#almost considering trying to get back into spacehey or something

[creaturefeaster]

yo maybe im just having a bad morning but im a hair's width away from leaving this site man it's getting so fucking annoying & bloated with features i could not give less of a fuck about

[twotonedsuicide]

My small yap session bc I'm bored

So spacehey just hit 1 million users and liek ,, it feels so weird 2 me

I joined the site 2 years ago when it only had around 480k - 500k users so I've seen a good chunk of the sites history unfold right by me

It's just such an amazing accomplishment I'm around 2 see happen and liek ,, it's nice that I've been on the site 4 so long ,, yet it makes me a bit more sad abt my plans on quitting / leaving it 4 a bit

My plan was 2 leave the site 4 as long as I wanted bc yeah it's a good site but the ppl on it r either super sensitive, super edgy or just not active

I get wanting 2 b a good person and positive influence ,, but obv there is such a thing as toxic positivity

I've also seen ppl harass users just 4 liking a simple movie or having a trait a particular person doesn't like

It's a good site and good idea but the ppl make it insufferable 2 b on daily

Another small issue I have w/ the site is the mod team

Ppl don't like the mods and it's mostly 4 good reasons

Yeah the mods have been cleaning up the gore spam and other nasty stuff off the site but they also unfairly ban/suspend ppl 4 little reason if any at all

I've almost got my acc on there suspended bc some1 reported my acc

I was confused y until a mod IMed me on there

Apparently some1 didn't like how I had a razor blade as my cursor and the graphic I added as a joke

(the graphic I was using below:)

I've had that graphic on my profile 4 months before that person actually reported it and the mods thought it was completely fine

I 1st put it on my profile way back in early March so it was considered fine 4 5 months

That's what I don't like abt the mods

They will get pressed over little graphics on some1s page but the second some1 starts spamming actual gore it'll take them at least half a hour 2 get rid of the account

They will also ban you the second you piss them off / get involved in the smallest of drama

I'm friends w/ some1 named gia who has been banned over 50 times on spacehey just 4 popping up and making a new acc

He only got involved in drama once b4 his acc got terminated

And every time he just pops up on the site and tries 2 use it like any1 else his accs get suspended

Ik it's against TOS 2 not make multiple accs but banning him over some petty drama that happened way back in April is just a bit unnecessary

He doesn't even interact w/ the ppl who were involved w/ that situation anymore

Every1 but the mods moved on

So now he has 2 use burner emails and a variety of display names and such just 2 b able 2 stay on the site

I get trying 2 minimize the problematic content on your site but just straight up banning ppl for a small situation that happened 3 months ago isn't exactly the best way 2 do things imo

There's a block button 4 a reason

If you don't like some1 on the site just block them and move on there's no need 4 the mods 2 ban both parties 4 what's essentially no good reason

That reminds me of another issue I have w/ some of the ppl on spacehey

I've had ppl get mad at me and question y i blocked random well known users on the site

I've had angry IMs from ppl asking me abt some small stuff I was involved in

There's just what seems 2 b cult followings around some of the popular users on the site

Like I'm srry I blocked them but it's my choice

If some1 doesn't like me I will just block and move on bc starting up something over something so insignificant is stupid

I've also gotten blocked by some of the popular users 4 no reason

If some1 blocks me 4 no reason I'll just block them back

I fear it's just the best thing 2 do

I won't go and make an alt acc just 2 ask them y they blocked me

It's their choice and that's that

I also have an issue w/ the rumors on the site

I've seen so much misinformation/rumors spread around abt ppl and I'm sick of it

If I see something abt some1 and it's that bad I'll just str8 up go and ask them like "hey is what X is saying abt u true ?"

I won't go around spreading it unless it's confirmed or there's too much evidence surrounding that particular info 4 it 2 b false

I've personally seen rumors abt me such as that I'm a tcc (true crime community) member and that I'm an awfully rude person

The tcc rumor only popped up when I asked a certain bad person who's part of that community abt some rumor floating around abt them

Yes I admit I do like some crime cases but I'm not a part of the community

I've only interacted w/ ppl from that community a handful of times and I only know abt some cases

In order 2 b part of a community u have 2 b committed 2 it , active in it and u have 2 enjoy the community

I do not like tcc since from what I've seen abt it , it's a community that idolizes and worships horrible ppl who committed heinous activities

I would not enjoy being part of a space like that

Also I'm only rude 2 ppl if they're rude 2 me

I believe in treat others how u want 2 b treated

Maybe if they were actually a good person who treated others kindly I wouldn't b such a shit face 2 them

Anyways that's it of my yap ses I'm gonna go back 2 my important reblogging

[rosieuv]

flashbacks/pathetic rant that you don't care about but I have this urge to post anyway

I remember back in year 10 someone in my year (I don't remember who but they were quite popular if that helps you imagine the kind of person) asked if I had a vlog. Pretty random question considering I don't typically talk to people like them and never mentioned it in conversation, but me being the naiive idiot I was, I told them that I had a Spacehey and gave them my username. Now this wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't so open back then online as I used it like a diary. Someone with common sense (ie modern day me) wouldn't make that public, let alone give it to someone I somewhat knew in real life.

Please, for the love of god, DON'T MAKE THAT CRAP PUBLIC! Now people I sorta knew (didn't know all of their names but they weren't complete strangers to me) were reading my thoughts and commenting on them in real life. What made it worse is that I wrote something offensive about someone that I would consider a friend, and I didn't realise at the time because 15 year old me was stupid as hell. I know it's been almost a year since then but I really fucked things up. I eventually made it friends only and there's no point in trying as I'm not accepting friend requests nor using that website anymore as it just reminds me of the shit I said. It's a shame though as that website was pretty cool: it was basically myspace but modern and had a nice little community (and it ran perfectly on my iphone 5c!).

God did I seriously traumatise myself with my own stupidity? ...Nah...probably just thinking too deep into it.

The blogging in me never left though, hence why this exists. Since late March of this year, I've kept a diary that I update almost every day (on the days like today where I missed the previous day, I force my brain to remember it). The diffrence is that I keep that stuff private, which is good as it means I can ramble on about god knows what, but now I'm constantly worried that it's going to be used againsed me as blackmail in the future as uhhhhh...it contains...stuff...anyway the interesting thing about that is that I would only comment about a particular thing in that day rather than talking about everything. I don't know how my memory was that good as I can't even remember what I did yesterday, let alone write an entire paragraph on how I stole a cookie from my school.

I don't know why but I have a habit of having these urges to post whatever's on my mind online to get rid of it. This story did teach me though, is that I should shut the hell up and not tell a single soul in real life that I have a tumblr blog. If I was in that situation today, I would ask them where they got that info from and then ignore them; ya know, what inteligent people do in that situation. I just really hope my parents don't find out about my online presence. I've kept it a secret for almost 4 years but I'm so scared now of people judging me that I never wanted to tell them. Mum's never even heard me swear before, how do I know she won't spent 40 minuites of my time talking to me about personal stuff? People's morals never seem to align with mine and I'm scared that I'll so something really bad and not realise what I've done until it's too late, just like what I did to the friend I mentioned earlier, who I really wanted to get to know more as they were really cool but I fucked things up and they deserve to never speak to me again. The annoying thing with people is that I can't read minds like others so I can't tell what exactly they think of me. It's easiest just not to talk to anyone and be by myself as at least I know myself 100%. The internet is no exeption to this too as all it takes is 1 blog post for me to potentially be:

a creep

a criminal

a bigot

someone who others think is not doing too well mentally

someone who others think is insane

and I wouldn't even know until after I pressed the post button. It's scary as I want to be somewhat well known on the internet but I know that I'll end up causing my own downfall or even worse: knowingly turn into either of those 5 and horrify my past self (aka my current self).

I don't know why I even typed this out, you're going to read this and either not care, or think there's something wrong with me (when there isn't). I just needed this out of my system but if you know me in real life and you've read all this: please, for the love of god, don't do anything about it.