#all laterally next to each other. one after the other. in a row. don't question it

[ren-the-pen]

This one's just kind of a love letter to my past self since I was reminiscing today. One of my very first characters ever--lore in tags.

[eufezco]

HOW DID IT END?

How is it that Steve's departure only drove you further apart? How was it possible that the only thing left between you after all was hatred for each other? Maybe these questions could be answered in a therapy session or in a night together.

bucky x fem!reader (angst, smut with plot, lovers to enemies to lovers) + no use of y/n. english isn't my first language (!)

—James, condition of your release, session now.

You looked at Bucky and he looked back at you, pressing his lips together and starting to walk after his therapist, annoyed.

—You too, young lady.

—That's okay, I can wait here with Sam.

—It wasn't a request. Sam, you have front-row seats for the show if you like—. The demanding tone in her voice surprised you and you had no choice but to follow her.

The therapist sat down at the table and opened her notebook. You and Bucky were at the other side of the table, sitting next to each other and in front of the woman. You didn't look at each other, you had not even shared a word. Sam, who was leaning against the wall behind the therapist, looked at both of you and shook his head. Steve was right when he said that you were both equally stubborn.

—So, who would like to start?

—I don't even know what I'm doing here. This is ridiculous.

—Yeah, I agree —. Bucky added.

—See? Making progress already —. She waited a few seconds to see if either of you would like to talk but you and Bucky remained silent. Dr. Raynor sighed, if it was already difficult to deal with him alone, it would be twice as difficult to deal not only with Bucky but also with a copy of him as a woman. —It is my job to make sure you're okay. And yeah, this may be slightly unprofessional but it's the only way that I can see if you're getting over whatever's eating at you.

You huffed a laugh and Bucky rolled his eyes. Whatever's eating at you? What could possibly be eating at you? There was nothing that-

—So, why don't you both start by telling me what kind of relationship you had with Steve Rogers?

Your expression changed completely when you heard his name. Bucky looked at you out of the corner of his eyes, Sam's eyes also went to you as he tensed his back when Dr. Raynow brought Steve up out of nowhere. Bucky decided to start talking but you couldn't hear what he was saying, you could only focus on how tense your jaw was, the knot in your stomach, and all the anger you were feeling.

Just as it was a relief for Bucky to think and talk about Steve, it hurt you. There was never anything romantic about your friendship with Steve, it was purely based on your devotion to him and your mutual admiration and respect.

When you lost Bucky and Steve crashed into the ice, you had no reason to live but before your heart stopped beating, Howard Stark found you and injected you with the serum. And when you woke up there was only Steve, seventy years later and just as confused as you, living in a century that did not belong to you.

You were together during the whole process of readjusting to your new lives. For Steve, you joined a group of people who called themselves the Avengers and fought against the god of mischief in New York. For Steve, you were almost killed by a robot in Sokovia. For Steve, you fought the Winter Soldier. For Steve, you sided against Tony Stark, the son of the man who brought you back to life, and for Steve, you fought, lost, fought again, and won against Thanos.

They say there is no worse heartbreak than that caused by a friend and Steve Rogers stole a piece of your heart when he left.

—Thank you, James. What can you tell us about Steve? —Dr. Raynor asked you.

You shook your head, your eyes fixed on one spot. The feeling of betrayal when Steve didn't return within the five seconds set by Bruce still haunted you. —I will never forgive him.

Bucky shook his head as well, he turned to look at you. —You know, Dr. Raynor? I've met her for more than seventy years now and one thing that hasn't changed about her is how selfish she is.

—James, we are not here to make value judgments about the feelings experienced by the other person.

The condescending tone in Bucky's voice made you close your eyes and take a deep breath before you talked. —You were captured by HYDRA, tried to kill us, then went into cryogenic sleep and disappeared with the snap. I don't expect you to understand what I'm going through since you never lost Steve because you never had him.

—He was my best friend! —Bucky raised his tone and turned in his chair to look at you.

—You don't even remember a single thing of him before he became Captain America!

Sam called your name. That wasn't Bucky's fault.

—He left because that was the life he fought so many years for! That's the life Steve deserved!

—He was my best friend too! We were together all these years while you were killing people and I had to watch him go! —You did the same as him. That was the first time you looked at each other since the session started and you were yelling at each other. Sam didn't miss any part of the argument, he was with his arms crossed and paying attention to everything you were saying to each other. How could two people who had loved each other so much end up like this?

—Okay, that's enough —. The doctor stopped you before it went any further. You and Bucky rested your backs on the chair again, defeated, and your eyes focused on the therapist. —Since this isn't working, we're going to do an exercise. It's something I use with couples when they're trying to figure out what kind of life they wanna built together —. The doctor added. Bucky rolled his eyes and you closed yours while shaking your head.

—You are acting as if you were never a couple —Sam said.

—Back in 1940.

—Yeah, eighty-two years ago.

You both said at the same time.

—Come on, turn around, look at each other.

Both of you hesitated for a few seconds but finally turned to face each other. His blue eyes were fixed on yours, it was difficult to keep eye contact with him.

—The exercise is called Everytime I look at you and consists of saying something that you feel or see in the other person every time you look at them. Why don't you start?

As you looked at Bucky, you could see the young soldier, wearing his new uniform proudly and hanging a copy of his dog tag around your neck. Looking into Bucky's eyes you felt again the last kiss he gave you before falling from the train, you heard his last laugh before he was brainwashed by HYDRA, you could even feel the caress of his fingers on your skin before the vibranium covered one of his hands.

—Every time I look at you, you have that lost puppy look on your face, asking for people's sympathy. I can't even look at you because every time I do, your mere presence reminds me that Steve's no longer here and it makes me want to fucking die, and sometimes I wish-

Sam called your name and you stopped talking before you could finish the sentence. Bucky's eyes never left yours. You were saying all that to his face.

—Let her finish, Sam —. Dr. Raynor said.

There was a silence.

—And sometimes I wish you were gone instead of him.

As Bucky looked at you, he could see the young lady he fell in love with even though everything he remembered about her was gone. The sparkle in that girl's eyes could no longer be found in yours, but he couldn't forget how your eyes shone as he wrapped his arms around your waist to dance. Bucky did not forget the sound of your laughter when he told you that he would marry you after the war, even though he was totally serious.

—Every time I look at you I don't recognize you. You have changed for the worse and I'm not sure if I like this version of you. You are mean, you don't allow people to get close to you and you hide and say that it's Steve's fault for leaving. But let me just say...

Bucky could see how you dealt with sadness by turning it into anger, he knew it because he did the same thing. Your jaw tightened and you closed your fists so hard that your fingernails dug into the palms of your hands. You didn't want him to say it, but at the same time, you couldn't wait to hear it.

—... that being a bitch isn't going to bring him back.

As soon as Bucky finished the sentence, you got up from the chair and left the room slamming the door. He didn't react to you leaving, he just sat in the chair asking himself the same question as Sam. How did you come to this? How could two people who had loved each other so much end up like this? Sam tried to go after you but he could not keep up with your super soldier speed so he went back to the police station with Bucky and gave him the same look of disappointment that Steve would have given him.

That same night someone knocked on your front door.

You thought it would be Sam because he had been calling you nonstop since you left and you had been ignoring him all day long but when you opened the door, you found Bucky instead.

He took a step closer to you to go inside your house and your hand connected firmly with his cheek. The skin on his face burned right where you had hit him and your body was blocking the doorway. He was just as angry as you were so he gave you a strong push on your shoulders. You managed to keep your balance and he managed to get inside the house and close the door behind him.

Bucky towered you with a challenging attitude, keeping eye contact while forcing you to take a few steps backward. You, despite being shorter than him, did not lower your head. Your breathing was heavy, the tension was too much, you wanted to hit him again and you wanted to say worse things to him than what you said in the therapy session.

When you raised your hand to slap him again, he grabbed your arm with his vibranium hand and squeezed hard enough for it to hurt but you did not give him the pleasure of expressing the pain. The tension was overwhelming. There were only two ways to solve this, either he would let go of your arm and start a fight that wouldn't end until both of you were on the floor exhausted and bleeding, or...

Your bodies collided as you pressed your lips together. Bucky held your face with both hands while his lips devoured yours as your hands pulled on the hem of his shirt. He lifted his arms so you could take it off and in that moment you took a few seconds to admire his well-defined abs. He leaned in for another kiss but you pushed him by his shoulder, strong enough for his back to hit against a wall of your house and crack it. Before he could complain, you connected your lips with his again.

Bucky's fingers closed around your neck as a response. Your mouth opened against his lips, trying to get the air that he was keeping from reaching your lungs and Bucky's tongue went pass your lips.

You took a big breath of air once he let go of your neck and he began to unbutton your jeans. He would never admit it but he made sure that you were okay and that he had not taken it too far, especially when your hands went to his shoulders to keep your balance due to the dizziness. And when Bucky thought he had control over you, your fingernails slid painfully from his shoulders to his abdomen and he groaned.

Bucky threw his head back against the wall once your finger sneaked into his jeans and wrapped around his cock. You moved your hand cruelly slow, he had his eyes closed as he bit his lower lip to hold back his moans. You ran your tongue along his collarbone until you reached his earlobe. —I fucking despise you —. You whispered in his ear. He let out a moan and immediately clenched his jaw again. You felt his hips thrust into your hand.

—Fucking same, doll —. Bucky muttered through gritted teeth.

He brought his hands to your ass and squeezed it as he helped you to wrap your legs around his body. Your lips met again as he walked you to the big wooden table in your living room where he helped you to lie down. Bucky pulled his jeans down enough to free his hard cock while you opened your legs to him. He noticed the wet spot on your panties and you noticed the red marks that your fingernails had carved on his chest. As he pulled your panties to the side, your fingers ran over those marks and Bucky hissed.

The head of his cock was more than enough to stretch you open. You repositioned yourself at the table, now sitting up on your elbows to watch as he pushed himself inside of you. You thought he would give you a few seconds to get used to the feeling, but he didn't stop until he was balls deep inside you.

—Now you take it. Make it up for that attitude —. You whined at his words and Bucky rested his forehead against yours while his hips thrusted into yours.

You encircled your legs around his waist and hooked your ankles over the swell of his ass while he kept slamming his hips into you. At that point you couldn't even think straight, he was hitting all the right spots to make your mind foggy. His pace remained fast and hard, and you thought about the serum running through your veins and how you both could keep up with that pace all night long.

Bucky tucked his head into your neck and whispered the filthiest words into your ear, his hands were on your thighs, squeezing your flesh lustfully, he pulled his dick all way out and then pushed in again until his balls were against your pussy. Your fingers tugged his brown hair at the root, getting moans from him because of your tight grip as it encouraged him to fuck you even harder. If that was how hating you felt, he wanted to hate you for all eternity.

When he heard you moaning and whimpering uncontrollably, when your legs fought to close and squeezed his body, when he felt your nails digging into the skin of his back, Bucky pushed your legs up, hooking your legs over his shoulders, and kept fucking you in that position until it became harder and harder for him to keep going because of the tightness of your pussy. You came screaming his name and spasming around him, Bucky came a few seconds later, with a deep groan that made his chest vibrate and emptying himself inside you.

The next morning, when his alarm went off, Bucky was alone in your bed. He took his time to take a shower and grab something from your kitchen for breakfast before he left. Bucky walked to his therapist's office, trying not to give much importance to what happened last night and especially trying not to think about all the horrible things you said to each other earlier that day in front of Sam and Dr. Raynor.

When he entered the office, Dr. Raynor was not alone. Bucky almost apologized and closed the door again, thinking he interrupted someone's session, but then you turned around in your chair and looked at him. He looked back at you, surprised, from the doorway.

You were already inside, now it was up to him to decide whether to go in with you. Bucky didn't have to think about it, he closed the door behind him and sat down in the chair next to you. You wanted to give yourselves a chance, for your sake, for Steve's sake, and for trying to get back what you two once had.

—Let's try again, shall we? —Dr. Raynor asked with a smile.

[nrdmssgs]

A good wolf

Masterlist

Fluff with an open ending Werewolf Johnny Soap MacTavish x handler f reader AN: thank you to @lialucis for making this happen.

An average handler in the army deals with around a dozen Werewolves throughout their career, a good one - with four or five. That's because werewolves, despite being much more capable, fast and strong than the best human soldiers, don't last too long. They handle the toughest tasks, they are thrown to the most inhuman circumstances. They fight full squads, don't back away before the heavy machinery. Their line of work rarely lets them meet a peaceful old age in the comfort of their beds. When one werewolf doesn't make it back from the battlefield - a handler usually gets assigned to the next one. An average handler has around a dozen werewolves left behind when he retires, a good one does everything possible so that this number doesn't grow over four.

Captain Price promised Soap the best handler. Of course, some werewolves could work alone, like Ghost did. But Johnny was far too socialized to reject that essential bond, only a handler could provide. He needed a mentor, a guiding hand, a new perspective. Soap didn't notice that, but without a handler he gradually grew irritated, caught up in a lap of frustration and a blind search for something. Something very important, that Johnny couldn't put a name to. But when Price brought him and you together in a little briefing room, a simple idea stroke him from the first sight.

Soap needed you.

Even before you opened your mouth, even before Price introduced you to each other - Johnny already knew. You exchanged standard courtesies, Soap thought, you would want to shake hands, but you straight extended your open palms towards his face and froze, allowing him to sniff you.

That meant Soap was not your first wolf. A good sign.

He cautiously inhaled your scent. There was something homely in it, something strangely familiar. And not even a trace of smell of fear or anger. You trusted him right away. Even a better sign. Soap nodded and smiled widely. After that minute you two became almost inseparable.

***

Usually, it takes a werewolf some time to ease up around a handler enough to show them their beast. Soap showed you on a second evening. You two were approaching the close combat polygon, when you dropped the inevitable question.

“Why ‘Soap’?”

He asked you to remind him, what's the time record for completing the longest route on polygon, neutralizing each target. When you answered, he tilted his head to the side and grinned. And that was no more his usual wide smile. Something new emerged from deep inside to his face. Something uncanny, predatory. Something wolfish.

“Watch this.”

Soap shifted in one long and swift stride, your eyes barely caught the smooth outlines of dark furred back as the massive beast disappeared in the tight corridors of the polygon without making any noise at all. In a mere seconds the automatic screen at the entrance began to flash with increasing numbers of neutralized targets. Soap didn't just beat the human time record, he cleared the area two times faster than the best soldiers could. Effective and unstoppable, he startled you with his incredible skills. But as soon as you checked the targets and exited the corridors - you were greeted by the happiest puppy in a body of a 200 kg beast. 

“You did so well, look at you!” You reached out to his enormous head, not caring about rows of massive sharp teeth, that he proudly demonstrated you in an animalistic grin. 

Soap was glowing with pride and eagerly offered his wide forehead for scratching. His tail was wagging in agitation, his electric blue gaze never left your eyes. You two knew each other just for a few days, but hugging his furry neck and scratching behind his ears felt so natural.

As if you both craved something as bright as this moment for a long time already.

Later that night his squad mates surrounded him in the common room.

“Had a good day, Sergeant?” Ghost glanced sideways at Soaps wagging tail, which never disappeared, even in human form.

“Mhm,showed her, where does mah callsign come fae,” Johnny didn't even try to mask his excitement. 

“You look like she showed you, where does her callsign come from, in return,” Ghost leaned against the counter, while Soap roamed around the basket with snacks.

“Her ca' sign, what is it?” Johnny asked, taking a sip of coffee.

He regretted it a second later, when Price named it and Soap nearly chocked in surprise.

***

“Is it awfy much... If I ask ye how come dae thay call ye ‘Kiss’?” 

Soap was slightly worried about asking you this, but when you answered ‘I can show you, just not here’ and lead him away from the cafeteria - the adrenalin fully kicked in, and his heart began racing.

This wasn't a childish anxiety before a possible kiss, oh no. The wolf in him sensed something off. And when you stopped in a deserted hall and lifted your fleece shirt - his suspicions were confirmed.

The nasty scar sprawled across your side and stomach like a relic of a battle, human could never win. Jagged and uneven, it was a map of chaos carved by fangs too wild to obey symmetry. The marks were deep, the flesh long since healed but forever transformed. Soap would distinguish wolves canine marks from any other type of scar. 

“This is the kiss. Well, a goodbye kiss, to be more precise. Badass isn't it?” you tried to play it cool, but Soap didn't follow your lighthearted tone. 

“Who?” He barked in response.

Johnny ignored your attempts to change a subject. His attention was drowning in paling conclaves, surrounded by puckered, pinkish, slightly risen flesh. When he repeated the question, you reached out with an open palm to his face level in a barrier gesture. An unspoken command, he wouldn't dare to not follow. This meant ‘stop whatever you are doing”’. 

“It was my fault. My wolf. I had it coming.”

You gesture didn't hurt him, but this? This felt like a slap in the face. Your wolf? Dared to attack you, his handler? Now, this was low. Of course, there are bad handlers out there: stubborn, violent, or straight stupid. But a werewolf is a few times bigger than any handler. He can always walk away, escape a handler. Attacking one is an absolute bullshit for Johnny.

And also that ‘my wolf’. Soap didn't like the sound of it. Weeks beside you turned into months of training, working side by side on a battlefield and occasional leisure time. You were kinder than his previous handlers, you praised Johnny a lot. Yet he was always a ‘good’ wolf. And with time, Soap realized with bewilderment:

‘Good’ was not enough - Johnny wanted to be ‘your wolf’. 

***

He thought about smile first thing every day. Soap loved it, how you grinned when he made a good joke or when you two goofed off after work. Sometimes you just made a sudden short jump or barked and his inner wolf immediately got into the game. You could pull over some rag with Soap in his wolf form and he loved every second of it. Not only because of the fun, but because of your wide smile, he could witness.

But that was not enough.

You were much more open to accidental physical contacts than other handlers. You let him sniff your neck and hands each time you came back to the base. Johnny needed to know, where you've been, what you ate, how you felt. He also lowkey needed to check if other wolves didn't get too close to you. Other handler would get mad in your place, but you just laughed as he buried his face in your collar and inhaled frantically.

But that also wasn't enough.

You praised him, made him the proudest wolf out there. Others would mark only his achievements, but not you. You praised Johnny for just being himself. Once you two were walking in the forest at the end of one evening. It was cold already, but Soap didn't notice that - he just hovered around you, not pausing friendly banter for a second. He didn't think about it too much, he just got a sudden urge to howl, which he immediately did. Soap stopped and stood still, his chest rising and falling with the rhythm of untamed joy. His eyes, brighter than any human’s should be, were fixed on the glowing orb above. The first sound was low, a rumble from deep within his chest that hummed like a string being plucked in the marrow of the earth. Then it rose. His howl wasn't mournful, it was a cry of elation, an outpouring of gratitude for the night, the moon, the stars, and for you.

“So beautiful, Johnny!” you ruffled his hair, when Soap went silent. This was such a bright moment.

And even that was not enough.

Johnny painfully craved more. He gradually developed a sharper reaction at other wolves approaching you. Deathstares got replaced by guttural growls towards random soldiers turning to look at you. He had to force himself away from you after every greeting, because he started spending way too much time pressing his face against your skin. 

He wasn't opposed to the idea of getting together with a human. But it got more complicated because of a wolf-handler dynamic you two developed. You weren't particularly strict, yet you turned his attempts to flirt into an endless banter.

“Nice uniform, Johnny.”

“Ye know whit tis made from?”

“What?”

“A boyfriend material. 'ere, huv a go, tis soft 'n' warm!” 

“Piss off, Sergeant.”

***

Johnny wasn't proud of some thoughts you awoke in him. You were perfect to him. So delicate yet so strong. Your body would fit against his as though you were two puzzle pieces meant to find each other. Soap noticed that on many occasions when you stood close to him. He needed to touch you. Not with his forehead to your palm, as he usually did, confirming, that he obeys your command. Oh no.

He needed to wrap you in his embrace, to feel your heartbeat, to taste your skin, inhale the scent your body produced in a bliss of lust. Johnny wanted to make you tremble and moan. Lose your breath and forget, where you are. In his heated dreams, Soap felt his duality most acutely: the wolf hungering, the man savoring, both aching to never let the moment end.

Oh, the things he did. Beautiful sinful things. 

Yet he still remained a ‘good wolf’.

Johnny grew tired of this in November. It suddenly became too cold without you right in his hands. And Soap made a plan. An Ideal date. He planned every minute of it, every word, every motion. Sadly, he had to postpone it due to Makarov reappearing on the horizon once again. But that was just a temporary barrier. They would get him very soon. And after that, he would do everything to finally become your wolf.

So thought John Mactavish on 21st of November, going down into the tunnel under Aimsley Street, short after 6 pm.

[aringofsalt]

diy ao3 wrapped: how to get your data!

so i figured out how to do this last year, and spotify wrapped season got me thinking about it again. a couple people in discord asked how to do it so i figured i'd write up a little guide! i'm not quite done with mine for this year yet because i wanted to do some graphics, but this is the post i made last year, for reference!

this got long! i tried to go into as much detail as possible to make it as easy as possible, but i am a web developer, so if there's anything i didn't explain enough (or if you have any other questions) don't hesitate to send me an ask!!

references

i used two reddit posts as references for this:

basic instructions (explains the browser extension; code gets title, word count, and author)

expanded instructions (code gets title, word count, and author, as well as category, date posted, last visited, warnings, rating, fandom, relationship, summary, and completion status, and includes instructions for how to include tags and switch fandoms/relationships to multiple—i will include notes on that later)

both use the extension webscraper.io which is available for both firefox and chrome (and maybe others, but i only use firefox/chrome personally so i didn't check any others, sorry. firefox is better anyway)

scraping your basic/expanded data

first, install the webscraper plugin/extension.

once it's installed, press ctrl+shift+i on pc or cmd+option+i on mac to open your browser's dev tools and navigate to the Web Scraper tab

from there, click "Create New Site Map" > "Import Sitemap"

it will open a screen with a field to input json code and a field for name—you don't need to manually input the name, it will fill in automatically based on the json you paste in. if you want to change it after, changing one will change the other.

i've put the codes i used on pastebin here: basic // expanded

once you've pasted in your code, you will want to update the USERNAME (highlighted in yellow) to your ao3 username, and the LASTPAGE (highlighted in pink) to the last page you want to scrape. to find this, go to your history page on ao3, and click back until you find your first fic of 2024! make sure you go by the "last visited" date instead of the post date.

if you do want to change the id, you can update the value (highlighted in blue) and it will automatically update the sitemap name field, or vice versa. everything else can be left as is.

once you're done, click import, and it'll show you the sitemap. on the top bar, click the middle tab, "Sitemap [id of sitemap]" and choose Scrape. you'll see a couple of options—the defaults worked fine for me, but you can mess with them if you need to. as far as i understand it, it just sets how much time it takes to scrape each page so ao3 doesn't think it's getting attacked by a bot. now click "start scraping"!

once you've done that, it will pop up with a new window which will load your history. let it do its thing. it will start on the last page and work its way back to the first, so depending on how many pages you have, it could take a while. i have 134 pages and it took about 10-12 minutes to get through them all.

once the scrape is done, the new window will close and you should be back at your dev tools window. you can click on the "Sitemap [id of sitemap]" tab again and choose Export data.

i downloaded the data as .xlsx and uploaded to my google drive. and now you can close your dev tools window!

from here on out my instructions are for google sheets; i'm sure most of the queries and calculations will be similar in other programs, but i don't really know excel or numbers, sorry!

setting up your spreadsheet

once it's opened, the first thing i do is sort the "viewed" column A -> Z and get rid of the rows for any deleted works. they don't have any data so no need to keep them. next, i select the columns for "web-scraper-order" and "web-scraper-start-url" (highlighted in pink) and delete them; they're just default data added by the scraper and we don't need them, so it tidies it up a little.

this should leave you with category, posted, viewed, warning, rating, fandom, relationship, title, author, wordcount, and completion status if you used the expanded code. if there are any of these you don't want, you can go ahead and delete those columns also!

next, i add blank columns to the right of the data i want to focus on. this just makes it easier to do my counts later. in my case these will be rating, fandom, relationship, author, and completion status.

one additional thing you should do, is checking the "viewed" column. you'll notice that it looks like this:

you can't really sort by this since it's text, not formatted as a date, so it'll go alphabetically by month rather than sorting by date. but, you'll want to be able to get rid of any entries that were viewed in 2023 (there could be none, but likely there are some because the scraper got everything on your last page even if it was viewed in 2023). what i did here was use the "find" dialog to search the "viewed" column for 2023, and deleted those rows manually.

ctrl/cmd+f, click the 3 dots for "more options". you want to choose "Specific range", then "C2:C#". replace C with the letter of your viewed column (remember i deleted a bunch, so yours may be different) and replace # with the number of the last row of your spreadsheet. then find 2023, select the rows containing it, right click > delete rows.

it isn't super necessary to do this, it will only add at most 19 fics to your count, but the option is there!

alright, with all that done, your sheet should look something like this:

exposing myself for having read stardew valley fic i guess

now for the fun part!!!

the math

yes, the math is the fun part.

scroll all the way down to the bottom of your sheet. i usually add 100 blank rows at the bottom just so i have some space to play with.

most of these will basically be the same query, just updating for the relevant column. i've put it in a pastebin here, but here's a screenshot so i can walk you through it:

you'll want to use lines 3-10, select the cell you want to put your data into, and paste the query into the formula bar (highlighted in green)

so, we're starting with rating, which is column E for me. if yours is a different letter you'll need to replace all the E's with the relevant letter.

what this does is it goes through the entire column, starting with row 2 (highlighted in yellow) and ending with your final row (highlighted in blue, you'll want to change this number to reflect how many rows you have). note that row 2 is your first actual data row, because of the header row.

it checks each row that has a value (line 5), groups by unique value (row 6), and arranges in descending order (row 7) by how many there are of each value (row 8). finally, row 10 determines how many rows of results you'll have; for rating, i put 5 because that's how many ratings there are, but you can increase the number of results (highlighted in pink) for other columns depending on how many you want. this is why i added the 100 extra rows!

next to make the actual number visible, go to the cell one column over. this is why we added the empty columns! next to your first result, add the second query from the pastebin:

your first and second cell numbers (highlighted in yellow and blue) should match the numbers from your query above, and the third number (highlighted in pink) should be the number of the cell with your first value. what this does is go through your column and count how many times the value occurs.

repeat this for the rest of the rows and you should end up with something like this! don't judge me and my reading habits please

now you can go ahead and repeat for the rest of your columns! as i mentioned above, you can increase the amount of result rows you get; i set it to 25 for fandom, relationship, and author, just because i was curious, and only two for completion status because it's either complete or not complete.

you should end up with something like this!

you may end up with some multiples (not sure why this happens, tagging issues maybe?) and up to you if you want to manually fix them! i just ended up doing a find and replace for the two that i didn't want and replaced with the correct tag.

now for the total wordcount! this one is pretty simple, it just adds together your entire column. first i selected the column (N for me) and went to Format > Number > 0 so it stripped commas etc. then at the bottom of the column, add the third query from the pastebin. as usual, your first number is the first data row, and the second is the last data row.

and just because i was curious, i wanted the average wordcount also, so in another cell i did this (fourth query from the pastebin), where the first number is the cell where your total is, and the second number is the total number of fics (total # of data rows minus 1 for the header row).

which gives me this:

tadaaaa!

getting multiple values

so, as i mentioned above, by default the scraper will only get the first value for relationships and fandoms. "but sarah," you may say, "what if i want an accurate breakdown of ALL the fandoms and relationships if there's multiples?"

here's the problem with that: if you want to be able to query and count them properly, each fandom or relationship needs to be its own row, which would skew all the other data. for me personally, it didn't bother me too much; i don't read a lot of crossovers, and typically if i'm reading a fic it's for the primary pairing, so i think the counts (for me) are pretty accurate. if you want to get multiples, i would suggest doing a secondary scrape to get those values separately.

if you want to edit the scrape to get multiples, navigate to one of your history pages (preferably one that has at least one work with multiple fandoms and/or relationships so you can preview) then hit ctrl+shift+i/cmd+option+i, open web scraper, and open your sitemap. expand the row and you should see all your values. find the one you want to edit and hit the "edit" button (highlighted in pink)

on the next screen, you should be good to just check the "Multiple" checkbox (highlighted in pink):

you can then hit "data preview" (highlighted in blue) to get a preview which should show you all the relationships on the page (which is why i said to find a page that has the multiples you are looking for, so you can confirm).

voila! now you can go back to the sitemap and scrape as before.

getting tag data

now, on the vein of multiples, i also wanted to get my most-read tags.

as i mentioned above, if you want to get ALL the tags, it'll skew the regular count data, so i did the tags in a completely separate query, which only grabs the viewed date and the tags. that code is here. you just want to repeat the scraping steps using that as a sitemap. save and open that spreadsheet.

the first thing you'll notice is that this one is a LOT bigger. for context i had 2649 fics in the first spreadsheet; the tags spreadsheet had 31,874 rows.

you can go ahead and repeat a couple of the same steps from before: remove the extra scraper data columns, and then we included the "viewed" column for the same reason as before, to remove any entries from 2023.

then you're just using the same basic query again!

replace the E with whatever your column letter is, and then change your limit to however many tags you want to see. i changed the limit to 50, again just for curiosity.

if you made it this far, congratulations! now that you have all that info, you can do whatever you want with it!

and again, if you have any questions please reach out!

[moralesmilesanhour]

mad props!

summary: your one-sided beef with Miles morphs into a full-on rivalry until unforseen circumstances force you to call a truce. wc: 789 a/n: drabbles when left to cook in the brain for too long turn into mini-series. watch out ! also yes i am doing another enemies-to-lovers thingy don't look at me 01 02

Snap!

You sucked your teeth in the middle row of Mr. Sanchez’s classroom when the tip of your pencil broke in the middle of your rapid note-taking. 

It broke just as you were forming the tilde that was meant to float above the letter ‘n’, creating an odd downward stroke instead that looked like lightning striking a tree. 

You zipped open your pencil case and took out a tiny metal sharpener, the shavings bound to make a mess of your desk.

“Yikes. That’s why I use the mechanical ones,” remarked the boy sitting beside you. 

A friendly grin spread across his freckled, golden-brown face with round eyes that seemed to ask if you thought his comment was funny. 

You shot him a hard glance to let him know that no, it was not funny that your pencil broke whilst you were in the middle of getting down key grammatical rules. 

The boy’s face fell at the implied rejection. Somehow, the wounded look in his eyes irritated you more than the grin. It made him look like a lost deer.

“Morales, silencio, por favor,” Sanchez said, peering over his glasses at your shoulder partner. “Unless you’d like to explain how direct object pronouns work instead.”

“No, estoy bien.”

There was no sign of panic or apology on Morales’ face as he replied, despite Mr. Sanchez being known to seek out inattentive students to cold-call later. He smiled awkwardly at the bearded man, and again when he was caught a bit later doodling in his notebook.

“Miles Morales, can you translate this sentence for us please?”

“Fui a Madrid el verano pasado,” Miles answered, without missing a beat.

The man shook his head, then moved on.

“Correct. Now, who would like to take the next sentence…”

You would soon learn over the coming weeks since your transfer to Visions that this was a daily routine for Miles: he’d come in late, or get caught scribbling away in the margins of his worksheet. Then he’d get that panicked “help me” smile on his face before making a pun or quip that made you cringe so hard that your back hurt. 

Still, Miles’ answers were never wrong after the fact.

He blended into the crowd otherwise, but the second-hand embarrassment made him hard to forget. 

“Quiz grades were surprisingly low,” Mr. Sanchez announced one Wednesday morning as he walked around, handing out one-page sheets face down. “I would highly suggest going over this unit at home over the long weekend.”

Almost immediately, kids began passing each other’s quizzes back and forth, giggling at how their results all seemed to be floating just under fifty percent. Part of the ease in their laughter came from the assumption that Sanchez would “just curve it anyway.” 

Not that it would make a difference to you. 

You frowned at the eighty-five circled in red at the top of your quiz. Just a couple of points away from a nice, even ninety that would’ve finally bumped your grade up to an ‘A’ instead of an ‘A-’.

Even worse, some of the circled questions were points lost just because you were missing an accent on a letter or two, and a couple of vocab words had slipped your mind. You should’ve answered the bonus questions…

“Wow, you’re the only one without a forty so far,” a familiar voice complimented you. “Good job.”

Miles was offering you another friendly grin, with those same expectant eyes. Please like me, they seemed to plead. 

No thanks.

You replied flatly, “I actually studied.”

It felt like an insult for anyone to be impressed with you in a class full of failing grades.

His grin faded. You expected it to be replaced with disappointment, but he just shrugged and pressed his lips into a thin line before turning away. 

Sanchez returned to where you were sitting to hand Miles’ test back.

He spoke solemnly, “You and L/N were the only passing grades in this class.”

You caught a glance at the number marked atop the page once Miles flipped it over:

‘100%’. With five points as extra credit. 

He looked down at it and hummed quietly in approval before flipping it back over, and suddenly that ‘A-’ felt like a ‘C’. 

It was only logical that the guy who never got an answer wrong would perform similarly on a quiz. But he didn’t deserve it; he didn’t even care. 

“How many hours did you study for that?” you scoffed quietly, like an accusation. 

Miles gave you a sidelong glance, and you could’ve sworn there was mockery in his eyes. 

“I don’t study.”

If you could go back and pinpoint the exact moment where irritation boiled over into disdain, it would be this one.

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

hey! Could you write for 2003 Bill meeting a new girl in town and how he gets her to join his band and sort of adopts her into the crew? I feel like he would be very curious as of why a foreigner would come live in loistche of all places germany. I'm such a sucker for the childhood crush trope

(hello! I did your request then just sorta sucked into the trope thing lmao, I hope you enjoy!)

Childhood Crush

He is very curious at you at first obviously

He's a very nice kid and doesn't want you to be lonely like he used to be so he basically forced you to be his friend

Is he kid next door to you

Tom also became one of your best friends, later along Gustav and Georg also

All thanks to Bill

The more Bill gets to know you the more close you guys get

He is constantly asking questions on why you moved there of all places

Even if you don't speak German very well you both manage

He is stuck to you like glue

Especially when school starts

You both hang out with Tom in the corners and go on and on about y'all's day

Forces you to listen to him singing

One of his first songs was about you

Y'all had crushes on each other for so long before you guys even started dating

He has you join the band and you are very great at it

He practically forced you to be his friend

Came up to you, said hi, liked your vibed and dragged you to play with him and Tom

Your mother's or guardians are always together because you guys are always together

Bill was the kid to have fake weddings for you guys

Took that seriously

Picked random flowers to give to you, making sure they were your favorite

Bought you candy as a broke kid of his time because it's all either of you could afford

When it was your birthday he so graciously got you a gift he spent hours looking for and paid using his mom's money

Anything for you babes

Bill always let you paint his nails and do his hair

You were the front row seat when he was singing it's raining men

Came to you when he scored second and was a bit sad

He always stole your clothes and accessories

It hurt to admit he looked better in them

He always helped you when you got hurt

Like skimmed your knee and Bill suddenly turns into a whole ass mother

The one to push you into a pool and jump after you to "save" you

He has a weird way of telling you he likes you

You guys were literally destined to be together

Your mother's kept looking at y'all like

"Yep. Plan the wedding."

And Bill has been planning the wedding for a very long time

And let me tell you, babe, it was a very good wedding

[piles-of-numbers]

hi, I wrote / doodled my aroace journey for pride

id below the keep reading

ID: A series of 10 images featuring a handwritten story and doodles along the way. They read as follows:

Growing up, I believed my life would follow a certain path. (Doodle: footpath with grass around it). It was the path of all my favorite books, shows, movies, etc. Doodle of a row of five triangular flags along a path. The first is labeled "meet a guy," the second is labeled "we develop some witty banter," the third is labeled "He confesses his love for me," the fourth is labeled "???", and the fifth and final one is labeled "Profit."

That path was in my mind during most interactions with my guy friends. Doodle of a stick figure posed with hand on face, considering another stick figure. Next to the stick figure is a list: nice (check), funny (check), smart (check), likes me??. These candidates became my crushes. I waited for a confession. Sometimes, my friends would suggest I take initiative. Doodle of the same stick figure in a thoughtful pose, along with two more stick figures. One says "You should ask him out!" The other says "Yeah!". But something about the idea felt off.

I told myself I wanted to focus on school instead. (Doodle of a paper with an A on it, two books titled Math and Biology. In truth, the idea of dating didn't really excite me. I thought that there was nothing wrong with being single. Thought it wouldn't be the end of the world if I just kept to myself. But all those stories taught me about what happened to those kinds of sentiments. Doodle of a stick figure, hands on stick hips, saying "I'm better off alone!". Below that is words written in the Spongebob timeskip card, "Two Days Later....". Then there are two stick figures holding hands and looking at each other, saying "I'm only complete now that I've found you."

So, being the star student I was, I decided that I was just staving off the inevitable and decided to skip to that part where I found someone I liked. My sophomore year, the stars seemed to align: I turned 16, the age of most teenage protagonists, I heard through a friend that a guy would have asked be to Jr. Prom if I hadn't already expressed I was busy that day, and said guy got me a small gift for my birthday. So, with encouragement from my friends, I decided to strongly hint (but not outright say) that I liked him. And so, a week after my 16th birthday, he asked me out, to which I responded with a super confident "sure?"

We went on two dates before I ended it. He didn't do anything wrong, but something on my end felt wrong. I wouldn't say that I was repulsed, that seems to strong of a word. But the situation seemed forced. I decided I must not be mature enough, that I would date when I got to college. Towards the end of high school, I discovered the actual definition of asexuality. A doodle of the stick figure wondering Wait... sexual attraction? What is that? That's real? Cue about 3.5 years of questioning: how to prove a negative? maybe I am just anxious? No "right person" yet? I don't hate the idea of sex? Other people are exaggerating?

Fun thing about the anxiety question, I started taking anxiety medication during my last semester of college. With my mind a little more ordered, it all became clearer: I'm ace. The stick figure now waves an ace flag. With that sorted out, I was ready to move along in life when... the stick figure is handed a paper by a little brain and asks "oh? what is this?" The happy little brain smiles as the paper reveals the words HAVE I FELT ROMANTIC ATTRACTION???* The asterisk leads to the smaller note "also gender???"

Of course I had. Right? There was the aforementioned guy in high school, and in early college I thought about pursuing two guys. But I realized something: I always thought I had to like somebody. The butterflies I had in high school were less about the guy, and more... Doodle of two butterflies having a conversation. "Omg he likes us" "Mission accomplished" "Wait now we have to go on a date." "Ahhhh? what do we even do?"

What even is romance? I don't know. It's different for each person. Like a lot of people, I crave a connection founded on trust, shared interests, inside jokes, etc. Doodle of two stick figures, there are squiggly lines between them, a connection. But I think something about that connection, maybe its very essence, is just different. Two stick figures with different squiggly lines between them. I remembered thing how I've always wanted to skip the whole "head over heels" part of the relationship, and go right to being an old married couple. So, I'm aro. At first, I had a mini crisis. Doodle of the stick figuring sitting on the floor with tears, holding the aro flag. A sad brain pats the stick figure in support.

But that crisis ended when I stopped treating this revelation as a path being blocked... Doodle of a path leading to an archway, the archway is boarded off.... and more like a bunch of new paths I hadn't really considered opening up. Doodle of the archway path no longer blocked off, surrounded by a bunch of other archways.

Honestly, the first path isn't even gone, it just looks a little different. Doodle of the archway path looking the same as before, but the archway is a rainbow in the colors of the queerplatonic flag: yellow, pink, white, grey, black. The pathway has pebbles of those colors. I'm thankful for all the stories and comics people have shared related to the aroace spectrum. I shudder to think what my life would look like if I hadn't found these words, what paths I may have forced myself to walk. So now, it's my turn. Happy pride 2023, especially to my aros, my aces, aroaces, my aspecs, and to everyone still figuring things out. Doodle of a stick figure holding an ace flag and an aro flag.

End ID.

[ilovecupcakesandtea]

Chapter one Chapter seven My master list

Title: Chapter six

Word Count: 1454

Archive Warnings: Smut in future chapters. Slight angst. Alcohol misuse.

Rating: E

Pairing(s): Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington Robin Buckley/Chrissy Cunningham

Character(s): Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Chrissy Cunningham, Benny, Uncle Wayne & The Party

Tags: Smut. Angst. Steddie. Buckingham. Steve Harrington. Eddie Munson. Robin Buckley. Chrissy Cunningham. Band AU. TW Alcohol use.

Summary (optional): Two different styles of music, two boys that really don't like each other. What could possibly go wrong?

Beta Reader: Thank you so much to my beautiful beta readers @slippy-slip @ladydarklord & @dontwasteyourchances

Art link and credit: Art is by the wonderfully talented @pink-luna-moth (as is the banner)

Fic link and credit: Ao3 Link

AN: First off thank you to Alex for the art and being just amazing to work alongside. Thank you to Slip for dragging me back from the edge so many times over this. I really am so excited to have this out here!!

I wrote this for the @strangerthingsreversebigbang event and had a lot of fun doing so!!

Divider links: reblog and music notes

“Right, great practise guys. Think we need to practise our timings for the second song but other than that we sounded great” Eddie voiced as he packed up his guitar and notebooks. “I’m off then, Chris, you need a lift?” he asked, turning to Chrissy. 

“I was thinking we could hang out a bit, I’ll order pizza and we can watch a movie,” Steve suggested before Eddie could leave.

“I’ll pass Harrington, see you all next time.” Eddie answered, continuing to leave. 

“That’s 3 weeks in a row now he’s just left. We always used to hang after. He’s missed writing sessions 3 times as well.” Robin pointed out, packing her own guitar away. 

“Yeah ever since that gig at Healer he’s been acting weird. Skipping out of practice as soon as he can, heading straight home after gigs, missing writing sessions and everything. He hasn’t replied to any of my messages or anything since that night either.” Steve huffed as he grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. 

“He’ll be ok, he’s just going through something right now, ok? He still turns up and plays and he’s here for practice, that's all that really matters.” Chrissy defended. 

She knew exactly what was wrong with Eddie, having done her own intervention 3 days after the gig when he’d called out from work and she hadn’t heard from him. Letting herself into his apartment, she’d found him passed out in bed. Empty bottle of whisky on the nightstand and half-smoked joint in the ashtray. She had made coffee and toast after waking him and they’d sat and had a chat which is when she had found out what happened between him and Steve at the club, including the bit afterwards. 

“Shall we go put a movie on and get a pizza ordered?” she suggested wanting to steer the conversation away from Eddie. 

“You never mentioned something was up with Eddie.” Robin started the conversation later that evening once they were both back at Chrissy’s house. 

“It’s not my place to say, can we leave this conversation? Let’s just get ready for bed and go and cuddle.” Chrissy said, trying to change the subject. 

“No, if it’s going to affect the band, we should know.” Robin pushed. 

“Your best friend should have thought about the band in the club,” Chrissy mumbled, grabbing a vest top and a pair of underwear and heading to the bathroom

“What was that?” Robin asked, following her girlfriend. Steve hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Nothing, this is why I wanted to leave it! Eddie will be ok. He just needs a little time away from Steve, that's all.” Chrissy huffed as she started to take her makeup off.

“Is this about what happened at the club?” Robin questioned, sitting on the closed toilet lid. 

“I’m not discussing this anymore. Please either drop it or allow me to get ready for bed on my own.” Chrissy sighed. 

“Whatever” Robin fumed, storming out of the bathroom and ultimately out of the flat.

Robin walked and walked, not really knowing where her legs were taking her until she got there. 

She knocked on the door before she could think twice and was greeted with the sight of Eddie, hair thrown up in a bun, topless and drinking a beer.

“Everything ok, Buckley?” he asked, clearly already drunk, letting her into the apartment. 

“No, it’s not.” Robin stated, “It hasn't been for weeks now, you keep missing writing, skipping out of practice as soon as possible, and going home as soon as gigs are done with. I’d hoped you had a partner we didn’t know about but you’ve been miserable for weeks now, not just everything else I mentioned, and if having a partner is making you this miserable maybe they aren't for you.”

“Nothing’s wrong, everything's ok.” Eddie frowned, downing his drink and heading to the kitchen for another. 

“Sure it is, you just ran out of practice as soon as you could to come home and get drunk because everything is fine.” she snorted, taking the beer she was handed. 

“Why do you care?” Eddie questioned the girl. 

“We’re all worried about you ok, you’ve been so different these last few weeks. What happened at Healer? Don’t say nothing, it was something.” She pressed. 

“Nothing happened at all. Just doing what I need to do, ok? I’ll be fine, just let me work through some shit. Please” 

“Is this about Steve taking that guy home that night? Do you have an issue with Steve getting laid?” She asked, confused.  

“No! I have an issue with him being on his knees for me less than an hour beforehand and then acting like it meant nothing. Not that I wanted it to mean something, just forget it, ok. Like I said, I’ll be fine.” Eddie sighed, pulling his knees up to his chest and making himself as small as possible. He really didn’t want to have this conversation.

“Oh, oh Eddie, I’m so sorry. This isn’t really for me to say but I don’t think the situation is as bad as you think. Let me talk to him.” Robin pleaded. 

The following morning Robin went back to Chrissy’s apartment. They had to talk. First of all, she needed to fix the issue she had caused last night and secondly, they needed a plan to get the two men together.

“Baby, I am so sorry for last night.” she said as soon as Chrissy opened the door “I should have listened to you and kept my mouth shut when you asked me to.” 

“Yes, you should have. But I love you too much to be mad at you, come in. I’ll make coffee.” Chrissy replied, walking back into her apartment and leaving the door open.

“So I ended up at Eddie’s last night when I left here. He was drunk already and he mentioned that something had happened that night at Healer.” Robin mentioned as she followed her girlfriend into the kitchen.

“Yeah he told me a few days after, don’t be mad I didn’t tell you. He wanted to forget it. It happened, not long after, he saw Steve making out with someone else, figured what had happened meant absolutely nothing to Steve, and walked off. He’s been in a funk ever since.” 

“Oh shit, so he likes Steve like that then?” Robin gasped.

“Yeah, he really does. He figured Steve didn’t like him like that but to see evidence of it so soon after thinking maybe something was there was crushing for him.” Chrissy shrugged.

“Ok, in Steve’s defence, they aren't together and he’s an idiot. Mostly the idiot thing. He likes Eddie so much it’s actually annoying, I’m just not sure he’s admitted it to himself fully yet.”

“We need to get them together.” 

“Yes we do, now can we drink coffee and make out, I mean make up?” Robin asked, pulling Chrissy into her before kissing her deeply. 

“Steven Brett Harrington, you are an idiot.” Robin declared as soon as Steve opened his door later that day.

“Good evening to you as well, what did I do this time?” He questioned. 

“You never told me about you and Eddie at the club for a start!” She accused, pointing a finger at him. “You know that’s why he’s been acting like he has been, right?” 

“Why? Because he’s upset that someone else wanted me when he didn’t?” He asked, annoyed at how he was being made to feel like the bad guy. “I put myself out there and after, he just walked away and didn’t look back. Why shouldn’t I find someone who wants me in that situation?” 

“You two are idiots I swear, you’re both going to give me and Chris migraines.” she sighed, pulling him into a hug.

After Robin’s conversation with him, both girls thought, and hoped, that he would talk to Eddie, either whilst at practice or go to Eddie’s without them knowing. This however did not seem to be the case. Eddie was still leaving practice as soon as he could and heading home from any gig as soon as he could. 

“Bunny, we’ve got to do something,” Robin sighed, throwing herself dramatically onto the couch after practice one day. “We’re getting more and more gigs in different states, we’re going to have to start staying over for some of them and there’s talks of contracts and things like that. They need to figure this shit out and quickly.” 

“Yeah, they do. We need to force them to talk, they won’t do it willingly.” Chrisy agreed. “I have a plan though” she declared, grabbing the other girl and pulling her into a cuddle so they could plot.

[samynnad102687]

Quiet in the library

@struttingstag April 5th Prompt: Quiet in the library | 1530 words James/Regulus/Sirius | Warnings: NSFW, blow jobs

James was at the library studying with Regulus for the third day in a row. Regulus wasn't studying though, he was just making James study since he had his NEWTs coming up in a month. It didn't help that Regulus kept biting his bottom lip every time James got the answer correct, which happened quite a lot and the longer they sat there the tighter James' jeans became.

"Reg... if you keep doing that, I'm going to end up launching over this table to ravish your neck until we can get to our secret room," James whisper-yelled across the table after he slammed the transfiguration book closed.

"Aww, baby," Regulus cooed. "Am I distracting you?"

"You know you are." James scoffed as he rolled his eyes.

"Well, maybe having you ravish me in the library is my end goal. Did you ever think about that?" Regulus asked as he batted his long lashes at him and James had to adjust himself in his seat.

"You're the one who wanted me to study." James threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

He didn't know how much longer the blood flow was going to continue to go to his brain before it all travelled south in a hurry. Regulus laughed quietly before he stood up and walked around the table to stand behind James and whispered in his ear as he ran his hand up and down James' chest.

"Ten more minutes and I'll let you do whatever you want when we get back to our room. Okay?" James nodded dumbly.

Regulus straightened and started to walk away.

"Where are you going?"

"To get the last book that you need."

Regulus disappeared into the stacks a minute later. James was trying to calm his body down so he could focus. He could wait ten more minutes. Right? James was about to open the book in front of him again when Sirius appeared and plopped himself down in Regulus' chair with a huff. James gave him a confused look before he started speaking.

"I don't get it," Sirius said as he looked around for a second before he locked eyes with James again.

"Get what?"

"What's so special about Reggie? Well, no, I know what's special about him but why him and not me?" Sirius complained. "What does he do better than I can?"

"What are you talking about?"

"We have been best friends for years and we've done stuff in the past, right?" James nodded. "So why him?"

"Well, for one," Regulus smirked from behind Sirius, who nearly fell out of his chair at Regulus' sudden appearance, "I'm better at sucking cock than you are."

"You are not!" Sirius gasped as he put his hand over his heart in offence.

"Pretty sure the noises you were making the last time I sucked you off prove that I am." Regulus shrugged as he sat down next to his brother.

"That's beside the point," Sirius pouted before he turned away from Regulus, who was quietly laughing, and back to James, who was trying to hide his smile behind his hand.

"Is that why?" Sirius asked, gesturing to Regulus.

"I mean, he is quite an expert at it but that's not the only reason," James replied with a shrug.

"Told you," Regulus taunted as he stuck out his tongue at Sirius who was still pouting.

"What if I prove I'm better?" Sirius asked suddenly with a determined look on his face.

"What?" James choked out. He wasn't sure if he heard him correctly. "Better at what?"

"Sucking cock."

"You really think that you're better than me?" Regulus scoffed as he rolled his eyes.

Now see, James loves Regulus. He really does but he has also fantasised about Sirius in the past. They had done some stuff but it never went any further than making out and fondling each other over their clothes. They were teenage boys who just hit puberty and they were curious. James didn't know what to say. He looked at Regulus for a minute with the question on his tongue but Regulus seemed to have already read his mind.

"It's up to you, Jamie," Regulus said nonchalantly as he leaned back in his chair and gestured to his brother with a lazy wave of his hand.

"So what do you say, James?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"What? Now?"

"Yeah. I mean you're already worked up," James glared at Regulus before looking back at Sirius. "Why not let me help you out?" Sirius finished.

"We're in the library," James remarked aghast.

Regulus stood up and walked around the table again to whisper in James' ear.

"He's not going to let it go until you let him suck you off. Plus, if you let him do that, I'll let you tie me up later. I know how much you love doing that."

James could feel his cheeks heat up and he was sure the three Hufflepuff girls could see it from across the library.

James nodded slowly as a soft 'okay' fell from his lips.

Regulus grabbed his hand to pull him up from the table. James went willingly and followed Regulus without hesitation. He didn't know where they were going but he didn't care.

"Are you coming?" Regulus called back to the table where Sirius was still sitting with a confused look on his face.

Sirius jumped up so fast that he nearly knocked the chair over and walked quickly over to them. By the time they stopped, Regulus had dragged them to a secluded part of the library where they kept the outdated books that they refused to get rid of. Regulus pushed James into one of the armchairs before he ran his hand up James' chest lightly and positioned himself behind the chair but close enough to keep his hands on James.

"Let's see what you got, brother."

Sirius nodded and dropped to his knees with a thud and started to release James' cock from its confines. It sprung up quickly once his jeans and pants were pulled halfway down his thighs. Regulus started to run his ring-clad fingers through James' hair, tugging gently at the roots. James' heart flipped in his chest at the prospect of having both brothers at the same time.

"What are you waiting for, Sirius? He's willing and I can already see him leaking from the tip," Regulus scoffed as he ran his lips along the helix of James' ear, making him shiver with anticipation. "If you don't hurry up, I'm going to kick you out and take care of him myself."

Sirius didn't waste another second and swallowed James down in one go, gagging slightly. James moaned at the sudden wet heat and Regulus put his hand over James' mouth.

"You have to be quiet, baby. This is the library remember," Regulus breathed into James' ear and James nodded before he let out another muffled moan into Regulus' hand.

Sirius started to swirl his tongue around James' cock as he bobbed his head faster and faster. James was starting to see stars at the corners of his vision. Was he better than Regulus? James couldn't tell. He was good with his tongue, James would give him that. He could feel himself crawling to the edge and peering over it. He was teetering and when James went to tell Sirius that he was close, he was cut off by another muffled moan from deep in his throat.

"You're close, aren't you, baby?" Regulus asked, always in tune with James' body.

James nodded as he closed his eyes for a second to focus on the feel of having Sirius between his thighs and Regulus behind him. Regulus removed his hand after another rather loud muffled moan and replaced it with his lips, swallowing the moan that followed.

"Quiet, Jamie. You need to behave if you want your treat," Regulus whispered seductively into James' ear, causing his whole body to shudder and his hips to buck up into Sirius' mouth before he spilt down his throat with no warning.

Sirius swallowed every last drop, licking James clean before he pulled off with a smug grin.

"So?" Sirius asked. "Who's better?"

"I- I don't know," James replied as he looked between the brothers.

James was still coming down from the high of his orgasm as Regulus put him back into his jeans. Regulus was trying to hide his own smug grin as Sirius scoffed and threw his hands up in the air. James was sure if Sirius had a chance to prove it by himself then James might be able to make a decision but he was still reeling from having them both at the same time. Could he have them both at the same time?

Once James had calmed his body down, Regulus grabbed his hand again and pulled him along back to the table to pack up their stuff. Sirius was trailing behind like a sad puppy.

"Good boy," Regulus whispered into James' ear after he pulled him in for a kiss after they left the library.

If the three of them ended up in James' and Regulus' room, that was nobody's business except their own. 

Also posted on Ao3: Library Surprises

[struttinevilshroom]

Papa's Freezeria Deluxe is the Greatest Game Ever Made (and I'm not joking)

That statement sounds like a joke but I am being 100% serious. I'll say it again, Papa's freezeria deluxe is the greatest game ever made or atleast it's my favorite game ever. You see, I'm not much of a gamer and I'm only discovering the world of video games now that I know piracy and have money to spend on games. The games that I bought as a child were usually second hand and on a console that was slowly being pushed out of the mainstream by the next one in line so games became more difficult to find and I stopped playing. I don't have many games that really stood out to me from my childhood, maybe Cars 2 for the Playstation 3 but I say that in a joking tone. If you were to ask any one of my friends what games from their childhood left an impact on them, they'd have a myriad of answers to give you. My one friend that I've mentioned in the Pikmin 4 review would probably choose every game in the Wii library. For me though, one game stands out and that is Papa's Freezeria, the original one. I think back on that game and that time very fondly. Me, my sister and my cousin were all huddled around my small laptop, taking turns and swapping after every day in game. We played the other Papa Louie titles and those all improved on Papa's Freezeria by adding fancy new features and bells and whistles to make them look superior to their predecessors but no matter how many new aspects they added to the later releases, I always went back to Papa's Freezeria.

When I think about the evolution of the Papa Louie games, I think about something my science teacher usually says "build your science scaffold everyday" this quote is actually seemingly unrelated but my debate coach says that it's always good to use quotes to get a point across and the point that I want to get across is that the Papa Louie games all build on one another. At the core is very stable formula that every game employs but with each title, they build on that like a scaffold, see it wasn't unrelated (it was unrelated but just roll with it) but the thing is my debate coach also mentioned that another good way to get a point across is through reference to stories or anecdotes. What is a scaffold without a good foundation, it's like that story from the Bible about the house on the rocks vs the house on the sand. The house on the sand would inevitably fall no matter how well it is built. No matter how many fancy bells and shiny whistles they add, without a good formula at the core of a Papa Louie title, it will fall. They all have the same formula but I feel that Papa's Freezeria perfected it. Every Papa Louie game has the Order station, the Build station, the Wait station and the Top station. Order station is where customers Order food, the build station is where you build the plate, wait station is where you cook the food which results in the player having to wait a certain amount of time, the top station is where you add finishing touches like decorations. Sounds simple but some games really mess this up by making the wait times too long (Papa's Taco Mia) or the top station too difficult (Papa's Sushiaria) or even too simple (Papa's Burgeria). Papa's Freezeria got this formula right from the get go. The formula is not too complicated but it has nuance, it appears challenging and impossible until you get the hang of it.

Every customer grades you individually on each station and then gives you an average based off of all the stations, you begin to fall into a groove where you get 99% ratings consistently, I've gotten a perfect score twice in a row with the strictest customer. Not that this game is easy, it's a system that you have to find for yourself.

Now, when Papa's Freezeria Deluxe came out, I was ill, I was really feverish and I thought I'd never play a Papa Louie title ever again due to Flash going down but then I saw Jerma play Papa's Freezeria Deluxe on steam and I bought it immediately. By the way if you think that Papa's Freezeria is too easy, watch Jerma play it, I watched this man struggle for 5 hours and like in that one episode of Breaking Bad where they play the full theme song, my ego got the better of me and I got up and had to show this old man how it's done, even in my sick state (it wasn't that bad, I'm jusy trying to craft a scene here). I downloaded the game and me and my sister played for 5 hours straight. I wrote a steam review on the game that quadruples the length of any essay I've written for school.

It was odd though, revisiting something from your childhood and being a completely different person now that you're experiencing it again. When I first played Papa's Freezeria, I must've been 9 years old, my sister 5, my cousin 11. Now revisiting it, I'm 17 years old, thinking about college and university, my sister is 13 years old, wondering how she's gonna adjust to high school, my cousin is 19 years old in her first year of university, just trying to keep herself afloat. As much as things have changed since then, it took me back and even for 5 hours, I was able to feel like a kid again and i didn't have to stress about school or if my marks are good enough for whatever university I had in mind Back then and I could just enjoy the game, it was lovely. I play it to calm myself down, I worry too much, I'm always overthinking every minute detail in everything and I drive myself crazy. Look at this review, it's just a game where you make sundaes but I've extrapolated some profound meaning out of it. My worrying helps me in my reviews a lot and it helps me to be descriptive in my writing but outside of that it's nothing but a bother and I'm sure we all worry too much at times, this game is good for that, you don't have to worry once you get in the groove of it. I also admire the tropical setting of it all, the music which gets repetitive and I usually have other music playing in a YouTube tab.

Man, this game means a lot to me. I love that they made this Deluxe edition and I've heard through the wire that there's another release in November of this year. I recommend it, it's worth every penny. It really does mean a lot to me and I've always known that in the back of my mind but now writing this and actually stating how much it means to me, I finally realize the full extent of what this game means to me. Thank you for reading this one, even if it was about Papa's Freezeria and maybe too pretentious but I've come to terms with the fact that I'm pretentious and that's OK, atleast it gives these reviews some personality. Anyway, I'll catch you later with something else I'm not sure what just yet.

[profoundlyscreechingchild]

I'm not happy Bob, Not. Happy.

TLDR; TFsource needs to get there shit sorted, or I am going to the better business bureau.

Pardon me while I set up, I generally don't like conflict but I was engaging in good faith for about a month until I realized that it was not being returned on the other end and I want to make clear exactly what happened.

My most recent irresponsible hobby is transformers model kits. I've been doing them for about two years now and its great fun putting them together. Sadly one of my favorites, IDW Drift, came out in 2019, before I got into the hobby, and is sold out everywhere. Occasionally I'll poke around for him but I've been unsuccessful. (I was able to get a interesting metal kit that you fold into shape but it was miserable to put together and the motherfucker fell off of its self once and stabbed me in the back with its sword.) Until this January. I happened to see one in-stock on TFsource, perfect, mint-in-box, ready for assembly. I excitedly clicked the buy button and waited with bated breath. Its important at this moment I point out the collection of links at the bottom of the order received email I got. It's a surprise tool that will help us later.

I also think its notable that this is my first order I have ever made with TFsource. Spoilers: there will not be more after this. I waited a few days. There is no 'your order has shipped' email in my inbox. I check the order. Everything seems fine, but weirdly its listed as a preorder? Did I buy the wrong model kit? I assumed this was a resale. I double check.

Its the right model kit. It came out in 2019. This should not be a preorder. (Important to note at this point that there is no longer a clickable order or preorder button, despite this item now being falsely labeled as a preorder. Not to mention the estimated arrival is a price and not a date.) I check the forums for the average amount of time it takes them to ship. Its about a week. I shake off my misgivings and wait a week. I wait another. Still no shipping notification. I hate sending in tickets or calling or generally being a nuisance in any way but its been two weeks on an item they had in-stock and the order has it listed incorrectly. Its time to talk to someone.

I send an email. I made my order on January 30th. My first email goes out February 16th.

I get a ticket received notification. It says I should get a response in a day or Monday to Tuesday if I sent it Friday.

I don't get a response until the next Wednesday, but whatever. That's still totally in the bounds of reasonable. But the response itself is very weird. Starting with the fact that I get two responses at the same time from the same person outside of their business hours.

This reeks of automated response, which, honestly fine, I expect the first round of a ticket to probably be a bot simply to weed out the people who didn't just check the QA page. BUT if its an automated system why did it take so long to answer me? And if its not a bot why did I receive two emails, each feeling like an automatic response to a keyword found in my email? Okay whatever, they still aren't answering my question and are under the impression that this is a preorder, which again. Its not. I respond.

At this point I'm a little disappointed, I reaaaally wanted that kit, but I mostly just want answers. If someone else got it that's fine. I'll just cancel my order. But I want to be sure that I'm not missing out on my chance to snag this kit.

This time it does take a full, proper week for the response.

"Most Probably"?! Its your job to find out and I figure the second round of a ticket should be a human, but this still feels vaguely bottish. Why are you just regurgitating the order details at me? I would have at the least expected them to ask me directly if I wanted to cancel. Okay so its time to be a big girl and call them, just to be absolutely sure I'm not missing out on the model before I cancel, but I want to have all my ducks in a row and make sure everything is in front of me for the call. This is where shit hits the fan for me because of several facts I had hither to been unaware of.

I checked my credit card. They had already charged me for the kit. The kit, that according to them they did not have in stock and according to their system, was a preorder. This is where I learn that unlike the other sites I have used, they charge you for a preorder before they ever even get it in stock. What the Fuck.

okay well, I want to make sure before I call I know how to cancel the order myself.

Okay, that's weird, no way to cancel. Maybe the view details?

Huh, that's fucking weird. You have literally no way to guarantee I get my product and you already took my $80, and there's no way to cancel the order. (I feel its important to note the other site I use does let you cancel preorders and does not charge you until they come in, you know, like a respectable fucking site.)

I am fucking livid at this point. How am I not able to cancel my order. You labeled this a preorder and your email tells me I can cancel those anytime.

Funny that. In fact, if you go to their front page, they have all those same little link badges...except for one very important one. Can you guess which one?

Something sure seems to be missing there sport. If you click the link in the email it takes to you a page that also says you can cancel preorders at anytime. However. I checked the QA page.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T CANCEL A PREORDER. YOU SAID YOU COULD IN TWO SEPARATE PLACES.

I call. I call with the flames of Hell in my heart. I was so excited to get this model kit. If I had simply missed my chance I would have accepted it. But their system has blocked me from getting real answers. Lied to me about my options and stopped me from solving the problem myself. I am answered by a robo voice cuts out every other word and I select the option that takes me to customer service. I am briefly put on hold and then told nobody is home would I like to leave a message. I wait a while and call back again in an hour. Its the same thing. I leave a message with my number. I just wanted to spend my money on a silly little robot. If they don't call back by Friday. I'm contacting my credit card company for a charge back and the better business bureau for their misleading preorder policy (WHICH SHOULD NOT EVEN APPLY SINCE THIS WAS NOT A PREORDER). Eat my Shorts TFsource.

[isca-rambles]

5x11 Lucy loving her man being so helpless over a coffee machine. Tim being the worst fucking liar in the world how did this man survive even one minute of UC work. Lucy probably writing up 20 pages of research for any possible questions that anyone might ask. The little smiles they have for each other. Tim's hatred of screenwriters. The flirting. My god the flirting you two please calm down you're in a police station. Nothing will have to wait until later. Tim and Aaron friendship and banter is everything. Why. Whhhhy. Lucy and her overwhelming desire to protect everyone. Beautiful sunshine human being. So did Tim text her he was going to be coaching at this moment. Did he tell her? Did she ask? Or did she ask Genny? Because Genny does not seem surprised to see her there and Tim does that adorable little 'hey' when he sees her like the adorable boy in love he is. But look at her there supporting her man. Giving him back-up when she sees him struggling to be a little more strict. Oh my god his face when she says 'friend'. He knows what that 'friend' means and he is very happy. Their little flirting with the ball. Genny pointedly not looking at them as they turn back around because she 100% knows and she's trying to give them their space until they're ready to tell her. Their little fumbles when Genny teases about how well they work together. How close they're constantly standing. Ahhhhh. Wes is probably making note of how close these two are standing so he can report back to Angela later. Tim's face when Lucy says Nolan is a badass in the streets. Hah. Oh my boy. He knows Nolan is vaguely badass as a cop, but he also knows Lucy is 100% the baddest of asses. Ugh, she's pure sunshine but that means her heart keeps getting broken a little bit every time she goes through shit like this. She's strong enough by far to handle it and stay a ray of pure sunshine, but it still hurts to see her hurt. Hello Elijah. I'm not sad to see you, I just know it'll mean more Monica soon. Ugh. My god Lucy and Tim are so married. Look at him reining her back in when she needs it, just like he does for her. God they'd be the best parents. I don't know if we'll ever get to that point on the show, even if they do get back together, but it's wonderful to think about. And I know it was part of a bet but their little high five turned hand holding is fucking adorable.

Angela and Nyla with front row seats to watch Chenford fail at pretending they're not together. It's probably one of their favourite pasttimes. Texting James and Wesley updates. 5x12 I know cold opens don't really count but Tim's face when he recognises Kelly. Grey's face too! What a secret fangirl. Tim letting his girl go in the elevator first as well, like the cutie he is. She was clearly further away and he held the door for her and waited for her to go in first. And then after Lucy speaks to Kelly, she looks up at Tim with this 'OHEMGEE' expression. You can imagine him trying to be all 'calm down' but secretly thrilled his wifey got to meet one of her singers. Tamara really should be a detective. But also oh my god just imagining her looking out the window or something and seeing Tim drop Lucy off. A little good night smooch. Can you just imagine her squealing a little on seeing them and realising they got their act together? Mildly furious Lucy hasn't told her yet and plotting when she'll corner her next and tease her until she slips? Lucy immediately replying that she knows exactly how she feels. It's the most amazing relationship of her life. The certainty she has in what she has with Tim, especially considering how unsure she's been in all her past relationships and even in herself. Being a cop and being with Tim. Those are the two things she knows without hesitation. OH MY GOD THE HANDS. THE HANDS. THEIR SMILES. BUT THE HANDS. LOOK AT THE HANDS. So desperate to touch each other even though they saw each other probably barely hours before. Tim trying to play it cool given what Lucy just told him. The looks they're giving each other right in front of everyone. Grey absolutely knows without question. My god you two you cannot be flirting this hard in the station. Also, Grey, please. Why would you assign Nolan to this. You have other officers. It doesn't have to be Nolan! This just seems like the worst idea. Nolan knows who Oscar is but he's not that hard of a book to read.

God I do love Oscar though. Annoyed he's bringing Jason back in S7 but I forgive him. Poor Angela when that realisation hits. God Lucy is just literal sunshine. Look at how she looks at him. I know some people don't like how she dealt with the whole Lucy lesson thing and the earrings, but she's Lucy. She's got this planned out. And Tim needed to be shown. Maybe there was a better way but everyone else has done a lot worse to prove a smaller point. And yes, I am happy to let Lucy slide on pretty much anything. I'm weak. But oh, Tim so frantic to help Lucy out. He's got it so bad.

They'll figure it out. New Chenford tag that one. And they will. But they need to start properly communicating. Hopefully in S7. And that means Lucy too, not just Tim. She puts the same walls up that he does, she deflects, and she spirals, hard. I get the spiralling, I really do, so I feel for her. But she has to communicate back when he opens up. Oh Angela, baby, no. Tim's smile dropping, hah. And yes, another classic communication. Her thinking they cancelled. It's small but it's there. God her smile though. And he can't help but smile back. Ugh. Monica. They only have two real options, and neither of them even takes a second to consider breaking up as an actual option. You know, despite the fact that yes, they shouldn't be riding together regularly if they're a couple, they still work so well together on the job. No matter what their relationship is like, they never have an issue once they're out on patrol. Her taking that bit of lint off his shirt. Tim forever refusing to accept that they're partners on the job and her little play shove. Uuuugh. The sad look of realisation she gets, knowing they won't be able to see each other as much. They've spent so long together, day in day out, before they were even close to being in a relationship, and now anything less is just not enough for them. Tim makes his mind up right in that moment that he'll be the one to change jobs. He doesn't want to see her any less either, but he can't see her sad like that for any longer than he can help it. Taking the bags from her uuuuuuugh these two MY HEART. Grey's been waiting for this conversation for so long. He's not oblivious. Look at that happy little smile he has for them. He knows it's going to be difficult for them, he knows it's not perfect, but he also knows how important this is. How important it must be to Tim, taking a desk job. But Grey can see the effect Lucy has had on him over the years. He's seen how happy he's become. Aaaand, while an incredibly sweet and romantic gesture, Tim making that decision without Lucy being involved is another sign of their communication issues in their personal lives. No sense in arguing about it. It's done. How much that echoes forwards to S6 when he decides alone that they have to break up. No arguing. It's done. Uuuuuugh these two better have the communication skills of a fucking poet in S7. Aaaaand what more can I saw about this scene. My god the UST. Their hands. Their smiles. Their eyes. Her face admiring him. His hand against the door to stop her head from hitting it. The giddy smiles disolving into intensity. The door slam. Her hair against the door pane. I CANNOT WITH THESE TWO.

[lou-struck]

Smile!

Atsumu Miya x Reader x Osamu Miya

~ The twins can't help but compete with each other, especially when you are in the 'picture'

This is my first time writing with two love interests so I hope I'm not leading one way over another. There isn't really an established relationship or anything like that, just them both pining after the reader who really is just enjoying the attention.

This another installment for my 300 followers event which you could find HERE. This event will be open for a bit longer if you want to check it out and make a request!!

One of the best things about being a college student is that you are not technically forced to go to class. Of course, there are participation grades and whatnot, but usually, students are allowed one or two free absences over the course of the semester, no questions, no haggling, and most importantly no reason to provide an excuse.

With this in mind, you and your other friends from your university all decided to ditch class and meet at the Amusement park. However, like any other college friend group, yours had a huge mix-up in communication. You and your car got to the park right at the opening while the others aren't planning on leaving till later in the afternoon.

This wouldn't be a problem but now your heart is beating out of your chest. You are basically alone in this big park with the stupidly attractive Miya twins. Although you are nowhere near as close to them as you would like to be, they insisted you rode down with them. Who are you to deny them and your hormones?

Not wanting to be the one to initiate the conversation you hang back a bit allowing the twins to talk and adorably bicker amongst themselves. But you miss the way they both glance your way in anticipation.

Since it's just the three of us for now, why don't we go on a few rides before it gets too busy?” Osamu suggests pulling you happily into their conversation.

“That’s a good idea, we should do some of the thrill rides since the lines are so short,” you say in agreement pointing out the first mega coaster on your path.

The lines are so sparse that all you need to do is walk straight through the ropes to get to the loading dock.

As you head to your seat the twins stop and stare at eachother, the ride only fits two people per row which means that whoever gets to your line first will be the one to you

You may be unaware at the time but both twins are crazy about you. It’s more than a competition. This is why they were so adamant about driving over the park with you.

With this in mind, both twins take off into an aggressive powerwalk. They stand shoulder to shoulder trying to get the upper hand.

Atsumu’s strides are slightly bigger but he puts too much weight against Osamu.

The grey-haired twin notices this and slows his step so Atsumu falls past him off balance. 

Smirking back at his fallen brother Osamu slides into his prized seat next to you as you try and reach the safety harness above your head from your seated position. He uses his longer arms to pull it down for you.

“There ya go, he winks patting the now secure harness. “I wouldn't want to lose ya up there.

“Thanks,” you say softly not trusting the words that leave your mouth. 

Was he flirting with you? No, you must be imagining it…

While you are sitting in denial of Osamu’s blatant flirting Atsumu stares daggers at his brother. “That was my move Samu,” he practically growls under his breath, it is drowned out by the instructions blasting over the speakers signaling the ride is about to take off.

Bracing yourself for takeoff you put your head back against the seat. Suddenly you Zip forward, tears of excitement form in your eyes as you twist and tumble across the track. The brothers are just as excited as they cheer loudly. The sense of freedom that the adrenaline of the ride gives you makes you want to throw your hands in the air to experience the weightlessness of the ride. The wind tenderly wraps around your limbs when the coaster dips. Suddenly you see the unmistakable flash of a camera, you are not sure whether you blinked before or after but no matter. You're still wondering this as the ride comes to a stop. 

The bar comes up and you spring out of your seat. “That was so fun,” you say panting out of breath.

“We should go on another one since it's not busy,” Osamu says looking at you with a flush on his cheeks.

“Not till I see that photo,” you say looking over at the screens in anticipation.

The twins try to shove past eachother to see the photo with Atsumu gaining the upper hand just as they stumble to the screen.

“Let’s see ere,” he says scanning for his blond head. His handsome face is blocked by the raised hands of his brother as he scowls at the screen

“Not fair, I wanted a photo with you too Y/n. he whines as his brother stifles a laugh.

“It’s not that great,” you say gesturing to the screen, “I totally blinked, let's go on another ride. Maybe I can keep my eyes open

“Next time I get to sit with ya, maybe I’ll be ya good luck charm,” Atsumu says softly taking your hand and leading you towards the next ride as your face heats up like a kettle on the stovetop.

Between the twins vying for your affections and the speeding coasters, the next few hours go by in a blur. But, no matter which brother sat next to you, you still managed to conveniently blink at the time every photo was taken. It’s annoying for sure, but you are filled with determination as you make your way through the log ride.

“Hey guys, maybe I can keep my eyes open this time?” you joke as the logs come into view. This time the ride sits three people per row which means you have the pleasure of being squeezed between the Miya twins.

The ride starts out slow with a few little drops, but everyone knows the camera is at the largest drop. It is approaching fast and you tighten your grip on the bar hoping that you can finally get a good ride picture not noticing the twins are sitting in mischievous silence beside you.

The front of your log dips forward before sliding down the track picking up speed.

Just as the camera flashes you feel something warm and soft brush against your cheeks. Almost touching the corners of your upturned mouth. 

You blink and the feeling is gone and you and the twins are pummeled with water from your descent. Water splashes all over you soaking through your t-shirt but you don't care, you really need to see that picture. Your shoes squelch on the pavement as you hurry to the photo kiosk while the twins follow close behind wondering if you even realized what happened on the ride.

Your feet come to a stop in front of the screen and your jaw drops, your eyes were open for once but in your determination to not have a bad photo, you barely registered that both twins leaned in to kiss you on the cheek just as the camera flashed.

But now you that you see it with your own eyes your heart feels like it's about to burst. You shyly look down at the floor. Osamu drapes his sweater over your shoulders while Atsumu goes to buy the picture.

"Ur eyes were open this time," the grey-haired twin says softly gently squeezing your shoulders.

"shuttup," you mumble relishing in the attention wondering if the heat in your cheeks will ever subside.

[unluckyhoneybee]

The Handsome Artist 18. (Daniel Ricciardo)

Australia. Danny is so happy to have Abi at home, so is everyone else.

MASTERLIST

Previous part: The Hoppers

Note: cheesiness, uncle Dan, farmer Dan. Just look at the gif. He had never looked better than in that gif.

Warning: long af. Mentions of smut but not explicitly.

Danny pulled my hand and we walked to our seats. Michael was sleeping but Blake was shaking his head. I blushed hard and Daniel chuckled. It was obvious. There was no way of hiding this.

"Sit baby"

I sat next to Blake and he looked at me with a smile.

"Good?"

"Yep"

He chuckled. Daniel sat on his place next to the window and sighed happy.

"Better than good, Blakey"

I slapped Danny's thigh and he giggled.

"Why are you dating him?" Blake said joking.

I looked at him and laughed.

"I still ask myself that question every morning."

"Oh, c'mon. I'm cute. Charming. Talented. And I have a bi-"

"Big ego?" I said crossing my arms. "So big, yes"

Blake was laughing next to me.

"I really like you, Abigail"

"Yeah? No pay back for you later" He said referring to our little scaped to the toilet.

"I can fix that myself" I replied in the most sassy way.

"Oh do you?"

"Mhm"

"No funny business in Australia for you then"

"Can you stop arguing about you sex life?" Michael groaned.

I blushed hard when a woman in the next row looked at us.

Daniel kissed my cheek.

"He is just jealous babe. And that woman? Haven't been touched since she retired" Danny whispered in my ear.

I covered my mouth to not laugh. I looked at him and he kissed my nose. He still had pink cheeks and the stupid smile he got after sex. I cupped his cheek gently and kissed him.

"Let's sleep for a bit, huh"

I nodded.

The next time I joke up, the for of us were snuggling against each other. I had my head on Blake's shoulder, Danny was almost laying on me and Michael was also laying on Blake. I moved and Daniel groaned. He sat straight and looked at me.

"Comfy?"

I nodded.

"Blake is comfy, yeah"

I smiled and moved so I was laying on him now, he lifted his arm and hugged me against him. Then kissed my head.

"I'm happy you are here. They wouldn't have blow..."

"Danny..." I groaned.

He giggled and caressed my face.

"Sleep. Only an hour left."

We landed at 8.45pm and I was exhausted. My back hurted and even my clothes bothered.

We were crossing the airport and the guys were all bubbly and happy to be back home, which was amazing.

And suddenly...

"Guys!"

We all looked at the right and Daniel laughed. He literally let his suitcase fall and ran to his mum and dad, engulfing both of them in a big hug. I felt a warm feeling on my chest.

Carefully, I picked Danny's suitcase and waited for them to get their grettings. I was supposed to be a surprise so...

Daniel still had an arm around his mum shoulders and a hand on his dad's. He was talking to them with a smile and suddenly the three of them turned to me. They had the biggest smiles.

"There you have them" Michael said pushing me slightly. "Go"

I bit my lip and nodded.

I left my things there with them and walked to the Ricciardos.

"Oh Abigail" Grace scaped Dan's grip and walked to me, hugging me so hard and making me laugh. "I'm so happy, dear. So so happy. I knew you were the one."

I hugged her tight and smiled. This meant a world to me. I have been feeling insecure this days. Even though Daniel had told me so many times that it would be fine, I felt like I would be intruding on their lifes.

"I'm so happy you are here, really." She said pulling back and touching my cheek. "Thank you for coming with him. I know he is a bit difficult sometimes."

"Mum..."Danny groaned.

"it's fine, Grace. He usually behaves." I said giggling.

He hugged me again and laughed.

"I'm so happy. You are so nice together"

"Let me say hi to my daughter in law."

I blushed when I heard that. Joe gave me a nice hug.

"I'm also happy, you know?"

"Of course, Joe"

"Congratulations."

I smiled.

"Thank you"

He leaned on my ear.

"Take care of him"

It took me a bit by surprise, but I nodded.

"Of course"

"Dad. Don't scare her, man."

"I'm not!"

"The guys! Sorry guys, I forgot about you. I didn't know Abigail was coming, it's a big surprise" Grace walked to the guys and hugged them.

I felt Danny's hand on my waist and looked at him.

"Welcome home" He said.

I laid my hand on his chest and felt his heart beating hard. He leaned and kissed me deeply, but I pulled back.

"Dan..."

He chuckled.

"Let's go, I got something for dinner ready and we still have a some time on the road.

They had a big car and all of us fitted inside. Daniel was holding my hand the whole time, pointing at things throgh the window and telling me about all the things he wanted to do. We dropped Mike and Blake at home and then headed to the farm. I fell asleep without noticing, only waking up when Danny touched my cheek.

"Sweetheart, we are at home"

I smiled and looked in front of me. The house was big. It was so big.

"Oh wow"

Once we got inside, I couldn't stop looking around.

"Do you like it?" Grace touched my arm.

"It's beautiful, Grace."

There were many plants, as Daniel had told me when I gifted him Elisa.

"Feel at home."

"Yeah, this will be for Danny and you once we..." Joe started.

"Joe! We are still young"

I giggled.

"Hey, love. I'm going up to shower and get some comfy clothes."

"Oh yeah. I'm going with you"

"Show her were everything is!"

"Yes mum!"

Daniel showed me the place. Upstairs, there were 4 bedrooms. The main one for Grace and Joe was the first on the corridor. He said there was a toilet inside. Then there was another one with bunk beds and toys, the names Izzy and Isaac written on the walls.

I looked at Daniel, who was looking at the room. He was deep in his thoughts and when I grabbed his hand, he shook his head.

"This room is half finished." He said

I nodded. There were empty spaces.

"They asked for a room for grandkids when they got this build"

I took a deep breath and hugged his waist. What happened to him didn't only happen to him. It affected everyone around. I got on my tip toes and kissed his cheek.

He sighed.

"Come here." He opened another room. "This is Michelle's room. She comes on weekends" Then he opened another door right in front. "And this is my... Our room" He smiled to himself. "Our room. And our bed, our wardrobe..."

I hugged him and kissed his lips.

"How happy are you?"

He cupped my cheeks.

"I think I haven't been happier."

"You are so cute"

He kissed my cheek.

"Thank you for coming. Have you seen how happy they are?"

I nodded.

"I told you"

It made me laugh.

"You were dying to say that, weren't you?"

"Fuck yes, I was."

I kissed him again.

"I'll shower first so you can have your time, okay?"

I nodded.

As he showered, I looked around the bedroom. There were some of his drawings on the wall, a big desk with some lights. A metal box similar to those I had seen on his studio. The bedsheets were blue. Then I moved to the window and looked outside. I could only see the big eucalyptus and... Wow. A big pool. It was so big.

Soon he was out of the shower with a towel hanging way too low on his hips.

"Dan. How much money does wine give?"

He chuckled.

"We do quite good. To be good. The whole country has Ricciardo wine. And we export to some other places too."

"That's a big ass pool"

"And it's warm"

I gasped.

"Can we swim? I didn't..."

"You don't need it" He said pinching my ass.

"No. No. Not if your parents are..."

"Shh. They always have dinner with some friends on the city on Fridays"

My cheeks warmed.

"So..."

"You, me, the farm, the stars..."

I laughed.

"You are the biggest idiot"

He laughed and patted my ass. Go and shower.

I did and it felt like heaven. Soon we were having dinner in the kitchen.

"I talked to Michelle and told her that maybe you could pick the kids from school."

Daniel nodded.

"Yeah, of course."

"But... They don't know about Abigail"

I smiled.

"They will freak out" Danny said.

"I can't wait to see them" I said with a smile. Those little kids had my heart since moment one.

"They liked you a lot." Joe said. "Isabella only talks about you if she sees a little plant or flower. And Isaac thought about calling you for his homework"

I gasped.

"Really? He should have called!"

"The little man forgot he had those homework, got nervous and starter doing them the night before"

Daniel laughed.

"That's my guy"

Grace hit his arm.

"Oh" I giggled.

"So... We can pick them from school and go and get some ice cream"

"It's winter, Daniel" Grace said.

"And? Ice cream is delicious in winter too. Right, Abi?"

"It is"

Joe laughed.

"Let them spoil the kids."

Exhaustion got us pretty quickly after dinner, so Danny and I went to bed.

We washed our teeth together and I went to the bed before, leaving him on the toilet. I laid down and sighed. The bed felt like a hug.

"I'm so tired"

He climbed on the bed and spooned me, kissing my cheek and then leaning on my shoulders.

"How tired?"

I looked at him.

"Why?"

"Well..." With a hand on my waist, he pressed himself against me.

I bit my lip.

"You are insatiable, right?"

He kissed my cheek and then my neck.

"What do you say?"

I smiled and reached to push down my trousers, which made him smile and hugged me tight from behind. There is no need to say that we both fell asleep quite happy and relaxed that night.

Jet lag kicked hour asses, Grace had to wake us up for lunch. And even after that, we had to sleep a bit more, this time, curled around each other in the sofa. It felt domestic and real. It was hour first time sharing a space like this and if felt good already.

By the afternoon, Danny took his old truck from the parking lot in the farm. It was a metallic building full of tractors and other farming machines. We saw a couple of workers from the farm before leaving.

"There is a cattle down there. I'm sure that Isaac will want you to see it. Izzy is a little princess and doesn't like the smell, though."

"They are so cute"

He took my hand and put it on his lap.

"Can I ask something?"

I nodded.

"Do you miss them? In some way."

I took a deep breath.

"I do. They took a little piece of my heart. When I saw Izzy crying after the barbecue..."

"Yeah, that was hard. It was pretty hard to calm her down after you left"

I gasped.

"She spent the afternoon curled on my lap"

"Oh" I bit my lip. "I didn't know..."

"It's fine. That's how it is. We live far away. It's normal that they miss... Us" He looked at me.

I kissed his hand.

"Danny."

"Mhm"

"Once we are back... Can I talk to them? M-maybe when you call them or... I don't know."

"What's in that head of yours?" He said smiling softly.

"Well... We are together now... I'm your girlfriend."

"Mhm"

"They are... My family now, right?"

"I love you" He blurted out a second later.

I gasped.

Quite harshly, Daniel pulled aside and stopped the car before turning to me. He cupped my cheeks and kissed me deeply. I grabbed into him and kiss back just as deep.

He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.

He pulled back and made me look at him in the eyes.

"I love you, okay? That's it. I have for a while. And it's okay if you don't feel like that yet. It's fine. Trust me. Just take your time. I wanted you to know. And yes. You are a part of my family. And I love that. And obviously you can talk to them. I want you to. I want you to have the best relationship with them. I want the kids to call you Auntie if that's fine with you, and I want Isaac to call for help if he can't finish his homework, and I want Izzy to have her own flower shop because you inspired her. I want you around. I want you to be another one of us."

"I'm gonna cry, you fucking prick"

He chuckled and hugged me. I cried. I obviously cried. He let me be, caressing my hair and kissing my cheek once in a while.

"I-I have no words" I whispered

He kissed my lips.

"You have all the time you want to find them" He kissed me once more.

"Thank you"

We shared a moment of silence.

"Wow. Um... We should go" He said.

"We should"

I was still a bit taken aback by his words. I couldn't stop looking at him. He was driving and biting his lips, probably trying to not smile like a kid or something.

"I'm so happy your brought me here" I told him. "It's a lot for me"

He took my hand once more.

"It means to much for me that you want me this close. More even knowing what happened."

He shot a quick glance to me.

"I trust you. I know that you won't ever do something like that. Even... Even if this doesn't work out. Which I'm gonna make sure that happens. I'm gonna make this works. We are. But even if we end up following different paths... I trust you. An I'll always love you and... "

"Don't make me cry more, Daniel."

He laughed.

"If you are here is because I feel safe and loved around you and I trust you."

I nodded and clean my tears.

"Stop making me cry, pretty please"

"Okay love." He said smiling.

We arrived at the school on time and we walked to the door. He had his arm around me.

"I can't wait to see their faces." He said.

"Do they know you are here or that's a surprise to?"

"They think I will arrive for the weekend"

"Uncle Dan?! Abi?!" Isaac was there standing with his mouth agape and big eyes. "You are here!"

The kid started running and Daniel let go of me. I was there with my phone ready to take lots of pics.

"Uncle Dan!" Isaac was so happy, hugging Daniel so hard and laughing.

"Little man! I missed you so much"

Daniel pushed him a bit and messed with his hair, making the boy chuckle.

"Stop!"

"Say hi to Abi"

Isaac looked at me and smiled. I knelt.

"Hi, Isaac"

He hugged me tight.

"Hi, Abi"

"How are you, sweet boy?"

"I'm fine. Mum says I'm taller"

Danny chuckled.

"You are. You are super tall"

"Yeah, buddy. You've grown a lot."

I pinched the kid's cheek.

"Uncle Dan?"

We all looked. There she was, with her hair in a ponytail and a shy look on her eyes.

"Izzy! Come here, princess"

She didn't move. Instead, she looked at me.

"Hi, Izzy"

I got up.

"Isabella?" Daniel walked to her. "What's up, princess?"

She hugged Daniel's leg.

"Hey..."

I looked at Isaac.

"Is Izzy fine?"

He nodded.

"She is shy"

"Okay"

Daniel was trying to get her to talk.

"Izzy, princess. Hey... Do you want me to pick you up?"

She nodded and Daniel took her on his arms. He walked to me.

"Sweetie?" I touched her back and she hid a bit.

"Izzy, Abi is here. She came to see you" Daniel said.

"Dan. It's fine. She didn't expect us here today. Let's go and have those ice creams, okay?"

"Ice cream?!" Isaac took mh hand excited. "I'm winter?!"

"Yes buddy. Let's go and have some ice cream."

Izzy moved a bit and looked at me, but didn't say anything.

I helped Isaac with his seat belts while Danny sat Izzy on her seat. She reached and brought him closer.

"Hi uncle Dan." She said with a smile. He touched her nose and smiled.

"Hi, princess."

We drove them to their favourtie shop. Isaac was talking nonstop about Perth, he was just like Dan last night.

"Look! The pet shop! They sell spiders in there!" He giggled.

"There are spiders at home. Why do they sell them" Isabella asked.

"I don't know. It's silly" Isaac answered.

Arrived to the shop and both kids took Danny's hands.

"Oreos and... Vainilla!" Isaac said.

"Okay, Nutella for me and for the lady..."

"Mango, please"

"And the little princess?"

She looked at me and pulled Danny's hand. He sighed and leaned. She whispered on his ear.

"Strawberries" Daniel pulled his wallet out. "Go with Abi to the table, okay?"

I walked with them, Izzy still in silence. I helped Isaac first with his coat and then looked at her.

"Do you need help?" I said smiling.

She blushed and nodded. I helped her and she whispered a little thank you.

"Are you and Uncle Dan going to stay too long?" Isaac asked.

"For seventeen days"

He gasped and smiled.

"That's a lot! Have you ever come here?"

"Nop"

"And did you like the farm? Did you see the sheep? And the pool? The water is warm and you can swim in winter."

"We didn't have time. But I really want to see the sheep" I said smiling.

"They smell so bad" Izzy said while looking at her hands.

"You are so boring" Her brother said.

"Oh, I'm sure she likes other things about the farm"

"The grapes. She eats them but Uncle Dan and Grampa don't know" Isaac said giggling.

"Little Izzy eats my grapes?"

Izzy looked up in panic.

"Isaac it was a secret!" She said with teary eyes.

"Oops" The boy giggled.

I looked at Dan and pointed at Izzy, who was on the verge of tears.

"Isabella." Danny sat. "You can eat my grapes if you give me something"

"Do you want my piggy? I have coins"

I covered my mouth. She was so sweet.

"Nah. Give me a kiss." Danny tapped his cheek.

She leaned and kissed his cheek.

"One kiss. One grape. One big hug. Ten grapes." He said.

It made my heart beat so fast. He was so good and caring with them.

"She will need to give you a million hugs then" Isaac said laughing.

Izzy blushed, but she didn't had tears anymore.

"How many grapes have you been eating?" Danny said tickling her.

Izzy jumped from her seat and unexpectedly, she leaned on me.

"Abi, help me"

I smiled and sat her on my lap.

"Enough, Danny!" I said laughing and slapping Dan's hands away.

"Oh, so now you have Auntie Abi to protect you, huh?"

We all stayed still.

"Auntie Abi?" Isaac asked slowly. "Abi is our Aunt"

Daniel looked at me and bit his lip blushing.

"She is."

Isabella looked up.

"Really?"

"Yes" I said.

She smiled so big.

"Aren't you shy anymore?" Daniel said pinching her.

"Your ice creams"

The waiter brought our ice creams and the kids got excited about it. Daniel looked at me and smiled.

"Can I sit here?" Izzy said.

"Of course, sweetie"

She stayed on my lap for the whole afternoon. We ate our ice creams and they told us about school. Isaac omitted his little accident with the plants homework but Izzy was quick with her revenge.

"And he almost didn't have time to finish" She said putting a spoon full of ice cream on her mouth. "Mum got angry"

"You have to do you homework on time, mate" Daniel said pinching his arm.

"I forgot" He shrugged.

After that, they insisted on having a walk around. They showed me some of their favorite places, the park they played in, the kindergarten where Izzy was last year, the place where Michelle worked... And then we went to their house where their mum was already there.

She hugged me so tight, telling me over and over again how happy she was for us.

"Mum. Can we go and have dinner at the farm tomorrow?" Isaac asked.

"of course"

Izzy touched my hand and I crouched down. She gave me a hug.

"Hi, Abi"

I smiled and caressed her hair.

"Hi, Izzy"

"I'm happy you are here" She said and kissed my cheek.

"I'm happy to be here too. Your house is really pretty. And I already like Perth a lot."

She smiled so big.

"I like you home too"

Danny's phone rang.

"It's mum. We should get going Abi"

"See you tomorrow, Auntie Abi"

I smiled.

"Bye bye, Izzy"

The kids said bye to us and went to change their clothes.

Michelle looked at me.

"Auntie?"

"It's all Danny's fault" I said laughing.

"I guess."

Next part: Perth.

Taglist: @d0ntjudgemy50shades @controsnes   @thybulleric   @ln15  @lcuppo  @priylodhasstuff  @shadowbowgirl13   @txtflxx @scotlynaurora @chxrryrose  @f1-incorrect-s @yearsof-war @earfquak3 @amsofftrack @xgallysonegoodlung

[skamenglishsubs]

Subtext and Culture, Young Royals, Season 1, Episode 2

Episode 2 picks up the morning day after the initiation party, the girls are having breakfast lunch at their dorm, the boys at theirs, and everyone wants the juicy details about what happened at the party...

Culture: Tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far? Although, it's pretty funny how the roles are reversed, Maddie is all "meh" about it, while Nils tells a different story. Then again, since when do you get together after a blowjob?

Culture: I actually have no idea why Simon is having breakfast at Skogsbacken, since regular schools only cover lunch for students, everyone eats breakfast at home, and then goes to school. Then again, it allows a scene where (Never mind, they're having lunch, thanks @kamand !) Blink and you miss it: Wilhelm casts some nervous glances at Simon after having been called out for disappearing at the party and almost forced to confess to making out with someone.

Culture: I know Felice is trying to put August down, but don't knock a proper Swedish pizza! As much as I like living in the US, they can't fucking make pizzas here, and the first thing I eat every time I go back to Sweden is always a real pizza. With pineapple and shrimp as God intended pizza to be made!

Culture: August is namedropping ski resorts in the Alps, which is where you go skiing in Europe if you have money, although Saint-Martin-de-Belleville is actually near Val Thorens in France, while Verbier is in Switzerland. It does have a three-star restaurant, though. Sweden and Norway have a couple of decent ski resorts, but the Scandinavian mountain chain is simply not as impressive as the Alps.

Subtext: Remember Wilhelm getting up and hurrying to math class in the beginning of the scene? It was so he could grab the other seat next to Simon, because he knows Simon is gonna sit next to Sara, since no-one else does.

Culture: Formally greeting your teacher before class is very uncommon in Sweden, but since Hillerska is all about discipline and tradition, of course they do it. Note that they're again using the formal Swedish title for male teachers, Magister, which in a regular school would be kind of a joke, since teachers and students are on a first-name basis with each other.

Subtext: Wilhelm is exposing how the world works if you have money. At Simon's old school, studying alone would result in good grades, but Hillerska is slightly corrupt and almost expects the students to essentially pay for getting a good grade.

Subtext: Simon is lying to his teacher, he absolutely hasn't talked to his parents about paying for private lessons.

Subtext: No, Sara absolutely does care about what other people think about her, and when she directly tells Felice that she would actually like some friends, that's when Felice gets it and starts making an effort to become real friends with her.

Culture: They're all bilingual at Simon's home, they're all speaking Spanish and Swedish, although Linda has a very noticeable accent to her Swedish. Based on demographics and statistics, the most likely scenario is that Linda immigrated to Sweden from Chile, met Micke, and started a family. In real life, Omar Rudberg was born in Venezuela and grew up in Sweden, while Carmen Gloria Pérez was born in New York, and grew up in Puerto Rico.

Subtext: Remember how I talked in the intro post about how distant social classes know nothing of each other? Ayub and Rosh are either working class or lower middle class like Simon, and since rowing is a typical upper class sport, they know nothing of it, they don't even think of it as a real sport. Unlike football, which is a proper working class sport, they know all about that!

Subtext: Scandinavia has Jantelagen, and everyone there thinks it's uniquely Scandinavian, but all countries have some form of Tall Poppy Syndrome. In this scene, Simon is starting to make a class journey, he started rowing, he started trying to fit in with the other upper-class kids, and getting into a relationship with someone as upper-class as Wilhelm would definitely move him all the way. But going on a journey means leaving things behind, which is why Rosh and Ayub are cutting him down and literally turning their backs on him. They like it in the small town of Bjärstad, why can't he be happy there too? Why is he betraying his roots?

Subtext: This comment from August nicely foreshadows a later episode when August does something traceable on a School computer...

Subtext: What August means is that he's not sure Wilhelm has the same desire to be accultured into the upper class, to play the part of a proper prince, in the same way that he and Erik have accepted their roles and are even enjoying them.

Culture: Although it's impossible to read the name of the medicine, the paper tag on the bottle indicates that it's some kind of prescription medicine. From the conversation with Vincent, we learn that it's some kind of ADHD medication, probably some kind of Dextroamphetamine since those improve athletic ability and cognitive functions in healthy people.

Culture: Birkenstock sandals are associated with hippies in Sweden as well as in many parts of the world, so August is actually saying that the school counselor isn't really part of the same upper-class society as the rest of the staff. And again, his use of the word sosse drives the point home.

Subtext: Consequently, the counselor sees right through August and refuses to immediately prescribe him the medication that he wants...

Subtext: ...even though August tries to both bribe him and threaten him into giving him the medication he wants.

Subtext: A big theme of this episode is class journeys, and in this scene and a previous exercise scene, August gushes about how good a thing that is, how proud he is of Simon for going on one, and spouts some crap about how everyone can make it if they really want to.

Subtext: Thankfully, Madison says what we're all thinking: August is full of shit, life isn't fair, and they're only at the school because they were born into privilege.

Blink and you miss it: After Wilhelm has nervously texted his crush for the first time, he starts to bite his fingernails, but quickly stops himself, because why would he be nervous? He's just texting another boy about rowing practice, there's nothing more to it!

Subtext: Simon's texting game is on point though, he knows exactly what he should write to get Wilhelm to go on a totally-not-a-date with him.

Subtext: In the same way that August couldn't convince the counselor about being sick, I don't think Wilhelm's atrocious acting here convinces August that he's sick either.

Culture: Public transport in the greater Stockholm area - or wherever we're supposed to be - is of course cash-less, and you pay by either charging a special card, or by signing up in their app and buying tickets through there. The point of this scene though is to drive home how Wilhelm has never ever had to take the bus before in his life, and therefore has no idea how it works.

Culture: The totally-not-a-date starts at a Circle K, which in Sweden is just another gas station, but it is actually a Canadian multi-national convenience store corporation. The price of gas is of course posted in kr/l, and 13.98kr/l corresponds to roughly $6/gal.

Subtext: Throughout the totally-not-a-date, Wilhelm is trying to reach for common ground with Simon, trying to show him how he's just a regular guy...

Subtext: ...but then real life intrudes, Wilhelm is recognized by some local girls, who call out to him and run away giggling, which shows how he's not a regular guy, he's going to get recognized wherever he goes.

Culture: Kokt eller grillat, boiled or grilled, are the two ways you can get your hot-dog at pretty much any hot-dog place in Sweden, and ketchup and mustard is always offered. The correct answer to this question is of course grilled, with ketchup and mustard, and this just shows that Wilhelm is a man of culture and good taste. Unfortunately, they were out grilled ones, so they all got boring soggy boiled hot-dogs instead. Is there a metaphor here? I don't know.

Subtext: Again, the show drives home the point that absolutely no-one has a problem with people being gay. Simon is clearly out to Ayub and the rest of his friends, and Ayub immediately picks up on the fact that this is totally a date.

Blink and you miss it: Ayub nudges Simon with his elbow to tell him that he should make a move on Wilhelm.

Culture: What we're looking at is just the local junior/high school football team, Bjärstad, playing a match against some other unnamed junior football team. Since the stakes are super low, the audience basically consists of whichever parents and friends of the players that could be bothered showing up.

Culture: Driving age is 18 in Sweden, and even then getting your own car at that age is extremely uncommon. However, you can easily get a license for a moped when you turn 15, so these are the vehicles of choice for teenagers to get around.

Subtext: August found out about Wilhelm's trip to town, but his main problem with it is that he wants Wilhelm to stop slumming it with lower class people, and to start hanging out with everyone at school instead, so that he can be properly accultured into the upper class. Again, sosse in this context means working class, not socialist.

Subtext: Although Simon felt really great about his first date with Wilhelm, the text message reminds him that Wilhelm isn't a regular person, and that even this innocent little trip generates interest and scrutiny, and can't be posted publicly.

Culture: As everyone should have noticed by now, Madison keeps speaking English, while everyone speaks to her in Swedish, so clearly she understands it. But here she gives her motivation for sticking to English, and that is that she doesn't feel she's good enough at speaking Swedish. Boarding schools like Hillerska attracts international students that have some kind of connection to the country, so a likely scenario is that Madison grew up in the US with a Swedish parent, and she's being sent here to experience Swedish culture and get immersed in the language to learn it better.

Cinematography: This shot of August drives really home all the pressure he is under, he's out of drugs, the headmistress just hinted that he's out of money, and he's literally being weighed down by books and work-out weights.

Subtext: Simon has kept his visits to Micke a secret from Sara, so here he has to intervene to make sure August doesn't accidentally reveal this to her. He also wants to protect his sister, so he's redirecting August's search for drugs onto himself.

Subtext: And on the flipside, Simon isn't really telling his dad that Sara still hates him and really doesn't want to see him, so he's vague when Micke asks about Sara and Linda.

Culture: Finally a bottle of medicine where we can read the label! Unfortunately for Simon, this is Tramadol, an opiate prescribed for pain relief, which is the complete opposite of the kind of drugs August wants.

Subtext: If you haven't figured out yet that this episode is about class journeys, August spells it out for us here. However, the reason he's "congratulating" Simon in front of everybody is because Simon just supplied him with more drugs, so this is his way of thanking him, since he can't really pay him.

Blink and you miss it: For a split second, Wilhelm grabs Simon's leg during the scary scene.

Subtext: The entire dialogue of the movie works as subtext for what's actually going on between Wilhelm and Simon at this point, and Wilhelm is getting a little freaked out by this sneaky display of affection.

Subtext: The movie also puts words on the implications of Wilhelm getting together with a boy, what about having kids in the future? Can you carry on your family name and traditions, or will they die with you?

Lost in translation: The plaque actually says "FEEL YOUR RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE HERITAGE". Even though the plaque means the heritage and legacy of the school itself, Wilhelm is thinking about his legacy, his heritage, and how getting together with Simon would threaten that.

Lost in translation: Wilhelm actually says "jag är inte en..." - "I'm not a..." before he stops himself. So it's not possible that he was trying to say "I'm not gay", because that doesn't work grammatically in Swedish either. He could be trying to say "I'm not a guy like that" or "I'm not a guy who likes guys", that would work.

Cinematography: The framing and silhouetting of this shot is just chef's kiss. The outline of their hair allows us to see who is who, and we can see from their poses that Simon is welcoming a kiss, while Wilhelm is still hesitating.

[luckyshotwrites]

Ch. 34 // I’m Going to Bed // Day 22

Contents (Warnings): soft teasing, unwilling vore attempt, character shenanigans, a little tiny sprinkle of angst, more character information, and further monster/magic explanations. (Finally done with Life Festival Day 1, wooo!!).

Wordcount: 4136

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(Oct. 7th Friday)

Zane carried the super large pizza as I bumbled around, knowing good and well the slightest breeze would send me onto the ground.

He set down the pizza on the table. The other, people eaters, were chilling at their own table waiting for us to finish our food and for the boss and Sandra to close up shop, later than the time they agreed upon.

I noticed one of the new girls I was introduced to wasn't around. Beatrice, right? I questioned in my head.

I quickly grabbed a slice as I saw Zane nearly inhale his which was about the size of my forearm. Tila and June were eating it.

Maybe now that I offered them pizza, they’ll tell me what they are? I asked. I now knew Zilla and Zane were mixed with a mimic and naga. Please don't make me think about how that happened. I begged my thoughts. I knew Drake was a vampire beast, Alexander was half and half, Lev was a dragon…Are there different types of dragons? Wait-dang it. He won’t tell me if I ask him! He’d probably give me a counter offer.

I glanced up and across the table. The one known as Elliot slept again. He looked a little less human now with giant clawed hands over his head, and soft little perks for sharp ears.

Should I bother him? What if he does something? No. This is probably the only time I can say something to any of them. I’m safe. Plus, I don’t work on any of their shifts.

“Hey, Elliot-” I called quietly. 

I noticed a twitch at his ears, he lifted his head up and he silently glared with his thistle brown eyes.

“Pizza.” I said, pointing down to it with my free hand. 

He pushed himself up, “thanks.”

And I studied his jaw, it looked like the flesh at his cheeks was missing or replaced with a hollow blackness and I could see his lips as his lips were nonexistent.

He yawned, revealing another row on the inside past the ones that were visible on the outside. I inched back as he crunched through the pizza.

What is he?! He is by far the scariest looking one. 

I felt Zane move toward me again. I pulled my pizza close, “you’re not-” I didn’t let him even get the chance and took my first bite. And immediately looked down at the triple meat. I glared at the other table even though no one was paying attention. 

How can they tell me, people taste better than this!?! I didn’t know if it was due to my hunger, or if the pizza was that good.

I assumed our pizza was phenomenal as I saw repeat customers at least once a week if not more. Understandably so as the crust was crisp and evenly garlic buttered, each bite contained a good chunk of meat and the cheese had that gooey pull that most cheap ones didn’t. 

Maybe I should consider it a blessing that I hadn't tried it until now, because I would have this every day if I could. I said in my head. They should all just eat this instead. 

We finished it off and got ready to head out. Edgar texted the message in the group chat with everyone that were going to meet at Skyler’s Concert. I wondered if Beatrice and Tristan would show up too…

Alexander

He grumbled in his head. I hate being hungry, damn it. I ate that other human for a good three hours. And even after the fight I didn’t waste that much energy…I had Lynette this morning too. He scanned over as he kept her from walking out in the open. 

Alexander forced a gulp. What the hell is going on? He blamed the current atmosphere. There were a bunch of awful smelling monsters around him, so Lynette’s already sweet aroma was vastly more noticeable. 

I need to eat. He thought to himself.

Edgar’s voice called his attention. He didn’t notice Edgar slowed down to walk next to her. Him and Drake have such a lack of presence.

“How are you enjoying your time, Lynette?” 

She chuckled, “oh, it’s very-uh-different.” 

He gave a pleasant smile, “different in a good way I hope! And hopefully Alexander took you to a few fun events, as a good supervisor should.” 

His red hue looked at Alexander playfully. Lev brings humans back all the time, but no, go ahead, punish me, ya old bastard. Alexander squinted at the man in response, though he couldn’t hide his smile.   

“I went to an event and a lot of shops.” She gestured to the backpack, then almost fell back but caught herself and continued, “and by the way that pizza was amazing! Now I think I understand why we have so many customers.”

Edgar gasped, “You’ve never had our pizza after all this time? Dear girl, it’s free for employees! You just need to ask!”

“I-I never got the chance.”

“Why, you have all lunch-” he stopped and heartily chuckled, “ah, right. I always forget. Because unlike the other humans I’ve hired, you continue to remain an excellent, punctual employee.” He tapped at his chest and bowed to her, “and I for one am very glad I hired you.”

Lynette grew embarrassed. “Oh-thanks.” 

Edgar looked back at Alexander with his charming, fatherly smile. “You picked a fine employee.”

“Not on purpose, Edgar.” Alexander mumbled, sheepishly. Edgar came around, patted his back, and gave Alexander a warning with his eyes, “do not eat her today or tomorrow. Or I will punish you.”

Edgar could tell, much like Drake, which annoyed him. He felt relieved when Edgar walked to talk to the others. 

And speaking of Drake, he noticed him eyeing Lynette from behind again. 

He’s just as bad as me, but his dad doesn’t tell him anything. Alexander grumbled as he rolled the thought around in his head. Drake’s usually a lot calmer. Maybe he’s feeling the same insane pull? There’s something just wrong with her right? 

His eyes went ahead to Lev next. However, Lev didn’t notice as he was chatting with Zane. 

“Xander, you’re gonna make me push into one of these buildings.” Lynette said.

He stiffened up, saw he had gravitated closer to her which made her move away. Why does she have to be so small? He asked himself as she had to fully tilt her head up to look at his face.

The constant background chatter and noises captured his attention. “My bad.” He simply replied.

He sealed his lips after and created some distance. Just forget she exists for now. He begged his body as he still couldn't get the thought of how perfectly sized she was out of his head.

…

Lynette

He either scowls or yells at me. I sighed, deciding it was best to ignore it and continued to look over the buildings and circus like tents, each seeming to hold something big inside. Like these monsters. I tried to lighten myself up.

At this point we roaming the events zone once more. There were a few small food areas, but overall it sang with liveliness. Many more masses of species, tall, small, old, and young. And our party finally slowed down at one of the boards. I tried to speed read the English text at the bottom.

Big Event Stations: 

Ronai Concert (Left court stage, Show time: Friday, October 6th 7:45 p.m. til 8:45 p.m.)

End Tilt Concert (Left court stage, Show time: Friday, October 6th 9:00 p.m. til 10:00 p.m.)

Vertical Join (Center Pathian, Show time: All Day Friday, October 6th and Saturday, October 7th)

Magic Bests (Left Tower, Show time: Friday, October 6th 5:15 p.m. til 8:00 p.m.)

Mayhem Maze (Bottom Right Castle, Show time: All Day Friday, October 6th and Saturday, October 7th)

How to Hide (Left Tower, Show time: Friday, October 6th 9:00 p.m. til 11:00 p.m.)

Sweets Party (Center Pink House, Show time: All Day Saturday, October 7th)

Old History (Right Speckled Tent, Show time: Saturday, October 7th 4:00 p.m.)

I couldn’t read anything else, not even the descriptions with each of them as Alexander tugged on the bag.

“Hey!” I exclaimed.

“Everyone’s leaving, keep up, shrimp.”

I pouted, regained my bearings and grumbled following behind him. He wasn't lying, everyone did leave the board. But, I at least wanted to look at more events.

He took me to a stage, Ronai was coming up. I guessed that was the one we were waiting for. I was about to check the time but a few of the crew floated to the woman who sat at the end of the stage, her legs hanging off. And what I assumed were bandmates came up behind her chatting with them as well. I wanted to move closer, but saw someone approaching me.

“Oh, hey, it’s the human from the night crew.” Beatrice said.

I was wondering where she was. She was still in her human form. And then my eyes went to the small little turtle cake she had in her hands. 

“That’s adorable!” I appreciated the detail, it almost looked real except for the cartoony face. 

“And good too.” She said and took a bite out of it. It was filled with whip cream. 

“Where did you get it?” I looked behind her as if it was close. Almost tipping over.

“Sweets House, they’re having a big sweets event tomorrow.” She said in between bites. “She makes a lot of cool looking treats, plus she fills each one with a lot of energy.”

They have food that’s energy filled YET still- I lifted up my finger behind her, “are they still open?”

“Nope, she closed up early to prepare for the event tomorrow.” Beatrice happily ate the last bite. “I’ll be happy to accompany you to get more tomorrow though~” She crouched down to be a little closer to my height, about as tall as Zilla.

“Sure-” I didn’t know what to say to her. “If you’d be willing to show me.”

“Then it’s a date, honey.”

Date? Honey? A friend date, right? I asked in my head, unable to say it outloud as Beatrice’s attention went to the person behind me. 

“Skyler, sweetie.~” Beatrice chirped.

I turned around, face met with her lower abdomen.

She waved to Beatrice with a happy, “yo yo, queen.” She leaned down, looking over my face, closely and I couldn’t back up because of the weight of the bag. “You’re the pizzeria’s new coworker right? Names Skyler,” She said with a wide smile that curled up and opened a little at her cheek, splitting the flesh and showing teeth. 

I stared at it and she put her hand up, backing up, “sorry, my body gets excited very easily.” The corner that split open revealing fell back to normal.

“Y-you’re alright-” I wanted to ask what exactly happened but refrained, “and I’m Lynette.” I offered a hand out of reflex. I couldn't take it back because she went to initiate the handshake back. Even with our clear height difference.

Her hand split open and I jumped back as a tongue came out from in it and licked over my palm.

"Quit it," she muttered holding her hand back, before giving me a quick once over. “Ah, sorry-”

Is her whole body a bunch of mouths in a trench coat? I asked myself.

"There you are, hey, Lynette, and welcome back, Beatrice!” Edgar joined us then gestured up to Skyler while looking at me, “she’s one of the affiliations that do entertainment in our pizzeria." He chuckled, "we had to cancel a month or so before you came along given the whole monster disaster, but her band and a few other groups will be coming back to give our spot entertainment again, next month.”

“O-oh. Cool.” I said. So our pizzeria’s going to be even livelier soon…oh boy. 

“I’ll make sure we give you a nice introduction to our band tonight, Lynette to make up for early!” She said, looking away and then giving me a small wave. 

Beatrice started to walk with her and Edgar. I sighed as the crowd slowly started to pack in. I tried to find Alexander. Stumbling back, I heard a laugh. 

“You’re almost acting like you’ve never had legs before!” June said with a cheerful smile. 

He still had the same color hair as me.

“It’s this giant backpack, my body hurts carrying it.”

June questioned, “oh, did you need some help?”

I wanted to say yes, but even though I couldn’t see Viola, I perfectly imagined her disappointment. “No, it’s a punishment.” One I don’t think I really deserve? Do I? I did call him a dumb…I then shook my head, no, he said I was stupid first! 

“Were you bad?” June asked. 

“A-” The start up of the music scared me. I flicked back away from him seeing the crowd vastly growing. 

“HEY EVERYONE!~” Skyler’s voice boomed over the mic.

June started to jog up, tugging my bag to pull me too. 

“We gotta get a spot with the others!"

…

I met with Alexander and stuck with him for a total of thirty minutes before I lost track of him and the others. The heavy bulk made it hard to move around in the crowd and I couldn’t check my phone. If I took my hands off the straps the backpack would slip off or ruin my balance. I got pushed back and felt someone catch me. 

“Careful, Lynette, you might bump into the wrong being!” He said in a shout. I saw it was Zane on his phone.

“S-sorry!”

He smiled, “just go wait outside of the crowd, you risk getting smushed here!.” He yelled and pointed out.

I agreed, and I wormed my way out between the other monsters, while they danced and sang along with the music.

Upon breaking away from the crowd, everything was clearer. A few stayed back and watched from afar, talking to one another.

"Howdy girly," a lanky all black being being squatted down and gestured with his free hand to the mini fridge with a glass panel he had over his shoulder. "Did you want to get a drink? We have plenty of custom drinks in here to give you some pep in your step or extra strength."

I half expected some kind of threat, and I looked over the choices, "do you have water?"

He opened the fridge and handed me a glass bottle with some clear liquid, its label was "Clearest."

I took out my card and got ready to hold it up.

"No, water's free little missy." He held up his hand, and sprang back up. He tipped his hat back, "if you would like anything else though, I'll be walking around."

I thanked him, holding the water tightly, my other hand on the straps. I saw him go off toward the crowd with his colorful fridge of drinks. I made my way to an empty, smaller table. A lot of them were way too big to be comfortable in.

I stared up, taking a breath, and staring up at the beautiful starry night. Even with the lights below, I could see plenty of the stars. Though, I realized I was tipping too far back and clutched the table quickly. I nearly lost my drink.

I had to lay on the table to keep the bag from dragging me off the bench.

I should text the group chat and tell him where I am.

I brought out my phone, looking over the few messages of nonsense before. I stopped when someone tapped on my typing arm.

"Hey, where's your mark, little human?"

I pulled my arm back. I flipped to the male that was at least eight feet tall. His mouth seemed to match Elliot, except he had a fluffy swishing tail and wolf-like ears on his head.

I smiled, "uh-I don’t have a mark-”

“Why not?” They sat down right next to me. Nearly touching me.

I wanted to scoot over but I was afraid it'd seem rude. “I’m not a giver." I said seeing he had a mark on his own hand like Alexander had earlier. Except it wasn't glowing. “I work for a pizza place that has a stall here-Happy Pizzeria."

Their claws tapped the table, as if they were thinking. I gave a friendly smile, but felt the sweat starting form at my forehead.

“Ah,” He got up from the bench and my phone started to ring. “I guess I’ll find someone else.”

My shoulders slumped. I fumbled to answer it once he walked away and accidentally rejected it. Alexander's going to kill me. I thought as I saw the being with the brown fuzzy trench coat was still behind me. Eyeing me, and once our eyes locked in the mirror, he lurched over to grab me.

He got the backpack and yanked me up. He tried to wrap his arm around my head, but I dropped from the backpack straps. I had to do it so many times in high school when Wicks tried to stop me from walking so fast.

I slipped under the table, clenching my phone, and scrambled to get out from underneath it. They swung it up, and dropped it immediately when I got up. I heard its heavy slam behind me along with the shatter of the glass bottle.

“Stop making this difficult!” The male called. 

I couldn't yell out, the music was too loud and I didn't assume anyone would help me.

I brought my phone out, not able to stop myself as Drake ran out in front of me. He didn't expect me to slam into him, he assumed I'd stop in a panic. I pulled back as his arms were out.

"Alexander's looking for you..." He heard my help, saw my gesture and gasp. I couldn't speak.

The fuzzier being with black fur and horns leaned over us.

Drake moved me behind him when the wolf-like man reached for me. “She’s not a giver.” His tone left calm yet strong.

It made me tense up.

His sour face turned to me, ignoring them, he moved his head in the direction he wanted us to go. "Let's get back to him."

"I'm not scared of you, brat." The being growled. He grabbed Drake who held my arm. Drake let go of me, I wobbled to keep my balance.

Not that it mattered. A few ribbons of fear wrapped around my body, draping over my ears drowning out the music, yet they were thin enough to let the colder breeze in. My body twisted, struggling to run at first, but soon gaining enough traction as I got further away from the situation.

My breath squeaked out, finally. I swayed back and forth and my mind slowly regained its senses hearing the phone I clutched in my hand ringing again.

I answered without reading the name.

“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!” Alexander’s growl rumbled from beyond the speaker. 

My lip quivered. I tried to look back. “I-uh-Drake might have got into a fight-”

There was a confused silence, “what?” He snapped out of it. “JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE.”

“I don’t know, uh-” I looked at the stage, “left of the stage.”

I heard a gruff groan, followed by a “STAY THERE.” He hung up.

I didn't want to move, but the speaker sounded so loud. I soon saw Viola, Tila, and Beatrice coming over to me.

“What are you doing here, Lynette? Alexander was-” Viola then got closer and looked at my hands then back to my eyes. “Are you alright?”

My hands trembled. “Y-yeah. They just-oh, right, Drake might not be okay-” What am I doing to these monsters to make them attack me?

“What happened?”

I tried to form a coherent sentence. “Someone grabbed him and for some reason I couldn’t stop myself from running away.” I held my chest. I’m a coward, but he'll be okay, right? What if something happened? My heart blamed me again.

“I guess not everyone can get along.” Beatrice sighed, “would be better if we could.”

“And be under your rule, no thanks! I love my freedom.” Tila moved her arms around. 

I went back in the same direction I came from. As if I could do something, Viola grabbed my wrist. “Did you see anyone hit, Drake?”

I denied it, then realized the bag was gone too. “And you’re bag, I’m sorry-” My overwhelmed and muddled mind felt more for the bag and Drake than my own safety. It had a funny way to cope...

…

Viola worked on calming down Alexander behind me.

“Sorry,” Drake apologized.

At this point the whole crew was together, besides Sandra, Edgar, and Tristan. And as far as I know, no one really mentioned the scenario to them. 

“You shouldn’t apologize.” I said walking beside him in the hotel lobby.

Drake shook his head, “I used my animosity and forgot how it’d affect you.”

“Your animosity?” 

“It’s something certain beings, like me, can do. It creates a pressure around weaker creatures to either make them run or unable to move.” Drake sighed, “I wanted him to back off, not you, it spreads over an area and I don't have control over who I affect in that area.”

I listened to his sheepish tone, and saw he avoided eye contact with me. I nodded, “th-thank you though, I’d rather that than…what might have happened…”

Drake agreed with a half smile, “I suppose.”

Alexander "broke" containment.

“You idiot!” Alexander's voice rose out from behind me. “It’s like you want other monsters to eat you! Why did you go off by yourself!” He pushed between the two of us. Viola couldn’t hold him back. 

“I got pushed away from you and I could barely stand up with the backpack!" I exclaimed, "I was tired, plus I could have gotten crushed by the giants!”

“Then you find and TELL me-!” Alexander snarled. We neared the elevator. “You know how annoying it’d be to get you out of someone's stomach AGAIN?”

I squeaked and hated the thought. “It's worse for me.”

“And you still-” He put his hands out to me then pulled them back and held his head up. “I’ll eat you if I pick you up and shake you.”

“Please don’t.”

He turned his head the opposite direction, “and there you go again, acting all meek and preyish! Stop teasing me!”

“I’M NOT!”

Lev laughed aloud as he held the elevator door for us, “I know, her little squeaks make me hungry too.” He stopped me from going into it. “Are you sure you don’t want to bunk with me tonight?”

“NEVER.” I pulled away, refusing to ride it up with them. “Can’t you guys just stop threatening to eat me!” 

“Nope~” Lev said.

“You’re literally what I eat-”

Zilla pushed me ahead. She wanted to get in and I was in her way, “I gave you the offer to switch with me, Lynette.” 

“Sis!” Zane said, he looked over at me, “she may be the size of a cute teddy bear, but still I’d rather have you." He tapped his chin, "or maybe the three of us?”

“I don’t want to wake up next to a giant of any species.” I went to the corner of the mirrored elevator.

“Aw, Lynette, then you’d be all alone,” Claudia turned and smirked at Tila, “oh wait, Tila’s smaller than you.”

Tila puffed up, her pigtails raised too, “you Fae always act so superior.”

Claudia chuckled, “It's because we are.~”

“I’d offer but I think our room is full enough.” Beatrice remarked. 

They ignored my giant comment.

“Oh, oh! She can stay with us!” June said, clinging onto my arm. His skin touching mine made me shiver. He felt cold and slightly squishy even though he looked normal.

“I don’t need a human in my room.” Elliot said.

You know, touché.

I glanced at Drake who hadn't said anything. Then smiled, “Or, better yet,” I gestured at Alexander, “you can go bunk with Lev and Drake.”

“I don’t have a bed in there.”

“We have a couch,” Lev said before looking at me, “but wouldn’t you get lonely? Any monster could easily sneak in there and gobble you up…” He teased, “oh," excitement fluttered in his irises, "you know, maybe you should sleep in our room, Alexander.”

I rushed out of the elevator, “nevermind, forgot it! I-I don’t-ugh,” I didn’t want to argue anymore. I fumbled to get the keycard from the wallet at the back of my phone. “I'M GOING TO BED. GOODNIGHT."

…

Thank you for reading! :D Have a gouda day! (Nonnegotiable, if you're lactose intolerant, you're about to be in a lot of pain, sorry, not sorry. Lol).

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