#all of sammy's firsts belong to him

[motelsnleatherseats]

Sam finally got invited to his first party, and Dean couldn't be happier for the kid. For too long had he had his nose buried in books, for too long had he hid his shy and somewhat awkward gaze towards girls behind hair too long. Dean was always wondering when he'd finally dive into a social life instead of just pining for one, and it was comforting to see Sam get excited about the prospect of making friends and meeting girls.

Until it wasn't.

Watching Sam spend too long in the bathroom getting ready made Dean feel a little unsettled. His baby brother had never invested so much time in his looks before, he had never tried to impress anyone outside of tidbits of specifically niche information he could recall off the top of head in some geeky spiel that would only excite the equally nerdy. But now he was combing his fingers through his hair, brushing his teeth just once more before he'd be ready to go, splashing just a little bit of aftershave on his neck despite never bringing a razor to his baby-faced complexion.

Dean was dragging his feet while Sam was impatiently trying to rush him out the door, complaining about being late.

Are you sure you know enough people going? Ugh, yes.

Do you have your blade with you? Seriously Dean, can we just go, please?

You sure you don't want me to go with you? Yeah, cause I really need a chaperone.

Maybe Dean took an extra back road, maybe just drove a couple miles per hour under the speed limit, looking for any excuse to keep Sam by his side a little bit longer. He couldn't help but think tonight would be the night that some cute little thing who barely developed tits over the summer would find Sam just too adorable not to sink her teeth into, and the thought made him stomach-sick.

Once they had pulled up to the party, Dean watched with a frown as Sam checked his reflection once more in the rearview mirror, making sure one hair wasn't out of place.

Don't drink too much. Dean--

Seriously Sammy, just be careful. I'm always careful.

Call me if you need me, okay? I'll be fine.

One more thing.

Dean reached over and curled his hand at the back of Sam's neck, pulling him in to press their lips together, much to Sam's shock and dismay. He gave a petulant whine and even moved to wipe his lips with the back of his hand as he stared at Dean incredulously with a 'what the hell was that for?'

Now when someone asks you if you've ever kissed someone before, you can say yes. You're such a creep, I swear to God.

Dean watched as Sam scoot himself out of the Impala, a disgruntled look on his face as he stormed off to the party, but Dean smirked. No one got to lay claim on Sammy before him.

[jazzyoranges]

Sam carpenter x reader with the song birds of a feather by Billie eilish maybe friends to lovers

Birds of a Feather

Sam Carpenter x fem!reader

Summary: you and Sam are best friends. until you aren’t

Words: 8k

A/n: ok we kinda went off script with this one but i’d describe this as friends to lovers with a few bumps. is friends to not friends to lovers a trope?

A/n 2: i have something to confess. i’ve never seen scream 5. that might be very evident in this

Warnings: intoxication, usage of drugs, Richie Kirsch, Sam deals with some hard shit, crying, ghostface aftermath, not a warning but Tara is a cutie, mention of a dead parent, maybe ooc sam cause i’ve never written for her and probably should’ve made a less lengthy fic so i could get a feel for her character but wtv 🤷‍♀️

“Hey- What the heck! What was that for, Sam!?” The young boy yells when Sam pushes him off the swing

“You jerk broke my friend’s crayons. She really liked them!” Sam points a finger at the boy, who’s now dusting himself off

“Yeah? What’re you going to do about it?” He smiles a wicked grin. At least, what would be considered wicked in kindergarten

“I’ll never let you on the swings again!”

“I don’t see your name written on it!”

“That’s cause you’re stupid and can’t read!”

Tears well up in the young boys eyes. He blinks them away, running to tell on the teacher him and Sam share. Sam didn’t care, he deserved the insults anyways

“Sammy? What did you do to Carlos?” You run up to Sam, who’s glaring at the back of Carlos’ head from her seat on the swing

“I pushed him. He broke the crayons your dad gave you!” The Carpenter pulls you into a hug, not wanting to let go

“I know he did Sammy, but it’s not nice to push people” You reciprocate the hug, pulling back a bit to see Sam’s face and how her forehead was wrinkled with her eyebrows furrowed. You thought she was cute like one of your stuffed animals

“It’s not nice to break something that doesn’t belong to you! I did it because he was mean to you”

“You’re going to get in trouble! Mrs. Poppy doesn’t know you were trying to protect me”

“Then I’ll tell her, and Carlos will get in trouble too”

“Samantha Carpenter.” Your teacher’s voice was stern. Nothing like the sweet teacher you were used to. You backed away from Sam’s hug but you don’t go far. You hold her tiny hand with your own and make sure to stay close, rubbing her hand in hopes of comfort

“Is it true you pushed Carlos off the swings and said some mean things?”

“Yeah, but he was being mean to (Y/n) first! He broke her new crayons her dad got her! Mrs. Poppy, (Y/n) was really sad” Your dad couldn’t get you many new things due to being a single father. Especially new school supplies. Usually you’d reuse the crayons you didn’t lose or break from previous years or borrow some of Sam’s

On most days you took the bus home with Sam while your dad was off working his ass off to get you dinner every night. Your dad and Sam’s dad were good friends so Mr and Mrs. Carpenter didn’t mind taking care of you until your dad was able to pick you up from their house. Luckily you two lived in the same neighborhood. Some days you thought all of the stars aligned for you and Sam to be friends

“Is this true?” Your teacher shoots a look at the boy next to her. While your teacher was the nicest woman you ever met, she had a deadly glare. You were happy you weren’t on the receiving end of that stare

“N-No…”

“Carlos if I find out you’re lying, you’re going to be sharing the same punishment as Sam.” Mrs. Poppy seems to calm down a bit, entering her nice teacher mode once again

“F-Fine! I did break her crayons” Carlos pouts, crossing his arms

“Thank you for telling the truth, but what you did was wrong. You also did something wrong, Sam. Instead of pushing Carlos off the swing, you could’ve told me and I would have taken care of it” Your teacher bends down to look at the two kids in the eyes

“Sorry, Mrs. Poppy” Sam and Carlos say in unison

“Thank you, you two. I know you two are good kids and know what’s right”

Your teacher leaves with Carlos next to her and you can hear her faintly ask why the boy broke your crayons in the first place

“I like having you as a friend, Sammy” You hug the girl, who’s long since stopped swinging

“I like having you as a friend too, (Y/n)!” Sam beams. Her smile was one of your favorite things ever

“Can we play house?”

“Yeah! I’ll bring my bear next time so she can be our baby!”

//-//

“I can’t believe you can name your sister!” You were over at Sam’s house a few months after her baby sister was born. You didn’t know what to call Sam’s little sister considering… she didn’t really have a name. It was up to Sam to pick a name but of course she was a Carpenter, wanting the best name for her sister. As a result, her baby sister had no name

Until today, that is. Sam was finally making a decision today

“I don’t know what her name is going to be yet” Sam reaches out a finger to her baby sister who happily grabs onto it with curiosity

“She likes you a lot, huh?”

“She knows I’m her sister”

“Maybe I could help you come up with a name! What’s your favorite letter?”

“I like the first letter of your name but I don’t want it to be that! I need to think of something different”

“I know you’ll think of a wonderful name, darling.” Sam’s mom strokes her on the head as she rocks the small baby in her arms

“Do you have another favorite letter?” You ask

“Uh… I like T?”

“What about Triceratops!” You giggle

“Her name can’t be Triceratops, silly!” Sam smiles

“Tennis?”

“(Y/n), those aren’t names” The now older Carpenter giggles along with you

“What about Taylor? Oh! There’s a girl in our class named Thalia?”

“I want it to be different, though! I like those names but Tara needs to be special.” Sam’s eyes go wide in surprise. Maybe her brain just knew her baby sister was supposed to be named Tara

“Tara?” You repeat. “That’s a pretty name! Hi little Tara!” You wave at the baby in her mom’s arms

“Is this official? Is Tara your choice, Sam?”

“Yeah! Tara is a nice name. She looks like her name would be Tara”

“She does, doesn’t she? Such a pretty name you chose, Sam. Honey, come here! We have our daughter’s name!” Mrs. Carpenter yells for her husband

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Sam smile so wide before

//-//

“Hey, Sam?”

“What’s up?”

“Aren’t you scared of middle school?“

“No, why would I be? Middle school should be scared of me” That was your Sam alright. The most fearless person you knew. As far as you knew, she was scared of absolutely nothing. Not even the dark. Which is why you were reluctant to stay outside on your trampoline after sunset. Which is also why you were curled next to Sam as she pointed out all the different stars

“What if we stop being friends?”

“Don’t be stupid, (Y/n)” The Carpenter pinches your cheek and you yelp while giggling, shoving her hand away

“If we stop being friends, which we won’t, I promise I’ll let you have all of my stuffed animals”

“Woah, really?”

“Yes, really

“Every single one of them?”

“Yes, every single one of them” Sam rolls her eyes

“Even Ghostie?” Ghostie was the panda stuffed animal you got Sam for her eighth birthday. Technically your dad bought it for her but you picked it out

“What! You’re not supposed to take a gift back, I like Ghostie”

“Well, you can give me all of your stuffed animals and I’ll just give Ghostie back to you”

“That makes no sense, why wouldn’t you just let me keep it?”

“Cause then you wouldn’t have given me all of your stuffed animals and kept your promise”

“You’re weird, (Y/n)”

“Hey, so are you! That’s why we’re friends”

“Yeah, I guess so” Sam giggles

The sliding door to your house opens and both you and Sam turn to look who’s there. It’s your dad

“Hey, girls! Sam, your parents are leaving now. Best you go with them, eh?”

“Okay! Thank you, Mr. (Y/l/n)” The Carpenter waves to your dad

“Wait, let me go with you inside! It’s scary out here”

//-//

“Sam! What if we get caught out here?” Your words held concern but you couldn’t stop laughing as Sam dragged you under the bleachers

“Shhh! They’re gonna catch us!” The Carpenter put a hand over your mouth and put one over hers so she’d also stop laughing when both of you sat down on the underside of the bleachers where the grass was

Both you and Sam were currently in seventh grade but there was an eighth grade couple that was constantly terrorizing the younger kids. Sam being Sam, she wanted to end their reign.

How did she want to end their reign? By breaking the two up. Sam slipped a note in both of their lockers about meeting to break up during one of their classes, causing both of them to skip. Your job was to lead a teacher to their meetup and if everything went right, then they would be successfully broken up and in detention.

Both of you hear footsteps and see the couple at the meetup spot. The teacher wasn’t far away, all you had to do was rile him up a little and run away. Did you feel a little bad? Maybe. But in your defense the couple was always making out in the hallways and made everyone passing by uncomfortable. For gods sake, it was middle school! Not high school

You and Sam were far enough away you couldn’t hear them but their body language was enough for the both of you to understand. Your plan was going perfectly. You and Sam were more the vigilante type, not the heroes or the villains

The couple exchanged pointed looks and flailing arms, hopefully arguing about the note. You and Sam wrote… not the nicest things in there

The teacher eventually arrives out of breath but the couple is too busy yelling each other to notice how he’s standing over them. He looks to clear his throat and to their horror, they stop fighting. Success!

“Yes! We did it!” Sam says a little too loudly from the position you two were in. Their heads turn in your direction and you know you’re caught when the teacher stars walking towards you two

“Hey! What’re you two doing there under the bleachers?” His ragged voice yells

Shit.

//-//

“Sam? What’s wrong?” You run to the Carpenter, who’s outside under a tree eating her lunch. Usually she’d wait for you but today seemed different

“Get away from me, (Y/n).”

“Sam, don’t be like that. You know me, you can tell me what’s wrong.” You and Sam didn’t share too many classes in eighth grade. Even then, your friendship still didn’t seem to falter. You’d still hang out after school and help each other study. Sam lashing out at you was never really a problem you two had

“No! You don’t know anything.” Sam shoves you away when you try to put your hand on her shoulder. “You’re useless.”

“Sam, you don’t mean that. Please just tell me what’s wrong?”

“You wouldn’t understand. You don’t understand anything.”

“Yes I do! We always talk to each other, Sammy. Even if I’m not going to understand, I can still listen”

“Don’t say that stupid name.”

“I thought you liked Sammy?”

“See, that’s the thing with you! You’re always so stuck in the past. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“You’re not being very nice right now”

“Yeah? Well you can deal with it.” The last thing you expect Sam to do is push you onto the ground into a patch of dirt.

“We’re done. I’m not your friend anymore.”

“Sam- we can talk about this” Tears pool in your eyes. You try to get up but all that happens is a crawl

“We can’t. You’re weak and pathetic and can’t do anything without me.”

Sam doesn’t look back when you say her name through tears. Sam doesn’t look back when she hears a few laughs and whispers directed at you. Sam doesn’t look back.

//-//

“Heyyyyy (Y/n)!” Sam’s voice slurs over the phone. It was almost one in the morning, what the hell was this girl doing? Not to mention this is the first time she��s even talked to you since middle school. And yet, you still answered without hesitation. Damn you really needed to grow a backbone

“Sam? What’s going on?”

“Nothingggggg whut’re y’doin?”

“I was trying to go to sleep then you called me. Where are you?”

“Why’d y’wanna know? You’re not my momma!”

“Are you drunk? Sam, you’re underage!”

“No fun… I’m wif my friends! We at a partayyy!”

“Whose house are you at?” Grabbing your keys, you race to the door. Your dad was asleep and you only had your learners permit but you couldn’t just hang up on your Sam like that.

“Uh… Tristan? He’s in our uh… what class is he in?”

“Math. Tristan from math, got it” You knew where he lived. You tutored the guy as requested by his parents but he paid you more money to stop coming to his house than his parents did for your tutoring business. How could you say no to free money?

Thankfully he wasn’t far. Thank god for that, you weren’t one to drive at night

You go faster than you hope but luckily you don’t get pulled over. You really didn’t want to go to overnight jail and face your dad the next morning but surely he would understand the circumstances you were in. He knew you, he knew Sam, he knew the devotion.

At least that’s what you told yourself on the way to Tristan’s house

You could hear the house blasting bad music from about four blocks away. It was a wonder how the police hadn’t shown up yet. Unless he paid off them too. You wouldn’t put it past the guy

Were you invited? No. But in all the movies you’ve watched - said movies being Mean Girls - random people just showed up and nobody cared enough to kick them out. So you walked up to the door like you were invited and instantly started looking for Sam

The music was so loud you could feel it in your lungs and couldn’t hear your thoughts. You couldn’t imagine this was the scene Sam was willing to put herself in but then again you hadn’t talked to her in years. Maybe under all those layers she was a party animal at heart

You internally laugh at the thought. Like hell Sam’s actually a party animal

After a bit you find Sam snorting some drug that probably shared the name with a sexually transmitted disease. Grabbing the sleeve of her shirt, you drag her out of the house while her friends groan and call you a party pooper.

“Hey! Wh- what’s wrong wif you!?”

“We’re going home, Sam. I’m taking you home”

“No! T-Tara can’t see me. Wanna go somewhere else…” Sam struggles against your grip. She’s always been stronger than you but in her intoxicated state you could probably carry her like a sack of potatoes if you tried hard enough

“Fine, I’ll take you to my house. You can spend the night”

“Noooo, wanna party…”

“We’re going home, Sam.”

In all of your years of friendship with Sam, she’s never seen you so stern before. The Carpenter keeps her mouth shut for the rest of the car ride.

After lots of trial and error, you eventually get Sam out of your car and into your bedroom with much difficulty. Thankfully your dad was the heaviest sleeper you knew. You search for a shirt and shorts that fit Sam, ignoring her protests of not wanting to sleep

Against your better judgment, you now have your intoxicated ex-best friend in your bed as her sobriety was nowhere to be found

“Why did you call me, Sam? Even in your state I know you couldn’t do that on accident”

“Ugh, friends made me. Wan’ me t’call my first crush”

“What?” You’re taken aback. Did you hear her correctly?

“Tired… m’sleepy”

You sigh, bringing your hand to Sam’s face to stroke her cheek. Your heart breaks when the older Carpenter leans into your hand like a touch starved cat. You wished things would go back to normal but Sam was stubborn. She wouldn’t let you in no matter how many times you tried.

“Go to sleep, Sam. I hope I’ll see you in the morning” You’re only met with small snores

You wanted to hate Sam. You wanted to hate Sam with all your heart for pushing you away and not even looking at her sister anymore

You wanted to hate Samantha Carpenter so badly but you couldn’t

//-//

It’s nine thirty in the morning when you hear a knock at your door. It was a Saturday. Who the hell was up this early? Rubbing the sleep from your eyes and attempting to smooth out your hair with your hands, you begrudgingly walk downstairs to the door. Your dad was at work already and usually you weren’t up at this hour

Looking through the peephole, you don’t expect to see Tara Carpenter in tears at your door.

“Hey what happened, sweetheart?” You bend down to meet Tara’s eyes. They were red and puffy, evidently showing she was crying a lot. And a lot before she got to you

“S-Sam, she-“ Your heart broke when Tara couldn’t let out even a few words without hiccuping and sniffling

“You can tell me later, darling. How about we drink some juice and you can tell me what’s happening, yeah?”

“No! S-Sam’s…” There seemed to be a never ending amount of tears flowing. “She’s gone, (Y/n). She’s gone and she’s gone for good.” Tara runs into your arms, staining your shirt with her tears.

“What do you mean, baby?”

“M-Mom said Sam left a-and isn’t coming back…” Your heart breaks when Tara’s breathing gets quicker and isn’t able to catch her breath

You pick up the younger Carpenter, taking her to your couch. Tara’s on your lap and you’re holding her just like her mom probably did when she was born. It was something your dad always did, even when you got older. Sometimes people just needed to be babied no matter how old they were.

So you start rocking Tara. She’s holding onto you like you’re the only thing keeping her alive and you move her ear to your heart. Placing her head under your chin, you hum a tune that was familiar to you. A lullaby your mom always sung to you before she died

You kiss Tara’s forehead with tears in your eyes. You saw how Sam changed and you couldn’t help her. You knew this day was going to come and you couldn’t stop it. But how could you?

When Sam looked at you with such hatred and anger, you’d wonder if she was still the same Sam that pushed Carlos because he broke your new crayons. When you saw her high out of her mind with people that didn’t care about her, you’d wonder if she was the same Sam that watched the stars with you on your trampoline. When you looked at Sam all you could see was what you two were. Was your Sam even still in there there?

You felt disgusted with yourself. You could’ve done something and yet you did nothing.

You’d never see best friend again and Tara would only remember her sister as hateful and unloving. Memories of Sam would go sour until you only had Tara and Tara only had you as a reminder of who Sam used to be.

When the younger Carpenter sees you also crying, she somehow manages to hug you tighter than she already has. What a lovely girl Tara was.

“A-Are you okay, (Y/n)?” The brunette says in a small voice

“Can I be honest with you, Tara?” You earn a nod from the small girl

“No. I’m not okay. But you know what? I’ve got you and you got me. Thank you for telling me.”

“(Y/n)?”

“Yeah?”

“Mom says she isn’t coming back. Sam didn’t talk to me a lot but I miss her.”

“You’ve got such a big heart, Tara. Did you know that? Please don’t ever lose it for me.”

“Will Sam come back?”

Your breath hitches and for a second you’re left without words in your throat and without knowledge about the future.

“Yes… she’ll come back. Sam just doesn’t know it yet.”

Tara’s mom comes storming in a second later with an out of breath angry expression that slowly softens when she sees how her daughter is nestled in your arms

“Tara, you can’t just run away like that. You made me so scared, you know I can’t run as fast as you” Her mom presses a kiss to her forehead

“I had to tell (Y/n), Mom! She’s Sam’s best friend and she deserved to know”

Her mom brought a hand to Tara’s face to wipe a few stray tears. With her other, she placed on your shoulder with a small nod. Sam was gone. She was gone for good.

//-//

Sam spends her first night away from home in her car in a neighborhood she didn’t recognize. The first night Sam leaves, she holds Ghostie in her arms and hopes it’s enough to keep her safe.

//-//

“You’re hiding something”

“What?” You and Tara always hung out ever since Sam left. Her mom hasn’t been the same since her husband walked out. You offered to be one of Tara’s caretakers to help her mom with the load of being a single mother without Sam or her husband’s support

Your dad wasn’t home very often but every now and again he’d give you random tips on how to raise a teenager. At least, tips he used when he raised you. At first he was skeptical of you taking on the role of caretaker at such a young age but when you employed Tara to use her puppy eyes, it was a losing battle for him.

So Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, Tara was all yours. You’ve been doing this since you turned eighteen and could confidently drive without being nervous at all. Also mostly because you couldn’t be her guardian in the eyes of the law under eighteen

There was a void in Tara’s heart and while you couldn’t fully replace her sister, the least you could do was be there. Which is how you knew something was up when she started picking at one of the things she loved so dearly. Your cooking.

“I know you’re hiding something, squirt”

“You’re crazy, I’m not hiding anything” Tara scoffs

“Hey, I’m not decades older than you. I know when you’re lying” You hated pulling the ‘I used to be your age’ card but now you’re realizing how effective it is when you’re only six or seven years older than Tara

Tara throws her head back, groaning in what seems to be frustration and covering her face. You can’t hold back your snicker. The younger Carpenter was always one for theatrics

“You don’t have to tell me but I could really help you, you know? With how super knowledgeable I am, as you know”

“Knowledgeable my ass, you didn’t know your microwave had a popcorn button until I told you”

“In my defense, I heard you’re not even supposed to use the popcorn button for popcorn”

“Then why is it called a popcorn button?”

“I dunno. Maybe the same reason why Greenland is called Greenland”

“What?”

“Deception. The guy who found Greenland named it that cause he wanted more people to come over. I bet he was lonely”

“Why do you know that?” Tara says in between laughs

“No clue, but we’re getting off topic!” You smile. “The point is, you shouldn’t feel like you have to keep secrets from me.” You reach over to pinch Tara’s cheek and she tries to swat your hand away, ultimately failing. “Well, big secrets. If you cheated on a test or something I don’t care that much”

“Thanks, (Y/n)”

“No problemo, squirt”

So now you were back to silently eating dinner except for your TV playing some sitcom Tara liked. You could handle the quietness. Even if Tara didn’t want to tell you, at least she knew you were there to listen. That’s all that mattered

“(Y/n), I think I like a girl.”

//-//

“What was Sam like?” Tara says out of the blue. “I was thirteen when she left but she didn’t really talk to me. What was she like… before that?”

It was another weekend night that consisted of spending time with Tara. The question catches you off guard

“I don’t think you’d believe me, squirt”

“Well I wanna know anyways. Even if i believe it or not”

“Did you know Sam named you?”

“She did?”

“Yeah, Sam named you Tara. You were unnamed for a while before she came up with anything.”

“Mom said she was mean. Is that true?”

“I mean yeah, but not entirely. When you’re friends with Sam, she’d be the nicest person you’ve ever met. Hell, she’d probably kill for anyone she loved. But when someone messed with a person she loved, nothing could stop her from making her loved one feel better”

“I wish I could’ve experienced it.”

“Trust me, you did. You just don’t remember it. One time when you were little, a kid that was around Sam’s age at time pushed you into the mud at the playground and Sam was furious” You laugh

“You cried and Sam could hear you from where we were playing soccer. She found him and kicked his ass so hard he crawled back to his mommy so we took you and booked it out of there”

“She did that?” Tara covers her mouth laughing, failing to cover it up

“I remember it like it was yesterday, squirt. Sam gave you a piggy back ride and you were giggling the entire time we ran home.”

//-//

“Fuck, Tara! Shit, I came as fast as I could. Are you okay? Oh my god, of course you’re not okay.” You barged into Tara’s hospital room without any concern of who else was in there. You took her face in your hands and scanned for anything wrong until you brought her into a bone crushing hug. “Sorry, stupid question. Holy shit I’m so happy you’re alive, squirt. I am never letting you out of my sight again. Okay maybe in the future I will, but the future is not now! Right now I’m never leaving you again.”

“You’re such a fighter, you know that? Holy shit you must’ve been so scared. Tara you’re the strongest person I know, did you know that?” There are tears in your eyes threatening to spill. You don’t even notice there are other people in the room.

“Deep breaths, (Y/n). I’m okay. Look, I’m right here” Tara takes one of your hands and puts it against her heart. Your eyes can’t hold in your tears any longer. When you cried, you rambled. Tara was ready for the storm.

“Fuck you’re such a sweet girl, Tara. Even when you’re lying in a hospital bed you care about me. I don’t know what monster would do this to you! He obviously doesn’t know what a blessing to this world you are. Please promise you’ll never let anyone stop you from being the beautiful sweet girl you are.”

There it was.

You felt a hand rub your back and your arm. You assumed it was Tara. Until you heard a hum that wasn’t Tara’s. Until you realized this person had rough hands. And oddly smelt like…

“Sam?” Your head whips around

“Hey, (Y/n). I… I missed you.”

“Sam?” You let go for a second and bring your hand to her face. Not in a cute or romantic holding-her-cheek-way, no, you pinch at her cheeks and nose with a questioning look. You poke at Sam’s forehead and nose, still probably in disbelief. Yeah, you were still her (Y/n).

“Please don’t tell me both of you are dead and I’m actually in a psych ward and this is all a dream” You whisper and you can hear Tara laugh behind you

“No, this is all very real.” Sam smiles, taking your hand off her face and gently putting it back by your side. Your eyes go wide and you whip around to look back at the younger Carpenter

“Tara, can I take my attention off you for a second? Will you be okay?” You whisper, knowing damn well Sam could hear you

“Yeah I’ll be okay, (Y/n). Go hug Sam.”

You press a kiss against Tara’s hairline and immediately after, launch into Sam’s arms. Tara could feel it again, you were going to start crying and rambling.

“Sam, I can’t believe you’re here! Well of course you’re here. I always knew you’d come back! I knew you wanted to come back. I don’t know why you left, but I hope you achieved your goal and came back because you missed us. Also I’m really mad at you but for the sake of time we can discuss that at a later time.”

There it was.

“You two are close, huh?” You don’t notice there’s a man with curly hair in the room and you raise an eyebrow at Sam

“Yeah, very close” You say

“Sorry, I should introduce you two. (Y/n), this is my boyfriend Richie. Richie, this is (Y/n). My…” Fuck. Sam couldn’t just say you were her best friend after all these years. After she made your life shit, was she even allowed to call you her friend? What if-

“Best friend. Happy to meet you, Richie”

“Likewise” He smiles. There’s a pang of a certain emotion in your chest you can’t quite place

“Well, I’ll be going now. Feel better soon, Tara” Richie waves at the younger Carpenter and gives Sam a kiss before he leaves Tara’s hospital room

“Do you know if my friends are visiting soon?” Tara asks you. Sam doesn’t know how to feel when she sees Tara treating you more like a sister than her. She knew it was wrong. Sam had no right to be treated like a sister after she just up and left all those years ago

“Amber told me she was getting some of your things from her house. The twins are coming over right now, okay? I think you’ll feel better when you see them”

Sam felt like an alien watching you and Tara talk. Watching you two was like watching everything she’s missed. Sam missed almost all of Tara’s high school experience. Arguably one of the most important times to have an older sister. She shouldn’t have been jealous. She wasn’t allowed to be jealous after all she did to you and Tara

“How’re you feeling right now? Anything I need to tell the doctors?”

“No, I’m feeling okay”

“Hey, can I talk to you outside, (Y/n)?” Sam says almost above a whisper

“Yeah, of course.” You turn to face Tara as you walk out her room. “See you in a second, squirt. Don’t run away” The brunette rolls her eyes at your words

“Guess I owe you all my stuffed animals, huh?”

“You still remember that?” You raise an eyebrow at the girl

“I do. I owe you an explanation, don’t I?”

“An explanation would be appreciated” You weren’t mad at Sam per se, just very very very disappointed. Mostly at yourself for letting her leave

“You remember when I yelled at you that day in middle school? I said I didn’t want to talk to you or be your friend anymore? It’s not an excuse, but I have an explanation.”

You nod along to Sam’s story, listening close

“The night before I yelled at you, I found out my dad wasn’t really my dad. I was going through my mom’s diaries I found in the attic and it was the worst thing I’ve ever done. I.. I found out I was-“ Sam doesn’t realize she’s crying until she chokes on her words and your expression falters. Sam remembers you were always good at comforting people

She’d always get bruises and scrapes when she was younger but you were always there to make her feel better. Fuck, she can’t remember why she would ever leave you. You were the perfect best friend. Always an inviting smile and open arms that were ready for hugs. The only one that stuck with Sam through whatever happened.

Sam was at her lowest of lows when you picked her up that night during the party. She remembers wondering why she’d put you so much pain and worry. She smoothed out the wrinkles on your forehead while you were asleep and felt guilty she was probably the cause of them. That night when you picked up Sam from that party and you had your arms wrapped around her, Sam asked herself why she would ever push you away. She loved everything about you. She loved you.

In her drunken state she remembers wanting to fade away into your memory. At least then you’d remember the Sam that played tag with you and not the one that snorted or drank away her pain. It was the same night she decided to leave everything behind. She decided to leave you behind

But Sam was selfish. She wanted you to tell her not to go. To come back into your arms and for you to tell her everything would be okay. That it didn’t matter she was the bastard child of a serial killer. It wasn’t her fault her dad left. Reassuring her you and Tara would love Sam the same. In a perfect world Sam would’ve still been Tara’s sister and you would’ve been her-

“Hey, look at me. You don’t have to tell me. If this is hurting you so much then I understand why you wanted to run away. What matters is that you came back. You’re strong for that” You pull Sam into your arms, letting her cry into the side of your neck.

Sam didn’t have the heart or the voice to tell you it wasn’t the story making her cry. She feared her voice would fail her and drive you away again. Sam would tell you why she left later

But right now, Sam was happy to be able to bask in your arms once again.

//-//

“Hey, (Y/n)?”

“Mhm?” You and Sam were back at your house getting some things Tara wanted

She requested the teddy bear Amber got her for her birthday, a blanket from her bed, and something better than hospital food. You decided to whip up something quick and simple you knew Tara liked. Frozen orange chicken from the store and fried rice

“I think I can tell you about why I left now.”

“Are you sure? I’m not gonna force you to tell me if it hurts so much to say, Sam”

“No, you of all people deserve to know. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m the same person that said all those horrible things to you and just never talked to you again without explanation.”

“Hey, don’t worry about all that. It’s in the past now and I know you’ve changed. I forgive you-“

“No, (Y/n). You can’t forgive me. You can’t make excuses for me and talk to me like we’re best friends again when I ignored you because I was mad at myself and- and-“ Sam chokes on her words and can’t hide it when you glance at her.

“Oh, Sam…”

“No, you can’t forgive me yet. I betrayed your trust. You can’t forgive me.”

“Sam, I accepted your apology when I saw you in Tara’s hospital room. Whatever you were going to say, I already knew I’d forgive you all the same.”

“Stop saying that, (Y/n). You don’t always have to be nice, you can be mad too.”

“But it’s true, Sam. If I’m mad at someone, I’m mad at myself for not fighting for you harder”

“How can you still look at me even when I left you. Years of friendship, all down the drain because I couldn’t handle being the bastard child of a serial killer that broke her family apart.” You turn off the heat to your stove, walking over to where Sam was curled into herself and sitting near the bottom of the staircase

Taking a seat next to her, you drape your arm around her shoulders and attempt to get her to rest her head on your shoulder. Sam doesn’t let you and fights back.

“Samantha Carpenter, you have been gone for five years. One-thousand eight hundred and twenty-five days, not including leap day. You aren’t allowed to push me away again. If you really want to say sorry, you can start by letting me in.” You take on a faux-mad tone and it seems to work

Slowly, the older Carpenter leans into your shoulder with a sigh. She makes herself comfortable and looks at you through her eyelids. It was weird. Five years out of Woodsboro and four years away from you, yet you still opened up your arms like nothings changed. It was odd. You were odd.

“What’re you thinking about?” You’ve always had a knack for reading Sam’s mind. Whenever she got quiet and her heart looked like it slowed, she was probably thinking

“You.”

“What about me?”

“How I don’t get you”

“What don’t you get about me?”

“I haven’t talked to you in nine years, I show up unannounced, and you’re still acting like we’re best friends even after all this time. I can’t tell if you’re the nicest or weirdest person ever.”

“Can’t I be both?” You smile, trying to lighten the mood. You realize it doesn’t work when Sam shies away from your gaze

“Well, I can be honest. I think it’s because I’m selfish.” That makes Sam look at you again so you decide to keep going

“Of course I’m… disappointed you broke up our friendship and you left without telling me and left your sister and I to believe you were never coming back,” The older Carpenter winces at your words but you don’t let her stop looking at you. Even as you avoid eye contact and place your gaze somewhere else.

“But there’s a part of me that wants everything to go back to normal. I know we’re going to have to talk about it. About us and about why, but right now I think what we need to do is be there for Tara. She’s in the hospital after being attacked by a serial killer and the last thing she needs is her older sister and her best friend fighting. We can do all the yelling and crying and screaming later.”

Taking a breath in, you look back at Sam who’s already looking at you. I’m makes your heart flutter in a way you don’t understand.

“And maybe that’s my excuse. Maybe I never want to cry or yell or scream at you. Maybe I’m putting off the inevitable because I don’t want you to leave again. Maybe Tara is my excuse for not being mad at you. Maybe I’m holding out hope for someone that doesn’t exist anymore. We’re different people than when we were in middle school. I don’t want to cling to a person that doesn’t exist anymore yet here I am, clinging to someone that doesn’t exist like she’s my lifeline. But in all honesty, I don’t think I could stay mad at you for too long. Even if I tried.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” There’s a silence that passes between you two. You can’t tell if it’s awkward or comfortable silence. You hope it’s the latter

“Do you get me a little more?”

“Well, not entirely. But I think it’s a step.”

“Yeah. Steps are good, aren’t they? Keep you healthy.” Sam smiles at your stupid joke.

You don’t miss how Sam still reminds you of looking like one of your old stuffed animals.

“What was Tara like?”

“What do you mean?” The question catches you off guard. The Carpenter sisters seemed to have that in common

“I missed a lot of her life. What was she like?”

“I don’t think she’s changed a lot. Tara is a sweet girl, she’s got a good head on her shoulders and a good heart in her body.”

“But that’s probably not what you’re asking. Tara was… distraught when you left.” You pick your words carefully. “She ran away from her mom just to tell me you left. She said I deserved to know since I was your best friend. It took a while for her to want to let go of me me. It’s when I knew I just couldn’t let her stay like that forever”

You shakily sigh before continuing. You’d have to acknowledge the elephant in the room eventually and you decided it was going to be now. “I know I’m not her real sister. I hope you’ll forgive me for taking a role that was supposed to-“

“Are you kidding?” Sam quickly cuts you off when she registers what you’re saying. “If anything, I’m happy it was you.” The Carpenter lifts her head up from your shoulder to look at you. To really look at you. “I know she has a good person to look up to. I’m happy you two are close.”

You’re about to respond when your ringtone goes off. The same ringtone you had in high school. Some Evanescence song you remember religiously listening to in school blasts from your phone. Usually it was Tara who found it embarrassing when you had to answer it in public but this time it was you with the reddened cheeks. Scrambling to find your phone in your pocket, you pull it out to see it’s Tara calling you

“Hey squirt. What’s up?”

“Are you guys going to hurry up anytime soon? I’m starving”

“Yeah we’re leaving just now don’t worry about it”

“Okay but my stomach is currently eating itself”

“You’ll live. I’ll see you soon, yeah? Don’t go running anywhere”

“At least I don’t run jokes into the ground until they’re dead… pun not intended”

“Hah! Proof you’re taking after me whether you like it or not”

“Whatever, I’ll see you soon. Run red lights if you have to”

“You got it, boss. See you soon” You pocket your phone, getting up from where you’re sitting. Offering Sam your hand, she takes it and you help her up too

“C’mon, our little girl’s hungry. That’s something you should know, she’s got an appetite the size of an elephant and a metabolism as fast as a cheetah” You smile, putting Tara’s food in a lunchbox you had in a random cabinet somewhere

Sam doesn’t trust her voice to do anything but break so she laughs at your comment and you both leave your house

Sam thinks our little girl has a good ring to it.

//-//

“Oh my god. Tara? Sam?” You narrowly avoided the police yelling at you to get away and the caution tape that prevented you from coming any closer. What used to be a house that held fond memories had been replaced with one that only caused you worry. You couldn’t lose both Tara and Sam. You couldn’t lose your favorite girls.

Sam texted you to come over to Amber’s house. That it was a Ghostface emergency and the speed in which you jumped in your car rivaled The Flash himself

“(Y/n)!” Sam’s voice. You run to the sound, dodging and weaving through the paramedics and police officers telling you to leave

Sam finds you with bags under your eyes and your hair a mess. It looked like you were in your sleepwear. Even though you were just in a band tee and plaid pajama pants, Sam feels the need to wipe the blood off her face and clothes to look a little presentable. You always had that effect for some reason

“Sam.” You breathe a sigh of relief, running into her arms. Your choked sobs reach her ears and it’s the saddest sound she’s ever heard. Sam squeezes you tighter. Maybe if she did she’d never want to leave again

“You’re back and you almost left me again. Don’t you know how mad I would be if you died?” Pulling back, you put both of your hands on Sam’s cheeks like you did so many years ago. “You- you-“

“Hey, shh… I’m here. I’m here, sweetie. See? I’m here and I’m never leaving again.” Sam leans her forehead against yours, putting your hands around her waist so she could wipe the tears away from your face.

“I’m here, yeah? We won. They’re gone now, (Y/n).”

“How’re you sure?”

“They’re dead. Both of the Ghostfaces are dead.”

Sam leans in, awfully close for someone who’s just your best friend. Your mind instantly goes to her boyfriend. You know what’s about to happen so you back away, a little weary. The Carpenter furrows her eyebrows looking a little sad, oddly resembling a kicked puppy.

“What about Ric-?”

“Don’t say his name, it’ll ruin your perfect mouth” Sam cups your cheek, running her face over your bottom lip

You have to fight your body to not get hot at her words and actions. “Yeah but- he’s kind of your boyfriend. Where is he?”

“Ex-boyfriend actually. He’s dead, I killed him.”

“Oh. Am I right for assuming that’s a god thing?”

“Very good. He was one of the Ghostfaces”

“One of? Who’s the other?”

“I think Tara should be the one to tell you”

“Well, I didn’t like Richie to begin with. He gave me an odd feeling”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Sam leans in closer to you, a ghost of a kiss hanging in the air waiting to be taken. Sam smiles against your breath and for a fraction of a second you think your heart has stopped beating.

“He got to kiss you before I did.” Something snaps in Sam when you kiss her. A craving she’s always had, a certain desire finally being filled, or maybe even her dreams coming true.

You hold Sam like she’s about to leave again, pulling her impossibly close. You’re never letting her go again. It’s Sam who pulls away first. She’s out of breath but you lean in to steal more kisses before she smiles against your lips and it’s an image you never want to forget.

“Please, you two have to stop doing this.” You whisper, your eyes going wide. “Where’s Tara?” You pull away from Sam, whipping your head around like it’s going to help you find her quicker

“C’mon, she’s over here. Be careful, don’t squeeze her too hard”

“I’m going to squeeze that girl until she knows how much I love her.”

“You might break one of her ribs, darling”

“Squirt, you’re alive!” You run to Tara as her head whips in your direction. You can feel tears pool in your eyes once again and you’re okay with letting them go.

“(Y/n), I was so scared. A-Amber she- she tried to kill me.”

“What? Amber? Amber as in, your girlfriend?” You say shocked, taking Tara’s face in your hands to look at her

“A-Amber and Richie, they-“

“How about we tell (Y/n) what happened later? We need to make sure everyone is okay, including ourselves. (Y/n) can wait, right?”

“Oh I can wait alright. I’m the best at waiting. You can tell me about it when you’re feeling better”

One of the paramedics call over the Carpenter sisters and by proximity, you tag along. A man is ushering them in an ambulance and you’re also about to hop in before he stops you

“Ma’am, I’m sorry but we can’t let you into the ambulance. We don’t have enough space.”

“That is my little girl and that is my girlfriend. I will either be running every single red light, hang on the top of this ambulance, or so forgive me god for what I’m going to do.”

“O-Of course, Ma’am. You can ride in the ambulance.”

“Thank you, sir. You made a good decision today” You pat his shoulder, taking your seat near Sam. You sling an arm around Sam’s shoulders and reach out to hold Tara’s hand.

“Girlfriend, huh?” Tara weakly smiles, looking between you and her sister.

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Auntie Row

Rowena & Winchester little sister!reader, team free will & Winchester!reader

Requested by anonymous

Synopsis: Rowena has a soft spot for the Winchester’s little sister, and they get into lots of trouble together (I suck at synopsis, just read the fic it’s better)

Warnings: honestly nothing, time frame makes no sense with reader’s age but 🤷‍♀️

“Rowena, what do you think you’re doing?”

The witch looked up in surprise when the Winchester brothers entered.

“Sammy!” You, the brothers’ six-year-old sister, ran straight to your big brother and giggled when he lifted you into his arms.

“Oh, you’re back,” Rowena said, cringing. “That was quick.”

“Auntie Row is teaching me how to do magic, like Hermione!” You babbled excitedly.

“Rowena…” Dean growled in warning.

“Now now, she’s a growing girl!” Rowena defended herself. “Learning magic is a perfectly natural part of growing up.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Sam scoffed.

“But Sammy!” You whined.

“Nu-uh,” Sam shook his head. “C’mon, it’s about time you had a nap.” He carried you out without another word to Rowena, who huffed dramatically and started to gather her belongings.

“When we said you could watch Y/N—“ Dean began, but Rowena cut him off.

“I know you didn’t mean this, but honestly Dean Winchester, how d’you expect the girl to defend herself if she can’t use magic?”

“She doesn’t have to,” Dean insisted. “We’ll protect her.”

“Oh honestly, you can’t be around her all the time! If she had magic, she could—“

“For the last time Rowena; no.” Dean’s tone left no room for argument.

“Uh, guys.” Sam returned to the room with a slight frown on his face. “Y/N said she wants Rowena to continue her story from last night. She’s refusing to sleep without it.”

“Well,” Rowena smirked. “Duty calls.”

“Hey.” Dean caught Rowena by the arm, and she glared at him. “Magic always comes with a price. I don’t want her to have to pay it.”

Rowena softened.

“I understand, Dean Winchester.”

His grip slackened, and Rowena left to go to you.

…

“I have a little something for you,” Rowena said as she stepped into your room.

“Can we finish the story?” You asked.

“Of course, sweet girl, of course. But first, I want to show you something. You remember that cursed necklace from the story? The one that protected the witch from the angry mob?”

“Uh-huh.” You nodded excitedly.

“Well, I think it’s time it protected someone else.” Rowena grinned, unclasping the necklace that was hidden behind her shirt and carefully putting it on you.

“Really?” Your eyes went wide as you stared up at the witch.

“Yes. That will protect you from anyone who wants to harm you. That way you don’t have to use any magic, just like your brothers said.”

“Thank you, Auntie Row,” you breathed sincerely, reverence painting your tone as you admired the glowing red jewel.

Rowena leaned forward and kissed your forehead.

“You’re very welcome, sweet thing. Now, let’s finish that story, shall we?”

…

“Kiddo, please, it’s just for a few days,” Sam tried to soothe you, but you still wouldn’t let go of his leg and continued to cry. “Mary’s gonna take good care of you, I promise.”

“I could really help you guys on this one,” Mary argued.

“She needs someone to watch her,” Dean reasoned.

“And why am I the automatic choice?” Mary countered.

“You two are not helping,” Sam said through gritted teeth as he picked you up, letting you lay your head on his shoulder. He hated Mary’s distance from you; you were John’s, but not hers. He understood her reason for not getting close to you, but you were just a little kid, and you didn’t deserve that. Sam just rubbed your back, still trying to soothe you as you continued to sniffle.

“If you boys needed help, you could’ve just asked.”

The three adults turned in surprise at the sound of Rowena’s voice.

“I mean honestly, it’s not like I haven’t babysat before.”

Dean was hesitant. “I don’t know if—“

“Sounds like a plan,” Mary said, going to grab her duffel. She tossed over her shoulder, “now I can help on the hunt!”

“Am I gonna stay with Auntie Row?” You asked Sam, your eyes wide and pleading.

“I…yeah honey, you are,” Sam sighed.

“Yay!” You grinned, wiping your tears away and squirming in Sam’s grip.

“Ok, ok,” Sam chuckled, lowering you to the ground so you could run to Rowena for a hug. “It’s probably best that you guys don’t stay in the bunker.” Sam directed his next words at the witch holding his little sister. “The bunker’s system still goes a little wonky with a witch inside, so one of your safe houses is probably a better idea.”

“That works for me.” Rowena grinned. “How would you like to go to Paris, sweet thing?” She asked you.

“This is a horrible idea,” Dean sighed. But he still grabbed his bag and headed out to Baby anyway.

…

“We’re back!” Sam called as he stepped into the bunker.

“Sammy! De!” You squealed, running to your big brothers and reaching them just as they came down the stairs. Dean scooped you into his arms and held you tight, comforted to see such a happy sight after such a grueling hunt.

“Hey, what’s this?” Sam asked, noticing your outfit.

“Auntie Row took me to shops in Paris, and we got a lot of clothes!” You babbled excitedly as Dean let Sam pull you into his arms.

“You’re spoiling her, Rowena,” Dean chuckled, no longer quite so hesitant about the witch now that he saw how happy you were.

“And she deserves every bit of it,” Rowena said.

…

“Ow!”

“I’m sorry darling, but you must sit still!”

“What’s going on in here?” Sam asked curiously as he stepped into your room to see you and Rowena sitting in front of your vanity.

“I’m trying to do her hair, but she won’t stop squirming,” Rowena explained, running a little pink brush through your hair.

“It’s all knotty!” You whined.

“Well it won’t be in a minute,” Rowena said.

Sam just smiled as he watched you, finally getting experiences that you’d never had before; motherly experiences.

The more he watched, though, the more he noticed how much you were squirming, and how much you seemed to be whining.

“Hey, you seem kinda grumpy, kid. Did you get a nap today?” He asked, coming to stand beside you and Rowena.

“Yeah,” you sniffled.

“You’re kinda pale,” he muttered under his breath, getting on one knee and reaching the back of his hand out to touch your forehead. “Jeez kid, you’re burning up.”

“She’s ill?” Rowena put the brush down and turned your chair around so you were facing her, repeating Sam’s gesture and checking your temperature. “She is quite hot.”

“Hey, let’s get you into some pjs, ok?” Sam suggested, lifting you into his arms. “You should get some sleep.”

“I already had a nap!” You insisted, squirming in Sam’s arms.

“Hey Sammy, I think I found us a case,” Dean said, stepping into your room. “Something wrong?”

“She’s got a fever,” Sam sighed. “You should go without me.”

“Oh nonsense,” Rowena spoke up. “Just leave her with me.”

“I don’t want to leave her when she’s sick,” Sam argued.

“Oh she’ll be fine,” Rowena insisted. “I’ll give her some herbs and she’ll be out like a light, she’ll sleep until you get back.”

“I don’t know…” Sam sighed.

“How about this,” Rowena said. “You put her to bed, and leave once she’s asleep. I’ll watch over her, and I’ll call you if she worsens.”

“Alright.” Sam looked at you. “Is that ok kiddo?”

You nodded sleepily, suddenly not so eager to fight another nap.

“Sammy, my tummy hurts,” you whimpered.

Sam nearly melted at this, more reluctant than ever to leave you.

“I know sweetheart, c’mon let’s get you into some pjs and then you can go to sleep, ok?”

Sam helped you get dressed while Dean packed for the hunt. It didn’t take long to have you tucked into bed, and you fell asleep almost as soon as your head hit the pillow.

Sam lingered in your doorway, unsure about leaving you like this.

“She’ll be fine,” Rowena soothed the Winchester brother. “She’s asleep, and I’ll call you if anything changes.”

“Alright,” Sam sighed, grabbing the bag that Dean had packed him. “Just…take care of her, ok?”

“Always,” Rowena responded.

And she did. When the Winchester brothers returned, your fever had broken and you were resting on the couch with Rowena, some cartoon playing on the tv.

“Hello boys,” she greeted when she saw them.

“Hey kid.” Sam went straight to you, brushing your hair away from your face. “Are you feeling any better?”

Rowena went to speak to Dean while you answered Sam with a distracted “yeah,” continuing to watch your cartoon.

“Her fever broke,” she explained to him. “I think it’s best if she rests a bit more, though.”

“Thank you, Rowena,” Dean said sincerely. “She really seems to like you.”

Rowena smiled. “She does, doesn’t she?”

…

“Did you have fun?” Sam asked you.

You nodded, finally pulling your gaze from the cartoon.

“Yeah, I like Auntie Row!”

Sam smiled softly.

“I’m glad.”

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl

[lokigonnakmsforbucky]

Dean Winchester NSFW Alphabet

We made sammy one, we gotta make dean one! This was also requested by an anonymous user! Enjoy!

Rating: MINORS DNI!! 18++

Warnings: Its NSFW thats a warning enough;)

Like my spn posts? Ask to be on the tag list!

GIF NOT MINE

Check out my masterlist

A= Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Dean is definitely a cuddler, He is always holding you and making sure you are okay. You come first in his mind.

B= Body part (Their favorite body part on themselves and their partners.)

Dean's favorite part of his own body is his smile. He knows he could get what he wants in seconds with one flash of it. On his partner he loves their thighs and mostly when they are around his face ;)

C=Cum (What does he do with it. I AM disgusting)

Dean loves when he sees his cum all over you. Your face, your stomach, but he loves it when it drips out of you.

D=Dirty talk (How much do they dirty talk?)

This Man's mouth is DIRTY, he could get you on your knees in no time.

E=Experience (how experienced are they?)

Dean is definitely experienced to say the least, so rest assured he knows what he is doing.

F=Favorite position (goes without saying)

Cowgirl- Dean is a SUCKER for this position. He loves when you take him how you want him, plus a face full of tits? Yes please.

Doggystyle- Dean loves looking at you taking him, pounding into you to show you who you belong to.

G=Goofy (how goofy or how serious they are in the moment?)

Dean can be goofy or serious. Depending how you both feel or the heat of the moment.

I=Intimacy (How are things during the moment, romantic aspect.)

Deans eyes never leave your body, his hands are on you at every moment.

J=Jack off

Dean gets off at least 4 times a week, his sex drive is high and when he isn’t around you he has to release that frustration. Maybe even calling you for some sexy phone sex ;)

K=Kinks

Dean loves to be dominant with you, but what a lot of people don’t know is that he loves to be dominated by you. He loves when you take control over him and take what you need.

He also has a knife kink… he doesn’t get why he does but just the thought of having it out against your skin or his skin… he loves it.

L=Location (where you guys would do the deed)

Dean would do it anywhere you would be game to do it at, but his favorite is in Baby the sweet 67’ Impala…. Mostly when you give him road head.

M=Motivation (what turns him on, or gets them going)

Dean loves seeing you in his flannels… plus eating pie, having whip cream all over your face? He is ready to pounce.

N=No (Something they wouldn’t do, or turns them off.)

ANYTHING that hurts your or puts you in harms way. You are his world, he won’t let that get hurt.

O=Oral (do they like giving, receiving, both?)

Dean LOVES giving you head, eating you out like a cherry pie. Your his fav flavor though.

Dean loves when you give him head, it relaxes him instantly.

P=Pace (Are they slow? Fast? Rough?)

Depends on Deans mood, he loves taking you rough and fast. But he loves being nice and slow.

Q=Quickie (Their opinion on it, how often would they have one)

Dean is always up for quickies, anytime you both need one he is up and ready.

R=Risk (Are they risky)

In deans line of work, risk is dangerous. But if your down…so is he.

S=Stamina (how long can you last? How many rounds?)

Sessions with a Dean are long, hot, and heavy. You can take 3 rounds but Dean… he can make you do as many rounds he wants.

T=Toys (Do you guys own toys? Do they use them?)

You guys explore with vibrators and sometimes restraints.

U=Unfair (How likely would they tease?)

You would be the one that would be a tease, Dean would definitely have his way with you later ;)

V=Volume (How loud are they)

Dean breathes heavy, low growls and grunts

X=X-ray (what’s going own down there)

Dean is beyond average…he is definitely bigger than most guys.

Y=Yearning (How high is their sex drive)

Deans sex drive is VERY high, you can’t deny that.

Z=ZZZ (how fast he would fall asleep)

Dean would wait till you were taking care of and asleep before even getting comfortable. You come first.

[reigningqueenofwords]

Impossible

Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: 1,117 Request: @smoothdogsgir reader finds out she’s pregnant after Dean’s run in with the Hellhounds, She stays with Bobby and is there when he comes back 4 months later, both getting a nice surprise.

Read on AO3

Dean had been up front with you after he made his deal. You’d been seeing him for six months at the time, and he wanted to give you an out. You fought all weekend about it. He wanted you to go and live your life. You wanted to spend his last year with him.

You’d won. 

As the clock ticked closer and closer to the deadline, your stomach sank. You knew this was coming, but how did you prepare for something like that? The answer was simple. You didn’t.

Having been sick, you stayed back while the boys went on a last ditch effort to save Dean’s soul. You argued that you needed to be there, you had to be there. He’d kissed you deeply, tears in his eyes, and told you he loved you. Then, he’d walked out the front door. The second you heard the roar of the Impala, you fell to the ground, sobbing.

When you’d heard the door open, you had no idea how much time had passed since he’d left. You had been in a trance. Sam walked in, bloody, and crying. You lost it all over again, clinging to him. He’d lost a brother, and you felt as if you’d lost your soul mate.

At first, neither of you spoke all that much. It was hard on both of you. Finally, it was you who broke. You’d realized you’d missed a couple periods, and went to get a pregnancy test. Figuring it was all the stress the three of you had been under. Which would also explain you not even noticing.

Two weeks to the day of Dean’s soul being dragged off by hellhounds, you took the pregnancy test. You took it as soon as you woke up, still sleepy. You didn’t have to wait the three minutes. The positive came right away. You were pregnant. With Dean’s baby. Dean, who’s soul now belonged to hell. Who would be tortured, and would never know of his unborn child.

Covering your mouth, you sobbed, your other hand going to your stomach. It felt like you lost him all over again, only now you would have a reminder for the rest of your life. You’d look into a child’s eyes, and think of that heartbreaking good bye. How would you explain that to your child? That their father wasn’t there, because of a deal he made.

You walked out of the bathroom looking pale, wet streaks down your face. If Sam hadn’t known better, he would have thought you were a ghost. “I’m pregnant, Sammy.” You breathed, not looking up. Saying them out loud brought on another bought of tears.

Once you’d accepted that you were pregnant, you quit hunting. However, you weren’t comfortable enough (or financially stable enough) to go out on your own. So, you packed up your little car, hugged Sammy good bye, and drove to Bobby’s. You had called him and explained everything, sobbing over the phone. Without a hesitation, he opened his home to you.

It was an adjustment for both of you, but after some time, things went smoothly. You started helping out with research as much as you could, helping clean, and running errands for him. In return, he helped you clean out a spare room, and revamp it into a nursery. He’d become like an Uncle to you, and you were beyond thankful to him.

Before you knew it, you were six months pregnant. You’d been a bit late on getting into the ultrasound to find out what you were having- you should have gone the month before, so you were excited to reveal to Bobby what you were having. Pulling up to the front of the house, you grabbed your purse, and the ultrasound pictures, before sliding out of the car.

“Bobby!” You called out as you opened the front door, eyes on the pictures. “So, you owe me ten bucks. I’m having a girl!” You laughed. Looking up, you screamed and dropped everything. Your eyes went wide. “BOBBY!”

Dean stared at you, his eyes going to your rounded stomach. “Baby?” He breathed.

Bobby rushed out and sighed. “Idjit. I told you to stay back.”

“You didn’t tell me she was staying here.” Dean snapped.

“Am I going insane here? Because…that can’t be Dean.” You pointed at Dean.

“I’ll explain in a minute, let me get these for you.” Bobby said, crouching to get the pictures and your purse. “Here.” He handed them to you. “Come on, I’ll get you a glass of juice.”

Nodding, you followed Bobby, looked at Dean as you passed. He looked like your Dean, but that was impossible.

“That’s Dean?” You asked, tearing up. Bobby nodded. “How? He’s been dead for four months!”

Dean shrugged. “I don’t even know. Something pulled me from hell.”

You were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking your juice. Your feet were up on another chair, your hand resting on your stomach. “I need to process this. I’m going to lay down.” You sighed, putting your feet down and getting up.

The two men watched you go, and it was Bobby who spoke up first. “She’s six months pregnant. Baby’s yours.” He said quietly. “She was barely holding it together when she got here. Finally, as time went by, and we started working on the nursery, her mood seemed to improve. She still cries herself to sleep some nights, but not like before.”

“She said she’s having a girl.” Dean told him.

“Go on, ya idjit. Go comfort her.”

“Thanks, Bobby.” He gave him a small smile before heading upstairs.

You were laying on your side when you heard your door open. Without looking, you knew it was Dean. “I’m sorry I walked out, Dean. It’s just a hard thing to process.” You said quietly.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m back from the dead, that would be a lot for anyone.” He said as he quietly closed the door. You heard his boots hit the floor as he took them off, smiling slightly to yourself. “My first thought was getting to you. I figured the best place to start was Bobby’s. If anyone knew where to find you, it’d be him.” Feeling the bed dip, you closed your eyes. “I didn’t think I’d come here, find you, and get the shocking surprise that we’re having a little girl.” The emotion was clear in his voice. He laid behind you, his face in your neck, his arm around your waist, and his hand on your stomach.

Your fingers laced with his moments before she kicked. “I think she knows Daddy’s home.” You said quietly.

You felt  him smile. “Daddy’s home, and he’s not going anywhere.”

[winchester-reload]

Pairing: Dean/Cas

Tags: hurt/comfort, canon divergent, idiots in love

Read on AO3

All right, we’re officially outta gauze. We talkin’ about it?”

Cas sighed. His eyes swam along the ceiling, just as they’d been doing the entire evening. Through every stitch and wrap, he wouldn’t bring ’em down. “There’s nothing to talk about,” he said quietly. “It was just bad luck.”

“Uh uh. This ain’t bad luck. Bad luck is what Sammy’s gonna have if I lose you messy on a bad hunt. So how bout you go ahead and try that for me again.”

“It was just supposed to be one mimic—”

“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation— You know better than that!”

“Things happen, Dean. Things outside of our control. This was that. Things happened. It was a bad lead, but I made it out. That’s what should matter right now.”

Dean shook his head, tossed an empty gauze roll, now just a cardboard skeleton, and watched it clatter against the tin garbage can. Roll away. Tip and settle on its side near the door. It felt like it’d wobbled into his gut. He fussed at a frayed string along the fresh wrap at Cas’ chest, red already weeping through the cotton. He waited. When Cas still didn’t look at him, he sloughed the whole nurse routine and slid gentle fingertips up the bruises on his neck. Kissed the rough turn of his jaw as he planted a knee on the bed and stretched over him, careful of where he put his weight. Stopping only as Cas reluctantly caught his eye. “Yeah, it does matter,” Dean agreed. “Which is why you can’t just rip your grace out and run, balls out, toward the first hunt you find. I don’t care how good you are. You shoulda told me. Or you should’ve at least told Sam.”

“I did tell Sam—“

“Before it was a 9-1-1, Cas! Okay? Before! That wasn’t okay, and I’m pissed at you for it!”

Tears cropped up in Cas’ eyes, the deep frown in his brow waning to worry. “I know,” he relented. “I’m pissed at me too. It was stupid.”

“It was stupid—damn stupid.” Dean felt it go, the little water balloon of emotions in his chest that used to have brick sides and no air holes. It was exposed now, popped easily with Cas’ pins. “I can’t lose you, you understand? Not again. I don’t think I could come back from it.” Tears ate down his face, and Cas urgently chased them, trying to thumb them away. Like the whole world would fall with them if they got down too far.

“I’m sorry.” His voice cracked, exhaustion, maybe pain, finally winning out in his stubborn body. Or maybe he just couldn’t handle seeing Dean raw. Maybe that’s what shattered him every damn time. “It was just supposed to be one Mimic. Just one Mimic.” His own tears escaped, rolled through his temples into his hair, then onto the soft pillow behind his head, and Dean suddenly felt compelled to stop those too.

“All right, that’s enough.” He kissed Cas’ cheek, the wet trail at his temple. Dragging the tip of his nose gently alongside Cas’ again, where it belonged. It was easy sometimes to forget he was a warrior. A real one, not like Dean. He was Heaven-forged and army-trained. At one time, he was the leader of his own battalion. An angel strong enough to crack God’s hold and receptive enough to learn to love. Wise enough to understand the weight of both. And all of that was tucked into a fragile human now, healing beneath the sheets of Dean’s bed. A thought that made Dean feel unbelievably tiny and incomparably huge.

“We’re okay,” he said as he kissed Cas' mouth. Then, “You’re okay now,” because that seemed even more important. A smile finally broke away from him, running wild against the heat on Cas’ skin. “I can’t believe you got all seven vamps on your own, you showoff.”

[jasmines-library]

Devil in Disguise

WHUMPTOBER DAY 29: Prompt ‘oxygen deprivation’

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: After escaping from the cage, Lucifer decides to pay Sam a visit, only he's not there. So he settles on the next best thing: you.

Warnings: Choking, near death

Word count: 1.2k

MASTERLIST ⛤ WHUMPTOBER WORKS

🕸 ⋆ ⁶𖤐⁶ ࣪⋆🕸

No matter how many times you wished things would go your way, you never seemed to be that lucky. That was to say the least.

You were waiting antsily for your brothers to return, bouncing your leg restlessly and picking the thumb around your skin. They had only gone on a supply run; something they had done hundreds of times, but today something was different. You couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being followed. Every time you turned your back, you felt as though an invisible hand was trailing down your spine, but each time you turned to take a look, the feeling stopped. Perhaps it was to do with the face that Lucifer was back from the cage. 

It was an odd sensation. Seeing Lucifer possess your best friend. It was stranger to know what he was doing with his body too. The havoc and disruption he caused. You would have liked to have said that it got easier when he left Cas and returned to his first vessel, but then you were faced with the constant reminder of what he had done to Sam. You weren’t really sure which was worse. 

To try and take your mind off of things, you had settled down in the library with a book, A leather-bound copy of a handwritten journal that once belonged to a woman of letters. You had just settled into it when you heard it; a loud crash that thundered through the bunker. You had an unwanted visitor. 

Leaving the book on the armchair, you crept into the hallway, snagging a pistol that lay on the table on the way past. The good thing about the bunker was that it was crawling with weapons and you knew it like the back of your hand. But seemingly, so did the intruder. 

A cold hand wrapped its digits around your arm. You yelped as you were whipped around to face Lucifer. Tall and looming over you he grinned, flashing you his pearly teeth. 

“Hiya, Y/n?” He gave you a small wave. “ d’ya miss little old me?”

You shoved him off, holding the gun out in front of you even though you knew that your actions would be in vain. “Get away from me.”

You tried to run further into the bunker, but were stopped by an invisible force, keeping your body in place as though you were surrounded by a block of concrete. “What do you want from me?” 

He shrugged, trailing a slender finger along your jaw. “Can’t I pay a Winchester a visit?”

You gave him a firm look. 

“Okay. Fine.” He chewed the inside of his lip. “I got bored. All this hopping around… i'd got nothing to do. But now I’m back in good ol’ Nick. Well. I thought it would be nice to see some old friends. Maybe take Sammy on a little trip down memory lane. But it seems he’s not here right now. Isn’t that right?”

You didn’t respond. You just grimaced as he took your jaw in his grip and forced you to face him. You tried to squirm but were held still. 

“So, It looks like I'll just have to deal with the next best thing.”

You didn’t have a chance to react as he flung you against the wall, your head snacking against the blue tiles, helpless as you felt the invisible force squeeze you against the wall. 

“Let me go.” You demanded, desperately trying to pry your limbs away from the tile. 

Lucifer just pursed his lips. “Hm. I think this is much more interesting.”

“Sam and Dean’ll be back at any moment and then you’ll be a dead-”

Suddenly an invisible hand wrapped its way around your neck. “You talk too much.

You dropped to the floor, clawing at your neck as you tried to relieve some of the pressure that was crushing your windpipe like it was a can. You gasped and stuttered, trying to hungrily suck in air that refused to pass into your lungs. The agony that blossomed from them was unbearable; fiery and raw. 

Lucifer just smirked as he watched you struggle, tightening his mercilessly around your throat. 

Your chest constricted with fear. You had never imagined you would go down like this. For years you had believed you would go swinging. Never alone and without saying goodbye to your brothers. You flailed wildly as black spots swirled in your vision, and everything faded in and out.Your shoes slipped against the floor, struggling to find a grip on anything in your panic-filled reverie. That was until it stopped. 

Lucifer’s clutch on you vanished as your two brothers stormed into the bunker, noticing your absence. It was then that he heard the struggle coming from the halls. They had never moved faster than they did as they raced towards you, catching the devil off guard and after some struggle managed to restrain him with the cuffs. 

Sam was at your side in a second, squatting besides you. He placed his hands on your shoulder and forced you to look at him with your wide eyes. You were hyperventilating, breaths coming in short and desperate gasps. 

“Hey, Hey. Kiddo. Look at me.” You watched him carefully. Observing the way that his hair framed his face. “Follow my breathing.”

You took in a shaky, but deeper breath feeling the air rush into your lungs. You tried to follow your brother's breathing until yours settled into an even rhythm. 

“That’s it kid. You’re okay. We’re here.”

He wiped the stray tears that had fallen from your eyes and brough your head to his chest, tucking your head beneath his chin. You curled up tightly on his lap like you used to do when you were a small child afraid of the monsters that lurked under your bed. You leaned into his warmth, seeking solace in his cologne. 

“You’re okay kid.” He mumbled into your hair, threading your hair through his fingers. He eased you up into his arms and carried you off down the hall. When you dared peak over his shoulder, you noticed that Lucifer was nowhere to be seen. It was likely that Dean had forced him into the dungeon, but you clung closer to Sam just in case. 

He then eased open the heavy door with a creak and crossed the room in two large strides to lay you down on the comforter,Your head snapped up when he stepped away for a moment, panic clutching you tightly again.

You sniffled. “Sammy?”

“I’m here.” He said, returning moments later with Dean who had managed to slip in through the door at some point. 

He perched on the end of the bed. “Hey sweetheart.” He pulled you in close to his chest as his brother came round to sit on your other side. 

“You’re okay sweetheart.” Sam soothed. “He can’t get you anymore. No one is going to hurt you.”

You shuffled in closer to them, as exhaustion began to settle over your body. 

“Why don’t you try and get some rest, kiddo?”

You nodded hesitantly. “Stay with me? Please.”

Dean pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “Of course sweetheart. We’re not going anywhere.”

🕸 ⋆ ⁶𖤐⁶ ࣪⋆🕸

<- DAY 28 ⛤ DAY 30 ->

taglist:

@senjoritanana

@deans-spinster-witch

@amaryllis23

[k-slla]

New Traditions

A/n: There is no plot, just reader having some special birthday party with the Winchester boys

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, oral (m receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v (you know to be smarter than them, right?), strip poker (I just had to include the gif above🤤), alcohol consumption, language

Pairing: Dean x Fem!Reader x Sam (NO WINCHEST)

Word count: ~1.8k

My Masterlist

All mistakes are mine! Hope you'll enjoy!

You opened your bedroom door and were faced with bright light coming in from the hallway. Your room was dark and since bunker had no windows, you had no idea for how long were you out from the werewolf hunt.

You put on a large sweater, that once belonged to Dean. Something sweet smelling pulled you towards the kitchen. Dean got no sleep again, you thought, when you heard Led Zeppelin blaring in there. You entered the kitchen and was stunned by the view. Dean, in his gray Henley and jeans, which was a sight for sore eyes already, was rocking a black apron with some floury handprints on it. "So, what you're baking, babe?" You spoke up, when you realized he hadn't seen you enter. It might have been your imagination but you could swear you saw the big bad hunter flinch.

"Hey, look who's up!" He swiped his hands clean into his apron and came to give you a hug. "Happy birthday, sweetie!" You got bit confused. There was no way in hell you slept almost two days straight. "What time is it? How long was I out for? My birthday was still two days away, when we got back." You let go of him and another thought crossed your mind. "And how did you know when my birthday is? I haven't told you that!" He just shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, of course I know when's your birthday. Come on."

He took off the apron and literally dragged you out of the kitchen into the library, where Sam had put up some colorful banners. "Oh my god, you dorks. You didn't have to do that." You laughed. "Happy birthday, Y/N!" Sam came over to give you hug. "Thank you, Sammy!" You looked at the table and saw three shot glasses, bottle of whiskey and a deck of cards. Boys have something planned for the night and you suspected that Dean was behind this. You looked at him expectantly. "Dean, what is this?"

They looked at each other and Sam started talking, carefully choosing his words. "Oh, uhm, Dean kind of talked to me. About what you've been trying together and I- well, if you're okay with that of course- I'm, how to say, -intrigued." He smiled at you mischievously. Oh, you did not expect that. You and Dean have been having occasionally someone join in your bedroom but you didn't think he'd be interested to do this with his own brother. Well, they'd not be doing it together together, Dean definitely didn't swing that way, but still it surprised you. But you can't deny, you have been wondering about how the other Winchester would be in bed. Once you drunkenly mentioned it to Dean and you see now that he hadn't forgotten that. "Well, that's why the bottle is here you know. I kind of figured we'd all need some liquid courage. And cards for strip poker. But, Y/N, you know that whatever you say, goes. No questions asked." Dean guaranteed your say-so. "Let me just say that this wouldn't be the first time for us to share." He added sheepishly. Your eyes went wide."What? You haven't told me that." Sam stepped in. "It was years ago. It doesn't matter."

Your shaking hands moved to the bottle to pour yourself a shot of whiskey. "I- Are you-uhm .." You started rambling and downed the shot. You couldn't believe you were actually considering it.

"Can I just say, you two are not quiet when you fuck, you know? Of course I've been thinking of you, Y/N. Wanting to hear you scream my name." Sam said tantalizingly. You looked at Dean again, wide-eyed. "I told you that you can't keep quiet." He smiled. "Well, Sammy, if you're wondering right now, what she's thinking about, then I can assure you, she's interested."

"Thanks, Dean!" You elbowed him into the ribs. "What? You told me that yourself!" He defended himself. "Yeah! In confidence!" You huffed out.

Looking between the boys, something suddenly shifted between you three. With some newfound courage, you sat down and poured another shot, now for all three of you. "Both of you are into it?" You eyed them seductively, motioning them to sit down at the other side of the table in front of you. They nodded in sync. You couldn't even believe yourself. "Alright, then. Let's play some poker. Winner of the round chooses loser's piece of clothing to remove."

Four rounds in, all of you had lost your shirts and you also your pants. Boys definitely had an advantage. You had seen them both shirtless before, so you felt a little shy first time in front of Sam only in your underwear to be honest.

"Shots!" Both called out at the same time and bursted out laughing. You did two shots in a row. These last two definitely had more effect on you. "Hey, guys! Guys!" You called over their drunk bantering. Dean stopped shuffling the cards. "I think we can all tell who lost already, am I right?" You stood up, with a slight wobble in your legs you didn't know if it was from the alcohol or from the anticipation of what was coming next.

You walked over to their side. Both turned around in their chairs, looking up at you. "Dean, baby, do you maybe want to show your brother what he's joining into?" In one swift move, he was up from the chair, lifting you up to the table. You locked your legs around his hips, pulling him closer to your heat. He crashed his lips onto yours and his fingers slipped into your underwear, massaging your clit painfully slow. You could taste the whiskey on his lips and it was totally intoxicating you. You knew your first orgasm would arrive quickly. "You have no idea how fucking gorgeous you are. No idea." He panted between kisses. "Sammy, tell her. Isn't she beautiful?" He pushed two fingers into your waiting pussy and your mouth opened in silent scream when he started to move them, thumb still rubbing your clit. "Oh, she's definitely gorgeous." Sam said next to you, hand caressing your calf. You felt like you couldn't hold back any longer. "Fuck, Dean!" You squealed out as you were getting higher and higher. Suddenly he pulled his hand out of your panties and you felt empty. "No, no, no, no, no." He said laughing and pulled your hair to turn you more towards to Sam. "Tonight you won't get off this easily. I want you to show Sammy how perfect little slut you really are and go suck him off." He whispered into your ear and you felt you pussy clench at his words. "Yes, sir."

You jumped off the table and kneeled in front of Sam. "Didn't I tell you she's a good little slut for me, huh?" He got down next to you and his hand returned between your legs. Your trembling fingers tried to open Sam's belt. He wanted to help you but Dean interrupted. "No, Sam, she's a big girl, she can do it herself. Or if she can't, she knows the consequences." He pinched your clit and you yelped. His moves quickened and you had to shut your eyes. You finally managed to get Sam's pants opened and pulled down his boxers. His cock jumped free like from a cage. He was glorious. He had a bit longer, leaner dick than Dean. You hoped for sure that at the end of the he'd be pounding balls deep into you. For now you wanted to get him aquainted with your mouth. You slowly licked him from the base up to the tip, where a bead of precum caught your lips and you moaned at the salty taste, lowering yourself down on him completely. You looked up at Sam to see his eyes closing. His lean fingers instinctively snaked into your hair to move your head in his rhythm. Dean stood up to admire you from the side. "Oh, baby, you are really hungry for some Winchester's cock, arent you?" When you didn't first answer him, his hand came down to you ass with a moderate slap.

"Answer me, Y/N. Do you need some more cock in you?" He slowly started to pull down your panties. You tried your best to answer, but almost choking on his brother's dick really made it hard. You mumbled and tried to nod your head. He came behind you and removed your underwear completely, freeing your tits from the bra too. You could feel your slick almost dripping down your legs. "Fuck, you really are ready for me." He said quietly as he rubbed his cock between your folds before pushing it completely in. He filled you up completely, perfectly. He started to thrust hard and deep into you so your eyes rolled back and you couldn't hold back moans, which only made Sam pull your hair tighter. This feeling of pleasure, that now totally overcame you, wasn't comparable with the other times you had two cocks filling you up. This felt special. You didn't want to lose this. You started to suck Sam's cock harder to get him over the edge. Which came quite quickly after that. His cum spurted onto your tongue and his grip in your hair got loose again. You swallowed it all and were now panting hard, when Dean roughly pounded into you. One of his hands took it's place in your hair and he pulled you up, back against his chest while the other snaked around your hips to your clit again. "Oh, sweetie, I don't think I can hold on longer. You want to cum together with me, all over my cock while I fill you up? Hmm?" He asked, out of breath. No complete words escaped you but you tried to mumble in agreement. "Dean, please, uh, fuck..." you couldn't finish your sentence as his fingers started to rub you faster. You felt yourself becoming undone in front of him. With few last fast pumps he sank deep into, filling you up, as you incoherently screamed whatever you could think of in that moment. He held you still close when you calmed down.

When he let you go, you slowly slid down onto the floor like a puddle. "Give her a minute and she'll be ready for round two. You'll see, Sammy. She's insatiable." You heard Dean laughing. You slowly got up from the floor. "Guys, this is like the best birthday gift ever! This should become our birthday tradition, so all of us would have something to wait for." Sam and Dean looked at each other, grinning ear to ear in silent agreement. "Alright, I need food, before I could continue." You said determinedly, walking towards the kitchen, not bothering covering yourself up.

Tags💕 : @jackles010378 @cevansbaby-dove @deanwinchestersgirl87 @alternativeprincess94

[queerstudiesnatural]

i find it so interesting to look at sam and dean's respective views of society and people vs monsters, especially in early seasons, and then how that shifts and evolves throughout the show. like when we first meet them dean is very anti establishment whereas sam is literally studying law at an ivy league college. dean is very vocally anti police, and you're like wow for someone who was raised by an authoritarian father and is trying his hardest to please him this guy sure hates authority. he is aware of and cares about issues like racism and classism. but then when it comes to anyone non human he pretty much has no grey area, he sees them all as monsters to be put down. they are Things and they all killed his mum. whereas sam is pretty neutral about people, he doesn't even seem to be aware of systemic inequalities, he has a more individualistic approach to society. but this means he also sees monsters as individuals, just as capable of being good or redeemed.

This has everything to do with the way they grew up and the challenges they faced that affected them the most. dean's biggest challenge was putting food on the table. dean grew up poor and hungry. he was arrested for stealing, he had to use his body to get by, and he had to starve to try and feed sammy. and sam also grew up poor, but he was somewhat shielded from the reality of it. he wasn't the one who had to get food and pay for the extra week in a motel john left them in. his issues were much more personal. because sam knew he was a freak by all standards, he felt impure, and he knew in his heart that the monsters they hunted weren't too different from him. so his hope was in believing that anyone could be saved. anyone could choose to be good. where dean saw a system, with people in power and people who suffered because of them, sam saw grey individuals, and he was drawn in particular to the ones that had something "wrong" with them (max, madison, the kid from bugs, etc)

dean grew up so isolated that he couldn't be individualistic. he could only look at people from afar and that's why he sees the systems. and the violence he faced wasn't targeted at him personally, it was targeted at people like him. poor people, drifters, queer (or queer-looking) people. sam grew up trying to make connections. he made friends, he wanted an education. he tried so hard to belong.

and it's interesting to me that dean ended up being the one who formed the most personal bonds with people who were different, or ostracised, or monsters. see crowley, benny, charlie, claire.

sam tried to build communities (see his s14 arc) but every time he tried to get close to someone it ended in disaster so he ended up keeping his distance. and building a system. throughout the show he takes on leadership roles, and as time progresses he keeps his relationships more and more goal-oriented. whereas dean ends up forming personal bonds with a lot of people, and focusing less on helping oppressed people in general, and more on saving the individuals he cares about. i'm not saying they switched roles, they both kept their original views of the world, but they shifted towards a more confused and confusing moral compass that pointed somewhere in the middle and made it harder for them to understand each other. and ain't that just what growing up is like. dean cared about the whole world as a teen and young adult, but then that became too much to bear, and he had to focus his energy on his circle of loved ones. still caring about the world, but he had individual connections now and had to prioritise them. and sam still saw the potential for redemption and goodness in everyone, but he grew weary of people too, afraid of them or afraid of losing them, and he built walls. tried to help by giving himself missions rather than getting personally and emotionally involved.

psychologically speaking this show is so rich, the characters don't feel one dimensional (despite some of the writers' best efforts), and following their journey for 15 years means we saw them change and evolve, they don't remain the same people they were in season 1, but they keep some of that, and they just grow organically. sometimes i just love spn

[kaywinchester]

Charms

summary: through the years — the Winchester’s little sister’s good luck charm, ends up being a bit of a tradition.

Word Count: 4,214

Winchester boys x sister!reader

Warnings: blood, death, angst, sorry about the italics, idk what I'm doing??

The youngest Winchester, y/n, was welcomed into the family a little bit later than expected. Y/n was 3 when her mom died, and had no one else to go to but her father and two brothers. It was a few years after John had died too, when Dean got a call from one of John’s old phones in the glove compartment. And there she’s was on the other line.

It had been a few months after y/n had been living with the boys. It was tricky for everyone to adjust. Sam and Dean would do anything for her at the drop of a hat, but they all found it difficult to connect at first. Y/n was struggling to feel like a part of the family. She had lost the only adults she knew about in her short life, her trust had been taken away from everything it felt like. Sam and Dean had treated her nothing but kind since the day they found her, and deep down she knew they wouldn’t hurt her, but time would tell.

It was late at night, Dean couldn’t sleep. Going to reach for his headphones, they weren’t in the side table drawer where he normally puts them. He arose, flipping on the desk lamp across the room, starting to look for them quietly, when he came across a box. The box where he always kept special things he couldn’t lose. Photographs of him and Sammy as kids, their mother, different trinkets that held a memory. Dean flipped through a few photos, admiring them sadly under the light of his lamp. Looking down into the box he saw a glaring piece of silver at the bottom. Picking it up, he gazed at the charm bracelet that belonged to his mother. The charms shined in the light as they swayed side to side.

Sam approached the desk in the motel, about to speak as he sees him, but stops. “Hey, uhh. You busy?” He asked stepping closer.

“No, just couldn’t really sleep” Dean says as he packs the things back in the box.

“What’s this, is this mom’s?” Sam asked, sliding the bracelet over to his grasp.

“Yup.”

~

It was y/n’s 10th birthday and it had been a rough year. Another new school, y/n wasn’t staying with Bobby as much anymore since she was older and could stand the long car rides with Sam & Dean. Girls were starting to be mean at school, y/n felt alone most of the time, because she was left alone. In school, and back at the motels they stayed at. The boys felt for her, being so young, constantly exposed to the childhood they had. They didn’t expect that they would ever being doing what they were doing, but they wouldn’t give up on trying to give their little sister the life she needed.

The brothers made it home from finishing up a hunt just in time for y/n’s birthday. They had brought home her favorite food, and desserts. It wasn’t much, but they wanted to show her some appreciation for all of her patience. After finishing up dinner, Sam started to clean up the table. “Alright, looks like it is almost your bedtime.”

“Really? Even on my birthday?” Y/n playfully pouted.

“Your beauty sleep is more important!” Sam smiled back. “Especially being a weeknight. But we will pick up the festivities this weekend, because we’re leaving town!” Sam blurted out without thinking about how that sounded.

Dean looked at him and back at y/n, knowing her reaction wouldn’t be excited. Sam realized he had messed up by saying it so soon, they had meant to break it to her the next day, after her birthday.

“You mean, I have to leave this school, and go to another one?!” She sighed in disappointment.

“Well, yeah. But… we can go wherever you’d like to, on the way to—“

“No, you both said we’d be here for a while.”

“Y/n—“

“Just stop!" The room fell silent. "I know this is what you guys do, but I hate having to move again and again."

"Look, I know you do. It isn't fun for us either, but that's how we.."

"Get our job done, I know Sam." y/n finished his sentence, looking down at her hands.

"What's wrong, y/n/n?" Sam asked, studying her face.

"I just told you." her voice got more quiet. "You sure? You just... look like somethings on your mind." Sam stated. There was a long pause, y/n shuffled around and then looked up at her brothers. They both had that look on their face like they were waiting for her to let out whatever she was thinking.

"How do you guys always know!!?" She threw her arms down in frustration. Trying to stay mad but also wanting to break down from all of the inner turmoil. The boys both half smiled, Sam sat down in one of the kitchen chairs, motioning for y/n to sit down.

"It just gets scary sometimes..... not knowing when you're gonna come back. Boring too. I just don't want you to forget about me." y/n let out a deep breath.

"Sweetheart, you know we'd never forget about you. We look forward to coming back to you after every job." Sam reassured. Y/n let out a half smile, hearing the same line before. "I know."

It was times like these where Dean would always think of his mother. Even though y/n wasn't his mothers daughter, he knew if she were still around, she'd know exactly what to say in moments like these. The two boys were almost left with a loss of words until Dean thought of the perfect thing. He stood up and went outside to the car, rummaging through the trunk. He came back inside with a box in his hands. Going through it, he picked up Mary's bracelet and sat down next to y/n.

"This was... our mom's. I think she would have wanted you to have it." Dean hooked the charm bracelet around y/n's wrist. It felt a little odd to her, knowing Mary was not her real mom.

"Are you sure? I mean, she..." y/n tried not to come off sounding rude, but Dean knew what she was trying to say.

"I know, but trust me. We hung onto it for a reason. All of these charms mean something special, and as long as you have this with you... you will always be protected. And you will always, be apart of this family." Dean held her wrist, emphasizing it's importance. Y/n rotated her wrist, admiring all of the charms.

She smiled bigger, looking up at them. "Thank you."

Dean said nothing, instead bringing his sister in for a hug. Sam raised his eyebrows, blinking away his watery eyes from the moment he just witnessed. Running his hands over his face, he sat down, and embrace his siblings into one.

~

It was y/n's first official hunt. She had just turned 14, and had proven to her brothers that she could take care of herself... as long as she stayed right by their sides. Y/n had been studying, not just in school. Every chance she got, she was prying information from Sam or Dean about hunting. Practicing how to use different forms of defense, and being on the look out for anything. She now had finally gotten herself into the real deal.

The three of them walked through an abandoned farm property, looking for any hidden rooms, since the rest of the house was suspiciously clear. "We should go check the barn out back." Y/n whispered. "Okay, but for now, you stay here." Dean whispered back.

"Why? there's nothing here. We've looked everywhere and there is no nest." y/n stated.

"Well, that's what they want you to think, but it wasn't at the last house so it's gotta be here."

"Shhh!" Sam spat. Hearing a crash from somewhere in the house.

Everyone froze, being as still and quiet as they could, trying to listen for any noises. It was silent, until a floorboard creaked from behind Dean. He jumped around, but before he could strike, everyone was knocked unconscious. None of them got a chance to see what hit them as it was too dark.

Y/n woke up in a cold and dark room. The floor was cement, and the walls were stone, it was likely a basement room. Shortly after coming to, she heard the ceiling above her creak and the walls too. Footsteps thudded on the floor outside of the room she was in, and she heard the ceiling creak once more. Y/n panicked, and resumed her position on the floor where she woke up, pretending to still be knocked out.

The door flung open, she squinted her eyes the most she could while trying to look asleep. A dark figure walked over to her, she could see another figure behind him, holding the door open. She was suddenly lifted off the floor, her body limp and hanging in the grip of whoever was holding her.

"Nope, still out. Let's give it another hour." A deep voice spoke. They let go of y/n's body, letting it thud back to the floor. The two figures left. Y/n sat up slowly, feeling the ache from being thrown onto cement. 'A ladder?' She thought, seeing one against the wall outside the door. One set of footsteps walked away, another set sounded like they were climbing the ladder, as the wall creaked again.

Y/n listened closely to the creaks and heard the ceiling again, 'a trapdoor!' It had to be. It sounded like it was just above the door to the room she was in. After listening for a while, it grew quiet again. Y/n got up and tried opening the door, no luck. It was locked. Y/n knew she had to alert her brothers somehow, wherever they were. For all she knew, they could be in another locked room themselves.

Sam and Dean both woke up in the barn that was behind the house. Dean sat up abruptly in the hay, looking around for y/n once he spotted Sam. "Y/N!!"

"She's gotta be somewhere in that house. C'mon!" Sam hurried.

The two men walked through out the house again, pacing every room back and forth, looking for anything they could have missed. "Dude, I can't find any levers, or buttons... no hidden doors. Fuckin squat!" Dean was starting to get worried and pissed, not knowing how long they were out and how long y/n had been separated.

Sam, stepped on something uneven. Raising his foot, he looked at the dark floor and saw a bit of silver shining in the moonlight. He picked up the object, which happened to be y/n's charm bracelet.

Dean looked at Sam holding up the charms, stunned to say the least. "That ain't good, we need to find her, quick." Dean started, rushing past Sam, ready to look wherever he had to.

"Wait! Dean look...." Sam kneeled down, taking in the details of the floor they had completely missed. They had been walking all over it this whole time. "Dean, it's a trap door!"

They both kneeled down and found a flat switched embedded in one of the floorboards. Sam pressed the switch, a square in the floor creaked open, revealing a hidden basement. "Let's go."

Sam and Dean came across a long hallway, that went in two directions. Both sides of the walls had doors to other rooms. "She's gotta be down here." Sam whispered.

"That probably means the nest is also down here." Dean huffed with worry.

The two split up to start checking the rooms. Dean started with the door next to the ladder that led them down there. He busted it open to find y/n sitting on the floor. "Y/N! Thank god, are you okay?" Dean sighed in relief.

"I'm fine.... did you find my clue?" she asked hopefully.

"Your clue??"

"Yeah, I slid my charm bracelet through the floor."

"You did that? How... what..... I'd love to hear how you came up with that later, because I think you led us right to the vamp nest." Dean smiled proudly.

~

It had been 5 long days since y/n went missing. Of course, Sam and Dean hadn't stopped for anything until they found her. They had not slept, barely ate, there was no breaks, no stopping. They had grown tired after searching almost every lead they had.

The two sat at the table in their motel room in silence, too irritated and exhausted to say anything unless it was important. "I'll be back." Dean stood up, grabbing his jacket.

"Where ya going?" Sam asked.

"To look for y/n".

Sam sighed. Dean always blamed himself if Sam or y/n were in trouble. No matter the situation.

Dean pulled up to the school where the first kid went missing. Putting the car in park, he got out and walked around the campus, trying his best not to look suspicious. School was still in session despite the mysterious disappearances, which made it hard to investigate. Y/n was a big help in the case, being able to blend in as a student, until she went missing too. Sam and Dean had checked all the surrounding places that had a connection, yet, nothing.

Dean circled the courtyard, eyeing the buildings, trying to think of literally anything, when he remembered... The old building behind the school. The one that wasn't in use anymore, they were planning to knock it down soon. It made so much sense now, they were hiding in plain sight. He picked up his phone to dial Sam, letting him know to meet him over there as he picked up the pace on his way over to the building.

Dean scanned the area around him, making sure no one was looking before approaching the front steps. The front doors were boarded shut, he tried to make them give but had no luck. He circled the building to the back door when he noticed a shine catching his eye.

Y/n's charm bracelet sat in the dirt and gravel near the back door. He picked it up with care, and put it in his pocket. Dean was able to get in the building, it was full of mold and broken down old school supplies. He walked down endless hallways, looking through every door until he found y/n. Handcuffed to an old radiator on the ground. Rushing over, he shook her gently, trying to wake her up.

"Dean!" Sam called out from a distance. He stood up and poked his head around the hallway. "Hey! Did you find her?" Sam asked frantically.

"Yeah, I got her. Help me find some of the other kids." He said as he rushed back to y/n. Her head and arms had dried up blood all over them, and looked as if she was dragged through dirt.

"Y/n, c'mon sweetheart, wake up." she slowly nodded, with fluttering eyes, becoming more alert once she saw Dean.

"oh my god, Dean!" She spoke softly, reaching out for him but was stopped by the cuffs. "One sec, I got it." He assured.

Once she was free, she gently wrapped her arms around him. "You found me.... I was worried you wouldn't." Her eyes welled with tears.

Dean held her shoulders and reached into his pocket. "Baby, I will always find you." He said as he hooked her bracelet back onto her wrist. She sniffled a heartwarming smile back at him.

~

Sam and Dean stood in front of y/n, and also y/n. The 3 of them were hunting a shifter, and it had taken y/n's form. Now it was down to which y/n was the real y/n.

"Guys. c'mon it's me! Trust me." y/n whined.

"Stop! No, I'm me. I know it's hard to tell right now but it's really me!" y/n also whined.

"Here...." y/n slowly kneeled down and placed her gun on the ground. The other y/n still clutched her gun tightly. A determined look set in her eyes.

"I wouldn't hurt you guys. You know that." she stood up slowly without the weapon.

Sam and Dean gazed between the two versions of their sister. "I'm not sure you can keep that promise." Sam spat. Y/n lunged at Sam as he pulled the trigger. She fell to the ground, all 3 of them stood frozen for a second before seeing the body start to melt. They all let out a heavy breath.

"Thank you, for not shooting me." y/n snickered, lowering her gun. "How'd you know?"

Sam reached for her wrist. "Guess it wasn't able to replicate your good luck charm." He smiled at the charms on her bracelet.

~

It happened so fast. None of them saw the last one that hid behind the corner. A shot rang out, the bullet snuck past Sam who held his gun up. He fired his weapon, taking out the last guy. He let out a greedy breath, looking over at Dean who gave him the same relieved look.

"Nice one, brother." He patted his shoulder. "You too y/n." Dean and Sam looked behind them, only to jump when they saw y/n clutching her stomach hunched over.

"Y/n!? You okay? Lemme see...... umm, okay c'mon. We gotta go." Dean said frantically after seeing all the blood soaking through her shirt. He lifted her up, carrying her to the car and placing her in the backseat.

"Hang on, y/n." Dean kept calling out from the drivers seat, while Sam reached back, holding onto what ever grip she had on him.

"Sammy..... I can't...." Y/n sounded breathy. Holding her palm over her wound.

"Yes you can, just hold on a little longer for me, okay?" Sam hoped his words would help motivate his sister to find strength. They couldn't lose her, not like this.

Dean peeled into the emergency room lot, barely parking the car. The two men jumped out of the car, rushing to the backseat. When they opened the door, y/n was slumped over on her side, unresponsive.

"Y/n, c'mon wake up, look at me." Dean patted her face, holding her in his arms. Nothing.

As they carried her through the doors, it felt like a blank blur of people bombarding them, saying words. Dean froze as Sam called out for help, telling the nurses what happened. Then he felt people tugging y/n away from him. As they started to wheel her back, Dean grasped her hand.

"Sir, please let go, we need to get her medical attention."

Normally, he would've fought to stay with her, but he froze again. Letting go of her hand which then flopped to the side of her.

Sam and Dean waited an excruciatingly long 3 hours before someone came asking for them. A doctor came out and ushered them through the doors.

"Is she okay? What's the deal?" Dean asked impatiently. All the doctor said was 'come with me' so they assumed he was taking them to her. He remained quiet and led them down the hall, motioning them to step into a room. Once they both saw it was an office, they expected the worst.

"Please, have a seat."

"Doc, not trying to be rude, but I've been sitting for 3 hours. I'd rather not wait any longer. How's our sister?" Dean said straight to the point.

The doctor took a deep breath, folding his hands. "Y/n suffered some really bad hemorrhaging from the bullet wound. Once we removed the bullet, we couldn't stop the bleeding...... she stopped breathing a little while before that."

"I'm sorry, but she didn't make it."

Neither of the boys took it well, especially Dean. He refused to believe anything after that, he kept saying 'no' to everything the doctor said.

"Um... is there any way we could still see her? y'know, say our goodbyes." Sam hesitantly glanced at Dean.

"Yes, of course. Give us some time to prepare her. In the meantime, I would start discussing arrangements for-"

As soon as Dean heard that, he turned around and walked out.

Sam stayed and waited until he was able to see y/n. The nurse left to give him his privacy. As soon as he saw her, he broke. Slowly walking over to the bed with tears blurring his vision, he kneeled down and picked up her frail hand. He cringed at the fact that it was still warm, but that warmth was fading. Sam eyed her charm bracelet that was still on. He pinched the charms between his fingers, rotating it around.

"I'm sorry..... I'm sorry we couldn't...." Sam trailed off. Wiping away his tears, he looked at his sister for a while. Taking in her features, trying to permanently memorize what she looked like when she smiled, laughed, looked at her brothers with her big y/e/c eyes.

"I love you."

~

Dean had stormed out of the hospital. He felt like raging against all evil that had ever existed, so upset he could flip a car. He had always imagined he'd go like this, but not his little sister. Only 20 years old, and it was all taken away from her, from him, from them. Dean didn't know what to do or where to go, so much was going through his mind. He opened baby's driver door and sat inside, letting the silence consume the vehicle for a few moments before speaking up.

"Cas..... we could really use you right now."

.....

"Y/n is dead. And... she shouldn't be. I know it's a lot to ask, but this is y/n we're talking about."

.....

"Cas...?" Dean sat a while longer, waiting, waiting for Cas, or a sign. Anything.

"Please, Cas. I'll do whatever I have to, I'll sell my soul, I'll make a trade. I don't know, anything."

Still, nothing. No response. Nothing.

Sam walked outside to the car since Dean wasn't answering the phone. He saw him sitting in the car and slowly opened the passenger door, getting in next to him.

Neither of them said anything at first.

"Uh, she's in there, whenever you're ready." Sam tried to hide his sniffles. Dean stayed quiet.

"This isn't the end." He finally spoke up.

"What?"

"She's not dead for good."

"Dean, we can't make another deal like that, if that's what you're thinking. It just leads us into more problems."

"Sam, this is y/n! I don't give shit what I have to do."

Sam stopped there, he knew it wasn't a good time to reason with Dean. He needed to give it time.

"Here." Sam held out his hand. He placed the object in Dean's hand. Dean opened his palm, now holding y/n's charm bracelet.

"What are you doing?!" Dean raised his tone, agitated.

"What do you mean? I-"

"Why did you take this off of her!?" Dean growled.

Before Sam could say anything else, Dean opened the door and stormed back into the hospital. Sam followed, delaying himself a little bit to give Dean some space. He was hoping this would give him some time for closure.

Dean's anger led him into y/n's room a little fast. He slowed his vigorous pace when he saw her. He slowly approach the bedside and sat next to her, gently hooking the charms around her wrist once more. A tear escaped his waterline when he looked up at her, not receiving the smile she always gave him. He squeezed her hand in his, lowering his head with the gesture. Dean sat there for a while in thought, when her hand started to feel different. Almost as if it was less limp. He squeezed it some more subconsciously, but this time felt her hand clench underneath his. He shot up, looking at y/n confused.

"y/n?" Her chest rose up and fell heavily as her body took a breath. "Y/n!?"

Sam overheard and peeked in. "Dean, wha-."

"Get the doctor, now!" He flipped his head around. Sam nodded and ran out confused.

Y/n's chest was now rising and falling in a rhythm, Dean kept saying her name and sweet things. Then her eyes slowly opened.

"y/n!" Dean let out an overjoyed cry. "Oh! sweetheart...."

"help... owh." y/n managed to wheeze out, trying to catch her breath.

"Dean.." she caught a gaze of him. He smiled and fixed her stray hairs on her forehead. "It hurts t-t much." she breathed out, then doctors flooded into the room with Sam close behind.

"Y/n!!?" Sam breathed out as he caught sight of her.... alive.

The doctors started giving her oxygen, medicine and checked her vitals. Dean backed up to give them space to work. "Dean! no.." y/n mumbled.

"It's okay, I'm right here! I'm not going anywhere."

Sam pulled him aside. "Dean! What did you do?"

"Nothing! I swear! She... she was gone when I came in, and then..."

"Cas."

"So, Cas did this?"

Dean nodded, looking back at y/n.

All the commotion died down, y/n was stable. The doctors were confused as hell, but ruled it out as a medical miracle, and were pleased to inform Sam and Dean that she'd be alright.

"So, who do I thank?" y/n asked.

"Cas." Dean smiled.

"Glad to have you back, kid." Sam grinned.

"Me too.... gotta love my good luck charm!" she smiled, jingling her bracelet around.

[unholytemple]

thinking about late s1 samdean when they reunite with john. (tw child abuse and violence)

it’s funny how easily they fall into the same routines. they’re back hunting together again, dean plays the part of john’s well trained lap dog, and sam is once again the outlet for john’s anger.

sam’s still just as bitchy and argumentative as he was when he was a kid, and maybe it’s the disrespect or maybe it’s the fact that he has his mother’s eyes, but john can’t stand it.

john starts hitting sam again like he did when he was a kid. dean doesn’t notice at first, but when sam has an inexplicable black eye, he finds out. and he’s pissed. dean tells sam to wait in the car while he chews out their father for hitting sam. john gets a separate motel room that night.

later, sam asks dean why now, after all this time, he decides to stand up to their father.

“you’re a grown man, sammy. dad shouldn’t be hittin’ you anymore”

sam still doesn’t understand why dean would talk back to their father over something so insignificant. not until he catches dean staring at the blue bruise on sam’s face.

sam moves from his bed to join dean on his. sam’s got that faux-innocent little brother act going and he knows dean will melt for it.

“you don’t want dad to hurt me.” dean nods, confused. “you don’t want dad to hurt me because you’re the only one who gets to do that”

sam’s close to dean. far too close, and he’s getting closer. he wants dean to see every broken blood vessel in his bruise. he wants him to see the scrape from dad’s wedding ring.

“sam-”

“you raised me. it’s your right to put your hands on me. not dad’s.”

weather dean realized this was why he was angry at john for hitting sam or not, sam was right. only dean gets to hurt sammy. not some deadbeat old man who they had to chase across the country just to get his attention.

“why don’t you show daddy who i really belong to?”

dean tried, really, but john didn’t care. he looked at sam’s mauled face with disgust.

“you’re a grown man, sam. you’re too old to be picking fights with your brother.”

now all sam has is a broken nose, split lip, a yellowing bruise over his eye, and more daddy issues than a lifetime of therapy could fix. good thing he has his big brother to take care of him

[supercriminalbean]

Fight Club. Part three.

Aaron Hotchner x Male!reader.

Summary: The team tries thier hardest to find you, while Aaron thinks back to the way things use to be between you and him.

Warning: Dark fic. Blood, fighting, death, abuse, kidnapping, swearing, drugs, unsub violence, angst, murder, criminal minds unsub violenceness. This whole fic series is just dark and strange the ask it self is amazing and may help you know if this is something you can handle. (Any other warnings let me know xx)

Words: 4.6k

A/n: This went in a different direction as I thought this chapter would. Somehow this is becoming longer than I first thought it would. Another part will be released next week thank you all for your love xx

Part one. Part two. Part four.

Tagging thoes that seem interesed or asked: @xweirdo101x @alecmores @yn-addams @winter-world @xdark-acadamiax @rexspersonalhell @hunterispunk @sammy-4103 @222244445555 @spiritzofthedead @sweetnothingsvulnerability

The day goes by fast for the Bau, the day doesn’t have enough hours before the sun is setting again. They checked out a place today hoping you would be there but instead they found nothing, not even a sign that anyone used to be there. Garcia also isn’t getting anywhere tracking their Ip address, and they haven’t gone live since this morning. Currently the team is sitting around the table eating or more like picking at their dinner as they throw out more ideas. 

“We got his face on camera, Garcia has it circulating through all facial recognitional searches” Morgan adds, sighs as he stabs his noodles. 

“She won’t find anything, he’s been doing this for years there will be no recognition of him for the past twenty years” Rossi huffs quietly staring at the photo of the unsub on the board. 

“Maybe not, but she can put him through her system and make him appear younger then maybe she will get a hit” JJ suggests staring at the wall, her body feeling numb.

“Good idea, when she lands get her straight onto that” Hotch instructs looking over at Morgan.

“Will do” Morgan nods at him.

“When does she land?” Emily asks, glancing over at Morgan who automatically checks his watch.

“In twenty minutes, I should get going. I promise her I’ll be waiting by the gate when she lands” He smiles weakly standing up. No one argues, everyone knows those two come in a package. 

“Hey can I come for a ride, I could use the fresh air” JJ looks up at him, feeling exhausted.

“Sure blondie lets go” Morgan smiles a little as they walk out.

~~~

The night goes by with Reid, Rossi and Hotch narrowing down their comfort zone, while Garica and Morgan go through making the unsub appear younger and running him through everything. JJ and Emily, run through their notes of the interview of some of the victims families they talked to today, coming to some conclusions that they wish they never had to. Once it gets too late and the room is filled with nothing but yawns, Hotch finally sends them home, his heart racing at the thought you have been gone for 36 hours. Everyone leaves silently hating the idea of going back to the hotel while you're missing. Once Aaron is alone in his hotel room he sits at the small desk in the corner of the room, pulling out his notebook and a file as he gets back to work, doing his best to distract his mind from the hopelessness look in your eye. You don’t think they are coming for you, no, you don’t think he is coming for you. He is, and he won’t rest until he has you back where you belong. His mind runs back to the night, the night he regrets letting you go. The night he confessed to you, that he enjoyed having you in his life more than a boss should. That he doesn’t normally allow an agent to get this close to him or his kid, and he definitely doesn’t allow his agents to cuddle up to him on his couch watching movies, or kiss him that one night. He also doesn’t allow an agent to push him on cases like you do, he doesn’t allow an agent to bring a case to him like this and get away with using his FBI statutes to get information he’s not entitled to. He doesn’t allow it, so how the hell did he allow himself to let you worm yourself into his heart, and why the hell did he let you leave that night. Aaron doesn’t realise there are tears sliding down his face, hitting his notes until there's a sharp knock on the door. Quickly he pulls himself together, wiping his face as he takes a deep breath steadying his heartbeat as he looks through the peephole. Of course it's Dave he groans to himself, wondering if he could just go to bed and pretend he’s asleep to make him go away.

“Open up Aaron I know you're there” Dave smirks, staring at the door with a knowing look. Ever so slowly Aaron opens the door, his face hard, showing no emotion.

“What's up Dave?” Aaron sighs lightly, acting tired blocking the doorway.

“Don’t what's up me” Dave rolls his eyes as he pushes past him, walking straight in.

“Oh sure come on in” Aaron says sarcastically as he closes the door, he somehow allows his guard down around Dave. Dave moves to the middle of the room then turns around, staring at Aaron, his body stiffens under Dave gaze, crosses his arms in defence. 

“What do you want Dave?” 

“You want to tell me what's going on with you?” Dave stares at him, his eyes staring a hole into his soul. 

“What do you mean, my agent is missing? I'm sorry if I’m a little on edge” Aaron snaps at him, the tears threatening to come back.

“Today you keep referring to him as your agent, you keep refusing to say his name” Dave sighs, noticing the tension threatening to break on Aaron's face.

“Dave” His name is barely above a whisper, it's a warning. “Get out”

“Not until you open up and tell me what's happened between you two” Dave pushes, taking a step forward as he spots a tear escaping down Aaron cheek as he looks away.

“Aaron its me, talk to me”

“I can’t lose him Dave, not after Haley” His voice breaks as he speaks, sitting down on the bed.

~~~

“I invited him to a soccer game of Jack one day” Aaron breaks the silence, his eyes focused on the wall opposite him. Dave is sitting at the desk, watching him quietly, he wishes he could hear this under better circumstances.

“I didn’t think he would come, you know how closed off he is. He had a rough case and I wanted to make sure he was okay during the weekend” Hotch takes a deep breath as he thinks back. 

You didn’t want to get out of bed this morning, but you promised Hotch you would go to his son's soccer game with him. Apparently because you have been on the team for over a year and a half now and you still haven’t met his son yet which is a call for concern, apparently. Slowly you dragged yourself out of bed and got ready for the day, driving to the soccer field and stopping for some coffee and um a hot chocolate, because kids like hot chocolate right? You double asked yourself as you drove to the field, earlier than Hotch had told you the game was but he said he would be there early for warm up seeing as he is the couch. You pull up into the car parks, noticing a spare park beside a familiar car so you quickly park before getting out, and making your way through the field finding your boss setting down a bag and some bottles and a kid who seems to be a mini version of him holding a ball laughing beside him. 

“Morning” You call out to them, your eyes focused on Hotch as he turns around with a smile growing on his face.

“You're earlier” He points out, walking over to you.

“I know” You smirk softly. “But I brought coffee, and a hot chocolate for the little child” 

“Thanks,” Hotch smiles. “Jack, this is (Y/n) my coworker”

“Hi,” Jack mumbles, looking down.

“Hey kid” You smile awkwardly, before picking up the coffee and offering it to Hotch.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to” He smiles warmly as he reaches for it, his smile fades as you jump slightly at his movements. 

“Oh it's no problem” You focus your smile to stay put. “Sorry” You quickly apologise, gulping quickly as you turn to Jack as you hand him his drink. “This is for you Jack”

“Woah, it's huge!” Jack exclaims, taking it. “Dad only ever gets me the small one, thank you”

You can’t help but laugh softly. “It's because I’m better than him” You tease.

“That's because I have to deal with the sugar rush later,” Aaron groans, smirking at you.

“They get sugar rush?” You look at him confused, your eyebrows pinching together looking cute according to Aaron.

“They do, you don’t know anything about kids do you” Aaron teases you, laughing as he sees his son struggle to hold the cup without dropping it.

“Oh nothing, I don’t like kids” You shrug, as you watch Jack not realising Aaron is currently staring at you with his eyes full of hope.

After the soccer game, you three went out for ice cream, the day was full of laughter and joy as you got to know the Hotchner boys. The next few weekends the same thing happened, you went to the game, then an afternoon activity with the two sweetest boys. About six months pass by, when an incident with Jack processes to push you and Aaron closer. 

You are currently watching Jack's first game of summer soccer, cheering for him from the side lines, a huge smile takes over your face as you watch him. The pride grows in your chest as he scores another goal, glancing over at Aaron by the side lines, the proud dad looks on his face as he claps loudly with the clipboard. The game is close, the team only needs one more goal and the game is theirs. The game goes by quickly with both teams playing well for kids, your heart is pounding when you see Jack got the ball lined up for the goal and the referee is about to call the game, but then he kicks and he gets in just as the game comes to an end. The team all screams and cheers with excitement, running towards their parents to celebrate, except Jack. He’s sprinting towards screaming that he’s won, before he’s jumping at you, wrapping his arms around you. You freeze, your smile falters as he touches you, but then you look down at the small boy in your arms and you smile before wrapping your arms around him, the tension in your chest breaking apart.

“You did amazing kiddo” You smile widely as you hear heavy footsteps approaches, pulling away from Jack as you glance up to meet his father's gaze, a worried look on his face quickly fades to a relieved, happy look.

“They played great” You smile at him, but your smile doesn’t reach your eyes as Jack pulls away, causing Aaron to worry internally.

“They did, you did so great buddy” Aaron looks down at his son, with loving eyes as he ruffles his hair. 

Later that night, you three have had a movie night and now Jack is asleep in his bed as you and Aaron watch a less kid friendly movie, while chatting away. 

“I’m sorry if Jack made you uncomfortable earlier” Aaron glances at you as the conversation from before dies away, your eyes stay glued on the tv.

“Um when?” You gulp, you know what he’s talking about, but you don’t want to talk about it.

“When he hugged you (Y/n), I know you don’t like physical touch”

“It's fine, It happened and it didn’t suck” You shrug, ignoring the way your body tenses up.

“(Y/n), If you want me to tell him not to do it again I will” Aaron speaks softly, watching the upset and agitated look flash over your face as you glance at him.

“Don’t do that, I don’t mind hugging him. What, am I not allowed to hug people just because I’ve never hugged someone before!” You snap at him, anger and sadness welling up inside you.

“No, I didn’t mean that” Aaron smiles sadly at you, before reaching for your hand that lays on the couch in between you both. Your freeze, your eyes focusing on his hand closely but you don’t pull away. He slowly intertwined his fingers with yours, taking a deep you slide your thumb over his, a small smile pulling at your lips.

“You said you haven’t had a hug before?” Aaron keeps his voice light as he speaks, holding your hand softly as he looks up at you. 

“Not since I was young” You talk quietly, looking into his eyes as you speak. “I know I’m not normal Aaron but I’m trying I promise” Your voice almost sounds like you're begging when you speak, your voice wobbles as your eyes water just a little.

“I know you are, I see you and you are doing a great job” Aaron reassures you. Holding back the automatic urge to pull you into a hug and tell you that nothing can hurt you anymore and that you're doing a great job and just how far you have come. But he can’t do that, because you're not ready for the praise nor ready for the way he wants to hold you and even if you are he would break the thin line of professionalism he is trying to keep between you two.

“I am?” Your face lights up a little, a smile tugging at your lips. 

“You are, do you remember when you first joined the team?” Aaron smiles as he watches you, the way your eyes slide to the wall as you think back.

“Yeah.. You kept getting mad at me”

“Mad isn’t the right word, I was concerned for you. You barely slept and never ate, you drank more caffeine than Reid and that’s saying something” Aaron jokes lightly, causing you to chuckle softly.

“Okay, but I still do that most weeks”

“Still less than you used to do, and that's an improvement” Aaron squeezes your hand softly, which makes your smile grow just a little. “You also used violence a lot more when arresting an unsub, you don’t do that so much anymore you have more control over your temper” His words sink in slowly, your heart melting as your eyes meet his, allowing his sweet words to break your walls down. 

“That one is hard, anger and violence is all I knew growing up” Your words are barely above a whisper as you admit that, squeezing his hand a little. 

“That's okay, because you are still young and you are still learning” He smiles as his thumb brushes over your hand. “Also back then you would never let me hold your hand, or even hug my son”

“Maybe it's more because you two mean something to me rather than something else” You gulp as you admit your feelings.

“Well you are welcome here whenever you like” Aaron smiles as he looks at you, his eyes filled with love as he stares into your own. He feels himself falling for you, he knows it's wrong but right now Aaron doesn’t care, because he’s never seen anyone with such beautiful eyes before.

“Can.. Can you hug me.. I want to try it” You push the words out of your throat as the nerves start to get involved. Aaron smiles softly, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you down and into his chest. You take a deep breath, half laying down in his arms, closing your eyes as you focus on his heart beat, and the warmth his arm produces. 

~~~

“You two got really close?” Dave pulls Aaron back to the present.

“Six months Dave… That night brought us even closer but six months it stayed like that” Aaron voice breaks as a tear slides down his hands shaking. “And then he pulled away, something was going on but he refused to tell me what and after one night.. That night he.. He kissed me” Aaron takes a sharp breath as that memory invades his mind the way you cupped his face as you ask him sweetly before your lips are capturing his. 

“What happened?” Dave watched him concernedly, his eyes focused on Aaron's body language. 

“He fell asleep in my arms, and the next morning he was gone, I tried to talk to him at work and he told me that he had to refocus on work, he didn’t have time for friends, I let him go Dave, I knew something was wrong but I also knew that he’s not right, he doesn't understand relationships or love, now I know why” Aaron looks up at Dave, his heart breaking. 

“This isn’t your fault Aaron” Dave reaches out, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I know Dave but–” Before Aaron could finish there's an urgent knock on the door pulling the two mens attention away. As soon as the door opens Garcia and Morgan are walking in urgent looks plastered over their faces, both carrying their laptops.

“They are going live” Morgan breaks the silence, before glancing at Hotch who is quickly drying his face., jumping to his feet quickly. All four of them gather around the laptop where the loading screens disappear and your bloody face fills the screen making Aarons insides screaming.

~~~

You are left alone for hours after being tortured, they only stopped after you screamed out the name they branded you with. You pass out at one point, your body and mind begging for a break, and against the hardest you try you black out. A sharp pain flies across your face, bringing you back to the hell you're in. Blinking rapidly while your eyes adjust to the bright light shining down at you, your eyes finally adjust landing on the man in front of you.

“Ready for round two Jupiter?” He chuckles at you, his grin is one that will forever haunt your nightmares.

“Why don’t you untie me and I’ll show you just how ready I am” You glare up at him, anger and tiredness sitting in your chest. He grabs your chin pinching it hard between his thumb and pointer finger, his eyes icy cold as he stares into you.

“Oh that's the plan, we’re going old school” A sickening feeling fills your stomach as his grin grows.

“No, not again” You spit at him, fear filling you knowing that's their plan to break you.

“Bring him out” He yells out, letting your chin go as the door on the other side of the room swings open, your stomach drops. She walks in, followed by a younger boy who seems to be in his mid teens.

“He’s too young no” You shake your head vigorously, your heart pounding. He looks so strong, but you know you're stronger even in your current state you could beat him. 

“You killed people when you were younger than him” He laughs. “Hell you are our youngest killer after all”

“Shut up” You snarl at him, your eyes flickering towards the video camera.

“Just enjoy the fight, let yourself remember the joy you used to feel” He smirks as he grabs the camera and lights moving them out of the pool before he climbs out.

“Hey, aren’t you going to untie me then” You glare up at him, your eyes glace at the kid as he approaches, his eyes are dead but focused on you. To him you aren’t a person just a chore for the day, he just needs to get you over with so he can have dinner and go to sleep. 

“He will do it” He smirks at you, before the boy jumps into the pool.

“Julian, remember the rules” Ma’am calls to the boy, her eyes flickering to yours. Her’s are filled with excitement, she can’t wait to see the next show. 

“Yes Ma’am” He nods, before approaching you, untying you quickly before backing up to his corner. 

“When 

I say start you two better give everyone a good show my lovies” She sings out to you two before giggling sickly, holding the camera zooming in on you as you stand up your eyes trained on the boy. You won’t attack him, just keep him busy until he gives up.

“Three, two one, go” Her smirk darkness as the boy lunges at you.

~~~

He’s a lot stronger than you thought he was, after a few rounds of dodging and making him chase you around the pool, he’s managed to land a few strong punches on you. Eventually he gets you down, his fist colliding with your face too much for you to think straight and soon instinct takes over. Your legs wrap around his waist, flipping you both over as you manage to get a few hits on him, he stops moving as you put pressure over his throat. A soft laugh escapes you as he starts relaxing under you, his eyes soften as fear invades them as he struggles underneath you. 

“Please don’t” He coughs his words out, but they aren’t enough to stop you.

“That’s it Jupiter finish him” She cheers for you, your stomach drops as her voice sets in. Shaking your head as you eyes meet him, you quickly let his throat go as he stops struggling under you. 

“That's not my name” You growl glancing at her, before looking at the scared boy under you. “Take a deep breath kid, you're okay now” You speak softly, guilt eating at you. He nods quickly, taking deep breaths as you climb off him, holding out a hand for him, pulling him up to his feet. Sliding his arm over your shoulder as he uses you for support, you glare up at the two viewers.

“You can try as much as you like, you're not breaking me” You breathe heavily as you try to catch your breath. You are pretty sure your ribs are broken along with your nose, more blood drips down your face.

“Bullshit” He snarls out as he jumps into the pool with you, storming over.

“Can’t break me” You smirk at him just a little.

“You won that fight, and winners here only win one way” He glares murderously at you, before you have time to process anything he lunges at Julian. A sharp howl leaves the young boy's mouth, your eyes widen as he pulls away, blood dripping from the knife in his hand. 

“No!” You scream, your hand flies toward Julian side, where the stab wound is, pressing against the bleeding as you lay him down. 

“You won, deal with it” He laughs bitterly as they walk out, leaving you two alone. 

You hold the tears back as you press against the wound, looking into the young boy's frightened eyes.

“It's.. its going to be okay kid” You try to pull yourself together, as the boy stares up at you.

“It's okay” He coughs out weakly. “They can’t hurt me now” 

“That's right they can’t” You whimper, a tear sliding down as the light in his eyes start to fade. 

“My sister here, she's beside you” His words are barely above a whisper now, goosebumps make your arms tingle. 

“Go with her kiddo, be safe now” Tears slide down as his chest stops breathing and you can’t move. Eventually you pull your hands off him, and collapse onto your back sobs racking through your body. That should be you, no one is even looking for you, this is your fault.

~~~

The team sits in silence as the live ends, Garcia keyboard is the only sound that fills the room. Tears are sliding down almost everyone's face, guilt, fear and anger fills everyone. The rest of the team had come and joined the other four earlier on, everyone had to watch your fight in silence, their hearts breaking at your screaming. The way you fell to your knees trying to keep the boy alive, then it ended, and no one knows how to proceed. 

“Penelope, do you have a location?” It's Dave that breaks the silence, his eyes landing on her. Her body is shaking as she cries but she carries on typing on her laptop.

“No, but.. But I’ve got it narrowed down, and I tapped into their viewers, maybe we can’t get something off that” Her voice is shaky as she tries to push through it. 

“Baby girl” Derek gently takes her hand, worried about her shaking.

“I.. I’m sorry” She sobs, falling into Derek's chest who holds her closely, his own tears sliding down.

“Everyone take five minutes, then back to the precinct” Aaron orders, his eyes still focused on the screen, his heart falling apart. In a quick minute JJ and Reid are running out of the room, needing time to themselves. 

Everyone knew the timeline had been cut shorter, if they make you fight again, Aaron knows you will give yourself up, he can’t let you do that.

[gretavanlace]

Poppins (Epilogue)

18+ only! Minors do not interact!

Warnings: graphic sexual content, unprotected sex, language, oral sex (f rec), dirty talk, impact play, etc, happy tears, idk

Thank you for sticking with Poppins and all the heartbreak that came with it. I hope we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief and acknowledge that this was the only ending that was right for our dear characters. I love you all and thank you for going along for the ride with me❤️ ps- I didn’t expect to post this until tomorrow so it’s very lightly edited, forgive me

Josh’s warmth is what wakes you. His weight carefully hovering over you; chest pressed against your back, mouth humming along with tiny, breathy sounds as his lips travel the curve of your jaw.

You nuzzle further into the pillow, which feels a little too warm under the muted sunlight filtering into the room for your liking. You’ve never been much of a morning person.

Slowly though, he and Lil are changing that. Their sunny dispositions mirror one another’s and feed off of shared glee as they happily greet each new day. It is nothing short of infectious.

It’s difficult to be grouchy in a home filled to the brim with their lovely early hour enthusiasm.

“Time to open your eyes, sleeping beauty.” His voice curls across the shell of your ear, low and slow. You know that voice all too well.

“Better slow your roll, Joshua,” You mumble, eyes closed, body still heavy with slumber, “She’ll be awake and climbing into bed any second.”

“She’s been awake, sweetheart.” His lips are kissing love into your hair, lungs breathing you in deeply. “We read outside on the swing, and shared an apple. I fixed her hair pretty and helped her get dressed, and then Grandma came and whisked her away for a birthday girl breakfast. It’s just you and me.”

A smile flashes on your sleepy lips, stealing his heart away, “All that without me?”

He drops down against you a little heavier, a delicious weighted blanket of a man. “We decided to let mama sleep in. You looked very peaceful.”

Mama, mommy, mom when she’s exasperated…every iteration makes your body flush with maternal devotion and pride.

It had been over a dinner of pasta and salad when she’d first called you mommy like it was the most natural thing in the world. Picking at her plate, fist clutched around her fork, shoving a cherry tomato around, she’d explained how uncle sammy had made her angry that afternoon.

“I told him I wanted to hold Rosie’s leash,” she’d lamented. “But he said I’m too small to hold it at the dog park because she tries to run. I’m not too small though, mommy, I’m not!”

Josh had soothed her with something you hadn’t really heard through the blissed out ringing in your ears, cleared his throat, and excused himself.. You’d found him leaning over the bathroom sink, blinking tears away.

“Josh, I didn’t…” you had stumbled stupidly over your pitiful explanation, “I didn’t ask her to call me that. I’d never do that. I’m sorry, I understand why you’re upset….”

He’d turned on you so quickly you’d taken a step back in surprise, “Upset? Are you kidding me? I’ve never been less upset in my life. I don’t think I can even remember the definition of the word right now.”

Words kept in whispers, lest she overhear, he had pulled you into his arms, chin hooked over your shoulder to keep you close as he spoke, “I’ve waited such a long time for my little girl to have that moment that she just had. To be able to talk to her mama about her day while pretending to eat her vegetables. You belong here, sweetheart…you always have.”

What always stands to you about that moment of tears and whispers in the bathroom, of all places - what you think will always make you smile the hardest when you remember that night, is the fact that he never once asked you how you felt about it. He never asked if it had made you uncomfortable. Never questioned your love for Lily, he knew. He knew.

And now here you lie, cozy under the covers with your beautiful Josh pestering you with adoration and kisses, while the incredible little human being who calls you mommy shares a birthday breakfast with her grandmother.

“All alone,” Josh hushes into your ear, breaking the spell of innocence clouding your head. “Just me,” he leans up on his elbow, making room for his hand to slip beneath the sheets. “And you.”

“Joshua Michael,” you scold lightly, parting for him when his fingers begin to walk up the inside of your thigh, “You’re an insatiable pervert, you realize…a deviant.”

His giggle, huffed and sultry, somehow parts your thighs even further. “I’m not the one spreading my legs like a whore. I’ve barely touched you. Naughty girl.”

A shiver shakes your spine, driven by his words and the fingers he’s now sweeping over your panties. He is sunshine and light, love and laughter, all wrapped up in a gorgeous package that can switch on a dime and drench you in filth.

“I also happen to love it when you middle name me…” he confesses, circling your clit just to listen to you sigh. “Makes me impossibly hard.”

As if to prove himself, he grinds his cock into the small of your back, smiling against your cheek when you whimper.

“Listen to you,” he sounds mockingly sympathetic, “you’re very whiny, and so soon. Why, baby? Are you wet? Is it all slick and hot right here?” He presses at your panties a touch harder, “Would my pretty girl like to cum?”

“Listen to you,” you turn the tables, reaching back to drag your nails against his scalp. “You’re being very dirty. I think you’re feeling whinier than I am. You just hide it better. Isn’t that right, Josh? You’re just eager to fuck me all filthy and nasty in this big empty house where no one can hear, aren’t you? You want it, don’t you?”

He’s rocking into the swell of your ass now, fingers sliding over you, pressing satin into your folds, tapping at your swollen clit, teasing teasing teasing.

“Yeah,” his breath pants over your cheek, hard and quick, “yeah I fucking want it…and so do you. Cotton candy cunt is just begging for me, soaking your sweet panties, crying for cock. For my cock.”

Cotton candy never fails to make you weak, he’d called it that the first time he’d made you see stars, pressed up against the door that now stands open because there is no one here but the two of you.

His fingers have sneaked into your mouth, and you can’t seem to repress a prayer of his name as you suck and lick at them.

“Shh,” he hushes, so cocksure and sexy, “don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“Give it to me,” you pull away, longing for it to sound like a demand, but it slips off your tongue like the plea that it is as you reach back, trying to fight your panties down from your awkward position.

“Wanna taste you first,” he yanks your underwear down for you. “Want that beautiful pussy in my mouth, right in my fucking mouth,” with you bare enough for him to sink his fingers into the globe of your ass, he cracks a swift smack against it. “Tell me you want me to lick you. Tell me you want to cum pretty on my tongue.”

Your body is writhing now, twisting feverishly in a futile attempt to roll over and rip your nightshirt off all at once.

He’s having none of it, “I said fucking tell me,” he spanks you again, harder this time, groaning when you cry out, saturating the room with a needy, wailed moan.

“I want it, baby, please,” oh, how easily he can reduce you to a quaking, begging fool, not a thought in her head but Josh. “I want your mouth. I want to cum for you. Make me cry, Josh, make me fucking cry…make me cum.”

He growls out as his teeth drag over your cheek, and then your eyes are struggling to focus on the ceiling, head spinning from being flipped over without warning.

“Make you cum?” He’s taunting you now, kissing his way down to your breasts, making love to your nipples with his devious mouth. “Make you cry? Now why would I want to make my sweetheart cry?”

A soft bite arches your back away from the mattress, “Josh, baby….”

“Josh,” he whispers, tongue traveling the valley between your tits, “Josh, baby, don’t you sound meek? Like the prettiest wallflower who just wants to feel good…my sweet, sweet, sweetheart. I told you to fucking tell me…”

You know what he wants, and so you give it to him. “I want your mouth on me. I want you to lick me,” your hand fists in his hair, pulling him from your breast. “This, right here,” now you’re pinching at his plump, velvety bottom lip, fingertips pushing in to say hello to his warm, wet tongue “my pussy wants it so bad. Wrap these pretty lips around my clit until I make a mess.”

His face is buried between your legs so quickly you have to blink your way out of confusion. Just as quickly, you’re gripping and tugging at his curls, hips rocking up into his kiss while you beg him to stroke his dick while he devours your cunt.

“Yeah?” He mumbles, heavy and hot, into your aching flesh, “You want me to touch my cock while I eat this gorgeous pussy?”

“Yes, yes, yes…” you fall away into nothing sounds, mewling and keening into the morning light. A grunt as he shakes his face back and forth tells you he’s given you what you’ve asked for…and the sounds that chase that grunt shove you closer to the edge.

“I’m gonna cum…I’m gonna cum so hard,” it’s but a breath, you don’t know if he’s even heard you until his fervent nod answers back, save for the moans muffling from between your legs.

It is a warm wave that explodes over you as though you're the jagged, rocky shore. At the crest of it, you bolt upright, cradling his head against you as you pump your hips in time with your throbbing pulse, groaning like a jezebel until the walls drip with your sobs.

He doesn’t pull away until you’re pushing at his forehead and gasping for reprieve. When his breathtaking face resurfaces, it’s pink-cheeked and shining with your release.

“I’m fucking covered in you,” he crawls up, running the back of his hand across his mouth, mussing the soft hairs that perch above it. “Do you have any idea how fucking good you taste?”

He’s shoving and kicking his pants away as you pull his lips to yours, savoring your cunt and his need, all over them.

“Fuck me,” you’re clawing and pulling at him, hands flying about without care or thought as he bites at your collar bone.

“Yeah?” The tip slides, swollen and warm, against you, nudging at your quivering clit. “You want this? You want me to stuff your snug little cunt all full of me? Fuck you wide open?”

Your teeth are clenched and grinding though your reply, “Yes, fuck me…I want it, Josh. Give it to me, give it to your girl.”

That lazy drag against your center continues, “Think you deserve it, sweetheart? Does my baby deserve my cock this morning? Have you been a real good girl? Pout sweet, yeah? Make me want to give it to you.”

You turn your eyes soft, wide and wet, “Don’t you want to give it to me? Haven’t I been so good for you? Came pretty on your tongue just like you asked.”

A weak sound, something akin to a whimper, ripples out of his chest as he presses into you, gentle and slow. “Maybe you deserve just a little, huh? Don’t you, baby? Maybe you deserve just the tip, hmm?”

“Yes,” you lie, “Just the tip.”

He’s a liar too, and you both know it the second he slips inside.

“So fucking warm, sweetheart,” his mouth sinks into the crook of your neck, as he continues his relentless teasing, slipping just the silky soft head in and out of you “So fucking tight. Perfect, wet pussy, pretty and pink, greedy…all mine.’

“Yours,” you nod, pulling him in with your heels dug firmly into the base of his spine until you’re deliciously filled with him and rolling against his body like a glutton.

“Oh, you think you’re just gonna take what you want?” He sounds so sure of himself, but you can feel the resolve leaching from his frame, “Squeeze my cock with that needy cunt, then, sweetheart. Show me she loves it with a filthy little hug, dirty girl.”

You clench around him with a whine you wish you could say was purposeful, for as well as it works. The second it escapes your parted lips he’s pounding into you. Pressing into your lower stomach with a flattened palm and a hitching, “You feel me right here? You feel my cock right here, baby? So deep…fuck, so deep.” Fucking your body into the mattress as you claw at his shoulders, and gnash into his chest savagely.

“That’s it,” he grits out, huffing the words out between cruel snaps of his hips, “Tear into me, sweetheart. Make it fucking hurt. Harder,”

A growl, so reminiscent of a wild animal’s call, bursts forth from your heaving chest as you bite and suck at him, and it only serves to make him fuck away at you faster, deeper.

“Come on and cum for me,” his fingers are wrapped around the nape of your neck now, shoving your mouth against him. “Bite, baby, fucking bite. Hard. Do it.”

Sinking your teeth into his alabaster skin you let go, pulling away without weakening your grip, leaving a raised, purple and pink constellation in your wake as you shudder and convulse beneath his weight…calling his name, howling and shaking as those tears you’d begged for finally streak over your temples to chase each other into your tangled hair.

He’s lost it above you completely - cursing and grabbing at you wherever his wandering hands happen to land, his beautiful cock twitching frantically as it spills inside you. Filling you up, wet and dripping, as you both search for sure footing.

You haven’t all the time in the world, and surely you waste far too much of it staring at each other with his hands cupping your face - at last, he rolls to his side, curling himself around you until you feel safe and sound.

“You’re obscene, you know that?” You smile up at the ceiling, watching the fan as it swirls lazy circles above your heads.

“Oh yes, my love, I know,” he sighs, brushing a lock of hair from your face, “I make no apologies. We should shower.”

You nod, half sad to see it end, and half elated to get a move on for Lily’s big day. “Let’s shower, then I’ll run and pick up her cake. It won’t say Elizabeth this year, I can assure you. She’ll be in therapy over that for years,

Joshua.”

“Yeah, yeah…” his grip sinks into your ribs, tickling you gently. “Can you believe she’s five today? Five! I hate it.”

“I hate it too.” You nod, solemnly. “Talk to the science department on campus, tell them we need an anti-aging device or something.”

A laugh bursts out of him, dragging one out of you alongside it, “I’ll get right on that. Jake’s gonna be here around one, I told him his job is to blow up balloons. It’ll keep him quiet.”

“I bought a helium tank.” You remind him, toying with his fingers.

“He doesn’t have to know that.” His lips peck a quick line along your cheekbone. “I think he really might like this one. It’s getting kinda serious…well, as serious as Jake is capable of.”

“The girl he met in Lansing?” The jealousy that once might have lived inside your question is nonexistent. “Is he bringing her?”

“No,” his fingers tangle back around yours, “said today was Lil’s day and he wouldn’t draw focus from that. You know how he is.”

“He loves her so much,” now you’re choking up, but it’s because of Lily, not because of some errant territorial claim. Jake isn’t yours, and he never really was.

“That he does,” Josh nods and then tugs at you as he rolls off the bed and onto his feet. “C’mon now, sweetheart, shower time before the two most discerning women in our lives come back and discover us in a compromising situation.”

You follow after him, leaving the twisted sheets behind you, asking if he’ll wash your hair.

He turns around, eyebrow hooked like you should know better as he adjusts the water temperature. “Of course I’ll wash your hair, baby. I’ll take care of you. I’m always going to take care of you.”

Taglist: @gretasintrees @greta-van-chaos @celestialfauna @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @kiszkathecook @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @seventieswhore @jake-kiszkas-smirk @weightofdreams-gvf @imdepressedaf1996 @alisonwonderland29 @gretavanfleas @jakesgrapejuice @gretavangroove @sparrowofthedawn @xserenax-13 @tbagggvf @obetrolncocktails @jakeslovehandles @poofyloofy @70sgroupielovr @heatmyfleet @age-of-nyahh @sammiboo162 @gretasmokerising @spicedandicedtea @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @saoirsemaeve @mywickeddivinity @thelvnternskeeper @paintmyhouse @tripthelightfandomtastic @tripthelight-fanfic @mckenna4 @sarakay-gvf @theweightofjake @thewritingbeforesunrise @joshsmama @sammysvanfeet @rhythm-of-space @highladyofasgard @jordie-gvf-admin @calumspretty @sad1lynn @demolitionndann @gvfpal @starcatcher-jake

[transchesters]

the first time sam wears a dress.

dean had been a boy from the moment he was placed into his mother’s arms as a baby, even though the doctors proclaimed otherwise. even mary knew, when she looked into her child’s eyes, that he was a boy.

and as he grew, mary was proved right. dean threw aside anything with bows or skirts, but his eyes, still filled with wonder at the time, would light up at the blue t-shirts with dinosaur print and the torn up jeans. so deanna turned to dean, and john accepted it as it was. he knew his wife, knew she wasn’t delusional. and when mary got pregnant again, the thought of another boy running around the house with little dean as an older brother filled their hearts with warmth.

maybe sam was too young for mary to know any better, to know that her second son was actually her only daughter. maybe if she had lived past sam’s six-month birthday, she would have dressed her in the little dresses dean had detested.

but mary was dead, and john didn’t care what the hell his boys’ thought. what mattered was raising two hunters, trained to take down the things that ruined their lives. and sam picked up on that at a young age, and kept the deepest parts of herself, *to* herself. all she knew was her older brother and her father; she never got a chance to see any femininity in her life. her life, which for as long as she remembered, was guns and training and learning all the lore.

now, sam is fourteen. now, she is curious about the girls she meets at one school or the other, all with long hair and pretty skirts and colored eyelids. now, sam doesn’t know what’s wrong with her and why she longs for those things.

dean had been out on a supply run with their father, leaving sam to study or do whatever reclusive nerds do in their free time. sam was told to stay home by both dean and john, and they expected her to do exactly that considering most of the time, she was a perfect, obedient son. but could you blame her for wanting a bit more? to want to explore her curiosities and find out what they mean?

so she went to the local thrift shop in their current, rundown town. just to look, that’s all! that’s at least what she told herself as she walked inside and made a beeline for the women’s section.

sam felt close to panicking as she yanks a pale green dress from the racks and rushes over to the cashier. she offers some vague comment that it’s *”for my sister,”* and quickly paid and rushed back to the motel.

it’s late when dean and john return. john retires to his own room immediately, grabbing a beer and bottle of whiskey on the way. he leaves dean to unload supplies and tuck them away wherever they belong in the impala, before he’s shambling into his shared room with sam.

sam, who is standing in front of the bathroom mirror, gazing intently at herself, turning this way and that to watch the flowy dress twirl around her. she’s so lost in her mind that she doesn’t look up until dean slams the door shut, staring at her with wide eyes.

“dean! i-i, uh, i was just-” sam rambles, stumbling over her words as she quickly yanks the dress over her head, balling it up and holding it behind her as if dean will forget she was ever wearing it. “i just thought it was cool, it’s nothing, i swear! please— please don’t tell dad.”

dean feels stupid very suddenly. has he been ignoring obvious signs, similar to ones he showed when he was yonguer? a well of grief opens up within him, one he has worked very hard on squashing into a tiny ball and shoving it in the back of his mind. he misses his mother, and wishes desperately that she were here to help him say the right things.

the look on dean’s face is unreadable as all of this passes through his mind, at least until he remembers to soften it. until he offers sammy a smile. “it’s cool. i get it.”

the words do nothing to quell sam's panic. she shuffles out of the bathroom, keeping the dress clutched tightly behind her as if revealing it to dean would incite some unknowable rage. she is already the freak of the family, the one who wants nothing to do with the guns and the hunting and the moving town to town. and now, she’s a boy who wears dresses. she doesn’s even have the vocabulary to express the fact that she doesn’t feel like a boy at all!

“i'll get rid of it,” she mutters, shoving it under her bed, scrambling to grab one of dean's hand-me-down shirts and pulling it on.

“sammy. it's okay.” dean steps foward as his words still seem to do nothing. he grabs sam's shoulders, forcing her to look at him. “stay,” he states, before he takes a step back and begins to pull off his shirt. sam's face is screwed up, a mixture of confusion and distress, but watches nonetheless as dean drops his shirt to the side, revealing his chest, wrapped in the bandages from their first aid kits as usual.

“i guess i never really explained this to you,” dean mumbles under his breath, scratching at the bandages which make his whole upper body ache, but make his skin crawl when they aren't there. sam fidgets uncomfortably as she stands before her brother, shifting from foot to foot. she doesn't understand what he means, and he *hates* not understanding.

“can we just drop it, please?” she whines, averting her eyes as suddenly, dean begins tugging the bandages from his chest.

“look at me, dumbass,” dean grits out, because he doesn't have the words to explain this any better than just showing sammy.

maybe if things were different. maybe if mary was still here, they would have learned about this together. and when sam finally felt like sharing how she felt, they would be able to explain it to her together.

but mary is dead, and dean doesn't know what he is or what sam is other than winchesters'.

sam lifts her eyes finally when dean tells her to, and it's like she's seeing his brother for the first time. sure, she has seen dean naked before. they've shared a room forever, lived in impossibly small quarters, sometimes just the impala's backseat when john was too tired or drunk to find them a place. dean’s chest was different than his own, but he had never really thought about it. dean was a boy, and sam was a boy, and he never knew anything other than that.

until now.

sam’s eyes well up with tears as she finally understands. she and her brother are the same, yet different. she understands, and she feels understood, and it's so entirely overwhelming that she can't help but sniffle and wipe at her wet eyes.

dean rolls his eyes, his cheeks heating up as he yanks his shirt back on. “knock it off, sammy,” he grumbles, but there is a note of fondness in his voice he can't help. “it's fine. we'll deal with it.”

they both know it's going to suck. dean was lucky to look boyish enough that he passed pretty well. under his dad's big jacket and his oversized, thrifted clothes, no one questioned him. but sam thinks it won't be quite the same for her. and what is she supposed to tell her dad?!

perhaps those are questions for another time.

when sam pulls the dress back on under her big shirt and crawls into bed that way, dean doesn't say anything. when dean wraps his chest again, sam looks away. she wonders if the bruises lining his sides hurt. she wonders why their bodies are the way they are, both itching for the other's skin. why must sam’s chest concave when dean wants nothing but a falt chest? why must dean hide curved hips under baggy jeans when sam wishes she had anything besides her stick-like figure?

the sibilings go to sleep, a little more in tune with the other, and a little bit sadder for the other.

[pagannatural]

Season 1. Wincest Narrative

The way this story unfolds is so, so beautiful and I lose my mind a little when I think about it as a whole. When it opens, the brothers haven’t spoken in 3 or 4 years even though they've both desperately wanted to, and they both think the other doesn't want them. The first time they see each other after Sam walks out, they struggle in the dark and pin each other to the ground and then run away together.

Season character arcs

Sam begins the season ostensibly satisfied with his life at Stanford, with a career plan and a long-term relationship. Two things have to happen to disrupt that- Dean coming back into his life, and Jessica being killed. Kind of a switcheroo. 

Sam was going to marry his Dean-replacement girlfriend. He was never going to talk about his past even though he still thought about it all the time, still looked up cases and tried to follow along with what was happening in Dean’s life. He was going to box his past up and put it away forever and pretend to fit in because this is the life he chose, and because Dean didn't pick him. And then Dean literally breaks through Sam's careful barriers and all it takes is a gruff “yeah well I don’t want to [do this without you]", and Sam packs his bags. He doesn't even look back when Jessica asks where he’s going. He doesn’t kiss her goodbye. 

The way Dean appears to Sam as this dangerous, rough-around-the-edges, so familiar and so alive and so secret fork in the road is just delicious.

Dean starts the season believing that Sam has rejected and abandoned him. He wants his little brother back so badly, but he truly thinks Sam doesn’t want him. He finally has something to approach Sam with that maybe Sam will care about enough to come back to him- their dad, missing. I haven't seen this episode but I know later in the show Dean says he waited for hours outside before he broke in, agonizing over what Sam would say.

Over the course of the season Dean pursues Sam and shows him that he will protect him, keep him safe, choose him, respect him, and save him. The one thing he won't do is corrupt him, which is what he believes their feelings for each other would do. That's a conflict he'll bring into next season, but Sam decides to love him anyway. Sam tries so hard to hold onto the world outside of Dean but he ends up succumbing. By the end of the season, they’ve accepted that they're the most important things to each other.

John’s role is crucial to Sam and Dean’s relationship

Sam wants to belong and to be his own person. John is the force dictating his life before he leaves, so he has to get away from John. It’s not possible for Sam to grow up without breaking from his dad.

John gives bundled baby Sammy to Dean the night of the fire and that’s pretty much the way their relationships with each other form. John has handed Sam off to Dean. They hold conflicting positions in Sam’s life. 

John is a larger-than-life god-like figure to Dean. He’s distant and he has all the answers and all the power and his word is law, and Dean’s contract with him is to Take Care of Sam. So Dean serves this purpose under John’s rule until they reach a point at which Dean can’t take care of Sam without breaking from John and growing up. That rupture came to a head when Sam left for Stanford and Dean takes his first steps toward replacing John when John goes missing, by going to Sam. Dean makes the first move after years have passed to reconnect, something not even John would do.

Sam and Dean are fighting against getting close again for different reasons

Sam wishes he could have a normal life. A normal life is by necessity also a life distant from Dean. In the first episode, when Dean drops Sam off at Stanford and tells him they made a pretty good team, Sam looks conflicted and chokes out a “yeah” before watching Dean drive away. He knows they make a good team, that’s not the problem. Throughout this season, he is at war with wanting to be with Dean vs wanting to be normal.

From the very first episode and throughout the entire season, it’s obvious that they were very close before Sam left. They make each other angry and they make each other laugh and they communicate just by looking at each other- strategizing and seeking each other’s opinions and assessing each other’s needs in glances. They instantly fold back into each other’s lives, they save each other over and over. They gravitate toward each other and walk in sync and stand in each other’s spaces. There’s this sense that they know one another, not just better than anyone else, but better than anyone could ever possibly know them. It's clear to the viewer that they're matching puzzle pieces.

And I don’t think Sam’s conflict is actually about hunting versus normal at all. Sam rediscovers his love and aptitude for hunting right away. He feels fulfilled, admires Dean, and enjoys himself much of the time. In “It’s a Terrible Life” (s4) he still asks Dean to run away with him and be hunters together in an alternate universe. So his conflict centers on John and Dean. 

At this point Sam thinks Dean sided with John and abandoned him when he stopped hunting. But it’s more than feeling hurt and abandoned by Dean- Sam literally cannot have both Dean and a life. Dean is all-consuming. Sam could get the things he needs from Dean- belonging and respect- if it weren’t for two things: 1, Dean is still unwilling to break from John in a way that matters and 2, the way that they love each other is so abnormal it feels impossible.

Sam is unwilling to put Dean above everything else because it is in fact a dichotomy- Dean is bigger than just a brother, he can’t fit into Sam’s life as just another part of it. Sam knows that. 

Dean’s conflicts mirror Sam’s. Sometimes he resents hunting and wishes his life could’ve been normal. He faces the same dichotomy- once he becomes more independent from John, he can either have a family and home of his own or he can have Sam, and he hates himself partly because what he wants more is Sam. He knows that's not normal and thinks a part of Sam hates him for it. One reason their connection is so fraught with guilt and shame is because it's sexual/psychosexual, which is why I personally tag everything wincest. The way sexual and romantic relationships are so often a blatant point of conflict between them, the way their scenes are often shot like sex scenes, the jealousy and possessiveness, the way they touch each other, the fact that they see each other as desirable. It all points to a love complicated by sex. I have no problem with the idea of them as platonic soulmates, but I honestly think the text supports just straight-up wincest.

And actually they're not soulmates

They're twin flames. The idea that they're soulmates comes in later, but I think it's more precise and also more useful to the narrative to understand them as twin flames.

Twin flames are one soul split into two people, and their purpose is to cause one another to grow and be challenged by their connection. They're halves and also mirrors. That's why their dynamic is so often this push-pull, why their connection is so palpable, why they find each other in every universe and why they know each other so impossibly deeply. Narratively, one is often pursuing the other and they tend to push each other to the deepest depths of highs and lows. They separate, but they always come back to each other.

[sweetvamp03]

Where you really belong

Word count: 2881

Sam Winchester x Female reader-no smut-light violence-fluff

Summary: You and Sam haven't seen eachother in months, when suddenly the Winchester boys show up unexpectedly. You miss eachother but don't know if you can work out your issues.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unlocking your front door, you waved at the car still on the road, waiting for you to get inside. You stepped in, flicking the light on and throwing your jacket and purse on the entry bench. You made your way to the kitchen to scavenge for something to snack on. Your boyfriend Oliver had taken you out to dinner at some fancy restaurant where the portions were almost as insane as the the food they offered. You politely ate what you ordered and prayed that he wouldn't want to come in so you could pig out. You were surprised to see the overhead light on, as you were usually pretty anal about the electricity bill. Turning the corner you were greeted by two rather large men, sitting at your dining table. Eyes glancing from one to the other, you blurted out, "Dean, Sam, what are you doing here?". The tension between you and Sam was thick in the air, Dean was well aware of it. Trying to focus mainly on the shorter one, you tilted your head, silently repeating your first question.

"Just saying hi, checking up on our favourite girl" Dean finally responded with a smile on his face, that was slowly fading when he looked at sam, obviously very uncomfortable.

"Oh well it's good to see you! Both of you." You meant it, your heart hadn't stopped racing since you saw Sam standing there, it took everything in you not to wrap him in a tight hug.

"You were out late! Not tracking any vamps are you?"

"No not in months dean. I was just out at dinner- with a friend." your eyes quickly darted to Sam and back, trying to gauge his reaction.

Raising his eyebrows and grinning ear to ear he exclamed, "Oh is she coming in? I love to meet any friends of yours."

Rolling your eyes you rebuttled "Yeah no. As much as I'd love for you to sleep with more of my friends, they had to get home."

Heading to the fridge you offered the boys some drinks, only one of them accepted. You had some beers left over from a party you had a few weeks ago, you knew if you were going to get through this you were going to have to be inhebreated.

"Okay so what's the real reason you guys are here?"

"Oh y'know, a demon threatened sammy here, if he didn't help him, he'd kill you. Don't freak out though, you're not dead so that's a good sign."

Taking a large swig out of your bottle you swallowed and let out a sigh. "Oh great."

Just then your phone started to ring, you fished it out of your dress pocket and glanced at the screen. Oliver. Of course. You knew that if you didn't answer he would just call back or worse, come check on you.

Picking up the call, you glided out of the room so your conversation hopefully wasn't overheard. "Hey Oli"

"Hey babe, just making sure you're okay, I'm sorry again that I couldn't stay over, apparently my boss thinks holding meetings at 5am is a fun way to boost our spirits."

"Heh yeah, it's all good, I have some stuff I need to do tonight anyway."

"I'll see you for lunch tomorrow though right? at Alexanders?"

Alexanders was your guys' go to restaurant, he took you there on your first date. "Yeah sure, I'll see you tomorrow."

"I love you baby" your heart ached, not because it was happy but because that wasn't the person you wanted to be telling you that.

"Love you too, babe." you choked out.

You hung up and hurried back into the kitchen, where you saw both boys silently looking in your direction. Apparently the walls in this little house were thinner than you had thought. Your lips parted, letting out an almost inaudible sigh, looking apologetically towards Sam. Your head started stiring, trying to rember what you had said, to understand just how bad it actually was. The words "Love you babe" echoed through your thoughts. Understandably Sam started out of the room, looking more upset than mad. Your eyes followed him out, then went right back to Dean, he probably hated you for hurting his brother like that.

"Dean I'm so sorry, I-"

"I know, don't mind Sammy he's just been a drama queen these last couple of months. We arn't here because of him, just to make sure you're okay."

Part of you felt dissapointed, but understood. "Well, thanks."

Sam rushed back into the room, with a burning question. "Hey uh do your neighbors usually stare out their blinds into your living room?"

"Uh not that i've noticed." you rushed to the window near the front door to take a peek.

"Yeah didn't think so" Sam grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the blinds. "Where do you keep your guns?"

"Under my bed" you replied.

"Show me."

You lead Sam into your bedroom, getting on all fours and reaching under your bedframe, and pulling out a few different cases. You sit up while opening the cases, you look back at Sam, it was so quiet as if he had left. You noticed his eyes trailing over the photo on your nightstand of you and Oliver. You turned back pretending to not have noticed. You kept the photo there because you thought you should, if you saw him every night when you fell asleep and every morning when you woke up, maybe your feeling would start to feel real. All of your friends have told you that he's perfect for you, and you know it too. So you gave it everything you had to try and make it work. Unfortunatley every moment you spent with him, you were thinking of someone else. It was't fair to him, you knew that, but you didn't know what to do at this point. You knew you'd never be over Sam, but you had to move on, trying to fake it til you make it.

You finally decided to fill the silence with something you had to get off your chest. "I don't love him you know." you confided in him, standing up.

"You don't have to lie to me Y/N, I heard you on the phone." Sam tried to let out a sarcastic chuckle, but you could tell how crushed he was.

"Doesn't mean I meant it. I haven't meant it since I said it to you." you lowered your head, embarrased to be oversharing with him like this. You used to tell him everything but things were different now.

"Then why did you leave? Why haven't you talked to me since that night?" he blurted out while grabbing your arm, pulling you closer to him.

"You know why Sam. It just doesn't work, you and me." You felt like you could hear your heart actually crack.

He slid his hand down your arm and intertwined it with yours. Slowly moving his other hand up to your jaw, tracing his thumb along your cheek. You were only inches away from eachother now, finding it hard to steady your breathing. You slowly leaned in to have your lips meet his, and he reciprocated in slow, passionate, loving, kisses. You pulled away abruptly.

"No, Sam. I can't do this."

"Why not?"

"I've spent all these months trying to forget you, trying to fake love with someone else so that maybe someday it won't hurt as bad as it does right now. And it has gotten me nowhere. This is only going to set me back further and I'll never be able to move on." you rambled on not knowing what you were going to say next.

"But why do you have to get over me, why can't we be together? I love you Y/N, and you've made it clear you still have feelings for me, so please just tell me what happened to us." he grabbed your hand back, pulling it up to his mouth to plant a light kiss on the back.

A tear started to form in the inner corner of your eye, you couldn't let yourself go like this, not right now while you were under some sort of supernatural attack. "We should get take the guns out to dean." you said while wiping away the tear that was trying to make its way down your face.

Dean was waiting impatiently wondering where the two of you had been. "Guys c'mon, nows not the time to get all touchy feely, if you didn't know before, theres kind of a bunch of demons watching us."

"Yeah sorry the case was jammed and we couldn't open it" you replied, realizing that Dean had noticed the red in your eyes from the almost tears.

"But they haven't done anything? Haven't made a move at all?" Sam questioned curiously.

"Nope. I don't know what kind of orders they got but they don't really seem to be in attack mode."

You didn't really feel like fighting if it wasn't necessary, so you headed to the couch.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked.

"I'm not gonna stand around all night waiting for them to pounce, go ahead and get comfortable." you laughed.

Sam sauntered towards the couch as you had moments before, taking a seat on the cushion right next to you. You noticed Dean had just taken a seat in the chair by the window, staying on look out. Your phone lightly pinged in your pocket, you grabbed it out and saw a text from Oliver reading "Goodnight baby, see you tomorrow and sleep well <3". You tried to turn it off as quickly as possible but were unsuccessful. Oliver sent a goodnight text every night, it was very sweet but it annoyed you a little bit.

"Not gonna reply?" Sam inquired.

"I already said goodnight earlier." you barked back at him.

He lowered his voice to a hushed tone so it would be difficult for Dean to hear everything. "Why are you here? With him? You don't love him, if you did truly love him I'd leave it alone. I just want what will make you happy. That's all I've ever wanted, you know that Y/N."

You couldn't talk here, not with Dean so close. You abrubtly stood up and grabbed Sam by the hand dragging him back into the kitchen.

Once you were defintely out of earshot you opened up to him, not wanting to, but needing to.

"Sam, that night, with the Wendigo, you almost died."

"I almost die like once a week, and I actually die quite often too." he let out a pained chuckle.

"You almost died because of me. You wouldn't have if you weren't trying to protect me, I can't be the reason you die Sam, I just can't. If I ever lost you I don't think I could cope. I thought if I left and tried to distance myself that it would be better for the both of us."

"Y/N, I know. I felt that way every time you left the bunker. But what good are we if we stay apart? We are just as hurt and destroyed as we would be if one of us lost eachother. I'll do anything for you, that inlcudes dying. But I know how hard that would hit you, so I try my very best to stay alive. For you. Every morning I get up and I remember I need to make it through the day because you are still out there, and one day you could come back to me."

The tears you tried so hard to battle earlier were coming back, flooding this time. Sam grabbed you up, his arms wrapped around your waist, while yours framed his neck. Burying your head into his shoulder you couldn't hold it in any longer. "I love you Sam" it came out muffled as your mouth was pressed to his red flannel.

"I love you too baby." You could feel tears hitting the top of your head, they were slowly running down his face and your heart pounded with love. Something you hadn't felt in awhile.

A loud creak behind you made you jump, luckily it was just dean. You were still wrapped in Sam's arms and Dean looked relieved. "Hey guys, uh sorry to interrupt what was probably a very heartwarming moment, but I think they are making some sort of move-" He turned to walk back to the front of the house then paused and returned to meet your faces. "But not the kind of move that was about to happen here" he smirked.

As he bolted out of the room you threw a bag of chips that was on the counter beside you, towards him. Something light enough that wouldn't hurt, but that would still get the message across. "Ow" he mumbled.

Sam let out a laugh, he loved it when you stood up for yourself. Looking back into his puppy dog eyes, you silently agreed to let go of eachother and prepare for the fight that was upcoming.

Guns in hand, you waited by the front door, when quickly an old man and woman burst through it, eyes black as coal. You and Sam fired shots, slowing them down a bit, while Dean was hiding behind a cabinet. When opportunity struck, he lept out and stabbed the woman in the chest, quickly removing the knife covered in blood, and driving it into the mans back. There was silence.

"Uh was that it?" you said flatly.

"I have no idea. Those were the only two I saw watching us. Seems weird that they didn't have more on babysitting duty." Dean was looking around waiting for another attack from a different angle. You all waited and waited but nothing came. After 10 minutes, you sat down on the couch, if the demons were going to try and kill you, they better do it soon because you arn't the most patient girl in the world.

"Maybe we just got lucky?" Sam sounded confused at his own explanation.

Just then, the back window was completely shattered and before you knew it, the demon was inside and making his way towards Sam.

"Sam!" You exclaimed as you jumped up. Horror in your eyes. You looked over to Dean who was knocked unconcious from the blow.

You grabbed the demon knife out of Deans limp hand and stuck it in the bloody demon faster than anything you've ever done before. He fell to the ground and you stepped over him to make your way towards the long haired man you loved so dearly. "Baby are you alright?" you whispered to him.

"Yeah don't worry sweetheart I'm okay, are you okay?" he was looking you over.

"I'm fine, see this is why I left." you both let out a little laugh as he kissed your forehead.

Just then Dean gained conciousness and looked at the two of you, "Alright we did it!" sticking out a thumbs up.

Both you and Sam rolled your eyes once again and went back to looking at eachother. You knew you weren't staying here any longer, so you tried to remember where you stashed your suitcase. The two of you let Dean take care of the bodies while you packed up your sad little life here in Sioux Falls. All you really needed was Sam; and maybe your clothes. You left everything else behind. Except a little box you kept on the top shelf of your closet. Inside, pictures and memories from you and Sam, even though you tried to move on, you couldn't just forget him completly, you had to keep some things. He came up behind you to take a peek inside to see what you had in there, his eyes softened as he wrapped his arms around you. He nuzzled his face into your hair, taking in your scent, something he truly missed. He would never admit it, but he had one of his sweaters that you used to wear around the bunker, he hadn't washed it since you left because he didn't want to forget how you smelled.

"What am I going to tell Oliver?" you took a deep breath, feeling horrible that you were doing this to him. But not so horrible since Sam's thick arms were holding you tight.

"Just tell him, it's not you, it's me"

You laughed, "Oh yeah that's clever, nobody has ever used that one before."

"Just tell him you're going back to where you really belong."

"Yeah, that sounds good."

The engine of the impala sounded as Dean pulled into the driveway, "I'll take your bags out, I'll give you a moment" Sam offered.

"No thanks, I don't need any more moments here. I want to spend all my moments where I really belong from now on." You smiled up at him.

He took your hand, and you each grabbed a bag, heading out the door without looking back. You knew that your life was just getting started now, it felt stalled before, but this is where you were truly meant to be. With the WInchester brothers, saving people, hunting things. And most importantly, being with the only man you ever truly loved.