#all my dnd knowledge is from the show so im not sure what spells a sorcerer or conjuration wizard could do

[deelovesbooks]

someone correct me if I'm wrong, but what if Adaine's visions of Fabian's birthday/election night weren't actually elven oracle related and were from Oisin/Jace to influence them to have the election at seacaster manor. sending visions seems like something a wizard or sorcerer could do right?

[valdrift]

hi its 3am and i wrote down dnd au shit that im putting under cut bc its. long

pre-canon is mostly the same with minor differences bc d&d magic at play

 jyl and jzx die but they're ok bc true resurrection baby. maybe it takes them a while to be resurrected bc, at the time, resurrection is a fairly new spell/VERY expensive (requires diamonds worth 25k gp in game)/no one was high enough level to cast the spell and also the spell is taxing on the caster/resurrection is taboo (not sure abt that one). anyways they live and raise jl :) jc is still angry but for different reasons and he's also Not As Angry and misses his brother. wwx doesn't know that jyl/jzx lived

wwx doesn't die. during the bloodbath of nightless city, he manages to destroy one half of the stygian tiger seal but before he can destroy the other, the siege on the burial mounds happens. he planeshifts to the 9 hells to escape taking the remaining half with him. such spells were completely unknown at the time and were of wwx's invention so ppl just assumed he died/killed himself. he stays in hell for 13 years (part cultivating his powers/part thinking he deserves it) before finally returning to the material plane thx to mxy

during those 13 years, ppl definitely try to reach him. BUT considering he's on another plane of existence, they often fail. communication spells like sending usually fail but Some do reach him, though he thinks he's just going crazy or it's just wishful thinking. (jyl successfully sends him a message like "a-xian? are you there? …well, wherever you are, i hope you're ok. i miss you. i love you. we all do. please come back." and wwx thinks it isn't real. he DEFINITELY cries when he finds out it actually was real and he wasn't losing his mind in hell)

REGARDING WWX'S POWERS: no one has done it like him!! forming a pact with a fiend was practically unheard of/extremely taboo and the fact that he managed to outgrow his patron in terms of power (lvl 20 baby) is something in of itself. wwx is like The First Warlock Ever and after his "death" many others tried to follow in his footsteps, however no one came even close in terms of power. xy maybe but fuck that guy lol

MXY LIVES!!! bc of reasons he manages to get his hands on a deck of many things from the jin vault (perhaps nhs had a hand in it :eyes:) and draws a wish card on the first try (Very Lucky). he uses that card to essentially wish a pact with the yiling patriarch into existence and over in hell wwx is like "hey wtf is going on" and pops into mxy's shed to see what's up

wq also lives!! jgs covered up her death and wn and her bust out of jinlintai when wwx calls

CURRENT-CANON:

mxy and wwx have a patron/ward relationship. wwx Knows he's not like his own patron and has no desire for mxy's soul or w/e so he's just "yea fine i guess i'll be your evil teacher :/"

wtf is wwx's patron anyway lol…..maybe it's a demon/fiendish entity that resided in the burial mounds that wwx formed a pact with to survive. it probably hangs out on another plane of existence and was partly responsible for his deteriorating mental state.

at mo manor, the mo family dies without mxy or wwx rlly having to do anything. mxy uses his fledgling warlock skills to help out the lan juniors with the arm. lwj shows up after and wwx's like AH FUCK and dips with mxy following after him

wwx uses mask of many faces to disguise himself in his humansona (bc like. he's a tiefling and also very recognizable, being the yiling patriarch and all no biggie) and has bonding moments with mxy. mxy realizes that wwx is not actually evil incarnate; he's actually a fucking dumbass ESPECIALLY when the man starts talking about lwj. (idk how this plays in but I want wwx to complain abt lwj like "i used to be taller than him, now we're the same height?? bullshit >:(" bc i am spreading my short lwj propaganda)

mxy and wwx run into jl at some point. wwx is like :'( when he finds out who it is, jl is a baby homophobe and mxy is like I Will Tell Your Mother to which wwx goes WHAT. BACK UP bc surprise, jyl's actually alive! while he's reeling with this information, mxy drags him away

at dafan mountain, mxy and wwx help out the juniors with the goddess statue. wwx summons wn and jc is like HEY WAIT A SECOND. he goes to hit wwx with zidian (still has the ability to knock possessive spirits but it also has dispel magic, not good for wwx's disguise!) however mxy deflects it with *fjord critical role voice* Eldritch Blast earning lwj's respect. anyways lwj takes both mxy and wwx back to the cloud recesses; mxy doesn't see what's the big deal, wwx is freaking out and Desperately wants to planeshift out of there but he has a ward now and disappearing like that would mean the jigs up considering no one else can planeshift

at the cloud recesses, mxy ditches wwx with lwj so the two can have a Talk to go chill. lwj is like "wei ying drop the humansona i know it's you" and wwx goes :O well. after, mxy comes back and is like "ok so here's the deal with the arm" and spills what he knows abt jgy and what he did and the 3 of them head off to get evidence

I Do Not Remember much of their whole like journey to piece nmj's body back together but it'd probably go much faster with mxy alive and knowledgeable to jgy's shit

wangxian are still gay and stupid

idk abt yi city but songxiao and a-qing get a better ending and xy eats shit

there will def be a yunmeng sib reunion.

POST-CANON:

pulling a page from cql, lwj is chief cultivator but only so he can like. actually do some good then once he's done dismantles the position or smth so he can live out his house husband dreams with wwx

wwx still goes on that journey so he can relearn what it's like to be a person in society and not someone hated and demonized. also he lived in literal hell for 13 years, dude needs time to process that. but u KNOW when he comes back, he's eloping with lwj

with all the pieces of nmj's body back together, nhs true resurrects him :)

NOTES:

wen clan are a mix of tiefling and human, with direct members being tiefling

lsz and ljy are human, jl is half-elf (half-triton), and ozz is a tabaxi (catboy rights!!)

wwx definitely used mask of many faces to entertain a-yuan in the burial mounds by disguising himself as whoever a-yuan asked. (disguises himself as lwj at their dinner date bc a-yuan said so and lwj is like Fuck…….He Would Make Such A Good Father…………)

[bluejaytaco]

Jay plays DND Part...4?

(Losing track of how many of these were done. Also, this one’s hella long)

So, recent session was Art at his finest.

We are now up to a part with two generals. One of them is Art’s sister, Rieta (Known as General Pink). Her mind is completely broken to the point of making her basically a beast-like berserker. The second general is Orange, who Art has taken to calling “General Fedora.” He is the definition of a neckbeard mixed with r/iamverysmart.

But his ability is to take the will away from opponents and control them like puppets. And, when Art tried to get Rieta away from him, Orange showed off said abilities. By taking control of Art, Theodora(Paladin and Team leader) and Hennessy(Wizard.) We had to attack Koejin(Ranger) and our new barbarian gnome, Wreybar, then roll to see if we could break the spell. This is how it went down:

Me: So, I’m gonna cast Vicious Mockery.

DM, knowing me too well: You remember the rule for that, right?

Me(Agreed that I have to insult for real to use it:) Yeah, I know...

DM: Go ahead then.

Me: I look at Koejin and say, “Hey, Drunkie. You gonna attack or just stand there looking stupid?”

Koejin’s player: Woooooow...... Not gonna lie, that stings a little.

DM: Watch Art snap out of the spell and go “Hey Drunkie, fuck you.... I’m sorry....”

(He didn’t snap out of it. Hennessy did after Koejin cast Fog cloud so we couldn’t see.)

Hennessy: Okay, I’m going to cast Charm person on Theodora and Art.

Theodora’s roll: *Passes*

My Roll: *Fails*

DM: Okay, so Theodora just brushes it off. Art now has two controlling spells fighting in his head. He wants to listen to Orange and fight you, but also really doesn’t want to hurt Hennessy because of the charm. So there’s a back and forth where he is extremely conflicted. Then Art feels a burn from Ticket Master’s ring on his finger and he passes out.

Me: So Ticket Master just kinda goes “Sleep.”

DM: Pretty much.

Art, in game: Alright, imma head out... *passes out face first in the dirt*

Theodora rolls and breaks free from the spell on the following turn. In this time, Koejin had followed a mysterious figure out of the fog to where Orange was trying to run off with Pink in tow. (Sidenote: Pink had been ordered to attack us and Meatball, a giant t-rex who we befriended, had stepped in the way. Meatball has the sigil of the BBEG on his leg.)

When he sees we’ve broken the spell, he tries to sic Pink on them again but she runs off into the woods. Art woke up shortly after, demanded to know where his sister was then tried to take off after her. (He was stopped by the mystery person.)

Me: Alright so, being that Art can’t follow Rieta, he turns and storms up to Orange. 

DM, knowing Art is weak as shit physically: Does he attack him?

Me: Of course not. He grabs him and goes “Listen here, you little shit. You’re going to give us the fucking stone or we’re gonna beat it out of you.”

DM: Roll for intimidation.

Art: *Hella intimidating with a 17*

DM: Alright, so Orange is shaking as Art grabs him by the shirt and kinda shakes him a little. He puts his hands up and goes “I couldn’t if I wanted to! The stone’s in my head!”

Art: We could fix that. 

Everyone readying their weapons behind Art.

Koejin: Nothing a little surgery can’t handle.

As we’re all discussing how to best take care of this, there’s a buzz in Theodora’s pocket. It’s the future leader of Acentria saying “Remember: don’t kill anyone!”

Theodora: Ah, shit... Guys... we can’t do this.

Everyone else: *sputtering different words of disappointment because we’re all children of chaotic stupid*

Hennessy then charmed Orange into telling us how the stone got in in the first place. Orange says he doesn’t know, just one day he was asked if he wanted to be a general. I said “okay” then I woke up with a stone in my head.

Art: Maybe... if we take him to Thia (The future leader) we can use her stone to pull out this one... like a magnet.

Orange: You can do whatever you want, just keep that thing away from me. *points at Wreybar.* Gnomes freak me out. That’s why I had Pink destroy the village.

Wreybar: You’re the face I saw in the flames! I thought I recognized you! You’re dead! *goes to attack but is stopped by our new mystery ally* Let me at ‘im!

Orange: No... Pink wanted to do it. Cuz gnomes are so gross...

Art: First of all, racist. Secondly, whaaaaaaaaaat???

Orange: she’s a bloodthirty monster. She wanted to kill them.

Art: Uhhhh, no. Not true. Nope. (Super denial about his sister being a murderhobo)

So, then we start discussing how to get everyone and a t-rex back to the bar where Thia is currently stationed.

Theodora: If Green were here, we could teleport...

Art:...... well, we do know.... someone else.... who can teleport...

Everyone turned to Art. It took them all a moment to realize who he was talking about before out came a collective groan.

Koejin: Didn’t we all agree we wouldn’t trust him?

Art, still hella thirsty for the D: No.

Koejin: No. We’re not asking Ticket Master.

DM: Once Koejin says the name, Ticket Master appears with a boom box on his shoulder and says “did someone say my name?”

Koejin and Theodora both start talking about this “Website that rips people off” to which Art just kinda looks at them in confusion and goes “what’s a website?” I imagine someone pushed him back so he wasn’t really heard.

We continued to discuss different ways to get everyone back to Thia. The train is mentioned once but we can’t get meatball onto the train. Ticket Master speaks up again only to get Koejin’s hand in his face as we talk. The idea them comes from out Mystery friend.

General Green can be used to teleport, but he’s a lich who feeds off knowledge. If someone was willing to give up their intelligence temporarily, he could get us back and forth then return to “death” shortly after.

Art:...I’ll do it.

Everyone else: *Ignoring him to talk about how no one wants to do it*

DM, the only one who heard him: Didn’t Art just say he would?

Art: Yeah. I mean, why not? He’ll have all my knowledge right?

DM: Yep.

Art: And he’s a genius. Which means he could connect dots I haven’t been able to. So, hook me up.

DM: Mystery woman pulls out one of Green’s threads and snaps it into the back of Art’s head. You are down to -2 on intelligence and Art is a bumbling idiot.

Art: *just kinda staring off into space*...*Sees Green when he appears* you look tired.

Green, who just wants to die: Yeah.

Art:...you should take a nap.

Green: What’s going on? Why’s Art a- *notices the thread* oh.

Everyone catches Green up on the situation and Art tries to help in the most unhelpful way possible. Green then opens a portal for everyone which is much clearer than it was the last time we used a portal.

Hennessy: ...wow, Art, you are really smart....

Art:...there was a dog... dogwoof.

(This part was hard because I wanted to actually help but the DM kept having to remind me Art was pretty much useless so I had to struggle with words and just be stupid.)

Right before we were all supposed to leave (because BBEG was on her way) Hennessy took the opportunity to whisk his NPC boyfriend into the shop in order to propose, which also ended in Hennessy getting laid. Koejin was pissed they were wasting time.

DM: Everyone outside can hear Vincent’s moaning.

Art: Why is he hurting that poor man?!

Koejin, still pissed off: Yeah, Art. This isn’t right that he’s doing this. We should leave him!

Art: Yeah, he seems mean :(! *makes no attempt to go near the portal*

Koejin’s player: Jay has been waiting for this opportunity to make Art a fucking idiot.

Me: Damn right!

So everyone walks through the portal and appears right in front of the bar. Once we all walk through the portal, Green flicks Art in the forehead and disconnects, which kills him instantly. Art then has a headache and now has a disadvantage on intelligence rolls for the foreseeable future.

Thia’s already outside of the bar, talking to people about her plans to change the world. We approach her with Orange and tell her the situation.

Thia, happy to see a living general: You’re actually not killing people!

Theodora: We’ve been trying not to!

Hennessy: Yeah, we have saved more than we killed!

Art: *counting the bodies and deciding it’s probably best to keep his mouth shut*

Thia puts the stone to Orange’s head and, for a moment, nothing happens. Then, it bursts out of his skull, splattering brain matter all over and gets absorbed into Thia’s stone.

Thia, shocked: .....I just killed that guy....

Art: No, No you didn’t. It was the stone, you had no control-

Orange, clearly not all there:... what’re you guys talking about....? I...I feel fine...

Art: He’s still alive!

Thia: Can you really call that living?!

Art: uhhhh, sure!

Thia:... we should get him healed. Everyone, come in. We can talk about everything inside.

So, we all head to the bar where Meatball is being put up right on the side. Koejin, who had a drink that gave her truesight, saw that Meatball is actually a dragonborn named Eltbalm; the lover of BBEG (Mrs. Red) Koejin has the hots for Eltbalm so she decides to hang out with him.(He’s still unconscious)

Art: But...it’s a bar.... also, sorry about that “Drunkie” comment before. I didn’t mean it.

Koejin: Yeah you did.

Art:... No, but-

Theodora, throwing her arm around Art’s shoulder: Art, Art, Art, Art.... Shut the fuck up.

Art and the others go into the bar, leaving Koejin. In a previous session, we saved a bunch of kids from Green’s spire and now they spend most of their time at the bar, where Meatball was watching them. When they see him, they all run up to hug him and cry around him.

DM: Koejin, you notice one child is missing.

Me:.... is it the tiefling boy?

DM: It is the tiefling boy.

Koejin, to one of the kids: Hey, where’s your little tiefling friend?

The kid: His mom came to pick him up.

Koejin:... uh... guys?!?! 

A message is sent between Koejin and Alabaster to relay the information. Art, hearing that “mom” picked up this supposed orphan child, immediately flips out on the bartender that let him leave with her and demands to know how long ago she came. He bolts for the door.

DM: When Art goes to run out the door, he runs into someone’s chest. It’s Ticket Master.

Art: Shit... Hi.

Ticket Master: Oh, hello! You guys kinda left without me!

Art: Right, yeah. Did you see a tiefling go through here?

Ticket Master: You mean your sister? Yes! I brought her here since you missed her.

Art: *trying so hard to process the feelings going through him* Did you see... where she went?

Ticket Master: Yes, she went that way. *arrows appear to point in every direction*

Art: Wow, you’re useless!... (Hennessy: Is this what marriage is gonna be like?!) Is there anyway for you to tell me where she went.

Ticket Master: Sure! But I need something...

Art: Okay?

Ticket Master: From her. *points at Koejin*

Art, suddenly very tense: ...Why her?

Ticket Master: Because I’ve already gotten everything I’ve wanted out of you.

Art:....fucker....

Ticket Master, ignoring Art: So, Koejin...?

Koejin:.... I want you.... to leave.

Ticket Master:...*shrugs* Okay. *Just walks away*

Art, in his head: yeah, that’s not gonna come back to bite us.

Koejin is then reminded of the fact that she has tracking skills and a bloodhawk(named Pirate) for situations just like this. She seems slightly... put off by the idea.

Koejin: I’m not risking Pirate safety.

Art: Pirate can fly. Rieta can’t. He’ll be fine.

Koejin: Right... Pirate, look for General Pink and the kid. But keep your distance.

DM: Pirate flies onto Art’s shoulder, rips out a piece of his hair and eats it. Then, he flies off and searches the area until he lands on the roof of a small house in the woods. He perches there and caws loudly.

We all ran into the woods to the house to find it was boarded up. None of the panels were missing so it wasn’t a break in. We all think of the best way to do this.

Koejin: Someone could go in there.

Art: I could sneak in. My stealth is pretty high.

Koejin: Yeah... should let the stealthy tiefling go in... I’m gonna come too. I’m pretty stealthy.

(Koejin and Art are now Stealth Buddies.)

DM: So, you sneak in and it’s dark. Koejin, you can see shadows and movement. Art, you see Pink standing over a body. She has something dripping from her mouth.

Art, stunned, uses sending so they don’t make a noise: So, don’t freak out.... but I think Rieta killed a kid....

Koejin, message back:.... cooooool.... so, what do we do?

Art: *just staring at the situation*

DM: Neither of you smell blood so there’s that.

Koejin’s player: I wouldn’t even know what blood smells like right off the bat.

Me and the DM, in unison: Koejin would.

Koejin’s player: Right. *laughs* Art’s hand.

Koejin moved for a chair to get closer and hide behind. Art, being the beautiful suicidal dumbass he is, goes the opposite direction to get to the other side of Pink.

DM: Koejin, you slip over to the chair without making a sound. Art, when you take a step, your foot lands on a board that creaks and gives you away. Pink snaps around to look at you. She is frothing; the kid is still alive and fine. She hasn’t done anything yet.

Art:... Hi, Rieta...

DM: When he sees Art, the kid calls out “Help me!” Pink grabs hold of the boy by the hair and lifts him off the floor.

Art: Nonononononononono.... Don’t do this. You don’t have to do this.

Koejin: *readies her bow from her position behind the chair, aimed for Pink’s wrist*

DM: All of you feel a sudden heat. Moments later, the door blows off it’s hinges and it’s Mrs. Red. She is pissed. She glares at Pink and yells “You killed my love.” Koejin, because of the truesight potion, you see Red’s face is that of a red dragon. Mrs. Red is a red dragon.

Koejin’s player: Oh shit!

DM: And we’ll end there for this week.

(This game is getting insane. Also, if you got all the way through this, thank you! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. There’s a lot of stuff left out from this just because it was already getting super long.)

[pigfartsitsonmars]

The End of an Era

I will start off by saying this is going to be a very long blog post #sorrynotsorry. Today is the final day of #Sourcefed, #Sourcefednerd and various other shows on the channels. I am so sad to see it go. I subscribed within the first week and have been watching ever since. You go through fazes over the years and sourcefed was a pretty strong force in my life for many years. They made me laugh, they made me cry, and most important they gave me people to look up to and admire when i was younger. Being almost 25 now i’ve grown with a lot of the hosts over the years and i don’t regret a single moment of it.

Now to write about how each host changed my life and some of my favorite memories. To this day and continuing on i will watch and re-watch all of my favorite episodes forever. (That’s the great thing about the internet)

Joe Bereta: When you started (and kinda throughout) you were labeled the jock of the group because of how athletic you are (which is mind blowing) but you were always so much more then that to me at least. I originally saw you on Barets and Beretta and since then i was smitten. You are incredibly funny and charming, and oh so handsome *wink*. You have this amazing gift to make people laugh and a work ethic i hope to one day achieve. When you left originally i was very sad. I still to this day miss seeing your face on my computer screen filling my days with joy. Some of my favorite memories are your many stories on the horrific ways you should have died (The canada story is my favorite) and the amazing relationship you had with all the hosts (especially the holy trinity of you Elliott and Lee) I love the work you are doing now and I know so much greatness will come to you. 

Elliott Morgan: You have an amazing gift that no one else can match, your comitic timing is amazing, you are incredibly smart and witty and you are so damn perfect it makes my head hurt. I cried so hard during your last episode of comcom because i was so genuinely sad to see you go. However i still love your personal channel and I love the podcast with Lee (Oh and cant forget the excitement i had seeing you both on lipsync battles) I just wanted you to know how incredible you truly are. You may think that when you started everyone hated you but i loved you. (p.s. i’m single...your single. hit me up lol kidding) I am so excited to continue to watch your journey through life cause i know you are going to do such amazing and creative things. One of my all time favorite moments on sourcefed of you was the BooBee’s joke (don’t know why but it still makes me laugh) or your story with the detergent. both amazing and weird moments but perfect none the less.

Lee Newton: You are one of my biggest inspirations in life, you prove to the world that you are here to take change. There was not a lot of girls that looked like me when i was younger and then you came around and blew me away. Your beautiful you are so incredibly funny (and you influenced my jokes and proved that women can be just as funny or funnier then the men) When you left a small part of my heart went with you. But i know that it was the best move for you and now you can concour the world and take names while you do it. I just want to thank you so much for everything you have brought to my life and helping mold me into the person that i am today. I love you Lee. And good luck with the wedding (I loved the invitations). My favorite sourcefed moment with you would honestly be any truth or dare and i love your mad hatter and wrestler characters.

Steve Zaragoza: You are so wacky and crazy and just such a joy on the world. The knowledge and enthusiasm for all things nerd (especially the movies) is amazing. You bring just a joy and light to this world and i am really going to miss all of your dick and fart jokes. I know i will see you on other things but not seeing you in that building is going to be so hard. but i know that you are just going to take the world by storm weather the world wants it or not. My classic steve memory will always have to be “what is that a coffee machine” I know its not original but it is classic. Or of course Ben Franklin Time Traveler.

Trisha Hershburger: You are gorgeous and amazing and had a baby like 2 seconds ago and look like when you first started on sourcefed (which is incredible to me) You proved it was okay to be a nerd and a geek as a woman and i thank you for that. You brought a structure in the beginning which i think is super important especially at the beginning where you were all just trying to figure things out. I have loved seeing you thrive outside of sourcefed (as hard as it was to see you go) and see you meeting your dreams you always wanted to concur. Your little boy is amazingly cute (but who wouldn't have guessed that that was going to happen) and i’m just excited to see where life takes you. My favorite Trish moments were when you were on table talk and my favorite saying has to be the “no no” I use that on the daily and have for years now because of you.

Meg Turney: You are such a firecracker that brought so much love and knowledge to sourcefed. You introduced me to tons of anime i may not have ever seen before and gave light to the amazing-ness of cosplay and knowing that its okay to be your weird self. After seeing you i dyed my hair red and wanted nothing more then to be like you. When you left it was a different feeling for me then the others leaving simply because i knew you were going to Rooster Teeth and i would get to see you again and somehow being even more awesome as if that was possiable. My favorite memory involves you and Joe at the very end of a table talk when you and Gav were still in the early days Joe informed you on how #turnfree was not your ship name but that is #Gaeg or #Gag however he wished to spell it im not sure, however it made me laugh so hard and now i cant refer to y’alls relationship as #turnfree. And even though you left Rooster Teeth as well (which i a whole other blog post) I still will continue to follow and love you and perv out on your modeling pictures.

Ross Everett: You got shit on so much when you worked for sourcefed but i think that was so unfair of people to do to you cause you are very funny and creative. You brought a very different energy to the group that i think was needed and you are amazing. My favorite memory is the joke of you dating trisha’s baby and it made me smile so hard in the last table talk to see you finally see her baby. I also loved your periscopes.

Sam Bashor: You are the cutest little dork in the entire world. I feel like i grew up with you being similar ages and i loved watching you grow from a young little boy in a bow tie being the sweetest little guy in the entire world to this man that is so incredible and funny. You made it okay to be so into nerdy things and for that i thank you. I cant wait to see where this world will take you cause i know you will only do amazing things with your gifts. My favorite memory has to be any time you are with Maude (duh) and of course Sam chats and Sam has a point on the podcast. (And the Smaude kiss.....DAYUM)

Will Haynes: Like Sam i watched you grow up from this awkward little boy to afraid to be himself and grow up into  someone who simply doesn’t give a fuck and has been truly incredible comedian. You finally found yourself which is amazing and i’m so happy to see this side of you. I have loved seeing your fazes and seeing the other more senior comedians helping morph you into the person you are today. I cant wait to see what you do next.

Matt Leiberman: You brought something very different to the group, you were not afraid to be yourself and unashamed of who you were. You were an amazing host and incredible cook (which i always made the mistake of watching when i was hungry) and you are just such a sweet man who wants the best for people. You and your girlfriend are the cutest and i’m excited to see what comes next in your life.

Maude Garrett: You brought a new light to the new gen of Sourcefed Nerd. You are unbelievably stunning and amazing and so apologetically nerdy. I was never really into DnD until i saw you as the mauderator and you showed me a great and fun way to enjoy DnD, I’ve missed seeing you regularly on the channel but i know that one day you will take over this world and we will see nothing but you. Because you are simply that powerful and amazing. (Sidenote: The Smaude kiss at 1,000,000 was to

Steven Suptic: You are probably one of the weirdest people on this planet in the best way possible. We have very similar senses of humor and dont mind being the butt of the joke sometimes. You are one of the only people i think that would openly piss there own pants in a serious moment just for the giggle (i’m going to pretend it was on purpose in the last table talk) I loved you on Super Panic Frenzy with Reina and the podcast was the best. I know you will do great things with your channel and now you can do more stuff with the Mindcrackers on the plus side.

Whitney Moore: You are just the most beautiful little pixie i think i have ever seen. You are so goofy and funny and quickly became one of my new favorite hosts. You have a corky edge to you and yet somehow so very cool at the same time. I love your sense of humor and i just think you are incredible. I know that this will only be a stepping stone in your life and i’m interested to see what is next for you.

Bree Essrig: You I have been watching for the longest back in the old days of youtube seeing you with Shane Dawson and Steve Greene, you have always been able to put a smile on my face with the different characters you play. You are not afraid to be “one of the boys” for lack of a better phrase and you were someone i looked up too when i was a young teenager just trying to figure myself out. Then you moved to pop trigger which you were amazing on you had me in stitches anytime you were on, and then when you got hired to Sourcefed I was so giddy because I had followed you for so long and just watching you change and grow over these years has just been a blast. I can’t wait to see what weird shit you and Steve decide to make cause you are really the best comedic couple and i’m sure whatever you do it will be amazing.

Mike Falzone: You like Bree i have been watching for years I believe since around 2007 i believe which is crazy to think. Your stand up is amazing you have such a cool air to you (even when you are geeking so hard about Wrestling) and you are unbelievably talented. And on top of that being an incredible musician it is unfair how talented you are and you are just going to keep growing and growing and doing bigger and badder things all the time. My favorite memories is just seeing you riff off of Steve and Elliott the three of you is just comedy gold.

Ava Gordy: I may not have known you for as long as some of the other hosts however your impact was still just as grand. You seems like such a sweet and compassionate person who really cared for those around you and still did everything in just such a funny way. I will admit i haven't seen every video you have been in but now i have time to go back and look at all of them and i’m pumped because you are incredible and just deserve the best in life. And I loved you in the people be like episode about Netflix and Chill

Candace Carrizales: You also I have may not have known as long as the others but you can keep up with them just as well. Its hard being the youngest sometimes but you didn’t let it stop you.My favorite video has to be your two truths and a lie with Steve and i bought one of those ginger drinks after just cause i was curious and you were completely right. You are a delight and brought some more fun energy to the gang. I like your don’t give a fuck attitude and you are just gonna continue to grow and be amazing

And lastly

Dani Rosenberg: I couldn’t not mention to you in all of this you have been the rock in all of this and keeping people from destroying everything. Not only do you keep Phils shit together but then you deal with all the people at Sourcefed and Sourcefednerd which i am sure is almost an impossible task. You have been a strong force behind all of this and i don’t think you get the credit you deserve you are amazing and beautiful and one of the most bad ass people on this whole planet. thank you for being you. And may i just say whenever i saw you in a thumbnail for table talk i have never clicked harder and faster then in those moments. 

Final thoughts... One i’m sure the last 3ish hours i spent free handing this at work was well spent. I am going to miss these channels and people so very much and i cant tank each and every one of them enough. I love you all from the bottom of my heart and i hope to see you do the incredible things i know you are capable of. Good luck in future indevers and i will still go back every day and re watch the old videos cause they are still hilarious and can make me smile at the drop of a hat. thank you. also if my grammar sucked i apologize 2 hours of sleep and just writing as i went along.

[hdawg1995]

DnD Antics: the tree spirit dies at midnight...

so today was fun! quick summary (not everything but like the major/funny bits)

the necromancer got drunk, Ranger’s animals arn’t happy, and the one time the bard doesnt do an arcane knowledge check...and other things happen!

so yeah! hydra had a mate...with 30 heads...  DM: you see shiny things at the bottom of the deeper part of the lake. shafeek: imma go down there Ryan (spine): im going with him! ryan (frost): same envoy: DON’T DIE! frost: NO PROMISES!

they find the remains of one of the DM’s former games; “they were a joke campaign but kinda not. they once made a bucket and enchanted it to summon fried chicken. they gave it to a king in order to gain his favor.” the party consisted of bacon bits the wizard (blue star cloak+hat and staff) a nameless knight (plate mail, 2 bags of holding, long sword) a bard named bard marly (black turtle neck, a beret, bongos and 2 daggers) a rouge who juts so happened to be named mcgiee (fishface family cloak-PURELY because of the concordance- 2 daggers) and a witcher (2 legendary swords). 

being the bard i got all the old bard’s stuff... which was cursed...

DM: you have to speak in a french accent me: i can’t DO a french accent D: imma just do remove curse. DM: do what? me: remove cu- oh fight me... linsy: sure you can! just add a Z to everything! me: *makes at least 10 attempts. resorts to just head nods.*

we get everyone out before the hydra’s mate wakes up. meanwhile the bear is very upset about being dropped like a potato nuke on the hydra, the griffion is scared of the bear, and the poor spider is so scared shes hugging onto Vale for dear life. she goes full blown face hugger at one point the poor thing is so scared.

me: *attempts a french accent again*....zhe at is curewsed. DM: *losing it* ryans: *knee slapping laughing*

we get the rod and take the path out of the maze. also Spine found some lake moss which was near the hydra nest which Nazul ALMOST STOLE AN EGG FROM (you guys don’t know this, but during our first inconuter kinda spine and the samurai went missing due to spelunking in a cave full of spider eggs. spine and nazul basically recreated a under water version of these events).

rolls a nat 1 while trying to make it a lazy boy chair. sets my house on fire.

envoy: YOU ARUE ZHE GROUHNDAD, ZPINE! spine: but- envoy: FIX YAT! spine: how- envoy: YOUR ZOOR? ZE GONE! 

it gets fixed and spine helps but he is still grounded. his door is just s sticker in the house to let people know where his room is but yeah. no door.

envoy: *uses remove curse* hat: hon hon hon you fool! zhere is but won way to remove me! me: ZEIPLOMACY! hat: to remove ze naughty beret, you must hit ze two headed monkey ze proper way. me: two headed monkey? linsy: do we have to punch Tim in the nuts?

envoy gets a nat 20 on playing the bongos and the hat falls off. arcane check shows that who ever wears the hat can cast a 6 level bard spell (even if they arn’t a bard).

envoy has a snow ball fight with gnome children. it is glorious. they built a fort. the yak made a snowball bigger than the gnome houses. anyone that dared to talk with the bard (or in spine’s case just happen to be in rage) was pelted with snowballs.

vale: envo- *snowball misses her*... Envoy can you do a arcane check for me? envoy: sure! *checks* your hydra bone arrows, when you fire them, turn into TWO arrows. vale: thanks! *throws a snowball at envoy. leaves* envoy: *THUMBS UP!*

spine uses word of recall after frost crystal used it to go find a new pet with the ranger. he goes back to see our friends sperlock hobbles and plotson! he also gets drunk... i repeat- the necromancer got drunk.

spine: PLOTSSSON! howsss the town doing ssshow me around! *note: ryan is swinging his arms around* DM: he takes you out of the office and shows you the town. Spine: wait i... i forgot my clock. *hugs cloak* need my clock. DM: you put your cloak on and he shows you the town. roll reflex. ryan (spine): *fails* DM: your coin purse is stolen. Spine: PLOTSSON! THERE THEY! *falls over* ryan (spine): i scry my hand to see where my gold is. Spine: *holding the bottle of liqure and using it to see his gold in the reflexion* where is dissss?

they eventually find who stole it. the halfling child who survived the accidental slaughter of her faimly at the hands of Spine and the witcher. Spine sees her and casts a grabby demon hand spell.

Spine: don-t... sorry she is alive jussst captured *toung thing snakes do* splotson: and how do you know that? spine:...MAGIC EYES! *hes not lying* splotson: go home Spine you’re drunk Spine: but my gold. splotson: go home you’re drunk Spine: but my gold. splotson: Spine. spine: i wanna talk to her. splotson: i don’t think i want you to talk to her. Spine: but i wanna. someone steal’s Spine’s backpack and Splotston runs after them. Spine get to where the halfling is and it turns out it was a dummy, but there is a decoder device. rolls a nat 1.

DM: you speak into it. “hello?” “hello.” “who is this?” “who is this?” “Spine” “who is spine?” “who IS Spine?” roll to be interstitial. Ryan (spine): *fails* DM: you are now having a existential crisis.

mean while more snowball fights. Envoy has in listened the children into pelting the witcher. also she plays a song that makes it rain snowballs.

Frost crystal and Vale go on a hunt with a giant wolf pack! (well the wolves are giant, the pack is just the mommy and 3 pups) they track a dire moose but it was killed by a frost giant which SUCKED cause now they have to fight the giant and they break it’s legs and cut its hand off and it flails and kills the mamma :( vale is saved by The Hunt and it’s divine intervention, one of the pups saved Frost crystal and is now her new pet.

elizander: Envoy, could you make a planter for me in the pokeball? Envoy, atop the yak:.....BEAT ME IN A SNOWBALL FIGHT AND WE’LL THINK ABOUT IT! elizander: *pelts envoy with snowballs, knocking her off the yak* HA! envoy: *nat 20 on a snowball. hits eli in the face and knocks him down* Nazul: *shadow teleports and buries Eli in snow. DM: you start to feel the affects of the snowballs. its very very cold.

Zack’s wife informs him that she is pregnant. he also admits that he touched the hag’s butt so shes not happy.

envoy: *throws snowball at zack* Zack: *catches it. throws it on the ground* envoy: you suck at fun, your kid is gonna be so bored.

vale and frost are off on their own adventure, so is tim and his wife. Spine was told to go home cause he was drunk so he went home.... to the swamp... so Envoy, Nazul, and Elizander go on an adventure!

Nazul: we should play a game. i spy with my little eye- envoy: *throws snowball at elizander* elizander: *throws snowball at envoy who ducks and it hits Nazul.* Nazul: *nat 20 on a tackle and pelts eli with snow* yak: *buries them both in snow. starts rolling giant snowball with Witcher and ghost boy inside*

envoy learned a song that summons snowballs from the sky

also the witcher and Zack met a very gay and very flamboyant saitr. he had kidnapped them and taken them to the fay wild. i left the table at this bit so i don’t know how they got away. all i know is the satir really really really liked the witcher.

frost got a wolf, spine was teleported back via death.

Spine: *summons litch* hey do you have anything that can get me from here to the gnome city? litch (tiffiny): yeah but you’re not gonna like it. Spine: why? *dies* spine: *clawing his way out of a shallow grave in the gnome city* NOPE. I DID NOT LIKE THAT.

envoy: *flying through the sky on a yak* Spine: *flys up* HI MINION! envoy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

nazul: *enters center of market* ANYONE KNOW WHERE THE BLACK MARKET IS? random gnome: what the FUCK are you doing? shut up! gnome police: *shows up* who was yelling about the black market? nazul: him *points to gnome* gnome: *is dragged away kicking and screaming* DM: the only person who could have showed you where the black market is is now being dragged to prison.... shafeek: breaking out of jail is easssssy!

they bust the gnome out and he tells him how to get there. Nazul then kills him.

spine... is hella shady. he gets into the black market and gets a tree spirit and a black sapphire. its midnight as he flies back to the grave yard to murder the tree spirit and imprisions the soul into the gem. he then drops the gem+tree spirit = death seed into his necropolisp. he now has stronger zombies and the ones that needed to regenerate due to the nuke will regen 4X faster.

at this point i had to go home, so there was probably 1-2 hours more of antics

see you next week!