#also 'passed gas' and 'pooted'

[gxlden-angels]

I know this isn't strictly christian, but it's so funny imagining that Jesus H. Christ is just so personally offended if I say "fart" that we had to make new christian-friendly phrases to talk about ripping ass

[malicedragoness]

How the Kombatants Fart

No one:

ABSOLUTELY NO ONE AT ALL:

Me: I wonder how they fart?

No one asked for this, but my immature ass is up at almost midnight over here writing dumbass shit like this.

Please feel free to ignore this and never read it again. 🤣🤣🤣

@spideypotpie @theprinceofchocobos also helped to co-write this. 🤣😭

- - - -

Kabal - Pre burns or post burns, this man will not care if his s/o farts in front of him. It’s a perfectly natural body function, and he’ll tell you “better out than in!” Expect some jokes headed your way though. He’ll pretend your farts blew him away and proceed to launch himself over the couch to prove his point.

Also, be careful when he farts. He’s loud and proud and will clear a room in seconds! And if he EVER asks you “pull my finger” DON’T DO IT!

Erron - Well, this cowboy does mention beans a lot in his intros... so you know he’s gonna be farting a lot. He mainly does it in his sleep and you wake up from it because you’re choking. You try to tell Erron this and he completely denies it. It’s only when you set up a camera and show the playback of him blowing ass while he’s asleep does he believe you and apologized afterwards.

Johnny - Good lord, get ready for the most immature jokes of a lifetime of you fart in front of this man. He’s waving his hand in front of his face in an exaggerated motion and lots of “phews!” He will literally act like a five year old and keep making fart jokes for about 15 minutes.

Johnny has silent but deadly farts and will crop dust with absolutely no guilt! He’ll let it out and casually walk around everyone with a giant smirk as he listens to everyone lament about the smell. And say “you smelt it you dealt it.” Fucking childish.

Kuai - He’s the grandmaster to the Lin Kuei. He does not fart in front of anybody. How dare you ask or accuse him of such a thing! But when he does, he farts cool gusts of air.

Kitana - She does her best to keep a calm composure and regal appearance in front everyone. And she certainly doesn’t want to something as disgusting and inappropriate as fart in front of her s/o, no matter how long you’ve been together. It’s happened one time where she was so stressed out dealing with important dignitaries all day and she finally got a chance to relax in her chambers. You went to go cheer her up and she started to relax and laugh at the jokes you were telling and it slipped out. That’s the only time you’ve seen Kitana freeze in place and start blushing a deep red! It wasn’t even loud, it was just a little poof of air and it even sounded as regal as her.

Jade - Doesn’t fart. At all. And if she does it doesn’t stink and you will never be able to tell because it smells like lemongrass. She’s literally a perfect woman and can do no wrong.

Kung Lao - If he’s in front of his guy friends, such as Liu Kang for example, he’ll let it rip all day long and joke about it. But if he’s in front of his s/o, he’s fucking mortified if it happens. He’ll look at you with wide eyes and give you some dumbass excuse “uh, uh, it was uh... someone stepped on a frog!” And then he’ll high tail it out of there blushing like a fool.

Kenshi - Kenshi tries his best to leave the room when he needs to pass gas. But if you ever catch him he lets out soft poots. He’ll turn pink and stay quiet for a second before he says, “Let’s move on.” Before he walks past you and never mentions it again.

[hadeschan]

item # K12F48

VERY RARE Rian Hua Ga-lohk Prai Gra-síp, Wat Don Yannawa, Nua Alpaka, Roon Raek, Pim Yai, Pim Hu Liam. A large-size Ghosts Whispering amulet, made from minted nickel alloy with an effigy of a human skull circled by cabalistic writings in the front and a dolly cabalistic writings (Yant Tukkata) in the back. And the suspension hole on the top of the coin is in a rectangular shape. The nickel alloy type, the number of production is unknown possibly in hundreds, but lesser than the copper type. Made to commemorate a BE 2500 (CE 1957) Ngan Lang Pa Cha, the ritual for digging up the dead, the Thai ceremony to pamper neglected human remains of Wat Don Yannawa. Made by Luang Phor Geun, the Abbot of Wat Don Yannawa (Wat Borom Sathon), Bangkok as its first Batch of Rian Hua Ga-lohk Prai Gra-síp.

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Rian Hua Ga-lohk Prai Gra-síp was made to contain the spirits of the dead whose remains were neglected at the Pa Cha Wat Don. Those spirits did not properly pass over. Some may have met a sudden untimely death and remained confused after their passing, trying to communicate with anyone that is sensitive to the paranormal. Other realizes they’re dead and are afraid to go towards the light. And others stay behind, in order to take care of unfinished business. Those spirits are believed to be trapped in the purgatory, and sunk in its own thought. Purgatory, also called The World between Worlds, is a spiritual realm that traps lost and tortured souls. The rituals of making Rian Hua Ga-lohk Prai Gra-síp pulled spirits out of the purgatory, and later enter the physical realm (human world), and ask their spirits to stay in the amulets. The spirits in this amulet will help their master to do anything his/her asks for, and the spirits would gain merits from helping their master, and carry their merits to the next world.

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BEST FOR: Thais say “Kon Dee Phee Kum” which means the spirits help restore, comfort, guide, protect, and sustains good person. The spirits would do no harm, but hold you safe and hold you strong in both health and finance. It also brings luck to one who loves gambling. The spirits are with you everywhere you go. They are following you all the time. They watch your back, they protect you and prevent danger. They blind people who are going to harm you. They cast magic charm and love spells on people around you. Wealth Fetching, Maha Larp (it brings lucky wealth), Metta Maha Niyom (it makes people around you love you, be nice to you, and willing to support you for anything), Kaa Kaai Dee (it helps tempt your customers to buy whatever you are selling, and it helps attract new customers and then keep them coming back, Kongkraphan (it makes you invulnerable to all weapon attack), Klawklad Plodpai (it pushes you away from all danger), Maha-ut (it helps stop gun from shooting at you), and warning of danger. Ponggan Poot-pee pee-saat Kunsai Mondam Sa-niat jan-rai Sat Meepit (it helps ward off evil spirit, demon, bad ghost, bad omen, bad spell, curse, accursedness, black magic, misfortune, doom, and poisonous animals). And this amulet helps protect you from manipulators, backstabbers, and toxic people. And Baihuay, the spirits of the dead in this amulet may tell/give hints of winning lottery numbers.

………………………………………………..

The Blessing / Consecration Ceremony was held at the Cemetery of Wat Don Yannawa (Pa Cha Wat Don), attended by:-

- Phor Than Klai of Wat Suan Khan

- Luang Phor Lee of Wat Asokaram

- Luang Phor Jong of Wat Natangnok

- Luang Phor Tay Kongthong of Wat Sam Ngam (Wat Aranyikaram)

- Luang Phu Toh of Wat Pradu Chimphli

- Luang Phor Pare of Wat Pikulthong

And other Guru Monks…

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Pa Cha Wat Don

Pa Cha Wat Don, the cemetery at Wat Don or Wat Don Yannawa (Wat Borom Sathon) is the most haunted cemetery in the history of Thailand. An area of 150 Rai (59.30 Acre) filled with over 10,000 unclaimed bodies (unnatural death), collected from the scene of murder, all kinds of accidents, disasters, and perils in Bangkok. Those bodies were brought to Wat Don Yannawa by Teochew Association of Thailand, Hainan Association of Thailand, and Poh Tek Tung Foundation of Thailand. Nobody would come near this area at night. And Luang Phor Geun was Chief Abbot of Wat Don Yannawa who took care of all poor souls.

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Ngan Lang Pa Cha

The Digging up the dead, the Thai ceremony/ritual to pamper neglected human remains, helping their spirits to “move on”, and making room for further unidentified corpses. The unclaimed bodies will be dug out of graves to be cleaned and put into storage in a warehouse before being cremated, in order to make room for further unidentified corpses. A Buddhist mass cremation ceremony will be held. The Poh Teck Tung Foundation collects thousands of unclaimed bodies annually, mostly belonging to fatal accident victims, and buries them temporarily while waiting for relatives to claim them. At the Ngan Lang Pa Cha, the volunteers will clean the remains of unclaimed bodies after the bodies were dug out from a graveyard. The volunteers will exhume the bones of the nameless dead, who have no one else to care for them, at a cemetery. At the end, they will perform a ceremony, and a mass exhumation on the remains to aid the deceased in their spiritual rebirths.

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*with Certificate of Authenticity issued by Thaprachan Buddha Amulet Magazine (prathaprachan-mag.com)

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DIMENSION: 2.60 cm in diameter / 0.20 cm thick

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item # K12F48

Price: price upon request, pls PM and/or email us hadeschan@gmx.us

100% GENUINE WITH 365 DAYS AUTHENTICITY GUARANTEE.

Item location: Hong Kong, SAR

Ships to: Worldwide

Delivery: Estimated 7 days handling time after receipt of cleared payment. Please allow additional time if international delivery is subject to customs processing.

Shipping: FREE Thailandpost International registered mail. International items may be subject to customs processing and additional charges.

Payments: PayPal / Western Union / MoneyGram /maybank2u.com / DBS iBanking / Alipay / Wechat Pay / PromptPay International

**************************************

[peculiarmindset]

SLEEPOVER! Yuri on ice boys. Fart competition ?

*Fart Contests are the best!!!!! 😻😽 This takes place during the Yuri On Stage drama since they did end up sleeping over if I remember. This is when most of them got drunk and before Chihoko was mentioned.

“Victooorrrr! I love you!” Yuuri screamed, rushing forward to hug his fiancé.

Victor, who was just as wasted as his fiancé, smiled widely as he sloppily hugged the other back. “I love you more Лапочка!”

Yurio, who was sitting next to Otabek, rolled his eyes at the idiot couple. “Can you two drunkards be any more grosser?” He spat in disgust.

“It’s called love, Yura! TRUE LOVE FOREVER!” Georgi, who was also as drunk as hell, cheered before sobbing as he was reminded once again by his ex.

Yurio backed away from his fellow rinkmate before taking a quick surveillance of the room.

Victor, Yuuri, Georgi, Phichit, Seung Gil and Nishigori were all shit-faced drunk at the moment.

While all of the underaged skaters like himself, Otabek, Minami, Leo and Guang Hong were all sober and were now objected to watch the other drunkshits make complete fools of themselves.

As for Chris, Yurio wasn’t really sure if the Swiss skater was drunk or not since he acted the same either way.

“Let’s have a contest!” Yuuri yelled out, hanging onto Victor which made the both of them slip down to the floor.

“Yay! I second the notion!” Phichit cheered, holding up his half-empty bottle of beer.

“We have no mooooorrreeee to drink though….” Victor slurred, giggling as his fiancé smashed his face into his chest.

“We don’t need to do a drinking contest.” Chris pointed out, with a piece of headgear that he stolen from the armor of one of the knights in other room on his head. “What about having a more interesting type of contest?”

“Ooh…Like what?” Minami’s were sparkling at the mention of doing something fun. “A video game contest? Or who could jump the farthest? Or whoever could hold their breaths the longest? Orrrr…..whoever could burp or fart the loudest?-”

“FART!” Nishigori shouted out before getting weirdly cuddly with passed out Seung Gil on the floor beside him.

“Fart contest it is!” Chris decided.

Yuri made a disgusted face. “You’re not serious are you?”

Apparently Chris was serious and not only he but the rest of the idiot drunks were up for the contest too. Minami was excited to play and Leo and Guang Hong got pressured into joining as well.

As for Yurio, he initially refused before he got rattle up by Victor and Georgi that in the end, he changed his mind and decided to join as well- making sure to drag Otabek along with him to share in this hell.

“Loudest fart wins!” Yuuri announced, swaying a bit in his place. “Start!” And with that, the Japanese man let out a good sounding fart afterwards.

Brrrraaaaaaappppp!

“Oh, for the love of-” Yurio began before Victor cheered, clapping for his fiancé.

“Nice one Yuuurrrrii! I’m next!” And with that, the Russian gave out an equally loud fart that almost matched his love’s one.

Brrrrraaaaaaaaaappppp!

“HAHAHAHA! You guys are awesome but I can totally beat that!” Nishigori boomed out in laughter before booming out a fart of his own.

BRRRRRRRTTTTTT!

“Ooh! Me next! Me next!” Minami raised his hand excitedly before pushing out his own fart- this one was more intense in smell then in volume.

Pffffffffftttttt…..

“Ughhhh….it stinks!” Guang Hong gagged as Leo pinched his nose.

“You guys join in too!” Minami urged them, pouting that his own fart was considerably softer than the others.

Both of them blushing, the two young skaters ended up pushing out farts at the same time- both of them audible, but nothing more than ordinary.

Prrrrrtttttt!…..

Prrrrrtttttt!…..

“Okay, we give up.” Leo automatically said as the Chinese skater was hiding his face in embarrassment. One fart from the both of them was more than enough.

Bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttttt!

“Ooh! My went on the longest!” Phichit giggled, drunkingly taking pics of everyone with his phone (though some of the photos ended up blurry since the Thai skater couldn’t keep still for long). “Seung Gil! You fart too!” He told the Korean skater who was currently passed out on the floor.

But apparently the drunken Korean had heard him as there was loud, gun-like fart that exited his bottom.

PRRRRT!

“And Seung Gil’s made his contribution!” Nishigori cheered, taking a shot of sake afterwards.

“I, Georgi Popvich shall go next and blow you all away with my prowess!” Georgi announced before bending over and letting out a fart of his own.

Brrrrrpppp!

Yurio snorted. “Hmph. That wasn’t anything special.” He pointed out, making the devestated Russian to cry and moan about his ex-girlfriend once again (what did Anya have to do with this kind of thing?!)

“Who’s next?” Yuuri asked, swaying from side to side as his fiancé had his arms around his squishy middle, blowing raspberries all over him.

Yurio made a disgusted sound at the couple’s gross behavior as Chris announced, “Little Yurio shall be next!”

The blonde swerved his head at Chris, giving the Swiss skater his ‘I’ll beat the **** out of you’ face. “Like fuck, I will!” He changed his mind from earlier- there was no way he would make an idiot of himself like these dumbasses.

Chris smirked at him, “Oh, or would you like your dear boyfriend to go first before you, my dear innocent maiden?” He teased.

The Russian blonde’s nostrils flared in complete fury. “What the fuck did you call me you-”

PRRRRRRRRRT!

Yurio gasped, stopping whatever he was about to say as he looked at his friend with disbelief. “Did you just fart, Otabek?!” He demanded, shocked.

Otabek shrugged, not looking a bit embarrassed as he gave the blonde a small smile. “I think you should just let one out and just be done with it, Yura. I’m sure they would stop bothering you if you did.’ He pointed out to the other.

"Unless you aren’t able to…?” Chris teased, with the rest of the drunkards behind him cackling and yelling how 'weak’ Yurio was.

Yurio couldn’t take any more of their shit any longer as he finally gave in. “What the fuck- FINE!” And with that, the blonde gave a loud grunt and pushed whatever gas he had in him, outside.

Poot!

The blonde blushed widely as everyone bursted out in laughter at the sorry excuse of a fart (aside from Otabek, who merely patted his shoulder in comfort).

“FUCK YOU BASTARDS! GO TO HELL AND DIE!!!” Yurio screamed, flipping them all off before grabbing Otabek and dragging them both out of there- with Leo, Guang Huang and a complaining Minami following right behind.

“Chris! You haven’t gone yet too, you know~” Victor pointed out, giggling as Yuuri nuzzled into the top of his hair.

Chris winked as he lifted his leg until his foot was at the same height as his head, touching the wall. “Well, here I go!”  And with that, the Swiss skater blasted out a bomb explosion of a fart into the room.

BRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

The room erupted in gasps (plus a loud “Amazing!” from Victor) at the loud fart.

Soon after, all the drunk men fell over themselves in laughter, each one letting out a few farts in the process- which made them laugh even harder at the hilarious sounds coming from each of their butts.

Chris grinned at the cheerful and gassy room as he blew everyone a kiss from both his lips and his ass.

“Shall I say….we are all the winners tonight! Now, let’s party!”

[kootenaygoon]

So,

Chris was asleep in my passenger seat, wearing a leprechaun dress.

We’d connected on the last day of Kamp Festival, the pair of us haggard and semi-conscious in my fold-out chairs. Chris was monologuing about her festival experience. She told me she jumped off a cliff, she overcame her fear of heights, she was proud of herself. She told me that these grown-ups playing in the colour games had legitimately reverted to their childhood bullying ways, making things all ultra-competitive instead of fun. Of course. 

“But I’ve met some amazing people here,” she said. “Like I think I’m going to remember these people for a long time.”

I could tell by how long-winded and earnest Chris was being that she was on something strong, maybe acid. She was about to crash hard, and everyone was packing up camp to leave. Becca had left for the coast with a Victoria DJ she knew, so I was all by my lonesome when it came to paying for gas. Chris offered to pay $40 for a ride home, but I didn’t accept it. I just wanted to make sure she got home safe, because she wasn’t going to be sober any time soon. I couldn’t imagine leaving her with a stranger.

Once we pulled out of the Kamp venue on to the highway, we were pretty much immediately stuck in a line-up. Chris put down the window and stuck her bare feet out into the wind. A minute or two later she’d slumped into herself, snoring gently, her head lolling slightly from side to side. I knew it wasn’t a big deal, that people did drugs like this all the time and woke up fine, that she wasn’t necessarily going to overdose in my passenger seat. My legs vibrated along with the music as I ground my teeth in concern. What if she had taken fentanyl or something? What if I arrived backed in Nelson with a corpse for a passenger?

“Hey,” I said, taking her arm. “You’re feeling okay? You’ll let me know if you need to puke or anything?”

She nodded. “I’m good. I’ve got some water here. I think I’m just going to sleep, if that’s all right. You can keep the music up, if you want. I like it when there’s music playing while I sleep. It fucks with my dreams.”

Did she she say that, I asked myself, or did I?

Aussie Chris lived with Chelsea up in Rosemont, and knew Blayne from before. She was a server at Vienna Cafe, a night club kid in her early 20s. She was biracial, half-asian, with a smattering of freckles under her eyes and shoulder-length brown mermaid hair. She was on a one-year visa and was looking to hit every music festival she could while she was in the country. When it came to partying, she was a professional. I liked her style a lot. She had a busy intellect. 

As we sat idle during the ferry crossing, I reflected on the last few days. The thing with Becca had ended on a bad note. We’d never spent this many days together in a row, and she was starting to realize what a drag I was. She was also less than thrilled to hear me talk about Paisley non-stop, whining that I would never get over her or that I was still processing things.

“I don’t mean this to be patronizing, because I do think you’re awesome, but I think you should consider therapy very seriously. It seems like you’re in a dark place, and I don’t know how to help you.”

“I never said I needed help.”

She laughed. “It’s like you have this giant sign over you that reads: NEEDS HELP. In an adorable way, but it’s alarming too. That you’re living in this constant state of desperation. Honestly, I think Nelson might be bad for you.”

While I pulled off the ferry and back on to the highway, I nudged Chris to pull her legs back into the cab. We needed the windows up. I thought about my job at the Star, and how repetitive the work was becoming. We’d hit all the available topics when it came to your typical small town goings-on, but we lacked depth. The real story was all these fucking overdoses, but they seemed to be outside our reach. There was a shroud of silence over these deaths, so they didn’t end up having a public record. I wondered how much was being kept from me, what angle I’d been missing. Why all this secrecy?

I wanted to help.

The reason I named my UBC thesis manuscript “Whatever you’re on, I want some” was because I was despairing about a friend lost to heroin addiction, also named Chris. We had grown up together, gone to the same youth group and camp together, but somehow he’d ended up trapped on the Downtown Eastside, en route to becoming a derelict soul. I gave up on him. That’s what made me feel guiltiest, was that I abandoned him. At a certain point I realized it just wasn’t healthy for me to know him anymore, no matter how close we’d been as teens. Addiction had defined our relationship, had ended it, and I wanted to understand why.

“I’ve been really into the paintings you’ve been posting,” Chris said, stretching out her arms as we slalomed through the woods. Slocan Lake looked just as infinite as ever. I turned down the music. “All the self portraits.”

I nodded, pretended to be embarrassed. “Yeah, I’ve just done a few now. I was inspired by this painter John Cooper, who I interviewed for the Star. He’s this guy in his 70s with like hundreds of students in the Kootenays and he’s a fucking legend. He knows Tom Robbins,” I said.

“His colour choices are really trippy, like lots of purple and crazy bursts of the whole rainbow for mundane things. Like he’ll do a rusted out car but suddenly it’s neon green with purple highlights, you know?”

She nodded, looking out the window. “I like paintings that have psychedelic elements like that. Paintings that take you somewhere beyond natural.”

I lit a joint. “And the guy’s crazy. You can just feel it in his work, this extra electricity. When I interviewed him he kept me on the phone for like 45 minutes talking. He tells all these crazy stories about the 60s and he’s just fucking hilarious. He’s known as the Toad Road painter because he’s painted the same rock like a hundred times.” 

“Hilarious.”

“Oh, and naked ladies. He paints lots of naked chicks.”

Chris had heard about my photo shoot with Blayne, and had talked to Chelsea about appearing as a model in one of my shoots. She had experience, so she would be completely comfortable in front of the camera. I’d been amassing subjects over my years in the Kootenays, shooting every kind of woman I met every way that I knew how. 

I loved them all. 

From there we continued to weave and dip, the RAV humming along like a space ship, as we worked our way through the joint. Chris told me about how she’d watched Joe Nillo live-paint at Kamp and how incredible it was to see him channel the festival’s energy into his canvas. She was roommates with the subject, Kylie, so she could see through all the goddess window dressing.

“It’s hard to tell whether he’s in love with her, or the painting.”

I laughed. “Why can’t it be both? He can channel his love for her into the work, even if they’re not together, right? He can remember the good things about her, the things he fell in love with. Those things don’t become irrelevant the moment you break up. There’s still meaning there.”

Chris looked at me, bemused. She knew I was talking about Paisley. “Listen, man, I’m just saying Joe’s got this way of channeling whole narratives into these images. They’re the sort of paintings you can sit down and read them like a book.”

“Like they have little details you have to look for?”

“Exactly. And that one you’ve seen isn’t his trippiest painting by far. We’ve got a bunch of his pieces still back at our house, I’ll show you. His paintings sing.”

Eventually Chris fell back asleep, as I was passing through Winlaw. From there I hurtled through South Slocan with my music back up, and back on the highway to Nelson. I thought about Joe Nillo and John Cooper, how they each embodied an approach to art that I could try to emulate. Like Joe I could produce work that was spiritually-infused, so that engaging with it feels like a religious experience. And like John I could gleefully go mad, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all while revelling in the universe’s exquisite beauty. I was sick of being just a journalist, of being constrained to reporting facts. I wanted to be a painter, an artist. I wanted to tap into the magic of the Kootenays and shoot it into my veins.

“I’m so full of love I feel like I’m going to paint the walls with my gore,” Chris said, but by then she wasn’t Chris anymore. It was the other Chris, from my childhood. He stared straight ahead from his passenger seat, angry.

“You remember that time we had a contest to see who could stay in that freezing lake longer, up my cabin. Do you remember that?”

“Yeah, I won. But you hogged the warm shower for like half an hour.”

“So who was the real winner?”

“I don’t even know what to feel about you, man. Like at least you’ve found a clean supply so I don’t need to read your headline yet.”

He laughed. “You act like you know how this is going to end, but you don’t.”

“This ends with me punching you in the head as hard as I can.”

“The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club.”

I turned back in my seat, and rubbed my forehead with a knuckle. It was Bob Dylan playing, so I stuck with that for a moment. It was a song I associated with my high school drama teacher, Mr. Van Camp, who sang this drunkenly on the last night of our provincial theatre festival: People are crazy and times are strange. I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range. I used to care, but things have changed.

“If you were a character in The Wire,” I said to Chris. “You would be Wallace.”

“And what would that make you? Poot?”

I smiled and glanced over my shoulder to where Andrew Stevenson was sitting surly, his muscled arms crossed as he looked out the window. Beside him was Ryan Tapp, listening to an iPod with his sunglasses on. If things got bad, these two were always nearby to step in. I had more power than people realized, than even I realized, but I was still figuring out how to harness it properly. If my life was The Wire, I wanted to control which character I was going to be. 

“Are you, kidding?” I said, reaching behind my seat to grab my grey shotgun. I felt the cold barrel in my palm as I pulled it into my lap, pointing it in Chris’ direction. I brought the barrel to his lips, and then his chest, and finally to his groin. I snickered with sinister pleasure.  

“Bitch, I’m Omar.”

The Kootenay Goon

[flatsuke]

The bidders when they fart

i cant believe im doing this yet here i am shitposting

pls dont take this seriously lmfao

@yumascarrotdick here’s the farting headcanon lmaoooo

if you want shitposting @maidofstars @2bedroom-baddestbidderlove @bolt8826

Eisuke: This little shit’s the type to blame others as soon as he farts, but everyone already knows it’s him because he’s the only one who’d make a big fucking deal out of it. His farts aren’t that loud or anything, really. In fact, they come out in cute little “toots.” He’s secretly embarrassed at how lame his farts sound. 

Soryu: Silent but violent. His farts are barely audible, so normally he’d be able to get away with it, if not for the god-awful smell. With the sheer amount of omelets he consumes daily, his farts always smell like rotten eggs mixed with Satan’s asshole. No one can hear him fart, but they all just know it’s him based on the odor alone. When people make fun of him, he brings out his gun to shut them up.

Baba: He has no shame whatsoever. His farts are like a classic whoppee cushion—not too stinky, somewhat loud, but annoying as fuck. He likes to make a big joke out of his farts, sometimes purposely sitting beside Ota or Mamoru just to piss them off.

Ota: In his defense, he tries to be stealthy about it. He always raises his voice when he feels a poot coming on. Also, he farts in tiny intervals to soften the blow (and hopefully, pass it off as nothing). Still, sometimes he isn’t able to control his mini-farts, so his little toot becomes a loud-ass horn.

Mamoru: He’s another person who just doesn’t give a damn. His farts are loud and proud, and best of all, they smell like absolute shit. They’re so bad, that the bidders have cleared the room every time they hear (and smell) the rancid shitstorm that comes out of his ass. Too bad he doesn’t give a shit.

Shuichi: He tries his best not to fart in public as much as possible. He usually holds it in the whole day, but at the expense of his comfort. Sometimes, he has this face that looks like he’s concentrating deeply, but no, that’s just him desperately (and painfully) controlling his sphincter muscle. When he’s finally, finally alone at home, he lets out a fucking cannon.

Luke: For some reason, he has no problem announcing his farts beforehand. He’s the type to gingerly lift his butt up to let the fart out, and it comes out sounding like a deflating balloon. One time, the others teased him about it, so Luke, with a straight face, explained the entire intestinal gas dynamics of flatulence to them, complete with morbidly graphic descriptions. They never made fun of him again.

Hikaru: He tries to play it off cool, but he’s cursed with having those awful wet farts. Hell, his farts sound like those diarrhea-esque sharts that give you a heart attack because you just fucking know there’s going to be something in your underwear. Poor Hikaru always has to go the bathroom to let out an air biscuit, lest he face public humiliation.

MC: She must have been a goddamn saint in her previous life because she was blessed enough to have those soft, barely-there farts. Her farts come out in gentle tufts of air, somewhat like little bubbles popping in a bubble bath. Everyone is completely baffled at how her farts barely stink at all, and she tells them it’s because her luck is so shitty that she deserves at least one good thing in this godforsaken life.

[preciousari]

I promise y’all I wasn’t trying to be funny at the end. (Poot=pass gas)😂😂😊. I also am not smarter than the average person, people just lack common sense. We should just call it rare sense. We cannot just go back to how our lives used to be. We have to make a conscious effort to minimize this virus. So because our government is mentally challenged at the moment, you can decide what reopening means to your family. Be smart. Protect yourself and your loved ones. It’s a hell of a price to pay if you’re wrong. I’m praying hard. 🙏🏾🙏🏾😇😇 😇 😇 😇 Tag @andersoncooper y’all I felt his pain. Talking to these government officials can’t be easy. (at Dutch Village, South Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_dPk1kFdKtZGK2nBIxMgHx-EfNVDjZBM5hQXs0/?igshid=1lau0gob5lh19

[usnewsaggregator-blog]

Mission comes back in 2nd half for win over Galileo

New Post has been published on http://usnewsaggregator.com/mission-comes-back-in-2nd-half-for-win-over-galileo/

Mission comes back in 2nd half for win over Galileo

http://www.sfgate.com/sports/article/Mission-comes-back-in-2nd-half-for-win-over-12295525.php

By Mitch Stephens

Updated 10:55 pm, Friday, October 20, 2017

Photo: Mason Trinca, Special To The Chronicle

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Mission Izair Jones (32) celebrates with his teammates after scoring a touchdown at Kezar Stadium in San Francisco, Calif. Friday, October 20, 2017.

Mission Izair Jones (32) celebrates with his teammates after scoring a touchdown at Kezar Stadium in San Francisco, Calif. Friday, October 20, 2017.

Photo: Mason Trinca, Special To The Chronicle

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Mission’s Jelani Al-Malik (3) stiff arms Antonio Lewis (7) at Kezar Stadium in San Francisco, Calif. Friday, October 20, 2017.

Mission’s Jelani Al-Malik (3) stiff arms Antonio Lewis (7) at Kezar Stadium in San Francisco, Calif. Friday, October 20, 2017.

Photo: Mason Trinca, Special To The Chronicle

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Mission’s Jelani Al-Malik (3) dodges Galileo players at Kezar Stadium in San Francisco, Calif. Friday, October 20, 2017.

Mission’s Jelani Al-Malik (3) dodges Galileo players at Kezar Stadium in San Francisco, Calif. Friday, October 20, 2017.

Photo: Mason Trinca, Special To The Chronicle

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Galileo’s Jackie Guo (2) celebrates the touchdown catch as Mission players Jelani Al-Malik (3) and Jaleel Bender (24) sit in disbelief at Kezar Stadium in San Francisco, Calif. Friday, October 20, 2017.

Galileo’s Jackie Guo (2) celebrates the touchdown catch as Mission players Jelani Al-Malik (3) and Jaleel Bender (24) sit in disbelief at Kezar Stadium in San Francisco, Calif. Friday, October 20, 2017.

Photo: Mason Trinca, Special To The Chronicle

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Galileo’s Yarvell Smith pushes for yardage against Mission defenders Jelani Al-Malik (left) and Cheeko Wells.

Galileo’s Yarvell Smith pushes for yardage against Mission defenders Jelani Al-Malik (left) and Cheeko Wells.

Photo: Mason Trinca, Special To The Chronicle

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Galileo’s Adrian Poot (13) looks to the ref for a touchdown confirmation at Kezar Stadium in San Francisco, Calif. Friday, October 20, 2017.

Galileo’s Adrian Poot (13) looks to the ref for a touchdown confirmation at Kezar Stadium in San Francisco, Calif. Friday, October 20, 2017.

Photo: Mason Trinca, Special To The Chronicle

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Mission’s I’Jah Pratt (6) attempts to outrun Galileo players at Kezar Stadium in San Francisco, Calif. Friday, October 20, 2017.

Mission’s I’Jah Pratt (6) attempts to outrun Galileo players at Kezar Stadium in San Francisco, Calif. Friday, October 20, 2017.

Photo: Mason Trinca, Special To The Chronicle

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Mission’s Jamal Dixon (4) dives for a touchdown. Dixon’s all-around game also included two forced fumbles and an interception.

Mission’s Jamal Dixon (4) dives for a touchdown. Dixon’s all-around game also included two forced fumbles and an interception.

Photo: Mason Trinca, Special To The Chronicle

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Mission’s Izair Jones (right) breaks free from Antonio Lewis (7) to score a touchdown at Kezar Stadium.

Mission’s Izair Jones (right) breaks free from Antonio Lewis (7) to score a touchdown at Kezar Stadium.

Photo: Mason Trinca, Special To The Chronicle

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Mission comes back in 2nd half for win over Galileo

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Mission’s football team overcame three first-half deficits, scoring three consecutive touchdowns to start the second half to record a 40-34 Academic Athletic Association win Friday over Galileo at Kezar Stadium.

Jelani Al-Malik rushed for 115 yards and three touchdowns, Cheeko Wells added 100 yards rushing and six tackles, and Jamal Dixon did a little bit of everything as Mission improved to 4-3 and 3-0 in AAA play.

Galileo, which got two touchdown passes and two 2-yard TD runs by Adrian Poot, dropped to 4-2 and 2-1. Poot made scoring throws of 20 yards to Jackie Guo and 27 yards to Reese Bickart.

“We’re definitely a second-half team,” Mission coach Greg Hill said. “We’re in great shape. We just put our foot on the gas and don’t let up.”

Dixon had only 30 yards rushing on six carries, but he added six tackles, forced two fumbles, intercepted a pass, scored a touchdown and had 70 yards of return yardage.

Down 28-20 at halftime, Hill went to the team’s ground game, and the Bears got very physical on defense, holding 5-foot-10, 200-pound Galileo running back Yarvell Smith to 46 yards on 13 carries, plus two catches for 58 yards. He had no touchdowns, but did score a two-point conversion.

In four previous games, Smith had 614 rushing yards and 11 touchdowns.

“I wouldn’t say he was our focus,” Hill said. “We played them pretty much straight up. But we knew he was their key player.”

Galileo scored with 2:30 left to close to 40-34, but Mission recovered the ensuing onside kick and ran out the clock. “Turnovers killed us,” Galileo coach Mark Huynh said. “And we couldn’t stop their run.”

#1 De La Salle-Concord 45, Monte Vista-Danville 7: Kairee Robinson rushed for two scores and Shamar Garrett returned a kickoff for a touchdown as the visiting Spartans (8-1) took a 45-7 halftime lead against the Mustangs (3-4).

#5 St. Francis 42, #18 Mitty 21: Darrell Page and Opeti Fangupo rushed for two touchdowns each and quarterback Reed Vettel threw two touchdown passes as the Lancers (5-2, 3-1 West Catholic Athletic League) went wire to wire to win at Mitty (5-2, 2-2). Page scored on runs of 34 and 11 yards, and Fangupo scored on runs of 2 and 11 yards. Vettel fired a 43-yard TD pass to Maurice Wilmer and a 21-yarder to Evan Williams. Mitty’s James Thomas had a 99-yard kickoff return for a touchdown.

#20 Liberty-Brentwood 23, #16 Antioch 6: Tyerell Sturges-Cofer rushed for 174 yards and a touchdown to help the host Lions earn a key Bay Valley Athletic League win. Antioch (5-2, 1-1) scored first on Willem Karnthong’s 20-yard touchdown keeper, but Liberty (7-1, 3-0) took the lead with 14 second-quarter points and held the Panthers to 153 yards of total offense en route to the victory.

#17 Half Moon Bay 28, #19 Menlo-Atherton 10: Chase Hofmann rushed for three touchdowns and Dylan Williams booted two field goals as the host Cougars (7-0, 2-0) posted a big Peninsula Athletic League Bay victory over the visiting Bears (4-3, 2-1). Williams had field goals of 32 and 49 yards and Hofmann scored on runs of 18, 1 and 4 yards. Spencer Corona scored on a 30-yard catch and run after a short pass by Miles Conrad for MA’s touchdown.

#23 St. Patrick-St. Vincent-Vallejo 47, St. Mary’s-Albany 21: Junior quarterback Akil Edwards accounted for four touchdowns and senior running back Marshel Martin two others as the host Bruins (7-0, 2-0 Tri-County Athletic League Rock Division) scored 40 or more points for the sixth straight game and pushed their winning streak to 14. St. Mary’s fell to 2-5, 1-1.

Riordan 26, St. Ignatius 20: Je’Lani Clark hauled in a 15-yard touchdown pass from Travis Benham in overtime to give the Crusaders (2-5, 1-3 WCAL) the win at Kezar Stadium. Riordan had tied the game at 20-20 with four minutes left in regulation on a 9-yard pass from Marcus Williams to Max Mezie. The extra point try failed. Charlie Katz had a touchdown run and a 58-yard touchdown pass to David Woodruff to give St. Ignatius (1-6, 0-4) a 14-6 lead. A 1-yard TD run by Lete Tofi and two-point conversion tied it 14-14 for Riordan before Mark Biggins’ 13-yard TD run gave SI a 20-14 lead late in the third.

SFS decision: The San Francisco Section announced that it will move its playoffs back to Nov. 24-25 and play its title game the following week. Games postponed last week due to poor air quality because of the Wine Country fires will be rescheduled for Nov. 17-18. It will mark the first time the SFS title game will not be played on Thanksgiving since 1963.

NCS decision: The North Coast Section executive committee decided to keep the four-week, 16-team playoff bracket this season. At an emergency meeting, it had considered reducing the playoffs in order to make up games canceled last week because of poor air quality.

Max Preps senior writer Mitch Stephens covers high school sports for The San Francisco Chronicle.

Original Article:

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[peculiarmindset]

Hi! I liked your yoi story...Im a huge KNB fan so can I give a prompt? You can choose any pairing but can there be farting in bed? tnx!

Here’s story number 2, this time for KNB. Heads up- I’m fine with any KNB pairing but I favor AkashixFurihata mostly so I’ll probably write them a lot for KNB.

In the Morning

Furihata Kouki yawned as he slowly opened his eyes, wincing slightly at the small sliver of sunlight that managed to break through the thick curtains and hit him directly on the face.

Giving another smaller yawn, he turn his head to nuzzle into the chest that he was currently lying on. Blinking out the rest of his sleepiness, Furihata carefully lifted his upper body, conscious not to jostle his lover and looked at the clock that was on the bedside table. 7:45 A.M.

Sitting up now Furihata stretched, feeling the bones in his body snapping back in place. Looking down at his body, Furihata flushed at all the love bites that were scattered across his chest…and arms…and his thighs….

Winter break had finally started the day before and with no school for the next two weeks, Furihata decided to spend his holidays with his boyfriend, Akashi Seijuurou. He was currently staying at one of the Akashi manors that was located in Kyoto.

Looking around the lavish bedroom he was in (he didn’t get much time to observe his surroundings last night as he and Akashi just crashed through the door as they flung their clothes off and hurriedly made their way to the king size bed) Furihata suddenly felt a little rumbling in his stomach.

Unfortunately, this type of rumbling wasn’t a warning for hunger, but instead a warning for something else.

Furihata bit his lip as he felt gas bubbling in his belly. If he had been alone in his room he would have just let it go with no other thought about it. But with his lover only a few inches away, that was a definite NO.

Slowly inching his way off the bed to head for the bathroom, Furihata let out a small squeak when two arms winded themselves around his waist.

Furihata thanked every god out there that his squeak was the only thing that came out of him.

“Mmm…Kouki? Where are you going?” Akashi mumbled, pulling Furihata down so he laid in his arms.

“U-uh, I u-um…” Furihata stuttered. Even though he had been dating the Rakuzan captain for almost six months now, he still found it awkward to do certain things with the other around. Doing things like showering together and doing couple-y stuff was perfectly fine. But when it came to regular guy stuff like burping and farting?

NO.

“Kouki…you weren’t planning on leaving me, were you?” Akashi asked with a warning tone in his voice. But when Furihata looked at him, he could tell that his lover was only teasing him.

Furihata flushed. “No! Of course not Sei, I was just…uh…” He trailed off. Everyone knew how nervous Furihata Kouki could be (hell, it took one month after he started dating Akashi for him to finally stop stuttering in front of the other man). But not everyone knew that Furihata was very painfully bathroom shy.

Public restrooms were torturous for him. He refused to use the urinals and would be super self-conscious when using the stalls. And he NEVER did more than urinate in public restrooms- if he had to do anything else, he would hold it no matter what until he could make it home. Just mentioning the need to go to the restroom was hard enough for Furihata.

Furihata could feel the trapped gas in his belly wanting to escape and he clenched his ass- Furihata felt even more vulnerable since he had nothing on due to their sexual activities the night before.

Oblivious to his boyfriend’s inner turmoil, Akashi leaned in and left light kisses on the other’s neck. “For trying to escape, I’ll just have to hold you here and punish you, hm?” Akashi smirked as he left a bite on the part he had kissed.

“Eh? But, um…Sei…” Furihata moaned as Akashi took that moment to steal his lips and started to make out with him. As he began to open his lips to welcome his lover’s seeking tongue, Furihata completely forgot about his need to use the bathroom. He began to wrap his arms around Akashi’s shoulders and pulled the other closer to him.

But unfortunately his body had not forgotten his need and just as Akashi began to bring his hands up to pinch one of his boyfriend’s nipples, the gas in Furihata’s belly finally made its way out of him.

POOT!

The two boyfriends froze at the short but deafening fart that had sounded in the room. Furihata, absolutely mortified, pushed Akashi away and covered his face in an attempt to hide from the embarrassment.

“I-I-I…S-SORRY!…” Furihata cried. He could feel tears form in his eyes as he silently prayed for the divine deities to just end him now.

Akashi was surprised at first by the interruption but seeing his boyfriend’s tears made him worry. “Kouki…look at me.” Akashi quietly coaxed the other, gently trying to remove his lover’s hands out of his face. When Furihata only shook his head, Akashi decided to use another tactic.

Furihata gasped when he felt a pair of lips touch his hands. He quickly dropped his hands and looked up to see Akashi’s bright red eyes looking gently at him.

“There you are.” Akashi smiled when he finally saw his boyfriend’s face. Furihata’s face was completely tomato red and tears were still streaming down his cheeks. Wiping away his lover’s tears with his comforter, he asked, “Now tell me why you are crying, Kouki?”

Furihata sniffled as he looked away from the other, still feeling horribly humiliated. “I-I…I’m so embarrassed! I c-can’t believe I just…just…” Furihata shook his head, unable to finish his sentence.

“Kouki.” At the stern tone in his boyfriend’s voice, Furihata automatically looked up at Akashi. “There’s nothing for you to be embarrassed about. Passing gas is a completely normal thing to do. There’s nothing to be ashamed about.” Akashi told him as he stroked his cheek, making sure his lover was listening to every word he said.

“But it’s embarrassing!” Furihata groaned. His stuttering finally stopped when he realized that his lover wasn’t disgusted by him and was actually trying to comfort him.

“You’re only human. Everyone does it. Even me.” Akashi pointed out to him.

Furihata couldn’t help it as he let out a snort. “As if.” Furihata mumbled quietly, not aware that Akashi could hear every word he said.

The room was quiet for a moment, neither of them moving or saying anything, before Akashi suddenly grabbed the comforter and removed it from his own body. He shifted his body so he laid on his side, facing Furihata. Furihata looked at Akashi in confusion as he watched the other push out his bottom a bit, a concentrated look on the young heir’s face.

Pffffffffffttttttttt……

Furihata froze, his eyes wide. But before he could say anything, Akashi- whose face took on an alarmingly shade of red, the same as his hair- held his hand up to stop him before giving a loud grunt.

BRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP!….

Akashi’s fart sputtered out with a wet sound before finally ending. Furihata was still not moving, only watching as his lover sighed in relief and gave him a sheepish grin as he lightly fanned his backside with his hand.

Even with a blush that matched his boyfriend’s, Akashi lightly said, “Excuse me.”

Furihata felt his brain short-circuit, not believing what had just happened. His boyfriend, Akashi Seijuurou, heir to the Akashi empire, student council president and captain to the Rakuzan basketball team and to the Generation of Miracles….had farted. Twice.

And it wasn’t just a light poot like Furihata had given off. Akashi had farted long and loud and sounded really grossly wet.

And when Furihata was finally hit by the smell- like rotten eggs with onions and fish but times a thousand- he couldn’t help but cough at the stench.

Looking bashful, Akashi shrugged his shoulders. “I apologize Kouki- I only meant to let out a little but I guess I couldn’t control myself well. But I wanted to show you that even I am human as well. So that means I pass gas at times too. Does it bother you so much that you would break up with me?”

Furihata’s eyes widened as he vehemently shook his head at that. “Of course not! I’d never break up with you just because of a fart!”

Akashi smiled widely as he gave Furihata a peck on top of his nose. “Good. I also would never break up with you just because you broke a little wind.” He assured his lover.

Even though his face heated up a bit at that, Furihata found that he could smile again. “Thanks Sei. I feel better now.” Cuddling up together once again in bed, Furihata hummed. “But wow, I didn’t know you could…uh, be that loud?” Furihata commented awkwardly.

Akashi chuckled, a bit embarrassed, as he nuzzled the other’s hair. “Yes. Since I tend to eat a lot of food with high fiber my…well, my flatulence tends to be like that.” Akashi cleared his throat. “I actually do not usually let myself go like that…well, whilst in the company of others, but I felt that if it was in front of you, it would be alright. I am comfortable showing my imperfect side to you.” Furihata glowed at the loving look that Akashi gave him.

Furihata gave his lover a soft kiss on the lips. “It is okay. And I’m actually relieved to know that you are indeed a normal human just like the rest of us.” Furihata let out a giggle as Akashi teasingly pinched him in the side. “Actually, I’m really bathroom shy so that’s why I couldn’t tell you earlier that I had to go to the bathroom. But I guess my body ended up telling y-you.” Furihata couldn’t help the stutter at the end.

Akashi gave him a small grin. “Oh, your bout of flatulence earlier was so cute, Kouki.” He cooed at his boyfriend.

Furihata squawked as he lightly hit Akashi in the arm. “Sei!” He scolded the other. As Akashi returned his lover’s pout with a cheeky grin of his own, both of their eyes widened as a small gurgle from Furihata’s stomach sounded.

Furihata felt his cheeks once again redden once more. “Uhh…”

Akashi held Furihata’s hand in his own as he gave the other an encouraging squeeze. “People do say that when a couple can fart in front of the other that is when they are truly comfortable with the each other and their relationship become stronger and last longer.” He pointed out.

As his stomach gave another gurgle, Furihata decided to let his insecurities go and took a small breath as he gave his bottom a push.

Bbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrtttttttttttttttttt…….

And even though this fart was definitely worser and smellier than his first (but still not as bad as his boyfriend’s) instead of crying of embarrassment, Furihata found himself giggling together with his loving boyfriend.

[peculiarmindset]

YOI Fart Headcanons

I was bored so I decided to type down some of my headcanons :D First up, is my fart hcs for Yuri on Ice (I thought about this WAY too much, especially for Victuuri :p...)

Katsuki Yuuri/ Yuri: Yuuri's farts are like a *poot* here and there. His farts are like the average persons and it's not really loud or very smelly- just normal. Yuuri does get SUPER embarrassed however when he does let out a fart by accident, but Victor always finds his farts cute and adorable. There are 3 times when Yuuri's farts become different- 1)When Yuuri gets anxious- His anxiety messes up his stomach. One time during a competition, Yuuri had to hide in one of the back rooms because of bad gas. Thankfully, he made it back in time to perform. 2)When Yuuri eats katsudon- For some reason, katsudon ALWAYS makes his farts smell rancid. After eating, he always excuses himself and goes outside or to the toilet to let out his smelly gas or silent but deadly's. 3)When Yuuri's drunk- When drunk, he has NO more shyness and will actually let his farts fly! The smell of his farts are the same but the sound is slightly louder. Unlike when he's sober, drunk!Yuuri doesn't blush after letting out a fart- he just sighs in relief, rubs his belly and just says excuse me if there's anyone around.

Victor/ Viktor Nikiforov: Victor basically farts like a man. His farts are loud and proud and they always smell like death. Yup, Victor has no shame when it comes to his gas- and he can get VERY gassy. But it's only around Yuuri (or Chris) that he will pass gas around. He will hold in his gas around the others (especially around the paparazzi because he is famous and knows that farting in public is frowned upon). Victor always farts around Yuuri because he is a firm believer of the saying, "Only when they can fart in front of each other, will the couple last forever." So basically, farting is Victor's way of showing Yuuri how much he loves him XD. So even if they're cuddling together on the couch while watching a movie, Victor will literally lift up a buttcheek or spread his legs wide open and let out the biggest and wettest fart ever. Afterwards, he would usually giggle at Yuuri- who at this point is used to his fiancé's fart habits so he just wrinkles his nose at him while scolding the other with a bright blush on his cheeks- and Victor would just kiss and hug the other and cheekily says that he loved Yuuri so much that his butt just blew him a kiss. Victor's farts have always been loud and smelly, but when he was no longer on his strict skater's diet, his farts were downright explosive. And when he gets drunk...lets just say that there are times that he's had to pause and check that it was ONLY gas that came out...

Yurio/ Yuri Plisetsky: Yurio farts like a little kid. His farts are similar to Yuuri's- like an average person's but can get pretty loud sometimes. Depending on his mood, if he farted, he will either giggle and laugh about it or play the blame game and point fingers at someone else. He doesn't really blush when he farts because he just sees it as a normal, human thing to do so why get embarrassed? (which is actually very mature of him :) He usually can control his farts though- which came in handy the time he got caught by some of his fangirls. While being pulled in opposite directions, Yurio let out a loud fart. Since the thought of their beloved Yurio farting was an impossible thing for the girls to even fathom, the fangirls started to blame one another and as they started fighting, Yurio used this as a distraction to slip away ;)

Phichit Chulanont: I actually had trouble imagining this one for some reason. I guess, Phichit's farts are pretty innocent. There's not much of a smell to them but there is a sharp sound- like a popping sound or a zipper-like sound. He can control his farts pretty well too as long as he's not laughing. When he laughs very hard, he sometimes can't help but let out a few farts here and there. He's also doesn't really get embarrassed by his farts- he may blush but he mostly just giggles at himself. Phichit also has some videos on his private social media that he unintentionally caught of other people's gassy moments (many involving his favorite couple ;).

Christophe Giacometti: Chris' farts are very smooth and done in an almost sexy manner. No really! The smell of his farts are on the same caliber as Victor's and it usually comes out in a hissing sound that slowly grows louder until it's like a blaring trumpet (He and Victor have gotten into some interesting farting contests before ;) Since Chris has no shame in farting, he won't hesitate to fart while on a date or even during sex. One time, he suddenly paused before getting into bed with his husband. He slowly lifted up one leg on the bed and then he gave his husband a very sultry look as he pushed out a hissing fart that quickly grew louder and louder. When the spluttering fart ended, his husband rolled his eyes fondly at the other while complaining about the smell while Chris chuckled and lightly fanned his behind while excusing himself. If Chris can make ice wet, then he can make farting ALMOST sexy as well XD

Otabek Atlin: Otabek's farts will forever be silent butt deadly. I can think of nothing else but this. He can control his farts but one of them may slip out from time to time. When he does let out a fart, it has no sound whatsoever, but the stench is comparable to toxic waste and rotten food times a million. It's really bad. It's so bad that one time while Otabek was DJ-ing at a club, he suffering from a very bad stomachache. It caused him to fart a lot, but since his farts were silent and the club was loud and crowded, no one knew it was him. But the smell of his farts spread out through the club and it got so bad that at one point people began to complain about the smell and started to leave. In the end, the club owner had to close everything down for the night so he could air out the club.

This is all I have for now. I will probably make a part 2 later. And I'll make different headcanons for this and other animes as well in the future :)