#all those people either stayed with me throughout the drawing time or supported/gave me tips on how to draw parts of it

[moofah-chan]

Bubble boy, bubble boy!

[transkholins]

hey uh, throwback to 2019 when i made a rand fanmix. posting it because it can't hurt, but note that the track descriptions and song choices are all unedited.

. BLACKOUT — frank turner

but it’s not enough anymore

we can’t turn just around and close the door on the world

it’s asking uneasy questions

this one’s for winternight and the eye of the world. it’s the start of the world going to hell and being overwhelmed by the shadow (“are you afraid of the darkness?”), and it’s essentially rand against the world. he can’t just walk away from it— his house is attacked by trollocs, and the only option he has is to go with moiraine. he doesn’t really know what he’s up against, only that he’s up against something bad.

. HERO — family of the year

let me go

I don’t wanna be your hero

I don’t wanna be a big man

I just wanna fight with everyone else

this song’s all about not wanting to be a part of something big, just wanting a simple and easy life. at the beginning of the great hunt, rand really does not want to be the dragon reborn— I mean, who would? but it’s a role that he’s forced into, nonetheless. at his heart, he’s just a farmboy who wants to go home. moiraine kind of forces his destiny on him, not letting him postpone it or shove it aside. but at this point, he just doesn’t want to be a hero. the song itself is very soft (and acoustic to boot), which I think nicely represents the simple life that rand wants.

. UNUSUAL — typhoon

get your pitchforks out

the crowd is coming and they’ve named you

why, gentle mother, must you wring your hands and weep?

tide brings you a sword, sword will cut you free

dead demands a tribute in the hour of our need

blood be the river to wash the ledgers clean

oh, it took so much self-restraint to not put more than two songs from this album on this playlist. offerings is just so good AND highly existential, so if you’re wanting more sad rand hours, go listen to it. I think this song best fits rand’s start of really being the dragon reborn, around (you guessed it) the dragon reborn. the world is kind of a mess, and he doesn’t really know what to do, so he just does what he thinks he should do. he’s chosen by the pattern— the world demanded a dragon to save the world, and he was the unlucky soul born on the slopes of dragonmount. you know, his blood on the rocks of shayol ghul and all that. this song, like the one preceding it, is softer— rand hasn’t hardened himself like he will in later books. however, around halfway through, it gets louder and brings in more drums. tdr is the start of rand’s transition from farmboy to dragon reborn, in both good ways and bad.

. KIDS — mgmt

we like to watch you laughing

picking insects off of plants

no time to think of consequences

this song focuses a lot on the idea of self-control/self-restraint— not doing more than you have to, good or bad. it reminds me a lot of rand’s earlier experiences with channeling and being ta’veren. saidin is dangerous, what with the taint and all, and drawing too much of either half of the one power has severe consequences. he’s not as in control of his ta’veren-ness as he will be in later books— like his channelling, it’s a bit all over the place. the quote at the beginning of the music video (it’s friedrich nietzsche, not mark twain, but whatever) also ties in with this idea— if you’re not careful, you can become the very thing you were fighting against.

. LOUDER THAN EVER — cold war kids

I was carrying my cheek

I was digging my strange

I was taking you for granted

you were holding the reins

but I can hear you louder than ever

whisper to me, help me remember

I can’t see you but we’re still together

I can hear you louder than ever

moiraine’s “death” is a tipping point for rand— he feels like he could’ve prevented it, even though moiraine literally tells him that he couldn’t, and that what happened was the best possible outcome. after she passes through the portal, rand realizes that he took her presence for granted. her advice was good, if often unwelcome, and after her death rand just ends up going off the rails in so many different ways. when she returns in a memory of light, he realizes how helpful she was to him.

. SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT WITH ME — cold war kids

something is not right with me!

something is not right with me!

something is not right with me!

I’m trying not to let it show

the taint on saidin is just really like that, huh? rand can tell that something’s wrong, with lews therin’s voice in his head. the thing is, he doesn’t let anyone know because he’s 1) scared of showing weakness and 2) sane people don’t normally hear voices. this song is fast, but not in an upbeat way— it feels chaotic, panicked, and just barely in control. the singer is almost shouting the lyrics instead of singing them, contributing to that feeling. I think it embodies most male channellers’ experiences with the taint— it isn’t smooth or calm like saidar, it’s a raging river of fire.

. DREAMS OF CANNIBALISM — typhoon

unhand me, I am not a criminal

but I’ve played a guilty part

in the modern sense that one pretends their life is original

I wrote a book and I will call it something cynical

the story’s slow, the hero does not change

and if he can, then he won’t anyway

instead his foes and lovers all become identical

this song ends with the line “soon enough you will be dancing at my funeral,” and I can’t come up with something that encompasses rand-as-the-dragon more. people are terrified of him— hell, even he’s terrified of him. the world doesn’t want a dragon, but they got one anyways. the second set of verses above is a more textual examination of rand at this point— a crown of swords through crossroads of twilight is incredibly slow, and rand doesn’t change much throughout those books (hence why this song covers 4 books). he could make a change in his life if he tried, but he doesn’t, since he thinks he needs to shut others out to protect them. the whole song seems to be conveying the idea of being stuck and not going anywhere, but running from yourself, which, to be fair, is very close to what rand experiences in his own head in these books.

. GHOSTS THAT WE KNEW — mumford and sons

so lead me back

turn south from that place

and close my eyes to my recent disgrace

so give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light

’cause oh, that gave me such a fright

but I will hold on as long as you like

just promise me we’ll be alright

I picked a soft song for the softer scene in the gathering storm where min and rand are talking about how cold he’s become. he realizes that he doesn’t have to fake an uncaring and unemotional nature— to be human is to feel, and it’s not bad to be human. the song is about going through something that’s wearing you down (a common interpretation is depression), and knowing that you have someone helping you through it. min sticks with rand during almost everything that happens from lord of chaos to the end of the series. she’s a support for him, and too stubborn to ever leave him, no matter what.

. DARKER — typhoon

I tried, you know, just to toe the line

love all the neighbors and live in the light

sure, I stumbled sometimes

self-contained; a convenient lie

every source of pain, every sting of pride

had to come from the outside

you won’t even fight me fair

wait for the darkness, catch me unaware

yeah, you pull me close

then you twist the knife

of course, that happy, warm feeling can’t last, because that scene is followed by semirhage being sadistic and deciding that now is the perfect time to use this new torture device. because of that, rand ends up shutting himself off even more than before. he’s suspicious and cruel, and thinks only for himself. it’s scary, frankly. darker, like all the songs on the album that it’s from, is very existential, though this song is, fittingly, darker than the others. it’s filled with the sense of impending death and strong suspicion that characterizes rand at this point in his life. he tried to open up, and look where it got him. this quick change is mirrored by the sharp musical contrast between the quiet, acoustic ‘ghosts that we knew’ and and the more drum-heavy, electric, and distorted ‘darker.’

. MOUNTAIN AT MY GATES — foals

I see a mountain in my way

it’s looming larger by the day

I see a darkness in my fate

I’ll drive my car without the brakes

through lanes and stone rows

black granite, wind blows

fire lake and far flame

go now but come again

dark clouds gather ’round

will I run or stand my ground

oh, when I come to climb

show me the mountain so far behind

yeah, it’s farther away

its shadow gets smaller day after day

the obvious scene for this song is the events leading up to rand’s epiphany on dragonmount. I mean, ‘mountain’ is in the song’s name. I think that this song works well to represent the weight and lack of direction he feels in the days building up to that. something that works especially well about this song is how it builds, both lyrically and musically. the song starts with a hopeless and dark tone to the lyrics, and stays that way for a while. the bridge (second set of lyrics above) is where the tone starts to change. the bridge also uses a lot of imagery that one can tie to the buildup— the streets of ebou dar, the rocky and windy peak of dragonmount, the belly of fire in the mountain itself and tar valon, the city that the peak looks over. the song then crescendos into its final segment, where the singer sings “give me my way/give me my love/give me my choice/give me my fate/give me my lungs/give me my voice.” to me, these represent rand’s realization that the reason the wheel keeps turning is so that people can live again and love again.

. COLORFUL — jukebox the ghost

we're just getting started

take your fears and let them go

for the lovers and the broken-hearted

I! love! this! song! I haven’t found another song that captures that feeling of hope in darkness: when everything around you has gone to hell, but you keep going because the darkness isn’t all there is. that’s how veins of gold ends— with rand realizing that there’s something worth fighting and living for. the gathering storm literally ends with rand laughing without bitterness for the first time in months, if not years— he’s finally looking on the bright side of life again.

. BEAUTIFUL LIFE — the collection

you do not have to be good

even the best of us have been misunderstood

so get up onto your feet

the sun is shining repentance through the leaves

its rays will wash you clean

this one’s for the end of a memory of light, when rand decides to leave and live the rest of his life on his terms. he wants to explore the world, without the pressure of his past and who he was weighing on him. he has a chance to slow down and appreciate this “beautiful life,” instead of rushing through it towards tarmon gai’don. and that’s what this song is about, i think. it’s not super peppy, and neither is rand at this point. it’s more of a quiet and peaceful acceptance.

. ALL THESE THINGS THAT I’VE DONE — the killers

I wanna stand up, I wanna let go

you know, you know, no, you don’t, you don’t

I wanna shine on in the hearts of men

I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

over and in, last call for sin

while everyone’s lost, the battle is won

with all these things that I’ve done

first of all, the wheel of time series takes place over the span of two years, and rand does so much within that time. within this playlist, I don’t think of this song as an ending, rather a summary of rand’s life through the books. I specifically want to talk about the iconic refrain of “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier.” it serves as a bookend to rand’s arc as a character— initially he refuses his role as the dragon reborn (even though he’s suited for it, due to his heritage and upbringing) because he doesn’t want to fight in that way. during the bulk of the series, he embraces a role as a fighter, even though he doesn’t have the soul for it. and finally, he realizes that he isn’t a weapon, and that he never was. on another note, the line “these changes ain’t changing me/that cold-hearted boy I used to be” hits a bit too close to his character.

[legolaslovely]

Well Loved Hands

A/N: This was originally written for Fikiweek2020, Idiosyncrasy day, but it strayed too far from this prompt, and I didn’t feel comfortable adding this story to that day/idea. So **please read the warnings** and have some Kíli comforting Fíli. Thank you @dreams-of-wander for beta-ing (Is that what it’s called?) this for me and helping me keep it safe for readers. 

Pairing: Fiki

Rated Mature

**Warnings: self-harm- nail biting (not gratuitous), injury, light gore if that’s a thing, smut, comfort, Post Quest of Erebor, everyone lives, nobody dies!

Summary: Fíli had all the ‘good kinds’ of flaws. "Too kind, too trusting, too generous for his own good." However, they all boiled down to one unhealthy and rather harmful habit. But Kíli never judged, only soothed.

ûrzudel: sun of suns 

When those around him looked at Fíli, it was always with a smile and sparkling eyes of pure admiration. The mothers of Erebor would speak of his enormous heart and how they wished he would take their daughter for his wife. The fathers would puff out their chests and say with absolute certainty that Fíli would be a great king for Erebor. The children would play make believe and fight over who got to play Prince Fíli with his swords and daggers that sliced open fierce orcs in battle. If any dwarf dared to ask about the heir’s flaws, he would be booted out of Erebor faster than he could say, “Gandalf is a troublemaker.”

Those who knew Fíli better, such as those in Thorin’s Company, would roll their eyes at Erebor’s blind and undying love for the young prince. But all the while, they’d never say a bad word about Thorin’s nephew, because Fíli truly was worthy of the adoration he attracted. 

“That lad only has those good kinds of flaws,” Dwalin said.

“He’s too kind-”

“Too trusting-”

“Too generous for his own good!”

Like the humble dwarf he was, Fíli shooed these ‘compliments’ away, ears flaming at the joking insults that were more like glowing praise. 

Kíli took his hand under the table and ran his thumb over the back of Fíli’s fingers. Though Fíli sent a squeeze in return and tilted his head in Kíli’s direction, he wouldn’t look at his little brother. Right now, Fíli was embarrassed, and not just because of the praise from their friends. Little pin pricks of shame poked Fíli’s already scarlet cheeks because he knew I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help it.

Kíli scooted closer, ignoring the rolling of his gut, and wished the two of them were alone so he could kiss Fíli well enough and hold him tight enough to make him believe that everything was okay. 

***

Fíli did have all the ‘good kinds’ of flaws. But they all boiled down to one unhealthy and rather harmful habit. He bit his nails. And not in a cute or charming way that someone could ignore or fall in love with. Fíli chewed and pulled and picked at his nails until his finger tips bled. If he was anxious during meetings, stressed throughout the night, or nervous at the dinner table, he was sure to be hiding his hands from curious, condemning eyes. 

But Kíli never judged. Only soothed.

That night he massaged cream into Fíli’s skin, holding back a wince, a gasp, a tsk, as Fíli let out a hiss of pain. 

“I didn’t know I was doing it.”

“I know,” Kíli said.

“I thought I was doing better.”

Kíli dipped another clean, healthy finger in the cool, smooth ointment and rubbed it into Fíli’s short, sharp nails and screaming red skin. 

“You are.”

Kíli couldn’t help but wonder about his brother’s habit. Was this something unique to Fíli, or did this happen to other dwarves? Perhaps humans or hobbits? Kíli had suggested going to a medic again, asking more questions, but the one visit for the cream was enough for Fíli. I can fix this myself, he’d said.

So Kíli kept his secret and helped him heal, though his goal was to stop his brother from harming himself this way. From lashing out against the label of The Golden Prince. And Kíli had his ways.

***

Being the nephew of the king meant Kíli too had to be present at most meetings involving the dwarven realms, though he’d rather be anywhere else. Spending his time working in the forge, training with the army, or even exhausting himself in the dwarfling nurseries seemed much better options than sitting, trapped in the throne or council rooms from dawn to dusk. These preferences were well known by all involved and one would think he’d run from his responsibilities at record-breaking speeds if given the chance. Some conversations, after all, were not for every ear in the council. 

However, his escape meant leaving Fíli alone for an untold number of hours in an unbearably stressful environment. 

So Kíli would stay. He’d wriggle his way to the head of the table, between his uncle and his brother because he wanted to learn, he wanted to be a part of what made the council great. He wanted to be right there if his brother needed him.

Though for most of the day, Fíli didn’t need him. He sat with both hands glued to either arm of his chair, calmly listening to various problems and solutions to the kingdom’s needs. Thorin asked for his opinion on multiple occasions and Fíli was brilliant. He’d learned much from his studies and apprenticing, but he also had intuition that a realm could trust with their lives. Kíli was proud.

Kíli was still proud when Thorin and his brother disagreed. 

“You think that would be a good move for our people?” Thorin yelled across the table, ignoring the awkward fidgeting of the other guests sitting around it. “Have you completely forgotten…”

Kíli stopped listening to his uncle’s growling. Instead, he watched Fíli. Though he didn’t shrink from the harsh words or the harsher voice, his hands did slide into his lap from the arms of the chair. Kíli could just hear his nails clicking over Thorin’s unjust shrieking.

Secretly and sneakily, without drawing the gaze of any of the distracted council members, Kíli ran his fingers down Fíli’s forearm and pulled his hands apart before Fíli could inflict any more damage to his already torn up skin. He held Fíli tight and felt him breathe deeply, as if his head had been yanked above an unforgiving riptide. 

“Uncle,” Fíli interrupted. “I know our kingdom’s history. But I have also done the research and our land has changed since we last ruled it. I am confident that…”

Kíli loosened his grasp, sure that Fíli could handle the rest of the conversation alone, but Fíli held on. He kept their hands comfortably in between them, lacing their fingers together - a small embrace that remained there for the rest of the meeting.

***

Kíli couldn’t always be by Fíli’s side. He had his own duties, his own life, and there were often full days the brothers spent apart. Most of the time, Fíli would catch him stealing a late dinner from the kitchens long after its doors had been closed to servants and others in the mountain. They’d talk over their days and stuff themselves full (to the prep cooks’ morning despair) and somehow find the strength to amble back to their chambers.

Some nights were different. Occasionally, Kíli would slowly turn the knob on their door and curse the loud creak of the hinges as he opened it, hoping such an argument wouldn’t wake his sleeping brother. But as the door slid ajar, candlelight flooded the corridor. Fíli was still awake, drenching his hands in the healing cream the medic had told him not to administer by himself. 

But Kíli wouldn’t admonish, not now. He sat on the bed and took the jar away from Fíli, seamlessly replacing the broken fingers with his own.

“I can do it,” Fíli said.

“I know.”

Without another word, one brother took care of the other. Kíli massaged until the cream had soaked into the skin and disappeared, but even with his tender touch and calming presence, Fíli still sat on the bed like stone. Too proud to be disgraced, too strong to crumble, too old to need his little brother.

Kíli lifted Fíli’s hand and kissed the back of it. His kisses traveled down the wide hand, lingering over stubby, well loved fingers, gracing harsh, abused tips and nails. One kiss was granted to the palm before Kíli lifted the other hand, giving it the same treatment until Fíli let the callused inside caress Kíli’s equally rough cheek.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Not for his pride or his distance, but for failing. Again.

Kíli replaced the lid on the jar and cast it away on the side table before wrapping his arms around Fíli’s shoulders and pulling him down to settle together on the bed. Tonight, Kíli took control of the kiss, converting it from one of apologies and promises to do better into one of acceptance and support and adoration.

He gave caresses of commitment over Fíli’s shoulders and up his bare back under his tunic. Smooth fingertips fondly followed thick curls of soft, golden fur over a heaving chest, down a flat belly and into loose trousers, while hips ground and thrust together - lacking discipline, but coursing with thirst.

Fíli hid his face in Kíli’s neck when Kíli found his erection, throbbing with arousal and defying the ugly burdens of the day. He huffed a curse as a talented thumb circled his head, digging his nose into his lover’s pulse.

“Please, Kíli, I need-”

“I know, ûrzudel.”

With every pull, Kíli pledged it - “I’ve got you, I’ll take care of you, I love you.” He felt Fíli’s tears slip from the corners of his eyes and down his skin - tears of desire, of frustration and desperation, of stress and release, of love and gratefulness for his brother. 

***

Fíli had to be protected and taken care of, yes, but he was not to be coddled. Kíli learned this very early on when he was so scared and so concerned, that he was much too patronizing. Then, Fíli’s bellowing had bounced off the walls of his chambers, and the jar of cream off the stone floor as Fíli threw it far away. There was nothing wrong with him and if there was, he could fix it himself. He didn’t need his baby brother babying him.

The secret, Kíli learned, was to keep his brother’s hands busy.

Kíli would ask him to re-braid his hair. Yes, Fíli had just done it and yes, it looked fine, but there’s something pulling right there and it would bother him all day if it wasn’t fixed. 

Or Kíli would plop on the bed, making it bounce so Fíli lost his page in the book he was reading. With a great, big apologetic smile, he would wriggle between Fíli’s legs and beg his older brother to rub his shoulders because it feels so good or he had a headache or he couldn’t quite reach that itchy spot by himself. Just like that, Fíli would stop reading his book about Ereborean wars and quit chewing on his already very short thumbnail. 

Kíli was clever with his courting gifts. Just because we’re brothers doesn’t mean we’re not courting, which means we ought to exchange courting gifts, right? Right. This led to Fíli walking into his chambers and seeing his desk covered with impeccably wrapped boxes and bow-tied bags. 

Stop staring at me and open it, earned Kíli a few balls of ribbon chucked his way. However, Fíli was soon too astonished to punish his brother any more for his disrespect. Piles of wrapping lay on the ground, but on the desk sat something perfectly combined - a perfect set.

Paints? Oil paints and watercolors and acrylics, along with parchments, books and canvases of all sizes, collections of brushes - anything he’d need. But Kíli’s favorite piece was a blending palette that would ensure this would become a two handed hobby. It was personalized with their initials etched into it and the craftsman assured him that no matter how much paint was glooped onto the ceramic tile, those marks would still be visible. 

Fíli stood, embarrassed and mystified. Then rambling. You went to a craftsman? These must have cost… you didn’t have to do this, having you is enough, but this will sure keep me busy, but you knew that… you knew that.

Fíli thanked him. The night went by with little sleep but no nail biting.

As did many of their future nights together as things got better. Kíli read aloud from Fíli’s books as his brother painted by the window. His artwork that was once shoved away and hidden in old servants’ quarters in the basement, was hung with care and pride on the walls of their chambers. Kíli’s hair was occasionally braided three times a day by a willing lover. The jar of medicated ointment gathered dust on the shelf in the washroom and Fíli learned that even a future king needs his little brother.

Tagging you friends! Thanks for reading! @dreams-of-wander @nerdbirdsworld @marigoldvance

[thedistantstorm]

Keep On Rising (Until The Sky Knows Your Name) 14

Found Family | Zavala is Tower Dad | Father-Daughter Relationship | Childhood Trauma and Recovery | Canon-Typical Violence | Amputation

A story about how an orphaned Amanda Holliday comes to belong in the Last Safe City and the family she finds along the way.

(Or, the story of how Commander Zavala finds himself responsible for one Amanda Holliday.)

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13

This time: Eva and Hideo and Holliday. A chain reaction.

-/

It doesn't take much to get the faction rep's attention. A few key words, some very pointed, hushed phrases.

"I know it is not a common occurrence," She tells the Speaker, who though she cannot see his face, she is sure he looks on with something akin to compassion and maybe amusement. He is a very intelligent man. Frighteningly so to most, but incredibly benevolent all the same. "But I cannot believe the orphanage would deny him without at least looking at his application. He might not be a member of the faction but I would think he does enough for them - and this City," She tuts. "I just feel so awful for him."

All of it is true, and yet she packages up that truth and tries to sell it like Tess does. The younger woman would be proud.

Hideo himself comes over. "Excuse me," He says politely enough, pressing his palms together like a prayer, "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. The Commander is trying to bring home a child?"

"I could not believe it either, dear," Eva gushes in her best impression of borderline senile. She isn't that old, she thinks with an internalized sigh, but it does the trick. "He told me he'd just gotten the application filled out and was going to tell her the good news, but they transferred her out of nowhere. The new facility won't listen to the old one, and you know how Zavala is. Wants to do everything the right way, even if it tears him up inside."

"That's horrible," Hideo agrees. "You said they denied him, though."

"Oh! I did," Eva agrees. The Speaker casually moves back to his observatory, his work done. "Did you know they require you to be a faction backer to adopt a handicapped child?"

"Well, I'm sure it's to make sure they have the financial well-being…"

"It's just so sad, Executor. This is Zavala we're talking about. The Commander always plays fair, and yet he's beating himself up inside because his position does not allow him to play favorites, even if he wanted to." She sighs, wistfully, watching as the man's hand came up to stroke his chin in consideration. "And the poor girl must be inconsolable. The bond between them is just… Those refugee children are so tough, and then this one…" See shakes her head.

"Let…" Hideo looks up to her, his dark eyes soft yet calculating. "Let me see what I can do. You said this child was handicapped? We support the most vulnerable members of our population. If this child is at one of New Monarchy's facilities, perhaps I can intervene."

Eva smiles a teary smile. "Oh, that would just be the most wonderful thing, dear." He calls over one of his men, who takes the information from her. After, she pats his hand, thanking him profusely for his kindness. 

"I'll see to this myself," He promises.

He returns to his nook, already issuing instructions. Eva hides her grin behind her hand, returning to her stall. For now, all she can do is wait. She can't imagine it will take very long for the Executor to set things to rights for his 'dear friend.'

-/

It takes the better part of a week. She knows because there are Consensus meetings that call away the majority of the Tower's top players, and when she checks in on Zavala, he still has that sad glimmer in his eye, but clearly others have started to notice.

Ikora is standing across from his desk, looking down at him with something Eva takes a moment to realize is concern. She retracts her hand from the doorframe, intending to return later, by nothing escapes Ikora's notice.

"Come in," The Warlock Vanguard says, not unkind and yet brisk om her delivery.

Eva knows better than to say no, and Zavala waves to an unoccupied chair in a non-verbal invitation of his own.

"Zavala informed me of the situation," Ikora tells her. "And that you've offered to assist."

"I have." She looks to Zavala. He looks older like this. "You need to take care of yourself. What if things happen quickly?"

"They won't."

"They might. This one put on quite a scene the other day." Ikora looks so sarcastic. Eva thinks it's a shame. She's such a beautiful woman, and so powerful too. Then, her eyes soften a touch. "My Hidden reported a rather interesting conversation, with the Speaker, no less."

Zavala looks to Ikora, but her gaze is trained on Eva's face. The youngest of them shrugs.

"Whatever was said," Ikora finally turns to Zavala, amusement lighting her golden eyes, "It certainly motivated the Executor. He was watching you throughout our meetings, and was clearly working on something besides that plasteel contract, considering he didn't even try to block the infrastructure proposal."

"Eva." His intense stare is intimidating, but Eva will have none of it.

"You underestimate my concern for you, my friend." She smiles warmly at Zavala's look of tired exasperation. "What was I supposed to do, let you mope for the next few months? The poor girl wouldn't hold out that long. Besides, all I did was give him some information. I didn't force him to do anything. For all I know, he hasn't." 

"That's very shrewd of you," Ikora says levelly. "That explains why Tess is afraid to buy you out."

Eva shrugs. From the Warlock, she suspects that's a compliment. "Thank you."

Turning back to Zavala, Ikora tilts her head to the side. "I can't imagine this not going in your favor. Even if I don't think it's the best of ideas."

"I think you might be surprised, Ikora," Eva chimes.

"The Speaker certainly isn't against it," She supposes aloud. "And you are miserable, so there's no doubt you're attached." She gives him a smirk that seems like more of a sad smile, the longer it stays on her face. "And above all, you are my teammate. My friend," She revises. The emotion seems to make her uncomfortable, Eva thinks. "I'll talk to Hideo myself, if need be."

"I can't imagine that ending well," Zavala deadpans. Ikora's lips curl into a predatory smile. The severity of Zavala's gaze lessens. "But I do appreciate the sentiment."

-/

A man comes to see her. He is wearing a color red just a little bit darker than her blanket, she can see it out of the corner of her eye. He didn't look like a doctor, but Amanda doen't trust anyone these days. The last time she answered questions for a doctor he'd told these people to come get her.

"You're Amanda, yes?" He pauses. "Amanda Holliday?"

She blinks to him listlessly and then turns her head back to the window.

The man sighs. She hears the sound of footsteps, the annoyed huff of the new matron, her sworn enemy. "She's been like this since we brought her in. The only thing we've gotten out of her is that she wants to go back to her old orphanage."

He tilts his head toward the matron, asking quietly, "The one just outside the Rich District, right?"

"Yes," The matron answers, not that Amanda would have spoke to him anyway.

Silently, she pulls her blanket up and around her like armor, still refusing to make eye contact.

The man steps a little closer. He can see the bulge of her stump, the small, swollen limb wrapped beneath the blanket.  "Did he make that for you?"

 Her fingers curl through the stitches, wary, but she tips her head, listening.

"For the Dawning last year, he gave me a scarf that’s nearly the same color. It's warm and cozy, much like that blanket."

She looks at him, then. Her eyes are dull, it's clear she thinks this is some game, because she all but looks right through him before looking back toward the window.

"I've known Commander Zavala for a long time," He continues. "We work together on many things. I heard from another friend of ours that he is very worried about you."

That certainly draws a reaction. She gasps as though she's come up for air, her seaglass eyes glossy with unshed tears, but focused. "H-" She clears her throat. "He is?"

"What? Executor-"

The child's stare narrows angrily on the matron for her intrusion. He can feel the force of her tiny wrath.

"Leave us," He says to the matron, who sputters but complies.

The man pulls up a chair to her bedside. She scooches back, clearly unsure of the newcomer, regardless of who he claims to know, pulling her blanket up to her chin. "Can he come visit me? I-if he'd wanna?" She looks at him in concern, balling her fists to keep them from shaking.

"Did he come visit you often, before?" The man's eyes are not unkind. It's clear, if nothing else, he feels sympathy for her.

"He sat with me at night,' She murmurs, sniffling.

"I see." The man crosses his right leg over his left, slouching comfortably. "I don't think he knew you were moved," He tells her. It's a safer line of explanation than the truth, considering what the matron had told him when he arrived about her meltdown. "I'm going to see him shortly, and I'll make sure he knows he can come to see you any time he wishes."

She doesn't answer him, hugging the blanket to her tightly. Her closed off posture and behavior are not going to wavier, he can tell. Thus, he does not linger, rising without another word.

When he gets to the doorway, she drawls after him, "Ya promise?" 

Hideo turns back. "Absolutely."

[belost-the-watcher]

Infestation

An orange haze settled throughout the halls of the derelict ship. The airlock groaned and struggled against jammed machinery, finally giving up and sticking half-open. Muffled voices from behind swore and chattered to one another briefly before a metal bar slid through the gap and wrenched the airlock open with a loud grunt. Rust burst out from the seams and joints and a handful of galra stepped through.

Two of them wore heavy armor and were more equipment than person. Known commonly as Raiders. The third was much more lightly geared. A tracker on loan from the Empire's army. All wore gas masks strapped around their heads.

"Alright. Well that's the hard part done," the lead said flatly and stuck the bar to a magnetic mount on his backpack. "Your turn, Windor."

Belost squeezed his way passed the armored giants. The hallways were tight and the two raiders could barely stand side by side without scraping the dust from the walls. He took the lead and knelt to the floor, swiping a finger across the paneling. "Rust. Dust. Motes. We'll probably start seeing eggs soon. Either this ship is smaller on the inside or its more infested than we thought," he forced his words out to be heard through his mask.

"So there's a few more crawlers. So?" A voice from the back spoke up, shotgun strung across his shoulders. The name Noht scratched into his armor.

"So it means there's hardly any ship left that's worth salvaging."

Their commander spoke up again, "We're not here for the ship. Command's looking for a manifest from the ship's old captain. Records for who he sold to and more importantly where he got his supplies from." He hefted a large metal cylinder in one hand, "This is just to make our job shorter. Gas the place, get out, let the tech support come in and do the rest."

Belost stood. With as small as the hallways were, it was still mind boggling how a smuggler could afford a ship this size. It was nothing compared to the Empire's fleet ships, but it was still nearly the size of a light carrier. And those didn't come cheap even to the Navy.

The tracker started off and their commander, Stros, waved on the back to follow along.

____________

"I meant to ask, why not send the entire squad in? Instead of just you two," Belost asked over his shoulder as they moved through. Breaking the silence of his own footsteps was hardly an issue with the clunking raiders behind him.

"With as narrow as these hallways are, what'd be the point?" Noht said from the back.

"I guess so," Belost answered. He was no stranger to being outnumbered and raiders were originally trained as boarding parties. But infestations made him uneasy. Especially on ships where there was usually only one way out. It was new territory for him, he'd only been through one infestation before. But apparently that made him enough of an expert to be brought along. He'd have to remember to thank Sendak later.

Belost slowed to a stop after a few minutes when he noticed rocky looking scales fused to the wall. They resembled the shells some seafood was still served in. He took the lip of one between two fingers and gave it a light twist. The hard tip snapped off then crumbled between his fingers.

"These things are dried out. A lot of matured crawlers. Let's hope the nest is far away from the circulation room. They'll be in hybernation, assuming there wasn't a few years' worth of food on board, but I doubt even they'd be able to sleep through two tanks walking passed them."

"We'll play it by ear, then," Stros replied.

____________

The three walked in relative silence for a few mintues, Belost checking the occasional biological sign along the way. Stros kept an eye on what crude blueprints they could manage for the ship and mapped out their path on his datapad. Noht, who towered over Belost, watched the hallways and junctions over the tracker's head, shotgun ready. A heavy belt ran from his weapon and to a large cannister on his back. An iconic weapon of the raiders.

"So what's up with all the rust?" Noht asked. "This ship was still active two years ago. It can't have gotten into this bad of shape on its own."

"The eggs eat through the coating on the metal and leech chemicals from it. It makes the eggs strong but the metal brittle. Oxidizes it given enough time and enough eggs. Coincidentally, the shit it puts in the air too? Really bad for your lungs," Belost answered. Despite hardly being an expert, he did at least read up on the creatures inside the ship before deployment. "It's why these things are prohibited from transport. They'll wreck a ship in just a few months. Sometimes not even that long. Then you end up with floating hives like this, they get pulled into orbit, some eggs make it out planetside and then it's Tharaon IV all over again. No more machinery, a lot of dead people and pretty much no more planet."

"Banning these things from transport didn't really stop them from making it here, did it?"

"Idiots will smuggle anything as long as the money's good enough," Stros commented.

"But if there's this many eggs, how haven't we seen any yet?" Noht asked.

"They're hybernating. Chances are that if we see one, we'll see all of them. And there's not actually one for every egg. They hatch in a swarm, but these things get cannibalistic when they're in a low food environment. At least up until a certain point. They won't eat another crawler the same size as them, just the smaller ones. Then when they run out of food they stop breeding and hybernate for a while. It's good for us since all of them are probably asleep. But if they wake up..."

Noht began to ask a follow up before Stros cut him off, "Ventilation should be this next turn up ahead. Get ready." He holstered his datapad and drew his submachine gun from a sling on his chest.

Belost saw the hallway diverge into a turn.

____________

"Fuck!" Belost could have spit were it not for the mask. Stros stopped arming the bomb and looked to him.

"What do you see?" Noht asked, hands laced together and holding Belost's boot steady.

"The intake is loaded with eggs and the fan's been rusted through," he said as he dropped back down to the floor.

"A ship like this won't have a secondary ventilation room, either," Stros said mostly to himself.

"So what's there to do now?" Noht asked, shaking his hands out where the treads had dug into his fingers.

"If we can't gas the place out then we'll just need to get the manifest ourselves. My first guess would be to look in the captain's quarters. I doubt he would keep it stored in the ship's intranet."

Belost pat the orange dust from his hands, "Great. Do we know where that is?"

"Not too far. We'll need to backtrack a bit and head in the opposite direction of here."

"Opposite direction, huh? We haven't seen a crawler yet and now we need to go in the opposite direction? You know what that probably means, right?"

Stros hoisted the bomb back into his hand. "That's why I'm keeping this on me."

____________

Heavy breathing surrounded Belost on all sides. If the manifest was not in the Captain's Quarters, he was going to kill Stros himself. 'Like you said, we would just wake them up,' their charismatic leader had told him right before suggesting Belost walk into the veritable horde of sleeping crawlers alone. Even Noht looked uncertain about the plan. Maybe the raider simply disliked having to stay back and let somebody else do all the work. Or maybe sending somebody into a nest of sleeping monsters just did not sit well with him.

The tracker twisted his ankle awkwardly to avoid stepping on a bundle of dark spines sticking from one crawler's back. The creatures themselves looked like what Earth dwellers might know as tailess whip scorpions. Something that had no business being the size of a cow. Their legs were spindly and barbed with thick claws anchored in front of clacking maws.

One infestation had been plenty for Belost. And his experience then had been unfortunately similar to his current. But at least then he had been on a planet. Somewhere with any number of places to run or hide.

A thick limb brushed the back of his calf and he spun, hand already half-drawing The Bell before he found the creature to have only twitched in its sleep.

Some were piled on top of one another, their legs curled up to fit in the tight hallways. Belost could not be sure but he would bet there were some even in the ship's ventilation above him. Who knew where else they could squeeze into?

He came to the door he was looking for, one labeled CQ in bold. He pressed the button beside it which lit up. The mechanism of the door ground audibly, making a wide-eyed Belost check all around him for signs of stirring, and the light faded offline. A one way mirror was beside the door. If only he could have looked through it somehow, see if there was anything even worthwhile inside. He sucked in a deep breath through the filter of his mask and gripped the handle of the door. The galra flexed and pushed, trying to slide it into the wall panel as quietly as he could. Eventually there came a thud and the door slide aside.

More of the orange dust, a mixture of rust and molting residue, flowed out from the now open doorway. Chunks of one of the crawlers lay strewn about the room and the shredded belongings of the captain's quarters were among them. Belost lift a datapad from the ground, the display cracked and sprayed with old blood. It was crushed beyond salvaging, but maybe the datachip inside was still good.

He checked the port, it was empty.

Belost set the datapad down and walked to the terminal on top of the captain's work bench. He stepped around and checked the console. Somehow it was still running. He wiped the orange dust from its display and looked through the system. Eventually, he came across a series of files which detailed various transfers. Names, dates, amounts, product. Everything they needed. And no way to transfer it. Of course. Why would a smuggler want to let anybody get a copy of something like this?

Belost looked around. No ports for datachips or linking devices. Just a display and the casing beside it. The data drive had to be in it. He looked to the terminal and powered it down.

Then silence was shattered by a cheery sounding chime blaring from the terminal's speakers.

This time there was no need to check. Belost heard them stirring immediately. He dug his claws into the tower of the terminal and ripped the brittle side panel off. The fans had just stopped spinning by the time he yanked the data drive from its port.

Heavy footfalls scuttled to the doorway and a crawler stood near eye-level, watching him for only a moment, chattering wildly and scuttered inside. He heard others outside, a domino effect of waking. Belost shuffled around the table, fingers clinging tight to the drive while the other drew The Bell. He pointed it at the crawler that scurted over the table, then to the second that had already taken its place in the doorway, and then to the window.

What few weren't awake already were jostled out of sleep by the gunfire.

Belost leaped through the window and fired another shot into the gathering crowd of clicking and chirping creatures. The explosive payload of The Bell shattered one into chunks of gorey shell. The clicking turned to hissing.

He ran through the halls, retracing his careful steps, firing into whatever crowds might block his way, not daring to look behind him. The distant sound of Noht's shotgun pounded rhythmically. Even in his outright panick, Belost noticed the lack of Stros' weapon in the commotion.

He fired again, scattering a crowd only briefly, but just enough for him to make it through. Dull fire rushed up his thigh. A familiar enough pain to know something somewhere had got a claw half-around his leg at some point.

Belost came across another blocked hallway and rose The Bell. Instead of the crack and kick of recoil, however, it was only a click. He tucked the data drive under his arm and broke the weapon open, an empty cylinder ejecting with its distinct ping. A crawler scuttled towards him and he could feel more near his back.

Then the ones before him exploded in a shower of shot. Noht covered in blackened gore rounded the corner, "Get down!"

Belost dropped, hearing the whoosh of a claw just overhead, and then suddenly the world around him vanished beyond the rumbling explosive roar of the raider's shotgun.

Something heavy rammed into the ground beside Belost and he was enveloped in grey smoke. It stung his eyes and he scrambled forward in the lull of gunfire and a hand grabbed his arm and hoisted him behind Noht. Practice took over and once he stood, Belost reloaded The Bell and took the drive in his hand once again.

Stros was pulling him back through the hallways, Noht following closely behind. Belost noticed the bomb missing from the commander.

____________

The floor shook beneath Belost's feet, his bandaged thigh pulsing painfully. The ship lit up in a bright, purple ball of plasma as it took the entire flagship's broadside. He let himself enjoy what he could. It was going to be an hour or two in quarantine after all that.

Stros was fast tracked through, the data drive's delivery too important to keep waiting for longer than necessary.

Noht and Belost, however, would have to wait for the full package. He just hoped they wouldn't burn his clothes.

[elizehurley-blog]

34 tips to improve efficiency and performance

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34 tips to improve efficiency and performance

34 tips to improve efficiency and performance

Do you dream to Wake up every day filled with energy, positive attitude to the work ahead, with full confidence that you can do everything?And after lunch instead of the usual fatigue to feel a surge of fresh energy?And at the end of the working day to be still emotionally filled to communicate with family and friends? So the question “How to improve efficiency and efficiency” is relevant for you.

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Today I will share with you effective methods that have helped me to turn from a person with eternally low pressure and lack of stable quality energy into someone who gets up at 4 am with pleasure. At the same time, during the day, instead of the typical decline for all people, I experience an energy rise. That is, throughout the day I experience increased efficiency.When I follow all these tips (and it’s really possible!), I live with full dedication, and the day ends with a feeling of deep satisfaction and confidence in the fact that I lived it to the max.Thinking about how to improve efficiency, we constantly draw energy from different sources: food, people, books, movies. But often we take it “on credit” (coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, fast food), and after a while we pay with our physical and mental health. And you can develop healthy habits that due to the correct way of life in the present will give us energy and increased efficiency, without stealing it all from the future.For example, a Breakfast of fruits, nuts, organic cottage cheese increases mental and physical performance, and also gives you the same burst of energy as a sandwich with coffee, but in the second case, after a few hours of fatigue and apathy, the increased efficiency is not necessary to speak.. Caffeine first gives energy, then followed by a decline and deterioration. Proper food not only gives energy immediately after its use, but also supports increased efficiency throughout the day. This happens with many other factors that affect the quality of our lives.So let’s move directly to the methods that will help you become more energetic and more effective person.

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  34 tips to improve efficiency and performance

    Physical body

1. Want to know how to improve efficiency and have time to do more things throughout the day. Get up at 4 in the morning. 5 at the most.

2. Take a contrast shower (1-3 minutes of the hottest water you can stand, 15-60 seconds of cold, repeat 3 times). This recommendation is certainly not for everyone, but for people with a fairly healthy body. However, if you do, increased efficiency in the morning and throughout the day you are guaranteed.

3. Drink 1 liter of clean water at room temperature or slightly heated on an empty stomach. This amount of water is no less important than a morning shower. Your body will be cleansed of toxins released at night. This means that the quality of your energy will significantly increase and you will be able to increase the efficiency of any of your activities.

4. Go to bed no later than 22.00. People who do not have enough energy and who are wondering “How to improve performance” very often do not comply with sleep. Late bedtime does not increase mental and physical performance, but lowers it.

5. At least 2 hours before bedtime do not watch or read anything aggressive, do not watch the news. Looking before going to bed something unpleasant, you will deprive yourself of a quiet rest and the next day will be broken, from which your performance will decrease significantly.

6. Try to stay at least 15 minutes a day outdoors and in the sun. So you will be able to significantly improve your performance.

  34 tips to improve efficiency and performance

Food

7. In the morning, drink a vegetable cocktail or eat a fruit (for example, an Apple). Breakfast is available in 20-30 minutes. I prefer nuts for Breakfast, mint tea with honey or organic kefir with a spoon of honey. Pay attention to proper nutrition and competent start of the day, especially if you often wonder “How to improve efficiency.”

8. Very useful to eat in the morning 1 teaspoon of pollen. You can also eat pollen during the day when you need a burst of energy. Increased efficiency then you are guaranteed.

9. Never overeat. If you have done this more than once, you probably noticed that after overeating the forces begin to leave the body and want to sleep. Heavy snacks are not the best way to improve your efficiency.

10. 80% of the consumed products should be vegetables, 20% — fruits, cereals, nuts. Very little dairy. If you eat meat or fish, eat these foods a maximum of 2-3 times a week and only during lunch. In the evening they do not have time to digest, which makes sleep restless. Accordingly, the next day you feel broken and you have to think about how to improve their performance by poor-quality energy sources.

11. Germinate wheat or green buckwheat — they give a huge burst of energy and rejuvenate the body, as well as increase mental and physical performance.

12. Always drink BEFORE meals, do not drink after meals for at least an hour, preferably two.

13. Do not eat at least 3 hours before bedtime.

14. If you still drink alcohol, do not drink more than 1 glass of wine (no strong drinks!) in one evening. Remember that alcohol is a loan of energy from the future, and sooner or later it will have to pay for the lack of energy and increased efficiency. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push();

15. During the day, after the morning liter of water, drink another 2-4 liters.

16. Gradually minimize your caffeinated drinks. Drink only herbal teas and water. Previously, I could not imagine life without a Cup of coffee in the morning and strong tea after lunch, but as soon as I completely gave up caffeine, I lost a strong decline in strength about 10-11 hours and in the afternoon about 15-16 hours. I forgot what pre-and post-dinner syndrome is.

  34 tips to improve efficiency and performance

Sport

17. Exercise at least 30 minutes a day. Many experts recommend sports 2-3 times a week. This may be sufficient to maintain physical fitness, but to increase energy and personal efficiency it is necessary to give yourself physical activity every day. You don’t eat only 3 meals a week. And sport is as important a source of energy as food.

18. Try to combine cardio (running, jumping, aerobics, dancing, Cycling) with stretching (yoga, Pilates, at worst, remember school gymnastics) and strength training (do not confuse with pulling packages from the grocery store). It is physical activity that will help you increase your efficiency and efficiency at times.

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34 tips to improve efficiency and performance

Emotions

19. If your main engine (body) is in order, you need to take care of the emotional component of your fuel to increase its efficiency. To start the day on a positive wave, use these options for morning emotional recharge:

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Watch a video of one of your teachers/the person who inspires you. After that, the tide of increased efficiency will come by itself, because nothing inspires as a personal example. Read a few pages of books on personal or spiritual development. Meditate for 15-30-60 minutes immediately after waking up. During the morning procedures, listen to audio recordings. The beautiful half of humanity is useful to combine the guidance of the morning marathon with audio programs. Now you can combine the improvement of appearance with the qualitative improvement of the inner world. Make a note in your diary — spend 10-15 minutes describing either your last thoughts, observations, or what you have learned over the last day. As Tony Robbins says, “if your life is worth living, it’s worth recording.”

20. Several times a day, do short breathing exercises, with deep exhalation and inhalation, focusing on breathing. This will help you to constantly feel the flow of energy, and therefore increase your efficiency.

21. Constantly pay attention to all that is positive during the day. We tend to focus on what goes wrong, and by focusing on the positive aspects, we reprogram ourselves and begin to see the whole picture of the day more objectively and positively.

22. If you like prayers, read them several times a day. If your path is meditation, periodically turn your attention inward and focus on the feeling of “here and now.”

23. Exclude from life idle pastime (empty transfers, gossips and discussion of things which do not give additional value of your life). You have a choice: you can talk for 15 minutes with colleagues during a break or read a Chapter of the book on personal development instead. What will give you a greater impetus to the development? Remember that “those who read books control those who watch TV.”

24. Make a list of things to stop doing. Stop doing that. You will release a huge amount of energy for more important things.

25. Write down at least 5 points tonight, for which you feel grateful today.

34 tips to improve efficiency and performance

Work

26. Make a list of important tasks that will help you (or your company) to reach a new level of development, but which often do not have enough time. The list of important tasks will increase your mental and physical activity, because it will inspire you to new achievements.

27. Start your day with these important but not urgent matters. Devote 1-2 hours of your most valuable morning time to creative tasks.

28. To make progress in important matters, turn off Skype, phone and exit email. Work at least 60-90 minutes before you get distracted. Working in this mode will bring much more results than working with a constant interruption.

29. Take a short break every 2 hours. Stretch, walk around the office, if you work from home — jump on the spot, make a few stretch marks. This is one of the best ways to improve your performance, because our brain is much easier to work when it periodically switches.

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  Additional recommendations for improving the quality of energy

30. Spend cleaning the liver (I practice the method of Andreas Moritz). If you are wondering “How to improve efficiency and efficiency”, then, first of all, pay attention to your health. It should be all right.

31. Take oils (linseed, nut, etc., which are most suitable for you).

32. Use the body brush before shower to clean pores. The body through the open pores will absorb more oxygen, filling your body with additional energy.

33. Gradually switch to environmentally friendly products for body care and cleaning of housing.

34. Visit the sauna at least once a week.

These tips are my concentrated experience over 10 years of improving your daily routine and improving efficiency. Of course, this is not an exhaustive list of all the techniques that can be used to improve the quality of life, but if you want to make a career, succeed in relationships, and succeed in other areas of life, they can be useful to you.

But if you constantly feel the decline of forces, begin to gradually introduce these principles into your life, and over time you will feel like another person — energetic, filled with positive energy and much more efficient.

Remember that life is not a sprint, but a long marathon, so it is better to introduce new habits to life day by day than to try to do everything at once and quickly burn out. Consistency and consistency — that’s the secret of the most successful and effective people in our world. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push();

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