#alright i’m officially done with this episode idea lol

[devilsrecreation]

Since the ep is INSPIRED by POTO, I’mma point out the similarities and differences

Similarities/references to POTO:

-There are obvious parodies of the characters in the book/musical. Neema’s obviously the Phantom, Paka kinda has Christine’s role, Nne and Tano are kinda like Madame Giry, and there’s an herbivore with Carlotta’s role. Maybe a wild ass

-Neema pulls very similar stunts Erik pulls, mainly sabotaging performances. But he also has a secret lair in a water cave that he takes Kiburi’s float and Paka

-The Grasslands has a tradition called the “kupiga mpira”, meaning “masquerade ball” where everyone dresses up in costumes. Neema crashes the party lol

-Like Christine, Paka is a (rookie) performer and has a relationship with the Phantom

-I guess you could say both Erik and Neema had a hard life (granted, Neema’s past wasn’t as bad as Erik’s but still) that somehow affected their reputation

-He put Paka to sleep with a soothing melody (AKA he recreates “Music of the Night”)

-“[Why would anyone want to date a strange individual who’s killed people? That just sounds like a toxic relationship.]”-Neema at one point

-The reptiles like to refer to Neema as an “angel of music”

-Tamka brings up “the point of no return”

-Like Erik, Neema kills someone

-One of the reasons he sabotages a show is that a certain spot isn’t left for him. It’s HIS spot, no one else’s

-Neema and Erik both get exposed

-Both phantoms get affection at the end

-Neema’s point of no return is to either quit this double life thing and go back to being in Kiburi’s float or stick to being a phantom and leave his only family permanently. Although Tamka/Nduli think Neema’s gonna give THEM a choice to either join him or he’ll kill everybody, to which Kiburi shuts it down cuz that makes zero sense

Differences:

-There is no operatic singing in the episode. It has singing (the Grasslands are a musical place) but not actual opera. Also there’s no Raoul nor Persian

-While Erik loves/is obsessed with Christine, Neema is aromantic and has no interest in anyone

-Neema does not wear a mask that covers his face (except during the masquerade scene)

-Like I said before, everything between them is platonic and healthy. Though Neema DOES have a soft spot for her. If anything, they’d be QPP’s

-Erik and Neema haunt their respective places for different reasons. Erik does it cuz of his passion for opera and obsession for Christine. Neema honestly just likes the music. The hero thing just comes with it.

-Two things: it was completely platonic and Neema hummed the song since he’s mute and can’t sing. It’s more of a lullaby than a romantic ballad

-Neema isn’t jealous nor possessive. The most he does when he sees Paka with someone else is make sure they don’t hurt her. He’s more protective if anything

-my guy is not a teacher. He’s never taught anyone anything (except maybe how to stand up for yourself)

-As much as I love the scene, it ain’t happening with Neema and Paka. Way too sexual for them (and the episode fic) ��

-Unlike Erik he killed someone cuz he was hungry, not to sabotage the show. Though everybody else seems to think differently

-He doesn’t kill anyone cuz of it, although he does cause a monkey to interrupt it by scaring him

-While Erik’s face gets exposed during an opera in front of everyone, Neema’s confronted by Kiburi’s float and basically gets exposed then

-Erik gets a kiss while Neema and Paka share a hug and a head pat :)

-Neema’s ending is veeeeeeery different from Erik’s. Neema doesn’t die like in the book nor does he completely quit being a phantom and not see Paka again. He goes back with his float in the end, but he continues to be a Phantom hero in the Grasslands.

There’s a reason Neema kept up the whole “Phantom” act and it kinda has something to do with his past. Neema was raised by strict, but somewhat supportive parents as a hatchling. He never learned to actually talk but his parents convinced him that being quiet was a good thing. “Silence is golden” they’d always say. “Just do as you’re told and they’ll like you”. It was like that for a while until the day he saved that lizard. Being referred to as a “hero” awakened something in him that day. He likes being some mysterious heroic entity, he likes playing with the Grasslanders and telling them what to do, he likes keeping animals on their toes, he likes the music the Grasslands have.

He likes being his own animal.

He’s been following and obeying his leaders all his life. Don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t necessarily mind it and he loves his friends, but it just feels nice to be someone now that he’s found his passion.

Nne and Tano found out when they got hungry and wanted to try something different rather than a mole rat or trying to eat animals from the Pridelands. They soon found themselves in the Grasslands and just so happened to spot Paka walking around. Just as they cornered her, Neema came out of nowhere, gave Paka a chance to run away, and began to attack the pair…until they recognized him like “Hey wait a minute…we know you! You’re one of the crocodiles in Kiburi’s float! What’re you doing here?”. It took a bit, but the pair finally figured out that Neema was a phantom and decide to join him. They never let anyone know since (until Kiburi basically forced them to tell where Neema was going).

Ever since Paka heard about this supposed phantom saving one of her lizard friends, her sleep schedule has been out of whack (seeing how black-footed cats are nocturnal) and she’s been obsessed with seeing it for herself. It only grew when Neema saved her and she went from wanting to see him to wanting to get to know him. Luckily, Neema took interest in the little feline due to her personality and shared love for music and began watching over her. He’s even led her to his water cave (where he hummed her his lullaby) and their friendship grew from there. She doesn’t really understand him so they communicate by yes or no questions until Kiburi comes along. Same with Nne and Tano.

Unrelated, but I just realized a pattern with my headcanons for Kiburi’s float: I gave them all desires

Kiburi wants to be good enough to make his dad proud like he promised

Tamka wants to be seen as more than just one thing (which is an idiot). He wants to pursue his passion and show he’s capable of doing things

Neema wants to feel like somebody. Like I said, he’s been a follower for way too long and he wants to find himself

Nduli wants everything to stay the same. He’s lost so much due to change and he doesn’t want to lose anything or anybody else, so he clings to his loved ones in hopes they won’t let go

Wakali wants to be taken seriously since her young age and albinism causes other animals to underestimate her

Even Makuu wants to show everyone that he’s changed his ways and wants to leave a legacy. It was the same thing with Pua, although nowadays he just wants to live his best life

Ucheshi got what she wanted in that Udugu episode I have-she got her big brother back :)

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Alright my dudes, it’s time for another episode of Bedtime Stories With PCE,

•Comeback Of The Year•

For those unfamiliar, the Bedtime Stories series has been continuations of fics I published on ao3, within the OrangeJuiceVerse, that I don’t feel necessary have a place within the official lineup. This one is a little different.

This story isn’t a continuation or something that happened when we were in another character’s perspective; rather it’s a what we didn’t see. Chronologically, this takes place after the main 5’s first year of college, during the time Cartman’s leaving Colorado and Kenjorine and Style are moving into their campus apartments, set between Extremely Stupid And Incredibly Avoidable and It’s Not The Frat Flu. (As usual you don’t need to be familiar with those or the OJV in general to read this lmao)

ALSO!!! This idea is inspired by a suggestion from my dearest sickfic queen Ana @alwaysinstyle and I’ll explain under the cut before we get into the story!

(Tw for Kyle’s eating disorder thoughts, mention of behavior and mentality surrounding)

So I’ve talked before about OrangeJuiceVerse Kyle being a recovered anorexic, and said I probably wouldn’t write something with him actively struggling with his ed, BUT, my fine friends, last week in the R.A.N.T. Park chat the girlies and I were discussing my impending move and the factors surrounding it (including your local Whumpshot Wizard trying to kick her own relapse’s ass before my husband and I move rip lol), and Ana slid into my messages like “I have an idea that could work for OJV Kyle” and I RAN WITH IT!!!

Thus, this was born. A tale of everyone’s favorite ginger coming face to face with an eating disorder relapse in the middle of moving apartments in the summer heat. There is a fair amount of angst, but a lot of wholesome moments too, a lot of hope and healthy communication in typical PastorCraigEnjoyer fashion! And plenty of Stan being the sweetest boy on planet Earth lmfao I’m obsessed with OJV Stan it’s fine

If y’all read this, PLEASE let me know what you thought, and I hope it pleases and sparkles!!!

Without further ado, here y’all go:

——————————————————————————

Mid July was excruciating, to put it mildly, even in Colorado. Kyle couldn’t imagine how rough summers must be for someone in, like, Texas or something.

Maybe the weather would be tolerable if he was lying in the shade somewhere with an ice cold drink in his hand, listening to Stan play the guitar, maybe watching lazy clouds float through the endless blue. That idyllic mental picture was a lot more pleasant than his current reality.

“Ay! Get your lazy ass over here and help Kinny with this chair!”

Moving.

The weird little house they’d spent the last year living in no longer suited the group’s needs, with Cartman declaring his gap year done and announcing that the online matchmaking and wedding planning service he’d been building up had taken off, that he’d be moving to Nevada. It was a fitting career for him, Kyle thought, but even if he and a certain abrasive fuckwad butted heads from time to time, that big of a change to the group dynamic made him anxious. They’d collectively decided to disband the SP Survivors Safehouse, all knowing that it wouldn’t be the same from here on out, but none of them giving voice to that.

It wasn’t that he was completely sad about leaving that place behind; it was kind of a shitbox, and these campus apartments were nice and well maintained. He and Stan would only be a few doors down from Kenny and Marj, and the units were decently spacious for what the rent was. Just… the adjustment of it all. The change in routine and life in general. That’s what had him stressed.

With a groan, Kyle pushed himself off the wall where he’d been taking a breather. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.”

Out of the minute shade the shadow of the building had cast, his vision went spotty with the shift in temperature. Seriously, it was too goddamn hot for this shit.

Kenny unclipped the ratchet strap holding his favorite recliner (a well loved sidewalk find) to the bed of the truck, turning to look at him with a quizzical expression.

“You good, firefox?”

“I’ll be better when we’re done getting everything inside,” Kyle complained, and immediately regretted his tone. All of them were out in the sun, not just him. “It’s just hot,” he amended.

Hopping out of Resurrection, Kenny gestured for him to climb into the bed. “I hear that, brother. Even Fatboy’s helpin’ speed shit up.”

From the staircase, arms laden with boxes, Cartman called down a “I heard that, broke ass bitch!”

“I’m commending your work ethic!” Kenny argued back, wide grin on his face. He braced himself to catch one side of the chair. “Gonna miss that fucker.”

Kyle shook his head and slowly walked the furniture to the edge of the tailgate. “He’ll be blowing up our phones with stupid shit even more than he already does.” Though, it’d take more getting used to than he wanted to think about. He didn’t have the energy to stress over it more than he already had been. He sighed. “We’ll get used to it. Ready?”

“When you are.”

“Yep, careful, Ken.”

“When am I ever not careful?” The blond replied with a smirk.

“I’m not answering that.”

Kenny chuckled, enviously buoyant and upbeat in a way Kyle couldn’t seem to match. The guy had always been a little more go with the flow, cryptic and weird sometimes, yeah, but overall good for a smile when you needed one, and Kyle very much did right now. He’d been driving everyone up the wall the past few weeks with his neuroticism; maybe he should take a page out of Kenny’s book.

“Alright, dude,” he said, “it’s coming down.”

Step one and done, chair on the grass, Kyle hopped out of the bed to begin the arduous task of helping his friend haul the damn thing up the stairs. Not particularly heavy, but awkward, and Kyle wasn’t feeling very strong today. Past month or so, come to think of it.

He knew why, of course, and it was his own damn fault.

Stress had always effected his appetite, and with everything going on, he’d fallen into some… old habits. And the worst part was, he was good at hiding it, even from his boyfriend. For nearly five years, Stan had been diligent (on his ass) about his eating habits, his health in general. Stan didn’t find Cartman’s ed jokes funny even when Kyle himself did. None of it was funny now.

He didn’t realize what was happening until he was already in it, an involuntary deficit awakening long dormant thoughts and behaviors, secrecy and avoidance. The lying came naturally, and that made him feel worse.

But it wasn’t a problem, Kyle told himself. He’d get back on track and no one would have to know, once they got this new chapter of their lives up and running. Just a momentary slip up, nothing to start an upset over. He was fine.

To prove it, Kyle let Kenny lead in front, taking most of the weight as they climbed the stairs. His friend whistled something he couldn’t quite place while he walked backwards, like he didn’t have a care in the world. A sickening trickle of sweat ran down Kyle’s back, an annoying ringing in his ears.

His arms were shaking when they at long last made it to the open door of number 207, and he spared a glance across the hall and down a ways to unit 210, his new home with Stan, who was currently inside with Marj getting the couch set up.

“Kyle? Hey, man, you hear me?”

Snapping back to attention, Kyle pulled his focus back to Kenny. “Sorry, what’d you say?”

Kenny raised his eyebrows and started backing up into the apartment again. “Dude, I was saying we could put the chair in the corner for now. You alright?”

“Like I said, just the heat,” Kyle assured him. Though now that he was inside, out of the open concrete hallway with its hot wind, he was suddenly freezing. Freezing, but still dripping sweat from what felt like every pore. Maybe coffee wasn’t enough to get him through the morning after all, but he hadn’t been able to stomach the thought of anything else.

Cartman rounded the corner, wiping his hands on his jeans and scowling on his way to the front door to grab some more stuff from the truck.

“This is why I told you guys to hire movers like I did,” he started condescendingly. “By the time I get to my sweet new house tomorrow, all I’ll have to bring in is my backpack.”

“And yet you’re still helping us out of the goodness of your big fat heart,” Kenny pointed out. “You do love us.”

“Nah, fuck you guys.” Cartman flipped them a middle finger on his way out.

Kenny laughed as he set his side of the chair down, Kyle following suit on that, but not the laughter.

His head felt like it was being squeezed on all sides, blood fervently racing through his veins, clouds at the edges of his sight. He hadn’t even straightened yet, but the room was spinning. Kyle slowly pulled himself up, undeniable dread flooding his gut when the vertigo worsened.

“I’m-“ he started thickly, swallowing hard with a throat that felt like a stale desert. His own voice sounded like he was hearing it underwater. “Ken, I don’t feel so good-“

Kenny’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit, you look like a ghost! Okay, get down, get down, you’re good, dude, sit down…”

Even with Kenny’s secure grip on his arms, Kyle felt his legs turn to jelly right as his vision turned white.

He couldn’t decipher what his friend was saying, only that his tone was calm, reassuring and steady. How was Kenny so calm? Kyle was abruptly made aware of his own panicked breathing, eyes burning with tears while they struggled to focus again. He was on the floor, and didn’t remember getting there. Why was it so cold?

“-re you are.” Kenny’s voice still sounded distant, but a little clearer now. “Just keep your eyes open, dude, we know how to handle this, you’re fine.” The blond turned his head to the open door. “STAN!”

Kyle felt wrong. He hadn’t gotten snappy and irritable like he usually did when his blood sugar dropped, so even if he was low (definitely on the table here), it wasn’t just that. There was something else up too, and he was scared, and embarrassed, and whyisitsohardtohearanything-

“Ky?! Shit, baby, I’m here, I’ve got you.”

He could blearily make out the shape of his boyfriend kneeling beside him, feel the hand that burned like fire on his cheek. “Can you hear me, dude?”

“‘S hard to,” he managed.

“That’s okay, we’ll fix it, I’m here,” Stan repeated, and looked up at Kenny. “What happened? Did he fall? Pass out or just get really close?”

Kyle was vaguely aware of his tears being wiped away by someone who smelled like green apples. Oh, fuck, he was probably scaring Marj. He had to calm down; panicking never helped in a situation like this.

Kenny stood up, beelining to turn the ceiling fan on. “Said he wasn’t feelin’ good, and then he went all white, and then his eyes rolled back so I got ‘im on the floor. A low, right?”

His hands were tingling. Stan was shaking his head.

“He doesn’t freak out like this over it normally, you know that. Kyle, dude, what else is going on? You get too hot?”

Marjorine sounded worried. “Oh, geez, should we call 911? I’ve heard heat exhaustion can be real bad.”

Kyle’s heart felt like it was working overtime to get blood to his brain, stomach twisting with nausea and mouth drier than the wrinkled up orange peel he’d found in one of Stan’s drawers when they were packing.

Oh.

“Hypotension,” he whispered. “Gotta… legs above my head. Drink something.”

Stan nodded, already sliding a box under his sneakers. “Ken, there’s Gatorade in my bag at our place. Can you grab the full sugar one?”

“On it, bossman.”

Marj softly ran her fingers through his hair, rubbing his temples in an almost motherly gesture. “You just lie still and catch your breath,” she advised. “You’re probably just dehydrated with how hot it is and all. You’ll be feelin’ better in no time.”

Oh, no doubt, but if only it was just that. “I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“Dude.” Stan took his hand and kissed the back of it. “Shit happens, okay? You’re just gonna need to take it easy for the rest of the day, right?”

“Right.” Kyle sighed, uneasy and hating how much his body was still shaking, but at least his senses were starting to come back after a few minutes horizontal. “‘M just not built for summer.”

His partner snorted. “I know, baby. I’ve heard you complain about how sunburned you get every summer for our whole lives. Full on lobster the second the sun comes out. I don’t think I’ve seen you faint from low blood pressure, though, not since-“ Stan’s face fell at the realization. “…oh, Ky, no…”

The mix of shock and concern and guilt and sympathy and fear on Stan’s handsome face felt like a punch in the gut. Kyle couldn’t meet his eyes. “It’s not what you-“

“You were up before me,” Stan cut in. “Did you eat breakfast?”

His head hurt. “I told you I did.”

“And you were lying,” Stan inferred, his voice cracking.

His sweet, sensitive Stan. The regret of hiding his recent bullshit from the man who worried so much about him threatened to, ironically, eat Kyle alive.

Before he could think of something to say to save face, Kenny returned from his side quest, Cartman close behind and carrying a box labeled ‘Another Man’s Treasure’, also known as Kenny’s assortment of random junk to hypothetically be used in a project at some point.

Their no-longer-resident asshole set the box down on the kitchen counter. “You just had to have a dramatic little moment today, didn’t you, Jew?”

“Cartman,” Stan warned, ripping the the nutrition information off of the Gatorade bottle Kenny passed him with far more force than necessary, “I’m telling you right now to lay the fuck off him.”

Naturally, Cartman didn’t lay off. “Hell no! Using his sneaky little ways to get out of physical labor? I must say, Bone Broth, I’m impressed.”

Kyle managed something resembling a weak laugh at that; “Bone Broth” was a new one, so stupid it was almost funny. That is, until the other three shouted “JAR!”.

How were they going to keep up Fuckwad Jar records if the five of them no longer lived together? What even was the point of it anyway? It was too much, all too much. Too much change, too much going on, he felt like microwaved garbage and Stan still had an unreadable look in his eyes. Maybe that was just still Kyle’s brain catching up to full consciousness, though. He could always read Stan, eventually.

He’d have to explain himself later, because his boyfriend had shifted into full caretaking mode.

“Ignore him, dude,” Stan said, taking Marjorine’s spot at his head. “I’m gonna sit you up, really slow, okay?”

Kyle nodded, blinking away the dark spots in his eyes at the movement and letting Stan hold him against his chest, one arm around him for stability, the other guiding him to drink. The cloying taste of lemon lime flooded his tongue, but the thickness in the back of his throat from unshed tears lingered.

Kenny squatted down beside them, extending a fist. “Aight, grandma, dap me up. C’mon, I’m checkin’ your motor functions and shit.��

He obliged, slowly completing the handshake with an eyeroll. Leave it to Kenny McCormick.

Unfortunately, ignoring Cartman was easier said than done, especially when he let out an exaggerated groan.

“I’m so seriously, you guys. I could already be relaxing by the pool at my hotel instead of watching the rest of you coddle the damsel in distress, but nooooo, we have to pause the whole move just because one bird boned bitch can’t pull his weight.”

Kyle was willing to let that one slide; it was true, wasn’t it? Even if Cartman could have phrased it a little less cruelly. Marj stood up on his behalf.

“Eric!” All four boys stilled at her rarely used stern voice. “You know darn well you’re only actin’ out because you don’t do well with change either, mister! Now, apologize right now!”

“Damn, Buttercup,” Kenny whistled, audibly impressed. “Called Fatboy out.”

Cartman grumbled, rolling his eyes, but sighed with genuine defeat. “I’m sorry for being an asshole, now will you guys hop off my dick?”

“None of us want to be on your dick, fatass,” Kyle pointed out.

“Keep it that way, you anemic twink.”

“Okay, I’ve had enough of this,” Stan groaned. “Ky, the bed in our place isn’t made, but it’s put together. Let’s get you somewhere quiet to lie down, okay?”

That sounded nice, but Kyle really wasn’t looking forward to the third degree he was about to get. He didn’t want to get defensive like he knew he would, didn’t want to act like a dick. Still, he resigned himself to be swept up into a safety that didn’t feel deserved.

“Sorry I freaked you guys out,” he muttered, arms draped around Stan’s neck, Gatorade bottle dangling loosely from one hand. “I’ll help finish up in a little bit, promise.”

“No the fuck you won’t.” Stan tightened his grip, pulling Kyle closer to his chest.

As his boyfriend carried him to their apartment, he could hear Cartman taking over command of getting the rest of Kenny and Marj’s stuff in. Dread pooled in his empty stomach, dread that he wanted out. Kyle felt exposed. He’d been seen right through, and scrutinized, all over again.

———

The summer before and into his ninth grade year had been one of the lowest points of Kyle’s life.

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it had all started, but by the time he started to notice the changes to his body, to his pattern of thinking especially, he was spiraling down a dangerous path.

There was comfort in controlling what he could in the here and now, Kyle had realized, especially with the future seeming so uncertain. He wasn’t fucking stupid; he had known right off the bat that obsessively counting, competing with himself to see how little he could get away with eating, even shoving his fingers down his throat on a few occasions just to prove to himself that he had control, all of that was dangerous and would only make him feel worse in the long run. And yet, he’d spent months getting extremely efficient at running on nothing but his own stubbornness.

Kyle hadn’t been the one in control, though, not after a certain point. No, his eating disorder had controlled him.

His mother had seen it, because of course she had. But Sheila Broflovski, loving and caring as she was, hadn’t a clue as to how to approach the matter. One of her “solutions” had been to organize a dinner party with all his friends and their parents, a subtle way, he’d find out years later, to try and get her eldest son to associate food with celebration and love again; good things, not something to be avoided. But the well meaning idea had only sent Kyle into an anxious frenzy.

“Ma, you have got to be fucking joking! You didn’t think, oh, I don’t know, maybe you should ASK ME?”

“Now listen here, young man-“

Oh shit. Kyle knew that tone, and had dreaded hearing it his entire life. Worried and angry at the same time was easily the most frightening version of Sheila Broflovski. He’d seen a good amount of that side of her around that time, come to think of it.

And Kyle could out-argue anyone; he could diffuse high tempers or match them, whatever the situation called for. At fourteen, he counted that as the best tool in his arsenal.

But he had been tired, for months. So fucking tired.

Plus, the only people he’d never won a screaming match against were God and his mother. His voice had, for once, faltered.

He would find a way to make a damn dinner party work.

“S-sorry, ma,” he’d managed. “That sounds like a good idea. Just, uh, just remember that Stan doesn’t eat meat, when you’re cooking. Like, leave the bacon out of the green beans.”

She had looked like there was something on the tip of her tongue that she wanted to ask. Kyle felt the weight of her stare settle on his shoulders like the shirt that had been hanging off of them; incidentally what had caught the attention of the captain of overbearing mothers in the first place.

But she’d softened, apparently having agreed to his unspoken truce and switching tactics. “Alright, sweetie. Now, you’re doing homework in your room again, I’m assuming? Oy, you’ve just been working so hard since high school started! I’m so proud! I’ll bring you some snacks later so you can keep that focus up, bubbeh.”

Kyle had fought to keep his face even. He couldn’t tell her. Not even Stan knew he couldn’t focus if he ate, which was why he… kind of hadn’t been. But he’d nodded and said,

“Okay. Thanks, Ma.”

He hated to think back to that party. The whole night had been spent dodging pointed looks, staying talking as if on autopilot to act okay, to distract the people he loved. To hide. It was his problem, not theirs.

But everything that passed his lips that day did so twice.

———

Now here he was, and it was a problem again.

Kyle’s anxiety only spiked entering the apartment that was, in theory, his home for the next few years. It didn’t feel like home yet, just an impersonal cookie cutter one bedroom, its beige walls and vertical blinds taunting him. New chapter, they seemed to say. New chapter, but there’s a misprint; we’ve read these words before.

Stan softly kissed his forehead and set him down on the bare mattress. “You’ve got some color back,” he noted. “How do you feel?”

Looking anywhere that wasn’t into worried blue eyes, Kyle shrugged. “Okay, I guess. Hands are cold.”

“Baby, look at me.” Stan took his hands in his own warm ones and drew a deep breath. “Dude, are you relapsing?”

“That’s not-“ Kyle forced himself to pause and take the hostility from his voice. He needed to communicate clearly and honestly; immediately acting like he was being attacked would help no one here, and Stan only got overreactive when he had cause to freak out.

“I’m not sure,” he admitted quietly. “It just kind of… happened, I guess. I didn’t realize, dude, I swear. Not really.”

“…okay.” Stan was chewing his bottom lip, and Kyle’s heart lurched, feeling his boyfriend’s fingers twitching but not letting go of his hands even though he obviously wanted to chew at his own like when he got nervous. “How long?”

“Past month or so?” Kyle guessed. “Seriously, I was gonna go back to normal after we got settled in; it wasn’t on purpose-“

“That’s not you talking,” Stan interrupted. “Honey, you know that’s not you. That’s the anorexia. Trying to justify it.”

Stan was never this blunt. He hated using that word, always had. He said it felt too big, too scary. Kyle didn’t want him to be scared.

“Dude, it’s under control,” he insisted. I just needed one less thing to think about for a little bit.”

“Do you even hear what you’re saying?!?” Stan asked incredulously. “Ky, you know better! You know that’s not how this works!”

“Don’t fucking yell at me!” Kyle sobbed out, overwhelmed and hating that he was crying again. He was the least prone to tears of the group; another thing that was apparently crumbling.

Stan slowly sat down on the edge of the bed, hands up in surrender and eyes like saucers.

“Baby, baby, shh, I’m not yelling, okay? I’m not mad at you. I’d never be, no matter what.”

“I… I know,” Kyle whispered. He didn’t protest Stan’s hand moving up to cup his cheek tenderly.

“Kyle, you remember what you told me your therapist said when we were in high school? That it’s a slippery slope, dude. You give it an inch, it takes a mile, right?”

She had used a metaphor that stuck with him. say you’re climbing a mountain, sticking to the path that you know you’re supposed to be on. A few feet to the side, there’s what looks like a shortcut, something easier than the path. But what you don’t see until it’s too late, and you’ve already strayed, is that the shortcut gives way to slippery gravel, and eventually you slide back down to where you started.

“Fuck, dude,” Kyle groaned. “Can we just pretend this never happened? It’s out in the fucking open now, not like you’re gonna let me get away with more bullshit.”

Stan shook his head. “I’m not gonna let it keep trying to get you, dude. It made you sick.” He looked down, shoulders sagging. “I’m sorry I didn’t know. I knew you were stressed, I just-“

“Sweetheart, c’mon.” Kyle wasn’t about to let Stan blame himself for missing the signs. “Don’t do that. I’m just really good at hiding it.”

“Making your ancestors proud with your deceptive ways,” Cartman quipped from the doorway. He turned his attention to Stan. “Hey, Big ‘n Tall. Marj needs help with a bookshelf.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “So why aren’t you helping her? I’m busy.”

“Because.” Cartman crossed his beefy arms over his chest. “I need to have a little talk with Kahl.”

Clearly suspicious, Stan stood up and squared to their friend. Kyle knew the two of them didn’t usually have real beef, but Stan was obviously on edge and feeling overprotective.

“He’s not feeling well, assclown. I don’t want you to work him up.”

Cartman raised one eyebrow, unfazed by Stan’s intimidation tactics. All five of them knew that while he could certainly look scary, he wouldn’t hurt a fly unless completely unavoidable.

“Relax, Lancelot, I can babysit your languishing fleshlight without starting a fight.”

Annoyed, Kyle raised his hand. “You two realize I can hear you.”

Stan glanced back and forth between them for a pregnant moment, then sighed. He knew Kyle could handle himself, especially when it came to Cartman being an asshole, which was much appreciated. Finally, he sighed, relenting.

“Alright. Ky, just take it easy, okay? I’ll be right back. Cartman-“

“-Don’t piss off the Jew, got it.”

Stan bent down to kiss Kyle gently while Cartman pretended to gag. “We’ll beat it together, baby.”

“Together,” Kyle agreed, feeling like there was a fist clenching his heart when his partner left the room. Cartman sat on the edge of the bed and glared at him.

“You’re a fucking dumbass.”

Classy. “Thank you, Cartman, is that all?”

“No, that’s not all, bitch. Listen up.”

And Kyle was, picking up on the seriousness in his friend’s voice. He sipped at his Gatorade and gestured for him to go on.

“I need you to be okay, you idiot.”

That made Kyle pause. Cartman anxiously ran his hands through his messy brown hair.

“Look, dickhole, it’s no secret that your body hates you. Sucks to suck, and all that. But you’re stupid for thinking you can outsmart it. That shit-“ he gestured vaguely in the direction of Kenny and Marj’s place. “-That shit can’t happen. You can’t get sick like when we were in high school.”

Kyle opened his mouth to insist that he was never planning on letting it get that far, but Cartman held up a hand.

“We all know you love to talk, but let me finish.” He shot Kyle a look that meant business until he was sure he wasn’t going to be interrupted. “Good. Okay. Fuck, this is hard to say, alright. Okay. You can’t get sick,” he repeated. “It would fucking break Stan. The stupid hippie would cease to exist if anything happened to you, and you know I’m not fucking around. He needs you. We… all need your annoying ass.”

Against his will, Kyle started to smile. “Is this you admitting you’re gonna miss me, Eric? Kenny was right, you do love us.”

“Fuck off, I hate you guys,” Cartman muttered. “And Christ, just call me “fatass”, it’s gross when you use my name. Save the faggotry for that misguided simp of yours.”

Kyle laughed. His face was tingling, but he really was feeling a little more human. “Just trying to annoy you, fatass.”

“Good. Keep doing that. Don’t make it weird. Listen…”

Cartman took a deep breath, like he was about to dive into the unexplored. Well, he kind of was, starting his career away from the safety net of the rest of them, Kyle supposed.

“This doesn’t leave this room, am I clear, Starving In Suburbia?”

“You know, it concerns me every time you reference one of those movies.”

“Damnit, Jew, am I clear?”

“Jesus, yes. What?”

“If you, uh, if you want, I can ask my therapist for some recommendations. You know, colleagues of his that do remote sessions and specialize in your bullshit.”

Kyle knew Cartman hated talking about therapy, about his fucked up brain and cocktail of medications, so the fact that he was offering was wild. Probably not necessary, but wild.

“Dude,” Kyle started, “I appreciate that, seriously. But I don’t think it’s at that point, you know?”

“I have a call with him day after tomorrow, I’ll at least get some names.” The way he said it made it clear that he needed to feel like he was helping. Not for Kyle’s sake, but for his own peace of mind.

Kyle sighed. “Thank you. Seriously, that’s really nice of you, dude.”

Cartman scoffed. “Please. I just need you to have your shit together so I can torture you without, like, karmic consequences.”

Typical. “Karmic consequences, huh?”

“Uh, duh, dumbass. You can’t rip on an anorexic if they’re actively in it. Everyone knows that.” He rolled his eyes. “For real, though. Get your shit together. I’m not having this conversation again.”

Movement caught Kyle’s eye in the doorway. Stan, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, but his face was relaxed, like he’d heard that last part.

Cartman turned. “Oh good, the guard dog’s back.” He sprang up like he hadn’t just hit Kyle with the tough love he didn’t know he needed. “Later, cocksuckers.”

“Thanks again, fatass,” Kyle repeated.

“Thank me by not being a delicate little bitch next time.”

Stan took his spot on the mattress, eyebrow raised. “Dare I ask?”

Kyle sat up against the headboard, curling his arms around his legs and resting his chin on his knees. “Just wanted to tell me to get it together. Apparently kicking me when I’m down would cause cosmic chaos.”

“Can’t have that,” Stan chuckled. “But really, dude. What do we need to do here? I’m not letting this thing fuck with you anymore than it already has.”

Thinking back to the first time around, Kyle remembered how strict his rules had been in early recovery. Meal plan, online school, limited physical activity, outpatient therapy multiple times a week. Granted, he’d been pretty fucked physically and mentally back then. This hardly even compared, in his eyes.

“I… think I just need accountability,” he said carefully. “For a little while, it’s not like…” Kyle sighed again. “Believe me when I say it’s not like it was the first time, Stan. It’s just… call it a sophomore slump, I guess.”

Stan cracked a half smile, still visibly worried, but like he trusted him. “Little slip up? You’re feeling like you can get yourself healthy pretty quickly?”

Kyle reached a hand out to take Stan’s. “Promise. The mentality behind it isn’t the same, you know? The body dysmorphia and the compulsions aren’t there, I just fell into some of the habits. Call me on it if you see it, okay?”

“I will, dude,” Stan swore. “I’ve always got your back.

Stan used their intertwined hands to pull Kyle into his lap, softly rubbing his back. “I need something from you too though.”

“Mhm?”

“I need you to tell me when you need support, baby. With words. I don’t want to miss the signs again, dude.”

Kyle looked up into his impossibly soft gaze, both vulnerable and open. “Oh, sweetheart, hey. That’s not on you, at all.”

“It is, though.” Stan cupped around the back of Kyle’s neck, bringing his head back into his chest protectively. “We’re a team, Ky. How many times have you told me that? Whatever the game is, we’re on the same side.”

“Dude, don’t quote me at me,” Kyle laughed. It had the intended effect, though, for sure. “But I hear you.”

“Yep, and we’ll be all good in no time,” Stan promised. “We’ll get used to this new place, start our second year of school, all that shit. It always works out, right?”

“We figure it out,” Kyle confirmed.

Stan’s grin was audible, brilliant and soul stirring, even if Kyle couldn’t see it. “Turn that sophomore slump into the comeback of the year.”

Then Kyle did pull away enough to see his face, trying to feign annoyance on his part. “How’d I know you were gonna quote Fall Out Boy at me?”

“Hey, you started it, I just finished it.”

“Proud of yourself, Stanathan?”

“Very much so.” Stan lightly ran his thumb over Kyle’s bottom lip before kissing him softly.

And Kyle believed him when he said, “but more proud of you.”

[harley-the-pancake]

This is just a post to try and keep things organized on my blog. If you want to know my pronouns, name I go by, age, etc, just look in my bio. I just reblog and post whatever I want.

I don’t have an official dni, I just don’t give a fuck half the time, as long as you aren’t a dick to others, you can stay

I also don’t mind people using ideas that I have, making things off of the ideas or fics I have, or tagging me in silly @ games.

I also have a second account I occasionally use as a studyblr, which is Pancake-tries-college.

My AO3 is Pancake_Overlord

I have two side blogs:

@pancake-tries-college is where I keep my adulting stuff

@bite-sized-pancakes is where I keep my little stuff cause I think I may be an age dreamer 👍

My pfp is made by a picrew from @wervty

Important sorting tags:

#vent chai latte - posts that are vents or emotional (I don’t always use it I am gonna be honest)

#diary posting - a new tag I’ll be using when I ramble about emotions, meds or just more personal things that are not about my school or friends (LATER HARLEY UPDATE: It is also becoming a bit of less fun school stuff tag, eg talking with professors, getting homework done, etc)

#Into the datemate pile - a tag that I use just to save & share things with my datemate, who does not have an active tumblr

#ph anon of the opera - my ask tag. It does not matter if you are anon or no, you are all ph anon in my eyes hearts (I also have a tendency of hoarding my asks but be free to still send me asks)

#ask game - just replies I’m saving from like descriptions of me or ask games

#my wife saga - my datemate is studying abroad then researching in idaho so I’m being dramatic. This will be happening for 3 months.

#holly on the wally - my tag for my dog Holly! You can block this if you want or if you don’t like dogs

Tell me if I need to tag anything for you

From @hee-blee-art

Posts that I feel like sharing:

A post I made about saving Rats SMP vods and led to some decent archives. I did nothing, but it has the link to the document that has a whole lot of links so!

A post I made with a document that I use to save a whole lot of MCC vods and a few VODs I have saved myself

Not an important post, however it’s a post I love and I want to keep on my pinned for when I want to see. It entails some games of One Night Ultimate Werewolf for my datemate’s birthday

This isn’t a post of mine, but I wanted to save Tumblr fairy tales

A ramble on the life series from my datemate. Read it. This is a threat /silly

A list of things to cheer anyone up ^-^

Candy for any trick or treaters who don’t want to send an ask

Best video ever

Datemate poll

[americasass91]

Bad Day

I know what you’re thinking. Another one? Yes, I can’t help my Shameless Hoe self. Steve brings it out in me and the picture above sure as fuck didn’t help. Plus it’s that time of the month and I’m hormonal and horny. This is another entry for the #shamelesshoeforchris by @stargazingfangirl18​ and @navybrat817​. I hope you enjoy!  

Prompts:

“Oh god, did I say that out loud?”

“We’re not done yet”

“Please don’t go”

Words:4.2k

Rating: Explicit(seems to be a theme with me lol)

Warnings: Bad day, smut, period talk, language, unprotected sex, cockwarming

Well, today can officially go fuck itself.

It’s one of the worst days you’ve had in quite awhile.

Your alarm decided not to go off this morning so that made you late and threw off your whole day.

Then you couldn’t find your damn keys. You thought you put them in the bowl by your door but they just weren’t there. You had to spend an extra 20 minutes looking for them(they were in the fridge, how the fuck they ended up there, you’ll never know).

Now you were super late to work. You don’t even have time to stop at Starbucks to get your cold brew. And to top it all off, you started cramping. Signaling your oncoming period. You always got cramps a few days before the inevitable blood bath began. ‘That’s why I’ve been super moody and horny the past couple of days’ you think to yourself as you make your way to your car.

You manage to make it to work unscathed. You head into the Avengers Tower and put your head down to avoid any unnecessary eye contact as you practically run towards the elevators.

Just as the doors shut, your phone dings. Signaling a text.

From: ManChild

Hey, Y/N. Just wondering if you’re planning on coming in today.

You roll your eyes and throw your phone back in your purse not even responding knowing you’ll be seeing your boss in just a minute.

When you got the job as Tony Stark’s assistant you thought it’d be a dream come true. Try nightmare! He’s the biggest child you have ever met. He’s all over the place and it’s your job to try to keep him together. You’re damn good at it too. Some days you don’t even know how you pull it off.

The elevator stops on your floor and you head towards his office. Nat passes you on your way there. “Good morning, Y/N/N! Where’s your cold brew?”

“Good morning, Nat. And ugh don’t even get me started on my horrible day. I didn’t have enough time to stop at Starbucks.” You know you sound whiny but you don’t care. You wave bye to her and pick up your pace a little.

As you continue down the hall, you get a feeling in your lower abdomen that can only be described as a hot knife slicing through your skin. You grab at your stomach and rub as if that’s going to make the pain subside. Shocker, it does absolutely nothing to alleviate the pain.

You start rummaging in your purse trying to find your ibuprofen. You round the corner with your head still down and run straight into what you assume is a brick wall. You brace yourself to hit the floor, accepting your fate, when a hand grabs your arm to steady you.

You look up into the apologetic, blue eyes of Steve Rogers. That’s about the time you feel how wet and sticky you are. You look down and notice you are covered in some kind of brown substance.

“Oh my god,Y/N! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention and didn’t see you round the corner. Are you alright?” He asks as he stands you completely upright, noticing your stained clothing.

“What is all over me?” You try to start brushing yourself off, making the stain even worse. “My protein shake, I chose chocolate instead of vanilla today. I’m so sorry! I’ll go get you some paper towels.”

“No, I don’t have time. I’m already late and Tony is already pissed at me. I gotta get going. Just make sure to watch where you are going next time. Wouldn’t want your cute, righteous ass to get hurt.” You wink at him and continue your way to your office. Your eyes widen as you realize what you just said. What the fuck is wrong with you? You’ve never said anything like that before to Steve. Jesus, you must be hornier than you thought.

You finally walk through your office door and head to your desk. You hang up your purse on it’s hook and head over to the little bathroom in the office. You wet some paper towels and try to start wiping at the stain on your shirt and pants. You know they are ruined. Not even worth saving. You shrug your shoulders and throw away the soiled paper towels and head back to your desk.

Before you even get the chance to sit down Tony comes strutting out of his office.

“Oh, so you did decide to show up today! You could have at least let me know you were going to be late, Y/N. And not only are you late but you come in all sloppy! I thought you were better than this?” He raises his eyebrows at you expectantly.

Apparently he wanted an answer. “Sorry sir, I have not had the best morning. And on my way here I ran into Steve’s protein shake.” You sigh and look down at your ruined clothes once again. You can feel tears start to well up, god damn hormones. “And to top it all off I’m cramping really bad and could just really use a warm hug, chocolate, an orgasm, and a really long nap.”

Tony’s eyes went wide. “Uh, listen kid I-”

“Oh god, did I say that out loud?” You smack your hand to your forehead. “I’m sorry sir, can we just start over?”

“Actually no. What you can do is go home and get some rest. You clearly need it. And we can try again tomorrow.”

“But I need to work, I can’t afford a day off. Please I promise I’m fine. I won’t cause anymore trouble.” You beg, you really needed the money.

Tony walks over and takes your purse off the hook and hands it to you. “I wasn’t asking dear, I was telling. And don’t worry about the money, I’ll make sure you get paid. We’ll call it a sick day.”

Wow, he’s the best boss ever. You feel the tears welling up again. You reach forward and pull him into your arms for a quick hug, careful not to get any of the protein shake on him.  “Thank you Tony, I really appreciate it.”

“Don’t worry about it, kid. We all have off days. Now get going before I change my mind.” He winks at you and pushes you near the door.

You already start feeling a little better. Knowing your bed and heating pad are waiting for you at home.

You pass by Steve and Bruce on your way towards the elevators. They seem to be having an important discussion about something. You can’t help but take a minute and let your eyes travel over Steve. God he’s fucking beautiful. You’d give anything to be able to climb him like a tree. Just let him fuck your bra- ‘Ok I really need to get out of here before my hormones make me mount him’ you think as you shake your head and start chuckling at yourself.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

You somehow make it home without anything else bad happening to you.

You head straight to your bedroom and strip out of your ruined clothes, throwing them away. You take a moment to grieve silently. Those were your favorite work slacks.

You jump in the shower and turn it as hot as you can stand it. You start to shampoo your hair when the water suddenly turns ice cold. “Jesus fuck!” You shriek as you jump backwards out of the offending water. You try turning the shower off and back on. But nope, the hot water was not working. “God fucking dammit” you murmur as you try your best to finish your shower in the freezing cold water.

You finish quickly and dry off as fast as you can. You grab a pair of snoopy pajama pants and a big sweatshirt. You also decide on a pair of fuzzy socks. You brush out your tangled hair and throw it up into a bun.

You then go call your landlord to let them know about your shower. He can make it there sometime tomorrow evening. You thank him for being able to come so quickly and head to your bedroom to grab your heating pad.

You stop by the kitchen on the way to the living room to grab something to munch on. You open your pantry and spy the jar of Nutella. You snatch it up and realize it’s empty. Oh well, probably don’t need it anyways. You grab a bottle of water from the fridge instead and head over and plop down on your couch.

You grab the remote and start up Netflix. You plug in your heating pad beside the couch and put it under your sweatshirt right up against your pulsing abdomen.

You start searching through Netflix, looking for something to put on as background noise. You know you’ll end up playing on your phone anyways.

You pick Young and Hungry. You’ve seen it multiple times but decide to start at Episode 1. It never fails to make you laugh.

You press play and then it hits you. You don’t feel any heat on your lower abdomen. You turn around and make sure it didn’t come unplugged. It didn’t. You pull it out of your sweatshirt to see the green light is still on. It isn’t heating up at all. Of course it would break on today of all days. That was the last straw. You break down and start crying. God you really hated your period.

You sit there and self wallow for about 5 minutes before you hear a knock on the door.

You quickly wipe at your eyes with the sleeve of your sweatshirt and walk over to the door, having no idea who it could be.

You open it up and are pleasantly surprised to see Steve standing there with a bouquet of daisies.

He takes in your appearance quickly and smiles at you. “Hi doll, I stopped by your desk but Tony said you went home for the day not feeling well.” He hands you the flowers, which you accept gratefully. “I just wanted to apologize again for this morning. And offer to give you money to replace your clothes.” He goes to take his wallet out of his jeans. You put your hand on his arm, “Really you don’t have to do that. It wasn’t your fault. I wasn’t watching where I was going. But thank you for the daisies. I’m having the shittiest day and you’ve just made it a little less shitty.” You then give him your best smile.

He feels his heart rate pick up. “Are you sure? I don’t mind paying. And I’m sorry you’re having a bad day. Do you want to talk about it? I know sometimes that can help.” He gives you a smile that makes your insides melt. “You don’t have to listen to my problems, but you can come in and hang out if you don’t have any prior engagements.” You step aside and gesture for him to come in.

He crosses the threshold and heads towards the living room, seeing your heating pad lying on the floor. He furrows his brows and wonders why you’d need a heating pad.

You head into the kitchen and quickly put the flowers in a vase with some water, wanting to get to Steve.

You head into the living room and see him looking at your useless heating pad. “Oh, that’s broken. I need to throw that away.” You head over to pick it up and go toss it in the kitchen trash.

You head back into the living room and see that Steve has taken a seat on your couch. You go sit beside him and turn to look at him. “Thanks again for the flowers, Steve. You didn’t have to do that.”

He turns towards you and smiles. “It’s the least I could do. Why were you using a heating pad? I didn’t hurt you when I ran into you did I?”

You blush and look down. “Oh, no. Don’t worry about that. I’m just having some pretty bad cramps.” You can’t believe you just admitted to Steve that you’re cramping. How embarrassing.

He gives you a sympathetic look. “I can’t say I know what those feel like but I’m sorry you’re in pain. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Unless you give off heat, no unfortunately there’s not. I already took pain meds when I got home.”

He then reaches and grabs your arms and lays back on the couch, bringing you with him until your back is pressed against his front. “Steve, what are you doing?” You ask as you go to sit back up. He tightens his hold on you. “Just wait a second, doll. I’m helping.” He takes his right hand and moves your sweatshirt up just a bit making you gasp. He places his giant hand on your abdomen and starts massaging gently.

You melt into him. “Oh my god, you feel better than my heating pad. Why are you so hot?” You moan and realize how that could’ve sounded. He just chuckles. “Just one of the side effects of the serum. Is that feeling any better?” You nod and snuggle back against him, your arms curling around his.

“What else happened today, doll?” You start by telling him about your alarm and end with you breaking down after you realized your heating pad broke. “I still can’t believe I told my boss I needed an orgasm, I mean how fucking embarrassing. He probably sent me home because he was afraid of me.” You shake your head at yourself as Steve chuckles behind you. “Well, aren’t orgasms supposed to help with cramps?”

“What are you reading on the internet where you would’ve gotten that information Steve?” You tease. His hand has now dipped below your pajama pants just a little, settling on your lower abdomen. “Actually, I heard Nat talking about it one day. She said it really helps hers. Is that true for all women or just some?”

You close your eyes as he starts massaging your tummy again, “It makes my best friend’s cramps worse. I guess it really just depends on the woman.”

“Well, what about you? Do they make you feel better?” You couldn’t help but notice something hardening behind your ass. You gulp and whisper out “yes, they have in the past.” You can feel him press against you a little more, a small groan escaping his lips. “Well, why don’t you let me help you feel better?” His hand starts moving towards your panties. Then he stops suddenly and pulls his hand out.

“Wait, are you bleeding? I don’t want to make a mess on your couch.”  You turn around and face him, “No, I’m lucky enough to get cramps a few days before shark week starts.” You say sarcastically. “But Steve, you don’t have to help me. I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it for awhile now.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear that had fallen free from your messy bun. He looks into your eyes and smirks, “But what if I want to help you? Would you let me?”

You think about it for less than a minute and scoot a little closer to him, “If you really want to Steve. I’ll leave that up to you.”

He moves his hand to the back of your neck and pulls you in for a sweet kiss. You reach up and run your fingers through his hair as his left hand moves under you to rest on your back, pulling you closer to him. He moves his right hand down your body and grabs your leg to hitch it over his hip.

You gasp into his mouth as you feel how hard he is, pressing right into your core. He takes this opportunity to explore your mouth with his tongue. You kiss back eagerly and start rolling your hips against him. He pulls away from your mouth and moves slow kisses down your neck. “That’s right doll, take what you need from me. Make yourself feel good.”

You whimper as you roll your hips harder into his. The friction is delicious on your clit.  He moves his right hand to your ass and pushes you into his erection even harder making you moan out his name. “That feel good, doll?” You nod your head and continue grinding your hips against his. It doesn’t take long for you to feel the coil tightening in your belly. You’ve been horny all day. Your breathing picks up and you pull his hair to move his mouth back to yours. He pulls back to look at you, “You gonna come for me, Y/N? Gonna make a mess in your panties?”

You can only nod as you feel the coil winding tighter and tighter. You’re almost there. You just need a little something more to push you over the edge.

Steve moves back to your neck and starts kissing it again. He then bites down where your neck meets your shoulder and that’s what does it. You fall over the edge with a surprised shout. Steve’s name falling from your lips.

He continues grinding into you until you come down from your high.

He removes his head from your neck and smiles down at you. Placing another sweet kiss on your lips. You pull back, “Thanks, Stevie. I’m already starting to feel better.”

He looks at you confused. “Oh, we’re not done yet, doll. I can give you a better orgasm than that. If you’ll let me.” He looks at you, waiting for your answer. Your pussy clenches in anticipation for the possibility of another release.

You smirk at him and push him back and maneuver yourself so you’re resting on top of him, straddling his hips. You pull him in for another kiss, this one more urgent than the last. You take his hands and place them under your sweater. He gets the hint and moves until he’s cupping a breast in each hand and pinching your nipples, eliciting a loud moan from you. He smirks up at you. “Yeah, you like that?” You can only nod. “Oh yeah, they are always extra sensitive around this time.”

He sits up and yanks your sweatshirt off and tosses it away. He attaches his mouth to one nipple and starts sucking. His other hand continuing his pinching on the other.

You roll your hips against his, trying to pull his t-shirt off of him. He pulls back long enough for you to remove the offending article of clothing before attaching his mouth to the other nipple, sucking hard.

You throw your head back and moan, grinding your hips down against his bulge. “Please Steve, I need you.”

He takes his mouth off your breast and stands you both up. He quickly discards his jeans and boxers. You can’t help yourself as your eyes travel down his body. You take in the sight of his cock and you feel a new rush of slick gather in your panties. He was big. Not so big that it would be painful, but still bigger than you’ve ever taken. He must notice your expression. “Something wrong, Y/N? Does my big, thick cock scare you?” He smirks cockily at you.

You step forward and wrap your hand around his impressive size and lean up to whisper in his ear, “Not at all, Captain. I just can’t wait to feel you inside of my tight pussy.” You grin in satisfaction at the shiver that wracks his body.

You decide you’re not waiting anymore and push him with enough force that he lands on the couch. He looks up at you surprised and then smirks when he sees you look him up and down again. He starts stroking his cock slowly, waiting patiently for you.

You snap out of your gaze and quickly remove the rest of your clothes and walk to straddle him. He puts his hand on your stomach to push you away a little. You look at him in confusion. “Do you have any condoms? I don’t keep any on me.” He asks as he looks hopefully at you. You shake your head. “We don’t need one, I’m on the pill. We’re safe.” He nods his head in understanding and wraps his hand around your arm and tugs you forward.

You fall ungraciously on top of him and let out a laugh. You straighten yourself and throw your arms around his neck, leaning down for a kiss, “Someone’s eager.” He chuckles and returns the kiss eagerly. “Sorry doll, it’s just been awhile.”

You pull back and look down at him. “We really don’t have to do this, Steve. I’ve heard you talk about sex before and I know you think it’s special.”

He smiles at you. “It will be special because it’s with you, Y/N.” You can feel the butterflies in your stomach at his words. You nod and move your hand down to wrap around him once more. He hisses at the contact and grabs onto your hips. You move him towards your entrance and run the head of his cock back and forth against your slit, getting him nice and coated with your slick.

Once you decide it’s enough, you slowly start to sink down on him. You moan at the deliciously painful stretch of him filling you up. He throws his head back against the couch and tightens his hold on your hips. You continue slowly sliding down his girth until you are fully seated on him.

You give your body a minute to adjust to his size. You pull him into another kiss and start moving your hips against his. He matches your pace and moves one hand back until he’s gripping your ass. You start moving your hips harder against him, his cock hitting your g-spot in just the right way. He keeps up with your pace as he moves his mouth from yours and attaches it to your nipple again. He bites down and it makes you clench around him. He groans and pulls back to look at you. “That’s right, doll. Take what you need from me. Use my cock. You feel so good wrapped around me. So tight and wet.”

You can feel the coil in your belly, threatening to snap at any second. But you don’t want it to. He feels too damn good inside you. He can tell you’re trying to hold back. He can feel you fluttering around his cock. He moves the hand that’s on your ass and moves it to the front and continues his path down until his thumb is circling your clit. “That’s it, doll. Come for me. I wanna watch you fall apart. Wanna feel you come around my cock. Let go, Y/N. I’m right behind you.”

You speed up your hips a little more and tug your fingers through his hair as you feel the coil snap. The most intense orgasm you’ve ever had wracks through your body, making you shake. Steve’s name falling like a prayer from your lips.

He wraps his arms around you and continues thrusting into you as best he can with how hard your pussy is squeezing his cock. Trying to prolong your pleasure as he seeks out his.

It only takes him a couple more thrusts before he releases himself inside of you, coating your walls with his seed. You moan at the feeling and pull him into another kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. You need him close to you. He must feel the same way because he moves you both onto your sides and hugs you against him, still inside of you, his face pressed into the crook of your neck.

You feel so warm and content. A happy sigh escapes your lips. Steve chuckles, “You feeling better, Y/N?” You nod, running your fingers down his back. You don’t even feel the cramps anymore. “Oh, yes. Thank you so much, Steve.” He pulls back and plants another sweet kiss on your lips. “I really hope this isn’t just a one time thing, Y/N. I know we are doing this backwards but I’d really like to take you out to dinner and see if this goes anywhere?” He asks looking into your eyes. His are full of hope and fear. Not that you’d want to, but how could you say no to that face?

You smile wide and pull him in for another kiss, “I would love nothing more than that, Steve. But I’m super tired now. Can we take a nap and then go to dinner?” You stick your bottom lip out earning you a chuckle from him. “Of course we can, sweetheart. But I don’t  plan on moving from inside you, you’re too warm. Is that ok?” You nod and grab the blanket from the back of your couch and drape it over the both of you. “Yes, please don’t go. I’ve got you right where I want you.”

He smiles and tucks his face back into the crook of your neck, moving his hands up and down your back. You close your eyes and fall into the most blissful sleep you’ve had in ages.

[drabbles-mc]

Protective Detail (1/?)

Nestor Oceteva x Reader

Shout-out to @masterlistforimagines ​ for encouraging me, and helping me brainstorm to write this fic based on This Post from @my-rosegold-soul ​ 😂👀😍 

Warnings: language, mentions of kidnapping, bruises

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: This is my first time writing for Nestor, so hopefully I do alright with that lol.  This is gonna be a multi-chap fic. So like??? Semi-slow burn in that regard. Stay tuned 👀👀 Also, Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate. This year I'm thankful for Gino's braids 😂

Chapter Index

Taglist?? I’ve never written for Nestor so I don’t really have a list lol. But if you wanna get tagged in future chapters of this fic totally comment or message me or something and I’ll make sure it happens.

You huffed, rolling your eyes, “I don’t need a fucking babysitter, Papi,” you were standing on the opposite side of the table from your father, who was not looking amused at all with the attitude you were giving him.

“And I told you that you don’t get to make that call, mija,” his tone was level but you could see it in his eyes that he was not going to let you win this argument.

“You don’t need to do this,” you leaned forward onto the table, palms flat, “I’m fine.”

He eyed the bruise on your cheek, knowing that that was the only one he could see, but it was far from the only mark on you. It had been just short of a week since a group of men had tried to kidnap you. It came with the territory of being the daughter of a cartel leader, but it had never really hit that close to home before. Your father was shaken up, and understandably so. But every time he had brought up either getting you out of town for a little while, or setting you up with your own personal security, you forcefully shot down the idea.

“What was the point of teaching me how to defend myself if you’re just going to pack me up and ship me off the second things get a little rough?”

He raised one eyebrow, “A little rough? Mija, they tried to kidnap you.”

“And they failed.”

“I don’t want to push our luck. Why is that such a problem for you?”

“Because I’m too old to have a babysitter. And I sure as hell don’t want to owe any favors to Miguel fucking Galindo,” you rolled your eyes at the mere thought of it.

Your father sighed, knowing that you didn’t have much use for his business counterpart. He had never done or said anything directly to you to make you dislike him so much, but whatever vibe he put off in your direction wasn’t one that you liked, and you had never been good at pretending to like people if you didn’t. You could suck it up just enough to be civil, but nothing more. The fact that he would be the one supplying your security didn’t sit right with you.

“Why can’t one of your guys just stake out my house or something?” you tried to meet him halfway.

“They’re all busy dealing with everything that led to you getting kidnapped.”

“Almost,” you corrected.

He sighed, “Almost kidnapped. I know you aren’t happy about it, but my mind is made up. Besides, he said that he’s sending one of his best men.”

“If he’s one of the best why doesn’t Miguel want to keep him?” you finally collapsed in the chair across from your father, putting you both on the same level.

Your father smirked slightly, “Because he owes me a favor.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. You appreciated that as you got older, your father was more honest with you about everything within reason. It helped both of you for you not to be completely in the dark. For a long time, he worried it was going to make you more worried, but if anything, you appreciated knowing what kinds of things you were up against. You hated feeling unprepared more than anything else in the world.

“So, who is this mysterious, top-of-the-line babysitter that you have found for me?” you finally asked, conceding to what your father wanted.

Your father laughed and shook his head for a moment before calling out, “Nestor, come in here please.”

You turned your body in your chair so you could get a better look at the door. The door opened slowly and you couldn’t help but to raise your eyebrows as you took in the sight of the man who had just entered the room. You mentally went back through the few memories you had of Miguel and you realized that you had definitely seen this man before. He was never far if the Galindos were around. You’d never heard him speak, though—he had always been a silent presence. You definitely weren’t expecting him to be the person who got loaned out to you for the foreseeable future.

“I don’t think you two have ever officially met,” your father waved him over, “Nestor, this is my daughter, Y/N. Y/N, this is Nestor. He’s going to be keeping you safe for a while.”

You politely shook Nestor’s hand, understanding that this situation wasn’t his doing. You gave your father a pointed look, “I keep myself safe.”

He sighed, knowing that you got your stubbornness from him, “He’s going to help you, then.”

You could tell that Nestor was trying not to smile watching the two of you interact. He kept a fairly straight face but his eyebrows raised slightly as he took in how blunt you were with a man that he had grown to respect, and also fear.

“Do I at least get to stay in my own house?” you looked at your father.

He nodded, “Unless something else happens that makes that a bad idea, yes, you can stay in your house.”

“Thank you,” you nodded as you stood up out of your seat. You walked around the table and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, “Te quiero, Papi. I’ll talk to you later.”

He smiled, “Te quiero. Be safe.”

You laughed as you followed Nestor to the door, “How could I not at this point?” you nodded in Nestor’s direction.

The two of you exited your father’s house. Your face took on a confused expression as you looked for your car. It had been parked right outside your father’s front door and now it was nowhere to be found. You looked over at Nestor.

“Is my car being gone your doing?”

He shook his head, “Your father’s. He asked me to drive you so he had some of his men take the car back to your house.”

You sighed but didn’t say anything more as the two of you walked over to Nestor’s SUV. Granted, his car was much nicer than yours but that wasn’t the point. You wanted this to intrude on your life as little as possible and having him driving you around everywhere in his big flashy car wasn’t exactly in any of your plans.

Most of the drive passed in silence. You wanted to reach and turn the radio on but something in you said that Nestor wasn’t the kind of man who would be caught singing on the job. You looked out the window as you settled back into your seat more, fighting the urge to put your feet up on the dashboard.

“So, what’d you do to piss of Miguel and get put on babysitting duty?” you finally asked.

You looked over and saw his body tense up, “I’m not your babysitter.”

You chuckled, “Would you prefer that I tell people you’re my bodyguard?”

He took his eyes off the road for a moment so he could look over at you, “You don’t have to tell people anything about me.”

The sternness in his tone made you feel small and it caught you a little off-guard. It was going to be interesting to have him be a constant pair of eyes on you. You didn’t know how to feel about having someone who was essentially a stranger being stuck to you like glue.

Silence took over the car again and it stayed that way until he pulled into your driveway. You hopped out of the car, not bothering to wait for him to come and open the door for you. You caught a quick glimpse of his expression and there was the smallest of smiles on his lips for a moment before he went back to his stoic expression.

“I have no idea how this is supposed to work, Nestor,” you admitted honestly as you unlocked the front door, “Are you, like, living here with me now?”

He shrugged, “Would you prefer that?”

You swallowed hard as you crossed the threshold of your home. The impulsive hormonal part of your brain was screaming that you would most definitely prefer that. But you tried very hard not to let that part of you win out.

“I wouldn’t be sleeping in your bed with you, don’t worry,” he offered up with a chuckle.

You felt your face get hot and you tried to play it off, “I figured as much. Besides,” you smirked, “my dad would slaughter you.”

“I don’t doubt that at all.”

“I mean,” you awkwardly stood in your living room, feeling like you should be offering him something, “I have a guest room if you’d want to stay here. Not like it’s getting much use otherwise. Makes more sense than you constantly going back and forth.”

He nodded, not really giving off much emotion either way, “That’s fine. I can have someone bring some of my things by.”

You were about to tell him that he might as well go and pick his things up himself, but leaving you alone on day one would not look good for the whole “personal security” thing. Instead, you offered to give him a quick tour of the house. If he was going to have to protect you, he might as well know where everything was.

“You can hang out here while you’re waiting for your stuff,” you gestured to the living room, “I have every streaming service under the sun,” you grabbed two beers out of the fridge, “You allowed to drink on the job?”

He shook his head as he sat down on the couch, “I am, but I’m good. Thank you.”

You shrugged, tossing one bottle back into the fridge before opening one for yourself. You sat down on the opposite end of the couch from him and waited. You wanted him to choose something to watch, solely so you could try to figure out more of what kind of person you were dealing with. He picked up that you had started a game of chicken, and with a heavy sigh he reached forward and picked up your controller.

“You actually game with this or do you just use it to watch stuff?” he asked as he scrolled through your apps.

You laughed, “Not gaming like you’re thinking.”

The two of you were a few episodes deep into Community when Nestor’s phone started ringing. He looked down and stood up, heading towards the door without bothering to answer the call. When he came back inside, he had a bag in each hand and walked past you to the guest room without a word. You sat on the couch, fidgeting slightly with your hands. All you could think about was the fact that you had no idea how this was supposed to work. It wasn’t like the two of you were friends and he was going to be crashing with you for a while. You knew nothing about him and now he was living at your house. You had no idea how to have a full conversation with him, which was rare. You didn’t know what it was about him that made all of your words get caught in your throat.

A few minutes later he came back out and sat down on the couch again. Silence filled the space between you outside the noise from the television. You glanced down at the time on your phone and right as you did, your stomach growled.

“So, do you eat?” you asked.

He looked over at you, one eyebrow raised, “I’m only allowed one meal a week.”

You laughed, face heating up over the entire interaction, “Am I allowed to order off Grubhub? Or is that a security no-no?”

“If you want to order something we can go pick it up,” it was his nice way of saying that delivery wasn’t an option for the time being.

“The whole point of ordering in, is not having to leave the house. Aren’t I safer if I’m here anyway?”

“And having strangers come here all the time?”

“Why don’t you just tell me all the things I can and can’t do?” you rolled your eyes.

“It’s not my decision,” he was firm, but his voice didn’t get loud, “It’s your father’s. I get you don’t like this but there’s no getting out of it now.”

“I’m sorry,” you offered up honestly, “I’m just…not used to being on a leash.”

He chuckled, “I see that.”

You stood up with a sigh and made your way over to the kitchen, “I’ll pull something together.”

“You really don’t want to leave the house that much?” you could hear the amusement in his voice.

“I really don’t,” you perused your cabinets, not making eye contact as you asked him, “Which reminds me, can we use my car when we leave here from now on? I feel like it’s a little more discreet.”

He sighed, “Let me guess, you want to drive?”

That made you look over at him, “Would you let me?”

“I’ll answer that more definitively after I survive one ride with you behind the wheel.”

Throughout the evening you could feel that both of you were trying to figure each other out. Nestor seemed like he was a very tightly closed book, though. You couldn’t get much of a read on him and you weren’t sure how you felt about it. You felt like he had caught you a few too many times just staring at him, trying to pull information out of his brain just by looking at him.

After you put all of the dishes in the sink, you went and took a shower and changed into a baggy t-shirt and shorts to go to bed in. You said goodnight to Nestor, who was still on the couch, scrolling on his phone. You said to let you know if you had any questions or anything but other than that you would see him in the morning. You felt weird just leaving him out in the living room like that, but you supposed that that was what he was there to do.

You woke up in the middle of the night, dying for a piece of chocolate and a glass of water. You quietly opened your door and tip-toed down the hall to get to your kitchen. You knew your house like the back of your hand so there was no need to turn the lights on and risk waking Nestor up. You were rooting through your cabinets when you heard the unmistakable click of a gun.

Instinctively, you turn around and pushed the person’s arms hard, attempting to knock the gun out of the person’s hand but at the very least have it not pointed at you anymore. You were centimeters away from kicking in their kneecap when you heard Nestor’s voice through the silence.

“It’s me,” he sounded exhausted but he was still alert enough to not let you try to beat him up.

“Jesus Christ,” you sighed as you reached over and flipped the light on, “What the fuck?”

“Why are you shuffling around in the dark?” he put the safety back on his gun and set it down before reaching and wiping his face, attempting to wake up a little more, “I thought someone broke in.”

“I was trying not to wake you up.”

“You didn’t succeed,” he leaned against the counter.

“I see that,” you returned your attention to the cupboard and pulled out two small wrapped candy, “Chocolate?” you offered him a piece.

He huffed but he still took it from you and ate it. You chuckled to yourself as you lifted yourself up to sit on the countertop. While you were sitting you leaned over and filled a cup with water, taking a long drink from it before returning your attention to Nestor. You stared at him for a moment, realizing that this was the first time you had ever seen him in anything besides the nice clothes that he wore for work. He was in a baggy, white long-sleeve shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. You had a feeling that that image was going to be burned into your mind forever, but you shook your head to dispel the thoughts.

“From now on I will make as much obvious noise as possible when I get up in the middle of the night.”

He chuckled, shaking his head, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You smiled, lightly swinging your legs back and forth, “Goodnight.”

You watched him disappear down the hall before returning your attention to the kitchen. You hopped down off the counter and noticed that all of the dishes that had been in the sink were washed and sitting in the drying board. You smiled to yourself as you looked at the spot where Nestor had just been.

[scripts4dreamers]

I literally JUST sat down, pt. 1

Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven

AN: Nuh uh, nope. Not this again. You did not sign up for this.  Characters: Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia, Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, Jennifer Jareau, David Rossi. Pairings: Spencer Reid x reader Spoilers: None Warnings: Mentions of crime and violence, alcohol, eventual NSFW content

Prompt: After watching 7x07 “This episode is so scary man... Imagine just doing your job which is pretty morbid at times but oh well and then suddenly you have to go to this place where there's a lot of tornadoes and you're like well at least I'm inside and safe and then your boss is like "we gotta go right to these tornado places lol" and then you think "well that's scary but at least we have this handy dandy live map showing us exactly in real time where the tornadoes are so we'll be fine and then the internet is like "haha nope have fun dying in a tornado" 

- @pirateismywayofspeaking​ who is a literal genius.

This will be a multichapter piece! So lemme know if you want to be tagged in subsequent chapters. 

—————————-

Usually, when terrible things happen, people say the same few things: “I never thought it would happen to me! You never think something like this will happen to you until it does!”. You’d never really been that type of person. You were naturally cautious, and an ex FBI agent, you saw danger pretty much everywhere. You’d seen some of the worst things human beings could ever do to one another and, if you’d learned anything at all, it was that bad things happened everywhere and to pretty much everyone. There was nowhere that you could definitively say was safe from violent crime, but this was just ridiculous.

You looked around the ruined bookshop you’d poured the last year of your life into with a kind of detached sadness. Even before you opened the door, you could see the carnage. The shelves were upended, tables flipped, every vase in the building was smashed...except one. You sighed, stepping into the store, your eyes scanning the wreck with a practiced efficiency. No broken windows, the door was still locked when you’d arrived and your security cameras were blacked out, there were no signs of forced entry. If anything that made you more uneasy and, not for the first time since you’d left the bureau, you missed the weight of your gun against your hip. You crinkled your nose against the smell, the copper-iron of fresh blood that you were all too familiar with as you crept through your store.

“Son of a-fuck!” You swore loudly, cursing your luck as you took in the scene.

There was a body laid out in the middle of the Fiction aisle: face covered with a burlap sack, wrists and ankles bound with rope and blood seeping into the carpets you’d just had cleaned. Your training kicked in and you noticed, without meaning to, that the rest of the aisle was untouched. The shelves were upright, books in order, even the vase of white roses you’d put there the night before were all completely the way you’d left them. It was like he’d just completely bypassed the entire section.

Huh.

You looked up at the sky, “Really? Right now? You throw this at me, now? Unbelievable.”

There was a sinking feeling in the pit of your chest, along with a nervousness that you were telling yourself was irritation as you pulled out your phone. It had been a long while since you’d done this, but you still knew the number by heart.

“This is agent Jareau with the Behavioural Analysis Unit.”

“JJ, it’s me,” you said, “you’re not gonna believe this.”

——————————

You sat in the ruins of your store until the cops arrived, wondering who exactly you had murdered in a past life to end up with this kind of luck. You gave your statement without much incident, directing CSU to the body and alerting the detective to the abnormalities you’d spotted.

JJ had promised to get the team on the case as quickly as she could, and you knew JJ tended to get exactly what she wanted in that regard, you just didn’t know how you felt about that. It had been over a year since you’d left the BAU, since you’d done one case too many and just got fed all the way up. It really wasn’t any deeper than that. One day you’d come home and found that you couldn’t sleep. It had all just become too much, so you packed up your stuff, tendered your resignation, and started over.

It had been hard at first, but now you owned a fairly successful bookstore with a little coffee shop where you sold good coffee, and homemade biscuits. And it was nice. You felt good, kinda. You definitely slept better at night. Your life was finally starting to feel normal and now this? A dead body just happens to appear in the center of your bookstore in just weird enough a way to warrant a call to the BAU? No, you’d seen too much to consider this a coincidence. Whether you liked it or not, you were about to get thrown back into your old life head first, the life you’d worked so hard to get some distance from. So why weren’t you more...upset?

“Y/L/N?” A familiar voice called.

“In here,” you answered, your voice raspy from disuse. You cleared your throat and pushed yourself up onto your feet, “I’m in here.” You tried again.

The figures who stepped in were painfully familiar and you couldn’t help the tired smile that slid onto your face, your eyes going directly to the blonde woman walking at the very front.

“Y/N!” She greeted, her voice dripping with relief as she pulled you into a hug, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, JJ,” you assured her as you broke apart, the rest of your old team filing in behind her.

She eyed you like she wasn’t sure, pressing her lips into a thin line as she looked around the trashed store. Derek Morgan swooped in behind her, giving you a second hug.

“Long time, Y/L/N,” he smiled.

You sighed, “Wish it was under better circumstances, Morgs, but I’m glad you guys are here.”

“Y/L/N,” Aaron Hotchner greeted, giving you a firm handshake.

“Thanks for coming, Hotch, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.” You admitted.

“No, you made the right call. The BAU has officially taken on the case. Reid, Prentiss and Rossi are coordinating with the local PD from our headquarters, the rest of us are here to help,” he said, pausing and meeting your eye, silently asking the question you’d been waiting all morning for.

“No sign of forced entry,” you started, “the front door was still locked from the outside when I arrived.” You walked him through the crime scene, glass crunching beneath your feet as you went, “It looks like someone sprayed black paint over the security cameras I had installed, everything’s been smashed but there’s no cash missing from the register. In fact, they barely touched the front desk at all.” You explained, “And this,” you gestured at the Fiction aisle, “is where I found the body.”

Morgan stepped forward and, just like that, the team moved like a well oiled machine.

“White male, looks like he’s between the ages of 19 and 27.” Morgan started.

“His wrists and ankles are bound, but it doesn’t look like he struggled against his restraints at all,” you cut in, without meaning to, crouching down beside the body, “it could mean he was tied up postmortem.”

“We’ll have to wait on the M.E’s report to know for sure,” Hotch agreed, “Y/L/N, can I talk to you?” You nodded and let him pull you aside. He glanced over your shoulder and lowered his voice, “I know you’re out and we can do this investigation without you-“

“But?” You probed.

The corners of Hotch’s mouth twitched, like he wanted to smile, “But, I would also welcome your help if you’re willing to give it. The team is still a man down and, something about this scene has me thinking-“

“That whoever did this isn’t finished,” you agreed, sighing as you ran your fingers through your hair.

Everything was so messed up in your head. You just wanted to go back to bed and start this day all over again. Hotch looked at you and you recognized his brand of quiet concern. It was familiar and comforting, and it helped you process your thoughts.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” you frowned, “yeah. Yeah, sure, I’ll come back.” Hotch smiled and you wagged a finger at him, “But just for this one case! After that I’m straight back to my boring normal person life, alright?”

“Of course,” he agreed, something almost mocking in his tone.

“I’m serious, Hotch, just one more case.”

“I’m agreeing with you!” He insisted, already walking back to the rest of the group.

But he wasn’t and, much to your chagrin, you felt the familiar rush of adrenaline as you turned back to the scene of the crime.

“Hotch, Y/L/N,” Morgan called, holding something in his gloved hand, “you’re gonna want to see this.”

“Here we go again,” you sighed.

————————-

Walking back into the BAU had felt like stepping back in time. After you’d gotten everything you could from the crime scene there was nothing to do but brainstorm, but walking through those doors again...well, let’s say you hadn’t been prepared for how it would feel being back. For the most part, everyone had been glad to see you, especially Garcia, but you could tell that there were still some resentments bubbling under the surface. It made sense, the BAU survived by relying on one another, by acting like a family, and you’d left that family.

Still, there was a rhythm to this kind of work, a flow that was almost painfully easy to fall back into. You’d worked together for years after all, bouncing ideas off of one another like it was nothing and that kind of bond didn’t just go away.

“Admit it,” Derek teased, bumping your shoulder with his as you studied the evidence board, “you missed this.”

“I most certainly did not.”

“Oh you so did,” Spencer agreed, leaning against the table next to you and giving you a fond smile, “I’m sorry about the bookstore though, it was the only store in town with a proper selection of classics in their original languages.”

You shrugged, “I’ll get it up and running again soon enough, just as soon as we catch whoever did this.”

“Speaking of our UnSub, what do you think the relevance of him leaving the body in the fiction section is?” Spencer asked.

“Maybe he’s trying to say that this is some kind of fairytale?” Prentiss suggested, “Like he’s trying to draw us into his story?”

“Maybe, but this has gotta be more personal than that, right?” Morgan said, “I mean, this isn’t some body in an alley, it was dumped in an FBI agent’s coffee shop.”

“Ex agent,” you corrected.

“Sure thing, Princess,” Morgan teased.

“Why does everyone keep talking like that?” You asked.

“Because you leaving is ridiculous. You love this job,” He replied simply, “you’ve always loved this job.”

You opened your mouth to respond but, before you could, you heard the clacking of heels against the marble floor.

“Um, guys?” Garcia said, coming into the bullpen with a stormy look on her face, “we just got word from the officer who went to Y/N’s apartment.”

“And?” You asked nervously.

“They found something,”

“Another body?” Prentiss asked.

“No, weirder, a letter and what looks like a smiley face drawn on the wall in blood.” She said, pressing a button to display the new crime scene photos on the big screen.

Your heart froze in your chest.

There it was; a crude smiley face drawn right above your headboard and a crisp white envelope resting against your pillow. He’d made your bed too, some small part of your mind noted. How polite. Instinctively, you crossed your arms over your chest as you were hit with a mixture of panic and disgust.

“Of course,” you sighed, “of course there is. Why wouldn’t there be? It’s been that kind of day.”

“Do we know what the letter says?” Morgan asked.

Garcia nodded, “And it’s a doozy. The letter contains a poem written with letters cut out from magazines and newspapers. It reads:

Since there’s no help, come let us kiss and part.

Nay, I have done, you get no more of me;

And I am glad, yea glad with all my heart,

That thus so cleanly I myself can free.

Shake hands for ever, cancel all our vows,

And when we meet at any time again,

Be it not seen in either of our brows

That we one jot of former love retain …”

You could feel your friends staring and you tried to keep your face as neutral as possible. Your skin felt like it was on fire, and you could hear the blood pounding in your ears as you thought of a murderer setting foot in your space; him touching your bed, running his hands over the photos on your nightstand, defiling your possessions with his presence. You’d never felt so vulnerable and exposed, and bile rose up in your stomach like your body was physically rejecting the whole thing. Distantly you heard Prentiss and Morgan discussing theories, and you felt one pair of warm brown eyes staring into the side of your head.

Suddenly, you didn’t feel like joking around anymore.

“Sorry,” you muttered, standing up and striding out of the room without looking back, “I need some air.”

You were so angry by the time you made it out into the courtyard that you’d balled your hands into fists and your breath was coming out in short little bursts. Hot tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and your chest felt painfully tight.

“Y/N?” You heard Spencer ask.

You sniffed, wiping your face quickly, “Reid, hi. Sorry, I just-“ you let out a slow breath, “I needed a break.”

He nodded like he understood, tucking his hands into his pockets as he stepped towards you. You wanted to tell him to go away, to head back inside and leave you the hell alone, but the words wouldn’t come.

It had always been like this with Spencer. No matter how hard you tried to be tough and brave and put together, he saw right through you and broke down your defenses. At one point, he’d been the closest thing to family you’d ever had, in fact you thought you might…..

Well, it didn’t matter now. Over the last year things had changed, you’d grown apart. It happened, but the fondness was still there, and the trust, and those damn eyes.

“I get it, Y/N, I can't even imagine what this whole thing must be like for you,” he said, “having your home be violated like that….and the store?” He shook his head, “I know how hard you worked setting that place up.”

Your bottom lip trembled and, for the first time that day, you let yourself feel afraid as tears slipped down your cheeks.

You shook your head, “You know, when I saw the glass all over the floor, and all the books….I just felt tired, like bone tired. I wasn’t scared of that, but now?” You paused, glancing up at Spencer, as a tear slid down your cheek, “He was in my home, Spencer. He made my bed before he left, he wrote me a letter.”

Spencer worked his jaw and hesitantly reached out, touching your shoulder gently.

“We’ll catch him, Y/N/N, we always do.” He promised.

“And until then?” You asked, “Do I just pretend it never happened? Go home and act like it’s all okay?”

“No,” another voice cut in from behind you, “you rely on us. We’ll take care of you,” Morgan explained.

“Yeah,” Garcia agreed, her big blue eyes clinging to yours, “We’ve talked about it already. You’ll take turns staying with each of us a few nights a week and then, on the weekends, we’ll all stay with Rossi to go over the case. And we’ll spend every free moment tracking this son of a bitch down for you.”

Emily nodded and, for the first time since you had opened your store that morning, you felt your chest swell with something a little like hope. You knew the BAU was special, you knew that the bonds you’d formed over the years were damn near unbreakable, but this? This was too much. Seeing your friends rally around you when you needed them most just reminded you how much you loved them, and how much they still loved you. Even now. Spencer gave your shoulder a squeeze and you smiled back at him.

“I really missed you guys,” you said with a watery laugh.

Penelope crooned and threw her arms around your neck, pulling you into a familiarly bone-crushing hug.

“We missed you too, Sugar Plum,” she promised.

“Really?”

“Hell yeah!” Morgan smiled, joining Penelope’s hug.

“You know we did,” Emily agreed, ruffling your hair and pulling herself in close.

Your eyes found Spencer where he was standing just outside of the group hug, both hands in his pockets and a sad smile on his face. You pressed your lips together and, in response, he nodded.

“We missed you,” he said softly and then, as the hug broke up and you allude your way back inside, even softer, “we still do.”

---------------- 

Taglist: @ourfavoritesergeantbarnes​

[teamsarawatshusband]

Word Of Honor - 1st watch insta thoughts - Episode 3

Episode 1

Episode 2

This one took longer, because there was so much talking. Sorry.

Episode 3:

Ok, in the dusty place, people are finally eating. Except for Zhou Xu lord guy who prefers alcohol.

Smirky Ke Xing guy is such a brat. Why is he such a tease???

Oooh, now he's trying to cop a feel, and Zhou Xu lord guy isn't having it. The official explanation is that he wants to see if lord guy is disguised, but neither me nor purple girl are buying it. I saw that smile.

Oh, the guys are flirting. So obvious. Tsk. Very clearly Smirky Ke Xing is enjoying it. While Zhou Xu Lord is annoyed, but he can't help participate. LOL

Ah, yes, why did the red ghost guys attack the kid's family? Good question to ask. We know they were looking for the glazed armor stuff, but the gang doesn't know that yet. Or does Smirky Ke Xing know more than he lets on?

Oh, the ghosts don't stand for a group of ghosts but for a demon? Rong. I had no idea demons had last names. Huh. Wait, what? the glazed armor is not actually armor? It's martial arts techniques?

Zhou Xu lord says it's stupid to believe it, but I don't trust him. He's not honest to Smirky Ke Xing, so he might know more than he lets on. Hmm, he blames greed. And Smirky Ke Xing does his fake laugh. Why is there so much beating around the bush?

Oh, they're cleaning up the potato smiley mess at the burnt down kid's home.

And some guy walks on water. 5 Lakes leader. Ah. Okay. He looks pissed.

Ah he's the boss of the pleated skirt soldier guys. Why is he late to the party while everybody else is already there?

Oh. the kid's dad and his brothers are really dead. At least if we trust pleated skirt soldier guy. Who doesn't wanna show the bodies, because they look bad. Soldier boss guy is even more pissy now. He's so vengeful. What's wrong with him?

Oh, old people. They have cool pastel clothes. And walking sticks. I like them. Although they look super pissed as well. And the woman clearly has some beef with the soldier boss guy. I like how the subtitles call them grandma something and grandpa something.

Grandma is calling out soldier boss guy's fake outrage. I like her. She doesn't take shit from anybody.

Whoa, did soldier boss guy just threaten the grandparents? WTF? Where is your respect, dude???

Ah, somebody intervenes. Thankfully. He's a... beggar? With a beggar gang? Ok, cool. And everybody seems to respect him. Alright, I'll go with that. Cause he seems nice.

Back in the dusty place, smirky Ke Xing is still staring at meditating Zhou Xu Lord. He's so into him, lol.

Zhou Xu lord guy wants to leave. Smirky Ke Xing says that fate will reunite them. I bet fate is his middle name. He invites Zhou Xu lord to his boat once again. Boat is probably a euphemism for lap or something.

Zhou Xu lord guy isn't into giving lap dances, it seems.

And purple girl doesn't understand why Smirky Ke Xing is so into him. So he gushes about how hot lord guy looks, lol. He's got a thing for shoulder blades. And points out that he is very aware of Zhou Xu lord guy being a MAN. Like we hadn't noticed.

And now he's admiringly smirking about how flexible lord guy's sword is. Riiiiiiight. Ke xing is officially the No1 smirklord shipper.

Back at the kid's place... there's lethal spider web strings that can cut through anything. Hmm. So, now they know it's the red ghost people guys.

What does grandma mean with "These things caused the two of us to become the way we are today"??? What are they now? And what did they use to be like before?

Soldier boss guy declares that he's going to end the ghost guys and sounds super conceited, tbh. Ah, grandma calls him out on it again. I like her.

Grandpa mentions that the ghost guys knock on the door of people who have done evil. So... does that mean that the kid's family has done evil? And soldier boss guy should be afraid, so has he done evil too? I'm so confused.

There seems to be a LOT of talking in this episode. I'm only 20 minutes in and already overwhelmed.

Okay, beggar guy wants to help soldier boss guy to find the kid.

LOL, how did smirky Ke Xing get ahead of Zhou Xu lord guy and the kid?

TWICE. lol. He is so desperate to get the smirklord ship to sail.

Ok, so beggar guy is talking to the grandparents and they are dropping so many names, I have no idea what's going on. What I gather so far is that the grandparents really have beef with 5 lakes, a.k.a. soldier boss guy's people. Because they somehow benefited from other people dying in the past. Not sure how. And then there were different sects and their disciples. No idea what they were called. But beggar guy and the grandparents are going to find some guy who might have another piece of glazed armor (another martial arts technique then?) before the ghost guys can get to it.

K, now Zhou Xu lord guy and the kid have reached some city and wanna stay at some inn, but some rich guy has rented the entire place. Must be Smirky Ke Xing. I mean, who else would?

LOL, of course it is. And ZhouXu lord guy is sooooo annoyed. But he can't hide a smile when smirky Ke Xing lets it slip that he finds him beautiful, lol. Is smirky Ke Xing wearing him down?

And now Ke Xing gets the door shut in his face. That must be annoying, lol. But he deserved that tbh. Dude, how desperate are you to stay in the same room with your crush??? Get a grip and stop being so obvious. This is so embarrassing...

I really like how respectful Zhou Xu is around the kid. Allowing him to use the bed, allowing him to get dressed without being watched. Allowing him to take care of his wound without showing it to anybody. Very much not predatory. He's a good boy. (despite his death count)

Eww, the kid's wound is bleeding a lot. That does not look good.

K, where exactly did Zhou Xu lord guy get changed? In the hallway? On the stairs?

He wonders why smirky Ke Xing keeps following him. Is it not obvious? He's got the hots for you, man.

Okay, now they're having a discussion about showing their true faces. So... Smirky Ke Xing is assumed to be hiding some truth as well. I wonder what it is. He says his true face my not be appealing but terrifying.

Now they're dancing with their tea cups. Wth kinda porn is this???

Wow, smirky Ke Xing is sooooo cheesy in his flirting. Once again using purple girl to give compliments to his crush.

K, the beggar gang is out there to find the kid. i see.

And the kid has finally got some sleep and cleaned up nicely. Zhou Xu guy on the other hand, apparently NEVER sleeps, just meditates while being stared at by smirky Ke Xing.

K, once again Smirky Ke Xing told purple girl to behave and compared her to other girls. Which... I get it, but... last time he told her she wouldn't get married, which is bullshit. I'd marry her in a heartbeat. I should start calling her something other than purple girl, because we're gonna be spouses. :D

The beggars are spotting the kid, ooooh.

And, once again he's not eating. I mean, i get it, his entire family got murdered. I wouldn't be hungry either.  But my love gives him an earful, she's really good at guilt tripping people it seems. And she made the kid cry. Aww...

Okay, now we're at the 5 Lakes palace. Where lots of people are meeting up. And some leader guy is calling for bloodshed. In revenge for the kid's family. They wanna attack the red ghosts guys together. Hmm.

And now there's some older guy standing on a tree. Who is he? I missed the name. But he has nice undies.

He's meeting with another guy who calls him master and they're talking about yet another guy who has a fever. I am so completely lost as to what's going on.

So tree guy is some master of sorts and the other guy is his disciple, and there are more disciples who are dressed the same. And two mini wannabe Lan Wangjis in blue travel robes and headbands.

Aww, they're an endangered species. The last two of their sect. :(

Okay, wait, what? The master guy is saying that Shen... (I think that was that the pleated skirt soldier boss guy's name?) is trying to steal the glazed armor. So, 5 lakes are trying to steal the glazed armor? I thought the red masked ghost guys are? This is so confusing.

Oh, Zhou Xu lord guy is back to doing his smelly veiny meditation thing. It looks like worms crawling under his skin. So disgusting.

Oh no. the red masked guys are back. And after the kid, who's having nightmares.

Wait, who knocked out the masked guys?

Ah, smirky Ke Xing. Presenting them to Zhou Xu lord guy. He's like a cat showing off the dead mice of his hunt to his owner. Cute.

And he brought alcohol. In return for first name basis, lol.

Zhou Xu is declining the offer and pushing Ke Xing's arm away. Maybe Smirky Ke Xing was just after the touch, though, and Zhou Xu fell for it. Ke Xing's voice sure sounds seductive when he talks about what lies underneath the skin, lol. Okay, that's it, if Zhou Xu goes for it, I'll give him a new name.

DUDE! He full on snuck in a sneaky caress there!!! AND HE TOOK THE BOOZE.

First name basis it is. His name shall be Baby Xu from here on out. I don't make the rules.

And what's this talk of "rip it off and take a look"??? Woooooooo. Baby Xu is flirting too after all. Ha!

End of episode. Ok, I'm not gonna lie, this was a tough one. Everything except for the last couple minutes was just A LOT of talking, and super hard to keep up with. If I hadn't written down my thoughts while watching, I might not even have caught any of it.

What did I learn (or maybe misunderstand): Both the red ghosts and the 5 Lakes alliance are after the glazed armor. I think that might mean that 5 lakes were only friendly with the kid's family, because they had one armor piece and were thus powerful and a useful ally. I trust beggar guy and the grandparents more than the 5 Lakes guys. Also the tree master guy cause he was nice to the mini Wangjis. I still don't know how Smirky Xing and Baby Xu fit into any of it. Other than they enjoy flirting a lot. Oh, and I learned that the beggars are aware of the Kid’s whereabouts at the moment.

Goals for future episodes: Find out if my assumption about 5 Lakes is correct. Find out more about the red ghosts. Find out where Smirky Xing comes from and how he's connected to Baby Xu.

[samclownchester]

Supernatural Rewatch 04x16

On the Head of a Pin

(Next Episode | Masterlist | Previous Episode)

Hello all, it’s been a couple months but I am picking my rewatch up where I left off! I had half of this typed back in September lol but anyway. Time to finish up season 4

Ok, to start we’re gonna sum up Sam and Dean’s stories in this episode, firstly:

DEAN I'm tired of burying friends, Sam. … I'm just—I'm just getting tired. SAM Well, get angry.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

IT’S AN OPPOSITE PARALLEL TO THAT ONE SAM QUOTE THAT I SEE ALL THE TIME BUT I NEVER SEE THIS ONE

(from 7x17)

DEAN Quit being Dalai frickin' Yoda about this, okay? Get pissed!

SAM I'm too tired.

I just wanted to point that out. …. that Dean was the tired one and Sam was the angry one and then they switched in Season 7 and then never switched back … it’s just interesting.

Now, on to the episode:

For Dean this episode is largely focused on his failures. He failed as a son, he failed to withstand the torture in Hell, he failed to not break the first seal, and now … now that he’s giving in to his darker impulses and throwing aside the moral qualms, giving his all into torturing his torturer – he fails again. And he gets beaten horribly just to prove how much of a failure he is.

DEAN I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not—I'm not strong enough. Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me.

And once again we see the idea that Dean isn’t strong enough, (And this concept came up again in the finale I’m not crying you’re crying shut up) which he mentioned in season 3 but has continued to be a running idea throughout this season, voiced earlier this episode by Sam

SAM He can't do it. RUBY Look, I get it. You don't want him going all torture master again. SAM No. I mean, he can't do it. He can't get the job done. Something happened to him downstairs, Ruby. He's not what he used to be. He's not strong enough. RUBY And you are? SAM I will be.

This episode we do start to see Sam acting … more drastically out of character than ever before this season. The only times he has voiced his feelings about Dean “not being strong enough” have usually been when he is under the influence of something magical. (and now he is long term under the influence of demon blood so it seems like he’s “normal” but he’s actually jacked up)

There is so much happening behind the scenes with Sam right now and I hate it. I think this season is the point where Dean irreversibly became the main character, because the audience gets to see everything he’s doing, but we mostly only know stuff about Sam that Dean knows, with a few exceptions that we get to see only a little before Dean finds out, like in this episode we see him drinking demon blood, but it’s a dramatic reveal of something he’s been doing for a long time. We don’t get to see when he first did it, because the version of the summer we saw was just the stuff Dean was learning. So in this episode, although we do get to learn some stuff that Dean doesn’t know, the big thing we learn is that he’s now strong enough to Kill Demons, not just exorcise them, including demons as powerful as Alastair, which we only learn as Dean learns it.

We also have this interesting parallel between the brothers: The Angels are bringing out Dean’s dark side and the Demons are brining out Sam’s dark side. Despite being on opposite sides they are having the same effect on each brother, driving them further into their anger and violence.

Alright that wasn’t as short as I wanted it to be but now we’re moving on to Cas because Is this … could it be … a Cas centric episode?

Ok, I know all us religious queers project on to Sam but … seriously Cas’s struggle with faith and recognizing the corruption in the system he has dedicated himself to? Like, man, I am having feelings about it. Take this whole scene between him and Anna?

CASTIEL I'm considering disobedience. ANNA Good. CASTIEL No, it isn't. For the first time, I feel... ANNA It gets worse. Choosing your own course of action is confusing, terrifying.

…

CASTIEL I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do. ANNA Like the old days? No. I'm sorry. It's time to think for yourself.

Like … ok not to trivialize this situation but I’ve literally had this conversation with people, on both sides, but the questioning and the one being sought out. You go to someone that you know who has “left the fold” and you voice your concerns … but you’re still scared by the concept of casting aside everything you’ve ever known.

I also want to touch on Anna referencing “the old days” there is seriously such untapped potential in exploring her relationship with Cas. She used to be his “boss”

But, finding out that Uriel is corrupt and fighting and killing him with Anna is not enough to make Castiel ready to totally rebel against heaven.

ANNA The father you love. You think he wants this? You think he'd ask this of you? You think this is righteous? What you're feeling? It's called doubt. …. These orders are wrong and you know it. But you can do the right thing. You're afraid, Cas. I was too. But together, we can still— CASTIEL Together? I am nothing like you. You fell. Go.

This is a very interesting episode for Cas, and I’m kind of glad I waited this long to write about it because now I can officially say that this is where he really started to develop (gay) feelings for Dean. There is a clear parallel between him and Ruby, who all season has been manipulating Sam while also seeing him as her savior. After Dean feels like he failed in every way this episode Cas says to him

CASTIEL I don't know. .. Dean, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you.

He’s learned that a lot of the information he was following and relying on came from a corrupt source, yet he still sees himself as superior to Anna, still believes he must be serving some righteous cause. And although everything else has been called into question, he still believes that Dean is the one who will save them from the apocalypse.

[swearronchanel]

9.06

I’m a day late but I have thoughts

- Fred is truly a gem lol but another garden seems redundant

- Trixie actually working!

- Why did they bring back Val’s really bitchy cousin lol, I’m sure she has others on the block😂

- Also Mcnulty seems eager to come back, nice boy

- Sister Hilda tryna stay positive when she knows the truth, bless her

- Also the heat 2000 feels just as far away when you say it now at days too😂

- Save Nonnatus House 1k65/2k20

- I was always wondering when the Turners would tell Angela she’s adopted. I think it should be soon, she deserves to know & I hope we see it

- Little girls always wanna be the same😭 that’s true, but I hope that they acknowledge the fact that it’s a different situation and Angela won’t ever have the struggle May is about to have

- “Maybe they’ll move and carry on like before” Trixie in tears makes me wanna cry😭 she’s literally already been through this. I wish we saw more moments where she reflects as the only OG midwife left (yea Shelagh is technically too but you already know all the issues)

- Also Trixie looks damn great

- What will midwives the do!? We shall see

- Oh so Val has a dad? Did he pass? Give us more info lol

- I also feel like it’s been spring/summer this whole series lol

- Ok but the suddenly alive lost parent trope is pretty soap-y/melodramatic but go on,

- Shelagh stress smoking is a big ass mood but also stop you have weak lungs sis

- Reggie always have great ideas

- Chugging castor oil uh I rather die 🤢

- She’s going to shit her brains out now

- LMAO YUP

- Sister Hilda and Trixie could be an interesting dynamic, let’s see it

- Fred do not worry you’ll figure it out

- What’s wrong with Sister Frances?

- Where is Ms Higgins from that she just said laboratory like that LMAO?? Or do all brits say it like that? i dont remember

- Can’t wait to see Phyllis back with her cubs

- Fred and Reggie hugging for so long🥺

- Sister MJ is going to make a garden, I love her

- Trixie’s new pyjama’s are so cute

- It’s a boy 🥺

- “I am not alone sister” LMAO omg reminds me of the time my grandma went shopping by herself right after she came out of the hospital and we called her and asked who she was with and she straight up said “con díos” aka god and I died

- Never underestimate Sister Mj tho

- Tim is so grown and yet he’s still just the babysitter is so wack give him a little story

- “I like that we’re complicated” awww

- The photos of May🥺awww

- Give Esther a chance man, I feel so bad. She only asked to meet her before she goes back

- Gtfo how can the agency not provide a translator so that she can understand official documents in her first language? That’s bullshit

- LMAO FRED IS WASTED

- “Only in the line of duty ma’am” 😂

- Oh no poor Sister Frances, cramps are the WORST 😭

- I legit would not be able to move for hours and have thrown up before from period pain. Thank god for birth control

- What’s wrong with baby warren?! Omg noo a heart problem

- Trixie’s fit is great

- The fucking chicken pox caused this omg nooo

- THE BEATLES AT SHEA!! iconic! Remember when Don took Sally on Mad Men

- Omg baby is blind? and only going to live a few weeks? Noo😭 this is heart breaking

- Poor Val and poor Maureen ugh this is so awful

- My niece turned 1 today and baby warren is making me extra emo😢

- Sister MJ with the teddy bear 🥺 she doesn’t even care she got caught for taking the blankets LMAO

- Damn May doesn’t remember her or her language. This is so heartbreaking

- ALSO why were there not subtitles so we could know what she said? 🤔 very questionable... just like how they emphasized earlier her going by a “christian” name now... 

- Esther shouldn’t have gotten loud but they didn’t even give her a chance? That’s not really fair

- I know Patrick is being protective but he’s so defensive that he probably did scare May

- PHYLLIS FAKING CAR TROUBLES TO GET CRYRIL AND LUCILLE TOGETHER I LOVE IT

- Damn that didn’t go well LMAO

- I’m really feeling conflicted here. I know the Turners have the best intentions and want to keep May safe but I feel like they haven’t given Esther enough of a chance before passing judgment. Like how do we not know she’s a completely changed/clean from drugs women?

- like she is working for a family with enough money for international travel so they probably pay well? IDK what to think rn. Maybe I’m giving Esther the benefit of the doubt but no one else really is

- “They made my child afraid of me” that’s so sad to hear

- “Forgetting her language, forgetting that she’s Chinese” !!! THIS, no one is talking about May’s loss of culture & what’s worse is that no one else seems to care. It really upsets me, the show always wants to pride itself on respecting other cultures and being inclusive but I don’t always feel that

- Also what she said about what they’ve done to her people. She ain’t wrong. F**k colonialism and all its evils !!

- Poor Esther 😭 this is so sad. It’s a lose lose situation for her and she just wants her daughter to know her and know that she loves her

- Also I know sister J is sister J but her talking to Esther is a bit biased don’t you think

- NO NO NO Warren passed 😭😭😢

- Damn Patrick has to carry a stack of death certificates 😢

- ANOTHER look from Ms Franklin

- all the girls look great though

- My heart really breaks for Esther man. This is so sad. She’s the victim of circumstances and it sucks to feel like the world is against you

- It’s so awkward bc the Turners are always set up in moments to kiss and then they don’t and just stand or sit there

- Such beautiful flowers

- They developed the film of Baby Warren😭

- Cyril’s FIT ! A fashion KING who loves Lucille. I love it. I love them.

- The nosy nurses of course

- Alright this is an awesome little festival good job Fred and Reggie !!

- Love the dress Trixie. The hat no so much but it’s the 60s so

- A BABY GARDEN OMG HOW PRECIOUS

- SISTER MONICA JOAN WON OK!

- “Flowers take many forms. Each one has its story. Each one unfolds...” 🌼🌸💐🌷🌺🌻🌷

- “Not every garden blooms as we except it... tears take the place of rain when the sunshine fails us...” 😭💖

- This was a beautiful ending to a sad episode wow

[tslasvegas]

Episode 10: “I ain't gettin fooled a third time.” - Jeff

Darn it. That vote hurt. I mean it's a game, and there's only one winner, but Steph and I had a great time the last time we played, and we played well here too. But our Final 2 tag hurt us. I mean, yes, we had that agreement, but it hurt us. I had to vote her, as there was no other way forward. Even if I used my Steal a Vote, it would not have been enough. Good thing Kailyn spoke up after the vote, so they know it was her who voted with Steph and not me. Hopefully that lessens me as a target. How does Ben have so many advantages. He will be out to win immunity next for sure.

I am actually really sad that we voted Stephanie out. I think there were better options but I guess it had to happen. It’s interesting that is spread so rapidly to everyone else in the game. I didn’t speak to really anyone and yet everyone knew what was happening. There’s definitely some connections going on that I’m unaware of. But also! One step closer to making it to single digits! I just have to survive two more tribals and I’m officially a flop no more! With the Super Idol, technically I can be “voted out” once before leaving the game, if Liv still decides to play it on me. So I’m feeling pretty good about my chances moving forward. The meninist group is a solid 5 I think. That’s almost half the tribe remaining. At this point, I really don’t think there’s a path for me to actually win the game. Unless I take control and start some big moves right away. But we will see. 

Okay so it's been a while, and there's a lot to unpack. Merging: In regards to the merge itself, I have very mixed feelings about how the people in the merge are, and how things generally shook out in regards to the tribe divisions. Getting sent in with an instant 7-3-3 should, in normal circumstances, be pretty damning in how an early merge goes. People have a tendency to play safe, lay low, and just ride out the game a little bit before really going for anything. As far as the people we merged with that I had not met yet: Jaiden - Really cool guy, I spend all day talking to him, shooting the shit, just having a good time. Easily top 3 people this season for me. I want to go far with him. Xavier - Kinda neutral on him. I speak to him sometimes, but the conversations do not really have much in the way of depth to him. John - Meh. Doesn't speak a ton, just kind of minding his own business. Kailyn - Doesn't speak to me much at all. We've exchanged a couple of messages, but nothing too substantial. Whatever I guess. Ben - Literally refuses to speak to me. Not sure what his deal is or why he acts the way he does, but whatever I guess. So as a basic assessment, pre F13 tribal, the people I feel best about are Jake, Jaiden, Keegan, and Joey. These are the ones that I should be able to trust, that should be able to get me farther into the game. I feel with this that I'm in a better spot than I was in my previous 2 seasons, because I seem to have alleviated the issue of only having real connections to people on "my side". In Svalbard I was very isolated with Nathan/Rachael/John, and got burnt because the rest didn't want to play with me anymore. In Finland, it felt like more of a dice roll really, but I never got going with Tom/Drew/Bodhi/Zoe, so I was the first to get burnt because my connections just weren't good enough. But now, I should have the means to protect myself on both sides, and make it farther based on that. First tribal comes around, Palazzo has numbers, things should be simple. Ben doesn't talk to people, no one has a problem if he were to get sent home. Easy enough. Andrew makes people a bit wary, but its first tribal, he's not causing any particular harm, and we can deal with that issue later. But then Andrew slips up, he tells Jake that Keegan is the one pushing his name. I'm not sure why he did this, but he did. I confirm with Jake that it was actually Andrew that threw his name out first, but Keegan and I shifted it on to Ben. Whatever, mess is made, but no one says anything, vote should still be Ben. Get to tribal.... Andrew, 9-4. Not one, not two, but three people flip on us at the first tribal, sending Andrew home, and blindsiding myself, Pat, and Stephanie. With this, we're clearly on the outs, and Keegan/Liv/Joey blatantly lied to us. We confront them about it. Get some stories of, "weren't sure how people were feeling, didn't want anything to go wrong with the vote. Andrew was causing problems". Like yeah, okay, I know that that happened, but I had already expressed to both Keegan and Joey that I had strong reservations about how Andrew was approaching the game, and didn't want to have him be in long. I didn't think he's go right away, but clearly I was alright with the idea, yet they let me out. Fool me once, shame on you. Next time, okay votes gonna be simple. No one likes Ben, he doesn't talk to anyone, he just ignores me, he's gonna go home. Fine, everyone's happy. Well of course, we get to tribal, and he plays SWOP. I knew something was up, the way he was acting just wasn't right. Andrew said he was a good player, and I knew something was up when he was just giving up and having needless outbursts. Not the type of play that you'd expect from a "good player". So okay, we go back to OG Palazzo chat. Everyone says "lets vote John". Okay fine. Pat and I get to talking, because we're both close with Jaiden and Jake, and entertain the idea of voting Steph. Figure that we can get ahead of the curve because Palazzo is a mess, set ourselves up for the future. Pat can't change his vote cause he already casted, oops. I vote and play an extra vote because I thought a tie could be risked because I can't count. Vote goes 10-2 on Steph. Yet again, Joey, Keegan, and Liv opted to not say a word about anything to Pat and I. They don't care about us. They expect us to just do what they say, go along with whatever story they tell us before bed, but I ain't havin it anymore. Fool me twice, shame on me. I ain't gettin fooled a third time. These fuckers ain't gonna walk all over us and act like we ain't actual players. If they don't want to work with us, tell us anything, then I don't need them. I'll go with Jaiden and Jake, who are much more fun to talk to anyway, and curbstomp all of them. People already took Rachael from me, I ain't lettin them get any more W's on me. 

Stephanie is gone! I can't believe I made it through that cracked ass tribal council, but I used the limited information Ben was providing to me to my advantage. The moment Ben told me what was going on, I swooped to Keegan and John and told them to prepare for the worst - tbh I thought he was going to have an idol or something and we would need to throw votes elsewhere. I think Keegan was the one who said he thought Ben's got a safety without power from his statements and it made so much sense to me. When it came time to scramble, obviously I didn't wanna be the first person to throw a name out there, but once the opportunity presented itself I tossed Stephanie's name out and it basically caught on like wildfire. I told Joey first, then the Meninist alliance chat. There definitely was some push back at first from Keegan, which I'll get to in a bit, as well as I think Livingston a little bit. Then it just caught on FIRE. Suddenly Stephanie's name was going through everything it felt like and every single person was down for Stephanie. For a minute there was a brief insurgence of John names, but I think me throwing Stephanie's name out first was the best thing to happen because once a name was out there, it basically ignited the power keg and there was no way to stop it. I think it could've gone the other way had John's name gone out first tbh... It is just such a relief to have some sort of affirmation that my targets are going home. I feel a lot stronger now than ever before, almost like allowing Andrew to go over Ben last round is giving me an edge like I've never had before. Tbh as much as I dislike Ben as a player, I do kinda hate this circlejerk kind of group hate for the guy because I don't think he's done anything so bad that it makes him a bad person... maybe not the kind of guy I'd associate with in real life... but I'm sure he's chill outside of this. I also don't wanna come across like on this moral high ground where I'm better than anybody because I definitely talk a lot of shit about everyone else, but as somebody who was in the same shoes as him once, I can empathize with how it feels right now. I can empathize because when I played Tumblr Survivor starting out I definitely was really messy for the fun of it and it slowly started to become un-fun when everyone made it their mission to kinda be shitty to me. I don't know what Ben's goal is here and I'm not a specialist trying to diagnose him, but... yeah. I just feel bad that he's being dogpiled by all of us with hateful attitudes is all. ANYWAYS, back to something that matters - me! I finally survived the dreaded second tribal council of the merge. I've already beaten that part from India, now I just need to make it past the next two votes and I've made it to my first goal - single digits!! I know that I'm competing with a lot of people for single digits right now lol but I hope that people wise up and start taking care of the real threats in the game, namely Livingston, John, Kailyn, and Joey. Getting a dark round, I think this is the best thing we could've asked for because like I said before, I think Keegan was holding himself back from really pushing his agenda. I think Keegan is aware how big of a threat John is in these games, so if I can sort of use Keegan's mistrust in John against him, I might be able to swing for a much bigger target this coming round - Livingston. I kinda feel like Livingston is REALLY well-connected on this tribe, he's basically best friends with everyone from Jake to Joey to Keegan to Pat. If I want to free some of those bigger names up, I really need to go for Livingston because his position is SO desirable right now. I think people are cognizant to the danger posed by those four guys, but no one is really looking at Livingston because they love him so much. If I can somehow convince John that getting rid of Livingston benefits both of us, I might take that shot. It's going to come at a huge fucking risk though, but doesn't everything when you're playing in the dark have a big risk associated with it? Then it just kinda takes getting Ben, Kailyn, and Xavier on my side as well and then the shot is literally so close I can taste it. HOWEVER! Before I start hyping myself up right now, I have to focus on what really matters to me - getting to the end. Resume building doesn't need to start at the final eleven. My biggest error in all of my past Tumblr Survivor games is that I start playing the game REALLY hard way too early. I've learned maybe a couple lessons in subtlety along the way, so planting seeds is gonna need to be the way to go. If I start saying things like, "isn't Livingston so cool? He's basically friends with everyone" and "I would like to see Livingston win if I'm not in the end, he's a really cool guy" it'll 1) be super obvious that I want to make a move against him and 2) maybe start giving people the idea that their best friend is their biggest competition in the end. Something doesn't need to happen tomorrow. It's about the long game, too. I just hope for my sake that I'm doing enough to keep my head above water. If tonight was proof of anything, it's that this game is going to get a lot more difficult. 

I can't believe that worked so perfectly. Ben does everything I tell him to do, even down to interrupting me during the challenge. He's public enemy #1, and that's another meat shield for me. Stephanie goes - truthfully I feel horrible because she is so sweet - but that's the last person who I wasn't directly aligned with. Also, the Dark Round couldn't have come at a better time. If Ben or I win immunity, I have a plan to get out another big threat. And this is one of my favorite flash games. But at this point I need to act like Ben and I aren't tight. If I make it to the end everyone is gonna hate me. Oof.

[littlepurinsesu]

V Watches MagiReco - Episode 8 Review

*Spoilers for Magia Record Anime Episode 8*

Okay, I was not expecting to enjoy this week’s episode as much as I did! :O From the anime’s pattern so far, I was fully expecting a slower episode with less action as they introduced the next main character (in this case Sana), but this episode had a lot of deviations from the game that did a lot of good, in my opinion!

Lots of positive things to say again for this review ^0^ And no, it’s not just because of that Kanagi “cameo” (even though there WILL be at least one paragraph of me screaming about that LOL you have been warned) xD

I think the slower pace of this episode gave us a really good chance to see how the main characters have adjusted and truly integrated themselves into their new lives. We see Iroha starting at her new school, Felicia starting her part-time job at Banbanzai, Tsuruno visiting to deliver bento boxes for Iroha and the two going to school together... so many small details that seem unimportant to the plot but really give us a good picture of the characters’ new lives and relationships. And that’s really important stuff. They seem to have taken a longer time and really drew out the introduction of this new Rumour rather than immediately rushing into the next one, and this gives the main cast some room to breathe and just be themselves, and also gives the audience a sense of some time having passed as well.

It was also really nice to see Rena back! Seems strange to me that Momoko wasn’t with her, but I was starting to worry that Momoko’s team would be forgotten and pushed to the background, so I was quite pleased to see them still popping up every now and then. The episode also gave us some quality Iroha and Rena bonding, which is kind of bittersweet when you consider that both of them either don’t have friends or always find themselves somehow isolated from the crowd. Rena is still a prickly little tsundere, but seeing her waiting for Iroha and giving her more information and talking with her really put a smile on my face :) I really want Rena and Iroha to be able to make more friends, and it’s super cute when the new friends are none other than each other ^^

Also, the thing about Kaede is really interesting. I’m sure this is an anime-original plot point, but I’m wondering how this is going to tie in with Sana’s arc, or any other part of the Main Story. Rena confirms that Kaede hasn’t actually disappeared; she still comes to school, but rushes home immediately after and doesn’t talk or reply to anyone. We also see her at home with all her plants at the beginning (cute!). I’m guessing she’s still traumatised from that Doppel experience and hasn’t figured out what’s going on, so is too afraid of getting close to her friends in fear of hurting them? Whatever they’re planning, I hope it has some relevance to that post-credits scene in episode 5 so we get some closure to what actually happened and the scene won’t seem so “cool but random” lmao.

Alright imma get this out of the way. (Feel free to skip this paragraph if you’re not interested in hearing me gush about my queen.) K A N A G I I Z U M I. If anyone reading this has been following my past MagiReco posts or knows anything about me at all, you’ll know that I’m absolute trash for Kanagi Izumi xD My best girl may be Iroha, but Kanagi is a character I really admire, respect, and adore. Anyway, I saw the official MagiReco Twitter account post about a Kanagi rate-up banner and was hella confused but excited because my queen was not supposed to appear until... at least until Tsuruno is captured by the Magius and Felicia and Sana have returned. So I guess it makes sense that it was in the form of a “mysterious person on the phone” rather than an actual debut, but gosh as soon as I heard her voice I almost lost it AHHHHHHHHHH （♥>ｏ<♥） This eases any fears I had of her being cut from the anime (I would have hunted down the studio if they made that decision LOL); not only is she not gonna be cut, but they gave her a surprise, mysterious, early introduction, too?!?!? YASSSSS (ᗒᗨᗕ)

Yachiyo’s phonecall with Kanagi is a surprising change to make because Kanagi’s presence is really “not very relevant” at this point, but I guess they really wanted to show how big the Wings of Magius' influence is. As Kanagi says, they’ve taken most of the girls from the East by now. I’m wondering what anime-onlys would feel about this scene, since they probably have no idea who Yachiyo is talking to. If anything, it would probably add to the mystery surrounding Yachiyo (which I hope the anime goes into soon). I was a little conflicted at first because I really wanted Yachiyo’s first contact with Kanagi to seem like a “we haven’t spoken in ages but desperate times call for desperate measures” kind of thing, because with this scene, the next time they "openly” contact her won’t have that same impact. But then the more I think about it, the more I think this might actually be for the better. Kanagi’s introduction into the cast won’t feel like such a “random” thing (like, “oh wait, who are you and since when were you so important?”); Yachiyo has been in some degree of contact with her and she was “there" all along. So yeah, a good change in retrospect, and I’m never gonna say no to seeing (or hearing) more of Kanagi so I’m all for this change either way LOL

Okay enough rambling about Kanagi (OTL I’m so sorry). Felicia working at Banbanzai is just SO CUTE!!! She’s like a cute little gangster omg those glares and “HUHHH?!?!?” (I’d be scared too, Iroha) xD I think the character that’s gotten the best portrayal in the anime so far really is Felicia. And also the reveal that the reason for her getting into a fight and being sent to the police station was because she was defending Yachiyo and Iroha? CUTEEE OMG I LOVE THIS CHILD!!! She also has a really good sense of fashion hehe :D

The little snippet in there with Ui, Touka, and Nemu may seem a little out of place, but I was actually quite relieved to see them. Every week the anime is throwing new characters at its viewers, so I was worried that anime-only viewers wouldn’t even remember who Touka and Nemu are when they’re eventually revealed to be the Magius. I think it’s good to keep drilling them into viewers’ minds so as not to lose that “OMGGG” factor when they make their proper debut. Also it’s adorable how Ui throws teddy bears in their faces to stop them from arguing LOLLL

The radio show was a really good way to not only sneak in tiny “cameos” of other girls (I think it was Rika and Kanoko this week), but also give a nice picture of life in Kamihama. There’s a sense that Iroha really is a part of this city now, and it’s such a nice feeling to see everything “falling into place;” we’re no longer in those inconsistent and uncertain “introductory” episodes anymore, even though we still have one more major character to bring in. And the laughter coming from the phone is super creepy--cute, but in a really creepy way. All the illustrations for when they were talking about the Rumours this week were also really, really well-done. I have nothing much to say about them except “sasuga Inucurry” haha xD

I really was expecting Madoka and Homura to appear this week, but I guess we may have to wait a little bit more for that >_< BUT Tsukuyo did appear again in her “civilian” form! Iroha chasing her into that building was also a really nice change the anime made; some things really need to be animated for full impact, and I’m loving these minor changes and how much more they add to the characters and atmosphere! Anyway, Tsukuyo seems a lot more menacing here compared to her dine-and-dash incident in the game lmaooo, and I wasn’t expecting a Witch battle!

Speaking of Witch battle, I think this might be one of my main letdowns with this episode: I just really want to see Iroha fight more. I appreciate that she’s proactive in seeking answers and brave enough to jump into these situations despite knowing that she’s weak, but she hasn’t really contributed much in battles so far except a few Connects and using her Doppel. I want to see my girl Iroha go all-out and kick ass with her arrows!!! But it was nice to see the rest of Team Mikazuki showing up so quickly; there’s a real sense of them being an actual team now, and they’ve always got each other’s backs! It would have been nice if the rest of the team got to fight as well rather than Yachiyo taking all the spotlight, but at least Yachiyo was super cool haha (as usual). But the battle clearly isn’t the point of this episode, so I won’t pick on it too much :)

By the way, that Mami appearance was super random. When I saw the ribbons and flowers, I almost thought she was going to appear as Holy Mami for a second. At least we know she hasn’t lost her head just yet ;) The appearance was random, but from what they offered, at least we know that Mami is still either in Kamihama or coming to Kamihama regularly to investigate, and while she was suspicious of Iroha in the past, she went out of her way to help her this time, which was a nice touch.

Anyway, now that Iroha has finally replied to the mysterious messages, we might really get to meet Sana (and Ai-chan) next time! Maybe Madoka and Homura, too! But yeah, this episode is a prime example of one where not much seems to happen, but a lot actually does happen and there’s plenty to pull apart and discuss when you really think back on it. Clearly Kanagi took half my attention and feels this week, but I’m definitely having lots of warm and fuzzies seeing Team Mikazuki doing normal, everyday things together. Seeing Felicia added to the OP was expected but still a treat (the way she bobs around on the spot is SO CUTE!), and I can’t wait for the family to finally be fully formed!

(Also, Yachiyo looks gorgeous in anything she wears, seriously.)

[hu-meow]

Gentleman Jack 1x03

Alright so I had meant to get back to this sooner, but things happen and were we are. I also realize there are a few others that have done similar to this, and they have amazing and far more intellectual and elegant and analytical words for this type of thing. Mine is far more, uh, "I like this because of blah blah blah." Anyway...

1) Fresh from the Lake District, our Ann(e)s find themselves in some lovely conversation only to be interrupted by some Rawson relations. Ann would much rather in with Anne, alone, and it is very clear when she answers Mrs Rawson. "Oh, Miss Lister, you're here. We can leave..." Ann "Oh, if you'd like" HA. Bye bitch, don't let the door hit you on the way out. But alas, they stay. And then Anne flirts, in front of her mother and Ann with Miss Rawson. Ann does this little eyebrow raise, almost like she's thinking over what Anne says, so cute. And originally I was burnt to hell about there being no show of the Lake District trip, but after reading the companion book, Anne didn't go/meet up with Ann there, so I guess that makes sense. But still. Seeing Ann light up would have been very swoon worthy.

2) I keep forgetting to mention how much I love the intro. I never skip it, even after watching it as many times as I have. The only other opening I never skipped was GoT. So. Good job on that one, music/sound team.

3) I don't know French, but Elizabeth Cordingley's complete butcher of it still cracks me up. Any French speakers reading this? Does she even make sense? Is she understandable at all?

4) This little sneaky walk to the "shed" is cute. Obviously Anne has planned it, but Ann is oblivious. And Ann talking about the Ainsworth's. It's like she's hoping Anne will approve of putting them off. At first, we just assume it's because Ann just wants to travel with Anne. But of course, later we realize (at least how I took it) that Ann would rather Mr. Asshole not be anywhere near her. Man, the way the writing sets up everything is just too perfect. Anyway...Ann's (Sophie's) delighted face when she sees the chaumiere! So adorkable. How can you not fall in love with her? Anne totally is, that's for sure lol We get our first two lip licks here (07:12 and 07:54) with Ann being nervous but trying not to be. Suppose it's more anticipation. But she was ready for that damn kiss. She even leaned in, but of course, Anne knows how to draw out that moment, and it makes it even more satisfying. And then the little tongue thing after from Ann. (9:34) It just slays me.

5) A quick "thank you James" and then an up against the door kiss. HNNG. And "...stay all night." GURL. Talk about the Thirst. Went from first kiss to that in .002 seconds. LOVE. IT. It even throws Anne off. And she plans her conquests out. But you can tell Ann was moving FAR quicker than she'd anticipated. It's like Anne didn't even have to try. lol She has to court so hard with these other women, and then here goes little Miss Ann Walker, all but throwing herself at Anne LOL def wife material.

(this is really long, so I’m drop this here)

6) I love spaztastic Marian. I think I love it most because her character was so different in GoT. Much more like Anne's. And here she's so NOT that lol. Emma plays the part so well. Everyone does. God I love this show. The spat at the table was great, with Marian being Marian and Anne trying not to smile through it all. Such perfect sibling dynamic.

7) Captain Lister about to spill the tea and Anne walks in and is like "we don't fight" LOL then continues to lay the verbal smack down to Jeramiah, like "did I fucking stutter with my price?" Anne def has the biggest balls of them all.

8) "Will you tell Calligula" LMAO just great little line. And random, but why doesn't Marian sport the weird little curls at her ears like everyone else does? I think she had them like, once, in ep 1? and that's been it. Just curious about that.

9) Ann asks Anne a few times "are you all right" and of course, Anne's answer to everyone else is always "I'm always all right." but I'm almost certain, Anne always answers Ann with some type of explanation. (there is the 'nothing' before Ann goes to Scotland, but more of that when we get to that episode, and she does still answer. MY HEART). But from what I can remember, Anne doesn't front with Ann that she's "all right". She gives her something, she's open. She's still trying to be strong, but she allows that softness too. Which brings me to probably one of my most favorite kisses of theirs. Its just so slow, and tender, and it's almost a side kiss, and just idk. It's very beautiful. ALSO I noticed this time, that after the kiss, both of their hands are on the back of the chair, and their fingers/pinkies are touching (29:50) It's brief and you almost miss it, but damn. I need that giffed. gif'd? gif'ed? as a gif. It's just too precious. They cant kiss more because of where they are and Anne is about to leave, but their hands are hidden and they just need that little bit more of contact and its just HNNG.

10) I love Aunt Anne. She's just a treasure and she love Anne so much and wants her to truly be happy. And I totally want to start saying "off you pop" LOL

11) Okay, so even though the Ann(e)s have done a LOT together, it just feels like this dinner is their official first date. They both dress up, it's dinner, Ann is nervous again and she's rambling and it's so adorkable and Anne thinks so too and just smiles as she waits for Ann to get to her point. Then there's still some nervousness with after dinner tea, and Anne is like, well, first date done, time for the big one with a reassuring leg squeeze...and Ann gets to the very idea of it being a marriage on her own! Cue floored Anne once again. I swear every time Ann surprises Anne, she falls more in love with her little Miss Walker. Ann is doing the lip lick think (38:59) and omg the way she says, and especially her face for, "give birth" is just as great as the first time. That should be a gif too LOL

12) Fucking John Booth going to the wrong damn house! Come on dude, are you even paying attention to what/were your mistress goes?? Facepalm for days. I think that actually happened though, if I'm not mistaken (it's been a minute since I read the companion book, and I read it at like 3am, and slept since...but if not, whatevs.)

13) OMG the full blown make out! Complete with some grubbling!! I find it interesting though, that Ann has Anne stop, as it becomes "too much" yet she had been asking her to stay all night. I wonder if this is a nod to how indecisive Ann was, or if she just didn't quite understand how overly emotional the physical stuff would make her. Either way, we end up with FIVE (5) nervous lip licks here, folks. It was a hard scene to not blink through, and lots of 10 sec rewinds to catch it all (42:13, 42:37, 42:44, 42:46, and a half one but I count it anyway at 43:00. I think I got those times correct, anyway. Just watch the whole scene, really.) And then we end it was Anne's 4th wall break and Ann asking what she's looking at LOL I know there's talk about wanting Ann to have some 4th wall breaks in season 2, and as much as I would love that as well, it's sorta almost a joke that everyone has it BUT Ann. So, even if she doesn't in s2, I won't be horribly disappointed, especially if Anne does it again and Ann asks again LOL

14) There were other things I had notes on, but I'm skipping because this is longer than the first two, and I hadn't planned that. Ah well...Back to the Ann(e)s....LOL of all the places, why is Ann on the floor? I mean, safety? Protection? Because shes just too fucking precious? I'd assume yes. But Anne is so confused and ready to fuck someone up and then once Ann tells her, the look on Anne's face as she goes from worry to relief is just amazing. Suranne, you fucking goddess. And then all the comfort Anne gives Ann as the poor girl just cries and doesn't think she's good enough. And again, I think this is a bit because of Mr. Fucktard, pressing and getting what he wants no matter what, where as Anne stepped back and made Ann comfortable. I swear Ann doesn't know what it's like to be put first, that her concerns are heard and understood and valued. Everyone just pushes their opinion or wants on her, and she's just had to go with it over th years. She just doesn't even know how to react to Anne and her attentiveness. It's so refreshing for Ann, even if she doesn't fully understand it. And also, because Ann was a wreck, three more lip licks, shit four! (50:59, 51:14, 51:20, 51:44)

15) Fucking Mrs SneakAss Priestly. She can't just leave well enough alone. So bored she's gotta fuck with Ann's happiness. We're having some hella good grubbling, the first fucking "I love you" and this old biddy has to ruin the parade. Anne was hella quick to jump up though. Almost like she's done that before (even though, she totally hasn't, amiright LOL) Ann(e)s just standing there after Mrs P leaves, and omg lol Anne has this "well fuck, how do we turn this around" look, like her brain is really whirling and hoping Ann doesn't freak out, mean while Ann just loses her shit and busts out laughing. So great that happened for real, too. Ann Walker, you are fantastic. "do you want to go upstairs?" because, hello, someone has blue balls at this point. But it's so cute once they get up to Ann's room and the scene nearly ends with her lip lick (58:23). But those stares, like yeah, we're totally in this together now....

AH OKAY. FucKIng LONG. I'm sorry! I even cut some things, so if you made this far, thank you! This was a really good episode, really kicks off their momentum and is sorta the calm before the storm. Oh, I also started to take note of the dresses Ann wears, cuz I swear she only wears like five. so far I have: That Blue Dress, the pink/purple plaid (first kiss), the pink with the sheer puff sleeves (that's what she's wearing in my fave kiss), the pink with some design (flowers?) for the "date", and a pink/purple color she's wearing at the end. So, that is five, and I'll have to see what else she wears, if any (yes shes wearing something else in Scotland, and no, night clothes don't exactly count. though her with her side braid and yellow corset and bloomers is my fave in the whole series...more of that later.)

Counts:

*Anne 4th wall breaks (ep): 3

**Total: 11

*Ann's lip licks (ep): 13!

**Total: 19

(there was a lot this ep, so I'm not going to list them here. And there was a fair amount of lip presses, which are def honourable mentions and worth watching...)

[wiseabsol]

WA Reviews “Dominion” by Aurelia le, Chapter 6: Timing

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6383825/6/Dominion

Summary: For the Fire Nation royal siblings, love has always warred with hate. But neither the outward accomplishment of peace nor Azula’s defeat have brought the respite Zuko expected. Will his sister’s plans answer this, or only destroy them both?

Content Warnings: This story contains discussions and depictions of child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and incest. This story also explores the idea that Zuko’s redemption arc (and his unlearning of abuse) is not as complete as the show suggested, and that Azula is not a sociopath (with the story having a lot of sympathy for her). If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, I would strongly recommend steering clear of this story and my reviews of it.  

Note: Because these were originally posted as chapter reviews/commentaries, I will often be talking to the author in them (though sometimes I will also snarkily address the characters). While I’ve also tried not to spoil later events in the story in these reviews, I would strongly recommend reading through chapter 25 before reading these, just to be safe.

Now on to chapter 6!

CHAPTER 6: TIMING

Alright, let’s see if I can review chapter six before the day is out. I’ve got five hours. I can totally do this! So Zuko, Mai, and Lu Ten are vacationing on Ember Island, which is also where the asylum is. This is already not a great combination. I think it’s pretty funny that Mai’s palanquin has more black on it than the other two, although that defeats the purpose of it being ambiguous who is in which palanquin if someone chooses to attack their procession. Yes, they are less likely to all be wiped out in a single strike this way, but someone could still target any one of them and still achieve a devastating amount of damage. Mai is heavily implied later to have fertility issues, so taking out Lu Ten might mean there would be no heir to inherit later. Mai is the spymaster, so taking her out would cripple Zuko’s administration. And taking out Zuko would throw the precarious peace the Fire Nation now has with the rest of the world into the refuse bin. So the consequences would be nasty any way that that attack could go. Related to this, the royal family being this small means it’s very vulnerable. Sure, there’s Iroh to fall back on in case something happens to Zuko, Mai, and Lu Ten, but Iroh no longer has his own heir. He could potentially legitimize one of his bastards to solve that problem, but he doesn’t know any of them like he knew Lu Ten. Ozai and Azula are non-options as well, as far as most of the world is concerned. And there are no uncles, aunts, cousins, or other blood relations for the throne to pass to outside of these people. If another noble family wanted to overthrow the royal family, they wouldn’t have to go through that many people to get what they wanted. Sure, the people they would have to get through are powerful, but they could feasibly accomplish it if there was, say, a rebellion of the magnitude of Robert’s Rebellion against Targaryens in ASOIAF. It could be done if they had the right candidate to rally around. But back to the chapter. There’s an interesting political undercurrent going on where Ember Island is concerned, and Zuko’s initiative in dealing with it pleasantly surprised me. Mai deciding to use this opportunity to take a vacation and look for more “knives and stilettos” for her collection made me chuckle, and the mention of Sokka’s space sword was great. I’m imagining Mai presenting it to Sokka with just a hint of smugness now. Gosh, Zuko and Mai are cute before shit hits the fan in chapter seven. Him holding up a parasol for her and her exasperation about him “roughing it up in exile” made me smile. Also, Lu Ten is cute with his “white gold” eyes. I do have some doubts about him being a firebender, though. For one, it seems like him not being one would throw a serious wrench into Zuko and Mai’s dynastic plans, which could be interesting to explore in “Thrones.” Second, given that Mai isn’t a bender and Ursa wasn’t one either, there’s around a 50/50 shot that Lu Ten isn’t. So it’s both a reasonable possibility genetically and intriguing plot-wise, so I’m leaning towards him not being one at present. I also have a theory that a certain other child will be legitimized by Zuko later on, adding another wrench into the already complicated works. But I’ll get to that in later chapters. “‘Love you, bye’ [ . . . ] Was that really how Lu Ten would remember his father? As someone who was always leaving about some official business?”—This is actually really sad, because I imagine that while Zuko worried about whether he would be a good father or not, he does genuinely love his son and want to have a connection with him. “Once he convinced his people that an honorable peace was worth sacrificing a century of ill-gotten gains.”—Very nice symmetry in this line here. “He still wanted more.”—I have an AMV you should watch in regards to that, Zuko: (slash)watch?vS6fNJ79evn8. Also, that song is very appropriate for the conflict in “Dominion” in general. “He didn’t look forward to the prospect of wearing so much clothing in this heat, but if that succeeded in getting his opponents to take him more seriously, he supposed it was worth the imposition.”—Or you could strip to get your opponents to take you seriously. Oh wait. “Mai could almost understand why Lu Ten never tired of playing with [Zuko’s crown]. Beyond the fact that Zuko didn’t often allow him to.”—This makes me remember how Azula allows a certain child to play with her crown later, so this is a nice bit of (probably) unintended contrast. “/Wake the baby, and you die/”—Lol, Mai. Okay, so basically none of the loyalists want to meet up with Zuko to discuss how the Fire Nation should be run. And while he and Mai are discussing it, she says, “Not everyone’s as honest as you” and I want to laugh myself sick. Mai goes over some of the reasons why the loyalists are refusing to meet with him, then volunteers to help him with the negotiations. We also get this cute line, “She had thought there must be something wrong with him, when Zuko told her [her grimace] was her most endearing mannerism.” They have such a wholesome relationship here. It would be such a shame if something happened to it. “‘I know,’ Mai sighed dramatically, ‘sometimes I doubt my own judgement’”—I’m both laughing at that and pitying her, given later events. Okay, so Zuko expresses that he sometimes feels as if Azula wouldn’t have these kinds of problems ruling like he does. Technically, he’s right—the loyalists would much rather have Azula as their ruler than Zuko (if they couldn’t have Ozai, that is). But rather than continuing to reassure Zuko, Mai shuts this conversation down with snide remarks about the other problems Azula would have, namely being crazy. Which is unfair to both Zuko and Azula, even though I get why mentioning Azula set Mai off like that. In response, Zuko asks her, “‘Will you honestly pretend you never had /any/ regard for her at all? [ . . . ] That you /hated/ every minute of it?’” After which Mai actually admits that she was fond of Azula—the line “‘And she actually had a sense of humor.’ /Unlike someone else I could mention/” was especially painful to me. It seems like progress coming from her, but then: “That now that she consented to share her feelings, they could cry together over Azula’s sad, sad fate. Or some similar nonsense. Agni, he was worse than Ty Lee sometimes.”—The expectation the readers were building to is averted. “‘She crossed a line, when she left you to die. And subsequent events showed her for what she really was. [ . . . ] Something barely human, let alone deserving of respect.”—I maintain that Mai is wrong about Azula’s capacity to kill Zuko. First, let’s look at what happened when Azula “tried to kill” Zuko. When the ropes for the cable car were being cut in the Boiling Rock, Ty Lee, interestingly, did not express any concern about that. That would be strange if Zuko’s life was in danger, since we know she cares for Zuko as a friend. As such, while I don’t know exactly what would have happened if the cable car had hit the boiling lake, it seems as if there’s a possibility that it would have floated instead of sinking. Instead of everyone inside of it being killed, they would have been left stranded on the lake, where they could have been retrieved and taken into custody. Or it could have killed them, but again, I can’t see Ty Lee being okay with that, given her defense of Mai in that same episode. Then there was the attack on the Western Air Temple, during which Zuko seemingly falls to his death twice. The first time this happens, he lands on another Fire Nation airship—which Azula had to know was there. The second time it happens, Azula is falling along with him, until she manages to save herself. Now the question is, would she have managed to find a way to save him as well? Would she have grabbed him as she launched herself towards the cliff? Ultimately, we don’t know the answer to this, because the Gaang caught Zuko before she got her bearings back. She didn’t have to save him, so we will never know if she would have chosen to do so. As such, it’s ambiguous how serious her attempts to murder him were. It’s possible that despite her claims and her father’s orders, she might have been trying to capture Zuko instead. We can’t know for sure one way or the other. Zuko, on the other hand, would have let Azula fall to her death. No matter how any readers might feel about his characterization in “Dominion,” they can’t deny that that was something that he did in canon—and given the emphasis on being merciful to one’s enemies in ATLA, that was a decidedly unheroic thing for him to do, especially after he had been “redeemed.” Anyway, back to the chapter. Zuko thinks he should go visit Azula, since they’re on Ember Island. Not because he wants to, but because he thinks he should. “letting the fabric fall from his hands and onto their bed like a sinuous river of blood”—Great description to convey the tone of the moment. “‘You don’t owe her anything [ . . . ] And the sooner you realize that, the better off we’ll /all/ be.”—Mai’s not wrong, but we know Zuko doesn’t feel the same way. “‘You don’t know what it’s like [ . . . ] to have someone you whole life, and then they’re just gone.”—Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch. But has it occurred to Zuko that Azula probably felt the same way when he was exiled? I’m sure it hasn’t. "Mai considered in that moment just going with him, but dismissed it almost as quickly. She had never been to see Azula, and there was no telling how the mad princess would react to her, whatever improvements Ty Lee claimed in her mental state."—Honestly, Mai? Maybe you should have gone with him. I think it's clear that you're still hurting over what happened at the Boiling Rock, even if you deny it and claim that your denial is closure. Talking with her might have helped you, and it might have helped Zuko too. In addition, I suspect that the events of this story would have gone down a dramatically different path if you had been with Zuko during chapter seven. But you chose to stay with Lu Ten, which is, admittedly, a reasonable choice to make, especially given your justifications for it (namely, that if Azula got the upper hand in a fight, she could use you against Zuko). But it also meant that you missed an opportunity to head off some of this story's conflict before it began. So Zuko goes to visit Azula, while Mai practices with her knives. The "but [she] like to think it was something more, that maybe he inherited not just her eyes and thick black hair, but her enduring love of pointy things" is super cute and makes me want him to be a nonbender even more. After a while, though, Mai gets the news that Azula has escaped. Yes! Except she's not as enthused about the prospect as I am. "'Answer your Fire Lady!' Mai said stridently, taking a quick step closer to compel him and eliciting a frightened squeak from Lu Ten, who was unused to hearing his mother express herself so loudly."—Nice characterization here. "Another /cursed/ letter"—Ah, so does this mean Mai is fully aware of Azula's letters and Zuko's fixation on them? "'Dada?' he chirped hopefully up at her, with that same uncertain smile she had seen on Zuko's face too many times to count."—Awww! "while Mai removed the flame headpieces and pin from her hair, letting it fall freely down her back"—Have we ever seen Mai with her hair down? I don't think we have. I'm curious about how that looks. "And Mai reflected on the fitness of the metaphor"—While I reflect on the cleverness of the writing.

We move on to Zuko who, like us, is skeptical that the breakout at the asylum had nothing to do with Azula. Also, "cold therapy" sounds like the Fire Nation's equivalent of electroshock therapy. Apparently, it "helps" mental ill firebenders, which both Zuko and I think is nonsense. In any case, Azula got thrown into a cooler at one point, with Iroh's consent. Apparently it did not go well, because Azula flashed back to being frozen by Katara in the finale, even assuming the position she was in then, with her hands behind her back. Eventually, though, she acclimated to the cells. "'We think her fire simply burns too hot. As you are aware, she is the first bender in several generations to wield blue flames, and the first ever recorded in the royal family.'"—This is so cool. I wonder what the stories of the other blue flame benders are? "'You're used to blaming her when things go wrong, aren't you? [ . . . ] It gives you a measure of comfort."—Dr. Kwan's got your measure, Zuko. Oooohhh, so Zuko wanted Azula to be guarded by eight imperial firebenders at all times. It's no wonder she needed to set up an escape for some of the other patients in the asylum—how else to pull the guards away from her? Also, the "No joke" comment made me laugh. "Didn't these people know what she /was/?"—Stop saying "what" instead of "who" Lord Weirdo. It's contributing to your dehumanization of Azula. "This one opened outward, to prevent Azula from hiding behind it when anyone entered her cell."—That is surprisingly savvy of them to have designed the door that way. "'Her hair is /brown/! /Dark/ brown, like my /mother's/!"—Ugh from the future. "'And she's /shorter,/ that isn't /her/!"—So is it canon that Azula has a short stature, or is that more of your preference, Aurelia? Because as a short woman, I don't mind, but I also don't know the answer to that question, XD. Zuko briefly panics, thinking that Azula is pretending to be one of the imperial firebenders, which is a nice nod to her pretending to be a Kyoshi Warrior in canon. But of course Azula didn't stick around like that. "But it still hurt"—The way this is led into makes me think that this is meant to be read as, "But it still hurt that she'd betrayed him," even though this isn't a betrayal, because it's not about him at all. This is also a nice echo to Azula's speech on the beach. "The guard smiled shyly, odd as that was to see in a man at least five years his senior, 'It'd be hard to forget….'"—Is it weird that I find that cute? Because I do. Azula's plan is brilliant, which of course it would be. Though Zuko thinks, "This just proved how little they knew her. Azula didn't identify with anyone, Zuko recalled. She was just good at pretending." Which is not true. Azula is capable of empathy; she just doesn't express it in obvious ways. Being raised by a sociopath who equated warm emotions with weakness no doubt influenced her in that respect. "The one part that did /not/ make an awful sort of sense to him, was how she had subdued a guard and left the cell under her own power. Kwan and the guards both confirmed that she had been sedated, and the effect should have lasted several more hours."—This primes us to both the fact that Azula has been building up an immunity to the sedatives they're been giving her, but also that she might still be effected by the drugs when we see her. This is important in light of what happens in the next chapter. Zuko's means of trying to find Azula are actually very well thought out. Then he remembers that it's Azula's birthday, which makes him remember his conversation with Ty Lee, which makes him remember when he was last on the beach with Ty Lee, Mai, and Azula. This leads him to the realization that Azula has gone to the royal family's abandoned summer home. "He knew how much she hated it there."—Is there a specific reason for that, or is it just that it reminds her of her mother and thus is poisoned by her resentment towards Ursa? "His footfalls sounded despite the dust, the faded wood floors unaccustomed to his weight, and a sudden idea struck him. Zuko removed his boots and left them sitting beside the doors"—Well that is one way to make sure you don't have to worry about the logistics of him removing them in a certain scene in the next chapter. "Not a /single/ pair of /pants/ in her entire wardrobe?' Azula grumbled to herself. 'Why am I not sur—'"—I may have laughed really hard at this, because of course Ursa wouldn't have owned any pants! That would have been so unladylike of her! Though it is also very concerning that Azula decided to look through her mother's clothes for something first. I get the rationale behind her decision, but it's also unsettling once you know she uses the same makeup as her mother too. "He did not remember deciding to look inside. That fact alone was troubling."—Brace yourself, Zuko, it's about to get 1000x more troubling. "And he had never been one to hide pointlessly. Or to run from a fight."—Pssht, who thinks that way about themselves and expects us to take them seriously? "'You came back.'"—Oh Azula, honey. I wish he had come back for you, but he came back for the idea of you more than anything else. And that cliffhanger is where you chose to end the chapter. I'm very fortunate that I started reading this when there was—gosh, I want to say sixteen chapters up already? I distinctly remember getting the notification in my inbox when "A Kindness" came out. So I didn't have to wait for chapter seven like some readers did, which I imagine would have killed me. I know waiting for "Line of Fire" almost did, and that was for Ursa rather than Azula. Though to be fair, Ursa is a fascinating character, so she was worth the wait. In any case, I'm looking forward to tackling chapter seven and heading into the meat of this story, but I might need a few days to prepare myself for it. As always, thank you for the read! Sincerely, WiseAbsol

[canaryatlaw]

well, today was fine. not exciting, but there are gonna be a lot of those now that I’m officially immersed in bar studying as a full time thing. I set an alarm for 1:15 pm because I didn’t want to sleep in too much, so I got up when that went off. I made eggs for breakfast because I feel like I’ve been living off sugar and carbs lately (I say this as I’m snacking on “cinnamon toast crunch blasted” shredded wheat, which is entirely sugar and carbs) so maybe I should vary that a bit. By 2 I started my first bar video, which was 3 1/2 hours, and basically finishing what we were doing yesterday by going through each of the 7 subjects tested on the MBE (multi-state bar exam), being torts, con law, contracts, property, criminal law and procedure (which is two different classes but treated as one subject), civil procedure, and evidence. So we did 5 practice questions for each and then went over them. So that was the first video, which I finished around 5:30. I took like ten minutes to get some food, then started the next one, which consisted of a “mini-test” which had two questions for each of the 7 subjects we’d reviewed in a random order like it would be on the actual bar, and then we went over those, so nothing too mind blowing, just a long time commitment and having to stay engaged. There are a handful of other bar tested electives like secured transactions and wills & trusts, but those are on a different part of the exam. While going through the second video, Jess and I started to scheme about going to eternal con in a few weeks, which is conveniently located on Long Island, where my family is, so we could stay with them, and it turns out Frontier Airlines finally unrolled their direct flights from O’Hare to the LI airport that they told my parents they were going to do like two years ago and they’ve been bugging me about it ever since, lol. They are currently the only airline that has a direct flight from Chi into the LI airport and not the city, which is a big deal for my parents because they really loathe picking me up from Laguardia (like, a lot) so I knew flying into Islip would be a lot easier. Once the bar review video was over I called my dad and talked it over, then made the arrangements, so we are good to go! I’m super excited because I haven’t been at a con since HVFF Chicago, and by the time I’ll get to this one it will have been like 2 months, lol, which is way too long considering the rate at which we’d been going before conpocalypse weekend right before everyone got super busy with life stuff. I’m trying to figure out if we might run into anybody I know, there are a couple people from LI that I know do cosplay, so we may run into them. I’ll have to figure out what I’m doing cosplay wise. But yeah, I’m excited about that. I also talked to him about the bar and future plans and all that good stuff, I still haven’t heard back on the email I sent the NY job, so if I don’t get anything tomorrow I’m gonna go ahead and call them. I’m feeling more and more like this isn’t going to happen based on how I haven’t heard a peep from them yet, not even like a “hey we’re still deciding but we’ll get back to you” it’s just been nothing, and I don’t know how I feel about that. I mean, I’m pumped about potentially staying in Chicago, which is objectively the better option at this point  job wise, but the idea of really not having a job lined up makes me anxious, even though I know a lot of people don’t get hired until after they take the bar. just gotta keep applying....I need to spend some time looking for jobs and applying soon, the bar studying schedule is just really intense, they have stuff scheduled for every day, including weekends, so that’s gonna be a lot when I do have weekend obligations I need to do, so I’ll have to figure all of that out. We’ll see what happens, hopefully by tomorrow I’ll at least know if I’m going to get an answer. After the phone call I watched one episode of 13 Reasons Why, which the only comment on I’ll make is that in reality the entirety of Clay’s mom’s firm would’ve been conflicted off the case, not just his mom, because if they attempted to screen her off and establish a “chinese wall” (that’s the term they use to describe it when you cut one lawyer off from any info in a case, I have no idea why) they clearly have broken it on multiple occasions and the courts don’t play with that shit, so they’d be long gone at this point. That and I have to reiterate my assertion that there is no way in hell the school would ever have gone to trial, even if all their offers got rejected, and they especially would not be making the arguments they’re making in court because they would be getting absolutely crucified by the media and it would look really, really bad for them. Anyway. The fact that the Krypton season finale was on tonight and there were people tweeting about it on my feed reminded me that I haven’t watched last week’s episode (and I won’t be able to watch the finale until tomorrow because I don’t get stupid Syfy) so I then switched over to that. Interesting developments, the most of which I’d credit to the Zod family, finding out Drew Zod is actually Seg’s son as well as Lyta’s was quite the revelation, being that it means him and Jor-El are actually brothers (who end up being sworn enemies). So I guess we’ll see how that plays out in the finale. After that I watched a few episodes of 30 Rock while I tried to wind things down on the computer (and by that I mean reading all the articles and buzzfeed posts I’d pulled up) before starting to get ready for bed, and now I’m here. Good stuff. PT tomorrow, then more bar prep of course. Such an exciting life I lead, I know. I’ll take it though, because boring right now means excitement later, and that’s where I want to end up being. Alright, I’m done for now. Goodnight huns. Sleep well.

[mickadamz]

i know everyone has their own opinions on this, but how do you characterize 2p American and 2p England? like how do you see their personalities and stuff? how do you think they vary from their 1p (is that the term?) versions?

OOHEHEHEEHEHEH OH MAN YOURE IN FOR A TREAT

IVE DONE SO MUCH WIT THEM ITS INSANE OKAY

2p eng: his full name is oliver jack marshall. I’m gonna include physical appearances as well. so oliver…

6′0-6′1

average build, though much scrawnier compared to like idk the 1800s

redhead???? yes?

dusty blue eyes

fair skin, not as pale as arthur, but not as tan as, say, greece or romano

longer, kinda rounder features as compared to arthur’s rather compact and sharp features

wavier hair

usually has a scar on his left eye, other scars are au dependant 

ambidextrous, arthur is only left handed (personal head canon, i don’t remember his dominant hand LOL)

freckles bitch

appears to be in his mid-late twenties

has a tired but understanding look on his face most the time

actually has a very nice and subtle smile. he’s been through a lot and its really a blessing to see him relax

as for non appearance based traits:

one of the few aph related characters i don’t see as bisexual, as he’s fully homosexual

not much of a social person, similar to his 1p, but arthur has a bigger struggle with making friends and talking to people as he’ kinda got a mindset that not many people even like him and he’s kinda rude as a defence mechanism? idk i haven’t touched canon in a while but oliver is still not a social person but mores than arthur is

introvert

has a… huge amount of secrets behind his sorta cheerful exterior. beneath that he’s not as nice as you think but he’s trying. things are hard for him

despite existing for much longer and dying less than arthur, he has no idea how to not keep his feelings and such closed up and he finds it difficult to deal with traumatic events. he’s mentally weaker and pretty unstable when having an episode or just in a very stressful situation. otherwise, he seems to function alright

surprisingly not very affectionate to people. theres a few exceptions.

actually has a good relationship with his sealand, arnold gets Nervous hen oliver’s away for a while or doesn’t call-text back within an hour or so. see the o=point above the affection related one

PETTY

sorta friendly, trying to be more open to people. he knows the make mistakes so he tries to be more forgiving

kinda stoic, not much seems to faze him in a regular setting

died 108 times or so (not counting the story related to my allen blog)

bad at baking but excellent at cooking: “oliver is that a cake” ‘*crying* it’s a mistake’

not very graceful

STUPIDLY COURAGEOUS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF G

breaks the rules if he sees its unjust or unnecessary. a very moral tied person, compared to arthur who fears he’ll be punished the second he tries to against the law, no matter the cause behind it

very loyal

most optimistic of the 2p allies

really likes to make things for people, good artist and basic builder

selfless

enjoys vaporwave

has 3 scottish straight-brutish shorthair cats and a horse, the cats are named samwise, bess, and marmalade/marmie. the horse is named thomas

2p america’ full name is allen tomas soliz .

physically:

5′6-5′7

his appearance (skin tone, hair, facial features) resemble a mid twenties mexican-american man 

his legs aren’t very strong, but he’s pretty fast

his upper body is of average build, but he works out regularly so it’ll increase in strength

missing a tooth

warm, friendly dark brown eyes

calloused hands from having to do things himself and helping out some people he’s come across in the south-western US before westward expansion

wavy, almost curly hair. he attempts to groom it for what its worth.

his skin and hair are soft, he regularly takes care of himself!

picks at his fucking nails so they don’t look the best but what can you do, not like they’re dirty

growing a moustache and a goatee 

SIDEBURNS

h….hes hot

does have scars, most tend to be on his hands from doing heavy duty tasks on his own. has one just above his right eyebrow and on his lip where his tooth is missing

million dollar smile!

right handed

as for non physical traits:

unlike alfred, his twin is a sister and its 2p mexico instead of 2p canada. he’s still related to him though. its mor elf a half/step brother situation

that being said, his mother’s personification is based around the aztec empire area, though mostly around that one group of natives

broadway fan!!!!!!! would die to get on broadway

a big sweetheart really

I’m unsure about the vegan thing but he’s probably got food allergies anyway so dietary restrictions still apply i guess

has a dg named veggie and 2 cats, named armel (large man) and calixto (the devil incarnate)

social fuckin butterfly bitch!

dense like alfred, but not on purpose. cannot read the atmosphere that well

an open fucking book

bisexual

very big on affection in any form

HORNY ON MAIN

I’m kidding but he likes sex. not a big fan of one time flings or fuckbuddies, but has tried it or done it more than once. 

hopeless romantic

he actually switched spots with his nyo counterpart. he used to represent the mid-west due to the high native and mexican population back around the 1800s when he officially joined the other 3 americas. when jessi came along, he switched with her once broadway became bigger and once films started being produced. she’s a movie star, and he’s a Hugh jackman kind of person. he just wants to sing

he may look rough and tough, but once you see him smile for the first time (usually as a greeting to people on the street, he’s very friendly to people), you can see he’s really just a nice person and loves to socialize

graceful as hell, also has a powerful singing voice

also very emotional

almost as stupidly courageous as oliver

rule breaker, most the time for fun, other times because of his morals. protests if he finds it necessary or it suits his personal beliefs

optimistic

i should note that my 2ps have more ‘free reign’ than the other counterparts. they’re the ‘backups’ in case the 1ps are unable to do something. seeing historically, men were more involved in government, its why most personifications involved with government affairs are males. there are obvious exceptions to this, but thats a general (fan made) reason why the majority that we’ve seen in the series are male

[pendulumprince]

Episode 30, or: didn’t anyone ever tell you not to fuck around in the dark web?

So Playmaker kicks Faust’s ass, Ai is acting pretty sus, Faust Dies™

Now, onto THIS episode

Here’s Link Vrains lookin all green and shit

BUT IN THE UNDERGROUND

Omg why does this look like an actual sewer

So down some long corridor

THERE’S THAT HENTAI LOOKIN HAIRBALL FROM THE PREVIEW LAST WEEK

Holy shit is it alive…?

ONE OF THE TENTACLES MOVES

YUSAKU AND AI FEEL THAT SHIT

AW DAMN

Okay after the opening

Back at SOL Tech, Kita’s meeting with Bishop

FINALLY TIME TO FACE THE MUSIC, YOU CHEAP SACK OF SHIT—

“My AI Duelist Squad purged the three Knights of Hanoi from Link Vrains >:3”

Lmaoooo you fuCKING LIAR

“Well done, Kitamura.”

Bishop PLS don’t tell me you’re that fucking dumb

“But if something like this happens again… you know the consequences.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve already taken steps."

So Kita’s got his AI goons marching the streets, taking out KoH mooks

“I’ll pursue the ignis again and accomplish what Zaizen was too incompetent to do!"

YOU’VE DONE NOTHING KITA

“I’m counting on you~”

“Today will be a great day for SOL Technologies… and I’ll get my promotion >:33”

I have never seen a character so turned on by promotions before

But that's one hell of an evil face you’ve got there, Kita

Do we need to have a talk…?

Anyway, he walks into his throne room or whatever

Pfffft one of the workers just call him Kitamura-chan…?

But she sounds distressed

BUT APPERANTLY THE AI DUELISTS ARE DISAPPEARING EN MASSE

THEY’RE BEING DELETED

“… my promotion is going away…”

IS HE LITERALLY ABOUT TO PASS OUT

Okay he doesn't but I wouldn’t put it past him

Back at the hotdog truck

MYSTERY MAN IS THERE, BUYING A HOTDOG

“Thanks as usual. Please come again.”

“This’ll be my last time.”

“Oh? Are you moving?”

“… something like that”

WAY TO BE SUS, MY GUY

Shoichi tells him he also goes to the Public Viewing Plaza, and to catch him there sometime

So, I’m guessing episode 21’s spot…

According to Ai, Shoichi loses customers pretty often? Lmao

So he offers to be Cafe Nagi’s mascot, but Shoichi thinks that’s lame

WATCH, WHEN AI GOES NUTS AND TRIES TO DESTROY THE WORLD

IT’LL BE BECAUSE YOU SHUT DOWN HIS LIFELONG DREAM OF BEING A FAST FOOD MASCOT

So according to Yusaku, the KoH mooks have disappeared from Link Vrains

But Rev is still out there

So in lInk Vrains, the tentacles move around again

Yusaku and Ai ~feel the force~

Yusaku wants to go into Link Vrains to check it out

By the bridge

Akira and Ema are hanging out by some flowers, talking about Link Vrains and shit

“Currently, Link Vrains is completely normal. Officially announced that the Knights of Hanoi left.”

“You called just to tell me this?” lmao oh Ema

Yeah, it’s cause Akira thinks they’re lying

“The Knights of Hanoi wouldn’t retreat so easily. And Revolver is still hiding."

“I see. Something is happening when nothing seems to be happening. The perfect time to find treasure.”

“Is that the cyber treasure hunter’s credo?”

“Exactly! If I acquire it, I’ll let you have it. For a price.”

“You’re only getting it thanks to my info. How about a discount?”

“We’ll see.”

I’m glad these two fucks are getting… a bit? Friendlier with each other??

Back in Link Vrains

IT’S REV AND SPEC

They’re in front of Genome, Vyra and Faust’s ‘corpses’.

“Losing these three was a serious blow. I lost them because I was focused on Playmaker. But I have no time for sentimentality. They’ve become the foundation to fulfill our plan.”

Wait wait wait

So Rev’s gonna lowkey use their “deaths” to further the plan?

Damn mijo, that’s cold

Specter reminds Revolver that they still don’t know Playmakers identity; he asks if that’s okay.

“This plan must succeed, even if it costs me my life. I’ll eliminate anyone who interferes, no matter who!”

Wow, look at edgelord over here

Back at the hotdog truck, they’re by the water again

Shoichi launches some program to search for abnormalities in Link Vrains

THE TENTACLE MOVED AGAIN

And… apperently it’s fucking with Link Vrains’ infrastructure program

Yusaku gets up, Ai has a bad feeling about this lol

He literally tells Yusaku to “change the course of this conversation”; not that Yusaku’s gonna pay him much mind.

Things are different than before:

“1 Revolver always acted in public, but he hasn’t shown himself.

 I’m sensing that something will happen in Link Vrains.

If Revolver won’t make a move, I’ll track him down!"

So he does into Link Vrains

Is as extra about it as always

So in Link Vrains, Ghost Girl is there, too!

Everything looks normal

But…this background music says otherwise

She sends out a program

Monitors where it runs off to

Playmaker’s in LV now, too

Ai is still casually freaking out

“There’s something weird going on. Seriously, I feel we’re in danger. Let’s go home! It’s dangerous!”

“We have to find the cause.”

“But not today.”

FUCK, WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TODAY

The tentacle moves yet again

Symbolically flicks Playmaker in the eye, he almost falls off his d-biard

“THAT WAS REALLY STRONG!”

“Yeah.”

“Just ‘yeah’?! Let’s return another time!”

“Something is happening in Link Vrains.”

Omgggg Playmaker (/Yusaku) deadass doesn’t have any sense of self-preservation

Okay so he notices the program Ghost Girl sent out

Playmaker decides to follow it

Thinks it’s super sus

Gets off his d-board, follows it on foot

Okat the program is hovering over something

Ghost Girl is right behind them, tells them to leave her fireflies alone lol

Playmaker tells her to log out, since it’s dangerous?? But she’s not about to let this wily teenager steal her treasure

Ai tells Playmaker to just let her handle it, but Playmaker isn’t down for that; her goals and his goals are different

So they follow her in

Playmaker sounds mildly surprised that there’s a sewer in Link Vrains; GG says it’s for unnecessary data

So Ai says the data/programs are running to a processing plant…? Kk

And ofc, the road splits up ahead

GG goes where her program says the treasure is

She asks Playmaker which way he wants to go

Ai wants to play a game to settle it, GG thinks that’s a great idea!

“That’s why you’re Playmaker’s AI-chan~!"

(lmao I love how sly she is)

“I like receiving praise, but I have a name. Ai.”

It’ll never NOT warm my heart to hear how much Ai loves his name

“What a cute name! Is it Ai because you’re an AI?”

“T-t-that’s too simple a reason!” THAT’S THE EXACT REASON, THOUGH

“How about whoever draws the lovelier card rom my deck gets to choose the path?"

“Fine! I’m super confident in my drawing skills! … but maybe you’re going to cheat."

What do you mean maybe, bro? She’s definitely gonna cheat."

“... don’t be silly, what’s the benefit of doing that?”

She shuffles her deck!

Playmaker’s watching her with a borderline-creepy look on his face

AI GOES IN FOR THE DRAW

HE’S GLOWING??

“My right arm is yearning to draw. It whispers to me that it wants a card. Your deck will respond to this thirst, this feeling, this desire! THIS IS MY SPECIAL DESTINY DRAW!”

AI YOU’RE EXTRA AF

He… draws a card and…

IT’S A LITERAL GOBLIN TRAP CARD

UGLY, VERY UGLY

NOT LOVELY AT ALL.

“It’s so bad I don’t even have to draw! I’ll go right. You go left.”

“I can’t believe I drew that card…”

“That deck was full of bad cards.”

“… … ….. SHE CHEATED?!”

“Yeah. Using the simplest trick.”

“She tricked me. For the third time.”

“But it doesn’t make a difference in running into danger. Our goal is to find the cause of the abnormalities."

So GG follows her program…

And Playmaker walks along in the sewer

… AND THEY’RE BEING FOLLOWED BY A DIGITAL SEA MONSTER

“Did you see that?”

“Yeah.”

“I think it went away…”

HAHA BITCH YOU THOUGHT

IT SPRINGS UP OUT OF THE WATER

TRIES TO GRAB PLAYMAKER, GE DODGES IT

RUNS PAST IT

“I TOLD YOU IT WAS DANGEROUS!”

“BE QUIET.”

RUN FORREST, RUN.

… back to GG

She makes it to this glowy pink wall, which she guesses it be the processing plant

She tries to get in, can’t (?)

SO SHE PULLS OUT HER KNIFE

AND LITERALLY HACKS HER WAY THROUGH

So she’s in “the core of Link Vrains’s reprocessing system"

AND RIGHT THERE BEFORE HER IS THE HANTAI TENTACLE HAIRBALL

PLAYMAKER FEELS IT AGAIN

T R I P S

BACK IN CAFE NAGI, SHOICHI KNOWS SOME SHIT IS GOING DOWN

… back in Link Vrains, GG sends her program to gather the data

So she analyzes the hairballs data

Meanwhile, PLAYMAKER’S JUST DOING HIS FUCKING BEST

“The shocks are getting stronger!”

If he weren’t an AI, I bet Ai would be throwing up rn

“Is a great danger coming?”

Um, yes? Don’t you know what show you’re in?

Back to GG, SOMETHING GOES WRONG

“This amount of energy is crazy […] why is this happening?”

Okay so her program redirects to some corridor

GG follows them, and—

“Ghost Girl, I didn’t expect to meet you here.”

AW. SHIT.

IT’S REVOLVER.

“You’re snooping again.”

“No, I just got lost.”

She offers to leave, but—!

“Since you’ve seen this place, I can’t let you leave.”

“… as expected!”

She tries to go back the way she came, but Rev blocks off that exit, too

“What will you do after you capture me?”

“You want to leave that badly?”

“Because if I stay with you, I think I’m in trouble."

I mean. Yeah.

“You’ll help me tune my deck >:3”

OH FUCK OFF REVOLVER

He continues, “if you win the duel, I’ll let you go.”

“I see. Not a bad offer…. but I’ll pass.”

She gets on her d-board and tries to log out, but can’t

All the exits are blocked off, so she’s gotta duel him

THEY START

GHOST GIRL TAKES FIRST TURN

SUMMONS A 1600 ATK MONSTER

SETS A FACEDOWN

AND ANOTHER

BACK TO LAYNAKER, HE’S STILL RUNNING FROM THE MONSTER

THE FUCK IS THAT THING

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, THAT’S A WRAP

Preview time!

PLAYMAKER’S STILL ON THE RUN

GG AND REV CONTINUE THEIR DUEL

SHOICHI WATCHES ON

AND THAT’S IT

*forms a prayer circle for Ghost Girl*