#already on like. 100 health or something instead of the one that had half. the disappointment hit me only when i clicked the final card

[fishareglorious]

didn't get to finish uttu stage 18😔. Always kept hitting the 15 round mark and couldn't deal enough damage to kill the bajiliion enemies and their heal mechanic when one of them dies did not help. spent the last 10 cards and didn't get a gold centurion one which. sucks.

[safetyobstacles]

starting o segredo na floresta now, im either gonna finish this in a week or its gonna take months good luck me

update - i love joui

joui, its a little cloudy out, roll for sanity. joe, you stubbed your toe, roll sanity. joui did you just frown???????? roll a sanity test with disadvantage. that was cool joui, you gain 1 sanity. just kidding somewhere in the netherlands a child tripped and scraped their knee, you lose 10 sanity.

i think im going to put my updates under the cut instead of spamming posts B) beware of spoil

UPDATE

if cellbit takes liz or thiago from me ill never forgive him

this bar has to be its own paranormal entity, thiago would have died if the gun had a bullet in it and cristopher nearly got knifed to death in their first fight loll

EP 2

npc thiago about to be the most useless mf ever i swear if he dies to a stray ant or something ill cry just put him in a box for safe keeping

what would i do without the mental image of joui dropkicking every monster he sees

liz why are you finger painting with the ooze monsters remains and why did it give you 1 hp ?????? NEVERMIND

EP 3

RACCOON bro has 8 health but he sure is happy

faz um teste de sanidade

when i said thiago was gonna die to an ant i didnt actually mean kill him with giant spiders

cristopher no please dont climb a tree these are spiders they can climb nah bro cristopher is dead af im gonna miss him. bro cellbit just kill him already bros dead 2 hp

damn

ep 4

at this rate luba doesnt even need to roll sanity we all know hes gonna fail anyways joui's having the worst two days of his life

jesus christ i just woke up i cant handle this shit cesar's punching a hole in my itty bitty heart bones

please stop talking about leticio's cacetinho

EP 5 how long is too long for a tumblr post btw

the starting soon screen replaced cris with arthur notlikethis

cellbit is far too happy about them going to this house i hate it i hate it

i would like for them to leave a casa now :))) they got gregório time to go :) DAMN JOUI JUST GOT STEAMROLLED BY THAT ZOMBIE ROLLED A 99 VS CELLS 1 jesus christ thiago LOL NO WAY GREGÓRIO IS DEAD AF bro was just taking a nap in the car and this is what he gets

that was horribly stressful its 3 am how am i supposed to sleep after that

to be fair, if i was rodolfo and liz didnt use the tazer, i would have just dragged gregório in front of arthur and killed him in right in front of his face soo...

ROLLED 100 LOOOOOOOOOOOOL a caverna

COOL GUY ALERT HOPE HE DOESNT KILL BRULIO HAHAhahaaa

EP 6 I HAVE GREAT ANXIETY THIS MESTRE GUY IS ABOUT TO KILL HALF THE SQUAD

luba i know youve been rolling absolute dog shit the last 5 episodes but this one really counts buddy brulio :(

most stressful hour of youtube ive ever sat through i cant believe they all lived

A PORTA FORTE

EP 7 im so glad they're going back to the house im so happy ive never wanted anything else this is great nothing could go wrong in this house nothing

7 episodes in and ive just now realised that he keeps talking about circles and spirals and those have significance with a certain element and now i want them to leave carpazinha go back home forget this ever happened

undressing with the homies in the haunted basement next to a dead old man

not thiago canonically talking to a bookshelf after complaining about joui's whispering to his shotgun

THIS GRAVE IS SO COMPLICATEDDDD I BET ITS FUCKING EMPTY THEYRE ARGUING ABOUT HOW TO "knock out" AN OLD LADY AND ITS PROBABLY JUST WORMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GRAVEEE

this whole graveyard scene has me in tears thiago staring at nothing while they try to get him to unmute, old guy on the phone, joui picking up the old lady i just laughed so hard i feel ill

the one time joui doesnt fail a roll he loses 6 SANITY?? 8 SANITY?????????????? SENHORA VOCE TA BEM????? YOU JUST CHOKED HER OUT JOUI WAIT SHES GONNA DIE??????????? SHES GOING TO DIE???????????? THE GASOLINE IN THE MOUTH??

grounded from the shotgun for 1 week

EP 8

Thiago's pants are still fucked up from last episode btw

about to have a tpk over alchohol poisoning

if cesar survives this campaign hes gonna put as many points possible into forgery

a caverna im goign fuckign crazy the god of tdeath pr spomething is in this cave theyre gonna walk inside trip on a pebble and get eaten by hundreds of tiny cave beetles

Victor is absolutely about to get his face eated by a spider and/or be swallowed by the cave

ok but santo berço looks kinda cool like i would live there

EP 9 he just (re?)released osnf merch but i refuse to be spoiled by absolutely anything ive done so well i will not be tainted by cesar's really cool green on black long sleeve

wait i love the gatekeeper its a shame this town is probably a hallucination and theyre all actually slowly dying in the middle of the forest GIANT COWS I LOVE THE GIANT COWS WITH REGULAR SIZED HEADS

????????????????????????????????FELPS??????????????????????

buttery butter

thiago this is why you should have quit smoking

?????FELPS?????????

EP 10 so if thiago hadnt used the lighter would felps still be alive, probably just would have died later B)

bro joui has got to buy new dice this is crazy

this is gonna be the average 2 star motel experience BRO JUST DABBED ON CESAR liz is about to get bodied by the hallway ghosts this is just like a regular motel HUH UHHHHHHH

no joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy

mom i want to go home i dont want to stay in santo berço anymore jesus christ

EP 11 how am i supposed to just start the next episode after that i think the mental image of brulio beating arthurs skull in is burned into my brain space

sandwich sandwich

i love the giant cows so much i want one GIANT CHICKEN LAY GIANT EGG I LOVE THE GIANT CHICKEN intimidating the human sized pig

EP 12 still thinking about how cellbit thought new zealand was so close to europe, he was so sure of it that he was making me unsure of where i knew new zealand was

both times thiago was played by cellbit some horrific shit happened so with arthur being an npc this episode im prepared for the worst also this starting soon screen is fucking wicked

are you telling me joui's max sanity is now 12 bros been losing it for so long hes stuck like this joui is the "damn, you live like this?" meme

CELLBO ROLEPLAYED TOO HARD HIS HEADSET JOINED AS AN ENEMY AND BEAT HIS SETUP

"that sounds like a book title" bro let the intrusive thought win

baby nidere

no way the cow has been suffering this whole time ill cry

theyre about to rp their way into an angry medieval mob when they get found with the body of the dead gatekeeper B) does santo berço have dungeons, bc if they do thats where theyll be sleeping tonight nvm the gatekeeper has demons inside him sorry joui HUh no way they killed the gatekeeper dude wtf

EP 13 chat's a bit excited to go in the cave guys if anyone reads this what am i supposed to do once i finish this season. what do you mean i just have to go onto desconjuração. what do you mean i have to leave this story behind. please let me keep all the characters in this one.

THE CAVE MAP IS COOOOOOL THE LIGHT MOVES WITH THE MINER everyone struggling to flip their characters 5 mins into the cave made me laugh so hard i had to pause to breathe

I LOVE MOLES DUDE THEYRE SO COOL ok but i dont love this many moles BRO I LOVE MOTHS TOO THIS IS AWESOME wait no i hate bats THIS MOTH IS SUFFERINGGGGG

THE SUCC hes about to kill them all with the Succ out of spite thiago never mock one of cellbit's monsters again ARTHUR ZIUM

door door door door door door door door door door the gatekeeper is alive???

ih arthur nah dude let go of cesar :(((((((((((( gotta hand it to arthur hes survived two of these situations now get it, hand it to him, CAUSE HE LOST HIS FUCKING ARM WTF HIS ARM DETATCH LIKE A LEGO sorry i vote we still kill the gatekeeper just in case just to be safe

EP 14 did cellbit have a past traumatic experience with a vacuum is that why he created the Succ

agatha?????? bro agatha's life sucked big pp

every time cellbit says hes excited for something i grow more afraid

if they kill and eat the gatekeeper would he also taste delicious just wondering

i think i might know the reason why 12 sanity joui has a funky grey form but 55 sanity thiago doesnt, but maybe im crazy nevermind thiago had the funky grey within him this whole time wait does that mean hes gonna die if santo berço dies DAMN

joui just really wants to see thiago naked also hes just blatantly stealing arthur's knife he really is losing all his sanity that was possibly the most unconvincing "nada" ive ever heard

EP 15 before i start a new episode i always go to the vod on twitch and watch the memes first so i can go "hehe" for five minutes, and then go "oh no" for the next 4 hours

hypothetically, if joui managed to get the symbol on him before anyone noticed would he have just lost all 12 of his sanity and gone mad cuz that would have been crazy :,)

this is it cellbit is finally going to kill npc thiago joui is so very happy about his shotgun i thought maybe he was getting better but hes whispering to it again

alright whats up with cellbit and the outwards opening doors because i swear i have never seen a door that opens out instead of in, are all the doors like that in his home these doors are made to have creatures attack from inside ih i just checked like 3 times to make sure i was on the right episode lmaoooo

"pobre martha" DAAAAAAMN MARIANA ICE COLD

one buff woman vs all 3 equipe kelvin who will win (1 woman) crazy that equipe kelvin managed to accomplish what took our group 9 episodes to get to lool they even got the leticio cacetinho dlc, but they did skip the spider boss fight and the entire house level

THE BLACKSMITH IS MIGUEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EP 16 the joui, liz, and arthur cosplay look like theyre going to a nice dinner meanwhile thiago, kenan, and cesar just look homeless

idk if thiago's making it out of this one :,) maybe we just take thiago's weapons its not like he can do much to help anyways kenan wants to skin him listen brother i dont think thats gonna work im at the 52 min mark and cellbit is acting sus af the blacksmith is about to appear and stomp them all or something

joui would roll a 99 and nearly knife cesar and liz is trying so hard not to metagame her way to the explosive backpack loving how trigger happy joui is right now go on guys give him more explosives what the worst that could happen

is kenan also a wellspring do they have to kill him cuz thats gonna be kind of awkward and on that note since thiago has the symbol on him does that make him a wellspring too ill cry i will cry

NOT JOUI APOLOGIZING FOR LYING ABOUT HIS SAMURAI ANCESTRY

damn that scene between joui, liz, and thiago was the best in the entire season

i would like to take this moment before they all get swallowed alive by some horrible sludge tentacle monster to proclaim my absolute hatred of Santo Berço. I know i said at the end of episode 8 that i thought it looked cool but im over it ive moved past that point in my life i hate Santo Berço

BIG GOOEY MEATBALL

"the people are happy here!" says the blacksmith as he currently has 5 people forcefully locked up for decades that have gone mad with probably no way of ever regaining their sanity i just realised miguel and the old blacksmith fucked and had a kid

final boss aboutta come crawling out of the meatball please stop trying to skin thiago the symbol isnt gonna come off

THAT WAS SICK AF THEYRE ALL DEAD AS HELL

???????????????????? "kenan you have one last sane move before i take your character and throw him off a cliff"

:(

post i made after i finished osnf (made like 3 days later because i was so so so so so so so so so so sad)

https://www.tumblr.com/safetyobstacles/739056899257942016/i-finished-osnf-after-almost-2-months-and-you-know?source=share

[mamabearwonders]

So my brain is very much due everything at once or nothing at all. So my depop shop is both at my place and my parents place. I thought I had everything organized up there, but they can't find like 6 packages.

But I've finally been seriously tackling my depression room. So I wanted to take care of that and my parents and I don't get along so I haven't had the energy to go up there. But I have some extra spoons today that will probably turn into knives at the end of the weekend and then I'll need like a week to recover.

But I could have had a roadblock with my depression room because I'm just focusing on like stressing about the packages. Probably half of them have been canceled at this point and I feel bad.

Not to brag, but I'm just proud of it. Like a year ago I was like shipping out packages like every day. I had great reviews. And it's just like I keep trying to revamp my shop and just the mental health issues be issuing.

It's frustrating. Because even back then I was struggling, but now it's like I can't even be at that point anymore and I'm hoping i'll bounce back. If I had a mentally stable brain I could probably be making this side hustle work.

I feel bad for the customers. I'm trying and I do my best to communicate. But anyway I took pictures of at least 100, 150 pictures of items here and measurements. Of my best items. So I'm good.

I can list them while I'm up at my parents. But I still have like really good items up there I haven't listed yet so I'm going to go take care of those. I already have a bunch of pictures on my phone of stuff at my parents that I just didn't write the sizes down for. Thank hod most of that stuff doesn't need measurements because it's modern clothing. Vintage needs measurements because it's a different system.

I'm going to take the energy I have and invest it somewhere else. Because my depression room I've been trying to get it done in like one or two weekends and it's just not getting done. It's making progress, but it's not realistic to clean a Year's worth of depression in like that sort of time.

So I'm going to take a little bus ride to my parents would drive me, but again we don't really get along. I'll be okay for like a few nights. It's like 2 hours to get up there. It's chill. It's a chill ride. And I'll stop at McDonald's before I go up there which is a few blocks from their house.

Plus I'm running out of groceries and my parents provide groceries at the moment. And I don't want to fall into a cycle of like just buying fast food everyday which is comfort food I want it to be like a treat like once a week or something and not fall into that cycle.

And then that leads me to also going to the thrift store like every single day instead of just listing what I have.

So let's do this! I'll probably bribe my parents get Chinese food because there's a really good fried rice place up near my parents. I've been craving Chinese food. 🥳

[littlebigmouse]

TMA MAG 60

A story about paranoia as Jon's own paranoia culminates - shit is about to go down.

.... Is what I thought and instead everyone had a healthy and adult discussion about their feelings, information is freely given, Jon admits he has treated his coworkers unfairly and promises to cool it, now convinced someone from outside or whatever is in the tunnels must have murdered Gertrude.

Huh.

Anyone else thing the statements these days show a sort of worst-case-slippery-slope Jon could be going down if he keeps it up, but because he still has friends, he JUST manages to avoid that same fate - for now anyway?

I say for now because I would in fact pay good money for Jon to drive a van full of explosives into the Archive. Although Jon doesn't as much feel watched as he is the one watching everyone else (or both). Maybe Tim gets to blow up the archives. He deserves it.

This is the midpoint of the season. Technically, it's still possible the point of the first half of it was to show easily Jon's mental health can slip, the discord and distrust sawn between the coworkers is not going to go away and may be their fall in the season 2 finale where season 1 their quick thinking and team work saved them.

That being said, I will be disappointed if it turns out Gertrude "just" died by someone on the outside/a monster in the tunnels. I would feel like I wasted half a season if it turns out the guy who likes to stab people for fun and lives in the tunnels turns out to have murdered the corpse that was found shot ... in the tunnels. He may have something to do with it, but considering she had her own room and wasn't in the... tunnels tunnels, that doesn't seem to be his MO. Whatever.

And I'm confused about the Deus Ex CCTV tapes too. They should not be the easy fix they are. As far as I know, no one but Jon had attempted to search the tunnels below the archives, where Gertrude's body was found. Certainly no one from the police. Please correct me if I am wrong about that due to information that has been established in the past but I misremembered, btw, that would be very kind. But that means that there might be alternate entrance into the archives through the tunnels that our murderer could have used, that isn't necessarily covered by CCTV (or wasn't searched) because no one knew that place was an entrance to the archive. That means any and all of them could have done it still!

All this, of course, leads me back around to my original suspect list: Sasha and Elias. Not-Sasha wasn't around for the murder, and while I maintained she'd have her own subplot, it would be kind of cool to have the real Sasha turn out to be the killer. This would give her replacement, who already seems to have some complicated feelings about her own existence, an interesting conflict, especially in terms of hashing out her relationship to her coworkers, and their relationship towards both Sashas. It would also merge the two major plotthreads of the season in a really interesting way! While I do think Sasha was a bit... under-established for this to work 100%, this could still be fixed by eg the characters finding her again, or a statement given by her, or anything. I think I've mentioned it before, but Sasha's frustration over Jon getting the position as head archivist could have been partially due to the fact that she killed Gertrude to get it instead. (It's weird bc I'm pretty sure this was one of the first things we learned about Sasha, and yet it didn't inform her character much and was never brought up again, soo-). It was also fascinating that Michael initially sought her out to help the archive - maybe she knew more than she let on and her statement about that encounter wasn't entirely truthful either. I'm saying, given some more puzzle pieces, this is something that could make sense to me.

The other major suspect is Elias, who remained on the list exclusively because he keeps being brought up for seemingly no reason. UNTIL NOW. Because see, I noted how Elias remains a mystery. He's just kinda there. It's like the story is going out of its way to make him uninteresting and uninvolved, like they only needed a name to play authority in the archives for other characters to throw around, without getting his own part in the story. Which, I mean, they could have done that. I wouldn't be too happy about it, but in a show with such a limited cast, they simply cut off their losses earlier and decided to do nothing interesting with the GUY who RUNS the supernatural archive that's the center of some supernatural tuck of war - yeah okay they won't do that. (Even though I also apparently heavily overestimated the other side character's importance to the story, sooo)

So why.

Here's the thing. Elias says he's "partially to blame for [Jon's behaviour]" because he let it go on for so long. If he were a proper character, we'd get a hint of the regret he feels, maybe some inner conflict. Elias, sitting on the information that there are CCTV tapes the police are reviewing, which will come out any time soon, which should put everyone at ease. That he doesn't have to run an intervention, that Jon seems down but everyone is coping and the CCTV will clear it all up. But then it turns out he miscalculated, and Jon got way worse than he thought, and the CCTV is still fixing things but had Elias said something 20 episdes ago, everything would have gone way better. This is the second time that something major has happened that, had he been more involved, could have been prevented or at least prevented some damage. I know we haven't gotten that much on the other characters either, but at least something like that would have been HINTED by now, and be it by the voice acting.

Elias doesn't sound particularly remorseful when he says this. Elias is the only one who's emotions aren't running high in that scene. Elias was the only one who kept calm in the season 1 finale either, if I remember right. I think I theorized back than that it was the slightly overwhelmed detachement of it all. Elias isn't friends with any of these people, and Jon hasn't been stalking him, so why WOULD his emotions be running high during the intervention? So, of course, the question: Why isn't he closer to any of them? Why doesn't he solve their problems sooner, if he noticed them? If he didn't, doesn't that bother him? Why isn't he bothered by his team falling apart at the seams?

He could just be a shitty boss, in the way that some people don't notice things, like to keep to themselves and aren't fit to lead. But he said that he did notice, and we don't even get a hint of characterisation that implies that he feels conflicted about his lack of action and relationship to the others.

So here's my crowning conclusion:

Elias doesn't give a shit.

It's all work to him. Pure business. He joins the intervention slash disciplinary hearing (notice the phrasing!) because the others have asked him to. He's here to do his job, and as long as the car is running, that's all he cares about. It's not running well. Two tires are flat and the engine is making funky noises but it's running. Where is it going? That's the million dollar question, isn't it. But that doesn't matter, as long as they arrive.

Yeah, that makes him a shitty boss.

And more importantly, that makes him a murder suspect, if Gertrude was in any way a person who wanted to stop the car for a bit (be it to change a tire or blow it up, you decide).

That also makes him a potential danger in the future, if the characters ever act in a way that is not in the Archive's ... "best interest".

Also, you know, the CCTV footage showed Elias finding and reporting the blood the day of Gertrude's disappearance, he may as well have knocked her out, brought her to the tunnels, murdered her and returned to report her missing.

Man I hope I'm not tunneling here. Pun very much intended.

[retphienix]

Meh I cheated because I had a save state in the same room to retry infinitely and the thought of doing so became more and more appealing as I initially started redoing my team.

My team, by all accounts, could not do it. But. A single breeding session should have easily brought my team up about 150~ HP and then I'd have so much leeway it'd be a joke to win, so I thought "Do I really care enough about a game I think is "fine" to add like 5 hours of grinding in fast forward just to level to that point? Or should I spend like 10 minutes save stating until I win?" and here we are.

Smite me down and all that jazz, I simply don't mind lol

I came to this game with a specific interest and I fulfilled that interest, being a save state abuser during the Big Bad instead of grinding against metal slimes for a few hours just makes sense to me. I got what I came here for already :P

Anywho~

As it turns out his moveset is not half bad, and definitely screams "stat check" over most anything else.

He normal attacks Most of the time, for hefty damage that gets doubled the second he decides to cast twin hits.

Getting my increases off made it so he could no longer one shot me with a twin hits melee, so it became a speed check "Can I cast heal all before he double attacks someone" which wasn't "too" bad but speed is only a implication for this boss- he kinda just picks whatever time he wants to attack, sometimes he's first, sometimes he's last, so I couldn't really rely on this speed heal strat without save stating, which I already admitted I did.

Anyways- Normal attacks a lot, uses twin hits "randomly" (he can take multiple turns before using it and AFTER using it he will sometimes waste a turn re-casting when that does nothing).

He also casts venom gas randomly which is, for my team, vital I cure or he'll drop me to 1 shot range and take advantage of it, thankfully my team very rarely caught venom and never had more than 1 monster catch it at a time (no save state abuse involved there, just luck).

He ALSO casts Beat which is such a joke lol

He's just as inaccurate with it as you'd expect and never once landed it, so Beat rounds were freebies for me.

Overall his magic lineup didn't matter (he also cast Thordain once I think), it was JUST twin hits melees that were scary, so I pretty much just saved each round and if he decided to ignore speed and attack at the start of the round on the same mon he attacked last round, retry.

In truth it wasn't OBSCENE abuse, but buddy, when I say I save state abused, I mean it still lol because his moves were 100% random but he probably decided to double tap my team something like 30 times before I finally drained his immense 30k (I think it was) health pool.

Anywho! I wanna see dragonlord after these credits, then I'm good on this game~ I already said my piece at length during the first credits scene so I really only have passing thoughts on the orb quest to add once we get there.

[skeletoninthewaterfilter]

Looking back at my time in fast food and oh boy how much anger I felt once I started realizing how much they were fucking me over.

(rant below)

Starting after the Covid lockdown (in the U.S.) lifted I decided to get a job at a fast food place because I knew someone who worked there who could get me in and I could have a job, well they had me collecting cash and like fine at least I have a job.

So 8 months pass by and I think "huh I was promised a raise after 6 months of working" and so I talk to the GM about it and he's like ok sure I will get it to you as soon as you can and I look at it and see it was 25 cents. I'm thinking "oh not what I was expecting but I only do food prep, collect cash, and do dishes so whatever".

Then it's one hot day (~100 degrees) and there's no air conditioning and we were packed and it turned out that there was a tornado and I tell my boss "yeah no I want to be trained on something else now. It's way too hot with no air conditioning or anything" (if we wanted to cool off we used the walk in freezer) and he's like fine you can take orders up front and I'm so happy to escape what I called "back window hell" because it was either boiling or freezing (no in between) and the previous person on shift was so kind as to not do any dishes whatsoever and leave me with 3 sinks and 2 side counters full of dishes along with a stack of food to prep that was nearly half my size.

A couple months go by and I end up knowing almost every position available because they were short staffed and, mind you, I was being payed just a little over minimum wage, and at that point I'm picking up extra shifts and everything and one of my coworkers pointed out to me "hey you know theyre fucking you over right? you do a lot more and work more and what do you make?" and I'm like "huh yeah I make 8.75 it's not too bad I guess" and he's just like my guy youre being fucked over big time

Now when halloween time approaches I go to take off (or get a shorter shift if not the whole day) and I always got to leave early because my old GM knew it was my favorite holiday and I go up to the GM 2 weeks before halloween and ask "hey it's my favorite holiday and I would like to take off or if that's not possible then leave a bit early" and he tells me that he's not letting anyone off or leave early that day because it's the GMs choice and that I should be happy with a time and a half

Like no the fuck I wasn't working until midnight on halloween. I couldn't care less about time and a half I always left early. And at that point I already got hired somewhere else (I was trying to find a new job because that place was causing some mental health issues) and I submitted my notice 2 weeks before Halloween because I'd be damned if I was missing halloween for that. There was, however, a possibility that I could stay and work there after the 2 weeks was over, as long as I worked a shift at least once a month. Then, one shift, it was a rainstorm and about 50 degrees without wind (and rain) chill and they told me I was on back window even with the knowledge that I despised that position.

Now I'm generally not an angry person. But that final day, when i was standing with the freezing rain, a broken heater, and only steaming hot water for dethawing my freezing hands collecting cash for a person who was supposed to be training on that position was for some reason working the fryer because apparently they didn't know how to do both dishes and collecting cash, I was cold and furious and my managers knew it. About midway through my shift I actually snapped and told my manager I was done. As soon as my manager signed me off he said "I pissed you off didn't I?" and I really wanted to say "You really fucking did" but I didn't. I walked out instead without a word.

Man fast food sucked.

[lilyblackdrawside]

Okay I actually have some stuff to say about Evil Plume in terms of operator design. My intention was to just make her an absolute shithead operator. Incredibly annoying to use, with mechanics that are clunky and/or "gotchas" but with numbers so stupid, that you'll feel forced to use her. But in doing so, I've given her a bunch of mechanics that I think are actually good design without intending to do so. Mechanics that I've already considered to be good design, I just didn't consider them while making her. This relates mainly to how all of her skills need assistance from other operators to reach their full potential. I'll go over her whole kit and explain my thoughts behind each part. Long post.

So let's start with her base stats. She's frail as fuck. A max level Irene has 2935 health, 766 atk and 419 def (50 def from module), which is almost three times the health of Elume. It's a joke. 1226 health and 279 def are Plume's maximum health and def. In turn I just jacked up her attack stat. 908 atk with Trust and Potential, 961 with Module X, 978 with Module Y. You don't just hang out with 1k atk as a Swordmaster. Well, unless you're Elume. I didn't mess with the other stuff.

Talent 1: Wings & Sword There's not much to say about this. The Cost Increment part just means that instead of her cost going -> x1.5 -> x2 on repeated deploys, it goes -> x3 -> x6 and her potentials have no -dp on them (she has -redeploy time in those spots) so her cost goes 23, 69, 99. At full development, she goes down to 16s redeploy time.

Talent 2: Fickle I hate the design of this talent. A low-odds crit with an incredibly high damage multiplier is already no good, but then she just bypasses it anyway where relevant. I've also made it a point to word both halves of this talent terribly. Both of these wordings exist on crits that operators have and neither are intuitive. The first half triples her actual attack stat on crit, the second half has her attack deal 160% damage. "when not dealing physical damage" is also awful wording, though it doesn't exist in the game and just refers to the true damage portions of her skills. Those are guaranteed to crit.

I don't like it when they do that. This isn't even the worst version of that. Schwarz has a crit talent that she modifies with her skills all the way since release, but there are some upcoming operators who have crits that enable relevant mechanics of their kits, but instead of having to rely on random chance, their relevant skills just guarantee it. Usually operators who rely on a debuff to make their kits work, have it on their skills, not passively. Imagine if Ho'olheyak had a passive 15% chance to levitate enemies and her S1 and S3 made it 100%. Or Kjera with Freeze and Erato with Sleep.

Elume's basic crit is kinda shit too. The 200% is bait, it's on average a 21% damage increase that doesn't positively scale with outside buffs. The True Damage crit is a proper 60% damage boost of course. Physical damage does prefer having single high hits over many small ones, but relying on a 7% crit chance just isn't it. Unless you're Conviction. It's funny when they do it.

Skill 1: Triple Strike This one's pretty obvious. Offensive Recovery, Auto activation, holds 3 charges, rewards you for successive uses. Good joke, well done. Here have some backpats. She needs SP support for this one. Be it something simple as having Ch'en on field for passive charge or a more complicated Warfarin setup while keeping enemies away from her until she's ready. The "funny" part is that this skill doesn't have a multiplier cap. If you set her down at the start of the map and delicately keep having her use this skill, she will gain a higher multiplier each time. This one is pretty much just a joke, but my incidental "needs support to work properly" theme is already coming through here. At base it's a 2sp skill that deals 495% damage, so even without any multipliers it's like fine. Just saying that sounds outrageous, cause that a higher-powered S1 than Irene's at a lower cost and that's its worst performance, but this is the world we'll be living in.

Skill 2: Backstab She hits the target 8 times with weaker slashes, then 1 time with a stronger one that debilitates the target and then with 9 more weaker slashes. The skill costs 300 sp and has 300 initial sp at M3. I could've made it an on-deploy skill instead, but that wouldn't be as funny and would also be worse. This way she can hang out on field and stab people before committing. Naturally you have to redeploy her for this to work properly. As I've stated, she goes down to 16s cooldown and her cost is 23/69/99, so you better have some Vanguards to support this kind of extravagant lifestyle. This alone already makes me like the skill, but then it has another property that requires support. The total damage of this skill is 3308% atk with Module X (which is the one you'll be using it with)coming of her monstrous attack stat, but it has the highest hit-count of any of the "big nuke swordmaster" skills, so it falls off hard on higher defense. Each of the weaker slashes will deal 1660 damage, which is a lot but you know how it is. But Elume has a solution to that! Bring her together with a Ritualist and the the last 10 slashes are True damage! Bring her with a Ritualist and Pramanix and the whole thing is! Nothing can go wrong with a ~32k damage true damage full aoe (it's full aoe by the way) nuke on a 16s cooldown. Exaggerated numbers aside, I genuinely do think that powerful operators should require some kind of synergy to bring out their full potential through some sort of condition(s) on their skills. It's not even like this isn't already a thing that we have ingame, just look at Diamante. Half of his S2 doesn't work if he's alone. They did it with him cause he's not powerful, so it's fine if he's clunky. No Primal Caster will ever be a worldbreaker meta unit because you can't just throw them at the enemy by themself and watch them solve every problem by the nature of their design. (cynicism) Elume brings two debuffs by herself for the latter half of this skill, so getting most of the true damage is easy enough, but for full power she also needs DP support and another debuffer. The range is backwards by the way. I felt like that was obvious from how I depicted the layout, but it's not called Backstab for nothing. That's the gotcha. You have to point her away from which side of the map you want her to annihilate.

Skill 3: Simple Beat There's not much to say about this skill, it's pretty straightforward. What probably doesn't come through in its description is that execution-wise, she strikes each ring of range after the other, from inside to outside. This one isn't so much a single-target nuke as it is a map nuke. The catch is that the range is awkward, with its gaps and she can't hit enemies she's attacking with it, but in turn the range is incredibly wide. Grounding is a debuff that knocks flying enemies to the ground and inflicts Slow on them for its duration. Think of it as the opposite of Levitate. Levitated targets will also be slammed down, think of it like Chongyue's S2. This is her most self-sufficient skill, but even this one benefits from other people supporting her through the extra Grounding damage, which can be forced by levitating enemies. This skill will be pretty fun to plan around with, as Elume can use it to assist far-away allies if you plan your positioning well. This one works with either module. Honestly, her Module Y just isn't that good, simply by the nature of the Swordmaster X one having the far superiour base effect always.

Speaking of Modules:

Nothing to say about X in particular, but both modules have their stat gains backloaded because that's just terrible design. That's all. There's no trick here, it's just bad.

Module Y is the better one for S1 if you like to gamble crits, otherwise X is still superiour even there. It does have some merit for S2 though, if you can believe it. Pushing the True Crit damage from 160% to 177% is just higher than the x1.1 damage from X's base effect and the slightly higher attack boost comes out as giving it more damage. Of course you're losing out on the reduced redeploy time (41s instead of 16s), but if you don't want to commit to her atrocious DP game, you can use this and support only her True Damage conditions instead. For the most part you just want Module X though. Like I said, hard to make Y attractive.

I had some fun with the unlock trials for both modules though:

Module X wants you to clear 5 battles where you deploy Elume at least 6 times each to prepare you for that Every Standardbearer lifestyle and the other trial on that one is to clear Main Theme 9-19 with Elume defeating every enemy. No finesse behind this one, just a stupid trial to clear.

Module Y does have some finesse though! The second trial is to clear DV-S-2 while not letting Dorothy defeat any enemies. This is a 0 cost stage with a bunch of operators predeployed, Dorothy included, so you can't retreat her and she's also not going to get killed. You just have to be mean and KS her the entire stage. It's very in the spirit of Elume. The first trial is to clear a total of 7 battles where you deploy Elume and have her defeat at least 7 enemies each time. Elume must be a Support Unit.

I didn't list her base skills in the artwork cause I ran out of space. It's another one of those that give a huge boost to S3 mastery, but hers isn't a measly +100% total, she gets 110% total! The downside skill is that she gets +1 Morale drain, just like all of these, and the Trainee suffers +5 Morale drain. 0 Morale operators can be trained just fine, but they'll give you the "Someone's tired" notification on the Base. At +5 it'll take just under 5 hours to completely drain them, so if you've Irene'd the S3 mastery, you'll only have to deal with it for roughly 55 minutes.

And that's that. I don't know why I did this. "Evil Plume" just popped into my head one day, I sketched her, had a bit of a laugh, kept rolling her around in my head, made a kit for her, fully drew her, wrote an entire profile and voice lines for her (which hurt my soul because I based them on Plume's but twisted and corrupted them) and now there's a complete Evil Plume.

Oh well.

225 - Evil Plume

[missvelvetsstuff]

Cold Hearted

Steve Rogers x Reader, Steve Rogers x Sharon Carter, Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff, Bucky x Reader X Natasha(past) Reader x ????

Chapter 7

Warnings: swearing, angst, SMUT SMUT SMUT NO ONE UNDER 18, threesome, fmf

SERIOUSLY SMUT! You've BEEN WARNED.

Notes: I like how this came out. I'm bisexual and don't see enough fmf in mcu fanfiction, it's always mfm which is cool, been there but I love the contrast and softness with women. It's been awhile since I've been with a woman so I hope it is realistic. I just hope it doesn't suck. Let me know what you think but if it sucks please be gentle.

After the meeting with Gen Ross, things settled down to a strange calm. Steve submitted his resignation, effective in 30 days so he had time to settle whatever he was working on. He wasn't really working on anything but Gen Ross allowed it so Steve could save face like he wasn't being forced out. Steve and Sharon spent most of their time preparing the brownstone in Brooklyn that was bought for them but slept at the compound while the work was being done.

Of course Tony was planning a retirement party for Steve, 40s themed and not too big which for Tony meant less than 100 guests. Another empty gesture to help Steve save face. The team would be fine if Steve just left, not particularly caring about Steve's image but agreed to go along with it.

Two weeks later BB was feeling sad and out of sorts. She knew why when she looked at her calendar when she woke up this morning.

Today was supposed to be her wedding day. Instead it was a regular day with training and meals with the team. She begged off of training, needing a mental health day. Bucky was working with recruits so BB and Nat spent the day cuddling in bed, watching the cheesiest horror movies they could find and ordered food so BB didn't have to face anyone.

BB had her head on Nats breasts and had to hold herself back from playing with them thru the T shirt Nat was wearing. She wanted to mouth at Nats nipples, she was always so sensitive and tasted so good. BB could smell Nats pussy and her mouth was watering, her heart started racing and she picked her head up to look at Nat. She was so beautiful with her hair down and no make up.

BB leaned towards Nat "Sweet Natalia, is this ok? Can I kiss you? Can I taste you?

Nat nodded and BB could see the want in her eyes. BB kissed her softly, Nat moaned and in response BB slid her tongue into Nats mouth and moaned at her taste. "Natalia" she panted "I need you, please let me make you feel good."

Nat nodded and BB started kissing her way down Nats torso making sure to pay special attention to her nipples, suckling and nibbling until Nat arched off of the bed in need. BB giggled and continued her slow descent.

Bucky was sweaty and exhausted after training and decided to take a shower in the locker room before he went home to his girls. His girls, he liked the sound of that. Nat and him had been gently courting BB, not wanting her to feel any pressure, and BB had been spending most of her spare time in their room, including nights. They were all sleeping better for it.

He entered their quarters and noticed all but one light was off. 'It's too early for Nat to go to bed' he thought. Then he heard something, a breathy moan, and grinned wickedly.

"Natalia" he sang out "Are you playing with your toys? You know you are supposed to wait for me. I'll have to punish you" he could smell her arousal all through the suite, toys don't usually get her this worked up.

"You better shut that toy off and take it away from my pussy before I-" he stopped at the bedroom door and groaned, mouth open and cock already half hard. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"Gorgeous" he whispered.

Spread out on his bed was Nat, hair mussed, eyes hooded, shirt pushed up over her breasts which were covered with little bite marks. BB had her face buried between Nats legs, bare ass up in the air, thighs wet with her slick and her pussy dripping onto the bed. He just stood there for a minute, not wanting to interrupt the moment but dying to join in. They were so wrapped up in each other they didn't hear him come in.

He could hear Nats breathing quicken and her legs shaking and was torn between watching her cum all over BBs face or stopping them and edging her for starting without him. He chose the former figuring it had been many years and they both deserved the release. He pulled his fully hard and throbbing cock out of his pants and started slowly stroking it to the rhythm of BBs fingers fucking into Nats drenched pussy. BB moaned and Nat was done, she screamed as she covered BBs face and tits with her release.

Bucky quickly stripped then approached the bed holding his cock in his vibranium hand. He grabbed BBs hair with his flesh hand, pulling her up to face him. Her eyes were glazed and she had a small grin on her face.

"BB!"

"Yes Sargeant."

"How many times did you make Natalia cum?"

"Only 3 Sir"

"Can I join you?"

BB smiled "Yes Sir"

Bucky pulled her towards him and gave her a sloppy wet kiss, moaning because he could taste Nat on BBs tongue. When he was done he pushed her face back into Nats pussy and started rubbing her ass, giving it a couple of hard slaps making BB squeal. He groaned when he reached BBs slit. She was drenched.

"Is that all for me BB or is it from eating Natalias sweet cunt?"

BB nodded and moaned, having already brought Nat to the edge of an orgasm, then pulled away. Nat groaned at the loss until she realized Bucky had joined them and they both waited for him to tell them what he wanted.

"BB, I'm going to fuck this pretty pussy and you will keep eating Nats pussy. You have to make her keep cumming until I do. At least three more. Ok?"

BB moaned out "Yes Sir"

Bucky ran his painfully hard cock along her slit, covering himself in her slick and bumping into her swollen clit repeatedly. He brought his fingers up to his mouth and groaned at BBs taste.

BB dove back into Nats pussy, licking her clit, tongue flat and making sure to catch the sweetness that drooled out of her hole that was twitching with a need to be filled. She slid two fingers into Nat and growled when Bucky started slowly sliding into her, the stretch intense but so welcome. Bucky yelped when he was fully seeded inside her, enjoying the tight, wet, heat of her. He stilled for a moment to let her get used to him.

"Jesus BB, I could cum right now and fill you up. You feel so good, so tight and wet. I've missed you BB, missed this sweet pussy. We both have. Fuck doll. I don't know how long I'll last this time."

Nat just groaned and babbled, long past the point of making sense just enjoying BBs hot tongue devouring her as she felt another orgasm building.

"BB!"

"Yes Sargeant?" She mumbled into Nats pussy.

"Is Natalia going to cum again?"

BB moaned "Yes Sir"

"Fuck her harder, add another finger"

BB complied and Nat whined "Please BB, I, I c can't"

Bucky tutted at her "You will take what you are given Natalia. Now cum for me, shower BB."

"BB, don't you dare waste a drop of her precious cum. Drink her down"

BB nodded and hummed which sent Nat over the edge again. BB groaned and licked up every drop.

Bucky started slowly fucking into BB, feeling every spot, pulling almost all the way out them slamming back into her. Going faster and harder with every thrust.

"I think this pussy missed me too BB, she keeps sucking me back in, grabbing my cock like she doesn't want to let go. I can feel she wants to cum but you have to wait."

BB groaned and fought to hold it in.

"You can do it BB, taking me so well and making Natalia feel so good. You are our missing piece and we'll never let you go again. Mine!" he slapped her ass "Ours!" he slapped the other cheek.

BB was struggling to keep from cumming, she was right there but didn't want to disappoint her Jamie, especially after all this time, she wanted to be his good girl.

Bucky knew it, could feel her body wind up "such a good girl, BB. So fucking good" Bucky threw his head back and thrust harder, deeper in places no one, not even Steve had been able to touch. She squealed and sucked harder on Nats clit until Nat came again squirting all over BB and soaking the bed.

Bucky praised them both "That's my good girls, my beautiful, perfect girls. Fuck you feel so good, I love you both so much." He reached around to rub BBs clit with his vibranium hand

"Cum for me BB" he growled "I'm cumming BB, drench my cock. I need to feel you milking me. Let go BB I've got you"

She felt the coil tighten until it snapped and she screamed into Nats pussy, pushing her over the edge too. Bucky grabbed her hips and slammed into her as deep as he could go and filled her until his cum was leaking out around his cock.

"Fuck! Yes! BB milking my cock, so good"

He pulled out slowly, still hard, and moved BB so she was lying on her back.

He gently grabbed Nats chin and kissed her deep and hard "You ok, baby? I hope you know we aren't even close to done. I need you to clean up my mess, see how it's dripping out of BBs pussy? Don't let any go to waste."

Nat smiled "Of course, my two favorite flavors" and Bucky helped her sit up and she leaned in to lick Bucky's cum out of BBs soaked cunt, making sure to go over her swollen clit. Bucky slapped her ass "Take good care of our BB"

Bucky moved towards BBs head, leaned down to kiss her, she moaned into his mouth as Nat brought her close to cumming again.

"Don't cum yet BB, you need to clean up your mess. I need to feel that mouth wrapped around my cock"

BB opened wide and he slowly slid into her mouth until he hit the back of her throat. "Fuck, this mouth is almost as good as your pussy BB. Right Natalia?"

Nat moaned in agreement and slid two fingers into BB, suckling on her clit until she could feel BB was ready to cum. BB started whining, looking up at Bucky through her lashes and he almost came again but held it back. He started roughly fucking her face.

"You need to cum BB? I want you to cum all over Natalia. Show her how good she makes you feel baby. Let go."

BBs orgasm hit her from out of nowhere and she shook and whimpered while she soaked Nat.

"Good girl, such a good girl BB. I'm gonna cum now and you better swallow it all like a good girl. Fuck! Fuck! Jesus!" he shouted and came down her throat.

All three collapsed in a pile, taking a moment to breathe and get a drink of water before they continued.

BB sat up "Alright Sargeant, now it's your turn. Lay down flat on your back. Natalia, go sit on his face" they both obliged, loving how the dynamic between the three of them could change a number of times during one session. Bucky loved to be in control but sometimes he got just as turned on being controlled. He would only ever submit with Nat and BB because he knew he could trust them completely and they would never hurt him. At least not in a bad way.

Nat hovered above Bucky's face, pussy dripping on him and he groaned "What have I told you about hovering Natalia?" He smacked her ass with his vibranium hand and pulled her down so he was almost drowning in her. What a way to go.

BB just watched for a minute until Bucky was completely lost devouring Nat then carefully straddled him and grabbed his cock to line up with her slit. She slowly slid down until he was filling her up and he groaned, bucking up into her.

BB sat down on him hard and pinched his thigh "I didn't tell you to move. Stay still Sargeant and take what I give you or you don't get to cum." She ground against him rubbing her clit on his pubic bone, rolling her hips and whining at the feeling.

"Are you my good boy Jamie? Making us feel so good. Does he feel good Natalia?"

Nat moaned and smiled at BB. Besides the physical pleasure this felt so right, so perfect. She leaned forward and kissed BB, hot and dirty, her tongue licking at the roof of BBs mouth which still tasted like her.

Bucky was eating her so well, finding all of her spots and she felt ready to explode "Fuck! BB he's so good. Please can I cum"

When he heard that Bucky intensified his efforts, desperate to taste her cum, to feel her twitching and throbbing on his tongue.

BB pinched Nats nipples "Cum Natalia. Give him everything" and that's all it took. Nat squirted on Bucky's face and he slurped up every last drop. Nat almost fell off of him, legs turned to Jello and trying to catch her breath.

BB slowly rode Bucky sliding up and down his cock, swiveling her hips until she was close to cumming again.

"Jamie baby, you ready to fill me up again? I can feel your cock throbbing and twitching, so hard. Fuck baby, I'm gonna cum again. Cum with me Jamie, please baby, I need it so bad" and they both fell over the edge.

The three of them just laid spread out on the bed catching their breath until Bucky got up and went to the bathroom to grab a towel to clean them up. When he went back into the bedroom he saw that BB and Nat had moved a bit so they were touching, this time Nat had her head on BBs breasts.

Bucky stopped to stare at his perfect girls, he would do anything for both of these women who had stolen his heart back when he thought it was dead, when they all lived in Hell and only had each other for comfort. He gently cleaned them both up and sat against the headboard, satisfied and content but always up for more of his girls.

At dinner that night the trio's absence was noticed. Especially by Steve, he remembered what today was supposed to be, everyone did but they all danced around it and no one had dared mention it to BB.

Sam and Tony were exchanging sly looks and grinning, having assumed correctly that the missing trio were too wrapped up in each other to put on clothes and be sociable.

Sam slipped Tony a $20 "thought they would take longer to get nasty" he shrugged.

Wanda smiled a wry smile "They all wanted it but were hesitant due to recent events."

Sharon scoffed "What's with the speaking in code? Where is everyone? Kinda quiet tonite."

Steve sighed.

Wanda gave her a dirty look. "Nothing to concern yourself with. Won't you two be moving soon?" And turned to talk to Tony, tuning out Sharon.

After ordering food and eating enough for a small army Bucky, Nat and BB slept better than any of them had in ages, finally feeling like they found home.

@vicmc624

Chapter 8

[its-snicket-here]

Being sister of Ainz?? *Whisper from the dark corner*

*Whispers from the deep abyss of personal drafts* Hell fucking yeah

----------------------

Due to you being much more younger and more prone to gaming. I can see your character to have more of a monstrous form than a humanly look.

Ainz can now rest on having to spend money on your account, due to you doing multiple side jobs. Though, that doesn't let you escape of sharing your half of rent.

Your character is a demon; clad in a tattered yellow cloak with the hood always up, blocking any prying eyes from seeing your face. What it only peaks out is grey hair. Though the sleeve aren't long enough to cover your bandaged and shackled arms. In an ombre fashion, the arms are shown to go from black to blood red at the finger tips.

Though when unhooded, it's shown that your face is also pitch black. Your mouth is replaced with something more inhumane, having no teeth nor anything. Though it's capable of breaking and tearing through anything with such animalistic powers. Strange red substances dribble out, though nobody dares to try even touching it.

Your eyes is blindfolded, though when unraveled, it shows only a void where the sockets are. All oozing the same red substance that dribbles from the mouth. You have a long black tongue that oozes a stank smell when activated for fighting.

Your chest had an open hole, where your ribcage pops out in the flesh and where your spine could be shown. Where the heart is supposed to be lies a giant plasma ball. Though like Ainz's, it's indestructible.

Like the mom, you and Ainz have special perks when you have family members joining in the game. Unlike mother's rage, the two of you have now gained "Sibling's Rivalry."

When the two of you were transported into the new world, instead of spawning inside the Tomb with Ainz. You were spawned inside a cave, deep inside the forest where Hamsuke was at.

It took you a little while to get out of there, but you did it.

But it did took you long time getting your sense of perception because your sight has been replaced black and white outlines. You were tripping over multiple shit in the cave and the forest: trees, rocks, a lizard, a corpse, you name it. You were tripping everywhere.

Though despite your struggle of having a different sense of perception. You were able to detect life sources somewhere, but couldn't exactly pinpoint the direction it was coming from.

So, it caught you off guard when you "see" a giant hamster right in front of you doing a piss ass job of threatening you.

Thus the hilarity ensued when you activated your intimidation skill on Hamsuke.

So, you have now a hamster ride and a new roommate to sleep with. Though, you do enjoy the furry rat hamster's company. At least she'll be your guide around the forest.

Thus the two of you were dubbed the "The Wise King of the Forest" and "The Demonic Puppet," much to your annoyance. You're not a damn puppet that's for sure.

When Ainz heard about you and Hamsuke in the forest, he was highly interested in you. Rumors had it you were the supposed puppet/rider of "The Wise King of the Forest." So of course he wanted to either recruit you or to at least collect you like he was planning to do for Gazef

It was surprise when he finally noticed that it was his sister that was labeled as "The Demonic Puppet," but is relieved that he isn't lonely now

Breathes

That doesn't escape the fact you're now a gremlin

Might as well make you the prankster demon, because you do a shit ton of light hearted tricks

The classic plastic wrap on the doorways, replacing bombs with glitter dust, making swords break at the first contact before reconnecting all together again, toothpaste filling in Oreos/pastries, you get the drill.

Demiurge wants to experiment and study your red ooze that drips out and see its effect. You have now gained Demiurge's interest on studying you, especially your reasons to be shackled.

I would say that you're aren't specifically in the guide but is considered to be because of your connection and how frequently you've visit the guide.

Though, you can't gain a human look no matter how hard you can transform

As if you can actually transform lmaooooo

So, you are forced to wear a mask and lots of long sleeved shirts, bandages, long pants, your coat, and/or dresses when you go outside with Ainz and Nabe in E-Rantel. Though you can't seem to take off your shackles off you.

I can see you and Evileye being acquaintances in heroes term. Other than that, she sees you as a gateway on trying to hook up with Ainz/Momonga and an interesting person. A strong mage always hiding behind a mask like her.

Though unlike cosmic demon eldritch mama, you don't gain a following. The last thing you want is idiots trying to summon you, despite saying a very hard no on accepting their praises and begging.

There is times where you go onto a blood frenzy uncontrollably out of the blue that Ainz had to put Demiurge and Cocytus in charge in containing your blood frenzy. If it goes out of control, then Ainz would reluctantly WILL and HAVE to put you out for himself.

So when the war happened between the two kingdoms, when Ainz was making everyone thinking he was an actual fucking monster. They all should be fearing you. You. Go. Nuts. With. Full. Intent. of. Excitement. For. Blood. And. Fear.

Before the whole war even happened, you and Demiurge were setting up the battlefield with traps, hidden demons/beasts, hiding poison containers somewhere in the water supply that will open at a specific time, portals from hell, etc. You are on full intent of destroying the kingdom with all of your might.

Just hope they don't get inside [Death's Parade] ok? :)

-------

[Sibling's Rivalry] - Due to you having a connection with another player via email/phone number confirmation, you and your connector have now gained a new skill set [Sibling's Rivalry]. When in a 40 meter radius with your sibling, you have now gained an increase of 125% ATK speed, 45% AGILITY, and a 200+ MP boost.

[Blood Lust] - Every physical kill increases your ATK power by +15%. Maximum is +150% for 15 minuets. Though when passive, when not killing, the player will have a meter that will slowly goes up until 100%. If any kills hasn't occur,

[Death's Parade] - One time use, afterwards you must rest until [Death's Parade] can be used again. Upon use, within 75 meter radius of the caster shall turn into an arena. Those who inside the radius can not escape nor those outside the radius can join in. Multiple demonic summons and undead summons shall appear and will fight to the death to the players that are trapped inside. The arena will stay on until either the caster's MP reaches to 1 or the players inside the arena is dead. 145% ATK speed, 65% spell power, 145% casting speed.

[F. E. A. R] - Fear Energy Acid Radiation. Those who are not immune to the fear energy radiation or has consumed fear acid would now experience a multitude of nightmares and hallucinations until they have escaped the radiation or after 2 hours if digested. It is possible to die from [F. E. A. R].

[Tier 1/2/3 intimidation] - Tier 1 effects low leveled beings through 1 - 25. Tier 2 effects mid level beings through 25 - 75. Tier 3 effects higher level beings through 75 - 100. When under the intimidation, they will be frozen in fear for 10 minuets. Though if using a higher level fear on a lower level being it can have a lasting effect until turned off.

[Blood Cult Garbs] - 'Worship is meaningless when given prayers and offerings. What THEY need is blood to be spilled, screams to be heard, flesh being wounded!' 195% spell power, 145% casting speed

[Sacrificial blade] - 'This is a gift from the Gods...' A blade that has already taken the lives of many unbelievers and its willingly followers. Though it has been unwashed over the years of use. 175% life leech, status: bleeding, status: hemorrhage, status: infected

[Status: Holy Imprisoned] - Due the angelic shackles containing your sins, you have been now suppressed of demonic urges and have now gained morality and emotions. Though the older the shackles are, the harder it will stop the demonic urges and sins seizing through. Every time a demonic ability/spell has been mustered, the host will go through intense pain that will take 25% of their health, but will never go down to 0. -250% holy damage resistance, demonic damage nullified, status: imprisoned, -110% casting speed [Holy Imprisoned is inflicted by Angelic species that is the same level or higher than the host. Can be effected again.]

[Orb of Trickery] - Due to you now infused with the orb, you are now able to cast illusion spells, psychic spells, and hypnotic spells much faster with 3x of the effect.

[articskele]

POSTS THAT MAKE ME CRAZYINSANE FOREVER OHHHHH MY GOD- AAAAAAAAAA >w<

THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I'VE HAD TO STOP READING JUST TO FLAP MY HANDS BC IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS. WE ARE COOKING!!!!!! WE'RE COOKING SO HARD RN :D AND DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR HOW LONG THIS IS I LOVE ITTTTTTTT

BESIDES MY RESPONSE IS SUPER LONG TOO- DO YOU LOVE THE COLOR OF THE THNEED KALSJFKLDSF

OHHH MY GOD YOU MAKE SUCH GOOD POINTS

YES that's the blueprint I was referring to!! And the way he labeled everything is sooo goofy I love ittt <3

As for food prep, thneed dough comes to mind? Like you could get it wet and knead it into a dough-like substance which makes it easier to work with in cooking and makes the texture smooth instead of fuzzy!!

I've always thought that anyone could use thneeds in cooking ouo. AND RESTAURANTS BUYING THNEEDS WHOLESALE AS INGREDIENTS IS SOOOO REAL

OMG AND THERE ARE DEFINITELY COOKBOOKS THAT ARE LIKE “100 WAYS TO COOK A THNEED”. ESPECIALLY WITH HOW IT DOESN'T HAVE MUCH TASTE ON ITS OWN AND CAN ABSORB FLAVORS AND ACT AS A BASE IT SERVES AS LIKE A VERSATILE STAPLE FOOD

Oh thneed cotton candy is DEFINITELY a thing- Since unprocessed tufts are so wispy I imagine you could just add flavoring and spin it into cotton candy without needing to knit it into a thneed first, since knitting it is what gives it the structure to function in most foods!!

OOH a really interesting idea is how tufts at different stages respond to water!!! I love the idea of a truffula tree's tufts getting all soggy in the rain and it droops a little from the weight aksfjd

Meanwhile tufts spun into something cotton candy esque actually dissolve in liquid! Those drinks that have cotton candy at the top where you pour something on it to make it dissolve and mix in with the rest of the drink comes to mind :D

And then knitted thneeds are great at absorbing liquid and flavors and all that, though kneading it into dough does make them more malleable!! Like you couldn't just cut a thneed in half or else it'll fray, but you can split up the dough just fine!

Also that "it'll cure those backache pains in your chest" line from the 1972 version makes me think of thneed food being advertised as good for your heart health?

YEESSSS TRUFFULA FRUITS ARE EVERYTHING TO ME. I NEED TO MAKE TRUFFULA FRUIT BAKED GOODS SO BADDDDD. I can just smell the fruit filling bubbling in a pot and that rich red-purple color....... -u- Them being more expensive fruits that you don't wanna mess up is so real and true

OOH PEOPLE TRYING TO GROW THEIR OWN TREES WITH THE SEEDS. Maybe they grow faster like in the 2012 version and there were some little saplings around Thneedville at one point, but they don't last because of the poor air/water quality or being harvested before they can mature? That scene in the 1972 version where a tree outside Ye Annex Annex gets uprooted comes to mind!

Or maybe they take 20-30 years to mature like in the 1972 version, so eventually people just assume it isn't growing and give up- NOT TO MENTION HOW THE TREES NEED SPECIFIC CONDITIONS TO GROW IN AND BY SCREWING OVER THE LAND THEY CAN'T GROW ANYMORE GRAAAAAAAAHHH

Truffula tree voice ugh the pH of the soil is too high, I believe I may die......... Grickle grass voice FUCK YEAH CONCRETE

THE TRANSITION TO BUTTERFLY MILK EXTRACT AND SUBSTITUTES AND PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THE TINY DIFFERENCES LOL

Admittedly I don't know squat about perfumes but I can already see those dramatic butterfly milk perfume commercials, and people going on about all the intricacies of the scent- SCENTED CANDLES OHHH MY GOD. I think some fancy candles have stuff sprinkled on top so what if there are little truffula tufts :o

THNEEDBLRRRR- Loving the idea that someone else originally made the site but the Onceler bought and rebranded it later on. Or maybe he was the original creator, who knows! I need to see what kinda posts people would make on there- Mayhaps in another universe, the Onceler blogs about us........

DEEP FRIED THNEED. THNEED DONUTS. COAT A THNEED IN BREADING AND MAKE IT LIKE FRIED CHICKEN

OOH AND THE THING THAT ORIGINALLY GAVE ME THE IDEA OF TRUFFULA FRUIT SYRUP AND JAM IS THESE OLD CHARACTER BIOS. It states that the Lorax's favorite food is truffula berry pancakes, which makes me think of pancakes with truffula fruit syrup being served with truffula fruit slices and berries on the side ouo!!

ALSO while I was searching for the bios I found this, which is interesting bc it doesn't show truffula fruits as the pear shape we see in the movie!

(Also at one point that old promotional website with the bios referred to the Onceler as Alex, presumably as some kind of typo or autocorrect?? And I've heard that there was an old interview that said the Onceler's last name is Baxley, but I haven't found any leads or evidence of that so I doubt it's legitimacy.)

WAIT IIBORONII DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE CONFNEECTION BUILDING IN THE ONCELER'S BLUEPRINTS BECAUSE I'M SO ILL ABOUT THE POSSIBILITIES OF THE CONFNEECTION BUILDING-

ALSO just the fact that thneeds are canonically both edible and smokeable according to the 1972 Everybody Needs a Thneed song is amazing to me aksjfsdlkf

NO EXPLAIN THIS RIGHT NOW PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE CONFNEECTION BUILDING LORE IS,,, ALSO HELP THAT LIVES SOOO RENT FREE IN MY HEAD. Like I literally hear "try it in soup, it adds great zest!" in my head sometimes and I'm like "the thneed WHAT?????" And the imagery of someone smoking a thneed?? Priceless. Aaaaaah I love oncelerposting it's my favorite summer activity

[crimeronan]

Ok so I’m into the dreamer trilogy and haven’t read the Raven cycle...what is Declan’s characterisation/journey there?

THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST ASK I’VE EVER RECEIVED. IMAGINE I’M STANDING WITH MY ARMS SPREAD USING DIFFERENT VOICES AND HAND GESTURES TO REENACT THIS STORY FOR A RESENTFUL CAPTIVE AUDIENCE

also declan’s TRC storyline is like. equal parts horribly fucking sad and unbelievably fucking hilarious so. i will try to strike a Balance

FIRST OFF.  there is exactly one (1) declan POV chapter in the entire series. it happens toward the end of the last book. up until then, everything we know about him comes from the observations and narration of others.

he is also a very minor character.  his importance grows throughout the series, but almost all of his actions happen offscreen.  it’s not until the last book that we know exactly how much he’s been dealing with the whole time.

when he’s introduced in the first book, he appears as a plot device.  here is a two-dimensional horrible controlling hardass who doesn’t give a shit about anything but his future political career.  look at his fake, smug fucking grin.  how did someone like ronan end up with a brother like him??  doesn’t matter.  it’s a convenient excuse for ronan to live with his best friend in a drafty warehouse, which means more room for YA hijinks!

declan’s introduction scene is Embroiled in Capital-D Douchebaggery. according to the narration (from gansey and adam), he loves to fuck women and then never call them back, cozy up to powerful people, and bitch about how ronan’s ruining his life by being sad about their dead parents.  SOME people can just get over their dead parents, ronan!

this intro scene is also Extremely Funny i 100% recommend reading it even if u don’t read the actual series.  ronan makes a nasty comment, declan goes “why are you the way that you are” and tries to salvage his date, gansey utters the phrase “man whore”

then later that night things go like. actually bad.

declan shows up at the same pizza place where ronan is with his friends.  this scene is gansey pov.  gansey runs out to the parking lot to find the two of them Very Literally Trying To Kill Each Other.  you don’t see that violence in cdth - there’s only the TINIEST shadow of it when declan confronts ronan over matthew - so i Cannot Express Enough that someone is going to end up hospitalized at BEST. ronan’s already slammed declan’s head on the car, declan’s already grabbed ronan and beaten the shit out of his face, like.

you do not get good old-fashioned Declan Lynch At His Actual Worst in cdth. u might be thinking, THAT guy???? doing THIS????

oh yeah. things are real bad between declan and ronan.

after gansey breaks up the fight (and gets punched in the face for his trouble, albeit accidentally), declan tells ronan that their dad would be fucking ashamed to see him now & that he’s washing his hands of it & basically if ronan wants to go off and fucking die, he can.

this is like. just a couple months after the magical suicide attempt referenced in cdth

in the aftermath of that scene it becomes clear that ronan absolutely unequivocally 100% will kill himself if he has to live with declan. hence. why he’s living with gansey instead.  gansey spends that whole night petrified that the declan altercation will lead to another attempt, and for Good Reason

so like, that’s how we first meet declan. he’s an uncaring wannabe corporate asshole who does not give a fuck and who only exists to exacerbate ronan’s mental health issues.

but then the opening of book 2 gets real interesting.

book 2 is where we start learning more about the lynch family.  we learn that ronan’s father was a dreamer who sold his creations on the black market, we learn that that’s why he was murdered. we learn that ronan’s a dreamer too. we learn that there are very powerful people looking for the greywaren, an artifact that takes objects from dreams. those powerful people just don’t realize it’s a person, yet.

so here’s the assassin who killed niall lynch.

he goes to declan’s dorm.

with everything we know about declan, the kid should be completely unprepared.  he can box, but the assassin knows that, so there’s no real advantage.  he’s alone, and he doesn’t have an escape route.

declan pulls out a gun.

this is an unexpected turn of events.

unfortunately he ends up getting beaten half to death with the butt of said gun, because he loses the ensuing physical struggle for the weapon.  the assassin is like, i need the greywaren.  declan is like, i know it exists but i don’t know what it is.  i’ll find it for you.  i’ll get it to you.  then you’ll leave me the fuck alone

now with everything we know of declan at this point - his attitude toward ronan, his general demeanor, and this new knowledge that he knew about the black market - there’s one obvious question.

will declan sell ronan out if he finds out about the dreaming.

and like, okay. their relationship is antagonistic in cdth but it is NOT what it is in trc. believe me when i tell you that at that point, when you’re reading, you can pretty reasonably go, “oh, god.  oh god.  oh god please no one ever tell declan what the greywaren is.  oh god.”

declan has some other interactions with ronan and the gang throughout the book, mostly where he’s just a hardass who tells ronan to stop causing trouble.  adam’s the only one who notices that declan is scared.  like bone-deep shaking to the core petrified.  about Something.

probably getting beaten to within an inch of his life by the man who murdered his father.  that’s the reasonable reader conclusion.

so imagine how everything changes when you find out that declan already knows.  that declan’s known about ronan’s dreaming for longer than ronan has.  that declan knew exactly what and who the greywaren was, and he lied to a man who was ready to torture him for information, and he got away with it.

suddenly a lot of things recontextualize.

“keep your head down and stop making trouble”? people are gonna NOTICE your magic bullshit, ronan, we do not have time for this!

“stop hanging with that loser druggie friend of yours”? you mean the loser druggie friend who sells on the magic black market and doesn’t care about protecting himself or anyone else?

“i got super weird for no reason about ronan sleeping close to adam”? i don’t have fucking TIME to be homophobic i’m busy with your POTENTIAL TO MANIFEST NIGHT TERRORS IN FRONT OF WITNESSES IN BROAD DAYLIGHT

“i’ll find out what the greywaren is and bring it to you”? i’ll die. i’m making a bargain to die. i’m never giving you the greywaren and i know you’re going to kill me about it and that’s fine as long as my brothers are safe

ronan doesn’t know that he dreamed matthew.  declan knows.  he’s known the whole time.  declan tells ronan in book 3.  and then things recontextualize even further, because ronan’s death is also matthew’s, and matthew IS close to declan in trc.

but declan never tells the goddamn truth unless it’s his last option.  he doesn’t tell ronan that he knows about the dreaming and he doesn’t tell ronan what specifically wants to hurt him and the lack of communication fucking destroys both of them.

in the last book, ronan realizes declan loves him.

more than that, he realizes declan’s loved him the whole time.

this is when declan finally tells the truth.  things are getting bad, plot-wise, and declan is scared, so he comes clean.  he tells ronan that niall specifically tasked declan with protecting ronan from the market.  he begs ronan to run from the danger.  “let’s pour gasoline on everything dad left and start over.”

this is also when ronan realizes that declan’s childhood was very different from ronan’s own.  and that niall and aurora lynch were not the same people to declan that they were to ronan.  and that their father’s decisions are what’s driven the wedge between him and declan all this time

(he’s still struggling with the cognitive dissonance of this in cdth. i don’t think he knows how to adjust his perception of declan to fit this new information.)

aaaaand the final scene with declan makes me cry every time i read it so instead of summarizing, here’s the important part:

Ronan delivered a sharp tap to the object, and a small cloud of fiery orbs sprayed up with a sparkling hiss.

“Jesus, Ronan!” Declan jerked his chin away.

“Please. Did you think I’d blow your face off?”

He demonstrated it again, that quick tap, that burst of brilliant orbs. He tipped it into Declan’s hand, and before Declan could say anything, jabbed it to activate it once more.

Orbs gasped up into the air. For a moment, he saw how his brother was caught inside them, watching them soar furiously around his face, each gold sun firing gold and white, and when he saw the spacious longing in Declan’s face, he realized how much Declan had missed by growing up neither dreamer nor dreamt. This had never been his home. The Lynches had never tried to make it Declan’s home.

“Declan?” Ronan asked.

Declan’s face cleared. “This is the most useful thing you’ve ever dreamt. You should name it.”

“I have. ORBMASTER. All caps.”

“Technically you’re the orbmaster though, right? And that’s just an orb.”

“Anyone who holds it becomes an ORBMASTER. You’re an ORBMASTER right now. There, keep it, put it in your pocket. D.C. ORBMASTER.”

Declan reached out and scuffed Ronan’s shaved head. “You’re such a little asshole.”

The last time they’d stood on this roof together, their parents had both been alive, and the cattle in these fields had been slowly grazing, and the world had been a smaller place. That time was gone, but for once, it was all right.

The brothers both looked back over the place that had made them, and then they climbed down from the roof together.

[sylvie-writes]

Dr. Husband

word count: 5278

pairing: doctor steve rogers x wife reader

warnings: talks about heat exhaustion? there’s nothing graphic, but if the hospital theme bothers you, then this isn’t the fic to read!

prompts (from @/fluffyomlette): “Your pulse is a little high. Is it because I’m holding your hand?” and “You’re not supposed to pick favourites, doc.” “Trust me, if I didn’t, you’d be dead by now.”

a/n: this just popped in my head about a month ago and i had to write it for no explainable reason. i really couldn’t think of a title oops. if you all have a better idea please tell me so i can change it lol.

please excuse any mistakes!

Summer was finally in full force, blazing sun rays beamed down on the dry ground and once gorgeous flowers drooped in dire need of water. Sounds of children playing outside, pool water splashing as a result of cannonballs, while lawnmowers whirled to life and laughter from the watching wives resounded this afternoon. In your neighborhood, it was tradition that the women would get together every other Saturday and have drinks in the cul-de-sac while their husbands had unsaid competitions of manicuring their yards. Unfortunately for you, your husband was a doctor and that meant little time for him to do the yard, and you didn’t have children at the moment that could go play with the others. The women who were your neighbors were a bit too picky choosy for your taste. They only seemed to bond over their children and sitting around home, two of which you didn’t have or do, so you weren’t ever truly invited to their day-drinking. It was actually fine with you as these people were so hot n’cold and you were just tired of trying to fit in with faux friends. You had plenty of true friends and then your husband who was a child of his own.

For three weekends so far, Steve had told you he’d cut the lawn and as much as you wanted to believe him, you knew that he was so exhausted from work and being on call a majority of the time, that he would never find the hours to do so. That was okay with you because what he did was important and you weren’t gonna be on his ass like the feds about the yard when you could easily do it yourself. It wasn’t like he was just sitting around, no, he was working so you just decided to cut the lawn yourself, something you’d done plenty of times before. 

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Unfortunately the day you chose to do so, the sun was out blazing and a simple walk out the door was a trip to an off-brand hell. Instead of making a wise decision and waiting to cut the grass in the evening, you chose the latter and decided to cut the grass at noon, the very time the sun was in full shine. 

Dressed in attire for yard work and having already eaten a sandwich for lunch, you headed out the garage door to tackle the mess there in hopes of finding the push mower within. Steve’s father, Joseph, had given you both a lot of his lawn equipment, but the riding mower was broken at the moment and you (again) stupidly decided to push mow the almost two acre lawn. It took a good half hour to get the darned thing out on the driveway and while doing so, you noticed that your neighbors, the wives to be exact, had decided to come out for one of their occasional and somehow spontaneous get-togethers which consisted of unattended kids drawing with chalk as their mothers sat a few feet away dipping their feet in the small splash pool. You often found the idea both inventive and funny. 

For only a second more did you let your attention linger on the group before returning back to fill the lawn mower with gasoline. After doing so, you tossed on a pair of sunglasses and went full steam ahead with cutting the grass, disregarding the rising, and very unsafe, temperature. 

About an hour in, the temp had already risen to be above 100 and something no one should have spent any longer than half an hour in. Steve had always said you were stubborn at all the wrong times and boy was he right. You had just finished up half of the front yard and quarter of the back yard. It was mad that you were actually thinking about pushing mowing two acres, especially in this unruly weather. 

You were so determined and when your mind was set on something, you let all other matters slip away, including regards for your own health. The unusual amount of sweat on your skin seemed to go unnoticed by you as well did the growing headache. 

Finally, about half an hour later, more of the backyard was finished and your inner saboteur continued to influence your goals. 

“Just finish this half and you will be close enough to the end,” translated into “Just finish the whole yard, you might as well since you are this close.” 

This was the worst mindset to have, especially with the given circumstances as you had been out here for at least two hours, no drinks of any sort, no real breaks aside from fueling the lawn mower, and no cares to the worsening symptoms that now included noticeable dizziness. 

The lawn mower eventually ran out of gas and you went to refill it once more. Making your way through the front yard, your unknown adrenaline rush came to an end along with the machine’s power. It wasn’t until your vision started to star and blur that you finally noticed your decline in health, but by then it was too late and you were on the plush and groomed grass of the front yard. Ironically, you noticed the fruits of your labor since you were currently laying on it.

Five minutes had passed since your drop to the ground and one of the ladies out in the court, Genevieve, noticed your figure, quite the contrast to the viridescent grass. Despite that she thought you were “demented” for cutting the grass yourself, she knew you weren’t unhinged, so to say, that you would just lay on the grass as it would serve no purpose to do so. She didn’t take you for a nature lover either so this was not normal. 

Genevieve squatted down in the lawn, her sparkly sandals reflecting in the sea of green. Unknowing of what to do, the woman in a panic threw the back of her hand to your forehead and you burned hotter than a metal kettle. By time she stood, the other ladies had gathered around and were now circling in mass hysteria as if they were staring at a dead body and not your unconscious, yet breathing frame. Many long seconds later, Priscilla, who was Genevieve’s closest friend and who despised you as much as you did her, decided to call 911. The other moms then left to go usher their children away from what they described as a “traumatic experience” and back to their large homes for some sort of last minute luncheon. 

Eventually, an ambulance arrived in your usually quiet neighborhood, something that was clearly displayed as almost every neighbor popped their heads out of their houses in sheer curiosity. Their nosey nature often bothered you but was normally put behind some sort of service act such as a baked cake or bottle of wine just to be invited into your house. You didn’t miss the way your neighbors would study your house when they were finally welcomed in. Steve was much better at hiding his cross nature and would return some compassion of his own while you struggled to bottle your annoyance and sealed it with a forced smile. As luck would have it though, you were knocked out and couldn’t give them a piece of your mind for staring because heavens know this would’ve been the last straw and no one could have stopped your rant. 

It was when you were in the red wagon and being attended over by paramedics that you noticed you were on the way to somewhere that wasn’t home. 

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 At the hospital, the doctor and nurses hydrated you back to reality and suddenly you appeared in a bed, a doctor standing at the side with a clipboard in hand allowing your mind to draw up a million conclusions before you remembered what you had done last. 

The doctor spoke a fast introduction and he then moved on to fill you in on what had happened as confusion still painted your face although when he told you Genevieve’s account of what led up to your ultimate passing out, you visibly cringed at such carelessness that ended up bringing you here. Hundreds of falls, burns, and bruises thanks to your clumsy nature, but this had to be the one thing to send you to the hospital. Some sort of twisted joke it sure was. 

Moving to roll a stool to your bedside, the doctor passed you a cold bottle of water before bringing his eyes to give your IV a quick check as a nurse had put it in not too long before you awoke. 

“Luckily, Mrs. Rogers, your neighbors found you in time and you only experienced severe heat exhaustion. Had you prolonged your exposure anymore you could have experienced a heat stroke. For now, I ask that you rest and I’ll come back to release you.” The doctor expressed his reassurance with a kind grin before walking out of the plain and boxy room that could make one go insane with its lack of liveliness. 

Staring out the open doorway and into the empty hallway, you knew that Steve worked on this very floor, but honestly what were the chances that he’d see you? At one point he’d eventually find out about today’s mishaps, but that was a problem for later when you were more conscious and caring. Letting your worries temporarily go (something that was only happening thanks to your fatigued mind), you slightly shifted into a somewhat “comfortable” position on the stiff bed and rough cotton sheets. Albeit that there was an IV uncomfortably stuck in your arm, you fell into a much needed slumber. 

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Lunch break at last. 

That was all that had been on Steve's mind for the past three hours which had been extremely hectic. Granted, he was used to this fast-paced workplace having worked here for almost a decade, but today was absolutely out of control with injured patients coming in left and right. It wasn’t some sort of bad omen, rather just an unlucky day for many Steve had assumed. He had just finished up with a pediatric case and was now on his way to enjoy the leftover baked chicken salsa that you had made just for him last night and packed for his lunch this morning. You knew how busy his week had been and you took the liberty to make his favorite dinner dish to compensate for the work that had left such a toll on him. A smile immediately overtook his face when he walked in the house last night and that’s when you decided that you would gladly cook anything he’d like over and over again just to see that look of adoration. As Steve held you in his arms at that moment, he kept thinking how he really didn’t deserve you and little did he know, the same thought ran in your own mind. Yet, in reality, you both went together like a puzzle piece to a puzzle. Without the piece, the picture would never be completed and without the other, you and Steve would have never enjoyed life to the fullest. 

Strutting down the never ending hall, Steve passed many doors, some he had been in just a mere hour or two ago. As he walked past an open door and did a double take as he saw a patient asleep, but no sign of anyone else in the room. If he were that patient, he’d want the door shut for some privacy, something which the man highly valued, so he crossed the short distance and closed the door. He didn’t mean to look at the patient for so long as they weren’t in his care and that would be awfully creepy, but Steve could help but do a double take and noticed that the familiar face was, in fact, you. From first glance it didn’t even look like you and that was coming from the man who had studied your face just to commit it to his memory. In a loving way, of course. 

He slowly walked in your room, taking in the image before him of you lying in a hospital bed. His mind had assumed that the worst thing had happened to you and for a moment, Steve’s breathing ceased and his legs were glued to the ground. As his eyes scanned over your body again, his fears were calmed when there were no visible wounds and you just seemed to be resting. Although as a doctor, he unfortunately knew anything could be possible. 

Hunching over the top half of the bed, Steve smoothed your stray hairs away from your forehead and placed an awakening kiss there. You were a light sleeper a majority of the time and your spouse knew that this small action would wake, but not startle you. Every night he’d come home from work and do the same thing except then he knew you were safe and sound. Now, he was just filled with uncertainty. 

“What happened?” Those were the only words he was able to get out and you gave him an answer, just not one that he was looking for. You were already getting defensive and he could sense it.

“Genevieve saw me pass out in the yard and overreacted, Steven. You know they all don’t exactly have good track records with medicine.” You rolled your eyes at the last statement remembering how your neighbors have often nonchalantly tried to get Steve to diagnose them when it came to something as simple as a scrape. Then again, all of your neighbors were in the business industry so that explained their lack of medical knowledge or at least that is the excuse you drew up for them. 

“Nice try, (y/n), but you do have a medical chart and it’s over there,” Steve pointed over his shoulder and towards the doorway where a plastic chart holder sat mounted on the cream wall. “You didn’t just pass out, and the neighbors did not overreact. They did the right thing despite how much I know you hate that. Now, either you tell me the truth or I go read that file.” His tone was serious, but not condescending. Hidden in his eyes was a tad sprinkle of mischief.

Stubborn as ever, you didn’t respond and folded your arms over your chest in a form of defiance. 

Against what is probably legal, Steve picked up your medical chart to read what had happened as you wouldn’t disclose the information to him. Your husband was a worry-wart sometimes and while you appreciated how he doctored you when you were sick, he could be a bit overbearing. A great example would be the time when you were cooking dinner and burned your forearm when taking the casserole out of the oven. 

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“Babe, dinner is ready!” 

The timer on the oven was currently beeping and you walked towards it. Turning off both the oven and the timer, you grabbed a short oven mitt and reached in to grab the casserole dish off the top rack. As you did so, you lifted your arm a bit too high and hit the side of your forearm on the interior roof of the oven. The temperature was ridiculously hot and the pain was immensely strong that you immediately pulled your arm back, the casserole long forgotten. 

Steve came running in at your string of curses and came in to see you holding your arm and hissing a bit as if that would relieve the pain. He walked closer to you as you leaned up against the island. Your husband delicately took your arm in his hand, raking his eyes over the burn that was soon to blister. 

After a short inspection, Steve placed his other hand on the small over your back and led you to the sink, flipping on the cold water and running it over your burn. Out of the corner of his eye, Steve could see you squeezing your own eyes shut in pain. 

“I know, sweetheart, it hurts, I’m sorry.” He continued to rinse your scalded skin, but turned his head to sweetly kiss your temple. 

A few minutes passed and Steve was content with the rinse job as you had finally opened your eyes, even engaging in some of your jokes that were always said at the wrong time. From the kitchen, the man guided you down the hallway, through your bedroom and into your joined bathroom. He sat you on the edge of the bathroom tub while rummaging through your unorganized medicine cabinet. It was barely ever touched and when it was, it was often in a state of panic hence the messiness of it. Fortunately, Steve found a tube of bacitracin and some cotton dressings from God knows how long ago. At this point he could care less and would rather have you cared for. 

You curiously watched him as he dug through the cabinet and a loving smile grew on your face. How lucky were you to have this man. You were really appreciative of him in times like these especially. 

Said man returned and crouched before you, distracting you from your thoughts as he softly grabbed your hand once more. 

The doctor worked his magic and in no time was your arm wrapped up and lathered in ointment.

“Wow Doc, you did a great job.” Steve was still holding your hand as you quietly giggled in content. He placed a kiss on top of your knuckles and peered up at you with those gorgeous (and borderline seductive) sapphire eyes. Chuckling, Steve murmured against your skin, “Only for my favorite patient.” 

As always, you decided to play along with Steve’s playful banter. “You’re not supposed to pick favorites, doc.” 

Your husband knew your clumsy nature and seemed to have the perfect response, “Trust me, if I didn’t, you’d be dead by now.”

With your non-injured hand you went to hit his shoulder and he grabbed it in faux hurt. 

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

“You know, Dr. Rogers, that is a violation and I can actually report you for it.” You lifted your line of sight to see Steve who looked back at you with his lips pressed in a fine line. He shook his head disapprovingly after reaching the end of the report and now looked like he was going to sit back in the seat beside your bed. 

“Hey, what are you doing? They already examined me and I am about to get released.” The man ignored you and instead leaned over the flimsy bed railing. Steve rubbed his hands together in a warming manner before placing two fingers on your next in an attempt to find your pulse. He unfortunately carried that common trait among doctors of having hands that were colder than that of a penguin’s ass. You knew very well this pulse check was useless as you were in conditional health and that he was probably doing this to annoy you. 

“Well I like to do a check of my own. It never hurts to get a second opinion, darling.” Blue eyes squinted at you and you returned the patronizing gesture. 

The free hand that was not on your neck had found its way to hold your own hand and when your husband pulled back, he wore a smug smirk on his lips. 

“Your pulse is a little high. Is it because I’m holding your hand?” 

“You know, your shoulders must hurt from carrying such a big head all the time.” Steve had the nerve to laugh at your elementary grade insult and even though you weren’t really mad, your face would have said otherwise to anyone else. 

“So I’ll take that as a yes then, wifey.” He then quickly dropped to press a chaste kiss to your lips before releasing your hand and sitting down in the chair. 

Looking to the clock on the wall, you focused your vision on the distant numbers to read that it was most likely Steve’s lunch break.

“Are you spending your lunch break with me?” Your tone was now sweet and soft as it usually was towards Steve and his heart leaped at the progress being made. 

“It seems that I am. ‘Was really looking forward to that chicken salsa, though.” A heap of blonde hair rested on your hand that Steve had now laid his head against, still holding tight with both of his own hands. You giggled at his dramatics and ruffled a free hand through his greasy hair. 

“I haven’t eaten anything, you think you could spend your lunch break with me?” His head popped up at this and his face held the eagerness of an energetic puppy. 

“Of course, sweetheart. We can head to the cafeteria. Hopefully they have something good for my girl.” It was now your turn for your heart to swell at his words. Not even a second later though, the sentimental moment was replaced with Steve’s usual sarcastic humor. 

“See, I love you so much that I am willing to sacrifice my precious chicken salsa just to have lunch with you. You should be grateful to have me as your husband.” Steve’s pearly whites beamed at you in a cheesy smile and you gave a dismissive wave of your hand. 

The two of you talked and enjoyed the rare time together for the next ten minutes until Steve noticed you shifting to sit up against the pillows. He thought nothing of it until suddenly you were throwing your legs over the side of the bed and making to get out of the so called cotton prison. 

Waving a finger, Steve tutted you and hurriedly scooped your legs back onto the bed. You looked absolutely peeved and Steve knew it was from the way that he was treating you like a child or better yet, a patient. His wife, the fighter and he, the doctor. Two unlikely personalities but ones that worked best together nonetheless. This made Steve laugh whenever he thought about it.

“You can get up the minute you get released by the doc, okay?” Caring eyes now gave you a pleading look and you felt a small tinge of guilt crawling up your chest at how mean you had been to your husband when he has only been trying to help. 

A knock on the wooden door signaled a visit from the one person you had been waiting on for what seemed to be ages. 

“Speak of the devil.” Muttering the phrase so only Steve could hear you gave him an “I told you so” kind of look. 

The Doctor looked up from the same clipboard as earlier to greet you once he made it in through the doorway, but he was surely surprised by the figure sitting in the chair beside you. 

“Oh Dr. Rogers, what a surprise! So this is your wife I presume? I guess I should have put two and two together,” Your doctor of the moment laughed with Steve who added in a chuckle or two of his own. 

“Yep, this is Mrs. Rogers!” Steve didn’t look at you, but lovingly squeezed your hand that was resting against his, “We are quite the handful so I am surprised you couldn’t tell that she was my other half.” A snicker ended his words and you couldn’t help but do the same. 

Once the short introductions were over, the doctor walked over to do a speedy final exam on what was necessary as Steve watched from the sidelines still getting used to the idea of not being the one doing the examination. He hadn’t been in any other position in the hospital for such a long time that it took some time to get used to the fact that he wasn’t the one diagnosing and rather waiting for the diagnosis. 

The doctor pulled away from hovering over you and now sat back on his rolling leather stool, scooting his way over to the computer and desk. 

“Well I must say, (y/n), that you definitely live up to some of the stories your husband tells.” The other man in the white coat finished up his typing before turning back around to face you and his colleague. 

“Ah, I hope he’s giving me some good street cred,” You teased and from the side you saw Steve shaking his head and chuckling under his breath. 

“I assure you that they were all good things.” With that, the doctor formally released you, walking out of the room to give you some time to redress and such.

You went to get out of the bed for the nth time, but finally succeeded. Your legs felt a bit wobbly upon the first step, and Steve noticed this. He came up to stand beside you and placed a hand on your lower back with the other out in front in case you did fall. Placing your own hand on his scrub clad chest to steady yourself, you silently thanked him with a tender pat. 

With Steve’s guidance, you went to change out of the wretched paper gown and into your shorts and shirt from working outside. It wasn’t exactly the most flattering outfit but at this moment you could care less for the only thing on your mind was getting out of this room.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The ride in the elevator seemed to move slower than a snail and almost stopped on every floor. You were so crammed by the time you were only on the fifth floor that you used this as an excuse to lean up against Steve. He rubbed your arm and enveloped you in a side hug and planted a kiss on your head. The two of you never cared for PDA but neither of you had realized the onlooking eyes. 

You found it mildly comedic when some of your fellow passengers seemed disgusted that a doctor was handling a patient in such a way. It was definitely gonna be a joke for later on. 

Eventually you made it to the first floor and begrudgingly pushed yourself out of Steve’s warm embrace when the smell of garlic bread hit your nose. 

“Huh, they never cook spaghetti around here. They must know we have a special guest today.” Steve pressed his lips against your ear to jokingly whisper to you as he ushered you out the elevator doors. 

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Standing in line with a plastic tray at the cafeteria made you have flashbacks to middle school lunch and you shuddered at the thought. The memories played back in your mind like a movie and were interrupted (much to your relief) when Steve tapped your shoulder.

“You want this?” Steve held one of the plastic salad containers in hand, the white sleeve of his lab coat draped on top of the other stacked bowls in the open air freezer. 

You nodded and he placed it on your tray, slightly bumping your hips as he walked past to grab a drink.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

For a good twenty minutes, you and Steve sat in comfortable silence in one of the booths until clicking clogs came closer and closer. So close that a shadow loomed over your table conveying that someone was here to speak. 

“Dr. Rogers, I don’t think it’s entirely wise of you to have lunch with your patient. Actually, it’s quite inappropriate.” The older woman in burgundy scrubs pointed her gaze to the hospital band on your wrist and both you and Steve started laughing upon noticing. So that explained all the weird looks.

“Oh no, Dr. Williams! This is my wife (y/n),” You politely beamed up at the woman and set out your hand for a handshake. At this, her unenthusiastic expression changed to one of apologetic and she shook your hand with much grief as Steve continued on with his introductions. 

“(y/n), this is Dr. Williams. She is the medical director for my department.” 

“Wow! I’ve heard many wonderful things about you, Dr. Williams.” She went to return the praise before a beeping in her coat pocket signaled the time for her departure. 

“Duty calls, but I’ll have you know this one here never shuts up about you. It was nice to finally put a face to a name, (y/n),” You glanced at Steve and noticed he was sheepishly grinning and turning redder by the second. So much so that he was hiding his face in his palms.

““I hope you have a quick recovery as well, hon!” The standing woman gave you a nod of her head and then turned to your husband whose face had finally regained its color. “As for you Steven, I will see you later. You have another resident to deal with today.” Dr. Williams sighed at the thought, waving you both goodbye and soon enough she was out the double doors of the lunch room. 

“Ooh babe you’ll have to tell me how all of that goes.” Spooning some spaghetti into your mouth, you goofily raised your eyebrows at Steve. 

“Trust me, it is not fun at all. When I was a resident, I would have never acted like some of the people I’ve trained!” 

You snorted, “Uh huh. Sureee.” 

“No really,” Steve’s eyes widened and he leaned over the table like he was sharing some sort of secret with you, “The audacity of some of these people.” 

“I think you are just an old man now, Stevie, and can’t keep up with the times.” The blond screwed up his eyes and stuck his tongue out at you. 

“Oh hush and finish your food, Miss. ‘I am soooo young’.” A napkin flew at Steve’s chest and the two of you laughed at the childish antics that had just ensued. 

Just as both of your styrofoam containers became empty, an unpleasant ringer sounded in Steve’s pocket, just like the one of Dr. Williams’s departure. Once he gave the screen a swift peek, he looked back up at you with a long face. 

“You gotta go?” Golden strands bobbed up and down as Steve nodded and you grabbed his hand. 

“It’s alright! Thank you for spending the time with me today, though. I really appreciate it. Thanks for putting up with me, you know how I am sometimes.”  

The larger hand encompassing yours gave a sympathetic squeeze. 

“Oh darling, anytime, you know that. If you need anything, call me okay? I will try my best to answer.” 

The temporary silence that filled the room was now replaced by annoying buzzing from the device that Steve had silenced for the moment. He irritability took it out and shoved it back in his pocket. Normally this didn’t bother Steve because this was his job, but since you were here, having just been sick, he wanted nothing more than to drop everything and focus on you. Knowing that was impossible, he tried his best to juggle both yet it seemed that the world wasn’t gonna wait on him. 

“Do you want me to call Ma to come get you? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. Her and Dad love your company.” For the moment, Steve appeared to look like he was ignoring the constant beeping, but you knew internally he was already out of the cafeteria and sprinting down the halls.

“No no, I’m fine, honey,” The doctor stared at you as if he didn’t believe you. “I mean it, Steve. I am fine. Now shoo.” 

Dr. Rogers shared another laugh with you before pecking your lips and running out the room shouting, “I’ll see you later!” 

He really was too good for this world. 

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

a/n: i really enjoyed writing for doctor!steve, so if anyone has any ideas that involves him and that you’d like me to write, send it in! <3

taglist (is open!): @memissbee @tricereads @buckybarnesthehotshot @bval-1 @tonystankschild @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @turtoix @kelbabyblue @jakiki94 @aubreeskailynn @calirindo @lady-elena-adeline @siriuslyslyslytherin @sushiinmidnight @patzammit @iwik3it

[realcube]

BABYSITTING WITH HIM

characters ♡ oikawa, tendou & sakusa

tw ♡ children, cursing & mentions of arson

TŌRU OIKAWA

♡ he is pretty much a professional babysitter, or so he thought

♡ which is why he accepted when you asked if he could help you take care of your nieces/nephews for the weekend

♡ i mean, he takes care of his nephew all the time so how hard could babysitting possibly be? it was basically a free pass to spend the day with you 

♡ however, he began to regret his decision as he sat on your couch and realised that he wouldn’t be able to get even somewhat intimate with you when there was constantly an annoying little boy clinging to his arm, asking him if he had any games on his phone

♡ “sorry, kid.” oikawa smiled, clenching his jaw to hide the rage but it wasn’t very effective, “i’ve not got any games. maybe you could go play with your toys or something.” 

♡ he let out a sigh, making the mistake of thinking that would be the end of their interaction

♡ “can’t you just download some?” the boy retaliated

♡ you snickered, watching as the energy visibly drained from oikawa, yet he still wore his frighteningly bright grin

♡ “i’ve not got any storage.” 

♡ “then delete some of your apps or photos.” the boy said with a shrug, then proceeded to point at oikawa’s home screen, which happened to be a picture of him and you in front of an ethereal sunset, “start with that one. you both look like dorks.”

♡ you and oikawa’s unified gasps of offence were enough to show the boy that he was able to do exactly what he intended; piss y’all off

♡ hence, with a final mischievous snicker, he dashed off

♡ “i hate kids.” oikawa muttered, inspecting his homescreen to see if he really did look like a ‘dork’, “what is his problem?”

♡ “what if our kids turn out like that?” you joked 

♡ his eyes widened momentarily, turning to look at you with an uncharacteristically sheepish expression, “our w--”

♡ “mr kawa!” a cry could be heard from the kitchen so without hesitation, you both hopped to your feet and rushed over there as quick as you could 

♡ once you both reached the area the yell came from, you were fortunately not greeted by anything gruesome 

♡ instead, you both got to behold two children trying to reach the top shelf with the power on friendship; the taller boy was standing on a chair, while the toddler held it still 

♡ however, his grip on the jar of the Nutella must’ve loosened at some point as it now lay dejectedly on the ground, half spilled across the tiles and the other half drenching the toddler, not that they seemed to mind though 

♡ in fact, it looked like they were having the time of their — albeit, short — life

♡ the container was only plastic, hence you didn’t have to worry about shards when you darted over to the poor, chocolate-covered baby and scooped them up into your arms, “are you guys, okay?!”

♡ “yeah.” the boy chuckled, noticing that holding the toddler was transferring the chocolate onto you too

♡ “if you wanted nutella, you could’ve just asked.” oikawa sighed, helping the boy get down safely from the chair before putting the object back at it’s intended spot at the dinner table 

♡ “you could have gotten seriously hurt! i thought you would know better than to do something like this.” you scolded, becoming even more furious as the baby continued to playfully slap your face with their grimy hands, “please don’t do that again.”

♡ before they boy got the chance to do anything besides murmur a vague apology, oikawa interjected, “they won’t get the chance.”

♡ and he was right

♡ after cleaning everything up (including the child, which took forever), you didn’t let either of the rascals out of your sight until your duties as babysitters were complete 

♡ “i think we handled that pretty well.” oikawa mused, gathering his stuff along with you as you both got ready to leave

♡ “yeah, maybe we should do this again sometime.” you suggested, but it was followed by a few second was complete silence

♡ until you both burst out laughing 

♡ “yeah, never again.” you agreed

♡ “the kids can take care of themselves.” oikawa said with shrug, offering his hand to you, before you both strutted out of the disaster house

♡ ever since then, it was a common inside joke between you to, when in the vicinity of a kid causing mayhem or being a nuisance, whisper to each or exchange a look that says, ‘it’s a great day to not be babysitting.’  

SATORI TENDŌ

♡ at first, you thought that asking tendou for help babysitting would be a bad idea bc he is just as hyperactive as the damn kids sometimes so he’d probably not be the best influence 

♡ and you knew this bc one time you happened to run into him while out in the park with the kids and you asked him to watch them for literally a minute so you could run to the bathroom but when you came back all you almost had a heart attack because tendou was teaching them fkn tricks on the monkey bars 

♡ however, you then realised that if the kids were busy committing arson with uncle tendou, then they wouldn’t be bothering you 

♡ so here you are, playing monopoly with your boyfriend, a seven year-old and a one year-old

♡ well, it was less like monopoly and more like debate class since none of you could agree on the rules

♡ “well, uncle ten,” the older sibling began, in a very matter-of-factly tone, “if i burn your property down, then i  don’t have to pay you for landing on it.”

♡ “but then you also go to jail.” you pointed out

♡ “not if the police don’t catch me.”

♡ you burst out laughing, meanwhile tendou kept his business face on, “good point, but watch this.” tendou spoke as he rolled the dice, though no matter what if he got a number between four and seven, he would end up landing on somebody’s property

♡ he got a four

♡ picking up his piece, he moved it across each square individually and once he was due to land on your property, he knocked his piece over

♡ “whoops, i slipped.” he chuckled, though his friendly aura immediately dropped as he looked you dead in the eye and said, “i’m suing.”

♡ “you can’t sue me because you tripped!” you yelled 

♡ “i guess i just fell for you.” he said, resulting in the kids both making gagging noises before he stuck out his hand, “100 monopoly dollars, please.”

♡ “like i said,” you tried your best to stay strong and not laugh at his shitting pickup line, “i’m not giving you any money, you fell!”

♡ “i guess we’ll have to take this matter to court then.” tendou said, tapping the shoulder of the one year-old who was currently chewing on a 500 bill which you quickly had to confiscate 

♡ “judge, do you think (y/n) owes me 100 monopoly dollars for poor health and safety conduct?”

♡ “yes.”

♡ “that is the only word they know how to say!” you cried, begrudgingly handing over the money 

♡ “thank you, angel.” tendou cooed, adding your singular bill to the pile he had already stored up; the winner of the game had already been decided 

♡ and although you and the seven year-old kid both cried later after getting your asses kicked in monopoly (the one year-old cried too but they were just hungry), you all went out to get food and actually had a pretty good time

♡ it became a routine for tendou to help you babysit whenever he got the chance and y’all would always play table top games

♡ also when tendou got accepted into culinary school, he’d teach/show the kids what dishes he has learned to prepare and let them help by stirring the pot, adding spices etc etc

♡ and even when he moved to Paris, on special occasions, a box of chocolates would suddenly appear at the kids’ door and all the little pieces would be shaped and moulded into some of their favourite characters or made out of their favourite flavours 

♡ and at one point the kids even insisted that you teach them how to make chocolates so they can send some back to uncle tendou <33

♡ they weren’t the best, but when tendou received the misshapen, slightly stale chocolates at his apartment, addressed from you and the children, he cried

KIYOOMI SAKUSA

♡ his first response when you asked if he could help you babysit was ofc ‘ew no 🤢’

♡ needless to say it took a lot mansplain manipulate malewifing to convince him to come over 

♡ but once he did, obviously he was in his full protective gear; there was no way in hell he was going to catch whatever germs the little goblins have

♡ honestly he almost sprayed a chid in the face with hand sanitizer when they came running up to him with open arms, trying to give him a hug 

♡ which was unusual because the kids don’t tend to be overly friendly with new people, but you just brushed it off and figured that sakusa must’ve been an exception

♡ during his time babysitting, sakusa spend most of his energy trying to avoid the children at all costs that it basically became a game of tag, with you helping the child try to reach sakusa, and him hiding

♡ but honestly you couldn’t complain since the whole time the child was playing, they were safe with you rather than playing with fire 

♡ until later you were reminded of their odd fondness for sakusa when they insisted that sakusa carry them to their bedroom when it was their nap time

♡ and as you were shifting through the books, looking for a story to read, it hit you why they seemed to be so familiar with sakusa

♡ it’s because he looked exactly like the prince in one of their favourite story books; same hair, both tall and they even had similar moles to each other

♡ upon noticing this, you immediately showed sakusa and was quite amused

♡ in fact, he found it so cute that he gave both you and the toddler a lil’ kiss on the cheek, as a parting gift — mask off and everything

♡ he ended up reading the story and the kid fell into deep slumber by the time he reached the second page

♡ letting out a sigh of relief, sakusa slumped onto the ground, allowing his own eyes to flutter shut for a moment, “what a day.”

♡ you shuffled over to you could lay down beside him, “indeed it was, prince sakusa.”

♡ “shut up.” he teased, poking your rib slightly before absently intertwining his fingers with your own

♡ next thing you knew, you were both awakened by the sound of a grumpy toddler...

[sky-of-dusk]

Mayblade - Day 29 : Fireworks

Drabble (about 1 000 words)

Characters: Kyouya and Kakeru Tategami

"I love the New-Year festival!" Kakeru exclaimed.

He was so happy to be back home and reunited with his family he felt like he was going to burst. He didn't regret his trip to the United States, but he really missed being home.

It was all the more fun as they were all dressed in kimono for the occasion. His was sober, grey with green flame patterns, like his favorite t-shirt. Their father wore a traditional kimono. Kyouya and their mother had outdone themselves, as usual. Kakeru didn't remember seeing them wearing the same kimono twice. Their mother wore a kimono decorated with flowers, surrounded by silver motifs. Her hair was gathered in a complex chignon and adorned with jewelery. Leone's face was woven into Kyouya's kimono. Silhouettes of leaves and flowers were starting at Leone's face, occupying the entire left half of his kimono. Not to mention the ribbon holding is hair instead of his usual elastic, even if no one should point out to Kyouya it matched the color of the dominant element of the year–black for water, in this case.

"The parents left on their side," commented Kyouya.

"Already?!"

Kakeru glanced around them and realized that, indeed, their parents were already disappearing in the crowd.

Well, we can forget about the family reunion.

"Should we start with the predictions?" Kyouya suggested, pointing at a booth a few steps away.

"For someone who doesn't believe in magic…"

"Don't start." Kyouya's warning was accompanied by a dark look that had no effect on Kakeru. He was 100 percent immune.

Kyouya narrowed his eyes. He waved his index finger. Still without effect. Kakeru hesitated between teasing him–reminding him this time he almost had an attack by drawing the number four, for example–and sparing him. He chose the second option. It would be his best move of the year.

They went to the stand and each pulled out a predictive tablet. Kakeru looked at his own, his heart beating. He returned it with a determined gesture. Good luck. That wasn't bad.

"What did you get?"

Kyouya's little smile answered him before he even returned his tablet. Excellent luck.

"How do you get that every year?"

"I'm the eldest," smuggily answered Kyouya.

"That's not a reason." Kakeru looked at the tablet a little closer. He looked up at his brother." You realize that statistically speaking–"

Kyouya suddenly pointed to another stand. "They sell takoyaki and yakitori there." And to head there with a decided step.

I guess we shouldn't talk about statistics either.

It certainly hurt Kyouya's logic.

But, well. No festival was worthy of that name if you didn't eat. So it wasn't a too annoying change of subject.

Besides, I'm sure he dreamt about Mount Fuji again.

The Tategami brothers enjoyed meals as they walked down the festival aisles. Kakeru let his eyes wander from stand to stand. Many were dedicated to food, of course, but there were also different games–most of them involving Beyblade. The atmosphere was cheerful. Smiles were on all faces. It was a great way to start the year. Kakeru grabbed his brother's arm, startling him. He laughed and walked back. "Sorry."

"You don't look sorry," Kyouya remarked.

"There are ema there, shall we go?"

Kyouya narrowed his eyes, telling him that his change of subject had not gone unnoticed. He crossed his arms but headed towards the ema. "I don't see the point. If you want something, you have to fight for it and not just wish for it."

"You could make a wish about Ginga."

"I don't need a wish to defeat him."

"Of course!" replied Kakeru fervently. "I was thinking of a wish to wish him happiness, good health… The same kind of wish I'm gonna make for you and our parents."

"Sappy."

Kakeru laughed. He took a ema and wrote down his wish. "I'm sure Ginga would need something," he commented by hanging his ema.

Kyouya's disinterest turned into a thoughtful look. He observed the ema as if they held a secret he wanted to know. He grabbed a ema and drew furious ideograms.

"You've come up with an idea."

Kyouya hung the ema with a sigh. "Three years we've known each other, and Ginga had to: face an evil bey, prevent the Atlantis' resurrection, destroy an energy reactor and fight a false god. I want a quiet year, with Beybattles. I'm tired of getting involved in all this stupid stuff."

Kyouya joined hands and closed his eyes, probably to reiterate her wish. Kakeru could picture him address the same words to the gods, complaining about these "stupid stuff".

Kyouya opened his eyes and glared daggers at the ema. Kakeru wouldn't vouch on its chances if Kyouya's wish wasn't granted.

"You helped save the world. That's cool."

"I prefer Beybattles."

"And me, motorcycle tournaments."

Kyouya smiled.

The Tategami brothers continued their wanderings through the festival, stopping at one stand or another. They walked until the fireworks display, for which they miraculously found their parents. Points of light invaded the sky. Sometimes scattered in a shower of sparks, sometimes drawing elaborate shapes–flowers, birds, figures. Kakeru glanced at his parents and brother, captivated by the spectacle. He smiled.

It was really the best way to start the year.

[nat-20s]

for @jonmartinweek day 8! (which I definitely realized was happening and for sure did not forget lmao). The prompt was free day/au, so I picked my own theme of “pets”. The last few fics have been pretty loaded, so please enjoy some pure post canon (literal and figurative) fluff

~*~

“I can’t believe I married a dog person.”

They weren’t even supposed to be in the shelter. They had made no plans to visit a shelter. However, as Jon has been learning over the course of the past couple years, a Martin not under duress and given free time outside will inevitably end up trying to befriend any living nonhuman creature in the immediate vicinity.

“I’m not a dog person.”

“The lapful of beagle puppy would indicate otherwise.”

“Just because I appreciate the company of a very good boy, yes you are, doesn’t mean I’m a dog person. Dog person implies I have a preference. I like cats equally as much as I like dogs. Unlike some of us, my heart is open to all manner of furry friends.”

“I don’t...hate dogs.”

“Uh-huh. Is that why you won’t pet Rufio here?”

“He’s nippy, I don’t trust him. And it’s just that dogs are A Lot. I find most of them a bit overwhelming. And needy.”

“Pff, that’s no excuse. You’ve been best friends with overwhelming, and you married needy.”

Martin lets out a distracted giggle as Rufio finally gets in a lick on his face. Okay, maybe it is a pretty adorable sight, but that’s hardly sufficient enough evidence to actually let such an energetic ball of fluff into their home. Still, it’s enough to convince Jon to sit down next to them, and give Rufio a very tentative scritch behind the ears. “I think we both qualify as the needy one in our relationship.”

“Pretty sure that’s called codependency. What would our therapist say?”

“She’d probably say that’s a bit harsh. And that we still need to work on our separation anxiety.”

“Hey, you know what helps with separation anxiety?”

“No.”

“A dog!”

“No!”

They get a dog. Their flat is decently sized and they both have steady incomes and enough free time between them to take proper care of her. They don’t get Rufio, but instead a 7 year old mutt named Daffodil who is, admittedly, the most gentle and sweet creature Jon’s ever met. They also get a cat, a rambunctious 2 year old tabby named Jack (“We can change the name.” “Jon! How dare you! Jack responds to his name, clearly he likes it!”) who had already decided Daffodil was his mom, and they couldn’t possibly bear not adopting them together.

~*~

“You know, we could get a tarantula.”

“Fuck off.”

“I’m serious! They’re not, like, evil in this universe, and some of them have cutest little pink toesie woesies.”

“You’re not serious, you’re being a bastard, and I hate you.”

Martin wraps his arms around Jon’s waist and presses a kiss to the side of his face, which Jon gives a half-hearted swat at, because, again, the man’s being a bastard. Stubbornly ignoring Jon’s pout, Martin presses his cheek to the top of Jon’s head, cheerfully replying, “I’m fine with that, as long as you promise to hate me for the rest of our lives.”

“Well, I certainly can’t make that promise. I won’t even hate you ten seconds from now. I suppose you’ll have to settle for love instead.”

“Hmm. Deal.”

“We’re still not getting a fucking tarantula.”

They do not get a tarantula. Their home remains admirably spider free.

~*~

Martin’s gasp is loud enough to echo, and Jon can feel him begin to vibrate next to him. The excitement is perplexing at first, they’ve been to this bookstore dozens of times, and it’s never elicited this sort of response. Then Jon looks over to the front counter, where a medium-sized cage and a “For adoption” sign have been put on display. With a wild, jubilant glee, Martin asks, “Sonja! Are those baby. Dumbo. Rats?!”

“Sure are! I’ve got a friend who’s a breeder, I take it you’re interested?”

“Yes, absolutely, 100%, we’re getting two immediately.”

“Well…”

Martin snaps his head over to look at Jon with a look of betrayal the likes of which Jon hasn’t seen since the panopticon. “Jonathan, no!”

“Um.”

“You can not tell me you you don’t like rats! Dumbo rats especially!”

“I…”

Ticking off on his fingers, Martin lists, “They’re adorable, they’re smart, they’re cleanly, they’re extremely empathetic, they’re tickilish, which is stupidly cute, they can be trained to use a litter box and do tricks, they’re snuggly and playful and perfect! They’re all the good parts of dogs combined with the best parts of cats in one tiny portable package! Look at their little ears, that are like that because of a slight difference in skull shape that has no negative health effects! Plus, we can set them up in the project room, since Captain Jack isn’t allowed in there anyway. How can you dislike rats?”

“I don’t know! They just sort of..freak me out. Or not all of them, just their feet. I don’t like their little man hands.”

Martin throws his arms in the air, proclaiming, “Their little man hands are one of their best qualities! Look, Jon, are you genuinely afraid of them, or just slightly discomfited?”

“I would say mediumly discomfited. This isn’t like spiders.”

“Cool. ‘Cause in that case, we’re getting the light tan one and the solid white one, their names shall be Peaches and Cream, and you will love them as much as you love our dog and cat children.”

“That’s a rather bold claim.”

“It’s an accurate one. You’ll see.”

Within a week, Jon is transporting Peaches ‘n’ Cream in the pocket of his hoodie, and he can feel Martin’s smug aura from two rooms away. Damn him.

~*~

“Did you know snakes don’t have an amygdala?”

“Okay? You didn’t have to bring me to a reptile store to tell me that.”

“I didn’t bring you to a reptile store to tell you that. I brought you to a reptile store because I want to hold a cornsnake.”

Jon rolls his eyes, but the fondness in his voice somewhat undercuts it. “Of course you do.”

Martin makes a scaly acquaintance in less than two minutes, and as the snake coils around his fingers, he continues, “Anyway, if they don’t have amygladas, do they feel fear in a way similar to us, or is it only a recognition of threats and instinctual response?”

“Martin, my love, I have no idea. Is this going somewhere? It’s fine if not, I’m just checking in.”

“Yes. Because if they don’t feel fear, I’m getting this snake and naming her Georgie.”

That makes Jon let out a sharp bark of laugh, and, for a moment, he’s able to reminisce without any pain. “You know, I think she’d actually love that? She also had a proclivity for all creatures great and small. And a terrible sense of humor.”

“Wow, you really have a type, huh. Also hey! My sense of humor is fantastic! It always makes my husband laugh, and he has very exacting standards.”

“Liar. Your husband finds joy with you at the slightest provocation, no good sense of humor needed.”

“Hmm. He is a bit of a softie, isn’t he? Which is why he’ll let me get this snake.”

“He most certainly will not.”

“But….look at her….”

“It’s not a matter of how cute she is, dear. It’s a matter of you made us get pet rats less than a month ago, there’s absolutely no way you’re going to be able to feed mice to a snake.”

Martin looks at the cornsnake, looks at Jon, looks back, and his shoulders slump. With a wince, he asks, “Maybe frozen mice won’t be too bad?”

“What if she’s picky?”

“...There are species of snake that only eat bugs.”

“Cornsnakes aren’t one of them.”

Waving over an assistant, Martin puts the cornsnake back with a defeated, “Fine. When you’re right, you’re right.”

Jon doesn’t particularly feel like he’s won an argument. In fact, he’s a bit disappointed himself, he always liked snakes. Big fan of reptiles in general, actually, which is probably what drives him to say, “Lizards don’t usually eat mice.”

That’s how they walk out of the store with three leopard geckos.

~*~

Jon’s helping Martin set up the gecko tank in what can now be affectionately called a zoo when all of the sudden it strikes him. Some of the animals in their home right now have life spans of 10-20 years, and never once had the necessary longevity of care come up as a reason to protest against them. Jon had felt so at ease with the concept of a future that he hadn’t even thought about it, hadn’t been steeling himself for the other shoe to drop. He’s stopped having bated breath every time something good happens, instead taking reassurance in a sense of permanence that he wasn’t sure he’d ever feel again. Martin must hear his breath hitch, because he immediately stops what he’s doing to take Jon’s hand into his own. “Something wrong, love?”

Jon shakes his head. “No, nothing. I suppose I’m realizing that we have time, don’t we?”

Martin must know exactly what he means, the weight behind the words, because he brings Jon’s hand to his lips and says, “Yes. Yes, we really, really do.”

[thefanficmonster]

Deep Breaths

Valkyrae x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Panic Attack, Mentions of past domestic abuse, Mentions of alcohol and drug abuse, Swearing

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst to Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having received a call from the correctional facility where their alcoholic/drug addict mother is being kept, Y/N gets some intense nightmarish flashbacks to a time that still haunts them despite a decade having passed. Luckily their girlfriend Rae is there to comfort therm.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your lovely request, I hope I captured what you wanted to read! Sorry it has taken me so long to complete and post the fic, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Love, Vy ❤

“Hey Y/N, I-“ One step in the living room and that’s all it took for Rae to pick up on the melancholic mood in the room. 

Her partner hasn’t even noticed she’s entered. Instead, they are sitting hunched over on the couch, elbows on knees, hand seeking their hands’ support to stay upright and their eyes hiding a thousand yard stare that’s got Rae worried sick.

“Babe, what’s wrong?“ She asks softly, inching closer to the couch to take a seat next to Y/N, “You can tell me anything, you know that, right?“

Through the fog surrounding their brain, they somehow manage to catch onto Rae’s words, forcing themself to give her at least a nod in response as to not scare her with their unresponsiveness. They can’t bring themselves to speak, it’s too hard on them to even think of what to say let alone spit it out, especially when their chest feels like it’s caught fire and their mind is still going haywire, heartbeat thumping in their ears as the adrenaline rush refuses to cease.

“Hey, look at me...“ Instead of sitting down, Rae ducks down in front of Y/N, taking their hands in hers, almost wincing at how cold they were. “Tell me what’s bothering you, baby.“

The girl is trying her best not to freak out or lose her cool, despite her already quickened heartbeat she can hear in her ears. She has every right to be reacting the way she is. Her permanently happy, bubbly, optimistic and cheerful partner who always seems to be as energized as though they’d just had a gallon of coffee is now a pale ghost sitting statue-still, staring off into the void with eyes that look empty yet terrified simultaneously.

Y/N’s mouth falls open as though they want to say something but the words die out somewhere along the way, refusing to leave their mouth and give them the relief of sharing their pain with the only person they trust limitlessly.  “I-...“ They finally manage to find their voice though their gaze is still avoiding hers, “I got a call from the correctional facility where....” They trail off, a bitter taste forming in their mouth, making their stomach turn and bite the inside of their cheek as they feel the urge to throw up start to become unbearable. “She wants to s-see me...”

They don’t need to say anything else, Rae’s already connected the dots and her complexion has gone just as pale as theirs. She knows how sensitive and triggering this topic is for Y/N, how many bad memories are tied to this one person in their life. To make matters worse, they’re the one person who was supposed to take care of them yet she couldn’t even take care of herself - Y/N’s mother.

Rae distinctly remembers the night Y/N told her the truth about their family life - or the lack thereof - almost a year since the two had started dating. Rae never questioned their secretiveness and respected their privacy enough not to ask about it, patiently waiting for them to tell her on their own time and own terms. It was no secret even from the very start that Y/N had a very hard time connecting to people and trusting them. It took them maybe two or so months to be able to call their now-girlfriend a friend instead of an acquaintance. Rae didn’t question that too, didn’t push to pursue a friendship with them since, from her point of view, they were already her friend, so she patiently waited for them to come around and start trusting her enough to accept her within their tightknit circle of trusted people called ‘friends’. 

Things progressed from purely platonic to sweetly romantic a little more quickly which pleasantly surprised Rae. The two were quick to grow to be inseparable though that didn’t mean Y/N gave up all their secrets. The darkest one, which happens to be this one regarding their mother, is the one they hid the longest and the last one they had to share with their girlfriend.  The night they did tell it was a very emotional one: plenty of tears were shed by both Y/N and Rae but luckily they had each other’s embrace to seek comfort in and protect themselves from the ghosts and demons of a past Y/N spent so much time running away from.

An abusive parent is not a bit of baggage you can just get rid of. It’s something that weighs so heavy on you and is such a big part of who you are that you can feel it as a part of you. It haunts you no matter how much you try to run or hide. It’s not something you can shake off or forget. You might have physical and visible scars from the time spent with said parent or the trauma can be entirely psychological - regardless, it lives within you. Follows you around, raises questions you’re not sure you want answered, degrades you - making it seem like what happened was your fault in one way or another - it destroys you slowly very time something triggers a memory of that time, be it a simple conversation that has nothing to do with the subject or be it the glimpse you accidentally catch in the mirror of a scar on your body - a scar you remember being inflicted on you like it was yesterday.

That’s how Y/N’s been living. Feeling responsible, feeling unloved, feeling chained to their past. They’ve done all in their power to appear unbothered and let it be visible, not even when around Rae since they don’t want to worry her.

But seeing as their past has caught up to them now and they inevitably have to face it, they’re forced to let it show, they couldn’t hold it in even if they tried. Although they don’t wanna play the unbothered, unfazed part any longer. They have been strong on their own for far too long and it’s taken a toll on them. If they keep up with the act, they’ll be completely and utterly crushed.

Not that they’re feeling any better at the moment.

“Stay with me, Y/N. Stay with me. Keep your eyes on me, ok? Take deep breaths. Deep breaths, baby. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. It’s ok. You’re ok.“ Their short-circuiting brain has been spasming under the influence of the adrenaline, anxiety and panic brought on by the memories of every time they felt small and helpless while at the merciless hand of their alcoholic, drug addict abusive mother, begging to be spared the pain of being hit with whatever object the deranged woman could get her hands on - yet somehow, Rae’s voice still reaches them through all that messy dark fog. “Come on, Y/N, stay with me ok? Please don’t do this, I’m right here, there’s no need to be afraid,”

“I...“ they can barely hear their own voice over the racing of their heart, “I don’t...I don’t wanna go....“ is all they manage to say, a tear falling from their eye.

“It’s ok, we don’t have to go. We won’t go. Your mental health is the most important thing here, Y/N. We’re not going and that’s final.“ Rae replies vigorously, tightening her hold on Y/N’s hands.

Despite the state they’re in, Y/N can’t help but take notice of the use of the word ‘we’, Rae’s reminder that they are not alone, that she’s there for them and will not let them go into this alone. That brings a small smile to their face, calming their heart and panic ever so slightly, “N-no, I have to. It...it’ll help me.” They sigh before attempting to express themself again, “It’ll give me...closure, I guess.”

Seeing that Y/N’s doing a bit better, Rae’s hand move to cup their face instead, pushing the stray strands of hair away for their features to be full exposed to her, especially their eyes, “Are you sure you want that? Can you handle it? It’s not supposed to be your obligation, Y/N. I mean, the woman’s a monster and she hasn’t even thought to contact you in half a decade, and now she suddenly wants to get back in contact? She has the audacity to disturb you after all this time? You don’t have to agree to this, Y/N.”

Y/N shakes their head, “No, no, I want to. I want to agree to this. I want to live a normal life, Rae. I want to leave her and all she did to me behind. And I can’t do that if I keep running away. What happens when I stop to catch my breath? It still catches up to me like I made no progress whatsoever. That’s not a way to live, not the way I wanna live, at least.”

Rae nods slowly, fully understanding what Y/N is referring to. She maybe hasn’t said anything about it ever, but she’s always seen that little bit of darkness behind the happiness and excitement Y/N always displayed. Rae’s heart ached every time she caught glimpse of those little signs Y/N was putting on a performance while actually hurting on the inside. 

And if a meeting with their mother was what would help them finally fully embrace a happy life, then who was she to stop them.

“Ok.“ The girl sighs, “Ok, we’ll go see her, but only if you’re 100% sure you’ll be able to handle it.“

They shake their head again, sighing with unease, “I can never be 100% sure, my emotions have a tendency of being unpredictable so I’ll just have to pray I don’t have a breakdown or a panic attack.”

Rae swipes her thumb over their cheekbone wiping the tear that just escaped their eye, “If you do, don’t worry, I’ll be right there. You know the drill: squeeze my hand, take deep breaths and most importantly, don’t forget I’m there for you. Ok?”

Y/N nods their head, the small smile reappearing on their face. They squeeze Rae’s hand and take a long inhale. “Hand squeeze, deep breaths, noted.” They say when their eyes meet hers, “Thank you so much, Rae. Thank you so much for putting up with me and all my shit and thank you so much for never giving up on me no matter how much work I am or how hard dealing with me and my demons becomes.”

Rae’s heart stings at Y/N’s words, tears brimming her eyes when she raises a bit on her knees to press her lips against Y/N’s forehead. “Don’t thank me, angel. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you and I never want to get gratitude for it. Love doesn’t ask for gratitude, and neither do I.”

Y/N lets out a small laugh to cover up an emotional sob that escapes their lungs. “I love you, Rae.” They say with a trembling voice.

“I love you too, Y/N.“

This time, the Y/N’s lips met the lips of their girlfriend, reminding themself that their safe haven isn’t a place, it’s a person - their girlfriend who means the world to them.