#allow me to have a major MAJOR MELTDOWN over this

[flatoutin-eaurouge]

Mika Häkkinen, 1997

[gyuwoncheol]

Vantage Point | Meet the Characters & Series Masterlist

Status: Begins tomorrow (January 20)!

Pair: Mingyu × f.reader

Summary: Pulling off the "No Strings Attached" arrangement with his best-friend-turned-best-friend-with-benefits was easy, but when a new condition is added onto the mix, Mingyu didn't realise just how much he held onto you when you finally let go.

Genre: College au. BFFs to FWB trope. Fluff, Humor, Angst, Smut [chapters with smut will be indicated and will contain the necessary warnings]

Author’s Note: Please take time to read this before starting the series ☺️

Hello, my darlings! Finally getting round to posting this after missing the commited date last time due to covid. But welcome!!! 🥳 This is the first story to my Snap Shoot universe! Before you get into it, let me just point a few things. This is the first time I'm ever creating a universe with interwoven stories, and while I've done SMAUs before, this is the first one I've done for SVT and the first time I'm also this adventurous about it. It's definitely very different from what I post on here but I'm having lots of fun putting it together. I know it goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, this is very much a work of fiction. This is an AU. While Korea may be the assumed setting for this series, it is not explicitly defined. I'm also trying to avoid using lots of Korean cultural references (maybe except for food) such as use of honorifics like "hyung". While many of my other works refrain from over-describing oc's physical features, you may find that in this series (and universe), oc's features will inevitably be defined. You'll find that the visuals of the characters and the aesthetic of the photos/social media posts will be Korean/ Asian. It's a SMAU, so i'll have to place photos and these photos must maintain consistent. I absolutely do not mean any ill intention of being non-inclusive (I don't even fit the same aesthetic as oc).

Again, it's a work of fiction, while I want you to relate to oc, kindly also allow me breathing space to build the character. If you feel uncomfortable at any point in the series, you are very much welcome to stop/unfollow. As mentioned, this is a SMAU, but it contains several chapters which are purely written narrations. All edits (texts, social media posts, etc.) were done by me, however some photos (esp those of Y/N) are from the web, if they are yours, please let me know so that I may credit you or remove the photo. The texts are all done on light mode. Deal with it. This follows a FWB trope, expect lots of smut and suggestive content— specific smut warnings will be available in chapters where they are present, along with other necessary warnings. This series will have lots of fluff and lots of crackhead nonsense humor. I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Biggest shoutout to my dearest friend @wongyuseokie who has been nothing but supportive through all of this and through all my dramatic Mingy-induced meltdowns. I love you more than you’ll ever know ♥️

Meet the Characters

Mingyu: Sophomore, studying Film & Photography, yn/Camie's best friend since childhood

Yn: Sophomore, studying Film & Photography with Mingyu, Mingyu's best friend since childhood. Nicknamed "Camie" by her group of friends for her highly concerning camera collection/obsession.

Seokmin: Sophomore, studying Film & Photography, same friend group as mingyu and yn, Mingyu & Wonwoo's housemate

Soonyoung: technically a year older than the 3, but currently a Sophomore with Gyu, Cam and Seokmin after shifting into their major

Wonwoo: Junior, studying Film & Photography as well, Mingyu's guy best friend and housemate in The Man Cave, a brotherly figure to OC, Soonyoung's former classmate in highschool

The Man Cave: shared house near their university where Mingyu, Wonwoo and Seokmin live, and Soonyoung often crashes.

✨Other characters/members will come as the series progresses.

Series Masterlist

To be populated as each chapter is posted. There is no posting schedule. Chapters will just get uploaded as they come.

Teaser

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five 🔞

Chapter Six 🔞

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Tag List!

@strawberryya @idyllic-ghost @septemberskies @ladyblablabla

If you want to be tagged as each chapter comes out, do send me an ask or reply to this post so I could include you in the tag list 😊

[natashaslesbian]

Scarlett’s Here

Summary: Scarlett comfort you through an autistic meltdown

Word Count:

Pairings: (Scarlett x Teen!Reader)

Content: Autistic meltdown and traits (written from my personal experience with my own autism)

————

As soon as the director yelled ‘cut’ you were racing back to your trailer. It was all too much, too many people, too many lights, too many sounds. You usually had your autism under control on set, making a scene was the last thing you wanted to do, especially as no one knew. No one except for Scarlett. You’d been in the acting industry for a few years now, but this was your first major blockbuster film. Scarlett took an instant liking to you when you had met and straight away she felt very protective over you. It was 6 months into filming now, the process had been gruelling and the days were very long. It was last month when you finally cracked and broke down in Scarlett’s arms, it was then you told her about your autism and she was doing everything in her power to look out for you.

When you left the set in a hurry, Scarlett immediately followed you. She checked her trailer on the way to yours, sometimes you would take residence with her after a rough day. When she found the room empty, the blonde figured you had gone to your own trailer. Scarlett nocked gently on your door and after being answered with silence, she made her way inside. “Y/n” she whispered as she stepped into your trailer. “It’s just me, it’s Scarlett” she said walking through to your bedroom. The older actress quietly pushed open the door, her eyes landing on the heap underneath the covers. You were crying quietly when you heard Scarlett come in and you felt the bed dip as she sat down on the end. “Y/n I’m just gonna sit here until you’re alright, you don’t have to talk or do anything ok” Scarlett said softly.

You wanted so desperately for her to hold you, but at the same time you wanted her as far away as possible. You continued to cry for a few minuets under the weight of your duvet, your breath had made the space hot and dark, settling your senses over so slightly. You felt a change in your brain as you sat up and pulled the covers away, you kept your eyes closed but soon realised that Scarlett had already covered the windows allowing you to be comfortable in the space. “Hi sweetie” Scarlett whispered “I got you some water, do you want a sip?” She asked as she held out the bottle. You shook your head as you climbed across the bed to sit in Scarlett’s lap. She welcomed you with open arms and directed your head to lay across her chest. “There we go y/n” she said “nice and calm” she said as she ran her fingers through your hair.

The frustration of it all kicked in as you started to cry softly, you gripped onto Scarlett’s arm tightly, not knowing if you wanted her to go or stay. “You’re okay sweetie” she quietly said. You pulled yourself impossibly close to her as she shushed you softly “I’m here, Scarlett’s here” she cooed. Her voice was calming, it floated around the room so gently that you began to settle. Your skin was still on fire, it felt like it was inside out and you wanted to rip it away. You released Scarlett’s arm and began scratching your own “easy sweet girl” the blonde said as she wrapped her arms around you, closing your hands against her side and stoping you from scratching. You shuffled in annoyance but calmed slightly when Scarlett slotted her own hand into yours, allowing you to stim with her rings.

The two of you sat in silence for at least 20 minutes until you felt ready to speak again. “Did people notice?” You shyly asked “no darling, it’s all okay” Scarlett said. “It was just too much. I couldn’t do it” you cried quietly “I know y/n. It’s ok, no one is angry with you” Scarlett cooed as she rubbed up and down your back. “I couldn’t even make it through the day and now we have to go back, how am I gonna do this?” You asked through your tears. “We’ll figure it out y/n, I promise” Scarlett said “and I told everyone I have a migraine, we’re done filming for the day” she continued. “You did? We are” You gazed up at her, she nodded in response. “Why did you do that?” You asked “because I care about you” the blonde answered “you shouldn’t have to be put into a situation that’s uncomfortable for you, and you shouldn’t have to hide who you are. But I know you’re not ready to let other people know, so I’ll have a migraine anytime you need me too” Scarlett said.

You smiled widely up at her, no one had ever cared for you the way she did. “Thank you” you whispered as you snuggled into her. Scarlett laid a soft kiss on your forehead, her way of saying ‘you’re welcome’. She continued to hold you close until the events of the day finally caused you to fall into a comfortable sleep. Scarlett decided that while you napped she would order your favourite take out, knowing it was definitely going to cheer you up. She was quiet on the phone so she didn’t wake you and you continued to sleep in her embrace, knowing you were safe and protected.

————

Taglist<3

@saraaahsstuff / @dannipotatoo / @tobiaslut / @marvelnatasha12346 / @yelenasdiary / @mousetheorist / @ashadash0904 / @nevaeh-daughterofvalcarol

[idolomantises]

Have you watched Murder Drones, and if so what’s your opinion on it?

Also your art is great, keep it up.

Thank you!

And uh. Man. I may make an enemy out of another indie fandom because I don’t really like this show.

I actually loved the pilot and thought episodes 1-3 were incredible, if a bit too fast paced. But episode 4 was kind of a breaking point for me and I dropped off after that.

I don’t think it’s very funny. I think it relies too much on Bathos and it makes it hard to take its cast seriously. As a black comedy it mostly worked for episodes 1-3, but 4? No.

It does this thing I really despise in media where it has themes of genocide but like… heavily deprioritizes it and often portrays it like a comedy. It’s supposed to be funny when innocent characters are murdered because they’re just goofy side characters but when it’s a major character suddenly we have to care, and I don’t like that at all. The main character has a meltdown over finding out that murder drones are sent to kill her people at the end of the pilot, and then in episode 4 she’s murdering her classmates and crying because a boy she likes might think she’s weird. I actually find it pretty frustrating that the robots are portrayed as incredibly cowardly because they’re slowly dying off and scared to die and then they’re hanging out with V who casually murders random children and nobody reacts to it.

I actually do like the idea of a character who’s not reformed but is kind of forced to stick around but when I see her murder characters, traumatize children and then go “haha I just have mental problems” and everyone just… moves on, I just cannot bring myself to care. It causes such a massive dissonance and not in a fun way.

I think it’s very frustrating and unengaging when a story about people doing the right thing and trying to help others has no interest in helping those they’re trying to save.

I think the female cast is solid but I did kind of raise my eye a bit when the only major female character that was killed off was a victim of genocide while the other genocidal characters, two of which gleefully murdered her fucking parents, are just allowed to hang out with the rest of the cast. Uzi especially lost a lot of sympathy for me when she was more emotional about freaking out N than murdering her classmates. Like yeah, they weren’t the nicest to her but it’s weird to establish a character wants to end genocide and then… barely reacts when they also indulge in that genocide.

I don’t really like the characters at all. I don’t like Uzi, I found N irritating and boring (and gives me anime harem protagonist vibes), I thought V was a tryhard and I couldn’t really care for the rest of the cast. I liked Doll but lol, you know how that turned out.

It also has this problem of having an overloaded cast with very little breathing room. I really wish the show just had one, low stakes episode, so we can actually get to know these characters and collect their thoughts. It’s actually one of my concerns for TADC, because as much as I do like that show, I think “no filler” with constant story is going to make or break the show for me. It’s too fast paced and no, I don’t think it’s good that you have to rewatch an episode 4 times to understand what’s going on. I don’t watch indie shows to play where’s Waldo, information should be explained to the audience in a way that feels digestible and natural.

The animation is incredible and the stuff that came out from the finale was insane, but at times it just felt like jangling keys in my face. Like don’t pay attention to rushed story, underdeveloped characters and bizarre tonal whiplash, look at the cool fights. I dont think it does horror well either. In fact I kind of cringe a bit when characters a big wide grins and giggle evilly and it’s mean to be intimidating and it just. Doesn’t work. Feels a bit juvenile honestly.

And. This is a very personal thing. I don’t like the robot designs.

[owlbloop]

If someone lets you borrow or carry or touch their disability aid treat it like it's worth it's volume in gold

Or like a soul was sold to obtain that thing

I do not care if it's a cane or a brace or a wheelchair or noise canceling headphones or communication device or even just* a person's main fidget/sensory object

You do not throw it around

Twirl it wildly on your finger

Punch or slam it

Take it without explicit permission

Play with it without explicit permission

Test it without explicit permission

Dirty it

Eat food around or over it(particularly things like sugar doughnuts or greasy food that are messy/staining/hard to clean)

Hold it carelessly

You do

Hold it gently and with care while permitted

Ask before doing anything beyond that

Make sure you don't lose it

Protect it from harm

Keep it in sight of the owner unless told otherwise

Return it as soon as asked

Appreciate the show of trust the person may be displaying in leaving it in your care

If using it thank the person for letting you test or borrow it

Disability aids are not just a person's belongings

Everyone has different boundaries, learn and respect those, because everyone has a different relationship with them

But they are an extension of a person and deeply linked to the functionality of their life

For some people their disability aids are almost comparable to body parts

My headphones might only be headphones to you

But they are a lifeline to me

They literally opened up my world

With them I can go to aquariums and enjoy some restaurants and go to some festivals and so much else

I don't have to worry about auditory stimming

I don't have to argue constantly with people putting me in pain, just sometimes lol

I can actually relax in a way I literally couldn't for the majority of my life

Sure they aren't perfect, they don't block everything out and I can't bring/wear them everywhere

But they're still so much more than a pair of headphones

They're my freedom, my escape, my access to so much of my world

And if someone doesn't return them, or loses them, or breaks them, or damages them, or disrespects them?

Then they hurt or disrespect me as well

*Fidget and sensory objects can actually be a serious deal

They can literally allow a person to be part of traditional society, stop minimize panic attacks/shutdowns/anxiety attacks/meltdowns, hold a job

And can significantly improve quality of life

So unless you know someone's specific deal

don't assume a fidget or sensory objects importance

Also a lot of autistic people and traumatized ND's have emotionally very important comfort items that are often related to sensory objects. Damaging or messing with these can be EXTREMELY distressing for some people. These aren't necessarily disability aids but still, you really shouldn't mess with them

[frodothefair]

Sometimes I become that middle-aged conservative mom (even though I don't have kids, so I suppose a metaphorical mom) who perennially rants about how nobody appreciates her.

I'm not a saint, after all. I crave a little recognition now and then.

An example, recently, has been my chronically online housemate who continues to struggle with her mental health. (Cut for sensitive material).

She's had yet another meltdown over something that happened on twitter (she's a trans person, so maybe that makes sense), and the only reason yet another hospitalization was averted was that her friend came over and took her to her house for the weekend.

So Mr. Nisilë, said friend, and I have been talking a lot about what we can do to help the housemate, and at one point Mr. Nisilë opined that he wishes he were easier to talk to, that we could have created a more supportive environment and engaged with her more, though coming from him, this is a ridiculous statement -- he can build rapport with anyone, which is why I was drawn to him in the first place.

So I went off on him. I ranted that we had done more than enough in letting her into our home in the first place, because she's not family; she's barely even a friend. That we pay her phone bill every month, and buy her groceries when our other house mate, who pays for the majority of her food, is unable to or is unavailable. That we're ok with her lack of hygiene, the state of the bathroom that's closest to her room, her tone-deaf singing and her random yelling. That we routinely drive her places, because she has no car and does not know how to drive, and neither gas nor time is free. That we're ok with her having hookups in her room with people she meets on apps, that we've seen her through two hospitalizations and two attempts on her life; we've hidden sharps, spoken to hospital staff, driven her to appointments and helped her find resources.

Believe you me, I know of what I speak when I say most people wouldn't do this. When I was ten or so, my mother, younger brother, and I had to flee an abusive situation. We were a respectable family in dire straits, a hardworking mother with two well-behaved children, and we had many friends and acquaintances, but everybody denied us a place to stay for completely BS reasons. The only person who didn't was my grandmother's employer. He was a man with an elderly sick mother, and my grandmother worked as their live-in housekeeper and caregiver. The three of us lived in a tiny bedroom in their home for three months -- the bedroom was meant to be my grandmother's, but she slept on the couch.

That is why I will never begrudge our housemate what I do for her. I will never see her as a burden. But to hear that I haven't done enough when I already have done more than 99.9% of the population would do was extremely upsetting. That's different from seeing her as a burden. I can deal with all of the above inconveniences, but I should still be allowed to be angry with her for not acknowledging my efforts, the fact that she f-cking won the lottery between me, Mr. Nisilë, and our other housemate.

A sarcastic voice inside might say, "well, what, do you want a medal now" for hearing people's problems all day and trying to solve them, for your financial contributions, for helping out another person in need?

Well, you know, maybe I do. I do a lot, and none of it is easy, because I have disabilities of my own. I may have some relative privilege, but also disadvantages in spades, from day one. So maybe a simple thank you would be nice -- explicit appreciation of how nice the house we keep is, the fact that we have enough resources to help out, that we don't care about a lot of things that would have been dealbreakers for other people.

But the thing is, the housemate is hardly capable of such a thing. She has too many troubles in her head to think of others, and that's part of her illness. So maybe it is not fair of me to expect that.

It's just that... They say a good deed is its own reward, but sometimes it does not feel like enough.

[multiversal-pudding]

Just. Thinking about Uzi as like. To me, Uzi always struck me as “the person who cares a ton in a world that just doesn’t, and has become bitter and angry at seeing other people not share that same level of care”

Like- on several levels Uzi’s shown herself to be a really caring person despite her angsty and angry demeanor-

her desire to build the railgun, especially in context of her ultimately turning around on N and helping/befriending him, feels like her motive (as well as finally getting respect and being something other than the weirdo loner/Khan’s disappointment daughter) is ultimately “I want to go actually help people instead of just letting the world out there burn”

Her and N stepping in to save the others, stepping in to save Thad, hell, the first thing she yells on entering prom is “UNHAND THEM YOU FIEND”, which. Very overdramatic nerd of her, but it also suggests on some level at least saving the others *was* actively on the forefront of her mind (even if it might be at least partly in a “wanting to look cool” way)

The fact that she got so attached to the Murder Drones, sympathizing with their needing to drink oil (even before that became direct empathy) and deciding it’s best if they work together

Hell- she might’ve had the comical underreaction statement of “I’m gross and eating people” when N was talking to her, but like that’s more than Braiden reacted when he killed someone, plus part of it was the fact she was talking to N- like. He’s done a lot of murder. Like. So much. (More headcanony but like. Maybe part of why she focused on her fears of him leaving her was that on some level she recognized that focusing on her horror over the murder might’ve unintentionally hurt him again? (I know I’ve had times where the main thing I thought about while actively having a meltdown was “but what if this is getting in the way?!”-))

Even in terms of personal relationships, it really does feel like once anyone gets over that initial wall, she gets attached to people very fast- she’s already getting open and vulnerable with N, and like someone else pointed out, her insult at V felt half-assed- Heck, after getting a brief window of clarity from her feral rage in ep 4, her first response to V moving in for the kill/the worst pain she’s probably ever felt is just to beg to see her friend…

Like- this isn’t to say she’s necessarily Nice- I think she should be allowed to be rough around the edges, she’s bitey and bitter, and honestly with how people treat her it might be warranted? Emily was the cross gesture REALLY necessary-

But also- I think that a major part of her is just. She’s defined by passion, be it for her projects or for her interactions with others. She’s a person who hasn’t gotten enough attention and has started to lash out and instinctively push people away first, but like. She’s got a lot of love in her I think, a lot of love that’s had nowhere to go in a way it’d be reciprocated for a long time… (also Ep 1 might’ve given her/reenforced some abandonment issues tm which. Fun)

[lunarleonardo]

Is there a reason you don’t allow comments on heaven given hell anymore?

Believe it or not, this ao3 author is mentally ill and neurodivergent, which turns up as a Fun Combo in regards to being extremely stressed out. I don't want to vent in any way because T_T come on. But! I can explain what caused me to turn off comments!

It's this Joyous(/sar) little thing called "Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)". Brief explanation from this article: "Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is when you experience severe emotional pain because of a failure or feeling rejected." In my case, it stems from my ADHD qwq And it's been the BIGGEST pain in the ass recently

It may not seem very related, but I've thought about it a lot. I'm mostly unable to read tone over text. Meaning, when I receive a comment that's in any way ""aggressive"" (even if it's not intended to be), I won't be able to take it well. I've gotten good at handling these emotions (hence why I don't have Public Meltdowns anymore @_@;), but that, on top of everything else happening in my personal life... Yeah. I just. I just needed to eliminate at least ONE stressor from my life, even one as minor as this, before things. um. Before I do something I'd regret.

And even though the MAJORITY have been extremely kind and supportive, there's also that fear there that makes it so. so very scary. And I don't think, in my current mental state, I'm able to appropriately handle that right now. :(

I really do appreciate all the love and support!! I know I'm so very very lucky to have so many people who like the things I make! I'm just. I'm not someone equipped for the spotlight, even if it is a really small one. QwQ I'm not going to be leaving any time soon (lord knows theres stuff I still want to write >_>), but I do want to create a space for me that will allow me to KEEP writing and creating before I scare myself away from it all. Never, ever feel guilty for trying to make yourself more comfortable.

That's it! I'll feel better... soon. Probably. I'm working on it ! ＼(^^)／ ♡

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

I was walking back to the station from my placement shift yesterday and it was pretty warm. I hate the arm sleeves I'm wearing while on the ward from a sensory perspective (hate is too strong a word, but you know. It gets pretty old), but since I have visible and not-yet-healed self harm marks on my arms, I'm hardly going to walk into a psych ward showing them, and that's the best option. So of course I shucked the sleeves as soon as I was out of the vicinity of the hospital. Every other day I've put a cardigan back on, because it's been cool enough to wear one. But yesterday I didn't fancy melting, so I decided to risk it; they're almost healed, and I hope I didn't trigger anyone. (Since I'm still hiding the existence of any such scars from my family entirely, I put the cardigan back on just before I walked into my home, but luckily it was late enough it was beginning to cool down so I didn't melt into a puddle merely putting a cardigan on.)

It felt... extremely weird. Like hi. I'm in the train, and if anyone happens to look over, they'll see I'm damaged and messed up. It's no longer something I can hide - hell, I hid the scarring from a suicide attempt in August last year from my brother until a couple of weeks ago, because it was pretty minor and I hid it initially until it faded pretty well. But this more recent stuff is - not major, because so many people have so much worse, but - it will be noticeable. And pretty obvious in characteristic that it's self harm.

I used to be able to hide my issues pretty well. I swear my parents wouldn't have known even now that I self harm unless I'd told them. (I mean, mum would've figured it out that time I left my knife out in the open and she confiscated it, but anyway.)

If I ever get to becoming a midwife, every woman I help will be able to look at me and know I am or were mentally ill. Will that negate anything I can do for them? Have I ruined all the possibilities of helping people in my entire life unless I hide this stuff? Do I now exist only to trigger people?

It's kind of funny doing a placement in a psych ward, knowing that in this ward, patients are not allowed to self harm or they get escalated to a higher care ward. I have to ask every single patient I'm caring for every day if they have any thoughts of self harm or suicide. And nobody asks us, the nurses who are looking after the patients. Are we okay? Who the hell cares? This isn't about us. Nor should it be! But it's amusing, in a way.

I have cared for patients, directly or indirectly, with every single diagnosis, both physical and mental, that I have or have ever had it suggested that I have. In a way it's freeing. I think next time I see my psychiatrist I'm going to ask straight up why I even need any psychological care at this point, because I'm fine. I fully acknowledge I wasn't, for a long, long while, but this placement - it's really showing me both that I was more ill than I knew at the time, and also that apart from enduring difficulties caused by autism that won't resolve, I am now fine.

I experience normal levels of anxiety, with very occasional meltdowns (and I use the word meltdowns generously, because my panic usually doesn't reach the intensity of a meltdown). My mood is excellent. I am content with my life. I no longer meet the criteria for an eating disorder. The physical diagnoses I have are mild enough that I can function without medication or any kind of medical support, really. (I forget to take my asthma medication often enough that I know I can do without it entirely, in all seriousness.)

Yes, I still experience suicidal ideation and self harm urges at times, but those are normal for me and just things I've got to accept. I haven't made a serious suicide plan for ages, and I haven't actually tried to kill myself for more than a year now. I've barely self harmed in the past two months, and only superficially.

All my issues are in the past. I don't need help anymore, not really - and this isn't me in denial, this is cold sober honesty. It's time to move on from the 'getting help' arc, and actually living my life without psychiatric involvement.

Not entirely sure how to convince those around me, though, even though it's unequivocally true. Given that people who know me in real life have only rarely picked up on my moods and problems (unlike y'all, who get a blow-by-blow account of my life like I'm a youtube celebrity livestream), it's understandable that they may be a little hesitant about it all. But really: I'm fine. Promise.

[bakushinverse]

シン• ゴジラ | ベルサーク Shin Godzilla “Berserk” (Shinryu) [Return of A God Incarnate]

“You idiot! The Mech you built is no longer Kiryu! Don't you see?! Shin Gojira's flesh has taken it over completely! It's now a vessel for Shin Gojira’s soul to leave whatever hell that black hole dragged it into and return!”

After birthing Biollante through mitosis and sending her through to attack Earth, Shin SpaceGodzilla’s body was completely drained of energy almost to the point of death. Its mind however, continued to work sending thousands of Krystalaks to open a portal to the Monarch base in Antarctica where the Mechagodzilla Kiryu had been overtaken by ShinGoji’s flesh, grown from broken dorsal plates installed inside it. It lay in its broken body until the portal was opened and Shin Gojira promptly forced its soul inside the prepared Mecha by having a Krystalak rip the gold crown from his head and place it in Kiryu's chest.

Awakening Kiryu, it promptly ran rampant and unleashed it's rage upon the humans present before flying North towards Australia. It was however shot down by an atomic blast from a creature which it seemed to recognise as its own kind but also not.

Yoroi Godzilla confronted Shin and Shin was surprised to find that the creatures own atomic blasts and venom could stop it's regenerative properties and halt adaptations. Furious, Shin Gojira overpowered the Armoured Godzilla, carving and blasting armour plates from it before ripping it's neck open to stop it from using its atomic breath. 

On the verge of winning it moved to finish the armoured Godzilla however was stopped as Mothra, Anguirus, Rodan and Jet Jaguar arrived to save Godzilla. A brutal fight ensued as Shin Gojira's new metal skeleton made it extremely durable and the Krystalaks serving as distractions. Although outnumbered by Godzilla's allies and the humans Jet Jaguar, Shin Gojira proved a ruthless opponent; Breaking Anguirus's jaw, severing Rodan's wing and incapacitating Jet Jaguar by ripping off both arms and crushing the left leg. 

All seemed lost until Rodan gave his soul to merge with Godzilla's, allowing the Armoured King to match Shin's atomic ray with the even deadlier Red Spiral Ray. Sensing Shin’s reactor like core stored in his chest, Godzilla proceeded to attack and rip open a wound in the abominations chest and overload his atomic heart by blasting the Spiral ray into it sending the creature into a meltdown. 

Shin screamed in pain as his body began to burn, flesh burning and metal melting into molten slag, Mothra encasing the fallout with her powerful shields, protecting a vast majority of South Eastern Australia from becoming a radioactive wasteland. The fallout however was absorbed by the Armoured King who used it to regenerate even tougher armour. 

There was nothing left of Shin Gojira left apart from a huge golden lump of crystal that had once been his crown in his SpaceGodzilla form. Mothra presented to crown to Serizawa after the battle. The crown was subsequently frozen in a slab of concrete and hidden in a deoxygenated vault of Monarch with all the remains of Shin Gojira left. Anguirus, Mothra and Godzilla proceeded to hunt down all and any of Shin Gojira's minions that survived.

During the events of Shin Gojira's return, Serizawa received a message from his old deceased mentor, Goro Maki: “I apologise for such travesties old friend. But what is done is done. I only hope that Earth's protectors can stop me now.”

Height: 100m

Attributes: 

Shin Gojira but now with actual arms, made of metal.

Commands an immense army of Krystalaks and Gojians

Can Mind Control and manipulate suggestive beings or people with low intelligence.

Kiryu serves as Shin Gojira's new skeleton

Fierce intelligence 

Due to Kiryu's technology, he can actually commune with humans through technology, although when he does it's extremely nonsensical as most of his communication is untranslatable.

Can fly with the Mecha’s enhancements

Extreme Heat and Cold resistance

Can generate short lived miniature black holes

Increased Durability and strength

Left Arm can turn into a drill

Lost most of his SpaceGodzilla adaptations except for telepathy 

Venom sack in tail for Spurs very similar to Yoroi Godzilla’s.

Separate pieces of flesh can infect and kill other organic life almost like a virus.

Personality:

After the death of Biollante, Shin Gojira’s personality became more erratic, unstable and violent, rather than acting passively as it had before.  

Spared Ishiro Serizawa's life even though he could have easily crushed him even after Serizawa had blasted his original body back into a black hole.

Although Shin Gojira’s armies are immense, Shin lacks any kind of strategy, his only form of attacking is to overwhelm an opponent with numbers or power.

Shin’s Berserk form lacks the ability to adapt and his regeneration is slower hence Shin is more likely to be reckless and impulsive in order to prevent fatal attacks to this form.

Shin Gojira protects the golden crown from his SpaceGodzilla form as it is where his actual brain is stored and is incredibly vulnerable. When Jet actually managed to grab it and try to wrench it from his chest, Shin became enraged and set upon the robot, ripping his arms and leg off in a maddened state. It was this episode of rage that allowed Yoroi and Rodan to figure out how to defeat Shin.

After examining Shin Gojira’s Golden crown, Serizawa began having visions of Goro Maki and even ‘communicating’ with his dead Sensei. It was these instances that lead Ishiro Serizawa to believe that Maki and Shin Gojira had somehow fused with one another, leading to Shin Gojira’s sudden accelerated evolution in 2016. 

EPILOGUE

Shin Godzilla’s remains where buried deep in the Monarch Base in Central Australia, his Crown and Kiryu’s metal frame sealed in over 200,000 tonnes of concrete, The bunker kept below freezing and the Australian Desert making sure that any escape attempts would cause Shin to overheat and struggle to adapt.

Shin Gojira’s braindead body continues to mutate in the dimension in which he was trapped for several months. Unlucky Shin Gojiran’s and Krystalaks are reduced to biomass to add to it’s growing mutating form.

A Kosei Godzilla’s flying form is picked up and seen briefly from the International Space Station along with a large bird like figure with “Scythes for hands.”

__________________________

ShinMonsterVerse Series

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

__________________

SHIN MONSTERVERSE INDEX

[emlee81]

Agent Whiskey X Reader-I'll Be There

****

Agent Whiskey was charged with keeping you safe after you witnessed a brutal murder.

You end up falling for him. And him with you.

Some swearing and innuendo and major angst and some violence.

..............

You're huddled down on the floor, next to the motel room bed, shaking like a damn leaf and wishing you were anywhere but here.

The man who's been assigned to look after you is firing his own weapons. You have your hands over your ears, trying to block out the awful, loud noises.

Suddenly, everything goes silent. You uncover your ears and look over at the guy. He's panting slightly and he crawls over to you.

"They're gone. Or else, you know. We need to get the hell out of here. Now."

You allow him to take your hand and you quickly leave the motel and head out of town to who knows where.

.............

You must have fallen asleep. You're disoriented when you wake up. You yawn as you roll your neck, trying to get the kinks out.

"Y/N, are you okay?" You glance over. Agent Jack Whiskey is smiling at you. You try to smile back.

"No. I'm not okay!" You snap. You can feel tears starting to form in your eyes and you quickly blink, not wanting to have a meltdown in front of Agent Whiskey.

He reaches out for you, gently grasping one of your hands. You suddenly cling to his hand. You need someone to hold on to right now.

As much as you don't want to cry, you still end up crying. Agent Whiskey pulls you into his arms and you sob against him. He gently strokes your hair.

You move away and angrily wipe at your face, turning away from him. You sit down on a bed and wonder how you ever got to this point in your life.

"I'm going to look after you." Agent Whiskey's voice is low and soothing. You lean against him after he settles down beside you.

"Oh, Jack, " you whisper. "I'm scared. I'm really scared." Agent Whiskey wraps his arms around you and you turn your face, pressing it into his shirt.

"I know you are, sweetheart. But I'm gonna do everything in my power to protect you."

You nod, weariness overtaking you. You move away from Agent Whiskey and lie down on the bed, stretching out. You touch Agent Whiskey's arm.

"Will you just lie here with me? Please?"

"Yeah, darlin.' I surely will."

..............

You wake up screaming. Jack is right there to put his arms around you and console you. He gently rocks you in his arms until you calm down.

"What's the matter?" Jack is gently rubbing your back and you lean against him. He smells like whiskey and mint and a hint of spice. You close your eyes and breathe it in.

"I just had a bad dream. Someone was hurting...you." You feel Jack's lips on your forehead and it calms you down.

"Nothing is going to happen to me, darlin,'" Jack murmurs softly.

"I hope not, Jack. I need you."

"I'll be here."

.............

You're standing next to Agent Whiskey. He says he's going to teach you how to properly handle and fire a gun.

The thought makes you slightly nervous, but you honestly think that this isn't a terrible idea. If you can be of any assistance to Jack when those assholes come after you again, you'd prefer that.

You follow Jack's instructions and actually do a pretty damn good job of it.

Jack looks pleased and even a little proud of you. He leans down, giving you a gentle kiss and you just gaze at him. He has such beautiful brown eyes and you love looking into them.

Yet...you can see some sadness there as well. You wonder what made Jack that way and you suddenly feel protective of him.

"Those assholes won't expect you to know how to fight back," Jack is saying. You slip your hand into his and he winks at you. You give him a wink.

..................

Whoever these assholes are, they're relentless in coming after you and trying to take down Agent Whiskey and drag you off with them, to who knows where.

Not on your damn watch. Jack hands you a gun and tells you to fight like hell and not let them take you.

You agree and then kiss him. Jack grins at you. He gently strokes your cheek before jumping up and starts firing his own weapons.

You peek around the side, looking to see if anyone is lurking close by. Or if anyone is within firing range. You spot a sniper about twenty feet away and you know damn well that you're not skilled enough to take him out.

You hurry in the direction Jack headed. He's out of ammo. You shout out his name and toss him his whip.

"Thanks, darlin'!" You grin. But then, someone is firing at...you. You whip around and aim, and much to your surprise, you actually hit one of the assholes.

However, your victory is short lived. Another person is firing at...Jack. You race to cover him. Then...the sniper fires, hitting you.

You scream out in pain. You stumble backwards and Jack catches you in his arms. He's examining your injury. You discover that you were only hit in the leg.

Relief floods through you and you start wrapping up the wound with your coat. You struggle to your feet and Jack starts cracking that whip of his, knocking out half of them.

He grabs your hand and you both start for the car. It's difficult to run, since your leg hurts and you can feel the blood running down it.

You reach the car. But not before...Jack is struck by a bullet.

...............

You barely managed to get the both away from there. Jack isn't unconscious, thankfully. Although as much as he's moaning, you almost wish he were.

No. You take that back. You don't wish that Jack was unconscious. You reach over and take one of his hands, squeezing gently.

"Hold on, Jack, " you whisper. "I'm going to take good care of you."

................

Several hours later, you're both holed up in a shitty, little motel room. You've gotten the bullet out of Jack's shoulder and then cleaned both of your wounds and carefully wrapped them up.

Jack is lying in the bed and you're sitting up beside him. He keeps kissing your fingers and you like that.

"I knew teaching you to shoot was the right thing to do." You smile and stroke his sexy mustache.

"Damn right. Jack?"

"Yeah, Y/N?"

What's going to happen now?"

"I want you with me. If you want to, that is." You lean down and gently kiss him.

"I definitely want you, Jack."

"Good. Because I want you, too, darlin.'"

[silverwings22]

Song of the Sea: Chapter 19: Dance Under Fire

Chapter Warning: mentions of attempted assault, child endangerment, major injury, blood Series Warnings: explicit smut, alien anatomy (it's a monsterfucker fic, guys), major character injury, grief, canon typical violence, autistic meltdowns, and my terrible attempts at Mando'a

Previous Chapter:

Next chapter:

“Alright, hands up.” Hunter chuckled. “Echo, watch her form. Omega, watch mine.” 

Shiani was barefoot on the Marauder, in sight of all the clones and squaring up to Hunter for his first lesson to her. Hand to hand combat. She’d made the comment about wanting to be more useful after her nap with Tech, and this was the sergeant’s suggestion.

Hunter was stripped to his blacks and unarmed, Echo giving Shiani guidance while he provided an example for Omega. She brought her hands up into the defensive stance he was in, watching his movements. “Okay.”

“You're pretty light, so the trick is not to be stronger or bigger than your opponent. It's to be faster and use their size against them.” Hunter explained. 

“He's an expert on that.” Wrecker laughed. “Cause he's the shortest.”

Shiani just nodded, eyes locked on Hunter's middle. Under water, you could determine which way someone was going by their abdominal movements. Surface gravity was something new to contend with, and she'd never liked fighting when she was young. Juvenile scraps were unavoidable, but she'd rather investigate ancient wiring in the hopes of keeping the city lit rather than claw another siren at the crumbling outskirts. 

He jabbed, demonstrating the punch in slow motion for Omega. Shiani put her arms up to block and Echo nodded. “Good. Okay, try at full speed and see if you can hit him back.”

Shiani nodded again, and Wrecker noticed Tech squirming in his seat. He hadn't been a fan of this idea to spar.

This time when Hunter swung, Shiani went low to avoid it. She popped up to swing at the sergeant, but he caught her fist in his hand. Then a tentacle swiped his legs out from underneath him and he landed on his back hard. 

Echo laughed. “Nice.”

“Forgot about those.” Hunter propped himself up on his elbows. “You sure you need this training?”

She nodded. “The Empire fights with soldiers. I need to know how it works, and if I can work around it. Sirens fight differently.”

“How do sirens fight?” Omega kicked her feet from her seat on top of Gonky, looking adorably curious. 

“Mostly in packs. Hunting parties, or city patrols that move in groups between five and twenty.” Shiani explained. “We hunt big prey or fight sea monsters together. Our weapons are harpoon launchers and spears, mostly. Nothing like blasters or slugthrowers.”

“Do sirens fight one on one?” Wrecker blinked.

“Fighting each other is frowned upon.” Shiani sighed. “Kids fight sometimes, but not adults. Historically… when sirens were slaves, many died fighting over food in the cells. Sirens make a rule, to cooperate and share instead of fighting and more of us would survive. That kind of cooperation helped the Chainbreakers get away, too. The only time we fight each other is the Venom Dance. It’s like a… duel. One siren challenges another, for honor or their position in the clan and city. The only way to refuse is to give in to the challengers demands, or run. Otherwise, you fight until one gives in or dies. No other sirens are allowed to interfere, only watch.” 

“Have you ever done it?” Hunter looked as mesmerized as Omega at her words and the image of two sirens battling for their lives. 

“No, but I was challenged once. And I’ve seen one actual Dance my entire life. When I was a teenager, an older siren wanted to marry me because my family is powerful. I refused and he got violent. He threw me against the wall and tried to hurt me, but my big brother came to rescue me., The other siren challenged my brother for me. Brother won.” Shiani sheepishly fiddled with her claws. “Killed him.”

“Your brother sounds formidable.” Tech said softly. 

“My big brother is a strong warrior. Led his own hunting party before he was old enough for a mate.” Shiani smiled sadly. “I miss him a lot, sometimes.”

“What's his name?” Omega asked.

“Kashae Illumai.” Shiani ruffled her hair. “My last name used to be the same.”

Omega opened her mouth to ask another question when the ship comm went off. “This is an unknown frequency.” Tech frowned. 

Shiani leaned over him. “It’s a distress signal. Play recording?”

He hit the button and the tinged holo of a young twi'lek appeared. “Omega, I need your help. The Empire has captured my parents and declared them traitors. They're hunting me too. Please, you're the only one I can trust.”

Hunter looked at Omega. “You gave her our comm frequency? “

“Only for emergencies. This seems urgent…” Omega shuffled her feet. 

“The situation is likely not as dire as it seems. Children often exaggerate.” Tech offered. 

“We do not!” Omega yelped. “Shiani! Tell them we do not.”

Shiani leaned in, closely examining the holo as she replayed it.  “Baby Hera is very scared. I don't think she's exaggerating.”

“We need to go help, Hunter.” Omega pleaded. 

“We can't rescue everyone in the galaxy who's got a problem.” Hunter sighed. “It could be dangerous for you.”

“Isn't that what soldiers do?” Omega tugged at his arm. 

Hunter looked at Shiani. “... do you really think she's in danger?”

She nodded. “She’s not lying, as far as I can tell.”

“Tech… set a course for the coordinates she gave. We'll see what we can do.” Hunter sighed. 

Omega hugged him around the waist. “Thank you.”

“Don't thank me yet. Go get your bow.” He sighed, but patted her back. He loved her. She drove him nuts, but he loved her. 

Tech set the ship down inside a hidden bunker built into the rock cliffs of Ryloth, just outside of imperial patrol areas surrounding the capitol. They stepped out to meet a very frightened Hera and her droid, Chopper. Omega ran out past them to hug her friend, leaving four heavily armed men and a siren to follow behind. 

“Thank you for coming.” Hera took a shaky breath. “I don't know what the Empire will do to my parents… but they could pay you, if you help them.” She squirmed, looking from one brother to another. They were mercenaries, she was putting all her faith into hoping they needed money bad enough to get involved.  

“No promises.” Hunter said softly. “But we'll take a look and see what we're up against.”

She nodded, shaking a little. Shiani felt sorry for the poor, scared girl left to her own devices, so she stepped up and knelt. A careful claw swiped the tears from Hera's face. “Don’t cry.” She crooned. “You’re brave to survive, and smart to call for help. Don’t worry, Baby Hera. We’re here now.”

Hera sniffled for a moment before throwing her arms around Shiani's shoulders and sobbing into the siren's neck. She'd been in desperate need of a kind word and adult's reassurance. Shiani rubbed her back and rocked her back and forth until the sobbing stopped. “S-sorry miss… I got you wet.”

“I have gills. Can't drown me.” The siren wiped her face again. “Show us what you can. We’ll make a plan.”

Hera nodded and got herself together, leading them out to a rocky outcrop that served as a lookout point. Everyone was looking through binocs, taking stock.

“This is no peaceful transition of power.  This is a military operation. The Imperial presence is much like Raxus.” Tech mused aloud. 

“But this isn't a Separatist planet.” Echo frowned. 

“Doesn't seem to matter.” Hunter sighed. “They're taking over everything.”

Shaini made an unhappy sound. “... I see Crosshair. His hair is gone, he looks like an angry egg.”

Wrecker bit back a snicker, but Hunter just scowled. “He was able to predict our moves on Bracca. If he's here-” He froze. “Heads down. Stay here.”

Everyone huddled together as he slipped back the way they'd come, eyes peeled and the two girls in the middle of a protective circle. The pregnant silence was broken by the sound of clanging metal when Hunter came flying into view on top of a round little flying droid. He stabbed his knife into its head and jumped off, landing back with them as it went falling and exploded. “Probe droid.”

“It saw us.” Shiani said wearily. “The Empire will know we’re here.”

“And so will Crosshair.” Wrecker looked sad at the mention of the missing brother, so Shiani patted his back too.

“We’ll take the babies back inside to think.” The siren waved the girls to follow her back to the bunker, where she comforted both of them and waited for  the verdict. 

Tech shook his head, looking at his datapad. “We were spotted. Our image is all over the Imperial channels already.”

Hunter sighed. “We've lost the element of surprise. I'm sorry, Miss Syndulla. We can't help you, but we can take you somewhere safe-”

“I cannot leave without my parents!” Hera looked panicked, clinging to Shiani desperately for some kind of hope. “Please. I can… I can double the price.”

“There's no amount of credits worth it if we're dead. I'm sorry.” Hunter shook his head. 

Hera burst into tears and ran back the opposite direction, pursued by a beeping Chopper. Omega puffed up defiantly. “You shouldn't have said that! She's trying to save her family. I'd do the same for any of you!”

Hunter's instincts around Omega were all paternal, and he softened. “Omega, listen-”

“No. We can't give up.”

Omega was lifted off the ground by a purple tentacle. “Baby Mega, you have kind hearts but we need a plan. Go check on Baby Hera. Let us think?” Shiani soothed her tiny righteous fury and set her back on her feet. She trotted off to Hera obediently. 

Hunter sighed. “You got a plan? Because I'm not rushing to get us all killed.” 

Shiani nodded. “You’re a good leader, and you’re protecting us. But if you don't find a way, Baby Mega will never forget it.”

“Crosshair is here, Shiani. He predicted us on Bracca. He'll do it again and this time he's got a whole garrison as backup instead of three ships.”

She twiddled her claws a minute. “... so Batch doesn't make the plan, only approve it. Crosshair doesn't know me, Baby Mega, or Baby Hera very well. Can't predict us.”

“You want me to let you and two kids plan an infiltration into an Imperial stronghold?” He stared at her. 

“I would be interested to see what that plan is.” Tech said sheepishly. 

“Me too.” Echo nodded. 

Wrecker grinned. “Let's see what you've learned so far, huh Shiani?”

She smiled and hit her comm. “Baby Mega, bring Baby Hera to the ship. We need her help.” When the two girls arrived, Shiani took them inside. Shiani set up one holo table and gestured to Hera. “You know Ryloth better than us. Tell us what we can use against the Empire.”

Hera dried her tears and nodded. “... the refinery? Troops would be mobilized away from the capitol if anything happened there.”

“Diversion gives a second team time to infiltrate and rescue your parents.” Shiani nodded. “Security at refinery?”

“Four auto-cannons.” Hera smiled sheepishly. “I've been watching them.”

Tech looked smug. “Those are vulnerable.”

“The access panel is inside the main gate. Chopper could go in and disable them, if he hid among the other droids.” Hera sounded more confident now.

 Shiani looked at Hunter. “Split forces. Chopper goes in. Tech flies the Marauder and Wrecker sets off explosives at the refinery. You and Echo rescue her parents.”

“Someone needs to escort the droid.” Echo pointed out. 

“We can do it.” Omega grinned. 

“Only from a distance, and with Shiani.” Hunter said firmly. “I trust her to keep you safe.”

Shiani smiled brightly. “I won't let you down.” 

Shiani had a job to do; keep the girls safe. They were crouched together just out of sight of the refinery gate, watching Chopper join a line of authorized droids to get inside. “Tech says droids are not capable of recognizing good or evil. Only able to follow their programming… but I think Chopper knows the difference and chooses to do sins.”

Omega tried not to giggle. “He's a feisty droid, isn't he?”

“Loyal to Baby Hera. That's good enough for me.” The siren watched the orange head of the droid disappear into the refinery  “Move down. We need to see him disable the cannons.”

She was trusting a homicide-happy droid with taking out the only threat to Tech right now. She'd been confident about this plan an hour ago, but now… 

“He's at the console.” Hera breathed, looking through her binocs. 

“He fried that other droid to get in, too.” Omega peeped.

Shiani sighed, looking through her own binocs, and touched her comm. “Almost ready, Tech. Chopper’s in position.”

“You and the girls are safe?” He questioned immediately, tone as level as ever. It still gave her the warm and fuzzy feeling. 

“Yes, we're safe.” 

“Good. Standing by for your signal.”

Shiani looked back at the girls, smiling. She'd kept them safe, this was nearly done and she'd be back home on the ship soon. Hera would have her parents back, Ryloth would dissolve into an uproar that might disrupt the Empire here, and they'd be far away from it before Crosshair ever figured out they were-

“Chopper's been spotted.” Hera gasped, and Shiani yanked her binocs back up. Sure enough, the droid was being arrested by two clone troopers. 

“Shit.” The siren bared her teeth, then covered her mouth when her hand when Hera gave her a concerned look. “New plan. Gotta disable those cannons or Tech and Wrecker will get hurt.”

Omega and Hera both looked at her, innocent eyed and waiting for the grownup in the situation to solve it. Shiani almost wanted to look over her shoulder for someone to answer, before realizing… she was the adult. Shit. 

Think. I’ve een in danger before and escaped… didn't have babies to think of then, though. 

“... Baby Hera, you’re a pilot, right?” She asked hopefully. 

“I want to be, but I've never done takeoff or landing.” The girl muttered sheepishly. 

“I’ve only done takeoff, but we’ll have to figure out landing as we go. We’ll steal a shuttle, okay? Baby Mega runs straight back to the gun and shoots console once we get in the air. Then Baby Hera flies, I’ll open the hatch and rescue Chopper. Can we do that?”

The girls nodded. “Got it.”

Shiani sighed. “Hunter is gonna kill me…” They dropped from their lookout position and crept to the hangar bay outside the refinery walls. 

Hera pointed to a shuttle she was reasonably comfortable she could fly, and Shiani plugged her datapad into the security panel and typed a minute before the hatch opened. Omega got straight into the gunner's seat and Shiani went with Hera to the cockpit. It was only slightly different than the Marauder's controls, so Shiani started flipping dials. “Start engine, disengage landing gear, raise nose-” She muttered to herself. She’d only taken off once, months ago, and she knew she needed more practice but there was no time. They zoomed forward a little too fast, triggering every alert possible. 

Hera took the controls. “I think I got it. Help Chopper.”

“Got it. Baby Mega, start shooting!” The siren rocketed backwards and to the hatch as Hera got them in position and Omega started blasting. “Aim better! Doonium is flammable.”

“Sorry, Shiani!” Omega chirped.

They managed to blast the console into scrap as Shiani opened the hatch. Chopper electrocuted the two clones who'd arrested him and came barreling toward her. She wrapped a tentacle around him and hauled the droid to safety. “Help Baby Hera.” She ordered, turning around to spot a couple troopers who'd engaged their shuttle. A round knocked her off her feet and into the opposite wall of the ship, and she hit the hatch door panel with a groan. “Tech. Cannons offline.” She coughed.

“I'm picking up explosions coming from the refinery. Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine. Explosion was us.” She pushed herself up onto her hands and knees. “Don't shoot the Imperial shuttle when you get here.”

“Why not?”

“The babies and I are on it.” The ship's gun went off again and she heard Omega and Hera both whoop, while she slid across the floor at a sharp turn. “Oh. We’re fighting now.”

“Fighting? You were supposed to observe the droid from a distance!”

“Chopper got caught. Had to improvise.” She oomph-ed when she fell over again, curling up in a ball. “You almost here?”

“We're here. I see you now… who is piloting?”

“Baby Hera.” Shiani frowned, touching her mouth, which tasted of metal. There was blue blood between her teeth. 

“That explains it. Fortunately, her unpredictable and uncontrolled flying is just as confusing for the Empire as it is for us.”

“Funny.” She mumbled. Shit, she was light headed as the adrenaline wore off, patting herself down to find why she was bleeding. 

“I think this destruction should be sufficient. They are mobilizing towards us.” Tech chuckled. “Can your little pilot make it back?”

“I trust Hera.” Shiani found the blaster wound in her side, a lucky shot  that had disappeared inside the bottom gill slit. She sat with her back against the wall, hand full of blood as she applied pressure. She could make it back to the Marauder. She didn't need the girls to panic. She was short of breath, but managed to raise her voice enough they could hear it. “Back to the hidey-hole. We did our job.” 

“Yes ma'am!” Cheered Hera. 

Shiani could hear her and Omega talking excitedly, proud to have pulled this off together. It was heartwarming, and she'd have to tell Omega how proud she was later. Now she was just trying to stay conscious. 

They landed about the same time a private shuttle did, the Marauder not far behind. Hera dove out of the upper hatch to get to her parents, tearing up immediately. Hunter walked over and caught Omega when she dropped out. “What the hell are you doing in a stolen shuttle?”

“We had to get creative.” Omega beamed. “It was Shiani's plan, I think it went well.”

He sighed and set her down, crouching to look at her. “... I'm proud of you.” He finally said. “You stood up for what you believed in, even against me, and followed through.”

She smiled, looking up as the bottom hatch opened and Chopper came barreling out beeping uproariously. Behind him, Shiani walked out slowly with one arm wrapped around her side and her tentacles dragging. 

Hunter frowned. Something smelled odd,  almost but not quite like blood… “Go say your goodbyes to Hera, Omega.”

Omega darted off, and Hunter looked at Shiani. Her all black clothes looked damp, around her mouth oddly blue. “Hey. You good?”

She nodded, eyes on the Marauder. He didn't quite trust it; so he went to talk to Cham Syndulla and kept her in the corner of his peripheral. 

She dragged herself up the ramp to home. “Tech?” She mumbled.

“Just a moment, cyar’ika. We are about to take off. We need to go swiftly.” He called back from the cockpit. 

“Okay. I’ll be in the medbay.” She replied.  

The genius froze at that. “Echo come take over the cockpit.”

The cyborg quickly swapped spots with him as Hunter ushered Omega and Wrecker inside. Crosshair had shot at them leaving Lessu, so they needed to move as quickly as possible to avoid him coming after them somehow. 

As Echo got them into the air, Tech got to the medbay. Shiani was on her feet at least, leaning over the gurney. “Cyar'ika? What is wrong?”

“Blaster.” She mumbled, relaxing her gill slits. At least a pint of blue blood splattered out onto her boots and the floor. “Sorry… Exit wound in ny back.” 

 Tech felt his blood pressure spike. “Lay down. Let me see.” He quickly helped her into the gurney. He'd panicked when the Zygyrrians hurt her before, because he was immobilized and unable to help her. This time he could do something. “Why did you not say anything over comm?”

“Babies would’ve panicked.” She said quietly as he carefully lifted the edge of her gill to look inside her chest. “My job is to protect them. Can't get back safely if they’re upset and make mistakes.”

“You did very well not to panic.” He rolled her to her other side to examine the exit wound below her shoulder blade. “The shot missed anything vital, fortunately. I am going to pull your shirt off, and I will need to use a syringe to get bacta into the wound.”

She nodded, wrapping her tentacles around the gurney rails to keep herself still. Tech peeled her top over her head and winced at the wet plop it made hitting the ground, saturated with blood. He worked quickly, getting a long needle and getting bacta in both ends of the wound. It was cold and stung, making her already discoloring skin go whiter. Tech then bandaged her securely and started cleaning her up. Her pants, socks, and boots were also full of blood so he stripped her entirely and wiped her down with a clean rag and water. 

“How do you feel?” He asked once she was clean. 

“Naked. Cold.” She mumbled back. 

He grabbed a clean shock blanket and carefully wrapped it around her, carefully scooping her up. “I will be better able to monitor you in our bed.” He said softly. 

Shiani rested her head on his shoulder and nodded. “Sorry… deviated from the plan you approved of.”

“This squad is best known for their deviant nature. You are simply proving yourself as one of us.” He walked them to the bunkroom, passing Hunter on the way.

“What happened?” He frowned.

“She was shot. I will launder her clothing and clean the medbay later, but she needs to rest.” Tech murmured. Hunter saw the barely constrained stress in his brother’s eyes.

“I'll take care of that. Look after her.” He patted Tech's arm. “You gonna be okay, Shiani?”

She nodded. “Sorry for changing plans.”

“Omega told me what happened. You did good.” He probably would have been a little harder on her if she wasn't hurt, but she had gotten the job done and protected Omega at her own expense. He couldn't be too angry. 

Tech cut any further conversation short and took her to the bunkroom. He set her down only long enough to get her a pair of underwear and one of his rarely used rec shirts, slipping them on her over the bandaging before tucking her up into their bunk. He dumped his kit hastily and climbed up to join her. “You have lost a significant amount of blood. You must rest.”

Shiani cuddled to his chest, nodding. “You’re so warm.” She slurred as he pulled the blankets more firmly around her. It didn't take her long to fall asleep with all six limbs entwined over him to leech every little bit of body heat from him. 

He gently stroked her head tentacles, mind racing. She needed protection. This injury could have been avoided if she'd only had armor. Even just a chest plate would be beneficial, seeing as too much weight would slow down the reflexes and maneuverability she relied on so much. He could design her armor, he should have done it sooner. His cyar'ika had to be kept safe. It was the only logical course of action.

[esther-dot]

Fans are stating that Jaime killed the Mad King. So how he could go back to another Mad Queen. Like as if Cersei wasn't his twin sister, lover and mother of his children for years. Also Jaime killing Night King was way different than what he is in books now. Plus he killed Aerys to protect his father Tywin who sacked KL and killed Elia and her children. Also why was there rage when he going to kill another Mad Queen. Do they forget that Dany wanted to kill Jaime for killing her father?

Men killing their lovers is gross and I keep saying no one wants to read /watch that, but it isn't true for this fandom, is it? They were very enthusiastic about it and wanted it, just for some women, not others. They wanted Jaime to strangle his sister/lover/mother of his children, declared it character assassination when he didn’t, but then said it was sexist that Jon killed Dany to stop her from carrying out her stated intention of attacking other cities/castles. 🤦🏻‍♀️

As for Jaime's morality regarding "mad kings" and "mad queens," I do think the books and show made it pretty clear that Jaime wasn’t exactly a picture of virtue. I mean, he was fucking his sister, he was down for a little kid killing (sorry, Bran), even though his big dishonorable act is revealed to have actually been a good thing, it doesn't change his characterization over-all. I don't remember anything specific that made me believe it, other than a general, "born together, die together" idea, but I always thought he would die with Cersei. When that happened on the show and fans had a major meltdown, I argued he was a better man for trying to save his lover than if he hadn’t. And, I appreciated it too, because, as riddled with nonsense as s8 was, what made the show (more so, ASOIAF), compelling was that the characters weren't standins for us. They surprised me because what they did wasn't what I wanted, but what they wanted. Jaime's feelings for Cersei were real, the lust, betrayal, anger, obsession...it made for an immersive experience because I couldn't project or predict. I treasure that. I admire that aspect of Martin's writing so much.

Let's think of it this way, what is the point of a POV story unless we accept that every character has a personal history and limited perspective which will impact the choices they make? It made total sense to me that people in Westeros would reject Dany, she's invading! So, Jaime deciding to try to take her out makes sense not only because he must keep up his tradition of Targ killing, but also, who would welcome someone who shows up with monsters who can just...burn an army alive? Destroy a city in a few minutes? Why would you think that person has good intentions? Why would anyone think, "I don't know, maybe they'll be nice." Add on the fact that her dad was intending to burn women and children, it isn't plausible that Jaime would think well of Dany, not when he just witnessed her burning countless men alive. Attempting to kill her makes an awful lot of sense for him.

And, I should add, I don't take issue with Dany wanting to have him executed either! The fascinating part of having a huge cast, having people with histories that have them on opposing sides is to allow them to interact in that context, not to dismiss it as soon as it will make things interesting. I can't defend how D&D wrote any of this, we've all criticized it endlessly, but tbh, a good portion of the fandom had worse ideas. Worse interpretations of the characters, far more cliché ideas of everyone getting along, far, far more insulting dream endings.

But, I suppose that was largely a result of how D&D were playing games. They didn't understand that emotionally manipulating your audience into siding with (or against) characters by undercutting or rewriting characters at whim would result in absolute confusion about the moral framework of the story.  You can't have a satisfying ending if that ending supports ideals you've deleted from the story and condemns the ones you've been celebrating all along.

[queen--kenobi]

Can you explain more about this Tymon and Elayna dynamic? I'm curious how this all gets going. Like I've picked up on bits and pieces and Elayna's deep hatred of the Lannisters, SO I WOULD LIKE TO LEARN MORE

Ehehehehe yeeesssss time to reintroduce my terrible awful evil son

So. Tymon is Jason and Tyland's younger brother. He's a year older than Elayna. Tymon is... well. The best way I can describe Tymon is That Annoying Rich White Guy? Like in a modern AU he's the lacrosse player who got into an Ivy league because his family is a legacy family. He is actually smart and charming on the surface but underneath all that, he's absolutely awful. The type of guy who's never heard no in his life and has a meltdown because of it

Elayna gets warded to the Lannisters when she's about 8 or 9. Alon has his first major sickness so Elayna’s older brother sends her to the Lannisters. Since Tymon is about the same age as her, they do gravitate towards each other. When they hit 12/13, Tymon realizes he's attracted to Elayna. And being an entitled 13 year old decides yeah, he's going to marry Elayna

It gets complicated because they're still basically kids. Elayna doesn't necessarily know what she really wants or likes. Also she thinks she knows him, and this is the first guy who's shown interest in her in a not overtly creepy way. So she's receptive at first and she ignores some red flags that crop up

I haven't exactly figured out what the specific thing that makes her go "wait. Hold up" is yet? At least, not for canon. Based on what I'm thinking for other AUs, like him branding someone in the Western AU bc lbr that's some shit the Lannisters would do, it has to be Bad. I have some ideas floating around. But yeah. Tymon does something that is a very "oh fuck he's dangerous, and he will hurt me" thing. Elayna had been having doubts anyway, but this just freaks her out. She starts spending less time with him and in general trying to avoid him

Elayna also notices he doesn't care about her in a love way but a possession way? There's some discussion of her marrying a Tarbeck, and Tymon flips the fuck out over it. It's very much in an abusive partner type of way even though he and Elayna were never technically together

Elayna tries avoiding him but a) Tymon has made it clear he's the only one allowed to marry Elayna and will get violent over it and b) Elayna is literally living with his family so there's no one she can turn to. Since Elayna is saying no, Tymon bounces between love bombing Elayna and trying to make Elayna’s live a living hell

Mind you. She's 12? 13? When this starts. And she endures 3-4 years of psychological abuse. And unfortunately she does have to learn to be like the Lannisters to survive during this time period. The only person on her side seems to be her dad. Seban, her older brother, is even kinda like "what's the big deal? It'd be a great opportunity" blah blah blah

Eventually Alon gets Elayna under the guise of taking her back to Castamere, probably so as "not to tempt Tymon" or w/e. But as soon as they're on the road Alon tells Elayna he's set everything up so Elayna can live in KL as either Helaena or Jaenna's lady-in-waiting. Obviously once Tymon finds out he's on his way to KL but like. Tripling down on everything because how dare she run away

(Bonus fun fact: in the modern AU they go to high school together, they have this weird relationship of like... they're not actually dating but also they kind of are? They keep on saying no they're just friends but they make out at parties. But then the next day in class they'll be at each other's throats for who has the best grade and being super competitive in a nasty way. They end up deciding to go to prom together but... They end up sleeping together and being each other's firsts. Which then less than a week later Tymon tells Elayna no he's not taking her to prom, someone like him doesn't take girls like her to prom, and anyway he's had a girlfriend this whole time. And he does this several days before the SAT/ACT. Which Elayna realizes later he timed it in an attempt to make her so upset she'd completely bomb the test

Bonus bonus: unfortunately. Tymon is Hot.

This is his FC, Brandon Sklenar. Imagine him but blond)

[intothewiiild]

I got the results of my autism diagnostic assessment last week. Long story short, they can't disprove that I'm autistic, but they can't prove that I'm autistic either. Meaning, I've finished the diagnostic process feeling more lost than when I started. My dossier is literally full of question marks because apparently I'm that difficult to figure out. Just the other day I had a major meltdown at work because a colleague called me "rude" for misunderstanding a "simple" social interaction, but no, I'm not allowed to use the label "autistic" because my symptoms aren't bad enough.

My case was actually pretty devisive amongst the assessors I'd been assigned to. My main (woman) assessor felt like I was being let down by the framework she had to work with, but then another (male) assessor wrote in my file that "there is no evidence of autism" based on the twenty-minute conversation he had with me. He saw me smiling at him and responding to his jokes and decided I cannot possibly be autistic. (Note: I only smile at people because I know that if I don't, people will call me a rude bitch. See first paragraph. I spend every single social interaction worrying about people misunderstanding me, but nope, not autistic.)

There are a lot of things that anger me about my lack of a proper diagnosis, but the way my special interests aren't deemed "unusual" enough is probably the one that frustrates me the most.

One of the requirements you need to meet to be deemed "autistic" (at least in my country; I don't know what the process is like elsewhere) is that you need to have "very limited fixed interests that are abnormally intense or focused", and apparently I do not tick that box. Which is funny, because I am seeing Take That live seven times next year, and I'm sure that if I told my assessors I was going to visit a train festival instead, they would not hesitate to tick the appropriate box on my thirteen-page Autism Checklist. But I'm a woman, so my special interests aren't interesting enough.

(We also mentioned one of my other special interests, which is pro cycling, but apparently it doesn't count as an Autistic Special Interest unless I know all about the bikes my favourite riders use. Can you see the pattern that's emerging here?)

I also heard the usual "autistic people lack empathy" from the aforementioned male assessor. Apparently the fact that I am mindful of my students' feelings when teaching means I cannot be autistic. Which, again, is funny, because 1) teaching is what I do for a fucking living; 2) I'm a woman; and 3) I thought we'd all decided that the idea that autistic people lack empathy is a myth.

My assessor at least tried to give me some semblance of a diagnosis, but the reality is that what I've received is really not a diagnosis at all; just a confirmation that women and girls are continually being fucked over by a system that is only designed to diagnose boys.

[vent-channel]

A lot has happened but I got clean for a little while again (over a week now). I am so tired though still. I have many exams

Tomorrow I have my maths exam. The grade I get on maths will determine where I go with my life the next two years. If I get under a 6 I very well might just quit school and try to home-ed myself since I won’t be able to get into the sixth form I want if I don’t and I can’t go to my secondary’s sixth form. I don’t go to school aside from exams now so revision is on me. But I am very fatigued as the exam today had a slightly different time and it stressed me greatly. And revision is barely coming to me at all.

My biggest fear is having an actual meltdown in the exam. I have cried in several already even with my accommodations since being in school/exam conditions is very stressful for me, but it’s never been particularly disruptive and I still did the test.

I constantly want to bash my head into the desk but if I do I ruin everyone else tests as well. Already worried about it since I fidget a lot and I am allowed my tangle in which makes a bit of noise.

No amount of accommodations can save me from being burnt out and the damage that is already done. I kind of wish people had taken more notice of the near-daily sh I did at one point and just pulled me out. The school is not made for autistic people. And no matter how many accommodations there’s still over 2000 people and nobody in England likes autistic people let’s be real. You either get condescending SEN adults or bullies call you various slurs and nobody care. I think that there is a large politeness culture here but when you’re autistic (funnily enough) you get to see beyond it, not because you’re good at reading things but because it’s socially acceptable to treat people who can’t act ‘correctly’ like crap lol.

It’s really hard to take people who say ‘the majority of people are good’ seriously when the majority of people are not good. Like I have friends but let’s be so honest here. I get that a lot of people mature as adults but that doesn’t mean they’ve changed it just means they have enough brain cells to not say things that get them fired