#all of qing jing peak pitying sqq for being left for some other woman

[elaemae]

I would give my milk and cookies to anyone who makes a fic of this

Luo Binghe somehow finds out that his shizun and biological father had a tumble once (whether true or untrue, neither party confirms nor denies) and Luo Binghe comes to the realization that THIS is the true reason why his shizun hates him so! His biological father clearly chose a woman over shizun and to have Binghe instead - then there was the question of whether he cheated or officially left shizun to get married to a woman and-

[rarepears]

via @caranmerya

#i love that we as a fandom decided that lbh's brain operates in soap opera logic only bless bim#i don't care if it's true or not i just want for lbh to spread his assumption far and wide#all of qing jing peak pitying sqq for being left for some other woman#having to raise his ex's son#this au is too fun#i can imagine people pitying sqq or being bewildered anyone ever put up with him in the first place#and lbh casting his shizun as the tragic beauty abandoned by his shitty first love#I'd pay good money for lbh to say something like that to sqq who would assume it's about something entirely different#just lbb looked at sqq's abandonment issues and his hatred of him and came up with this#he's like i connected the dots!#on the one hand i think it's funnier if it's not true at all in true sj lore fashion#on the other hand the idea of tlj and sj sleepjng together (probably due to some papapa flower or whatever)#and people turning it into a tragic love would grwatly amuse tlj and make sj qi deviate#bonus points sy landing in the middle of this and taking it as gospel#sy: sqq slept with a demon! he knew lbh was a half demon all along! omg airplane why didn't you include this it all makes sense now!#airplane who knows that's all bullshit: ... yeah sorry bro

In this AU, Luo Binghe isn't spreading his seed far and wide. He's spreading the conspiracy he's come up about shizun and his stranger of a biofather. I'm sure a funny poem can be created where the draft is something like "Shizun and baba tumbled in bed, Baba fumbled real bad, All the country's whores couldn't put Shizun back together again-"

Shen Jiu never slept together with Tianlang Jun. They probably walked passed each other in a brothel once and then some random NPC pops up with this memory, thus backing up and cementing Luo Binghe's story.

Wait you're so real for this

Unfortunately this Snape won't ever save Luo Binghe's hide unless it's like the Old Palace Master.

Luo binghe feels like the poor mistreated son of a concubine being bullied by the wife, but, like, he gets it! He's mad that his bio-dad would mistreat such a talented beautiful man like that!!

[ophidius complex points increase 5000+ points]

"I'll treat you right, shizun!" Luo Binghe thinks. "I can fix you!"

Luo Binghe somehow finds out that his shizun and biological father had a tumble once (whether true or untrue, neither party confirms nor denies) and Luo Binghe comes to the realization that THIS is the true reason why his shizun hates him so! His biological father clearly chose a woman over shizun and to have Binghe instead - then there was the question of whether he cheated or officially left shizun to get married to a woman and-