#almost an adult. for real this time. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lunarharp · 5 months ago

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the ghost

#witch hat tag #orufrey #..and a random unrelated drawing.#i was going to express more of this rich theme but i might be too tired rn. from twt: perhaps..every time someone's memory is erased #the ghost of who they were follows them around. if they were an adult it would follow the one who took it #if a child it gets stuck and follows themself. galga's would follow himself as well.#if i were easthies i would be stressed out too because i think he can almost hear the vengeful lost voices of a crowd of phantoms #clinging onto his arms. that's what i would say to him anyway. can you hear them sir?#but only people who have remorse would almost be able to tell just how haunted they are. oru's ghost follows qifrey- silent - watching him.#is he holding child qifrey's hand? they watch your actions. til you exorcise the ghost you cant hold his hand for real qifrey #bc you are carrying your child self's corpse. you know that but... maybe you need to choose which one very soon. only one.#there's a point where you have to set down what you've been carrying and give it the funeral no-one came to #aren't your arms tired?

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catrasfreckles · 6 months ago

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portrait practice with harrow (htn spoilers in tags)

#harrowhark nonagesimus #sometimes i think abt how all the adults in her life failed her and she's put in the most horrific situations and #how no one gives a shit about her being almost murdered on the reg #jod being a “nurturing mentor figure” but ordering g1deon to kill her to “fix” her #how she is stripped of her face paint and identity as the reverend daughter #even ianthe's hair curse is a violation #how much she fucking HATES herself #and despite everything she fights so hard for every scrap of dignity #i love her so much. yes she is a sad wet kitten but shes also #THE necromancer of all time and a real tough cookie #tlt fanart #harrow the ninth #she is my favourite. can you tell

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sparksflys · 2 months ago

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what's up with the first post on the taylor tag being a hate post lol

#maybe it's because I'm an adult now and I have a real job #but I'll never understand how people waste their time like that being a hater #there isn't enough free time outside work to be writing a long ass paragraph like that hating on someone #???#anyway there are veryyyy valid reasons to criticize taylor for sure #sadly almost none of them were mentioned in that post #...#and that's too bad #instead of mentioning her silence on important world topics or her carbon emissions we're again talking about the charts.........

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chuchayucca · 7 months ago

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We’re sleeping on Dexter’s possible friendships and the angst that comes with them

#I headcanon when the adults grow up with Dexter. They didn’t notice his strange mannerism until young adulthood #But by that point Dexter had distanced himself from them completely out of fear they will learn about his needs #+ the fear of his intrusive thoughts becoming real (I imagine there were multiple times he almost came close to killing someone)#He sometime hangs around with old friends but he’s very secretive and selective #When he still was alive. the new reputation he developed was the nice exterminator everyone grew up with who is a bit werid #His close friends were Frank. Jaune. Rick. and Richard #spooky month dexter #spooky month #dexter erotoph #ChuchaYucca.text #spooky month headcanons

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ordinarytalk · 8 months ago

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Could Symptoms Syndrome maybe chill the f out for a few days?

So ever since one of the instructors at the gym where I take aerial acrobatics classes clued me in to the fact that I'm probably hypermobile, I've been on yet another wild domino-effect ride that I like to call "What do you MEAN that's another symptom of hypermobility?!"

That hurty thing my fingers keep doing is probably subluxation and I might need to get joint braces

Opioids not working on me is part of it

The IBS is part of it

Poor proprioception/being clumsy is part of it

My shoulder is Not Supposed To Be Doing That

Me sometimes needing to punch doors open (because opening them the regular way hurts my wrist) is part of it

My fingertips pointing upwards when I extend my fingers isn't normal and it's called the Flying Bird Sign

The migraines are part of it

The random bouts of dizziness and sometimes blacking out when I stand up is part of it

Bruising all the damn time literally everywhere is part of it

The super heavy giant periods I used to get were part of it

It's comorbid with autism, auditory processing disorders, sensory processing disorders, apraxia, mood disorders including anxiety and depression, asthma, tinnitus, hair loss in all genders, chronically low vitamin D, teeth crowding, bruxism, fucking uticaria, chronic fatigue, and ADHD, aka every single medical problem I have ever had in my entire life except for maybe seasonal allergies.

Oh, and I probably have hEDS, too.

#the last time I had a Symptoms Syndrome domino-effect realization like this was when I got the ADHD diagnosis #I don't even know what to do with this information. Like do I try to get a diagnosis? There isn't any real treatment.#Also one of my sisters almost definitely also has it. Should probably tell her that.#personal stuff #hypermobility #ehlers danlos syndrome #hEDS #also hey for anyone reading this you can have hypermobility without being very flexible as an adult #just putting that out there

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luckyshouse · 18 hours ago

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almost all of my fear about plagerism and the creators hating what i've done to their characters comes from my internalized fear of people taking my characters and warping them into something i explicitely didnt want them to be (common occurrence in rp spaces i was in as a kid) and even deeper than that it comes from my dads fucking insane ramblings about people taking his beloved comic book characters and twisting them into "mary sues" or "self inserts" or GOD FORBID...! MAKING THEM GAY!!!! and his constant rants about it that would typically end in me getting punished. morally, i see nothing wrong with taking characters from popular fiction or media whether or not it's SUPER mainstream or not. the only issue is if small artists are getting properly comped for their already existing work. it's the same exact logic i apply to shoplifting, but arguably even more lenient. can you even steal an idea? a character? if everythings already done can it be stealing at all? a character will mean a different thing to every single person in the audience and one artist could never produce another artists same thoughts and ideas in the same symbolic and metaphorical ways. all of this is accumulates to a frustrating internal dialogue about worrying about making fanart and what the creators might think about it vs believing that fanart itself doesn't even really exist. needless to say, i think i've gotten over my whole dilemma about drawing fanart and what it means about me morally, and what it means about the creator. it doesn't matter. i'm not getting paid for the things i do, and all fanart i make is reimaginative and interpretive, i make fanart to be about myself instead of about the creator. and if the creator doesn't like it, well, it's certainly not the worst thing anyones ever done with their work. and if i became famous, i have accepted that people will warp my writing and characters either way. i have the autonomy to ignore it. i have the choice to disengage. and i think that has given me a lot of calm when it comes to my gripes about fanart. if the artist doesn't like it that's fine. they have the autonomy and choice to ignore it.

#it helps that almost every single media i like is some sort of homage or reimaginative work.#house creaks #ive always felt terrible for making 'kin' art. especially now as an adult. because im like if its truely about me and me alone why do i nee #to use others art to do it. but the truth is i am made up more of the art i consumed as a child than anything else. i wasnt in school.#i didnt have friends. for a very long time i didn't have a TV or phone. it was just me and the art projects i found online. to be true to #myself i have to accept that. and i think homestuck is better written because of the acceptance of how horribly plageristic it is.#because it is a very real look into hussies own psyche. and that is what im looking for in my own art.

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rubiesintherough · 9 months ago

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#(( ooc. ))#venting tw #negativity tw #gonna try to do some writing today but motivation is real low.#i guess that's what happens when you get called stupid useless and lazy to your face by someone who then expects you #to bow and scrape and wait on them hand and foot #and also now im expected to pay the electric bill on top of doing all the housework. literally all of it. in a home of 3 #fucking adults. and bow im also the one having to handle a lot of maintenance work around the place on top of keeping #it spotless bc no one else 'feels like doing it'#and the whole time i get to be insulted and told that im fat. stupid. lazy. while im cleajing up their messes. and fixing stuff for them.#and doing a bunch of cooking bc they get pissy if i dont also feed them on top of doing literally all the housework. and maintenance work.#and also now being expected to pay half the electric bill. again house of 3 people. and im not even allowed to take a hot shower when i need #to in order to get the pain spikes under control from yknow. flaring up my fibro from overworking myself CLEANING AND TAKING CARE OF THE #DAMN HOUSE FOR THEM #bc it takes too much electricity. the electricity i mostly paid for last month #sorry i needed to get that out #suicide tw #abuse tw #not me debating offing myself bc theres no end in sight and no way out and i cant keep going from one abusive situation to another #and just trying to survive. almost 30 yrs old and ive never once felt safe or at home anywhere ive ever lived. not once. in almost 30 #years have i ever felt safe. or like im my own person. or that im valued. or wanted. or listened to. not once in almost 30 years #have i ever felt like im actually loved (wanted) beyond my usefullness.#shit sucks man. anyway sorry for the spam of negativity lately. im not trying to be a downer.#gonna go hang out in my inbox for a while and see if anything pops out that my muses wanna jump on 🤞

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get-more-bald · 2 months ago

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the thing about X6 is that he's essentially a slave given to the Sole Survivor by the Institute. and I think that the fandom's treatment of him would be different if the game addressed it or even just said it

#forever crying cause x6 has no companion quest #i mean like. would be cool if fallout fans could read implications but also i think im one of the very few who actually think about x6 #like. what the hell.........#also obv the institute synth slavery plotline was incredibly mishandled and also bad but like. everyone knows that #fallout 4 would be SO good if it was good #one thing i think about the synths. is that there are different divisioms of gen 3s #the common one: normal artificial human-cyborg basically. BUT has a short life expectancy (like... 10-15 years? short in general)#for the coursers i cant decide whether theyre upgraded commons (which would make them 'a class above' with some 'gifted' individuality)#or if theyre just. made to kill. superior physically and mentally. proficient with weapons. uncommon. even shorter life expectancy tho #and the impersonators made specifically to inflitrate the outside world. who have a life expectancy much closer to a real human #but theyre uncommon (usually community leaders) and theyre hard to make. so the commons are also sent up a lot of the time #and the institute goal in all this is to secretly control the commonwealth societies AND to use the synths (with 'a shorter life anyways')#to clean the commonwealth of radiation and create safe spaces and generally make it good and safe. and also perform eugenics on the humans #so that after the commonwealth is safe and non irradiated etc. the institute humans can actually come out and have the world ready for them #and they'd be provided for etc etc. which would make a convincing goal for a vault-like society AND have the ss actually consider joining #but with obvious flaws in their plan (maybe not even their grandchildren would see the outside. the synth slavery obv (with disregard for #their lives). the basically slow genocide of the outside humans and ghouls and all mutated life. like itd be so good #also the short life cycle of a synth (especially a courser) would make an x6 story so tasty. like. hes probably what? 6 or 8? not a lot #is he a child? not really. an adult? i dont think so. hes just here and hes going to die soon and theres nothing you can do #could be a nice ground for a companion quest where hes free and learns how to live to the fullest for his remaining years or smth #also the short lifespan (finally remembered thw word) could actually be a reason for synths to be considered less than human #cause in the base game its just like. theyre just some guys with metal in their heads and i guess they were made in a lab (noone could tell)#coming back to the institute. they would be so full of themselves and scared of the outside and pretty pathetic that thered be no way #to talk them into changing their plans and working with the outside world. but youd have to think about it a bit cause their supplies #WILL run out. its a matter of time. and they will NOT work with the other factions no matter what. so if work against them youll doom them #which is why we could use some innocent institute npcs too. or like... show some children there or whatever. make them human too #but you also see how much destruction theyre causing in the outside world (insert quest about synths like... the mcdonough quest or smth)#damn and i thought i wouldnt go on a tirade in the tags again.... alas #well here are my almost 2am thoughts about the institute and that its stupid in base game #fallout 4 would be so good if it was good

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bepenikki · 5 months ago

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list of things i have to do:

chemistry homework for tomorrow (very long)

literature homework (read a shitty book i hate)

art homework

history homework

list of things im doing:

watching miencraftt five nights at freeddys roleplay frommm 7 years ago made for childrenn

making a spreadsheet forr the minecraft five nights at freddys roleplay

writing fanfics about the minecraft five nights at freddys roleplay

making a playlist for the minecraft five nights at freddys roleplay because i saw someone say the other playlists were incomplete (not very well made, missing a handful of episodes i realized a couple hundred episodes later i probs should have added)

#its me talking for once #idk why im doing this tbh #its.. not the best use of my time #my parents were upset that i was watching childrens shows like tmnt and shit #because im almost an adult or whatever #and i need to watch “real shows”#so instead of doing that ive started watching the oddities roleplay #anyways uhhhhhh foxbon canon.. foxpet canon too #ummmmm foxy and roast beef are dating too idk if they have a shipname but uh yeah #cant wait for lolbit to show up i already miss her :(#foxys dating like.. every single character #good for him #ive watched about 70 episodes of tor and now im trying to watch mcfnaf #im at episode 23 or so #anyways i do kinda agree w my parents a bit? idk i probably should be watching shit that wasnt mae for 8 year olds..#i cant even claim nostalgia bc i never watched this as a kid #but who cares anyways im having fun w my dumb kids show? its not really a show #eh whatever

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c0rpsedemon · 2 years ago

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it's 2023 and i'm still bitter about how kuroshitsuji, a complex slow burn mystery manga, got absolutely massacred by its shitty semi-episodic shota/fujobait anime adaptation

#like yeah the manga could be a bit questionable in the earlier parts (cough corset scene cough comedic relief grelle + soma & agni cough)#but almost all of that got retconned once yana toboso was allowed to have more creative freedom over her work #(and her editor's interference is something we Know had a p drastic effect on the series bc it Literally Gave Us Grelle (toboso wanted to #have a female jack the ripper but her editor said that if she did then she would've had to be working w a man. so in response toboso #decided that madam red's partner in crime would be as effeminate as possible so grelle was created in the vein of buffalo bill and then #only in her next appearance a few arcs later when the book of murder arc was over and done with was she acknowledged to be a trans woman #not the best situation for girlie overall but the manga started treating her much better over time + she slayed)#but the anime was on a whole different level s1 Literally ended while teasing a kiss between a grown adult and a 12 year old #and then s2 just made up random bullshit including a brand new 14 year old to ship bait w adults #and it doesn't help that whenever the series comes up everyone in the surrounding area becomes 50x more susceptible to false info #(see: undertaker's real name being shared around on an image that's literally watermarked by a TUMBLR HEADCANONS BLOG)#so there's a p decent subset of ppl who believe it was originally meant to be a yaoi (rumor that began from the same hc blog)#or that yana toboso is a shotacon (pr.osh.ippers on twt made that one up to try and win arguments)#i want the series to get the fmab treatment w a shiny new anime made by some1 other than a-1 pictures #bc we've seen what happens when they try and adapt the arcs that came out after they committed to the random bullshit plots of s1-2 #in the form of the book of murder circus & atlantic ovas. which are excessively plain and just streamlined disconnected and heartless #renditions of the manga arcs which will make no sense to anyone who hasn't already read it. they're like ufotable's fate route ova but at #least that has higher production values and is somewhat visually interesting #romeo.txt

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zhinee · 3 months ago

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looked at old pics of myself at the wrong time and now im crying.,

#i always thot i was just kinda ugly and weird and lame and like. i wasnt. not that it would matter if i was but like. i wasnt i was just. me #in my memories im so mean to myself and then to like look back at who i was at that time is like. so hard like why was i so mean to myself #and why am i still so mean to myself. like who does it benefit to remember myself as awful and annoying and ugly and unlovable #like the only person in my life who thought i was all those things was me. like the only person that hated me that much was ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i hate it here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im fine :)#this was a nice wakeup call i suppose.#also all those old pics i looked so hot im crying actual tears im so mad i could have been getting so much pussy if i wasnt so depressed #idk im just like. trying to be nice to my inner child and my inner teenager is one thing but like. being nice to me early 20s is even harde #i always thought ppl hated me and its like no bitch..... You hated YOURSELF................... anyways im dehydrated #this blog turning 13 sent me into a real spiral ill tell u WHAT.#having spent all my formative years online to then become almost completely offline after getting a job. its drama to say grieving but like #idk it felt like looking at pics of a dead relative. like it looked like me and i could remember taking those pics. but like. thats not me.#GOD. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD #AND ITS ESPECIALLY CRAZY TO LOOK BACK NOW HAVING GAINED ADULT BODY WEIGHT AT PICS OF ME AS A KID WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS FAT. AND I WASNT.#AGAINNNNNNNNNNN NOT THAT IT WOULD MATTER IF I WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS #but i spent my whole life being treated as FAT without actually being fat. WHICH I AM NOW. and now im the happiest and fattest ive been.#like i actually wasnt a horrible ugly fat freak of nature. i just needed to get away from my mom #i really am rambling at this point. i know i need to Look Within and Figure Out Who I Want To Be and What Kind Of Person I Want To Become #but also i have work #and the answer is some kind of transgender. one of em. thats for sure. but like. im a waitress so like. rain check that convo....#anyways. i am not a bad person. and i wish i didnt spend so much of my life convincing myself i was. but u live and u learn i fucking GUESS

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cuntwrap--supreme · 3 months ago

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My dog has been having senior moments, such as randomly forgetting what she's doing or trying to walk into a street, and I've been calling her "Mr. President" when it happens.

Like, "No, Mr. President, we can't walk into oncoming traffic. That's how we get killed!"