#all i will have left is a final on the 15th which is gonna be ez

[mishkakagehishka]

And i really did decide yeah i'll take an exam on tuesday, another on wednesday, and another on friday and then another next tuesday, i'm sure i'll be fine ab that and not want to kill myself by thursday

[britcision]

AND HERE WE ARE! Totally getting this out in February well done team! And this is gonna be our last chapter before a wee teeny tiny time skip and Jason’s finished core! What a beautiful day 🥰

We’re getting another two-parter too, because Danny and Jason refused to let me get to the end of this lil introductory arc without at least one more pile of abject fluff! But finally, we’re ready to begin the plot!

Once again, the link to the AO3 version is in the first chapter and the 15th chapter; you can see it in the text for the link if you wanna subscribe to be told when it updates 😁

First Chapter:

Previous Chapter:

——————

So That Just Happened part 1

Back in her own room on the other side of the country from Gotham, Sam Manson reclined back into giant, coffin shaped body pillow her beloved girlfriend had given her when they moved and contemplated her phone.

The brand new Wayne-chat was blowing up satisfactorily, although apparently Tim was a massive stalker too. That was probably a good thing; it meant she hadn’t actually nuked Tuck’s chances with his nerd-crush. Now they could bond over their mutual stalker tendencies.

But, did that make her revenge less effective?

It wasn’t like she was actually out to ruin his life, but she’d kinda like to leave a mark. Something that would make him think twice about letting her think he and Danny had fucking died in Gotham in her absence.

Or. Well. Gone radio silent in Gotham, which was probably actually worse because if they were dead she’d know exactly where they were.

The Wayne chat were all pretty sure Tim and Tucker were together too, and Sam’s new best friend Babs had even pulled up the feed from their living room tv somehow. Sam wasn’t exactly the tech wizard Tucker was, but… after seeing that, she disconnected her and Val’s TV from the wifi.

And settled in to remote watch Tuck get his ass kicked at Spiderheck, apparently. At least for a little while; until something else on her phone caught her attention.

It was… almost funny. While she knew she was a whole three timezones away, she’d never really felt left out before. Like maybe she should have stayed on the east coast…

Not that she regretted it, of course. She had a good job, a good school, a wonderful girlfriend who’d been so excited to get into a good school and really go to town on the business department.

(Apparently there were posters of Val’s face in the ethics classrooms. Sam refused to ask if they were golden example or dire warning.)

She was just… a long way away. Even a long portal away, and… being back with the guys, even in Gotham, made the quiet of their comfy little apartment seem lonely.

Huffing, she turned and traced her fingers through the leaves of her mimosa plant on the windowsill beside the bed. They curled gently shut at her touch, and made her smile. Just like always.

She was happy to be home. She wasn’t technically liminal enough yet that it was her haunt, but… well, for all the jokes Val made, Sam had to admit she’d put down roots. She loved her job at the greenhouses, and her internship at the botanical gardens.

She loved scaring the hell out of the dudebros in Val’s business classes who thought ethics were a waste of time. She loved sharing messages with Jazz about the boys, laughing that even three hours ahead, Tuck and Danny still couldn’t get up before them.

She was kinda considering texting Harley about Timblr too. Not like, for any particular reason; if Tim’s family weren’t gonna embarrass Tucker enough, Harley probably wouldn’t either. She’d probably think it was adorable.

Or, y’know, worrying evidence of obsession. Psych types worried about stuff like that, usually.

Sam was kinda also considering sending Harley Jazz’s number. Jazz might still be skating just on the neurosurgery side of the line, but she’d always been big into psychology. Big enough to try and triple major, and only drop to major-major-minor after the third pre-exam meltdown.

And she could use having someone else do the shrink bit on her a little more often. Although really, for that Sam should make her a professional appointment; friends didn’t ask friends to psychoanalyze their overprotective pseudo-sisters. And Jazz could use more friends.

Jazz could use a transfer to a specialty that would let her sleep once in a while, a more stable supply of fresh ecto, and about six weeks in a meditation retreat to get the accidental telepathy under control, but more friends would be good too. And less stubborn insistence on her second try for double majors.

Maybe the switch to psychiatry full time would be good for her? Or psychology. Sam was a little fuzzy on the difference, which one Jazz was currently still minoring in, and which one Harley did.

(Jazz’s current second major was neurosurgery, which Jazz insisted was totally less taxing alongside a neurology major because it was the same body part. She was the only person in her class attempting the double major though, so.)

Humming tunelessly to herself, Sam flicked back into the group chat. Babs was still sharing the feed… brows drawing in, Sam frowned at the little spider figures still fighting to the death. Now, she wasn’t as big of a gamer as she used to be, but she was pretty sure Spiderheck didn’t actually offer red berets.

Snorting a laugh, she flicked back out of the chat and opened a new one, adding both Jazz and Harley. All it needed was the perfect name… something that would grab both of their attention.

Obvious. Child’s play.

Snuggling back into her coffin pillow, Sam grinned down at her phone screen.

Danny Has A Boyfriend chat was live.

**

Having eight legs wasn’t exactly the same as suddenly having four new ones, or two new legs and two new arms. While the first two were definitely functioning as “hands”, being the ones to pick up and use all of the weapons, Tim had quickly learned that he could grip with any of the eight “feet” that were available.

Yeah, spinning a laser staff all the way down one side of his body and up the other was fucking cool.

He’d adjusted pretty quickly during their “practice” round, while they all got used to the web slinging and worked out how to open the boxes and use the weapons.

(Tucker had swung himself into the lava by accident, so they’d started a second round.)

Tim felt pretty much ready to go, although if he was honest with himself… his only actual complaint was that he didn’t have a camera.

Conner had asked Tuck at the start of their second round if his powers had been nerfed to make it “fair”. Tucker, sweet innocent Tucker, had managed to convey a sidelong look even looking at even without a face on their little blob bodies and said he didn’t think Conner needed a nerf.

He just needed to understand how the powers worked, and they could be incorporated into the system. Which, well, was like catnip for Conner.

At least Tucker seemed a lot less flustered about talking to him while they were both spiders, because Conner had started talking his ear off about TTK and hadn’t stopped since.

Tim was kinda considering swinging over and taking them both out, just to get the game moving. But Conner was cute when he got really into something, and being a headless little spider body did not seem to have changed that.

He spent the time practicing with the webs instead, spinning and tossing himself around the map. It was pretty similar to using a grapple, although he wasn’t exactly sure whether or not the web was coming from his own body.

If it was, it was coming from inside a foot, which wasn’t how actual spiders worked… but Tim was pretty sure that was on Spiderheck, not Tucker.

Being able to run around upside down was the biggest change for him, and pretty cool. Tim scuttled around under a couple of the higher platforms for a while, planning his strategy.

Honestly, he was pretty sure TTK was going to wind up fucking Conner over rather than making anything easier for him. You’d think that flying would be an advantage in Spiderheck, at least as far as avoiding lava or an out of bounds, but Tim knew pretty explicitly how far it took Conner to stop.

It wasn’t exactly on a dime, and in this game? The pace didn’t exactly allow for imprecision.

And they were wasting time talking about it rather than getting used to having an extra six hand-feet.

Still upside down, Tim twisted until he could see the other two spiders. Which was when he learned that… they did kinda have their faces on them. Just, instead of being in a face position, on the front of his body that he was seeing out of, it was just sorta… plastered across the body.

Like a photo skin mapped onto a flat blob.

He considered letting the other two know; if anyone walked into the room, they’d probably be able to see their little faces on the screen. If they were just standing around talking.

Also, the pictures’ mouths weren’t moving, which hadn’t been weird when Tim was listening to them talk and didn’t think they had mouths. Kinda was to look down on Conner’s smiling face and hear his voice at a mile a minute.

Tucker probably already knew, and might have done the faces on purpose? And if he hadn’t, it was gonna be pretty funny to see what happened when he noticed.

He’d gotten progressively better at actually talking to Conner the longer he wasn’t actually looking at him, and the focus being on the game had helped too. Face in the game? Probably gonna throw him again.

And it was probably time to get things actually moving, so he could enjoy that.

Humming softly to himself, Tim scuttled across to the loot crates, found himself a double ended lightsabre, and dropped down on Tucker and Conner’s heads.

**

“Sooooooo…” Danny clapped his hands, doing his best to make his broad grin at least look a little innocent as he floated sideways into Jason’s field of view, “not that that wasn’t adorable and dramatic and everything, super touching, buuuut…?”

He almost laughed as Jason jumped, having apparently forgotten Danny was there for a hot second, then pulled his hand back from Lady Gotham’s to glare at him. The Lady herself didn’t bother hiding her chuckle, settling back to recline once more on a cloud of smog.

“Was there something you needed, Phantom?” She asked with a dry amusement.

Danny shrugged innocently, sticking his hands in his spectral pockets. Much more dangerous than regular pockets, but he’d not been doing more than blob wrangling lately.

“Not so much what I need, just, y’know, trying to keep things on track. I dunno if you’ve got other plans for the night Jay, but we were with Frostbite for a while and if you did…” he trailed off, and Jason grimaced.

“Not what you’d call set plans, but…” Jason trailed off as well, and Danny could feel the guilt even before it tried creeping in.

Nope, not having that. He’d almost talked himself into that bullshit already tonight, none for Jason. He nodded airily, floating up to drape an arm over the larger man’s shoulder.

“All I’ve gotta do is get to bed before midnight, so I’m not rushing now that Tucker’s found himself a new ride.” Waggled eyebrows punctuated that comment with enough emphasis that Jason snickered, darker feelings pushed aside without finding purchase.

“What, you don’t wanna go watch that train wreck in person?” Jason teased with a lopsided half smile.

Danny pulled a face, both at the thought of Tucker’s goddamn disastrous attempts at flirting and… well, the possibility of running into Bruce again. Maybe Constantine.

Danny was maaaaaybe kinda avoiding the wizard since he’d started collecting the other contracts on his soul; it wasn’t like he wanted them for nefarious purposes, it was just fucking weird. He didn’t like owning people. Not even overgrown Sour Patch Kids in trench coats.

(At least Constantine was still alive though. Those unlucky souls who died still bound to Pariah damn near went through a full reboot. No memories, no personality, none of what Danny would have thought of as like, the core components of a soul.

So far nothing anyone had done had been able to help them, and Danny had a nasty feeling the final answer would be Ending them. The Observants didn’t want to, they were perfectly happy with a thrall army so long as they controlled it, but Danny was firm.

No slaves, no thralls. If the only way he could free them was through a final and permanent death… he would.

But Clockwork was still looking, and so long as the ancient of time thought there might be a way… Danny held out hope too.)

For now, he shook his head quickly, holding up both hands.

“No way man. Bruce already hates my guts, I’m gonna keep a healthy distance.”

For both their sakes, really. Jason’s mood every time Bruce had spoken to him today kinda proved he hadn’t listened to Danny’s advice and stepped up. Not that Danny had exactly expected him to; again, hated his guts.

Jason pulled a face but didn’t bother to argue; he’d probably rather not actually deal with the old man for a third time either. Instead he just shrugged, turning his attention back to Lady Gotham.

“Do you know what time it is in Gotham now, my lady?” He asked, and the really weird thing was that it didn’t actually sound weird.

Danny always felt awkward and formal whenever he tried to address a ghost by their title, and Lady Gotham was the very worst because she never bothered to hide when she was laughing at him. Which was, y’know, every time he said it.

(He wasn’t gonna just call her “Gotham” though. That would be worse, so he just sucked it up.)

On Jason’s lips, words like “my lady” just sounded right. Danny flashed back for a moment to snow in a graveyard, and Jason knelt before him quoting Shakespeare. There was something in Jason that was just made for flowery language and dramatic proclamations.

Lady Gotham clearly agreed, bestowing a fond smile upon Jason before inclining her head back for a moment, those red on black eyes glowing suddenly brighter. Looking into the living world, or right up Clockwork’s ass?

“It’s coming to ten o’clock,” she said softly, something almost like regret in her tone. The smile that she turned back to them was softer, sadder.

Danny’d feel bad about being the one to point it out, except, yeah. He’d had to. Ghosts in general didn’t exactly think about time. It was a problem for the living, so - him. And Jason.

Who didn’t seem nearly so sorry with the answer. He nodded, fingers beginning to drum against his thigh.

“Time for a few more questions, then.” That wasn’t a question, and if Danny was completely insensate or possibly locked in a sensory deprivation tank he might have warned Jason about talking to a powerful spirit like that.

It’d need to be a damn good tank for him to miss all the signs though; Jason was so in the good books. Lady Gotham just smiled and nodded, gesturing once more with her traffic cone.

“Of course. And, of course, we will have plenty of other opportunities to speak. I may spend much of my time here, but now that we have been introduced… I can also speak to you there, if you would like?”

It was a delicate question, and Danny hesitated, suddenly wondering if he should… well, elaborate again.

“Uh… yeah, sure? I’d like that?” Jason asked, clearly confused by the reticence, and that made up Danny’s mind.

“She’s not going to sound the same,” he explained quickly, giving Lady Gotham a quick smile. She smiled back, gesturing for him to continue, because none of the damn older ghosts explained shit for themselves.

Danny totally didn’t roll his eyes.

“Like, the way we talk to her in the Infinite Realms is kinda the abstract? She looks kinda human,” he added, gesturing vaguely at the Lady.

Jason’s brows furrowed for a moment, but he felt more curious than concerned.

“So… she’s an anthropomorphic personification, but not in the living world?” He asked, and Danny’s eyes nearly crossed.

He turned to Lady Gotham, hoping that this might be some weird city slang, and she laughed at him. Again.

“Yes,” she agreed with Jason instead, which absolutely did not help. “It’s easier for me to speak with you here, using eyes and ears like your own. But building and maintaining this shape in the living world is… complicated.”

“Because her real body there is the city,” Danny added, privately resolving to ask Sam what the fuck Jason was talking about later.

Honestly, Jason would probably get along real good with Mr Lancer. They both liked weird words.

At least he actually looked a little confused too now; Danny had freaked the first time Lady Gotham talked to him out in the city itself. He gave Jason a consoling pat on the shoulder.

“You’ve gotta see it to believe it, man. Just… it’s gonna be weird.” Not the most helpful, sure, but Danny was doing his best!

Jason nodded slowly, willing to table it for now, and refocused on Lady Gotham, something darker now welling in the purpose building inside him.

“So you said the Joker wasn’t from the Curse,” he said bluntly. Danny flinched, more from the lack of any aura inflection than the remnants he could feel.

Yeah, a lotta Gothamites hated the Joker specifically, but if Danny had even the faintest doubt of who’d killed Jason… the black, leaden lump of Death in Jason’s aura wiped it out.

Lady Gotham stilled too, her own smile fading as she regarded Jason. Those red and black eyes were suddenly so much older, so much sadder.

“Yes,” she agreed softly, lowering her traffic cone to rest at her hip. “Are you sure?”

‘Are you sure you want to know?’

Or ‘Are you sure you want to know now?’

Danny wouldn’t put money on which she’d intended, but it didn’t take a genius to know the answer to both. Stubborn, emotionally repressed, and self destructive as hell, bat-training only left one answer.

Jason nodded firmly now, his jaw clenching.

“Yes.”

Lady Gotham studied him for a moment longer but didn’t argue, inclining her head gently.

“Then I will be brief. While the Curse has always been part of the city, feeding on fear and despair, in recent years we have both felt… something else. I told you of the malevolence on the land?” She asked, and Jason made a soft, impatient noise.

“And that it’s where the Curse comes from, yeah. And that the Joker is different,” he prodded.

Danny made a face. He was usually very much on the side of blunt answers, and knew full well that the Lady wouldn’t actually like, break Jason for being mouthy. He was very, very used to seeing favouritism from the outside, and Jason was clearly a firm favourite.

Maybe because he was currently Gotham’s only actual part ghost child? (To be fair, Danny didn’t think that’d change much in the fullness of time; Jason was his favourite of all the bats alive or dead.)

Whatever it was, his interruption only brought a flicker of a smile to the Lady’s lips, which vanished just as quickly.

“Yes. The Curse is indeed the original manifestation of that malevolence, given form and now, purpose. But even that malevolence came from somewhere; Gotham lies on a crack between worlds, older than time. Every world in the multiverse exist along certain markers; certain weak spots. Gotham is one of them.”

“Of course it is,” Jason grumbled beside him and Danny shifted closer, brushing their shoulders together.

Personally, he figured that if Gotham was a weak point in the universe and all the bad shit just leaked through, they were probably doing pretty well for themselves. Then, he’d seen the depths of the Ghost Zone; he knew what else could be trying to leak through.

Which, obviously, meant the good luck had to end.

“When the Joker died,” Lady Gotham continued, only to be cut off by a startled “What?!” from Jason and a totally-super-dignified squawk from Danny.

“You are not gonna tell me that asshole’s a ghost!” Danny moaned, dragging his hands down his face. Honestly, if he’d missed a whole actual ghost in the city for an entire year too, he was never going to live it down.

Like any of the other ghosts had any fucking clue what it was like being half alive… or living fully inside a city spirit’s haunt. Let them visit Lady Gotham’s and see what they sensed.

“Who the hell killed the Joker?!” Jason demanded, something weirdly like panic spiking through anger. “It wasn’t fucking Bruce-”

Lady Gotham silenced them both with a pointed look, shadows growing suddenly long and dark under her stare. Then she returned her gaze to Jason, her expression sombre.

“The Joker is not a ghost, nor a halfa. Bruce Wayne resuscitated him, which may be all that kept him from becoming a manifestation himself; he was killed not only in Gotham, but by a nexus point, in rage and revenge and hatred.”

There was something dark in Lady Gotham’s eyes now, something black and burning and for half a second Danny could swear he felt that rage himself, deep in his chest.

“Something else leaked through in the short time that he was dead,” she went on, her gaze firmly locked on Jason’s and Danny couldn’t imagine just how much the older-younger halfa was feeling under its full force. “Something small, and hungry, and craving death because it was denied his - the death I believe would give it shape.”

It wasn’t enough for Jason, that much was obvious; bitterness-frustration-grief hung in the air in a cloud almost thicker than the Lady’s smogs, and this time Danny gave in to temptation.

Let his own soothing-sorrow-loss twine through, even if he didn’t exactly understand the cause of the feeling. Jason startled a little, knocked from grumbling something that hadn’t been for anyone but him, but his hand reached back for Danny’s. Squeezed tight, even as the bitterness deepened.

His eyes narrowed, he remained focused on Lady Gotham though.

“Of course. Of course he fucking brought the clown back, even after someone did the world a fucking favour,” he hissed through his teeth, then raised his voice more clearly. “So, what? No one can ever kill the Joker, or Gotham gets another curse? Who’d fucking notice at this point?”

A genuine sorrow and pain passed across Lady Gotham’s face but she schooled it, kept her own aura calm and composed… or at least in closer than they could feel. There was probably a reason she’d put space between them again.

“Not quite, but close,” she agreed softly, those red bat eyes somehow more gentle even against the black pupil. “This other entity is already here, growing each day. Every violent death in Gotham is being consumed by it, which I will admit has strengthened the truce between the Curse and myself. Neither of us wish to feed it any more than necessary.”

Danny’s brows furrowed at that and he tried to think back to everything that Frostbite had ever told him about spirits. Not the dead-people kind, but the Neverborn; entities, concepts, ideas given form. Like time, and cities.

“So… when did the Joker die?” He asked cautiously, and felt surprise jolt through Jason. Lady Gotham gave him a quick glance, and cocked her head at Jason himself.

“Not so long after Jason did. A matter of months, less than a year, though he was dead less than a few minutes.” There was something in her tone, a weight on the words that made Danny think he was on the right track… but that she didn’t want to say it.

Which. Well. That was all kinds of bad fucking news if an entity as old as Lady Gotham was wary of speaking it into being. Luckily, Danny was just a fucked up little half ghost who had absolutely no supernatural tie ins to things like belief.

And he believed in just laying all the cards on the table before he decided if he had to flip it.

“That’s really young for any kind of belief spirit,” he said bluntly, watching Lady Gotham’s eyes. Saw… just a hint of something, creasing the corners, and seriously considered reaching his aura to hers for the first time today.

It’d save so much time to just get the message through feeling, but… if she preferred words, the words had to be important, and Jason probably needed words.

Fuck, they’d all need words, because this was going to be a goddamn bat-briefing if Lady Gotham was filling them in, and Mr Emotional Repression Is My Soulmate was not going to be up to aura reads.

Chewing his lower lip, he thought through the next stage a couple times before speaking slowly, watching for any hint he was still on the right path.

“If… it’s grown fast enough that you both noticed… it’s not new?” He tried, wondering briefly if he’d retroactively doomed them all by thinking about “what else could break through” from the depths of the Zone.

Lady Gotham shook her head though, gesturing impatiently through her smoke to clear it… maybe the first sign he’d ever seen that she didn’t control it entirely.

“No. That much, we are both certain of. This entity… it is new and unformed, with no Name of its own. At the moment, all of the fear it wreaks is only feeding belief in the Curse, which is why it only has death. But there is already a will there, long before it should even have awareness. And it wants to grow.”

“Oh great, so Joker’s got a Pitty 2.0 but his is on the outside,” Jason quipped, irritation sparking through him… and Danny was kinda glad to see it, honestly. Just a little flash of the guy he’d been getting to know in all the dark.

Even Lady Gotham managed a brief smile, and didn’t actually bother refuting it; closing her eyes for a moment, she waved her hand and the clouds of smog between them solidified briefly into a model of the city. Buildings only, but with horribly empty shadows between them.

“The Joker’s death gave it an entrance, and his revival denied it his shape, his Name, and the fear he commands. But it is no longer fixated on killing the Joker - and it was, for several years. It pushed him before it had the power for anything else, driving him further, feeding poison to those around him, trying to have him killed so that it could become The Joker, the pure essence of every bloody mark the clown left on Gotham. And it very nearly succeeded,” she added softly, her gaze turning back to Jason with an almost tangible sorrow.

Something in Danny’s gut iced over, and suddenly he was really, really glad he didn’t know what she was thinking.

**

Bruce looked better as he rose from the table, Diana decided, watching her old friend closely. For all that he’d come with an actual reason for his doom and gloom (for a change), his attitude during the briefing was positively relaxed compared to their own discussion that followed.

He would still be worrying and fretting, she knew him too well to believe anything else, and… she knew why. While Diana had no children of her own (though she had met and heard of other versions of herself who had), she did dearly love her own proteges, and those of her friends.

She remembered Jason as the young, sweet boy who’d stumbled over every word he said to her and stared at her like she’d hung the stars. She remembered Bruce’s grief, Batman’s rage, and the shadow that hung over the Dark Knight with every step until Tim Drake took him to heel.

She knew that there was too much there, the guilt and pain and loss and grief for Bruce to see Jason objectively, and she didn’t begrudge him that. Nor did she condone it.

It only hurt both men, and while she would not give her opinion when it wasn’t wanted… well, she was aware Bruce spoke to Clark of his worries around Jason much more often than he would to her. This time though, she’d had no choice.

She knew the man well enough to know what was truly scaring him in this situation; that Jason would be taken from him again. He was at least as upset by this “Danny” boy as the thought of war with an entire realm.

It would have been cute, if he wasn’t a grown adult man who prided himself on critical thinking. Or actively forcing his son away with his own actions at every turn.

Still, there was one piece of counsel she could give. The thing he hated the most of all was a mystery. And while she also didn’t usually condone his stalking-as-a-sign-of-affection…

“Batman.”

He stopped in the doorway but didn’t look back, still as a statue. At least he was listening.

A fond smile pulling across her lips, Diana shook her head. Let the formal tones of Wonder Woman return to the voice of a friend.

“You see many dangers in the unknown. Perhaps you might reassure yourself by getting to know young Danny Fenton as a person, rather than a potential threat.”

He stayed frozen in the doorway for a moment longer, then nodded his head sharply and swept away.

Diana stifled a chuckle. Honestly, for all Constantine had come to her as if the world were about to end… all of their problems with this Infinite Realm were perfectly clear to her.

The American government had overstepped drastically with their Anti Ecto Acts and would be brought to heel.

The new ruler of the Infinite Realms had turned their head in this direction, and guided them to what must be fixed.

And young Jason Todd, while far from the only hero who had died and returned, had been chosen by this ruler to be favoured with protection, in exchange for service.

Of course, it may all blow out of control and become as dire as her dear friend already seemed to believe it was, but for all Bruce was constantly creating contingencies and backup plans, he very rarely had to use most of them.

She turned her attention to John Constantine instead, the magician seeming much less inclined to make himself scarce than usual. At least he had also calmed considerably, and was even smiling in his own crooked fashion after Bruce.

“You know he’s gonna go stalk that poor kid even more now?” He asked sardonically, pulling another cigarette from his pack but not reaching for the lighter.

Diana hesitated for a moment.

She’d meant for Bruce to talk to Danny, preferably directly. But Bruce did not like talking to new people; not without thorough research and a chance to prepare.

Then she shrugged.

“If it will keep him from disrupting our already tense situation with the Infinite Realms, better that he distract himself with more fatherly concerns,” she said simply.

Constantine snickered again, then frowned.

“Wait, fatherly concerns? For some kid his boy’s known like, a week?”

This time, Diana didn’t bother to restrain her smile, glancing down at the phone in her pocket.

“Merely a week, perhaps, but according to Wonder Girl they have already been caught at least once without their trousers.”

Which hadn’t been part of the official presentation, of course. Nor apparently whatever Bruce had already shared with Constantine, as the mage promptly nearly swallowed his unlit cigarette and began choking.

Diana gave him a carefully gauged slap to the back, sending the now soaked and crumpled smoke across the meeting table, but politely did not laugh.

**

Jason was pretty sure he was going to puke. Or scream. Maybe both.

It wasn’t bad enough that Bruce had refused to kill the Joker, to stop him from killing anyone else, no, he’d fucking brought him back to life. Given the fucking Joker the chance that none of his victims ever got.

None of them except Jason.

And now apparently even wanting the bastard dead was all part of some master fucking plan to make the fucking asshole even worse.

He’d wanted Bruce to be the one to avenge him from the second Tallia pulled him out of the Lazarus Pit, but when he’d come to Gotham… when his plans to carve out his turf, provoke the Joker with an old alias, set the trap had suddenly become stuffing heads in a bag…

He’d thought about it. A lot. About just hunting the fucker down, putting a bullet between his eyes, and leaving him in the Batcave deader than dead.

Had nearly done it, but no. He’d wanted… he’d wanted Bruce to choose him. To put him first, to say he loved Jason more than some moral stance, to value Tim’s life more, and Steph, and Cass, over the fucking scum who would have happily killed every last one of them with a smile on his face just to see if Bruce finally broke.

And Bruce hadn’t.

Bruce had nearly killed him.

And in and around that whole mess, he’d never gotten around to actually thinking about how his fucking daddy issues had saved the Joker’s life for… years, by now.

Jason wasn’t killing anymore. Not like, actively. Intentionally. Not because he thought Bruce was right; something, someone, had to be willing to stand up for the people of Gotham and actually stop fuckers like the Joker from killing them.

But… well, Crime Alley was his territory, and a scared enemy, a cowed enemy who’d seen their life in Jason’s hands and knew just how easily he could end it was more useful than dealing with the power vacuum, or the next million upstarts who’d think they knew better, would be better, and could take on the Red Hood themselves.

Ironically, keeping fuckers like Black Mask and Great White Shark alive and in power (at severely reduced scale) saved him time. Kept him from dealing with all those upstarts himself.

That was how Waylon had put it, back when Jason was considering adding to his bag of heads. It was… like farming. Keep them low, but keep them stable. Break anything new they went for, or anything that got on his turf.

Let them harvest some of the power hungry fucks who thought they could take a piece of the Alley.

And then Dick had noticed. And reached out. And didn’t stop until Jason gave in and reached back.

When Danny came to Gotham. Somehow, it all swung back around to Danny.

And the fact that if he actually believed what he told Bruce, he could have gone to kill the clown himself at any time since returning to the city.

And he never had. The time wasn’t right. Something came up. Something went wrong, or broke, or distracted him before he thought too hard about it.

Killing the Joker hadn’t even been in his original plans for his triumphant return. He’d just wanted to take back the Alley, prove his point to Bruce. Keep his home safe.

When had killing the Joker become such a big part of the plan? Who the fuck had gotten into his fucking head, redefined him as the last moment of his fucking life, demanded his new life be all about how the last one ended?

Eyes narrowing, he looked searchingly into Lady Gotham’s face just in time to catch her slow nod, like she’d heard every thought. Like he’d been speaking aloud.

“I could not stop it from reaching to you,” she said softly, her voice heavy with sadness, “but I could… distract. Get in the way, make its path harder. That you did not give in…”

Something soft, something proud flickered in her eyes again, and it made him want to squirm.

“You may not have consciously known that you fought yet another enemy, yet you triumphed regardless. My dear Jason…” she sighed, heavy with sorrow, and reached out a hand again as though to cup his face.

Jason found himself moving to meet her before he even thought about it. Stopped himself just before it actually got him anywhere.

He wasn’t done being angry yet. He wasn’t even sure he’d actually started. If he could ever, would ever, be angry enough for this.

There was something building in him like a tide, riding high on resentment and his spiralling thoughts. It wasn’t green tinted like the pit rage, his vision was still clear… if anything, it felt sharper, like everything had been dialled up to eleven. Like the terrible, roaring anger was seeking a target.

“I am sorry that you have been robbed of your justice in this way,” Lady Gotham said quietly and once again Jason’s focus narrowed down with her intensity, like she was the only real thing in the world, “that even your own emotions of this, your death, have been used against you. It is…”

She hesitated, actually looking to Danny for help herself for the first time. Judging from the sudden low horror Jason could feel from the other man, he might actually be under reacting.

Or the tide was still rising.

He felt like razing the whole city to the fucking ground, with his own hands, brick by brick. Or puking. Or screaming until his lungs ripped out of his chest, if only he could move.

It felt like something had reached into his brain and cranked up the contrast, made the already neon brights of the Ghost Zone brighter, the shadows darker, the very air prickling at his skin like needles with the urge to do something.

Because if he moved, did anything, he wouldn’t be able to stop. Not when every muscle ached to tear the whole universe apart.

He was almost a passenger in his own skin as something else, a different, slow boiling rage barely under control clamped him in a vice.

“So y’know we talked about not asking about how ghosts died?” Danny said slowly, his voice suddenly low and hoarse.

Jason managed a stiff nod, every muscle twanging tight with tension. It had been pretty important, pre-Ghost-Zone.

And he could put the pieces together, right from the tight hot center of that ball of rage that he was pretty sure was his own core.

“This is worse,” he said gruffly, not bothering to look over. Didn’t have to, when he could feel the face Danny was pulling through the worry-worry-fear-anger-horror still surrounding him.

He… fuck. He was a little afraid of what he might do, if there was even an ounce of pity on Danny’s face, and honestly that panicked him more than anything else. All the rage wanted was a target, and he didn’t think he’d be able to choose what it was.

Danny nodded anyway, making a conscious effort to try and reign his aura in. Like he couldn’t hear the subtext, feel it in Jason’s, or like he could and didn’t care.

It left him feeling cold, icy and alone, but still relieved under the echoing slam of rage in his veins. A little more alone in his own head. A little less watched. Judged. Not good enough.

“Like, worse than worse, dude. Ghosts will throw down and rip each other apart just for fun and no one’s actually hurt, but… you don’t fuck with somebody’s death. You just don’t. It’s the worst thing you could do to a ghost, worse than Ending them. Not even Pariah Dark…”

“Exactly,” Lady Gotham hissed, baring her teeth in something not even remotely a smile, full cheeks and lips suddenly gaunt and hollow as the teeth became fangs. It lasted barely a moment, a flicker before it faded, but it snapped Jason straight out of his fury with a sudden shock of terror.

She’d been intimidating before. Effortlessly, gracefully powerful and commanding, the kind of person people would beg to step on them without a hint of aggression. Those teeth though… just the moment of that rage, of something so powerful suddenly nothing but raw, feral danger…

It wasn’t even directed at him but it still felt like a bucket of cold water down his spine. An instant urge to duck his head, show his throat, convince this much larger predator that he wasn’t a threat.

She was immediately contrite, turning her head away as her face cast into shadow, only the red pupils still visible.

“My apologies. It is… less personal for me than it is for you, yet it seems still too close to my heart.”

Forcing himself to swallow, Jason took a couple of deep, heavy breaths. The anger was still there, kind of. He could feel it in an almost distant way, past the hammering of his heart, but it wasn’t all he was anymore.

It was just… a feeling now. One he was in control of.

The shadows were just shadows again. The green of the Zone no longer blinding.

He blew the last breath out slowly, and let the remnants of the anger go with it.

“No, uh… it’s fine. I think that helped, actually,” he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and suddenly embarrassed at just how tense he’d become.

Justified, apparently, from both the other ghosts’ reactions, but that didn’t mean Jason wanted to feel so out of control. How close to just… being carried away by the anger.

No matter what anyone else said, no matter what the damn Pit or Joker-monster or whatever the fuck else tried to do, Jason Todd was not going to be defined by rage.

For one thing, he’d never live it down.

Danny sagged beside him, relief as tangible as that last breath flowing out of him, despite the core of concern underneath. That was fine; Jason was still concerned too.

And maybe thinking about his stash of ecto-candies again, but he honestly didn’t feel half as drained this time. He wasn’t even scared of Lady Gotham anymore - that moment had ended as soon as it started. As soon as she’d tucked those terrifying needle-like teeth away. Now she just looked…

Proud. Proud, and fond, and so, so sad. Like Alfred had been the first time he presented Jason with his very own Robin suit for the field.

It choked something inside Jason just a little, made his throat tight and breath hitch.

“You are so much more than anyone gives you credit for, Jason Todd,” she said softly, her sclera softening briefly to a bright, sunshine yellow. Like the cape he’d drowned in as a boy flying from her rooftops, “and they all think far better of you than you believe.”

That caught him up for a moment, confusion pulling into the absolute fucking mess of emotions he was pretty sure he was projecting to all and sundry.

Then Danny sighed heavily and draped himself sideways over Jason’s shoulders like a particularly lanky and bony scarf.

“Yeah, yeah, and your ghost mom is fucking terrifying. Did not need that reminder, Ladyship,” he tossed at Lady Gotham with a cheeky wink, effectively steam rolling the tension yet again.

Jason could have kissed him, but from the angle Danny had flopped on, his options were armpit or hip, and neither appealed.

Sassy comebacks, he could handle. Reassurances that people didn’t think he was a complete sack of shit, apparently not.

The whole batfam were just perfect poster kids for mental health, alright?

The Lady herself laughed softly and inclined her head, not arguing the point.

“Of course. Still, I am sorry Jason.”

He cut her off this time, raising both hands and stopping just short of reaching for the back of his neck again, which was about where Danny’s waist was sat.

“Don’t be. I… think I needed to be knocked out of my head there. I really do feel better now,” he added, and Danny huffed a noncommittal noise and ruffled his hair.

“Yeah, well. You’re allowed to be pissed about it,” Danny informed him like he wasn’t sure if Jason actually knew that.

Which, obviously, Jason absolutely wasn’t. He had a pit ghost baby to teach good habits to, and Danny still had no idea what Jason was like when he actually lost control of the anger. But he could appreciate the sentiment.

And deflect like a Robin.

“Oh, is that a royal decree?” He asked archly, and while this noise was no more coherent than the last it was decidedly more whiny and drawn out into wordless protest.

Which still ended in a very quiet “yes.”

Luckily, quiet enough that Jason could pretend he didn’t hear it.

“Anyway, I’m good. Still gonna kick this thing’s ass for messing with my head, and maybe put it in a blender, but for now I’m good. Chill vibes only for Pitty,” he added with a roll of his eyes when Danny made a confused little chirping sound.

Lady Gotham chuckled softly to herself and nodded, resettling herself to recline on her smog clouds once more.

“Indeed. You currently have more pressing concerns; as little as I enjoy the present situation, it can wait. The Curse and I can monitor this new being’s behaviour through the rogues it has affected; they are noticeably becoming more violent, while the Curse is swaying the rest towards being less. For contrast,” she added before Jason could ask.

Which… might actually explain why Riddler had tossed a broken game box at Croc and the Wayne gala rather than trying to fix it. He’d stripped most of the interesting stuff according to Tim’s report, sure, but Nygma never let a thread go.

So he wasn’t gonna be on this new bad guy’s kill list.

Nor would Waylon, and Harley had been more destructive than homicidal for years. Already making a mental list on the events he’d caught wind of in the last few weeks, Jason didn’t even realise the conversation had moved on without him until Danny stuck a wet finger in his ear.

“What the actual fuck!” Jason demanded, trying to shrug the ghost off his shoulders. And while there was deadass no weight to Danny in this form, it was frankly unfair that he just rolled with the movement like he also didn’t have bones, snickering.

“You had Resting Bat Face,” he explained with a grin, twisting upwards to look down at him in a way that actually really shouldn’t have been doable with a human spine - and Jason had grown up around Dick Grayson, who ran the limit of everything a human spine was capable of.

“He does best with a problem to solve,” Lady Gotham noted with a sly amusement. “This one, however, has no time limit as yet. If I thought you would listen, I would have insisted on telling you at a later date.”

And that was just pointed enough that Jason rolled his eyes, feeling his cheeks flush in spite of himself. He just… liked to have all of the information. It’s not like he was Bruce.

“Yeah, well, I like to know what I’m dealing with,” he grumbled, folding his arms and scowling at Danny. Who grinned back and ruffled his hair.

“Well, either way. Not like you need to pull the spandex back on imminently, right? There’s plenty of bats around,” he offered hopefully, and Jason felt a quick pang.

Danny… really didn’t want him to have to be a vigilante. He could taste it in the hope, in the worry, in everything his king was putting off. For some reason, he seemed to think Jason had come back to life and left the masks behind.

Like he hadn’t even thought about why Jason was still in fighting shape to be his fucking knight in the first place.

He knew he’d be annoyed if it was anyone else trying to insist he stay out of the game. He’d shot at Dick more than once for suggesting he go home when he was injured; the rest knew better than to say a word.

He hadn’t even considered giving up the vigilante life when he came back from the dead… except that brief period when he’d sort of been a rogue. He’d never even been a normal crime lord, most of them were way less hands on.

If he looked at the future now, he couldn’t imagine ever giving it up. The rogues would apparently literally always be a problem; the city would always need protectors.

That thought had never made him sad before, and yet…

Was it really the first time anyone had suggested he’d done enough? He’d died, and sure Jason was back now, but Danny seemed to really, actually believe he could stop wearing the mask.

That he’d given enough, given everything, and could and should just have a peaceful life now.

It made him almost ashamed to admit that he’d never even considered the possibility.

For all Jason railed against teen heroes, he’d only stopped being one for a temporary villain arc. Which was apparently at least partially supernaturally motivated, which was fun.

It’d shut Bruce up if Jason ever dragged that out in an argument, but Bruce already thought Jason was too volatile and susceptible to being controlled. Never mind that he hadn’t actually killed the Joker and started the apocalypse or whatever, all Bruce would hear was “someone else made Jason a villain so it could happen again”.

He’d probably try and take Jason off the case of this mystic whatever that was feeding on death. Fuck that noise. Until Bruce got a face to face with Lady G, Jason probably wouldn’t even tell him the details.

(Honestly, if there was even half a chance of avoiding that subject altogether, he’d take it. Bruce got ornery about magic in his city in a way none of the Robins had ever enjoyed dealing with, and that had been back when he and Jason had a good relationship.

Now… well, Constantine had been sticking around, so hopefully he could handle that mess and Jason could just get the actual work done.)

He gave Danny his best reassuring smile anyway, rolling his eyes and reaching to try and ruffle his hair. Found that he actually couldn’t quite reach with the way Danny was twisted around him, which was kinda weird.

“Yeah, yeah, I heard Frostbite. Side effects of the forming core could be pretty much fucking anything, and til Pitty pops out I’m not even gonna do research on anything that’ll set us off.”

Which wasn’t the same as saying he wouldn’t start the case. He could arrange what he already knew, start a plan of action, and organise his next steps without doing any additional research, after all.

Something about Lady Gotham’s delicately arching eyebrow let him know that she, at least, was onto his bullshit. Lucky for Jason, Danny just accepted the words, grinning and twisting around to wrap his whole head in a hug.

And then flowed back off his shoulders like a fucking liquid before Jason could worry about having to breathe.

“That’s great! Oh, and we should set up your haunt too! That’ll help!” Danny enthused brightly, clapping his hands and doing his best impression of a totally solid human that was apparently not his default.

Maybe it was a ghost thing.

Just so long as he never did it in human form, Jason could ignore that he definitely shoulda felt a ribcage being squeezed like that…

And no, Jason absolutely wasn’t wondering about what else Danny could use that noodley flexibility for. Totally not letting Dick know either… for competitive gymnast reasons, definitely.

No one wanted to deal with that.

And then his brain fizzled to a halt as Danny’s actual words penetrated and a sliver of concern slipped in.

Because… yeah. They’d talked about haunts. It was practically the first topic on the list; what to do in someone else’s haunt, what to never ever do even near someone else’s haunt, what a haunt meant to a ghost.

It was soul-underwear again, one of the most sacred parts of a person’s soul; their truest, actual home. Fortress and power source.

Halfas had to have them too, since Danny and Frostbite had both insisted that keeping and maintaining his haunt were going to be vital to his health while his cores stabilized. As in, Frostbite told him not to leave it for long and suggested redecorating as a soothing activity.

(Danny’s was officially Amity Park, which had not escaped Jason’s notice when he was apparently being put on haunt-arrest. It might have been an older halfa thing; very few ghosts actually stayed in their haunts all the time, although Jason could see the temptation.

It also might have been something else, and Jason had this thing about secrets and surprises down the line. He’d ask later, if he couldn’t work it out himself.)

Danny called Crime Alley Jason’s haunt, and that had felt right from the first time he’d said it. Crime Alley was his, his territory, his space, his home more than anywhere else. He knew it inside and out, could feel its moods and taste the changes in the air when something went wrong.

Baby ghosts usually couldn’t claim a haunt of any size as their own, but Jason knew that the Alley belonged to him.

That was before he’d met Lady Gotham. And if she was the spirit of the whole city… maybe he’d been wrong? Maybe it was just through her that he knew it so well?

He found himself looking to her uncertainly, searching her face in case there was any trace of displeasure. Any sign she didn’t want another ghost’s haunt in… well, what was kinda her physical body.

He couldn’t see or feel anything, but when she’d already been so careful about keeping her feelings her own… no better time to ask, really.

“Yeah… about that…” this time he did scratch the back of his neck, Danny safely down beside him. Which was about when he realized that he had no clue how to word the question.

Haunts were personal, he knew that much.

Then again, Lady Gotham said she was his ghost-mom. That had to include stupid questions. Blunt it was.

“Is it weird if I have a haunt in the city? I mean, it’s obviously your city, duh, but how do I… it feels like I’m squatting in your closet,” he said finally, giving up on not being just the most awkward creature in a thousand mile radius.

Danny’s mouth opened and closed a few times, excitement fading to a confused fascination as his words sunk in.

“Y’know, that’s a really good point… except it’s more like he’s squatting in your kidneys,” he pointed out to Lady Gotham, turning to face her too.

Lady Gotham chuckled softly and took a slow drag from her traffic cone, which had almost stopped smoking.

“Ah, I forget the limitations of a halfa’s knowledge… all ghosts begin with a haunt within their parent’s, Jason. From the moment you returned to my arms I opened up the Alley for you, and it has been yours ever since.” She paused to blow out a long plume of smog, which shaped itself into a tiny row of very familiar buildings.

Jason didn’t have to see more than a couple to know what they were; he could feel it right down to his core.

“When you are older, stronger, you may desire another, although being in the mortal world is already a degree of distance, but Crime Alley will always be your first,” Lady Gotham continued as Crime Alley bloomed from the smog before them, tiny and yet more than just an image, more than just a replica; the real thing in the scope of her power.

There were no lights in tiny windows, nothing moving through the smog, and yet it was still clearly alive. No, filled with things that were alive, people and noise and even the rats.

And it was his. His beating heart.

Lady Gotham’s smile was a tender beacon in the fog, her hands coming up to caress the smoking Crime Alley and gently waft it in his direction.

“Every crumbling brick, every pothole, every shadow. It is a heavy responsibility, and one I shall share with you until you decide you no longer need my help, but it will always be yours, Jason. It would not have accepted anyone else.”

The cluster of smoggy buildings fell apart as they reached Jason and for a moment he nearly panicked trying to keep them together, but… he was suddenly washed in a wave of old, familiar scent.

Not the burned rubber and pollution of all the rest of the smogs, the constant smell of the city. This was… floral. Soft, and sweet, and chemical in the way that cheap perfumes always were because they couldn’t have afforded the good ones.

Watered down, because they could get even that so rarely that she would begin refilling the bottle with water when it was barely half empty. Catherine Todd’s favourite perfume.

It hadn’t covered the stink of cigarettes and worse coming from the very walls of their apartment; he’d only smelled it when she was holding him close. Shielding him from Willis’s rage, tucking him into bed, cuddled up on the couch to wait out the rain or sickness.

The smell of home.

It brought tears to his eyes, the pressure of the day threatening to spill over and overwhelm him again.

Intellectually, it felt like another moment that should have been terrifying. More than any show of teeth, this was her strength. Who and what she was, she could break him with a wave of her hand, a wisp of smoke, and yet…

He felt warm. Comforted. Wrapped in her smile and at peace in a way he hadn’t in… fuck it had been years.

There was something else too, a layer under the flowers that only the deepest detective-trained parts of him tried to pluck apart; it was part of the home smell, inextricable, but it didn’t make sense. Wasn’t the perfume. Just the very faintest hint of baking far away, and Catherine Todd had never been able to afford…

Oh.

Of course not. Because Catherine Todd, his mother in every possible sense of the word but one, had never met Alfred.

**

So, the good news: Tucker was currently in the lead for Spiderheck. Bad news: they’d finished the first set (Tim won, but he’d been two ahead from the start which was cheating), and… the game had ticked directly over into another set.

They hadn’t been planning on changing any settings, so it was fine, and Conner and Tim hadn’t noticed anything wrong.

But… Tucker was beginning to worry, just a little. He’d done video games before, with Danny and Sam; no worries, they’d taken a turn directly in pretty much every game they’d played together.

Just, y’know, he knew Danny and Sam really well. And Tim and Conner were really cool, and he understood a lot more about how the Supers worked than he ever had before? But, maybe that was why he’d kinda screwed up.

Because he wanted things to be fair, and didn’t want them to think he’d given himself extra advantages. So they were all spiders, all the same.

And he wasn’t completely sure where the meta controls were?

Danny and Sam always insisted he have a version of the controller somewhere, so they could flick to the menu (and sometimes run riot there too). Last time they did Spiderheck, he’d put the buttons on his stomach, so Danny and Sam could try and hit them for an extra level of difficulty.

But he wanted to be fair. Didn’t want extra powers. And, apparently, technopathy had sorta maybe converted that wish into him not being able to feel it while he was spidered up.

All his combat moves were fine! The break, grab, web commands were smooth and easy, just like every other time he did them. Different attacks, no worries. And, obviously, he hadn’t stood still and tried to look for the code, because they were playing Spiderheck and that was a really easy way to get wiped.

Dodging another swinging attack from Tim, he scuttled at top speed across the platform and jumped behind a box. No weapons here, and he scanned quickly for the next spawn point.

Which, normally, shoulda shown up on two levels; the normal game vision, and the white lined underlay of the code, which he could always see through from top to bottom of the level.

(This was usually an active impediment rather than an advantage in Spiderheck; it was way too hard to know what he could stand on.)

He couldn’t see one, just the platform above and the wall behind.

Maybe he should take an early death, just to give himself a little time to work this out. Just so he could stop worrying. He was 21, he’d had these powers for years, he totally knew how they worked by now.

He just, maybe, might have gotten overconfident.

Danny would never let him live it down if they all had to be rescued from Spiderheck.

And, way more importantly, Tim Drake-Wayne and his super hot boyfriend would only remember him as the loser who couldn’t even control his powers.

Nope. Absolutely not.

A loud buzzing heralded the arrival of one of the spinning laser traps, and Tucker made up his mind. Just one early death. No worries. He had a two win lead, and honestly he’d rather lose the set than admit he’d fucked up.

Scuttling “away” from Tim’s probable next attack, Tucker scurried into the path of the spinning laser trap.

And saw, at the very last second, Conner swinging in from the other side, directly into a laser.

Shit.

**

Sam was comfortably snuggled down into her pillows and thoroughly enjoying the chaos her new chat was creating when she finally heard the door. A little too buried to easily get up, or look particularly graceful doing it, so instead she stuck a hand straight up into the air.

“In here, love!”

And, like the angel of mercy that she was, Val only made her wait ten minutes to get out of all of her winter gear and put the kettle on before coming to save her from her fate.

“Not the fastest rescue I’ve received,” Sam teased, even as Val hauled her easily to her feet. Val grinned back and pulled her in for a quick peck.

“I wasn’t aware I was being timed. I can do better.”

“I bet you can,” Sam laughed, draping her arms around her girlfriend’s shoulders. Val gave her another, deeper kiss, then drew back enough to press their foreheads together.

“So, how was Gotham? I saw Danny made the front page,” she teased back, and Sam hesitated.

In amongst all of their various plans for disaster, it hadn’t really come up that whatever they did at the party, it was sure to make the gossip rags. Front page though? That was probably an achievement.

And, given what she herself had done, really annoying.

“What, they gave the front page to him? I blatantly accused at least two CEOs and Lex Luthor of weaponizing misogyny, with citations, and Danny got the front page?” She huffed, drawing back and folding her arms, fully intent on turning away to sulk, but not remotely objecting when Val’s arms snuck around her waist and pulled her back in.

Val’s chin tucked in over her shoulder and the taller woman snickered.

“I know, right? Sadly cold hard facts just fade away in the face of a scandal.” Val sighed dramatically, then dropped a kiss on the side of Sam’s neck. “You’re on page seven. It’s mostly about your parents, but using Lex’s name got a couple other points in. Oh, and Vicki Vale did a three page piece on how Brucie Wayne specifically upholds the patriarchy. I think she quoted you.”

Sam considered that for a moment, her arms automatically coming around to cover Val’s for a brief squeeze. It wasn’t like she’d actually been planning to change anything at the gala. Mostly she’d just wanted to be heard.

It could be an interesting starting point, though. Especially since she got to pick her outfit for the next gala; her mother hadn’t even specified that it had to be a dress on the document, which was definitely a peace offering.

Cass Wayne had looked really good in that suit.

Her cheeks suddenly hot for absolutely no reason, Sam twisted in Val’s arms to kiss her again.

“I’m sorry my mom’s… the worst,” she finished lamely, wrapping her arms around Val again.

The whole fall-from-grace thing may have been seven years ago, and Val had more than moved on, but. Well. Sam didn’t exactly believe all the scars had healed.

Especially when Val stilled for a moment in her arms.

Then she chuckled, wrapping her arms a littler tighter around Sam and lifting her off her feet.

“Hey, at least she’s not actually a bigot. It’s always nicer to be hated personally than in general, y’know?” She teased, echoing something Sam was pretty sure Danny had said to her back in her Phantom-hunting days.

Sam huffed and wrapped her legs around Val’s waist too, raining kisses down on her face.

“Yeah, well, she can still shove it up her ass. You’re my date for the next gala, if you actually want to come.”

Which.

Well.

Was about when she realized that the next gala was probably going to be extra interesting, after all their shenanigans. Maybe they should have been more discrete? More careful?

Her worry must have shown on her face, because Val gave her a very gentle bounce to shake her out of it.

“Hey. Samantha Manson. I would be delighted to go to the next gala with you, and tell all the little journalists that yeah, I’m that Val,” she said firmly once Sam had refocused on her. Then she grinned. “I’ll even be on my best behaviour and not one up Danny until the second one.”

That made Sam laugh again, hugging on tight even as Val turned and easily carried her through to their little kitchenette and sat her up on one of the counters.

“Hey, did you get that autograph from Harley for me by the way? I wanna send it to my dad for his birthday,” she added, sneaking another kiss and then pulling a pair of mugs next to the steaming kettle.

Sam considered hopping off the counter. Didn’t bother, reaching behind herself instead to pull her favourite tea for the month and drop a bag into her mug.

“Yeah, a couple actually. And she said if we wanna meet Ivy she’ll let us know when they’re back on the west coast, but it won’t be any time soon.” That hadn’t been particularly surprising, but it still made Sam a little sad.

Just another reminder that they were on the outside looking in all the way over here.

Valerie stilled, coming back and resting both hands on Sam’s thighs.

“Do you miss being on the east coast?” She asked quietly, those gorgeous green eyes so large and gentle.

Sam hesitated a moment longer, then sighed and let her head thunk back against the cupboard behind her.

“Honestly, I think I just miss being closer to everyone. It’s not far for Danny with the Zone, but if you or I wanna visit anyone we have to hop on an airplane or spend weeks driving, neither of which are good for the environment. We just… get forgotten out here, stuck out of the loop.”

Val raised an eyebrow, a smirk on her face but eyes still soft with understanding.

“Oh, like you’re one to talk. I thought I’d pick up a new phone and rejoin the group chat that day, but suddenly I gotta wait nearly a week for “new secrets”,” she teased and Sam sighed, shaking her head. Not quite able to lift all the way out of her funk.

“Yeah, I know… it probably woulda been fine, Danny shouldn’t have dropped anything at all in the main chat if he didn’t want everyone to see it, I just…”

“Wanted to be more sensitive than he is,” Val finished the sentence, leaning in for another kiss. Not needing to reach up even with Sam sat on the counter. “That’s why I’m still dating you.”

It did pull a smile from Sam anyway and she draped her arms over her girlfriend’s shoulders again.

“For some reason. So, what did you think?”

Val shrugged, her hands sliding up to settle around Sam’s waist.

“About a new halfa? Probably sucks for him. Especially when he’s gotta come out as dead to his family. The Waynes aren’t exactly known for being stable,” she pointed out when Sam snickered.

Which was a fair point.

“They’re actually worse when there’s more of them,” she mused, glancing back towards the bed where she’d left her phone, “and the oldest’s a cop now.”

This time it was Val’s turn to snicker.

“Yeah, I heard. Tuck already sent me the blow by blow of you eviscerating the poor guy.”

Sam preened. Deservedly.

“Hey, you know me, I’m not gonna play nice just cuz I’ve been dragged to some social function.”

The snicker turned to a chuckle as Val leaned in, rubbing their noses together.

“And you know me, baby girl, ACAB all the way, and I still think that should extend to the Justice League. Heard half of Batman Inc also showed up, did you let them have it too?”

“You know I did,” Sam purred, locking her ankles behind Val’s back and nipping playfully at her lower lip. Val laughed, her hands creeping slowly up the small of Sam’s back.

“That’s my little leopard. Tea’s done.” And then, totally unfairly, she reached back with one hand and pulled Sam’s ankles apart, slipping free with a laugh as Sam pouted. “Hey, you’d be more upset if I let it over steep.”

“I can make more tea,” Sam grumbled, finally slipping off the counter, but a rebellious smile made it onto her face anyway. Val toasted her with the french press.

“True that, darling, but I’m not wasting the good coffee beans. Daddy asked me four times if I was sure about taking the train but honestly, he’s a state away now, it’s not worth a flight.”

Setting her teabag aside, Sam squirted in some vanilla agave syrup and took a deep breath. Gotham was fine, but no hotels could match her home tea stash. Not even the Waynes could.

“Beautiful, strong, environmentally conscious, and a Daddy’s girl. How did I land you again?” She asked innocently as Val dropped creamer into her own mug.

“By being all of those but the last one,” Val countered easily, taking a mug and holding an arm out for Sam to tuck under. “Now c’mon, if I’m going to the next gala you need to tell me allllll about a certain cutie Cassandra Wayne,” she cooed, making for their couch.

Sam’s face flushed red and she made to duck away instantly, but those damn vigilante muscles made it so hard.

“Okay, veto, you’re not allowed to do that anymore! My mom is trying to hook me up with her!” Sam did not whine. She. Protested. With dignity. Totally no idea why Val snickered, holding her coffee up and away in her other arm.

“Yeah, that’s the point. How funny would it be if Danny and I both stole a Wayne from you?” She asked with a vicious grin.

Which… did make Sam pause. Because that would be really funny. And Cass would almost certainly be down for it; she wasn’t as loud or attention seeking as any of the boys, but Sam could recognize the wicked gleam in anyones’ eyes when they enjoyed the chaos.

Then she sighed.

“No, we have to be good for the next gala. Otherwise no one’s going to listen to what I actually have to say.”

Val hummed an agreement, guiding her to sit on the plush, well loved cushions. It was an old couch, and a hand-me-down from Sam’s work, but it was just too good to pass up. They could both lie comfortably side by side on the seat, if they snuggled just a little, and the back was wide and plush enough for two throws.

“Okay. The gala after that, then. It’ll make our slow burn long distance romance all the more compelling,” she added when Sam snorted, finally releasing Sam to sink comfortably into oblivion.

Sam swatted at her and put her tea down on the table.

“You’re dreadful. I love you. We’ll ask Cass, lemme just get my phone and I’ll hook you into the group chat with her, Steph, and Babs. They’re Wayne family friends,” she added at Val’s questioning noise, “I haven’t met Babs yet, but Steph is great. You’re gonna love her.”

“Only if we’re going for some three’s company action,” Val snickered as Sam jogged to the bedroom, flipping her girlfriend off as she went.

**

Jason was quiet as they left the Zone. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, especially after the day he’d had and the emotional whiplash.

Danny was doing his very best not to let it bother him. He remembered the early days of being a halfa, how much he’d second-guessed himself, how much every new change and discovery had rocked his world. And he’d been a teenager, all hormones and fire and energy.

He hadn’t even been dead a month before shit got weird.

Jason was twenty-two, and had already been dead for almost seven years. Danny’d like to think he’d found ways to cope, but seven years in himself he was pretty sure he still hadn’t.

Whatever Jason had dealt with in those six and a half years was being ripped up in front of him day by day.

If there was anything he wanted, anything he needed, Danny would be there for him in a heartbeat. Before he could even have to ask, if possible. Aaaand the only thing he couldn’t do that for was if Jason needed space.

Lady Gotham had been able to open them a portal directly into Jason’s apartment; Danny preferred to aim high enough to miss walls and buildings on the way back, but it was her city. She knew exactly where everything and anything was - the portal had been in the back of Jason’s front door.

Danny totally wasn’t jealous. He could come back out almost at the same place he’d gone in, if he was quick. And he could go intangible anyway.

It was still really cool to watch the city spirit do it, the way the realms opened easily and willingly at her touch. She’d given Jason a token, a coin that had to be at least six hundred years old that showed the city’s skyline. Apparently he could use it to get in touch with her, or get back to the Zone on his own if Danny couldn’t take him.

Danny was fine with that. For sure.

The Infinite Realms were dangerous, but the token should bring him straight to Lady Gotham, in an emergency. And then Danny could follow and find her, and find Jason. It was a super reasonable backup plan.

He still found himself hovering in the doorway, unsure if Jason wanted him to stay or go while the other man shrugged out of his coat, boots, and shoulder holster that Danny had totally missed this entire time. And then walked directly into the bathroom.

Danny hovered a little closer, entirely unknowing what exactly he’d do if Jason was crying. Or screaming. Or beating a hole in the wall away from prying eyes. Or, actually using the bathroom for its intended purpose, apparently.

Because Danny forgot Jason was still in mandatory human form at all times.

He couldn’t hear anything from inside the bathroom with the door shut anyway, not even movement or the sink running. But then again, Jason’s family knew Superman personally. That probably lead to some inside jokes and really specific precautions.

Danny hovered back to the door. Stared around at the incredibly clean, well organized display of video games and weaponry on the walls, the double shelf of books.

This, he was beginning to suspect, was a third, larger, more expensive apartment. The furniture and room layouts were about the same, but he was like 80% sure the apartment they’d played MarioKart in hadn’t had as much stuff.

This one had some dishes waiting by the sink though. Given how well organized everything else was, they stuck out.

…

Five minutes. Jason was still in the bathroom.

Danny hated waiting. If he was going to stick around, he could justify it by helping out. He rolled up his sleeves and got to work.

———————

Part two imminent! All my love to the tag list, you’ll be following the link on this one so you don’t get both separately

Part 2:

Tag list: @welcometosasakiworld @someonebored0100 @stealingyourbones @starkcravingmad @frostedthroughghost @akikkobara @rainbowbunny0159 @littlefeather345 @violet-catsarelife @serasvictoria02 @wolfjackle @blacksea21090 @secretdestinywerewolf @anime-hipster-the-amazing @undead-essence @skitscratched @blackroserelina @snoodly-boop p @mayoota-blog @xysidhe e @little-apricot-the-writer @chaoticmistake @the-legal-shipper r @bun-fish @aroranorth-west  @demon-cat-goes-woof @perfectwastelandcreation @onyxlightdragon @larks-and-katydids @peachesandcreamfemboy @jesus-camp-the-sequel @may-rbi @mothman-the-mothman87 @viyatrix @stargirl1331 @idfk-man10 @thedepressedrobin @skulld3mort-1fan @rootsmudge @ravenshadow17 @cankoking g @phantom-dc @mentalcarebear @magic-pincushion @redamancyardor r @lyra689 @itsparadoxlacuna @alcorbearson @asphyxia778 8 @why-must-i-be-like-this @tkiesai @greenpyrowolf f @frivolous-pastel

[fuckyeahaudiodrama]

☀️JUNE LISTENS☀️

i still don’t have a brain! ah!!!! but i do have ears for listening! i actually listened to a lot of stuff that i ended up not liking as much, last month, but i still have plenty to rec.

Remnants — (ep1-2 early access) a dark fantasy mystery anthology. hard to describe without giving anything away. i love everything by Hanging Sloth (creator of SBR, NQD and Clockwork Bird), so i knew that i was very likely to enjoy this regardless of the premise… but my god, absolutely surreal vibes. the sound design is breathtaking! feeling very grateful to be a HS patron right now. keep an eye out for this one coming 15th july! subscribe now and don’t miss it.

Mockery Manor — (3 seasons, 37 eps + miniseries, between seasons) a murder mystery set at a theme park with a comedic twist. i didn’t think this was going to be my thing and i was so wrong. the protags are twin sisters with plenty of baggage between them. their shenanigans and banter keep the tone light even when the plot takes dark turns. looking forward to s4!

Limelight: The Specialist — (5 eps, complete) self-described as a “dark medical thriller” set in rural wales. Limelight series are generally good but satisfying endings are hit or miss; this one was VERY well-paced, with a satisfying payoff, and gave me hope for a series 2 in future. i loved the execution of the gruesome mystery and i loved the protagonist to pieces.

Close Your Eyes — (1 season, 9 eps, s2 in production) having recently listened to RQ’s Neon Inkwell: The Pit Below Paradise, which also centers around cult dynamics, i found this to be a very fun contrast. here we see how someone can be immersed and isolated by a cult, regardless of their personal skepticism or strength of will. the suspense was so delicious i had to listen to all nine episodes in a row. ends on an incredible cliffhanger — can’t WAIT for season 2.

The Silt Verses — (44 eps, finale soon) a grim religious fantasy dystopia. some of the most intricate and fascinating worldbuilding i’ve ever seen. huge cast. i know that everyone in the AD space has rec’d this pod a hundred times over, but i can’t stress enough how it’s one of my very favorite stories in the medium. the penultimate ep left off on an absolutely deranged note and i have no idea what’s coming! so exciting, if you’ve been waiting to check this one out — now might be the time!

Dice Shame — (2 seasons, 200+ eps, ongoing) classic dnd actual play ft. Harlan Guthrie of Malevolent fame, and his equally charismatic friends and family. i don’t listen to a lot of APs bc i have trouble focusing on such long episodes but i just love the chemistry of this party. slapping it on the rec list bc the current storyline has me hooked!!

Bridgewater — (1 season, 22 eps, ???) supernatural mystery, notably starring Misha Collins as the protagonist. this one has a lot of complicated family dynamics read: mommy AND daddy issues. the length of the series is just enough to let you spawn several of your own theories, which is fun, and i was really pleased that i was able to predict the true conflict and identify the antagonist. excellent use of foreshadowing etc, biggest props to Lauren Shippen of The Bright Sessions fame.

Consumed — (12 episodes) small town horror/mystery through the eyes of a stranded newcomer. this one did NOT go where i expected it to, because i started it before i listened to Bridgewater; they’re set in the same universe, so the same worldbuilding applies. i would honestly recommend listening to this one FIRST because if you do listen to the end of Bridgewater, it will kind of spoil the twist in Consumed.

The Penumbra Podcast — (5 seasons, 2 storylines, both ending this summer) still barreling toward the finish line for both Second Citadel and Juno Steel. as a patron, i was notified of early release for the SC finale this morning, which i know is gonna wreck me. just wanted to feature this because i don’t see it recced as often anymore and that’s a fucking crime. one of my top AD recs for sure.

Red Valley — (While You Were Hypersleeping 3) three ep miniseries featuring our main best boy, warren, who has been notably absent from most of this season! so nice to hear from him and to get a glimpse of what might be coming in the next part of the season.

Observable Radio — (11 eps, ongoing) my favorite recent sci-fi/horror anthology by far, tied up in a terrifically dreadful meta narrative. afaik this is a limited series but i’m really savoring each and every episode; the most recent, “Earworm”, was one of my favorites. very dark and dystopian. mind the content warnings!

The Network Defenders — (ep1) the debut of a new Planet Arcana miniseries, featuring some new voices and a fresh new tarot-based system (crowdfunding this year!) has all of the appeal of PA in terms of prod. quality, vibes and emotional depth, just new mechanics. 2nd ep is out now so i’m hopping right on that as i post this!

Waterlogged — (ep1) a new indie horror that i’ve been waiting to drop for a while now, and i really enjoyed the soft-spoken eerie vibe of the pilot. there’s a couple more things in the feed now so i’ll have to go catch up.

[jkslipppiercing]

Bumblebee 03 | jjk

• summary: Jeon Jungkook was your high school bully. What are you gonna do when your parents are forcing you to marry him as the country's most well-known CEO?

• genre: enemies to lovers, slowburn, high school bully to lover, arranged marriage, CEO/billionare romance, marraige of convenience.

• pairing: ceo!jk x reader, high school bully!jk, asshole!jk.

• warnings: cursing, kinda infidelity (?), close proximity, "my wife" moment lol

• WC: 4k

• taglist

• index

• previous/next

Cold. You feel cold.

You wake up to an empty bed, staring groggily at the ajar space beside you. Oh. So he left.

You check your phone, eager to know what time it is; 8:03 AM.

So he must've left for work. You should talk to him as soon as possible, concerning what happened yesterday. Not only are you curious to know what caused Jungkook such a nightmare, but you're also worried about his well-being. You want him to be okay, of course.

Knowing he should be at his agency by now, considering it's an early Monday morning with an agency he has to manage, you get off the bed and head to the bathroom. You freshen up, then put on a simple work attire of a white button-up shirt and navy blue skirt. The shirt hugs your breasts comfortably, while the skirt adds a touch to your curves, making you look professional, but elegant. You throw on a pair of white heels, and head for the door.

Jungkook already explained that he’s had a private chauffeur that chaperones him wherever he goes. With you now being a part of his life, his chauffeur will now be under your command as he will go about driving his own car. With that being said, you send a quick text to Mr. cha, the chauffeur, and ask him to meet you by the gates. He arrives at the mansion’s entrance before you, accompanying you to the car by the gates.

Shortly after, you both start heading to Jeon Modeling Agencies.

●●●

Holy shit. It’s massive.

It’s your first ever time visiting Jungkook’s company. You’ve never come here, never having a reason to, and so you stare up at the building feeling intimidated. He manages to keep ahold of this all by himself? That’s incredibly impressive. Props to Jeon Jungkook.

You thank Mr. cha as you smile at him; “Thank you, Mr. Cha. I will make sure to shoot you a quick text when I need a ride back home.” He nods his head in acknowledgement then bows, motioning for you to go about your day. You do just that, entering the building then heading straight to the reception desk.

She smiles kindly at you, “Good morning! How may I assist you today?” You return the smile right back at her. “I need to speak to Mr. Jeon.” Her eyes go wide.

“Mr. Jeon? The CEO?” She stares at you in confusion. So what?

“Yes, the CEO. May I ask the reason why you’re so surprised?” You look at her expectantly waiting for a reasonable answer.

“O-oh, well, don’t worry about it.” She plays with her fingers nervously. “If you continue straight in that direction, there’d be an elevator which you can use to go up to the 15th floor. From there, head to the right towards Mr. Jeon's secretary's desk, and you can take it on from there.” She continues to fiddle with her hands, her earlier bubbly personality long gone.

“Well…thank you.” You awkwardly throw a lop-sided smile her way as you carry on with the directions she instructed you with. You use the elevator, arriving at the 15th floor as you take a right and beeline toward the secretary’s desk.

She types away at the computer in front of her, not sparing you a glance. “Um, excuse me?” You clear your throat, expecting her to throw as much as a glance your way. She doesn’t, her eyes staying fixated on the screen as she speaks, “How may I help you?” She mumbles, a cold tone seeping through her smooth voice.

“I came here to speak to Mr. Jeon.” You place a hand on your hip, dissatisfaction evident on your features. She should show a bit of respect, at least.

“Pffft.” Her snort takes you off-guard as she finally looks up from the screen and at you, laughing right in your face. “And what makes you think someone like you is allowed into his office?” She mocks. “Only high-class people from CEOs to business associates are allowed to speak to Mr. Jeon. Visits you should be making are to the hair salon.” She smirks. What the fuck? Who the fuck does this bitch think she is?

Just when you open your mouth to retaliate, the giant wooden door beside you opens. You hear a deep, ice cold voice that cuts through the air like a knife. “Yoona, you’re fired.” Jungkook speaks, his eyes never once leaving you as he directs his words to his secretary.

Yoona’s eyes widen. “W-what?” She fumbles.

“Did I stutter?” His eyes now look at her, void of emotion. “Pack your bags and leave. I expect to never see you step foot into this building ever again. Understood?” He raises an eyebrow when Yoona takes longer to respond. He speaks again, more strictly this time.

“The last thing I need is a crude secretary who thinks she’s important enough to disrespect my future wife.”

His eyes stray to yours as he feels you staring at him, expression beyond stunned.

Yoona stays quiet as she begins packing her stuff. In the meantime, Jungkook places his hands on your waist and pulls you to him. Losing your balance almost causes you to bump your head on his chin, as he raises a hand to your face, only to pinch your chin between his thumb and index finger. He inches closer to your ear, huskily whispering: “Why are you here, bumblebee?” Your ears go red when you see Yoona freeze from the corner of your eye. At this angle, Jungkook looks like he’s kissing your neck rather than whispering something to you. You push yourself away from him as you look him in the eye, your words laced with an implication aimed at Yoona to understand. “I think we should take this to the office, Mr. Jeon.” He smirks as he pulls your wrist, entering the office and closing the door behind him.

Outside, Yoona stays rooted to her spot as she fumbles to reach into her purse and pull out her phone, hastily sending a text to her colleagues’ groupchat, asking them to meet up. She claims to have an important matter to discuss about the young and single hot-shot CEO, not being so single anymore.

“May I know what the fuck you are doing here, Y/N?” Jungkook’s harsh tone catches you off guard. You came to check on him…after last night. Is that so bad?

“I just thought I’d drop by, see how work is going…” You hesitate. Maybe Jungkook doesn’t remember what happened, and you both will just carry on living like nothing did happen.

You start walking around his office, admiring the abstract art of naked women he has hung on his walls. One of them is an envision of a women that shows off an incredible burst of confidence- which shows from the way she’s spreading on the canvas, and the way she’s painted- yet, she has no face. Over her features are scribbles of black ink. Almost like confidence is an empowerment of freedom. She’s not trapped in a body or an identity. She’s free.

You begin tracing the painting with your fingertips, Jungkook’s voice startling you yet again.

“Why are you here, Y/N?” This time, the tone of his voice slices through the air, piercing through your ears and aiming straight for your conscience. He doesn’t want you here.

Your eyes narrow, brows scrunching in irritation. You still have your back to him, eyes on the painting as you speak. “Why do you care?” Your tone is just as irritated as his, mirroring the annoyance.

“Go home. I don't want you here.” You turn around in time to see him lean on his desk, hands gripping the wood on either side of him as his knuckles turn white. He grips the edges tighter when he sees you scoff. You take slow steps toward him, your heels clicking against the cold marble floor.

“And who are you, Mr. Jeon, to tell me what to do,” You’ve now stopped in front of him, planting yourself so close to his body that your nose almost nudges his. He breathes heavily, his eyes boring into yours, speaking louder than they’d ever have when looking at you.

“You must be so delusional…to tell me what I can and can’t do.” You whisper with such demise- you don’t recognize your voice.

Jungkook’s jaw clenches as a muscle ticks. His eyes trail to the painting you were earlier staring at, his focus straying from you to it. You notice, so you lean closer to him, just as you grab the area between his jaw and neck, your thumb resting on his cheek. You turn his face enough that he’s looking at you again. “I do whatever I fucking want to, Mr. Jeon.” Your voice sounds from in between your lips in a mere whisper.

You raise the other hand to plant on the other side of his neck, the other still resting on part of his jaw. You look like you’re cradling his head is a way that makes him look so fragile, as you lean your head forward. “I know you’re not mad at me.” You speak , your voice sounding just above a whisper. He mirrors the action, your foreheads now resting against one another. Both your eyes are sealed shut, your breaths mingling there in the silence.

Your hands snake around his head and into his hair, massaging his scalp and combing through the tousled strands. A low hum sounds from him, voicing his thanks. You know why he’s acting this way. He’s stressed. He fears you’re going to run away now that you've seen what happened the night before. Underneath the angry exterior is just a lonely Jungkook in need of some love. And you’re going to give it to him. But for now, you need to understand his perspective.

You struggle to find your voice. “Talk to me, Jungkook.” His head unbinds from yours as he lifts it to looks at you. Gone is the cold hearted Jungkook, and in his stead is a vulnerable one. His eyes plead with a silent question, and you smile in a soft understanding.

“Tonight?” He asks.

“Tonight.” You confirm

Tonight is the night where no secrets are left to keep.

●●●

10:00 PM, on the dot…still no Jungkook.

Tictoc, tictoc, tictoc.

The ticking of the clock taunts you. This is torture, considering you’ve been waiting for four hours. You’ve never had to wait this long for anything.

After you left the Agency, you thought you and Jungkook had already agreed to meet back at home at about 6:00 PM. He promised you, claiming he’s going to explain everything. Everything, as in, his family background. You agreed, arriving home to prepare for the night. You had decorated the dining table with all sorts of appetizers and main-dishes; you loved to cook. You put on a comfortable, yet classy red dress, feeling like you should be ready for whatever was going to happen.

You had planned everything out, only for Jungkook to come back home at midnight, smelling like another woman.

You’d been fast asleep by then, the food left untouched.

●●●

Jungkook’s POV

He unlocks the front door with ease, the warm and fresh scent of roses welcoming him. You must’ve lit a candle, it smells hella good in here.

He never lit candles around his house. He never had miniature statues resting on his shoe rack. He never had cute little notes and reminders scattered around his house in the most random places. Yet it’s all because of you.

As he enters further into the abode, another sight welcomes him. It’s you, hunched over the dining table while you sleep peacefully, in front of you situated are multiple plates filled with all types of food. You must’ve cooked for him. Jungkook feels a tinge of guilt pinch at his insides. He shouldn’t have been fucking around at a gentlemen's club all the while you were cooking for him. And waiting for him. You waited. He knows that because he saw the multiple messages you had texted him with your phone, at the moment bunched up in your hand. It seems like you fell asleep while scrolling on social media, refusing to succumb to your exhaustion. You were always stubborn, so you fell asleep trying your best not to.

Jungkook’s guilt deepens, and an angry frown adorns his features. He’s angry at himself. Angry at himself for acting like such an asshole. He was always one, but this is just next-level-shit.

He heads into his room, changes out of the clothes that he feels oh-so-disgusting in. He feels like shit, probably because he’s acting like one. He really done went to a strip club while you put all of this effort into doing something for him. To listen to him. And he kept you waiting. He will never think of himself the same way again.

But Jungkook isn’t used to this. He isn’t used to thinking about a girl this much. Usually, he would just fuck a woman to satisfy his needs and get rid of her the next day. Although he feels like he truly needs to fuck the shit out of you seven days a week, he also cares for you. He thinks about you all day, what you’re doing, if you’ve eaten, if you slept well. That's why he needs you beside him all the time, so he has a plan. He needs to get you to bed first, though.

A girl was all over him tonight at the club, despite him showing no visible interest in her. He was thinking about you the whole time, but he’s a coward. He isn’t ready to tell you all about his life yet; what he’s feeling. He’s scared, wants to live like nothing’s wrong for a bit more. So to avoid the so-called “talk” you were planning to have with him, he went to a random club to get drunk and forget.

He did, essentially, get drunk, but it wasn’t enough to drown the voices in his head.

After putting a pair of sweats on- no shirt because he’s all hot and bothered- he heads back to where you were to find you awake. You have an adorable pout on your lips, your face is all puffy, and Jungkook struggles to keep his expression neutral. You’re so cute.

“You’re here?” You ask with a slight tilt of your head. He nods and walks to you carefully. Only then does he notice the empty bottle of wine on the table. You were hunched over it, hiding it from you. He wants to burry himself in the deepest, darkest pits of the earth if he’s the reason you got drunk.

“Let’s get you to bed, sweetheart.” His voice is merely above a whisper as he goes to pick you up from the chair.

“No.” Your response comes out strict. He stays rooted to his spot, waiting for what you’re about to say. “We need to talk.” You mumble. You’re not drunk enough to blackout, but the exhaustion mixed with the groggy state caused by alcohol is enough to get you drowsy.

“We will. Tomorrow.” He poorly attempts a reassuring smile, failing miserably, but of course: you don’t notice.

“Where were you, Jungkook? Why didn’t you reply back to me? I was worried sick.” He freezes at your irritated tone. You’re mad…well, obviously, you have the right to be. He acted like such a dick. He knows that.

“I- I got caught up at work.” He actually checked out of the agency earlier than usual today, only to visit a strip club with a person he knew would understand him. He always called that person when he was in too deep in his thoughts and needed a quick break. He needed a break from everything- from you haunting the entirety of his thinking- and hitting taehyung up was the best solution.

He doesn’t mention that, though.

You’re unconvinced, and you make sure he gets the memo when you settle on an agitated frown on your lips. He finds the sight too cute for him to handle- it makes him feel even more guilt for lying to you- so he looks away.

He proceeds to you when he doesn’t hear your protests anymore, picking you up from the chair bridal style as you stifle a yawn. “I hate you…” You mumble again, balling your hand into a fist and putting all your might into the weak punch you muster to his chest. “I deserve that and much more, sweetheart.” He whispers under his breath, quiet enough for you not to hear.

Your head rests on his shoulder, your hands encircling around his neck a second later to find some sort of stability. He finds the position comfortable, and all he wants from the world is to sit down on the sofa in this exact position and fall asleep; but he’s too guilty for that, right now.

So he settles on plopping you on your side of the bed before he whispers to you, “Y/N…” Your eyes are half open, state drifting in and out of consciousness. You don’t succumb to sleep, though, you hum back a tired response.

“I’m going to change your clothes for you, okay?” He asks softly. He still expects you to say no, you’re still mad at him; but you’re not awake enough to acknowledge that. Not really focusing on his question, you mumble an incoherent response then nod your head and swat his shoulder. You giggle in the most drunk way possible, falling asleep the minute right after.

He stays careful, bundling your dress from your ankles all the way to your chest, taking it off through your head, cautious enough to not disturb you. Just after your dress is neatly hung in his closet- in the section he made for your clothes, as the walk-in closet is still under construction- he realizes something.

You’re not wearing a bra.

It was a silk dress, so he understands your preference. He’s not oblivious, knowing the outline of the bra would’ve taken away the essence of the dress. The purpose of the silk was to hang loosely around your breasts, giving them a flattering shape, overall making them look good. Had you actually worn the bra, it would’ve ruined the appearance of the effortless beauty of the dress.

Instead of being shocked or entranced by your boobs, he’s respectful about it.

He simply takes one of his favorite shirts and puts it on you, letting you sleep.

Soon after, he turns the lights off and lays on the bed with his back to you, giving way for his thoughts to consume him entirely.

●●●

Y/N’s POV

Your feet paddle against the floor as you make your way to the kitchen, wanting to grab a cup of coffee to gather your thoughts.

You woke up to an empty bed- as usual- with Tylenol and a cup of water on the nightstand, waiting for you to wake up. A painful headache attacked you as soon as you woke up, so you happily agreed to take the medication.

As you make your way to the kitchen area, aromas of deliciously cooked bacon and eggs welcome you. You follow the scent like a starving puppy, eyes wide and curious, and find yourself face with a breathtaking scene. Jungkook is shirtless, has an apron on, and is cooking the bacon while facing you. His muscles flex with each and every movement, from flipping the pan to fetching the seasonings on the counter, and you have never salivated harder over something. Or someone.

“You’re awake.” Jungkook’s dimple makes a grand appearance as he smiles at you. Your heart just melted.

You try your best to reciprocate the smile, but your mind is prickling at you. You waited for Jungkook yesterday, but he didn’t show. Why? You don’t remember anything after that. You do remember drinking an entire wine bottle because of how upset you were, though. You were never a drinker, you get drunk very easily; a lightweight.

“Jungkook…” He looks at you as he turns the stove off- deeming the food done and ready serve- and then takes the apron off. He stays in his grey sweatpants, serving the food on a single plate. He hums to you in question.

“Are you overworking yourself?”

Out of all the things you were about to say, Jungkook had expected you to question him about being late. Instead, you had asked if he was overworking himself, as if you weren’t suspicious if he wasn’t at work. You trusted him enough that you didn’t suspect anything else.

He was going to tell you everything today, even going to the strip club. But with you acting this way and being understanding about it, he’s afraid again. He doesn’t know what your reaction is going to be, but he knows that everything needs to be cleared out. He shouldn’t be immature.

“Y/N, I went to a gentlemen's club yesterday.” He just says it. Why hesitate? It’s only going to make things worse.

“What?” A single word escapes your lips, and he panics.

“A strip club.”

“Oh.”

There’s a silent beat occupying the space before you speak again.

“Were you trying to avoid us talking?” You're blank. Neutral. Expressionless. It scares him.

His eyes are wide, racing through all of the possibilities in his head of not telling you, but he goes on. “Yes.”

You still betray no emotion, blankly staring at Jungkook, who now sits opposite you on the table. He had set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of you before sitting down.

“Let me make one thing clear,” You speak with a smile on your face, but it’s fake. He can see right through you; you’re disguising your true feelings with fake ones.

He waits for you, “This is nothing but business, Mr. Jeon.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Jungkook’s anxiety spikes. Fuck.

“And what do you mean by that?” He knows exactly what you mean. He doesn't want to believe it.

“I mean,” You take a deep breath, “Our whole relationship is purely for convenience. It is only purposeful for business, and it will stay that way.” You speak cautiously, but making your point clear.

He almost flinches. You’re basically saying that you and Jungkook shouldn’t mix your personal feelings and lives with each other’s. You’re basically telling him, there’s no need for him to talk about his life because you don’t want to know anymore. Everything is just business. Ouch.

Jungkook feels a stab straight to his heart. He wanted to open up to you, he really did he just wasn’t ready for it yet. He didn’t want to feel betrayed, and that’s exactly what you are doing right now. He kept running away from facing reality solely because he didn’t want to ache anymore. He was tired of the pain he had to relive and re-experience every passing second of the day. Is it so hard to understand?

Gone is the vulnerable Jungkook, instead is the cold one. The distant CEO who doesn’t befriend anyone. The lonely twenty-seven year old who deals with everything on his own. It has always been this way, and it will always be. He should’ve known. He clung on to an invisible string of hope, only for it to snap in half before he had the chance to believe in it.

Jungkook’s face turns into one void of emotion. He wears a blank mask that covers the true identity of his feelings. Right now, he’s hurt. When he speaks again, he uses the same cold tone he uses when he’s being professional with someone, just like now. “Deal.” He offers his hand for a handshake, which you happily take.

He gets up and heads for the bathroom, turning around just in time to catch you staring; “Oh, and Y/N…” He pauses, making it look like he’s thinking about what he’s about to say, when in actuality, he's mocking you. Keeping you on your toes.

“Starting today, I’m your boss, and you’re my personal assistant.”

Challenge accepted, Jeon Jungkook.

next

@hoseokteardrop @nochuel @nays2112 @jksoftii @yu-justme @meadow-in-spring @bunnykoos @looneybleus @fushigurosdarling @alpha-mommy69 @junecat18 @xjiminsthighsx @tanniesdoll @winterbeartaehyungbestboy

[crazycoke-addict]

Island of the slaughtered victims analysis: Heather

At first I was going to analyse the victims in order of how they died but I just gonna randomised them so I am analysing the Queen B herself, Heather. So Heather is the 15th camper and the last person to die at the hands of the killer. Heather is dragged away from the group where she is begging for life, the killer not having any remorse cuts her head with a chainsaw. The killer acknowledging Heather’s beauty takes her head and puts it in the freezer. Later on, Gwen and Leshawna find the aftermath of Heather, Leshawna finds her body while Gwen finds her head.

Heather being the last one to die is a reference to how she was last camper to be eliminated just like how Ezekiel was the first to die and the first to be eliminated. While looking into Heather’s death I noticed that she had one of the few who had quick death while everyone had to suffer through. Courtney's legs were broken and was beaten to death, Noah was stabbed, strangled and drowned, Bridgette was burn alive, Tyler's neck was stretch, Sadie was eaten by wolves, Geoff was sewed on Owen while Owen was alive. But Heather’s death was quick, her head was cut-off.

Her having a death is similar to how her downfall is humiliation rather than brutal unlike Alejandro and Scott, but she also had to suffered in way by doing all the dares until the last dare where she had to get her head shaved by chef which was orchestrated by Lindsay. Heather refused by kicking the clipper away but it ends up flying towards her and shaving her head back. Heather’s downfall was her vanity meanwhile Alejandro was burnt by lava while Scott was injured by Zoey's trap than later got mauled by a mutant shark.

Her head getting cut off is very telling since that were the brain is located and Heather is the most strategical intelligent character in the game. She has caused the most eliminations, her teams win the most challenges and she managed to get to finals 2 times and even won a season. In my assumptions, I believe that Heather would be most realistic pretty much has realise earlier when Chris left them than their fate has been sealed. So it is interesting of her to be begging for her life when she herself would know it happened however it's very different when death is staring right at you.

Because Heather is seen as the bitchy mean chick, her being a spirit is basically telling Chris that you not only fucked up but also you shouldn't have come back. Heather is possibly the most dangerous that she uses her long hair to suffocate you. Her head being located in the freezer is a nod back to when she gets locked in by her teammates in If You Can't take the Heat but I also noticed that Heather has used the kitchen in challenges three times. The cooking challenge, she used the kitchen as a hidden place when they were hunt down by chef and her key was located in the fridge. It's like it was intentional for her head to be in the freezer that and her beauty doesn't decay.

Leshawna and Gwen being the one to find her head and body is reference to how Leshawna and Gwen are her main and mortal enemies. Her and Leshawna insult each other which results Leshawha to go into physical violence. Heather find ways to humiliate Gwen on live television like reading out her diary or ripping her skirt where everyone sees her underwear, however Gwen does get back at her by dropping Harold's red ant farm on her and using her freebies which results Heather to do the dares.

[rygoespop]

KOF XV: Aftermath

So, with the reveal of Vice and Mature in KOF XV recently at EVO, and with Terry set to be in Street Fighter 6 this year in Autumn, and with City of The Wolves coming out next year, I made this fun story, so enjoy

Scene opens at the KOF Tournament, as the flame gone off, signaling that the 15th Tournament came to an end with the reveal of Vice and Mature

Announcer: Well, that was an incredible Fifteenth Tournament, we hope we will see you again!

Scene cuts to all the KOF XV Characters all chatting of what’s next

Hinako: Please Ms. Jenet, take me under your wing

B. Jenet: I wish I could, but my schedule is tied, sorry Hinako

Hinako: Oh ok, I understand *she heads off to chat with Shingo*

Soon, Terry along with Rock and King of Dinosaurs all came up to B. Jenet

Rock: Hey Jenet

B. Jenet: Hey Rocky! Oh, hey Terry and Dinosaur

Terry: Hey, since the recent tournament is done, it’s time we get ready, we got another chapter ahead of us

King of Dinosaurs: Yes! I’m so happy to get to bring back my old Tizoc costume! *he brings out a chest, opens it and reveal his old Tizoc costume*

Rock: So, that’s your old mask

King of Dinosaurs: Yep, and I haven’t worn it in 19 Years! I can’t wait to wear it again!

Terry: Ok! Now we need to connect Marco Rodrigues and-

Suddenly, as Terry can finish, a beeping sound has gone off

Haohmaru: Huh? What could it be Terry?

Andy: What’s wrong brother?

Terry: It’s my Pager *he takes his Pager out*

Blue Mary: Pager?

Terry: It’s a gift from a certain friend! *he plays the Pager’s message*

Ken: Terry! Metro City needs your help, it’s Bison, and he’s back!

The message ends

Rock: Terry, who was that?

Terry: That was Ken Masters, and he needs my help! *he hurries off to the docks in Tokyo*

Andy: Terry! Where are you going?!

Terry: Off on a mission, to Metro City!

All the fighters cheer for Terry, all except for Mai as she is determined not to be left out again

Mai: Oh no you don’t! *gives chase*

Andy: Mai! What are you doing?!

Mai: Sorry my lovely Andy, but I’m not gonna get left out again!

Yuri: Come back!

Terry arrived at the docks and there was a ship that goes to Metro City, and Terry quickly got on board

Terry: Hold on Ken! I’m coming!

As the ship left with Terry on board, Mai caught up on another ship, unaware that the ship she is on, goes to Africa

Mai: Not on my watch you wolf!

Meanwhile, at Metro City, it was taken over by the newly resurrected Shadaloo, with M. Bison back in full recovery in his old suit, now with his 3 subordinates (JP, AKI, and Ed) by his side, as they capture all the Street Fighters (Ryu, Ken, Guile, Chun Li, Cammy, E. Honda, Dhalsim, Dee Jay, Blanka, Zangief, Juri, Rashid, Luke, Jamie, Kimberly, Manon, Marisa, and Lily) and have them imprisoned

M. Bison: Heh heh heh! Oh this is a grand day, the day where Shadaloo has fully been revived, soon all you Street Fighters, will be interrogated by us

Dee Jay: Hey mon! You are Cuckoo cuckoo crazy!

M. Bison: *glares at Dee Jay* Oh, you think I’m crazy? Hmph, amateur

Dhalsim: Dee Jay, I wouldn’t recommend you angering him

Juri: *furious* When I get out Bison, I will have your eyes!

M. Bison: Tempting

JP: Lord Bison, shall we proceed for the demise of these Street Fighters?

M. Bison: Don’t be hasty, we’ll keep them in their prison until the time comes

Ed: Until then you Street Fighters

AKI: Sweet dreams, and share your final moments

The 4 members of Shadaloo cackle as they left

Guile: *Enraged as he pounds on the iron bars* BISON!!!

Ryu: It’s no use, despite everything we could to stop Bison, he has overpowered us.. Not even Akuma could stop him

Cammy: This really is the end..

Luke: Speaking of which Ryu, why didn’t Bison capture Akuma?

Ryu; Akuma is too strong to be captured, so he’s currently on the run, fighting against Shadaloo

Jamie: Well, this sucks! We can’t escape!

Ken: Well, don’t count on it yet

Jamie: Huh?

Marisa: What are you saying Ken?

Ken: Let’s say, I was able to contact an old friend to save us

Ryu: Who?

Ken: *smiled with confidence to Ryu* A friend, who is the Legendary Wolf

Scene cuts to Bison in his Throne Room

M. Bison: Now who is gonna stop us!

Scene now shows the ship arriving at Metro City, with Terry on board

Terry: Hold on guys, I’m coming!

Scene cuts to black, as Terry begins his battle with Bison

But what happened with Mai?

When the other ship arrived in Africa, Mai was dismayed, she arrived in Africa

Mai: This isn’t a city, but how did I end up here?

Scene shows Elena, who is observing Mai, as the scene cuts to black

Elena: Greetings new friend

Thus concludes this story

[goodbyeapathy8]

Had another divorce hearing this morning (at this point, 3+ years into the damn process, I've had close to 20 hearings… which is just… yeah.)

The good ish news is, the ex didn't show up again. It's good because every time he does show up, I inevitably have nightmares after seeing his ugly (and abusive) mug. The bad news is, it's a cruel form of hope because it makes me think he won't show up the next time and then he does.

Today was my first time self representing and it gave me a ton of anxiety the past few days. Well, that and the whole fundraising efforts for April rent and bills. I haven't gotten much sleep, maybe a couple hours here and there.

It was a trial setting conference, basically a hearing to decide if the parties are ready or not for moving forward and it's the only reason I was even semi okay with self rep. I now need to work on finding a pro bono lawyer that's gonna help with the last (hopefully) bit of this cursed divorce… I'm not looking forward to that process because I have very little hope I'll find someone good. Not with the luck I've had.

However, it's a different judge than the one that was seemingly empathetic to the ex. It's also the one who will be making the final decision, which is set for September 6th. I have until mid August to file the last papers so there's still a few months of pro bono lawyer searching… Blegh.

The worst part about today was having to listen to other cases (as you do for these goddamn hearings). There was one that triggered me deeply and it made me angry that that person was verbal vomiting and being selfish. I know more than anyone else how frustrating it is but I also think it's selfish to subject other people to your traumas because YOU need to be heard, over what the judge was saying as well (that this is not the time and place).

So yeah. I'll be decompressing the rest of the day and doing nothing because, as usual, it was stupidly stressful.

Last but not least, thanks a ton to everyone for sharing the mutual aid post as well as friends who have sent funds. I appreciate y'all greatly and it's helping me hang on to what little sanity I have left.

Also! Another way you can help (but it's a bit slow as TikTok does payouts on the 15th) - I made a mutual aid video that you can watch and help bring in views.

Login (if you have an account) and watch the video below for at least 5 seconds

You can rewatch the video and it'll count as a new view!

Better yet, just have the video muted and let it autoloop

Best practice : watch video all the way thru at least once, leave a long comment on the vid, save it, repost it on TikTok

(I'm part of the creator's fund and videos that go viral can bring in some cash. It's not a whole lot but it's a super easy way to help out that doesn't require sharing).

Mutual aid TikTok video here.

Also, please please do NOT spam like my other TikToks as that means my videos don't make it to the feed.

(What is spam liking? Clicking "like" for over 5+ videos in a row. It downgrades the account as suspicious, which means it lowers the priority of my videos and basically stops putting them on the FYP. Saving the video to your favorites doesn't cause harm tho, from what I understand.)

[generaltrashshecox]

Kinktober 2023 Day 25:

Human Furniture | Pregnancy | Edgeplay (Damien/Anthony)

A continuation of the Day 8's breeding story because I thought it'd be interesting! Hope you enjoy!

Edit: this one got away from me again and it's sorta cliche but oh well lol!

Anthony left after that day without a word and things went back to normal. Or as normal as they could be. Damien called his doctor after that and was scheduled a check up. It was two weeks after and he found out he was pregnant which he was near tears about holding his belly gently. What he didn't expect though was to be pregnant with twins and he couldn't stop his jaw from dropping when he found out. He blamed Anthony for being potent but he already loved the pups that were growing inside him. He announced it at work and everybody congratulated him while he and Anthony exchanged silent glances. Clinical with no feelings. No strings attached. Those words rattled around his head. But now it felt like a spiderweb that he couldn't get himself out of.

At 6 weeks he started to show. At 10 he was starting to get annoyed. Pregnancy wasn't anything he couldn't handle but it just made all his sensitivities even more sensitive which led him to be overstimulated more often than not. Everybody tried to help, Shayne especially being his best friend but he had his own omega to take care of. Him and Ian had barely come back from parental leave so they still had a lot on their plate but he definitely appreciated it. Even Anthony helped but he felt like it was just to show he wasn't an asshole ignoring a pregnant omega. He didn't notice the way his eyes lingered on the swell of his tummy.

At 14 weeks Anthony went into rut. Which he wouldn't have cared much about if he didn't call him in the middle of the night begging to come over.

Anthony knew his rut was coming, could feel the itch under his skin which is why he took the week off. When it hit he had a toy at the ready knotting it over and over but he seemed to be insatiable even for his rut. After the 15th knot of the day he decided that wasn't working and called one of his omega fuck buddies to come over. They agreed but told him he owed them for what he was gonna do to them and he grumbled in agreement. They made it to his place quickly letting themselves and when they did he was hit with their scent... Making him gag. It was too strong sickeningly sweet and he apologized and told them to leave. They cursed at him for making them waste time but he waved them off as they stomped back to their car.

After they left he tore through his house looking for all the omega scented things he had that he used for the occasion. Each and every one made him sick to his stomach and he started to wonder if something was truly wrong with him. As he was scouring through his shit he was finally met with a smell that didn't seem to assault his nasal passages. It was deliciously sweet almost earthy with a tinge of omegan heat but he couldn't remember the last time he- then it hit him. Tea with a hint of citrus... He followed the smell to an unpacked backpack. The one he'd had at Damien's house. He swallowed thickly as he opened it pulling out a shirt that hadn't been washed in months and reeked of heat. He brought it to his nose and moaned as the smell went straight to his dick.

Why? Why was Damien's smell the only one he could tolerate? He didn't know but in the moment he didn't care, feeling like he finally found some relief as his hand found its way back to his cock. He stroked himself nose buried in the shirt deeply inhaling getting almost lost in it. As he did he couldn't help but imagine him, the omega that was now round with his pups. He recalled how beautiful he was underneath him whining so prettily as he begged for more face flushed mouth hanging open. How he felt so good around his knot taking every inch and every load so wet and needing more... Remembered how he said he loved hi- he came with a grunt his inner alpha whining for their omega as he pulsed in his hand. He hushed the animal taking deep breaths to calm himself.

"He is not our omega," he said through gritted teeth. The alpha bristled. Then why is he pregnant with our pups? a thought chided him. He sighed worn out but already feeling the itch and the need thrum under his skin. "It's our job. He's no different," he said sternly but his heart stung at the words. When did that happen? He shook his head. "What's so special about him anyway?" Strong, independent omega. So sweet and nice and pretty. Perfect for us. Already giving us two pups. Anthony rolled his eyes.

"They're not ours!" he yelled exasperated. He must've been exhausted as he was practically arguing with himself. He sighed burying his head in his hands. He dragged himself off the floor and onto the bed taking the shirt with him. He was drained eyes closing before he could stop it.

Anthony woke back up to the itch, the deep seeded need to breed cock hard and leaking already. Still half asleep instincts took over nostrils smelling the most delicious omega scent as he mounted and pressed inside. He growled burying his face in the scent as he rutted into them roughly. His body ached as he fucked harder and harder teeth aching to bite to claim as he opened his mouth biting down on softness feeling the smell on his tongue and he came with a groan. He thrust a few more times before falling to the side. After a few deep breaths he finally came too and looked beside him and groaned. The shirt has somehow found its way onto a pillow that was now leaking downy from his bite mark and covered in cum.

"That was a nice pillow," he grumbled under his breath. Then another wave on need hit him and he growled. This was getting to be too much and he debated whether or not to call him...

Damien was still awake because of course he was. His insomnia had gotten worse and he laid in bed staring at the ceiling. He was rubbing his belly thinking about the future, wondering what his pups would look like. Would they have Anthony's features? He was worried they would, very much so as he was potent enough to get him pregnant with twins. How would he be able to explain if his pups had the same dark hair and eyes as his boss? He sighed rubbing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. As long as they were happy and healthy he would deal with the consequences later.

"I can't wait to meet you my loves," he whispered to his belly. His eyes started to droop finally tired enough to sleep when his phone rang. He ignored it needing rest and it finally went quiet... Before it rang again much to his annoyance. He sighed and checked it to see "Boss No. 2" and groaned. Why was he calling in the middle of the night? He answered begrudgingly.

"Hello?" he said slightly annoyed and there was a sigh of relief on the other line.

"Thank god Dames I need your help," he said almost desperately. Damien tried to ignore the flutter as he called him that nickname. He sighed.

"What do you need?" he asked deadpan. He was tired and he really didn't want to deal with this but he couldn't just ignore him... There was silence on the other line. "Hello?" he asked the quiet. He heard him gulp.

"I was wondering if uh... I could come over," he said softly. What? Damien swallowed.

"Uh... Why?" More silence, save for breathing, before he cleared his throat.

"I uh... I'm in rut. And the only smell I can tolerate is yours and I can't stop thinking about you," he said. It hit him like a wave cascading down his body. His inner omega screamed wanting their alpha to come to please take care of them but he pushed that down. His heart was also begging and so was his body remembering how good he felt already starting to slick. Damn hormones- he shook his head.

"I-" he paused trying to collect himself. "I don't know," he whispered into the line.

"Please? I need you," he said and Damien felt weak. He was pregnant, tired, and now horny. He felt like he would regret this but he couldn't help himself.

"Okay," he found himself saying. No turning back now.

"Thank you thank you," he said gratefully. "I'll be over in a few okay?" He nodded before realizing he couldn't see.

"Alright," he said softly. Click. Now he waited as he cradled his belly hoping he wouldn't regret it too much.

Once Anthony got the okay to come over he sped over there as fast as he could. It wasn't long until he was parking in the spot in front of his apartment. He practically jumped out of the car body thrumming with need. He walked up to his place and knocked on the door. He heard rustling and Damien finally opened the door revealing himself and his breath caught in his throat. His scent hit him first igniting the need even more but the way he looked... Practically glowing in a simple robe bump showing just a bit. He was a beautiful omega.

"Uh- come in please," he said gently and Anthony was snapped out of his thoughts as his legs automatically carried him inside. The door closed behind him and Damien fidgeted nervously. His smell was strong and heady and already making his mind a little mushy but he tried to stay strong even as he started to slick from just the proximity. He could smell it sweet and intoxicating, brain starting to go into autopilot around him. He walked up to him putting his hands on his stomach stroking it gently before moving to his waist pulling him closer as he gasped. He bent and buried his face in his neck deeply inhaling his scent and the grip on his waist tightened.

"Omega," he growled in his alpha voice and Damien couldn't help but shudder inner omega screaming to submit. And so he did tired and tired of being alone baring his neck even more to him.

"Alpha," he replied back. Anthony grunted at that before scenting him rubbing his neck against him. He pulled away and pressed his lips to his kissing him softly and he couldn't help but kiss back. The hands on his waist went lower grabbing his ass and bringing him closer making him whine into the kiss. They snuck back around snaking under his robe surprised to find bare skin underneath as he pulled away. He looked at him questioningly.

"Just thought I'd make things easier," Damien said face flushed and he groaned.

"Such a clever little omega," he said before kissing him again just a bit harsher. He wrapped his arms around his neck, hands burying in his curls once more as he melted into it. He felt those hands hold him gently before running down to his thighs lifting him gently. He pulled away nervously.

"Wait I'm too- you can't-" he stuttered not knowing what to say mind racing. Anthony hushed him.

"I've got you," he said simply carrying him to the bedroom. Damien just buried his face in his neck. He laid him down on the bed gently undoing the string that kept the robe together letting it fall to either side of him. He was gorgeous almost like a painting all pale soft skin flushed pink and practically glowing as the swell of his stomach was prominent. The alpha purred at that at how strong their pups were growing as he nuzzled into his tummy pressing kisses there.

Such a good alpha, the omega said and Damien just tried to breathe. Anthony finally pulled away looking at the slick between his thighs and he pulled them apart staring at him hungrily. He remembered the taste on his tongue and he leaned down lapping at it again groaning as it was better than he even remembered even more intoxicating.

Damien groaned as he pressed his tongue inside practically thrusting down onto it already so sensitive. It'd been awhile since he'd even felt the urge to touch himself but now he felt like his nerves were on fire for it. Maybe it was because of the rut messing with his brain or maybe he just wanted Anthony... He pushed that out of his head as he gripped the back of his head.

"Anthony please," he moaned tugging at his hair. His mouth was amazing but he just wanted his knot, wanted to get this over with as soon as possible so he could already deal with the consequences of letting him back into his bed. He pressed in one last time before pulling out and nipping at his thigh.

"What do you need, sweetheart?" Anthony asked softly though his body was begging to fuck the omega already.

"Your knot please I know you need it too," Damien said heatedly. He wasn't wrong his cock was throbbing with the need to be inside him already. He sat up pushing down his pants stroking himself over him. He stared wide-eyed at it forgetting how big he was trying to keep his breathing even. He could smell the hint of fear from him and he stroked his thigh.

"Don't worry. We'll be gentle," he said as he started to line himself up. He pressed the head of his cock against his entrance feeling how sopping wet he was from his tongue and his own arousal. He pressed in slowly carefully letting him adjust as he needed. It was almost torture as he was so tight and wet he wanted to fuck into him roughly but his thoughts reminded him of the pups that were growing inside of him. Anthony couldn't help himself though when he was close to the end and just pressed it all inside at once.

"Fuck!" Damien cried out feeling so full so good. He felt that he was already close as Anthony stretched him open hitting all the right spots it was almost embarrassing. He blamed it on hormones and not being able to get off in awhile because as soon as Anthony pulled out slightly and thrust back in he was cumming hard. It was so intense he shook with it as he covered his face with his hand while Anthony cooed.

"Was my omega pent up?" he asked and Damien tried not to preen at being called his figuring it was just rut talk. He was so much wetter now as he pressed into him again and again feeling as it dripped down his balls. "You were weren't you? Don't worry, alpha will take care of you now," he said and he thrust just a bit harsher. He moaned already starting to get hard again, refractory period nonexistent due to his rut mixing with his hormones and he pressed against his thrusts.

"Harder," he whined and Anthony looked at him concerned. "I won't break and the pups will be fine just please," he begged and he couldn't say no. He pulled out and slammed back into him hands flying to grip at his shoulders nails digging in. "Yess," he hissed throwing his head back against the bed exposing his neck and Anthony leaned down to kiss his open throat. He fucked into him over and over as one hand gripped his hip and the other went to his swollen and sensitive chest pinching and pulling at his nipples making him overwhelmed. His scent was invading his nostrils making him dizzy as he continued to kiss and nip at his neck.

"Look at you pretty omega already round with my pups. Want to give you more so many more," he said as his tongue laved over his scent gland. Damien shuddered at that head feeling fuzzy thinking that sounded amazing... Then he felt teeth on his neck snapping him back to reality. He remembered what this was just another transaction eyes welling up again as he pushed him from his neck to his surprise. It was his rut making him think that and he didn't want him to do anything he'd regret.

"You don't mean that just... Just come already and get it over with," he said no longer having fun the bandage on his heart ripped off once again leaving him wounded. The back of his eyes were stinging again and as much as he tried to will them away he was crying while Anthony was inside him again. He hated this, hated it with a passion. Why had he done this to himself again?

Anthony paused seeing his distress and brought a hand to caress his face wiping his tears away. He was crying even harder now blaming it on the hormones and his stupid past self for getting him into all this in the first place. He gripped Anthony tighter wishing he wanted this wishing he wanted him but he knew better. His heart broke as he watched him sob wondering what did he want... He sent pheromones to calm him once again and it stopped the sobbing but the tears kept coming. He pressed his forehead to his swallowing thickly in fear. He wanted him but he was afraid. He wasn't exactly a great guy but he wanted to be wanted to be for him for their pups... He kissed him gently and he couldn't help but kiss back almost desperately.

"I want you, Damien," he said softly against his lips after he pulled away. Damien shook his head not believing it but he stopped him. "I do. I've watched you this whole time watching how strong you are to do this by yourself. You chose this because you wanted it and took charge of your life. You're strong and resilient and beautiful and so fucking funny I think you give me a run for my money," he said with a chuckle.

"You pick yourself up after everything you've been through and aren't bitter about it you're so sweet and adorable with all your plushies and cute shit covering your desk and you work so hard-" he realized he was rambling. "What I'm trying to say is that you're an amazing person and any alpha would be lucky to have you but... Would you let me have you?" Damien blinked at him weary.

"Why now?" he asked gently.

"Cause I'm an idiot," he said simply. He couldn't help but smile.

"That's obvious," he said but his face fell again. "How do I know you mean it? I don't want you to regret this," he said sadly. He kissed him again gently.

"My head is the clearest it's ever been in the past two days. I know I want this," he said emphasizing it by pressing into him making him moan. "My alpha chose you and so do I," he said nuzzling into his neck again.

"Okay," he said softly. He pulled back to look at him seeing his reservation and fear but also trust. He trusted him and it made his alpha preen. He kissed him again before pulling away. He started to thrust into him again softly slowly letting him feel all of it as he clung to him.

Anthony lapped at his neck before pressing a kiss to the mark there now. Damien was just panting into his neck his scent now intoxicating and he pulled away making him whine. He chuckled.

"Pretty omega full of my pups already. My omega," he whispered and Damien whined pulling him in for a kiss. Their tongues danced lazily as Anthony gently rutted into him getting close as his knot started to swell pressing against him. He pushed back against it wanting it and he pressed it inside as he groaned and he swallowed the noise. He trailed kisses from his mouth to his neck mouthing over his scent gland as his fingers buried in his hair. He nipped at it before stopping.

"Are you ready omega?" he asked gently and he nodded pulling him ever closer. He finally opened his mouth and sank his teeth into it as Damien saw stars. His taste filled Anthony's mouth as he presented his neck to him as well wanting to seal the bond. Barely coherent working off instinct Damien bit down as well groaning as he did and they came hard together, knot swelling.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby," he said softly collecting him and pulling them to the side. Their legs intertwined Damien laid his head on Anthony's chest brain fuzzy and neck sore but in the best way. He giggled not being able to help it and nuzzled into it. Anthony's tattooed hand found its way to his stomach rubbing it gently as his eyes started to droop exhausted.

"Can't wait to see you pups," he said softly and Damien hummed in agreement as he cradled his belly. There was still a nagging part of his brain terrified this was a mistake but he pushed that away for the moment focusing on the now and hoping it would work out in the end.

[afpwestcoast]

9:30 Club, Washington, DC, 6/14/24

My friend Melissa, who has actually been to more shows this year than I have, had developed a theory. They have been playing the same playlist before all of the recent shows, and if the crowd sings along to ‘Say It Ain’t So’ by Weezer then it will be a good crowd. Tonight they not only sang along to Weezer, but just kept going and sang along to ‘I Wanna Be Sedated,’ by The Ramones and ‘The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1’ by Neutral Milk Hotel. We all looked at each other and were like Holy shit this is gonna be a good crowd! We were right. The band … went through some things this night, but the crowd caught them and supported them and prevented the wheels from coming off completely.

Since the Dolls reunited in November ‘22 a familiar pattern has emerged: torch through 6 or 8 old favorites without pausing for breath, a lengthy pause to check in with the audience, talk about the new album, and mentally brace for the new songs, play a string of new songs, then close with a few familiar bangers. That pattern, for reasons both technical and thermal, went out the window tonight. At the Patreon meetup in Philly I said that Amanda had “powerful songs rampaging through her soul and if she doesn’t release them they will destroy her.” This show was sort of the embodiment of that. It felt like she wasn't so much performing songs as exorcising demons. She was definitely going through … something.

According to tour manager Jaron (and later confirmed by Amanda) this was due, at least in part, to it being cold on stage. So maybe don't perform in just a bra? As Anthony used to say: There is no bad weather, just poor clothing choices.

When I made this comment to Amanda at the Patreon meetup on the 15th she said it’s not so much about her body temperature, but more about the effect of cold air on her throat, which seems fair.

Anyway, the set list was ignored, the energy was manic, the crowd was wild, and the overall experience was sublime.

Annotated Set List:

Good Day (Brian on guitar to start)

Sex Changes

There was a pause in the set uncharacteristically early due to Brian having an unspecified technical issue. Brian made a sort of Hamburglar noise and Amanda asked, “Fucking are you okay? What? What? What? What? WHAT?” and then said “Hold on!” in a sing-song voice and went over to the drums. Brian inaudibly explained the situation, causing her to exclaim, “Weird!” I yelled out, “It happens!” And Amanda replied, “It happens … to other bands too!” Soon enough Brian yelled, “Sorry!” and we were back at it. Gravity

Amanda started with a tinkly intro reminiscent of Trout Heart Replica, then teased Girl A before finally breaking into …

My Alcoholic Friends

Backstabber

Missed Me Amanda: How is everybody feeling? Crowd: <roars> Amanda: This is good. How’s everybody up in the balcony? Balcony: <roars> Amanda: How’s everybody down on the floor? Floor: <roars> Amanda: Balcony. Balcony: <roars> Brian: FLOOR! Floor: <roars> Brian <points stage left>: How are the two people in the VIP balcony? VIP balcony: yay? Crowd: <laughs> Brian: Floor! Floor: <roars> Amanda <in a high-pitched voice>: The balcony in the back! The little balcony! Hi guys! Little balcony: <tiny roar> Amanda: What the fuck? Brian: Isn’t this FUN? Crowd: <roars> Brian: Chaos on stage here. Cats and dogs, living together. Amanda: Cats and dogs, living together, mass hysteria. Fucking what even is … the Earth? What even is this city? What is time? I don’t know; we’ve stopped trying to figure out; the solution is just … music. The end! End of story! We literally are embodying the deck chairs on the Titanic here, it’s us. And we look FABULOUS!

While scanning the crowd for young people Amanda found 6yo Eliot in the balcony. “Eliot, we’re gonna be swearing a lot tonight. … My son is 8; his name is Ash. And I’ll tell you what I tell my son Ash about swearing … (because Mommy swears a lot): The rule in our house about swearing is that swearing is like a tool. It’s like a knife or anything else that you can use for good things or bad things. … And joyful swearing, or swearing for emphasis is totally allowed and even encouraged. But we are not allowed to swear if it is mean or hurtful to someone else.”

Welcome to the Internet (Bo Burnham cover)

Amanda <looks at Brian> What do you wanna do? Brian: Pirate Jenny. Amanda: Alright!

Pirate Jenny (Lyrics by Bertolt Brecht, music by Kurt Weill) While introducing the song Brian reiterated that they are planning to put it on the record, so that seems to be happening.

Amanda went over to the drums and said something to Brian, whose response was a genuinely shocked, “NOW!?!??!?” Yes, now.

War Pigs (Black Sabbath cover)

Modern Moonlight Girl Anachronism Mister God

Houdini

Boyfriend in a Coma

Whakenewha

The Runner Before the song Amanda remembered to exhort the crowd not to record the new songs, or at least to listen to them in private and not post them to the internet. A woman in the crowd yelled out, “I promise I won’t touch myself!” “You can touch yourself,” Amanda replied. “Why would I want you to not touch yourself? If anyone records these songs and goes home and masterbates to them (sorry Eliot!) I will give you extra points.”

The Nail (Amanda on synth) The normally reverberating bass was toned down a bit tonight.

Bad Habit

Half Jack

Photo Gallery:

I am very mature. (by Scott Hanes)

Good Day

The Dresden Dolls are a very expressive band!

Uh … you okay over there?

Brian is having a moment. With his hat.

Shenanigins!

The best drummer. IN HELL!!!!!!!

Half Jack

You’ve been a wonderful audience! Thank you and good night! <drops mic> <no encore>

[waywardxrhea]

Chapter 9 - Panic Room

What happens when you lie to the Devil? How long can one woman keep a lifetime of secrets from the Devil of Hell's Kitchen? The answer may surprise you...

installment list

pairing: Matt Murdock x enhanced!fem!OC

series content: coffee shop AU, fluff, humor, friends to lovers, pining, language, canon typical violence, angst, drinking, implied smut, medical emergencies, mental health disorders (PTSD, panic disorder).

"welcome to the panic room where all your darkest fears are gonna come for you" - panic room, au/ra

word count: 2.3k

Crystal's hand is forced when she uses her powers very publicly for the first time since coming to New York.

On a clear summer evening Crystal was out patrolling her usual route making sure no one was assaulted by petty criminals when she heard a quiet whistle from above her. She quickly looked up to see Matt clad in his black suit jumping down from a fire escape to meet her on the ground. “Hey you,” she said, relaxing her alert muscles in his presence for a moment. “How’s your patrol going?”

“Good, I’ve taken three to the 15th so far, what about you?” he asked, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. 

“You know this isn’t a competition right?” Crystal asked, shaking her head as a quiet laugh left her lips. 

“Oh no, it definitely is. Remember a few weeks ago when you said that you stop more guys than I do on any given night?” he asked. His hands landed on his hips as he finished, “Since then it’s definitely been a competition.”

“That isn’t how I intended it! I just meant that since the big crime rings aren’t out of control anymore, petty crime has risen and therefore I have been stopping more people.”

“Whatever you gotta say to help you sleep at night,” he told her, a full smile finally gracing the lower half of his face at the banter. 

Suddenly though, both of their heads snapped in the same direction as they heard gunshots ringing in the still night air. “I make two gunmen and two people in the building,” Matt said as Crystal crouched to the ground and laid her hand on it.

“It’s on 51st and 9th, bodega robbery?” Crystal asked as she began turning to leave the alleyway.

“Beat you there,” Matt told her playfully as he skillfully began scaling the building while Crystal took to the sidewalks. 

By the time Crystal ran the few blocks required to get there, Matt was already on the scene grappling with one of the gunmen while the store owner and patron stood frozen behind the counter. What she didn’t see was the second gunman Matt had mentioned before they both made their way over. Surely he wasn’t wrong about that part, but where was he? Pushing that thought aside and wanting to get the innocents out, Crystal quickly navigated through the small store’s isles so she wouldn’t be seen by the man Matt was fighting intensely. 

While the two men were distracted with each other and the mess that was being made of the bodega courtesy of the fighting, Crystal managed to approach the two innocent bystanders behind the counter. “We’re here to help, come with me,” she told them quietly in her American accent as she motioned for them to crouch down and follow her. 

“There’s an exit out back by the office, we can go that way,” the owner whispered as he pointed to the exit sign on the wall in the corner. 

Crystal nodded before asking, “Was there a second gunman here?”

“Yeah, he took off though when Daredevil showed up,” he replied as the three of them began slowly making their way to the exit. As they did, Crystal noticed that Matt had moved the fight toward the front door and away from the three of them and smiled to herself at the gesture. 

When they neared the exit though, from the small hallway nearby which held the office, a second man emerged carrying a rifle. “They’re trying to escape!” the squirrelly man shouted to his partner as he aimed the gun at the three of them. 

“Well shoot them, damnit!” the man managed to grunt out from his fight with Matt. 

Following orders quickly, the man pulled the trigger, but before the spray of bullets could hit the three of them, Crystal made a motion with her arms that caused the concrete floor to form a thick wall that absorbed the blow of the projectiles. “What the-?” the owner said in shock, his eyes wide at the feat. 

Crystal looked up in the round mirror near the ceiling and saw the man making his way around to the next aisle with his gun up, so she took down the wall and shouted at the owner, “Just go!”

While the owner and patron scurried out of the back exit, Crystal focused back on the scene where Matt was still fighting the first man, but what made her blood run cold was seeing the second aiming his gun right at Matt’s back. “No!” Crystal shouted as she focused on the stone material within the metal of the barrel of the gun, willing it to bend to her will as she ran toward the man at the same time, ready to go hand-to-hand if she needed to. That choice didn’t have to be made though as the barrel of the rifle bent up and backfired as the man pulled the trigger. 

As the man went down due to his injuries, Matt finally managed to incapacitate the man he was fighting, his chest heaving with exertion from the battle. “Thanks for the save,” Matt told her with a nod as he wiped the blood dripping from his bottom lip. His head turned a bit and he informed her, “Cops are nearly here. Get out of here, I’ll deal with this.”

“But…but they saw… There are cameras here, I…” Crystal mumbled as the realization of what she did so openly dawned on her. Her knees gave out from under her as numbness filled her body and panic filled her mind.

When Matt ran over and caught her, he ran his hand comfortingly over her back as he whispered, “Hey, hey, just listen to my voice. Breathe. Nice and easy. I’ve got you.” The tenor of his voice soothed Crystal the slightest bit, but before she could stop it her body dove into complete panic mode and she felt like she was shutting down. 

Before the cops arrived, Matt gently picked Crystal up and swiftly got her up to a nearby building’s rooftop. He leaned against one of the walls of an AC unit and held Crystal close to his chest as he rubbed her back to calm her down. 

When her heart rate began to slow the slightest bit and her breathing was less shallow, she finally was able to process her surroundings. Taking a deep breath and trying to slow her racing thoughts, Crystal managed to get out, “The cops. Owner’s statement… They can’t find out!”

“Crystal, sweetheart, who can’t find out what?” Matt asked softly.

“My powers! No one’s supposed to know! They’ll come for me!” she cried, clinging to Matt impossibly closer as tears fell from her eyes. 

“I won’t let anyone hurt you, you know that,” Matt told her. “If anyone comes after you because of your powers they’ll have to go through me first, got it? No one’s laying a hand on you while I’m here.” Crystal nodded, not able to fully process the words, but felt comfort in Matt’s arms as he continued to whisper reassurances in her ear. Once she was calmed down enough to stand semi-steadily, Matt got her up and off of the roof, taking her to his place to continue to cool off while he went back to the bodega to talk with the police about what happened. 

When he returned, from her spot on the leather couch curled up in a soft blanket, Crystal watched as Matt took off his face covering and ran a hand through his mussed hair, letting out a sigh. “Everything okay?” she asked, worry flooding her mind at his grim expression. 

“For the most part,” he told her, his hands going to rest on his hips as his head fell back over his shoulders, stress evident in his body language. 

“But…?” Crystal prompted.

He was silent as he navigated his way to the couch to sit beside Crystal. She turned toward him and he grabbed her hand as he told her, “When I got back, a reporter from The Bulletin was already there interviewing the owner and patron about what happened…”

“Oh my God…” Crystal whispered, her free hand going to cover her mouth as more tears sprang to her eyes. “Is there any way to stop them from publishing?”

Matt shook his head solemnly as he squeezed her hand in an attempt to comfort her. His head turned to the left for a moment and he closed his eyes, shaking his head again. This action prompted Crystal to ask, “What did you hear just now, Matt?”

“Crystal…”

“Matthew, please, just tell me,” she pleaded.

He sighed before quietly telling her, “The news is already reporting it as an ongoing story. They don’t have any details, I’m sure they’re waiting on the footage, but…”

“Oh my God…” Crystal said, her hand escaping from Matt’s as she ran her hands through her hair, getting up to pace the sitting area. “I have to get out of here, I can’t be here anymore, I-”

“Crystal, what?” Matt asked, getting up and making his way over to intercept her from the pacing. “What do you mean you have to get out of here? What aren’t you telling me?”

“I-” Crystal started, wanting to just lie completely about everything to save face. But she stopped herself in the middle of the sentence, not wanting to test the boundaries of how much she could bluff to the human lie detector standing right in front of her. She also didn’t want the lies to completely ruin this unexpected union with Matt…

Deciding on a vague form of the truth and praying that her riled up heart would cover up the lie by omission, she told him, “When you have powers like I do, there’s always going to be people coming after you. You’re going to make enemies wherever you go, and before I left London I made some pretty big ones. I work as discreetly as possible and cover my face, not because I don’t want the people I help to know who I am, but because I’m afraid of what may happen to me if those people I made enemies out of find me… And now that it’s out there…”

“You’re scared of them coming after you and those you care about…” Matt supplied quietly. 

“Exactly…” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion as she walked over to the window to look out at what she could see of the city from there. “I know you can handle yourself, but…what about Raeyes? Karen? Foggy and Marci? If they get their hands on any one of you, that’s on me and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself!”

“Crystal, sweetheart, listen to me,” Matt said softly as he joined her at the window, taking her hands in his once again. “You can’t give into the fear, that’s how people like this win.”

“But-” she tried, but was cut off when Matt softly hushed her once more. 

“Crystal please, just hear me out,” he said, guiding her back to the couch. As they sat down together, Matt told her, “Maybe the best way to get out in front of this is to be more open with your powers. You’ve saved countless people since you moved here, so if you step into the spotlight then maybe whoever it is you’re afraid of won’t come after you. It’s what Foggy did when Fisk was after my loved ones. He ran for DA’s office because as a public figure there was less of a chance of Fisk getting him. And it worked.”

“I dunno, Matt… These people, they’re…ruthless…aggressive… I’m afraid they won’t stop until I’m out of commission…for good,” Crystal said, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“And I won’t let that happen,” Matt said firmly. “We survived Fisk, I know we can get you through whoever may come for you. If they even come. If we get you out in the spotlight they might not even try.”

“If I agree to do that, I still don’t have to show my face, do I?” Crystal asked hesitantly. 

“No, absolutely not. The public still doesn’t know who I am, but Daredevil is a household name around here,” he told her, a quiet laugh at the end of his statement. “How about we make Rockie one too?”

The last statement shocked Crystal for a moment before she started laughing, saying, “Oh come on, don’t you dare side with Raeyes about that nickname!”

“It’s not just Raeyes, that’s what the bodega owner called you too,” Matt said with a chuckle. 

Crystal groaned as she leaned back onto the couch, shaking her head as she said, “Of all the low effort nicknames…”

“We don’t get a choice in what the public calls us, I didn’t,” Matt tells her, “Mahoney actually got the name Daredevil to stick.”

“Well maybe he can come up with a better one for me too,” Crystal said. 

“So you’ll do it? Become more of a public figure? Work with me openly at night?”

Crystal was quiet for a few moments as she thought it through, weighing the pros and cons of the situation in her mind. Finally, she sighed and asked, “I guess I don’t really have a choice do I? I just have to pray that this crazy plan of yours works…”

“It will, I promise,” Matt told her, kissing her before bringing her in for a hug. 

After the kiss, with her voice muffled in Matt’s shoulder, Crystal asked, “Strawberry mentos?”

Matt nodded, replying, “Yeah, the bodega owner told me to grab whatever I wanted as a ‘thank you,’ so I grabbed a pack and ate a couple on the way here in hopes you’d catch on… Hoped it would cheer you up.”

“Well I’m definitely on my way there,” she told him, a small smile making its way onto her lips at the sweet gesture. 

next chapter

[stormyoceans]

Have a nice day, Monica! 🌸How are you feeling? Do you sleep better or are you worried about insomnia? I have a question for you: what are your favorite interviews with JimmySea? Can you make a top? I like their interviews, where the boys tell something special about their character, about hobbies outside the set or about their family. But I think the most favorite interview is Mint Hang Out. Very beautiful bright cafe, delicious dishes, Jimmy and Sea in flirting mode, and Jimmy, who did not come out of the image of Puen, because there were shootings the day before, and driving everyone crazy with gentle looks. Take care of yourself!🌸

hello, dear anon!!!! 💜

this is such a sweet message and that’s also a very interesting question!!! unfortunately im not the best at keeping track with interviews and events, so im probably going to miss some major one, but im going to try to make a small list of my favorites anyway!!!

praew magazine Q&A. YOU WILL NEVER GET ME TO ADMIT HOW MANY TIMES I’VE REWATCHED THIS INTERVIEW JUST KNOW I WOULD HAVE ORDERLIES AT MY DOOR READY TO DRAG ME INTO A PADDED ROOM IF I ADMITTED IT OUT LOUD. im not sure why i like it so much tbh, maybe because it’s a recent one and you can really see how much more comfortable they are in front of the camera and with each other, especially sea. my favorite part is how after the 15th time sea touched jimmy’s leg in the span of 3 minutes even the editor of the video was like if im forced to bare witness to things not even god could withstand then so are y’all [zooms in]

mint hang out vlog. jimmy truly be having some residual method acting left in his system with how ridiculously FOND he looks throughout the entire video. the only reason it doesn't get first place to me is because technically this isn’t exactly an interview but more of a vlog, as the title says, however since i love it and the ACTUAL interview doesn’t have any subs (if anyone asks this is my villain origin story btw) i’ve decided that i don’t care and that im gonna add it to the list anyway. ALSO THIS PERFECTLY SHOWS WHY WE NEED A JIMMYSEA EATING PROGRAM @ GMMTV LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE!!!!!!

our skyy vice versa interview. LISTEN i know it doesn't have any subs so it's not fully accessible to international fans, however it deserved a place here even just for THEE HUG™, i know it was for a challenge but sea clearly didn't expect it and you can tell he is SO DELIGHTED by it AND SO AM I OKAY IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU I AM ONLY HUMAN. also even if you don't know what they're talking about the vibes are just so immaculate and unmatched i would listen to them FOR HOURS

open the world interview. im so very fond of this one because i feel like it's a very good starting point to get to know them. sea is still very shy here, but you learn a lot of things that if you follow them for a while you find out are true: that behind the scenes sea is clingy and determined, that jimmy is always there to guide him, that the way they express their love (even the platonic kind) is by supporting and taking care of the other person, that they do end up spending time together swimming and singing and wakeboarding......

let's talk BL podcast. i knew i could trust them with my life when they were asked which was their favorite vice versa episode and jimmy replied that it was episode 10 (because he is so proud of himself for the derangement he unleashed upon us) while sea eventually picked episode 11 (because he is a man of culture) TRULY KINGS OF TASTE VISION AND CORRECT OPINIONS ONLY!!!!!!! honestly it's just a great interview all-around and i always love how both jimmy and sea try their best in everything they do

i wish i could add more but sadly all the other ones that come to mind (like the oishi magic of zero episode with milklove and the jd's birthday party live with earthmix) don't have any subs ;;;;;; let's hope we're gonna get a lot more when last twilight finally airs!!!!!

[frankiefellinlove]

12/15/1978 Winterland Ballroom, San Francisco, CA

Acclaimed Springsteen and music photographer, PJay Plutzer, is back to share another concert experience. This time he details the iconic Winterland shows, and shares some classic photos from the concerts:

It was December of 1978, two weeks before the final notes would be played on New Years Eve at Bill Graham’s famed Winterland Ballroom that Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band brought the Darkness on the Edge of Town tour to San Francisco.

Graham’s Winterland was a premier music concert ballroom and had witnessed many legendary concerts from the greatest rock and roll bands over the years.

Biographer Dave Marsh wrote in 1987, “The screaming intensity of those ’78 shows are part of rock and roll legend in the same way as Dylan’s 1966 shows with the Band, the Rolling Stones’ tours of 1969 and 1972, and the Who’s Tommy tour of 1969: benchmarks of an era.” Whereas the previous Born to Run tour established Springsteen as one of the top live acts, the Darkness tour blew everything else away, delivering some of his best performances and most legendary full-length concerts, and making him the ‘must-see’ musician of his generation.

I had seen four shows on the Darkness tour, San Jose, two in Berkeley, CA and Madison Sq. Garden, all of which were incredible. But the shows at Winterland would turn out to be the two of the most exciting and memorable concerts of Springsteen and the band that I ever attended.

The Winterland show on the 15th was to be the fifth and last of the shows to be broadcast live on the radio on KSAN-FM, having already broadcast shows from the Roxy in L.A., the Agora in Cleveland, the Capitol Theater in Passaic and the Fox Theater in Atlanta.

“Tonight you are gonna hear the concert of your life”, the radio announcer at KSAN stated to those listening and he was absolutely right! With Bill Graham’s introduction of the band, “The chairman of the board, the great one, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band”, the band started at a fever pitch level with “Badlands” that didn’t stop over the entire 25 song set. On the 16th, Graham’s intro, “Rather than tell you about last night, which was magic, let’s just talk about tonight, on a Saturday night in San Francisco, Mr. Bruce Springsteen”, the band started what would set the tone to the evening and this night's 25 song set, “Good Rockin’ Tonight”. Both nights had so many highlights, including, “Streets of Fire”, “Spirit in the Night”, “Darkness”, Bruce’s ode to his dad, “Independence Day”, the now famous “Prove it All Night” with Springsteen’s incredible guitar intro, “Thunder Road”, “Jungleland”, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” “The Fever”, “Fire” “Because the Night”, “Point Blank”, “She’s the One (with Preacher’s Daughter & Mona) and so many more songs. Erik Flanagan wrote a fantastic essay, “Walking in a Winter Wonderland”, https://www.nugs.net/12-20-2019-bruce-december.html, for NUGS.net about the release of these shows from the Springsteen Live Archives that gives great insight and information about both of these concerts. My experience of these two nights has never left me, they were two of the best shows I have ever seen and they are imbedded forever in my rock and roll memory. We are all very fortunate that both of these shows are available at https://live.brucespringsteen.net/ and NUGS.net to listen to and be able relive the power and the glory of the Bruce and the E Street Band on the Darkness tour in 1978. While for me, the Winterland concerts might have been a bit difficult to photograph, with the crowd being so tight near the front of the stage that at times I couldn’t lift my arms above my shoulders to take pictures, I was thrilled that I did capture many moments of rock and roll magic at these shows of Springsteen and the Legendary E Street Band. Shows that will always be remembered as two of the greatest performances in the band’s history and at the Winterland Ballroom.

Photos by PJay Plutzer, Prisoner of Rock and Roll Photos

www.prisonerofrockandrollphotos.com (website live in January, 2023)

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Get Me to the Church On Time Pt. 1

Series Summary: It's Dean and Julie's wedding day. What could go wrong?

Chapter Summary: Dean is nervous and stressed about the big day. His friends and family are not helping.

Series Warnings/Explicit 18+: Some show level violence, eventual smut, fluff, smidge of angst. Chapters will have individual warnings.

Chapter Warnings: None, Dean being an anxious bean, fluff.

Pairings: Dean Winchester x OFC (Julie)

Word Count: 991

**I sincerely apologize for putting this series up a second time. For some bizarro reason, Tumblr won't let me edit them, and they don't open properly when I click on them, it's being a giant pain, so I'm hoping if I repost them, I can change what I need and fix the problem. 🤞🏼🤞🏼**

A/N: Dean and Julie are back! Each part will vary between 500+ and 2000+ words. I will be releasing all the parts today, September 15th, as part of my 1K follower celebration! 😊💓

The parts will be released as follows:

Part 1 - 8:00 AM

Part 2 - 10:00 AM

Part 3 - 12:00 PM

Part 4 - 3:00 PM

Part 5 - 6:00 PM ||

*Times are all based on CST*

A/N 2: So, as I stated this mini-series is part of my 1K followers celebration. For the celebration I asked people to send in gif prompts, or requests for me to write, all of which would be posted on my birthday, which is TODAY! 🎉

I only ended up with 6 prompts/requests, so I thought I would mix the prompts in with my own ideas, and I decided to write this little mini-series as well as a (hopefully) special surprise for those who enjoyed Dean and Julie in Green is My Favorite Color.

At 7:00 PM, I will post my last fic for the celebration, the first chapter of my sequel series, I Will Find You in the Dark!

Hope you enjoy my contributions for the day! 😘😘

Both beautiful text dividers, below and at the bottom, were created by @talesmaniac89. 💓 Title card was designed by me.

"What time is it, Sammy?"

"It's one minute and thirty-six seconds from the last time you asked me."

Sam looked up from the game of chess he was playing with Benny. "We're still like twenty minutes away from even leaving for the church, Dean. Relax."

He took out Benny's bishop and then looked back at Dean, a wide, teasing smile on his face. "If she's hung in this long, Julie's not likely to drop you in the last hour."

Dean shot his little brother a look. "You don't know that for sure. Maybe today's the day she finally comes to her senses."

Sam nodded as though he was contemplating that possibility. "Well, we'll just have to wait and see, I guess."

He raised his voice as he looked around the cheap motel room they were waiting in. "Who else wants to get in on this action? Five to one odds that Julie doesn't show up today at the church! Who's betting?"

Benny reached in his pocket, and pulled out a ten. "I'll take that action." Dean scowled at him and Benny just shrugged. "Sorry, Chief, but that pretty lady is just too good for you "

Kevin and Garth stood up and put a few bucks down in favor of Dean being left at the altar.

Dean gave them all a supremely unimpressed look. "Seriously?"

Garth grinned. "Sorry, Amigo, but I've been planning on marrying Julie since we teamed up back in Apocalypse Number One. If she stands you up, maybe I've got a chance."

Everyone laughed, and Dean gave a fake chuckle. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. But you're all gonna feel like crap when she really does come to her senses and I'm left standing there like an idiot."

He turned away, to stare out the window at the empty parking lot. The group of men, (Best Man Sam, Groomsman Benny, and guests Kevin and Garth) began a loud conversation all about the horror stories they'd heard or read, where grooms got left waiting for a runaway bride.

When the teasing ended though, they came, one by one to pound him on the back, and quietly reassure him.

Benny came up first and offered him a sip from his flask, which Dean gladly accepted. "My friend, I watched that little girl fight with every breath in her body to keep you safe, to keep you alive. I watched her nearly die alongside you when you were bleeding into the ground of purgatory."

He thumped Dean's back with his big, meaty hand and smiled with a slightly wistful air. "I'm gonna be out ten bucks, I can promise you that."

Next Kevin came up and stood right in front of him. "You don't notice it because, well, because you're you, but I've seen how Julie watches you, and..."

The young prophet looked down at the floor, a hopeful smile on his face. "Well, let's just say I sure hope someone looks at me like that one day."

Garth slung an arm around Dean's shoulder as they looked out the window together. "I knew from the first minute I met her that I didn't stand a chance with Julie Taylor, in spite of my winning ways and charm. Know how I knew?"

Dean's mouth lifted at the corner. "No, how?"

"We were fighting all them demons together, trying to keep the world spinnin' while the devil tried to take hold of Sam, remember?"

"Vaguely." Dean said, voice thick with sarcasm.

"Well, the group of us, we got to talkin' about you Winchesters, and that girl lit up like a firefly every time your name came up. Course, she was sorta sad too, cause you were bein' a idiot, and wouldn't date her."

Dean scowled at him and Garth shrugged. "Annie told me. God rest her soul. My point is, she's been in love with you as long as I've known her, and I knew I never stood a chance."

He squeezed Dean's shoulders in a sideways hug and moved off.

Sam came to stand silently beside him for a while before he simply said. "Julie has been in love with you for most of her life, Dean. What are the chances she stops that today?"

Dean shrugged and crossed his arms. "Pretty unlikely." He said quietly.

Sam nodded. "Exactly." He pulled his brother into a quick, reluctant hug, pulling back to clap his big hand against the side of Dean's neck.

"You're getting married today, man. I'm so, unbelievably happy for you."

Dean ducked his head, avoiding Sam's earnest and warm expression. But he gave a shy smile and nodded. "Thanks, Sammy."

Dean's smile continued as Sam left with a final pat on his back. They were right, and he knew it, deep down.

Julie loved him more than the air in her lungs. He just never understood why, so it was easy to imagine her waking up one morning and deciding she'd been seeing things in him that weren't there.

A few minutes later Cas opened the door. "All right, everyone, the church is ready, and the bride is there and waiting, so we should go now."

The ragtag group, three hunters, a vampire, one angel and a prophet all clamored to leave at once, sounding like a stampede as they rushed forward. Dean was left alone in the room for minute as they ran out to their vehicles and he took a deep breath.

Cas stuck his head back in the door. "Dean, you have to come with us now. Julie said, and I quote, "Cas, if you don't get Dean to that church on time, I'm gonna see if I can toss an angel into Hell."

He frowned. "Of course, I assume she was speaking metaphorically, since it would be physically impossible for her to lift me up and throw me anywhere. Especially not hell, since she doesn't actually know how-"

"Okay, Cas!" Dean interrupted, grinning. "I'm coming."

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[etes-secrecy-post]

Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

My Wangan Maxi Tune Career Returns 2023 Edition [Timezone Arcade Trinoma] - Part 5 [first half] (Recorded: May 21st, 2023)

Hey, hey! It’s me! 😁 And welcome back for another installment of "My Wangan Maxi Tune Career"! I've returned in 2022, and now I'm gonna continue it, this 2023! Man, I've got ton of progress, on May 21st (Sunday) of that year! So, here's my "first half" of Part 5! 🚗🔧🏁

But before that, if you haven't seen my 2022 recorded, then I'll provide some links down below. ↓😉

• My Wangan Maxi Tune Career Returns to 2022 [Timezone Arcade Trinoma] - Part 1 (Recorded: Nov 19th, 2022)

• My Wangan Maxi Tune Career Returns to 2022 [Timezone Arcade Trinoma] - Part 2 (Recorded: Nov 19th, 2022)

• My Wangan Maxi Tune Career Returns to 2022 [Timezone Arcade Trinoma & Quantum Amusement SM North Edsa] - Part 3 (Recorded: Nov 19th, 2022)

• My Wangan Maxi Tune Career Returns to 2022 [Timezone Arcade Trinoma] - Part 4 Final (Recorded: Dec 18th, 2022)

So, without further ado, let's get started:

1st to 11th Image(s):

• First off, I decided to finish my "Story Mode" 📖🚗 campaign with my current 350Z (a.k.a. Fairlady Z Ver. S) & achieve the fully tuned to 840HP. And for those who don't know, it usually reaches episode 50 to get the fully tune of 830 HP. But since the launch of Wangan Maxi 6, it extends up to episode 100 or earlier to get the fully tune of "840 HP". Not to mention, unlocking previous Wangan Maxi Tune installment OST(s) per 100 story. Which, by the way, returned from 3DX+ installment.

• Nonetheless, I started where I left off from episode 62 to episode 80, and I've done easy-peasy w/ my Wangan Maxi skills 😁, but also I have a fair share of frustrations & I lost my winning streak, a few times. 😣 But in the end, my goal is complete, as my 350Z was now finally maxed up to 840HP! 😁 All it was left is unlock the OST! Mmmm... I don't know, what WMMT installment OST it'll give me 🤔, but, wish me luck when I reach to 100th episode. 🙂💿🎵🚗

BTW: For unlocking 840 HP, I received a single "VS Player Free Continue" ticket 🚘💥🚗💥🚙💥🎫, which is nice, but, I have no plans to face other active Wangan Maxi players. 🤷

12th to 14th Image(s):

• I also mentioned, that they throw us a Limited Edition car campaign with the 2nd release of the Toyota GR Supra (J29/DB42) 🇯🇵🚘 for selected regions (S.E. Asia, New Zealand & Australia. From May 11th to Jun 11th, 2023.) by playing this arcade 20 times, and a limited edition unique race meter by collecting 8 body colors of GR Supra.

• To be honest, one GR Supra car ☝️🚗 is enough for me to get after playing it 20 times, particularly finishing the "Story Mode". 📖🚗 And while the unique race meter is a nice touch, I don't have plans to get that, anyway. 🤷 But wait, what body color that I get? 🤔We'll find out, in the next upcoming post. 😉

15th to 18th Image(s):

• [15th Image] Now back to my 350Z! After I finished 20 stories, my class updated from C2 (C class, 2 level) to C1 (C class, 1 level)! Nothing special (to be honest), but this is a great way to level up my class. If you want to know about their class system? Please → [CLICK ME!].

• [16th to 18th Images] Meanwhile, I get my favorite color! 😊🫰💙It's about time to change, and say goodbye to the glorious white color! The blue body color on my fully tuned 350Z (Fairlady Z Ver. S) is like shades of the classic "Devil Z" tuned car, that we've all known & loved. (sort of) 😁🔵🇯🇵🚘 Well, except my spoiler wing because the OG "Devil Z" usually equips with the duckbill spoiler.

Mixed Image(s) [1st to 4th screenshots & 19th Image]:

• [1st & 3rd screenshots via Wangan Navigator] Now, onto "Ghost Battle" action! 👻🚘🛞 Today's opponents are FUSE★ [Mazda 6 MPS] (which is romulus907), Enzo [Lan Evo X], and ASUKA [Skyline GT-R V-Spec II]. And I fought tooth & nail on two different courses; I placed 3rd in Hiroshima Area 🥉, and I placed 1st on Hanshin Expressway Loop Line 🥇.

• [2nd & 4th screenshots via Wangan Navigator, plus 19th Image] I've earned 4 trophies 🏆🏆🏆🏆 (after Ghost Battle) plus I acquired a carbon trunk lid 🔧. Which is nice, but, I'm not interested. 🤷

Mixed Image(s) [5th & 6th screenshots & 1st phone screenshot]:

• [5th & 6th screenshots via Wangan Navigator, plus 1st phone screenshot] Here's my final car after finishing the "Story Mode" & attempting "Ghost Battle". 😁💙🚘 I've made a huge progress, and you may wonder, where the title "Iron Man" came from? 🤔 Sure, it was a reference to the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe), but rather, I've obtained it from the "Story Mode". Considering, that my favorite Marvel superhero is "Iron Man" (a.k.a. Tony Stark) (shout out to the former actor R.D., Jr.). 😁🖐️🤖Mmm... Should I change the color Iron Man-inspired theme? 🤔Mmmm... I don't know, but, let's just say, I made an Iron Man custom color. (I think) 😉

Overall:

• I'm having a blast from playing WMMT, this year. Aside from battling opponents, I made my 350Z car a fully tuned 840HP & unlocked a brand new color! 😁🔧🚘 However, my "Story Mode" campaign wasn't done because I only have 20 episodes left before I get a random Wangan Maxi OST on my background music list. And as far as I know, I've only unlocked the Wangan Maxi 4 OST (currently used), so I'll double-check my 350Z stats when I earn enough funds & going to the same arcade venue (or another arcade branch). 🙂

Spot 🐶🏎️: Damn creator, congrats on achieving the fully tuned 840HP! I wish, I want to get fully tuned with my current Impreza! Plus, that title looks awesome! 😁👍

Riya 🐰🏎️: Yeah man, and you have the same color as I have! 😊🫰💙Although, I'm still waiting for my TRUE body color (#3 Light Blue), in the next 100 plays. 281 plays, to be precise... *sigh* I mean, this is taking forever though. 😩

Spot 🐶🏎️: No worries, Ri. Just be hard! *pat* Drive hard, and you'll get the color achievement that you targeted! 😊👋

Riya 🐰🏎️: Hmmm... You're right, twin! I'll try my best! But wait, what about ours, creator?! Are we gonna talk about our Wangan driving performance? 😦

Spot 🐶🏎️ & Riya 🐰🏎️: We would LOVE to hear us! 😁

Me 🇵🇭: Don't worry, I've already covered, in the next post! 😉

Spot 🐶🏎️ & Riya 🐰🏎️: Awesome! We can't wait! 😄

Well, that’s all for now. More Wangan Maxi experience, coming up soon.

If you haven’t seen my 2019 Wangan Maxi Tune 6 & Wangan Navigator app (on the alternate blog), then I’ll provide some links down below. ↓😉

My Wangan Maxi Tune 6 Experience:

My WMMT6 Progress (2019): Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6 , Part 7, Part 7½, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14 [Final]

My Wangan Navigator app (2019): Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14 [Final]

My WMMT6RR Progress (2022 - present): Part 1 [Nov 19th, 2022], Part 2 [Nov 19th, 2022], Part 3 [Nov 19th, 2022], Part 4 [Final] [Dec 28th, 2022]

Also check out my previous moment from my WMMT5DXPlus - Please CLICK ME to see it all.

[jodilin65]

TUESDAY, JULY 23, 1991 Boy, I guess I haven’t written in a while. I left off about going to Hampden Bitch and man did I ever get so much color. I was cooked, but it looked so good. More of a tannish red rather than bright red and I didn’t peel. I lost some of it since then but still have a lot of color.

I got my new checks from United Bank and they’re so cute. Also, I thought I’d have to pay $1.50 a month, but cuz I have Direct Deposit, I need not pay anything.

I had a couple of nice talks with Andy who saw Gloria last July 15th on Linda’s b-day. He said she sang well and was very energetic and her sound system was excellent. He did say that she looked tired, but she tours for so long. I hope I get her tour books today in the mail as he tells me he sent them out last Tues.

Last Saturday, Jai, and Jenny came up and we had a nice visit.

Right now they’re putting in a new countertop for me. The guy will be here for two hours and the sanding machine is so loud and obnoxious.

Yesterday, I rearranged both the pictures that I have in my stairwell and in my photo album along with family pictures. Also, I did many other odds and ends and was up just about 24 hours before I could finally fall asleep.

Before I fell asleep, I was crossing Maliheh with so many people and she was freaking out and going hysterical. Maliheh is convinced, though, that the wires are crossed and not that someone’s fooling around. She’s such a hysterical bitch and a crab and at this point, I’m so glad we never even had a one-night stand. She’s too spastic and I can’t ever picture her calm and loosened up with a sense of a humor for one second. She’s either serious or tense and irritable all the time. Torturing her is so fun and she deserves it so much not cuz of leading me on but just cuz of how she is. I cannot see even those that “behave” feeling guilty.

I’m gonna take a trip to the store now for my usual brand of cigarettes as the kind I got yesterday causes attacks. I’m wicked tired too, as I only slept 6 hours after being up 24 hours. I also need to get some soda and some munchies as usual. I’ll write more later and once again, I can’t wait till I get those tour books!

FRIDAY, JULY 12, 1991 Kim and I are on our way to Hampden Beach in New Hampshire. It is awfully hard to write so I won’t write too long.

I will be embarrassed on the beach as I feel so out of proportion and bloated.

THURSDAY, JULY 11, 1991 Yesterday I called Tammy as I realized that this not being able to pay for what I need has got to stop. Wishing it all away wasn’t gonna make it go away. As far as making ends meet, I mean. I discussed with her how the owner flattered me with such approval on my first day of work. He complimented me on how I learn quickly while other employees were saying he isn’t punctual and a great businessman. After all this, he tells me to call him and he never returns my call. That job would’ve been a real bore and a drag anyway in no time at all. Especially when once again, it’s nothing I live for wanting to do.

I told her how the real thing that was upsetting me was the band. At least they’re saying that I’m good but not their style rather than that I need work. The thing, once again that upsets me is when they cry about my not having experience which I’ll never get till someone gives me a chance. All these people had to have their first time being hired into a band. Of course, I was hired till they moved out of state.

So, Tammy gave me a suggestion as well as others in the past that I may consider. Rather than look for ads where bands are looking for singers, I should put my own ad in saying I’m a singer looking for a band. She also said for me to put that I’ve had no experience so I’m honest right up front. I was considering lying next time around and saying that I have been in a band.

Then when I least expected it, she asked me how much extra a month I felt I needed. I told her and she’s sending a check for $50 monthly to supplement me. That’s fantastic! I’d normally be upset at needing help like that and didn’t want to ask Ma for more money as she just added an extra $10. I hate having to take and not being able to give but at this point of desperation, I’m more grateful and relieved than upset. Also, I have taken care of SS and the food stamps successfully over the phone so now, the only place I need to go to is Food Mart when my food stamps come tomorrow or the next day. Tammy’s check will be here tomorrow and God does that ever help so now from the end of each month till the 12th of the next month, I don’t have to practically starve. I sure feel like shit when I have to do that. I’d use my food stamps up, then have very little cash left for my non-edible stuff, then go broke. Then, get my checks on the 1st and 3rd, have no food and need to use too much cash for food till my food stamps arrive. As far as changing banks is concerned, it was much easier than I thought. My new bank’s right across the street. SIS in Northampton charges $8 a month, my ATM card got too scratched up, and I was down to only 3 checks left. Perfect timing. My new bank is small, they’re friendly and I got nicer-looking checks for cheaper and they do the food stamps there. I called SIS and they said to open with the new bank first and fill out the direct deposit form which I did and wait till the checks go to the new bank before closing SIS. I had $50 in SIS, so I wrote a check to the new bank (United Bank) for $40. I took $20 and left $20 in the account to cover the cost of the new checks. So, as soon as the checks get put in the new account, they’ll write a letter to SIS which I’ll sign to close out my account. Instead of $8 a month, I pay $1.50 for 6 checks. If I go over 6 checks which isn’t that often, it’s 75 cents for each additional one. This is a better deal.

SATURDAY, JULY 6, 1991 Well, for the last handful of days, there have been a lot of mixed emotions. There’s that little ounce of faith and hope. The voice that says, as far as the singing goes, it’s not over with. The voice that says, “It must be meant to be. Why else would I have the voice and be a night person and love to travel? Why else can I do so many other music-related things and not want to do anything else? Also, I cannot ever have a relationship, part-time or full-time or one night. I’ll no doubt never have a kid. I’ll always be alone and I know God sends me second best to keep me alone, and you need to be alone to be a singer.” It has to be meant to be.

Then there’s that other voice saying, “Don’t be a fool anymore. Give up before you lose and you know you’ll always lose. Be smart. Be brave. Be realistic. Walk away. Think of how you have no money to buy your way into the business. Think how you’d never sleep your way through even if you were straight. You’re not a slut. Think of how you fear people and are tired of their lies and false promises. Remember how you’re cursed as far as singing and a woman’s concerned. Don’t exhaust yourself by fighting a hopeless battle. Don’t embarrass yourself or be made to feel like a fool. Don’t be a sucker and let yourself take yet another fall. Never think positive and that you can do anything. Know that since you’ve been scared off as far as approaching people that if you’re approached, don’t have a heart. Of course, anyone that approaches you will be someone you’re not attracted to, but be cruel, tell them up front you’re not gonna take false assumptions about your intentions and your character. Tell them you’ll not be accused of asking too many questions. Make them feel foolish and ashamed of the way they feel. Tell them they deserve to be alone and they’re too persistent.”

Now, I realize I have 3 choices left. I could be poor and struggling on disability for the rest of my life. I could settle for second best by getting a good-paying job by getting financial aid and going to school. Or I could die.

I will grant myself just a little more time, but if I die, it’ll no longer be something I consider to be the easy way out. It’ll be the ONLY way out. I’m too trapped at this point so if things are ever to turn in my favor, which I doubt other than with the apartment and Kim and Mark, they better hurry up. I need and want some action fast and I feel I’m overdue and deserve it. I do not feel one tiny bit like I’m being selfish.

Fuck the kid and the woman, I say, just get me singing! I’ll work my ass off, just help me in the first step. Whatever’s up there, guide me into a band that will hire me even though I’ve never been in a band. They all say, “You sing well and you pick up well and are versatile but you’ve had no experience.” How am I going to get that experience if no one’s willing to give me a chance? Maybe I should lie and say that I have been in a band before.

Well, aside from all that frustration and bullshit, I had a great talk with Kim who really keeps me going. She’s amazing. Also, I got a great letter from Andy.

TUESDAY, JULY 2, 1991 I mentioned how I met Tanya through the personals, then met her at Pearl St. As nice as she was, I wasn’t turned on.

After speaking to the woman with the nice long hair, I went back over to where Kim and Tanya were sitting and there she was. I usually like them to be taller than me but she was my height. At the time, it didn’t matter as I was so attracted to her. She was the perfect example of the masculine yet quite feminine type I go for. She was shaped like Brenda, less curvy than me. She no doubt weighs less than me but doesn’t look like a toothpick. She wore jeans and a simple gray T-shirt, appearing very casual, yet so pretty. She had long straight brown hair that fell to the middle of her back. Brown eyes, tanned skin, and a beautiful smile with teeth that made mine look sick.

It turned out that she and Kim were in sign language classes together at U-Mass. She lives in Amherst and it’s a local call from here in S. Dfld. Kim said she was honest, outspoken and friendly and we exchanged phone numbers. I was, like I said, instantly curious, excited and tempted, but wary.

This was last Wed. night and she told me she’d get together with me the following Mon. or Tues. as she was to be very busy. She plays the guitar and has a 4-track and said she’d bring it over. Meanwhile, we both agreed on calling each other before we got together.

But now that’s all done and over with. Yes, I threw it all away and Kim said, “Are you going to do this every time you meet someone?” That feeling of, “Oh my God, is this really happening to me for the first time after 25 years? Someone I’m attracted to and possibly interested in?” Kim told me that there’s a first time for everything and I wasn’t looking 25 years ago. She’s right but what I’m about to say is, in my opinion, is more important than considering that. First of all, I’m not even sure that anything ever would’ve happened between Maliheh and I. Also, true that she could’ve been very busy, but I feel if she was that interested in me, she would’ve met me by now. I did call her and she did call me, but tonight I felt it was time to be honest.

I called and told her on her answering machine that I’ve done some thinking and that sometimes one must do not what’s easiest and what they want, but what is best. I told her I didn’t feel we should see each other and that I was considering her as well as myself. I told her it may sound cruel and as if I was judging her by experiences I’ve had with other people, but that I didn’t want to be hurt. I don’t want to get into anything I may regret. I said that I was not implying she was out to harm me as I don’t even know her. Lastly, I told her how I’ve been alone 99% of my life and it would no doubt be less awkward for her. It’d be too awkward for me, not that I don’t like someone who’s older and more experienced. I do, but how many people are going to be patient enough with me and willing to understand me? I don’t want to be worrying about what someone else is thinking or wondering if they understand me. I don’t want to go through the hassles of them getting to know me or of me getting to know them. I’m not motivated to put the effort into it anymore. Especially when sooner or later, one of us is going to dump the other. Like I always said, all I need is me, myself and I. Only I can know and understand myself and I do. I don’t want to have to communicate with anyone other than friends. What others don’t know or understand won’t hurt them. The only way for me to be happy, carefree and independent is to remain alone. That way there’s no fear, anxiety or guilt. I realized also, that even though other people did shit to me that I didn’t ask for, in a sense I did ask for it. I did bring it on myself and deserve it cuz I was stupid enough to get involved. Never again will someone get the chance to hurt me and I will never be a sucker for it either.

So, when I hung up I cried and was hurt and pissed off at myself. I said, “Oh no. Now, why did I do that? That was mean, cruel and unfair. You pushed her away and never gave her a chance and you’ve blown it for sure now that she knows you’re scared and not confident.” But then I kicked myself in the ass and told myself I did the right thing and I’d wished I’d done it when I did if I had gotten involved. How can you cry over someone you only met once and only spoke to for an hour? This is the only way I can protect myself and at least I can be honest about it. I’m good enough for myself. I’m good enough as someone’s friend, but not good enough as someone’s lover.

Later…

I hate her! I hate her! I hate her! I hate her and the rest of this whole stuck-up world! It’s amazing how much nerve and lack of respect people have. How harshly one can judge another and condemn them. How one can make you feel so ashamed and blow so much out of proportion? How one can exaggerate and make you feel like some crazed mass murderer? Slap you in the face for your good intentions. Condemn you for asking a few basic questions when you meet them and make it sound like you asked for their whole life story. Make a cruel, harsh and wrong assumption about you after you’ve only spoken to them a few short times and you know you carried yourself well. Tell you you’re persistent after only speaking with them 3 times for 5 minutes in one week. Tell you they may consider a relationship and drop other hints suggesting that, then totally contradicting that, while lashing out at you. It’s like grabbing someone and hugging and kissing them, then two seconds later they pummel 20 bullets into you from a gun.

Maliheh calls up saying she didn’t appreciate the Dear John message when there never was a relationship and never would’ve been. I tried to explain that was to prevent one and she did seem interested and even Kim thought so, too. She said I was the one with the 20 questions, and I tried to tell her that I was only curious to get to know her. They were basic simple questions that weren’t overly personal. She said I wouldn’t listen to her and that I’m alone for a reason and that’s because of me. She wouldn’t even listen to me. And I’m alone cuz of people like HER. How dare she say that shit to me, and why is she alone? She told me she got her aids test and it’s negative and reminded me her next partner was going to do the same, not that I’m sure what this has to do with anything, especially if she were never interested in me.

This is how I know God is punishing me, and it’s too late at this point as someone gorgeous and right for me could beg down on their knees. No one will ever have me! No one! From now on I’m going to condemn people for their feelings or for asking me any questions. I’m going to make them feel ashamed and foolish. I could never ever be in a normal relationship with anyone, no matter how right and attractive they were. This was the final straw and my mind’s been played with enough. If God’s goal was to keep me alone by not only sending me the wrong ones but also by driving so much fear and paranoia of people into me, he did it. See, it is the same pattern and now, not even Kim can say I’m wrong about what’s meant to be and what’s not. Congratulations God, or whatever the hell’s out there. You’ve finally been 100% successful. Of course, I’d never have to beg for you to never allow me a singing career. I’ve only come to know the plan all too well.

MONDAY, JULY 1, 1991 Now to tell the story about the band which is why Mark gave me The Advocate in the first place. Mark had said how he likes to read the personals just for kicks, so as I mentioned before, that’s how I met Tanya. I tried calling at a decent hour for 3 days, so when that failed, I called at 2 AM. I was goofing off totally figuring things probably wouldn’t work out anyway, but of course, nothing too scary or raunchy. I played the guy some edits and gave him a few crosses. I guess there are 3 roommates. A girl and two guys by the name of John. The John that was forming an alternative band was on the line the bulk of the time.

So finally, I came to realize how nice he was and how well he handled me so I got serious. I sang a bit over the phone, then he took my number telling me I sounded quite good, but may not be what he’s looking for.

Last Friday he came over and he really is a nice guy and we share a lot of the same philosophies and beliefs. He’s not gay, but he has gay friends.

I liked his lyrics. They were very free and open. He writes a lot like Stevie Nicks and Andy would and he played me a demo of his last band which was in New York City. He just moved here, but I noticed right away, that his last singer sounded a lot like Stevie Nicks. He told me that he felt I was a really good singer and had great pitch and picked up quickly, but will continue the ad for a month. I guess he originally planned to do this beforehand no matter what. Comparing what people say now about my singing to a few years ago, there’s a major difference. Years ago it wasn’t good enough or developed enough. Now, some people say it’s too dynamic and too vibrant. John is really looking for someone with more of a voice like Stevie Nicks. Stevie has had no real training and never really fully developed her voice. Gloria would be hired for this right on the spot. So many people prefer so many different styles that it can be hard to be one extreme or another. It’s sort of like being too good for certain bands such as in this case, so it’s both a compliment and a bummer. Maybe he won’t call, maybe he will. Who knows? It’s cruel to say this, but I hope whoever else calls for an audition sucks. That way, hopefully, I’d be hired.

I’ve been doing journals now since Oct. 27, 1987. I know this is something I’ll always do and want to do. Even though not quite each and every page of these journals have been filled, 98% of them have short little love stories that I never had the patience to finish, but that’s ok. It keeps my mind and attention focused on things I really want to write about. However, I’ll always continue to combine certain things with real and important issues. Issues that in my mind, mean a lot. The other pages were used for drawings or lyrics or names of people or charts of some personal or fun kind. Drawings from now on will go on a sketchpad where they belong. Ending this journal, I’ll say that since I’ve slacked off on writing about my past in more detail, it’ll surely be done in the next one.

Also, I will write about Maliheh, the gorgeous girl I met the night I met Tanya in person at Pearl St.

Later…

Before I write all about Maliheh, the next thing about my past I’ll write about will be Andy, Jessie and Tammy W. Now, believe me when I say there’s not too much to write about Tammy W. I know I was reunited with Andy and Jessie before I met Tammy over the phone as well as Linda J. I miss Linda a lot and I’m sorry she had to just toss our friendship out the door. I know why she chose to throw it away of course. Cuz she wanted me as a lover. I miss her, though. Even though she was quite mysterious, I miss our talks and the laughs we shared.

Tammy W was a 19-year-old girl I called one night who told me she had a little girl whose father left her. I told her she ought to find a woman. I also thought she’d hang up on me, but instead, she told me she thinks about that. She was too messed up to even think of getting involved. Getting involved seriously. I was too naïve still at the time to know that you can’t get involved seriously and you’re lucky if you can a few weeks or a few months with someone. Breaking up was just as common as meeting someone. No doubt more common. By now, she probably has been with a woman. As well as more men. Again, you know philosophy and that is, if you can fantasize, you can do. Except for the times I fantasize about strangling my mother when she gets on my nerves, but that’s just me, of course. That’s how I operate. It’s probably like being gay. You have a choice whether or not to act on it. Tammy was young, confused, abused and so viciously controlled by her mother. Also, she had so much legal shit going on with the father of her daughter. She was pretty, though, and looked an awful lot like Tiffany. I haven’t seen her for almost 3 years now. She was wild, though, and hung out with such creeps.

I miss Linda and Tracy more and you know how pitifully ugly they were. Now that I covered Linda and Tammy, I’m too tired to go on. I’ve done quite a bit of writing tonight but next time around, I’ll discuss Andy and Jessie and Maliheh, too. Don’t get me wrong, as I do not feel Maliheh will be any big deal, but the moment was fun. Maybe I am wrong for once but why and how can I be? I’m 25 years old, not 18. You know how I feel on that matter. The chase is much more fun than the capture. It’s really weird but with me, it’s one way or another. Either I’m bummed out cuz I’m not attracted to someone, or I’m scared when I am. Yes, it is exciting to finally have it be mutual. But can this actually be happening to me once and for all? It’s too good to be true and I’m tempted and curious but scared at the same time.

[diariesofapisces]

Hell Week Anniversary.

You know how I look to reflect on Shit and today I would like to go back to I would say the darkest time of my freshman year. It all started on February 15th when I finally got a preroll and a battery for my cart. This meant that I finally could smoke weed as much as I wanted. I felt so manic and I literally took a million videos and photos about it. After I got that battery I went insane and greened out really bad hours after I got it. I woke up the next day on the 16th and forgot how much I smoked the night before. I did a wake-and-bake before even eating with very little sleep the night before. Of course, we all know that I greened out again but this time in the line to Starbucks. I literally could not stand and I had to sit down for about 10 min. I stumbled back to my dorm without my Starbucks and I had to miss class because I was so weak and high. When I filmed a video describing the event I looked pale and so weak. As I said in my videos I smoked in the evening because I had nothing better to do. The 17th wasn't very eventful because of a horrible work shift but I knew that Spencer was going to flake out on smoking with me which stressed me out. Also, I was upset because I was supposed to go to Tucson for Shelby and Morgans's birthday party but my mom couldn't get me down there. I was super upset about this and got a joint just to smoke with Spencer. The next day, the 18th, was tragic. I thought the last time I smoked with Spencer was bad. I texted him at like 2 to see if we still had plans and he didn't respond till 6:30 that he couldn't hang out. I spent the whole day stressed about whether he was going to cancel or not and I couldn't do anything more with my time than smoke and make ranting videos. That night I said I was done with him. Spoiler I wasn't. After that day I started keeping count of how many days I had no contact with him, I made it to 4 days. On the 21st I made a tik tok depicting just how I felt, it's super fucking depressing. From then until the 23rd I was keeping the delusion that he was going to miss me and reach out in my mind, and also the one where I could go without him. The 23rd is a day I will never forget. Let me paint the picture. Spencer had invited us to go see this stupid comedian and I didn't go becuase I didn't want to waste my money. However, I did decide to hang out with them after the show ended so at 11. I didn't really want to go but I was desperate to see him and to B do something with my time. So of course I make tiktoks to pass the time and I go. And guess what happened. I was triggered by the fact then he didn't really pay attention to me and she left me to go hang out with his other friends. After he left shit hit the fan. That really fucking triggered me so I decided it would be fun to take 10 shots of the shittiest vodaka ever. I encouraged everyone to give each other hickeys and make out and stuff which led to three of my friends having a threesome. I and Gib were sitting outside the room that was happening and I was complaining about Spencer. After that, I impulsively offered up my joint and we all went outside to smoke that. After that, Gib went home becuase it was 2:30 in the morning but me and three other girls decided to keep going. During the next two hours, we all decided to drink more and make out. I decided to go for a girl I didn't know as well because there was no way I was gonna do anything with Shi or Larissa. So on the 24th, I ended up having a semi-orgy with my friends and I ate out with that girl. It was funny becuase I was doing great until I rolled over and passed out. I was still helping tho. Then after a bit, I crawled to the bathroom threw up, and passed out again. At five am I stumbled back to my room and took a nap. I woke up on the 24th and in the afternoon Spencer took me to Joan's. The night before I asked him to take me and he reluctantly agreed. I ended up having to pay him 20$ to take me to my disappointment we didn't hang out after. He just said she you around and let me know if you want to smoke.