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Any other trans autists have issues with their name / all names?
No matter how many names i try, nothing fits, and i thought it was gender, but i think it may be autism, because I realise i dont like others names either! I cannot hear a name (or a pronoun for that matter) and connect it to a person, they will always feel wrong. If im talking about a person i can and do use their name, but talking to or around them i will constantly avoid their name because names make me feel icky.
For example, talking about my friend T i will say "yeah T did this" but to her itll be "hey...hey....you! *poke*" rather than "hey T". Or if there's multiple ill say "can you do this.....no that you, not you you" no names or gendered pronouns just "you" because i HATE names and pronouns.
My mother i will never call "mum" because that feels like a name whereas "mother" is a title
And for me? My name is Harrison but I go by Sonny because it's a nickname not my name. I have disconnected entirely from Harrison despite having chosen it and liking it and feeling like i suit it, its just an ick to hear someone say my name.
My birthname was Lily and I hear that and want to be sick or cry, because i hate it, i think thats the combo of the autism name hate and gender dysphoria.
And pronouns? I dont like she/her because it feels like im being seen as female so i dont use it that one is gender related dysphoria i think. But i also dont like he/him or they/them because while gender wise its correct theyre so....personal? Id rather be called it or that or a xenopronoun or Sonny or something. I go by it/they/he because i feel validated when someone uses they, it feels like they see me as not a woman, and he because it feels like they see me as a man or at least very masculine and i LOVE that, but its after they in order of preference because it typically feels fake when people use it for me, because no one truly sees me as male often. And IT is my favourite. No personal. Not even human! It is wonderful, i love being treated as just an "it". Im a freak and a gremlin and yeah im a person but that feels icky i dont want to be, i think that's autism because i feel so different from allistic people who are the majority of humans that i feel nonhuman. My species is autistic. Freak. Thing. Gremlin. It. I like to be called it or that thing. I also enjoy xeno pronouns because it still feels non human but related to me more specifically. I like it more than xenos but I enjoy xenos as well.
Anyway, TLDR: do any other autistic people feel disconnected from their name and pronouns as well as other peoples names and pronouns, due to their autism? And if you are autistic and transgender, how do you tell the difference and how do you pick a name for yourself?
Please do answer in tags/reblogs and also feel free to add on to anything said. Thank you.
#gender#names#autism#gender dysphoria#it/its#xenogender#xenopronouns#mogai#transgender#transsexual#altersex#allistics dont talk#but you can reblog#yes allistic neurodivergent people that means YOU
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what no one tells you about autism is that befriending a new autistic person is a process of learning their own unique language of love. are they comfortable with eye contact? physical touch? hugs or no hugs? special interest? what textures do they like? should we converse about the special interest or just spend some time with limited conversation just vibing in each other’s company? for neurotypicals there’s like this boring standardized List of Rules that you Have to Follow Or Else! but for my autistic friends out there the rules don’t apply!! they way they connect is each so unique and personal to them that the discovery of getting to know a new person ceases to be this laborious task of following Social Rules until you get comfortable enough to do away with them, but with autistic ppl you get to throw away the stupid rule book right from the get go and embark on a personal adventure of friendship anew, like there’s a secret language you’re uncovering and evey time you successfully connect you feel that magic of blossoming friendship tenfold. shoutout to all my autistic homies out there, you’re not weird, you’re not a burden, there’s nothing wrong with the way that you specifically connect with others and actually i have decided that it is beautiful ✨ ✨
what no one tells you about being autistic is people just don’t like you. maybe you make friends, but they get tired of you fast. even if you’re not actively bullied, your peers just…. don’t pay attention to you. something about you is offputting and weird to mostly everyone, and you literally cannot stop it no matter how hard you try.
#kinda debated whether i should reblog with this addition#i didnt want to take a away from the pain of how hard it can be to connect or invalidate it#im a support worker and i just started with a new autistic client#and the first session just reminded me how much i love autism#like i mean that i really do love it#maybe its just my adhd talking but following social convention feels like walking with bees in my shoes sometimes#i know what the rules are and what im SUPPOSED to do but doing it is ugh#avoiding hyperactivity in conversation feels like clamping my joy and small talk is understimulating as hell#speaking the normal social language leaves me run down and drained sometimes#but then i make another autistic friend#and even tho ive met and befriended plenty of autistic ppl before its new and novel every time#and i love that 💜 i seriously do#we get to throw away the mask together and invent a whole new language of love#it’s my favourite thing in the world#the thought that y’all might start to dislike yourselves bc of the way NTs or allistics perceive you is heartbreaking 💔#if they can’t see the beauty in this it’s their loss bestie 💜#i am so so sorry that ppl treat you like you’re too much or too weird or whatever#but i love you and i want you to know there will be people who love you for who you are not despite it 💜#so sending this message to those who need it#but if you just wanted your pain validated as i suspect OP does#i see you and im sorry this sucks and im sorry that ppl react that way my heart goes out to you 💜
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Which controversial ship is the best
Explanations under the cut!
Galadriel/Halbrand (Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power) 60 reblogs - 5614 words total.
I didn't read it but it's something about homophobia and racism and misogyny if you like or dislike the ship, i'm not sure which one.
Katara/Aang (Avatar The Last Airbender) 58 comments - 65 reblogs - 796 words.
The arguing actually happened on the Katara/Zuko poll, but it was about this ship. Mostly Zutara shippers complaining about Kataang shippers but i saw maybe 2 kataang shippers in the comments. I repeat: Kataang is on here because it was incredibly controversial on my blog
Laios/Toshiro (Dungeon Meshi) A few comments and reblogs, 228 words out of what I can count + someones 644 word post that was linked to me.
The reason for this is because I jokingly used the tag "shuro has the worst case of allistic disease i've ever seen", because the way he exploded at Laios reminded me of the experiences i've had with allistic people who secretly hate me but never told me. This means I hate asian people and think only white men can be autistic.
Shiro/Keith (Voltron: Legendary Defender) 43 comments
This ship is pseudo-incest and a man grooming a teenager because they met when Keith was an unspecified younger age and Shiro was an unspecified older age. I'm gonna pass away
Zim/Dib (Invader Zim) A few comments and an ask but it stopped quickly
I haven't watched Invader Zim, but I allowed it on the premise that Zim is seen as a child (because I don't like adult/child ships obv). But Zim's age is a big debate.
Yugi Mutou/Yami Yugi (Yu-Gi-Oh) Many reblogs saying the same thing about me
I haven't watched the anime. I saw the same guy twice with the same name and tagged it as "selfcest" incase someone had the tag filtered. This singular tag caused multiple comments and reblogs telling me that it's not selfcest and that it's offensive to DID systems to call it selfcest. I almost snapped here, honestly.
Time to vote! Explode my notes if you want, there's multiple good choices to pick from.
#time to tag#lotr#lord of the rings#rings of power#atla#kataang#haladriel#dungeon meshi#laishuro#laishiro#sheith#vld#voltron legendary defender#invader zim#zadr#puzzleshipping#yugioh#yu gi oh#poll#polls#anime#cartoons#colored text#coloured text
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For clarification: I'm asking if your parent is diagnosed or undiagnosed autistic. You can answer this poll if you consider yourself on the autism spectrum, officially diagnosed or not.
And please reblog for higher sample size.
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When I was 22 or 23, I realized that I might be autistic and started doing some research. I read books written by autistic people, scrolled through the actuallyautistic tag on tumblr regularly, and took a dozen online tests. Everything pointed to the fact that I am autistic. For a while, I felt comfortable with self-diagnosis, at least until it became clear that I needed accommodations at work. I finally pursued an official diagnosis at 26, and the process took almost an entire year. I received the paperwork on December 6, 2022. The emotion I expected to feel was relief.
Instead, it was grief.
I grieved for the time wasted not knowing. I grieved for the child who struggled with traumas that still plague my mind and body. I grieved over all the missed opportunities in my life, opportunities to get help, to become independent. I grieved for my present state of affairs, the extreme isolation of leaving the house only for therapy or shopping. I grieved for the rest of my life, which will never be without autism.
As much as I am proud to be autistic, I am angry and sad and scared. So, so scared.
Note: This is okay to reblog. I would like to hear the thoughts and stories of other autistic people in the comments or tags. Allistic people (including allistic ND people) can reblog, too, but please don't add on.
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hiya, i have a doubt. i was diagnosed as neurodivergent but not autistic or adhd. i have primary complex motor steryotypy, sensory, and understanding other peoples feelings issues. i really relate to what u say on here even tho im not on autistic spectrum. is it ok for neurodivergent allistic people to we-blog?
Hi! Yes of course, anyone can reblog my posts, whether you relate or just want to spread awareness :) Being autistic or neurodivergent is not a requirement!
#honestly i really like it when i see people have tagged my post things like 'not autistic but sharing to educate'#reminds me there are allies out there :)#neurodivergent#actually autistic#ask#anon ask
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An Autistic Poll For Personal and Professional Research
I work in mental health, and a topic was touched upon, while talking to my other autistic friend, that I'm interested in and I never really properly thought about or looked into. The question I want to find an answer to is as follows:
As an autistic person (professional- or self-dx), do you have a certain bed time you have to adhere to or risk insomnia symptoms such as not being able to sleep or unable to sleep through a night (waking up every x amount of hours)?
Please reblog so I can reach a wider sample size, if you will! (Yes, allistic people can reblog as well.) Feel free to discuss or share in the replies or in tags.
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Please note, for the purposes of this poll:
Don't post judgments in the notes. (Of people who vote a particular way, of autistics, of whomstever.)
Allistic means non-autistic.
If you're not sure which you are (e.g. you're sure you're allistic, but autistic people keep insisting you're not): I personally think watching this video and seeing whether you tend to be guided by your beliefs, or by new information, is a good quick test.
Nobody can see how you responded. Even I can't see individual responses.
(Unless you say something in a reply/reblog. Everyone can see replies/reblogs, just like on any other post.)
No blame attaches, as my friend @siriosa always says. Your response does not indicate any other opinions about anything. This is not a test. Nor is it secretly a larger question.
It is ESPECIALLY not a test to see which group is more moral, ethical, or politically aware.
I'm just curious about how the information we have access to, and the community discourse around it, plays out if you separate autistic and allistic people. Probably it doesn't, and this is not a scientific study, but I wanna ask.
#actuallyautistic#kind of expecting allistics to come at me again tbh#israel hamas war#israel gaza war#free palestine#jumblr#wall of words#depressing discourse
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i was hoping to stream this afternoon but i woke with my shoulders hurting so bad that i have absolutely zero capacity for anything. to the point where i experienced my first autistic rumbles in the supermarket 🥸 but i have adhd meds now so maybe we can try tomorrow.
zita's suspected i'm on the spectrum for a little while now, but i've always been on the fence about it. there's a lot i don't relate to. but most of that is bc i have so much learned behaviour, and i mask really well. when i try to break down how i think for autism diagnostic quizzes, my gut reactions DO fit the bill, but they are so so so buried under 30 years of life experience that feels like it comes naturally.
but i am an introvert. an extreme introvert. even while living alone with my best friend, who i get on perfectly with and feel zero need to mask around, i still need to excuse myself and be left alone in my room from 10pm at LEAST.
so i only really unmask when i'm dead alone. even though i dont feel like i'm putting up any kind of front around of zita, i still do, automatically. the only time i see myself completely bare is when i'm alone and it's silent and there is absolutely nothing challenging my comfort.
sooooo hoooooo boy waking up in pain, with zero capacity to even finish a thought, still empty of ADHD medication because of the fuckin manufacturing shortage (thankfully today's trip into town was to finally pick some up! but that wasn't until noon), i got to see a side of myself i don't know if i've ever actually seen before? maybe as a kid but i can't remember specifically that far back?
i've been short tempered and overwhelmed and exposed to sensory nightmares whilst home alone before, but it's usually so quick bc i'm at HOME and i can adjust the situation and i never think much of it. i felt like a bluescreen at that supermarket today, popping in for less than 10 things across 3 aisles.
it was so busy. there were so many people. i felt dread just to walk through it, so aware of my own body and the space i had to inhabit. but par for the course so far. what was less par for the course was having to stop and look at my list every 3 steps, unable to put together a course of action in my head: chicken is on the far left, so we grab that first and get broccoli on our way to the soup aisle. but the broccoli is right there. do i grab that first, go get the chicken, but then double back from where i just came? i might get myself some bananas too, how do i fit that into my path—
i had to keep stopping and looking at my list because every item i thought of made me forget the previous one i just looked at. eventually got fed up with myself and went to the closest thing and started there, regardless of whether i'd have to double back or not. that's what trips me when i take these quizzes n shit. i can get over the hump and do the task in the end, so that must mean i'm totally allistic! no autism here.
i remember thinking "jesus christ this is bad" when i was on my way to get zita's soup (if you've read this far, thank you and kisses to you, pls send some loving vibes to zita by reading her fic i just reblogged, bc she's got a cold and is miserable today) so i was kinda aware i was having a bad sensory day. as expected: there were a lot of people there, and i was in pain. but i just short circuited looking at soup. zita gave me the brand name and soup type of 3 cans she wanted. and i went to the aisle i've been to a thousand times, found the brand, and just stared. it was all stew. all chunky brothy things with bits in. not a single creamy soup in sight, so, the soup must be somewhere else.
i came to that conclusion immediately but i couldn't. process it? or like, what to do with that information. the soup is somewhere else. OR IS IT? keep looking at this shelf to make sure, your eyes are tired, you might've missed it. there's like 20 different cans of campbells here, just keep reading them left to right until soup appears. still no soup? read them again, you might've missed it. maybe campbell's is out of soup? read every other brand here until you Don't see soup, then you can walk away and try somewhere else. but if you don't see any soup, read it again because you might've missed it.
thankfully it took all of 30 fuckin seconds for a store employee who was shelving next to me to see my glazed fuckin stare and ask if i needed a hand with anything. and i stammered through some "haha my silly eyes today!! haha thanks! sorry, thank you!" as she happily pointed like 3 metres down the aisle for me, while my internal monologue immediately raged like "wtf why would they put the soup that far away but also barely far away at all, what's the point, bad design 😡"
got soup. check list: packet of gravy. zita told me the gravy was in the same section as the soup. it was not. i walked up and down that aisle five times and there was no gravy. i just. i had completely forgotten how to problem solve. it was the strangest, most frustrating experience. like i was looking at an empty word document in my brain, with a little flashing cursor and everything, so i knew it hadn't frozen over. it was just empty.
i even had the thought "just walk up and down the aisles until you find gravy; you have to do this all the time" and even had ideas of which aisles to start with. but my brain said no. we're not going to walk around aimlessly, even if we have a neat little structure and path to follow. we were told (by myself, too) this would be a quick in out trip, pluck the known items off the shelf and beeline straight for the checkout. so meandering down aisles was for some reason non negotiable. i wasn't in a rush. i had nothing to do today. i barely even felt a rush to get out of there, as busy as it was. it just wasn't an option.
so rather than start solving that problem i just jumped to the next thing on the list. strepsils. text to ask what kind she wants, have a whine about my broken brain, ask if she knows where the gravy is. remember when i pass the hair brushes that i broke my hairbrush this morning and need a new one!! oh and i've been wanting new hairclips too. look at me picking a new hairbrush and poking through the hairclips for one that i know will feel comfortable against my scalp, i'm not autistic because i can change my plans and make decisions on the fly.
oops didn't mean for this post to be an entire play by play of my thoughts through this extremely bland grocery shop. i cannot believe how long i stood there choosing soup. the line at the self checkout was so long and i felt the dread kick up again. barely/silently whispered "oh god" to myself when i realised the line, but repeated it about 20 times to feel the tap of my tongue against the roof of my mouth before i realised i was doing it. stop that, don't mutter to yourself. but i'm standing still in a line and there's nothing left to (ineffectually) problem solve, so the second i stop i notice a weird little slice in the plastic around the trolley handle that i can't stop flicking my thumbnail against.
OK. we need to stim. heard, chef. just click your piercing ffs. your mouth might look weird when you do it but at least everyone can see you're just clicking your teeth against your piercing, rather than talking to yourself or damaging public property.
something made a noise, can't even remember if it was a child or a trolley or what, some loud sharp single high pitched screech a few metres away, and i jolted so hard i thought i felt like i was going to throw up. finally think, fucking hell i'm autistic today. my back hurts. which is making my head hurt. i want to go home and take my vyvanse.
#ghost scribbles#autism#extremely long unimportant recount of my day#but it was quite cathartic to write#feeling very vulnerable and tired now ufgh
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If programming isn’t real then what happened to me. If programming isn’t real why do I have the conditioned responses due to what happened. If programming isn’t real then why am I the way I am. There’s literally no other explanation.
Basically every alleged symptom of the DID programming process described by the likes of Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler is a likely symptom of something else. Many are potential symptoms of other abuses, including corporal punishment, psychological and emotional manipulation, emotional neglect, and the like. These types of abuses have can have far more profound impacts than many of us realize, especially if we grow up in an environment where they're normalized or where adults assure us that they don't count as "real" abuse.
If anything, the DID alter programming myth functions as a way to scapegoat the trauma from being raised in environments like this onto secret cults of devil worshipers so these kinds of people can go on pretending their own childrearing methods aren't inherently abusive.
Now what I'm going to talk about next, I'm not saying that it necessarily applies to you, but I also can't rule it out, and I figure it's good to mention it in a general sense.
At least some of the alleged symptoms of DID programming are symptoms of growing up autistic in a world that hates autistic people. (I'm not saying that you're necessarily autistic, but I can't rule it out, either.) Many autistic people are put through a cruel conditioning process called applied behavior analysis, which is supposed to make them act like allistic people. Autistic people who can't pretend they're allistic are often shunned and bullied, and develop people-pleasing habits as a consequence. This type of conditioning was never carried out on purpose, and yet it was very much carried out.
We can also internalize shitty things people say both to and around us. (Like adults calling certain types of people worthless and undeserving - but whoops, turns out you're one of those kinds of people.) We can also pick up on implicit messages in media that aren't good for our self-worth (like when a trait you have is overwhelmingly depicted in villains, or when people like you are never depicted as attractive). This can impact us in numerous ways, including exacerbating people-pleasing tendencies.
This thread over here mentions some sources of trauma that are often overlooked.
Editing to add in case this post gets reblogged: This anon chimed in with some excellent points, too.
I think it's a safe guess that your life sucked, and that you were not treated well. One way or another, you were hurt very badly, and you did not get the care or comfort you deserved. But saying that your trauma symptoms can only be explained by the alter programming conspiracy theory is like saying the weather patterns of the Little Ice Age could only be explained by witches. Conspiracy theories appear to explain things, but what they're actually doing is offering false explanations in order to further bigger narratives that target a lot of innocent people.
For more information on the origins of the alter programming conspiracy theory, and how we KNOW it's a conspiracy theory, see this post.
#answered#did programming#alter programming#programmed did#trauma#abuse#conditioning#conspiracy theory#conspiracy theories#conspiracism#conspiratorial thinking
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"Hi...! I'm CraftyCorn! Wanna help me with my painting? :)"
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Last Edit: October 7th (New blog tags)
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[Hello there! I'm Mod Tune! Pleasure to meet you all! I'll be running this blog to go with the other Smiling Critters!! Just know, this character is not mine and belongs to the creators of Poppy Playtime!! All art comes from there, too, but I will be making my own as well as fanart and reaction images!!]
[This ask blog currently consists of both Craftycorn and Bigger Craftycorn, as well as BB Crafty's mini critters! So go ahead and shoot any of them some asks! Crafty has her own tags while both BB Crafty and the mini critters share some tags. All of my designs for the characters here are all underneath the cut at the end of the main things on this post, so check those out!]
[This blog will include topics such as depression, loss of sanity, swearing (mostly from mod), harmful thoughts, some acts of violence, and few other topics I cannot name at the time. Interact at your own risk, you have been warned]
[Interested in a Smiling Critters discord server? Just go ahead and read the info here!]
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RULES OF THE BLOG!
1. No inappropriate asks! This is a PG-13 blog!
2. Some violent asks are okay, like basic acts to harm her, but please just do not go overboard with them. As in, do not graphically explain them or have it result in missing limbs. It hurts to read.
3. Ask me before involving me in anything! I've been having issues with this for a few days now, and I need to finally bring it up.
4. No forced roleplaying! Aka, don't narrate my characters for me! Please! I've had one or two asks/reblogs like this, and it really doesn't make me motivated to answer them! Roleplaying characters means I play my characters, and you play yours, don't decide what my characters do for me.
5. Don't spam my inbox/notes often. I have a life outside of this blog, so if I don't answer asks or reblogs, I need you to be patient with me.
6. Do not judge me for my headcanons, roleplay threads, or what friends I have here. It's a very cruel thing to judge, and I'd rather you not.
7. Please, don't steal/repost my art. It may not be much compared to other artists, but I'd like my art to stay my own. Please and thank you.
8. Magic anons are okay!! You're allowed to send them as long as I can understand them and they make sense for the Poppy Playtime universe
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"Normal speech"
Thinking!! Hmmm...
"YELLING!!!!"
"Shh... quiet..."
-Lights, camera, ACTION!-
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The other Smiling Critters!! [GO FOLLOW THE OTHER COOL PEOPLE 🫵]
Dogday (big & small) - @that-sunny-pup (both) & @dogday-shines-bright
Kickin' - @the-cool-chicken
Bubba - @bubba-bubbaphant & @bubbathe-bubbaphant
Hoppy - @hoppyhopscotch1 & @bunny-go-hop-hop
Bobby - @lil-miss-bearhug & @bearhugs-from-bobby
Picky - @picky-piggy
Catnap (big & small) - @acat-foryournap & @catnaplovesnaptime
[And here are the Nightmare Critters!!!]
Baba - @baba-chops-emo-sheep
Rabie - @rabie-baby-bat
Simon - @simon-the-dragon
Allister - @allister-the-procrastigator
Poe - @poe-the-crow
[Mod's HC design of the girl:]
[My bigger body Crafty design!]
[My mini critters' designs!!]
[My favorite Crafty art!]
#craftycorn posts#smiling critters#poppy playtime#craftycorn#my art#poppy playtime fanart#craftycorn fanart#smiling critters fanart#tune sings#bigger body craftycorn#mini critters
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this is an incredibly long thread containing (to my mind) a mixture of useful advice and likely-unhelpful prompts for overthinking, which is why I’ve not reblogged the whole thing, but i think these are useful takeaways:
If you are the infodumping type, and find that this doesn’t always play well in social situations (a problem that is not limited to cases in which the infodumper is autistic and the person who might react poorly to being infodumped at is NT!), it can be helpful to say something like ‘would you like to hear some shark facts?’ or similar. People can, for a lot of different reasons, find it affronting and/or difficult to deal with when you launch into explaining facts to them without a warning or giving them a choice - or an opportunity to establish their level of knowledge about sharks!
When you have an impulse to explain things, you may run the risk of making people feel as if you assume they know less about a subject than you do. Asking questions to establish their level of knowledge can help, and also give them an opportunity to participate in the conversation.
People can feel steamrollered if they don’t have the opportunity to contribute equal talking time to a conversation. Exceptions where this would be considered normal usually involve a power or knowledge hierarchy - for instance, non-experts listening to what an expert has to say. As a result, taking up too much of the talking time can feel like an attempt to claim dominance/expert status and reduce the other person/people to the status of learners or subordinates.
With people you know well, the solution will be unique to the pair or group of you. Some autistic people (and others) enjoy mutual infodumping or listening to infodumping. Some autistic people absolutely share the instinctive unpleasant-feeling responses attributed to ‘allistics’ in the linked thread! There can also be competing access needs issues.
#signed an autistic person who is more often than not the aggrieved dumpee#we’re becoming less aggrieved but also people are learning to do this in ways that work better for me
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I heard something interesting today, which is that a lot of autistic people are the Meyers-Briggs personality type INFJ. It got me interested, because I'm autistic and I tested as INFJ when I took the test! I even just retook it to check. I feel called out lol
I don't put a lot of stock in personality tests, but I'm really curious to see whether this is accurate and decided to bring it to the gay trans autistic webbed site.
A link to a site where you can take the Meyers-Briggs test online is at the bottom, and so is a description of the INFJ personality type. Just make sure to take your results with a grain of salt, personality tests are interesting but a large part of them is bunk science.
So without further ado,
Link to take the Meyers-Briggs personality test:
Link to a description of the INFJ personality profile:
Please reblog this to boost it so we can get better results!
#autism#actually autistic#meyers briggs#personality tests#allism#I was going to write “and I'm allistic/have allism” and I'm I'd be right in doing that but nobody says they “have allism” lol
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Verbal Terminology in Autistic Tumblr Survey Results
After quite a long while (and for that I apologise) I’ve finished the results of a survey about the descriptivist uses of the terms Nonverbal/Non-Speaking and Semiverbal/Semi-Speaking in Tumblr’s Autism Community. This survey was originally intended to cover more, and just be a fun side project that unfortunately ended up with many flaws throughout the whole process. I'll go into specifics more at the end in the “Further Notes” section!
All that to say, I heavily implore you to do your own research and listen to others outside of this survey about these terms. Admittedly I think this survey is best taken as a small peek into how a very small group of people currently use these terms, in a fun non-informational survey format. (Also this was my first time doing image ids, so well i tried my best they might be really bad and for that i apologise in advance!!)
Demographic Questions
[image id: a bar graph called “What Would You Call Yourself” with the options going top to bottom the graph says Nonverbal at 16 (3.5%), Semiverbal at 118 (25.9%), Someone Who temporarily Loses Speech or Temporarily Can’t Talk at 308 (67.7%), Verbal or At allistic Level at 171 (37.6%), and Hyperverbal at 95 (20.9%) end id]
First things first I looked at the different ways survey respondents identified personally, and at a base level we can see most people said they had varying speech levels. The next highest given types overall were Semiverbal and Speaking Autistics, with Nonverbal being the least used term among survey participants. Due to this being multiple choice I also looked at what group of responses where most common:
[image id: a bar graph of Unique Term Use Types. The highest is Temporary Only at 141 respondents. The next Highest is VT (Verbal and Temporary) at 60, followed closely by Verbal Only at 59. The rest in order of highest to lowest is Semiverbal Only at 41, ST (Semiverbal and Temporary) at 33, TH (Temporary and Hyperverbal) at 29, Other Combinations at 21, VTH (Verbal, Hyperverbal, and Temporary) at 19, Hyperverbal Only at 18, SVT and STH and VH are all tied at 8, SV (Semiverbal and Verbal) at 6, and finally Nonverbal Only at 4 respondents. end id]
This graph more clearly shows that a majority of responders would consider their verbal speech levels to change, but only a minority of that group also considers themself Semi or Non-Verbal. You can all also see how a majority of responders considered themself either as just temporarily losing speech or a combination group using the Verbal option, which highlights a potential bias in the future questions. (Also the other section is for all combinations that got under 1% of respondents individually!)
[image id: A pie chart pf praticapent’s age groups. The highest at 56% is 18-29 year olds, with 13-17 place at 38.2%. The rest have the percents cut off but in order are 30-29, Under 13, and then 40+ year olds. End id]
Most responders fell in the age ranges of 13-29. This seems to follow general Tumblr trends after a quick search, but possibly leans a few years younger then the general user base. The lack of older adults taking the survey is unfortunate as some of these terms have been around for a while, and it’s always a plus to get an all ages response on surveys like these.
[image id: A pie chart titled “Where did you find the survey”, The top choice being “Another Tumblr Blog” at 59.1%, and the 2nd “Nd Culture Is” at 37.1%. You can see the slices for “From Someone I Know” and various Other Responses in the pie chart, with the other responses blurred out in the index sheet. end id]
This graph is admittedly a bit worthless, as I made it before deciding where I was going to post the survey to, so a decent amount of people, both those who selected “Another Blog” or Other mentioned getting it straight from the og post or a reblog of it. So needless to say i wasn’t quite exact enough by what i meant in this question (which was to see how far it spread vs any bias from just my “in-group” so to say), but it does does imply that that the survey didn’t make it far from the groups I posted it in. Which is expected with how little "promoting" was done during the survey period.
NonVerbal / NonSpeaking
[image id: a multiple bar graph showcasing the correlation between how responders self identified vs how they define Nonverbal. Going from top to bottom is The Fully Always option chosen by 3 from Nonverbal Only, Masking with no chosen responses, Little to No Speech at 2 from Nonverbal and other Terms Users, Allow Temporary at 9 from Nonverbal and other Term Users plus 7 from Nonverbal and Temporary and an intentional Nonverbal Only Responder, then All Above with 1 Nonverbal and Temporary plus a Nonverbal Plus Response, Followed lastly by Other Definitions with no responses. End id]
Before going over this data I want to reiterate that the survey had very few nonverbal people taking it, so this data is not going to be all possibly not even most, nonspeaking people’s option on defining those terms. Next The N Plus section on the graph includes the N and T groups as well as other responders who marked themself with more than just the Nonverbal role. That said it seems that the greater community tends to lean towards the “Someone who has periods or is always not able to speak and/or can't speak well” option, and well quite a few nonverbal autistics agree, there’s a group especially among those who only consider themselves nonverbal who prefer defining it as those who always can’t speak fully ever. This matches with trends i’ve personally seen in the nonverbal tags of nonverbal people preferring definitions that centre on the lack of verbalness, even completely or most of the time vs speaking autistics using more broader terms, but again with such a lack of nonspeaking people involved there is no solid reliability to the data.
SemiVerbal / SemiSpeaking
[image id: a multiple bar graph showcasing the correlation between how respondents self identified vs how they define Semiverbal. Going from top to bottom is Partly All with 8 from Semiverbal Only plus 7 Semiverbal and Temp and 10 from Semiverbal Plus, Next is Inbetween with 24 from Semiverbal Only and 42 from Semiverbal and Temp plus 53 from Semiverbal Plus, Lose Speech has 5 from Semiverbal Only plus 6 from Semiverbal and Temp and 8 from Semiverbal Plus,All Above with 2 from both Semiverbal and Temp plus Semiverbal Only, Context-Based with no responses, and finally Other with 1 from Semiverbal Only plus 2 from Semiverbal and Temp and 3 from Semiverbal Plus. end id]
Like The Nonverbal Section, The S Plus section on the graph includes the S and T groups as well as other responders who marked themself with more than just the Semiverbal role. Otherwise, from this graph we see an overall trend of including anybody “between nonverbal and verbal” regardless of how the respondents identified themself. There also seems to be less of a disconnect between those who are semiverbal vs the greater community when compared to the results of Nonverbal, although whether that is a bias of the survey or a general trend is hard to tell. Most respondents who chose Other seem to have given either an all of the above answer (which I might have manually included???) or mentioned a definition using the idea of always struggling with speech but at different levels.
Further Notes
One thing I really wish I had done was involve more nonverbal and semiverbal people in the whole process of making this, i think looking back there’s definitely moments were you could tell this was made by a speaking autistic and I really didn’t do nearly enough to include and uplift the voices of those who this survey was literally about. In a similar vein I forgot about pretty much every non-autistic community who uses these terms, but also didn’t make it clear enough that it was unintentional, leaving not only countless voices unheard but accidentally ostracising those whose voices are equally as important as what this survey managed to cover.
Alongside that I was very unclear in what some questions meant to the point even future-me wasn’t sure what the data was for, plus I bit off much more than I could chew, making for a messy at best survey experience. As such survey taker’s might notice not every question was given space here, and that is simply because I couldn't process the data in a timely manner.
I did however let people opt-in to sharing further notes about how they use these terms and will share some of those under the read more with no individual commentary so as to let people speak fully for themselves:
There is a gap in the language available to describe autistic difficulties with speech. Verbal should describe the ability to use language, written or spoken, but in the context of neurodivergency almost always describes speech only. Non-speaking would be a more appropriate term and would free up nonverbal as a term for autistics who struggle with written and spoken English (as in syntax or language in general, not spelling). This has been talked about in high support need circles but is not mainstream.
I think we should look to the wheelchair users for language design, specifically the differences with the language around full time wheelchair user and ambulatory/part time wheelchair user
i wish mostly speaking people would find other ways of explaining their experiences without using nonverbal/nonspeaking people's language. we already have a much harder time communicating and when our language is taken or used in different ways that makes people confused about the meaning and they assume that the experience of mostly speaking people is the same as mostly or fully nonverbal/nonspeaking people. when actually the overall experience is very different
I am not sure exactly where I fit within being verbal but losing speech and struggling to speak almost always, or if I am semiverbal. I think the lines between all of these terms can be blurry, but I think it's bad how verbal autistics who lose speech occasionally (and often talk about being able to push through this and force themselves to speak - which is how I feel almost all the time) have taken these terms which makes it very hard to find content from people whose experiences with speech are similar to mine or who are nonverbal. I think it's connected to how in general lower support needs autistics take most of the space in the autistic community and it can feel isolating for people like me who are higher support needs.
And well this survey was about English specifically, I want to share what this survey respondent said about how the terms work in their language and how that affects their usage of these terms:
third of all: the alternatives to that, such as "losing speech", "having verbal shutdown", or "going mute"... simply do not work in some languages. and as proof, let me show you my beautiful native language, that being ukrainian!
"losing speech" = our word for speech equals our word for talk. when losing speech, i CAN talk - but not by using my voice.
"verbal shutdown" = our word for shutdown is not being used in the same way as in english and there is no good alternatives.
"going mute" = our word for mute has a very long and complicated and problematic history, and is not something most people would be comfortable saying!
so, that means that i am left with absolutely no phrases to use in my language - because the only one, that being "going/becoming non-verbal" which is translatable and has the same meaning - is not an option anymore.
#survey#neurodivergent#actually neurodivergent#actually autistic#long post#cw long post#emri.exe#i'm still not certain if this is actually legible as one long ass Tumblr post#and not a reblog chain but that was much harder mechanically to make in advance :/
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forgive me on possible poor wording on this post (suggestions and discussion are welcome and open) i'm really not feeling well right now and i struggle with articulating myself because of brainfog.
tumblr is an echo chamber but if you say that you're accused of being a fascist or whatever when it's just plainly and simply true. it's genuinely wonderful to have an online space dominated by autistic people and leftists but the disadvantages of such a space rear their head quite quickly when you think about it for more than five seconds.
(there is NOTHING inherently wrong with the way autistic people think vs allistic people think, merely i think a lot of us struggle with the same issues that can sometimes inhibit our understanding of the world around us and experiences different from our own)
autism being the norm is fun and cool until you try to explain the nuances of like, for example, online behavior. because i think a lot of us struggle with black or white thinking that goes unquestioned and it can lead to really unhealthy habits. like yeah terfs are shitty people and we should reject their ideas, but spending your spare time sending random people on the internet gore is really weird, is giving them more attention than they deserve, and is overall a waste of time that can't be good for your mental health. and if you explained to anyone offline that one of your hobbies is sending gore or suicide baiting people on the internet, even with those people being bigots, they will be weirded out. it's not healthy to put that much emotional energy into your oppressor. it's just weird. go for a walk or something, girl. i can't watch this.
(creating public campaigns against specific terfs just gives them more of a platform and a weird victim complex. most importantly, you're putting your transfem friends and mutuals in danger by exposing them to this shit and giving transmisogynists a way to find them!)
(i don't say any of this to be shitty about autistic people i just think our brains are wired or whatever to make it really easy to fall down weird pipelines. hence why 4chan was filled with a lot of autistic white dudes. a lot of us are fairly susceptible to rhetoric if it goes unquestioned and aligns with our personal unchallenged world views.)
another example, if you say the r slur in real life everybody is just going to think you're saying the r slur. the average person (who also is chill with the r slur and probably uses it themselves) will be like haha yeah. and the average autistic or intellectually disabled person will be like oh good god i need to stay away from them. but for some reason people on here think they can reclaim the r slur by using it as a slur online (especially when they themselves are NOT intellectually disabled and have ZERO right to reclaim that term). you've all been infected by 4chan brain and you don't even see it because you've convinced yourself being a coldhearted edgy bully is cool and that being shitty to, for example, people with social anxiety is funny and aligns perfectly with your progressive persona (you reblog posts about social justice but you're a dick to everyone you've ever met and you have no friends because you're a negative person who is genuinely unpleasant to be around)
image credit goes to: @batmanreturnsnineteenninetytwo
and did you know that randomly deciding to make asexuals or polyamorous people (people who deviate from the norm) the butt of your jokes and calling them freaks and shit is actually progressive? everyone has just been slowly and slowly becoming more mask off disgusting and it's wild to me. on tumblr.com, you people are being shitty to anyone who deviates from the norm? i mean. who am i kidding. this website hates trans women and people from the global south more than anything so i haven't believed tumblr was a truly "forward-thinking" space since i was a naïve young teenager.
people who lose their shit about tankies. people who clutch their pearls about misandry and "transandrophobia"... people who accuse all palestinians of being scammers. people who send suicide bait and debate with bigots they should really be ignoring. people who make fun of people with a complicated relationship with sex or with social anxiety. you freaks are everywhere and you're all ridiculously reactionary, you just dress it up as progressivism and how to be cool on the internet or whatever. i'm SOOOOOOOO tired...
100% a line of thinking inspired by this very spot-on post, as well as the interaction that had in the comments with @deepseasmetro - thank you!
tumblr is a flimsy ego-boosting platform that's filled with bullies who hide behind their politics and relationship with oppression meanwhile they don't give a fuck about anyone who has less than them, who has it worse than them. it's all about the oppression olympics, looking cool, and punching down. obviously most of us with a head on our shoulders know this already but it truly never ceases to astound me tbh 😐
it's the same people posting inspiring poetry & textposts about kindness and love and small animals that are out here telling teenagers to kill themselves!
anyway. while you're here please donate to hamada and mohammed and heba and her father bakr ⭐️
#sorry for using the word progressive so much i genuinely can't think of a better word i am so sorry#by correct me or make suggestions i'm referring to like. the way i speak about the global south and palestine#because i am white and usamerican#not 'i was in this post and i don't like it' or some liberal bullshit#if the fundraiser links at the end seem random they are there because#i refuse to make a point in a post using palestine as an example without including a fundraiser#this is very rambling but it's okay if you reblog#my posts#palestine#d-nations#tumblr#actually autistic
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Some polls to see color association differences between autistic and non-autistic (allistic) individuals
You're currently on the autistic poll, (which you can see down below) which only autistic folks should answer /// this link is to the allistic poll: allistic poll
reblog for larger sample size! (science!!! :D)
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