#all those incorrect quotes are from fucking..... THEO

[bugieeeee]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE "I'll put so many bullets in you even god won't recognize you" "I'm an atheist so fire at will" IS FROM TEEN WOLF FUCK OFFFFF

[shelbeetaylor]

Meet the Author

hi, i'm shelbee, the author and owner of this blog! in september 2022 i began working on a fantasy story, and after reading a little bit of it, my friends suggested i post chapters and begin gaining a following! i post chapters every saturday, and also cross-post to ao3 and wattpad (visit my story masterpost linked below to find those links if you prefer reading on those sites). this fictional world is incredibly important to me, so i hope you all enjoy the story as well as the silly other things i post about the characters :)

below is a link to the masterpost, rules of the blog, a tag directory, and a little bit more about me!

-> click here for the story masterpost

rules of the blog:

homophobia, racism, sexism, transphobia, terfs, and any other forms of intolerance and discrimination are not welcome here! you will be blocked!

blocking extends to trolls, bullies, and weirdos as well!

please be kind! this story is a safe place for my innermost thoughts and feelings, and i want others to feel the same safety among my fictional world. and while i appreciate criticism or feedback (lack of beta readers, haha), please keep it constructive!

my ask box is always open! i love talking about the little guys in my head and their stories, so please send any questions you have my way!

finally, if you make any fan content of my story and characters, please tag me! i want to see it!

tag directory <3

#announcement: any sort of announcement i need to make, usually involving story news (like a new place to read it) or me telling y'all i won't be posting a chapter that week because of *insert reason here*

#ask the author: any post where i answer the questions left in my ask box

#character text posts: posts of incorrect quotes, false scenarios, and any other text post i've made involving my silly little guys in case you need a laugh or more non-canon content of the characters

#magic lesson: an info-dump post about my magic system like explaining rules, deep dives into spells mentioned, or otherwise

#meet the characters: introductions of the characters, usually accompanied by a cute mood board

#new chapter: every installment of the story itself

#soundtrack: posts involving the playlist i've curated for the story

#story scene: very specific one, but sometimes my friend grace makes like-- i don't quite know what to call them but for lack of a better term-- moodboards of scenes

characters with tags (in case you're looking for content specifically on one of them)

cassandra ravenwell

evie ravenwell

gena santira

theo valennard

wesley moonbourne

more about the author!

i am currently 20 years old.

my big three are taurus sun, leo moon, and capricorn rising.

last time i checked i was an infp.

while i moonlight as an author, i am also a full-time college student and a bartender. i also am involved with a community theatre near my hometown, so my free time is also spent performing in shows or volunteering on staff for fight coordinating.

i identify as a lesbian who uses she/her pronouns.

my inspiration mostly comes from bbc merlin, the special interest show that made me realize i was gay as fuck. *insert agatha harkness shrug* this story actually started as a joke fanfic of my trio of friends at the time with a bit of gender-bending... and now here we are, haha. it's not the only inspiration i draw on, but it's a big portion of it since the show is so very important to me.

as always, thank you for visiting and giving my story the time of day, and i hope you enjoy!

[unfortunate-arrow]

Tadhg Lynch Protection Squad: Incorrect Quotes

Teddy: Sweet suffering Jesus! It’s the morning already! What are we going to do?

Tadhg: Maybe we could start with calming the fuck down.

Teddy: Calm down! We’re still on William of Orange, Tadhg! We haven’t so much looked at the famine. 

Lu: We got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was raging. 

Theo: Well, I can’t tell my rebellions from my risings.

Tadhg: And who’s fault’s that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes there’d be a lot less to wade through. [muttering] English prick. 

Teddy: Nothing’s going in! Nothing is going in and every time I try to make notes… what’s happening to me?

Adelia: There’s quite a lot of caffeine in those, Teddy. How many of them have you had? 

Teddy: I don’t know. Five? Twenty-three? 

Theo: We are all so fucked.

@cursebreakerfarrier @rosievixen @that-ravenpuff-witch @smarti-at-smogwarts

[notveryglittery]

trampoline

summary: moral of the story: don’t leave patton and roman alone when they’re bored.  words: 1,779 |  ships: platonic royality & moxiety. platonic lamp.  warnings: roman and patton acting like drunk fraternity boys, panicking notes: this one was so much fun. inspired by this post from @prinxietys!! “theo-doze-a” nickname from @katatles-the-fish‘s post here!

read on ao3! | read more incorrect quotes ficlets! 

It was any other day in the Mindscape.

Logan was in his room, working on various schedules. Thomas had spent the last few days visiting his parents and as such, had been in full on relaxation mode. Not much had gotten done and the Sides, for the most part, hadn’t minded. Now, though, Logan felt it necessary to make up for lost time, and was making plans for the last few weeks of the month. No one blamed him for wanting to be ahead of the game and Virgil, in fact, encouraged it. They all understood that it’d help Virgil out in the long run and so even Roman and Patton had left Logan alone. His door was open, just in case, and classical music could be heard drifting down the hallway.

Virgil, meanwhile, was in the Commons. While he’d normally spend this time in his own room, listening to music or a podcast, he had decided the living room might be more comfortable today. He had taken up most of the space on the coffee table, with various adult coloring books. He preferred colored pencils but there were crayons and markers available to him as well. Roman had provided the mediums where Patton had offered the art. Instead of listening with headphones in like usual, Virgil had his music playing quietly through the speakers of his phone. Sunlight spilled into the room through the open blinds.

Patton and Roman, ever the extroverts, thought spending their time alone sounded dreadful, and as such, were in the kitchen together. They’d already baked three batches of cookies (chocolate chip, snickerdoodle, and oatmeal raisin) and were working on a double layer cake. It’d be frosted with buttercream and they’d decorate it with pink flowers and raspberries and it was going to be delicious and beautiful. Their baking spree came to a halt, however, when Roman slipped out of his long sleeved maroon henley and down to the simple tank top underneath. It’d been getting warm in the kitchen, what with the oven on for so long. Patton found himself distracted by Roman’s arms and a thought came to him quite suddenly.

“Roman,” he began slowly, setting down the piping bag he’d started to fill. “You’re strong, aren’t you?”

Roman had seemed confused for hardly a second before he was beaming at Patton, looking a perfect mix of delighted and cocky. He made it work, somehow. 

“Of course!” He boasted, flexing. Patton swooned a little. “As a Prince, I must be in order to rescue damsels in distress!” He continued to show off before Patton’s curious, yet slightly mischievous, look caught his attention.

“In that case…” Patton peeked around Roman and into the living room, where Virgil was still distracted by his coloring. He leaned in closer to Roman and whispered, rather conspiratorially, “how far do you think you could throw me?”

They tried to be careful as they snuck out the front door but their giggling caught Virgil’s attention. It might also have had something to do with the bad feeling he had suddenly in the pit of his stomach. He followed the pair outside, from a distance, and rolled his eyes at how utterly unaware they were. Virgil watched as Roman first conjured a trampoline; he couldn’t hear them debating on how far or close to put it to the house, but he got the idea after they moved it a couple times. That bad feeling intensified when Roman created a ladder next and gestured grandly for Patton to climb up it first.

Before Roman could follow, Virgil darted forward and caught him by the wrist.

 “What are you two up to?” He asked, not meaning to sound distrustful. He must’ve failed at it because Roman pulled away, looking slightly insulted.

“We’re testing my strength!” Roman defended. “You have absolutely nothing to worry about!” 

With that, he ascended the ladder after Patton, and before Virgil could follow, snapped it back out of existence.

“Roman, I swear...” Virgil muttered darkly, before bolting back into the house.

Meanwhile, Logan had closed his door and was laying down on his bed. He’d decided a break to rest his eyes would be advantageous, and was admiring the swirling galaxy that was his ceiling. It was quiet and peaceful and— 

The sound of footsteps bounding up the staircase and down the hallway pulled him from his reverie. He’d just sat up when the door slammed open, banging against the wall.

“Virgil,” Logan said, “what ever has gotten into you?”

Out of breath, Virgil gestured wildly back to where he’d come from. 

“Roman… is about to… yeet Patton… off the roof!” He was shouting, or trying to at least, while sucking in lungfuls of air. “Onto a trampoline!” He inhaled sharply one last time before approaching Logan, who’d had yet to move, and grabbing his arm. He yanked him off the bed and out of the room. “You’ve got to stop them.”

Logan stumbled after Virgil, whose grip wasn’t loosening any, and adjusted his glasses as they went. 

“I don’t know how you expect them to listen to me.” Logan sighed as Virgil led them down the steps. “You know how those two get once they’ve got an idea.”

 They continued outside and around to the back of the house. The trampoline had been relocated a few more times and they could hear Patton laughing.

Virgil finally let go of Logan and began to pace nervously.

“Roman, Patton,” Logan called, cupping his hands around his mouth. “I’d like to speak with you, please.”

“Oh great,” Roman yelled, peering over the edge of the roof. “You went and told on us?!” He shot Virgil a look of betrayal.

Patton appeared next to Roman and waved. “Hi, Logan!”

“If I recall correctly, to “yeet” is to throw an object forcefully over a long distance.”

Virgil groaned. “Yes, Logan.”

“Ten points to Ravenclaw!” Patton cheered.

“Am I to understand that you plan on throwing Patton off of the roof and onto this trampoline?”

“Yes, Logan, congratulations.” Roman said in a tone entirely too mocking given the situation.

“Have you considered how reckless and dangerous that is?”

“Aww, Lo! It’ll be okay!” Patton reassured. Virgil wanted to scream. “Roman’s super strong! And I’m the softest puffball we got!”

“Patton,” Virgil clasped his hands together as if he were begging, and honestly, he was this close. “Please do not do this.”

“We’re doing this, Theodozea!” Roman argued. “He’ll be fine! Won’t you, Patton?”

Patton nodded rapidly, glasses going slightly askew from the motion. 

“Here!” He said suddenly, pointing to the trampoline, and snapping his own fingers. A plethora of blankets and pillows appeared, covering the surface so thoroughly that it was a good thing there was a net surrounding the frame to keep them from spilling over. “Is that better?”

“Patton,” Virgil repeated, voice pitching higher, and sounding extremely distressed.

Without warning, Roman scooped Patton up into his arms. He squealed excitedly. 

“Ready, darling?” Roman asked, striding to the edge of the roof closest to where the trampoline was set up. 

“Roman!” Virgil snapped, finally having apparently reached his limit. “Roman, I swear to God, if you throw him off that roof—!”

“Honestly, you two, I fail to see how this is beneficial in any way, whatsoever.”

Roman spun in a few circles, as if trying to gain momentum, before he swung his arms out, and tossed Patton over the roof. Virgil screamed. Logan’s gasp came out strangled, as if he was properly surprised Roman had actually gone through with this ridiculous plan. Patton let out a peal of laughter, tucking his legs against his chest. He went flying through the air and Virgil felt his heart trying to beat itself out of his chest.

“Patton!!” he cried, rushing towards the trampoline. “Patton, oh my God, Patton, fuck, fuck, fuck.” His hands were shaking terribly as he watched Patton disappear into the pile of cushioning. Logan was following, face gone pale.

Before anything else could happen, Patton burst out of the nest of blankets and looked around gleefully. 

“Judges?!” He exclaimed, as if Virgil and Logan would rate his landing.

“Patton, move over!” Roman called from the roof. While he backed up to get a running start, Patton scrambled out of the middle of the trampoline and off to the side.

“Oh, for…” Logan mumbled, sounding like he was going to be sick.

“Roman, no!” Virgil’s voice cracked, hands reaching uselessly up, as if he could stop Roman from launching himself off the roof and onto the trampoline. 

Roman was stupidly graceful in his movements and Virgil was going to murder him for the unnecessary backflip, among many other things. Much like Patton, he vanished underneath the padding, before appearing again, hair an absolute disaster, and out of breath.

Roman snapped his fingers and the trampoline dematerialized. He and Patton and Patton’s pillows and blankets landed on the grass. Patton fell over, laughing himself silly.

“I hate you both,” Virgil panted. He allowed Patton to reach forward and take his hand, pulling him into the pile. 

“We aren’t friends anymore,” he insisted, “unfollowed, blocked, reported.” As he went on, he wrapped Patton tighter and tighter in his arms, until there was absolutely no chance of Patton getting away.

Roman crossed his arms, pouting. “See! He’s fine! I told you there was no need to worry!”

“You did no such thing,” Logan pointed out. 

Virgil could have mentioned that Roman did say so, before Logan had arrived, but he had no intention of standing up for Roman right about now. Logan stood out of reach so that he couldn’t be dragged into the cuddling. 

“Are you finished with all of…” He gestured to the mess, “this? I have more important things to be dealing with.”

Roman huffed. “Sure, yeah, fine, whatever.” 

He moved to join Virgil and Patton in their snuggling but Virgil pierced him with an absolutely murderous glare. Holding his hands up in surrender, he sighed in a very long-suffering sort of way. 

“I get it. Not your favorite person right now.” Still, Roman smiled sweetly at Patton as he stood. “I’ll go get those cakes ready to decorate, dearest.”

Patton nodded happily, still quite content to be enveloped in Virgil’s arms. Once the two were alone, Patton gently nudged his nose against Virgil’s neck. Virgil shuddered at the contact but held Patton all the more, as if the touch was further proof that Patton was okay, safe, alive. 

“Sorry to scare you, kiddo,” Patton apologized.

“Just promise it won’t happen again?” Virgil requested, rocking them back and forth a bit.

“I promise,” Patton agreed.

[mbtizone]

Liam Booker (Faking It): ISFP

Dominant Introverted Feeling [Fi]: Liam has very strong morals and is first and foremost concerned with doing the “right” thing. His conscience rules him, and if he does anything that contradicts his internal values, he obsesses over it until he’s able to correct his perceived shortcoming. Liam takes a stand for what he believes in. He is socially, economically, and environmentally aware, and wants the way he lives to reflect his principles. He’s opposed to lying and sneaking around, which makes his relationship with Karma difficult for him because he’s under the impression that Karma is dating Amy. He doesn’t want to get in the way of their relationship, and even though he cares about Karma, he feels that getting in the middle of their relationship is wrong. That’s just not who he is. Liam values honesty and hates that Amy is forcing him to keep their secret from Karma. He just wants to fess up, tell her the truth, and deal with the consequences. He can’t live with the guilt. Liam believes in punishing himself when he breaks his moral code and vows to abstain from sex after sleeping with Amy. He doesn’t like to openly discuss how he’s feeling, and prefers to do something to fix things rather than talk about it. Liam is very loyal to the people he loves and gives up his dream to get Karma and her family out of jail. He doesn’t tell her about this, though, because he didn’t do it to gain favor with her. He wants to earn her forgiveness and had no intention of using his good deed to sway her. He’s outraged when Karma considers taking the $250,000 check Mr. Booker wrote her to keep her away from Liam. He turned Zita down after she threw herself at him while Karma was contemplating accepting the bribe money, which hurts even more, because he knows she wouldn’t consider it for a single second if the money was given to her to stay away from Amy.

Auxiliary Extroverted Sensing [Se]: Sometimes, Liam makes shortsighted decisions in the heat of the moment and often comes to regret them after having time to reflect. He keeps seeing Karma, even though he’s against being with her behind Amy’s back. When he’s angry or upset, he tends to react without considering the ramifications. After his breakup with Karma, he learns that she had faked her relationship with Amy. In his outrage over being lied to for so long, he sleeps Amy and becomes immediately remorseful of his actions following the incident. Liam enjoys sensory pleasures, particularly sex, and is a talented artist. He expresses himself by creating, and is very good at translating his feelings into the works he produces (Fi-Se). Liam tends to work through his feelings physically – whether it’s by producing art or going to a mixed martial arts class with Theo.

Tertiary Introverted Intuition [Ni]: If Liam gets a hunch about something, he usually believes in it, fully committing to the idea, even if he’s completely mistaken. When Jackson Lee takes a special interest in him and his art, Liam is convinced that Jackson is his real father. He begins investigating to confirm his suspicions, and believes that he found “evidence” to prove it (his mother in the same photo as Jackson). However, it never occurs to him that it’s just a coincidence and his theory turns out to be incorrect. When Liam has a goal in mind, he can become singularly focused on achieving it, particularly if it’s something that is important to him morally.

Inferior Extroverted Thinking [Te]: When Liam believes in something, he does something about it. He organizes protests and inspires others to rally around him and fight back. When in protest mode, Liam is able to take charge, make decisions, and shout commands to the crowd. He doesn’t like when things are done for money, power, or control, which is why he refuses to drive a fancy car or buy expensive clothing, even though he comes from a rich family. He doesn’t like what money has done to them and rebels against that lifestyle. Liam is very upfront and lays down rules when need be – he tells Brandi upfront that their relationship must be casual sex or nothing. He’s not looking for a girlfriend, and if she can’t handle that, they have to stop hooking up. He knows what he wants, and has no problem speaking up.

Enneagram: 1w9 4w3 7w8 Sx/So

Quotes:

Brandi: Where have you been, Pooh Bear? Who’s this bitch? Liam: Whoa, Brandi, you’re drunk. Brandi: He’s mine, so keep those nipples to yourself. Karma: That was my goal from the beginning, I promise. Liam: Look, I am not your boyfriend. We’re just good friends who occasionally have sex, but if that’s too confusing for you, then we have to stop. [to Karma] What? Karma: Nothing. Liam: Look, I’m not a douche bag, all right? I’m always clear about my ground rules. And girls, they always agree to them, and then they get- Karma: Clingy? Women are genetically wired to mate and start a family. In fact, if we weren’t, our entire species would’ve died out, so have some respect.

Shane: They’re here, they’re queer, they need your votes. Nice work, minions. Liam: Anything to help the gays.

Karma: Liam’s parents are rich, but he drives a beat-up biodiesel, which means he’s socially aware. His best friends are a gay guy and a feminist, which means he’s tolerant and accepting of strong women. And he’s an artist, which means that deep down inside he’s wounded.

Liam: I’m glad you got back together with your girlfriend. You two are like the school’s Portia and Ellen. Karma: Which one am I? Please say Portia. Liam: Trust me, you’re the Portia. Which is why we probably shouldn’t make out again. I don’t want to be the asshole that breaks up Hester’s cutest couple.

Liam: We can see through your lies! She’s just trying to buy us! Robin: Trust me, no one is trying to buy you. Though you’ll each be getting new Skwerkel smartphones and tablets. Liam: What do you get out of this? Robin: The satisfaction of helping a school in desperate need of money. Also, Skwerkel will own all data collected on these devices. Karma: That means our photos, our emails, our text messages. They want to make us their digital slaves. Are we gonna let them? Crowd: Hell, no! Liam: Time to occupy Hester. Man your stations!

Liam: Money has made my family secretive, image-obsessed ass. I want nothing to do with it or them.

Liam: Look, maybe you two are okay with this sneaking around thing, but I’m not. I tried to be, but it’s just not who I am.

Liam: They’re right. I knew Karma had a girlfriend, but I kept seeing her. Shane: Why are you beating yourself up like this? It’s not your fault they broke up.

Liam: Six months? That’s forever. Karma: I know, I’m sorry. But if people at school think I left Amy for you, they’ll hate us more than oil companies. Liam: And Amy is okay with this? I just, I really don’t like lying.

Amy: This is kidnapping. Shane: It’s really more blackmail. Lauren: We’re going to take photos of this assjolr that are so shocking and deviant, he’ll never tell anyone my secret. Shane: Conveniently, my mom sells sex toys out of the trunk of her car. Amy: Guys, guys, this is illegal and highly disturbing. Lauren, how bad could this secret be? Lauren: Ugh, I’m not telling you my fucking secret. Shane: She’s not. Trust me, I tried. Liam: Guys, I’m with Amy. Maybe it’s a good thing this thing gets out. They say you’re only as sick as your secrets. Amy: What? No, who says that? Who, the voices in your head? Tell ’em to shut up. I changed my mind. I’m on board. This is America. We are all entitled to our secrets. Will you excuse us for a second? What the hell was that? “You’re only as sick as your secrets”? I’m sorry, but the guilt is killing me. Amy: Oh, this little piggy went boo-hoo-hoo all the way home. Man up. Look, it’s killing me too, but what would it do to Karma if she found out that her soul mate slept with you? Liam: So what, we just pretend it never happened? Amy: What happened? See how easy that was? And before we never speak of this again, do I need to add contracting syphilis to last night’s list of tragic events?

Shane: You’re still hung up on Karma, aren’t you? I don’t get it. Are her lips dusted with cocaine or something? Liam: No, this is not about Karma, and I’m only hung up on her because Little Liam wanted to meet a lesbian, so he needs to be put in time-out. Shane: Why are you punishing your penis? Hey, Karma is the one who lied. Liam: Trust me, I deserve to be punished. Shane: No, you deserve to move on, and the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new, stat. Unless you don’t want to get over her. Liam: Of course I want to get over her. I just think celibacy is the best way to do that. Shane: I don’t know. In my experience, it only leads to blue balls and long, incoherent speeches about wolves.

Amy: This is your last chance. Promise me you won’t tell Karma or I’m about to make a scene so juicy I might win a daytime Emmy. Liam: What if I tell her I slept with someone and I don’t say that someone was you? Amy: Not a negotiation, last chance. Liam: Wow, you’re completely mental. This is what secrets do to people. Amy: Three, two – Liam: You wouldn’t dare ’cause then you’d have no leverage. Amy: [hits Liam in the face] How dare you? That was one. Liam: Amy, come on. Amy: Don’t touch me! Liam: Amy. Amy: Do you know where I met Liam? At a protest. And do you know what we were protesting? Skwerkel. Mr. Booker: Liam. Amy: But it turns out, he was just seducing me. He never told me his father founded the company. Who are you, Liam Booker? Liam: That’s hilarious. Amy has been taking improv classes, and she’s getting very good. Amy: And if that weren’t enough of a betrayal, I also found out that he slept with my best friend.

Liam: I cannot believe – Did I just really say all of that out loud? Amy: You did. And your family… Liam: Probably disowned me, but right now, I do not give a fuck. I have a huge weight off my back. Amy: Now I get why you’re so hung up on honesty. Liam: Yeah, well a few years ago I accidentally found my original birth certificate and my whole world cracked. It weighed me down ever since. I wish somehow I could un-know it, but, I can’t. I don’t want to tell Karma something she can’t un-know, I care about her way too much. Amy: That’s just how I feel, thank you.

Shane: Quit taking it out on these innocent art supplies. Liam: Shane, really, I don’t want to talk about it. Shane: That’s just your straight guy resistance to talking about your feelings. Push through it. Theo: What are y’all on about? Shane: It’s Karma’s birthday, and Liam can’t be with her for reasons too complicated and fucked up to specify. Theo: Wanna go hit stuff? Always makes me feel better. I’m taking this mixed martial arts class downtown. Shane: Nice try, Theo, but what Liam needs is to talk it all out over some grilled cheeses at Millie’s Diner. Theo: What is this, The View? Liam: Shane, I’m sorry, but that class is just what the doctor ordered. Shane: You’re not the doctor. You’re the patient. You can’t prescribe your own medicine. Theo: Wow, you really think you know what’s best for everybody, don’t you? Shane: It’s a gift. Liam: We’ll talk it out later, I promise. But right now, I just want to punch someone in the face without getting arrested. You wanna come? Shane: I’ll pass. It all sounds a bit too aggressively heterosexual for me.

Karma: If she can’t handle our relationship, then maybe it’s not meant to be. Do you want some dessert? They have homemade doughnuts. Liam: She doesn’t want doughnuts. She wants Reagan. Karma: Amy loves doughnuts. Liam: Karma, we get it. You know all of Amy’s favorite foods, but can’t you see that she’s really into Reagan? You can fix this, but you’ve gotta go and stop her. Amy: You’re right. Liam: No, Karma. Karma, this isn’t about you. You need to give them space.

Karma: You gave up art for me? Liam: Zita told you? Karma: The real question is why you didn’t. Liam: Because I didn’t do it to buy your forgiveness. I want to earn that. But do you think I ever will? Karma: Look, I want to forgive you. You’re doing all the right things. I’m just scared of getting hurt again, which is why I need to be in control. Liam: I’m okay with that. Karma: Then put your hands behind your back.

Shane: Grr! Young Jackson Lee was cute. Liam: And that’s Robin in the same picture. That’s proof! Shane, he’s my dad! Shane: I don’t know. I’ve been in plenty of pictures with people I haven’t impregnated. Liam: No, it all makes so much sense now! Being an artist is in my blood, and now my dad has come back to build some kind of relationship with me. I’ve dreamt about this moment. Shane: Liam- Liam: Shh! When I dreamt about it, there was no talking.

Amy: Who wouldn’t consider taking $250,000? Liam: I’ve been such an idiot. Karma: It could help my parents get back on their feet, help pay for college. How could I not consider it for even a second? Liam: After you left L.A., Zita kissed me. She made it very clear she wanted more, but I turned her down. It didn’t take me a week to think about it. Karma: Oh, yeah, well, too bad you didn’t think before you slept with Amy. Amy: Karma, please leave me out of this. Liam: Here we go again. You’re taking a bribe to stay away from me, but I’m the one defending myself? Karma: I’m not rich, Liam! I didn’t fall asleep in class because I’ve been studying. I’ve been working every catering gig I could get. And I live in a freaking juice truck! Liam: It’s so besides the point, it’s not even funny. If you were offered that money to stay away from Amy, you wouldn’t have considered it for one second!

Principal Turner: These are all of the school’s known visual artists. One of them has to be “B.” All right, you Banksy wannabes. You’ve had your fun. Now if someone doesn’t admit to being “B,” you will all be suspended. And yes, I can do that. Again, read the Terms & Conditions. Liam: It was me, okay? I am “B.” Now, let everyone else go. Principal Turner: B for Booker. You know, I think we might just skip right past suspension to full-on expulsion Penelope: Stop! It wasn’t Liam. It was me. “B” is for Beaver. I mean, Bevier.

Liam Booker (Faking It): ISFP was originally published on MBTI Zone