#almost one whole year of being a part of this wonderful rp.... so long sweet prince....... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yeojaa · 4 years ago

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come over, pt. i

pairing. jjk x f!reader. rating. explicit. tags. this is pwp. smut in the forms of: kissing, oral (m/f), fingering, deepthroating, hickeys, protected sex. use of the pet name shy girl. wc. 6.2k. beta reader. @hobi-gif and @snackhobi aka the loves of my tiny life. author note. this is an adaption of an rp with my beloved @velvetwicebang. while the writing is all my own, i owe so much to loma for inspiring me and being such a wonderful partner. 💛 if you enjoy this, feedback goes a long way. tysm for reading! (and yes, there will be a second part.)

You’ve been friends for thirteen months, classmates for another three before that. You’ve worked on countless projects together, watched him fall off a roof, and have had to bail him out of campus security’s grubby little hands. Your friendship is easy, based on mutual suffering in Professor Kim’s class and long study dates spent in the library. He smuggled you chocolates in his pockets and you brought iced coffee to the 8 a.m. lecture you shared.

You’re not sure why you’re riddled with uncertainty now then, every nerve ending shot, lit up bright like the still-up mini Christmas tree sitting in the corner of your dorm room. (You know you should take it down but it’s so cute, slouched ever with a tiny gold star-shaped bell hanging from the end.).

Spending time with Jungkook was normal - a part of your weekly routine - but then again, you hadn’t somehow developed a weird little crush on him until recently.

(If you think hard, you could probably pinpoint it to a night a few weeks ago when he looked particularly good, fluffy powder puff of hair stripped of shadow and gleaming gold beneath the warm lecture lights. You’d never had a thing for blonds but he made it look good - surprising you when he’d dropped into his seat beside you and winked in response to your surprise.)

(It’s something you can't tear your thoughts from now, that infuriatingly charming smile burnt into your retinas. It sits at the forefront of your mind, stealing your attention from the movie that's playing on the television hung across from your bed. One of those blockbuster flicks, because who didn’t love gratuitous action and lens flares?)

A hand reaches for the chip bowl propped between you - homemade chex mix, because you’ve been obsessed with the recipe since discovering it a few weeks ago - and you flinch away when it brushes the hand that's already in there.

"Sorry!" You squeak before coughing, a quick-witted (but not altogether believable) attempt at hiding the sudden heat that flares across your cheeks. The same hand disappears between your knees, fingers curling into the soft throw laid over your legs. You tell yourself to relax at least three times before speaking, peeking at your companion from beneath a fringe of sleep-tousled strands. “Stop stealing all my chips.”

The boy beside you only grins, tosses that lazy smile in your direction before turning his attention back to the explosion on the screen, entire expression lit up by the fireworks that explode in flashes of colour.

You think you’ve gotten away with it - that he hasn’t noticed - and then he’s speaking again, pointedly staring forward, seemingly unbothered. (You know better though. Jungkook’s infuriating like that, picking up on all the little things despite the fact that he’s a dumb boy, too good at reading between the lines when he barely studies.)

“You’re blushing.”

The callout is, well, uncalled for.

You choose to ignore him at first, opting to shove two chocolates past your lips. They’re unbearably sweet, minty and cold - your favourite - and the richness spills across your tongue, eliciting a soft hum as your teeth buzz from the sugar. (Note to self: thank Jungkook for the chocolate later.)

“You’re blushing,” you retort once you’ve swallowed, cheeks puffed out and a dent gathering between your brows. “I’m just—“ Hand waves wildly - nearly hits him in the face with how wobbly it is - and you pretend-glare at him, faux affront laid in spades. “—hot.”

It comes snappier than you mean it to, spoken in something close to a pout. You aren’t actually. The campus is notorious for having garbage heating, floorboards more akin to packed snow in the dead of winter. It’s just annoying. You refuse to be another one of those girls.

(Not that there’s anything wrong with said girls. It’s more an issue with Jungkook, stupidly handsome and charming and far too popular for his own good. People already told you all about Jungkook’s escapades - even though you often heard them from him firsthand and in gruelling detail. One of the downsides to being friends with someone who, for all intents and purposes, carried the title of campus heartthrob.)

“Pay attention to the movie.” The same hand reaches for the mix again, careful to avoid brushing his this time. You think you’ve succeeded, snatching up a piece of pretzel, morsel halfway to your mouth when it drops to your lap.

The same lap that suddenly has a hand on it, palm warm over your knee.

If you’d thought your nerve endings were shot, now you knew they were. Every inch of skin was on fire - heat shooting up your spine and over your neck the moment his hand comes in contact with bare skin. Damn your need for comfort, damn your choice to wear shorts, damn his freaking hot tattooed hands—

You almost yell at him. The sound’s on the tip of your tongue when you bite down, stare trained wholly on the movie and the blood that splatters across the screen..

Really, you shouldn't be surprised. You’ve known Jungkook for nearly two years - okay, not quite. You’ve heard all the rumours about him, the whispered words that sound something like playboy and flirt and be careful. You know and yet you’ve found yourself in this situation, desperately trying to figure out what the hell is going through his mind as you stare straight ahead, refusing to move a muscle.

His profile is picture perfect from your periphery; he's focused too, acting like he's done nothing wrong. Sly as a fox, as always.

“Still blushing,” he repeats conversationally, as if he’s commenting on the colour of the sky or how cold it is in your room. Not as if he’s got a hand where it shouldn’t be, ink spilling over his skin in pretty patterns, burning the shape of it where he touches.

"I didn't blush.” It’s a retort made for only argument’s sake and even then, without weight. Feather soft and feeble in an attempt to keep your voice level. It's hard when you’re burning up, a livewire settled where you feel him. "I'm not blushing."

It's a lie - you can feel the flush, embarrassment flooding from your cheeks all the way down over your chest. It’s an inferno beneath your skin, lava coursing through your veins.

It spreads further and further, blooms somewhere new when his hand drifts lower, tracking across the soft inner of your thigh. Doesn’t cease even when his hand does, palm firm over your leg, the ghost of a touch passing so close to your core you can’t help but jolt. It’s as if he’s rearranged your pieces, mixed them all up. A brush of his finger over your clothed entrance feels like it hits you right in the chest, snaps your heart to attention. It roars to life, thundering madly, pulse erratic when he repeats the gesture, with that much more pressure.

You’re dripping, you realise to your horror, cotton of your thong sticking to your skin, grey of your shorts made darker by the arousal that spills over the one not-so-innocent digit.

A part of you wants to run from the room. Nearly do, heart hammering in your chest when Jungkook's face is suddenly too close, the warmth of his breath stifling against your neck. It feels good, anticipation and desire fizzing in your stomach like fountain pop. (The movie theatre kind, that’s somehow flat and too bubbly all at once.)

"Kook." You mean to say it reproachfully, with a hand pushing his wrist away. Instead it comes out like a whisper, a soft sigh of his name that sounds almost needy, laced with worry and anticipation that makes you want to tear your own hair out. Fingers remain locked around bone, other hand digging into the blanket and the linen beneath it, searching desperately for some form of composure beneath the material.

For the first time, you hazard a glance - know it’ll be bad for your own well-being - dropping your stare to where his hand rests. (You have to admit - you like the sight of those tattoos, a stark contrast to the unblemished softness.)

Like it almost as much as his kisses, the first of which lands exactly where you want it most. Delicate, polite, right on the junction of your jaw. A sigh escapes before you can help it. "Shy girl,” he coos, teasing in a way that makes your heart skip a beat.

“I’m not shy,” you huff - try to, anyway, around the kaleidoscope of butterflies that are threatening to choke you. "We're watching a movie." You’re trying to redirect his attention, even as you’re desperate for it, even as you think you’d give your whole heart for it.

You’re this close to combusting, eyes widening the moment he extracts his hand and tucks it back into the bowl of chips. A part of you wants to yell at him - for starting this in the first place but mainly for leaving you high and dry, turned on and soaking through your underwear.

(It’s not fair, but then again, you’d never expected them to be. You’ve seen the rules Jungkook plays by - namely those of his own creation. Term paper due the next morning? He’d somehow pull it out of his ass that night. Break something at a house party? He’d be let off with a smile and a wave, those doe eyes of his utterly lethal when paired with his pout.)

“Watch the movie then.” He sounds almost bored, utterly unbothered as he seamlessly slips back into the proper role of friend, classmate, study partner.

"Let's." Without tossing another glance in his direction, you stare straight ahead, own hand delving for snacks. So what if you very purposely brush your fingers against the pieces he's just touched, popping the pieces into your mouth before slotting your thumb against your tongue, cheeks hollowing around to suck the last bits of salt and butter off.

Despite your nerves - you’re hoping he's watching - you readjust, bringing knees up, crossing legs until one is resting atop his own thick thigh. The full of your bottom lip disappears between your teeth, worried to within an inch of its life as you shift beside him, seemingly manoeuvring your shorts into their rightful position.

(You’re not. They’re hitched higher than they were, barely worthy of the title of shorts, more akin to a belt. So revealing it’s almost uncomfortable, wet of your arousal sticking them to your skin.)

(Two could play this game.)

(Maybe him better than you, but still.)

You know what you’re doing and yet you’re somehow surprised when he’s suddenly disappeared from your side and situated himself in front of you, eating up too much of the space on your small double bed. “What’re you—“ The question disappears in the same moment he does, unable to track his movements when Jungkook slips forward, pressing his mouth over yours.

You’ve kissed a lot of people. (Okay, not a lot, but enough.) You were a senior in college, where kissing was like talking and fucking happened more often than dating.

You’ve never kissed Jungkook before.

Why hadn’t you?

His lips are terribly soft, pink and pouted, slanting across yours as if he’s trying to devour you. There’s no semblance of delicacy, nothing gentle and sweet like those brushes against your neck. They’re forceful, demanding payment in full when his tongue glides over the seam, seeking entrance despite the fact that you think he might’ve slipped in anyway.

There’s not a single wall he couldn’t break down, not a lock he couldn’t pick. Not with how he moves, purposeful and reassured, tongue sliding over yours, sucking it into his mouth as if it’s something he does every day. (Which it very well could be - just not with you.)

“Shy girl,” he repeats with a mouth filled with affection, praise that pours over you honey sweet and sticky. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”

The thing is, you’re not pretending. You’re half-afraid this entire moment is going to explode into a thousand pieces, a dream shattered by reality. You hope it doesn’t. Couldn’t bear it when he feels so nice, hand spanning your waist, tucked beneath the safety of your shirt and the fleece blanket between you.

“I’m not.”

“Oh?” There’s something in his eyes, something that coils heat in the pit of your stomach. You swear you can see the devil sitting on his shoulder, gleeful little smile rearranging his features. “Do I make you nervous, ____?”

Did he? Of course he did. Had, even before you’d known him.

(You’d grown comfortable, though. Found a way to separate the popular heartthrob from your friend.)

But you’ve lost your marbles, gone certifiably insane when you make a noise that sounds nothing like you. Because you’re once again far too interested in the way Jungkook’s touching you, manhandling you as if you’re some sort of puppet. It really shouldn’t turn you on so much, slick coating your bare thighs when he guides you onto your back, pushes you back against your too many pillows.

He’s your friend and he’s told you all about the way he fucks girls until they can’t walk.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want the same treatment, though.

The moment Jungkook’s mouth finds your skin - sensitive and soft and so close to your soaked core - you keen, hands immediately flying into his silky head of hair. It threads between your fingers like fine silk, filaments of gold overlaid in colour by the movie that still plays.

“Oh my god,” you gasp, entire body arching off the back of the bed in an effort to bring some form of relief. You can’t help the heat that burns your cheeks or how you sound, begging and pleading as you tug gently at his blond roots. “Don’t tease me.”

You’re not asking very nicely but you figure Jungkook will give in. It’s his fault, after all.

His fault - which you don’t mind when he hooks fabric aside and drags his tongue across your slit, the flat of his tongue arching your back from the bed. Can’t mind when he does it again, rounded nose bumping against your clit. You’re trying to stay just a little bit decent, moans soft and caught between your teeth. You’re practically biting a hole through your lip in an effort to stay quiet, hands curled into fists. Gold spills between them and you imagine it hurts but he doesn’t stop, only works harder to drive you crazy.

Of course he’s good at this. Too good, if you’re being honest.

You’re dripping, legs trembling in his firm, unyielding grip. There's molten heat building in your stomach, creeping up your spine, and with each pass of his tongue over your sensitive core, it only expands. You want more - need it - and almost beg when he catches your clit between his teeth. A breathy baby spills out on accident when your eyes meet, gaze half-lidded.

It’s bad for your health, how good he looks right now, chin slick, lips rubied and pretty like jewels. “Shy girl sounds so pretty.”

There's something about his praise that completely ruins you, the words dragging a delighted, sexpot moan off your tongue. You want him to tell you how pretty you are now and later, over and over.

You want to be his pretty girl.

"I want you. I need more," you whine, hips rutting desperately, slick messy across your thighs and shining across Jungkook's mouth. He smiles then - brighter than the sun, utterly radiant, so devastatingly handsome you swear your brain short circuits - and then he’s doing exactly as you’ve asked.

He eats you out like it’s an art form, flicking his tongue over your clit with practiced precision, sucking the pearl between his lips. When he grazes his teeth over it - just the lightest pressure - you jolt, the feeling of a finger sliding into you stealing the breath from your lungs.

He’s always had nice hands, big broad palms and long fingers. They reach places you could never hope to, stretching you deliciously when he sinks another in alongside the first, exploring you with ease. The sting is slight, the fullness overriding any pain, further dulled by the suction of his mouth on your clit.

He even hums when he finds the spot he’s been looking for, hooking his fingers against it and pressing. (You swear you see stars; you know you feel him smile, lips spread like butter over your skin when you sob.)

You can’t help yourself, writhing and moaning, trying to ride his face with a desperation that has your chest heaving. It feels so good to have him between your legs. You almost miss the appearance of his other hand - in view for but a moment before it disappears past the waistband of his sweats. Dark as they are, pitch black like most of his clothing, it’s impossible to miss the way he touches himself. It has you even needier, pussy clenching at the thought of him fisting his own hard cock.

“Do you want a hand?” You ask as if you’re doing him a favour and not salivating at the prospect, eyes wide, blinking down at him from behind thick lashes.

“Fuck.” He’s sin incarnate, undeniable when he sheds his sweats, kicks them off with just one hand, other still slotted snug against your pussy. He never ceases his movements, fucking you on his fingers even as he sits upright, leaned back on his calves. “You want a taste? Shy girl wants a big fat cock in her mouth?”

There's something about hearing him so turned on, the expletive shooting a dizzying bolt of desire straight between yours legs. You’ve seen Jungkook worked up - he was awfully competitive, after all, dominating most intramural sports, breaking PR records in the gym - but it's something else completely when he's making you drip cum all over his hand.

"Wow.”

Jungkook's cock is pretty, flushed and glossy from the pre-cum he spreads with his thumb, massaging over the tip like it owes him something.

You want to taste it.

A contented hum rolls off your tongue at his question, though you don’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. His ego's big enough without it and you’re much more interested in stroking something else. Still, you lean into his palm, nuzzling your cheek against the warmth of it when he threads his hand through your hair, gathering it in his fist.

Then without looking away, your mouth falls open, tongue peeking past your lips to lick a fat stripe up the length of his cock, from base to tip. It's hot and heavy on your tongue, the salty taste of his pre-cum better than candy. You hum again, swirling your tongue around the head, and keep your gaze locked with Jungkook's, almost smirking when you drag your tongue over his fingers, gently grazing the edge of your teeth against the pad of his thumb.

“Please.” You’re usually far more reserved, not the kind to ask for more until you’re three months into dating and certain of where you stand. You simply can’t help yourself now, the feeling of your own wetness painting your skin, making you clench around nothing. "I need it."

The groan that comes sounds more like Christmas, a gift given by Santa Claus himself. It filters into your ears and has you grinning up at him, not even bothering to hide the pride that flutters your lashes and has you pursing your lips around the head of his cock.

When he speaks again, it’s dangerously quiet, low in his throat, laced with whatever same emotion that seems to shackle your limbs. “Open up, ____,” he instructs, though he offers little time to adjust, guiding his cock forward, stuffing your mouth full. “Show me how bad.”

You don’t mind. If you were to speak, it’d practically be a prayer, tongue tracing the veins that run the length. A chorus of yes please more when he takes just as much as he gives. You love the power that comes with Jungkook speaking so filthily, drunk on it when he continues, spewing filth in time with each rock of his hips.

Lips seal around the swollen head each time he withdraws, cheeks hollowing around the tip. Tongue passes over his fingers again before your hand rises, fingers curling around his wrist to pull his own away. (You probably shouldn't - it's too romantic - but thread your fingers through his in the same instant you sink down upon his cock, taking him halfway before pulling off with a pop!)

"Do you think you'll last long enough to fuck me?" You’re pushing his buttons on purpose, just like he had yours during the movie.

Something close to a snarl comes, a growl that reverberates out of that big cavernous chest of his, and he grips your hair tighter, tries to hold you still as he grins down at you. The expression is so at odds with the warmth in his eyes, the boyish tilt of his head.

You repeat the motion again and again, taking him a little bit deeper until the head brushes the back of your throat, reflexively swallowing around the intrusion. He's still so long and thick you haven’t even taken him all, drooling around his length, breathing through your nose and pushing past the desire to gag. Then you relax your jaw just a little more, humming when your nose brushes the neatly groomed patch of hair at his base.

Your free hand slinks across his thigh, nails digging into the meat, delighted by the flex of muscle and sinew beneath your hand. He's so hard, both on your tongue and beneath your touch. It prompts you to shift forward just a bit more - you can feel the slick on your thighs, dripping down onto the sheets with each movement - and trace across his thigh to gently palm his balls.

If you could speak, you’d probably ask for more. For Jungkook to use and abuse your throat as much as he wants. As it stands, you can only moan around him, spit and his pre-cum smeared over your lips.

“Look at you.” He’s talking to himself, lost in his own world as he fucks into your mouth, soothes the pad of his thumb over your cheek. You adore the way he sounds now, dazed and a little messed up. “Look so pretty with my cock in your mouth, ____.”

You can’t do much more than look up at him, batting your lashes when he compliments you, dragging your tongue everywhere you can reach as the head of his cock batters the back of your throat. It's not an easy feat, drool all the way down your chin, trailing down your neck and staining the silk of your camisole.

At some point, you’ll need to pull off - get a proper breath of air - but not now. Instead, you swallow around him, savouring the feeling of him filling your mouth, and squeeze gently at his balls. When you wink up at him, it's half-hearted and with moisture in your eyes, lining lashes in the form of little gemstones.

You do it again and again, moaning lewdly around his cock before it gets too much, pulling off of him with a gasping breath and tears down your cheeks. “Is it my turn yet?” You’re only half-joking, made needier by the soreness in your throat, the same you want to feel so desperately between your legs. Pressing a sweet, chaste peck to his head, tongue dipping into his slit to gather the pre-cum that leaks out, you offer the sweetest smile you can, saccharine sweet and soft.

“Your turn?” The way Jungkook snorts is derisive, playful. It pulls straight off his tongue - which finds yours, swapping spit as he guides you back to the bed. Teeth collide, lips grown swollen by the intensity of your kiss, and you startle when he nips hard at the bottom petal. “I thought you were shy.”

“I am,” you retort, returning the gesture, biting into the curve of his jaw with surprising repose. Colour blooms beneath the edge of enamel, a smattering of colour that makes you smile, eager to leave more.

Which you would do, if Jungkook weren’t stripping before you, peeling his shirt from his front, tugging it over his head in that weirdly hot way that somehow all boys did. It reveals skin in a single fluid pull, clothing discarded to the side before he levels you with a smile of his own, one that stirs to life the dimple in his cheek, eyes squinting with the intensity of his delight. He looks deceptively sweet this way, nothing like the demon who’d just stuffed his cock down your throat.

You’re not sure which version of him you like best.

Seeing him now, dressed in nothing but that absurd, devilishly handsome grin of his, you’re not prepared. You’re unsure where to look, gaze bouncing between the tattoos that crawl up his arms and span over his left pec, down the neatly defined ridges of his abs, and all the way back to his swollen, shiny cock.

“You’re drooling.” Of course it’s something he’d say - because he always knows what to say, plucking perfect words from thin air. The casual banter calms the rattle in your chest and refocuses it on his face that’s too close, looming over yours as his hands make quick work of your clothes, shedding the fabric from your form with deft, measured movements.

You’re ready to say something teasing - anything to distract from the fact that you’re still ogling him - when he catches you in another kiss, softer this time, infinitely sweeter. Suddenly, you’re shy - which really makes no sense, given what’s transpired.

"Don't make fun of me," you mumble, as bashful as you were during the movie, embarrassment burning across your cheeks. Arms rise to cover what little of your chest you can, folding around his broad palms that encompass them whole, tweaking at the straining buds.

“I’m not,” Jungkook reassures against your lips, face dropping into the crook of your neck. He nuzzles against you, sucking affection into the column of your throat, shamelessly laying a wreath of lust into the delicate skin. You wonder whether he can hear the stutter of your pulse, the reaction his next words elicit. “You’re pretty when you do it.”

You can’t quite pull your eyes away from his face, shrouded in lemon tart, so good-looking it’s unfair; his broad back and the muscle that threads it, undulating with each movement; or the way his thighs flex between your spread knees. You’re dragged through heaven and hell by the brush of his lips, each glide overstimulating your senses to the point of no return. You’re still burning up, all the foreplay leaving your legs like jelly, cunt dripping with need. "I bet you say that to all the girls."

Probably not the best thing to say with the position you’re in but the reality of the situation is hitting you and you’re feeling a little vulnerable. Want an answer that’ll soften the sharp edges of his teeth, the intoxicating glint in his stare.

“No, just you.” Whether it’s true or not, you can’t say for certain. You hope it is - wish upon a star for it, laying all your hopes and dreams into the constellations in his eyes. They’re lovely, winking down at you from the darkest depths, guiding you home.

You don’t mean to scoff - really, you don’t. It comes of its own accord, spilling forth like a glass too full.

“You don’t believe me?” He sounds almost offended, the picture of innocence when he reaches down, hand scrambling about for pooled black fabric. Comes back up with a packet between his index and middle finger, held aloft like a prize.

How can you when he’s ready to devour you whole, primed to feast as he rolls the condom over his length, stroking himself once, twice, gaze never wavering from where it rests between your legs.

“Always prepared.” It’s scathing but somehow tender, too mesmerised by the way he fucks into his loose fist. You’d say more - maybe make a flippant comment about his reputation - but can’t find the words when he’s teasing you, swollen head tapping teasingly over your core. It feels like too much, leaves you breathless when he hikes your legs up and nearly folds you in half.

When he presses into you, the sound you make is sinful, a moan you can’t help. Jungkook’s so fucking big you’re sure you’re about to split in half, pussy clenching tight around the sudden intrusion. “Oh my god,” you whine, hands coiling into his hair, trying desperately to relax, the sting of the stretch battling the pressure that builds as he sinks further in. “You’re so big. I c-can’t—” You’re starting to babble nonsense and he hasn’t even begun moving yet, lips hot over the sweat-slick column of his throat when he bows, burning his presence into the grace of your neck. A hickey of your own creation blooms right where your mouth is, right over his shoulder. The salt of his skin distracts you, makes it easier to accommodate the fullness. “You feel so good, Kook.” You rock experimentally beneath him, clenching tight as if to draw him deeper. “Please, move,” you beg, aiming to form another bruise beneath his skin.

The first thrust chases all the breath from your lungs, a gasp ricocheting off your tongue and into the minimal space between you. He's absurdly big, stretching you out so well that every stroke feels like heaven. When he pushes back in, snaps his hips in that easy, effortless motion of his, you’re making the most obscene noises, words lost to his hair as he lavishes your tits with attention.

B-big! is all you manage to squeak out. It sounds like that, anyway. With how he's filling you, it's hard to speak coherently; you can practically feel him in your throat. (Or maybe that's just from choking on him earlier. You’re not really sure.)

Hands find their way around his neck, over his shoulders, periwinkle-painted nails leaving light etchings in their wake. They bloom colour over his back - not too hard, careful still, motor skills barely functioning - before you tangle your fingers in his hair, holding him recklessly close as the pressure builds and builds, flooding your abdomen in heat.

There’s slick all across your thighs. You can hear the wet sounds each time Jungkook slips almost all the way out and then rocks back in. It's terribly messy and so hot but you’re greedy, drunk off the feeling of having this Adonis break you in half. "Harder, p-please." Eyes wide, you tug gently at the soft strands at the nape of his neck, meeting his with a flutter of your lashes. "Please?"

He acquiesces without hesitation, fucks you harder, deeper, like an animal in a rut. Grinds against you with each thrust, pushing you to your limits. Even has the audacity to push further, until the strain in your hips conflicts with the pleasure skipping up your spine, melting you into a boneless mass.

You’ve never felt like this, stretched out and used. You’re used to gentle lovers, sweet - if not boring - lovemaking. The way Jungkook's pounding into you is unheard of and you’re loving it, his name whimpered on a feedback loop. A steady Kook, Kook, Kook that twinkles in your ears, inarticulate and pleading as you rock shamelessly against him.

“You like that, ____?” It’s a question for his own ego, something he knows but asks anyway. (It’d be impossible not to know the answer when your cunt’s sucking him in, coating his cock in a pretty sheen.)

You’re nodding dumbly, breathless, eager to meet him each time he snaps forward. (It’s not easy like this, practically prone beneath him, twisted into a pretzel.) "Like it so m-much. Feels so good.” You can’t stop smoothing open mouthed kisses over his fluffy hair, basking in the sunshine that radiates off him.

There's an ache starting between your legs, pussy swollen around his thick length. You’re grateful for your natural flexibility, the hot yoga sessions you’d entertained on-and-off for years. You’re sure you’d feel it in your legs too, knees pushed all the way up by your ears, if not for that.

But still, you’re defenceless, made to experience each and every thing he has to offer: every vein and ridge, the head of his cock reaching so deep it's almost too much. With each stroke, Jungkook’s brushing against the sensitive spot that has pleasure skyrocketing, blossoming like a rose garden in spring. "R-right there," you manage, rolling your hips purposefully, nearly crying each time he brushes against your g-spot.

“Right there?” He parrots it back, infuriating and adorable, the teasing tenor dripping over you like raindrops. They settle beneath your skin, sinking into your bones as he rears back just enough, enough to steal a kiss that’s far more tongue than it needs to be.

It’s almost as if he’s trying to drown you, sink you beneath high tide.

Spit descends down your chin, trails over your neck and it’s a little gross but you don’t care. The attention he’s giving is shameless, passed over your cheeks, your throat, your breasts. He gives and gives, both with his lips and the praise that comes unfettered. “Perfect,” he hums, sucking your nipple into his mouth, worrying the bud until it’s straining and puffy, too sensitive when he kisses you again and your own thigh brushes against it. You whimper at the feeling, pulling softly at his hair, unsure whether you want less or need more. “So sensitive. Such a shy girl. Such a pretty girl.”

Every word of praise has you beaming, nearly purring with delight despite the pain that comes when he puts you through the same once more, laving over the other bud with abandon. He's sweat-slick, beads of it running down his neck, over the mosaic of bruises you’ve left behind. It's almost embarrassing how dark his throat is coloured, a dozen reminders left all over his skin.

(You wonder how long they’ll last, how many days will pass as the colour shifts, changing like autumn leaves. Whether they’ll still be there at your next lecture, if he’ll wear them with pride or cover up beneath one of his big baggy sweaters.)

(You hope it’s the latter.)

(Maybe he’ll let you give him more.)

(Maybe he—)

There’s a change of pace and you’re crying out, hiccupping with each thrust, the head of his cock finding your g-spot with unbearable, unrelenting precision. Clawing at his arms, long nails digging into the firm muscle of his biceps, something between a sob and a plea rolls off your tongue, over and over. "So big. It's too m-much.” And yet you don’t want him to stop, punch drunk from the way he reaches deep and pulls you tighter against him, hips risen off the bed.

You’re begging again, eyes rolled so far back in your head you can hardly focus, the coil in your stomach pulled so tight you know it's about to snap. When Jungkook laughs - a sweet giggle that proves his duality - you clench almost painfully, tears finally spilling over.

One last brush against your most sensitive spot, one last thrust of that monster cock, and you’re peaking, coming so intensely you feel as if you’re soaring. Everything's suddenly so much more wet, release soaking into the linens beneath you, coating your thighs and his legs and dripping between you.

You’ve never come like this before, without some sort of direct stimulation on your clit. It’s pleasurable in a different way, severing all your sensibilities, explosive in its magnitude. It tingles beneath your skin, flooding all your senses.

"Kook—please—come for me.” You’re rocking up, forward - trying to, at least, folded as you are - singing his name, pleading for him to fuck his cum into you (momentarily ignorant to the fact that you’ve been responsible, a thin wall of latex separating you from your fucked out fantasy).

Despite the sensitivity, you’re clenching around him, eager to bring him to his own high. You want to feel him come apart above you, eroded into a mess like you are.

He’s just as pretty reaching his peak as he is at any other time, handsome face screwed up as if he’s reached nirvana, bliss slacking his features the longer he rides it out, bucking into you as he fills the condom and still doesn’t stop. It’s almost unbearable, oversensitivity spilling into pleasure until he leisurely grinds to a halt, stops the inconsistent pressure against your bundle of nerves, the assault on your fluttering walls.

When he collapses against you, whole face squished between the valley of your breasts, you can’t help but laugh, the sound breathless and endeared. “Are you okay?” You don’t mind where he is, weight comforting, skin sticky on yours. He’s unbelievably warm - a blanket fresh from the wash and yet so much better, lulling you into a sense of security.

“Better than okay,” he murmurs against your chest, smothering open-mouthed kisses over skin, snickering when you jolt at the feel of his teeth over your nipple one last time. “You’re welcome.” It’s an indulgent, facetious expression of gratitude, one that you haven’t asked for. You laugh all the same, ducking your head into the crown of spun gold atop his head.

“You too.”

tag list. @neverthefirstchoice @youwannabelostandnotbefound @codeinebelle

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maliciouslycreative · 3 years ago

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How I played damage control to an anti in a small anime fandom and may have led to her ultimate downfall

I know I had a really nice write up of this at one point but oh well. I’ll spill more of the tea in this one because honestly the tea was so hot.

There are a few things that I have to give context to first. Gaia online was like THE mega forum of the 2000s, you made a little avatar and through posting and doing other activities on the forum you made money to buy clothes for your avatar. There were forums for everything but the fannish portions were really what drew in most of the people. The anime I was into was Beyblade. It was a shonen anime about fighting with tops that were possessed by the spirits of magical creatures. The story was honestly pretty average but the characters were fantastic and the fandom is to this day still one of my favourites. The series had a primarily male cast and didn’t even have a female lead until the second season. This led to the fanfic for the English fandom being about 70% canon/OC, 10 % canon m/f, and 20% slash. The most popular character in the English fandom was by far Kai Hiwatari, the loner badboy of the team.

Also before we get started I would like to add that one of my best friends was neck deep in this and the two of us were more or less fandom married. This is the same friend that I fake dated, had feelings for, and she nearly got me into kpop in 2011 so like if you haven’t read that story please read it too because it will give you a good idea of how stupid I am and how much of a fanfic I have truly lived.

To set the stage I was 16, soon to be 17 when I joined the fandom and it was 2004. In September of that year I wrote a humour longfic that became an absolute smash hit and I found myself somehow fandom famous. It was around this time that I joined Gaia online. I made my little avatar and immediately went looking for the beyblade thread so that I could make new friends. I found the main thread, made my little introduction and at the end of it mentioned that I was a slash writer but I supported all ships. This is where I met C. She had declared herself the authority on Beyblade in these parts and I had just committed the crime of mentioning slash which was very obviously not canon and we did not discuss in this thread because we only discussed canon things. I was like well that’s a bit severe but like sure whatever I just want to hang out and have fun.

Oh boy did I have no idea what I was in for.

C was a year older than me and unfortunately that made her older than the majority of the fans at the time. Her favourite character was Kai, and she was not shy about talking about this fact. She stanned Kai above all other characters, and often at their expense. She was also a fanfic writer of a popular canon/OC series. Actually, she was so full of herself that she didn’t even call herself a fanfic writer, no her stories were in fact novels and were apparently very good. I never read them. But more on that later.

Eventually the slash fans got tired of her being rude to us in the general thread so we made a Beyblade slash thread. There was a core of like 8 or so of us and we honestly had sooo much fun. When C would be too unbearable in the main thread the people from there used to come over to our thread and we’d chat with them about non slash stuff because we were honestly all multishippers and just wanted to have fun. We’d get comments like “wow, I’ve had more pleasant canon het ship discussions in the slash thread than the regular thread”. We never worried about C coming over and getting upset about comments like this because she refused to be associated with anything related with slash lmao.

I tried my best to keep the peace between C, myself, and the rest of the fandom because ultimately I hate being in fandom drama. I just want everyone to have a good time. I’m a people pleaser. Unfortunately my newfound fame put me in the awkward position of being the most fandom popular person in our small community aside from C. Virtually every fan that read fanfics that came into our thread knew one of us or the other by reputation and C HATED this. Especially because people would come in to the thread, recognise me and go “oh my goodness I love your fanfics!” and I’d be super sweet with them and it’d lead into “I can’t believe how nice you are, I love you” which would lead to us crying at each other. This was not the kind of fan interaction that C got, no her fans were more kind that were there to praise her and worship her like a deity that had blessed them with some gift. Rarely did they tell her how kind she was.

Back in the mid 2000s there were really commonly those commercials (usually by Christian organisations) asking people to sponsor say children in Africa or to help build schools or provide drinking water. You all probably know the ones; know the language that they used in those commercials. My fandom wife, who I suppose I shall call wifey because yes we were THAT couple back then, once said that C described her fics like those people described donating money to save the lives of Children in Africa. So we used to joke that her fics were so good they’d save lives in Africa. Looking back at it all, she almost had a very fundamentalist Christian approach to bringing people into her fanfics. She of course tried to get all the slash people into reading it. None of us read canon/oc fic mostly due to our poor treatment at the hands of their fans and creators. Getting fed up I one day told her that if she would read any one of my fanfics that I would read the entirety of her novels. Yes, I was willing to commit to read a couple 100k of canon/oc fanfic that I’d never touch normally if she would even read one of my 1k 1 shots. Heck, I had a fic even that shipped 2 minor characters so she didn’t even have to sully herself reading about one of the main characters. It was honestly a good deal in her favour. I kept this up until the day we all left the fandom. Sometimes I do wonder if her fics were even ¼ as good as she claimed, but I will never know because she refused to read my fics.

She wasn’t all bad and a tyrant all the time. As long as people kept the conversations on track and didn’t come in to the thread saying things like “KAI IS SO HOT ND T3H BEST N I AM GUN 2 MARRY HIM” she stayed mostly civil. It was always hilarious watching InuYahsa or Naruto fans try to come in and bad mouth Beyblade because they’d unleash the dragon and C was great at chasing off undesirables in the thread.

The real apex of goings on though on Gaia was the guild drama. So guilds were like exclusive themed mini forums within Gaia. Anyone could buy one and run it however they want, as long as it still adhered to Gaia’s ToS. C of course was the owner of the only Beyblade guild. The fandom wasn’t really big enough to support 2 guilds so we just kind of let it go. Technically she allowed people to post slash fanfics but like everything had to be explicitly tagged and there was absolutely no slash RP. Wifey and I controlled a handful of minor characters together in the forum RP and definitely used to try to push the boundaries a little bit. Some ambiguous flirting here, a stray comment there. It was such a fragile balance though because C was heavy on the ban button. The active portion of the guild was just people that were in the cult of C and worshipped her writing.

Understandably the other slash fans and myself were getting disheartened by this. So we pooled our funds together and decided that we’d open a second guild that though it was run by slash fans we would welcome anyone into our ranks. We just wanted to have a fun place for everyone to hang out, and to hopefully run a few events out of. In hindsight, we should have seen what would happen. When we opened the guild, with me as the guild leader, it was like somebody blew up the whole dam protecting the delicate ecosystem we had cultivated. Every single person in the Gaia fandom that was not a zealous follower of C applied to be in our guild and left her guild. We of course figured that we’d attract some of the gen population but we did not expect to accidentally poach all of it. All of the moderators were getting messages from people thanking us for giving them a place where they could say whatever they wanted without fear of getting their faces ripped off or banned.

C lost her shit. She was so mad that we went behind her back to ruin her guild. We literally had to show her posts in the very public slash thread that we had been planning this in public and that it was not to ruin her life. We just wanted a place where we could freely post slash. The two of us had some spicy comments back and forth and then she dropped an absolute bombshell on me. Since Gaia’s mail system is terrible I unfortunately no longer have exactly what she said but it was something along the lines of “Ok, you win. I’m going to close my guild.”. Us slash fans had never been doing this to win anything. We had never been competing. We just wanted a safe space to be ourselves.

C never joined our guild. The fandom slowly faded out within the next year anyway. We weren’t getting new content so naturally people just drifted into other fandoms. C kept up with the main Beyblade thread for a lot longer than most of us but eventually that eventually faded into obscurity too.

I learned a lot about fandom bullies from those days. But honestly the thing that stuck with me the most out of everything was that if you provide a positive safe space for people they will flock to it. It may seem like there are so many hostile people out there, but there really aren't. They're the minority but they just make sure that their voice is the loudest. The best way is to ignore them and just do your own thing. The bullies just want attention and if you don’t give it to them and prove to them that their opinion doesn’t matter to you then they’ll move in and find something else to yell at.

#malicious musings #stacey's adventures in fandom drama #lol #honestly it was such a fucking wild time #if i think of any other specific instances of drama i'll add them #god i wish i had screenshots of some of what went on #but sadly going through archived gaia posts is easier said than done

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twoblueheartslocked · 3 years ago

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Seblaine- Present Day (End Of July/YEAR 1)

Para: Now I Wake Up By Your Side My One and Only, My Lifeline

Rating: NC-17.

Pairing: Seblaine.

Sebastian: @colorsicantsee

Blaine: @twoblueheartslocked

Time: Year One: Present Day- End of July, about a month after You’re Every Song I’ve Ever Loved.

Location: Sebastian’s Apartment- Manhattan, New York

Info: Blaine gets brave and spends the weekend at Sebastian’s apartment. Blaine lets himself explore Sebastian even more. They have a heart to heart.

Warnings: This particular Para is smutty and sweet. Also has major mentions of past abuse. This rp as a whole mentions past abuse(Physical, mental and sexual), post unwanted sexual situations, anxiety, depression, negative body image, drug use, alcohol use, cussing, death(parents).

Extra Warnings: (This RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. You’ve all been warned.)

Title Taken From: Dress by Taylor Swift

Under Cut for content. As usual, the para is mostly unedited.

Blaine’s POV:

The scorching July sun beat down on Blaine as he swiftly and hurriedly shuffled down the last two blocks to get to Sebastian’s apartment, head down so people would leave him be. It was the kind of melted butter day where the world felt too bright and sticky and everything had a muted orange sheen to it, like an old film from the 1970’s. Still there was beauty to it, the way the early evening glow slowly dripped and sizzled over the city in a lazy haze. He was still a bit frazzled from his short subway ride over to Manhattan, his arms still tightly locked around Soot’s little cat carrier to clutch her close. She seemed to be just as anxious as he was, her orange eyes wide and worried.

He hated taking the Subway, it was cramped and people liked to talk to you and get into your face and sometimes they even tried and succeeded in touching you. People screamed at each other and sometimes there were fights and it was all so triggering that he almost regretted doing it, however, it was the fastest way to Sebastian’s apartment and he didn’t want his boyfriend to think he was completely incompetent. He’d declined Seb’s offer to send an uber or taxi and declined his offer to send his driver. He’d also declined Seb’s offer to drive over himself… He’d told him he’d be fine and to just let him do this. Because Blaine wanted and needed to do this on his own.

If he were going to be making an effort to visit his boyfriend at his home more often he needed to get there on his own. Seb managed to get to him just fine. They’d spent the last seven months sort of pretending that Blaine’s little slice of Brooklyn was the only part of New York that existed and it was entirely selfish of Blaine to ask that it remain that way. He used to love Manhattan, but now he only came here rarely for certain school things he couldn’t do in Brooklyn. However, maybe with Sebastian he could learn to love it again. He was an adult and he was getting better and more comfortable with himself and his skin every day that he spent with Sebastian in his life.

He tried not to think too hard about that though because here he was, acting as if he’d taken a huge step and yet he’d had to bring his cat with him like a security blanket. He’d told Seb it was because she was scared to be alone for the two days Blaine planned to be gone, but he knew that it was entirely for him. Soot would have been fine on her own. She liked to sleep in his window almost all day and played with her toys loudly at night more often than not. With enough food and water she’d have been fine for forty eight hours. Blaine just couldn't bring himself to close the door in her adorable little face and walk away for that long though. Seb had promised him it was okay for her to come and that he’d already taken care of what she’d need there even before Blaine had asked. Of course he did.

Blaine finally managed to find Sebastian’s building, the brick on the front of it a light shade of grey, which was surprising because it appeared so clean, light colors wouldn't be so clean on Blaine’s block. The alternating greys were so different from the grimy brick on his

Building and Blaine instantly felt self conscious. He took a deep breath and pulled Soot’s mini crate closer, shushing her little mews gently as he tightened his grip on his backpack.

“You can tell he’s here, can’t you?” Maybe she couldn’t, but the little ball of energy suddenly was all meows and feistiness as they neared the entrance of the building. Seb had been around at least two times a week since they’d gotten her and Blaine had secretly taken to calling Seb her papa in his head. Not that he’d ever say that to his boyfriend or anything. But she loved him and he seemed to enjoy her just as much, spoiling her each time he visited. It seemed Sebastian had a thing for spoiling those he cared about- Blaine was still reeling from the compact little record player that had been sent to his apartment not even three days after their record store date. The thought made Blaine smile and he felt himself relax as he pushed Seb’s buzzer and before he knew it he was standing just inside Sebastian’s apartment, his shabby slip ons mucking up the perfect hardwood.

The one bedroom apartment was huge by New York City standards and built for a bachelor. Blaine wanted to curl into himself. Creeping thoughts about how if he touched the walls or the floors with his fingers his fingertips would leave grime behind from his own home. He knew it was silly, Blaine kept his tiny, shabby place clean and cozy and made the most out of his fleeting space. But, standing here in Sebastian’s gorgeous, minimalist space he felt like a speck of rust that ruined an otherwise perfect surface. The only indication that Sebastian even lived here at all was the blue Columbia University blanket crumbled on the sofa, showing Blaine that maybe Seb fell asleep there sometimes, and a few folders stacked up on the small, two seater breakfast bar. Probably some items for summer classes or things for his next semester.

Blaine bit his bottom lip to steady his breathing before setting down her crate so that he could reach out for his boyfriend. He pulled him close, feeling his body instantly melt into his touch. He gave Seb a hello kiss and in return Seb gave Blaine a smile that only he got to see and it told him he was being ridiculous, that he shouldn’t be afraid of an apartment, especially one that Sebastian spent his free time in. He pulled back after his kiss, but did not pull away.

“Your apartment is pretty much exactly like I imagined it. Very… you.” He smiled, trying to keep himself in line. Blaine was finished with classes for the summer and had taken to working extra hours at Bookish and the bar so that he could pick up the slack and so that he wouldn’t get behind on bills and rent and things for Soot, so even thought they’d seen each other the same, it felt a bit like he’d not seen Seb much even if it weren’t the truth.

“Is it completely silly to say I’ve missed you this week?”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian spent his morning cleaning. Sure, he could have called somebody in to do it, but he liked to do it himself. Plus, it kept his hands busy and the surprise swell of nerves in his stomach at bay. The apartment was always spotless but he wanted to impress Blaine. He even ran to the store and grabbed a few groceries, as his kitchen was usually pretty bare except for a few essentials (bread, peanut butter, coffee….) Seb grabbed some oat milk, pancake mix, cinnamon, and bacon. He liked it when B made them breakfast for dinner and recognized the ingredients from his own kitchen. Blaine would probably enjoy working in a pretty much unused kitchenette.

He’d bought a small litter box and litter (which was confusing as fuck, Clumping? Scented? Dust free?) and set up the disgusting thing in his small laundry room. The setup this time was just as bad as when he helped his boyfriend with his, and little flecks of gray got all over the clean tile. Sebastian immediately regretted not buying something to set it on. The messes would be worth it, though, to make Blaine comfortable in the apartment.

Sebastian was laying on the couch when he heard a small knock on the door. He looked through the peephole to see the other man clutching his pet carrier which was such an endearing sight that a small grin spread across his face. He opened the door and the two of them were immediately in an embrace. “Is that a good thing?” Seb looked over his shoulder around the living area. “I know it’s sort of plain but, it’s less to worry about.”

Sebastian stepped aside after another kiss so that B and Soot could come inside. “Not silly at all.. I’ve missed you, too. Like...a lot.” He bit his lip and raised his eyebrows and hoped his boyfriend would catch on to the implication he was trying to make. “And we have two whole days to make up for that.” Sebastian reached out and pulled Blaine in again for a few playful kisses that ended up sort of intense, with hands under shirts and sighs on lips. He would have let Blaine press him into the door right then and there if it weren’t for the small shrieks escaping from Soot who was still in her crate.

“Should probably let her out and get acquainted with the place.”

Blaine’s POV:

“It’s a good thing, Seb and it’s not plain. It’s organized and simple. A little afraid perhaps? Like maybe you’re afraid to show too much of yourself to anyone that might come over. Lucky for me I know you, and maybe one day you’ll have a classy Wonder Woman poster over your sofa instead of a blank space.” He winked, grinning in his teasing and hoping Sebastian didn’t take an offence to his assessment.

A little tremor of desire slid down his body and rested in his core as Sebastian told him he missed him a lot. Blaine could hear the thinly veiled lust edging out Sebastian’s sure voice and he wanted nothing more than to show him right now that he’d missed him just as much. He licked his lips, his breath hitching and body buzzing with anticipation of just what might happen over the next two days.

Slowly, the thought of being in a strange place didn’t feel so strange when Seb was looking at him like that and when he was touching him with care and affection. Even now Sebastian was looking out for him. His boyfriend clearly had things on his mind, very much seemed to want to do more than just kissing, but he made sure to start everything softly, something Blaine still needed. He made sure to pull him close and kiss him gently first and then made his move. Sebastian’s long fingers gripped at Blaine’s hips under his shirt and just above the band of his jeans, and Blaine kissed back with just as much intensity, his fingers slipping up Seb’s shirt to toy with the faint trail of hair that dusted his tummy and lead to parts of his boyfriend body that he very much wanted to touch and tease.

He could feel the tightening of desire in the pit of his stomach with each slide of their tongues. It was a feeling that he was relearning wasn’t a bad thing as he and Sebastian got closer and became more confident. Blaine wanted him more and more as the weeks and months marched on. The want and act of asking or better yet, showing how badly he needed and wanted to be touched was something he thought he’d never feel positive about again. But, with Sebastian he found himself imagining more experimental things. Since they started getting intimate over the last few months they’d explored, of course. They’d touched and tasted each other, and had moved together in Tagore sheets. Blaine had had panics and Seb had even had some moments where he sort of tensed up for a second only to brush it off in the heat of the moment. They always fell into rhythm and seemed to reach each other’s body perfectly, but sometimes Blaine found he wanted to whisper filthy things to Sebastian or he wanted to nip at his flushed skin while his boyfriend moaned underneath him.

Sometimes they’d be having sex and Blaine’s fingers would rest against Seb’s slender neck and his boyfriend would tilt his head back as if giving him permission to do what he wanted to him and Blaine would wonder what it would feel like to squeeze just a little bit. Wondered if he’d feel the frantic flutter of Seb’s heartbeat under his fingertips, or the rumble of his intensified moans. He wanted to pin Seb’s arms above his head and press them firmly into the pillows to keep him from touching either one of them, make him beg for every little roll of his hips and then kiss the breath from him until he couldn’t take it anymore. The thoughts always edged him even closer. Only then he’d remember what Kurt had done, all the bruises on his own neck and the name calling and slut shaming. The ridicule and power trips that turned into Blaine lying there afraid to move. None of that was consensual or fun and the thoughts made him second guess what was right and he’d end up just sliding his fingers into Seb’s hair or pressing them against Seb’s chest to where at least he still got to feel his heartbeat in some way

How could Blaine ask for anything like that after everything he’d been through? Surely Seb would think he was projecting, right? It didn’t feel that way to Blaine though, to him it felt like trust. Like he was able to be himself and maybe these were things he was into before his life went to shit with his parents in that crash, before their deaths crushed him to almost nothing. Before he himself, and then Kurt shattered what was left…Maybe one day he’d work up the courage to just ask what Seb might be into, and maybe he could give it to him. Still, he was getting better, and knowing that was enough for him for now. He was more comfortable with being desperate and breathless for his person.

Blaine didn’t want to let go, he’d worked up the courage to slip his hand down the front of Seb’s pants and just as he was about to wrap his fingers around his boyfriend Seb stopped kissing him. He reluctantly withdrew his hand and could still feel the heavy weight of his boyfriend’s arousal on his fingertips. They had time. Apparently Soot didn’t like seeing her parents get intimate. He sighed, the little annoyed meows beckoning them to part and Blaine had the urge to just open the little door and let the little baby terror find her own way round the flat. He straightened his shirt and adjusted himself, uncomfortable from how hard he was now and having to abruptly stop. He bent down and opened the door. Soot’s petite head instantly poked out and she gave them both the most annoyed look as if to say; hey, I’m the most important, how could you forget me in there? Blaine gave her a smile and coaxed her out more by pitching his voice a bit.

“Come on, sweet little beastie. Come tell Sebastian thank you for letting you crash his super clean home.” He laughed as she seemed to do just that as she pranced over to Sebastian and head butted his ankle as a hello. “Couldn't just fall asleep in there for like an hour, could ya?” He was teasing of course. Soot pretty much always came first. He looked up at Seb, his boyfriends face was still flushed, and his pupils were still wide with want and Blaine wondered if they’d make it to nightfall at all.

“I don’t suppose you’d like to give the two of us a little tour? That way she knows where to eat and go to the bathroom and I get to see the place where I may let you get some sleep tonight.” He knew he was blushing as he said the last part, his lips curled into a bashful smile, his voice suddenly very shy. He had surprised himself with his little innuendo.

“I mean, well, you know what I mean…”

Sebastian’s POV:

Seb sighed and tugged his clothes back into place. He smiled when the small black cat bumped his ankle affectionately and looked up to find Blaine who seemed just as disheveled as he was. “Scoop her up and I’ll show you where I set everything up.” Cats were usually pretty disagreeable when it came to carrying them around but it seemed like Soot didn’t mind anytime B held her. They both probably needed the comfort after such short, hard lives. Seb led them to the small laundry room where the litter box and food were set up. “I forgot to get a water bowl so, hopefully this will work. I,uh, stole it from a restaurant a while ago.” He pointed to the porcelain tea cup gilded with gold paint. “I was drunk at this stuffy place and...well, yeah. It’s a cat dish now.”

They let Soot sniff around her new digs as they walked around the rest of the apartment. She seemed a little afraid but okay, already comfortable on the arm of the couch. He motioned towards the bathroom and his bedroom. Sebastian stood outside of the open door and felt a thrill spark low in his body. “I expect you to keep me up late.”

He reached forward slowly so as to not surprise Blaine and toyed with the collar on his shirt. “I know exactly what you mean. It’s super hot when you talk like that.” Seb bit his bottom lip and let his free hand reach for the door handle behind him. “Why wait for night?” He opened the door and walked backwards with his hand gently pulling Blaine inside. The room was just as simple as the rest of his place- a small black dresser with a matching nightstand and bed decked out in all navy blue. Maybe letting B decorate with little splashes of color might be a good thing but they had other business to attend to at the moment.

“The bed is awfully comfortable…” He sat on the edge, B stood in front of him. Sebastian’s hand slid down his boyfriend’s clothed chest to cup him through his jeans. “I think the sheets need a little messing up, though. Don’t you?”

Blaine’s POV:

“You stole a teacup? Adult drunk you must’ve been a character.” It was destructive, sure, but it was a harmless prank and no one got hurt. Of course there was a good reason Sebastian didn’t drink anymore, things like this had become hurtful in different ways. Seb was sober now and Blaine was proud of him. But he couldn’t help himself and fought a smile as he took in the sight of the little cat box and dishes Sebastian had set out for the little ball energy. Soot sniffed around, stole a few pieces of food and darted off in the direction of the living room, satisfied. She was nervous but he could tell she felt safe here, how could she not, she had both of her favorite people to watch over her. Before Blaine could say much more she had turned herself into a vibrating loaf of black fur on the arm of the couch.

Blaine let himself look around the bedroom, it was pristine and hardly looked lived in. However, the navy blue was a comfort, it reminded him of Dalton days and nights spent driving around the Westerville back roads with Sebastian by his side, hand in hand and belting out terrible pop songs. But it was much bigger than his room now. It was more open and the bed was bigger, it didn’t look like it would squeak if you put pressure on it. He had a small moment of panic, he’d gotten used to the way his bedroom walls encased them, keeping them safe as they moved together, but that was silly and Blaine knew it. He looked up at Seb, his words sending a little thrill through him. He knew that Seb’s arms could keep him safer than the flimsy walls of his apartment and that what he was missing was the familiarity of it all. He licked his lips, the lust and desire returned times ten to the pit of his stomach.

“I think I can do that…”

He trailed off as Sebastian reached out for him gently, his skin prickling pleasantly where his fingertips very lightly touched his neck as he toyed with his shirt. He moved forwards with Seb as his boyfriend sat down on the edge of the bed and touched him through his jeans. Sebs’s lips were quirked in a sly smile and yet he was still aware of what Blaine needed to be comfortable, still showed his hands and even though he was guiding him, he still let Blaine call the shots. Blaine bit his bottom lip, his breath hitching as Seb’s fingers caressed him through the thick cloth of his jeans. He closed his eyes for a moment, collecting himself, steadying himself. He felt overwhelmed again, as was always the case with Sebastian, that he wanted too much all at once. He wanted to touch him, taste him, fuck him, wanted to make him squirm underneath him, wanted Seb to kiss bruises into his sensitive, forbidden neck, wanted to watch as Seb swallowed around him- eyes always bright, heavy and wanting as he did so. The thoughts made his cheeks heat up as he reached out and cupped his boyfriend's face in his hands, and pressed his hips into his fingers.

“My plan is to keep the bed messy all weekend long…”

The words were murmured against Seb’s lips before he licked into his mouth. He pressed on Sebastian’s shoulders down and over so that he was lying back against the bed, his head haloed by blue pillows. Without thinking too much about the late afternoon light still surrounding them and leaving nothing hidden, he pulled his shirt over his head and let it drop to the ground before moving to undo his own jeans, watching Seb’s face as he stripped down. He was still self conscious in his skin, years worth of abuse leaving him that way, but he loved the way his boyfriends eyes devoured each bit of skin he exposed, like he wanted to taste it all. He was getting better. He made sure Seb saw all of him before moving to tug Seb’s sweats down and he wasn’t disappointed that that’s all he had on, his boyfriends cock sprang free and hard and it was so satisfying to Blaine that he was already so hard just from kissing and looking.

He watched Seb for a moment, his boyfriend stretched out over the bed, his legs already spread fo him and waiting and god he was fucking perfect and Blaine felt that creeping want to pin him down and just have his way with him wash over him. He blushed, a little ashamed of himself at the thought, but not enough to get rid of the thought entirely. He motioned towards the nightstand, a usual palace to keep condoms and lube and wasn’t surprised that they were there, but a little surprised that Seb had gone out and gotten Blaine’s specific type. It made him feel good, even though it was basically a given. He took one out of the box and took the lube before moving to the bed and crawling up so that he was between Seb’s spread legs, his head rested against his thigh as he slowly stroked him up and down before taking him into his mouth. He tasted like soap and a tangy flavor that was just so Sebastian that Blaine moaned around him, wanting nothing more than to taste the rest of him. He slicked his fingers up, his tongue swirling around the head of Seb’s cock, his eyes locking with his boyfriends, silently asking if he was doing okay. He wasn’t even sure he was good at this anymore, and had been made to feel like he was terrible at all of it. But, being with Seb had shown him that wasn’t true. He felt bold today, maybe not as bold as he wanted to be, but bold enough to take control for a moment.

He let his slick fingers move from Seb’s cock and down fondling and tugging in all the right places before gently pressing two of them inside of his boyfriends body, slowly pumping them in and out as he sunk his mouth all the way down on his, relishing in the feeling of him in the back of his throat and heavy on his tongue. Seb’s legs fell open even more in response.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian loved the confidence that Blaine had as he pressed him into the bed and undressed in the glimmer of the Manhattan golden hour. He caught a glimpse of the old B, before Kurt had taken him and torn him in half like a piece of junk mail, when he crawled between his legs. Their eye contact didn’t break once and his lips were quirked into a little smirk. If he wasn’t so fucking turned on and hard, he’d mention that he was proud but, that could be a topic for later.

He let his body be open and ready. Seb wanted Blaine to know that he had him and had his trust and could do whatever he wanted. They could go as slow or as fast as he wanted, Sebastian wanted to experience it all with him. They had so much to catch up on, after all.

Seb sighed as he felt Blaine’s head rest against the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. Goosebumps spread over his arms and it felt like the burn of desire raced from his cock all the way to his toes and up to his fingertips. Seb’s hands came up to grip the pillows by his head, his back was arched and his knees bent. Everything B was doing felt wet and hot and perfect. As Blaine kept it up he knew he was going to come, but that didn’t mean he wanted it to stop.

Sebastian’s hips rose and his body shook as he came, Blaine’s name on his lips. He felt the other man hum around him and Sebastian could fucking swear that his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

As Blaine nuzzled and kissed his belly, Sebastian tried to catch his breath.

“B…” Sebastian reached for his boyfriend’s flushed face so that he could look at him. “If you wanna keep going....I want you to do whatever you want to me.” His voice sounded gruff and shaky but he wanted the message to be clear and consensual.

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine could feel Sebastian contract around his fingers and couldn't help but moan as Sebastian came sudden and hard into his mouth. He did his best to swallow every last drop he could get, enjoying the salty sweetness. He was slowly letting himself learn that he didn’t need to feel bad about how much he liked the taste. It was intoxicating, like a drug or drink he couldn’t seem to get enough of. Maybe he’d be embarrassed about it later, but right now, in this moment he let himself really feel the moment. He was so fucking turned on as his boyfriend reached for his face and his raspy, post orgasm voice telling him he could keep going almost sent him over the edge right there.

Seb’s eyes were heavy, and his legs were shaking still as he came down and there was something about the thought of knowing he still got to fuck into him even though Seb was already satisfied. The thought of getting to touch and use Seb’s overly sensitive body made him bite his bottom lip to keep from moaning again. He kissed Seb’s tummy again, nuzzling his nose into the soft trail of hair there before gently climbing up his body and settling between his legs. He held the other man's face between his hands and pressed sweet yet dirty open mouthed kisses against his lips trying to show him how much he loved him and how bad he wanted him at the same time.

“You sure? We can stop whenever you want...” He mumbled the words between kisses, pulling back just enough to really see Seb’s face. He nodded, his eyes going wide and serious for a moment only to go heavy and full of lust the next. Blaine reached between them and found the condom he’d gotten out and fumbled only for a second getting it open before sliding it on with slightly shaking hands, he made sure he was slick before pressing his fingers into Sebastian’s body one more time. Of course Seb was still ready and he knew that, but Blaine couldn’t help himself, he wanted to feel the wet heat one more time before lining his cock up and slowly pressing himself deeper and deeper. Seb moaned and so did he and that was all he needed to get himself moving. He fucked into his boyfriend slow and hard, each roll of his hips feeling better than the last. He wasn’t sure if it was the way Seb moaned for him or the way his fingers pressed into his hips, but Blaine was losing himself in the moment. A primal want took over his body in a way it had not in a long time. Maybe he could have a little bit of what he’d been thinking about. Just a little bit. He trusted Seb, knew he’d tell him if it was too much, and Seb trusted him. Blaine knew that. He knew that he could have whatever he wanted if only he were brave enough to ask for it. Why had he not asked before? The answer lay with the shame and ridicule Kurt had put him through, but he pushed that to the back of his mind.

He nipped at the pulse point in Seb’s neck lightly, delighting in the little gasps that got him. He took a chance and slid his hands to where Seb was gripping his hips and took hold of both of Seb’s wrists before pinning them down on either side of his head. He pushed them into the pillow, using them for leverage as he fucked into him, never taking his eyes off of his boyfriend's face, wanting to make sure it was okay, but also wanting Seb to open himself up even more.

“Spread your legs a little more for me…” His voice was low, almost not even there.

He squeezed just a little tighter, rocking his hips down and into him just a little harder.

“You like it like this, don't you? You like the way it feels...” They were statements and questions all wrapped into one, he felt nervous yet confident that he was doing something Seb and him both enjoyed. He was almost shocked that he’d said anything at all, that he was able to pin his boyfriend down, something that an hour ago was only a thought in his head… He moved his lips close to Seb’s ear, snaking his tongue along the shell before breathing his question lowly into it. His fingers still closed around his wrists pinning him down tightly.

“Can you come for me again?”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian’s body felt shaky and amplified, it was the feeling of lighting firecrackers and trying to run fast enough to get away, adrenaline and excitement racing hard through veins. He nodded up at Blaine whose intense eyes never left his. Seb loved the way it felt, the twirl of pleasure and pain felt dangerous and delicious. He considered himself well read but he’d never be able to put into words how good he felt and how it was all made better by the confidence that was peeking through in B’s hands and hips.

He did as he was told, his thighs ached a little but he didn’t mind it. His boyfriend had a firm grip on both of his wrists, the contact made him moan. He was so impressed by the primal little things the other man was doing to him. Blaine’s skin was hot and a little bit slick with sweat. Sebastian’s body already felt like it could go again. His cock was hard again and fuck, this was Blaine fucking Anderson, looking at him while rolling his hips into him. Could he come again?

“Fuck yeah.”

His voice was barely there but the message was heard. Sebastian knew that the other man had him. Maybe he had always known that, even when they hadn’t spoken for years, even when the phone rang at 2 AM and drunken feelings took over, even when they had avoided each other out of pain or nerves. Blaine would always be patiently waiting, Sebastian would always be ready to jump to catch the other.

“Love you.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine was so in the moment that he barely registered the ache in his legs and hips as he pressed into his boyfriend. He hardly noticed the time as it passed. All that mattered was Sebastian around him and the open mouthed look of pure want on his face. Sebastian was looking up at him like he was everything and it made Blaine feel more alive than he’d ever felt before. It was one of those many times where he wanted to bottle the whole last hour up and save it for when he felt insecure or meek. He didn’t know he had this in him and Sebastian had brought it out of him with patience and encouragement.

His body acted on it’s own accord when Sebastian reassured him in such a small voice that he could come again. The thought of Seb falling apart underneath him all over again sent little shivers down his spine in anticipation of getting to watch it happen before letting himself feel that release. Blaine leaned down and nipped at Seb’s neck before soothing the spot with his tongue and lips, losing himself in the moment, his hips rolling slow and deep. Sebastian was just so open for him… He was so lost in the movements and wanting to make Seb feel good that he almost missed the whispered words.

“Fuck… Seb…-”

He lifted his head and looked down at his boyfriend- Seb’s eyes focused on him and it was so raw and so sweet that Blaine’s hips stuttered and he lost the control he’d had. His orgasm hit hard and fast and maybe he should have been embarrassed that an I love you could send him over the edge, but this I love you came from Sebastian and it meant everything and Blaine could have cried with how much it all meant to him. He tried to steady himself, his face pressed into Seb’s neck as he rode the waves out. He pulled back to look down at his boyfriend, one hand sliding from Seb’s wrists to gently cup his face, the other slipping between them so he could touch Sebastian, wrap around him and help him reach the top so he could catch him as he fell back down .

“God, I love you back so fucking much.”

His words were soft and stilted, hard to get out but still clear as day. His breathing was still heavy from his movements. He did his best to stay pressed inside, wanting Sebastian to feel him inside of him as he stroked him through. He leaned forward and licked into his mouth, the kisses still a bit dirty but with a sweetness to them that only came from loving and trusting someone. His words were quiet and trapped between their teeth, tongues, and lips as he spoke, meant to reassure him for more than just tonight.

“I’ve got you…”

Sebastian’s POV:

The connection between them felt raw and powerful. They didn’t even need to speak to understand each other. Blaine could read the thrum of Sebastian's heartbeat, the arch of his back. It had always been like that, it had always been meant to be like this. He kept his eyes on B, he wanted to watch him tumble apart, wanted to hear him moan his name- his favorite sight and sound. Seb could feel his boyfriend’s hips stutter, his grip tighten around his wrists.

“C’mon, B…” Seb whispered and coaxed B through his orgasm.

Blaine’s warm hand on his face, the feeling of him still inside, it all made him humm with pleasure. He could live off of the whispers the other man left on his lips, the feeling of a smile against teeth, a gasp against the side of the other’s mouth.

Sebastian knew that Blaine had him. If there was something he never had to doubt, it was that. That was why everything hit so hard when they fell apart before, if B wasn’t there, who really had his back? Who else did he have to laugh into the phone at midnight with? Who was there to reach through his stormy mind with nothing but a smile? He nodded, he knew Blaine understood.

Blaine’s firm grip and kisses helped him fall over the edge once more and Seb was wrapped up in the other man’s strong arms immediately. They lay wrapped around each other, heavily breathing and kissing each other’s cheeks, lips, noses, foreheads.

They lay like that for a while before either one of them spoke. Sebastian nipped at Blaine’s bottom lip and nuzzled his jawbone, his five o clock shadow already peeking through.

“I take it that you like it here.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine tucked his face into Sebastian’s neck, lying next to him and wrapped around him now. His breathing finally seemed to be steadying and he finally felt like he was on the ground again. His body was sore in all the right places and even though it was still early evening he could have snuggled into Sebastian and whispered sweetness until they both fell asleep for the night. Surly Soot would find her way to them and she too would curl up at their feet as they slept. It was as perfect as a thought could be and Blaine almost asked for it. But, he was a bit hungry and a little nudge on his jaw from Seb took him away from it. He turned to look at his boyfriend, his nips and kisses causing him to break out in a grin and he laughed as he answered, his body snuggled close so that their chest were touching. He reached out and traced his fingertips down Seb’s arm, tracing the little stardust of freckles.

“I do like it here. But, I mean, with you here with me it’s just perfect. I feel like I’m safe wherever you are…” His voice was soft as he thought, his brain catching up to reality as he really took in the question. “It’s out there- alone... that’s hard.” He bit his lip and then shook his head, letting out a little breathy laugh so it wouldn’t get too deep even though his heart was pounding now for a different reason. “I suppose I’m just going to have to take you with me wherever I go.” He shrugged and let his traveling fingertips rest at Seb’s wrist. Usually they were pale and delicate, but now they were slightly pink and just a touch heated and the memory of squeezing and pressing them down jolted Blaine into a bad memory. Triggering him into a moment of panic.

“Oh god, did I hurt you?”

Suddenly he was terrified that he’d done something wrong. That by acting on primal urges he was just as bad as Kurt, even if Blaine knew in the passionate moment that Sebastian was into it and that if Seb had said to stop that Blaine would have let go and backed away- a shock still went through him that he’d managed to leave a little bit of a mark and his heart pounded even harder as he sat up cross legged next to Seb and reached for his wrist and pressed kisses to them before reaching for other parts of Seb’s body that his fingertips had pressed into just to check him over. He blinked, his eyes a little stingy. Why had he wanted to do this? Why did he want to hold him down and take control? Was there something wrong with him? In the moment it had seemed fun and sexy and something he’d been into before his life went to shit, but how could he like it after all that happened? And again for the second time that night he wondered how he could ask for something like this or even want it…

A little voice in his head told him to calm down, and told him it was okay. It sounded a lot like a mix of his and Sebastian’s; You had fun, Blaine. This is different from the nightmare Kurt put you through. You trust Seb and he trusts you. Don’t compare it. Just breathe… Trust him, trust yourself.

“I-I didn’t think… I don’t even know why I did that. I’m so sorry, baby…”

The name slipped out organically in a mumble against Sebastian’s chest, never used on anyone else before, as the beat of his boyfriend's heart thudded against his lips reassuring him he was still here and okay. He pulled back to look at him, his thumbs gently rubbing over the already faded marks on Seb’s wrists.

“I mean, yeah, it was super fun and hot, but I shouldn’t have done it.” Right?

Sebastian’s POV:

Blaine’s fingertips ghosted over Sebastian’s wrists. He could see the switch in his boyfriend’s eyes, the panic tugging his bottom lip down into a frown. Seb wasn’t hurt, he felt satisfied and tired and in need of a cigarette or two. “I’m good.” He looked at his wrists and saw that they were a little red but that was okay with him. It would just be a reminder of their time together. “I like it when you leave marks.”

Seb liked the weight of Blaine’s head on his chest but hated that he felt upset with himself. “You have nothing to worry about. I wanted you to do it, I promise.” A small twinge of pleasure slid up his spine when the other man called him baby, he liked how that sounded. If B wasn’t so worried, he’d drown the other man in kisses.

“Hey, look at me.” Sebastian sat up and made sure the two of them made direct eye contact. “You know that I trust you, right? I would stop you if something were wrong. “ He reached out to hold Blaine’s hand, “I know that you’ve been through hell. But, you’re not Kurt, okay? He’s a fucking prick. You’re a good person, you listen to me and my body.” Speaking so openly like this made himself feel a little better about the bullshit he went through in the past himself. “I’ve had my share of...uncomfortable experiences. I know I don’t talk about it much but, we aren’t the people that have hurt us. Even though we fell apart for a bit, please believe me when I say that you have always treated me with respect and have never made me feel ashamed of being sexual.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s body gave an involuntary shudder when Sebastian mentioned that he liked the faint marks he’d left on his body. Once upon a time it wouldn’t have been such a big deal, sure, Blaine might have still panicked a tiny bit and fret over Seb, but that was in his nature. But, now, after everything he felt like he’d done something wrong. He knew that he hadn't, he really did, but this part of him, the part that Kurt had shamed and shoved down, had turned some of his pleasures and little kinks and perversions and pain so of course Blaine would feel off about it. Seb was looking at him wide eyed and honest and Blaine knew he meant what he said.

He let Sebastian take hold of his hand and made himself look up so that he could really listen to his boyfriend. It hurt his chest and his pounding heart to be reminded that Sebastian had been abused by past lovers before, one’s that took his sexual nature and took it just a bit too far, and Blaine wanted to scoop him up and promise him that he’d always been taken care of. Wanted to whisper words of comfort and a little part of him wanted to go find each person that had gotten too rough or too persistent and smack the shit out of them. It wouldn’t help, of course, he knew that. All he could do was pull Seb closer to him and nod as he spoke and accept his boyfriend's words as fact.

Maybe Blaine would have another moment of panic, and maybe Blaine would need to slow down sometimes. But there was no denying how they worked together or how they just knew each other’s body. What he’d done was okay. He wasn’t bad for wanting to press his boyfriend down, he wasn’t horrible for wanting to talk dirty or for leaving gentle marks with his fingertips or his lips- they had been made out of love and trust. Sitting here looking at Sebastian he wanted to smack himself for almost ruining the moment with his anxiety again. Of course this was all okay. Look how much fun they’d had… Their movements together and the way Seb’s body just responded to Blaine was the most natural thing, and Blaine had known how to do it without second thought and Seb had risen to him and fell apart in his arms and it had been perfect and Blaine didn’t need to worry. He’d taken control and neither one of them was hurt. Maybe he’d need to be reminded again later, but right now Seb’s face and gentle words told him all he needed to know.

“I trust you too, Seb. With everything.” He bit his lip, feeling a bit sheepish all over again. “I promise to never shame you or make you feel like something you want is wrong. And I promise to always listen to what you tell me and what your body tells me. I just got anxious, the marks Kurt left were always angry and harsh and just seeing the red here sort of made me wonder if I was any better. I know that’s not true and I know you’d tell me if I did hurt you, I guess I just had a moment.” He sort of shrugged and laughed.

“We got so close again so fast, sometimes I feel like I should still be that shell of a boy you met again on New Year’s. The one that could hardly look at you and could barely stand to be touched. I still don't like it much, but when it comes to you … Well, I’m yours. We’ve just done so much for each other, it’s still a bit baffling to see the progress. I love it, and I wouldn't change it, but I guess I need to take a step back and see it for what it is and how much you’ve helped me. We’ve helped each other.”

He cleared his throat and let his thumb run over the now faded marks on Seb’s wrist.

“You know… one day you’ll have to tell me if there’s anything you want to try. Any hidden kinks that maybe I can work my way up to.” He teased and leaned in and stole a kiss. “But for now maybe we should go check on Soot and perhaps I can make you some dinner. Assuming you have something for me to cook.” He grinned, feeling better and closer still to his person.

Sebastian’s POV:

Only the two of them could have had passionate sex followed by important conversation. It felt special and real and Blaine was right, it was so easy to fall back into each other that at times it was almost jarring at how little time had actually passed. “We have helped each other. I mean, look at how mushy you have me acting.” He smiled, “We got each other.”

Sebastian watched as Blaine touched his wrists. Of course he knew that they would both have low moments and bouts of anxiety, times where they didn’t really want to be touched. But, he also knew that they were in love and that they were working so hard to better themselves. Neither of them would be fixed overnight. There would always be small little cracks. They just needed to fill their breaks and cracks with gold to come out stronger, like one of those beautiful Japanese vases.

“Oh, I’ll tell you anything you want to hear.” Seb’s face broke out into a grin that hurt the corners of his mouth. He loved when Blaine stole kisses from his smiles, made him laugh against his lips, pulled him in for a few more. “You know damn well she’s still asleep. But, I do need a cigarette. You wore me out.” Sebastian poked Blaine gently in the side. “You’re going to be quite impressed, Anderson. I bought some groceries.”

Blaine put on one of Sebastian’s grey Columbia hoodies. He loved the way he looked in it and told him that he could keep it. They padded out into the kitchen where Seb laid out the items he had bought and B set to work on their evening breakfast. Soot, who was fast asleep still, woke to the sizzle of bacon in the pan and rubbed all over both of them. Sebastian silently promised her the fat off of a piece of bacon as he scratched behind her pointy ears. He could get used to this, he thought. The scent of bacon grease, the little sounds of Soot’s paws on the hardwood, Blaine humming in the kitchen. For the first time since he had moved to the city, his apartment didn’t feel empty or lonely. It felt like a home.

/fin.

#seblaine #seb #twoblueheartslocked #colorsicantsee #Para: Now I Wake Up By Your Side #seblaine smut #seblaine canon divergence #para

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illicreatxm · 5 years ago

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Can you believe it’s been seven years? Seven years?! Since I entered the rpc??? (I mean I made my first rp blog in 2012 but didn’t rp fully until 2013 lmao.) And I’ve never ever made a follow forever or official thank you thing ever??? I guess I answer memes but I’ve never officially gone out and made a thing to properly thank people lol.

So here’s a thing! Since I came back to the rpc this year, I’ve honestly felt more appreciated than ever, and even though I’ve recently done a meme for this kind of thing I want to do an official kind of thing to thank you guys for following me all the way to the end of this year! Also, I’ve made it to the end of 2019 and uni hasn’t killed me yet so we might as well celebrate that whilst we’re at it.

I’m going to start off by thanking all of my wonderful followers for actually following me upon my return to the rp world! It really feels like I was gone forever and part of me was worried that I’d come back to nothing or very few of my old partners, but you’ve all honestly welcomed me back with open arms and I’ve even met some new people! You’re all so kind and friendly and have such wonderful characters/canon depictions that if I had the mental energy or time (or, you know, the ability to be social without being awkward around new people), I would be threading with more of you! But I am an exhausted fool so obviously that isn’t happening yet. But I just want to let you know that I love you all and am so thankful for you guys making it to the end of 2019 with me!

And now for the special mentions! (Got kinda long so under the read more!)

To my rp partners (the nerds who put up with my craziness and scattered brain/weirdo ocs):

@mirror-image-rp – You know what I’m gonna start with you because I love you a lot and you are my longest remaining rp partner. Honestly, honestly, this sweet bean is so kind and funny and I just want to thank you for sticking by me and being my close friend all these years. Even when I’ve been awkward, or overexcitable, or just irritating/clingy (because I know very well that I can be). As I’ve mentioned before, I wouldn’t have all these children I do have now if it weren’t for you – both Jodie and Jake came to life through you, and everyone else through them, and it’s all of these muses together that have kept me in the rp world. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being so creative and sticking by me and creating worlds with me and just plain talking with me; I am so proud of you for everything, and honestly, I look forward to all of these children reattaching themselves to yours (lol Rachel’s already started) in the New Year. Love you lots!!!

@a-simple-rper – Nyra!!! My bean!!! My broski!!! There is so much to thank you for!! We’ve been real close friends for almost six years, which is so crazy to think about, and every single one of those years has been full of crazy fun times! Thank you so much for having such a huge impact on my children!! The little family we started forming way back when with Jake and Sam and Rick has grown so much over the years, and now I honestly can’t imagine my muses without yours – to the point where our verse is really my main verse and Kat and Laura now have distinct types that they fall for and won’t go for anything else! Thank you so much for every single conversation you’ve had with me, and I 100% look forward to letting our little family grow bigger and bigger as we add more and more muses to it!!

@astrologicallyperfect – Dearest pure bean Hanna, you deserve so much love, omg. I still remember you from way back and, honestly, thank you for still coming back to these idiots I call muses? Thank you for sticking with me and creating a million AUs and creating a whole world with all these muses we have that I love so much – all these ships and friendships we have just make me fall more and more in love with this world with powers that we’ve created and I honestly thank you for putting up with my crazy and my dumbassery for all this time, sweetpea. I honestly get so excited creating universes and AUs and headcanons with you and I just can’t wait to create even more!!!

@thegallantspirit – If I were to say that Lux was one of my relatively newer friends, even I wouldn’t believe it. I honestly feel like I’ve known you for so long, and I just want to thank you so much for becoming my friend and basically being an all around kind and sweet person! Thank you so much for actually rping with me, even when I’m spotty and a little bit manic at times, and for loving on my less-loved children! Thank you also for pulling me into your rp group and introducing me to so many wonderful people! You are honestly so kind and sweet to me!

@damagedbyfate – Patty!!! I honestly don’t think I thank you or appreciate you enough for all you’ve done for me. One of my newer friends, I was definitely real shy when I approached you for the first time because you had all these muses, but really you and your many muses are wonderful! You’re so kind and friendly and open and thank you so much for still being kind and friendly to me even when my brain isn’t wanting to cooperate with me as much! Honestly some of my muses really look forward to forming closer relationships with yours, and I look forward to threading and rping with you more in the new year!!

@lokitheliesmith – Okay but, Z, you’ve been one of my longest rp partners and I am very much glad that we started threading way back when Allie had her own blog. You are honestly such a kind person and even if I seem awkward, I very much enjoy chatting with you ooc. Heck, even Allie looks back fondly on our first thread together. Thank you so much for (still) rping with me and chatting with me and even offering to keep me accountable for my sleep schedule! You really help me out a lot and have generally been a sweetheart and I just thank you so much for that. Have a wonderful New Year, and my muses and I really look forward to continuing to thread with you!!

@hermosa-pesadilla/ @tattedasshole – Jess, you are, honestly, so kind whenever I do end up chatting with you that it makes me wish that I kicked my ass into gear and chatted with you more. Thank you so much for being kind to me and for threading with my sweet boy, Obed! Not many people actually thread with my sweetheart and I’m glad that he’s found a friend in Abby! I honestly wish all the best for you in the New Year, and thank you for being so wonderful! Obed and I definitely look forward to threading with you more!!!

@natvralforce – Imma be honest with you Rey whenever I think of you I feel like a uni grandma and just want you protected and buried in blankets and love. You are an absolute sweetheart and I love your sweet child and!!! Thank you for shipping with George!!! He usually exhausts everyone but he really loves Ali a lot and I feel like I’m holding him back a lot of the time lol. Thank you so much for following me and threading with me and accepting my hyperactive danger boy who is literally a walking hazard. I really look forward to threading with you more in the New Year!!

@thexcourageous – Honestly, Rosie, I can’t believe I’ve been threading with you and Bailey and Alex for so long! You’re a sweetheart and a joy to chat and thread with, and thank you so much for still putting up with my dumbass muses. I honestly love the fact that we still thread in the PJO world because I rarely venture into that fandom anymore but I love that I can throw my muses into their demigod verse with you and continue to explore that side of them! Thank you for rping with me and sticking with me for so long! Good luck to you in everything, and I look forward to rping with you more in the New Year!

@sxilingthegalaxy – Aaaaaah Briana! I know we thread only a little bit, but thank you so much for even that! I very much like your muse, Elayne, and throwing Alex into a situation where he feels so awkward gives me so much life you don’t understand. (He’s so egotistical half the time!) I honestly very much look forward to threading more with you in the coming year!

To those I don’t thread with on here (at the moment):

Also, thank you so much to these people! We may not thread on tumblr/may not thread at the moment/may not have started threading properly yet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still appreciate you! (You guys are still here following this blog so I must be doing something right...) Thank you so much for chatting with me and being so friendly and sweet, whether we’re just plotting or having a general conversation, and if we haven’t started threading properly yet or even come up with a plot for our muses, I look forward to eventually threading with you in the New Year!

@detholmes @musesofthenight @sunshinexwritings @standfortheangels @angry-nobleman

And to all you beautiful people! (A.k.a. my followers!):

And you know what, I can’t end this post without giving another general thank you to all (39) of my followers! I know there aren’t many of you, but I’m grateful to you all, and just want you all to know that I am very much open to chatting with you, getting to know you and loving on you all! You’re all so wonderful for allowing my little dumbass self exist on your dashboards.

I hope you all have an absolutely wonderful New Year, and I look forward to continuing to chat with you guys and thread with you guys in the new decade! Love you all!

~AJ out *dabs*

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bookshelfpassageway · 4 years ago

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Hello yes I would like the full rundown on It's A Wonderful Life a la Eugene Riverworth (I once helped my DM spec out alignment-reversed versions of our entire party, alt universe characters are near and dear to my heart)

ALRIGHT SO IT'S CATASTROPHIC AMOUNTS OF CONTEXT TIME

Sorry I took so long, I've just spent most of my week trying not to turn into a puddle of goo. I accidentally listened to Mr Blue Sky today, however, and the last verse sucker-punched me into finishing this.

...At some point, I'm going to take my google doc of garbage notes with no filter and turn them into a coherent campaign recap to hand out to people. But for now, here's this definitely-more-than-a-snippet-snippet.

Alright so, to start with, we have an NPC friend named Rothwin. He's a goth wood-elf wizard with a deep, deep set guilt complex about how many people he's known that have died. His mother, due to a dragon attack, and he recently discovered, his little sister, due to the mafia said dragon runs. His twin brother was recently thralled by Mind Flayers, and we've been trying to track him down. He also had a particular bond (I don't have all the details, but he gave him an enchanted knife and a letter) with our halfling assassin, Tasher, who was disintegrated back at lv 8 by a possessed Eugene. He let the possession happen on purpose, to try to get the upper hand in a fight with our warlock's patron, but the thing he gave himself over to was not at all inclined to give Eugene's body back. This chain of events also led to the kidnapping of Rothwin's brother. There's a reason we call him the "trashwizard".

Anyway, Rothwin. Rothwin is the hero child that wants to fix everything. Guilt complex from here to the moon. He's also a slightly higher level wizard than us, a lv 14 party, and he's recently spent a LOT of time scribing studiously in his spellbook. Because Eugene is a nosy little man, he actually got a glimpse at the spell he was working on: Wish.

So, the night after Rothwin's brother is captured, we hang around and try to comfort him. He seems oddly alright, and tells us that he thinks things will be looking up, soon.

When we awake, the world is different, none of us know any of the others, we remember nothing of the world before, and Rothwin has erased the dragon that tore his family apart, over 200 years ago. In the process, the circumstances did not arise where Tasher died.

The original Eugene left home at 17 to seek his fortune, and, finding that to be a very hard task, gradually lowered his standards over the course of a decade until he became the glitzy mountebank in the pointy hat we all know and love.

This new Eugene never had that chance to be a con man. If he did swindle, it would have only been a brief stint of the minor, hunger-induced infractions of the very beginning of his career. He had a pretty similar childhood and departure. Instead, he was recruited by this universe's much more prosperous version of the Mage's Guild (run by Rothwin's mother), an agent of whom saw some element of talent in him. So for the past ten years, he's made his name as an Illusionist of mild note, a full wizard rather than a rogue multiclass, and slowly moving up the Guild's ranks. He'd just been promoted, even. He's Neutral-Good-aligned, as opposed to the original True Neutral, and though his base traits remain the same (including: sociable, vain, ambitious, indulgent, a bit foolish), they're dialed up to different degrees. This Eugene is a genuinely sweet person, in a slightly fussy and oblivious kind of way, and actually allows himself to get attached to people. Which happens easily, and strongly. He hasn't had any need to shut that part of himself down. He has a Simulacrum named Snowy, and understands what birds are (running joke in the campaign, his familiar is exactly one pint of screech owl and summoning medium-sized birds has never been successful).

Eugene's youngest sister, in the original timeline, was a warlock of the Raven Queen. She quickly began having visions of the way fate was originally supposed to play out, and together they were able to research what might have happened and start to contact the old partymembers. Everyone arrived, and started getting flashbacks of the events of the campaign. We fought some old enemies who were defeated in the original world, including the devil that set off so much catastrophe, and a mad wizard who here had managed to imprison the guy who can fix this.

We managed to short out this wizard's magical abilities with a Counterspell, triggering the source of his stolen power to take over his body to see what the hell was going on. The Whispered One, known more commonly (though not in this campaign. His name is a pricey secret after all) as Vecna. We met him once in the original timeline too, he's how Rothwin found out his sister was dead, and was responsible for the warlockifying of an artificer. (it was almost the original Eugene, but the depressed cat got in there first, also, selfishly, a warlock multiclass would have screwed over his spell slot situation too much)

Between people starting to get flashbacks (flashsidewayses?), logical deductions, and a free trial of information from the Whispered One, we realize IC what's happened and what we'd be going back to, and how to set things back to exactly square one.

Everyone gets... Maybe a little too into the RP at this point. There's a lot of philosophy and metaphysics. There's also a lot of upset when we realize who doesn't survive the original course of fate. We try to figure out if it's possible to put it back the same but just a little different, and realize that someone is here with the power to do so, but the Whispered One is not going to budge unless we give him a secret as payment. Changing fate to save a life (possibly more), would likely require a more costly secret than average. Also, we as players aren't just going to shortchange VECNA. We like being alive (Sure we will piss off the Raven Queen, but that's fine, we'll burn that bridge when we get to it). Also dramatic gestures are more narratively satisfying. Eugene's mental state is a fascinating concoction of self-loathing, existential dread, cunning bastard, hero wannabe, "hey I've known this party longer than anyone except my family and former business partner" + "I will admit I care about people". Some solutions are proposed, the Dragonborn Paladin has a book from her backstory, the Assassin has god secrets...

And Eugene, filled with guilt and distaste for tragedy and fondness for Tasher and a complicated infatuation towards Rothwin and all the trappings of a moral person, realizing for absolute certainty that all that he's become, worked for, and hoped for in this life, MUST be overwritten by someone he can't stand, and knows won't be able to stand him... Suggests that what is more secret than a life that could have been, and never could have been, lived? His own existence could not only amount to something, but actually be preserved in some capacity in the Whispered One's library.

This is immediately, though with some surprise, accepted by the Whispered One. "In all my years and years, I've never had a whole person a secret before..." A portal into a dark room with pinpoints of green light inside opens, and all he has to do is step through, and Rothwin will be given the power to re-cast Wish to bend the world back to the way it was-... While having fixed that which can be fixed. There's a bit of devolving back into Philosophy here, people trying to stop him or suggest simpler secrets, but knowing this might lead anywhere except causing more stress and the risk of him chickening out, Eugene steps through the portal.

Cassie, who had been watching him intently since the deal was proposed, gives the world's smallest "...wait" at the exact moment it's too late. Rothwin is given a green glowing rune, and casts Wish again.

The party wakes up right where they left off before all this happened, with no memory of what transpired. Eugene seems no worse for wear, and has gone back to accidentally persecuting the local introverts. Tasher washes up on the beach where we scattered his ashes, remembering only the other world and feeling a compulsion to seek out the place where we might be going next, and the devil we fought... Is present on the material plane again, somewhere.

So yeah. The man can’t go one timeline without yeeting himself headfirst into shady eldritch nonsense in a bid to find a Third Option. But this time having fixed the problems he created by all the previous times he’s done it. RIP good!Eugene, you were too pure to exist without the universe breaking. This is absolutely going to come back to bite me in the ass and I have no idea how my DM will have it do so.

#hey why did the readmore screw up? the readmore should be lower #damn it tumblr #it refuses to let me change this #anyway long post ahead #my posts #anonymous #answered #Eugene Riverworth #should tag the campaign at some point

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ebonydusk · 5 years ago

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Things that were, things that are, and things that may be...

I’ll warn you right now this post might get rather long, so I’ll be sure to put most of it under the line. And also warn that this post contains very personal talk about severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, abortion and suicide.

I’ve made various posts over time on this hellsite. I call it that cause...it really can be at times. But it’s also a place I can vent and put my thoughts out into the world, even if I know no one will notice or will really pay attention to it. This one though, this one is probably the most personal.

I’ll start off by explaining I’ve suffered from depression the majority of my life. I can’t possibly tell you how or when it truly started, but I can recognize now that it was there since I was young. It went hand in hand with my growing anxiety that was born of being isolated and over protected and sheltered in a small town with small minds. It’s possible it all came from the fact I was molested as a child. Up till I was at least ten. Which is the last time I let him come near me. My grandfather was a ‘war hero’. A ‘pillar of the small community’. A ‘good man and a good father’. A ‘wonderful husband’. But he also didn’t keep his hands to himself. And I never told anyone. Not my mom. Not my dad. Not my sweet grandmother. No one. They still don’t know. But my therapists and my husband and closests friends now do. I’m not as ashamed of it anymore. I realized only recently I shouldn’t be, it wasn’t my fault. And I’m not the one who should have ever felt such shame and guilt.

But keeping that secret since I was so little and never dealing with it left it’s mark on my small mind. A mark that festered and grew into fear and anxiety and self hatred.

Then I realized I was into girls. I felt...out of place. I wasn’t really shamed of that per se. But it WAS a small town. I got picked on by those that knew. Those that guessed. And those that just didn’t like how quiet I was. I was the “girl to talk to if if you wanted to ‘experiment’” to most of the girls in school. I mostly went along with it cause...how exactly did you say no to some of the most popular girls in school and not end up the target of some serious Mean Girl shit? Right? So I started my experimenting early. My girlfriend at the time got jealous easy and she wasn’t happy about none of it...but she was also closeted and afraid of people finding out. There was a point she became a source of bullying just to throw people off. I grew cautious of telling people. I didn’t want to be targeted anymore. I didn’t want to be used. I didn’t want to be looked at as a freak. Another secret I had to keep. Another thing I had to hide. I’m more open about it now. I still haven’t pin pointed what I am myself. And that’s ok. It really is. FOr everyone who’s unsure it’s ok. No matter your age or how long you’ve had to figure it out.

I met my husband in high school. He was a bright point in those times for me. (And a dark one too, it was high school after all. Drama.) We were on and off more than once. Him being a hormonal guy and me being the idiot that kept forgiving him when he’d come crying back to me when his attempt to move on was rejected harshly. (he’s a wonderful man but he can still act like a teenager sometimes.)

And yes, we did get married. Which leads me to another stressful point in my life. I was left on my own shortly after our marriage. My husband practically volunteered to go be sent overseas. He had to ‘prove himself’. He had to ‘get away’. And so he left. We weren’t prepared. I certainly wasn’t. For nearly a whole year I was left on my own. In a tiny apartment. At first I was ok...until both cars broke down. I had no ride and I was too scared and anxious to ask for help. Cause the one time I did I got guilt tripped about being a burden to my husband by someone he worked with giving me a ride. and the manager of the apartment was a ‘military hater’. So she wasn’t happy about us. So I felt trapped. Alone. Scared. Isolated. And I gained 100+ pounds from ordering out cause I had no way to leave. It was dark time and I was a mess and the apartment went to shit cause of it too. It was my first mental break. I didn’t recognize it then. I do now though. When my husband returned it was to a barely kept together apartment and a wife that was suddenly overweight and mentally unsound. It was a stressful time. I tried to get help...but they did nothing but throw medication at me that didn’t work.

One of the many reasons I don’t fully trust doctors.

Fast forwarding by a lot, skipping over quite a few little things that went on that probably had some affect on me. But we’re gonna go with big things for now. We’re in alabama now. I need a job. Jody helps me get one at a bowling alley on base. It’s my first job after FIVE YEARS of me trying and searching with little luck. The place was ok at first. But things went downhill fast. The promised hours were not what I got. The manager ran two buildings and the one I was at was the one she hated the most. (She admitted this often.) She micromanged everything. Talked down to everyone. Expected more than was could be given.

I was doing the job of 10 other people at that place. And for not enough hours and during the BUSIEST times of the week. The weekends. Most people will scoff at that. “Only the weekends? Pffft! You wimp! You child! That’s nothing!” Yeah. Maybe it is. But those three days of work? They were awful. They were draining and it got to the point I would actually cry before having to go back cause it was so bad. I hated it. But I kept trying cause I felt guilty. I felt weak. And I didn’t want to disappoint my husband who HELPED me get the job. During all this stress I found out I was pregnant. (this part is very upsetting for me and might be for others too. I apologize to anyone who is still reading this.) I didn’t know how to feel when I looked at that stupid pee stick. I was dumbfounded. I told my husband and...his reaction broke my heart. He panicked. Badly. He had to be sure. We went to a doctor. They confirmed. Their ‘Congratulations’ hurt me. It cut too deep. Cause I knew what my husband wanted to do. He wasn’t ready and he was panicking with every day.

He had me convinced we couldn’t do it. I knew it was bull. I knew it wasn’t true. The military would have paid him MORE to have the baby. I knew it. THey increase pay for such things. But I didn’t know how to fight him on it. I didn’t want him to hate me. I didn’t want him to regret or resent me. So...I went along. I agreed.

I know I told some people that it was done cause it was affecting my health. I lied. I felt too ashamed to tell the truth. I didn’t want to say “we got rid of it cause we weren’t ready”. Cause that wasn’t all true. HE wasn’t ready. I was more than so. I always wanted kids. At least one. But he...

He once told me “If it happens then it happens and we’ll deal”...that was clearly not the case. The abortion broke me. Both mentally and emotionally and physically. I hurt. So much. I still have nightmares at times. Not as often anymore thankfully. But back then it was almost every night afterwards. I...I went back to work. I had to. What else could I do? But not long after returning I just couldn’t anymore. I saw a therapist and he was kind. Understanding. I wasn’t used to that from doctors in the military. He helped some. But it was a temporary thing. Not a full time therapist. But even with his help I could stick it. I had to get away from that job and I needed time.

So I quit...And I felt ashamed and guilty cause I was handed that job on a silver platter and I couldn’t stick to it. I did for 4 years but I still felt horrible.

I stopped seeing that doctor. I stopped taking my meds. I just...tried to move on on my own. I tried to find other things to do. I had my friends online and they helped a lot. I disappeared into my writing. I distracted myself for a long, long time. Then things started going downhill ‘last year’, of 2019. Money getting tighter. Friends getting busy. Some of my favorite places to hang out online, RP forums mostly, were slowing or dying and shutting down. Some of the people I called friends weren’t talking to me anymore. I knew some were just busy and dealing with their own lives but it still felt painful and I felt alone again. Even with a house of three dogs, a roommate, a husband...I felt unwanted. Unloved. Useless. worthless. Pitiful. Shameful. Painful. I couldn’t sleep right. I was staying up for DAYS straight cause of my nightmares and insomnia and my brain just not turning off. I barely ate. My husband had started doing new better work but also college classes and had NO TIME. No time to talk. No time to sit with me anymore. No time. And I knew he needed space to work. I understood that. I wasn’t stupid. It wasn’t that he didn’t care he was just too busy to focus on anything but. Yet it still hurt. I was alone. I felt hollow and full of nothing but darkness at the same time. As dramatic as that sounds. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to not be a burden. I didn’t want the people I knew to feel they had to bother with me anymore. They wouldn’t need to worry or care or bother checking on me anymore. No more emotional mess that is me. No more mother hen monster fussing. No more pestering to hang out. No more.

I had a plan. I had a method. I had a place. All I needed was to wait for my husband to leave in the morning. Make sure the roommate was still sleeping in like always. And I’d take care of it all. I’d stop being a pest, a burden, a mess, a black mark on the lives of those I knew. I’d stop being a disappointment, a failure, a weakling, a pathetic excuse of life.

But one night...I realized those thoughts were wrong. just a moment. Just a spark of a thought. Through the dark fog that dominated my mind. And I sat down and talked to my husband. I told him what was wrong. I told him what I had planned to do. And he took me to someone as soon as possible. They sent me to a hospital (by the way 16 hours waiting in a hospital room is AWFUL and hospitals should be ashamed). And THEY sent me to a Behavioral Health Facility. A nut house. Yeah. BHF is just the nice way to name it. I was there for three days. It seemed to help. I calmed down. I discovered I had diabetes while there too. I continued to seek treatment. I got my therapist. I got my psychiatrist. I have help now. Continuous help. Consistent help. And I’ve stayed on my meds this time. All this started in May 2019. I went into the BHF on May 10, 2019 and I’ve done my best to stick with everything. I’ve realized a lot about myself and I’m working on a lot of things. I’m hoping to keep getting better. There are a lot of people that helped along the way. People that kept me from doing something I’d regret sooner. Some that helped me more than they could ever realize and I wish I still talked to them. But I know they’ve had life keep them down. I want to thank them right now for being there for me. Misty, Tahki, Jessi, Tana, Fishy, Oobi, Verg, Aru, Naan, that one person who kept answering my depressing blogs and cheering me up ( I’m so sorry I can’t remember your name at this time I feel horrid), There are so many others...I want to thank you all. I’d @ you but I don’t want to disturb you with this long ass mess. I love you guys. Always will. I’m sorry for not talking to any of you more. But know I’m still here. And I’m still thinking of you. Always.

#personal #long post #depression #anxiety #suicide mention #new year #Abortion #mental health

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ariagrans · 5 years ago

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I’ve had nothing but pure love for this group for a bit over six months now, and it’d only be right for me to tell each and every one of you why you’re so wonderful to me. Muns are listed alphabetically!

Ally: Let’s kick this off with something I know I said before but I can’t help to say it again, you amaze with how dedicated you are! I freakin’ love that about you, and it’s an honor to get to be around that. As someone who fawns over all the ships, you know I’ve always loved yours and I love what you put into all of yours replies. They each so well written and I couldn’t feel more blessed to know you. I want the whole world to know what you all you put into your roleplaying so they really know what it’s like to put heart into something. @hqmaia

Becca(EST): Oh man, you really bring me back. When I think about what RP used to be like, I’m thinking of 2012/13 when everything was so with the flow and that’s what you are. I feel like I’m back to when things were easier in life, when it wasn’t so stressful, when RP was a proper escape to submit all of your creativity into. Every time I’m on here and I see you on my dash, I get taken back to that time, and I love every bit of it. You put so much into making this group feel like one and it wouldn’t be the same without! @liliisms

Becca(GMT): My precious Becca, where do I begin? I gotta keep these relatively simple or else this is turning into a novel, so let me focus on just how much you’ve made me fall for your muses! Truly Taylor and Niall couldn’t be more perfect, and I don’t know how you do it but you do. I am such a sucker for Taylor and Louis, and you do such a wonderful job at giving that ship what it needs to thrive, and I’ve never had so much with a Niall before! Even if it’s me seeing him on the dash most of the time or him being cute with Ari, he genuinely brings a smile to my face. Thank you for having them here and blessing my dash with every single post you make. You’re such a crucial part of this RP like everyone, and I couldn’t be happier that you are one. @teylcrswift

Beth: Talk about some who is so unapologetic with the MURDER you inflict on my with you and your muses both, Miss Beth. You know what you’re doing when you’re doing it and you don’t care how much it kills me as long as I find it perfect and you know I always do! If we had an awards for one who plays their character so well in regards of the real celebrity, it’s all yours hands down. I already loved Jack from what I had saw of him and I wasn’t prepared for what would happen when I came here, but you have completely caused me to nose dive into the pool of infatuation with your Jack. All of your muses for that fact, they bring a lot of emotions out of me, and that takes a lot of skill on your part that I honestly can’t go without. I don’t know what the polls are yet, but you’re definitely an All Star. @jocklowden

Charlie: Is it okay for me to start this by saying I love you? Because I do, I really do. You are a part of my every day life now and I honestly wouldn’t want it to be any different. Even if I’m too stressed to get on the dash or not feeling good, you’re still there to be an amazing person to me and somehow want to talk to me! I think Charles and Ariana is what really kick started the two of us talking to each other back in February and it’s seriously been a wonderful almost four month getting to know you. I’m constantly amazed by how fascinating you are and what you do with yourself, even if you don’t believe me when I say it, you are truly one of the coolest people I’ve ever met and I’ll gladly brag to anyone I know that I also get to know you. Thank you for everything you do, everything you contribute, and everything about you that’s made you a perfect human to me. You’re one hell of a friend and I couldn’t imagine it being any different. @madelame-x

Dee: I know you’ve been here before, but since you just got back, I thought I’d take the opportunity here to welcome you again! I’m excited to RP with your Brie and if you want to plot, Ariana/Fionn/Darren are all yours! Thank you for giving us your creativity and time, I know we’ll all appreciate it. @briannelarsonx

Emily: Girl, you know how to make someone feel loved and their muses feel loved so well, I can only hope that I make you feel the same way! I think everything started with Ari and Troian’s friendship and it’s snowballed in a big ole’ bundle of love for all of your muses since! It’s so easy to write with you and I can feel the chemistry for who we play flow right out when I’m doing my replies! Our friendship means to world to me and no matter what happens and wherever anything takes us, I know I want you to be there with me to write it all out. @hqsofia

Faith: This may be a weird way to start things out for your segment here, but I have to say it. I’ve never met another writer that is so damn good at dry humor the way you are. I mean, there are so many funny people here and I love every bit that they give, but Aaron is one of a kind and damn do I love seeing him on my dash! I haven’t had much experience with others who play him, so having him here really is like a rare gem for me! And you sure know how to make him shine. Him and Lizzie both, with the way they talk to each other, I’m entirely pulled in and each reply is perfect. And oh, don’t let me forget, you know what you’re doing with drama as well! I’m so blessed to get to partake in it with you, and I hope you can forgive me for my lack of activity for our bbies Aaron and Darren, the troubling two. It’s already one of my favorite friendships and that’s largely due to you being the far better half, so never change! You’re wonderful the way you are. @aarcntveit

Ina: My sweet, sweet Ina! If there’s one person that I just want to wrap my arms around and give the biggest hug to, it’s gotta be you! You’re always bringing a smile on my face even when you’re not doing anything but posting in the ooc blog or reblogging a photo of Gen and talking about how pretty she is. I do the same, I mean. I’m obsessed with Ariana so we’re in the same boat of those who totally adore their muses, and I adore yours! I need to get on it with more threads with you because I know I’m missing out on the perfection! You’re a wonderful roleplayer and an absolutely stellar admin that I feel lucky to be around in this group, and it’s been an hour to spend these past seven odd months here with you. @itsgenevievegnt

Jaq: I can’t even begin to properly put into words how wonderful you are, Jaq. A bit of time had passed of me admiring your characters from what felt like a far, but once we had something going for them, their chemistry practically wrote itself! Not to mention our own because my friendship with you blossomed quick and has been one of my favorite to ever experience through RP. I know we’re both busy and have a lot going on nowadays, but Ariana will never forget the threads she’s had with your muses, and I can’t wait for more to come with Cami and whoever else you may ever play. You’re so funny and you don’t mind when I say something utterly dumb on discord and that calls for one hell of a friend because I feel like I say a lot of dumb stuff. And before it slips my mind, I want to add that I hope you had one hell of a time in Maui! You deserved it. @hqcami

Katie: Strike me down right now for not having more going on with you! I adore Diana so much and love seeing her on my dash, I demand I get my ass in gear and get some stuff going. Especially now that I have Darren, even though she’s best friends with Lizzie which we shall access properly, I’d love to have more going with such a wonderful muse played by a fabulous person! And my god, you’re one hell of a cutie on the main. You’re so sweet and I love seeing your posts with Emilia even if you’re just promoting for more people to join. Feel free to message me whenever and about whatever you want, I’d love to get anything started on any of my bbies with you. @diannahq

Kay: Another case where I’m totally ashamed of myself for not having anything going on with such a perfect muse! One, I might add, that’s brought my precious Dove and her muse a lot of joy which makes me love you all the more, because Samantha deserves all the perfect ships and you do one hell of a job to give her one, and that’s makes a pretty great cookie in my book. Please come to me for whatever you want and I’ll have it on your way. I’ve been so tempted to make more promos on my own character just to get you the rest of the 5SOS boys cause I’d love for you to have them around and see the band thriving, and your Luke has been the best one to see around in my years of RPing, thank you so much for gracing us with him. @hwl-hemmo

KJ: I just want you to know that you have been a total staple to my experience here at Hollywoodland, KJ. From your muses to the way you personally are, I get so much enjoyment out of your presence here that I marvel at the way you are. From being a wonderful writer with your characters to being absolutely precious out of character, especially when you had met Eliza and gifted us with the cutest meet and greet photos I’ve ever seen, you’re exactly what this place will always need and I’m so happy that you’re not only a part of this family but one of who helps keep it rolling on the main. From a talented writer to a caring admin, you’ve got it all and my muses will forever love yours just like I love you. @kjapayo

Lara: How can I say that you make my stomach hurt without it sounding bad? I mean, I’m sure Jordan can say it and end up turning it into a flirt! But honestly, you’ve made me actually cry with how funny you are. I have to hide my laughs at work, but it’s all out when I’m home and I’ve had to take time to recuperate when I laugh so hard! Ariana just loves Jordan to bits and she’d do anything to have him around as much as possible. I can’t stress it enough but you really do have a talent with yourself and your muse for cracking me the hell up and I think we all need someone like that in our lives, so thank you for being in mine! @jordnconnor

Laura: I need to message you pronto because if I don’t have more with your perfect muses soon, I may very well go a bit mad! Just what bit I’ve had between Tom and Ariana has been so very dearly loved and I know I’ll enjoy everything that’s written with you, especially since I enjoy reading everything you post! Not to mention how much I love the spread of muses you have, it’d be a crime not to get some for myself so I can enjoy it that much more. I’d love to plot with you even if we all know from the dozens of times that I’ve said how I’m terrible at doing so! @tmhclland

Mal: I know you haven’t been here long, but I really do hope that you find this a place to stay! I see the dedication that you put in your replies and wow is Emilia such a cute little bean! Please feel free to message whenever you’d like if you want anything going with any of my muses, I know I’d love to have something going with your precious girl. @clarkesitos

Maree: Let me take a moment absolutely applaud you for having such a fascinating queen to enjoy on my dash and in this roleplay! I don’t think I’ve ever had the chance to RP with a Stefani this much in all of my years of being on Tumblr, and that’s such a shame because she truly is so beautiful and talented and definitely deserves more recognition in the community. Yours especially deserves all of the attention she can get for being so wonderful and bringing a smile on my face whenever you’re around. Not only are you blessing us with such an underused faceclaim to enjoy on the visual standpoint alone, but also with beautiful writing and skill that makes everyone want to fall in love with her. Bless this queen. @stefgaga

Minnie: The DIVERSITY with your muses, I swear! I’m still shocked by it that I had no idea you played them all, and that takes such a talent to differentiate muses when you have a good amount of them, a talent that you for sure have! I’m just in absolute awe with what you do with and for them, and you’ve given me beautiful ships to admire from a far. Beth definitely knows what Jaoirse means for me, and even though I’m not a part of it, I enjoy being in the front row with a box of popcorn ready for the show, no matter what it is that you’re writing for them! We can’t forget how much I love GMax as well, though! You and Ina write that ship out so beautifully and I’m so delighted that I get to see their relationship and marriage continue on, I can’t wait to see what else you have in store for me. @irishxseahorse

Nikki: Your name is right in the middle of this list with the way I organized it, but I might have had to save it for the last one that I’ve written out, and that’s solely because of the fact that I knew how emotional I’d get over writing this out, and I may need to take the rest of the day to regather my composure afterwards, Babe. Where do I even start though when every single thing about you bring my pure happiness and makes me love you more and more every day? How can I properly explain why Harry and Joe bring me so much joy enough to bring them justice? Because that’s what they do! They make me smile with everything they do, and that’s exactly what you do as well. You know how I feel about you and our ship with Fiorry and friendship with Jariana. It’s the world to me, and I’m tearing up right now just thinking about how you’ve changed my life for the better. You’ve gotten me through more rough times than I’ve even let you know about because all I had to do was talk to you for a few minutes and I immediately feel better. I can’t believe how lucky I really am to have you in my life and I hope you can get a sense of what you mean to me even if all I can do is pour my heart out through messages like this and through the writing of my characters to yours. Yep, I knew it, I’m incredibly emotional and I might have to splash my face with some water after this, but I just can’t get over how great my life is now that you’re in it, and I can’t wait for every day from now on because I now they’ll be spent with you in them. I love you to death, Nikki, and I want to go on about what Fiorry means to me as well, but then I know my tears really won’t let me see my computer screen enough to type it out.. Fuck it, they’re the world to me and Harry has done with you did for me but for Fionn. He’s changed his life entirely and I know Fionn couldn’t possibly be more happy about it. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for them and their future together, and even if I don’t know what it is yet, I know that it’ll be perfect. This is coming to be a ridiculous amount of me pouring my heart out to you, but I can’t help it. I love you, Harry, and Joe more than you’ll ever know and I owe all of my happiness and gratitude to you. @hcurly

Raven: Thank you so much for bringing us the beautiful Zendaya that I feel is rarely played nowadays! Even in the past, I don’t think I’ve had much experience with one, and I’m glad that you’re who brought her here. She’s so well played and such a beautiful soul, I can’t wait to see what all you do with her here and I hope to be a part of that! So whatever you want, if you want, I’d love to plot or get more threads going. @dayaxxcole

Rose(PST): Hello, 1/2 of one of my all time favorite ships here! God, you really know how to deliver such cute material between Brett and Haley, I can’t help but to enjoy every bit of it! Just in general as well, I enjoy everything that you bring to the table and this RP really wouldn’t be the same without you. There’s such a talent in your writing, and don’t think that I didn’t notice what you were able to do to me during AU week! Brett had my heart absolutely breaking with a lot of emotion that I adored so much, and it really takes a talented writer to bring that out of a person! Thank you for having your skill here for all of us to enjoy. @brettdicr

Rose(GMT): ROSE, ROSE, ROSE, what a lovely human being you are! I’m so happy that I get to be a part of a roleplay that has such a wonderful and dedicated player like yourself. I mean, just tear my heart out and use it as an offering to the gods above that granted us Sprousehart to enjoy in this world.. Was that dramatic? It might have been, but who cares, I absolutely adore Cole and I love how he is with Lili. They’re perfect, you’re perfect, please don’t ever go anywhere because I know I couldn’t take it. You inspire me with what you do for your ship and what you do for Becca, all ships should get the chance to experience what yours is like, it’s just so beautiful and you’re amazing at writing it out. I can’t wait to see what else SH has to bring us. @hqcolem

Sadie: You know what I just realized right now? That you’re only playing Lizzie! And what amazes me about that is that you’ve planted so much of yourself in my RPing experience and have become such a big deal to me that I would have sworn you had more characters, but no! You’re just spreading it all around with your perfect Lizzie that I adore so much and feel so honored to have a plot with. Granted, it’s very sad and dramatic and I just want to hug her so bad because of it, but that’s what makes things so exciting. You make things exciting! You’re so good at running this place as well, don’t even let me forget what a great admin you are to us. My god, I just feel so lucky to be here with you and to read what you put out on my dash, it’s such gold every time! Lizzie has such a humor that I’m addicted to and an attitude that knows how to break my heart when it comes out. Thank you for blessing me with your written talent. @ohlizzo

Sam: BBY, OH THE LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU! Let me get my heart shaped boxing gloves out because I’m ready for another battle to see who can say they love each other the most. You’ll see that I win because nothing can beat out the total adoration I have for you and Grant. How well did our bbies click right off the bat? Sure, it started out just with a common admiration for sushi, but it took off and Ariana is practically in love with Grant. In a friendship way of course! With their cute sushi dates and precious hugs, they’re one of my favorite friendships I’ve had for her, and she misses the hell out of him every day on tour! There’s so much more that I want to do with you, especially on my other muses, but for now just let me thank you for always bringing a smile to my face and gracing my dash with a perfect muse like Grant. I truly can’t get enough of you. @theflashgrant

Samantha: Oh my god, you’re just so amazing. I have to start with that because it’s the first thing that comes to mind! You’re seriously so wonderful, and I can’t believe how much I have in common with you. You love Starkid, you watch Dead Meat, we both have terrible sinuses with allergies. I mean, there’s just so much there. I’m not even afraid to share with you when I’m at my dumbest like chester drawers. I feel such strong chemistry for both our friendship and the ones that our muses have together! I knew in the beginning that I’d want something for Doviana but I had no idea that they’d click so well and I think it stems from the way we click! Thank you for being a friend to me and sharing everything you have so far. It’s an honor to call you my friend. @dcvescameron

Sarah(GMT): Bby! I know we don’t talk much and my characters haven’t had much time with Meryl, but I know I want to change that! It’s so lovely see a FC that’s so underused and I’ve always been a big admire of both the real actress and your muse, so I wanted to thank you for gracing my dash with her when I get to see it! Hit me up any time if you want, I’d love to give you all my muses so we can get some fun started. @xitsmerylstreepx

Sarah(EST): I find it quite fitting that you’re here since they do always say to save the best for last! I know I made this alphabetical, but shh, we can say it was planned. I truly am so happy that you’re here and you joined not too far off from when I did! Come to think of it, it might have been around the same time exactly with Vanessa even if you picked up Bella a bit later, so if you think about it, you could say that we really have taken this RP journey together and it’s been one hell of a time! I absolutely adore you and the chemistry that our muses have, and I’m lucky that I get to be one half of Beliana. I know we don’t often get that much time to write together, but when we do get to, I love every bit of it and Ari’s life wouldn’t be the same without your Bella! Thank you for being here with us and for having that feisty mama for us all to enjoy. @b-hxdid

#[ OOC ]#[ hwlappreciation2019 ]#( I really hope that I have everyone listed here!#you all deserve to know how much i love you <3 #and tumblr better have this tagged all correctly for you to see #i love you so much #please forgive that graphic #i hope my messages make up for it )

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betweendoctorsanddetectives · 5 years ago

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Sorry if i don't comfortable sending this message off anon. I just want to say that i'm overwhelmed at the mere idea that any SOULMATES AU fic about D&P is basically canon. I'm so happy they exist (individually)and that they met and are an amazing example of a healthy relationship/friendship/whatever. Like.. I have no words. Also, omg to mark gatiss retweeting dan's video. Have a nice day, sorry for the rant

under the cut because. i got carried away and this is long and im still emotional sdjnfkjdsknfjnsk i hope this makes ANY sense because i am certainly not proofreading it

yes! this goes far beyond anything about rps or about speculation because it’s about young gay people having a gay role model! this is real and relatable and accessible and it’s not just fiction it is a factual relationship and for me at least it goes far beyond anything tv or film could do for me in terms of representation

these are two gay people i have been invested in for almost a decade of my life and they were extremely formative in my realisation of my identity ! and to have recognised myself in them and their story for so so long (in ways i won’t go into publicly) just. made it mean SO MUCH that theyre in a place to talk about it now! their content has and will continue to save lives, Gay Lives! they know this, and i think that was one of dan’s primary motivations for finally making this video

i’ve just been discussing this with someone so i’m just going to copy what i said here:

Over the last two years I came to the conclusion that they would never overtly address it, since they had been a lot more open in videos (being closer, touching, referencing gayness more without 'no homo', even making gay jokes, not editing out particularly suggestive comments and eye contact, etc). I thought them doing those things Was going to be their version of coming out, which I was content with but I'm very glad Dan made this video, both to set up some boundaries and build a foundation for a more comfortable existence online, and to Save Gay Kids. I thought the boncas was the extent of them coming out if I'm honest; it was So Heartwarming and lovely that they felt comfortable enough to do that

I know the fandom has its bad apples and there has been a lot of invasive things over the years but the core of fans that have stayed with it for the last three years are on the whole very sweet and considerate and respectful. Most if not all of these people are gay themselves and have been so invested just because it's so much easier to have someone to look up to, even if you are projecting a little bit! And it's not like these gay people were deluded or forceful because they saw and recognised elements of their identity in Dan and Phil and they were right and it was there all along. I'm obviously not meaning this in the "I was right!!!" way.. more that. People would make out that it was straight girls forcing and fetishising things and overall that's not what was going on. speculation and being invested in their relationship was a positive safe space for me . I saw myself in them and I think it's massively overlooked how Dan and Phil have been a formative part of an entire online generation of gays

for them to be Out and Proud, advocating Love and Acceptance and Hope. it just means the absolute world to me. dan explicitly labelling him and phil as soulmates does wonders for a scared and lost and broken gay heart. it’s kind of ? funny and ironic that life has played out like a fanfiction from 5 years ago, but it’s incredibly heartwarming and tender and gives so so so much hope for gay people everywhere to see such a positive example of a long term gay relationship and healthy and (for the most part) harry gay people. people who are AUTHENTIC and REAL and who have been looked up to and trusted by baby gays for years and years and years

my final thought is just that i saw a post about how over the past couple of years we’ve called dnp things like “kings of the lesbians” and “lesbian protectors” because of the massive lesbian fanbase and the way they’ve been so kind and supportive and unconditionally loving of lgbt fans. and now. now its their turn to be supported by the lesbians and britney nodding.gif

#anon

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brotherdrowned · 6 years ago

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eep hi!! i’m faith andddd this is my smol. :) i’m super excited here and to write with all of you. it’s been like.. a year since i’ve done any sort of group rp’s. i’ve been indie since december. xD playing around in the t100 fandom. but i missed groups and in my search i found this one !! here’s everything you’ll need to know about holly to start! alsooo hit the heart if you want me to hit you up to plot !!

TW DEATH MENTION !!! TW SUICIDE !!!

[ madelaine petsch ] — What’s that figure? Oh, it’s just HOLLY WILKES. SHE is a 22 year old WAITRESS who is CISFEMALE and lives in Levins. You know, I think in a horror movie SHE would be THE CHEERLEADER THAT PRETENDS TO BE DUMB. WHEN THEY'RE NOT. They’d hate for The Director to find out THAT SHE PUSHED HER BROTHER INTO A POOL WHEN HE WAS THREE. CAUSING HIS DEATH.

NAME. holly ann wilkes.

NICKNAME. her mom used to call her princess, but that died with her mom three years ago.

AGE. 22.

BIRTHDATE. january 14th.

ORIENTATION. bisexual.

OCCUPATION. waitress & student.

PHYSICAL THINGS

HEIGHT. five feet even.

WEIGHT. 119 lbs.

EYES. light brown.

HAIR. dirty blonde // light brown.

TATTOOS. she has a small one on her wrist, and one on her left ankle. ( desc to come !! )

SCENT. she over uses vanilla perfumes, so she typically smells of vanilla.

SKIN TEXTURE. smooth. she’s obsessive over lotion. loves the feel of her skin being soft.

CLOTHING STYLE. she loves to stick to the latest trends, but also likes sweats with oversized sweaters and boots.

DISTINGUISHING TRAITS. she has a few scars down her arm from playing as a child. a couple on her knees, too.

VERBAL TAGS. soft, smooth a sweet. like a sugar cookie. deceivingly kind.

ACTION TAGS. she smiles a lot, likes to fiddle with her hair. and she bites her lip a lot.

PERSONALITY THINGS !!

PERSONALITY OVERALL. she is a VERY layered person. on the outer layers, the things other see, she’s sweet. innocent and kind, if a little dumb. constantly giving others a reason to love her. though some more weary people wonder why there’s never anyone super close to her. because she doesn’t allow people to get too close. for fear that she won’t be able to hold up the facade. under the initial layers, she’s very vain and selfish. she takes great pride in her appearance. she will do anything to keep her secrets secret. contrary to what she shows outwardly she is VERY smart. it comes along with the manipulative and cunning traits. early in life she was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. her mother, single at the time, moved to keep it a secret. and told no one. no one is aware of her diagnosis. and it’s one of the secrets she would do anything to keep.

BAD HABITS. she has a habit of adopting animals and then dumping them, she wants desperately to feel the love for them other people do. but has yet to be able to form that bond.

APPEARANCE THINGS !!

EYES. she has BEAUTIFUL light honey brown eyes, that tend to darken in situations where she’s uncomfortable or anxious. sometimes certain lighting’s have the same affect.

LIPS. her lips are quite literally what others wish they had naturally. with a perfectly full bottom lip and a cupids bow to die for, her lips are the envy of other girls her age. some would even go as far as to get injections to replicate them. - bullies in school used to tell her that her top lip was too thin compared to her bottom and now she believes this fully.

NOSE. her mother used to say that she had the epitome of a small, elfish button nose. rounded perfectly at the tip but still small enough to be considered girlish and feminine.

BUILD. she’s tiny, just barely standing above the requirements of a dwarf. five foot. she’s got a dancers build, having taken dance classes for several years as a teen. only recently dropping out of her class to have more time for school and work. she’s fallen just out of shape now.

SIGNIFICANT PEOPLE !!

MOTHER. being a single parent, her mother, winnie, had all the love in the world to give to her daughter. she struggled, working two jobs to support them. leaving holly with her grandparents but it was a necessary evil. she didn’t like it and when she was home with her daughter she made it amazing. holly had everything she could ever dream of. she was the epitome of spoiled.

FATHER. her father has never been in the picture, no child support, no visits, nothing. her mother knows who he is and he knows she exists but wants nothing to do with her. - what holly doesn’t know, is that he was a married man. wealthy with a family of his own. her mother was the side chick. her mother constantly spun beautiful stories about him. saying that he was dead and that he died a heroic death. just to keep holly happy. until she was ten. when she found out that her father was alive and that he didn’t want her.

STEP FATHER. her mothers husband, he came when she was eight. it all changed so fast. they moved into a new house, with her new ’ dad. ’ and her mom. and it was barely a year later when her mother was having a baby. a little boy. lucas, her stepfather, was so excited. but he didn’t let it affect how he treated holly. he was good to her. he bought her anything that she could want. he tried to be her father, he tried to be the good guy. to be her friend, even. but she hated him. she hated anyone that spent time with her mother. in her twisted reality her mother belonged to only her.

BROTHER. the whole basis of her secret. it was just holly and her mother until lucas came. and then.. all too soon someone else was taking her mother’s attention. a baby. a little boy. lucas she could tolerate. he was kind. he tried to make her happy. but jamie. the little screaming baby who wanted nothing but to take their mother away from her… yeah, no. she couldn’t deal with him. she tolerated him for four years almost before... she snapped. (more on this in her bio !! )

BIO OVERVIEW !!

when she was young she didn’t have anyone but her mother. her father didn’t want her - couldn’t have her, as he already had a family of his own. he didn’t have the time to deal with another child running around. nonetheless the issues it would cause in his wife. her mother didn’t care, though. she loved holly. she’d wanted to be a mother from the time she was a little girl and though.. being a single mother was hard for her she fought to do everything she could to be sure that holly had a good childhood.

holly spent a lot of time with her mother’s mom and dad. her grandparents. holly never really liked them the way she did her mom. they were strict and made her follow a strict regime that while.. good for her, she didn’t like. they weren’t too fond of her either but they were never mean.

she showed signs that something was off from the earliest of ages and out of their love for her everyone just brushed it off as a spoiled child. it wasn’t a big deal, she didn’t... kill animals or.. like, hurt anyone or anything. she was just.. different.

and then, when she was five, she’d been going to a therapist for almost a year when he finally referred her winnie to a psychologist for a psychological evaluation. after everything was said and done, winnie came away with a diagnosis and a basis as to why her daughter was so off. it affected her more than she’d EVER admit.

she never told anyone, not even her parents. they just continued to believe that their granddaughter was just a bit weird. no big deal.

three years later, her mother got married. to a very nice man named lucas who tried everything he could possibly think of to make the eight year old like him. it never worked. she hated him. she hated him for a multitude of reasons.

she hated him because they had to move cities. she had to change schools. she hated him because her mother loved him and because he took her attention.

she hated him because within the year her mother was pregnant with a little boy. jamie. her little brother. at nine years old she knew that she hated him. she hated him with every fiber of her being and.. while it took her awhile to get a handle on her emotions and pretend like she loved him. it was difficult.

the three years she spent with him were the worst of her life. she hated him more every time he opened his mouth. whether it be to cry.. or to talk. and god forbid he look at her.

the day that she killed him was the day that her whole world changed again. her mother was at work, lucas in the house making them lunch. they were playing by the pool. she was good. too good. she’d been planning it for so long that.. she knew exactly how she was going to do it.

he was obsessed with the pool. constantly playing around it when he wasn’t supposed to be. at almost twelve they trusted her to watch him. to make sure he didn’t fall in.

the plan was set in motion. the dog had been digging a hole by the gate. she’d been helping her whenever she got the chance. it was slow going. it took days. and then.. it happened. their dog got out and she.. well

she shoved her brother hard into the pool. stood there for a moment and watched as he floundered around in the water. sinking like a rock.

and then she was off, turning to take off after her dog. by the time she got back she found lucas sopping wet trying to breathe life into his kid.

it didn’t work.

jamie died at approximately 3:15pm. 19 days before his fourth birthday.

surprisingly, she was never caught. they didn’t think she was capable of something like that.. and the chasing of her dog was a good alibi.

it was executed perfectly. the only thing she struggled with was playing the part of a grieving older sister when... she loathed him.

her mother and lucas divorced soon after, the loss of their son too much and while he continued to send her presents for her birthdays and holidays she never saw him again.

holly and her mother moved into an apartment and that’s where she still lives, even now that her mother is gone.

her mother spiraled after her brother died, eventually taking her own life. holly had tried everything to keep her together but.. it just didn’t work.

it was really hard on holly to handle her mothers death but.. it’s been three years now and.. she’s doing okay? finally.

SO yeah that’s an overview of her bio and i’ll probably write a more in depth version at some point !!

#dhqintro #&. 'i fear no monsters for no monsters i see. because all this time the monster has been me.' / ch. study.#about.

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diveronarpg · 6 years ago

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Congratulations, TRIS! You’ve been accepted for the role of TITANIA. Admin Jen: Trish, your app was absolutely astonishing. I loved how deeply you unveiled Theodora, from your intricate analysis as you explained what drew you to them, to the detailed points you made in the future plots. You seem to have a grasp on infinite directions that you could take them in and it served as the best kind of prelude to the interview where they really bloomed to life before our very eyes. Your passion for them really shines through and it’s made your application very impactful to us overall. We can’t wait to see our beloved Titania on the dash! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Tris

Age | 22

Preferred Pronouns | he/him/his

Activity Level | 8; I’m itching to write in this universe, and barring any inconveniences, I plan to spend as much time as I can doing just that ♥ I’m waiting to hear about a job, also, but until then I can get online daily

Timezone | CST

Current/Past RP Accounts | here is my most recent account & here is my account from the first round of DV

In Character

Character | Theodora Moreau “Titania” & could I change their age to 27/their FC to Medalion Rahimi, please?

“A name is just a name,” Theodora drawls, almost sleepily and with a quiet sadness, but their eyes are wide awake and their lips are curled upwards. “Call out for your God and skin your knees, or summon the devil and bleed yourself dry. It doesn’t matter which.”They inch closer, their breath all at once so bitter and so sweet. Intoxicating. They’ve studied the vices of man for so long that they’ve learned how to become one themselves.“I’ll still arrive.” Death and life are the same being; it’s just comforting to think of them as sisters at war. Theodora knows that you have to take a breath to have it stripped from your lungs, and that you first have to be hollow if you ever wish to be whole. You have to be everything. Never limit yourself to a singular title. “Sing me your dreams, and whisper your fears. I can give you both.”

What drew you to this character? | There’s a strange sort of magic present in Theodora’s biography, something that kept drawing me back to them no matter how far I strayed while reading the rest of the cast. I spent a long time looking for that perfect muse, for that one character that was going to grip my imagination and refuse to let go, and through a process of restlessly running back and forth — I realized, without a doubt, that Titania was the endpoint of my search. Their hold on me was soft, lingering, so much so that I hardly noticed it at first; but they buried themselves in my thoughts and before long I found myself envisioning my application for them coming to life, thinking of all the metaphors I could write and the development I could experience and how I’d have the opportunity to breathe life into such a fantastic, unexplainable creature.

Titania enchants me because that’s exactly what they are — a divine figure, the closest thing to a modern deity. Their status hadn’t been hoisted upwards on the shoulders of an ancient surname, and their influence wasn’t purchased with blood-stained money; those things were as much thrust upon them as they were fairly earned. That’s how the legends go, do they not? A babe in the woods, raised by a witch to speak in riddles and trained by the wolves to never hide their teeth. Perhaps they were a faerie changeling, left in a crib overnight and unable to adapt to human society. Maybe they drove their mother mad. Regardless of the tale, regardless of the tragedy, a child is always left alone in Verona. Hungry and abandoned and shackled by a mortality that does not suit them. Theodora knows their truth. How they bleed just the same as anyone else, how their stomach growls just as loud. What it means to be unloved and unwanted and to dig through trash. There was a never a forest, no mystical flowers in their hair.

But they’ve managed to cast an illusion on the people of Verona, their godhood is self-made, and that’s why I’m so drawn to them. Because someone that the city would have once eaten alive managed to switch the script, they were able to seduce Lady Luck and swindle her for all that she was worth; and now Titania is a myth. Now they sleep and only dream — of maidens that could breathe underwater and how their ability was shared with a kiss, of a man in the sky who plucked Theodora from the ground because he thought one of his stars had fallen. There are no more night terrors. No memories of clutching to the leg of someone who was destined to walk away, of crying in the crimson streets, of having to beg for help. Begging to be wanted and treasured and feared. I want to write Titania, not simply because there’s so much that I want to help them discover, but because I know that there’s so much for me to learn about myself while writing them. Wouldn’t it be grand? To be a god-emperor.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | — I definitely want to explore their relationship with Orpheus, to flesh it out and discover their dynamic alongside Stass. There’s so much potential there, something that is all at once so mythical and so human; so beautiful and so tainted. Their love is not sweet, but it is not necessarily cruel. Not always. There’s respect there, a bond that sings of destiny, but there’s also a rift between them and I want to get to the bottom of it. I want to understand their similarities and confront their differences. Why does Orpheus always come back to them, as if he has a lack of meals to sate his appetite, and why does Titania allow him to creep beneath their skin and their sheets? Why do they want to kiss him as much as they want to devour him? I know this is an expected plot, and it’s not all that exciting to discuss, but it’s something that I’m so excited for. Zeus and Hera have a connection that has stood the test of time; I wonder if Theodora and Orpheus will prove to be deathless in their own right.

— What if their creations fail to deliver, what if their position backfires on them? What if they lose their divinity? I’d love to see Titania struggle with their humanity, for their many glamours to be broken. At the core of themselves, they are mortal. Try as they might to prove otherwise, they know the reality of their situation. They’re as clever as they are manipulative, equally cunning and inventive, and the people of Verona have always been quick to throne new rulers. All they had to do was bewitch their minds, embracing the mystery that surrounded their origins and playing those beneath them like the fine strings of a lute. And the music that thrums around them is soft, a melody that sinks deep and spreads through your bones, but all faerie magic has a weakness. An iron sword to their throat and salt in their wounds, and one should always remember that Verona is just as prone to dethroning their kings. Theodora can’t be useful forever, they know that their legend will someday become a petrified tree in an evergreen forest, and that inevitable fate is what terrifies them most. They don’t want to relive their abandonment again.

— Their hands are more calloused than many would believe, a rough touch that’s apt to break fragile things. Titania’s relationship with Catherine is soft, almost gentle, a warped reflection of how Lavinia had raised them; but the difference is that Theodora is nothing like their mentor. Not really. Whereas they had been sheltered behind silk drapes and fed honey, Titania wants to protect Catherine in a more savage way. And it’s not that they want the young girl to wilt her petals, to remove her skin and reveal the thorns beneath, but they would hate for her to spend an eternity trapped in a tower of her own making. Always looking down at a cruel and hungry world. While it’s true that Theodora found the blessing within their upbringing, how to wield all the shadows and splendor and to create something sharp from both, Catherine is not fit for godhood. To be a saint is not to be the backbone of an empire. Not like Theodora has become, with their magic and their mythos. They will do all that it takes to keep Catherine safe, to keep her heart from being stolen and shattered and replaced with something cold. Not like theirs had been all those years ago. Even if it that means being the thief.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes! Break my heart & I’ll break yours.

In Depth

In-Character Interview:

— What is your favorite place in Verona? ⦁ “My own mind.” They say it without pausing to think about their answer, not bothering to look over their shoulder and meet the gaze of the man that had asked the question. He has yet to realize that midnight affairs are meant to end before daybreak. Theodora watches as the early morning sun rises over Verona, as the shades between gold and silver blur until nothing is distinguishable, and they laugh. Turning away from the window, a soft halo of light breaking through the waves of their hair, they flash their teeth.

“Don’t mistake me. The city has many wonders, places that mean a great deal to me.” They close the distance between themselves and their lover, curling a finger beneath his chin and forcing him to stare upwards. Like he should be begging for mercy. Like he’s only just realized that he entered the chambers of a god. “Memories are fickle. Some remain, and some fade; but they’re always a part of who we are.” Theodora presses their fingers to his lips, smiling as he kisses the scarred and scented flesh. One bite of faerie food is all it takes to never hunger for anything more.

“Verona, I believe, has a mind of its own. And those buildings and all these soldiers and this war are all memories, some new and some ancient and some that have long been forgotten.” They pull away, walking backwards to where they had been standing and lifting their arms to grip the drapes that flow around them. “We have to share these things with each other. All the beauty and all the terror. And I’ve always been selfish.” They release the curtains and ward off the sunlight, plunging their room into darkness. “I don’t care about the landmarks and the gardens and all the places where blood has been shed. I want something that’s all my own.”

They tap a finger against their temple, smirking playfully. “I’m in Verona, am I not? And my thoughts are so wonderful. Why go to a museum when I can paint a masterpiece behind my eyelids? Why visit the symphony when I can conduct my own music?” They’re at his side before he realizes that they’ve been inching towards him, their arms wrapped around his torso and their lips brushing his throat. “Why spend my money at a brothel when boys like you are lining up to be eaten.” They tuck a stray lock of blonde behind his ear, moving to kiss his forehead. “I’m going to forget you, but Verona will always have your skeleton in its closet.”

— What does your typical day look like? ⦁ They scoff, rolling their eyes and disregarding the absurd question. “There’s nothing typical about me.” It’s blasphemy to assume anything about them could ever follow a routine, let alone be boring. After all, the Moreau heir has never experienced the same story twice. Yesterday they made love to a woman who sang the sweetest opera, a natural talent, but not quite; a bird had made its nest in her rib cage and she was cursed with its song. And tomorrow Theodora plans to kill a man who was born without eyes, who instead looks with his heart. He won’t even see them coming.

The mundane offends them, the thought that someone could ever relate to them and how they spend their time. Only Hera and the wolves have the right to say that they are familiar with Theodora. “I can’t answer.” They stalk off, disappearing within a matter of seconds and making their way through the shadows of Verona. There’s a bag of faerie blood in their pocket, a deal is waiting to be made around the corner; and it’s only then that they realize the one constant in their life. Outside of a particularly dangerous man and his dangerous smile, of course, but that’s a tale for another day. Zeus knows them, this is true, but he is nothing like them. (Right?)

Lucifer is always hard at work, but Theodora works harder. They invest pieces of themselves in every hour of each day, waiting until sunset to snatch them back and be complete once more. They are a true business-person, simple as that. They wear a silken dress in place of a suit, they hold their meetings in bars and kiss investors with liquor in their mouth, but the men of Wall Street could learn a thing or two from them. If anything about Theodora was going to be called average, something to be expected, it would be both their determination and their many enchantments. You can always find Theodora trying to bewitch someone.

— What has been your biggest mistake thus far? ⦁ “Loving.” Theodora says it quietly, a soft break in their voice, and they rise up to their feet and prepare to take flight. Courage and pride are two different beasts to tame. “I regret allowing myself to love.” They don’t tell the old woman who, exactly, but their eyes betray them. The way they glance away, how the dark brown depths begin to sparkle just barely. This is the stare of an abandoned child, and the way their fists clench proves that the abandonment followed them into adulthood.

Conversing with elders on park benches is a strange hobby, but something about the act brings Theodora comfort. They’re so terrified of old age that they prefer to confront the possibility at close range. That one day their hair will grey and their shoulders will hunch, that their bed will grow cold and empty and they’ll cease to be a god and become more of a witch. Still powerful, still feared, but a caricature of themselves; a little less divine. They gather their belongings and stand.

They wonder, often, what became of their mother. Of the father they never knew. They have no memories left of the woman beyond the one that haunts them, of a hoarse voice begging her to stay and a dead gaze that refused to look down. And then Theodora thinks of Lavinia, who abandoned them a different way, but a wound is still there nonetheless. How cruel it is, to mother something in the place of another and then to make the same departure. Orpheus crosses their mind, too, but just for a moment. They never promised each other to stay faithful.

“I must go.”

— What has been the most difficult task asked of you? ⦁ They clean their face of cosmetics and stare at the plainness of their features in a vanity mirror. There’s a note-card in their hand with a series of questions, silly things that shouldn’t require much thought, but the only way to control yourself is to know all the facets of your being. They’re caught off-guard for a moment, but they quickly find their resolve and clench their jaw. “To become a god.” And they’re looking straight at their reflection when they say it, making a metaphor out of themselves like they love to do so fondly, but the tone of their voice is more aggressive than dreamy.

Theodora lifts an elixir and massages their neck with the scent of lavender. For balance and peace of mind. It’s not regret they feel, not really, but more of a heavy burden. Something akin to what Atlas has been forced to endure for centuries. And they have to wonder if he had been a mortal boy with a hunger to be special, lifting the world to prove that he could and forced to carry it for an eternity. Maybe they’re more like him than Hera, or maybe there are too many gods living in their soul for there to ever be any serenity. They clawed their way to the top of Mt. Olympus and now they have the gall to complain about the view.

No, they’d never rid themselves of their divinity, but having to always be clever and sharp and magical can be tiring; and whereas many individuals of similar standing refuse to consider their mortality, that once they had simply been alone and afraid and starving, Theodora never allows themselves to forget. Maybe because they’re not ready to reveal their true potential, to rise through the clouds and hold lightning in their palms. Are they Zeus, too? Never satisfied and always ready to lash out? Perhaps. But they’re also just a person, living in a city of blood and brick. They’re not allowed to feel weak, to cry. Otherwise they’d flood the world. “I think I cursed myself.”

— What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues? ⦁ Theodora chuckles, almost blindsided by the question, but it’s hardly one that requires any thought. They lick their fingers clean and finish swallowing the remnants of their dessert, looking up at their companion and smirking with all their teeth on display. “Let them eat cake, I say.” It’s as simple as that. Regardless of their role in the chaos, how they’ve chosen a side, it’s the least of their concerns. The city of Verona will always be at war, and two men will always fight over control. It’s in the blindness of their rage, however, that the true rulers rise.

The Capulet emissary is much the same, playing their part to the best of their abilities, but only enough to keep the production going. What does it hurt if they’re a member of another cast? That they’re wearing enough masks to fund an entire masquerade ball out of only their likeness? Theodora laughs once more, caressing the cheek of the girl across from them and lifting a cherry to her lips. “Don’t you agree, darling?” A stream of red trickles down a pale chin. “Let them grow fat and complacent. Let their gluttony be the end of them.”

Let another pair of kings take their place; let Theodora continue their reign.

#accepted: titania #accepted

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twoblueheartslocked · 4 years ago

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“Mini” Para: September/October Flashback(s)

Rating: PG-13/Soft R.

Pairing: Seblaine.

Sebastian: @colorsicantsee

Blaine: @twoblueheartslocked

Time: Four years before the events of ( Hold On To The Memories, They Will Hold On To You ) Events taking place in September and October of Blaine’s Senior Year and Sebastian’s Junior Year. Blaine (17 as of this para) Seb(16).

Location: Lima and Westerville, OH- Sebastian’s house, Blaine’s house, McKinley High, Dalton Academy, the apple orchard.

Info: A glimpse into the months of September and October and the progression of Sebastian and Blaine’s relationship. Blaine celebrates his 17th birthday on October 22 with Sebastian by his side. They’re closer than ever. Deep feelings linger just under the surface and slap Blaine in the face. Sebastian has never felt so much. They decide to take their relationship a step further.

Warnings(PLEASE READ THIS!): This para includes non-graphic and mild descriptions of sexual situations between minors. We’ve kept it as YA as possible. We are in NO way trying to spotlight sex between teens, we just wanted to show how natural and comfortable they are together and the progression of their relationship. It will be, for the most part, glossed over in the future until they’re older. There will be absolutely no smut written until they’re adults. If anyone feels we’ve taken it too far please let us know and we will fix it. (Under Cut for length and content.)

Extra Warnings: (This RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. You’ve all been warned.)

Notes: Some canon events remain in place while others have been changed. Some things may even be out of order. You can consider this sort of canon divergent AU. A few changes are that Blaine’s parents are different from the show (His mother is Filipina), he didn’t cheat on Kurt or date Dave and Sebastian is younger than Blaine. Feel free to send a message if you have any questions!

Blaine’s POV:

The month of September had flown by Blaine in a whirlwind of giddiness and a permanent smile that Blaine didn’t know what to do with. If you would have told him a year ago that Sebastian would be the one to make him feel this way he’d have laughed. The Seb that had introduced himself to Blaine was too full of himself, too cocky and seemingly only wanted one thing. Sure, there were still little glimpses of the cheeky boy he’d met all that time ago, but the Seb he got to snuggle into and kiss whenever he wanted was so much more. They’d spent September getting to know each other a little bit better. School was in full swing and Blaine was only struggling a tiny bit to juggle time with his McKinley friends and Sebastian. His friends, with the exception of Sam, didn’t understand why Blaine wanted to be near Sebastian let alone with him. All they saw was the bully of the past, the one that had accidentally almost blinded Blaine. They were mad at Blaine for ending things with Kurt even though he’d told them that they both agreed this was better. He’d told them over and over again that Seb wasn’t what they thought at all, that he was good and could be kind and that he treated him well. But, Blaine couldn’t seem to articulate what their very real relationship meant to him. He supposed all that mattered was that it was real and pure and Blaine never wanted it to end. He wanted to stay wrapped up in this feeling and Sebastian for the rest of his life.

They’d spent September and early October taking turns going to each other's concerts. Blaine sitting next to a welcoming but stiff Mr. Smythe and a sweet smiling, sharp tongued Mrs. Smythe as Sebastian lead his Warblers in their croonings. And Blaine would get to shyly pull Sebastian into a hug afterwards and would always look up at Seb as if asking for permission to kiss him in front of his group, not knowing if it was acceptable or too much, to which Seb would blush a little, fight a smile and then lean down and press the quickest kiss to Blaine’s lips like they’d been steady and together for years. Blaine loved it. They’d even mastered ignoring the obnoxious whoops from Hunter. Plus, getting to go to Dalton more made it so Blaine got to see a few of his old friends more often, namely David and Nick which pleased him as he’d missed them both so much.

And Blaine loved it when he was singing up on stage with the New Directions and he looked out and saw Seb clapping along for him, sitting only a little awkwardly with Blaine’s sweet mother and his sleepy father. Sebastian always looked so damn proud and a little awed as he looked up at him on the stage, not a single jealous glint in his eyes. Seb would meet him backstage, his comments about public schools and the like long gone as he shrugged off the suspicious glances from Blaine’s other friends in favor of congratulating him with a ‘You were flawless, Killer’ and a smile that was built just for him. Seb would shake hands with Sam, the only one of Blaine’s friends that actually took the time to talk to Seb.

And as the seasons turned a little colder, Blaine relished in the way a faux grumpy Sebastian would curl into him as they’d take their park walks, groaning about how it was too cold too early even though it hadn't yet dipped lower than 60 degrees outside. It was how Sebastian had ended up with Blaine’s New Directions competition sweatshirt with his last name in big letters on the back. The sight of the garment on Sebastian’s body made him feel dizzy and stupidly happy. Everything about the two of them together, from the day time rides to look at the changing Autumn leaves, to the nighttime stretches of comfortable silence as they looked up at stars, Seb letting Blaine tell little stories about the ones they could see- it all felt perfect. And everytime he let himself get caught up in thinking too hard about what they were and what he was feeling, he’d pull Sebastian into his arms and kiss him so thoroughly that any feelings he might let slip stayed hidden behind his teeth.

It was as Blaine was sitting on the floor of his bedroom in front of his mirror on a crisp, late October morning (his birthday weekend to be exact), getting ready for a newly licensed Sebastian to come pick him up for his birthday date, his stomach flippy at the thought of getting to spend the whole day with him- that he allowed himself to really sit and think about the two of them. About what the last three months had meant to him. He looked at himself in the mirror, his brows arched, and eyes worried. He bit his lip as if he were about to have a scary and raw conversation with himself.

It seemed impossible but in a short yet wonderful time Blaine had fallen in love so hard he was overwhelmed with it. He wanted to scream it in the streets to anyone that would listen, yet he also wanted only to take it out when he was alone, safe under his covers so that only he could see and feel it. He chose the latter, of course. He was almost embarrassed by the emotion swelling inside of him.

Blaine had been in love before, sure, for a time he had loved Kurt. He truly had. But, over time his love for Kurt had changed, became more of a competition. Or maybe it had always been that way, he didn’t know anymore. They had just warped, and they had figured out they weren't actually very good with each other. Too many fights over nothing, and both of them kept reaching for control and neither one of them were willing to relent. Plus, most days it seemed Kurt wanted a trophy, someone he could show off not someone that could show himself off. And Blaine had spent all of his time trying to be the thing Kurt so desperately wanted and in the end, it hadn’t worked. Kurt was still annoyed with him and Blaine was still exhausted with it. So their relationship had left them both with a bitter taste. However, loving Sebastian felt different and being with Sebastian… it was like breathing. And the thought of not being with him felt a lot like suffocating.

It scared the fuck out of him how hard and fast falling in love with Sebastian Smythe had happened to him. One second he’s smitten and has butterflies that refuse to calm and the next he’s struck with a sure and bone deep feeling that Sebastian was it for him. He was so damn sure of it. Like fate and the universe and maybe even god were screaming it at him and yeah, he was only just seventeen but it felt real and desperate and extraordinary... but he was so afraid to mess up what they had. Afraid that if he asked for a label or spoke the feverish feelings he had for him out loud or too soon that Seb, wild and beautiful and free Seb, would just run away, slipping through Blaine’s fingers and he’d never get him back.

Their exclusiveness was unspoken- Blaine had stopped appeasing Kurt’s sporadic flirty texts and Seb had stopped going to Scandals, he only bothered with his phone when his mom called and he facetimed Blaine almost nightly before going to sleep- just to talk about nothing. They were together, he knew that. And he knew Seb felt something. The other boy looked at him like he was someone important, someone he’d be crushed to live without. But Blaine didn’t dare chance asking what that something was. Instead he kept his I love you close to his heart and called Sebastian his in his head even though he wanted nothing more than to tell him. To see if he’d smile that smile and maybe kiss him before maybe saying it back. The thought was incredible and Blaine was lost in it for a moment...

The ring of the doorbell pulled him from his whirlwind thoughts, and he could hear Sebastian greeting his mom- Imelda’s girlish giggle bringing a soft smile to Blaine’s lips. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping he could get through the night without spewing poetry of love and devotion at Sebastian.

“God, get your shit together, Anderson. Don’t scare him away.”

He sighed and stood up before making his way down stairs, his face breaking into a smile as his tiny mother and his tall Sebastian came into view. “I hope you’re not giving Seb too much grief about curfew, mom. It’s Midnight tonight, right? I mean, it’s Friday after all.” He teased, knowing it was still an eleven pm curfew for him. His mom surprised him though, glancing between him and Seb before shrugging. “Maybe I’ll be asleep and won't notice.” She kissed Blaine’s forehead, making him blush. She gave him a pointed look that said no later than Midnight and gave Seb’s shoulder a squeeze before breezily making her way to the kitchen.

Blaine turned to Seb, smiling up at him before shyly tip toeing up for a hello kiss that said so much more than hello.

“Hey you. So, where to today? Any hints?”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian had never pictured this for himself. Okay, okay...yeah, sure he was only 16 and had his whole life ahead of him. He still never thought he’d have romantic gestures or somebody that treated him like a gentleman. When Seb pictured his future it was all business and school and Paris and him doing whatever he wanted even if he secretly craved romance and closeness beyond anything physical. Summer had changed things, though. He and Blaine had sort of fell together in such an easy way that it couldn’t be explained or replicated. September was full of dinner dates and kissing under porch lights and sharing jackets and hoodies. They were inseparable and Sebastian wouldn’t change a thing and he knew that was so fucking corny. It was true, though. His future seemed different now, he was different now. He didn’t miss partying at Scandal’s or sneaking out and he blocked numbers in his phone that he didn’t need anymore.

It was the week after Blaine’s birthday and it was their turn to celebrate together. Sebastian had learned that Blaine loved seasons and had experienced first hand how good he was at baking and cooking and had watched him hum to himself as he made various things for Sebastian to try. Sabine had grown used to Seb’s requests to have the kitchen to themselves and she had once again relented. He had planned to take Blaine to an orchard to pick apples and do other various autumnal things that he’d swoon over before they came back to bake apple pies. Sebastian tried researching pie ingredients but just confused himself. He was far from a natural in the kitchen. He asked their cook to write down the components for him in detail before he took the list to a grocery store and bought all of the various things needed to make a pie from scratch. He even grabbed a box of sugar cookies shaped like pumpkins and fall leaves and a pumpkin spice latte scented candle as an extra little gift.

Sebastian dressed in crisp, new jeans paired with his black converse and a Dalton Lacrosse fleece over a green and blue striped tee shirt. He sprayed some cologne (probably a little too much) and stole a cigarette from his mother’s pocketbook before leaving with his new (birthday gift) car. He smoked the cigarette and blared the radio as cold fall air rushed through the windows. Sebastian was excited to see Blaine’s face when he told him what they’d be doing that afternoon.

He parked his car in the Anderson’s driveway and rang their doorbell. Sebastian greeted Blaine’s mother with a gentle handshake. “Hey Mrs. Anderson. You look wonderful today.” She was a petite woman with big gold eyes that matched her son’s and a pretty smile. She patted Sebastian’s arm and giggled. Suddenly, Blaine was making his way down the stairs and Seb’s stomach did a little flip. After Imelda left the two of them in the foyer, Seb leaned down to meet Blaine half way for the small kiss that gave him a shock all the way to his toes. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to kissing the other boy.

“We’re going to an orchard. I thought that we could pick apples and then go back to my place to make pies. I’ll even try to help, if you want me to.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine reluctantly pulled away after their kiss, if he had it his way he’d have stolen a few more before they left. He truly could never get enough of Seb’s lips on his. Besides, Seb smelled so good it was dizzying. There was a faint lingering scent of cigarette smoke in Sebastian's kiss that just did something to Blaine, and he knew he should hate it, it was bad for Seb after all, but the taste and the rebellion of it all excited him in a way that would have embarrassed him if anyone else were to see. He wondered if Sebastian had stolen it from his mother again. He’d laughed at Blaine’s scandalized face when he’d confessed his bad habit, an easy sound that made Blaine feel giddy. The lingering smoke mixed with the strong cologne Sebastian favored left Blaine hoping the concoction of scents would rub off onto his clothing so he could hold onto the day later on. He pressed himself into Seb’s side, his arm slipping around his waist as they made their way to the car, his face turned up to Sebastian’s to listen to his words.

His stomach gave a little flip at the plans Seb had for them, that overwhelming first big drop of a roller coaster feeling and it all made Blaine smile so wide that his face hurt. It was like Sebastian had known him for years. Knew that he strived when he got to do the things he loved and had people in his corner while doing them. Sebastian, who he’d spent such a short time with, knew that Blaine loved to perform and sing and play and loved to cook and struggled at reeling himself in when he was caught up in his passions. It made Blaine want to blurt his feelings right there.

Sometime after transferring to McKinley… for Kurt. Kurt had started to resent him, or maybe he had always been that way with him. He could remember all the eye rolls over his impromptu performances at Dalton. How annoyed Kurt would get. And how Kurt had stopped caring when he did well, made Blaine feel like maybe he shouldn’t do well. This was the Kurt that would complain when Blaine would cook for him or roll his eyes when set up picnics for them in parks. He could still hear the ringing of Kurt's words in his ear; I used to get solos every week. And do you know how many times I've had to sit on a stool and watch you perform? Or the time Kurt had actually spit the cookies out that Blaine had spent hours perfecting because they were too sweet. Blaine knew he wasn’t perfect, but it always hurt. He didn’t need to be praised, he didn’t need to be told that he was amazing or have his ego stroked when he did well. He just wanted his boyfriend in his corner, wanted to impress him the way he did when they first met and as time went on Blaine wasn’t sure how to do that anymore. Things he felt passionate about had started to feel like taboo or things that might trigger Kurt and cooking became one of those things along with singing and performing and playing...

But with Sebastian… with Sebastian he felt everything so much. Here was this boy who showed up to every single show he did even though the kids at McKinley treated him like he was the same old bully, and he’d clap and smile like he’d never seen anything better. Sebastian who ate every single thing Blaine made for him as if it were the best thing in the world and made Blaine believe it, too. The boy who loved going on late drives and blasting bad pop music and who didn’t try to bend him into the shape of Blaine he wanted. Seb just wanted Blaine to be what he was and Blaine was so floored by it. He didn’t know it could be this way, that you could just be with someone. That you could compliment each other without venom.

“That’s so freaking sweet, Seb.” He stopped at the passenger door to Seb’s new, and incredibly expensive car, and turned before getting in so he could pull Sebastian to him, wrapping his arms around his waist so that their bodies were perfectly pressed together. He tilted his head back and tipped up for another kiss, letting this one linger for a little bit longer as a thank you. He smiled as he pulled back, his tone teasing. “Maybe I’ll let you cut the apples up for me.” He winked and got into the car. He’d let Sebastian do whatever he wanted as long as he kept looking at Blaine the way he was right now. Even if it meant ruining a perfectly good pie.

The whole ride there Blaine couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot. Every song that came through the speakers seemed to be written just for them in some way shape or form. Sebastian, who was used to sitting in the passenger seat, had even mastered the art of holding Blaine’s hand or knee while he drove. It even seemed as if the Autumn leaves were falling in glorious shades of reds and yellows and oranges as they drove through them. The cascade of color guided them to their destination, and as they walked up to the little shop to get their baskets for apples he couldn’t help but notice how good they looked together. Sebastian in his fleece and converse, his light brown hair perfectly swooped, looking soft and touchable and holding hands with Blaine in his dark yellow cardigan with fashionable brown and blue patches in the elbows covering a fitted dark red shirt and cuffed dark jeans, ankles exposed and showcasing his dark brown top siders. They looked like they fit together and Blaine just wanted to tell everyone that looked their way, that yes, they were in fact, together.

“We should get a bunch of this kind to make a sweet apple crumble pie and then go find the granny smiths so that we can make a caramel apple pie. You know, like the caramel apples they sell here? The tartness of the granny smith will pair so well with the sweetness of the caramel.” He grinned up at Seb, excitement in his voice as he looked around at the different shapes and shades of apples. His basket was looped in the crook of his elbow, and he was holding up a giant bright red orange Honey crisp apple in his free hand.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian watched Blaine walk through the apple trees and thought to himself that he looked fucking perfect. He nodded along as Blaine talked about the pies and wondered if he had bought any caramel. He didn’t think he had so he sent a quick, sneaky text to his Mom to see about acquiring some. “Those sound great.”

He laughed as Blaine clutched the apple in front of his face. “You look like Snow White.” Sebastian cocked his head and smiled, “I mean that in the best way of course. Like a prince.” He swiped the apple from the other’s hands and took a big bite of it before leaning in and stealing a kiss. “Let’s go pick some apples.”

The afternoon was spent with Sebastian reaching apples that Blaine couldn’t, tripping over rotten apples on the ground, and lots of laughing and kissing in between the rows of trees. They picked way too many and Blaine fretted over the price but Seb just waved him off and said he could take the extras home to his mom. He bought them a large apple cider slushie to share, biscuits covered in gooey apple butter, and apple dumplings with lots of cinnamon and vanilla ice cream. Sebastian encouraged Blaine to pick out some fudge as a part of his gift and bought them hot apple ciders for the ride home.

“When we get back I thought that we could watch a scary movie. After the baking, of course.” Sebastian squeezed Blaine’s knee and watched the road. “I mean, I know they’re one of your favorites.” It wasn’t a totally selfless act. He hated scary movies and scary things in general but he wanted to get close to the other boy on the couch. Seb thought that maybe Blaine would wrap his arm around him or pull him close since he knew that he got scared easily.

Sebastian mostly stayed out of the way in the kitchen. He did cut a few apples but they were so uneven that he couldn’t stand it (Blaine was fine with it but Seb was a bit of a perfectionist at times.) He did however score some caramel. Sabine had sent their housekeeper out and she had bought about five different types. “You can take all of the extra ingredients, if you want. You know I’ll never use them again. This shit is like mad science.” Seb was, however, an excellent taste tester and got to lick every spoon and have the first bite of the fresh pies at the other boy’s insistence. He put a red birthday candle in a slice for Blaine and sang him happy birthday. “Make a wish, B. Don’t wish for me because you have me already.” He winked and watched Blaine’s eyes crinkle with laughter in the dim candle light.

After they cleaned up their mess the two of them made their way to the basement. They usually found themselves down there. They’d made out on the couch a few times but it always got cut short by curfew or a rehearsal that needed to be attended. Seb had timed everything out pretty perfectly today so they would have plenty of alone time. He handed Blaine the remote and told him he could pick any scary movie on Netflix before he stretched out his long legs on the couch and patted the spot behind him.

“Come on, birthday boy. Just pick one!”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s lips were still sticky with taste from the apple and kiss Sebastian had stolen from him. They were still curved into a smile as the two of them made their way around the colorful orchard of red, green and purple apples, pumpkins of various shades or brilliant oranges and greens on either side of them as they ate too many sweets and Sebastian bought him too many apples. His cheeks hurt from their laughter and his body was still tingling from each kiss. He was still blushing from Seb’s compliment, his cheeks heated in the October chill as they drove home, hot apple cider warming them up. It was like Blaine’s very own Rom-Com, something Sebastian secretly loved but would never admit to anyone but him and maybe his own mom. Blaine never wanted the credits to roll.

Sebastian really and truly was terrible in the kitchen, he didn’t know what things were called, he cut crooked and spilled sugar and caramel all over the place but Blaine didn’t complain, he absolutely loved having him there. Loved that the green eyed man would steal slices of apples and would make little noises that boarded on pornographic every time Blaine made him take a bite. His stomach hurt from giggling and he couldn’t keep a straight face every time he said “Stooop, Seb.” Because he didn’t want him to and Seb’s mischievous face made Blaine feel dizzy every time it was shot his way.

Not only had Blaine made four very expensive pies, Blaine had convinced Sebastian to keep one because why shouldn’t he? He had helped after all. He could share it with his mom and maybe even his father if he felt like it- Sebastian had also gotten him a candle that smelled like someone had bottled Autumn up and the cutest little leaf sugar cookies. It was no secret that Blaine loved sugar cookies of all shapes and sized and these had come from his favorite bakery. He also ended up with a bunch of pricey ingredients that Blaine already had Thanksgiving plans for. (Blaine’s mom had been encouraging him to invite Seb to the holiday dinner but Blaine had been too nervous so far. He had a whole month to work up the courage though.) Blaine’s body was buzzing with sugar and attraction and he felt like he may never sleep again.

His smile felt permanent as Sebastian sang to him in a silly voice that gave away nothing of the clean and pretty voice that Blaine had been privileged enough to her but, it made him laugh and Blaine could swear that the pie tasted even better with the red candle and song attached to it. He blushed for what had to have been the hundredth time when making his wish. Because he had, in fact, wished for Sebastian. He wished for him to be his always. To stay with him just like this, stupidly happy and hopeful. It was silly, and ridiculously romantic and high school relationships rarely worked, and they weren’t even voicing what they were out loud to each other, but he was over the moon with Seb and in love and god, Seventeen might just be his best year yet.

“If I told you what I wished for it wouldn’t come true and I really freaking want it to.”

He winked, trying to play it cool but inside he was bubbling with the words; Make a wish, B. Don’t wish for me because you have me already. It meant more to Blaine than Sebastian could possibly know, it told him he probably wasn’t alone in his feelings. “I’m yours, too you know.” He told Sebastian softly after they had cleaned up and made their way down the stairs. His stomach flipped when Seb pulled the basement door closed behind him. It was only 8:22 pm. Blaine had over three hours of alone time with Sebastian before he needed to leave. Seb’s mom and dad usually didn’t bother too much with them unless it got too late or Blaine’s mom called to check in on them or to remind them they had a practice to get to, but they had nothing but a midnight curfew tonight. Blaine’s mind was going crazy with what ifs as he toed his shoes off and placed them neatly against the wall and then shrugged his cardigan off and placed it nicely over the back of one of the chairs.

“Are you sure you want to watch a scary movie? Halloween is only two days away and you’ve already promised a spooky night then, you don’t have to torture yourself twice, you know.” He teased, taking the remote from Sebastian's fingers. “We could watch an Autumnal rom-com and call it night.” He laughed, smiling with the tip of his tongue between his teeth, flirting to hide his nerves. Seb seemed intent on watching something scary for him though and Blaine couldn’t be mad, he’d get the chance to hold him all the more when Seb got scared.

Basement didn’t seem to fit this room. It was huge and finished and could basically be a luxury apartment. There was a bar and a living area and a bathroom and a game area that rarely seemed used. Seb had turned off the lights leaving them with just the glow of the big screen. It was dark and intimate and Blaine hoped he didn’t mess up as he grinned at the other boy before climbing over Sebastian’s body and pressing himself between the back of the soft, wide couch and Sebastian’s lithe body. How many times have they made out down here, their hands all over each other's arms and neck and fingers pressing into hips and tangled in hair and jawlines? Usually there was more light on and they had less time, but they had so much right now. He licked his lips as he snuggled into Seb’s back, propping himself up with his free arm so that he could see the television properly as he tried to focus on the movies. He settled on Scream.

“This film has a really badass final girl and the boys, though dumb, aren’t hard to look at either. Plus, it’s not so scary that you'll be calling me at two in the morning because you can’t sleep. Not that I’d mind.” He grinned and kissed Seb’s cheek before reaching up to lie the remote down on the end table. The tips of his bare toes were tangled up in Seb’s socked feet and Blaine smiled to himself as he pressed even closer. Sliding his arm around Sebastian’s waist when the other boy tensed up at the visual of Ghost Face chasing a screaming Casey around. And somewhere between the death of Steve and the loss of Sid’s virginity to that idiot Billy, Blaine found himself watching the veins in Seb’s neck move each time he got scared more than the movie.

He bit his lip, wondering if Seb had thought about maybe taking things further than kissing and while Blaine totally didn’t need that, he was insanely happy with kissing Sebastian Smythe breathless- yet he still found himself moving forward until his nose was nuzzling into Seb’s hairline and then he was pressing a kiss to the back of his freckle dusted neck, tentatively at first asking for consent, and then kissing from the back of his neck and down the side and along the long expanse of it, stopping the suck gently where his neck met his shoulder when Seb gave it by turning his head so Blaine could do it better. Blaine could feel the other’s heartbeat in his lips. Sebastian tasted like a crisp Autumn day and apples and Blaine let out a little noise of pleasure, his fingers tightening in Sebastian’s shirt where he was holding him close, knuckles pressing against Seb’s stomach, their bodies lined perfectly together, his excitement too evident.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian’s lack of horror movie knowledge might have been embarrassing if he cared. Sometimes Hunter gave him shit about how he never understood certain movie references or how easily he jumped at simple scares. He’d act all tough before whatever movie Hunter picked began and then wince at the first loud noise. Sebastian had never watched Scream and that fucking mask was sort of creepy but it was Blaine’s birthday so he just nodded and encouraged him to turn it on.

He felt a flip in his stomach when Blaine crawled over him to cuddle up against his back. This was a good sign. Sebastian had been daydreaming about taking the next step with Blaine for weeks. He didn’t want to pressure him or make a fool out of himself or prove the rumors that Santana had started about him at McKinley were true. Sure, there was some truth to the problematic shit the New Directions said and Seb acted like he didn’t care but it wasn’t like that with Blaine. He didn’t need his stupid friends pointing fingers at what they had when what they had was so perfect and all he wanted to do was keep it safe. All of that being said, they seemed to fall on the same page like usual.

Sebastian tried to focus on the movie and the attractive cast but could feel Blaine’s breath against his neck (which was a very sensitive area for him) and could feel his strong body pressed close against him. Even the scares were dwindled a little bit with how distracted his mind and body felt.

He swallowed and squirmed a little when he felt the other’s lips against the back of his neck. There was no way Sebastian would ever be able to focus now. Blaine’s lips were on his skin, his hand knotted in his tee shirt and his breath ghosted along his hot skin. Seb’s neck fell back naturally as if they had done this a million times and he sighed. He could feel Blaine through their jeans and his pulse jumped, his hands felt shaky and everything felt brand new and real. Sebastian turned his head, “kiss me.” He wanted to taste Blaine’s lips, he knew they’d taste like sugar and the cherry chapstick that drove Seb crazy. Sebastian put his free hand on the other’s jaw and looked into his eyes washed in the blue glow of the tv.

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine tried his hardest to keep himself from getting too eager at Sebastian’s words, but his skin was buzzing and he was full of want and a desperate need to be as close as possible to his person. He let out a slow breath, sliding the arm that he was propping his head up with down and under Sebastian's head, cradling it in the crook and moving Seb’s body so he was on his back. He was so thankful the couch cushions were deep and they both fit perfectly. His eyes roamed over Seb’s face, taking in the perfect slope of his nose and front teeth visible between parted lips before settling on Seb’s eyes, the blue of the television making them look like the sea meeting a blue sky and his breath caught as he was once again struck with how damn attractive Sebastian was. He licked his lips, wanting to show Sebastian how much all of this meant to him. Make sure that the other boy knew that no matter what happened he’d still be head over heels for him in the morning.

He leaned down and pressed his lips against Seb’s and his eyes fell shut as his tongue traced the line of his lips before slipping past teeth to tangle with Seb’s. His fingers that were tangled up in Seb’s shirt moved to slowly slide just underneath it, his callused fingertips caressing Seb’s sensitive skin just below his belly button. His breathing was shallow as he pulled back and turned his body so he was lying on Seb’s hip, his top leg hooking over Seb’s leg that was closest to him. They were so close, so perfectly lined up that Blaine was struggling to keep his cool. All he had to do was scoot just a bit more and he’d be fully on top of him. His heart fluttered at the thought, but he held himself in place, he didn’t need to go that far tonight, they had plenty of time for that, forever if Blaine had it his way. What Blaine really wanted to do was touch him, wanted to make Sebastian squirm under his fingers. He wanted to make it so that the other boy forgot about anyone else that came before him. Seb had told him a few stories, the fun ones along with the bad times he’d had. He knew about the Lacrosse boy and Scandals with older men he’d met and how he’d had a scare with one of them before and Blaine wanted to show him it didn’t have to be like that. That sex, of any kind, didn’t need to be fast or uncomfortable or awkward. He wanted to make him feel good and wanted and safe.

“Can I, um-touch you?” He asked, his lips close to Seb’s ear, stumbling in his nervousness and his desire to make this perfect. He could feel as much as hear the word Please breathed against his neck sending shivers down his spine as Seb pushed his hips against Blaine’s crooked knee. He pulled back so he could look at Seb in the blue glow as his fingers, shaky and nervous, inched from his belly to the button on his jeans and then the zipper was down and then the fabric was pushed down and away and there was nothing between them as Blaine wrapped his fingers around Seb and leaned down, kissingkissingkissingtouching until Sebastian was squirming and gasping into his mouth and Blaine was pressing himself into Sebastian’s side for the friction and the world warped and blurred when the other boy purred his name and held onto Blaine as Seb fell apart like putty in his hands.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian knew that the moment may have seemed simple compared to some of the things he had gotten up to in the past. None of that shit would ever compare because this was Blaine, Blaine who paid attention and asked permission and who kissed him with his eyes closed. Blaine, who Sebastian actually wanted to kiss and hold hands with and go on dates with. He would trade all of his messy nights for this one moment with Blaine’s strong hands on his skin, his lips all over his neck and lips and his little moans and gasps.

Seb sighed and squirmed underneath Blaine. His hands were in his hair and it was totally going to be sticking up at random angles when this was over. He could feel him pressed into his side and that paired with his hand and his kisses was all it took for Sebastian to unravel underneath the other boy.

The two of them held on to each other, all ragged breaths and desperate touches as they clung together. Sebastian leaned in for one last, deep kiss before he pulled away with a toothy smile. He laughed and shivered, his body still reeling from the moment. “Can I…?” Sebastian placed his hand over the other’s zipper to ask permission before he crawled in between his legs and slid down his body.

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s lips were swollen with kisses and he was achy with so much desire caused by everything Sebastian and the way he had fallen apart under his fingers. The vision was beautiful and he’d pretty much forgotten about himself until Seb was grinning his imperfectly perfect smile, his teeth on full display and asking with a breathy laugh and then moving himself down and down and down and Blaine was breathing pleases into the air as screams from a forgotten horror movie played in the background. His fingers kneading and then pushing at Sebastian’s shoulders and hair, tousled in their touches, trying to warn him that he was falling, but Seb was relentless and Blaine fell so hard he saw the stars.

His hands were shaky when he pulled Sebastian up to him for another kiss, grasping at him to keep him close as if he’d fade away and Blaine would never find him again no matter how hard he looked. And for a terrifying split second, as Blaine looked up into Sebastian’s green blue hues the words were there iloveyou and they almost slipped right past his teeth and lips and into Sebastian’s ears. His breath hitched and his words thankfully stumbled because how naive did you have to bed to tell someone you loved them right after sex just because you felt close them? He knew what he felt but he also knew how bad that would go and everything was so damn perfect right now. So his bit his lip and stole another kiss, his hands cupping Sebastian’s face gently, like he might break if he moved too fast.

“I guess we missed the movie.” He said it as if it actually mattered and let out a sudden laugh, his face so hot he wondered if Sebastian could feel the heat radiating off of him. He let his arms slide from Seb’s face and down to his waist and turned them so that they were once again facing each other. He ducked his head, feeling the shyest he’d ever felt as he nuzzled into Sebastian's neck.

“I- that was amazing.”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and laughed. His skin felt hot and he could tell that he was covered in goosebumps because every time Blaine touched him he felt overexposed and sensitive in a really good way. It felt like electricity sparking under his skin or like a whoosh of chilly winter air and it made his stomach jump and his voice catch in his throat.

“We can watch it again someday, I mean...if we don’t get distracted.” He closed the space between them and stole a kiss before he nuzzled into the other’s neck for a moment. “It was. Are you happy?” Sebastian kept his face hidden for a moment, his cheeks red at the sudden vulnerability.

“This is great but um, I really need to change.” He bit his lip to stifle his laugh. “Come upstairs with me. You should probably clean up,too. We’ll use my bathroom.” The two of them made their way upstairs, giggling and poking each other and tripping over themselves as Sebastian shushed them only to laugh some more. He pulled Blaine into his bedroom and quietly shut the door. He pointed at the bathroom in the corner of his room so that Blaine could tidy himself up a bit as he changed his pants. Seb felt giddy and satisfied as he pulled on a grey pair of sweatpants and changed into a white and green quarter length sleeve baseball tee. He glanced at the alarm clock on his bedside table and felt a surge of sadness because Blaine needed to be home soon which meant they probably needed to head to the car. Sebastian wished Blaine could just stay the night and that they could climb into his bed and cling together and fall asleep laughing and kissing and sighing.

“We should probably head out soon.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine tried not to laugh but the sound slipped out and he shook his head, “Something tells me we’d end up getting distracted, I’ll tell you all about it if you wanna know how it ends one day.” He let his arms rest gently over Sebastian as the other boy snuggled into him, hiding his face like he was suddenly the shy one. He wanted to laugh and tell Sebastian that he was the happiest he’d ever been in his life. Wanted to tell him about the crazy fast rush of feelings he was experiencing over him. But, he bit his bottom lip instead and smiled, his eyes wide and honest as he nodded eagerly in response. He blushed, looking down between them and he was so grateful that he had a cardigan to put on over his shirt.

“I guess you’re right.” He mumbled, his blush coming back full force at the thought of why they needed to clean up, before standing on wobbly legs. He picked up his shoes and his cardigan and followed Seb up the steps and into the main floor of the quiet house. The giggles and teasing felt good and cooled his blushing for a moment. Sebastian’s lightness and giggles were contagious and made him feel giddy and alive. When he came out of the bathroom he had to look away for a moment, Sebastian looked so damn good standing there in those damn sweats and all Blaine wanted to do was see if the bed was as comfortable as it looked and maybe pull Sebastian down with him and kiss him until they fell asleep. And he knew they needed to leave if they wanted to get him home on time but he wanted one more kiss, one more little memory to add to the night. He licked his lips and stepped closer to Sebastian and slid his arm around his waist, pulling him close, his head tilted back and his face open, his free hand snaking up to rest at the back of Seb’s neck to pull him close.

“Okay.” His voice was soft, because he knew Seb was right. “Just one more minute...” And he kissed him good and slow for a few more minutes, his heart thumping in his chest with a happiness he wanted to keep forever.

By the time they left the Smythe’s, pie and candle and left over cookies in hand, Blaine’s stomach was in knots because he didn’t want to go. He wanted to curl up next to Sebastian in his big blue bed and press a kiss to the back of his neck before falling asleep. He was actually a little sad about it and as they pulled up in front of his dark house he hoped that Seb wasn’t reading it as if he were sad to be there with him. It was very much the opposite. He turned in his seat, his eyes scanning over Seb’s face, “This was like, the best birthday ever, Seb.” He smiled, his thumb brushing gently over Sebastian’s, not wanting the night to end but knowing he had less than ten minutes to get into his house before Imelda Anderson went from the sweetest woman ever to grounding him with the most disappointed look on her face. She had given him an extra hour, he didn’t want to disappoint her, but he wanted to make it clear to Sebastian that he meant something to him. (without pouring his heart out like an idiot) He cleared his throat before taking a deep breath, his smile shy like they hadn’t just been incredibly intimate with each other. His voice soft as he spoke.

“I really am happy, Seb. Are you?”

Sebastian’s POV:

“I’m glad you had a good day.” Sebastian lifted Blaine’s hand that he had been holding and kissed his fingers. “I am, B. Promise.” He leaned forward and gave him a small kiss before they had to exit the car. Sebastian didn’t want Blaine to be late. He helped him carry his various items to his front door and kissed him goodnight one last time. “Get inside. I can’t have Mrs. Anderson mad at me.” Sebastian ruffled Blaine’s disheveled hair and winked as he walked backwards off of the front porch.

The ride home was spent hardly paying attention to the music that was playing but replaying the events of the day over and over again. The orchard, the pies, the kissing and touching. Blaine had even been in his room for the first time which gave him a little thrill. He had never had anybody (besides Hunter or like, the housekeeper) in there. Blaine had held his face and kissed him slowly and he could have melted into the floor, or even better, fallen into the bed with him.

Sebastian had promised to text when he got home safely. He sent three blue heart emojis from his driveway and smiled when the other boy responded quickly with three red ones. He sat and thought in his car for a few minutes and couldn’t help but find his mind thinking about everything that the future had in store for them. Halloween and Thanksgiving and all of the dates in between. Sneaking into the basement to kiss and inviting Blaine into his room, never finishing a movie ever again, dinner dates and maybe even school dances.

He was so damn happy.

/fin.

#Mini Para: September/October Flashback #seblaine #twoblueheartslocked #colorsicantsee #seblaine para #seblaine canon divergence #mini para

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vieuxnoyesrp · 7 years ago

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Chris. We went so long without our Most-Wanted character over the last few months that we were beginning to wonder whether we had to conduct a mini Harvest Ritual ourselves in order to draw her into our group. Luckily, you beat us to the chase and answered our appeals to the ancestors in the form of an app that nailed all of our (fairly strenuous) expectations for Sophie’s role. You had a really good grasp of her single-minded state of obsession with respect to completing the Harvest Ritual, and did a great job portraying how it affects her day-to-day existence; right down to the smallest details. You chose a unique moment for your sample para, and we loved seeing how some of Sophie’s characteristics remained the same (although on a much lighter note) before the bleak turn her life took over the last year. We can’t wait to have this firebrand on the dash!

Chris, thank you very much for applying. As for Sophie…

⚜ ~ WELCOME TO VIEUX NOYÉS!!! ~ ⚜

Wondering what to do next? Click here and let the good times roll!

⚜ Roleplayer:

⤜ Name/alias: Chris ⤜ Pronouns: She/Her ⤜ Age: 20 ⤜ Timezone: EST ⤜ Activity: 6-7 because adulting and real world stuff. If I let replies build up too much I get overwhelmed and sort of ignore them, so I try to do replies fairly often so that doesn’t happen! ⤜ Best form of contact: Tumblr is fine for now. ⤜ Any Triggers? Nope. ⤜ How did you find Vieux Noyés? It was recommended to me some time ago. I’ve also seen it in the tags a few times. ⤜ What drew you to the RP? The amount of detail and the overall aesthetic. I think it’s very clever the way you managed to tie the shows and book series together so it all comes together cohesively. I like the little changes you’ve made to bios to make them fit into this new world of yours, and I can tell a lot of thought went into making the rp a reality. ⤜ What is one subplot/element from the Plot page that you are particularly looking forward to seeing in this roleplay? I am surprisingly intrigued by the Hunters and the lost Relic they apparently have. In the plot it sounds as if the Hunters have grown idle and complacent but that they’re trying to build the Guild back up to it’s original splendor. I personally, am very excited to see that in motion. Plus who doesn’t want to see some Hunters fuck shit up with ‘magically-imbued objects’.

And because I am the most rebel to ever rebel, i’m also putting that I am super psyched to see how the Harvest goes. Does it get completed? If so, how? Or do the Salem witches actually end up converting the New Orleans witches? I have a million and one questions about what’s going to happen and cannot wait to see that come to fruition.

⚜ Desired Character: Sophie Deveraux

⤜ Why do you want this character?

I paid this character very little mind the first time I watched the Originals and what a mistake that was. There’s big talk concerning her but very little action to support it. Sophie deserves to be built up, she deserves to be developed and the t.v. show (unsurprisingly) did her a great injustice. It’s mentioned that she’ll fight to the death for her niece Monique, but we get to see very little of that fierce determination to do whatever it takes for her family. Simply put, I see a lot of potential in Sophie and want to bring her to life the way she deserves.

⤜ What are your future plans for this character?

Honestly I have none at this moment - but here me out! Sophie herself has no plans for the future. She’s set herself a task, one task, and in her mind nothing else really matters after that. She saves Monique and then? She’s not thinking about what comes after the Harvest and the Reaping, she’s got a one track mind and I honestly doubt she even expects to come out of this whole thing alive. I have to say though, I would love to put her in scenarios where she’s forced to think about the future because it’s going to be something we’ll both have to think quite a lot about.

⤜ Put yourself in your character’s shoes. Give us a few lines to describe a day in the life of your character… Where do they live? Where and how do they spend their time?

She wakes up every morning in her family home, the purple and brown accented walls of her bedroom a stark contrast to the painfully boring and sterile white ones that coated the rest of the house. Her parents had left the place to Jane-Anne but her sister had never been one to turn Sophie away when she needed somewhere to stay, and had even left the room untouched as Sophie traveled the world. ( Now that Jane-Anne was dead, the place was technically hers but she couldn’t get used to referring to it anything but Jane’s place. )

She begins the day with a cup of sugary sweet coffee to wake herself up - late to bed and early to rise makes for a very disgruntled Sophie in the morning - before moving onto something harsh and bitter as reality hits her. The rest of the day continues on as normal lest she rouse any suspicion. She hangs around the Witches for awhile, the ones that don’t openly scoff at her, plotting away and reminding them of the deadline. When they tire of her rants, depending on her mood she either heads to Cafe Du Monde for another coffee and to brainstorm alone in peace or to Rousseau’s to have a drink and drown her sorrows for a time. Her daily routine switches up every so often, whenever she has a lead she latches on like a bloodhound and refuses to let up no matter where it takes her. Until recently she’s come up with nada, but with all sorts of trouble brewing in the quarter, she’s sure more than one opportunity to get intel will arise - who’d have thought that more vampires coming to the quarter would be convenient?

⤜ Give us three headcanons regarding your character of choice.

She switches often between being impotently drunk and bone-dry sober. Gone are the party girl ways of past and instead she’s taken to more mature, fitting ways of drinking; when you find a drunk Sophie, you’ll find her lost in thought with a mostly-polished off bottle of whisky.

Finished one semester at Delgado Community College.

When it comes to bloodshed or anything gruesome, her tolerance of it is much more similar to that of a human’s. It’s not that she can’t stand the sight of blood, but before the failed harvest and Marcel’s subsequent reign of terror she hadn’t seen much carnage or gore. She isn’t used to seeing someone’s innards being pulled from their stomach - and she isn’t sure she ever wants to be.

She has only let herself cry over Monique one time and has yet to to even visit her body. Since her promise to Jane-Anne to bring back her niece, Sophie is in almost complete denial that she won’t be able to keep that promise. She is angry, bitter, determined - she has nothing to lose and everything to gain so how could she possibly lose?

She had a pet bird when she was a girl. It was hers, but of course Jane-Anne did most of the work taking care of it while she taught it things like how to whistle a tune. They’d had it for only half a year but both sisters grew extremely attached to it as any child does a pet, but one day they came home from school to an empty cage. “Forget the bird”, their parents had told them. Her sister always the obedient one, agreed, but Sophie never had been good with taking orders. After only a few minutes of snooping she found it dead in her parent’s room surrounded by salt and plants she didn’t yet know the name of. She was young, but even she recognized sacrificial magic when she saw it. Jane refused to reply when Sophie told her but her silence spoke a thousand words - she already knew. Sophie promised then and there never to practice magic again, a promise she’d break only weeks later, and would forget the whole ordeal as time went on.

⤜ What are some plots you’d like to explore with your character?

Well obviously i’d love to explore any and all connections of hers; and even connections not listed in her bio, particularly Sophie and Davina. Her niece is best friends with Davina and now Sophie is trying to kill her. They had to have known each other before the Harvest, so not only is Sophie hunting down an innocent girl, but her niece’s best friend. It’s kind of ironic that both of these girl loved Monique and now they and their disbelief in the Harvest play a part in her death.

The cult of Bracken: The coven is supposedly in NOLA to integrate witches to their coven but Sophie isn’t interested. She needs her Coven to hold it together long enough to finish what they started; in other words she ain’t buying what they’re selling and she doesn’t appreciate the Salem witches picking at what remains of her Coven either. She can appreciate the fact that they would be able to actually fight back against Marcel and his vampires but should they stop practicing ancestral magic they’d have no need to finish the Harvest and Sophie would lose the few allies she has.

⤜ Para sample:

(Retained for privacy).

⤜ Would you like to be considered for another character if not accepted as your primary choice? Kali or Rogan please!

⤜ Have you read the rules?: Yes I have.

⤜ Anything else? Nope!

#tvd rpg #Sophie Deveraux #Sophie Deveraux RP #Daniella Pineda #Daniella Pineda FC #Accepted

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hotcocosharing · 7 years ago

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Second Chance Part 14 (IM RP)

Shunichiro Tachibana

I never mean for it to happen. Actually, I’ve done everything in my power to prevent myself from this exact situation however going to her place would be worst. At least, I will be no where near this comfortable in lying on someone’s bed or start a feast without waiting.

With chips in my mouth and a bottle of coke in hand, I almost cry in joy. “God, I feel alive again.” Midi giggles and snatches a handful of fries into her mouth, not very ladylike but neither of us care about formality anymore. Although I resist the urge to laugh, the biggest grin slowly crawling across my heated cheeks as I hand her the half burger.

After my saving grace of the best junk food, I flop back onto the hotel’s bed as the pills begin to get to me as well as my memory. The flu must be really bad since my mind have been playing tricks on me all day but I’m sick, gonna cut myself some slack here.

Letting out a long, slow sigh as I roll to a side and wonder if I should take my vest off but stripping anything more than my suit jacket maybe a misleading move, so I lay as still as a rock and have my eyes closed. Ignoring the hot and cold shivering within my aching body as a familiar scene plays in my head.

It was an anniversary trip, was it third or fourth anniversary, or possibly the fifth. I could not remember which year it was but that was a trip both of us couldn’t forget since it took forever for it to finally happened. Midi had been complaining for years (which she’s rightfully so) that my work was always in our way and as soon as a project came through I took leave and booked two tickets to Australia. Despite the first 20 minutes of yelling on the phone for almost costing her job and whinning of the unprepared packing, the girl could not hold her smirk all the way onto the flight.

The first few days were perfect, everywhere was lovely. With the right person by your side, anywhere was superb until I fell ill and stuck in bed for two whole days. Midi nursed me back to health and kept her sense of humor by putting on a nurse outfit (with nurse cap!) but the most vivid moment during that trip was the time I rested on her lap while she stroked my bangs with whatever movie was playing on tv.

Feeling the same kind of warmth wrap around me and the gentle touch through my hair, I vaguely murmur the same thing. “You’re the best you know that Midi….. I love you so much, you know that, right?”

Midori Katayani

Whether Shunichiro likes it or not, as soon as he’s on the bed, I’m quick to spot an empty space on the right - that was always my side- and crawl on getting comfortable in the gap it seems he’s almost left vacant for me or at least that’s my wishful thinking. I had been looking forward to tonight; from the networking through to the gossiping which happens all to regularly at functions such as this, the free drinks, the dressing to impress, the showing off of a date - the whole kit and caboodle. Right now though, I’m can’t quite contain how thrilled I am something so simple such as this is happening. It’s just like how it use to be, or it’s at least how I like to remember it being. A little bickering which always eventually turned into smiling in one way or another. Having my entire world trapped inside one person who was always by my side and next to me. I was happy, right now made me happy - even if Shun and I weren’t together emotionally or physically, simply having him around eased and completed me. I hadn’t felt this satisfied since the night I walked out three years ago - a night I’d regretted every single god darn day since. Reaching out to stroke his hair how I always did whether it was a concerning I’m taking care of you’ gesture or a sweet ‘good morning sleepy’ everything seemed to be just fine and dandy until a few uttered words I wasn’t expecting to hear shattered me into a million tiny pieces. “You’re the best you know that Midi….. I love you so much, you know that, right?” Was it the tablets I’d insisted he take? Was the food drugged that he just ate? Was it a slip of the tongue he was about to retract and tell me to forget? Was it honest or just a tactic to try get me into bed? Overwhelmed by the constant mixed messages he was not only receiving from me but also himself sending, I figured that now was better than never to make some kind of move. Shuffling closer across the bed to where Shun laid, I took the liberty of letting a gentle fingertip trace along the line of his jaw and draw softly onto his chest, eventually stopping at the first button which it met as resistance on his vest. The soft fabric under touch was incrediblt satisfying. Being this close, the overwhelming scent of his earthy, signature cologne was beginning to make my head spin. If he rejected what I was about to do, I could possibly, if my excuse was cunning enough blame it on, blame it on… fuck it. I didn’t waste time closing in. The kiss was soft; deliberately, just like a first kiss should be - I needed to define just how far he’d let me push this without causing a problem which could lead us further back than square one unfortunately. As much as I wanted this, not wanting to take control or advantage of situation that wasnt mutual in agreement, I broke the kiss, caught my breath and rolled away. “You need to rest so get some sleep”, I muttered quietly beneath my breath - throat burning dry, “If you still feel the same way we can talk about it in the morning.”

#shunichiro x oc #shunichiro tachibana #irresistible mistakes rp #Irresistible mistakes #irresistible mistakes shunichiro #irresistible mistakes role play #irresitible mistakes #voltage rp #voltage role play

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aileen-hollingsworth · 8 years ago

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What the wind brought ~ #10

A/N: Last challenge for me probably! There was a ‘who-knows-how-many’ part fic before this, but due to time I have to post this before. I’ll post the others later, however...and I’m pretty sure there will be one or two fics taking place after this...so not the last thing I’ll write lol, you ain’t getting rid of me yet. Something from Cole’s perspective might come, who knows. This takes place during Haiden’s birthday ball. Thanks @prince-consort-kile for the rp as @winter-havilliard and windy fam. Ft. Cole & his family. As always, apologies if this is horrible ;) (P.S. School sucks for writing)

I had only briefly chatted with one of the ex-selected…and now in Haiden’s birthday party I wondered if maybe I should have taken the opportunity to talk to more—just to see if I could hear any interesting stories—since I would probably leave the palace soon. I looked around to see if I could find the birthday boy, and noticed him talking with a dignitary. Fun stuff there. I almost considered coming in with an excuse to save him but couldn’t come up with anything sufficient.

You are my best friend, you know.

I smiled at the thought of Haiden’s words from a couple of nights back. I really hoped he would be happy and my gaze shifted across the room, wondering who would be the one. Even if he didn’t want to give me a name yet I was glad to know he was at least starting to like someone—whoever it was.

I was in the middle of pacing the room, thinking of talking to Mila or Naomi, when a rather unexpected companion approached me.

“Hello, darling, I’m Winter.”

“Oh…” I tried to smile, doing a curtsy without seeming surprised “A pleasure to finally meet you Princess Winter.”

“So, I've seen you've met some of my children.”

That’s a weird question. “Yes...Cole and Autumn so far. Autumn is quite energetic, but very sweet.”

“She's definitely a lot. That girl's going to rule the world one day, I'm sure.” She laughed at the thought and I joined her before she added, “What about Cole?”

“Well, he's not the sweetest guy out there” I smirked with an eye roll “or that's what he pretends.”

“Not the sweetest?” the princess seemed slightly bothered by the news “Don't mind him. He's just hopped up on that teenage angst.”

I laughed again. “That's probably true. He's not that bad once you get to know him.”

“Give him a few months. He'll turn 20 and leave it all behind. I like to think I've gotten to know him pretty well. I did birth him.”

“Oh, that does seem to make you a very reliable source. Personally, I've convinced myself he just likes scaring off people with that unreadable expression of his to avoid conversing. Guess it didn't work for him this time.” Gladly.

She chuckled and I couldn’t help but note some of the similarities between her and Cole. “Guess not. He likes his quiet time.”

“Have to say his silent staring was rather confusing at the beginning.” I snorted, but before she could reply Cole seemed to appear out of nowhere, budding into our conversation with eagerness.

“Mom!” He noticed my surprise and cleared his throat to collect himself. “What are you doing here?”

Princess Winter didn’t seem bothered by his strange attitude. “Oh, hi baby! I'm just talking.”

He narrowed his eyes at her in suspicion for a reason I didn’t quite understand. “Why?”

Is it bad that she’s talking to me?

“Why not?” his mother countered “It's encouraged that former Selected speak to the current Selected.”

“That is true.” I nodded.

“...Selected” I noticed him clench his jaw. “Right, yes...Of course.” He looked the other way as if to say we could continue talking but didn’t leave.

His mother gave him a peering look. “Cole?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you alright, snowflake?”

He turned to look at her alarmed and slightly flustered as I tried not to laugh. No wonder he calls me nicknames.

“Mom...” he sounded embarrassed.

“Nice nickname.” I decided it would be fun to press on that.

“Isn't it cute? I thought it was.”

He glared at me and then looked back at his mom. “I'm fine.”

“I don't know, you seem tense, feel free to be more in the conversation. It might lighten you up.”

I could see his cheeks turning red. I’d only ever seen him blush when Haiden and I teased him by calling him kinky, so deciding I wanted to see him flustered again I joined his mother’s queries. “She's right, are you ok?

“Yes.” he insisted. “I'm glad you two are both concerned, but like I said before, I'm fine. I can't join a nonexistent conversation however, so…” he gestured for us to continue and I was disappointed he hadn’t blushed entirely.

“Hmm... alright then” plan B “how was Cole when he was little?”

He cleared his throat. “I don't think that's—” he started, but before he could get another word out his mom started gushing.

“Oh, my little Cole was just the cutest little boy. He had the biggest blue eyes and the brightest smile, such a little thing too.”

That seemed to work.

“Mom, maybe—”

“Brightest smile? Oh, I do agree” I elbowed him playfully “but it isn't as easy to get it out of him now.”

“I didn't smile that much back then either.” he mumbled, rolling his eyes.

“Darling, don't lie.” the princes pinched his cheeks and I couldn’t hold my laughter any longer. “I used to think your face would freeze smiling.”

“Mom, that hurts.” his voice was muffled by her pinching.

She ignored his protests and then frowned after assessing his suit—her hands immediately straightening his clothes. “I swear, Cole, you need to stop allowing your clothes to wrinkle. You look homeless.”

Almost blushing.

“Oh, I tell him that all the time.” I joked and he glared back.

“You do not” then back at his mother—finally blushing—he added “and I do not look homeless, I make sure my clothes are ironed because of you.”

“Well, at least keep your tie in place. I will not have the country thinking I'm not capable of teaching my son how to look presentable. I am so sorry, Aileen. Sometimes my maternal senses completely take over.”

“Understandable.”

Cole scowled, slightly offended. “I—I look presentable!”

“Oh my gosh, Cole! Aileen listen to him, he sounds just like my husband. He has this little stutter when he's embarrassed. It's the cutest thing.”

“Oh, really?”

“Pfft—whaaa—I…—that's not— Mom seriously I don't—I never stutter...” he trailed off and looked the other way. This was a new level of flustered.

“Cole! I love you, baby. You're just like your father.” The princess was gushing so much I wouldn’t have been surprised if hearts started floating in the air around her like on cartoons. “Isn't he precious?”

“Have to admit he is.” I laughed and he adjusted his glasses, his whole face red now.

“Mom, please, this— this is not helpful.”

She hugged Cole tightly, completely towered by him. “I'm always helpful. It's my job as your mother.”

“Mom…” it felt like the only protest he could utter under the circumstances.

His whine was immediately followed by a new one however. “Mom!”

Princess Winter didn’t miss a beat to turn around. A boy that practically reached my height walked over to us. “Oh, yes dear?” she looked back at me apologetically. “Sorry, this is my son, Jason.”

Oh boy. Thirteen year old flirting boy.

“And who are you?” Jason practically winked at me and Cole glared down at him since he was still taller than his younger brother.

“Too old for you.” He snapped.

“Please, age is just a number.”

He took a step closer to him with a cold gaze. “Yeah, and death is just a nap.”

“Umm,” I stood there awkwardly, confused by Cole’s sudden change in manner, but it didn’t last long as none other than Prince Cody walked over to smack him on the head—trailed by a girl around my age holding Autumn’s hand as she fumed.

“Hey, no threatening your brother.” The prince warned. I wasn’t sure if he noticed I was there but I tried not to seem too nervous surrounded by most of Cole’s family. Schreaves. Royals.

My nervousness disappeared however as—who I could only guess to be—Wendy spoke up.

“What? Was being decent for more than two seconds too much for you, Cole?”

A third girl appeared, not much older than the one that had just spoken, staring at us clearly confused. “Why are we all over here?”

Cole ignored the third girl's question and answered Wendy’s, gesturing at Jason with his head. “He was making her uncomfortable.”

“Um, I was fine,” I snickered, but I doubted anyone heard.

“Mom! Wendy won't let go of me!” Autumn protested, clearly annoyed, but both her mother and sister ignored it.

Wendy frowned. “Who? Jason?”

Jason yelled a “No!” at the same time Cole said “Yes!”

“Probably.” The last sister (that hadn’t been mentioned) shrugged. I assumed she was Violet.

“Dad!” Autumn whined again but Prince Cody was too busy whispering something into Winter’s ear.

“What is it?” Their mother asked absently, too busy smiling at her husband, but Wendy still began to explain why she wouldn’t let go of Autumn.

“She tried to convince a guard to steal some food from people.”

Then everyone gave different responses at the same time. Oh, wow.

I hesitantly decided to speak up in the middle of it all. “A pleasure to meet you all…” It sadly sounded more like a question than a statement and I stood there awkwardly bawling my hand into the dresses’ skirt, wondering if I should even bother with a curtsy.

Jason seemed to perk up at my statement however. “The pleasure’s all mine” he leered, reaching for my hand to give it a kiss.

Uh...

Prince Cody hit him this time. “Jason!”

At that I did have to laugh and Violet joined in too. Cole shook his head with a sigh.

Winter seemed to realize some introductions where needed. “I am so sorry, Aileen. This is my husband Cody.”

“Uh, yeah—um hi.” he stuttered.

Winter practically beamed as if saying ‘there it is!’ “Adorable, I know.”

All the children groaned—even Cole—and I found it all so strangely amusing it was hard not to grin.

“A pleasure...and this is great to be honest.”

Cole’s eyebrows shot upward and he glanced at me. “It is?”

Jason took the opportunity for a move. “Of course it is. I'm here” he winked.

Cole rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

“I think I'm going to throw up.” Wendy mumbled.

“I think I just did.” Violet stated, deadpan.

Cole swiveled around to look at her with a frown. “What?”

“Figure of speech. Oh my gosh, Cole. Get it together.”

He scowled at her.

Autumn rolled her eyes for the sixth time in a row. “I'm so bored right now.”

“Well, I guess I'm not too worried about my family anymore.” I mumbled. For a moment had been worried all the random dancing had been a bit too much for him to handle on the first meet. Not that I believe he’ll ever see my family again anyway but…

“I told you they weren't as bad” he grumbled.

“We're not bad! We're just very close.” Winter chided.

“Yeah, don't mind my kids. They're not as great as my wife. It's impossible.”

The Princess’ blush matched the one Cole had had a few minutes ago as she almost giggled. Everyone groaned again and I could only smile at their reactions.

“I'm actually so offended right now.” Violet admitted, but Wendy dismissed her.

“Used to it.”

“Why are you like this?” this time it was Cole who protested and I shoved him.

“Let them be in love.”

He glared at me, but his eyes sparkled with amusement. “Oh, you gotta be kidding me.”

Jason tried a move again. “So... Aileen... how you doin'?”

“Did you seriously just say that?” Violet practically scoffed.

I glanced at Cole. “At least he has manners.”

He took full offense in this and opened his mouth to say something when Wendy interrupted him.

“I'm done. I'm going to look for a good looking guard.”

“That's my girl. When I was your age, I was married.” Winter proclaimed proudly, but her husband had a different reaction.

“Wha—ah, no Wen—stop,” she was gone before he could even get a sentence out. “Oh God.”

Autumn, who had finally been released by Wendy, yelled “FREEDOM!” as she left. A couple of bystanders stared at her as she walked away.

Violet did a small curtsy before staring at her brothers and parents. “Well... this has been fun. I'm going to go. Love you!

Jason took a step closer to me and winked again. If he really wanted that to work one day he would need to tone down the winking. “Looks like it's just you and me.”

Winter and Cody gave him puzzled looks and I raised an eyebrow at him. He blew a kiss before Cole decided to stand between us, dramatically clearing his throat.

“Don't be jealous, Cole. There's enough of me to go around.”

“Why you little—”

He mother glared him into silence. “Cole! I dare you.”

Prince Cody covered Jason’s mouth. “Alright. That's enough out of you.”

Even though Cole hadn’t finished his sentence his parents seemed adamant on making him remember ‘Mama's rules’ and briefly scolded him for his attempt.

After they were done Jason removed his father’s hand from his mouth. “I'm still here, y'know.”

Cole immediately glared down at him.

“Jason, why don't you come with me to get something to eat? Sound good? Great.” Prince Cody pushed him away, only briefly turning around to kiss Winter before leaving. “I love you, Win.”

Jason took the opportunity to get out of his grasp and kissed my cheek. “HAH!”

I would have punched him in the face if it had been anywhere else.

“JASON” Cole seemed ready to hit him for me, but their father grabbed his shirt and ripped him away with embarrassment, before Cole had a chance.

“Dear Lord, child? Chill your hormones!”

Princess Winter placed a hand on Cole’s shoulder. “Calm down, Snowflake. He's just playing. I'll give him the talk later. Is that a worthy punishment?”

“He shouldn’t be playing like that,” he grumbled in response and I was suddenly very intrigued by how overprotective he’d been during it all.

“Wait, why do you even care?”

Cole froze and his mother grinned.

“Ooh, she got you there. If you'll both excuse me, I'm going to go find my husband. It was so lovely meeting you, Aileen. Cole, fix your tie. Bye!” She left and I looked back at him only to have him stare at his shoes.

“It’s a nice party.”

Nice view you’ve got of it there. I elbowed him. “I like your family.”

“They’re crazy.” He sighed.

“I’m crazy, and in case you don’t remember my cousins forced you to dance in the middle of our living room after ‘washing the dishes together’ turned into a musical.”

He smiled. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“I’m beginning to think you and Haiden have really strange standards for what is and isn’t bad.”

“I’ve never had that much fun washing the dishes, so there’s that.”

“I doubt you’ve ever washed dishes before” I joked, and as I rolled my eyes a new song began. We exchanged looks before glancing away.

“I like your dress.” He mumbled.

“I like it too” I smirked and he laughed—I liked the way he tilted his head slightly whenever he laughed—as if his amusement was always followed by curiosity.

“No compliments for me?”

Giving him a sideways glance I stated, “You’re tie is crooked.”

“Guess my Mom is right then.” A head tilt and a light laugh.

“We can fix it though.”

I reached for his tie and pulled him by it into the group of people dancing.

They were in the middle of their second dance when shots where fired and chaos erupted.

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#cole #princess winter #windy fam #challenge #fic

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kaaras-adaar-a · 8 years ago

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// I was going to leave this for next Monday when it’s the official date, but chances are I’ll be working or away and I’m not certain yet, and with so many other people posting theirs, I figured I’d jump on the bandwagon!

I can’t believe I’ve had this blog for two years already on the 20th of February. Kaaras’ blog started off as a place for me to keep everything Dragon Age related (and Kaaras related) as an archive of sorts. Where I could share his game play with a friend of mine, and where I could store my art of him and screencaps.

It wasn’t too soon after when people approached me if I RP’d at all or asked IC questions, etc. After some pretty bad experiences in my previous fandom, I was a little nervous to start Rping on tumblr again. I’ve been SO overwhelmed with the positive response that Kaaras has been given. Honestly, I have met so many amazing people in this community.

Dragon Age and Kaaras helped me a lot through some darker stages in my life, through some pretty severe depressive states and mental struggles. He’s been a huge support beam for me, and honestly he’s made so so happy over these last couple of years. Kaaras very much became a person to me, and he’s now so much more than I ever could have imagined, no thanks to all of you and your support and interactions over the years. <3

So first of all, thank you to EVERYONE who has ever interacted with Kaaras, whether you’ve stayed or left, you’ve still interacted and shaped Kaaras in one way or another. Thank you for approaching us, wanting to RP with Kaaras, sticking through all of the ooc posts, his (and my) moods and dark days, and just loving him as much as I love and care for him. <3 Thank you anyone who has sent us memes, anons, follows, art, ANYTHING. Thank you for merely interacting with us as a whole.

Of course, what would a milestone be without some shout outs. So in, no particular order, here goes:

The Inner Circle:

For the people I have long term Rped with and have made spectacular friends with. <3 These are people who have either put up with so much of my shit that they belong here because they deserve to or because they’ve simply made RPing here such a joy and left a huge impact on myself and Kaaras. Let’s be honest, we also talk nearly every day XD

@elfroot-and-lightning - Honestly, where would Kaaras be without Ezra? Where would I be without you as my special friend and who I absolutely adore and love. <3 You are one of the very first people I got to RP with here on this blog, and I remember when Ezra was on your main blog, and I was so excited to RP with another qunari. Ezra was one of the very first muses to get so close to Kaaras to open up and talk about things that he’d never spoken about with anyone else. Ezra was a calm to him that he needed, and to be honest, because of them, we became so much closer to one another. Where we were too shy to talk to one another, our muses were able to fill in the gaps, and I can never regret that. You managed to settle yourself deep within my heart and when I say that I love you, I absolutely mean that. As whatever you will have me as *snug* You’re a kind, loving and gentle person, and talking to you always makes my day just that little bit brighter. Tbh, I still feel a little giddy when I think about my feelings for you XD

Kaazra is life has become an official tag, and to this day, Kaazra is still my OTP for these two in an RP setting. I will never not love these special two. You’re a fantastic writer, and even though you don’t RP as much as you used to, you’re still one of my favourite Rpers here and forever will be. *smooch*

@sahlintalas - I don’t think you understand (yes you do who am I kidding) how much I love that someone can GET me in a cultural perspective and thus in a very personal and lifestyle perspective as well. Honestly, it’s SO refreshing getting to talk to someone who understand my lingo, the fact that dunking your biscuits in tea is a highly important role in society and all of our other ridiculously non American traits. XD

I’m still slightly creeped out, even if amused that we have so much in common and that we are literally clones. That we look alike, that we share the same names and everything else. It’s amazing and yet so fucking weird that I love it to pieces.

You have become one of my closest friends here in the DARP community and out of that as well. It’s not just the RP that I love with you, it’s getting to talk to you almost every day as well that it’s become quite a norm for me and that I miss it when we don’t talk. Sahlin has become such a significant part of Kaaras, and honestly as someone who understand how real a muse can be, I definitely need that in my life.

You just GET me. And that’s so damn important. Even when we don’t agree, you still say that it’s nothing wrong with me, and even that the world needs people like me, who give so many chances, etc. And that’s important to me, to know that just because we don’t deal with things the same, that I still have your respect as a friend and as a person.

For one, I love ALL of your muses, yes, even Martine although Kaaras still is iffy as fuck on her and they haven’t even interacted XD. Your muses are so unique to themselves, and not a single one of them is the same, they are very much their own persons.

With Herah and Sahlin, I’ve actually learned a lot about Kaaras (especially his more dominant side with Sahlin). Seriously, I always thought that Kaaras was a major subby until he and Sahlin got together, and I realised just how wrong I was. XD

Our muses have grown with each other, and that’s something I love to see. Thank you for putting up with Kaaras’ moods and my bad days as well. You’ve been a great friend to me over the year that we’ve known each other. <3

@aylenlavellan - Although we’ve been friends, or at least known each other, for quite a few years, this fandom absolutely brought us closer than we’ve ever been. I was always a distant admirer of your art over on deviantART and then following you over on tumblr we talked a little more. I am SO happy that you made Aylen’s blog official, and I am so thankful that you gave into my pining for you to make her blog xDD (sorry I am the worst lol), but I have no regrets!

You’re a sweet, kind, gentle soul and one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I ADORE Kaylen to pieces and they are honestly one of the fluffiest and happiest ships I have going on here. We don’t love you just for the ships, though, we love you and your muse because you’re wonderful people, and you’re a fantastic writer and artist. Whenever I see that you’ve replied to a thread of mine, I always get a little bit giddy.

Also, never forget rubba dub dub in the tub--I had to mention that :D Because it’s fucking legit and it’s still the best thread title TO THIS DAY!

Seriously, though, you’re a major sweetheart, and I don’t think you realise how important Aylen is to Kaaras’ happiness. His childhood was taken away from him when he was just 12, and with Aylen, he feels like he gets to relive something he never got to have as a growing man. A childhood and youthfulness is important to remember, and Aylen gives that to him, with the balance of a sturdy and professional adult life as well. They’re perfect together, and even in their tough times, there is still something so HAPPY about this ship. In turn, their happiness is absolutely infectious and I find myself happy for them. I love them, they’re adorable!

@tal-fucking-vashoth - Omg, you haven’t even had this blog for two months and I ADORE you to pieces. When I first approached you, I was very shy and nervous and I thought you’d absolutely hate Kaaras (yes I’m just as anxious as everyone else is on tumblr apparently XD). But we hit it off really quickly, and even though it’s been so little time, I already know that you’ve got my back in tough times, and that’s important for someone who’s barely known each other for a few months. XDDD

You’re fun, you’re chill, and I do feel like you’re a very understanding person. And then there is your Bull. WOW, as if your follower count can’t prove it to you already, but you write an amazing, deep Bull who is full of confusion and struggles and LOVE. He’s a giant teddy bear, and tbh, let me tell you as someone who’s spent 2 years in the DARP community and pining for some Bull action, yours is absolutely one of my favourite takes--and yes, even with the absolutely terribull puns. XD

I really do look forward to getting to plot with you and becoming your friend. <3 We met on a very... awkward basis considering everything that happened with me and my dash all of a sudden becoming such a negative space, but your Bull definitely was a light in the darkness there, and thank you for putting up with my rot. You’re amazing already!

@tavis-of-bannorn - I feel like our muses really struggled at the start, and now look at them. They are being really fluffy and adorable, and honestly, the time that it took for them to open up was definitely one of the longest for Kaaras, but it was well worth the wait, and it absolutely makes these two realistic.

Tavis is an amazing, in depth character with a heart of poetry and symbolism. What I love most about Tavis is that there is no muse like Tavis, Tavis is so unique in his own way, even his own aesthetics, that he really stands out from the crowd. I know I’ve told you a million times that I think he’s the hottest elf in Thedas, but we don’t RP with Tavis because of what he looks like.

We RP with Tavis because of his depth of character, because of how well he’s been thought out and how much of a person he is, and an individual to himself. We Rp because Rping with Tavis is honestly something that I can’t even predict with him, and it’s sort of like a lucky dip every time Kaaras is with him, he’s left wanting that little bit more, and I’m left wanting to know what will HAPPEN, because Tavis is the kind of character you WANT to ask questions about. He draws you in in such a way where he’s never boring, and he’s always got something to say.

You’ve been such a delight to talk to and befriend along the way, you’re so chill and understanding, and I love that, and you’ve been there for me when Kaaras was struggling and going through some serious shit. Also, your taste in music is fucking awesome, because let’s face it, it’s the same as mine P:

@thosewhospeak - Omg, can I just say how much I LOVE KAARAS AND TAMA!!!? I mean, for one, Kaaras has NEVER had a rival before that’s actually been enjoyable for the mod to RP. And that’s how it SHOULD be. No guilt tripping, no manipulation for them to like one another, just pure letting our muses be themselves and enjoying their shitfest on the sidelines. XD

I absolutely love their dynamic and the internal struggles that the both of them have because of one another. This is what a rival SHOULD be, and you play Tama so strictly and in line that it’s amazing to watch her be so blind and stubborn and yet also struggle a little within herself.

Rping with you in general is such a delight and so enjoyable, and it’s so fun getting to explore this side of Kaaras. Thank you SO much for making Tama and having her simply be herself. I know some people may have caved under the pressure and feared people might not like their muse because of what she is and her beliefs, but you’ve done a fantastic job with keeping her in character and true to herself, and that includes making her grow and learn as well.

Seriously, I adore her, she’s got to be my favourite Qunari (Qun) character out there. I fucking love her to pieces. <3 You’ve also always been there to ask if I was okay when I was having a bad moment, and I want to thank you for that. Chatting with you is always enjoyable, and I love bouncing ideas off one another with our terrible muses. XDDD

Inquisition:

I want to throw some special shout outs to the following people. We either admire you from afar or RP with you and are just getting to know both you and your muse enough that they’ve left a special little mark in mine and Kaaras’ heart, and we hope to continue Rping with you and want to say a special thank you for Rping with us! <3 And hopefully more in the future!

Some of you are long term RP partners and friends of mine, and I want you to know that you are special and that we adore you to absolute pieces! <3 I honestly want to write little notes about ALL of you, but this is already getting so damn long that I’m afraid I’ll be a broken record >.< Just know that if your name is below, that you’re awesome, and if you’re not following any of these guys, then GO AND DO IT! :D

Support:

To EVERYONE! To anyone who has followed Kaaras, interacted with him, IMed me, asked him anons, sent us memes, liked our video posts, my art, ANYTHING. I want to say a HUGE thank you to every single one of you amazing souls out there!

We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all of you. Even the shy people who watch from afar and are too scared to approach. We still love you! Also don’t be shy, we’re dorks :D I promise.

Seriously, though, this blog helped me through some seriously bad times, and the community as a whole has been overwhelmingly amazing! Thank you anyone and everyone who has interacted with Kaaras over the last two years, even if you didn’t stay around--thank you either way!

Each and every one of you had left a mark in our hearts. Thank you for being so supportive of us, and I hope for many more years and getting to know a lot more of you and RP with you guys!

Thank you so much for everything. <3 The Inquisition would be nothing without it’s people. :)

#ooc #off the ram #2 years #appreciation post #2 year anniversary #(( I'm panicking a little because I feel like I'm forgetting people??? DX sorry if I have ))

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