#all you want is another femme twink you can bottom

[bloomandcoffee]

Anyway, I'm voting for Lambert eventhough I know for a fact that tumblr's taste is vanilla shit. Like not even proper DILF appreciation. Ya'll made Rodrigue win in that poll and I will never forget that.

Quarterfinals: Battle of the >;)

Remember, I don't want the one you like the most. I want the one you'd fuck.

Feel free to post your justifications in the tags/comments!

[female-malice]

What do you mean by rearranging lesbian experiences to mirror gay male ones? I don't know if I've seen this phenomenon anywhere

I see it everywhere.

Top and bottom only refer to the logistics of gay men having anal sex. That's it. That's all it means. You can't mirror the top/bottom concept onto lesbian sex because that makes absolutely no sense. But people do it anyway because they don't think lesbian relationships are gay enough without gay male words.

I've seen people try to equate butches with tops and femmes with bottoms. And then they try to equate butches with bears and femmes with twinks. Enough. Everything about that is wrong on every level. Throw it all out.

Words like "fruit" and "fairy" and "limp wrist" don't refer to lesbians. So why do lesbians on the internet try to reclaim these words? Our experiences don't mirror gay men's experiences.

Drag is another one. Do we need to make drag kings a big entertainment product like the one drag queens have? Do we need to mirror gay men here? I don't know. It just doesn't feel like something we would do on our own. Lesbian interest in drag king shows over the years has been lukewarm at best. Most dykes don't want to cut their fishing trips short to go to the club.

And lesbians already have a big entertainment product. We pretty much run women's sports. That's just how it happened. And gay men don't need to mirror us, either. It goes both ways. Gay male athletes don't need to come out of the closet and host parties and make couples podcasts. They could, but they won't.

Many lesbian couples use sperm donors to get pregnant and give birth to biological children. Gay men don't need to mirror us. They don't need to get surrogates and have biological children.

We share legal and social struggles and we can bond and connect over that. But we are different groups of people. Gay men do not represent lesbians.

[gutsfics]

pls google top and bottom and bdsm. many queers are into bdsm too (like me). things like you said tonight hurt and diminish us. i want to educate you so you know there are more than one meaning and i hope it isn't your wish to hurt us. i like your blog and i hope you would post this to educate. i don't want to unfollow but this is not the first time you did this and i am start to feel like you are not safe.

okay i have googled it (just so we're on the same page i haven't used google in about a year as i haven't found it trustworthy since people started being able to pay for their sites to show up in search results first. i use duckduckgo)

here's one article i found

and another

and here's two more that specifically mention BDSM

what this search has done for me has confirmed that the terms "top" and "bottom" originated in gay communities specifically in reference to whether one is penetrating or being penetrated during sex (and just to get it out of the way, yes i am aware that penetration doesn't always happen in sex), and adopted by other communities to mean other things

and like. yeah man. that happens with language. language is fluid, words change their meaning with time and location.

my problem, which i am fully aware i have never properly articulated and that is on me 100%, is the way these words have evolved to mean what they mean in different communities.

in both gay and straight communities, the act of penetration is seen as masculine and the act of being penetrated is seen as feminine. how often is it expected that the big burly bear masc tops the tiny flowy femme twink? and in straight communities, a man being pegged by a woman is seen as emasculating and shameful as being penetrated is seen as a woman's role. yes, times are changing and these views are being challenged, but these views have to exist first to be challenged. if they didn't exist, this would be a nonissue. topping and bottoming has essentially just become the gender binary 2 in vanilla communities.

so surely you can understand why i am made uncomfortable when a word that is used to mean penetration is also used to mean dominant and in control, and when a word used to mean being penetrated is used to mean submissive. you can penetrate while being submissive and you can be penetrated while being dominant.

besides, it's not like there aren't any other words to refer to who's in control and who isn't in BDSM spaces. that's what "dom" and "sub" refer to.

i am also aware that not all sex has dominant and submissive roles in it.

granted, while i myself am interested in BDSM, i haven't interacted with any BDSM community, irl or online, and i can understand how my own- rather limited- knowledge and experiences can lead me to saying something hurtful to someone. i am truly sorry for hurting you, anon. not every thought i post to this blog is given the same amount of consideration and thought as this post.

that being said, i would like to reiterate what i said last night about your final line, anon. do not hold yourself hostage in my inbox again. i will not respond to any further attempts to guilt trip me like this, from you or anyone else. if you want to unfollow me, you can unfollow me and i will not hold that against you. you have to curate your own experience to truly feel safe on the internet, i know this first hand.

[non-binharry]

Another person here who prefers reading bl (the most that is, I can read share/bh too, it's really just a preference.) Thing is though it's FICTION for a reason. I don't confuse or claim that what I read in fanfiction is what real life is like. Just like they're not real life vampires or pirates or whatever else xD Actually, I would say my opinions on irl H/L is very different from fic pref, it's based on what I've seen from the boys themselves and their dynamic. So I'm not speculating or (1/?)

(2/?) making up little fantasies on how I would like things to be. Anything else is simply THEIR LIVES and none of my business. I do agree that a lot of new bl-fics tend to be a certain way. Which have been a reason for me to go back to old favorites and lean more towards 'they kinda share that really'. They're just more in character. You can also feel a stark difference in how a bh/sub H fic, Louis is usually still the same sweet guy he always is and still maintain all his curvy features etc.

(3/?) He even bottoms in some scenes, there's a lot of powerbottom L/sub H out there. Give me ONE fic where Louis is a sub/Harry is a Dom and H bottoms? In even just a scene? I personally would love to read it, but it's not an easy find. But yeah, the problem is definitely people who claim their fanfiction as CANON when it's literally an AU. Where did the ultra feminine baby girl Louis even come from? If it's the clothes he used to wear way back in 2011-2012, then I still don't see it. It was

(4/?) camp and daring and GAY and I loved him being different like that, but it's nowhere near the way he's portrayed by some people. Also I feel like the same people say H was much 'manlier' or whatever when they were literally both little twinks back then (Twinks meant with love here.) I was here in 2012 and the way Harry acted even then, pirouttes on stage and just the way he moved around in general. The 'frat boy era' that came after does not count. Louis also changed here anyway and became

(5/?) more rugged/less flamboyant and we all know why so. 2013 was painful and I don't miss it even if some people seem to love it/miss it a lot. And even if Louis has worn eye-shadow on occasion or even panties (I just know of one time when it was actually confirmed with a picture) it still doesn't mean he's secretely wearing only femme clothing. Even straight guys can wear these things if they so wish and it doesn't have to change anything. Louis looking a certain way also doesn't make him

(6/6) the 'woman' of the relationship. Nor does it make him the little spoon. I'm a woman, on the shorter side and I love to be the big spoon, holding them close and 'jetpacking' them or whatever ;) Harry said he's the little spoon anyway and that is what truly matters. This became long, but just wanted to chime in on how not everyone who reads BL is a 'Blouie'. More Bl fics to the people! Just keep it in-character/don't make H/L into actual original characters and I'll be there! :)

[raijinhasverybigpecs]

tu’er headcanons that i probably should’ve done and posted along with the main oc post but it’s too late now

can i just say that he’s short lol. taller than awilix by a few cm

sentimental as hell, his temple is cluttered with lots of offerings. he’s kind of a hoarder but shhh

big tea lover, adores holding tea parties and little get togethers in his temple. naturally loves bubble tea as well 😌

natural recluse, aphrodite keeps trying to drag him out of his shell but he’s just a loser like that. also hates drawing attention to himself

yes he listens to pop music. do you really think a gay rabbit twink wouldn’t stan loona?

very private about his past. he won’t tell anyone.

good memory! you’ve got to have one when you’re matching people around the world anyways

cordial but distant relationships with most of the gods. hates violence so he won’t talk with the more chaotic gods at all. he’ll work with them in battle but not anymore than he has to

a cardio bunny, does a lot of running in some terribly short shorts. does a lot of gymnastics as well, it’s partly an excuse to wear bright lycra but being real flexible comes in handy in many different situations

sensitive hearing. you guess why :P

eyes change colour from red to light pink according to what mood he’s in. red is happy, negative emotions are very pale reds and positive & romantic emotions equal bright pinks

can change his appearance to some extent - can remove the bunny ears and tail (as he’s not actually a rabbit god, just somewhat associated with them)

romantic/god relationship/nsfw stuff below the cut!

romantic headcanons

naturally he’s very romantic. loves a big gesture but definitely not anything too gaudy or attention grabbing, something like chocolates and a teddy bear is very up his alley

subtle flirt, says little comments and compliments here and there to test the water then he pounces (or bunny hops?). he’ll keep up with whatever you’ve got if he’s looking for something carnal and isn’t afraid to talk dirty to get what he wants out of you

but if he’s romantically interested then’s he’s very easily flustered and embarrassed. he’ll only do that if he’s really into you though~

moves very slowly in a relationship but he falls in love quickly. it’s always been an issue for him but he’s learnt a lot of self-control so you’ll have to really show your dedication to him to gain his trust

god relationship stuff - kinda nsfw lol

also if someone isn’t included that doesn’t mean i hate them (hi cu chu...) i just got tired and these are the more obvious relationships i thought about lol. maybe send in an ask about other gods ;^)

achilles - gay alliance 🙏 they have that gay relationship where there’s a lot of flirting but they’re just having fun. tu’er shen recommends romantic things for achilles to do so he can get those brownie points (and he’s totally on the threesome list for achilles and patroclus lol)

amaterasu - friends! they like to geek over cute things while they go shopping with each other and tu’er shen helps pick out outfits for her dates. they often have tea together as well :)

aphrodite - they’re very close friends, they also have a mentor relationship. they’re very emotionally open with each other and it’s very common to find them talking to each other over tea. both will hunt you to the ends of the earth if you talk shit about the other

apollo - another gay alliance 🙏 apollo brings out the fun in tu’er shen and they do a lot of dumb stuff together. tu’er shen still dunks on apollo tho as he can never get a partner cuz he’s a clown. and they’ve messed around before, usually it’s for some god who wants to see two twinks making out (or doing something worse!) ;^)

bacchus - the top to tu’er shen’s bottom. yet another gay alliance 😳🙏 essentially just apollo but more intense. tu’er shen has done a lot of kinky stuff at bacchus’ parties that he says he regrets but they both know he likes being a thot lmao

bastet - like aphrodite but more playful and fun. tu’er shen basically knows that if he goes to visit bastet and they go out that he’ll end up having a one night stand somewhere and he’s not mad about it. tu’er shen gets teased a lot by bastet as well :^)

chang'e - a very quiet and peaceful relationship. sometimes chang’e will drop in for tea and they’ll spend some time enjoying each others company, otherwise they’re not super close. they’ll acknowledge each other with a nice smile and wave :) also tu’er shen really adores her relationship with hou yi as well (duh!) but less likes talking to hou yi cuz he’s a bit cocky

cupid - i refuse to write anything about this bobblehead lmao. cupid’s probs jealous about all that extra time tu’er shen is spending with aphro but he pros doesn’t care that much otherwise cuz he’s more popular lol

freya - just like aphrodite and bastet but tu’er shen sees her less. tu’er shen is a bit intimidated by her but whenever they get to talk they get on very very well. lots of romantic fluff between them

essentially aphro, bastet and freya are trying to get tu’er shen a boyfriend but he won’t let down his walls so getting laid is a decent alternative lmao. also aphro/bastet/freya and tu’er shen spend a day every few weeks watching romance films and naturally they’re common guests for tea :)

mercury - not a very close relationship (like chang’e!) but tu’er shen sometimes has him over for tea when he gets time between serving as a delivery boy as merc makes tu’er shen laugh. they might’ve messed aroudn a few times but it’s very casual :^)

mulan - one again they’re not super close but tu’er shen likes to help mulan take a break every now and then and she updates him on what’s happening. tu’er shen basically idolises mulan as well, he’s a bit starstuck by her whenever they talk lol

neith - they’re pretty close actually! they have a lot of things in common and they often hang around mortals any play matchmaker or just pretend to be human. it’s all very fluffy lol

nu wa - same as mulan, tu’er shen is very in awe of how regal and powerful she is. rarely do they meet up together but nu wa is a very smart and witty guest who sometimes knows tu’er shen better than himself

raijin - i mean... naturally i ship them but outside of that i will say that tu’er shen disliked him at first because he’s so loud and rowdy but seeing how friendly and loyal raijin is + them mascles + the fact that he’s just fighting for fun unlike many other gods makes him develop a lil ~crush~ on raijin. if i’m not shipping them together then they’d have tea together that would lead to casual sex lol

but yes, i’m shipping them together so suck it lmao. essentially they’re the bara jock and twink prep pairing which is how god intended it to be :^)

ravana - same thing as raijin inviting people in for ‘tea’. tu’er shen knows that if he really wants to get dominated he’s gotta see ravana in private and ravana is always ready... it’s rare when bunny boy has that urge but when he does they do stuff that’s intense enough for apollo to blush :^)

serqet - fashion. style. runway. nouns! they’re style buds and they help pick out outfits for each other and she comes around often for tea to gossip together~ he’s also a bit imtimdated by her but she’s very nice to him lol

tu’er shen likes to help neith and serqet make and try on outfits. that’s also how he’s got all those sexy bedroom outfits...

nsfw stuff :^) i mean who else is gonna write it lol

i like saying he’s a bottom but he’s vers and bottom leaning. adjusts accordingly for his partner as he’s happy to do whatever

flexible, no gag reflex, etc etc. he’s a pro and he knows it.

he doesn't actually have that much sex though as he’s (mostly) reserved. he is basically horny at all times but extremely good at controlling himself

prefers long sessions where he can release all that pent up energy and really get his partner to enjoy themselves and get into the lovin’ mindset. is ready to go again and again and again otherwise...

big collection of sex toys. it’s how he spends all that time alone...

loves roleplaying and wearing femme outfits. stockings are hot :^)

and with that eye colour thing, hot pink is when he’s really turned on <3

semen kink, actually likes swallowing. he likes a big finish, what can i say

[gayagendaofficial]

Wait, what’s gay lingo? Like, what does twink, bear, etc. mean?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!

Before I get into actually defining these terms, I’d like to write about a few things:

So this is probably in reference to this post I made. Not to explain the joke to death, but that’s exactly what I’m about to do. I wanted to make fun of how people who aren’t mlm think they know what mlm terms like “twink” and “bear” mean and how they blatantly use them incorrectly everywhere, because they think they’re funny (bc gay men are a joke, right? //sarcasm), or because it makes them look “woke”. It’s an idea I had for the longest time when I saw something a str8 woman wrote about Zac Efron being a twink, in the present. Like yes, Zac Efron was a twink, past tense, but he is absolutely not a twink anymore (if you can even call a str8 man a twink). And she also implied that being a twink is something you can’t outgrow, which is laughable, because it’s kind of a meme among gay men that being a twink is something you grow out of whether you like it or not.

This mostly seems to be a problem among cishet women, since cishet men tend to be too concerned with their “masculinity” to touch gay culture. But since this is tumblr and virtually none of you are cishet, a lot of the times I’ve seen people misuse these terms on this site were LGBT+ people who weren’t themselves mlm. In those cases, the reasons seem more that these people are just misinformed, and they use these terms because mlm use these terms, and we share a community. Part of it comes from the fact that wlw might see the terms “twink” and “bear” as analogous to “femme” and “butch” respectively, which is not true in the slightest (Butch and femme are their own complex thing. What they actually have in common with twink and bear is that few outside their communities actually know what they mean lol).  Another reason might be that other LGBT people see mlm using these terms sarcastically and think they’re being used in earnest; if an actual gay man calls a bodybuilder a twink, he’s probably being sarcastic, and also probably trying to insult him (which is a whole can of worms I’ll open up in a bit).

I’m gonna try to define what “twink”, “bear”, and a couple of other terms actually mean, as well as give a little bit of context to how they’re used and controversy surrounding these identities within gay spaces, partially based on my experience as a gay man and partially based on casual research. I’m just one gay man, and I’m not an expert in queer studies or anything, so take from that what you will. I hope this will be useful to mlm who are just discovering their identities and exploring their sexuality/gender, who are new to the community, and I also hope to inform our siblings elsewhere in the LGBT community. This info could also be useful to cishet allies, although please be mindful of your intentions in using these terms.

Anywho, lets get to the definitions:

A twink is a young, smooth, slim mlm. The definition here is generally seen as being pretty strict on those 3 criteria, although “twink” is sometimes used for older mlm who are skinny and don’t have much body hair. Those last two criteria are the most important, because there are other categories for mlm that fit one of the criteria; an otter is essentially twink + bodyhair, and there’s a whole host of other words for other body types.

The definition of “bear” is a little more flexible than “twink”, although it generally comes down to the inverses of those same 3 criteria. The most important of these is the bodyhair requirement; any definition you find of bear includes something about being hairy. Almost as important as bodyhair is body type, although “bear” covers a slightly larger range than twink in that regard. Usually, “bear” indicates that someone is large or plus-sized, although it can also sometimes be used to describe someone who is muscular in the sense that they are beefy (if you can see a 6 pack, he’s probably not a bear). It’s also sometimes associated with being slightly older, but that’s not nearly as important, and “bear” can refer to any age. The term “cub” refers to mlm with the same body type as a bear, but who are smooth and young.

Now, let’s get into some misconceptions/controversies surrounding these terms. The first of these is that twink and bear are the only two options, and that all mlm fall into one of these two categories, or that other terms are simply variations on those two main terms. This misconception is really only one held by people who aren’t mlm themselves (or are, but are only just learning the terminology). These terms are extremely specific, and the fact of the matter is that the vast majority of mlm don’t fit into either of these categories. And that’s ok! There are a ton of other words mlm use to describe themselves. I’ve already mentioned “otter” and “cub”; there’s also “jock”, which refers to muscular mlm; “wolf”, which also refers to muscular mlm, but specifically hairy ones (with a bit of overlap with the “beefier bears” I mentioned earlier); the relatively new term “twunk” which you may know from this video as “a combination twink and hunk”; and many many more. In addition, all of these categories are really just physical descriptions of your body, and don’t have any bearing on anything else. You don’t need to fit into any of them.

That being said, there are a number of stereotypes associated with these terms, and it is important to address them.

Our next misconception is one that’s as common among mlm as as it is among everyone else: that twinks are by definition fem, and bears are by definition masc. “Masc” and “fem”, short for masculine and feminine respectively, come with their own host of problems, and that is a can of worms that I am not going to open up right now. This post is long enough as it is. If you want the sparknotes version of the controversy surrounding the masc-fem dichotomy, it basically boils down to misogyny, transphobia, and internalized homophobia. But back to twinks and bears: I would like to assume that it’s obvious that your body type or bodyhair has absolutely no impact  on your personal presentation of gender. There are plenty of fem bears and masc twinks. But unfortunately, most people don’t seem to get this. And this super important, because the gendered way we think of these terms affects everything else I’ll be talking about in the remainder of this post.

My next point, which is really and observation based on my experience in the gay community, is that bear as a term seems to be much less… loaded. However, being a twink myself, there might be a gap in my personal experience, so any bears feel free to correct me. However, from what I’ve seen, “bear” isn’t really used as an insult in the way “twink” is. Which is a bit of a miracle, considering how prevalent fat-shaming is in the gay community. From what I’ve seen, bear isn’t a term that’s forced on you, it’s a term that bears choose for themselves, almost always in a positive way. It’s a term associated with body positivity, and bear communities seem to be much less toxic than the gay community as a whole. Even when it’s used to describe someone else, it’s always a neutral statement of fact. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it used as an insult, or even sarcastically. The worst I’ve seen of it is that it’s used as a porn category, which contributes to the fetishization of fat people; but then again, twink and jock are also porn categories, so it would be weird for bear not to be. This isn’t to suggest that bears are treated better than anyone else in the gay community, if anything they’re treated worse; just that the word “bear” itself has neutral to positive connotations. (Again, any bears correct me on this if you’ve seen it used negatively!)

Twink, on the other hand, is absolutely used as an insult, and frequently. And while this may sometimes be harmless, more often than not it’s really problematic. If you’re plus-sized and you use twink as an insult in the same vein that Nicki Minaj said “fuck the skinny bitches”, that’s completely fine. Twinks are seen as being desirable (if they behave a certain way; more on that later), so effectively it’s punching up instead of punching down. However, a good 95% of the time that “twink” is used as an insult, it really comes from one of the many stereotypes that all essentially boil down to the idea that twinks are fem. And the idea that being fem is inherently bad and insult worthy is, once again, rooted in misogyny, transphobia, and internalized homophobia. 

This association between twinks and femininity also has a lot of scary implications on the beauty standards twinks are held to. I’ve noticed that twinks fill a niche in the gay community that is similar to the role cis women are supposed to fill in western culture as large, and that we’re only seen as sexually valuable if we perform the same behaviors and meet the same beauty standards that are typically reserved for women. We’re bottoms by default, submissive both in and out of the bedroom (yes I actually am a sub bottom, but that’s beside the point). We’re supposed to maintain a completely smooth, hairless appearance; a shaved ass is the bare minimum of hygiene. I once met a guy on grindr who demanded that I be completely hairless everywhere beneath my eyelashes, and while that’s a bit extreme, he was by no means an outlier. Just today I talked to a guy who wanted me hairless between my neck and knees. We’re often seen as vapid and stupid, and infantilization of twinks is rampant (some guys put way too much emphasis on the young part of the definition). And, to cap it all off, there’s the racism! Who’d’a thunk that all forms of oppression are connected? (sarcasm). Twinks can of course be any race, but the ones you’ll see men on grindr going after the most are white or light-skinned Asian twinks. Combine that with stereotypes of Black, Latino, and Middle Eastern men as dominant and aggressive, and you have a whole slew of white supremacist ideas painted over with a thin coat of gay porn.  (mlm of color who’d like to add or correct me on anything, please do so!)

I’ll end this already long post with a comparatively brief discussion on who these terms apply to. Basically, if you’re an mlm and you fit the definition of “twink” or “bear”, congratulations! You’re a twink/bear! “Can bi men use these terms?” Of course! “What about trans men?” Are you attracted to men and male-aligned people? Then of course! That last one might be controversial to some cis gays, and to that I say fuck right off. However, it does get a bit muddier with trans women and transfem nonbinary people and the word twink. Trans women are absolutely not mlm, but many of them have been a part of mlm communities for a long time, often before they even realized they were trans, and some may be reluctant to give up the word twink (I haven’t seen this for bear, although again, lmk if you’ve seen evidence to the contrary). And on top of that, a lot of cis men looking to have sex with trans women conflate trans women and cis twinks. Because remember what I said about twinks filling the niche of women? It’s often a niche they share with trans women, except trans women have it even worse, because they are actually women. My two cents is, if a trans woman wants to refer to herself as a twink, she’s more than welcome to. Just don’t go around calling trans women “twinks” unless they specifically say you can; it’s a gendered term, you are misgendering them, and, once again, you can fuck right off. (trans women also please comment if you want!)

Well, anon, I bet you weren’t expecting a post this long. At least I hope y’all learned something! Be gay do crimes!

[sugar-salt-n-spice]

newsies as things i’ve said for heard pt. 7

so this is a long one kings, because honestly, most of these are from a party and a movie night thing i went to last week. my friends are funny okay

——

pulitzer - YIPPIE KAYAI MOTHERTRUCKER

~~~

newsies - *all talking over each other*

elmer - several people are typing

~~~

race - FUCK YOU SPOT THE BIG TIRE DOES EXIST

~~~

spot - im gonna kill you

albert - *shrugs*

spot - im gonna cut your hair

albert - NO

~~~

ike - i know kombucha is vinegary but is it usually this much?

buttons - *takes a sip* king im 90% sure this is just straight vinegar

~~~

henry - don’t you dare put ketchup on that

race - *makes direct eye contact and covers mac and cheese in ketchup*

henry - *unholy screaming*

~~~

race - god doesn’t love me

jojo - well not with that attitude

race - dude i’m gay

~~~

sarah - get down from the rafters!!

crutchie - oh my god how did he get up on the rafters

~~~

jack - this is a house party. stop cleaning my kitchen

~~~

jack - this tastes like ass

specs - yeah, it’s beer

elmer - how do you know what ass tastes like?

jack - *takes another drink* you know? i lied, ass tastes better than this

elmer - the fact that you’re ignoring my question is a little unsettling

~~~

race - how do you drink from a glass bottle?

albert - well first of all, you don’t shove your entire mouth around it like that. what the hell

~~~

*spot and crutchie walk into the party*

race, standing on the back of the couch - WELCOME TO HELL BOYS

spot - *turns around and walks back to his car*

crutchie - now look what you did

~~~

davey - you can have the last peanut

jack - no it’s okay you can have it

davey - i had one the other day it’s fine!

race - y’all are wild just eat the nut

~~~

smalls - tell medda i need a man

jack - medda, smalls wants a man

medda - i can set her up

~~~

jack - is there a twink for lesbians?

jojo - femme?

sarah, a femme - no

mike - well now we all know who the top is in that relationship

katherine, also a femme - how dare you call me a bottom

~~~

jack - why are you acting like this?

medda - i’m just having fun

medda - ... also i’m kinda zinged on caffeine right now

~~~

mush - i can’t tell if i’m looking at a condom ad or an ad for bulletproof glass?

blink - in the end, aren’t they one in the same?

crutchie - ...no?

~~~

race, visibly stressed - where’s my boy?

davey - les?

race - yes!

sarah - in bed

race - FUCK

~~~

les - *walks past*

tommy boy - OH MY GOD IS THAT A GREMLIN!

sarah - that’s my brother?

~~~

smalls - i feel witchcraft in this panara tonight

~~~

specs - you slept through all of finding nemo, why are you so invested now?

romeo - BECAUSE DORY IS MY MAIN BITCH

~~~

crutchie - why are you in the kitchen?

jack - because i live here too?

crutchie - that doesn’t explain why you’re in the kitchen at one in the morning

~~~

albert - what are you listening to?

finch - heavy metal bagpipes

~~~

jack - what do the bee movie guys call their dicks

race - bedicks?

albert - SHOW ME THAT BEDICK DADDY

davey - okay bonding time is over! time to go home everybody!

~~~

les - i’m very good at convincing. okay here i go. please?

medda - ...you’ve convinced me

sarah - what

les - heck yeah!