#all that needed me to be fixated on was people cosplaying them in my area and performing like drag queens

[daneol]

I LOVE THESE TWO SM AHHH i attended a con literally yesterday and saw two cosplay duos COSPLAYING THEM IN MY CITY AND LEGIT ONE OF THEM PERFORMED ON STAGEEEE AHHHHHH it sparked my interest for velvet so baddd (and esp veneer)

[hellfire--cult]

Eddie Munson x Cosplayer!Fem!Reader

18+ MDNI sexual tension and possible smutty filthy part 2 for this

I just needed to show my nerdyness with all of you and I can assure you that Eddie would get fixated with a cosplayer, and much more if she dresses of the stuff he likes.

I will link pictures of the stuff I mention that you people might not know of, but I put descriptive information to the outfits and cosplays.

Plot: Eddie hates conventions, never went to one even, but a certain cosplayer changes his idea of it.

remember to reblog pls thank u.

Cosplay for me

Eddie Munson was never a person to go to conventions.

He never went to one before, in his life. He was never interested in them, but it was because he believed it was too crowded and he was told many times that there is always a putrid smell from sweat. Of course, there’s also memes about it online, so he always thought conventions were dirty, and he decided to never go to one.

That is until Mike Wheeler falls sick and Dustin has an extra ticket for Indiana Comic-Con. Dustin knew there was absolutely no chance with Steve, and Mike was the only one of the bunch that had his license. Eddie always cursed at Dustin for not having a driving license at the ripe age of 18, but the younger man always says he doesn’t really like the idea of driving. 

So he makes everyone chaperone him around.

That’s why Eddie was now in line to go into the building with a very excited Dustin Henderson next to him.

“There’s so much DnD stuff in here Eddie… There are limited editions of stuff too, like figurines with lots of discounts on anything you like!” Eddie just rolls his eyes at his friend, wanting anything but to look at stuff in the stands. 

“You told me that already…” He looked around to see the different types of crowds. You had kids, adults, teenagers and even elderly. He was surprised to see a couple dressed up as Leia and Han Solo and that’s when he noticed the amount of cosplayers that were there. Some of them you could guess it was their first one, and some were extremely detailed, surprising Eddie completely. 

When they finally got inside, Eddie tilted his head with confusion as he thought everything was going to be crowded, but it was very spacious and there were many areas of the different stands, people actually having some respect to not push through to look at stuff. He looked at Dustin who was mesmerized as he looked all around and then his eyes widened as he spotted the sponsor he wanted to show Eddie.

“Look Eds!” Eddie looked at where Dustin was pointing at and his eyes widened as he looked at the stand that was filled with DnD figurines, dice, boards, and everything you could possibly get for the game to be even more thrilling. He was magnetized towards it and he had to hold himself back as he looked all over the merchandise. He settled for a squishy 20 dice that looked cool with all the red and black swirls and then for a resin one that had liquid inside and a moving ball with sparkles in the middle.

“Fucking sick…” Dustin smiled at his friend as they kept walking to the other stands. Eddie was not that excited for the rest of the things his younger friend was showing him, but he couldn’t deny that the small businesses made stuff that official merchandise doesn’t have. He looked towards the Netflix sponsor that was in the crowdest part of the building, frowning at it.

“What are you looking at?” Dustin asked as he followed Eddie’s gaze to see what he was staring at.

“I don’t know, something about a new show being aired soon. Didn’t catch its name. Something about things.” He shrugged as he kept walking and Dustin followed right behind. The next part Dustin was excited to see was the gaming area. 

Eddie didn’t have enough money to get a nice gaming pc, but it was decent enough, so he didn’t mind going into that area to look at the new releases and the many components you could buy for your PC. His eyes caught onto a large mousepad that had the eye of Sauron in the middle of it and he didn’t even hesitate when he purchased it. Dustin bought a new gaming mouse for himself and they left the area contently.

“You still hate conventions?” Dustin asks with a wiggle of eyebrows as they head outside for Eddie to have a smoke. The metalhead rolls his eyes as he puts down his bags to get a cigarette in between his lips and light it up, blowing the smoke into the open air.

“It does smell weird Dustin… One time is enough for me.” Eddie says and Dustin could only sigh at how hopeless his friend was. He really thought Eddie would like going to a convention with him because Eddie was into all of this stuff. 

“Really? Nothing appealed to you?”

“It’s the same sh–” And his eyes caught sight of something white that was walking through the crowd. His heart got caught in his throat as he saw the most beautiful thing he’s seen this whole day and nothing could beat it. The long white hair falling down her back, the elf ears picking out of it on the sides, the elf silver crown over her head, the white dress falling down her body as she kept walking.

Galadriel. From Lord of The Rings.

“Eddie?” Dustin followed his gaze until it finally landed on the Galadriel cosplayer, making him smile proudly. “Oh, that’s actually a famous cosplayer.” 

“What?” Eddie snaps his head towards Dustin and the younger boy keeps nodding and he finally says your real name. 

“She is very good with her fantasy themed cosplays. Here, I’ll give you her instagram.” Eddie didn’t even doubt it for a second as he handed Dustin his phone in order to look you up. His eyes bulged out of his skull as he browsed over your profile. 

There were armor cosplays, DnD cosplays, Legend of Zelda cosplays, some a little more explicit than the others, but it wasn’t bad. He gulped as he stared at one of your League of Legends cosplay. You were dressed as Miss Fortune, and your cleavage was making your breasts really pop out from the edges. He was almost drooling and he remembered he was with Dustin, hitting the follow button and remembering to keep stalking your profile later on. 

You were taking pictures with people and Eddie noticed how you were acting exactly like the character you were cosplaying as. Graceful and calm. Dustin laughed when a group of men, dressed as hobbits, ran over to you to take a picture and Eddie couldn’t help but smile as you all stood in character for the picture. He was amazed at the dedication which was even more than just putting a costume on. 

“Does she always go to conventions?” Eddie asks his friend and Dustin caught onto it, knowing Eddie had finally found something that interests him in the event. 

“She’s always invited. I said she was famous. She has a stand most likely if you want to go meet her and get a picture…” Dustin tries and Eddie immediately shakes his head, taking a puff out of his cigarette. 

“Nah, I’m good.”

He probably spent a good hour stalking all of your photoshoot pictures when he got home. 

He noticed that you also cosplayed stuff from many games and movies, and he almost died when he saw you in a Tomb Raider costume. You had over 52k followers on Instagram, and now he understood why Dustin said you were famous. You were a Cosplay Influencer, but you seemed genuine in your stories, and he couldn’t help but smile as you reposted many stories of people that took a picture with you as Galadriel. 

He kind of cursed at himself for not being able to be brave enough to get a picture with you. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Dustin… Though he kind of knew that his younger friend realized that he had hearts eyes for you the moment you walked out in the court. 

He wondered if he would ever have the chance to meet you, maybe even help you in a way. That’s when he saw the donation button in your Instagram page. It said that you were grateful for everyone’s collaboration and that every penny goes into her cosplays and into the fundraiser for Kids with Epilepsy she donates to. Eddie wondered if that was indeed true, because many influencers lie about that stuff.

For some reason though, he really did believe you had a kind soul.

So he donated what he could afford, which was only five dollars– but it was something.

He didn’t have to wonder if you were a kind soul for long. There was an Anime Convention being held in a couple of weeks, and you posted in your feed that you were invited and was going to have a stand to sell prints of your pictures and get to know everyone that wanted to take a picture with her. 

It was a coincidence that Dustin had another free ticket this time saying that he thought Mike liked anime, but it turns out that he didn’t and now he didn’t know what to do with that extra ticket. Eddie wasn’t going to pass the chance and took it without a second thought in mind.

He wasn’t a fan of anime, but the amount of ass and tits that he saw as he entered the building was insane. He knew there were very explicit animes out there, but what he didn’t know was that people dared to cosplay them in public. He almost wanted to cover Dustin’s eyes, often forgetting that his friend is no longer fourteen years old. 

“Holy fuck…” Eddie mumbles out as his eyes went from breasts, to asses, to another pair of breasts–

“Yeah, this is what you’ve been missing out on all these years. I told Steve to come so many times because trust me, I know he would love it.” Dustin chuckles as Eddie follows suit. He knew that Steve was a flirt, and yes, he was stupid for saying no to Dustin. Screw him now because Eddie was the one to always second Dustin to conventions now.

“I don’t know anything about what they’re dressed as…” He points at a few girls that are dressed with very tiny strings and underwear with a lot of plastic armor around them. “But fuck that’s hot.”

“That’s Kill la Kill.” 

“Dustin… I don’t care…” Dustin couldn’t help but laugh, nodding at Eddie to keep moving. He kept walking as his eyes couldn’t stop looking all over the place, not looking at where he was going, only for him to run into someone, plastic crashing onto his chin as he yelped in pain and stepped back in order to hold it. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” A muffled voice says, and he looks at the person he ran into, only to see a girl dressed in a black tight motorbike suit that fits her body like a glove. The zipper on her chest was pulled down slightly for her cleavage to show and he almost kept his stare there, but he snapped out as the girl moved and his eyes looked up to see her wearing a yellow cat bike helmet, a very black visor at front and the cat ears pointing up. Eddie can pretty much guess that’s what hit his chin.

“Yeah, don’t– Don’t worry about it.” Dustin immediately got in between them both and handed his phone to Eddie.

“Holy shit, your Celty cosplay is so perfect! Can I have a picture with you?” A muffled giggle was heard behind the helmet and she nodded. Eddie got the camera app out on Dustin’s phone as the girl and him got in position for the picture and Eddie almost laughed at how Dustin was taking his tongue out as she poked his cheek with her black latex glove. Eddie took the picture and handed the phone to Dustin.

“Thank you! And sorry again pretty boy!” She says to Eddie and he was taken aback by how straightforward she was as she skipped away. 

“I love that character, and her cosplay was fucking spot on.” Dustin looked at the picture with a smile to his face and put his phone back into his pocket. Eddie believed that taking pictures with cosplayers that were just minding their own business as they walked was a little bit embarrassing, but they didn’t seem to mind, but kind of seemed delighted by it. Dustin explained to him that cosplayers don’t have to be bothered if seen eating or resting, or if you see them heading for a bathroom. 

Eddie nodded in acknowledgement at that as they kept walking, and he watched Dustin purchase many figurines from animes he liked, and Eddie wasn’t going to lie but there was a particular figure he found interest in. It was a demon looking guy with big black wings, an apple in one hand and he was hunched over.

“Who’s this?”

“That’s Ryuk, he’s from Death Note. I told you to watch that one, you will like it.” Eddie hums in approval, and he acknowledges Dustin’s recommendation noting to watch that later. 

When he finally reaches the cosplayer gallery… His jaw almost drops to the floor. 

There stood that Celty cosplay girl only this time, her helmet was off. 

You were smiling as you signed pictures of yourself as people purchased them from your stand. He cursed at himself for not knowing it was you the person he ran into an hour ago because if he knew, he would have gotten a picture with you as well. 

“Wanna go say hi to her?” Dustin asks as he smirks up at his friend and Eddie just scoffs, shaking his head.

“No. She is just your typical internet influencer, asking for donations for–” He blinked in surprise when he saw a few people walking over to you with shirts that said something in the back. You were smiling wildly as you excitedly talked to all of them. All of these people were grown adults, a few elderly ones, and when he squinted his eyes he could see what the shirts said in the back.

��Epilepsy Foundation’

They were all purchasing prints for you as you tried to decline it, not wanting these people to buy stuff from you as you shook your head. They all still purchased a picture for you, and then when they all got together for a picture that another cosplayer helped take for all of you, he saw these people with bands over their foreheads that said your name. Eddie’s heart warmed immediately as he saw you wiping a tear away as these people clapped for you. There wasn’t a camera on sight to catch that moment, making it more intimate and more genuine.

“Dustin… I think I fell in love.”

Eddie became a fan.

He knew it and he didn’t care. You were kind, amazing, beautiful and selfless. He was waiting for the next convention to happen in town knowing there were a few ones that were small, just for the people around the area. He also donated any time he could, even if it were two dollars, or three, maybe sometimes ten, but it was always something. 

He was now laying on his bed, scrolling through tik tok and that’s when he got the notification of you going live on Instagram. His eyes almost bulged out of his skull and he immediately, desperately, pressed onto the notification, directing it straight to your live. He almost sighed out in happiness as he saw your face coming onto the screen. There was little to nothing of makeup on your face and he was just mesmerized as you greeted everyone.

He deliberated if to say hi to you or not. He gulped as he typed out a small ‘Hey’ and a smiley face which made him cringe and delete it. Would it be too cold? He wasn’t believing that you would see it anyways, so he just sent it like that. You were still greeting people and your eyes perked up suddenly.

“Oh, hi Eddie! Thank you for donating all this time, I am grateful for that!” 

He couldn’t believe it as he quickly sat up on his bed. His heart was in his throat as he stared at the screen completely speechless. You acknowledged him. You noticed his username is the same one he uses for the donation app. You know about him and… Fuck did he have cringey photos in his instagram feed? He knows he has one with Steve and then one with Dustin but he doesn’t know if–

What makes him think you stalked his instagram page? He shook his head at the thought and took a deep breath in as he typed in another message. You were talking about your upcoming events and he pressed send to his message.

‘Hopefully I have the balls to ask for your picture this time.’

Another message he doesn’t think you will see with over five hundred people watching your live, and that thought was proved wrong once more when you giggled as you fake gasped with a hand over your chest.

“Am I that scary? Also, how’s your chin?” 

Eddie’s jaw fell open, instantly. Holy fucking shit. Holy flying fuck. You remembered him. You remembered him from when he ran into you with Dustin a month ago… You stalked his instagram profile. You did. You obviously fucking did. It seems that you noticed your mistake because he saw how your face flushed as you tried changing subject back to the next event you will be attending. 

He was speechless right now. He was sure that there were many people donating hundreds, way more money than he was able to give out, yet you noticed him for some reason? What does it mean? Why does he feel hopeful? What for? He gulped as he looked at the screen, and confidence rose up in his chest as he wrote the following message.

‘You forgot to kiss it better.’

And his confidence only grew when you responded to him again with a smile to your face.

“Well, remind me of that at the next con.”

He was pissed. 

He was extremely pissed. 

He was being dragged here and there at the convention because it wasn’t just Dustin this time. Mike and Will came along and he didn’t want to leave them alone because they were acting like little kids all over again, going from stand to stand, from game to game, and all Eddie wanted to do was to rush towards the Cosplayer Alley to be able to meet you. 

“I am hungry.” Mike voices out as he doesn’t even ask for the group’s approval as he walks out to the food court that was outside. Eddie groans heavily as his anger just keeps raising up, and he gets the cigarettes out of his pocket and tells Dustin to just stay put at the hot dog stand. He walked away from the tables people were sitting at eating just to be respectful for the smoke and then, when he was about to light up his cigarette, a small voice was heard from behind him.

“Hey… Can I have a smoke?” 

He turned around to clash eyes with colored lenses that were in a blue tone. White hair dripped down again, but this time a half braid was around the head and towards the back. A white dress that had black dragon wings at the torso that held a white cape over her shoulders. 

“Well shit, I can’t believe Daenerys Targaryen is asking for a smoke.” Eddie was surprised he could make a joke as you finally giggle, a smile spreading over your lips, walking closer to him. His hands were shaking as he held onto his pack and opened it for you to take one stick out. You put it on your lips and he raised the lighter up as you leaned forward to light the cigarette up. After a long inhale, you finally let it out, a curtain of smoke filling the air above you.

“Yeah… This costume is… doing something today and I needed to relax a bit.” You say shyly as you look down towards the floor. Eddie’s heart was beating out of his throat, taking a drag out of his own cigarette this time as he looked at you. He looked behind him to see a beverage stand, licking his lips as he squinted his eyes and then back at you.

“You want a beer?” He didn’t even know if you liked beer, but he felt cupid shooting another arrow towards his chest when you looked up at him excitedly with a nod. 

“I would like that…” You both walk to the stand to get a can of beer each, and you giggle as you guide Eddie to move to the back of the stand so that no one could see you in your cosplay having alcohol and smoking.

“So secretive.” Eddie says and he didn’t even care if the others couldn’t find him anymore. Hell, they can get lost and he will most definitely ditch them if it meant to have a moment with you alone. You giggle as you squinted slightly at his face, biting your bottom lip in thought.

“What’s… your name?” You asked it with a hint of doubt behind it but Eddie didn’t notice it, or didn’t think too much of it.

“I’m Eddie–”

“I KNEW IT!” Eddie's heart jumped out of his mouth at your scream, his eyes widening as he looked at you who was looking at him with the brightest of smiles. “I knew it was you! You are Eddie!”

“I mean, I am Eddie…” His confidence was skyrocketing again. You remembered him, definitely, from his face to his hair, and you even recognized him from just instagram pictures, which only led Eddie to wonder… How many times have you looked at them?

“The guy who doesn’t dare to take a picture with me.” You smirk as you take a sip of your beer while looking at him. He scoffs as he rolls his eyes at you, but happiness was just blossoming inside of him as he looked at you.

“I do dare, I just don’t do this convention shit so I was embarrassed at first.” You hum at his words, taking a drag out of the cigarette. 

“If you don’t like them, why do you attend?” You ask him with a tilt of your head, completely confused by his response. He was speechless, his worst stumbling out of his mouth as he thought of an excuse other than just blurting out ‘Because of you’.

“M-My buddy always needs someone to accompany him… For support.” At that you made an ‘Oh’ sound, giving him a nod in understanding.

“The guy that I took a picture with when I smashed your chin?” You ask with a giggle and he felt like dying at the sound of your lovely voice. He chuckles, nodding down at you as he takes a sip of his beer.

“Yep.”  You seemed like you wanted to say something to him but you held back, taking a sip out of your beer and Eddie could feel you ogling him over your cup. He wanted to ask the gods above if this was a trick of theirs, a stupid joke or a trial he had to go through because it wasn’t possible that a girl like you was looking at him with desire. It was impossible.

“Really… Then why did you come here if your friend… is with friends?” You were smirking now as he snapped out of his trance and you gave him a nod towards his back, making him turn around only to see Dustin laughing along with Mike and Will as they sat on a table eating their corn dogs. He winced in embarrassment as he turned to face you again.

“I am their ride.” He lied. He offered to be the ride. Mike told him there was no need, but Eddie refused. 

“And you are drinking?” 

“One beer isn’t going to kill me.” Eddie replies back and you were now looking at him, a small smile on your lips and Eddie had one thought only at that moment. One that he never thought of having. A thought that just came to him and now he realizes it has been a fantasy ever since he saw you.

He wants to fuck you in one of your cosplays.

“Oh… thought you were coming to finally ask to take a picture with me.” You say in a sultry tone as you took a drag out of your cigarette and Eddie immediately felt the tension growing between the two of you. He licked the inside of his bottom lip as he looked down at you. A smirk spread on his lips and he noticed how you straightened up, a small step forward going towards him. 

You were pure in his eyes, doing all this cosplay stuff, doing charity, being incredible with the people that followed you, but he never thought you would ever look at someone like him like this. He never thought you would be this willing at the first interaction you had with him… But if he was reading the signs right, and if he was daring enough, he might get to fuck Daenerys Targaryen. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday. So might as well–

“I actually came here to ask you for your picture… and a date.” 

And Eddie’s heart was taken away once more as you smirked at him, taking another step closer to him and you responded in a low and seductive tone that sent shivers down his spine and adrenaline started rushing inside of him. 

“I’m free after the event.” He took another step closer to you, and he noticed the intake of breath you took in, making him grin widely.

“Yeah, I think you promised to kiss it better… Didn’t you sweet girl?”

idk man, i just couldn't stop writing this, acknowledgement to all my cosplay girlies out there.

Smutty part 2? Let's hear at what Eddie should fuck her in.

[angry-weeaboo-rants]

I'm not really here to fight about who's more woke but if you have a Voltron icon and you are mad at me for getting excited about Hetalia because you find it racist and homophobic, I don't know what tf to tell you. Like just don't interact with me if you don't wanna see Hetalia, it's not that hard. Don't pretend that my choice in poorly dubbed cartoons is worse than your taste in cartoons where the script and plot writing was done in English with the intent of saying exactly what it said.

Also, all fandoms are toxic as fuck in a lot of areas. You can try to talk about how the fans of the show are just gonna be racist, but y'all pretend there aren't racist ass people in other fandoms and you LOVE pretending that it's what the majority of the fandom is as if we haven't been making our own canon divergent content for YEARS. The MHA fandom has people recoloring skin to make characters "more pretty." The Voltron fandom had people literally threatening content creators over ships. Should I even START with how racist fans in the cosplay community can be just bc the idea of a character being black makes them upset? And yes, the Hetalia fandom has had some people who glorify nazis but literally anyone who glorifies nazis probably didn't need an anime to start being racist. Just like in your respective fandoms, shitty people do not make up the majority of us.

Point in case, I'm gonna start fixating on this series again and if you don't like it, you do not have to follow me. I am not gonna fight with you on this, this is the only statement I will make on this topic.

Edit: This isn't specifically to call out the entirety of the Voltron fandom either. I don't have the energy for that. I'm just using a very real example that I saw today, but this can apply to plenty of other things.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep1 Part 1: Yugi Ditches Algebra, Cards Become Real

Ah, a new season a new day. It’s Season 4. And we’re going to start of with:

A deep sea sub. Sure, why not?

So Yugi’s unofficial other grandpa, Arthur Hawkins, AKA one of the member’s of this show’s only really happening OTP has decided to kinda ditch his Granddaughter Rebecca and go to the bottom of the ocean. Don’t blame him. Down here is where, I guess, he will come across this very Grecian looking structure.

Like Yugioh nonchalantly passes a lot of bad history at me but like...he’s in the Atlantic Ocean and there’s Grecian style stuff everywhere?

Why? I mean at least he’s not in the Pacific but like...Yugioh. Anyways, we’re not in Greece but the show had very little time to invent a brand new ancient architecture style although I would be super down for that.

But like...here’s the thing about columns--you can go really deep into column lore and people are really freakin picky about columns and what they mean, and this could have been a low key hilarious place to make an entirely new column order just for Yugioh. They could’ve done it and they decided not to. It’s OK, I’ll save it for the Marik’s Boat Time spinoff they’ll never ever make.

But I just want to bring up just real super fast that Noah and Gozaburo must’ve known about this place for years right? Like they super lived underwater and had robots poised to attack mankind stationed all over the sea floor so...we can pretty much guarantee they already knew about this place?

Just gonna bring up what a shame it is Noah freakin died.

Also want to bring up what a shame it was that Arthur didn’t show up at the beginning of S3 and be like “hey Yugi, I was just in the neighborhood, noticed you got picked up by an undersea gang, what’s up?”

(read more under the cut)

Anyway, there he is, our 70 yo adventurer, who has more energy than I have at under half his age. Arthur Hawkins needs to take it down a few pegs.

Or is it Hawkings?

Wtv.

Anyways, I gave Hawkins this tweed colored font that I just realized is nearly the same as Joey’s so it’ll change if he ever comes back.

Thanks for that prologue, Yugioh. Anyway, apparently no one on this side of Japan freakin cares, because despite finding what looks exactly like Godzilla’s lair on the bottom of the sea, we’re gonna instead fixate on Rex and Weevil.

Y’all I was going to make a joke about “why does this show fixate so much on Rex and Weevil at the beginning of so many arcs?” when I remembered that Bakura basically murdered all the other mean mini bosses from S1 except for Bandit Keith, who probably got deported by now.

I had to think long and hard just now about whether or not I’ve used that joke before because it is S4 and y’all I just don’t even remember.

(I have a very long story about Warby Parker that I just deleted fyi)

Rex is a Christmas plaid now because there are too many characters in this show.

Now that Rex and Weevil have been reunited, which is surprising because I just assumed these two have been Bert and Ernie-ing it up in some condo in the NYC, They say:

I almost forgot about the secret side-plot of Yugioh, that everyone is a cheese monger and very open about it.

So anyway, they’re off to have a very simple storyline of “I will try and Challenge Yugi Muto for God Cards” which...good luck with that, it only took 2 seasons for Yugi to finally accept his challenge from Seto Kaiba. Have fun following around Yugi Muto for 2 seasons.

When there’s a...really bizarre twist that happens. Just a very weird turn of events. Like recall that it’s the middle of the day, and the sun is shining, and there’s people and cars everywhere, and it’s a good neighborhood, and then, like playing Pokemon in tall grass, this guy just appears in front of them.

And guys, I’m from the Bay Area and I have slipped and fallen right on top of my phone on Fillmore which was DEVASTATING so like...their unstoppable speed walk down this 12 degree slope is...

I think they wanted to run into them, I really think they did. I think people in this town are so desperate for any excuse to fall into a horrifying disaster that they are just magnetically attracted to anyone wearing an oversized blanket.

Also this guy’s look is...kind of forgettable. It’s somehow weird and also forgettable at the same time. Hit that sweet spot for me. I don’t even remember this guy’s name, it was so forgettable. I’ll look it up later. Maybe bro will do it. I dunno. He wears a Monocle so like...that’s all I can say about this guy.

OK so I just checked in with Bro and then Bro made a weird rant about this guy being called Gurimo and how bro had some strong opinions about Season 4. Then Bro said a statement that really stuck with me, although I only remember part of the statement which was: “...this guy can just go get more monocles from Forever 21 and Hot Topic...” which made me very quickly realize my adult brother has never entered either a Forever 21 or a Hot Topic if he thinks a cultist in a monocle would purchase monocles from there.

I learned a lot and now you have to know this too.

And in case you’re wondering “did Rex and Weevil deserve this?” No. He just immediately decided to steal their soul on the sidewalk in front of Women’s Foot Locker from what I assume is just down the street from Yugi Muto’s house/game shop.

(how did this storyboarder nail the 3/4 degree angle on Weevil here? Do you know how hard that is to do with not just glasses but weird ass chunky glasses?)

Ah, a duel disk that can stab yourself in the stomach with two very poorly laid out barbs.

Very nice rival to Kaiba’s duel disk that will behead you if you don’t fling your arm out just right.

So like...did he steal a duel disk from Kaiba and then mod it? Is that what they did? The whole point of duel disks is that you’re linked up to the Dueling Facebook or whatever...so did this Cultist buy a normal duel disk from Toy’s R Us and then say “ahahah I’m going to do so much card crime!” and then start modding it with help of a cosplay forum? Like what’s the story here of how this guy spent all of last year (and definitely all of last season) modding this duel disk over a computer desk, some metallic acrylic paint, and a sauntering iron, feverishly asking his forum if anyone can 3d print some sick ass runes for his soul-sucking duel disk?

And then I guess this guy dueled both Rex and Weevil at the same time? Like this was all off screen...but why didn’t Rex and Weevil just leave? Just don’t pull out your duel disk and you’re probably good?

Just so many ways to have avoided losing your soul in the first ten minutes of Yugioh.

Anyway, on the other side of town, Tea is worrying about Yugi which is basically her normal.

Joey and Tristan decided to meet up with her, not because she was clearly in distress, but because Yugi isn’t around, and why worry about Tea when instead your friend Yugi is probably going to destroy the world the moment you turn around (and he did. Yugi absolutely effed everything up the very moment these three took their eyes off of him)

And what was weird is that it took Yugi until, I dunno...several streets over to kind of come out of the ether and be like “heeey Pharaoh...um...what’s up?” Like it took him this long to say something. Probably so that by the time they would have walked back to school math would have been over.

So...did Yugi just not notice at first? Like it’s sort of amazing what these two don’t know what the other one is up to. Including this situation that little Yugi absolutely should have picked up on.

As it turns out, the cards are speaking very audibly to Pharaoh. This should have been somewhat of a...youknow...red flag...since Yugi can’t hear them but Pharaoh can. But, Yugi’s like “well...we’re so used to everyone just giving us the answer and that being the right call, I guess this must also be the right call.”

And...although he had quite the head start, These three are more than willing to drop the hell out of class and rack up those absences. I’m gonna assume they had to make up another wild excuse about Tea’s cat to that one teacher to get out of school just like last time, but they did all that offscreen.

And then Tea just kind of snapped, and she did so with a smile the entire time.

Her wording was somewhat different, but she did basically say something along the lines of “if you don’t remember me telling you this a million times, you are an idiot” and Pharaoh didn’t have an answer and so it was like he said without saying anything “yes, I am.”

Which he will further prove like five minutes from now.

Like Y’all, bless his cursed perfect ass, but Pharaoh is the biggest idiot in this show. Sometimes he’s brilliant, but if he’s ever left to his own devices, just the biggest idiot. He got duped by some guy pretending to throw his voice so that his cards looked like they were talking to him. Pharaoh thought cards can talk.

And so that’s how Pharaoh freakin caused the Apocalypse. The first of many.

He did so just so very easily.

His cards started wigging out, the tablet started icing over--it was like “hey remember what took 2 seasons to build up to? Well screw it.”

Also this happened, apropos of absolutely nothing.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand cards are real.

I mean they’ve been real for a few seasons but now the cards are officially real and they’re not cute like Pokemon. They’re all really gross and roided out and they probably have a funky smell. All of them.

I knew we’d get here eventually I just didn’t know it would be SO fast.

When no one was paying absolutely any attention--when my entire focus was inside of this museum, that was when cards became real.

Well...

...time to shove em into little balls I guess. Anyways, that’s it for this update because this episode was a lot of stuff so I’m gonna split it so y’all have it easier and so I have it easier too.

And if you just got there this is S4, if you want to start reading these from S1, here’s a link to the collection in chrono order, it’s basically like reading a Victor Hugo length of book except its just me ranting about WTF is going on in OG Yugioh for 100+ episodes, knock yourself out.

[sunbird-tells-stories]

What are your headcanons for Omi, Clay, and Raimundo in reference to MW? If you don't get the chance to fit everything into your story, would you consider writing one-shots to go along with it? What was your inspiration for writing MW, aside from wanting a Jack Spicer redemption? What's your writing process? How long have you been writing? Are there other fandoms you're into besides XS?

This is going to get LONG and I don’t want to split it up because internet is bad here so apologies In advance but here we go:

What are your headcanons for Omi, Clay, and Raimundo in reference to MW?

I’ll start writing them and posting them as soon as I finish answering this one. It might take a bit, but you’ll see them up in a few hours or so.

Believe it or not those headcanons help me a lot when it comes to figuring out characters. So thanks for asking! I appreciate it.

If you don't get the chance to fit everything into your story, would you consider writing one-shots to go along with it?

Hell. Yes.

There is SO much I want to do. I want to write about how each Dragon found their element. I want to write ALL OF THE SHIP FUEL for Jack x Jermaine x Timber. I want to write about them having little mini episodic breather adventures in lots of different countries and cities, I’m talking Mumbai, St Petersburg, Venice, Paris, Capetown, Aguascalientes, Melbourne, everywhere! And maybe run ins with villains, for no reason. I want to write about them teaching each other about their strengths, like Jack explaining science to Jermaine and Timber or Timber teaching them two city boys how to fish and forage for food.

Also more moments of Jermaine reigning these two natural disasters in and teaching them how to be actual people. Because that’s always fun.

I want to write little moments between characters in Team Xiaolin during their quest to track down Team Spicer and I want to write moments between Seon Yeong, Rai and Kim as a trio. I want to write post-MW! Fics between characters and how they learn and grow after the events of the story - especially Kimiko and Timber as total opposites and the only two girls on the team. And I really want to write a ‘beach episode’ where Jack, Jermaine and Timber just end up warping to a tropical area and just have fun for once.

I want to write solo fics about Jack and Jermaine and their personal struggles as they grow up with their own troubles prior to MW!

And a part of me really, really wants to start posting a mini fic about Timber’s life in Silent Harbor, to show her slow, sad descent into the troubled teen she has now become and as a build up to the events of Chapter 6 of MW! where she runs into Jack for the first time. It would be SO spoiler-y though.

There’s a lot that might not fit in MW! And I would definitely write a bunch of mini stories. I don’t know who would be interested in reading all of that, but I might do it just to brainstorm ideas and explore character interactions.

What was your inspiration for writing MW, aside from wanting a Jack Spicer redemption?

I’ve been wanting to tell a XS story since I was a kid! This show was my everything! The characters were my everything. And even now it holds a special place in my heart. So the drive to write something for this fandom has always been there.

As for MW! itself....I’ve always had a fondness for Jack Spicer. I’ve always wanted him to find some semblance of happiness and have someone there so he’s not alone. And a long time ago, that someone became Timber.

But Timber wasn’t who she is today. She was Latina, and Californian, and a bubbly pink ray of sunshine and positivity. And Jack had a crush on her and she was his bestie and she was essentially an overly competent sidekick for him and then Clay had a crush on her and she was the Dragon Of Wood and Jack was the Dragon Of Metal and he was going to sell his soul to the Heylin side to finally earn Chase’s approval and she was gonna save him from himself...well, you get the picture. And I liked her a lot, and I still miss that version of her sometimes, but...she wasn’t interesting enough. And there wasn’t really a story there. At least not much of one. What was there could have been interesting on its own, but it was pretty self indulgent and I don’t think anyone besides me would have enjoyed reading it. And that’s no fun.

Then I had the idea to somehow bind Timber, an innocent civilian girl, to Jack through magic by having her make the idiotic mistake of betting herself in a Showdown with him over a Wu that was hers and then lose, and then essentially being dragged along on all of his adventures and slowly becoming friends with him while hilarity ensues. Then I had the idea to make a game breaking Wu that just...caused trouble. And the story then became about Jack accidentally dragging a civilian girl along on a warpy portally adventure with that Wu and run into all these villains as they become friends.

But when I did this, it didn’t feel balanced. I had someone on the Heylin side and I had someone who was Neutral. So then I needed someone as a buffer between Jack and Timber so they didn’t kill each other and to represent the side of Good aka someone who was Xiaolin.

And then Jermaine came along!

And as I developed the story more, I realized I wanted to tell something serious, and have all the characters grow and play off of each other and talk about the XS universe and answer questions and give everyone this big, long journey and great trial and give Jack actual character development and actual friends/love interests and have someone from Chinese Mythology be the Xiaolin’s ultimate adversary and Jack’s final test of character. And along the way, MW! was born.

And I’m really grateful for that.

What's your writing process?

Usually first I write up a few ideas of what I want to happen, like the general flow of the chapter. Then I make a chronological skeleton of dialogue, and I tweak it until I’m satisfied. Then I write the rest of the stuff like actions and descriptions.

One of my flaws is being redundant. Another is being overly wordy. So after I write it all out, I try to trim it down and tweak it as best as I can until these flaws are no more (I sometimes skip stuff) and then I just play around with the chapter until it feels right. It has to strike an emotional chord with me and get me excited to write it before I publish it. If I don’t feel that spark, it doesn’t go up.

I had a few people in the fandom volunteer to be beta readers, but my chapters are so long...so right now it’s just a couple of my closest friends who are looking at it, the main one being my friend CVD, who also wants to be a writer. She’s got a good eye for what does and doesn’t belong and I’m forever thankful. My other two, Trinket and Papillion, look over it and help let me know how they feel about things so they’re also a big help. So shoutout to you guys!

And then after all that noise, my stuff goes up.

However, my older chapters could use one final spellcheck and revision so I’ll eventually go back and polish those up a bit. Typos man. Typos....

A lot of times I’ll also take breaks to do some research and find inspiration music. Honestly there are days where I can’t figure a character or a scene out until I find JUST the right song for inspiration. And since a lot of characters in my fic are from a different country and cultural background than mine, I’ll do plenty of research to try to stay true to who they are. I’m doing a lot of research on the Bedouin tribe and its history and looking for a lot of pretty Middle Eastern music right now, for example. YouTube is a great resource for these things! Bless the internet!

How long have you been writing?

Since forever! I’ve always been making up stories in my head! And they’d get elaborate too! I’ve built so many worlds and characters just by playing around as a little kid, I can’t even begin where to start talking about them all. As I grew, I started to write them down and now I want to get serious about it! Besides Monkey Wrench!, I want to write a fanfic for the Ducktales 2017 fandom and the Black Butler fandom, and I have two original novel ideas I want to write out and get published. It’s my dream to make stories that other people love and that inspire others to learn, write, make stuff and have adventures and stuff. Literally my dream is to make stories that get a buttload Of fanart and cosplays and fanfic and just...move the world for the better somehow. That is my highest goal rn. Being a published and famous author.

Are there other fandoms you're into besides XS?

Hell yeah! Although I do tend to have periods where I hyper fixate on one at a time. Besides Xiaolin Showdown, I also like Gravity Falls, Storm Hawks, Steven Universe, Star vs The Forces Of Evil, and Ducktales 2017. There were a lot more in the past, such as Teen Titans, King Falls AM, The Boondocks, and Samurai Champloo, but I haven’t been very active in those fandoms as of late.

I really need to get into Tangled: The Series, OK KO, Victor and Valentino, and Craig Of the Creek. They all look phenomenal, I just don’t have time to get into them all yet.

[dontshootmespence]

Beautiful Mess

A/N: An anon request for Spencer x Reader, where she is a friend of Garcia’s. In her spare time, she makes clay sculptures and asks Reid to model for her. Once she’s nearly done, the sexual tension is too much to take and they end up having sex in her studio. @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @hogwarts-konoha @sweetg @lukeassmanalvez

                                                               ---

"I told my friend, Y/N, that I would stop by her studio on the way back,” Garcia said, proudly strutting down the street in her perfect replica Wonder Woman cosplay. From her head, the perfect coiffed black hair and near perfect headband to the corset, to the kick ass boots, Garcia did in fact look like the perfect Wonder Woman. 

Spencer on the other hand went to Comic Con as he always did - as the Fourth Doctor, Tom Baker; he’d pretty much perfected the costume at this point. “Do you really want to go there in costume?”

“Yea, why not?” Garcia laughed. What kind of a question was that? Of course she wanted to show off her perfect Wonder Woman cosplay; she’d been putting it together for two years. “Y/N loves Comic Con. It was just that she had a very expensive commission to do on a time crunch this year so she decided not to go. She’ll love our costumes. Let’s go.”

Through the throng of people exiting the auditorium, she grabbed Spencer’s hand and ran down the street, stopping momentarily for a little girl who wanted to take a picture with the ���real Wonder Woman.” Garcia was too happy to oblige and then again, they were on their way to Y/N’s studio. 

Given his mathematical and scientifically-oriented brain, Spencer had always excelled in those areas, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t interested in the more liberal arts fields. In music and art, Spencer found solace - the ability to allow his mind to roam and explore rather than focus on cold, hard facts. Facts were cold, but art in all its forms warmed his soul. 

“Slow down, Garcia! You know I can’t run!” Her friend’s studio was apparently just down the street. She’d spoke of Y/N often, but they hadn’t had the chance to meet yet. Within minutes, they had somehow made their way down the street and into Y/N’s studio. 

Knock. Knock.

“Y/N! It’s your love, your light, your life, Penelope Garcia!”

“Come in, love!”

There was something about her that Spencer loved the moment he laid eyes on her. Not a love at first sight kind of thing, but one might say he was smitten. Apparently, she worked in multiple media; right now, she was painting, but she also enjoyed clay sculptures. “Spencer!” She exclaimed, giving him a small wave. “Penelope has told me all about you. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“You t-too,” he stuttered. “Do you mind showing us what you’re working on?” He figured that was the easiest way to get attention off of himself; if she looked at him much longer, he was going to make an ass of himself - he just knew it. 

Pulling the chair away from her easel, she ushered them in front of her so they could see what she was working on. A local millionaire wanted a giant painting of roses and lilies for his home. “Rose and Lily are his daughters,” she said. When it came to painting, her specialty was photorealism. In front of him and Garcia stood a giant painting full of roses and lilies so real Spencer swore he could touch them; he had to keep himself from doing so. 

“Y/N! This is gorgeous! When you have time and want to do something random, will you do a painting for me?” The prospect of having her friend’s artwork on her wall made Garcia giddy with joy. Spencer would be proud to have something like this on his wall too; she did beautiful work.

Y/N laughed and bent over to give Garcia a kiss on the cheek. “I’m already working on something for you for Christmas.”

“Ah!” Garcia danced around the studio, while Y/N put some finishing touches on her commission.

“When I’m done with this commission, I’m actually going to do a bit of sculpting before I start on my next commission. It’ll give me time to breath.”

While Garcia looked around the studio, taking in all of Y/N’s works in progress, Spencer stood next to her enraptured at how her hand moved over the canvas, somehow bringing flowers to life before his eyes. “You do beautiful work,” he said, blushing as he spoke.

Her cheek tinged with a similar shade to his own. “Thank you, Spencer. Penelope says such nice things about you. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while.”

“Well, I hope I haven’t disappointed.” He smiled. If he saw himself in a mirror, he was sure he’d have seen the dumbest of smiles. He may have grown up and filled out a bit, but he was still the biggest nerd in all of existence. For a few moments, he kept silent. “What do you sculpt when you do that?”

“Whatever inspires me. It’s normally people.” Her eyes fell on him for a few moments, taking in the sadness in his eyes despite his smile, the dimples that gave his face life, and the way his hair swept in front of his eyes. “Actually...would you be my muse?” She stumbled over her own words.

“M-m-me?” He wasn’t sure he trusted himself to sit in front of her and not act like an idiot, but he was so enchanted by her shining personality and the way her eyes fixated on her work that he said yes.

About 10 minutes later, he and Garcia got called in on a case. “We have to go. Garcia. Duty calls.”

“Oh damn,” she said. “Y/N, I will see you soon!”

“Of course, my love. And I’ll see you soon too, Spencer.”

As he and Garcia walked out of the studio, she gave him the side eye. “She wants to see you soon?”

“She wants me to model for her sculpture.”

Garcia’s eyes lit up, causing Spencer to roll his own. “I’ve always thought you two would be great for each other. Very complementary. It’s like the start of a beautiful love story!”

“Garcia...”

                                                              ---

Between cases on Spencer’s part and a quick commission that came in for Y/N, she wasn’t able to start her sculpture for a while, but it did give them time to get to know each other through quick texts and even faster conversations between cases. Y/N asked Garcia for his number, saying she wanted to get to know the man whose face she was going to sculpt, but Garcia could hear in her friend’s voice that she was interested in the man behind the face; Garcia was more than happy to indulge her. 

It was nearly three weeks before they could meet again and he could start her sculpture, but finally, Spencer was on the way to her studio. “Hey, Spencer,” she greeted as he walked in. “Glad our schedules finally decided to cooperate.”

“Me too.” Over the last three weeks of getting to know each other, his feelings had grown; now he wasn’t just smitten, but infatuated, and he found his mind drifting off to how she’d look underneath him. He quickly shook the thought. “So ahh...” he started, sitting down on the stool by her side. “Do you need me to stay still or?”

“Just for a little bit,” she said, grabbing his chin in between her thumb and forefinger and turning it toward her. “While I get the basic layout of your face and then we can talk.”

He swallowed hard, trying to block out the tenderness of her touch. His mind raced normally; in front of her, it was even worse. Once she started, carving piece after piece out of the block of clay she was working with, her eyes relaxed. Whether it was because of him or something else he didn’t know, but she had been jittery. Not anymore. Her eyes went soft, glancing between him and the clay block that was slowly beginning to take form. Time flew by. “You can talk and move now.”

“Thank god,” he smiled. “My neck was getting stiff.” He grabbed the back of his neck and cracked a bit, causing her to snort. Embarrassed, she covered her mouth and tried to hide the bout of laughter that follower. “You’re not doing a good job of hiding it,” he said. He was glad for that. When she laughed, her eyes shone like stars and her skin flushed. Something about seeing her so free and unencumbered by the outside world - just having fun - made him smile. But he needed to keep his mind distracted, or it would wander into places that it shouldn’t...

                                                             ---

After laughing like an idiot in front of him, you finally composed yourself enough to continue, focusing on perfectly the fluffy waviness of his hair before moving lower. His eyes were happy upfront with a tinge of eternal sadness behind them, and you did your best to capture that. Maybe asking to sculpt him wasn’t the best idea. Every time you looked over, you got distracted by his soft smile, beautiful eyes, and perfect, pink lips. On top of being a beautiful specimen of a human being, you’d also gotten to know him a lot over the past three weeks, and you liked what you knew - a lot. 

When you got down to his lips, it got even harder, and every time he spoke, you got lost in thoughts of how those lips would feel against your own. It had been hours - hours of lingering looks and stuttered syllables. “I think I’m almost done,” you said.

“Oh, really?” He sounded disappointed. “Y/N, I...I was wondering if maybe...you might...”

Without thought, you turned to him and pressed a kiss to his lips. After a momentary shock, he eased into you and returned the kiss.  “I’d like that,” you said. “Thanks for doing this. I really have enjoyed this.” You blushed like a schoolgirl; It was rare that someone brought out this side of you. He took you by surprise and glided his hand up your back and into your hair, bringing your face closer to his and parting your lips for a second time.

You still had a bit left to do on your sculpture, but his mouth distracted you again - yet unlike before. “I’ve been wondering how soft your lips were,” you admitted, looking backward toward the sculpture. “Better than I imagined.”

Spencer’s eyes darkened slightly at the admission. For the entire night, you’d gotten the feeling that he liked you, wanted you, but that look proved it. The previous kisses had been tentative, explorative, but this one was passionate. You dropped your sculpting tools and wrapped your arms around his neck, sighing as he ran his hands up your back underneath your shirt. 

Pulling away, you pulled the shirt up over your head and played with the buttons on his shirt. “Are you sure...?” He asked.

You nodded, gasping as he took you by surprise, picked you up and pressed you insistently against the wall. After he removed his own shirt, he kissed down your collarbone and into the valley of your breasts. The earlier nervousness between both of you eased away, his fingers tickling your sides as you removed the rest of your clothes. “I’ve never had sex in my studio before.”

Spencer laughed into your neck. “I’ve never had sex in a studio before. First time for everything I guess.” You motioned for him to move toward the door so you could lock it just in case. On the way, Spencer tripped, his hand slipping into some of the clay before nearly falling to the floor. He grabbed your side to brace you if you fell and got clay all over you. “Live sculpture,” he chuckled. 

Everything that followed was quick and frenzied, warm skin against the cold concrete floor, muffled moans resounding in the small space. Reaching over, you grabbed a condom and sheathed his length before placing him at your entrance. As you sank down onto him, you moaned at the way he filled you. “This was not the way I expected tonight to go.”

“Me either,” he mumbled. “But I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a hope in the back of my mind.” He sat up to meet you and placed his hand at the small of your back, encouraging you to grind back and forth on top of him. 

“Oh my god.”

Your movements quickened in desperation. His clay-clad hands grabbed at your skin, the cold substance practically melting against you. When you moaned, he buried your head in his neck, whispering all sorts of things into your ear to drive you wild. “I love the sounds you make,” he said softly. You trembled and moved faster, your hips having a mind of their own. “Look at me.” That kind of intimacy was always difficult for you.

“You got to look at my face before,” he smirked. He did have a point. As you bit your lip, your orgasm cresting faster and faster, you looked into his eyes and cried out. He kissed your body as it trembled above him, quickly following your release with his own. “Oh god.” He laughed and fell backward toward the floor, bringing you down to lay flush against him.

With a laugh, you looked around. The studio was a mess. The sculpture was intact, but the scraps of clay were all over the place, some stuck to the floor, the walls, your bodies. It was a mess. “We made a mess,” you giggled. 

“A beautiful mess, but don’t worry I’ll help you clean up.” He looked up toward his sculpture, noticing that there were still bits and pieces toward the bottom that needed to be done. “Maybe we can get together another day so you can finish that sculpture?”

You kissed his nose and laughed. “How about I finish the sculpture myself and next time, we meet at one of our apartments so we can do this in the comfort of a nice warm bed?” 

“Sounds great.” He reached for your head and brought you in for a sweet kiss. You really did need to get up and clean the studio; it was a mess, but Spencer was right. It was kind of beautiful, and you wanted to revel in it for a little longer.

[ofbeingfound]

Prose Etudes, 1

The scene is different but it’s close enough to memory that images of her are still spliced into my reality. I try to focus on the sun, or rather, how sunny it was today, but it’s dark now and memories scream louder than imagination - wasn’t the sun also a memory though? Constant disorientation. You would think that a memory from just a few hours earlier would be more visceral, more real, than something that I only barely remember because of the pictures we took that day.

It feels like I have no memory of any of the prose I wrote since my book, as if the last story I told was about Monique. Maybe it’s true, if only because those other words never really meant anything to me, were just exercises - if only they were like Chopin’s Etudes.

I thought I was getting better but today my feet slipped and my head fell under the water again - or was it yesterday?

She smiles as she takes a bite of her Mitarashi Dango, “This was my favorite snack growing up, I’ve never had this outside of Japan!”

The sun is bright, coming in parallel to the slanted roofs from San Pedro St to the west, and the smell of red bean and pancake fills the air. The middle-aged-but-aging storeowner smiles at us courteously as we finish paying with cash and step aside - there is a long line behind us.

“Dango what?” I laugh as we exit. She repeats the name 4 times before I finally remember. As an asian teen in full cosplay goes up to karaoke, she grasps my hand and folds just her pinky up.

“Whiskey sour, please”, I say to the bartender at Wolf and Crane on 2nd st. I love their macerated cherries and think about Her, but she is far away now. Placing my chin on my hand, my elbow on the bar, I watch the bartender fill a glass with 1 and a half inch clear ice cubes, then begin to pour my drink.

“Close out,” I say, handing her my card, and I take a big sip.

I roll down the windows as Jai Wolf fades to Chainsmokers (this was before Closer was released) and wish that I had a convertible - the air smells of salt and seared ahi sashimi, and the only thing between us and the ocean is rock, sand, and the occasional multi-million dollar home. The car is rented but we could care less, because we never get to see the ocean. As the wind rushes into the car, her hand bolts to her head to prevent her hair from flying around, but she quickly gives in, flashing me a wide smile.

The PCH is one of my favorite places because of all the memories I have there, mostly of her smiling, her holding my hand, us chasing the sunset and only finally reaching it on our fourth try. I want to go back, but this time take it all the way up as far as I can go - if only that would be further than Big Sur. I want to build memories on top of those memories, so that I no longer experience the pain of remembering them directly, so that I can look back on the memories of walking those steps again, instead of the step themselves.

“Hey, long time no see!”

I turn around to see Her, finally. She looks more beautiful than I remember, but older. The people next to us are sipping on cocktails and talking about some IPO or another. Soft string lights are strung from one side of the roof to the other, and are the only thing between us and the night sky, though that same sky is crowned by tall skyscrapers.

“Oh man, how long has it been - four, five years now?” I say as we awkwardly maintain a distance, still unsure if a hug is appropriate.

“It’s been a really long time,” she replies with a chuckle. I try to remember if I remember her laughing like that, but my memory of her has been purified to only a handful of memories and impressions. She wears plastic glasses frames still even though wire frames are in now, but her bag is understatedly stylish.

“Are you working in the area now?” I ask. Sunlight filters through the floor-to-ceiling windows, scattering on the matte white surfaces of the cafe. Outside, traffic is bustling on Market, and inside all the conversation and sounds of espresso machines and coffee grinders blend into white noise.

“Yeah, I started three months ago, you?” she replies. Her cellphone buzzes and she pulls it halfway out of her jeans pocket to check it, before shoving it back in. They hang loose past her waist and are folded back at her ankles.

“I’ve been here almost 2 years now,” I say, though what I wanted to say was that I had been waiting for her for 2 years now.

She nods with a tight smile, though when her eyes spot my blue beanie, her smile widens. Her friend calls her name and her head turns.

“I have to go, but I’ll see you around?” she asks, her voice inflecting at the end with the slightest uncertainty. Her bangs slide sideways ever so slightly as she tilts her head.

“That would be nice,” I say, and give her a two handed wave goodbye. The book I was holding open on the table springs shut, and we both laugh.

Good writing comes out of our own fears, desires, fantasies, realities. For the longest time I’ve tried to separate those things. I’ve been so stuck trying to decide if I should write a fantasy novel, or a sci-fi novel, or a contemporary novel, if I should make a hero overcome by fear or obsessed with a dream. I always knew that I needed all of those things, but somehow, along the way, I became fixated on the idea of needing to start with one of them.

I need to stop covering my own voice, being ashamed of my experience or lack thereof. So what if my story doesn’t have sex and depression and drugs? So what if my story doesn’t have a hero or is just a fucking love story? These are the first segments of dialogue I’ve written in over a year, and maybe it’s shit, but it’s a start, right?

--OfBeingFound