#almost done updating….! I missed being active on here
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peachfruitcake · 12 days ago
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lololololchips · 5 months ago
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Kim Mingyu || in which love lingers…
synopsis: in which love lingers even after their relationship reaches its end. Mingyu discover that his enduring love and care for his ex will always remain, even if she has now found happiness in a new relationship…
genre: one shot smau, fake texts, fluff, angst, non!idol, lovers to strangers (?)
warnings: fem reader, cursing, mention of alcohol/being intoxicated
a/n: hiiiii i am very happy and excited to announce that this is my first collab!!! soooo allow me to introduce the amazing, talented, and great person that completed this smau @spamgyu !!!!! ces completely ruined me with her opinion on ex!mingyu to the point that it made me want to do an smau on the topic so here it is:)) the amazing writing portion that she did is towards the end so make sure not to skip over it and read it!!! also go show her support on all her great work, she’s gonna make u suffer and cry BUT HEY THATS OKAY🙈🙈 once again i’m truly so happy to have worked with ces so ENJOY WHAT WE PUT TOGETHER HEHE<333
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Taking the final bite of his shave ice, Mingyu couldn't help but let out a pitiful chuckle as the cold treat made contact with his tongue - he had gone mad.
He had always wanted to visit the tropical island, looking forward to crossing off all the sights he had on his four year old list in his notes app.
Only difference was, it wasn't meant to just be him completing this list.
You were supposed to be there.
You were the one that had come up and done research for all the places he had paid a visit to.
From the small surf town up north to the local eateries, Mingyu couldn't quite find himself to enjoy the experience fully - knowing that there was something missing.
You.
It had been three years since the two of you had separated, both coming to terms with the end and moving on with your lives. It had been months since he had even thought of you - as a romantic partner, at least.
What was meant to be a birthday trip had turned to somewhat of a trip to tie up all the loose ends he never did seem to get to - nor was he aware had been undone.
This place was supposed to be for you two.
Mingyu knew it was stupid; relating every activity he had been doing back to you instead of fully enjoying the trip.
He was supposed to have moved on; and he has!
But why did his stomach feel like it was constantly sinking? Why did his heart feel as empty as it did the first day he had experienced a life without you?
With each picture he snapped, he found himself mumbling how much you would have loved the place.
It was everything you two had dreamed of, maybe even more.
You always did like the ocean - remembering the first time the two of you had spent at the beach together.
He could remember the smile on your face that day, almost as if it was just a week ago.
He could remember the sweet smell of coconut shampoo that lingered in your hair, wafting into his nose as the wind blew.
He could remember the sunkissed glow on your cheeks as the sun beat down on the two of you.
Would it have been the same if you had made it to the Hawaii trip with him?
Would you still have been using the same shampoo?
Would you still allow him to playfully drag you into the water - pretending as if you didn't want to wet your hair in the cold ocean water?
Probably not.
Time has passed, there was no way you were the same person - just as he wasn't that same foolish boy that he was when he was wrapped around your fingers.
You were most likely using a different shampoo now.
And you probably would have jumped into the ocean first.
He wanted to text you; send you all the images he took, update you that Matsumoto Shave Ice was as delicious as you imagined it be, tell you all about what he had been up to.
You probably wouldn't even care - at least, not like you did before.
You would simply reply casually, just like your other mutual friends.
Letting out a sigh, Mingyu tossed out the now empty cup - shaking his head to try and shake away the thoughts of you.
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"I'm a fucking idiot." He scoffed, rereading the word vomit that he had spilled to you just a few minutes ago over text.
You two had been cordial, friends even - and now, that could possibly go down the drain.
All because of this stupid thing called nostalgia.
He had allowed for the emotional tie that the island had to overpower his coherent thoughts - typing all that he had felt the duration of his trip into the messaging app.
Mingyu knew he had to get it out, he had to let you know - he felt as though his chest would burst if he didn't. He had done so well holding back for the past few days, simply talking to you in his head.
But he heard it, someone had played the song the two of you had jokingly dedicated to each other after the break-up - and almost as if his younger self had possessed his body, he opened the messaging app and went on to spill all that his brain had been bothering him with.
His younger self missed you; gravely.
But not the you that was now, no - he didn't know who she is.
She is a stranger.
She may look familiar, having the same features that had once had him so weak in the knees - but she no longer felt like the home he once resided in.
He no longer knew the address to this home, nor does he think it has it's light on for him anymore.
Even if his kept the porch light on; just in case you needed to seek shelter in the darkest of nights.
It will always be on.
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campbyler · 6 months ago
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the ppl that complain abt updates are actually so bewildering to me bc im literally 2k words into my fic and it has taken SO LONG 😞 not to mention the fact that no matter how long i wait for your updates, i truly never get bored because i js come on your tumblr everyday to see what you guys have been posting on here and it 100% makes up for the long awaited updates (not that you have anything to make up for anyway) you guys are truly SO incredible for what you do bc i could NEVER 😭 i literally talked to my friend abt ur fic and how the waits are usually long (wasn’t complaining abt it) and she was like “oh my god i could never wait that long for a fic” and i immediately came to your defense and was like “yeah but it’s okay bc the long ass chapters always make up for it and the fact that they post on tumblr almost daily”
prefacing my accidental ramble by saying that if we ever seem disproportionately annoyed at something someone said then it’s definitely because it is not disproportionate to Us!! little comments and things like that add up over time, so it’s rarely about just that one thing someone says and absolutely more of an overarching pattern that gets tiring really fast. and not to dredge everything back up again bc it’s rare that we get someone being super weird and rude outright about longer or delayed update times but we get soooo so many asks or comments etc like the one thea answered earlier which just include little remarks that come off as just passive aggressive and just kind of kill the vibe of getting a really nice message?? very much like “oh i miss when we only had to wait a couple weeks for updates but your fic is so good!” or “this was so good but don’t know how im going to wait months for the next chapter :(“ and just stuff like that which gets pretty frustrating over time, especially when they’re coming from people who blew through a 30k update in like 45 minutes lol. we see so much of this over on twt especially, maybe because we’re not as active there and people are not saying it To Us so they think we don’t see it but there’s also a lot of likeeeeee “i want to start acswy but im Traumatized by authors abandoning their fics so im just waiting until they’re done” or “i want to catch up but the update intervals are so long😭” and that sort of thing which is also just kind of frustrating to see come up over and over again, esp bc sometimes people have actually said that to us? like in our inbox??? for some entirely unknown reason??? like why are you telling us on this blog that you don’t want to read our fic until it’s done. good luck getting through 500k in one sitting then idk what to tell you 🤷🏽‍♀️
anyways all that to say thank you so much for your message of support it’s very much appreciated! sometimes the demands (even if they’re said as a joke) and little side comments that are slipped into really nice messages can def make us feel like our readers see as us people who are putting out a product and not people who are just trying to share a passion project with our little corner of the internet, but we also know that most of you are not like that and especially the people who regularly interact w this blog and send in asks and comments are so lovely! thank you for coming to our defense 🫡
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yellowocaballero · 9 months ago
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Ashen Wolf Byleth & Teen Dad Yuri
The blade fell, and the beautiful ghost stepped away. “We don’t like surface people here. If you two are plotting anything, I’ll kill you.”
She said it so simply and easily, as if Dimitri’s death would be the work of nature or the Goddess and not her own two hands. Dimitri turned around, heart jumping into the throat, and met the eyes of his beautiful ghost for the first time.
The girl was solid, real, and around his age. She was wearing a strange, bastardized version of the Academy uniform, silver and embroidered with a strange symbol over the heart. Her hair gleamed navy blue and her lace stockings barely hid her defined thigh muscles. Her grip on her sword was excellent and her stance spoke of barely restrained power. The woman could kill him in a flash, and the stroke that cut his throat would shine like moonlight.
Like Dimitri loved a long fall and short impact, like he loved the light at the end of the tunnel, like he loved betting all in on the longest chances, Dimitri fell in love instantly.
I need to update Weekenders but there's about twenty reasons why I haven't done it yet. But while I've been posting it I've been writing a shitton of other stuff, only some of which is decent, so I thought I'd post the beginnings of this story while I finish up the New Game+ Claude POV fic. This is most of what exists so far, and I probably won't finish it. Writing Dimitri's POV actively made me feel more insane as a person.
TW for references and flashbacks to Yuri's canon past. Around 15k of an absolutely demented Dimitri, a deeply smarmy Claude, a disturbingly feral Byleth, and a Yuri who is just doing his best under the cut.
i.
Dimitri was rapidly growing obsessed with the beautiful ghost. 
He tried to confess to his colleagues in the Blue Lions, but they just gave him sympathetic eyes and confiscated his training sword. A typical lack of faith in their leader, but Dimitri had to accept that it was well deserved. He was perfectly aware that Felix, Sylvain, Dedue, and Ingrid didn’t believe in ghosts, much less beautiful ones. Mercedes, Ashe, and Annette believed whole-heartedly in ghosts, but they thought he was being weird about it. So Dimitri was silenced, ostensibly for his own good. It was for his own good - future kings couldn’t exactly run around talking about beautiful ghosts - but it still felt like an odd form of betrayal. 
And he still couldn’t get her out of his mind. If only he had proof, Sylvain would make fun of him just a little bit less. All he had to do was be patient and wait for his time to come. Sylvain would see. They’d all see. 
The time came sooner than expected, with unexpected company. Dimitri and Claude were walking back from an important (Edelgard’s words) and mind-numbingly boring (Claude’s words) administrative meeting when he saw her again. They were walking a side path along the very edge of the monastery, using it as a shortcut between the main building and their own dormitory, and in the thick night their solitude was complete. Complete save for a shadow in the distance, darting from the forest and across the path like a minnow in a stream. 
Dimitri dropped his books in shock. Claude stopped short, raising an eyebrow at him. 
“What’s -”
“It’s her!” Dimitri cried. “That’s her! Hey - miss, please wait!”
The books and company were no longer important. Dimitri set off after her at a run, only barely aware that Claude was hot on his tail. As always, the ghost disappeared almost instantly - she crossed the path and dove into the tall shrubbery against the stone walls of the monastery, where she disappeared. Dimitri had seen her appear from the ground and disappear into walls before, only barely visible from the corner of his eyes, and every time she slipped like water from his fingers.
This time was no different. Dimitri skidded to a halt at her disappearing point, pushing aside thick branches in a desperate search for terrestrial beauty. There was nobody and nothing - the girl had walked straight into the monastery walls. Foiled again.
“Dammit!” Dimitri yelled. Claude’s eyebrows jumped up. “I was so close that time!” 
“You know curse words? I owe Hilda a hundred gold.” Claude poked his head over Dimitri’s shoulder, watching his desperate search without helping whatsoever. “What was all of that about? Did you see someone?”
“Didn’t you?” But Dimitri already knew the answer, even as he said it - nobody ever saw her but him. “I’ve been seeing this girl since I arrived at Garreg Mach. She appears from thin air and disappears into nothing. I suspect she may be a ghost. I’ve searched high and low for her, but I haven’t been able to find her. And she slips through my fingers again!”
Claude hummed, scratching his chin. “Now that you mention it, maybe I did see a figure…”
Dimitri rocketed upwards, snapping several branches. He whirled on Claude, who took a large step back. “You did? Was she short, wearing silver clothing, unmistakably beautiful?”
Claude held up both hands in a plea for innocence. “...it looked kind of humanoid?” Figures. Dimitri turned back around, scanning the area again. If he could just follow her trail - maybe there would be a scent of death? Of ozone? Of the unknown? “Hey, if it matters that much to you then I’ll help you look. Can’t afford to rule anything out - even ghosts.” 
“You’re a true friend, Your Grace,” Dimitri said seriously. Claude nodded back, equally seriously. “And even if she isn’t a ghost, an unknown person at Garreg Mach is highly suspect. She doesn’t seem to wear a habit, armor, or a uniform. It’s our responsibility as leaders to investigate mysteries like this.” 
“Uh huh.” Claude slipped into the thicket with him, easily fitting into the barren spots where Dimitri already accidentally snapped off all the branches. Dimitri was already seriously knocking on the castle walls, searching for secret passages or weaknesses. “But not to tell a staff member?”
“I decided a while ago that I could handle this on my own,” Dimitri said stiffly. Wasn’t like anybody was willing to help him, anyway. “Some endeavors are personal.”
“I know that feeling.” Claude hummed, and Dimitri heard the distinct screech of metal scraping on metal. “So are you this invested because of the ghost thing or the beautiful thing?”
“With the potential non-invited guest at Garreg Mach thing, Your Grace.” 
A terrible grinding sound split the night, and Dimitri winced. He was a bit sensitive to unexpected loud noises. Felix knew, and liked to sneak up on him and yell in his ear. “I’m a future duke and you’re a future king, Your Highness, I think you’re meant to speak less formally to me.” 
“We’re both future leaders of our respective countries,” Dimitri said seriously. “Isn’t that more important than a discrepancy in titles? I’d like to show respect to you as it befits your station, not your title.” 
More awful screeching filled the air, accompanied by a final grinding scream and a muffled thump. “Is that why you’re the only person who calls Petra ‘Your Highness’? I think that’s why you’re the only guy in this school she approves of.” 
“Really?” Dimitri asked, pleased. Politeness always paid off! “I simply think it’s disrespectful to treat her as anything less than royalty simply because she is here as a political hostage - an outdated practice that I believe - I’m sorry, what’s that sound?”
“Oh, just opening a secret passage.” 
“I see. I just think it’s an outdated practice that ought to be illegalized, and just between you and me I actually highly disapprove of - I’m sorry, a what?”
Dimitri turned around from his fruitless inspection of the wall for the first time and saw Claude squatting nearby. He had cut away the brambles surrounding the area with the tip of an arrow he pulled from somewhere, and a large manhole was resting on the grass next to him. He was currently sticking his head down a dark hole of indeterminable depth. Dimitri hadn’t even noticed a manhole! 
Well. If the beautiful woman was a beautiful ghost, then she had undoubtedly gone through the wall. But if the beautiful woman was an everyday extremely attractive girl, then the manhole might be how she had escaped so quickly. 
Finally, a lead! A path towards her! Dimitri did not know why he was a little disappointed. Was he secretly hoping she’d be a ghost? That would be a little impractical. Maybe he was just upset Claude had found it?
Claude popped his head back up, upside-down braid swinging back against his cheek. “Now isn’t this interesting?” For the first time, Claude seemed invested. “The sewer system doesn’t run underneath this path. So what’s an access point to the sewers doing right here?”
“...why do you know the sewer layout of Garreg Mach?”
“I’m a fan of a good mystery,” Claude said, completely ignoring the question. Perhaps. “How do you feel about a little exploration on this fine moonlit night?” 
Oh no. Dimtiri abruptly felt a little anxious. “Your Grace, I don’t believe students are allowed in the Garreg Mach sewer systems.”
“What if it’s not the Garreg Mach sewer system?”
“That may be less allowed.” A little awkwardly, Dimitri added, “And I really wouldn’t want to accidentally break a rule and get in trouble.”
Claude gave him a look of blatant disgust. Dimitri hung his head in shame.
Finally, Claude took pity on him. He sighed and clapped Dimitri’s shoulder - once in camaraderie, twice in sympathy. “Your Highness. Are you really going to let some little rules get in the way of you and your soulmate?”
Dimitri perked up. Putting it like that…and he really didn’t want to look uncool in front of Claude, who was probably the coolest person at the school… “I suppose Lady Rhea would understand if it’s for the sake of love…”
“Attaboy.” Claude shoved roughly at Dimitri’s shoulder, pushing him into the hole. “Now let’s dive into the sewers. Lords first!”
Thankfully, Dimitri wasn’t obligated to fall down a hole face first. There was a wooden ladder descending downwards, warped and fragile from the damp air, and although Dimitri descended into the dark with no hesitation he had to force himself to move slowly and grip the fragile rungs with utmost care. 
The darkness was absolute, and Dimitri and Claude navigated by feel. They climbed for what felt like ages, and Dimitri’s absolute concentration made the period of time span even longer. Claude prattled on above his head with some random thoughts and observations, but Dimitri was focusing too hard on the ladder to register what he was saying. 
A boot knocked him on the head. Dimitri’s hands spasmed, crushing the rung into splinters, and his grip was completely lost. Dimitri bent backwards a terrifying foot before he righted himself and regained his balance, grabbing the side of the ladder and swinging himself heavily downwards. Of course, that broke the side of the ladder, and suddenly Claude was yelling a great deal of expletives as one side of his ladder began to slide downwards. 
“Let’s readjust our approach,” Dimitri said mildly. He changed his grip to grab the two sides of the ladder, his metal gauntlets digging into the wood. “Get ready to slide, Your Grace.” 
“Are you nuts -”
Dimitri kicked off, taking his feet off the rungs and loosening his grip on the sides. His slide downwards was alarmingly fast, and he could feel the musty air rise up to meet him. Claude was still yelling, his voice echoing up the empty tunnel, and a familiar wave of adrenaline rose to wash Dimitri’s mind clean.
He couldn’t help but grin. The wind tousling his hair, the swooping sensation in his stomach, the possibility of death and the high probability of injury - a recipe for excitement. Dimitri’s favorite sort of excitement - the sort that cleared out all of the nasty little thoughts that clouded his mind day to day, that made him forget all of his problems and memories and wounds and that focused him onto the present moment. It was a thrill that conquered all ills, and it was more or less the only time that Dimitri was ever happy. 
His professor didn’t like that about him. Before Garreg Mach, Felix was the only person who was aware of Dimitri’s little addiction, but the Blue Lions professor had sniffed Dimitri out fast and never stopped giving him a hard time about it. Dimitri honestly didn’t think it was the professor’s business, but he knew they did not agree regarding that fact. It didn’t matter - Dimitri wasn’t about to change.
A light sprung from the darkness, and Dimitri immediately kicked his heels against the ladder and slowed his descent. The light brightened as Dimitri fell, and he was able to make out a hard-packed dirt floor just in time to bend his knees and soften his landing. The impact still rattled his legs down to the bone, but he hadn’t sprained anything.
Dimitri immediately jumped backwards, watching Claude come to the same conclusion and slow his descent. Unlike Dimitri, he didn’t stick the landing - he fell in an ungainly heap on the floor, gasping for breath and groaning. His hair was wildly mussed, and he looked a little green. His cape had ripped off his shoulders, and was currently hanging like a defeated flag several feet above their heads.
“What is wrong with you.”
Goddess, they’d be here all day. “You’re the one who kicked my head.” Dimitri wiped the splinters off his gauntleted hand, extending it down to Claude. Claude squinted at him in increasingly ill-hidden hatred. “Come on, have a little adventurous spirit. I thought you were here to explore the unknown?”
Claude pushed himself upwards, and Dimitri silently curled his hand and returned it to his side. Figured that Claude wouldn’t want to touch him. An expected reaction, honestly. “Sure I am. Now our way out of here is unknown too. Guess we have no choice but to press onwards.” 
“I’ll lead the way,” Dimitri said - perhaps betraying the fact that he had no intention of going backwards. “I believe we’re already out of the woods. Look yonder - see the exit?”
There was, indeed, an exit. They had landed in a narrow rectangular room, and there was clearly a door at the far corner where the right wall intersected the back wall. Light shone from within, and Dimitri eagerly led them forwards towards the light. 
He could even hear sounds, signs of life - the distant coursing of a river, and a familiar quiet symphony of sounds. They were the sounds of life - a soundscape of an ordinary day at the marketplace at the base of Garreg Mach, marked by shuffling feet and quiet voices. 
“Is that people?” Dimitri whispered, excited. “What are people doing this far underground?”
“Is that people?” Claude whispered, incredulous. “Does Rhea know about this?”
“Perhaps they’re ghosts!”
But Claude just shook his head, and for the first time he seemed a little grim. He sped up, walking briskly until he overtook Dimitri. Dimitri fell back, letting him take the lead, and listened curiously as Claude muttered under his breath. Dimitri couldn’t make out the words at all - too quiet, perhaps.
“Ghosts!” Claude hissed. “Perhaps they’re ghosts, that’s fun, not dangerous -”
“Maybe they’re an army of ghosts,” Dimitri volunteered. Claude hissed something that sounded suspiciously similar to the Almyran term for the Fodlan ethnic group. He probably mishead. “Honestly, Claude, what happened to your thirst for adventure -”
“I thought I would get to see Dimitri Blaiddyd stomp through some sewers for an hour! I didn’t expect to stumble into real life people!” Claude stopped at the entryway, peering forward into the cavernous expanse beyond them. Dimitri stopped too. Quite involuntarily. “Holy - that’s a settlement! What is a settlement doing underneath - that’s a village! There’s no way Rhea doesn’t know about that. What else is that woman hiding?”
Dimitri coughed, frozen perfectly still. Cold steel kissed his neck. “Ah. Er. Some help?” 
Claude ignored him, steadily working himself up. Dimitri had never seen Claude actually unbalanced before. It was unsettling. “Just when I thought I had five percent of that woman figured out, she pulls the rug on me again. I’ll never get anything good out of her this way. Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I might have to fall back on the B&E plan -”
“Some help, Claude!”
Instantly, Claude said, “What B&E plan?”
“Don’t move,” the beautiful ghost said. 
Claude turned around. 
Dimitri had to assume it was the beautiful ghost. The sword was raised against his neck upwards, showing that the wielder had to significantly lift her arm to hold it. The voice was unmistakably a woman’s, light and delicate and young. It wasn’t ethereal - rather, it was solid, as solid as the steel against his skin - but there was still something otherworldly about it. 
Claude stared at Dimitri, wide-eyed. His eyes traveled downwards - yes, the ghost had to be short - and he froze just as solid as Dimitri for a flat second before he relaxed. Over Claude’s shoulder, Dimitri could see the settlement stretching out before him - at the lean-tos and tents and shacks, at the people in rags milling about who were already beginning to stop and stare. The underground people were dirty, and the underground village was filthier. Dimitri immediately saw some elderly hugging the walls, and more foreigners.
Undoubtedly, Claude had seen what Dimitri saw. Claude was currently ahead of him - he was staring at the beautiful ghost with mouth agape, eyes wide. A hot flash of jealousy burst in Dimitri’s chest. Claude got to see the ghost’s face before he did! How incredibly unfair! 
“Hello, there. Sorry for…uh, dropping in.” Claude slowly raised his hands, showing himself unarmed. Dimitri wondered where he had stashed his extra arrows. “We…come in peace?”
The sword at his neck flashed. It was well-kept, but clearly old and cheap. “Who are you with.” 
“We’re not with anybody!” Claude said hurriedly. Bizarrely, he had immediately adopted an accent - a thick, regional Almyran accent, coarse and rough. “Please, ma’am, stay your sword. Don’t you have any idea who you’re holding hostage? He’s a very important person. If he goes missing your entire house will be endangered. It’s safest for everybody if you just let him go.”
The blade stilled. “...is he rich?”
“Oh, very! I know people who would pay thousands for his safe return!” 
“What did I expect,” Dimitri muttered. 
“And who are you?” the beautiful ghost asked. “Are you rich too?”
“I am but this man’s humble aide!” Claude said instantly. He bowed flamboyantly, with a distinctive Almyran flair. “A loyal and devoted servant am I, to His Royal Highness! My ten brothers and sisters wouldn’t have two coppers to scavenge together to pay a ransom, honest! Tell you what, tell you what - let me help!” Claude straightened, pulling out his most roguish and charismatic smile. “Let’s be friends, Fodlan beauty. Give me your demands, and I’ll deliver them straight upwards all the way to the top. I’ll be back with thousands! You can give the pale boy back later. If you want. How about it?”
The sword wavered. The ghost spoke again, her voice laced with doubt. “You’re both wearing the Academy uniform. Brother did say that the prince was attending school this year.”
“Beautiful and good intel sources! Surely you’ve heard of me, the Almyran vassal that follows around the prince and attends school with him?”
Dubiously, the ghost said, “Brother says that the vassal’s Duscuran…”
“I am disappointed that your brother cannot tell the difference between the Duscur and Almyran people!”
“It’s not like that…”
Claude promptly said something in - Almyran? When did Claude learn Almyran? The ghost said something back in Almyran, undoubtedly dubious. Claude pointed at Dimitri’s shoulder, showcasing Dimitri’s fine cape, and then at his own - and the distinct lack of yellow cape, which was probably still pinned to the ladder. The beautiful ghost murmured in assent - obviously Claude was a poor vassal, not a rich king, see his complete lack of cape. 
The beautiful ghost said something, and Claude’s eyes sharpened. He grinned and bowed even lower - a vassal to a princess. 
In the Fodlan language, Claude said, “Then His Highness and his loyal vassal would be honored to hold an audience with the lady’s esteemed brother.” 
“You talk stupid.” 
“You would really get along with my best friend, my lady.” 
“I’m not your anything.” The blade fell, and the beautiful ghost stepped away. “We don’t like surface people here. If you two are plotting anything, I’ll kill you.”
She said it so simply and easily, as if Dimitri’s death would be the work of nature or the Goddess and not her own two hands. Dimitri turned around, heart jumping into the throat, and met the eyes of his beautiful ghost for the first time.
The girl was solid, real, and around his age. She was wearing a strange, bastardized version of the Academy uniform, silver and embroidered with a strange symbol over the heart. Her hair gleamed navy blue and her lace stockings barely hid her defined thigh muscles. Her grip on her sword was excellent and her stance spoke of barely restrained power. The woman could kill him in a flash, and the stroke that cut his throat would shine like moonlight.
Like Dimitri loved a long fall and short impact, like he loved the light at the end of the tunnel, like he loved betting all in on the longest chances, Dimitri fell in love instantly. 
“Night night,” the love of Dimitri’s life said, before hitting him on the back of his head with the pommel of her sword, drawing black curtains over Dimitri’s eyes. 
__________
Dimitri sat in an office. A rather inauspicious turn in this kidnapping saga. 
He was sitting down because his head still hurt. He wished he was standing and showing his future brother-in-law the respect he deserved, but his future brother-in-law insisted that he tend to his probable concussion and sit. Dimitri wanted to protest - the man had already personally healed him, and his head didn’t hurt any more than usual - but the man seemed stressed enough, so Dimitri sat obediently in front of his desk. In an office. In an underground slum funded by the church. Which existed. Was that what taxpayer money was going towards?
Yuri explained the entire situation to him and Claude as he healed the bump and gash on Dimitri’s skull. For a given value of ‘entire’ - so far, Dimitri mostly just understood that the church organized a homeless encampment underground that accepted any members unconditionally and functioned roughly like its own little nation. The main encampment of Abyss was Garreg Mach itself - a basement floor of the monastery that had sunken into the ground after some unfortunate geographical events around seven hundred years ago. Dimitri wanted to ask if it was a possible problem that Garreg Mach was located in a sinkhole, but Yuri didn’t leave much time for questions.
The name of the slum was Abyss, and its inhabitants had little contact with the outside world. There were children in Abyss who had never stood in the sun, and infirm who hadn’t felt the sun’s warmth since they were well. Apparently the few inhabitants who regularly left Abyss used one of a series of secret passages in Garreg Mach, with entrances and exits that spanned the width of the monastery. These secret passages were very well-hidden, and an Abyssan well-versed in their usage could disappear and reappear throughout the monastery like…a ghost. 
They didn’t have visitors very often. Not many people knew about Abyss, and strangely enough the people in the loop didn’t care to visit a damp, filthy underground slum. They had even fewer Academy students fall down manholes and stumble into this inverted land of wonder. Hence why the sight of Dimitri and Claude caused certain Abyssans to panic. With their swords. 
These Abyssans were named Byleth, which was a lovely name. Potentially alliterative, too. 
“Your Highness.” Yuri was gritting his teeth together. “I am…so sorry.” 
“No harm done,” Dimitri said instantly. He wanted to express to Yuri that it was actually a great honor to be harmed by his sister, but he didn’t know how to say that in a normal way. “We were the intruders, after all. Byleth was just defending her home.” He turned to Byleth, who was standing stiffly behind her brother in a perfect match to Claude’s stiff stance behind Dimitri. Dimitri had barely taken his eyes off her, and yet she had failed to make a single facial expression. Fascinating. “Your swordplay was incredible, by the way. The way you held that sword to my throat was impeccable. I assume you’ve been professionally trained.”
“Here and there.” Byleth looked pleased, making Dimitri feel like a star. She pointed awkwardly at the silver sword at Dimitri’s hip. It was the same old sword Dimitri always had - some antique of the royal family, passed down from generation to generation. “I like your sword.”
Instantly, Dimitri said, “Thank you! Do you want it?”’
Byleth hummed. Yuri’s eyes widened a fraction, and Claude stifled a groan. “My sword is pretty old…”
“Here, take it.” Dimtiri immediately undid his belt and handed the sword over to her, belt and sheath and all. She held it up and admired it, testing its weight. Yuri’s jaw clenched. “Consider it my apology for following you uninvited into your home.”
Byleth nodded, twirling the sword easily in her hands. It was tremendously attractive. “Apology accepted. We’re even.” Her mouth twitched infinitesimally into something that may be loosely deemed a smile. Yuri’s eyes widened severely. “Thank you.”
Dimitri looked away, coughing. His face felt like it was going to melt off. “You’re welcome. It - ah, it suits you.”
“Do you think so?” Byleth asked, pleased. Perhaps. It was very hard to tell. Her voice was in a very strict monotone, but their deep spiritual connection meant that Dimitri could vibe these things out. “It does match my outfit.”
Dimitri would never be able to think of silver again without thinking of her. “I’m hono -”
“Your Highness.” Yuri’s voice hadn’t changed; nor had his words. His expression didn’t seem any different and his body language hadn’t shifted. But something about him was far now far less welcoming - something was different, all the same. “We’re very grateful for your gift, and for the forgiveness you’ve extended towards us regarding what happened. But it would be highly irresponsible of me to keep you here any longer. Abyss isn’t safe for somebody like you and your…vassal.”
“Khalid, sir.” Claude winked loudly at Dimitri, making absolutely certain that Dimitri understood that Claude was giving a fake foreign name. Yes, Dimitri picked up on that. “Really, wonderful place you have here. Very chic. Couldn’t possibly be that unsafe - if we had a good tour guide.”
Frostily, Yuri said, “I’ll have some scouts escort you back topside immediately. I’m certain Lady Rhea is looking for you.”
“It took her three days to notice that I tossed Lindhardt into a well, so I’m certain we have at least that long.” Claude leaned forward eagerly. “Who founded this place? Whose idea was it? Why is it underground?”
“Somebody who is no longer with us,” Yuri said, curt and even. “I’m the leader of Abyss now. And as the leader, it’s my responsibility to get future leaders of Fodlan back to their cozy beds.”
Claude flapped an easy hand. “Sure, let’s get the future leader of Fodlan back to bed. But this humble vassal’s awfully interested in this operation you’re running. Don’t suppose you could allow me to run around a bit? Check some things out? See your tax records?”
“I think even vassals have someplace to be, Khalid.”
“Why are you saying his name like that?” Byleth asked Yuri. She paused a beat. “Never mind. I don’t care.”
“There’s a great deal of places this vassal should be,” Claude said cheerfully, “but I think there’s only one place where I have to be.” He easily slid into the unoccupied chair next to Dimitri, leaning forward and folding his hands on Yuri’s desk. He had to nudge apart several scrolls of parchment and pieces of paper to do it - the man’s desk was stacked with forms, work, and quills. “Let’s put our cards on the table, huh? There’s a lot the church doesn’t tell us peons, Yuri. I’m willing to bet you know a lot of it. So in exchange for you telling me what you know, I don’t tell Lady Rhea what I know about a certain somebody trying to lop off the head of the future king of Faerghus. Sound good to you?”
Yuri crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, one thin purple eyebrow arching. “You have a lot to learn about the art of the deal, kid. What will Rhea say when she learns that Prince Dimitri and Duke Claude were out past curfew skulking around slums?”
“Duke Claude’s happily asleep in his warm bed, and every member of his House is sufficiently paid to corroborate that story.” Claude smiled winningly. “Khalid is a humble vassal interested in touring your fine slum. Khalid might also have some other gossip that you might be interested in.” 
“Like what, kid?”
Claude’s grin widened. “I might tell you tomorrow morning. After my visit.”
Yuri was silent. His eyes flickered to Dimtiri, then to Claude. He glanced at his sister. “By, wait outside?” 
Byleth nodded and exited the room. Dimtiri yearned for her achingly. But Yuri just straightened, face as blank and unreadable as his sister’s, and said something to Claude in Almyran.
For the first time, Claude was struck off balance. He looked at Dimitri, eyes wide, then back at Yuri. He said something empathetically, shaking his head, but Yuri just responded curtly.
In the Fodlan language, Claude said, “On the honor of my father and mother, no. I’m not trying to -”
“Really?” Yuri said. “You’re a novice at this con artist thing, kid. You’re too rich to do it well. Word of advice - don’t smile like you’re hiding something, smile like you’re keeping a secret.”
Claude pulled back a little, and Dimitri saw that he was almost pouting. “You don’t know me.”
“I know things about you that you don’t know about yourself.” Yuri looked at Dimitri, expression gentle and soft and bland. Like sheep’s wool, or dandelion fluff on the breeze. “Do you want to hang around Abyss a little longer too, Your Highness?”
Images of Byleth wielding his silver sword, flicking the blade in a deadly dance, spun through Dimitri’s mind. If he left Abyss now and never saw her again he would lose what little scrap of will to live he had left. Dimitri couldn’t keep losing good things. He was running out.
“Yes!” Dimitri said - a bit too quickly, a bit too empathetically. He coughed, forcing himself to settle down. “I mean - yes. As a future ruler, I should see how the other half lives. It’s important for a ruler to understand the needs of all of his people.”
It was perfectly true. It wasn’t what he was thinking, but it was perfectly true. Dimitri had the faint notion that perhaps he and Claude were missing the point of something important, something much bigger than them - than Claude’s secrets or Dimitri’s love story - but the allure of secrets and love was fairly overpowering at the moment. 
Easily, as easily as he said everything else, Yuri said, “My sister’s not on the market to entertain you. I can steer plenty of other lovely ladies or gentlemen your way, but she’s a little busy with her own work.” Yuri tilted his head, looking at Dimitri through half-lidded eyes. Dimitri flushed a little. “If you insist, I’d be happy to spare some time for you. But I’m afraid my sister is just too busy.” 
Claude stood up, chair skidding against the hard stone. “I just put my family’s name on this! As -” Claude said something quickly in Almyran, which completely flew over Dimitri’s head. “ - I am vouching for Prince Dimitri. I wouldn’t even say that for me, but I can sure as hell say it for him. You can trust us.” 
Yuri’s face was unchanged. “I’ve heard that one before.” 
And although Dimitri didn’t understand half the conversation - although he knew that there was subtext he wasn’t getting, that there were things about the world he just couldn’t see - he understood the right thing to do well enough for now. Standing in the midst of Abyss, it was clear.
Dimitri stood up, bowing low at Yuri. “I apologize for our intrusion. I see that my classmate and I have overstayed our welcome. I have no desire to add to the heavy burdens you and your village already bear. Please, if you can help escort us back to the surface, we’d be very grateful.”
When Dimtiri straightened, he saw a peculiar look on Yuri’s face. It was a little thoughtful, and a lot of another foreign emotion. “What will you do now that you know we’re here?”
“Ask Rhea how we can help,” Dimitri said immediately. Left implied: and confess to our wrongdoings, like good children. “Or you, if you’re amenable. Abyss is not located within my lands, but I am aware that many places like Abyss reside in the darkness of Faerghus. If I can do anything for you now - learn what you can teach me - then I consider it education on how to provide for my subjects in the future.”
“He’s sincere,” Claude said firmly. He stood up too, thumping his heart with a closed fist. “I haven’t been sincere since the poisoned fig incident, but I can swear too. We just want to help. So let us help - it can’t be every day you have two future leaders of Fodlan asking you what we can do for you.”
Yuri stared at them for a long few seconds, expression glazed smooth and unreadable, before he finally sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “And I suppose you want my sister as a tour guide.”
“You just said she’s busy,” Dimitri asked, tilting his head in confusion. “I assumed she wouldn’t be available to show us around.” 
Yuri narrowed his eyes - damn, the man was impeccable. Dimitri had attempted one subtle fib and he was caught out immediately. But the lie served its purpose, and something subtle in Yuri’s shoulders untensed. Dimitri hadn’t realized that they were tense at all.
Yuri opened his mouth and said -
“Boss! Did we really kidnap the prince of Faerghus?”
The door thumped open with such immense force that it smacked against the far wall. A truly giant man strode inside, followed closely on his heels by a blonde woman wearing an unsettling smile and a short dark-skinned woman picking at a cuticle. On the tail end of the party was Byleth. She nodded at Dimitri, who nodded back in a daze.
“I told them you were busy,” Byleth said serenely. 
“Yeah, busy with His Royal Highness!” The large man stopped in front of Dimitri and carefully scrutinized him from head to toe. Dimitri allowed himself to be scrutinized. “Damn! What are they feeding you Academy kids these days? You’re solid muscle. Not as much as me, but not bad either!”
Dimitri fought the urge to sweat. The women flanked the big guy, blinking at him curiously. “I train frequently.”
“Really? Guess Bye-Bye’s found another freak.” The dark-skinned woman yawned, nodding at Byleth as she stood at her brother’s side. “You should hang out. Hit each other with swords or whatever.” 
“Greetings to His Royal Highness and friend!” the blonde woman yelled, almost at the top of her voice. She put her hands on her hips, lifting her chin in the air. “Welcome to the home of Constance von Nuvelle! Our decor may be lacking, but our hospitality is second to none!”
“Really?” the other woman drawled. “I think the rats add some pizazz.”
“Silly Hapi! The rats are disgusting!”
“Bye-Bye eats garbage too, but we don’t give her a hard time about it.”
“Hospitality, huh?” Yuri smiled, and for the first time it seemed a little real. “Balthus, obviously you don’t have anything more important going on. Can you host our two noble young visitors? Who we didn’t kidnap?”
“We were a little kidnapped,” Claude said. 
Balthus grinned, propping a hand on a hip. “I dunno, are you paying me?” 
Quickly, Dimitri added, “We’ll compensate you for your efforts, of course.”
“Wait,” the dark-skinned woman asked the room, “are we holding you hostage? Because it sounds like we’re holding you hostage.”
“Sold, kid!” Balthus thumped a friendly hand on Dimtiri’s back. He didn’t stumble, which seemed to shock Balthus before he withdrew his hand and quickly covered up the motion. “You look like a good hand with a weapon. Not you, Almyran guy, you look like a wimp.” Claude narrowed his eyes, but Balthus just looked backwards at Byleth. “You should spar with our new friend, Byleth. I’ll finally get to see you knock a different musclehead on the ground!”
Constance squealed, clapping her hands. “Byleth and the new children can play together! Oh, how heartwarming! Socialization is a rare opportunity for Bylie indeed!” She looked at Yuri and stage whispered, “We cannot afford to lose this chance, Yuri!”
“Byleth doesn’t know a lot of kids her own age,” the dark-skinned woman told Dimitri and Claude. “She’s…a little awkward.”
Byleth blinked at them.
“Wow,” Claude muttered, “you don’t say.”
“I forgive you for holding a sword to my neck,” Dimitri said earnestly. “You were doing the right thing.”
“Seriously, are we holding you hostage or not?”
 Yuri’s eye twitched. But his posture had fully loosened, and the presence of the strangers seemed to make him breathe a little easier. “We aren’t. And Byleth isn't a puppy we need to socialize, Hapi. You know how noble boys are.”
“Noble boy and his loyal vassal,” Claude added quickly, sticking stubbornly to the bit. Dimitri had no idea why, but Claude rarely vocalized his reasons for doing anything. “What do you think, Byleth? Want to hang out with us, or want to stay with your brother?”
Byleth stared at both of them unblinkingly. Finally, after a long few seconds of thought, Byleth said, “I want to train with Dimitri.” 
Hapi shot a canny look at Yuri. “Balthus’ll supervise. Connie and I too, if you want.” 
For a long second Dimitri thought Yuri was going to say no anyway. Dimitri would have accepted it. It would have robbed Dimitri of the only good thing left in his life, but he would have accepted it. Good things came and left all of the time, and part of life was learning how to deal with that. Dimitri liked to fancy himself an expert in it. He could lose one more thing - one flash of hope. 
But Yuri only sighed. “Alright. Supervised. Now get out of my office, all of you, I’m far too busy to juggle nobility on top of everything else.” Claude perked up. “All of you. You want to talk about Rhea - we’ll do it after dinner.” 
“Understood!” Claude bowed at Yuri again, and Dimitri hastily copied him. “You won’t regret opening your doors to us, sir!”
“Uh-huh.” Left unsaid - he definitely already was. “Out of my office, then. I’ve been away for too long and I have a lot of work to catch up on.”
Byleth tilted her head, a frown tugging at her lips. “You should leave less often. Your work piles up. It stresses you out.” 
Yuri gave her a big smile, as if he was keeping a secret. “But if I don’t leave, I’ll never experience the joy of seeing you again.” 
“You’re corny, Yuri.” 
“Love turns even the best of us into cornballs.” Yuri and Byleth shared a look, empty and opaque, but in that blankness Dimitri saw something far deeper than he had ever experienced. “Just look at Constance. Every time she looks at herself in the mirror she gets sillier.” 
“Excuse me, my sweet Yuri -”
“You’re excused, my darling Constance.”
“Must we fight,” Hapi panned, monotone and disinterested. “We’re a family. Look. You’ll make the baby cry.”
Byleth blinked at Hapi. “But I can’t cry.” 
“Look. You’ll give the baby psychological issues.” 
Balthus laughed again, cracking his knuckles with a pop that echoed throughout the cramped office. “This’ll be fun! It’s been a while since we’ve had a good adventure, eh Yuri?”
“Yes,” Yuri said, “that’s altogether what I’m afraid of.”
Truthfully, at that point Dimitri was no longer listening. He was just looking at Byleth, the girl who could not cry. And Byleth looked back at him, the boy whose heart was always crying. They saw each other, the heart-burdened and the heartless, and something in one reached out to balance the other.
And although the weight of the world above them crushed Dimitri’s shoulders, although they stood within damp and filthy slums tucked into the bowels of the planet, for those precious few seconds Dimitri and Byleth existed in the world with no obligation to anybody but each other.
_____________
ii. 
Yuri was sitting in this bathroom fruitlessly scrubbing blood out of his one good outfit when he received word that Lady Rhea was requesting an audience. Because it was Rhea, he also received word that she was already waiting for him in the destroyed classroom. 
Damn it! He had just returned! And he didn’t have anything to wear!
In the end, he was forced to keep Lady Rhea waiting another fifteen minutes because he had to dig out an older, rattier outfit and re-do his makeup. Approach: ‘I’m in my twenties, my stare is cold and piercing, and damn it I belong in this conference room’. Then he had to waste another five minutes because his hair was a wreck and his hands still smelled like blood. By the time he finally speed-walked down the halls and skidded to a stop in front of the classroom doors Yuri was twenty minutes late and already fighting the urge to freak.
As always, he halted at the doors. He took a deep breath in, then out. His outfit was dingy, which made him feel like crap, but the power makeup helped pick up the slack. He inhaled, exhaled, shook out his limbs, and entered the classroom. 
Rhea was standing in front of a blackboard, her back turned to the door. She was dressed in an old brown cloak, but with the hood down and her beautiful green hair left to flow over her shoulders the figure was unmistakable as Rhea. She was writing in beautiful and flowing script on the blackboard with a piece of stubby chalk, and speaking in a low voice to the child standing next to her. The child was staring up at her, eyes wide, chewing on a knuckle. Th child’s dark blue hair was pulled into a stubby ponytail, and she was wearing only a tattered black dress and swimming in a brown jacket sized for a large adult man. 
“ - your name. See, this is the B…like ‘bye’. Can you say ‘bye’?” The child blinked owlishly up at Rhea. “That’s alright. You’ll get it. You’re doing a great job already.” 
Yuri coughed, and Rhea quickly turned around. With a strange start Yuri noticed that she was dressed down even more than usual, her face plain and wearing only a simple white dress underneath the cloak. Without her own makeup, she seemed tired. She smiled wanly at Yuri, who bowed back. The child turned around too, gnawing fastidiously at her knuckle. 
“Yuri. I’m sorry to call upon you again so quickly after your return. Did all go well?”
“The job was done.” Deepen your voice, sound older - sound disaffected, yet sincere. Yuri wondered if he would ever live long enough that he could stop pretending to be older. “The deceased is no longer a threat to the church.”
“He was a threat to the safety of Fodlan,” Rhea said firmly. Yuri wasn’t sure about that one, but he did appreciate Rhea’s conscientious efforts to only toss absolute bastards into his pen. “I’m afraid I must ask something of you yet again, Yuri. This is important. I cannot fully disclose to you why this mission is so important, but please trust me when I say that this is a matter extremely close to my heart.”
Yuri straightened, folding his hands behind his back. He wanted to die a bit. Another important mission? As if managing Abyss, captaining his rogues, and assassinating bastards weren’t enough missions? 
How long would she keep punishing him? 
But Yuri just bowed. It was no effort at all to keep his expression placid. “I can accomplish any mission you give me, my lady.”
“I know. That’s why I’m trusting you with this.” Rhea put both hands on the girl’s shoulder and squeezed. The girl squirmed uncomfortably. You and me both, kid. “Yuri, this is Byleth. Byleth, this is Yuri. Why don’t you say hi?”
Byleth stared at Yuri, gnawing on her finger. Somebody probably ought to slap those knuckles with a ruler. She wasn’t a young child - twelve or thirteen, perhaps - but the habit and the wide eyes made her seem younger. 
Yuri gave her his special ‘talking to vulnerable kids’ smile. “How do you do, my lady?”
Byleth stared at Yuri. A theme. 
Rhea frowned, squeezing Byleth’s shoulder one last time before dropping her hands. “She hasn’t talked much since it happened. She…doesn’t seem to remember anything.”
“Anything about what happened?”
“Anything at all. She can’t seem to recall anything about her family or her life. Darling, you ought to get your knuckle out of your mouth.” Rhea ducked her head, staring steadfastly at Byleth. The girl slowly dropped her knuckle from her mouth, looking a little spooked, before Rhea lifted her head again. “Byleth here was kidnapped. There are…some forces in Fodlan that place great value in Byleth. I don’t know how they learned about her, but they haven’t left her in peace since they found out. They’ve tried to kidnap her several times, but their latest attempt was successful. The Church knights were only able to rescue her two days ago. The knight who rescued her brought her to me immediately, and now I must bring her to you.”
“Have you spoken with Aelfric about this?”
“Of course. He’s already given his consent.” Rhea’s eyes glimmered strangely in the light. Sometimes the only emotion from that woman Yuri could truly understand was the dark depths of her sadness. “Discretion is of the utmost importance. The people after her will not give up.” 
Ah. Yuri understood. “Does she have a valuable crest?”
Rhea put a hand on Byleth’s head, slowly stroking her hair. Byleth went cross-eyed looking upwards and gawking at the hand. “Byleth is a very special girl.”
Alright, so don’t tell him. “You want to hide her and her family in Abyss?” 
But Rhea just shook her head, expression mournful. “Byleth is an orphan. She will be alone in Abyss. That’s why I must ask for your help, Yuri.”
In the girl’s big dark eyes Yuri saw only trouble. Abyss sheltered plenty of people in hiding, but the people after Byleth seemed to be on a different level. If hiding the girl here brought danger into Abyss, then…
Then she was still a girl who needed help. Yuri would deal with any danger as it came. 
“Madame Birch will be happy to take her in.” Yuri smiled at Byleth again, taking care to crinkle his eyes and gave it positive energy. “My friend Madame Birch takes care of kids just like you, Byleth. She’ll be so excited to meet you. I know some girls her age in your house who’ve been begging me for another friend.” 
But Rhea just shook her head, expression somber and firm. “The forces after Byleth are powerful. I need to place her with the strongest person in Abyss - the person most able to protect her. That’s you, Yuri. Please take her yourself.”
Ah. What?
For the first time, Yuri had to fight to keep his expression and tone still. “My lady, my workload frequently takes me out of Abyss.”
“Then I can reduce your workload.”
That perked Yuri’s ears. He was a fool for not recognizing it immediately. Rhea was desperate. Her emotional involvement in this was far greater than keeping a tool out of the hands of the enemy. Byleth had to be family somehow - maybe even a secret daughter. Having a secret daughter of Lady Rhea in Yuri’s back pocket…under his exclusive supervision…
It was a death knell if anything happened to the kid. But the leverage was too good to pass up.
Fuck, he could even negotiate right here and now. He ought to send Byleth out of the room for this, but it was important that she understood what was happening and why. As much as she seemingly could - the girl may be a little touched. It didn’t matter, obviously, but it would necessitate a change in approach.                 
“Well,” Yuri said slowly, “the greatest distraction from Abyss would be my jobs. I would like to stay in Abyss full-time. Give her a more consistent upbringing.”
Rhea’s eyebrow quirked upwards, but Yuri was unrepentant. She knew what she was doing by looping him in. “I’ll reduce the quantity of jobs I assign you.”
“To once every four months, perhaps.”
“Once every two.” 
“That would be highly detrimental for Byleth’s childhood development.”
Evenly, Rhea said, “Going forth, I will give you a job every three months at maximum. Is that a deal?”
That was fucking fantastic. Yuri was almost lightheaded, but he pressed on. “Sounds like a deal. But raising a child is no simple matter, my lady. Child-proofing the environment, educating her, feeding her…Abyss is run on a razor-thin budget. The expenses concern me.” 
Rhea sighed. “I will funnel more money into your personal budget to compensate for the expense.” Yuri waited patiently. “And into the Abyss orphanages. Anything else, Yuri?”
She could be such a sucker sometimes. Sometimes Yuri wondered if she let him do it. Definitely not. Probably not. 
“I’m satisfied. You’re as generous as always, Lady Rhea.”
“This is in exchange for Byleth’s safety.” Rhea’s expression sobered, the soft silk solidifying into stone. “In exchange for what I’m giving you, I need her safety absolutely guaranteed. Nothing can happen to this girl.”
“No need to fret, my lady. Abyss is the safest place in Fodlan. Nobody even knows we exist.” Yuri bent down a little, smiling at Byleth. She had regained access to her knuckle, and was chewing it fastidiously again. “What do you say, Byleth? Want to go home with me?”
If the girl wasn’t touched, she must have understood. She must understand that the woman who would not admit to a relationship with her had just bartered for her residency with a teenage assassin, den mother, and prostitute. All things considered, the price had been insultingly low. 
Byleth just stared at him. Alright, maybe she didn’t understand. That would make this harder. Yuri really should have asked for more money. Teach the girl the first and most important lesson of her new life: that you should never sell yourself for less than what you were worth. Or market value, if you couldn’t get any buyers otherwise. Maybe this was just market value. 
Smile, Yuri. Smile. “I think we’re going to have a lot of fun together, Byleth.” 
Byleth blinked. At least she was a quiet child. This would be easy. 
______________
This was impossible.
This was shit. Absolute and complete shit. Why wasn’t she like Bernadetta? Yuri had thought she would be like Bernadetta. All Bernadetta did was nap, read, exhaustively detail the plot of her book, and cry. Byleth couldn’t even read. Apparently, when children couldn’t read, they decided to follow you around instead.
Everywhere. She followed him everywhere. When Yuri sat in the small storage room he co-opted as an office she crawled underneath his desk and swiped at his ankles. When Yuri visited the rogue’s encampments and gave the leadership its newly tightened security measures, she ran around the training field and started waving wooden training swords around. It took three rogues to wrest a sword from her. When Yuri made the rounds of Abyss and talked to its citizens, hearing every problem and offering every condolence he could, she hovered at his heels and gawked at every conversation with wide eyes. 
It was like having another googly-eyed shadow. Yuri didn’t have five seconds to himself anymore. He couldn’t even visit the tavern and unwind by flirting with one of his regular hook-ups - something about having a thirteen year old (twelve? Fourteen?) hovering at your elbow really killed your game. This must be what the older girls used to refer to as cockblocking. 
Byleth still hadn’t said a word. She observed, but never really listened. Still couldn’t read or write. She could catch the rats scuttling around the gutters with her bare hands. The girl may be touched. Which, again, didn’t matter - but it made it extraordinarily difficult to convey to her the importance of ‘me time’. Or ‘don’t eat that’. Or ‘put down that sword’.
It was official. Byleth was a demon. Figured that the wolf in sheep’s clothing would spawn a feral little wolf cub. Yuri should have charged more. 
At least Aelfric had his back. The cardinal had little time to sneak down into Abyss, but he had begun sparing whatever time he could towards playing with Byleth. Aelfric practically begged Yuri to allow him to spend time entertaining Byleth, saving Yuri from the effort of begging Aelfric to take her. Last time Yuri checked, Aelfric spent their time together teaching Byleth her letters in the destroyed classroom. And thank the goddess for that. 
“I don’t understand why she didn’t ask me,” Aelfric said, for roughly the hundredth time. They were sitting at a stone desk in the classroom, eating a coarse but filling breakfast. Byleth was cramming a hunk of bread the size of her face into her mouth. “I have my duties, but I would have gladly forfeited them for the sake of this child. You’re barely more than a child yourself, Yuri -”
Yuri couldn’t help but bark a sharp laugh. “You do realize that you and my mother are the only people who have said that in a decade.”
“That doesn’t make it untrue,” Aelfric said gently. Yuri ducked his head, focusing on pressing a napkin into Byleth’s hands and directing her to wipe her own face. There was no way this girl even knew how to do her makeup. Ridiculous. “Rhea shouldn’t have put this responsibility on you. I don’t know what she was thinking, honestly.” 
That made Yuri feel a little defensive. Byleth pushed away her plate, gnawing on her final hunk of bread, and Yuri pulled over her writing tablet. Aelfric had even sprung for a few pieces of paper and pencils dyed bright colors. Yuri hurriedly placed the paper and pencils in front of her. Last he remembered, drawing was an activity favored by younger children, but Byleth couldn’t exactly partake in the age-appropriate activities of gossiping, bullying other girls, sewing, or reading. Goddess, did she even know how to sew or embroider? Yuri would have to teach her.
“I could beat anybody in Abyss in a straight fight,” Yuri said. He hoped his defensiveness didn’t show. It was a little harder to hide with Aelfric. “Even you. More importantly, I know how to be stealthy and hide myself and others. I know the Abyss system like the back of my hand. As far as Abyssans go, I understand why Lady Rhea thought I was the best choice.”
“I’m not doubting your talent, Yuri,” Aelfric soothed, “I just don’t understand why Rhea couldn’t have put Byleth in the care of an adult. You have enough responsibilities of your own without adding another one on the heap.”
Yuri bristled. “I’m almost eighteen.”
“Eighteen with the burdens of a thirty year old.” Aelfric sighed, and Yuri guiltily subsided too. It wasn’t right to get defensive at Aelfric. After everything the man did to help him, he at least deserved the benefit of the doubt. “I just want you to enjoy what remains of your youth. There’s a sweet nun volunteering at the orphanage -” Yuri groaned. “Yuri, why can’t you hear me out on this?”
“You’re always going on about finding a nice girl, Aelfric -”
“Because you’re re-traumatizing yourself with all of these men,” Aelfric said patiently. Yuri looked down at his hands, restraining himself from picking at a manicured cuticle. “Look at you, Yuri. You haven’t changed any of your habits. You’re still trying to appeal to men. You have to begin to heal.”
There was something heavy and old in Yuri’s chest. It was a burden that never grew lighter - a pain that never retreated. The best he could do was ignore it. But Yuri kept picking at it all the same. “It’s not my fault that men continue to approach me.”
“But it’s your responsibility to turn them down. And men wouldn’t approach you so often if you didn’t wear all that makeup.” 
When Yuri spoke, his voice was quieter than he expected. He had wanted it to be louder, stronger. But something had cut it down. “It’s not for them…”
A small, bony finger poked Yuri’s side.
He looked over at Byleth, who was staring at him with her usual wide, serious eyes. She picked up her picture and presented it to Yuri, who took it and inspected the image carefully. 
It was of them. The girl was a far better artist than he expected, and although the proportions were a little wonky Yuri could clearly recognize all three of them. They were sitting on crates outside of a tent - a tent that resembled the ones in Abyss, but was more reminiscent of a standard issue mercenary’s tent. Yuri was drawn with great care, sitting straight backed on the crate and staring straight at the viewer. His makeup was exaggerated and poorly applied. Aelfric sat on Yuri’s left, wrinkles clearly outlined and his blood-red habit engulfing his figure. The red lines on the habit seemed closer to bloodstains. 
In comparison to the rest of the drawing, Byleth’s figure was remarkably undetailed. She only drew the faint outlines of herself, with a few expressive lines demarcating an abstract face. The greatest level of detail was in the giant brown jacket she never took off - the careful impressions of its stitches and metal buttons were a strange contrast to the ghost wearing it. 
“This is excellent,” Yuri said, genuinely impressed. Sometimes it was easy to think of her as younger than thirteen-or-so, but at other times her true age was perfectly obvious. Even the ghostly Byleth felt more like an artistic choice.  “I like your usage of color. It’s very powerful.” He pointed at a spot in the upper left of the page, tucked in the corner closest to Byleth and furthest than everybody else. It was just a tight swirl of green pencil - the gradient of density between the thick middle and loose outsides giving the green a strange halo-like impression. “Is this the sun?”
Byleth gave him a disgusted look. Yuri could guess: ‘the sun isn’t green, moron’. Potentially: ‘what sun? What’s a sun? I know only the Depths’. 
“Then what is it?” 
Byleth tugged the drawing away from him, replacing it on the table and attacking the page with a pencil. Chewing the edge of the pencil, mind working furiously, she carefully wrote out a word. She stared at the word, scratched it out, and then tried again. She put down her pencil, nodded in satisfaction, and showed it to Yuri again.
He squinted at the page. In messy, juvenile script underneath the halo - with an arrow carefully drawn towards the halo, in case he missed the reference - she had written ‘SOHTHESE’. 
“Sohthese?” Yuri asked, hiding confusion. “Is that a friend of yours?” Byleth shook her head. Then she nodded. “Is…that a yes or no?”
“She’s making great progress, but her spelling needs work. Let me see.” Aelfric held out a hand, and Yuri silently passed him the page. Aelfric took one look at the page and his eyebrows jumped. “I think she means ‘Sothis’. Is that correct, Byleth?” Byleth nodded vigorously. “Where did you hear that name, Byleth? I don’t think I ever told you that.” 
Wait. That name was a little familiar. “Is that the name of a saint?” Yuri asked. “I didn’t know you were giving her catechism classes.”
“I’m not. And it’s the name of the Goddess herself. It’s not very well used - typically only scriptural scholars use it with any regularity.” Aelfric frowned down at Byleth, and for the first time his expression seemed troubled. “Where could you have heard that word…?”
“Wow,” Yuri panned, “I wonder where the secret daughter of Lady Rhea heard the name of the goddess. The world may never know.” 
“Please, Yuri, be serious.” Aelfric was still frowning, staring at the paper intently. Byleth gestured for him to give the paper back, but he didn’t seem to notice. He just stared and stared at the paper, walking mental paths far beyond the provincial little world of Yuri and Byleth. 
“Aelfric, I think she wants the paper back.”
“What? Oh, yes.” Aelfric looked up, still somewhat dazed. “Could I potentially keep this, Byleth?” Byleth shook her head no. “I see. That’s alright, then.” He passed it back, and Byleth tugged it firmly out of his hands. She replaced it on the table, smoothing it over carefully. 
“I didn’t figure you for the religious type,” Yuri told Byleth. Byleth shrugged. “Are you going to become a nice nun too?”
“There’s nothing wrong with marrying a good woman and settling down,” Aelfric scolded lightly. “A home and a family is the greatest joy a young man can have. If you don’t change your behavior, you’ll never find happiness. I’m only worried about you.”
An extensive, agonizing rip split the air. 
Byleth was holding up the carefully constructed drawing in clear view of both men. Making direct and unblinking eye contact, she looked at Aelfric and ripped the paper straight down between Yuri and Aelfric. Yuri and Aelfric stared at her in shocked silence as she finished cruelly ripping Aelfric from the paper, balling up his figure in one clenched fist and carefully replacing the cropped page on the table. Yuri, Byleth, and Sothis looked very happy together. Aelfric’s face was split in half. 
Silence burdened the room. Aefric and Yuri gaped at Byleth in pure shock. Byleth happily took a blue pencil and began threading in streaks of blue in the green halo. 
A bark of laughter escaped Yuri’s chest. His chest was light and full, and the thick iron bars that held his broken pieces together loosened and allowed him to breathe. Another burst of laughter escaped the abandoned prison, then another, and then the inmates began running the asylum. Yuri began wheezing, clutching his own stomach as he laughed uncontrollably. 
Then Byleth laughed too, a light and ugly snort. It was the only sound he had ever heard from her. After weeks, the first and only sound Yuri had ever heard from Byleth was laughter. No tears, no screams of pain, no words begging for help, no moans for food - just laughter. A small smile painting the face of the girl as silent as death.
Yuri and Byleth, two prisoners unrestrained for the first time that they could remember, laughed together in defiance. 
In the end, Byleth had given the picture to Yuri. She had forgotten about the whole incident after a few months - a few years later, when prompted about that picture and the Goddess, Byleth would just stare blankly in confusion. She didn’t remember those days well.
Yuri remembered them. He remembered the picture too. He had placed the picture between two pages of a book and hidden it inside a desk. It remained in that desk for a very long time, and nobody but him ever knew it existed.
_____________
And then he lost her. 
He lost her. Aelfric asked if he could babysit her for the day, and because Yuri was tired and wanted some time to himself and to actually go on a freaking date for once he said yes, and when Byleth’s curfew at 2100 passed she and Aelfric still were not home. Aelfric knew to get her home by curfew. He knew that Byleth had to stay in Abyss for her own safety. He knew.
Yuri combed all of Abyss, top to bottom. Images of Aelfric and Byleth floating face down in the canal flashed throughout his mind. But a rogue stationed at one of the entrances from the monastery into Abyss said that he let Aelfric and Byleth through the entrance only a few hours ago. Apparently Yuri had asked Aelfric to take Byleth to the chapel to pray. The guard hadn’t thought twice about it. Yuri was Byleth’s guardian, but it was Aelfric. Some people were above suspicion. Some people could take children wherever they wanted. 
Yuri sprinted back to his room and threw on his spare pilfered Academy uniform, stolen from the closet of a noble boy who should have known better. He pulled on the jacket as he ran, feet thumping in time with the omnipresent dripping of water and the squeak of rats, and his mind was nothing but blaring static as he unscrewed the entrance to one of the least-known entrances into the monastery. 
He climbed the ladder at top speed, stopping only to grab the stone handle at the very top of the chute. He pushed full force against the handle, and after a second he heard the hard grind of stone on stone as the mechanism was activated and shifted the statue of Saint Cethlenn to the side. It was one of the finicky trapdoors that was almost impossible to access from above ground, but relatively easy from below. Yuri often had morbid daydreams about Garreg Mach falling under attack and how he would evacuate the entire population of the school out through the tunnels. 
Yuri clambered out of the tunnel, hoisting himself into Seteth’s office. He looked around - empty, but the sound of voices echoed from the adjacent room - and quickly stood up so he could push the statue back into place. The voices were Rhea’s familiar cadence and another unfamiliar deep male voice. In any other circumstance, Yuri would have cared about revealing himself in front of a stranger.  Today, he barely thought about it. Yuri burst out of Seteth’s office and skidded into the main chambers, ignoring Seteth’s cry of alarm and the rustling sounds of the guard’s armor. Yuri only halted when he was directly in front of Rhea, looking up into her alarmed green eyes.
Yuri bent double, leaning on his knees and gasping for breath. Rhea leaned over him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. The other man in the room was absolutely huge, with big hair and bigger muscles. If it wasn’t for the Academy student’s uniform he would have assumed the man was in his thirties.
“Whoah,” the big guy said. “Where the hell did you come from?”
“Where,” Yuri gasped, hard and heavy, “is Aelfric?” 
Rhea paled, eyes widening. Fear. Why fear? “He told me he was visiting you today. What’s wrong?”
“Sounds great! So it’s official that nobody knows where Father Aelfric was, then?” The big guy waved around a thick folder of paper, one hand propped on his hip. “Because I hung out in his office for an hour waiting for him to show up to our appointment. He said it was important, too! All this stuff about helping save me from expulsion. And the guy can’t even show up? We’re talking about my future here!”
“Our guard saw him taking Byleth to the surface!” Yuri cried frantically. The big guy’s brows furrowed, but Yuri couldn’t be assed about him right now. “I can’t find Aelfric or Byleth anywhere in Abyss! Lady Rhea, you have -”
But Rhea was already straightening and turning to the guards. In a tone he had never heard before, she said, “Find Cardinal Aelfric and bring him to me immediately. Shut down the monastery until he and Byleth are found. Nobody in or out.” 
“I know where he might have gone.” The big guy flipped the folder open, flashing messy stacks of paper and ripped pages from books. “I got bored waiting around for him, so I went through his desk.” No wonder this guy was about to get expelled. “Never knew one guy could get so into his ancient mausoleum hobby. Would you happen to know anything about this, Lady Rhea?”
Lady Rhea was silent. Yuri was still shaking. He should have been shocked, he should have been horrified. But he wasn’t. Yuri knew. Yuri had always known, he just hadn’t wanted to see it. 
“This is all my fault,” Yuri whispered. He wanted to throw up. He knew this sort of nausea - the kind invoked by visceral disgust at something you found within yourself. “I let him take her. I let him run off with her. This is all my…”
The way Aelfric looked at her. The way he was constantly volunteering to babysit or entertain her for the day or homeschool her. Yuri had given him everything he wanted - every unsupervised visit, constant knowledge of her location, everything. Because Yuri had trusted Aelfric. 
Trusted. He could be doing anything to her right now, because Yuri had trusted.
Hands, unimaginably large and hairy. Sagging flesh pressing against his own. Was this how Byleth felt right now? Were big hands on her chest? Awful pain, burning like fire. What did Byleth look like when she was in that pain? Did she make the same sounds he had? The squeals and moans. Did they like hearing them from her too? 
“Yuri. Yuri, you have to breathe.” Lithe, strong hands enveloped Yuri’s hands and squeezed tightly. The melodic sound of Lady Rhea’s voice barely permeated the haze. “You’re at Garreg Mach, Yuri. You’re in the home of the Goddess. You’re seventeen. I’m here. Nothing may harm you so long as I’m here.” 
“This is my fault,” Yuri gasped. “This is all my fault.” 
“No, Yuri. Look at me.” Yuri shuddered a final breath before looking up at Rhea. Her expression was intent, but she was still so calm and composed. Yuri couldn’t say the same at all. “This is my fault. I didn’t share my suspicions with you. I’m the one who encouraged you to trust him. This was - this was all me.” 
It was? 
Rhea had known? Rhea had known that Aelfric wasn’t honest? She had known that Aelfric would take Byleth and she hadn’t said anything -
“I know.” Rhea’s expression creased, and a deep pain surfaced in her features. “I just thought…he loved her mother as I once did. Surely he would feel the same as I do…but I suppose not. People still disappoint.” 
Yuri tugged his hands out of Rhea’s, and she let them go. He scrubbed at his face, constantly fighting to keep hold of his breaths and sanity. He was not about to have another stupid flashback. He wasn’t. Not in Garreg Mach and not in front of the stupid Archbishop. He wasn’t going to catastrophize. Byleth was fine. He had fucked up and failed her and it’s all his fault that terrible things are definitely happening to her right now, but it was fine.
“I hate men so damned much,” Yuri muttered miserably. Some part of him was appalled that he had cursed in front of the archbishop, but every other part of him was far more concerned with far more important things. “I’m never trusting a man again. All men do is make children suffer.”
The big guy laughed awkwardly, passing the file folder to the somber Rhea before scrubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “On behalf of men, I guess I have to apologize. I like to think we’re not all that bad…not that I can blame a - um, you, for how you feel. Tell you what, alright?” The big guy flexed an arm, as if he was at a bar trying to impress Yuri, and clapped his hand on his admittedly impressive bicep. “I’ll save this little girl myself! I’ll chase down Father Aelfric, kick his ass, get that little girl safely home, and redeem men in the eyes of women and - ah, you, everywhere! Or my name ain’t Balthus von Adalbrecht!”
A von Adalbrecht. Great. Yuri couldn’t repress the sneer. “Your uncle yells the name of his wife’s brother in bed.”
Balthus stared at Yuri blankly. “How do you know that?”
“How do you think?”
“Oh. Oh! Oh, gross! Why’d you have to say that, man!”
“Blame him,” Yuri snapped. “I don’t need the help of some meathead nobleman. I’ll rescue her myself.” 
But Balthus just shrugged - as if this really was such a simple thing. “Why can’t we both rescue her?” 
“Because I don’t know you!”
“I just introduced myself. Balthazar von Adalbrecht, call me Balthus.” Balthus stuck out his hand, waiting expectantly for a handshake. “And who’re you supposed to be, kid from nowhere?” 
“I’m nobody. You ought to forget you ever saw me.” Rhea was already going to give him an earful over allowing himself to be seen. But Balthus was standing so expectantly, and despite that awful little trivia Yuri just shared he was still looking him in the eyes. “What do you even want from me?”
“What, you think that just because I want to help it means I want something from you?” Yes, that was exactly what Yuri thought. He wasn’t stupid. “Listen, pal. Even nobodies need some help here and there. I’m not exactly a saint, but any half-decent person would want to help you out. Since I’m the strongest, coolest guy in Garreg Mach, that means I have to help. It’s not exactly complicated.”
“There’s no such thing as decent people,” Yuri said sourly. 
Balthus whistled. “You’re a regular beam of sunshine, aren’tcha?”
“I haven’t seen the sun in weeks.”
“You haven’t what now?”
“Take Balthus with you, Yuri.” Lady Rhea’s tone brooked no argument, and Yuri had to give up. It was always a waste of time arguing with a noble. They would just take what they wanted anyway. “You two will take our elite church knights and rescue Byleth. I can lead the way - I think I know where Aelfric and Byleth are.” Rhea’s expression darkened, sending something crawling up Yuri’s spine. Seeing a dangerous expression on her felt…well, it felt more dangerous than usual. “I suspect he is desecrating a corpse right now.” 
“Wow,” Balthus said, impressed. “What the hell did I just walk into?”
“Captain Jeralt will arrive with the forces soon. We’ll leave then.” Rhea turned around, and Yuri and Balthus exchanged troubled looks. Her voice was poisonous. If she sounded like this, what expression was she hiding so carefully? “Aelfric will learn what Byleth’s true family is capable of.”
“Hell yeah!” Balthus cried, pumping a fist. “Go, fam!”
“We aren’t fam!” Yuri snapped. “What does that even mean?”
“But Lady Rhea just said that the bad guy’s gonna learn what -”
“That doesn’t make you fam.”
“But I’m on the team, and the team’s fam, so -”
“What is fam!”
At the time, Yuri’s only consolation had been the fact that he wouldn’t have to deal with Balthus for very long. He was a strong fighter with a compassionate heart, but if Yuri never saw another wealthy and spoiled nobleman again it would be too soon. Yuri hadn’t noticed when Byleth entered his heart, but that final and disastrous kidnapping session had proven it - whether they wielded the weapon or were the weapon, the people closest to you always hurt the most. Better to close your heart.
There were a lot of things Yuri hated about himself. The list was too long to count. But there was always one thing about himself that Yuri hated the most. One thing he just couldn’t stand.
Yuri just couldn’t close his heart. He just couldn’t do it. Every time he failed, and every time he had regretted it. There was no benefit to letting people in. He just couldn’t stop.
But Balthus had saved Byleth’s life that day. So maybe there was a benefit or two. Every once in a great while. 
If you were lucky. 
_________
Three days after Yuri and a moron saved a little girl from a bastard, Abyss received a visitor. 
Yuri received him outside the ruined classroom. It would probably be more professional to bring him to Yuri’s office or something, but Yuri frankly intended to get rid of him as quickly as possible. Team up with the church knights once and suddenly they think that they have the right to go stomping all around Abyss. But you couldn’t exactly tell the captain of the church knights to get off your lawn, so Yuri told Byleth that he would be back in a few minutes and stood outside the classroom in increasingly frustrated wait. 
Byleth had made big eyes at him. She obviously hadn’t wanted him to go. Ugh. He really hoped that this wouldn’t turn into a surprise administrative meeting that took five hours and never accepted Yuri’s input into anything. Yuri was re-teaching Byleth poker - she had undoubtedly already learned before she lost her memory, which was another strike against the ‘secret lovechild of Lady Rhea’ theory that had been admittedly punctured by the corpse of her mother - and she was unsurprisingly excellent at it. Girl was a genius in math.
But Jeralt didn’t show up wearing armor. He was wearing casual, battered furs, leather, and a familiar canvas jacket. Surface people were always tense and anxious in Abyss, expecting to get mugged by rats with daggers at any moment, but there was a different quality about Jeralt’s anxiety. He seemed as if he was steeling himself for something. 
“Yuri.” Jeralt’s voice was always attractively husky, but it was closer to hoarse now. “Doing well?”
Yuri bowed, noting the bandage on Jeralt’s temple. “Yes, sir. All healed up. And you? That hit you took looked nasty.” 
Jeralt huffed a laugh, rubbing the bandage. “I’ve taken hits from bigger monsters. Don’t worry about it. I would have come to visit earlier, but they only let me out of bed this morning.” Jeralt cleared his throat, shifting on his feet. “Ah…is Byleth doing alright?”
“She’s been having nightmares, but she’s fine.”
“She is?” Jeralt looked unreasonably alarmed. “Is she waking up at night? What are you doing to help? Tea -”
“She’s been sleeping in my bed the past few nights, so I’m keeping an eye on her.” Yuri eyed Jeralt, suspicions only growing. There was something off about this conversation. “Can I help you, captain?”
“Right. Ah, right.” Jeralt shifted again and coughed. Mysteriously, he took off his cap and held it tightly. “I was hoping to drop in and say hello. See how she is.” 
Like hell he would.
“Byleth is busy doing her schoolwork.” Yuri’s voice could have frozen a flame. “You’ll have to come back later.”
“We don’t have to talk.” There was something old and weary in Jeralt. His husky voice was more of a rasp. “I just want to see her.”
Before he could restrain himself, Yuri snapped, “And why do you want to see her so badly?”
Snapping at the captain of the church knights. Fantastic. This was how you protected people - by alienating everybody else who wanted to help. That would do it. 
Jeralt did want to help. The man had been withdrawn and quiet during their rescue mission, but he had been the first to rescue Byleth’s mother’s corpse and prevent it from melting into the monster. He probably would have been the first to rescue Byleth if Yuri hadn’t gotten there first - if Yuri hadn’t used a careful vein of magic to swap positions with her. Byleth had landed safely near the entrance and Aelfric had found a nasty surprise when he turned to look down upon a girl laid out on an altar and came eye-to-eye with Yuri’s dagger. 
But that didn’t mean anything. Aelfric had helped Yuri and Byleth too, and look where that got them. Yuri didn’t know anything about Jeralt. He could have ulterior motives. He worked closely with Rhea, who was nothing but ulterior motives. The only person Yuri was certain didn’t have ulterior motives was Balthus, who was just clearly too stupid. 
Jeralt didn’t grow angry or defensive. He just looked a little sad. Yuri crossed his arms, fighting the urge to bristle. “How are you holding up, kid?”
“I wasn’t the one who was kidnapped.”
Jeralt huffed a small laugh. “It ain’t exactly easy on the onlookers, either. It’s alright if you’re not alright.”
“I’ll persevere somehow.” Yuri was quickly losing track of this conversation. Why was Jeralt asking about this? “Did Rhea tell you to check up on us?
“Rhea doesn’t know I’m here. She’s…strongly encouraged me to stay away from Abyss.” Jeralt’s mouth twisted unhappily. “She’s right. I really shouldn’t be here. I just…wanted to see her.” 
“And why is that?”
For a long, long moment, Jeralt didn’t answer. Great. He couldn’t even think of a good lie. He couldn’t even say that he wanted to make sure she wasn’t injured, or assure himself that he had gotten her out of there intact - Yuri would have even believed those bland excuses. But he had nothing to say for himself at all. How suspect. 
The door creaked open, and Yuri spun around just in time to see Byleth poking her head out of the classroom. Yuri opened his mouth, ready to reprimand her and shuffle her quickly back inside where no suspicious men resided, but he was too slow. The second Byleth saw Jeralt her eyes widened, and Yuri saw her eyes light up for the first time. 
“Jeralt!” Byleth cried. 
She dived forwards, and Jeralt automatically crouched down to accept the hug. They squeezed each other tightly - Byleth hanging on for dear life, Jeralt fighting shuddering breaths. His hand pressed on the back of her lead, warm and protective. 
So she could speak. Yuri had been wondering. Her first word of her new life was…Jeralt. That was fine. Good for her. And Jeralt.
“Hey, kid,” Jeralt rasped, throat thick. “How’ve you been?”
Byleth patted the top of his head. 
Alright, that was enough. Yuri took the white collar of Byleth’s neat little navy blue dress, pulling gently until he reeled her back away from Jeralt. The effect was somewhat like a scruffed kitten, but whatever worked. Yuri’s carefully tied puffy twin pigtails didn’t help the kitten impression. 
“Don’t run towards strange people,” Yuri scolded. “This is why you keep getting kidnapped.”
Byleth wriggled around until Yuri finally sighed and released her. Jeralt slowly rose, but Byleth ran back towards him and tugged hard at his jacket. Jeralt raised a patient eyebrow, watching Byleth carefully. 
Yuri had distantly noticed it before, but now that Byleth drew attention to the jacket it was obvious. It was a very familiar jacket. Not identical to Byleth’s old one - the giant canvas jacket that she never took off - but it was similar in fit and cut. 
“What do you need?” Jeralt asked. Byleth tugged harder at the jacket, as if she was trying to pull it off him. “Use your words, kid. You can do it.” Byleth heroically attempted to rip the jacket from Jeralt’s body. Yuri made a strangled noise, but Jeralt didn’t blink. “You have to start speaking up sometime. I bet Yuri over there wants to hear your voice too.” 
Byleth’s eyebrows ticked together, but she finally released the jacket. She stared fixedly at Jeralt, who amicably allowed himself to be stared at. Finally, she said, “Aelfric lost jacket.” 
Automatically, Yuri corrected, “Aelfric lost my jacket.”
“Aelfric lost my jacket,” Byleth parroted. She poked at Jeralt’s canvas jacket again. “I want the jacket again.”
Turned out that there was one way Byleth could be even more trouble - opening her mouth. Yuri sighed, already regretting his life. “Byleth, you’re being incredibly rude. You can’t just ask adults to -”
But Jeralt was already shucking his jacket, with no hesitation or thought, and passing it to Byleth. She brightened, clutching the thick material tightly and burying her face in it. She smelled it deeply, making Jeralt’s expression crease into something absolutely unfamiliar to Yuri, before swinging the jacket on and allowing it to swallow her up yet again. This edition went to her knees, looking far more like a baggy coat than anything else, but she beamed up at Jeralt in absolute joy anyway. She turned to Yuri, spreading her arms out and silently bragging about how great her new jacket was.
Something that should have been obvious weeks ago suddenly became extremely obvious. “You’re the one who gave her that first jacket. The one she never took off.” 
“She never took it off?” Jeralt smiled a little, but the weight on his shoulders only seemed to grow. “I gave it to her after I rescued her from her kidnappers last time. She was - ah, she just seemed cold. I assumed she had thrown it away or something.”
“You’re the one who rescued her?” Hadn’t Lady Rhea mentioned something about this? “Wait - are you the one who brought Byleth to Garreg Mach?”
“Yup. It’s why I wanted to see her again.” Jeralt patted the top of Byleth’s head, who swelled her chest in pride. “She’s picked up a habit of getting into trouble.”
That did explain it. No wonder he was invested. After so much work invested in keeping her alive, Yuri would want to check up on her too. Why couldn’t he just say that?
Byleth looked seriously up at Jeralt. “Thank you for the jacket.” 
“I knew you had manners in there somewhere.” Jeralt crouched down again, looking just above Byleth’s head. Yuri had noted weeks ago that she didn’t like eye contact, but it seemed that Jeralt knew that too. “Try not to lose that one. But if you do, come right back to me and I’ll give you another one. Alright?”
Byleth nodded. 
Jeralt sighed. He put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. Byleth leaned into the touch a little. “Be more careful from now on. Your world will only grow more dangerous as you get older. You have to be ready, so train hard.” Impulsively, he took the cap off his head and placed it on her own. It fell over her eyes immediately, far too large for her, but she hurriedly pushed it upwards. “Listen to that brother of yours. His life looks hard enough already, so don’t make it any harder.” 
Byleth’s eyes widened. “Brother?”
“Brother?” Yuri squawked. “Please, Captain, Rhea hired me to supervise her. This is just an arrangement.” 
Jeralt shifted to look at him, and Yuri saw flint in his eyes for the first time. “We need to separate Byleth from her past life even further. We don’t know if Aelfric told anybody about the identity of Byleth’s mother. Connecting her to you is safest for both of you. Guess I should have asked first, but it’s a matter of her safety.” 
“This is an arrangement.”
“Then arrange a fake relationship. You need some excuse for why you’re joined at the hip. Pretend she’s some orphan you took in under your wing - it’s not even a lie.” Jeralt straightened, turning to look at Yuri for the first time. His expression was somber and serious, but he looked smaller without his jacket. “Look, kid. I admit I wasn’t happy when Rhea passed her off to you. Rhea has her own reasons for everything she does, and you’re…” 
He trailed off, clearly struggling for political correctness, before Yuri took pity on him. “An ex-whore who moonlights as Rhea’s lackey?”
“Saints, kid, that’s not what I was about to say -”
“What’s a whore?” Byleth asked loudly.
Yuri looked down at her. “Somebody who’s so good at something that they never do it for free.” Byleth nodded sagely, and Yuri looked back up at Jeralt. Jeralt didn’t seem happy, but Yuri wasn’t paid enough to entertain him. “And even if you weren’t crass enough to say it, it’s the truth. You don’t trust Rhea and I do whatever she says. Trust me, Captain, I wouldn’t be happy either. You don’t have to cozy up to me.”
“I wasn’t happy because you’re seventeen years old,” Jeralt said firmly. Yuri rolled his eyes. Not this shit again. What was with adult men always reminding him that he was in his teens? Did they get off on it or something? “I knew Rhea would put her with somebody she trusted absolutely. I just didn’t want that person to be you.” 
Of course he didn’t! Who the hell would? Yuri was beginning to have a sneaking suspicion about Jeralt’s relationship to Byleth - nobody else would have thought to rescue a corpse before an imminent battle - and no self-respecting father would want their daughter around somebody like Yuri. Byleth was pure and innocent. As innocent as a thirteen year old could ever be - wiped clean of her old life, completely noncognizant of the world around her. How often had she seen the sun since she met Yuri? She hadn’t even spoken before now. The girl had a damned imaginary friend, for heaven’s sake. Byleth was innocent in every way, and Yuri was filthy.
“Saints, kid, don’t give me that face. It’s not because of your background. It’s just obvious that you have more than enough on your plate. Don’t you have a city to govern? Evil errands to run for Rhea? I just don’t know how the hell you have time.” 
“Do you think I can’t do it?” Yuri snapped. “I have more than one skillset, you know.”
Jeralt exhaled heavily, scrubbing his face. “You are the least charitable - never mind.” He was uncharitable? Maybe he just didn’t buy stupid lies. “None of this is coming out right. What I’m trying to say is that you need whatever help you can get. Calling yourself siblings would make your life easier. But I’m hardly going to force you into it. Do whatever you want, kid. I’m not in charge of you.” Slightly quieter, he said, “I’m not in charge of either of you.” 
Yuri wanted to call Jeralt a bad father. He knew already that Jeralt was probably the best father he’d ever met. Taking up a job with somebody he clearly hated for the sake of staying near a daughter he was barely allowed to see. Who he couldn’t even claim, because some mysteriously evil people were after her and she was safest in complete anonymity. Some fathers would cheer at the opportunity to ditch their daughters, but the pain in Jeralt’s voice was real. And yet he wanted to tie her to Yuri. 
It would only contaminate her. He was already ruining her. Yuri had to stay away, he had to keep her out - if only for her own sake. To protect her from Yuri, and to protect Yuri from the world. Yuri couldn’t let anybody else inside. Too dangerous for everybody.
But refusing Jeralt’s proposal wouldn’t protect her from the world. And maybe a father was thinking about a factor that Yuri had missed completely. 
The fact that her mother was a shockingly well-preserved corpse and her father had to disown her. Rhea was somehow related to her, which was bad enough, but she couldn’t claim her either. Even Yuri had a mother. To the world, Byleth was alone. That was…
“Fine.” Yuri had lost this battle. He had probably also lost the war. Whatever. He fought for his own side anyway. “But I won’t force her to call me that. She’s not terribly attached to me.”  
It was the rational thought. Yuri had repeatedly left her alone with a freak and allowed her to get kidnapped again. It was a miracle her real family hadn’t fired Yuri the second she got kidnapped. 
But Byleth’s brow furrowed in outrage. Yuri fought the urge to startle - he had almost forgotten she was there. “I like you.”
The words stopped Yuri short. He wasn’t sure why. They weren’t strange words, were they? 
His hesitation must have been obvious, even to Byleth, because she promptly grabbed him in a giant hug. It was small, comforting, and warm. Her small body fit nicely next to his, and when he folded his arms over her he could almost envelop her. 
Jeralt just gave him a wry grin. “I guess you were too far away to hear. Remember how I was right next to you when you swapped positions with her?” Yuri nodded. “When she appeared in your place, I scooped her up and put her on my horse immediately. I think she knew what had happened. She called out your name. Damn near tried to jump from my horse and run towards you too.” 
That didn’t seem right. But she had hugged him after the fight, hadn’t she? Balthus had called it adorable. Come to think of it, Balthus had asked if Byleth was his sister too…Yuri hadn’t known what to say. He didn’t know what to say now.
Jeralt propped a hand on a hip, smiling. “You see that, Byleth? Yuri didn’t know you liked him. From now on you’ll have to speak up and tell him you like him a lot.” Byleth nodded fastidiously. “Attagirl. Hey, can you take that book from the inside pocket and pass it to your brother? It has something he might want to see.” 
Byleth eagerly separated from Yuri and completed the errand, pulling out a small book from a jacket pocket and passing it to Yuri. Yuri opened it and began flipping through it, just barely catching scraps of documents and notes that came slipping out. 
“Check the last few pages,” Jeralt said. “We found it in Aelfric’s things. Actually, that klepto student found it. Is that guy a friend of yours or something?”
“Or something,” Yuri muttered. 
Byleth stared up at Jeralt. “Is Balthus my brother too?”
“No,” Yuri said.
Jeralt shrugged. “If you want. He’s rich, so maybe you can fleece him.”
“I already tried,” Yuri said distantly, flipping through the book. Something about four crests…notes on a very familiar crest. Balthus’ pilfered paperwork had already revealed that Aelfric had targeted him for his crest. That had burned. Yuri was trying not to think about it. “He’s broke and only attracted to older women.” 
Pity, too - Yuri could have had an excellent sucker on that reel. He made his move during the ‘post-rescue a little girl drinking party!’, but Balthus just pointedly pretended he didn’t pick up on what Yuri was doing and started talking loudly about how Yuri reminded him of a hypothetical younger brother. It was frustrating. Yuri still didn’t know why Balthus had helped him. There was probably a secret motive that Yuri just hadn’t picked up on yet. Or maybe Balthus actually -
Yuri stopped short. This page was about Balthus. About the von Adalbrechts, and some sort of mysterious crest in their family legend. Right alongside a personality profile on Balthus…notes on his attendance and conduct issues…character notes…records of meetings and conversations with Balthus…lists of broken school rules…apparently psychologically unstable…
Yuri flipped a page backwards. It was on him. He caught a few paragraphs on his history before he quickly flipped forward. He didn’t want to know what Aelfric thought of his personality. Probably just called him a slut for two straight pages. Definitely marked him down as psychologically unstable.
But there were people besides Yuri and Balthus in the notebook. Right after Balthus’ incomplete profile, there was another name and short descriptor. Constance von Nuvelle. Another rich bitch noblewoman. Current student of the Fhirdiad School of Sorcery…extremely high grades for her first few years at the school before they plummeted half a year ago. Now at risk of dropping out. Extensive record of conduct issues, same as Balthus. Aelfric made note of…severe psychological instability, whatever that meant. And a certain crest…
Yuri flipped through Constance’s profile until he found another. Hapi, no last name - a commoner. Extensive hypothesizing on the power of her crest and little information about her. Current resident of a church in the middle of nowhere. Psychologically unstable.
“This explains why Aelfric was having those private meetings with Balthus,” Yuri muttered. “I guess we both have powerful crests. These two women must also have powerful crests…but why keep tabs on them specifically? Why keep tabs on all of us?”
“Aelfric talked about blood a lot,” Byleth said seriously. Yuri really shouldn’t have left him alone with her. 
“I should contact Lady Rhea about this,” Yuri said. He continued flipping through the book - going through Yuri Leclarc, Balthus von Adalbrecht, Constance von Nuvelle, and Hapi’s profiles again and again. Four strangers placed right next to each other, thrown together by fate. “She’ll definitely be interested in learning about Constance and Hapi.” 
Byleth peered over his arm, trying to take a glance at the book. Yuri let her. She could barely read. Maybe secrets would incentivize her to keep learning. “Are they important?”
“Probably not,” Yuri said. 
But even then, he had lied. Even then, he had already known. 
Call it intuition. 
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begitalarcos · 24 days ago
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Life Update
Hey Guys
I know I said I was coming back, and I fully intended to. Then I injured my back... badly
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I ruptured a disc in my back on one of my lowest vertebrae and now have lost most of the feeling in my left leg :(
In the next week here I'm being scheduled for spinal surgery.
Strangely I'm doing okay. Since my last post a lot of things have gotten sorted (mostly family drama) which has taken a huge weight off of me. Then I fell on the stairs. I only fell down two steps but Ianded hard on my butt and then hit my back against the stair.
This was almost 2 months ago, and I was going to physio for it until my disability decided not to cover it. I was sent to an "Impartial" specialist who had the nerve to tell me that most of my pain was likely "Psychological" haven't had that kind of flippant disrespect about my health in awhile.
On the 30th of October I went to lay down for a nap, when I woke up just the act of sitting up left me in agony. My wonderful husband then spent the next few hours with me using hot and cold compresses and trying to help me get through the pain because the hospital said it was probably just sciatic pain... Halloween rolls around and I've lost all feeling in my left thigh.
I decided "FUCK IT" and went to emergency, where after a good 9 hours I finally saw a doctor who would take me seriously. And by that time my entire left thigh, part of my calf, and most of my back end and groin were completely numb. They took my sock off and my foot was grey. It was pretty scary.
The doctor there did a battery of tests for everthing he could think of, he did manage to get a bit of feeling back into my calf and foot with an injection. But everything else was still pins and needles. I had an MRI and well.. as you can see the lower disc was pushed so far out it was impinging on all the nerves to my left leg.
I spent Halloween and most of the next day in emergency. Had a lovely panic attack, got mildly sedated, there were no beds so I was stuck in a shitty recliner in a corner between two drug attics. One who wouldn't stop complaining and then throwing fits and the other who had some kind of blood borne illness with open sores. It was fucking terrible.
Today I had to drive almost 2 hours to another city to see a neurosurgeon who was also livid no one had done anything for me in over two months and said that even with surgery I may never get full feeling back in my leg (cries) This then followed more X-rays, blood work (7 vials taken oi vey) and an ECG.
Turns out I also have a rare heart defect - that only one other person in my family has - that causes my heart to skip a beat every third beat. They also (because I'm anemic) had to go through the process of signing a ton of forms for the possibility that I may need a transfusion during or after surgery....
This was supposed to be a short post I swear -_-
Thursday I have to go for a full physical and do even MORE paperwork, and then drive again 2 hours away to another city to have my surgery.
FML
So yeah, I still very much want to be creating and posting I just haven't been able to sit or concentrate much as I am taking pain killers (that do not want to work with my antidepressants) so I've either been completely out of it or just stuck doing one thing and one thing only (which has mostly been just riding around in RDR2 hunting, fishing and exploring) I also finished the new Zelda game cuz... well I've been laying down a lot.
Holy Jeebs have I been bored. In between that I've also been trying to keep GiraffeBarn active and get into a few local stores again.
2024 has been hectic and chaotic.
I'm hopeful that the new year will bring me some much needed peace and clarity.
So yeah, I'm not gone, I'm still lurking about and I still plan to post again (when I can)
I miss you all so very much (especially my wifey <3)
Hope you all are well
much love
B
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clownmoontoon · 8 months ago
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LIFE UPDATE HI HI HELLO!!
ITS BEEN A MINUTE!! HELLO!! OVO)/
THIS YEAR HASNT QUITE GONE AS PLANNED JGHFGHG i rlly wanted to have posted so much more art by now buuuut unfortunately my health hasnt been the best STILL WANNA DO SO MANY THINGS BUT ITLL BE LATER IN THE YEAR OR NEXT YEAR POSSIBLY 
long story short i spent jan thru feb sick with "infected lymph nodes" and then found out (completely unrelated to the infection) that my uterus was full of tumors! so i had to have surgery to get all that mess out right away! luckily all of them were benign but they were still fuckin my body up quite a bit! when the doc was done he told my mom that the surgery was one of the hardest hes done in a while and that he took out almost 3 POUNDS OF TUMORS SLDKJSD he also took out my uterus bc theyd just keep growing otherwise so im feeling very physically nonbinary LOL ALSO THE SURGERY WAS THE DAY OF THE ECLIPSE SO THAT WAS PRETTY COOL ( i did miss SEEING the eclipse bc of it tho lmao)
so yeah that surgery was monday (the 8th) and now im back home recovering after spending a few days in the hospital NOT SICK ANYMORE!! but still kinda sore n medicated SO YEAH THATS WHY ITS BEEN KINDA QUIET HERE AND DISCORD my energy comes in waves and ive been sleeping a lot ^^; I HOPE UR ALL DOING WELL AND IM LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING MUCH MORE ACTIVE ONCE MY RECOVERY IS DONE!! \OUO/
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captainsophiestark · 7 months ago
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Smooth Talker Part 2
Poe Dameron x Reader
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Masterlist - Part 1 - Join My Taglist!
Requested on Wattpad! I normally don't do Part 2 requests, but an idea for this one popped immediately into my head and I couldn't let it go :)
Summary: Through a truly ridiculous series of events, you've managed to become a *triple* agent for the Resistance, being sent back to your original base by the First Order as a trusted spy after spending time as a Resistance spy in First Order territory. You can't wait to be back home, and even better, to tell your boyfriend Poe Dameron just what level of bs you managed to pull off.
Word Count: 1,522
Category: Fluff, Humor
Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.
I tried to keep a smile off my face as I stood, back straight and hands behind my back, facing General Armitage Hux. He'd been my main point of contact for the past few months after he'd been the one to recruit me as a First Order spy, and the fact that I hadn't laughed in his face a single time that he'd been telling me all about what being a spy would entail was a true testament to my skills.
I'd been undercover for the Resitance deep in First Order territory when he'd come knocking with a bunch of soldiers because he suspected my apartment was a hideout for Resistance sympathizers and activity. And, to be fair, he was right. Poe Dameron, my boyfriend, had snuck in for a rare visit and left literal minutes before Hux and his friends showed up. But I'd done such a good job answering their interrogation questions that, instead of arresting me, they'd recruited me.
Now, after months of preparing, I was being sent on my way to find and infiltrate the Resistance's base. I'd need to be careful not to blow my true allegiances, but once I got out of range of the First Order and was only expected to make occasional reports, I couldn't help thinking this would be my easiest assignment yet.
"Are we clear on communication protocols and the kind of information we're most interested in?" asked Hux as I tuned back in to the end of his lecture. I nodded once, curtly.
"Yes sir."
"Good. Then best of luck to you. You're doing your Order a great service."
I saluted, fast and sharp, exemplifying the unshakeable, blind commitment they looked for in their recruits. I held it for a few moments, then Hux nodded and I let my hand fall back to my side.
"I look forward to hearing what you have to report."
The march through the rest of the ship felt like a dream. I was being dropped fairly far from anywhere the First Order suspected of being a Resistance base to make sure no one would be suspicious of me, but I was still closer to home than I'd been in a long, long time. I could swear I felt the latent tension of the past six months ease out of my shoulders as I watched the ship disappear without me on it.
I took a moment to enjoy the feeling, then quickly got my head back in the game. There was still a chance, however slim, that Hux was playing me. If I wasn't careful, I could accidentally lead the First Order right back to the Resistance base they'd spent so long looking for.
I spent the next week doing my due diligence, making sure no one was following me and that I didn't have a tracker on me anywhere that I didn't know about. I sent a brief update to Hux through the convoluted method we'd come up with for contact, telling him that I had a lead and was going to follow up on it, and then I finally started the trek home.
When the entrance to the Resistance base finally came into view another full week and change later, my heart leapt. It was vital to my cover that I didn't let myself dwell on how much I'd missed this place while living among First Order personnel, but now that I was finally safe, I almost starting crying at the sight of it. I hadn't really realized how badly I'd wanted to be back here until now.
I walked the rest of the way up with a massive smile on my face, scanning the crowd for anybody I recognized. I got some strange looks, largely from newer recruits who didn't know me, but then finally I found one of the people I was most hoping to see.
Poe Dameron stood just across the hanger with his back to me. I grinned and started walking towards him with purpose, and after a moment, the person he was talking to noticed me and pointed over Poe's shoulder. Poe turned around with a frown that quickly changed into a confused but beaming smile, then started rushing towards me. I sped up too, until we were running towards each other across the hanger. As soon as I got in reach, Poe picked me up and spun me around in a tight hug, then set me back on the ground only to pull me into a searing kiss. I kissed him back just as hard, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and tangling my hands in his hair. I ended up breaking the kiss as a joyful laugh bubbled out of me; finally we were together without the looming threat of a First Order solider at the door ruining the moment.
"What... what are you doing here?" he asked, still smiling and completely breathless. I laughed again, joy overflowing in my chest as I looked at the man I loved.
"You'll absolutely never believe it," I said with a crooked smile. He raised an eyebrow at me, so I continued. "I've been recruited as a spy for the First Order."
"...You what?"
I laughed as Poe stared at me, brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what was happening. I couldn't exactly blame him–I still wasn't totally sure how I'd managed to get here.
"It's the craziest story you'll ever hear, and I promise to tell you every last detail later tonight. But right now, I should really go and see Leia."
"Now hold on a minute," Poe said, grabbing my waist and pulling me a little tighter to him. As if I'd be moving away from him voluntarily any time soon. "You have to give me a little more than that, first."
I smiled. "Okay, but you have to promise not to freak out when I tell you the first part."
Poe frowned, looking incredibly nervous, but nodded anyway.
"Alright..."
"So remember the last time I saw you, when you visited me in the apartment where I was hiding out to spy on the First Order? Well that same night, right after you left, General Hux and Kylo Ren themselves came knocking with a whole host of troopers at their backs."
"They WHAT?"
"You said you wouldn't freak out! Just listen."
I could see Poe practically vibrating and fuming with delayed panic and about a thousand questions, but to his credit, he managed to hold them back with nothing more than slightly tightening his grip on my waist.
"Well, they asked me a bunch of questions because they thought a Resistance spy base was operating out of my apartment-" Poe winced, but I ignored him and kept going. "-and I answered the questions well enough that they decided I was clearly a loyal member of the First Order with a passion for them and their rule. So, instead of arresting me, they recruited me to be a spy! Of course I said yes, and now I'm here as a triple agent, so I can feed them a bunch of bad information, or information that comes just a little too late for them to do anything about it while still being correct, all while being here again, on base with you and everybody else."
Poe huffed a disbelieving laugh, just staring and blinking at me for a few moments while he processed. Then a smile spread across his face again, even as he shook his head.
"That is... incredible. I can think of about a thousand other things I could say about it too, but... just wow."
"I know," I said with a grin. I stepped back slightly out of his embrace, then took his hand instead. At some point we would have to go do separate activities on base, but I didn't plan on spending a second away from Poe right now until I had to. "Now, I need to go talk to Leia and Major Ematt about all this. Come with me?"
Poe matched my grin, still shaking his head but letting me pull him out of the hanger base with me.
"Of course. I'd follow you anywhere, you absolute maniac."
I just laughed as Poe fell into step beside me, our hands still held tight as we marched through the base. By no means was this war over; we still had so much work to do, and being back on base didn't even come close to putting me out of danger. But now I was in danger and fighting alongside Poe and all the people I cared about, while still putting my skills as a spy to full use. It was the best of both worlds, and in the middle of fighting back against an Empire that just didn't want to stay down, victories like this alongside loved ones were the things most worth fighting for.
****************
Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989
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duckprintspress · 10 months ago
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Ongoing Pre-Order Campaigns: Updates!
Now that we’ve finished our month-long push for our Kickstarter campaign for Aether Beyond the Binary, we have space and time to talk about literally anything else on our social media (lol). We’ve gotten a couple private inquiries about the status of our other projects, so here’s an overview of progress on our current publishing projects (we’ve also got a couple art projects in the works, but that’s a topic for another day).
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To Drive the Hundred Miles by Alec J. Marsh
fulfillment on the crowdfunding campaign is complete
as of January 20th, the book and leftover merch are now available on our webpage!
e-book
print book
tarot card and spell jar recipe postcard/art print
trans pride mountainscape sticker
you can also get the e-book and print-on-demand print book through major retailers and through the library of your choice – you can even special order the book at your local bookstore!
I also have a small number of the campaign deer antler pendants left; if you want one, feel free to contact me privately!
Missed the campaign and curious about the book? Read the first chapter as a sneak peek!
Aim For The Heart: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Alexandre Dumas’s The Three Musketeers
fulfillment on the crowdfunding campaign for our most recent anthology is complete
as of January 20th, the book and leftover merch are now available on our webpage!
e-book
print book
campaign bookmark
front cover magnet
coat-of-arms enamel key chain
musketeer dux die-cut sticker
you can also get the e-book through major retailers and can request it through your library
we’re working on reformatting the book to a slightly different size so that we can also offer it print-on-demand to major retailers, local bookstores, and libraries everywhere
Hockey Bois by A. L. Heard
all merchandise has been received and prepared for distribution
trade paperback books have been received
the proof of the hardcover edition has been approved, and the hardcover edition is in production
according to our book printer, BookLogix, we should expect delivery of the hardcover edition in roughly a month (around the end of February)
once we’ve received all items necessary for fulfillment, we will send out everyone’s orders as quickly as possible
Aether Beyond the Binary
the crowdfunding campaign for our next anthology successfully concluded yesterday!
we are putting finishing touches on stories
we are preparing templates suitable for printing our merchandise
we’ve begun to gather information from backers necessary fulfillment
most fulfillment activities are on hold until the funds clear and we can actually place orders; this will take roughly three weeks
Many Drops Make a Stream by Adrian Harley
fulfillment on the pre-order campaign is complete
as of January 20th, the book and leftover merch are now available on our webpage!
e-book
print book
art print of the front cover
campaign bookmark
tiger transforming to a goose enamel pin
tiger transforming to a goose dux die-cut sticker
you can also get the e-book and print-on-demand print book through major retailers and through the library of your choice – you can even special order the book at your local bookstore!
I also have a small number of the campaign “Eye of Sacarus” pendants left; if you want one, feel free to contact me privately!
Missed the campaign and curious about the book? Read the first chapter as a sneak peek!
Other Projects
Many Hands: An Anthology of Polyamorous Erotica: stories for this collection are being edited, with progress ranging from “barely started” to “almost done.” We’re just beginning to discuss the books internal appearance, and are waiting on the final cover from the artist we’re working with. We expect to release the contributor list in the next few weeks and hope to crowdfund the anthology during the spring.
Untitled Best Of Anthologies: we’ll be doing two anthologies – one general imprint and one explicit imprint – featuring stories published to our Patreon and webpage before September 31, 2023. Most of the stories have been set, and we’ll beginning work on the cover and campaign features soon. We expect to launch this during the summer of 2024.
A Truth Universally Acknowledged: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice: recruitment for this anthology closed on January 15th, and we will be selecting contributors and notifying them by January 31st. We expect this campaign to be ready for launch in roughly a year (late 2024 or early 2025).
Untitled General Imprint Anthology: we’re in the very preliminary stages of discussing a theme for our next general imprint anthology, and we expect to open recruitment for it in the late spring, with an expected publication date of summer, 2025.
Scrap Metal Angel by Nicola Kapron: our next novella project, we are working on final editing, and once that’s done we’ll begin work on a cover, artwork, and other campaign aspects. We don’t yet have a time frame on pre-orders, but definitely during 2024, before the fall.
The Twinned Trilogy by Tris Lawrence: we still have a great deal of editing to complete on this project, but covers are done and the pre-launch page is on Kickstarter. We’re aiming for spring or summer 2024 for crowdfunding.
We have several other novellas and novels in the pipeline, but none that we’re ready to announce yet. Be on the look-out!
Want to always know the latest on what we’re working on? Want a say in what we work on next? Want behind-the-scenes access, more information, awesome extras, free stories, and more? Want exclusive extra merch for supporting our future campaigns? Best yet: want the joy of supporting queer independent publishing? If you said “yes” to any of these, there’s no time like today to become a backer of our Patreon!
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elvisabutler · 2 years ago
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1K gala prompt request with number 22 fluff based on your last update where Professor Presley finally takes Belle to Hawaii? Can they have their babes with them?
soak up the sun
fandom: elvis presley | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: t for some implications but again pretty tame pairing: elvis presley ( professor big daddy ) x female reader ( nicknamed belle ) word count: 1071 warnings: no use of y/n. student/professor relationship ( former ). talk of babies. talk of pregnancy. talk of overworking. minor sexual implications. think that might be everything? author’s note: thank you for this anon! this was adorable and considering around this i also got an angst prompt for them that has crushed my soul it was a perfect thing for me to write. this is done for my 1k gala, based on fluff line “this vacation was a wonderful idea.” y'all know the drill, real elvis or austin elvis works fine for this despite the moodboard. also part of the professor presley universe that keeps growing by the day.
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What they don't tell you about having full time jobs- or in Elvis's case, you suppose a part time job- and having more than one child is that things get hectic rather quickly. You forget to do dishes, houses tend to have toys strewn about and you can't really breathe from the second one child wakes up until the last child goes down at night. It is a constant chase and one that you and Elvis have actually handled with remarkable ease all things considered. Sitting in on classes with babies bouncing in laps, learning how to balance a baby on a hip while holding the hands of the toddlers, teaching your twins to not be idiots- Elvis's and your words- and run into traffic. You've- You've made it work better than you thought was possible. Honestly, if someone were to ask you now that your youngest was almost old enough to go to school, you kind of wouldn't mind one final baby to make it a nice even four.
You haven't mentioned this to Elvis, too busy playing with the ones you have in between grading papers and keeping in touch with friends while he's stuck running the department and getting into an argument or five about how his department is important and he'll keep his wife on tenure since the half of them have their damn kids on tenure. Still, the thought is there, hidden in the back of your mind when Elvis surprises you with a question one night in bed.
"Ya 'member when I said I'd take ya to Hawaiʻi?" His hand stills against your back, waiting for your answer as you look up at him from your comfy perch on his chest. You take a moment to nuzzle into his slightly greying chest hair and nod.
"I do. Mentioned before the twins, after the twins, and after Jesse but we've always been too busy. Why?"
"Might've gotten the school to let us roam free for a few weeks, if ya wanted t'go still." His answer's a little bashful, almost like he's prepared for you to tell him there isn't time and the twins can't miss school but instead you end up launching yourself at his lips and peppering his face with kisses all while laughing in agreement.
The flight had been a disaster as had getting to the hotel but after that, you have to admit this was the best idea in the history of ideas that Elvis had ever had. It's as if any tension that had been stored just was washed away in the sea water and the warm sun. Your twins and Jesse are busy playing in the sand near you and Elvis as you both let the sun soak into your skin, bringing life you didn't know you needed back into it. One week in and Elvis- Elvis almost looks like a different person if you're being honest, a healthy sort of tan coating his skin that has you wanting to jump on him every second of the day. Of course, those activities are confined to the later parts of the day but from the looks you give him, he knows they're there.
"Belle." He warns as you scoot your chair closer to him. "You keep lookin' at me like that 'n 'm gonna hafta get Jerry over here to watch the kids."
"And that's a problem, because?" You giggle as you reach for his hand adjusting a towel over your lap as if you're going to do something that requires hiding your lap. He glares before you drop his hand. "I can't help it, you look-"
"Like a new man?" He chuckles. "Darlin' ya know- still the same ol' man ya married. Just got a lil more color on me."
"I know, but it's- It suits you, Elvis." You bite your lower lip and sigh, looking out at your kids. "This vacation was a genius idea. I didn't- Figured we didn't need one because we're such workaholics but-"
Elvis cuts you off with a kiss, his tongue slipping past your lips and allowing you both to enjoy a kiss that's both chaste and arousing all at once. "But you and I needed some time away from Memphis. They needed to see somethin' other than Memphis and we- we got 'nough money to do it."
A hum of agreement and a bit of pleasure leaves your mouth before you kiss him again, placing your hand on your stomach. "We should make this a yearly thing- if we can, it's- it's a nice place to recharge, Elvis. A nice place to make fresh starts. "
Elvis's raises an eyebrow as his eyes drift down and follow where your hand is sitting. He knows your body almost like the back of his own hand so he knows- he knows there's nothing in there, knows you're not about to tell him he's about to be a father for the fourth time but he spies the glint in your eye as your three children move to tackle him unexpectedly, giving him sandy hugs that have you laughing and grabbing a camera you have nearby to snap a photo or five before Wendy's climbing on top you with wet little kisses to your face.
The kids start to doze off after what you think is about 15 minutes, the efforts of building sandcastles and playing in the sand and the sea dragging them into naps they desperately needed. It's an adventure getting the five of you back to the care but once the kids are inside and you're about to get into the car Elvis crowds you against the door, his hand moving to rub at your stomach, nuzzling your nose before a kiss. "You wanna try again?"
"Mmhmm." An answer that's a bit of an avoidance but one that also betrays how much you do want to try again, how you've been a little worried to bring it up given how much stress you've both been under. "One last little one? Try for another little girl?"
Your eyes are hopeful when you meet his only to see a desire you haven't seen in quite a while coloring his eyes as he answers you. "One last little one. That- I think we ought to start tryin' for the second these ones are in bed proper. Can't waste this vacation, can we? Wanna bring them along next year."
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theneighborhoodwatch · 1 year ago
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Hello! I wanted to say how much I love the wiki you created! It’s amazing, I really like how every character has its own page with their favorite colors. It’s a really nice detail, and I know the ton of work it takes to do something like this. I love Welcome Home and seeing people creating wikis about it makes me really happy! I also like seeing people having fun creating their own AUs and stuff, but I enjoy much more the canon content of WH and the original work made by Clown, so I really appreciate it.
Now… I want to reveal something and I hope you don’t hate me for this… But I’m one of the bureaucrats in the WH Fandom Wiki. I was accepted as a staff member there some time before the big website update that made WH skyrocket in popularity, and since then I’ve added a lot of info in the trivia, relationships sections, secrets and images in the galleries, because I adore Welcome Home and when I arrived there the wiki lacked quite a bit of information.
Wait! Don’t think I’m here to tell you off, to make you delete your wiki or something like that, it’s actually the opposite. I wanted to thank you because thanks to you and other people (and some incidents that have happened during the years I’ve been working in the Fandom wikis) have made me realize that Fandom as a platform has changed a lot for the worse and they don’t really care about the hard work the editors do in there. (As an example, they actually deleted all informational and replaced an entire article about a character named “Grimace” to turn it into a giant ad just because McDonald's payed them to do so and without telling anything first to the bureaucrat of the McDonald's Fandom Wiki. But there are more things that have happened.)
I’m going to be honest, I’m a bit lost about what to do right now. I’m even thinking on leaving Fandom, or at least not be as active as before, but I don’t want to leave the people that is in there or abandon all the work we’ve done either. But in the other hand, I think I’m doing something really bad by continuing visiting and helping in Fandom Wikis after knowing what Fandom/Wikia does and how much people hate them right now.
I joined Fandom Wiki years ago to know more about my favorite media and help as much as I can. This was a passion of mine, but now this stresses me out more and more every day.
Sorry about all the rambling. I just wanted to let you know that someone in the own Fandom WH Wiki is rooting for you and your own WH personal wiki, and that you helped me open my eyes. And sorry for sending this anonymously, I fear that people will figure out who I am in the Fandom Wiki if they read this.
well, first of all, thank you for taking a look at my wiki! i worry a lot about whether i'm missing anything, which is why i always ask for feedback whenever i put a new page up, so it's actually a bit of a relief to hear that other wiki editors think that my work is up to snuff.
second of all, i want to make it clear that while i have Many issues with fandom.com as a platform (i didn't even know about the grimace thing, but yeah, add that to the list) i don't resent any of its users. fandom.com was the most popular wiki-hosting site back in the day for a reason, after all - the userbase isn't responsible for the intrusive advertising or the unintuitive site design or any other number of poorly thought out decisions that led to the site's decline in quality; more often than not, the people editing each individual wiki are doing the best they can with the tools they've been given, and that includes you.
i'll be totally upfront with you: i know i've mentioned being a bit disappointed with the fandom.com WH wiki in the past (and to be clear, most of that just comes down to personal taste) but one of the first things that stood out to me as a positive back when i first went through it was that it was extremely thorough in its citations, to the point where i actually used it as a reference for sourcing almost all of the trivia currently on welcome to welcome home. if that was all you (or, all 200-ish of you, if i remember the wiki server's numbers correctly) AND you've been beefing up other sections of the wiki at the same time, then you have every right to be proud of your work!
if you still want to move to a new platform, but understandably don't to lose any of what you've written so far, i would suggest floating the idea of moving everything you have now over to another wiki-hosting service (i.e. mediawiki or miraheze) to your fellow editors. in the event that this is too much to move all at once, you can also use breezewiki to try to make fandom.com pages less clunky.
good luck! and thank you for the well wishes; i hope things start looking up for y'all soon.
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aurora-daily · 2 years ago
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Hello there Nikol!
I notice almost 2 weeks passed since your latest post.
How are you doing? Are you all right?
And btw are there others means to contact you directly instead of this submission?
See y'a !
Hello, my dear warrior!
With this answer I'll try to answer on several questions from my askbox, as people expressed concerns about this blog being not updated for mroe than 2 weeks so far (and this ask was received 5 days ago).
I miss you all as well and thank you very much for caring for me and expressing this! It's so important to know that my work and presence are appreciated here and I absolutely mean it by saying that it gives me more mental capacity for dealing with everyday hardships and seeing a sense in this blog! <3
This whole past month was pretty challenging for me in terms of health. I had several check-ups and, fortunately, there's no big concern about my health by now, just some virus' "aftermaths".
I find it extremely difficult to find a new balance between what I'm doing now and blogging: as you might've noticed past month I started following behind the updates and Australian leg content was posted days after the gigs happened. It was truly draining to try and catch up with all of this with the background of everyday tasks I have, so that at some point I just gave it all up at once and stopped posting, apart from updating with the special messages from Aurora herself and Sigmund, as I saw this and clearly understood the importance of letting know people about misconceptions they had (I'm really sorry for both of them going through all of these hardships). I started having a social media break (without even deciding on one, it just happened like this) for dealing with exertion, and in general it's healthy to have some breaks in life to return back stronger and better! Also I had to deal with various tasks and I need to deal with even more of them until middle of May, so I might again follow behind with the AURORA news. Obviously, as for many Ukrainians, everyday updates from home do affect me and I feel really homesick and not in my own place being abroad.
I will try to catch up with the festivals updates and, if it feels alright for me, I will continue chronologically. Otherwise, I will just post only new updates and in-between will try to slowly catch up with everything missed out. Either way I will have to take my own pace until all my projects and other things are done which take me 90% of time and as much mental capacity but I have to be focused on that more than any online presence in order to secure my own professional future, so bear with me, please. And, btw, in general, if I'm not active here it means I'm not active anywhere, tbh.
So, thank you very much again for sticking with this blog! I hope it can still bring you some joy, even though it's technically not the fastest resource by now :) Hope you take care of yourself and have a magical day!
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Thank you to @forrrob for the message as well, I appreciate, and, hope, times for AURORA and her band will be better ones!
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This is to @zidreddin-zidron without a context:
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- Nikol
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galaxysharks · 2 years ago
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I feel like I want to post, not a 'rewrite' of season 3, because I do like the story and how most of it played out, but like a few extra scenes or scene add-ons that we could have gotten if the episodes were at a more standardized run length. More to show some of the relationships or traits we get told about.
Specifically to establish the camp as a home for Ej when not in SLC. He was so busy that he felt almost like a prop with dialogue in some aspects. Like he knows these people, two of them are his best friends, some he admittedly hasn't had a lot of time to update with his current life, but still.
03x01
Arrive at CSL (explain Val missing & general roles)
EJ: Where's Val? If you're collecting phones, who's setting up stage?
Maddox: flight delay, Val can't be in until tomorrow morning at the earliest. Dewey's rigging the lights.
EJ: you're going to spend 3 hours fixing those
Maddox: I know. When you're settled, stop by the office to grab your keys and badge.
Collecting the phones (explaining how everyone just has them anyway)
Maddox: if you really need it, there's a rotary phone by the barn, and some of the CITs have a key to the drawer these are in, but we do try to avoid using them.
Dewey (off screen): Gadget! This things broken again!
03x02
During Ej and Gina's talk at the barn
*bugle*
Gina: is she going to do that everyday?
EJ: be glad she waits til 7:00, Gadget wakes up at 4:00. ( Mainly because the hilarious parallel of neither sibling sleeping ever)
Gina: why?
EJ: it's so she can get things set up in time. The stage for rehearsals needs to be prepared, waking up camp, prep work for activities in the week. She's been a CIT since she was like 13, at this point, she runs this place more than Dewey does.
When Val and EJ are speaking in the office
Val: you know we own phones right? What happened this year?
EJ: a lot, I'm sorry there was so much going on at school and with college....
Val: you're fine, life happens. It was just radio silence for months then all of the sudden Maddox is texting me about some big mass apology for being a jerk and cheating and poisoning people? By the way, I don't think Maddox is going to let you borrow her keys to the pantry this year.
EJ: yeah that's fair.
Val: talk to us, especially if you need someone who won't take the problem home.
03x03
At the cast wall
EJ: Stage Manager, Where's Val? I need to talk to her about the cast list.
Maddox: Mallory's sick, Val is filling in for CIT for the sporting cabins, they're doing nature walks today.
When EJ stops by with flowers
Maddox making a point to time the two minutes exactly.
Rules of camping
EJ: Also, no walking alone in the woods, and stay on the paths. If you do get lost, stay put and yell out, Maddox will come get you faster than you'll wander back. No switching tents, so make sure you like your roommate.
At Ej's Tent
Maddox: let's make a deal, if you sing the ballad of shallow Lake, I'll come back here afterwards and we can sort out the set design. That takes one thing off your plate. I can get started construction tomorrow.
EJ: don't you want to scare the new kids, Woman in the Woods?
Maddox: I set up speakers, left a Gillie suit out and gave Crash two boxes of candy to creep around the fire during storytime, I'm sure people will get plenty scared. This is important to you, so let's make sure it goes well.
EJ: you're evil on Halloween, aren't you?
When Carlos and Kourtney are with Ej
EJ: Kourtney, there is no Woman in the Woods, it's Maddox. She likes scaring people on Newbie night. The russling, the screams, it's all her. Shes trying to get you to have fun.
Kourtney: making cardiac arrest contagious is not fun.
EJ: yeah, this is, unfortunately, Gadgets A-game with socializing. I think you guys make her nervous. Either way, she's done for tonight, so you can relax.
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e-m-p-error · 1 year ago
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Okay, so, just thought I should give a quick little update for things.
It is almost 7:30p on Monday and I have gotten not much done. I'm about to set up my writing log and conclude last week's, I'm working on eating dinner (slowly), and I'm recovering from being pretty sick. I'm sad I missed the ball over the weekend, I'd been really looking forward to it.
My health is unpredictable and I've had a couple of things just. Fall through with it. I don't currently have my psych medications so I'll probably be here and there with activity due to that. Hopefully sometime this week the pharmacy will get it together and I'll get that fixed but until then I'm just kind of in limbo.
Hopefully, things continue to be get better or at least just cruise at an even "okay" for a bit, but we'll see. I'll get to things as I can, I promise.
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aquariaries · 1 year ago
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Hey everyone it's been a month since I last posted and I have a small update! I'm almost done translating Kou's missing Chaos Lineage chapters! Got 3 more chapters and the endings! They will be out by the end of the month 🩷 I'll resume posting and being active here once those are done :) Until then!
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nokingsonlyfooles · 2 years ago
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Art Week! It's Art Week Now! (just for me, personally) So Here's Mordecai!
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More description under the cut, but I almost broke my eyes just producing the image and I'm a little sick of the details, for which I apologize.
I adapted this "simplified style" 'cos my eyes ain't work right, but woah momma, the tarot cards have a lot of detail and symbolism. I went back and added more vs the original-style image with the nice shading.
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There's more stuff in the gutter because I realized Mordecai has more people he ought to be responsible for that he has nevertheless lost... but maybe not forever. That's water in the gutter, and I have a fire/water dichotomy of loss going on. Fire is when you're actively involved in the destruction, for good or ill.
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(Here's Mordecai's distaff counterpart, for comparison. Hyacinth will kick ya to the curb and burn shit to the ground whether you deserve it or not! But she also might change you and help make something really cool with the pieces.)
Mordecai's situation is more like "all that you love will be carried away," which I first encountered as a line in a Stephen King short story, regarding transients and bus stations. Sometimes it's a matter of acceptance and letting go, and sometimes a matter of abject helplessness. He's happily playing music with his eyes closed, so he hasn't noticed anything missing yet. When he does, some things may be recoverable, and some things lost forever.
Like Hyacinth, Mordecai is willing to rescue and help fix things he didn't even break or throw away - but he will break stuff and throw it away, too. Just depends on the kind of day he's having!
Mordecai's neglected responsibilities are, left to right: Seth and Alba (empty bottle and white rose) whom he knew during the Siege of San Rosille, Milo and Ann (red roses - rendered as black!) who have already adopted him as a father figure, although none of them know it yet, and Erik (fallen toy soldier) who Alba damn well told him to watch, but who is off kickstarting the plot unsupervised even as Mordecai plays.
In broader terms, I'm putting "real things" in black (or black outlines with a colour fill, for after Calliope brings the rainbow in Year 2) and things that are there, but not visible in pure light. He's playing music, so we got notes in bright white, as well as a few glow effects highlighting important stuff. (Mordecai used to play cello for silent films, so that gets a little glow, and Erik is in peril right now, so that's a regular sunburst!)
If you've had this yeeted at you without context, these are not just OCs I'm planning to do something with. I been done a thing! I've just been meaning to illustrate it for a long time and I'm trying to get people to look at it. So if you think they look cool and you wish there was a story with them, there is! It's just not super popular.
For my few readers who are in search of an update, I'm trying to finish the first four illustrations so I can head over to Tapas and see about re-publishing everything in order - hopefully for a wider audience. We'll see how that goes! First, though, I'm doin' the art! Ann's card is next, I already have Hyacinth, and then I need The General!
I half draw and half cut-and-paste, but everything I use is in the public domain. This stuff is CC-BY-NC-SA (except the nice stuff with the shading, I put some paid stock stuff in there and you might get in trouble for reprinting it) so feel free to remix and share, just give me credit and don't sell it!
And for being so patient and reading this far, here's a bonus pen/paper/scan version of this illustration from the early days!
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cosmicdreamt · 2 years ago
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[[ Hello from the void! While I work on getting these last few replies out just a little promised update~ This is gonna be super long I’m so sorry but y’all know how it is 😂
Being off tumblr has been so good for my mental health tbh. I’ve been missing out on a lot of stuff here but honestly it’s fine cause I really did need the time to focus on me.
I’ll be staying over a friend’s house for New Year’s Eve and hanging with her for a good chunk of New Year’s Day so I wanted to at least get the batch of replies I owed out before the month ended.
That said, this blog will remain low/sporadic activity because I plan to work on the canon/main story stuff for Neff. I want to focus on finally writing up the story that this blog takes place after the events of and eventually post it here or somewhere for y’all to read! That’s right. The deepest lore will finally be seeing the light of day! It will be arriving in 3 parts.
1) A ‘guidebook’ written by Neff herself that acts as a little encyclopedia to the lore of her story. It’ll also be a way for anyone to join my story should they so desire ( because I would honestly love more Dreamers heehee)
2) A side story from Origa and Astraeus’ POVs to give a little more background on who they are and why they’re doing what they do.
3) Finally, Neff’s story herself. I expect it to be the longest in the series which is why it’ll be coming out last. It’s also the one I both have the most ideas for and no idea where to take them so hopefully finishing the first 2 will help me move it along well.
Originally I wanted to have the guidebook done by the end of this month but you know things happen and things almost never go according to plan LMAO so the new goal is have it done by the end of NEXT month and have Origa/Astraeus’ stuff done by end of March. Then I have 9 months to work on Neff’s story to hopefully try and get it finished by the end of next year. I can almost guarantee this won’t happen but you know as long as I make progress I won’t be too pressed. 
And then lastly of course with the new tumblr updates I’ll be moving away from legacy editor going forward. Current threads will keep legacy for now but all new things will be using the new editor.
I hope you all enjoyed your Holiday Season and I hope y’all have a Happy New Year! ]]
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