#all im saying is. its hard to expect idols to break free when they were literally TRAINED by these money hungry pigs for all of their lives

[ribbonknot]

need a main kpop girlie to leave their company and succeed in a massive way that is also consistent

[fairyoftbz]

insecurities | l. juyeon

🧸 pairing: idol!juyeon x (insecure) fem!reader 🧸 word count: 2.7k 🧸 genre: angst, fluffy end 🧸 tw: mentions of insecurities, doubts 🧸 a/n: sorry i forgot to post, i had a busy day and im exhausted, i hope it's gonna be enough! 🧸 requested: yes! thank you, it is very cliché but i hope this is what you had in mind! 💝

╰☆☆☆☆╮

Juyeon came home tired but happy, excited to see you again after a long day of intense practice and a show where he participated as an MC. You, on the other hand, were not as happy as he was, but you were for sure tired of something.

You couldn’t deny it, dating Juyeon had positive points, he was everything you could ask for in a man, but there were just as many negative points. He was an attractive, sweet gentleman, and it was almost impossible for him not to attract other girls, not even doing it on purpose. And it was one of your many insecurities even if you considered yourself pretty, you couldn’t help but get insecure every time he talked to someone else.

Because let’s be honest, in the Korean music industry, every single woman looks like an absolute goddess. So, when he interacts with someone, and they’re a bit too friendly, your heart pinches in pain as he gives them the smile he keeps for you and you only.

You think that they are more interesting, prettier and funnier than you, which has the ability to send your thoughts to the dark side of self-consciousness, not feeling pretty or enough next to those women. And tonight, it was hard to watch on National TV your boyfriend being extremely friendly with the other MC.

You had tried to comfort yourself that it was just a mask, that he had to look friendly and handsome on TV. However, you couldn’t help feeling disappointment and anger as he gave attentive eyes to the other MC as she explained something, his eyes falling on her lips pressed against the mic.

Juyeon walks through the main door, tossing his keys on the chest of drawers, getting rid of his jacket and shoes before joining you in the living room, happy to see that you were watching the same channel he appeared on. Eyes glued on the screen, your thumb rubbed against your lips, feeling the skin of the cuticles you scratched while watching your boyfriend feeling rough against your lips.

“Hi love,” he said as he sat next to you, pressing his lips on your cheek. You didn’t react, only emitting a slight hum as he sat comfortably.

Juyeon frowned but didn’t raise your bad mood, trying to think what was going on inside your head. Maybe you had a bad day, or you were just tired, despite scratching his head and think, he couldn’t pinpoint what had brought you in such a bad mood.

“Did you have fun?” you bitterly spat, and Juyeon’s eyes widened, surprised by your tone, the wrinkle on his forehead deepening as his brows furrowed at your attitude.

“I did. Are you mad or something?” he bluntly asked, and you sighed, taking the remote to turn the TV off, falling in an unpleasant, uncomfortable silence.

“Oh no, I’m super fine. I really enjoyed my boyfriend giving heart eyes to another girl on national TV, it was such a nice thing to watch,” you bitterly chuckled, and Juyeon’s eyes widened even more, not expecting you to pull out the jealousy card on that.

“Babe, what are you talking about? You know-”

“Please, spare me your fake confusion and lame excuses, I clearly saw what I saw. My eyes never deceive me,” you said while standing up, but Juyeon was quick to imitate you and grab your wrist to prevent you from walking away. You tried to free yourself from his grip, but he only tightened his hand around it.

“Juyeon, let me go,” you said through clenched teeth, trying to prevent the tears from escaping your eyes. Breaking down was the last thing you wanted to do in this situation.

“Not before you explain to me what this fuss is all about,” he said, irritation replacing confusion in his eyes. You let out a mocking scoff, your eyes filled with anger and disdain boring into your boyfriend’s, holding eye contact for a few seconds.

“You really think I’m this dumb? I clearly saw the eyes you gave to the other MC when you were both animating the show. Cracking jokes, giving her smiles that could outshine the sun, your eyes ogling her lips when she was talking or smiling. Did you really think I wouldn’t catch that?” you raised your voice, letting anger take over your body.

“I never did all of that, I don’t know what you are insinuating,” he spat, trying not to show it, but your words hurt him, hating the fact that you could imagine him cheat on you or fancy another girl.

“Go on social media then, you will see what I am ‘insinuating’! Everyone is already talking about how whipped you are and how cute of a couple you would look together. Some fans are even starting to make edits!” you shouted, shoving your phone in your hoodie’s front pocket.

Juyeon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose to calm his nerves a bit, a gesture that had the ability to enrage you even more. Your family used to do that when they found you annoying or wanted to belittle you, and now seeing Juyeon doing the exact same thing as them really made you even more insecure about this whole situation. Your family made you feel like a real burden during your childhood and teen years that it hurt you to think that Juyeon was probably agreeing with that thought right now.

“Y/N, I don’t know what you are talking about. I was just trying to be nice, I can’t be rude or it’s mine and the group’s reputation that I’ll take down with me-”

“No it’s okay, no need to explain yourself, the message was very clear,” you said, and you finally freed yourself from his grip, your heart breaking as Juyeon sighed in annoyance again, seeing him almost roll his eyes.

“It’s not what I meant, and you know it. Don’t react like that, please,” he started, but you waved your hand in front of you.

“No, no, I got it, you-”

“Y/N, for the love of God, stop being so fucking insecure, it’s getting so fucking annoying at this point! I can’t do anything without you getting fucking doubtful, start having faith in me and in this relationship, dammit!” your eyes widened as Juyeon eventually snapped, his mouth slowly closing as he stared at you, realisation hitting him that his words and tone made a lot of damage once he saw the tears gather in your eyes and roll down your cheeks.

The couch separated the two of you, creating the illusion of a painful wall that made you shiver, feeling like your apartment had lost all of its warmth on the spur of the moment. His words were brutal, and they bounced around your skull, your head turning towards the corridor to swallow the lump forming in your throat, trying not to break down in front of him.

“Y/N, I’m-”

“Leave me alone,” you replied, voice wavering as you walked out of the living room, slamming the bedroom door shut before locking it.

Juyeon sighed and carded his hands through his dark locks, closing his eyes as he thought of the words that had escaped his mouth too quickly. He cursed under his breath as the living room fell into a deafening silence, his hands linked at the back of his neck as he thought of what just happened.

“Why did I say that,” he muttered under his breath and collapsed on the couch, unlocking his phone and scrolling on social media to try and momentarily forget your beautiful face painted with a hurtful expression because of him, but it was to no avail.

He saw what you saw; the fiction, the edits, the collages, he saw and read everything. He already hated seeing you cry and being hurt, but he actually loathed himself for being such an idiot and not comfort you about the whole situation with what was happening on every social platform.

His heart shattered in millions of pieces as he pictured you crying in your shared bed, holding the stuffed animal he got you for your anniversary tight against your chest, letting you drown in your insecurities and intrusive thoughts. He loved you very much, but despite him trying to remind you every single day, your intrusive thoughts always managed to get the upper hand when you found yourself hanging out on your own or with some friends. It was as if your brain shut out everyone who tried to reassure you or make you feel better, letting you drown and struggle in your sorrow.

Yes, the other idols were pretty, but they were nothing compared to you. Juyeon had only eyes for you and cared about you and, of course, his members, but never had he thought about leaving you for someone else. His intentions were just to sound and appear nice and welcoming on TV because he knew that some fans, antis and media wouldn’t hesitate a second to bash him on different platforms and articles for his rudeness and insensitivity towards his idol colleague. And not only would he break his reputation, but also the group’s, and that’s the last thing he wanted.

However, he also understood that it was something hard to watch for you, even if he reminded you every single day that you were the only one that mattered in his eyes.

Sitting on the couch, he started reflecting, putting himself in your shoes for a second. How would he have reacted if he saw you being super friendly and affectionate to another man? Someone more handsome, nicer than him, cracking jokes here and there to see you smile and laugh.

He tossed his phone on the couch space next to him, where he wished you were instead of crying yourself in your shared bed, watching the device bounce, collide with the armrest and fall on the ground. He didn’t even fret checking if the screen cracked, head too high in his thoughts to bother.

Resting his elbows on his knees, he pressed his joined hands against his mouth, tongue poking his inner cheek as he realised he had really messed everything up. His knee started bouncing at the disgusting thought of losing you, perfectly knowing that he had to do something before you could slip through his hand like grains of sand.

Juyeon stood up and knocked on the bedroom door, softly calling for your name.

“Y/N?” he asked, and you didn’t respond, faintly hearing you cry on the other side of the wall. “Go away, please,” your strained voice barely making it to his ears, his fingers drumming against the surface of the door in frustration.

From your side of the bed, still holding that teddy bear close to your chest, you let your tears damp the top of its head, feeling the exhaustion of crying kicking in. Juyeon didn’t knock another time, trying not to push your buttons too much to save his chances to talk to you.

You heard a small thud on the lower part of the door, frowning as you wondered what it was. Deep breathings filled in the silence lingering in the corridor, selfishly feeling a bit relieved that you weren’t the only one hurt in this situation. Juyeon was a smart, tolerant man, he knew when to put his pride aside and not blame you for something you said or did. Well, it’s not the case for this time, and it’s probably exhaustion that spoke for him, and that, of course, doesn’t excuse anything, but he wanted to apologise and make up for everything.

“I know you probably don’t want to see me or hear my voice after what I’ve told you, but I really want to apologise for what I’ve said,” you held your breath to hear his faint, low voice on the other side of the door. You sat up and felt dizzy for a quick second, still holding the teddy bear against your chest, your face buried in its head as you let the tears keep rolling on your cheeks.

“I know it’s hard to date me, and I’m really sorry, I wish we had a simpler life, where we could hang out and go on dates like two normal people. It’s also hard for me to not be the type of boyfriend everyone wishes to have, but I’m so damn grateful to call you mine.” Juyeon marked a pause and ruffled his hair, pushing the front pieces away from his hair while thinking of his following words.

“I… you don’t know how much I’m sorry for using your insecurities against you. I shouldn’t have, it was the dumbest move I could ever do, but I just didn’t know what to answer. You are so pretty, so beautiful, amazing, and absolutely wonderful to have around to me, so seeing you this insecure makes me mad every time you compare yourself to someone you think looks prettier, thinner, or more perfect than you. It’s... really frustrating because I try my best to make you feel like a goddess and worth it every day, but those unrealistic society standards and god damn social media make you feel like you are not worth an ounce of love,” he took in a big breath and raised his knees upwards, letting his forearms rest on them.

You slowly opened the door behind him and dropped the teddy bear by his side, letting him know of your presence. He was quick to notice it and turn around to hug your legs tightly, your hands finding their way in his hair and started massaging his skull.

“I’m so sorry, Ju,” you faintly whispered, and he breathed in deeply against your skin as if he finally found you again after being separated from you for years.

He grabbed your cherished stuffed animal and stood up, holding it against your chest with a tender smile. He sat you down on the bed and gave you a proper hug, mouth pressing loving kisses on your forehead and temple as his hand caressed the back of your head, holding you as close to him as possible.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I really am. I love you so, so much, I’m really sorry for all the stupid words I’ve thrown at you,” he said, and you shook your head, squeezing your arms around his middle tightly as an answer.

“I guess I have to accept that you have eyes only for me. But you know, it’s hard to acknowledge it and believe it when you find everyone around you ten times more beautiful than you are,” you mumbled against his chest as you sat on his lap, and he nodded, feeling a lump rising in his throat.

“I know Y/N, I know. I wish I could rid you of those insecurities, my heart breaks each time I see you so unsure of yourself. You're just so beautiful and amazing, it honestly kills me to see you like this,” he whispered, and you bitterly chuckled, gently pulling away to look at him with pearly eyes, his arms around you holding you still tight, making sure that you wouldn’t go too far from him.

“You can’t do that, but maybe you can help me soothe them by keeping loving me the way you’ve done since day one,” you mumbled, and he smiled, his eyes shining with tears just like yours.

You both cupped each other’s face and sadly smiled at the other, Juyeon feeling comforted at the sensation of your thumbs wiping the tears away from his cheeks and vice versa.

“We just need time, love, but I promise I’m going to help you realise how much you mean to me and how beautiful you are. And how much I don’t care about other girls,” he mumbled, and he gently drew your face closer to his, your lips grazing against his mouth. You closed your eyes at the proximity, feeling so much love and passion in his kiss that it was getting hard to breathe.

“I love you so much, Y/N,” Juyeon pulled away from your lips and whispered against your mouth, his hot breath mixing with yours.

“I love you too,” you smiled, burying your face in his neck, your boyfriend kissing the crown of your head while hugging you tight.

You giggled as Juyeon applied pressure on your waist, making you fall on your side on the bed. His hand gently cradled your cheek, thumb caressing your cheekbone with a soft smile on his face. You closed your eyes and pressed your forehead against his, feeling him chuckle and gently press his lips against yours.

[taebear0801]

Nct Dream Reaction to scaring you or you flinching during an argument.

May consider sensitive content for some people and Mark is in dream again because it’s become fixed.

Mark lee

You were over at Mark’s room in the dorm after he invited you over last night. But today he was too stressed and crabby to deal with you.

“Mark?”

“What do you want now?”

“I was wondering if you maybe wanted to chill out and spend some time in the park” you try to reason but you voice is wavering, scared that Mark will be mad at you.

“NO Y/N. You don’t understand what’s its like to work this hard or be an idol. You’re too naive to understand my stress, go yourself” this out burst had you looking down at your hands frustrated but you can’t let him treat you like this.

“WELL, I’m trying to put in effort unlike you. You always think everything in the relationship is about you.” And when he turned around you knew that you fucked up. But whaat you didn’t expect was for mark to stand up and walk towards you threatening you.

“Don’t Ever Talk To Me Like That Again” articulating every word.

Already being smaller than him, the disadvantage of sitting on a bed so you put up your arms in defence. When Mark sees this action he realises how he must of scared you and you just wanted to spend time with him despite your earlier comment.

“I’m sorry Jagi.” He said softly waiting for you to look up at him before he continued, “I didn’t mean to scare you like that.” He would ask if you were ok before he touches you and would engulf you in a hug whilst both of you apologise many times to each other.

Hwang Renjun

Renjun has always been mouthy and sometimes he doesn’t know when to stop. But he’s got to the point of actually scaring you.

“I don’t have time to only play attention to you. The world doesn’t revolve around you sweetheart” he would say in an extremely sarcastic tone that really hurt you.

“Why would you say something like that. I’ve given up time for you” you would yell back, upset he talked to you like that.

He was trying to walk away but when he heard you, he stopped in his tracks and slams the door he just open while turning around. So when he sees you flinch initially he didn’t think much of it.

“You honestly think that you have given up anything in this relationship? I’m putting my career on the line, maybe you not worth it.” And with that you run out the door back into your apartment. You get some boba to chill you out but the whole time Renjun’s words ring in your ear. That night you put on one of his shirts and climb into bed all alone. You cry at the memory but unbeknownst to you, when you left the dorm, Jaemin heard the exchange and told Renjun that if he wanted to keep you, he would need to apologise.

So when he unlocks the door, he feels worse when he sees how alone you were on the shared bed you bought for both of you. He hears some stiffening and accidentally closes the door too loudly. This makes you flinch and he remembers how you flinched before. You guys would make up in the bed and he would apologise more for the words he said than his slamming the door.

Lee Jeno

Jeno is known to be scary with the members but you never believed it. He was always so sweet to you and even when he got annoyed in an argument he would be more frustrated but never seem intimidating. But when he dragged you back into your apartment after the waiter at the cafe recognised you and started, in his eyes, flirt with you.

“How could you have that guy all over you like that? Did you enjoy it? Like a fucking slut enjoying other men’s attention?” His words hurt. Sure you used to like the guy but now you’re with Jeno, so this situation didn’t make any sense to you.

“Like I said before, I don’t like him anymore”

“BUT THAT PRICK RUBBED IT IN MY FACE. He kept stating your past an how you used to like him”

“But-“ and before you could respond, Jeno slammed his hand on the table and walked up to you after saying.

“SHUT UP!”

You raise your arms in defence and he could see your tears building up in your eyes.

“I’m sorry for scaring you baby.”

“I can’t believe you would accuse me and call me a slut” you say softly but shaking from the tears falling. He just engulfs you in a hug stroking you to calm you down. He feels bad at the way he spoke and would spoil you for the next few days. He doesn’t what you to think of him as a monster.

Lee Donghyuck

It’s 3 am and you are in Donghyuck’s room whilst he plays video games. You kinda wished that he rested more but you also like the way he looks happy when playing.

“Go to bed with me donghyuck. Please”

“After this game. Go to bed first” He said for the 11th time.

“Why are you like this, you need to rest.” You start yelling.

“Just be quiet and don’t wake the others.” He said sharply.

You had enough and after he died in the game, you turn off the power button of the computer.

“What the-. WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM Y/N. Why did you do that?!” Donghyuck is turned around in disbelief.

“You died so I thought you were finished.”

This seemed to have triggered something and he walks toward you furiously, causing you to crawl up higher on the bed.

He yells, “What right do you have to turn off my computer despite if the game finished or not.”

But when he raises his hand, you shield your face and start crying, “please don’t hit me”.

With this, donghyuck is shattered. He doesn’t realise just how late or how tired you must of been to just want to cuddle with him.

“I just didn’t want to sleep alone” you cried as you continue to hid your face from him. “Im sorry if that’s selfish” and with that you roll off bed and run towards the door.

Donghyuck grabs you before you get the chance and gently back hugs you. “I’m not letting you out at 3am in the morning.”

“Why are you caring now suddenly” and you try to get to the door again. Donghyuck gets his opportunity to grab your wrist and pull you to him crying.

“Let’s sleep ok. I don’t what you to be scared of me.”

In bed he strokes your sleeping face thinking you are in deep sleep and says softly, “you know I would never harm you in that way. But I can’t believe we came to this.” But you heard every word.

Na Jaemin

Jaemin doesn’t like to fight and even if you guys do there’s usually the silent treatment and then a very cute date to make up. But today was different, Jaemin hasn’t yelled at you like this. He hasn’t been this aggressive. He’s upset that when you come to the dorms, you only interact with the boys.

“Would you rather date Renjun over me?” He would ask, “do you want him to fuck you?” His comments didn’t help the fact that you were wearing a cute skirt you bought a couple days ago to impress Jaemin. But when came to the dorms, Jisung asked you to get a stain out of his shirt then Renjun ask you to help him cook, which Jaemin did not take a liking to.

“Are you calling me a slut?”

“I don’t know but you sure like other men’s attention.”

“You know I only love you, Jaemin.” You try to reassure him but when you walk towards him, he adjusts his fringe and this makes you flinch.

You aren’t sure how long you both stood there but Jaemin was mad. He was mad you thought of him like that.

“Did you really think that or are you trying to get a reaction out of me” he would growl.

“What- now it was my reflex”

“I don’t care, but you damn well know that I would never hit you. I can’t believe you thought that lowly of me” he would exclaim.

You’re not sure how to recover from this but you head for the door and the boys hitting outside on the couch would look at you fully aware of situation. This would make you feel even worse and you would run out the door. I would take half a day to find Jaemin outside your apartment door with some flowers. And probably a roast from Renjun about his insecurity.

Zhong Chenle

Poor baby, you and Chenle would be the cutest couple and fights never really existed. But when you over hear Chenle talking to Jisung about how his mum found out about you and she doesn’t like you. His mum thought you were with him for the money and this breaks you. You have never benefited from Chenle’s income so none of this made sense to you.

“But why didn’t you come to me? Are you thinking about breaking up” you are on the verge of tears at the moment and Chenle would not know how exactly to handle this situation.

“No I just needed someone to ask, a guy in this situation.” the last thing he wanted was to break up. You were his rock and always there to listen to him at 2am.

“I only love you y/n really, I don’t care what my mum says.” He would get kinda frustrated that this wasn’t getting through.

So he goes to touch your face but he reaches too quickly and you flinch and clench your eyes before opening at the feeling of your soft fingertips grazing your chin.

“Why did you do that” he would be shaking.

“I don’t know your hand moved too fast.”

“Are you scared of me?” And this would be so upsetting but you had to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault. He would be more of a mess than you and you would need to comfort him instead.

Park Jisung

You and jisung, like some of the others don’t fight much. But something about him really bothered you lately. When he was alone with you he was a clingy, like a koala bear always touching you. But when you went to a restaurant with the boys he would not touch you or talk to you for long periods of time. So when you touched his hand or attempted to feed him, he would tell you to stop rather loudly in front of the boys. Embarrassed, you retract and don’t attempt anymore clingy actions.

So you confront him about this but he gets snapping and wants to end the conversation. But when you continue to push the subject he gets really angry.

“It’s not that serious. I really don’t understand why you are pushing this y/n are you trying to be difficult?” You reach for him but he slaps your hand away and now you’re frozen.

“I already told you I love you and I show you that in our free time, it’s just I don’t want to be teased.” And now he is walking towards you. Jisung is tall so he looks quite intimidating from your perspective, especially how you’re now holding your hand in shock.

“How dumb can you be huh?” He continues as you lower your head and start to hug yourself in defence. Your cowering form would be surprising to Jisung.

“What are you doing” but when he sees you crying he would panic and not know how to calm you down. He would give you some space and call him taeyong to ask for advice because he realises he scared you but he didn’t know what to do. It really didn’t hit him until Taeyong explained how you scary he can look to you but you would get a text from jisung to meet him at the food market and trust me he would cling onto you in public and take you to the arcade for a cute date.

[h0neyjaehyun]

☁︎ 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 ☁︎

Summary // Tali has a heart to heart with Chan, and the Dreamies experience Tali's child like personality when she is really happy.

Characters // Talia Flores + Bang Chan (ft. Dreamies expect Mark, Doyoung)

Era / Year // October 2017

Word Count //

Bold // English

⚠️Warning⚠️ // Breakdown

"Chan its gonna be okay, its not your fault it was never your fault and never will be."

It was the middle of a survival show of the creation of Straykids, Minho not to long ago got eliminated. She went over to his house and brung him food to cheer him up and she promised him that when she had free time she would help him with singing plus rapping. Then just last night Felix got eliminated just because he couldn't speak Korean properly, deep down she felt guilty not teaching him Korean, but she was busy with schedules she couldn't. After Chan walked him to his home, she just finished practice and went to Felix's house to comfort him. He felt so guilty and her heart broke at her friend feeling guilty he couldn't speak a language.

Korean was hard to learn from an english speaker perspective. It was like the opposite of English. She striked a deal with him at least once a week she would help him with Korean, inperson or through a screen since she did have to go on tour.

After she left Felix's place after putting him to sleep. She went to the person who felt most guilty.

She went into JYP building heading towards the studio where Chan usually is. He always in there, either producing, or avoiding his problems and feelings. She heard music, it was Hellevator, she heard it replay over and over again. She knocked on the door, the music stopped and it revealed a tried Chan.

"Hey sweetie" Tali smiled at him sadly she came in and sat on one of the chairs. Chan sat down on his chair and just looked at her. Then he just started to breakdown.

"I- I- I failed the- them Tali." Chan choked up crouched down in Tali's stomach.

"No, no you didn't Chan you tried your be-"

"NO I DIDN'T, I LET THEM GET ELIMINATED TALI....its my fault, I failed them, I promised we would debut together Tali....I promised them." Chan sobbed. Promises to them meant a lot to them. So when Chan couldn't keep that promise it broke him.

"Chan its gonna be okay, its not your fault it was never your fault and never will be." Tali comforted Chan petting his hair trying to calm him down.

"They don't blame you, they don't hate you, as long as you keep trying and helping each other you guys will make it. Jyp was just nit picky. This is not your fault." Tali said cupping his face whipping the tears off his face.

"But-" "No buts Channie, come on, lets go out for a bit, and get your mind off things" Tali suggested

Chan agreed.

They packed up at went to a open store and got some food and snacks. They went to a near by play ground and stayed there for a bit talking.

"Tali?"

"Hm?"

"How do you handle it?"

"Handle what?"

"The hate?"

Tali stopped at the question. She looked up at him in confusion. "What do you mean how do I handle the hate Channie?"

"Well, Ive been seeing some comments that, Im not a good leader or person and that im a f-"

"Shh hey hey, one that not true and two... I don't. Im not able to, but I don't show it. I usually distracted myself and not think about it. But they do get to me I am human."

"What about the staff?"

"Oh the staff are still asswholes to me and the Chinese line. I record whats she said about boys and me. Also that she left a member behind and got in the car instead. Honestly one more thing from her, she out." Chan laughed at her statement, but knowing she was serious. She hated when people get discriminated, she doesn't care if she does, only the people around her. So a staff member came she started acting like the boss and mistreating the chinese members which got Tali pissed.

Whether the boys or the staff know it she has a lot of power. Sm made her co-leader for a reason and that is to point out any staff mistreating members and setting them straight or firing them. They know she honest and knows how the entertainment system works. So they trust her who ever can't handle the idols or treat the idols properly and are reported by her. They will get fired so quick. So most staff that worked with her before know this and they know not to tell new staff because the staff themselves don't want a problems in the future because of another staff member.

"So one more strike huh?"Tali looked up at him.

"Yeah" she said quietly.

"How are you and Han?" Tali frozed at the boy's name.

"Fine" Chan raised an eyebrow at her.

"Fine? Really that all you gonna give me?"Tali sighed at the statement.

"Well, I don't know, its just. Its hard. He didn't believe me Chan. When he promised he would be there. He left me." Tali said quietly.

Chan was saddened that she still was unsure of her friendship with the boy. He made a promise he shouldn't have and didn't believe her words and left her, then expected when she forgive him everything would go back to normal. Which did, from the outside. People who did know Tali, would know it wasnt gonna go back to normal anytime soon.

When Tali talkes to people she cares about, her eyes have this light about them. But when she is unsure of the person a doubts them she has this sheild which would take a pretty long time to get down. It took Han since 2015 to atleast get Tali to talk to him again, 2 years. She was scared.

"You know he cares about you right? That he loves you like the rest of us?"Tali looked at Chan with doubt in her eyes.

"Does he really tho?"

"Tali.." Chan went infont of her and grabbed her hands.

"He really cares about you, do you think the guy will try to make you talk with him for around 2 years for him not to care about you?"

"I- Im just scared that he won't believe me.........that he'll leave."

"Tali if he does ever hurt you, you can always drop him, you are scarily good at that" Channie joked

Tali giggled

"Chan?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm afraid."

"You're afraid of what?"

"I'm afraid my group is gonna do that to me....not believe me, break promises, and leave me."

"Hey they won't, as long as you trust them I believe that it won't happen." Tali was stuck in thought.

"....what if they ask about my family....what do I say?"

"...do you want them to know?" "....no"

"Then tell them your not comfortable talking about your family"

"But what if they feel hurt when they find out you guys know and not them?" Tali said filled with gulit.

Chan sighed for once not knowing how to reassure the girl. Because if he was in the group and found out that a completely different group is closer to their only female member. He would feel sad and bitter. So Chan just hugged the girl to reassure her to gonna be okay.

Tali basked in this moment knowing nothing last forever, then realized something.

"...wait a minute shouldn't this be the other way around?"

"Shh no its fine" "No its not fine switch me"

"Tali its fine"

"No-"

"I swear Talia we are not fighting about this again"

They started bickering about who comforts who then she got a phone call.

She flinched at the sound and cursed in her mind realizing what time it is and how she didnt tell ANYONE she left the house. She turned the phone and sees the ID number as Doyoung. She cursed out loud, she was really hoping it was Taeyong.

"Hey language" Chan joked, Tali just glared at him. She picked up the phone scared if there was gonna be either yelling or a scary calm Doyoung

"Hell-"

"HELLO MY ASS WHERE ARE YOU ITS 1 AM IN THE MORNING AND YOUR NOT BACK HOME YOU MIGHT BE 18 (17) BUT YOUR STILL YOUNG!" Tali cringed.

"Im at the park, I was spending time with an old friend I lost track of time sorry." Tali said sheepishly.

"Its fine just come back home the dreamies were in panick when you didn't come back to the dorms so just go there and make sure your friend takes you there....wait is it a g-"

"Omg look at the time, its getting late thanks for calling me oppa im gonna go now bye!"

"Wai-" Tali cut him off and ended the call. She knew if she said it was a guy they will go all investigative mode and try to find out who the guy is.

Chan smacked the back of her head.

"Ow what was that for?!" Talia whinced while rubbing her head.

"For worrying your members and ending the call early, Talia you should know better." Chan said jokingly, shaking his head and pointing at her.

Tali smacked his finger and made are you serious face at him.

"You can't say anything, rememb-"

"Nope, this is not the time." Chan cut her off putting his hand over her mouth and dragging her off the park to the dreamies dorm.

"We are here thanks for walking me." Tali turned and hugged Chan knowing she won't see him for awhile. Chan just gave her a warm smile.

"No problem anything for our Butterfly." Tali smiled at the nickname. Remembering all times they have been together.

"Thank you for everything Channie, I really appreciate you." Tali said still hugging him looking up at him with this light in her eyes like Chan first saw when he was able to get closer to her. He always cherished that moment because it showed that she trusted him. Her eyes just poured out her emotions, it took time to able to read them but it was all worth it, and he would do it all over again.

"Always, I will keep my promise to you, and to him." He said rubbing her head. Tali's eyes changed when she thought about him, not sad ones more like grateful. Tali let him go and she went inside and waved him goodbye.

She went up the elevator, reminiscing the old times, even though it came to an end she still had part of them left with her as she held her locket in her palm looking at a picture that she cherished so much closing it back again once she was on the floor of the dreamies apartment.

She was at the door preparing herself for either a scolding or affection, probably both.

She unlocked the door and Jaemin tackled her to the ground.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I WAS WORRIED SICK SOMEONE HAD TAKEN YOU FROM US." Jaemin scolded her while he was squishing her. Then he picked her up and she went back on the ground by the 2 mankaes.

"Why didn't you at least text us" "Yeah I came in your room for cuddles and you weren't there." Chenle pouted while Jisung scolded. Tali giggled but she felt guilty for making them worried.

"Im sorry I didn't mean too. I was just visiting some friends I haven't seen in awhile." Tali said sheepishly.

"Wow so you left us for them wow." Haechan said with a betrayed face. Tali rolled her eyes at the boy running up to him and hugging him. He was surprised at the contact, Tali at the time wasn't big on skinship so she never really did it herself.

"Don't be a baby, I saw you all this morning and afternoon. I haven't seen them in a long time, how about this we can see a movie in my room for the night hm?" Tali pouted, she didn't want to get scolded.

The boys have never seen Tali act this cute and touchy before. They were loving it.

"Hm? How about we cook and then watch a movie?" Haechan inquired trying to see how long her cuteness will last. Her eyes brightened at the idea she let him go and clapped her hands.

"Yes pleaasee." Tali giggled. Tali was acting her age, which was the first time in forever, they didn't know how. But they were taking advantage of it.

"Lets start cooking, hm?" Jeno said while rubbing Tali's head. Tali looked him and gave him her famous smile that would literally make his hearts burst.

"Come on Tali, help me prepare~" Renjun said while grabbing Tali and gently leading her to the kitchen.

Everyone just stood in place for a couple seconds. Processing what they just witnessed.

"Hyung, what did we just witnessed?" Jisung asked

"I don't know, but I loved every single moment of that." Haechan said, Then Tali popped out with a cute apron on with Renjun behind her smiling at her fondly.

"You guys wanna help?" Tali said cutely, everyone gushed on how adorable was being. They didn't know but when ever she hangs out with Straykids she has this kid like persona come out of her and even afterwards, and thats what they are seeing, she just grew up with Nct and Straykids differently she acts an adult with Nct while Straykids she acts her age maybe a little younger. So when she left Chan she was in a happy mood and that continued to now.

They all looked at each other and then back at Tali.

"Of course Princess."

[jeonchan26]

Don’t Show Up Now (Changbin)

The club was packed, walking in with your friends. This was the first time you have gone out since Changbin and you broke up. 

Flashback

You were waiting for Changbin to come home from work. But like always he was late, you sigh as you started to put the food away that you had prepared for the dinner. He had promised you he was going to come home early but like every other promise he had made, he broke it. 

As you were putting the food away, you heard the front door open and close. You stayed quiet and continued to do what you were doing. You heard him sigh, “Babe I’m sorry I completely forgot about our plans today. We have a deadline and I can’t miss it” he said walking up to you to hug you but you moved away. 

You just nodded, it was always the same excuse. You knew that the moment you agreed to be his girlfriend it was going to be a bit hard due to his idol life. But you were willing to sacrifice everything for him. “It’s fine Im used to you not keeping your promises” you said back with a weak smile.  You heard Changbin groan in annoyance as soon as you said those words.  “You know what you signed up when you agreed to be my girlfriend” 

““I know Changbin but it will be nice if you kept your promises. I mean the other boys make time for it girlfriends why can’t you. Is it that hard for you to?” I said annoyed and angry.

“FUCK WHY WOULD I WANT TO COME HOME TO YOU BITCHING AND NAGGING ABOUT STUPID PLANS THAT ARENT WORTH MY TIME. THE OTHER BOYS DONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS TYPE OF SHIT BUT I DO AND ITS ANNOYING. THEY LOVE THEIR GIRLS ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH IT.” He yelled.  You felt everything stop you looked at him hurt, tears threatening to fall down. ““You dont love me enough to do that stuff with me?” You stared at him in disbelief.

“No I don’t. It’s hard coming home to you that’s why I come home so late so I don’t have to see you” he groaned. 

“FUCK THEN LEAVE. WTF ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE? YOU WANT OUT THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE” you said throwing a plate on the ground breaking, just like your relationship.  “GLADLY! THE GUYS WILL COME TOMORROW TO COLLECT MY STUFF.” With that he was gone slamming the door behind him.

The next day his friends arrived to collect his stuff like he promises they all said hi and apologize for his attitude but you didn’t care. They were giving you pity looks like you needed them. 

End of Flashback.

It’s took you weeks to finally get out of the house but your friends decided that enough. So tonight you decided to wear the sexiest outfit you had and get fucked up. Your friends dragged you to the bar and order two rounds of shots, it felt good being out of the house and hanging out with your friends. You favorite song came out and you dragged your friends to the dance floor. 

You were grinding on your friends when all the sudden one of them sculled you’re arm making you look at her with a questioning look. 

“Isn’t that Changbin?” She pointed at the bar. 

You turned to look and there he was with his friends and what look like his new girl. You won’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt seeing him with someone else. It’s taken you weeks to get over him and there he was with another girl around his arm. You scoff but you were going to show him you were good without him, even if you went home crying yourself to sleep. 

““Who cares! Come one let’s keep dancing.”  You told your friend, the song Don’t Start Now by Dua Lipa start playing making your friends and you scream the lyrics out. You were a good dance one of the many things that Changbin loved about you. You were grabbing all the guys attention and honestly you were loving it.

Chan saw you in the middle of the dance floor, tapping Changbin. “Hey man isn’t that (y/n)?” He asked Changbin point towards your direction.

Changbin stood frozen as he saw you dancing. Damn you were looking good, he thought.

“Eh whatever Man we broke up weeks ago. Who cares” he said turning away but still in his view.

You saw Chan point towards you but you didn’t mind. He gets to stare all he wants, he can see what he is missing.

All the sudden you felt arms around your waist. You turned your head to see a cute looking guy smiling down at you. Honestly stuff like this would always make you upset but today you decided to just let it happened and start grinding on him.

If Changbin could bury the guy under 6 feet he would of. How can you let some guy just rub up on you like that. Changbin remember when he first met you, you had just pushed a guy away from touching with your your permission. He was pissed that you let some random dude touch what’s his.

“Hey Man you okay?” Seungmin asked as he noticed the glared Changbin was giving you and the guy.

“Yea I’ll be right back” he said walking to the bathroom leaving the girl he brought alone. She wasn’t his girlfriend or anything she was just a random girl they met on the way here but she was extra flirty with Changbin that he decided why not. He never expect to see you here out of all places. He went back to his friends ordering more drink glancing your way every now and then.

You on the other hand were just enjoying being free. You turned your body to face the guy. Damn you couldn’t lie he was hot but not as hot as Changbin.

“Whats your name?”

“Jackson”

“(Y/n)!” You yelled back at him.

“Well (y/n) You are very beautiful and might I just say you’re a pretty good dancer.” You giggled at his comment getting closer to him feeling his breath on your face. Both of you leaning in but before your lips touch you were pulled away from the Jackson, from the club and into Changbin’s car.

“Changbin what the hell!?” You yelled as he started the car driving away.

Changbin was quiet but you could tell he was pissed. His knuckles were white from how tight he was holding on the steering wheel and he was breathing hard.

“Changbin you better have a good fucking explanation on to why you just pulled me away from that guy!” You said crossing your arms.

Parking at the dorms, Changbin got out opening the door for you and pulling you out dragging you into his room. You didn’t even fight it because you wanted this but you also wanted him to explain yourself. And let’s be honest when Changbin is mad you couldn’t really do much but wait til he calmed down.

Slamming the door to his room he turned towards you. “Really you’re gonna ask me why I pulled you away! You were literally grinding on that guy that you just met.” He yelled throwing his hands in the air.

“Okay and What wrong with that? Everybody does it Changbin. Plus last time I checked I’m single”

“The hell you are! The girl I met 3 years ago didn’t not let some guy just walked up to her and let him grind his dick on her!” You could tell he was frustrated but so were you. He had no right to get involved in your personal life.

“Yea but that girl changed after getting heartbroken by the guy that she loves!” She covered her mouth a little to late. Turning her back towards him, holding back her tears. She took a deep breath.

“(Y/n), I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have broken up with you.” You didn’t let him finish. 

““No you don’t get to say that too me. You hurt me, broke me Beyond repair and now when I finally want to move on and live my life you want to come back. No Changbin.” You said with tears in your eyes. ““It doesn’t work like that”

““I know I made a mistake and hurt you but it was never my intention. Yes, I hurt you and I will never forgive myself for that. I Love you more than anything in this world. The only reason I left was because I felt like I didn’t deserve you. I was so busy and I wasn’t giving you the time that you needed. I saw the other guys were giving their partners the time and I just felt like you shouldn’t have to be waiting for me to come home. You didn’t deserve to waste your time on someone like me.” He sigh running his hands through his hair. 

“You dont  to decided what I want. I always wanted you, shit I think I’ll always will because you are it for me Binnie. I love you more than anyone in this world.”  You said pulling him close to you. 

He looked into your eyes and you felt his lips on yours. Losing yourself in the kiss, ““I love you more than you know and leaving you was the dumbest decision I’ve ever made.” 

““Well binnie you have a lot of making up to do” you giggled.  “you bet I do!” He said picking you up and taking you to his bed.

[dearlinong]

by your side ; wang ziyi

[hi ! is it okay if i request a scenario where wang ziyi is a mentor for a show you are in and its the final stage and you narrowly miss debuting with the rest of the group. he comforts you but everyone knows you both have a crush on each other? mentor au i guess,,, from a mentor or a lover?? im not sure where i was going with this, sorry if its a bit weird... thank you so much !!]

(a/n: girl holy shit i forgot that i had this in my draft and didn’t finish it wtf. i literally forgot how to do this ;-;. so.. uhm... I MISS YOU GUYS LIKE SO MUCH!! hope you guys are staying safe and staying inside your homes. i’m just clearing off all my requests and once i’m done i can continue making requests again :>. so yeah, pls tell me how guys have been doing in my ask box! so there hope you enjoy this one <3)

genre: angst plus floof

requested: YUP!! omg 2 years in the making kjnKJNAJKDNSKAJDN and sorry if it was all over the place :<

you were currently competing in the 2nd season of idol producer

and you were one of the top competitors

you’ve ben voted as top 1 for multiple times now

and not only was it because of your talent

but you think that it was also because of your friendship with ziyi (which is is bad guys lol vote contestants bc of their talent okay)

yes, you’re friends with the very famous wang ziyi

who was also one of the rap mentors in the said show

actually you two go way back

you two have been friends even before he got into simply joy music

you two were trainees for a company called faded ent

and you two were supposed to debut as a co-ed group

so you two would practice all day and all night just to perfect the dances, singing and rap you had to do

and even after those long and tiring practices you two still had time to hang out with each other

you gotta admit, those were the times that you started developing a crush on him

so when the day he told you that he was leaving the company it was basically your own personal apocalypse

not only did you lose ziyi

but you lost your chance to debut which was on the tip of your fingers at that time

so you tried your luck this time by asking your company to let you join the new season of idol producer

and to your surprise you were doing better than what you expected

as the weeks go by, you and ziyi have been catching up on each other’s lives

but only when you and him have overlapping free time which is a 5 minute break once every week, so that’s not a lot of time

and because of your closeness with him, people have been saying that he has this massive crush on you, which you totally ignored and didn’t believe

and if they were true you’d still ignore it because you were here to compete and debut, not to find love

it was currently the last week in idol producer

while all of the other trainees were fast asleep

you in particular could not sleep for some unknown reason

and what better way to tire yourself than to practice some more

so you got up and walked towards the practice rooms

you first checked if all the staffs were gone, and when they were all gone you entered the room and started practicing the dance routine for the upcoming final episode as you were still in need of some practice

20 minutes into your practicing and you hear some footsteps walking towards the practice rooms, specifically the practice room that you were in

behind the piano was a good place to hide, so you did

as the person entered the room you peeped your hear out so you could have a look at who it was

you were surprised to see that it was ziyi who entered

you were wondering why he was still in the dorms as all the mentors were supposed to be out with the other mentors

so you went out of your hiding spot

ziyi jumped in surprise as he saw you come out

“y/n? why are you here?” he asked 

“i was just practicing, but i’ll head out now, bye.” you said while rushing to head out of the room

but then he caught your wrist which made you stop

“hey, can’t you stay for a while. i really want to spend more time with you. please stay.” he said while smiling softly

you really couldn’t say ‘no’ to a guy like ziyi, so you agreed to stay with him

“so how’ve you been these past few weeks?”

“pretty good actually, but this week in particular was really draining for me and the other trainees.”

you two then eventually became comfortable with each other, like the good ol’ days

after a while you checked the clock to look at what time it was, it was almost 1 in the morning and you had to wake up early to teach the other trainees the dance for the final stage

“hey it’s getting late, better get going now.” you were about to stand up but then ziyi got your hands which stopped you from doing so

“thank you for staying with me y/n, i really miss spending time with you. i hope we can do this more often.” after saying that last word he was leaning in and getting closer to your face

he then pressed his lips to yours

you wanted to savor the moment, but a part of you says that what you’re doing is wrong

so you quickly parted with his lips and stood up

“i’m sorry ziyi, t-this just isn’t right. i have a future ahead of me, and so do you. i don’t want this to be the reason for us to fail in the future. goodbye.” after you bowed you left without even turning back

for the whole week you only thought about that moment

there were times when you couldn’t even sleep just because it was in your head

the day of the final episode has come and you’ve prepared for it since before you entered this show even

okay so this is the part where i transition from 2018 to 2020 bc im a dumb bitch and forgot to finish the au back in 2018

ok back 2 the fic

bc you already know that anything can happen during the span of these 3+ hours

the last time you checked you were still the reigning #1

and because of that you were really anxious about everything that’s gonna happen

before everything starts you guys practiced for the last time and got your last messages from the trainers

and while they were leaving ziyi handed you a small note which made all 20 trainees go BONKERS

“YIEE I KNEW THAT HE LIKED YOU!”

“I KNOW HE’S MY BIAS BUT WHAT THE HECK YOU TWO WOULD BE CUTE TOGETHER”

you became so flustered after all of them started teasing you

“YAH! Y’ALL STOP! if you guys don’t stop i won’t share my remaining facial cleanser!”

deadass everybody went silent JASNXANSDJ

and while everyone was leaving the hall you stayed behind so that you could read the note he gave you in private

it read

“i know what i did a few days ago really surprised you which made you say those words. but i know in my heart that what happened to us was right, but since you asked for it, fine i won’t bother you for now. just remember that i love you and i’m always supporting you, jiayou! with love, ziyi”

ff to the live show

the whole live show was a blur to you because you were too nervous for the final ranking

you were center for your team tho!

everyone AND I MEAN EVERYONE SCREAMED WHEN YOU WERE INTRODUCED AS CENTER

BC HELLO

YOU WERE PERFECT TO BE THE CENTER

ANYWAYS NOW ONTO THE MOMENT WE HAVE ALL BEEN DREADING

THE

FINAL

RANKING

DUN DUN DUUUUUUN

you saw some of the people you hoped to be in the final group got called and you couldn’t be happier

but sadly some of them weren’t

it’s now time to call on the prospected 1st and 2nd ranks

your anxiety levels are OFF THE CHARTS NOW as you haven’t been called yet

you were hoping to all the gods that you would turn out to be the 1st pick

or even 2nd place

but to everyones horror

your face wasn’t shown on the LED screen

which means you weren’t gonna be selected as the 1st or 2nd rank

you heard both people from the audience and from your fellow trainees a collective

“WHAT!?!?!?!?”

at this point you didn’t know what to do anymore

you felt numbness in your body

you can’t cry yet because there is still hope for the 9th place

and then it hit you

‘OH YEAH’

‘9TH PLACE’

so again with all the praying to every god thing

and then

BOOM

the 4 faces were shown on the LED screen

and luckily you were there

the PD then one by one started to announce the trainees on the screens ranks

for 12th place

it wasn’t you

for 11th place it wasn’t you either

this is it you were either in or out

you and the other trainee held hands just to relieve you both from the pressure

and then

the PD finally says the ranking

“the 9th pick is...”

“yuehua entertainment’s xi jiamo!”

that was it

all your hard work

gone

of course you were so happy for your fellow trainee

but you still have to think of yourself as well

you were then asked to give a final message

you were still in shock and didn’t know what to say yet

but you stood there and just said anything that came across your brain

“ohh, honestly i’m just so very thankful to everyone who supported me through this journey. and for every single trainee that has given me nothing but love i hope i can repay you guys some day. let’s all remember that this is not the end of our journey rather it is a stepping stone for us in order to succeed in the future. and to our dear mentors”

the audience and the trainees went wild

EVEN SOME OF THE OTHER MENTORS TOO

“i’m just very thankful that we had the opportunity to be guided by all of you, and we promise to always keep in mind everything you taught us. once again thank you for letting me stand on this stage. i will never forget this experience. thank you everyone” and then you bowed for a very long time

after the whole program all of the trainees went to the stage to congratulate the final group

but almost all of them went to you

the trainees started to flock your area and shower you with nothing but love and support

you even heard the crowd chant your name

which made you cry even more

“YAAAH! Y/N JIE I OVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE REMEMBER THAT!”

“Y/N JIE I’M SORRY FOR TAKING YOUR SPOT!” jiamo said to you

so you had to tell her that its not her fault and she should think that way

if she thinks that way again you told her that you would be so disappointed

the staff now asked everyone to vacate the stage and go backstage

little did you know

ziyi was there waiting for you

you didn’t want to talk to him yet but the trainees insisted that you do

so they left for you two to have some privacy

once you two were alone there was nothing but silence

but he went in for a hug

which you really needed right now

a hug from one of the people that you love the most

while you two were hugging ziyi said something to you

“i know this is a really hard time for you and i just want you to know that i’ll always be by your side from now on. i’ve lost you the first time now i will never let you go”

YOU CRIED EVEN MORE BECAUSE OF THAT

you just wanted to be in his arms forever

and for now

you do stay in it

[way-veee]

yān yǔ

rating: m

genre: romance, fluff, comedy, wayv being absolute crackheads

word count: 1.5k +

pairing: reader x wayv

pt. 4

you were typing up a section of your school report that was due yesterday in the cafe attached to the building that wayv was staying at. you’d been so focused on wayv that you only started it today.

your hands felt numb from typing as you wrote paragraph after paragraph in the afternoon sun with an iced latte. then you feel a hand on your back.

“hi!” kun says smiling. you smile back, you really liked kun. he was always nice to you and the boys and he seemed fun to be around. you just wondered why he was here.

he probably saw the confusion on you face, but ignored it. “what’re you doing?” he asks casually.

“oh im working on a school report.”

he nods, “i miss school.” 

“did you.. go to school?”

 he blushes at you embarrassed.

“nonono not like that” you laugh, “im genuinely curious, when you were training did you go to school?”

“i became a trainee after i finished high school so i didn’t have too unlike most trainees.”

you nod, curious. “do you ever think you’ll want to do any future schooling?”

taken a back by your question he thinks for a moment. 

“ i’d like to get a degree in aviation or aeronautical science.”

you look at him shocked. of course idols could be smart, but for some reason the thought never occurred to you here.

“wow...” you say. “that’s so fascinating... for any particular reason? or,”

he chuckles at how surprised you were. “yeah, i’ve always been interested in aircraft and that aspect of science. i tried to start training for a plane license, but it didn’t work at the time. i think i’ll have to wait a bit before i try again.

you know that “didn’t work at the time” meant that sm didn’t let him move forward with his training and “wait a little bit” meant when he was done performing and in his forties.

you decided not to say anything else, if you could just finish your stupid school work, you’d be free to work on your “plan” that with the boys.

“what do you study?” he questions, expecting you to say journalism or english.

“archaeology and linguistics.” you reply, frowning at your hypothetical coliseum excavation report.

“whoa.” he laughs, he was not expecting you to say that. you had to be crazy smart to study archaeology. and linguistics? no wonder you knew chinese you probably knew multiple languages. you were such a mystery it was astounding.

“that’s... um...” before he can embarrass himself even more or trip over words and blush in your face, he remembers why he came to see you in the first place.

“oh, when you get a chance, we wanted to talk to you in our room.”

“sure, i can come now if that’s okay”

he nods and smiles again. so you pack up your laptop. “am i allowed to be in your rooms?” you question.

“well, not exactly. but its not like we’ve never had strangers in there. as long as the staff members don’t come in,” he stops talking and faces forward red cheeked yet again.

because you didn’t have to think too hard on what type of strangers they would let into their bedrooms.

“its okay. i’ll put my hair up in a hat and if any of them come in they’ll just think i’m winwin.”

kun laughs hysterically at this and you grin. you liked making him laugh.

when you entered one of the boys bedrooms it was like you were a convict walking into a court hearing. all of the boys sat stone faced on the beds looking up at you.

then, amidst the thick quiet you hear xiaojun yawn, then winwin punches his exposed stomach for some reason and xiaojun squirms backwards falling on ten who yells hysterically and accidentally hits lucas in the face.

while all this is happening kun doesn’t blink an eye and looks at them with an “im done with these crackheads” look and just stands beside you.

you just stand there wondering how they possibly fit that many grown men onto a single bed.

after they finish whatever they were doing they become stone faced again and you're forced back up to the podium for your trial.

“i brought her here because we decided to talk about the thing” kun says trying to jog their memory.

“what thing?” lucas asks.

“ya i don’t remember anything about that.” hendery adds.

“after the cooking show?” kun says through gritted teeth.

“what cooking show?” hendery says, actually lost.

kun blinks once, twice then pretends like hendery never spoke in the first place.

“we never really discussed the details and our managers shouldn’t be bothering us today. so we wanted to seriously talk about it.”

you nod, like these guys could be serious.

“thanks again for what you did that day,” lucas says, then looking at winwin to say the same. but he pretends not to hear and looks away.

it was fine by you, you didn’t do it for his appraisal, you did it because you wanted to.

the room falls into a kind of stale silence until xiaojun gestures to an electric keyboard resting on their table.

“we hear you can play the piano?”

you death stare ten for telling everyone but he immediately looks away like he has no idea what xiaojun was talking about.

“yes, i use to play a lot more.” 

you really don’t want to play the piano right now. it was a sensitive matter and you’d definitely be awkward.

“can you play it for us?” xiaojun asks

“oh, no i don’t think i can,”

they all start to encourage you to play saying “come on” and “please,”

the piano falls in your lap and you try to protest as they turn it on. your face gets really hot because of this stressful situation. but then you all hear a knock on the door.

“boys? are you in there?”

fear enters everyone's eyes as the manager knocks on the door.

you thought that they weren’t supposed to be here today.

“uuuh just wait a second i’m naked!” yangyang yells.

you look over confused, “ you could’ve just asked him to wait”

before he has time to protest ten grabs you by the arm.

“we have to hide you now!”

“where?”

“i’m just coming to drop off lucas’s jacket he left, and i also wanted to discuss the fan meet  details!” 

“quick!” kun yells, shoving you under the white sheets of the bed closer to the window. as the manager walks in.

“here can i just leave it on the chair?” the manger questions, wondering why ten was lying vertically across the bed.

“um, okay. about the fan meet, the bus schedule has changed to 45 minutes earlier so be ready to leave in the lot at around 9:20.”

he keeps talking about their fan meet details as you majorly overheat under their thick covers. it didnt also help that ten was lying on your stomach literally crushing the air out of your body.

the manager finally leaves after what feels like an eternity and you gasp for air, sitting up.

“aagh!”

they all laugh at you with your messy hair and red face.

“did you really have to lie on my stomach?” ten looks innocently up at you after he rolls down to lie on your upper legs.

“hey i think i did a good job, he didn’t seem to notice anything.”

you stick your tongue out at him in revolt and he tries to grab it so you try to wrestle his hands down to his chest. after you somehow managed to push his hands down, you lean down on his chest as he coughs hysterically.

bet he didn’t like how that felt very much.

the boys were looking at you weirdly. so to break the silence you suggest, “why don’t we finish this in my room? staff members can’t just barge in because i am,”

“not an idol?” yangyang suggests.

“not worth their attention?” winwin adds

“you’re a laaady?” xiaojun says.

“you’re a ghost, like in the sixth sense, where it’s just in the boy’s head, but you’re simultaneously in all of our consciousnesses.” hendery says.

“how come i can touch things then?” you say lifting up ten’s limp arm and then letting it fall back down.

“well... you’re the kind of ghost that has an actual form and..” he trails off and you slowly say,

“ok.... well anyways let’s go there and we can discuss that more later?”

the boys get up and walk outside to enter your room.

you sit on your chair to let the seven boys take the bed. they inspect your room closely.

“wow your room is like way worse than ours.” lucas states looking disgusted around.

“ya you definitely got tricked, this must be a joke.” kun laughs looking at your small quarters.

“umm y/n?” yangyang says while pointing to a white lacy bra you had left on the ground at the foot of your bed.

“oops” you say slightly embarrassed. you go over and put it in your suitcase facing away from them purposely.

“okay,” kun says slightly blushing as well. “now for the details.”

you nod earnestly waiting.

“we want you to write an article about our mismanagement. its okay though, you can do it under a fake name so you won’t be fired, and we’ll give you all the information.”

“we need someone that’s good at writing to make the article readable.” lucas adds.

you laugh for about 30 seconds, and the boys wonder if they said something funny.

“you’re big plan is to write a strongly worded article?”

“well,” ten says. “it would technically be you writing the article.”

“I was going to write a strongly worded article anyways...”

“oh..” xiaojun says defeated. 

“i had something better in mind” you smirk.

they look at you in surprise, you had thought of them.

“do you guys have access to your albums drive on the producers computer?”

“sure” kun replies. “they give us some previews of beats and backtracks for our lyrics. also while yangyang was trying to download animal crossings on a company computer he downloaded a hidden file with the passwords for all sm music producers accounts.” kun glares at yangyang remembering that time.

“what? I didn’t meddle with anything, I could’ve easily adlibbed on sunny side up, but I didn’t because I’m responsible...”

everybody just looks at yangyang for a few seconds before returning to the conversation.

“what i’m suggesting, is you guys make the title track that you’ve always wanted too. do whatever you want, make an amazing track and right as the other title song is about to be released and sent for album production. you switch it out.”

“i don’t know...” winwin states, “wouldn’t they figure it out if they previewed the songs, then we’d be in big trouble.”

“no,” ten says back.��“if you’re on the laptop you could just change the file name of the new track to the one they want us to release, and it’d be a single encryption for the producers.”

“how do you know this?” lucas replies.

“yeah you’ve never taken any computer classes hyung.” xiaojun replies.

“hey, we do things a little differently over in thailand. you need to be good a whole bunch of things.” 

“literally one of the only videos that we have of you in thailand is with red spiked hair rapping baby by justin beiber.” hendery yells at ten.

ten’s ears turn red immediately as he yells “okay but i also learned a lot about computers there too!”

“i think you just like to watch a lot of porn on company laptops.” lucas says. 

the boys break out into laughter as ten just slowly nods in agreement.

“do you guys like the idea? we can start working on it right away and I can also release an article on the song so the producers cant recall it.”

“okay.” kun says looking at wayv. “should we do this.” he looks at the others and you feel very out of place so you get up to leave.

“where are you going?” xiaojun asks softly.

“oh, i was just gonna give you guys a minute.” 

the boys look up at you with big round eyes.

“but we want you here.” yangyang says.

“yea, you’re apart of this too y/n, without you we wouldn’t be able to do this.” kun says smiling. 

you feel a large swell of emotions in your stomach at the boys kind words, you sit back down.

“we’re gonna do this.” ten says totally serious.

“we’re gonna do this.” they all respond back nodding.

“yay!” you jump up, “this is gonna be so fun! i can just imagine the coverage this’ll give the article! and you guys of course too is- are important i meant to say that first...” you stopped talking for the good of everyone.

they seem to find it endearing though, as they smile.

“alright then, we’ll start as soon as we get to bejing.” winwin says.

“wait but isn’t that in four days?”

“no y/n, we leave tomorrow, did you not hear the manager, or were you too preoccupied with my big juicy butt?” ten jokes.

“please never refer to your butt as big and juicy again, it was definitely the first one.”

the boys laugh definitely thinking of ten’s butt.

“okay, this has been fun but now i have to pack so..” you say it in a way so the boys would know that they should leave.

“oh, we don’t mind.” lucas says clueless.

“yea you can pack, you really wear the same two sweaters everyday.” winwin says smiling annoyingly.

“okay out for real now, i mean it.” they all get up and leave now, filing out.

they wave to you as they leave and you shut the door promptly. wondering how you got yourself into this mess, and how this was gonna end.

part 5 

[leechanluvbot]

Make A Splash! | Boo Seungkwan

Maybe nearly drowning in the wave pool at Typhoon Lagoon wasn’t the highlight of your day, but finally talking to the cute lifeguard on duty sure was.

Part 1/13 of the Disney w/ SVT series! | masterlist here 

Genre: fluff, mini bit of angst, non idol!SVT, Seungkwan x reader 

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drowning and mini panic attack 

Recommended song: Candle Light - NCT Dream

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summer in Florida was especially hot this year

You and your friends were dying for a day off of this sweltering temperature 

So your close friend, Jennie, came up with a plan to beat this heat for one day at your house

“I’m so boredddd” Jiyho groaned, throwing her phone somewhere behind her

Your barely glanced up from your book that you were reading

“Go eat a popsicle or something then” you mumbled

“Boooo I don’t like your tone,” Jiyho yelled back

“I wanna do something fun for once! Like there gotta be something we can do” 

“Idea!” Jennie said sitting up quickly from your bed she was sitting on

“Lets go to the waterpark!” 

“Oh my gOD I haven’t been in years, y/n can we go??” 

You looked between the two rowdy girls, contemplating this idea 

I mean, what was there to loose? You loved the water and going to a waterpark genuinely sounded fun

Except for the fact you were not a strong swimmer 

You figured you would still go to swim, but nothing too crazy 

You threw your book down and stood up

“Fuck it, lets go” 

 An hour later, you and ur girlies drove over to the closest waterpark

Typhoon Lagoon 

“I haven’t been in years!” Jiyho said as you passed through the gates

“I wonder whats changed.”

Leaning back in the front seat, you also wondered the same thing

After spending a shit ton of money JUST TO GET IN i’m big mad about the one day pass like tf

Y’all found seats near the water to sunbathe 🤩🤩

Laying out your stuff, you just happened to look up for a second

And thought you had had developed sun stroke and went to heaven

Cause w h o was that fine ass angel in the lifeguard tower??

And apparently you said this out loud cause your friends immediately whipped their heads to check him out 

“He is cute” Jiyho whispered “Do you think he’s available?”she questioned, to which Jennie smacked her 

“Eyy y/n called dibs relaxed” Jennie grumbled

 But you weren’t listening

You were too focused on staring burning holes into that beautiful boy’s back

y/n stop being whipped challenge: failed 

You immediately made a pact with your friends to try and get this cute boy’s attention at all cost today

When he wasn’t busy that is!!! please don’t try to distract a working lifeguard 

Standing up straighter and smiling while sending little glances up at the chair, mission get y/n their man was a go 🤪👊🏼

Meanwhile, Seungkwan was bored™️

There was little to do at Disney, since everything was pretty much baby-proofed

expect for the wave pool, where he was currently stationed 

The amount of dumb tourists that were knocked down by waves and then proceeded to come to him to complain when it is literally called a wave pool was frustrating to say the least

Like he’s supposed to be on duty, what is he supposed to do, fight the pool? headass 🗿

So whlle he was grilling away in the heat, he decided to people watch

his personal talent

And his eyes landed on you and your rowdy friends

Mentally groaning to himself, he sat up straighter to make sure to keep extra watch on your group

It was always the rowdy groups that caused the most trouble 

Trying to not make it so obivous he was babysitting your group from far away, he only took sparring glances at your and your friends

Meaning he missed the signals you sent to him to,,, “flirt” if you can even call it that 

Which was frustrating,, to say the least

So with you growing more and more unconfident in making Kwannie turn, your friends immediately knew what they had to do when they got to the deeper part o the wave pool 

Which was faking you drowning

Sounds kinda desperate but how else were you gonna get his attention?? he’s a working man

Jennie cleared her throat after sending Jiyho a look

“Hey y/n, lets go in deeper!” 

You immediately got nervous with that 

“I don’t know guys,,, its already pretty strong over here, and its barely up to our thighs,,,”

 Jiyho just waved it off “You’ll be fine, you have us to hold you up<” Jiyho started

“And if anything goes wrong, mr cute over there can hold you up ;)))” 

“Y’all better not be planning my funeral” you warned wearly as they dragged you deeper into the water

Jennie + Jiyho: “Don’t worry!! You’ll live”

Watching you being dragged over to the deep end of the pool, Seungkwan started to really focus on you guys

Only to be blocked by Chan who stood in front of him

“Hyung, you can take break now, I got it” the younger boy stated

“Give me a couple more minutes” he muttered, eyes never leaving you and your friends

Chan followed his gaze over to the pool, where you were currently being dragged into shoulder height

“Ah! do you like one of them or something?” Chan said loudly

Seungkwan opened his mouth to say something when he heard a loud shout from the pool

Just as he thought, it was you that went under the waves

He cursed to himself, shoving Chan out of the way 

“Move fathead, I got this” he grunted before sprinting over to the scene 

Chan, ten seconds later: “fATHEAD?? BITCH-” 

Meanwhile during that short talk, you were trying to break free from your friends

“Guy I really don’t feel comfortable anymore, we’re almost over our heads!” you called, but they weren’t listening anymore

Struggling to break free, you coincidentally didn’t see the rather large wave coming towards you and your friends 

“Here we go!” Jennie shouted gleefully, as the wave crashed into the three of you 

Not expecting it, you took in a large gasp of pool water while under there, and were failing after Jennie and Jiyho let go of you

Panicking as if you forgot how to swim, your body completely went into fight or flight mode and you started to flail 

This in turn, made things worse

Just as your boy was about to completely knock out from sheer terror, a strong grip grabbed your arm and yanked you up

Sputtering and thinking it was Jennie you turned to give her a piece of your mind

Instead you found yourself being dragged to the land with a concerned Jennie and a near tears Jiyho behind you, the two apologizing profusely

Putting two and two together you slowly turned to see none other that the cute lifeguard from before,,, shit 🗿

Finally hitting ground where you could stand you gently pried your arm out of his grip

“I-I can stand from here,, but t-thank you for all your help,,,” you said awkwardly

He turned and gave you a hard look 

Expecting him to yell a you, you prepared for the worst

But wasn’t expecting his reaction  “It’s my job” Seungkwan said with a laugh, “Are you in need of any other assistance now that you have my attention?”

This was the opportunity you friends had been waiting on

“Actually yes!!” Jiyho started, briskly walking over to you two

“She’s still a little weak on her feet, could you maybe help her??” 

And guess what 

THE BITCH SHOVED YOU 

SHOVED YOUR WHOLE BODY ON SEUNGKWAN HJDKDF

BRUH IF IT WANS’T BAD ENOUGH-- THE GIRL DON’T QUIT 🗿

Seungkwan, as if he was expecting it, caught your flying body before you knocked the two of you over

“Careful now, you did nearly swallow the whole pool” he joked 

“Watch it” you said gently hitting his arm

As unprofessional as it was, Seungkwan couldn’t help but admit that you were really pretty,,,

He couldn’t really tell from afar and underwater, but damn

Boy was: whipped

SO he was gonna try and milk any time he could have with you 

“Maybe we should have you checked out, just to make sure” he said

“YES! She would love that!” Jihyo blurted, making you turn pink

Smooth Jiyho. 10/10 

“O-oh? Your face is turning red,” Seungkwan said, feigning ignorance. “ I think we should at least give you sunscreen or a some water.” 

So with that said, he took you over to one of the huts selling drinks and bought you one

“Wait-” you started but he raised a hand. 

“No need,” he said with a smile. “After all, it’s my job.”

“At least let me pay you back somehow,,” You said ”I feel bad that you saved me and bought me water.” 

“Just your name with be enough” smooth, Kwan

“It’s y/n” you said, sticking your hand out. “And you? What’s yours? Or should I keep calling you the cute lifeguard that saved my life?” 

Now its Seungkwan’s turned to be flustered uwu

“I’m Seungkwan. But cute lifeguard works too,,,”

After returning to our friends with your water and a comfortable silence between you and Seungkwan, you turned to him

“When’s your next break? Maybe,,, if you want company,, I can chill with you while they go swim?” you questioned bashfully 

“I would love that”

During his short yet sweet break, you guys got to know each other better 

Seungkwan tried to finesse the system and tried to make Chan take his second shift 

“Im helping the poor soul who nearly drowned! D R OW N E D, Chan. I’m in a therapy session right now shut up” 

Chan, not having it: Shut up bitch- IF YOU THINK FOR  A SECOND YOU’RE GETTING OFF FOR CALLING ME FATHEAD 😤 

RIP Seungkwan 

Later, as you were finally leaving the pool, Seungkwan jogged up to you stopped you yet again 

“Wait!” He said, nearly out of great from running from his shift

“I know it’s a little early but, can I get your number?”

*Cue internal screeching*

“S-sure!” And with that the two of you shot each other a quick text so the other would have the number saved

As you sat in the car talking to the two troublemakers up front, your phone dinged once more

Cute lifeguard 😊💞: hey, when can I see you again?

You nearly made Jennie crash the car after the scream you let out LMAOO

And once you told the girls, they screamed too DBDJDB

Texting back quickly you responded with:

You: I’m free Friday night, if you wanted to catch the Disney fireworks?

Cute lifeguard 😊💞: works for me! See you then! 😆

BRO WHO LET BOO SEUNGKWAN BE THIS CUTE

me that’s who 🤪

Putting the phone down and grinning, you couldn’t help but be excited for whatever was next to come with you and Seungkwan

Who knows, maybe this summer will be a memorable one with a boyfriend?? Only time would tell ;))

[mysteriescomeinthrees]

EPISODE 3: We’re in the Upside-Down but I’m happy to be Here - Jinx

ok soooo I did not stick to my own plan but it's fine we're gonna be ok Ep 3: I Will Not Beg You to Play Well https://voca.ro/198BUGITWV41

I will die for jinx and jones

I was gonna record another video, but I currently look like a greasy sewer rat and Jarod has been asking me to make a confessional, so I decided to just write out my thoughts.  I think Jarod wants me to dive more into my thoughts regarding pirate’s counsel, so I will start with that.   From my experience, first boots are almost always the easy vote. It’s hard to really build enough trust with people to truly convince them to keep the more unknown person over a person they have SOME level of trust with. When it came to my crew, I was the obvious first vote out. This became especially abundantly clear when I heard that Roxy had already announced to the blue crew that I was fucked.  I already had the idol so I knew I had a safety net in place, but who wants to use their idol on the first vote??? I immediately tried bonding with people - especially those that I had some level of connection to. My first person I tried to connect with was Autumn.  We had a mutual with Jinx, so I thought we could potentially connect and work together. I know that everyone is connected to Jinx though, so I wasn’t sure how strong that mutual was.  We had a call, which I thought went really well. We bonded over law, and she seemed keen on working together. Besides Autumn, I didn’t feel like I was successfully making connections. I felt like I needed to make a change and that’s when I decided chaos is a ladder. I took a new approach from trying to have light hearted good conversations, to messaging everyone more aggressively about why Roxy said I was fucked. This is when I really started to bond with Cindi.  She didn’t know Roxy has said that, and felt a bit excluded from her trio and the crew I think. We really bonded and she shared that she had an extra vote and an idol, and I shared I had an idol. When I realized that the others were not going to be willing to flip, I realized I would need to use the idol, and I needed to figure out the best person to cut moving forward and how to do damage control for post tribal. I was worried about all the AllStar players, so knew that Caeb would be safe and I would take out one of them. I still hoped I could work with autumn in the future, and obviously loved Cindi, so I knew it was between Eve or Andrew. After learning about connections, I felt that Eve was the most connected, from Allstars and playing with Caeb, so I felt if they left, I would have the best chance of integrating myself. I also spoke the least with Eve, so it was a win win for me. Cindi also agreed, which was really important to me.  Andrew was feeding Cindi info and could prove an asset.  I did feel it was really important that everyone knew Eve was my target.  I made sure to campaign all day so people felt I was nervous and wouldn’t have an advantage, so the plan would work.  I also wanted people to not feel too betrayed after tribal, since they all knew I was pushing Eve. The next thing we needed to decide was whether or not Cindi voted with me or not. I didn’t care, since I was playing the idol. In the end, Cindi opted to vote against me to try to keep the relationship with Andrew. I think they still think im on an island by myself, when Cindi and I are extremely tight now. Moving forward, I honestly don’t know if I’ve gained much more social capital on my crew. I think im ~okay~ with everyone, but I think im still at the bottom. But, I have an extra vote that Cindi gave me, so I have some level of security going forward. I really hope our two trios work together going forward. Luckily I’m good at challenges.  We have won the past two challenges so have some level of safety.  My goal for the rest of the game is for my trio and Cindi’s trio to make merge, and then we can really do some damage.  I know Kai and Bohdi also have bonded well.  Hopefully we just keep winning and I get a good swap scenario. I’m guessing we swap to two tribes at 14.  I still feel like an underdog, but with a certain level of tenacity, anything is possible.

My tribe is going to its first tribal and I am terrified. I have no clue what to expect or how this will go. I trust in jinx and henry that the vote is on Pippa, its sad but I need to stay. My two trio members are not going to perish in vain so I will slay anyone who stands in my way. 

Thankfully we're safe but you still gotta worry about your trio members ur never free from the anxiety

Hello, this is a mandatory confessional. Im currently getting my tarot for the game being read by Jinx and whew its a lot for me right now. Im really intruiged by all this and i feel like its so deep and impactful but right now im feeling a tad overwhelmed. Right now all signs are pointing to me to me breaking the chains of my past and make top 9, but also maybe get out immidiatly at 9. According to the cards the biggest obstacle in my path to success is me and im gonna really take that to heart this game

Sappho going to council… DISGUSTING!! Basically I’m the vote but Andrew got a power to let me leave council and be safe ❤️ So I shall be using that !! Jinx and I had a good talk and I’m hoping we are okay bc I genuinely wanna work with them. BUTTT jinx is a legend I am constantly weary of. So I shall see y’all in round 4 but will I survive past that?? I smell a swap 

It was pretty gutting seeing Kai able to go to the bay instead of Jordan, who actually campaigned to keep her. Hell, I thought I also had a decent relationship with her after encouraging her to attempt the puzzle. Hopefully Kai actually found a disadvantage like he said, but there’s no way to tell because it “won’t be revealed until its applicable.” Never in my LIFE have I seen a disadvantage worded like that. Something to keep an eye on. Coulee was unfortunately voted out by our team last round and I think it was a squandered opportunity to take out a power player. With one of the most egregious mistakes I have ever seen in an ORG, Coulee being voted out makes sense in terms of keeping the team strong. I really think there’s other reasons though. Bodhi and Mo shutting down the chance to take out someone as skilled at the game as Kai is a little concerning. I have to assume that Mo and Bodhi are at least closer to Kai than they are to Jordan and I. Bodhi specifically I’m skeptical of after they told me there were no other names tossed around…when Jordan definitely had a convo with him about voting Kai. I really trusted Bodhi before this but now I have to be cautious around them to. Also, I had a short conversation with Mo about potentially switching the vote up. I didn’t outright say it, just hinted at it by saying “maybe we should stick to how el farto voted.” I was hoping that reminding them that Caeleb has technically already voted against 101 would get them to consider switching their vote but they didn’t bite. Maybe I should have done more here, but I would be risking myself becoming the next target on this team. I’m thrilled we won the letter number challenge because things aren��t looking good for me on my team. Joyita going to council would have meant Jordan or I probably going home. Unfortunately though, we found out pippa is getting votes which isn’t much better! We do have our safety without power advantage, so Pippa isn’t actually going home, but we did have to figure out who we’re telling. Jordan was nice enough to tip me off about her getting votes after I asked, so I decided to tell him about Pippa’s power. I think him telling Jinx this information would allow them to stay in control of the vote and further solidifies our two trios working together. Though in the moment on call with Jordan, I’m not sure I was delivering it with the most conviction. I’ve never been in a situation quite like this before and I think he noticed I was wavering about telling him or not. Is he gonna put it together that I found this item under his nose and didn’t tell him, or is he even going to care. IDK!! My wheels were turning and though I was a little clumsy with my words, I told him about the advantage so he could tip off Jinx. I followed it up with reassuring him that it was in our best interests for our two teams to work together and that he was my number one. I’m definitely going to have to do some damage control because he’s going to realize I held back information from him, but I think I was still able to get across that keeping him and his trio safe are my top priority. Can’t wait to see how that goes :’)

Also this game makes me tire. Or maybe I need to eat more vegetables. Who knows.

kickflipped

IVE BEEN UNPACKING ALL DAY AHHHHH

I’ve been looking for my cat so I can’t like do a conf love you hosts 

So me jinx and Jabari are going strong! Just talked to jinx today I feel so tight with her we’re like inseparable. I’m sitting between three trios: Kai Sarah me Bodhi Cindi me Jinx Jabari me All of whom I don’t want to betray sooo it’s gonna be tough. I’ll probably end up being loyal to Kai and Sarah, as both the other duos want to work with my trio. So yeah! We originally wanted Roxy out for this tribal and she had told me she was coming after Sarah and Bodhi to my face and I was like 😳 girl you know I’m working with them at least lie. But uhm it’s become abundantly clear that Pippa is not pulling her weight in challenges so that was the move. However right before tribal we caught wind of Pippa advantage where she could leave tribal and be safe, but lose her vote. We decide to pivot the vote to Jones: and she goes home. However jinx told Roxy to vote for me 🙄 whatever. Uhm I’m not mad but it’s still like something to think about. But yeah! So Jones goes home, and I move on to the next cycle :>

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1128476152

[survivormagictreehouse]

Episode #11 “Revenge? is a dish best served cold” -Ali

-all i have to say. all i have to say. is revenge? is a dish best served cold. that whole vote was a nightmare. but i've promised to be nicer in my confessionals/host chat so i'm gonna keep it nice. chips is completely a liar, like he just played into the bodhi plan for no reason and its so annoying! he thinks he is playing the middle with tact, but he is just playing it really like... wobbly. jess? never dissed. was honest with me, tried to keep me calm. I STAN JESS. i think she will probably win the season and i'm? here for it. i also love gavin and i feel so bad that he burned his idol for no reason. i feel like none of me/cindi/ruthie is making it to the end, so i hope to be able to vote for gavin or jess. collin is a sweetheart, definitely the best player on his side. i also love rachael now that is also a sweetheart. timmy i do not vibe with, am never hear for men calling women bitches. as men we can and should do better than gross crap like that. birch is lovely, they never seem to know whats up in this game JKFDAS but they are a sweetheart never the less!. anyway so i gave ruthie the idol? because i stick with my allies. and if people are calling us a trio, why not keep cindi as the big threat and ruthie as the disconnected 'easier vote', keeps me cushioned comfortably in the middle mhmm. it was definitely risky but also having two idols was making me feel literally SICK. so agenda moving forwards? work down from that. i also have a jury of men who are likely to dislike me so what can you do about THAT, i'm here to have fun and pull off some cracked shenanigans and i sure did just do that. would LOVE to continue voting off men next round, chips or timmy suits me fine idc which one. my agenda this season is to make sure one of gavin/jess/ruthie/cindi wins the season JNKFDAS screw the rest. they can all GO. but once again bodhi... this is what happens when you tussle with me. in the words of that one game of thrones character (i havent seen the show)... tell bodhi.. i want him to know it was me.

-two final thoughts: - trent has pointed out that this is the third vote out in a row where i said twenty-four hours before tribal 'i want it to be' and then said who left. that streak will DEFINITELY end tho JNKDAFS - i feel like idoling bodhi while unambitious, was good for my game. he has the capacity to come after me lategame, he was connected to people i wasnt, breaks up that voting block of 4 while keeping in collin/rachael who trust me more. im... at peace.

-https://youtu.be/Yy5THF05qjg (from the day after Bodhi left)

-hello okay so today has been... so illuminating? main points are that i do not trust jess, and do trust collin and rachael again? also chips is full of LIES. and as i took a 10min break from writing this i started second guessing myself again, maybe collin is lying. honestly everyone on this tribe is confusing. i've been defending this trio narrative all day but people maybe dont even care. also i feel bad for bodhi that is a king even tho he is so shady all the time as a player NJDFKLAS. cant wait to join him in jury.

-okay so i am once again frustrated. ruthie, gavin and cindi never dissed. rachael and collin are also all good, but the rest whewie. first up jess. jess is my friend and this is by no means a reflection of her as a person, but as a player oh my GOD she is so frustrating. she just has no like... conviction as a player? like jess what do you stand for in this game, what are you as a player. i said in my host chat but talking to her is like trying to staple jelly to a wall, as a player she just... is so. so hollow? idk i just wanna see her have conviction and to see her fight for something . chips is also frustrating as a player he just sits and has an agenda of 'splitting up groups', but all that happens is he gets picked up by a group to target another group, what has he... actually done? he is #2 on my angry list, and top spot is taken by... timmy. timmy i am talking to for the first time in a few days today and its incredibly frustrating. he is sending me this wall of excuses and i? do not want to hear it. i should not have to explain to a grown man that calling a woman a bitch, and he can say he 'snapped and crossed the line' and that it was out of character all he wants but i- do not want to hear it. timmy can be mad all he wants after he gets blindsided and say the entire tribe talks down to him, but then when he leaks cindi's ENTIRE PLAN, cindi isnt allowed to be mad at him? and cindi also kept it as GAME. this is what is so frustrating to me, i've had videos made about how annoying i am in games, i've had people say all sorts of gross personal stuff about me and so i dont wanna hear it. i've had people call my game the worst they have EVER see and i just sat there and took. i. do. not. want. to. hear. it. this game has reminded me of three things, how much i love ruthie (my undisputed closest ally at this point), how much i love olivia and lukas and how much i hate men.

WELL, WELL, WELL... another round of complete and utter RADIO SILENCE. with allegiances to almost everyone left in the game aside from chips, bodhi, and collin, this round was destined to be extremely hard to navigate. there was a lot of talk about breaking up the "trio" of ali, cindi, and ruthie. while i can recognize the danger of keeping a trio in, it is also an enormous target ahead of myself and my duo with jess. an alliance was formed between myself, jess, timmy, and rachael, and we essentially wanted to vote with timmy and rachael to avoid them feeling discluded from the vote and having no trust with us. despite the silence, ruthie's name began to rise above, which as much as i love ruthie, i wanted to be able to appease to timmy and rachael while still being in a "middle position" where i could play both sides that are starting to form. however, during the final fifteen minutes of the vote, CHAOS broke free. bodhi's name started get pushed by ruthie and ali, and as much as i loved that idea, the numbers were not there. so, i encouraged ruthie to play an idol on herself if she had one because otherwise she was leaving, so either way, i would not be at fault for her getting votes. however, bodhi began to try to push a back-up plan to get votes on me instead of him... and when ruthie played her idol, i couldn't risk it knowing how few votes it would take to control the outcome of the vote. so, i wasted my idol. HOWEVER, this seemed to work out well for me, because people seem to trust me a lot more and were very sympathetic towards me wasting it... so i am going to ride on that sympathy for the next few rounds.

So class, today we're going to talk about the difference between a villain and a bitch. I think the class is confused about the distinction. A villain plays the game for themselves. They do not take their alliances seriously or they use them to steam roll. I have been guilty of both of these within this game. I am a villain in this game. You can call me that and I will give you game-related sass back because that is what villains do. Call out my game. It has been chaotic and has a lot of flaws. It's ugly. It hurts people who thought they were close to me (almost everyone thought they were close to me at merge so someone's gettin hurt). A bitch is a personal insult. To call someone that implies that they have explicitly hurt you personally within this game. I would consider a bitch to be someone who, I don't know, attacks someone's personality because they didn't align with them in-game. I'm done with Timmy. He can continue pulling his "No one talks to me" card all he wants, it's a game move that I will never respect, especially when people did talk to you about the Keegan vote. And to be clear, people did talk to both Timmy and Rachael about the Keegan vote. They can claim no one talked to them but the idea was floated by them and they shut it down and Keegan found out about it shortly after. So someone leaked it to him. So when we're looking to get him out last minute I'm sorry that you are not on my list of who to call to vote him out. I've been a shit ally to both Rachael and Timmy and I legitimately was going to try to make that better. Now I think I'm just gonna keep voting Timmy till he's gone and if Rachael stays I'll switch to her. I probably won't actually do that, but I'm over it. I will not vote with Timmy, if I learn he's in on a plan I'm throwing my damn vote somewhere else. 

-SO... ALI SENT ME HIS IDOL and I used it and I didn't go home!  It sucks that I got so many votes and it looked like the one that blabbed was Chips which is disappointing but oh well. I can't believe at one time I trusted him more than Cindi and Ali.  I'm so glad I told her about the counting to get an advantage and not Chips because I really thought about it but Cindi was the last person I had PM'd and had kept  me in the loop so I told her.   Also we made another alliance with the three of us annnnd Gavin and Jess who were both down but as soon as I made it, neither one of them talked? Like...  I know everyone has a life but I expect people to be around when I make an alliance chat!! :k So... we will see what happens with that, the three of us may be screwed after all, lol. 

-I really hope that Cindi is going to stay... time will tell what will happen and who people can kind of trust. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcNPArwK8PM&feature=youtu.be

hello I am drinking at a wedding and hope I don’t get voted out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

This vote and this round are sad and ugly because it became personal. I still really don't know what to do but am sticking with the first person who talked to me today. Hoping that once either of the two is out of the game that this can turn back into being a game.

After the confrontation with Cindi last round, I knew this round was going to be tricky. In the challenge, we all had two secret books we had to figure out who's books belonged to who. I was able to somehow get everyones except for Ruthie and Cindi. Cindi lied about her books to someone else and they told me the lie (not knowing it was a lie) so the 4 points I missed were both of their books. After the vote, Cindi posted in the main chat that it had to be her or I who went home this round, which tore a lot of people up because they are friends with both of us and do not want to choose sides. I do not believe that Cindi posted that for people to choose sides, but more for her mental health. Sadly, to find that closure it does involve people choosing sides. So far, everyone besides Ali and Ruthie have told me in a way they are saving me, but this is survivor anything can happen. I am on my guard, but we will see when the vote comes down today. If I survive, this could become a large turning point for my game.

an exhausted gavin has made an appearance to his confessional... my main goal was to win immunity after misplaying my idol last round. can we talk about how embarrassing that is? luckily, i think i am positioned well enough where i am no one's first target, and if i am, not enough people would turn against me. i have been trying to play the middle, and this vote between cindi and timmy has definitely put that position into jeopardy. i just need to do my best to remain close to ali and ruthie, and then from there i can focus on taking out people like collin who is in a similar position as i am trying to play the middle. unfortunately, this vote is breaking my heart, but i don't want a trio to dominate the game as much as i love cindi. so, at this point, i am voting for her... but i am not opposed to her staying.

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Click HERE to watch the Round 11 Cast Assessment 

[yoon-kooks]

Lie- Part 14

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst / Fluff

Summary: There was a time when you loved him and he hated you. Now you hate him, but does he love you?

Parts: 0 // 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11 // 12 // 13 // 14 // 15 // 16 // 17 // FINAL

During your lunch break, you sat alone in the library to study for one of your upcoming biology exams. On most days, you and Jimin would eat together, but he also had obligations with his dance group at least once a week during lunch. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a little lonely without him, but it was also good to have some space away from the boy. Always being so close to him, you wondered if Jimin ever thought of you as a burden, something holding him back. Because that was the last thing you wanted to be.

“Hey, you’re Y/N, right?” You jumped at the sound of two girls interrupting your reading on natural selection. They looked and sounded familiar, but you weren’t sure of how they knew you.

You nodded slowly as they helped themselves to the two empty seats next to you at the table.

“We saw you walk home with Park Jimin the other day?” the girl with the messy bun said. You assumed she was talking about how you had waited for Jimin after his dance practice. She and her friend must’ve been the same girls that had been fawning over him during that time.

“What’s your relationship with him?” the ponytail girl added with a nudge of her pointy elbow into your arm. You certainly did not appreciate their attempt at being chummy with you. If anything, they were only talking to you because they knew you were close with Jimin.

“We’re friends.” You rubbed your arm.

“Just friends?” Messy Bun raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms.

“Yeah.”

“So you’ll gladly support me if I asked him out on a date, right?” Ponytail spoke in a passive-aggressive cheerful voice and batted her long eyelashes at you. She looked ready to pounce at any second if you didn’t give her the response she was looking for.

You didn’t answer. Of course, you wouldn’t support that. Maybe you would’ve been supportive if the girl actually took the time to get to know Jimin, or at least showed any kind of respect towards you. But there was no way you were going to hand your friend over to someone rude like that.

“Aww, you have a crush on him too, don’t you?” Messy Bun thought she was so smart. It might’ve been the truth, but she or her friend knew nothing about the kind of relationship you and Jimin had. It was already a very touchy subject for you, and they definitely didn’t have any right to take jabs at you about it.

“Jimin rejected you, huh. Let me guess—friendzoned? It’s okay, we won’t tell anyone!” Ponytail said in an awfully loud and obnoxious voice. You noticed other students were popping their heads up from their books to see what was happening. Attracting attention was something you always tried not to make a habit of, but the two girls weren’t helping at all. You just wanted them to leave you alone.

“I never rejected Y/N.” You felt a set of warm hands on your shoulders. That alone was almost enough to bring tears to your eyes. Jimin had said ‘no’ to your face so many times over the years. So many times, that you had lost count and almost accepted the fact that you and him would never be anything more than friends. And yet, there he was, lying through his teeth in front of everyone only for your sake. “In fact, we’re going to Big Bang’s concert together this weekend.” He waved bye to the girls before grabbing your biology textbook in one hand and your hand in the other to pull you away from the mess.

“Jimin,” you called as soon as the two of you were out of the library. “You didn’t have to lie for my sake, you know. Everyone’s gonna think we’re dating now…”

“Y/N, don’t worry about that,” he said softly, pulling you to a stop. But his own eyes were filled with worry. “Those girls were messing with you because of me, right?”

You shook your head. The girls might’ve approached you merely because you were associated with Jimin, but that didn’t make the situation his fault. It wasn’t his fault that the girls were rude. Nor was it his fault that you were too weak to stand up for yourself. And you hated how he automatically blamed himself and took responsibility for it.

“Let me know if something like that happens again, okay?” He looked at you as if the whole situation had hurt him as much as it had hurt you. But you couldn’t just ask him for help and interrupt one of his get-togethers with his dance friends. That would only make you a burden to him.

“Jimin, I’ll be fine.” You had to be strong.

“Are you sure…?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” You smiled at the boy and tried to change the topic quickly. “So what was that about a Big Bang concert?” You weren’t sure if he had just said that to put up a façade in front of those girls and the rest of the students in the library, or if he was serious. Because you had always been under the impression that he wasn’t into idols.

“I won a pair of free tickets, so let’s go together, okay?” His eyes brightened up.

“Thank you, Jimin.” Part of you felt like he was only trying to make you feel better after being bullied, but a larger part of you wanted to believe that he was actually asking you out on a date. Either way, you were grateful that he would always be there for you whenever you needed him.

Out of nowhere, you wrapped your arms around the boy, trying to take in as much of his warmth and comfort as possible. You knew it was only a matter of time before the boy pushed you away like he had whenever you got too touchy. Except this time, he didn’t. He just let you hold him for as long as you wanted. He knew exactly how much you needed him in that moment.

You were aware of how selfish it was, but you didn’t want to let go.

-

After you hugged Jungkook goodbye, you entered your apartment and tossed your bag to the side before hopping onto your bed with your phone. The first thing you did was check the text Yoora had sent you earlier during your date.

9:06PM Yoora “hey i know its late but lets meet up”

9:39PM Y/N “ya sure! come over anytime~”

9:40PM Y/N “i just got back from a date with kook”

9:45PM Yoora “ok”

Yoora only lived a few minutes away from you, so your apartment had always been the designated meeting place for nighttime chats and gossip. Surely this time was no different. She probably just couldn’t wait to share some good news about her and Jimin. Then you could tell her about your fun date with Jungkook. And everything would be fine.

You opened the door as soon as you heard a knock, but to your surprise, your friend didn’t look excited at all. You could only think of one explanation for the puffiness and redness in her eyes. She must’ve taken your advice and asked Jimin out only to be rejected. But that was only half of the reason for her tears.

“Hey what happened?” You pulled the girl through the doorway and sat her down on your bed, handing her a box of tissues. “Is it about Jimin?”

“Y/N, you knew.”

“I knew what?”

“You knew he’d reject me.”

“How could I have known that?”

“Y/N, Jimin’s your childhood friend, isn’t he?”

You didn’t say anything. Jimin had clearly told Yoora your secret. But before you could even be angry at the boy, you were terrified of losing Yoora’s trust. Your mind flooded with regret—you should’ve told her yourself before she had to find out the hard way from Jimin. The damage could’ve been limited, but now you couldn’t even blame Yoora if she walked out on you for good. You were a terrible friend.

“How could you not tell me about that?”

“I just couldn’t!” You could never bring yourself to tell Yoora that the love of her life used to be the love of your life. If you had told her Jimin was your childhood friend, there would’ve been no way to leave out the fact that you had also been so in love with him. And although you had told yourself that you no longer had those feelings for the boy, you were certain that your history with Park Jimin would’ve been enough to build tension in your friendship with Yoora.

“But you still encouraged me to ask him out when you knew he had feelings for someone else?”

“I was only trying to help you and him by-”

“Well thanks. You literally ruined everything.”

“Yoora, please-”

“Honestly, it’s whatever. I just wish you didn’t lie about it to my face.”

“I wasn’t trying to lie… I just wasn’t ready to tell you yet…”

“Y/N, am I not your best friend? The least you could’ve done was trust in me.”

“I’m so sorry, Yoora…” Those were the last words to said to your friend before she slammed your door shut on the way out. But you knew that apology would never be enough.

-

Before you knew it, a whole week had passed since your fight with Yoora and the Bangtan concert in Seoul was approaching. At that point, you were expecting to go to the concert alone, rather than follow through with the original plans to go with your friend.

All you could do was sigh. First you had lost Jimin, and now even Yoora wouldn’t speak to you. And it would probably only be a matter of time before Jungkook left you as well. You felt so alone.

But you had no one else to blame but yourself. If only you had been more open and honest with your friends. What were you actually trying to accomplish by keeping everything a secret? Were you really trying to protect them? Or was it only to protect yourself?

Buzz! You lifted your head from your pillow to check your phone, somewhat expecting it to be someone with the wrong number.

6:06AM Kookie “are you excited for tomorrow???????????!!!!1”

6:09AM Y/N “whats tomorrow?”

6:13AM Kookie “the concert!!😡😡”

6:14AM Y/N “lol im kidding”

6:15AM Y/N “ofc i remembered the concert!”

6:16AM Y/N “and why tf are you up so early??”

6:18AM Kookie “im just anxious😳😳”

6:21AM Y/N “for the concert and tour?”

6:22AM Kookie “yA! and im just excited youll be in the crowd~”

6:24AM Y/N “but its not like youll actually see me in such a large stadium😂”

6:25AM Kookie “ill find you bc youre special🙈🙈”

6:27AM Y/N “k im taking your word on it😂”

6:28AM Kookie “wait!! at least tell me what section youll be sitting in?”

6:30AM Y/N “thats cheating! what happened to finding me bc im special??”

6:31AM Y/N “lol jk thats bullshit. ill be standing in the pit😘”

6:34AM Kookie “okaaay got it👍👍”

6:35AM Kookie “actually ima go back to sleep now😪”

6:36AM Y/N “me too bc someone wOKE ME UP”

6:36AM Kookie “😪😪😂”

But as much as you wanted to fall back asleep, you couldn’t. Whether or not Jungkook really meant it when he said you were special, his words stuck with you. He never failed to put a smile on your face, and you were just so grateful that he hadn’t given up on you yet. What did you ever do to deserve a boy like him?

And from his messages, you were reminded that you weren’t alone. Even without Jimin or Yoora around, or even Jungkook when he left for tour, somehow you knew you’d be okay. From somewhere, you had gained that strength.

Buzz! You wondered what else Jungkook had to say, or if he forgot to mention something earlier. But it wasn’t a text from him.

10:23AM Yoora “um hey”

10:24AM Yoora “im really sorry i got upset with you about the jimin thing”

10:26AM Yoora “i mean, im still kinda upset but i get where you were coming from”

10:27AM Yoora “i know you meant well and ill forgive you if you forgive me”

10:28AM Yoora “we were gonna go to the concert together, right?”

You just stared at your phone screen in disbelief. You’d never thought Yoora would forgive you so easily. Not that you were doubting your friendship, but you thought you had really fucked up. You didn’t expect her to be the one reaching out to you because you thought that would’ve been your responsibility. Yoora was nice and had always been a great friend, but part of you knew something else was up. Someone had talked her into making up with you. He himself hadn’t spoken to you in what felt like ages, but you knew it was Jimin.

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 16 - “Debbie was right. Never trust a god damn redhead” - Owen

That tribal actually went better than I could have ever expected, even with Owen staying.  Owen definitely only had it set up to play his idol if an idol was played on Cullan, two idols burnt and one was def wasted by Cullan so now he doesn't have it to use later in the game if/when it inevitably comes time to start making hard decisions.  That play also drives Maynor/Timmy/Chips a little closer to me in that 6 person alliance which I absolutely need.  KAIT IS GONE!!!!!  Every round, every day she was buttering me up as jury management, I knew it, she knew it.  That is absolutely annoying, makes me want someone to win even less.  The reason I wanted Owen first was for the simple fact Kait would be more likely to try to work with me than Owen if she knew she was on the bottom.  Oh well, pretty good tribal for me all in all, everything turned up Ian.  

Debbie was right. Never trust a god damn redhead. Me: omg Maynor so cute love my showmance Me: omg Timmy and I putting our shit in the past love him Maynor and Timmy: rihanna.winking.gif In a way I deserve it. I made myself heard these last few votes with pulling together alliances at merge and going after Devon and Ian and even the Venus thing. And I accidentally revealed in the chat that Kait found my idol. It made sense for them to take a shot, although not sure why me and not Kait and matt who are more likeable and powerful lmao Now I’m just like.... okay Devon and Ian got what they wanted which is gross? Timmy and Maynor gonna try to sell this as their move but as far as I’m concerned Devon and Ian own it. I’m sure they capitalized on touchy subjects to make me strong and them weak. Moving forward I just hope that now that Kait is gone there are bigger fish to fry.... I’m gonna get drunk and then deal with this tomorrow lmao Two rounds ago I was stressed choosing between my two closest allies. Now both of them are gone and I’m fucked 😂

I’m shocked Owen knew to play his idol...I need to figure out how that happened. I am happy Kait left in the end though because that’s who I even said in the Ridiculous 6 chat but others wanted Owen and I didn’t feel like pushing too much because either going was fine to me. But 7-3 in the revote was spicy, I think it was Matt that flipped just to be in the majority for his piece of mind. Still don’t really trust him anymore because he’s a liar, but it is what it is. Should be interesting tomorrow when people have more time to talk.

I guess i’ll make one before going to bed cuz Johnny asked. So this challenge was cute. The fishes though were very douchey. Tbh when Timmy told me Ian had 19 million when I had 9 million, I was like Im not winning. I also thought Cullan was going to beast this challenge and get like 100 million. I was shook to find out that I won. And I won the final 9 immunity which means I beat my Guyana placement which is amazing. Im so happy. Now I just need to get further in this game. But first need to see who will be voted out at tribal tomorrow night. No names have been said yet. More updates tomorrow, i promise.

If Cullan's amateur hour costs me MY game for me.... then I guess I deserve it, alliance management is kind of my whole thing in these games. I try to make everyone I'm allied with to feel like I want to go to the top with them. I can fix this, I have too. Why the hell would you tell someone that 4 people already want to vote one way? Quit getting ahead of yourself, think of the future but focus on the round at hand. Single digits is a slow burn and every fucking step has to be precise. If I can manage to keep the "alliance" together Cullan just solidified why I want to sit with him in the end, he won't win.

So I’m still recovering from the real life hangover and survivor hangover of losing Kait and having my little alliance blown into smithereens. I still do trust Maynor and Madison moving forward but I definitely feel there’s less room to hide. All I can really do at this moment is kind of get on board with voting Owen, which btw I wanted to do anyway eventually hehe. Not having kait makes me nervous but I definitely feel less tethered and more free to make moves moving forward and I hope one of them involved actually getting cullans ass out smh I’m telling you he’s gonna win.

Odd day, not really sure what to do. I feel like doing Owen is predictable so I am exploring some options today. I am trying to see what is best for me going forward.  I think Owen Madison and Matt all have the jury votes at this point so getting them out may be good. But long term is that what is best for me, I don’t know. 

I feel lost...like I know what both sides are doing but being in the middle has its drawbacks knowing that maynor and i are on the bottom of both sides then which sucks. I think the best move tonight is to get rid of Owen but who knows what implications that will end up having. Will be interesting.

I had a dream I made a rlly funny confessional and then I woke up to find literally nobody has messaged me back except for Devon who is talking about god knows what I’m literally miserable without Kait. I thought that Maynor and Timmy would easily flip back to us and vote with me matt madison to break up the Devon Cullan Ian thing. But Maynor didn’t answer me all day and madison barely is. Timmy said ‘what moves are to be made’ ???? Matt at least came and told me Cullan said it was me and then told me Maynor and madison are in and they’re talking to timmy. Why are they talking to matt but not me??? It’s fucked up And then I yelled st Cullan and asked if he was just gonna let Devon and Ian drag him to the end and beat him and he was like ‘well I’ll vote them if there’s numbers’ lmao. Bitch idek god I’m tired of him asking me what the vote is all the time like GSKSHDB WHY DO U THINK I HAVE ANY CONTROL THIS ROUND I’m Absolutely about to lose my mind. I’m surprised it’s taken this long for me to snap but I legitimately can’t stand omg. Like I don’t even bother messaging chips or Ian lmao I don’t have anything to talk to them about I wish I could’ve won immunity. If I somehow stay tonight I need to figure something out 

I think Owen is gonna get voted out and if that happens I’m done! But let’s pray chips is going bye bye.

I’m absolutely pissed at Madison and Maynor. Why aren’t they fucking talking to me when they’re apparently telling matt they’ll do stuff???? What the fuck!? Matt is telling me Devon will apparently vote chips. Okay....? Like what do you want me to do or say? You have all the information rn because nobody will message me. I asked Matt if he thought we should still vote Ian and then if Devon rlly votes chips it would be 4-4-1 and I can use my tiebreaker. Matt was like ‘who would they vote I don’t want to make it too complicated’ I DONT KNOW WHO THEYD VOTE UR THE ONE TALKING TO THEM. I appreciate him trying to save me but it’s frustrayinf because I have no stability rn when they just ugh’nnn idk. Why hasn’t he made a group or some shit 

The vote tonight is going to be Owen, most likely. But Matt Madison and Owen wants to do Chips. I dont know if thats a good move. Its better to have Owen gone since he is a huge threat in the game. I just feel bad about voting for him again.

Alright, so here's a hot take of what's been going on with me and this game. Last round the goal was to vote out Owen because he's the biggest threat in a group of four that has been conspiring to control the game - the group is Owen, Kait, Madison, and Matt. The way I see the group breaking down is basically, Owen+Madison and Kait+Matt with each duo having a strong link between the four. A group of six formed to counter these four called the "Ridiculous Six" formed by Devon. It is my understanding that Devon was a "pawn" of the four before defecting after they tried to strike at Ian during the duos vote off. Since he felt "used" he defected and wanted to keep the four from keeping control in creating the group.

The four had control of two hangers-on in the form of Timmy and Maynor that they were using for two extra votes. Since they would potentially have the numbers if those two were to vote with them they let loose a "plan" to vote out Devon when in reality telling those two that they would be voting Cullan in case of telegraphing to Devon to play his idol - Cullan actually had an idol and played it and I think it prompted Owen in playing his. To be honest, I think that Owen sent to his tribe chat that he would play his idol IF Cullan had an idol played on him or played one himself. So no votes counted and then we just went with our second choice in Kait to vote out of the game. She left.

--

So the round following the vote seems pretty obvious to me, we need to try and vote out Owen. The group is scared to actually follow through on the vote because they think he will play an idol. I mean, if he does it's another idol burned and makes the vote easier. I know that that means we lose somebody but I dunno, if it were me getting voted out because of it I wouldn't be too pressed getting idoled out. Anyway, Cullan kinda let me know that there's a "secret" other plan to vote out Madison instead since she has a good social game, which I haven't seen. And also Matt is telling people to vote me instead to try and force a tie so that Owen can use his ACTUAL power that we know he has... I dunno man, if we end up voting out Madison instead (because they don't vote Owen) then I might be more flexible in what I do because Owen did that. And if I end up going then woohoo! That makes me 3/3 with getting ninth in a season in a row.

Looks like Devon and I are the middle know. Apparently he wants to get rid of Chips cuz of this hero arc?!?!? Interesting so need to know how he is voting. This is somewhat getting messy between Chips and Owen. Im glad I have immunity.

Ok this vote is SAUCY SAUCY SAUCY! The vote started with me wanting to target Madison as she is a social threat and has connections to maynor who would flip to their side (he already has). Chips became concerned that he wasn't being looped in on the vote so we decided to continue the push towards owen. Matt, madison, and maynor all agreed to vote for Owen but in reality they are voting for chips as that's the most viable option than can convince us to do as he is a "goat". He's a good ally so no way in hell am I voting him out. If owen and the gang survive this vote, they have majority and there will be a clear pecking order especially considering the fact he has a tiebreaker advantage. I feel confident in the five we have to vote for owen

i think im leaving this is all just bad devon apparantly wants chips and it wasd too much to try this forcing a tie shit so now we're just goin with chips which hopefully is enough but someone told cullan it was chips???? lmao so thats fun and i tried convincing cullan to do it but idk this whole thing is kinda fucked up soooo bye bye 

---

i wouldnt be so sad about this if kait were still here but there are literally so many personality-less people left in this game and if they get to the end ill literally die. madison and matt rlly about to be all i have left ro root for this is absolutely TRAGIC. imagine the first boot coming back into the game and getting dragged to the end as a goat fksadjfhjf GOD im so sad rn :((((((((((((((((((((((((((99 I WANTED TO DO SOMETHIN ICONIC IN THIS GAME BUT ALL I DID WAS FORGET TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND COMPLAIN at least ill prob win hq words

[gyeommine]

GOT7 As Roommates

So I was reminded of the one I did for BTS (which you could find here) and I thought this would be a cute thing to do <3

(gif credits to the original owners)

JB:

(hot ass)

he strikes me as a dad type

like he’ll be kinda protective of you, making sure you don’t stay out too late and come home at the right time.

he’ll say that it’s to keep a watch on you but he lowkey misses you.

typical dad always ends up falling asleep on the sofa.

so you always have to shake him to get him to actually go to bed.

you’ll feel really awkward when you accidentally call him dad bc he basically is

“is this a new fetish or something?” “shut up im jaebum”

also just another gross male that you have to deal with.

“leader of got7 or president of the US i don’t care, just wash the dishes”

people often mistake him for your boyfriend bc you guys are weirdly comfortable around him.

he’ll probably just walk around half naked with no shame

you’ll just throw his dirty laundry to get him to put clothes on.

does get a lil’ awkward if you’re ever upset.

will shyly admit he ordered take out to cheer you up and you chill for the rest of the evening.

he’ll get quite angry if someone has upset you or work is giving you a hard time but won’t show it.

since he’s a dad for thot7 as well, just expect the guys to often be over.

reliable dad friend roommate beom ™

you always make him cringe or make fun (in a friendly way okay)

you’ll be over sitting in a weird position on the sofa you’ll just be like “the a teaser, amirite” and poor boy would die of cringe.

with that weird dinosaur laugh he has

Mark:

(oh wow i am blind from staring at the sun)

he’s so quiet you’ll honestly forget he’s home.

he’ll just be coming out the bathroom and you’ll jump out of your skin bc when the heck did this boy get back from tour ??

it’d be a strangely quiet house.

he’s more often than not tucked away in his room on his phone.

ngl, he’d probably text you instead of shout out.

but when you guys do stuff together, there’s so much giggling than can be heard from 2 flats above and below.

you guys are organized and on it.

you got that chores and housework rota down and you both know who cooks on what days for the two of you.

you’ll be best buddies with jackson

sleepovers with the three of you !!!

he’s quiet, but boy’s trustworthy and reliable (aka the perfect roommate)

no milk ?? mark’s probably already spotted and bought 3 more cartons.

you’ll be film and music buddies.

you’ll just both be in the kitchen and you’ll hear.:

“hey (y/n) listen to this!”

and you’ll be jamming around for a few hours

you guys will also have a list of movies you wanna watch together.

and when he comes back from tour: a movie night ensues. 

overall you guys would have such a chill vibe.

if you had had a hard day at work, even just entering into your apartment would relax you completely.

if you were ever stress, he’d probably suggest going on a drive.

so at like 3 am, you’d get your guys’ chill playlist up and just drive for a while.

Jackson:

(the purest)

such a caring roommate and best friend.

he’s always checking on you and asking whether you need anything.

he’s always the first guy there to give you a friendly ear or a shoulder.

he sometimes just goes on for 30 minutes with random life advice.

it’d be super endearing.

the flat would be super loud.

it’s bc he’s so excitable about everything which makes him the cutest friend to have around.

everyone knows you guys have the liveliest flat.

and you’d always wonder how this idol that works all the time has SO much energy ??!

but such charisma wow - can charm his way out of anything.

if he breaks something, he knows exactly what to do.

fills the fridge with random organic shit.

you literally pull 3 new organic smoothies out of the fridge each day.

“where the hell are you buying all this?”

he won’t even need to label it bc you know it will always be his.

he’s also kinda protective of you.

he’ll send you like a million texts bc he’s super worried that you’re not home yet and you need to be safe

it’d be a stern side that you’d rarely see from jackson, but he cares about you a lot.

he sort of feels like it’s his duty to take care of you, bc you live under the same roof an’ all that.

“jackson you’re more strict than my real dad sometimes.”

but he’d prefer it if you saw him more as your big brother or something greasy like that.

Jinyoung:

(should i be offended by this ??)

he acts like a stressed middle aged mum with 5 small kids 24/7

but it’s just you along with the 5 kids he has with jb

the flat will always be perfection, spotless, 10/10, flawless.

he’ll live passive aggressive / sassy sticky notes to remind you to close the cupboard door or something like that.

sometimes you’ll wonder why he’d ever wanna share a flat with anyone bc he could easily thrive alone.

but he lowkey loves the company you give him.

y’all could be sitting in a room together for hours and not speak and he’d love it.

idk i could also see you guys going on walks together.

but if you ever ask him anything he’s just give you a sassy response - as if it’s a chore to live with you.

dw doods, he’s lying. that’s the middle aged mum sass.

he’ll tssk, roll his eyes a lot. 

but he’s a v good listener, and would happily let you rant about your days’ work @ him and he’ll have no complaints.

you guys will have deep convos all the time.

you’ll wake up bc the kitchen light’s on at 3 am and there’s jinyoung, sitting with a glass of water.

“what are you doing jinyoung?” “i can’t sleep.” “lol neither. so what’s the meaning of life?”

and you’ll be talking until like 6 am, by which point the glass of water has magically turned into a strong mug of coffee.

Youngjae:

(NATIONAL TREASURE. 10/10 AT EVERYTHING. CUTEST // PUREST)

this is another loud apartment when it comes to the thot7 bois.

he honestly just needs protecting, someone to keep an eye on him.

he laughs a lot and it literally lightens the flat, it’s such a good vibe.

but sometimes you don’t see him for days.

he’s either writing some sweet ass music or playing video games.

but he always appreciates you checking on him, even if he gets too shy and bumbly to admit it.

he always knows how to make you feel better even if that means just smiling and curing the world of its sins

probably wants to include you with got7 outings

he doesn’t want to make you feel left out or leave you at the flat by yourself.

and if you lightly scold him for something once, he’ll be careful to always do it and he’d be such a sweetheart.

you probably do the most work within the flat but he tries every once in a while.

he’ll get super nervous if he breaks or loses something and you’ll receive an odd text from him.

so you call him to make sure he’s okay, and he’s like “oh no, i just lost your headphones” and the relief you’ll feel.

you’re always there to reassure him if he ever feels insecure about his career or anything in life.

and it’s chill bc you know he’d do the exact same for you, it’s all around a pleasant and healthy environment.

you’ll also sneak in coco even if the apartment block doesn’t allow it.

Bambam:

(he looks so soft here. i highkey loved this hair on him)

do i even need to say that this flat is gon’ be loud as fricking heck

he’d just make random loud noises most of the time and you’d have to give him a “??? wtf” look.

don’t even get me started when yugyeom comes over.

ear muffs come free with the roommate.

i joke, but its’ actually always a hella good mood boost.

our resident meme cannot stand the thought of you ever being down in the dumps so is running around the flat doing dumb shit.

you can’t go anywhere with him bc he spends 3 hours getting ready.

“bam pls we’re only going to the grocery store just wear-” “NO”

then you contemplating going to the grocery store by yourself because bam “flawless model” bam needs to like 10/10.

but you always tell him you’ve seen him without makeup or high brow clothing and he still looks great.

pranks, pranks and more pranks.

did i mention inside jokes? plenty of those.

you guys will be like kids with your own secret handshake and a password you yell before entering the apartment.

“bam why’s the door locked?” “password.” / “but bam i-” “passWORd”

and you’d sigh, and yell “I like to dab with moose” and you’re in.

let’s just imagine the mortified look mum and dad (jjp) have when they come over for the first time and you yelling that.

Yugyeom:

(omg it’s me @ kim yugyeom aka the loml)

just accept the fact you’re going to be hearing music all the time.

you guys will have like a playlist of your fave songs and you end up just stupidly dancing and singing around the house.

sometimes he’ll clear the space in the living room and just dance.

he’ll get hella blushy and shy when you walk on him though.

that’s basically how the hit the stage dance got spoiled for you.

he’s so loud as well.

he’ll probably just yell “PABO” really loud from the other side ot the apartment to get your attention.

and you run over asking yourself why you moved in with such a child.

he’ll smile wickedly as you ask him “what’s wrong”

“nothing!!” he’ll say cutely. “KIM YUGYEOM I SWEAR TO-”

oho you guys will do a lot of childish shit, prank each other.

one of those roommate situations that everyone questions why you ever moved in together bc you’re both a bad influence on the other.

but you guys are obvs like the best of friends for sure.

it’s not fun for mum and dad (jjp) when you call them dumb names and get your ass beat.

you guys are partners in crime and it’s the cutest sHUT UP NOBODY TOUCH OR TALK TO ME.

you better believe you’ll be sitting right next to each other and still be screenshotting memes, giggling your asses off.

but you’ll be so proud and gushing over his performing and how far he’s come and awwww.

but you guys will be having the 10th pillow fight before you could admit to such mushy feelings.

HONESTLY GUYS ! i got so warm and fuzzy bc i wanna be best friends with bambam and yugyeom like you have no idea. also, i am also jinyoung. i write passive aggressive sassy notes to my brother all the time bc he does dumb shit. hope you guys enjoyed ! <3

SIDE NOTE: one of my closest friends and are I are sort of like bambam / yugyeom cross friendship. but i am so done with his shit, and he’s so done with mine  - it’s chill.

[ts-indonesia]

TRENT’S RESPONSES

Michael: 

I am the sole survivor because I came into this season ready to play the game. I have played this game since Day 1. I have been in alliances and made moves to guarantee that I would be at the end of this game. I was on two minorities (3 if you count the final 5 as still vets vs newbies) and I survived all of them due to relationships I formed, and moves I made. You were on the calls when I came up with and shared these plans and moves. For example, when we blindsided Owen. You were there when I pitched the idea to blindside him but use Stoner as the decoy target, for fear of idols. It was this plan that we used over and over for the rest of the game. Even after I found the idol  (the morning after Owen was voted out) and I figured out how to read the torches, I continued to let our fear and paranoia of idols exist because it made us 5 Nuchaya work closely and trust each other.

.

Owen:

I’m going to start by answering your last question first, because I feel like there are some misunderstandings about Jess’s and I’s relationship. Jess and I were not friends before this game. I knew of her, just like I knew of you, just like I knew of matt, etc, but I never once had a one on one conversation with her until she was an infiltrator in this game. Yes we had a connection through both being friends with Alyssa, but you and I shared that same connection. So this perceived notion that Jess and I were close friends and a tight duo before this game started is completely incorrect. 

When in this game did you make a difficult decision?

The most difficult decision I had to make in this game was choosing between my newbie alliance or my Nuchaya alliance. I really enjoyed playing with the newbies, and I loved the story we had of starting on Day 2, getting split, all 5 of us surviving, and then coming back together. But once I saw how close Chris O was to you and Stoner (through him leaking Anabel’s desire of getting Stoner out) I knew I could no longer work with them. Once I realized that I knew I had to stick with Nuchaya. But voting out Lorelei as a result of that was an incredibly difficult decision because I enjoyed being with that group so much. You say that sticking with Jess was a foregone conclusion but it never truly was until I had to make a decision between the newbies or Nuchaya.

 When in this game did you do something unexpected?

This is pretty much the same answers as above. I don’t think anybody in the newbie alliance expected me to turn on them. But in that moment of the game I had two separate paths I could take. And no matter which I took It was going to be unexpected by a group of people. After that move I had no reason to do something unexpected. I had a tight 5 that I could get to the final 5 and doing something else unexpected would have completely ruined my game.

 What about this game was hard for you?

I’m not sure if you mean hard as in a difficult move I made, or like emotionally hard, so I’ll just answer both. The hardest move I made was right after the Lorelei vote. You messaged me immediately asking why I lied. I had to play this off like I was tricked and I didn’t really know what was going on in this game. I had to do this because I needed you to believe me for the next vote.  Knowing you’ve played so many of these games and done very well at them, I was worried you would see right through it. 

The most emotionally hard moment in this game was by far voting off Olivia. Throughout the season I truly have grown to respect her and her game. So emotionally it was truly heartbreaking to have to turn on a friend like that.  Yes it was 100% the right game move, but that did not make doing it any easier.

were you always going to use that to be a tight duo?

I’m going to circle back around to this final part. I had two very tight duos in this game. One was with Jess and the other was with Anabel. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that these two are the other members of the final 3 with me. But no, I was not always going to stick with Jess until the end. Yes once I chose Nuchaya over the newbies I decided I wanted to go far with her, but if Olivia had won the final 4 immunity, I would have voted Jess out. I made a promise to Anabel night 1 that it was me and her until the end and I was going to stick to that promise. 

Leigh:

I’m not sure if you want a reply from me or what, but thank you for not letting your opinion of me affect Mosby’s cuteness. She is a good girl. I hope your dogs are doing well.

Chris O:

Isaac- I never got to see much of isaac’s game. We were only on a tribe together for a couple days. His biggest mistake was the self vote when voting as the infiltrator. The self vote was a major reasoning in voting him out of the game.

Leigh-  Leigh’s biggest mistake in the game was practically giving up after the Owen vote. She messaged people asking to vote her out and did not want to try anymore. 

Lorelei- Lorelei, as she mentioned, played with her heart on her sleeve. She played incredibly emotionally. Which in itself is not a bad thing, it just made her incredibly easy to read.

Lorelei:

I’d pick Anabel. She played better socially, she was in a power alliance that got her to the end and she always voted strategically. 

Issac:

Issac- Mr. Misunderstood- Eric Church- Personally I don’t know you well at all, and this song is about not knowing someone well.

Loreli- Friend Like Me- Robin Williams- Lorelei was a joy and has a bubbly personality that reminds me of a disney song 

Owen-  Shout- Isley Brothers- Owen is a great guy and fun to be around. Would be a joy to hang out with

Chris O- Nothing Suits me like a Suit- Neil Patrick Harris- Chris O is going to be a big wig at a bank one day because he is very smart and professional

Leigh- If you want to sing out, sing out- Cat Stevens- Leigh was always go with the flow and ok with everybody doing their own thing

Stoner- Young, Wild, & Free- Wiz Khalifa - Stoner has an incredibly chill personality. Here to have a good time

Michael- Till I Collapse- Eminem- Michael has a fighter's personality. Won’t give up and will do whatever it takes to be successful

Olivia- Mountains- Hans Zimmer- Olivia shares my love for movies, this is one of my favorite soundtracks because it is intense and incredible. 

Chris S:

For your first question of why I continuously lied and didn’t tell you I didn’t want to work with you is because I didn't know if eventually this game would take an unexpected turn. I wanted to have you as an option in case that did happen. If i would have told you early on I did not want to work with you, and then all of a sudden I found myself needing to work with you I feel like I would have gotten the response “Oh now you want to work with me”. So yes even though I continuously lied to you about the vote, I still wanted there to be a slight chance of us working together if I needed that for my game. 

As for us never connecting socially, I feel like we were just on different routines. You would message me if I was at work or asleep, then a couple hours later I would reply, then a couple hours later you would reply, and back and forth. If you ever felt that the reason was personal, then I do apologize because I promise you that was not the case. As for your request here are three things I learned about you:

You've never seen a season of Big Brother

You have a girlfriend who is 21

You smoke medicinally for REDACTED (I don’t know if the reason is out in the open but I don’t want to say it if not, so if i need to pm you to prove it I can, with the hosts allowance of course, but i didn’t want to put it out there for everyone else to see.

But if that last one doesn’t count, heres another, you are not a math person

Olivia:

Isaac: Admittedly so, Isaac and I did not have a strong connection due to the face we were only on the same tribe for a few days. But I learned that he was a waiter and was taking a break from school. We also both enjoy outdoor activities like hiking

Lorelei: I learned that she wanted to do finance but decided not to because math isnt her strong suit. She majors in cognitive science at a university in Canada (don’t want to give the name in case she doesn’t want too many people to know), she used to work at a hospital. And she recently got her wisdom teeth taken out

Owen: I learned from Owen that he has a sister that lives in Michigan, but owen currently lives in Chicago where he goes to school to be an English teacher. He loves theater and I think planning on teaching that as well. He works at a public library but also does student teaching. He loves reading and we connected over enjoying Ready Player One

Chris O: Chris O started playing orgs when he was 10 years old! He loves reality tv and is watching amazing race, but has done casting calls for Big Brother and Survivor. He works as a bank teller. He has family that are packers and Broncos fans but its a huge football fan himself

Leigh: Two dogs Daisy and Ace, two guinea pigs named Alice and Lily, one cat named miley. She used to work at a doggy day care. Leigh also lives in Chicago. Shes only played Facebook orgs before this season. She has a boyfriend. She is in school online. She used to be a paralegal but now she is a receptionist at a cancer treatment facility. Her mom works in the same clinic

Matt: Matt and I bonded over watching the Big Brother Finale and Survivor premier together, which i really enjoyed and had a fun time doing. Matt has worked in the same place the last 3 years and works in the backroom. Hes also going to school and majoring in Media and film. He is a Giants fan. Also plays fantasy football.

Stoner: Already answered in his question so im just going to copy and paste it. You've never seen a season of Big Brother. You have a girlfriend who is 21. You smoke medicinally for REDACTED (I don’t know if the reason is out in the open but I don’t want to say it if not, so if i need to pm you to prove it I can, with the hosts allowance of course, but i didn’t want to put it out there for everyone else to see.. But if that last one doesn’t count, heres another, you are not a math person

Michael: Works in customer service as a retail assistant.  Does not watch or play Big brother games. Has played previous orgs in minecraft. Plays D&D. Went to Melbourne recently for vacation. Recently broke his mic.

Olivia: Lives in California. Eagles Fan. Lost her mind when they won the superbowl. An art history major. Impression Sunrise by Monet is her favorite work of art. Loves lord of the rings, hosted a lord of the rings themed survivor. Loves every single season of survivor. Going to use her new tiki she made in ceramics as an urn for her upcoming org. Her dream job is to work as an art consultant on a tv show or movie to make sure the art is historically accurate.

Matt: 

Before answering your questions Matt I’m once again going to say, Jess and I did not have a friendship before this game. Yes we had mutual friends, but Jess and I had never spoken until round 2 when she was an infiltrator. I just want to make sure everyone who brings its up, sees that this is the case. But now to your questions:  

So when I say social gameplay I see it in two different ways. In one of the ways I do think it was strong, and in the other, I agree with the jury that I struggled. To me these two different versions of social gameplay are perceptions by the rest of the cast (during the season) and relationships with the rest of the cast. The reason I think I excelled in the perceptions category is because even though I would lie in a round, the people I lied to would still believe me the next round. I was good at explaining myself when caught in a lie or at least explain the reason I lied. I did this with Owen and Leigh after the very first merge vote.  To me, lying is part of a social game. Without having at least a decent social game, people will not continuously believe your lies.

Though on the other side of the coin I did struggle. I had a hard time making deep relationships with people. I had a hard time opening up to everyone. I did struggle with putting the game on pause and just being Trent. But this is who I am as a person in real life and it bled into my game. In real life I am a quiet person, I do not open up to people, I am a thinker and an analyzer. So yes I will agree that I could have done a much better job at opening up and just being real with people. 

Maybe it’s because I am a newbie, this is my first real survivor game, and I’m still relatively new at watching Survivor the show, but this is why I said I had a strong social game. Whether I had the wrong definition or was just looking at it from a different perspective, I'm not really sure, but I do hope this helps clears it up. 

But to answer your specific question: One example of my social game lacking was with Stoner. Maybe it was just on my side, but we just felt off. I should have done a better job at reaching out and making an attempt to get to know him.

As for my favorite moment of the game, it was by far making merge and jury. When starting this game, I had just finished BB Pokemon Galar and honestly that game kinda left a bitter taste in my mouth about orgs. I missed jury by one round due to a power, and just felt kinda over with playing orgs. Ali convinced me to do this season and I was afraid the first half of the season this would happen again. I’d get close to my goal of jury but then get out at the last second. So when I did actually make merge it was just a sense of relief that I played decently well up to that point.

[atomickrakatoa]

Episode 7 - “And I have no idea what a Willa is.” -Chips

Bryce

I guess Liana voted me? how odd. Colin voted Nicholas I presume but uh me and Quillynn lived which is all that matters tbh! Im happy that we get to live another round I was scared(pumpkin)

Colin, from the grave

fuck these hoes

QuilLynn

So.. I survived tribal! I'm super happy that we were able to get out Colin, as much as I love him as a person and would have wanted to work with him under different circumstances it was the only thing that made sense. Basically Bryce and I put ourselves in a position where we were the swing votes between Colin leaving and Nicholas leaving. Although there were benefits with both options, we knew that Colin would be harder to convince to also vote out Liana if we lose again, and we feel safer (for now) with Nicholas. At this point I feel great, I don't want to sound cocky, but I now just don't see either Bryce or I leaving before merge! 

Dana

Hello Dads and lovers! I don't have too much to say about the game, except the tea is that i'm ready af to merge. The fastest way to kill me is to make me go to tribal on this tribe. Chips hates me, Jay O knows about my friend group premade, and Kelsey is inact af. Zach and I want to convince Kelsey to vote with us, but umm basically i'm going to pressure him into playing some advantage. I'm going to make him king of paranoia and tbh it won't be hard. Also i'm an actual slut for letter # like i crave it. So thanks hosts!

Trixie

hi my tribe is gonna lose this challenge xx

**Malam loses immunity**

Bryce

We got 2nd in immunity thats iconic. but im afraid ppl will see me as a threat but like.... I had to score since quillynn and liana did nothing and nicholas wasnt on much.Im just happy we won and are one step closer to merging where i can try to meet back up with bryan!

Bryan

So me and trixie fought our hardest but we still weren’t able to win. EMPHASIS ON ME AND TRIXIE AND NOT OUR ACTUAL FUCKING TRIBE! THESE BITCHES DIDNT DO JACK SHIT! I was talking to trixie about it, how we are fighting the hardest when we aren’t even the ones at risk and they don’t even care. But the votes are probably going to be heading towards Willa.

Zach

WE WON IMMUNITY! WIG! I expect Trixie to use her idol that I provided her... my impact. I shouldn;t have, and I kind of regret it but I don't. It's weird. I want merge to come pleASEeee

QuilLynn

One step closer to merge! My team of icons won immunity again! Although, to be honest I didn't really try or participate, because I would rather us go to tribal again. We have the numbers on our tribe to vote out Liana and I want to do that before we get to merge and she just acts as Chips' double vote advantage. 

Trixie

My tribe loves going to tribal apparently! We’ve lost/come close to losing every single challenge that I’m praying to the furby gods for a mercy merge. 

Being a villain, naturally I have satan on my side. Although I had described zachary rae as being an angel, he’s more akin to a devil because he’s left me a gift that I don’t know what to do with yet. I feel like I have Bryan and Christian down to vote Willa. Willa, on the other hand, thinks we’re going to vote Christian and is “willing” to go to rocks, which is a big fat lie imo. I feel like he’s going to try and flip the heroes on me, and I’m hoping they won’t listen. After all, I do a lot more for my tribe than he does. 

I’m always worried something will happen, and I don’t wanna be that fool who plays the idol when unneeded, but I also don’t wanna be the bigger fool who goes out while holding one. help

Willa

I'm being voted off is this necessary 

Chips

Alright, so the challenge was the one where you get letters and then you make words from them. In general, I'm pretty decent at it... but also I never have any time online for that sort of challenge so I saw if I could sit out... and I did. http://imgur.com/dYxDGuG.gif And then I wasn't added to the chat or whatever so I was kinda in the dark about our team's score (which is odd, because I believe that in the show when they sit out they are still at the challenge) but I was hoping that we could be successful and not have tribal. Then the results were posted and our team was number one! So no tribal! And the marshmallow tribe is going to tribal... https://68.media.tumblr.com/744c19eadd3d19f73b4dfece4e0ae798/tumblr_olvj861Lu01u2ragso1_500.gif On that tribe are Bryan, Christian, Trixie, and Willa! Bryan I'd like to stay because I think he's most likely to work with me in a situation where we are reunited. Christian is here and there, but would likely stick with me as well. Trixie is basically QuilLynn so if she were to go it wouldn't be bad for me. And I have no idea what a Willa is.

Bryce

I hope Bryan plays his idol

Christian

I don't know why Willa doesn't like me, when I've never spoken to him or even played a game with him. Unless he friends with someone in the community that hates me lolol. I lowkey feel like he has an idol, and I'm gonna get idoled out. But I guess we will see. If I do go tonight, I'm not mad about it. It is what it is. But once confessionals are released, Willa feel free to tell me why you have it out for me. Ctfu 

Liana

I'm so glad we won because if we proved anything the last tribal, it's that this tribe is a mess.

Jay

I just got out of work ahhhhhhh!!!! Anyways im super happy my tribe pulled out a win because i did NOTHING in the last challenge. I've worked for the last 4 days so i was either at work or tired af during the challenge. Hopefully (!!!!) That changes and i can start pulling my weight.

**Willa is voted out, round 8 begins**

Bryan

Lol at Willa thinking we were going to rocks when in actuality he was going

Kelsey

The sitch is that once again; the foxy lady gets to stay~! I feel very grateful that I was able to stay out of tribal the last week. This streak of safety is sooooooo nice to rely on and now...we're heading into the top TWELVE of the competition! I can't say I ever saw myself making it to this stage of the game and gosh...merge can't be far away! At this point, I just want to break away from this sort of "tribe" game and I just want to get started on playing in the final traction of the competition! You know what? I DESERVE to make it to the end and, at the very least, I deserve to FIGHT for it. On this tribe, I do believe I've tightened my relationship with Dana as well as with Chips. And if I do have to vote someone off, I'm quite comfortable switching over with the villains to eliminate Jay as I trust him less than Zach. I just...I feel CONFIDENT! I feel so ready to keep going! I'm filled with excitement and I just wanna- I want to be in the heat of it again soon enough! I said this earlier, but they're going to have to rip and TEAR me away from the crown and I'm pumped to fight for it! Send home the next hooker already, I'm raring to go! And THAT'S all there is to it~! But who are you pointing at? -Kelsey V Mikaelson #TeamIBelieveInYall #TeamBEES #RIPColin #RIPWilla

Bryan

VL DR: YA BOY SLAYED THIS DAMN MAZE! "Hard AF maze" YEA RIGHT

**Malam loses immunity again**

Bryan

JKNFCDBEJLWBFCHJLBWEHJCLBHWJBC I GOT FIRST PLACE AND THEY BOTH GOT LAST!! THIS IS SOO DAMN FRUSTRATING!!! but i dont want to vote out Christian or trixie. Christian has been loyal to me. and trixie is so nice. i have my idol and i want to use it but i also dont. im afraid trixie might flip christian on me. and thats scary. 

Zach

kisses we safe xx kay now i'm expecting trixie to idol, considering i think bryan/christian are friends. whom will she vote? idk?

later...

I kind of feel really good on my tribe. I do want merge though cause I think it may get more interesting. It's kind of bitter sweet because A) It's SUPER boring tribal wise rn, but that's because of B) my ass ain't going to tribal - and i wanna keep it like that!

QuilLynn

We won immunity (well second place but w/e we’re safe!) that means we’ve probably made it to merge which I’m super excited about! We still have Liana, but her joining up with chips might make her and more importantly chips easy targets. I like them both but see 0% chance of us working together in this game at this point so they’ll definetly be the first people that i’ll be wanting to take a shot at. 

Bryan

Ok so. Christian thinks I’m voting trixie. And trixie thinks I’m voting Christian. Or there is this epic blindside coming. But I’m leaning more towards keeping trixie. I can def count on Christian to be a loyal goat but I know trixie has the skill to be able to make big moves with me.

Bryce

Um liana ditching last second was scary but we won so im happy. Malam keeps losing so its awk LOL. But im happy me and quil are safe with nicholas

Liana

Haha, Malam sucks. Enjoy tribal!

Christian

I'm pretty sure I'm gone tonight lol. There's not much to say, considering there's only three of us left on our tribe. Everything is just open I guess. 

Bryan

VL DR: Trixie is such a troll. I was wondering why she never goes on video chat. But i know now. She is one of the trolls from that shitty animated movie so called trolls. 

**Christian is voted out and round 9 begins!**

[samanthasroberts]

RuPaul Is Ready for His Legacy

With a new game show, Gay For Play, and more than 100 episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Mama Ru pauses for a moment of reflection: ‘I get to do whatever the f*** I want.’

“>

You dont question the motherfucking queen, bitch.

RuPaul Charles, at this point on a first-name basis with the world much like his fellow Unapologetic Bitch, Madonna, is nothing if not direct. 

The host of RuPauls Drag Racenot to mention drag icon, activist, actor, recording artist, spiritual leader to a horde of fabulous worshippers, and, thanks to a recent, provocative as it was profound real talk interview with Vulture, the newest dream candidate for presidentis on the phone the week after a rare and shocking elimination on his cult hit reality show. 

Asked to explain the atypical twist, RuPaul concluded his answer bluntly. Because the shows called RuPauls Motherfucking Drag Race, bitch. I get to do whatever the fuck I want.

Its an intimidating-bordering-on-terrifying reaction to a question, to be sure, were it not for the warm cackle he immediately delivers to diffuse any heart attacks. After all, the pulsing heart of nurturing compassion underwriting RuPauls unabashed realness is the driving force of his nickname, Mama Ru.

Besides, this is the RuPaul who, since the 1992 release of Supermodel (You Better Work) has become the face of drag, launched a long-running talk show, and became a spokesperson for MAC Cosmetics 20 freaking years ago, at a time when any conversation about drag going mainstream would have gotten you murdered with shade. 

To that end, RuPaul just celebrated the 100th episode of RuPauls Drag Race, now in the prime of its eighth popular-as-ever season, in an age when talent competitions are wheezing their last breaths. (So long, American Idol.)

So yes, to be fair, RuPaul can do whatever the fuck he wants.

(As Ru says on the show, You dont have to be gay to play. But it shore do help.)

More than that, as becomes increasingly clear over the course of our conversation, what RuPaul motherfucking wants is to make an impact, to leave a little something behind should he ever sashay away to the catwalk in the sky.

Hes passionate about it, too, as soberly earnest as he was playfully intimidating at the start of our talk. The fame, the money, all the stuff: after a whileIve been doing this 34 yearsits about the legacy work, he says.

Referencing the Drag Race contestants, he continues, The legacy lives through these girls. And the kids who love the show and who have learned so much about themselves and about the history of the bohemian through our show.

Make no mistake, Gay For Play is a very silly showloud and giggly and naughty and campy and, because of all those things, a whole lot of fun. But its also part of that legacy. Watch an episode and listen to the language, the proud way the celebrity contestants talk so very, well, gay.

Weve seen this language being tapped into by mainstream culture everywhere, RuPaul says.

He remembers when he first heard everyday people on the street saying, You go girl! and Hey, girlfriend! which has been taken straight from gay vernacular. It used to take about 10 years, he says, for the phrases to get to Betty and Joe Beer Can, the masses, but now because of social media the turnover is exponentially faster. 

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And so you have celebrities like Amber Rose and Ross Matthews being quizzed about Meryl Streep and Shonda Rhimes shows, with innuendos and entendres abound. There are hot, mostly naked male dancers everywhere. Michelle Visage, as always, reigns queen.

In many ways, RuPaul expects the appeal of Gay For Play to mirror what has become one of the more powerful hooks of RuPauls Drag Race. Again, its that vernacular. Its that language.

We encrypt Drag Race with the secret language that kept gay people linked for many years before the 80s, he says. Gay people had to be secretive. There was a certain way, a certain vernacular, a certain approach to pop culture that we maintained. We lost that in recent years, but we encrypt our shows with that secret language of our gay brothers and sisters past.

And for all of the shade, reads, and spilled tea that defines any stellar season of RuPauls Drag Race, the show and Gay For Play share another crucial elementagain, one that sets it apart from other talent competitions and game shows that populate TV.

Theres a palpable sense of fun that radiates from it. These people are enjoying themselves. In some ways, they feel free. The word that Ru uses: Joy.

Whats happening is that these kids are outsiders, and theyre coming together with other outsiders on this show, he says, speaking specifically about Drag Race.

Earlier in our conversation, he talks about the show being, at its core, about the tenacity of the human spirit, which is something that connects not just the contestants, but the fans who obsessively watch it as well. Especially those who feel disenfranchised from society, he says. Like, wow, here is my tribe.

He again brings up the secret code, the shared vernacular and shared spirit. Its why Judy Garland and Joan Crawford speak to us so much, he says. Theres a certain desperate, dark, painful element to these people that we can relate to. And in spite of that, they have overcome it and become glamorous, joyous, beautiful fun-loving people.

He pauses again, breaking a rule of his not to think about the past and reflect. Always think forward is a rule of his, as is not to have any expectations, a lesson learned the hard way in three decades of show business.

And certainly, theres no way he could have expected to launch the careers of 100 drag queens, or a fanbase that debates every lip sync, drag look, and challenge performance with rabid sinceritysome becoming encyclopedic scholars of the shows history. (Not to mention who worship the show even if theyre given a disappointing Snatch Game episode.) 

Its the tribe, RuPaul says, that theyre all connecting to, whether they realize that or not.

These are boys who were ostracized from everyone in the community and against all odds they were like, Fuck it Im going to do this anyway, he says. They made all the way to RuPauls Fucking Drag Race and here they are. Its so fucking awesome, I love it.

On Monday night, the night that Gay For Play premieres, RuPaul will host the 107th episode of RuPauls Drag Race. And, for the 107th time, at least on Logo, he will preach his famous affirmation to end the episode: If you cant love yourself how the hell are you going to love somebody else? Can I get an amen?

RuPaul has been saying that at every performance, not just on Drag Race, for 30 years, along with two other phrases he refers to as his doctrine: Everybody say, Love! and You were born naked and the rest is drag.

What is it like after all this time34 years and 107 episodesto say those words? Does he still feel them? Does the message change?

The truth is that I say that every single time not for the audience, he says. I say it to remind myself.

Again, he reflects. This time, back to when he was 14, maybe 15.

I was going through such a hard time thinking, Im becoming a young adult, how am I going to manage this fucking mediocre hypocritical world? Well, Ru, the only way I can do this is to make a pact to never drink the Kool-Aid, to never join the matrix.

Then RuPaul starts invoking the film InceptionI know, I was surprised, too.

Specifically, he references the totems that the characters in the film set to remind themselves that theyre in a dream. Ru has his totems, too. Theyre those three phrases. His doctrine.

Youre born naked and the rest is drag: Dont believe the hype, dont believe what it tells you on your drivers license. You are an extension of the power that created this whole universe. Dont forget it, and dont take any of this bullshit too seriously, because its hypocritical and mediocre at best.

The love yourself mantra, he says, is to remind you that it comes from the inside out.

The meaning behind Everybody say, Love! after our conversation, becomes more essential.

This is RuPaul, who began our interview with suchhow should I sayverve. Whose interview with Vulture clapped back at (and for good reason): Ellen Degeneres, David Letterman, the mainstream, the Emmys, Lip Sync Battle, the relationship between the drag and trans communities, educating youths, political correctness, and the wigs in The Danish Girl.

Everybody say love, indeed.

Its a neutralizing mantra to say to everybody, I come in peace, he says. I come in peace. Thats why its important.

Can I get an amen?

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/10/11/rupaul-is-ready-for-his-legacy/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/10/11/rupaul-is-ready-for-his-legacy/