#all that's left is character building and further development

[llycaons]

I'm still so mad about how ging just dropped casually into the election arc. or, I'm not mad, but I'm mad that the netflix summary spoiled me for it. seeing that for the first time on screen would have blown my mind

[silkentine]

Can you tell me a bit more about how you think the genders would change the story in the OP world

Hi! THANK YOU sooooo much for your question! When I do genderbending, I love to keep almost all things about a character the same except for what might change based on how other people would treat them regarding their gender (in both positive and negative ways). So for example, my fem!Usopp is more concerned with her physical appearance (building jewelry and wearing colorful fabrics) because she was raised mostly by herself after her Mom, Yassop, left and her Dad, Banchina, died and learned at an early age that girls get listened to when they look more pulled together, something that likely didn’t affect male Usopp since boys are allowed to be a bit more rough and tumble. Masc!Robin, on the other hand, had an easier time living on the run but he struggled to develop advanced social skills and is therefore a bit more standoffish and shy than canon!Robin (this is why he wears gloves when we first meet him in Girl Piece). I have more in-depth ideas about how fem!Zoro and fem!Sanji’s backstories/timeskip might change (because gender roles and expectations play a large part) but it’ll take me some time (and space) to fully write them down teehee. When I publish my fem!Zoro design, expect there to be basically an entire fanfic in the caption LOL

Admittedly, a lot of my design choices are aesthetic ones since I am primarily a visual artist so I have a lot to say about what the characters wear and how they perceive themselves. If you’re interested in how their behaviors and the story itself might change, I (once again and forever will continue to) recommend ~Well Hello Ladies~ by @kooabreen on AO3. Her work affects mine often and vice versa. She can take one of my half-formed ideas and run with it, turning a tiny little detail (that’s maybe 10 pixels wide in my art) into a beautiful chapter about sisterhood.

As further thanks for your question, I drew Shanks and Luffy! All Hail Girl Piece!!!

[daiziesssart]

a humiliatingly long character analysis of lily evans

Someone sent me an ask that briefly mentioned how misunderstood Lily is, and before I knew it I was typing out this monster. I am. sorry. This is literally just me rambling about her, what I find compelling about her character, and why her character is so often misunderstood.

This is long as hell so I'm putting it under a read more lolol

Part of the reason I like Lily so much (other than my being ginger and projecting onto any redheaded female character I see) is that even though she isn’t explored as much as her other Marauders Era counterparts, we know enough about her to start building the framework for her character. And what I see is a girl who was incredibly interesting, kind, and flawed.

One thing I always think about in regards to Lily is that she was dealt with a pretty unfair hand. As soon as she receives her letter, she’s basically torn between two worlds, both of which have been less than welcome to her. On one hand, we have the muggle world that she’s known all her life, but once she starts integrating into the wizarding world, she likely feels a bit of a disconnect with that world. To twist the knife further, her sister- whom she loved dearly and grew up so close with- starts outwardly resenting her with such unbridled hostility that they likely couldn’t even be in a room alone together without major conflict. 

On the other hand, we have the wizarding world– a world she’s not as familiar with and one she soon learns holds a demographic of people who hate everything she is and would rather see her excommunicated or even dead. And even though finding out you’re a witch/wizard is probably such an exciting and life-changing moment, I can’t help but also take note of the difficulties, especially if you’re the only one in your family with magic. You’re essentially uprooted from the only way of life you’ve known at an already complicated age, and now you have to quickly become acclimated to this new world that you only just found out existed. Not only that, but now you’re suddenly attending a school with classes that are primarily focused on this world of magic (which is still brand new to you), and you have to work extra hard to play catch up in order to do well. Like, that all seems like… a lot for a kid to handle.

And then I remember how young she was when she was thrown into that mess. She was only 11, and kids that age desperately crave any sense of belonging. I mean, that’s something that still holds true for adults, but it’s especially critical for a developing child. So imagine Lily, ages 11-15, struggling to stay afloat in this weird purgatory between these two parts of herself, both of which have been the cause for major and traumatic experiences relating to rejection in her life.

(I say it was the “cause” even though it’s obvious that those things were never her fault at all, but when you’re a young kid navigating the world, the only thing you’re able to process is that the common denominator is you, therefore you’re the one who must shoulder the blame.)

So now we have this tween-teenaged girl who has a dysfunctional relationship with two major parts of identity and probably feels absolutely lost. 

This is why her hesitancy to end her friendship with Snape makes sense to me. Even though by fifth year he’s already well past toeing the line with the dark arts, Lily was willing to overlook some pretty egregious and troubling things in order to maintain the relationship. I kind of interpret that as her way of desperately clinging on to any sense of belonging she has left; her relationship with Petunia has already been poisoned, and now there are people who resent her existence as a witch; if she loses Severus too, what and who else does she have? And what tone does that set for her, if everyone and everything she’s come to hold close to her ends up turning her away?

It’s also important to note that not only is Severus one of her few remaining connections to the muggle world, but he’s also a wizard who grew up in the muggle world; he understands her, and I don’t doubt that he gave her some stability at times when she needed it (her finding out about her being a witch, her having trouble acclimating to the wizarding world, etc).

I see this as being one of her flaws and I can actually appreciate how relatable and realistic it feels. Lily is not a bad person; on the contrary, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone to describe her as such. Not to get all clinical and boring, but the interesting thing about (unhealthy) coping mechanisms is that it can actually be really hard to identify them in your own behavior. Unless you’re in therapy and/or are actively psychoanalyzing yourself, you likely don’t even realize how many of your common behaviors are born from self defense mechanisms put in place by your brain after past events.

To me, it makes sense why she avoided actually confronting the idea that Snape was too far gone. We know that she was aware of the path Severus was taking, but it almost seems like she was still convinced that she could save him, and could possibly steer him back in the right direction. It’s only when she becomes the target of his bigotry that she realizes that the Snape who called her a ‘mudblood’ was not the same Severus who was the one who held her hand and introduced her to this new, exciting world.

In a general sense, yes, it is selfish, to only take a stand when something starts affecting you personally. But I also think it’s important to note that it’s unlikely that this was a conscious decision on Lily’s part. In my eyes, it was easier to delude herself into thinking she still had a chance to save him before it was too late when she was able to separate him from his actions (considering, a lot of the time, she was only hearing about them after the fact, rather than seeing them firsthand). But the elusion is shattered once she sees that the Snape she grew up with– her friend, Severus– is, in fact, the same person who’s out there calling other students slurs, dismissing the malicious use of Dark Magic on others as just “a laugh”. There we see a Lily who is actually revealed to have been somewhat aware of Snape’s involvement with the darker side of magic, and genuinely feels pretty ashamed about her inaction.

Also, this is in no way me being a Snape-anti, and I actually could do an entire separate analysis on his character alone and why I find him so interesting.

Anyways, that moment in SWM is probably somewhat of an epiphany to her. It’s like a dam that’s been broken, and now she’s overwhelmed with the realization of exactly how much she overlooked in order to keep their friendship afloat. And for someone like Lily Evans, someone whom we know is opinionated and unafraid to call others out on their bullshit, that can be hard to swallow and feel pretty mortifying and shameful. And I think this was a huge turning point for her- at that point, she doesn’t have the luxury of avoiding uncomfortable truths anymore and now that she’s getting closer to graduating and being thrown out into the world on the brink of war, this was probably a really sobering discovery.

This is where we don’t have as much info to go off of, and a lot of it is up to interpretation. But we actually have little crumbs to go off of following her graduation and leading up to her death.

One of my favorite little tidbits isn’t in the books, and @seriousbrat's post reminded me about it. Here's the actual entry on Pottermore for anyone who's interested, but I'll summarize: after James and Lily began dating, Lily brings James to meet newly engaged Petunia and Vernon. Everything goes downhill, because Vernon is a smarmy asshole, and James is still pretty immature and can’t help but mess with him (which… fair, I guess). Petunia and Vernon storm out after Petunia letting Lily know that she had no intentions of having her as a bridesmaid, which causes Lily to break down into tears. I mention this because I also think it’s a pretty important aspect of her character; like we’ve seen in her past friendship with Snape, Lily seems more than willing to forgive others most of the time. Petunia is a bit of a complicated character herself, but she was objectively very cruel and unfair to Lily once it became obvious that she was a witch and Petunia was not.

Something that always stands out to me is just how desperate Lily is to earn Petunia’s trust and approval again. Even up until her death, she was more than willing to mend the relationship, were Petunia ever to consider. 

This is a detail about Lily that I feel is misunderstood quite a bit. I’ve seen a lot of instances of her character being reduced to a one-dimensional archetype with little to no complexity. And often, that archetype is “know-it-all, prudish, self righteous bookworm who is also a goody two-shoes with a stick up her ass”. What annoys me is that the reason for this is most definitely the scene in which she blows up at James in SWM for bullying Snape, and hurls quite a few insults at him directly after an extremely devastating and overwhelming situation for her. This frustrates me because we know for a fact that she’s the polar opposite of this archetype I’ve seen her reduced to. 

In actuality, she’s referred to as popular, charming, witty, bright and kind. From flashbacks we also are shown that she’s opinionated, bold, and not afraid to challenge others. With other context, like her interpersonal relationships, we can also see that she’s pretty emotionally driven and wears her heart on her sleeve. 

(I know Remus didn’t mention Lily much in the books, but I really love how he described her in the movies. He tells Harry that the first thing he noticed about him was not his striking resemblance to his father, but his eyes, the same eyes Lily had. He also calls her a “singularly gifted witch” and an “uncommonly kind woman”.

“She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even and perhaps most especially, when that person could not see it in themselves.”

I know there are mixed feelings on whether or not the films count as canon source material, so take it with a grain of salt, but I personally cannot see a world in which Lily and Remus didn’t become close friends.)

Here we have a direct description of what she was like and who she was, corroborated by recounting of memories of her, and yet for some reason, this feels like the thing that is most commonly lost in translation.

I don’t think I can say why I think that is without mentioning the dreaded M word (misogyny- it’s misogyny), but I also don’t want to get too off topic so I’ll be brief: female characters are typically not given the same grace as male characters. When we have an undeveloped male character, he’s awarded the assumption that despite his lack of depth, there still exists a complex and multifaceted character– it’s merely just potential that hasn’t been tapped into. Whereas when we have underdeveloped female characters, they are taken at face value, meaning that not much exists beyond the little information we have of them. They are not presumed to have a life or a story that exists beyond the surface of what we know like male characters are. That’s why I think characters like Regulus, Evan, or Barty (just to name a few) are more popular than Lily, despite being less developed than she is.

(Before anyone gets defensive, no, I don’t think it’s an individual problem that you alone need to be shamed for. I think it’s the result of a deeper issue regarding misogyny in media as a concept; these are things that we’ve all unknowingly internalized and while it’s not our fault, we still have to do the work to deconstruct those learned prejudices.)

What I find really cool about her character is that despite how much she’s been hurt, she’s also still known as one of the most loving, kind, and considerate characters. There were so many times in her life where the love she received was conditional and ripped away from her– and I think that’s what makes her sacrifice even more poignant. She was able to protect her infant son from an extremely powerful dark wizard, wand-less, knowing that her husband was just murdered in cold blood, just from how much love she felt for Harry. Her love was a force of nature on its own, and I just think that’s such an amazing thing about her. 

I know I’m biased, given that she’s one of my favorite characters, but even upon delving into this, I still just find it so incredibly hard to understand how anyone can actively hate her (not indifference, but actual dislike). In my opinion (again, no one is unbiased, and she is a favorite character of mine, but trust me when I say that I’m trying to be objective as possible when I say this), she’s probably one of the most likable characters of the Marauders Era. I think perhaps a lot of people haven’t given her a chance or really taken the time to learn about her character, but it could be a myriad of other reasons that I’ll never understand. 

There's so much more I could say but this is long enough and I will stop myself

Lily Evans, u will always be famous to me

[sixosix]

EPISODE TWO.

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The time it happened was when Izumi and Koji had been busy with their sports club—and the students who didn’t have anything to attend to stayed behind and finished up work in the classroom. This leaves you, Hinata, and one of the girls in your class who pounces on you the moment you’re alone.

“Hey…” Yuriko starts. She grins slyly, pushing her chair closer to yours until you’re cornered against your desk and the wall. "You and Yukitaka-kun seem pretty close, huh? What’s that all about?”

Warmth builds in your cheeks. “You think so?”

“Don’t act so coy!” Yuriko cackles. “You know everyone in the class thinks so.”

You hide your face with your hands. “It’s embarrassing…!”

As if a dam broke, Yuriko shakes you back and forth by the shoulders like lifelong friends. “Yukitaka is the guy even girls in other classes have a crush on! You’re so lucky!”

You feel pride bloom in your chest. Yeah… Yeah! This is how it goes. Just like the movies, the shows—it’s normal to have rivals. It’s part of the plot, even; for your character development and to further progress your relationship with Izumi. Everyone likes a good jealousy trope.

“So? What are you two?”

You might have bluescreened. “Huh?”

“Are you together?”

You’re not sure what face you’re making by this point, but it must’ve been pretty confusing if Yuriko looks mildly worried. “I— What! No!”

“So you aren’t?”

“So what?”

“Don’t get so upset!” She claps you on the back. Air blows out of your lungs for a good two seconds. Hinata looks over his shoulder, and you flush in embarrassment, realizing that he’s hearing every word of this conversation. “Everyone thinks you’re together except the both of you, apparently. Have you at least confessed to each other?”

“Well… I like him,” you mutter shyly.

“Does he like you back?”

…Does he?

Your eyes widen.

You cannot believe you managed to skip over the most important part—reciprocated feelings! Usually, it’d take a lot longer for that, for the build up of the story. But this is real life! There’s no need for all that nonsense! You have to find out if he does.

“I don’t know yet, but I will soon,” you promise.

Yuriko pales. “That’s pretty threatening. Don’t coerce the guy.”

“I wouldn’t have to. We’re soulmates.”

“...I mean—I guess?”

As fate designed it, you and the three boys grow closer and closer with each Lunch break and free period spent together. It’s all in your plan to make Izumi like you back, but Koji and Shoyo aren’t half-bad, either.

Well, mostly Koji. Shoyo is still a real piece of work. You bicker back and forth endlessly—you with your grudge against his bike, and Shoyo because he’s simply confrontational. But whatever relationship you have with Shoyo doesn’t matter, not when you seem to have progressed with Izumi.

You feel like Izumi feels the same way—he has to be.

“You notice it, too, right, Shoyo?”

“I mean—I dunno…” Hinata trails off awkwardly. He glances around the room nervously. But why would he? It’s just the two of you alone; Yuriko had left. “It’s only been two weeks.”

“But if we’re soulmates, then you don’t worry about stuff like that.” You inch closer to Hinata, nose-to-nose. “Don’t you think so, Shoyo? You think so, too, right?”

Hinata sucks in a sharp breath, turning several shades darker. “I… I—” He shoves your face away, then buries his own in his palms. “I don’t know! Leave me alone!”

You pout. “Aren’t you his best friend? You’re a useless wingman.”

“I didn’t sign up to be one!”

What a real piece of work.

Yuriko wasn’t joking when she said that at least half the class was nudging you in Izumi’s direction. You almost feel bad for Izumi, who looks just as lost as you are when your classmates not-so-subtly push you to each other when the class is forming a crowd. They giggle and smirk, and when Izumi asks you, “What’s going on?”, you have to play dumb. You can’t tell if they’re ruining or accelerating your plan—either way, it’s throwing you just as much as Izumi off.

“I guess they think we make a great pair,” you say. “Or something.”

Izumi mulls it over for a few seconds, before smiling down at you. “Well, they aren’t wrong.”

And because you’re hopeless and harboring a big crush on the guy, you stutter and nearly trip over your own feet. The class explodes and bullies you relentlessly with teasing remarks. Your face is hot, and Izumi doesn’t really get it, but that’s okay. This is peak middle school romance—one of them’s gotta be clueless.

Fortunately, you don’t have to put with any more of that when the teacher walks in and tells everyone off, effectively freeing you from nosy teenagers.

You weren’t prepared for how awkward it would be. If you confess and get rejected, does that mean that the class will know about it as well? What a terrifying pressure to put on your shoulders.

“Are you guys coming over to watch our match?” Izumi asks one day. “We’re going up against some of the top guys. It’ll be fun.”

Hinata emits a wordless sound of excitement. “You can win this, Izumin!”

Izumi giggles. “We don’t have to win—I just want to play.”

Hinata thwacks a hand against Izumi’s back. “Believe in yourself!”

“Okay, okay,” Izumi says placatingly, but he’s still tittering.

“I’ll watch, Izumi,” you say with a beam. You haven’t seen him play before, but you bet that he would look really cool, and you would feel your heart thump-thump the entire time. You’d cheer for him.

Izumi’s smile is less teasing and more genuine and directed at you. “Okay. I’ll see you there.”

Koji gags, shattering the fragile moment that’s carefully bubbled between you two. “Stop it. Gross.”

You fluster, unsure of what to say or if you should even give yourself an excuse. Luckily, Izumi saves you.

“What about you, Shoyo? How’s your volleyball club?”

Hinata pouts. Even his hair and shoulders seem to have deflated. “I’m still the only member. The girls’ club is helping me out, but it’s not the same.”

Koji and Izumi share guilty glances, but it’s not like they can do much for him, either—at least, not in the way Hinata needs.

You wonder, gaze lingering on Hinata.

When Hinata suddenly becomes interested in volleyball, he just has to drag everyone along with him. During lunch, he begs for everyone to steal a ball from the sports club, but you’re all good students, so Hinata ends up asking permission by himself. Serves him right. Izumi is busy enough with basketball, while Koji is too used to using his legs and is not making up for good practice. You just don’t want to play.

“I just want to play,” Hinata whines at you, aiming his puppy eyes that don’t affect you in the slightest.

“Get off me, you midget,” you hiss, knocking him off your shoulders.

He slides away in a pathetic slither. “Break is almost over! Please! Just toss to me!”

“Jeez! Fine!”

Hinata makes a wordless sound of unadulterated glee, classic Hinata.

“But not now. We have a volleyball at home.” You ignore Hinata’s wide smile, feeling rudely affected by it. “Let’s go to the park or something.”

“Really!? You’d do that?”

“Yeah. Sure, I guess.” Hinata keeps smiling wider, and your irritation spikes. “It’s only to get you off my back—I’m not doing you any favors.”

Your annoyed rebuttal is interrupted by Koji’s cough. You and Hinata turn to them with blinking eyes. Izumi and Koji stare at you with something like wonder—like they’re seeing something they missed before.

“Since when did you two get so close?” Koji asks suspiciously.

“Ha?” you and Hinata chorus.

“You call this close?” Then you bury your knuckle on his head, grinning at Hinata’s answering whine. “I hate his guts.”

Izumi laughs. “You two act like you’ve known each other forever.”

You shudder, horrified. “Oh, dear.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hinata says, tugging on your wrist. You’re a bit miffed that he’s only mildly offended. “Come with me; let’s return this to the gym.”

“What? Why do you need someone to come with you—”

Hinata ignores your attempts at nudging his grip off, marching to the gymnasium like he isn’t holding you hostage.

“Why do you have a volleyball at home? Do you play?” he asks.

You thought Hinata would be uninterested in sports compared to Izumi and Koji. You’re not quite sure where this sudden obsession has come from. He just showed up one day in class and declared that he would be the Little Giant… whatever that means.

“My cousin does.”

“Is your cousin a pro?”

“I just know Tenma plays a lot. I dunno.”

“Oh, cool.” Hinata doesn’t loosen his grip even as you reach the gymnasium. He has a powerful grip for someone who looks short and is built like a twig. How surprising. He directs that dumb fucking grin toward you once again, forcing you to look off to the side.

You want to say something to piss him off and wipe that smile off his face, but Hinata goes incredibly still and silent. You follow his gaze and see Yuriko by the corner, staring at you and Hinata weirdly.

“Hi,” you call out, waving.

“H-Hey,” she says, “um, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” then scurries off.

Weird...

Hinata shoulder-checks your side. “Hey.”

You glance over at him briefly; he’s still looking at the spot Yuriko was. “Hey, you.”

“When are you gonna confess to Izumi?”

You gape, mouth hanging uselessly as Hinata keeps his gaze forward.

“I—I mean… I don’t know, really.” Is he trying to change the subject? You bury your face in your hands, steaming from the ears. “Maybe when we graduate? I’m trying to warm up to him first.”

“Do it soon,” Hinata says as if that isn’t the most cryptic thing ever. You have to.”

“What? Why do I have to?”

Hinata huffs a frustrated breath. “Just—trust me, okay? You wanted me to be your wingman, don’t you?”

“You’re not making any sense, weirdo.”

“S-Shut up. I’m trying to help!”

It’s hard to discern if Izumi likes you back. He treats you the same way he treated you when you first met: sweet and nice and soft-spoken, like the Shoujo male lead should act. But he’s not doing anything.

It all changes when you walk home with him in tow. I’ll walk you there, Izumi insists, even though he goes the other direction. Your silly romantic heart flutters at this gentlemanly act, but the somber air prevents you from kicking your feet over it. It’s a haunting silence—something bad is going to happen. You can almost hear the sad music in the air.

“Um,” you start to interrupt the doomed silence. “I heard that you and Koji temporarily joined Hinata’s volleyball club to help him get into the tournament. That’s really sweet.”

Izumi’s face scrunches up. “Yeah.”

You laugh softly. “Don’t be nervous. I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

Izumi tuts. “I know Shoyo will be alright. He has a good jump.”

“Really?”

“You’ve never seen it?” Izumi tilts his head. “I thought you invited Shoyo over so you could play?”

You shake your head. “No, we haven’t really had the chance to do that. You and Koji should come over, too, when we play. Maybe when school ends.”

Izumi smiles, but seems to remember something that has him frowning. “Hey. Did I tell you about it?” At your confusion, Izumi clarifies, “That I’m moving out for high school. My mom found a good school for me, but that means…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s—” Izumi isn’t staying. Is that why Hinata told you to confess soon? 

Izumi kicks at the grass. “Where are you going to study for college?”

“Karasuno. It’s where my cousin went.”

Izumi appears dejected, casting his gaze to the ground. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” You won’t be seeing each other a lot anymore, not like this, at least.

“That’s the same high school Shoyo is going to,” Izumi says. “At least you’ll have company.”

“Izumi,” you say, with a surge of determination, just as Izumi mutters your name. “Ah—you go first.”

“Y/N,” Izumi begins, blushing and rubbing at the nape of his neck. He looks charming like this: shy and boyish; you can see why it’s easy for anyone to have a crush on him. “I really like you, you know? I think you feel the same. I mean—at least that’s what I heard, so…”

“O-Oh.” You hide your face behind your hands. You peek in between two fingers just to see what his reaction is. “I have a really big crush on you.”

You don’t know what face you’re making, but Izumi takes a glance at it and blushes in a deep red. “Yeah,” he stutters. “You’re pretty and smart and nice. But—”

“But you’re moving,” you finish for him.

Izumi sighs. “Yeah.”

You breathe in the somber air, wondering if it was always meant to go like this the moment you met Izumi.

[ series taglist: @lynketa @quikhs @dazqa @hajwnidnjf @auranny @sur-i-ki @idontevenknow129 @arael-asuka @romyoia @noble-17 @lottierulez ]

hi to the people in the taglist!! would you mind telling me if the taglist works >__< thank you very much. And thank u for reading!!

[acanthawrites]

Found on quora - don’t ask me about my google searches, sometimes in the middle of a the night I just need answers.

Why do fandoms ship SasuNaru?

SHORT ANSWER: because Naruto and Sasuke's relationship is the most developed of the entire manga and because Kishimoto doesn't know how to write good female characters.

A LONGER ANSWER NEEDS TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT MORE DETAILS.

The two presumed love interests of the show, Hinata and Sakura, are more often than not, shallow lovesick girls who didn't do anything to really build up their relationship with Naruto and Sasuke. Hinata was always hidden behind a tree stalking him, keeping the distances, even when Naruto needed a friend more than anything else. She was “shy", ok, I get it, but her attitude is incredibly annoying, especially since she had such a good introduction. She could've been so much more than a cute girl serving as human shield when the narrative needed her to.

Sakura chased after Sasuke all the time, confessing her love left and right, but she never really took into account the guy's feelings towards her. When she was little, she even asked Sasuke to bring her with him to carry out his revenge plans. Naruto, even as a young boy, never contemplated such a choice, because he wanted Sasuke to be happy and healthy and he knew that, by severing all his bonds, Sasuke would've fallen into darkness and despair even further. That's the difference between the obsessive kind of love showed by Sakura and the completely selfless kind of love showed by Naruto. Even to this day, Sakura is merely chasing after her adolescent crush. She didn't even have the time to actually get to know Sasuke since, after the war, the guy was away from the village for 2 years, then when they reconnected he almost immediately impregnated her and after 1–2 yrs at best, he went MIA again, on a super secret mission that prevented him to return home even once in 9 yrs… He couldn't write trivial letters to his family, but was in contact with Naruto all the time, communicating crucial Intel for the village (sharing classified info isn't supposed to be more difficult than writing personal stuff to a wife?). Sasuke didn't even recognize his daughter's face when he saw her... So much for a beautiful love story! At least, Naruto and Hinata actually spent time together, before becoming husband and wife and after, as a family with two beloved children.

The point is: had kishimoto written his female leads a little bit better, their role as realistic love interests would've been more widely accepted and even welcomed. There's no particolar need to “ship” two male characters together, so if many people do it with this particular “couple”, is because Naruto and Sasuke's relationship is far from being the mere byproduct of trivial fetishization.

Now, clearly shonen manga aren't, usually, concerned with pairings and relationships; nobody really wanted or expected romance to be the main focus of the story, but kishimoto spent a hell of a lot of time describing in fine details the love between Naruto and Sasuke, filling the narrative surrounding them with symbolism and tropes usually found in romantic literature. Just to mention some:

Spiderman horizontal “kiss" (after Sasuke collapsed at the end of the first VOTE fight);

thinking about the other in bed, or under the starry night sky with a hand on the chest, wishing to be reunited soon;

declaring the intention of dying together;

Noticing the compatibility of fire and wind as elements that always amplify and compliment each other;

Begging on the knees, in front of the Raikage, to avoid the other’s execution;

having a full blown panic attack at the thought of the other being executed;

Never giving up on saving the other even when everybody else already did;

I could go on, but the point is:

Why did Kishimoto portray this relationship in a purposefully ambiguous fashion?

There isn't a clear cut answer even after years. It's possible that the author liked to '’troll” the audience by leaving some suggestive images here and there… Heck, he even drew a wholeass front-page with Naruto and Sasuke wearing necklaces with each other's face on them! But simple fan service doesn't cut it for me. I don't think it was just that.

Kishimoto decided to write a love story from the beginning to the end, however it was a platonic love between two people of the same sex.

It was platonic because Kishimoto never stated anything different: his original idea of making Naruto and Sasuke a couple is just fake news spread by a Spanish forum that became viral for obvious reasons.

It wasn't even a brotherly love, however, since Naruto himself said that, despite the whole reincarnations thing, he is not Ashura and Sasuke is not Indra. Their relationship is unique, infact, it didn't end in tragedy like the other ones. They didn't grew up as brothers from the start, they learned to love and understand eachother through years of suffering and pushing-pulling.

Naruto is Sasuke's most important person, his one and only… while Sasuke is for Naruto the ideal he always attempted to reach. Their relationship is perfectly balanced, because they push each other to be better, neither is the doormat of the other, while their marriages are very unbalanced, with passive and submissive wives who see them as Gods.

So in the end, this love story between two men is something bound to create confusion among the fans. Kishimoto didn't avoid to make things complicated and allusive since the very beginning of the manga (two rivals kissing is obviously just for comedic purposes, but it definitely set the tune for other events. Sasuke even remembered this kiss when he was convinced Haku had killed him, almost as it was an episode he actually gave some thought to). It's all a matter of interpretation: fans can see more than just a friendship or something different than brotherly affection because the author purposefully drew/wrote questionable situations/dialogues. However, it was never Kishimoto's intentions to make SasuNaru a canon couple. Especially since the next gen needed to be created and two gay men can't have biological children togheter anyway.

Sasuke and Naruto are soulmates and they don't need to share a carnal relationship to be the best love story of the manga.

At the end of the day, I think this was Kishimoto's plan all along (or at least since Sasuke's introduction): writing about the most powerful kind of love one can think of, capable of surviving everything, even unrelenting hatred.

People can easily see this concept as something else and I myself would've loved a NaruSasu ending, to be quite honest, but what we need to refer to, while discussing this kind of topics, is always canon material. Canonically, Naruto and Sasuke are two heterosexual males, married with children.

[artemisiavulgaris1114]

I normally don't do discourse but, I've seen some floating around and I maybe have some relevant perspectives so here's my opinion on a thing:

so I am a hella subtext girlie. ships are always painful as fuck for me (in the good way) because give me breadcrumbs and I'm HOOKED I wanna eat that whole loaf crumb by crumb!! no ez mode. that's boring. I love a nice slow burn, I'll happily gnaw my way through 50 chapters of complicated setup and character development before they even meet (and like lol maybe this is actually the problem). And I love Lucanis's romance and I'm happy with his story, the writing and the way it progressed for the most part. I'm demi so I got it and that's all I'm gonna say on that point til a bit further down.

I STILL think that the way it was handled doesn't work well with the pacing of the game, and I don't think that's down to the writing, I think it's mostly the way the game story progression was designed. I think this is true to some degree for all the romances because there's no interactivity outside of quest cutscenes and the ambient dialogue that happens right after the commitment scene. But especially for Lucanis because to me their romance is in the little details, the every day interactions as their relationship slowly deepens. That's obviously done really well in the cutscenes we get, but feels like it makes less sense in the scope of the whole story because there are a whole bunch of in-between pieces missing.

If you're going to finish everything there is to do by the end of the game, a huge chunk of the time that you spend doing quests is completely devoid of any reference to your romance. I feel like especially for Lucanis and Rook more ambient dialogue between them would have made it feel more natural and substantial, especially especially if they are both Crows. For example, the way it's handled between Taash and Harding/Lucanis and Neve feels much smoother and the development is more overt. I think being that those happen more toward the end of the game, there feels like more of a natural character development-relationship development progression as you go through their individual quests.

Like, 2-3 lines of additional unique dialogue peppered throughout the lead-up to endgame after the romance is locked in with Lucanis would have vastly improved it and helped bridge the gap, I feel. And I'm not necessarily talking about romantic interactions, just some unique dialogue to show how well they've come to know each other, how Rook understands his mind and that it helps them build trust, any sort of communication to illustrate the subtler ways they're building their bond. It's clear from Lucanis's journal that they're intended to be spending a decent chunk of their off-time together--so why is there little to no evidence of it in game other than the initial reference? There's no reactivity from Teia and Viago, which made me sad because theirs is the reaction I'd want to see the most. I've gotten lines from Neve and Taash about the romance after it's locked in, and the convo with Emmrich about gifts, but that's it as far as other companions go. Maybe there's stuff I'm missing? Maybe this is something lacking in all the romances.

And honestly as a demi person the final romance scene kinda came out of left field for me. considering it felt like not much communication had been happening leading up to it (minus the pre-endgame convo, which I'm also gonna mini-argue should be more explicit with the emotions involved from Rook's end, like the spanish translation) and understandably a lot has been going on. but I wasn't really expecting it to escalate the way it did with so little dialogue, I'm fine with it but this is one of those cases where I prefer less subtext and more text before something like that happens, actually.

I did a replay where I saved Lucanis's quests until last and that honestly felt a lot better, so maybe the pacing's just a me problem idk. I'm gonna chalk a lot of this stuff up to cut content? and maybe like, the fact that they didn't want to get too specific with Rook's ambient dialogue since they're meant to be player-driven. Going back to the companion romance comparison, it's a lot easier to write dialogue between two characters who are more specifically defined.

Anyway blah blah that's it. i'm nitpicking because overall I'm happy, so anything i feel doesn't work or is lacking is gonna be a gripe, and you can be happy and still have valid criticisms. I enjoyed the game and the writing and the characters quite a lot, and I honestly wasn't expecting to, so yay! Time to gnaw on that subtext and see what kinda creative juice comes out~

[pianocat939]

Yandere Chrollo Hcs/Mini-Story

I couldn't conceal the thoughts anymore- they were eating me up so bad. I RAMBLED. LIke this feels more like an informative thing than an actual narrative style so I'm sorry lmao. It's so unorganized too.

(The entire story is based on the fic I'm working on, but with more detail on characteristics and what not.)

Tw: brief mentions of kidnapping, implied controlling behaviour, Chrollo's character is altered but is in correlation to the past I've thought of.

MC is from Meteor City, and was Chrollo's best friend. But- They end up being kidnapped, and having retreograde amnesia. (I'm not going to go into further detail just because I don't want to spoil to anyone who is currently reading my fic) Meanwhile, Chrollo is absolutely obsessed with MC. He trusted them more than anyone, and all of the sudden they disappeared.

Chrollo, who slowly grows cold-hearted without MC, starts to resent whatever happened to them. He's desperate to know what happened to them. As he first builds the troupe (As an actual gang of thieves), his personal mission is to find MC.

Some of the troupe members know this goal he has. Especially if they were friends with MC before they were kidnapped. So they try to help him in anyway possible.

A few years of searching, the troupe manages to locate MC. But when Chrollo goes to meet them, everything just falls apart. They don't remember him at all. To him, this is devastating since he had practically devoted over half of his life to them. He becomes more unstable with his internal conflicts.

Since there's no photos or records of their memories, Chrollo repeats his fondest moments with them. He is desperate to get them to remember their friendship.

The most prominent memory he will say is the time he found a near-brand new toy and gave it to them. To which MC was grateful of his search back then. This memory is also the start of his obsession (which explains why this event in particular is the most important).

Slowly, MC manages to remember their memories with him. It takes a while, honestly. Maybe a few months. But MC is incredibly happy to see him alive and well. Only for one thing to be a downfall...

MC doesn't view him romantically at all.

Well, since MC is just barely recovering their moments they really only focus on what happened. Since they were children at that point, MC holds nothing but platonic affection for him.

Chrollo, however, is down bad for MC. He would and honestly will devote himself to their life. He doesn't care for much in his life. But he does care for the one thing that made him feel any joy. Over the years they were apart, Chrollo develops an almost glorified view of MC. He thinks they can do no wrong, and anything against them is his enemy too.

Now, Chrollo will kidnap them. No questions. Of course MC is freaking out, but once they see more old friends they know they're screwed.

Moving on to more about what Chrollo will be like with MC during captivity:

In front of the troupe members, he acts very nonchalant. He won't do any more than keep their side pressed to his or have them sit on his lap.

Alone? He's fucking insane. He'll do a lot for MC. He'll do most requests for them in a way to prove his "worthiness" to stay by their side. He wants them to rely on him so he can keep them obedient to his affections. The reason I even mention this as a worshipping characteristic of him is because back when they were children, Chrollo had friends. MC, however, was like his true best friend. The one he could trust wholeheartedly no matter what. Which I think is still left behind in his mind.

Also, while he's alone: definitely more affectionate. He tends to give lots of pecks on their face or hold them close. In his most vulnerable moments, he likes to do a few nuzzles. It's like he reverts back to being the clingy friend he was all those years ago.

In a way he's possessive. My idea of him is weird. So one side, he wants to prove his worth to MC so they'll acknowledge him as they did before. But on the other side, he wants a feeling of superiority and reliability.

He talks about fate often, mostly about the connection between the two. He'll repeat at least multiple times a week that fate has led them together just as they were before. He also loves to mention that they're his and he's theirs.

...

(OK. I'm done. I rambled so much help- it's really unorganized. Nonetheless, this is the most I've written in one go in a while. So that was fun.)

(I know I altered his character quite a bit, but that's because I altered his past as well. So it kinda goes hand in hand.)

- Celina

[caw4brandon]

How to End a Story

Stories are often told through two styles. It's either a recollection of something that has already happened. Or, it's an ongoing event happening to the character's life.

The story can be told through just one main character or multiple characters but like all stories. They have to end. Let's discuss the ending of three shows that I recently watched. (I'll try not to get into the spoilers)

- They're Not just Frogs -

< Amphibia > by Matt Braly; follows three girls; Anne, Sasha and Marcy who stole a mysterious music box that transported them into another world of talking frogs, toads, newts and other horrifying monsters.

Our main character is Anne Boonchuy who found her temporary home with the Plantars; Hop Pop, Sprig and Polly. A small family of frogs who took Anne in and helped her better understand the world. The show is good at using little segments to build the world. Such as a mind manipulation sentient spore, the divisions between the main races and the mystery behind the music box.

Story-wise, the show tried to make the flow of events happen at a nicer pace. Season 1 was used on Anne to better understand the world and how things have changed between her friends. Season 2 used that change to add another twist to their relationship. As the seasons progress, the cast slowly expands.

The show eases in the main trio and their new friends. Some episodes foreshadowed what was coming for the characters, and some felt pointless. With a cast that big, it would slow the story down but surprisingly, it felt okay.

You get to spend some time with them, learn what makes them tick, what changed them and how they felt about the current state of the story. As a person who had some regrets in life, I really liked Sasha Waybright's development. She went from someone who took charge to becoming a character who matured into a better person. Giving her time to improve, showed that she improved but is still a work in progress.

As far as the ending goes, I felt a little bittersweet. I liked that it ended and that the big arc of the main trio is resolved but I would really like to see an expansion for how they deal with all the events they went through as it was rather traumatic. Thankfully, we have fan artists for that!

- Eat This Sucka!!! -

It would be impossible to avoid spoilers when < The Owl House > by Dana Terrace was at its peak. Spoilers were happening left and right!

Context, The Owl House follows the outcast teen; Luz Noceda who was meant to go to a summer camp. On the day she was about to go. Luz got distracted by a thief who went through a mysterious door that led Luz into the Demon Realm.

The series takes on a familiar arc where the outsider; Luz learns the ways of the witches but with her own creativity and innovation. Luz also resides under the care of the Owl Lady; Eda Clawthorne, King and Hooty (The house itself)

As the seasons progress, Luz helps the other witches her age improve and come out of their shells. Importantly, she finds new friends she never had in the human realm.

The Owl House is a show of obviously coded Queer characters and individuals that don't fit with the norm. Dana is a genius that never made a big fuss over the fact that some characters are openly Queer. Although the studio; Disney tried to limit the screentime to avoid public outcry.

The show is my first-ever witness to openly Queer characters being completely normal about it instead of being preachy. Perhaps this has to do with the title; Demon Realm.

"Where the general belief of the overzealous conservatives in a so-called Good and Righteous God thinks that's where Queer people and other abnormal people belong."

The main villain; Belos tries his hardest to "purify" the realm by limiting how witches use magic and violently persecute anyone who opposes these new rules. It's a symbolic view of the Puritan tyrant. That their ways are destined to be divine when it was all a ruse to further their own personal agenda.

The show suffered a mess of developments as Disney has a strong Anti-Queer policy with their shows. But Dana, the sneaky bastard that she is. (he says affectionately) Slipped in undeniable proof that the characters are proudly Queer and the Puritian miserably fails.

The ending was pure cinema! The show uses Luz's perspective to show that kids can have their own complexities and what we may think is good may not be what is right for said person. The show also displays good values of being open to change, that it's never too late to right the wrongs and Weirdos Gotta Stick Together.

- The Freaky Friends -

We finally came to my favourite show of this batch. < Hilda > by Luke Pearson is a fun and adventurous show about a young girl who loves adventures living in a world that is brimming with magic. I would like to talk more about it but I've already covered that in [The Beautiful World of Hilda]

For the sake of this post, I'm only focusing on Season 3. The final season of the series. While the show is not as plot-driven as the latter mentions. I think there is much to be said about the breath of fresh air Hilda brings to the table.

Hilda has a special place in my heart for how she managed to bring wonder and joy into my viewing experience. This season, took on a more ominous turn where the adventures get deadlier and the stakes get higher in this little world of the blue-haired adventurer.

Season 3 was commented on by the viewers as "underwhelming and inconclusive" and that it tore its own "fan theories" apart. Personally, I loved that the showrunner revealed everything and also nothing because that's the point.

Hilda is not about a big mystery, it's a pure adventure and curious exploration of the mythology surrounding Trollberg and the rest of the world in Hilda. The feeling of fulfilment but also, melancholy that the series has ended is in my opinion, the best conclusion.

Admittedly, I didn't know how to end the post. I just wanted to get my thoughts out about these three shows and how it ended. It feels like the end of another era. A close to another chapter for animation and the stories it can tell.

These three shows; Amphibia, The Owl House and Hilda proved that animation is still taking new heights but still maintains the charm of what stories are. A good ending where the arc may be over but the adventures will still carry on.

It's been a fun and tear-jerking journey with Hilda, Luz and Anne. Their worlds are unique and brimming with excitement that I haven't felt in years and a desire to catch up more.

I'll miss them dearly but hey, such is the life of an adventurer. Don't be sad that it's over. Be happy that it happened and above all. Go make your own stories!

[kyrieeleisonelise]

Oshi-No-Ko Plot points that I think would of been more interesting than the finale we got.

Major spoilers!!! This is just for fun.

Some more development on wtf was going on with Ruby and Aqua in that last arc. There was all this build up to a super toxic/codependent/taboo relationship and it was just never explained or explored adequately. Like it feels wrong that Aqua died with Ruby still seeing him as Goro.

Maybe Aqua and Ruby coming to more of a solid understanding about their relationship to their past lives. I felt like towards the end the two of them where starting to retreat into their last identities more to hide from the trauma/stress of making the movie, I wish this was explored more.  

Just knowing anything about Aqua’s feelings towards Ruby seeing him as Gorro and a love interest would be great. His feelings on it where never really addressed.

Kana and Akane finding out about what was happening between Ruby and Aqua and helping them realising it was unhealthy, especially Ruby.

I think Akane should of worked out that Aqua and Ruby had a past life. It makes me sad that she almost fully understood them but not quite. 

Speaking of past lives. I didn’t like the crow girl backstory. I personally think Ruby and Aqua should of had a purpose to being reborn, and it could of tied in more with the story.

Idk it seems like a waste that absolutely nobody figured out about the past life thing. 

Kamiki pretending to be good lasted about 2 chapters. I would of preferred if it had of gone on for longer. I think he should of manipulated Ruby and started to build a genuine father daughter bond with her (I feel like she see’s the good in people/may accept that he got Ai killed by accident). This could be a chance to develop Kamiki more, make the reader’s trust him more, and make his ultimate betrayal of Ruby/attempt to kill her more shocking and meaningful. 

This could be a chance for Kamiki to share parts of his backstory from his own POV. 

I know Kamiki’s whole thing is manipulating others to kill, but maybe, in this instance, he could decide to do it himself. 

In the final act, I think it would of been more dramatic tension if Kamiki initially outmanoeuvred them. Ie, maybe Nino still stabbed a decoy but he went after Ruby himself, which they wouldn’t expect. It would make the stakes higher and make him seem more of a threat.

Maybe Aqua genuinely planning to kill/torture Kamiki and having to be convinced out of it by Ruby/Kana/Akane. This also could of been a chance for characters to challenge him on his belief that his purpose is to get revenge.

Honestly, just any sort of reaction from Ruby about finding her Dad and half-Brother would be great. 

Conversely, maybe Ruby not agreeing with Aqua’s plan to kill Kamiki socially, and actually trying to kill him herself. This could still work with the storyline where he eventually manipulates her into building a bond with him. 

Maybe Aqua is uncomfortable with Ruby’s feelings for him, and she takes this as rejection and it pushes her further under Kamiki’s influence. 

I kind of hate that Kana’s goodbye concert was so overshadowed by everything else. Maybe that could of been its own thing. 

Completely left-field, but maybe Kana could of been manipulated by Kamiki in some way. It just felt like after the argument with Ruby she had nothing else to do until the end of the story. She always felt removed from the Kamiki/revenge stuff.

Just a more exciting climax in general. Even something that was melodramatic or slightly unrealistic would of been better.

If Aqua had to die, I think it would of been better if the danger towards Ruby, or even one of the other girls was more immediate. Him dying not to protect Ruby’s life, but to protect her reputation as an idol just felt like such a waste of a life. If Ruby was given the choice herself, I’m sure she would chose Aqua living over working as an idol in an instant, without any second thoughts.

Aqua not dying, honestly. It’s not even that I hate tragedy, it just felt so unearned. 

[rhiaarrow]

I've seen ppl talking abt it on twitter and here and I wanted to sort of contribute my thoughts towards it,

Ppl aren't 'forgetting' about qTubbo's death. It's just that the situations of qBad and qTubbo's deaths, while they had the same outcome, were completely different for multiple factors.

(This isn't targeted at the ppl who think the death is being overlooked because that's their analysis and it's totally fair. It's just that people saying that got my analyst brain drawing comparisons between the deaths and I ended up with this big wall of text so...yeah :') )

1 - The build up (from outside POVs)

With qTubbo from most Povs he just sort of... died with no clear build up. Most ppl didn't see the true extent of his self spiralling because he hid it or they just simply didn't spend a lot of time with him in order to pick up on the stuff that we the viewers picked up on. And then all of a sudden he just died with no obvious lead up (unless you watch his pov in which case there was an obvious lead up) but from outsiders who barely saw him, it just happened.

Whereas

With qBad there was a more obvious build up on other Povs, he told the ppl he loved he was dying or at least they knew that something was wrong. They knew that his death was inevitable and as much as they hate to admit it a lot of them had already come to terms with the fact that he would be gone soon. (Again unless you watch his pov the whole build up from the past few months is less obvious but it was more developed with other players before his actual death) Most Povs at least recognised that there was something wrong with the blue spreading across his face because well...it was pretty fucking obvious

2 - The way they told people

qTubbos "I'm an egg, I only have one life left." while true sounds like a joke because well... he's obviously not actually an egg. Ppl joke abt stuff like that the whole time, the Eggboyhalo joke for example or calling Foolish 'egg coded' early in the server. How were all players meant to immediately go 'ah yes, this player is definitely an egg. Yesyes, this makes perfect sense'. It's easy to see how it wasn't taken seriously by a lot of characters when only a few of them were ever given an actual explanation besides "yeah I've only got one life"

Whereas

qBads "I'm fine, don't worry about me." while actively coughing up a lung, covered in blue infection and regularly having memory issues is an obvious lie. Even if people only saw him for a couple of minutes or even seconds it was pretty damn hard to ignore the blue spreading on his body. They'd ask what it was, he'd try to avoid it or redirect them and that person was hit with an immediate red flag of 'oh, so something is wrong with Bad.' which most shelved away and didn't actively investigate but it caused many characters to express being worried about him

3 - Outward visibility

qTubbo died due to his internal issues; self doubt, lack of self worth, suicidal tendencies, etc (I feel bad writing etc but I know there were other factors I just can't remember them) which resulted in him chosing to live using the life system and later chosing to gamble his last life in a game of Russian roulette with Richas.

(None of this being clearly outwardly visible to bystanders even if he wanted them to notice)

Whereas

qBad died due to external issues; parts of his soul physically leaking out of wounds on his body which caused his body to degenerate so far that even as an immortal he couldn't hold on and stop his corporeal body from just giving out on him and forcing him to reset.

(Which was very clearly outwardly visible despite how much he tried to hide it)

4 - The methods of their return

(Honestly I think this part is what's making ppl think that qTubbo's death is being 'ignored' compared to qBads)

With qTubbo, Creation told them that in order to 'restore' him they need smth that they CANNOT craft. Creation did not elaborate further, so they have very little to work with/very little they can actually do in order to try and help him. So most players while they have expressed they want to help, they know that if they do try to help they'll be running at brick walls because they just cannot obtain what is needed and they need to just wait for Creation to show up again.

Whereas

With qBad they know he'll be back (because he's a demon and that's just how they work) and they know what they have to do. They have to wait and be patient when he does return because he might not remember them and he'll probably need pictures to remember. He told them all of this before he died.

On one hand you have qTubbo: Wait for a prompt from Creation or an NPC to help them craft the item to get him back

On the other you have qBad: Wait for him to come back on his own terms

And for the people used to Bad providing a metaphorical example to prove his point in a clearer manner;

When playing a video game you have more hope when waiting for a loading wheel to stop spinning so you can play the level, than you do looking at a level blocked behind a currently unobtainable paywall :/

In other words, dwelling on things you don't know how to fix sucks ass and no one likes thinking about it until they have a tangible idea for a solution and right now only one of the two deaths has an even remotely tangible solution even if it is just to wait and do nothing.

(I understand that ppls reactions to qBads death have seemed more proactive than qTubbos right now but today was the first qBagi and Em learned of him actually dying so it makes sense that today was sort of centered around that. Tbh it just sucks that qTubbo died on an event day bc I feel like if he didn't we would've got a lot more focus and angst out of it but what can you do. But also it's seemed a lot more proactive because qBads kids are actively searching the server for him for 3-4 hours a day which is just depressing as hell, kudos to Pommin and Dapmin for pulling that off :') )

Wall of text over!

Have a flower for your troubles, after all our cubitos have done to us, I think we've earned some flowers without angsty connotations ;-;

❀❀❀❀❀

[masochist-marmot]

Just finished watching MHA season 7

I am not okay. I am in shambles. A shallow husk of a human being. I have exhausted all my emotions and have nothing left to give. I'm sitting right there in the middle of charred earth and ash with tears frozen on my face. I might need a hero to sacrifice themselves to stitch my destroyed heart back together.

The level of character writing in this series is amazing. I stand by my (probably controversial) take that there are some issues with pacing and setup/payoff, though I haven't read the manga so I can't tell how much of that is an issue with the adaptation. But what the show does excel at is portraying a large cast of characters with deep and diverse motivations, and it somehow manages to build on them in a deliberate, believable manner. (Let me piss off another fandom real quick: JJK could never.)

I was spoiled on the Dabi reveal before I started watching the show. In fact, that spoiler got me interested in watching it in the first place. I picked up on the tiny hints that were sprinkled in from very early on and was interested to see how they pull the reveal off. I was a little disappointed with how one-note Dabi was for the entire time up until that point, and the reveal itself was far less effective without the intended shock value. I almost wrote it off as missed potential. However, the seeds that were sown were not in Dabi himself, but the Todoroki family dynamic. Once we get to the flashbacks and eventually the grand emotional showdown, we have already gone through a character arc with Shouto, Endeavor and the rest of the family, and we have seen how All For One grooms vulnerable youth to his cause. In the present, Dabi is only fueled by hatred and revenge. In the past, we see a sad little boy who is raised to believe that his value comes from the strength of his quirk, and who is then told he can't use it (thus stripping him of his value). He's practically abandoned as a failed project, and Endeavor's misguided attempts at discouraging him by distancing himself instead of showing him he's got value beyond his strength and usefulness drives poor Touya even further along his doomed path. And this is incredibly fertile soil for All For One's grooming. It's heartbreaking. The reason Dabi is so one-note is that there's nothing else left in him. He's too far gone to be saved. We can bring the entire Todoroki family together to finally see his cries for help and acknowledgment, but it's simply too late. Sometimes it's just not possible to bring the "black sheep" of the family back from the edge of self-destruction. God, it's too real, and devastating, and narratively satisfying.

And then we have our misguided pansexual queen Himiko Toga. I was pretty neutral on Toga for most of the series, because the yandere archetype never really appeals to me. Turns out there's a lot more to her than that. For her entire childhood, she was ostracised and derided for being different and gross. I see an interesting mix of autism-coding/queercoding in how her innate ways to approach love and affection are seen as wrong and abnormal, and how she fails to conform to social norms because nobody's explaining them to her. I do like how neither allegory is one-to-one, and how it's internally consistent with how the world and Toga as a character work. Her childhood environment stunts her emotional development and leaves her with a black-and-white thinking, where you are either good or evil, cute or gross, completely accepted or completely rejected... a hero or a villain (boy, the society desperately needs reconstruction). It leaves her desperate for deep connections, and the deepest connection she can get is from becoming the target of her affection with her quirk. It's a selfish kind of affection that literally weakens the other party. At the same time, she's sabotaging her relationships by intentionally showing her ugly side and looking for signs of rejection to enforce her expectation of not being accepted for who she is. As someone who's struggled with (and, through therapy, learned to manage) traits of borderline personality disorder, I can relate to her chaotic approach to interpersonal relationships and powerful but volatile emotions. When both Deku and Uraraka very reasonably condemn her actions as a villain, she takes that as a total and complete rejection of her as a person. This is an especially heavy blow to her after the loss of Twice has brought her entire worldview into question. Then, when Uraraka reflects on this more and tries to reach out to her again, she's in full defence mode. She can't risk being rejected again, so she lashes out to keep Uraraka at an arm's length. Yet despite all the maliciousness, despite being stabbed, Uraraka fights to get through to Toga and show her that she sees the beauty in her and is willing to accept her in spite of her flaws. And then, after being properly seen and accepted by someone she loves, she's able to commit a purely selfless act of affection by giving away her own blood to keep Uraraka alive. Blood is her love language, and for once she's able to give instead of taking. It's hauntingly beautiful, and it's heartbreaking, and it closes her character arc wonderfully. (Mind you, I think their relationship would have been toxic and codependent, but I don't care. I'll be a Togachako truther from this moment until the day I die.)

This season alone had a lot of effective (and also some less effective) character moments that I won't touch on because this post is already too long and rambling. I especially have a lot more thoughts about best boi Kacchan, but I'll leave that for another day.

[zerbu]

Project Squealer BIG REVEAL

Calling all mystery buffs, adventure seekers, and gumshoe wannabes!

I am developing MY OWN INDIE GAME under the working title PROJECT SQUEALER! In this action-packed adventure RPG game, a disease called Laughter Pox has plagued the town, and it's up to three kid detectives to investigate!

These days, I'm mostly known for making mods for The Sims 4, but I've been interested in game development as far back as 2009. In fact, I originally bought The Sims 3 for PC back in 2012 as a tool to plan out characters and worlds, before becoming hooked on the gameplay. For a long time, The Sims was my main creative outlet, but I was still coming up with game ideas in the background.

Skip ahead to mid 2016: while playing with my Go to School mod, I needed to create some child characters to fill the school with. I created two rival teams of kid detectives, and came up backstories and mysteries for them to solve. I ended up liking these characters far more than any other characters I had created. They felt like my creative masterpiece, begging for something bigger than just creations made in a character creator.

That's when "Project Squealer" started brewing in my brain. This indie RPG wasn't just some vague idea; I was developing full-blown stories, environments, and gameplay planned for my kid detectives. I also had the perfect art style in my head. Emphasis on in my head.

Turns out, bringing my dream art style to life was way harder than I thought. So hard, in fact, that I spent the next few years learning how to create art. It took until 2020 to finally have character and environment art that could (almost) pass for pro-level game stuff. Not only that, the project was undergoing what indie devs refer to as scope creep. I kept adding more and more ideas to the design doc, making the game more complex and pushing the release date even further into the future. In 2018, I even decided to move from 2D to 3D, and switched engines from MonoGame to Unity (and later to Unreal Engine 5 in 2023).

Now, it's 2024, and I'm finally, finally ready to announce what I've been working on for the past 6 years!

Project Squealer is the working title for my own indie game about a team of three kid detectives: Orlo (middle), Von (left) and Zoros (right). Together, they go on adventures and solve mysteries… or at least they would, if they weren't constantly having their business stolen by a rival detective team.

In this action-packed adventure game, a mysterious disease known as Laughter Pox has plagued the town, causing people to laugh hysterically. Where is it coming from? How can it be cured? It's up to our detectives to find out! If they can convince others to trust them with such an important mission, that is!

Project Squealer uses a hybrid of 2D and 3D graphics to create a 2D cartoon look with full 3D movement. Characters and some organic objects are 2D sprites that move with the camera. Most environments, objects and buildings are 3D, but have texture-based outlines to give it a 2D look.

The game features a variety of different quests, characters, abilities, enemies, locations, weapons and items. In addition to the main storyline, you can help out NPCs by performing "errands" for them, which will unlock cool rewards and even side missions.

Unlike many RPG games, Project Squealer won't include a character level system, because I want the player to be able to progress using their own skill, not by grinding levels. One of the game's main design philosophies is that there are few, if any, permanent upgrades. Weapons will eventually break, status effects that make your stronger will eventually expire, etc.

Project Squealer is still in relatively early development. I plan to post more information, screenshots, and eventually even videos, as it gets closer to release. Follow my Twitter for quicker updates: https://twitter.com/ZerbuTabek

Your support and feedback is welcome, and will help improve the game!

[virologikal]

Headcanons posted for my works of fiction are merely my interpretation of the respective character(s) and should not be considered as "single point of truth".

⸻ 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝟏/?

Wesker will clench and unclench his left hand/fist subconsciously, similar to as is seen here.

After the Mansion Incident and infecting himself with the Progenitor Virus, Wesker eventually started needing stabilizing injections. The destabilisation of his body's ability to handle the virus started roughly around 2004, likely before or latest after the Las Plagas incident. With his abundant ressources and connections through blackmarket trading as well as building other business relations, Wesker was able to develop the PG67A/W serum, only needing low doses in wider spread out timespans at first. Only in later years he would need the injection to be administered more often.

During his time working with Excella he would eventually allow her to take care of administering the injections. Usually not trusting other people with anything even remotely important about himself, Wesker's continously increasing god-complex would lead to him rather enjoy the attention Excella gave him with her admiration, and due to him preferring to let someone serve him instead of taking care of such miniscule acts himself.

The way he clenched his fist in this scene is similar to what you do when you get your bloodwork done, and it makes sense that the injection needed to be applied to his blood instead of into tissue (faster transportation throughout the system).

Further, the injection wasn't pleasant. While it would eventually soothe whatever side effects the infection in his system caused, it had to actively fight at least part of the Progenitor Virus in order to keep it in check. That and the fact these stabilizing shots were needed at all stuck with Wesker even after the Reborn Protocol activated, subconciously bothering him, even if he wouldn't show it or even notice it.

He would eventually subcontiously connect the clenching of his fist with keeping himself in control - something that would become increasingly obvious toward the end when his emotions started getting out of control as the infection was no longer being supressed.

After the activation of the Reborn Protocol it's not so much a muscle memory (due to the technicality of the protocol) as something his mind still remembers - comparable to still feeling a phantom limb.

So whenever Wes clenches and unclenches his left fist, it's a sign of some form of anxiety/unrest/possibly anger - some form that gives away a little of his emotional situation where his face doesn't.

[iztea]

How do you get the ideas for your backgrounds?

mmm ideas.... sometimes i draw the background directly from a photo reference (the happy case) so there's not a lot for me to change and i can have a rather peaceful painting process

othertimes, the BG is tied to the subject/concept/scene I'm thinking of, so it only makes sense that i have that as the background

for example, for this fem skk art, i knew i wanted to have chuu kneeling in a crater after destroying a city so drawing that background was just a logical follow-up because i already had the entire idea in mind

Here, I wanted to have Akiangel sit on a building, watching over the city. The ominous sign with "the day of salvation" and crow came later after I found this picture on Pinterest, so they helped further develop the concept, but the main idea was there and so on

The third background option happens when my painting doesn't depict a certain irl scene or landscape, nor do i have any particular references i can use. In that situation, I first and foremost think about the general composition, the shapes, how they flow with each other, how I can tie them to my main theme and what sort of symbolism or little easter eggs i can throw in there just to keep it fresh and interesting for the viewer ( aka the person reading this aha ;;) :-* )

For this piece, i started with a big circle for the background, and then I started breaking it up in pleasing, cloud-like shapes and swirls that constantly keep your eye moving around the picture (i mean hopefully lol). The composition was inspired by a) Dazai's Mayoi card ofc, that trad Eastern illustration style with the circle and then branches of trees, and also .. kazuha's splash art ok i admit it bshsj

for this one, the roses came much, much later. Again, I added that sort of golden arcade to better frame the focal point or the main subject of the scene which was ofc her face and/or outfit. Then, since it still felt rather empty, awkward, and directionless, I tried finding a pleasing, spiral line that would compliment the already existing shapes and that would, again, move your eye all around the composition. I figured since her outfit already had those small roses stuffed in her belt, those curvy lines could become some bloody, spikey roses and boom! here are the theme and elements for you: blacks-roses-blood-deadly-sharp-gold etc. I then had her crush some of those roses in her right (ik it's the left hand shut up) hand to balance out the busier left side

and a last example, sometimes I draw multiple character poses in one piece and they sort of become my background. Yet I still have some blank spaces left so i gotta figure out a way to fill them out. Here, since the pose where he's all curled up was inspired by the TDIPUD light novel, i drew him as a "corpse" in a pool of blood, and contrasted it with some nice flowery-ish patterns and swirls that sort of come from within that bloody mess ( someone also mentioned it looks like a womb which I found very interesting as well ). The cats also helped fill out the space. On the left side, i added that swirly black sun that drips into three squares that gradually fill up with straight blackness and raindrops falling below inspired by the "a conviction that the sun will never rise again" line. I don't think I should go into detail with the symbolism cause it's pretty obvious and not that deep so i won't but yeah, and that's my BG all filled up!

I do this with most of my BGs, it's mostly just abstract shapes; I'm very fixated on making the overall composition look okay and for the piece to send a message ( most of the time ), so i don't think of backgrounds as a separate entity, they are part of an already existing idea, generally speaking.

This kinda turned into a composition discussion midway......... sorry about that....... To be completely honest with you, I have plenty of BG ideas, they kinda just spawn in my brain so i'm not exactly lacking in that department. Having to draw them and finding refs is the hard part for me

[adrianlikesdinos]

while it is funny to think and joke about, i think the genuine belief that Erik's wife and daughter were used for the main purpose of trying to erase Cherik is just such a truly awful take. there is no contextual evidence to even back up the claim, by the end of the movie Erik still choses Charles yet again.

so I'm here to present my succinct, evidence-based claim: Erik's wife and daughter only worked to further cement his and Charles shared narrative.

in the film, these two girls act as flat characters; very little information is given about them, no character development takes place, and they take up very little screentime. what they add to the films story however is a point emotional attachment outside the world of mutant vs. humans for Erik to settle into, heal, and escape from his previous life as a literal terrorist. unfortunately for die hard Cherik truthers, this means an emotional attachment out side the world Erik shares with Charles. this is a genuine attempt by Erik to remove himself from the cycle of fear and rage he has been a slave to since his childhood, and it really did all work out for him. he had a job, a community, and he was able to create a life perfectly for himself. despite needing to hide his powers, this was probably the best outcome he was ever going to achieve.

but, now that the franchises main antagonist has settled into a life of warmth and comfort, its time for the narrative to get moving again. you cant tell a story without its antagonist. yes, Apocalypse is the main antagonist for this specific movie as he is the source for the majority of the films tension and conflict, but this movie is a part of the over arching narrative primarily concerning Professor X, his X Men, and their arch-nemesis, Magneto. being each others narrative foils and their decades old disputes they are quite literally a package deal, there will never be a Professor X without his Magneto. So, what better way to pull our protagonist his literal other half into the mix than a good old fashioned fridging?

"women in refrigerator's" is a literary trope originally coined in 1999 by comic book fan Gail Simone. this term is used to refer to the trope in which a female loved one is killed, injured, or otherwise hurt in order to further the plot. the trope is one in which women are used as disposable. (there is so much more i could say about the sexism rooted in this fairly common trope but its fairly self explanatory and doesn't pertain to directly to the topic at hand.) once you actually learn about this you cant stop noticing it (ever seen a Disney movie?). it is particularly common in comic books as a heavily male dominated field of media. it is an easy, fast way to get emotion and anger out of a character and gives them the motive to fulfill whatever is needed for the story to continue. in this case, the rage born from Erik's grief lead him to join Apocalypse as one of his horse men. ultimately pushing him towards yet another fated conflict with Charles, the climax of almost any X Men film.

if the writers were truly conscious and concerned with fans perception of Erik and Charles questionably platonic relationship, they wouldn't have used a trope to sling shot the man directly back into his fandom assigned love interest. its incredibly unreasonable to claim a device clearly intended to send him closer to his other half was in an attempt to separate them.

and, claiming that his family was just an attempt to erase Cherik feels like completely ignoring Erik's past experiences with fridging that truly work to build the complexities and tragedy of their strictly canon relationship. this is the second time he has had his whole world ripped away from him. the second time he has turned to rage and violence to protect what little of himself he has left. this is the first time however that he realizes he has more than just a little broken piece of himself left. this is the first time he is able to realize there is another soul out there who can see past the rage he is blinded by. the first time he has had someone who continues to see the good in him.

and this is me looking at this from as unbiased a perspective as i can. this is hardly even subtext. Erik's flashback wasn't stuck in there just because they needed more screen time, everything holds significance. it was blatantly telling us that in that very moment Erik realized he still had Charles, the one person who can actually claim to know someone, the one person who genuinely knows HIM.

[ronwestbreeze]

TO YOU , WORLDS AWAY : PART ONE : CHAPTER FOUR

pairing: jake sully x human!fem!reader

summary: in which you go back to hell's gate for a check-in

warnings: mentions of su*cide

word count: 2.8k

author's note: i like going into character backgrounds and relationships with others so that's gonna happen a lot in this fic along with developing jake and reader's relationship, hope y'all don't mind!

AO3 | prev | next

“It’s Quaritch.”

Grace’s voice cut through your otherwise quiet lab, rattling you out of your peace by uttering just one name.

“Why?” Was what left your lips first.

Grace closed the door and walked further into your lab before continuing, “Check-in. He’s been doing it monthly, ever since we came to Site 26. Jake’s the one who’s been usually reporting back to him.”

You moved your designs for Project Pandora to the side and out of her sight when she got closer. “What’s changed?” You turned to look at her with furrowed brows before switching to Na’vi, “Is he not his puppet?”

She frowned, giving you one of her scolding parent looks, “He’s changing.” Her scowl hardened when you rolled your eyes before continuing. “And I know you’ve seen it too. And if the both of us have noticed then Quaritch has bound to as well. Why else is he asking for you instead of Jake?”

“Probably to torment me. Let me know that I’m somehow still under his control.” You glared down at your hands that were now clenched together.

“Like a puppet?” Grace asked gently. You didn’t respond. She took another chair in the corner of the room and pulled it up next to you. “Tinkers, listen to me. You gotta stop letting him get in your head.”

“I could say no.” You mumble instead, eyes still on your hands. “That I won’t meet him. Send him a big middle finger while I’m at it.”

Grace snorted, “As much as I want that—and believe me, I do—something tells me we shouldn’t mess with things—”

Your jaw clenched and you shook your head sharply, “If I continue to go back there, to be summoned by him like some lapdog, then I am no better than those soldiers that continue to follow him!”

Grace went quiet as you fought back tears.

No matter what you did to try and move on, to try and not think about it, that night still played over and over again in your mind. Appeared in your dreams—barely sleeping now because of it—it was all still fresh. Like it happened only yesterday instead of two years ago.

You held your head in your hands, tears now streaming down your face, throat closing up as you let out shaky and strained sobs.

“I could’ve stopped him, Grace. I could’ve convinced him—”

“No, no.” The scientist shook her head firmly, grasping your hand tightly in hers. “None of what happened is your fault. Do you hear me?” She then grasped your face so you were looking at her.  “Don’t ever blame yourself for what happened. That was on Quaritch and the RDA, not you.” Her thumbs wiped at the tears as she continued in a quieter voice, “We can’t keep living in the past, kiddo. Especially, when the preset is constantly changing before us.”

You nod, sniffling. It took a few minutes for you to calm down. Grace waited right next to you. Her hand resting on your shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze every now and then. It was a comfort, her presence always was. Until you met Grace Augustine, you never truly knew what a parent’s love was. Not really.

Your mother was always busy building her legacy in science, making sure to make a solid name for herself so that she’d earn great respect. To be looked at in the same light as her other successful male colleagues. There wasn’t anything wrong with that, in fact you admired her greatly for it and it always inspired you to do the same. But the chance of being a mother was never in the cards for her. She was always too busy and worked herself to an early grave. You were sixteen.

Then there was your father. A respected military captain and a longtime friend of Miles Quaritch. Shot himself in the head in his bedroom while you were downstairs, oblivious until the nanny found him hours later. You were nine.

In your father’s letter, he had asked for Quaritch to take you in and help your mother take care of you, to have a father-like figure in your life. You had to laugh at that, really. The damned bastard wasn’t even taking care of his own kid, a fucking baby at that, and yet your father expected him to do the same for you? It was ironic, really.

Quaritch did for a while. Wasn’t perfect at it but he was all you had, so who were you to complain in the beginning.

Then the shut down of Grace’s school happened and it felt as if you had been abandoned all over again.

But Grace found you. She’d always find you.

You chuckled pathetically, wiping at your eyes. “You really don’t have to take care of me like this. I know I can be a lot.”

“Hey, someone has to keep your genius intact. Otherwise who else would be able to keep up with my own genius?” Grace smirked, shaking your shoulders.

With a snort, you smacked her hand away and stood. “I’ll see him.” Grace watched you cautiously and you nodded confidently to yourself. “Yeah, I’ll do it.” Just as you grabbed your mask and radio, you turned back to the redhead woman as she got up as well. “What do you want me to tell him?”

Both of you exited your lab. Norm was sitting next to the link bed where Jake was currently about to get linked up in. Upon the men both noticing you both, Grace switched to Na’vi, “Tell him we’re making progress, nothing more. And if he starts asking questions, just be you and piss him off.”

You frown, “If I do that, he might raid my lab and shut us down.”

“Then find any reason to end the conversation before he starts pushing.” Grace sighed.

“I’ll try, I guess.” You started messing with the radio.

“Where are you going?” Jake asked, as you tried calling Trudy through the radio to pick you up.

With a shrug, you said as you gripped the mask tightly in your other hand, “Well, apparently his little puppet isn’t cutting it anymore, so Quaritch wants to see me.”

Jake straightened, staring at you with a mixture of disbelief and perhaps worry, “Wait, what? What does he want with you? Why didn’t he just request to see me like he always does?”

“What do you mean by puppet?” Norm asked instead, glancing between you and Jake curiously. “Is that like some strange sexual innuendo that I’m not getting?”

You roll your eyes and decide to focus on the radio as Grace replies instead, “Norm, you think you can take over lessons for Jake today?”

“Yeah, sure.” You heard him mutter while the radio came to life with Trudy’s voice.

After a few minutes of conversation, you finally turned back to the others, “Trudy will be here in twenty. She’s sending a helicopter.”

“Doc.” Jake called, trying to catch your eye. When you allowed yourself to meet his gaze he spoke to you softly in Na’vi. “Are you sure about this?”

You try not to look impressed, “You’ve gotten better, Puppet. But of course it’s because of me , so I’m not surprised.” Making a joke and forcing a smile was what kept you from breaking down into tears again.

Fortunately, Grace changed the subject, “Come on, Marine. Time to get going. I’m sure she’s waiting on you.”

Reluctantly, after breaking gazes, Jake finally lied down as Grace got him linked up.

Norm turned to you, brows raised curiously, “Why does the Colonel want to see you?”

You sighed, “Honestly, I really don’t give a shit.”

“Atta girl.” Grace grinned.

The cafeteria was empty save for you and Quaritch. He was already sitting when you entered and sat down at the table with him. You always felt small around him, like you were still this little girl looking up at him, intimidated by him. Instead of allowing him to see that, you willed your face into a blank mask and frowned at him, waiting for him to ask the questions.

“Corporal tells me you’ve been doing a good job training him.” He hummed casually, crossing his bulky arms. “I trust that means things are going well then?”

You shrugged, “I suppose. But that’s up to the Na’vi to decide if he’s one of them. Not me.”

He snorted while leaning back in his seat, “Well then what’s takin’ them so long? Those paranoid fuckers have no reason not to trust him, right? So what’s the hold up?”

“They won’t just let anyone into the clan.” You tried reasoning through gritted teeth. “It’s bad enough they don’t trust us as it is—with good reason—imagine how it would look if we were to rush their process.”

For a few moments, he watched you in both observation and disbelief. You waited, not once breaking his stare. If you were to look away, then he would know you were holding something back, hiding from him. He has a way of picking you apart. Sometimes.

“Why is it that you defend those savages? Over your own race?” Quaritch asked you as if it was a difficult concept to believe, almost as if you had betrayed him and he was trying to understand why that was.

He didn’t know what betrayal was. Not yet at least. But perhaps you had betrayed him long ago, ever since you first thought up Project Pandora.

“This isn’t our home.” You say simply, noticing his jaw tightening as you said that. “We are the trespassers. We are the infestation to them. Demons. We’ve practically destroyed parts of their home. It’s no wonder they don’t like us.”

Quaritch still watched you, keenly. “And are you filling Jake Sully’s head with this nonsense? Is that why Dr. Augustine had him carted away and out of my reach, so you all can fill his head with horseshit? Turn him against me?”

“Is that why you asked me here?”

 “I’m just lookin out for you, kiddo. Wouldn’t want you ending up on the wrong side of this war.”

Your brows furrowed, “You think there’s going to be a war? Why would there be war?”

Quaritch shrugged, “Depends on Sully. If things go our way, then we can avoid any more mess that could possibly come if it doesn’t go our way.”

Depends on Sully? What did that mean? Was there more to why Quaritch tasked Jake to infiltrate the Omatikaya? Of course you always suspected there was but you never really had enough to go on. But now that Quaritch was alluding to it, whatever he asked Jake to do, now you were worried. Now you were angry.

“Do you even care about me?”

The question threw him off, even you were startled by it. It wasn’t what you initially wanted to say but this somehow slipped out instead of the angry rant you wanted to throw his way.

Quaritch then glared, “That’s not what we’re here to talk about—”

But you kept going, “Do you care about anything other than yourself or your obsessive need to take over a planet that doesn’t even belong to you? Do you even care for your newborn son—”

“That’s enough, Doc—”

“You never talk about him. So I just assumed he was dead or that you just didn’t give a rat’s ass about him—”

“I said that’s enough—”

“You claim you’re trying to look out for me, that you don’t want me on the wrong side of the war. Is that you actually trying to be some type of father or am I just another obstacle in your way—”

The slam came before you saw his hand hit the table.

“ENOUGH!”

Quaritch was now standing, scowling down at you. Yu refused to be afraid of him, you refused to cower away. The tears in your eyes was that of anger, not fear. You hoped he knew that. Though, you weren’t entirely sure if you were trying to convince him or yourself.

He pointed at you calmly, “I’m not your father, kid. Your father is long dead. And you are a grown woman. If you want to be reckless and get yourself fucking killed then so be it. I won’t even fucking blink. You hear me?”

Your silence made him falter. Your glassy eyes made him look away from you.

The silence was deafening. Quaritch paced away, back now facing you.

“You are dismissed.”

This was a bad idea. You knew this. And yet you still came anyway. For Grace, for the Avatar Program, hell even for Jake.

You just hoped it was worth it. You really did.

When you got back Jake was still in the link bed. Norm seemed to have a better attitude these days and was helping Grace out. She must’ve given him a talk and it seemed to have worked out for the better.

You were quiet and didn’t bother to say anything when you arrived back. Grace noticed your change and immediately ordered you to the back where the beds were. You would’ve protested and said you would be better keeping yourself busy in the lab but Grace insisted. Norm didn’t ask any questions. Thank Eywa for that.

So now, you were just lying in bed either staring at the ceiling lost in thought or trying your very best to not doze off to sleep. Really, as soon as your head hit the pillow—one you hadn’t touched in weeks—your body instantly felt like taking a long overdue rest.

Usually you have avoided any type of sleep, scared of revisiting the same nightmares you’ve been having for two years now. But perhaps this time you would allow it to come. You would not fight it.

Really, fighting was the last thing you wanted to do at that moment.

“You’re back.”

You turned your head to find Jake entering the room, rolling toward the beds himself. You gave a tired smile in return, “I’m back.”

Jake tilted his head, eyes narrowing, “Have you been crying?”

There wasn’t a point to lying but there also wasn’t any point in admitting he was right either. Instead, you buried your face into your pillow and mumbled out a “Maybe.”

For a while, the two of you didn’t say anything. You heard him roll up next to your bed but you refused to look at him, knowing that if you did you’d probably cry all over again. Crying in front of him was the last thing you wanted to do, especially when you didn’t know where you stood with him right now.

Was he on your side? Was he still working with Quaritch? You thought you knew the answer before. But now…

A larger hand came to rest on the side of your head, surprising you so much you allowed yourself to look up from your pillow to meet Jake’s eyes. And see his face contorted into what looked like anger.

His hand was warm and his thumb gently wiped at the corners of your eye before caressing the side of your cheek. And then he spoke in a lowered voice.

“Next time, I talk to him.” You furrow your brows. His thumb gently rubbed around your cheek. “Alright? I go, not you.”

You wanted to ask him then and there.

Who’s side are you on? And should I trust you?

But you trusted Grace. And she believed he was changing.

So, you have to believe it too.

You weaved your fingers with the hand resting against your cheek and closed your eyes, “I can take care of myself, you know.”

He chuckled, his cool breath fanning against your eyelashes as he did. You hadn’t realized he was that close until now. “Believe me, I know. But I got myself involved with him. It’s my job to handle Quaritch. That includes keeping you away from him.”

Now it was your turn to chuckle, “Since when do you care what Quaritch does to me?”

There was pause before you heard him utter quietly, barely audible.

“He made you cry.”

You kept your eyes closed and your hand on his. If you were to move, this moment would be gone. Possibly never come back, never addressed again.

Right now you wouldn’t think about that. All you focused on was the now.

Just as you were slowly dozing off, Jake spoke, “Tomorrow Grace’s taking her avatar out to the village.”

“Mmm.”

“You should come.”

A smile tugged at your lips, “I haven’t used mine in a while. M’could be too rusty.”

You heard him laugh softly, “I can show you the basics. I’m sure you’re probably better at navigating it than me….”

Jake stopped when he noticed the way your breaths slowed down in a steady pace and how your eyes were now fluttering close with your grip on his hand loosening.

Smiling softly, he carefully took his hand away from your face and instead pulled the blanket over your body.

He sighed while looking at your sleeping form.

“What are you doing to me, Doc?”

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