#all i've been thinking about for months now so. here. johnny's pov or something

[wkomd]

Oh, help me, darling. Help me, please..

[cloudyeventss]

141 x assistant reader part four

Warnings: crude sexual language, mentions of death

Y/N POV

I've been sitting on the floor of my office for hours going through the teams’ old reports and organizing them. I've been here almost a month and Captain Price is just now giving me work to do. I honestly think it's to get me out of his hair, so I'd stop asking if he needed help with anything. Hell, I spent the first two weeks doing nothing but making coffee/tea and bringing lunch to the boys. At first, I didn't mind, I get paid well to basically sit around all day, but I quickly got bored and would sit in Prices office until he'd either send me away or give me something to do. My knees are starting to rub raw irritated by the coarse carpet. I place the file I'm holding back on the ground and let down my hair. 

*Knock knock*

        "Come in" 

"Workin hard, y/n" 

Stg. Garrick comes walking in and takes a seat in my chair, fiddling with a rubber band he took off my desk. I like Gaz, he and soap have been my only friends here. They have been welcoming from the start, Price ignores me as much as he can. And the lieutenant doesn't speak to me at all. The man is reserved, I've only heard him speak a few times and it was always straight to the point. Sometimes I can feel him staring at me, but I'll be damned if I let him know he intimidates me. Giving Gaz a smile I respond. "Hardly working, Gaz"

He flicks the rubber band at me. “Good, then you can come to the pub with us" he says chuckling.  

   "Ok rude." I grabbed the rubber band off the floor and flick it at his forehead. "I can't I still have a lot to do" 

     "Come on, don’t be daft, you're gonna leave me to suffer Johnny’s rubbish jokes on my own?"

When I don't respond right away, he adds "ya know we leavin in the morning"

  Fuckk, he's right. The team leaves early morning for another mission. I should go.

           "Fine, but you're buying"

Prices POV

The wind is harsh against my back, cold air sending goosebumps up my skin. We're all cold, the team has been hiking for hours up the mountain. The crunching of our boots sets my teeth on edge. We're on a search & destroy mission for a high value target. Laswell, gain intel the man we've been searching for Arkadi is hiding out in Orda cave (Ординская, Ordinskaya) . He's vile scum. Selling women and children in trade of military grade weapons he's planning something and we're here to shut it down. I can sense death in the air. It'd going to take someone but not my men. We're about 100s yards of the cave. We know there's only ten of Arkadi men here with him all heavily armed. Three stand out front guarding the perimeter. We have to do a soft entry; the team can't afford them being made aware of our presence just yet. Simon, Gaz, and I go in from behind. Using our Ka-Bars to take out the men outside. Icy, clean, cold precision. My knife goes in like butter and comes out with little resistance from the muscles. With the guards down it's Johnny's turn to breech. I pull down my gas mask as soap throws in a smoke bomb screams and scattering from inside can be heard. This is it...

.....

The team did excellent work, taking out all threats and luckily no casualties. That's a rare case in this line of work. At one point, I lost my M16, Arkadi took the opportunity to run at me. He threw me back, hitting the floor, I took him down with me, getting him into a chokehold before snapping his neck. I can finally breathe again, I take a seat and light my cigar, throwing my head back, I close my eyes. Thinking of y/n, what is she doing right now? Last night, she showed up to the pub with Gaz and Soap wearing a red low-cut top and tight black pants. The sight of her had my cock straining my jeans. Fuck thinking about her now has me readjusting myself. But ghosts voice snaps me out of the memory. "Cap, there's nothin here" Before I could respond my ears started ringing , debris flies everywhere, and my side is burning. Everything is blurry. The sound of gunfire makes the ringing in my ears louder, and then everything goes black.

[merge-conflict]

Since you asked twice: 4, 61, & 66 for the fic writer asks :>

Heheh :3 (questions here)

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

I ask myself questions. The scope and number of questions depends on the idea. Am I looking to complete a next scene? Why don't I know what the character will do next? Do they need to make a decision, or does something need to motivation to move past an obstacle? Is their struggle internal or external at this moment? Are they at full capacity or are they tired or hurt and more likely to mess up or do something impulsive?

For fic ideas it's just that but broader. Usually I get a snippet of a scene or inspiration from some outside source- either my own life or some other story. Maybe I just think that two characters should meet, or be put in a situation where they have to fight. Maybe Johnny should punch Valentine in the face. Then I just work backwards from there- what kind of pressure would cause them to be angry at each other? If they have an argument can it be exacerbated by some vulnerability or just because they're having a bad day? Because something else happened and now they're on a hair trigger? What would cause them to fight instead of just walk away? And then just sort of reverse engineering the situation from there. It fails a fair amount of the time, but asking the questions themselves helps flesh things out to make it easier to work out ideas for those characters or any characters, so there's never anything lost through brainstorming.

Also honestly sometimes when I can't think of anything or I'm frustrated and want to vent or cry about it... I'll give myself a weird objective. Try a new POV. Keep it a certain length. Change tense. Write about someone without ever saying their name. It also doesn't always work, but concentrating on some new kind of goal often gets me out of the pit I've been languishing in even when it fails.

61. Why do you continue writing fics?

I love doing it, and also I can't really control my brain when it comes up with stories. So they're going to be in my head anyway, and writing them down helps me develop them and enjoy them even more. Obviously I do love and enjoy the community part of writing fanfiction, and getting feedback and engagement. (Love it. Crave it. Don't we all?) But ultimately I just love doing character studies, and constructing scenes and making things. Sometimes I "write" for hours and get very little done but I really enjoy that time, and if that ever changed I wouldn't do it.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

I don't think any of those things worry me too much. I do feel bad for not updating regularly sometimes but I hardly do anything regularly. I could keep a habit for 3 months and drop it in 2 days for something new. If I don't like something I'm hitting the bricks. Honestly the biggest struggle I have is that period of time just before and just after sharing a story- it's like as soon as I hit post my self-confidence dives, and by that time I've usually reviewed my own writing so many times that it just looks like garbage. Similar to saying a word over and over until it becomes meaningless and annoying? It's kind of the worst. So far the only solution I've found is to leverage my adhd and distract myself until I'm out of the danger zone. I've also found the more I do it the easier it gets, like exposure therapy. The anxiety poison damage from posting gets a little less now that I know "How It Works (tm)".

I do often get stuck on something (a scene, etc.) but my writing process is really messy and so I will leverage having multiple projects and just sort of tool around through them until I find something I can make progress on. If I have motivation I have to follow it or I'll never do anything so just going with the flow and not getting too hung up on doing things In Order or finishing my writing veggies before my writing dessert. Having little to no executive function means that there are some things that I can't do without spending extra spoons and I'm alright with some comfortable chaos.

[johnathanthegaynerd69]

lifestopper chap 2) i have befriended the guy with the cool glasses

authors note: this chapter is scars pov of the first day and also a lil something to fill the time skip. also my shitpost about HG GOT 200 LIKES OR SOME SHIT. THAT SHIT TOOK ME FIVE MINUTES. but anyway enjoy chap 2

today's the first day of school, honestly it's a big change, but an exciting one. Right now im sitting in the office wait for the guy who's supposed to show me around, fidgeting with keys. Sir walks back in and behind him is a this grian guy, he's short with brown hair and glasses, i like his glasses. His jumper's a little big on him and i notice he has a few badges pinned to it, one says "student council" in offical gold lettering and the other is just a rainbow.

i give a small wave, "hi". "hi" he responds, "right grian you can sit down for a moment" sir intructs. Grian sits down beside me on the plastic chairs. "Now i just wanted to make sure you boys are on the same page, Grian keep an eye on Scar, help him find his classes, show him around, you know the drill. And scar if you need anything at all you can come straight to me, ok?". We both nod. "right well I've already put in that you'll miss the first class because you'll be touring the place, you're free to go boys" "thank you sir" i respond as I gather my stuff and head towards the door, grian follows.

And thats it, that's how we met and became friends in the first place, i still think about it, what, six months later. The way he blushed a little the first time he saw me, the way he stuttered. But a blush and a stutter dont mean anything, do they? Do i want them to mean something? Should i want them to mean something?

Anyway, all blushes and stutters aside me and g are firmly best friends now, I've never been so close with someone and it's oddly comforting. I want to be with him all the time.

chap 2! incase it wasn't clear the au begins in late august and we've skipped forward to late february (now) and it seems like scar is starting to feel the love.... this was once again so fun to write, im gonna sleep now- johnny out

link to part 1

link to moreee

[jaehyunsuh]

trust

—pairing: idol! Taeyong x reader

—genre: au/ fluff/ boyfriend! Taeyong

—words count: + 1k

summary: for a long time you have felt pretty lonely and sad, yes you have friends and stuff but they always are making comments that make you feel upset or uncomfortable and sometimes they don't even seem to care about what you think or say. In university some people are really nice but the majority just use you since you are so kind to everyone, you don't want to change your personality since you know it's better to help people and be nice rather then treat them like sh*t. You just need a friend, someone you can trust and tell your problems to, hopefully you will find it soon. You could talk to your boyfriend Taeyong but he is already so stressed with his idol life, that is enough to him.

today you were able to get out early from your job so you decide to walk home, so like that you can explore the city, look at the the people, breathe fresh air and clear your mind a bit. You usually take a taxi or something because you are tired but it's 4pm and the weather it's nice so it seems like a good day to go for a walk.

lately you have felt pretty lonely, people lately hasn't been the best to you lately, since you are so smart and offer to help people when you say no they start telling you mean stuff and are so stupid, you really don't mind about people's comments or anything but having no one to talk to makes you overthink stuff, by luck you distract yourself cooking, painting and working so like that it doesn't affect your mental health.

Taeyong is the best boyfriend you could ask for but you are used to be the one who gives him advices and makes him feel better since he is constantly under stress, so you decide not to overwhelming with your problems and keep them to yourself.

you walk past a buddhist temple you have seen before but never were curious of walking, you have never been really religious or anything but  today you felt like visiting it, those structures were big, beautiful and amazing, it truly left you impressed. You walk and see some tourists looking outside the place, you are able to see the inside if you are quiet and respectful, so you decide to climb the stairs. You see a boy bowing at the giant Buda figure inside the temple, it was really beautiful and breathtaking, he gets up and walks to the entrance were you are standing. 

"Uhm excuse me." You say reaching to the boy. He looks at you scared and kind flinches. You looked at him confused.

"I'm really curious about this religion and i have never knew anything about it, so would you mind to tell me a little bit about this?." The boy's body relax a little bit looks at you up and down 

"My name is y/n by the way." You extent his hand to him and he shakes it. 

"I'm Daniel." He gives a sweet smile. He tells you to see somewhere around the temple so he can talk better to you.

"Well i don't really consider myself religious but buddhism sees life as a process of constant change, and its practices aim to take advantage of that. It means that one can change for the better."

"Wow, that's really beautiful." You say impressed.

"Yes, it's good! Also they practise meditation, which is a way of developing more positive states of mind that are characterised by calm, concentration, awareness, and emotions. Using the awareness developed in meditation it is possible to have a fuller understanding of oneself, other people, and of life itself." He explains.

"It really sound fascinating, how did you get into it?" You never knew there was a religion that teach such necessary and important things like those.

"Well my parents are buddhists so I've been into it since i was young. Like i said i was never really into it but since I'm 18 I've always need something to keep me mentally stable and help me relax so i started coming here often." He gives a kind smile.

"That's really cool, I'm glad you found something that gives you peace, that's really what i need right now." You sigh.

"Well if you are not into religion you can do yoga, start meditating by yourself or you can talk to me!" He suddenly changes and starts being more open and friendly.

"Thank you, you are so nice. I think ill take all three." You laugh.

you continue to talk about your stuff and you tell him all the things that you have been feeling lately, he gave you some advices here and there about how to distract yourself from those negative thoughts and move on from this toxic people. You feel so thankful that this total stranger it's actually listening to you and being interested in what you have to say. You talked about college, your job, the music you're into and how you how much you love painting and cooking.

"Well, thank you so much for telling me about this, i found it pretty interesting."

you decided to exchange numbers and talk with each other, he said that every time he could go to the buddhist temple he will meet you outside and talk to you and maybe go and eat something. You have been seeing each other for around one month now and it has really helped your mental state, he teach you some breathing excercises that helped your anxiety and tried to meet a couple timed at week to do yoga.

Taeyong's POV

y/n has been kinda weird lately, she doesn't talks or says any important stuff to him anymore, she just talks about college stuff and the netflix show she is watching, also she goes out almost everyday and comes back later at afternoon, so it is making him Taeyong worried if she is seeing someone else. He doesn't want to sound mean or anything but he knows y/n doesn't has friends anymore, just the ones back in her country, but here in Seoul many people has been fake, treat her bad and been fake because she is dating and idol. He tries not to overthink and keep trusting his girlfriend.

"Hey Tae, we need to talk to you." Johnny says.

"Okay?"

"Hyung, y/n has been kinda weird lately she doesn't even wants to talk to us that much." Jaehyun sits down in the couch.

"We all talked and we wanted to tlwt you know that our friends and their friends have seen y/n hanging around with some guy." Taeil says. Taeyong looks shocked and like it's about to cry.

"We didn't believe it until Mark told us what he saw today." Taeil continues.

"What did you saw?" Taeyong takes a deep breath and close his eyes.

"I was walking around the Han River and i saw them sitting around there." Mark says upset. Taeyong close his hands frustrated.

"But look, we aren't saying she is cheating, maybe it's her collage partner or something." Jaehyun says trying to make his friend happy.

"Yes, and when i saw them they weren't holding hands and not even were so close to each other."

"Bro, she loves you and instead of thinking about breaking up ask her if there is something else making her distracted." Yuta pats his friends back. 

Taeyong grabs his jacket and makes his way to y/n's apartment, he calls 3 times and she doesn't picks up which makes him worried since he is thinking about all the things that member said.

Y/n's POV

you are in the living room watching some tv when you hear Taeyong open the door.

"Y/n we need to talk." He looks like he was crying and you wonder what happened to him.

"Yes, what happened babe?." 

"Y/n, you don't love me anymore? Are you cheating on me?" He ask straight up.

"No, Taeyong, what the hell? How could i ever cheat on you. You are the person i love the most." You say slightly frustrated.

"Some people are talking about you hanging out with another guy and even Mark saw you with him the other day, and the fact that you have been so quiet and don't even talk to me that much anymore, so i think I'm convinced it may be truth." He sits down and takes a deep breath trying not to look at you. Your heart breaks at seeing him like this, you know the truth and if you tell him he is gonna still feel upset.

"Taeyong listen to me, this guy is a buddhist, a met him the other day when i walked around the temple, he explained me that it helps you relax and control your emotions, i told him that i was going through a tought time and he decide to help me. He teach me how to meditate, breathing exercises and we do yoga almost every afternoon. It has helped me a lot with my stress. And that's it, he is just a friend, there is not any other relationship between us and if you want to talk to him or something I'm sire you would be more convinced." You say while holding his hands.

"And why didn't you told me about this?" He looks at you sad.

"I love you more than anything else in the world, you known i can help you and that you can talk to me about anything." He looks at you.

"Tae i know, but I'm always the strong one that is comforting you, making you feel okay and helping you. I know you have been through a lot lately and i didn't wanted to bother you with my problems while you have your owns. I'm sorry." You look at the the floor disappointed at yourself.

he grabs your lower back and pulls you into a kiss. You feel safe and peaceful again in between his arms and lips. He kisses you softly making your feel better than before and taking all your worries away. 

"You can always trust me, okay?" Taeyong kisses your forehead.

"From now on, let's promise to trust each other anytime, and talk about every single thing that is bothering us. We are stronger together."

"I love you." You hug him.

"I love you too." He leaves another kiss on your forehead.

[playboypony]

High As A Kite - Chapter Two

Johnny’s POV

Pony and I are eating our hamburgers while Darry, Soda, and Steve talk. Two-bit didn't come and Dal isn't around.

I wonder where Dal is.

"Pony, Johnny, are you two okay?" Soda asks. I feel a little sick, "You two don't look so hot."

Ponyboy shakes his head and runs to the bathroom. I stay at the table so I can eat the rest of my hamburger, it's so good.

"Johnny?" I look at Darry, "Are you good?"

"Yeah, I just need to eat," I say. I finish up my hamburger and I start on my french fries.

I want more beer...I drink every week and I seriously like getting drunk- oh no, am I saying this out loud?

"Yes," Darry is shocked.

I don't say anything. All I do is eat french fries and drink cherry cola. Dal walks into Dairy Queen and sits down beside me. He starts smoking.

"Johnny, man, have you been drinking?" I nod, "I told you not to drink anymore."

"Hey, you drink all the time," I point out, "Why can't I drink? By the way," I take a sip of my cherry cola, "It's my birthday, I have every right to celebrate."

"I know it's your birthday, man, but you're drinking for the wrong reasons," Dally tells me. I get up and walk out of the restaurant.

I'm not taking crap from Dal. No, not today. Not on my birthday! I should be happy, I should celebrate the way I want to celebrate. I don't care if the others say I can't drink.

I run to a nearby tree and I fall to the ground. I'm very dizzy and nauseous. I start puking my guts out. I'm crying while I puke. This isn't a good combination.

"Johnny?" I hear my name. I finish puking my guts out, "Can we talk?" I know it's Darry. I scoot back so I can lean on the tree, "Please?" He bends down so we can be eye to eye.

"Leave me alone," I say before I start sobbing.

Darry sits down beside me. He says nothing while I cry. Why am I crying now? I have no idea. I've been through a lot in the last couple months and I guess crying is the only thing I can do right now.

"I know losing your parents is a big deal," Darry tells me, "I understand how you feel. Pony, Soda, and I miss our parents a lot. For a year now, I've been their guardian. It's hard." I lean on him, "It's hard on them too."

"I-I don't know why I miss them," I say, "They've treated me like crap."

"You're holding onto the good memories," Darry points out, "You've been living at our house for two months now, and you've been telling us stories when you were a kid." I nod, "Johnny, that's good and everything, but eventually, you should let go," he wraps an arm around me, "Pony, Soda, and I aren't grieving no more about our parents. Soon, you will stop grieving too."

"Darry, I'm sorry," I say, "I didn't mean to get Pony in trouble-"

"Don't worry about that right now," he tells me, "Why are you drinking every week?"

I don't answer.

"Johnny?" Darry is getting impatient.

"I thought alcohol calms the nerves. I've been so stressed and sad, I need something to help me," I tell him. Ponyboy comes out here, he sits beside us, "Pony knows all that."

"Think about this, kiddo," Darry starts, "Who's been drinking for the same reason?"

"M-My Dad?" I ask.

"Yes, and what did he do to you and your mom?" Darry asks.

"Verbally and p-physically abused us," I start sobbing loudly again, "Oh god!"

"Do you want to turn out that way?"

"No!" I shout. I hug Pony and start sobbing into him, "No, no," I shake my head. Pony is holding me tightly.

"There might be other reasons, Johnny, but Dal is right. You're drinking for the wrong reasons and you need to stop. Pony, why were you drinking?" Darry asks.

"Celebrate," is all he said.

All of us don't talk for a while. The only sound that is disturbing our silence is me crying loudly. I never broke down in front of Darry before. I only broke down in front of Pony and Dal.

"Do you guys want to go home?" Darry asks.

"Yes," Pony and I say at the same time.

Darry walks off so he can talk to the others. I look at Pony and ask, "Are we in trouble?"

"Don't worry about getting in trouble, Johnnycakes. Let's just head home," Pony tells me. Darry walks out of Dairy Queen with the rest of the gang. Pony and I are still on the ground when they come over to us.

"Get up," Darry orders and we obey, "We're heading back to the house," Dal, Steve, and Steve nod, "You guys have fun at Bucks," they walk off. Pony and I look at Darry, "Buck has a party. Let's go."

——

We get to the Curtis house. Darry tells us, "I am going to Bucks. You two better go to bed. Lay on your sides."

"You go to parties now?" Pony asks.

"Soda and Steve wants me to go," Darry tells us, "I've been saying no to them for a while now. I thought it was time for me to say yes."

Pony and I nod. We get out of the car and watch Darry drive off.

"I'm tired," Pony says, "Lets go to bed."

We walk into the house. I pause for a minute and look at the fridge. I walk into the kitchen so I can get a beer.

"Johnny!" Pony gets my attention, "Please don't." He walks into the kitchen and grabs my arm. He drags me up the stairs and to our room.

Pony and I share a room while Soda sleeps on the couch. I feel bad for Soda, but Darry and Soda said it's fine.

"Here," Pony grabs my pajamas. I usually sleep in clothes while Pony only sleeps in his underwear. But tonight, Pony is going to sleep in his clothes. He's already on the bed dozing off. I turn around and change.

I lay down beside Pony. He's already asleep. I know I can't fall asleep. All I want to do is cry.

So that's what I do.

I close my eyes and let the tears pour down my face. I try to be quiet, but I woke Ponyboy up. He sits up and looks at me, "Do you want to talk?"

"You already know what I'm crying about. Darry basically told me I will turn out like my father if I keep this up," I sit up, "What should I do?"

"Stop drinking and..." Pony looks away.

"And what?" I ask.

"It's been two months, Johnnycakes," Pony tells me, "No offense, but I think you should let go. They've treated you poorly," I look away, "Why should you grieve for the people who were your worst enemies?"

"It's the way they died, man," I admit. I never told him what happened to my parents. Only Darry knows because he was the only one at the Curtis house when everything happened, "My Dad fired a man at work. The man knew my mom because his girlfriend worked with her. When my parents got home, they got into an argument like usual," I look at Pony, "The guy and his girl came to the house and shot them. After that, they shot themselves."

"Oh my god," Pony is shocked.

"You were at a track meet and I had to walk home alone. No one was at your house except Darry. He called the cops because he was the one who heard the gun shots. He was the one saw the four dead bodies first. When I came home, cop cars were parked. I also saw an ambulance. Darry was standing in the front lawn of his house. He told me everything and I broke down."

"I'm so sorry."

"Pony, I saw them. I saw their dead bodies," I say, "I'll never forget that. I'm grieving because of they way they died! I'm not grieving because I miss them."

I lay down and cry into my pillow. Pony lays down too, I can feel it. I thought he was going to fall back to sleep, but he surprises me.

"It's okay, Johnnycakes," Pony wraps his arm around me, "You're going to be okay."

I smile when Ponyboy holds me tight. Eventually I stop crying, "Goodnight, Pony," I whisper. I want to kiss him, but what happens if he wakes up?

"Goodnight," He whispers back before I doze off.

[gamegrumpiess]

Sleepwalk

I was listening to Sleepwalk by Renee Olstead, and I had this idea.

Grump: Danny (from now on, most will be Danny. Unless you request someone else, which I will be happy to do!)

Btw! I'm this plot, Renee didn't write the lyrics. You did! She isn't even a singer in this universe. Just a heads up.

-

Y/n's POV

I can't sleep tonight. It's been a month since me and Danny broke up, but I can't help but still mourn our relationship. It was mutual, at least that's what he thinks. I would've never called it off. I was so in love with him. I still am. We told the fans, and they were pretty supportive in what we did. A lot of them were really sad, as was I. Danny is a singer just like me. I do silly songs just like him. But he encouraged me to do a cover album or a cover song. I did one album, Cover Me Up was the name. It got a lot of love, which I am very proud of.

I turn on my phone to check the time. 4:23 am. The bold numbers shine at me in front of Danny's face. I couldn't bring it to myself to change my screensaver. It's not like anyone's gonna see. I miss him a lot, every night gets harder than the last. He was my world. I've known him since senior year of high school, he was a huge part of my life. And now... That's no more. He's probably living his best life. Being Danny Sexbang and all. He probably has girls flying at his feet, throwing him their panties and offering 'the night of his life'. I understand I might be over thinking, but I can't help it. He was mine, and now he's out there doing who knows what. I let a few stray tears fall down ontou pillow. It's so lonely here at night now. I love what I do, singing, dancing, having fun. It was just so much more amazing when I had someone to share it with.

I lay my head back a stare at the ceiling. I need to distract myself, so I reach for my headphones and plug them in, looking for my Oldies playlist. I click on it and the song that comes on is Sleepwalk by Santo and Johnny. Listening to the slow beat and light guitar, I cry even more. Just my luck, huh? I can't just lay here, I really should get up and something. Writing usually helps me calm down. That's when I get an idea for a song, it's a bit sad and people will know exactly who its about. But maybe that's what needs to happen. My feelings should be out there. And if something goes wrong, I'll accept the outcomes.

I pull up my pen and notebook and just start writing.

"Sleepwalk, instead of dreamin' I

Sleepwalk.

Cause' I lost you and now, what am I to do?

Can't believe that we're through.

Sleep talk. Cause' I miss you, I sleep talk.

While the memories of you wither like a soul.

Darling I was so low.

The night fills me with blame. I see your face, tears through my brain.

I know I miss you so. I still love you, drives me insane.

Sleepwalk. Every night I just sleepwalk. Please come back, and when you walk inside the door, I will sleepwalk no more."

I immediately went to my computer set up and staring out my own little version of Sleepwalk. More of like a piano and violin cover, rather than guitar and drum. Once I had it to where I wanted the beat and rhythm, I pulled up my microphone and started singing away.

Danny's POV

This morning was the worst. I couldn't sleep at all, I've been up since 3:30 am. I guess I haven't really gotten used to sleeping by myself. Without y/n's body near mine, it's hard to even get tired. I do miss her. A lot actually. I know it was my idea to call off the relationship, but I was scared of what would happen if I didn't have enough time for her. I have game grumps, starbomb, and ninja sex party. She deserves someone who has all the time in the world to give her all the attention she deserves. When we told the fans, I didn't expect them to be so sad. I even lost a handful of fans because of it. She agreed, but I knew her better. She was on the verge of tears when she left. She was trying to be strong so I wouldn't see that side of her, but I know better than that. When she left I broke down. Gripped and clawed at my hair, cried on the edge of the bed, wondering if I had made the right choice. I big-huge part of me was telling myself I didn't.

My phone buzzes, and I see its a text from Arin.

When you get here I need to show you something.

Oh what fresh hell does he have to subject my eyes to. Last time he said that, I had to watch 12 Days Of Elves... Don't ask.

I finally arrived at the Grump Space. I see everyone in their usual area. Ryan and Matt at the computers, Ross and Barry in the kitchen making coffee, and the only other people here this early is Arin and me. Everyone else usually is a little late. "Thank god you're finally here. You haven't felt your phone buzzing?" I give him a confused look. "Other than you texting me, no. You know I have notifications turned off for my social media. What's going on?" He turns on the computer in front of us. "You should hear this before anything. I promise you, it's important." I roll my eyes. "This better not be some stupid shit, Arin!" I say with a light laugh. He shook his head, and I knew from the look in his eyes that this was in fact important.

Once the computer was fully on, he went to YouTube. Looking up y/n's name, I felt my stomach turn. Did she have a new boyfriend? Was she sick? Did she die?! I understand that last one is a bit of a long shot, but I tend to over think a lot.

A video was uploaded at 7:00 am this morning? "' sleepwalk? ' isn't that an old song?" I say confused. But I'm not all that surprised. She always did love the oldies. He nods his head. "She added her own lyrics and tune to it. And I think you should hear it." I nodded and put on some earphones, pushing play on the video. Her voices comes on, and it feels so amazing to hear her voice again. Even if it is just an intro in a YouTube video.

"Hello everyone. I had this idea for a song at like 3 in the morning. I couldn't sleep, so I made this. I hope you like it..."

The video fades to black and then it shows her at her little office space she has in her room. The music starts up, and at this point I notice her eyes. They're a little red and slightly puffy. She did a good job covering it up, but I've known her since senior year. She can't hide that from me.

She sings softly yet with so much passion and emotion. The lyrics sink in, and I know why Arin wanted to hear this. Its about me. I scroll down to look at the description and comments, and they all say things along the lines of 'I fucken sad now.' 'Wow, Danny really did a number on her' 'DANNY YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS SHIT!' 'This makes me so sad because she literally couldn't sleep thinking about him... Danny get your girl back!' 'Damn that made me tear up... '

After the video ended, I look at my phone. Y/n's face still smiles at me from behind the screen. I didn't want to change it, I couldn't do it. I felt several tears hit my leg, I didn't even realize i was crying. "Hey Dan, are you okay?" Arin puts his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "No... I'm not at all." I open up Twitter and see thousands of notifications to nsp and game grumps. All of which telling me to see what I just saw. I stood up slowly, feeling a little disappointed in myself. How could I let her walk out of my life so easily...?

Y/n's POV

After I posted the video, I decided I should really try to get some sleep. Especially since thousands of people will blow up my phone later on. Once in bed again, I tried to think of all the possibilities and outcomes of this. It could either go really well, or go really horribly bad. I guess we'll just have to see.

I wake up several hours later to my phone ringing. The sky is still a little bright to I assume it's not that late. 'Suzy <3' shines up at me. I smile, me and her always stayed quite close. "Hello?" I try to run the sleep out of my eyes. "Hey, are feeling okay? I heard your song, and I know it's about Dan. How are you, hun?"

It means a lot that she's not just calling about GET HIM BACK! She just wants to know if I'm okay. "Honestly? I feel so empty. Luckily today is just a lazy day so I don't have to adult today. But still.... I feel lost." I hear her sigh, "I know, y/n. It sucks. But you have me! And I'm way better than Danny!" She says jokingly. "Damn right you are! I'll call you a bit later when I'm more awake, okay?" We say our goodbyes and I sit up more in bed. I take a quick look at my notification bar and just as I expected, its blowin up. 'When will I stop being a pussy?' My thoughts we're interrupted by several rings of my doorbell.

Without looking through the peephole I open the door, only to see a certain curly haired man standing on my doorstep. "Danny? What are you doing here?" His eyes are glazed over and puffy as if he had just finished crying. He looked down. "I.... I heard your song. Was it... Was it about me? I'm sorry, I just need to know. I couldn't focus at all today during work. And on my way home, I just couldn't take it anymore. I have to know." My anxiety goes up a long shot. My eyes looking at everyone but him. "Y/n... I need to know." I slowly nod my head, still avoiding his eyes. "May I come in? I think we should talk.." I scoot to the side to let him in. "I'm sorry if I caused a lot of drama. I just thought... It would be better if I just made it into a song rather than.. Just telling you." I confessed. He grabbed my shoulders. "Don't be sorry, y/n. When we broke up, and you left. I broke down. I couldn't handle the fact that I just let you go.. I'm sorry."

"Then why did you do it? Why wait so fucking long to come to my house?! Why hurt me this bad, leaving me all alone when all I wanted was you! I hated knowing that YOU let me just walk out. And you looked like you... Like you didn't even give a shit..." I couldn't help it. I let all my emotions explode on him. "Why do you think I did?! Y/n, you deserve someone who has the time for you, who will give you all the attention in the world. Someone who will GIVE you the world! I want nothing more than to have you back again, but you don't deserve someone like me! I love with all my soul, hell, I'd give up everything for your dumbass! I didn't say anything till now because I thought you'd be mad, and I thought you'd moved on, hated me even!" He was standing pretty close to me by now. "Well no shit I'd be mad! You think I don't deserve you? Bullshit! You've already given me the world and more! Don't think that I don't understand about your job because I do the same fucking thing!!! I know it's hard, but I was willing to work even harder because I love you more than life itself! I deserve you just like you deserve me!" He rolled his eyes. "You're fucking gorgeous! You can have any man you want! What the hell is so special about me?" I got in his face once again, "because you are so much better than any other man I've met! We've known each other for YEARS and you think I'd just give all that up?! What kinda drugs are you on, Dan? Do you think I'm that fucken dumb? I haven't slept in weeks because it feels so horrible not having you next to me. That's some bullshit to say that I can have any man I want. I want YOU, dipshit!" I couldn't help it, I fell to my knees, shaking from trying to hold back tears. How he say that I didn't deserve him? He was my world, he still is my world. Nothing will change that.

He walks to me, and sits on the floor with me. I feel his arms wrap around me, and I lean into his chest. "I'm sorry.. I loved you more than anything. I still do. Can you please give me another chance..? Now, I won't ever think you don't deserve me. I won't think anything like that. You mean the world to me, y/n. Please don't forget that." I look up at him, seeing his eyes filled with new tears. "Well duh, how can i say no to this face?" I grab his cheeks and smush them together and laugh. "I love you too, Danny." He smiled and leaned in and gave me a much needed kiss.