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astrobei · 2 years ago

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for @quinnick: kiss prompt #4 - lips barely touching

The car is out of gas. Will is about ten seconds away from maybe-dying (again). Mike Wheeler has been abnormally quiet today.

At least of late, one of those things is more abnormal than the others.

The car is always out of gas. Will doesn’t know when the last time they’d filled it up was, but he does know that it’s not his problem trying to figure it out. That’s Hopper’s deal. Or his mom’s, maybe. Or Nancy’s, or Jonathan’s, or–

Whatever! The point is that the car is out of gas, Mike and Will are stranded at the currently closed general store, and they’re probably about to die.

Again.

“Mike,” Will tries, for maybe the hundredth time. “It’s not your fault, okay, it could’ve happened to anyone–”

“Yeah,” Mike grumbles miserably, as they round the corner, from aisle four – cleaning supplies and household items – into aisle five – canned goods. Most of the shelves are empty, turned over. Mike picks up a can of pickled green beans, pulls a face, and puts it back on the shelf. “But it didn’t happen to anyone. It happened to me.”

Will takes a long, deep breath in through his nose. God forbid Mike Wheeler ever let anything go. “You didn’t know,” he huffs anyway. “It’s not your fault.” The store is dark, which is great for being able to roll your eyes without Mike seeing. Will’s flashlight sputters, briefly, the bright circle of light flickering in and out of view. He smacks it against his palm once, twice, and it steadies. “Seriously,” Will adds, as Mike slows to a stop in front of him. “Stop beating yourself up. So we have to wait for a ride. Big deal.”

Mike turns around to face him. His expression is mostly unreadable in the dark, but Will’s flashlight catches the edge of it – worried, a little guilty. “Yeah,” Mike says softly. “Except there are things everywhere and waiting for a ride is just– we’re sitting ducks here, okay,” Mike frowns. “I don’t like it. It feels like tempting fate.”

“Well, the simple fact of my existence feels like tempting fate sometimes,” Will jokes. It works, for a split second – Mike’s furrowed brows smooth out into something halfway amused, and he makes a noise that might be a laugh.

“Not funny,” Mike says anyway. His lips twitch.

“You laughed!” Will insists, smiling. His voice carries down through the hallway in a vibrant echo. “I know you did!”

“Shut up,” Mike whispers, looking away. “Would it kill you to keep your voice down?”

It might. Somewhere in the back of Will’s mind, he’s vaguely aware that they’re not safe here, out in the open, and that the whole point of them coming inside instead of waiting in the parking lot was to hunker down until Jonathan and Nancy could get another car here to pick them up. And also, preferably, get some gas.

Somewhere significantly closer in Will’s mind, though, is the knowledge that this is the most Mike has said – and the closest he’s come to laughing – since the car had stalled on the way from the cabin to the general store ten minutes ago, and Mike had just barely had time to pull into the abandoned parking lot before it had stopped altogether. He knows Mike doesn’t like this – being caught off-guard, out in the open. Even minute changes in the plan – which you’d think they’d all be more prepared for, considering the way things have been going lately – get Mike a little keyed up.

And the sorry, borderline pathetic part is this: despite it all, despite the ever-present threat of danger, and the impending sense of doom that’s been hanging over their heads for what seems like forever, Will feels vaguely pleased with himself anyway, seeing Mike hold back a smile instead of forcing one on his face.

So yeah, it might kill him, if he kept his voice down. That’s okay. Will thinks it would be worth it, sometimes – the danger and the doom and everything else – to hear Mike laugh.

God, what’s wrong with him? That’s embarrassing. That’s so embarrassing.

He shakes the thought off. “Whatever,” Will says instead, praying the cover of darkness is hiding the blush that’s rapidly rising to his cheeks. He angles the flashlight away from them anyway, just in case, and Mike’s face falls back into silhouette. “You know I’m right. You’re doomed just by being here with me.”

Mike shakes his head. “You know I don’t think of you like that.”

Will frowns. “Like what?”

“Like– like a bad luck charm,” Mike waves his hands around. “Or whatever.”

“I didn’t say bad luck charm,” Will exclaims. “Ouch! Stop putting words into my mouth.”

Mike grins. “Would you rather have, uh,” he picks up the nearest can to him, something small and vaguely gray, “tinned sardines in your mouth? Tinned sardines in water? Oh, gross. Never mind, actually.”

“I would rather not,” Will decides, even though the shelves are so bare that they might have to suck it up and take home the tinned sardines in water after all. “Would you like some, uh. Tuna?”

“I guess we know why there’s so much fish,” Mike sighs, leaning heavily against an empty shelf. “Nobody wanted it.”

“You mean the ten people outside of our circle of friends that are still left in Hawkins? Yeah,” Will scoffs, then sets the can back down with a soft clink. “I guess not.”

Neither of them say anything for a moment. It’s quiet in the store, the room dark and lit faintly by Will’s flashlight and the display in the corner. It lights Mike up a faint blue, catches the edges of his jaw and where his hair is curling softly over the hood of his jacket.

Will’s flashlight sputters again.

When it comes back on this time, it’s more faint than it was before. It’s dark in here, Will realizes, a bit belatedly. Like, really dark.

He takes a deep breath and shuffles closer to Mike, just a little, like the shape of his body all leaned against the empty shelves is a grounding force. Mike gives him a look that Will can’t quite decipher in the dark.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Will breathes out. The proximity is helping, a little. “Just– waiting for our ride.”

Mike leans in a bit closer too, places an arm under Will’s elbow. It’s a light touch, nothing forceful, but the semblance of support is there. “You sure? You look a little pale.”

Sometimes, Will hates how well Mike knows him. He doesn’t get antsy in the same way Mike does in situations like these, but he’d be lying if he said they didn’t affect him at all. It should be expected by now, the automatic fight or flight.

For some cruel reason, it still isn’t. “You can’t even see me,” he says, but lets himself lean into the touch anyway.

“I can see enough,” Mike says easily. “Do you want to sit down?”

Will shakes his head. The only thing worse than waiting out in the open is sitting out in the open. At least when you’re standing, you can run. “No. I’m fine.”

Will can’t see Mike either, but he’d be willing to bet real money – that he doesn’t have – that he can tell exactly what Mike’s expression looks like. The pause grows, swells and swells and swells, until Will is sure Mike is going to say something–

There’s a clattering outside.

Instantly, Mike’s hand tightens its grip on Will’s elbow. “Did you hear that?”

“Yes,” Will hisses, twisting around to try and see through the windows. “Of course I heard that, Mike.”

“Do you think that’s–”

“No idea,” Will whispers. With no small amount of reluctance, he tugs his arm out of Mike’s grip. He misses the warmth of it almost instantaneously, and the tugging in his stomach is only amplified by the way Mike automatically leans in behind him, places a hand on his back to replace the absent touch, like it was never gone at all. Will swallows, and flicks the flashlight off. “Now be quiet.”

“The windows are boarded up,” Mike says, decidedly not being quiet. Will wonders where the Mike Wheeler of fifteen minutes ago went – the one that was sulking and fidgeting in silence the whole way down the first aid aisle. “They’re boarded up, so nothing can get in. Right?”

“We got in,” Will points out, which Mike seems to realize at approximately the same second he does. It’s getting a little hard to think, with Mike so close to him.

Will really wishes Mike would pull his hand away.

“Right,” Mike whispers, breath ghosting gently over the back of Will’s neck. “Okay. That’s fine. That’s fine.”

Fine, Will thinks. That’s one word for it.

Another clattering. It’s closer this time.

Will freezes.

Jonathan and Nancy are probably about ten minutes out. Twenty if they had to go back to the Wheelers’ for the other car. So they’d probably be fine if they stuck it out here, because the chance of something happening across them now, in the brief period of time where they’re stuck without a ride, in a building equipped with close to nothing that could help, is small.

Small, but not nonexistent.

Will isn’t really feeling inclined to take that chance. “Come on,” he says, then spins on his heel, grabbing Mike’s hand and tugging him in the opposite direction. “Come with me.”

Mike follows easily, stumbling slightly with the sudden movement. “Wh– where are we going?”

“Just come on,” Will says, then tugs Mike around to the back of the store. He yanks open a door, and shoves him inside. “Get in.”

“Whoa,” Mike says, as Will tumbles in behind him. “Will, what–”

“Would it kill you to be quiet?”

“Sorry,” Mike says, then does, at last, fall silent.

Immediately, Will wishes he hadn’t said that. It’s dark in here – even darker than out in the front of the store – and the only noise is the faint hum of a generator, somewhere behind the walls. It’s grating and stilted. Will wonders when the last time it had been repaired was.

Plus, it’s really–

It’s really fucking dark in here.

Will lets out a long, slow exhale, and reaches out to feel for the wall beside him. His palm comes into contact with chipped paint and he follows the shape of it down, lowering himself onto the ground.

“Will?” Mike says, and Will is in half a mind to say that thing about being quiet again, but–

It’s dark. It’s really dark.

“Yeah,” he says, barely audible even to himself over the faint hum of the generator, and the louder hum – demanding, prominent, persistent – of his blood rushing through his ears. “I just– sitting. I’m sitting.”

There had at least been some light out in the front, but this storage closet might as well be a void. It smells vaguely of dust, something stale and unknown and probably untouched for who-knows-how-long. Will takes another deep breath in.

“Where?” Mike asks. “I don’t want to step on you.”

Will cracks a smile. “Here,” he says, and holds a hand up in the air. “Right here.”

There’s a quiet shuffling sound as Mike moves closer, and then Will feels fingertips brushing against his. Mike latches on immediately, gripping tighter onto his hand and sits down in front of him.

Will still can’t see anything – he can’t see anything – but he can feel Mike’s presence like it’s a tangible thing.

Mike could let go of Will’s hand now. Now that he’s found him.

He doesn’t, though.

“Hey,” Mike says, then there’s another faint shuffling noise. “Where are we?”

“Storage closet.”

“Huh. How did you know it was here?”

Will cracks another smile, despite himself. “My mom worked here, remember? For, like, years.”

“Right,” Mike laughs, and then he’s moving closer, knees bumping against knees in the dark. “I forgot. It doesn’t feel like the same place.”

“Tell me about it,” Will sighs. He’s probably breathing in dust and debris and soot and all sorts of gross stuff, but he can’t find it in himself to care. He presses his knees against Mike’s a little harder, just because he can.

“I remember,” Mike starts, readjusting his grip on Will’s hand – fingers interlocked, a firmer grip – “she’d give me free candy from the front counter. Whenever I came in with my parents, I mean. My mom was so confused about why I kept asking to tag along to Melvald’s with her.”

“That’s not fair,” Will laughs. “She never let me have any candy.”

“You were a menace all hopped up on sugar,” Mike points out. “I knew how to behave myself.”

That’s a damn lie, and they both know it. “Liar,” Will says quietly, leaning his head back against the wall. “You’re such a liar.”

“Maybe so,” Mike hums. “But I’m still the one who got free candy, so–”

“Mike!” Will shoves lightly at his knee, and Mike’s answering laugh fills the small space instantaneously. It’s loud – too loud, because they’re supposed to be hiding, goddamnit – but the nagging little voice at the back of Will’s head is vanquished almost as quickly as it came. “Shut up.”

Mike, as always, ignores him. “Why don’t we turn on a light?”

“The fuse is probably blown,” Will responds. “If there’s even a light in this stupid closet.”

“I mean this, idiot,” Mike says, and then clicks the flashlight back on. The batteries must be dying, because it flickers to life weakly, steadying out into a dim yellow-white. “Obviously.”

“Don’t waste the batteries,” Will says at once, trying to grab for it. “Come on, Mike–”

“Jonathan and Nancy will be here any minute and then we can go put in new batteries,” Mike says, holding it easily out of reach. “No point sitting in the dark, right?”

“Mike,” Will tries to protest, but it’s useless. Mike’s made up his mind.

Slowly, and a little far away, Will realizes what Mike is trying to do. He’s not being subtle about it, but subtlety has never been Mike Wheeler’s strong suit. He’s always been exuberant, quick and spontaneous with his actions, and this is no different. Sitting up close, closer than would be strictly necessary in any other situation. Turning the light on, despite the dying batteries. Telling Will about coming here as a kid, all those years ago. Making him laugh. Diffusing the tension.

Jesus, and he’s still holding Will’s hand.

A wave of affection washes over him, sudden and overwhelming enough for Will to feel borderline nauseous.

This isn’t fair. This isn’t fair. Mike can’t just sit here and touch their knees together and hold Will’s hand, and–

“Look,” Mike is saying, and then he’s holding the flashlight under his chin and grinning. “Don’t I look freaky?”

In all honesty, Mike looks fucking hilarious. The direct light casts long shadows across the dips of his cheekbones, the shapes of his eyelashes distorting wildly as he blinks. “No,” Will snorts, rolling his eyes. “You look ridiculous.”

“Really?” Mike grins, in a way that means he knows just how ridiculous he looks. “Not even a little?” He waggles his eyebrows, and the resulting effect is so comical that Will can’t help the laugh that bursts out of him, sharp and sudden and real.

“Mike,” he chides, for the millionth time. “You’re going to kill the battery.”

Mike looks way too pleased with himself. “Worth it,” he says anyway, as he sets the flashlight down. It evens out the sharp angles of his face, now that it’s farther away, lights his cheeks and nose and eyes up into something softer, more open.

Something about the steadiness of Mike’s expression is brighter than any source of light. Suddenly, it’s too much. Suddenly, it’s blinding.

God. He’s so screwed. “For what?”

“Getting you to laugh,” Mike says, simple and easy, like he’s reciting times tables instead of proceeding to turn Will’s entire world upside down on its pathetic little axis.

Will feels his lungs stutter on his next inhale. He looks away. “Don’t do that.”

The gleeful expression falters on Mike’s face. “Don’t do what?”

“Don’t,” Will says, “don’t– you’re being so– so–”

Mike looks caught somewhere between confusion and amusement. “So what?”

“So,” Will tries again, and then Mike moves closer, and the difficulty of articulating a halfway decent sentence immediately increases tenfold. “So.”

“So,” Mike echoes, shifting so the side of his thigh is pressed up against the side of Will’s. He’s being slowly backed into the corner, but the thought isn’t terrifying like it might have been five minutes ago. Suddenly, Will is overwhelmed in a completely new way. “So what?”

“Nice to me,” Will gets out. “Stop being so nice to me.”

Mike pauses, then says, incredulously and half-laughing– “What? Why?”

Bad choice of words. “You heard me,” Will says anyway, because he’s nothing if not stubborn. “You’re being too nice.”

“I should hope so,” Mike says. “I mean, you’re my friend.”

Maybe Will is imagining it, but the sentence feels unfinished. Like there’s a second half to it that Mike is keeping for himself: You’re my friend – right?

The obvious answer here is that yes, Mike is his friend. But that answer feels unfinished too, like a lie by omission. Will tries to imagine it, doing these things with anyone else – what it would be like if Dustin was holding his hand, or if it were Lucas sitting next to him this close.

The conclusion he comes to, almost immediately, is that it would be weird.

It would be really fucking weird.

That feels like– something. An admission, maybe. Because the fact of the matter is that things with Mike have always been like this, and they’ve never been like this with anyone else, and Will doesn’t think they can be like this with anyone else without it being the most unsettling thing that’s ever happened to him.

The silence, he realizes, has gone on just a second too long.

“Yeah,” he blurts out at last. “Yeah. Obviously.”

Something settles over Mike’s face. “Will–”

“Forget I said anything,” Will backpedals, a little bit desperate. “Never mind. Be as nice to me as you want.”

Mike bites down on his lower lip. It looks like he’s holding back a smile. “As nice as I want?”

Oh, no.

“Sure,” Will tries. “Do your worst.”

Mike lets out a shaky exhale. He presses in further, leans in closer until their shoulders are almost touching. “How about this?”

“That’s not nice,” Will says weakly. “That’s just an invasion of personal space.”

“Seems pretty nice to me,” Mike mutters under his breath.

Will inhales sharply. “Mike.”

“What?”

“What are you– doing,” Will whispers, stumbling over his words, just slightly, as Mike places a hand on his arm.

Mike’s gaze does not waver. “Is this okay?”

Is it okay? Will thinks his brain might be halfway to leaking out through his ears. This is–

This is–

“Yeah,” he hears himself say. “Yeah. Great.”

“Okay,” Mike whispers. He’s so close now that Will could count all the freckles spattered across his nose, if he wanted to. He could, and the thought is dizzying, dizzying – suddenly, it’s not the claustrophobia that’s making him feel like this. It can’t be, because Mike is in front of him, and he’s so close that Will could just lean forward and–

He could just–

“Mike.” And maybe he’s a bit of a broken record, but he can’t come up with any words other than his name. He clutches at Mike’s knee and meets his gaze and prays – to whatever deity allowed him to get trapped in a storage closet with Mike Wheeler two inches away from his face – that Mike Wheeler will find the courage in him somewhere to close the fucking gap.

He doesn’t, though, which is a sign that the universe must be majorly fucking with him. Not yet, anyway. Not anywhere near as fast as Will needs it to be – if this is what he thinks it is, it’s nowhere near fast enough.

In actuality, what it is is excruciating – the way Will’s heart is beating so loud that he’s sure Mike can hear it, in the proximity. The slow circles Mike is tracing over his other hand – the hand that he’s still holding. He’s so close that Will can discern the warmth emanating off him, the familiar scent of soap, can feel Mike’s eyes trained steadily on his mouth, and yet–

Either Mike is actually moving at a speed of one nanosecond per minute, or time has slowed to a near-stop around them. Mike’s grip on his hand is agonizing, caustic in all the places where they’re touching, each slow circle of Mike’s thumb against his wrist driving him slowly and steadily out of his mind. Do it, Will thinks, like maybe if he thinks it loud enough, Mike will be able to hear him. Do it, do it, do it.

Mike’s lips touch his.

The world stops moving.

It must, anyway. Or maybe it’s just that Will doesn’t think he’s breathing anymore – he doesn’t know if he can find it in him to remember how. All he’s aware of is this: Mike’s hands on his arm, his wrist. Mike’s leg under his own palm, warm and steady and pressed up against him in a smooth, unyielding line. The pressure of the wall behind him, the strands of Mike’s hair brushing against his face, and Mike’s lips – gentle, gentle, gentle, and nowhere near enough.

It’s like Mike is waiting for something. Waiting for Will, maybe.

God, okay.

Fuck it, Will thinks, from somewhere far off in his own head. Fuck it. Fuck this.

“Will,” Mike whispers, pulling back a precious few millimeters, and that’s it. That’s all Will can take.

Will lifts his hand off Mike’s leg, raises it to his wrist and tugs. Mike topples into him with a small gasp, Will falls backwards into the wall, and then they’re kissing.

God. Okay.

Mike steadies himself quickly, braces a hand on the wall behind them and leans in, firm and enthusiastic. His hand, Will notices, faintly and with no small amount of affection, is shaking. Just slightly. Will’s trapped between them again – Mike and the wall – but this time he can’t find it in himself to care even the slightest bit. As if there’s anywhere he’d want to go that wasn’t here, as if he’d want to be somewhere without Mike’s hand carding through his hair, or without his lips moving softly against Will’s own, or the noise he makes when Will presses forward, too fast, too eager, too betrayed by his own fluttering pulse – something like a laugh, trapped deep in his chest.

Suddenly, it’s not enough. It’s not enough. It’s–

“Mike? Will?”

Shit.

In a flash, Mike pulls away, wide-eyed and pink-cheeked and breathing like he’s just run a marathon.

Shit.

“Yeah,” Mike calls, voice cracking just slightly on the syllable. “We’re in here!”

Shit.

“So,” Will says, aiming for nonchalance. He fails immediately. His voice cracks too. Great. “That–”

Don’t freak out, he thinks. Please don’t freak out.

Mike, to his credit, is not freaking out.

“Yeah,” Mike says, voice a little high-pitched but surprisingly even. He clears his throat. “Um. Yeah. You were–”

“Yeah,” Will finishes, rather lamely. He’s grinning like an idiot. He doesn’t even need to look at himself to tell. His expression is mirrored, perfectly, flawlessly, brilliantly, on Mike’s own face.

The closet door gets thrown open, and there’s a blinding, sudden light– “What the fuck,” Mike exclaims, squinting and throwing a hand up in front of his eyes. “Nancy?”

Jonathan peers around her shoulder. “What were you guys doing in here?”

Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t–

Will can’t help it. He looks at Mike, and they immediately burst into laughter.

Shit.

#hiiii quin so sorry but tumblr ate ur og ask #i did immediately memorize it tho bc i read it and i was like Oh Yes #anyways ik u asked for maybe s5 too #and idk why this is where my mind went #there are a million other s5 scenarios that i could've written #but something about byler kissing in dark closets.... haha #yeah <3 #anyways i hope u like this !!#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #fun sized fics #also fun fact for anyone who reads my fics #this was rly close to my og concept for ive come home im so cold #like the third chapter #but that story got away from me so #this isn't the Same but its similar !! kind of.#ok bye

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themyscirah · 6 months ago

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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.

Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now

Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.

Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!

Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.

#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually #also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things #doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously #supposed to believe shes wrong #anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr #anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope #also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and #any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther #actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other #stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss #anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller #and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less #informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller #and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours #or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah #interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez #and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also #like british colonization a lil bit #but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight #vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves #whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell #i got off topic here #blah #swishy rant #also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should #always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag #sui sq

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finncakes · 1 month ago

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#liam when i get you #😔 no build up no conflict barely any talking.... it's like [redacted] all over again #like wasn't opposed to it but like...i wanted them to actually like. talk?#if he wasn't always on that damn phone #now it's like. ok Cool so we're just going whatever is popular #like #imogen and laudna had build up they have had conflict!#i don't count smth matt mostly participated in as build up? 😭 idk i just like #i wanted better for them #but seeing how it happened had definitely turned it stale for me #:(#sad....i really loved this campaign at the start #not just shipping reasons lol #but all of it #is it so much to ask for the campaign to actually focus on the group they're playing as?#for there to be more downtime for the characters to build relationships with eachother?#idk #i feel like everytime i read the updates on the new episodes i get more disappointed #and sucks cause this campaign truly had some of my favorite pcs #and this is mostly me whining and i get it it's their game but they're also turning a profit on it so lol i think i can say i'm disappointe #i think hearing abt this episode really solidified not wanting to catch up #like ok cool so we're just. mcu-ing this now.#and other things #yeah just sad #c hetney pock o'pea ur perfect though. the only bitch who hasn't let me down ever.#edit: everytime i get a note on this i am welcoming another little hater

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welcometoteyvat · 4 months ago

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Hello! Do you have any recommendations on Zhongli/Xiao, or Chongyun and Xiao (either romantic or general) fics?

rubs hands together indeed i do. also highly recommend checking out the authors bc a lot of them have other incredible fic for the characters you're looking for!!

zhongxiao

Give me your heart (and I'll show you how to feel) by peredain (M, ongoing, 40k, some dom/sub themes, modern au) i will love modern aus until the end of time and this one has good plot, descriptions, and the feels. also i love that the yaksha group dynamics are fleshed out in this! they're so rare to find

fault lines by viverella (T, 23k, oneshot). scream. the tenderness and tension in this is so gentle. i fell to my knees bc these two old men. zhongli's voice is so nicely written :')

to carve nature at its joints (author commentary) and for services rendered by yelp (oneshots, 1k and 2k) the first is based on xiao's dream eating ability, and the second is about morax's inevitable erosion. the author has such an ability with words and their descriptions of xiao's loyalty, and zhongli's trust. i cherish greatly

bird in a cage by stormyseasons (gen, 33k, complete) i need to finish this but ohhhhhh it is insane,, the tenderness..... it traces xiao and zhongli's past through the archon war. also yaksha dynamics in this are so good

xiaoyun

i linked 4 in this post (please read these they're incredible) but heres more

lonely reflections (complete, 41k, M) and the sequel paper cranes (ongoing, 14k, E) by NocturnalFriend. chongyun's demon hunting expedition in the chasm takes a wrong turn. ive been meaning to read both but have heard v good things

intact by blurredbarcode; oneshot, gen, short and sweet!

reduced to just standing around, how absurd by justafellow04 this one's cute! it's an elaboration of a lantern rite lore bit that says chongyun's yang doesn't actually help xiao and its sweet :-)

also while im here: self promo of my xiaoyun writing exercises lol (v short drabbles of these two in different scenarios)

xiao and chongyun

"I won't let you become me, you'll be so much more" (170k words, ongoing) by snubton, which I think a lotttttt of people are fond of; I haven't read it myself (..writing style turnoff) but I've heard a bunch of good things. chongyun and xiao mentor mentee journey basically

after winter comes spring. 1/5 chapters, unfinished, featuring chongyun's yang energy and a flashback. it's sweet <3

#dkniade #asks #there's also a fic series that's zhongxiaoyun smut (by omiboshii on ao3; title's too long to write in the tags) but idk if ure looking #for that so it's not listed here lol. a fun read though #a lot of the authors are here on tumblr too but idk whether to tag them . lol. anyways if yall see this i love you all. thank you forever #thanks for the ask <33333333 i hope you're well!#zhongli #xiao #chongyun #zhongxiao #xiaoyun #fic rec #genshin impact #teyvat thoughts #i should write more xiao/yun........... the ao3 tag's dead and its getting to that time where i start missing them again..#my little guys. i firmly believe talking to each other would fix smth in both of them

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oceanwithouthermoon · 5 months ago

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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw

#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together #(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai #idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad #i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that #why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it #its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one #usually on tiktok or tumblr #if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you #theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen #it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs #and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE #AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF #the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me #and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess #okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway #meows post

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ahalliance · 1 month ago

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how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another

#the conversation takes place in antoine’s vod: L’ANNIVERSAIRE DE TALLULAH at 41 mins ish #like . okay . its such a fucking crazy moment to me that still lives in my head bc it’s a a joke . but it’s also not #he asks etoiles directly after spiderbit wedding . ‘don’t you want to get married?’#after it gets mentioned*#etoiles turns him down bc he ‘doesn’t have time to fuck [he] needs to kill everyone’#and antoine says ‘well but— just a marriage’ like it’s the act itself that is the most important to him not anything that could come with it #the confirmation of partnership . of having someone to rely on . something that feels to him maybe more certain and solid than the #friendships antoine had at that point . like if he felt things were slipping and he was being left behind he wanted the certainty of #something like a marriage that is traditionally considered More important and certain .#and i think the end of their conversation is notable in how antoine brings up the notion of betrayal — he getting betrayed by others and how #he’s fed up with it . after etoiles says no to the marriage (though specifying that he’s gonna think about it) antoine brings the whole #betrayal thing up after a pause . he doesn’t necessarily consider etoiles as having betrayed him but it’s that lack of certainty #certainty that etoiles has refused to give him that makes him start to open up about how he’s tired of people promising him things (or #seeming to promise him things) only to leave him out and in the dark . and there’s an insecurity there that really shines if you take this #moment into consideration with the Larger Shifting his character is going through .#like tldr ; qantoine has begun to realise that his friends are starting to form deeper bonds with other people and thus keep secrets with #them which to him means leaving him behind . taking notice of this he brings this up to his friends in . not exactly direct ways . he #talks about how he doesn’t like secret keeping but doesn’t seem to push much further and he also tries to remedy the issue #of feeling left behind by doing shit as discussed above ^ however on account of the InHuman i’m not sure he understands what he’s doing very #well . and as we know antoine doesn’t make much progress and ends up retreating into himself and beginning to keep his own secrets . to do #his own shady shit . to work in the shadows and not be honest with any of his friends either . to hold them at arm’s length despite how much #he still cares . the only person he puts his full trust into anymore is pomme . not ayp who he deems too underhanded . not bagz who he sees #as having started the whole ‘secret keeping’ stuff in the first place . and not etoiles who’s actively going down a path with the codes and #resistance that he cannot follow #that was NOT a short tldr . why the fuck am i writing dissertation length tags about MINECRAFT BLOCKS #god whatever who cares i get joy out of this thats what matters #anw if you read this far holy shit ur insane . thank you #i am going to bed now godbless !#jay rambles #qfrench.posting

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pickled-flowers · 8 months ago

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Saw some of the grossest parenting today in the bus

#this dad was on his phone the whole bus ride ok #and his two kids were screaming arguing #at most he would periodically tell them to lower their voice while still on his phone #one time he told them to stop the one sitting next to him hit him 😭 and he went back to look at his phone with no reaction #my guy something is seriously wrong with you #your kids are screaming at each other doesn't even matter all that much that we are in the bus rn #theyre not just being loud kids you need to do smt!!!!!! its too early for this!!! i could hear them even with my noise cancelling headphone #anyways #ive never seen smt like this #and i work in a mall i see lots of parents and kids #idk smt really disgusting about a parent just not even interested in engaging with their kids #dude no wonder they're loud they probably want ur attention #also this one lady once who came in wjth a big stroller #and the store where i work has little moving rooms between the aisle so this woman decided TO LEAVE THE STROLLER WITH A KID INSIDE AT THE #FRONT OF THE STORE #the kids started crying and his hrother (toddler not in the stroller but not following the mom for some reason) started exploring and i #i had to watch them until the mom came back but like the woman just left them there???#i just stepped in but what if i hadnt??? lady?????????#i see lots of cute interactions of course #like this little girl who came with who i think is her grandpa and he asked me to help her chose her next manga read 😭💖#i basically work in a book/toy store #theres a lot of candy as well the kids love it #idk i like seeing kids being happy ok it is healing #like all the kids sitting on the floors deep in their books while the parents shop 😭😭😭 makes me smile every time top tier behavior

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faaun · 8 months ago

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pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

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filmnoirsbian · 2 years ago

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Hi !! I was wondering if you had any book recs/favorite books? Things that you think of as inspiration or just plain like? Genuinely curious. <3 im in love with your work btw i spent the other day binging your patreon

Some favorites that deeply impacted me from a young age up into teenagedom: the Animorphs series by K. A. Applegate, Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein, Oddly Enough by Bruce Coville, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Little Sister by Kara Dalkey, The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. Wrede, The Tale of Desperaux by Kate DiCamillo, A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket, The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander, Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury, the Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage, Piratica by Tanith Lee, the Inkheart series by Cornelia Funke, His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman, Holes by Louis Sachar, The View from Saturday by E. L. Konigsburg, Shizuko's Daughter by Kyoko Mori, The Sea-Wolf by Jack London, Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech, Criss Cross by Lynne Rae Perkins, Everything on a Waffle by Polly Horvath, Surviving the Applewhites by Stephanie S. Tolan, The Last Book in the Universe by Rodman Philbrick, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg, The Iliad and Odyssey (allegedly) by Homer, The Táin by many people, Harlem by Walter Dean Myers, Esperanza Rising by Pam Muñoz Ryan, The Wall and the Wing by Laura Ruby, The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkein, The Hainish Cycle by Ursula K. Le Guin, Till We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis, The Ethical Vampire series by Susan Hubbard, The Howl Series by Diana Wynne Jones, the Curseworkers series by Holly Black, The Turn of the Screw by Henry James, Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K. Dick, Android Karenina by Ben H. Winters, An Autobiography of Red by Anne Carson, Beloved by Toni Morrison, A Stir of Bones by Nina Kiriki Hoffman, the Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson, Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente, World War Z by Max Brooks, This is Not A Drill by K. A. Holt, Fade to Blue by Sean Beaudoin, Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu, The Moth Diaries by Rachel Klein, Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman, Crush by Richard Siken, Hopscotch by Julio Cortázar, The Hunchback of Notre-Dame by Victor Hugo, Devotions by Mary Oliver, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Some favorites read more recently: The Expanse series by James S. A. Corey, Engine Summer by John Crowley, Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff, The Princess Bride by William Goldman, Heart Berries by Terese Marie Mailhot, My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix, Reprieve by James Han Mattson, House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski, Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn, Kindred by Octavia Butler, Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi, Station Eleven by Emily St. John-Mandel, The Crown Ain't Worth Much by Hanif Abdurraqib, The Refrigerator Monologues by Catherynne M. Valente, Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata, Tender is the Flesh by Augustina Bazterrica, The Girl with All the Gifts by Mike Carey, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson, The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison, She had some horses by Joy Harjo, Bright Dead Things by Ada Limón, The King Must Die by Mary Renault, Books of Blood by Clive Barker, Rosemary's Baby by Ira Levin, Cassandra by Christa Wolfe

Plays: The Oresteia by Aeschylus, Electra by Sophocles, Los Reyes by Julio Cortázar, Angels in America by Tony Kushner, August: Osage County by Tracy Letts, The Bald Soprano by Eugène Ionesco, The Trojan Women by Euripides, Salome by Oscar Wilde, Girl on an Altar by Marina Carr, Fences by August Wilson, The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams, M. Butterfly by David Henry Hwang, Our Town by Thornton Wilder, Sweeney Todd by Christopher Bond

Graphic novels: The Crow by James O'Barr, DMZ by Brian Wood and Riccardo Burchielli, Eternals (2021) by Kieron Gillen and Esad Ribić, Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons and John Higgins, My Favorite Thing is Monsters by Emil Ferris, Maus by Art Spiegelman, Tank Girl by Alan Martin and Jamie Hewlett, Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi, Through the Woods by Emily Carroll, Anya's Ghost by Vera Brosgol

#watchmen is difficult to recommend on account of the misogyny but beyond that it really did change my life lol #asks #an open window #book recs #also i know technically eternals isn't a graphic novel it's a comic run directly related to the avengers and such at large BUT #it is sooo so good and u don't really have to know much abt what the avengers losers are up to in order to understand it #i didn't include any other favorite comic runs bc they require other things to be read for context. ur welcome.

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moonshine-nightlight · 7 months ago

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Hi, hi! I've been reading some of your work and when I saw you had a tumblr I just had to come pay your inbox a visit.

I just wanna say, I really love how you write! It's so, so easy to get immersed in your stories, to the point where something kind of funny happened in my case actually XD

So there I was at midnight, browsing the monster romance side of AO3 when I came across Finally Woken. I was looking something on the shorter word count side, but the summary had me very interested. So I go, hmmm I think I'll just read the first chapter to see how it is and if I like it I'll come back to it tomorrow. I definitely liked it, but wanted just a bit more, so I clicked on the second chapter. Then the third. And fourth. And so on until oops, I binged it and it was 4 am hdjsgaca

And then the next day, I was once again browsing. And came across Don't shoot the messenger. And I go, well last night was a success but tonight I definitely only read the first chapter and then if I like it finish tomorrow. Aaaah the lies we tell ourselves. Did not even notice it was the same author until I was halfway through it. This one I managed to finish before 4 am at least XD

And then! The next day! Once again browsing in bed! I come across Sacrifice! Once again didn't look at the author until later! Take a guess at what happened next, surely you will never expect the outcome! (The outcome was exactly the same. I could not stop reading. My self restraint is in shambles.)

So yeah! I just wanted to one, come and thank you for such wonderful stories, and two, compliment the heck out of your writing skills because your pacing, and atmosphere and descriptions are top notch. Like the sense of anticipation before Satrasi knew what that captain had done was chef kiss, or the sense of dread building up to the ritual and then calm once Tai finds the reader. Or the sense of domesticity as time passes with Heshi.

All reader characters and monsters feel unique as well! My personal favorite story so far is Don't shoot the messenger, Satrasi has me swooning fdhdgzh But honestly I loved all of them so much and they're going to my favorite monster romances stash. Oh also, I'm 100% going to go back and reread, kudos and comment more thoroughly on each story, but I was on another account like a fool the first time I read them all gahdgdh So hopefully you'll see me in AO3 soon as well!

Alright I've been rambling enough already haha, so yeah! Tldr, You're a great author, I am weak and procrastinated going to bed because I wanted to read your stuff, love what you do, take care! :D

@roaring-letters

thank you so much! this was such a good message to get and i've been hoarding it for lik 2 months lol because work has been so busy which is why it was even better to get such a nice ask - it really cheered me up!

i'd say i;m sorry for the accidental repeated trapping and keeping you up until 4 am but its kinda the greatest compliment ever lol so i guess i'm not sorry

i'm so happy you enjoyed the stories and the characters and the atmosphere of the stories! my writing means so much to me and i'm always worried that i'm not getting whats in my head down onto paper right so comments/asks like these are so so heartwarming because it makes me feel lik i am in fact getting it right :D

thanks again!!!!

#asks #finally woken #don't shoot the messenger #sacrifice #this is also my time to plug to novel version of DSM #if you want a physical copy and bonus scenes #gestures at my masterlist link lol #also the lovely lovely fan art of him because they always have me swooning #i've defintiely stayed up late reading really good stories so i lov that other ppl think my work is worthy of that #also i did see ur ao3 comments #responding to that soon because u made me be lik #name seems familiar #and then i realized u were also the person who sent in this wonderful ask!#thank you!#comments lik this keep me writing :)

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mitcheechee · 4 months ago

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Hey, new follower here! (I'm actually in the wrong account so please don't mind me being anonymous!) I really love your art and I mainly wanted to say that your art and style is amazing and beautiful! Secondarily, do you have any tutorials or tips on drawing bodies, hands and I noticed you do blood? I understand if you'd rather not answer that; if so just only the first half! Love your art! Thanks for existing (if that makes sense)❤️

wah... first i just wanna say tysm!!! youre so sweet 😭

i unfortunately dont have any tutorials or anything made already and i dont really want to make any as of right now because i feel like i have a long way to go in terms of learning how to properly draw a lot of things. since i don't know what im doing id feel really lousy putting out a tutorial when i dont even have a lot of the basics down yet...

im gonna blab under the cut about tips (not really tips on drawing bodies themselves as a guideline, but what has helped me practice and thus allowed me to get better at drawing bodies in my own art), so u dont have to read all that if it doesnt interest u! but regardless thank u again for being so sweet!!! sorry i couldnt give u what u wanted.. maybe one day... 😭

again this is just how i practice, but its GENUINELY helped me get so much better.

all i can say as far as tips is to definitely practice with references as much as u can, it really will help u improve. i know people often dont like that advice too much but its really true... every time i use references to practice for a bit i can tell it helps me, and looking back at older art i know its true. i dont often use guidelines (i really need to...), or at least not in the sense that i do in most of the guides i see so i feel like i cant give much else in terms of advice tho, other than that.

anyway, its one thing to just use a reference, but really trying to get it down and learn it (learn the body, anatomy, how to draw it all) so u carry that knowledge on is sorta different, for me

what has helped me to really learn is this method of practice where i

draw a reference photo based off what i see

trace the photo

overlay both my trace and the first drawing i made

go back and choose key points on the photo/trace where i was very off and mark them as a little dot/line and then try to fix the original sketch with those dots/lines to match the photo (look below to understand what i mean LOL sorry)

try and draw it again from scratch based on what i see visually

and for number 4, what i mean is this:

lets say the 2nd is my visual (rough) drawing based off of the original

overlaying my original sketch on the reference i can see where a lot of points are off!

ill make note of a few of the areas that were very off and mark them, then get rid of the reference underneath. ill still look at it as a guide on the side, but overall try to just change the original sketch to match it instead of directly tracing!

i feel like this may not have been exactly what u mean as far as tips for drawing bodies, but ive found that in order to grasp them better in a way that helps u draw them on ur own, doing studies like this really helps! for me, at least, it allows me to better store things in my memory--because looking at the image and practicing doesnt feel like it really CEMENTS any knowledge, but seeing where i went wrong and then working backwards to try and alter it shows me where im lacking in skill, and helps me use that information later!

doing this allows me to understand how bodies take up space. it has helped me to see the body as more of a tangible thing while i draw freehand, and do it more accurately as well, instead of it feeling like its. a limp noodle i cant grasp LOL

i will say, tho, that for hands especially i almost always use my hands as a reference for what i want. like i dont even have a guide for that in terms of what i do to draw them out or guidelines i follow, i just straight up draw them based off what i see or imagine, i dont really do those step by step guidelines...

im sorry again i couldnt rly give u what u wanted, i just dont think im at that level where i can truly give any advice since im not good enough (yet ! we hope) for a genuine tutorial. if u mean something as far as like... body shapes and stuff im still not rly there yet either. i hope this helps even a tiny bit tho, if u read this far!!!

#thank u anon.. sorry again #even for blood i literally have to redraw it 50 times and hope for the best so i cant even rly give adequate advice there #thank u tho ur so sweet....#asks #AND DONT worry abt being anonymous i dont mind !!!#sorry about all the blabbering thats why i put it under the cut #also bc i dont think its what u asked for so. u absolutely dont need to read that #genuinely doing that tho #and even using that same method of practice but applying it to say. anime screenshots. has helped me a lot #it shows u how other artists think and conceptualize things which u can use to open ur own mind and how to approach things in ur art #references are the key to everything...............

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