#also!! i saw that ur feeling kinda sad rn and im sorry :(( i hope these made u smile and i am sending hugs!!!!!! u deserve them!!!!!! <333< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ fondness (chapter 16)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 5-6k

warnings- swearing, mentions of miscarriage, tae is sad sad, kaito is back, drinking, um i think thats all? lmk if not!

a/n- Lovies!! hi i hope ur all doing good. Im trying to write a lot more because i literally just quit my current job (they treated me like shit) after 2 months. Im applying to so many places rn but in the meantime im having fun giving my tumblr a little luv <3 also apologies for any mispellings, I had read over my previous chapters and cringed at some of the words I spelled wrong. I have been learning english for years now but apparently its still not to a 100, oh well! Anyways, please enjoy! -Nini <3

"I had my suspicions"

You blushed, eyes down on your water bottle as you sat in your childhood bed again, your mother sat comfortable at the end of it as you both talked.

You arrived back home around 2am yesterday, and to say that you already felt a little better was an understatement.

"you did?" you mumbled as your mother nodded, smiling.

"when you came to visit a while ago, I saw a lot of touchiness" she giggled "but I minded my business"

"ah this is embarrassing" your hands flew to cover your face, now knowing your own mother knew about your relationship before you could say anything.

"no, I dont think so" she hummed, looking at the carpet. "I just know when a boy is in love, i remember your father-"

you inhaled sharply at her words, biting your lip and looking away.

"-...he would always look at me like I was the center of the universe"

You stayed quite for a moment before speaking up softly, "what happened?"

She smiled sadly, "he chose a different life, and I resented him for so long, but I accept it for what it was, and now that I have..I feel like im free to live again. And thats what you need to do, accept it, accept whats happened." she whispered, calming voice infiltrating the bedroom at such a late hour of the night.

Your eyes met hers, a glimmer of love was bright enough to see through her dark brown orbs. You nodded as she began to speak again,

"Taehyung and you.....I always knew it would happen" she giggled, "I remember once you guys hit middle school, and the moment I caught you sneaking into my closet for makeup before he came over to play video games-"

"oh god, stop" you blush, shaking your head

"it was cute even if you wouldnt admit it" your mother waved her arm at you.

You hummed, crossing your arms over your chest as you got lost in thought.

"so, how is he taking everything?"

"taehyung?"

she nods, eyes burning a laser into yours.

"well...i dont know" your answer was honest as she sat up.

"what do you mean?"

You sighed once more before speaking, "he and I kinda argued before I left paris...im an asshole mom" you offered a sad laugh, looking down. "im an asshole...because, I got mad at him for trying to help"

She tilted her head, listening, "Im sure he just wanted to be there for you, he was hurting as much as you"

"i know, and thats the thing mama...but I just needed to be alone and away....and he got mad when I expressed it...its not like we are married" you roll your eyes

she giggles, "I understand my dove, but listen" she grabbed your hands, "things like this happen all the time, we cant run away from our loved ones when life gets bad. What happened between you both was terrible, and im so sorry sweetheart" she whispered, your own eyes getting a bit misty, "but running back home isnt gonna do anything"

You nodded before smiling, "I came here because its comforting, you're comforting.....now you're scolding me?" your voice had humor.

She laughed, "you are a 23 year old woman, I cant control your actions, like whether you stayed with Taehyung or came back to me, however I can tell you my opinion, and if your decision was right or wrong, not trying to guilt you, just being a mom"

You nod slowly, fidgeting with the heating pad sitting on your stomach to help ease the lasting cramps that only served as a painful reminder.

"you make your own choices hun, but...let me ask you this, do you love him?" she whispered

Your eyes shot up at her, your heart singing with sadness yet love.

"....yeah.." you whispered so quietly it was barley heard. "yeah I do" you couldnt help but begin to cry as she wrapped you into her arms.

A mothers loving embrace.

It could heal all, and this is exactly why you came back.

"You find comfort here, but as you get older, you need to find comfort in new things." your mother began, " life is scary, but its all about changing. Without change, life would be rather boring, huh?" her hands ran up and down your back as your face rested on her shoulder. "Taehyung has been here forever, youve grown together, but these new feelings? they offer new experiences,...amazing ones too. Im sure he loves you just as much, thats why he let you go..." she whispered, "but my dear, you have to fight through the darkness to find the prize, to find why you had the connection at all"

You were full on Niagara falls into your mothers sweater. Her words provided insight, but as well as pain. You shouldnt have left him behind, it was wrong, and you hoped he understood.

you realized that you were your fathers daughter, and not just in DNA. Your first instinct was to run away from your loved ones, run away from family when they would give you everything.

You were becoming your father.

And you hated how much you still loved that man even if he left you. and you hate that you take after him in such painful ways.

But most of all...you hate how you didn't even see it happening.

"shh" your mother cooed, holding you as she rocked back and forth slowly. "my child, life will settle, but you need to find your way, and if thats with him, you need to tell him"

"i know" you whispered, wiping your eyes as you clutched the tiny bear you packed.

The bear.

Fuck, you wish you didnt bring it in your suitecase.

It was the teddy bear taehyung bought the day after finding out you were pregnant, The perfectly placed initial on the middle that always made you remember he thought of you as a Kim, as well, even if you werent married.

It was a reminder he wanted you in any way he could grasp you.

As a girlfriend, a mother to his child, eventually a wife, but always....always his best friend in life.

Your mother looked down at the bear, smiling. "y/n..."

"hm?" you mumbled, leaning back as she put your hair behind your ears.

"im so sorry this happened to you" her voice was quiet again, "you would have been a beautiful mother....and if you decide to have kids in the future, thats exactly what youll be"

You nod sadly, "thank you...."

It was quiet for a moment before she spoke up again, "when I was in my twenties, your father and I decided to try and have another child..we saw how you clung to your pre-school friends and called them your sisters" she chuckled "so we thought maybe another baby would be good. Well- I got pregnant right before your 4th birthday" her voice choked softly as you watched, this being news to you.

"unfortunately I, too, had lost it" she teared up explaining the situation. "it was one of the most painful things I ever went through....but looking back at it" she smiled at you gently, rubbing your back, "im so greatful"

"grateful?" you whispered, in shock

"I had you, my little best friend whos always stuck by me even in the worse situations...you never had to fight for my attention, we were always together"

You wiped her tears as you smiled sadly, agreeing.

"and you have always been more than enough." she mumbled, "so my love, I guess the lesson here is...that once you learn to accept it and know the situation for what it is.....you'll heal"

You hugged her tightly as her words struck your chest with a great force.

She was right, whether you liked her advice or not, shes been through exactly what you have, and if she can make it out and be such a wise, resilient woman today, than you can too.

But you'll be damned if its in the steps of your father.

Later after she went to bed, you were left alone, the covers up to your neck as the tv played some old school tv show that only got airtime in the late hours of the night.

You found your hand resting on top of your stomach as you laid calmly. You had to acknowledge it to get past it. "im not pregnant anymore..." you whispered, feeling an overwhelming sadness fulfill you. Your eyes drew down to your hand as you rubbed your stomach, feeling a bit stupid at what you were doing.

taking a few deep breathes, you opened your eyes and looked up at the ceiling, "its okay to be sad....its okay to cry" you remind yourself aloud, voice quiet and shaky, "but I can heal....its not my fault" you nod, tears falling for the millionth time within the past few days.

You were exhausted, mentally and physically, but after tonight you feel like perhaps you made a breakthrough, you were proud of yourself even if it was just a baby step.

You turned over in bed to look at your phone, the time was 3:55 am, yikes.

You barley had time to register it before the lock screen caught your attention, now all you could think about is how Taehyung was feeling.

-

"why are you already back?"

"dude just give me my fish and dog so I can go" Taehyung mumbled, standing at the front of his friend Jin's apartment.

He laughed and turned away for a moment before returning with Hae swimming around in his tiny tank, the packet of food wedged underneath jins chin. "here"

Taehyung took the bowl and the food, nodding "thanks..."

"mhm" he smiled, "so wheres Y/N? The last thing you posted was a photo of her standing on the edge of some fountain, did you push her into it?" he snorted, trying to be light hearted with his friend.

"no shes just, busy I guess" he shrugged, trying to leave quickly, "wheres yeontan?"

Jin looked behind him and picked up the small dog, putting the leash on him securely before handing it to taehyung, who took it with his free hand.

"thanks for not killing my pets and taking care of them, even if it was probably Stephanie who did everything" taehyung referred to Jin's wife, who stood behind him with a wide grin of acknowledgment. "i'll see ya" he nodded before turning down the hall to leave, Yeontan leading the way on his leash.

Taehyung walked on the sidewalk, his feet finding the familiar path to his own apartment.

He left Paris a day and half after you did, only communicating with you through occasional texts that left much to the imagination when it came to how you were doing.

He unlocked the door and walked in, wincing at how messy you two left it before leaving. His hands gently put Hae down on the kitchen counter as he began to pick laundry up, tossing them into a ball and making a mental note to do a washing load this weekend.

Tae checked his phone for any sign of you, frowning when he was met with 0 notifications.

Would it be wrong to call you? he didnt know anymore, things felt awkward...you left with no closure or definitive answer on what was okay or what crossed the boundaries.

It definitely felt uneasy being alone in the apartment, he missed your loud laughing, and the good food you always made for him.

He even missed when you would force him to watch shitty reality shows with you because it meant he got to cuddle with you on the couch for a few hours.

The rumbling sound of his stomach knocked him out of his head as he turned to the kitchen. There wasnt much, other than a few now rotten bananas sitting on the counter.

His hand gripped the fridge handle as his eyes were met with an ultrasound photo hung up by a hello kitty magnet, it felt like salt was poured into his wound...his hand slid off the handle. he wasnt hungry anymore.

Beside the photo was doctors reports hung up for upcoming appointments and reminders.

This upcoming weekend was supposed to be the gender reveal. Deep down Taehyung didnt care if it was a boy or girl, but not that he'd be having neither, it felt more upsetting.

It was a reminder of something that he might never get to experience with you.

He found his way to the kitchen counter, sitting in the quiet room as yeontans tiny pitter-patter paws echoed through the apartment wood flooring.

Taehyungs eyes were drawn to hae, the tiny yellow fish swimming around in his spongebob tank, a toy pineapple placed perfectly in the center for him. For some reason he teared up.

suddenly he felt the urge to hear from you, but he felt selfish for doing so. You should be the one to reach out, right?

He didnt know anymore.

"oh hae....I miss mama" he sighed, leaning down to rest his head in his crossed arms over the table.

-

"are you gonna just sit in bed?" your mothers voice echoed into your room, the lights were off and the curtains were closed as two large blankets covered your body....it was noon.

"I'll get out soon"

She shook her head, leaning against the door frame "Hun, I need to go shopping, I need to know you are up and alive before I leave you here alone"

Reluctantly you sat up, wiping your sleepy eyes as nostalgia from high school mornings hit you.

"there she is!" your mom cheered, directing her cat to follow over to you as she turned to leave.

You smiled at it as you stretch, "hi baby" your voice cooed before turning over and unhooking your phone from the charger

2 notifications

"oh" you mumbled, quickly unlocking it and going to your texts. You wish it was Taehyung, unfortunately it wasnt...

Kaito: hey, I know this is sort of inappropriate to text you like this, I get it, but I cannot stop thinking about you. I cant stop thinking about the baby. Can we please talk about maybe getting a paternity test?

you frowned, petting the cat as she climbed into your lap

kaito: and I know btw that you dont want me to be the father figure, which is fine. Ive taken time to understand that...however i need to know if its mine, I cant live without knowing y/n. please call or text.

Oh thats just great, another person you had to break the news to.

Your mother came back down the hall, knocking on the door frame "so are you coming or not? im leaving" she smiled

"I'll stay here, thanks though mama, hows your back?"

She waved her hand in dismissal "oh im fine honey, I got my brace"

You smiled sympathetically as she turned to leave, knowing she was probably lying about the pain.

Shes always been stubborn, thats where you get it from.

After getting cleaned up a bit, you made your way outside to sit on the front deck, propping your phone up as you sit in the rocking chair. Were you really about to facetime Kaito?

....guess so...

After a few rings, you began to feel the tightness in your chest...the anticipation...the nervousness...

"hello?" his voice echoed through your ears, for some odd reason you felt like crying already.

"hey....are you at work?"

"on break" he smiled softly, eyes looking into yours through the phone screen. It felt odd to sit here on call with him, you havent done it since you both had been dating.

"so..."

He sat down, propping the phone up against a wall as he watched you, making it clear he was ready to talk. "listen, please understand this isnt me trying to make my way back into your life"

You nod, picking at the skin around your fingernails.

"I just want to know if its mine is all, I mean, I figured theres a chance it is, no? so this is warranted right? i dont want to seem pushy...."

You sigh, looking at him, "um, well I called you because I wanted to discuss everything"

"what do you mean?" his head tilted softly

"kaito, I uh, I lost the baby" you said aloud, nodding as you did so. In some way, the words left your mouth a lot easier than just a few days prior.

You were knee-deep in the healing process

"oh." was all he responded, his face appearing confused and unsure, "you lost the...baby?"

"miscarriage" you add, "it happened a few days ago, I never had the chance to tell whether it was yours or taehyungs"

He frowned, "y/n, im sorry"

"dont apologize its fine, im fine"

"god...."he ran his hands over his face, obviously deeply upset by the news.

"its okay" you assured again as he watched you for a moment,

"do you think it was mine? genuinely?" he whispered

You shrugged, eyes dragging away from the screen to look at the cars driving past the house "I dont know"

You did, you were 90% sure it was taehyungs, this was decided last night as you carefully calculated the dates between periods, and the breakup vs when you and taehyung got together.

If it was kaitos, that would have meant you were close to being 5-6 months pregnant, and at the time of the miscarriage, you were about 3-4.

regardless, it was still upsetting, and in hindsight, it didnt matter anymore especially when you had to sit and break everything down to your ex.

He sighed again, "how are you managing?" he whispered

"im good, im at my moms house right now"

"wheres taehyung?"

you scoffed slightly, even after telling him the situation he only cared about you and taehyung. "Kaito I called to inform you about the baby and the baby alone, we dont need to discuss my personal life, you dont get to know information that no longer involves you"

He sat watching you for a moment before nodding "okay....sorry?"

"thank you for being understanding during this, and all I ask is that you continue to be respectful to not only me, but taehyung"

He rolled his eyes slightly "okay"

"okay" you repeated, sitting near the phone, "well...thats all I suppose, text me if you have more to discuss on the topic, have a good shift"

with that, you hung up and couldnt help the slight smile that popped up on your face, you finally stuck up for yourself, and taehyung

It felt good.

so good that you almost called taehyung out of instinct.

would he be okay with that?

you decided against it, putting your phone away as you sat back and swayed in the rocking chair.

-

Taehyung gently creaked open the door of what used to be his bedroom, but was now reserved in the space of a future nursery.

He hadnt been in here in a while, and now as he sets his eyes on it all, he wishes he didnt walk in.

There were boxes of items you ordered online piled up in the corner, he smiled sadly and looked through them.

The crib you bought, he promised he would put it together for you, you were never good at building things, instructions or not.

The thought made him giggle softly as he looked at the other things, the vanity and picture frames. The familiar grief found its way into his chest as he went over and laid on the rug in the center of the room.

It was a lilac purple rug, you picked it out and decided the nursery will be just that color scheme, regardless if it was a girl or not. His fingers weaved through it as he began to cry, eyes scanning over the room that will forever be empty, items put to waste. The small bundle of baby toys that never get to be played with.

He never realized just how much he was hurting, but he had to say not having you at his side made it sting even more.

Yeontan nudged his way into the room and grabbed one of the stuffies, making his skilled exit quickly as taehyung got up

"hey! thats not yours!" he frowned and chased out of the room after the small dog, following him around the living room before running into your room. He gave up and dropped the giraffe by your desk, his tiny legs leading him away to hide.

Taehyung kneeled to pick it up, unable to help the way his eyes scanned over the items on top of your desk.

Unorganized homework for school, binders left open and messy, he smiled a bit at it as he walked over, his arm accidentally pushing some of the books off the side.

"shit" he sighed, leaning down to pick them up.

There was a smaller brown notebook that caught his attention, he didnt want to snoop around your things, but when the front of it says "to my love", its pretty hard to ignore.

He carefully sat on the ground and opened it, feeling wrong for doing so but unable to stop.

The first page was full of your handwriting.

May 11th

so...today I just found out the biggest news of my life. im pregnant, its weird to even write. I just bought this notebook at the flea market because I need to tell someone. Im really scared, and im unsure of what you will think of me. I love you a lot, and I hope I get the chance to gift this to you after all is said and done

suddenly he felt like he was doing something wrong, reading something forbidden.

He scanned over the next page quickly, seeing how you spoke about dedicating this as a future love note for him, a chance to let him see inside your mind.

He tossed it back on top of your desk and sighed softly, he missed you so much and it seems like every second only let that feeling grow.

He wasnt sure what position you two were in, but he loved you dearly, probably a lot more than a person should love another human being.

He hoped you felt the same deep and burning desire.

Thoughts passed into his brain, he realized he was grateful you went through the crazy process of the past few years, in which referred to the friends with benefits situation.

If it never happened, you would have never been this close now.

Little does he know, that miles away from Busan, you laid on the floor of your room too, looking over older texts between the two of you and giggling

even if it was about groceries, or a small message asking him to pick you up from class, it made you smile.

Taehyung and your mom have been the only ones that you can say have never left you, the only ones who are there when you need them.

were you going to let him go over something that can be talked over and fixed?

you looked out the window and silently spoke,

"i'll see you soon”

-

Going back to your old doctor in Gwangju was an odd experience, you had too have been no older than 18 the last time you visited her.

“It seems that everything is going smoothly, and you said you’ve stopped bleeding?”

You nod, fidgeting with the gown you put on as the doctor wrote down everything.

“Your tests seem good, i would say you are coming along healthily after this, which is a good thing, right?” She smiles cheerfully, “do you have any questions for me?”

You shrug, looking up at her “I don’t really know”

She sighed and sat down “y/n, what you went through would be hard on anyone. You are so young and you already are stressed with work and college, and this being thrown on top had to have been difficult right?”

You nod, resting your head in your palm.

“Do you think seeing a therapist would be helpful to you?” She asked sweetly

You quickly sat up “well…im going back to Busan eventually and-”

“I can contact your doctor in Busan and have them find you a therapist”

You sighed deeply, therapy was something you never really considered. Would it help? Maybe. But bottom line was that you never liked discussing your problems, you have always been closed off and the thought of being vulnerable with some stranger is terrifying.

“Look y/n, I’ll send your doctor a note and you can discuss it with her once you go back, how about that?”

You nod reluctantly “okay….”

-

Once you arrived back with your mother at the house, she began to cook something up for lunch as you laid on the couch, cuddling the cat.

She purred in your lap, making you smile.

"how was the appointment?" your mom spoke from the kitchen, peaking over to you as her hands chopped veggies up on a cutting board.

"well...It was fine I suppose"

"just fine?" she smiled, adjusting her glasses, "did she say anything bad?"

"no, no, nothing bad, but just...she wants me to do this therapy thing and I just-"

"oh that sounds like a good plan...I think therapy would be beneficial"

You sigh, looking down at the cat, "well I probably wont be doing it so..yeah"

She stopped cutting, looking over at you "and why is that?"

You simply shrug in reply

"you know theres nothing wrong in getting help...right?"

"yeah but im not sure im ready to go talk to someone yet"

She laughed softly, "thats when you should talk to someone, when you are unsure, get it out before its all locked up"

sitting up a bit, you look back at her, "I guess, I dont know, we will see...."

Your eyes returned back to the tv in front of you as your mother continued to create a meal for the two of you. As a mom, she felt defeated, she knew the other alternative here but knowing you, the reaction may be less than ideal.

The last thing she wants to do is interfere with your current situation, but hey.....

what is a mom if she isn't nosey?

taglist!-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

[lovebvni]

Hi abyss! My friends call me shiv so i'll go by that! I honestly just stumbled upon your account twice today and i love the readings you do! I hope i can get one too! (bless your soul for doing this in the first place and that too for free)

So honestly i have been trying to tap in the void state and manifest my dream life for a while now but i feel like i am very close so instead of asking just a purely void related question i'll ask messages i need to hear right now? maybe in terms of void or not, your call entirely!

I am so excited to read your response (if and when you do respond haha)

I totally understand if you can't! Hope you are having a lovely day! Sending so much love x

Hi, Shiv!! ur name makes me think of pirates n shiver me timbers 😭😭‼️ idk its js silly!! im happy to answer ur question!! i totally get wanting advice during the point between finally reaching ur goal and where u are now. hell, that’s where i am rn!! i’ll do my best to get messages to help u get into the void, as that seems to b ur main concern rn.

Void State Advice/Messages

“literally just be”

this is similar to some advice my friend nile gave me from the universe. just be in the moment. tune out all of the day, all the noise of it, the negativity and the fears and worries. all of it. just let ur moment be with you and connecting to the void within yourself.

close ur eyes, take a deep breath, feel it all fall away. psych k method (i hope im spelling that right!!) comes to mind + the colour pink.

i’m also getting, even while just entering the void, begin to manifest. like don’t even care/recognize where u are. understand u are the void and it’s inside you, so you can get what you want by just sitting down for 10 minutes and deciding u want it.

“it’s so entertaining”

do something to entertain urself before/as you’re in the void, just to keep ur consciousness awake. this will help u a bit

idk why this feels important, but ‘death of a hero’ by alec benjamin came on. it’s about witnessing something u shouldn’t have as a child. he then begins breaking down because someone who he once saw as an inspiration wasn’t as great as a person as he once thought. this is so sad n im sorry if u went through this :( i also get ur try to manifest the change of this person, to help them get better.

my advice is sometimes it’s better to forgive and walk away. sometimes it’s best not to waste energy on people or beings, but focus on urself and ur desires. i understand where ur coming from, but honey, it may be time to let go.

im sorry this got kinda depressing at the end, but i hope this advice helps you. i love u so much n i’m rooting for u!! you’ll get everything u want and more one day. finishing this at 2:22 btw!!

[sunset-bridge]

hey! =) hope this isn't weird but even tho i originally hated akechi after playing thru p5r, seeing all ur posts and tags gushing over him is making me like him a lot more and realize he's way more nuanced and interesting then i previously realized. also that he's kinda pathetic but not in a bad way, more in a blorbo way if u know what i mean. like an "aw so sad, i would adopt him" kind of way. if that makes sense. anyways i just thought u might like know that you've converted one akechi hater to a lowkey akechi enjoyer 😌 u don't need to post / reply to this btw i just thought u it might make u happy to know! have a good night =)

NO ANON NOW IM POSTING THIS !!!

RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA !!!

this is it this is the pinnacle of my existence. I can't believe me being mentally ill finally gave me something /j NO BUT THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY IM SO GLAD...!! hes so. He s so important to me actually like. Hes so real always he keeps it so real I FEEL like some people really gloss over Everything wrong with Him which like. fine. But GrrraaAAAAA me when the . The. Me when the when the incredible willpower and the masking and the perfection and the single minded goal and the the etc etc

Sorry my brain is fuzz rn but like. YES IM SO HAPPY... Ok anon and everyone. Some Of u real cuervoheads already know but at first when playing i didn't think much of goro like. I saw him and was like. Ok. Whatever

BUT THEN the rival thing started picking up in his social link and i was like 🫵🫵🫵 ayo???? This guy... This guy gets it actually. Etc etc and then i realized there was something so wrong with him and well now we are here

Anyways. WAHOOOOO !!! 🎊🎊💥 Lets goooooo!!!!! goroboys if god hates us why do we keep winning

[m4yasnotthatcool]

Can u pls write a Tristan x reader fluff fic? Whatever prompt you want.😋

Can u pls write a Tristan x reader fluff fic? Whatever prompt you want.😋

TRISTAN X F!READER HC

yea so my bsf actually requested this and they specified female reader in one of our messages

like, if i dont specify im prolly gonna do g/n or female reader idk

btw its hc because im not rlly confident in my actual fic writing skills just yet

anyway, my writing sucks, enjoy! (btw i say this just to not get ur hopes up or anything, if i actually tought it was that bad, i wouldnt be taking requests)

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

okay, so

first of all, he would "bully" you so much dude (actually just make jokes, but if you ask him, yea, hes a big bad bully, so dont tell him otherwise)

but if he saw it made you uncomfortable or sad or anything like that he would stop

clingy asf

like this boy would be all over you at all times

you could be just sitting on a random bench and idk, reading something, and he would just spawn out of nowhere and get his hand around your waist

its kinda cute actually, but it could be frustrating at times

like, lets say your parents wanted to meet him so you arranged for all of you to have dinner

and ofc he sat next to you (and you didnt complain, hes your boyfriend after all)

but he would just randomly put his hand on your thigh, and while you didnt usually mind it, you did now

(after the dinner he got a whole speach from you about why it was not okay that he did that, but he continued doing it anyway)

also gets overprotective easily

if he sees you talking to anyone and you seem uncomfortable, he would be right there by your side in a matter of seconds asking you to leave because of his "big, great emergency" while getting his hand around yoiur waist

you would of course agree to go with him, and when you werent looking he would shoot a death glare towords the person you were talking to

over all, great boyfriend, i dont know what else to tell you, rlly

after his dad sent him to that other school (god help me, i havent watched this show in so long) he wpuld send you letters and whenever he could he would call you

like, he would find a way to stay in touch with you

and he would keep all the letters you sent him back

in conclusion, 10/10, good job for getting him, and i hope you like him because hes not leaving soon (thats all i have for today, sorry)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

anyway ily byeeee

yea so,(i was gonna say ur name but id rather not have strangers know your name so..) bsf, if this sucks ass dont come to me bitching about it, okay? (do come, i havent written anything in a really long time and constructive critisism would be rlly good rn)

[euphoricfilter]

aw that's nice ! i hope u enjoy ur time with ur mom 💕💕 and so proud of u for encouraging urself ☺️ u got this boo. just remember there's no rush or pressure, move only at the pace ur comfortable with. *hugs*

oh yeah i totally get that. juggling two things at once can be overwhelming, even just one can too. so i think it's good ur allowing urself the time to enjoy urself and tackle one thing at a time. plus i'm sure you've been needing a break this week with all the drabbles n all. but again there's so rush to these things love 💕💕💕 ! take ur time n write when u feel up to it. it's okay, promise 💕💕

no bc hobi 😭😭😭😭😭 i love this man, love it when he let's the intrusive thoughts win 🤝

ngl i'm a little bit sad n frustrated rn (i kinda want to cry.. i'm talking i need a good meltdown cry) but i'm slowly cooling down i think lol. thank u for asking bby

(also sorry for blowing up ur asks ! i'm stopping now promise hehe*)

also ps i'm like half asleep rn so if there's any typos mb lmao

okay bye - 🎀

we had a nice dinner!! so i’m glad im the one that asked to do it and i got strawberry milkshake so i’m happy. i looked in the lego store too while we were there cuz i wanted to get the dynamite lego but they didn’t have it 🧍‍♀️ i did however buy wootteo online, it was an impulsive buy but i need the serotonin rn

i get really bad language anxiety though so i’m 100% gonna overthink the whole interaction with the waitress today for the next 2 months but it’s fine 🧍‍♀️ sacrifices must be made when my mum doesn’t speak chinese so i’m gonna just.. yeah 🥲 pull my hair out maybe

yeeeah i thought about that yesterday, like i had to put my laptop down because i was forcing myself to write when i really didn’t feel like it, i just feel really shitty saying no to people so it’s like what was meant to a short lil game has turned into a big project for me so i’m just trudging through trying not to let people down. it really makes me happy that people like my writing enough to send requests in so i wanna try and get round to everyone as at least a small thank you for the support i’ve received 🥲 except i seem to always forget that i type kinda slow and i’m not getting as much done in a set time frame but alas i’ll get there in the end

HELP it’s the fact he would like shy away when he saw people and then this man started jumping over his phone, running with it saying puppy mode 😭 he’s so funny

oh babes ☹️ i’m always here if you ever wanna talk, and really i hope even if it’s only a little bit you feel better soon 🫶

(omg don’t worry, i love talking <3)

MWAH 🫂

[donnieluvsthings]

Hi :""") do you have,,, any,,, somft headcanons at the moment,,, to share? if that's okay

yes i very much do here is somftness for u!!!!!!

is patton good at baking? no. is logan good at baking? no. is each of them weirdly good at very specific recipes and absolutely nothing else? you bet!!!

((they have competitions to see who can make their specialty thing the best but there’s never actually a winner, bc they get distracted and end up watching movies and eat all the stuff they made before any of the others can try it))

if any of the sides are ever feeling tense and stressed, roman appears to give them Affection!!! he’s very good at hugs and like, massages, but even if its not physical affection he’ll just offer a reassuring presence

janus always leaves little gifts outside everyone’s doors and he always says it wasn’t him but they all know it was and appreciate the trinkets he gives them

virgil’s eyeshadow doesnt just become purple when he’s super excited, it can be other colors at other times of high non-anxiety emotions. he gets a little self conscious of having his extreme moods projected for everyone to see but they all reassure him that he never has to show them if he doesnt want to and theyll always be there if he does want to show them

the twins!! playing video games together!! if remus picks its usually a horror game and if roman picks its usually like, mario of smth but then u have games like minecraft with unlimited creative power and they both just go absolutely wild. you’ve heard of good speedrunners and fighters and parkour-ers now get ready for the most beautiful houses you’ve ever seen and the craziest most detailed custom-monsters

((yknow how remus just screeches in dwit?? thats just him mimicking the enderman screechy noise aldkaldl))

logan always makes sure everyone keeps a consistent healthy sleep schedule, but sometimes he and one of the other sides just get so caught up in whatever theyre doing—talking, brainstorming, whatever—that they end up staying awake late, but the other sides certainly aren’t complaining bc sleepy logan is adorable logan. and maybe logan likes spending time with the other sides too but shh dont tell anyone he has a reputation!! (they know, anyway)

patton and remus have HUG WARS. who can tackle-hug the other sides more (with permission!!), who can surprise hug the other, who can hug the longest. sometimes they just sit hugging for literally an hour just looking over each other’s shoulder to continue doing whatever they were doing before

big cuddle piles!!!! patton is on the outside and tries to hug them all at once which he can bc he is tall and has long arms!! virgil and logan also tend to stay on the outside but theyre usually holding someone’s hand and still close enough for that warmth. roman and remus squish janus between them bc theyre the warmest and jan gets cold bc snake. these can happen at any time and if one of the sides is missing they will be immediately located for Maximum Cuddle Pile Softness

[moonkisseddelight]

Pac: Your future spouse+ a letter from them.

This is my first PAC, so I'm kinda excited please look forward and comment which pile y'all got💕✨

Take deep breaths and select the pic that calls you the most. And this is a general reading so only take what resonates

PILE 1

Your FS is someone that is indecisive and loves to party hard, you might even meet them at one. They love to work hard and achieve their goals. They keep on improving their skills and try to learn more about something that picques their interest. They are a very loyal person but at the same time might not open up to anyone or everyone. TW: They might've been bullied or backstabbed by some who was very close to them, this affected their self-esteem a lot but they did leave this person/situation. They're a go-getter too and intelligent af(almost a nerd,not the stereotypical one in movies). Due to all the bad incidents that happened in their life, they have become very cold and kinda emotionally unavailable and don't trust people easily.

Their Letter💌

Hi, uhmm... How are you, I hope ur doing great. I fell in love with you the moment I saw u at that event, gosh you looked so pretty in that dress and that perfume(I can still smell it). I have been through a lot and I know you have too but I feel like there are days when I just want to cry my heart out to you. It just feels overwhelming, I'm always cold to everyone but then u came and melted me. Can you please bake me that cake that you tried earlier but then we were fighting so I didn't eat it( ik it hurt you but I stayed stubborn and didn't eat it). I know I distance myself at times but I love you so much and I thank God for it every day.

Your honeysuckle

Extra messages: 'im sorry I didn't mean to hurt you', shorter than you, CEO/business owner, ambivert, sexy, funny, nerd,anxious, foreigner, tall

PILE 2

For some of you, this could be your bestfriend or someone you know. They could be going through a loss rn and are kinda sad. But I feel like they're mature enough to know that one day all of us are gonna die and instead of grieving all the time, the best you can do is move on. They're going through a transformation rn or could be moving out. They're actually very intuitive and are financial successful. So either they're divorced or widowed or its their mom or sister.

Their Letter 💌

Hey lover, how's life? Is it good or is it going downhill again, if it is then I hope you cheer up and stop worrying about those circumstances. Ahh what about that test/project you had? Do you think you'll get good results? So can you give me your time, you're always busy cause we can't meet up often. I miss you sm everyday and summer always reminds me of you. God that day of summer when we met, you looked so good! I was mesmerized and then the way you just blended and became the part of my life. Ik this isn't the right way to ask this, but will you marry me and have kids with me(furbabies are ok too) Let's go to a cafe and then maybe to an amusement park, oh right you wanted to learn that game right also u wanted to try bungee jumping too. Let's even go for a vacation this holiday, is it ok with you? I'm such a fool for you, I hope to meet you soon!!!

Your Lover/Baby.

Extra messages: 555, confident/intimidating, reads tarot, loves art/artist, mixed race, caring, religious,short, hates small places, atheist, family oriented, Ceo, introvert,loves junk food, extrovert

[serowotonin]

˗ˏˋ 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀 ˎˊ˗

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 ` sakusa kiyoomi ` 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ` 1.2k ` 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 ` pure crack ` 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁 ` hcs `

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` umm idk what this is.. lowkey based off real events? midnight ramblings? yeah that kind of thing i guess... also big thank you to @kaguol​  for giving this a read (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) `

it was sports day at your school and most of the events were over and done with but the teachers didnt allow anyone to leave yet cuz,,,, reasons✨

which is why some of the students kinda just flocked to the gym to chill and maybe play around

that was until somebody suggested they host an unofficial, volleyball game

the net was still up nobody bothered to put it down so yeaahhh

rules of the game were simple: there were none, except keep the ball in the air and get it over the net…however you can

at first only a few ppl played… the “energetic” and “athletic” ones and it still seemed like a typical volleyball game

then more ppl started joining

and it slowly started getting more chaotic

it got to the point where the entire gym was the court

there were ppl running around chasing the ball, others just hitting it as hard as they can in practically any direction, then there were those who just stood there cuz everyone else was standing there so why not ??

now sakusa didn’t want to be there

he was tired because his class had signed him up for ALL the running events

why? well cuz he was tHe OnLy AtHLeCtiC PeRsOn in his class

utter bullshit btw

he plays volleyball hes not a runner

but still ended up winning tons of races just cuz… it was him💅✨ no explanation needed

n e wayss he was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and take a nice long shower

but ofc the students of itachiyama wouldn’t let him

some of them dragged him into the game early on

again, because he was aThLeTiC ~

but this time they actually got the sport right lolol

honestly he was lowkey annoyed at how un-volleyball the game started to become but continued playing it anyway

it was hilarious how the others tried to receive even his weakest, half-assed spikes

sakusa always made sure to aim his spikes directly at ppl’s arms tho

not out of consideration for their pride or anything no no 

it was cuz whenever the ball touched the ground the ENTIRE gym groaned rlly loud and there’d be ppl going “NOOOOOOOO” 

and that annoyed tf out of him so he was nice with his spikes

then there was you

you were outside with one of your friends when the whole volleyball thing started and only came to the gym cuz the rest of your friends were in there

so you walked in, scanned the crowd, immediately noticed your crush *cough*sakusa*cough* and then found your friends standing in a group on the other side of the gym

now here’s the thing

sakusa has a crush™️ on you too. took him a while to realize and accept it but he did and now he officially has a crush on you

he just hadn’t really gotten around to the idea of asking you out or anything

mainly cuz he just very recently realized his feelings aka last night he was thinking about all the events he had to do for sports day and he groaned cuz ppl made him do it but then he realized ppl wasn’t actually ppl it was just you

you were the one who smiled at him and said “why not sakkun,, it’d be fun” and like that he agreed. then he realized further he actually thought about you a lot. like earlier he was thinking about how’d you look tmr since u weren’t gonna be in normal school uniform and you’d have your hair all done. and then he realized he was looking forward to seeing you which led him to realize you were one of the few ppl he actually enjoyed being around. THEN he fucking finally realized “oh… i have a crush…. on y/n……. oh”

somewhat conflicted abt it for the entirety of the day,,, bois experiencing feels for u ofc its gonna take some time >.<

he didn’t get to talk to you all day though,,,,,, he was busy with his own events and you were elsewhere

either way,, when he saw you walking past in the gym he kind of lost focus

lost focus in that the ball was coming to him and he jumped to spike it but only had his eyes on you causing his aim to mess up and well,,

he hit his target

*your head*

and because he wasn’t focused, it wasn’t a “soft” spike like all the other ones hes been doing 

it was a full-blown sakusa kiyoomi spike

that hit your face

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

sakusa just went: ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

you saw stars,,,,,,,, and fell on ur bum

like a split second later, you heard a calm voice asking if you were ok. you muttered out a yeah and felt arms helping you up

one of them was your friend you were pretty sure, but the other one’s hands were too big to be any of your friends’

“let’s get you to the nurse,” the calm voice said again. 

“mkay,, thats probably.. a smart choice.. yeah….” and, vision still blurry, you were guided to the nurse by your friend and someone whose identity you weren’t sure of yet

sakusa was still standing there

all that, the spike hitting you, you falling, your being escorted to the clinic,,,,, that happened in like 2 seconds

he didn’t even have time to say anything yet

to make matters worse, some random ass guy was the one who came and swept you out of the gym

sure your friend was with you but to sakusa,,, that guy sus af

after they left, the game continued and sakusa rlly didn’t feel like playing anymore

he wanted to make sure you were okay and wanted to apologize 

however,,,, the teachers came in shortly after and told them it was time for the closing ceremony

throughout the entire thing, his eyes flit through the crowds looking for you

he couldn’t find you tho>:((

big sad

after the ceremony was over,, he went to the clinic but you weren’t there

then he just kinda,,, /slump/

figured he’d just pull you aside tmr and apologize then

except,,, tmr came and he still hadnt found a good time to pull you aside for a proper apology?? 

you were just so… busy.?

finally,, at around lunch after you finished eating, you kinda just sat with your friends and were talking and stuff when sakusa decided now would be an appropriate time to apologize

he walked up to you and asked if you two could talk in private for a bit

your friends shot glances at each other. he saw,, but he didnt let it bother him

anyways,, he led you out into the hall and in the softest tone he could manage he says, “about yesterday… i’m really sorry, spiked the ball a bit too hard.. how are you feeling?”

you tell him ur fine,, just that it aches a bit but nothing serious

he nods and mutters another ‘sorry..’

then this happened:

“no it’s ok you don’t have to be so sorry. accidents happen.”

“it wasn’t an accident tho..? so im sorry, it wont happen again.”

“yeah ok,, wAIT WHAT?? wdym not an accident?!?? u spiked the ball into my face on purpose?!?!!?!?”

“WHAT NO- ofc not. i just,,, i kind of lost focus… on other things… at the time… and yeah”

“????”

*sighs* “i was focused on you when you walked past and didn’t consciously control my aim or whatever and ended up spiking it into your face”

“?!?!?!??…. why were you focused on me??”

“cuz i like you dummy” /it slipped he didnt mean to say this/

“oh.... wAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

and that is the story of how sakusa confessed

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` honestly think it would be better as a fic but uh,,, my lazy ass cant be bothered to write fics rn so uh,, hope this was good for now? lol might mess around and write one later tho.. maybe `

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[mommy-imagines]

Hi mommy! Ive been meaning to send u more asks but i get really anxious or im not in the headspace to interact orz so im sorry ive been so silent! This years just been a lot sjjdjd and its just really kinda hit me in the past month or 2 so ive been very burnt out

But yeah i meant to send an ask when u put up that post about ur experiences! I really wanted to let u know that im so proud of u for perserving thru all that! And that it mustve been so difficult and ik that things can haunt u sometimes but that ik u can def get over them! Im also sorry that u had to go thru those things. I understand that whole attitude of like "u went thru these things for a reason!" or like "ur a survivor uve been thru so much!" can sometimes be upsetting to hear bc sometimes u just want to let it all out or not be so strong for once. And that it can feel cheap sometimes? Bc its such a general statement and reaction ppl always give that kinda feels like its glorifying in a way what you went thru and i just want to say that its ok to feel bitter and sad and angry about what happened and ur valid in those feelings too! Idk i just wanted to make a point of saying both sides of it is valid and that im really happy that youve come thru it so well and ur still trying new things in life and that ur still here!

Im also really sorry to hear about how ur examns went! I was rooting for u and hoping that things were going well during the days u were offline and felt really bad for u when i read that you failed. Ik theres nothing that can really make it feel better esp after u spent all that time preparing and studying and all that but this is just going to be another experience that will help u later on! We all need some fails in life to get more experience so we can get wins u know? (jsjdjd the irony of me saying that after talking about how ppl only say this will help u lmao) but like yeah i understand how devasted u are esp after u invested all that time in! I hope u feel better soon!

Ndjfjf you dont understand i saw that post about me and i had to bury my face in my hands with a blush and a big smile djfjf omg i wasnt expecting that when i came to check on u djdjdj i like curled up in a ball for a splid minute rolling around jdjdjff i never expected to make a lasting impact with my first ask omg but im glad i make u happy!

Djjdjf im sorry to report tho i dont really have a lot of thoughts i can send in rn im going thru a bit of a dry spell rn in regards to abdl/ageplay and also uh haikyuu in general dnfjfn but dw ill still come back and read your stuff and try to interact when im up to it! I think i can think up some mommy and atsumu thoughts later tho theyll probably be pure playtime thoughts sjdnd

ALSO OMG GO TO SLEEP!!! FINISH UR WORK! DONT PRIORITIZE US OVER UR WORK!!!

(pls prioritize us over ur work!! Feed us that gud gud!)

No but for real take care of urself!

With Love UwU - meian simp 💚💚💚

Hello, my darling! I have missed you terribly.

Thank you for being such a sweet person, I really appreciate everything that you just said, I mean it.

Don't worry about not having ideas about our boy, I get it. I also get the burnout, unfortunately.

I am, as of this day, three weeks from finishing Law School. My finals are this week and the next one, so I'll be cramming for those.

I have a nearly finished self-indulgent Atsumu comfort fic. I'm not going to lie to you here, the only reason for this particular fic to exist, is because I needed to project a bit and pretend to be looked after. So it's still Mommy and Atsumu, it's still part of the original series, but it's very much about Mommy getting some comforting for once. I think that we are all in need of that, in some level.

I'm not sure if I'll post it tonight still, but that's a possibility. If not, then it'll be up some time tomorrow.

All the love, sweetie. I was going to say "stay strong", but I don't think that that's a nice thing to say to someone, it's alright to not be the one having it all together for once - I'm having a really hard time accepting that myself.

I hope to hear from you soon ❣️🌜

[matoitech]

hello u dont have to answer this if u dont want, but ur situation with gender is scarily similar to where im at except im in the mindset that im nb wlw and dont rlly kno whats going on. I guess if u kno how to explain it, I wanted to ask how u made that jump or how u could tell it isnt just a "womanhood is like that" kind of thing and is actually "i am a guy"

oh man i wish i had smth that would make it Click for u easier cuz i def understand being rly confused abt this kinda thing.. i got a few Thoughts, idk if they will help u out but hopefully they give u some more thoughts to chew on that will maybe help anyway. this got so long oh hell sorry gbfhg

i think like the main thing as like a tip b4 we get in2 the Meat of it is it is good to relax and b open to thinking abt bein a guy as a possibility, i dont know if this will make sense bc i do not know how to explain it rly but when i was struggling 2 figure stuff out what i had rly needed 2 know was that being a dif gender can just feel like You (but as u become more comfortable w it, you but happier!) for some reason i thought u had to meet certain criteria to b ‘allowed’ to make what seemed 2 me at the time a Leap but thats not how it works lol. u as u r right now can b a guy if u want to or r considering it. u dont have to feel different and u dont have to think abt ur body a different way or anything. sry if this part doesnt make sense its difficult for me to verbalize lol

it was hard for me personally bc ppl would b like ‘if u Want to b a dif gender than b one’ but like i said in those last posts, for a long time i genuinely did not know i Wanted to be a guy/was a guy, or whatever. i had no conscious longing about it or anything, that came later once i was more comfortable w accepting it. i didnt have ‘i want to be a boy/am a boy’ moments i can rly consciously remember putting into those words as a kid, cuz i just did not care about gender on that level till i was a teenager. like i cannot stress this enough, ur life and feelings abt gender n whatever do not have to match up with what u have commonly heard the trans experience is about. once u figure stuff out and r more comfortable w urself u may look back and notice things that may b like that common trans experience, but remembering this stuff or having these childhood experiences or whatever in the first place is not a ‘requirement’. like i said, no requirements for bein a dif gender

for me like.. knowing it for sure... making the Jump as it were. like its kinda embarrassing but literally the way i Found Out was i was feeling all sorts of things whenever i watched promare and i just felt this INTENSE longing whenever i saw galo that i later realized was just me rly feeling the Gender w him and being envious of that.. it had happened w other chars b4 growing up, but i had never rly noticed to that extent till now. and one night i was thinking my usual ‘i wish i looked like galo i wish i could be a guy’ maybe for the first time in like a Conscious thought, when i had never rly heard it in words b4, and i kinda stopped and was like. what? i WHAT? and then it clicked and it was like a euphoric moment for me. easily top 5 best 2 ams of my life. it is kind of a hyperspecific experience but it is also not UNCOMMON rly lol

also figuring out my sexuality was intertwined in that bc i was iding as a butch nonbinary lesbian and i had tossed the idea of ‘maybe id b more comfortable as a man’ around a bit but the idea of being a straight man didnt feel right 2 me, but luckily i kind of made the connection of wait im a man and im attracted to men at like the exact same time, it had to b both at once for me personally to figure it out and b happy about it. idk if thats smth going thru ur head at all but it was for me and was part of my Journey i guess and may help to think abt it a bit lol

and while yes its absolutely about what makes u more comfortable at the end of the day, i think it wouldve helped for me to hear ppl say that just bc the idea of being a dif gender (in this case Man) might make u feel confused and maybe even uncomfortable rn, that doesnt necessarily mean u r not one if youve been struggling w this and wondering, it might just mean u havent had that clicky moment and r ready to rly think abt it yet. i have grown much more comfortable w myself over time as ive figured this stuff out and i am still open to figuring out more abt myself and i think thats a good place to b at! just b open to stuff like this that u maybe had never thought would have a positive effect on you or make you happier.

speaking from experience i think if ur confused and maybe even miserable telling urself that womanhood is just like that and u gotta suck it up and get used to feeling uncomfortable and bad, u dont have to live like that! im not saying that ‘oh im actually a guy’ is gonna b what everyone who is struggling w thats answer is cuz obviously thats not true- and im not saying how i just described it is even how u feel- but like. as someone who thought that same thing but less consciously. womanhood does not have to be a confusing sad experience, its not an inherently miserable experience, it is possible it just isnt for you and trying smth else might make u feel better. and that can b rly hard to figure out in the moment, cuz ur Used to feeling like this and even if youve heard it can b different it might b hard to have that ‘oh theyre talking to ME, it can be different for ME not just everyone else’ moment lol

also i dont know if this is relevant to u but im saying it in general 2 anyone who needs it i guess; being a man isnt a bad thing and it doesnt make u an inherently bad person, manhood and masculinity r not inherently or naturally toxic or something. thats a harmful mindset to have for multiple reasons and a whole nother post so im not gonna b like and now a word about transphobic red flags but like, worth mentioning that that can b harmful or dangerous to trans ppl, transmascs and transfems.

my god this got rly long... if anyone else has went thru a similar thing and has anything 2 add, feel free to :0 hope i somehow got around to answering ur question w all the rambling! i am just one guy and my experience may or may not b helpful to hear about, especially bc my memory is not the best lol <3 hope it helped at all tho!

[godrics]

NCT DREAM BEYOND LIVE CONCERT!RORY

gif made by x

NCT DREAM BEYOND LIVE CONCERT!RORY

UNDER READ MORE  (bc it’s actually really long now that im on tumblr)

okay so the concert started with the vcr/video from the dream show ..

rory's little scene was her as a teacher !!! so cute

OOH and then the transition into her into her teacher clothes into a suit .. thats my girl

her hair is still like this. much more vibrant than it was because she redyed it oops

first song was GO!! change ur ways

she was wearing this [ black cargo pants, a black crop top, belt, along with chains lmao idk how to describe. oh and black boots ] for go, drippin', we go up, and stronger performances!

it was kind of awkward at first but then she saw nctzens' faces so she was happy

"to the world, this is the nct! we are nct dream”

she clapped excitedly, jumping up and down

"beyond the dream show~"

when haechan asked the time where the fans were, she read the comments, squinting funnily at the screen before gasping

"one of the czennies said it was 3am!"

the other boys gasped in shock before clapping slightly

"thank you for watching us even though it's 3am!" rory said to the fans. "but go to bed as soon as this is over~ or whenever you're feeling tired, that's okay too!"

"for our global fans, we prepared something special, right?" haechan said and rory nodded, smiling

"so we prepared our greeting in various languages"

rory's greeting was in french! fans went crazy bc she sounded SO good and her pronounciation was good too

after that she says, "renjun took english from me" in english and playfully glared at the older boy who laughed.

she turned to the fans and said, "but um, wendy-unnie taught me that so .. if it sounds bad it's all her fault." she claps as the other boys laugh

when they were talking about how they felt, rory said "i watched superm and wayv's concerts so i was excited because i knew we'd hear from the fans just like they were here with us in person. they were really loud, too" and laughs

when renjun told them to scream, she hit him lightly and said "yah, don't you remember what i just said? some fans it's 3am there!"

"oh dont scream then," renjun laughed, making her laugh before she went back to waving at the fans as they waved their lightsticks

when the fans appeared behind them, her eyes widened and she immediately ran to the screen, waving in all directions

she noticed when she got close to a fan's screen, they'd start waving their hand/lighstick even harder and it made her laugh

"rory, come back!" jaemin laughed, tugging her with him back to where the other 5 were

"wow, pretty grass" rory mocked mark as she stared at the lightsticks where the audience were supposed to be and on the screens

haechan had to hide a laugh

then there was we go up performance

woo fun

then stronger! she loves that song is2g

okay for the next vcr

she was in a school uniform standing in between jeno and jaemin

"you guys suck," rory laughed, watching the boys try to succeed

when renjun comes over and succeeds in under one minute and one hand, she gasped in shock lightly before watching him walk away coolly and put his head back down on the desk

jaemin nudged her as she laughed, "you guys are just losers!"

and then it ends on her walking over to renjun and bending down to face him and tapping him on the shoulder

he jumps from how close she is and she laughs, grinning at him, "that was cool" before going back over to the boys and he watches her

next video of the vcr oo

she gets hit in the head by the basketball(she's after chenle) and luckily saves it before it falls to the ground and throws it towards the basket, renjun jumping up to hit it in

why is she always getting hit in the head rip rory's head

next performance is dunk shot!!!

she hated the outfits tho jfc

she was wearing white loose shorts that ended midthigh and a pink button up over a white t-shirt

yeah super plain im so sorry rory that the stylists did you dirty like that

(to be fair the boys looked bad too like what was that matching .. there was NONE)

NEXT IS CHEWING GUM!!

AND THERE WERE HOVERBOARDS

SHE MISSED THE HOVERBOARDS SO MUCH

she hyped up jisung so loud during his solo dance

and had a huge ass smile on her face during it

she was in the middle of renjun and chenle at the bottom

AND THEY LEFT A SPACE FOR MARK IN BETWEEN JAEMIN AND JISUNG SHE ALMOST CRIED

"i think chenle changed the most" rory laughed, talking about the difference from now and almost four years ago when they debuted

"you changed a lot, too" chenle poked her and she huffed out a laugh, choosing not to respond to him and shook her head

when it was time for the interactions, she had to hide her wince because since she watched wayv and superm's, she was worried about how it would go because some fans' wifi connections were bad(so were sm's but anyways--)

oh luckily the first fan spoke korean !!

"hi!" she waved excitedly at the fan

when the fan said her name, she quietly repeated it to herself but it was still heard from the mic

"there's a song called 7 days in your album. what do you guys mean to each other?"

rory's mouth went dry at that question as she rubbed her hands together, looking at the boys silently as they ahhed and oohed

she smiled slightly as she saw how big their smiles got at the question

chenle said that the members were his family. they're literally siblings

she laughed at that

hyuck said that the members were apart of himself and that he grew up with all of them

jisung said bc they're older than him, they're like his younger siblings

rory had to look away in order to not laugh at his answer LMFAO

she couldnt contain how big her smile got when jaemin said that he couldn't live without them

she literally almost cried from tears of laughter from jeno's answer "onion"

renjun said that the members are youth to him

and him bringing up the stupid bottle to his face . i s2g she quickly yanked that from him so quick while laughing

and then finally it was her turn

"um, thank you for the question, siyoung!" she clapped slightly before continuing. "to me, the members are .. my childhood" she nodded slightly as she spoke. "we all grew up together so each of them have a piece of my childhood that i dont want to leave"

renjun pulls her into a side hug as jeno says "cute~"

wolfies(rory's stans) cried

when the fan said she'd stick with nct dream seven days a week, she laughed from the sudden overwhelming feeling at her words and bowed towards the fan, keeping her eyes to the ground so the camera wouldn't catch her teary eyes

too bad the camera did once she looked back up

"nct dream have 8 members--" when haechan said that, rory smiled big and nodded her head

"infinity" rory cheered, the members following behind

the next caller was up!

"ooh, poland" rory smiled

the fans question was "what are your biggest dreams" which she translated for them

rory's answer was "i have no doubt that nct dream will stay together forever so ... i my biggest dream is nctzens staying with us forever. even when we all grow up and have our own lives, i hope nctzens will some day think of nct dream and smile"

jaemin literally walked over and pinched her cheek, cooing at how cute she was

rory rolled her eyes playfully but let him

ah yes to this day he's still the only one she'll allow to give her skinship in public

rip other boys

she felt so sad when the third caller's connection was bad

"ah ... difficult technicalities"

she put a thumbs down

anyways next was don't need your love!!!

she LOVES this song so much guys its unreal

her place at the start is right in between renjun and jisung again lmao

shes leaning against chenle and jaemin

she loves hearing the boys' english btw

also in this version she has more lines but im not gonna tell which ones that's too much work

and next is we young!!

watching the part when they take a pic .. made me cry so it made rory very nostalgic

rory's wearing a professional suit but like . with a skirt i forgot what its called rip

she's standing in between hyuck and jeno

when jaemin laughs she laughs

she has that pic in her phone case btw

along with an ot8 pic

when they're talking abt the 50 years later OO im gonna . cry again

"so we can see how we change"

"um, we're gonna look older" rory laughed

btw grandma rory literally still looks good as hell sorry i dont make the rules

rory: "chenle would look like steve jobs but like .. chinese"

chenle was so offended bye

rory: "jisung if you grow a mustache i will never forgive you"

"wHY DOES IT MATTER?????"

"bc you'd look stupid i cant be seen with someone looking stupid"

the other pic where renjun jumps .. her face is literally so genuinely shocked in that pic LMAO she didnt expect that

NEXT IS BEST FRIENDS OH MY GODD I LOVED IT SO DID SHE

SHE JUST WISHED MARK WAS THERE .. AND HE KINDA WAS

btw she was wearing a black blazer but it was shorter .. and another black skirt with a white crop top underneath rip

OKAY HYERI MADE NCTZENS CRY SO HARD

so theyre uneven rn right?

so instead of her being a third wheel(not really)

when it's her part, she's backstage and as she's doing her part, she reached into an open closet and .. pulls out a cutout board of mark :((

yeah she cried too when she thought of it and luckily sm let her!!

at the end of her part towards the end of the song, she smiles and says, "right, mark-oppa?" and forms half a heart up to the camera

(taeyong later sends her a video of mark reacting to her parts and when she does the heart he puts half a heart up next to hers <3)

next is candle light! they dont really have a choreo to this one either

anyway candle light wouldnt have been her first choice bc she'd prefer to perform dear dream .. BUT ANYWAY

next is PUZZLE PIECE and 7 DAYS!!

the camera catches her and jisung doing their little handshake . so cute

she then hugs chenle so he wouldnt feel left out

end posing of puzzle piece, she's in between chenle and jisung AGAIN SLDJDJL

they form a heart with her doing the bottom and chenle and jisung doing the top/sides

when they read the comments after performing jeno reads one that says "rory is so talented, her vocals are so good"

and then hyuck read "rory's parts in best friends was so cute"

she blushes so cute

when they talk abt the album

rory says in english, "thank you for supporting us and we hope you guys enjoyed listening to the album as much as we enjoyed making it .. think of it as our gift to you for always loving us!!" cute baby. and then gives a little finger heart

special guest is mark, jungwoo, and doyoung!!

she expected mark but was surprised about jungwoo and doyoung

she couldnt stop smiling the whole time because literally all she had to do was see 127 and smile immediately like they dont even got to do anything

the technical difficulties .. rory said in english again "i think you need to get your wifi checked, mark"

"no mark-oppa?" he teased and she laughed

when they were complimenting them, jungwoo said that mark really enjoyed rory's parts in best friends and she full out giggled from nervousness, blushing from embarrassment

doyoung complimented her vocals and rap and shes never been so proud of herself

compliments from 127? her greatest achievement

jungwoo then said she was so cute wow more blushing

she found the challenge boring and wouldve preferred if 127 picked the damn challenge themselves bc then it wouldve been funnier and more fun but alas .. sm >:(

she picked puzzle piece tho

THE FUCKING NEXT VCR .. so emotional when she watched over it

she literally just watched her and her friends grow up in literal seconds

there's a clip of her from chewing gum on mark's back while he's riding the hoverboard

.. also somehow they got a clip of her hugging jaemin when he came back sigh

emotional manipulation!! she was kinda pissed that was in there bc it was supposed to be private but what can she do .. it's sm

there's a video of her chasing jeno during we young era while on the mv set

and another one of renjun literally dragging her on the ground because she wouldnt let go of his legs in mfal era

in mfal era she's seen running over chenle when he's out of their little cars

its funny he almost fell if jeno didnt catch him LMAO

but its ok dont fret he was in the grass

mfal era where hyuck tries to make a basket but fails and she steals the ball from him and makes it in .. he pouted FOREVER after that

the video of them in chewing gum era and then goes to ridin' era ..

her clip is her smiling shyly at the camera WITH HER CUTE PIGTAILS OH MYGODDD SO SOFT SO BABY

and then it goes to her in ridin' era with her leaning against the car and a lollipop in her mouth, staring dead straight at the camera somehow intimidatingly

n then ofc the music changes and the videos go more recent

theres clips of her behind the scenes in we young, go, dnyl, and boom

also some of her at that dream show concert

the ridin' stage was prerecorded but anyway she's wearing the same outfit she does in the mv

she saw a clip of the car cg and she yelled at the members jokingly saying it almost ran her over

wearing same outfit for quiet down which was live

they had one more song after :( she was really sad and she made sure nctzens knew that

"i wish we could perform more songs for you guys but .. only one more :(" and then sighed really loudly

"i wish you guys were here in person as well but your health is way more important and until then .. well, hopefully we can see each other again in the future! i miss seeing all your pretty faces" she then pouted as the other members oohed loudly and she laughed

after the other members continue she then reminds them all to "wash their hands and wear their masks over their noses if they have to go out"

when renjun says bonjour her eyes widen and she says "wow, so you stole my english and now my french?" she jokingly raises her hand to hit him but all he does is laughs and grabs her hand to 'stop her'

last is boom!

they shouldve performed dear dream or mfal but i guess booms good too not like they havent had to hear that song for 9 months

anyways

at the end she sneakily gives the camera a finger heart

[spirit-shroud]

i replayed kz again tonight and managed to beat it in 4 hrs instead of 11 !!! which is rly cool imo, i think i got a max of like 50 deaths or less for the full run ??? i was just playing regularly but usin the prism blade for the cool blood effects, not in speedrun mode for the counter, and i managed 2 drag my friend into hyperfixation hell with me :} but also i have some thoughts and opinions im not rly sure how to compile in a meaningful way, so here’s the like. pure brain-down-on-blog post version under the cut. if this gets auto-tagged into the real actual tag for this game im very sorry for my hubris im just. thinking emoji

so id like to start this with the final boss makes me SO sad :( like yeah she doesnt have much dialogue but idk she just makes me so sad. she’s so desperate and she Knows shes going to lose and im just like. no!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you’re so cool!!!!!!! Please Be My Friend We Can Work Together. I Know A Guy :c like usually final bosses are like weirdly emotional for me but she was just SO COOL and realizing like WAIT THIS BOSS OPERATES UNDER THE SAME RULES I DO was just like WOW even if as i kept dying (and i think i spent like... 3 hrs on the final boss alone lmao the first time, i killed her on my third attempt this run which was very cool of me) i finally realized that she IS pretty repetitive and got all her patterns n variables down super easy, but like, fighting another null who Should for all intents and purposes be just as absurd and powerful as i am, and eventually being able to down her effortlessly, and then the withdrawal affects of the chronos kicking in as well, and its just like. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

dont even get me STARTED on that ‘to be continued’ like yeah there’s a dlc comin but the game mentions repeatedly that its just the first act which has me like OKAY. SPECULATION TIME (what am i speculating on? literally no idea im not even rly at the speculation phase im still in the WOW COOL VIDEO GAME phase) 

and i rly like the dragon/fifteen but the first time i saw him i was just like. who’s this f*llmetal alchemist looking bitch ??? what’s he doin here?? go HOME and controlling him is AWFUL i hate the dragon tape so MUCH >:C but also he’s like. cool. i want to know more about him n his plot 2 take down Juncture n the government n whatever. 

but also i was listen 2 Full Confession bc it’s just. what the heart wants rn. i need to be sad and caffeinated in order to get into the Writing Zone rn and then i was THINKIN like my friend mentioned while we were playing the dragon tape that the song that plays is very similar to Full Confession (which i had sent him earlier while i was losing my mind over the final boss) and then i was like. Hm. these are very similar but have such wildly different moods -- Breath of the Serpent is much more like. ‘you’re going to be afraid of me’ while Full Confession is like ‘i’m afraid of you’ and i think that the different Vibes from these two soundtrack bits about important Null characters is just like. WOW and i wonder how a version of it that was purely Zero’s might be. would it be more triumphant? more flat? what desperation or emptiness is in there that could be drawn out by this melody??? i dont KNOW and i can’t write music unfortunately but im just like AAAAAAAAAA

i also rly wanna know what snow has going on ??? like. shes clearly important. she is a vital npc. but Why. she didnt even rly do anything except Show Up???

fuck V. all my homies hate V. the motorcycle fight was a lot of fun tho i rly liked that section even if my therapist was mad at me afterwards

also i think elizabeth/the little girl is rly cute and the fact zero was just like. ‘hm. well guess i have a daughter now’ so fast w/ her (at least, with the dialogue trees me n my pal kept going down) and im just. So Hoping we can rescue her in the dlc :( i miss her so much and im so like. worried abt that like pls give me back my daughter you dumbasses i cant even read ur dialogue without my brain being like ‘yeah these r just squiggly lines, boss. gl’ 

i also want to believe that the masked men arent real (bc idk, it’s just easier for me to process that they’re the result of chronos withdrawal) but the problem w/ that is like. they definitely kidnapped elizabeth, and i want so desperately to believe that elizabeth IS real n that zero genuinely wants to protect her (and by extension, the part of himself that is still human) 

ALSO THE PSYCHIATRIST i was just like. Okay. I Must Get A Good Grade In Therapy. n kept being nice n cooperative and helpful to this clown ass and then THAT ENDING ??? like i didnt even get the Bad Therapist Ending i was just like. fucka you! attacka you with a rock! (i do however want to try the therapist boss it sounds like a lot of fun) but i just. i hate him! he sucks! find a better therapist zero u rly need one im sorry for ur problems disorder :( like hes clearly a guy who just works for the government n wants 2 keep a leash on our man 

n the contradictions, hes like. yeah ur killing everyone related to chronos so it can no longer be produced ♥ but dw ur special we totally wont just withhold chronos from you as soon as u finish ur tasks dw about it ♥ and its like. Hm. I Dont Think Thats Right !!!! 

also i wanna learn more about what Juncture has going on??? what are they like. Doing besides poisoning water n making lighters ?????? it’s clearly a lot 

also the art for this game is just so GOOD,,, like. i didnt rly notice a lot of the backgrounds my first playthrough bc i was just losing my mind the whole time trying to solve each puzzle but the second playthrough im just like. AAAAA. and the soundtrack? effervescent. groundbreaking. perfect. So Good 

and the GAMEPLAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my GOD i was SO vibing with it, the difficulty curve was kinda extreme imo but as soon as i started like. Getting It? and started looking at each room less like combat/fighting and more like a puzzle that needed to be solved it made it so much easier 2 get into the headphase of ‘okay how do i clear this’ and it was just like. YOOOOOOOO

and zero is just a lot of fun 2 play as. legitimately everything about him is just so ridiculous. his dialogue options? ridiculous. his design? absurd. the implications that hes like. 22 and just having the worst 10 days of his life? mood, buddy. this guy likes samurai movies and card games and mushroom pizza and has worn the same outfit every single day for who knows how long and hes also a war veteran, an emotionless serial killer and a drug addict. and hes 22 and 5′10. literally NOTHING about those traits make sense together but here he is, just Vibing. 

i love him so much. im going to make a self insert oc that’s just giving him a friend who knows how to cook n is just like ‘oh wow, that’s rough buddy’ when hes like ‘i only feel alive when i kill people’ and conveniently knows how 2 get bloodstains out of things bc i think he needs that kind of person in his life since his like. therapist is conspiring against him n he keeps having 2 kill his friends 

also, unfortunately, i want to get every achievement, which i feel like is going to become hld....2!! where i get all but 1 of them and am stuck at 96% for 2+ years >:T

[ynkkoo-a]

            ♡◞  𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐨𝐨  𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬  𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒖  !

            not  at  me  repurposing  one  of  my  theme  graphics  bc  i’m  a  lil  lazy  babie  ,  but  !  since  i  jus  hit  another  follower  milestone  n  the  decade  is  comin  to  a  close  ,  i  jus  wanted  to  say  thank  u  to  all  my  mutuals  n  followers  n  such  who  rly  made  this  last  year  enjoyable  on  this  hellsite  !  2019  was  tough  on  a  lot  of  us  in  a  lot  of  ways  ,  but  we  all  did  it  ,  babyluvs  !  we  saw  it  out  to  the  end  n  hopefully  the  20′s  are  a  lot  prettier  for  us  all  !  p.s.  i’m  sorry  to  anyone  not  mentioned  !  i  hav  the  memory  n  attention  span  of  a  babie  fish  ,  but  i  luv  all  of  u  soso  so  much  n  u  rly  all  do  mean  the  absolute  world  to  me  !  ♡

            first  off  ,  jus’  a  quick  an  honourable  mention  to  all  of  my  nonnies  of  the  year  ,  wherever  u  babies  are  now  !  in  particular  ,  my  cherry  nonnie  ,  my  jk  anon  (  @jminacious​​  )  ,  my  boo  ,  my  strawberry  nonnie  ,  n  my  grades  anon  !  n  anyone  else  who  has  sent  me  sweet  nonnies  ,  these  r  jus  the  recurring  ones  of  the  year  heh  !  u  sweet  nonnies  own  my  heart  n  truly  made  this  blog  such  a  lovely  n  pretty  n  positive  experience  for  me  ,  n  i  cannot  properly  express  w  words  how  much  all  of  ur  sweet  mssgs  meant  n  mean  to  me  always  !  ^♡^

            starting  off  w  the  mutuals  i  literally  never  speak  to  ,  bc  of  my  shy  babie  antics  ,  but  who  i  admire  from  afar  so  much  !  ur  all  soso  talented  ,  jus  all  around  beautiful  souls  who  deserve  the  prettiest  days  .  pleathe  feel  free  to  come  talk  to  me  ,  i’ll  luv  u  down  w  my  whole  heart  since  i’m  practically  ur  secret  admirer  anyway  .

@miyanez , @kimseokjvn , @rmsrpt , @capitae , @chunghart , @aronpiper , @jinjeongguks , @yukhciz , @cjdoesrpt , @pocmuzings ,  @chuuiez , @leeieno , @igorrpt , @luvgifs , @joonkookies , @drunkblushed , @savta , @frcylan , @jinsoouls  !

            now  ,  to  give  all  my  luv  to  those  who  literally  . . .  hav  my  heart  .  we  haven’t  talked  much  ,  again  bc  i’m  a  shy  babie  ,  tho  sum  of  us  hav  jus  recently  been  talking  more  which  makes  me  very  sparkly  ,  but  !  we  exchange  ims  here  or  there  ,  send  an  ask  or  two  ,  reply  to  n  like  each  other’s  posts  ,  support  each  other’s  content  ---  u  know  ,  we’re  cute  mutuals  !  the  ‘  will  they  ,  won’t  they  ‘  mutuals  !  for  realsies  ,  tho  ,  ur  all  so  talented  ,  whether  it  be  in  making  gifs  or  themes  or  graphics  or  writing  or  whatever  !  ur  talent  astounds  me  n  i  am  beyond  in  luv  w  u  !

@sprfluous , @chanheez , @loonarz , @jungjnsoul , @yeriimss , @hotjoong , @hiqey , @tcehyvng , @kvinabstract , @stcinfelds , @kermitgrinch , @mcninas , @doyyeon , @jminssii , @jiminslolli , @raihelps , @svnflxwer , @softcarpenters  !

            n  now  for  honourable  mentions  !  the  few  ppl  on  this  site  who  my  shy  babie  antics  did  not  keep  me  from  talking  to  n  becoming  friends  w  .  these  are  the  literal  luvs  of  my  life  !  our  ships  are  literally  *chefs  kiss*  ,  i  feel  comfy  cryin’  n  rantin’  to  u  guys  without  worryin  abt  being  annoying  n  i  hope  the  feelin’  is  mutual  ,  i  don’t  feel  even  an  ounce  of  anxiety  when  talkin’  to  u  guys  which  is  such  a  major  thing  for  me  ?  i  consider  u  guys  my  friends  sm  n  our  friendship  literally  means  the  world  to  me  .  ur  soso  talented  in  so  many  ways  n  u  hav  the  loveliest  hearts  ,  n  i’m  so  honoured  to  be  able  to  be  ur  friend  n  to  write  w  u  all  !  

            p.s.  there’s  cute  lil  mssgs  for  each  of  u  under  the  cut  !

@pointlcss , @ultraviclets , @musetories , @briingmetolifc , @heartvfire  !

♡◞  @pointlcss  !

                    alli  !  ♡  i  am  literally  so  happy  that  u  happened  upon  my  lil  1x1  post  a  couple  months  back  n  decided  to  mssg  me  abt  threading  bc  our  cute  lil  starstruck  plot  turned  into  a  friendship  that  i  am  soso  so  thankful  for  ?  there  is  not  anyone  that  i  wld  hav  rather  gone  thru  it  over  jungoo’s  long  hair  ,  tattoos  ,  n  haircut  w  .  that  one  pic  of  jjk  from  season’s  greetings  as  our  matching  discord  icons  . . .  stayin’  up  to  yell  abt  stray  kids’  n  txt’s  comebacks  . . .  i  literally  luv  this  for  us  ?  ur  soso  talented  n  making  gifsets  n  writing  ,  n  i’m  so  happy  i  cld  make  this  last  year  a  lil  bit  special  for  u  ,  bc  u’ve  made  this  year  such  a  special  n  pretty  one  for  me  too  !  i  can’t  wait  to  see  where  our  cute  lil  plot  n  ship  takes  n  i  hope  the  year  has  even  more  luvly  things  in  store  for  us  !  i  luv  n  adore  u  soso  so  much  .  u  rly  are  the  sweetest  soul  out  there  n  i’m  so  happy  to  consider  u  a  friend  !  also  thank  u  for  jus’  now  informing  me  abt  bts’  2020  tour  i  owe  u  my  lifeKSHDKJ  ♡

♡◞  @ultraviclets  !

                    ness  !  ♡  literally  . . .  the  luv  of  my  life  ,  perhaps  ?  i  remember  following  u  when  u  published  ur  first  theme  ,  bc  i  was  jus  like  .  wowow  wubbzy  ?  this  is  beautiful  n  free  n  i’m  broke  n  u  hav  my  heart  ?  n  u  know  ,  for  a  while  we  were  sort  of  will  they  ,  won’t  they  mutuals  ,  too  ,  which  was  cute  for  us  ,  but  i  think  we  actually  started  talking  when  we  were  both  in  abroad  ?  n  then  u  mssged  me  later  on  to  lmk  that  jjk  was  open  in  ur  rp  if  i  wanted  to  join  n  it  made  me  so  absolutely  soft  ???  like  .  ik  it  was  jus  a  lil  thing  but  u  captured  my  whole  HEART  in  that  moment  ?  n  now  ur  genuinely  sumone  that  i  trust  so  much  ,  like  .  the  other  day  when  u  let  me  rant  to  u  a  lil  bit  abt  smth  kinda  silly  ,  rly  ,  it  jus  meant  the  world  to  me  ?  n  u  mean  the  world  to  me  n  !!!  writing  w  u  is  absolutely  wonderful  always  n  our  current  ship  is  *chefs  kiss*  even  tho  i  hav  yet  to  reply  to  our  thread  again  BUT  !!!  i  will  do  it  ,  i  pinky  promise  ,  i’m  sorry  i’m  the  worst  .  u  deserve  the  whole  wide  world  .  ur  talented  beyond  belief  ,  ur  such  a  blessing  to  the  rpc  n  this  hellsite  as  a  whole  ,  n  i  adore  n  am  soso  so  thankful  for  our  luvly  lil  friendship  every  time  we  talk  .  u  truly  hav  made  this  icky  year  a  lot  less  icky  !  u  hav  my  whole  heart  !  ♡

♡◞  @musetories  !

                    sarah  !  ♡  u’ve  genuinely  been  one  of  my  best  friends  for  four  years  +  one  month  now  n  like  ?  wowow  wubbzy  ?  that’s  such  a  long  time  !  from  the  rp  that  shall  not  be  named  to  lit  rally  whatever  tf  we’re  doin  rn  .  u  were  the  first  person  i  ever  rly  shipped  w  on  this  hellsite  ,  even  tho  i  was  a  whole  babie  n  my  writing  was  godforsaken  at  the  time  .  n  now  we  lit  rally  hav  so  many  ships  up  our  sleeves  that  i  can’t  even  name  them  all  ,  but  i  luv  each  n  every  one  of  them  soso  so  much  ?  sum  of  them  are  so  iconic  that  they’re  jus’  eternal  now  (  we’re  rly  ALWAYS  on  our  eli  &  zazzy  bullshit  )  n  i  kind  of  adore  that  for  us  ?  we’ve  spent  so  many  our  jus’  stayin  up  into  the  night  /  morning  writing  novels  in  my  dms  ,  n  those  are  genuinely  sum  of  my  fondest  rp  memories  ?  we  don’t  rly  talk  quite  as  much  anymore  ,  but  that’s  okay  n  it  happens  !  we’ve  had  sum  ups  n  downs  ,  but  i’m  genuinely  soso  so  thankful  for  ur  friendship  these  last  four  years  n  here’s  to  four  more  heh  !  n  also  u  got  my  into  bts  so  i  owe  u  my  lifeKJSHKD  ♡

♡◞  @briingmetolifc  !

                    mozzie  !  ♡  wowow  wubbzy  ,  i  cld  genuinely  write  a  novel  abt  u  ?  we’ve  been  friends  for  practically  four  years  now  ,  too  ,  n  to  think  it  all  started  w  our  one  lil  ship  in  the  rp  that  shall  not  be  named  !  i  can  actually  n  genuinely  jus  talk  to  u  abt  anything  ?  whether  it  be  our  ships  ,  a  random  plot  i  wanna  write  ,  the  political  state  of  our  country  ,  how  fucked  ap  classes  are  ,  mister  jungoo  himself  ,  whatever  issues  i’m  having  w  sumone  that  i  need  to  get  off  my  chest  ---  there’s  literally  no  limit  or  bounds  to  what  we  can  talk  to  n  it’s  so  nice  ?  like  .  i  genuinely  trust  u  so  much  ?  u’ve  always  jus  kinda  been  That  Person  who  i  know  i  can  trust  w  anything  ,  who  i  never  felt  wld  judge  me  ?  like  i  can  jus  tell  u  anythin  ,  i  trust  u  so  much  .  ur  genuinely  one  of  my  best  friends  ,  even  when  ur  tryin  to  fight  my  babie  or  we’re  both  bein’  bratty  n  silent  treatmenting  each  other  or  ur  bein  a  stubborn  lil  babie  n  won’t  let  me  do  ur  theme  for  u  even  tho  !!!  i  luv  doing  ur  themes  !  but  it’s  okay  bc  u  hav  my  heart  ,  n  i  genuinely  ???  wld  be  such  a  different  person  w/o  u  in  my  life  for  the  past  four  years  i’m  sure  ?  n  also  ur  such  an  amazing  writer  ,  ur  muses  are  so  unique  n  ur  writing  is  so  fluid  n  ???  god  !!!  everythin  abt  u  is  smth  that  i  adore  .  pleathe  come  to  california  n  be  my  first  kissie  . . .  i  luv  u  !  ♡

♡◞  @heartvfire​  !

                    kacchan  !  ♡  oh  my  god  ???  where  in  the  world  do  i  even  BEGIN  ???  ur  genuinely  one  of  the  most  important  ppl  in  my  life  .  i  met  u  first  when  i  was  a  literal  fckin  babie  in  the  rp  that  shall  not  be  named  a  whole  four  years  ago  now  ,  n  like  .  we  didn’t  talk  a  ton  at  first  ,  but  u  were  never  weird  or  condescending  bc  i  was  young  ?  like  ,  we  eventually  did  start  talking  n  i’m  soso  like  ???  happy  that  we  got  close  ?  like  .  since  day  one  ,  i’ve  looked  up  to  ur  writing  n  u  as  a  person  ?  ur  characters  were  always  so  insanely  creative  and  unique  and  ur  writing  was  so  fluid  n  beautiful  n  just  ?  u  were  literal  goals  to  lil  14yr  old  kookoo  .  n  even  now  ,  whenever  i  do  a  reply  to  u  ,  i  will  literally  write  n  rewrite  it  five  times  over  before  posting  it  bc  i  want  to  make  sure  it’s  as  good  as  urs  is  !  like  !!!  god  ur  so  talented  !  n  like  .  especially  as  of  late  ,  we’ve  jus  gotten  super  close  ?  n  like  .  i’m  genuinely  so  happy  abt  it  ???  our  friendship  is  genuinely  a  WHOLE  blessing  in  my  life  ,  like  .  ik  i  can  talk  to  u  abt  anything  n  u  can  talk  to  me  abt  anything  n  we’ll  meet  eachother  w  the  same  amount  of  enthusiasm  ?  we  can  vent  to  each  other  n  completely  understand  n  empathise  n  talk  things  out  so  we  feel  better  n  it’s  jus  ???  we  jus’  get  each  other  ??  so  nice  .  thank  u  for  listening  to  me  when  i’m  anxious  or  sad  ,  n  for  not  thinkin  ill  of  me  when  i’m  bein  a  brat  ,  even  when  it’s  for  silly  reasons  ,  n  for  listenin  to  n  not  judging  me  when  i  talk  abt  jungoo  n  bts  ,  even  tho  i  talk  to  them  a  lot  n  ik  i  can  be  a  bit  much  sumtimes  .  like  ,  genuinely  ?  i’m  abt  to  start  crying  rn  ,  i’m  so  thankful  for  u  .  u’ve  helped  shape  me  so  much  as  a  person  .  helped  me  grow  as  a  writer  .  i  met  u  at  one  of  the  worst  n  most  important  ages  of  my  life  n  u’ve  impacted  my  life  such  an  insane  amount  ???  u’ve  always  been  the  first  person  to  talk  to  n  comfort  me  when  things  go  to  shit  n  i  truly  cannot  express  how  much  that  has  always  meant  to  me  .  i  genuinely  think  i  wld  be  a  bit  of  a  different  person  n  not  as  confident  in  my  writing  if  i  didn’t  hav  u  to  look  up  to  for  these  past  four  years  .  i  trust  u  so  much  n  i  luv  u  soso  so  much  !  n  i  am  going  to  reply  to  the  dm  u  sent  me  properly  ,  i  jus  need  2  formulate  my  thoughts  properly  first  ,  so  pleathe  hav  this  for  now  !  u  literally  hav  my  whole  HEART  !!!  ♡

[delcakoo]

HEY KOOBEAR IM SO SORRY I HAVENT BEEN TALKING TO YOU THE OAST 3 DAYS :((( I missed you sm 💗💗💗☹️☹️☹️😘😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍

we….. FINALLY MOVED IN!! I HAVE MY OWN BEDROOM!! We didn’t decorate it yet, I have a futon for a bed lol we’re waiting until prime day and thanksgiving for the deals. Saving money isn’t a habit it’s a LIFESTYLE 🥵 but I didn’t have internet for 3 days I was absolutely gonna go feral. I couldn’t listen to enha for so long I started hearing d-d intro randomly 😟😟 but whateva. I have a google mini and it serves as a scrumptious head banging jump upping move yo body speaker quality and I have drunk dazed playing on rn. BEST TITTLE TRACK FIGHT ME 🫵🫵👊👊💪💪🤬🤬💥💥‼️‼️

But like right tomorrow we’re leaving for India so I can’t talk to you for a month :(((( I’ll miss ur writings sm

Also my friend invited me to her awesome epic ass Halloween party BUT I CANT GO. SOBBING OSMBDJSND. HER PARTIES ARE ALWAYS SO FUN AND I LOVE DRESSING UP.

Also the new concert has me raving curling my toes punching the wall stabbing my gut crying tears head aching like I’m actually sad. THEM SINGING SHOUT OUT MY COMFORT SONG. Playing I need the light and shout out on my loud ass speaker rn it just feels right

But on the bright side she has a thanksgiving party, Christmas party OMG CHRISTMAS. AOMANDKW LYES, YES YES. THAT INE KPOP COVER OF ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMASS BLESSING FOR MY EARS OMFG. BLASTING THAT SHIT ATTEH CHRISTMASS PARTY OMGMGMGMG

Also an Amazon india you can get so much makeup for cheap it’s like 😲😲😫😫😡😡🫵🫵 GIVE RIGHT NKW DKAMDKWMD a lip tint for 44 dollars here is like 13 ish dollars on Amazon India like dayum 😱😱🤭🤭 also not to brag but I got 3 properties of dirt soil and brick in my name in India 🤩🤩 a house, an apartment complex, and a mansion mhmhmnmjm when I literally came from the womb I was gifted with gold. Ain’t ever accepting no less from a partner. My standards are sky high so either be anyone from enhypen or treat me like a queen or just don’t bother. I say all this acting like I’d pull anyone 😍😍‼️‼️💪💪

Speaking of pulling people my hot ass cute ass pretty ass scrumptious ass friend didn’t :(((( she liked some guy who wears highlighter shirts (get rid of them 4eva) and he was kinda ugly ngl but my queen deserves better idc he just wasn’t the one. But basically I had gym and then German after and I saw my queen in the hallways and she was like “WAIT HES IN UR GYM?!” And I said “yeah and in my German tew” and she was like “PLSPLSPLSPLSLKSOLSLS ASK HIM IF HE LIKES ANYBODH BE DISCREET ABT IT” and I was gonna ask him bc me and my friend were walking and he and some guy (NAMED JAY 😱😱😟😟🥺🥺) were walking and jay was like “yo are (kuma’s queen) and you going to the Halloween dance” and he was like “nah bro” and jay was like “well (kuma’s queen) likes you imagine” and I was just quietly listening to them talk ish abt her and it broke my heart :( BUT TLEAST WE KNOW HE AINT IT MY QUEEN DESERVES HER KING FRL if he ain’t taking her out I will she deserves the world omg

Sorry for so many paragraphs I would’ve cut this inbetween 3 days but no internet ☹️ HYD MLOVE MDEAR MDARLING I HOPE UR HAVING A GOOD DAY BBG 😘😘💗💗‼️‼️😍😍

AHHHHH KUMIE WUMIE HIHIHI MY LOVE, I MISSED U SM TOO :((((

WTF WTF WTFTWTETFTWR KUMA I LITERALLY FINISHED WRITING THE ENHA WHEN YOU’RE ON YOUR PERIOD THAT YOU REQUESTED HOLD ONNNN AHAISN. OKAY YKNOW WHAY IM GONNA POST IT IN A FEW MINUTES SO YOU CAN READ IT BECAUSE IT WAS LITERALLY FOR YOU and plus im on my period rn it sucks GRAHHHH OKAY JUST WAIT

AJSJSHKDNDH IM SO HAPGY FOR YOU, THATS A SHAME YOU HAVE TO WAIT TO DECORSTE BUT ITLL BE WORTH IT!! AND SO TRUE DRUNK DAZED IS THE BEDT TITLE TRACK I’LL FIGHT WITH HOU 🔥🔥‼️‼️✊✊✊

DONT SPEAK TO ME AB THE CPNCERT OKAY. IM STILL MOURNING AND SCREAMING AND PRETENDING IT DIDNT HAPPEN ❤️

DAMN WTF WHY DOED UR FRIEND HAVE SO MANY PARTIES 😭 THATD GOOD U CAN ATTEND THE OTHER ONES AND OMFG YOU KNOW THAT COVER????? BRO 100% AGREE ITS A LITERAL EARGASM WENDYS VOICE IS INSANE, AND BANGCHANS HARMONY HAD ME CRYINGJGNG I LISTEN TO THAT COVER RELIGIOUSLG I WISH IT WAS ON SPOTIFY 😭😭😭✊✊

DAMN WTF.. I WANNA GO NOW GIRL GET A SHIT TON OF STUFF AND MAKE SURE TO DO A HAUL FOR ME OKAY ‼️‼️‼️

UM YES YOURF RIEND DESERVES BETTER.. NOT THE HIGHLIGHTER SHIRT 🧍 AND OMG JAY?? jaY ENHYPEN GOES TO UR SCHOOL REAL?? 👁👁

EDIT: I JUST REALISED I READ THIS A DAY LATE AND NOW UR IN INDIA 😭😭😭 IM SOBBING IM CRYJGNFH IM SO SORRY KUMA NOOO MY LOVE, OKAY I’LL POST IT RN ANYWAY IN UR HONOR 😭😭😭😭💖💖💖❤️💖❤️💖❤️

[maiverie]

In response to these (just in case ur confuzzled lol,, I didn't wanna make a longgg string of replies under one post)

BUT YESSS!!! HEESEUNG IS SO??#&@&&#?? GOD HE IS SO GORGEOUS😭😭😭WHEN I SAW THE PICTURE I CHANGED MY LAYOUT IMMEDIATELY IT HAD TO BE DONE😍

And nursing?? Omg that's so hot of you mai👁️👄👁️ And lol it IS sort of surprising but in a good way!! You just seem so chaotic and fun but you also seem really kind so I think you'll make a good nurse!! Tbh I would've gone into nursing but personality wise I'm just not built for it. I think I'm too sensitive for that line of work :')

And yeah!! Plz I'm genz but I didn't know what the hell was going on with smaus when I first got on here💀 I knew they did something sort of like it on Twitter but like I didn't know they were a THING thing until I came here. BUT LOL LOOK AT ME NOW THO😭😭😭😭BUSY WITH ONE AS WE SPEAK!! Tbh they're very fun to read but also a LOT of work to make!! like a LOT,, so I commend everyone who has ever made or worked on one👏

But also,, written fics😩 we barely have any but lemme tell you we came a long way because when I first came here I could barely find any. most of the written works were headcannons and imagines,, but I see lots of writers are branching out and doing written fics and one shots which is very cool of them🤩🤩🤩 smaus are in their popular era so I think a lot of writers are fascinated with trying to make one ( me included) but I feel genuinely bad sometimes because there are many writers on here writing full length fics and barely getting engagement because people aren't that interested in reading long pieces. I hope it doesnt discourage them tho,, even tho they might feel that way. Also, with tumblrs shitty algorithm. It's hard to gain exposure because people prefer to like rather than reblog. And like,, if you don't get a lot of notes within say, they first day or two or very hard for people to find them and read them unless others reblog it onto their dash

(sorry for typos💀)

HI TAYYYY SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY 😭 BEEN SO BUSY W THE EXAM PREP AND ALL <3 hope u've been well tho and omfg its the weekend soon YESSS THANK GODD

HI TAYYYY SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY 😭 BEEN SO BUSY W THE EXAM PREP AND ALL <3 hope u've been well tho and omfg its the weekend soon YESSS THANK GODD eTS HORRIBLE BAHAHHA jkjk im just a lazy bitch ;-; but omg thank u so much?! and heh id love to hear what kind of career youre hoping to get into w ur degree and all?! TELL ME EVERYTHINGGG YES EXACTLYYYYY SAME??? AND YUS OMG i heard about it first becoming a thing after a bts smau became rlly popular on twt or smth...??? but i rlly did not know how much of an impact they had here on engene tumblr 😳 ITS WILDDD AND YES TAY PLS I WOULD LOVE TO READ UR SMAU AND ME TOO I WANNA WRITE ONE SO BAD RN 😩 and frfr i know they look easy but i bet im gna regret it the moment i start writing one KJSDFJDS WRITTEN FICS ARE SOO GOODDD 😭 coming FROM A PERSON WHO CAN'T VISUALISE FOR SHIT,,,, I LOVE WRITTEN FICS?? LIKE... U CAN LITERALLY PLAY W THE WORDS AND W METAPHORS AND IMAGERY AND EVERYTHING U LTRLY CANT GET THIS FROM SMAUS!!! GOD TIER!!! ONLY HOT PEOPLE READ WRITTEN FICS!!! JK im just sad cos i feel like written fics r slowly dying and im sad ;-; BUT YES EXACTLYYY it makes me kinda sad to think that too even tho i rlly love reading smaus? i totally understand the appeal bc its just sm easier/quicker to read plus THEYRE LITERALLY SO FUNNY I CANT SKDKS but yeah even as a written fic writer myself every now and then i'll wonder if anyone is even gna be interested in stuff in the future ;-;

YESSS TUMBLR'S ALGORITHM TOO 😩 icb they don't account for likes...??? sounds so dumb to me 😭

PLS NAUR ICB U DEAL W ME TEXTING COS WE ALL BEEN KNEW THAT IM LEGIT HTE WORST AT TEXTING PROPERLY,,,,, TOO CHAOTIC HELP