#also 30 fics on ao3 this year! that's neat! that's cool!

[allsassnoclass]

2021 Writing Self-Evaluation

Hello all! I saw this tag game in another fandom and thought some writers in this corner (including me) might enjoy it!  My answers got kind of long so lots of them are under the keep reading!

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: as of tonight, 30 for this year!

2. Word count posted for the year: 132,751 on ao3, but if I add everything I solely posted on tumblr this year as well the total is 181,198 (i wrote a lot more prompt fics than i thought!!! wowza!!!!)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: 5sos, 911, One Direction, All Time Low

4. Pairings: mashton, malum, cashton, lashton, muke, roylum, mirry, zouis, jalex, 5sos ot4, and buddie on ao3, but i also did a cake prompt on tumblr!

5. Story with the most Kudos/Bookmarks/Comments: kudos are my two buddie fics, lighthouse in the storm and One True Thing, but coming in third is Kiss Me (x3)!  For bookmarks it’s the same but with the first two swapped, and for comment threads we have 1. One True Thing, 2. if we make it through december, and 3. unmute

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): if we make it through december!!!! this fic is my longest one so far, and i’m really, really proud of the quality.  i think i did a good job being intentional with my storytelling, and i think the writing style worked for the story, plus i pulled off a nice extended metaphor!  i’m planning on doing a director’s cut for it to talk about it more, but i’m also really proud of myself simply for finishing it early and giving it time to rest before i edited!  it was my nano project and i Struggled some days, but ultimately the fic got finished and turned out great.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): i’m proud of all of my works in different ways and i don’t really want to focus on negatives, but i really wish i had gotten further in unmute.  i initially didn’t want to go over a month without updating, and that definitely isn’t what happened and i honestly feel really bad and unhappy about it.  the story itself is good, but it’s really not good for reader engagement to go this long between updates, and honestly it feels like this fic is hanging over my head at every moment. the thought that i might still be writing it in a year is not a happy one to me

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: honestly, every review of if we make it through december has been really nice.  i didn’t expect anyone to cry! and five people told me they did! jess also simply said “absolutely no words” which was neat, and team said “this story changed me” which was also neat.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: there were a few for different reasons!  during the summer, i just genuinely had no time to do it, which was upsetting because i wanted to, but circumstances weren’t letting me. i started bringing a little notebook around with me so i could write fic at work while the kids were doing arts and crafts.  i also struggled the two weeks before halloween.  i had the halloween fic event to complete, and it was a Struggle to do so.  I simply didn’t have the right combination of the time-inspiration-motivation triangle, but I had to get the story out

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: i wasn’t really expecting to write zouis, but they snuck in there right at the end! OH ALSO THE FIRST ROYLUM FIC WAS THIS YEAR. that was on january 3 i think. when i woke up on that day i did not anticipating writing roylum but i did! and i also wrote another one for them later!

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: i really like the third to last scene of if we make it through december, but i can’t copy/paste it without spoiling things.  i’m also really bad at picking favorite excerpts.  i have a few that i like but otherwise i think most of my stuff is neutral-good

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: honestly, i churned out a lot of words this year! i think i got better at persisting in my writing.  i know that quantity shouldn’t be my focus, but i have so many ideas that i want to write, and it frustrates me that not all of them will get written, so it makes me happy when i do write a lot!  i think i also have stretched different writing muscles this year, branching out a bit more with what i write (whether it’s pairing, genre, or trope) and i like that.  i also honestly have gotten a lot better at not comparing myself to others. there are other writers who are more popular than me and that’s just how it is! and there are writers who are able to produce a lot more (and longer) work than me and that’s also just how it is!  and i can’t let myself be too upset when specific works of mine don’t get traction. this is something that i still struggle with, but i’ve gotten better at it this year, and i hope to keep getting better next year!

13. How do you hope to grow next year: besides not comparing myself to other people, i want to stretch even more muscles!!! write more different tropes and different pairings (like a non-ficmas muke on my ao3!!! i want that to happen!)!! versatility! i also would like to be a little bit gentler on myself when it comes to my writing productivity.  i shouldn’t let how much i write dictate how much i’m enjoying writing. also, i’m not sure this is exactly an area for growth, but i would love to write all the prompts sitting in my inbox right now and be able to clear that

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): I’ve really enjoyed @squishmichael and @lukemichaelcalumashton’s presence this year!  It’s really nice having two writers who also love the pairings that i do to a high degree, and taylor and monse are both very supportive and leave very nice comments :)  i’ve also really enjoyed talking through aus with @igarbagecannoteven!!! megs is a great sounding board and i love talking through ideas with her, plus she’s typically one of my earliest kudos on a work and i really like seeing her ao3 handle in my kudos notifications <3

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: yeah, lots of little things that i probably can’t remember! i stole some inspiration from a rough day at my job for this installment of college mashton, and i sometimes sprinkle little real life things in my writing (like luke’s family shoveling his neighbor’s sidewalk because she’s elderly in if we make it through december, or luke’s socks in the cake prompt).

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: you do genuinely get better with practice!  keep writing! try different tropes and styles!  but also, it’s a good idea to do some reading, too, which i know is what everyone says, but i get into a writing mode and then don’t read anything (fic or novels) for weeks.  it’s good to remind yourself what other people’s writing sounds like, especially if they’re a professional, because it can show you some elements that you might want to improve or add to your own writing

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I have a single parent au that i need to finish by may! i really enjoy single parent aus and this one will be relatively easy i just haven’t worked on it for a few months.  I also am excited about the mashton dance au!!!!! i have a particular fake dating fic that i’d love to write, and i think it’d be very cool if i managed to finish the ghost au finally.  i also might not finish unmute (in an ideal world i definitely would, but i’m also trying to be realistic), but i hope i get to a particular chapter that i’ve been looking forward to writing since i started outlining.  looking at this list i don’t know if all of these will get done but i think it sure would be cool if they did!

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. there’s a lot of awesome writers in this corner of tumblr so i hope to see this on my dash a lot, but for now i tag anyone who wants to do it, @clumsyclifford, @daydadahlias, @squishmichael, @lukemichaelcalumashton, @igarbagecannoteven and @lifewasradical to start out (only if you guys want to!)

[teaveetamer]

Have you seen that one recent Twitter thread about the FE3H AO3 analysis? There are some obvious issues with the representative quality of some of the numbers, but I still thought it was interesting. I haven't seen any Tumblr posts about it (at least not in These Circles™) and I thought that you might be the most appropriate person for something like this, but apologies if this is an annoyance. twitter (.) com/castamyre/status/1552034998643048449

Very interesting, thank you! Not an annoyance at all, though if you told me a year ago that I'd be the one people send statistical analysis to I probably wouldn't have believed you lmao. I'll drop the clickable link here so people dont' have to copy+paste

Some of these numbers are just fluff, like new words/authors since last year, and I would have liked to see a little more in depth comparison (e.g. how many new authors were there from 2019-2020, 2020-2021, and then 2021-2022) because just saying "there's x number of new authors now" doesn't really mean anything for comparison sake... if you leave something like this long enough then yes it's absolutely going to see an increase in word count/number of authors/etc. 1000 new authors sounds impressive but if it's compared to, idk say 6,000 in the first year it's a lot less so. The more interesting info to me is "how many authors is that compared to last year?"

Same deal with kudos. I'd love to see a comparison like "here was the median kudos for fics posted in 2019 vs the median for fics posted in 2021". The average and median here is going to be heavily skewed by early fics which naturally would have gotten much more kudos because there was much more activity. A median kudos stat for each ship would have been cool to see as well, because the kudos environment for different ships is so completely different it's really not fair to compare them. You're never going to post, like, a Dimitri/Balthus fic and get 50 kudos without some outside factors (like having other more visible ships tagged as well or being posted to an event/kink meme/whatever). Or kudos broken down by rating??? A G or T rated fic is not going to pull the same numbers as an E rated fic, that's just fact. As is, median kudos is basically a neat number, but it doesn't really tell me anything.

Also funny how the charts start out with "THE FANDOM IS NOT DYING" but aside from a small spike in February and an uptick in July the graph literally shows only ~20 new fics per... what is that, month? Week? On average. I wish the graph was more finely grained, it's hard to see what's going on when it only marks every third month. Assuming I'm even reading the thing right, because honestly it makes my brain hurt a little to look at it

I probably would have used the date posted instead of the date updated too, or I would have done one chart for each. Date updated naturally favors the latter half of the graph because longfics, multichaptereds, etc. could have been posted early but not finished or updated until months or even years later. It might also catch fics with only minor updates (since I believe AO3 does mark them with a new update date, even if it doesn't move it to the top of the archive). Date posted would be much more descriptive of when new fics are actually being added to the archive.

I'd say the rest of this data isn't really that surprising. I do honestly doubt that Shez is going to be moving up into the upper eschelons of characters written about though, considering Three Hopes is a spinoff and at least from what I've seen the fan reception has not been all that great. Maybe it's better in the more transformative minded fandom, buuuuuut IDK.

Also yay, Dimidue isn't in the top 30 least horny ships! And LMAO at Catherine, Shamir, and Rhea being the top three gayest ladies. And Dedue sliding into second for gayest dudes.

Obviously it doesn't really mean much (I mean, of course Catherine is the gayest chick when her only two ships of note are with Shamir and Rhea, and of course Ferdie is the gayest dude when his biggest ship is with Hubert and that ship makes up like 90% of Ferdie ship content) but it is hilarious.

[remythologise]

Hello! I found your blog via you amazingly summarizing all that's going on with the spn drama. Due to my schedules, rl stuff, some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me, my availability to find a place to watch...the rollercoaster I was used to with this fandom was more me binging it in a weekend to going months to over a year without watching it. I still haven't watched the last season(but with a fandom this big it's pretty impossible not be spoiled so I more or less know what happened) BUT oh great one I ask of thee for more information if you have it...other than being busy and whatnot, I'm not really one to keep up with the actors as well. So could you also maybe do a summary of all the stans? I'im seeing terms I haven't seen before. Who is Kelios(sp?)? Hellions?? probably messed it up but like...I guess what are the name of each legion? Who do they have alliance towards? What was their desires? Que paso?!?!?!?

Hi there! 'Some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me' me emotionally quitting Supernatural in Season 7 after they killed Castiel 😂 Anyway I totally get it, I went through the same culture shock mid-last year when I got back into SPN and tried to find where fandom was at! There's really a LOT of lore and content after 15 years though so I'll just do the broad brushstrokes based on my impressions and personal stereotypes PLEASE remember this is oversimplifying groups and individuals to tendencies and I'm very biased! Also important that there are sub-factions within sub-factions - again, I'm simplifying here!

I've also linked to the 'Super-wiki' in terms of some definitions because the Super-wiki has pages for them where the Fandom-wiki does not. Great introduction actually - only in the Supernatural fandom. There are two Supernatural wikis. One, through curation and twitter activity, supports BiBro/Wincest factions and does not support Destiel users. One is more neutral or Destiel-friendly (I don't know that the Fandom wiki has a personality/social media presence per se). You cannot make this up. There is a factional war... within use of fandom wikis.

Destiel faction

People who primarily ship Dean/Cas, love Castiel and (often, although not always) Jack, and the 'found family' of Supernatural as well as the brothers, and like the post s3 seasons too. Hated 15.19 and 15.20 for killing Dean and ignoring the other characters/narrative arc of the show. Nicknamed 'Destihellers' by the Wincest faction as a derogatory term, 'reclaimed' and shortened as 'Hellers', a nickname they use affectionately to describe each other. See more info on nicknames here.

Sometimes also ship ‘Cockles’ (the ship between Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles) although generally speaking they're more respectful of the wives of the actors than J2 shippers, who are notoriously responsible for... a vast series of insane-fan misdemeanours. Historically most were also good at keeping RPF to themselves and not harassing celebrities with it directly, although recently, particularly with younger twitter fans, that has not been the case.

Sub-factions:

The ‘Desticule’ or ‘Destiel tumblr’ - general grouping of Destiel-shipping tumblr users around 20-30 years old, usually LGBT+, most who came back to the show post-15.18 after leaving it for various reasons including getting sick of the queerbaiting. Funniest bitches alive etc. and responsible for the best text posts you’ve ever seen. Can also start stupid discourse and in-group drama when they’re bored.

'POLOL' - People of Lots of Letters, a discord group (of tumblr and twitter users) that ran on the assumption Andrew Dabb was playing a hugely intricate game of 3D chess to do with gnostic symbolism among other things, and would make Destiel canon. Have since had their own factional sub-wars and fallen apart a bit. Some of their meta was and is good and interesting! Some of it was wildly off the mark. Now generally insist that Dabb/the writers were all pushing for Destiel canon and the network is entirely to blame.

Twitter fans (TikTok edition) - younger fans around 18 and younger who (FOR REASONS BEYOND ME) started watching the show around 2018-2020. Definition of 'stans'. Tend to be very loud and aggressive on twitter when Events Happen, which like. I do get, because they've grown up in a completely different media environment and this kind of Dinosaur Politicking around LGBT+ issues is beyond them. Fancam central. Anyway stream #CASTIEL for clear skin!

Twitter fans (AO3 edition) - older fans around 30+ who kept going with the show but either don't have a large tumblr presence or just prefer twitter. A lot of fic writers, GISH-ers, and BNFs in this group. Some of them are very cool and reasonable in their opinions, some of them act like the younger stans. Some of them too accepting of what happened wrt 15.19-20 in my opinion, because, in contrast to the younger twitter stans, they grew up expecting Destiel to NEVER be canon or respected. 'Can't believe we got this far' etc.

Multiship faction

Multishippers or shippers of things not as large as the two main behemoths . Sub-factions based on shipping, e.g. Megstiel and Sastiel. I don't think these groups are very large though, and seem to have very little influence in the Discourse.

Wincest faction

LARGE overlap with the 'BiBro' faction and their opinions, which I'll get to. Ship Sam and Dean romantically. Often pretend to be BiBros on places like twitter and reddit in order for outside groups to take their opinions more seriously. 'Wincesties' etc. are derogatory nicknames given by the Destiel faction.

Sub-factions:

Multiship fans - ship Sam and Dean but respect Castiel/the 'found family'. Politically overlap with the faction of multishippers, I think. I don't have a lot of insight on this group of people honestly, but I know they exist.

Bronlies - the typical BiBro and 'Wincest' shippers most people think of, twitter user 'Kelios' is one of the would-be ringleaders of this faction - typically tend to be older white midwestern women. Historically have been pretty nasty on twitter (leading to Robert Berens, writer who made Destiel canon, occasionally subtweeting Kelios). Also tend to ship 'J2' - and take it very seriously as a legitimate thing that is really real. This is called 'tinhatting'.

BiBro faction

People who think the show should JUST be about the brothers, love Supernatural s1-3 and everything after it should have been just like Supernatural s1-3. Hate Castiel, Jack, and the 'found family'. Largely loved 15.20. Go to literally any comments section on any Supernatural article and You Will Find Them complaining about how the show should just be about the Brothers. Tend to be older, straighter, and more conservative/Republican (and male) fans. (I am aware that the definition of 'BiBro' used to refer to people who just liked the brothers but there's no definitional difference now in the discourse.) The Wincest and BiBro faction are generally much more wealthy than the Destiel faction (they being younger and more diverse/queer/left-leaning in general) and would be the biggest revenue generators at conventions etc.

Sub-factions:

Reddit bros - literally anyone who visits r/supernatural. Well, that's not fair - there are people who post reasonable opinions on there, but it's pretty rare and they get downvoted a lot. Like to talk about 'toxic Destiel fans' 'ruining the show' and how Dean is a straight man who is straight and could never possibly be gay. Might even think the confession was platonic despite all evidence to the contrary. I'm Not Homophobic I Have Gay Friends, But No Gays on MY Show!

Old Guard - group of older fans who overlap strongly with the Wincest faction, but might not necessarily ship Wincest.

GA faction

'General Audience' - These are the group of audience members that aren't 'online' so to speak; most watch the show on TV as a Casual Viewing Experience (are therefore also sometimes referred to as 'casuals'. Mostly their opinions tend towards BiBros, but they have a vast range of baffling views thanks to being Not Online and usually Not caring about Supernatural that much or thinking that deeply about it.

Sub-factions:

People who simply watch Supernatural on TV and then don't think about it very much after that.

I said they weren't 'online' but that's not entirely true; I'd probably classify people on Supernatural Facebook Groups as GA, along with friends of friends who post statuses about how 15.20 was a neat finale that wrapped up the series.

Conclusion

Supernatural is famously the show that appeals to both Republicans and Democrats, literally All Orientations, so there's a WIDE range of factions. However, most warring online boils down to Destiel vs. Wincest/BiBro - the war that started in Season 4 and has simply never ended. In terms of the 'actors' and their stans, in general, Wincest/BiBro fans love Jared, like Jensen, and dislike Misha. Destiel fans love Misha, like Jensen, and dislike Jared. Of course as with everything, there are variations and this is just a generalisation. But that's the summary of it, from my perspective!

This didn't even get into Sam girls, Dean girls and Cas girls. God. Anyway.

Hope that answered your question, anon!

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 30

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: At Waystation, pt 3/?

A/N: Chapter 30 already! This chapter was not an easy one to edit as I was insecure about a lot of things, but hey, it's out now and that's what matters, right? I am so aware things are progressing a bit slowly right now but I feel it's kind of 'necessary' to have a bit of down time before things start going down. (Not that I'm capable of writing actual drama.) Well, at least we'll find out a bit more about Leo's past in this chapter.

Without a further ado, please enjoy and let me know what you think (those comments really help me!!!)

Words: exactly 3000 apparently :O

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

After breakfast Leo asked Calypso if she would like him to give her a tour around Waystation. She agreed, but Leo couldn’t help but raise his eyebrow at his family members when Georgina asked if she could go with the flatmates and Leo’s mothers told her that they needed Georgie’s help in some Christmas chores.

“What?” Josephine asked innocently when she noticed Leo staring.

“I dunno, tía Jo. It just kinda seems like you don’t want Georgie to hang out with us,” he stated bluntly.

“That’s not accurate at all, Leo,” she denied. “I’d gladly let Georgina go with you but we really do need her help around here. Christmas isn’t coming if we all just slack off, right, Emmie?”

“I agree, dear. I haven’t even…” Emmie’s hesitance only deepened Leo’s suspicions. “...hmmm, taken care of our mistletoes yet.”

“Mistletoes?” Leo crossed his arms over his chest, briefly daring to wonder what would happen if he and Calypso were under one of those plants at the same time. He shook his head to dispel such an idea.

“Didn’t we agree that we don’t need stuff like that? You don’t even like Christmas!”

“I may agree that this holiday is way too commercial these days, but since Emmie has some mistletoes growing in her greenhouse anyway, I don’t see why we wouldn’t use them,” Jo commented. “It’s nice that Georgie gets to experience some of the old traditions even if we grownups don’t care about them.”

“Whatever,” Leo rolled his eyes, knowing he wouldn’t win that battle.

“Um, if you need extra hands,” Calypso joined the conversation, addressing Jo and Emmie, “I don’t have to go with Leo. I’d love to help too.”

Leo felt a twinge of disappointment because of Calypso’s suggestion. His insecure side yelled that maybe he had misread Calypso’s intentions all along.

“Oh, no, no!” Emmie denied immediately. “You are our guest; we want you to take it easy and enjoy your stay here. I bet Leo’s tour is a lot more fun than us peeling way too many potatoes and carrots for the casserole.”

“I wouldn’t mind peeling potatoes,” Calypso mumbled but Leo’s mothers pretended they didn’t even hear that. The flatmates simply had to accept that they wouldn’t have a chaperone - except maybe Festus - on their tour.

Once the two of them were outside, Leo’s thoughts went back to the time when he had first arrived at Waystation. Back then, he had been only 15, having just escaped from his latest foster home, which had been located far away in New Mexico. His foster family there had hidden their opinion on him very badly, giving him sly remarks about his looks and telling him to speak clearer English even though Leo’s English had always been fine, thanks to his real mother allowing him to learn both Spanish and English as a small kid. They had also made him do the hard work such as carrying heavy loads while the other foster kid of the family got the easy tasks. And when he had come home from school with bad grades, the foster parents had commented: “why do we even bother with you?”

At some point Leo had simply had enough, and by selling some of the few belongings he had he had managed to gather just enough money for one plane ticket and so he flew to Indianapolis without telling anything to his foster family.

After living on the streets and successfully dodging the authorities for a couple of weeks, the police finally found him and contacted the local social workers. Thankfully, after Leo put all his convincing skills to use, they agreed to not send him back to New Mexico, instead finding him a new foster family nearby. Leo hadn’t had high expectations because he had been in at least 6 different foster homes since his mother’s death and none of them had been a good match for him. Some had been abusive, some racist, some ignorant, some had had kids who were bullies, some had had alcohol issues… What had been common for them all was that none of them had treated him the way they should have.

That was why Leo had picked some bad habits too; he wanted to drown his feelings somehow and he ended up stealing small amounts of money from his foster family so he could buy alcohol from his older homeless ‘friends’. He had hated how it made him feel afterwards, but it had been the only way he had known how to deal with his issues. At some point he had even had suicidal thoughts because the guilt and trauma from his childhood got so bad he woke up covered in sweat after the same old fire filled nightmare almost every night. And going from foster home to foster home and feeling like none of those people cared what he really did with his life definitely didn’t help him regain his feeling of self worth. He had no future, no plans, no real friends or family and nowhere to go.

Luckily, during his worst phase in his last foster home someone from his homeless group mentioned having a relative in Indiana and that he was hoping to move there at some point in hopes of getting a new start for his life. That idea sparked something in Leo’s mind and when he started planning his big escape, Indianapolis was the first place that he thought of.

When he finally met Jo and Emmie, he was surprised. Seeing them spending time with their then 5-year-old adoptive daughter, he could tell that these women genuinely cared about the little girl and did everything for her wellbeing. Not only that, Jo was a mechanic just like Leo’s real mother and they had also other things in common. With some patience and showing that they cared, simply by making sure that Leo ate, rested and had something to do with his time other than dwelling on his sad past, they eventually won him over. And when Leo discovered thanks to Jo’s help that he himself had the skills to become a mechanic someday as well, he finally had a goal to reach and studying wasn’t quite as big a struggle for him anymore.

Soon, however, Leo became afraid that Jo and Emmie wouldn’t want to keep him around because he still had some bad days when he literally had to be dragged from his bed. He was also worried that maybe the women had heard what he had done in his past and were silently judging him. Instead, they surprised him by telling him that they wanted to officially adopt him much like Georgina because he was a part of their family now. As an added bonus they assigned him for therapy sessions, which really helped and the days when he didn’t want to do anything became less and less. Leo knew he was still a work in progress but this family had helped him so much and he had found his purpose, his home, at Waystation.

Calypso had naturally noticed Leo’s silence so eventually she asked:

“Are you OK? You’re being unusually quiet.”

“Oh, yeah, just dandy!” Leo exclaimed, trying to act more like his usual self. “I was just thinking about the times when I first moved in here.”

“Really? Do you want to tell me more about that?” Calypso asked curiously.

“I guess it won’t hurt.” Leo shrugged. “I don’t remember if I’ve told you that I was in a lot of foster homes before I got here. Well, my last foster parents were really shitty people and I was this close to… I dunno, doing something desperate. So I decided to just leave and ended up here in Indianapolis. I, um, was homeless for a bit but when the social workers got me into their hands they found me a new family, Jo and Emmie. At first they were supposed to only foster me for a time being but they ended up adopting me instead. I… haven’t told this to anyone, but they probably saved my life by doing that. The Leo from that time was far from the Super-Sized McSizzle that I am now,” he attempted to joke, but Calypso ignored that. Instead, she said:

“I’m sorry you had to go through that… but I’m glad you opened up about it to me.” Leo’s heart did an extra jump when he saw Calypso smiling at him supportingly. He would never get used to that. “And I’m glad Jo and Emmie adopted you.”

“Yeah, me too… When I first saw the place I was like, ‘wow, I wish I could stay here’. Obviously the people here are awesome - they are my family - but that wasn’t the only thing the 15-year-old me cared about. The cars and other machines Jo was fixing? So cool. I had only seen something like that at my childhood home and the nostalgia hit me like ‘boom’ right away.”

“I should have known it was the machines that convinced you to stay here,” Calypso teased, but Leo knew her already too well to get provoked by that.

“Nah. I mean, they’re neat and all, but Jo and Emmie did the actual convincing.”

“Okay, I believe you. So, was Jo’s garage what made you want to become a mechanical engineer?” Calypso asked.

“I guess the spark was always there but it took me a while to convince myself that I should try to pursue that goal. But when I started going to school again regularly – long story, don’t ask – I noticed that the sciences were easy for me, I was also decent enough at drawing – which of course helps with the blueprints and stuff – and Jo let me try fixing some of the simpler machines she had and turned out I wasn’t half bad. It was Jo and Emmie who kept pushing me to apply for the uni, though, because they believed in me more than I did. I’m thankful that they did it but… sometimes I still doubt...” Leo hadn’t talked about his insecurities even to his adoptive mothers so he felt that the fact that he was able to open up about it to Calypso was a big deal.

“I’ve seen you fix countless items,” Calypso said slowly. “I’ve noticed that you’re always… so different when you’re fiddling with your machines. More relaxed. Calmer. Surer of what you do. And your eyes sparkle and you hum some old school rock song while you work and I can just tell that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

Leo had to avert his eyes from her because he was afraid he would do something stupid like cry if he looked at her too long in that moment. No matter how encouraging his family, friends and the therapist were… it was still hard to get used to the compliments. And if he was honest to himself, he probably valued Calypso’s opinion more than anyone else’s at that point.

“Wow… umm… I don’t know how to answer that…” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“A simple thank you would probably do,” Calypso replied. “But know that I mean what I say. Now, how about you show me that famous garage?”

Leo did as he was told. He introduced Calypso to all the tools and machinery they used to fix whatever item the customer happened to bring in. He had a feeling that Calypso probably didn’t have any idea what he was talking about half the time because he tended to get very technical with the terms when he got excited, but she still seemed content listening to him. At least she wasn’t telling him to stop, which was definitely a plus.

To Leo’s surprise, Calypso went to the table where he and Jo used to draw their blueprints and asked him if she could see how he did it because she hadn’t seen his blueprints before. He complied, taking a pencil and a piece of blank paper from the stack and looking at Calypso questioningly.

“What do you want me to draw, then? I may have some experience on this but even I need some ideas first…”

“You can draw whatever you like. How about Festus?” Calypso requested.

“Festus?” Leo tapped the pencil against his chin for a moment, considering Calypso’s request. “Hmm, as you wish, Sunshine.”

He started making fast, swift motions on the paper and it didn’t take him very long to finish the sketch. Sure, the lines were a bit rough, but Calypso told him she was very impressed by how accurately he remembered even the little details, such as a dark spot on Festus’ back, how the tail curved when he was happy, and how he was missing a tiny piece of the tip of his left ear.

Leo felt a bit embarrassed by the praise. “It just comes with me hanging out with him so much. Nothing more to it, really.” He looked at the sketch for a moment. “Hold on, I feel like this is missing something. Can you look towards that window for a moment?”

“What, why?” Calypso asked, but turned anyway.

“Just adding something real quick,” Leo replied and started sketching again. He wondered if it was the lighting of the room but he thought Calypso’s cheeks seemed a bit darker than usual and she kept looking at the floor shyly. When he realized that he’d probably feel the same way if she was drawing him, he himself got flustered and decided to try to finish the drawing as quickly as possible. Within minutes he had drawn her next to Festus, playing with him, wearing the same holiday sweater and jeans she currently was.

“Can I see?” Calypso asked.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Leo gave the picture to her. “It’s not detailed or anything but I tried.”

Calypso kept staring at it for a moment. “Leo… this looks great! I mean, I don’t think I am that pretty but I am quite amazed that you managed to do this that fast!”

Leo wanted to say that there was no way the picture did her justice but he knew that would be a never ending debate so instead he told her: “It’s the experience, Sunshine. When you draw hundreds of blueprints you learn to be fast.”

Calypso turned her attention to the drawing again. “Can I get it?” she asked after a while.

“Why?”

“Because Festus looks cute, you weirdo. That’s a good enough reason, right?”

“Fine, you can have it. I’m not sure where I’d put it anyway.” Leo shrugged. He wasn’t sure why Calypso possibly hanging the picture on her wall made him feel a bit weird. In a good way, though.

Once the two of them left the garage, Leo pointed at a smaller building next to the ‘main’ one. A couple of pointy ears were peeking from the upstairs windows. “That’s where our foster animals live. I think the kid me wished on some level that I could have a pet but my mom could never afford one… but Jo and Emmie have been fostering rescue cats and dogs even before I got here. One of them was Festus’ mum; she was pregnant when she arrived here. When she had her puppies, I noticed that one of them was a bit of an outsider and we instantly formed a bond. Jo and Emmie allowed him to stay here even though he sure would have had adopters.”

“That was really sweet of them,” Calypso commented. “Can we see who’s in there right now?”

“Sure but we should probably let Emmie know about it because she’s pretty strict about who can go in. She may ask us to wear ‘bunny suits’; some of the animals may be sick and we don’t wanna spread the bugs around.”

“No problem, let’s go see her then.”

When Emmie heard what Leo and Calypso were about to do, she promised to stop her Christmas chores for a while so she could show them (mainly Calypso) around in the rescue house. Currently she was fostering two young puppies who had been found on the streets without their mother, a mother cat with her 4 kittens who were getting close to their adoption age, and an older cat with some kidney issues who seemed to however adore the little kittens.

Leo was watching Calypso’s reactions closely as Emmie was introducing her to the kittens. Soon one of the braver kittens climbed on the girl’s lap, giving her a tiny ‘meow’ and then started nuzzling against her sleeve.

“Aww, look Leo! He loves me,” Calypso exclaimed, smiling widely as the kitten started purring loudly on her lap while she pet him. ‘He’s not the only one,’ Leo thought in his mind. Aloud he asked: “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I guess because I’ve never really handled cats so I didn’t know how they’d react to me…” Calypso noted more seriously. But then the happiness returned to her face. “You know, this one reminds me of you! He also has long, black hair like you and fierce eyes.”

“Fierce?” Leo raised his eyebrow. “That’s what you think of me?”

Calypso seemed to want to explain but with Emmie in the room she didn’t go to details. “Um, maybe? Hey, look! Another one is coming!”

This time a small ginger kitten was approaching her and Calypso extended her arm so the kitten could sniff her. The group kept making small talk about the cats in the room and continued snuggling them, but Leo’s eyes were on Calypso the whole time. He could see how happy she was about such a simple thing as kittens and it made him feel lighter, warmer again, even though he had just remembered some very bad times a few moments earlier. Maybe all of it had been meant to happen, he wondered briefly. After all, it led him here, to his family… and Calypso.

[joyseuphoria]

She hated how much she liked him now

Thank you sooo much for the prompt!!!

The “him” in the prompts are replaced with “her” since this is a fem!jily fic!!! I had too many ideas for this fic...maybe I’ll write some of the rest in the future, but here you go!

You can read it here or on ao3

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 16:00)

Sirius Black: moony and the rest of you pay up

Marlene Mckinnon: why should we pay u?

Remus Lupin: u still owe me 20 btw so i dont think i will

Sirius Black: ofc ppl like u wouldnt know smh

jamie finally asked lily on a date

Peter Pettigrew: Wait what

Marlene McKinnon: afsjtksjdggehej

when 

how 

tell me everything 

Sirius Black: well little prongsie finally sucked up and asked ickle lilykins on date

voila 

Marlene McKinnon: give me the details black

or i s2g ill kick u out of the group 

Sirius Black: empty threats

if u really wanna know u can go ask em

(Marlene McKinnon has removed Sirius Black from the group chat)

Peter Pettigrew: Remind me to not ever cross paths with Marlene 

_____________

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 17:00)

Jamie Potter: good riddance 

thx marls 

Marlene McKinnon: got u covered hon

now spill 

Jamie Potter: i hv a date with lil on friday:)

Lily Evans: that she does;)

Marlene McKinnon: i demand details ppl

(Dorcas Meadows has removed Marlene McKinnon from the group chat)

Remus Lupin: wh did u do that for 

Dorcas Meadowes: She was being too nosy

I didn't like it

Jamie Potter:.........thx??

Dorcas Meadowes: Welcome sweetie

_________

THE CURLY SQUAD 

(Tuesday 17:34)

Mary Macdonald: wait what????!!!!!??!

__________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Wednesday 16:30)

Sirius Black: r v up for spying on them on fri?

Marlene Mckinnon: u kno it;)

Mary Macdonald: hell yeah

Peter Pettigrew: Yes! ofc

Remus Lupin: we should give them some privacy sirius

tho ik its a foreign concept to you

Dorcas Meadowes: Obviously

And of course I wanna spy on them

Remus Lupin: but still...yes

Sirius Black: ther is no privacy between  frnds

YAAY

Marlene Mckinnon: so v meet up at 4 outside the bistro next to three broomsticks 

Peter Pettigrew: Wait when’s their date and where?!??

Mary Macdonald: at 5 in 3 broomsticks pete cmon keep up

Remus Lupin: how did u know that?

Sirius Black: im her brother and both their best frnds its obvio that id be the first one to kno

Marlene Mckinnon: and im lilys best frnd too sirius 

Dorcas Meadows: You spied on them didnt you?

Sirius Black: v hv all the rights to spy on them

Mary Macdonald: wait i thought that i was lilys best frnd

Dorcas Meadowes: I can confidently say that it’s neither of you

I’m her best friend

Sirius Black: prove it

Marlene Mckinnon: yeah!

Dorcas Meadowes:  (sends an attachment)

Marlene Mckinnon: shit

Mary Macdonald: …...fair

___________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Thursday 19:45)

Jamie Potter: cant wait for our date tomorrow 

Lily Evans: ik u cant 

Jamie Potter: 

Lily Evans: <3

;)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Sirius Black 

(Thursday 19:48)

Jamie Potter: sirius sirius sirius 

lily just sent me a winky face emoticon!!!!

what do i do???!!!?!!!?!?!

(Message read at 19:49)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Thursday 19:51)

Jamie Potter: :D

_______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Friday 16:30)

Jamie Potter: u ready?

Lily Evans: yes ! 

wher r u

Jamie Potter: cool

just reached ur door

______________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:30)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys 

its only me and marlene here

Mary Macdonald: just outta class 

be there in 10

Remus Lupin: home

Peter Pettigrew: At the ice cream parlor for ice cream

Dorcas Meadows: Oh get me some too Pete?

Remus Lupin: me too pls pete

Mary Macdonald: oooh id like some too

mint chocolate chip for me pls

Peter Pettigrew: Sure thing! wh abt the rest of u??

Dorcas Meadowes : Strawberry! with a lot of strawberries as toppings!!!

Remus Lupin : devils choc ofc

Sirius Black : guys can v focus at the matter in hand??!!

also charcoal ice cream pls

just as black as my soul

Peter Pettigrew : ...k

U marls??

Marlene Mckinnon:..........vanilla. thx

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:45)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys?!!??!?

theyll b here any sec

Remus Lupin: sirius everyone is here

except for u and marlene

where tf r u guys?!!???

Marlene McKinnon: we r at the spirit store 

where tf r u guys????

Sirius Black: i told u guys to meet us here

Dorcas Meadowes: Wtf is a spirit store?

Sirius Black: a store that sees our spirit 

Peter Pettigrew: Ur ice creams starting to melt!!!!!!

Mary MacDonald: oh the halloween costume shop?

why?

Sirius Black: to dress up ofc

Marlene Mckinnon: honesty guys?

lily and jamie will recognise us if v go like this

and v cant afford that!!!!

Remus Lupin: that is smart….

didnt expect it from u both

Sirius Black: fuck you remus

fuck you

Dorcas Meadowes: So what are our disguises??

Marlene McKinnon: dog ears and nose 

a gily suit

a moon suit

rat whiskers and ears

a tree hat and glasses

and a big floppy hat and sunglasses for my beautiful girlfriend

Dorcas Meadowes: ………….

Peter Pettigrew: Dorcas and remus took ur ice cream btw

Something about it melting, u being stupid and u not being here

 Sirius Black: remy how could u

Marlene McKinnon: ffs dorcas 

i thought u loved me

Peter Pettigrew: Who’s wearing what costume?

Remus Lupin: also sirius 

do u really think that we can pull it off?

itd be tooo obvious 

Mary Macdonald: nd theyll realise that we r spying on them

Sirius Black: they couldnt even realise that they had a crush on each other until i intervened

do you think that theyll realise that its us???????

Remus Lupin: …...point

Sirius Black: so im wearing the dog ears and nose 

marls gonna wear the gily suit

the moon hat and the silver suit is for u remus 

Marlene Mckinnon: the rat whiskers r for peter 

and the tree hat and sunglasses r for mary :)

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:55)

Sirius Black: ok now positions!

marlene mary and i r sitting in the booth behind the big fat hydrangea 

nd remus peter nd dorcas r gonna sit 2 rows behind them in the corner table outside

Peter Pettigrew: How do u even know where the r gonna sit?????!!!!!???

Marlene Mckinnon: v bribed the receptionist obviously

Sirius Black: she will make sure that they sit second in the row between the hydrangeas and the window 

Remus Lupin: how can v hear them if v r outside??

Marlene Mckinnon: oh hush remus 

ever heard of privacy?

Remus Lupin: wtf do u think we r doing rn??!!?!??!?!!

Dorcas Meadowes: Making sure the date goes perfectly?

Sirius Black: thank u dorcas

Mary Macdonald: yeah!

exactly 

Remus Lupin: …………

i give up 

Peter Pettigrew: Just now?

Thought u gave up when Jamie successfully insulted Lily two yers back when in fact she was supposed to ask her out on a date :/

Sirius Black: that was a good laugh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:04)

Peter Pettigrew: Ok they’re sitting rn 

Dorcas Meadowes: Don’t they look cute together

Remus Lupin: do i hv to wear this silvery rocky suit?!??!

Sirius Black: yes

and yes they look perfect 

our ship is finally sailing 

Dorcas Meadowes: Is is is Jamie stuffing a breadstick in her nose

Peter Pettigrew: No I think she’s trying to look like a walrus

Remus Lupin: she does not need to embarrass herself more

Mary Macdonald: u really think this is anything compared to the time when she tripped over her cat and fell on lilys bday cake?

Sirius Black: lolol

the bruise she left him with lasted for two weeks

Dorcas Meadowes: I stg that woman has the best boxing skills

Marlene Mckinnon: dorcas!!!! not me????

im ur girlfriend!!!

Mary Macdonald: lolololol

she thought that jamie did it on purpose for years lol

Marlene McKinnon: and why tf is lily doing the same

i thought she had more sense than that

Remus Lupin: love can do that to you ya know

Sirius Black: u would know

Marlene McKinnon: ohhh look jamie snorted the breadstick out of her mouth!!

neat

Mary Macdonald: lily did it too

Mary Macdonald: i think she has enough sense to not offend lily 

Remus Lupin: ya think?

u want me to remind u about all the times she offended lily?

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah so much that she hated Jamie

Sirius Black: nah she didnt 

if anything lily hates how much she likes her now

Marlene Mckinnon: do u think theyll order soup?

Sirius Black: yeah ig

jamie wants it to be all fancy

Marlene McKinnon: pls dont order tomato soup

Mary Macdonald: it awfully looked a lot like the waiter said no tomato soup

Peter Pettigrew: Really? Lily hates tomatoes why would Jamie order em

Thought she wouldn’t today

At least

Sirius Black: thank hell jamie didnt order the tomato one

Dorcas Meadowes: Remember when Jamie made marinara for Lily to impress her lol

Remus Lupin: that plan backfired soo bad 

Marlene Mckinnon at least lilys prank to get back at her was awesome

Sirius Black: that was such a power move!!!

and including taylor’s song

shehgeueytoaknd

Remus Lupin: tho she coloured her cat the so called emerald green and not key lime green and v had to listen to her go on and on abt how lily knows her fav colour 

Mary Macdonald: jamie continued to think that it meant that she knew it for three months

:/

Dorcas Meadowes: As if u didnt like it

Mary Macdonald: lol i did love it

Peter Pettigrew: They are bonkers 

Dorcas Meadowes: Bonkers for each other

Sirius Black: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: Their soup’s here

Sirius Black: spinach soup???

ewww jamie 

Peter Pettigrew: Ahh creamy mushroom soup for Lil ig

Awesome choice 

Mary Macdonald: they really ought to try new things

smh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:16)

Remus Lupin: wh did u guys order?

we ordered a lasagna 

Marlene Mckinnon:?uhh same 

ohhh look 

Peter Pettigrew: The waiter’s back with pasta for both of them YAY

Do you guys think that they realised that we are spying on them??

Marlene Mckinnon: nah they’re hopeless Pete so no

Sirius Black: thank hell that they r cute

Remus Lupin: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: 3 yrs ago I wouldnt have thought that they would be here together on a date

Mary Macdonald: hell they woulnt have even been here as friends 

Remus Lupin: or come here with us

Marlene Mckinnon: lily didnt even kno that she is bi then

Dorcas Meadowes: Yeah

It was quite a rough time for her

Peter Pettigrew: Guyssss

I have a question 

Dorcas Meadowes: Shoot Pete 

Peter Pettigrew: Why is the group name curly squad?

I mean only Dorcas’s hair is curly I only gathered that much

Dorcas Meadowes: Lol no Pete

Sirius Black: LOLOLOL

Marlene Mckinnon: lolll 

Dorcas Meadowes Ohk so

None of us here are just straight so we’re curly lol 

Sirius Black: lil nd i r bi

u r ace

dorcas nd mary r pans

remus is gay

jamie is lesbian 

Marlene Mckinnon: i am bi too 

u already knew that but still

Sirius Black: so yeah thats why 

Peter Pettigrew: Oh wow

Ok

Thanks guys 

Sirius Black: np pete 

Peter Pettigrew: Jamie just leaned over to brush the remnants of pasta from lilys lips!!!!!!!!

Mary Macdonald: thats soo cute they r perfect

Sirius Black: nauseating more like

Dorcas Meadowes: I’m just revelling in the fact that she didnt brush him off

Marlene Mckinnon: thats second year of uni lily

even first fits in the category 

Peter Pettigrew: and she held her hand!!!!!

Bold

Sirius Black: is that…...snep

Remus Lupin: snep?????

Dorcas Meadowes: Where

Sirius Black: behind u guys

Remus Lupin: OHHHH FUCK

Mary Macdonald: do u think that he knows abt their date

Sirius Black: well jamie did post it on her insta so…….

Dorcas Meadowes: Oh shit

Peter Pettigrew: Shit alright

Marlene Mckinnon: hes coming over ig

Mary Macdonald: yup hes in

Sirius Black: WHYYYYYY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME GOD

COULDNT YOU LET MY SHIP LIVE IN PEACE!!!!

Remus Lupin: well u know what they say abt cannons sinking a ship :/

Sirius Black: remus theodore lupin u dare say that jily lames is not cannon

Marlene Mckinnon: remus ralph lupin wtf

Dorcas Meadowes: Remy, how could you?

Peter Pettigrew: Why would you say that Remus?

Mary Macdonald: remus john lupin u take that back right this instant

oh we r playing call remus wrong names 

sry I didnt realise

 Remus Lupin: i am sry guys I ship jily as much as u do

Sirius Black: LAMES

Remus Lupin: but i had to lol

i think v should go stop him from disturbing them

Mary Macdonald: hes already headed their way

its too late

Marlene Mckinnon: i s2g i will punch snep today if he does anything to them

Sirius Black: ill tackle him 

Marlene McKinnon: perfect

Mary Macdonald: v might blow our cover too

not that im worried abt that

tho they might not appreciate the sentiment 

Sirius Black: v shld go

Dorcas Meadowes: I feel like they'll want to handle this themselves

But ok!

Mary Macdonald: ok he hates u and remus the most so dorcas and i should go first 

Sirius Black: but im their best friend

Dorcas Meadowes: Too late they’re already talking

Sirius Black: NOOOOOO

Remus Lupin: ig he just mentioned siris name

Sirius Black: seems that way

if he says anything abt jamie or reg i will lose it

Dorcas Meadowes: I think he’s berating lily for being out with jamie….

Mary Macdonald: ofc what else does the greasy slime ball know

Sirius Black: ok im gonna go

Peter Pettigrew: How to grease your hair 101??

Sirius Black: lol yes

Marlene Mckinnon: is he

is he pointing over to us

Mary Macdonald:k they r looking at us

Peter Pettigrew: Did Lily just call ur name out, guys?

Dorcas Meadowes: Mary, make sure Marls and Sirius don’t do anything stupid

_________

“Sirius, no!” Remus shouted, as the boy in question marched over to Jamie’s and Lily’s table. 

“Well, hello there snivellus. Looking positively greasy today aren’t we?” Sirius taunted. 

“What are you doing here Black?” Snape sneered. 

Sirius hummed before responding, “We just fancied a dinner here. What about you?”

“Looking for something to grease?” Marlene chimed. 

“Marlene,” Lily warned. 

“Thought I’d visit my friend Lily here. That’s all Black,” Snape answered. 

“More like crash her date,” Dorcas muttered, as she joined the group around Lily and Jamie’s table with Remus, Mary, and Peter.

“I am not your friend Snape.” Lily stood up, accompanied by Jamie.

“Lily!” The greasy haired man faced her pleadingly, “I care about you a lot. That’s why I’m telling you to not date Potter! Thinking that you’re bi may well just be a phase that’ll go away, Lily. Moreover, she doesn’t really care about you! She just thinks that you are some sort of prize to be won.” 

Jamie looked like she wanted to dislocate Snape’s jaw, her fists curled at her sides. But the warning glance Lily threw her, made her insides calm down 

“You know nothing about me Snape,” Lily said, with gritted teeth. “Now go away before I dislocate your nose.” Sirius whistled in support. 

“Lily, we’ve been best friends since we were ten. I know you, Lily. Please listen to me,”

“If you were my best friend you’d have supported me instead of behaving like an ignorant ass. Now please go away.”

“Lily, please.”

Barely a moment later, Lily’s fist connected with Snape’s nose. Blood leaked down his front, while the rest of the gang rushed to vocally support her. 

 “You’ll regret that Lily!” Snape glared threateningly. 

Before long, Sirius had tackled Snape to the ground, and accidentally splattered the lasagna the waiter was bringing over to their table, on Snape’s head. 

“I...“ Lily began.

“You can save your breath, Lils,” Sirius started, “he’s a harmless, entitled prick”

“Looks like you have a lot of grease to get rid of, Snep,” Marlene announced. 

“And Snep, pro tip: the only shampoo that keeps the grease at bay is the Sleakeasy shampoo. You should try it out!” Jamie, ever so helpful, advised, and moved to position her hand behind Lily’s back. 

“Sorry about that Sir, we’ll cover the charges for the ill-fated lasagna,” Sirius apologised to the waiter as he helped him up from the ground. 

“Could you please get him out of this shop? He’s been troubling us, as you can see,” Dorcas asked, politely. 

The waiter simply looked baffled. However, he nodded and successfully escorted Snape out of the restaurant. 

“Now this is going to be quite the first date story to tell at the wedding.” Peter spoke up for the first time since they gathered at the table between the hydrangeas and the windows. 

Jamie blushed and looked around, anywhere but at Lily, though her hand never left Lily’s back, while the redhead laughed at her.

“Well, since we’re all together, we can have dessert and you can continue spying on us while sitting at our table,” Lily said. “Nice ears you’ve got there, Sirius. Though I’d prefer Dorcas’s floppy hat.”

“Yeah! I personally love the whiskers, Pete. Seriously, Marlene? A gily suit? Inconspicuous much? And Remus, you have enough sense to stop them!” Jamie put on. 

Remus just shrugged, his big crescent shaped moon hat toppling Mary’s tree hat downwards. “Sorry,” he said, bending to pick it up. 

“Thanks,” she said, when he gave the hat to her, “why did we agree to wear these again?”

“So we would be incognito, Mary”

“And we were successful! These oblivious dorks didn’t even realise that it was us until old snivelly pointed it out,” Sirius stated.

“Also, we did have ice-cream before coming here, so you guys should continue, we’ll leave,” Dorcas said. 

“Hey! We didn’t get to eat that ice-cream! You and Remus took it from us,” Marlene reprimanded. 

“Yeah! So we’ll be staying here and you guys can shoo away,” Sirius included. 

“Well in that case you can all leave and get yourselves ice cream while Lily and I can finally enjoy our date,” Jamie, now pushing Sirius, and shoo-ing the others to the doors, said. 

“Say what you want Jamie, I am enjoying our date,” expressed Lily. 

“You are?” Jamie turned around, completely forgetting the others in the room. 

“Well, looks like they’re more nauseating and lame than before. Should we go?” Asked Marlene. 

“Nah. Let’s just sit outside and spy on them through the window,” Sirius smirked. 

[forkflinger]

In Which I Review My 2019 Fanfic

So according to my AO3 statistics, I published 136,787 words this year. That’s a book! I could write a book. Neat. Especially considering that up until November of last year the number had been 0 for, mm, 5 years? Take your meds, kids.

Most Hits: What’s Good for You with 1,368. Second place is Stress Relief with 956 and third is Relaxation with 933. Haha, smut 😬

Most Kudos: also What’s Good for You with 161. Second is Three Nights, Three Nightmares (tbh a surprise! I didn’t think that one was, like... I mean it’s not bad but, like. Just okay) with 153 and third is It’s Not That Easy with 140.

Most Comment Threads: unsurprisingly, my two multi-chapter fics are in first and second, with Temporary Lodgings at 35 and What’s Good for You at 30. Posting serially certainly seems to be get more comments but... kinda nerve wracking tbh! I think in the future I’ll go back to just posting completed work. Third place is a three way tie between It’s Not That Easy, To Have and To Hold, and Keep a Secret.

Personal Favorite: It’s not even hard to pick, actually, it’s Love, Dick Gumshoe. I dunno why! It’s sad, and there’s definitely some clunky bits. I think it’s probably some of my closest-to-canon characterization, though. It really got the pining Gumshoe and completely oblivious Edgeworth dynamic without me having to push one or the other to actually make a move or acknowledge a feeling.

Least Favorite: Also easy, it’s Risking the Devils to Find Your Saint. Although I do think it’s my best title. The second person, though. Bruh. Rough. Also, I wrote it before the Intrepid Deacon was made available as a companion, and it made less sense to publish it after. Which I did anyway.

So anyway there’s, ummmm. The Year in Fic! I guess. I currently have a couple long-form fics that I hope to finish and post this coming year. It’d be super cool to hit 50k on one work, NaNo style. I also want to write more JJ Macfield (play it!!!!!) and Trials of Mana stuff. Aaannnndddddd idk what else! There will surely be more Kingdom Hearts stuff after the DLC drops. Oh shit, and P5R is gonna be this year too! So there will be more of that. But I also want to do more original stuff. I have a couple concepts, I just gotta... do it. Do the thing. Do it, me.

okay thanks bye and happy new year! 🥳

[everbrilliantheartbreaker]

Fanfiction Reader Tag

Tagged by @eyeliner-vampire  ♡ ♡

Fanfiction Reader Tag!

1. When did you start reading Fanfic (How old you were or how long ago)?

When I was probably...11 ish? so like 13 years ago

2. Do you have an AO3 account?

Yeh (LadyWisteria)

3. Do you read WIP (work in progress)? Why or why not?

All the time. I’m not picky about this at all. I’m a simple person. I see fic I think I’ll like? I read. doesn’t matter if it’s finished or not. I’ll make up my own ending til it is lol. also authors need that encouragement. finishing stuff is hard

4. What time of day is your ‘fic reading time’?

Usually late at night (like 1 a.m. and later..much later) but sometimes I’ll waste an afternoon instead (2 p.m. ish til I either have to go to work or I finish the fic)

5. How much time do you spend reading fic per week?

Not remotely as much time as I used, that’s for sure. Anywhere from an hour (if I’m rereading That favorite fic) to 2-4 hours if my friend has sent me a longfic again.

6. Do you listen to podfic (fanfic recorded like an audiobook)?

I...didn’t even know this was a thing tbh, so no. Sounds very neat but also I don’t listen to audio books anymore bcus my attention span re: audio input has gotten so bad over the years I can’t focus for more than a few minutes. 

7. What’s your favorite fic genre to read?

AUs AUs AUs. and fantasy. and fantasy AUs (although good long AU fics are harder to find). I am a very simple person. I see magic mentioned, I read. I also read a lot of romance fic (proving once again that fanfic writing is often better than mainstream original writing, bcus romance is one of my least favorite YA/movie genres). I don’t read as much of them but I also love mystery and paranormal fics

8. Are there any genres that you tend to avoid?

Super angsty no happy ending type stuff. “Major Character Death” is an automatic nope lmao (unless the summary looks reaallyyy interesting or it was recc’d to me). Tragedy is definitely Not my thing

9. What tag(s) do you track?

I don’t track any fic tags (I stopped tracking tags at all since Tumblr changed it from “keeping track of new posts in said tag” to “dropping random posts from that tag into the middle of your dash, and usually the same three”)

10. How do you find new fic?

Nowadays I mostly just read what friends send me or the new stuff a very few writers I follow post, but sometimes I also come across stuff through Twitter or Tumblr and curiosity wins out

11. How do you organize your fic bookmarks?

I..don’t? Is this a thing people do?? If I wanna reread something I either search through my bookmarks by title/author or just. filter by fandom. 

12. Do you subscribe to authors or stories?

Yeh. I only keep up with a very select few of them though. altho part of that is due to several of them being people I followed on fanfic.net years and years ago and never unfollowed, even though our interests may no longer be the same. (the other part is me going “oh I’ll read that later” and then just. never doing it.)

13. What is your favorite fanfic trope?

fake dating and bed sharing are always good

everyone is gay. also Good

14. What kind of plot line are you always here for?

“everything’s the same but they’re soulmates” (oh my god they were soulmates)

mafia AU

MAGIC

I really like in-between scene fics too. the events and character interactions that happen off-screen. I like writing those

15. What can an author do to make you love them?

write about my faves frequently

cool AUs

write about minor characters

good sense of humor

16. What can an author do to make you avoid them?

not into mpreg fics

a/b/o fics make me super wary I usually pass on those, even if the summary looks mildly interesting. they’re rarely if ever done in a way that isn’t rapey and gross

don’t care for fics period that have rapey scenes but you’re supposed to find them romantic

adult/minor ships

characterization is a big deal to me so if I don’t like how they handle the characters, especially faves I probably won’t be back

17. What do kudos mean to you?

when I get one I have a few seconds of “oh someone kinda liked this thing I wrote” and then I carry on about my day >.>;;; (I do appreciate them tho)

18. What kind of commenter are you (No comment, short comment, keyboard smash)?

I don’t comment as often as I mean to or wish I did, but when I do they’re loong comments (I’ve passed the AO3 character limit at least once kshg)

I tend to quote favorite parts and then react to them, and I like to theorize and ask questions about character’s thoughts at a certain part or what author imagines happens before/after the fic

19. Have you ever stopped reading a fic? Why or why not?

Yes. Once because I stumbled into a very sexually explicit fic when that was. Not at all what I was expecting (I was also very young lol), I think there was a very few I quit because they were boring or very poorly written, but most often I “quit” a fic for the same reason I don’t do audio books anymore lmao: because my attention span is sht and my motivation and commitment are extremely fickle things. I either forget or just wander away for a bit and then forget. Often I mean to come back and finish it; it’s just a matter of how long it takes. (I also second hand embarrassed out of a fic so hardcore that it’s been a whole 9 months since I’ve touched it khdfgd)

20. Have you ever read a fic more than once? What is it about that fic that makes you want to read it again?

YES. This requires like a minimum 4 separate posts to really answer but:

Behind Bricks and The Penance of a Killer by Deathbelle

this person is my fricking favorite author ever and these are two of my fricking favorite fics ever, I must’ve reread Behind Bricks 6 or 8 times now and Penance is the BokuAka-centric companion piece to my favorite fic of all time that I always wanted 

Mending Bonds and If the Heart Breaks, Does That Mean There’s No Home? by RussianSunflower3 

Mending Bonds is soft found family fluff centering on a very minor fave of mine and If the Heart Breaks is very angsty found family fluff that also focuses on some minor characters and it always hurts my heart but the ending and the soft middle always heal it right back up (“[Hanamaki] has a heart big enough for everyone in the world, and then some.” ohhhh my godd)

Boiled Frogs by ReginaGalaxia 

this one is. a really hard read centered around emotional abuse and manipulation and hoooo boy it is a rough read especially if you’ve experienced any of that personally but it’s so well written and the character dynamics are great and in its lighter moments it’s fricking hilarious. 

(bits and pieces of) The Roost by Ugglabarn 

 bits and pieces only bcus Roost has a lot of very heavy dark content that I’d have to be in a specific mood to reread the whole thing because it hurts my heart way too much but also it’s one of the best Fukurodani-centric longfics I’ve ever read (PLUS AN AU..!!) and I love love how they write the characters and how much focus there is on the minor members and ships and in its lighter moments Roost is also really funny the most recent chapter was hilarious

Expensive Hotel by Crown_of_Winterthorne

smut. explicit smut. excellent explicit smut with loving polyamorous boyfriends and plenty of consent discussion and kissing. my entire jam right there

Class 1-A Whomst? by Ya_Boi_Hal

this is the funniest chatfic I’ve ever read in my life and the first good chatfic I ever read. absolutely hysterical. also has some really good serious content in the middle and some Aizawa dialogue that punched me right in the feels. 12/10 will read again. sometimes I just randomly say “Mineta whomst??” and cackle to myself

and back in the day it was:

The Flame of Betrayal by DataIntegrationThoughtEntity

I guess traitor! Tahu was a popular trope back when Bionicle fandom was at its peak?? and not everyone liked it apparently but I enjoyed this fic greatly every time I read it it was well written and had interesting OCs and I am actually highly tempted to go reread it again

and Asleep Beneath a Wheat Field by Feline Freak

this was a very peculiar little OC-centric one shot that was also very sad and I don’t know why it grabbed me like it did but I remember rereading it 3 or 4 times at least

21. Do you like sequels?

The fics I like don’t usually come with sequels but The Penance of a Killer is one so Yes

22. Do you like dabbles?

I guess? I haven’t read too many I don’t think but hey, more fic is more fic. Who’s gonna complain about that?

23. What do you wish more fic authors would do?

Write about minor characters more

24. What do you wish more authors would stop doing?

that thing where they latch onto one facet of a character’s personality - or worse, one that fandom made up - and write them as if that’s the only trait they have

25. Do you like one-shots or multi-chapter?

Multi-chapter. I mean both are great obviously but the majority of my faves are multi-chapter and obviously if I like a fic I’m gonna wanna spend as much time in that universe as possible

26. How long do you like chapters to be?

Usually I feel the longer the better. once in a while I’ll hit one that’s so long it’s kind of distracting but extremely rarely

27. What’s your favorite POV (point of view) to read (first, second, third)?

Third

28. What do you think of OC’s?

I didn’t use to care for them very much but as I started reading fic by more advanced writers I found several I really liked. have a very small list of OCs from recent fics I’ve read I would actually kill a man for I love them so much

29. Do you download fic?

No, but seeing as my absolute favorite Bionicle fic vanished off the face of the earth several years ago and I cannot find anything about it an y wh ere sometimes I think about saving my faves. I never got to finish reading that fic and I am absolutely devastated every time I think about it. 

30. Tell me something else about your fic reading! Anything else!

best thing is when my friend and I buddy read a fic and send each other our favorite parts

Tag!

@yaelathewordsmith and @samantha-girlscout  ♡ ♡ ♡

[heyyamaguchi]

In Return

The @ignoctsecretsanta event is finally here! My gift-ee was @raenngu - Merry Christmas! The fic is under the cut, or you can find it here on AO3. Hope you like it! ( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/*

Title: In Return Rating: T Warnings: None Other Tags: Established Relationship, Sickfic, Cuddling & Snuggling

By the very nature of his position, Ignis spends more time with Noctis than anyone.

By the very nature of his position, Ignis spends more time with Noctis than anyone. 

There’s very little that isn’t shared between them—every joy, sorrow, hope, and fear. All secrets, dreams, frustrations, and hurt. Stolen kisses when they think nobody is looking. A million little affectionate touches that come as naturally as breathing air, cultivated by a lifetime’s worth of trust and understanding.

All that being said, Noct isn’t the least bit surprised when his own miserable, sniffling, hacking cold becomes Ignis’s miserable, sniffling, hacking cold.

After ten-plus years, it’s the natural order of things.

Granted, they do go about convalescence a little differently—Noct stays home for three days and watches terrible daytime TV, while Ignis…does not. But there’s a certain sense of solidarity between them in the two days after Noct starts to get better and before Ignis starts to feel worse.

The problem is, Ignis only seems to be feeling worse.

The poor guy has tissues shoved in every available pocket, nose scrubbed pink in a way that might be funny were it not for his obvious misery. When he’s not blowing his nose, he’s coughing, and when he’s not coughing, he’s clearing his throat with such a poorly-hidden grimace Noct knows it must hurt like hell.

He has to admit, he feels a little guilty—both for giving Ignis his cold in the first place, and for the fact that he’d managed to get away with relatively mild symptoms in comparison to whatever monstrosity has set up shop in his advisor’s chest.

So, on the fifth day, when Ignis’s cough begins to sound less like he’s clearing his throat and more like he’s struggling not to drown, Noct makes up his mind to do something about it.

Mercifully, they only have two important things left on the agenda for today: the longest, most boring meeting in the world, and a daunting stack of reports Noct has been putting off reading ever since the first sniffle hit. He knows he should have put more focus into keeping on top of things, but he can barely get through those pages of political jargon on a good day, let alone when he’s not feeling well. He tells himself it was a losing battle, but that consolation is somewhat hollow in the face of all this backlog.

Nevertheless, he can only focus on one thing at a time. And for now, that one thing is this meeting.

They’re just there to observe, really. Ignis has been dutifully taking notes the entire time, but it’s not like either of them knows jack about city infrastructure. Some guy with a ridiculously gaudy tie is bemoaning the lack of funds allotted towards bridge maintenance, while another is trying to interject a point about the necessity of upgraded emergency weather equipment. It’s probably important and relevant information that will affect a great number of people, but the two men remind him more of sleazy used car salesmen than respected government officials. It’s almost enough to turn him away from the topic entirely.

It’s also very, very boring.

Noct can’t keep his attention from wandering, eyes straying to the yellow legal pad Ignis is writing on. His notes are pristine, key points jotted down in his tiny, neat handwriting. His gaze travels up to Ignis’s face, watching his eyes flick from the speaker to his notes, back and forth at lightning speed. He doesn’t seem to notice Noct’s watchful stare, even as the prince takes in the dusting of pink high on his cheeks, the beads of sweat collecting at his hairline, the occasional shiver running through his frame…

Then he stops writing.

Noct freezes, wondering if he’s been caught—and if so, why it should matter. But no, Ignis keeps his grip on the pen, his other hand traveling to press ineffectively to his chest, and Noct can now hear the gentle wheeze with each of his inhalations.

He’s going to cough, that same gut-wrenching cough he’s been doing since yesterday. And he’s doing his damnedest to suppress it—out of what? Politeness? For the sake of these clowns bickering over money? It must hurt, too—and is it his imagination, or are Ignis’s eyes a little wetter than they’d been a minute ago? He looks anxious and miserable in a way Noct hasn’t seen since—

He’s just about to say something when Ignis stands, breathlessly muttering an apology in the midst of a bow, and marches out of the room like a man on a mission. The door hasn’t even swung all the way shut before Noct hears exactly what he’d known was coming—explosive, deep coughing, seemingly far too loud to have come from his mild-mannered advisor. Then the door latches, effectively soundproofing the room.

Somehow the silence is worse. He’s sure everything is fine, but not knowing for certain that Ignis had managed to catch his breath is agonizing in its own way.

This meeting cannot end soon enough.

Some fifteen-odd minutes later, when it finally does, Noct is in such a hurry to gather his and Ignis’s things that he barely hears the closing remarks about the necessity of another meeting “in order to make a well-examined decision on the matter.”

Figures.

The wave of relief Noct feels when he finds Ignis waiting right outside the door is palpable. He passes over his briefcase and travel mug, lacing their fingers together long enough to give his hand a comforting little squeeze before they head towards the elevator.

As soon as the elevator doors shut, Ignis sags against the wall, eyes closed. He has a few damp specks on his shirt collar—he must’ve gone to the restroom to splash cool water on his face, Noct realizes, though he certainly doesn’t seem to be feeling any better for it.

“You look like shit,” Ignis cracks open one eye, and Noct amends, “—sicker than I was, I mean.”

“Yes, well…” Ignis makes a vague gesture with his mug, which Noct knows is full of that awful herbal tea he drinks whenever he’s really, truly ill, “it’s nothing a good night’s rest won’t fix.”

Noct rolls his eyes. “And when’s the last time you had one of those?”

“…Touché.” Ignis closes his eye again and raises a hand to adjust his glasses, fingers lingering for just a few seconds to pinch the bridge of his nose. Noct pats his back reassuringly, and he can’t quite help his own smile when the corners of Ignis’s lips quirk up in amusement. “Do I look an absolute state?”

“Do you feel an ‘absolute state’?” Noct counters, reaching up and pushing back the few sweat-damp strands of hair that have stuck to Ignis’s forehead. An unsubtle brush against skin reveals what he already knows; his advisor is running a temperature.

Ignis only hums.

The elevator chimes.

The debate over who is going to drive them back to Noct’s apartment is short-lived once Noct points out that it is in both of their best interests if Ignis doesn’t crash the car in the midst of a coughing fit. Ignis tries valiantly to argue back, but raising his voice to a proper fighting volume is enough to send him into just such a fit. He hacks wetly, face buried in the crook of his elbow, hard enough and long enough that he’s practically swooning when it finally lets up. Eyes and nose streaming, he even lets Noct open the passenger side door for him.

And while Noct is sure Ignis probably has like, four different kinds of cough drops in his briefcase, he offers him one from the handful he’d stuffed in his pocket earlier—basking in the warmth of the tired, grateful little smile he receives in return.

Noct leaves the radio off—a necessary sacrifice for the sake of Ignis’s pounding head—and fiddles with the heat instead. It’s not particularly cold out, but he remembers Ignis shivering his way through the meeting and figures it’s the best he can do for now.

Either he’s correct, or else exhaustion has simply won the battle, because they’re barely a mile out before Ignis lists to the right, forehead thumping gently against the cool glass of the window. Noct waits a moment before sneaking a peek at him, wondering if maybe he’s just resting his eyes, but no—his posture is completely slack, mouth hanging slightly open. Hell, he’s even snoring—barely loud enough to be heard over the whirr of the heating system.

If he wasn’t one hundred percent certain Ignis would wake up to scold him for removing his eyes from the road, Noct would totally take a picture right now.

Instead, he just concentrates on keeping the ride as smooth as possible.

Ignis doesn’t stir until they’re parked, and Noct gives him a minute to collect himself before they head into the apartment. He toes his shoes off ungracefully, watching with some interest as Ignis follows suit, and leads his still-drowsy boyfriend over to the sofa.

“I am in dire need of some caffeine,” Ignis complains through a yawn, even as he sinks back into the cushions. “I don’t know what’s come over me.”

Noct rolls his eyes, exasperated but still impossibly fond. “Bronchitis, Ignis. You have bronchitis.”

“…Perhaps.”

“Almost definitely,” Noct uncaps the thermometer, conveniently left on the end table earlier that week by none other than Ignis himself. “Open up,” he pokes his patient in the lower lip when he doesn’t react fast enough.

Ignis complies, reluctance written all over his face. “I hardly think this is severe enough to warrant such attention,” he mumbles around the thermometer.

But thirty seconds later, they have their answer. “102 even,” Noct announces, to Ignis’s obvious chagrin. “That’s high enough. You’re going to bed.”

True to his nature, a counterpoint follows, “Noct, it’s only—” he squints at the clock, “—5:30.”

“Yeah, and you’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” The deeply troubled furrow between Ignis’s brows doesn’t smooth out, so Noct softens his tone. “Just for a little while, okay? You can sleep here on the couch, and I’ll sit in the chair and tackle a couple of these reports. Sound good?”

Whether it’s the thought of the prince actually getting some work done, or just the simple enticing pull of slumber, Noct isn’t sure, but Ignis folds like a house of cards. “If you insist.”

Noct leans in long enough to give him a peck on the cheek, then heads to his bedroom to retrieve a pair of Ignis’s warmest pajama pants, the thickest blanket he owns, and three ridiculously overstuffed pillows. He makes quick work of his advisor’s business attire, heart clenching at how badly he shivers in just his underclothes, and helps him shimmy into the flannel pants. Ignis coughs lightly, face turned away as Noct arranges the pillows at one end of the couch and eases him back against them. Noct kisses him again, this time on his fever-hot forehead as he tucks the comforter around his body.

“Comfy?”

“Very.”

“You need anything else?”

Ignis shakes his head. “You’re spoiling me,” he cautions, though the warning comes across more sleepy and content than foreboding.

“You deserve it,” Noct smoothes back his bangs, stealing his glasses from the bridge of his nose and placing them on the coffee table for safekeeping. “Just rest. I’ll be working if you need me.”

“Hard to believe,” there’s a ghost of a smile on his lips as his eyes flutter shut.

“Harsh, Specs.” But Ignis is already asleep.

Noct settles in for the long run.

Ignis awakens with a rush of adrenaline and the horrible, pressing knowledge that something is wrong.

His sleep-addled brain takes a moment to process that he’s coughing—hard enough that each cough brings literal tears to his eyes. He struggles his way out of his blanket cocoon, turning on his side and pulling his knees toward his chest, anything to make it stop. He hears rustling, footsteps, someone talking to him, but he can’t make sense of the words. Then, without warning, he’s hauled up into a sitting position—a move that throws off what little equilibrium he has and makes him sick to his stomach.

It’s Noct, he realizes belatedly, feeling a hand against his back. Noct’s hand, Noct’s voice, Noct’s sofa, Noct’s apartment. He focuses on that hand, kneading gently into his back, trying to help get his breathing back under control. He takes in a stuttered breath, coughing it out again just as quickly, but Noct’s voice has an encouraging edge to it now, and a cool hand presses to the back of his neck as he manages another inward gasp.

Noct sits with him until he’s only panting, then gets up just long enough to nab the box of tissues from the end-table. Ignis grabs a handful, dabbing at his eyes and blowing his nose until he feels almost human again.

“Feel better?” Noct asks.

“Somewhat.” he lies, noting with no small amount of displeasure how utterly destroyed his voice is.

Noct clearly doesn’t believe him, which is probably for the best. Still, he drops the subject. “You want dinner? There’s leftover soup.” To say the soup is simply leftover doesn’t quite do the sheer volume justice. When it comes to Ignis, there is simply no underestimating the curative powers of broth and noodles.

Which is to say, he’d dutifully produced a truly absurd quantity the very moment Noct had mentioned feeling unwell.

Except now…now the very thought of food is enough to turn his stomach. “I’d—” he cuts himself off, swallowing compulsively, “I’d rather not.”

He must look as exceptionally queasy as he feels, because Noct doesn’t try to talk him into it. “You should probably have something to drink, at least…you’re still pretty flushed,” he’s frowning as he presses the backs of his fingers to Ignis’s forehead. Ignis repeats the action himself, but he can’t really make an assumption either way. “Tea?” Noct suggests, “I don’t have your gross herbal stuff, though…but I think there might be orange juice in the fridge?”

Ignis would rather play it safe, in all honesty. “Maybe just a glass of water, and some of that awful cough syrup I forced into you over the weekend?”

Noct turns to stare so quickly he nearly gives himself whiplash. “So now the truth comes out—you knew it was horrible from the beginning. ‘Cherry flavor’, my ass.”

The snort that escapes Ignis is both hilarious and unexpected, and he catches a glimpse of Noct’s grin before he turns away under the pretense of retrieving the requested items. In the short time it takes him to fill a cup and grab the cough medicine, Ignis is overcome by a wash of fatigue, and he flops back onto the pillows, massaging his throbbing temples. He realizes he’s probably dehydrated, but knowing the cause of this massive headache doesn’t do him much good. His eyes slip shut despite himself.

“Still tired?” Noct’s voice is low, obviously trying to avoid disturbing him.

“Exhausted, actually,” Ignis murmurs, dragging his eyes open long enough to accept the proffered glass. The cool liquid feels incredible against his raw throat, and he surprises himself by downing half the water in one go. Noct uncaps the medicine, examining the label on the back and carefully dispensing the correct dose into the measuring cup. In Ignis’s humble opinion, the syrup would be much less intimidating if it didn’t reflect a murky, reddish hue, but beggars can’t be choosers. He takes it like a shot, but it still hits enough of his taste-buds on the way down to send a shudder up his spine.

Noct gives him a wry smile. “Horrible, isn’t it?”

“Positively disgusting,” he swishes a little water around in his mouth to try and dissipate the taste.

“Should knock you out in no time, at least,” Noct supplies.

Not that Ignis will probably need much help on that front, drowsy as he already is. Being sick is certainly doing a number on his overall productivity. He allows Noct to take him by the arm, helping him rise from the gravitational pull of the sofa and make his unsteady way into the bedroom.

He shrugs him off, though, when Noct tries to deposit him in bed.

“What’s up?” Noct tilts his head to the side, a slight pout upon his lips.

He can’t let this one go, though. “I know a shower is probably out of the question, but…” he hopes Noct catches his drift.

Noct sighs, but ultimately agrees. “Okay, yeah. Go brush your teeth and wash your face and whatever else you gotta do. Maybe a bath tomorrow, if you don’t look like you’ll fall asleep and drown in the tub.”

Reinvigorated by the promise of basic personal hygiene, Ignis straightens up enough that Noct deems him sufficiently awake to manage without a babysitter. With a nodded promise to shout if he needs anything, he disappears behind the door, relishing this brief moment of solitude. He brushes his teeth quickly—eager to erase the lingering pseudo-cherry flavor from his mouth—uses the facilities, makes a vain attempt to comb his hair into something half-controllable, and takes great pleasure in washing away the sticky layer of dried sweat on his face.

Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror is somewhat startling—he looks much worse off than he’d remembered from that morning. Or perhaps he’s simply projecting how terrible he currently feels onto his reflection. In either case, he sincerely hopes a good night’s sleep will help clear away the bruise-colored circles beneath his eyes.

He’s shivering by the time he returns to the bedroom, beyond grateful when Noct ushers him beneath the comforter—and even more so when the prince climbs into bed after him.

The lights go out. Save for the ambient hum of the building, the room is quiet.

And Ignis is suddenly wide awake.

He blinks, eyes trying to adjust to the inky blackness of his surroundings. Maybe he’s just not in the right position? He shuffles over onto one side, then the other. Flips the pillow over, fluffs it up, then scrunches it beneath his head. He takes several deep breaths, trying to relax himself into unconsciousness, but all that succeeds in doing is to force a string of smothered coughs from his abused lungs.

A low groan forms in the back of his throat, and he has to resist the urge to pull the covers up over his head like a scorned child. He settles for smushing his face into the pillow, trying to block out the universe and whatever nonsense could possibly be keeping him from several hours of desperately-needed sleep.

He knows he’s truly done it when Noct mumbles something unintelligible and rolls over, draping an arm across his body in a half-hug he’s all too eager to receive.

“Wha’ssa matter?” The question is inelegantly put, Noct’s own exhaustion creeping into his voice—a gentle reminder that he’d recently been ill, as well.

“I can’t—” frustration laces his words, but there’s no helping it, “—it’s—it’s ridiculous. Apologies.”

He can practically hear Noct rolling his eyes in the darkness. “Don’t ‘apologies’ me, c’mon.”

Ignis considers his options for a long moment. Finally, “I can’t sleep.”

“Obviously.”

“I—I’m certainly tired enough, but…” Noct is moving behind him, arms creeping up his back to find his shoulders. He’s just about to ask what he’s doing, when firm pressure into an achy spot right between his shoulder blades makes him gasp.

Noct pulls away as if he’d been burned. “You’re tense,” he observes.

Ignis can hear the strain in his own voice when he replies, “A bit, yes.”

Hands wandering up and down, Noct is sure to feel every illness-bred knot in Ignis’s back. The displeased click of his tongue all but seals the deal. “No wonder you can’t sleep—scoot forward a little,” he pushes Ignis slightly upright, blatantly ignoring the groan this elicits, and shuffles into the newly-created space against the headboard. Ignis rests against him without any prompting, snuggling up to this most welcome source of heat.

Noct’s hands are warm as they sit upon his shoulders, and Ignis can’t help the shaky little sigh that passes his lips at the first gentle sweep of his thumbs over coiled muscle. Noct takes this for what it is—permission to press a bit harder—and works at the first big knot he finds.

Ignis arches his back ever-so-slightly, trying to guide Noct’s hands where he needs them most, and has to bite back a moan when he finds the right spot. “You’re too good to me,” he murmurs, rolling one shoulder forward with marked relief.

“We both know that’s not true.”

Ignis laughs, quiet and a little raspy as Noct cants his hips forward, giving him space to lean back. Noct’s hands are in his hair now, pads of his fingers rubbing lazy circles on his scalp. He can feel the rise and fall of Noct’s chest with each breath, and he tries to match his own breathing to the slow, easy pace. When he presses his ear to Noct’s breastbone, he can hear the steady thrum of his heartbeat.

He could fall asleep like this.

The darkness that laps at the edges of wakefulness is familiar. He breathes in time with Noct, the wheezing ache in his chest dissolving bit by bit. The arms around him are warm, the form beneath him is sturdy. It feels good. It feels right.

It feels like home.

In the hazy bliss of near-unconsciousness, he thinks he forms his mouth into the shape of, “I love you.”

The press of lips to the crown of his head is all he needs in return.

[chocolatequeennk]

Being to Timelessness Timeline

It’s been over two years since I posted the first chapter of To Make Much of Time. Since then, I’ve written several outtakes and extra scenes that fall within the larger stories, and it can be hard to figure out what comes next. If you like to read things in the strictest order possible, this master post is for you. 

All links are to AO3, simply to keep things looking neat and to avoid confusion. Stories are teen unless otherwise indicated

Series summary: She’d once held all of Time in her hands, and when she did, she saw a timeline where it could finally be the Doctor in the TARDIS with Rose Tyler–as it should be. She saw, and she pulled… A canon divergence series starting with the tail end of Tooth and Claw.

Eternity in her Eyes Nine x Rose, all ages

The Doctor looks into Time and sees a future where he’s with Rose forever. He can’t force it to happen, but he can leave Rose a hint. Prequel to To Make Much of Time.

To Make Much of Time, 1-32 Ten x Rose

The Doctor thought he’d removed all traces of the Vortex from Rose, but there was still something of the Wolf about her. What would have changed if he’d been forced to face that–and if Rose had understood what she was becoming?

We Don’t Need Those Ten x Rose

On Barcelona, Rose goes shopping for a gift for the Doctor and almost gets more than she bargained for.

Waterfall Hikes Ten x Rose

The Doctor is once again showing off his vast knowledge, but he doesn’t know everything.

To Make Much of Time, 33-epilogue Ten x Rose

Sleep Now Ten x Rose

The Doctor has always claimed he didn’t mind staying all night with Rose. Why?

Time is Still A-Flying, 1-6 Ten x Rose

With a bond and a promise of forever, the Doctor and Rose have managed to escape the trap set for them in Torchwood. But Time is not yet done with them. The Master is still in London and Election Day draws ever closer. He’s tried to separate them once; will they survive a second attempt?

Hope is Where Forever Begins Ten x Rose

It's the first day of their honeymoon, and the Doctor has taken Rose to the planet Esperas to enjoy their harvest festival. With the leaves crunching beneath their feet and the cool temperatures encouraging them cuddle, it's the perfect romantic destination.

Time is Still A-Flying, 7-21 Ten x Rose

To All the Men I Was Before Ten x Rose, all ages

When the TARDIS helps Rose find winter clothes to wear when the Doctor takes them ice skating, she brings out a old scarf the Doctor hasn't seen in years.

Time is Still A-Flying, 22-30 Ten x Rose

Calling Home Ten x Rose, all ages

It's been a year since Rose burned up a sun to say good-bye to her mother. When the TARDIS detects Weeping Angels in London before the Battle of Canary Wharf, she has one more chance to talk to her.

Time is Still A-Flying, 32-epilogue, Ten x Rose

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, Ten x Rose, with cameo by Five

The Doctor and Rose made it through a year of the Master's hospitality, and now they're ready to get back to their old life--travelling the universe, and finding the trouble that's just the bits in between. Or at least they think they are. A disastrous voyage on the Titanic shows them that they aren't quite as healed as they've been claiming to be.

Taking Time Ten x Rose, with cameo by One

Their year with the Master left wounds deeper than they wanted to admit, but now, the Doctor and Rose are ready to take the time necessary to heal.

But Being Spent Ten x Rose

In To Make Much of Time, the TARDIS brought Rose back from Pete's World just before the Void closed. What if that hadn't happened? When Rose starts travelling with the dimension cannon, how will they react to all the near misses when they can tell, thanks to their bond, that they're in the same universe again? An alternate ending of my own fic, because I really wanted to explore this idea, but I also wanted TMMOT to be a Doomsday fixit.

Where Rose Belongs Jackie POV

Jackie hadn’t wanted her daughter to fall in love with an alien. Though she’d (very) gradually warmed up to the Doctor, she was still glad to have Rose with her in the parallel universe. But when the loss hit Rose harder than she’d expected, she began to wonder where Rose really belonged.

But Being Spent, 2-6, Ten x Rose, Eight x Rose

[sevdrag]

dreamwidth update: the sweet subtleness of time

...or some other shittastic ~~pensive~~ title because I'm so fucking out of goddamn fucks already it's the 14th half of january is gone jesus christ stop fucking moving so fast i would like off this ride thanks

I like the organization of "new year resolutions" not really because I believe you need to wait for a calendar year to make serious changes, but because there's something very neat about the way things can slot into having to write a new date on all your sign-offs and checks do people still use checks? i only have to sign them at work and lists and notes; to the excel spreadsheet that is my mind1, I like the way aligning change with change sorts itself.

This year I am returning to quantifiable goals in some ways, since the general vagueness of "do X more" may be more friendly but does not truly work in the lifestyle I have at the moment. I wanted to do a deep introspective post as a lead in but fuck that, I already have two truly severe horror stories about 20172 and it's the 14th, but I feel like I want to make a statement about the year before I devolve back into bitchcraft and wizardry.

As another change this year, I am looking for friends to help keep me accountable to these things. I've already roped and wrangled a couple people along with me, but if you have similar goals, let's discuss ways we can shame uh motivate SHAME each other into proceeding, or mainly just me, I require someone to - not compete with, but to keep up with, in a way, anyway, I am terrible so do stop.

So here is a list of my intentions for what I have labeled 12/52/365/20173:

Health. Rather than breaking this down into a tale of my woes and triggering an actual breakdown I will instead list the targets:

Get more than 4.5 hours of (good, deep, REM) sleep on average. According to my Fitbit, my average in 2016 was below 4.5 hours4. This involves a lot of things, including going to bed earlier and somehow figuring out how robots relax.

Working out. My goal for working out is to visit the gym - or otherwise work out - on at least 1/3 of the days of 2017: 122/365/2017. 122 visits. This is 2-3 workouts a week on average which should be doable for someone with fibro, assuming I keep them reasonable.

General. Continue stocking and making healthy food at home. Drink less at home5. Go back to packing lunches for work.

Weight/Size. Due to medication changes, 3 surgeries, and a major job change with severely increased my responsibilities, I gained 25-30 lb in 2017, putting me into the beginnings of an unhealthy place I don't want to be6. It's also fairly annoying to be at the upper limit of most of my clothing, to be frank. My goal is to use the above 3 points to try to lose 25+ pounds in 2017, OR return to the range of a size 8-107 where my clothing lives. 25/2017. A half a pound a week will do.

Writing. lassarina is my partner here; we have pledged to write a fic a week of at least 100 words using a list of prompts we gathered earlier. (Of course, I am already behind, although I plan to work on that immediately after this entry.) 52/2017. The hope, of course, is that writing small things helps to spur the writing of larger things. They will be posted on AO3 and linked from here.

subgoal: at least 1 entry a week on DW (52/2017), and 1 entry a week on my secret business blog which I will share once I have some substance (52/2017).

Art. justira is my partner here; we have, quite hilariously, pledged to draw a thing a day. For Ira, those things may be recognizable as art; for me, I reserve the right to draw a shit doodle with my finger on my iPhone, as long as it is a drawing of some sort. They'll be posted right here at the Feymarch Library where most of my art shame lives.

Home. Of course I have big statements to make about the first floor remodel I want to do, but honestly this is about habits, so my 2017 goal is to declutter my life. Every day I will do at least 1 chore dedicated to decluttering my home8 or otherwise making my life easier (cooking a big meal for the week, etc).

Mental. A few mantras I am focusing on:

Allow hobbies to be chores. This sounds counter-intuitive, but last year I got away from a lot of hobbies I love because I had "so much other shit to do" that was more important in my mind. This year, writing, art, knitting, gaming, reading; these are allowed to be chores I can give priority to. It's okay to write if I still have dishes to do.

Recharge your battery. If I have a night where I am truly in too much pain to do anything, I need to stop whining and griping about that, and instead focus on my own comfort and recovery, because self-care is allowed to be a priority, also.

Ground myself. I'm not a nice person by default9 so making a pledge to share the love or be kinder doesn't really mean anything to me; but I believe I can eliminate some of the negative energy by grounding myself more and letting it just pass on into the neutral environment rather than building up a static charge.

Be more of who you are. I lost my way at work somewhat this year faced with a gigantic new challenge with no lessening of my previous responsibilities, interpersonal conflicts, and some sporadic and questionable criticism. Moving forward I need to remember who the fuck I am and be that lady as hard as possible, because that's where I am awesomest.

Allow myself to unplug. I don't have to be tied to my phone - not just for work, but texting with friends or playing stamina games. I can leave it in the corner and just be for an evening.

Work. I need to focus on managing more: I am a manager, not a contributor, and I need to focus more on leading and guiding people in big-picture ways towards improvement. Too many people list me as a project leader or member, when I should not be a worker on anyone's project - and this is what makes my job so unmanageable. It isn't just me letting go; I need to make it clear to others that there should be more than one person who knows how to do the things I do.

Family & Friends.

See my nieces at least once a month. See my parents at least once a quarter.

Continue to work with my partner on this great relationship we have developed. Learn to ask him for help more, and learn where his boundaries are for asking help. Show love and appreciation better. Develop a good schedule for spending more time together - we are both very obviously happier and healthier when we do.

Try to visit someone or travel at least once a quarter -- traveling is really costly to me in terms of energy, but I have broken through some of my traveling-and-health fears last year (Japan!) so it would be cool to travel a bit with friends when the opportunity is there.

Stay in touch: post, email, text. Reach out in new areas.

Seven is my lucky number. That's 2017.

1 (mind palace?? nothing so fancy; my brain is a four-dimensional fully-formulated spreadsheet archive with tabs, complete with charts, graphs, and little programs that sort by categories and make a smiley face out of pixels.)

2 the first, about my fucking furnace; the second, about my fucking supervisor. stay tuned for more great literature on what makes my life a goddamned shitshow shitcom!

3 because I want to quantify it and report on things, see, like the project manager i am

4 Now, the reason I am not dead is because there is also some restless sleep in there, but the problem is twofold: (a) i only get 4.5 fucking hours of the good sleep (b) the good sleep comes in 30-45 minute spurts which is nowhere near what's needed for mental recovery (c) for fibromyalgia one of the most productive and healing things you can do is get REM sleep.

5 lolololoLLOLOLOLLOOLLOOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLL

6 lots of family history of pre-diabetes; I've already noticed my hypoglycemia and blood sugar problems are getting worse. I realize this isn't always correlated to weight but as there is some data pointing that way (scientific as well as family), I want to be sure to avoid it, because dude if you stack fuckin diabetes on top of this stack of medical bullshit I may just ravine myself

7 since women's sizes can never make up their damn minds

8 on bad days this might actually be something like "put dishes in dishwasher" but let's face it sometimes even that doesn't happen

9 nothing against anyone, I'm just kind of sociopathic and hate people in general; i've learnt to "play nice" and I can and do feel love for specific people, but i'm really just not friendly

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