#all of which is an over analysis but in the fun stupid way rather than the fighty way | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

riding-the-sunset-bird · 4 days ago

Note

Hey!

Since I started playing August last year I'd been lurking on the reddit (since I don't have an account) and always found the posts of the person who was writing "what choices determine Cove's X" so insightful and loved reading them

recently, i played the baxter DLC (still am not over it, it's my most favourite thing ever; i just love our pepe le pew) so I spent a lot of time on the reddit just reading up about him and what others thought bcs i LOVE deep analysis on characters that I've liked and I stumbled upon a bunch of your comments (which again, loved reading!) and I put a name to the comment

found the same username on tumblr and simultaneously found out you were the one who goes into the games files and wrote those posts I loved so, AH! Hi!

hahah my 'fangirling' and backstory aside, right after I played Baxter's DLC I felt like I didn't understand the reasons behind his actions? I know everyone talks about how he has self-worth issues and wanted to just be a memory but I don't get how that all correlated to completely detatching and not wanting to be a part of MC's life? Like did he care at all? If he didn't, why keep your number and the gift you gave him in one of the memories (Sightseeing?). But if he did care, how did he so easily at the beginning distance himself professionally? AND THEN REMINISCE ON ALL OUR MEMORIES TOGETHER BUT GO BACK TO PROFESSIONAL; LIKE WHAT WAS THE INTENTION

I feel like it is such a stupid question since it seems like everyone else gets it and the game explains it so many times but I just did not get it 😭

so if you could! could you help me understand it a little better? (and if you have talked about it before, no pressure to rewrite it all here I'd happily read another post of yours about it if you could kindly link it!)

i hope that makes sense haha, hope you have a lovely day and genuienly THANK YOU for what you do with your blog! its so great and even if you don't answer this ask i will LOVE reading everything you still put out!

-jaycee <3

*ahem*

Firstly--AAAAAAA >//////<

Thank you so much!! I do my best to help out so people can understand the code, and at times I just see it as something fun for me. So, when people enjoy them as well, it makes me so happy~

Also, I'd be delighted to answer your questions about Baxter! His DLC is absolutely packed so I get that sometimes it's hard to absorb it all. You asking someone for "help" and wanting to understand (rather than simply giving up or writing the DLC off) is admirable, honestly, not something to feel stupid about!

For me personally, I do believe that there are layers to it, and I'll try to do things in a different enough way/simplify them linearly in case that might help. Included will be quotes from the game to help things flow best.

All that said, let us now go on this journey into Baxter's mind together! ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

(note that this got so long that I put a TL;DR/summarized version at the end, I just thought it was important to go into as much as possible; I also have a Reddit comment here that has a smaller/quoteless explanation)

Childhood and Early-to-Mid Teens

Let's take this chronologically. Picture a young Baxter Alexander Ward all the way back in Golden Grove. He's a rich boy with rich parents, and by rich, we're talking really rich. What already is so much to an adult is virtually limitless in the mind of a child, and it earns him a certain reputation amongst the population. Everyone knows the name of the Mr. and Mrs. Ward's only child, and it makes him extremely popular.

However, that doesn't mean he has true company, especially as his neighborhood situation is quite the opposite from the MC of either Our Life version, who are given one or two easily-accessible friends depending on the game.

"The land my family home was built on… I suppose you could call it somewhat remote. It's a fair-sized estate, situated a little ways off from the rest of the town. So, until I moved into college dorms, I'd go as far as to say that I'd never had neighbors before."

In other words, there's no one around his age nor does he have a sibling to play with. This isn't a big deal at first, given that he's young, innocent, and raised where anything he wanted was in his parents' budget. He's expected to act a certain way, certainly, but he can't understand the idea of needing anymore than what he has: he's the cute rich boy that has "everything" and that every kid wants to be close to.

So much so that it gives him an ego about it.

"What I do distinctly recall is that as a child I unequivocally thought I was better than other people. That those who met me were lucky, and I could pick anyone I wanted as company. The onus was on everyone else to impress. "If someone was boring or maybe I just didn't like the colors they were wearing that day, I could find a new playmate, easily. After all, I had the most to offer. "Naturally, what I was 'offering' was what my parents had. A big, cool house, exciting outings, the best toys. It wasn't until I was eleven or so when I developed my first stable friends. They might not have been rich like me, but they had their own charms. Those ties couldn't be replaced."

"I loved it when they would come and visit; there was scarcely anything better. They never got over their sense of awe, and I ate it up."

"Becoming attached to other people, especially those people, made me realize what I'd believed wasn't true. And it was so obvious. They were wonderful. I felt things I never had before. "All it took was being who they were. It didn't matter what their parents did. No fancy venue could top genuine comradery with their company. "And for whatever reason, I was in the club, and I was happy. The person who was lucky to be there was me. "I had wanted my friends to feel the same way towards me. To have that kind of incredible effect on another person for no reason other than that I was Baxter."

Thus, the confident boy Baxter sees in the mirror everyday, like a framed painting of the kind of person everyone wants to be, becomes distorted. Kids didn't flock to him because he was "Baxter," but because he was a rich boy who could wow them. He felt that even the friends he did manage to acquire only hung out with him because they were lovely people, because they also were not immune to being awed by his rich boy things, and because he got lucky.

Qiu - who's part of his friend group - being his first crush likely doesn't help matters. It's no longer about his own personal satisfaction, where he shows off and the kids involved do little more than stroke his ego; now there are kids who are the ones offering him something, and it's something he didn't even know he was missing.

This begins the initial spark of self-worth issues for Baxter, and it's a spark that snowballs as time goes on. He doubts himself, he doubts his ability to make his friends happy in the way that they make him happy, and he - when he's fourteen - goes so far as to doubt the impression something as simple as his hair gives off.

"The generous might say I could count it as black, or that it was 'black in the right light' as my parents placatingly put it. "The fact of the matter is that it's a dusty gray."

"Who would notice a color that wasn't exactly black? And why would they care, even if they did? "Me. I noticed. I noticed and it bothered me, so I dyed it. "Was it something I wanted only for my own preference, or was it because I believed if I saw it as an imperfection then that meant everyone else did? "Probably the latter."

(note that this is around the time that an MC might meet him in Soiree and potentially become his second crush)

So now you have a double-edged sword of sorts where Baxter wants to be good enough as he is, yet is actively covering up the parts of himself that he deems as flaws to be corrected.

In trying to craft this "perfect/better" version of himself, he's created a scenario in which he cannot win. Even if said version could make people happy, he is still not the real version of himself and goes on believing that any amount of joy he does create isn't even "him" doing it anyway.

This is already excluding the fact that his parents are *:･ﾟ✧ garbage ✧･ﾟ:* who always wanted him to act a particular way, and he knew they'd take issue with him if they didn't raise him personally.

"They understand care through the lens of control and protection. That's been their way ever since I was young. In that sense, they treat me no different from a child. "But, of course, they are quiet, educated, esteemed, and a tad old. As is their company, most days. That's not the environment to act as a kid. "That meant I've always been expected to behave with the maturity of someone their own age, or perhaps even older, somehow. "A bit of a paradox, isn't it? Do everything as an adult would while getting the respect an infant does."

"They're family and I'm their son. That is what matters at the end of the day, blood related or not. "I'm thankful for that as well. "Now, if I wasn't the boy they raised together in any capacity, then there would be problems."

Even the air of sophistication he has comes from his upbringing (though he's at least made that his own). There's the Baxter he actually is, the Baxter his parents expect him to be, and the Baxter he's trying to build up for himself to be someone he thinks can make those he cares for happy, all things that he tries to deal with himself as if that's at all manageable or healthy for him.

To the surprise of no one, things still aren't perfect. Without a trust that his friends like him simply because they like him, he doesn't realize - or refuses to contend with - the truth of the situation, and the age gap between them starts causing difficulties.

"I was older than all of them. As sheltered as I was, I got along better with kids not quite my own age. Immature as always, hm? "Life changed fast then, and the years between us became more noticeable with every day. I never reached a point where I felt like I knew what I was doing before suddenly, it was as if I didn't belong with them anymore. "That they didn't have time to keep me around with the differences in our schedules and priorities. And I accepted that. So, the friendships ended. We stopped talking as young teens, and I haven't even seen them since I left for college in 2015. "I thought they mattered to me, but when have I done anything for them? Why did I deserve to be liked and included when all I did was want that to happen and abandon them when it didn't?"

Now we're getting closer to the white-and-black-haired Baxter we know as, at the time he leaves Golden Grove, he's just one year away from his visit to Sunset Bird and simultaneously no closer to knowing what he's doing. He's broken off from his old, cherished, and only significant friend group, and now he's all the way on the other side of the country in Virginia by himself.

He's still chaotic, still kindhearted, yet has no clue that he deserves to have the kind of companionship he longs for. In the year of him being at college, he fails to make those kinds of connections, whether intentionally or otherwise.

"Instead, you could say I don't have many friends. I spend the majority of my time on my own, though I do attend parties and other gatherings when I am able. "I do not have anything quite similar waiting for me there. Don't feel bad about that. "It is only to be expected. I did move across the country. It is a fairly common phenomenon for those of us who do. I'm a regular fish out of water, if you will."

"It hasn't been easy to find anyone to reminisce with, not for a while. But then again, I only developed a sentimentality once I'd gone off to college. "I was too young and proud for that sort of matter before then. There wasn't anything in my life to harbor much sentimentality for. I suppose leaving was the catalyst. Isn't it always? "But once that part of my mind had developed, there wasn't anyone around to share the emotions with. My classmates and I… we don't have that kind of relationship."

His parents are also just as controlling as ever, only allowing him to enjoy his semester off from college under their rules and in a place they personally chose and are comfortable with. Baxter, who had no interest in going home to Golden Grove and thus agrees to the terms, can only make himself comfortable by finding his own ways of having fun, such as renting a car despite being underage.

"At a minimum, I can honestly say that I wish that I missed it, if that makes sense. I don't know how you feel about your hometown particularly, but you should at least be able to appreciate that I spent all of my youth there. "I'm not so jaded as to totally discount the place, far from it. But anything I liked about my home wasn't exactly exclusive to that locale. The US is a big country, and there are plenty of beautiful things to see wherever you go. "I've experienced enough to know that much, at least. So no, I don't miss it. And I won't be going back. "If my parents wish to see me, they'll have to be the ones visiting where I am.

"Mother and Father agreed to me vacationing on my own, but under the condition that they would have the choice of where I stayed. "California being fairly close by, and Sunset Bird being so quaint, not to mention our prior excursions to the area, they concluded that this was the easiest way to keep me out of trouble."

Basically, it's all going back to his line about expecting him to behave as an adult whilst treating him like a child. He's permitted to vacation by himself but only in a town as "boring" as Sunset Bird where there would naturally be very few teenagers around his age. His streak for being a bit of a rebel reflects that.

What he doesn't expect is to meet a new group of people and the MC in particular, who unintentionally challenges his negative view on himself.

Step 3

From the very beginning, Baxter takes immediate interest in the MC and Cove, wanting to make one of those "blissful, temporary relationships" that will last the summer. Already, we have something of note, which is the 50/50 success rate he ended up having: MC and Terry were all for the absurdly friendly monochrome man that swooped into town, whereas Cove and Miranda were more hesitant (and thus didn't spend as much time with him) because his directness tended to put them off.

"I care a great deal about what I say and that it makes the correct impression. Yet I am not always successful. My approach is off, really."

"Now, this may be a complete shock to you, but… I've been told that I can come across as a bit too forward. I know. It can be hard to believe. My intent is to be open with people so we can connect. It almost never works out that way, though. I've had to come to terms with the fact that I don't possess a knack for making friends. "It was obnoxiously easy when I was a child. Especially due to that aforementioned big, cool house. But now I keep finding myself at a loss for how to do it. With the hit-or-miss endeavor, the vast majority of the time I come up with a miss."

"And I've never been in a stable, long-term relationship. They've all been brief, and varying levels of disastrous."

Put more simply, Baxter knows what he wants but doesn't understand what people want out of him (believing more that they don't want him at all). On some level, he's flying blind and simply does what he can to put his best foot forward, not wanting to miss opportunities when they present themselves to him. He's someone who likes seeing people thrive and enjoy themselves, and it's even better if he knows that he caused it.

"I live for approval."

Thus, as the "perfect summer tourist" who wants to vacation and have a fun time with those that he can, he seeks to do everything possible to make it memorable. That doesn't mean that he goes out of his way to do things he doesn't want to or portray himself as this person who doesn't even resemble who he actually is, but he puts on an air of not having any flaws that would cause him to be any form of burden to others.

This is even excluding the parallel of a group of four friends that he's involved with yet feels distant from or like he doesn't belong in at the same time; history repeating itself and what not, though in his case it's more like a self-fulfilling prophecy, emphasized by the possibility of him asking the MC out on a summer fling.

"I don't care about what label you'd choose to put to it. I could be your boyfriend, or nothing at all. "And you can also change your mind without consequence, if you find out it's not what you imagined further down the line."

Baxter gives the MC every out he can to make things as convenient as possible for them, not only so that the relationship isn't serious and they don't have to worry about it, but so they can break it off whenever they wish. He knows full well that even the person he's presenting himself as won't please everyone and sets everything up so he can almost anticipate the ending if the MC gets bored with him because he fails to impress.

He's interested in them, attracted to them, and feels that he'll enjoy their company, but he only thinks he can do the same on the short-term; that small amount of time where people are still learning about one another where little else is hoped for beyond good things.

Another way of looking at it is based on Baxter's view of control.

"It might not surprise you to know that I can be a touch… particular. I know the importance of coherence, with individuals acting in a well-coordinated fashion. And I like things to function well-for systems to operate smoothly. "I confess, you could call me controlling, at times. Not with people, but with processes. Especially when it comes to enacting plans. I'd much rather act under my own steam than follow someone else's lead. "I'm only flexible with the personal, not the business, aspects of life."

His relationship with the MC is, on some level, a process. It's something for him to carefully plan out and calculate to make it the best he can for them. Getting more personal would involve him revealing the parts of himself that he finds distasteful and believes the MC will as well.

Of course, he doesn't anticipate growing attached to them, which brings in the "risk versus reward" aspect. This can be seen when Baxter initially agrees to have drinks with the MC in the morning that he hates so much, where the safe option would be to simply postpone until another day, except he wants to spend time with them as soon as possible.

In that respect, it's not unlike him struggling to decide on the type of ice cream he'd like.

"My problem is this: I'm unsure if I should get a dessert that's to my usual taste. If I do, I'd be certain to enjoy what comes from the ice cream truck. That would be nice. "But, on the other hand, this may happen only once. Perhaps it'd be more rewarding to get something new, an option that would be challenging to find in a common store. "Which will add more to the experience? Indulgence or novelty? I want to make the right choice."

However, his risks don't end up panning out well in his mind because he's unable to get past something so minor as forgetting his wallet, when all he and the MC had planned to do was have a nice time at a cafe in Drinks. In his mind, the Baxter he's trying to present had failed, and what else can he do at that point (under his perceived logic) but do what he remembers worked from childhood?

"It's a question of knowing the right people who know the right people. We could have even had full backstage access with the main cast if I'd asked. "I do try not to lean on that kind of thing too much, if you can believe me. I appreciate it might not look like it now. You could say it's a means for me to preserve my sense of independence. It's easy to be popular if you can foot the bill, and I don't want that to be what draws others to me. "But after all that, here I am, leaning on the same old crutch. Nothing has changed since I was six."

"I suppose that was part of the issue. I didn't consider myself appealing enough as a person to be worth the time. So, I wanted the support of an exciting or interesting backdrop for meetups. "But… it shouldn't matter that much where you are if you enjoy who you're with."

Baxter expects perfection out of himself in the same way that his parents expected things out of him, and the limitations follow accordingly. He wants little more than the MC's presence and it is up to him to "repay them" for it. When he was a child, he was the one everyone else had to impress, and now it's the other way around: he has to impress those he wants to be around.

Except he's only human, and aiming to be the perfect person for the MC all summer simply isn't feasible, which he takes with every ounce of criticism one can imagine.

"This whole situation… it's asinine. I haven't known you long enough to be causing this kind of trouble. I'm quite literally a stranger. And I won't even be here long enough for that to change. As welcoming as you all are here, that can't be forgotten. "This was-I was-only ever supposed to be a part of the fun. A worthwhile piece of summer scenery. Someone who added to the experience, not held it back. You shouldn't have to baby me! To sit there and spend your time making me feel better when I don't keep it together. "The mess I am in the mornings, the drama I cause in the evenings: the person I am when the show is over. Those aspects shouldn't be any of your concern. I don't provide that support to you, do I? And how could I when I don't know you? "No. It's not fair to make you worried or, worse, guilty over what happens to me. What matters is that when we're together it's for the pleasant parts of existence. The less ideal shades of life can be managed separately. "That's all I wanted."

Two things to note as well is that he'll say all of the same dialog even if he and the MC have experienced Hang or Planning (where Baxter can comfort them), and there's a dialog path in Sightseeing (i.e: the moment most players will play first) where he'll openly say that he hopes they count for "more than strangers."

(He's additionally rejected the idea that he knows the MC despite relishing every given opportunity to listen to the MC babble about even the most mundane things.)

So not only will he deny to himself that comforting the MC was worth enough to count (or unintentionally block it from his mind), but when it comes to things becoming more personal, suddenly he's "just a stranger/near-stranger." The MC can be comforted when they need it but not him, and he's just some nobody tourist when it comes time to put any value on himself...

whether that be the simple things like driving everyone around, to the stuff that takes effort to notice like him seeing that the MC wanted to ride in the passenger seat, to the more complex like literally saving Miranda's entire birthday party.

"I couldn't have devised a more pleasant way to spend my time here, even if I tried. And to be frank, I have tried. I didn't come to Sunset Bird totally devoid of any plans or ideas. "You and your friends have invited me to participate in an event with great significance to you. It's a profound gesture to show to a relative stranger. "When it's over, and I'm long gone from here, I hope you can all look back on this party for years to come-maybe for the rest of your lives-and treasure the memory. "And if I am a part of that memory, then that is satisfaction enough. Though perhaps I'm in danger of giving my contribution too much credit."

A hypocrite (I say this affectionately, I swear) of the highest order; there are rules for himself and no other rules for everybody else. The things he does are never enough whereas everyone else does plenty by simply existing and giving him the time of day.

Leaving the way he does with no contact and little hope of seeing each other again is the inevitable result of the process he'd put together for his time with the MC and his summer at Sunset Bird. From the beginning, he's had a time frame to keep to, an intent to not get attached, an expectation that no one would get attached to him, and an idea that he would leave as little more than a memory.

"Only lately it's been different. Incredibly different. I almost worry my luck won't last. It will all be over soon. "I wish… I could stay."

Except he does get attached, just as the MC gets attached to him (in what he can admit in Step 4 is the most stable relationship he's ever been in), and now all the control he feels he had goes out the window. That's why he has the potential to get upset if the MC keeps pushing his buttons by questioning him.

"I would've preferred it to have been an enjoyable time having my company while I happened to be here, that was the intention. It seems I've ruined that on the whole. I accept the blame for that. If I had behaved better this wouldn't have come to a close on such an abhorrent note. "However, I am not an irreplaceable part of your life. I was a tourist, a novelty. And now I'm not even that. So don't bother with this."

To him, everything is so obvious: he got "lucky" getting to hang out with his Golden Grove friends, who were simply so nice that they continued bothering with him at all despite his flaws. Considering how that ended, he expected the same where no one would bat an eye if he left.

The MC trying to hang onto what they have isn't a sign that he had done anything right, but that the MC is being their sweet, considerate self in thinking about him. He's had at least five years of criticizing himself, of trying to make people happy yet downplaying it when he does, that everything the MC says goes in one ear and out the other.

"I heard you then and each reasonable suggestion to salvage the situation, but I brushed you off as if you were the one being dramatic. Or that you were lying."

At some point between having his Golden Grove friend group to now, his priorities had changed. He'd given up on having true value to people and instead focuses on creating moments (an appropriate word to use given how the game works) with them. It's a natural progression from not believing he's important to not believing he could ever possibly be.

Even basic traits he does have that one will likely see as something to adore, he won't attribute to himself.

"Now, I do admit, though, that isn't what one might call a grand love story. It's simplicity itself. "I'm not the most romantic or sentimental person in the world. I know that can be at odds with my formality, yet it's the way I am."

He'll say he's not romantic nor sentimental while being one of the most romantic and sentimental people in the game, so either he's unaware of it or refuses to associate positive words like those with himself. On the flip side, he can falsely associate others with credit for things they've done without acknowledging the finer details that might negate his point.

For example, in the Wedding DLC, Baxter gives so much credit to Cove for "staying" and "trying" without understanding that Cove didn't have a choice on whether to stay or leave the MC initially due to still being a child (who absolutely would have left and in fact did try to leave in the Step 1 DLC). He's also one of the few characters who doesn't consider Cove "clingy," probably because he's just as clingy if not more so.

By unknowingly projecting his self-hatred onto the MC's view of him, he's come to the idea that the MC has already gotten as much out of the relationship with him as possible without things completely falling apart, and daring to want anything further is his own self-interest/ego getting to him.

It's even to the point of deciding that everything is his fault if the MC kissed him in Planning when they weren't dating.

"I must apologize for that. I shouldn't have done it. Even at the time I knew I shouldn't have. That was a bad idea. One that only managed to complicate our relationship further. "I shouldn't have involved you in more of my selfishness."

So his conclusion in the Step 3 ending is that he's lost no matter what and genuinely cannot comprehend the idea that he had done anything right for the MC to want to stay in contact with him.

If the MC contently accepts separating from him, then that proves to him that he isn't someone worth sticking around for. If they instead get upset or want to stay in touch, then he has somehow done something wrong in the way he went about things and presented himself. It all goes back to being a scenario he's set himself up not to win.

"In short, what I'm saying is that I'm a fraud in all regards. You can't take any of it seriously, including what color my hair is."

"I don't deserve to have that kind of relationship with another person. That's why. I don't contribute anything. "Maybe I can impress others for a time, but how do you go beyond that? I can't say what it means to be significant as a person, to be irreplaceable. "And since I don't have the answer, I certainly wasn't going to assume I'd do it by accident. What does it take to add value to someone simply just by being there? I tried, but I never knew. "In my eyes there's a world of humans living freely among one another, while every connection I create is so fragile. If I make the wrong step I might hurt them, or be hurt myself, and if it's strained at all it will break entirely."

The sad part of it is that it makes sense, in a way. The things he did for the MC - baring perhaps that damned chocolate fountain - were almost effortless to him. He wanted to do them, so why would he think he did anything special?

One of the very few times he's willing to talk in any way bad about another is only if the MC uses Jude and Scott's relationship as a reason for why they could keep in touch. That's when his cynical side comes out.

"Of course, my rather reasonable prediction is that it will not last. Most relationships don't."

As things were that summer, Baxter viewed the MC as someone he would love to know, but not someone who wanted to know him because he doesn't think he's likable; that the slightest inconvenience to them - to anyone - would make him not worth keeping in touch with any longer. The MC also has friends who have been around longer than him, and he's never considered that he could have any role amongst them.

Tempting fate was never his intention, yet that's exactly what he does in believing they'll never meet again, drawn together as if the longing makes them magnetic to each other.

Step 4

As is standard with the inevitable passage of time and growing older, Baxter is slowly finding himself and improving as a person over the five years that he and the MC are apart. Some things change and others stay the same, whether for better or worse.

Though, any positives aren't particularly noteworthy to Baxter himself.

"I can say that I've improved some talents over the years and found a less eye-catching sense of style, but for anything meaningful there's been no growth."

Due to his self-worth issues, he never thinks what he does is good enough and is wholly focused on where he's yet to improve upon, even though he is fully aware about the parts of himself he has worked on.

"You don't need to worry. I'm not quite as sensitive as I used to be about mistakes. I will survive this, pride as wounded as it may be from these trials and tribulations."

"Part of the tragedy of adult life is learning to roll with the punches, so to speak. I suppose I should be proud of the fact that I can at least handle it much better than when I was younger. "Thinking about what kind of panic a younger Baxter would have been thrown into at the prospect of a missing shirt on an important day-"

Under that lens, it doesn't matter what he does or how he deals with the issues he feels are a burden to himself and/or others; there's always an asterisk - that he's attached to them - to act as a "yes, but..."

"I'm fortunate that thanks to my upbringing I happen to be well acquainted with formality and what it takes to authentically achieve it for an event. It's a unique kind of direct experience to wield. "Additionally, I deal well with the high level of control and detail-work one must take in a stressful event. "When it comes to work, I absolutely can make decisions. It's only in my personal life where I lack conviction. "And that's most suited in bursts with different people rather than a long-term position in a consistent group. You can easily get sick of someone who needs everything to be 'just so'."

Similar to the weddings he involves himself with as he graduates and gets a career as a wedding planner, there is an ideal final product to work towards, but one he could never conceivably be happy with because he's already starting from a place of seeing himself as someone worthless as an individual. It shapes said final product into something entirely unrealistic, never mind completely unachievable.

As for figuring out a life for himself, that goes hand-in-hand with where he ultimately chooses as his first place to live: Prism Vista City, which Mr. "Definitely Not Sentimental" ends up getting attached to.

"This, ahem, particular location was intended to be only a starting point. I was coming from the complete other side of the country, and I at least knew I enjoyed the area. "I expected to relocate once I had my bearings. It wasn't my intention to linger where I might not be welcomed. "But who could've guessed it was harder to pack up and leave everything behind once you had silly things such as an 'actual apartment in your own name' and a 'real career' tying you down? "Weeks passed, then months, and then, perhaps inevitably, I came face to face with one of the reasons I developed such a positive outlook on this state to begin with. "You know, it never ceases to amaze me. California is directly beside Oregon. I could practically walk there if I was industrious, and stupid, enough. "Despite that, being here is a wholly different experience than what I had being raised in the neighboring state. "Sometimes it seems as if I'm still a tourist. That I don't belong here, and everyone who passes by can smell the otherness on me. "Other days, I have the confidence to think I've found my own place in the world…"

That's one thing that never changes about Baxter in virtually all of his life: the desire to simply belong somewhere. What does change is how he approaches that want.

He wanted to belong with his Golden Grove friends, but fell out with them due to the circumstances and chalked it up to a failure on his part. When he wanted to belong with his Sunset Bird ones, he'd already decided himself that it would never happen to save him from any potential disappointment, and that simply being there for a summer would be enough.

In adulthood, he's given up on such things entirely. No more friends, no more flings, and even his most consistent contact - his parents - have been cut out of his life (though in the latter case, it's for the better).

"What happened, I do exactly… that to everyone who unfortunately crosses my path. "The acquaintances I made at college, dancing partners, the friends I had since childhood; my parents, though, that is an entirely different story. "The point of the matter is, excluding those I interact with regularly due to work, I have no relations whatsoever. That's simply the way it goes."

"To start, I haven't spoken to my parents in, mm, a few years now. That's what I meant when I included them in the list of relationships I haven't maintained. "Don't worry. It isn't a painful topic for me, exactly. Mostly I find it… disappointing. Frustrating? Certainly awkward. "Before I cause too much concern, they've never done anything to intentionally hurt me; my parents have always cared for my well-being. "And I can't deny how much they have done for me - all the opportunities and advantages I had because they provided them. They gave me the best they knew how and- "This is not as nuanced as I might be making it sound. "What a novelty it would be if I could speak favorably of my own family. Can you imagine? "That's not the case, however. "What I am trying to say is that my parents are, on the whole, good to me. And they do love me as their child whom they raised for nearly two decades. "Just as I still feel compelled to give them credit for the minimum, I'm certain they're telling their acquaintances endless excuses for why I'm so distant and unagreeable with them. "They haven't given up on me, in their own way. "But all that does not make them good people. "I can assure you that because they are not good people. I'm merely a rare exception to the unpleasantness. "My parents are selfish- they're sheltered. Even as adults."

"Imagining myself as not their son and not someone they loved seemed meaningless at the time. They did love me and that's what mattered. "Of course, it's not always enough, is it? "If I wasn't theirs, either through birth or adoption, if I was someone else's son, they… would hate me. "I know I'm foolish, on many counts. It took me a long time to realize that them being hypocritical shouldn't reassure me the way it did. "Baxter Ward could have as many 'shortcomings' or 'problems' as he did and it'd be fine because it was 'different' in that case. There were reasons, can't you see? "But they couldn't see that other people deserved the same kind of understanding. "And that some things weren't 'problems' in the first place…"

The true tragedy of it being that it's heavily implied that Baxter's parents did attempt to teach him or at least act in a way that would lead him towards a life without any meaningful relationships, which is what he got when he became an adult but not ever what he truly wanted.

"And their nonsense priorities and concerns are what my parents expected from me! "How ironic that I can finally see the silver lining of my lifelong struggles thanks to them. "If I never realized how poor my connections were, or if I never cared that my relationships were nothing more than associations based on conveniences, maybe I'd have been who they wanted."

Arguably, Baxter is at the most "successful" place in his life: he might not be rich anymore, but he's making his own money with a job that suits him, he has a nice apartment, and he's living comfortably.

Except he's not happy, and convinces himself that it's as good as he's ever going to get. It's both the highest and lowest point of his life.

"Of course, I wouldn't be able to understand the viewpoint of someone willing to commit themselves to another person for the rest of their life. "It's what makes for a good planner. I can get invested just enough in the premise to truly create something special, but I'm not attached to the real relationship. "And I'm not disappointed when it's over. "It's been years since I was careless enough to be hurt by anything. "I'd given up on trying for more than what I already had. Then I told others, and myself, that meant I was always content. But honestly, it made me bitter. "I didn't become the person I wanted to be. I didn't achieve the kind of life I'd hoped for."

He couldn't even maintain his relationship with dance, something he'd adored since he was young and now limits to lessons given to wedding couples.

"In a way, I fell out of love with that passion. "It became tedious and unsatisfying to do it with complete strangers, and I didn't have enough hours in a day to dedicate to a long-term competitive partner any longer. "But perhaps I should've tried harder not to give it up entirely. "How embarrassing… even my choice of hobby revolved around having a serious and understanding relationship with someone else. "The precise matter I've had a lifelong struggle to obtain."

As for the MC, Baxter misses them desperately, but goes about his life as though he doesn't. He's committed to viewing himself as someone who doesn't deserve them and that what he did was the right thing to do.

It would seemingly be "easy" then to let go of anything that reminds him of them, in hopes of either limiting the times that he finds himself thinking back to those moments or steering himself towards moving on, but he can't.

The MC's souvenir (if they gave him one)...

"I am fond of it even now. I've never been able to part with it. But isn't that what souvenirs are for? Keeping for the long term? "I'm being entirely reasonable for holding onto that after thoroughly leaving everything in Sunset Bird behind."

Their number...

"I had your number all along. "Of course, I never looked at it over the years we were apart, but didn't have it in me to delete it either."

Even the khaki shirt he wore during Mountain (if he and the MC were dating at the time and they invited him up to their room)...

"It remains my stolen property to this day."

He keeps all of them, unable to let go of the feelings the MC caused within himself but locking them deep inside rather than addressing them. He has the very method for contacting the MC at any time to reconnect, to explain himself, to apologize, to confirm or reject his own doubts over what happened, but he doesn't out of fear.

"I said it before- my concern was protecting my own feelings. Anything I did to that end felt justified. "The more time and experience let me reflect on my actions, I only became more convinced I should stick to my word and not trouble you further."

"I've also missed you over those five years. "And Terry and Miranda and Cove and that summer in Sunset Bird, but mostly, it was you who I thought of. "During that trip, I did feel wanted. "You made me feel wanted. And… important. "It was exciting and amazing, and felt impossible it could last. The shine would wear off eventually, as always. I didn't want to see it happen. "What if I seemed pathetic for being attached to people I met on a short vacation? You had your real group of friends who lived with you there already. "Or what if you stopped responding to me after realizing I wasn't that interesting? Or why would I have even assumed there'd be a reason to talk to me at all once it was no longer convenient? "I'm aware that's not a kind way to view you, but it wasn't that you'd done something to make me believe it would happen. It's my viewpoint for every situation."

Baxter never once thinks that the MC is a bad person, simply that he is the problem and even the best of people will "understandably" lose interest in him if there's any interest to begin with. As someone who likes control and has been conditioned to stray away from more personal relationships, it's advantageous to him to remain in his self-sabotaging mindset.

It's what he's used to.

"I can't afford to flitter off on vacations whenever the mood strikes the way my parents can, but I have a very comfortable existence. "It's nice, if lonely. "Of course, let's not pretend I have anyone to blame for that other than myself. I ended every relationship I had with my own actions. "It's the story of my life. I want to be liked, but I don't want to be important. "A suitor for a season, the planner at a wedding- it's that kind of role I'm comfortable in. "Perhaps that's why I'm drawn to people who are wanted by everyone else. They don't need me. I can be someone, I can't be 'the one'."

So when his Step 4 begins and the MC unexpectedly shows up back in his life, five years after Baxter expressed confidence that they would never meet again, he can barely handle it. Without his say so, he's being confronted with feelings that haven't faded, and ones he already thinks are ridiculous of him to have considering how short of a time he'd known the MC.

The best he can think to do is to put on an air of professionalism and brush the rest off. He'd already left, not contacted the MC for so long, and had remained determined to never see them again, so he doubles down on it.

"I'm merely an employee of your friends. Please feel free to ignore me entirely."

However, it's not tenable, because Baxter has never been someone with the impulse control to keep him in check. Even in the few days he knows that the MC will be around and then leave afterwards, holding himself back from doing what he wants isn't something he can keep up for that long.

In front of people like Jude and Scott who he doesn't know, it's at least easier, but around someone like Xavier who he has some form of friendlier relationship with (only a day after he'd conveyed to himself and the others that he's nothing more than the wedding planner), he's already dropping stories about the past.

"As soon as it comes to you it appears my reason goes out the window. Along with much of my dignity. "But that is how it is."

"Enjoying myself in your presence is the most natural thing in the world. Frustratingly so, at times. I find myself letting go of more than I intended to."

It's also not that Baxter doesn't want to talk to the MC because, if the MC tries to get him to talk during the ride back from the bakery, he deliberately makes it a game of rock-paper-scissors that they'd be guaranteed to win if they wanted to. He could've shut them down entirely if he didn't care, but he finds a middle ground of technically not agreeing outright while still letting the MC talk to him.

"The petty types of decisions that were best suited to be decided with randomness mattered little to me. "It was far more amusing to see who would use the advantage they had to win and who would be willing to take the loss, and why they seemed to do so. "At the bare minimum I'm not that much of a brat any longer. "As an adult, I use it mainly to get away with not making decisions of my own. Whoever is playing with me has the responsibility to win or lose because what they're up against is preordained. "I don't even need to choose which symbol my hand takes. It's easier that way."

Not that it means he's alright with it either. Baxter is already under the stress of planning a wedding in a matter of days and now has to deal with seeing the MC again, sometimes one-on-one. He doesn't want to be cruel to them, doesn't want things to be so difficult, nor did he want the MC to be "forced" to go with him to the bakery (on a suggestion he couldn't have known would lead to it), but that's what ends up happening.

"I'm not any less immature than I was five years ago, it seems. I've been incredibly rude to you, and that is inexcusable. "You're not unwelcome near me. Of course not. "However, I'm here to plan Jude and Scott's wedding. My priority is that only, and I don't want to get caught up in anything else. "There's no need to reminisce. I hope that's not insulting, it's honestly not meant to be a strike against your character. "You are a lovely person and have many wonderful friends. You don't need me to be an active part of your life."

"I apologize for what happened between us, I honestly do regret it. "I am sorry I hurt you. I am sorry I was unable to keep my word and have bothered you yet again. "I'm thoroughly humiliated and have attempted to get in your way as little as possible. Though I'm unable to quit outright; I couldn't do that to Jude and Scott. "We are both aware that I am fully incapable of making you happy. But in four days you'll return to your life blissfully free of my presence in it. "Please tell me, what can I do for you? I simply don't know…"

It feels terrible for him, but this is the cycle he's gotten himself into: wanting to stick to what he'd done in Step 3 under the belief that the MC would be better off without him, feeling nostalgic for the past to the point where it ends up coming out, behaving distantly as a result and hating himself for it, then apologizing just to do it all over again because he's constantly going against what he actually wants.

"Every time I'm arrogant enough to believe I know what I'm doing and that I'm in control- I don't and I'm not."

"From the moment you walked into that restaurant, my actions were nothing but self-preservation and damage control and, occasionally, reminiscing to an extent I was pleased with. "Yes, I had a 'professional commitment' not to let personal matters impede the work that needed to be done, but my distancing went far beyond that. "In the end, I was using their marriage as an excuse. "If not for that, then there would have been something else. Some trivial reason for keeping you at arm's length. That likely doesn't shock you."

Baxter is essentially shielding his heart from the very thing that would protect him from his own attacks on it. He goes so far that he considers texting the MC directly to be overstepping boundaries (even if it's for work), all after continuing to let go the most whenever he's reminded of times with the MC.

He's aware that he's attached and readily admits as much when it comes time to.

"Even I can admit I wouldn't do this for every client. "And somehow, that makes this worse. It's painfully obvious I have some personal investment, enough to merit this. "More than I intended to be. More than I ought to have. "I wouldn't have done this if you weren't here… "Even though Miranda was the client's sister- "I wouldn't have offered. It'd be overreaching, to do as much as I have. "I've gone beyond the line of pure professionalism more than once already. The cake is the icing on top."

"Well, naturally, it's against my better judgment to make anyone uncomfortable. "Of course, in such a tight spot Jude wouldn't have questioned any help he was offered. "But what would Miranda have thought? And Terry as well? If some strange man they knew long ago was getting that personally involved in their situation? "I wouldn't have crossed that line, no matter how much sympathy I had for Jude's position. "So, where did my confidence come from? Very simply- I thought you would understand. "That I had good intentions, that the odd lengths I went to was merely how I am, that it was okay to let me be involved. And if you did understand, everyone else would as well."

Deep down, he knows that he is not a stranger; that he knows the MC and trusts them on a level deeper than he thought possible before meeting them. The MC brings out the best in him while simultaneously revealing the most vulnerable parts of himself to himself, which gives him all forms of conflicting emotions.

"I… "It's odd, really. I'm the one who left. "And yet I haven't stopped seeing you as someone important to me. Important in my life. "It truly does seem as though everything I did was for no reason at all."

"It's been hard not to feel nostalgic, this past week. We've had quite a stroll down memory lane. Sometimes by happenstance, sometimes because I went out of my way to do so. "I have… fond memories of those days in Sunset Bird. Treasured memories. "Like most treasures, they're things to be taken out and admired from time to time, and then put away again. "Though, some are too delicate for even that. They should never be touched. "This evening is a reprise of something I never wished to relive."

To put it in another way, though Baxter cherishes the time he spent with the MC, anything that brings him back to such times confront him with everything he's tried to avoid.

Yearning for the things he'd tried to put behind him, the what ifs of things going differently, and the doubts of all he's done thus far based on his own conclusions...

"Back then, during my tourist phase, we took that brief trip to the mountains. On a hike, we passed a tree that had fallen across a stream. "If you can picture that, it was as if we were on opposite sides, and I couldn't take the path to you because it looked risky."

Not unlike his fear of the ocean, Baxter's biggest hurdle is that final step past the point of no return: taking the plunge and trusting in his ability to survive.

"It seems endlessly deep and unpredictable, with powerful waves and rapid currents. "And there are creatures lurking in there. Some of them are larger than me. It's unfathomable. You don't play with something like that. "If I enter that water, I'll never return from it. The ocean will swallow me whole. That's what I think."

It's only by the end of the wedding reception that he finally crosses that line and has the epiphany necessary to deal with everything that had happened: the opening of the oven to check the result of a baked cake rather than leaving it a mystery, the flick of the switch to look at a room he'd always kept in darkness prior, and the throwing of himself into deep water and realizing he can still breathe.

"In the past, I spent every moment around other people thinking of the limited span of our acquaintance. As if I wasn't seeing them at all, only the imminent departure. "Our arrangements fell in line with that. A clear timeframe, limited from the outset; predetermined rules set in stone. "It was that way five years ago. It was that way now. "We'd cooperate for a short period in service of Scott and Jude's wedding, and that would be that. I've said as much myself. More than once. "The problem is, as I only recently realized… "I forgot about that. "You see, I thought, completely and earnestly, that I didn't need to speak with you now, here, when I was feeling so… sensitive. "We could simply pick up where we left off later tonight or tomorrow. The fact that we no longer had a 'reason' to interact didn't come up as part of the consideration."

When he wasn't the one setting the rules, when he was the one caught off guard by someone he cared so much about reappearing into his life, when he was forced back into reliving past regrets and under the pressure of facing them all over again when their second/third time together was over, that ended up being when he found what he needed to talk to the MC. That was when he finally had to listen to what his heart was saying rather than constantly denying himself.

Perhaps even most importantly, that was when he had to face the fact that what he did - the suffering he put himself through for five years - had achieved nothing of value, and it's only through acknowledging it that he can keep it from happening again.

"When I left five years ago, that didn't make me happy. When I kept you at arm's length after meeting again, I was unhappy still. "If it doesn't need to be that way, if I was wrong, then… I don't know, honestly. I've never considered it a viable option until moments ago."

"It had been so long since I'd known what it was like to be included, to be around people who'll refuse to let you be left out, no matter how hard you try to weasel out of it. "Terry, Miranda, and Cove were too kind, but it was your gestures specifically that are at the heart of this matter. "Here's the truth: if you didn't ask me to dance again, in the afterhours of another event we helped create like you did then, it would have broken my heart. "That would mean definitively that I lost what we had. "But… if you did ask it would be more painful. Because that would mean- "It would mean even after everything, you hadn't let me go. That you accepted me still. "That you always would have, that I should've believed that all along, that the only thing I've done was hurt you and myself of my own accord. "It's horrible. I didn't want to know one way or the other."

The uncomfortable truth, a placating lie, or the blissful void of not knowing anything at all: those were the choices he had and he finally chose the uncomfortable truth, all for the closure the MC deserves and the potential prospect of a better future if he can only make it past the obstacles he'd set up for himself.

"But I can see now that I'm also wrong for making another decision for you. Even if the conversation went disastrously, you were owed a better explanation and an apology. "You had never asked me to leave you alone, I created that fiction. "I hope you can accept that I did care for you then- I care now. Of course, as ever, none of it counts for much if it's kept entirely to oneself."

"It's… a little hard to approach what I've sowed over the years. So many mistakes. "And even now, when I hope to make things right, to make things last, I'm forced to admit that I'm ignoring the reality of the situation. "This doesn't come down to what I want at all. I don't have the right to put myself before you. I never did."

"I suppose that is the true story of my life: me not understanding a thing and getting it all wrong at every turn. "But rather than dancing around this, I'll say it directly: not trying to stay in touch with you is something I've regretted for a long time. "I will always regret the days I lost, even now that we've reconnected."

That doesn't mean everything is magically fixed, nor that he won't fall into some old habits. He has to catch himself when he automatically excludes himself from the MC's meeting with their moms, and he'll still be apologizing and criticizing himself long after the MC has forgiven him.

"You've never allowed me to wallow in my misery, except for when you had to. When I made you have to because you couldn't get a hold of me. "But when I see you, I'm reminded of what it is like to be seen. "How it feels to have someone who knows you, cares about you, has memories with you, who wants to make more memories together. "And I tried to undo that- "Twice. By keeping you as far away from me as I could."

"Unfortunately, I've yet to think of a good reason why this admission isn't another of my patently bad ideas. It isn't as though I've been thoughtful in return. "I can't stand doing anything in the morning, even if I can pretend to, for my clients. As you know, I can't afford elaborate trips these days. "My only remaining social contacts are limited to the wedding industry, not performative theatre or owners of fancy cars or the like. "I've never been a good partner, even a good friend, to anyone who has crossed my path."

"My few victories were hollow and I'm still sorry I took that out on you at the start of this."

Nevertheless, he has no desire to run away from the MC now, because he never had a desire to run in the first place. He just needed to understand that it was okay to want, and that he wasn't the worthless person he thought he was so he could stop projecting how he felt about himself onto how people feel about him.

This makes way for Baxter to experience a lot of things that most people would have long since had at that point in their lives: he gets excited simply by having a person hanging out at his house, is incredibly pleased to have someone he can be (dance) with, and he's so amazed that he can have these things in his life that he's actively eager to prove to the MC how much he'll be sticking around, to the point of being ready to visit them at the soonest time possible.

"Hallelujah. Admittedly, a part of me was convinced I wouldn't go through with it. What if you thought I had lost my mind to follow you right after we barely reestablished a connection? "But having this last day together, knowing it was the last, was the final push to pursue what I actually wanted."

His story, essentially, is about a fall from issues of self-centeredness just to pendulum swing into ones of self-worth instead. It's about balancing on a tightrope of bringing short bursts of happiness to others while trying not to let his ego take hold of him again. It's about denying himself what he wants and refusing to hear otherwise before finally recognizing that he deserves to be happy.

That's Baxter Ward.

TL;DR:

Baxter starts as an egotistical child - encouraged by his rich parents and the kids constantly impressed by his showing off - but that changes when he obtains genuine friends and learns the value of real relationships.

Realizing that he'd relied only on what his parents had to make connections with people, Baxter doubts his own worth as a person and is unable to imagine that people would feel differently about him than he feels about himself.

Baxter falls out with his friends due to the age gap and not having time for each other, coming to the conclusion that he'd not done anything for them.

Under the belief that he has no inherent long-term value, Baxter goes on flings and seeks to create fun moments with people rather than anything that would require revealing more of himself than he feels is attractive to others; this has the side effect of making him highly critical of himself over even minor mistakes.

Baxter goes to Sunset Bird meets the MC, who (along with the MC's friends) makes him feel a sense that he might actually be someone important to others, which he then actively tries to convince himself out of due to fear of risks/the unknown.

After leaving the MC on no contact, Baxter continues to miss them, but feels like he would only bother them further if he saw them again even if it were just to apologize.

Baxter ends up seeing the MC again in his Step 4 and is confronted thusly by his unfading feelings. This leads him to try and maintain the distance he'd created in an attempt to protect himself, yet he's unable to keep himself from letting loose every now and then because it goes against what his heart wants to push the MC away.

Though horrified by the idea that what he'd done in the past might have been a mistake and preferring (at the start) to go on without knowing, Baxter ultimately reflects on his actions and acknowledges to himself why he's been doing what he's been doing, and that he doesn't want to let the MC go again without laying everything on the table.

#((When you see how long this post is you'll understand why it took me so long jdfkgdfg.))#step: 3 #step: 4 #dlc: baxter #baxter ward #((100% used this ask as an excuse to dump like 95% of Baxter's Bax-story into one post.))#((Hopefully this all makes sense and I didn't just ramble incoherently fjkgjdfg.))

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1moreff-creator · 26 days ago

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Danganronpa: One Shot - Prologue & Chapter 1 Analysis

Hello lovelies and loveliers! Since DR:OS’ first chapter has officially closed out, I figured it’d be a good idea to touch base and make a little analysis of all its characters and the things that have happened before moving forward! … Is what I would say, if I’d gotten this out in time. Yeah I took too long and now CH2’s started already (_ _ ///). I’m not sure I’ll do this every chapter, seeing how long it takes me compared to how fast DROS updates, but y’know. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there :v For now, let’s talk about the sillies!

CWs: Daily Life and Deadly Life

The format here will be the same as the one I followed for my DRDT CH2 analysis. That is, start by talking about the general plot and the trial, and then go character by character, in ascending order of relevance for this chapter. Though, obviously, what characters are more relevant than others is subjective, but I'll try :v

However, there's a few extras this time around. For starters, back when all we had of the cast were a couple of drawings and symbols, I made some early predictions about what they would be like. Though I won't go over all the predictions, I will at least make some comments on my talent predictions, so there's that. Additionally, since we know DROS has an in-cast mastermind, I'll rank the characters based on how likely I find them to be the mm, and give a little reasoning for that. I didn't really think I had enough to say on that front for a separate post, so I'm sticking it here! With that said, let's get into it!

Daily Life & Deadly Life

I don't have a whole lot to say about the Daily Life section of CH1, since it's mostly composed of character interactions that will be brought up later. I do love the "talent show for secondary talents” idea, but the prologue deserves a bit more attention since it's the setup for the setting of the killing game.

The characters’ last memories of the outside include the start of the Tragedy (back when it hadn't left Japan yet), so we can't be too far from that even when taking the cast's mass amnesia into account. Fun fact, thanks to the CH1 Bonus Scenes, we can actually place the moment the cast’s memories cut off (assuming it’s all the same time barring Mark) at some point after 4/10/2011, which is the release date of "The Son of Neptune", a book referenced in the Robert & Taylor scene. It may also be before 7/10/2014, which is when The Blood of Olympus, the last book in that particular series of Percy Jackson books, released. I say that based on how Mark and Taylor talk about the Percy Jackson series, but I could be wrong on that. Also yes I’m using non-American notation for dates because the way the US does it, as usual, is stupid.

This killing game is also the sixth held in the resort, which is a pretty noteworthy thing even if we know very little about what its significance is. In terms of timeline, my current assumption is that this is happening after Junko's death in the THH killing game, meaning the thing is maybe being organized by Remnants of Despair, but I have very little reason to believe this beyond the fact that these people are doing a killing game in the first place.

Something that particularly interests me at this point is the place the killing game is happening in. See, at several points, it's been made clear that the organizers of this killing game really want to stick very closely to the Hope's Peak aesthetic. In particular, as Kennedy points out in her introduction, Ellis is not just called the “Ultimate Luckster” or something of the sort, but rather, they're the “Ultimate Lucky Student” even when they aren't a student at all. This is presumably because all Hope's Peak classes have an Ultimate Lucky Student, so when choosing the participants for the killing game, the organizers specifically chose someone to fit that role.

However, if they're that committed to the Hope's Peak aesthetic, why hold the killing game in a resort and casino, instead of a school? Did they not have access to a school, or even a school-like building? Is it simply because the mastermind wanted to be more comfortable through the course of the killing game? Is there another reason I'm missing? Is there even a reason? One could also ask why the organizers grabbed a bunch of adults, instead of high schoolers, but I find the question of the building a bit more pressing. In any case, it's not something that I feel can be properly speculated upon right now. We lack too much critical information. However, I will note it down as an interesting mystery moving forward.

But after peace comes a storm; Deadly Life time! The first case is a hell of a start, with the sheer brutality of a dismemberment setting the bar high for future trials in terms of how complicated the murder plans could get. Though I’m not really the biggest fan of gore only for the sake of shock, I think this case does just enough to instantly hook the reader with the premise of such a brutal method, without dwelling excessively in it and letting other parts of the case carry the mystery. The fact it happened before a formal motive announcement was also its own hook. Basically I like it :D

The mystery itself was fun, too! Nothing too crazy, which is expected of a first case, but things like the motion sensors and the ever present question of why the hell Cass left their room to go to the casino made for a pretty fun enigma to think about.

The trial was also very engaging, especially with how high the mini game to word ratio was. Pretty fun to play along with those things! Although I’m sending up a prayer to the creators’ Docs main page, there’s gonna be so many mini game docs by the time this ends xD The cast of One Shot is… not the fastest, presumably because the authors prefer a high ratio of minigames, but they make for a lot of pretty fun moments in the trial.

Finally, all the more introspective sections we get with Ellis every now and then are great, but that’s mostly because Ellis is awesome so I’ll get into it more in their section :v

Alright, now to get started on the characters!

Monoquin

Cool mascot! Though I hope you’ll forgive I don’t have much to say about him, seeing as so far he’s been more of a Thing facilitating the progress of the killing game than an actual character. Not a bad thing, he is what he is, and a mascot that’s actually pretty professional helps keep the focus on the cast in pretty much all scenes, which is a benefit.

Harper Young

-Original talent guess: Pacifist/Activist/Make-Other-People-Feel-Good-Person -Actual talent: Philanthropist -Talent prediction notes: Well the idea was there xD -Likes: Charities. Dislikes: Vineyards.

I mean, ve really doesn’t do much this chapter. Right now, all we really know about ver is that ve had run into Noah before the killing game doing charity work around his frat, that ve likes to knit, and that ve’s getting kinda restless not being able to so much to help people.

Noah [CH1, Page 41]: Yo, Harper? Harper: Hm? What is it? Noah: You wanna do something, or… something? You seem on edge. Harper: Oh, apologies. I suppose I’m not used to not doing anything. I’ll go grab my quilt.

(Note: All quotes from CH1 are cited with the page they're found in the full chapter doc)

This also gets reiterated a few times during ver Bonus Scene with Noah. In that scene, Noah also implies that Harper's not just rich, but a billionaire.

Noah: [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 8]: Yeah… I definitely didn’t have to struggle or anything, but I’m sure there’s a difference between upper middle class and literal billionaire.

That’s still quite a fair bit for the character who got the least focus in the chapter imo, which is cool.

I can see ver character going a few different ways, either breaking down from restlessness or the inability of helping those who die from the killing game. Ve's been relatively calm so far, but who knows how long that's gonna last.

On another note, what beef does ve have with vineyards. They don't seem like uniquely bad businesses from what I found on a few browser searches. Harper, what did the grapes do? ToT

-Mastermind Ranking: 7/16. Harper's actually on the lower end of the people I suspect a bit. While ve has less outright disqualifying lines (aka things the mm would never say) than those below ver, ve does seems genuinely worried about what's happening outside.

Harper [CH1, 2]: Even if it isn’t something I’m required to do, I have commitments I’m worried about letting down. There are people to help.

Question: What personal belonging from the outside would you bring into the killing game? Harper: “An update on how my foundations are doing would set my mind at ease.”

And while that could all be a lie, the extra detail that ve's restless and not all that happy in the killing game is enough for me to put ver relatively low on the list.

Robert Smith

-Original talent guess: Blank Slate/Regular Person/Guy -Actual talent: Normie -Talent prediction notes: Actually kinda proud of this one! -Likes: Pizza. Dislikes: Mosquitoes.

Robert is a very interesting character to have in a cast so full of weird-ass characters as this one (or any fangan cast really). He didn’t do much in CH1, per se, but his normality contrasted with everyone else’s… deal… certainly helps establish how no one here is all that well adjusted. Robert’s the most shaken up over Cass’ death, just on how gruesome the murder was, for example. And given how he talks about how impressive he believes the others to be based on his CH1 Bonus Scene, this does seem like it’s going to be a recurring thing for his character.

That said, there is also the fact that Robert seems to enjoy literature, what with him reading Percy Jackson and his secondary talent being reading a poem. And this means it’s time to go Literature Girl Insane (it’s funnier the third time! /ref), and see if there’s any symbolism in the literature my guy brings up.

The book referenced in his Bonus Scene, “The Son of Neptune,” doesn’t strike me as incredibly relevant… from a reading of the Wikipedia plot summary- look I’ve never read Percy Jackson you’re gonna have to deal with that.

There’s something to be said about how Percy being an outcast at the camp he arrives at or something could connect to Robert’s feelings about being an outcast in the presence of Ultimates (Taylor’s too), but that’s kinda all I could gather. The plot being about Percy being an amnesiac, if anything, would connect it more to Mark, unless Robert or Taylor have some kind of important memories missing as well. Or maybe I’m reading too much into it and “The Son of Neptune” just got picked because it’s a popular book that a normie would read and fits the time frame of DROS, who knows!

As for the poem he reads in the talent show, “The Road Not Taken”, it’s a little more interesting when applied to Robert. As I said in my First Impressions post for that particular part, the fact the poem itself is a bit open ended in interpretation means that it’s hard to know how to apply it to Robert’s character. However, here’s my current best guess:

The Road Not Taken shows a person in a fork in a road, who takes one of the paths and won’t return to take the other. In the moment, it’s clear both are equally traveled. However, in retrospect, the person claims “with a sigh” that they took the road less traveled and “it made all the difference.” Whether the difference was good or bad is left up to the reader, but the main thing to note is the fact that the person’s hindsight is flawed because neither road was actually traveled more or less than the other.

In his Bonus Scene, Robert says this:

Robert [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 3]: “I have to try so hard to pretend I’m feeling normal and not lose my cool, so that I can fit in with everyone else.”

So, Robert wants to fit in, he basically wants to be “normal” in a sense. Remember how the difference taking the road less traveled makes can be either good or bad depending on the reader? Robert would be afraid that taking the road less traveled, “not fitting in”, would make a negative difference. That means he always wants to take the other road, which is presumably what led him to be the Ultimate Normie.

However, keep in mind that both roads in the poem are actually equal. Robert does what he thinks is normal, not what is actually normal. Because “normal” is relative. In the killing game, moving on quickly from a death is “normal”, where as that likely wouldn’t be the case outside of this setting or with different participants. This sets up a possible arc of Robert learning to choose whichever “road” he wants without worrying about fitting in, because the concept of “fitting in” is sorta flawed in a sense. Cue parallels with Taylor (more on that later) and foils with Aidan, who as the Ultimate Contrarian would be representative of always taking the road less traveled, if such a thing exists.

Or maybe I’m reading way too much into this and the poem just got picked because of the irony of the Ultimate Normie reading a poem from the perspective of someone who believes to have gone against the norm. That’s also very possible xD

-Mastermind ranking: 4/16. It might shock you to see him this high, but it really shouldn’t. Robert doesn’t have any lines going directly against the possibility of him being the mm the way some other people do, and Tsumugi from V3 gives precedent to the idea that maybe we shouldn’t trust the “plain” ones. Plus, I could see some point about how during the Tragedy, it would be “normal” for someone to be obsessed with causing despair. The only reason he isn’t higher is his squeamishness at the sight of Cass’ corpse.

Noah Walker

-Original talent guess: Hellenic Scholar -Actual talent: Frat Boy -Talent prediction notes: I did pick up the frat bro vibes, but the Greek letters threw me off. I now know that represents his frat's "name", per say. The US is a very, very strange place. -Likes: Electric Guitar. Dislikes: Fights.

Similar to the last two, not much going on with him yet. He's talked about his dad disliking the idea of Noah failing out of college, and apparently has two sisters:

Noah [CH1, Page 2]: I don’t think my dad would be happy if I failed out of college…

Harper [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 8]: You said you had sisters, right? Noah: Yeah, two of them.

Plays guitar, played basketball in high school, doesn't get hangovers…

Grace [CH1, 58]: I’m surprised you don’t seem to be hungover, Noah? Noah: Oh, that doesn’t happen with me. Pretty cool.

And had met Harper before the killing game in charity events his frat set up. So, yeah :v

Unlike with Harper and Robert, I have few guesses as to where this guy's going character-wise. Genuinely no clue :p

Btw, I did try to research if his frat, Lambda Omega 𝚲𝛀 (I think? The capital Lambda is upside down on his pendant for some reason, but there's no other capital Greek letter that looks like that), and I found out something quite interesting.

I really have no idea how the US works, in the slightest. I couldn't make sense of half the info I was getting :p

Apart from that, while real life 𝚲𝛀 does in fact exist, I didn't see anything immediately related to Noah. So, if it's important, let it be brought up in the story itself xD

Finally, since I overanalyzed Robert’s poem in the talent show, I may as well do the same for the others. Though Noah’s pick of playing “Eye of the Tiger” isn’t too hard to understand. It’s a song all about ambition and passion, which is very popular with Noah’s general demographic. Basically it’s the exact type of song you’d expect a frat boy to play in a talent show :p

-Mastermind Ranking: 6/16. Everything I said about Harper applies to this guy as well. He's only higher because there's less instances of him disliking the killing game environment, aside from disliking the actual murder aspect of course.

Davis Love

-Original talent guess: Romantic. -Actual talent: Bachelor. -Talent prediction notes: Close, yet so far. -Likes: Wildflowers. Dislikes: Pick-up Lines.

Half these people have insane talents, and Davis’ is no exception. Anyone who is attracted to men will apparently be attracted to Davis, be it romantically or sexually or both depending on their sexuality. Certainly an interesting setup for a character, which we've already seen effects of with how uncomfortable he is when people flirt with him. It's worth noting he's pan and has had a girlfriend before:

Question: Most embarrassing experience? Davis: [...] I guess, really shortly before my junior prom, my girlfriend at the time…

So it's not like he's completely opposed to romance, he's presumably just had bad experiences. There's even a line where, after learning of the motion sensor trackers, Davis specifically is the one to bring up the question of why Cass was tracking their movements. While this could just be a coincidence, it's possible he's particularly concerned about the sensors because he's had some kind of experience with a stalker tracking his movements, as his talent would make that relatively likely. Maybe. We'll have to see.

Davis [Page 125]: …Cass was tracking us. Why would they…?

Though, on the topic of his talent, one thing I haven't talked about is the caveat that Ultimate Contrarian is the Ultimate Counter to Ultimate Bachelor. The talent meta goes crazy.

Davis [CH1, 13]: If someone wants some form of a relationship with someone, they want it with me. Aidan: Really? Aidan takes a seat at the table, entering our conversation. Aidan: I don’t think I’ve felt that way. Davis: Are you attracted to men? Aidan: Yeah? Davis: …Trans men? Aidan: Sure? Davis: …??? Ellis: Huh. That’s what happens when “Ultimate Contrarian” and “Ultimate Bachelor” collide, I guess.

(Oh yeah Davis’ trans btw. Cool!)

What's interesting is that, maybe because of this or maybe not, Aidan and Davis seem to be getting set up as some sort of duo? The aforementioned "Contrarian vs Bachelor” scene is not the only time they're seen together. The two of them were apparently just wandering around together before the "Motive TBA” scene, and while they were investigating separately, they were also the only people in the Customer Service Desk during the Cass case investigation.

Narration [Page 62]: As I sit on the couch, I notice Aidan and Davis approaching the Movie Theater. [...] Davis: Oh, hey Ellis. We were just wandering around.

Narration [Page 84]: … I head out, and travel down to the Customer Service Desk. I see Aidan and Davis separately looking around, and am drawn to Davis first.

Davis is also the first person to compliment Aidan's clarinet skills in the secondary talent show.

Narration [Page 23]: Once it ends, people start clapping, and Aidan gets off stage as fast as possible. Davis: That was pretty great, Aidan!

The scene about the motive strikes me as particularly noteworthy, because Aidan is not exactly the most social person around, so seeing him just "wander around” with someone is interesting. Where this particular pair is gonna go is a fantastic question, especially because I'm not even 100% it is a notable pair, but I'm interested in seeing it! Or- not seeing it if I'm hallucinating its existence, I guess!

Finally, for your regularly scheduled song overanalysis! In the talent show, Davis sings ¨Mine¨ by Taylor Swift, which is by all means a pretty standard love song as far as I can tell. Possibly the most interesting part of the song for our purposes, though, is a section where the singer and their lover get into a fight, and while the singer believes they're about to break up, their lover actually tries to mend the relationship. It's possible this hints to the reason why Davis is a Bachelor; for some reason or another, his lovers keep getting into fights with him and always break up after. Thus, Davis singing this song could be expressing his desire for a partner who is more understanding or forgiving.

However, that´s a pretty insane reach even for my standards, and I don't think anything else we’ve seen implies it, so I currently don’t think there’s much of a connection between Davis and the song beyond it being a love song :v

-Mastermind Ranking: 3/16. If you're surprised he's this high, I am too. He's kinda just here because I can't point to any single line that implies he's not the mm, something that I can do for the people below him. I don't really think he's that likely to be the mastermind, though having the mm be the guy who dislikes pick-up lines and whose talent is deeply connected to romance and sexuality could serve as a good foil to the protagonist we got going on, in some way, which is an okay-ish argument assuming the creation process of DROS even allows for the mm to be picked with the protag in mind (I got no clue :v).

Grace Thomas

-Original talent guess: Mechanic. -Actual talent: Clockmaker. -Talent prediction notes: N/A. -Likes: Efficiency. Dislikes: Being late.

We got a fair bit of backstory from Grace this chapter, and frankly not much else. Still cool stuff!

We learnt from the little round of Never Have I Ever that their parents are strict and kinda overbearing, that they graduated high school early (well, got a GDE, don’t yell at me if there’s differences I’m omitting), etc. One thing that gets repeated a lot is how Grace absolutely loathes wasting time, hence them getting a GDE and such. We also know from the Prologue that they have a boyfriend, and from a question we know his name is Justin, he’s very popular, and they met in high school. All very neat stuff!

I… don’t have much else to say here. There’s certainly something to be said about their propensity for going as fast as possible when contrasted with people like Jeff, who seem to take stuff with a lot more chill. Grace’s main fixation right now seems to be escaping as fast as possible, so we’ll see how that develops in the future!

Well, seems to be.

-Mastermind ranking: 2/16. They’ve dropped one spot from my post-prologue predictions, but they’re still a pretty good contender in my mind. Everything I said in my original Predictions Game post in terms of themes and the like stands. Though, to be fair, we haven’t really seen the themes I speculated based on title and prologue lore alone come into play yet, so maybe the point truly is moot.

The only big sticking point some of you might have with them being the mm would be the fact that they seem committed to escaping, but that could easily be faked. It could actually be a decent strategy to discourage others from investigating escape routes themselves, if they think Grace is on it and can’t find anything. All they’d have to do to discourage looking for escape routes is say something like-

Grace [CH1, 8]: Though, I’ll hand it to the runners of this game, they’ve done a good job of eliminating any trace of an exit.

Yeah like that.

But beyond that, there’s also one other, particular reason Grace still stands above the others as an mm candidate in my mind, which they share with #1. I’ll explain when I talk about said #1.

Paris Hall

-Original talent guess: Tea Maker or Queen/Princess -Actual talent: Gossip -Talent prediction notes: Not even close xD -Likes: Acrylic Nails. Dislikes: Windy Days.

Our first FTE haver! Though in true Gossip fashion, Paris hardly gives out info about herself, and prefers to discuss literally anyone else's business. All we really know about her personally is that she has a big following online, and apparently friends, though as far as I remember she's never mentioned any family.

As for the happenings of the killing game itself, her reveal of Antonia and Cass’ beef could be the first of many instances where Paris’ love for gossip develops conflict amongst the group, which would be very interesting to see. But perhaps more interesting than that is her reaction to Cass’ murder. Or, rather, the lack of one. Paris behaves pretty much the same during the trial than outside of it, giving little indication that she‘s even all that worried about the whole thing. I don’t exactly have any real guess as to why this happens (assuming she’s not the mm), but I’m very curious to find out.

Finally, there’s her relationship with Taylor. Although Paris keeps tabs on everyone, she’s taking a particular interest in Taylor and calling them her “bestie”… for some reason. Allegedly, the bond comes from shared music taste and their talent show performances, which is I suppose a valid reason to start a friendship. But given my use of “allegedly”, you can probably tell that I don’t trust this all that much.

Paris sketches me out, and this isn’t new. That was part of the reason I thought her to be the CH1 killer after the investigation’s end, after all. Probably doesn’t help that Ellis constantly inner monologues about how dangerous she is due to her information gathering skills, and that Antonia clearly believed Paris to be on her wavelength during their Prologue Bonus Scene. And to be clear, Antonia’s wavelength is not somewhere trustworthy people are found. Hence why I’m worried Paris’ intentions with Taylor aren’t fully innocent. Whether she’s trying to get an ally in preparation for a trial where she’s the blackened, or creating an easy target for her to kill, or something else entirely, there are many very dangerous reasons Paris could have to befriend Taylor like that.

Of course, though, it’s also entirely possible that I’m insane and that Paris genuinely just wants to befriend Taylor for the sake of friendship itself. And generally that’s what I’d assume, as I personally like to try and be trusting of fictional characters, but idk. Maybe I just can’t handle a bad bitch making friends, and that one’s on me. Who knows!

Though, on the topic of the talent show, Paris danced to "Toxic". Continuing to overanalyze these picks… this one doesn’t paint a great picture. "Toxic" features the singer speaking to someone whose love is addictive and “toxic”, which I could see being recontextualized to imply something about Paris’ relationship with her fans (be it them being addicted to her or her being addicted to them), but… Well. As of right now, the most straightforward interpretation could be that Paris is a “toxic” friend to Taylor. Just in case we needed more red flags there.

Then again, I could always just be reading into these things too deeply. Maybe venus just likes the song and there’s no further meaning, like that thing that happened with Wizardry 8 during pre-release lol.

-Mastermind ranking: 1/16. Yep. I mean. I don’t trust Paris. This has been established.

Her lack of reaction to murder is one of the biggest red flags here, of course, but her talent would also make it easy to gather info on the contestants for things like the “likes & dislikes” section of their profiles and potential future motives, and her propensity for creating conflict could be useful if DROS is going for the “televised killing game” angle. In the Cass-Kennedy Bonus Scene, Kennedy brings up that since the mm revealed their existence to the cast, they probably want them to speculate of who the mm is, and Paris revealing Cass and Antonia’s cross-suspicion could be helping to do just that.

Kennedy [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 12]: If the mastermind wants it to be known that there’s a mastermind, they probably want it to inspire drama. What better way to do that than making accusations public and starting feuds?

The fact that one of the big narrative themes we’ve been seeing so far is ”secrets” (which I'll discuss mainly in Cass and Antonia's sections) could also give a foundation for the mm to be the Ultimate Gossip.

Finally, and this is the big thing that really puts Paris above the rest in my mind; I don’t see any arc she’s going through that would be invalidated by her being the mm. Robert’s struggles to fit in, Davis’ deal with relationships and the such, Taylor’s self-image issues (we'll to those in their section), all would be kinda moot points if they’re the mm. Like, I’m sure there’s a way to make them work, but it’d be a bit difficult. Meanwhile, the main thing Paris has got going on is her relationship with Taylor, which can easily be spun into part of Taylor’s arc if Paris ends up being the mm.

This is the quality that Paris only really shares with Grace that puts both of them at the top of my list, the one I alluded to in Grace’s mm section. The reason Paris is slightly above them is… honestly just vibes xD I trust Grace more than I trust Paris, that’s the whole reasoning there. They’re actually somewhat equal candidates in my mind.

I could be wrong, of course, but well. They’re predictions for a reason!

Kennedy Rey

-Original talent guess: Conspiracy Theorist. -Actual talent: Conspiracy Theorist. -Talent prediction notes: B) -Likes: Mysteries. Dislikes: Skeptics.

Fellow insane people from Tumblr, meet our spitting image. Kennedy spends the entire chapter doing what she does best: being completely insane and constantly throwing out theories about the mm. He’s insane in a pretty fun way, and it’s always fun to have them on screen!

We learn little about Kennedy’s life outside the killing game, other than the fact that they know a little of self-defense because they’re extremely paranoid. We don’t really know what she even does with her life, frankly. But Kennedy has enough stuff going on in the killing game itself to make up for it!

As of right now, Kennedy has several noteworthy relationships with other characters. First is his working relationship with Vivi, the only person who seems to genuinely hold Kennedy’s opinion in high regard. And of course they do! She also knows what it’s like to be disregarded as insane because her methods are unorthodox, being a Mad Doctor and all. Makes me wonder if there’ll be some foiling between the oh so normal Robert and the “Mad Duo” (which is what I’m calling them now and you can’t stop me).

Cass was also a theorizing buddy to Kennedy in at least one scene, but she always seemed to be more interested in investigating on her own. See: not telling anyone about the trackers or them spying on Antonia. Their Bonus Scene has Kennedy attempting to ascertain whether Cass would be a good theorizing buddy after her whole beef with Antonia, suggesting that Kennedy genuinely enjoys having other people to discuss their theories with. Pretty fun! Shame Cass died :p

And of course, Kennedy’s legendary beef with Aidan. By virtue of being the Ultimate Contrarian who hates assumptions and uncontested opinions, Aidan is basically diametrically opposed to Kennedy, and their mutual dislike is made apparent all across the chapter. Although Aidan ends up usually looking like the one in the right in comparison to Kennedy, I’m very interested in how this rivalry is going to develop in future chapters!

-Mastermind ranking: 12/16. Way too committed to finding the mm for it not to be genuine. Sure, by his own logic from the Bonus Scene this would actually make him suspicious, but come on. There’s a limit to how much a mastermind would try to find the mastermind, surely xD

Taylor Long

-Original talent guess: Actor -Real talent: Impressionist -Talent guess notes: The comedy and tragedy masks fooled me T_T -Likes: Movie theaters. Dislikes: Rock bands. -Notes: Can I ask about the rock bands? Lol

Taylor has self-image issues, and it’s possibly the clearest issue any of these characters have lol.

Taylor [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 2, to Robert]: I try to fit in, but at the end of the day, I’m just me, you know? The only special part about me is when I’m doing an impression of someone else. Other than that, I’m just as regular as you.

Like, I could find other examples, but this one’s probably enough to get the point across, no? Taylor clearly doesn’t have the highest opinion of themselves, so they channel other people’s energy to get the confidence they need to get their opinions out. All throughout the trial, they continuously make impressions of Cass and occasionally Kennedy to bring up their ideas. During their FTE, they constantly try to accommodate for Ellis’ tastes, constantly asking what she wants to do and what her friends are usually like.

Ellis [CH1, 38]: They, uh… they’re wild, and crazy! Always down to party. Super rich and popular, too. Taylor: Oh, I see… They think. Taylor: It really is kinda surprising that you like me, then. I mean, I definitely can do those things, but it takes me a little while to come out of my shell… [...] Taylor: Sorry, I just realized I kind of took over the conversation. Was there something you wanted to talk about? Ellis: Hmm, not particularly. Actions speak louder than words. Taylor: Oh! Then, um, do you want me to do something…? Ellis: Do you want to do something? Taylor: Um… whatever you want is fine with me!

And of course, Taylor somehow thinks that making an impression of Antonia directly after her execution is a great idea to cheer Vanessa up, instead of comforting her with their own words.

Vanessa [CH1, 152]: …Toni… Taylor: Please don’t be upset… um… Taylor goes over to Vanessa and gently places a hand on their upper arm. Taylor: “Don’t be upset, darling–” Vanessa: Stop that!

You know, like a fucking insane person-

Right now, we mostly have setup for some kind of arc about these self-image issues, and I’m very curious to see where exactly they’re going to go with it. This how there could be some parallels with Robert and the like, which we’ve already seen explored to some extent in their bonus scene.

The other main arc Taylor’s got going on is the Paris thing, but I’ve already covered that in the Paris section, so. Yeah.

Finally, for the last of the talent show song pick analysis, Taylor dances to “Born This Way”, making a sort of impression of Lady Gaga as they did. Of course, this further hints at their self-esteem issues, as they don’t seem to believe to have any talent beyond their impressions, which makes the decision to pick a song about self love all the more ironic. And yes, I believe that’s why they lip sync to this song specifically, because their presumed character arc is likely to be about self-love.

-Mastermind ranking: 5/16. They have a few lines in the Prologue that would read slightly weird in the context of Taylor!MM, but nothing outright disqualifying. That, combined with the idea that the killing game could be an “impersonation” of Hope’s Peak and maybe specifically the THH killing game, are the only reasons Taylor is this high. There's not much else here so far :v

Vivian Mitchell

-Original talent guess: Surgeon/Doctor -Actual talent: Mad Doctor -Talent prediction notes: Well. Close enough? -Likes: Experimentation. Dislikes: Supervisors.

Vivi’s great! She’s just a pretty fun character. This chapter, she doesn’t really do much beyond being Kennedy’s sidekick and performing an autopsy, though I decided her involvement in the actual case and investigation warranted being a bit later in the post than those before her (look this format is far from an exact science xD). I’ve already covered said connection with Kennedy, and the autopsy thing is more a trial thing than a character analysis thing- well, other than saying this:

Vivi [CH1, 90]: I mean, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t done a few Vivi-sections before, but on a person…? Robert: …Do you mean dissections…? Vivi: …Yup!

Which… implies she thought Cass got dismembered while they were still alive? Assuming Vivi’s using the usual meaning of vivisection (dissections on things that are still alive) and isn’t just making a confusing pun. But their autopsy should have determined that wasn’t the case, I think, so.

Look, confusing puns aside, the point is that Vivi has probably done some kind of vivisections on animals as party of the experimentation their profile says they like. At least, that’s my current theory on why they said that.

One other thing: Vivi seems to be the character who is most often pushing the idea that someone else should be coming to rescue them.

Vivi [CH1, 3]: Okay, yeah, or our families or friends could, like, do something! What, you really think all of your loved ones would straight up accept you were missing and not look into anything themselves…?

Vivi [CH1, 65]: I mean, someone’s gotta be looking. The question is whether or not they can actually rescue us, and if so, how soon.

Combined with some things said in CH2 Part 1 (I really took too long to write this :v), it seems Vivi has a pretty good relationship with her family, which is… something!

Vivi’s definitely have some other stuff going on, though. So far, we only have vague indications on what exactly puts the “Mad” in her Mad Doctor talent, so I could see that being elaborated on later, and her fixation with no one dying around her that we saw in the Prologue is something that could certainly develop into an interesting arc. Overall, pretty curious about them!

-Mastermind ranking: 11/16. The main reason Vivi’s this low is the fact that they resent their Ultimate title.

Vivi [Prologue, 24]: It’s such a judgmental way to put the Ultimate title! I just do what I think is gonna work! And it always works. So, if you or anyone you know is ever in danger of dying or anything, let me know

Were she the mm, she would have no reason not to just call herself the Ultimate Doctor instead. This, combined with their team-up with Kennedy to find the mm, makes it highly unlikely that they’re the mm in my mind.

Aidan Ho

-Original talent guess: N/A -Actual talent: Contrarian. -Talent prediction notes: N/A. -Likes: Pop rocks. Dislikes: Assumptions. -Notes: One of the most random likes here I think lol.

For me, Aidan’s possibly one of the most fascinating characters in a cast full of fascinating characters. You’d think his constant questioning of everything and everyone around him, combined with his generally uncooperative attitude, would make him a relatively unpopular character amongst the cast (beyond possibly Davis as discussed earlier), but he manages to not piss off too many people simply by being a paragon of common sense in the crazy people place. Well, other than Kennedy, as I've mentioned. Aidan also strikes me as one of the smarter characters, and thus has a fair amount of cool moments in the trial.

Aidan [CH1, 134]: …[Cass was] careful with their introduction, huh…? Davis: What do you mean? Aidan: Before Cass gave me her name or her talent, she led into the words “Ultimate Agent” by talking about other people’s work. They were making sure that I was already thinking about fucking commerce by the time they had to say it.

(By the way, I just noticed this now on a re-read, but why "fucking commerce"? Is he that pressed about being manipulated and lied to? Interesting character tidbit)

Aidan [CH1, 141]: Because you’re not backing it up. If belief is the only thing you’ve got, then it makes it seem like belief is the only thing there is.

Robert [CH1, 143]: She’s… making a lot of good points. Maybe we should listen to her…? Aidan: No way. Davis: Huh? Aidan: She’s cornered. Do you really want to let her manipulate you when she’s like this?

(Speaking of his apparent distaste for manipulation)

And his reaction to Antonia’s execution is fun.

Aidan [CH1, 151]: …Glad that’s over. Vivi: How can you be at all glad right now? We just watched someone die! Right in front of us…! Aidan: What, you wish she was still in the process of dying…?

That weird disregard for the horrifying shit he just witnessed is possibly an extension of the views he expressed in his FTE.

Aidan [CH1, 6]: I know other people care, and I can respect that. If they care enough about something to fight for it– even if that thing is as simple as their life– I wouldn’t get in the way of that. Ellis: You think lives are simple…? Aidan: Caring about your life is. Isn’t that, like, basic human instinct or whatever? Ellis: I mean, yeah, I guess. But it’s not so wrong to indulge in your primal instincts, is it? He shrugs. Aidan: If that’s what interests you. Ellis: And what interests you, then? For some reason, I feel like I’ve been hearin’ a whole lot of “no” and not a lot of “yes.” Aidan: Does it really matter…? He scowls. Aidan: I really don’t care what happens with any of this. So, if other people do, good for them. For now, what I know is that I’m here. That’s all. Ellis: Exactly. You’re here! You’ve got the world at your fingertips, what with that weird Customer Service Desk thingy! You gotta figure out how to enjoy yourself! Aidan: I appreciate how unconcerned you are despite everyone else being all moody, but… no way. Either we’ll get out of here, or we won’t. In the meantime… it doesn’t really matter.

I decided to put the full quote there because it really is very strange. Aidan’s another character whose life outside the killing game is still a mystery to us, but perhaps that is because he doesn’t feel he has anything to return to. He just seems fundamentally uninterested in everything, up to and including his own life. Sure, he didn’t say he had no interests, but he may as well have. Not caring about what happens during the killing game is a very unique perspective, to say the least!

The idea Aidan really don’t give a fuck is further reinforced by the Scrum Debate:

Aidan [CH1, 113]: Like any of you want to stay. Anyone could have a motive here. That’s just how the killing game goes.

Any of you, not any of us. See the difference? Aidan probably wouldn’t mind escaping, but he doesn’t seem to mind staying, either.

Obviously this raises a lot of questions as to how Aidan came about this mindset in the first place, and whether or not he’ll grow out of it during the killing game, but right now we lack the tools to figure those things out. What we can discuss is the way this parallels other characters’ perspectives, though.

Be it Grace and Jeff’s desire to escape as fast as possible because everything that interests them is on the outside, or people like Harper and Noah’s desire to get out to return to their prior commitments, or Kennedy’s wholehearted investment in every mystery of the killing game (and yes Aidan and Kennedy’s beef runs really deep), or Ellis’ self-proclaimed (and probably fake) disinterest in the others as anything other than eye candy, or Antonia and Cass’ interest in keeping their secrets throughout the killing game… Turns out everyone has a different perspective in how they feel about the killing game, so a character who doesn't care at all (at least, that’s what they claim) stands out pretty significantly, in a way that helps bring out the others’ different interests and the things they’re focused on.

Basically I really like Aidan and I can’t wait to see how their mindset is explored/developed :D

-Mastermind ranking: 8/16. Aidan’s general disinterest in absolutely everything could be spun into some strange kind of mm who’s just going through the motions, I guess, but it doesn’t strike me as particularly likely. Realistically should be higher, especially given his dual colored hoodie split down the middle as the black and white of the Mono color scheme, but in a sense he strikes me as too confrontational, too early. Sure, he’s not as confrontational as someone like Byakuya, but he still ends up coming off as slightly antagonistic at times just by virtue of always going against the current as the Ultimate Contrarian, and as accirax eloquently put it in her own mm predictions for other fangans (Eden’s Garden & DRDT):

…wow, the mildly antagonistic character was actually a really antagonistic character all along! It just doesn’t seem like enough of a dramatic hook to me, I guess?

Again, Aidan isn’t the most antagonistic character ever, but I still think the phrase applies. Not to say that it couldn’t work at all, just that it’d be harder to pull Aidan!MM as opposed to the other options higher than him.

“Mark" Nolastnamegiven

-Original talent guess: ??? -Real talent: ??? -Talent guess notes: Yeah this one was easy. -Likes: Soft fabric. Dislikes: Physical confrontation.

Taylor [CH1, 137]: Are either of you worried about the fact that that leaves you as the only two suspects? Like, at all…? Antonia: Hm? Not particularly. Mark: Obviously I’ll have to prove my innocence, but from my perspective, it’s nice to know who the killer is.

Members of the jury, these two are awesome.

If there’s any character who truly stole the spotlight during the majority of the Deadly Life section, beyond those actually involved in the murder (and Ellis), then that character is Mark. While they didn’t really do anything in Daily Life beyond repeat a few times that they don’t remember shit from before the killing game, their notable “locking in” during the investigation and subsequent trial is quite an interesting development for them. Evidently, whatever their talent was, it seems it gives them some form of edge when it comes to investigating. That obviously brings Kyoko to memory, though Mark doesn’t seem to be quite her level of Detective, which is cool. I like that the few brain cells we have are a bit more spread out in this cast.

We also got a couple of really cool character moments from Mark’s “partial awakening”; I’m particularly obsessed with the calm with which they handled the Third Party Analysis, as already quoted, and the reintroduction with Ellis at the end of the chapter.

Ellis [CH1, 154]: Yeah. You seem much more aware than when we first met. Or when we second met. You need a third meeting? I extend my hand. Ellis: Hello there, beautiful stranger. It is I, Ellis Ortiz– Ultimate Lucky Student, any pronouns. They laugh and scratch their cheek gently, a bit embarrassed. Mark: I’m Mark. Still don’t know my real name, talent, or previously preferred pronouns, but… glad to be here with you.

Really brings forth themes of renewal and the like. I really wonder if the fact that Mark is essentially getting a second chance to discover their abilities, after doing it once and forgetting through the killing game amnesia, will somehow play into the idea of “One Shot” as “one opportunity.” We’ll have to see ig.

Finally, because obviously I can’t talk about Mark without bringing this up, what is their talent, anyways? It’s most likely somewhat connected to their detective skills, but you might think there’s no way to narrow it down further than that. However, there may be a few hints we can use, alongside with the principle… of “The Funniest Possible Answer,” which states that a theory can be compelling just by being funny, if nothing else.

Take a look at this post, specifically the Mark answer.

Question: If DROS characters had the talents of the cast of Project: Eden's Garden, which one would each character have? Mark: Ultimate Pro Gamer.

Now, there’s nothing inherently interesting about this. Matching talents across fangans is always gonna be difficult, and not all of them are gonna fit very well (see: Fencer Vivi or Ship Captain Kennedy). However, there’s another post which makes me a bit more curious about this particular answer:

Question: What's your favorite animal and why? Mark: “I don’t remember, sorry…” [If allowed to, Mark would pick a Pokémon, and therefore Bulbasaur. If asked for a real animal, the answer would be a penguin.]

A Bulbasaur, of all things. Everyone else picked real animals as a first choice, but not Mark. Mark picked a video game creature. Combined with the previous answer, it almost makes it seem like Mark had a very profound interest in video games before losing their memories. Perhaps… enough interest to be an Ultimate of the video game variety?

To be clear, I doubt they’re straight up the Ultimate Gamer, because based on their behavior during the trial, there’s still presumably some form of connection with mysteries. Which gets me to a secondary point, which is: are Mark’s clothes really what they were wearing before the start of the killing game? No one has commented on having had their clothes changed, so I presume they’re wearing the last thing they remember wearing. But Mark has no way of knowing. I bring this up because Mark has an accessory with a question mark in their design, which makes sense with them being the Ultimate ???, but not outside the killing game. Unless, of course, their actual talent already had a connection with mysteries.

Hence, we reach my current guess for Mark’s talent: Ultimate Mystery Video Game Player. Or something like that. Could also be something like “Video Game Puzzlemaster” or something, especially because I wouldn’t exactly classify Pokemon as a mystery game, but getting the exact wording right on these things is always almost impossible, so.

Although, while we’re here, I may as well bring up the possibility that Mark may have a role similar to the Ultimate Survivor from V3, and they’re the sole survivor of the killing game directly preceding DROS. I bring this up because of Rule #7 from the E-Handbook:

Rule #7: The blackened may only kill a maximum of two people during any single killing game.

This rule’s wording about “any single killing game” accounts for the possibility of someone having competed in a previous killing game, implying we could be looking at such a situation. Of course, we have no indication of who that would be (everyone has missing memories, not just Mark, after all), but I’m bringing it up with Mark because there’s canon DR precedent for this happening with the Ultimate ??? in Rantaro. Doubt it’s the case, since I’m not sure venus would want to repeat such a plot twist, but you know.

-Mastermind ranking: 9/16. Mark marks (heh) the start of the more plausible guesses in the list, as there’s less things going directly against the idea that they could be the mm. The spots directly below Mark, such as Harper and Noah, may have one or two lines that would read weird if they’re the mm, but I still find them more plausible than Mark simply because Mark being the mm feels… odd, y’know?

There’s many ways the mm could disguise themselves that draw way less suspicion than calling themselves the Ultimate ??? and pretending not to remember anything before the killing game. That also includes the possibility that they’re the mm but still genuinely erased their memories, because that plan would be kinda insane without something like Divine Luck from that fangan that I don't want to name so as not to spoil anyone. Neither idea is impossible, hence why Mark is still higher than many of the others, but it requires a few more explanations than those who rank even higher.

Vanessa Bravo

-Original talent guess: Singer. -Actual talent: Announcer. -Talent prediction notes: I tried :p -Likes: Crowded areas. Dislikes: Minimalistic designs. -Notes: Who likes crowded areas???

As the reason that the talent show even happened at all, Vanessa is to be thanked for giving us some of the sillier moments before shit hit the fan. Quite a lovely person overall, though we know little of her life outside the killing game for now. We do know she has a sister, though!

Question: What object would you bring from the outside into the killing game? Vanessa: “I want my sister…”

Speaking of sisters, Vanessa got hit with one of the most severe cases of Danganronpa Syndrome (where characters get attached to each other extremely quickly to make the death of one of them more impactful to the storyline) I’ve ever seen. Less than a week in, she’d already adopted Antonia as her surrogate big sister. This is consistent with Ness’ constant push to make the killing game as comfortable as possible, setting up the talent show for example.

Vanessa [CH1, 8]: …Aw, are you guys seriously on the whole escape thing again already?! Grace: What else would we be doing? Vanessa: I dunno, having fun? This place is pretty cool, if you actually take a look around! Why do you wanna leave so fast?

And if Ness’ goal is to make the killing game as comfortable as possible for herself and others, and Antonia and her remind each other of their respective sisters, well, it’s as Antonia says:

Antonia [CH1, 43]: It’s only natural to take comfort in the things that remind you of home, isn’t it?

I do wonder how this attitude of trying to find comfort and fun inside the killing game will develop now that things have gone horribly, horribly wrong. Certainly something to look out for.

Another character trait I enjoy is Ness’ very proactive personality. She’s the one who gave Mark their temporary name, she’s the one who proposed the talent show, that kinda thing. I particularly want to highlight this scene, though:

Vanessa [CH1, 141]: Why do you keep disagreeing with her?! Doesn’t Mark being the killer make way more sense here? Who knows what they’re thinking at any given time? Toni is… she’s her! Someone we can trust… Aidan: It doesn’t help anyone to blindly defend someone because you like them. This is where our logic’s taking us. If you want to defend her with actual logic, be my guest, but if you’re just yelling, all you’re gonna do is turn people against her. Vanessa: Why would that turn people against her…? Aidan: Because you’re not backing it up. If belief is the only thing you’ve got, then it makes it seem like belief is the only thing there is. Vanessa: Well, you’re wrong! Antonia: Vanessa, if you’ll allow me to handle this– Vanessa: No one should be accusing you like this! I’ll… convince them they’re wrong! Yeah, that’s it! Antonia: Vanessa– Vanessa: Don’t worry, I’ve got you!

Let’s quickly appreciate Aidan’s cold ass “if belief is the only thing you’ve got, then it makes it seem like belief is the only thing there is” line.

Wow… :O /gen

Alright it’s been appreciated. Now we can focus on Vanessa again. Beyond her vehement trust in Antonia, the main thing I wanted to point out is how Ness continued to defend Antonia even after Toni repeatedly told her to back down. After all, Ness’ Freestyle Feud starts directly after this. I really like this piece of characterization because I’m a sucker for this type of “white knight/savior complex” character. I just like it that’s all :>

Overall, Vanessa beats the CH1 victim allegations with flying colors, and I can’t wait to see where her character goes from here!

-Mastermind ranking: 13/16. Apart from how genuinely upset at Antonia’s death she is, Vanessa’s distaste for the way Monoquin presents everything would suggest that she is not the one responsible for creating the guy.

Vanessa [Prologue, 18]: …the way [Monoquin] reveals information is so boring. I could do a way better job. Like, “oh, by the way, you’re Ultimates, like Hope’s Peak.” Where’s the drama? Where’s the delivery?

I didn’t mention it in the analysis, but I do enjoy how passionate Ness is over this. I can’t possibly think she’s the mm if she hates Monoquin’s announcing this much!

Jeff Breeze

-Original talent guess: (Resort/Hotel) Manager/Tour Guide/Vacationer -Actual talent: Absentee -Talent prediction notes: Vacationer’s kinda close, right? What's with the umbrella, anyways? Unguessable xD -Likes: Blue hawaiians. Dislikes: Conflict.

My guy has exactly one goal at any time, and that is to get the hell outta dodge. We hear in their FTE that they occasionally get a certain feeling that things are gonna turn out bad, and they always leave the moment they get said feeling. Other than that, and the fact he was forced to play football (er, soccer) briefly when he was younger, and that they got dragged to an amusement park at some point, we don’t know too much about Jeff. Which means there’s room for speculation!

My current guess of what theme Jeff’s character will play into is the whole idea that “you miss all the shots you don’t take” or something. You know, the thing the fangan seems to be named after, and Ellis mentions early into the Prologue. Because Jeff always ditches before the going gets tough, they usually don’t “take any shots”, which is something which could be explored in the future. Even if it isn’t, Jeff’s avoidant behavior could be contrasted (and already is paralleling) with things like Vanessa’s more proactive attitude to the killing game, or Robert and Taylor’s desire to fit in instead of distancing themselves from others, you get the idea.

Finally, and the reason Jeff’s so high up in the “relevance list”, his involvement in the trial. Jeff just so happens to be outside when the murder’s going down, which makes sense with their “bad vibes radar” thing. When shit’s about to go down, their spider sense tingles and they get restless, so they go out to burn off their energy, and find themselves being important in the trial. I wonder if him getting dragged into situations they really don’t want to be in is going to be a recurring thing. We’ll see!

-Mastermind ranking: 14/16. I said Jeff has exactly one goal, and I meant it. He wants to leave. This conflicts with the mm’s desire to… not. Do that. So. Unless they’re lying about literally everything, this one doesn’t look very likely.

Ellis Ortiz

-Original talent guess: Lucky Student -Actual talent: Lucky Student -Talent guess notes: ;) -Likes: Designer brands. Dislikes: Closing hours.

And we finally reach our protagonist! And what a protagonist he is. Not only are their flirtatious antics pretty funny, her attitude towards the killing game is quite the unique one.

As is common with Lucky Students, a lot of it comes from her luck. From what we understand, that luck is generally strictly positive and Ellis mainly applies it to money-making, though he seems to have a sort of conflicted opinion on it. On the one hand, Ellis trusts her luck enough to somewhat firmly believe in their title, as expressed in all the inner monologues where Ellis assures themselves they will survive the killing game no matter what. On the other, Ellis doesn’t like to attribute all her achievements to luck alone, disliking that her title doesn’t acknowledge the actual skill she believes to have in things such as stock trading and gambling. Of course, right now the audience has no idea how much of that perceived skill actually exists and how much of it is just Ellis trying to convince himself he deserves his winnings for reasons other than pure chance. Something to see in the future.

This conflict about her luck carries into Ellis’ general killing game strategy. Or at least, the strategy she’s trying to implement. He first swears to himself that he won’t get attached to the other characters and will treat them only as eye candy, which immediately fails as we see him crying after the class trial. Not to mention, they’re seemingly getting attached to Mark, at least, given their little triple introduction thing. And they're even considering switching strategy to defeating the mastermind after the first trial, as they've noticed that, if it comes down to them or the mm, they may be cooked.

In general, Ellis is pretty bad when it comes to fulfilling promises she makes to herself. There are, for example, many times in the chapter where Ellis promises not to think about things such as the mastermind, followed just a scene or two later by an internal monologue about the mastermind paranoid enough to rival Kennedy’s craziest theories. The persona of confidence and nonchalance that Ellis projects is so far removed from her inner doubts and insecurities, that she keeps switching between paranoid overthinking and complete laidback-ness with enough speed to cause whiplash.

This all comes from Ellis’ complete inability to be honest to himself about his feelings, naturally. Becoming more honest with said feelings is likely going to be a large part of Ellis’ character arc, which could parallel/contrast nicely with people like Taylor (who feels they have to act as someone else to express themselves), or Paris (who doesn’t speak too much about herself and prefers gossiping about others). Plus, the general idea of dishonesty, with oneself or others, can be connected to Antonia’s and Cass’ shared theme of secrets (again, more on that in a moment). However, other parts of his character could play off nicely with a lot of the cast. Ellis’ flirtatious attitude could connect to Davis’ Deal, their bouts of paranoia could play off the Mad Duo, their devil-may-care style of living contrasts Grace’s more reserved lifestyle, their optimism and trying to make the best of the situation is similar to Vanessa’s CH1 attitude and contrary to Jeff’s perspective, you get the idea. Fun character!

I haven’t mentioned it too much, but we also have a lot of info on Ellis’ backstory. He has two younger step-siblings who are “alright”, got started with his exploits by inheritance from his grandpa, he refers to something called the “Ellis Ortiz brand” at some points so he might be relatively well known (assuming he’s not exaggerating his relevance)*, and probably more I’m forgetting (or just skipping due to them being minor details) just because we have a lot more time to learn about Ellis’ backstory than other characters. She is the PoV character after all! In any case, it’s fun stuff.

*Yeah so I fell for the old trick of he unreliable narrator lol. She has (or would have) 5.1k Twitter followers, which is less than fucking Vivi. No one knows who Ellis is, the brand thing's exaggeration xD

-Mastermind ranking: 10/16. Although an mm protag isn’t out of the question (check tags of that post), Ellis doesn’t particularly strike me as one. See, she would need to be an amnesiac mm, the kind that doesn’t even know they’re the mm before the end of the story. And while there’s never a good way to completely rule that out, I haven’t seen any reason to believe that’s the case either.

Let’s put it like this; if you consider Ellis a potential mm candidate, you also have to consider everyone below her a candidate as well, as anyone could potentially be the type of mm she’d have to be. The only reason she’s higher than them, then, is that this particular type of mm works best with protags. The main reason to create an mm like this would be to prevent internal dialogue from spoiling the mm, which is obviously only a problem for Ellis.

Necessary amnesia aside, Ellis’ stated goals of “get rich, get bitches, have fun” (simplified) don’t really align with the things creating a killing game would accomplish. And while it’s possible Ellis changed in the period of lost memories, we have no evidence of that, so. Yeah, not very likely :v

Cassidy Torres

-Original talent guess: Writer. -Actual talent: Agent. -Talent prediction notes: I mean. I had a pen to work with. I wasn’t getting that xD -Likes: Getting info. Dislikes: Stubborn people.

Victim coming through! And what a victim Cass is. You know, it’s always hard to make the audience care about the CH1 victim, given they’re definitionally the character who’s alive for the shortest amount of time, but having a major twist about them happen during the trial is a hell of a way to do that! The reveal of Cass’ true talent is the kind of thing that makes you do the character analysis backwards, starting at the end with the reveal and piecing it together (heh) from there.

Well, we saw two Cass introductions, so why not confirm?

[Cass] [Prologue, 37]: Lucky Student, huh? That’s an all-around useful talent. Still though, it’s weird… Why is no one here talented at making things, or having something to sell…? Ellis: Hey, who says I’m not talented at “making” something? [Cass]: I should clarify, I’m referring to making something physical. Something that one might, say, need someone to critique and/or help them market to higher ups. They extend their hand to me. [Cass]: I’m Cassidy Torres, or Cass for short, she/they. And, here, I guess I’m the Ultimate Agent.

Cass [Prologue Bonus Scenes, 9]: It’s great to meet you, Grace. My name is Cassidy Torres– Cass for short– and I use she/they. I’m the Ultimate Agent. After we shake hands, Cass looks at me approvingly. Cass: It’s about time I met an Ultimate who actually creates something. My talent is pretty useless without anything to market, so I was hoping I’d be able to help at least one of you with my services. As it turns out, the last person I met was the one who best fit the description.

Yep, pretty much exactly what the others said. Cass was quick to mention sales and creating products so as to now get found out, even though funnily enough Ellis almost got it.

Ellis [Prologue, 38]: Agent, huh? So, I shouldn’t be surprised when you pull out some spy-like leather suit? Cass: Oh, it’s nothing like that. Though I’ve definitely worn my fair share of suits…

Cass is quick with it :O

Although I think Cass’ Agent skills shine most when you can see the full extent of their internal monologue.

Kennedy [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 10]: Found you! Kennedy has, apparently, tracked me down to the Show Room, which I had assumed no one would really want to spend time in. This doesn’t contradict that data point, though; if Kennedy was looking for me specifically, as evidenced by their words, then it’s my presence rather than any qualities of the Show Room itself that led them here. Probably best to play dumb, though.

Bro. Even if Kennedy hadn’t said “found you”, you could’ve just asked them what they were doing in the Show Room without that analysis. Which you do.

Cass [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 10]: Were you looking for me?

You’re putting my overthinking to shame, you gotta relax! (Kidding, I really enjoy the overkill analysis there xD).

Cass’ skill is actually very fun to really think about. They had to come up with the cover story of being a salesperson on the spot when they got their talent, which is kinda crazy. And she still managed to come up with stuff like specific phrases and words that would always get a reaction of her cover character! What!

Kennedy [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 12]: Isn’t this a good opportunity for you? “Opportunity” acts like a trigger phrase. Right. I need to be charading as the Ultimate non-secret Agent. I make a show of sighing. Cass: I suppose passing up on a good opportunity is typically a bad thing. But, an opportunity for what?

I have no way of knowing how accurate of a depiction of secret agents this is, but I can say it's a pretty cool description to read about.

This does mean that a lot of Cass’ dialogue ends up being nothing but part of an act, a problem for character analysis. But there’s still plenty to work with, especially because her talent deeply relates to the main theme connecting her and Antonia: secrets, the things people will do to uncover them, and the extent people are willing to go to keep them.

Antonia [CH1, 52]: From what I’ve determined, you may be the one hiding the biggest secret here, Cassidy. Cass: I’m sorry? Antonia: I know a liar when I see one~ A liar? But, what would Cass have to lie about…? Unless…? Cass: What are you accusing me of, exactly? Antonia: I’m not sure what. You could be the mastermind, or the possessor of the poison, or any number of things. All I can tell is that you’re guarded. There are things you don’t want us to learn. Isn’t that right?

Cass [To Antonia, CH1, 52]: …Fine. If you won’t tell your secrets, I won’t tell mine.

Antonia [CH1, 148]: We weren’t dealing with only the mastermind, darling. We were dealing with “secrets.”

I’ll get to Antonia’s secrets in her section, but Cass obviously had a pretty big one of their own, not to mention that her entire talent is based around uncovering hidden truths. The secrets these two keep are what ultimately creates the conflict which will end with Cass’ death and Antonia’s execution. After all, Antonia’s general suspicion regarding the fact they were keeping a secret at all is really the reason why Cass ended up suspecting Antonia so much. Because while they originally held Antonia in the same regard as Ellis or Mark in terms of mm possibility, they still end up antagonizing Antonia specifically, possibly because they feel threatened by Antonia’s immaculate liar detector. Now, make no mistake, Cass made up an in-persona reason to be a secret-keeper, so it’s not like Antonia’s lie detector is immediately damning to them, but it’s still a pretty large threat.

Cass [CH1, 52]: …I can’t reveal everything so easily. My clients have sensitive information, and my trust with them is more important than getting to know any of you. If I feel distant, that’s all it is. Ellis: Wouldn’t you want your clients to have a friendly relationship with you, though…? Cass: Of course. But, at least as of now, none of you are my clients, so those who I represent are of greater concern to me.

Of course, though, there’s also the possibility that Cass just clocked Antonia as a liar the same way Antonia clocked them, even if it’s never explicitly stated, and that’s the entire reason for their suspicion.

Cass [CH1, 59]: I will figure out your secrets. Antonia: Of course you will, darling.

Actually, the idea that Cass felt threatened in some way by Antonia’s ability to spot liars could play into something interesting with these two’s profiles. Cass dislikes “stubborn people”, while Antonia dislikes “bad losers.” You could make the argument that Antonia is stubborn in the sense that she’s good at standing her ground against Cass’ prodding for secrets, and that Cass may be a bad loser in the sense that she may feel she “lost” to Antonia when the Dealer noticed she was hiding something, and clearly isn’t happy about it.

[Cass’ inner monologue] [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 10]: It’s hard to say I’m anything but annoyed as I leave the Buffet. Antonia is still playing at the same games as always…

Not sure if this interpretation works perfectly, but close enough, and it's pretty cool. Eternal beef, these two.

In any case, regardless of what exactly led Cass to focus so much on Antonia, the end result is the same. Antonia figures out she’s being spied on, and chooses to deal with that issue before it could grow into anything bigger. Hence, Cass’ death.

Although, here’s an interesting point related to the murder. Isn’t Cass a hypocrite?

Cass [CH1, 35]: Everyone, calm down! The group settles down and turns to Cass. Cass: [Someone asking for poison from the CSD] is obviously a threat, and we should take caution knowing that someone here may be plotting a murder already. However, blatantly throwing around distrust and creating an air of paranoia will only make tensions higher. Mark: Then… what should we do? Cass: The same things you’ve been doing. All you need to do is keep an eye out for any suspicious activity and engage in safe behavior. Stay in groups or well-lit areas. Don’t go out at night. Those sorts of things should keep you safe enough while we figure out the mysteries of this place.

“Don’t go out at night”, she says, a few days before going out at night and dying. “Don’t create an air of paranoia”, she says, shortly before beefing with Antonia so obviously that everyone noticed something was going on even before Paris said anything. Not great at following their own advice, evidently.

Although that second point is slightly unfair, actually. Cass doesn’t actually accuse Antonia and gang of being the mm at first, it’s Antonia herself who brings the implicit accusation to light. In the same vein, she refuses to say who she suspects in her discussion with Kennedy and Vivi and Ellis about the mm before that.

Kennedy [CH1, 32]: Cass… If you can say who you don’t think it is, that means there are some people you do suspect. Cass: I have a couple leading theories. Kennedy: Tell me. Cass: I’m not going to go around voicing all of my thoughts. Besides, it’s… not fitting for an agent to talk negatively about people. What if a future client heard of it and was worried about what I’d do with their secrets?

Antonia [CH1, 51]: I assure you, the real dynamics between different establishments are far more complex… Cass: Do you have insight into the dynamics, then? Do you know anyone who might hold a grudge? Antonia: With all due respect, my dear Cassidy, are you trying to determine if one of us is the mastermind?

The point about the night stands, though. And it’s worth noting that Cass likely didn’t have ulterior motives in saying that or anything, as she does seem to be genuinely concerned for the others’ safety.

Davis [CH1, 58]: I take it you all were drinking last night…? Jeff: Yeah? What’s the big deal? Cass: That doesn’t sound like you were being particularly safe, given our environment.

And it makes sense. When they talk about their goals in their Bonus Scene with Grace, they specifically say that their goal can be “approximated” to figuring out the secrets of the Resort and getting out with everyone.

Grace [Prologue Bonus Scenes, 10]: What are your long-term goals, if I might ask? They smile. Cass: I’m not gonna go around talking about that kind of thing immediately, especially not with cameras everywhere. I’ve got big plans once I’m back out in the real world. But, foundations are laid here. She looks around the room, though nothing in particular seems to catch her interest. Cass: If you’re looking for what’s motivating me, for now, you can approximate it to figuring out what’s going on at this Resort and getting everyone out of this situation safely.

More on those goals in a moment, but for now, what matters is that Cass is genuinely invested in the safety of the others and wants to escape with everyone, so her warnings about not going out at night are genuine. That means the only reason they would go against their advice is if they considered themselves capable of avoiding issues, probably because of their talent.

Huh. Overly relying on her talent to keep her safe while she carries out a plan no one else knows anything about? That’d be like a Lucky Student relying on their luck to survive through the killing game, with a plan of outlasting everyone else that they don’t discuss with anyone. Wink.

Anyways, I left this question pending, so let’s get back to it. What the hell are Cass’ long term goals? All we really know is that she’s motivated to figure out the Resort’s secrets and get everyone out of there, but supposedly these are just the “foundations” of her goals. They also say that talking to Grace is related to the goal, but as they say, that’s mostly just because gathering info on those around them is helpful in their eyes.

Cass [Prologue Bonus Scenes, 10]: I’d call [talking to you about marketing] related to my goals, personally. Grace: Your goal of gaining clients? Like I said, that isn’t– Cass: No, in general. Isn’t it helpful to know people better, if you’re trying to work with them? I pause. Grace: I suppose that’s a fair perspective. Cass: Believe me, I understand. I don’t waste time talking to just anyone if I don’t believe it’ll help me achieve my long-term goals. But if I decide it’s worth it, I’m not easily swayed. Right now, I’ve decided I want to talk to you, and that’s the best use of my time.

Now, I can’t for the life of me reach anything resembling a solid answer, for obvious reasons. It’s entirely possible, for one, that these goals aren’t important and will never actually be brought up in the main story, seeing as they’re only really mentioned in a Bonus Scene. In that case, we may never have enough info to come to any definitive conclusion about it.

However, it’s possible that Cass’ name will come up again, because her goals could very well have to do with the very foundations of the killing game and the situation in the outside world. For example, it’s possible that they were investigating the resort itself or some kind of aspect of the Tragedy, and they got close enough that the mm decided to wipe their memories of the bigger secrets and just stick them in a killing game. Depending on how much she remembers, she could very well have had some inkling about what’s really going on, enough to know that there were bigger plans outside that she was a part of, possibly focused on taking down groups doing Tragedy stuff.

Or I’m going completely fucking insane, which I think is the more likely option in this case. Regardless, I don’t really have any more concrete ideas on what the hell she was up to at the moment, so I’ll leave it at that. Dear god what a character.

-Mastermind ranking: 16/16. I mean. They’re dead. And deny they’re the mm in inner monologue. It doesn’t really get less mastermind-y than that.

Kennedy [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 12]: Then, based on my deductions, you would be the most likely mastermind candidate. Cass: Wh–?! What kind of a strategy is that?! Besides, it’s obviously wrong…!

Antonia Cisneros

-Original talent guess: Gambler/Poker Player -Actual talent: Dealer -Talent prediction notes: Wrong side of the table :v -Likes: Nightlife. Dislikes: Bad losers.

Guess who got unreasonably attached to the CH1 killer, again? This guy!

Antonia’s fun, both because of how entertaining I find (er, found) her personality, and how many mindgames my girl actually plays. The insane standoff from her Bonus Scene with Paris in the Prologue, her constant beefing with Cass, the entire trial… that kinda thing. In fact, there’s so many mindgames and potential lies going around, we might have to take this chronologically!

The first big thing we learn about Antonia in CH1 is the existence of her little sister (also mentioned in the Paris Bonus Scene), and how this helps her form a quick bond with Vanessa.

Antonia [CH1, 42]: It’s very charming, how excited Vanessa gets. It reminds me of my younger sister. She was always a ball of energy. Mark: You mentioned her at the talent show, too… Vanessa: Toni’s really sweet and caring when it comes to her sister, from what I’ve heard. And she sorta acts like a big sister to me, too!

However, this starts an interesting trend in how Antonia actually talks about Vanessa and her connection to Antonia’s sister. Take a look at the two other instances where this comes up:

Antonia [CH1, 138]: For instance, Vanessa reminds me of my younger sister. I would be unable to willingly sign her death warrant, even indirectly through the Class Trial.

Noah [CH1, 148]: All that stuff about [Vanessa] being like your sister… Were you lying about that, too? Antonia: Hm? Oh, no. She does, in fact, remind me of my sister. But that isn’t enough to stop me from acting in my own best interests.

Antonia never directly claims to care for Vanessa as she would a sister, all she ever says is that Vanessa reminds her of her actual sister. Antonia just says they share similarities, and doesn’t ever concretely express how that makes her feel. The only time she actually compliments Vanessa directly, she also compliments Ellis at the same time, someone who she doesn’t have the same kind of bond with.

Mark [CH1, 44]: Are we… actually doing this…? Antonia: Well, if it makes these two wonderful people happy, then I don’t see what the harm could be.

Now, I could be wrong about this, but to me it feels like while Antonia enjoyed Vanessa’s presence because of the sister thing, she didn’t do so to the extent that she led the others to believe. She simply allowed Vanessa’s enthusiasm to speak for the both of them, giving the impression of a much closer bond than what she genuinely felt, and she tried to take advantage of that flawed perception during the Third Party Analysis. Whether this lie of omission was originally just to make Ness feel better, or if Antonia was always planning to use this as a “card up her sleeve” (heh) to argue her innocence in a class trial, I genuinely can’t tell because everyone in this fangan (and especially Antonia herself) is a massive tryhard when it comes to killing game tactics.

Then again, I could always be overthinking it.

Antonia [CH1, 43]: No worries, Mark. It’s only natural. Mark: Why do you say it like that…? Antonia: Oh, I’ve just never been fond of using nicknames. But, in your case, I suppose it can’t be helped.

Antonia doesn’t like using nicknames, which is… interesting. Wonder if we’ll ever find out why that’s a thing, if there even is a reason beyond personal preference.

Antonia [CH1, 44]: A party is… something we could consider, though I do wonder where we would hold it. Vanessa: I mean, for open space and lighting, the Casino, right? Antonia: …I would rather not.

This never got explicitly explained, right? Why Antonia didn’t want a party at the casino? It’s not like she was planning to murder Cass specifically already, since Cass hadn’t started accusing her yet. And Cass only died in the casino because Antonia could lure her there since Cass was following her around. This might be a question to ask her once we get access to ouija boards after the fangan’s over. Or maybe not, who knows.

Antonia [CH1, 46]: Aren’t we a little too fixated on what isn’t here? If we all share each other’s company, we should be enjoying ourselves. There’s no point in doing anything otherwise.

This is wild coming from the woman who ordered poison from the CSD the morning of the day this got said. Incidentally, you’ll notice this is pretty close to Vanessa’s perspective on the killing game, although Antonia’s actually referring to Jeff’s absence from that meal and not the outside world. Neat!

Ellis [CH1, 51]: Maybe it’s, like, a rival casino owner trying to incite a scandal. That sounds like something that could happen in a cartoon. Antonia: I assure you, the real dynamics between different establishments are far more complex… Cass: Do you have insight into the dynamics, then? Do you know anyone who might hold a grudge? Antonia: With all due respect, my dear Cassidy, are you trying to determine if one of us is the mastermind?

Finally, we get to the Cass beef! And even from the start, we can start gathering just how important the theme of secrets is for these two, as I already mentioned in the Cass section. By very obviously deflecting the question about casino dynamics before Cass could press further, Antonia tries to keep her secrets by stopping the line of questioning about her life outside the killing game dead on its tracks.

But this is all stuff we covered with Cass. The question we left pending was what exactly Antonia’s secrets are, since we can be relatively sure she isn’t the mm now that she's dead.

Antonia [CH1, 148]: We weren’t dealing with only the mastermind, darling. We were dealing with “secrets.” And, while I may not want to say them here, I have things in my past I’d rather not share, especially if I were to attempt a murder. Mark: Like how you knew how to cut and sew the body…? Antonia: Something like that.

For this query, we can focus on the fact that, by saying she’d like to keep her secrets “especially if she were to attempt a murder,” Antonia implies the reveal of her secrets would inconvenience her during a class trial. Not to mention her response to Mark’s question, about the possible connection between her secrets and her dismemberment skills. And if that’s the case, then...

Mark [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 18]: I’ve given my theories. We’re about to explore the possibilities in the Class Trial. I thought your insight could be helpful. Antonia: But of course. Antonia twirls her hair around her finger with an absentminded look in her eyes. Antonia: Well, I do believe our killer wouldn’t be a first-time murderer.

Uh.

Antonia [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 18]: Does it really surprise you? The speed at which they killed, the brutality of the method, the skills dismembering the body must take… None of those are things you can simply dream up overnight. Mark: Probably true.

Ehem.

Mark [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 19]: But, based on what you were saying… I doubt this is only their second kill, either. This is someone who knows what they’re doing. Antonia: Is there much of a difference between a second murder and a hundredth? You’re already a murderer either way.

Hey guys Antonia might just be a serial killer.

I mean, isn’t that what this looks like? She’s saying she believes the blackened had killed before the killing game, and Mark says that they probably killed multiple times, and Antonia is the blackened. Certainly sounds like she’s letting the truth slip as a hypothetical. Now, she does give an alternate explanation of why she says the things she does in the Bonus Scene:

Antonia [CH1 Bonus Scenes, 20]: We’re simply speculating as to the killer’s mindset, aren’t we? To better understand how someone willing to take a life– no, multiple lives– might think of the world. Disregard my opinion if you’d like, but I’ve listened to many people talk, criminal and otherwise.

However, that doesn’t account for Mark saying that the killer’s skill could indicate they were, in fact, a serial killer. And besides, the best liars know when to tell the truth, because doing so removes the possibility of you losing credibility if you’re caught through tells or other means.

This is actually a pretty convenient narrative for Antonia to spin. See, if the brutality of the murder is because the blackened was already a serial killer, then it can’t be used to argue against anyone in particular, as any of the participants could realistically be the hidden serial killer. However, if you discount that possibility, then one could argue the brutality is born from a grudge the killer had against Cass. And while Antonia wasn’t the only person Cass suspected of being the mm, she sure was Cass’ number 1 rival. Thus, such an argument could land Antonia in a dangerous position. And without precedent of how this cast would act in the trial, Antonia would have no reason to believe she’d be able to defend against it in a way that would convince the others, at least not without throwing in the “serial killer” angle anyways.

I… hope that made sense.

The point is, this is a convenient thing for Antonia to say regardless of whether or not it’s true. And of course, if this really is her secret, this would be something that she really wouldn’t want to be revealed if she wanted to ever win a class trial, and it is in fact connected with her dismemberment skills, the two aspects of the secret we discussed before.

Seeing as Antonia could very well be telling the truth in the Bonus Scene, the previously mentioned line about her secret being inconvenient for trials and related to the dismemberment thing, and the arguments brought up in said Bonus Scene about the blackened’s skill and chosen method implying a serial killer, I’d say there’s a compelling argument to say that Antonia is, in fact, a serial killer. Which we could probably also infer from the fact that, since the killer asked for the boxes the same day they asked for the poison, Antonia really was ready to dismember someone from Day 3.

Am I 100% confident in saying that? No, obviously. But it is what I find most likely at this point.

Another question to ask would be what reason Antonia would have to murder someone before the killing game. And, since we already established that I don’t think her thoughts in the CH1 Bonus Scene are as hypothetical as she leads Mark to believe, we can try to infer something based on that, too.

Antonia [CH1, 19]: Well, with all of our other pursuits, do you really believe someone would kill just for the thrill of it? If we’ve all achieved great things, it stands to reason that whoever committed such a crime in the past would be doing so for a dedicated goal. Thus, killing would become a sacrifice to further that goal.

Assuming she’s not making this up on the spot, this could imply that her serial killing has to do with her talent… whatever that looks like. It’s worth noting that this “hypothetical” mindset actually does match at least one of Antonia’s own lines post trial, considering murdering people as a means to an end and a “small price to pay”:

Robert [CH1, 149]: You’re still talking about killing someone. You still made that decision… Antonia: If that’s all I have to do to end my imprisonment and guarantee my safety, it’s a rather small price to pay, isn’t it? Vanessa: B-but… what are we supposed to do now…? Antonia: It’s of no concern to me. Continue playing along with your fake peace, or turn on each other. All I know is that, eventually, someone won’t be able to take it anymore, and that person will remember that all they have to do to end it all is kill. It’s not such a large price, when you put it that way.

Obviously I don’t have any way to speculate further without just throwing random shit at the wall (eliminating Dealer competition maybe?), so I’ll leave my official theory at just that. Antonia killed to become the Ultimate Dealer, and has evidently done it quite a bit!

Alright, so what do we do with this? Well, it’s hard to tell when I can’t even be sure this will ever be brought up in the main section of the fangan anyways. But I imagine the ideas of ambition (relating her murders to her talent) and the lengths people will go to keep secrets might come back up later, and it’ll be fun contrasting other people’s actions to Antonia’s with that in mind. Considering some of the other themes we’ve discussed, you could even tie Antonia’s desensitization to murder into the ideas of normality discussed before, where the concept of “normal” is very subjective. After all, Antonia seems to consider what she did to Cass relatively normal for her, right?

And of course, this desensitization to murder somewhat parallels Ellis’ plan of “let everyone die and dip”, since it’s effectively the same plan Antonia had, just without directly murdering anyone. A parallel which is furthered by Antonia’s belief in the “house”:

Antonia [CH1, 148]: Because I didn’t want to play with fire. The establishment wants one winner, and the house always wins in the end. One of these days, one person will win. If fifteen will die, I liked my odds of being the last one standing better when I put myself directly in the position to win, rather than waiting around for others to make mistakes.

The same way that Ellis fully believes in his ability to win the killing game by coasting off his luck, Antonia is entirely confident that the house will get its way in the end. It’s only natural for the Dealer to align herself with the house by playing the game in earnest, while the gambler tries to luck out and get one over on the house by surviving without murdering. But in the end, both of them see it entirely as a game to be won, and not so much a hardship to be overcome. How such a wonderful parallel happened when the characters are written by two different people, I will never know, but it’s genuinely super impressive.

Anyways, let’s cover a few lines here and there that are cool but I couldn’t fit into the main analysis.

Antonia [CH1, 68]: …Apologies for disturbing all your thoughts, but… has anyone seen Cassidy this morning?

I think it’s cool that Antonia is actually the one that first brings up Cass’ absence. She needs to make sure everyone’s looking at the boxes when they open for the BDA disguising trick, after all!

In the interest of getting this post out sometime in 2025, I’m going to skip over a couple of cool moments during the trial itself, but just know that I think Antonia was pretty decent throughout, and you already know how cool I found her calm demeanor directly preceding the Third Party Analysis and her counterarguments after. Though for more specific lines:

Antonia [CH1, 106]: There actually isn’t any way to delete a message from an e-Handbook once sent, on either end. I expect this, in combination with the rule against stealing e-Handbooks, is intended to add extra challenge for the killer.

Do we think Antonia tried deleting the messages between Cass and Jeff when she had Cass’ E-Handbook? I wonder what exactly her plan would have been with that. Maybe framing Jeff by pointing out the messages’ deletion as weird? Shame it didn’t work.

Antonia [CH1, 146]: I suppose you all think this is the answer? That I’ve created an elaborate plan to make myself an undercover killer, and that Cassidy is some eternal force of good?

I really wonder what the “eternal force of good” comment is about, but I have genuinely zero idea what it could refer to :p To me it implies Antonia didn’t think of Cass that way, but I could be overthinking it.

Antonia [CH1, 148]: I suppose… I am slightly sorry, for roping you into all of this.

For all the serial killer talk, I do want it on record that Antonia is not entirely heartless. She did feel sorry, to some extent, for her actions, and it’s pretty clear she cared about her sister outside of the killing game. That’s cool :)

Though it’s worth noting she doesn’t apologize to Cass so much as she apologizes to the others for “roping them in”. I guess it’s an extension of the philosophy that Cass can’t care about anything now that she’s a corpse, so apologies to them are unnecessary.

-Mastermind ranking: 15/16. I’ll let her do the honors of explaining why she’s this low:

Kennedy [CH1, 147]: Was Cass right? Are you the mastermind?! Antonia pauses for a moment, then bursts into a fit of laughter. Antonia: Of course not! If I were, why would I be playing by the rules of this silly game?

Final MM Rankings: Cass - Antonia - Jeff - Vanessa - Kennedy - Vivi - Ellis - Mark - Aidan - Harper - Noah - Robert - Taylor - Davis - Grace - Paris

Holy hell how did I avoid problems with color coding here of all places?

Woo! Alright, that took longer than I expected, but 16k words later, we got our analysis! My excitement for this fangan grows with every part release, and really digging into the characters for this post has made me appreciate them all the more! Anyways, thanks for reading! If you made it this far, you’ve earned a royal flush! Ask Antonia for whatever money you just made- oh, wait. Uh. You can't... really do that. Anyways, see ya’!

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coraniaid · 1 year ago

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I really do think that the least interesting way to approach any longform narrative written over the course of several years by different writers is to act as if it everything that happens in it must somehow be internally consistent. Especially when we're talking about television writers with an (at best) flexible approach to world building and logical consistency; writers with a clear willingness to abandon previously established facts about the setting if it allows for (what they think will be) a more interesting story in the moment. In such a context it is just not sensible to insist that any late season retcons definitively establish some singular Truth about how the show Really Worked in its original seasons.

Specifically (and I'm aware I wasn't being very vague before) the idea that the (often rather bad) writing of Buffy's later seasons establishes definitive Facts about the world of the first few seasons which, if they contradict earlier claims, mean the original world-building lore we were given must actually have been examples of the in-universe characters being wrong or telling deliberate lies is, I'm sorry, almost offensively stupid. We don't "find out more" about the rules of how the world works in later seasons of the show in a way that implies these rules always existed in some fixed and unchanging state. The world of the show has no such rules because it does not, in fact, exist. What happened is that the later writers of the show (who were mostly different people) had different ideas about what would make for an interesting story (and unfortunately these were mostly worse ideas).

There seems to be a bizarrely popular take online that says you can't really understand the first few seasons of Buffy until you've watched the later ones, as if the entirety of Buffy is a single coherent narrative meticulously planned out from the beginning in advance. But you do all get that that is absurd, right? Yes, sometimes the show frequently changes its position on how its worldbuilding is supposed to work, but that's not because the writers are slowly revealing something they had planned out years earlier and knowingly had characters lie to each other about. It's because they are making things up as they go (which, to be clear, is more difficult and significantly more impressive when done well).

The reason Giles claims in Season 1's Witch to have never cast a spell before is that the writers had no inkling of the backstory they were going to give him next season. You obviously can go back and interpret this as a lie Giles is telling Buffy for some reason, but it doesn't meaningfully improve your understanding of the episode to do this. Similarly, the reason that nobody in the show talks about a "Watcher's Council" until Season 3 is that before Season 3 the writers had no conception of such a thing. It's fun to come up with in-universe reasons for why Giles might not mention the Council, even when meetin a second Slayer, but I think we should admit than when we do this we're engaged in something closer to fanfiction than analysis.

We don't "find out" that the character of Anya introduced in The Wish was probably autistic even before becoming a vengeance demon: the writers just changed their mind about how her character worked and why she acted that way (and indeed in The Wish itself she doesn't act that way at all; Anya being "strangely literal" didn't really take hold as a character trait until the show's fourth season). It is not "revealed" that Buffy tried telling her parents about vampires before the show began and they had her locked up: this is just a particularly stupid retcon that doesn't make any sense if you actually remember the first two seasons (woud Buffy joke with her mom about being distracted by thoughts of "saving the world from vampires" in Bad Eggs if the last time she'd mentioned vampires to her mom she'd been institutionalized?). We don't "learn" that Giles and Buffy were always wrong about people not "turning into" vampires (meaning they were specifically wrong about people like Jesse and Ford, and that Buffy herself is some sort of unrepentant mass murderer): the later writers who imply that this is what happens after all just didn't care about continuity (or what this change would mean for the morality of the show's protagonist's entire reason for being).

You have to watch each season of the show as if it were telling you the truth about its world building as the writers understood it at the time, or none of them make any sense. That is, in fact, how you have to watch most television of this form: there was no long term master plan. There is no singular truth about what "really" happened. The rules of the setting are just subtly (or not so subtly) different from season to season. Nobody writing Season 1 of the show had the slightest idea what would happen in Season 7 and anyone who suggests otherwise is full of shit.

#btvs

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screemnch · 2 years ago

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The Pathologic Russian and English analysis: Bachelor Daniil Dankovsky

So uhhh.... Turns out my priorities aren't as messed up as I thought, which is why it took me a whole month just to finish this thing. Let's cover some basics shall we? The approximate structure will, depending on the length of this analysis, go as follows: I’m gonna tackle Patho Classic and the three healers from each other’s perspective, look at shared dialogue options and then talk about all the other important NPCs and how they interact with the playable characters. Since Patho 2 only has the Haruspex run, we’re gonna move through that a lot faster in a similar fashion, and then we’ll look over Marble Nest.

What I’m going to be focusing on: there’s a huge amount of dialogue between all the characters in the story, and I couldn’t possibly note down all the differences at once. I will mainly be trying to relay the “voice” of the character that is present in the original Russian version and noting the biggest differences. If there are also pieces of dialogue that shine a different light on a few story aspects, I will point these out too. Mainly I will talk about how the characters in these interactions seem to treat each other (which will be difficult, since opinions of characters change frequently in this game), note interesting mannerisms and sometimes quote the fun differences and try and fail to explain why the use of this specific idiom is funny in this context. Sooooo yeah.

The Bachelor

The Bachelor in the other characters’ campaigns is, as we all know, a drastically different character. Before I dive nose deep, I’m gonna establish what kind of impression we have of our English Bachelor, so we can compare and contrast things easily.

Daniil in the English version is, as we all know, a prickly prick. He speaks in a usually rather conceited manner, gets irritated with people easily and likes to throw in latin phrases at random points. He sees himself as smarter than everyone else which then in turn leads to him being manipulated by most people that he meets. He’s having a no good, very bad week and he will let people know about it. In the Haruspex campaign the “asshole” part of his character seems to be a bit diminished, and when watching him interact with Artemy, I almost saw something similar to… Respect? He even appeals to Artemy’s knowledge of the kin, as opposed to his own Capital beliefs, when asking him to save the Polyhedron. In the Changeling campaign the Bachelor’s prickly prick factor is ramped up to a hundred. He’s arrogant, talks down to Clara while also being heavily dependent on her and does his best to seem unaffected by all the shit hitting the fan.

Overall, he does give off an impression of a capital dandy that’s in way over his head in both campaigns, and has a very distinct voice and mannerisms. Partially I’d attribute that to the fact that the speech quirk of “randomly starts speaking latin like a pretentious asshole” was a rather easy thing to translate. So, what do we get when we meet the Bachelor in Russian?

As the Haruspex: Before I even discuss the tone, I want to set a little groundwork - although it might be something people already know if they're that deep into learning about an obscure Russian game. And that is - the use of “you” in the Russian language. Similar to German, we have two versions: formal and informal.

The formal version - “вы” (vy - phonetics are difficult) - is used in Russian when referring to strangers, figures of authority, people older than you, people whom you respect, as well as a group of people.

The informal version - “ты” (ty - once again, phonetics are stupid) - is used when speaking to a friend, someone younger than you (like a child), someone you have no respect for, or someone you’re familiar with. Also family, even if they’re older. This being said, for 90% of the time in the Haruspex campaign, the Bachelor uses the informal “you” when speaking to Artemy. More on that as we get into the nitty gritty.

Dankovsky’s tone throughout this campaign is separated into 2 groups - before and after you receive a letter with his list of Bound, where he decides to dedicate himself to the Kain's cause and to saving the Polyhedron. I’m not sure if that is clearly visible in the English version - reading them side by side has blurred a lot of things for me, but it’s quite apparent in the Russian version.

In terms of consistent mannerisms, there is one detail that I think doesn’t shine as well in English as it does in Russian. You’d think that our bachelor of medicine would speak in a very formal tone, using big boy words and scientific terms only. You would be wrong.

The Bachelor speaks in very “deliberate” sentences. It’s like he is trying to get all the possible clarifications out of the way, before getting to the point of the sentence. That doesn’t make him sound formal or anything. He uses diminutives and “rough” words every now and then, and doesn’t overcomplicate his sentences too much.When I say rough words, I don’t mean cussing, per se. In fact, other than the equivalent of “damn” (which literally translates into something like “imp”) Daniil doesn’t swear at all. Even when he calls the Haruspex a bastard in English, in Russian it’s a lot softer and more akin to “scoundrel.” Rough words, I guess, would be more like… “Lower-class” slang terms. I say lower-class because for a long time many words in Russia were considered to be unacceptable, since they were, or at least were reminiscent of, prison talk. The closest example I can think of in English is the way one person might say “making love” and another one might say “screwing.” Except in Russian, there are “rough” words for eating, going somewhere, etc. And the Bachelor, even though you’d expect him to be a high-strung formal ass, is very liberal with those words. This goes into contrast with what we get in the English version, where he seems to mostly use very formal language, except for a few moments of frustration.

In the first half of the Haruspex campaign, Daniil speaks in an overall warmer tone, starting out with what seems to be boundless enthusiasm. It’s only slightly mitigated by the frustration towards the townspeople. In English he sounds like he’s only frustrated, but in Russian it sounds like he’s frustrated because of how much he wants to help. He expresses a lot of his frustration by riddling his speech with tiny connector words, as if rushing the other person to respond. It’s like if there were a bunch of different alternatives to the word “then,” and you’d see him being like “Well tell me then, what, then, is this thing?” This creates an appearance of impatience, desperation, and helplessness. Which is what I imagine the player would feel at that time in the Bachelor run. Anyways, now onto the fun little details.

Everyone’s beloved “far be it from me to call myself a person of mystical inclinations...” line is, for the most part, pretty accurate. The biggest difference, from what I found, is in the first sentence itself. In Russian, it’s simply “Yes… Mystical feelings/sensations are alien/foreign to me.” Everything else is pretty much the same. Though, tone wise, the sheer presence of an informal “you” makes it a lot more personal. Instead of someone talking about an odd, otherworldly and foreboding feeling, the tone is more of a person bitterly commenting on an unfortunate and cruel burden that they realise they share with another person.

Day 2 and it’s main quest have a fun little detail that I will talk about later when we discuss formalities a little more, but for now I will simply note that throughout all of Day 2, the Bachelor speaks to Burakh using the formal version of “you” (and being addressed informally right back). But also, in one of the dialogues that happens during that quest Artemy says “I’m beginning to like you, oynon” the Russian version instead has “I’m liking you more and more, oynon” which is a fun detail that I think some people may appreciate.After examining the samples, you can ask the Bachelor what he is working on now. In his reply he says he’s looking for the sources of the outbreak and needs hard evidence. In the Russian text, he specifically says he needs evidence of himself being right. In the rest of his dialogues he seems rather open-minded to unorthodox practices, as much as he sneers at them, but in this particular case he seems focused specifically on being correct, rather than right. Not too empirical of him, smh.

I found this difference absolutely hilarious. I imagine the main reason that this line was translated the way it was is because they wanted to maintain the tone of suspicion coming from the Bachelor. In a more literal translation (and keep in mind, this all has a bunch of little words strewn in to pad out the sentences) Dankovsky says something more like “And what sort of specimen is that?” except it’s not “specimen” it’s “subject” which in Russian can point to a person, and it’s very difficult to convey the absolute snark that comes with this question. Imagine a suburban mother in a polka dot apron and red glasses, as she stares down a dead bird that her child has brought in from the backyard. There’s suspicion, a hint of disgust, and a demand to know why this is being brought to their attention. That being said, I don’t know if there was a better way to translate this. Maybe “Who the hell is that?” is the best way to convey this. I just wanted to point out how starkly different it is in Russian.

Interesting difference here: in the English version the Bachelor says “Your father was a natural.” Here, the specific word used usually refers to a gemstone, something extremely valuable. A literal translation of the word would be “self-born.”

Additionally, Dankovsky seems to speak very fondly of Rubin throughout the campaign. Like, it’s something that’s present in the English version, I guess, but in Russian it genuinely seems that the two share a strong bond. There is a lot more warmth when talking about his expertise, and a lot more concern and sadness, when it's implied that he might be in danger.

Two things about this. 1: The whole “half-dead” thing is absolutely hilarious in Russian. Essentially the word that he uses can be loosely likened to smth like “half-corpselings” with the use of diminutives, as if the bacteria were a bunch of tiny little guys that were about to die. More to my argument that the Bachelor doesn’t sound professional, just very deliberate. Secondly, the whole “Oh yes, I would very much like to have a serious talk with Rubin” makes it sound like he’s an angry parent whose kid is absolutely in trouble. In Russian, he sounds like he’s talking about meeting up with a college buddy, or as if the desire to ask for someone else’s assistance is a sudden urge. That comes specifically from the word he uses - охота (okhóta). The primary meaning of this word is “a hunt.” But it can also mean a desire, or want to do something, often paired with the fact that it’s something that you can’t or won’t do at the moment.

Fucking this. I was so flabbergasted by this line when I came across it, because the entire Haruspex campaign these two get along really well. And then this happens, and it suddenly sounds like the Bachelor is spitefully making fun of Burakh for not finding something that they both believe is impossible to find. Like, it was so mean and petty and out of the blue, it immediately paints an image of someone who lashes out the moment they have to admit defeat - which is not something the Bachelor has been doing so far. In the original Russian dialogue? “Yes, after everything you were unable to find this creature.” Or something to that effect. I’m translating the vibes here to my best ability. Oddly enough, this is one of the instances in which the Bachelor uses the informal version of “you” again. It’s not mockery. This is Daniil drawing the line of all that he could accomplish, but also all the things he tried to help realise, all the people he supported, before he is executed (at least he thinks he will be). He mentions being unable to look in the eye of everyone he failed earlier in the conversation, referring to his colleagues at Thanatica, but at the same time - at this point he’s already insisted that he wants himself and Burakh to collaborate and sees their separate goals as one. Artemy’s unfortunate conclusion is one he feels partially responsible for. The meaning and vibe of the sentence goddamn changes near everything about this interaction! It goes from spiteful gloating of a cornered, near dead man, trying to find solace in another person’s failings, to instead something more akin to… Regret? Pity? Empathy? That’s it, Marble Nest, I’m coming for your “oooh, Bachelor Dankovsky has no heart” bullshit.

That being said, after the Inquisitor’s appearance, the tone that Daniil takes on shifts drastically. I wasn’t able to find or remember when he sends his letter about the Bound, but I’m pretty sure it all happens around the same time. And the main idea of that is - the Bachelor has his own agenda now. He’s found out about what happened to Thanatica and is now dead set on preserving the only other miracle he knows of - the Polyhedron. And, maybe I’m getting a little to interpret-y here, but seeing as the Haruspex can help lead to that goal of his, the Bachelor then starts giving Burakh the same treatment that the Kains have been giving him.

His tone becomes a lot more familiar, a lot more personal. He constantly brings up the things that he’s done for Artemy and the looming threat of the town getting shelled. Oh, and I’m pretty sure around that time he also starts calling him by his first name. He does his best to act like he really cares about what the “udurgh” can be, while pushing his own idea, and condemning Aglaya for doing the same. He also doesn’t use those little exasperated and rushed filler words in his speech, despite the situation being arguably a lot worse. I remember seeing some of that even in the English version, but I don’t know if it’s the fact that I got to see all the dialogue, or that some Russian words just hit different, but it’s a lot more apparent when looking at it now.

Now here’s a moment where I’m a bit lost as to what translation I prefer. I want all these characters to get along in a universe where they’re nice and kind to each other, but that’s simply not Pathologic. Besides, if I’m sticking to my interpretation, I should really be telling y’all that the Russian version is more effective. Because in Russian, dude literally says “I’m sorry if you thought I was condescending” or something to that extent that would imply that him being an ass is simply Burakh’s own misinterpretation. But hey, this is also the conversation in which he decided to “play unfair” and pressure Artemy into speaking to the Foreman in his stead, so it’s not like this changes much. Maybe being manipulated for what, a whole week now, has finally gotten to him, or he’s just gotten familiar enough to use such tactics - interpret it how you will.

More fun differences - when asking the Bachelor about how to get into the Polyhedron, he will mention Maria and Khan getting into a spat and not being on good terms. In Russian, he refers to her as “my Maria” which he hasn’t done before or since (at least between these two).

That’s all I’ve got about the campaign as it is, but I’ve also promised a little tangent about formality and so here it is. Throughout the entire campaign, there are only a few instances in which the Bachelor addresses the Haruspex using the formal version of “you.” Those instances are: 1 - when asking him about his inheritance. 2 - when talking about chimaeras and how they don’t exist before heading off to face the Inquisitor. And 3 - when you’re speaking to him late at night. Instances in which he’s either asking you to leave him alone, or offering to use his own bed to rest in. My theory is that the Bachelor - as far as I’ve read in his interactions with Burakh - switches to a formal tone (with people who he’d usually speak to informally) if he is uncomfortable. Consider: he uses the formal version of “you” when speaking to Artemy about his inheritance - because that’s a really awkward topic. He needs to get crucial information from Isidor’s notes asap, but the person he has to speak to about them is the man’s grieving son, who’s still being blamed for his death. Awkward as hell. Next instance? He thinks he’s about to be offed by the inquisitor and is (at least in my interpretation) expressing a degree of guilt for the failures of someone who’s at the very least an acquaintance at this point. Very uncomfortable, especially for someone with an ego as big as the Bitchelor’s. And lastly - late at night, tired out of his mind, having to either turn away a guest, or offer them his own bed. Both awkward and uncomfortable things to do, for a city boy. Now, this is, of course just from what I can see of Daniil in the Haruspex route, my conclusions might change drastically when I get through the other interactions, but it's still a fun difference.

And I would say that about wraps it up for the Bachelor in the Haruspex run. The biggest differences have been mainly the fact that he is a lot less formal than his English counterpart, the interesting insights that come with addressing your fellow doctor formally, and the very precise moment where Daniil’s kind and determined attitude turns to that of a manipulative snake.

On a quick tangent here about that, actually - in both the English and Russian version, you can very much engage in a way that allows Burakh to catch on to the Bitchelor’s tricks, and even start lying back to him, when you’re trying to gain access to the Polyhedron. But there is a certain bitterness present in these interactions that I’m not sure is well conveyed. Maybe it’s in the way Artemy himself speaks like an old soul, a fairytale wiseman, that makes these interactions that much more saddening. It’s especially visible in the dialogue where he tells Dankovsky that they’re dolls - it’s sad in the English version, but god if it isn’t absolutely tragic in Russian. And weirdly enough, I feel like a little bit more of that could have been conveyed if people opted for the clunkier but more literal translation? Like what I imagine the old translation was, that everyone complained so much about. Like, if the line “They don’t love us, but they way.” was instead. “We aren’t loved, by the way.” I think it’s a bit more personal, a bit more sad, and doesn’t have the “they” in it, which I feel makes it a little more… Potent. In fact, for most of that dialogue, the “they” is omitted in Russian, because grammar and all, except for the moments where Burakh explicitly mentions the children. And I like that more, I think. It’s not about what the powers that be are doing in the sandbox. It’s about how their dolls feel. How they’ve been stuck into this situation and how they aren’t loved. Even the line of “I hope my side wins” is different, instead it’s more like “I hope I’m won with” as if these characters were a means to an end and they are!! They are a means to an end! They’re dolls!! It’s a lot. This is already long enough and I have the Changeling to deal with. However, as this turned out to be a lot longer than anticipated, I will have to give that it's own post as well. Feedback, question or recommendations on how to format this better are always appreciated)

#pathologic #pathologic classic hd #мор утопия #ramblings #daniil dankovsky #artemy burakh #the document in which i wrote this is already 11 pages long #madness project

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zephyrrr101 · 8 months ago

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OMG OMG OMG!!! HOTD SEASON 2 EPISODE 1: BLOOD AND CHEESE!!!

Okayyyyyy! Boy! I just saw it and I have so much to rant and talk about!!!

But before we go into it, for those who hasn't seen it yet,

this is a spoiler! Below the cut

So don't venture if you don't want to loose your fun.

The first and foremost thing we see is Wolf Woods and Winterfell. And man! Did I not feel nostalgic!

Cregan Stark is carrying a sword through out the journey to top of the wall, probably Ice.

I really like the way they have changed Jace here. The hairstyle, the words, the way of talking to a Lord. This Jace is what I connect to, the one we know about in books.

Emma D'Arcy! You woman! I love you! I love you so so so much. Rhaenyra doesn't has more but one dialogue in the whole episode but through out it all I can see her speak. Every scene made me cry. Rhaenyra stands at the edge of castle, looking to anything she could, I would say to even hold a false hope of Luke being alive. Her desperate climb through the stones when she hears fishermen yell about the Dragon wing (Arrax's), her clutching Luke's clothes, looking at last memories that she has of his. It's lovely.

We finally also see Mysaria. Her interaction with Daemon is brilliant. She is shown as who she is. A woman who works for gold. I have no disappointment here.

Larys, you foxxy bastard, look at you trying to put Otto out of his position. Filling both Aegon and Alicent's ears with poison against him.

Aemond, struts into the council room, you cunty little bastard. I loved Ewan every moment of him. That is exactly how I expect Aemond to be.

Aegon. Loved it too. We see him in more than just a sorry ass drunk. Fine-fucking-ly. I like how he takes control of the throne room the second time Otto tries to tell him what to do. I'm really ready to see Otto get kicked out of his position. But boy. You sweet not to sweet anymore summer child, what are you doing. You can't call your unhinged brother loyal as a dog when he's planning war behind your back, something even your granddad is pointing at.

ALICOLE!!! Woohoo you people! Yes they are fucking! They are fucking right the moment when Blood and Cheese come and kill Jaehaeyrs.

While speaking on the matter, (Please don't attack me, this is only my analysis of show and somethings I compare from the book). Blood and cheese is disappointing. To me atleast. Child murder, of course it's not right, very, very, very bad. But I rather like the book part. We have no Maelor up until this stage in the show so it's basically making Helaena choose between her twins which, I'm sorry, looks stupid. The whole point of it was making a choice between two sons. The Greens basic usurpation is based on the fact that Rhaenyra is a woman. So why the hell would Helaena be forced to chose between her daughter and son. It would have been obvious that she would have chosen Jaehaera to be dead over Jaehaeyrs. She is not an idiot. We know.

And if we talk about the show sow why she did it? My reason, perhaps she doesn't wants her son to see or face what is coming. Or maybe she had seen what he doesn't wants it.

Helaena at the start in the first scene when Aegon comes looking for Jaehaeyrs tells him "What if he doesn't want it?" It feels like a call back to times when Aegon didn't want it. But still, she knows a woman's life is much worse in Westeros specially in time of war, so why save a girl who would lead a bad life instead of the son who actually had a chance to get out of that. Is it a call back to Viserys choosing Rhaenyra over Aegon? Wouldn't know until next scenes.

Rhaena. We see her on the council table and while they are burning Luke's and Arrax's remains. I wanted to cry just seeing her. She looks so distraught.

Daemon wearing his MURDER CLOAKKKKKK!!!

YAYAYAYAYAY!!!

I love how he paid that Gold Cloak to do his bidding and how that man went "Commander" and "Fuck the Hightowers". We see the loyalty of the Gold Cloaks to Daemon that we know from books and the first season. Loved every moment of that.

Well, that's what I think about it.

#hotd #hotd spoilers #house of the dragon #house of the dragon spoilers #blood and cheese #luke's death #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen #alicent hightower #criston cole #aegon ii targaryen #helaena targaryen #aemond targaryen #jacerys velaryon #baela targaryen #rhaena targaryen #otto hightower #larys strong #alicole

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orionsangel86 · 2 years ago

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Sincere question, your response to the like-scolding post doesn't make sense to me. I already reblog often, so I don't need convincing, but I also don't feel the need to convince others to and don't understand when people do.

If a blog was empty, you weren't going to follow them anyway. They have zero impact on your dash.

I don't understand why following the tags, following blogs that make stuff in the tags, using tumblr's orbit thing or blog suggestions wouldn't be anymore sufficient than asking strangers that may not even care who follows them to make your personal dashboard more interesting.

I was hesitant to answer this, because I try not to get too involved in general tumblr discourse and I already have had a few passive aggressive remarks about my response to that post. I don't wanna open myself up to hate here so please know that this is just my opinion at the end of the day. I am one person and I have been on tumblr a long time and my reasonings for all of this is simply that I love this stupid website and want it to thrive.

Let me start by clarifying that I have nothing against likes! Likes are great! Likes are exactly what it says on the tin - a way to tell someone that you like their post. So I didn't have an issue with the sentiment of the original post that likes are not meaningless and are instead a way to tell people that you like their stuff! That's great!

But your reasoning here is flawed because of how tumblr works. No matter how many likes someones post gets, if no one reblogs it it will dissapear into a void. Tumblrs tagging system is not great. Tumblr's "in your orbit" section is something that most people ignore and do not use. The userbase on tumblr finds posts by following blogs and relying on the blogs they follow to reblog posts. The posts that circulate far and wide on tumblr are posts that are reblogged by users. Posts that have plenty of likes do not help a post gain any extra traction or help spread it to those that may be interested in it. Posts that are just liked and not reblogged do not get circulated and will get forgotten about and never find their audience.

This isn't about lurker types who never reblog anything and therefore won't ever get followers (nothing against lurkers!), its about this strange mentality nowadays which tumblr never used to have which is that people seem to be more particular about the kind of posts they'll reblog. People seem more hesitant to reblog long posts, or writing posts, or anything that doesn't immediately grab their attention. There is an expectation that for a post to be reblogged it has to be of a higher quality that a post that you may reward a simple like.

I think it is heavily tied to cringe culture. There is a mentality that your blog should be heavily curated and therefore you should only reblog the highest of quality which you feel is worthy for your own blog - rather than just reblogging anything that you may like or find fun or interesting. It is very much an instagram mentality and its been creeping into tumblr over several years - and because of it, fandoms are dying, its far more difficult to find fandom content, and it is becoming much harder to engage and build community. People are hesitant to add comments onto reblogs nowadays - when back in the day that was kinda how tumblr worked! You reblogged with commentary and thats how legendary tumblr shitposts were born! That's how Supernatural fandom "always has a gif for that" started! Because back in 2014 people didn't care about what others on tumblr thought about their blogs, because their blogs were all about the fun, about committing to the bit, about engaging with each other and adding commentary and additions, and speculating about your favourite shows on long posts where you could have an entire community of meta writers each adding a bit of their own analysis so you ended up with a huge post that was absolutely mind blowing. That's how artists on tumblr could have thousands and thousands of notes and gain huge popularity and be able to make a living based on their fanart.

I miss it so. fucking. much.

This place is a graveyard sometimes. Even among my current fandom. I will post something and ask that people add commentary. I will state quite plainly for people to please engage and add their thoughts, let me know your opinions! There are no wrong answers! Lets joke, make fun of the characters we love, write dumb little thoughts and headcanons and engage with them via reblogs, add reaction gifs and images with speech bubbles and just soak up the joy that can be found in engaging with fandom in this way - and stop being scared that your reblogs will be judged by some external source, that you will somehow lose followers or make OP hate you if you dare to add a comment to their post (in which case OP can go fuck themselves as far as I'm concerned because I ADORE comments and additions on MY posts). Just ENGAGE. Because a like, whilst appreciated, is literally the bare minimum, and if all we are doing on this site is the bare minimum, then what is the fucking point anymore? If there is no real engagement and community, if you aren't interesting in actually talking to each other and sharing posts among each other and just interacting with each other, then tumblr will die. I find that so fucking depressing. So yeah, I had a bit of a moan on that post, because I don't think y'all newbies understand how good it used to be here. Quit with the instagram mentality and start actually engaging. Because if y'all actually listened and started doing that, you'll bring this place to life again, and find so much more joy in it.

#tumblr #fandom #reblogs #reblog stuff #tumblr rant

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bestworstcase · 2 years ago

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I feel like many bad takes or bad analysis from certain crowds ultimately boil down to people being utterly inattentive and basically wanting to FEEL smart over actually BEING smart.

They like the idea of "show don't tell", but scorn the idea of actually putting in any effort to actually understand what they're being shown, especially if it contradicts what they want to believe.

Media only exists in their eyes to reinforce their own biases instead of challenging what they think, and anything that does so is an affront to their image of themselves.

taps the sign. (<- a tangent but i have very strong opinions regarding “show don’t tell,” to wit that as it is utilized memetically as both advice and criticism it is nonsense.)

i think you are ascribing egotism and small-mindedness to a phenomenon better explained by the simple fact that textual analysis is a difficult skill to learn and one that is, outside of specific disciplines to which it is a core function, very poorly taught. i benefitted a great deal from having an exceptional humanities teacher in high school who made it a priority to teach textual analysis and critical thinking skills above everything else, and it absolutely blew me away to get to college and discover that almost all of my peers—incredibly smart, creative, thoughtful people—wrote analytical essays on par with what i had written in middle school. none of them were stupid or arrogant or lazy [frankly many of them worked a hell of a lot harder on every essay than i did, because they were learning new skills while i practiced things i’d already been doing regularly for four years]; but they hadn’t ever been taught how to parse texts analytically, whereas i had, so there was a huge divide when we entered college which shrank as they built those skills. as with anything some people will find it easier to learn textual analysis than others but nobody is born knowing how to do it and short of studying it in college in some capacity you’re unlikely to be taught more than the bare minimum lies-to-children basics.

there’s also the secondary factor that some people enjoy textual analysis and some really don’t, in the same way that some people enjoy mathematics and others do not; people in the latter category are generally not going to be reading or watching stories they enjoy particularly deeply because that would make the experience an unpleasant chore, and that’s, like, fine? the vast majority of people read and watch things to have fun and certainly in the context of fandom the core motivation is enjoyment. there’s no one right way to enjoy a story. (that said, fandom as a whole does tend to be rather analytically lukewarm because the primary approach to the text is transformative rather than analytical and this, in combination with the tendency for fandom to bring non-analytical and analytical audiences into close contact, can cause some friction. in my experience this friction most often occurs along fault lines between fans whose engagement is driven by emotional connection to or identification with certain characters and fans who engage analytically with character as a narrative tool; i think there is a degree of mutual incomprehensibility between the two camps that tends to spark conflict when the two interact.)

all of this is compounded by—(thwacks the dead horse)—christian hegemony, which is the underlying cultural engine driving things like fandom purity culture and the rigidity of good/bad categorization of characters and implicit expectation that all stories are or should be morality plays, and so forth; this is an issue on both sides of the non-analytical/analytical divide and has less to do with individual arrogance than it does the hegemonic moral framework that underlies US culture generally and online fandom culture by extension because online fandom is extremely americanized. although i do think that this is also, if not THE root cause, then at least a significant factor behind the recent-ish rejection of subtext as ‘real’ (so to speak) and the proliferation of the attitude that a story that fails to overtly and clearly explain itself is poorly written; points at evangelical christianity in particular fostering the mindset that individual questioning and interpretation and extrapolation from scripture is suspect on the grounds that there is a singular right answer that you are told by church leadership, which at minimum does nothing to equip the people who grow up in evangelical churches to handle critical analysis or even more-than-superficial comprehension of any other text.

of course some people are disingenuous and arguing in bad faith—that is the bedrock of hatedom specifically and tends to be driven by a variety of factors of which latent or overt bigotry, bitterness over jossed theories, and strong group identification with the hatedom seem to be the most common—but that’s a really small (if vocal) minority compared to the number of people who either lack analytical skill or don’t enjoy analytical engagement or both but form strong opinions anyway (as people tend to do about things they really like, or really don’t like). i don’t think it’s useful or kind to presume that anyone with a staunchly weird or whacky take is treating a story they like as a vehicle for self-aggrandizement.

#also presuming bad faith when you see a bad take—esp to this extreme degree—#is a great way to have a miserable time on the internet #people will as a general rule treat you how you treat them #sidebar i feel like i’ve seen this exact question before. do you shop this around #weird hill to die on if so

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cuddyclothes · 2 years ago

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Okay, some Thoughts about Good Omens 2 and that ending and stuff

Disclaimer: I’ve never read the book. I’ve never heard the radio show. Beware, there is criticism under the “keep reading” as well as my analysis of the ending. I’m using male pronouns but feel free to substitute the ones you prefer.

I loved “Good Omens 2″. And have rewatched it at least three times, as well as having it on in the background. And watched clips on YouTube, especially of the ending. I’VE CRIED A FUCKING RIVER. The beginning with Angel!Crowley squealing and squeaking with happiness over his new universe is cute and heartbreaking.

And naked Jon Hamm! Who doesn’t love naked Jon Hamm? He is hilarious.

But here were my problems as I was watching it. First: Crowley’s present day hair. Hated it, hated it, hated it. The little curl bobbing around when he moved his head kept distracting me. It was a beautiful red first season, and all of the hairstyles were lovely, especially when it was long!!

What’s with the color and curls? Aziraphale’s hair is still the same. And no full-on serpent eyes!

And no odd little noises. What happened to the odd little noises?

The plot was thin. Hanging the whole thing on something as small as Gabriel’s disappearance after the enormity of S1 left it a tad lacking. The Nazi zombie “minisode” was irritating. If you’re going to have Nazi zombies, don’t let them stumble out and kill more people! Also, it was so SATISFYING when they were killed. (Does that count as retcon?) The zombies were mainly there so we could watch Aziraphale play with the feather boa and be flustered all over the place. It was so unnecessary. It would have been better minus Nazi zombies. But zombies are all the rage these days, so I guess you have to have them.

I’m generally down with the horror side of things, except for those poor graveyard guards, doomed to fall forever. And why did Maggie love Nina so much? Nina was basically a grump who barely smiled and certainly gave her no encouragement. I know they were supposed to mirror the main couple but it was pretty weak tea. The more anvilicous, the less enjoyable. Seriously, I didn’t give a shit. The only part I liked was when they told Crowley to back off.

While I knew when watching that the series was mostly fan service on a silver platter garnished with parsley, I still enjoyed it. I would watch Michael and David talk about coding. (In my day we’d say read the phone book but do phone books even exist any more?) However, again, my toes are broken from all of the anvils. I squirmed at how shameless it was. I knew there would be fan art and fan fiction and GIFs out the wazoo, so who am I to piss on somebody else’s fun? But for me, there were moments when I wanted to say, “tone it down a little! We get it!”

Especially since Aziraphale was such a prissy little fluff ball through the whole season. Does anyone else think S1 Aziraphale would have been a ferocious warrior when the demons showed up? Rather than “oh dear, here girls, you fight the devil’s army!” He could have yeeted the demons into the holy circle! By the way, who made the holy circle? When he calls, “Anybody there?” who answered?

And, and, AND there was no significant fights between Aziraphale and Crowley! Remember “How can somebody so clever be so stupid!”? When the conflict between the main characters is insignificant (until the end) it diminishes the whole stakes. Which is why I feel like the ending was hastily slapped on, even if it did rip my heart out of my chest.

But I’ve thought a lot about the ending, and I think Metatron played Aziraphale like a harpsichord. Do you think for one minute Metatron thinks Aziraphale could lead Heaven and a huge project like the Second Coming? Of course not, he thinks Aziraphale is a chump. Azi will think he’s in charge while Michael and Uriel walk all over him.

Aziraphale didn’t want to go to Heaven, but Metatron flattered him AND offered to let Crowley return as bait. That did it, because Azi can be an idiot at times. Remember how he thought he could go have a word with Heaven and straighten everything out in S1? When Crowley says no, Aziraphale has made a promise and I don’t recall him ever being able to break a promise. When they kiss he’s hopelessly confused and crying.

Metatron comes along, Azi almost protests that he doesn’t want to go, but again, he made a promise. This is just me, but when he’s in Heaven’s elevator, as we watch it go up, we see him slowly being brainwashed

#cuddyclothes has thoughts #good omens 2 #aziraphale ooc #ending #metatron is a total bastard #why nazi zombies #series problems #i still loved it don't @ me #thin plot #too much fan service #michael sheen #david tennant

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theanharchist · 12 days ago

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So I booked another night at Citadel hotel and I left so fast I can’t tell you how creeped out I was at that hotel that popped up as an ad when I needed a few days for my first months rent to deposit over to live in Charlottenburg. *sticks out chest proud to mock Black Jack’s inflection* they totally put a rock upstairs the day I stayed there and my vision slurred. Aster’s movie taught me so much. I hadn’t remembered that movie in years but again *starts silent laughing through my nostrils from my chest* I watched it four times in theaters because every person in my gay friend group including my ex Dylan at the time wanted to see it. I covered my eyes at the same parts too. lol! But I paid $40 in total or my ex did at the time. Laughs again in slo-mo. It was the same gay couple but Dale had work that day so then we all watched it again on a double date when Dale got off work. That was so funny how we all made fun of it.

Then Berlin happened a few years later for me to go to and then I realized that is real. Duh I thought. My eyes dilated in fear. Especially that last trip to Berlin where a real totem pole exists and a coven was located down the block from where I stayed. It was marked on Google Maps as well. There though, anything goes. They can either turn you into a chick or dude if you roll the dice a certain way.

I was like “okay fine.” Because my art was getting spooky and very well-known in Florida and so everyone wanted to see me make a parody to laugh at.

But at the Citadel Hotel the ladies at the front desk looked like Nurse Practitioners. They had bright blue but dark blue eyes and tied their hair back the same like a God damn stock image photo at that size 16 size without being fat. I remember seeing where wheel chairs could go rather than shopping carts. It looked like a medical experiment office because the check-in looked like a medical waiting room and the access was a scan card to get in. The room also had a kitchen. Therefore overnight, a sign switch could easily turn it into a hospital and Germany is the literal capital of psycho-analysis by the book. They were setting up to make me look crazy. There’s a paraphrasing in German that’s beyond rehabilitation. One gesture at that breath-work and people would think I’m insane enough to be experimented on. I left my jewelry there though and it took them a month to call me back and say they found my jewelry as if they microchipped it and then gave it back to me. They absolutely found my jewelry and should have called me immediately or notified me. I was clam like I’m usually super friendly over the phone or normal. No I was serious. I had the courage to call them too.

It’s like they were prematurely starting the process of cremation before putting my body in a vat for stationing me, an American, near where all the crematoriums were like I didn’t know. Oh my God. I’m not that stupid. I believe in proper burials. What the fuck. That hotel was right there as well down the street of my lit up house number ‘89’. In fact it was in an envelope looking ready to be sent to a crematorium to start that process or framing. I believe that is what could be instigated from missing jewelry or that trend of lost and found. Germany prospects its census. They move things around sometimes to make it difficult to live there or stop transits and delay stops on purpose. I almost missed my flight back home last year if I didn’t wake up four hours in advance to departure already sensing that would happen. And it did. The only train to the airport stopped working.

I don’t think Germany knew I had enough money to Uber to the airport. By the time I got to the airport a four hour in advance tread gave me two hours to make it to my terminal.

Traffic was bad that day for no reason. I was living on the Westside of Germany which was further away from the airport than the Eastside and even half-way there it took an hour longer from the Eastside in 2024.

I didn’t want to get into an accident so I take trains especially in Europe.

Part of me felt like it was a House on Haunted Hill horror movie. I had a group of people trying to make it to an airport aside from me after a perfectly working train stopped out of nowhere. I think there were people trying to make it to the airport too close to their departure time and Germany has certain algorithms where it throws out a dice for an escape room at people who are late. Something will break at that probability. Speaking of my press pass on Bosch’s Judgement. A “cool” black guy, an Indian, an old couple, by which I knew one of them to offer to carpool but I said “hell no” immediately because Escape Rooms exist and I didn’t want the same lottery as anyone else. Those Ubers they got turned in a different direction than mines away from the airport because their flight was closer to departure and somehow Germany knows that about passengers. Then, I learned what socialism is. Everyone works on German time. If you aren’t on German time then bad shit happens in Germany.

That bitch is Michael’s and I’s daughter full grown if we had one. Portland Michael that is. The lead singer of Sneaker Pimps. lol no…no one pay attention to his show game. *blink blink* but anyways I imagine this as an acoustic instrumental for an oriental restaurant. Like every pan Asian should be like this in Portland at least.

I’m making a Sims pan Asian with this in its playlist at some point. I just know it will be a good time laughing while I make it to Sneaker Pimps. They got to have a shoe store outside of it like this one pan Asian restaurant in Berlin.

If I married the owner of Fun Cafe we’d own that cafe. Dang, Sims is insane.

I’d name it Rustic too.

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indomitablekushite · 2 years ago

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It's important to realize that any criticism of Black male/female relationships is at the same time and in equal measure a criticism of White society's worldview which has shaped us to fit and function “properly” in it. Social conditions create both social consciousness and social conduct and failure to recognize this can lead one to see racial defects where social ones are more real and relevant...It is this final contention that serves as a key point of departure for any serious analysis of Black male/female relationships. For to say we are products of our social conditions is to say the same thing about our relationships. Analysis of the major defects in Black male/female relationships clearly reveals their social rather than genetic or purely personal basis. Thus, to understand the negatives of our relationships we must understand the negative characteristics of society that have shaped them. Delores P. Aldridge says "An ideological institution is a codified and long-existing set of social arrangements that forms a basic element of a given society. It follows that such institutions share the distortions inherent in the rationale for their existence" (Focusing, p.20). What is being done to Africans by commercialism, drugs, religion, and Western psychology, education, urbanization and industrialization by which individuals become detached from their traditional environment. Its not just Chicago, its being done to Afrikans in London, Cape Town, Sydney, Montreal, and Buenos Aires. By embracing the logic that what is normal for one people is normal for all people, because they have come to accept the validity of other people’s words over their own traditions, many Afrikans rush toward a European worldview. They cannot see that following a European cultural worldview opens them up to an alien and self-alienating way. Delores P. Aldridge speaks of sexism as working with racism, capitalism, and Judeo-Christianity as the “ideological institutions” serving to systematically undermine any possibility of stable, positive relationships between Afrikan men and women. Na’im Akbar shares her opinion saying that sexism, materialism, and Christianity, as a force insuring a perception of the inferiority and danger of women, and “an assumption of inevitable conflict between the sexes” are inextricably tied in the assault on peace and purpose for couples. Maulana Karenga’s four “connections” consist of the more catchy “cash,” “flesh,” “force” and “dependency” “connections” that undermine male/female relationships. Sexism makes sexual exploitation civilized. It makes it normal and, therefore, natural. This is why you have so many brothers and sisters talking about it's natural for a woman to be submissive to a MAN. Or that stupid phrase going around that an alpha female will naturally submit to a dominant male. That alpha whole concept created by white people that they have even deconstructed is still deep in the minds of our people. Why, because it makes us feel good in our zombie-like state. The zombie is moved by the impulses of others, its sees what other sees, and thinks/speaks what others think/speak. Thus the African becomes black, they become Hebrew, they become Christian, they become native American, they become Latino. They love everybody and they make fun of every conscious movement and people trying to figure it out. So it should be no surprise about Kevin Samuels or the way we act on the net. “A cultural paradigms analysis proposes that every individual operates according to some group’s conception of reality, whether they are aware of it or not, and it is a conception which they share with other members of their reference group; the group with which they are identified (in terms of values, beliefs, customs, etc.). The group that we identify with is usually our own indigenous cultural group under normal-natural circumstances. In abnormal-unnatural circumstance, i.e., those in which we identify with a group that is not our indigenous cultural group (such as an alien group, or an acquired alien group identity), then the conception of reality out of which we operate is not naturally our own. This is so even though we may have adjusted to it so intimately that we do not experience it as alien to us.” Kobi K. K. Kambon “African/Black Psychology in the American Context: An African-Centered Approach” Page 119 “… worldview systems provide for the organization, structure, and content of culture. As the ideological-philosophical basis of culture, worldview systems articulate the basic assumptions, values and beliefs undergirding culture and are expressed through its various structural or institutional manifestations. Worldview systems also define the power base of the culture because through it the indigenous group defines their own collective reality, and it is thereby their natural base of empowerment. Finally, worldview systems are resilient and enduring across generations of the cultural group. The worldview system is passed on from one generation to the next and thus defines the consistency and stability of the culture.” Kobi K. K. Kambon “African/Black Psychology in the American Context: An African-Centered Approach” Page 126 “Given the racial pluralism and so-called multicultural nature of American society, it is inevitable that conflict between these oppositional worldview systems would occur. The African and European worldviews have undergone vigorous analysis by African scholars, both on the Continent and in America, in particular over the past three decades…. These analyses have organized the worldview differences between these groups…., these analyses have concluded that the fundamental assumption or ethos defining the European worldview may be categorized as an ‘Humanity versus Nature’ orientation. This basic thrust of the European worldview defines an antagonistic and conflictual theme in human-nature relations. The emphasis is placed on human intervention into nature to achieve mastery and gain control over nature through the power-based (or power-motivated) mechanisms of aggression, domination, oppression, suppression, repression, and the unnatural alteration or reordering of all objects in nature….” “A major theme emanating from this basic assumption of human-nature relations is that of ‘Survival of the Fittest’…. The principle underlying this theme is that those humans (i.e., individuals, races) who achieve the greatest degree of mastery, control, suppression and manipulation over nature represent the fittest among the human community. Fittest, then, represents the lofty position of human achievement attained through competition (i.e., aggression) and is indexed by the amount of psychological and physical distance that one is able to establish between himself (self-consciousness) and nature-phenomenal experience/objects…. This usually occurs in terms of the degree to which one has gained effective manipulative power and/or dominance over nature through the objectification of nature. Therefore, one’s degree of mastery or control over nature establishes the ‘fittest’ level of the individual, race-culture, etc.” “Hence, the European worldview is defined by the basic values of materialism, control, aggression and linear-ordinal ranking, conflict and opposition-dichotomy….” Kobi K. K. Kambon “African/Black Psychology in the American Context: An African-Centered Approach” Page 130 “The African worldview, by contrast, defines human-nature relations as interdependent and inseparable. The fundamental assumption or ethos in African cosmology is that of ‘Human-Nature Unity,’ Oneness or Harmony with Nature, including complementarity, balance and reciprocity in all of existence…. Humanity, or the Self, and Nature, then, are conceptualized as one and the same phenomenon. Thus, positive, affirmative and complementary themes define the character of human-nature relations within the framework of the African worldview. The ‘Maatian’ Principle… defines much of this process beginning at the level of the person and extending to the society and the whole of the universe. The primary emphasis is on the survival of the corporate whole of nature, which includes all living things, rather than simply advancing some special interest group or some segment apart from the corporate whole. Hence, the basic values, beliefs and psychobehavioral modalities characterizing the African worldview relate to the principles of inclusiveness and synthesis, cooperation and collective responsibility, groupness, sameness and commonality, and at the core of it all, of course, is ‘Spirituality.’” Kobi K. K. Kambon “African/Black Psychology in the American Context: An African-Centered Approach” Page 132

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impalementation · 3 years ago

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Hey, firstly I really want to thank you for the buffy analysis you're providing. I'm just now emerging into the world of writing and am utterly humbled by your comprehensive media analysis skills. I'm really curious how you got there. My question is related to s5 and its dichotomy of self. If Dawn is supposed to represent Buffy's inner child or human aspect of her personality, then is it fair to say that Glory represents Buffy's slayer identity and consequently her shadow in particular? I recognise that they, for the most part, have a foiling relationship in the narrative, but Glory's interactions with Buffy have always seemed a little "shadowy", obviously not in the same way as Faith and Spike, both of whom actively tried to bring out parts of Buffy she tried to conceal, but more in alluding to Dawn(human side) as Buffy's vulnerability I.e. the thing that stops her from being as strong as Glory way, if that makes any sense. The visual resemblance between the two really drove it home for me as intended mirroring. I could totally be misunderstanding the concept of the shadow, so forgive me if this is a stupid question.

Thank you!! Honestly, and not to be glib, I just got here with the usual combination of time, practice, and passion for the subject. I started reading and writing media analysis at a young age and never stopped. I also don't want to overstate my authority or anything. I'm often wrong or uninformed. I miss things all the time. I appreciate that people respect my arguments and opinions but I also hope that they're taken as interpretations to either be persuaded by or not, rather than as a definitive statement of ultimate truth or anything. While I take my writing seriously, it’s still something that I’m mostly doing for fun (or more like, because I can’t help myself). It’s riffing I’m doing to try to figure out this thing I like so much, and it makes me nervous when stuff I wasn’t making an effort to properly argue for is taken too authoritatively.

Anyway, not to barf my anxieties all over your ask. Hell yeah the season five dichotomy of self. I actually agree completely that Glory is associated with the shadow side of Buffy, but I also want to be careful about what I mean by that. People often seem to mis-use the concept of the shadow (no doubt I’ve misused it myself, since it’s only in the last year that I’ve actually begun the work to understand Jung properly), when what I think they’re actually looking for is the concept of a foil. You already seem to understand what a foil is, but for anyone else: A foil is a character that has things in common with another character, but then diverges in a way that illuminates the other character's traits. So Kendra in season two is a foil for Buffy, because both of them are Slayers--they have that point of commonality--but they react to being the Slayer in different ways. Which highlights Buffy's traits like rebelliousness and independence. In general, the villains of each season always tend to be foils for Buffy. The Trio in season six are foils for Buffy and the Scoobies for example, because like them, they are young people new to adulthood and struggling to grow up. But while Buffy and the Scoobies ultimately choose to do the hard work of growing up even though it’s painful and relentless, the Trio cheats with things like crime and violence.

So, Glory in season five is a foil for Buffy because she is a superpowered being who feels that her human half, Ben, is a weakness. Ben is similarly a foil for Buffy because he is a human being who feels that his superpowered half controls and has destroyed his life. Together, they represent Buffy’s dichotomy of self that you’ve already pointed out. Throughout season five, Buffy feels weak in the face of human problems like a boyfriend who leaves her or a mom who gets sick. Moreover--as you’ve said--Dawn, who is her human, child, self is Buffy’s point of vulnerability all season. She is seemingly what makes Buffy weak, because Dawn can’t protect herself. On the flipside however, her superpowered half is also what makes Buffy afraid that she is cold and disconnected from her humanity. The two halves are seemingly incompatible, and seemingly destroying the other half.

So one of the reasons I say that Glory is associated with the shadow side of Buffy is that Buffy’s shadow side is frequently associated with the supernatural, especially in season five. In my videos I’ve discussed how the Hellmouth can be seen as metaphor for the unconscious in general. It is this gaping wound beneath the town, that everyone ignores, and which specifically attracts supernatural beings. I also discuss in more depth in episode two how vampires are presented as “other” early on, representing the way that Buffy sees the shadow side of herself as “other” at that point in the show. In other words, vampires and the supernatural are associated with the shadow firstly because they’re associated with the unconscious, and secondly because they are an element of the unconscious that Buffy rejects. Vampires are scary, soulless monsters. How could you be a vampire?

Over the course of the show, Buffy’s primary shadow self becomes steadily more monstrous--first Cordelia, then Faith, then Spike--as she delves deeper and deeper into her unconscious. One of the reasons I think season five is so marked by the dichotomy of self is because it is the season in which Buffy begins to truly address the shadow part of herself, which means that the shadow becomes markedly opposed to her humanity. The fact that it seems villainous and incompatible with her Self becomes explicit, a problem that is now on the surface. I see Glory as linked to Dracula in the first episode, who taunts Buffy with her dark side and tricks her mother and Xander (both associated with Buffy’s humanity), or Harmony in the second episode, who is also blonde and “bitchy” and kidnaps Dawn just as Glory will kidnap her. I think it’s purposeful that Buffy describes Glory as “kinda like Cordelia, actually” and Glory has a bath scene that parallels Faith’s in “Who Are You?” There’s also the fact that Buffy is shown irritated by Glory being a “super-strong little women who [isn’t] me” (the line is in reference to April but clearly includes Glory), and by the suggestion that Glory could be “prettier” than her, which is similar to Buffy’s feelings of rivalry with Faith.

Of course, the point is ultimately that Buffy’s shadow is not incompatible with her humanity, and this is why I see Spike as Buffy’s true shadow-self--instead of merely associated with Buffy’s shadow side, as Glory is. Unlike Glory, who threatens Buffy’s humanity, aka Dawn, Spike actively safeguards it. Like Buffy and Glory/Ben, Spike has a dichotomy between monstrousness and humanity. But unlike Glory/Ben he is eventually able to achieve that same thing that Buffy does: a mix. Like Harmony and Dracula he is a vampire, and therefore aligned with the scary supernatural “other” shadow. But unlike them, and like Buffy, he comes to protect Dawn out of love. In other words, while Glory might represent Buffy’s fear or perception of her shadow, Spike is the character that actually represents Buffy herself. He is her actual, personal shadow, which is why Buffy needs to integrate with him and not with Glory. This won’t happen completely until the end of season seven, but does happen in a partial form in “The Gift” by her choosing to let him into her house. Ie, into her Self, given how Buffy’s house (as I bang on constantly in my videos) is the the recurring symbol of Buffy’s Self.

In general, I’d say that although Buffy’s main antagonists each season may be foils for her, they do also seem to be associated with Buffy’s shadow side too, the way that Glory is. Even if Glory, as you mention, is particularly “shadowy” because of her similarity to Buffy’s previous shadow-selves, and because season five is particularly concerned with Buffy’s inner dichotomy. Buffy’s villains all represent some negative way of solving a problem that Buffy is struggling with. People often use the term “shadow” in a narrative sense rather than Jungian sense to refer to a negative foil this way. But in the Jungian sense, you could also say that they represent a path that Buffy is tempted by, and is afraid she could go down (a side she might go down if she doesn’t confront it, ie if it remains unconscious). Therefore it’s a side that Buffy thinks she has to repress or reject when she encounters it in herself--hence her antagonistic relationship with her more personal shadow self figures.

#s5 #buffy #glory #there is also stuff to say about the personal vs the collective shadow #and how glory and other villains--especially vampires--are aligned with the collective shadow #but this response was long enough

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violenceenthusiast · 4 years ago

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im curious why people are saying supernatural is jewish like idk if jewish writers makes an inherently jewish story especially when things like following out the christian apocalypse from revelations and showing a real physical g-d who is just some guy i think is super jarring since though christians claim to be against idolatry they seem totally fine showing depictions of gd or whatever i dont get jesus honestly but jews are far more strict and the idea of showing gds appearance is pretty wrong

WOOF okay um. Maybe this is one of those Tone Doesn’t Come Thru Well Online things but to me this is soo fucking rude… I’m half way between John Mulaney we don't have time to unpack all of that & Ben Wyatt wait it’s gonna bother me if I don’t explain why you’re wrong.

This turned into all my thoughts.

So like. First off, it’s all fun and games. We’re all just joking and joshing and projecting here on destiel dot tumblr dot com and Jupernatural is not an exception in a lot of ways. And so when someone shits on what we’re doing here (yes, even unintentionally) what you get is what happened: oh you think you’re funny well I’m about to be hilarious!!! aka I’m gonna do it even more now out of spite specifically because you said not to. Like it really is all jokes but also you know what’s not a joke? Antisemitism in all its forms, even the casual shit! It’s really draining and it builds up in your veins!! Just. Yeah. You saw a lot of people talking about it today in particular because much like other topics of the day, one thing kicks off a whole other turn of events. So like. one misguided comment that’s playfully antisemitic and then one more little one, and then one big/obvious one launched us (Jewish spn fans) into a whole bigger discussion about antisemitism and erasure of Jews in the spn fandom writ large. It’s one thing to be descriptive, offer a headcanon/what if, or employ a certain mode of analysis. It’s another thing to definitively say This Is The Truth, specifically when to do so overrides something else, especially in this case when what’s being overridden is Jews, an ethnoreligious minority. It’s also another thing to talk over Jews. And mind this has been building for days. Not in a bad way just like, it’s been topical for days and then today one big thing pushed it over the edge to us actually posting abt it (partially bc at that point it’s a pattern, which feels like it needs to be addressed). Like, destiel tumblr is small we pretty much all see all the same posts, and then Jewish spn fans… we’re friends, we chat about life? We joke around together, y’know? If you’re being antisemitic (yes, even unintentionally) we’re all gonna hear abt it. It’s how we stay safe or in this case, curate the online exp.

That being said tho projecting on fiction is like fun and even a good thing at times, and def opens up new modes of analysis. But! the other big thing here is that there IS a LOT of evidence for a Jewish reading of spn, in a lot of ways, and particularly if you know what to look for. Like there’s lots of niche Jewish slang (non-Jews just don’t know these things, and that is a reflection primarily of the writers but once you put it in the script it implies things about the characters too of course), the theology of the early seasons (I’ll get to that in a second), main character motivations (hold on), “Moishe Campbell” implying Mary is (and therefore Sam and Dean are) Jewish, etc.

It’s not surprising to me or anything that non-Jews don’t catch anything/everything Jewish about spn but that Jews catch both sides of it, because that’s just how being part of a marginalized group works. You learn about your own stuff AND the dominant culture’s stuff because that’s how you survive (socially, psychologically, literally). Members of the dominant culture don’t need to learn the marginalized one, are never confronted with it, and so they just.. don’t. I don’t even mean that in a normative or accusatory way, that’s just an observation on the state of things. Non-Jews who aren’t part of another marginalized religion, aka expressed xtians and cultural xtians, have a ton of misconceptions about Judaism, for example, “Jesus was Jewish” and not, “Jesus was an asshole of an apostate who made life harder for Jews at the time in a myriad of ways and whose movement has had a lasting negative impact on world Jewry (and other peoples) for the ensuing millenia”. I truly Don’t Have Time right now to get into the varied and intense history of antisemitism in all its forms but. the point I’m making here is that I’m not shocked I need to explain that life experience shapes your worldview?? So if you’re Jewish you’re always gonna be living life through that version of the world and it does impact you?? Same as anything else?? As unwell as they may be, spn writers aren’t exempt from that. Jewish people writing about xtianity are doing so thru a primarily Jewish understanding and vice versa. Jews can (and did!) write about xtian lore but in a Jewish way! Some core Jewish themes: wrestling with angels/G-d, questioning G-d, IF there’s a G-d they will have to beg MY forgiveness, the afterlife isn’t really a big thing so all that matters is your time on earth, make amends to others directly and thru your actions rather than seeking absolution with G-d, you are not obligated to complete the work nor may you abandon it, etc… So that’s the other reasoning why we say “spn is Jewish” based solely on it being written by Jews. Rather than Death of The Author, let’s look at what the author has imbued the story with, both intentionally and unintentionally. And re: Chuck and idolatry… I don’t even know where to start with the way you phrased this but. the Jewish Spn Writers of Note are apparently Kripke, Gamble, and Edlund. All of whom stopped writing for the show years before the Chuck Is God plot!

Like yes it feels very stupid to be writing a thousand words on antisemitism and supernatural but like. this is a spn blog run by a Jew so. This whole thing is also just the same every time. This is very representative of typical casual antisemitism.

#asks #no readmore we die like men (gender neutral)#sorry its so long alma #jupernatural #anonymous #scream maybe i should add a readmore.. maybe in the morning

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leviiattacks · 4 years ago

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hi hi hi i really really really loved your jealous headcanon of levi and your teacher levi!!! i was wondering if i could maybe request something where you kinda mix the two(?) so like theres this event going on in school and the reader is very occupied and busy because shes paying attention to her students and then maybe she talks to some teachers about the event and then levi is just there secretly sulking cause he wants her attention too?? or idk you do you because your works are always soooooooo good thank you<3333

author note :: i did not stick to the prompt which was honestly an accident?/£/):7 but there is jealous levi and reader so i hope it workssss, it’s not that great and isn’t edited...but i hope you enjoy it :-( also thank you for the request you were very kind <3

for this to make more sense you’ll probably have to read my first ever teacher levi post which you can find here !!!!!

requests are always open :-)

word count :: 4.3k ???? longer than i expected ????

levi groans at the mention of sports day before turning to look at you dead in the eyes

he knows this is your doing, you’ve always been big on getting the children into sport and other extracurriculars

now see, he has no actual issue with sports day?? he’s pretty fit if he says so himself!!!

it’s just that he frankly does not have the effort to participate.

another part of him also feels frustrated seeing mike flock around you like an annoying bee

he’s asking all sorts of questions

“are we doing the three legged race again this year?”

“how about javelin?”

“HAHA...mike...”

levi takes one look at you and knows you’re trying to let him down softly, it is his favourite event after all.

“since last year’s fiasco and the way you nearly hit one of the sixth graders i think not.” you awkwardly chuckle patting his shoulder as if it’s any consolation

mike loves sports day, he’s competitive in all of the teacher only events and last year he even tripped you and levi up ON PURPOSE might you add

either way he still lost the teacher’s three legged race last year and ever since he’s been out to gain his title back.

levi remembers, he’s unsure if you do but he remembers vividly having to carry you on his back because you had sprained your ankle pretty badly after your collision with mike.

back then you and levi were still in the middle of your little math vs english debate meaning the whole walk to the infirmary was filled with bickering.

and when levi had placed you onto one of the beds you insisted you could treat yourself when you really couldn’t

the way that scenario ended had been with levi forcing you to place your foot onto his knee as he iced and tended to it

this year levi is not having any repeats of that. yes, he quite liked having some alone time with you, in fact it was one of the first times he stopped to wonder if he liked you.

BUT!!!! having you limp around the corridors wasn’t the best either and you were highly irritable until you were fully healed

“why don’t you actually try this year?” hange stifles a laugh, they’re stood to levi’s left and upon hearing their voice his shoulders sag. he knows he’s in for one hell of an earful

“i do try–”

“yeah whatever. anyway, you want a cupcake?” hange’s gesturing to the haphazardly iced buns in the four plastic containers in their hands

“these are for the bake sale!!” they add in enthusiastically.

levi’s about to shake his head, he’s already donated to the bake sale’s charity fund without paying for any of the baked goods. yes it is purely because he doesn’t trust hange to feed him anything edible

“they’re y/n’s batch :-)” hange’s wickedly grinning knowing they’ve hit their colleagues weakness

without another thought levi’s right hand dives into one of his pockets, fishing his wallet out. he places a few spare coins into hange’s palm

“wOAH, you’re pretty eager aren’t ya??”

their remark flies over levi’s head as he tries to pick out two of the most presentable cupcakes

“you’re so fond of y/n, why not try a little harder like i said?” hange’s thrown the bait in the river and levi completely falls for it. he turns ninety degrees completely forgetting about the cupcakes.

“i’m talking about sport’s day if it isn’t obvious.”

he faces hange directly. he scowls twisted in fake disgust and confusion all at once

“and why would i care about that?” he shoots back

“after walking in on the both of you touching each other up in the janitor’s closet i’m really surprised you’re — mMMPH—” levi’s shoved one of the cupcakes into hange’s mouth

“you’re gonna have to pay for that–”

levi smacks some more money into their palm to appease the issue

“when did you see that and have you told anyone else?” he’s seething right now, there’s no way he or you were unable to notice someone as loud as hange prance into the storage cupboard accidentally

“i haven’t told anyone but it has only been three days since i saw so who knowsss...”

“i’ll do anything for you to keep your mouth shut.” levi’s practically begging at this point

“i think you should buy a whole box of cupcakes as compensation. my eyes will never be the same again.”

levi hands over more than enough money, he’s probably handed over enough for two boxes just for extra measure

it’s not that he’s embarrassed of you or anything no, no, not at all. he just, this sounds so stupid but he isn’t sure what the two of you are????

you’ve kissed, A LOT but the only problem is that there’s never actually been confirmation of... something more? than that?

he’s simply horrible at asking, and seeing the way you’re talking to mike it’s almost getting to the stage of borderline flirting

he’s currently flexing one of his muscles and levi’s unsure if you’re actually gawking at them or feigning interest so mike can get bored and leave sooner

his bets are on you pretending for the sake of mike leaving until you reach out to squeeze his arm appreciatively

...

what is this feeling??

insecurity?? a low self esteem??? levi isn’t entirely sure what the emotion that surges through him at that moment is

but hange sure does, grinning at the scene playing out they shove moblit with their elbow

well, well, well levi getting jealous is certainly something new.

when levi knocks on the door of your classroom you assume he’s come to bother you and ask for the spreadsheet with grade averages and all that technical stuff

english and math grades need to be compared side by side and even though it’s your job to help with the data analysis you’re pretty bad at it so levi’s the one who USUALLY picks up the pieces and does it for the two of you

occasionally mike steps in and helps when levi’s got other stuff in the way

“oh levi!! mike told me he’d be doing this month’s spreadsheet?” you’ve poked your head out of the door to talk to him

levi’s eyes narrow at that because he hasn’t asked mike for help at all.

“i didn’t come here for the spreadsheet but i haven’t even told mike to assist me this month... i wonder why he’s so passionate.” he mumbles the last part under his breath

opening the door up you wave for him to come inside “what you here for then?” you ask, oOoh maybe he’s finished reading an inspector calls?? finally you can talk to someone about the twist at the end

“i’m taking part in sports day properly.” the statement is unexpected and ?? levi ?? take anything other than math seriously ??

“woah... i’m proud of you?? i’m glad you’re seeing it’s important to show the children physical activity is fun.” your smile brightens up the entire room and he begins to feel a little more confident

peering up at him your curiosity doesn’t go unnoticed and he clears his throat, he knows you’re expecting him to say something else

ok, ok, ok. he thinks he’s built enough courage up to ask you

“i’ve never got the chance to ask but would you like to go on a date?” on reflex levi screws his eyes shut, suddenly he’s convinced you’ll say no and reject him. why would you accept??

“sure!”

his eyes flutter open and he feels you grip at the sleeve of his shirt.

well? that went better than he expected?

“where do you want to go?” you ask

“doesn’t matter, but let’s go somewhere after sports day finishes up.”

“are you barely going to try like last year?” you’re munching away at a granola bar - it’s rather bland and makes your throat feel kinda scratchy

you’re midway through drinking some water to deal with the dryness but you nearly spit it out when levi responds

“no. i plan on winning every single teacher event.”

HE WANTS TO??? beat???? everyone???

“you’re planning on beating mike too?” you tilt your head to the side incredulously

levi purses his lips at the mention of his name

“why does that sound so absurd to you?”

“he’s um, very good at sport that’s all.”

“i am too.” levi’s adamant to prove his point to you

“fine, here’s a deal. win at least one teacher event and i’ll try and solve one of your funny math problems or whatever.”

“what kind of deal is that??”

“you’ll be able to see me struggle with numbers, for free!!”

“no. i have something better in mind.” levi bites his smile back, he can’t let you know the idea makes him feel

“and that would be?”

he takes a step forward decreasing the space between the two of you.

“how about you kiss me in front of everyone?”

your mouth falls open because oh wow....? you have no actual problem with the task you’re simply surprised that levi is willing to put the both of you out there like that. the spectacle is bound to raise some eyebrows

“deal?” he holds his hand out for you to shake

you nod your head. “it’s a pleasure doing business with you.”

and so your deal is sealed with a firm handshake.

the big day has ARRIVED!!!

all of the students are flooding in through the gates. some carry footballs, other basketballs. you’ve been here for less than ten minutes and had to save a ball from crashing right into an expensive window.

everyone’s wearing active gear, udo walks in with a ski mask on?? which is peculiar but it’s humorous so you don’t tell him off for it

you’ve chosen a comfortable olive green tracksuit, you don’t think you’re in the mood for ski masks like udo is

coincidentally levi happens to show up in the EXACT same type of tracksuit?? everything’s the same to the colour. you both stare at each other for a moment trying to figure out how exactly you managed that but give up, you guess you have similar tastes

the accidental coordinated outfits have a few of your students pointing and chuckling together

gabi and falco are laughing heartily and whispering god knows what about the two of you

“three legged race partner?” levi asks as he fills up some water bottles for the water stand

“oh? mike asked me to be his partner.”

levi doesn’t make it obvious that he’s jealous about it because what adult would be jealous over a three legged race??

but even if you can’t tell levi is pissed mike sure can

he’s walking past the two of you, hands shoved into his pockets when he spots you a few meters away. his eyes sparkle when he sees you. it’s at that moment he senses the dark piercing glare coming from your right.

you’ve yet to notice mike but levi’s seen him approaching from a mile away and he isn’t particularly happy about it.

the good thing about mike is that he knows not to mess with levi.

the two have known each other for years and by now mike knows messing with levi is a death wish in itself.

so when the poor physical ed teacher notices the way levi glowers at him he calls out your name to get your attention - he’s much too afraid to get anywhere near you

“Y/N!!”

whipping your head around you wave at your race partner, why does it look like he’s seen a ghost?? you shove that thought to the back of your mind, he’s probably just tired

“petra doesn’t have a partner and uhh... i think levi’s free. could you work with him instead?”

levi turns away to smile to himself. ah how the tables have turned!!!

“but i want to work with you? it’s always y/n and levi do this. y/n and levi do that!! i wanna try with someone else.”

what you’ve said is a lie. honestly you’d just like to see levi get worked up again

but levi doesn’t get the memo at all. it flies over his head and he huffs thinking if that’s what you want he doesn’t mind. he’ll just show you how he feels.

“it’s okay. i’ll go with petra.” levi nonchalantly salutes at both you and mike as he walks backwards before turning around to locate the ginger in question

WHY DID HE GIVE IN SO EASILY???? YOU WERE JOKING?????

with your mouth open wide mike looks at you once and puts the pieces together

“guessing you wanted him to stick around?” you suddenly hear and god, you feel kinda bad

“oh no!!! i would love to be your partner.” looping your arm with his you smile up at him

whether or not mike believes you isn’t clear but he does return your smile.

there’s a few minutes till the three legged race starts, everyone’s running around. erwin’s knelt down to tie yours and mike’s legs together

as he’s doing so you can’t help but hear a high pitched windshieldy giggle leave petra and you visibly seem annoyed. that’s if your arms crossed over your chest and clenched jaw are anything to go by

levi hasn’t even said anything notably funny ???? what is she laughing at ????

he’s quite literally just standing there making awkward small talk with her

it goes something like this

“have you marked your exams yet?”

levi doesn’t realise she’s said anything till she taps his shoulder and he asks for her to repeat her question

“oh.” he thinks for a while. “no not yet. i’ve got better shit to do. i don’t see them till next week either way.”

and then she just starts laughing so hard that she has to hold her knees and when that isn’t enough she holds onto a nearby pole for support

you see where this is going

when her breathing gets even more uneven she reaches out to grab levi’s upper arm

YUP. you knew it. you can’t be mad at her really. no one knows you and levi are sort of a thing.

a thing? is that the term? well, whatever late night calls discussing books and a few heated kisses in private mean that’s what you are

levi stares at the hold she has on his arm and you expect him to shrug her off. instead he sees you look, smirks a little and waves all the while letting her hand stay there

and the icing on the cake is petra waving at you too and her eyes are much more expressive than she thinks they are

she’s internally laughing at you for sure.

ok, not a big deal, NOT a big deal!!!

this is just him getting back at you for before.

flipping your head back your sad expression probably catches mike’s attention because he seems to cave in

“want to make him jealous back?”

his suggestion is interesting but you catch yourself second guessing

“he’s doing that because he’s jealous.” you mumble shaking your leg to test the strength of erwin’s knot

“and? don’t let him win.” he glances at his shoulder gesturing for you to make the next move

nodding your head vigorously you throw your arm over mike’s shoulder but find he’s too tall to make that work so instead you settle on holding him by the side

it takes you a little to adjust to the close proximity but in the time it takes you to do that mike informs you of levi glaring at the two of you

“mind if i hold onto you here? we can coordinate our moves faster!!!” petra doesn’t even wait for levi to agree to what she says. she just flings one of her arms around his torso

again, he lets her just as last time.

this game of cat and mouse is getting tiring, maybe you should have kept your mouth shut when mike approached you.

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

your senses snap back to where you are. your grip on mike’s torso firms and he turns to nod at you.

you nod back.

you’ll win this.

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!”

okay, SO.

something in your game plan must have gone wrong but mike’s strength is something you’ve clearly underestimated. his first step is so powerful you don’t even have the time to start moving

you assume that’s how you collapse to the ground behind him and scrape your hands onto the cement of the track

so much for winning. all you’re doing is bleeding and hissing trying to cope with the stinging sensation

“mike?!?? not again??” hange groans and jogs over to the two of you untying the ropes at your legs.

“do we have to ban you from another event??? you’re too reckless sometimes.” hange smacks his chest and then hurriedly whispers “levi’s coming this way if you value your life you better bolt and use the first aid kit as an excuse.”

mike doesn’t even debate with himself, that’s his best bet at staying alive and so he dashes away as if he’s left the shower on at home for five hours unattended

some students are murmuring under their breaths and luckily for you the forever reliable gabi and falco have come to your rescue with bandages

“show me your hands.” levi’s hard voice interrupts all discussion. petra’s stood peering over his shoulder and you swear you catch her muffling a laugh

levi frowns. “you good?” he asks. you assume this answer will be the deciding factor regarding whether or not he makes this an issue with mike

“i’m great – trust me!! just a few scrapes.”

levi doesn’t look convinced but he let’s it go.

he helps you get up and takes the bandages from gabi thanking her.

“i’ll patch y/n up.” he tells hange pointedly and they agree. moblit at that moment happens to run over with a megaphone in hand.

“SHOWS OVER FOLKS!! WE’LL MOVE ON TO THE JUMP ROPE EVENT FOR NOW!!!”

“i’ll make him lose the one hundred meter sprint so badly he won’t know what hit him.” levi’s been grumbling the entire time he’s sat down to bandage your hands.

now that you’re both sat close to each other again murmurs of “matching tracksuits??” are back

“you don’t have to it was a mistake levi.”

levi shrugs eyes scanning his handiwork. “i want to. i’ve got to earn my kiss in front of a crowd anyway.”

gently letting go of your hand he looks out onto the track waiting to be called.

you’ve never seen levi give his full effort into sports day but even then you’re unsure if he’ll ever be able to beat mike.

honestly mike sure is fast and you recall one of the children referring to him with the nickname lightening bolt

and speak of the devil. a group of children walk past and are talking about the teacher’s race

“mr bolt’s gonna win for sure. you seen him run?? he could be an olympian!!!!” zofia’s gushing about him, she happens to be a big fan

the only nickname you’ve ever heard for levi is ursula – “ursula sure is evil for giving us that much work >:(” you had heard udo say once during class but after the earful he got from gabi he never used the name again, neither did anyone else

a few more minutes pass in a comfortable silence and levi’s called over to his lane. you’ve accepted the fact that there’s no changing his mind and he’s bound to compete now

“wait for me by the finish line.” he instructs and so you do. you go your separate paths. he to his lane (he’s in the lane two) and you to the finish line

petra’s already standing there waiting. her elbows are propped onto the railing peering out towards the contestants.

making your way to stand with her you see her sigh dreamily at levi in the distance

“hey, i know you don’t like levi a whole lot. you know your fued and all but do you think he’d say yes if i asked him out?”

well.

that sure is unexpected.

you fight the urge to scoff because you know you and levi are starting to drop more hints. is this her way of finding out the truth?

“me and levi don’t hate each other actually.”

“oh, well dislike.”

“we don’t dislike each other.”

“tolerate?” she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth trying to control her frustration

“petra. i like levi.” your confession knocks the wind out of her. you both silently exchange looks. she’s very clearly in disbelief.

the next time she speaks the previous playful lilt in her voice is long gone

“as soon as you noticed i liked him you just had to decide you liked him too. people like you make my skin crawl.”

?????????

why is she so bitter?.)/&£:

you can’t help liking levi and he likes you too,, so what now??

“he likes me back petra. can we be civil about this? i don’t like workplace drama. i had no idea you were into him.” you’re hoping that this will happen to shut her up but NO!!! it doesn’t she’s only more mouthy now

“prove it.” she points one of her manicured fingers into your chest and demands evidence she doesn’t even deserve to see

“what???”

“if he likes you back so much he should be able to show it.”

you know, if it were any day, any other time or any other person asking you this you would have out right refused, but given the circumstances and levi already waiting on you to kiss him in front of the entirety of the school you see no issue with having the last laugh in this argument

“fair enough.” you mutter and lean over to see hange announce the countdown

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!!!”

you swear you blink because GOD what on EARTH????? you don’t understand why previous to this levi balked at the thought of participating because he’s made it look so easy.

he’s not bolted he may as well have TELEPORTED to the finish line. mike is breaking out in a sweat far behind him and the boyish grin on levi’s face is enough to tell how he feels

gasps and applause can be heard from the children. zofia and udo are passionately arguing about some bet they’ve made - you make a mental note to tell them that making deals is fun as long as they don’t bet large amounts of money

levi’s jogging up to you completely ignoring petra’s presence

“told you i’d do it. i avenged you didn’t i?” you don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile so confidently in public

you acknowledge what he’s said with a cartoon like thumbs up and then you’re staring at him unable to locate your courage

oh fuck it

you lean in hurriedly and steal a peck from him. he blinks and then scowls much to petra’s amusement. she has to think he’s about to curse you out but unbeknownst to her she’s read the situation wrong

“is that your idea of a kiss??”

and then he takes matters into his own hands – no literally into his own hands. he cups your face in his palms and captures your lips with his own. as you reciprocate petra can be heard choking on her saliva.

“OH well who would’ve guessed the english and math department had an alliance????? not me???” next is hange, they’re feigning shock even though they’ve known what the two of you have been up to this entire time

the whispers have now become full on shouts

“i KNEW it they were dating?!?!”

“MAN??? I HAD A CRUSH ON MR ACKERMAN WHAT NOW???”

gabi and falco are audibly cheering, you’re quite sure they realised what was up long ago

“DON’T BE UPSET BUT I THINK THIS IS WAYYY BETTER THAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!!!!” falco’s comment makes your heart rise in your chest

and you know what? you think so too.

as levi’s hand travels to the back of your neck pressing you further into him you come to the conclusion that maybe just maybe this is far better than pride and prejudice ever will be :-)

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