#alright look. am I happy with this? no. but am I done looking at it? yeah
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hey so can I have Kurt x reader where neither has said I love you yet and they’re just spending time together, enjoying each other’s company and s/o actually springs on him “I love you” in german? He never taught s/o that.
~Sweet How The Words Slip~
Pairing: Nightcrawler x Reader
Word Count: 1.4k
Warnings: not a single one this is so cute
Genre: fluff
Summary: As it turns out, you're in love with your boyfriend, and now you have to tell him.
A/N: Thank you for each and every one of your requests <3
***
Jean and Storm are sitting on your bed while you clean your bedroom. You'd asked them to sit with you so you could actually get some stuff done.
"We're happy to be here while you do your chores or whatever but you have to spill." Jean says.
"Spill what?" You ask.
"I think she's talking about you and Wagner." Storm chuckles.
"Of course I am. They spend so much time together I'm surprised he's not hiding in her closet right now. I was starting to think we'd have to surgically remove him to ever get her alone again." Jean says and even though you're not looking at your you can feel her eyes roll.
"Surgically remove him?" You scoff out a laugh as you toss an old dress you never wear hiding in the back of your closet.
"Well yeah he never leaves you alone." She says.
"Alright don't talk about him like a pest he's- welcome. He 'never leaves me alone' because I don't want him to. I enjoy being around him as much as I assume he enjoys being around me." You shrug.
"Ah the honeymoon phase. Everything is sweet and perfect and the world revolves around nothing but your love." Storm teases.
"I didn't say any of that?" You frown.
"Everything isn't sweet and perfect?" She asks flatly.
"Well not perfect! Kurt is incredibly sweet so that's not really relationship specific but we're not perfect!"
"Girl who are you tryna fool?" Storm scoffs.
"It's fine if things are perfect. You're still so fresh I find it hard to believe you're already fighting." Jean says.
"We're not fighting." You shake your head.
"Of course you're not. He's obsessed with you." Storm says.
"Obsessed is a stretch I feel like." You say.
"It's not. He looks at you like you put the stars in the sky." Jean smiles.
"You guys are being ridiculous."
"So you're telling me he's not already planning the rest of your lives together?" Storm asks.
"Don't... get ahead of yourself Storm we've only been partners for a few months now." You say.
"We know it's on the horizon." Storm says.
"Yeah he's already made it clear how head over heels in love with you he is." Jean says.
"Girl what are you talking about?" You shake your head.
"What?" Her eyes widen. Even Storm shifts, sitting up in her surprise.
"What?" You ask
"The guy's been into you almost as long as he's been an X-man and you're telling us he hasn't said 'I love you' yet?" Jean gasps.
"Why are you freaking out? We haven't been seeing each other that long."
"It took him less than 6 weeks to make you his girlfriend after he finally asked you out, he had a crush on you for years before that and you don't think it's I dunno surprising that he's not said 'I love you' already?" Jean asks.
"No, I don't find it surprising. He's probably trying not to freak me out."
"What?" Storm asks.
"I dunno I'm sure he's getting advice from Logan or Scott and they probably told him it'd be unhinged to say I love you in the first 30 days of a relationship and now he's paranoid about saying it too soon. What if I don't say it back?"
"Would you?" Jean asks.
"Would I what?" You ask.
"If Kurt came in here and said 'I love you' would you say it back?" She clarifies.
"Yeah I think I would." You nod.
"You think?" Storm asks.
"Well I've never really vocalized it, but since you've asked and I'm actually considering it saying it back feels right."
"You gonna let him know that?" She chuckles.
"Sure! At some point, but it's not like he doesn't already know I care about him." You shrug.
"But that's not always the same thing." Jean shakes her head.
"What?" You frown.
"It's very squares rectangles. Of course you care about the people you love but you can care about people without loving them too. Especially as a superhero, you care about most people, but you don't love all of them. You love him, and caring about him is nice but he'd be foolish to assume that it implies the other thing here." Storm says.
"You have to tell him how you feel, it's important that he knows how deeply you feel because I'm sure he's probably terrified he likes you more than you like him and that's-"
"Okay Jean stop. I get your point. I'll tell him that I love him just- chill out."
"Chill out?! You just realized you love your boyfriend and you weren't even going to tell him."
"Okay well in my defense if we hadn't had this conversation I probably wouldn't have had that realization today so- there'd be nothing to tell for a while maybe." You say.
"But now there is something to tell!"
"I know, I know! I'm gonna tell him, calm down."
"You better or else."
"I get it, you're invested, no need to threaten me." You scoff.
There's a knock on your door that pulls all of your attention to it.
"Come in!" You say.
"Hello liebling- oh are you busy? I didn't know Storm and Jean were here." Kurt smiles peaking his head through your door.
"Not busy! I was just cleaning and the girls are here to help me stay on task." You smile at him.
"Are we still on for movie night later?" Kurt asks.
"Of course. Did you pick a film yet?"
"I did. I hope you like the choice."
"I will. Anything's great if we're watching it together." You say.
"Agreed. Snacks?"
"I'm on it. See you in a few hours."
"Can't wait." Kurt says and slips back out.
"Wow that was so freaking cute!" Jean gushes.
"Oh man I almost said it just then." You gasp.
"What?" Storm asks.
"Just then, before he left? I wanted to say 'I love you', had to catch myself."
"Awwwww! Ugh I'm so jealous." Jean sighs.
"Wow, you really are just so into each other." Storm muses.
"Yeah, I guess."
"It's cute, don't get all shy now." Storm smiles.
"I will kick y'all out if you don't quit it."
"Fine, fine. We'll stop." Jean throws her hands up in surrender.
"Thank you. Sheesh." You shake your head.
You spend another couple of hours on your chores, talking about any and everything, besides your relationship with Kurt. Eventually though, you do need to meet him for movie night so you shoo your friends out.
Something you've been doing passively and in secret is learning German. When Kurt talks to himself it's always in German and while he's never expressed that he struggles with English, he's clearly more comfortable in the former. You figure you could kill two birds with one stone here, confess your love for him and surprise him with a bit of your new skill.
The movie Kurt picked is one you've seen before, but he seemed so excited to see it that you wouldn't tell him that. Plus you like the movie, so you don't mind watching it again. You're nearing the end of the film and part of you is getting a bit nervous. You told yourself you'd confess tonight because you can't imagine holding onto this information. I mean, you knew for 5 minutes and you almost told him. You are not equipped to keep this a secret from him.
"Wow- that was such a good movie! Did you enjoy it?" Kurt asks looking at you.
"It's a great movie. I really liked it." You nod.
"We should watch another. Do you have one that you'd like to watch? Or rewatch maybe?"
"Kurt?"
"Yes liebling?" Kurt's eyes widen, he's giving you his full attention. You bring a hand up to his face, cupping his cheek as you look at him just as intensely as he's looking at you.
"Ich liebe dich." You say. "You love me?" He whispers. "I do." You nod, smiling at him softly. Kurt jolts back, blinking wildly. "Wait sorry I don't think I heard you correctly. Did you say that in-"
"Ich liebe dich." You repeat. Kurt lets out a soft sound as the disbelief on his face melts into a smile. His eyes are so gentle, so full of emotion that they're glistening, it's almost cartoonish and under different circumstances you might've giggled.
"You- you learned to say it in German?" Kurt sounds so light, just barely above a whisper.
"Ich unterrichte es selbst." You say just as softly back. You're teaching yourself. That's what you told him.
"I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?" Kurt smiles.
"I wanted to surprise you." You tell him.
"Oh I'm surprised alright." He chuckles.
"I love you." You say grinning.
"I love you too." He says back and you gasp.
"You do?" You were fully prepared to not hear it back tonight.
"Of course, more than anything."
"I'm really happy." You practically sigh.
"As am I." Kurt wraps his arms around you tightly and there's literally nowhere else you'd rather be than here.
***
#marvel#marvel fanfiction#xmen#xmen nightcrawler#nightcrawler fluff#nightcrawler x reader#nightcrawler#kurt wagner x reader#kurt wagner
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Safe Haven | Kim Seokjin
Summary: Based on this post by @foryoufics (She also did her version with Jimin, you can read it in this link <3). Warnings: I guess we can say it's a bit angsty, but it also has fluff! Jin is a sweetheart and tries to comfort his wife because he can't stand to see the love of his life sad. Pairing: Fem!reader x Kim Seokjin Word count: 2.3k Permanent Taglist: @thunderg @minjianhyung @queenv1997 @yoongtism @lizzymizzy-blogg @superbbananananana @drpepperobsessed @themwordsblog @taekritimin123 @bluecloudss @yooglefics @tan-veee @angellekookie @madussthoughts Dividers by @kodaswrld
This day had been more exhausting than any other. You were used to carrying the weight of everything, filling your mind with questions generated by your anxiety that made you overthink everything over and over again: Am I enough? Am I trying too hard? What have I done wrong? Those, and hundreds of other questions, made your insecurity take over every corner of your mind.
And honestly, you were so tired of it all.
“Y/N…” your father murmured behind you, watching you as your attention remained focused on the oven in front of you. You had spent the last few weeks going back and forth from your house to your father’s café, trying to do everything you could to help him, to be useful, all in hopes that someone, anyone, would notice your efforts.
Customers love this kind of stuff, right? Cakes make people happy, you wanted to make people happy with your work, was that too much to ask?
“I just put the muffins in the oven, so we can’t take them out yet. Should I start making the cookie dough? Mom said they’ve been selling the most these past few days.”
“Y/N, stop.” You felt your father’s hands land firmly on your shoulders, forcing you to shift your focus towards him. You could see it in his face, that look everyone had been giving you these past few days: pity, sadness. You really hated it. “I really appreciate that you want to help, and I’ve enjoyed having you back after all this time apart, but I think it’s time for you to… go home.”
“What do you mean?” you whispered, feeling your heart shrink in your chest at his request. Were you bothering your father now? Were you not being helpful to him either? Had you become a second choice for him as well?
“You’ve been coming here for weeks, working nonstop, we barely have time for ourselves…” He paused before continuing, his eyes, although hesitant, stayed locked on yours. “You barely have time for yourself. You’re still so young, you have a life out there, a husband, friends… You shouldn’t be wasting your time with your parents. We’ve lived a whole life with you, it’s time for you to start living yours, sweetheart.”
Ah.
You wanted to cry again.
How could you explain to your father that he was wrong about most things?
You had no friends, at least not any who cared in the same way you cared for them. You felt like your life was crumbling little by little, like you had built a house of bricks that you kept demolishing because one of them didn’t fit with the others. And your husband… Ah, Jin, your dear husband.
Thinking about him brought you a little peace. For a second, you felt the pressure in your chest become a little more bearable; Jin loved you, he always had, he was one of the few people who always put you first. You were always his first choice, even when dozens of women were in love with him. He was always there for you when your mind played tricks on you, and he was always patient with you, even when you couldn’t be with yourself.
You loved Jin, and he loved you, and that gave you a deep peace amidst the storm that was your mind.
“I’ve called him to come pick you up, he should be here soon,” your father’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and you quickly refocused on him as he came closer to place a soft kiss on your forehead. “Go home and rest for a bit, okay?”
You let out a soft sigh, one that sounded just like how you felt: exhausted. “Alright… thank you.”
Your eyes began to sting the moment his arms enveloped you in a warm hug. This was exactly why you came here. The warmth of home, the security your parents gave you, the fact that no matter what happened, you would always be their daughter, someone irreplaceable, someone they would always love.
You squeezed your father’s sturdy body against yours, using all your strength, holding onto his shirt as if you were that little girl again who would come crying to her parents’ room after a nightmare, needing the comfort of the only people who could protect her from the horrors of the outside world.
The soft ringing of a bell followed by the sound of the door closing caught your attention. You barely peeked your face from your father’s neck, just enough to see who it was. You almost let out a sob when you saw Jin standing in the doorway, looking like he had just run a marathon.
Had he really come here running just to pick you up?
“Sorry for the delay, traffic was crazy,” he let out a laugh, not the usual one that made everyone around him laugh, but one more nervous, as if he wanted to lighten the mood with a poor attempt at humor. “Uh… are you ready to go or…?”
“No, no, I’m… I’m ready,” you murmured, letting go of your father’s shirt and saying goodbye with a barely perceptible smile. “Goodbye, Dad, see you later,” you gently patted his shoulders, a small part of you still refusing to let him go completely, maybe that inner child that still lived within you, needing the shelter of your parents. On the other hand, the more mature side of you, the one that governed most of you, knew you couldn’t stay here baking cakes and cookies forever.
So, you let him go.
“Let’s go,” you said quietly to Jin, walking straight to the door to leave the place. The suffocating feeling was hard to shake off, even when you were outdoors, and the slight pressure in your chest was becoming more unbearable. You had barely stepped outside, and already felt like you were about to crumble.
“Sweetheart,” Jin’s voice sounded far away to you, was it your imagination? Had you walked too far? Had your thoughts become so loud that even the voices of real people now seemed muffled and lifeless? “Why don’t we sit down for a second?”
You didn’t respond before his hands took yours and guided you to a small bench in the park just a few meters from your parents’ café. When had you walked so far?
His soft hands gently held yours as he helped you sit down on the bench. Your tumultuous and overwhelming thoughts, although still present, seemed to shrink into a small corner of your mind, allowing you to return to the real world. Allowing you to see Jin.
His dark brown eyes watched your face with attention, and one of his hands had risen to your cheek without you noticing. His touch made you melt into him the moment your brain fully processed what he was doing. It felt good to have him close.
“I’m not going to pressure you or anything, because I don’t want your little head playing against you more than it already has, so I’ll ask you this question, and if you don’t want to answer it, then we’ll just go on as if nothing happened until the moment you’re ready, okay?” A small smile appeared on his plump lips when he saw you nodding quietly. Well, at least you were listening, that was progress. “Can you tell me why you’re like this?”
“I… I don’t know,” you whispered with a broken voice. You hated that question, hated the answer, and hated how the urge to cry began to flood you again to the point where even breathing became hard, like the pain in your chest grew stronger, and how you couldn’t see clearly due to the salty water beginning to form in your eyes.
You hated feeling like this.
“Are you sure?” Jin asked, tilting his head slightly so he wouldn’t lose eye contact with you. It was only then, when you saw the worry in his face, that you broke down.
Finally, you let everything you had inside pour out in the form of a messy cry, cheeks filled with tears and soft gasps hidden between sobs that made it hard to speak normally. The only comfort you had were Jin’s strong and warm arms wrapped around your body protectively, trying to calm your sadness with sweet words, soft kisses on your shoulder, and caresses on your back.
You were a walking mess right now, yes, but, for some reason, it felt comforting. Crying on the shoulder of one of the most important people to you, letting out the pain that had been in your chest… it felt liberating.
“It’s okay… everything will be okay,” he whispered beside your ear, using one of his hands to stroke your hair. You could feel his head resting against yours and his hands holding you tightly against him, as if he knew you felt like you were going to collapse at any moment.
“I feel so… so alone,” you groaned between sobs, hiding your face in that area where his neck met his shoulder. The hiccups became more constant, making it really hard for you to speak, but that didn’t stop you, not now that you could finally get it out of your mind. “I’ve tried everything, Jin, but no matter how hard I try, no matter how many times I try… it’s never enough.” You clenched your jaw, trying to stop a sob from escaping too loudly; you were still aware enough to remember you were in a public place. “I’m never enough for anyone.”
“Hey, hey,” he pulled away slightly from you, creating enough distance to take your cheeks in his hands so he could look you in the eyes. “Sweetheart, look at me.” His warm, soft thumbs wiped away the stream of tears falling from your eyes, and although he couldn’t stop the sobs from escaping, the way he caressed your face managed to calm your crying a bit. “What are you talking about? What do you mean by that?”
“It’s just that… I’ve tried everything to be what everyone always expects. I always gave my best to fit in with other people and no matter how much I try, it never seems to work," you said, your voice shaky, your eyes avoiding Jin's every few seconds because you were completely incapable of looking him in the eye. "I'm always the second choice, Jin. No one has ever truly considered me; Seojoon always invites Seulgi to his outings and only turns to me when she cancels, the same happens with Jumin and Seyeon and with absolutely all of my friends." You covered your eyes with your hands, just like a five-year-old child trying to wipe away tears or hide their gaze. "Am I that unpleasant? Is it really that hard to think of me as someone other than the replacement for someone else?"
"Of course not," he quickly shook his head, frowning when he heard your concern. Jin had known you’d been having some issues with your friends lately; he figured it out when you started going to your parents' café, but he never thought it was because of the insecurity their actions were causing you. "It's not hard to love you, of course it’s not! Loving you is as easy as breathing, it’s... it’s something you do unconsciously, that's it!" He moved his face closer to yours, gently pressing your foreheads together. "I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding, but even if it's not, what does it matter what they think? Other people's decisions don't define your worth."
"But—"
"No, Y/N, no buts," he said with the softest voice he could, lifting your face so he could kiss your forehead. "You are the sweetest, most thoughtful, and loving woman I’ve ever met in my life; you are my best friend, my wife, the love of my life, and I won’t let you speak ill of someone so important to me because of idiots who don’t know how to value the wonderful friend they have." He couldn't help but smile when he heard you let out a soft laugh at his comment. Good, he had managed to calm your tears a little. "Friends come and go, if they really loved you, they’d stay by your side through the good and the bad... maybe you haven't found the right people yet, but you’re still young, you still have time to find a circle where you’re accepted for who you are, not for who you pretend to be to please them." He gently stroked your cheeks, watching as your red nose scrunched up slightly and your brow furrowed. "And until then, I’ll be by your side, I’ll take care of you at all times because you are my best friend, and I’ll be with you no matter what, understood?"
You took a deep breath. Slowly, you counted to 10, regulating your breathing as best as you could. Then, you nodded. "Understood."
"Good, then," he stood up from the floor, taking your hands to help you up from the bench, never stopping the gentle caress of your knuckles. "What do you think about going home, I’ll make your favorite food, and we can watch a couple of movies until we fall asleep?"
You smiled faintly, watching as your husband smiled back at you cheerfully, as if you didn’t look like a complete mess at the moment.
"That sounds perfect," you murmured, giving his hands a soft squeeze before starting to walk back to where his car was parked.
Jin glanced at you from the corner of his eye, noticing how your gaze stayed low and melancholic, but less depressed than before. He knew it would take time to lift that weight from your heart completely, but he was willing to wait and help in any way he could to make that fear disappear.
Masterlist.
#bts x reader#bts x you#bts fanfic#bts imagine#bts x y/n#bts x fem!reader#fanfic#fiction#jin x y/n#jin x reader#jin x you#seokjin x you#seokjin x y/n#seokjin x reader#kim seokjin x reader
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Heyyy can you write something like Eddie x goth fem reader? It could be whatever just not smut 😭😭
My Sweet Boy | Modern! Eddie x Modern! Goth! Reader
Notes: I made you the opposite of smut, I hope you enjoy it! I had a lot of fun writing this 🤍
Words: 636
Warnings: None, just a lot of fluff
"Eddie, stop.", you mumbled while trying to concentrate on your makeup. Your boyfriend kept coming from the side, above and, at this point, below to take close looks at how you did it. "It's so satisfying.", he said while watching you in the mirror.
You slept over at his place last night and had a family function in two hours you had to go to. As the designated family disappointment, you had to put on your goth makeup. "I'm happy it satisfies you, but you're distracting me." Your boyfriend has never seen you put on your makeup before. He's seen you without it, he's seen you with varieties of it on your face, but never how you did it. "How's that distracting? Am I making you nervous?" You put down your eyeliner after finishing just one eye and turned to him. It was a bit odd looking, but you were always beautiful to him.
"Just tell me when you need attention, Eds.", you said while squishing his face between your hands, then giving him a kiss. "You're lucky I still have time." Another kiss. "You're so needy, my sweet boy." And another kiss. Eddie grinned with his face still squished between your hands. "I'm not needy.", he argued back, but proceeded to put his head on your shoulder the second you let go of his face.
"How about I log into my Netflix and you put on whatever you want. And once I'm done with my makeup, we can cuddle." He didn't look happy, but fine enough with that suggestion.
After logging into your Netflix account and putting on Alice In Borderland for him, he pouted up and asked "One more kiss?" With a smile, you leaned down to him for another one. And that went well.
For exactly one episode.
"Baby, if I hug you from behind, does that work with your makeup?", he asked from his bed. You didn't know that the show was long-forgotten since he kept watching you getting ready. "I just need to finish my nose and the sign on my forehead. One more episode, okay?"
"Another kiss?", he asked again. It was actually adorable how much your boyfriend needed your attention, but the timing was the worst one. Regardless, you got up and kissed him. A longer one this time, to help him through this trying time. "I love you.", he mumbled against your lips before leaning into another kiss. "I love you, too.", you replied before walking back to your little makeup station you set up on his bedroom floor. "You know what, I'll text my mum that you'll come with me to the gender reveal and then you can sleep over." His heart skipped a beat at your words. "You're the best girlfriend.", he said before you put on the next episode for him.
You texted your mother, then finished your nose contour and the sign for male in your forhead quickly. Considering you were attending a baby shower, it was fitting and better than your usual St. Peters Cross.
"Alright, come here, my sweet boy.", you said with a smile while taking him into your arms. He rested his head on your chest and wrapped his arms around you. "This is what I'm talking about.", he said with a wide grin. There was still a good 45 minutes before you had to leave, and Eddie would be dammed if he didn't spend every second of it in your arms.
"I love you.", he said again after a while. His tone was soft, and he mumbled a bit into the top of your black dress. "I love you, too.", you replied before kissing the top of his head. Good thing Eddie got you that kiss-proof, black lipstick from Sephora.
There were many kisses to follow after that one.
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#outer wilds#chert#hello friends more experimentation with trying out art stuff#alright look. am I happy with this? no. but am I done looking at it? yeah#a.art#chert is truly at blorbo level for me#I just love how the sun looks on ember twin when [REDACTED]. like yeah I'd have an existential crisis too I'm there with you buddy
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ANYA EATING BURGER
She's SO CUTE. I need to FEED HER. I want to LISTEN TO HER SORROWS. I desire to FIX HER.
#mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#Burger#fast food#SEE GUYS I DON'T ONLY DRAW KIDS#I'M NORMAL#I'M NORMAL!!!!!!#It's called cute aggression btw look it up#I adore Anya but her story destroys me#I need to nurse HER back to health#Remember that we should legalize abortion#You can love both the babies and the women that make them. One doesn't have to be sacrificed for the other to be healthy and happy#But also if you're a woman please let me hug all your babies#And then hug me#In general I need hugs#I should really just make more blogs talking but we both know you won't read my insane posts#Anyways I want to cuddle Anya for days straight without rest#I am going to stuff her like a turkey with nothing but the greasiest fast food#She will become CHUBBY#That is my MO#Plus she's a nurse and I could really use a doctor rn#I'd faint if she touched my arm#Alright I'm done rambling you can scroll away#I need to be cuddled by Anya from Mouthwashing and Anya from Spy x Family#We can play Mario Kart together and eat pizza and stay up playing Monopoly
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warmup
#devotee before he ascended#i am very normal about my characters and do not have brainrot#creature on the left is his god#>obsessively devoted to a god >the god gets obsessed back#chat what do i do#alright ill probably delete this one in the morning enjoy my characters (stupid beasts)#my art#gonna be honest i am not very happy with how my drawings of this guy look but im just gonna keep on truckin#they get the job done
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@absolut--kurant!
#good morning!#sending you many soft and warm pigeon sentiments today my dear! 🥰🥰🥰#happy middle of the week! how have you been faring?#our houseguest is leaving early this morning - i think right after this posts maybe; very very early#he broke a crown on his tooth the first night he came and now has to go back home to see his dentist 😭 unfortunate#as for me personally i'm doing alright! writing and preparing more cards for christmas#i think the post is going to get very chaotic come december so best to get it done now 😅#did i also tell you the downstairs bathroom is finished?!#it was all done up last friday but the seals/grout etc didn't settle fully until monday. it's all good now though and looking amazing#walk in shower instead of bath! new basin and radiator too#i am very glad this was one household project that didn't extend into the next year haha#that's all the immediate news. keep warm my friend and love you lots 💖💖💖💖💖#dove#pigeon#birds#cute
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was up til 4 writing last night woohooooo :3
#just me hi#and i FINISHED what i was writing ! ! ! ! :DD#happy happy happy abt that lol !!#i was only like half-conscience for the last two full thirds of it (that's certainly an Experience btw lmfvshg) but it's not too bad either#i finished another short thing a couple months ago i think and i'd thought that was insane#turns out if you wanna get things done you just add easily achieved checkpoints. a thing i already knew but had not applied to writing ever#for some reason hkfsvhjg#like i finished it !! i finished the thang ! ! !#i rarely ever finish writing things cuz i don't think i have the network for that lolll - but i Did and ! ! ! :DD#and i didn't feel too bad waking up this morning so this is nothing but wins dude ! ! :D#ofc i'll have to go to bed earlier now tonight but yippeeee#i'm just really darn diddly pleased about it. yeah hbghfhs#//and what else..#drinkin strawberry lemonade rn !!! i love you strawberry lemonade houh <33#oouhhh one of my fave songs just came on hbghfs#wow i Am having nothing but wins today !! sick sick sick :D#//oh and since it's getting cooler i wanna go skating ! !#gotta mention that every now and then. i also love my skates hfbsh <3#they're crusted in mud (i am so sorry skates) cuz of that one time i hit the ditch (lmao) and i forgot to clean them so they've just been#Waiting for that Lol#i'll prolly get those cleaned later! hopefullyyyyyy gfhshv#yea also since i got bigger wheels than i'm used to (cuz i can't keep up w/ my siblings w/ dying wheezing lmfhsvhjg) i have to relearn some#stuff like it's Brand-brand new#but i Did master that one hill that spooked me (i went Flying dude i think it looked majestic hgkfsj) so we're making progress !! :D#hyped hyped hyped for thatttt#i miss that big empty lot in belle isle for this kinda thing but that's alright. tiny sidewalk we must join forces now#//i'm running out of tag space n i'm sposed to be doin stuff Hfhkhfjsv - toodles tooooodles :D !!
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Are We Still Friends? — Part Four
Pairing: Reader x Azriel
Summary: You navigate the aftermath of your confrontation. Azriel takes his first steps toward making things right.
Warnings: brief mentions of injury, bruises, and physical fighting. nyx being a cute baby. some fun introspection. reader is tired and overwhelmed. az is honest and open (hallelujah)
Word Count: 7k+
Part Three | Series Masterlist | Part Five
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
Rhys was trying to be serious.
He truly, truly was.
From behind his polished desk, he looked every inch the High Lord—back straight, jaw tight, fingers drumming against the wood. His mouth opened, closed, then opened again, as though he couldn’t decide where to start.
You shifted in your seat, your body aching in strange places from the fight. The cut on your cheek throbbed and the bruising across your knuckles made every twitch of your fingers tender. But none of it compared to the strain in your cheeks—from holding back a laugh.
Feyre was perched on the arm of a chair beside you, Nyx cradled in her arms, his tiny fingers gripping the fabric of her flowy blouse. She wasn’t looking at you—refusing to, actually. Her gaze was locked firmly on her son, her lips pressed together in a trembling line, but you could see the corners twitching with suppressed amusement. You kept your gaze on her, waiting until the burn of your stare would render too hot for her to ignore.
It didn’t take long.
Feyre’s resolve crumbled as soon as her eyes met yours. She let out a laugh—sharp and bright and loud in the too-quiet room.
Rhys’s head snapped up. “Feyre, please. Not you too.”
Not you too. Morrigan had found the situation just as amusing.
Her laughter only grew, and Nyx joined in, making incomprehensible happy gurgles in response to his mother’s amusement.
“I’m sorry,” she said, though she didn’t sound sorry at all.
She passed Nyx to your open, offering arms, and crossed the room, wrapping her arms around Rhys’s neck. Her cheek brushed against his as she murmured—loud enough for you to hear, “You have to admit it’s funny.”
Rhys groaned, glancing at you. He opened his mouth, probably to protest, but you cut in, your voice laced with mock sternness as you bit back a smile. “Yeah, Rhys. You have to.”
“I don’t have to do anything,” he replied, fixing you with a look. “It is not funny.”
You gasped dramatically, adjusting Nyx in your lap and covering his tiny,pointed ears. “Don’t teach your son it’s okay to lie.”
Another groan. A hand dragged down his face, but his lips twitched as though fighting a losing battle. Finally, with a resigned shake of his head, he muttered, “Alright. Fine. It’s funny. But—
His words faltered.
“I am sorry,” you offered, filling the silence. You raised your free hand solemnly. “I lost my cool. That’s my bad. But in my defense, she really had it coming.”
Rhys casted a look at Feyre, who was leaning against the desk now, a smile still tugging at her lips. He shook his head again, sighing. “Maybe so,” he conceded, “But I can’t have our court’s emissary beating one of our citizens in broad daylight. It’s not a great look.”
“It wasn’t broad daylight,” you corrected, your attention shifting to Nyx as you untangled your hair from his iron grip, grimacing as the motion pulled at your scalp. “The sun was setting by the time we were done.”
Feyre let out another laugh, the sound powerful enough to pull a snort from her.
“And,” you added, “It was, at most, semi-private.”
“Unbelievable,” Rhys muttered, though there was no real heat in it.
Nyx babbled again, his chubby hand reaching for your hair once more.
“Okay, alright,” you said, straightening in your chair. The ache in your body flared as you moved, but you ignored it, your focus on Rhys. “You’re right, Rhys. I have a title and an image to uphold. I should’ve acted better. Tell me how to fix it, and I will.”
Rhys’s gaze lingered on you, as if the longer he stared at you, the easier words would come. Then he leaned back in his chair, his attention flicking to Feyre. They were in each other’s minds, you realized, talking in that way only they could. You could pick up the signs now, even subtle—a faint twitch of her lips, the softening in his gaze, even the rhythm of their blinks syncing up.
Finally, Rhys looked back at you, then down at Nyx, who was still babbling in your lap. When his gaze returned to yours, there was a thread of warmth beneath his voice. “You’re the most, objectively, rational of us all. If you say there was reasoning, then I believe you.”
You gave him a grateful smile.
“We just have to prepare for some damage control,” Feyre said. “It’s not exactly comforting for our citizens to see three of their highest-ranking officials fighting in the streets.”
“Three?” You frowned. “What—”
You were cut off as the door creaked open. All three of you turned as Mor stepped in, a large grin on her red painted lips. She was holding something small in her hand, and when she held it up, the light caught on the all-too-familiar jewelry.
“Don’t forget. She also found these,” Mor sang as she entered fully. She tossed two bracelets into the air, catching both effortlessly before holding them up again for emphasis. “So, I think that’s enough for a pardon.”
Rhys stood, crossing the room in a few long strides as Feyre followed. He took one of the bracelets from Mor, inspecting it carefully.
“What did you find?”
“What Y/n heard was right,” Mor said, rolling the other bracelet between her fingers. “It’s a simple listening charm. Very basic.”
Rhysand hummed. “And how does it work exactly?”
“It’s an anchored spell.”
“What does that mean?” Feyre asked, frowning. “An anchor?”
“It means the spell needs an anchor to function—a tether to keep it active and contained. Like a balloon tied to a string.” Rhys explained, his tone turning clinical. “It’s simple magic. The charm was designed to spy on whoever it was bound to.”
“And it was bound to who? Az?”
”Actually,” Mor said. She nodded towards you. “It was bound to Y/n.”
You weren’t paying full attention, not as you played a game of tug-of-war with Nyx and a strand of your hair. When the words finally hit you, you blinked, glancing between Mor and the bracelet in her hand. “What? On me?”
Mor nodded once more as Rhysand said, “Interesting.”
”And this was in Azriels room?” Feyre asked, looking over at you.
“One of them,” you confirmed. “The other Selene was wearing.”
Feyre’s gaze flicked to the cut across your cheek. “So she put it in Azriel’s room, but bound it to you?”
“No one tends to go into Az’s room.” Rhys frowned. “So she was only interested in conversations you were a part of.”
Of course. A bitter laugh bubbled up, but you clenched your jaw, forcing it down. You reminded yourself of what you’d seen earlier— the insecurity, rather than the malice you’d anticipated. Still, a certain annoyance lingered. Was her relationship with Azriel so fragile that she couldn’t talk to him? Were you so unapproachable that she couldn’t come to you? Instead, she planted a charm. To spy.
”Can I see it?” You asked.
Mor stepped forward, holding it out, and Nyx reached for it first, his tiny fingers desperately grasping at the shiny surface.
“This isn’t for you, buddy,” Mor cooed, crouching slightly. “This is Aunt Y/n’s special bracelet from her secret admirer.”
You shot her a flat look. “Secret admirer, my ass.”
Mor grinned, but her gaze flicked over you briefly, her teasing dimmed by something else—concern, maybe. Feyre stepped forward, lifting Nyx from your lap as you examined the bracelet.
“So what do we do with it now?” You glanced up at Mor.
“I can pay Helion a visit. Break the charm.”
“Alright,” Rhys said, the word accompanied by a considering hum. “But first, let me talk to Selene and Runa—Runa was the other one, right?”
Hearing her name sent a wave of irritation coursing through you. Your grip on the bracelet tightened instinctively as you nodded, the cool metal digging into your palm. You held it out for Mor to take, watching as she then took the second one back from Rhys. He studied you for a moment, his gaze drifting to your clenched fists.
“You’re just too great,” He said with a small grin. It was very father-like in its presentation, like he was trying to cheer up a sad child. “It’s intimidating.”
You rolled your eyes, but his attempt worked— the easy cadence chipping away at the tension in your shoulders, managing to coax a reluctant smile to your lips. “So I’ve been told.”
Your attention shifted to Feyre as she rocked Nyx gently in her arms. His soft breaths had already settled into the rhythm of sleep, and something in you softened at the sight. Your smile deepened, this time warmer, more genuine. Feyre caught your gaze, then glanced at her mate.
“It’s his bedtime,” she murmured, her attention returning to you. “And maybe you could use some rest too.”
You opened your mouth to argue, but Mor cut you off, her hand already brushing against your arm. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” she said softly, though there was no room for argument in her tone.
“I’m fine,” you tried to insist, but she gave you a look, leading you out of Rhysand’s office. You gave both him and Feyre a quick goodbye.
“Walk or winnow?” Mor asked once you were in the hall, tilting her head.
You thought it over for a brief moment. “Winnow,” you replied.
She nodded in agreement, the corners of her lips curving upwards. “Probably for the best,” she said, “Wouldn’t want you to find another citizen to fight on the way home.”
You moved to swat at her arm in mock indignation, but she was already gone, her laughter echoing faintly as she winnowed away.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
Mor was humming a small tune as she led you to your bedroom. She had a few more items in her hand since the last time you saw her, only a few moments prior.
“Sit,” she instructed, nodding towards your bed. Without waiting for a response, she pulled your chair from the small desk, its legs scraping sharply against the floor. Usually, you might've winced at the sound, but tonight it barely registered. You were too tired, too lost in your own thoughts to be fully aware of your surroundings.
You lowered yourself onto the edge of your bed, hands folded in your lap, watching as Mor set her haul on your bedside table: a first-aid healers kit and a small jar with a golden lid, the faint scent of herbs already wafting from it.
“Whats that?” you asked, motioning towards it as Mor sat down.
“I stopped by Majda’s earlier,” Mor replied, grabbing the jar and offering it to you.
You gingerly took it, running your fingers along the small glass. A healing balm, you gathered from the label, crafted and spelled to sooth the tenderness of injuries. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Of course I did,” she replied, fixing you with a look. She held her hand out in a silent request, and you granted it, placing the jar back in her soft palm. “I ran into Adrin while I was there, too.”
“Oh?”
“Mhm. I think he has a crush.”
Your brows furrowed. “On you?”
“No,” Mor laughed. “On you.” She twisted the lid off, the scent growing stronger, fresher. “This was practically free when I mentioned your name. He says hello, by the way.”
You rolled your eyes at the tone of her voice, at the small quirk in her lip. “How generous of him.”
Adrin was one of Madja’s recent apprentices, a male from the Dawn Court. Over the past year, you’d developed a sort of friendship with him—inevitable, given how often you stopped by Madja’s for elixirs, balms, or to request healing for one of your family members. Adrin was sweet in a way that stood out, especially for someone of his stature and wealth. Humble, easy to talk to. You’d always enjoyed your small conversations with him, none of which had ever felt particularly flirtatious.
But Mor liked to do this—tease you about romantic prospects where there were none.
“He seemed very sad to hear you were hurt,” she teased, dipping her fingers into the balm. “Here. Give me your hands.”
Reluctantly, you stretched out your hands, knuckles bruised and raw. She took them, her touch gentle as she worked the balm into your skin. It stung at first, then cooled, easing the ache.
“He’s cute,” Mor said lightly, noting your silence. “You should consider it.”
“Mhm,” you replied, not really listening. “Maybe.”
Mor glanced up at you, her hands pausing briefly before she resumed. “What are you thinking about?”
You shrugged and stared down at your hands, tracing the patterns of Mor’s thumbs as she smoothed over the worst of the bruising. “I don’t know. The whole thing, I guess.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t just beat them both.”
A small laugh slipped from you, unexpected. You were quite proud of how diplomatic you’d managed to be given the circumstances— though, you were sure diplomatic wasn’t the word Runa would use.
“I think,” you began, “I just figured it wasn’t worth it. At least with Selene, it wasn’t personal. There’s nothing I could’ve said to her that’d be worse than what I imagine she already tells herself. Runa just… said the wrong thing at the wrong time.”
Mor nodded with an amused smile, tilting your chin up with a finger so she could dab the balm along your jaw. On a hit you hadn’t even noticed until it started throbbing an hour later.
“Still. A listening charm is kind of insane,” she said. Her tone was measured, but you caught the edge of anger beneath it. “Can you imagine what else she could’ve heard?”
Your chest tightened. You nodded. Although not to the extent you might usually have, you had thought about it—the implications of the bracelet, the act Selene had committed, the idea Runa had planted. It was almost laughable. Your court was condemned for its supposed cruelty, led by a High Lord as infamous as Rhysand, yet citizens still felt emboldened enough to pull stunts like this. In any other court, Selene and Runa would’ve faced very different—more permanent—consequences.
“I don’t want to think about it too much,” you replied after a moment. “I’ll just get angry, and I’m kind of over that. It’s exhausting.”
“You’re better than me,” Mor muttered.
“Not really. I’m just tired.” You said simply. “Selene did a bad thing. She’s lucky it didn’t cause a serious disaster. I don’t feel the need to play the Mother’s role. Rhys will deal with her.”
Mor sat back, a faint grin tugging at her lips. “And in the meantime, I get pretty jewelry.”
You raised a brow.
“What?” Her grin widened. “Like we told Rhys, it’s only a basic listening spell. If I’m in possession of both charms, and I’m not talking to you, then no one’s hearing anything.”
“And if you lose one?”
She raised an eyebrow, slowly twisting the cap back onto the jar. “I won’t,” she replied simply. And you knew that was the end of the conversation. Mor guided your head to the side, leaning in to inspect the cut across your cheek.
“That bitch got you good, though,” Mor muttered. She touched it gently, and you grimaced. “All this from that bracelet?”
“It was chunky,” you replied dryly. “And I think Runa split it open much further.”
Mor scowled. “If I see her, she's as good as d—”
“Mor.”
She sighed dramatically. “At least tell me you got her good.”
You gave her a look and her grin widened. “Gods, I love you,” she said, shaking her head. “You might be the most terrifying one of us all when you’re angry.”
A smile tugged at your lips, the faint pull of it brushing against the ache in your cheek. The sound of a laugh started to rise in your chest when a low voice cut through the moment.
“I would agree.”
You jumped, and your head snapped toward the doorway— where Azriel now stood.
Your chest tightened at the sight of him, the moment’s levity collapsing under his presence. Instinctively, your eyes ran over him, taking in every detail. He looked tense, wings drawn in tight to his back, his posture stiff. Shadows hung close to him, unnervingly still. Disheveled, too—his hair was a mess and faint bruises bloomed along his face. His hands were hidden by his shadows, but you’d bet they bore the same marks as yours. Three officials, Feyre had said. You now knew the second.
He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry to interrupt.”
Mor snickered beside you, drawing your attention just as her brows lifted in amusement. She turned away from him and faced you instead. “You hear that, Y/n? He’s sorry.”
You raised your own brows, gaze flicking back to him. “So those words do exist in your vocabulary.”
The bite didn’t feel as satisfying as it should have. It felt hollow, old. Azriel’s jaw tightened, his chest rising as he drew in a measured breath. After a moment, he stepped forward. His gaze lingered on you for another moment before he turned to Mor.
“May we have a moment alone?”
Mor’s eyes narrowed, the sharpness in her gaze dragging over him like a knife. She didn’t answer right away, looking back to you instead, searching your face for permission. Despite yourself, you gave her a small nod.
Her displeasure showed in the faint widening of her eyes, but she stood anyway, brushing her hand against yours in passing. Her touch was soft, careful not to press too hard against the bruises. “Love you,” she murmured. “Let me know if you need anything else tonight.”
You gave her a small smile, nodding again as she walked past Azriel. His shadows recoiled from her, drawing a dark outline along his arm. She casted one last glare over her shoulder.
“Idiot,” she muttered, loud enough for both of you to hear. Then she was gone.
The silence she left behind felt suffocating, a heavy thing that settled over the room. You avoided Azriel’s gaze, focusing instead on the healer’s kit sitting on the bedside table. You reached for it, but Azriel held up a hand to stop you.
“I can do it myself,” you said.
“I know,” Az replied softly. “But let me. Please.”
You hesitated. He looked troubled, guilt heavy in his expression, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. The conversation had been inevitable, long overdue. Might as well get it over with while he tended to the cut on your cheek.
Besides, you were too exhausted to care.
“Fine.”
Azriel gave you a small, unsure smile—grateful, almost. He disappeared to the bathroom, and when he returned, he sat with a wet rag in hand.
You tried to hold on to your anger, to avoid his eyes, but your resolve began to falter the moment his shadows began to twist around your arms. They moved languidly, curling up your wrists and brushing your fingers as you played with your hands in your lap. You focused on them instead of him— on their quiet presence, the personality in them that so few ever noticed. You’d missed the way they felt like him.
Azriel began unpacking the kit—clean cloths, antiseptic. The smell made your nose scrunch. You took in the bruising on his face—on his cheek, a split near his eyebrow, even on his lip. Strange, strategically unplaced.
“What happened to you?” you asked before you could stop yourself.
“Cassian happened.”
And there it was— the third official. You wanted to probe for more details, were even tempted to make a joke out of his current appearance, but your irritation held you back. You stayed silent as he cleaned the wound, as he dried it. When he soaked another cloth with antiseptic, he looked at you.
“I owe you a big, proper apology.”
You didn’t look at him, even as his words pulled at you. “Yeah.”
He paused— like he was thinking, like he was ashamed— and took a deep breath before he said, “Many, actually.”
You didn’t respond. You just nodded, watching him from the corner of your eye. When the cloth touched your cheek, you winced. He grimaced, eyebrows furrowing in apology.
“Sorry,” he murmured.
Another pause.
“You were right,” he said, his focus staying on your cheek. “And I should have listened to you.”
This time, the pull of his voice was strong enough to draw your attention. As he leaned closer to begin cleaning the cut, you studied his face—the sharp line of his jaw, the crease in his brow as he worked with precision.
“I’m always right,” you muttered, and the words had more mirth than you’d expected. You supposed that was natural with Azriel, an instinct of sorts. Even when you were unhappy with him. “You’re going to have to be specific.”
Something softened in his expression—just for a second. But you saw it. You could’ve sworn you saw the faintest hint of a smile tug at his lips, heard a soft breath of amusement. His molten eyes met yours briefly.
“You were right about Selene.”
Your chest tightened. You didn’t know why, but his gaze burned. You couldn’t hold it for long and looked back down at your hands, letting the shadows weave between your fingers. You wondered what information Az knew— wondered who told him. If it was Mor who had talked to Cassian, if it was Cassian who then, in turn, had given Azriel the whole story. Had they fought beforehand? What for?
“I broke up with her,” Azriel added. “When I heard about what happened.”
You looked up, but Az’s gaze was no longer on you. “You did?”
He nodded. You tracked the bob in his throat as he swallowed.
“There’s no coming back from what she did.”
Azriel set the cloth aside, carefully wiping away the excess antiseptic. He seemed unnervingly calm for the situation—for the invasion of privacy from someone he’d been intimate with. You’d expected something more. Anger like you’d seen with Eris, confrontation like he’d shown Lucien. But, instead, he was gentle. Maybe it should’ve bothered you, that he seemed so unphased at your current state. It didn’t. If anything, you were grateful. You would’ve been too tired to deal with anything else.
You studied him closely. This side of him—tender, unguarded—wasn’t a side he let many see.
Your thoughts wandered back to Selene. It made sense, in a pathetic, strange way, why she might have done what she did. If she’d seen this side of him, this kindness, this care... how could she not have wanted to protect it? How could she not have gone to extremes to keep it?
You thought about it for a moment. Came to the realization that the love Azriel offered was probably worthy of madness.
“Because she spied on you?”
It was a stupid question. But the urge to ask had persisted, so you voiced it anyway. Azriel stilled, his hand pausing mid-motion. Slowly, he turned to look at you.
“No,” he said, his voice softer. “Because she hurt you.”
His words landed with a force that sent your thoughts spiraling.
“Although,” Azriel added quickly, “The spying was definitely a dealbreaker.”
He was making a joke, you realized. Or a small attempt at one. And somehow, it settled something restless in your chest.
“She didn’t mean to,” you heard yourself say before you could stop it.
The moment the words left your mouth, you cursed yourself. What the hell were you doing? You had no obligation. No reason. It was counterproductive, if anything. Rhys was bringing her in. You had every right to trash her, right here, to Azriel himself. To tell him over and over that you told him so.
But you didn’t. Maybe it was because she’d mattered to him—enough for him to trust her despite the flaws that had undone her. Even if that truth made your chest ache, you wanted him to make his decision with all the facts.
Your care for Azriel wasn’t something led by your pride.
“Selene didn’t mean to hurt me,” you said again, more certain this time. “It was an accident.”
His eyes softened as he observed you. You swallowed and shrugged. “Runa was the one who actually did.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Azriel said. “You were in that situation because of Selene.”
A beat.
“Because of me.”
The air between you thickened. You tried to focus on anything else, anything but the way your chest tightened, the way your heart thudded faster than it should. But you couldn’t. Your eyes stayed locked with his.
You thought about the past week, how something had shifted between you. The distance that had grown, how long it had taken him to reach out. Azriel was someone who didn’t apologize easily. You knew that. But it hurt in ways you didn’t expect because you’d always thought you were different. That your friendship, your bond, was worth the discomfort.
You thought he’d make it right. That he wouldn't have let it fester for as long as he did, wouldn’t have felt comfortable leaving you simmering in your hurt.
“Az?”
The name escaped your lips unguarded, and his face softened at the sound of it. His wings shifted too, just slightly, like tension bleeding out. You hadn’t said his name like that—without anger, without bitterness—for days.
“Yeah?”
“Why didn’t you actually apologize earlier?”
Azriel’s jaw tightened, and his gaze flicked down, as if the answer was there, somewhere in the floor. “I—I didn’t know how.”
You let out a breath—annoyance, defeat, something too messy to untangle. “It’s actually really easy,” you muttered. “You just open your mouth and say the words ‘I’m sorry for being a dick.’”
There was a soft shuffle as Azriel leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. He tilted his head, trying to meet your averted gaze.
“Y/n,” he said softly. “I’m sorry for being a dick.”
You let the words settle for a moment before sitting up straighter. Met his eyes once more. You raised a brow, unimpressed. “A bit late, don’t you think?”
Azriel didn’t move, his eyes meeting yours steadily. He was closer now—close enough that you could almost feel his presence like a tangible, heavy thing. His shadows stirred, curling around your fingers, then shifting toward his hand. They tangled between you both, like they were tying you together, threading through the space that separated you.
“It is,” Azriel said. He looked down the second his words hit the open air. It reminded you of repentance, like a sinner confessing to a priestess. His hands rubbed together before he clasped them into a fist, looking up again.
Even then, his thumbs kept moving, brushing over each other in a way that gave him away. He was nervous.
“I messed up,” he said. “I knew I did the minute I repeated what Selene told me. But I’d messed up so badly that I felt like an apology needed to be big enough to make up for it. I couldn’t think of anything.” He took a shallow breath. “I—I was embarrassed.”
You frowned. For Azriel, who stood in front of you, unwavering in the face of so many enemies, embarrassment seemed almost foreign.
“Embarrassed?”
“Yes.” His voice was quiet as he admitted it.
“What could you possibly have to be embarrassed about?”
Azriel’s face shifted, his eyes looking almost vulnerable, wide open, like you could see everything. Even his shadows slowed to a faint crawl. They seemed to be waiting for something. You weren’t sure what.
“That you were right. I was changing. For her. And I did it on my own.”
“What?” You barely breathed out, confused. “Why?”
“I just…” He hesitated, his eyes lowering. “I thought it might be for the better. That maybe this relationship, maybe Selene, could mold me into something else, something more…” He trailed off.
“More what?”
“Something—someone, more easy to love.”
Your breath faltered, and for a second, everything froze— like the sheer sadness in his voice was enough to freeze time. And then you were flooded with emotions, each different from the one that came before. Confusion. Anger. Pity. Heartbreak. You felt a deep, hollow ache at the idea that he truly believed he needed to change to be loved.
For the first time, you weren’t sure what the right thing to say was. If there was one at all. All you could do, in the most genuine tone you could muster, was say, “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Azriel’s gaze faltered, his expression shifting as though he wasn’t quite sure how to process your reaction. You glanced at his hands, pushing the rush of emotions back, then met his eyes again.
“You should never feel like you need to change. Not like that.”
For a moment, he didn’t say anything, but his eyes softened, and you found yourself focusing on the crease between his brows. It made him look so tender. So young.
Finally, he spoke again. “I was having a bad day that night you came to talk to me. I didn’t realize how I’d hurt you. I thought I just pissed you off, that you were angry.”
“Well, you did piss me off,” you said, your anger bubbling up once more. His expression faltered slightly at that, but you continued, “I’m still angry. You were dismissive. You made me feel selfish, like I didn’t have the right to care about you.”
The words caught in your throat, threatening to stick, but you pushed them out. You’d spent centuries enduring criticism from males in Prythian politics—males who dismissed your input no matter how educated or experienced you were. You knew how to let their opinions roll off your back, not to let them settle. But you never thought Azriel would be the one to hurt you. Make you feel silly. Stupid. Small.
Azriel’s jaw tightened, and his eyes darted away as if he was trying to find the right words. “It was all so stupid. I can’t believe I entertained her ideas—that I let my desire to be needed make me accuse you of having ulterior motives when you were just being a good friend.”
A good friend.
That was exactly what you were trying to be—and yet, the word hurt you. It made you want to wince like you had when Azriel pressed that rag to your cut. You thought back, unwanted, to Selene’s words, and your chest tightened even more.
Was it possible for the room to be losing air? Maybe that would explain the stupid decisions you’d been making. The thoughts you could feel in the back of your mind. A lack of oxygen to your brain.
“So why did you believe her?” you asked quietly. Your voice sounded more tired now.
“I don’t know,” he admitted after a long pause. “It doesn’t change what I did. It was cruel. It belittled you. And I’m sorry.”
You stared at him, at the set of his shoulders, the faint downturn of his mouth. He was sincere—you could feel it in every word, in the way his eyes stayed fixed on you, like nothing else existed in the room. You didn’t think you’d ever had someone apologize like this before, so open and raw.
And yet, something inside you still simmered. The anger hadn’t disappeared. Not yet.
“Thank you,” you murmured, “For apologizing.”
Azriel didn’t move. He kept looking at you, really looking at you, and you felt pinned beneath the weight of his gaze. His eyes had more green than Cassian’s. It wasn’t something you usually noticed—how the colors shifted in the light, how clear and startling they seemed up close. Now, though, you couldn’t seem to stop noticing, like every detail of him was suddenly magnified.
You wanted to stay angry. You deserved to. He’d hurt you, and that kind of hurt didn’t just disappear because he finally decided to show up and say the right things. But then his gaze held yours a little too long, his voice a little too raw, and that tightrope you’d built for yourself began to fray. A sharp sting of guilt came, and you couldn’t shake it—couldn’t shake the growing realization that maybe you didn’t want to be angry at him. Maybe it wasn’t even anger anymore.
You cleared your throat as Azriel shifted his attention back to the kit, his shadows curling and shifting behind him. He grabbed a few butterfly bandages, his voice quiet when he spoke.
“You’re better to me than I deserve,” he said, almost to himself. “I think I convinced myself that it was a matter of time until the ball dropped—until you realized I wasn’t worth this friendship. I thought I’d finally reached that point. I almost just laid down and accepted it.”
You frowned at his words.
Azriel always carried that shadow of self-loathing like a second skin, like he couldn’t believe anyone could see him as more than his darkest thoughts. As much as you wanted to heal him, to assure him that none of it was true, you knew better. It hurt to know that, after everything, he still didn’t believe it. Because, the truth was, Azriel wasn’t hard to love. It wasn’t hard to support him, to be his friend. He had his moments, as anyone did, but he was always there. Which, you supposed, is why the way he treated you hurt in such a deep, unique way.
The thought that he’d believed, deep down, that your friendship—your loyalty—could be so easily withdrawn, made something inside you ache. Made you sad. Angry.
“I take back what I said earlier,” you murmured. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Azriel’s lips twitched as he searched your face for any hint of a joke. His shadows perched on the apex of his wings, watching you both. Then, when his lips curled, just slightly, they began to move once more.
“I have my moments,” Azriel said, a half-smile playing at the corner of his lips. He glanced at you, checking if it landed. “Maybe one too many head injuries is getting to me.”
“Maybe,” you said, the hint of a smile brushing your lips. “In that case, we should keep an eye on Cassian.”
Azriel’s breath escaped in a quiet, almost relieved laugh. He carefully removed the butterfly bandages from their small packs, the silence settling around you once more. But the air felt heavy, like there was something unspoken hanging between you. Like you needed to say something to rid yourself of the pressure in your chest.
“You can’t just lay down and accept it, Az,” you said, your voice firm. His eyes snapped to yours. “That’s not what friendship is. Not ours.”
Azriel nodded, his expression softening. “I know. I’ll do better.”
You smiled faintly, nodding back. Watching as he turned his attention back to the bandages on your cheek, you took a slow breath. His scent washed over you as he leaned in, familiar and warm. For a moment, you almost let yourself close your eyes, just to breathe him in further, to let his scent linger. Had it always been like this? Or had Selene’s words made you overanalyze everything?
“I was shocked when Cassian told me what happened. I can’t believe that while I was busy kicking myself for not doing anything, you were trying to talk to Selene. Trying to be kind. Do you realize how crazy that is?”
His words weren’t disbelief—they were awe. As if he couldn’t comprehend why you’d chosen the harder path, the path of peace. You could barely believe it yourself, sitting with a scratched-up face and a mind full of unwanted revelations. But in the end, it had been simple.
You’d done it for Azriel.
You’d found sympathy for her because of Azriel. You’d set aside your anger, your pettiness, because you valued your relationship with Azriel more. Even after everything, after the way he’d treated you, you still believed in him. Believed in his ability to know what he wanted.
“Your happiness was worth it,” you said finally. “I didn’t want to be the one to stand in the way of it. To make things hard.”
Azriel stopped at that, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that made you feel exposed in a way you’d never felt before with him. You shrugged it off, trying to play it cool, and added with a dry chuckle, “Also, I figured if I did the noble thing, I’d get to hold it over you for a few centuries.”
Azriel laughed—a genuine, rumbling sound. His shadows fluttered around him. “Yeah, well, you can. More than a few centuries, actually, because you came out with some battle scars.”
You almost spoke again, but the breath left your lungs as you felt his fingers gently press the butterfly bandages to your skin. It was almost funny to think about how angry you’d been—rightfully so. But now, with the feel of his hands on you, it all began to ease. A specific sense of healing, like the betrayal you’d felt—at least in part—was being mended. That Azriel tending to you now, with the soft touch he so rarely granted, proved that he didn’t mean to hurt you. That he did care. And maybe you could give him a little grace for being a flawed male.
When Azriel turned back to the kit, you touched your cheek, feeling the cut deeper than you expected. You hadn’t realized how long it was. Mor’s earlier reaction made more sense now.
Azriel glanced at the wound, then back at you, brow furrowing. “Is it okay?”
You nodded slowly, a soft breath escaping as you winced slightly. “Yeah, just tender. Thank you.”
He nodded in acknowledgment and moved to place the last bandage. And then, almost too quietly, he murmured, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I really am.”
“I know.” You hesitated before adding, “But you’re going to have to make it up to me. You know that, right? This wasn’t enough.”
Azriel steadied his gaze on you, leaning back to face you fully. Suddenly, you weren’t sure if anyone had ever looked at you properly. Not like this. Not as he said, “I will. I promise. In ways that are better than some baked goods.”
“Well… I wouldn’t mind some croissants. They looked good.”
Azriel chuckled. “Oh really?”
Soft tendrils of his shadows weaved around you as you nodded, biting back a smile at the tone of his voice. Something so lively. So Azriel. Although you were used to them, you resisted the urge to shiver as his shadows threaded through the ends of your hair.
“That’s odd,” he said. “I seem to recall them looking untouched. Some even squished.”
The memory of how you’d grabbed the pastry in frustration, squeezing it in your hand, brought a small smirk to your face. You shrugged a little. “I was pissed. I couldn’t give in.”
“In that case, I’ll buy out the whole bakery.”
You rolled your eyes, but the hint of a smile was still there. It was probably obvious to Azriel. “The Spymaster supporting local businesses by single-handedly buying out a local bakery. How noble.”
He smiled at that, his expression lighter now—boyish, amused. But his words were sincere. “Whatever you need me to do. I’ll do it.”
“And if I told you to swim naked in the Sidra at night, when it’s cold and snowy?”
“I’d ask Rhysand to make an order for all the children to stay inside.”
You laughed at the thought, and the atmosphere shifted. For the first time in a while, it felt like the world had stopped turning its back on you. The anger, the grudge you’d been cradling like a newborn babe, didn’t feel so heavy now.
Azriel stood, folding the bandages and packing away the medical supplies, and you found yourself watching him without meaning to once more. You couldn’t help but notice how effortlessly… beautiful he was. There was something in the angle of his jaw, the way the light caught his features that made your breath suddenly catch. He was always handsome, of course, but this was different.
A sudden wave of curiosity bubbled up inside you. Before you could second-guess yourself, you spoke. You’d never noticed the sharpness of his eyes, the intensity in them, the way his wings twitched when his shadows curled against them.
“Can I ask you something?”
He paused, looking down at you with that soft gaze. “Always.”
“Why did you want to change into someone more loveable? Why stay with Selene?”
Azriel’s eyes flickered away, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I… I think I was jealous.”
“Jealous?”
Azriel nodded. Something sad washed through him, made him blink, made his wings fall an inch closer to the ground. “Everyone around us is finding love. They’re starting new lives.”
Something sharp jabbed at you, a bitter feeling you didn’t quite understand. Was there something wrong with you for not feeling the same need to fall in love?
“I’m not,” you said.
The expression that took over Azriel’s face was one you couldn’t describe, but there was a new kind of weariness in it. His lips parted as though to say something else, but instead, he simply shook his head with a small, wistful smile. “It’s only a matter of time, Y/n.”
You blinked. “What does that mean?”
“It means you’re you. You’re amazing. It’s only a matter of time until you fall for one of your many suitors.”
You furrowed your brow, a bitter taste now settling on your tongue. You didn’t respond— didn’t know how to.
Azriel’s eyes darkened for a brief moment, his jaw tightening, but then his face softened. He exhaled slowly. When he spoke, his voice was quieter than before. “I didn’t think I could handle being alone when you moved on, too.”
The way he said it, the weight of it, made something ache inside you, like a deep hollow was opening up in your chest. You swallowed hard, wishing for something—anything—to ease the growing pressure behind your ribcage.
You wanted him to tell you more, to say something that would make sense of all this. But you didn’t know how to ask for that, didn’t even know what you wanted him to say.
“Because you don’t want to be the last one standing?”
The silence that followed was almost suffocating. Azriel’s shadows seemed to quiet around you both.
Then, he gave you a half-smile—sad, lopsided, but somehow more real than anything he’d shown you in a long time. Not for months. Not since he began dating Selene.
“Something like that.”
Before you could dwell on his words, on why they made you feel sad, disappointed even, Azriel finished packing up the kit and turned toward you.
“All done,” he said.
You blinked, pulled out of your thoughts, and nodded. “Oh. Cool. Thank you.”
You looked down at your hands, your fingers brushing over the growing bruises on your knuckles. Your hair fell forward, partially hiding your face, and before you could move it out of the way, one of Azriel’s shadows darted forward, tugging at the strand. You glanced up as he gently called the shadow back with a subtle motion.
“So... how do I look?”
Azriel's eyes flicked over you, the corner of his mouth quirking up as he reached forward, his hand brushing that same strand of hair from your face.
“Tough,” he said, slowly moving the strand back. “I think the bandages really bring out your eyes.”
And even though he’d done it a million times before, as Azriel tucked your hair behind your ear, something inside you cracked right open.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
Part Five
authors note:
tending to wounds scene!!! tending to wounds scene!! mor has both bracelets??!? az and selene are done?!?! he's being weirdly calm abt the whole thing?!?! reader is THINKINNN...
now begins the fun time of reader wanting to let az grovel (bc he has entered his groveling era) but also overthinking everything and wanting him to just....go away. also fun time of reader having to prove to everyone that despite things she may...or may not... feel, her intentions with Az were neverr driven jealousy hehe
so fun!!! i have some fun ideas guys. thank yall for reading <3 i wonder if you can guess what might happen.... there are a few hints
permanent tag list 🫶🏻:
@rhysandorian @itsswritten @lilah-asteria @georgiadixon @glam-targaryen
@cheneyq @darkbloodsly @pit-and-the-pen @azrielsbbg @evergreenlark
@marina468 @azriels-human @book-obsessed124 @bubybubsters @starswholistenanddreamsanswered
@feyretopia @ninthcircleofprythian @azrielrot @justyouraveragekleemain @marigold-morelli
@mrsjna @anarchiii @alittlelostalittlefound
@melissat1254 @secretsicanthideanymore
@m4tthewmurd0ck @beardburnsupersoldiers @isnotwhatyourethinking @tothestarsandwhateverend @raginghellfire
@angel-graces-world-of-chaos @acoazlove @paradisebabey @inkedinshadows @mellowmusings
@paankhaleyaaar @curiosandcourioser @thisrandombitch @casiiopea2 @w0nderw0manly
@rottenroyalebooks @jurdanpotter @casiiopea2 @gamarancianne @weesablackbeak
@booksaremyescapeworld @knoxic @wynintheclouds @dacrethehalls @louisa-harrier
#azriel x reader#azriel fanfic#azriel fanfiction#azriel acotar#azriel x you#azriel x y/n#acotar fanfic#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotarfandom#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#a court of thorns and roses#azriel one shot#acotar x reader#acotar oneshot#acotar writing#azriel fic#azriel x reader drabble#azriel drabble#azriel x reader angst#awsf?
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Simon grinned at himself through the mirror like a stupid teenager in the changing room as Price, god bless this man and his father figure behavior, tugged on his tie to keep it straight and clean.
Wedding Day had come. His wedding day had come.
“Mate, you must be shakin’ with excitement to marry the pretty face.” Gaz grinned from his spot on the couch, all three of them dressed in their best attire. Even Soap hadn’t complained once about wearing a tie.
Simon’s mind wandered to you in the other room, he hadn’t seen you since last night, tradition, that’s what they called it.
He hoped you were having a blast, because you had to spend so many days and nights over the wedding plans that he had to get you to the hospital once after you broke down from exhaustion.
“Anyone ever thought big bad ol’ Ghost gets married?” Soap teased as he rummaged through the drawers at the desk. What exactly was he searching? Simon didn’t know or maybe he was too happy to question his best friend’s motives for now, they usually end in chaos and today was meant no chaos.
“I always believed Simon would find the one true love one day.” Price nodded and patted Simon’s chest, telling him he was done with the tie.
“Liar.” Gaz laughed and shook his head. “If you want to know who always believed in you, Lieutenant, that’s me. Ol’ Captain and MacTavish over here said you would die a virgin. We got a bet running for a while.”
Simon wasn’t even surprised or mad, maybe tomorrow, or the week after. But tonight he wanted to be on Cloud Nine and looking through the pink tinted glasses of love. Tonight he would say ‘yes’ to the person he loved the most, the one that kept him alive and sane and put up with his antics.
“I’m getting married.” He smiled at himself in the mirror.
“You’re getting married, son.” Price looked at him, through the mirror, a proud smile hidden under the beard.
A minute later his phone rang, your name and picture on the screen.
“Yes? Everything alright, darling?” Simon asked and looked at Price, worry flashing behind his brown eyes.
“I’m scared, Simon. I… I know this will sound crazy and you probably think I’m mad. But… I wanna run away.” You say, followed by a shaky breath. “But at the same time I don’t wanna run away but stay and marry you. Does it make sense?”
Simon relaxed immediately, you were nervous, as you should be. Just like him.
“How about this then, darling, we run away together until you know what you want.” He grinned and picked up his suit jacket.
Soap and Gaz were gasping at him.
“Let’s run away together and if you still feel like running, we blew off this party. And if not, we come back, say yes to each other tonight and live our happily ever after.”
Gaz asked if he was insane. Soap was looking between Simon and Price, who simply had the time of his life while opening the door for Simon to leave.
“Are you sure… do you… I mean…?” You started to ramble and mutter under your breath.
“Darling… For you I would go through hell and back. I am not complete without you anymore. There was a time before you, sure. But there will be no time after you. Together.” Simon spoke gently and could see through the phone who your cheeks turned pink and tears pricked your eyes. “I’ll be out in two minutes, don’t let me wait.”
(Spoiler, in the end Simon and you got married surrounded by friends and family. Price lost a bet to Laswell because they both know you two and knew you would pull such a stunt. Soap had gained a few more grey hairs than necessary and Gaz was pretty sure this was some kind of punishment, why else would you two pull something like that.)
#cod mwii#cod x gn!reader#simon riley#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley#ghost x you#cod mw2#cod x you#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley drabble#simon ghost riley x reader
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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ we listen & we don’t judge .𖥔 ݁ ˖
☘︎ . . . genre. fluff
☘︎ . . . pairings. bakugou x influencer!reader
⤿ bakugou and yn did the we listen and we don’t judge trend.
“Why the hell are we doing this again?” Bakugou grumbled, arms crossed as he sat on the edge of the couch, glaring at your phone like it personally offended him. You were fiddling with the tripod, humming a happy tune, completely unaffected by his usual sour mood.
“Because it’s fun, Katsuki,” you chirped, stepping back to check the angle. “And because I said so.”
“Tch. Stupid trend,” he muttered, but his scowl faltered when you gave him that look—the one where your eyes sparkled with excitement. “Fine, whatever. Let’s get this over with.”
You grinned, plopping down beside him and nudging his shoulder. “See? That wasn’t so hard. Now remember the rules—‘we listen, and we don’t judge.’”
“Like I’d judge you,” he scoffed, though his ears turned a faint pink. “Just hit record already.”
You hit the record button and waved at the camera. “Okay, we’re doing the ‘We Listen and Don’t Judge’ challenge! I’ll start!” Turning to him, you smiled mischievously. “Alright, Katsuki. The first time I saw you in your hero costume, I thought your gauntlets looked like giant grenade-shaped marshmallows.”
He blinked at you, his jaw dropping. “Marshmallows?! What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”
“They’re poofy!” you laughed, covering your mouth. “Like, in a cute way! I love them now, though!”
“You think Dynamight—the badass hero—looks cute?!” he snapped, his glare sharp enough to cut steel. “Unbelievable.”
“Hey! We listen, and we don’t judge!” you reminded him, trying not to giggle at how genuinely offended he looked.
“Fine,” he muttered, leaning back against the couch. “My turn. That time you made me tea when I was sick? I dumped it down the sink because I thought it looked weird.”
Your jaw dropped. “Are you kidding me?! I made that tea with so much love! I even Googled the recipe!”
“It looked like sludge, YN,” he shot back, smirking now. “I wasn’t gonna risk dying over tea.”
“Wow, Katsuki. Wow,” you deadpanned, trying to hide your laugh. “We listen, and we don’t judge, right?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, waving his hand. “Your turn.”
You tapped your chin, pretending to think hard. “Okay, remember that time you thought the washing machine was broken because it kept making weird noises?”
“Don’t tell me…” he said, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.
“It wasn’t broken,” you admitted, biting your lip. “I accidentally put one of your gloves in there, and it got stuck.”
“What?!” he groaned, throwing his head back. “Are you serious?! I spent an hour fixing that stupid thing!”
“Whoops,” you said innocently, leaning away from him as he glared at you. “We listen, and we don’t judge!”
“Whatever,” he grumbled. “Last one, and we’re done.”
You raised an eyebrow, curious about what he’d say. He smirked, leaning forward slightly. “Remember that time I told you I couldn’t hang out because I had extra patrol shifts?”
You nodded slowly. “Yeah…?”
“I lied,” he confessed. “I stayed home because I wanted to finish watching that stupid rom-com you made me start. It was too good, alright?!”
You gasped dramatically, clapping your hands. “You mean The Proposal?! Oh my god, Katsuki! You liked it!”
“Shut up!” he snapped, cheeks blazing. “I didn’t say I liked it—I said it was decent.”
“You were laughing so hard at the Sandra Bullock scenes!” you teased, scooting closer to poke his cheek. “Admit it—you’re a closet rom-com fan!”
“Like hell I am!” he barked, swatting your hand away. “Next time, we’re watching something with explosions.”
“Sure, sure,” you said, rolling your eyes. “But you’re not off the hook yet—what’s your favorite part of the movie?”
“I’m not answering that,” he muttered, crossing his arms.
“Come on, Katsuki,” you teased, leaning against his shoulder. “We listen, and we don’t judge.”
He grumbled something under his breath, refusing to meet your gaze. Finally, he muttered, “The grandma dancing part was kinda funny.”
You burst out laughing, grabbing his arm as he groaned in embarrassment. “Oh my god, you’re so cute!”
“Shut up, idiot,” he growled, but his lips twitched into a small, begrudging smile as he pulled you closer. “This trend’s stupid, but I guess it wasn’t that bad.”
You smiled up at him, resting your head against his shoulder. “Admit it—you had fun.”
“Maybe,” he said, wrapping an arm around you. “But don’t think I’ll do another one of these dumb trends.”
“Whatever you say, Dynamight,” you teased, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek as the camera caught his flustered reaction.
“Cut the damn recording already!” he barked, his blush deepening.
#jxwl4k#x reader#anime#fanfic#mha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#my hero academia#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou fluff#bnha bakugo katsuki#bakugou x y/n#bakugou fanfiction#katsuki bakugou#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugo mha#mha katsuki bakugo#katsuki x y/n#bakugou katuski x reader#katsuki x you#bnha oneshot#bnha#mha oneshot#mha
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Teacher's Pet
Joel Miller x virgin f!reader
Summary: 25 years old, anxiety-ridden, and still a virgin, you ask your friend Joel for advice on your upcoming date. But you're more of a...hands-on learner. And he's more than happy to help.
Warnings: PWP, unbalanced power dynamics, virgin!reader, neighbor/bff/more experienced! Joel, age gap, first kiss, virginity loss, fingering, oral (f receiving), frequent check-ins, soo much banter and Joel is a menace also so soft and sweet :')....(ends on a cliffhanger but there will be a part two I swear).
w/c: 7.7k idk what happened
a/n: I am resurfacing for your monthly reminder that I do in fact still write!! Inspiration for this came out of literally nowhere but I took it and RAN with it and I think I like it?? As always, thank you to my baby love @undrthelights for helping me with this and always listening to my rambling and for being my biggest enabler Ilysm
Part Two
my masterlist
"Fine! What if, hypothetically speaking of course, you were to, hypothetically, give me a, um, hypothetical, lesson or whatever." Your heart is pounding so hard you can feel your pulse throb in your neck pound in your ears. You slowly drag your hands away from your face and look at him. He stares right back at you, brows furrowed. "A what?" "Forget it. forget I said anything,” you mutter, shaking your head. "No no wait, hang on, what do you mean? A lesson? Like a…a sex lesson?”
"Seriously, Joel. Fuck off" you snap but with no bite or heat behind it. You bring the sweating bottle of beer to your lips and finish the rest of the now lukewarm liquid off in one gulp.
"What? I just find it hard to believe that you've never even had a kiss. Didn't you go to high school? Didn't you ever get invited to a party? Didn't you go to college? College kids do the do like all the time”
"Clearly not all the time" you mutter, a tad bitterly.
Joel raises his hands defensively and takes a sip of his own beer. "Just seems crazy is all. There's gotta be some chick or dude out there willing to take pity on you and pop your cherry."
You audibly gag at his choice of words. "I don't need a pity fuck, thanks." You stand from the couch and head over to the fridge. The bottles of cold alcohol inside are calling your name and you want something that will help soothe your nerves. You're not a big drinker, but when Joel is prying into your love life like he is now, you wish you were.
"Okay,” he starts from the living room. “Maybe I worded that wrong. What I meant to say was, there's gotta be someone out there who would be more than willing to show you a good time."
You groan and let your forehead fall against the fridge door. "That's the whole point! I came here to get advice for my date, someone who might actually be interested in me, and all you've done is make fun of me for not having fucked anyone yet. So thanks, Joel. You're a real pal."
You push away from the fridge and slam the door shut, a second beer in hand.
"Alright, alright, calm down." He says, hands in the air as if you were holding him at gunpoint as you head back to the couch. "Look, if this guy really likes you then he's not gonna care. Probably won't even be able to tell if you are or aren't."
"You think so?" You ask hopefully.
"Well, I mean, unless you're like... super bad."
Your heart drops into your stomach and you glare at him, "Joel."
"Oh come on, I'm kidding. You're not gonna be bad, okay? Just, go into it with an open mind and just relax. If he tries something you're not comfortable with or makes you feel weird, tell him. And if he gets pissy, dump his ass."
"That simple, huh?" You scoff.
"Well, yeah. You're the one who made it complicated by thinking it was a big deal."
"It is a big deal, Joel! I know nothing!
"Nothing? You ain’t ever watched porn? Jesus, I had no idea you were such a prude."
You can't stop yourself from rolling your eyes and slapping the back of your hand against his arm. He yelps and laughs, rubbing his arm.
"I've watched porn before" you retort.
"What kind?" he asks with a wiggle of his brows.
"None of your fucking business" you respond, feeling your face heat up.
Joel's lips quirk into a shit-eating grin and you're quick to smack him again.
"Okay okay, sorry!" he says through his laughter. "So what exactly are you afraid of?"
You're not really sure how to answer. It's a combination of so many things, most of which are irrational fears and insecurities. Sure you've seen it all done before, but you're well aware that none of it is realistic. At least, not completely. And just the fact that you're freshly 25 years old without a single notch in your bedpost makes you dizzy with anxiety. It's not like you're saving yourself or anything, it's just that hook up culture has never agreed with you and there's never been an opportunity that made you feel like it was the right one. That is until now, with your cute coworker who you thought was miles out of your league asking you out on a third date. And now, the prospect of being in bed with him is looming over you like a dark cloud and the last thing you want to do is mess it up.
"I guess, I'm just afraid that he's gonna be disappointed, or I'm gonna weird him out, or I'm gonna do something wrong and embarrass myself.” Joel nods along and listens. "And if it is bad then we still have to work with each other and then what if it's awkward and everyone knows about it and then he hates me and--"
"Okay, whoa slow down there, buddy" Joel says, putting a hand on your shoulder. "One, you're overthinking this. You're literally thinking like, five steps ahead of what's actually going on. It's a date. And even if it does end up in the bedroom, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. No one's forcing you, okay? He can't. No one can."
"I know, but I want to," you reply quietly.
"Alright. Then do."
"I don't know howwww!! " you whine, flopping backwards into the couch.
Joel groans and sits up a little straighter, scrubbing a hand down his face.
"Well, there's no magic trick, I don't have a secret sex manual I'm holding out on ya."
You sigh, shoulders sagging as you look over at him. The idea comes out of nowhere, well, not exactly from nowhere, but it pops in your head so fast that you then have to bite your tongue before the words bubbling up from your throat come tumbling out.
It's not a bad idea, not necessarily.
You've been good friends with Joel ever since you moved in next door last year. An unlikely pairing, a 40 year old contractor and an almost 25 year old office worker. But after offering him a six pack as part of introducing yourself to the neighbors, you'd gotten along fabulously. He fixes things around your house and you send him home with hot dinners and warm, gooey cookies and you watch movies together almost every Friday night.
It's an easy friendship, open and honest and supportive, and Joel has never given you reason not to trust him. He's a good guy, if not a little brash, but you know deep down he means well. And it doesn't hurt that he's objectively attractive, with his tall and sturdy frame, strong, calloused hands, dark messy curls....It's not a bad idea.
It's an absolutely insane idea.
You continue to stare at him, clenching your teeth together to hold back the question sitting on the tip of your tongue.
"What?" he says, looking back at you.
"Nothing" you mutter, eyes flicking away.
"You've got that face you make when you're about to say something really stupid, so just get it out."
You glare at him again, not enjoying the way he can read you so well.
"I wasn't gonna say anything."
"Well now you're lying."
"I'm not."
"You're doing it again!"
"Doing what?!"
"That face!"
"I'm not making a face!"
"Yes you are! Just spit it out!"
You groan and hide your face in your hands. You blame it on the one beer even though you know you’re not anywhere close to being drunk because how else would you justify what you’re about to say? You wait a moment, thinking about the weight of it but your mouth opens before you can stop yourself.
"Fine! What if, hypothetically speaking of course, you were to, hypothetically, give me a, um, hypothetical, lesson or whatever."
Your heart is pounding so hard you can feel your pulse throb in your neck and hear it in your ears. You slowly drag your hands away from your face and look at him. He stares right back at you, brows furrowed.
"A what?"
"Forget it. forget I said anything,” you mutter, shaking your head.
"No no wait, hang on, what do you mean? A lesson? Like a…a sex lesson?”
His eyes are wide, and he looks incredulous. You can't blame him, because the more time that passes between your suggestion and now, the more ridiculous the idea seems.
"I’m sorry, that was…It was stupid. Pretend I didn't say anything. Let's just watch a movie." You move to grab the remote, but Joel's hand covers yours, stopping you.
"Is that what you want?"
You look at him, searching his expression for any sign of disgust or apprehension. But all you can see is the same Joel you've known for months, patient, warm, and understanding.
"I know. I know it's stupid. But I can't get this date out of my head, Joel. It's all I can think about and the more I do, the more worried I get and I just don't want to fuck it up. And I know we're friends and this is weird and gross, but I just thought that... maybe, I could have some practice, so to speak."
He doesn't say anything. Just keeps looking at you, the panic rising in your chest the longer the silence stretches. You start to fidget, wringing your hands together in your lap.
"I'm sorry, that was way out of line" you say, moving to stand up, your skin sweaty and hot with embarrassment and your feet ready to run out the door and never come back.
But Joel catches your wrist, gently pulling you back down to sit next to him.
"Joel" you whine, not wanting him to humiliate you any further.
"It's okay, come here."
His voice is softer than before, and his eyes are kind. You let him pull you closer, the two of you sitting knee to knee. You can't bring yourself to look him in the eyes, not with your cheeks and the tips of your ears burning like they are, but Joel doesn't push. He simply moves his hand from your wrist, sliding it into yours. His palms are rough and warm, and the simple touch alone is comforting.
"You really wanna do this?” he asks softly. You can feel his eyes boring into you. “I mean, I'm not exactly a prize winning catch. And it's not like there's a shortage of willing men out there."
You shrug and chew the inside of your lip.
"Yeah, but you're my friend and I...I trust you."
There's another pause, and you wish that you could just disappear into the couch and erase this moment from your memory.
"How drunk are you?" he asks, glancing at the beer bottle on the coffee table.
"You saw me finish one bottle. And half of another. I’m barely tipsy."
"Not drunk?”
"Nope."
"You're gonna remember this tomorrow."
"Uh huh."
"And you still want to?"
You groan for the millionth time and squeeze his hand.
"Yes I want to! Look, if you don't want to then that's fine. It was just a dumb suggestion and we can just forget this ever happened."
He hums, considering your words. His hand slips out of yours, and you think that's it, you've scared him off and washed the friendship down the drain. That you'll have to hide from him from now on, that you'll have to pack your things up and move because the mortification would be too much, and that he'll hate you, and—
His two fingers sliding under chin surprise you, and he tilts your head up. He's looking down at you with that same even expression, eyes big, soft, and warm as he slides his hand over to cup your jaw in his palm.
"If you want to stop at any point, just say so, okay? I won't be upset and we can go back to the way things were before. Got it?"
You nod, your throat suddenly too tight to speak. His thumb sweeps over your cheekbone, the tender touch is enough to make your heart skip a beat. There’s no way this is actually happening. That your first kiss is going to be with your 40 year old menace of a neighbor. That you’re going to, how did you put it, get a sex lesson from him. His gaze flicks down to your lips and back up to your eyes and you’re positive you’re no longer able to breathe.
"Can I kiss you?" he asks softly. You nod.
You're sure he can hear the thumping of your heart in his own ears as he leans down. His other hand comes to rest on your hip and when his lips touch yours, a soft, tentative pressure, you're not prepared for the electricity that shoots through you.
He's barely done anything and already you feel like you're floating. Your own hands reach out to clutch his shirt, keeping him close, afraid he'll pull away and leave you cold and wanting if you don't. But he stays put, pressing himself against you, his lips working gently against yours. You follow his lead, kissing him back while trying not to overthink it.
It's nothing like the kisses in the movies or the books, where fireworks explode behind your eyelids or where your foot pops up in the air. It's far more subdued, more quiet and subtle. But the warmth that pools low in your belly and the goosebumps that erupt on your skin when his tongue slides against the seam of your lips, light and quick, makes you absolutely melt.
He pulls back before you can really react, and you're left with a dizzying rush of both blistering desire and excruciating anxiety. You want to pull him back in and never let him go. But your heart is beating so fast you can hardly breathe, your nerves are buzzing, and the urge to run and hide is nearly paralyzing.
"Was it bad?" you ask tentatively, cheeks heated.
"No" he replies, giving your hip a squeeze as a smirk plays on his lips. "It was fucking awful. Worst kiss of my life"
"Shut up!" you hiss, pushing him away with a hand on his chest. He laughs, the sound easing some of the tension in your body.
"I'm just teasing" he says, voice dropping lower. "C'mere, we can work on it."
His lips find yours again, and you try not to smile into the kiss but it's hard when you can feel the way his lips are quirked up as well. It doesn’t take much else to get you to relax and let yourself fall into the moment, into the gentle press of his mouth and the warm hands on your hip and your cheek. He swipes his tongue against your lips again, his fingers pressing lightly into the hinge of your jaw to tilt your head back and coax your lips apart.
You let him, sighing as his tongue glides across yours, hot and smooth and sweet. Your hands slide up his chest, finding purchase around his shoulders, and when you move forward, pushing yourself against him, he grunts softly but lets you. He kisses you until the both of you are gasping for air, and when he pulls back, his lips are wet and red and you're certain yours must be as well.
"Better?" you ask, a bit breathless.
"Getting there" he answers with, his breath warm where it fans across your cheek.
"You're such a liar" you say with a goofy smile.
"Yeah, I know. Now try again, practice makes perfect.”
You roll your eyes but lean back in nonetheless. It's a bit more heated this time, the feeling of his teeth nibbling on your bottom lip making you squirm. His hand rounds over your hip, palm smoothing to the small of your back to pull you closer, the heat of his body radiating through your clothes and warming your skin. Your hands move on their own accord, no thought behind the action as they slide up to his shoulders and then his neck, your fingers finding home in the curls at the base of his skull. When you give them a slight tug, you're rewarded with a muffled grunt from Joel. Emboldened, you pull back, lips swollen and tingling.
"You’re a good kisser,” you pant. "Is that something people usually say?"
"When it’s true" he says, grinning at you. "And since I know you're gonna ask, I'd say that was a C+, maybe a B-."
You scoff but blush furiously at the smile he flashes, his eyes crinkling in the corners.
"Well then, tell me what to do next. What do I need to know?"
Joel hums as he thinks for a moment.
"What do you want to do?"
You stare at him for a second, blinking.
"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you" you say, shaking your head a bit.
"Well, how far do you want to take this?"
You swallow hard, suddenly feeling very shy. You can’t deny that when the idea popped in your head it was accompanied by the mental image of you naked, spread out on his bed, but the actual act of asking him, or better yet, actually doing it is... intimidating to say the least. Are you really about to let him go all the way, to see you bare and vulnerable, let him pop your cherry as he would disgustingly put it? All just to “prepare” for a date with a guy who might not even like you that way?
Yeah, probably.
"All the way" you answer. “I want to go all the way”
He doesn’t pounce on you like you expected, doesn’t press his lips against yours in a frenzied kiss that you had half hoped for. Instead, he simply looks at you, his brown eyes boring into yours, searching.
"Are you sure? You can always say no and you're not gonna lose me as a friend if this isn’t what you actually want. I don’t want you thinking that."
You can't help the laugh that bubbles up and slips out, because of course Joel, your kind, thoughtful Joel, would say that. He's a good man. A great one, even.
"Yes, I'm sure. But if you don't want to, I get it, I can just leave and-"
Joel laughs, the sound traveling up from deep in his chest, the rumble vibrating against you.
"Sweetheart, I wouldn't be doin’ this if I didn't want to. Just makin’ sure this is what you really want."
"I want it.”
He squeezes your hip and swipes a thumb over your cheekbone once again.
“Alright then.” He nods, firm and resolute, and then looks around the room. “ We’re not doing it here, though. If you're getting the full Joel Miller experience, we're gonna do it right.”
Your eyes roll reflexively, but your heart picks up its pace regardless.
"I’m not gonna do anything if you call it that ever again."
"Fine, fine,” he relents. “Let me show you what a good, thorough fucking feels like. Better?"
Your jaw drops, and he's laughing at you, his body shaking with amusement.
"Fuck you" you grumble, shoving him away while trying to hide your coy smile.
"Yeah, that's what I'm hoping for," he says with a wide, self-assured grin.
"I'm leaving" you declare with a false sense of offense as you rise to your feet. Joel is quick to do the same and before you can take a single step away, he slips a finger through the belt loop of your jeans and tugs you back into him, wrapping an arm around your waist.
"I’ll stop, I’ll stop. I'm sorry" he says, not sounding it one bit.
You huff, but let him pull you closer until you’re pressed against his chest and you have to tilt your head back to look at him.
"I’ll be good. I promise."
"Liar"
"Well, yeah. But I can promise that I'll make you feel good."
You can't help the giggle that spills out and he kisses it away, his lips warm and plush and sweet against yours. The hand not resting on your lower back comes up, curling around the nape of your neck and keeping you close. You sink into him, and the fog creeps in again, dulling the rest of the world, making it seem fuzzy and distant, like the memory of a dream. All you can focus on is him, the warm solid weight of him against you, the strong arms holding you, the way his mouth moves against yours. And then he’s pulling back all too soon and you have to stifle a whine.
"Come on" he says, tugging at your hand.
His bedroom is dim, the little lamp on his nightstand and the faint glow of the moon through the curtains providing the only light. You swallow and take a deep breath as you step inside, your bare toes digging into the plush carpet, his hand warm and large where it grips yours.
He holds onto you as he sits on the edge of the bed. You step forward, letting him pull you between his knees. His hands settle on your hips, and you can feel their heat through the fabric of your shirt.
He doesn’t ask if you're sure again and you’re grateful because you’re not sure if you could form any kind of response right now. Instead, he slides his hands up and under your shirt, fingers dancing across your skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps. Your breath hitches as his hands smooth over your ribs and around to your back, the tips of his fingers mapping out the curve of your spine, skimming over each notch and bump. They climb higher, the fabric of your shirt bunching around his wrists.
“Can I take this off, baby?”
Your heart jumps to your throat but you nod anyway. He grabs the hem and tugs your shirt up and and you lift your arms so he can slip it off over your head. He tosses it aside, the fabric falling to the floor beside the bed. You’re left exposed, vulnerable and bare, save for the worn out bra you wear, a few too many washes and a few years past its prime.
Your hands itch where they hang by your side with the instinct to cover yourself, hide the imperfections that you know so well, the stretch marks, the softness of your stomach, the way the cups of your bra are just a bit too small and spill over the tops.
But then he’s pressing his lips to the space just above your navel, his scruff tickling your skin and making the muscles in your abdomen jump and twitch. His hands find your waist again, and when his lips continue their path upwards, his palms follow, skimming up your sides, thumbs tracing the outline of your ribs before stopping at the band of your bra.
"This too?" he asks, voice quiet and husky.
"Yeah" you answer with a squeak, and he grins like a kid in a candy store.
His fingers undo the clasp deftness that makes your knees go weak, the straps slipping from your shoulders and the whole thing sliding down your arms, landing somewhere near your shirt.
"God, baby, look at you" he murmurs, his hands cupping the underside of your breasts, his thumbs sweeping over the tops and then down the slope and around your nipple. Your breath hitches, the gentle touch sending a shiver up your spine. "You're fucking perfect."
The praise is unexpected and it sends a jolt of heat through your core. You whimper quietly and his hands are on you again, the calloused palms rough on the soft skin of your breasts. He kneads the flesh, squeezing gently before rolling your nipples between his fingers, pulling and pinching and teasing.
He pulls you closer and ducks his head, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. He looks up at you through his lashes, eyes dark and hooded, and his pupils blown wide with desire.
"Can I?" he asks.
"Please."
He leans in and wraps his lips around a peaked nipple, his tongue swirling around the sensitive nub, the gentle heat of his mouth on your skin making your knees weak.
His mouth works on one breast, tongue flicking and teasing while his free hand continues its work on the other. Pleasure builds and coils deep inside, the sensation unfamiliar but certainly not unwelcome. You whimper and he pulls away, releasing your nipple with a wet pop before giving it a sweet parting kiss.
He turns his attention to the other, his teeth grazing over the stiff peak and drawing a whine from your lips. He sighs when your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling at the strands until he groans softly against you. He sucks your other nipple into his mouth, the flat of his tongue pressing against it and dragging up and around, swirling and flicking. You’re already breathless, panting, a thin sheen of sweat glistening on your forehead.
"Feels good, Joel," you whisper shyly.
"I know, honey" he says, a soft smile pulling at his lips when he pulls away. "Feel good anywhere else?"
He doesn't wait for a response, simply slips a hand between your thighs, cupping you through the denim, the simple action making you squeak.
"Here, huh?" he says, the heel of his palm pressing against you.
You gasp softly and nod, biting your lip, too shy to say anything.
"Get on the bed, baby."
You comply, crawling onto the mattress and scooting backwards towards the pillows, sitting at the head of the bed as you watch him. His eyes never leave you as he pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor. Your heart thumps as you stare at his bare chest, his tanned skin dotted with a light dusting of salt and pepper hair. He's broad, his shoulders thick and chest solid. Your fingers burn with the urge to reach out and touch him, so you do, extending a tentative, slightly shaky hand.
He watches you closely, eyes flitting down to the palm pressed against his chest before meeting yours again, his mouth curling into a smile.
"You can touch" he says, reaching down to curl a hand around your wrist and bringing it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the center of your palm before guiding your hand back down to his chest. "I think most people would enjoy that."
"You're having entirely too much fun with this,” you mumble while your fingers spread out across his pec.
"It is fun" he counters, his own hand sliding up the inside of your thigh, thumb pressing against the seam of your jeans and rubbing up and down. "But it'll be more fun once these come off"
Your lips part, a puff of air rushing out.
"You gonna take them off?" you ask, the words slipping out, bold and unbidden.
He grins, his brow quirking up.
"Look at you, being all bossy"
"You like it" you say, finally feeling some of the anxiety slipping away, the familiar and comfortable banter between the two of you slipping into place in a new, unfamiliar situation.
His smile takes up nearly his whole face as moves closer.
“I sure do.”
He looms over you, bracing himself on an elbow next to your head before ducking down to kiss you, his tongue easily slipping into your mouth, warm and insistent. You sigh into it, your hands finding the warm, bare skin of his back, muscles gliding beneath your palms as you slide them up and around, fingertips digging into his shoulders. He's so warm and solid and you can't help the little noise that slips out, a soft, needy moan. You're about to break the kiss and beg him to touch you, give you something, anything, but he pulls back before you can.
"Impatient. I like that too" he says, voice barely above a whisper.
He kisses the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then down your neck, his beard scraping against your skin. He continues his path, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses across your collarbones and down the valley between your breasts, his beard tickling your sternum.
His palm presses into the top of your thigh, and you instinctively open your legs for him, his hand immediately moving to cup you through the denim, thick fingers pressing against the seam and the bundle of nerves just below. Your hips rock up, seeking more pressure and he grins, entirely too pleased with himself right now.
You huff, and he laughs, the sound rumbling in his chest, but he relents, undoing the button and zipper of your jeans and tugging the fabric down, revealing the pair of pink panties underneath.
Joel sits up, pulling your jeans down your legs and letting them drop off the side of the bed, the sound of the denim hitting the floor indicating that you've officially crossed a line that neither of you can come back from. But if the hungry, desperate look on his face and the way you're practically vibrating underneath him are any indication, neither of you want to.
"I'll start with just my fingers, yeah?" he says, his hands running up the insides of your thighs, touch light and teasing, the tips of his fingers brushing the edge of your panties. You nod dumbly, at a complete loss for words right now.
He ducks his head, his lips landing on the smooth skin stretched over your hip bone. You squirm, ticklish, and he grins. His mouth is a great distraction from his hand, which has found its way back in between your legs, his fingers now pressing against damp fabric.
"Shit" he curses, his touch firm. "Fuckin' soaked already. Am I just that good?" he quips with a smirk.
"Jesus do you ever shut up" you gripe, but the effect is ruined by the whimper that escapes you when his thumb sweeps up, pressing hard against your clit.
"Oh, that's a pretty sound" he murmurs, repeating the motion to pull out another one, your hips bucking against his hand.
"Now," he starts, his tone shifting to the same one he uses when he's about to impart some life lesson. "This guy you're gonna see, or any man for that matter, should always take care of you before himself. That's just common fuckin' sense. And if he doesn't, you send him on his way" he continues. "Because a man that don't wanna see a woman get off is no fuckin' man at all"
You're about to interrupt, tell him he's an idiot and ask him to please, please, get on with it, but his fingers sliding under the elastic of your panties, swiftly pulling them down your legs steals the breath from your lungs. Your pulse sky rockets and you shift underneath him, crossing your thighs in instinctual effort to hide yourself from him.
"M'sorry I didn't shave or anything" you blurt out, your throat tight with anxiety and embarrassment once again
Joel just shakes his head as he pries your legs apart.
"Baby, I could not give less of a shit about that."
"But-"
"No" he says, the word firm, an edge of command to his tone. "You’re not apologizin’ for that. And if a man gives a shit, he's a fuckin' child who doesn't deserve the honor of bein' between these thighs" he says, pushing your knees further apart.
You nod and bite your lip, the words that are just so very Joel, settling in your chest and easing the tension in your body. You let out a long, slow breath and relax, trying to ease the nervousness.
"There ya go" he says, his fingers dancing along your slit, gathering the slick pooling there. You shudder at the gentle touch, your hips rolling up just a bit before you force them back down into the mattress, trying to keep yourself still.
"Nuh-uh. None of that" he says, immediately noticing the movement. He slides his free hand under you, his palm pushing into the small of your back and encouraging you to move again, to lean into your pleasure. "You take what you want, baby. Show me how good it feels. That's all I wanna see."
You squirm and whimper, the simple, almost lazy touch driving you insane. You've touched yourself before, brought yourself over the edge while imagining what it would be like to have the things you read about and watch in videos happen to you. But you've never managed to make yourself feel this good, never felt pleasure so intense, never felt a burning pressure in your abdomen so demanding that it radiates all the way to the tips of your fingers and toes.
And he's barely touched you.
"How's that feel?"
You can't even form the words, so you just nod and hum, the sound a mix of a whimper and a moan, your hips rolling up against his palm. He chuckles, and then the pressure increases, the friction building, his fingers slipping down, collecting more of your wetness to ease the drag against your skin.
He moves his fingers down, down, down, the tip of one circling your entrance, gathering the wetness pooling there. You whine loudly, any shame and modesty you once had replaced entirely with desperate need and pure desire.
"Please, Joel" you whisper, voice shaky.
"I gotcha" he says, dipping his fingertip in, just barely, and pulling a moan from deep in your chest. "Gonna give you what you need"
You groan, a long, low sound as he slowly sinks his finger into you. It's nothing like your own, so perfectly thick and long/ And you found the spot before, the spot that he curls his finger up into, but never at this angle, never with the perfect amount of pressure that he's applying right now.
"Mmm, look at that" he coos as you clench tightly around his finger.
"Joel, god, feels so good" you whimper pathetically.
"I know, honey, I know."
You clench again, the cockiness and self-assured attitude that usually gets under your skin now ignites your whole body in an entirely different way. He keeps his eyes on your face, watching as your eyes squeeze shut and your mouth drops open, your head tipping back as the pleasure builds.
"Another" you beg, the fullness not nearly enough.
"Greedy girl" he chides, but he pulls his finger out, and slides two back in. You swear that you could come from this alone, but he doesn't let you, the hand that was supporting your lower back disappearing, only to reappear between your thighs, his thumb circling your clit with firm, steady strokes.
White hot pleasure wraps around the base of your spine, the dual sensations of his fingers and his thumb sending you spiraling. The sounds falling from your lips are unrecognizable, high and desperate as your mind goes blissfully blank, your entire focus on the heat coiling in your abdomen. Your eyebrows pinch together and you bury your face in the pillow next to your head, trying to hide the ridiculous expression you're surely making, but you inhale the traces of his shampoo and cologne that cling to the fabric, the scent pushing you even closer to the edge.
You try to hold back. Surely you're not supposed to come this quickly, not just from two fingers and a thumb. Surely that's a sign that you're an easy lay, or too inexperienced, or-
"Just let it happen, baby. I can feel it, Just let go" Joel says, his voice cutting through the thoughts racing through your mind, his fingers crooking inside you and dragging across the spot that makes your hips stutter and a cry fall from your lips.
You can't hold back any longer, the pleasure cresting and crashing down around you. You squeeze his fingers, your back arching, the heels of your feet digging into the mattress as you roll your hips up into his touch, seeking more and more and more. And he gives and gives and gives, working you through it and drawing it out for as long as he can before you melt into the mattress, bones and muscles liquid and warm and satisfied.
He pulls his fingers out, and the sudden emptiness draws a disappointed whine from you, his answering chuckle making you smile.
"That was- fuck" you sigh, not quite capable of coherent thought.
"Absolutely mind-blowing? Yeah I know" he teases. You roll your eyes but don't say anything because it's true, and his cocky grin fades into a soft smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he watches you return to Earth.
"Can I- can I return the favor?" you ask, your gaze flicking down to the noticeable bulge in his jeans.
He grunts and shakes his head.
"Not yet. Got somethin' else in mind."
You frown and push yourself up onto your elbows, watching as he shifts from his position. You're about to ask what he's going to do until he's settling himself on his stomach between your thighs. You suck in a sharp breath as you realize exactly what he's got planned and your heart jumps, anxiety clouding your mind once again.
He rests his cheek on your thigh, his eyes meeting yours.
"Alright?"
You swallow and nod, licking your lips.
"Yeah. Just... no one's ever-"
"Yeah, I got that much, that's why we're here" he says, smiling smugly when you glare at him.
"But what if it's not good? Or I don't taste good? Or-"
"Stop" he says, the single word halting your runaway train of thought. "You need lessons in relaxing, not sex. You're so fucking tense all the time"
"Sorry" you say, immediately cringing.
He sighs, his breath ghosting over the skin of your inner thigh, making you shiver. "What did I say about apologizin'?" he says, his tone slightly sharp.
"I know. Sorry- shit, sorry! Fuck!"
He barks out a laugh and you huff, bringing up both hands to scrub over your face.
"See what I mean?"
"Yes, yes, you're very smart and know everything"
He hums and nips at your thigh.
"Damn right I do."
You want to snark back, but his mouth is moving, his lips trailing down the inside of your thigh and towards where you're aching for him, slick and wet and throbbing. He takes his time, laying kisses on your thighs, hips, and stomach, his scruff scraping the sensitive skin, huffing out a laugh when you start to squirm, your patience wearing thin.
His hands smooth over the soft flesh of your inner thighs, urging you to spread them wider before spreading you open with his thumbs, exposing you completely. You feel exposed, vulnerable, and the urge to close your legs and hide yourself from his gaze is overwhelming, the embarrassment making your skin burn. But before you can even think about closing them, his tongue is on you, sliding up the length of you and circling your clit. The moan that escapes you is embarrassingly loud and high pitched, but the mortification is easily swallowed up by the pleasure.
He hums against you, the sound and the feeling sending a shudder through your body. Your hands grip the pillow behind your head and you try not to buck up into his mouth, but your attempts are futile. He doesn't seem to mind though, in fact you think it spurs him on, his tongue flattening against you and lapping at you messily, the wetness he's coaxed from you smearing across his mouth and chin.
The sound is lewd and obscene, the sloppy, slick noises and the soft grunts and groans that rumble in his chest as he works you up. He pulls back, his breath coming out in pants, his chest heaving as he looks up at you, his eyes dark and hooded.
"Don't know what you were worried about" he says, his voice low and raspy. "You taste fuckin' divine"
His beard is shiny and damp, his lips glistening, hair messy from where your fingers were tangled in it. The sight of him looking so completely disheveled and filthy has you clenching around nothing, the ache almost too much to bear.
He doesn't say anything else, just ducks his head and gets back to work, his mouth moving with a renewed urgency, his hands gripping your thighs and pushing them further apart, allowing him better access.
Your eyes roll back and your mouth falls open, a constant stream of moans and whines and babbling pleas and praises falling from your lips, but you're not really sure what you're saying, not really sure of anything except the intoxicating pleasure coursing through your veins.
You hear him moan, can feel the vibration against your skin, and you glance down at him, and that's a mistake. The sight of him, his eyes closed and brows drawn together in concentration, his cheeks hollowed out as he sucks and nips and laps at you and– is he fucking grinding his hips into the mattress?
You're fucked.
A throaty moan tumbles past your lips as your hips start to rock, a rhythm forming as you chase your orgasm. His hands leave your thighs and he slides one arm up, the weight of it resting against your abdomen to keep you still while his other hand snakes down, fingers dipping inside again, finding the spot that makes you see stars.
"Fuck, Joel, please, oh my god, I'm so- please"
He groans in response, the hand on your stomach pressing down harder to meet the two fingers curling and stroking inside of you. You cry out at the increased pressure right as he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking and swirling his tongue around the bud, his fingers moving faster and faster. Flames lick up your spine and spread throughout your body, threatening to burn you alive.
Your orgasm hits you like a freight train, knocking the wind out of you and turning your limbs to jello. Wave after wave of blinding euphoria crashes over you and all you can do is cling to the pillow and arch your back, your toes curling as he continues to work his fingers and tongue, happily letting you ride his face and grind into his mouth.
He doesn't let up, not until you're a whimpering, trembling mess, physically pushing his head away when it becomes too much. He pulls back reluctantly, a wicked grin plastered to his face, his chin and mouth absolutely soaked. You're panting, struggling to catch your breath as the aftershocks make you shiver despite the content warmth spreading throughout your entire body.You feel sated and sleepy, a bone deep satisfaction making you feel boneless.
But as you come down from your high, rational thoughts start to filter in and you suddenly remember the reason this all started in the first place.
You're here to learn, he should be teaching you how to please a man.
How to please him.
You watch as he gets off the bed and wipes his chin with the back of his hand. Your eyes shamelessly rake over him, the dusty pink flush that decorates his neck and chest, the curve of his belly down to the impressive bulge in his jeans.
You push yourself up, ignoring the way your arms tremble with the effort. He looks at you, his eyes scanning your face no doubt looking for signs of distress.
"You ok?" he asks, eyebrows pinched together in his typical concerned Joel fashion.
"Yeah" you say, a little breathlessly. "But I still want to..."
Your voice trails off and you glance down at his crotch, hoping he gets the message.
"That's alright, baby. It's a lot, we don't-"
"No" you interrupt, a hint of desperation in your voice. "You said you would teach me. Please, Joel. I-I wanna learn" You hope it's a good enough cover to the fact that you really just want him, your original goal forgotten. "I just don't want to embarrass myself" you add, pouting slightly for good measure, praying to god that he can’t detect the underlying want for him and him only.
He watches you for a moment, seemingly contemplating his decision. And then his eyes narrow, because of course he knows. There's never been an instance where you succeeded in lying to this man. He always, always knows when something is off.
"Alright" he says, a slow smile spreading across his face, something mischievous sparkling in his eyes. "Dick sucking class is now in session"
You groan, your face twisting with visible disgust.
"Oh my god, that was terrible."
"What? It's true" he says with a shrug.
"That is- no, no way. Never say those words ever again. Ever." you say, pointing a finger at him accusingly.
"Or what?" he challenges, taking a step towards the bed.
You gulp and lick your lips.
"Or..."
He waits expectantly for a response. You have none, so you just shake your head and look away.
"Yeah, that's what I thought"
You glare at him and then sigh.
"You're a bully"
"Am I?” He asks, taking a step back to give you more room. “ 'Cause you're the one that asked me to teach ya. On your knees, kid. Let's see whatcha got."
You chew on the inside of your cheek, trying to suppress a grin. You don't know how he does it, but his ability to make a joke or a quip out of anything always has a smile tugging at the corner of your lips, even when the jokes are awful and the puns are terrible. Even when the joke is about you getting ready to suck his dick.
"You're a bully and a pervert" you say, sliding off the bed and sliding to your knees, the plush carpet doing a decent job at protecting your joints.
"And proud of it.”
"Pride is a sin."
"So is premarital sex, so I'll see you in hell, honey"
You snort and look up at him from your place on the floor, grinning widely.
"You're ridiculous"
"You love it"
And that's the thing, isn't it?
Because you do. You love his innate ability to make you laugh, to make you smile even when he's about to take your fucking virginity. He knows how to comfort you, how to put you at ease, when to push you with his teasing and when to pull back and let you take control. You've never met a person who has so effortlessly made their way into your heart.
And here you are, on your knees for him under the false pretense of practicing for a man who's name you can't even remember right now.
You shake your head, the motion clearing the thoughts and the emotions that were swirling in your head, the ones that make you want to stand up and kiss him, kiss him until your lips are numb and you're left gasping for air.
"Joel?" you say his name softly.
"Yeah, baby?"
"Teach me."
Part 2 is already in the works I promise hehehe thank you for reading I hope u all enjoy!!
#joel miller smut#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x you#joel miller one shot#joel miller fic#the last of us#tlou fic#joel miller#pedro pascal characters
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I’m a Size Medium, Thanks - 2
Part one: https://www.tumblr.com/snaileer/766471879423885312/im-a-size-medium-thanks
Danny stares into the eyes of what has got to be the grumpiest looking 12-14?10? How tall are children?- year old he’s ever met. And he grew up with Sam!
Danny looks back through the door, hoping to everything that an adult walks through. He is disappointed.
“Well?” The boy snaps, foot tapping.
“Uh, can I help.. you?” Danny says, voice ticking up. That’s what you’re supposed to say at a job right? Or maybe the kid wasn’t supposed to be here, “Do you need to call someone…?” He hopes not, he doesn’t know how or if the shop has a phone, and his… well his is wired through a realm of the dead so enough said there.
“My name is Damian Wayne.” He says primly. And expectantly.
Danny looks outside again, past the neon sign he specifically hadn’t turned on, then back at the Damian kid, blinking. There’s no way this was that ‘Mr.Wayne.’
The kid rolls his eyes impressively well then drops his glare back onto Danny, “Has this absurd incense burned away whatever meager sense you were born with? I am here to have a so-called ‘reading’ with a medium.”
If Danny hadn’t seen this Damian kid walk in with three whisps of shades wrapped around his arms, Danny would have questioned why, but he did, so he doesn’t.
He does, however, say: “Aren’t you a little young… to be like.. talking about death or something?” Though honestly, the incense is a real concern, Danny hadn’t even lit any today, Claire had just left it burning and the whole room was saturated.
“Will you fulfill your job description or not, you peasant?” The kid grits out.
Danny would really rather not. Like really rather not. But nOoo, here he was, waiting for a portal that could show up at any time, pretending he was a medium for a 7 year old just because he could talk to ghosts.
Danny sighs and drags himself around the counter to go into Claire’s weird little seance room. Maybe the fumes will kill him before the embarrassment does.
The kid follows.
Danny drops himself into Claire’s chair with weirdly plush armrests for still being so uncomfortable.
“Alright then, let’s get this over with. I’m Danny, the -ugh- medium. Whatdya wanna know?” Danny says as he kicks his leg out to hit a shade getting agitated and grabby by Damian’s feet. They got way too much of a spiritual boost from this room for Danny to be comfortable with it.
Damian watches him with a raised eyebrow, still not sitting down, “Aren’t you meant to lead the seance?”
Danny’s lip curls in distaste, he huffs a sigh and lets his shoulders drop, opening his mouth to tell this 9-year old something easy about one of his shades and be done-
He spots a sticky note stuck on the crystal ball.
-Danny, don’t forget, the showmanship is important! I trust you know how to meet expectations! Happy first day!
- Claire <3
Danny feels his face go deadpan. He was going to have this woman committed. That’s what he was going to do. She could be studied for the degenerative cognitive effects of being freaking bazonkers.
Danny plucks the note off the crystal ball and crumples it, letting the trash drop to the abyss that is Claire’s plush carpet.
He sighs, looking back up at Damian. The kid snaps his head towards him from where he’d been poking around the curtained walls- weirdo- but Danny beats him to the snappy comment.
“You got any spiritually charged items? Or like… something?” Danny says, taking a guess, he can make the thingy glow, say some nonsense, get paid, and close.
Damian narrows his eyes at him, but slowly moves to sit in the other chair, perched on the edge of the seat. He pulls something from his pocket and sets it on the table.
Pearls.
It’s a clump of shiny white pearls.
Absolutely dripping in ectoplasmic blood stains. So lovely.
Does Claire have biohazard gloves because oh gosh-
Danny hesitantly reaches for the pearls, lifting the strand between two fingers as he looks between it and the 12 year old. “You sure this is what you want to ask about?”
The kid’s glare turns challenging, mocking, “What? Admitting you are nothing but a charlatan?”
Danny grimaces, “Not quite. I mean…” He looks at the pearls again, then at the shade trying to hack away at the kids neck, “There’s definitely someone or something attached to this it’s just… not .. yours.”
“Tt,” the boy clicks his tongue at him, “and how exactly would you know that, charlatan?” Damian levels a mocking look up and down at him.
Danny’s eye twitches as he grimaces a smile, “Part of the job-“ brat. Danny doesn’t say that. Danny can’t say that. Danny has to deal with death obsessed TODDLERS who want to talk about some rando’s gruesome murder just so he can eat tonight. Or find somewhere to sleep. He doubts this will be enough for both.
Maybe if he’s dramatic enough.
Alright get to it then, Danny.
He sighs, dimming the light with Claire’s little remote- he is not so far gone as to turn them green like she had- and actually focusing his energy on the pearl necklace.
“What are you-“
Danny holds up a finger at Damian to silence him, which surprisingly works. He closes his eyes and starts trying to absorb the vibes of ectoplasmic remains as slowly as he can.
Feelings of course come with it and- well what’d ya know, he can definitely feel this attached to a ghost somewhere in this city.
“It’s a woman’s… younger than she should have been when she…”
He can hear Damian scoff, “Obviously, anyone could tell me that.”
Danny rolls his eyes under his eyelids, debating the merits of opening one to glare at him when his eyes are definitely glowing.
“She’s still here but-“ Danny says instead, trying to pull on the connection wandering out into the streets, “She can’t come here here.”
“What do you mean?” The boy snaps.
Danny tries to focus harder on it himself, he’s never done this before, tried to find or communicate with a ghost from an object… it was like Pointdexter and his mirror.
“She’s stuck somewhere… somewhere more important.. it’s dark and narrow and Danny mentally rears back as images flash into his mind. Accompanied of course by a woman’s scream.
An alley. A gun. A man stepping in front of her to protect her- no not her- a kid- Damian- not Damian- looks like-
Danny opens his eyes and drops the necklace. There’s barely any ectoplasm left on it.
Fine with him, he never wants to touch it again. But yuck that means he absorbed it!! Oh ewwww-
“Well?” An impatient voice asks and- oh yeah that’s right, the rude ass kid.
Danny pushes the pearls across the table with a finger and looks up at him, “Woman in an alley, that familiar to you?”
Damian’s eyes narrow, “Anyone who knows who I am could tell me the same.”
Danny snaps, “I don’t-!“ This is a child Danny, a child, he takes a deep breath, “Well she was scared for the kid, and now is… proud of him? There’s a lot of concern there, but she still watches him I guess, so that’s all I got for ya.”
Damian scrutinizes him for a minute, silent. Darn, weren’t mediums supposed to be vague as heck so that anything could apply and the person would find their own meaning? But did it count if he was just translating the vibes off a shade half a city away?
“This is…. acceptable.”
Danny nearly sags in relief and moves to stand, “Cool, then-“
“Wait.” The kid holds up a hand, “You said something regarding a disparity in the proposed ownership of the apparition you believed to be related to this jewelry.”
Danny blinks at him dumbly.
Damian scoffs again, “That the apparition attached to this necklace was ‘not mine,’ as you said??” He snarks, putting air quotes up.
Danny slowly sinks back down into the chair. “… Well yeah I mean..” does he tell this 8 year old about the slightly murderous shades he’s got around him? “You have… you have a couple… apparations… yourself. Not related to the pearls that is.” Danny says hesitantly, eyes skipping over said shades.
Damian jerks his head to follow his eyes and Danny shirks back, eyes back on the kid.
“Who are they? Tell me now,” Damian demands, standing to loom over the table.
Danny puts his hands up in surrender, “Whoa, I don’t know about that, they don’t really seem too happy with you-“ Another one tries to slice his hand through Damian’s neck, “I think you did something to them or made them angry at some point. I don’t really think you should try to contact them-“ Danny winces, that could end very badly. Thank goodness for limited ectoplasm access.
Meanwhile, his answer seems to have only made Damian more upset, his eyes wide as he stares down at Danny.
Suddenly the kid turns and stamps towards the door, leaving Danny to hurriedly push the chair out and chase after him to the main room.
Except-
When he gets there Damian is already shooting hushed insults at a man standing amongst the crystals.
The man looks vaguely like Damian, black hair, blue eyes, lithe build, and oh also- surrounded by shades of course.
These ones seem less vicious at least.
Please don’t be here for him. Please don’t be here for him.
Danny really doesn’t want to try and fake his way through another hour or however long it’s been of that.
“Hey there! I’m Dick, Damian’s brother!” The man says suddenly, pushing Damian aside and coming forward with a cheery grin, “Thanks for humoring him!”
Danny tilts his head to see Damian’s scowling face behind the man. Right.
“Uh huh… I’m Danny.” He says, trying not to be distracted by what he’s pretty sure is a baby elephant’s ghost behind him.
“You’re the medium right? We were just so interested to see if that old family heirloom would have anything or not. We-“
“We?” Damian cuts him off with a scoff, “I will meet you in the vehicle Richard. I will not spend another minute in this house of charlatans.”
They both watch as the kid turns and stomps out the door, uncrossing his arms only to open the door and stomp out. The stupid bell rings merrily.
This time it’s not Danny who sighs.
“I wish he wouldn’t say things like that,” Dick says wearily, “I grew up in places like this.” There’s a note of nostalgia to his voice. Danny just eyes the bowl of ‘fertility’ crystals warily, what kind of place??
Dick must see him do it because he huffs a laugh, “I grew up in a circus originally,” he explains, “So psychic places always just kinda remind me of my auntie’s tents.”
Danny glances at the elephant shaped ghost again, “Wow that makes so much sense actually.”
The guy raises a confused eyebrow at him.
Danny coughs awkwardly, waving it away, “So, money?” He claps, “I’m guessing you’re paying since Damian is…” Danny trails off, opting not to make a final guess on age and embarrass himself.
Dick laughs again and they go over to the counter, “Yep, here-“ He pulls out his wallet, rifling through cash before pulling some out, “Cash only yeah? This should be enough.”
Danny stares at the stack of slightly rumpled bills, “But- huh?…” that was… that was so much…
“Oh I added extra since I’m sure he probably said some things he shouldn’t have, don’t worry about it.”
Dick is already halfway out the door when Danny reloads and jerks upwards, “Wai-“
Could Danny really stop him? Should he? He needed this money but… he stops to count it. $20..40..60..80..100..120….140……160….180……….$200.
Danny blanches. He lurches for the door, no way he can take this much money just for basically acting as a glorified ecto-translator.
Danny stops in his tracks as he steps outside the shop and spots Dick and Damian speaking to a third, much older person, over the hood of a sleek black car.
This person, of course, also has several, several, shades around them.
What the hell was wrong with this family?
Damian turns and glares his way.
Oh ancients what if they were part of the mob or something.
Danny spins around on his heel-
And smacks straight into the glass door of the shop.
…
Ow.
Danny rubs his nose as he fumbles around for the door handle, acutely aware the death covered family was probably staring at him.
He grabs the handle and pulls-
Danny freezes, hand on his sore face stopping. He opens his eyes as he yanks again. Nothing.
Oh heck, he just locked himself out didn’t he?
No please no, they were so definitely still staring, no way they weren’t. Danny pulls again and it finally-
He looks at the door handle in his hand.
Then at the door still closed in front of him.
Then back at the door handle.
Just the door handle.
Crap.
Danny nearly weeps, clumsily fitting the door handle back on and still adamantly refusing to look and see if Damian and his absurdly rich family has left yet. Other people on the street are also starting to stare. The same reason he can’t just use his powers.
He finally gets the handle back on and gingerly lets go of it.
Ok. Deep breath.
Claire warned you about this. With a sticky note, but all the same. Extra key is taped on the bottom of the fire hydrant right outside the shop. You’ve got this.
Danny turns, kneels, and frantically begins trying to find the key on the absurdly dirty fire hydrant.
His hands come away black with grime, but thankfully he has the key.
He puts it in the lock and turns it, hearing what may very well be the newest sound of his nightmares: a snap.
Most specifically the sound of the key snapping in Danny’s very hands.
Danny stares at the half of the key still held between his fingers.
Did he do something to this city? Was this his fault? Could he not just sit in a closet and wait for the portal to open and go home?
Danny sags against the door, and resigns himself to his fate. Maybe he can go get food… with the money he left on the counter. Great.
Danny peeks his eyes sideways and catches the guy, Dick, finally getting into their car.
Okay, just a tiny bit just a bit. Danny holds the key again, focuses on the lock in the door jam and….. intangible!
He yanks the door open and jumps inside, door closing against the flutters of quickly fading shades on the street.
And more than one scream at them but hey that’s not his problem.
Mostly.
Danny revels in the cool lighting of the shop, glaring at the stupid broken key in his grimy hands. He drops the useless bit of metal on the counter, pockets the cash and wipes his hands on the backside of one of Claire’s million wall curtains.
It leaves a black stain that basically disappears when Danny folds the fabric over it.
Oh well.
Technically the shop was still open.
And technically, Danny didn’t know if the lock did or didn’t work right now.
He moves to find whatever storage closet Claire used to store her absurd number of crystals.
He finds it- finally- and using the keys he left in the store to begin with, he is able to unlock the perfect place to sleep tonight amongst several packages of…. Some kind of incense powder… or something. He doesn’t really care because that plan of hiding in a closet till the portal opens? Yeah, Danny’s putting that into action right the frick now.
He bends down to start to lay out his sweatshirt over the cardboard bed-to-be.
A bell rings in the distance.
Danny is going to destroy that bell on the door, he swears it.
#Danny phantom#batman#batfam#danny fenton#dc#danny phantom crossover#batman and robin#bruce wayne#tim drake#young justice#Damian Wayne#dick grayson#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp#red hood#Gotham#nightwing#the joke is that Danny doesn’t think he’s a real medium#but like sir what else would you call it?#uuhhh talking to people? yes sure…. DEAD people
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i wish i were heather...
synopsis: you were under the impression that you were stable in your secret long-term relationship with three of the four marauders, until it becomes clear that you aren't the girl they want anymore. (so you think). will you lose them before its too late? or have you already?
pairings: fem!reader x poly!marauders ` poly!marauders x lily evans
warnings: NO LILY SLANDER!! SHE'S PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND ITS NOT HER FAULT!!, cusswords, ANGST, depressing, a blip of reader skipping meals on the radar but it's srsly nothing crazy, insecure reader, the marauders besides peter are dicks, reader is a little naive, the marauders borderline cheat on you, no happy ending, there might still be one thoughhh, possibly slytherin!reader if you squint?,
part one in the conan gray series
A/N!!: In some of the fic i use colors to represent a certain character! Orange is Lily, Red is James, and Green is Barty :3
wc; 2.4k
LIFE WAS AMAZING, which is not usually how stories begin.
You felt so safe and secure in your secret relationship with Hogwarts' once most eligible bachelors... The Marauders.
The rush of excitement that coursed through your veins every time you shared a hidden glance with Remus, or hiding in the showers of the Gryffindor boys locker room with James after his quidditch victory, and sneaking off to empty classrooms where anyone from anywhere could catch you with Sirius.
It was heavenly, these boys were all you would ever need.
until... now.
You were in Remus' sweater, he said it looked better on you than it did him. If only he knew how much you liked him...
The fireplace erupted with a citrine glow, illuminating the Gryffindor common room beautifully.
Most impactfully, it lit up Remus' scar-kissed features.
His freckles looked as if they were painted onto his face with careful hands by a renaissance painter.
His eyes half-lidded from his lack of sleep from the incoming full moon that was slowly approaching, it pained you to know how much they hurt him.
For once, Remus wasn't in a sweater. Since his was rested comfortably on your body, as your scent comforted The Wolf greatly.
And his scent comforted you, too.
Remus' book had suddenly landed on your lap, and though it startled you a bit. You didn't bother to ask why, until you sat up.
Remus was locked in a passionate conversation with Gryffindor's resident golden girl, Lily Evans.
"Evans, it's lovely to see you."
"Same to you, Lupin."
Godric, was she beautiful.
"I just stopped by to see if you had gotten any of the Defence Against The Dark Arts homework done?"
Lily Evans was as radiant as an angel who blessed anyone with her presence.
"I have; actually, I just finished my paper."
Remus seemed mesmerized by her, the golden gleam from the fire painting her features gorgeously in that same citrine glow as Remus'.
"Could I have a look of it? Not to copy it- obviously, I just want to see how others are wording the question."
You weren't even half as pretty as Lily.
"Of course, and I know you'd never cheat."
"You're the smartest witch in our year."
You tried not to mind other girls flirting with your boys.
Just because you knew that later that night they'd be back to your boys again, and only yours.
As she was about to go, she planted a soft kiss on the side of Remus' cheek, leaving him blushing softly as he bid her goodbye.
Your heart clenched, it was merely a pleasantry. You were being dramatic.
"Are you alright, dove?" Your head perked up at the sound of Remus' voice.
"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine." You mused, albeit a bit absentmindedly.
"Are you tired?" He asked carefully.
"I am, actually..." You forced a sweet smile onto your lips, as he leaned down to kiss them softly.
That kiss was the last one that felt anything more than a chore, an obligation.
That was also your last kiss with Remus.
Cheering James on at the quidditch pitch was just the thrill you needed after that melancholy moment with Remus.
He soared through the field like he was on top of the world, the players scattered around the pitch for one common goal: to win.
Gryffindor had won the game with 60 points, and James had caught the snitch like usual.
This game was also a rain game.
Just as you were about to head down to showers when you spotted Lily excitedly trailing after James.
You knew full well that James chased Lily tirelessly since they started school, that was also well before you came into the picture.
You also knew that she wanted nothing to do with him or the other marauders, so what was with her infatuation now?
Why your boys? She couldn't find her own boys?
But maybe she was just being friendly, right? The boys would never ever cheat on you... right?
You heard Lily giggle as James so graciously held the curtain open for her to enter the locker room, and your heart clenched.
You followed them in, jealously.
"James?" You called, as James poked his head from the changing area. Sweat glistening off his abs.
"Hi, Y/N." He shut the curtain behind him, as if he had something to hide.
Also; he barely just called you by your first name.
"You didn't come to see me after the game?" You questioned, grazing his cheek gently as he spoke."
"Sorry, Y/N. It was a long one." He excused, as he clearly looked a bit flushed.
"You look red, are you dehydrated?"
"Godric, y/n. you are hardly my mum."
You giggled as if it was a joke, yet he seemed quite stone faced.
You cleared your throat embarrassingly once you realized.
"I... just wanted to congratulate you on another win." You forcefully smiled again.
"Thank you, I really appreciate that." Then, he flashed his classic grin at you.
The grin he hadn't flashed at you since he realized he genuinely liked you.
What the fuck?
"Victory kiss?" You asked quietly, with some false hope mixed in.
"Of course." He pecked your forehead quickly, before hurrying off back to his changing area.
And with that, you had also left the steamy tent and outside into the cool, soft rain once more.
A forehead kiss? whenever he used to give you victory kisses they'd be full-on make outs in that same changing room or the showers.
James was falling out of love with you, and you knew it.
Luckily, you could easily disguise your tears with the excuse of it raining.
"Victory kiss?" Lily mewled, from her position on the stool in his changing spot.
"Just on the forehead, lovely."
You stopped showing up to breakfast, as the one time you decided to go Lily was sat in your spot next to Sirius.
Dorcas was nearly at her wits end with the boys and their antics.
The motley crew of Slytherins were the only ones who knew of your relationship, and they were pissed off.
"Treasure, surely they aren't fucked enough to know that you are the best thing they've ever had!" Barty explained, laying upside-down on his bed across from you.
"I-It's no use, Jr." You cried softly, mirroring his position yet on your bed instead. The tears (and blood) rushing to your hairline instead of your face because Dorcas said 'Your makeup is too pretty to ruin, love.' .
"There is a use, Y/L/N. we'll kill them-"
"Jr, absolutely not." Regulus chided, rubbing your shoulder. "She's clearly upset, I don't see the issue."
"Murder is never a good option, Barty." Dorcas scolded gently.
"So what are we gonna do then? My Treasure can't go on like this!"
"You said you've already talked to James and Remus? Maybe you can go talk to... eh... Sirius." Clearly, that name was hard for Regulus to get out.
"*Sniff* yeah, yeah- I'll go talk to him..." You sat up half-hazardously, and strutted out of the dorm-room to go (hopefully) save your relationship.
You still remember the third of December.
Sirius lounged on the couch while speaking with the other marauders, about some sort of prank on the other group of Slytherins.
"And then, we'll-"
"Hi, Siri." You sat next to him, beaming up at him (hopefully).
"...y/n." He greeted casually, before continuing to talk.
Your smile faded, as he continued to talk to your other boyfriends friends about this horrible prank.
Instead of leaving, you sat quietly next to them, as if you were some decoration or trophy wife.
This was truly your breaking point, as you saw Lily sit down on the couches of the common room as she caught all of their attention, you hadn't seemed to do that for ages. Though, she was wearing something familiar...
Remus'... sweater...
Remus'- YOUR Remus' sweater.
"How's it look?" Lily asked, giving them a twirl. Their eyes locked on her.
"Gorgeous, doll." Sirius flirted, shooting her a wink.
"Truly a sight for sore eyes." James grinned.
"It looks better on you than it did me." Remus took her hand and helped her sit down on the couch in between him and James.
That's exactly what he said to you...
He put his arm 'round her shoulder,
suddenly you got colder.
She's got them mesmerized... while you die.
But how could you hate her?
She's such an angel...
But then again you wished she were dead.
"Why would you ever kiss me?" You asked impulsively.
"What?" James looked up from Lily, all eyes on you.
"I mean- I'm not even half as pretty."
"Y/n, You're overthinking it-" Remus started it.
"You gave her your sweater!" You shot back.
"It's just polyester!" Remus defended.
"But you like her better." You felt the tears rush to your waterline.
"We're done." You whispered, leaving Lily looking so confused and the common room dead quiet.
"What does she mean by that...?" Lily seemed horrified.
"We... weren't really dating.." Sirius attempted to defend.
"Yes, we were, you tosser!" James shoved him.
"You said yourself that you were bored of her!" Remus stated matter-of-factly.
"Was I seriously the other woman?" Lily mewled, her hands clutching the sides of her head.
"Nonono- No, we were planning to break up with her but- because we all wanted you-" Sirius tried again.
"Then don't fuck around with her feelings just to get me!" Lily yelled, standing up quickly.
"I appreciate the admiration- but I need time to process, okay? You all were absolute... arseholes to her, I'll admit." Lily started,
"Are you saying no?" James quickly cut in.
"...No..." Lily ended.
After crying your eyes out to Barty and Regulus over your breakup, December 7th rolled around.
The day that students were meant to be studying for their OWLS and other end of term exams.
You would usually be in the library 24/7.
Lily, had finally come around and accepted the boys' proposal, and their relationship became public quickly.
Lily obviously still felt this bitter taste of guilt in her mouth, as did all of them.
So today, Lily had convinced them all to apologize to you for borderline cheating and lying and manipulating and gaslighting-.
But, you were nowhere to be found.
"Regulus! Regulus, wait up!" Lily ran through the hallways to get to her.
"Evans, Brother.. Potter... and Lupin.." She said those last three names with utter disgust.
"We're trying to find Y/n, have you seen her?" Remus asked quietly, he was definitely feeling the most guilt.
"Y/n? Well, If she was here, I think she'd completely refuse to see you lot." Regulus explained bluntly.
"W-What do you mean "If she was here"?" James questioned.
"I mean, Her, Junior., and the Rosier twins completed their OWLS early and hightailed it to Junior's holiday house for the rest of the break." He explained casually.
"What?" Sirius scowled.
"What the hell is my girl-... Y/n doing with them?" James had the same expression as Sirius.
"They are simply better friends then you were to her, hm? I don't blame her."
"When will she be back?" Lily asked breathlessly.
"End of December, If she ever returns." Regulus strolled away, potions book in hand.
"...We fucked up."
Fin.
#marauders era#fem!reader#sirius black#remus lupin#marauders#fanfiction#james potter#poly!marauders x reader#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader#lily evans#no lily slander#fanfic#angst no comfort#angst no happy ending
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hello, love! i hope you're doing great! i love reading your works and thank you so much for writing such beautiful pieces 🫶🏻
soooo... i was thinking of making a request! i'm not sure if you've written about this or not and please feel free to ignore it if you're uncomfortable with writing it or if you've already written it but here's the request:
satoru with newborn twin daughters 🥹
i noticed that there are almost no twin dad gojo fics and we already know that he's a girl dad. plus, i love your writing style. hence this thought. again, thank you so much for your hard work, rose! stay hydrated and have a great day! byeeee!
twin girls (and gojo ig) — gojo satoru x f!reader
a/n: i cant believe it took me like 7 months to finally post this; i am so sorry 🙏 BUT i am so so happy that you like my works and srsly thank you for your sweet words. they mean the world 🥹 hope that you like this as well! have a wonderful day!! 🫶🫶
the only thing worse than having one girl you can’t say no to is having two.
add to that the fact that satoru is already a softie when it comes to his daughters, and it’s a recipe for disaster—if you’re not there to intervene.
"papa, I want a dress!" one of your twins looks up at satoru with wide, sparkling eyes, her hands tugging at the hem of his shirt.
her sister quickly chimes in, her voice a little shyer but just as determined. "I-I want a dress too, papa!"
satoru crouches down to their level, hands on his knees as he looks between his two little girls, his white hair falling messily into his eyes.
“two dresses, huh?” his voice takes on a faux-serious tone. “what kind of dresses are we talking about?”
“sparkly!”
“twirly!”
“pink!”
“blue!”
their voices rise with excitement, and satoru’s grin only grows wider as he listens, nodding as though their demands are being carefully cataloged in his mind.
you can’t help but smile from the doorway, watching the scene unfold. his enthusiasm when it comes to them is both endearing and ridiculous.
"satoru," you call out, interrupting his train of thought. your arms are crossed, and a teasing smile plays on your lips. "we agreed they only need one dress each, remember?"
he turns toward you with a playful pout, the twins following his gaze.
“they’re my princesses, wifey! how can I deny them a little extra sparkle?” he says, completely unbothered by the parental negotiations you both agreed on just yesterday.
you raise an eyebrow, taking a few steps closer and placing a hand on his arm. “you’ll be sleeping on the couch if they come home with more than one each.”
satoru's expression shifts immediately, an exaggerated look of surrender plastered on his face as he straightens up, holding up his hands. "alright, alright. one dress each. promise."
later that evening, when you return home, your twin girls are twirling around in front of you in two dresses each—one sparkly, one twirly, naturally.
your gaze falls on satoru, who stands casually leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, whistling as if he’d done nothing wrong.
“satoru,” you pout, “I thought we had an agreement.”
he gives you a cheeky grin and a shrug, completely unbothered. “they were on sale,” he says as if that justifies everything.
the girls, oblivious to your exasperation, giggle and show off their new outfits, spinning around in excitement.
"mama, look! don't we look pretty?"
"yeah, mama! we look pretty, right?"
you press your lips into a thin line, but the fondness in your eyes betrays you. you sigh and ruffle their hair, "yes, very pretty, both of you."
the girls squeal in happiness and run around the house in their excitement. your husband nudges your arm gently with a teasing smile. you quirk an eyebrow before pushing him away with a chuckle.
you can never deny that you love seeing them so happy, even if it means satoru has bent the rules—again.
of course, life with your husband and your twin girls is a whirlwind. even bedtime is an adventure (read: a battle).
one night, the girls are bouncing off the walls in their matching pajamas, their giggles filling the room as they run circles around satoru, who’s sitting at the edge of the bed, utterly failing to get them under control.
"alright, time to settle down," he says, his tone light but lacking any real authority. the girls shake their heads as their dad is simply not cut out to be the strict parent in their eyes.
however, when he opens his arms, one of the girls takes the chance to climb his lap. his hand ruffles her hair, and she hums happily .
"papa, can we have three stories tonight?" the twin on his lap asks, looking up at him with pleading eyes.
her sister, not wanting to miss out, rushes over and clings to his other arm. "no! I want four stories!"
satoru sighs dramatically, glancing over at you for backup. you are sitting like the boss you are on the loveseat in the room. you look up when you feel your husband's eyes on you.
“they only get one story,” you remind him, trying not to laugh at his predicament.
satoru looks between the two girls, their wide eyes fixed on him. “alright, alright,” he finally concedes, holding up two fingers. “two stories. that’s my final offer.”
he hears you groan, and his heart breaks at disappointing you, but he can’t just say no to them. the twins cheer as if they’ve won a war, grabbing their favorite books from the bedside table.
it takes you a few moments before you smile helplessly as you watch him negotiate with them like it’s a high-stakes sorcery mission. it's not long before your daughters fall asleep. satoru's voice has always been comfort incarnate for them.
"you’re too soft," you tease as you walk over to him, pinching his nose—he yelps as quietly as he can, so you plant a soft kiss on his temple.
he leans into your touch for a moment, closing his eyes. "can’t help it," he mutters, "they’ve got your charm.”
afternoons are no less chaotic, especially at the park, where the twins drag satoru toward the swings, their little hands gripping his fingers as they bounce excitedly.
"papa, push me higher!" one demands, already settling onto the swing.
"me too! higher!" her sister echoes, scrambling onto the swing beside her.
satoru stands behind them, cracking his knuckles.
“higher, huh? I think I can manage that.” he gives the first swing a firm push, sending one of the twins soaring up, her laughter filling the air.
you sit on the third swing, smiling at the scene.
satoru looks over at you, his grin softening as his eyes meet yours. the way their laughter fills the atmosphere fills your heart, and you can tell that satoru feels the same.
at least, until he decides to push you and make you take full 360s on the swing.
“wow, mama is swinging!”
“in a circle!”
“satoru, I will kill you!!”
"waiting for that, wifey!"
dinner, as always, is an ongoing fight. tonight, the twins are in full protest mode against their vegetables.
"I don’t like broccoli," one twin pouts, pushing her plate away.
"me neither," her sister adds, crossing her arms as if this decision has been made final.
satoru, ever their ally in mischief, leans back in his chair, his expression far too relaxed. "well, I guess no one’s eating broccoli tonight," he says, clearly enjoying this little act of rebellion.
while you're proud of your girls backing each other up, you rather it not be right now. you shoot satoru a warning glance, shaking your head with a sigh. "they need to eat their veggies, satoru."
he shrugs, smirking lazily as he glances at the twins. “they’re gojo kids. I think they’ll survive without a little broccoli.”
the twins giggle, clearly siding with him. but you know how to play this game too; otherwise, you would have never been able to handle the man child beside you. “okay, fine,” you say with a sly smile. “no dessert if they don’t eat their veggies.”
the girls’ eyes go wide in horror, and they quickly turn to their father, their last hope. “papa, no! we want dessert!”
caught between you and the twins, satoru sighs dramatically, like he’s being asked to sacrifice everything.
“alright, alright, princesses,” he concedes, hands raised in defeat. “but you’ve gotta eat the broccoli if you want dessert. we gotta listen to mama.”
the twins reluctantly pick at their plates, eyeing the broccoli with disdain, but determined to make it to dessert.
you exchange a triumphant smile with satoru, who just rolls his eyes playfully.
and in the quieter moments, when the twins are asleep, and it’s just the two of you, he wraps his arms around you, pressing his lips to your forehead. “I don’t know how you do it,” he murmurs softly. “keeping us all in line.”
you smile, leaning into his touch, “someone’s gotta make sure we don’t end up with a house full of sparkly dresses.”
satoru laughs quietly, pulling you closer. “what can I say? I’m weak when it comes to you three.”
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#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk imagines#gojo imagine#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#satoru x reader#satoru x you#satoru x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x y/n
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conditioned - seungcheol x reader
↠ pairing : seungcheol x reader
↠ summary : you were too naive, too sweet, and seungcheol had to be the one that gets to wreck and destroy you… and also make sure you were conditioned enough to never dare to leave him.
↠ word count : 5.1K words
↠ warnings : swearing, drinking/getting drunk, dom!seungcheol, noncon, use of pet names, mentions of past cheating, rough fingering, slight choking, drugging
↠ author’s note : heyy guys sorry about the delay on this i was busy with new years stuff and i realised that this was wayy too long and also wanted to make it a series so this is just part 1! i hope you guys like it so far and lmk what you think :) also happy new year !! i hope this year is filled with happiness and love for each and every one of you 🫶🏼
part one part two part three
It all started on that rainy night.
You still had half an hour until closing time, when you could finally go home to your warm and cozy bed.
The cafe you recently started working at was in a busy part of Seoul so it wasn't much of a shock to you that it was bustling at 7pm on a Friday night. But with the looming worry of your piling assignments and all the bills to your tiny apartment, you just really wanted to go home. Even with so many worries and stress, you were never one to show it too much, preferring to keep it within you while you be the best version of yourself while talking to others.
And so, when the tall and extremely handsome man came to the cash register, voice dripping in honey as he ordered from the menu, you still maintained your good behaviour.
"Is that by cash or card for today?" You asked, not paying much mind to his observant eyes scanning over you as you clicked away on the screen.
"By card, sweetheart, thank you."
You looked up as soon as the word fell from his lips, but all he did was flip open his wallet, pulling out the sleek black card before pushing it towards you with a cute smile, his eyes mimicking crescent moons.
After taking the card from his hands you hovered it over the pay screen, suddenly feeling small as he watched you before you gave it back to him.
Working at a cafe in the city means you always serve cute customers, but this one just felt different.
"I'll sit by the back... can you bring it out for me when it's done?" He asked, taking you aback as you just stared at him like he grew ears and a tail.
"Hello? Did you not catch that?" He asked again, honeyed voice still gentle as he tilted his head to the side slightly, causing you to shake your head.
"S-Sorry um... I'm a-actually just a cashier, my co worker will bring it out—"
"Do you know who I am darling?" He cut you off, causing you to crease your eyebrows.
"N-No—"
"Oh my god...M-Mr Hong, I'm sorry Sir, she's new to Seoul and only recently started here, I'll make sure I teach her well."
You watch in shock as your usually strict and nonchalant manager stumbled over her words, bowing down repeatedly before your eyes trail back to his, as he eyed you down.
"That's alright... when my order is done, make sure she is the one that hands it to me."
You both watch as he walks away without another word, before Soyeon, your manager, all but drags you into the kitchen area, shutting the door behind her rather loudly.
"Where the fuck is Yugyeom? I told him to watch the newbie for a bit while I was on break, didn't I?" Soyeon spat as she stormed around before a confused Yugyeom walked in through the staff room door.
"Oh shit my bad, I went to drink water," he mumbled, clearly confused as Soyeon rolled her eyes.
"I'm sure you were. Mr Hong is here, alone it seems...and this girl spoke to him like a normal customer! I don't have the time to explain anything right now but from now on, no one leaves her to the cash register alone...Yugyeom take over for a bit he requested her to bring his order," Soyeon went on before looking towards me as I looked around at all the people in the kitchen that stopped upon hearing that guys name.
"I'm s-sorry did I do something wrong? Is he-he like political or—"
"Political," Soyeon scoffed, shaking her head before leaving the room as everyone slowly went back to what they were doing, except Yugyeom.
"Hey don't stress, I'll explain after we close.... I'll cover for you until you get back but, don't talk to him too much okay? Only answer whatever he asks, nothing more, and definitely nothing less....he's dangerous."
Yugyeom pushes the tray in front of you before walking away soundlessly, as your left stunned.
He's dangerous.
Yugyeom words rang in your mind as you carefully walked past the tables to the very end of the store, where there was a couple of booths.
"Here's your iced americano... I-I hope you enjoy—"
"Where you running off too that quickly? Come sit," he spoke, hand wrapped around your wrist tightly before you could've ran back. You hesitantly nodded, before sitting opposite him as he took a sip of his drink, eyes still trained on yours through the rim of the transparent glass.
"Your manager said you're new....where are you from?" He asked innocently, although he already knew almost everything about you.... the rest you would have to fill in for him.
"Y-Yeah....I'm from Iksan actually....came here for....for university," you answer truthfully, although you felt wary talking about yourself in detail to him.
"Oh? What are you studying?" He asked again, as you looked towards the front of the cafe.
"I-I think I'll have to head back I'm sorry—"
"Darling you're with me, your manager won't mind, now answer me," he shot, causing you to swallow thickly.
"I-I study psychology," you almost mumbled, before his pretty face was contorting in interest.
"So you like studying how minds work, huh? That sounds cool," he says, taking another sip of his drink before you both turn to see Yugyeom telling a customer that they're closed now so they can't order.
"Oh pity, you guys are already closed," he says, making you turn back to look at him.
"W-Who are you?" You muster the courage to ask, mostly the curiosity getting to you.
"I never introduced myself, I'm Joshua sweetheart, I work nearby."
"It was nice meeting you, but I think I'll have to help close," you said, almost getting annoyed of the man in front of you.
He was gorgeous, there was no doubt about that...but everything about the way he was acting along with your co workers, held up red signs in your mind.
You swore he almost rolled his eyes, before he was standing up and walking towards the front cash register as you followed behind him in confusion.
"I'm sure you guys can manage a close right? Y/N looks really tired today she's going home," He blatantly said, before looking towards you again.
"Go get your things."
You don't know what it was, but you found yourself complying to his words as you walked into the staff room to get your bag, Soyeon no where to be seen. Yugyeom looked horrified when you came back out, his eyes looking at you as if trying to convey that he hopes your safe.
You slightly nod his way before looking back towards Joshua.
"Thank you," you mumble, before quickly speeding out to the car park outside as he followed you out.
You don't really know why you said thank you, or why you even listened to his words but you deemed it a good idea considering Yugyeom did mention he was dangerous.
Fishing out your keys from your tote bag you quickly got into your car, pushing the key in to start your car as you noticed he was just standing not too far from your car almost expectantly.
And as expected, your car made no effort to start up even as you turned the key, your eyebrows furrowing as you cursed under your breath. After trying a few more times you gave up, letting out a deep sigh as you exited your car again before shutting the door.
"What's wrong?" Joshua instantly asked as you shrugged.
"My car is dead, I don't even know why," you mumble, trying to walk past him before he grabbed your arm again.
"Where are you going?"
"Inside, im gonna ask my co worker for a ride," you answer, pulling your arm out of his grasp as he shook his head.
"No need, just come with me, I can drop you off."
"What n-no," you instantly deny, staring up at him in shock.
You didn't even know him, why did he think you'd say yes?
"Do I look like a murderer Y/N?" He asked, tilting his head to the side as his big doe eyes stared at you.
"N-No but.... but I don't know you and it's fine you—"
"I'd love to, really..... do you live far?"
"No just a few minutes away," you answer, slowly realising it might not be such a bad idea.
If you waited for a co worker you'd have to stay back closing, and you were beyond tired to do that.... and Joshua, although slightly weird, didn't give you any doubt to think he was a threat.
Even though Yugyeom had called him dangerous....
"If we're not far than just come, the longer you take your losing time sleeping," He stated, as you bit your lip in thought.
You guessed it wouldn't be so bad.
"Fine yeah," you mumbled, nodding at him as he flashed you that charming smile that had your stomach doing flips.
"Good, follow me."
You followed behind him, completely unaware of the smug smile on Joshua's face as you both passed your old car.
It wasn't too hard for him to make sure it wouldn't work, but that battered car was hanging by a thread anyways.
Your mouth hung open once you saw the black Porsche parked not too far from the entrance, as he opened the passenger door for you with a chuckle leaving his lips at your reaction.
"Are you gonna get in?"
"S-Sorry," you mumble awkwardly, before quickly sitting inside as he shut the door.
You knew he was probably rich as fuck, if anything that ironed to perfection suit with a Chanel pin gave it away, but being inside such a luxurious car made you feel sick.
This was definitely worth more than a whole year of your college tuition fees.
"Can you put your address in for me?" Joshua asked, pointing towards the huge tablet in the middle as he started the car.
You nod shortly before typing away, still not being able to shake away the utter shock you were feeling sitting in such a nice car.
"Do you like working there?" Joshua suddenly asked after a few minutes of silent driving.
"Yeah I do, it's fun," you say, playing with your fingers nervously as he hummed.
Thankfully you saw your apartment complex come into view, making you let out a sigh without even realising.
"It was really kind of you to offer me a ride, thank you," you say politely, as he smiled at you warmly.
"Of course, get home and rest up you've had a long day.... your cafe is my usual so, I'll see you around," he says, giving you a small nod before you thank him once again before getting out of his car.
The whole elevator ride up to your apartment and for the next two hours laying in bed, all you can think about is that mysterious but kind man. It's as if all the sleepiness you felt throughout the day disappeared, your mind running with so many thoughts. You thought back to how Soyeon and Yugyeom acted around him, and how odd you found him when he asked you to sit with him. Although you knew it was very sweet of him to give you a ride, you were a stranger to him too, his aura was comforting almost, and something told you that was definitely not the last time you'd see him around.
And you were right.
Something you were terribly wrong about though?
There was nothing comforting and sweet about Joshua Hong.
———————————————————————————
A few days passed since your first encounter with Joshua, and almost every one of those days in between he was at your cafe, ordering the same thing and having conversations with you.
One iced americano, bring it out for me.
Although you still found that weird, you kind of enjoyed his company. You soon found out he worked at a law firm, he lived alone but was thinking of adopting a puppy soon, and he was so interested in your studies and out of work lifestyle.
Lies, lies, and more lies.
But you didn't need to know that yet.
You tried keeping your words on the low though, not giving away too much about your not so pretty life at the moment and how you manage to make a living. Yugyeom and Soyeon had become rather silent everytime you interacted with them.... and Yugyeom never explained to you what he wanted to say about Joshua the first time you saw him.
"He's cool, just really intimidating cuz he's like a law dude y'know?"
"Gyeom you called him dangerous.... I don't really believe you would've used that word so lightly without a reason," you had said, to which he just shrugged and brushed off to another random topic.
Anyways that was over a week ago, and for now you just wanted to let go of every thought for the night as you enjoyed some drinks with a couple of uni friends at a club of their choosing on a Sunday night. You swore to yourself that you wouldn't get wasted since you had work the next morning, but alas one drinking game bled into another and by 11pm you were already nearly gone.
You didn't feel like going home anymore, not that you could until all your friends tapped out since you guys promised to Uber together, but eventually the games got boring so you excused yourself to go sit on one of the stools in front of the main bar, chin in your palms as the cute bartender came your way.
"Can I get a cosmopolitan, please," you say politely before running a hand through your hair.
"A cosmopolitan? Thought you'd choose something more sweeter," a voice from next to you spoke, making you whip your head to look at the man.
Your mouth slightly hung open, staring across at who you were sure was the hottest man to grace the world, all the alcohol in your system making you much more bolder than your usual quiet self.
"And why do you think you have a say in what I order? It's my favourite," you huff, as the man's eyebrows go up in amusement.
"Now, now....no need to be snappy, I was just curious.... think you'd like an expresso martini more," he chuckled, tongue swiping across his red plush lips as he eyed you up and down.
"Alright, let's see," you say, as the man smiles your way before calling over the bartender.
"Swap that cosmopolitan for an expresso martini, and get me my usual."
"Usual? Do you come here often?" You pique, resting your chin on your palm as you look at him.
"Something like that... I've never seen you here before though? I must say.... this doesn't seem like your setting," he smiles again, before the bartender was sliding your cocktail in front of you.
"Enjoy your drinks," he bows before running off, his playful smiles and comments completely gone.
"Come on, have a taste."
You slowly bring the glass rim to your lips, before opening your mouth.
"Oh shit, it's so good I can't believe I've never tried this before," you gleam, eyes sparkling as you quickly take another gulp.
"I'm surprised you haven't as well, so now you can stop having boring old cosmopolitans," he said, as you watch him drink an almost brown liquid.
"That however does not look inviting," you say, as his eyes flicker to yours.
"Wanna try? It's my personal favourite."
You hesitantly grab his glass, if anything the strong whiff you get should've thrown you off but you take a sip anyways, instantly gagging and coughing as he chuckles.
"How are you drinking that? It's horrible," you whine, drinking your martini in hopes of flushing that horrid taste from your mouth.
"It's whiskey darling, should've known you might not be able to handle it actually," he chuckled again, making you knit your eyebrows together.
"What is that supposed to mean?" You question, as he smiles widely, dimples sinking into his cheeks as you felt like your knees would've given out if you weren't sitting down.
god. he was an eye sore.
"Nothing, sweetheart.... now tell me your name?"
"Y/N, L/N Y/N.... and yours?" You ask, trying to ignore the set of butterflies that were released in your stomach from his pet names.
He leaned forward, tucking your hair strands behind your ear as his soft brown eyes were glued to yours.
"Seungcheol, Choi Seungcheol."
You probably should've just ended the conversation there and gone back to your friends, but hours pushed the night deeper, a couple more cocktails with Seungcheol listening to him tell you all sorts of stories as you swore you've never gotten so drunk to the point where you couldn't think anymore.
"It's really no big deal for me," he pressed on, opening the back door of the club with his right arm as his left stayed firm around your waist.
"N-No just....just get me back in there to the first table—"
"Y/N your friends are drunk off their minds, they're not taking you home in that state," he laughed shortly, dragging you to his black Mercedes that stood alone in the private parking lot.
"Then call me a cab!" You whine, pouting slightly before the back car door swung open and he was pushing you in.
"W-What are you—"
Your words were stuck in your throat as you watched in confusion as he got in next to you before shutting the door.
"A-Aren't you going to d-drive," you stutter out nervously as he smiled lopsidedly before dragging you onto his lap, your soft thighs on either side of him.
"I will take you home sweetheart don't worry, just want to have a look at you first, I've been dying to touch you," he groaned, hands feeling you up, groping and sliding across your heated skin as your vision doubled.
"You're so fucking pretty baby, and this excuse of a dress leaves nothing to the imagination hm?" He cooed, fingers hooking onto the straps of your short red dress as you shook your head weakly.
"W-What are you doing?" You hiccup, smiling for no reason as you felt the alcohol thrum through your body, taking over your better judgment and control.
"What am I doing? I'm just finally getting to have my hands on you baby, so im feeling you up," he whispered near your ear before a deep chuckle left his lips as you began trying to free yourself from his hold.
"This isn't right—"
"Of course this is right, just stay quiet for me, okay? You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this," he groaned, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as his hands on your thigh slowly rolled your dress up until it was bunched up against your waist, your covered pussy coming into his view.
Seungcheol had to hold back a growl, shutting his eyes tightly in a way for him to suppress the carnal thoughts from taking over, he wanted nothing more than to take you right there and then... but he knew he had to wait, this is merely just him getting a taste to suppress his hunger for now.
You leaned your back against the front seat, eyes trying its hardest to fight the tiredness and haziness seeping in from the drugs Seungcheol made the bartender crush into your many cocktails earlier.
"Do you always wear cute pink panties like these baby? Or did you somehow know I'd play with you tonight?" He whispered, fingers ghosting along the inner skin of your thighs as you squirmed in his hold.
"Fuck baby your skin is so so soft."
His fingers were hooking onto the thin straps of your dress before slowly pulling them down, his dark and unwavering eyes glued to your chest as you shook your head feverently.
"N-No not here we're in p-public," you manage to breathe out, before he was stopping abruptly.
"Oh so you wanna go back to your apartment and continue this?" He asked in bewilderment as you were quick to say no.
"My windows are tinted baby relax, no one outside can see how im defiling you," he whispered darkly, licking his lips as he continued to pull your straps down.
"Let's get your hands out of this hm?" He asked sweetly, hands already moving to pull your arms out of your dress as you could do nothing but watch with a misty vision.
You felt odd, like all the energy had been ripped away from you and all you could do was sit there on his lap completely dazed.
"Fuck," Seungcheol breathed out, eyes dark and heavy as they gazed upon your frame, your dress now fully bunched together at your hip as you were now just left in your bra and panties.
"You're being such a good girl for me.... just how I like it," he whispered into your ear as his hand smoothed down your stomach before cupping your covered pussy.
A soft sigh left your lips even as you shook your head, hands fisting at the material of his black blazer.
"N-No," you manage to weakly say, as Seungcheol began rubbing slowly circles into you.
"No? You don't think you're a good girl?" He questioned, thick fingers sliding up and under the waistband of your panties before making straight contact to your pussy lips.
"N-No this isn't right," you mewl, your words betraying you as you felt your pussy gush with wetness.
"Just sit here and let me feel you, understand?.... Don't think your that upset over this considering your fucking dripping anyways," he chuckled, slightly dropping the sweetness he was treating you with as he increased the speed of his fingers rubbing you while his other hand stayed firm against your hip.
"B-But—"
Your words were caught in your throat, your mouth hanging open in a scream instead as he roughly pushed in two of his fingers in your unprepped hole.
"But nothing. Another word from you and I'll have to use my tie as a gag, you want that?" He asked, his tone menacing as he leaned closer to your face.
You shook your head instantly, tears forming in your eyes at the sudden intrusion of his fingers as he slowly began thrusting them in and out of your tight hole.
"Now.... I have questions I'd like answers to baby, will you answer me truthfully?"
"Y-Yeah," you manage to slur out, vision doubling as his hand on your hip slowly trailed up to your covered breasts before dipping under the material to cup your warm mound.
"Good....lets start with this, you don't have a boyfriend back in Iksan right? And no crushes or foolish boys at your feet?" He asked, fingers pulling at your taut nipple as you gasped softly.
"N-No no," your quick to say as his fingers stilled inside your pussy, knuckle deep as you clenched down on him.
"Hm that's good to know baby, didn't really wanna have to kill anyone right now.." he trailed off with a chuckle, before suddenly pulling you closer to his face with his grip on your neck.
"Although something tells me you're not as pure as you look, have you had sex before sweetheart?"
His questions along with the way he was answering sent shivers down your spine, but his dark gaze fixed on yours almost compelled you to answer truthfully, scared to find out what he'd do if you didn't answer him.
kinda like how you felt with that Joshua guy, but just somehow worse.
"Y-Yes with my ex.... it's been... it's been o-over a year," you manage to squeak out, watching in almost fear as Seungcheol's face instantly dropped, thick fingers slipping out of you.
"Ah, you just really pissed me off baby, it's just a shame someone's already tainted you before I got the chance to... no matter though if it's been that long.... it just means you're practically a virgin all over again just for me, hm?"
He sounded almost delirious, wet fingers coming up to grip your jaw tightly as you winced, trying to form sentences to ask him what he meant before he was speaking again.
"Did you like it, baby? Did he make you feel good?" He questioned again, eyes narrowing on you as you slightly nodded.
A cry instantly left your lips as his fingernails dug into your jaw, his teeth gritting as he bought his face closer to yours until you could feel his warm breath fanning across your cold skin.
"Wrong answer. Do you still have contact with him?"
"N-No I wouldn't he... he cheated, r-rubbed it in my face," you stumble upon your words, as Seungcheol instantly laughs.
"Oh your poor thing," he tuts, letting go off your jaw as both his hands smoothed down your body before resting on your hips.
"Don't worry baby, when we properly get to know each other and you tell me the whole story, I'll kill that bastard for you, how does that sound? You want me to kill him for what he's done to you baby?" He asked almost sweetly, as you shook your head almost instantly.
"N-No he...I don't care," you struggle out, shifting on his lap uncomfortably as your head began throbbing in pain.
Seungcheol watched your every movement with dark unwavering eyes, taking note that the strong drug was beginning to settle in and that you'd fall unconscious any moment now.
"Mmh.... you're about to fall asleep soon sweetheart, but don't worry, I'll come see you soon okay? You'll meet a different version of me though, can't scare you away so quickly, Shua did mention you were pretty shy," he chuckled, but you barely managed to catch a sentence of what he said, your headache only getting worse as a soft groan left your lips before you were falling forward to lean your head against his shoulder.
"Okay this is acting faster than I thought, let's get you home."
Seungcheol pulled you off his lap and carefully placed you down on the seat before fixing up your dress, inhaling sharply in an effort to ignore how salvageable you looked to him even if you were about to fall unconscious.
next time he had you like this, he wouldn't stop his lascivious thoughts from taking over.
"Last question baby, what's your apartment code? I'll need to get in to lay you down," he asked, tapping your cheek lightly to wake you up.
You mumble out some numbers he manages to catch, before you were falling into a deep slumber.
Seungcheol sighed as he started the car, pulling out of the driveway as he thought of his next few planned steps.
He didn't want to rush it with you, there was no need of it, he had you and no one would dare touch you.... and you couldn't even try to escape regardless.
A red light had him pulling the car to a stop, before calling Joshua.
"Hey man, I'm guessing she's fast asleep if you've called?"
"Mhm, got her to tell me her apartment code, I'll put her to bed and have a look around before setting up a camera. I need you to keep an eye on everyone that she's close to, see if it's for sure that no one would get too curious if she went missing.... ah, and I found out about an ex, but we'll worry about that later once I have more information."
"Got it. She's fucking gorgeous up close isn't she? I know she's all yours man but fucking hell she's a gem," Joshua groaned, as Seungcheol could only smile as he thought back to how responsive you were.
"Hmm.... but even with drugs in her system she was still a pain, I think she'll be much more difficult than I thought," Seungcheol answered, tapping his fingers against the wheel as he looked at your sleeping form through the mirror.
"Wait you fucked her?! Bro you said you'd wait—"
"No I didn't you fucking idiot now stop talking about her. I just called to let you know I might end up being a little late for the group meeting, but don't wait up and start without me."
Seungcheol ended the call as he saw your apartment building come into view, a smile making its way onto his face as he thought about how smoothly everything was going, and tomorrow morning you would wake up with a severe migraine and no recollection of what happened the night before.
Everything was going according to plan.
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