#almost started crying in the college bookstore like I’m ALMOST DONE. it’s REALLY HAPPENING

[milk-lover]

YALL i picked up my cap and gown and sash and tassel today I’m so excited I’m so fucking excited I’m almost there I’m so close I’m almost done I’m almost done I’m almost done. Im like 12 steps from hells back door this is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. Fuck fuck fuck. It’s fucking HAPPENING YALLLLLL

[ukiyokki]

mars reads too much dreamnotfound fanfiction for their own good

a dreamnotfound fanfic recommendation list by your resident dumbass (me)

this took way to fucking long... i’m tired

below is a (very extensive) list dedicated to all my favorite dnf fics, ranging from quick one shots to 100k+ word monstrosities that devour the storage on my computer, forever incomplete masterpieces to ongoing works of art, you get the idea. i provided links for each fic/series for your reading pleasure. there will be no smutty/nsfw fics on this list, that’s just not my vibe lmao. this list goes in no particular order, and i’ll update it from time to time when i feel like it. now, without further ado, let us begin.

Heat Waves (complete) by tbhyourelame

(wtf else did you expect, looking at a dnf rec list?) amazingly well written, and while it’s not my favorite dnf fic it’s damn near close. in the midst of a brutal heatwave, a suffering dream comes to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with his best friend. everything i could say about this fic has already been said by nearly everyone who’s read it, so if you haven’t yet caved into the hype, just go for it. you won’t be disappointed.

Gonna be around (completed) by georgescatcafe

(mc irl) my favorite dnf oneshot to date. just read it, i don’t wanna spoil for you :)

Inferno in the Sky (ongoing)by zairielon

(star wars au) an ongoing star wars au currently clocking in at almost 200k words. need I say more? everything about it absolutely slaps, each chapter is amazingly written, and it’s just good. also, can we just appreciate dream and tubbos dynamic in here? 10/10, amazing, must protecc. oh right, a summary: george, an exiled padawan turned engineer, must return to the jedi temple after attacks on it from an unknown assailant threaten the safety of himself and the other jedi.

Like Magic (ongoing) by KangarooKen, NotGra55 (Gra55)

(harry potter au) the unofficial official dnf harry potter au. we watch the young unlikely wizard pair grow up together throughout their years at hogwarts as they battle good old fashioned wizard racism. beautifully written, incredibly fun and suspenseful, and just an overall blast and a half.

GeorgeNotFound, Son of Poseidon, and the League of Minor Gods (ongoing) by Clichewho_69, Cygnvs, Trash_Kinggg

(percy jackson au) percy jackson au? check. “road trip” (technically quest but u get what i mean)? check. enemies to friends to lovers? check. this fic follows the plot of the lightning theif (albeit loosely), but everything is explained enough where you don’t have to read percy jackson to understand what’s going on. basically after moving to the usa, george gets taken to camp halfblood where he learns that a) gods exist. b) he’s the son of poseidon and c) he needs to prove that he didn’t steal zeus’s master bolt.

Protected (completed) by aenqua

(royalty/camelot au) my favorite piece of dnf media of all time. dubbed the official dnf camelot au, where dream is the heir to the throne and george is a servants son with a secret that couldp get him killed. these childhood friends grow up together and learn trust, love, and acceptance. (that summary did not justice to the masterpiece that is this fic) here’s the directors cut

The Hunter (completed) by HederEgo

(mc irl) a choose your own adventure fic with 13 different endings, where dream the hunter must kill george and stop him from beater the ender dragon. enough said.

The official dream team cowboy AU (series)(ongoing) by antsu_in_my_pantsu

(cowboy au) cowboys and outlaws horses and shit. and the big gay. it’s a cowboy au, what else did you expect? fucking yee haw (all seriousness this is a great read, i loved it so so so so much and i can’t wait for the final chapter to release).

This is a Drista moment, let's just accept it (completed) by Qekyo

dnf fic from drista pov. considering its unique perspective, it’s perfectly done. beautifully showcases a sibling relationship through drista and her memories/moments with dream, and it just works, y’a know? also drista supremacy.

Dear Dream (completed) by Qekyo

(wwii au) i don’t cry when watching/reading anything sad. translation: i’m a heartless bitch. however, this fic is the only exception. it caused me to cry so hard my mom walked in my room and asked if i was ok. ‘nuff said.

TECHNOlogical Wingman (completed) by Closeted_Bookworm

techno is the autocorrect ai on dreams phone, and he gains sentience. interesting concept, and the author fucking nailed it. great fic.

It Was Only a Fic (ongoing) by imagineitdear

dream starts reading a dnf fanfic (we’ve all been there buddy).

Teacher’s Pet (ongoing) by niyuha

(teacher au) in which dream is a high school english teacher and george is the new comp sci teacher in room 297.

Saltwater Secrets (ongoing) by earlgay_milktea

(mermaid/high school au) a great example of the shear amount of variety in fics this fandom has to offer. when i started reading dnf fics i would have never thought i’d find one about a mermaid george hopelessly crushing on his human friend, who happens to be his schools star swimmer. yet here i am, and i am far from disappointed.

Smash My Heart (incomplete) by dontrollthedice

george and sapnap are commentators for duper smash brothers tournaments, and george develops a crush on an up and coming smash streamer named dream.

roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems (completed) by Alienu

laser tag. 10/10

solar system (completed) by quartzfia

(mc irl) george vists dream in pandora’s vault.

Ramblings of a Lunatic (completed) by jungkooksfic

ahh communicating through a notebook left on a shelf in a bookstore- what a perfect way to start a relationship.

Paint me like your French Girls (It's Charcoal, Actually) (completed) by Turtle_ier

(artist au) george is an art student, and dream is a model.

00:00:00 (completed) by isleofdreams

(soulmate au) 00:00:00 is the moment you meet your soulmate, as indicated but the clock ticking down on your wrist until the moment you meet. i’m not a fan of soulmate aus; this fic is the exception.

Blue Skies Smilin' At Me (completed) by kivy

(artist au) i don’t usually cry while reading stuff, but this brought me damn near close. george is a painting conservator and chats it is with the ghost of the artist if the painting he is working on. they fall in a love.

Current Location (incomplete) by hendollana

(influencer au) george simps for a hot american instagram model. who knew he’d actually follow back?

The Withering (series) (series ongoing, 1 work completed) by App1e_Juice

(mc irl) lore and world building and fight scenes and everything i crave. what’s not to love? something starts making the plants and crops around dreams village wither, and must team up with new friends to find the cause of the mysterious disease plaguing the land.

Minecraft, But You Can't Leave (complete) by facadecake

(mc irl) dream and george are sucked into their own private minecraft world together and must beat the game to escape.

Free The Game, Beat the End (incomplete) by goatgoatwasfound

(mc irl) a glitch in minecraft causes thousands of players from around the world to be trapped inside minecraft, with only one way of escape- beating the ender dragon. first dnf fic i ever read, and it’s still 10/10 for me.

Why don't you come a little closer? (completed) by lifeofandoms

george gets stood up by a date, and Dream pretends he’s the date to save george from the embarrassment. simply adorable.

lightning bug (completed) by saintachesP

(band au) while on tour, dream realizes his feeling for george.

Hold me closer (completed) by Treesofmyheart

(mc irl/dsmp) i just,, really like this trope.

Dizzy on caffeine (completed) by GleamingGreenGoggles

(coffee shop au) best dnf coffeeshop au i’ve read. periodt.

living a life of crime isn’t always easy (series) (completed) by itisjosh

(mafia/assassin au) stockholm syndrome except it’s not weird.

Inhibitions Make Interesting Situations (completed) by Ship_On_The_Sea

i pissed myself laughing. it’s just a dream and george being hilariously dense, flustered idiots. serotonin central.

thy eternal summer shall not fade (completed) by gracequills

(high school au) that moment when you recite shakespeare to your crush in your ap lit class instead of confessing (hate it when that happens).

All is Fair in love and Football (ongoing) by graciegirl2001

(college au) #1 favorite college au. in which george is a cheerleader, and dream is the football teams rising star player. this one gets extra points because of the amazing karlnap moments sprinkled throughout. *chefs kisses air*

online love (completed) by andbutso

(high school au) online classes go zoooooooom

Can’t help falling (completed) by isleofdreams

dream re-learns the guitar to sing to george on his birthday. beautiful. fluffy. amazing

dance in the rain and my arms (completed) by lazy_kitkat

george is a rain god, and dream is a wind god

Weather Boy (completed) by DaintyDiizzle

wouldn't you like to know, weather boy? (where dream can control the rain)

The color orange (completed) by anon

(mc irl) dream describes the colors of a sunset

Family Mode (completed)by Strawberry_flavoured_tears

they’re dads :,)

Breathing Room (incomplete) by papercranes

(band an) an amazing band au. the mad lad author wrote original songs for each chapter. above and beyond, mad props :). unfortunately, it’s incomplete

Piece of Clay (completed) by carbonbrine

(artist au) george is a sculptor and his sculpture comes to life- but oh no he’s hot.

Try (completed) by Not4typicalwriter

(royalty au) george must choose a suitor, but none of them are up to dream, his head knights, standards. or dream is hella jelly. also protective dream is perfect

When the Roses Bloom (completed) by HederEgo

(royalty au) close second for my favorite fic. go to royalty au for a quick serotonin bost. it’s all fluff and flowers and crushes, and i love it. criminally underrated.

Heavenstruck (ongoing) by dontrollthedice

george is dreams guardian angel, and dream want to find out more about him and his past life. bittersweet :,)

Bang and Burn (completed) by App1e_Juice

(spy au) george accidentally falls for target number 1 on sapnap’s secret agency’s hit list. this ones great, i love me a spy au :)

Can I get a uhh… (completed) by lemonskies

dream keeps pulling up to the drive through mcdonald’s that george works at drunk.

Pretty Stranger (completed) by anon

when looking for dream in the terminal, george sees a cute guy and decides to flirt.

Take my Hand (completed) by latinbias

(royalty au) another royalty au? poggers. surprise twists? double poggers. love this a lot.

seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes (complete) by meridies

ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP *inhales to compose herself* roadtrip au. unrequited love, ignored feelings, longing, pining, you know the drill. absolutely love this one, its the best roadtrip au i have ever read, in any fandom. (maybe cause i identify with it a little too much, but thats not important. whats important is that you read this fic. right now. im waiting).

Message redacted (complete) by justyouraverageloser

(text fic) dream asks for a girls number and realises hes been given the wrong number. however, an unexpected relationship starts to form between him and the stranger on the other end of the line.

the waves (completed) by anon

(mc irl) this fic was written by the same anon who wrote the color orange, which is up there on my fav dnf oneshot list. dream and george know they have a higher purpose. they don’t know where they came from, or why they are seemingly the only humans in the world, or how they feel about eachother, or even where the skeletons come from, but they are sure of one thing: they have to beat a dragon.

The Dream Doll (completed) by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza)

(voodoo i guess) i’m a real big fan of fics with really out there or unique concepts, so naturally this one makes the cut! i really liked it, it’s really sweet and made me think a lot about what matters to me in the world. george finds a strange doll in an antique shop, and would really like to just stuff it in a drawer and forget about it. sadly (?), the doll has other plans.

last updated February 6th, 2021

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #414

“mirror, mirror, tell me who you see  /  am i you or me?  /  i can never remember”

How many people have you kissed? Four. Ever kissed someone you weren’t dating at the time? No. Of the people you’ve kissed, how many do you regret kissing? Two. Ever been kissed by a legal adult when you were a minor (or vise-versa)? Yeah, with Jason, but it was only a two-year difference. Ever kissed someone on a dare/as part of a game? No. Where’s the most public place you’ve ever made out with someone? Nowhere public. I wouldn't do that. Can you snowboard? Never tried. Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone? No. Do you use recycle bins at your house? Yes. Do you own more than one bathing suit? No. Have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? Jason did occasionally with his best friend, but he stopped for me. How are you right this second? I'm all right. Last night was pretty rough, so I'm just glad that's over. My body is just tired. Is there anything you disliked about your last birthday? Honestly, I barely remember what I did on my last birthday. I just remember it was fine. Oh wait, actually, on the way home from going out to eat, we had to call the cops while behind a car whose driver was obviously drunk or high OFF. HIS. ASS. He was swerving like crazy and almost hit SO many cars. I was having an absolute panic attack. I pray to God that guy was more than just found and fined. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? No, unless you count surveys, I guess. What were you like a year ago? I was the unhappily the same. Is someone on your mind right now? Fucking always. Having a warm dream about him last night didn't help. Who was the last person you sat next to? My mom. What do you currently hear right now? My screen is split so I can watch John Wolfe play some indie horror games. What’s something you need to go shopping for? I need to get new bras baaaadly because I'm tired of none fitting properly. What’s the last thing you ate? I had a donut 'cuz Mom stopped at Dunkin' for coffee. Do/did you do good in school? I did up to college. Then I just... sucked. Do you always get along with your siblings? I mean I don't see/talk to them every day or anything, not even very regularly even, but we generally get along fine now as adults. We disagree about shit for sure, but keep our mouths shut. Or probably talk to Mom about it while I'm not present. I don't even think they like me half of the time. Are you frustrated with anything? So much. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? There were/are a lot of factors. Just she as a person is phenomenal. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. Can you speak in a different language conversationally; if so, which language? A tiny bit of German. Do you ever fear of falling asleep? With my nightmares, I used to dread it. Now, thankfully, my APAP mask has prevented them from happening, mostly; I've only had two in the month that I've had it, and I ordinarily had them every single night. Do you have an idea of what kind of profession you’d like to have? I do, but I honestly doubt I'm going to succeed in even making it a part-time job by this damn point. Which beach would you say is your favorite? I don't have a favorite. I don't even like the beach very much. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. Have you ever had a churro? Yes. Too crunchy and ridiculously sweet, not a fan. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? A good personality beats good looks any day. How is/was your chemistry class in high school? I actually didn't take chemistry; my graduating year, physical science was offered as the alternative, which I took. How does alcohol affect you? I get hot, and my face flushes badly. It'll make me more talkative. Have you ever tried lemon brownies? No, and I don't want to. I don't like lemon-flavored stuff like that. What was the last type of meat you ate? Beef. Have you taken any medication today? I have prescriptions I take every day. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? I've seen some of it at Sara's house. What is your favourite kind of pasta? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs, really. I've been on a major chicken pesto kick lately, though. Have you set an alarm today? No. Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: Literally just the chance to say "I'm sorry" would be fucking amazing. Just two fucking words. What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble? No. That'd be a waste of space, though. Not like I'm contributing much to society. Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? I dunno man, it depends on my mood and what I want in the moment. Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? No; I find it to be distracting. Is the last person you kissed yours? I hate this saying. She's her own person that belongs to nobody but herself. But to just go along with it and answer the question, no, we're not together. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? Welp, I'm halfway through 25, so. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? All of my siblings are. Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? No. Especially as I've aged, I'd say I'm pretty quick to accept if I've fucked up. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? Jason will probably always have that power, even if he's not in my life. Would you ever be a stripper? God no, nobody wants to see that. What are your plans for tomorrow? Just get through the day, man. Do you owe anybody money? No. How would your parents describe you? Reserved, shy, a deep thinker, animal lover, uhhhh... What is the most you have ever weighed? Let's not. Would you ever work at McDonald's? No. I'm never working in food service. If you aren't already, would you go vegetarian or vegan? I want to be a vegetarian and being a vegan would be perfectly ideal for me, but I really don't think I can healthily accomplish either. I am FAR too picky to where I'd almost definitely become malnourished. To make it even worse I absolutely cannot "suck it up" if I don't like a food, so it's not like I could choke down stuff I don't like. Not to mention I'd be pretty sad without any yummy food to look forward to, aha. Coolest person you've ever met? Uhhhh I don't know. Do you wear boxers? No. Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I don't remember. Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? I would absolutely love to. Did you see Paranormal Activity 2? I think I've seen all of the movies. I liked them, given paranormal horror films are probably my fave. What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass? Kick him in the fucking balls so goddamn fast and probably slap him across the face at the same time. Probably cry later from feeling violated and having my fear of men aggravated. Do you like moustaches? It depends on the person, but I'd say I generally prefer an attached beard and a mustache versus JUST a mustache. Could you hack into someone's computer if you tried hard enough? No. I have no idea how to do that. Have you ever smoked a cigar? No. Do you go out on Black Friday? Hell no. NOT worth fighting people for deals. Do you have curtains in your bedroom? No; I have those blinds that you can close upwards or downwards. Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Yeah, I did. Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song? I think I can. Do you get heartburn? I'm literally on an antacid prescription, or else I get insane heartburn every day. Are you scared of elevators? To a moderate degree, yes. I'm terrified of it getting stuck. Have you ever seen a dead body in person? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Have you ever seen The Goonies? I have. If you're white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa? I'm fine being Caucasian, but ultimately don't care. Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas? I don't bake. Do you like your hair pulled? Uhhh... I'm assuming you mean this in a suggestive context, in which case no. Never pull my hair, actually. What kind of jeans do you like? Ripped skinny jeans. What do you think is overrated? Who really cares. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. And what are your goals for the remainder of this year? Lose lots of weight, find a job, get back into old hobbies and develop new ones... Name a city that starts with A in your state/province etc. Asheboro. Name a landmark that starts with M in your state/province etc. I'm blanking right now. When was the last time you gave a horse a carrot? Been years. I think I've only done that once, and I can't even remember where it was. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? MM was just revived for its fifth season! :') Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? NC actually has this really old Wizard of Oz theme park! It's on the other end of the state, though, and NC is one wiiiiiide state. What was the last bird you saw? A robin, I think. What color was the last thing you drank? Green. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Besides insects, no. Well wait, scratch that, once or twice we had a small mice problem when we lived in the woods. What’s the name of the bookstores in your city? The only one I know off the top of my head is Books-a-Million. Where do your parents live? I live with my mom, and Dad lives in the same city as us. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No, but that would be cool. What colour are your father’s eyes? Brown. If your ex turned up on your doorstep now, with nowhere else to go, would you let him/her stay? Well one, this isn't my house, so I can't make that decision. My mom being who she is though, she'd let pretty much anyone stay the night. If it was Sara, Mom would let her stay as long as she needed. The last time you cried, was it connected with someone of the opposite sex? Ugh, yes. My PTSD was BAD last night. Delicious warm brownies or a giant cookie? I'll take the brownie. Have you visited a haunted building or area before? No, but damn I'd love to. Have you been to North Carolina? Ayyyyeeeee that's my home.

[hamburgerhelpersotherhand]

Almost Fate P2

Forty Quinn x Reader

Warnings: Nagging, other stuff probably

Notes: This is a sequel to an earlier writing of mine. I’m currently posting this because the other requests are taking longer for me to proof read. I guess it’s because I’m being pulled in multiple directions by school work? Surprisingly, the Visual Arts department was not built for online classes.

Part One -> https://hamburgerhelpersotherhand.tumblr.com/post/612751263373934592/almost-fate

RING!

What on earth is that noise?

RIIING!

You suddenly bolt off the bed you didn’t realize you were on. “SHUT U—“

Your roommate stands before you, one hand on her hip and the other holding out her phone. She turns off the ringer and stares you in the eye.

“So, now you wake up?” She says sternly. “Where were you last night? You didn’t pick up your phone.”

“It’s a long story.” You reply with attitude laced into your words. You hadn’t noticed it before, but you were now definitely aware of your hangover.

“How did I get in here? I didn’t have my keys last night.”

“I brought you in. You were passed out in front of the door.”

You gasp theatrically. “... Are you going soft on me now?”

“Never mind that, Y/N. Where is your bag? You had absolutely no ID on you. That’s dangerous.” Your roommate is starting to sound like your mother. You won’t admit it, but you kind of appreciate it on a good day. That’s not today. “Besides, you weren’t answering any of my texts or calls and you left the room a mess! I swear, the thought of you being kidnapped crossed my mind.”

“Please stop talking.” You blurt out and point to your head. “Migraine.”

“Then answer me this: Where is your phone and WHY isn’t it on you?”

“My phone?” You’re confused for a moment, but your memories catch up quickly. “MY PHONE! Dammit, I think I left it at the bar.”

“The bar? You were at a bar in the middle of the week nearing finals?” Here we go. “Y/N... I know you’re more responsible than this.”

“Look, I have today off. I can make it all better. I’ll even pick up a new textbook!” You give her a thumbs up, a symbol that everything will be alright.

“Something happened to your textbook?!” Oh okay, now you’ve really stoked the flames.

“While you’re already as pissed off as you’ll ever be, someone also snatched my purse with my dorm keys and wallet inside...” You’re already beginning to change into some clean clothing.

“Y/N, do you not care about your grades here?” Your roommate is looking more concerned than angry now.

“I do care.” You reply with a sigh. “Yesterday was just not my day. Nothing went how it should have and I really wish my closest friend was supporting me rather than nagging me.”

Ouch. She’s thinking over what you said. Honestly? That’s all you could ask for.

Never mind your roommate. You make your way out of your dorm, heading to the Student Services office to report your issue and get yourself a new key.

~

You don’t have a phone, no purse in sight and you definitely don’t have a wallet... but your new key is snuggly sitting in your back pocket and you find yourself with some cash in your secret pocket, given to you by the bar man you met last night.

You... really can’t remember his name, but you knew it was something odd.

While you do remember feeling guilty about the money, you also remember telling yourself to spend it well. Specifically to buy yourself a new textbook before class next week. Whatever is left can go towards your new phone.

Your mind is thinking of how funny it would be to suddenly run into your robber as you walk along the streets of Los Angeles. Would you ever see that hideous yet sentimental purse again?

You left campus a while ago, but didn’t bother getting yourself a cab. It wasn’t worth the little money you had.

Whatever. You need a textbook. Where do you find this exact textbook at this exact time of year?

A bookstore.

And this particular grocery store, which you so happen to find yourself walking by, seems to have one inside, lucky you!

~

You’ve stepped into Anavrin once or twice before.

You’ve never bought anything, though.

None of this appealed to you, but the first time you stepped foot in here, you followed behind your friend as she bought fresh lemons for a school project.

The second time you found yourself wandering Anavrin, you thought they would have a public bathroom. You didn’t bother asking, so if they did have one, you couldn’t find it and concluded that they did not.

Now, you found yourself wandering the rather pathetic excuse for a bookstore. You followed the alphabet and quickly made your way across. Your head was pounding and you felt restless. The faster you got this done, the sooner you could just sleep in a dark room and cry.

“Come here often?” You’re startled by a familiar voice and instantly recognize his stupid looking grin.

“Five.”

“It’s Forty.”

“Right.” For the sake of your own dignity, you hope not to make that mistake again.

“Wait. Let’s do another take.” He puts his hands up and turns around on his heel. “One, two, three...”

He spins back around to face you, a smile crossing his face once again. “Come here often?”

You can’t help but smile back and play along. “Only when I need a new textbook.”

“Oou, you think a grocery store carries college textbooks?” Hes cringing and you slap yourself in the face from a sudden wave of embarrassment.

How could you be so stupid...

“I’m kidding!” He puts his hands on your shoulders and lightly shakes you out of your own head. You definitely still feel that migraine. “They should be in storage and, since I’m feeling so incredibly generous, I’ll get Will to take them out for you.”

“Oh! Thank you!” You exclaim, very much surprised but mostly thankful for narrowly avoiding such an embarrassing scene.

“Hey old sport—“ He lets go of your shoulders and waltzes over to the bookstore clerk with an apron. You’re just out of earshot, but you can tell that this Will guy seems very disinterested in whatever Forty is saying.

While whatever happens over there happens, you begin to drift away and squint around at the rest of the store. You’re not particularly drawn to anything, but your head is killing you and you’re starting to really feel it.

Maybe... just maybe... you should of asked your roommate for a Tylenol or two.

“Are you doing okay?” He asks, a confused smile on his face. “You look like you’re about to burst into tears.”

“Heh, yeah. I think I might have a slight hangover. I’m fine though, really.” You’re smiling at him reassuringly.

His grin widens as he inhales. “I have just the remedy for your hangover!” His hands rest on your shoulders. “It’s called sleeping in.” Very funny. “Now, you probably haven’t heard of it but—“

You swat your hand infront of his face to grab his attention and frown. “I tried that but I have a bossy roommate.”

“Then maybe you should sleep over at my place.” His hands slide down to hug your forearms, his eyes are looking through yours for a reaction and you’re suddenly made aware of his statement.

“That’s—“

Thump!

“Your requested box.” Will huffs out and gestures downward.

You peer down to the large single cardboard box by your feet and immediately spot the familiar cover of the textbook you’re looking for. You reach down and fish it out of the box.

“This is it.” You say.

“Great! Hey, old sport... I’m gonna need you to bring that box back to where you found it.” Forty claps his hands together and Will reluctantly obeys. If only to get Forty out of his hair.

“Thanks for the help.” You say as you double-check the textbook in hand.

“It’s on me, so don’t mention it.” He gives you a charming wink. “Seriously though, don’t mention it because Calvin will have an aneurysm.”

He has quite the way with expressing himself. For the most part, Forty can keep a straight face as he describes the oddest of situations. You believe it’s one of the things that makes him a hoot to converse with.

“Do you have a phone number? I think my broken phone equals no phone number gag has run it’s course.” He states.

You cant help but laugh and nod your head. He hands you his phone and you quickly add yourself as a contact.

“I should get going now, before my roommate thinks I’ve gotten myself killed. Thank you again for the textbook!”

“See you around, Y/N.”

“Later, Five.”

“Forty.”

You did it again.

~

It’s been a couple days since you stepped foot into Anavrin.

The encounter with Forty was surprising and really did catch you off-guard. There’s a possibility that he had mentioned Anavrin by name and that it entered your subconscious when choosing where to go... but you felt that was too far of a stretch to call it your reality.

The equal possibility that you were fated to enter that exact building also crossed your mind, but you shot it down just as fast.

Well, anywho, you’ve gotten yourself a new phone with the same old phone number. Forty still hasn’t tried contacting you, but he may simply not be aware of your phone’s status.

Not that contacting you matters! You two are just acquaintances, right? Drinking buddies at most.

You’re currently sitting at the desk in your room, studying the useful new textbook Forty had given you free of charge.

It was very kind of him, but you really didn’t want this to become a regular occurrence. Not letting you pay and/or paying for you? That felt like a problem waiting to happen. Don’t get yourself wrong, you appreciate the gesture wholly, but you hate to be in a position of owing something to someone.

Like... that kiss.

Oh, look at you now. You’re blushing and you know it.

RING!

That’s... your phone. That’s your phone!

But wait, you’re studying. You really need to get your grades up with this final project if you want to stand a chance to get the hell out of this school.

But...... what good is studying if all you’re really doing is getting lost in your own head? You slam the textbook shut and answer the phone.

“Hello?” You say.

“Good, you gave me the right number. I almost believed you’d play me.”

“Is this Forty?”

“Hey! You got my name right.” He says excitedly. “So,” His voice moves into a whisper. “What are you wearing?”

“Um... sweatpants and a tank top?” You mentally slap yourself when you hear him chuckle and realize what the question implied.

“Hot.” He laughs and you smile embarrassingly. “Anyway, I would hate to cut into your studying but... Can I take you out tonight? I think you’d absolutely adore the place I had in mind.”

You feel you face heat up. “Uh— I finished studying earlier. What did you have in mind?”

“It’s a surprise, silly!” His tone likes to change a lot, as you’ve come to realize in your short time with him. “Wear something special for me, yeah? Okay, I’ll pick you up at 8.”

[artisticflutter]

AU Yeah August - Day Eighteen: Bookstore

I want to try covering all my favorite series at least once. Also, the chance to write more on this AU for Odin Sphere? Can’t pass it up lol. BTW, the AU is based off/around this post.

Series: Odin Sphere Rating: G Genre: General, Humor, slight Angst Pairing(s): Gwendolyn x Oswald Summary: Gwendolyn stops by a local bookstore to pick up the newest book in her favorite series. However, she recognizes the new clerk. Warning: No beta! Also, modern!AU set in college.

After weeks of hardwork and headaches, the time had finally arrived; the newest installment of the “Bluebird” series was finally available and Gwendolyn could not wait any longer to read it. She needed something good after all the housing issues and this would hopefully be that pick-me-up she was waiting for especially after the cliffhanger in the previous book.

Stepping inside the bookstore, the doorbell gave its usual chime to alert whoever manned the counter at this hour a customer had arrived. She eagerly approached the front desk and waited patiently for the clerk to come out.

Thinking about it, it had been a while since she’d come at this hour. She hadn’t seen Matthew and wondered if he found someone to cover this shift.

However, her eyes bulged when the backroom door opened and out he came carrying a freshly opened box filled with copies of the new “Bluebird” book. Yes, there was no mistaking the pale hair and red eyes of her ‘husband’ in the whole financial ordeal at school, but when had he started working at the bookstore? Hadn’t Cornelius said he worked at the bar Endelphia? Oh wait, he said that it was on the weekends.

Either way, Gwendolyn stood motionless, watching as he obliviously moved towards the counter and set the box down on the desk. He didn’t look up yet; instead, he moved to the computer next, probably logging back in for sales purposes.

She was confident in that assertion because he started talking before he looked up.

“Welcome to Matthew’s. How can I help… you…?”

Oswald’s voice trailed and he was staring back, his expression one of being caught in the wrong place. Gwendolyn said nothing, staring back, but feeling her nerves begin to betray her. This was so awkward, she didn’t know whether to cry, laugh, or book it out… 

Unfortunately for her, the smallest ‘snrk’ slipped from her lips. Slapping her hands over her mouth, she was mortified. He was still motionless, but she could see the red growing on his face. Only when she was certain another laugh wouldn’t come out did she lower her hands.

“I-I’m sorry! I wasn’t laughing at you; I’m just… surprised to run into you here,” she tried to explain, but wasn’t sure if it was helping. She was never as elegant as Griselda, but wow could she be any worse right now? “You never mentioned working here…”

“... I don’t. I’m covering for Cornelius today. Last minute emergency, but Matthew understands.”

“Oh…” Trailing, her brows furrowed because this couldn’t be legal, but Matthew was the owner. And not that Oswald was a bad person, but… huh, Cornelius trusted his cousin that much. She wondered how often something like this might happen. “It is slow at this time so… I guess no harm anyway.”

Oswald nodded, the color finally receding from his cheeks as he cleared his throat. “Anyway, can I help you find anything?”

“Not… really. Since you have it right there,” she said, gesturing to the book. He looked to the box and she looked down as he turned back her way. “I pre-ordered a copy…”

“Huh… I didn’t know you would be into this series.”

“I guess I never mentioned it.”

They’d been talking about everything they’d need to do about getting this paperwork done, they hadn’t even done the basics. Maybe tonight she would suggest they try getting to know each other better. Cornelius had only said so much and wanted her to try being friends with his cousin. If they’d done that sooner, this wouldn’t be so weird. Quietly, she watched him type into the computer again and soon scan the book’s barcode, telling her the price after. She paid and accepted both book and change with a ‘thank you’, but she didn’t immediately leave once the exchange was completed.

“... Oswald, what… what would you like for dinner tonight?”

“Hm?”

Several books in his hand to register into the computer, she noticed he took a moment to process what she asked, and he almost seemed unsure on how to answer. Why was that? Setting the books down slowly, he seemed to hesitantly reach an answer.

“... I actually have a sweet tooth. I would be better at picking out dessert.”

“... Oh.”

That… of all the things to learn today, she didn’t anticipate that. He was red again and looking down, scanning in the books slowly to make sure they entered the system. For how glower he could appear, Gwendolyn thought this was almost cute. She sighed to hide a soft giggle, and smiled.

“Leave dinner to me then. Why don’t you pick something up for dessert after your shift ends?”

“Huh?” His eyes were up then down, and up again. When they fell next, they did with a nod. “I’ll do that.”

“Okay. Then I’ll see you at home.”

With a little more of her earlier enthusiasm in her step, Gwendolyn walked towards the door. It was an experience learning about her ‘husband’ today, but they were both in on this matter together. Tonight, it was time to make an effort on getting to know more about what brought him to this, and to find out more about him in general.

[justanotherboyinblue]

Unusual Asks

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? spotify!! 

is your room messy or clean? ...depends if i don’t have company, or i haven’t been made to clean it, it’s relatively messy. well. it’s not messy to me, because i know where everything is and why things are...not...put away, but messy to Literally Everyone Else

what color are your eyes? brown!

do you like your name? why? i Love my name mostly because i chose it and i like how it sounds I Just Think It’s Neat

what is your relationship status? taken! i have two beautiful partners that i love very very much

describe your personality in 3 words or less Chaotic Disaster Gay

what color hair do you have? also brown dkjbsgalk

what kind of car do you drive? color? i don’t drive! don’t have my license yet

where do you shop? anywhere and everywhere alksjdb meijer? ig?

how would you describe your style? Grunge

favorite social media account discord! ‘s how i talk to my babies :3

what size bed do you have? a twin! v comfy, v bouncy

any siblings? unfortunately two brothers both are Assholes

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? switzerland honestly first of all, lgbtq+ has been legal there since 1942 like look at them Go oh my gosh also! i love german, it’s such a fascinating language but the biggest reason? that’s where moje rojena wants to live

favorite snapchat filter? i don’t have snapchat, and don’t really plan to kjasbdl

favorite makeup brand(s) don’t wear it! the only thing i use is chapstick lmao a wonderful vanilla chapstick by Eos

how many times a week do you shower? sometimes every night, but mostly every other night! so three or four

favorite tv show? oh gosh there are so many she-ra is probably at the top i love supernatural, and elementary, bbc sherlock, person of interest, steven universe there are a bunch of amazing shows i love!

shoe size? i think i wear like a ten and a half quadruple e do with that as you will

how tall are you? 5′4 i think probably

sandals or sneakers? flip flops!! or barefoot kadjbsgl

do you go to the gym? i don’t think i’ve ever even seen the inside of a gym

describe your dream date cuddle pile some show or movie on tv So Many Blankets but the most important thing the Most Important thing is that my babies are with me and that’s all i really need

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? i don’t have any cash, but i have like a little over $50 on my card

what color socks are you wearing? white with gray designs

how many pillows do you sleep with? normally three, but i’ll bring in another three if i want to build a Nest:tm:

do you have a job? what do you do? no job! i think my first job will be working at my local library

how many friends do you have? uhhhhhhh no idea a dozen? idk maybe half a dozen i really have no idea, and i have a horrible memory

what's the worst thing you have ever done? I Will Not Divulge Such Information

what's your favorite candle scent? there’s this one candle we have that’s tide+kelp scented but it just smells like a speedstick it’s awesome

3 favorite boy names Leo (obviously) Tobias Axel

3 favorite girl names L(again, obviously) Celeste i’ve always loved the name Andromeda as well! 

favorite actor? Ezra Miller!! they’re a nonbinary icon, first of all, and they’re an amazing actor in my opinion! they’re Credence in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and Barry in Justice Leauge

favorite actress? hmmmmmmmmmm probably Margot Robbie tbh love her stuff also? have you seen the trailer for Birds of Prey? we Stan

who is your celebrity crush? don’t have one kjdsablg

favorite movie? oh gosh I Cannot Choose A Favorite Anything Okay i love Avatar(the one with the blue aliens not the Disgrace Of A Movie), and The Dark Knight, Captain Marvel, Abominable, and so many others

do you read a lot? what's your favorite book? i do! i used to read almost a full book every day Finding Me by Katheryn Cushman is really good, and so is Five Feet Apart, i love the Divergent series too!

money or brains? brains duh, if you’re smart you can make more money but if you’re an idiot with money what happens when you run out

do you have a nickname? what is it? not really kjabdsga my partners have their nicknames for me of course, but with my actual name you can’t have a lot of nicknames Leo calls me Q, i’ve been called Stefano and Viktor, one friend used Quimberly for a while akjfgbslkdfg

how many times have you been to the hospital? other than when i was born, i think only the once!

top 10 favorite songs Here We Go sweet tooth-Scott Helman adderall- Max Frost bambi- Hippo Campus roxxane- Arizona Zervas grixtronics- GRiZ iSpy- KYLE truth hurts- kidz bop (fuck off it slaps) walk man- TMG mr.clean- Yung Gravy peach scone- Hobo Johnson

do you take any medications daily? nope! 

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) definitely oily

what is your biggest fear? Ya Boi Out Here With Abandonment Issues

how many kids do you want? i’ll stick with my fur babies thank you very much

what's your go-to hairstyle? in my face covering my right eye so i can’t see with it because it annoys my mother and i think i look Hot

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) medium i would think? we don’t have a second floor or a finished basement, but i’ve never had to bunk with either of my brothers so

who is your role model? no one specific! just, kind people, yk? 

what was the last compliment you received? i think it was on...monday? when Leo kept telling me i was adorable XD

what was the last text you sent? to a gc with my partners saying i was going mia because I Have The Right To Not Interact With Anyone For Several Days And Watch Movies  no i will not be taking criticism

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? like somewhere from seven to nine i think i have no idea dude, i have the memory of a goldfish

what is your dream car? .... 1967 black chevy impala

opinion on smoking? bad for you, love the smell, not gonna tell you to stop, will just worry quietly in the corner because i won’t tell you what to do with your life

do you go to college? nope! still in high school, i probably won’t go to college tbh

what is your dream job? owning my own bookstore! with a cafe a cat cafe i have it planned out to a concerning degree

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? i’ve lived in one place my entire life and it’s on the side of the highway with no neighbors so Suburbs Be Like Scary

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? oh absolutely

do you have freckles? no and i’m salty about it

do you smile for pictures? of course! never with my teeth tho because my canines are halfway up my face :)

how many pictures do you have on your phone? don’t have a phone! i have a Whole Bunch on my computer though

have you ever peed in the woods? did not work out tried once Never Again

do you still watch cartoons? of course i do i’m gay it’s legally required

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonald's? i’ve never had McDonald's nuggets but Wendy’s has the best for sure

Favorite dipping sauce? ranch or campfire sauce

what do you wear to bed? pajamas???? in winter it’s long sleeve tees with fuzzy pants in summer it’s basketball shorts and whatever twenty-year-old shirt i can find in my closet

have you ever won a spelling bee? i’ve never entered one so no homeschool for the win

what are your hobbies? Anything On A Screen and books mostly books on a screen but i’ll occasionally pick up a paperback also food and swimming

can you draw? s o m e t i m e s

do you play an instrument? i played guitar for a while, but i broke one of the strings and don’t have the tools to replace it i really want a ukelele

what was the last concert you saw? i went to a college campus for four days with my youth group, and a band named Sing Love played every night

tea or coffee? Neither

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Also Neither i’ve been to starbucks one time and it was the most disappointing drink i’ve ever had i am a loyal biggby customer  even though i haven’t been there in over a year

do you want to get married? not in the traditional sense i couldn’t even if i wanted to because the us said No Polyam Rights

what is your crush’s first and last initial? L.R. + L.G.

are you going to change your last name when you get married? probably! or we’ll both take a new one together

what color looks best on you? warm colors!! i do look Fabulous in a nice cool forest green though

do you miss anyone right now? Of Course I Do I’m In A Long Distance Relationship With Two People

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed if it was open my asshole cat would eat all my hair ties and my fairy lights

do you believe in ghosts? nope! 

what is your biggest pet peeve? uh people who assume? ig?

last person you called? Leo XD

favorite ice cream flavor? mint chocolate chip!!

regular oreos or golden oreos? The Golden Ones  they taste like lemon even if they’re not the lemon ones i love it

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? i don’t like sprinkles because i’m a Monster

what shirt are you wearing? i’m Not It’s Hoodie Season

what is your phone background? my tablet backgrounds are Leo and L because i’m a Sap

are you outgoing or shy? Both i’m getting a lot better in the confidence department, but i still get nervous and overwhelmed sometimes!

do you like it when people play with your hair? I Cry Every Time and so does Leo it’s adorable

do you like your neighbors? if i did i would hate them because i Can

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? not outside of the shower

have you ever been high? nope

have you ever been drunk? nope

last thing you ate? leftover itallian mac n cheese

favorite lyrics right now ..... ................. raindrops on rose and whiskers on kittens~ sTICKING-

summer or winter? winter!!

day or night? night, of course

dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk! or dark with sea salt

favorite month? hm maybe august because it’s just starting to get cold, but you can also still swim on the warm days

what is your zodiac sign pisces! as i’m sure is obvious

who was the last person you cried in front of? my mother Because Leaving Me Alone For Five Minutes Is Impossible

thank you Luxet for the questions!

[avengerofyourheart]

Flour Girl {14} (Bucky x reader AU)

Characters: reader, Bucky.

Summary: Discovering the cute guy you just flirted with is the heir of a rival bakery, you suddenly find yourself running into him all over the city. Can your small boutique bakery compete? And how do you deal with the guy who seems determined to make your life a living hell? Luckily you’re distracted by a secret admirer…But who is he? (Inspired by “You’ve Got Mail”, Enemies to Lovers)

Warnings: none! Mild swearing?

Word Count:  3.3k

A/N: Heyooooo. Let’s go to the Farmer’s Market!!! :D Honestly, Central Park in the Autumn is something I’ve actually experienced and I loved it, so even just writing about it and imagining a Farmer’s Market there.... *swoon* :) Add in Bucky, and I would probably die. ha! I hope you’re ready for this! I’m excited to hear your thoughts, any feedback is appreciated! <3

<<Part 13    Part 14     Part 15>>  

Flour Girl Series Masterlist

Full Masterlist

____________________________________________________

Sunday morning broke with clear skies and unusually high temperatures predicted; the makings of a gorgeous day. Since Thursday when Bucky proposed joining you at the Farmer’s Market, you’d continued to find each encounter you had with him more pleasant than the last. After the grocery store, you, of course, saw him at the Nest each morning, but he also happened to be at the bookstore where you went to browse and unwind Friday evening.

It turned out that you shared similar tastes in books and even had a lively discussion about who your favorite authors were. You each challenged the other to read something they normally wouldn’t and then planned to report back with thoughts on the books. That night as you tucked into bed with the book, you found yourself excited about the prospect of more time spent together. It all seemed to come out of nowhere, but you couldn’t deny the light flutterings of butterflies in your stomach at the thought of Bucky.

During those few days, you continued to hear from B, you both still maintaining that air of mystery. He was still as sweet as ever, confusing your heart and head along with the added newness of whatever was happening with Bucky. Both were mostly pushed out of your head on Saturday, since it was your busiest day of the week. You spent the early hours baking double what you did during the week so you could spend more time helping Wanda with customers.

That night after work, you were exhausted, so catching up on some TV followed by some reading before bed was all that was in the plans.

Sunday, you woke up surprisingly early, for a day that you actually had the option to sleep in. You made some breakfast and drank your coffee, then changing your outfit three times before you were satisfied. There really wasn’t any need for you to dress up, since Bucky had already seen you in your worst, sickest state, but part of you just wanted to gussy up a little, even more for yourself than for him.

Just before 9am, you decided to head out early and enjoy a leisurely walk to the park to spend time there until Bucky arrived. The weather was perfect as predicted, sun shining with a light breeze, and your sweater was just perfect for warmth. Settling on a bench, you pulled out your phone and replied to a ‘Good morning’ text you had received from B earlier.

FG: Good morning, Bernard! Happy Sunday. Plans for today? I’m enjoying a leisurely morning out in the sunshine.

B: I’m happy you’re taking the morning off! You work too hard. I’m enjoying  quiet Sunday morning as well.

He followed that message shortly with a picture of a Belgian waffle with strawberries and whipped cream, probably purchased from a food truck that traveled around to different locations in the city. “Mmmm waffles” was his caption and you replied in turn with heart eyes and drooling emojis. Minutes later, he sent a link to a youtube video with the caption “Made me think of you.:)”, which caused your heart to skip a beat.

Plugging in your headphones, you slipped a bud in one ear and pressed play. The video was a clip of a stand-up comedian you had heard about, John Mulaney. He opened his monologue with a mention of how he ‘zones out’ often, which you had to admit was relatable, but he then shared an anecdote about the Beatles, how none of them had mustaches and then suddenly they all had mustaches. At that point, you were laughing near the point of hysterics. For the sake of strangers nearby, you tried your best to laugh quietly with a hand over your mouth.

Eventually, you began to calm down and the video ended, so you returned to the message and typed out a reply.

FG: Oh my god, I should not have watched that in public. I think I hurt myself from holding in the laughter.

You hit send with a crying/laughing emoji. Those three dots popped up and you waited for a reply, but when you saw it arrive, your breath caught in your throat.

B: I’d give anything to hear you laugh.

Frozen in shock, you blinked, noticing the three bouncing dots as he continued to type. What the hell did that mean? He wanted to hear you laugh…as in…what? The anticipation was fraying your nerves so when the message popped up, you read it eagerly.

B: FG…could we meet? I know what happened last time was awful and I had no intention of hurting you, then or now. I swear to you that if you give me another chance, I will move mountains to be there. I’d like to explain everything and I would prefer to do it in person. What do you say?

Staring at the open message, you read it over and over again until the words began to blur before your vision. Was he serious? After all this time, suddenly he was making promises again? Part of you wanted to instantly say yes and take the leap, but reason and previous rejection held you back. Why now? What had changed? You had believed him last time when he said he wanted to meet, so you weren’t so quick to trust this time.

Unsure of how long you had been staring at the message, you must have been lost in your thoughts because suddenly a hand was waving in front of your face to gain your attention.

“Y/N?”

Jolting to the present, you followed the hand and looked up to see Bucky standing before you with a mildly concerned smile upon his face. He looked really good, you noticed right away. Dressed casually in well-fitting jeans and boots matched with a t-shirt and button-up plaid, then topped with a leather jacket, you gawked for a moment too long before answering.

“Hi! Sorry, I, uh…sorry,” you apologized profusely while locking your phone, shaking off the message still imprinted behind your eyes. “Just got caught up in something. How are you?”

Bucky laughed lightly as you stood up from the bench. “I’m good, how’ve you been?”

“Not bad,” you replied reflexively. “It’s a gorgeous day to be in the park. Shall we?”

“Absolutely,” he said, gesturing for you to lead the way. “This weather is insane. It almost feels like Spring in October.”

“Right?” you exclaimed, smiling brightly. “I’m not complaining.”

Small talk continued for a few minutes as you walked, then touching on work and how both bakeries were busy and doing well. Bucky then asked about how and why you decided to open City Sweets. You opened up more about baking with your mom before she passed and you feeling at home and closer to her in the kitchen. You went to college for a few semesters, but couldn’t settle on a major that interested you. Always returning to the idea of baking, you ended up taking a culinary course for some professional lessons and then worked wherever you could to gain experience.

The wish of opening your own bakery kept drifting to the forefront of your mind, so after taking a few business classes and coming up with a business plan, you made the leap using the money your mom had gifted you upon her death. It was one of the hardest, most stressful things you had ever done, but also the most rewarding. City Sweets was almost a year old. You were finally starting to make a profit and you hoped that it would continue to grow and blossom in the future.

Realizing how long you had been talking, you shifted the subject to Bucky. “What about you? What made you want to major in business?” you asked as you kept walking, the Farmer’s Market a few hundred yards ahead.

Bucky was silent a moment, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. “Um…I don’t know, really. I mean, I grew up helping my dad at the bakery and he always wished he’d had more business experience before he started. Most of the time it was just trial and error for him. So, I kind of just fell into it. I didn’t have a strong desire to major in something, so business seemed as good as any. I think that might be why I was so jealous of you when we first met,” he admitted, catching your eye.

Reeling toward him in shock, your jaw dropped. “What? You were jealous of…me? Why?”

He smiled sheepishly. “Because…you found your passion and you went after it. I think you’re doing an amazing job, too. Even from a business perspective, I mean, you’re in a good location with foot traffic, the bakery is cozy but not too small, you’ve branched out to wholesale deliveries, and from what I can tell, your ingredients quality to food cost ratio seems ideal. All within the first year, that’s impressive,” Bucky beamed at you, his gaze then moving toward the market as you two approached.

You took in his words, nearly speechless a moment from his kindness and positive overview of the bakery. “I, um….thank you. That means a lot to me, Bucky,” you quietly replied, almost overcome with emotion.

He just nodded. “Well deserved. I’m just sorry that I made you doubt that because of my own insecurities. I can’t apologize enough, Y/N,” Bucky said sincerely, pausing just before you reached the displays of fresh vegetables.

Pausing as well, you turned toward him and held his gaze a moment longer than usual. “I forgive you, Bucky,” you told him, knowing in your heart that you meant it.

Hearing the explanation of his previous behavior and seeing how much your interactions together had changed over the past few weeks, you held no more resentment for him. It took too much energy to hold a grudge, anyway.

“Thank you, Y/N,” he replied gently, feeling a spark of something between you as you held his gaze.

The moment passed, though, as he glanced at the first produce stand, breaking eye contact. You finally took a look around as the gentle breeze rustled through the treetops. The sound mixed with music that you previously hadn’t noticed and as it registered, you thought back at the video that B had sent the other day. He hadn’t been far from where you currently stood that day. Lost in your thoughts, Bucky’s voice broke through them.

“Y/N?” he prompted, apparently not for the first time because he had an amused, patient smile on his face. “Are you okay?” Bucky asked, noticing your distracted nature.

“Yeah!” you replied, a little too loudly. “Um…yeah, I’m good. Sorry.”

Shaking your head, you walked to the table of produce and marveled at the colors and freshness.

“Oooh, beets,” you cooed, picking up a bunch of the red root vegetable with green stalks still attached. “I’ve been thinking about using more natural forms of food coloring at the bakery and I’ve heard beets are good for that. What do you think?” you asked in anticipation, glancing Bucky’s way.

He smiled at your enthusiasm. “Yeah, I’ve heard that too. I think it’s a great idea,” Bucky agreed, picking up a head of lettuce.

The morning passed, finding yourself enjoying Bucky’s company as you perused the table of each vendor selling their wares. You felt the happiest you had in a long time, finding a lightness and comfort as you talked and laughed with Bucky. Sometime later, you turned down the street toward the area where crafts were sold when you spotted a familiar food truck. Stopping mid sentence, you wandered forward and confirmed that yes, this was indeed where he had been according to the sign.

B had been here in this very spot, holding a waffle. It had been over an hour since his message, but you couldn’t stop yourself from glancing around at the people, wondering if perhaps he was still there. You had no way of knowing, but still…

“Y/N? Did you hear me?”

“Hm?” you quickly replied, blinking.

“I asked if you wanted a waffle. Where did you go just then?” he asked with more concern this time. “What’s going on with you? If you want to cut the morning short, that’s okay, but—“

“No!” you nearly shouted, then feeling terrible about your behavior. You didn’t want to say goodbye, but your attention seemed to be split despite efforts to remain in the moment. “I mean… it’s not that. It’s not you, I’m so—“

“Don’t apologize again,” Bucky kindly interrupted. “You don’t have to, it’s just…you can talk to me if you want to,” he offered sweetly.

You felt your resolve crumbling, wondering if Bucky would mind if you mentioned another guy or if he would just find it odd for you to be corresponding with a stranger. Biting your lip, you rolled it around in your head and came to the conclusion that you might as well get a second opinion on this mess. If he wasn’t as understanding as you expected, then at least you would know his character a little better. Taking a few steps, you settled in a chair at a small table outside the Belgian waffle food truck and gestured for Bucky to do the same.

Taking a deep breath, you began. “It’s kind of a long, weird story…”

_________

You sat in silence a moment, allowing Bucky to process what you had just finished sharing. It sounded crazy, even to your own ears, but Bucky had become a friend somehow over the past few weeks and it seemed like he truly wanted to know what was on your mind. Fiddling with the bag of vegetables resting on the table, you waited until he was ready to respond.

“Wow,” Bucky finally spoke, his gaze off in the distance. “That’s quite a unique way to meet someone.”

You scoffed at that with a shrug. No point in denying it.

“So…you like this guy? Even though you don’t know anything about him?” he asked gingerly, brow furrowed.

Letting out a sigh, you thought about it for the hundredth time and came up with the same answer. “Yeah. I think I do. Is that crazy?”

He shrugged this time. “I don’t know. Crazier things have happened. I can’t think of any at the moment, but…”

You chuckled at that and gave him a playful shove.

“Sorry, sorry,” he replied with a laugh. “But you’re willing to give him another chance, even after he stood you up? No wonder you blew up at me that day at the Nest, by the way. I’m sure I just made a bad situation worse.”

Feeling a warmth in your face, you spoke up. “I really shouldn’t have, I—“

“No, no,” he gently interrupted. “No need to apologize, I needed that wakeup call.”

Smiling gratefully, you thought about his previous question. “I know it might seem naive of me, but…I don’t know. I guess I just want to find out for sure if he is who I imagine him to be. If somehow I’m disappointed once again, then at least I’m not left wondering. I just don’t want to go through life with regrets, you know?”

Bucky was silent again, the corners of his mouth curving upward. “Yeah. That’s a good point. I don’t think it’s naive of you to think the best in other people. It’s a great quality, actually,” he complimented as he placed a hand on top of yours resting on the table.

You felt that electricity again, meeting his gaze for a lingering moment. Opening your mouth to speak, you were interrupted by an alert from your phone. Reluctantly, you retrieved your hand and searched through your bag for the device. A previously set alarm had gone off and suddenly you noticed the time.

“Oh, no. I have to get back to the bakery,” you told him regretfully as you stood and gathered your bags.

“Of course,” Bucky replied, getting to his feet. “I’ll walk with you.”

Grateful that your revelation hadn’t ruined your morning outing or time with Bucky, you nodded with a smile.

“Okay.”

__________________

Stepping off the subway at your intended stop, you climbed the stairs up to street level. This wasn’t a part of the city that you visited often, but it was a nice change of scenery. Nervously wiping damp hands on your jeans, you crossed the street and headed for your destination.

After your lovely and unexpected morning with Bucky in the park on Sunday, he walked you home and you unlocked the bakery after saying goodbye. Your mind was a mess of thoughts as you went about your usual tasks of setting up chairs, brewing coffee, and baking fresh pastries to sell for the day. No deliveries on Sundays, so it was less of a rush to get everything ready. By 11am, you turned over the sign to read “Open” and the work day officially began.

You didn’t mind manning the shop on your own on Sundays. The atmosphere was much more relaxed and the weekend crowd seemed to enjoy lingering with their coffees and croissants. There was a lull in business for half an hour and during that time, you nearly drove yourself crazy trying to decide how to respond to B. Your talk with Bucky had helped, but there was still a lot to consider.

Finally, you pecked out a reply and quickly hit send before you could rethink it.

FG: One more chance. I’m trusting you. Please don’t make me regret it.

He replied quickly, which you were grateful for. The wait was always the worst.

B: I won’t, I promise. I hope I can make it up to you. Tell me when. But would you mind if I chose the where?

Puzzled, you thought it over and settled on Tuesday afternoon. The bakery usually wasn’t terribly busy and it gave you some time to prepare to be gone later that day. When B told you where he wanted to meet, you were surprised, but also intrigued. As far as recognizing one another, the same rule applied, so you dug out the crumpled Beatles t-shirt you had thrown in the closet after the previous incident and put it in the wash.

Now, as you wore the shirt with jeans and a jacket, you felt the butterflies in your stomach with each step. Approaching the notable area where B had asked you to meet him, your eyes grew wide at the beautiful buildings that housed some of the greatest artists and performers in the city. The Square was enclosed on three sides by beautiful, glass-covered and columned buildings that offered an air of sophistication. Per his instructions, you headed for the center of the square where a fountain resided.

Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts was the home to the New York Philharmonic, the Metropolitan Opera, the New York City Ballet, and the New York City Opera. It was also adjacent to the Juilliard School where many of the greatest musicians and artists were taught. This area of the city was incredible and awe-inspiring, especially if one was lucky enough to get tickets to such an event. However, in the afternoon, it was mostly filled with tourists, which is why you were all the more curious about why B chose this spot.

People were milling about and taking pictures as you heard a string quartet playing a classical music piece. The group of young musicians were loosely surrounded by a crowd and a cello case was open with bills and coins dropped inside. Starving artists and all that. Just as you were about to sit down beside the fountain, the song changed and you froze. You knew that tune. You’d know it anywhere.

Ah, look at all the lonely people…

You heard the lyrics in your head, recognizing it as “Eleanor Rigby” by The Beatles. Stunned, you turned toward the sound and slowly began to approach the quartet. You watched them, mesmerized, until you heard your name being called. It was the last thing you expected to hear, so it took a moment for it to register. Turning around, you followed the voice and saw…him.

Confused, you took a step forward and opened your mouth to speak before you looked down and saw the t-shirt he was wearing. The Rolling Stones.

In that moment, it all came together in your head and the blood drained from your face.

“You?”

_____________________

Part 15>> 

________________________________________________________

Ahhh!!! Cliffhanger!!! I know, I know, I’m sorry. I think we all know who B is, but a little more waiting until we find out her reaction. What would you think if he brought you all the way out to Lincoln Square with a stringed quartet and everything?? Hmmm. It’s about to go down, you guys. :D Wasn’t that walk through the Farmer’s Market lovely? That conversation about “B” was kinda meta, though. heh. At least Bucky didn’t confirm or deny anything! I think he really did want to hear straight from her mouth that she was falling for him. Kinda. ;) Please let me know your thoughts!! Any and all feedback is appreciated! I adore you guys. Thank you. <3

Permanent Tag list and FG tag list are CLOSED. 

Permanent tags: 

@pietrotheavenger @thisismysecrethappyplace @part-time-patronus @feelmyroarrrr @ria132love  @interestedbystanderwrites @abovethesmokestacks @hymnofthevalkyrie @spideypnw @badassbaker @janeyboo @palaiasaurus64 @dustycelt @mylittlefandomfanfictions @officialcaptain-marvel @maryehudson @sebbytrash @bionic-buckyb @sebastianbarnesandchrisrogers @jaybird6232 @bemystucky @averyrogers83 @beccaanne814 @eyesofgoldenambers @missmotherhen @bunnieandcrow @mizzzpink @buckysberrie @imaginingbucky @deathbyarabbit @avengersandchill @timeladylaurel @indominusregina @queen-merc @vaisabu @1800-peggys-orange-lipstick @piensa-bonito @msshadowboxer @coffeeismylife28 @withahintofpestoaioli @cant-decide-at-this-moment @jaderbugz @blue1928 @jbarnes87 @whothehellisbella @captainrogerss @sebseyesandbuckysthighs @themcuhasruinedme @buckybarneshairpullingkink @ilovebeingjoyful @maririn @hello-sweetie-get-the-salt @girlwith100names @writingruna @lokiandbuckyaremine @hufflepuff-ish @pixierox101 @supernatural-girl97 @stay-wokke @airixaram @buckyssxxhair @buckys-newarm @lostinspace33 @poealsobucky @buckyofthemyscira @joannie95 @4theluvofall @im-a-light-child @1999yanira @escapetheshackles @lbouvet @black-eyed-bucky @finhabastos

FG tags: 

@yallneedtrek @lexie-mo  @flowercrownsandmetallicarms  @kingcarterprince @snuggleducky @acunningstargazer @zadyalyss @satans-knitting-club   @honey-bee-holly  @just-add-butter @captainradicalpassion @chook007 @peekingsunshine @odinhson @chrisevans1fan @fangirlwithasweettooth @angryteapot @srhls @jurassicbarnes @livingoffsavvyillusions @ahufflepuffbitch @sebbystanlover-vk @thisismyfriend-tree @susmita121 @fandom-addict-aesthetics @lowkeybuckyb @jitterbuck @lunarcajun @aligatorinavest @isnt-the-blog-youre-looking-for @lilyblack78910 @uservalkyrie @hawaiiantozier @belledamsceno @lukeyasheycalymikey @nsfwfangirl

[sukunasdirtylaugh]

Surprise Me  (2/?)

Word Count: 2.6k

Pairing: Bucky x Female Bookstore Reader

Summary: Bucky finally decided to go out to the city. ( I really want to say more but this story will most likely make you a wreck and I don’t want to spoil it). All I can say is, be warned, enjoy it, laugh, smile, cry, and squeal if you must because you have just signed yourself to the RMS- I’m gonna fucking die if you don’t update this shit- ship.

Current Summary: You better be ready sweetheart because these two dorks are flurrying up some sarcasm. Honestly, why can’t they date already? And why do I want to date Bucky Barnes? 

Chapter 1    Chapter 2

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT IN THE LAST CHAPTER! I’d love to hear some more feedback if that’s alright please 

It’s been a week since that particular stranger came to your (well it’s not really your) bookstore. God, you were so stupid for not knowing his name.

 “And you didn’t ask him for his name?” your friend, Cordelia asked. 

You shook your head, “No! I didn’t! I was too busy thinking about what book to give him! It was as if I forgot to function- you know I’m not like that, right? I always introduce myself, always.” 

Your other friend, Macy giggles, “So let me get this correctly: you were working in this bookstore on a Friday when all-of-a-sudden, this tall, dark seemingly handsome stranger walks in and talks to you having no idea what kind of book he wants and you couldn’t get his name? Oh sweetheart! You’re still so young in the name of love!”

You smiled at your old friends as you leaned against the counter-getting support from your elbows-noticing some new grey hairs in your friends hair. “Well, you can’t really blame me! I haven’t really…”

 “Haven’t really what? C’mon sweetie, you’re young and beautiful-not to say kind as well. Haven’t you got a boyfriend? I’m sure you’ve got boys piling up at your doorstep-maybe you don’t realize it!”

You mentally laughed.

 Ha ha. Boys. Boyfriend, me? Have you seen me?

To be honest, you had your fair share (not really). You went out with this guy once when you were 17 but he never called it a date so was it a date? The two of you talked for a bit but the poor guy was too nervous to even talk. You both decided to cut it short and left with an awkward hug and smile-that’s it. 

Your second encounter was when you were in college; there was this guy in your Literature class and he seemed nice but you already had a feeling something was going to happen. He asked you out (again, not even calling a date) and the two of you met at an ice cream shop. He seemed to not be interested and he excused himself to take a call outside and never came back, leaving you inside for almost an hour. When you got to class that week, he sat next to the new girl that just transferred into your class that semester. Yet she happened to be the smartest girl in the class. Leaving you at second. 

Can’t really say you’ve had dating experience either. You were just the ‘girl to ask about boy problems’ in your local dormitory. Girls who had boyfriends would show up to your room and ask you for advice while you yourself had never held hands with a boy except your baby cousin’s. Even the popular cheerleaders would ask you. Learning that you were actually good at talking with girls at 2am, mascara running down their eyes and half-melted strawberry ice cream on their laps, you realized you were pretty damn good at doing what you did. 

Besides giving advice, you were also pretty damn good at writing.  Unknowingly, your professors would comment on your work-some even encouraging you to publish a book.

Little did they know you hoped for that.

You hoped for something great. Working in a bookstore was like a dream come true. There was no one else but you and Mrs. Antilly. That was it. It was both relieving being alone and handling things yourself but you also wished for help at times-but always pulled through. You liked that independence.

You started out small. Since there were Schools and a nearby University, some students would occasionally pop in in search for a book. You offered writing help and with the money you eventually came to earn, you put some of that money in funding that bookstore and the current club/organization you had; not even knowing you had made new valuable elderly friends. 

“Oh no,” you laughed it off bringing yourself back to reality, “I don’t have one.”

“Oh please, haven’t you been in love yet? Look at yourself darlin’!”

Darlin’  a voice echoed behind her. 

-

“Do you like it?” She had asked.

“Well Darlin’, I haven’t even read it yet.” He lied. “What made you want to give me this?”

“You looked like you needed something, different. You seem like you need something new, refreshing. You need change.” 

-

It was almost as if he spoke behind her behind her ear.

“Look at yourself!” Cordelia pulled you out of your thoughts, “You’re an angel! You’re sweet, kind, and funny! Any guy would be stupid not to fall in love with you,”

You smiled at their words and looked down at the counter shaking your head. 

“Was it nice?” You asked, “Falling in love? How was it?’’

The ladies gave you a look of what seemed to be motherly adoration and their answers were filled with anecdotes and themes you could pull from.

You sighed nodding. You were glad to have them.

‘’Do you think he’ll come back?” you asked them.

“Who? Book Boy?”

You laughed and nodded, “Yeah, book boy.”

“I give it a week,” another voice called. Your heart dropped looking from the source of this new voice. It was masculine.

“Oh Richard!” Macy called out, “You came!” 

“Of course I did, Baby.” he said before wrapping an arm around Macy; he tipped his hat down. Richard was Macy’s husband. He worked for the NYT Newspaper as a writer and he met Macy through a rush down the subway. Quite romantic actually.

“Now, I hear there’s this boy? What’s going on?” he asked as he adjusted his collar shirt.

“Oh it’s about this boy that came into the shop and we think that our little Tilly here is finally getting a boyfriend!”

You bit the inside of your cheek trying hard to not laugh or blush but failed.

“We just talked! I just gave him a book, Rick! That’s all, a book.”

“Yeah,” Cordelia snickered, “A free book.”

Macy stepped in, “Honey, that’s like the equivalent of a girl that would now-a-days flash a boy.”

Your cheeks flushed red and your eyes widened.

“Ha! See? I’m right! That guy was special after all!” Cordelia says as she throws in a finger to further prove her point. 

“Thing is, Ricky,” his wife said, “She didn’t even trade names with him which is so unlike her! And now we’re thinking when he’ll come back.”

“How long has it been?’’ Rick asked you.

“A week,” you say as you and him look at one another.

He nods and places his hand on his chin, he’s thinking. Rick looks into your eyes and continues to read you very well before he nods again.

“A week,” he said. “I still give it a week,”

“But it’s already been a week!” Cordelia whines. “Why is this boy taking so long?”

“Still, a week.’’ he said decidedly. “It’s been 7 days. If he comes back on the 10th, he’s definitely hesitant but if he comes today, the same day of the week he came last week, then he’s traditional-or just worried that he might not see you again. Had to wait all this time in order to catch you again. It’s too soon to tell where he stands; you don’t know what is going on with a boy now a days but you keep being yourself sweetheart. The boy isn’t worth causing your pretty little head headaches if he can’t seem to respect your self dignity. You’re not here to please him-just yourself. Drop him if he does, okay?” he finished as you nodded thankful for having a somewhat father figure in this big city.

Not really having a father figure really did cause this sense of unbalance within you; making you take the role of a mother and father along with your mother while raising your sibling. Rick was probably one of the first (if not the only) to ever give you this kind of advice, or fatherly protection. A protection you never had but always felt like you wanted. Trying not to cry, you nodded-thankful for having him in your life.

“Thank you Rick. Thank you Macy, thank you Cordelia, you’re all the best.” you said as you absentmindedly wrapped your arms around yourself.

They all noticed before Rick called you out on it.

“Oh come on and give us a hug Tills!” he said as you smiled-tears threatening to fall as you sucurriedly headed their way as you gave the 3 a group hug.

And that was it.

Well for now at least. Rick, Macy, and Cordelia would always step in the morning to say hi and then leave to run some errands you wished you could help but you already had your own responsibilities. Later that day, Cordelia and Macy would stop by at around at 3 along with other elders to come join your self organized and funded (with the money you earned for tutoring) Knitting club held every friday from 3 to 6- something you were internally proud of hosting. 

Quite frankly, you loved Fridays. There really wasn’t much to do since you had all your preparations done for the day so all you could do right now was sit in your laptop and write. And that’s what you intended on doing for a couple of hours.

So you decided to write.

Popping in your earphones, you began writing a story that you would hope others would find interesting.

After writing for what seemed to be minutes, you look at the bottom right corner of your laptop it’s been almost two hours of writing.

It’s 11am, you thought. He came around 11 last week. Oh my god it’s officially a week and I’m just realizing that the girls are doing something to me. It's just a guy!  You think as you make some facial expressions mentally arguing with yourself. 

Let’s get back to writing now. Just for 5 more minutes. 5, nothing more. Then, I can get back to checking the shelves again even though they’re already in good shape. 

Little did you know, someone was on their way for a little visit.

Hearing a bell ring from the background, a part of you hoped for it to be the boy from last week. Taking a moment, you looked from the corner of your eye and noticed it was him. Your heart started palpitating in agitation. 

Dang it he’s here! What am I supposed to say? Should I have had some lines prepared or something? You asked yourself. Of course not! Your conscience says. You just met him a week ago! This isn’t some romantic movie from Netflix, Tilly. Get yourself together! C’mon, he’s waiting for you and you’re going to do this: look up, take your earphones off, and look extremely cool, calm, and collected. Yeah, the 3 C’s haha. Oh my gosh that was cool- DO IT!!!  That voice yelled from the back of your mind. 

Doing exactly what you planned, you gave him a small smile, “Oh hey, book boy. I see you came back,” you comment as you motioned to the book that you let him have.

“Of course,” he says as he walks up to you and the counter, “couldn’t leave one of my favorite bookstores in New York without comin’ back.”

You scoff in response, “Oh I’m flattered. You know, you don’t have to flatter me to get another book you know? There’s actually this method I hear of where people just ask for something and if they’re nice enough, that person might help them?” you say as you look at his facial expressions-getting a better view than last time. 

Dark hair, watery steel blue eyes…

“Well I’m glad that I’m talking to the right person,” 

You hum in response as you repeat his words in your mind. ‘Well I’m glad that I’m talking to the right person.’

“So what did you think of the book?”

He either liked it or hated it, she thought.

I finished it in two days, Bucky thought. Maybe even in one if it weren’t for Sam’s constant bugging. 

By now you had moved and tilted your laptop slightly to the side.

“Well,” He started as you noticed him leaning on your counter. Your counter.

“For 422 pages, Fitzgerald really did himself. He wrote quite the book actually. It was like… trying Champagne for the very first time, or trying on a new suit. Like you said, it was very refreshing. Who knew he would get so much success for a book inspired on his relationship with his wife?”

“What an analogy,” you say sarcastically as you rest your chin on your hand. “You did some research didn’t you?”

Bucky’s eyes widened. Fuck how’d she know?

She could tell his surprise. “What’s the matter, book boy? Cat got your tongue?” You teased with a smile and a knowing look.

He didn't say anything so she decided to keep the conversation going. “I’m just messing with you.’’ you say as you let out a slight nervous laugh, “Glad to hear you liked it.”

“But I didn't say I liked it,”

“Doesn’t matter, you read it and did research on it. I could tell you liked it by the way you were talking to me moments ago. Sounds like a paraphrased NYT review if you’d ask me,”

You continued to talk. “You were using words from others,’’ you lectured, “It’s not a bad thing to get inspiration from that but don’t let that take control over you; don’t let it take over who you are as a person alright? Not even to impress others,”

“Who said I was trying to impress you?”

Your stomach churned a little at a loss for words for a split second

You burst out laughing and changed the subject, “Okay you definitely need a new book.” you say as you get off your seat, “ Fitzgerald you is starting to irritate me and we just met. You need something else.”

Internally, Bucky felt as if he just won that battle.

“Fine by me, Glasses.”

You turn your head in his direction, “Glasses?’’ you parroted, “Is that supposed to be an insult?”

“Oh no,” he says as he places his hands in his pockets, “It quite suits you,”

“Yeah but it’s not as ironic as Book Boy,” 

He shrugs, “True-but I’m not as quick-minded as you when it comes to talkin’, Glasses.”

You raise your eyebrow at him-an amusing grin fills your smile, “Flattering again, book boy? Geez.”

His dark hair moves swiftly on his shoulders and he releases a chuckle, “It’s not really flattering unless the person sees it as flattering,” he says as he shoots you a look; a look that you dodge.

“Just gotta ask, book boy,” you murmur under your breath loud enough for him to hear. 

“So…” he starts after a moment of silence, “How long have you been workin’ here?” 

You raise your eyebrows at him in surprise, “Oh so now we’re sharing life stories now, huh?  I see how it is,”

“Maybe,” he shrugs, “Maybe we should. Tell you what, how about you give me any book in this shop and I give you one. We read them, then we discuss. Oh, and I should have paid you for-”

You raise your hand and shake it dismissively, “No, no, it’s okay. You don’t have to pay for it. Consider it as a gift.”

He nods, “I see,” he says as he looks down in thought for a moment, “Are you busy right now?” he asks.

You shake your head-a nervous lump forms in your throat, “Not really.”

Book Boy smiles at you, “Okay,” he nods, “How about I buy you a coffee in return from the book you gave me last week?” he asks.

Your eyes widen and you swear you feel like you’re living in a Hollywood movie and you feel your heart go from your chest to your esophagus, “Right now?” 

“Why not?” he questions, “I could use someone to talk to right now and who better than you, Glasses?” 

A/N: IM DYING I SWEAR IM SO SORRY FOR UPDATING TWO DAYS LATE BUT THIS FEELS RIGHT! I ALREADY HAVE PARTS DONE FOR CHAPTER 3 BTW AND PLEASE DON’T FORGET TO LIKE AND REBLOG-I’D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS PRETTY PLEASE

[spoksonat]

Bookstores and meet-cutes [Namjoon x Reader]

Summary: The cute boy who works at your favorite bookstore gets excited when he sees you buying one of his favorite books, unbeknownst to him, you are actually the author of said book. Pairing: Namjoon x reader. Genre: Fluff. A/N: This is the first time i write anything for BTS and i’m pretty new to the fandom but i really wanted to do something with Namjoon so here it is! Pretty short and sweet haha, i hope you enjoy it.

You can’t help but feel a little giddy when you enter the bookstore.

It’s certainly not the first time you’ve entered a bookstore, and it’s definitely not the first time you’ve bought a book. But this time, you’re not just buying a book, you’re buying your book.

Your first work to be published, your proudest creation yet, and basically your child. A child that had caused you many sleepless nights and multiple trips to the coffee shop just to get it done.

You walk around the familiar bookshelves, ashamed to ask one of the employees for the location of a book with your name on the cover, a book you already have at home along with a couple more copies that you intend to give to family and friends. It’s more of a symbolical thing, something you dreamed of doing since before college ended, buying a book you wrote just because you could, just to have a self-congratulatory moment.

You can feel your heart skip a beat when you see it, the familiar spine greeting you as you pull it off the bookshelf and into your hands. You laugh quietly, tucking it under your arm while you walk to pay for it.

You recognize the cashier immediately, he’s been working here since the first time you walked into the store, always smiling and offering to help you find any book you need. You’ve always thought he was really nice, with his deep dimples and bright personality.

You smile and put the book in front of him and he greets you as enthusiastically as ever, your eyes scan over his nametag quickly. Namjoon, it says. You’ve always thought his name was quite interesting, as well as beautiful.

When your eyes go back to meet his, you notice a certain twinkle in them.

“I must say this is a wonderful choice.” He says in a soft spoken tone, voice filled with excitement.

Your eyebrows shoot up, surprised.

“Oh, r-really?”

“Yes! It’s been recently published and i read it only a couple of weeks ago, but i was completely blown away. The story in itself is so realistic, you know? I feel like it touches very important topics and the characters are well-developed and interesting, the pacing is nearly perfect and the bonds the character create over the time of the novel are so interesting to read. Not to mention the author is one of those people that just has a way with words.” He chuckles, and you can tell he’s remembering something. “She had me laughing and then bawling my eyes out every two chapters. There’s a few plot holes here and there but it’s nothing that can’t be solved by a sequel.”

You feel like laughing and then crying over the fact that he liked your book enough to ramble about it to a random customer that turned out to be not so random.

He notices your stunned expression and his smile falls.

“Sorry for rambling, i tend to do that whenever clients buy some of my favorite books.” He laughs awkwardly and starts typing into the computer to charge you for the book.

“No! It’s not that, i actually think it’s amazing that you take time to speak about books with the clients, it’s just…” He looks at you through his thick glasses and you tell yourself that you can now die happy, after a cute boy who probably lives with his nose buried inside a book has just unknowingly praised your work. “That’s actually my book. I wrote it.”

You witness as his face goes from confused to surprised to sheepish, cheeks reddening as he realizes what he did.

“You’re Y/F/N?”

“In the flesh.” You say awkwardly.

He looks embarrassed, you find it unbearably cute.

“I- wow, first of all this a pleasure, second of all i’m so sorry i mentioned the plot holes.”

You laugh at that, raising your hand to dismiss him.

“It’s fine. Thank you for saying all of those nice things, my ego is really enjoying itself right now.”

He pushes his glasses up his nose and looks at you timidly.

“May i ask why you’re buying your own book?”

Oh yeah, that.

“I promised myself that i would do it, back in high school. It’s silly but, i just really liked the idea of being able to go to my favorite bookstore back at home and seeing my novel right next to the ones from my favorite authors.”

“I don’t think that’s silly at all.” He mutters, smile slowly growing.

You can already see yourself, writing a romance about two people who just happen to meet at a bookstore. It’s the perfect meet-cute, and you can’t wait until Namjoon picks it up from the shelf one day only to realize it’s all inspired by this exact moment. God, i really need to stop over-romanticizing every aspect of my life.

His dimples show themselves once again, and you’re trying to come up with the perfect word to describe them.

“Would you um, mind signing my copy?”

“Oh, i would love to!”

He scribbles something into your receipt and you’re certain this is gonna be the death of you.

“Sweet, maybe i can bring my copy to the coffee shop down the street and you can take your favorite pen.”

You almost let your jaw fall at the confidence with which he says this, after being awkward for the past few sentences.

“Careful there, you might just become the next protagonist.”

He hands you the book and the receipt with his number scribbled on it.

“I would love to have you write about me, Y/N.”

Requests are open.

[ships-sailing-in-the-night]

I just wanted to say that yesterday morning I had a doctors appointment. It went well and everything, except for the fact I had to get a Tetanus booster and blood taken. Talk about a double edged sword, but nevertheless, I survived. An interesting thing came up, I must first; however, start elsewhere.

For years my sister has struggled in school, with social relationships and even with us. For as long as I can remember she has always fought with either me, my mom or with my dad. The constant fighting always bothered me, but I thought in time things would get better. They didn’t, and 2 years ago she was diagnosed with a lot of stuff. She’s been on medication, gone to therapy, but it hasn’t helped much. She has her good days and her bad, but the stress has just been piling up in me. When I first went to college I was always excited to come home for breaks, but as the semesters went by I found myself not being that excited to come home because then I would be back with all the stress. 

This past summer, as some of you know, I went to Ireland for study abroad. The trip was amazing, I have never seen a place so beautiful in my life. I made some great new friends and really enjoyed the 2 weeks overseas. Life at home has been really stressful, my younger sister is struggling a lot with depression and her learning disability. A year ago she attempted suicide but got help. That really struck a nerve hard with me.

As senior in college, prepping to graduate and hopefully attend veterinary school I’ve never been so stressed. Being told day by day that I’m not good enough to get in, or I’m wasting my time applying really lowers my self-esteem. The constant stress from school and home have really taken on toll on me throughout the past 3 years. I’ve had some really low, low moments but I’ve always managed to pick myself up again.

When I was in Ireland it felt as I had walked through the closet to enter Narnia. I had never been so relaxed, my mind finally at peace. I didn’t worry about school, my sister, anything. It was the best two weeks in my best, it then followed by one of the worse weeks in my life and I had only gone downhill from there.

3 days before my flight back to the states I had a dream — a dream of what I was going to come home to again. The constant arguing between my sister and I or my mom and my sister. My constant fear of whether or not she would try to hurt herself again or worse. My constant stress over the approaching school year and trying my best to do as well as I can in my classes to not disappoint my family.

The day after I got home I went to the mall to pick up something I had ordered before I left, I knew while I was driving my mom and sister that I was off. I felt it but thought I could control/have a tight enough grip on it that I would be ok. I was wrong. My mind was in such shambles that I accidentally backed up too far in the spot and hit the wall behind me. That’s when I cracked.

I suffered an attack, the worse I have ever had that day — July 11th. Between the hyperventilating and forceful shaking, I had never been so not in control with my body. My mom tried to figure out why I was so upset but my brain was shutting down. It was so hard to get the words out. In the end, she assumed I was just upset about hitting the wall with my car and not being home in Ireland. I didn’t adjust well coming home, and I crave going back but that’s not my life. My life is here in the states and I have to make the most of it.  As much as she thought (as well as I) that the attack was a one and done thing, it wasn’t.

Fast forward to Friday, October 19. A group of friends and I went to a neighboring town to go on a ghost tour. As an RA I had to work on Halloween and my friends would most certainly go to parties (something I know I can’t handle because of the stress). We all agreed it would be fun, so 2 of my residents and 6 of my friends all agreed to go on this tour. The tour was really interesting because I'm a history nerd and I love ghost stories, and I enjoyed myself.

However, at the end of the tour half of the group wanted to go to a nearby bar to get drinks and food. Mainly drinks, which I did not want to do because it was getting late and I had a test to prepare for the next morning. I told my friends I didn’t want to go and I wanted to go, but I was outvoted and we went anyway. I walk into the bar and I’m fine. I tell myself I can handle this and sit at the table. No one was there, except us and some staff. The waitress was kind enough to bring us all waters while everyone decided what they wanted to eat or what alcohol they wanted. I chugged half the glass of water because I began to feel off and overwhelmed. My hands began to shake, I began to become extremely hot, and I knew what was coming. I took some breaths full well knowing I might have another breakdown but I didn’t want to have one in front of my friends nor the waitress.

Unfortunately, my mind snapped when one of my friends, who had come back from the bathroom, mentioned a nightclub right behind us and said we should all go in there afterword. I couldn’t take it anymore. I pushed my chair back and ran out of the bar as fast as I could. Outside I had my 2nd attack. The hyperventilating and crying started, then the excessive shaking. After what felt like many many minutes the girl who mentioned the nightclub came out and wondered why I was so upset. Again, I tried but failed to tell her why I was so upset. During my attacks, the formation of words and thoughts are easy, getting them out is a whole different story. She tried to get me to calm down and eventually all my other friends came out to make sure I was ok. I told them I wouldn’t be able to walk back into that bar and I needed to just walk to let myself just get through the attack. We walked and Insaw a bookstore. I went inside and was able to calm down after just looking around. The atmosphere was calming and helped settle my mind.

After I was calm enough our group parted ways and I drove who I had taken back to the campus again. That night I didn’t sleep well, I was still crying a lot, remembering what had happened. I can almost smile about it now, thinking that I did something super cliché, running out of a bar. As I tell my one friend,  at least it wasn’t because of a boy.

The next day I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened the night before, the scene of my running out of that bar played over and over in my mind. I had received an email that morning with a letter of rejection from one of the Vet schools I applied too. That really set me off and I ended up through one of my decorated coffee mugs from RA training week against my closet door. It, of course, shattered into a million pieces but I was too upset to clean it up or care. I texted one RA staff member I was close with to come down to my room as I was in desperate need for company. When she opened my door she immediately came over to me and hugged me. I could stop my 3rd attack from happening in front of her but she said nothing and just held me. She listened as I struggled to tell her what had happened the night before. After I had calmed down enough we went for a walk in the local park. Nature has always had a calming effect on me and she helped me take my mind off the incident. I was able to focus back on my work but the incident still lingers. I never told my parents what had happened, and probably never will.

When I went to the doctors, my mom told me before we walked into the office that if there was anything wrong, anything on my mind, today was the day to talk about it. I hadn’t told her about my other two attacks at school, I was debating whether or not to tell her. I had thought about telling the doctor and then based off her answer/response I would tell my mother. When I got into the exam room the nurse asked if there was anything I would talk to my doctor about her when she came in she would have an idea. I struggled to say it but I was able to get the word “anxiety” out. I’m a relatively emotional person I knew that if I was going to talk about what had happened that I would start crying. However, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to control the anxiety mounting up inside me any longer. It was only getting worse and I feared another attack would come when I least expected it. When the doctor came in I was able, with some time, get my experience across. When I finished she said I have anxiety and if I go on medication it will help balance out the chemicals in my brain.

If you had told me many years ago I would struggle with my mental health, such as anxiety, I probably wouldn’t have believed you. I like to be in control or my body, and I have almost always been in control. I always felt like I was strong enough to not need extra help because I believed I could handle any problem on my own. But lately the anxiety has gotten worse, the attacks were terrifying because I’ve never been so out of control before with my own body, and I saw that I couldn’t control it even if I pretended I did. Although I’m sure I probably should have gotten help it sooner, I was too afraid of what my parents would have said and if the doctor would have even believed me.

I hope that with this new medication I will begin to feel at more peace in mind and body than I feel now. And if this medication doesn’t work I am willing to work with my doctor to find another way. I told my one friend about starting the new medication and she is supporting me and I know she will be there if I need her. I don’t want to not be in control anymore and I want to start enjoying life again, the anxiety has kept me from doing a lot of things.

I don’t talk much about my personal life, but this is something I felt like I needed to share. Thank you for taking the time to read, with love ❤️

- Ships

[jorammiireads]

Tagged! 25 Bookish Facts

Thanks @prebeartobemoosified  and @shadowtearling for tagging me :)

WOW I didn’t realize how many 25 is...

1. I usually have a book with me. No matter where I go. 

2. Getting a Kindle made it really easy to always have a book with me. I even have purses of different sizes for the purpose of carrying books of different sizes.

3. I thought about being a biology major in undergrad, but after two semesters of little-to-no fiction reading I decided to be an English major.

4. I learned to read in kindergarten, but I was at the lowest reading level until 2nd grade. (this actually still messes with me.)

5. I learned to read at the same time I was learning to speak English. Spanish is my native language and I didn’t learn English until I started school.

6. TBH one of the reasons I started taking reading seriously is when I BSed a book report in 3rd grade, got a C, and realized that I could have just read the book and done really well. But I genuinely didn’t know that until I showed up to class and everyone else had really cool posters that their parents (I’m sure) helped them with. That’s when I first realized that I was working with the disadvantage of immigrant parents in the school system.

7. My favorite genre is young adult, fantasy or sci-fi, preferably with a BA female protagonist and dash of (enemies-friends-lovers) romance. I like my action with the romance on the side.

8. I’ve met a few published authors and I have legit cried in front of them and their editors and publicists. I should probably more embarrassed than I am.

9. I have stayed up to finish books many, many times, although a lot less often the older I get: the most recent would be The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

10. I love audiobooks...when I don’t have time or am in a place to read....but only if they’re with a female voice actor or full-cast...you’ve got to be pretty great as a male voice actor for me to listen all the way through...

11. I LOVE Harry Potter and once did a tally of how many times I’d read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone ....over 33 times...

12. But I’ve only read Deathly Hallows twice. And yet, I have a lot of vivid memories from it.

13. I am much more likely to remember what happens in a book I read for fun,  than I am to remember what happens in book I read for class, even though we read those much slower and take the time to go through them in much more depth. I dunno why.

14. Sometimes I check books out at the library, knowing I won’t be able to read them, just to give them circulation.

15. Libraries and bookstores are some of my favorite places to visit.

16. Whenever I go to a secondhand or thrift-store, you can usually find me at the book section. I just generally drift over until I find the books.

17. 99% of the time I only buy a book if I’ve read it and loved it OR if it’s a sequel to a book I loved enough to buy.

18. I have actually reread books that I love back to back. Like as soon as I finish it and realize I love it, I flip back to the first page and read it again.

19. I have gotten sent out of class (in elementary and middle school) for reading (and also for uncontrollably laughing at what I was reading.)

20. I’m also a crier. I cry all the time. I’ve shed many a tear over books.

21. The first book I ever cried for Bridge to Terabithia and the second book was Things Not Seen. Both in fifth grade.

22. I met my current significant other on a Battle of the Books team for our middle school. (It’s a competition where schools get a list of 27 books and they must assemble a team of like 6 people to answer questions: In which book,.....?)

23. I didn’t have much of a chance to read for fun in college (although I was reading all the time for class) so I have like zero concept of what was going on in the book world during those four years. Now in grad school I am making much more of an effort to stay connected.

24. OH how could I almost forget, the first time I got to pick out a bed (so sometime in late elementary school and early middle school) I specifically picked mine out because the headboard had a little shelf and a night light for my late night readings.

25. I love talking about books...if you want to break the ice, ask me what I’m reading. (I won’t be able to STOP talking.)

I know I’m (ALOT) late to this tag game and I’ve missed everyone who’s already done. But I’d love to get to know you all better so if you do this please tag me so I can read your stuff :)

[callmekaia]

A Mother’s Work

“That’s it sweetheart, you’ve got this. Come to mama!”

A woman smiled brightly down at her daughter, picking her up as soon as she waddled into her arms. Turning around she noticed the man who had just walked into the house, watching as he took several steps forward. 

“I told you to never come back here.” She quipped, holding her little girl tighter in her arms as she stared at the brunette man. “I don’t want you here if you can’t love me and her.”

“Honey, please... It’s not that I don’t love you. I just--I know how you said it is with your family. I know what happens with the daughter. I know that there is going to be magic and.. I can’t see her getting swept up in it. With you I could look past it because I fell in love with you before I knew.. But her....” The man admitted, looking down at his daughter. 

The look on the woman’s face hardened, taking a menacing step forward towards him as she watched with glee as he stepped backwards towards the door. 

“Kaia is my world now. And if you can’t accept that then you don’t deserve to be in mine. Get out.”

The man took another step forward but was met with a raised hand from the blonde, deciding that it was best to just leave. 

“You’ll pay for this, for this forcing magic on our daughter. Magic will get you killed.” And with that, he was gone, leaving the blonde to stare down lovingly at her daughter. 

“You’re safe now, sweetheart. Mommy’s got you. Mommy’s always got you...”

“Kaia! Get out of your room right this instant!” 

The seventeen year old’s back went rigid, suddenly wishing the earth could swallow her whole. She knew that tone, knew what came right after it. What was going to get taken away from her this time... Car keys, her favorite books, the right to see her girlfriend? Oh God... Not her books. 

Slowly but surely, Kaia made her way out of her room, hands in the pockets of her jeans. There in all of her glory stood Jane Ryder, the older blonde tapping her foot as she looked in the direction of her new curtains. Her new burnt curtains. 

“Mom... I can explain. You see, what happened was... I’ve been feeling kind of down lately. And.. I guess my magic has been off and I just... Sneezed. And then the curtains were on fire and I’m sorry! You can have my money for the trip I was going to take with the school. I’ll just stay home, it’s fine.” Kaia rambled, trying to fix the situation. 

It wasn’t like she was about to tell her mother the actual truth. What had happened was her and her girlfriend had been making out and she may or may not have gotten a little too turned on and the curtains had miraculously caught on fire. Luckily, her girlfriend suspected nothing and Kaia had been mortified when she left. 

“Are you positive that’s the story you want to go with?” Jane looked at her daughter, hazel eyes scanning the younger girl’s face. “Because if I find out that you were having a boy over, I will find him and I will fillet him.” The smile was kind and also very much terrifying. 

Kaia blanched, realizing that she really needed to stop putting off the whole ‘Mom, I’m actually gay and into girls and boys are disgusting’ talk. Clearing her throat, Kaia wrapped her arm around her mom’s shoulders, giving her sheepish grin. 

“Mom, we need to have a talk.”

“Are you not a virgin anymore?!” Jane exclaimed, causing Kaia to choke on air before quickly trying to do damage control. 

“Mom, shhh listen. So... When a woman and another woman really love each other....”

“Mom? Are you okay?” 

Kaia had just walked in from a long day of college courses, intent on going and passing out on her bed when she’d walked into the kitchen and seen her mom looking absolutely terrible. 

“Yes, of course. I’m fine. Just a headache. We had some annoying customers today at work. If they don’t get their coffee in under a minute, people start to panic, I swear.” Jane gave an awkward laugh, waving her daughter away. “I’ll be fine. Just going to pour myself some wine and then cook dinner. How were classes?”

Kaia wasn’t sure if she believed her but it wasn’t like she ever really had her mom lie to her. They had the best kind of relationship a girl could ever ask for. “Okay mom, whatever you say. And yeah, classes were good. I am super tired though so do you mind if I nap before supper?” 

Jane nodded, shooing her daughter out of the kitchen with a kiss to her forehead before heading back over to the table. There laying on it was a black envelope, a white letter inside that had blood red lettering. She knew who it was from, knew that this would happen one day. 

I do hope you enjoy these last few months with Kaia before her twenty-first birthday.  Spend the time you have left wisely.  I’ll be waiting for her in Wallcord - M

As hazel eyes read the last bit of the note, they turned a darkened grey with a flash before settling back to their natural color. If she had been more alert, maybe she would have noticed the oddly suffocating feeling in her chest or the way something didn’t quite feel right. But she didn’t, she was too busy worried about her daughter and what would happen come July...

“Hi mom...” Kaia mumbled, looking down at the fresh earth. She knew better than to cry, this wasn’t what her mother would have wanted. No, she would have wanted fresh flowers and for Kaia to never come back to this god-forsaken town. “It’s me.”

Biting her lip, Kaia knelt down beside the fresh patch of earth, laying sunflowers on top of the freshly placed dirt. “I really don’t know how to do this without you.” Her voice cracked lightly, eyelids blinking to keep back tears. “I don’t know how this all happened. You were fine and then you just... Weren’t. And I still don’t understand how there was nothing the doctors could have done or even... Something magic could have done.”

Tears finally rolled down her cheeks, Kaia feeling her lower lip wobble from emotion. Blue eyes stared at the gravestone, reading the words written on it. 

Jane Elizabeth Ryder Beloved Daughter, Mother and Friend October 18th, 1973 -- July 19th, 2014

“I still don’t understand why the family chose these words for you. It’s not like they ever came and visited us in the states. But I.. I agree with the last two.” She sniffled, wiping her cheeks before looking up at the darkened sky. A low rumble of thunder could be heard, causing her to pull her jacket tighter around her body. “You were the best mom and friend I could have ever asked for. And I miss you... So much. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this without you.”

Rain began to fall, Kaia taking this as an excuse to stand back up, staring down at the marble slab. “Thank you for teaching me to be the best version of myself. I’m.. I know you never gave me a middle name because you couldn’t decide on one. So I’m.. I’m taking your name. I’m Kaia Jane Ryder.” Lightning flashed across the sky, revealing a darkened form hiding behind a tree, watching the whole scene but luckily out of view of Kaia. 

“I love you mom...” Kaia whispered out, hands trembling as she began to walk away from the grave, knowing she had to start on those job applications. If she was going to have a fresh start, she was going to need to actually get a job....

A blood moon? If this wasn’t cool, she didn’t know what was. Kaia was literally buzzing all day, letting everyone know who had walked into her store that the moon was going to look amazing and that they should all try and see it. Most people had stared at her awkwardly but she just dismissed it. 

The door to her bookstore dinged, Kaia busy with something on the shelves behind the counter, her back turned to the person that had just walked into her store. “I’ll be there to help you in a minute! I’ve just got to get this all sorted first if that’s okay. I’ll lose my place if I don’t.”

The silence was honestly uncomfortable for a moment, Kaia not sure if she had offended the person who had entered, being as she hadn’t readily offered up her help as quickly as she could have. But then again... They could be perusing the books and not need her help. Just as she was reaching up to put one last book away, Kaia heard something that made her blood run cold.

“Hello sweetheart.”

Kaia inhaled sharply, the book dropping from her hands only to make a muffled clattering sound as it hit the floor. Slowly but surely, a now shaking Kaia turned around, her jaw quivering as she took in the sight before her. 

“Mom!” 

Before she could stop herself, Kaia was tripping over the books by her feet, quickly making her way around the counter and running up to her mother, almost knocking her over from the force of the hug. Maybe the whole lack of sleeping was getting to her or maybe Dorian had poisoned her food and she was slowly dying. At this point she didn’t care, not when she could smell her mother’s perfume, hear that familiar chuckle in her ear or feel the warmth as she was swayed back and forth in the hug. 

“I told you once, Kaia, and I’ll tell you again...” Jane started, continuing to sway her baby girl back and forth. She nuzzled into the girl’s neck, eyes flashing red for a moment as she inhaled, smelling something red flowing in the girl’s veins. “Mommy’s got you. Mommy’s always got you.”

[bellabooks]

National Coming Out Day: Happy coming out stories to warm your heart

Today is National Coming Out Day, where we celebrate the courage it takes to truly be oneself. Many of us have had difficult coming out experiences, but there is also a lot of joy to be had out there when you are embraced lovingly by friends and family. Here are some coming out stories that will give you hope, and put a smile on your face.   “My name is Ariel and I am fairly fresh out of the closet. My journey began about two and a half years ago when I saw Sara Lance kiss Nyssa al-Ghul on Arrow. Before that point, I had been exceptionally good at convincing myself that I was straight, because in my mind, that was the safest bet. I know now that that had everything to do with the heavy dose of compulsory heterosexuality that I had been given when was growing up. My gym teacher in elementary school was a lesbian and by the way that my classmates talked about her, I got it in my head that I didn’t want to be like her because I didn’t want to be made fun of like that. Seeing this saddened me because I had been taught by my mom at an early age that love is love and it shouldn’t matter who you fall in love with. In school, I had to argue against gay marriage and it took everything in my not to burst into tears during the debate because everything that came out of my mouth was a lie. I got uncomfortable when my softball teammates would talk about how they couldn’t believe that people were gay and how wrong they thought it was. As a result, I stayed firmly in the closet for a very long time. I couldn’t bring myself to open up to a world that believed that I was wrong and gross. Every time I would make a move to step towards coming out, I would see or hear something that would send me right back in. Lexa dying destroyed me and all but made me lock the door from the inside. It took some time but slowly, I immersed myself in positive media, mostly bi and lesbian Youtubers, and I worked my way up to coming out to my mom, who long ago told me that she would love me no matter who I ended up loving (she definitely saw it coming before I did). I then told the rest of my family and a few peers of mine. At this point, I am comfortable with who I am, but I only tell people when they ask because I still can’t get past the hate that I saw early on.” – @RoseWilliams157   “I mustered up the courage to tell my mother that I was a lesbian over the Holidays when I was in college. I sat her down and told her expecting the crying and hugging that you see on all of the coming out stories on TV. Instead she said, “Oh I gotta tell Trish! She’s been saying you were a lesbian for years!” Trish is my mom’s best friend and apparently has impeccable gaydar.” – @ellieb2792   “The first family members I came out to were my three brothers. I knew that if I had them in my corner, I’d have the strength I needed to come out to my parents. (Which went surprisingly well.) All three brothers had different, but great reactions. The youngest one said, ‘Figures. You own a lot of flannel and listen to Melissa Etheridge, so, that’s cool.’ Second oldest was surprised, just because he never thought about my love life. He told me, ‘Anyone you want to bring over is welcome in our home.’ The oldest had thought about my love life, apparently, and said, ‘Yeah, I already guessed that, and I’m totally good with it. Thanks for telling me.’ No fuss. They basically just shrugged, told me we’re good, which was exactly how my brothers are, and how I needed them to be.” – @jerzeyredhead   “I can’t really remember when I came out. On the one hand that makes sense, because coming out is something you do in stages, and you do it over and over again. I know I came out to my immediate family four separate times, but I only had to come out to my two best friends once. I believe I was twenty-three years old when I told them, which would have made the year 2009. Bestie M and I were walking around the local Borders Bookstore, one of our favorite ways to kill time. We liked to walk through the aisles and push the books back against the shelf so you could see the different size and shape of each spine. (Bestie M now works for the Library and she has since told me what an annoying thing that was for us to do to the employees, so I apologize.) She could sense that something was wrong. I wasn’t making eye contact, and anything she said to me was met with a monosyllabic response. When we got back to the car I told her that there was something I needed to say. What I remember most about that moment was the fear. I was so intensely afraid I would lose my best friend that even now, all these years later, my heart races just thinking about it. I told her I was gay and she said ‘Okay’. I know she told me she loved me, but I think I stopped forming memories the second I heard those four little words. She asked if she could hug me and I said ‘Okay.’ Bestie J and I were hanging out at the movie theater. We had a few people with us, killing time at the bar before or after the show. She and I were walking back from the bathroom. Despite my very positive experience with Bestie M, I was still terrified. I told her I was gay and she said something like “Gay? Not bisexual? Oh. Alright!”. But it was the fear in my eyes, not my admission that broke her stride. She grabbed my arm and looked me in the face. ‘Lara, you know this doesn’t change anything between us, right?” I didn’t know that, but I know it now. I knew it from that moment on.’ – Bella debut author, Lara Hayes   “So I think first and foremost it should be said that I am a Baptist minister’s daughter with a very religious family from SC. However, we were never taught to hate anyone no matter their skin color, religion or sexuality. But when I accepted that I was a lesbian at the ripe old age of 17, I started to think that it was okay for everyone else to be gay, but not me. Fast forward a year to Sept. 15, 2006. I’ve graduated from high school earlier in the year and I’m dating my first girlfriend. My girlfriend and I had a wonderful evening together and sleep over. The next morning when we woke up around 2, I had a ton of missed texts and calls from my father. I had told him I was staying at my friend Jessie’s house because I assumed he did not know where she lived. Apparently he did. I also thought, ‘If I tell them I’m staying at Heather’s, they’ll know I’m gay.’ So I called my dad and continued to lie about where I was saying that Jessie and I had gone to brunch. He said, ‘Stop lying to me. You’re at Heather’s aren’t you?’ I immediately said yes and he told me to come home so we could talk about it. Heather was amazing about the whole thing and said, ‘If you get kicked out, you can come to me and if I don’t hear from you for a while, I’ll understand and will be waiting.’ I drove home and thus began hours of conversation about my sexuality. Am I gay, am I bi, it is a phase? Yada yada. My mom ignored me for a good portion of the day. My dad turned to me and said, ‘I’m not mad that you’re gay. I’m mad that you lied to me (about where I was).’ After my mother took a nap, she said she was going to go for a drive and my dad followed her. They ended up talking for hours outside. Now you might wondering why I remember the date so well. Well, the day I came out was also my mom’s birthday. Happy Birthday! I’m a huge homo! So I went to my car to get my mother’s birthday present and even though I’m sure it didn’t happen exactly this way, I just remember coming back in and my mom had done a 180. She was happy and excited and everything was back to normal. It has taken my mom a long time to come to terms with it and be happy for me. For a long time she said, “I’m just praying to G-d for guidance.” And even though a lot of people would roll their eyes at her for saying that, I knew that was how my mom was wrapping her head around it and accepting me. 10 years later, my mom and dad have both accepted me and my mother is a HUGE ally for the LGBTQIA community and I no longer feel awkward or weird to tell my parents I’m going on a date. Now I just gotta tell my sister…” – @kaitlynkrieg   “Within six months of my falling in love with a woman for the first time, I had come out to my close friends and my sister. But it took me almost four years to come out to my parents. I initially decided I wouldn’t tell them until the topic became relevant, i.e. I was dating a woman and needed to explain. But my singleness lasted longer than my ability to keep that part of me secret. On New Years Eve of 2016, my parents and I were having dinner at an Italian restaurant. As I was staring at my plate, not registering how the food was tasting, I struggled to find the preamble I had rehearsed in my head. Finally, I brought up the woman I had fallen in love with years ago and that was my segue into blurting out that I date both men and women. I started bawling, not even caring that other customers or the wait staff may have been looking at me. My mom held my hand and told me she loved me. My dad kissed my cheek, rubbed my back, and told me everything was okay. They asked me if I had been wanting to tell them for a while and I said yes. They said that I didn’t have to tell them because they already knew. I corrected them by saying it was important for me to be able to finally tell them. I wiped my tear soaked face, we finished dinner, and then we welcomed 2017 with champagne.” – @nicclee “My first coming out occurred when I was 14. I was in a domestic science class when a classmate suddenly asked me about sexual orientations. I explained the differences and there was nothing more to it. Later that week when I was in church during a lunch break (the church was next door to the school and had “open doors” during our lunch breaks) another classmate, out of nowhere, asked me about my sexual orientation. I, who always felt welcomed in the church, answered and the youth leader, who overheard this, and embraced me with such warmth it made me feel so secure. So the church became my safe place and I have never ever met anything negative about me being not straight in church.” – @Lutter_Lappri   “Alright, so I had been showing signs for most of my life but you know, I’m like 8. I don’t know why I admire Miley Cyrus so much. My brother also had a friend who was a girl and she was so pretty, and so nice and amazing. Totally a crush on her (I literally called her everyday, it was ridiculous). But crushes all around and mostly on girls. So right around the age of 12, like when the gay starts getting stronger and more relevant, I go on Facebook. I am just browsing and I get a message and its from one of my close friends at the time. She states that she has to tell me something important, and then tells me that she’s bisexual. I was confused as hell on what that could mean and then she tells me. My kind is blown. Literally. I am being honest with you. I didn’t know it was possible to like both girls and guys AT THE SAME TIME WOW. Anyways, I was like “wow this explains so much to me” so I go on knowing I’m bisexual, and experiment like everyone else does. My brother knew I liked girls, when I told him and he just didn’t really care. My mom however had to warm up to the thought but now she makes closet jokes whenever possible. I don’t think my dad knows but that’s because we aren’t very close but I feel like he would be fine with it.” – @silkythunder “Growing up in a conservative, religious family in a very rural area meant my parents had rigorous views of the world. Coming out was one of my biggest fears. While I knew from the time I was 12 that I liked women the way I was “supposed” to like men, I worked to keep my secret from everyone. I dated my first girlfriend for four years—all while hiding carefully in the closet. Over the years, I gradually told a few select people. By the time I hit my late twenties, all of my friends knew, and I knew it was time to talk to my parents. We had always been close and I knew how they viewed homosexuality, so I felt like I had a lot to lose. I visited my parents one October, right before my 27th birthday. I waited for an opportunity, continually finding excuses to stay silent. I knew I couldn’t tell my entire family at once. I didn’t feel strong enough to watch several people I love turn their backs on me in unison. I was terrified, but also very much in love and determined. One evening during my visit, I was finally alone with my mother. I knew it was time. I opened my mouth to speak, but words failed me. She pried, asking what was wrong. I shut my mouth and shook my head. After another round of questions, I blurted out that I had to tell her something. She sat down facing me and told me she had a hunch about what I might want to say. Calmly, she explained that she knew I was a lesbian and knew I was dating my ‘best friend.’ She then told me that it didn’t change anything and she poured us both a margarita. I cried, and she hugged me. Life went forward as normal that night, with her telling me she would tell my father and things would be okay. The celebration was short-lived, as my gayness became reality—instead of an assumption they had held for years. My mother’s acceptance, I later found out, was more shock than truth. Over the course of the next several months, there were difficulties, a lot of intense discussions, more than a few times when my calls went unanswered, some hurtful words, and even a period of time when we did not speak. My mother had always been my best friend, so the distance stung. One day, she called out of the blue to tell me she missed me. We talked with the closeness we had before I came out. Over time, we talked about the “difficult time” we had endured in that emotional distance, and we never returned to the ugly place of silence and judgment that had marked the previous months. After she took some time to sort out her feelings, the entire family came around and eventually asked to meet the love of my life. They love me unconditionally, and they welcome her into their home (and our family) with open arms. While they still say they don’t understand, they have made leaps and bounds in their willingness to let go of their narrow ideas of the world. My family is still making progress, and I know they are working on it. It was rocky, but it definitely has turned out to be a happy ending. Coming out and knowing that my family loves me—with full knowledge of who I am—was the best decision I ever made (well, aside from asking my lovely fiancée to marry me).” – Bella author Riley Scott   “My coming out story starts with a note-to-self: don’t make jokes when you tell your mother you’re A: probably gay and B: definitely dating a woman. To sum it up: I made so many “let’s face it, it could have been way worse”-jokes when I came out to my mother at 28 that she was actually relieved when it turned out I was “just” dating a woman. She cried for about 3 mins and asked me not to tell my father. She lasted 12 hours before telling him herself. He called me and asked: “Is she hot?” I said yes. He answered “good” and then wondered if I had seen the last ep of his favourite English whodunnit. My father is a taciturn man. They’ve had a great journey. My now 75-year-old mother and father used to be openly and loudly homophobic. These days, they would happily walk in the “proud parents”-section at Pride. My father cried when my girlfriend dumped me. They’ve never been ashamed or hid that I was with a woman. Then again: we’re Swedish and Sweden isn’t a homophobic country anymore. Being a homophobe is considered very bad form. So the punchline probably is: people can change. Even nations can change. I think that’s a pretty happy coming out-story. – @ClillaryHinton1 “My story is actually kinda funny because when I was in 8th grade I started using Tumblr and my mom found out and asked to see my page which was very gay at the time but at the end of the night my mom, dad and I were all happy and they are still very supportive.” – @erin_tierney2   Photos via Pixabay http://dlvr.it/PtsLRf

[terrifyingrenegadelibrary]

Volume 2, Chapter 1

Sorry for the delay!

Absence Makes the Hate Grow Stronger

-Morgan and Holly are getting off the train-

Holly: So…magic is…

Morgan: Yep.

Holly: Important?

Morgan: Apparently.

Holly: And everyone is—

Morgan: Yeah.

Holly: …I see.

-she purses her lips-

Holly: Well, we’re outnumbered, outgunned, and distinctly out-organized, which leaves surprise as essentially our only option. We need to find someone we can trust, tell them what’s going on, and mount a counteroffensive before Zaresi follows us here, which she’s definitely going to do. And we need to do it fa—What?

-she breaks off, as Morgan is staring at her in shock-

Holly: …What?

Morgan: …You’re taking this a lot better than I did.

Holly: It’s this or curl up and cry.

Morgan: Yeah, I was definitely going to do the second one.

Holly: I can’t imagine what that would accomplish.

Morgan: …Holly, everyone but us is dead. It’s okay to cry.

Holly: Okay. Not helpful.

Morgan: I’m going to cry for thirty minutes. You’re welcome to join me.

-cut to a motel room. Morgan has just finished crying. Holly is holding her with one arm, and is using the other to look at her phone-

Holly: I don’t understand it at all. The population of an entire town simply vanishes, and nobody at all is discussing it?

-no response-

Holly: Morgan.

Morgan: (in a small voice) Evan.

Holly: Right. The mind-wipe.

Morgan: There’s probably some kind of side effect to his murder ritual.

Holly: We can’t count on anyone learning about this until we’ve told them, then. Making that still our priority.

Morgan: Right…

Holly: So, you can’t use magic without a god helping you, right?

Morgan: …Right.

Holly: In that case, let’s find one.

Morgan: That would be a decent idea if I knew how to find one.

Holly: Seriously?

-she sighs-

Holly: You said that each god had a meeting place that appealed to their Domain, right? So we just look for the kinds of places where you find gods. City Hall, graveyards, bookstores, coffeeshops…parking garages?

Morgan: We’re not likely to find any other gods hanging out in parking garages. It’s not exactly classy.

Holly: Don’t be so negative. Come on, let’s go scare up a god.

-cut to the two wandering through town-

Holly: So what are we looking for?

Morgan: You’re not looking for anything. You can’t see magic unless you’re a Magician, and I don’t think you can see Spirits normally unless you’ve made a Contract at some point in your life.

Holly: Oh.

Morgan: I don’t really know though. I guess keep an eye out for anything glowing.

Holly: You know, you probably could have stood to ask more questions.

Morgan: Do soccer players research mechanical physics?

Holly: You’re maddeningly incurious. Doesn’t any of this interest you at all?

Morgan: Not really. It was a party trick, then it was my secret life, then it got almost everyone I care about killed.

Holly: …Would you like a hug?

Morgan: Yes.

-Holly hugs Morgan-

Holly: This isn’t a good situation we’re in. It’s, in fact, probably the worst situation I’ve ever seen. It quite frankly redefines my standards for bad, actually.

-she looks Morgan in the eye-

Holly: But standing around moping about it isn’t going to solve anything. We can mourn properly when we’ve figured out where to go from here and gone there, and I need you to do that, because I understand things even less than you do. So please. Where do we want to look?

-there’s a pause. Morgan’s face hardens-

Morgan: …Let’s start with a library. I have an idea.

-at the library-

-Morgan is chatting with the librarian, a young woman who doesn’t seem much older than her. She has deep brown skin, has her hair covered with a tight cap, and is wearing gray from neck to toes-

Morgan: Hi!

Librarian: Do you want something?

Morgan: I was wondering if you have any books on magic theory?

Librarian: What?

Morgan: Magic theory. That’s a thing, right?

Librarian: Are you in college?

Morgan: Uh, no, why?

Librarian: Why would you be interested in magic theory then? It’s all very complicated, and it’s usually not something relevant to the lives of high schoolers.

-Morgan coughs-

Librarian: Yes?

Morgan: Oh, uh, it’s just for fun. (stage whisper) My sister’s a nerd.

Holly: I value knowledge. Is that a crime?

-the librarian raises an eyebrow-

Librarian: Well, they’re in the same section as theoretical physics textbooks, so…enjoy.

-the two walk off-

Holly: That seemed weird.

Morgan: Didn’t it?

Holly: Where are you going?

Morgan: Like you said. To study some magic.

Holly: Were you serious about that?

Morgan: Of course. I thought you knew that when I called you a nerd.

Holly: …You always call me a nerd.

Morgan: Let’s just find a book.

-Holly follows behind Morgan-

Holly: Nobody studies magic unless they have to for a reason. It may sound interesting on the surface, but it’s just a lot of numbers and guessing.

Morgan: Well, it’s the best chance we’ve got.

-the two are poring over a book-

Holly: …This is ridiculous. There’s almost nothing here.

Morgan: Is studying finally failing you?

Holly: …Don’t go there.

Morgan: You were right when you said nobody studies magic. Only a tiny percentage of the population even sees it, and most of them aren’t about to explain. I couldn’t imagine some physicist figuring anything out with approximately zero percent of the information she’d need.

Holly: So this was for nothing?

Morgan: Not exactly.

Holly: You know, Morgan. I know you’re used to not explaining anything to me, but I would hope you might start now that there’s no reason to keep so many secrets anymore.

-Morgan pauses-

Holly: Hmm?

Morgan: …Right.

-she looks guilty-

Holly: So what’s your game plan?

Morgan: Keeping up appearances, mostly. I figured nobody would ever be interested in books on magic.

-she looks up slightly-

Morgan: And if someone was—

Holly: Were.

Morgan: If someone was, that would draw a little attention.

-she snaps her head to the left-

Morgan: Hi! Overhearing anything interesting?

-the librarian peeks her head out from behind a bookshelf-

Librarian: Smart thinking. And here I thought I was cleverly discovering a pair of undercover Magicians.

-Morgan holds up the book defensively-

Holly: Are you a Magician? Morgan, is she using magic?

Morgan: No to the second.

Librarian: Yes to the first. My name is Dinah. Call me Dee.

-she extends a hand, which Morgan shakes. Dee does not let go-

Dee: Now, you’ve got twenty seconds to explain why you’re in my library and explaining things to some non-Magician.

Holly: How did you—

Dee: You just asked your sister—And don’t bother telling me she’s not, by the way, given as you’re literally identical twins— if I was using magic, which you wouldn’t have done if you could see it for yourself. QED, not a Magician. So what’s up?

Morgan: Let me go and I’ll tell you.

Dee: Better safe than sorry. Things have been too weird lately to let a stranger just hang around.

Holly: Weird how?

Dee: Couple rumors of a strange Spirit wandering about. Not aligned to any Domain I recognize. You know what a Spirit is?

Holly: Um, yes.

Dee: Then you know that when there’s a Spirit, there’s probably a Magician. And your stunt double here seems like the type.

Morgan: Wait, Spirits? What do they look like?

Dee: …Huh.

Morgan: Huh what?

Dee: You’re not practicing right now, are you? You’re new in town, but you’ve got no connection to the mystery Spirit, and you haven’t done anything to fight back yet.

Morgan: Well—

Dee: New in town, looking for magic but don’t already have any, so you just got out of a Contract. But you’re running, and you’ve talked your sister into coming with you, which means she knows about formal magic. You wouldn’t be telling a non-Magician about formal magic if there weren’t a really good reason, so either you did something really bad or you’re trying to avoid something really bad. Either way, I think it’s time you told me what’s going on.

Holly: …That was impressive.

-Morgan grunts-

Dee: Thanks!

-she smiles brightly-

Dee: So! Your turn!

Holly: Uh, Morgan, should we—

-Morgan’s face goes oddly blank-

Morgan: I used to work for a goddess of Death named Zaresi. At first I thought she was trying to maintain order in my town, but it turns out she was just biding her time. She had one of her other Magicians make a ritual that drained the magic out of the entire town and absorbed it, and she’s using all that power in a bid to try and take over the world.

-Dee makes a face-

Dee: Wait, what?

Morgan: Holly and I are here because I need to be able to use magic again so I can stop her.

Holly: What?

Morgan: I had this dream about a Dragon where—

Dee: Okay, that’s enough!

-she lets Morgan go, Morgan’s face readjusts to normal levels of emotional expression, and then to a deep red-

Morgan: Wait, what just happened?

Dee: Truth ritual. Don’t take it personally.

Morgan: Wait, then you’re—

Dee: Magician of Knowledge. At your service.

-she bows-

Dee: Well, not really, obviously, but you know what I mean. Sorry about the whole prying information out of your brain by force.

Morgan: Is that really the kind of thing you can just apologize for?

Dee: …Yeah, you’re right, I shouldn’t bother. I had to make sure you were on the level, after all.

Morgan: And are we?

Dee: No!

-she flaps her hands agitatedly-

Dee: You are such an incredibly dangerous person to be around! You ran away from your Contractor because she killed everyone in your town, you’re trying to fight someone who’s capable of doing that, and you’re coming to me to ask me for my help? There is absolutely no way that’s not going to put me and everyone I associate with in danger!

-beat-

-beat-

Holly: Contractor?

Dee: Someone calling themselves a god doesn’t make them one.

-Dee finger guns at Holly-

Dee: But that’s beside the point! I should definitely not introduce you to my Contractor!

-Morgan and Holly stare at her-

Dee: …So I’m going to do it anyway!

Morgan: What.

-Dee claps her hands together-

Dee: Way I see it, Zaresi’s probably gonna come by to tie up loose ends either way, so if I’m going to die horribly I may as well do it doing the right thing, don’t you think?

Morgan: That’s a refreshing attitude.

Dee: You must have known some very disappointing Magicians.

Morgan: You have no idea.

Dee: Well, let’s make some introductions! Right this way, please.

-she leads the two behind a desk and into the back-

Dee: Right then!

-she spins around. Morgan immediately grabs a book, holding it up defensively and standing between Dee and Holly-

Dee: …Aren’t you paranoid?

Morgan: It’s been a long day.

-Dee turns to a bookshelf-

Dee: Tirali, are you busy?

???: Hmm?

-several dozen books glow with a soft gray light, which seeps out, forming into a tall, androgynous figure-

Morgan: Whoa!

Holly: What’s happening?

Morgan: A god—

Dee: Contractor. Please.

Morgan: Just oozed out of the books. They’re kind of monochrome.

Tirali: Ah, you brought me recruits? It’s a little unorthodox to keep a non-Magician around, but given the extenuating circumstances, I can allow it.

-suddenly, a speaker starts emitting a monotone voice as Tirali speaks-

Holly: Aah!

Tirali: My apologies, miss. Normally non-Magicians can’t detect my presence, so I had this made on the occasions when I might have to speak to one. Now, as to business.

-they look thoughtful-

Tirali: We don’t have a lot of ability to hold off an offensive of that kind of strength, so Dee, if you could talk to Xenn about preparing for an attack, that would be appreciated. Morgan, I understand that you are reticent, but the organization of powers in this town is nothing like your home. The gods—My apologies, Dee, the Contractors, work together in a non-unilateral system to keep order. As we all depend on each other, no one Contractor could ever make any real motion to take serious power. With that settled, yes, I accept your offer of a Contract.

-gray light flows between the two-

Morgan: What…

Tirali: Holly, while you aren’t a Magician, if you are interested I would be happy to attempt to make you a Witch.

Holly: Huh?

Morgan: Whoa—

Tirali: I recognize, Morgan, that you don’t like the idea of your sister being involved in this sort of thing, but she is, as things stand, already neck-deep. Becoming a Witch would be an effective avenue through which she could protect herself, and no, I don’t believe you are sufficient to do so. My apologies, but this is a delicate situation and all firepower is welcome. Your sister is, I suspect, possessed of similar latent power to yourself, and having access to it would be a boon. Very well, I suppose it isn’t necessary. Still, Holly, my offer stands. Down the road is a motel, Dee has no interest in escorting you, but I imagine you can find the way on your own. I can lend you a book on the scrying ritual you need, of course, I’ll just consider it my favor in exchange for your Contract, in addition to the protection of course, but given your general history with rituals I don’t know if you’ll have any more luck with this one.

-they wink-

Tirali: Dee doesn’t seem to want to help you, I’m afraid, so once again, my offer to your sister stands. You would make an admirable Witch, Holly. All the same, I do have studying to return to, so goodbye for now!

-and they dissolve back into smoke and reenter the books, leaving Dee smirking and Morgan staring openmouthed-

Morgan: …What was that?

Dee: That was Tirali.

Morgan: What were they doing?

Dee: I think your sister figured it out.

-Morgan turns to Holly-

Holly: They’re a mind-reader. They read our minds.

Dee: Bingo.

Morgan: That’s incredibly creepy.

Dee: You’ll admit it’s a time-saver though. So, Holly, you’re sure you don’t want to become a Witch?

Holly: Well—

Morgan: Not happening. Holly, come on, let’s get to the motel so I can work on this ritual.

Dee: Good luck!

-she hands them a book, and they leave-

Dee: …Why do I feel like I should be writing my will?

-cut to Morgan’s old town. Liz is reading a map while leaning on Iggy, Zaresi pacing around irritably behind her. Evan and Laura walk up-

Evan: Are we moving on anytime soon? Turns out my ritual rotted most of the food in range, and Laura and I can’t exactly survive on salt alone.

Laura: You can’t?

Evan: Hush.

Liz: We’ll be moving on as soon as we can figure out where Morgan and her sister have gone.

Evan: Eeee…

-he rubs his knife excitedly. Laura looks disturbed-

Liz: Evan, can you go bother someone else?

Evan: Who’s to bother? We killed everyone but the Reapers.

-Laura winces-

Liz: Um…Iggy. Entertain Evan.

Iggy: Why me?

Evan: What? No!

Liz: You heard me. Both of you, shoo. Get some food from the town over or something.

-she brushes them away. Laura makes to follow, but Liz holds her back, moving her off to the side and away from Zaresi-

Laura: What is it?

Liz: You seem perturbed.

Laura: What else is new?

Liz: I know where Morgan and Holly are.

-Laura’s eyes go wide-

Laura: Wait, what?

Liz: I figured it out pretty much as soon as they left. They’d just take the first train they could, and I checked where it goes. It’s a small town, not so many gods, a lot like this one. Well, a lot like this one used to be.

Laura: …Right.

Liz: I’m going to give them a bit of a head start, I think. Just in case they’ve decided the best course of action is to keep running and stay out of our way. I’ll tell Zaresi where they are tomorrow.

Laura: I…okay.

-there’s a pause. Liz leans in, staring into Laura’s eyes. Laura looks startled-

Liz: You do believe we’re doing the right thing, don’t you?

-Laura’s face hardens-

Laura: …We are.

Liz: That’s what I thought. We’ll leave tomorrow. I hope you’re prepared. Go do something else now. Maybe rescue Iggy from Evan.

Laura: Do I have to?

Liz: You do now!

-Laura walks off. Liz remains in thought, reading her map-

-cut to Morgan and Holly in the motel. Holly is waking up. Morgan is sitting on the floor, a number of sigils drawn out in gray Knowledge magic and pencil. There’s a mirror in the center-

Holly: Morgan, have you slept?

Morgan: Yeah.

Holly: For how long?

Morgan: …Few hours?

Holly: How much coffee have you had?

Morgan: I don’t know, but they’re sending out for more downstairs.

Holly: …That isn’t healthy.

Morgan: Sure isn’t.

Holly: Have you at least had any luck?

-Morgan turns around, to reveal that her face is covered in ashes-

Morgan: …I’m not very good at rituals.

Holly: That’s not surprising.

Morgan: Supportive.

Holly: I’m your sister. It’s my job to insightfully point out your shortcomings.

-she sits up to look over Morgan’s shoulder-

Holly: It might just be me, but I think you’re looking at rituals too much like art. From what you told me about Evan, it sounds like they’re a lot more like math.

Morgan: Well, that’s your thing. But I’m an artist.

Holly: You know, it might be easier if you’d let me talk to Tirali. I’m pretty sure I could figure out the ritual. I could—

Morgan: No.

Holly: But—

Morgan: It’s not happening, Holly. Being a Magician is dangerous. I’ll figure out the ritual on my own, don’t worry.

Holly: Can you at least get a little sleep? You might have more luck if you’re less…completely exhausted.

Morgan: …Fine. But I can’t imagine I’ll get a lot of—

-cut to Morgan snoring softly, and Holly awake-

Holly: …Sorry about this.

-Holly leaves the room, heading back towards the library. A pale blue glowing hand is reaching around a corner that she passes-

-at the library, she loiters around until just before closing, and then slips in-

Holly: …Hello?

-a voice comes from behind her-

Dee: Welcome back.

-Holly spins around, raising her hands-

Dee: Hi! I’m assuming you’re not here for a textbook this time?

Holly: Now that you mention it—

-Dee giggles-

Dee: Holly, right? You’ve decided to take Tirali’s offer!

Holly: How did you—Wait. Don’t tell me. Morgan wouldn’t leave me alone, so if I’m on my own and coming to visit you, it means I’m not her.

-Dee’s smile grows wider-

Dee: I knew I liked you for a reason. But you don’t actually look that much alike. Identical twins never do.

Holly: Fair enough. But how do you know I’m here to become a Witch?

Dee: You can’t figure it out?

Holly: I could just as easily be here to ask for more help, or just try and find out more about the world I seem to be living in.

Dee: Nice bluff, but… you’re here without your sister. You’re joined at the hip, but now you’re here alone? If you just wanted information, you’d have brought her with you. You want something she wouldn’t be okay with. And unless I’m completely misinterpreting the situation and your sister just really doesn’t want you dating, that would be Tirali’s Witch ritual. Am I on target here?

Holly: …Yeah, you are.

Dee: Well then, right this way.

-Dee brings Holly back to Tirali’s study-

Dee: Tirali, she’s back.

-Tirali flows out of the books-

Dee: They’re here, Holly.

Holly: Um, hi.

-the microphone begins speaking again-

Tirali: Welcome! I’ll get the ritual started right away.

Holly: …Mind-reading, right.

Tirali: Dee, if you could assist with the circle?

-cut to a chalk circle outlined on the floor. Dee sits cross-legged next to it. She’s humming softly to herself-

Holly: Why are you doing that?

Tirali: The ritual requires sound to organize the magic. It’s quite complicated, and I’m sure Dee would rather you not interrupt it. You don’t have to trust me, but I don’t see you as having much choice. Of course I’m not wrong. I’m never wrong. Now kneel in the center of the circle.

-Holly does so-

Tirali: In the interest of gravity, I’ll allow you to respond verbally at this juncture. Why yes, that is gracious of m—whoops, sorry.

Holly: Apology accepted.

Tirali: Do you, Holly Stein, accept the power offered you, with the understanding that it is granted in exchange for your service, however minor and/or temporary your service might be?

Holly: …Yes?

Tirali: Dee.

Dee: Reading rainbow!

Holly: Really?

Dee: It was that or the bridge to “Music of the Night”, and I’m not really a singer.

Holly: I’m just saying it’s—

-there’s a flash of gray light-

Holly: Ah!

-the full scene comes into view. Holly is surrounded by dozens of floating eyes and sigils, and Tirali is resting on the table in front of her-

Holly: …Oh my god.

Dee: Contractor.

Holly: I…what?

Dee: Welcome to formal magic.

Tirali: And back to the status quo.

-they turn off the microphone-

Holly: …You’re real.

Tirali: Well, of course I’m real. Now, as to the ritual. You are correct in your assumption that you can manage it, but if it comes down to it, I think it’s best if you’re prepared for other eventualities as well. To those ends, I’ll treat this as the favor you’re owed.

-they reach forward and tap Holly on the forehead. She reels back-

Tirali: Isn’t that more convenient than spending weeks learning magic? Yes, you do. Not everything, of course, I don’t owe you anywhere near that much, but certainly enough to keep yourself safe.

-they wink-

Tirali: You should be getting back to your sister. I doubt she’ll be pleased if she awakens to find you gone.

Holly: Uh…right.

Tirali: You’re welcome.

Holly: …Thanks.

Tirali: You didn’t need to say that.

Holly: And I did anyway.

-she leaves-

Dee: …I remain worried about them.

Tirali: Mm.

-cut to the edge of town, at night. Zaresi and her Night Parade are slipping in-

Evan: Really? You think Morgan came all the way to this backwater?

Laura: Like our town was so much better.

Liz: Quiet, you two. We don’t know who’s listening.

???: I am!

-a bright spotlight shines on Zaresi’s group. It’s coming from a humanoid figure with a glowing light for a face-

Liz: …An Archon?

Archon: I am a servant of Xenn, God of Light! State your business!

Liz: All yours, Z.

-Zaresi steps forwards-

Zaresi: Our mission here is to enter your town, destroy or subjugate anything that tries to stop us, recruit the Spirits and Magicians that are willing to assist us, and move on from there. Which part of that sentence would you like to be involved in?

-there’s a pause-

Archon: I was warned against you! Prepare to be—

Evan: Necrosyrtes!

-shank-

-the Archon vanishes-

Laura: So much for stealth.

Zaresi: It was bound to happen.

-she turns to Laura and Evan-

Zaresi: Liz and the other Reapers can take care of the local gods. You two, find Morgan and her sister. It seems as though they have already given this town warning to be prepared for us, so subtler approaches may no longer be an option. I am tasking you with finding out who else they have told. Do what must be done.

Evan: Got it!

-he runs off-

Zaresi: Laura?

Laura: …Right.

-off she goes as well-

-cut back to the motel room. Morgan’s waking up. It’s clearly a little while, later, as the sun is coming up. She looks at Holly conducting some rituals, glowing gray Knowledge magic fluttering around her in the shapes of words and flowing into various sigils as she hums, and goes back to sleep-

-wait-

Morgan: Holly! What are you doing?

Holly: You needed the ritual. I’m conducting it.

-the scrying circle begins to glow-

Morgan: You took Tirali’s deal?

Holly: Yep.

Morgan: Without even talking to me?

Holly: Yep.

Morgan: While I was asleep?

Holly: Yep.

Morgan: …Why?

Holly: Because as much as you think you’re here to protect me, I’m here to protect you just as much. In this case, that means not deliberately blinding myself on your say-so, and it means equipping myself better to deal with any threat that comes our way.

Morgan: Holly, now that you’re a Magician, if Zaresi finds you, she’s going to kill you.

Holly: I’m pretty sure she was going to try anyway. Now I can do something about it.

Morgan: But—

Holly: Besides. You were never going to get this ritual to work. I, on the other hand, just did.

-and the circle bursts to life, darkness pooling in the center around the mirror-

Holly: Now. Tirali says we’re going to need a little bit of whoever you plan on scrying on. I don’t suppose you have Zaresi’s skin samples or something?

Morgan: Pretty sure she doesn’t have those. I’ve got the next best thing though.

-she takes out a hair-

Holly: …Oh, please don’t tell me that’s—

Morgan: (blushes) Shut up! I just happened to have it on me when I left, and I figured it would be useful for the ritual!

Holly: Well, you’re not wrong.

-she takes the hair, and places it into the circle-

Holly: Mirror, mirror, on the floor, show us who we’re looking for!

Morgan: Really?

Holly: I know, I know, “the ones for whom we’re looking.” But that wouldn’t rhyme.

Morgan: That wasn’t even close to my first complaint.

-beat-

Holly: You’re sure you’re okay with seeing her again? Even through the ritual?

-Morgan’s face hardens-

Morgan: It’s fine.

Holly: That’s very fortunate, because I really should have asked that a few seconds ago.

-the view on the mirror resolves…and it appears to be looking through Laura’s eyes, because it shows a hotel door-

Morgan: I guess she’s checking in somewhere?

Holly: …Wait. Isn’t that our door number?

Morgan: Wha—

-there’s a knock-

-the two turn to the door in shock-

Holly: (mouthing) What do we do?

Morgan: (mouthing back) Just pretend we’re not here!

Laura: I know you’re in there, Morgan. The light’s on.

Morgan: (in a falsely deep voice) Who’s Morgan? You must have the wrong room!

Laura: Right. That’s plausible. I believe you.

-there’s a bang, and the door is knocked off its hinges. Laura steps into the room-

Laura: …Hi again.

-Morgan, predictably, is speechless. Holly stands up slowly-

Laura: Sorry we always seem to end up meeting under difficult circumstances, Holly.

-Holly shrugs, but Morgan steps between the two-

Morgan: Don’t say her name. I don’t like hearing it in your mouth.

-Laura sighs-

Laura: Please don’t make any other sudden moves, Morgan. I don’t want to hurt you.

Morgan: You’re a little late on that one.

-Laura winces-

Morgan: You know, when Liz and I were vampire hunting that one time, she told me that spells came out as whatever you thought of the Domain you were using. So I made scythes and Liz made wings. (aside) I still don’t get the wings… (to Laura) But I couldn’t figure out what your deal was. Little skulls? Spiders?

-Laura stares impassively-

Morgan: But I get it now. That’s supposed to be DNA, isn’t it?

-Laura’s eyes widen-

Morgan: Your parents died and your brother got sick, and maybe you’ve got the same thing waiting for you somewhere down the road, so you think death is just something in our blood that we’re all ready-made for and so you don’t care about it when it happens to other people either. But that doesn’t make you right! It just means you couldn’t get over your parents and you’re taking it out on everyone else!

-Laura presses her lips together, clenching her fists. Small spheres drift out from her palms before vanishing-

Laura: Think what you want about me.

Morgan: It doesn’t matter what I think! It matters that you still think you’re doing the right thing!

Laura: You…you still don’t get it, do you, Morgan?

Morgan: What?

Laura: I don’t like what Zaresi’s doing. You think I want to kill people? I don’t. I know what happened back home was wrong. But it was necessary.

Morgan: You’re not exactly the first person to make that argument.

Laura: Zaresi’s going to fix the world, but she needed the power to make sure people don’t try and stop her. Now that she can do that, nobody else needs to die.

Morgan: Except me, right? And Holly? So we don’t interfere?

Laura: …That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.

Morgan: What?

Laura: You and Holly are clearly up to something, but Zaresi’s already plugged the leaks. There’s no harm done.

Morgan: …Except to the leaks.

-Laura presses on-

Laura: You’ve got another chance. You don’t even need to agree to help Zaresi. Just…go. Stay out of our way. For real this time. I’m not going to be able to do this for you again, but if you leave now and never come back, I’ll tell Zaresi I killed you and she never has to be any the wiser. You two can find jobs, go to school, try and live a normal life without magic. You’ll be happier in the long run, but just stay out of our way.

Morgan: …You’re joking, right? I’m not going to stay out of your way now that I know what you’re up to! That’s just as bad as helping you!

Laura: You’re being myopic.

Morgan: You’re being an idiot! If you came here to explain yourself, then you suck at it, because I haven’t forgiven you and I never will! You killed my friends, you killed my parents, and you’re going to have to kill me too because I am never going to agree with anything you say or do!

-she punctuates this by snapping a hand out, Knowledge magic bursting off of it. It arranges itself into the shape of a massive textbook and smacks Laura out of the room-

Laura: Argh!

-her eyes flash gray, and she seems stunned-

-Morgan stands there, breathing heavily-

Holly: …That’s really what you think of Knowledge?

Morgan: Is this the time? We have to go now. Get to Tirali and get this town ready for an attack.

-she begins pulling Holly out of the room, when strands of Death magic bar her way-

Morgan: Crap.

-Laura picks herself up, dismissing the strands-

Laura: Nice shot. But you’re not getting another, and if that’s how it’s going to be…

-she sighs-

Laura: It’s probably better if I do this than Evan.

-she shifts into a fighting stance. Morgan does the same, immediately hurling another book at Laura-

Laura: Nope.

-she ducks to the side. Morgan conjures another book-

Laura: I guess you wouldn’t have ever fought a real Death Magician before. It’s more annoying than you might think.

-she generates twin spheres which slash through Morgan’s book, disintegrating it. The spheres then loop around, plunging towards Morgan, who takes a step back. As she’s on her back foot, Laura  suddenly fires a twirling burst of Death magic, striking Morgan in the chest and knocking her backwards-

Laura: You can’t keep running. I realize that contradicts my earlier statement, but…circumstances have changed.

-she places her palms together, Death magic swirling up in a spiral pattern around her hands as she prepares to fire a blast at both Morgan and Holly. Morgan summons a book as a shield, but even the convection from the attack starts to tear into it-

-suddenly, pan to Holly, who has been muttering softly into an eraser-

Holly: Hey, Laura.

Laura: Hmm?

Holly: Morgan’s not the only Magician in the family anymore.

-she hurls the eraser at Laura, who instinctively catches it-

Holly: Occlude!

-the eraser erupts in Knowledge magic, surrounding Laura, who slumps back against the wall. She struggles to move but can’t, and no magic is forming around her-

Morgan: What was that?

Holly: Tirali showed me a few rituals in exchange for my working for them. Laura won’t be using any more magic, or most of her somatic nerves, for another few minutes.

Laura: Nngh…

-Morgan glares at Laura-

Morgan: You’re really lucky I don’t go around killing people like you do, you know.

-she turns to Holly-

Morgan: Come on. We’re gonna go talk to Tirali.

-the two run for it-

-outside, there’s a clear aura of tension in the air. Though there’s no sign of the branches that signal Evan’s kill ritual, a number of burning yellow sigils are floating in the air, and almost nobody is out on the street-

Holly: Those marks. They must be like what Vorn used to keep people inside during her attacks.

Morgan: Which means either this town has a lot more internal tensions than Tirali suggested, or Zaresi’s making her move.

-an Archon rushes up to them-

Archon: Are you Tirali’s new Magicians?

Morgan: That’s us.

Archon: Do you know where they are? Xenn’s been trying to get in touch all day, and nothing! Our battle plan’s in shambles, and—

-it’s cut off by a Reaper darting past-

Archon: Excuse me! Please, find them though!

-it dashes off after the Reaper-

Morgan: That’s problematic.

Holly: We should still check the library first. At the very least, it’s the only place we know they frequent.

Morgan: Right.

-they reach the library…and find it closed-

Morgan: … (nervously) Well, that makes sense. Usually rituals like the one the Light Spirits were casting make public spaces close up. We can probably still get in though.

-she approaches the door. Music can be heard softly playing from it-

Morgan: See? There’s music.

-she tugs at the door, and it opens-

Holly: That isn’t ominous at all.

Morgan: I’m sure it’s just Dee trying to make it look empty.

Holly: Then why the music?

Morgan: …Ambience?

-Holly listens-

Holly: …”I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” isn’t very ambient.

Morgan: She probably just has weird tastes in music. Let’s find Tirali’s room.

-the two move cautiously behind the counter, walking towards Tirali’s place…-

Holly: …Wait a minute. That song—

-they round the corner, and find Dee being held at knifepoint by Evan-

Evan: See? Told you they wouldn’t get it.

[belletristbooks]

After finishing taping The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Emma raced out of the Ed Sullivan Theatre and made her way through Midtown to meet Karah at the legendary Strand Bookstore for a conversation with the one and only Ariel Levy:

EMMA ROBERTS: It was interesting that you said during your conversation with Emily [Nussbaum] that The Year of Magical Thinking is the bible on grief because the last time Karah and I met up and chased after a writer at an event, it was Vanessa Redgrave and Joan Didion at St. John the Divine…Early that day, I had been at a photo shoot and they were like, "You're not going to make it to your book event," and I started crying, and I said, "I have to see Joan!" And she [Karah] was waiting for me outside, and we ran in laughing. So tonight I was at Colbert and I ran here and met Karah outside, and it was a Joan moment…

ARIEL LEVY: I just think it is the coolest, best thing in the world that you're putting your weight behind books.  It just makes me so fucking happy, I can't even tell you.

EMMA ROBERTS: We literally love books. I think that's been the strongest part of our friendship. We met through mutual friends, and it was one of those things where people thought maybe we wouldn't really become that close, but we ended up becoming really close because of...

KARAH PREISS: Books.

EMMA: ... a love for reading and just wanting to learn more, read more and ... she [Karah] really imposed such a reading list on me.

ARIEL: It's such a gift to writers that you guys are like, instead of using the power of social media to sell a handbag... KARAH: Tell her. EMMA: You tell her! KARAH: We said we want to do what Kylie Jenner has done to lip kits ... EMMA: ... for books. KARAH: For books.

EMMA: Well I know you said The Year of Magical Thinking obviously influenced you, but before, even when you were a teenager, what were some books that you remember that you fell in love with, or even just ... ARIEL: When I was a teenager I read some weird things. When I was in my early twenties, or when I was in college, I was super into Grace Paley, who I still love. Grace Paley, was super important to me always. I think when I was right out of college, I was reading Jeannette Winterson…I think that may have also been when I first started reading Joan Didion, actually, like Slouching Towards Bethlehem. And also Janet Malcolm, who's now my colleague, who I worship. I think probably the first thing I read of hers would've been The Journalist and the Murderer. But my favorite Janet Malcolm book is Two Lives, about Alice B. Toklas and Gertrude Stein. When I was at Wesleyan, there was no core curriculum, and I was very committed to having a canonical education, so I took a lot of Greek mythology and Victorian literature. But then when I was out of school is when I got ... I was really into short stories. I was really into reading short stories. I particularly love American short stories. I think we're good at that. I mean, not me, but other Americans who can make things up. EMMA: I love short stories. Would you write short stories? ARIEL: I can't. I can't think of things. I can only ... EMMA: I beg to differ after reading this book, I think you can ... ARIEL: I can only think of things ...I can't make things up. EMMA: Did it ever cross your mind to maybe rework this book into a novel and not write it as a memoir, or was it ... ARIEL: I probably should've so I wouldn't have hurt people's feelings as much, but... no, I really think of myself as a nonfiction writer. I think that's what I do. I'd feel like I was fronting if I was just like, "It's a novel!" EMMA: You'd maybe slip up in press, too. ARIEL: Yeah, I can't ... I just am not, I don't have it. Liz Strout told me that the way she writes is like a character comes to her, and she just sees it in her head and then she starts writing from that character's point of view. And Zadie Smith told me not that, but something enough close to that, that I'm like, there's a thing that is being a fiction writer, and it's not what I've got. I've got a desire to see the things in front of me and write about them, and try to convince readers that that's the world. EMMA: Yeah. Well, it's a gift. You do it really well. KARAH:  Very, very well.

ARIEL: How old are you guys? KARAH: I'm 27, and you're [pointing to Emma] 26 ... EMMA: I'm 19… ARIEL: Yeah, yeah, yeah. KARAH: I was just wondering, from when you were 20 up until now, how much have you grappled with domesticity versus ... your wild life?

ARIEL: A ton. A ton! ... in my twenties and my early thirties, that's all I thought about. I think I thought about all that stuff constantly, and I think that it's very much a human conflict, the fundamental human conflict between the desire for adventure and novelty and excitement versus the desire for stability and intimacy and safety. That's humanity ... But I think it's extra-complicated for women, because ... I think that men have been able to have both without much trouble for generations. And it's only recently that the world of adventure and being the protagonist in your own life is even available to us. So I think that this whole thing where people are like, "Can women have it all?" It's like, well no one can have it all, but the reason we're asking that about women is because, until recently, we didn't get to leave the bloody house! So of course we weren't out having adventures! Of course you didn't grow up reading stories, other than Pippi Longstocking ... it's always a boy. You had to learn how to project yourself into the male protagonist because it would be boring to always identify with the female sidekick. EMMA: Well, I think also it feels like it's being asked more and more now because ...the question is allowed to be asked louder, which is a good thing. ARIEL: I think that is a good thing, and I also think it's not untrue that being a mother is demanding in ways that are unique. Physically, for one thing. I mean, I think that pregnancy, breastfeeding, all the stuff that you have to do as a female animal as opposed to a male animal when you have an offspring, it's a different project, and it is ... just because I can't have children doesn't mean that you have to pick between being an adventurer and being a mother... all those women I was just talking about. Janet Malcolm, Joan Didion, many of my colleagues- ... they all have kids. They've all managed to do both. It just didn't work out for me. And that blows! That's a sad thing. And now I have so much extra maternal energy that I have an almost inappropriate reaction to younger women. Like, I'm like, "I want to raise you." I have a lot of extra maternal energy. EMMA:  ... you have hands that are ... like when you were talking up onstage, I was like ... ARIEL: I have the hands of a Muppet, it's true. EMMA: No, very ... comforting.

EMMA: When did you realize the title of this… ARIEL: The initial title I had in my mind was: To the Blue Sky and Back, because it was like, "to the blue sky and back adventure," but also the hotel in Mongolia was called the Blue Sky. EMMA: I love any reference to Blue. Bluets by Maggie Nelson is ... ARIEL:  Oh, it's a beautiful book. EMMA: ... the Rebecca Solnit Field Guide to Getting Lost, she talks about “the blue…” ARIEL:  And Joan Didion has Blue Nights. EMMA: Blue Nights. My eye starts twitching when I think about Blue Nights, literally. ARIEL:  But my editor convinced me, and I think she was right. She was like, "It sounds too dreamy..." Don't call it that. It's too dreamy." And I thought it was like, it should have a more aggressive title. EMMA: I also like it because The Rules Do Not Apply to some… that is actually a positive thing sometimes, like the rules don't apply to you, so it's kind of ... it's a little ironic at times, obviously in this [book]. ARIEL:  It's both. That's what I always look for with New Yorker profiles. I'm always trying to write about women who, like Edith Windsor, or Diana Nyad who swam from Cuba to Florida when she was 64 years old, just who are like ... "I'm just not going to be constrained by society's definition of women or the expectations of my gender." So I think it's a very positive thing. I mean, I don't think we'd have many of the advances we've had. You wouldn't have gay marriage, for example, if someone hadn't been like, "No, that's a bad rule. I'm not following it." But it's also the case that once you're like, "I'm free to do anything I want," you can get into the delusion that you have the power to do everything you want and that you can control things. Your life. KARAH: Well, I was going to ask you a follow-up about visionaries being narcissists, do you think that's ... ARIEL:   No. No! I don't think visionaries are narcissists, I think that it just happens to be the case that the Venn diagram of narcissism and the Venn diagram of visionaries intersects, and that they think the rules don't apply. So like Donald Trump doesn't think the rules apply to him, right? He doesn't have to tell the truth, disclose his taxes, have a press co-, he doesn't have to do anything a normal president has to do. That's bad. That's narcissism. But it's also true that Hillary Clinton thought the rules didn't apply. She was like, "I'm going to be the first woman president." So it's both a liberating, exciting, fantastic way to look at the world, and has the potential to be a perspective where you don't realize that there are limits to every life.

EMMA: I love the Lamar Van Dyke quote, you quote her in saying, where she's like, "We weren't all looking at our screens, we were actually doing stuff ..." I love that because I feel like, as much as I'm a part of social media and I like social media, and even starting this book club, social media is a huge part of it and we get that, but there is a love-hate relationship with it of when to step away and when ... ARIEL: When to be in the world and when to be ... EMMA: Exactly. So I was just wondering what your relationship is with social media and with your phone in general, and especially being a journalist… ARIEL: Well I use the recorder like you guys do a lot, so it's become important, like I always have it. EMMA: So what is your relationship with social media? ARIEL: Really, really glad you guys are helping me with it, because … I don't quite get it. EMMA: Honestly, I feel like I was so ahead of everything being a millennial, and now everyone who was a toddler is now a teenager, and so they know more than me, and now I'm the person that doesn't know anything. My sister's 16, so I'm like ... so now I'm the idiot. I was the genius, now I'm the idiot. You know how it goes. ARIEL: I know exactly. I read you say how you always like the book itself. EMMA: People make fun of me on trips because I'll bring a tote bag to the beach of all these books, and they're like, "Put it on your iPad!" and I'm like, "No, I want to see what I'm reading, I want to look at my ... I want to see it all, and I want to have my notes." Also, how many times have I gotten on a plane with one of my stupid friends whose iPad's dead, and I'm like, "Hm! I guess you're going to be bored the whole flight." That's a diss, by the way. That's my version of a diss. "Your iPad died, loser, you don't have a hard copy." ARIEL:  That's tough stuff. You pack a punch.

EMMA: Anyway. Karah? KARAH:  ... in the book, there's a line, I think basically where you had decided to have a child, and you said, "I decided that I no longer wanted to be ruled by wanderlust” and I don't know if this is because I'm neurotic, but I wonder, had you not been ruled by other things ... and I know maybe you were taking creative license ... but had you not been ruled by other things before that, and what are you ruled by now? As you've said, you know you're not going to have a child. What are the things that rule your life? ARIEL: The upside of having my whole life fall apart at such a speed that I was like, "The fuck is going to happen next? Is my apartment going to crumble?" I was just like, "This is getting ridiculous!" You know? The upside of that is that it left me like, "All right, I guess I'm just going to surrender to what happens." And because of that, I was able to be like, "I guess I'm going to keep emailing with this dude who is a doctor in Mongolia who lives in South Africa," and then eventually like, "All right. I guess we're in love!" Like, "All right, I guess I'm going to spend half my time riding horses in the mountains in South Africa." I didn't see that coming. So now it's like, I would say I'm a lot more open to whatever's coming my way, but also the thing that I was always ruled by was writing. That was always the A #1 priority and it still ... it's writing and ... the nice thing about my relationship with the person I'm about to marry is that he's got a lot of wanderlust too. It's not for nothing that we met in Mongolia, and we're back and forth between New York and South Africa and wherever, and it's like we can take this home that is each other on the road. My dream as a kid was always to be in a gypsy caravan, and I think you [looking at Emma] know where I got that idea. EMMA: “Emma Rose”

KARAH: I just want to say to people, I want to say to girls [grabbing The Rules Do Not Apply], I want to just be like, "Just go read this in the fucking corner and come back and talk to me." ARIEL: Well I wish you would do that. EMMA: Well we're going to. KARAH: We're going to do that. EMMA: I just want to show you something really quick. So last night I was deep ... I was watching interview after interview with you and reading all your articles just so I was prepared ... ... and then I was like Who did say you can have it all?" ARIEL:  Well, who did? EMMA: [Showing Ariel phone screen] "You are not connected to the internet." That's what came up! I typed it in, I said, "Who said you can have it all?" and my browser, it said, "You are not connected to the internet!” I was like ... yeah, I was like, "That's the answer. You are not connected to internet." ARIEL: Well there it is. EMMA: Witchery. 

[wednesdays-in-paris-at-cafes]

MICHEL: I figure if I stay alive long enough, these scientists, they will be able to cure anything including death, therefore ensuring my indefinite existence.

DEAN: So what’s the movie for tonight? LORELAI: Oh my god, a classic. RORY: The Joan and Melissa Rivers Story, starring… LORELAI: Joan and Melissa Rivers. A mother and daughter torn apart by tragedy. RORY: Suicide. LORELAI: Not getting The Tonight Show. RORY: Mean boyfriends. LORELAI: Identical noses. RORY: You’ll laugh, you’ll cry. LORELAI: Because you’re laughing so hard. RORY: It’ll be an evening to remember. LORELAI: And in the pivotal scene where a very distraught Joan gets locked out of High Holiday Services because she’s late, I will be forced to rewind it and play it over and over about four thousand times. RORY: You’ll never be the same. 

LORELAI: You are the great white hope of the Gilmore clan. You are their angel sent from up above. You are the daughter they didn’t have. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: No, it’s not a ‘feel sorry for me’ thing. It’s just the truth. I mean, you’re gonna go to college. Hell, you’re gonna graduate from high school. They’re gonna get to watch you walk down the aisle wearing your cap and gown and get your diploma and go to Harvard and be a Phi Beta Bimbo and graduate with honors and just set the world on fire. And that is the plan, looks like it’s gonna happen.

RORY: Let’s go. LORELAI: Where? RORY: Wedding dress shopping. LORELAI: Uhhh, you’re reading. RORY: I’m done. LORELAI: Uh, you need to see Dean. RORY: He’s playing softball. LORELAI: Your cure for cancer’s almost finished.

RORY: Time? LORELAI: 8:30. RORY: I’m late. LORELAI: Hold on, coffee! RORY: Thanks. I’ll see you tonight. LORELAI: Wait, one sec. RORY: Mom, I have to be there in twenty minutes. LORELAI: I know, but I made you something really cool. RORY: Can’t it wait 'til tonight? LORELAI: It won’t be cool tonight. RORY: What do you mean it won’t be cool tonight? What loses its cool factor in twelve hours? LORELAI: This. [holds up a hammer decorated in pink] RORY: What is that? LORELAI: A hammer. RORY: It has feathers on it. LORELAI: Yes. RORY: Why? LORELAI: So the rhinestones and bows won’t feel lonely. RORY: What do you want me to do it? LORELAI: Build a really pretty house. RORY: How long is it gonna take me to talk you out of giving that to me? LORELAI: Forty minutes, an hour, tops. RORY: Hand it over.

DEAN: Hey. RORY: Hi. DEAN: Where you going? RORY: I have to build a house. DEAN: Okay, so where you going? RORY: I’m serious. DEAN: You’re going to build a house? RORY: It’s for charity and I’m late, and why don’t you go on inside and you and my mother can continue the 'Rory’s building a house’ routine and when that gets boring you can move on over to 'Who’s on First?’ DEAN: Well, how long are you gonna be gone? RORY: I don’t know, why? DEAN: I just thought we could hang today. Maybe see a movie, get something to eat. We could go to a bookstore, I’ll watch you browse for six or seven hours. RORY: I would love to but I have to do this thing today. DEAN: Blow it off. RORY: I can’t. DEAN: Did I mention the bookstore for six or seven hours?

MAN: Okay, where you from? RORY: Chilton. My name… MAN: Come on Chilton. RORY: No, it’s Rory. Chilton’s my school. MAN: You got a hammer? RORY: Oh, yes, sir. MAN: Where is it? [Rory takes out the decorated hammer and shows him] RORY: It’s a real hammer underneath. MAN: That’s a hammer? RORY: Well, it’s just dressed up a little. MAN: You dressed up a hammer? RORY: No, my mother did. She does that. She, um, she takes thinks that aren’t pretty and makes them pretty, like a hammer, you know. One time she made individual outfits for my liquid paper bottles. A clown, a cowboy, a newscaster. She’s not insane, she just sounds it.

LORELAI: This is incredible. This is really really incredible. My God, is there any pink icing left on the planet? SOOKIE: The whole town is in on it actually. It’s gonna be quite the affair. I think you’ll be sufficiently impressed with the amount of people that wanna celebrate this with you. LORELAI: Michel? SOOKIE: No. LORELAI: Right. 

LORELAI: “We have buried the putrid corpse of liberty.” Perfect! RORY: Mussolini it is. Um, can I ask you an ethical question? LORELAI: Mmm. RORY: Is it right to be sampling wedding cakes when Sookie’s making ours for free? LORELAI: What is right anyway, you know? Who defines right? And if eating cake is wrong, I don’t want to be right. FRAN: [calls] I’m bringing out a mocha crunch cream. LORELAI: So, ethics? RORY: Highly subjective and completely overrated. LORELAI: That’s my girl.

MAX: Ugh, I can barely walk. LORELAI: Bad shoes? MAX: I ate a cow. LORELAI: You had a steak. MAX: Plus the sides. Four people, six baked potatoes. LORELAI: Uh, you always exaggerate. MAX: Am I exaggerating? DEAN: Nope. RORY: Ooh, ice cream! [runs off] LORELAI: Ooh, I’m right behind you! [runs off] MAX: How can they possibly eat more? DEAN: Kind of surprised. MAX: I know. They’re bottomless pits. DEAN: I mean at you. You’ve known them long enough not to be so confused. [They both sit on a bench.] MAX: Oh, I’m not confused. I’m just … what do you mean? DEAN: Their eating habits are just the start of what you’re gonna have to get used to. There’s tons of stuff you should be aware of. MAX: Really? DEAN: Oh yeah. Like, don’t ever use the last of the parmesan cheese. And never get into a heavy discussion late at night 'cause that’s when they’re at their crankiest. Oh, and uh, go with their bits. MAX: Their bits? DEAN: Yeah, like, if you’re eating pizza with them and Lorelai decides that the pepperoni is angry at the mushrooms because the mushrooms have an attitude and then she holds up a pepperoni and the pepperoni asks for your opinion…don’t just laugh. Answer the pepperoni. MAX: Answer the pepperoni. DEAN: And don’t let them near puppies 'cause they’ll want to take home every one. MAX: Oh, that one I knew. DEAN: Oh, and uh, here’s a big one. If you ever think that they’re doing something crazy, they’re not. You see, after a while, their thinking becomes clear, but by the time it’s clear, they’ve already done two other totally crazy things that you can’t figure out. So there’s no catching up. MAX: You have much knowledge. DEAN: You got that from Rory. MAX: Right. DEAN: Oh, and hey, does Lorelai know what kind of ice cream you like? MAX: Yeah, chocolate chip. But I already told her that I… LORELAI: Hey, chocolate chip. [hands him an ice cream cone] MAX: Thanks. LORELAI: You’re welcome. CUT TO LORELAI’S FRONT PORCH [Lorelai, Rory, Max, and Dean walk up to Lorelai’s house.] LORELAI: Ugh, I’m so full. Why’d you let me eat so much? DEAN: Yeah, they’ll blame you.

LORELAI: Pack! RORY: What? LORELAI: Pack. RORY: What’s going on? LORELAI: We are hitting the road. RORY: What? LORELAI: Pack everything. Traveling light is for girls. RORY: What’s going on here? Why are we hitting the road? LORELAI: We haven’t taken a road trip in forever and the weather is perfect. RORY: We can’t take a road trip. You’re getting married this weekend. LORELAI: Do you have my blue swimsuit? RORY: What about Max? LORELAI: Sunscreen, we need sunscreen. RORY: Mom, stop. LORELAI: What? RORY: Are you and Max getting married? LORELAI: No. RORY: Why? [Lorelai starts crying] LORELAI: Because I didn’t want to try on my wedding dress every night. RORY: Where are we going? LORELAI: We don’t have to. RORY: Hot, cold, rocky, sandy, mountain, valley? LORELAI: I didn’t really have a particular spot. RORY: Packing for all contingencies. Got it. Light layers. LORELAI: Yeah, light layers. RORY: Do you need a book? LORELAI: Um, that Colette biography. RORY: I lost your place in it. LORELAI: That’s okay. I have to start over anyway. RORY: You got it. LORELAI: And hurry. RORY: Are we going tonight? LORELAI: First thing in the morning. RORY: Seven-ish? LORELAI: Five-ish. RORY: Wow. LORELAI: It’ll be more like six-ish. RORY: Let’s shoot for five-ish. LORELAI: You are crazy, and I love it. CUT TO LORELAI’S JEEP [Early the next morning, Lorelai and Rory are in Lorelai’s jeep driving through Stars Hollow.] RORY: Wow, totally deserted. LORELAI: We’re the last ones left. RORY: So are we almost there? LORELAI: We’re almost there and nowhere near it. All that matters is we’re going. RORY: We’re practically gone already. LORELAI: Look out world.

RORY: [turns off radio] We have to figure out where we’re going. LORELAI: No we don’t. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: The point of this is to be spontaneous. To drive and land someplace we’ve never been and never expected to be. RORY: Sounds risky. LORELAI: Sounds exciting. RORY: Serendipity has never been kind to us. LORELAI: Ah, yes, but I talked to serendipity on the phone last night. She feels bad about how she’s treated us in the past. We had a nice chat. It’s all gonna be different now. RORY: What did that sign say? It said “Don’t” or “Death” on it. LORELAI: Relax. RORY: We’re doomed! LORELAI: Wrong. We’re being guided by fate. RORY: I think we’re lost. LORELAI: We can’t be lost. We don’t know where we’re going. RORY: You’re going to stop before we drive into the Atlantic Ocean. LORELAI: I’ll try. RORY: At least we’ll know where we are. LORELAI: Unless it’s the Pacific. [turns on radio]

RORY: What’s with the face? LORELAI: Hmm, they’re taller. RORY: Not this again. LORELAI: There’s more of them. RORY: Mom, the flowers on the wallpaper are not growing or reproducing. LORELAI: Hm. RORY: Wait a minute. You weren’t writing in this thing, were you? LORELAI: Maybe some random thoughts. RORY: [reading guestbook] 'Satanic forces are at work here.’ Mom. LORELAI: What? RORY: What? What? We cannot write that in here. [changes it] Here. 'Sat and forever am at work here.’ LORELAI: That doesn’t make any sense.

LORELAI: Wow! Harvard is over 300 years old. RORY: Founded in 1636. LORELAI: That means that almost everyone who ever went to Harvard is dead now. Are you sure you still want to go here? RORY: Yes, I’m sure. LORELAI: They developed the pacemaker here. Also, discovered how electromagnetism and radioactivity are two manifestations of the same force and postulated existence of a charmed quark. I was wondering who did that. RORY: The smarties at Harvard. LORELAI: Holy smokes. They get an average of 18,000 applicants every year and only 2,000 get in. Those are not good odds. RORY: Mom. LORELAI: No no no, you’re different. Past graduates. Henry James…isn’t that a beer? RORY: And a novelist. Go on. LORELAI: John Adams. That’s a beer! RORY: Our second president. He’s very in right now. LORELAI: W.E.B. Du Bois, Yo-Yo Ma. Oh cool! Fred Gwynn. RORY: Who? LORELAI: Herman Munster. Now I’m impressed.

RORY: Oh my. LORELAI: What’s this? RORY: It’s the library. LORELAI: Oh. RORY: The biggest library I’ve ever seen. LORELAI: Uh oh. Brace yourself. RORY: What? LORELAI: This is just one of the libraries. RORY: One of the libraries? LORELAI: This building is one component of a thirteen million volume collection housed in more than ninety different libraries. It’s the oldest library in the United States and the largest academic library in the world. Breathe, breathe. RORY: I’m a failure. LORELAI: What? RORY: I am stupid. LORELAI: Oh stop. RORY: I am uninformed and ignorant and… I can’t even think of a second synonym for uninformed. I suck. LORELAI: Honey. RORY: Thirteen million volumes? I’ve read like, what, three hundred books in my entire life and I’m already sixteen? Do you know how long it would take me to read thirteen million books? LORELAI: But honey, you don’t have to read every one of them. “Tuesday’s with Morrie?” Skip that. “Who Moved My Cheese?” Just stuff you already know. RORY: Okay, but every kid coming to Harvard is inevitably reading books, and different books, and I want to be able to converse intelligently with each of them and I can’t do that unless I read books, at least a few from every genre and sub-genre. LORELAI: Okay, come on. I’m getting you out of here. RORY: I sleep too much. LORELAI: No you don’t. RORY: I’ve been frittering away my whole life. LORELAI: You don’t fritter. RORY: Did I mention I suck? LORELAI: Yes. RORY: Well I do. LORELAI: No.

LUKE: So where’d you guys go? LORELAI: Well, we drove around a little, we hit a B&B, and we took a tour of Harvard. LUKE: Harvard… interesting. LORELAI: It was amazing. Seeing Rory there, in a dorm room, in a classroom. She fit. LUKE: Yeah, I can see her fitting there. LORELAI: She was right at home. LUKE: So, how you taking that? LORELAI: Taking what? LUKE: Seeing her fit? LORELAI: I loved it…and I hated it. LUKE: That seems about right. LORELAI: Man, these past few days… just so many thoughts about my life then, my life now, what I missed. Thoughts about what I’ll never have, and what I want to have.