always choose the stage over television acting, but I don’t necessarily think one is better than the other

39. what disney movie should be a musical that isn’t?

not sure if moana could work on stage but damn i love that music

40. if you could see one show on broadway or west end, what would it be?

i really miss book of mormon and I want to see it again, but hamilton or dear evan hansen would be first i guess. or fun home.

41. what musical should be revived next?

i’m so glad miss saigon is coming back, i love it. how about we bring back Into The Woods?

42. are musical sequels okay?

i personally don’t care much for them, but i don’t condemn them. like, i dislike theatre that’s made solely for the purpose of making money, which is something sequels are usually about. but that doesn’t mean that sequels are always and will always be a bad thing.

43. what musical sequel would you like there to be that isn’t?

umm???? well it would make sense for there to be a wicked sequel, since the book has a sequel as well? or, maybe not exactly a sequel, but more history musicals in the style of hamilton? that’d be rad.

44. have you ever had a crush on a character from a show?

umm. … no? *sweats nervously* why would you ask that…….? … never

45. how do you feel about musicals being done live on tv now?

i think it’s a cool idea in general, making musicals more accessible to a wider audience, in a way that’s closer to live theatre. i just think the format is still too new and it needs a lot more practice until it’s going to work.

46. did you like grease live?

haven’t seen it

47. are you excited for hairspray live?

i was really excited beforehand, and then i was absolutely disappointed because it was more racist, more sexist, more ableist, and generally worse than the movie version, and while the cast was good, it wasn’t good enough to save bad directing.

48. what show do you desperately want your school/community to do?

well, I want RENT to be back in Germany, and not in the horrible German translation please. Maybe my current employer could get on that? they’re known for excellent stagings of musicals, and they also did Anything Goes in the english original.

49. are you a stronger singer or dancer?

i’m not great at either but I love doing both. since my body is a bit shit though, I suppose i have a slight advantage for my singing.

50. would you rather design the set, direct the show, or help with effects?

i already helped with video and audio effects once, that was fun. i’m no good at set design, and directing doesn’t sound too bad, but I’m not into the creative pressure that comes along with directing. i think I’ll just stick to my dramaturgy. :P

thanks love, for all the questions!