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outsidersstuff16 · 6 months ago

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Head Canons I have abt them (anon request!)

Order: Ponyboy, Johnny, Dallas, Soda, Darry, Steve, and Two-Bit

there will be ten each

Ponyboy-

Ponyboy seems like the type of person who will read the book before he watches the movie on the book to compare them and show the gang what's different about what.

2. Ponyboy seems like he would struggle to find writing creativity and when it comes to him, he goes into this writing zone and doesn't want to be bothered by anyone for the next 2-3 hours.

3. Ponyboy gives off this feeling that he's nice to everyone as long as they haven't badmouthed the gang or did any of the gang wrong. Like he would stop and help old people across the street because no one else would, You now?

4. I don't think that Ponyboy is a dog or cat guy rather a ferret guy who likes to dress up his fur noodle in things he's crocheted in his free time.

5. I can defiantly see Ponyboy being into what my family calls "grandma hobbies"; things such as Knitting, Crochet, Pottery, and Quilting.

6. Ponyboy is probably hella clumsy, like I could see him messing around on a table at bucks and falling off trying to jump to another table.

7. I feel like if the book was placed in the mid 70's he'd definitely listen to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen or in his current time period he definitely listens to The Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash, he just seems like that type of guy.

8. He definitely treats Johnny to Fast Food when he has the extra money. It's not in a relationship kind of way just a hang out type of thing.

9. I can definitely see Ponyboy having a good 9 or 10 first place medals for track. He's probably what's carrying his schools track team too.

10. Ponyboy definitely helps people who can't get their lockers open at school and it's more than likely his pride and joy. I dare you to convince me otherwise.

Johnny-

1.He is a respectful king and no matter what everyone else says, he is not and innocent bean. Let's be so fr. He literally killed a man for his best friend and hangs out with Dallas Winston and y'all are gonna tell me he's innocent? Yeah right.

2.He has definitely picked up some really dirty jokes from hanging out with Dallas but will only use them in the appropriate setting. If there is something serious going on than he won't let out a joke. A party on the other hand, oh shit he's gonna be saying a dirty joke every 5 minutes.

3.He loves the rain and thinks it's a gift from God. He loves to dance in it alone or when he's feeling depressed or sad he'll just sit in the rain and let it comfort him. He thinks it's prettiest out when it rains. (and I Agree)

4.He loves helping mutts he finds on the streets. He has a best friend German shepherd he named Houston, and he follows him around a lot. I can also see them sleeping and cuddling in the lot together to protect each other.

5.Johnny has definitely influenced Pony to get his Ferret so Houston can play with it for funzees. He has also shown up to like 80% of Ponyboy's track meets.

6.Johnny goes home on Monday afternoons because he knows his parents are at work and he will go into his room and find entertainment for a few hours, shower, change his clothes, and then leave.

7.before his parents started fighting, they would do family outings on Wednesdays and go to restraunts, amusement parks, and fairs together and Johnny still keeps polaroids of those outings.

8.Johnny really doesn't drink but I can see him drinking on those big occasions when school gets out for the summers, or if its someone's birthday, but I think that'd be about it.

9.You can fight me on this in the comments, but I don't care. Johnny definitely has a summer job every summer. He'll work at the movie theater, the drive in, the dingo, or try for cashier at the DX. He always finds a job for the summer.

10.When Johnny's mom and dad started fighting Johnny was his mom's therapist and his dad's shit talking listener. So, like after a fight, Johnny would consol his mom and get her to bed and then listen to his dad talk shit about his mom until he was black out drunk.

Dallas-

1.Dallas has been around his parents fighting a lot and he definitely has mommy issues because of it. His mom has definitely left him for weeks or months at a time to starve growing up which destroyed his relationship with her growing up.

2.Dallas and Tim Shepherd definitely get drunk and sing stupid karaoke together and Ponyboy keeps polaroids of it to give to Dallas later when he's sober and Dallas keeps them in his wallet.

3.Dallas is definitely scared of spiders because he was bit by one when he was like 11 and has never let it go and so the gang will mess with him on occasion and scare the shit out of him with a rubber or plastic spider or some shit.

4.Dallas got his St. Christopher necklace from a preacher in New York after telling him all that is mother had done to him and him and that preacher still keep in contact. I can just see it man.

5.Dallas definitely smokes the 7-leaf clover, let's just face it, he's probably been to jail for it too. I could see him taking a weekend trip every other month to another state just to get the shit too.

6.He's broke a chair over Two-Bit's back to see if the chair was indestructible. It was not and the gang never let Dallas or Two-Bit forget it. Two-Bit and him do the dumbest shit together all of the time.

7.Dallas has beef with this one cat out in the streets of Tulsa because he was trying to be nice and pet it and it scratched his face all to hell and has been look for it for revenge ever since.

8.Dallas was trying to give Johnny a piggyback ride wearing socks on a hard wood floor and he slipped and fell into a metal chair and broke his pinky and ring finger and kicked the damn chair after he got up.

9.Dallas loves bon fires because it makes him feel like a fire master and he likes to stick sticks into the fire to catch them on fire as if they were torches and will pass it around to tell a spooky story.

10.If this man were to have a pet, he'd have a bearded dragon because he'd find them cool as fuck and he'd scare Ponyboy with it when he mouths off.

Sodapop-

1.Soda gets extra tips at the DX from middle aged women or high school girls and he's never complaining about it because bitch he's broke! He does however split the tips with steve.

2.When Soda's mom and dad passed, Soda got most of her pictures and also got a silk duvet and pillow and he won't use it because he's scared to ruin it.

3.When Soda is mad, he'll go work on cars at the DX and won't come back home for a couple hours till he's calmed down and talks to Darry about his situation. Soda is really car smart too.

4.Soda at some point fixed and rebuilt and engine and everyone went out to celebrate it because it was Soda's equivalent to graduating and it was the happiest day of his life and have about 20 different polaroids of the engine and celebration in his work shirt.

5.He picks on Steve ALL of the time at work and Steve almost always gets him back with a really fucked up prank for example, wrapping the staff urinal with Surran wrap and 9 times out of 10 you'll hear Soda yell "Steve, You FUCKHEAD!"

6.Soda and Steve at some point were dealing with a rude customer and Dallas Walked in and they all just started making fun of this person with no chill and everyone was laughing about it for the next 3 days after it happened.

7.Soda love to watch the nearby rivers flow. It's like free therapy to him and it became his obsession when he was 12. His mother showed him that spot. Soda goes there to think when he's really upset. When his dad and mom died, he went there and camped for 2 days.

8.him and Steve will make extremely offensive jokes about each other but will refuse every single time to crack a joke about the Death of Soda's Mom and Dad and I mean refuse.

9.Soda will steal Soda he's never tried during his shift and give a review to Steve so Steve will know what he should try when he goes in. Sometimes on their day off on the way to a rodeo, Steve will stop for drinks and buy one that Soda rated poorly, and Soda almost threw hands with Steve because of it.

10.Soda likes to give each rodeo trip a nickname like if someone got flung into a wall by a bull, he'll call it the the bull-wall rodeo for the rest of his life and everyone will know what he's talking about.

Darry-

1.Darry is a prankster at work. He just is. I can see him putting charcoal paste on his boss's radio announcer and he put it right up to his lips and was practically making out with the thing and everyone was laughing at Darry's boss the whole day.

2.Darry wanted to go to college to do Physical Therapy on people but when his parents died, he had to use his college funds to pay for the caskets and funeral service and he cries about it often.

3.Darry and Dallas have man to man talks about stuff that upset them over the week and nobody knows about these talks because it's like their therapy that they can have for free, and they can both trust each other to keep it unknown.

4.At some point Darry went to work incredibly sick and passed out while finishing a roofing job and he was taken to the hospital and when Soda came to see him Darry broke down because of stress.

5.Darry tries to participate in church with his brothers every other Sunday and it always makes him feel like his week will be better. He finds it as a good reset.

6.Darry likes to make faces at babies at the store and when the baby starts giggling excessively Darry runs for it. He did this one time when he was in the store with Soda and Soda told everyone.

7.Darry likes to put Steve in a headlock as his hi to Steve and when Darry doesn't do this, everyone questions if he's ok and if something happened at work for him to not do that to Steve.

8.Darry won't get a dog till Pony turn 17 and more mature because then the responsibility of the dog can be split more even, and he'd get it as a gift for Pony.

9.Darry has tripped Ponyboy down the stairs for being mouthy and Ponyboy will never let him live it down and Darry is still very proud of his actions to this day.

10.Darry was definitely the quarterback for the football team and his dad was more than proud of him for it. They celebrated with Darry the night he was announced quarterback.

Steve-

1.he's very insecure of his nose. Like people who walk into the DX will make fun of him and mock him for it. At some point it got so bad Steve had to start working exclusively in the back of the DX on cars.

2.He loves rodeos because his mom used to work at them when he was little, so he became very accustomed to watching them he, at some point, got so close with one of the rodeo stars that he was allowed to ride his horse and do some of the jumps.

3.Stevie boy here does not like chocolate cake as much as everyone in this fandom thinks. He likes it enough to eat it. Like Two-Bit ate chocolate cake in one scene and everyone kinda looked over it but Steve eats it and everyone's all like "OHHHHHHHH".

4.Steve had a rough childhood and he had to get close with his male neighbor to learn basic 'dad' tasks from him. So, Steve and his neighbor are really close and have a really good relationship and respect for each other.

5.Steve enjoys drinking on Friday nights at bucks and more often than not Buck will let him have the beer or shots on the house. Steve doesn't get black out drunk but just enough to get buzzed and feel nice.

6.Steve saves up for his own car. He has a separate job where all of the money he earns goes towards buying his first car all on his own and his mom knows of it and is really impressed with Steve's financial decision.

7.If Steve were to have a pet, he'd have a cockatiel named Fred (My sister's idea) and this damn bird would piss Soda, Pony, and Dally so much it's actually crazy. Dallas and this damned bird had a roasting competition, and everyone was judging the shit out of them.

8.Steve likes to bully and I mean bully the shit out of Two-Bit for the fact that he watches Mickey Mouse. However, Steve calmed down on it because Two-Bit doesn't even watch Mickey Mouse all of the time.

9.Steve trips up the girls that make Soda uncomfortable with their comments on Soda's physical appearance. At some point one girl was tripped so hard her face go like 30 scratches on it and it was hilarious.

10.Steve and Two-Bit will do extremely dumb shit together all of the fucking time. Literally Steve tried to do a backflip off of the front porch of the Curtis house and Two-Bit tried to catch him and they both tripped and hit their heads harder as fuck and then blamed Ponyboy.

Two-Bit

1.Well, it's Two-Bit he's a wild card. Unless someone died, he's saying the most random shit ever. The boys were at the drive in and all Two-Bit had to say was "damn I took the longest piss ever yesterday I pissed the new Mississippi River, man."

2.Two-Bit likes to blame Ponyboy for anything and everything he can and everyone finds it so funny because it makes them seem so much alike siblings and its actually so unreal and funny.

3.Whenever Two-Bit is upset, he'll talk to Soda or Steve about it and 9 times out of 10 they can help him out with it. He's really good at getting help when he needs it.

4.Him, Steve and Dallas are some hyper motherfuckers around each other and will all do some dumb shit that will end up hurting all three or two out of the three on one of the three and they can't help but act like total crackheads around each other.

5.Two-Bit isn't actually as obsessed with Mickey Mouse as everyone makes it seems he just happens to enjoy it but that doesn't necessarily mean he has to be absolutely obsessed with it.

6.If Two-Bit had a pet I'm pretty sure he'd have a Raccoon, tell me those bitches don't give off the same energy I know he'd be feeding the raccoon hotdogs 24/7 365. That raccoon is probably fat as fuck man.

7.Two-Bit likes to take walks around Tulsa with Tim or Curly Shepherd and crack the corniest jokes ever with them and wave down cops just to tell them that there was 'trouble' at the dingo.

8.Two-Bit likes to go and volunteer at vet clinics and somehow can always get at least 15 dogs adopted in 1 day and he calls it his big boy charm and use that information as you will.

9.Two-Bit likes to pick berries for Darry so he can make pie, fruit salads, and other deserts. He also has a designated basket for it and unless he has that specific basket, he won't go, he'll just stay home.

10.Two-Bit steals the ingredients for smores and makes a bon fire to roast them with the gang and I already know he likes his mallow burnt and that's ok because that's when they're best and him burning the mallow grosses Dallas out so so so much.

The End

A/n thank you sm for requesting this let me know if you would like more head canons or one including Y/n or spicy ones. Love y'all see ya next time!❤😘

#dallas winston #the outsiders #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #two bit mathews #steve randle #ponyboy curtis #johnny cade #the outsider head canons

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jaehyunnie77 · 2 years ago

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Exile

summary: you and jaehyun are endgame, or rather were supposed to be endgame. the short story of your relationship and the ending.

pairing: jaehyun x f. reader

genre: lovers to ex's | break up au | holy trinity

word count: 5.8k

warnings: cuss words, pet names (baby/babe), mentions of food, ass slapping, oral (female recieving), unprotected sex (please wrap it up), orgasm denial, a bit of dom jaehyun, creampie.

a/n: happy holidays everyone! i've been working on this on and off for i dont know how many months, but it's here now lol. thank you to this lovely anon for requesting this scenario. i swear i didn't mean for this to be so long hehe. also, exile by taylor swift ft bon iver has been stuck in my head so that's where the title came from lol. happy sad reading and any feedback is greatly appreciated.

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the meeting

“Order for Y/N.” The barista calls out. You quickly throw your phone into your bag and hurriedly walk to the counter to grab your coffee. Today, out of all days, you just had to sleep through your alarm and now you’re running late. You should have been in class ten minutes ago to prepare for the lecture to begin.

Too deep in your thoughts, you didn’t see or hear the person behind you. When you turned around, you bumped into something hard as your hot coffee spilled on the man’s shirt. Not only that, but whatever you bumped into, made you lose your balance making you land on your ass.

“Ow. Shit.” You say quietly before looking up and seeing the stain on a white crisp shirt. Petrified, you grab the napkins from a nearby table and begin patting the coffee stain hoping it would go away. “I am so sorry!” You’re not really thinking or using your brain at the moment as you keep repeating sorry.

“It’s okay.” The man chuckles deeply. He wasn’t even mad about it. When it seemed like you didn’t hear him, or stop patting his shirt, he softly held onto your wrist to halt your movements. It then registers in your brain that you are invading someone’s personal space. You slowly look up at him and he has the most beautiful brown eyes you’ve ever seen.

You quickly look away and stare at his shirt, trying to hide the smile creeping on your face. This just had to be your luck today didn’t it.

“I’m Jaehyun.” He says softly looking down at you.

Damn even his name is beautiful.

You’re still staring at his shirt to gather your nerves to calm down when you look up and tell him your name. You give him a soft smile in return before saying one last time, “I’m really sorry about your shirt. I can pay for your coffee or dry cleaning.”

All the cute man does is chuckle at your cuteness. “It’s okay. Honestly, I’ve been trying to get rid of this shirt for the longest time and now I have a reason to.” That made you laugh. At least he wasn’t yelling at you. “You can make it up to me though.”

Your eyes go wide as you violently nod your head. “Oh my god yes please. Name it. I really do feel bad even if you want to throw it away. It is the least I can do.”

He laughs at your comment, “Go on a date with me. Tonight?” He says confidently. Now that took you by surprise.

“You’re very straightforward aren’t you?” you smirk.

Jaehyun gives you a lopsided smile making his dimples pop out. “Yeah, I can be, but you did say it’s the least you can do to make it up to me.” He had you at that and you didn’t even need to second guess your answer when you said yes.

After that first interaction and date, you went on multiple dates to get to know each other. He was easy to get along with and he made you laugh uncontrollably. Something people have a very hard time doing. In all, he just made you the happiest you’ve ever been. By the third week of dating, you two were officially together.

You did everything together from dates, him picking you up from class, going grocery shopping, hanging out and not doing anything special, cooking together, singing karaoke together, and everything in between.

By the sixth month, you both met each other’s families. You’ve been in several relationships in the past, but the relationship with Jaehyun felt different. Solely because he was different. Some may say you both moved a little too quickly for their liking, but hey, once you know, you just know and you roll with it. There wasn’t anything or anyone that would make you doubt him or the love you two share.

He understood you and listened to you whenever you needed to vent and he was always there whenever you needed him. You were each other’s biggest supporters and motivators to chase after what you wanted. On top of that, he made you feel like a princess with the way he showers you with love. There are days where you can’t believe you are living out your very own fairytale of finding your true love. Of finding your prince charming and falling head over heels in love with him and living happily ever after.

Jeong Jaehyun is perfect and he is all yours.

the fourth year

A lot has happened in the last four years. After a year of dating, you two moved into a small apartment together that was only ten minutes away from your college. You both graduated college with your degrees and are currently working for your dream companies. You’ve both been on endless vacations from New York, Chicago, Canada, Milan, and London to name a few. Four years later and you still couldn’t believe the life you’ve built with Jaehyun so far.

It's a Friday night and you couldn’t wait to walk into your apartment and change into more comfortable clothes and snuggle with your boyfriend. What you didn’t expect is to be met with almost an empty apartment.

“Baby are you home?” you yell out as you take off your shoes by the door. The lights are on, his shoes are by the door, but there was no one in sight. Usually, you could hear your boyfriend anywhere in the apartment due to him having a heavy hand and being the clumsy dork he is.

“Babe?” you yell out once more as you walk further into the living room. That is when you see a note on the couch. You pick it up and read it as a smile forms on your face and the butterflies swarm in your tummy again.

Follow the rose pedals cutie.

You look down and sure enough, there are roses on the ground leading you out of the living room. You follow exactly what your boyfriend said until you reach your kitchen island with another note.

Remember this last minute trip to New York and we were in such a rush we forgot to bring jackets and we almost froze to death?

You laugh out loud because that specific trip was one of your most treasured ones with him. You both were so excited to be doing this last minute that you were not prepared whatsoever and forgot it was winter. You look up and there is a photo of you both snuggling close together in front of the Winter Garden Theatre.

You look around hoping to see him, but there was more roses to follow. At each random stop in your apartment, there was a note or a favorite memory and pictures. The roses end their trail on the balcony and as you step on that’s when you see him.

Soft music is playing in the background, lit candles are everywhere, and there is a table in the middle of your small patio. Your eyes find Jaehyun’s loving eyes and you take in his outfit – black and white suit. You look past him and see a wall full of pictures of your time together, balloons hanging from the ceiling, along with dangling lights.

“Jae, what is all of this?” you chuckle with tears forming in your eyes.

Jaehyun walks over to you and gives you a tender kiss. “Hi.” He gives you his dimple smile and turns around to give you a glass of champagne.

“Is there a special occasion I forgot about?” you softly giggle trying to mentally picture your full packed schedule.

“Y/N LY/N. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” Jaehyun tells you. “You are always there whenever I need guiding and always know how to make me smile. If I’m having a horrible day, you know just what to say to make it better. Your laugh is contagious and music to my ears and I swear you give me serotonin every single time. You are my best friend, my rock, and the person I am madly, deeply in love with. There is no other person I’d rather spend the rest of my life with, so that is why I have to ask,” He gets down on one knee and takes out a black box and opens it, “Y/N, would you do me this honor and be my wife for forever?” In the black box laid the most beautiful diamond ring you’ve ever seen.

You look away from the ring and into his glistening eyes. God you love this man so much. You wipe your tears as you nod fiercely. “Yes! Yes and yes! A million times yes!” Jaehyun smiles widely taking the ring out with shaking hands and placing it on your fourth finger. He gets up and kisses you passionately as he holds you tight in his embrace.

“I love you Mrs. Jeong.” He says.

“And I love you Mr. Jeong.” You laugh before going in for another kiss.

That night you two made endless love that you swear you heard your neighbor banging on the wall for you both to shut up.

The following week, you both announced the news to your family and friends and as expected, everyone is happy for you both. You couldn’t stop smiling and you couldn’t wait to start planning your dream wedding to the love of your life. You couldn’t wait for your future.

the drunk night

It has been eight months since you got engaged and an exhausting but exciting eight months. The wedding date was set to hold in fourth months. As much as you were excited in the process of planning your wedding and building your forever with Jaehyun, he didn’t seem too excited in the last month or so. You would try to get his input about the cake, the venue, the guest list, the location, down to the color schemes and all you’ve got in return was a “choose whichever makes you happy.”

Sure, if this was any other person, you’d look the other way and just be glad to plan it, except, this is Jaehyun. The one who makes it obvious and known when he’s excited, tired, angry, frustrated, annoyed, disappointed, and all other emotions in between. You’ve noticed him becoming less excited and more exhausted whenever the topic of the wedding comes up.

You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was making him feel anxious or brushing it off like it was nothing. You’ve tried multiple times to coax it out of him and yet all you got in return was a snappy attitude and him repeatedly saying, “it’s nothing.”

It is 10:30 on a Saturday night and Jaehyun still hasn’t come home. You’ve called and texted him multiple times only for his phone go straight to voicemail and no text back. You were starting to get worried since he always made sure to check in with you if he was going to be out late.

Four hours passed and still the same outcome. You scroll through your contacts to find his best friend’s phone number. Just as you are about to dial Johnny, you hear the door unlock and there walks in your fiancé. Your very drunk fiancé.

Jaehyun is notoriously known to have a high alcohol intolerance since college, so the fact that he is bat shit drunk in front of you tells you he was clearly drinking something away.

“Ow. Shit.” He mumbles as he stumbles to the floor. You jump from the couch and ran straight to him. “Oh hi honey. You’re still up?” He gives you a lopsided smile.

“How much did you drink Jae?” you ask worriedly. You’ve never seen this side of him before.

“Just enough.” He sighs deeply and attempts to get up only for his movements to be sluggish.

You get up and attempt to get him off the floor. After the tenth time, you succeeded and stumble to your shared room. “Come on babe, let’s get you to bed.”

“You are so pretty. You’ve always been so pretty Y/N.” he mumbles and begins to poke your cheeks.

“And so are you handsome.” You try to return the same enthusiasm, but to no avail. Inside, your brain kept asking a million different questions of why he drank so much.

“I miss you.” he pouts at you once he laid on the bed.

“I miss you too silly.”

“No, I know. I mean, I just really miss you.”

“I’m always here, what are you talking about bubs.” You chuckle.

“No you’re not. It’s different. It all feels different.”

Just before you’re about to ask him what he meant, he closes his eyes and falls fast asleep. You sigh deeply and do your best to get him out of his jeans and shirt so he could sleep more comfortably.

As you lay next to him, his words kept replaying in your brain and along with that, you begin to think back on how things been between you both lately. Before anxiety could overwhelm you, you force your mind to shut up and try getting some sleep.

The next morning, you woke up to Jaehyun cooking breakfast and for a minute you forgot what happened the night before. You get out of bed and head over to see your fiancé focusing on the egg omelet. For a very drunk person the night before, he seems to be doing okay without a hangover.

“Good morning handsome. It smells good in here.” You warmly smile as you hug him from behind.

“Good morning babe.”

“How are you feeling?” you cautiously ask.

“Doing okay. No hangover it that’s what you’re asking.” He chuckles.

“I wish I had your superpowers. You came home super drunk.”

“Yeah I’m sorry about that. Had too much to drink with Johnny and the boys and just lost count.”

Was it just that? Have you been overthinking about the situation over nothing?

“It’s okay. We all need to get drunk once in a while, though, you’re hard to get off of the floor when you’re that wasted.” You both laugh at that comment and continue on the day with each other.

In the back of your mind, you felt this particular moment was what started it all for what was to come. You wish you had seen the signs sooner.

the blowup

It’s been two months since the night Jaehyun came home drunk and since then, you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him. You were scared of what was coming or what he had to say if you asked him about what he said. So instead, you pretend that everything was fine in your relationship, when in reality it was the total opposite.

You both felt different and couldn’t come to terms with it.

“I’m not saying that we can’t have both entrees Jaehyun. You’re missing the point.” You say trying to control your temper from boiling over.

“Then who gives a fuck if we have steak or chicken? Or mashed potatoes and carrots? No one is going to give a flying fuck as long as you have the damn wedding Y/N!” Jaehyun exclaims.

It wasn’t that you were afraid of him, its just you’ve never seen him this upset before. You sit there in shock written all over your face.

“Jae-“

“Seriously Y/N, do you really think people are going to judge you for the food you serve them? No. All they care about it having free booze, free meal, and the wedding. That’s all people care about.”

“Well maybe if you have given me your input from the start then we wouldn’t be sitting here talking about entrees!” you finally said as you hit your tipping point. There was no way you were going to get yelled at when you were the only one planning this alone.

“Oh, so now it’s my fault we can’t choose what the hell to eat.” Jaehyun scoffs.

Taking a deep breath as you try to calm yourself down, you try to understand where he is coming from. “Look I get you’re stressed out from the new promotion at work –“

“This has nothing to do with work!”

You frowned at his response, confusion taking over. “Then where is this coming from?”

He deeply sighs annoyingly, “Nowhere.”

You get up from the couch when you start to feel angry, “No, clearly something is bothering you just like it has been for the last couple of months. Spill out Jae, what is going on?”

“It’s nothing, forget about it.”

You were growing more frustrated and couldn’t help the next words to slip out of your mouth, “Are you seeing someone else? Is that it? Is that why you’re so miserable all the time!?”

His eyes widen as he also gets up from the couch. “Of course not! I am not a cheater and you know it!”

“Pft, then what is it because all you’ve been doing lately is give me the same repetitive answers with an attitude for the past several months. So whatever you have to say, just –“

“Fine! I don’t want to get married! There I said it! Are you happy now?”

You both stand there in shock at the words he said. You from hearing it and him for finally saying it out loud.

“What?” you ask in almost a whisper in disbelief.

Jaehyun sighs deeply before letting it out, “I don’t want to get married.”

You are so confused on how this turned an ugly left. “I don’t – I don’t understand. You don’t want to get married anymore?”

“No.” he says sadly.

“Did you ever wanted to get married in the first place?”

He takes a deep breath once again and shakes his head.

Now your entire world is flip upside down.

“Then why would you ask in the first place Jaehyun?” you cried.

“Because you’re you. You’ve always wanted to get married and we kept talking about it, and I thought at the time it was what I wanted as well at the time. I just wanted to make you happy.”

You stand there, your heart breaking into pieces as your mind and heart went to war with each other.

“So you only asked because I wanted to get married?”

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I never meant for this to happen.”

Just like that, the dam in your eyes begin to fall as you try to catch your breath. You didn’t realize you’re crying so hard.

“It’s been four years and you didn’t have it in you to be honest with me? Ab-about our relationship. Do you even still love m-me?”

Silence.

It was getting harder for the words to form and come out of your mouth. All Jaehyun could do in that moment is hold you close and let both of you cry throughout the night.

the hide and seek

Four years. That’s how long you spent your life with someone you thought would be your forever, only for it to go down the drain.

Everyone thought you and Jaehyun would be endgame – your family, friends, co-workers, and strangers alike have told you that both are endgame. Jaehyun has said it. You’ve said it. So, why is it, as you sit on the couch two weeks later, wonder where, when, and how did it all go wrong. How did one precious timeframe of tender loving turn into a disaster nightmare?

“I guess we should talk.” Jaehyun says carefully when he sees you staring into nothing on the couch. He knows it is his fault for why you are in this position and for hurting you.

You didn’t reply to him and felt the other end of the couch dip as he sits down.

It is quiet for a moment before you ask the question that’s been on your mind for the past two weeks “Where do we go from here?”

Jaehyun stares at the wall ahead of him, “I think we both know what needs to happen.” He looks to you and he truly regrets hurting you.

“When did you know?” you ask turning to face him.

“Know what?”

“That you didn’t love me anymore?”

He knew this question was coming, but didn’t expect it to be so hard to tell you the truth. “I still love you Y/N, but it’s not the same as when we first started dating.”

“So, when?”

“Four months ago.”

You nodded your head. That was the time he started coming home late and that one drunken night he came stumbling into your apartment. You think back to last year and try to analyze where you went wrong, though the only thing you can think of was you both were committed to your jobs. Which resulted in not having enough time for each other and as far as sex goes it happened at least twice a month.

Damn, even the sex was lacking when you both used to have crazy sex.

“Why didn’t you just come and talk to me? We could have worked something out you know.” You say sadly.

“Yeah, but what would be the point? You finally got that promotion you’ve been wanting right after New Years and I ended up covering more hours at work. We didn’t have time for each other and if we did, it was mostly sleeping in from how exhausted we were.”

“But you’re my fiancé, boyfriend, whatever. We should have still communicated Jaehyun.”

“I know and that is my fault. I will admit and own up to that. I thought if I proposed to you, it would bring back the love I felt for you, but it never did. So, instead of manning up, I was a coward and held in my true feelings in order to save you the heartbreak, but I see now I was wrong.”

“If we had never fought two weeks ago, would you have said something? Would you have called off the wedding when it was time?”

At that Jaehyun became quiet. “I don’t know.”

You couldn’t handle sitting on the couch any longer with the man you still love and hear his honesty. You wanted to scream, throw his things out the door, break something, but instead, you just left the living room in defeat.

That night he slept in the guest room, while you slept by yourself in your once shared mastered bedroom. That arrangement continued for another two weeks. It shouldn’t be like this. None of this should even be happening. Maybe it was due to the upcoming embarrassment of you two breaking up and telling your friends and family about it. As much as you try to find ways to still be in a relationship with Jaehyun, you knew deep down that if he no longer loved you, there isn’t much of a relationship.

You knew what the next step is and as much as you don’t want to face it, it’s best if you both start to move forward with your own lives.

You walk into the living room where he is slouched on the couch mindlessly watching the TV. You take a deep breath to gather all your courage. “I think we should officially break up.”

Jaehyun’s eyes find yours in an instant and straightens up. He just gives you a small nod.

“I found some apartment listings so I’ll move out in a few weeks or so.” you gave him a nod and turn back to your room.

The look on his face is either from the surprise break up or shock that you’re the one moving out. To be honest, he shouldn’t be feeling either emotions because this would have been the outcome one way or another and he knew that.

He just didn’t think it would hurt him this much.

the end

Few weeks or so turned into a month because holy shit apartment searching is hell. There was no way you’re moving back with your parents or crashing at your friends places. Living with your ex was new. Sure, the first few days were awkward as you try to not bump into each other or walk into bathrooms when being used. Later, you both somehow managed to make it work – by coming home late and leaving early.

After finally finding an apartment near your work, you start packing your things. As you pack the last remaining items, you never realized you had so many things. You decided to take a break and have a nice long hot shower since Jaehyun was still at work. While you’re in the shower, Jaehyun comes home early from work. He hears the soft R&B music coming from your once shared room.

To him, he was grateful that it wasn’t a toxic breakup or any 24/7 bitterness between you both. He kept replaying the night you told him you were moving out and he couldn’t put into words how he felt. Too deep in his thoughts and unaware of your presence, you walk out of your room naked.

It’s something you always do when you’re home alone. Jaehyun’s eyes goes wide from seeing all of you as you try to cover up your body with a towel. It’s a sight he truly missed seeing.

“Oh my god! Jaehyun! You’re home. I’m so sorry.” You say catching your breath and slowing down your heart rate.

All Jaehyun can do is stare at you before nodding, “Yeah, I decided to call it a day.” He quickly turns around as your nipple peaks out of your rushed towel. “I’m going to make some dinner.” He quickly rushes into the kitchen to calm himself down.

Something comes over you the moment you see his back enter the kitchen. You do something, something you haven’t done in a hot second and let your towel fall to the ground. You follow after him naked. Jaehyun has his back to you as he looks at the pantry trying to rid thoughts of you.

“Jae.” You say softly gaining his attention.

Jaehyun turns around and once again gets fluster at you being naked in front of him. He takes in your perfect body and he can’t even remember the last time you had sex. Neither of you can. You guess it has been a while.

You slowly walk up to him as he stands there frozen watching your every move. His eyes meets yours filled with lust and longing. You softly touch his arm and caress it before wrapping them around your waist.

“Y/N-“

“If you don’t want to, I’ll stop.” You interject. You’re super horny and from the way he’s eyeing you, you know he is too, but when he doesn’t make a move or say anything, you figured he wasn’t in the mood. Embarrassment begins to take over as you stop touching him and backing away from his form.

“I’m sorry –“ you begin, but your sentence is cut short when he grabs your waist and clashes your lips together.

The kiss is hungry as if you two are both starved. In a sense, you’re both starving for each other. You take off his shirt revealing his perfect abs and begin to undo his belt. Jaehyun’s lips travel to your jaw, neck, down to your clavicle. Once he’s free of his jeans, he kicks them off and kisses you once more.

His hands goes all over your bare back before giving your ass a squeeze and slapping it earning a gasp from you. He then surprises you by picking you up and sitting you on the counter where he kisses you all over your chest. He kisses both breasts before diving to your right nipple and sucking it as his hand pinches and stimulates the left and repeats the motions.

You gasp as he continues to arouse you and you unconsciously begin moving your hips and wrapping your legs around him.

“Jae.” You whine. He looks up at you, your tit still in his mouth and his hooded eyes are dark. “I need you.” you finally manage to say.

He nods and leaves a trail of kisses up to your lips. With your legs still wrap around him, he picks you up smoothly and walks back to your shared room. He lays you down gently and begin giving the rest of your body kisses down to your core.

“Jaehyun.” You say out of breath because you know he’s teasing you right now.

“Just a little taste first baby.”

He kisses your inner thighs before kissing your clit. His tongue licks your wet folds and you couldn’t help the moan that comes out of your mouth.

“It has been too long.” He says more to himself, but you still heard him.

He dives his tongue into your hole as his nose brushes against your clit. He knows what you want and he gives it to you. He sucks and licks as his digits enters you. You are so horny from all the foreplay, it didn’t take long for you to come.

“That’s my good girl.” He says breathlessly. You look down at him to see your essence on his chin. He holds his hard cock, giving it a few pumps before getting off his knees to crawl over you. Jaehyun doesn’t give you time to recover when he gathers your wetness and slides between your folds. Jaehyun positions the head directly in front of your soaking hole and slowly pushes himself inside.

No matter how many times you two do this, you never get used to how much he beautifully stretches you out. Inch by inch, you feel every rigid of his perfect cock in you. You gasp when he’s fully seated inside of you and he gives you a minute to catch your breath before you tell him to move.

He doesn’t need to be told twice, but instead of going slow, he surprises you by pulling out to the tip and slamming back into you. He repeats the motion until he’s fucking you hard and fast. Just the way you both like it.

“Fuck you are so beautiful. I love the way you take my cock.”

You moan in between gasps, “Always for you.”

Jaehyun changes positions as he sits on his heels, pulling you closer to him and holding up your legs in the air. The position lets him watch your soaked pussy swallow him whole whenever he fucks deeper into you. You hold onto your boobs when he goes faster and fuck you have missed this.

“Jae I’m close.”

“Already going to cum? Hold it in just a bit longer.” His voice is deep.

You do as you’re told and try to hold it in as long as you can until it was too much. “Jaehyun!”

“Come on my dick baby.” You let go as soon as he tells you. The pure bliss takes over every single nerve as you cum hard. Your mouth goes slack, eyes closed, and all Jaehyun can do in that one moment is be mesmerize by your perfection.

He slows his pace down enough to let you catch your breath, but Jaehyun being Jaehyun, that didn’t last long. He hovers over you once more with your legs now by your face. This position makes it so much more intimate and deeper.

“You are so beautiful.”

“I want you to cum in me. Please baby.” How could he not resist you when you begged so cutely and so fucked out. He kisses you hard as his pace returns to animalistic and thrusts harder into you.

“Please daddy. I want it all. I want you to fill me up.” You knew just what to say to get him going. His hips begin to falter as his cock twitches and cums in you.

His moans and groans is so sexy, you almost come again from the sound of it.

“Fuck.” Jaehyun says when he finally catches his breath. You stay in that blissful moment before he pulls out. You feel your mix liquids drip down while he goes into the bathroom to get you a warm towel to clean you up. He discards the towel onto the floor as he lies down next to you pulling the blanket over your naked bodies.

“So that just happened.” You say not knowing exactly what to do next.

“Yeah.” He says staring at the ceiling. Neither of you have ever been in this position before, let alone have random one night stands before you two met all those years ago.

“I’m sorry for what I did and for hurting you.” he breaks the silence.

“I know. As much as I want to hate you for it, I can’t and I don’t. I somehow get it. We just grew apart I guess.” You say quietly. In reality, it was true. You both are two completely different people than you were a year ago or four years ago.

“Can we just stay like this for one night? One last time?” he turns to look at you with pleading eyes. He wants you to say yes. He wants to hold you in his arms and watch Disney movies. He wants to be next to you throughout the night.

You look back at him and give him a sad smile, “One last time.” You whisper. You kiss him as you pull yourself on top to straddle him.

One last time. One last night. You both used it wrap in each other and bring each other to ecstasy and to the heavens above, all for it to repeat until the early morning.

Your by the door not really wanting to leave, but you have to take the first step in moving forward with your life.

“So this is really it isn’t it?” he asks softly.

“Yeah I guess it is.” You whisper.

Somehow seeing the last box by the door and you getting ready to leave, hurt him. It’s strange to see the person you’ve spent four long years with suddenly walking out the door to never return again.

“Thank you Jaehyun for everything.” You look up at him and give him one last kiss on his soft lips. The lips that will for sure take a while to forget. You linger there for a moment taking it all in, before forcing yourself to pick up the box in your arms and walking away. Away from the man you loved – still love – and walk straight into the unknown future.

Jaehyun watches you get into your car and drive off away from him and the home you once shared. For the first time in a long time he wanted to cry. The memories the two of you shared comes rushing back and overwhelms him.

He knows he needed to let you go. He knew he couldn’t go through with the wedding and he knew you deserved someone better than him.

When he couldn’t see your car anymore, he looks around the empty apartment. For the first time in years, Jeong Jaehyun finally lets out all of his pent up emotions. The apartment feeling cold and lonely without you there. Without you in his life.

#jaehyun fic #jaehyun angst #jaehyun smut #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun au #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun oneshot #jaehyun x female reader #jaehyun x reader #nct angst #nct fluff #nct smut #nct fic #nct imagines

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ughgoaway · 1 year ago

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also omg?¿ you've probably seen the clips of matty completely breaking character upon seeing gabbriette in the front row (😭😭) like stop i literally cannot take how cute they are but....... its giving spotting teacher reader in the crowd and the way he just m e l t s entirely (the band teasing him after and even annie jumping in oh bye!!)

(he can't help but keep looking your way and the way he absolutely can't stop his smile from growing oh its so bad i fear...)

- (bff anon also needs to learn to stfu)

(THIS IS SO LATE I APOLOGISE BESTIE)

(its also not proofread so apologies for that too)

omg yes I literally must've watched those clips about 20 times over, every new angle that pops up I am LOOKING.

okay, okay, I'm imagining this is after you're already together and have been for a little bit. Obviously, you can't go on tour with him because you do have a job, and matty is MOPEY.

like he just won't stop waiting by the phone for you to text him. Anytime anyone's phone goes off, matty is jumping to his phone to check if it's you. Time difference makes it difficult, but you facetime and text as much as humanly possible.

even just little updates throughout the day, "the staff room had run out of tea bags. call the police." or "I know I shouldn't say this about a student, but ohmygod, timmy o'donnel might be the dumbest kid I've ever worked with. he'd 6, and he STILL spells his name with just one m. HOW!??!?"

sometimes, matty can't respond straight away (much to his disappointment), but when he gets back from sound check to see a text from you? my man is SWOONING. the boys all make fun of him for how giddy he gets, "dude you're like a teenage girl in a movie kicking her legs in bed and twirling the chord around her finger" "shut up"

It's not term time (do other countries call it that? like school time?? idk), so Annie is with Matty, but you're still in work on staff training days. the most boring days according to you

"I mean kids are hard work, but so is having to sit in a room with Mr. Smith for 5 hours as he tries to flirt with me" (needless to say, Matty is NOT a fan of Mr. Smith after this comment, but you assure him that no one could ever get you away from him, and you then tease him about the pink dusting on his cheeks when he hears that)

so one day, when Matty doesn't get a good morning text from you, his heart breaks a little, but he figured you had just woken up late and forgotten. but then lunch rolls around, and usually you Facetime and chat while you're on break, but still, radio silence.

he's worried, are you mad at him? Did he say something wrong? he messages asking if you're okay, but 5 minutes before he's due on stage, there's still no response. To say he's sad is an understatement. Everyone knows to give him a little space today because he is out of sorts.

but also, they know you're coming. you managed to convince your boss that you're sick (think mean girls "*cough cough" I'm sick") and sneak away to come to the Paris show. You had told the boys your plan, expecting some pushback or judgment. But, you got a unanimous "thank god" message because if they had to deal with matty missing you for one more day, they'd fly you out themselves.

you meet Mark outside, and he gets you in and has a spot at the front of the pit waiting for you. you are buzzing to see Matty, and you can't wait until he notices you in the crowd. You're wearing merch that you stole from his drawer, so you're hoping that will catch his eye.

matty gets on stage and distracts himself from thinking of you the whole show. The crowd is crazy tonight, and it's giving him the energy he needs. you're on Ross' side, and he clocks you immediately, waiting until Matty isn't looking when he waves at you sneakily.

the girls around you scream and swoon because who wouldn't when Ross waves at them? you giggle and wave back, but your eyes are immediately drawn back to Matty.

ever since that first concert, your eyes have been drawn to Matty, and seeing them live means so much more to you after that show. seeing it just brings you back to the night of your first kiss (working on this fic btw) and you feel giddy at the sight of him all smiley and dancey.

the good crowd and the sight of annie dancing around at the side of the stage keep matty pretty distracted, so for a good few songs, he doesn't notice you. but when he finally does? it's obviously to everyone in that room that he is looking at something he loves.

he is doing his usual stage antics but stops on the spot and does a double take when he sees you. you can hear the smile in his voice as he sings, but considering how wide it is on his face, you've sure the entire venue could see it anyway.

he finishes the song, doing his best to connect with the whole crowd, but he can not stop his eyes from drifting over to you. by the end of the song, he mouths to you, "I love you," whilst laughing in disbelief, and you just giggle and teasingly wave at him.

now does he call it out on stage??? perhaps... I think if he does he doesn't point you out or say your name he simply says, "I've just spotted by girlfriend in the audience, she's totally surprised me by being here so if the rest of the show is shit- you all know why"

I like to think the fans know matty has a gf but nothing else, no name or what you look like. because you're a non celeb, and he doesn't want you to have to deal with everything he does, and you don't mind either. any way you can stay out of the daily mail you're happy with

the show finishes, and it's not shit like matty said it's amazing as always. you get ushered off just before it ends to stand side stage waiting for matty.

you greet Annie when you get up there though, she's ecstatic to see you and asks whether you're staying, and you tell her you're there for the whole weekend and she shrieks and hugs you again and again. before the boys come off stage, someone comes and grabs Annie to wait in the green room. It's what's safest when there's so much commotion and movement.

she wanders off just as the boys come off stage, and you are immediately engulfed with just matty.

he hugs you, initially holding you tight and burrowing his face into your neck. He smells vaguely of sweat, wine, and cigs but somehow still smelt good.

he pulls back and hold you face between his hands, staring at you and flicking his eyes all over your face as if to confirm it's really you.

Once they hit your lips, he seems to remember he hasn't kissed you yet, so without a second thought, he pulls you in for a passionate kiss. you immediately moan at the contact, and matty uses the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. your hands rake through his sweaty curls.

a wolf whistle from Ross breaks you apart, and you immediately go red and hide in mattys shoulder, he's of course, unashamed and simply throws Ross a wink, which makes everyone around you burst out laughing.

about an hour later, you're all sat in the green room, and the teasing begins;

"mate you should've seen your face I thought you were about to faint"

"I don't think I've seen your eyes go that wide since Sarah Marshall flashed you her tits at your 18th" (George covers Annie's ears as he shares this anecdote, much to her annoyance)

"I'm surprised you remembered the lyrics after that. You forget them at the best of times"

"OKAY, OKAY, let's all calm down, enough of the teasing, please," matty begs

"You did look very funny though daddy" annie says with a giggle fiddling with ross' hair as she sits in his lap.

everyone laughed at Annie's comment and she lit right up, matty however groaned and burrowed his head into your chest, you teasingly said "there there, it's so hard being a simp I know baby" whilst petting his head.

the laughter continues, and he pulls back with a gasp, open-mouthed at your cheeky comment. but he soon settles back on the sofa and pulls you into his side, and before long, Annie comes running over and burrows herself in between the two of you.

both you and annie fall asleep on the sofa, and matty sneaks a picture before he wakes you up to go to the hotel.

it's his background for the next 6 months.

(also bff, never stfu I literally love you)

blurb masterlist here :)

#this has been in my drafts for a minute #oopsie #but yes simp matty supremacy.#he loves his girl... so what????#annie would so take the piss of him bc she loves how it makes her uncles giggle #sometimes they feed her lines #teacher au!#anon!#bff anon <33333

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mgopinoon · 1 month ago

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Hi, hopefully I'm not late to the party, cause I want to give my two cents to the situation. I've been catching up on tumblr and twitter on what the general discourse is, and I have seen more people judging Kaia's behavior than defending her or shipping them. Imo what has been happening is clearly laid out in that article, that said Kaia is trying to seem more interesting, let's think about it: she changed her look and started acting like she's trying to get his attention, by touching other men, flirting with them, allegedly disappearing with them for a long time doing god knows what, posting shade on her ig, alluding to things etc. Now they pop up after a lackluster denial of a breakup, looking more miserable than ever. Not even forced smiles or anything, even at the concert itself they looked very distant. I think Kaia also knows Austin wants to end things, so this is her way of trying to make him stay. However, this high school mentality will probably backfire, he is a grown man with a lot on his plate, he wouldn't want to deal with this immature behavior for long. I think this is her last ditch attempt to keep him somehow. Idk if there were pictures of her friends or Paul Mescal leaving the venue, I haven't seen any so far, so to me this weird miserable pap walk was so they could clear up her image a bit, cause she's been acting foolish, so when they do break up, it won't be cause she cheated or acted the way she did. I think someone close to Austin is leaking info to L&S in the meantime, so they can't put the blame on him when the announcement comes. This way he has some power over the narrative, they've been slowly building it up for a few months now. I also agree with another anon that celeb breakups like theirs usually have a few stages going from rumors to denial, pap walks and eventually a breakup. I think something similar happened to Rosalía and JAW recently. Same with Bennifer, maybe Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin, but I'm not sure what's up with them. It's clear to me they are not a match made in heaven, they have probably had issues for a long time, it's just coming to the surface now. I never expected their breakup to be smooth and clean, she was always going to try her best to squeeze all attention from him and drag this out. Imo that is what's happening, a slow death, cause otherwise she'd look bad.

I loved this conclusion. I totally agree with everything. She is fighting hard to stay and squeeze out as much as she can, the sad thing about this is that she can't even pretend to be happy, because Austin stopped doing that a while ago.

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animentality · 1 year ago

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last playthrough i noticed gorty has a piano in his office at wyrms rock. think he actually plays it?

part of me thinks he couldnt so much as put two notes together and its just there to look fancy and expensive, which is funnier and maybe more in character, but the romantic in me keeps thinking about him genuinely being able to play it, and good at it too. not sure where or when he’d have learned but hes got the steady hands for it anyway

also him playing it for durge, of course. amnesiac durge catching themself humming a tune that they cant remember ever having heard before, and then later they find out its a song gortash used to play a lot when they were together

Don't fucking do that to me, anon, I'd be dead on the floor.

The Dark Urge expresses an admiration for Orin's "artwork."

I wonder if maybe the Dark Urge wishes they were more artistic themselves. They're very efficient and practical.

They wouldn't have an eye for art, or music.

Which is why it's kind of sad to me, to imagine a bard Dark Urge?

Imagine loving music and wanting to grow up to play music for people...and then you find out you're a murderous demigod.

Like ouch.

No symphony orchestra in the upper city for you!

But as for whether or not Gortash knows how to play...realistically, it's just there to make him feel like he's one of those snotty nobles, born with a silver spoon in their mouth, all knowing how to play at least one instrument from childhood.

But romantically?

i'm with you, anon.

Gortash learns ONE song, that he can play for the Dark Urge, and it is awful, it's soooo off tune, it's awkward and he's terrible.

But the Dark Urge is transfixed, because they have never stopped to enjoy music before. And they can't hear the mistakes.

They just hear a man playing a song for them, and only them.

No gods between them. No trail of corpses or blood or plans for the invasion of the sword coast.

Just two people, sitting in his office, one badly playing the piano, the other listening and wishing they could speak into existence the forbidden thoughts and feelings racing through their heart, but knowing better.

Also, let's go wild.

Everyone seems to headcanon Gortash inviting the Dark Urge to come talk to him privately.

He invites them in and he's playing that fucking song.

and they recognize it as something they have hummed to themselves, heard late at night, when they were between conscious and unconscious.

maybe it's even a song they hum to themselves in broken melodies and forgotten harmonies when they're feeling particularly uncontrollable or murderous, because gortash was the only one who ever knew how to manage your urge.

ahhhh.

anon, stop giving me fic ideas.

you won't like what happens.

#durgetash #baldurs gate 3 #bg

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imagineitdearies-old · 1 year ago

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do you have any fav fics right now?

Hey anon! I have been taking a bit of a back seat on writing, so BOY do I have a ton of fics to recommend. I'm guessing you might be looking specifically for lucemond? I'll try to rec mostly that, though a few rhaenicent might slip in too 😁

(note some of these have dark content, please as always read the tags!)

(K)not me by Avonne - as always, @avonneslovelies delivers the perfect twisted combo of steaming hot smut and an emotionally-conflicted, hard-but-actually-soft Aemond. Can’t wait for future updates, but it stops in a good place to read like a one-shot!

as if you were a mythical thing by greynovembers - Lucerys as a sacrificial offering to god!Aemond? I will read this premise a million times, but this one-shot is probably my favorite rendition so far of this pairing.

prisoners of war; me and you and our baggage by @glaciya - have I recommended this before? Yes, yes I have. But now there are two more chapters!! If you aren't following this sweet amnesiac-fisherman!Lucerys fic, you are losing out.

Blood Ties by vishini - Relatively new, and yet the best omega!Aemond I've ever read?? A lovely remix of the usual 'Lucerys locked up and married off to Aemond during or post-Dance' where it's Aemond locked up, but the arranged marriage happened a long time ago pre-Dance. Regularly getting updated too, so anyone who likes omega!Aemond--READ THIS!!!

Real gods require blood by maya28 - (edit) I can’t believe I forgot to include this one—speaking of ‘Lucerys locked up during or post-Dance’ here is my new favorite for this trope. Possibly will surpass anything else at this rate it’s THAT good in writing style, characterization, and plot (not to mention the smut gahhhhhh), and it’s regularly updating! Pleeaaaase everyone read this.

hamartia by hypothesistest @goodbadbaby - Another omega!Aemond (and finished), but modern and full of catholic guilt. Chef's kiss!

tonight I'm gonna cut it out and restart by alphayamergo - Okay, so it's rhaenicent, but surprisingly in Otto's POV and I still loved it. That tells you how well this cute, hilarious one-shot is written, lol.

the loving needs the bleeding by monkkeyslut - Both rhaenicent and lucemond, modern horror inspired by the show 'Midnight Mass' and written by monkkeyslut so of course I just had to read it.

Nekonarashi by @chibifier - Filthy, noncon but also kind of funny??? Idk man, all I can say is this: Lucerys wearing cat ears & tail + Aemond in a business suit = yes

Nobody Nothing Nowhere by hypothesistest - definitely the darkest thing I've read in a while....I almost hesitate to flat out recommend it, even though it's written beautifully. All I can say is that the ending is SO satisfying and if you can handle a lot of sad underage/noncon content, the catharsis of the last chapter is more than a fic has made me feel in a while.

If you read any of these, remember to give the authors some love :) it's the biggest contribution we readers can make to keep this fandom going!!

#maybe i'll make another list for all the shadowgast i'm reading rn #not as much into hotd content in the last couple of months #but there's still lots of gems #my fic recs #lucemond #if i can tag more authors lemme know #ask me shit #edits made to this post

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beardedjoel · 27 days ago

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I LOVE SMOTHER! I'm so sad the end is nigh, but I really appreciate you sharing this story with us. Others have said it but the characters are so well-developed which I think is frankly incredible for a story as complex as this one, where you're writing on taboo topics and balancing creating a compelling, interesting narrative that is also hot and makes us all wanna scream :) This is what I'm talking about when I'm like... fan fic is literature. I've been reading a second time and gotta say you write the internal turmoil Joel and Blossom grapple with sooooo so so well, like especially as they navigate their dynamic in the first part of the series so far. You build it up so well that this second bit of the series has unfolded so effortlessly, although I know you put a lot of work into this and it is very much appreciated! In the beginning bits where Blossom is going back and forth in her mind about her desire and sense of comfort versus fear and hatred and anger (especially in the times where Joel loses it on her, especially in penitence). And Joel just clearly feeling like a piece of shit about a lot of stuff but also wanting so badly to protect and nourish what is possible for them. I could go on forever! It is all just so well done and now with the plot ramped up I am so excited for whatever happens next. I almost want him to be willing to let her go (very begrudgingly of course) but I'm also like... would he really ever let that happen? In my mind, they are HEA and he teaches her archery and even though she becomes more experienced in the ways of the world as time passes, she is still always his little innocent little princess 🥺P.S. I also truly do not mean this is an annoying disrespectful GIVE US MORE CONTENT way because I know it is terrible when people do that to authors and you truly have given us so much, but wanted to echo that what the one anon suggested about a one shot where Joel takes care of Blossom while she is sick fucked up my whole brain because we all know you writing Joel taking care of his girl makes our hearts stop in general, so him doing it when she is sick... like Joel gently cooling her down with a towel if she has a fever (but inevitably heating her up again 😏) , making sure she has the comfiest pair of PJs, playing with her hair or rubbing her back and not caring if he gets sick too... I CANNOT. I'm just glad someone put it in my head because it will be in my day dreams lmao😱 Thank you again for everything!

oh my god HI

literally how the heck am i supposed to respond when i'm literally still speechless at you taking the time to send me this! honestly, just thank you so much for loving joel and blossom and their story that i'm telling 😭 i think upon reflection you saying how the beginning was so tumultuous and kind of unsure that them finally finding their stride together really came at the right time. like you said, in a way it came about naturally and effortlessly to me as the storyteller cause it just made sense for things to progress like that in my mind!

and i do love the idea of joel being willing to let her go, it's kind of so tragically sad it eats at me in that angsty writer way haha. he may grapple with that some in the wake of what's happening right now, but like you said in the end that man would not be down to do that like AT ALL.

the one shot idea honestly is so cute. i've rolled it around in my mind, and if enough ever sticks so that i'm like yeah i could write a whole one shot around enough ideas for it to be fun to read for you all, i'll do it! i do plan to write one shots for them in the future as i'm inspired to so it's definitely not out of the realm of possibility! 🤍

anyways!!! thank you again so much. i'm always down to yap about smother anytime.

#ask

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blackjackkent · 7 months ago

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Heyyy, have you ever written your Hec and Karlach with the "blows up at the pier" ending? I am just not sure where to look for it lol but I always love imagining the "alt routes" but I understand if others are too sad to dip toes in

Oh man, anon coming in with the Big Feels out of nowhere. :D I love it. As per usual this got way longer than intended and very out of hand. XD

I have not written that before and it is indeed VERY sad to think about. But I am up for giving it a try! [rolls up sleeves, braces self]

(If you're interested, I also answered a similar version of this question a while back regarding Hector's life in a worldstate where Karlach got mind-flayered, which was ALSO sad. 😭 )

So anyway. Scenario, then: the brain fight didn't go super smoothly and Wyll is unconscious, so Hector is left with no other voice to save Karlach from her self-sacrifice.

-----

No one moves. The pier is suddenly deathly silent as the roaring of Karlach's engine falls to stillness. Hector sways unsteadily on his feet, clinging to the afterimages of the flame still burned into his eyes.

Don't breathe. Don't think. When you think, it will become real...

But there is no stopping it. Thinking is what he does best, after all. She taught him to live, for a while, to see the glory and goodness of the wide world outside the monastery, the bright intensity of its colors.

But she is gone, and he can see the grayscale already fading in again at the corners of his vision.

"No..." he whispers. His voice sounds choked in his throat. "No." Somehow he always believed, deep down, that something would come to save her, that they would find some way to make everything all right. "NO!" He falls to his knees, burying his fingers in the ashes; his palms blister in the lingering heat.

"NO. NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NO NO NONONONONONO!"

He's screaming, he realizes distantly. Sobbing too. Everything has snapped; every ounce of the control that he wears like armor has vanished. He feels detached from his body, unreal, numb with grief. The tears pour down his face, blinding him.

It isn't fair. After everything they have been through, everything Karlach suffered, it isn't fair that this is how she ended, without even a body to bury in the city she loved. It isn't fair that he will never hold her again, never feel her arms around him, never protect her and be protected by her, never see the world at her side, never... never... never...

The world is so cold without her warmth.

"Gods, please... please come back to me!" he howls into the uncaring ocean view. "I can't... I can't..."

The first paroxysm of anguish starts to fade. He collapses forward on his elbows and knees, his face pressed into his fists, and sobs.

In the monastery, they taught him there was no pain that discipline and prayer could not soothe. They were wrong. He knows now just how wrong they were.

"The Moonmaiden sees me… no grief nor pain nor fury shall wrest me from her path…" He whispers the mantra brokenly, instinctively, desperate for the comfort it has brought him in other moments. But there is no comfort to be found even in Selune's light, not for this.

He is alone.

But no... not completely alone. A hand touches his shoulder softly; a form crouches gently at his side. Shadowheart. He can see the sympathy in her eyes, the compassion and shared pain.

"Come here," she says softly, and opens her arms to him, as he did to her after the House of Grief. And as she did then, he falls sideways into her embrace, presses his face into her shoulder and cries bitterly. Her armor feels cold after the furnace heat of Karlach's destruction, but the hug is tight and fierce and she rocks gently side to side, holding him.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers.

His voice is hoarse, almost inaudible. "It hurts..."

"I know... I know..." She looks up. The others are watching at a distance - those who remain, anyway. Astarion is gone into the shadows, Lae'zel to the Astral. Gale is crouched by Wyll's unconscious body, but his eyes are fixed on the back of Hector's head, unblinking. Minsc, his face drawn tight with regret, is standing a little closer, Boo balanced on one fist.

And Jaheira closes with them, moving to sit on Hector's other side. The druid rests a hand on Hector's back just above where Shadowheart's arms hold him. "Silvanus guide the light to the source," she murmurs. "Take her to what she justly deserves. By nature's will, what was given is returned. What was turmoil is now peace..."

Hector draws a long, slow, shuddering breath.

"May the Moonmaiden's light follow her into the dark," Shadowheart says softly. Her voice is still a little unsteady on the Selunite prayer, but she knows Hector needs to hear it. "The silver light always at her back..."

He swallows, sits up slightly, not pulling away from either woman's touch. They are grounding him, drawing him back to himself, and his heart rate begins to calm, the sobs slowing to unsteady, hiccuping breaths. "Perhaps," he whispers hoarsely, "perhaps had I served Shar, it would be easier... I would be prepared for such loss..."

He can feel Shadowheart give a single, sharp shake of the head.

"Do not think it," Jaheira says, her voice low. "You would be empty. It is no better. The grief carries all the meaning of what was; it is the love with nowhere left to go. In time it will be bearable, cub."

He does not want it to be bearable. He wants it gone. He wants her back. He wants the hole in his heart filled back in.

"My Lady..." he whispers, squeezing his eyes shut. "See her soul as it travels outward. Take it where mine would go, I beg you."

Karlach once said that she liked the thought of her soul spreading out through the world, becoming part of it. He liked the thought too, for she was always full of life and loved the world so deeply, with such fierce devotion...

But he knows the truth, as it was taught to him. She will go to the Fugue Plane to be judged. And if no god fights for her soul, she will exist in limbo forever, trapped in another unending wasteland.

"Take her to you, My Lady... please. In my place, if you must, but do not leave her forgotten..."

----

Some months later, he and Jaheira travel at Withers' behest to a gathering outside the city.

It has been a good half-year, all things considered. The city is starting to rebuild, to regain some semblance of its former life. Hector has been hard at work among the Harpers, lending his strong back to building projects and his counsel to those in need of it.

He's filled out with new muscle and a sense of pride in the Gate. Jaheira has noted it more than once - with surprise, given that he once lived in such isolation from the city's life. But they both know, truly, where that pride stems from. Karlach could not live to see her city flourish again - so Hector must see it for her.

In his pocket always he carries the three copper coins Jaheira delivered to him a few days after the brain fell. Sometimes he listens to the message recorded on them. More often, he simply places a hand against them when the loneliness threatens to overwhelm him, feeling the soft warm buzz of the enchantment on them and imagining he can almost feel Karlach's touch.

Withers finds him wandering away from the party, late in the evening, and addresses him without preamble, grave as ever.

"Thou feelst it still," the skeleton says, with something oddly like kindness. "She is not here. She who means the most. Hast thy thoughts been with brave Karlach often?"

Yes. Of course they have. He doesn't speak of it much to Jaheira and the others, and he has tried to move on - and some days he can almost manage it. But her loss always sits in the back of his mind, inescapable. Every moment of victory bears its quiet reminder that she is not here to share it with him. Every failure brings the ache for her comfort and her warmth.

"I loved her so much," he says quietly. "It isn't fair."

"No," Withers says placidly. "It is not."

He feels a sudden tightness in the back of his throat. He has not spoken of her aloud for so many weeks, but Withers of all people coming to him with kindness brings the feelings rushing back, stinging into his eyes. "I don't know how I can go on without her," he mutters.

Withers's dessicated lips curl in a slight smile. "She battled in Avernus, fueled on naught but hope," he says. "And that hope came to become truth. In but a dozen tendays, an entire life was lived. More than mortal years-- mortal centuries were hers." He gives a slow nod in acknowledgment of Hector's grief. "Thou might endure a great eon of mourning. But thou must hope, as once she did. Her life... her happiness... was you."

Great, now he really is going to cry. That strain in his throat is rapidly forming into a lump that makes it difficult to speak. "And she was mine..." he whispers.

"Thy life was hers for a while," Withers says gently. "It is now thine again. Live it well." He reaches out a hand and rests it on Hector's shoulder. It is light and skeletal and bears no warmth, but it goes with the intensity Withers suddenly has in his expression.

"In the Fugue Plane," he says, "her soul burns so bright, it pains the gods to look upon. Recall that in time, all changeth and all is rejoined. Thou shalt be with her again."

Hector feels something tight come loose in his chest, and he nods unsteadily. These are not empty words; this is Jergal speaking, not Withers. This is, perhaps, the only voice available to him that could tell him truly what he needs to know - that Karlach is not lost to him, nor beaten into dim submission by the wasteland of the Fugue.

She is still bright. And she is waiting for him. And one day, when he has brought her city back to life, he will go to find her.

#hector carlisle #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #karlach #karlach cliffgate #tav x karlach #karlach x tav #karlach bg3 #bg3 drabble #bg3 fic #WELLP I'M FULL OF FEELS AND DIDN'T GET ANY WORK DONE TODAY #XD #things i love:#a) anon for sending me this unprompted <3 #b) that everyone calls Hector Hec in asks #c) that this somehow ended up LESS sad than the squidlach variant #d) withers <3 <3 <3 #this is all still very sad though and hector would like me to remind everyone that this is not canon XD #and that he and karlach are off for real killing devils in avernus and making out every chance they get :P

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writers-vlogx · 2 years ago

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Rafa x male reader

ohhh rafa would be a fucking mess if he found himself crushing and obsessing over another man

(Rafa is a Latino man in the 80s, and he is also involved in one of the most violent businesses that exist, he is not the best dealing with liking your own sex)i can see rafa going throw a rollercoaster of emotions while feeding his obsession , yeah he doesn't understand why he wants you but hell he is not gonna let that get in his way

rafa is usually very upfront about what he wants but this is new as fuck for him so i can see him trying to persue you in an akwardly defensive way,you would need to make some moves towards him

hear me once he wrapped his head about being into men he

would kneel for you, my man can't fight how in love he is.

I see him shutting down any kind of hateful comment you get "haber pinches pendejos que vergas dijeron" he would not let anyone, including felix, give him shit he is ready to shoot anyone in the face if they disrespect you

OMFG ANON REVEAL YOURSELF TO ME WITH THAT AMAZING BRAIN YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH, BEING A MAN WHO LOVED RAFA FROM THE MOMENT I SAW HIM WAS A STRUGGLE THERE WAS NO CONTENT FOR HIM LOVING MEN, BUT ITS OKAY YOU AND I HAVE THE SAME VISION SO ILL DO IT MYSELF 😌😌

Imagine Rafael caro quintero finding out he's gay

Okay mf's strap in because I could and will write multiple parts if I have too, also side note and I mean it, you have any idea you want me to create? Send it! I don't care how weird or stupid, funny, sad scary you might think it is send it to me! Because when I get requests like these I know that people want to see the same content I want to write, it was something I never planned to post because I thought no one wanted to see it, just goes to show if you communicate with me I'll answer back so PLEASE don't be shy, we need more representation everywhere!!

I am so sorry that was suppose to be short but now for what yall are REALLY here for

Rafael caro quintero liking men? Oh the poor man is confused, like these are the 80's and he's in the most fucking dangerous business to just wake up one day and realize "oh sh*t I like men"

He meets you through the cartel of course, working with you always leaves him feeling something...strange, he thought he just liked who you were, after all you were funny, nice company and you could get the job well done

He thought that was it for a long time, I mean you were a great business partner and a great friend too, you would always listen to him when he had any sort of problem, and would stop him from GETTING into a problem more times than he could have counted. You were always up to drink but always stopped him whether he liked it or not so he could still be coherent enough to not be absolutely wasted, and on the rare occasion he was? You always made sure he got home safe, either sending him home or taking him yourself

When he needed a place to stay your doors were always open and when he fucked up really bad, like the type of bad you don't come back from? Somehow you always found it in yourself to let him back in

You were a best friend to him, someone he could truly rely on no matter what, so why did he still feel so sad everytime you had to leave? Or angry when you wouldn't contact him for days, and absolutely enraged when he saw girls trying to hit on you at social events?

He thought he was just watching out for you, for the longest time he made the excuses of "es que quiero lo mejor para ti compadre" or "No guey es que créeme que me lo vas a agradecer luego" and "Yo sabré quien es bueno para ti, porque aquí no hay nada más que pinches zorras"

He always had a weird warm feeling in his chest when you would place your hand on his shoulder, or when you hugged him after a favor or a really tough time and god the things he did so that he could feel that touch again

I think the changing point in his feelings would hit him like a train...nah nah more like a yacht because man when he does, he just...absolutely looses his mind like I'm talking physically you can see him age like 20 years

The point of no return happened in a very drastic way and unexpected too, like I can see him just finding out about a new girl who your "messing" around with and just absolutely exploding with rage and betrayal

Let's say your over at his house, you guys are alone a couple of beers in the table and the music playing in the background when you start talking about this really pretty girl your seeing lately, nothing to serious but it's the way you talk about her and how pretty her smile is and how perfect she looks he can just feel the anger bubbling up inside him because when he sees the smile in your face he just can't stand it.

you should be talking about him that way telling HIM how handsome he is, how much you love him, and he can't stand it anymore he feels like if he sits for just one more minute he's gonna die

So he yells out something he didn't mean to say, something that only he knew. The things he wish he could say to you "Pues ya guey ya esta bueno!" No rafa shut up " "Ya no chinges guey!" No don't say anything you'll regret "No necesito estar escuchando tanta chingadera de tu parte" Shut the fuck up now don't go any further he felt so angry he grabbed at your neck slowly tightening it as he kept talking

And then it stops, all of his anger turns into dread, because he realized what he said to you honestly it would shock you, to find that he felt about you that way and it would take a lot of talking, and feeling vulnerable emotions for yall to work it out

But when he has wrapped his head around the whole ordeal and he's finally established what yall are, no one and I mean absolutely no one disrespects yall

When he first comes to Felix and explains it, he leaves very clear the fact that he will not take bullshit from anyone. Not even Felix, he talks and makes his point very clear, absolutely no one is brave enough to say anything, those that do end up dead within seconds.

His love for you however would be so gentle, having been through so much, and living with such a dangerous life he's happy to have found someone who he can rely on, and honestly if he finds that anyone said anything to you, oh he's looking for blood.

You can have the man at the palm of your hand, but please remember he's been through so much, he really needs someone who will be ever so gentle with him, and will deal with all the shit he brings along with him. It's not easy especially while being gay but your love for each other and the fact that yall are in one if not the most dangerous fields ever makes yall unstoppable. A little extra story- Rafa almost killed Felix the day he decided to call you the F slur as a "joke"

Like just imagine angry rafa being like "FELIX HIJO DE TU CHINGADA MADRE AHORA SI YA VALISTE VERGA CABRON" also "NO SE TE VUELVA A OCCURIR DECIRLE HACI A EL OH ESTA VEZ SI TE MATO GUEY" and let me tell you he never made such mistake again, when I tell you rafa is dangerous I MEAN IT.

#tenoch huerta #rafa caro quintero #rafael caro quintero x you #rafael caro quintero x reader #rafael caro quintero x male reader #male reader #narcos mexico imagine #narcos mexico x you #narcos mexico x reader #narcos mexico #rafael caro quintero #rafa caro quintero x reader #narcos x reader

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crawlincreepz · 2 years ago

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It's so refreshing to see creepypasta stuff again after, like, 12 years lol. It's nostalgic.

I've recently been super into Lost Silver again, got so into it that I wrote a whole character sheet for my version of gold, and found your Headcanons while looking through some stuff! I love them very much. I didn't think many other people had the HC that he's definitely ANGRY alongside sad. It's super believable to me. I love all of your HCs for him. They're super good.

Would you feel like blessing us with some more sometime?? I haven't seen HCs that aren't x reader, and yours are just great. I'd love to hear more about the boy!!

anon you have no idea how much this made my day!1 i’m so glad ppl agree with the whole angry gold HC, he 100% has anger issues.

now, here are some more Lost Silver headcannons.

We’ve already gone over how angry Gold feels with himself and how stupid he feels for treating life so selfishly. Poor guy really needs therapy. (Is there such a thing as ghost therapy..?)

Gold has an unusual obsession with rainy weather. He’s a glitch! You’d expect him to hate water, but no! The sounds are therapeutic to him, also the pokémon like it as well. It’s one of the only times he allows his mind to rest.

He’s not threatening toward people. Gold has no intentions of hurting others, as he believes his demise was his fault and his fault alone. Why should others pay for his foolishness? Don’t get me wrong, Lost Silver is a powerful entity, but just because the boy died doesn’t mean he’s lost all of his morals. ..Maybe he’s lost a few, but come on. I’m trying to say Gold doesn’t kill like his other creepypasta “friends”. He’s capable of doing so, but doesn’t see the point in it.

His voice is more gravely and echo-y side. Not deep, but definitely not normal. It almost sounds like he’s talking in a big empty room on the rare occasion Gold actually talks. It’s a bit uncomfortable to listen to at first, with how unsettling it sounds, but you’ll get used to it.

Well, since we’re on the topic! On the rare events Gold would talk, it would be in one-to-two-word responses usually. I would say it’s not because he doesn’t want to talk to you but come on, we all know he absolutely despises talking to people he doesn’t know. Often he will scare others with how quiet he is. Gold could have been in the room for hours before you found out he was even there! Really, it’s terrifying. Even if you ask him: “How long have you been there?!”, he would give some unhelpful ass answer. “Long enough.” Like, what the fuck does that mean, man?!

It’s kinda funny, though.

On a sad note, Gold often “lets” his emotions get the best of him. There are times late at night when you can’t stop the angry torment in your mind. He can’t help but wail endlessly into the void until his throat gives out, unable to do anything else but scream out every bit of emotion left in his body. They always sound angry, his cries of regret and intense pain for the fate he thought he could escape. After all these years, he’s never going to accept that death indeed caught up to him. No matter how hard the boy tried, he could never escape the inevitable. Now he must pay the price.

After his death, Gold never really focused on wanting a partner. He’s aware he’s too emotionally unavailable for one. It wouldn’t be a healthy relationship with Gold, and he knows that. Maybe one day, if he ever gets his shit together, that is. But we all know it will be quite a while before that. Plus, he can barely make friends with his attitude! How in the world would he get a partner?

Game nights between Gold and Glitchy Red are incredibly chaotic. Seriously, never be in the same room as them on a game night. You’ll hear insults you never knew EXISTED, and god forbid they pull out Mario Kart or Smash Bros. One of the only times Gold has zero problems talking... *Shivers.*

Gold totally always wins in Smash bros, BTW. Red hates it.

#lost silver #creepypasta #headcannons #lost silver headcanons #creepypasta headcannons #pokepasta #glitchy red #pokémon #gold

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bropunzeling · 1 year ago

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For director's commentary, anything you care to share for marriage bets, please and thank you! (They reach such breathtaking heights of stupidity, god I love them.)

ty anon! i love these absolute losers too. for you, the section from the spain chapter (my fave chapter 😊) where matthew says he's leaving calgary:

They settle up the tab, then start on their walk back to the hotel. As they walk, they stay close enough together that their elbows bump every other step [i loved writing the constant physical contact in this section. it does a lot of things: show you what kind of person leon is (demonstrative!); get at their increasing comfort with each other; it's also like, when you're with someone long distance, you do get more touchy feely than normal (or at least that was really the case in my experience!)], while Leon tells him more about his childhood, about where he grew up. Matthew comes away with only a hazy impression of Cologne itself, but a much clearer one of Leon’s family. Learning to skate surrounded by his dad’s teammates. Having Kim send him song suggestions when he got homesick as a teenager in Saskatchewan. Cooking lessons with his mom, most of which went badly, but a few things turned out okay.

Mostly, Matthew can see how much Leon likes them. Even though he must only get to see them for snatches of time, a few weeks a year. [i love the family/distance/loneliness themes in this fic a lot and i especially love it as a form of common ground for them to start building a real relationship. i may have said before but there was some post-trade quote from daryl sutter about matthew seeming lonely/spending all his time at the rink that really really informed this fic and the themes, and having the compare/contrast with leon was a nice like, foundational thing to build on]

“You must miss them,” Matthew says during a break in Leon’s recollections, as they wait for a crosswalk light to turn.

“I…” Leon trails off, then shrugs. “I mean, it’s been hard,” he says. “Pretty much always, but especially with—you know.”

“Yeah,” Matthew says. He does know. Even though there was only half the distance between himself and his own family, he knows. [they have more in common than they think! they can relate to each other!] He looks at the light on the other side of the street, focusing on the red man stopping them from stepping onto empty pavement. [spent [redacted] amount of time looking up spanish crosswalk signals like do they ALSO have the little red man in the hat?] “Do you ever think about moving back? Being closer?”

“And give up NHL hockey?” Leon clicks his tongue as he shakes his head. “No way. I want to play with guys at my level, you know?” [trade offs and what you'll do for what you want - another eternal theme in the jess bropunzeling catalog]

“No, no, I know,” Matthew says quickly. “But if that wasn’t an issue? Would you?”

This time, Leon sighs. “I don’t know,” he finally says. “Maybe.” [leon is lonely too!!!! when i was restarting this fic again (i had finished approximately the first two chapters and then took a 6 months hiatus for girl!leon reasons) and trying to figure out the flow, figuring out this aspect of leon's characterization for the fic really unlocked somrthing for me, because i needed a reason for them to want to continue besides sexual attraction, and once this hit me i was like duh!!! he's lonely, and this flirtation/connection to matthew is assuaging that loneliness]

The light turns. They start crossing. Matthew does his best not to stagger as all the drinks they’ve been having catch up with him.

Once they’ve crossed the street, Leon clears his throat. Matthew looks over at him, but Leon’s looking ahead. “It’s like,” he says, frowning in concentration. “Edmonton is good, right? Like, the guys, Connor and Ryan and Tyson and everyone—they’re great. The best.” [i was writing this around the time tyson barrie got traded and leon was SO SAD in his depression beige ensemble that i was like more tyson! it all needs more tyson!which then led to another fave scene of leon drunk dialing matthew from darnell's wedding] Matthew thinks about interrupting, saying something about his own impressions of Oilers past and present, but that would ruin the moment, and he doesn’t want to ruin it. “And I’ve been—it’s been good, the team, and everything. But.” Leon shrugs. “It’s not a good town to be alone in.” [no shade to the city of edmonton but there is not enough sunlight in the winter imo] [also like. being a pillar of the team in THAT town and not having someone else who gets it and can support you (without being a teammate, who would only be intimately tied to your struggle/unable to see things from the outside)? it would suck! i think!]

Matthew should say something. He doesn’t know what. He settles for swaying closer to Leon, for bringing them back into contact again. [touch touch touch] Judging by the way Leon doesn’t move away, that’s enough.

“So,” Leon says. “I don’t know. If there was an option to play closer to home… maybe.”

Matthew nods. Puts one foot carefully in front of the other, trying not to trip and stumble. Walking down the sidewalk, in a city he’s never been to before and may never visit again, his shoulder brushing against Leon’s with every other step, he has that soap bubble feeling again of suspension, impermanence. Like he’s somewhere where none of the rules matter, where he can say the things he’s been thinking about for weeks and they won’t become real yet. [i just like this paragraph a lot! that feeling of being somewhere unreal because it's late and you're drunk and sharing big secrets]

Things like: “I’m leaving.”

There’s a pause. Then, Leon says, in a tone Matthew doesn’t think he could decipher even if he were sober, “You’re leaving here early?” [poor leon is panicking so bad here and trying so hard not to show it]

Matthew shakes his head, hard enough that his vision spins. “No, no, not here. I mean—I’m leaving Calgary.” [also tipsy conversations are great for those little moments of miscommunication because the drunk mind really does make those leaps, so you can believably have people say one thing and have it interpreted another way without it being obnoxious]

Leon exhales, hard. “Oh.”

Another pause. Matthew looks up at where the palm trees are swaying and the stars are beginning to blink into appearance; stops when he starts to get dizzy. Fuck, they drank a lot tonight. When he stumbles, something catches him before he can eat it on the pavement. Leon’s hand, warm around his elbow. [TOUCH TOUCH TOUCH also like, leon just thrives in supportive boyfriend mode. he wants to be Supportive Boyfriend Leon so bad.] That makes it easier to explain. “I wasn’t—I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Most of this season, to be honest. But I wanted to get through the playoffs first. Wanted to—we were good, me and Johnny, and Lindy, and Marky. Solid. We could’ve—but we didn’t. And then I was—it’s really sucked, the last couple years. Not being able to go home, or see my family, or do anything, you know? All I have in Calgary is hockey, and we didn’t measure up.” He shrugs. Leon keeps holding on, which is—nice. “So. I’m gonna leave.”

They take a few more steps in silence. When Leon speaks, it’s very quiet. “Do you know where you’re going to go?”

Matthew shrugs again. “Not sure yet. East, probably. Tampa. Florida. Carolina. Maybe even St. Louis. I haven’t decided.” [catch me spending so much time reading that article in the athletic about how the trade went down just to inform this one paragraph]

Leon hums. Matthew imagines he can feel it, from somewhere deep in Leon’s chest traveling down his arm and up Matthew’s, until it finds a home in his ribs. [is this a little flowery? maybe, but i like it so it stayed] “It’ll be different. Not playing against you as much.”

That startles a laugh out of Matthew. “Yeah, I’m sure you’ll hate it. Battle of Alberta is going to be way more boring.” [flirt flirt flirt. in all seriousness though, i like this as a tension break, obviously, but also like - leon expressing something he means (bc he's very straightforward) and matthew treating it lightly/as an opportunity for a joke/to break the tension is just a nice way to demonstrate how they're far apart, still, in how they understand their relationship to each other. but also flirt flirt flirt]

“Maybe that’ll be nice,” Leon says lightly. “I could do with fewer bruises.” [you love the bruises you horny freaks]

“Come on, don’t lie. You’re gonna miss having me there.” Matthew grins, then feels it fade as what he’s said sinks in. Leon knows now. Leon could tell—someone. “Fuck, now you’ll have an advantage. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.” He stops talking, squinting at the streetlights. “Why am I telling you this?” [i love this beat too! matthew tells leon his secrets almost without meaning to bc acknowledge it or not they trust each other now]

Leon’s hand tightens around his elbow, then loosens again. “I don’t know. Because I’m your husband, I guess?” [trying so hard to seem casual but he is sosososo not casual]

“Not a good one,” Matthew says, unable to stop himself from teasing.

“Hey.” On his next step, Leon bangs his shoulder straight into Matthew’s, hard enough to nearly send him off the sidewalk and into the street. [flirty! and yet again - physical contact bc theyre together and can do that now] The only reason he doesn’t fall over is because of Leon’s grip on his arm. “This trip was my idea, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, because you were an asshole to me,” Matthew points out as he rights himself. [matthew is gonna milk that as much as he can lol] “It’s gonna take more than a nice vacation to make up for that.”

“Yeah?” Now Leon’s hand is sliding, traveling down to Matthew’s wrist, and then further, to wrap around his palm. [i love people holding hands bc i am a sap] “What else do I have to do, then?”

Matthew hums as loudly and obnoxiously as possible, [it is so important to me that they are both so obnoxious even when having important romantic moments] flexing his hand, testing Leon’s grip. “I’ll think about it.”

Leon laughs, but doesn’t let go. “You do that.”

“I will.” Matthew nods. “Gonna give you a—fuck, what’s the word. Fair shot.”

“That’s generous.”

“I’m a generous guy.” [i love banter!!!! for a romcom to romcom there must be banter!!!!! it's why the questions and the spain sequence were so fun to write]

“Even if it might help me win?” [OK so ORIGINALLY i did not have this line or the next exchange in my first draft, bc one of the things i was trying to do in this whole second half of the fic (from leon's apology up until leon's attempt to actually propose) was have you, the reader, and matthew, the pov character, just -- forget about the bet. it needed to seem and feel realer and realer, because what was happening between them was turning into a real relationship with a true sense of connection and honesty and sincerity, so (a) you get where leon is coming from with the proposal (bc his feelings are real! it's real to him! it has been for months! he thinks matthew would say yes!) and (b) MATTHEW can suddenly remember the bet and react so so badly because he wants that sincerity so much and thinks it was never there, and then you get him telling leon he won the bet and it all comes crashing down :)

the point being: i didn't have this and then my beta was like are you gonna bring up the bet??? because i keep forgetting there's a bet, and i was like okay i am maybe doing my job too well, we can have ONE more mention before the build up in chapters 7 and 8]

It takes a moment for the chirp to register. When it does, there’s a second where Matthew’s not sure what to say. He keeps forgetting about that part, the part where it’s a competition. There’s something about being here that’s made it slip his mind. [and this is why my beta was right bc then i can point to my own tricks hohoho] The wine, maybe, or the weather. Or Leon’s fingers, warm around Matthew’s hand. [also i just like these two sentences. hand holding!]

“Even then,” Matthew says. Adds, “But you’re not gonna win.” [competitive freaks in love :)]

Leon’s laugh is startled, pleased. Or at least, Matthew thinks it is. He’s pretty sure. “We’ll see about that.” [and he DOES win. he's a great husband :)]

#ask meme #marriage bets

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