#all my homies hate laura

[daincrediblegg]

DRAG LAURA’S ASS DRAG HER

My man… it’s not even hard to do

Girl… she 1) made them get there a day early neglecting to tell Max they didn’t get a callback to confirm they could come until they were literally in front of the mostly empty lodge 2)out of pure spite being like “lets not go to the fucking motel like the creepy cop suggested” fully knowing all the information from point 1 (and like sure Trav comes off so creepy but you just experienced some creepy shit in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night it’s fucking nap time- not to mention it’s just a good call in general considering CHRIS DIDNT CALL HER BACK) and both these things leading up to 3) forcing her boyfriend to break into a locked storm shelter to investigate some shit she thought she saw leading to him getting bit. Its literally all on her when Max just WANTED TO GO TO THE FUCKING MOTEL.

AND LIKE???? Not to mention that the fucking poem AND Travis BOTH mention the white wolf top dog element of the curse and girl can’t even put it the fuck together that that may NOT mean Chris Hackett??? Shooting Kaylee mistaking her for chris with no regard that it may not even BE Chris??? (Though I grant Travis was cagey about how many werewolves there are she still shows absolutely zero remorse when she DOES learn this information). And like SURE Travis kept her locked up for 2 months but THERE WAS A VERY CLEAR AND BLATANT WAY TO CURE THE CURSE FOR EVERYONE????? GO FOR THAT YOU IDIOT BC ITS LIKELY THAT THEY’RE A VICTIM OF THIS AS MUCH AS YOU!!!!! Lack of fucking empathy??? Eat shit girlie.

AND WITH ALL THAT SHE HAS THE FUCKING G A L L TO GET ON MAX’S ASS ABOUT NOT GETTING INTO THE SAME GRAD SCHOOL??? Like she can be REAL shitty to Max about it if you let her and how condescending she is about it base-line. “we’ve made plans” no YOU made plans and are dragging him like a prop in YOUR life!!!Heaven forbid a situation is out of your control or HIS and that your plans need to change AND THAT HIS MIGHT NOT ALIGN WITH YOURS ANYMORE!!! He deserves better than that and to flourish as an individual (and I’m not saying that just because I think the better he can do is ME. I had all these receipts on lock before he became my babygirl so put that in your pipe and smoke it)

[widowshill]

pot kettle black my good man

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug watches 'The Bad Batch': The Outpost

As per many people's requests, I've collected a series of texts and Facebook messages from Doug when he watched certain episodes of everyone's favorite Copy Paste Boi show.

Some he was quite pithy on ('Ryan-from-Accounting goes fast but not fast enough to get away from the Bitch Wife Laura'), and others...well, he got excitable, to put it mildly.

Here's one of the more deranged ones, Season 2, Episode 12, 'The Outpost'. Or as Doug calls it: "The Daddy Warcrimes Christmas Special."

CW for Language like you wouldn't believe. Doug says "you'll need a permission slip from your momma to read this, I guess."

-----

Daddy Warcrimes is waiting by the Empire's equivalent of a windowless van, because comfort is just not his thing and he really wants the experience of smuggling cocaine across the border one of these days.

Some bitch who looks like she works at a bank is telling these clones that their extended warranty is up. I wanna bring her a bag of pennies and make her count it before I deposit it because I'm sick like that.

So here comes in SOME BLOND JACKASS. Mother of Hell do I hate this guy. Can I just tell you how much I hate him? I hate him like I hate the Crimson Tide, like I hate February, like I hate my mother-in-law. Hate hate hate. 

So Daddy Warcrimes, SOME BLOND JACKASS, and some homies get into Floating Probable Cause to lay waste to an unsuspecting Third World country or whatever.

Well, I was wrong! Looks like Elsa and her frozen fingers took over this dump. Disney owns both, so why not. The cold never bothered them anyway. Nope, they’re at somebody’s nasty old storage shed. Why does this remind me of visiting my sister in Wyoming?

Oh, who is this no-frills, salt-of-the-earth, son-of-a-bitch? Is that tanned Kurt Russell? No? It’s Sassy Park Ranger! I like him already. If he was my boss I’d actually show up to work on time and sober, or late and hung over, either way, it’d be a good time with the man. He just seems cool and chill and a nice dude. I bet he’s got homemade beef jerky in his locker and his beard always smells like cigar smoke. 

OH SHUT UP STUPID BLOND JACKASS, Jesus Christ I’ve never wanted to hit someone with a folding chair so hard in my life. CALL HIM COMMANDER.

Aw, Sassy Park Ranger’s being nice to Daddy Warcrimes, maybe Daddy Warcrimes will share the Columbian nose candy in the back of the van with Sassy Park Ranger, and Sassy Park Ranger won’t ask about the sobbing family Daddy Warcrimes is probably holding for ransom in the back. It’s all about understanding each other. 

This is truly the Daddy Warcrimes Christmas special, snow and friendship and stuff. I hope this doesn’t end up with Daddy Warcrimes 86’ing Rudolph and the rest of the reindeer from the sky, that would traumatize the children. But this is the same studio that produced Bambi so who knows. Didn't he try killing a kid the first episode?

Oh man, Sassy Park Ranger’s lost a lot of his men, that’s real sad. Only two left, Jesus. SHUT UP BLOND JACKASS SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

(I won’t repeat it, but the amount of times that SHUT UP was texted was….something else- Dr. MM)

Sassy Park Ranger’s taking Daddy Warcrimes on a hike around the place in the middle of a blizzard, probably going to say hi to the yeti hooker they all frequent and show him how to write his name in the snow with pee. He’s such a good guy. If they go sledding I’d be so happy.

Oh, shit! Daddy Warcrimes remembers that he has a job and proceeds to cop some poor bastard in the leg so he can follow the trail of blood in the snow. What in the Fargo am I watching here, does Steve Buschemi show up at one point now. No sledding in this one, I guess.

Well there goes Sassy Park Ranger and Daddy Warcrimes on a heartwarming romp following a crippled burglar in the snow as he bleeds to death. Kevin McCallister would be so proud. Well, now, they found a dead body already. You know, at this point, if Daddy Warcrimes capped Santa in the head this show wouldn’t be less wholesome. 

Aw shit Daddy Warcrimes stepped on a landmine, but Sassy Park Ranger watched his training videos that HR made them sit through and disarms it. They’re having a nice convo, I really, really like Sassy Park Ranger. If he dies I’ll be so freaking mad. 

(I said nothing, FYI - Dr. MM)

Aw shit, they found the bunker of crazy white people with guns in the snow. It’s confirmed: the Daddy Warcrimes Christmas Special takes place in Wyoming. Are Daddy Warcrimes and Sassy Park Ranger facing off my brother-in-law and his branch of the VFW near Laramie? Those guys need hobbies besides doomsday prepping and getting drunk in the snow. It ain’t right. 

“After all we sacrificed”…man. I feel right here. Is this the child friendly version of Enemy at the Gate? Shit. Please these two bastards need to survive. I need a beer and I wanna hug my wife.  

Dr. Meat Muffin, please don't tell me you're letting your babies watch this show. They need that dog from Australia who has fun with her daddy, not this.

Oh shit, avalanche! 

Oh no, Sassy Park Ranger. Oh no, oh no. Oh, Daddy Warcrimes.

Thank Christ they made it! They’re gonna save him! They’re gonna save him.

Wait. What. 

WHAT THE FUCK, BLOND ASSHOLE. 

I HATE THIS JACKASS SO GODDAMNED MUCH, SOLDIER OF THE EMPIRE, I WANNER SHOVE MY SOLDIER UP YOUR EMPIRE YOU STUPID DICK. 

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Yay! Daddy Warcrimes finally took out his gun and 86’d that FUCK. CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY!! YAAAAAAY!!!!!

Man...I hope this ends okay for Daddy Warcrimes. I hope his brothers aren't just dicking around somewhere warm while he and the other bros are out dying.

Guess that'll be next episode?"

....Doug snapped SO HARD watching 'Pabu'. Brace yourselves.

[schismusic]

The Discography Principle - Prologue, or: "All My Homies Hate Dividing by Zero"

The discography principle may be defined as an objective way to determine whether or not you're worthy of calling a band or artist "your favorite" or "one of your favorites". A possible enunciation of it goes as follows:

"Let u ≝ some asshole, B ≝ {b|b is a band}, n ≝ #({x|x is a record by b}); let p = #({y|y is a record by b in u's possession}) = p1 + p2 wherein p1 ≝ number of physical records by b you own in any format and p2 ≝ number of records by b you have downloaded. If p ≥ n ∨ p2 = n (for n → +∞), then ∃b∈B such that b is one of u's favorite bands."

When u = me, this subset of B (which we might call Bf) is comprised of six bands, off the top of my head: Autechre, Godflesh, Shellac, Kraftwerk, Fugazi and Coil, listed in no particular order.

To download a record, especially in high-quality formats, is no small thing because - in an era of 24/7 online access to all sorts of music, provided you know where to look for it - it takes commitment. Regardless of whether or not you actually get to listen to a particular record, it's safe to assume that you would never work your way through Soulseek or Sophie's Floorboard or Systems of Romance or what have you to get all the others if you haven't already listened to (and loved) enough of their stuff to know that yes, it is worth the effort and the gigabytes (and the money, if you know about Bandcamp and you're so inclined. I am so inclined, most of the time; unfortunately, my finances usually don't agree with me). To buy a record is relatively easy: Soulseek is a bitch to set up, MediaFire and MEGA can backfire (no pun intended) horribly and leave you hanging when the link is inevitably copyright-struck, or give you a digital STD in particularly unfortunate cases. Anyway, downloading a whole discography potentially gives you a veritable goldmine of stuff that you are, at this point, left to your own devices to explore at your earliest convenience, whatever that may be, and provided you walk around with you HDD constantly on you - there's no way in hell you're ever fitting that stuff on your phone, I don't believe you, fuck you. Six bands are more than enough to smoke your memory space completely, trust me.

Anyway, the more perceptive among you might have noticed (as usual in many of my posts: like Twin Peaks does with Laura Palmer - and, later, Dale Cooper - I thrive in dancing around the space where something is evidently missing, and gesture very obviously to what should be there but isn't) a pretty big elephant in the room which is time to address.

If we define Bf(u) ≝ {Autechre; Coil; Fugazi; Godflesh; Kraftwerk; Shellac}, some of you OGs might remember there's at least one obvious element number zero that's missing here. Let's talk about it right away.

Element #0: SWANS

Like every annoying music rat bastard on the Internet, my ever-growing and (once) wide choice of band shirts includes a Swans t-shirt. Specifically, I have a Filth album cover t-shirt, because it stands as one of the most accurate and starkly beautiful album covers of all time. A discarded X-ray photograph of some patient's admittedly very nicely-kept teeth, kept bare by a dentist's mechanical contraption has become the official insignia for everything grimy, sludgy, fucked up, antihuman, urban-in-the-uncomfortable-way in Swans' music. Early Swans truly had a magic that is hard to replicate to this day (to this day I believe only one band might actually have made it if to a smaller extent, and they're featured later on this list precisely because they chose to leave that behind at one point) and it resides in the absolute absence of magic that transpires from their music: it's so stark, bare-boned and brutal in a profoundly dehumanizing way that it really leaves nothing left of who made it, or so it would seem.

Unfortunately, Swans being horrifying testaments to humanity's curse of resilience lasted relatively little, specifically about ten years if we wanna stretch it all the way to Soundtracks for the Blind - but I would argue that stuff had already given way by the time The Great Annihilator dropped in 1995. As a disclaimer, The Great Annihilator and Swans Are Dead are actually great and Soundtracks for the Blind is an extremely compelling snapshot of things that Swans were and/or could have been, just so we're all on the same page. But I guess most will agree when I say that while The Seer and To Be Kind are pretty good in their own, entirely different way, The Glowing Man began showing signs of wear and tear in the formula that they seem to have been unable to leave behind even when leaving meaning dropped, to a point where I listened to like five minutes of The Beggar before giving up, possibly forever, on the idea of modern Swans being somehow relevant. It's mostly a case of common over-exposure, plain and simple. I had a friend who simply could never listen to the Doors because he'd basically worn the records out by the time he was 16 and even hearing one note of any song of theirs sent him into a fucked up blathering rage.

Ironically enough what got Swans fucked was this tension to imbue themselves with psychedelic techniques and therefore moving into "becoming the new Doors" or - like a Tumblr post I read back in 2016 said - turning into "a batshit insane King Crimson". Not even discussing how frankly debatable this description is, it does turn out to be pretty useful, because it very directly leads us to:

Element #0, again: KING CRIMSON (hear me out folks, this is not what it looks like)

First things first: Robert Fripp is my favorite guitarist of all time and his and Adrian Belew's guitar styles on Discipline remain among the most influential things I have ever heard to me. I only have one guitarist in my current band (and that would be me) but I have never stopped attempting to replicate the dizzying guitar figures that Fripp and Belew intertwine, counterphase, overlap. One could even argue that the lack of intertwining, counterphasing and overlapping guitar parts is in itself a distinctive feature of my guitar style, in that I force myself into a dichotomy: giving the track body, oomph, presence versus making the part spidery, nimble, unsafe to walk over.

Anyway, put it simply, too many people like King Crimson here, and worst of all too many people like them for the right reasons. You don't have a Oneohtrix Point Never situation wherein a shitton of people think Age of and Magic Oneohtrix Point Never are "masterpieces" in lieu of "perfectly serviceable electronic art-pop records that scratch the mid-period Arca itch without you having to bust out Arca's 2017 self-titled from the recesses of your memory (both objectivized into digital information and embodied within your brain's storage)". As a side note, Arca's 2017 album may stand as her best full-length altogether, on par with Xen, but since y'all are too busy thinking the KiCK series did anything new or interesting with it, that is clearly a conversation we are not ready for.

The right reasons to like King Crimson are, to be fair, very visible: they are in just about all of their incarnations a great band with lineups consistently featuring great musical performers, stylish wordsmiths and adequate-to-excellent singers/songwriters who produce an output exclusively comprised of records at the very least pleasantly (?) listenable and at the very best life-changing and/or history-altering. Unfortunately that exact problem makes it very easy to be overexposed to their stuff: see the borderline cult that has emerged around In the Court of the Crimson King in people who, sometimes, aren't even that interested in music per se and just sort of stumbled across it via JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Both JoJo's and In the Court I love, rationally, but it has become very hard for me to listen to that part of their discography that's already somewhat sedimented in the public consciousness because you simply hear nothing new, nothing different come out in the discussion of it - if there even is discussion left to do on the matter.

Anyway, both Swans and King Crimson suffer from the same issue to me, i.e. as I said to Dog the other night "I did not gatekeep them enough". Quite the opposite, actually: I spread them around like wildfire and linked the shit out of (what little, at the time, could be found of) their music to any and everyone and it feels absolutely wrong in retrospect. It's obvious that the high school kid who exclusively likes rock music from the '70s and believes Pink Floyd is the pinnacle of recorded history would vibe with a record like To Be Kind which essentially does nothing but weaponise those referents. And both bands' juiciest bits get ignored in favor of a couple moments which may be good or even great, but by now have become essentially sterile. "Dai diamanti non nasce niente���". Most of the bands I actually will discuss over the other parts of this series, on the other hand, have something in common: basically no one I've ever shown them too vibe with them the same way that I do, they don't feel their music deep within their heart of hearts, sometimes they don't even care to give it an actual fair shot.

A number of them also have another thing in common: they didn't immediately click, but in a way they did. When I first listened to (just to name names) Oversteps, or 13 Songs, I was like "this could be awesome" and yet never quite got to the end of the record right away. It was always closer to "eh, I'll check this out later when I'm more attentive" and yet I didn't until I very consciously brought myself to do it, smacking my head against the side of those records or maybe picking a different record from that same artist until all of a sudden I finally got it. Conscious choice makes these bands feel more rewarding. As much as I love, I don't know, the Mars Volta or Aphex Twin, I never felt that I was making an intellectual or even just conscious attempt at getting into them - and discography size doesn't count, it's not a factor as we've already previously discussed, unless it is (i.e. a band has three records out, like for instance Nirvana, whom I really like, too) - whereas it was always more of a really natural thing, as natural as putting my headphones on and vibing. Simple as.

Not all music should be a slog to get through, but by the same logic not all music should be mindless or mindlessly listened to and appreciated. And I tend to favor music that rewards multiple listens, which by nature are never gonna be always as attentive or active as they would be ideally, but it still gives you something to think of, and it's not just background noise even when you want it to be (see Coil's drone records). I will try to detail my relationship with these six bands that I have isolated, trying to stay on topic and not swerve too hard into autobiography, over the course of I suppose an entry each (worst that could happen, two bands might be crushed into the same post like what happened today, if I feel like it makes sense to do so from the standpoint of themes and length).

Re-reading the post after being done with it, I just realized both numbers 0 have one thing in common: they are, or could be seen as, almost an extended solo project of their respective de facto leaders, despite what the two of them have to say. The same could potentially be said of a couple of the bands I've mentioned up above, but I will try to prove that that is very much not the case if we don't impose a very capitalistic/brand-oriented logic that I think is fundamentally at odds with at least three of those six names. I could careen into an autobiographical story specifically about this, but I believe it'd be best kept for one of these other articles. Until then, I will be writing these when I get around to it, no pressure, no big deal.

The idea is as follows: one piece per element in the Bf set, no regular times or days for it. I do it when I want/can, or when something good comes out of me. Deal?

[larcher0001]

I watched Yes, God, Yes last week.

I liked it.

I liked all the acting and will only state my opinion on the characters themselves.

I respond out loud when I watch things by myself so for this movie, I was playing Devil's Advocate.

I'm not religious so it was funny that I of all people was going, "Alice no-! Your spirit-! Eternal Damnation-! Alice wait-!" Half-heartedly for an hour and eighteen minutes.

Laura got on my nerves. I like them as a character, but Laura was not a ride-or-die. And I wasn't loving that.

Yes. Alice lied. A real homie would ask why, or just straight up say they shouldn't do that, instead of dogging on our girl and claiming her to be a liar.

Like, when Alice said she saw Nina it wasn't even negative. It was just a fact.

Laura wanted to fit in SO BAD. Like get a life. /hj

.

All the counselors were so... Happy. It made me feel like any moment, they'd switch up and tell me I was watching a horror movie.

Even though I saw the trailer.

.

Nina was cool. Didn't leave a big impression on me except she pissed me off getting Alice in trouble, acted like everything's all fine and dandy, before messing 'wit that boy while Alice has to clean. Wasn't in love with that.

Her sob story didn't help me.

Okay. I lied. I loved Nina for like 5 minutes then she snitched on Alice and lost all my respect because I saw that one trailer and knew too much.

.

Wade was on my last nerve. Like. Leave Alice alone. She didn't ask for this.

.

The dudes that were making fun of Alice were... Indescribably obnoxious. I hated them.

H A T E D T H E M

.

Gina (Motorcycle Chick at the gay bar).

*chef's kiss*

Absolutely wonderful.

.

Chris, I liked his energy. Alice did him wrong though. We can't deny that.

Definitely my 2nd favorite.

.

That girl that wanted to go to Tokyo or something. I wish that proceeded to be Alice's friend. I adored her. They tried to paint her as weird, but I did not care. Her personality was perfect to me. They met and she instantly said, they should hang out sometime. And they should've.

Favorite character. No one can compare.

.

At the end when Chris saw Alice and tried to dive in the Art Room to hide and it was locked was the funniest thing in the movie to me.

Like, what was his plan? The Art Room was empty so if Alice wanted to do whatever Chris thought she was finna do she could just 'trap him.' (If we ignore, he's on the football time, a big strong man, and went just off will power.)

A normal reaction was to keep walking and pretend you don't see 'em.

[orowyrm]

i think it would be fun if everyone in sh2 was friends and they all hung out together :) except james. idk who that is i can’t read suddenly

[uselessgaywhovian]

top ten critical role moments!

Hoo boy! Let's see...

This conversation between Beau and Caleb. I'm not sure why, this one just lives in my heart. I loved the dynamic between Beau and Caleb most of all.

Also this conversation between Beau and Caleb. "I just put everything on the line—my own survival, all of our survival—on the line because I wanted to see you live. And all of our friends live." I just think they're neat.

Percy mic-dropping on Vex's dad. FUCK Syldor Vessar. All my homies hate Syldor Vessar.

Jester and Fjord's jellyfish conversation. God I love the emotional vulnerability inherent in taking watch together.

"I've seen you a lot." GOD I LOVE THE EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY INHERENT IN TAKING WATCH TOGETHER.

"My heart is someone else's." JUST FUCK ME UP LAURA BAILEY.

The Gem of Byroden Pageant. This was just such a fuckin' treat, i tell y'all what. idk how many times i went back and watched that.

That time when Vox Machina accidentally did some murders in "The Final Ascent". This is why I have trust issues. RIP for those auto-crits with sneak attack damage.

Keyfish. Always Keyfish.

Last but not least: The Cupcake Incident. I mean really that entire interaction with the hag, Beau being ready to sacrifice herself for Nott, Yasha being like lol no, and then Laura hitting us with the "That was sprinkled with the Dust of Deliciousness" and watching the dominoes fall from there. *chef kiss* this is the kind of buck wild D&D nonsense I came here for.

Honorable mention to the bath scene. God I love the bath scene.

[fluoresensitivearchived]

Fuck Laura Purcell, all my homies hate Laura Purcell

[glisteningreverie]

PRECURE FOR THE ASK MEME

UHHHH COOKIE RUN AND BEYOND THE Q ARE ALSO VIABLE OPTIONS

What if

All of them

blorbo:

Cure Sword, because she was in one of the first seasons I watched and she’s great. :>

Raspberry Cookie because Sword Cookie go brrrrr

Dejitaru. The fairies’ only braincell. Very important.

scrunkly:

Fuwa! She’s friend-shaped!

Pancake Cookie because he’s small and adorable and the cutest Cookie in existence.

Kaida. Dragon Babey deserves a hug.

scrimblo bimblo:

Cure Lovely! I just think she’s neat :>

Sparkling Cookie is Very Nice(TM)

Faith is pretty great, TBH.

glup shitto:

Komachi Naomi, that one character in TroPre that was Sango’s friend and then got dropped as soon as Sango became a Cure (the redhead). She’s very cute and I wish Sango had hung out with her more.

Trader Touc. Yeah. I like him a lot. I’m Very Proud of him.

Uta Mojika. She was created by @kdotan and we alluded to the club she was a part of, but I don’t think we really used her and it would be nice if she popped up again ^^

poor little meow meow:

Cure Lovely again, I guess. Her season was and still is heavily hated on and I just wanna protect Megumi from all her problems QwQ

I haven’t been in the Cookie Run fandom long enough to know if any of my favourites are highly despised 🤔 So I don’t think I have one here.

I think right now Beyond the Q is completely free of hated characters, mostly because we haven’t received any comments criticizing them. Ammeona is pretty pathetic in-universe though and I say that with all the love in my heart. Because she’s also funny.

horse plinko:

Uhhhhhhhh Blue. Heck Blue. All my homies hate Blue.

Purple Yam Cookie. Horse Plinko for Purple Yam Cookie for a million years.

Rei Mori :>

eeby deeby:

Cure Lamer because I’m petty and resent Laura for hogging the spotlight in TroPre.

Dark Enchantress Cookie because NO ONE CAN TALK TO DARK CHOCO COOKIE THE WAY SHE DID AND BE ALLOWED TO LIVE /hj

Zon. Because he’s the only one I don’t care about as much.

[thelanguageoflovers]

so you’re trying to understand sophia and i’s jatp universe

@localspacelesbian​​ and I never intended for this to get so out of hand, but then it did, so here we are. We’ve got a few wips going, so I figured it was about time to get around to one of these.

it’s okay if you’re lost, because so are we! here’s a little guide to help you out (:

CHARACTERS:

The Lacrosse Team:

Spencer Montgomery-Wright: Our pride and joy. He’s on the lacrosse team, and can be seen being bewildered with Nick when the guys show up during ‘Bright’. Some have referred to him as the guy who is called ‘Letterman Jacket Guy’ on IMDb - these people are wrong. Letterman Jacket Guy is a white blonde guy. Spencer is black. He’s in the design program at their school and designs costumes for all the ballets. 

He and Nick have been best friends since they were little, and have exchanged stuffed animals (Nick gave Spencer a stuffed penguin named Texas, and Spencer returned the favor with a stuffed elephant named Oklahoma). They’re total astronomy dorks (Spencer calls Nick ‘Tor’ after Copernicus, and Nick calls Spencer ‘Cass’ after Cassini). They’re also in love, but they’re still working through that. 

Connor Nesbitt: The aforementioned ‘Letterman Jacket Guy’. He’s the captain of the lacrosse team, the very definition of a himbo. He’s in the cinematic arts program, but, like, really likes history.

Nick Danforth-Evans: Pretty self-explanatory, but the Danforth-Evans theory is canon in the SACU (Sophia and Adalie Cinematic Universe).

Chris McMillan: Chris is a sweetheart. He’s in the theater program but wants to be a farmer and raise sheep when he grows up. He just really likes farm animals, okay?

Barry O’Hara: A good dude! He’s in the dance program, and his Special Interest is linguistics and communication.

Rasheed Bakir: Rasheed!! He’s a bit of a running joke in our work, as he constantly hurts his legs and feet. He’s been known to ride in Connor’s car with a broken ankle hanging out the window. It’s fine. He’s in the theater program, hates Shakespeare more than anything, and is dating Ari Price.

Ari Price: Just a lil visual arts program kid. Constantly so worried about Rasheed. The Ultimate mom friend; his backpack is the equivalent of Alex’s fanny pack, and he makes a very good soup when one of the guys is sick.

Leo Montgomery: He’s Spencer’s cousin! Very buff and a little bit scary but is a whole teddy bear. He’s in the music program, and is so tired of watching Nick and Spencer pine. He’s a science nerd, except for biology. Fuck biology. All his homies hate biology.

Percy Mayer: We love Percy so much. He’s a Ballet Boy, and he’s fake dating a girl in ballet named Constance Hansen. He’s probably aro, but is still a little confused about that.

Oren Summers: Oren is a freshman in the visual arts program. Kind of just one of those nice guys you meet in school who are just cool to be around.

Grayson Radcliffe: Grayson plays the french horn in the music program, and is in our token heterosexual relationship with Jennifer Brickaday.

Dirty Candi

Kayla Lavelle: Y’all know Kayla. We named her ‘Lavelle’ because we went with a color based system and, yk, lavender.

Jennifer Brickaday: Yellow Candi! Dating Grayson, and we just don’t deserve her. Brickaday is a reference to the yellow brick road.

Andrea Turkis: Miss Turquoise Candi! Probably our favorite candi - she’s a lesbian and just gives the best hugs. (Turkis means turquoise in several languages.)

Velma Williams: Orange Candi! Straight up the coolest person alive. She’s aro, and helps Percy sort out his sexuality. Just really likes dinosaurs, you know? (Williams is for William of Orange)

Mary Brooks: Not a member of Dirty Candi, but their manager. Totally not in love with Julie what are you talking about that’s bananas (Mary - marron (brown) and Brooks is just a slightly less on-the-nose version of Brown).

Those Done Dirty:

Flynn Chadwick: Chat means cat in french, but we wanted Chadwick because it sounded neat.

Willie Greenwood: He just gives us green vibes I don’t know what to tell you

The Families:

The Danforth-Evans Family: Nick, Ryan, and Chad are a given. Nick also has a little sister named Phoebe Danforth-Evans. Phoebe is a gymnast and general rascal.

The Montgomery-Wright Family: Buckle up, y’all. Spencer has seven pets. - Laura Montgomery: Mom #1. Very chill, but very protective. - Francesca ‘Franny’ Wright: Mom #2. Just the sweetest, but is willing to cause harm to a bitch if necessary. - Dog: Herbert Fitzhoover (the light of all of our lives) - Cats: Tongs, Spoon, and Spatula. They’re just like old gay men. No further comment. - Bird: Chicken the parakeet. Spencer found him at the airport and just... brought him home. - Roomba: BoBo. Very Good Boy. - Kinda Penguin: Texas (a lesbian icon, married to Oklahoma)

The Chadwick Family:  - Dad: Nico Chadwick. Just, like, a really good dad. Living the life. - Older Brother: Andrew Chadwick. Absolute nerd, away at university, drinks his respecting women juice every day. - Younger Sisters: Rachel & Eliza Chadwick. Twins - they love tormenting Flynn. - Cat: Snoopy. The love of my life.

The Wilson Family:  - Cat: Peanut!! love him

The Mercer Family: - Alex’s Younger Sister: Annabelle ‘Annie’ Mercer. Deaf, has a bright pink hearing aid. Wants to be just like her big brother (is already halfway there, being that she is wildly queer).

RUNNING AND INSIDE JOKES:

Octoslashers III: Octoslashers shows up as some form of media in every fic we write. Every single one.

Twister: Alex is a GOD at Twister, and there’s no debating this.

Rasheed’s Leg: Rasheed breaks his leg, foot, or ankle somehow in every fic. He’s trying.

The Caleb Chew-Out: Let’s just say I’m making it my mission to write a scene into every fic of ours where a character yells at Caleb, and everyone is going to get their turn. 

Oklahomas: Oklahoma and Texas are soulmates in every universe. 

questions? let me know! i’ll add the answers (:

[lozzypoz321]

Characters I want to write for but probably won’t becuase I have about 68 current wips :)

Andy Barber (he’s cool and, me and my homies hate Laura)

Ransom Drysdale (yes. I know I have before but I like him okay?) (and I have a couple requests for him aswell 👀)

Bucky Barnes (sshhhh, we can never have enough Bonky content)

CHRIS BECK (he is literal perfection, I don’t take criticism)

Eduardo Saverin (THIS MAN IS BABY, I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART) (He’s from ‘the social network’)

The Weasley Twins (🥺🤧)

Sirius Black (that man deserves all the recognition, he is so amazing like. Uwu bitch)

Diego Hargreeves (his stutter is adorable, you literally can’t disagree)

[imaginesbymk]

the walking dead

i’ve finally finished season 9, i’m not caught up because season 10 is not on netflix but at least

i got to catch up somehow

🖕🏼FUCK alpha🖕🏼all my homies hate alpha and the whisperers

judith is so cute :(

i’m soft for connie

DOG.

negan is literally that one kid that catches two teachers kissing

to magna, rosita, laura and yumiko: i am a bottom❤️

[djdeadinsects]

can’t even call laura les a “genius” without feeling guilty anymore; fuck schenker, all my homies hate schenker!

[laurakinney]

3, 20, 32!!

3.  Favourite X-Man?

why would u do this to me. WOERIFJ okay i change my answer every other day but right now its laura and scott

20.  Magic users or scientists?

dude magic users all day fuck scientists all my homies hate scientists

32. Which character has the coolest powers?

okay i think we all agree that telepathy and telekenisis r the best power, especially if its a reality warper whose powers are basically gets to do whatever they want/ whatever the story needs so i think thats kinda cheating so. i really like rictors powers theyre really cool dude imagine if anytime someone made me angry the ground started to shake? 10/10

[sandia-daze]

fuck laura ingalls wilder, all my homies hate laura ingalls wilder

[lighthousedann]

My life is public. All this eventually ends up in my "Walk With Dann Collection". Death has a lot to do with my roller coaster of emotions also. When all your medical reports read Terminal" and under treatment it reads "past conventional treatment stages" and your treatment team tells you that your time is soon..... well, try wearing those shoes. It's not an excuse, but it's a reality. Plus until I cut myself off almost all the pain medication because Fentynal and Daluidid makes you trip out emotionally also. Hence I went from 75 mg of the Fentynal to 25. The hydromorphone I am suppose to take 4mg every hour, but I take 4 mg in the morning and 4 at night. In a week I have reduced my opiate intake considerably. I plan to be totally off it by the end of next week. Drug store couldn't believe it when I came in and returned 4500 mg's of Fentynal and two hundred Dilaudid. I post everything about my life. Doesn't give anyone the right to be hating on Maria or Jennifer. I have family who have stopped speaking to me over my dating Maria. And then they claim to be Christians. Hell, buy my books and you will surely hate Jennifer, Michelle, Sandra and Laura, too. Everyone has arguments. Usually over bullshit or miscommunication. I am not a religious person. I am highly spiritual and look at all the forgiveness I have had to have towards Jennifer. Towards so many of my "good homies". Judge not lest be judged. And all my social media pages say my name at the top. Beauty of this demonic Internet is you can always not read my posts. At least I am not posting about how much I can drink, snort or smoke. I have the right to die by my rules. And I will continue to write about all my trials and tribulations - my anger, my fears, my happiness, my sadness and whatever stirs my testosterone. Show me one couple who have not been in bad arguments or minor disagreements. Those who are judging both of us should look in the mirror. Everyone should also take into consideration that many of the bullshit attacks or depressing shit I posted was written from the 'Intensive Care Unit". Again, not an excuse, but hey, I laid in that hospital for weeks and wee (at Wexford, Toronto) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwqphNzgCxpU3I-Xek5zvSjygjx4yu3KQl7XXk0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=xgdpzp6v7n99