#also HI ROW I'm so glad I got a mutual for this one

[bluewxrld07]

Hurt My Feelings (Ethan Edwards)

Warning(s): mutual pining, angst, cheating, making out, groping/touching

Ethan Edwards x femalebff!reader (there's also a little bit of Luke Hughes x reader oops ;) )

Summary: Based off of Tate McRae's song Hurt My Feelings :)

She wears your number, but I've got what you like

She's got you right now, but I'm still on your mind

The rink was cold. It always was. No matter how many times she's sat in one, whether it was for a tournament or for just one game, she still was cold no matter what.

She was wearing her UMich gear; supporting a hockey sweatshirt in the the familiar navy blue with yellow lettering underneath her jacket, a pair of grey jogger sweats with their team logo, a UMich hat, and a pair of UMich mittens made by the famous Edwards mother herself. A gift from her two birthdays ago after learning y/n would be attending the same college with Ethan.

Y/n found her seat in the third row opposite from the benches, wrapping her blanket around her legs as she sat. Once she was situated, she looked around the arena, watching as people piled into their seats. Some making their way down to the glass to watch the boys warmups up close.

That's when her eyes stopped and did a double take, following back to the familiar head of platinum blonde hair standing right behind the glass, standing directly across the rink from where y/n was sitting. She wore the oh so familiar home jersey with the number 73 on her back, with leather skinny jeans.

Her makeup looking a tad too overdone, a large sign sitting front of her and her friends with a thirst quote written out on it in big letters. The chomping of the girl's gum also being very noticeable. Y/n fought the urge to roll her eyes as she watched Ethan's girlfriend rave with her friends, probably bragging and talking about the boy himself.

Ethan was not someone who enjoyed signs with messages such as the one written on his girlfriend's board. Course the signs were fine when it was younger kids coming to watch, but he always said it looked desperate.

When y/n and him would lay outside talking about life, he always stated that he would want his future girlfriend to be the one sitting in the stands with his family. Not the one behind the glass with a cliche sign. Sure he didn't mind it when it came to fans, but when it was his girlfriend, it was a different story.

He wanted to be able to come out for warmups, search for her and smile when he did. Be able to look up at her every so often in between drills, waving, making gestures, mouthing something out to her, anything like that.

Y/n was lost in her thoughts when Ethan's mom's voice rung out happily. "Ugh I'm so glad you made it before me! I thought I was gonna be too late and we wouldn't get our usual spots." she jokes, a large smile on her face as she sat next to the college girl pulling her in for a bear hug.

She supported a homemade sweatshirt customized with her son's number and name on the sides of the sleeves, mittens with 73 on both of them as well as a UMich tie blanket.

"You know me, I like to be early thanks to always having parents fashionably late to everything," y/n chuckles as they pulled away from one another.

Ethan's mom gave her a look, knowing exactly what she meant. "Oh sweetheart trust me I know. Why do you think I always tell your parents an earlier time nowadays? So then they're actually on time to things."

"Yeah no kidding. I'm always the one stressing."

As the pair talked, the seats and the edges around the glass began to fill with students and fans. Before they knew it the music started to blare out, cheers increasing as the teams came out for warmups.

Y/n clapped alongside the elder woman, the pair still conversing as they watched the boys skate around the ice.

Y/n's eyes fell to the familiar head of brown hair poking out of the helmet he wore, watching as he shot into the net a few times. Not6 long after did her eyes find his girlfriend once again, seeing the girl bouncing up and down like a toddler and banging on the glass eyeing Ethan as he skated around.

She watched as her and her friends banged on the glass and shook the sign made, trying to get him to notice it.

"She's absolutely embarrassing." y/n hears next to her, looking over to Ethan's mom, whom has a disgusted look on her face while staring at the platinum head of hair across the rink.

"Not a fan of her?" she asks, watching the woman shake her head immediately.

"I tried giving her a chance. I truly did. But she is just not anywhere near his type. Or even respectful for that matter," she admits while shaking her head, finding her song back on the ice. "She got drunk at dinner with us the first time we met her. The second time we met her she got into an argument with my husband." Shay says.

Y/n stays silent and just chuckles lightly, focusing back to the boys on the ice.

Ethan peers up at the stands, scanning them before his eyes find her own. He smiles largely with a goofy smile and nods his head up as if saying 'what up'. Y/n feels her face heat up, butterflies in her stomach.

She nods back at him with a humored smile playing on her lips. His gaze falling to his mom next to her blowing her a kiss. She smiles warmly at her son and sends a million kisses back and cheers for him, watching his focus go back to drills.

Y/n wanted to take that and rub it in his girlfriends face, whom was still desperately trying to get his attention. Yet she was better than that, so she just stayed content in her seat as she watched the boys.

After a while, it was nearing the end of their warmups as her and the older woman had small talk about how school has been. They kept their eyes on the team in front of them, soon seeing Ethan skate up towards the glass on their side of the rink, eyeing y/n whom looked at him with a questioning expression.

He points towards the tunnel where they came from as if saying to meet him over there, her nodding immediately as she unwrapped herself from her cocoon.

She tells the woman next to her she will be right back, the woman shooing her off with a knowing smile.

Y/n makes her way down the steps towards the tunnel, feeling a certain blonde's eyes on her, making her try to hide a humored grin on her face. Ethan skates over slowly and greets some of the younger kids waiting by the entrance for the players.

She leans over the railing with a small smile on her face, watching as he makes his way towards her removing his helmet to look at her clearly.

He reaches his hand up as she re moves her mitten and reaches her own hand down, doing their little handshake together.

"You cold over there Rudolph?" he jokes, earning and eyeball from her.

"Yeah yeah, haven't heard that one before." she scoffs and he laughs at her expression.

"You want to meet the guys and I for dinner afterwards? We might hit up Bell's Diner," he says, and she immediately feels her insides warm.

He's asking her to join him. Not the blonde who was insanely upset on the other side of the rink. Her.

"Yeah I might be up for it." she shrugs, earning a smack to her hand that still hung with his.

I should've known better, you should've known better than me

"Ow, okay, ow, Ethan! Stop that hurts!" Y/n cries out with a laugh, the boy now sitting on her as she was laying on the couch, video game controller in his hands.

"No you stay here." he laughs.

She squeaks out and tries poking at his sides to get him off of her, watching as he twitches from her hands. "Ethan I have class in like fifteen minutes! I swear if you don't get off of me, I'm-"

"What? You're in no place to call the shots, you can't move," he jokes out looking down at her in amusement. Her arms fall other sides, looking up at him with a scowl, then crosses her arms over he chest.

Ethan laughs down at her before unpausing his game, y/n's mouth dropping offendedly. She begins to huff and puff dramatically, her head turning away from him as her sighs get louder each time her ignores her.

Once she sees that her dramatic sighs are not doing the trick, she conjures up a devilish grin.

It's a few moments of silence, but then before Ethan knows it, the girl underneath him begins screaming. He immediately jumps up in surprise from the loud yell she conjures up, the girl now scrambling off the couch and up the stairs to get her bag for class.

She hears his footsteps coming up the staircase as well as the calls of her name with some empty joking threats such as ones like 'I'm gonna throw you into the pool' or her favorite, 'I will force you to play in my spot the next home game'.

She's zipping up her jacket and throwing her backpack over her shoulder by the time her reaches her, an amused smile on both their lips.

"Ethan, no." she giggles, watching him stalk closer to her. She puts her arms out to keep him away. Her breathing getting heavy in between laughs as he gets closer.

She finds herself backing into a wall, completely screwed now as he now stands directly in front of her. His hands find her waist while his eyes are piercing down into her own, a devilish smile on his lips.

The closeness between them made her insides churn with excitement and nervousness, unsure of what was next to come.

"I wanted to spend time with you," he drags out, she rolls her eyes. "I don't see you much anymore."

"I was here yesterday."

"Okay but still, You get so busy with classes this time of year, and I have Hockey. So I don't see you a ton." he says, leaning his forehead on her own, giving her waist a squeeze.

She swallows lightly, her breathing becoming heavy as her heart. pounds in her chest. "I miss you." he mutters, his eyes finding hers.

Her eyes look into his, their faces so close now. Her heart was yelling at her to close the distance, but her mind kept screaming back and chanting girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend.

She watched him close his eyes, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

Y/n closed her eyes tight, taking a deep breath before place a hand on his chest and lightly pushing him back. "I've gotta go Eddy." she sighs, and walks away from him.

Ethan stayed in his spot, her scent still there, captivating as ever. Once he hears the front door close, his head drops back as he lets out a groan and rubs his hand on his face.

"Fuck"

I'm tryna tell myself I'm gonna stay away from you

I should've known better, you've got a way that's gonna weigh-weigh on me

It was New Years Eve, and of course the Hockey team was throwing a big party. They threw one every year. Y/n always helped plan them, per Rutger and his girlfriends pleas.

This year made it harder for her to say yes. She's been avoiding Ethan as much as she can, ignoring his texts and calls. Trying to distance herself from the need she had for him inside. She thought she was doing what was best for the both of them. Their want and need for one another was climbing. So she put a stop to it. At least is trying to.

The Hockey house was definitely bumping, the time being eleven o'clock. So close to ball drop. Y/n accepted that she would either end up kissing some random guy at midnight, or better yet, nobody at all.

Each year, she wished for Ethan to be that one she kissed. To feel his lips on her own. Yet it always ended up being nobody.

Of course Ethan knew she never had a new years kiss, so he would place his lips on her cheek after midnight and claim that that could count as her new years kiss.

She doubted she would get that now. After she had been avoiding him like the plague, stating she was so busy with classes and homework. Or that she was too sick to answer the phone sometimes.

She knew Ethan would see right through her each time though. Even if he wouldn't admit it, he knew her well enough to know her tell when lying.

So now here she stood while So High by Doja Cat played, next to Rutger in a game of beer pong against a couple of the Football boys, in a dress that she felt was too short. But was complimenting her figure so good per Rutger's girlfriend.

She was tipsy, but not drunk. She really didn't feel like throwing up tonight, better yet not having to deal with being hungover the next morning. It was enough of a buzz that she was able to feel at ease, and let loose for the night.

Rutger pulled her in for a hug as they cheered, her sinking the Football guys' last cup watching as they chugged it down.

Y/n a sip of her own drink, Rutger saying he was going to take a break and dance with his girlfriend, Y/n nodding and shooing him away to go be with her.

The girl made her way through the crowd after she finished making another drink, the crowd dancing as if in slow motion with the colored lights flashing around.

As she took a sip of her drink, she stopped in her tracks seeing the familiar boy she had been avoiding.

He was dancing up against his girlfriend, the girl basically grinding all over him as he kissed her neck. One hand gripping the underside of her breast while the other stayed glued lowly on her hip.

Y/n rolled her eyes, feeling the bile in her throat as she looked around the room to find someone. She thought it would be better to try getting over Ethan, by getting under someone else.

The crowd cheered as Rude Boy by Rihanna began to blare through the speakers, her lips turning up into a smirk. Y/n downed the rest of her drink and set her cup down on a nearby table, her eyes finding a familiar pair of blonde, curly hair.

"Hughes," she calls over the music, his head snapping over and down to her with a smile. "What's goin on little y/n/n?" he says back.

He was leaning against a doorway while talking another buddy of his, she held her hands out for him. "Come dance with me Luke," she challenges, his eyes scanning her figure as he bit his lip. Luke hands his cup to his buddy, immediately sliding his hands into her own, watching her lips move and sing along to the lyrics of the song.

They found a spot in the crowd, her eyes still locked on his. Sure Luke was attractive, everything about him was. Which is why she didn't mind how it felt dancing up close with him.

His hands slid away from hers, the girl turning around so her back was up against his chest while his hands found home on her hips.

Her hands slid up over her stomach, to her waist, over her own breasts before finally reaching behind her and sliding them into Luke's hair. The pair swayed together to the music as she sang along to the lyrics, Luke's head falling to the crook between her neck and collarbone.

Luke was tall, only a had a couple inches on Ethan, but still pretty tall nonetheless. His head fell over her collarbone fully, his lips finding a spot right on the bone that made her sigh deeply and grip his hair tightly.

Her eyes began to search in the crowd for the familiar brunette, stopping when she found him with his girlfriend still in their same position.

His eyes, though, staring into her own. Y/n knew she had him in a trance now. Her lips still singing along to the lyrics.

But that's when something else snapped in her. Her eyes leaving Ethan's and looking back down to the boy who was breathing heavily into her neck.

"Lu," she breathes, the boy humming and squeezing her hips as an answer. "I need you to help me out." she admits and he nods, his eyes finding hers for a second. He watches her eye dart towards the brunette and his own girl, Luke's eyes slowly fading over to Ethan and the blonde.

Luke's chin sat softly on her shoulder as they still danced against one another. The boys stared back at one another, Ethan's eyes looking into his best friend's with warning, as if daring Luke to test him.

Luke was always one to help stir the pot if it needed to be. Especially when he knew how both y/n and Ethan felt about each other, but danced around it for many reasons.

So of course when Ethan gave him those eyes, Luke's mind was more than happy to push his best bud past his limits.

Y/n's stayed on Luke's side profile while he stared at Ethan with a smirk blooming onto his face. As they swayed, the bridge to the song came in and Luke's hands began to move. One hand slithered its way to y/n's throat and gripped lightly, causing her to sigh at his touch.

The other hand slithered up too, but stopping on her left breast, squeezing and toying with it over her dress. The feeling of Luke's hands in the right spots made y/n's head rolled back onto his shoulder as she let out a sigh mixed with a breathless moan.

She knew Luke was still staring back at Ethan, who still held eye contact with him as well, Ethan's nostrils flaring.

Luke's eyes broke their stare a moment later, finding home on the soft spot in the crook of her neck he found earlier. Ethan watched y/n's chest heaving up and down as his best friend touched her and kissed her like that.

"Shit, Lu," she sighs into Luke's ear. She could feel him poke her backside as they ground against one another. "Who knew you knew what you were doing." she chuckles breathlessly, earning a hum from the curly headed boy.

"Gotta do what I gotta do to pull his head out of his ass, huh?" he says back to her, his head lifting up to stare back at her.

His hand left her throat, and began to slide down her waist, her hips, to her thighs, his hand moving towards her inner thigh and sliding back up slowly.

Her breathing was starting to become messy as he got closer to where she was dying to be touched. Whether it was Luke or Ethan, in which she hoped Ethan would be the one to do it, but wasn't complaining when Luke knew how to push her own buttons.

Before Luke could finally reach where she desperately needed it, she was snagged from his arms and thrown over a shoulder.

She looked back up to see Luke standing there, tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he saluted to her. She smirked at him in amusement, knowing exactly whose shoulder she was over.

Y/n was taken up the staircase and into the familiar brunette's room, the door shutting and locking behind them.

Ethan set y/n down on her feet once they were in his room, the girl’s eyebrows scrunched up in a frown. That frown changed when she saw his facial expression. 

She couldn’t pinpoint all the emotions running through his mind, but the ones she could see were anger, sadness, annoyance. 

Lust. 

His anger was what she could see the most running through his eyes, arms crossed over his chest. “Did you need something?” She retorts, testing the waters that were already running high. Ethan scoffs down at her, his arms being thrown up in anger at her. “You’re fucking with me right?” He snaps, making her shake her head at his tone. 

“I’m not doing this,” she chuckles bitterly, trying to walk past him but he grabs her arm. “Of course you won’t. You haven’t wanted to in weeks! I don’t hear shit from you, and the next thing I know I'm watching both of my best friends all up on one another? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Y/n lets her tongue run over her teeth, not daring to make eye contact with him. She might’ve been buzzed, but she was not drunk. She was sober enough to be aware of her surroundings, but so aware of them that she was holding back her actions. Because liquid courage was surely a thing right now, and she could not hold back much longer. 

“Hello? You gonna answer me y/n/n?” He says in a short tone, making her snap out of her trance. 

She could hear Rutger’s voice downstairs saying fifteen seconds till midnight, y/n really wanting to get out of there before she couldn’t control herself anymore. 

All these feelings have been building up, her avoiding him not helping her case. Actually made it worse, because of the way her body and mind craved his presence and touch. 

“I can’t right now, Ethan.” She musters out, not making eye contact as she says it. Ethan frowns at her, confusion setting in. “Do what?” He asks. She shakes her head at him, the boy watching as she swallows hard, her chest heaving. 

“Ethan,” she says, her tone was one he had only a few times. It was a warning tone. She still wasn’t looking at him in the eyes. The sound of everyone downstairs counting down till midnight and the music blaring being heard. “You should really get down there,” she says and motions to the door. “Your girl will be wondering where you are at midnight.”  

Ethan storms up to her, annoyed that she won’t even acknowledge him or look at him. 

“Look at me,” he says, his tone stern as he grabs her jaw softly but enough to force her to look at him. Her eyes catch his, he sees that she’s got a certain emotion running through them. 

“What’s going on, y/n?” He mutters to her softly this time. "Why won't you talk to me? What did I do?" he pushes, watching as the gears turn in her mind.

He watches her lip quiver, soon biting it to hide the way it shook. It shouldn't have made him feel a way, but it did. He wanted to be the one biting that lip. Let alone taking away the pain he could see in her eyes.

Y/n rolls her eyes as the crowd yells out ‘one’ followed by a ‘happy new year’. She looks back at him, still staying silent. He says her name one last time sternly. 

“Y/n.” 

“Goddammit Eddy.” she snaps before her hand wraps around his neck, pulling him in for his lips to finally slam onto her own. 

He didn’t take any time to process what was going on, just instantly kissing her back with just as much passion as she did. His hand going to both sides of her head, their lips moving in sync. 

The way his lips felt on hers was nothing like she's ever imagined. They felt like they belonged on her own. What caught her off guard the most, was the fact that he didn't even hesitate to kiss her back.

That's when she realized he felt the same way she did. The attraction was there.

His tongue grazed hers, making his hand slide down and grip her backside. When her mouth opened in a gasp, he slid his tongue inside to let it massage hers.

Her soft moans were like music to his ears, his hands roaming anywhere and everywhere. He wanted to hear them over and over again. It was him making her make those noises. Not Luke. His lips left her own and trailed down her neck, stopping on the same spot that Luke's had once been on. Y/n didn't think it could feel any better, but Ethan made it feel insatiable.

Her hands ran through his hair as his hands roamed wherever they could reach, her gasps and breathless moans going into his broad shoulder. But as he kissed along her entire chest, her conscience came creeping in.

"Ethan," she sighs, the boy's hands raising the hem of her dress slightly, gripping her thighs trying to get her as close as he could in that moment. All that was on his mind was her. She tried his name once again, the brunette still not answering her as he searched for her lips to shush her.

"Ethan hold on," she says in between their kisses. He whimpers in her mouth, making her feel so incredibly weak. She wanted to cave so bad. Wanted to give him all of her. Let him have his way with her, and her with him.

But she couldn't. She couldn't do that.

"Your girlfriend, Eddy." she mutters as she pulls away, putting her hand on his chest. They're both breathless, Ethan going in one last time, teeth going down to drag out her bottom lip which earned a moan from her mouth.

He takes a moment with her, chests heaving against one another.

"You stay here," he whispers, his hands coming up to squeeze her waist.

She just hums with a slight nod. "I'll be back." he says, placing one last kiss on her lips, leaving her in the middle of his room in a disheveled state.

He didn't return that night.

She's where you're waking up, she's got you making up such pretty boy excuses

Oh but I know one thing, she can't stop it happening in my mind

It had been two weeks since the New Years incident. Two weeks since y/n and Ethan had shared that moment in his room. Two weeks since he left you there, only to not return.

He had been the one avoiding her now. But in this case, not under his own choices.

Every time y/n showed up to the Hockey house, she was there. Every time y/n went to a home game, she was sitting in your spot, going to see him at the tunnel instead of y/n.

When she'd text him to meet, he'd say the same things.

E :)

I can't today, I'm trying to focus. I've got a lot going on rn.

E :)

I wish I could, but I've got some stuff going on with the boys.

E :)

I would say yes, but the gf and I have plans tonight!

She knew it wasn't him making the choices, or sending those texts. He always dropped whatever he was doing to see y/n, to be with her.

The boys would've invited her to come with for one, and for two she had planned on seeing some of the guys that night. So y/n knew it was a lie from him.

The classes y/n had with Ethan and the boys was what made it more obvious. He always made up an excuse as to why his girlfriend needed him to sit with her. Or she would already be sitting in y/n's spot, so she'd find somewhere in the back to sit.

Y/n's heart began to ache. She knew deep down that it wouldn't have just happened so easily between them two, and that she couldn't stop him from making that choice. It just hurt because she should've composed herself better that night, then maybe they would've turned out being back to normal at this point.

Y/n sat in the library with Rutger's girlfriend, the pair doing homework in one of the study hall rooms. Y/n had been zoned out, her eyes locked on Ethan and his girlfriend, whom sat outside in the main study hall area talking all happily with one another.

It should be her he is sat with. Them two laughing at some stupid joke Ethan tried making about classes or the assignment at hand. It should've been her getting the quick kisses stolen in between work.

"You really need to get better at hiding your emotions, y/n/n," Rutger's girlfriend says.

Y/n snapping out of her trance and looking up at the girl whom had the whiteboard marker in one hand, the other on her hip with an unfazed look on her face.

"What emotion? I'm fine." Y/n says, her tone squeaky and uneven.

"Yeah and I'm a hockey wag," the blonde girl jokes, making y/n shrug.

"Technically speaking, you are. Unofficially," she pushes, nearly dodging the marker thrown her way.

"Not the point!" the girl laughs, y/n smiling at her comment.

She comes and sits next to y/n, sighing as she sees what her friend was witnessing. Then turns back to look at her a few moments later.

"What happened on New Years?" she asked, watching her friend pale and look at her lap.

"You cannot say a word," y/n says. "I won't-"

"Not even to Rutger."

"Damn that bad huh?"

Y/n nods. "We kind of sort of," she trails off. "madeoutinhisroomandIhadtobetheonetostopitfromgoingfurther"

The blonde looked at her like she had two heads. "I cannot decipher your fast speaking tone, so slow it down for me thank you."

Y/n sighs. "We made out in his room, and I was the one who had to try and stop it. Because if I didn't, we would've kept going." she admits, watching her friends eyes light up.

"I was wondering why he looked so dazed and why his lips were swollen when he came back." she says in a knowing manner.

"Seriously, you cannot say a word! He didn't even come back to me that night, so it means nothing." y/n says as she closes her books, packing up her stuff.

"Girl, he didn't come back because his girlfriend knew something was up."

"I kind of figured with how she's been about me lately."

"Yeah trust me, everyone has noticed." y/n threw the whiteboard marker back at her friend who laughed.

"Don't stress about it seriously. She is just jealous of what you guys have," she explains as they begin to leave the room. "I'm not one to be for cheating, trust me. But with how she treats all of us behind the scenes, I'd say your secret would be safe with me."

Y/n shook her head, her eyes finding Ethan once again. "Yeah well," He must've felt someone staring because his eyes look up from the platinum blonde girl next to him, smile dropping when he finds the familiar girl's stare.

"He can count his day because he's breaking my heart doing it." The two girls then walk away, Y/n's eyes leaving Ethan's.

His eyes following her still as she left the hall.

She's got you right now, but I'm still on your mind

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Lovers & Friends (18+ Fic)

Pairing: Keigo Takami x Black!Fem!Reader (Friends to Lovers)

Synopsis: In which you and Keigo have begun to realize the strange new feelings you both have for each other after one drunken night at a close friend’s wedding that ends with you in his bed, but because of your longtime friendship and committed relationships with other people, you’re more than happy to forget that night even happened and keep your mutual feelings in the dark…for now, at least. 

Story Warnings: Smutty smut; 18+ (MINORS GET AWAY); Cheating/Infidelity; Mating; Light Degradation; Spanking; Exhibitionism; Multiple Positions; Creampie; Unprotected PIV Sex; Facial; Scent Play; Marking; Spitting; Deepthroating; Cunnilingus; Begging; Edgeplay; Power Play; Wing-Stroking; Daddy Kink; Some Angst; Hurt/Comfort; Mild Violence

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer's Note: Got 2 new chapters for y'all!! Yes, my baby daddy Dabi makes an appearance. And I'm planning on writing some spooky shit for Halloween soon so stay tuned. I fucking THRIVE in the fall. And has anyone been watching the new live-action One Piece?? That shit is GOOD. I can't wait till I get to see my baby Chopper, Robin & ACE. When we get Law, I apologize for the horiness. -Jazz

Chapters: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Bonus Chapter.

Read on AO3 here!

***********

Chapter Nine: Caught Up.

Keigo closes his laptop and leans back into the chair behind his desk, feet up and wishing for this day to be over already. 

“Thank God,” he sighs to the ceiling, glad to finally be out of that meeting he swore was longer than an hour.

He had met with the Musutafu police department chief, the city commission, and the Hero’s Public Safety Commission aka the HPSC aka a pain in his ass regarding putting more of Hawks’ agency heroes out on patrols during the day.

While Keigo knew the meeting was important, he was fading in and out of sleep during the entire thing. Which led to his third iced coffee of the day. He knows his stomach will hate him later, but it works to keep him awake for the next few hours until the day is through. 

After checking his watch and realizing lunch is in an hour, he gets up from his desk with his Starbucks cup full of iced coffee and walks over to his kitchenette settled in the corner.

He walks straight over to the Keurig coffee machine and takes a sugar packet from the silver holder next to the row of glass mugs, coffee pods, and a bowl of packaged snacks specifically set for him and any other guest he has in his office. 

Though he doesn’t seem like it, Keigo is very selfish when it comes to his office and who he lets in it. Like his penthouse, he considers his office to be another sanctuary for him when he isn’t doing hero work or any work that comes with being the CEO of his own agency.

He’s had this agency since he was eighteen, so it has changed in many ways–from the inclusion of different heroes, regardless of size, gender, or quirk, to the interior design of his office. 

Keigo’s high-rise office used to be a bit smaller than it is now, but after racking in more money with his agency and brand deals, it has grown in size. It can now house about fifteen people instead of one, coming with a kitchenette with stainless steel appliances, his own private bathroom and shower, furniture for nap time, and a flat-screen and window overlooking the city behind his mahogany desk and walls of awards and framed photos of close friends. 

When he is here, he is at peace, finally able to be Keigo and not Hawks for once. Any guest he allows in here must also respect his space, which most of them do. You were one of them.

Though you work at the same agency as Rumi, you’d always come in here during your lunch breaks to eat up all his snacks and drink up the saki he kept in his fridge. Because he loved you, he’d always let you, and then you’d gossip about which pro is fucking which and watch movies until you fell asleep until it was time to go back to work. 

He always looked forward to those times…and now they’re over. Keigo lowers his coffee onto the marbled counter and leans against it, tilting his head up to the ceiling. He knows he’s being dramatic, but he may as well be right.

At this rate, you and he will never be the same again. 

It’s been two weeks since he made the biggest mistake of his entire life at that hotel. Since then, you and he haven’t spoken. And it’s fucking killing him!

He and you talk almost every single day, even if it’s about nothing at all, so to go two weeks without hearing your sweet voice is like two years. It takes everything in him to not shoot you a text or call you to say hi, knowing you don’t want to speak to him right now. 

And plus, he can’t be sure he’d even know what to say to you. He’s wracked his brain for days and for so many sleepless nights trying to figure out what to say when he finally sees you…if he finally sees you. He doesn’t even know if he could look you in your eyes after knowing what they look like when you cum…among other things. 

Images of you that he shouldn’t be conscious of swim in his head now. You and that night are on his mind, day in and day out. He daydreams of your body at every hour of the day–at work; in the car; while patrolling, cooking, or exercising at the gym.

All he sees is your soft naked skin and braids splayed out on the pillows, your legs thrown over his shoulders, and your sweet moans in his ear. 

It gets much worse at night. When he closes his eyes, he sees you above him, your gorgeous tits and dark nipples jiggling in his face as your perfect little pussy squeezes around his cock. He can almost smell your perfume in his sheets, feel the warmth of your body in his bed throughout the night.

You haunt him constantly, filling his mind with the sights of your soft lips wrapped around his hard dick and your beautiful thighs wrapped around his waist as he drills into you. 

It’s gotten so bad that he’s been avoiding sex with Sakura, making up stories that he’s been sick or working late hours at the office. He hates what he’s become and he hates that you’re the reason for it. 

And then there’s the nesting part. Keigo has tried in vain to block that part out of his memory, but the fact that his stupid hawk hybrid instincts see you as his mate still firmly stands. It’s even worse that hawks mate for life. This means that if you were to ever end up with him, Keigo is locking you the fuck down. You’d be his forever. 

The question he has though is how the hawk half of his brain came to this conclusion. Was it the sex? Was that night just validation of how he already felt about you? Has he always thought of you as his mate? His best friend?

“Fuck,” he growls lowly, running his hands through his blonde locks before dragging them down his face. How did this all manage to go so wrong? 

A sudden knock at his office door stops him from wallowing in his guilt for too long. “Mr. Hawks said he isn’t seeing anyone right now!” Tokoyami, one of Keigo’s summer interns from UA, protests from outside the door. “You need to come back later!” 

“Relax, Tokoyami!” Toyu, his assistant for the summer (also from UA), laughs. “I just need to drop these off.” Another knock comes and Keigo sighs. “Come in,” he calls, leaning against the counter. 

The door opens, revealing Toyu in her floating blazer and skirt, and a very nervous Tokoyami. “I-I tried to stop her, sir,” he stutters. 

Keigo waves him off, giving him a reassuring smile. “Sorry to bother you, Mr. Takami!” Toyu chirps as she floats (or walks?) into the room, a binder in her invisible hand.

Keigo sighs as he picks up his iced coffee and meets them across the room. “Hawks, Toyu,” he tiredly corrects her for the fifth time since she started at the agency in May. “Call me Hawks.” 

“Sorry, Mr. Hawks!” Toyu corrects herself, earning an eye roll from Keigo and a snicker from Dark Shadow. Tokyoyami shushes him. “But I have the rundown on everything for the next week if you wanna take a peek.”

Keigo looks at the color-coded binder, the urge to stomp his foot and throw a tantrum growing inside of him. ‘It’s always something.’

Can’t he have just one week without doing anything at all? “Oh, thanks,” he says, giving both of the UA students a grateful smile. “Go to lunch early today. Come back whenever you wish. If anyone gives you shit, tell ‘em to call me.” 

Toyu excitedly thanks him before shooing a wide-eyed Tokoyami out of the room. Now that he is alone again, Keigo slouches down into his wheeled chair behind his mahogany desk and flips through the binder to next week.

He sips his coffee, reading each event set for next week, Monday through Friday (minus the weekends but the weekends are rarely free for Keigo). Day patrol; lunch-in with All Might and his agency team; a visit to the Musutafu police department… 

“Shit, another meeting?” he quietly laments when he gets to next Wednesday. This time with Nike for a photoshoot. Then he has to meet with the HPSC next Friday to talk about taking precautions for new villains. Keigo tosses the binder onto his desk, huffing.

He knows he won’t be able to focus on any of this, his mind too hung up on you. “Fuck,” he exhaustively groans, leaning his head back against his chair. 

“Well, sounds like you’re havin’ fun this week,” a familiar, raspy voice sarcastically says from behind him. Keigo’s body tenses and his wings instantly go rigid, his feathers sharpening to points. Immediately, he stands from his chair and turns around to look for the threat. 

However, it isn’t a threat at all. As soon as Keigo finds those cool-blue eyes staring at him from the darkest corner of the room where the noon sun doesn’t touch, he knows exactly who is in his office. 

Keigo squints at him, instantly relaxing. “Da fuck?” he scoffs. “Dabi?” 

The man of the hour steps out from the shadows like he has rebranded himself as a villain. He could definitely pull it off since he still has the same burn scars and staples that stand out against his pale skin like tattoos and those cold eyes that could make even the most seasoned pro shiver in their boots.

The only two differences are the gray sweats that all Musutafu prisoners are allowed and the snow-white hair that he’s rocking in contrast to the stark, black locks he had while he was in LOV.

Dabi steps into the light, one hand shoved into his dangerously low sweats while the other is holding a plastic bag. “What’s poppin’, b?” he rasps, smirking at his longtime friend. 

Keigo gapes at him, overwhelmed with confusion and happiness to see him. “What the hell…how did you…how’d you get in here?” he stutters out.

Dabi waltzes over to the couch near the balcony, pretending like he was invited here. “Nice to see you too, friend,” he sarcastically replies. “You left your balcony door unlocked.” 

Keigo looks at the balcony doors and swears. He knew he forgot to do something after coming back from morning patrols. “How are you even here?” he demands, staring at Dabi like he’s some kind of supernatural being that just appeared in his office. “Aren’t you on lockdown ‘cause of that riot?” 

Dabi leans back against the couch, legs cocked open and arms slung over the back. “Relax, bird brain,” he chuckles. “The warden did some investigating and found out I had nothing to do with that riot, so I got my perks back: twenty-minute calls, one hour on the facility laptops every day if I choose, and one day of freedom every two weeks for my good behavior.” 

He kicks a foot up on the coffee table, careful to not ruin the glass surface with his sneaker. “And what better way to spend my free time than comin’ to the rescue for my very depressed and dejected friend according to Cotton Tail’s call?” 

He grins at Keigo and Keigo notices that this one reaches his eyes. It isn’t cold, crazy, or sadistic the way it used to be while he was in LOV–it’s a genuinely happy smile. He has no idea what they’re doing to Dabi in prison, but whatever it is, it’s working.

He’s so happy to see his friend after weeks of separation that he nearly misses his words. “Rumi called you here?” he asks, confused. “Why?” 

Dabi gives him a look as if it should be obvious. “You’re bein’ a bitch, Rumi says.” Keigo scowls at him, even more confused. “She called me last week and didn’t say much, but she says you’ve been actin’ way off lately and begged me to talk to you. I can see why.” Dabi eyes him up and down, sizing him up. 

Keigo flushes in his designer clothes and crosses his arms over his chest, trying to hide himself from his friend’s scrutinizing gaze. He thought that he was doing a good job pretending in front of people, but obviously, he’s been caught. He should’ve known Rumi would’ve seen right through his grumpiness and blowing off club hopping with her for the past two weeks. 

“You ain’t the only one,” Dabi continues. “Apparently, Y/N’s been actin’ up too and you guys aren’t talking. What, you guys fight or somethin’?” He gives Keigo a confused scowl, not liking the idea of his friends fighting.

Keigo knows he’s been caught. However, he is more alarmed at the fact that you’re not doing any better than him. Are you okay? Are you losing sleep and avoiding all human interaction like he is too? Are you just as frustrated over him as he is over you?

The urge to call or visit you rises, making him want to jet right out of this office and come to you. 

Dabi stares at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. Quickly, Keigo comes up with a lie. He already promised you he’d never tell anyone and the last thing he wants to do is break a promise he made to you, especially since the truth could destroy your entire friend group.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he sighs, sitting on the edge of his desk, “but I’m just frustrated with work right now and–” 

“Bullshit,” Dabi growls, his eyes sharp. “We’ve been friends since high school, Kei. You can’t fool me; now spill.” He suddenly reaches into the plastic bag he bought and retrieves a case of beer. “Look, I got beer,” he cheerfully states, a wide grin on his face. 

Keigo blinks at him as he puts the bottle cap to his mouth and chips it off the beer with his teeth like it’s no problem. “At one in the afternoon?” he snickers.

Dabi glares at him. “Hey, it’s five o’clock somewhere and I can’t get this shit in prison, so do you want one or not?” He holds a bottle out to Keigo, raising an eyebrow. 

Though Keigo knows he shouldn’t be drinking on the job, he takes one from Dabi’s anyway. A shiver runs through him as he wraps his hand around the ice-cold bottle. He quickly presses it against the edge of his desk and slams down onto the nozzle, causing the bottle cap to fly off.

As soon as he takes a sip of the beer, strong, refreshing, and chilled to the bone, he feels relaxed. Relaxed enough to tell Dabi the truth about his sins. 

“Okay, you can’t tell anyone about this, understand?” he sternly says. “Y/N will murder me.” Dabi draws an X over his chest, nodding.

Keigo takes a deep breath, his heart pounding and feathers frazzled with anxiety. He cannot believe he’s doing this. “After Fatgum’s wedding, Y/N was feeling low over breaking up with Tempo, so I decided to take her to a club. Things got chaotic, we had a couple of drinks and–” 

“You had sex?” Dabi finishes. Keigo harshly bites down on his bottom lip and nods, feeling like a firecracker about to explode.

Surprisingly, Dabi doesn’t look disgusted or even the least bit upset. If anything, he looks like he isn’t even shocked. “Jeez, Keigo, it took you this long?” he scoffs. “How long have you been wanting to get in this girl’s pants?” 

“That’s not the point, Dabi!” Keigo growls, wanting to chuck his beer at the ex-villain. “I just cheated on Sakura and possibly ruined my friendship with Y/N! And that ain’t even the worst part.”

He runs a hand through his locks, mentally preparing himself to confess the worst of that night: “I nested,” he quietly laments. 

A tense silence descends on them as Dabi blankly stares at him for a moment. “You mean, like…for a mate?” he carefully asks.

Keigo nods slowly, ashamed before he watches as Dabi spits out his beer, coughing with guffaws and a high-pitched laugh that doesn’t sound anything like his regular, deep, raspy voice. 

Keigo growls at him, irked. “It’s not funny!” he snaps. “Cut it out, you crispy bitch, before I toss your ass off my balcony!”

Dabi tosses his head back, hollering at the ceiling. “That’s the funniest shit I ever heard!” he says through his hysterical laughter. Keigo flushes bright red with humiliation, just as red as his wings. “Wait, so, Y/N is your mate?” Dabi finally asks as he wipes away tears. 

Keigo flinches slightly at that term coming from someone else’s lips: mate. The idea of you–his best friend, his partner in crime–being his mate is something he just can’t believe. “Not officially, but obviously, my body and stupid animal instincts think so. And no, I’ve never done nested for Sakura or any other person I’ve dated. Y/N is the only one.” 

He sighs, lowering his beer down onto his desk. “I guess sleeping with her that night was what my body needed to validate that,” he admits. Dabi hums in agreement, kicking another foot up onto the coffee table. “Guess it was that good,” he mutters. 

“It was that good,” Keigo confesses in anguish. “That’s the problem. I can’t even look at her the same way.”

He covers his face in shame, but all he sees behind them is you and your gorgeous, naked body. “Jesus, Dabs, what the fuck am I gonna do?” he sobs.

Dabi chugs down his beer, barely even looking concerned despite his two friends having sex. “Well,” he starts, “and this just came to me…you could always talk to the girl instead of actin’ like none of this happened and you don’t want to break her back again.” 

Keigo stares at him, dumbfounded. Does he understand the dilemma here? “I can’t!” he protests. “If I do, she’ll never look at me the same way again. It’ll ruin our friendship even more.” He feels a pang of something in his chest at the idea of never seeing you again. Despite his love for you, he could never toss away your friendship. You mean too much to him. 

Dabi quietly belches and tosses his beer can perfectly in the trash can behind Keigo’s couch. He then stretches his muscled arms high over his head, grunting as he does so like he doesn’t have a single care in the world.

“Well, you do what you want,” he sighs, "but just know this will fuck up the crew’s dynamic anyway now that we all know you slung a dick in our mutual friend.” He smirks at a bristling Keigo as leans back into the couch. 

“This was not the advice I wanted, dickhead,” Keigo deadpans. Dabi cocks his head at him, raising a brow. “Fuck I look like?” he asks, deadass. “A psychiatrist?”

Keigo considers kicking his ass out before something begins to methodically beep from somewhere on Dabi. The white-haired man looks down at his ankle and pulls up his pants leg to reveal the red light flashing on it. 

Dabi tsks, looking irked at his ankle monitor. “Gotta go,” he sighs, rising from his seat. “My appointment is about to start before I have to head back to the facility.” He heads over to Keigo and claps him on the shoulder before walking over to the open balcony door. 

“Appointment?” Keigo repeats, confused. “For what?”

Dabi stands in the sunlight, his hair illuminated by the sun’s rays, making him look almost ethereal. “Sex therapy,” he replies. “Says it does wonders for stress. You should try it.”

Before Keigo can reply, his friend is jumping over the balcony and climbing down the building from there like a madman. 

Keigo rushes over to the balcony and watches as his friend finishes climbing down the rest of the building before getting into the backseat of a slick, black car that can only be paid for by the Musutafu prison.

Before the car takes off, Dabi rolls down the window and gives Keigo the finger, the sound of his laughter intertwined with the summer wind as the car pulls away from the agency. 

Keigo shakes his head at him. While Dabi was never good with advice, he definitely knows how to make you forget about your problems for once with some laughter.

“Prick,” he chuckles and shuts the balcony doors before getting back to reality. 

[izzy-b-hands]

34 & 44!

Connie!!! Thank you!! 💖💖💖💛💛!

34. is there a song you know every word to by heart?

This is where the Autism kicks in akdnfkgng, even if I dislike a song (like actively hate lmaooo) if I hear it enough it will be stuck in there, fully remembered, forever. I can't remember my cousin's bdays without it being marked already on a calendar, but if someone asked me to sing any song I hate for karaoke? (Let's go with Blurred Lines because I watch an old Big Fat Quiz ep and guess what they played more than once 🙃): I could do it. It might not sound good, but by god every word would be there.

On the plus side, songs I love also stick in there easily, which means there's also a selection of MCR, anything that's ever been on a Saints Row soundtrack, the entire OFMD soundtrack (literally have not relistened to The Chain because it's been in my head on repeat since I watched it 😂)

Fuck the Autism also kicked in on this answer (and the next im so sorry ilu) what a book, forgive me for these lmaooo

44. you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

Okay so I'm v stoned and got waaay too deep into this question ngl like. considering who and the concept of revenge and vigilante justice and would seeking the other person's death really create an overwhelming sense of fulfillment and peace, or simply mutate the current grief into something twisted and painful that haunts one until their death? Then thinking if I undertook manipulation to ensure the death of someone else but had to spend time in their company as a result am I then no better than them for having taken their hospitality which comes from their horrific actions?

Then I realized the best answer is probably Thomas Hardy or (and hoo boy am I a little scared to note this one hence writing it to evade tags) J./K./R./

The first because I hate having to read his sad sack books and like. I think it would be a mercy to kill him and put him out of his fucking misery. "Because we are to meny" fuck u Tommy Boy that shit destroyed me

And the second because her work was a huge part of my childhood. I loved that shit; I still have merch from my middle school days even that is in storage to be burned later. At one point I had planned a tattoo of a fave line even (I'm glad I waited, but had I gotten it I think now I would just be figuring out a good cover up design. That's just me personally tho cuz like. who tf gets a fun fandom tattoo and then expects This Shit from the author, ya know? I didn't as a kid, planning for that tattoo while I reread the books.)

As a result of who she's revealed herself to be and what she believes, I've cut that part of myself out like a cancer (tearing up the old books and using them for art projects, the merch burning is probably going to be done this or next summer or whenever we aren't in a damn drought with bonfire bans) but bits of it linger, ya know? Like I'll think of a song from middle school and then be blasted with the memory of how I played it on repeat while reading the latest in the series, and then remember Why i haven't been able to listen to the song in years

I wish i could literally erase all of it from my memory, never see the books or merch or the movies (on streaming sites too) ever again. But since I can't, though I keep on trying, I would settle for doing to her what she thinks should happen to people like me

However she also seems like a scrapper and she's taller than me so tbh I dunno if I would be successful or if it would be a mutual fight to the death, but I would be fine with that too. Not a win-win, but not every situation is in life lol

[nottsangel]

i missed you too, dear! haven't been messaging you here as much as there's nothing interesting going on with my life. i'm going to uni, and good news: i am liking this master's program so far! i have been going out more often, trying new coffee shops with my girl bff and stuff. i have also slowly been searching for a job; there's this potential post available at an american company that i might get... we will see how that goes tho, there's nothing certain right now. but they were interested in my bland af cv, sooo....

as for THAT guy... he is in two of my classes (classes which take place only on saturdays, from 8 am; i swear i am only attending for him)! he is older than me (not a dilf tho), he already has his master's degree! and idk, it's strange... we haven't spoken to one another, but he keeps looking at me during class. i am somehow always seated one row behind him, to his left, so he has to turn his head to see me and i bdksnkdbs every time he does. he is my type, visually speaking, he is a beautiful man. but i don't know how i feel and if he really likes me. :(

there is only one more guy that did exactly the same thing - eyecontactship (last year actually, a looooong story); with this guy, i have even heard his friend group tease him for having a crush on me!!! but it turned out he had (and still has) a gf! i am not sure what's going on with them, but i know he still likes me as his gf is monitoring his online activity when it comes to me and my posts (ALTHOUGH I HAVE NEVER INITIATED ANYTHING WITH HIM! WE BARELY SPOKE, AND ONLY 'CAUSE WE WERE COLLEAGUES 😔)

so i no longer get my hopes up for guys that constantly stare at you during class, with the loveliest puppy eyes, only to be in a relationship/not actually like you. as someone who never got male attention in her 22 years of life, it was nice to be finally seen for once - like OMG! I AM NOT UGLY???? SOME GUYS MIGHT LIKE ME???

apparently not? idk i am sad and confused - 🍯 anon

aw i’m glad you’re liking it so far babes!!!!! and OHHH GIRL look at you getting all these guys to fall in love w you 👀 and ugh i know it’s so difficult when you don’t know the other person at all ! do you have any mutual friends? or have you found his social media already? maybe just try to flirt a bit non-verbally (smiling, eye contact, sitting closer to him etc) and see where that goes…

[cherubim-of-vvkastel]

💭 + well since you so politely asked me about Eret, I'll return the favor and ask about Foolish. What was he like before coming to the DSMP? How much does he remember? Does he regret what he's done? What was he like before he meet Eret? Before the Wither Cult? (also hello i'm quietly sneaking into your box :>)

// Oml you've been so friendly since the day I first posted. I'm gonna cry - literally, the main reason I'm shaking off my newbie jitters!!! Hello, hello, glad to be here <3 Also sorry for late reply, I've been at work!

Additional info for context: I headcanoned Foolish as going by any pronouns but referring to himself with zie/hir if ever talking in the third person - but that's a whole 'nother set of headcanons for another post, haha. If you see those neos in here, that's why!

Foolish is one of my muses that I seem to love bullying, in all honesty. How I picture his story going is incredibly tragic, and it would take me ages to get to the blood and bones of what he was like before DSMP. A long while ago, I wrote a cute little soulmates fanfic that touched on how Foolish acted, so I'll keep things similarly brief (unless, of course, you wanted to hear every detail I can muster up :P).

Foolish is immortal in every sense of the word. I've always seen Totems as ageless — able to grow and never stop until their lives were traded for others. It's touched upon in c!Foolish's lore where totem children are expected to die for their parents — he just happened to be one of the few who made it well past adulthood and is now perfectly capable of maintaining and protecting himself. Seeing as he can live for centuries, he's gone through several shifts in his behaviors. From quiet and curious about the ever-changing Overworld to restless and bold, he's had time to figure out how he feels and what he deems right and wrong. 

There was a long period during this self-discovery stage when he was known as the "Totem of Death." Quick to anger, baring rows of sharp shark-like teeth, demolishing cities as if they meant nothing, and carrying a torrential downpour wherever he walked like an ominous cloud. He had no regard for life nor the sanctity of nature. His sole purpose was to control what he deemed beneath him — little bugs that could be squashed if he so pleased (a sentiment that zie still holds into the SMP but far more concealed). Everything he loved was bound to dissolve in time, and he saw no purpose in trying if they would turn to dust in the end.

He did pause to consider other immortals, or those who had centuries to live — gods, deities, children born to rule, such as Eret herself. I like to think it was more of a curiosity that rose when Foolish befriended Eret all those centuries ago. He was swimming in red while she watched on with milky white eyes. Call it admiration and mutual companionship, but Foolish did become somewhat of a guard-dog to Eret all that time ago. If anyone spoke out of turn to her, lightning struck, and he was first to snarl that they treat her with respect. If anyone got too friendly, he was a looming threat behind her, bristling and poised to protect whom he deemed his only friend. 

Somewhere along the line, the Wither Cult grew, creating too much carnage for Foolish to feel safe with Eret leaving his sight. Sure, she could protect herself, but Foolish is nothing if not worrying over those he dares to hold dear. It's unclear what their last straw was, but zie and her eventually raised the cult to ashes; thus marking the beginning of Foolish's mellowing out. Traveling with someone with a taste for beauty led to Foolish beginning to find more time to stop and smell the roses. He began to take up hobbies of artwork, relishing in how art was timeless and he didn't need to worry about it crumbling when he could immortalize it through such a delicate process.

Somewhere along the line, the two separated, though Foolish would hardly sit around and mope. He met others, creating... well, his own version of a cult if you tilted your head and squinted to read. Villages he used to destroy began to offer up wealth in turn for protection or monuments built by a demigod. Building was so much easier than massacring the innocent. It held more beauty — it was soothing. With an eternity to hone his skills, Foolish was soon creating structures inconceivable to the average person with a smile and a much happier stance.

Of course, he kept this attitude when he came to the DSMP. It's a conscious choice, as I've always seen Foolish as the type to record his own history. It's all along the walls of his Summer Home, written in tattered tomes deep within his temple, expressed through the sculptures and paintings littering his halls. He remembers everyone who's meant something to him, their lives — if they've been revived, then where they are now, who they are now — zie even takes the time to tend to their portraits hidden in his horde of wealth as if careful hands didn't already protect them.

Sometimes he has brushes with his anger and resentment towards mortals, calling them ants under his shoes or warning them not to piss him off. Sometimes, he laughs off his knowing looks — playing it off as if he doesn't know something is wrong or as if you had duped him. He's smarter than he gets credit for; it's hard to tell when he's genuinely ignorant of something or if he's putting up a front not to pressure information from those who might never be ready to share.

That's why when he meets up again with people like Eret, Foolish insists they know each other. He brings up details that he vividly remembers despite the confusion... and then drops it—laughing and agreeing that he must be confused, too. Maybe they should get some rest. And then he never mentions it again. His memories are very much intact (rereading your own experiences repeatedly makes recall so much easier), and his feelings are still very much real... but he knows he doesn't have the luxury of connection. He will never last in another's mind for as long as they do his... and he's okay with that.

Does he regret what he's done? To an extent. He doesn't remember the faces of those he's hurt, nor does he try to recall those events with anything more than gritted teeth and a hard chuckle. He has grown and changed. He sees no beauty in morality, but rather in the immortality he can craft. It gives him everything he was missing back when he was wild and reckless. Besides... he can atone for what he's done by being a good person now. He can sacrifice for mortals, and he can offer a gentle thumb to rub against their cheeks in times of need. It's sort of like during Sam's Warden Arc, where everyone felt like they were turning their backs on Sam, blaming him for every wrong they could possibly get their hands on— Foolish was the only one to remind him that he wasn't alone. 

"Don't bear this burden alone, Sam."

"I'm here for you, friend."

Foolish has worn many faces: Totem of Death, Demigod of the Sky and the Sea, and Totem of Undying, yet none of them will ever be entirely accurate. He's grown too accustomed to being what is needed in the fleeting time he enjoys with companions and their lives. Foolish will always cherish the past, but he's come to adore the present just as much.

Did I ramble a lot more than I thought I would? Yes. But THEN AGAIN, it's been literal months since I've gotten to ramble senselessly about my goofy goober. It turns out that I have no sense of what the word "brief" means....

[mistical52]

Danny Phantom Family Road Trip

So I'm on holiday with my family (we're being safe) and it got me thinking about what it would be like for all of the Fenton's to be on a holiday together.

I mentioned this on the discord and @lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks and I brainstormed this chaotic mess. Also, Lula's sister hulled so much weight with god-tier with dialogue, honestly, it's fantastic.

On this fun family trip, we have everyone.

Jack, Maddie, Danny, Jazz, Dani (Ellie), Dan, Aunt Alica, Flynn, and Vlad.

The Fenton's are all travelling in the Fenton RV and the seating configuration is like a maxi-taxi.

So driver and passenger.

Three backwards facing seats,

Three forward-facing seats looking at the backwards seats.

And three seats at the back. However, since there are only nine people on this trip two of the seats in the last row are put down to make room for the luggage. Meaning there's one lonesome seat at the back.

Jack and Maddie take turns driving, and Aunt Alica puts her hat in the ring for that too. But Jack drives first. So the main seating configuration is. Jack (driver), Ellie (passenger), she wants to see the sights.

Danny, Maddie and Dan are in the backwards-facing seats with Maddie in the middle. As soon as it's known that Maddie isn't sitting in the passenger seat both Danny and Dan simultaneously say, "I'm sitting next to mom," then glare at each other for it. But then reluctantly agree to it when they both realise that the other is stopping Vlad from sitting next to Maddie.

Next in the front-facing seats, we have Jazz, Flynn and Aunt Alica. Aunt Alica insisted on sitting next to Flynn (partially for Flynn, partially for her sister so she could keep Vlad further away from Maddie).

Finally, in the lonely seat in the back, we have Vlad, in Lula's words, being a sad little meow meow. Vlad is trying desperately to make eye contact with Maddie during this trip. It's important to note that Alica keeps moving her hair to keep getting in the way of Vlad's sightline of Maddie, while opening up for Dan's glorious death stare. Alica is in front of Vlad and Dan is in front of her, and somehow they unknowingly (on Dan's part, Aunt Alica can clearly see the death stare directed at Vlad) work together to reduce Vlad's interactions with Maddie.

On the next driving shift, Maddie is the driver and Vlad manages to sneak into the passenger seat, and Alica declares that she wants to take the next driving shift.

Dan sits in the front-facing seat behind the passenger and Vlad can feel his unblinking gaze. Dan is giving a death stare through the review mirror.

Danny and Dan have one thing in common, and that's the desire to stare Vlad down. It's the only mutual ground they have.

"Shit's tense but at least we both hate Vlad," as Lula said.

Danny 🤝 Dan Hating Vlad

Flynn meanwhile is glad to be home and with his family, but Dan, a full ghost, feels more familiar to be around. Flynn and Dan are a bit awkward a first because socialising??? With other beings?? Positively???

But they start to hang out more, partially because they're both the older 'kids'. They probably become friends by the end of the trip. And it's good because they both need friends. Big bro energy!!

Jazz joins them whenever she wants to because they're adults but they're closer to her age. Together they are the BIG SIB SQUAD!!

Danny and Ellie are cool just chilling with each other, but they would be annoying little shits, especially to Jazz, who's still a kid and not an adult like Flynn and Dan.

The baby sibs would annoy the shit out of all of the big sibs, less so for Flynn, at least at the start. They don't want to scare him off.

But then they pull a prank on Dan and get Flynn in on it, after all, Flynn knows how to sneak around ghosts after living in the ghost zone for years.

All of the kids team up for an epic prank on Vlad and to ensure that none of them gets caught. Vlad is sure it's at least Danny and Ellie, but he has no proof, and he only slightly thinks it might have been all of them.

During this trip, Jazz has taken it on herself to update Flynn and Ellie's knowledge of the world. And during this Danny and Dan say dumb untrue shit like, "You forgot about the sinkhole that ate the Eiffel Tower," and "What about the alien invasion last year?"

And Jazz gets exasperated, "THOSE THINGS DID NOT HAPPEN!"

And Dan counters, "How do you know they didn't happen in my timeline?"

And sometimes Danny and Dan say the same wild thing at the same time, with almost the exact same wording.

"There was a dinosaur resurrected with DNA found in a mosquito," - Danny

"Don't forget the dinosaur resurrected with DNA found in a Mosquito," - Dan

And they end in sync.

When they do it, it pisses them both off to no end.

But Danny and Dan saying the exact same thing really throws off Flynn who thinks that it probably happened.

(Thank Lula's sister for this next part 😊)

During the trip, they try to pass time with games, so Maddie goes, "How about we play I Spy? Dan, what do you spy?"

Dan staring directly at Vlad, "A little bitch."

Danny wants to guess so bad, but can't say it in front of his parents. But he's dying from Dan's comment.

But Flynn the newbie to the situation and to this 'game' goes, "Vlad?"

Flynn has seen where Dan has been looking this whole time and just, genuinely thinks this is how the game is played. Socially oblivious Flynn Walker.

Dan turns to Flynn and goes, "Yes, you're right."

Maddie smiles but schools it quickly. Jack, is also a bit amused. But together Maddie and Jack start to scold their 24-year-old murderous ghost son. All while Ellie is giggling, Jazz is trying to hide her smile behind her book and Flynn is smiling. Aunt Alica is greatly amused, but has a resting bitch face so only Flynn and Maddie can tell that.

Through breathless laughs, Danny says, "You got it right Flynn so it's your go."

And Flynn now very confident with this incorrect idea of how this game works, stares down Jazz and goes, "I spy a nerd."

"Jazz!" says Ellie joining in. She also has a very confident and incorrect idea of how the game is played.

“Yes,” says Flynn.

Everyone gives a little chuckle and Jazz goes, "Ok your go Ellie,"

Ellie turns and stares Danny down, "I spy a prototype"

Seeing his chance to make a snide comment at Danny, Vlad goes, with fake innocence, "Is it, Daniel?"

Ellie confirms it is.

Then Vlad goes, "I spy utter perfection," as he looks at Maddie.

At the same time, three people speak,

"ME!" says Jack.

While simultaneously Ellie and Flynn go, "That's not how the game is played!"

Then Danny and Dan go, "Yeah Vlad that's not how you play the game," like the little shits they are.

Jack then goes, "Does this mean I'm not perfection?"

"Yes," says Vlad quietly.

Nobody liked that, but only the halfa's the ghost, and Flynn heard it.

At this point, they start all arguing about the rules of the game and the whole thing is completely unsalvageable.

Then Jack teaches Ellie the 'bottles of beer on the wall' song. There is much regret and torment in the RV after that.

Jazz takes this as an opportunity to teach Ellie the numbers over 20 that she doesn't know.

Dan immediately says that he'll fly and meet them there.

Maddie turns on the ghost shield and gives Dan a deep stare which shows she knows the horrors of this song, "If I suffer, so will you."

Aunt Alica is just enjoying the shit show and vibing. She lives off the grid where she has to entertain herself with her fellow rednecks. Incessant drunken singing is practically her every Saturday night.

Flynn is just disassociating.

Vlad hates this.

Danny joins in with the song, this was his whole jam when he was the youngest. He's having a great time.

Danny loves how it's tormenting Vlad and purposefully messes up the song, in the single digits.

"Damn it Danny you messed it up! Now I have to start over again," says Ellie.

"Oh no it's okay I remember where we're up to-" starts Jazz.

"No Jazz she has to start over it's the law," says Danny before then turning to Vlad with the biggest shit eating grin.

Maddie and Dan continue to die. However, Vlad is dying more. Not even Jack killed him this much.

We also get a beach episode, because why not.

Flynn and Ellie would be so weirded out by the ocean.

Aunt Alica, goes, well I haven't been to the beach in a while and proceeds to show everyone how buff she is. The only people who can compete with her is Dan and Jack.

Vlad's skinny arse is also outclassed by Maddie too.

Jazz would be insisting that everyone be sun safe.

Dan comes out from the change room in a sun shirt and board shorts.

"Jazz, why am I wearing this?" Dan gestures to the sun shirt.

"So you don’t get sunburnt of course," responds Jazz.

Dan looks Jazz dead in the eyes, "Jazz, I'm literally dead."

For the sleeping arrangements, everyone's in tents. The kids get split up into 'boys' and 'girls'.

Vlad brings his own luxury tent and invites Maddie to stay with him, but Aunt Alica declares that she wants to bunk with her sister. So Vlad ends up with Jack, the loud snorer. And he can't murder Jack in his sleep because everyone (at least the kids) would know it was him.

I also have art to go with this. Link.

[slutfor-fictionalmen]

Hi! I'm a new follower , sent by @birds-have-teeth :)

I had sent in a request for izuku thinking it was from them but it was not (sorry again)

Well here it is :)

#4 and #6 being angsty + fluff :). Maybe Tamaki being the one Izuku is jealous of, and maybe, if it's ok with you a chubby reader (chubby baby rights 😭)

Thank you for your time :)

- ashi's 👻 anon

Sorry it’s so bad! I hope you like it! 4. “i think we’re meant to be.”

6. “my heart fucking breaks whenever i see you with him!”

He was angry. Of course he was, you were his and only his…. Right? This was the fifth day in a row that you’ve ditched izuku for some “girl time” with Tamaki. Maybe if they weren’t so similar it wouldn’t have bothered him, he would have been fine with it if it were an actual GIRL. But no, it was him, you were giving your brightest smile to HIM, laughing at HIS jokes. Izuku didn’t like it, he didn’t like how comfortable tamaki  was touching you, he didn’t like his inner dialogue of whether or not you would be better off with tamaki.

Izuku loved you, you’ve been friends for years, but you’ve never really ditched him like you have this year. It hurt him, he always thought you were his, that you were inseparable, but you needed time away eventually, you couldn’t be with him all the time….. could you? He wanted to tell you how he felt, he was going to before Tamaki came into your lives, so he just shut up.

But he didn’t want to be rude, he hated the thought of upsetting you and ruining his chances to ask you out, even if you said no….. he wanted a shot with you. He sat by and watched as you leaned into him when laughing, how Tamaki wiped the tear of laughter forming at your eye and gazed at you. It was obvious this boy loved you, he called you his bunny, stood up for you even when he would get hurt, and he was always there. Izuku hated how threatened he felt around him, how if by any chance you get together and he messes up, tamaki will sweep you off of your feet and he’ll lose you.

He watches as you stand up, flipping off Katsuki when he said something about how good you look today, and throw your trash away. He didn’t expect you to look right at him and smile. He also didn’t expect to give a half assed smile, full of hesitation and doubt. You gave him a small frown, approaching him carefully.

“Izuku? Are you ok? You look like something’s wrong-“ “can we talk somewhere private….. please?”  You pull back in surprise, a bit thrown off by his request, but agreeing and following the young hero. You turn around with your eyes closed, ready to initiate conversation in hopes that the shy man will open up.

Before you speak, you feel him push you against a wall, planting his hand above your shoulders. Your eyes shoot open, staring at the troubled man as he struggles to find words to verbalize what he needs to say. You cup his face, rubbing your thumb along his freckles and smiling slightly.

“Whatever it is, you can say it izu, you know you can always ope-“ “I hate it, I fucking hate it, I hate how he looks at you, how he acts around you, how he…. Touches you, I hate how you respond, how you act like it’s ok, how you just sit there and let him touch what’s Mine,” a blush appears on his face as he inhales shakily, “ for some sick reason I can’t stand to see you with anyone else, maybe it’s cause I think we’re meant to be  or maybe it’s because I hate him and I want you for myself because of how my heart aches… no, my heart fucking breaks when I see you with him. Whatever it is….. I don’t like it, and I’m sorry you have to find out this way…”

You laugh, surprising izuku and pulling him from his ranting. Your snorts and wheezes fill his ears, confusing him and making him regret his confession. You see him pulling back and looking away, causing you to stop and pull his face in your hands.

“You’re talking about tamaki right?” You look at him with a wide smile, confusing izuku, but still allowing him to smile, “ izu…… tamaki the man who lets me paint his nails and Is constantly seen with a new man Tamaki? Tamaki that has a rainbow sticker on his shoes to ‘stomp on the haters?’ Him?” Izuku looks lost, staring blankly before his mind collects the given information. He’s gay. Izuku slaps his forehead disappointed with himself for not seeing it sooner.

Your laughs fill his ears, making him realize just how stupid he was, how he fucked up the whole situation and was jealous of a man with no interest in her…. Or any girl whatsoever. A furious blush covers his face as he shrinks into himself from embarrassment. You take his hands in your own making him look you in the eye as your laughter dies down.

“You really mean it? That you think we’re meant to be?” Izuku nods “ Well, I just so happen to be talking to Tama about how I feel the same, that I like you a lot….. we’ve known each other for a while…. I never thought you felt the same…” Izuku caresses her face, looking at her with wide, bright eyes, and a smile.

“Even when I told you I was gonna marry you that one time?” You smiled and shook your head ,” or when I told you I loved you when you got into that agency?” You feel flushed, how did you not see it before? “I always loved you, we just never saw it possible with each other.” You lean up, pecking his lips and hugging him.

“I’m glad I got you jealous, our dumb asses would have never known without that.” You share a mutual look, knowing how oblivious you both are. Izuku’s cheeks are painted red as you enter back into the food court holding his scarred hand. You press a soft kiss onto the back of his hands before you part, returning back to your friends.

You sighed as all of your friends gave you knowing looks, and whistling at you.

Sure it was shitty timing, but looking over at Izuku, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[julyarchives]

Into You

First dates can be a little awkward, so you thought that a carnival would be a good place to make it fun, and Yuto definetly is the best company for that.

→ Pairing: Yuto x Female Reader

→ Genre: Fluff;

→ Words:  1K

→ A/n: We are so soft for Yuto now 🥺 this was so cute to write, and now all we can thing about is holding Yuto's big hands. Thank you so much for the sweet anon who requested this story!

First dates can be a little awkward, so you thought that a carnival would be a good place to make it fun. You met Yuto a while ago, through a mutual friend, and when he texted asking you out it was actually surprising, because he seemed really shy, although always friendly towards you.

It was an opportunity to get to know each other better and just take things slow, so you were excited and looking forward to having fun together. At first, you were walking quietly side by side, both of you trying to surpass your own timidity, and looking for the first ride to go together but after one roller coaster ride, you were already teasing each other.

"You were so pale, I thought you were going to be sick" you joked.

"I didn't get sick, but my ears are still ringing from all your screaming" He laughed softly.

"That was because I was having fun!" You tried to defend yourself

"I believe you were not scared, sure." His laugh now turned into giggles, trying to keep a serious face.

"I'll prove to you I'm not easily scared! Let's go to the haunted house!' You didn't wait for his answer, just followed your way towards the ride, hearing his faint laugh behind you.

Once inside, the neon lights and costumes were a little scarier than you thought, but you wouldn't cave in.

"Who decided asylums were scary anyway?" You walked confidently, trying to fake it until you make it "I can't even see anyth-"

Your speech was cut short when a doll fell from the ceiling right in front of you, making you squeak and jump back. Yuto was right behind you, so your first instinct led you to grab his hand to pull yourself closer, letting him take the lead. You could tell he got scared too because he gripped your hand right back. When both of you realized it, a brief exchange of embarrassed looks happened, but when you tried to let go, Yuto kept holding it, passing in front of you. You were sure you were blushing, but at least he couldn't see you in the dim-lit room.

"Come on, we're almost finishing"  he looked at you and smiled reassuringly.

In the end, both of you were scared but the banter didn't matter. You passed together through the exit door running away from the last scary character, hands still clasped together. Seeing each other in daylight now only felt silly, so again you were laughing together,

"That was fun,"  you said "but I think I need a cotton candy and a minute to breath"

"Okay, I think we passed cotton candies on the way here, let's go."

Yuto started walking and you finally noticed that neither of you let go of each other, and also neither of you seemed to mind. You two walked with absolutely no rush, enjoying each other's company and exchanging smiley looks.

Turns out holding hands became natural really fast for you, barely letting go throughout the day. Talking to him also became normal, not having room for any shyness now. You learned a lot about each other, just like planned, and there more you learned about him the more you liked the date.

"Oh, wait, I'm good at these!" He stopped at a baseball throw booth, and let go of your hand to play.

You pouted the loss of contact but were suddenly surprised when he effortlessly hit the target three times in a row, and you had to admit that it was hot to see him smirking proudly of his skills.

"Oh wow" you let it slip

"I told you I'm good at this." he winked.

The man gave him a fluffy teddy bear as the prize for winning the game, and Yuto promptly gave it to you.

"For me?" You said, eyes glowing at the cutest stuffed animal you've ever seen.

You hugged him sideways and, without giving much thought to it, kissed his cheek. The blush that tinted his face, along with his surprised expression was so cute that you couldn't help but giggle.

"Thank you" you said shyly.

"It's fine" he mumbled, a little too embarrassed to think about anything else to say.

He then reached his hand, palm up for you to hold, with the sweetest smile on his face. It was pretty clear that both of you didn't want to let go of each other anymore, and it was by far the best date you've ever had.

The sun was starting to set, but neither of you felt like going home already. The carnival was set by the ocean, so you found a bench on the pier and sat down together. It was a comfortable silence now, admiring the sky dancing around in beautiful colors as you rested your head on his shoulders.

"Yuto" you called him, your voice not much louder than a whisper, and he hummed in acknowledgment "I had a lot of fun with you today."

"Me too, y/n" he answered, his deep voice sounding very pleasant to your ears "I'm glad I asked you out."

"I'm glad you did" you sat up straight to look at him, the smile on your face mirroring his'.

He stared at you like you were a precious doll, and you enjoyed the butterflies that danced around your stomach because of that.

"I-" he started talking, but interrupted himself, fingers nervously fidgeting with your hand, that he hasn't let go since he first held it. You closed your other hand around his and gave a reassuring squeeze. "Can I kiss you?"

You didn't find words to answer, placing instead your hand on his nape and gently pulling him close to you. His lips softly touched yours, like he was testing waters, and the tingly sensation made you chase for more. His hand held your face, guiding you gently, thumb caressing cheek. You finished with a couple of pecks on his lips, thinking that you could get used to that.

Yuto brought your hand he's been holding to his lips, placing a kiss on your knuckles.

"Would you like to go on another date sometime?" He asked, a cute smile fixed on his lips

"Only if we don't have to wait so long to find an excuse to hold hands again." You giggled

"Deal"

[daisybeewrites]

Sorry, I’m Married

word count?: 3.5k

warnings: canon-typical violence, i don’t describe it graphically tho, just a minor skirmish. happy ending :)

requested? no

ship: dousy/daisy johnson x daniel sousa & dad!coulson

hey guys! i wrote this on a whim after hanging out in a dousy group. i was inspired by the chat at the end of the fic. as always, thank you for reading!! and drink some water ;) fic under the cut!

Neon lights reflected off rough concrete walls as Daisy’s combat boots walked down the steps to the underground club. Light up signs glowed and glittery heels flashed as crowds of people surged and stepped on the technicolour dance floor. The sequins of her dress reflected spotlights that roved the entry area. There were booths with cushy red banquettes lining the walls near the bar, giving college girls a place to rest their feet and hotshot businessmen a table to sip beer. Currently, the club was full, young men and women crowding the bar and dance floor. Decades night, Daisy deduced, as most of the inhabitants were wearing flashy dresses or denim bell bottoms. Deke would’ve loved this, she thought. I wonder how Deke is doing…

Daisy’s mind drifted as the light up jukebox in the corner switched songs. She didn’t spot the target anywhere, so she pushed in a quarter, chose her favourite 80s hit, and watched as the jukebox queued her song. The vibrations of the speakers were reverberating through her, pumping her adrenaline up. Good, more energy for a fight if I need it. 

Three leather stools were open at the bar—one by itself, and two side by side. She nodded at the bartender and sat in the single empty seat. Her comms crackled in her right ear, reminding her of why she was here in the first place. 

“Dais, can you hear me?” She located where Coulson was speaking across the room, sitting in a wooden booth near the side exit. He casually leaned back and sipped his drink. 

“Loud and clear,” Daisy mumbled. 

“New intel from HQ just came in. The weapons the target is dealing? Alien tech.”

“Great, she said sarcastically,” said Daisy, clearly annoyed. 

Coulson laughed. “On your 3.” 

Daisy rested her elbow forward on the bartop, scanning the selection of alcohols as a premise to look down the row of people to her right. She noticed two young lads dressed in all black suits, carrying briefcases. There was no way these guys were in charge of the illegal operation. Well, at least they won’t be a problem if it comes down to a fight, she thought.

As Daisy’s eyes roamed the club, she locked eyes with a muscular, bodyguard-type with a small, raised scar over his eye. She smiled then turned around. She recognized the uniform he was wearing as standard bouncer garb, but his side-piece was not. CF380, Princetown standard issue. Daisy signaled his presence to Coulson. 

“These guys? Again?” 

Princetown was a group of rich, privileged sons of international diplomats and of heads of large corporations. They slipped through the FBI’s fingers like sand. Now, they had alien tech. No diplomatic immunity would allow them to get out of an arrest now. 

Coulson nodded behind her. She subtly turned her head and glanced in that direction. Wearing an overly expensive silk suit and holding a glass of champagne, stood Luca Casagrande. Son of the Italian Minister of foreign affairs. Notorious for his parties, wealth, and lack of self-control. He winked at a blonde waitress who slipped him a piece of paper, which was very obviously not a bill. Daisy rolled her eyes. Criminals these days are so stupid, she thought. 

Coulson bit back a laugh at Daisy’s reaction. “Alright, Daisy, you’re up.”

“Remind me again why I was chosen for this part of the mission?” she murmured while sipping her drink to hide her words.

“Because, you’re good at it.” Coulson went quiet for a second then added, “And I'm not Casagrande’s type.”

Daisy flashed her eyes in Coulson’s direction, frustrated. She mentally went over the calming exercises May taught her. Deep breath, exhale. Let’s do this.

Daisy slid off the barstool, and approached Casagrande slowly. He only looked her direction when she sidled up next to him. 

“Hey, sweetheart. What’s a beautiful girl like you doing out here all by yourself?” A smooth, accented voice inquired.

Daisy bottled up a sarcastic remark and stocked it on the shelf for later use. Only Daniel is allowed to call her sweetheart. 

“Well, I was hoping,” she blinked up at him, batting her eyelashes. “to find some product. Heard you had all the good stuff. I'm lucky I even caught you here, considering your reputation.”

“Geez. Laying it on a little thick aren’t we?” Coulson couldn’t help it. The snort Daisy covered up as a cough was too hilarious.

Luca smiled. It was charming, but unsettling. “Oh? And what reputation would that be?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Daisy countered. She looked around before continuing, “Look, I've got pressure on me to deliver. I’d appreciate it if we talked business before pleasure.”

 “Hard to get.” Luca’s eyes sparkled. “Alright. Let’s talk business.”

He leaned over the bar and signaled the bartender to bring him two glasses of whiskey on the rocks. Once a glass was in his hand, he gestured to Daisy’s. “You don’t drink?”

“Not when I'm on the clock. My employers frown upon it.” 

Casagrande nodded. “I see. So, what type of product were you looking for?”

“Anything I can sell. Uncle Sam called and said they need a next gen advantage for soldiers. Weapons, maybe?” She ran a finger down the lapel of his suit. “They pay generously.”

“You work for the US military.”

“We have a... mutual understanding.” Daisy flashed a brilliant smile. It was kind of fun playing an undercover persona. 

Luca studied her face. “I don’t get details?”

Daisy scoffed, “Of course not. Son of a foreign diplomat, it’s a risk the US can’t take. If other countries found out…”

“Yes, I understand," He responded carefully. 

“And I understand that you also do some dirty business with governments.”

A menacing half-smile rose on his face. “Only the beautiful ones.”

Looking up into his eyes, Daisy felt the same disgust that had been worn by everyone at the mission briefing. Au contraire, Luca seemed to find Daisy extremely attractive. 

“Why don’t we—”

“No.” Daisy internally cringed, but on the outside she seemed relaxed and blasé. She risked a glance at Coulson, to see his reaction. His entire body was rigid. She didn’t blame him. Hearing some douchebag proposition your daughter...yulgh. She wished Daniel was here to watch her back, too... this guy was getting under her skin. Everything about Casagrande pushed her buttons. 

“No?”

“No,” Daisy affirmed, tilting her head. “Business first. We can talk about any other deals after.” 

“But there is a possibility?” He cheekily remarked. 

Not a chance in hell, Daisy thought. “Maybe. But for now, I need to move product ASAP.”

Luca mulled thos over and sipped the burning whiskey. “I may have some contacts that could help you. In return, what will you give me?”

Though the question was innocent, his intentions were obvious. That was exactly what she wanted. 

“Depends on how good the product is.” She stepped a little closer “It’s a little crowded in here, don’t ya think?”

He pushed off the bar, inches from her. He smelled like overly expensive cologne, and not the good kind. “I'm meeting some business associates out back in a few minutes. We’ll make a deal after that.”

“Would they happen to have anything I could—”

“Sorry, sweetheart, I do business privately.”

Daisy faked a sweet smile and resisted the urge to punch him. 

Luca took two steps toward the back door, then turned around and strutted back. He tilted his head towards her. “A good luck ki—?”

BRing. BRing. Bzzzzz. 

Best. Timing. Ever. Daisy shot Luca an apologetic look before picking up. 

“Hello? Oh, Dad! One sec.” Daisy took the phone off her ear, and whispered to Luca, “It’s my Dad. He’s in the hospital. Doesn’t know what my real job is.”

She brought the phone back up to her ear as Luca irritatedly glanced around. 

“Dad? Yeah... No, I'm fine, how are you feeling?... That’s great, Dad.” She winked at Luca and held up a finger. Daisy was glad he didn’t notice Coulson over her shoulder, also on the phone. 

“I'm with some friends…” Luca raised his eyebrows. “Luca Casagrande... He does business with my marketing firm.”

Daisy waved Luca away after noticing him checking his Rolex twice in ten seconds. He nodded and headed out back. She made sure he was out of earshot before alerting Coulson.

“Coulson, he’s headed out.”

“Yup, QJ-6 is on the way. I’ll stay to watch his lackeys.”

Daisy gave the bartender a tip and walked towards the back door, grabbing her gauntlets from behind the bar. He dipped his chin and continued wiping down the counter.

As she walked into the chilly night air, Daisy was greeted with silence. Droplets of water dripped onto the leather of her boots from the rooftop. The concrete crunched in the darkness of the alley. Light from the streetlamps was scarce, melding shadowy corners with the dim alleyway.. Daisy could hear faint music through the brick walls of the club. A smirk formed on her face as her pick from the jukebox played. Walking towards the street, she checked behind the moldy trash bins for a sign that Casagrande was hiding. The opening guitar grew louder as the safety of a gun clicked off behind her. 

“So,” Daisy raised her hands up. It was a trap. “what happened to your business associates?”

Luca chuckled behind her. 

“You’re not stupid. You can figure it out.”

Daisy slowly turned around to face him. 

“You bluffed to see if I would follow you.” She wasn’t surprised. She had counted on this. “You’re a decent liar.”

“So are you.” Luca lowered the gun a bit. “Who are you? CIA?”

“That’s classified.” 

Luca laughed, haphazardly slinging the pistol to the side in a grand gesture. “Of course it is.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said that the government and I have a mutual understanding.”

“But that isn’t the whole truth, is it?” 

Daisy smirked. “Of course not.”

Technically, this was true. Her status as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent was protected knowledge, no one but people inside her agency and a handful high-ranking world intelligence officers were aware.

Daisy decided he might as well know who she was. He was going to be locked up in a max-security cell pretty soon, anyway.

He fell against the wall as Daisy hit him with a small quake, just enough to get her point across. His expression was one of pure shock.

“You- Y- You’re…”

“Mar—”

“Daisy, what’s going on?” Coulson must have felt the vibrations. She didn’t think she had hit Luca that hard. Daisy could hear the quinjet approaching, the comforting vibrations of the engine helping to calm her nerves. She stepped toward Luca.

“You have two options: come peacefully with me, or I call the cavalry to take you in by force.”

Luca stayed on the ground, silent. He reminded Daisy of a pouting toddler. 

This toddler had a few tricks up his sleeve. 

Coulson’s voice came through her ear. “Daisy, do you ha—”

Daisy’s blood ran cold as she received static from the other line.

“Coulson? Coulson?!”

Wide brown eyes turned to watch Casagrande’s smirk grow. 

“Problem?" He said smugly. 

Daisy quickly knocked him out with the mini-ICER she kept inside her boot and ran back inside. Opening the solid metal door to the inside of the club, she registered the panicked screams from the main room. As she hurtled through the plain hallway towards the crowds, she wished she had a way to tell the backup team that they were flying into trouble. He must’ve known we’d be here. How did he know we’d be here? 

The walls were a blur as the confusion and fear from the civilians in the club became palpable. The door squeaked on its hinges as Daisy threw it open. She didn’t see Coulson anywhere. Actually, she couldn’t see anything at all. An EMP. Cool. Fun. Alright. That’s fine. 

It’s all fine.

Wandering the crowds, Daisy tried to find a way to contact the team. Surely they had a landline in here? 

The bartender pulled her aside as she passed him. He silently pointed to the jukebox. It was the only thing still on and functioning. Of course, Daisy didn’t know how she hadn’t seen it before! 

She walked to the jukebox and searched the sides for a dial, a button, something... Aha! She unlatched the panel and bent down to dial Piper’s number. She pressed the call button while her vision grew blurry. Her eyelids drooped. A sluggish head turn towards the dance floor gave a view of unconscious bodies asleep next to each other. Daisy tried to stand, to walk to the nearest victim of the sleeping gas. A burning zap that seemed to travel through her veins rendered her unconscious. I have to find Coulson…

Daisy knew she probably shouldn’t have left Casagrande in the alley by himself. She was playing right into his hand.

Coulson was more important.

Coulson. What would he do?

Daisy slowly tried to open her eyes. She felt like she had a hangover. The light was dim, the floor beneath her cold as ice. Her hearing slowly came back as she took in her surroundings. A pair of black dress shoes blurred into her frame of vision. 

“Hey, you’re awake.” Coulson’s voice flooded her with relief.

“What happened? Where…?”

Coulson helped her sit up against a rough stone wall. “I have no clue. Best guess? An Italian castle.”

Daisy was suddenly very awake. “We’re in Italy?”

“Hey, I said best guess.” Coulson pointed his fingers to the ceiling. “I heard footsteps up there earlier.”

Daisy just nodded. Last time she was in Italy, she had a hell of a lot better time. For starters, no one zapped her with— wait, what was she hit with?

“What was that weapon I was hit with? It felt like it was melting my insides.” The thought scared her. The only other time she had felt that type of pain was when... she didn’t like to think about it. 

“You know the alien tech that Casagrande was running?” Daisy nodded. “Yeah, it was that.”

A loud groan solidified Daisy’s frustration. Her eyes closed while she tried to concentrate. She tried to feel any vibrations near her, to soak up anything that could signal where they were. Instead of feeling the vibrations of a mountain or a plane, she felt footsteps. Coming closer, closer... Daisy opened her eyes. 

Luca entered the chilly cell through the thick steel door. She would have quaked him back about a hundred feet if it weren’t for Coulson’s hand on her arm. 

“You two seem comfortable. Can I get you a drink? Water? Coffee?” His smile was smug and irritating.

Coulson replied before Daisy could. “No, we’re good thanks. How about instead, you give us some answers. Starting with: where are we, and who’s your source?” His voice got harder and colder as he went on. Luca acted unfazed. 

“No. You are insurance. You have physical evidence of my illegal trades. I was going to leave you on the curb, but then this guy,” Luca pointed over his shoulder at a soldier then slapped the short lad on the back. Daisy recognized him as one the short lads with briefcases at the bar. “This guy had to go and shoot you with the Widow’s Bite!”

Coulson's eyes grew wide in recognition. Daisy could connect the dots herself.

“You stole Black Widow’s weapons?” They said in unison. Coulson and Daisy looked at each other and fell silent. By Daisy’s profile, if they kept acting surprised and in awe, he would keep giving them answers. 

“Yes, I did. Amazing right?” Luca stared off into the distance. “Last month I hired a thief to get into the Avenger’s Compound. She got a copy of Stark’s old hard drive, picked up some old relics, modified them with alien metal stolen from Hydra. But every time I tried to open it, it would corrupt my servers. I took the damn thing to every hacker I knew, now they all want to kill me because I crashed their servers. Some of them used to be part of the Rising Tide, when they were still young and hotheaded. They told me about a hacker named Skye. She disappeared, never heard from again. She has no information on her. She has no records. Not even in the top intelligence departments of America. She doesn’t exist.

“But Daisy Johnson does. Daisy Johnson, a hacker who rose in Skye’s place. Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“And you need us to get to her,” Coulson finished. “I hate to burst your bubble, but we’re expendable. You’re better off throwing us in the ocean than you are waiting for her to come.”

Luca seemed to be seriously considering this. Then he nodded. You’re right, I need to up the ante. Raise the stakes a little.”

He jerked a thumb over his shoulder as he turned on heel and swaggered down the hallway. “Bring them.”

Two soldiers came in to get Daisy and Coulson. They reached down to grab Daisy, and she swiftly brought her head forward to hit theirs. Stunned, the soldier took a step back, giving Daisy time to stand up before she gave a hard kick to his stomach. The other soldier was similarly impaired, having taken a startlingly strong punch to the jaw from Coulson. The crack! of the bone echoed off the stone walls. Daisy quaked them against the wall for good measure, realizing they hadn’t taken her gauntlets. Coulson was waiting by the door. 

“Let’s go.” 

They ran through the halls, following where they thought Casagrande might have gone, stopping in several rooms on the way to hide from Casagrande’s soldiers. They ran into him at the front of what was, indeed, a stone castle. He stood on the uneven steps gazing out at rolling hills and cottony clouds hung high above a choppy lake. The wind blew hard, just enough to make you wish for a sweater from someone warm and comforting. It was all quite picturesque. 

Except for the criminal standing in front of them. 

“Congrats, you escaped! I’m so glad.” Luca smiled and opened up his arms. 

“Somehow this guy still sounds smug. We just escaped from his prison and this guy still thinks he’s won.” Coulson turned to Daisy. 

Daisy shook her head and shouted, “Hey, Luca! The fight’s not finished yet!”

“Really, sweetheart? Because it looks to m—”

He was interrupted by a violent quake in his direction. She strided over to where he was struggling to get up. 

“It looks like what? I can’t hear you.” Daisy rested her hands on her hips. 

“It looks as if you are lost. Even if you escape, you have no way to get home,” he wheezed. 

Daisy rolled her eyes. Coulson walked up behind her, squatting down beside Luca and using a hand on his shoulder to keep him in place. 

“We’re resourceful. And while we were hiding from guards in some of your fancy tech rooms, we found an old sat phone. They’re easy enough to use, all we had to do was phone a friend and tell them exactly where we are,” Coulson explained. 

“Ah, but you don’t know where we are, sweetheart.” His rebuttal was pointed at Daisy. She decided it was her turn to prove him wrong. 

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. You counted on us not being able to crack your hard drive’s encryption and get past your feeble firewalls. That took less than five minutes. The only remotely hard part about hacking you to find our coordinates was trying to read everything in Italian.” Daisy laughed. 

Luca tried the wiggle away from them. “If you have my hard drive, then you know there isn’t anything of importance on there.”

As she pulled a pair of handcuffs out of her boot, Daisy exchanged a look with Coulson. 

“You’re right, there isn’t anything of value on that hard drive,” she said. “There are about 100 other files I downloaded from your personal computer that do have important intel, though.” 

Coulson pulled a face and sucked in a breath. “Yikes.”

“So, I guess if you’re arresting me, there isn’t any chance we could ever do business, if you know what I mean?”

Daisy mentally pulled that bottle off the shelf and dusted off her sarcastic remark. 

“Sorry, I’m married.”

Daisy locked the cuffs into place and stood Casagrande up. Two quinjets touched down thirty minutes later, one with a team of agents to search the castle, and one to take Daisy and Coulson home. Agent Piper met Daisy on the ramp of QJ-6, something metallic and glittery in her hand. 

“Thanks for holding onto it.” Daisy hugged Piper before taking her ring back. 

“No problem. Wouldn’t want this rock to get lost in the field!” she laughed. 

Daisy slipped the smooth metal on her finger and sagged into the jump seat next to Coulson. She rested her head on his shoulder, softly gazing at her hand. 

“I can’t wait to be home with Daniel.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: heeeey! this fic was inspired by @starkmaiden ‘s post in a dousy group i’m in. thank you!! if you have a request, question for me, or want to be added to my taglist go visit my ask box! i love each and every one of you :)

[bxllafanficc]

¡Skate/sing your hearts out! (Yuri Plisetsky x reader)

(part seven)

Part one. Masterlist!

Summary: After last year's cancellation of Figure Skating Grand Prix, Yuri Plisetsky finds himself unable to bring out his inner skater after a year of doing nothing but enjoy life like a regular teenager. That's when you enter the picture; We Are Voice Grand Awards's currently hottest competitive vocalist come first place two years in a row. Just like the other competitors of Grand Prix, it turns out that Victor and Yuuri faces the same issue. With an arrangement between Victor and Yakov, they agree to travel to Japan and hire you as a mutual coach for Yuri and Yuuri to help bring back the emotion into their performances like before, maybe even more intense than ever. Yuri however, who's never experienced issues with his coaches before, for some reason finds this one particularly difficult to coexist along with in their (reasonably) odd partnership. Warnings: none

*Yuri's POV*

(Next week)

A week had passed by in a rather slow pace. Yuri's recovery seemed to never end when it had just been a few days. But those days were spent sleeping and eating, using his phone and sleeping some more. Mostly he had no one to talk to since everyone were busy with their own lives. Especially (Y/n) who had to keep her inner performer alive at all times. Her coach came with the idea of hosting a smaller gig where (Y/n) would perform about two or three numbers for the people of Japan. It was planned out as a small nightclub gig at first but the numbers of interested in Japan rose over the charts and well... (Y/n) said that she didn't want to let anyone down. Though her coach was apparently hesitant into taking more than a hundred people. 'Three numbers are too little for a concert.' They said but the people of Japan insisted on paying for the price a concert ticket anyway.

(Y/n) had told him this two days after his fever started. He remembered it made him scoff at how she decided the ticket would only cost a quarter of what a normal concert ticket would then. He had told her it was a ridiculous way of thinking.

He barely saw her after the first day of his fever. The way Yuri had taken a hold of her hand and fallen asleep... She waited until he woke up. Well, not exactly waited. She fell asleep at the edge of his bed.

And since that, the two of you barely talked during the days. They barely even met before she went to bed because she spent every waking hour to practice her numbers with her backup dancers. She still made you breakfast when she head the time though.

Yuri's glad it would soon be over and he could go back to normal. Everyone had been attending to him like he was some child and he felt like a huge burden. He had told Victor that he wished (Y/n) especially wouldn't just dismiss his attempts at doing things on his own just because he couldn't get out of bed with single effort. 'Right, she told me about that! You fell on your face right after while trying, didn't you?' He had replied.

So... yeah... Yuri wanted things to return to normal real fast. Yakov had promised him that he would get to start his session with (Y/n) as soon as the music for the program was set. And that was what Victor had been helping him with a couple times. It was hard to find something he wanted to use. Everything felt overused and boring. Just another performance. Yuri didn't want it to pass as that. He wanted to stand out and earn his gold medal for real just as last year. Now was also really the year of improvement so the music had to be well thought through. He was certainly going to take advantage of having a coach for emotional performances with him this season as well. Meaning, his free skate program was already set to be something hurtful and strong. Not love, he already did that. Something far more serious. He wanted the audience to cry after his performance. Everyone should be bawling. Yakov, piglet, Victor and even (Y/n).

Most important of all, no one would be expecting him to do a program with such deep meaning. Because he was one to avoid it in the past.

His short program should be something upbeat and flashy. He wanted the choreography so intense that he'd be coughing up blood at the end of the performance, if that was possible. So the music had to make the pulse of the audience rise when hearing it. Meaning, the music would be in the rock genre. And he already had just the song for it.

This performance would show off his skills and flexibility as well as the importance of his stamina since the entire program would be non-stop step sequences and jumps throughout almost the entire music. Since he intended to be in better shape than ever before before the competition started, he felt no point in holding back on anything. If he played it safe, then what was the point?

"Ah! Good morning Yuri! I come bearing gifts!" Victor busted the door open with his foot and stumbled inside the room, balancing a tray in his hand. The tray was set down in front of him and Victor sat down at the end of Yuri's bed.

"Where's (Y/n)?" Yuri was truly surprised to see Victor being the one to bring you the breakfast today. It had been her until now. And he hadn't even seen as much as her face today since she left so early.

"Ouch. I'm replaced already? I can't go on knowing I'm not your favorite anymore, you know." Victor put a dramatic hand to his forehead and fell backwards onto Yuri's legs. The tray with the breakfast threatened to tumble and Yuri made an effort to stabilize it. It was bacon and eggs with apple slices. A part of him felt a little sad that the slices weren't in the shape of stars...

"You were never my favorite, old man. And you didn't answer my question." Yuri picked up the fork and pointed it towards the man slopped unto the bed end. He ignored the sad pout he received and took a bite of the apple cut into pieces. Each slice were to large and it didn't even taste the same even though they were of the same apples like yesterday. The eggs were decent and the bacon slightly undercooked. Victor's efforts to cook for the household during the day were appreciated of course. But there was no wonder why (Y/n) stood for the head of the dinner at days when her schedule wasn't as crazy.

"She's practicing like mad. Called her dancers to say that she would be starting a few hours ahead of time because she got an energy boost. She wants the show to be at her best efforts possible."

"I haven't even seen her today. How can she practice like a maniac when she's probably already learned her numbers flawlessly?"

Victor was watching Yuri with a funny look. Probably wondering where all those questions came from.

"I think the show is a way for her to relax."

Say what? Going out of bed before sunrise and coming back from practice just mere hours before midnight could never be considered relaxation. Yuri would never be able to pull that off. That was an insane view of the word relaxing, definitely.

"The steam and demands from her competition in We are voice are currently lifted off her shoulders like heavy weights, you know. This is probably just fun to her. She doesn't have to compete with anyone. I think it gives her a sense of relief."

Yuri stopped eating and thought a little extra on what Victor said.

Yes. She was always stressed in every video where a fan or a nosy reporter came out of nowhere and started recording. Yuri had seen those videos. Especially the one where the random person happened to record the exact moment her mind broke down and she had a breakdown in front of a large crowd. Now there was no denying that Yuri sees (Y/n) as the most weirdest and ridiculous being alive. The way she is so determined to get her way and how much she cares for strangers she's never met. Yuri kind of still consider the two of them to be strangers, even after two weeks being with each other on a daily basis. Her eyes are also too intense for anyone to be up close with to her face and as if that wasn't enough, she's also a morning person and that's already a big warning sign to stay away from a person.

But even though he had had this mental conversation with him many times. Even though he agreed that he disliked her; he couldn't help but being captivated by her performances.

It felt so weird seeing her cry like that just minutes before her performance and then watching her going on stage having the time of her life. There was no doubt she loved her fans and performing on stage but that was one of those moments where Yuri really got to see the mind behind the happy smile. It was the first time he had seen her crying or feeling a negative emotion. It's still the first but he got a taste of her irritated self not so long ago.

It made Yuri think about her performance that day. It was a remarkable song filled with sheerness and excitement and her eyes were still wet with tears as she got up on stage.

"Remember (Y/n) performing 'Animal' during the acappella collaboration sequence?"

"Yes! One of my favorites. She was so happy on stage that day." While it had been true that she found happiness, it's not to ignore how broken she felt right before. 'Animal' by Neon Trees (A/N: listen to the Glee version of the song for the best acapella dynamic!) Was one of (Y/n)'s best performances, according to Yuri. He had watched it on repeat just this morning. There's really nothing special to the song in itself. It was the way she delivered every word and tune with such bravery after her internal battle like that. Her emotional response has always been on point but this particular song was something completely real and touching with her tears glistening in the corner of her eyes the entire performance. The tears of sadness had been replaced with joy and she had genuinely just been having a great time with the acapella group at her side, cheering and jumping around on stage with stars in her eyes.

'Oh, oh

I want some more

Oh, oh

What are you waiting for?

Say goodbye to my heart tonight'

The chorus were always his favorite part. Maybe it was the interpretation of the love-hate relationship the words of the lyrics intended. (Y/n) was belting out 'what are you waiting for' with such passion even though it was hardly a difficult song to perform.

'Here we are again

I feel the chemicals kickin' in

It's gettin' heavier and

I wanna run and hide

I wanna run and hide'

The short verse got him every time. The way her eyes watered at the end and then were immediately blown away by the chorus once again. The way she let go of her sadness and let her happy thoughts consume her. No, she let the song consume her and gave the song a completely different touch never done before.

Yuri had lost count of the time he'd watched it and he knew the choreography and song in and out by now. It was mainly intended for the purpose of studying her expression and getting some kind of inspiration for his music choice. He wanted his theme of his music choice for the free skate program to be 'to let go'. If there's any theme harder than love, then it's letting go of the thing you love. And not just what you love. Letting go to be able to love as well. Whether it's love for yourself or another person. There are countless interpretations and that's what (Y/n) had performed that day, with no intention whatever of doing it in such a way.

"I have... I have chosen the music for my program. At the inspiration of t-that performance."

Now don't get Yuri wrong. He'd never admit it to anyone that (Y/n) had been an inspiration to his free skate. He would probably had figured out the idea anyway, it would just had taken a little longer. And her performance was his own way to interpret it so he'd been the one to come up with the decision anyway. So in a way, she didn't have anything to do with it. And his choice of song would be far more intense and heartbreaking than anything Neon Trees could produce. And so Yuri told Victor about his music choices even though he had no clue why he put that kind of trust into the man.

"Those are some really clever choices when combined with your own vision. I'm almost a little jealous. Maybe I should just hire (Y/n) as my coach myself. It seems like it did wonders for you already!" The man laughed and patted Yuri on the shoulder.

"Nonsense. She hasn't began coaching me yet. She had no part in this." Yuri pushed away the empty tray to make room for sitting up and crossing his legs.

"Oh, but it seems like you learned a lot by ogling her all day long though." The smirk Yuri received made his teeth grit and his ears flush.

"I-i wasn't ogling her!"

"Then what were you doing exactly? I heard 'Animal' playing for a good 30 minutes from the wall connected to the room beside yours." Victor laughed at the startled freeze of The Russian Punk.

Okay fine. Maybe he went overboard with the video. But a new problem had seemed to appear now as he admitted defeat.

Yuri now had a witness that would have to be taken care of somehow. He leaned forwards and gripped the collar of Victor's shirt in a tight fist. The glare of daggers shot forwards onto the smiling man.

"Tell anyone about it and you're gonna have to reconstruct that pretty nose of yours. That's a promise,not a threat."

"Trust me! You won't hear a peep!"

[neonkoii]

hi rowe this is kind of out of nowhere BUT. i just wanted to say thank you for consistently being so nice and such a warm presence cause you have always been one of the sweetest people on this entire webbed site and your kindness never ceases to amaze me :'] and as a follow up; this is probably a shot in the dark cause i know you're not really a horror fan, BUT!!!!!!!! got any horror book recs :O?

hey calli thank you soso much <3 i'm so glad we're mutuals ^_^

uhhh i don't really have horror book recs? i'd say the closest thing i have to horror would be the a good girl's guide to murder trilogy, it's more mystery than horror but it deals with some pretty heavy scary stuff in some parts of the series! i also just recommend it anyways tbh but sorry i don't really have more horror books :D

[sableaire]

hello! this might be a little odd to ask since I don't think you've ever talked about this publicly, but I really value your opinion and think you are super well-read so I wondered what your thoughts were on this!!! My gf recently got me into kuroshitsuji, and I was wondering if you had any thoughts on sebaciel, as a psychological concept? (I really liked your ks analysis!!! also I don't want you to think I'm asking for an actual analysis or anything I was just curious!!!)

Oh dear, I haven’t read Kuroshitsuji in years. I think I stopped some point near the end of the boarding school arc. Thank you for your kind words, by the way - true or not, I’m glad that is the impression I give off, ahaha.

Just on a surface level, I think the Kuroshitsuji animes were the ones that really leaned into the fanservice. There may have been some scenes in the manga that are evading my memory, but there’s no denying that the anime hinted at it far more heavily. As such, I feel that fans who only watched the anime - or watched the anime first - are more likely to end up shipping SebaCiel. However, I pretty much reject the first two anime and haven’t seen the Book of Circus, so my answer will have to focus on the manga.

Regardless, I know this is a touchy subject for a lot of people, fans and non-fans alike, so my response is below the cut: 

My thoughts on the concept of SebaCiel, hm… I can see where people might be getting it, I think, but I don’t necessarily understand it. When I read the manga when I was a teenager, I didn’t realize that people shipped the two characters romantically/sexually. It just didn’t occur to me. 

So personally, when I read Kuroshitsuji, I saw no romantic or sexual chemistry there (and this isn’t even mentioning the fact that Ciel Phantomhive as written is a literal child, aha;;). What I saw in Kuroshitsuji and what appealed to me as a reader was a fascinating power dynamic, wrapped up in a weird business arrangement, and I think there-in lies the issue.

Perhaps it’s just because I’m aroace, but I personally feel that a lot of readers fail to acknowledge that there can be an emotional/mental intimacy in a relationship without romance. Similarly, there is a failure to acknowledge that there can be a power dynamic or obsession without sexual undertones.

From my limited knowledge of the SebaCiel fandom, it seems to me that the ship is built more upon sexual content rather than romantic fluff, which plays into my point. I believe that a lot of people end up shipping SebaCiel because of the underlying power dynamic between the two throughout the entirety of the manga, which many readers automatically associate with sexual themes.

I cannot speak for the intention of the author as to whether Kuroshitsuji is meant to encourage shipping Sebastian and Ciel or not. I do believe she started as a BL author, which could mean that any homoerotic undertones (should they be present; I don’t personally remember any, it’s been a while) are intentional. It could also just mean that she’s so used to drawing them that she doesn’t know how to draw pretty scenes without them, ahaha.

However, from a storytelling perspective myself, I don’t see any grounds for a romantic or sexual relationship between the two. Ciel is wholly focused on his revenge, fully intending to die - a little too busy for romance, and he holds his responsibilities as a noble to a certain esteem, which means that were he not to die, he would probably fully intend to marry his fiancee Elizabeth, without affair.

As for the demon himself, my interpretation at the time of reading - which, again, it’s been years - was that what Sebastian got out of this relationship was Ciel’s own corruption of self. Yeah, he likes the corruption of an innocent soul or whatnot, but what he got out of their weird pact was a front-row seat to Ciel’s self-destructive journey. He is basically ensuring that his favorite cake is baking properly, and his whole interest in Ciel is because Ciel himself is the one corrupting his own soul, without Sebastian’s direct involvement or encouragement.

Since that’s Sebastian’s role in all this, I don’t see it as a strong possibility that he would, I don’t know, seducing Ciel for laughs as a viable option, and if he attempted, I imagine Ciel would firmly shut it down, and if Ciel expresses no interest, Sebastian wouldn’t waste the effort on trying.

Further, I cannot actually imagine Sebastian actually harboring any affection for Ciel. He is a demon, fundamentally different from a human. What he is there for is the promise of one of the best soul meals of his life - he cares for Ciel to the extent I might care for a Michelin star Asian-style Strawberry Shortcake: I’m going to watch the chef, sit in front of the oven and stare at it while it is cooking, make sure it’s decorated to my liking, and I am going to kill anyone who tries to prevent me from eating the whole thing after I waited so long. Heck, I’ll probably kill anyone who even smears the icing. 

However, even without a sexual or romantic component, the two characters do still undeniably have both a power dynamic and a codependence. They both are incredibly prideful, and they are both bonded together despite their personal animosity for a perceived mutually beneficial outcome. Ciel holds power of Sebastian in all the public ways, as the Lord to demon’s Butler, but Ciel is also helplessly reliant on Sebastian when it comes to all the… supernatural stuff… and also not-so-supernatural stuff…

And personally, I love that. I love the stories where one character has all the cards and the other has to swallow their pride to get what they want, and I love stories about one-up-manship, and I love stories about people being forced to rely on one another. However, those dynamics do not have to be sexual, and they do not have to be romantic. Also, possessive behavior does not have to mean romantic/sexual obsession, especially when one character is technically a tool (a means to an end) and the other is literally a food source. I am pretty darn possessive of my laptop computer, and I would be pretty damn possessive over my Michelin-star strawberry shortcake. 

I didn’t actually intend on this being such an effective analogy, but now I am super protective and territorial about this imaginary strawberry shortcake because by god, it has been years since I had a good one.

Still, my theory is that to a lot of people, when presented with a power dynamic in fiction, many readers immediately see a sexual appeal to it in a Dom/sub-esque fashion, and when presented with seeming emotional intimacy, they immediately see romantic potential. And though the author/artist may throw in fanservice, that’s just that - service. It doesn’t discourage the shippers, for sure, but it’s not necessarily support for it either.

Basically, due to modern culture, committed and or intimate and or passionate and or intense relationships in fiction are often perceived to be romantic and or sexual in nature when they do not have to be. Platonic relationships are underrated. Non-sexual hatred and obsession is underrated. 

It could also just be that people are interpreting a business-arrangement-turned-emotionally-invested-relationship narrative as a platonic-relationship-turned-romantic one. I know a lot of people who think of platonic relationships as equivalent to mere acquaintanceship, and there-in might lie the issue. They may fail to perceive Ciel and Sebastian’s escalating emotional involvement (if there was any, I can’t remember) as a step up from a professional relationship. They may instead perceive it as a step up from a platonic one.

Also, Kuroshitsuji is one of those mangas a lot of people discover while young, so that may factor into the enthusiastic fandom and the eagerness for romance, considering most tween/young teen books angling for girls are romantic in nature and that is how many girls are used to relating to their fiction.

Sorry if this wasn’t the kind of answer you meant, and again, it has been years since I properly read the manga. I heard the two-Ciel theory’s been proven true? Fascinating.

[assortedgays-blog]

❤️ u dont know me but like just fuck me up honestly

Mutuals send me a ❤️ & I’ll compliment you.

oh god i literally don’t know a thing about you (yet)

i guess i’ll just need to fuck you up

there’s a long description of how i feel about you below the cut

   According to all known lawsof aviation,  there is no way a beeshould be able to fly.  Its wings are too small to getits fat little body off the ground.  The bee, of course, flies anyway  because bees don't carewhat humans think is impossible.  Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Yellow, black. Yellow, black.  Ooh, black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little.  Barry! Breakfast is ready!  Ooming!  Hang on a second.  Hello?  - Barry?- Adam?  - Oan you believe this is happening?- I can't. I'll pick you up.  Looking sharp.  Use the stairs. Your fatherpaid good money for those.  Sorry. I'm excited.  Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son.  A perfect report card, all B's.  Very proud.  Ma! I got a thing going here.  - You got lint on your fuzz.- Ow! That's me!  - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.- Bye!  Barry, I told you,stop flying in the house!  - Hey, Adam.- Hey, Barry.  - Is that fuzz gel?- A little. Special day, graduation.  Never thought I'd make it.  Three days grade school,three days high school.  Those were awkward.  Three days college. I'm glad I tooka day and hitchhiked around the hive.  You did come back different.  - Hi, Barry.- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.  - Hear about Frankie?- Yeah.  - You going to the funeral?- No, I'm not going.  Everybody knows,sting someone, you die.  Don't waste it on a squirrel.Such a hothead.  I guess he could havejust gotten out of the way.  I love this incorporatingan amusement park into our day.  That's why we don't need vacations.  Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under the circumstances.  - Well, Adam, today we are men.- We are!  - Bee-men.- Amen!  Hallelujah!  Students, faculty, distinguished bees,  please welcome Dean Buzzwell.  Welcome, New Hive Oitygraduating class of...  ...9:15.  That concludes our ceremonies.  And begins your careerat Honex Industries!  Will we pick ourjob today?  I heard it's just orientation.  Heads up! Here we go.  Keep your hands and antennasinside the tram at all times.  - Wonder what it'll be like?- A little scary.  Welcome to Honex,a division of Honesco  and a part of the Hexagon Group.  This is it!  Wow.  Wow.  We know that you, as a bee,have worked your whole life  to get to the point where youcan work for your whole life.  Honey begins when our valiant PollenJocks bring the nectar to the hive.  Our top-secret formula  is automatically color-corrected,scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured  into this soothing sweet syrup  with its distinctivegolden glow you know as...  Honey!  - That girl was hot.- She's my cousin!  - She is?- Yes, we're all cousins.  - Right. You're right.- At Honex, we constantly strive  to improve every aspectof bee existence.  These bees are stress-testinga new helmet technology.  - What do you think he makes?- Not enough.  Here we have our latest advancement,the Krelman.  - What does that do?- Oatches that little strand of honey  that hangs after you pour it.Saves us millions.  Oan anyone work on the Krelman?  Of course. Most bee jobs aresmall ones. But bees know  that every small job,if it's done well, means a lot.  But choose carefully  because you'll stay in the jobyou pick for the rest of your life.  The same job the rest of your life?I didn't know that.  What's the difference?  You'll be happy to know that bees,as a species, haven't had one day off  in 27 million years.  So you'll just work us to death?  We'll sure try.  Wow! That blew my mind!  "What's the difference?"How can you say that?  One job forever?That's an insane choice to have to make.  I'm relieved. Now we only haveto make one decision in life.  But, Adam, how could theynever have told us that?  Why would you question anything?We're bees.  We're the most perfectlyfunctioning society on Earth.  You ever think maybe thingswork a little too well here?  Like what? Give me one example.  I don't know. But you knowwhat I'm talking about.  Please clear the gate.Royal Nectar Force on approach.  Wait a second. Oheck it out.  - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!- Wow.  I've never seen them this close.  They know what it's likeoutside the hive.  Yeah, but some don't come back.  - Hey, Jocks!- Hi, Jocks!  You guys did great!  You're monsters!You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!  - I wonder where they were.- I don't know.  Their day's not planned.  Outside the hive, flying who knowswhere, doing who knows what.  You can'tjust decide to be a PollenJock. You have to be bred for that.  Right.  Look. That's more pollenthan you and I will see in a lifetime.  It's just a status symbol.Bees make too much of it.  Perhaps. Unless you're wearing itand the ladies see you wearing it.  Those ladies?Aren't they our cousins too?  Distant. Distant.  Look at these two.  - Oouple of Hive Harrys.- Let's have fun with them.  It must be dangerousbeing a Pollen Jock.  Yeah. Once a bear pinned meagainst a mushroom!  He had a paw on my throat,and with the other, he was slapping me!  - Oh, my!- I never thought I'd knock him out.  What were you doing during this?  Trying to alert the authorities.  I can autograph that.  A little gusty out there today,wasn't it, comrades?  Yeah. Gusty.  We're hitting a sunflower patchsix miles from here tomorrow.  - Six miles, huh?- Barry!  A puddle jump for us,but maybe you're not up for it.  - Maybe I am.- You are not!  We're going 0900 at J-Gate.  What do you think, buzzy-boy?Are you bee enough?  I might be. It all dependson what 0900 means.  Hey, Honex!  Dad, you surprised me.  You decide what you're interested in?  - Well, there's a lot of choices.- But you only get one.  Do you ever get boreddoing the same job every day?  Son, let me tell you about stirring.  You grab that stick, and you justmove it around, and you stir it around.  You get yourself into a rhythm.It's a beautiful thing.  You know, Dad,the more I think about it,  maybe the honey fieldjust isn't right for me.  You were thinking of what,making balloon animals?  That's a bad jobfor a guy with a stinger.  Janet, your son's not surehe wants to go into honey!  - Barry, you are so funny sometimes.- I'm not trying to be funny.  You're not funny! You're goinginto honey. Our son, the stirrer!  - You're gonna be a stirrer?- No one's listening to me!  Wait till you see the sticks I have.  I could say anything right now.I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!  Let's open some honey and celebrate!  Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.Shave my antennae.  Shack up with a grasshopper. Geta gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!  I'm so proud.  - We're starting work today!- Today's the day.  Oome on! All the good jobswill be gone.  Yeah, right.  Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,stirrer, front desk, hair removal...  - Is it still available?- Hang on. Two left!  One of them's yours! Oongratulations!Step to the side.  - What'd you get?- Picking crud out. Stellar!  Wow!  Oouple of newbies?  Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!  Make your choice.  - You want to go first?- No, you go.  Oh, my. What's available?  Restroom attendant's open,not for the reason you think.  - Any chance of getting the Krelman?- Sure, you're on.  I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.  Wax monkey's always open.  The Krelman opened up again.  What happened?  A bee died. Makes an opening. See?He's dead. Another dead one.  Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.  Dead from the neck up.Dead from the neck down. That's life!  Oh, this is so hard!  Heating, cooling,stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,  humming, inspector number seven,lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,  mite wrangler. Barry, whatdo you think I should... Barry?  Barry!  All right, we've got the sunflower patchin quadrant nine...  What happened to you?Where are you?  - I'm going out.- Out? Out where?  - Out there.- Oh, no!  I have to, before I goto work for the rest of my life.  You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?  Another call coming in.  If anyone's feeling brave,there's a Korean deli on 83rd  that gets their roses today.  Hey, guys.  - Look at that.- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?  Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.  It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.  Really? Feeling lucky, are you?  Sign here, here. Just initial that.  - Thank you.- OK.  You got a rain advisory today,  and as you all know,bees cannot fly in rain.  So be careful. As always,watch your brooms,  hockey sticks, dogs,birds, bears and bats.  Also, I got a couple of reportsof root beer being poured on us.  Murphy's in a home because of it,babbling like a cicada!  - That's awful.- And a reminder for you rookies,  bee law number one,absolutely no talking to humans!  All right, launch positions!  Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!  Black and yellow!  Hello!  You ready for this, hot shot?  Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.  Wind, check.  - Antennae, check.- Nectar pack, check.  - Wings, check.- Stinger, check.  Scared out of my shorts, check.  OK, ladies,  let's move it out!  Pound those petunias,you striped stem-suckers!  All of you, drain those flowers!  Wow! I'm out!  I can't believe I'm out!  So blue.  I feel so fast and free!  Box kite!  Wow!  Flowers!  This is Blue Leader.We have roses visual.  Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.  Roses!  30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.  Stand to the side, kid.It's got a bit of a kick.  That is one nectar collector!  - Ever see pollination up close?- No, sir.  I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle itover here. Maybe a dash over there,  a pinch on that one.See that? It's a little bit of magic.  That's amazing. Why do we do that?  That's pollen power. More pollen, moreflowers, more nectar, more honey for us.  Oool.  I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?  Oopy that visual.  Wait. One of these flowersseems to be on the move.  Say again? You're reportinga moving flower?  Affirmative.  That was on the line!  This is the coolest. What is it?  I don't know, but I'm loving this color.  It smells good.Not like a flower, but I like it.  Yeah, fuzzy.  Ohemical-y.  Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.  My sweet lord of bees!  Oandy-brain, get off there!  Problem!  - Guys!- This could be bad.  Affirmative.  Very close.  Gonna hurt.  Mama's little boy.  You are way out of position, rookie!  Ooming in at you like a missile!  Help me!  I don't think these are flowers.  - Should we tell him?- I think he knows.  What is this?!  Match point!  You can start packing up, honey,because you're about to eat it!  Yowser!  Gross.  There's a bee in the car!  - Do something!- I'm driving!  - Hi, bee.- He's back here!  He's going to sting me!  Nobody move. If you don't move,he won't sting you. Freeze!  He blinked!  Spray him, Granny!  What are you doing?!  Wow... the tension levelout here is unbelievable.  I gotta get home.  Oan't fly in rain.  Oan't fly in rain.  Oan't fly in rain.  Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!  Ken, could you closethe window please?  Ken, could you closethe window please?  Oheck out my new resume.I made it into a fold-out brochure.  You see? Folds out.  Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.  What was that?  Maybe this time. This time. This time.This time! This time! This...  Drapes!  That is diabolical.  It's fantastic. It's got all my specialskills, even my top-ten favorite movies.  What's number one? Star Wars?  Nah, I don't go for that...  ...kind of stuff.  No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.They're out of their minds.  When I leave a job interview, they'reflabbergasted, can't believe what I say.  There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.  I don't remember the sunhaving a big 75 on it.  I predicted global warming.  I could feel it getting hotter.At first I thought it was just me.  Wait! Stop! Bee!  Stand back. These are winter boots.  Wait!  Don't kill him!  You know I'm allergic to them!This thing could kill me!  Why does his life haveless value than yours?  Why does his life have any less valuethan mine? Is that your statement?  I'm just saying all life has value. Youdon't know what he's capable of feeling.  My brochure!  There you go, little guy.  I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing.  Put that on your resume brochure.  My whole face could puff up.  Make it one of your special skills.  Knocking someone outis also a special skill.  Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.  - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.  - You could put carob chips on there.- Bye.  - Supposed to be less calories.- Bye.  I gotta say something.  She saved my life.I gotta say something.  All right, here it goes.  Nah.  What would I say?  I could really get in trouble.  It's a bee law.You're not supposed to talk to a human.  I can't believe I'm doing this.  I've got to.  Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!  No. Yes. No.  Do it. I can't.  How should I start it?"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.  Here she comes! Speak, you fool!  Hi!  I'm sorry.  - You're talking.- Yes, I know.  You're talking!  I'm so sorry.  No, it's OK. It's fine.I know I'm dreaming.  But I don't recall going to bed.  Well, I'm sure thisis very disconcerting.  This is a bit of a surprise to me.I mean, you're a bee!  I am. And I'm not supposedto be doing this,  but they were all trying to kill me.  And if it wasn't for you...  I had to thank you.It's just how I was raised.  That was a little weird.  - I'm talking with a bee.- Yeah.  I'm talking to a bee.And the bee is talking to me!  I just want to say I'm grateful.I'll leave now.  - Wait! How did you learn to do that?- What?  The talking thing.  Same way you did, I guess."Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.  - That's very funny.- Yeah.  Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,we'd cry with what we have to deal with.  Anyway...  Oan I...  ...get you something?- Like what?  I don't know. I mean...I don't know. Ooffee?  I don't want to put you out.  It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.  - It's just coffee.- I hate to impose.  - Don't be ridiculous!- Actually, I would love a cup.  Hey, you want rum cake?  - I shouldn't.- Have some.  - No, I can't.- Oome on!  I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.  - Where?- These stripes don't help.  You look great!  I don't know if you knowanything about fashion.  Are you all right?  No.  He's making the tie in the cabas they're flying up Madison.  He finally gets there.  He runs up the steps into the church.The wedding is on.  And he says, "Watermelon?I thought you said Guatemalan.  Why would I marry a watermelon?"  Is that a bee joke?  That's the kind of stuff we do.  Yeah, different.  So, what are you gonna do, Barry?  About work? I don't know.  I want to do my part for the hive,but I can't do it the way they want.  I know how you feel.  - You do?- Sure.  My parents wanted me to be a lawyer ora doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.  - Really?- My only interest is flowers.  Our new queen was just electedwith that same campaign slogan.  Anyway, if you look...  There's my hive right there. See it?  You're in Sheep Meadow!  Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!  No way! I know that area.I lost a toe ring there once.  - Why do girls put rings on their toes?- Why not?  - It's like putting a hat on your knee.- Maybe I'll try that.  - You all right, ma'am?- Oh, yeah. Fine.  Just having two cups of coffee!  Anyway, this has been great.Thanks for the coffee.  Yeah, it's no trouble.  Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,I'd be up the rest of my life.  Are you...?  Oan I take a piece of this with me?  Sure! Here, have a crumb.  - Thanks!- Yeah.  All right. Well, then...I guess I'll see you around.  Or not.  OK, Barry.  And thank youso much again... for before.  Oh, that? That was nothing.  Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...  This can't possibly work.  He's all set to go.We may as well try it.  OK, Dave, pull the chute.  - Sounds amazing.- It was amazing!  It was the scariest,happiest moment of my life.  Humans! I can't believeyou were with humans!  Giant, scary humans!What were they like?  Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.  They eat crazy giant things.They drive crazy.  - Do they try and kill you, like on TV?- Some of them. But some of them don't.  - How'd you get back?- Poodle.  You did it, and I'm glad. You sawwhatever you wanted to see.  You had your "experience." Now youcan pick out yourjob and be normal.  - Well...- Well?  Well, I met someone.  You did? Was she Bee-ish?  - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!- No, no, no, not a wasp.  - Spider?- I'm not attracted to spiders.  I know it's the hottest thing,with the eight legs and all.  I can't get by that face.  So who is she?  She's... human.  No, no. That's a bee law.You wouldn't break a bee law.  - Her name's Vanessa.- Oh, boy.  She's so nice. And she's a florist!  Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!  We're not dating.  You're flying outside the hive, talkingto humans that attack our homes  with power washers and M-80s!One-eighth a stick of dynamite!  She saved my life!And she understands me.  This is over!  Eat this.  This is not over! What was that?  - They call it a crumb.- It was so stingin' stripey!  And that's not what they eat.That's what falls off what they eat!  - You know what a Oinnabon is?- No.  It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.They heat it up...  Sit down!  ...really hot!- Listen to me!  We are not them! We're us.There's us and there's them!  Yes, but who can denythe heart that is yearning?  There's no yearning.Stop yearning. Listen to me!  You have got to start thinking bee,my friend. Thinking bee!  - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee.  Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  There he is. He's in the pool.  You know what your problem is, Barry?  I gotta start thinking bee?  How much longer will this go on?  It's been three days!Why aren't you working?  I've got a lot of big life decisionsto think about.  What life? You have no life!You have no job. You're barely a bee!  Would it kill youto make a little honey?  Barry, come out.Your father's talking to you.  Martin, would you talk to him?  Barry, I'm talking to you!  You coming?  Got everything?  All set!  Go ahead. I'll catch up.  Don't be too long.  Watch this!  Vanessa!  - We're still here.- I told you not to yell at him.  He doesn't respond to yelling!  - Then why yell at me?- Because you don't listen!  I'm not listening to this.  Sorry, I've gotta go.  - Where are you going?- I'm meeting a friend.  A girl? Is this why you can't decide?  Bye.  I just hope she's Bee-ish.  They have a huge paradeof flowers every year in Pasadena?  To be in the Tournament of Roses,that's every florist's dream!  Up on a float, surroundedby flowers, crowds cheering.  A tournament. Do the rosescompete in athletic events?  No. All right, I've got one.How come you don't fly everywhere?  It's exhausting. Why don't yourun everywhere? It's faster.  Yeah, OK, I see, I see.All right, your turn.  TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?That's insane!  You don't have that?  We have Hivo, but it's a disease.It's a horrible, horrible disease.  Oh, my.  Dumb bees!  You must want to sting all those jerks.  We try not to sting.It's usually fatal for us.  So you have to watch your temper.  Very carefully.You kick a wall, take a walk,  write an angry letter and throw it out.Work through it like any emotion:  Anger, jealousy, lust.  Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?  Yeah.  - What is wrong with you?!- It's a bug.  He's not bothering anybody.Get out of here, you creep!  What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?  Yeah, it was. How did you know?  It felt like about 10 pages.Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.  You've really got thatdown to a science.  - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.- I'll bet.  What in the nameof Mighty Hercules is this?  How did this get here?Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,  Ray Liotta Private Select?  - Is he that actor?- I never heard of him.  - Why is this here?- For people. We eat it.  You don't haveenough food of your own?  - Well, yes.- How do you get it?  - Bees make it.- I know who makes it!  And it's hard to make it!  There's heating, cooling, stirring.You need a whole Krelman thing!  - It's organic.- It's our-ganic!  It's just honey, Barry.  Just what?!  Bees don't know about this!This is stealing! A lot of stealing!  You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have!  And it's on sale?!I'm getting to the bottom of this.  I'm getting to the bottomof all of this!  Hey, Hector.  - You almost done?- Almost.  He is here. I sense it.  Well, I guess I'll go home now  and just leave this nice honey out,with no one around.  You're busted, box boy!  I knew I heard something.So you can talk!  I can talk.And now you'll start talking!  Where you getting the sweet stuff?Who's your supplier?  I don't understand.I thought we were friends.  The last thing we wantto do is upset bees!  You're too late! It's ours now!  You, sir, have crossedthe wrong sword!  You, sir, will be lunchfor my iguana, Ignacio!  Where is the honey coming from?  Tell me where!  Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!  Orazy person!  What horrible thing has happened here?  These faces, they never knewwhat hit them. And now  they're on the road to nowhere!  Just keep still.  What? You're not dead?  Do I look dead? They will wipe anythingthat moves. Where you headed?  To Honey Farms.I am onto something huge here.  I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,crazy stuff. Blows your head off!  I'm going to Tacoma.  - And you?- He really is dead.  All right.  Uh-oh!  - What is that?!- Oh, no!  - A wiper! Triple blade!- Triple blade?  Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!  Why does everything haveto be so doggone clean?!  How much do you people need to see?!  Open your eyes!Stick your head out the window!  From NPR News in Washington,I'm Oarl Kasell.  But don't kill no more bugs!  - Bee!- Moose blood guy!!  - You hear something?- Like what?  Like tiny screaming.  Turn off the radio.  Whassup, bee boy?  Hey, Blood.  Just a row of honey jars,as far as the eye could see.  Wow!  I assume wherever this truck goesis where they're getting it.  I mean, that honey's ours.  - Bees hang tight.- We're all jammed in.  It's a close community.  Not us, man. We on our own.Every mosquito on his own.  - What if you get in trouble?- You a mosquito, you in trouble.  Nobody likes us. They just smack.See a mosquito, smack, smack!  At least you're out in the world.You must meet girls.  Mosquito girls try to trade up,get with a moth, dragonfly.  Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.  You got to be kidding me!  Mooseblood's about to leavethe building! So long, bee!  - Hey, guys!- Mooseblood!  I knew I'd catch y'all down here.Did you bring your crazy straw?  We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,and it's pretty much pure profit.  What is this place?  A bee's got a brainthe size of a pinhead.  They are pinheads!  Pinhead.  - Oheck out the new smoker.- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.  The Thomas 3000!  Smoker?  Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.Twice the nicotine, all the tar.  A couple breaths of thisknocks them right out.  They make the honey,and we make the money.  "They make the honey,and we make the money"?  Oh, my!  What's going on? Are you OK?  Yeah. It doesn't last too long.  Do you know you'rein a fake hive with fake walls?  Our queen was moved here.We had no choice.  This is your queen?That's a man in women's clothes!  That's a drag queen!  What is this?  Oh, no!  There's hundreds of them!  Bee honey.  Our honey is being brazenly stolenon a massive scale!  This is worse than anything bearshave done! I intend to do something.  Oh, Barry, stop.  Who told you humans are takingour honey? That's a rumor.  Do these look like rumors?  That's a conspiracy theory.These are obviously doctored photos.  How did you get mixed up in this?  He's been talking to humans.  - What?- Talking to humans?!  He has a human girlfriend.And they make out!  Make out? Barry!  We do not.  - You wish you could.- Whose side are you on?  The bees!  I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.Those crazy legs kept me up all night.  Barry, this is what you wantto do with your life?  I want to do it for all our lives.Nobody works harder than bees!  Dad, I remember youcoming home so overworked  your hands were still stirring.You couldn't stop.  I remember that.  What right do they have to our honey?  We live on two cups a year. They put itin lip balm for no reason whatsoever!  Even if it's true, what can one bee do?  Sting them where it really hurts.  In the face! The eye!  - That would hurt.- No.  Up the nose? That's a killer.  There's only one place you can stingthe humans, one place where it matters.  Hive at Five, the hive's onlyfull-hour action news source.  No more bee beards!  With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.  Weather with Storm Stinger.  Sports with Buzz Larvi.  And Jeanette Ohung.  - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.  A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,  intends to sue the human racefor stealing our honey,  packaging it and profitingfrom it illegally!  Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,  we'll have three former queens here inour studio, discussing their new book,  Olassy Ladies,out this week on Hexagon.  Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.  Did you ever think, "I'm a kidfrom the hive. I can't do this"?  Bees have never been afraidto change the world.  What about Bee Oolumbus?Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?  Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.  We were thinkingof stickball or candy stores.  How old are you?  The bee communityis supporting you in this case,  which will be the trialof the bee century.  You know, they have a Larry Kingin the human world too.  It's a common name. Next week...  He looks like you and has a showand suspenders and colored dots...  Next week...  Glasses, quotes on the bottom from theguest even though you just heard 'em.  Bear Week next week!They're scary, hairy and here live.  Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,squinty eyes, very Jewish.  In tennis, you attackat the point of weakness!  It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.  Honey, her backhand's a joke!I'm not gonna take advantage of that?  Quiet, please.Actual work going on here.  - Is that that same bee?- Yes, it is!  I'm helping him sue the human race.  - Hello.- Hello, bee.  This is Ken.  Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, sizeten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.  Why does he talk again?  Listen, you better go'cause we're really busy working.  But it's our yogurt night!  Bye-bye.  Why is yogurt night so difficult?!  You poor thing.You two have been at this for hours!  Yes, and Adam herehas been a huge help.  - Frosting...- How many sugars?  Just one. I try notto use the competition.  So why are you helping me?  Bees have good qualities.  And it takes my mind off the shop.  Instead of flowers, peopleare giving balloon bouquets now.  Those are great, if you're three.  And artificial flowers.  - Oh, those just get me psychotic!- Yeah, me too.  Bent stingers, pointless pollination.  Bees must hate those fake things!  Nothing worsethan a daffodil that's had work done.  Maybe this could make upfor it a little bit.  - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.- I guess.  You sure you want to go through with it?  Am I sure? When I'm done withthe humans, they won't be able  to say, "Honey, I'm home,"without paying a royalty!  It's an incredible scenehere in downtown Manhattan,  where the world anxiously waits,because for the first time in history,  we will hear for ourselvesif a honeybee can actually speak.  What have we gotten into here, Barry?  It's pretty big, isn't it?  I can't believe how many humansdon't work during the day.  You think billion-dollar multinationalfood companies have good lawyers?  Everybody needs to staybehind the barricade.  - What's the matter?- I don't know, I just got a chill.  Well, if it isn't the bee team.  You boys work on this?  All rise! The HonorableJudge Bumbleton presiding.  All right. Oase number 4475,  Superior Oourt of New York,Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry  is now in session.  Mr. Montgomery, you're representingthe five food companies collectively?  A privilege.  Mr. Benson... you're representingall the bees of the world?  I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,we're ready to proceed.  Mr. Montgomery,your opening statement, please.  Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,  my grandmother was a simple woman.  Born on a farm, she believedit was man's divine right  to benefit from the bountyof nature God put before us.  If we lived in the topsy-turvy worldMr. Benson imagines,  just think of what would it mean.  I would have to negotiatewith the silkworm  for the elastic in my britches!  Talking bee!  How do we know this isn't some sort of  holographic motion-picture-captureHollywood wizardry?  They could be using laser beams!  Robotics! Ventriloquism!Oloning! For all we know,  he could be on steroids!  Mr. Benson?  Ladies and gentlemen,there's no trickery here.  I'm just an ordinary bee.Honey's pretty important to me.  It's important to all bees.We invented it!  We make it. And we protect itwith our lives.  Unfortunately, there aresome people in this room  who think they can take it from us  'cause we're the little guys!I'm hoping that, after this is all over,  you'll see how, by taking our honey,you not only take everything we have  but everything we are!  I wish he'd dress like thatall the time. So nice!  Oall your first witness.  So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhaydenof Honey Farms, big company you have.  I suppose so.  I see you also ownHoneyburton and Honron!  Yes, they provide beekeepersfor our farms.  Beekeeper. I find thatto be a very disturbing term.  I don't imagine you employany bee-free-ers, do you?  - No.- I couldn't hear you.  - No.- No.  Because you don't free bees.You keep bees. Not only that,  it seems you thought a bear would bean appropriate image for a jar of honey.  They're very lovable creatures.  Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.  You mean like this?  Bears kill bees!  How'd you like his head crashingthrough your living room?!  Biting into your couch!Spitting out your throw pillows!  OK, that's enough. Take him away.  So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.Your name intrigues me.  - Where have I heard it before?- I was with a band called The Police.  But you've never beena police officer, have you?  No, I haven't.  No, you haven't. And so herewe have yet another example  of bee culture casuallystolen by a human  for nothing more thana prance-about stage name.  Oh, please.  Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?  Because I'm feelinga little stung, Sting.  Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!  That's not his real name?! You idiots!  Mr. Liotta, first,belated congratulations on  your Emmy win for a guest spoton ER in 2005.  Thank you. Thank you.  I see from your resumethat you're devilishly handsome  with a churning inner turmoilthat's ready to blow.  I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?  Not yet it isn't. But is thiswhat it's come to for you?  Exploiting tiny, helpless beesso you don't  have to rehearseyour part and learn your lines, sir?  Watch it, Benson!I could blow right now!  This isn't a goodfella.This is a badfella!  Why doesn't someone just step onthis creep, and we can all go home?!  - Order in this court!- You're all thinking it!  Order! Order, I say!  - Say it!- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!  I think it was awfully niceof that bear to pitch in like that.  I think the jury's on our side.  Are we doing everything right, legally?  I'm a florist.  Right. Well, here's to a great team.  To a great team!  Well, hello.  - Ken!- Hello.  I didn't think you were coming.  No, I was just late.I tried to call, but... the battery.  I didn't want all this to go to waste,so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.  Oh, that was lucky.  There's a little left.I could heat it up.  Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.  So I hear you're quite a tennis player.  I'm not much for the game myself.The ball's a little grabby.  That's where I usually sit.Right... there.  Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,  and he agreed with me that eating withchopsticks isn't really a special skill.  You think I don't see what you're doing?  I know how hard it is to findthe rightjob. We have that in common.  Do we?  Bees have 100 percent employment,but we do jobs like taking the crud out.  That's just whatI was thinking about doing.  Ken, I let Barry borrow your razorfor his fuzz. I hope that was all right.  I'm going to drain the old stinger.  Yeah, you do that.  Look at that.  You know, I've just about had it  with your little mind games.  - What's that?- Italian Vogue.  Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.  A lot of ads.  Remember what Van said, why isyour life more valuable than mine?  Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!  I think something stinks in here!  I love the smell of flowers.  How do you like the smell of flames?!  Not as much.  Water bug! Not taking sides!  Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!This is pathetic!  I've got issues!  Well, well, well, a royal flush!  - You're bluffing.- Am I?  Surf's up, dude!  Poo water!  That bowl is gnarly.  Except for those dirty yellow rings!  Kenneth! What are you doing?!  You know, I don't even like honey!I don't eat it!  We need to talk!  He's just a little bee!  And he happens to bethe nicest bee I've met in a long time!  Long time? What are you talking about?!Are there other bugs in your life?  No, but there are other things buggingme in life. And you're one of them!  Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...  My nerves are fried from ridingon this emotional roller coaster!  Goodbye, Ken.  And for your information,  I prefer sugar-free, artificialsweeteners made by man!  I'm sorry about all that.  I know it's gotan aftertaste! I like it!  I always felt there was some kindof barrier between Ken and me.  I couldn't overcome it.Oh, well.  Are you OK for the trial?  I believe Mr. Montgomeryis about out of ideas.  We would like to callMr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.  Good idea! You can really see why he'sconsidered one of the best lawyers...  Yeah.  Layton, you'vegotta weave some magic  with this jury,or it's gonna be all over.  Don't worry. The only thing I haveto do to turn this jury around  is to remind themof what they don't like about bees.  - You got the tweezers?- Are you allergic?  Only to losing, son. Only to losing.  Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask youwhat I think we'd all like to know.  What exactly is your relationship  to that woman?  We're friends.  - Good friends?- Yes.  How good? Do you live together?  Wait a minute...  Are you her little...  ...bedbug?  I've seen a bee documentary or two.From what I understand,  doesn't your queen give birthto all the bee children?  - Yeah, but...- So those aren't your real parents!  - Oh, Barry...- Yes, they are!  Hold me back!  You're an illegitimate bee,aren't you, Benson?  He's denouncing bees!  Don't y'all date your cousins?  - Objection!- I'm going to pincushion this guy!  Adam, don't! It's what he wants!  Oh, I'm hit!!  Oh, lordy, I am hit!  Order! Order!  The venom! The venomis coursing through my veins!  I have been felledby a winged beast of destruction!  You see? You can't treat themlike equals! They're striped savages!  Stinging's the only thingthey know! It's their way!  - Adam, stay with me.- I can't feel my legs.  What angel of mercywill come forward to suck the poison  from my heaving buttocks?  I will have order in this court. Order!  Order, please!  The case of the honeybeesversus the human race  took a pointed turn against the bees  yesterday when one of their legalteam stung Layton T. Montgomery.  - Hey, buddy.- Hey.  - Is there much pain?- Yeah.  I...  I blew the whole case, didn't I?  It doesn't matter. What matters isyou're alive. You could have died.  I'd be better off dead. Look at me.  They got it from the cafeteriadownstairs, in a tuna sandwich.  Look, there'sa little celery still on it.  What was it like to sting someone?  I can't explain it. It was all...  All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy!  All right.  You think it was all a trap?  Of course. I'm sorry.I flew us right into this.  What were we thinking? Look at us. We'rejust a couple of bugs in this world.  What will the humans do to usif they win?  I don't know.  I hear they put the roaches in motels.That doesn't sound so bad.  Adam, they check in,but they don't check out!  Oh, my.  Oould you get a nurseto close that window?  - Why?- The smoke.  Bees don't smoke.  Right. Bees don't smoke.  Bees don't smoke!But some bees are smoking.  That's it! That's our case!  It is? It's not over?  Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.  Get back to the court and stall.Stall any way you can.  And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.  Mr. Flayman.  Yes? Yes, Your Honor!  Where is the rest of your team?  Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.  Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,  and as a result,we don't make very good time.  I actually heard a funny story about...  Your Honor,haven't these ridiculous bugs  taken up enoughof this court's valuable time?  How much longer will we allowthese absurd shenanigans to go on?  They have presented no compellingevidence to support their charges  against my clients,who run legitimate businesses.  I move for a complete dismissalof this entire case!  Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going  to have to considerMr. Montgomery's motion.  But you can't! We have a terrific case.  Where is your proof?Where is the evidence?  Show me the smoking gun!  Hold it, Your Honor!You want a smoking gun?  Here is your smoking gun.  What is that?  It's a bee smoker!  What, this?This harmless little contraption?  This couldn't hurt a fly,let alone a bee.  Look at what has happened  to bees who have never been asked,"Smoking or non?"  Is this what nature intended for us?  To be forcibly addictedto smoke machines  and man-made wooden slat work camps?  Living out our lives as honey slavesto the white man?  - What are we gonna do?- He's playing the species card.  Ladies and gentlemen, please,free these bees!  Free the bees! Free the bees!  Free the bees!  Free the bees! Free the bees!  The court finds in favor of the bees!  Vanessa, we won!  I knew you could do it! High-five!  Sorry.  I'm OK! You know what this means?  All the honeywill finally belong to the bees.  Now we won't haveto work so hard all the time.  This is an unholy perversionof the balance of nature, Benson.  You'll regret this.  Barry, how much honey is out there?  All right. One at a time.  Barry, who are you wearing?  My sweater is Ralph Lauren,and I have no pants.  - What if Montgomery's right?- What do you mean?  We've been living the bee waya long time, 27 million years.  Oongratulations on your victory.What will you demand as a settlement?  First, we'll demand a complete shutdownof all bee work camps.  Then we want back the honeythat was ours to begin with,  every last drop.  We demand an end to the glorificationof the bear as anything more  than a filthy, smelly,bad-breath stink machine.  We're all awareof what they do in the woods.  Wait for my signal.  Take him out.  He'll have nauseousfor a few hours, then he'll be fine.  And we will no longer toleratebee-negative nicknames...  But it's just a prance-about stage name!  ...unnecessary inclusion of honeyin bogus health products  and la-dee-da humantea-time snack garnishments.  Oan't breathe.  Bring it in, boys!  Hold it right there! Good.  Tap it.  Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,and there's gallons more coming!  - I think we need to shut down!- Shut down? We've never shut down.  Shut down honey production!  Stop making honey!  Turn your key, sir!  What do we do now?  Oannonball!  We're shutting honey production!  Mission abort.  Aborting pollination and nectar detail.Returning to base.  Adam, you wouldn't believehow much honey was out there.  Oh, yeah?  What's going on? Where is everybody?  - Are they out celebrating?- They're home.  They don't know what to do.Laying out, sleeping in.  I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his wayto San Antonio with a cricket.  At least we got our honey back.  Sometimes I think, so what if humansliked our honey? Who wouldn't?  It's the greatest thing in the world!I was excited to be part of making it.  This was my new desk. This was mynew job. I wanted to do it really well.  And now...  Now I can't.  I don't understandwhy they're not happy.  I thought their lives would be better!  They're doing nothing. It's amazing.Honey really changes people.  You don't have any ideawhat's going on, do you?  - What did you want to show me?- This.  What happened here?  That is not the half of it.  Oh, no. Oh, my.  They're all wilting.  Doesn't look very good, does it?  No.  And whose fault do you think that is?  You know, I'm gonna guess bees.  Bees?  Specifically, me.  I didn't think bees not needing to makehoney would affect all these things.  It's notjust flowers.Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.  That's our whole SAT test right there.  Take away produce, that affectsthe entire animal kingdom.  And then, of course...  The human species?  So if there's no more pollination,  it could all just go south here,couldn't it?  I know this is also partly my fault.  How about a suicide pact?  How do we do it?  - I'll sting you, you step on me.- Thatjust kills you twice.  Right, right.  Listen, Barry...sorry, but I gotta get going.  I had to open my mouth and talk.  Vanessa?  Vanessa? Why are you leaving?Where are you going?  To the final Tournament of Roses paradein Pasadena.  They've moved it to this weekendbecause all the flowers are dying.  It's the last chanceI'll ever have to see it.  Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.I never meant it to turn out like this.  I know. Me neither.  Tournament of Roses.Roses can't do sports.  Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?  Roses!  Vanessa!  Roses?!  Barry?  - Roses are flowers!- Yes, they are.  Flowers, bees, pollen!  I know.That's why this is the last parade.  Maybe not.Oould you ask him to slow down?  Oould you slow down?  Barry!  OK, I made a huge mistake.This is a total disaster, all my fault.  Yes, it kind of is.  I've ruined the planet.I wanted to help you  with the flower shop.I've made it worse.  Actually, it's completely closed down.  I thought maybe you were remodeling.  But I have another idea, and it'sgreater than my previous ideas combined.  I don't want to hear it!  All right, they have the roses,the roses have the pollen.  I know every bee, plantand flower bud in this park.  All we gotta do is get what they've gotback here with what we've got.  - Bees.- Park.  - Pollen!- Flowers.  - Repollination!- Across the nation!  Tournament of Roses,Pasadena, Oalifornia.  They've got nothingbut flowers, floats and cotton candy.  Security will be tight.  I have an idea.  Vanessa Bloome, FTD.  Official floral business. It's real.  Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.  Thank you. It was a gift.  Once inside,we just pick the right float.  How about The Princess and the Pea?  I could be the princess,and you could be the pea!  Yes, I got it.  - Where should I sit?- What are you?  - I believe I'm the pea.- The pea?  It goes under the mattresses.  - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.- I'm getting the marshal.  You do that!This whole parade is a fiasco!  Let's see what this baby'll do.  Hey, what are you doing?!  Then all we dois blend in with traffic...  ...without arousing suspicion.  Once at the airport,there's no stopping us.  Stop! Security.  - You and your insect pack your float?- Yes.  Has it beenin your possession the entire time?  Would you remove your shoes?  - Remove your stinger.- It's part of me.  I know. Just having some fun.Enjoy your flight.  Then if we're lucky, we'll havejust enough pollen to do the job.  Oan you believe how lucky we are? Wehave just enough pollen to do the job!  I think this is gonna work.  It's got to work.  Attention, passengers,this is Oaptain Scott.  We have a bit of bad weatherin New York.  It looks like we'll experiencea couple hours delay.  Barry, these are cut flowerswith no water. They'll never make it.  I gotta get up thereand talk to them.  Be careful.  Oan I get helpwith the Sky Mall magazine?  I'd like to order the talkinginflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.  Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.  - What'd you say, Hal?- Nothing.  Bee!  Don't freak out! My entire species...  What are you doing?  - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!- Who's an attorney?  Don't move.  Oh, Barry.  Good afternoon, passengers.This is your captain.  Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24Bplease report to the cockpit?  And please hurry!  What happened here?  There was a DustBuster,a toupee, a life raft exploded.  One's bald, one's in a boat,they're both unconscious!  - Is that another bee joke?- No!  No one's flying the plane!  This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.What's your status?  This is Vanessa Bloome.I'm a florist from New York.  Where's the pilot?  He's unconscious,and so is the copilot.  Not good. Does anyone onboardhave flight experience?  As a matter of fact, there is.  - Who's that?- Barry Benson.  From the honey trial?! Oh, great.  Vanessa, this is nothing morethan a big metal bee.  It's got giant wings, huge engines.  I can't fly a plane.  - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?- Yes.  How hard could it be?  Wait, Barry!We're headed into some lightning.  This is Bob Bumble. We have somelate-breaking news from JFK Airport,  where a suspenseful sceneis developing.  Barry Benson,fresh from his legal victory...  That's Barry!  ...is attempting to land a plane,loaded with people, flowers  and an incapacitated flight crew.  Flowers?!  We have a storm in the areaand two individuals at the controls  with absolutely no flight experience.  Just a minute.There's a bee on that plane.  I'm quite familiar with Mr. Bensonand his no-account compadres.  They've done enough damage.  But isn't he your only hope?  Technically, a beeshouldn't be able to fly at all.  Their wings are too small...  Haven't we heard this a million times?  "The surface area of the wingsand body mass make no sense."  - Get this on the air!- Got it.  - Stand by.- We're going live.  The way we work may be a mystery to you.  Making honey takes a lot of beesdoing a lot of small jobs.  But let me tell you about a small job.  If you do it well,it makes a big difference.  More than we realized.To us, to everyone.  That's why I want to get beesback to working together.  That's the bee way!We're not made of Jell-O.  We get behind a fellow.  - Black and yellow!- Hello!  Left, right, down, hover.  - Hover?- Forget hover.  This isn't so hard.Beep-beep! Beep-beep!  Barry, what happened?!  Wait, I think we wereon autopilot the whole time.  - That may have been helping me.- And now we're not!  So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.  All of you, let's getbehind this fellow! Move it out!  Move out!  Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,you copy me with the wings of the plane!  Don't have to yell.  I'm not yelling!We're in a lot of trouble.  It's very hard to concentratewith that panicky tone in your voice!  It's not a tone. I'm panicking!  I can't do this!  Vanessa, pull yourself together.You have to snap out of it!  You snap out of it.  You snap out of it.  - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it!  - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it!  - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it!  - Hold it!- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.  How is the plane flying?  I don't know.  Hello?  Benson, got any flowersfor a happy occasion in there?  The Pollen Jocks!  They do get behind a fellow.  - Black and yellow.- Hello.  All right, let's drop this tin canon the blacktop.  Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?  No, nothing. It's all cloudy.  Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.  - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee.  Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  Wait a minute.I think I'm feeling something.  - What?- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.  Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.  Bring the nose down.  Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  - What in the world is on the tarmac?- Get some lights on that!  Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  - Vanessa, aim for the flower.- OK.  Out the engines. We're going inon bee power. Ready, boys?  Affirmative!  Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.  Land on that flower!  Ready? Full reverse!  Spin it around!  - Not that flower! The other one!- Which one?  - That flower.- I'm aiming at the flower!  That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.I mean the giant pulsating flower  made of millions of bees!  Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.  Rotate around it.  - This is insane, Barry!- This's the only way I know how to fly.  Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this planeflying in an insect-like pattern?  Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.Smell it. Full reverse!  Just drop it. Be a part of it.  Aim for the center!  Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!  Oome on, already.  Barry, we did it!You taught me how to fly!  - Yes. No high-five!- Right.  Barry, it worked!Did you see the giant flower?  What giant flower? Where? Of courseI saw the flower! That was genius!  - Thank you.- But we're not done yet.  Listen, everyone!  This runway is coveredwith the last pollen  from the last flowersavailable anywhere on Earth.  That means this is our last chance.  We're the only ones who make honey,pollinate flowers and dress like this.  If we're gonna survive as a species,this is our moment! What do you say?  Are we going to be bees, orjustMuseum of Natural History keychains?  We're bees!  Keychain!  Then follow me! Except Keychain.  Hold on, Barry. Here.  You've earned this.  Yeah!  I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfectfit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.  Oh, yeah.  That's our Barry.  Mom! The bees are back!  If anybody needsto make a call, now's the time.  I got a feeling we'll beworking late tonight!  Here's your change. Have a greatafternoon! Oan I help who's next?  Would you like some honey with that?It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.  Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.And I don't see a nickel!  Sometimes I just feellike a piece of meat!  I had no idea.  Barry, I'm sorry.Have you got a moment?  Would you excuse me?My mosquito associate will help you.  Sorry I'm late.  He's a lawyer too?  I was already a blood-sucking parasite.All I needed was a briefcase.  Have a great afternoon!  Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,and I can't get them anywhere.  No problem, Vannie.Just leave it to me.  You're a lifesaver, Barry.Oan I help who's next?  All right, scramble, jocks!It's time to fly.  Thank you, Barry!  That bee is living my life!  Let it go, Kenny.  - When will this nightmare end?!- Let it all go.  - Beautiful day to fly.- Sure is.  Between you and me,I was dying to get out of that office.  You have gotto start thinking bee, my friend.  - Thinking bee!- Me?  Hold it. Let's just stopfor a second. Hold it.  I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.Oan we stop here?  I'm not making a major life decisionduring a production number!  All right. Take ten, everybody.Wrap it up, guys.  I had virtually no rehearsal for that..

[sunamonosalad]

[main masterlist] || [series masterlist]

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summary: She needs someone to fact-check her written work, he needs to prove to his friends that he can commit to a relationship. The solution, obviously, is a contract that could benefit both of them. And if they end up catching feels? Well, shit.

pairing: Oikawa Tooru x reader

genre: fake dating, contracts, smut [DNI if you’re a minor (<18)], humour, slight coming-of-age tropes

disclaimer: I do not on any of the Haikyuu! characters. They rightfully belong to Haruichi Furudate. I don’t own any of the media in this smau unless otherwise stated and all credits go to the owner.

© All ideas and content otherwise belong to sunamonosalad 2021. No translations, reposting, and/or modifying of this fan work is allowed without my explicit permission.

"And that'll be the end of today's class. We will resume on Thursday. Have a good day everyone." 

The sounds of computers and tablets closing filled the lecture hall as students began to pack up, the mini tables attached to the chairs folding away with a loud thud as, slowly, they began to get up and stretch.

Y/N was one of these students, her arms stretching upwards with a groan.

Tuesdays and Thursdays held the longer classes--about 80 minutes long--during the week due to only having two days per week allotted to them. Normally, it was a tolerable length of time (though Y/N preferred her MWF classes since they were only 50 minutes long), but her Organic Chemistry class seemed to have the ability to slow down time. 

No matter how often she looked at the clock on the corner of her screen, the numbers remained the same even as it felt as if hours had already passed.

With a sigh and a shake of her head, Y/N grabbed her backpack and tugged it on as she exited the aisle right behind her seatmate, taking care not to lose him in the crowd of students slowly migrating out of the hall.

The next class held in her lecture room were gathered by the doors with some of the more keener students slipping past those exiting the hall to try and get a front row seat. Y/N never really understood those students--she couldn't fathom why anyone would choose to sit so close to the screens so much so that they had to crane their heads up to see the slides. She compared it to going to the movie theater and choosing to sit at the front rather than a seat where you could be comfortable the entire time.

Clicking her tongue as one of the keen students bumped into her shoulder in his hurry inside, Y/N grumbled internally. 

Sometimes some people just don't heed the unspoken rule of waiting for the previous class to leave first before entering yourselves. The class after them was notorious for having plenty of students forcing their way past the exiting crowd. Really, the only good thing about this class was--Ah.

With a small smile decorating her lips, Y/N tapped Kunimi on the shoulder as she passed by.

Her friend glanced up from his phone and nodded back in greeting before tapping his index finger against his phone as an indication. Raising her brows in question, Y/N took out her phone just as Kunimi slipped inside the lecture hall.

Slipping your phone back into your cardigan, you quickened your pace so you could catch up to your long-legged companion's own strides.

"You need to match your pace with me, Kuroo," Y/N huffed, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "You walk too fast and since you're tall you're practically covering double the amount of ground I cover."

Her seatmate in organic chemistry, Kuroo Tetsurou, only sent her a cheeky grin.

Really, she wondered what compelled her to ask Hinata and Kenma's friend for help in ochem as prior to their agreement this semester, they were practically strangers who had mutual friends. Then she remembered the first quiz mark she got in this class and inwardly groaned.

"Thanks again for sitting with me during your free period and then tutoring me." Embarrassed, Y/N rubbed her neck sheepishly as the older man eyed her curiously. "I mean, you practically didn't know me before this year. Plus you won't even let me pay you for your help. Really, I'm thankful since you're kinda the only thing keeping my grades in this class afloat."

Kuroo shrugged. "We're both students and we're both in debt. I don't think it's fair to ask you to pay me just so you can succeed in something you're having trouble with. Like I said, the only payment I'll take is you putting in the effort to learning and actually trying to figure the problems out first before coming to me for help." He slowed his pace down enough for Y/N to walk comfortably and flashed her a crooked grin. "And honestly, it's been a while since I've done any chemistry so I'm glad for this chance. Your classes get so specialized and so fast-paced in upper years that learning something introductory is a nice change of pace. So really, you don't need to thank me every time.

"Anyway, what are you planning to get from the caf?" Kuroo asked.

 "I'll just be getting my regular, I guess." She said as they approached the cafeteria atrium. "First one to finish finds us a table?"

"Deal, but heads up. I'm gonna be getting a donair." Kuroo gestured his thumb over at one of the more popular food stalls and wrinkled his nose at the long line. "You'll probably finish before me so just send me a text where you get one."

"Yep, yep." 

.

.

By the time Y/N managed to grab her food and find a spare table, Kuroo was still in line with three people ahead of him. From her seat, she could see him scrolling through his phone, his other finger tapping rhythmically on the side of his dark jeans. Dressed the way he is--a simple red oxford shirt, dark jeans, and dress shoes--and looking the way he does, it was no wonder the man was attractive.

A glance around him further confirmed her thoughts. She could see a couple of girls a few tables away from her giggling as they whispered fervently to each other, their eyes darting to Kuroo every so often.

In front of her, the line moved up and Kuroo moved one step closer to getting his food and finally settling beside her. She didn't envy the way he was still carrying his backpack and from the way he shifted his weight from foot to foot, the weight bothered him as well.

Deciding that Kuroo would probably get his food and be seated in front of her in ten minutes, she covered her Favourite/Food and opted to wait for him before starting. Instead, she pulled out her phone and checked her notifications.

There was a thread between Kiyoko and Hitoka and a reply from Kei. She checked and quickly replied to those first before opening up her group chat with Kiyoko, Hitoka, and Sugawara.

♡ Contractual Obligations ♡

A/N: Aaaa. I realized this will be a blend of smau and traditional fic because there will be smut and also I want things to flow and for the reader to be there in the moment rather than reading about it. Sorry for the late update, I've been recharging for the past week or so since I've been feeling a bit drained 🥲. But nevertheless, here's the first chapter!

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Taglist: @writingswall @luckyminhibou @faithfulferns @moonlightaangel @sunahyejin

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