#also! I do not judge other people for not doing this or expect them to do it
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Would love to hear more about the Miss Congeniality Au!
ahhh miss congeniality au, my beloved!!!! 💖💗💞💕🩷❤️ truly, truly, truly i feel like this au could be so much FUN if i could find the discipline and motivation to just sit down and write it lmao. but i will say i v much enjoyed fitting all the pieces together for this snippet so here's hoping it awakens something in me askdjhf
i hope you like it 🥰
~
Eddie never imagined becoming a special agent. Then again, he never imagined becoming a single dad either.
But FBI work actually keeps him chained to a desk a hell of a lot more than regular police work used to and the pay’s better.
He’s regretting that decision right about now.
“Eddie, it has to be you.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose, quickening his step even as Chimney continues to keep pace with him.
“It absolutely doesn’t, Chim.”
“The whole office agrees-“
Eddie stops short, whirling around. “Just because the little simulation version of me you drew up on the computer had an eight-pack-“
“My computer does not lie, Diaz-“
“I don’t have time,” Eddie cuts in. “I can’t be away from Chris that long.”
“It’s one week. Less, if you do your job right.”
Eddie makes a face.
It’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. A charity firefighter competition that he really thinks sounds a hell of a lot like a beauty pageant. Sure, there’s obstacle courses and stuff to complete but he’s not sure what a speedo competition has to do with being a competent firefighter. The cause is noble, he guesses, but there has to be a better way to raise money than deciding who’s the most specialist firefighter in all of Los Angeles.
Especially when the host – Captain Bobby Nash – is the target of a bomb threat.
It wouldn’t even have landed on their desk if not for the fact that three people with ties to Bobby Nash and the LAFD had received bombs in the mail over the last two weeks.
Athena thinks their best chance to take down the mail bomber is to have someone on the inside, to infiltrate the competition and investigate the contestants while also being the FBI’s eyes and ears throughout the week.
Hen and Chim, of course, volunteered Eddie for the job.
“I don’t like undercover work.” It’s an oversimplified version of the truth – that Eddie hates having to perform for an extended period of time and that this competition sounds like his own personal version of hell. Also, as much as he knows he’s in good shape, he doesn’t actually want people ogling his body for a week straight.
Chim gives him an incredibly unsympathetic clap on the shoulder. “Just use those big, brown eyes of yours and wow the judges with your salsa skills and no one will be any the wiser.”
Eddie opens his mouth to argue back when another voice cuts through their conversation.
“She said yes!”
He and Chimney both look up to find Hen running towards them, a beaming grin on her face. “Athena said yes! Better start practicing your poses, Firefighter Diaz.”
Well, shit.
-
Captain Bobby Nash has got a made-for-TV smile that has Eddie understanding why he got the hosting gig over every other fire captain in LA.
“Special Agent Grant,” he says, shaking Athena’s hand with a warmth to his expression that Eddie doesn’t expect.
Athena clearly doesn’t expect it either because she clears her throat as she pulls her hand back. “Captain Nash. This is Agent Diaz.”
Nash redirects his attention to Eddie, extending his hand once again. “Great to meet you. And please, call me Bobby.”
“You too,” Eddie says, flashing a polite smile and following Athena’s lead to take a seat in front of Bobby’s desk.
“So I take it there’s been some progress in the case?” Bobby asks, settling into his chair.
Athena purses her lips, exchanging a look with Eddie. “Not as much as we’d like. Given that we still don’t have a trace on the letter the bomber sent and the LAFD’s reluctance to cancel the competition, we’ve decided to send one of our agents in undercover.”
Bobby’s eyes immediately flick to Eddie and Eddie feels the ridiculous urge to straighten his posture. “I’m guessing that’s where you come in, Agent Diaz?”
“Not that we want to undermine the integrity of the competition but it will be imperative that Eddie makes it to the final,” Athena says. “It’s the best chance we have of catching the bomber if we can’t determine a suspect before then.”
Bobby leans back in his chair, regarding them both with an unreadable expression. Finally, he cracks a smile. “Well, he certainly looks the part.”
“He gets that a lot,” Athena snorts and Eddie ducks his head to hide the heat in his cheeks. It’s bad enough when it’s Hen and Chim ribbing him; he didn’t actually think Athena ever overheard them.
“Which firehouse is he representing though?” Bobby asks. “All of the contestants have already been chosen.”
Without missing a beat, Athena hands over a file that Eddie knows contains the fake details of his new identity. “Apparently the 133’s entry came down with an awful bout of food poisoning.”
Bobby accepts the manila folder with a faint smirk. “Well, that’s a shame.”
-
“Diaz. Diaz, do you read me? Over.”
Eddie rolls his eyes as he steps onto the bus ready to ship the contestants to the opening luncheon. “Yes, Chim,” he mutters under his breath. “I can hear you; stop yelling.”
“Remember to smile, Eddie.” That’s Hen.
How Athena thought they were the two best suited to oversee this, he’ll never understand.
He scans the length of the bus, looking for an empty seat. The whole place is overrun with burly men in too tight t-shirts talking animatedly to each other. It takes him a second to realise one of the men in question is waving at him.
He’s got curly hair and a golden retriever-esque eagerness to his smile. “Edmundo?” he asks. “From the 133, right?”
Eddie clears his throat and rearranges his face into a smile as he makes his way to the empty seat. Though calling it an empty seat feels generous when the firefighter all but shoves himself against the window to make room.
“How’d you know who I was?” he asks, genuinely curious. They only finalised the details of Eddie’s position in the competition yesterday and they made sure to leave any of his information off the official competition website.
“Oh I did a little deep dive on the other contestants but you were the only one who didn’t have a picture so I figured it had to be you.” He shrugs with an affable charm before offering Eddie a hand. “I’m Evan Buckley, with the 118. Everyone calls me Buck though.”
“He’s cute,” Hen says in his ear.
“Like a puppy,” Chim adds.
Eddie ignores them and shakes his hand. “Uh, you can call me Eddie,” he greets. Changing his last name was necessary; he refuses to go by Edmundo for the next week. It’s only then that he clocks the station number Buck said. “You’re part of Nash’s team.”
“Yeah,” Buck says, beaming with pride. “Bobby’s the best captain ever. You know some of these guys have it out for me because they think he’s gonna play favourites even though he’s not a judge. He’s just the host. But whatever, it’s not a big deal.”
The dejected look that creeps onto Buck’s face suggests it very much is a big deal even if he won’t admit it. Eddie feels a pang of sympathy. The guy seems harmless, even with all the rippling muscles. Then again, he’s not surprised a competition this testosterone-fuelled has people acting territorial.
“They just want an excuse for when you beat them in the first round,” Eddie says, mostly to fill the silence but also to get this Buck guy to stop looking so downtrodden.
He definitely doesn’t expect the way Buck’s whole face lights up in awe.
“You think I’ve got a shot at making it to the finals?”
The earnest hopefulness in Buck’s voice catches Eddie off guard and Hen and Chimney in his ear don’t help.
“Aww Eddie’s making friends!”
“Forget friends! Eddie, he’s cute; keep flirting with him.”
Eddie bites down on the urge to tell them to fuck off and makes himself smile at Buck instead. “’Course you do. Some of these guys are lucky they even made it this far.”
Truthfully, Eddie hasn’t even taken the time to look at anyone else on the bus all that much yet but the words tumble out of his mouth without permission. And in the face of Buck’s delighted grin, he can’t find it in himself to take them back.
“Thanks, man,” Buck says bashfully. “Hey, you have anyone to share a room with at the hotel yet?”
“Please tell me there’s only gonna be one bed,” Hen squawks gleefully in his ear.
“Uh I don’t know. Are they assigned or-?”
“They figured since most of us know each other we could pair up however we want but- um…” Buck trails off, making it clear no one has offered to share with him and well, it seems like he knows a lot about the other contestants. That could be good for Eddie. To get information and close the case. Obviously.
“Yeah, man. We can share.”
“Awesome!” Buck declares, slumping more comfortably in his seat and bumping his shoulder –probably accidentally – against Eddie’s. The bus gets moving then and Eddie takes the opportunity to scope out some of the other contestants.
It’s unlikely their suspect is another firefighter but not impossible.
“So how come I’ve never seen you at a scene before?”
Eddie blinks, redirecting his attention to Buck who’s looking at him curiously.
“Oh uh, I just transferred in the last couple of months.”
“From where?” Buck’s expression doesn’t look suspicious and Eddie has to remind himself not every conversation with a stranger needs to be an interrogation.
“Um, El Paso,” he says, immediately cringing on the inside. This man does not need to know any of his real life personal details.
But Buck only smiles again. “Cool. I’ll have to look out for you on calls from now on.”
And it’s not said flirtatiously or anything like that but Buck looks bashful again and Chimney is cackling his ear about how, “Eddie’s got a fan,” and Eddie’s stomach does a strange, traitorous flip.
But this is fine.
Everything is fine.
It’s just-
It’s going to be a long week.
-
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How to stop being a doormat.-
-> . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ [By a healed people pleaser] ࿐ྂ
Being nice to others is not a bad trait, but becoming THE NICE GIRL is.
Excessive people pleasing brings you nowhere and makes you vulnerable to becoming a doormat, disrespect, and sacrificing yourself.
People pleasing isn’t just about being nice to everyone all the time; it actually messes with your head and how you think about yourself deep down.
We can look at people pleasing from an conscious and subconscious side.
Conscious People pleasing
This is what we typically associate with people pleasing:
You can't say no: Every request feels like an obligation.
You prioritize others over yourself: Your needs take a backseat.
You apologize for everything: Even when it’s unnecessary.
You avoid conflicts: Peace at any cost, right?
You make yourself small: Shrinking your presence to fit in.
Subconscious people pleasing
This is the impact people pleasing has on your mindset and behaviours
While breaking people pleasing one should focus here more
Servant mindset -> catering to others drains your energy.
Emulating others -> You lose sight of who you truly are.
Seeking validation: "I need to be ... to get validation 'love' from others
Ignoring your feelings: Suppressing your emotions to keep the peace.
Feeling judged: Worrying about what others think of you.
Anxiousness about acceptance: "Do they really like me?"
The Why of People pleasing
The first step in breaking free is understanding why you engage in people pleasing.
Here are some common reasons:
You might be people pleasing because of...
Anxiety: fear of disappointing others or rejection
Low self esteem: "pleasing others is the only way to get acceptance and love"
Past trauma: can link others' needs to safety and affection
Cultural or family expectations: Pressure from those around you.
Perfectionism: The need to be flawless in the eyes of others.
Insecurity: Doubting your own worthiness.
Avoidance of Conflict: Preferring peace over confrontation.
To get the exact cause you should also utilise journaling.
Use 15 min. for three or more of these journaling prompts each
Does People pleasing really help me? How do I feel when I please people? Happy or drained?
Do I get something back by pleasing people. Is it one sided?
What is my earliest memory of people pleasing? Why did I decide to please people at that time?
How do I perceive the people that I please in reality? Do I even like them.
What is the thing I really want in this situation that I might feel too scared, vulnerable, or ashamed to ask for?
What is one thing that I'm scared people will think of me, and how is this actually true and useful for me?
What do I want to change about my people pleasing habit
This reflection makes it clear why we do it and what caused people pleasing to be ingrained in us in the first place.
Recovering from People pleasing
Start small.-
Begin by setting boundaries in low stakes situations
declining invitations to events etc.
declining requests that you don't have time or desire to do
Gradually work yourself up to more significant situations practicing assertiveness along the way.
Learn to tolerate discomfort
Recognise that asserting yourself and setting boundaries may initially feel uncomfortable or cause anxiety
Embrace the discomfort as a sign of growth and remind yourself that it's necessary to prioritize your own well being.
Strengthen your sense of self
When we are people pleasing we are placing our self worth on another person
With journaling, self care, setting personal goals and new hobbies, you can construct and identity independent of others opinions.
The Intention Interrogation
Ask yourself a specific question before agreeing to a request:
"Am I doing this because I genuinely want to, or because I'm afraid of potential consequences?"
This can delay automatic people pleasing reflexes
Cut toxic people off
If someone is using you for their gain, it’s time to create distance.
Limit your availability and emotional investment
Create space between yourself and toxic relationships
And Trust your instincts
The 24-Hour Rule
Make it a commitment to not immediately respond to requests.
Give yourself a full day and then decide if you actually want to do this.
Get therapy
If people pleasing has a deep impact socially or otherwise on you consider therapy
It's really helpful against people pleasing if nothing else helps
That's it lovelies
People pleasing is a destructive social mechanism of ours that we developed in young years.
Unfolding these behaviours and taking a stance against pleasing others frees ourself for positive change and levelling ourselves up
#People pleasing is giving you the opposite of the goal that you actually want#You are just destroying your self image#And but it for other people to judge#It only makes you unhappy#ya#I'm so happy that Im out of people pleasing#This era is finished for good#mainfesting the recovering of all people pleasers#girlblogging#wonyoungism#girl blogger#becoming her#becoming that girl#pink academia#dream girl#self improvement#pink pilates princess#it girl#people pleaser#self love#self help#self care#personal#personal growth#mental health#glow up#glow up era#loa
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scribbles - m.r x reader
summary - dash&lily!au, mattheo and reader communicate through a book, and perhaps its comforting to rant to someone without knowing them?
word count - above 2k
a/n - okay omg, this is literally my first fic ever so don't judge? and I really wanted something like an anonymous romance because I think it fits mattheo. enjoyy
The Hogwarts library was insanely huge—everyone knew that. Its sections seemed to stretch endlessly, shelf after shelf, book after book. And it wasn’t just academic texts; there were novels too, tucked away in those maze-like aisles.
So here he was, Mattheo Riddle, probably the last person you’d expect in front of the literature shelves, fumbling through titles in a half-hearted attempt to find A Farewell to Arms for his Muggle Studies class.
Professor Charity Burbage wouldn’t shut up about the so-called "sappy Muggle romance." For the sake of his grades, he had to find it. After scanning what felt like every spine in the row, he finally spotted it.
“Finally!”
He grabbed the book without hesitation. Staying in the library wasn’t on his agenda—it never was. The place didn’t exactly hold the sweetest memories for him. The silence, so absolute, seemed to lure the worst thoughts to the surface. It was the perfect breeding ground for overthinking, and Mattheo had no patience for that. He much preferred the controlled chaos of the dorms or the common room. Maybe he’d been alone too long. People could be annoying, sure, but they kept the silence—and his thoughts—at bay.
Just as he was about to leave, something caught his eye: a bright red book on the same shelf. It wasn’t a novel, not with that unmarked spine and leather cover. Curiosity got the better of him, and he pulled it out. The journal smelled faintly of Chanel—a stark contrast to the old-book musk around it. Stickers covered the spine, obscuring what might’ve been the owner’s initials. Lana Del Rey. The Smiths. A tiny “A” tucked in the corner.
He opened it.
The first page was written in delicate cursive, the kind that practically screamed “perfected over years of writing essays on parchment.”
“Do you dare?”
His first instinct was to chuck the thing out the nearest window and let it flop onto the frozen lake below. This felt eerily close to one of his father’s tricks. But then again, when had Voldemort ever cared for indie aesthetics or Muggle music?
Curiosity won. He flipped the page.
“Ah, so you do dare. And no, I’m not trying to lure you into the Chamber to kill you. I just figured if you’re in this aisle, maybe we have something in common.”
“I’ve left some clues for you. If you want them, turn the page. If you don’t, put the book back on the shelf, please—this is kind of my one shot at finding a literary soulmate.”
The handwriting, undeniably feminine, had that neat, practiced vibe. Someone who probably spent way too much time perfecting it in their first year. Definitely not him.
“ALSO, if you’re not a teenage boy, I’d suggest putting it back. And if you’re Madam Pince, I’m definitely a Gryffindor. ;)”
Mattheo let out a low chuckle. She was funny. Slytherin vibes, or so he thought.
The next page revealed a string of numbers:
“1111111”
Some sort of code?
“Solve it, decipher it, and it might just lead…”
He sighed, already feeling the time he’d need to spend on this. But he was hooked. What better way to pass the time than chasing cryptic clues from a journal that promised not to kill him, right?
Tucking the book under his arm, he headed for the exit, but of course, Madam Pince’s sharp voice cut through the air like a spell.
“Mr. Riddle, you must check that out before stuffing it in your bag and leaving.”
“Uh, yeah, of course.” He handed over A Farewell to Arms.
“And the other?”
“That’s mine. Just a journal,” he lied smoothly.
“Right.”
He nodded quickly and slipped out before she could've said more.
As he walked away, a soft voice called out behind him. “You took the journal?”
He turned, spotting a fifth-year—a library volunteer, maybe.
“I did. Why?”
The kid shrugged, barely pausing. “Solve the riddles and put it where you get. She’ll answer.”
“Wait—”
But the kid was already gone.
“Wait—”
But the kid was already gone.
So, it was a girl. Cursive handwriting, fancy perfume, and riddles designed to intrigue. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a waste of time after all.
He made his way back to the dungeons, the familiar stone hallways feeling like they were meant for him, even if he wasn’t sure what “home” really meant anymore.
He reached the dorm, the one that was always a bit of a mess, the one he shared with Theodore and Lorenzo. The air had that funny, almost burnt toast scent to it that Mattheo had gotten used to. It wasn’t perfect, but it was his.
But his mind wasn’t on the dorm or the mess. It was on the journal. It had been... interesting. Why would Mattheo Riddle, of all people, take the time to talk to someone who had no idea who he was? Maybe that’s exactly why—someone who wouldn’t judge him for the name or the bloodline.
“Oi, Enzo, give me a hand with something?”
“God, Matt, do you ever think maybe I have my own stuff to do? Maybe Enzo has plans, y’know?”
“Shut up and help. I totally covered for you with Greengrass about your stupid book, remember?”
“Fuck you.”
“Yeah, yeah, come on.”
Lorenzo flopped down next to him on the couch, eyeing the journal in Mattheo’s hand.
“So, let me get this straight. You’re talking to a girl—who could very well not be a girl—and you want me to solve the riddles and help you, because you’re actually interested? AND, you're intrigued by one line? the one line she wrote-?”
Mattheo rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but it’s a good line.”
Lorenzo gave him a skeptical look. “A good line? She could be some weird third-year with a collection of creepy journals. I’m just saying, don’t get too attached.”
“Relax, I’m not getting attached,” Mattheo said, but the words felt hollow even to him.
Lorenzo snatched the journal from his hand, flipping through the pages. “You’re telling me you’re not intrigued by this?” He raised an eyebrow. “I mean, ‘Do you dare?’ That’s some serious mysterious girl energy.”
Mattheo leaned back, watching as Lorenzo scanned the riddles, his lips curving into a smirk. “Just help me solve it, alright?”
Lorenzo paused, glancing over at Mattheo. “Fine. But don’t blame me when this turns into some weird obsession.”
“Alright, mystery guy, string the letters together and let’s see where we end up.”
Mattheo leaned back, watching as Lorenzo eyed the list of riddles. He was already beginning to look like he was about to fall asleep.
“Okay, Enzo, do them for me,” Mattheo said, tapping the page impatiently.
Lorenzo groaned but took the journal from him, reading the first riddle aloud.
“There’s a light that never fades,
Shining bright even through melancholy haze.
Name the song that calls out for comfort and trust,
It’s about heaven, but grounded in the just.”
Lorenzo paused, scratching his chin. “Okay, that’s definitely an old one, maybe like Lana? Considering the stickers?”
Something seemed to have clicked for mattheo, “No, no, no The smiths! SHE LIKES THE SMITHS, ENZO- oh my god, there’s a light that never goes out, thats it!”
Lorenzo kept going, flipping to the next one, sighing at Mattheo. "Once again, same music taste does not equal soulmate- god, do you ever learn?"
Mattheo rolled his eyes, "Alright, shut up, go on"
“If sweets are your craving, step through my door,
From Chocolate Frogs to Fizzing Whizbees galore.
In Hogsmeade’s heart, where sugar dreams thrive,
Name the shop where treats come alive.”
“Honestly, that’s a no-brainer. It’s Honeydukes,” Lorenzo said without hesitation.
“Right, right. You’re on fire,” Mattheo teased, as Lorenzo moved on to the next.
"I’m often served up cold or hot,
A liquid refreshment, I hit the spot.
I come in flavours, both sweet and bold,
What am I? Guess me, I’m quite old."
Lorenzo grinned. “Coffee? Like, uh, lets say expresso? ”
Mattheo rolled his eyes. “Of course you’d get that one first try.”
Lorenzo continued to read, now with a slight smirk.
“An ode to a woman with a celestial name,
Her vibe is electric, not one you can tame.
From the album that rocked the world wide,
Name the track.”
Lorenzo stared at the riddle for a moment, clearly deep in thought. His lips curled slightly, as if trying to put the pieces together.
Mattheo watched, his mind already racing through possibilities. "Come on, Enzo. It’s not that hard."
Lorenzo looked up, clearly struggling to connect the dots. "I dunno, man. Celestial name... electric vibe... It’s throwing me off."
Mattheo’s eyes widened. “Wait... Arabella,” he said suddenly, catching the reference. “It’s got to be ‘Arabella’ by Arctic Monkeys.”
Lorenzo blinked, then nodded slowly. “Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Good catch, Riddle.”
Mattheo grinned, feeling a little bit smug. “I know my stuff.”
Lorenzo looked at the riddle like Mattheo was crazy.
“I’m a serpent, sleek and sly,
With emerald scales and cunning eye.
In the house where ambition reigns,
What’s my symbol? Speak my name.”
“Matt, come on. The locket, duh.”
“Oh, right,” Mattheo muttered, tapping his fingers on the journal.
Lorenzo barely hesitated before moving on to the next riddle.
“I’m the one who guards the goalposts tight,
Stopping the quaffle with all my might.
I block and deflect, keeping the score low—
What’s my position? Now, let me know!”
“Keeper,” Lorenzo answered with a smirk, like it was the easiest thing in the world.
“Should’ve known,” Mattheo grumbled, half to himself.
Lorenzo moved on, flipping to the final riddle.
“I’m a potion that makes truth come clear,
In Hogsmeade, I’m sold with no fear.
A drop or two, and secrets unfold,
What’s my name? It’s liquid gold.”
Lorenzo grinned. “Veritaserum. Honestly, these riddles are too easy.”
Mattheo rolled his eyes, trying to suppress a smile. “You really think you’ve got this figured out, huh?”
Lorenzo raised an eyebrow. “Well, if I’m solving all the riddles, maybe I should be the one old-timey flirting with her through a book. What do you think?”
Mattheo’s eyes widened in mock horror. “What? Absolutely not. I found the book. Plus, you think she could be a possible psychopath—what about that, huh?”
Lorenzo shrugged, unfazed. “Eh, it’s a possibility. But if she’s that crazy, at least it’ll be entertaining.”
Mattheo shook his head, but couldn't help the smirk tugging at his lips. "Not happening."
“Anyway, let me put it together. It says ‘string the first together,’” Lorenzo said, already scribbling down the letters.
Mattheo watched, tapping his foot in rhythm. “Uh, T, H, E, A, L, K, V…”
Lorenzo stared at the letters for a moment before glancing up. “Alright, so… ‘THE ALCOVE.’” He shrugged. “Sounds like the one by the lake.”
Mattheo raised an eyebrow. “Oh, like our Alcove, Alcove?”
Lorenzo gave another shrug. “Could be. Or maybe something else. Who knows? It’s just a game, Matt.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Mattheo said, leaning back with a grin. “I’ll go check it out.”
Lorenzo chuckled, tossing the journal back at Mattheo. “Right, because you’re definitely not getting invested. Go ahead, find the weirdo.”
Mattheo smirked, flipping through the journal and eyeing the letters. “I’ll figure it out. But, uh, if she’s leaving clues like this, she’s got a decent sense of humor.”
Lorenzo raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, sure. Just don’t get too carried away with it, alright? Since it’s just a game.”
Mattheo sighed and plopped down onto the stone steps, resting the journal beside him. He leaned back, his gaze wandering aimlessly around the alcove, still trying to make sense of the place. The stillness of the moment almost felt like an invitation to relax, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to this. There had to be.
He scanned the surrounding area, eyes tracing the worn edges of the stone, the lake shimmering faintly through the trees. And then—there it was.
That familiar "a".
On one of the tiles, nearly hidden beneath the edge of the stone step, was a small sticker of the letter “a”—it wasn’t much, but Mattheo immediately recognized it. The same letter from the journal. The same one that had popped up in the corner of the pages, taunting him with its mystery.
Mattheo’s heart picked up pace, and a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. Now we're getting somewhere. He bent down, carefully peeling the sticker off the tile, wondering what kind of clue this could lead to.
Whatever it was, he was definitely invested now.
Mattheo stared at the sticker for a second, waiting for something to happen, but when nothing did, he was about to brush it off. Then, in a blink, the sticker seemed to melt away, its glossy edges rippling like the surface of the lake on a windy day. Before he could process it, the sticker was gone, replaced by a folded note.
He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. Hogwarts magic, never a dull moment.
He unfolded the note, the handwriting neat and familiar:
"Leave the journal, I'll answer."
The next day, Mattheo found himself walking past the alcove again. The events from the night before still lingered in his mind, but he'd almost convinced himself it had all been some weird fluke, or maybe just a one-off game.
He hadn't returned to the alcove since he’d left the journal there, figuring he’d check back in a day or so. But as he passed by, he couldn’t resist stopping. The place seemed quieter now, the magic of the night before no longer lingering in the air.
But when he got to the spot, he was surprised to see that the journal was still there. Nothing else had changed. Mattheo stared at it for a moment, debating whether to just walk away, but something—curiosity, maybe—kept him rooted to the spot.
He bent down, picking up the journal and flipping through it.
"Aha, u so could be kinda smart huh? I can’t believe someone’s actually answered, that journal was probably there for a year? And good job with the riddles, I guess? I’m surprised you got the Smiths and Arctic Monkeys one, maybe u have a similar taste Mystery Boy. Your chance now, you give me the dare and I’ll follow through."
- A,
xx
Mattheo leaned back against the wall, grinning to himself. So, she was serious about this. A dare, huh? This could get interesting.
He quickly scribbled in his response, his hand steady as he wrote. "Alright, mystery girl, you asked for it."
omggg, I actually wrote this? I'm very happy about it, and i'd love if people interact w it, also ty @sunkissedscribbles for helping since my first draft looked like a seven year old wrote it 😭 also yes, this will be a series and I'm very open to suggestions and any improvements. (I should probably make a taglist?) - rey
#mattheo riddle#slytherin boys#benjamin wadsworth#marcus lopez arguello#slytherin#harry potter#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle smut#theodore nott#theo nott#mattheo riddle x you#lorenzo berkshire x reader#mattheo riddle fluff#mattheo x you#shifting blog#reyy#scribbles ;#mattheo riddle imagine#mattheo x reader#rey's fics !
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Genuinely think half the problem here is a lot of parents are not in a place themselves where they can teach their kids how to recognize when something is good, and how to handle the intricacies of emotions, attraction, and decency while navigating social relationships with other people.
When I was growing up, the way adults talked about relationships, both amidst themselves and directly to me, gave me the idea that marriage just sort of happened, like it was something you tripped into without conscious choice and were now stuck with. This led to a conclusion by me that any male I met could possibly be my future husband, which colored every interaction with stress and awkwardness and fear and kept me from actually being normal around other kids, because I had artificially inserted this importance into interactions that should have just been. Well. Interactions.
Looking back on it now, I can see that every single crush I had had absolutely nothing to do with looking at another person objectively, judging their character and decency, or even seeing if I liked them; if they made me feel safe, or engaged, or reinvigorated. I only had crushes on boys who I found cute or attractive. None of those necessary thoughts ever went into it, and none of the boys even liked or noticed me. Maybe one or two of them were actually people I liked and talked to. Hindsight also helps me see that when a guy was interested in me or had a crush on me, I was oblivious to it and was incredibly uncomfortable, because we were all kids and didn’t know how to talk or act and it just came off like them showing off around me or trying to talk to me when I didn’t know them, which led to avoidance on my part.
My husband was the first guy I ever met whom I actually liked and was interested in, and he was the first one who actually seemed openly interested in me. When I daydreamed about marriage as a kid, the only thing I thought about was a boy liking me. I never thought about what I would like about him, just about being appreciated and valued myself. Selfish, right? But I was emotionally neglected and it came out as desperately longing to be important to someone. And then when I found it, I realized it naturally came with a reciprocal effect on me. I do find my husband fascinating and comforting and I enjoy his company, I want to do things with him, experience new things with him, build a life with him. That couldn’t have happened if I dismissed him right away because I wanted to avoid the awkwardness of getting to know him.
I am aware we got incredibly lucky with each other, and I’m grateful for it. But what we have also took work that we both consciously chose to do. We had the guidelines of knowing that premarital sex wasn’t an option for us, and that certainly helped. But it’s tragic to think how many people could build happiness with someone if they could just let go of their fantasies and expectations long enough to see what’s really there and what could be if there’s mutual effort. But how could they? No one taught them, because no one knew how themselves. So many families of origin weren’t formed by conscious choice but by natural consequences of behavior, even if your parents are decently healthy and love you, they might well have no clue how to navigate relationships with others.
trads who use the term "courtship" are an immediate red flag to me
#idk what the answer is here#i think a lot about people who are delightfully emotionless about things like this#and not in a ‘i don’t give a shit’ way#but in an ‘i’m not tangled up in expectations and buried longing and loneliness so i can tell you there’s nothing there’#emotions are meant to be good things but in circumstances like relationships you have to watch them#that they’re not distorting your reality and making you put up with things you shouldn’t#even outside of abuse#maybe you’re just putting all your longing on a person who doesn’t feel the same for you#and you deserve better than that
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I’m seeing Zayn and Harry comparisons and it actually makes me laugh. In the big 2024, expecting those two to go about things similarly means you haven’t been following either of them for a very long time, or you have followed Harry and only recently tuned in to Zayn again or for the first time.
Zayn is not gonna run around stage, he’s not gonna do all the fan service and stuff you see with Harry. He’s gonna stand there, sing his music and connect with the fans in his own way. It’s also his first tour ever. This man has been solo since 2015 essentially and is working his nerves back up. Stop judging him and let him do his thing. He was already much more interactive tonight in Manny than he was in Leeds and I expect that to continue as he goes on with the tour.
Also, all of the boys when they were first starting on their solo tours were in smaller venues to begin with. It’s weird to be on a big stage with 4 other people there to ground you whenever you get anxious to suddenly being alone. It’s easier to start with smaller, intimate venues. It’s even better for Zayn considering his anxiety and the fact that it’s taken him 9 years to do this. He needs to get used to it again.
Either way I’m SO SO SO proud of my pookie and if he wants I know he’ll sell out arenas too.
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Something I realized (which was obvious to me subconsciously) is that... The family that vehemently didn't accept me when I first came out but now do accept me are still the same family that I am most unwilling to be open about things I feel protective over.
I remember that my dad reacted so poorly, not to my coming out, but to my transition specifically that my therapist was the one to ask if I wanted to put it on my file that I wanted nothing to ever be shared with him about my health after I broke down multiple times due to my anxiety that I would never transition. While there are and were protections for me, I was incredibly fearful at the time because I was a minor, and I was so worried that he would have prevented my transition that I couldn't have said for certain what (if any) lengths he would have gone to to prevent that.
He's grown a lot as a person, and made some commendable strides. But he didn't find out from me when I medically transitioned the second I turned eighteen, and I think that's among the things that truly made him realize the scope of the issue.
I'm not here to guilt trip parents, guardians, or other members responsible for the care of the children or teens or young adults in their care.... but this is a cautionary tale. You aren't saving the people in your care when you do this, you simply reinforce an idea that you will never care for them, never want them as they are, would rather them be shoved away.
When you give people reasons to be secretive, they will behave secretively. When you give people reasons to doubt their safety around you, they will become sneaky, defensive, and withdrawn. When you give people reasons to doubt that you value their life, they will believe that you don't care if they live or not.
#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#ally advice#transphobia#transphobia tw#i always feel the need to preface that i have a rebuilt relationship with my dad specifically...#...but that my experiences with them have served to me in many ways to illustrate... well... what NOT to do if you are in his situation#i do still grieve that my relationship with him looks very scarred and that it took a long time to get to where he is now#but i recognize that in many ways this is a product of the world and culture we live in and that he lived in#in a world he grew up gay was used as a slur. would i expect that trans people would be treated better?#and he was responsible for how he reacted but also... it's nuanced as to why he reacted so poorly#and i want people to AVOID being like he did if they EVER want a decent relationship with the other person#i want this to be a cautionary tale and that my ending is unique. not all of us are even ABLE to repair a relationship that was THAT broken#some of us die trying. some of us never get closure. some of us are in active danger because of those reactions#and that's the more common reality i have found. most other queer people have no-contact with families who pulled the shit my dad had...#...and that's - frankly - a good idea in 99.9% of cases. i will never judge someone for the way they go about dealing with that#i'm just emphasizing that i am unique in the sense that i was able to somewhat repair that
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responses to rehearse bc i'm seeing my grandparents tomorrow and they have a tendency to ask weird questions about the whole trans thing:
that's a personal question
that isn't your business
that's a weird thing to ask
you don't need to know that
i never said that
i don't know why you think that
#ok tomorrow should be fine bc theyre just coming over afternoon-night and other people will be around the whole time#but i DEFINITELY will need to rehearse those for when i stay with them myself for 6 days in september#wish id had these mantras last december 😔#i do have more ground to stand on now that im back at school and everything they have much less room to judge#but they have been a tad weirdddd about the whole trans thing#and will continue to be even now that im back at school i expect#anyway ill also have a conversation with my mum later about the misgendering thing bc when i saw them in december they did not get the#pronouns correct ONCE they did not even try lmao#july before that the first time id seen them since coming out they tried a bit more#thing is i just dont correct them at all never before in my life have i corrected anyone#until one customer the other month when the cards fell exactly in my lap to do so#but anyway hopefully ill have the courage to correct them myself i think i should#i did actually correct my dad the other week! surprised me a bit he called me 'she' it was a bit hurtful but ig it's just good he hasn't#much at all since he started calling me oscar when i came out to extended family#anyway ok i dont want to think about all that too much it gives me a headache#ill have a conversation with my mum and hopefully shell have the courage to correct them but if not i will do it myself#hopefully maybe#for now im gonna go and watch 911 lone star with my mum#wahoo shes enjoying it
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Excuse me but do you base your claim that Nenya couldn't have healed Sauron "because he is a Maia" (and not a Maya btw, also his name was Mairon and not Marion, as I see often written :) Sorry, I had to say it ;) ) on a Tolkien text ?
No offense but it sounds like a headcanon to me, just like the idea that Adar always wanted to do good and was already on a path of redemption when he put on Nenya is a headcanon to me.
Mairon being a demigod and not a god, I'm afraid I don't understand why a ring containing demigod level Ainur magic couldn't have worked on him. His own magic wouldn't work on him ? Why ? I also don't see how Galadriel could have known that. She was discovering the power of her ring just like the audience did, she didn't have enough knowledge on the matter to decide that Sauron's corruption could be healed while Adar's could. IF she did know that it wouldn't work on Sauron, the writers should have had her spell it out. I think honestly they just thought it would be super cool to offer a speedy redemption to Adar by making him miraculously healed by Nenya, and didn't think that the audience would wonder why Galadriel didn't offer Sauron to try with him, or why Sauron didn't express any interest in being healed.
Regarding Eonwe, Sauron didn't ask him to "heal" him. Sauron was in the process of healing himself (his repentance phase) by abjuring all his evil deeds, but Eonwe simply didn't have the power to judge Sauron, being his equal. Hence why he told him to return to Aman and receive Manwe's judgement. Sauron was scared and fled instead. I still don't see how the fact that Eonwe didn't have any authority on Sauron is related to the possible fact that Nenya couldn't have healed Sauron, tbh.
It is possible that the writers felt that this point was as obvious to the viewers of the show as it was to them.
Urgh, sorry but if that's the case they were very wrong. I'd say that about half of the audience of TROP have only watched the Peter Jackson LOTR movies, and maybe the other half has read the Silmarillion ? There are also people who didn't watch the movies or read the books. The writers can't expect such a diversified audience to think "obvious" the fact that Sauron wouldn't be healed by Nenya. Actually Charlie was asked about that and he said that maybe Nenya would have made Sauron better, or maybe it would have made him worse, so it doesn't seem to be that clear cut really.
Nenya being able of freeing someone from the corruption of morgoth should have a bigger impact in the narrative and caracthers and be a game changer in middle earth and the fact that Galadriel refuses to give it to Sauron that is desperately trying to escape melkor's influence is beyond shortsighted and cruel I blame the writers, mind you Not her but this is huge plot hole (idk what we would call a device being able to fix all the issues of a universe being ignored) and I can't stop thinking about the what if scenario where gal handles sauron the ring
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how do i stop feeling like i'm in trouble all the time fr. sitting here on my lunch break like everyone's gonna be soooo mad when u get back...from lunch...which you are allowed to have.....(?)
#social anxiety kicking my ass so bad every day#unless my supervisor actually says hello you are doing an amazing job today and i dont hate you im like omg she hates me bc i suck......#miscounted the kids yesterday and left one on the playground for like two minutes and im still traumatized#she wasnt alone or anything there was another class w teachers but 😬🔫#killing myself killing myself killing myself#i counted them five times today tho#and the playground was empty which made it easier but ugh#infinitely better than my last job and im actually good at this but i still feel like my supervisor doesn't like me#even tho i think she's just a bit awk and has anxiety also lol#she was reading a book abt coping with anxiety the other day lol#also my other coworker w the drama likes me but the drama is always threatening to happennagain bc she doesnt like our supervisor#anyway#my mentor just got here before lunch for her half day shift so i feel better but aaaaa#way less stressful than my last job tho and im grateful but very stressed lately#also the owner of the school was in the room im taking lunch for a while and im like omg she's gonna be annoyed that im here#she's gonna judge me for having a chocolate bar like a shitty spoiled young person or whatever and listening to music bc im rude#i need to calm down fr#she complained abt lazy inconsiderate young people at my job interview so now im paranoid abt every interaction w her lmao#bc i am a lazy oblivious young person and also i took a sick day my first week which is what she was complaining abt said young people doing#but i legitimately was throwing up i Had to call out#that's life in child care#but ughhhh#i was determined not to bc this is a job where they expect you to come in even if ur sick#but puking is my limit i genuinely couldn't do it#anyway.#normal adult experience#doctor who told my mom i was high functioning i want our money back
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Idk I just really like that Twilight's reaction to being told "Your wife used to be a prostitute!" is to go like
and proceed to say how honourable and worthy of respect her dedication, self-sacrifice and mental fortitude are, and how we're shown he actually means that.
And then my girl Yor sees his reaction and hears his words and for the first time in her life she goes like "This is a man who literally just met me and has no connection to me yet he not only understands my position, he's also willing to bring himself out there and have my back when other people have free bait to judge me" and like damn how important that was to her, to have someone (who doesn't owe his survival to her like Yuri does) actually see her and respect her choices and have the absolute BEST of faiths in her. Like, what Camilla says there has the societal power to make her look like a pariah. Yet this dude comes over and without knowing anything about her, he vouches for her and immediately assumes her reasons were noble and altruistic. And though he doesn't know what profession he's actually vouching for, he's completely right in his assumption about her intentions, and considering how easily the general public judges sex workers, it's no surprise this support gives Yor the courage to believe Loid will understand her and won't think bad of her if she ever disappears on them due to her work, because he's open-minded enough for his first and immediate assumption about her is that she has good intentions.
And I just wanna SCREAM because she has absolutely no idea how little he will judge her about her assassin gig. She already considers herself lucky she's come across someone who is compassionate enough to think the best out of someone who works in a profession that is not considered "morally acceptable" by the public. But she has no idea the actual jackpot she's hit, because his own profession is far more dark and sinister yet he still has the kindness and empathy in his heart to understand people who do the same as he does.
Like, that's it with her character, isn't it? She sacrificed her own youth and morality to help Yuri grow up and be educated, and that caused him to idolize her, and because he was the only family she had left, she has been desperate to not cause any of her ties with him to break. But it also caused her impostor syndrome, and she had no confidence in any of her abilities aside from killing and cleaning up after her work, because she lives in a misogynistic society that is suspicious of unmarried women (like, that judgment alone, considering unmarried men don't experience such scrutiny, can be enough to damage a woman's psyche) and because she has been working under a man cruel enough to hire orphaned teenagers as assassins and nearly kill them in tests of their abilities ever since she was a teenager. For her it was either "I'm either perfect in something or I'm completely useless and I deserve people's judgment". Because if Yuri sees she doesn't have the perfect record, she thinks he will be horrified and she'll lose the ties to her last remaining family. And she will think she deserved that. If her killing skills waver in the slightest, she will be killed, either by enemies or by the Shopkeeper doing his little "tests". And she will think she deserved that. And if she doesn't abide by the society's expectations, she will at best be judged and mocked (for not cooking at home) and at worst get arrested (for being suspected as a spy). And she will think she deserved that.
Yet again, this stranger comes along, is told she's worked a socially shameful profession, knows she's shy and with so few connections that she can't even find someone to act as her pretend boyfriend for a party, and he supports her. And then he finds out how socially unskilled she is, how terrible she is at cooking, how she can't even pretend to kiss him for their mutual benefit, how she has the tendency to get so drunk she accidentally kicks him unconscious... And those things that she considers fatal flaws of her, he says are parts of her that she doesn't need to pretend don't exist. That's who she is, and there's nothing to fix, and she can just accept them without feeling bad or ashamed of it, that pretending she's someone else, someone perfect, will only make her miserable and exhausted.
And like... fuck. How can she not feel glad she got to marry that guy?
And how much will her heart break when she finds out he's a spy and will immediately doubt all the supportive words he's told her? And how astonishing will it be when she finds out that he actually meant pretty much everything he's told her, and that he really resonates with her and believes in her?
(anime only here, don't spoil me for the manga)
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I think its genuinely fascinating how Biden has somehow become the bad vibes sin eater for the party. I'm seeing people who were doing the whole "voting doesn't matter both old men are the same" pivot hard into voting as harm reduction. The anti voting rhetoric has COMPLETELY lost The Youths on tiktok. People suddenly remember the good things the Biden administration has done but don't associate Harris with any of the things they didn't like. In my swing state volunteers are signing up in droves. People feel ENERGIZED, the vibe shift pre and post Biden dropping from the race has just been insane
Y'know, that is a... good way of putting it. It's also why I'm quite sure that Biden has probably been planning it for a while. I don't think he was intending to step down, and didn't want to be forced out at the drop of a hat, but after he realized that the circus was never going to stop until he did, he did the honorable fall-on-his-own-sword thing and definitely, DEFINITELY spent some time choreographing this behind the scenes. Because while the roll-out has been very smooth, it could just as easily (as many of us were expecting) have been a total disaster, and that doesn't happen without SOME planning. It's also entirely possible that the campaign staff flipped from Biden to Harris are superhuman, to come up with a massive online roll-out, new branding, new signs (they had plenty of 'em in Wisconsin yesterday), new everything, but I'm guessing it's a combination of both. Biden has spent his entire political career being underestimated, and after we literally made a meme out of Dark Brandon juking the Republicans out of their shoes, we should definitely give credit where credit is due in how masterfully he pulled it off.
Because we have had eight years defined by the central question of Whether The President Is a God King Who Should Serve For Life (the MAGAts obviously think yes), the sheer idea of a president willingly giving up his power BEFORE he had to is also novel and admirable. It's sad that this is the case, but so be it. The Republicans also got a heaping helping of Be Careful What You Wish For that was undoubtedly brilliant; they've been yelling for years that Biden is old and frail and can't serve and should step down. Biden went "lol okay" and gave it to them, and now they're fucked.
Aside from that, on the most basic level, it's far, far easier to see the actual difference in the parties with Harris as the nominee, just because it shows that one party is willing to make progress and reflect the new demographic reality and social mores of America, and the other one is not. Now to be clear, Biden deserves an incredible amount of credit for coming out of retirement (he was ALREADY 77 years old when he became president and had had decades of a long and respected career in public service behind him) to fight, beat Trump, and deliver an incredibly successful presidency. He held the line against authoritarianism at home and abroad, he rescued the trashed American economy and managed a world-leading recovery from Covid, he stood up for democracy, he spent four years filling the benches with liberal judges to reverse even some of the Trump/McConnell hack job, he finally passed comprehensive infrastructure investment and the Green New Deal under the name of the Inflation Reduction Act -- and so on. Many of these priorities had been languishing for decades or were completely trashed under Trump, and he could not have done so much in just 4 years without all that age, skill, and experience. Hence why all the Ageism!!! was (aside from being a Republican/media smear job) dumb. He's able to do the job because he has had decades to study. Turns out that makes you actually pretty damn good at it.
Yes, Biden could not do as much as he wanted or originally planned, had to deal with MAGA Republicans and Joe Manchin/Kyrsten Sinema sabotaging him the whole time (lololol Manchin, possible possessor of the World's Biggest Ego and with Trump around that's saying something, popping out of obscurity to self-righteously announce he would not be willing to be Kamala's VP. YEAH ASSHOLE. LITERALLY NOBODY ASKED YOU. NOBODY WHATSOEVER. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS AT LEAST WE WILL SOON NO LONGER HAVE MANCHIN IN THE SENATE). And yes, Biden made some serious mistakes of his own, because he IS from an older generation and a different style of doing politics/different beliefs that no longer resonate with the younger segments of the electorate. But this old white Catholic guy at the age of almost 80 still managed to be the most progressive president ever, coming in at a moment of incredible domestic and international crisis and getting us safely to the other side, and all cynicism, criticizing, and caveating aside, he deserves an incredible amount of credit for that. I mean that absolutely, and I am very grateful.
As I said, willingly relinquishing that power takes guts, and when Biden saw the writing on the wall that he had to sacrifice himself, he took his time, he didn't jump too early, and he didn't jump too late. On the most basic level, it becomes a hell of a lot easier to make the "both parties are not the same" argument when one is running a (comparatively) young brown woman and the other is still running their loathed felonious old demented orange traitor. Most Americans are not plugged into policy minutiae and details. They look at Biden-Trump, they see two old white guys. When you take one of those old white guys away (who goes in a self-sacrificially heroic manner and in sharp contrast with the coup-happy fascist) and put Kamala Harris in there instead, it generates an obvious jolt. People can see for themselves that there is a real difference that doesn't rely on closely reading news and tracking complex policy, because as noted, most Americans simply don't. The brown first-generation American daughter of brown immigrants is a quantifiably different story from "old white guy career politician," which for better or worse is how Biden was seen, especially the old part. We needed that establishment expertise to beat Trump in 2020; I still think Biden is the only one who could have done it, and as noted, we owe him a great debt for doing so.
However.... 2024 is not 2020, and it is not 2016. There has been this HUGE and unbelievable swing to Kamala because she represents the antithesis of what the last eight years of Trump-induced anger, fear, panic, chaos, and hatred has stirred up. That's why people are so ready to rally around her, just as they were (I daresay) around Obama in 2008, after the exhaustion, chaos, war, and mounting economic misery of Bush. Trump has been out of office for the last four years, but his shadow over the American political landscape has been omnipresent. Now people know that we finally have a real chance at getting rid of him forever, and just as Biden was uniquely positioned to capitalize on that in 2020, so Harris is now. Which is why, however tough it will be, she has a real shot at winning. I can guarantee the Republicans know that, and are shit scared. Because the Black Lady Army of Democracy has indeed arrived in force to Get This Shit Done and I don't know about you, but I found that incalculably comforting:
Yikes! All lined up for Kamala pic.twitter.com/Dt4OCDp7WX
— Alex Cole (@acnewsitics) July 24, 2024
This, at the most basic level, is what scares fascists the most, it's exactly what we need now, and what Harris is uniquely positioned to mobilize, along with her gangbusters appeal to young voters:
This is the energy we need. This is what Biden saw and planned for and which he launched us into, and where all that experience and age paid off. This is why people, even people otherwise disengaged, disillusioned, or checked out of the tedious and mind-numbering drudgery and depression of American politics, are responding to it. Because it's easy to understand, it offers hope, and it tells a very simple story that is nonetheless long overdue:
Thanks so much, Joe. Go absolutely waste that orange fucker, Kamala. We got your back.
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the night had been filled with merriment, and even the general couldn’t deny how well it had gone. weary from the start, he’d calmed down, visited the vendors and spent far too much coin in his ill daughter, and watched his soliders lose their inhibitions and get dragged back to the barracks by their peers. a tightly wound fae by nature, he’d forced himself to relax a hair and not be angry the entire night. he always had a soft spot for festivities. tradition was important to the general. evander smirks, wondering if any would question what he’d gotten into the night prior. “ neither. i choose not to indulge when there are so many new faces about. ” he admits honestly. it doesn’t surprise ev that he’s been recognized, he went more days than not being identified by his own fellow dusk fae. it made sense for the mainland fae to try and learn who the important people were in their new prison. a nod comes from the man, and he’s glad to hear it even if he cares little for mainlanders. “ i’m hopeful our celebrations also helped ease some of the tensions you all hold for being shifted somewhere against your will. ” he would at least acknowledge it was difficult for the mainland fae. evander didn’t hate them entirely, he simply had his guard up and hoped things worked out for the betterment of the dusk court rather than a forcing of rules and politics. his head tilts at the others words, and ev has to bite back a chuckle. high lords seemed bold from all that he’d learned of the 7 prythian held. “ apprehension to new peers is to be expected, my lord. i am a general, it is my job to assess all as a threat. your beast form alone could ruin this court, would you not agree ? ” he doesn’t really wait for an answer. “ it would be foolish of me not to be on my guard, even if you give your word not to do such a thing. my high lord values my insight, and my caution. it is how i serve as a proper general. i do not dislike speaking to those of you from the mainland, i dislike having so many new faces to judge when they too are not too happy to be here either. it's given me quite a bit of work to do. ”
once saint would never sit idle on parties or festivities, and when it came to the dawn court's yearly celebrations, it was one of the few things the high lord looked forward to. a part of him had wished to let go, and indulge as the others did around him. given into his greater urges for a night, but he refrained, and truly he was not certain how he managed such a thing, or perhaps running into the woman who haunted his past in every conceivable manner and had placed an end to any ideas he might have entertained. instead, saint found some for of contentment simply standing on the sidelines and watching her. the very least, the high lord did attempt to be useful and studied the dusk fae, as if the night would reveal anything imperative about these people and their lands. "which one do you fall under, general evander, is it?" there was no doubt he was, saint's spies had given him enough information to identify which faces were of consequence in this court. "the goal was achieved, more so that we had a chance to mingle with you all on a closer level. i do not think any of the courts have experienced anything close to this for all hallow's eve." his head tilts as he appraised the general before him, "you all do not seem keen on mingling with your fellow courts. while i understand your court's apprehension, if we're to remain here for the foreseeable future, we will benefit far more with communication amongst us all. wouldn't you high lord agree?"
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TLDR: Francesca Bridgerton is Autistic. Fight me.
Okay so I did not go into Season 3 of Bridgerton expecting to have any feelings about Francesca Bridgerton. We have seen her only in glimpses in the show and I have not read the books, so I knew basically nothing about her before binging the first four episodes.
But guys. GUYS. I will die for this autistic queen.
Okay, so starting with first impressions. We know that on her big day, Francesca went out of her way to avoid her nosy, loud family by having a very early, quiet breakfast by herself and then calming down via playing the piano (clearly a special interest of hers).
In her first balls, we see Francesca light up any time she talks about music (clearly her current or forever special interest) but as soon as men try to take it to a flirting place she IMMEDIATELY shuts down. It's clear that even as she states very matter-of-factly that she plans to marry this season, she also is baffled and uncomfortable any time someone tries to actually, ya know, court her.
At one of her first shindigs, she got attention and then went up to her brother and (while making almost no eye contact) told him (rather than asked him) that she needed a sec.
She then sat by herself in the side of the ballroom.
Later on, she left a ball in search of quiet and solitude to fix her sensory overload, so she went outside this time. (A thing that we know from pervious seasons is a HUGE no-no, particularly unchaperoned. But she was very respectfully near the door so maybe that's fine?) The point is that she cares very much about staying respectable so she can get this marriage thing over with and get people to stop perceiving her, yet she risks some scandal by going outside just so she can be somewhere quiet alone.
Enter: this absolute (also autistic) Prince Charming.
He says hello (so she knows he's not like trying to sneak up on her in the dark like a creep) and then just stands there. 10/10, no notes, best way to flirt I have ever seen in my life.
Seriously just look at this. I'm in love. Never before has there been a greater sign of love at first sight than in this "standing politely five feet apart in total silence in the middle of a ball and enjoying each other's company."
I need to go watch these first four episodes about a hundred more times, but I THINK this might be the first sincere smile we see from Francesca??!? I at least got the impression immediately that this is the first time she's felt genuinely comfortable and happy while not entirely alone this season.
Like, these nerds did not even exchange names. They barely exchanged a word. Yet you can see them falling head over heels in love right there in that moment. I don't even LIKE love at first sight tropes and they have my whole heart. They are the only exception.
Then, of course, you have this second absolutely iconic Scene of Silence where the entire Bridgerton family stares in neurotypical confusion a these two amazing weirdos. The way these two do not know each other but they DO know each other. The way they are both so happy and so comfortable but also still playing the whole society game the way they were told they had to?? I just don't have words right now.
LOOK AT HER SMILE, GUYSSSSSSSS.
Look how happy this tiny, silent moment is making her. How she understands immediately what he's doing and is absolutely delighted to participate too even knowing her entire family is hardcore judging them from not that far away.
And then you get this smug little look from him and it's like you can see his autistic ass thinking, "Yes. I calculated correctly. This was the correct romance option. Gold star to me." (Okay, maybe that's just how my brain works but shhhhh)
Which, of course, brings us to this absolutely hilariously awkward ND attempt at flirting. We start off with some fairly normal "whoops, I'm flustered cause you make me nervous" sort of moments, but notice how little eye contact she makes. How she only looks in his eyes very briefly and it seems like she almost has to remind herself to do so when she's doing the "polite" answers (OR later when she's genuinely interested in a topic).
So as soon as Francesca is like "oh shit, I ruined it. I forgot how to neurotypical. It's over" then she loses patience with the practiced social niceties.
I spent like 30 minutes trying to find a GIF and I should already be asleep so I'm not going to go learn how to make one BUT I needed to look up exactly what happens next cause it's basically the most autistic thing I've ever seen.
WHICH IS that in response to the second awkward silence after Francesca shares all of this, John's response is, "That is helpful. If you'll excuse me."
Then dude bro just WALKS AWAY WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD.
Like it would be awkward anyway but now Francesca thinks she misread a social cue so she's feeling sad, and meanwhile this absolute king is over here on a romantic mission no one asked him to do because he is that set on showing her he's listening and cares.
The man shows up at the ball and as soon as he had a paper we were all screaming "he wrote her a song!!!"
Again, notice the eye contact (or lack thereof). I think with period dramas and women, it's easy to just go "oh she's just shy" or "she's just being demure like she's supposed to" but like NO. This girl does not want to meet anyone's eyes.
Until she does. Because in moments where she's talking about music or enjoying quiet, it's worth it to purposefully meet his eyes and see how he's feeling too. To make sure he can see she's happy.
ANYWAY, it was so much better than him writing a song for her.
SO. MUCH. BETTER.
Because he didn't just give her any ol' music. He sought out the music they'd specifically heard in the street, and he took her exact specifications on what was "wrong" with the music, and he FIXED IT. He then put the whole thing on sheet music and handed her a copy with no further explanation than this.
Our autistic lass was so excited she basically sprinted out of that ball so she could find a piano. (Which, the fact that she does this rather than try to stay and flirt/dance with the man who just gave her this incredible gift ALSO says a lot, just saying. Daphne could never.)
So our girl finds a piano and GUYS. LOOK AT HOW HAPPY SHE IS.
I'm pretty sure this woman would accept a proposal right this second. Maybe make one herself. She is so head over heels in love with this man that it's absurd. We have watched her mask in these first four episodes, but the last two where she's interacting with John are the first times she seems genuinely happy and like the real her is shining through.
Like, does she enjoy her family? Sure. But it's obvious (and she even tells us) that she finds them overwhelming and generally to be A Lot. But these scenes? This gesture?
You can just get how seen she feels. How weird and wild and amazing it is to her that this man can see who she actually is and wants to join her there instead of making her play some part of the perfect Bridgerton who likes to be the center of attention.
(And even here - the EYE CONTACT. She glances at people when she's talking to them, but the way she looks at the sheet music is so much more intense and intimate and personal than anytime she's looking at the average person in the show. She still even in places she's most comfortable, such as sitting at the piano, makes very little eye contact and only at very specific moments.)
Anyway I'm going to sleep now but I'm sure I'll add more thoughts as they come to me. Feel free to add your own case for why Francesca is autistic and/or otherwise neurodivergent. I want to hear allllllll the thoughts.
#francesca bridgerton#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton s3#john stirling#bridgerton netflix#bridgerton season three#Francesca is Autistic#Autism#Autistic
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𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐮𝐩 ❤️🔥
my ideas + observations on what lilith aspects might look like in daily life <3
Lilith-Sun Aspects: Getting noticed right away by people especially when a group setting, being liked by people on the surface level but secretly they disapprove or frown at your actions when you turn around, men judging you, standing your ground at all costs, not knowing when to back down, being a natural leader, challenging societal norms with who you are and forms of self expression, walking into a meeting or class wearing a bold outfit and peoples heads turning but not a word is uttered, getting dress-coded at work or school, your boss or teachers feeling uncomfortable to say something to you, people feeling like you are being "messy" when you question the norms, not addressing rumors. knowing you're gonn stir things up when you are walking into rooms and not caring, being told to change, being told you're too much, men wanting to date you but then wishing you would be "easy to work with" or wanting to date you and then get mad when they can't dominate you, you thinking "what don't they fucking understand? I just don't want to be like them" being afraid of your individuality not being recognized that you go to extremes at some moments
Lilith-Moon aspects: the type of people to actually answer with the truth when you ask them how they're doing and then you're kind of shook because you thought they were gonna sugarcoat and be like "I'm fine" being painfully honest or blunt, talking about feelings considered taboo (like no one really likes to talk about how they are jealous or bitter or other shit like that, they just hide it or project it) but lilith-moon will say they're feeling that shit. this reminds of the song wildflower by billie eilish. this aspect is women talking shit about you, having trauma with you, women in your life judging you or pointing fingers at you for not falling into the "good girl" category. being told you're wrong for how you feel, feeling intense or moody and other people being able to pick up on it, other people seeing you as magnetic but also unpredictable and they can admire you for being real with them but it also might scare them, mom saying you are a wild child or just too much to deal with when you get "emotional", you wanting to yell "no im not fucking okay and im not gonna sit here and pretend I am"
Lilith-Venus aspects: men want you and see being with you as a challenge, they want to be with you to show off but then get mad when they cant change you, being called a "tease" or saying that you lead people on, men lying about you, spreading rumors about you, men saying they "talked to you" or dated you after texting you LMAOOO.. just fucking lying! being villanized for your beauty, your beauty feeling like its making you a target, women seeing you as competition, women spreading rumors about your beauty (oh she probably got this and this done or oh she shes only pretty because xyz), men in relationships looking at you and thinking you are manipulating them when you're not doing anything, feeling like anything venus related (beauty, art, relationships) in your life gets distorted, your relationships always feeling like a battlefield, being sensual + in tune with your femininity and then people expect you to tone it down, you might do something like wear red lipstick or heels or a nice dress and be told its too much but someone without this energy in their chart probs wouldnt get that reaction, you wondering "what's the difference between me and her? Why do they treat her like that and me like this?"
Lilith-Mercury aspects: being blunt, hurting someones feelings without meaning to, getting criticized for whatever you say, trying to be more "polite" but then it feels so exhausting, cursing a lot, cursing from a very young age and/or in professional settings, saying what other people refuse to say for the sake of being polite or because its a "superior" this is the person that in the meeting will the supervisor "In my opinion, this isnt a good idea and it isnt helpful to us", people talking shit behind your back, the person who dissects other peoples words down to the stutter, punctuation and fucking COMMA! How did they say it? What word did they say first? lilith-mercury will read between the lines and force you to say what you are refusing to say or putting in a passive aggressive manner, might refuse to engage with passive agressive people until they say it with their chest, "could you repeat that?" energy, "what did you mean by that?" energy knowing damn well what they meant, talking about politics at the dinner table during the family reunion, talking about sex in the break room at work, playing the devils advocate, reading smut, writing smut, loving dirty talk. trying to use their words for something good but people always making them feel like everything they say is just always wrong, pausing before they strike with their tongue, hating small talk, feeling uncomfy with small talk, people trauma dumping or ovesharing or vice versa, feeling suspcious of people that use pretty words with them, they wonder "What do they want from me? They're trying to get something from me...."
Lilith-Mars aspects: the first to get to moving and get shit down, getting easily annoyed at people that dont have the same drive, being angry at weak people or people that cant keep their word, "Are you gonna help or just fucking stand there?", being seen as abrassive, people avoiding you or shrinking back because of it, men wanting to compete with you, people feeling threatened by your ambition, the type to get nice things in life and people spread rumors that you had to xyz to get it, people thinking you're being confrontational or too angry when you address something face to face and up front, feeling out of control with your anger as a kid, people trying to push your buttons to try to get a reaction of you and then acting shocked when they do, fiercely independent in their routines, working out intensely, craving intensity in relationships, lines blurring between love and war "If I'm going to be the bad guy might as well get something out of it"
Lilith-Saturn aspects: a major dislike of authoritative figures, feeling resentful at being told what to do, wanting to do the opposite of what you do, "im not following this rule just because its always been followed", setting your own standards and expectations, "I prefer to find out for myself", questioning the system or cultural and societal norms and traditions that you find antiquated or unfair, people respecting you for your disciple but wishing you were easier to boss around, other people saying you're too cold or detached but you just dont wanna give them the chance to fuck you over, finding peace in the space between order and chaos and you perfecting that mix, wondering if life would be easier if you were "softer", choosing to form your own opinions on people, "thanks but I can decide for myself", feeling like you're held to expectations other people aren't
Lilith-Pluto aspects: not afraid to talk about the ugly shit in life, the taboo, trauma, control, power struggles, fear, jealousy because youve been familiar with it before, people being a little afraid of you, people saying youre too intense or even dangerous, people projecting onto you and getting mad or "disgusted" with you when you see right through them, being able to pick up on changes in peoples mannerisms, digging deeper in conversations, people suddenly confessing things to you, people not understanding why they feel drawn to your presence, people either approach it or go in the other direction, you come across as someone who has been through a lot but its only made you stronger, "im not afraid of the dark parts of life", going through something traumatic and years later thinking about it and coming to realization that you wouldn't change a thing, that it made you who you are, being okay with being seen as the villian in someones story
#astro observations#astro notes#astrology notes#astrology observations#astrology#random astro#random astro note#rxmxa#lilith through the houses#lilith aspects#lilith astrology#random astrology
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Not me imagining medic reader who acts weird around Ghost.
At first everyone thinks that you’re just weirded out. 6’4 wall of a man in a skull mask. His eyes covered in black makeup and eyes such a deep brown they’re almost black. Anyone in their right mind would be on edge.
But then as time progresses it doesn’t stop. You don’t ease up no matter how many times you’ve been around Ghost. Eventually the 141 begins to suspect something much more sinister.
Theories of knowing something about Ghost you shouldn’t. Are you working for Makarov and worried? Your eyes never leave him anytime he enters a room. Your voice wavering anytime he asks you a question. You’re not like that with the others. You’re hiding something. And they know it.
Johnny is the one you’ve gotten closest to in the 141. The one who wants to believe you’re not a traitor. You’re Birdie for Christ’s sake. Their bird, as they call you. You couldn’t be betraying them. He’s able to convince the guys to let him get you drunk. See if you slip up.
It’s a quiet night on base. Johnny had manage to get flavored vodka imported. Enticing you to come have a drink in his barracks.
And boy, do you.
You get too tipsy to notice how off Johnny seems. How his voice is softer, more alluring. You also down notice the phone face down on the table, serving as a live walkie-talkie between him and the others listening in Price’s office.
Johnny and you bullshit around. Talking about F1 racing, the need for more help in the medbay and even what your plans are when you get back home.
Eventually, he can’t take it anymore. He needs to know.
“What’s your deal with the Simon?” He finally asks. His question grants you pause, almost instantly sobering you up. Johnny sees it in your eyes. His heart breaking because he begins to believe he was wrong.
“Hen,” his hand grabs yours, when you don’t say anything. “I know something is going on.” You try and pull away but he doesn’t let go.
“Have-” you begin, trying to figure out how to tell him. Johnny is your friend. He wouldn’t care. But you fail to come up with the words. “Fuck.”
“Please.” He begs. “You know you can tell me.” You wait. Contemplating if you should tell him. But then it could mean losing any respect you had earned with them.
“You can’t judge me.” You made him promise, tears beginning to well in your eyes.
“I won’t.” He promises, offering a squeeze of reassurance. He knew that the moment you confessed to whatever it was you were hiding, the team would be in there. He knew what would happen to you. And although there were no romantic feelings he held toward you, he still cared.
You took a deep breath.
“It’s the mask.” You confessed. “It’s hot.” Now it was Johnny’s turn to pause.
The mask?
“What?” He asked in disbelief, pulling his hand off of yours. “What do you mean it’s hot?” “You’re worried that he’s sweating underneath it.”
“I want to fuck him.” It felt like a weight lifted the moment your confession of lust escaped your lips.
Johnny sat there, knowing his Captain, fellow Sergeant and, most importantly, his Lieutenant were listening on the other end of the phone.
“Simon.” he clarified. “Ye want to fuck Simon.”
“I mean if he keeps the mask on.” You shrug, looking at his bewildered expression. “It’s a kink, Johnny. Some people like feet or being led around on a dog leash.” You down the rest of the sweetened liquor, cringing as the last sip makes your stomach flip. “Men in masks do it for me. It’s a thing now. Lots of women like it.”
He doesn’t say anything. The room filled with uncomfortable silence until he breaks out in laughter.
“If you say anything, I will murder you and we both know I can make it look like an accident.” You threaten.
“Feckin’ hell.” He sighs, wiping tears from his eyes. “This isn’t how I expected the conversation to go.”
“Well,” you say standing, needing a moment to get your bearings. “It’s also over. I’m calling it a night.”
“I’ll walk ye back to yer room.” He says standing.
“No need.” You wave off. “I’m good.”
He knows you’re right. But now guilt eats away at him for even thinking you were a traitor. So he lets you go, listening to the sound of your footsteps fading as you walk down the empty corridor.
Several minutes later the others join him in his barracks. None of them saying something until, Johnny looks at Simon.
“Looks like the little Bird has a thing for you, Lt.”
Simon rolls his eyes.
Thankful that his mask is hiding his shit eating grin.
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Imagine doing so much hard work and persevering through law school to have your failed tests advertised on the internet news. The bar is really hard; he’s not “cringe fail.” I am jealous of his ability to even attend college without committing suicide. He did a good job. Leave my dude the fuck alone.
I don’t care if they’re elites. If they’re elites; then make fun of them solely for being rich nepotism babies. There are non-elites who have failed the bar (or any important test) once or twice as well who will see this and feel bad about themselves.
#My uncle failed the bar I think three times before he passed and he’s a smart dude. It is extremely difficult#I respect anyone — even if they are an elite — who is capable and willing to put in that much mental work on anything#No one deserves to be ridiculed for moving past failure and trying again#That is a strength.#Or do we as a society only care about the “naturally smart” and “gifted?”#I’ve failed tests and retaken them before and so have you; should the internet ridicule us?#The SPED kids I work with very often don’t understand things the first the time around; should we ridicule them as well?#At what point do we stop judging people for their mistakes?#Also if the roles were reversed and the former princess took the bar three times; would you still say she were “cringe fail?”#or would you be too afraid of sounding “anti-feminist?”#Why? Is it because men are “supposed” to be smarter than women#and tasks that are “expected” from them would make a woman a “girlboss” for completing them?#or perhaps is it because we just don’t like men and think them creatures of lesser intellect worthy of our jeering and pet names?#Because I for one am androgynous and sick of the double standards. They help nobody#Don’t expect more from men than you do from women; don’t expect less from women than you do from men#That includes how one gender group speaks of and behaves around the other#It is the reason why a man feels he cannot physically fight a woman who is attacking him#because if he successfully defends himself he looks like an asshole; and if he fails he looks like a wimp#It is the reason women vastly underestimate and devalue their physical strength and resourcefulness as a tool#because men are the strong resourceful ones because it’s “in their biology”#Even though I am androgynous and would possibly love to be on testosterone#I don’t need testosterone or a man’s body to pull off great feats of strength and cunning and neither do you#Ladies! Build some determination: “I CAN do it and it WILL work because I fucking say so.”#Get angry. Mess your hair up. Break a nail. You are a durable physical beast put on this earth for more than looking pretty#You are meant to break a sweat. You are meant to do things that aren’t “ladylike” because women are STRONG. Physically#Men you are not less manly for enjoying housework; and ladies you are not less feminine for enjoying outdoor labor#Crush gender norms. Vive la résistance!
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