#all i do is be bisexual. eat hot chip. and think of them

[visceravalentines]

did i just post a passenger fic yesterday? yes. am i maybe posting another fast n loose lil vignette tonight? yeah probably. whatever. leave me out of it

[vanana-r0tat3]

some pre-game batim headcanons :>

Henry: - all he does is eat hot chip be bisexual and lie /j - has a preference for women so i think him realizing hes not straight is like hey wait a minute hey wait wait - joey was his gay awakening,,, real -gets burnout super easy, it probably frustrates him a lot when he cant draw - drawing is a big comfort for him - has pretty bad social anxiety, but has become pretty good at dealing with it!

Joey: - gay. this man is not into women at all sorry 💀 "i just dont have time for girls" yeah sure fruitcake - watch me project once again and give this man bpd. like im sorry his whole thing with henry?? im not even explaining it but if you get it you get it yea - also definitely has adhd - wheelchair user !! he is able to walk, but he still needs the wheelchair when flare ups get real bad. he is stubborn though and refuses to use it at work or when hes out of the house

more under the cut !!

Wally: - he has adhd, obviously - transgender !! i feel like hes a gnc binary trans man - hes straight to me, but his gf/wife is also trans >:D t4t win - i feel like he likes to gossip. the thought of him, norman, shawn, maybe even jack whispering to eachother in a corner about some random secrets theyve overheard is super funny to me

Sammy: - AUTISM... hes autistic - gets overwhelmed and overstimulated super easily, hence why hes always so irritable - yknow what im giving him bipolar. hes my comfort character and i get to project my mental illness !! - hes gay and demiromantic - honestly? transfem i see it. bc like im thinking about how he talks about susies singing like. i know what you are - bad with boundaries.. he is so bad at them and reading social cues - hates being touched, probably is only comfortable with jack for the most part - watch him crush on like half the men mentioned in this post at least once

Norman: - hes also autistic. his sense of humor is so??? 😭 - HES ALSO DEFINITELY AN OLDER GAY GUY. he just has that energy yknow like if you agree - probably would be agender too - him and sammy are that incompatible type of autism havers does this make sense?? like some autistic people i just cant stand because of my autism, our places on the spectrum make it so hard to like them yk? thats norman and sammy - this man definitely has insomnia

Susie: - lesbian. she doesnt know it yet but she is - her calling sammy handsome isnt her being attracted to him its just gender envy 😁 - shes just a feminine transmasc 👍 - rejection sensitive dysphoria out the ASS my poor girl - very insecure deep down, so she overcompensates for it by trying to be a people pleaser n stuff

Allison: - shes bisexual !! has a strong preference for women - shes a trans woman idc idc i love her - AUTISTIC AS HELL - i imagine she had a sibling like relationship with joey - probably one of the few people that could tell him off without like. getting fired lol

Buddy: - adhd and autism,, special intrest in art/drawing - AROACE. the stuff he says about his friendship with dot?? "i didnt know we could just be friends" and him not being too into his first assumption when she pulls him away to show him the bendyland model?? yea - honestly i think he has social anxiety hes doing his best - hes very sensitive over people bringing up him being jewish, he seems so ready to be made fun of or scorned for it :( - definitely some cultural detachment because of it (im projecting again) - i think dot would wanna learn about about it, buddy should teach her stuff!! like traditions and whatnot

Tom: - asexual 👍 - TRANSGENDER. probably would be nonbinary, heavily masc leaning though - he smokes a lot have you heard this man good lord. i dont think allison is a fan of it - anger issues,, mostly caused by stress and a lack of sleep, hes trying his best :( - he has arthritis. hes not old but god do his joints fee like it. he has crutches !! like joey though he only really uses em at home 💀

Jack: - wheelchair user jack my BELOVED idk where the hc came from but im all for it - he cant walk, but is able to get around just fine! watch him try and do wheelies to impress sammy only to almost fall over - 100% autistic as well. him and sammy are able to be autism together - unlabeled aromantic - hes such a loser /loving

Grant: - poor guy gets chronic headaches someone give him some painkillers - hes got generalized anxiety disorder this man cannot get a break - demisexual and demiromantic,, mans is double demi

Shawn: - adhdtism 😭 - LOVES to talk, he could go on for hours dude - i feel like he knows a lot of ridiculously obscure knowledge. for why? dont worry about it - he gives me genderfluid vibes - literally just some guy

[rigil-kentauris]

URIANGER: 2,4, 7 OR 8 (whichever you prefer), 15-16-OR-17 (again, preference), 20, 23

RUBS MY GREEDY LITTLE HANDS TOGETHER HELL YEAH

urianger my beloved

okay let me go dig up my questions

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

I LOVE HIS THEE AND THOU-ING. I especially love the fact that. There's no reasons like culturally for him to be like this, most sharlayans talk normally, if not a touch more formally. he made himself like this. i adore it.

i forget here it is (if its an npc who says it or if its a lorebook thing) but i like the part where the lore says hes Like This because of all those damn prophecy tomes he was on as a little kid. so i just imagine tiny little urianger looking at Ye Old Prophies and COMMITTING. he is precious to me

Small thing: I also love his stupid two sets of goggles when in his Potato Sack era.

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

hmm... i feel like if i just sent him off on his own, he would wilt a bit. i would want to put him in something that gave him a fun, relaxing time, and think if thats to be accomplished I would have to send some of his People with him. he's been alone an awful lot and i see those as times that have also been or ended Bad. i think that might be something he dwells on.

OH I KNOW. okay weird one. but. BUT. hear me out. i would send him to Roller Coaster Tycoon. I know that's just technically just like a theme park but when i build them they are the BEST POSSIBLE THEME PARKS IN THE WORLD. if he could bring than, ryne, and gaia along, i just know he'd be really fulfilled by having a Fun Family Trip. i kind of see him as the guy who happily holds the bags and waits at the end of the ride. and i KNOW gaias got bags. also i feel like he is taking pictures and making the kids wear silly Park Gear. they go to some of the slow like Sitting and or Show type rides for him.

also if he was in RCT i could pick him up and Dangle him. not like malevolently but with the same emotion as I would have if I was Rotating Him

also also i have. forgotten everything ive ever read played or watched so im sure i have a better answer rolling around in there but alas.

7/8. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like/despise?

I don't actually know much about the fandom takes on Urianger. Most of what I see is people analyzing his actions w/ The Warriors of Darkness and in Shadowbringers, and I haven't seen it be unfair yet. I think, though, I am not deep in the Fandom.

OH you know what I do hate. Every now and again people will mishear a bit about 1.0, and start popping off about how ~~~~~~secretly~~~~ Urianger is ACTUALLY a millennial old WISE and SCHEMING IMMORTAL WIZARD~~~~~~. I cannot blame anyone for thinking that, but it drives me off the wall. hes a 29 year old weird PhD haver who went around at aetherytes and chanting his insane End Of The World prophecies, he wears EITHER potato sack OR a backless dress and the only thing he knows how to do other than is eat hot chip be bisexual and tell the most insane lies possible. actually come to think of it i feel like HE was the one who started the insane lie ' is ACTUALLY a millennial old WISE and SCHEMING IMMORTAL WIZARD' so. either that or it was a general team effort. im getting into the weeds here so i digress.

urianger is so weird. i love him.

15. What’s your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn’t matter if it’s canon or not.)

I'm on that Urianger/Than ship if the bit about the theme park didn't give me away lol. I also like Uri/Moen but if I had to pick one it would be Uri/Than. Uri/Moen makes me sad to think about...

16/17. What’s your least favorite ship for this character?

Lol I havehit up the archive for this one. I'm genuinely not sure what the most popular ships are for Uri outside of Thancred. My guess is Uri/WoL, then Moen. But lets see.

lmao i opened the ffxiv tag and the first fic is an Uri/Than fic ive been reading which YIPPE! its updated!

okay im back its all than/uri and some uri/WoL. there are other ships but i got to the point where there were so few it would feel like kicking a life-raft to mention them.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn’t matter?

I thought about this long and hard. I went at it from every logical angle. I took apart his characteristics, history, things he's done and to who. Interests, likes dislikes. I thought HARD.

I could NOT shake my immediate and initial thought of Estinien. I haven't got a stick to shake at my pile of evidence I just feel this in my heart.

I guess I was very impacted by uh... when was it. The Scions were in the Rising Stones, and Uri was mentioning he was going to get some books or something to try and share with Estinien to get to know him. It was the most endearing shit I have ever seen and it cut me to the bone. I think probably that attempt did not work but I do not care. GO FOR IT URIANGER! i also, i suppose, wonder how many friends Uri has every actively tried to make himself. like in childhood it seemed more like moenbryda Selected him, and that not many other kids liked him. his complicated history with the scions is complicated, but i think obviously he has to put in active effort to maintain those relationships (ESPECIALLY SINCE HE LOVE HOT CHIP LIES), but a lot of his character development w/ the scions seems more akin to 'hey this is the guy on our team we've known each other for like a decade so we are friends now' and less akin to 'hi my name is urianger can i show you some cool books'

its just intriguing to me why he did that. i hope so much it works out.

also come to think of it i dont know how many friends ESTINIEN have sought out of his own volition. he actively avoids aymeric half the time. orn kahi appears to have also gone the moenbryda route of Mine Now. tataru and krile had to actively hunt and Blackmail him into the scions. certainly i would call him friends with us now, and he cares a lot about alphinaud, but as far as Who Reached Out To Who, i think he is actually in the same boat as uri. huh.

vrtra, i think, is it. though i haven't had enough review time to say who lead that one.

now i want to see uri and estinien sitting silently in a room doing their own separate silent tasks (uri is reading a Tome, estinien is Caring For Weapons) SPECIFICALLY so i can caption it 'tag two blokes who do fuck all'. maybe its alisaie sneaking a bad blurry picture over her shoulder with her front camera and sending it to alphinaud.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

oh man i dont know. theres so much good ingame content and there SO MUCH GOOD ART and i do not have ANY of it tagged by character. let me go look.

OH NO I KNOW this is my favorite image of urianger of all time i want to cry every time i look at it. the fucking. expressions. i cant possibly describe in words how MUCH i feel when viewing this image. im going to pop.

[yuukei-yikes]

give 5 of your favorite takane headcanons plzplz *big eyes*

this has been sitting in my inbox for a few weeks cuz i was trying to come up with something i havent drawn/talked about before but whatever Lets fucking go even if i repeat shit OK FIRST OF ALL. THE FUCKING SLEEVES. takane post str keeping the ene sleeves bc of sensory issues my beloved <3 i think he rly tries to laugh it off at first kinda like in denial but eventually gives in (or like in that comic i made haruka talks her into it and how its ok a lil bit too)

i also drew this in a harutaka i posted but takane randomly giving static shock to people when they touch them ajdhnsakdjskf <- something having the long sleeves also helps with cuz that way he doesnt have to actually touch anyone. victims of this most often are haruka (by accident) and shintaro (on purpose). also its hair randomly standing up bc. static. this makes no sense ofc but i think its a funny and silly way to translate takane's power in her physical body. the more time he spends as ene the more charged with random electricity its physical body is. RIP harutaka kisses they kinda hurt. u can make the our love is electrifying joke only like 3 times before it becomes annoying. eventually takane thinks haruka becomes immune but in reality he just gets used to it

this is kinda canon ig cuz of that saiyuki comic abt enoshima(was it enoshima. i might be misremembering LOL whatever the picture contest one) where its implied shes been playing for a living so streamer vtuber ene REAL. a hit bc its an insane fucking model to have. when asked who made it enes just like ohh sorry the guy who made is my teacher who died lol!!! maybe theres a bunch of conspiracy videos abt it because ene stops going online for 2 years and then theyre back but instead of a silent stream like it always was its THIS. huge hit though. its awesome. streamer takane is so real not only does he use its power for a job but its also basically "kay time to go to work *falls asleep*" takane being the only? mekadan guy who actually loves their power and actively uses it post str will never not be funny they/she/he/it takane btw. if you even care. bisexual nonbinaries eating hot chip and lying. blue hair AND pronouns. ALSO THE BLUE HAIR ive also drawn this a few times but takane chopping all its hair off+dyeing it blue my beloved. post str takane is never rly drawn with the long hair he has when she gets his body back but ummm i think itd be funny if post str they had it and cut it straight to short from there. i do not want to see the no9 novel ever tbh im fine with it being buried and dead but omg....takane design without the stupid fucking pigtails im BEGGING id kill to see a canon takane design without them. but i live in my delusion and in it theres short blue hair and pronouns!!!

not so much of a takane headcanon more of a general one but also sort of related. im so fascinated by what saeru must've told haruka and takane's parents. haruka was gonna die anyway so his dad wouldnt be surprised but theres No Body? i think for him he was probably a little gaslighted abt seeing him dead and by how he is described maybe he wouldve been fine with never looking at his son dead+convinced to have a closed casket by his old pal mr tateyama and just buried an empty casket for haruka.

but for takanes grandma its so complicated bc she had no REASON to have takane disappear like that. basically i think saeru gaslights gatekeeps girlbosses so hard like gaslights both’s parents to hell and back but especially takanes grandma bc harukas dad is more or less covered but with all its money and resources it can cover up haruka and takanes disappearances altogether so takanes just. Gone. and this poor womans rly has no answers, no closure, no nothing. takane just vanishes!!! grandma enomoto protagonist when. i think itd be funny if she went full on old woman conspiracy theory mode or just tries to move on with this huge mystery behind. takane and grandma reunion i want to see it. haruka with his dad too tbh im rly curious what theyd tell them and what theyve been told LOL

i think haruka and takane dont go back to their families immediately bc they have no fucking clue what to even say so they stay in the hideout for the time being (would the dan move to the tateyama house post str? i read this in a fic once i think itd make sense and i always go sniff sniff imagining mekatrio+mary saying goodbye to the 107 apt). but for takane it sort of becomes urgent bc um it starts becoming apparent she needs its meds and the dan does NOT have the funds so while haruka can wait it out takane is like forced to go back home. i think at first takane would try to pull thru bc with its powers he can still hang out and stuff but its rather haruka/shintaro/ayano being like UMMMM... YEA U NEED UR MEDS. yuukei quartet visiting enomoto grandma WHEN!!!!!!they go 4 emotional support/help to explain i thinks. i think they wouldve known her back then too cuz in the sixth novel haruka mentions they go to takane's house for ayano's bday party after the gaming event.

ummm... sorry this got long. sits down. sry theyre all moslty post str headcanons LOL post str my beloved

[who-is-shades]

You Decide

What Happaned to Shades?

You cannot speak to them directly.

Only influence events happening around them.

Will you assist?

Or sully their chances?

Get answers?

Or make new questions?

At the end of the day

Do your choices matter?

One way or another

They got out of the door.

----------------------

FAQ:

'what is this?' hey, im veve, aka shades. i made a charactor, they interacted with some sweet rp blogs, wound up someplace weird and then got rescued.

'who is shades?' wouldnt you wanna know weather boy?

'is there multiple endings?' much like deltarune, its more about choices.

'can i speak to them?' not directly. get creative. fuck with the environment! toss in a tv! play a song! steal their dinner!

'what answers am i looking for?' i dunno you gotta ask them bud.

'favorite deltarune/undertale song?' Undertale and Vs Susie!

'fav charactors?' Papyrus and Susie!

'this seems cheap just tells us!' but have you considered no?

'shade pronouns?' she/they

'should i keep track of any of this?' shades has 0 effect on any main rp blog so you can decide if you think something is interesting or not

'THEMIS!' yes

'CHARA!' yes

'can i kill shades?' HA you can certaintly try

'what was with the weird glitchy lyrics?' music speaks to the SOUL.

'what if i wanna tag you?' see the tags and thank you

'will you update this when we get new answers?' yeah sure

-----------------

Key Item: Journal. Useless Key. 1 Lunar Tear. 1 Bike. 1 Lazer Duck Phone Charm. Red Balloon.

Items: Several Notebooks, Papers, and Pencils. 1 Working Cell Phone. 1 Cellphone repair kit. 1 small slinky. 1 wallet. 1 guitar. 1 MTT brand chapstick. 1 Phone Charger. 1 Portable Battery Pack. Flappy Bird Game. 1 Flashlight. AA Batteries. Town Map. LockPick. Castle Map. Pokeball. Bandages. 1 med kit. 1 fox plush. 1 numbert plush. 1 Numbert math dvd. 1 Magic Liquid Holding Bottle. 1 Lancer gameboy. 1 Plants VS Zombies. Moss Cook Book. Shades Coupon. Geiger Counter. Powerful Flashlight.

Food: 1 Bottled Water. 2 candy bars. Trail Mix. 1 Bottle of pain meds. 1 cheesecake. 1 Apple. 1 Steamed/Grilled Ham. 1 Gaster Stew. 1 Endless bag of Temmie Flakes. 1 Legendary Hero.

Equipment: 1 Machete. 1 Worn Dagger. 1 Manly Bandana. 1 Jeweled Necklace. 1 pair of sunglasses. 1 magic wand. Cowboy Hat. Powerful Tranq Gun. 1 Wayward Compass. 1 Fury of the fallen. 1 Magic Headphones. 1 2-uses shrinkray. Salt spray bottle. Compass. Umbrella.

Prisoners: Radiance (Hollow Knight-Shrunk). Necrotic Heart. Flowey (in a pokeball).

-------------

Main Crew

Shades Equipped: Silver Giant Anime Sword. Color changing cowboy hat. Gravity Boots. Medieval Armor. Toy Car.

Themis Equipped: Finger Gun. Color changing cowboy hat.

------------

Summoned Party Members

Ralsei Equipped:

Spade King Equipped:

Rouxls Caard Equipped: Box Armor.

Lancer Equipped: Dragon Armor. Power Armor.

Bob Temmie Equipped: Confetti Cannon. Rocket Launcher.

Prunsel Equipped: Eye Helmet. Pyrocrypt Spell.

Numbert and family Equipped: Spade Pin.

Spamton Equipped: Void Heart.

Sweet Capn KK Equipped:

----------------

Info Gained: Bisexual (eat hot chip and lie). Its dark and rainy. Door is gone. Has never repaired a phone. Seems to have killed before. Apparently magical. Has God on speed dial. Photos on phone. Can take photos. Animals live here. Shades can LockPick. Anons can control Themis. Dangerous 'Darkners' are around. Anons can summon party members during combat. Anons can access saves. Shades used to garden. A giant space worm named Zalgo The Infinite Devourer protects the ask box. Future Shades is married. Changed Fightbox to Spells.

ANONS AND PLAYERS HAVE REGAINED SOME CONTROL.

------------------

Enemies found: Glitch Knight. Matrix Lost Maids. Down Poured Doctor. Elegant Zombie. Priest. Fountain King.

------------------

Locations found: All Black Forest. Dark River Bridge. Town. House.

Castle. Dark Fountain. Ballroom. Infirmery. Garden. Kitchen. Princess Tower. Cathedral. Graveyard.

[doctorcollege]

no sympathetic voices anywhere

(there's blood in my hair)

i've been listening 2 this song all day while thinking about these bastards and so this is the terrible product of that

( click 4 better quality - reblogs > likes - @arrowsmelancholydotjpeg )

[kirnet]

kirnet x atton (but not really lol). 2.2k words. Dxun sucks ass

Despite everything that she had done as Revan’s left hand, Kirnet believed in the light side of the Force. It moved through every living creature; every sentient, beast, and plant (and droid, Kirnet had argued at every opportunity with Malak as Revan laughed at their squabbling). Therefore, everything deserved compassion and humility, from the Grand Chancellor of the Republic to the smallest insect. As flawed as she found her old masters, she still clung to their belief that all life was precious, even when they couldn’t bring themselves to live and die by their own teachings.

As hard as had been since taking over the Ebon Hawk, Kirnet tried to follow this philosophy. Of course, sometimes it couldn’t be helped that the occasional mercenary needed an emergency amputation or that a Sith assassin got gently helped over the side of one of Nar Shaddaa’s lofty gangways. But, to Kreia’s frustration, Kirnet tried to be kind. She had done her share of harm in the war. Harm that she could feel seeping from the scarred surface of Dxun into her bones as she circled the Hawk, checking for any damage from their recent run in with Onderon’s fleet.

Harm that she was about to unleash all over again if these kriffing mosquitos wouldn’t leave her alone.

She waved her hand around her ear, trying to gently signal to the offending creature (Yes, creature, she reminded herself. A creature that can feel the Force just as well as the people on my ship) that it should get lost. For the moment, it took the hint and buzzed off. Kirnet sighed, her shoulders relaxing as she wiped the sweat from her brow. Dxun wasn’t just hot, it was humid. Oppressive. It sat on her shoulders and pressed her down into the overgrown earth. She was well aware of what lay buried under the tall grass. Ship fragments. Mandalorian armor. That overeager Jedi with the lopsided smile, just knighted the week before, who always sat at her right in the mess hall and offered her their leftover gruel. They had the funniest laugh, she remembered.

The tall grass tickled her calf, bringing Kirnet back to her senses. She forced her right foot forward, then her left, until she was back on her lazy path around the pockmarked Hawk. Her hand fell to her bare neck, where she could already feel the bumps left by Dxun’s own insect fleet beginning to form.

Sure, it’s not in mint condition, and there's damage from Onderon’s “Welcoming Committee”, but I don’t see why Atton needs to spend all of his time-

Buzz.

The kriffing bug was back. 

Or maybe one of it’s friends. No, Kirnet was sure it was the same one. It was here to spite her. Punish her for everything she had done to this moon. Her fists clenched at her side as she closed her eyes, partly to relax herself, and partly to keep the insect from successfully diving into them.

This was a living being, a fellow creature of the galaxy. A being deserving of a Jedi’s compass-

Was there another fucking one?

There was! The droning was twofold around her head. Pressure built behind Kirnet’s eyes and pushed up on her feet and down on her shoulders. It pushed and squeezed on all sides like a vice as the swarm grew and stabbed at her eardrums. That nasally, buzzing laugh. Kirnet had made a joke at Malak’s expense. The table had laughed along with her. What was that knight’s name again?

Her hands snapped open, leaving her with blissful quiet as the mosquitos hung suspended in the air. Force, she would embrace any ancient Sith teaching to be able to suspend every mosquito on this Force forsaken planet at once. Anything to get that incessant droning to stop. Maybe Bao-Dur would make her another Mass Shadow Generator. 

Wow. Revan had really rubbed off on her.

“Uh, Kirnet? Everything alright?”

She released the insects at the voice, not even noticing their stuttering buzzing as she turned to Atton. He had eschewed his usual jacket for his undershirt, currently drenched in sweat and rolled up past his pale forearms. Kirnet tried to blink the dots from her eyes. Or were they mosquitoes?

“Kirnet?”

“Hmm?”

“I asked if everything was alright?” He was closer now, brow furrowed as he leaned in. Kirnet could feel his gaze ghost up her arms and over her swelling neck.

Mustering a flimsy smile, she shrugged. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Whatever assessment he was making of her had apparently concluded. Atton’s eyes hardened again as he waved his hydrospanner in her face. “Because you raised the temperature by about ten degrees, and it does not need to get any kriffing hotter on this planet.” He looked down at his own shirt, his face contorted in disgust. “Just look at me,” he grumbled.

Kirnet crossed her arms and leaned against the Hawk’s landing foot, her homicidal ideations towards insect-kind long forgotten. “I don’t know about that. I quite like the heat,” she lied, ignoring the fat bead of sweat running down her forehead, and held out her hand. Atton rolled his eyes and released the spanner, Kirnet snatching it up with the Force from his open hand. Space, it felt wonderful to be able to do that again. She studied it for a second before turning her attention back to the ship. “And labor makes you warm, flyboy,” she quipped. “I know you’ve never worked a day in your delicate life-”

“Excuse me?” Kirnet sniggered at Atton’s predictable outburst, a quiet laugh behind his words betraying his amusement. “I’ve spent all day working on this hunk of scrap metal and this is the thanks I get?” He scoffed and leaned on the support next to Kirnet, their arms brushing together. “Delicate! Delicate she calls me!”

With a snort, she dropped her head onto his sweaty shoulder. Atton jumped the tiniest amount, so subtle that even Kirnet almost missed it, before leaning into her. “I do appreciate everything you’re doing, Atton,” she said, smirk dropping to a faint smile. He just nodded, his proximity ruffling Kirnet’s damp hair. She didn’t need to say it. He already knew.

“Though,” she drawled, pointing at the Hawk’s durasteel underbelly with the hydrospanner. Atton looked up with her, his cheek leaving the top of her head. The chill set in again. She hadn’t noticed it had left. “You could work a bit faster. The sooner you finish taking your sweet time the sooner we can get off of this hell planet.”

Cursing, Atton snatched the tool from her hand, throwing out his arms as he made his way to another battle scar in the ship’s hull. Kirnet giggled at the theatrics, the sincerity of the moment before slipping into their usual routine. “I stay behind and slave in the heat while you guys go off and -”

“And get eaten alive by bugs and bigger things.” Kirnet cut him off. Her smile dropped as she stepped closer to him. “Atton, you’re the one insisting on staying back. I’d much rather leave Bao-Dur and T3 here and take you with.” She tried to convince herself it was because Atton was much better with mines than her. (Though Mira was undoubtedly the best and was already going to be in her party. She hurriedly pushed the connotations of that thought aside.) Dxun was littered with them from the Mandalorian occupation, and while her soldiers had cleared as many as they could at the time, there were doubtless thousands more that had been missed. That Jedi had stepped on one, she blankly recalled. Their legs had flown off in two opposite directions. They had advanced on her orders.

Atton swallowed hard. “You think that droid can repair the Hawk better than I can?” Despite his tone, his voice lost it’s playful bite. 

“Yes. And so can Bao-Dur. Much faster, too.” Atton pointedly ignored her, now apparently immersed in sealing the blaster hole. Kirnet sighed and closed the distance between them. Gently, she put her hand on Atton’s, his knuckles white around the hydrospanner. He turned it off but didn’t move his gaze from the hull. “I understand not wanting to go out into the jungle,” she laughed mirthlessly. “And I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to. But, Atton, if something is wrong-”

“No!” he started too forcefully, wincing as Kirnet withdrew her hand. “No,” he said again, finally turning to look at her. “Nothing’s wrong. As boring as it is I’d rather be here than on the receiving end of a landmine.” Kirnet shrugged. No argument there. “It’s really nothing too complicated. It’ll just take a while.” His face split into a smug smile as he leaned forward against the Hawk, his arm now above her head. Kirnet noticed it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Unless you want to be crammed in an access hatch with me for a day or two.” He had the audacity to wink.

Ah. There it was. The flirtatious deflection. Usually, Kirnet would be more than happy to join in the banter, but the growing vignette around her vision and the hammering in her skull put an end to that line of thought. Fine, he didn’t want to talk about it, and Kirnet was not eager for a real argument, not one of their usual playful spats. Maybe he felt the painful chill in his bones like she did despite the sweltering heat. He was getting stronger in the Force, after all. Or was there something else he wasn’t telling her?

Maybe he just didn’t want to be the latest victim of her leadership on Dxun.

Kirnet rubbed her arms, the chill seeping in further. “I don’t want to go out there any more than you do,” she grumbled. “But something tells me that we won’t get to leave until I find-” She paused, her face contorting as she gestured vaguely towards the jungle. “Something.” Perhaps an old base? The final assault on the Mandalorians, the suicide mission she had ordered, had taken place at one of these abandoned strongholds. If she stumbled onto one, would she recognize it? Or would it be just another scar, long since scabbed over by the eager jungle?

“Suit yourself.” Atton shrugged, pushing his mop of hair out of his face and quickly turning back to the blaster hole. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Nothing special, I’m sure,” Kirnet deadpanned, already starting towards the Hawk’s entrance. “I’m leaving T3- no, do not start with that. Be nice and let him help. And take time to do your meditations. We’ll be back before sundown. Hopefully.”

“Anything else?” Atton scoffed.

Kirnet paused. “Yes, actually. Just a word of advice. After you admit to someone that most of the words that come out of your mouth are lies, it’s easier to tell when you’re not telling the truth.” Atton opened his mouth, but Kirnet put out a hand to stop him. “No need to explain. You’ve already come forward with enough. But if you are stalling repairs for some reason, Atton, then I hope you’re filling your free time with something productive.”

Expression hardening into a scowl, he turned back to the damage. “I’ll get right on that, General,” he all but snarled.

Of course, General. What are your orders?

The migraine hit Kirnet with renewed vigor, almost knocking her to the ground. It took all her effort to keep her shoulders square. “Stay safe,” she mumbled at the grass. “Try not to let the bugs eat you alive. Comlink’s open if you need me.” She didn’t wait for a reply before heading up the hangar door.

“Stay safe,” is what he wanted to shout back. “Keep your head on a swivel, and I’ll come running if you need me.” Atton opened his mouth, then closed it, then settled on grinding his teeth as he listened to Kirnet’s retreating footsteps. The patch of flattened grass that she had stood on moments before tried in vain to stretch back up to its original height.  “Nice going, shutta,” he groaned. No one was around to hear him.

A mosquito landed on his arm. He slapped it before getting back to work.

[bruhbrosworld]

When They Know They're In Love With You

Loki Laufeyson x reader (reader is gender neutral)

-all this man knows is be bisexual, style, self-loathing, daggers, eat hot chip, and lie

-so this is a bit, if not all the way, out of his comfort zone

-he doesn't notice anything too out of the ordinary for awhile, but something does feel off about his reaction to you

-he assumes it's just because you're nice, and you may be of use to him at some point, but something about the way you play with his hair to tease him has him a little...out of his body

-when you lean against him, elbow on his shoulder, for the first time in his long life, he can't think of a clever jab or a smug remark

-and when you spar, he stumbles and mistakes one foot for another when you jokingly compliment his hands

-it's completely and utterly unnatural

-this disarray you cause in him must be something of your doing. magic, deceit, illusion. whatever, however, it only needs to be stopped.

-he can't sleep without imagining you sleeping next to him, he doesn't eat without wondering what you've eaten first, and he has the insatiable desire to be near you.

-ALL THE TIME

-it's a little suffocating at times, because whenever you're in the vicinity, he seems to just stick himself to your side.

-he tells himself it's simply because he wants to understand what kind of game you're playing, and why you've chosen to play it with him.

-but, he rarely ever gets to such a point when you distract him with your brand new shade of eyeshadow, or your gifted pair of earrings

-i mean, really, you have to know how marvelously intoxicating the color green looks on you

-he's once again a little boy playing tricks on thor in the palace.

-he pokes fun at you endlessly, fools you with that bemused glint in his eye, pranks you with merciless intent, and is put out when he finds you're too smart for him accomplish it

-really, more often than not, he's the one making a fool out of himself. and the worst part is that he seems to like it somewhat. he likes that you know him so well and still choose to let him try his hand anyway.

-at some point, the soft upper hand you have on him begins to drive him wild, to mere insanity

-you must know what you do to him. surely, this card you continuously play is something you do to torture him. you have to know, or else....

-or else.

-what else could there be?

-once, while he and thor make plans to return to asgard, he asks to bring you with them.

-the thought of him being there, and you being somewhere else is oddly uncomfortable. the thought of you having fun without him is even more unbearable.

-with the image alone, the smiles you may gift to someone else, any exuberant jeers you hand to another seizes his chest.

-thor isn't the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but he notices the odd way his brother says it, the nature of the question, and the fact that they won't be home for long enough for you to even really enjoy the experience

-coyly, with a simple jest, thor muses that loki must care for you a lot. enough to want to keep you with him for an in-and-out trip.

-and with it, his older, golden brother tears his entire argument away and presents the most painless, and uncomplicated answer

-he denies it at first. vehemently.

-of course he didn't care for you in such a way. he only wanted to let you glimpse his gilded home to humble you a bit. of course, that's why. he could never care for someone so...so..so

-thor was not convinced, but he didn't press further

-but i think the moment comes not long after. the moment when he would become the most agonized of fools if he decided to still refuse such solid evidence.

-evidence that proved that he did, in fact, care for you.

-it's after he arrives back from his same trip to asgard.

-he ended up completely forgoing the idea of asking you to come, so much so he even omitted to say goodbye before he left.

-the journey was disagreeable, and the stay was even more miserable. somehow, in a world of what he thought extraordinary people, he was dissatisfied. no one engaged with his japes, no one cleverly foiled his plans, no one knew him.

-no one was like you. and for once, he dwelled on it instead of retaliating. the loneliness was far more sore now that he had a taste of something different. all of his life he'd never quite felt like he had found an equal in anyone.

-until you.

-he's sure of something but he's not sure of what that something is until he finds you, late into the night after everyone has decided to sleep, waiting up for him.

-it startles him, admittedly. the silhouette of you in the gentle light, lingering against a kitchen counter with a slumped posture.

-something is troubling you. it's not hard to tell.

-and when he asks you what's bothering you, straight out, you jump with surprise and whirl around. and the look in your eye...

-oh, the look in your eye shoots directly through his heart. it's devastatingly relieved, pleasantly aching. steely with something exhilarating.

-he can barely function when you ask him the same. it darts out of your mouth with abandon, questioning why he left without a farewell. was it something you said, did? was it because he just didn't care to?

-and the pieces fall into their place, click, and light up inside his head.

-he wasn't the only one in shambles. you felt what he felt, too.

-it was never a jest, it was never a lie. you just liked him because you liked him. there was no ulterior motive to be had.

-and almost as if you can't get any more peculiar, you offer him a cookie.

-a cookie? at a time like this? when you're blasting his heart to smithereens only to re-assemble it.

-and you explain that you made them for him to say you're sorry. to make amends for something you weren't even sure if you did. plus, it made for a nice welcome home offering.

-ah.

-there it is.

-that's why. that's what else there could be.

-you're so outlandish, so strangely admirable and purely intentional. you treat him with a respect that's foreign to him.

-one that he did not have to earn.

-your jokes, your exasperated sighs, your mind so brilliant and sharp. a dagger of it's own.

-he can only laugh. and laugh he does. what else can he do in the face of such a simple, yet world-shattering thing.

-fuck, he's in love with you. loki

[kingexpl0sionmurder]

Mutual Misunderstandings - Kirishima Eijirou - Smut

Author: @kingexpl0sionmurder​​ Pairing: Kirishima Eijirou / F!Reader Rating: 18+ (Contains smut) Words: 5,866 Warnings: Quirkless AU, Aged up characters (they adulty adults!), unprotected vaginal sex, oral (male receiving), very very light choking, reader has a bit of a size kink. AN: Another entry for the BNHAREM collab! This time we’re writing roommates, and I somehow managed to snag Kirishima! I’m super excited for all of the fics coming this time around, so make sure you click on the link below and read some of the other submissions!

This is my first time writing Kirishima and I’m super nervous about it. I’ve always really loved him because he’s just the best boy and he’s so brave and strong and gentle and I just want to cuddle him into oblivion. I also firmly believe he’s going to be a huge tank of a man when he gets older and I’m going with that vision of him here.

Collab Masterlist is HERE My Masterlist is HERE Buy me a KoFi if you’re feeling froggy HERE

------

You stood in your living room, your jaw hanging open, staring at him in shock. Kirishima had a similar look on his face, the two of you pointing at each other like that Spider-Man meme. 

“You mean to tell me you’ve had a crush on me this whole time?” You finally choked out, blinking owlishly at your best friend and roommate. “I thought you liked Mina!”

Kirishima sputtered, shaking his head. “No way! She’s my friend, we’ve known each other since middle school, you know that.” He moved to cross his arms across his broad chest. “And anyway, there’s no way you like me, you have a crush on Bakugou!”

There was no way this was happening right now. “No! I don’t like Bakugou like that! He’s a pain in my fucking ass, and I think about murdering him on a daily basis.” Facepalming, you groaned. “Are we really this stupid?”

How did you end up here?

It started back in your first year of college. 

The parties and the seemingly endless studying had become a comfortable routine for you. So what if you were sleep-deprived and living on cup noodles? You were getting your higher education and ready to tackle the real world head-on in just a few short years.

A pipe dream, but still.

You had your best friend Shinsou by your side and a customer loyalty card at the campus coffee shop and everything was right with the world. You’d even managed to get paired up with Hitoshi’s (sort of) boyfriend for an English project, which was a better outcome than what you could have hoped for, not having to work with some rando on something that would be a large chunk of your grade.

Kaminari had suggested that you work on it at his place with the promise of Doritos, and you agreed. Who were you to turn down snacks? Poor college students needed those cheese dusted carbs to survive. 

The Upsilon Alpha fraternity was one of the best and most popular on campus, and at first, you found it almost laughable that Kaminari was a member. At first glance, he seemed like a total space cadet stoner who didn’t belong in college, much less as a member of such an esteemed frat. However, after getting to know him, you knew that he was most definitely all of those things, but he was also insanely smart when it counted and kept above average grades in his classes (except for math, but with him being a bisexual disaster human, it came with the territory).

You had made some decent progress on your project after about an hour. The outline was done, and you were discussing how you would be presenting it since you had a choice between a written essay or a PowerPoint presentation. 

Without warning, the kitchen door flew open, the doorknob slamming into the wall behind it.

“Well, the quiet was nice while it lasted, huh?” Kaminari blinked, completely unfazed by the commotion, leaning back in his chair and eating a chip.

Your gaze flitted over to the man who was glaring at the two of you from the doorway, his hands shoved in his pockets. Blonde hair that looked so much like an explosion was sticking up in every direction on his head, and you felt his red eyes trained on you as he took in the room. “What are you doing, Dunceface?”

Kaminari didn’t answer right away, raising his eyebrow and grinning at the new arrival. “Hey, Kacchan.”

If the bulging vein in the man’s forehead was any indication, Kaminari had said the wrong thing. He opened his mouth, and you assumed it was to threaten your project partner, but he was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder from behind.

“Bakubro, be nice. Kami has company.” 

The man that appeared beyond the angry pomeranian took your breath away. He was...big. Like, his shoulders were so wide you wondered how he was going to fit through the doorway. And he was tall, with spiked red hair making him look even taller, big red eyes and sharp teeth, and the most beautiful smile you’d ever laid eyes on.

Blonde and grumpy grumbled, moving aside to let giant and red into the room, who then turned that megawatt million-dollar smile on you, and you tried your best not to stare at his biceps or the way his shirt clung to his chest.

Was it hot in here all of a sudden?

“Hi! I’m Kirishima, and this ray of sunshine is Bakugou, we’re some of Kaminari’s frat brothers!” He held out his hand for you to shake, and you smiled up at him, taking his giant hand in yours. The size of his fingers sent your brain reeling, and you knew you needed to get yourself under control before you started moaning out loud in front of him. 

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you! Kami and I are just working on an English project.” You explained, grinning back up at him, trying to keep the lust off of your face. You didn’t want to look like some kind of freak.

He took his hand back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, you must be Shinsou’s friend! Kami told us you’d be coming over, I forgot about that.” He turned, watching as Bakugou slunk over to the fridge and opened the door. “Don’t let us bother you, we’re just grabbing some water before we head to the gym.”

Kaminari snorted. “Dude, if you get any beefier we’re going to need to remodel the doors so you can fit through them.”

Kirishima turned as red as his hair, glancing at you, before he grinned at his friend. “If I stop, no one will be able to bench press you and Sero at the same time at the next party.”

“Bro, that is my favorite party trick of yours.” He sat up straighter, looking forlorn at the thought of it not happening anymore. “Okay, fine, go to the gym.”

Bakugou grumbled from behind him something that sounded like “I could bench press four of you if I wanted to.”

“Of course you could, buddy.” Kirishima slung his arm over Bakugou’s shoulder. “Okay, we’re out of here. It was nice to meet you, Y/N. Good luck with your project!”

Bakugou grunted and shoved a water bottle at Kirishima, shrugging out from under his arm and leaving the room. Kirishima smiled at you when you said goodbye, hurrying after his sour-faced friend and leaving you and Kaminari to your work.

“Your housemates are...interesting.” You managed, still trying to wrap your head around the red-haired man.

Kaminari snorted. “Kirishima is the walking definition of sunshine, and Bakugou is...well, he takes some getting used to. But he’s not a bad guy.”

You just hummed, chewing on your pen absently. “Can he actually bench press you?”

“Fuck yeah. He does it one-handed. You should come to our next party and see for yourself.”

Keeping your face as neutral as possible, you nodded. “Maybe I can convince Shinsou to come with me.” Wiggling your eyebrows at Kaminari when he blushed, you turned back to the notebook that lay open in front of you. “Come on, let’s figure this out so we can talk more about your intentions with my best friend.”

--

You did show up to the next UA frat party, Shinsou in tow. Your purple-haired bestie was grumbling the whole way, his hands shoved in his pockets. It didn’t stop him from making fun of how short your skirt was and teasing you about how you’d done nothing but talk about Kirishima since the day you’d met him.

“He’s like Clifford the Big Red Dog, Y/N. Clumsy and adorable.”

“He’s definitely big. I’d like to climb him like a tree.” You linked your arm with his, walking up to the giant house, the windows already rattling with the bass pumping through the speakers inside.

“You’re disgusting. I am appalled and also proud to call you my best friend.” Sarcastic as usual, he let you drag him along without a fuss.

“That sounds about right.”

The party was in full swing, half the campus milling around inside the house with red plastic cups in hand. You found Kaminari almost immediately, shoving Shinsou towards him and making your way to the kitchen to find yourself a drink. 

“Y/N!” Kirishima was in front of you almost immediately, giant cat eyes and his shark tooth smile lighting up the room. “Kami mentioned you might show up!”

Blushing, you nodded, suddenly losing the ability to form words. He was wearing a tank top, his arm muscles on display, and you took a moment to thank the Lord for the blessing before you. 

“You want a drink?” 

You realized you were staring, so you cleared your throat and smiled at him. “Yes, please.”

His large hand wrapped around your elbow gently as he tugged you through the crowd in the kitchen and out towards the back porch. You tried not to think about how your skin was burning under his touch. You needed to get a grip.

He got to work on the keg, pumping the handle on the top and grabbing you a cup, tilting it a bit as he filled it with beer. 

“Hey, shitty hair! Beer pong!” You turned to see Bakugou standing on the other side of the large wooden deck, his arm resting on the shoulder of a tall and lanky brown-haired boy. “Sero here wants to break up the dream team! Find a partner!”

Kirishima chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, hang on!” He turned to you, handing you your drink. “So, you play beer pong?”

Bringing the cup to your lips, you tilted your head back and chugged your beer, wiping your mouth off with the back of your hand when you’d finished. Kirishima was staring at you with wide eyes, looking surprised but pleased. “Yeah. I’m better when I’m drunk, though.”

He held out his hand for the empty cup, moving to fill it up again, his grin never faltering. “Let’s go kick their asses.”

--

That was the beginning of your friendship with Kirishima. What had started as a crush on the red-haired man had turned into a companionship that you couldn’t ever see yourself without. That was why you never said a word about how you really felt.

As cliché as it was, you didn’t know how you’d survived without the guy. He was nothing short of amazing. He was a great listener, and he gave good advice. He was always there when you needed him, bringing you soup when you were sick, going on late-night snack runs when you were up all night studying for exams, showing up with chocolate and tampons when it was your time of the month.

Shinsou had always done those things for you, but he was spending a lot of time with his boyfriend now. You weren’t upset about it though, you thought they were the cutest and you didn’t want to third wheel their time together, so you hung out with Kirishima and Bakugou a lot more often. 

As Kaminari had told you on that first day, Bakugou truly wasn’t a bad guy. His attitude got on your nerves though, and you envisioned punching him in the face at least four times a day, but you didn’t dislike him. He and Kirishima were best friends, so he was a part of the package, and you learned to deal with him.

So it was a no-brainer when Kirishima and Bakugou approached you and asked if you wanted to get an apartment with them once you’d graduated. With the three of you living together, you were able to afford a nicer apartment than you’d ever dreamed of having that was in a central location and only a few train stops away from where your respective jobs were located.

Things were going well, and you’d done a decent job of keeping your true feelings for Kirishima to yourself. It helped that he’d never dated anyone, and you were free to lust after him quietly, under the impression that no one had caught on to how you really felt, perfectly content to continue as you had been since the day you’d met him. 

The only wrench in your plans of quiet pining was Mina Ashido.

Mina was awesome, and you loved her to pieces. She was one of the only other females in your friend group and had been around since you’d gotten closer to the boys in the frat that first year of college. She was the perfect person to go to when you needed some self-care nights, always down to put on a face mask and paint your nails, and she was the best shopping partner.

However, you were thoroughly convinced that Kirishima liked her. 

You’d noticed, as far back as your freshman year, how they always gravitated towards each other in social settings. Mina was always one of the last ones to leave when you went out back then, always the one Kirishima threw his arm around when you walked back to campus from the bar.

It was part of the reason you’d become close with Bakugou in the first place. Whenever Kiri was with Mina, you always sidled up to the explosive blonde, teasing him to distract yourself from the way your heart was squeezing in your chest. 

Neither of them had ever mentioned having more than just a platonic, friendly relationship with each other, but you couldn’t shake the feeling you got whenever you saw them together.

It’s called jealousy, you idiot.

You had nothing to be jealous about though. Kirishima was your friend, and that’s all he would ever be.

--

Things had been going well, at least that’s what you’d thought. And then this morning had happened.

It was Saturday, which was your normal grocery shopping day. You and Bakugou had taken on the burden of shopping for groceries for the apartment. You’d allowed Kirishima to go once and he came home with more junk food than should be allowed in one cart, and half of the things on the list you’d given him missing, and more protein powder than should be legally allowed.

Bakugou had worked out a system and your grocery shopping trips were like a well-oiled machine that took no longer than an hour out of your day, and you were grateful for your grumpy friend and his penchant for being overly organized.

You finished getting dressed, ready to get this over with so you could use the rest of the day to play video games and be generally lazy. Walking into the living room, you stopped in your tracks to see your roommates glaring at each other, which was normal for one of them, and uncharacteristic for the other.

“Everything okay?” Your eyes darted between the two men, taking in Kirishima’s stiff posture and clenched jaw. 

“Fine. I’m going shopping alone today.” Bakugou grunted, turning away from his best friend.

Puzzled, you frowned. “What? Why?”

Bakugou stopped in the doorway, turning to face the both of you, looking thoroughly fed up. He lifted his hand and pointed. “The two of you are making me want to commit myself. I’ve been dealing with this shit for years, and it ends today. You’re in love with each other. Figure your shit out and fuck already. I’ll be out for the rest of the day.”

You gaped after him as he turned again, giving you both the middle finger over his shoulder as he left, the door slamming shut behind him.

And that brings us up to speed.

“Are we really this stupid?” You asked, shutting your eyes and leaning your head back.

Kirishima sighed. “This doesn’t make any sense. Since when?”

Snorting, you flopped down on the couch, rubbing at your face tiredly. “Truthfully? Since the moment we met.” You guessed the cat was out of the bag, so you might as well tell him everything. “In the kitchen at the frat house.”

“When you came over to work on that project with Denki?” His eyebrows furrowed, an adorably confused look on his face. “Are you telling me I’ve been pushing you at Bakugou for nearly 5 years for no reason?”

“Yeah, you could stop doing that at any time and I would appreciate it. Unless you want me to strangle him to death.”

Kirishima flopped down on the other end of the couch, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “I’ve liked you just as long, you know? I saw you sitting in our kitchen and I thought I was going to throw up.”

“If that was supposed to make me feel good about myself then you’ve failed miserably.”

“No! I just mean, the butterflies-” He groaned. “Shut up and let me get this out okay?” 

Smirking at him, you turned your body, leaning against the back of the couch. “Okay, sorry, keep going.”

Taking a deep breath, he continued, red eyes trained on your face. “Do you remember the frat party?”

“Which one?”

“That first one, when you chugged that beer in front of me and then helped me kick Bakugou’s ass at beer pong?” He waited for you to nod before he spoke again. “I’d never felt so enamored with anyone in my entire life.” Kirishima let his gaze fall to his hands. “You were so awesome and funny and beautiful and you kept up with my friends and their dumbass antics like a pro and I just...I couldn’t believe you were real. I just kept telling myself that you would never be into someone like me, so I decided that if we could be friends for life then that would be enough.”

“Ei…” You trailed off, frowning. You’d always known he tended to get down on himself. You and Bakugou had done your best to convince him he was worth much more than he let himself believe, but sometimes he needed a reminder.

“I know, I know. I don’t feel that way anymore, but at the time I did.” His hair was down, tied back in a loose bun, bits of his fringe falling in his eyes. He pushed a piece of it behind his ear and kept going. “So I tried to keep my distance, kept on hanging around with Mina, tried not to think about how much I wanted to be with you. She kept telling me I needed to tell you, kept rubbing it in that I wasn’t being manly about it. But you were hanging out with Bakugou so much I just figured you liked him and I didn’t want to get in the way.”

Closing your eyes, you let your head fall forward. “I was hanging out with Bakugou because I couldn’t stand seeing you with Mina so much. I was jealous.” Realization hit, and your eyes snapped open. “Mina knew?”

“Yeah, she’s the only one I told.”

“All those times we hung out and she never said a word.” Chuckling, you shook your head. “I told Shinsou. It’s like the only secret he’s ever kept from Kaminari. I threatened to mutilate him beyond all recognition if he mentioned a word to anyone.” You grinned sheepishly at him.

Kirishima huffed a laugh. “You’ve been spending way too much time with Bakugou. Your threats are just as creative as his.”

“Speaking of, I guess he figured it out on his own then.”

Humming, he shrugged. “He was always the smartest one out of all of us.” He looked over at you again. “So, now it’s your turn.”

Raising an eyebrow, you blinked at him. “For what? A heartfelt confession?” 

“It’s only fair. I told you how I felt. What did you think when you first met me?”

You felt your ears get hot. “Do you want the truth? Because it’s kind of embarrassing.”

Shifting himself on the couch, he leaned against the arm, tanned forearms resting on his knees. “Oh, this should be good.” He teased, grinning.

“Shut up.” You sighed, preparing yourself for his reaction. “When you walked into the kitchen that day, my first thoughts were...uh...pretty dirty. Like X rated.”

Eyes wide, he stared at you. “Really? How dirty are we talking here?”

You covered your face with your hands, mumbling your answer behind them.

“Sorry, what was that?” He was fucking with you again, you could hear the smirk in his voice, and you were tempted to smack him with a throw pillow.

Taking a deep breath, you moved your hands from your face, looking him right in the eye. “I said, I wanted you to step on me.”

Sputtering, he blinked a few times. “What?”

“I mean, you were this...tank, Eijirou. Like this giant man with gorgeous eyes and a killer smile, with the personality of fucking sunshine and you had these big hands and I wanted you to wrap them around my throat and-”

“Whoa whoa whoa, seriously?” His cheeks were as red as his hair, his hands flailing as he stopped your tirade. “You wanted me to…?

Nodding solemnly, you looked him dead in the eyes. “Yes, and I’ve thought about that like every day since then.” 

“I am learning things about you today that I never even imagined.” Blowing a breath out he slumped back, looking shook.

You hurried on, wanting him to know it was more than that. “I mean, after that I got to know you and I love everything about you, Ei. I just, you’re such a good person, better than I could ever be. You care about everyone and you’re always there for me, for all of us, whenever we need you. You’re strong and funny and brave. I always know that I can rely on you.” Sniffling, you couldn’t help the emotions bubbling to the surface. 

“But you also want me to step on you.” He was grinning, his eyes a little wet, too.

Wiping at your eyes with your fingers, you chuckled. “Yes, exactly.”

Sighing, he leaned forward, grabbing your arm and tugging. “Come here.”

Crawling across the couch, you laid down between his parted legs, your head resting on his chest. He wrapped his giant arms around you and kissed the top of your head. 

“Now what?” You asked, realizing you were afraid of the answer. What happened now?

He hummed, and you heard the sound vibrate through his chest. “I was going to suggest a nap, but now I keep thinking about what you said…”

You lifted up to ask what he meant, shifting your body and freezing when you felt something hard brush against your thigh. Eyes meeting his, you bit your lip at the look on his face, feeling a blush creep over your face and down your neck. “Yeah?”

“I figured we can do things out of order a little bit, right? I’m going to take you on a real date and court you properly, like a gentleman and all that, but right now all I can think about is, well…” He sat up, grabbing you around the waist and lifting you like it was nothing, until you were sitting properly on his lap, straddling his hips. When he was satisfied, his hand moved to your throat, putting the smallest amount of pressure on the sides of your neck with his calloused fingertips.

The moan that tore from your throat was low and quiet, but he heard it, muttering a curse under his breath as you became nearly boneless in his lap. “Eijriou.” You managed, licking your lips and gazing at him through half-closed eyes, your blood pounding in your ears.

It was ridiculous how turned on you were in that moment, and he’d barely done a thing. You felt his cock twitch beneath you, and you couldn’t help but grind down on him, the small amount of friction making you shiver.

Suddenly he was guiding you towards him, your noses bumping and breath mingling as he held you in place, his lips just out of your reach. “You don’t know how much I’ve always wanted you, Y/N.” 

Letting your eyes slide closed, you ran your hands up his muscled arms and rested them on his shoulders to keep yourself upright. You were tired of waiting, of keeping yourself from what you wanted. “Show me.”

If you were to die right here on this couch it would have all been worth it. The feeling of his lips on yours, the way he ran his thumb lightly over your throat as he kissed you, had your eyes rolling back in their sockets. You couldn’t get enough of the taste of him, of the feeling of his hard body beneath your fingertips. He was careful with his sharp teeth, tugging at your bottom lip lightly, your tongues sliding together as he rolled his hips against yours.

You pulled back for air finally, taking in his kiss bruised lips and dilated pupils. Reaching down, you tore your shirt over your head, tossing it across the room, never breaking eye contact. You watched his gaze fall to your heaving chest as he worried at his bottom lip for a moment, obviously lost in thought. 

Before you could ask him what he was thinking about, he’d shifted again so that his feet were on the floor. Kirishima lifted you off his lap and put you on your feet in front of him, hands moving to your waist, fingers slipping into the elastic of the leggings you were wearing. He pressed his face to your bare stomach, kissing your skin as he worked your pants down your thighs, slipping them past your knees. You played with his hair, moaning softly as he kissed along your hip.

When he sat back you stepped out of your leggings, feeling exposed. You forgot how to be awkward when he was looking at you like that, hungry and wanting. Stepping forward, you pouted. “Why am I the only one half-naked?”

Chuckling, he pulled his shirt off, and you sucked in a breath, trying to wrap your head around the fact that this man, with a chiseled and perfect body like a Greek god, wanted you.

You didn’t even have time to admire him, because he was moving again, pulling you closer by your thighs, sharp teeth hooking into the front of your panties and dragging them down. Tugging the tie out of his hair, you slid it on your wrist, letting your fingers card through his red locks. He let his hands do the rest of the work until the offending garment was tangled around your ankles. 

Pushing him away gently, you watched him settle back on the couch, red eyes gazing at you as you reached back to unclasp your bra, letting it fall to the floor, finally fully exposed to him. Kirishima sucked in a breath, blinking a few times in disbelief. “God, you’re so beautiful.”

You kicked your panties to the side, moving to kneel in front of him, reaching up to grasp the top of his grey sweats, mouth-watering when you started to tug them down. Kirishima was huge everywhere else, so the size of his cock was of no surprise to you. He was massive, long, and girthy, and you couldn’t wait to feel him inside you, stuffing you full.

Rubbing your thighs together for some relief, you left his sweats around his ankles, leaning forward and grasping his cock in your hand. It was almost comical how small your hands looked compared to it. Your eyes locked with his as you licked a long stripe up the shaft, tracing along the prominent vein on the underside, and lapping at the precum dripping from the head. 

Kirishima’s head fell back to rest on the cushion behind him, his fingers tangling in your hair as you took him into your mouth. Your jaw ached almost immediately as you did your best to swallow all of him down, willing your throat to relax. You’d spent so long thinking about how he would taste and sound as you sucked his soul out through his dick, you were going to make the most out of this moment. 

His breathy pants filled the room, along with the obscene slurping sounds of your mouth around his cock. Gripping your hair and tugging lightly, you could tell he was holding back, his thighs shaking with the effort to keep from fucking up into your face. You pulled off, opening your mouth to let him know he could wreck you however he wanted, but he had other plans.

“Come up here, baby.”

The pet name sent shivers through you as you stood up, straddling his lap, his cock pressed up against his stomach. His thumb brushed over your lips, wiping away the spit and pre that spilled down your chin. Cradling your face in his large palm, he pulled you forward and kissed you deeply, his free hand sliding between your bodies. Thick fingers parted your folds, and you lifted up on your knees to give him better access. You moaned into his mouth as he brushed over your clit, gathering the dripping wetness of your cunt along his digits and sliding one finger inside your hole.

You clenched around him, breaking the kiss and keening loudly, your hips involuntarily bucking against his hand. His finger pumped in and out, curling slightly and pressing against your inner walls, stretching you. Gripping your hip with his other hand, he kissed his way down your jaw to your neck and chest, tongue flicking out over your nipple, hot breath ghosting over your skin with a chuckle when you grabbed his head and pulled him towards you.  

One finger turned to two and then three as you rocked and mewled in pleasure, his thumb finding your clit again and pressing against the bundle of nerves, whispered praises reaching your ears as he sucked and bit at your breasts. You were on the edge, wanting to fall over and drown in him, needing to cum all over his fingers and then again on his cock, wanting nothing more than to feel this way forever. 

“Ei I’m gonna…” You panted, unable to form the words.

Grunting, he moved his fingers faster, pressing his thumb in a little harder, his words of praise streaming steadily, telling you how good you were, how pretty you looked. Eyes rolling back, your body tensed, a moan in the sound of his name leaving your lips as you shook, cumming harder than you ever had in your life. 

You were still clenching when he pulled his fingers out of you, his hand slick with release as he tugged on his cock and lined it up with your entrance, your body mourning the loss for mere seconds before he was filling you again. The slick glide of your arousal had you taking nearly all of him, the two of you groaning in tandem at the feeling. Gripping his shoulders, you lifted slightly, slamming your hips back down and taking him to the hilt. The stretch was just on the edge of painful, but his thick digits had stretched you just enough that the pleasure superseded any discomfort.

Still trying to gather yourself after your orgasm, you took a moment to breathe, studying his face, your gaze tracing over the scar on his eyelid, and his dark lashes fanning over his cheeks. An hour ago you never could have imagined you’d be here, panting shakily, drenched in sweat and skin to skin with your best friend and roommate. 

Clenching around him, you held his shoulders, rocking forward and lifting yourself slightly. Kirishima gripped your hips, fucking up into you in a steady rhythm, his lips finding yours once again to swallow the panting moans leaving you. You bounced on his cock, relishing the feeling as he kissed down your neck, his fingertips digging into your flesh, sure to leave bruises for you to admire the next day.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but it didn’t even matter. Just being this close to him, feeling him filling you so completely after wanting him for so long, it could have been minutes and you’d be happy. Knowing he felt for you as strongly as you felt for him was enough. 

His fingers trailed along your front and dipped in between your bodies to rub your clit again, and you felt the pleasure race down your spine, coil tightening again and ready to break. “Oh fuck, Eijirou!”

Growling, he grunted your name as his hips snapped up to meet yours, chasing his release. “I love you, Y/N.”

His words tipped you over again, your breath catching as you came, the wet sounds of his cock plunging into you increasing as you gushed around him. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, completely spent. You held onto him as he slammed into you a few more times, rhythm faltering and hips stuttering until he was filling you up with a loud groan.

Collapsing back onto the couch, he held you to his chest, the two of you gasping for air. It was quiet for a few minutes as he rubbed his palm along your back comfortingly. You felt relaxed and sated, a pleased smile making its way to your face when you thought about what he’d said.

“Hey, Ei?” You pulled back slightly to look at him, giggling when he peeked one eye open to gaze at you.

“You okay?”

“Mm. I just wanted to tell you that I love you, too.”

He looked sheepish, opening both eyes and biting his lip. “I didn’t mean to tell you like that. I wanted it to be romantic.”

“That was plenty romantic, Eijirou.” Rolling your eyes fondly, you shifted in his lap. “I’m just happy to hear you say it.”

“Man, we did this all wrong. I should have at least taken you to dinner first. This is so unmanly of me, I just couldn’t help it.” He frowned. “I’m sorry-”

“You’re too good sometimes, Ei. I’m not complaining, am I?” You raised an eyebrow. “We should go get cleaned up before Bakugou comes home and finds out we fucked on the couch.”

“Please don’t talk about Bakugou while you’re sitting on my dick.” He made a face that caused you to bust into gasping laughter. 

“Oh my god, I can’t.” You wheezed. “You’re ridiculous.” You moved to get up and he stopped you.

With a serious look on his face, he pushed your hair away from your face, his hand lingering near your ear. “I do love you though, Y/N. And I’m glad we finally got here. I didn’t think we ever would.”

Expression softening, you leaned into his palm, smiling at him. “Me too.”

Maybe if you had just told him how you felt all those years ago, you would have been able to have this sooner. But you promised yourself that you wouldn’t dwell on the past, deciding to focus on the future, because you knew it would be filled with more moments with him just like this.

[cessmaga]

Sonuckles headcanons cuz this ship is underated how wtf (and maybe some queer headcanons)

I like this idea knuckles is the first one to confess, idk it's really interesting

Sonic calling himseft "Knuckles' awesome, charming, handsome and heroic boyfriend" 😭😭❤❤

Sonic would probably brags how awesome his boyfriend is and Knuckles just blushes like heck

Sonic and Knuckles are big foodies! I like the idea of them tasting some foods around the world, I imagine them doing food challenges like eating the world spiciest chip challenge Xd

I say this before and I say it again, Sonic likes flowers and he likes giving to them depending on the flower's meanings, and they make flower crowns together :)))

Not my headcanon but I can also see Sonic and Knuckles finds marriage poinless, they don't need it to be official, they're comfortable just the way they are

I can imagine Sonic not being flirty or blushing torward to people who supposed to be "hot" or "sexy" but really flirtious torward to the person who actually has a strong emotional bond with (I hc him as demisexual)

They both claim to be protectors of nature

Sonic godamn hates steroetypes, when someone says "oh that make sense he likes flowers cuz he's queer" half of his braincells dies

Sonic probably thought he's bisexual and think why he's not getting into girls cuz he's 'not trying enough' and after times of doupt he decided he don't girls at all

He he's never been feel so free after that, and he probably gives his old bi flag to knuckles

And Knuckles already knew that he like's boys too and he didn't mind it until he heards them term Bisexuality

They're the most powerful power couple, some fighters fear them when they fight together, Sonic likes to brag about that

They like teasing and insult eachother but when some tries to insult the other your a goner

They're both really touch starved, they like to cuddle during quiet time

[unlikelyjedi]

Star Wars Movie Pride Headcanons

Obviously I can't do all the characters in Star Wars (movies or otherwise) so today I'll start with just the movie characters I find important or just fun!

Of course, these are just my opinions and it's totally cool if you have different ideas. Art is subjective and there are plenty of ways to engage with said art. This is just for my personal fun.

Luke Skywalker (he/him): Bisexual

I know people like Gay!Luke and that's totally fine, but... I just think of Legends!Luke and his wonderful wife Mara Jade, and I think Luke Skywalker is a man who can appreciate both Mara Jade and Ezra Bridger! Would be open to polyamory if it was like a throuple situation and everybody loved everybody.

Leia Organa (she/her): Bisexual

Now, I know the Leia book says she only likes humanoid males, but as someone who had a crush on both twins growing up, this headcanon is for me personally.

Han Solo (he/him): Bisexual

Okay, so most of these are going to be bisexual because I'm a stupid bisexual and I said so. Han Solo would flirt with anyone in the galaxy, including but not limited to Qi'ra, Lando Calrissian, Leia Organa, and Luke Skywalker.

Chewbacca (he/him): Ally (?)

Idk, tbh. He's got a wife and kid, and I think he thinks gay people are neat.

C-3PO and R2D2: Queer-platonic

They're droids and even though I do think droids can develop attraction like bio-species, I don't think these droids feel any attraction. Doesn't mean they don't have chemistry with each other though.

Lando Calrissian (he/they): Pansexual

He fucks. Everybody. I think Lando would be hand-wavy about gender. Most people use he/him with Lando, but they also enjoy they/them pronouns. Totally chill with polyamory.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (he/him): Graysexual

I really don't think this man knew he could have attraction until he met Satine Kryze. He just didn't think about it. It's not important. He probably scoffed at people who had issues following the Jedi Code. "What, like it's hard??"

Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader (he/him): Hetero-flexible

My man loves his wife (to quite an extreme degree actually). He's pretty sure he's straight? He's never thought of anybody but Padmé so it's not like he's really explored more. He wouldn't be opposed to dating men or other genders, though.

Wilhuff Tarkin (he/him): mlm

The only reason I'm including him on my list is because it's actually canon. He likes men. That's all I know on that front. I just had to include it because I was flabbergasted.

Yoda (he/him): Aro/Ace

All Yoda knows is talk funny, eat hot chip, and lie. (but actually he's a very wise master and mentor who loves his students and loves pulling a prank or two).

Padmé Naberrie/Amidala (she/her): Ally

Padmé loves her friends and family. She'd defend them with her life. I don't think homophobia exists in most areas of the SW universe, but if there was ever a time her friends felt marginalized, she'd be there to defend them. Whether that required just a simple talk, all the way to "aggressive negotiations."

Qui-Gon Jinn (he/him): Asexual

He feels like he could like somebody in a romantic sense. I don't think he'd hold on too heavily to the Jedi Code either. He just doesn't have the time. He's also never really wanted the sexual aspects of a relationship. I bet he gave all his Padawans "the talk" though.

Mace Windu(he/him): Aro/Ace

...and judgmental about it. Very sex-repulsed. He's not homophobic. He hates all PDA equally. Don't kiss in front of him. He will gag.

Rey (she/her): Pansexual

She just has a whole lotta love to give. :)

Finn (he/him): Bisexual

Rey's really hot. Poe's really hot. Why is everyone so hot???

Poe Dameron (he/him): Gay

Gay. Gay. Homosexual. Gay. (This is for Oscar Isaac. Luv u bby 😘) Poe looked at Finn like he was the first drop of water in the desert. And I think that's beautiful.

Rose Tico (she/her): Queer. Non-Binary.

Rose knows who she likes. She doesn't need a label to save what she loves. I think she still likes she/her pronouns, but doesn't necessarily like the label "woman."

That's the list! I'll be doing more Star Wars queer headcanons for people outside of the movies too! So be looking out for that, if you've read this far! Let me know if I've missed someone important from the movies and I'll add it later!

[squimp]

damar 🗿

ok.... realness

favorite thing about them

i fucking love the fact that damar is basically just some guy . like . everyone around him has the most INSANE agendas and he just does NOT want to be there and he hates everyone and is miserable at all times. All he does is be bisexual drink corn syrup get manipulated cry into his corn syrup be miserable. eat hot chip and lie. and also be a HUGE BITCH for LITERALLY NO REASON. i love when him and kira bully each other and he always loses. hes so fucking funny. so utterly fail. hes my failguy. also (I CAST SPELL OF IMMUNITY ZONE... YOU CANNOT COME AT ME FOR THIS) i think hes sexy as hell. casey biggs is a very handsome guy. SORRY! (IMMUNITY ZONE END)

least favorite thing about them

Ummmm im like mid season 6 of ds9 so there are things i do not know yet wrt his character arc and there are some things that have been spoiled for me which like whatever. anyway the only thing i can think of is i think he and weyoun should have gotten to kill each other as the conclusion to their sort of bizarrely intense dynamic bc ik jeffcombs and casey biggs both pushed for that to happen

brOTP: him and his legate salary bottle of kanar. this man has no friends.

OTP: my real FAIL answer is him and woun that fruity little thing. my real WIN answer is: what the fuck was going on with him and quark. ok. why are you as a man routinely getting drunk with another man and a fruity little thing like quark no less. it seems to me damar has a penchant for fruity little things..no?

nOTP: if there is anyone out there who ships him and ziyal... come here i promise i just want to talk (holding a big jagged rock behind my back) ^_^

song i associate with them: linkin park "in the end" or perhaps mad world. (During which i am pointing and laughing at him the whole time BTW)

favorite picture of them:

[minty-mumbles]

I’ve seen a lot of people posting their pride head cannons for the boys, so I thought I would give it a go.

Time: Asexual and Biromantic, with a preference for women. He doesn’t really know any of the words to express this though. Cis (He/Him)

Twilight: Bisexual and Cis, (He/Him)

Warriors: Heterosexual, but in the closet about being Aromantic. Cis (He/Him)

Sky: Demisexual and Panromantic. Demiboy (He/Him most of the time)

Legend: Gay. Super gay, but only for like... two people, ever, so Demisexual. Nonbinary (He/Them mostly, occasionally she/her)

Hyrule: Asexual Aromantic. Trans (Xe/Xem)

Wild: Pansexual with a preference for uhhh.... fish people, apparently. I don’t know and neither do they, but there’s a definite pattern. Genderfluid (All Pronouns. Has a system to let others know what to use)

Four: Says they’re Pansexual, but Green is Ace, Red and Blue are Pan, and Vio is Demi. In terms of gender, uhhh.... Questioning? That’s what they tell the others at least. (Mostly they use They/Them pronouns, although for not for the reasons the others think.)

Wind: Girls? Boys? Gender? Wind only knows: Be Pirate, Eat Hot Chip, and Tell Lie. (He may have had a crush on Tetra at one point but he’d rather get teeth pulled than admit it, even to himself.)

Bonus:

Ravio: Demisexual, Demiromantic, Nonbinary (Any Pronouns)

Malon: Bisexual, Cis (She/Her)

[lillian-nator]

Wallflower AU (aka highschool au made w/ @bellfort3)

V i b e s - hanging on the roof; walking across train tracks; skipping school; Lakes, yes, something with lakes; something with different types of sodas. - My angsty teens are gonna have painted nails - Tommy bleaches his hair; Wilbur dyes his hair black - dramatic fuck. - Wilbur in eyeliner plz - Wilbur wears doc martens; black, yellow, maroon, silver shiny - Tommy's worn the same exact jean jacket for the past 5 years; it's 2 sizes bigger than he is; but he wears it every single day; it has fur on the inside; and its light washed with tears; the tears didn’t come like it; he's just ripped it over the years - He doesn't wash it very often, but he's glued patches on it, and Wilbur's drawn on it in sharpie. He just layers hoodies or flannels under it when it’s cold, but still wears it when it's hot - Tommy's also worn the same shoes for YEARS, they’re duct taped together at this point, they're white converse, they're not white anymore, and he's bleach-washed them SO many times that they permanently smell like chemicals. - The laces are frayed, so bad that he doesn’t even wear the laces most days. - Tommy doesn't shy from going in mud or water though, he'll wear the shoes to their fullest and then some. - I think you can tell by now, that Tommy just doesn’t come from a lot of money. - They live in a kind of run down town, very poor, old, smallish. - Wilbur is middle class, which is very well off in the area he lives in. - Wilbur gives off family disappointment vibes. Where he has to sneak out at night, Tommy can leave through his front door. - Wilbur calls Tommy “sunshine”, but very sarcastically since Tommy is a dick :) - Tommy has one of Wilbur's old beanies; it's black and monster branded, the monster logo is green - Wilbur gave it to Tommy 3 years ago, and Tommy never gave it back - btw Tommy's 17 and Wilbur's 19: Tommy's a junior and Wilbur's a senior - Wilbur only drinks Green Apple Monster - Tommy drinks sugar free redbull, but mostly only when Wilbur buys it for him, because Tommy usually doesn't have pocket change - Wilbur and Tommy bring speakers to the train tracks and dance and by that, its them jumping around and occasionally pushing someone over - Tommy uses his allowance to buy cigarettes; Wilbur vapes - both mentally ill - Wilbur is essentially the modern emo. He has this one yellow and black flannel that's oversized, and he wears it multiple times a week - it’s a problem.

- Dream, Wilbur, Karl, Tommy, Big Q, SapNap, Punz, and Tubbo - That’s the group. - I have just been talking about Tommy and Wilbur but they are the main characters so you can suck it. - A scene with Dream, Wilbur, Karl, Tommy, Big Q, SapNap, Punz, and Tubbo, at a lake, throwing each other in, and Tommy gets his shoes soaked, but he saves his jacket from the fall. Water gun fights, and they drink energy drinks and eat chips. they lay in the grass and contemplate life, Talk abt life yes. Abt existence. Abt how shit it is. Half of them have to wake up early and sneak home, the other half get to stay as long as they like. - Tommy tucks his t-shirts into his pants, which are always very baggy black jeans with just gigantic holes. - Tommy and Dream both have ADHD, however, Tommy's meds are purely from welfare, he cannot afford to give any out. Dream however? From an upper-middleclass family. Basically millionaires in this town. He can afford to lose some of his meds. - He yells in the clearing "COME GET YOUR DRUGS CHILDREN" - Besides, I've learned that there are like so many different ADHD meds, and maybe Tommy is just on something a lot stronger than adderall. He can't partake in the pill popping, but he doesn't mind. He does it every morning. - They don't do it often, maybe once a month, depends on how big Dream's prescription is - not that he regularly takes them like a good boy should - And I won't ever write this, but Gogy hangs out with them every so often, in which Gogy and Wilbur have an on and off again hooking up type relationship - whenever they hang out, Gogy like sits and Wilbur's lap and shit - Tommy and Punz GAG - "EW the fuck - get your hands off eachother. ITS GROSS - NO PDA IN MY BACKYARD"

- They hang out in an abandoned Building. But they don't try to fix it up. They're not fucking VSCO girls. They just want somewhere to hang out - If anything they make it worse - they fucking trash the place - It’s not intentional though - It’s like they can have fun without worrying abt the mess - just, sometimes they spill hawiian punch mixed with vodka everywhere - THEY GHOST HUNT AND OUIJA BOARD AND SHIT - They hang out in cemeteries too. they play manhunt in a cemetery, but like the regular version- like just hide and go seek in the dark. - they've done seances even though almost all of them are atheists - anyways the point of the fact is, is that half of them (excluding the minors you know) I'm looking at you Karl and Q - somethings going on between you two have made out with guys, and I'm not gonna sugar coat it, most modern like takes on religion do not take kindly to that

- they go to prom - and Dream somehow ends up with a ton of weed, because he had just turned old enough, and had the money - and they get fucking high OUT of their minds, like they're never doing it again - like, George and Wilbur definitely hooked up at Wilbur's house, which they aren't supposed to do - because Wilbur's parents will fucking flip that Wilbur is sleeping with a random person. No one is quite sure where SapNap ended up, and Tommy lost one of his shoes. In a panic, they spent the next 3 hours looking for it to find it at the lake by the school - Tommy fucking cradles it to his chest. -  (are wilburs parents homophobic?) (yes maybe a little side of homophobia) (Is wilbur bisexual or gay?) (he is ‘whoever the fuck looks bangable’) (fair enough) (he is ‘gogy my king’) (TRUUUE) - the bleachers - they hang out under the bleachers

- Gogy = Stylish stoner - very popular, but never not high - Karl is like the goody two-shoes of the group, doesn't skip class, and is on the principals list, however, he will NEVER back down from space brownies - its his weakness - Tubbo has a subway pass, and they do that thing where Tubbo swipes it and everyone fucking bolts into the subway, and they take all the trains at like 4am and just hang from the bars and shit - Wilbur still dresses relatively like, nicely and scholarly, which puts everyone off. He wears very loose sweaters with button-ups underneath. with khakis or black jeans and his docs - where his best friend, our Tommy, wears borderline yellow converse, and one bleached two-sizes-too-large jean jacket, and some second-hand-store hoodies, that are always a bit too worn in, but so, incredibly Tommy - Tommy who legit hasn't brushed his hair in years, not with a brush anyways - too frantic to brush his teeth most mornings. but always chewing gum; Tommy's always everywhere at once - ADHD meds only half-working on him, they couldn't afford the good shit - He'll never quite understand Dream handing out his adderall for free, Tommy would kill for the hard shit, but hey, he's never gonna stop his friends from having a good time

- Let's talk about Karl Jacobs - good ole' goody two shoes Jacobs - all of his teachers are constantly trying to get him to stop hanging out with Tommy and gang - every parent teacher conference is "we love your boy, but we are concerned about his friends" - Teachers have meetings with him, about how the people you surround yourself with can change your future - Karl's like, from the good side of town, plays first in the drumline, plays violin on the side, straight a's, clean-white-air-force-ones type of guy. Name brand clothes. Combed hair - Packed lunch every day from his mom; gets dropped off by his mom, kisses her goodbye; Mom is like very involved in school too - PTA parent - it's fucking good kid Jacobs - and he's sneaking off with fucking potheads to go to college parties and abandoned buildings - Does he do drugs? Well, he’s a big fan of treats if you know what I mean :wink wink: - ….you ever see Ted's video about a 500mg edible …. yeah. - big fan of gummy bears and brownies - Karl shows up to Parties and there are shouts of "Fuckin' goody-two-shoes Jacobs is HERE" - a lot of people make fun of him and think they can push him around - He seems like a softie; welcome mat type beat - but fucking watch this man chug 5 cups of whatever you give him, and then still win beer pong - Like his best friend is fucking quackity, he can do the hard shit - its very much a his parents have no clue who he actually is type beat - Look, his parents have no clue where he is ever - And if they even know he’s out, they don’t know where or with who - If his mom is at all involved in the school, she'll hear about Quackity, basically a drug dealer with how much hash weed he hands out on a daily basis. - Tommy has to be contained in order for the school to run smoothly, and Wilbur is a dramatic fuck that sleeps through most of his classes - Tommy has to take frequent breaks - They make him spend 3rd period in the principles office - Like he obviously needs help but he can’t afford it at all. Even the school can’t do anything for him bc he can’t get anything official for himself - like he can't even try to concentrate - He gave up so quickly in high school, bc they don’t have enough time or staff to help him - he tried in middle school - but man, did he give up in highschool - Yeah. He knows it is hopeless. Can't even afford college anyway. he'll just do whatever Wilbur does - here's an idea: Fucking Karl Jacobs showing up to school one morning just absolutely hammered out of his mind - Karl just showing up to first period AP Physics, and he's barely awake, honestly smells so much like weed and booze, and if he breathed anywhere near you, you could just feel the alcohol radiating from his breath - He's extra bubbly, laughs at everything - takes out his notebook to take some sort of notes, and just fucking giggles at the shapes and equations. He is very spacy, he clearly stayed up all night doing something very illegal; he gets up and jumps around. 2nd period band? oh boy - He gets sick at lunch bet - Like everyone got Drunk but Karl got FUCKED up - It was his birthday, bet - He took like 17 shots over the course of like 8 - 12ish hours, and I looked it up, despite karl being super scrawny and probably like 140 - 150ish pounds - which isn't a lot for being 5'11 - will not kill him - BECAUSE, you guessed it, he turned 17 - He didn't sleep, he was awake taking shots and just fucking who knows what until 6am when they stumbled to school - at lunch, 11:30 in the morning - he's head down on the table, miserable - he doesn't have a hangover yet, because it's only been a few hours, but man, is he nauseous - just the smell of food makes his stomach churn - and the thing about fucking Jacobs showing up drunk as hell - is that at least one of his teachers has called his mom about it - SHES PRESIDENT OF THE PTA FOR FUCKS SAKE, ONE OF THEM KNOWS HER - And the teachers aren't stupid, Karl is so obviously drunk - generally Karl is pretty quiet in class; but now he has no distinction between hanging with hs friends and being in class - he's shouting and cracking jokes and is very tempted to kick his chair over - Anyways, Karl fucks himself over, end of story  - ONTO PUNZ’S RELGIEOUS TRAUMA WOOOOOOOOOOOO - It's Punz - fuckin' golden boy Punz; he plays football; and goes to church; and calls his mother "momma"; wears a nice church outfit; and is polite to the bible study mothers that come over on tuesday nights and gets them drinks - just a fuckin' golden boy - A religious family. Go to church every Sunday. Sunday school. Holidays. But. The kid just realizes that they don’t believe in god. Them telling the group like they’re high and he’s like “you know? Some of the shit that’s happened to us proves to me that god rlly isn’t real.” - and Punz like prays every day for Tommy's dad to get his job back; or for Gogy to get better parents; or for Karl to live the life he wants; and NOTHING EVER WORKS. THEY'RE ALL STILL FUCKED. - by the way we will get the the Tommy's dad losing his job later - But Punz's life is controlled by something he doesn't even believe in anymore - because he's still going to the like church breakfasts, and christmas service, and every sunday morning, and helping his mom's ladies bible study, and his parents are talking about sending him to a youth bible camp - - and he doesn't even think he believes in god anymore. - Punz kind of took out his own personal, religious, and family struggles out the way most teenage boys do. Drinking, and lots of sex. - SO I just imagined this like, really dramatic moment, where its the morning after Punz had a one night stand at some sort of party down the street, and he's long past saving his virginity for his wife, but he's buying her the morning after pill, which his church is just so against, and he has like the moment of, "if you do this, you're done." and he does it - he's had a couple of those moments, like, when he first had sex, and when he first smoked weed, or popped a pill, or snuck out at night, or skipped church - but that was the moment of "there is no going back" - like any type of drug or procedure that aborts an embryo, or that blocks fertilization thats already in process in like: the biggest no no in his church community - so once he stepped out of that drug store, he kind of took a breath, and just came to terms with it - "I'm an atheist." - Punz is the pastors son. - he's like, pre-commited to a catholic college - he’s in deep. - so when he first announces it to his friends, one really late night, "I think god might not be my thing." - they just start whistling and say "FINALLY, THE PASTORS SON HAS TURNED AROUND." - Dream just like turns over to him "how many chicks did you fuck to make you realize that?" - Tommy just slings his arm over Punz, "I'm glad you've quit the Jesus shit, Punz. Your better than it." - There’s gotta be this girl ok. He rlly rlly wants to have sex with her but he always backs out. The thing that breaks him. Is that he gets drunk and loses his virginity to someone who is not that girl - like, he likes this girl, and has a good connection with her, and she likes him, and he knows that its gonna be comepletly consentual, and she's like fucking beautiful right? - and she's the one he wants to loose it to and he's a stupid fucking idiot and loses it to some fucking random ass chick that doesn't even go to their school - This triggers a spiral. After that? He slowly starts giving less of a fuck abt everything. He fucked up the one thing you can’t do over and god he’s so painfully aware of it and so painfully aware that he didn’t even fuck up right. - You’re supposed to wait till marriage. Nope. You’re supposed to do it with someone you love and trust. Double nope. He. Fucked. Up. - its just like he wanted to do something bad. he wanted to fuck something up. he was questioning his faith, his like, great and sturdy and always-there faith for the first time, and what better way to test faith than to do something shitty and see what comes of it. and so he was planning and planning and planning how he was gonna do this terrible thing - which is such a good kid thing to do, to put so much thought into your own rebellion - but he wanted this to go perfectly. - Little Pastors Son, Punz, wasn't gonna wait till marriage. - He was gonna have sex with the girl of his dreams before they were even dating - but man did he like her. Did he want her. - And then he fucked some random girl when he was black out drunk. He's fucked everything up - he can't wash this away with confession - he's tainted. He's dirty. - He looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize the heathen staring back. - He hates who he's become. - But he never goes back - he can't. He's dirty. He's wrong. - but the more he goes down the spiral - the more he realizes that one mistake shouldn't have made him feel like that - that if god was real, which he honestly wasn't sure in that department, he wouldn't want Punz to feel like the scum of the earth for doing something wrong. especially when he felt so bad after he did it. This system was fucked. He didn't want to be apart of another cycle - and he's just lying to himself every time he goes to church, and reads a cerse for his mom, and meets with younger kids at the church, and plays flag football with fucking church virgins who are good catholics and follow all their mommas orders - And every night when he says grace he means it less and less. he always does it when his momma asks, but boy does the lords word mean shit to him anymore From Ethan: - A turning point to the others in Punz's breakaway from Catholicism is like - He prays before he eats, usually. Sometimes they wait for him to finish his prayer before eating themselves, just out of politeness. He's a friend, he gets that shred of etiquette - And then one day he just doesn't. They got some fast food for a whole group dinner out at their hangout spot (a warehouse, did you say??) Tommy is staring at it intently but he waits for Punz to pray. Tubbo's already started eating but the rest wait - And Punz just starts eating - Dream nudges him, "No prayer, Pastor's boy?" - "No prayer," Punz mumbles into his food. "I'm trying something new." SO, TOMMYS DAD LOSING HIS JOB ARC W000000000 - it starts with Tommy showing up in a different jacket one day - like you have to understand, he's worn this jean jacket every single day for as long as WIlbur has known him, which is like 6 years - Like Tommy shows up in this giant, khaki work-jacket and it's his dads... - HIS DAD DIDNT DIE - his dad lost his job, which is essentially death to a family who already couldn't sustain themselves - and Tommy shows up to school, face pale and cheeks sunk in and there are visible bags under his eyes - and Wilbur just rushes over immediately and hugs him so tight to his chest - and Tommy just sobs, "pops lost his job -" gasp "I can't - we can't pay the bills this month. everything - its all falling apart Will." - "Hey - hey. Stop. It's gonna be fine. You're gonna be okay. You always are dude." - Tommy does have to get a job - and he probably does drop out of school unofficially, like he just stops going. - he sleeps during the morning classes, and heads into work at 10am - he's a carpenters assistant. it pays well as they need young, able men. but most of the younger citizens in the town go to school - he has to take the day shift because the day shift pays better - he doesn't mind it, he doesn't - it gives him the opportunity to get all of his energy out; but he misses going to school. as much as he hated it, he misses his friends. - and lets be honest, its hard as fuck for his dad to find a new job, he doesn't have a great resume - he didn't graduate from highschool. and he isn;t in top health condition, he definitely doesn't have health insurance - so Tommys stuck with this job for a long time - his dad uses his last paycheck to buy Tommy workboots so tommy feels in debt to him - He’ll get his GED eventually. - I think - The like religious status of the rest of the group brought to you by me - Everyone who I don’t mention is just a hard atheist - Karl and Wilbur are catholic, but to a lesser extent, Wilbur doesn't really go through with lent, and Karl only sometimes does. They go to a different church and go pretty much on holidays only, a sunday a month maybe. - SapNap goes to Punz's church, they've been friends for years. - He goes to sunday school but misses a lot of sermons because of his siblings sports games. - He is involved, but not to the way Punz is - SapNap's mother is in fact in Punz's moms bible group - Punz sometimes doesnt attend the bible group and Sap's mother is all "now you tell that pastor's boy to actually attend next time, got it?" and Sapnap dies a little on the inside - And George is an orthodox christian, but he's pretty much quit due to the blatant homophobia he's seen at his church. 

AND NOW ON WILBUR SOOT AND KARL JACOBS AND BARKING - Wilbur has siblings, fun fact - that we will never talk about or address - but definitely nothing like Wilbur, more the Karl Jacobs type - Wilbur is the oldest. he's always lectured about being 'a good influence on your brother and sister.' - They’re big sports kids. Softball and Basketball (tall genes). Straight Bs; Bed by 10pm; Have never missed school - Parents pride and joy :) - Just good suburban kids, Have friends next door, help the neighbors, attend the cul-de-sac barbecues. - Basically who Wilbur used to be up until highschool (until Wilbur met weed and a good group of stoners) - Sure he was a disappointment and he had no clue what to do with his life - But he was happier - Never really liked being the goody- two-shoes boy next door, he doesn't know how karl does it “Playing good boy like a dog” - Also he used dog terms around Karl - Because he’s “Playing good boy like a dog” - He’ll throw Karl a beer and smile “go fetch” - He laughs so hard when he sees Karl be good in a class or play it up for his parents; Because Wilbur’s so past trying - Wilbur will walk by and just bark at karl. Bet. Just Growls lowly; Walks in a  circle; Anything to make Karl’s parents (or Wilbur’s own) stare at him and scurry away - Karl’s parents push Karl forward and like hold their younger kids close to their chest, whispering “keep close, don’t look at him” - They tell Karl to stay away from kids like him. - And boy do Wilbur’s pa#rents hate it, They push him along and whisper yell at him As he throws his head back and cackles - I mean imagine, like a stereotypical middle class suburban family: House wife, blue collared father, Two kids; in sports jerseys, Girl in braids, boy in khakis - And then there’s Wilbur: Doc Martins, black jeans, collar and sweater, beanie. Definitely high on something - Chains LOTS OF CHAINS - And he's Barking. Fucking Barking At the nice family down the street - And then he takes out his vape right in front of his parents and silently offers Karl a hit with a smirk - Cause Karl’s too busy playing good boy - And as Karl’s family looks back, as Wilbur is corralled by his mom - He flips them off with the biggest smirk uou will ever see - Wilbur's kind of an ass - And Karl really wants a hit of that vape.

[avengerscompound]

The Surrogate - Chapter 7

The Surrogate:  A Clintasha Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Word Count:  1910

Rating:  E

Warnings:  Pregnancy, Smut (MFF, bisexual threesome, oral sex, tribbing, vaginal fingering)

Synopsis: A freak end of the world incident leads to meeting your two best friends, Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff.  While your friendship with the two Avengers is anything but conventional, they are your all-time favorite people.  When you find out that Clint and Natasha want to start a family but have exhausted all their options, you realize your powerset might allow you to give them what they want.  Having your best friends’ baby might seem like a good idea on paper, but when you are as close as you, Clint, and Natasha are, will doing something so intimate mean feelings get a little mixed up?

Chapter 7

To say the hormone medication you and Natasha were taking messed with your moods was putting it mildly.  Interestingly, they did affect each of you differently.  Natasha was mostly just really tired while she was on them.  It was weird seeing her like that, and much to her displeasure, Steve stopped sending her on missions because she was having trouble focusing.  She had started napping in the middle of the day, and Clint had an almost ongoing supply of heat pads that went from the microwave to Natasha and back.

You, on the other hand, were going through wild mood swings.  You weren’t easily annoyed exactly, but you would go from being extremely excitable to crying at the drop of a hat.

Clint, to his credit, was doing his best to be a supportive and caring boyfriend and friend.  He gave all the injections.  He tried not to be annoying.  He was organizing meals for both of you, even if most of the time, that meant take-out from one of three places in the nearby town.  He didn't quite know what to do when you randomly started crying, but he tried to soothe you as best he could.

Halfway through the first month and you had terrible stomach pain and decided that you were staying in bed.  Pain was usually fleeting for you, and the cramps you were suffering from just felt like more than you could handle if you also had to participate in society.

You texted Clint and Natasha to tell them how you were feeling and that you weren't coming around today, and they showed up an hour later with heat packs and a stack of chocolate chip pancakes.

“Me too,” Natasha said in lieu of a greeting, crawling into bed with you and pulling the covers over herself.

“Here you go,” Clint said, handing you the plate of pancakes.  “I’ll go warm up some heat packs for you both.”

“The chocolate helps,” Natasha said, picking one out of the pancakes and eating it.

“Probably the eggs are doing things, right?  Feels like I've been stabbed in the ovaries,” you complained as you poked your pancakes with a fork.

“Yeah, probably,” she agreed.  “Those are safe to eat, you know?  Bucky made them.”

“He did?  That's so nice of him,” you said, tearing up.  “I should do something to thank him.”

“Oh god, Nat,” Clint said, bringing in the heat packs. “I was only gone for a minute, and you managed to make her cry.”

“It’s okay,” you said.  “It was happy tears.”

Clint climbed into the bed on your other side and gave each of you heat packs.

“You both just gonna spend the day in bed with me?”  You asked.

“Sure,” Clint said.  “Thought we could watch movies and eat comfort food.”

You started crying again, and Natasha laughed softly and rubbed your back.  “Now you made her cry too,” she teased.

“Aww, babe,” Clint soothed, putting his arm around your shoulders.  “We don’t have to stay.  We thought you might like someone taking care of you.”

“I do,” you sobbed.  “You’re such good friends.”

“What?”  Clint teased.  “You’re the one that’s going to be carrying and then giving birth to a baby for us.  We’re just taking care of you while you’re not feeling well because of something you’re doing for us.”

You hid your face in his side, and Natasha rubbed your back.  “You broke her,” teased and pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

“Stop being mean to me,” you whined, and they both started laughing as they rubbed your back soothingly.

“What nice thing can we do to make you not cry?”  Clint asked as Natasha nuzzled into your back.

You made a choked moan sound into Clint’s chest.  “Oh,” Natasha said with a playful purr in her voice.  She took the pancakes off your lap and put them on the bedside table.  “I think she wants some endorphins.”

“They said no sex,” you whined.  “Stop teasing me.”

“No, they didn’t,” Natasha said.

“Nope, they just said you can’t get jizzed in,” Clint agreed.

You started silently laughing as Natasha broke down into laughter too.  “Such an idiot, yastrebok,” Natasha teased as she ran her fingers down your neck and kissed just under your ear.

“Hey!” Clint argued.  “That’s what she said.”

“Mmm… I guess she did,” Natasha said.  “Is that what you want?”

“Don’t know,” you whined, wriggling a bit where you sat.  There were a lot of things you were feeling, pain for sure, and while that didn’t make you feel super sexy, your libido had been annoyingly high over the past few days.  If you were in a typical monogamous relationship right now, you'd be conflicted about what you wanted because you did feel bloated and in pain, but you also felt horny, and sometimes sex did help with that kind of cramping abdominal pain.  But you weren't, and you'd been trying to keep Natasha and Clint away from the romantic relationship part of your head, and every time you got physical with them, it nudged them that little bit closer to it.

“Aren't you tired and sore too?” You asked, attempting to deflect the question.

“I am,” she said, rubbing her fingers over your hips.  “But those endorphins help a lot.  Also, I end up sleeping better too.”

“Yeah, basically for a week, it's been sex and sleep and not much else with Nat,” Clint agreed.

“So if you like,” Natasha said, nosing at your neck.  “We can take care of you too.  We've never had a threesome before, and you know you enjoy it with us.”

You whined again and shook your legs out.

“Don't sound too excited,” Clint laughed.  “Babe, you don't have to.  It’s an offer.  Not a demand.”

“I want to,” you admitted.  “I just hurt.”

“I can start, and if you don't like it, we can stop, and you can finish your pancakes while we marathon Brooklyn 99,” Natasha said. “We just want you to be as relaxed and comfortable as you can be.”

You chewed your bottom lip and nodded.  You weren’t sure if this was a good idea, but you had started not to care at all.

“Come here,” Clint said, pulling you so that you were sitting between his legs with your back pressed against his chest.  He ran his hands up under your sleep shirt and began to massage your breasts slowly.  His calloused hands kneaded your soft flesh, sending a dull ache out through you.  You closed your eyes and let your head fall back on Clint’s shoulder as Natasha moved between your legs.

She spread them and pulled your pajama pants down and off.  Clint hooked his legs under yours, holding them apart and lifted your sleep shirt off over your head. She slowly teased her way up the insides of your thighs, kissing your soft skin as she moved her way up.  You almost vibrated in anticipation.  Your cunt dripped, and your skin buzzed.

Clint kissed your neck and massaged your breasts.  His scruff tickled your skin, and you could feel the start of his erection press against your back.  Natasha’s tongue ran up your cunt, spreading your lips as she lapped wide from your entrance to your clit.

“Fuck…” you sighed, lifting your hips a little.  Natasha hummed and pushed two fingers inside you.  You moaned loudly and bucked your hips, rocking them against Natasha’s face.

“She’s good with her hands, isn’t she?” Clint purred against your ear.

“Mmm…” you moaned as Natasha curled her fingers inside you, dragging them over your internal walls.  “Yes, she is.”

“I like to thank her when she takes care of me,” Clint whispered against your ear.  The mixture of the hot breath on your neck and the words he was speaking sent a shiver through you and made your legs start to tremble.  “Maybe you should too.”

Natasha’s fingers touched down on that special spot inside you, and you bucked up suddenly and cried out as a jolt of pleasure surged through you.  “Fuck!” You gasped.  “Fuck, thank you, Nat.”

She hummed and started sucking on your clit.  Her fingers worked inside you, pressing and dragging over your g-spot again and again.  Clint continued to massage your breasts, and a hot current swirled through you.  It met in your core and pressed down inside you.  You began to rock your cunt against Natasha’s face.  “Fuck.  Fuck.  Fuck.  Nat…” you babbled, as your orgasm built and teetered right on the bring.

Natasha sucked your clit into her mouth and pressed her lips down on it as she twisted her wrist.  Her knuckles dug into your g-spot, and you came, crying out and arching away from Clint as it coursed through you.

Natasha sat back and grabbed your legs, pulling you down onto the mattress. She began to undress as Clint got to his knees and pulled out his cock. You grabbed his hips, pulling him close and licking up the underside of his cock, collecting up the precum that had leaked down his shaft.  Natasha tangled her legs with yours, bringing her cunt up and pressing it against yours, and began to grind them together.  You were both so wet they slid easily against each other.  Clint gently rolled his hips, so that as you sucked on his cock, he every so slightly fucked your mouth.  He reached down between your legs, and as you and Natasha ground your cunts together, he began to play with your clits.  Rubbing them.  Pinching them.  Circling his fingers in tighter and tighter circles.

The room began to fill with the sounds of your combined moans and panting and whimpers.  Your whole body buzzed, and a sheen of sweat clung to your skin as you rapidly rolled your hips and bobbed your head up and down on Clint’s cock.  Natasha’s muscles flexed and tightened as her moans got louder.  You felt another orgasm building, and you could tell Natasha was close too.  Her hips moved more erratically, and her legs shook.  Clint focused his fingers on her clit, rubbing it hard, and with a loud moan, she threw her head back and came.

Clint’s fingers moved to you, and he rapidly fingers your clit, trying to bring you along with her, and as the last of her orgasm shuddered through her, yours hit.  You let go of Clint’s cock and cried out your head falling back.  Clint pumped his cock, and even as you were still quaking from your own orgasm, he came, releasing in thick ropes on your chest.

“How’s that?  Feel any better?”  Natasha asked as she grabbed a tissue and began to clean you up.

“Mmm…” you hummed as you lay back on the pillow.  The cramping had eased off, and you had that warm, post-orgasm afterglow.  “Much better.  Sleepy.”

“Yeah, me too,” she said, tossing the tissues in the trash and curling up next to you.

“If you both go to sleep, I’m gonna watch Die Hard and eat these pancakes,” Clint said.

“Can you get Bucky to make me fresh ones when I wake up?”  You asked as you pulled the covers over you and Natasha.

Clint laughed.  “I guess I can ask.”

“Okay, you eat ‘em,” you said and closed your eyes.

Clint laughed and turned on the TV, and the opening sequence of Die Hard was playing as you drifted off to sleep in Natasha’s arms.

// NEXT

[breitzbachbea]

Oi if ya don’t mind ranking the ocs on most to least likely to commit tax evasion pls and thank you

Okay, WELL. Since my Like Father Like Son AU is literally an Organized Crime AU, I do have to say that a lion share of them ARE actively evading taxes. I'm giving you a top three on who's personally best equipped for it though.

Top 3 Best Tax Evaders

Leo Reiter. They've worked for more than a decade in finances. They were literally made to do this and now that they're the right hand to Lilli Eva Zwingli (APH Liechtenstein) it's LITERALLY all they do.

Tahir Rashid. Did specialize in property law and not tax law, but close enough.

Havva Be Yauno. Worked for the Turkish government before they were fired for discriminatory reasons, so who better to cheat the state than someone cheated BY the state.

Top 3 Worst Tax Evaders

Jack Rutherford. He's the epitome of a himbo. I love my boy with all my heart, but any trade he is even a jack of does NOT include anything like taxes.

Hugo Lahrouchi. Not my OC but by my friend C0FFINATED on twitter - He's Lilli's other right hand and he is just here to be an uwu bean and to beat people up. All he know is be bisexual, lie, eat hot chip, charge phone and twerk.

Désirée Dupont. I think she actually could be great at it, it's just that her mind is occupied with literally anything else. There are five million more interesting ways to wreak havoc, so why waste time with tax evasion. She needs to read every Wikipedia article on fucked up deep sea fish, she ain't got time for that.