#all fandoms will eventually die out but I really love the dedication of our little terror fandom

[lieutale]

Old piece of art

I’ll forever miss you, twitter terror script. It’s the end of a beautiful beautiful era. Not to sound sappy, but terror script was an example of trying to maintain the legacy of a piece of art/media people love and appreciate.

I hope this fandom continues to live on!

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 1

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Pairing: Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader Rating: T for teen for mild language. Later entries in the series will be more mature though, just a heads up Warnings: None this chapter. There will probably be canon typical violence/blood mentioned or referenced in future chapters though, cuz, ya know, vampire ladies? Notes: No beta reader, we die like Ethan Winters’ hands (repeatedly, and with odd frequency)

Chapter 1: Nocturne

     Of all the tasks assigned to you, none were as bittersweet as that of dusting Lady Dimitrescu’s piano. Years ago, before you had been shuffled off to a remote European village, before you had been roughly snatched from your home, before… this, you had been taught to play music. From a young age it brought you comfort, entertained you on quiet days, and even made you your fair share of friends. Though you had experimented with a handful of instruments, none felt more natural than piano. Leaving your family’s heirloom piano behind was one of the hardest things you had ever had to do. 

     Until you arrived at Castle Dimitrescu, at least. Sweat often dropped off your brow as you spent endless hours scrubbing floors, carrying baskets of clothes or mysterious parcels of meat up and down flights of stairs, rushing to and fro rooms across the estate. Physical labor was no stranger to you, but no employer had ever been as demanding as those you now served. Hence part of why you always breathed a sigh of relief when you were chosen to dust the piano. It was hardly a demanding task, even when you had to take care not to accidentally let the keys make any noise. No one was allowed to play it without permission (and that was never given).

     Which brought you an aching sensation at the core of your chest, balled up alongside past regrets, a hundred million thoughts of alternative realities where you didn’t hurt so much. There was no point in imagining what choices might have saved you from your fate… and yet you did so anyway. Sometimes you thought about barricading yourself in the room, just so you could play a couple songs, even if it would guarantee you a painful death. But you could never bring yourself to willingly disobey Lady Dimitrescu; not when you had heard the wails and screams of Maidens a few floors below.

     Yes, you would never willingly, knowingly do such. That wasn’t to say you were incapable of mistakes. No, you weren’t that fortunate. It was such a simple error, really, just a misjudgment of the cloth held between your fingers. Your hand slipped. That was all. But that slip led to an accidental press of a key- f#, if you heard right- that sounded throughout the room with damning clarity. Just like that, you felt the pitiful thing you called life shatter to pieces on the floor. Inside your chest your heart started to pound, a metronome speeding this performance along to its end.

     Had you not been paralyzed with dread, you might have accepted your fate with enough grace to sit down, play those last few tunes like you had daydreamed about so many times. But you didn’t, couldn’t. All you felt you could do was strain your ears and listen for the impending sounds of angry footsteps.

     Instead your concentration was interrupted by a door flying open, hitting the wall with a slam you knew would leave a dent, as a swarm of insects burst in. Nearly jumping out of your skin you put a hand to your chest, half expecting not to feel a heartbeat anymore. The rhythm was off, for sure, and it skipped a beat when the swarm surged together to form a somewhat familiar figure: Daniela Dimitrescu. Leaning against the piano, one hand bracing against it, the woman pretended to examine her sickle, idly twisting it back and forth in her hand. When she spoke, she didn’t even bother to glance in your direction.

     “I never understood why mother dedicated a whole room to this,” she muses, casually inclining her head towards the piano. “It’s not like any of our instructors lasted very long. Why not let this gather dust with the rest of the useless junk somewhere upstairs?” There’s a pause, and for a moment you mentally debate whether or not you’re supposed to respond. Apparently not, as Daniela soon turns to you and speaks more directly, which is grand, really, as your tongue felt as if it was glued to the roof of your mouth. “Maybe she knew someday someone would come along to serenade us. And you clearly know how to play, otherwise you wouldn’t have dared to make a sound.”

     Stepping forward, she extends a gloved hand, cupping your chin so gently that you almost couldn’t feel her touch. Her gaze, however, was dangerously intense, unblinking, and filled with far less joy than her grin would suggest. The touch lasts only a few seconds. Just long enough to leave you shaking with anticipation. Daniela’s toothy smile only widens as she backs up, keeping her eyes on you even as she reclines into a chair in the corner of the room. You almost wished she would just get it over with and kill you. Whatever she had in mind would be worse in the end, yes? 

     “Well? Aren’t you going to play for me? Show me how much you love me? I don’t have all night,” Daniela says expectantly. She’s relaxed fully, sitting with one leg crossed over the other, spine pressed up against the back of the chair, but she hasn’t set her sickle down. There’s a clear threat in the way she holds it, grip tight enough to let you know that she’s still ready (and itching) to use it.

     You couldn’t help but wonder if she’d be acting differently if she knew that you did, in fact, know how to play. Was this just a teasing start to your punishment? Or was there a part of her genuinely interested in hearing music? Obviously you hoped for the latter. Hell, you practically prayed for it as you slowly pulled out the piano bench, awkwardly sat down, and urged your body to remember a song. What genre would a vampire from the 1950’s even enjoy? All you knew were bits and pieces of a few classics, a couple chord progressions from early 2000’s hits, and a handful of songs you had written yourself.

     There wasn’t much time to ponder, not with Daniela’s gaze burning a whole in the side of your head. So you simply pressed your fingers to the keys, took a deep breath, and let muscle memory take over. Your eyes became half lidded as you started to play, hardly paying attention to what you were doing. It felt like a single glance at your captor would result in the worst case of stage fright known to mankind. Instead you focused on the piano’s wooden frame, and the many grain marks twisting within.

     All the while your fingers glided over the keys, delicately pressing here and there, starting with something simple. Little more than a chord on your left hand, followed with a few short notes on your right, repeating in different places up and down the scale. It was almost a test, a gentle showing to see what Daniela would do. You still refused to look at her, even when you heard what sounded like a bored sigh. A knot tied itself in your stomach, and you gulped, before you shifted mental gears. Evidently “soft and simple” wasn’t going to cut it. Hopefully you could please one Lady without earning the ire of any of the others.

     So you paused, letting the notes suspend in the air for a moment, and came back swinging. The kiddy gloves were off, abandoned on the floor with your sense of caution. Grander things came back to mind as your fingers danced atop the keys, stretching chords and melodies alongside each other, the best of what you recalled pouring out of you without a sign of stopping. Out of the corner of your eyes you saw Daniela sit up, paying more attention then she had at the start. Confidence found itself growing at the center of your chest, and it managed to turn your lips up into a smile. How long had it been since you had been able to perform like this? Years? A decade, even? You didn’t know. It didn’t matter.

     Minutes passed by like this, with your hands moving constantly, even as your gaze never shifted. It was heaven channeled on Earth. Whatever was to come after, death or dismemberment, you couldn’t care less. Let them take your blood, your life. They could never take this music from your mind, from your memories, or the joy it inspired in you. If you were to die soon, at least you had been given one last soliloquy.

     Eventually the song had to end. It was a bitter moment, one you dreaded for its followup, but otherwise would have found pride in. After all, you were evidently the first maiden to give a performance (at least of this variety) to one of the Dimitrescu sisters! Certainly that was an accomplishment? Maybe your brain would let you celebrate later… assuming you survived. Daniela had stayed quiet since her earlier sigh, letting you play on without interruption thus far. Now that the song was over you didn’t know what to expect. Knowing Daniela, or at least knowing the rumors surrounding you, it was hard to imagine that anything you could expect would be accurate.

     “How long have you been hiding this little talent of yours?” She coos, clapping her hands together with a short giggle. So far so good, you thought, clinging desperately to hope. Once more she rose to her feet, moving so smoothly she might as well have been gliding, and ended up by your side. This time her hand rested on your shoulder, putting enough pressure to keep you from moving. “Don’t tell me you’re shy, that would simply be too… precious.” With that said her hand trails along your shoulder, across your collarbone, up your neck, then rests for a moment on your cheek. The touch sends a shiver down your spine, which only encourages Daniela, and she tucks a strand of your hair behind her ear.

     Before she can say more, or you could even attempt to form words, there’s the faint sound of someone yelling in the distance. A name, you think, although it’s not loud enough for you to make out who’s being called. The answer becomes evident soon enough, however, as Daniela pulls back from you suddenly, smile trading out for a scowl. Some part of you instantly misses her touch, leaving the rest of you confused more than anything.

     “Get back to your work, then,” Daniela says, roughly, the playfulness in her voice now entirely absent. It was such a sudden change in demeanor that you didn’t know how to react. Thankfully her eyes were no longer on you, and she was already moving towards the door. Had you really managed to play your way out of a punishment? You knew for a fact that at least one other maiden had lost her life for making the same mistake you did, yet now Daniela looks ready to leave without so much as a slap on the wrist. But she does pause in the doorway, as if reading your thoughts, and throws you a look over her shoulder. Her eyes narrow for a split second before she gives you one last wicked grin. “Don’t worry, sweet thing, I won’t forget you anytime soon.”

     Just like that she was gone, into a cloud of insects, out the door and into the corridor beyond. The tension in the room had left, you could finally breathe easy… and yet still your mind was racing. Those words she had left you with- were they a threat? Or a promise of something softer? Only time would tell.

[rax-writes]

Full Circle

Fandom:  The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Pairing:  Nicholas Scratch x Reader

Warnings:  None

Notes:  This is based on a song that’s become popular very recently, so you could try to determine what it is as you read, if you want. I’ll link the song at the end in case you didn’t figure it out, or to listen to the song if you’ve never heard it. ☺

Being a hopeless romantic was practically a curse for a witch. Your kind wasn’t made for love. Lust, desire, sex – all of those things came easily for witches and warlocks. But love was a different matter entirely. You knew it was foolish to allow that particular emotion to creep into your heart, but all the mortal romance novels you’d read left you willing to be foolish.

A few months after engaging in a strictly sexual relationship with Nicholas Scratch, you confessed to him that you no longer wished to continue the affair unless he was willing to incorporate romance into the mix. He was hesitant at first, but didn’t want to lose the way your attention and affection made him feel important, valued, and cared for, so he complied. He took you on dates, bought you flowers every Tuesday, let you wear his jacket, cuddled together as you watched movies and read magical novels. He even wrote a poem for you, which he turned into a song with some assistance from the acoustic guitar he borrowed from the choir instructor. The dashing warlock swept you off your feet, and you had never been happier.

Then Sabrina Spellman came into the picture.

You truly had nothing against the plucky, young, promising witch. It was Nick who posed a problem. Ever since she arrived at the Academy, you felt him slipping away from you. He stopped buying you flowers. The dates became few and far between. He slowly took each of his jackets back. But all the while, he used that enthralling, silken voice of his to supply you with thinly-veiled lies of reassurance.

“There’s nothing between Sabrina and I, babe. And besides, she has a mortal boyfriend. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, alright?”

It wasn’t long before his story changed.

“Being with you has been amazing, and you’ve opened my mind to the possibility of love for our kind. I love you so much, and I always will, but…. I won’t lie to you, there’s someone else. And I can’t, in good conscience, stay with you while having feelings for another person. That’s not fair to you. I’m sorry…. I’m so sorry.”

The contradiction of Nick’s lie of reassurance and his words as he crushed your heart never left your mind… nor did your love for him. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake how much your heart yearned for his touch, his kiss, his scent, his voice. It felt like a knife in the chest when you saw him and Sabrina together, shortly after the break up, and you weren’t the least bit surprised that she turned out to be the “someone else.” Nick constantly looked at her with more love and adoration than he’d ever shown you, and it never ceased to hurt.

Nevertheless, you did the only thing you could: you carried on. Ignored the pain. Shoved your unyielding love for him to the back of your mind. You continued your studies, and your dedication to the coven. You aided your cohorts, even Sabrina, in all of the coven’s efforts. Unfortunately, that included helping Nick become a flesh Acheron for Satan, then saving him, and watching from the sidelines as he struggled to cope with the lingering effects of being trapped in his own body with the Devil. Eventually, there came a time when the coven experienced a small dose of reprieve. Hecate became your new deity, the coven’s powers were restored, the Pagans had been driven out of Greendale, and all seemed to be right with the world. Drinking away your troubles, alone in your room with a hundred-year-old bottle of Scotch, had sounded like a fine way to spend a Monday evening – until Nick walked up to you, as you sat outside on the stairs of the Academy, enjoying the cool night air.

“Hey.”

One word. One, simple word was all he mustered up to say to you, despite the fact that it was your first private exchange since the break up. So, you merely echoed it.

“Hey.”

Nick just stood there, before joining you on the stairs, a few feet away from you. The two of you sat there in silence for several minutes before you became the first to speak again.

“Don’t you have some pretty blonde to be hanging out with right now? You know, the one who always made me doubt, yet you constantly assured me I had nothing to worry about?” you retorted, the liquor in your system acting as a conduit for your raw truth. You let out a dry, bitter laugh. “In all honesty, I suppose I can’t blame you for choosing her over me. She’s so much more powerful and skilled than I am. Now that I think about it, she’s the personification of everything I’m insecure about.”

Nick looked at you with sorrowful eyes, before looking away again, as if he couldn’t bear to look at you and see how much pain you were in, even after all this time.

“Sabrina and I broke up.”

The hot mess mixture of feelings that flooded you was practically dizzying. Admittedly, his statement initially filled you with hope. Perhaps this meant he’d give being with you another shot? This was immediately followed by anger – first toward yourself, for being so stupidly optimistic and naïve, then toward him. Did he come here to tell you that, assuming you’d forgive him and everything would go back to the way things were, as if you would be excited to be the consolation prize?

Too dazed by the dichotomy of your thoughts, you said nothing in response. He took your silence as an invitation to continue.

“Turns out, we were a lot less compatible than I originally thought. I thought she was the one. I was willing to die for her…” Nick mused, then trailed off before exhaling and continuing. “I didn’t die, but I did do something much worse – all for her. It didn’t matter in the end, though. We just weren’t meant for each other.”

“You have a lot of nerve to come to me thinking I give a single, solitary fuck about your feelings for her,” you snapped, and your eyes met for a moment then, but he averted his gaze. There was a poignant and tense silence before he spoke again.

“Can I ask you something?” Nick inquired, appearing extremely pensive. “Did you ever stop loving me?”

“No. Not for a second, despite my best efforts,” you replied honestly, and he smiled sadly at your quip as he looked down. “I know we weren’t perfect, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone. That’s why I can’t imagine how you were so okay when I was gone, after we’d broken up…. I guess you didn’t mean what you wrote in that song about me. Because you said ‘forever,’ now I spend every day alone and missing you.”

“I meant every word of that song,” Nick replied earnestly.

“Please don’t, Nick. Let’s just end this conversation here. I don’t even know why we’re discussing this,” you whispered, shaking your head and closing your eyes, as if that would somehow prevent his words from sinking in. You stood and took a couple steps toward the door of the Academy.

“Will you please just hear me out?”

“Why should I?” you yelled, turning to him with a blend of hurt and rage written all over your face, although the rage was what overcame your voice.

“Because I still fucking love you!” Nick shouted, his voice ripe with conviction. He exhaled loudly, then ran his hands over his face and leaned back on the staircase. “In that song, I wrote that I’d love you forever. And you may find it hard to believe, but I’ve never stopped loving you. I won’t deny that I loved Sabrina too, but I’ve realized with hindsight that it was a combination of infatuation and love – more so infatuation. But with you, it was only ever love. A deep, genuine, natural, true love.”

You found yourself somewhere between confused and shocked. What he said made no sense to you, because you’d spent this long believing that he hadn’t given you a second thought since getting with Sabrina. Yet here he was, pouring his heart out to you, and telling you that he still loves you.

Nick stood and took a couple steps toward you, now arm’s length away.

“I know I don’t deserve it, so I won’t fault you in the least if you say no, but…. Would you be willing to give me another chance?”

You looked at him then – really looked at him. You studied him thoroughly, and stared deep into those big, brown eyes of his, which held so much vulnerability, contrition, pain… and love.

“Don’t fuck it up this time, Scratch. I’ll take your life if you do. That’s a promise.”

The very next morning, a beautiful bouquet of blood red roses awaited you in the hallway outside your bedroom door.

Driver’s License – Olivia Rodrigo

[potteresque-ire]

Hi! I have been reading your posts and responses to anonymous and I am inclined to comment on your broadly realistic views and detailed analystic answers and let us not forget your ability to be warm in putting forward your opinions. I am truly a huge fan. Thank you for being a station for various answer seekers.

If you have time and patience, please elaborate on the situation GG is still facing post 227. Recently I read various comments insinuating GG copied DD for Douyin night which is absurd but the implication that only one party is still being targeted unnecessarily raise hackles of a lot of solo fans. And I, under any circumstances, DO NOT believe the involvement of the other party. Firm believer of BJYXSZD.

My point is what is being done to stop these antis from targeting GG. Since one of the motive to target GG is to severe the relationship of GG and DD, IMO at least. Does constant attack (external stimulus) on GG (belittling him by comparing him to DD) may have the possibility to effect their relationship (internal reaction)? Objectively yes, but given your perception of their relationship, what is your opinion in this matter, however subjective it may be?

Moreover, how much extreme and sometimes irrational analysis done by bjyx community can lead to harm to both of them especially GG?

Also, I have seen DD being the captain of BJYX in various circumstances but also throwing off people from their old predicted/maintened theories especially in case of Kadians. I am not sure how much to trust these 'candies' since he has a reputation of not giving a f*** of others opinion. So why would he post GG related or non-related content with same kadians. I mean if he posts private content with GG related kadian then why post promotional content with GG related kadian. Does it imply that kadians are related to GG or not or he doesn't care and we are thinking too much. I am not sure what I am writing now, maybe multitude of thoughts poring out here. I am extremely sorry for that.

I do not know whether people believe or not but 1st post by GG yesterday had initials YB in the circle. Not at all explicit, and depends on believers but I felt like he was just trolling BJYX, it may be good naturedly but after his promotional brand picture of shrimp in bunny's hand. I do not know I just felt, dissappointed/bitter/unsure about all of this. I think it is normal to feel this way from time to time even for SZD because along with emotional investment we have rational perspective which is necessary to scrutinize evidence(maybe) from time to time.

I whole heartedly apologize for writing an essay length ask, this is the reason I wanted your patience 😅.

If any other blogger wants to add or comment on this please feel free to do so. Your suggestions are highly welcomed. 🙏

Hello Anon!

I take it that your questions about safety are concerned about the behaviour of c-solos and c-turtles? International fans aren’t likely to put Gg and Dd at any risk. That said, however, frequent fighting among i-fans would likely drain Gg and Dd’s international fanbase, as many fans do not enjoy being a combative atmosphere (I, for one, will run away as quickly as a turtle can run!). Lost i-fans can’t be easily replenished, whether they’re turtles or solos ~ The Untamed, as a foreign language show so beloved that fans are willing to scale tall language and cultural barriers to understand it, isn’t something that comes around often. (stanning Gg and/or Dd does take a lot of work!)

About the arguments. I probably only know about a fraction of them since I do not interact directly with fans outside Tumblr . As far as I can tell, however, recent arguments among c-solos and c-turtles have been ordinary fights, and also, fairly “bi-directional” between the solos (ie. I don’t think Gg or Dd has been relatively exempt from attacks compared to each other). 

These arguments can be heated and some of the attacks may sound vicious, but there’s nothing much to worry about from a safety angle, as they haven’t caught the attention of those outside the fan circles.

The theorising by turtles are also not inherently dangerous. c-turtles have mostly been careful about keeping their discussions among themselves. The only risk it may lead to in the future, that I can think of right now, is the associated YiZhan content on China-based websites (ex. Bilibili, Douyin), which has become fairly plentiful. YiZhan candies used to be relatively obscure given the guidelines of CP fans to keep them among themselves (they call this practice 圈地自萌, literally, drawing a circle on the ground and have fun in it by oneself). These days, however, anyone who’s curious can get a good sense of YiZhan’s story by browsing Bilibili. 

This probably contributes to the continued growth of the turtle population; however, some of this content is created by non-turtles who seek viewership and have little concern over Gg and Dd’s safety. They are the ones who re-upload the BTS, for example, despite the repeated pleas and warnings by the “站姐”s—the superfans who take/purchase these videos—as well as the turtles to not do that. If these content creators go overboard, there’s a possibility that YiZhan content may get caught in the government’s “Eradicating Pornography and Illegal Publications”（掃黃打非) movement. The movement originated in the mid 2000s, and its recent waves have been used as pretext to remove LGBT+ and BL content on line (I will eventually set up a post re: those events). Just last month (2020 Dec), Bilibili has been explicitly named by the government for hosting questionable materials, which means it’s already under scrutiny. Sweeps performed on an entire website are usually broad-based enough that no specific individuals are targeted; however, the government also encourages, with financial incentives, the reporting of specific content and has set up a dedicated website for doing so. While all YiZhan content has no direct relation to Gg and Dd, removal of such content may cause an over-reaction from fans, which can, in turn, lead to accusations of poor fan management by Gg and Dd. Most people will also assume the YiZhan content to be created by turtles.

(Another example of how an alleged turtle mis-step can get the YiZhan fandoms and Gg and Dd tied to the 掃黃打非 movement: a few days ago, a Weibo post showed a photo of a hardcover version of an explicit BJYX fanfic, reportedly sold for profit, and GG haters were calling for an arrest for “illegal publication.” So far, there’s minimal noise on the issue, so it isn’t something to worry about. It can also be fake news, which is so bountiful on the platform and on every aspect of daily life that most die a very peaceful, very well-deserved death.).

Whether fan arguments / theories may affect Gg and Dd’s relationship (assuming they’re in a relationship) … my guess is, not much. Gg and Dd are busy people, unlikely to closely follow their fans’ discussions. Again, I expect effects to be felt only if the arguments get out of hand ~ as in, if they begin to involve the public and/or the government.

As for the question about what is being done to stop Gg being targeted: fan wars are incredibly common in China (as in everywhere else), and Gg and Dd’s aren’t special in that sense ~ it’s just that as turtles, we know about those surrounding Gg and Dd and they feel significant to us. No individuals can stop a fan war ~ all we can do is to not join these wars ourselves.

Personally, I think the international fan base of Gg and Dd, as solos and cpfs, have more chance to achieve peace than its Chinese counterparts — if they choose to want that. Popularity in China is not only quantified (which is likely true everywhere, by marketing departments), but very visibly so. Sales numbers, votes, traffic attributed to each idol are frequently released to the public, possibly to foster competition among fans and drive these numbers further upward. c-turtles’ demonstrated strong performance in pushing these metrics has made them a target to those who wish to have usurp their consumer power. They, therefore, have good reasons to be wary of anyone who try to sway them from their “turtle-ship”, whether to turn them into solos or to lure them into an entirely different fandom. The swaying messages are also not always obvious, not always a direct “your cp suck”.  They can be subtle, many even come from netizens who appear to be fellow turtles, who may say “oh, maybe we (turtles) are wrong” or “we have to be realistic; Gg and Dd will never look at each other publicly again”—messages that cast doubt and sink morale in a fandom that’s already running an uphill battle. Remember: traditionally, CP fandoms are not expected or welcomed to last, and solos have been happy to (correctly) point out that the BTS, the origin of the most solid “evidences” of BJYXSZD, are getting older by the day. c-turtles can’t expect anyone else to help defend their ship if something happens, given CP fandoms’ lack of respectability, given YiZhan being a real person M/M pairing that is often frowned upon. So it’s understandable, to me at least, why c-turtles are on guard, and occasionally, clash with those who they feel may be trying to take away what they love.

i-turtles, I feel, don’t have that many reasons to fight. We don’t really have other fandoms (for example, the up and coming danmeis—the adapted BL dramas) vying for our attention (and wallets). No one can put an expiration date on the YiZhan communities except ourselves.

Another way to see this is: we—as in, the combined Gg + Dd international fanbase, the solos + CPFs—are lucky in a way the fans in Gg and Dd’s home country are not. Collectively, we’re much further removed from the pressure to perform as fans, which is immense in China with their fan circle culture and fan economy. i-shrimps and i-motorcycles ~ some of you are reading this, I think? (hello!) ~ here are my humble thoughts: the solo/turtle ratio of Gg and Dd’s international fans doesn’t make much of an impact on Gg and Dd’s star status, on the popularity metrics that matter. Our spending power is limited outside China’s borders, and while Gg and Dd likely love us equally as fans, our adoration for them doesn’t really matter much, if at all, to the production/media/commercial companies that control the trajectories of their careers. 

Along this line, the turtles’ “double loyalty” doesn’t have much of an ill effect, because there are few popularity contests here that mean much; few times (if any) when the turtles must face the dilemma of whether to vote for Gg or Dd because only a single vote is allowed; few situations where they have only x amount of dollars and must split it equally between Gg or Dd’s endorsements. There’s also much less cause to worry that i-turtles may draw the attention, or ire of the Chinese government ~ the whole international fanbase is too far away, too spread out to destabilise the regime in any way.

What the turtles do have in common with you, the solos, is their knowledge, their love for Gg/Dd. Knowledge, in particular. The people who know about Gg/Dd are still far and in between—at where I am, at least, and my guess is, it’s likely true for many of you too. Think of the turtles as people who you can talk to about your favourite star in places where few people know about him, can help promote The Untamed  far and wide—many people still haven’t heard of the show, and they deserve to.

For the turtles ~ no one can take away our turtle-ship identity, as long as we don’t give it away. No one can report on the our communities to the government and get them dissolved. Our votes, our spending habits are no one else’s business but ours here.

So, Anon, here’s what I think, and these are all very personal opinions, very personal decisions on how to navigate fandom …

I truly hope that we, as the international fanbase, can try to use this luck that we have. Make our communities not mere copies of their (combative) Chinese counterparts but something different, something with our own flavour, something with more peace and less fighting.

Specifically, I see little cause to try to persuade/dissuade anyone to be a solo/turtle. I find them… not the best use of time. Why? Because frankly, neither solos nor turtles have a better grasp of who Gg and Dd are. Neither solos nor turtles have a truly good grasp of who Gg and Dd are. These discussions are therefore bound to end up with more ill will than conclusions, since both sides are short of facts.

We’re all short of facts as audiences, who’ve all only seen a tiny sliver of who Gg and Dd are as human beings.

I don’t mean Gg and Dd’s star image is fake ~ it’s just that, their star image is their “work face”, and even I, a lowly turtle, must act somewhat differently in my own office. It’s part of being professional.

Gg and Dd’s star image are their professional face, and no professionals worth a salt truly ignore other’s opinions, especially when the profession is being an entertainer whose job is to face and hold the attention of the public. 

This is true for Gg; this is true for Dd.

Social media accounts are also part of Gg and Dd’s professional face ~ whatever is posted on there will be scrutinised by millions of fans, and they know that. The posts do provide some insights about Gg an Dd’s personalities, but they can’t be expected to show a complete picture. No parts of these posts, therefore, whether it’s the content or the kadians, are sufficient evidences for / against any aspect of their personal lives (especially as private an aspect as their romantic lives). Anon, you mentioned promotional marketing materials, and here’s my understanding of them ~ ambassadors such as Gg and Dd have minimal control over their design. The shrimp-holding bunny you’re referring to, for example, is very likely provided by the company.

However, may I also add this? Please try to not think of the shrimps / motorcycles as enemies of the turtles. Millions of people are behind each of these labels, and true for any group of this size, a fraction of its members are bound to be annoying. A small fraction may be awful, even. But they don’t represent the entire group. The shrimps are not only Gg’s fans, many of them have supported him longer than any turtle (since turtle-ship can’t be older than 2018); they’re also the reasons why Gg is in the industry ~ they voted for him in X-Fire. Likewise, a subset of motorcycles have been with Dd since UNIQ; they were there when the Korean ban effectively dissolved his group; they stuck with him when he was attacked for taking on the role of LWJ.

We’re all Gg and Dd’s fans, if you ask people outside the fandom. Remember: few outside China understand why heated arguments can occur between a bunch of shrimps, turtles and motorbikes. (It sounds a bit kafkaesque, just typing it out.)

It’s important not to lose sight too, that Gg and Dd’s social media accounts, where many new candies are found, primarily function as bridges of communication between them and their fans. These accounts do have different degrees of “professionalism” ~ Weibo and the official accounts being more formal, and Oasis, Douyin being more laid back and intimate; still, they all serve similar purposes. They’re not candy generators, or a script Gg and Dd have an obligation to follow to confirm / refute BJYXSZD.

Also: these accounts are accessible and watched by the public, not all of whom are friendly to Gg and Dd.

Re: Gg’s drawing on Oasis. He used the account as it’s intended for—to interact with his fans (the caption of the first draft was an unspoken invitation to shower him with ideas) and maybe, to show off a little (it was a very nice piece of artwork ~ a comment that I, sadly, haven’t seen much of). I doubt he posted his drawing because he wanted fans to carpet-search for traces of Dd in it (even though he probably expected that would happen); I very much doubt he posted his drawing because he wanted his fans to fight over scratch marks or black dots.  

If these fights keep happening, I can imagine a possible outcome. He’ll stop showing us his drawings. His social media accounts will become less and less personal, as they already have.

I’ll share with you my thoughts about candies too, while I’m at it. These are probably not-so-popular opinions, so please take them all with a grain of salt.(Salted caramels? 😊 )

I haven’t looked at why candies are called candies, but I find the name appropriate for how I think of them ~ candies are 1) neither evidences or truth, 2) sweet, 3) treats (non-essential, not like the main course).

The first point is, perhaps, the one I try the hardest to keep in mind. There are posts out there claiming the candies as made-beliefs—generated from edited pictures or videos, exaggerated translations, and their interpretations forced by ��guidances” in the annotations/narration. There are also posts claiming that turtles are deceivers, or have been deceived by brainwashers who maliciously created these make-beliefs. A turtle may assume these posts are all lies, all made by antis. 

But, speaking turtle-to-turtle, I’d venture to say this … there’s some truth in the *first* statement. Many candies do, indeed, taste different if their taster returns to the original source—not necessarily unsweet, but less sweet. Candies, remember, are generated by fans like you and I. Same for c-candies ~ they aren’t endorsed by Gg and Dd, aren’t necessarily closer to the truth just because of the relative proximity of their birthplaces to their leads. 

Candy generation is The Tradition of CP fandoms. It’s a celebrated skill, and who doesn’t want to generate a candy that will be talked about, that will be part of the BJYX canon, for as long as the fandom lasts? Some fans are, therefore, also more … efficient in the “marketing” of the candies they generated — in persuading others that their candies are evidences, the truth. “Guidance” photos and videos (which pinpoint the place to watch, sometimes with appropriate sound effects for emphasis) have come about that way, and because they’re easy to digest—especially where language barriers exist—they end up spreading to i-fandoms.

These photos and videos may look more professional / trustworthy, but they often have an additional layer of subjectivity ~ on top of the already subjective opinion of what makes a candy. Translations (of BTS, fake rumours house content etc) also introduce a subjective element. Word choices can significant modify the tone of a conversation; speakers of different Chinese dialects may also have different interpretations of the same phrases. Example: I, as a non Chongqing/Sichuanese speaker, can guess the literal meaning of the “puppy” term Gg used for Dd — 狗崽崽 (gou zai zai) — but I also had to rely on others to tell me how endearing the term is; me being a Chinese speaker actually doesn’t make my interpretation any more valid, or authoritative, in this scenario, because my dialect doesn’t use this term at all. 

It doesn’t mean the people who’ve put in the work have any less-than-good intent; the vast majority of them come from a place of deep love. It’s just that we all carry our own perspectives, and as fans, our strong emotions in our fanworks.

This is why candies are often insufficient as good “points” for arguments, why they fail to convince non-believers, sometimes to the disappointment of some turtles. As evidences, they aren’t objective enough; they’re also often touch upon the assumption that’s mark the fundamental difference between solo and cp fans — the assumption that Gg and Dd are (not) together. Take, for example, this segment from a (polite) ask I got from an anon solo:

All the matching clothes, jewelry, shoes etc. Stopped being valid candy when I realized that the brands have popular stars "endorse" their products. The lightning pendant? Other actors have also worn it. Does that mean they are in a 3-way with (Gg) and (Dd)? Probs not.

Solo anon was correct! Brands have star endorsers, and other entertainers have, indeed, worn the same lightning pendant. The implied argument is also valid: people who don’t care about, don’t even know about each other can wear the same things. Most of us do that on a daily basis with our mass-produced garments.

However, a counterargument can also be made to the statement above, and easily: even the most precious, most beautiful wedding rings (say, from Tiffany!) are not exclusive to the first RL couple who bought them. It doesn’t mean the first RL couple is sleeping with all the couples who bought the same rings afterwards, doesn’t mean those rings aren’t significant to every one of these couples as romantic mementos. More often than not, couples wear matching things not because these things are exclusive to them—because how often can one find things that only exist as a single pair in this world? They wear matching things because they want to see something on themselves that remind them of their significant other and so, as long as the things aren’t so prevalent that everyone is wearing them, they can already serve their purpose.

But you see, Anon, that arguing over this would’ve been a waste of time? Because the solo came in with the assumption that Gg and Dd were not a couple, and the counterargument was made with the assumption that they were. The pendants alone are insufficient to prove either side correct or wrong. No one knows why those pendants ended up on Gg and Dd’s necks, except Gg and Dd and their teams. If I were to argue with anon solo, we can go on and on and on until we’re both left with bitter tastes in our mouths and WWX-red in our eyes, and forget the one thing that really matters: we’re both Gg’s fans.

(We could’ve spent the time talking about how that scene in The Wolf with Ji Chong throwing Zai Xing in the water is ❤️.) (I can’t believe the script waited 30+ episodes to do it. 😂)

This leads to my second point, Anon. Candies are meant to be sweet, and they’re meant to be sweet for you. In Chinese, a term for an expert candy person is a 嗑學家 (the candy-eating in CP fandoms is called 嗑糖 (ketang) ～ with 嗑 ke denoting a specific form of eating that requires breaking something open first with teeth—such as watermelon seeds; a 嗑學家 is a 嗑 (ke)-ologist). A 嗑學家 isn’t someone who can recall the longest list of candies, or spread the most candies around, or convince the most people that the CP behind the candies is real; they are those who can find their own candies in a source material, and be overjoyed by the sweetness of their discoveries without outside help. To me, at least, this term encapsulates the subjective nature of candies ~ what’s right for you may not be right for me and vice versa, and that’s perfectly all right. In other words, there are many candies out there but you’re not required to believe in all of them; instead, you’re free to choose candies to your own liking, compose your own version of the BJYX canon that you love, that you find sweet.

Wait, but you may say. Doesn’t that make my canon fantasy? Yes and no, because candies are based on real events. They’re interpretations, which sit somewhere between reality and fantasy. They’re like … opinion shows on news channels.

But what if I need to convince people of my canon —

Your “opposition”’s canon is as fantastical, and as real as yours — maybe it isn’t, but neither of you have a way to prove it one way or another.

Wouldn’t solos call me delulu, or clowns?

Maybe. But one step outside the fandom, and all of us fans—solo and cpfs—are delulu, clowns.

(That’s why while I’ve used the cpn label, I haven’t called myself delulu, or a clown. Anyone who thinks I have the truth about the love story about a pair of idol I haven’t met from thousands of miles away … the joke’s probably on them, don’t you think?)

Of course and again, Anon, this is only my take! I like candies precisely because I like to watch the real-time generation of candies, which ones different people claim as their own, which candies fall away and which stick around in the fandom over time. As a fic writer, this ship has gifted me with a treasure trove of information ~ what do people think of as romantic gestures, as give-away signs of love? The fun/amazing part of BJYX is that candies are available for so many different answers to these questions. Some people think of longing gazes and sweet smiles; some think of touches that can’t be helped (the many, many, many “fights”); some think of service (buying foods, designing clothes); some think of caring about the other’s well-being (throat candies and dumplings + noodles + crackers); some think of being The Other’s One and Only Exception (Dd being so talkative around Gg, Gg being so … fussy around Dd); some think of expressions through the arts (songs, drawings, dances); some think of grand gestures (the wave heart in the ocean); some think of matching clothes and symbolic accessories (rings); some think of birthdays and anniversaries (314, 622, the first snow); some think of sharing life’s hassles and small tidbits (fake rumour house); some think of … just looking VERY good together. Etc etc.

Some think of a subset of these, some think of all of these…

(Personally, I’m a very picky candy eater. I know about many of them, but only a small fraction impresses on me.)

(Still, I love watching candies. I love watching the joy of people sweetened by them ~ or, when c-turtles exclaim kswl! — the short form of ke si wo le! 嗑死我了! I “ke”ed so much I’m dying!)

This gets to 3), Anon, and I apologise to you too, for answering your not-essay-at-all with an essay! Candies are, to me, treats, and I don’t expect them to come at any frequencies higher than treats do. The reason isn’t because I don’t like candies ~ I enjoy watching them, as I said, even if I don’t eat many of them; the reason is because I don’t expect anyone’s romantic love to leave a trace in everything they do. For example, if I truly find myself in a SZD/SJD discussion re: Gg’s drawing, I’d say the lack of Dd in Gg’s self-portrait doesn’t really mean much. Even if Gg and Dd were head-over-heels in love with one another, Gg doesn’t have to put Dd in everything he touches. Likewise, Dd doesn’t have to present a consistent, or decipherable story with his kadians. This is true for the real-life couples around us too, isn’t it? They don’t perform every single act in life leaving a noticeable trace of their significant other. And the misunderstanding that couples do that — that their romantic lives take over who they are as individuals — IMO, partially explains why people who choose to not to date or marry, people who’re aro-aces, often have a difficult time convincing others that they’re complete humans. Romantic love is, of course, very, very important and can be life altering, but it also isn’t everything about a person ~ especially not if a person who has a career as exciting as Gg’s and Dd’s. Gg and Dd who also have friends, family, (many) talents and interests …

(And lots of ugly icons on their cell phones. Yes, I’m talking about you, Gg. That long-armed Pepe from your 2018 snowless Beijing post will give me nightmares…)

[callmemythicalminx]

❄️5th of December❄️

❄️Headcanons ~ What Sam, Paulie and Tommy are like as fathers❄️

Fandom: Mafia Definitive Edition

Warnings: Very fluffy, mentions of death though..

Summary: A small collection of my theories on how our boys act before and during their time as a fathers. 

A/N: I’m being evil adding a bit of angst in this, hehehe. But these headcanons are fluffy as all hell. 

Dedicated to:  @kaiiiiiiparkerismyhusband @lolita-wolfson @xxsamanthaxx @kneelingforvillains @loutino20 @levitate-gengar @dorothynerding ​ @blackbladevika ​ @my-blog-for-me ​ @rammstein-obsession ​ @octorebel @demonsouthere ​@mayday1284

---

Sam

Sam is a really nervous dad to be.

He didn’t have the best upbringing. His dad was a deadbeat drunk.

It’s one of the reasons why Sam prefers smoking to drinking. 

He’s scared he won’t be a good enough father or that because he didn’t have a good upbringing, he won’t be able to do it. 

You assure him that he will be an amazing father, but he’s still wary. 

Kissing your bump when he gets home from work - nearly every night.

He loves speaking with you with his head pressed against your stomach, waiting to feel a kick. 

When you give birth to your first child, he perfectly slips into the role of a father. 

He cries when he holds your child for the first time. 

Vows straightaway that he’ll do anything in the world to keep his kids happy and loved. 

If you have a daughter, she’s going to have him wrapped around her finger from the moment she looks at him.

God help her when she gets older and wants to start dating and acting like an adult.

Sam will take ‘protective father’ to a whole new level. 

Every new potential boyfriend your daughter finds is getting interrogated by Sam and uncle Tommy and Paulie. 

Will call ahead to any bar or club your daughter plans to go to, so that they give her the best service. 

This man is going to ball his eyes out at your daughter’s weddings 

If you have sons, he’ll definitely worry more about being a good father. 

Makes it his mission to bond with them as much as possible, so that they know he cares about them, even if he’s at work a lot.

Sam desperately tries to keep your sons out of the business for as long as possible, as he’s so afraid something might happen to them. 

He does teach them how to use guns should they need to protect themselves and you when Sam’s not there. 

Also tries to not smoke around them, going outside when he needs one so he doesn’t influence them. 

He cries at each of your children’s births. 

This guy ADORES being a dad.

After having such a rough upbringing and lonely life until you stepped into his life, coming home to his kids running to meet him at the door and you ready to take him into your arms is the most incredible thing he’s ever going to experience.

Y’know that scene at the end of the first Bioshock game? The good ending where Jack dies with his daughters around him? 

That’s how Sam will eventually die, surrounded by all his children, grandchildren, Tommy and Paulie if they’re still alive with their families, and you. 

He’ll pass away knowing all the pain of his upbringing was worth it as he got to experience what a real family feels like with you and his descendants and friends. 

Your family with Sam will always be his whole world. 

Paulie

Paulie is the most excited about being a dad.

He didn’t have a good upbringing too, but unlike Sam, is more determined than scared.

He wants to be better than his father was and is prepared to do anything to love and care for his children. 

Because he’s so excited, he gets really nervous about so much stuff during your first pregnancy. 

If you feel even a little ill? You’re taking the day off. You’re feet hurting? He has to carry you wherever you need to go. 

Paulie’s favorite thing to do ever is just talk to the bump, even when it’s tiny. He doesn’t want it to ‘feel unloved’... His words, not yours.

He loves the thought that something you’ve created together is growing inside you. 

Is utterly hopeless when you’re giving birth. 

Will definitely run around like a headless chicken when you go into labour. 

Cries with you when you have contractions and when the baby eventually comes out. 

This man SOBS when he first holds his children. 

He can’t believe that he finally has a family, after worrying that it wouldn’t happen for so long. 

Paulie will be the most chaotic dad known to man. 

Will definitely crawl into your children’s crib with them to help get them to calm down and sleep. 

Is too easily persuaded by his kids to do dumb shit. 

You’re raising your children and Paulie to be honest. 

If you have a daughter, she becomes a carbon copy of him as he grows up. 

Like same mannerisms, same goofiness, the laugh, everything. 

Unlike Sam, Paulie isn’t as protective of your daughter when she becomes an adult.

He’ll still beat the shit out of anyone who crosses her. 

But will at least give her more freedom, excitedly asking about her adventures and nights out like he’s a teenage girl instead of a grown man. 

This man is so goddamn proud when she gets married. 

If you do end up having sons, they end up becoming more like you, which Paulie is so grateful for. 

He’s okay with his daughter being a chaotic badass because to be honest, she needs to be in the society you live in. 

However, with his sons, Paulie doesn’t want them to follow the same path, going into dangerous business, spending most of their lives alone. 

You sons can still fight well thanks to their father teaching them, but they only use it when they need to. 

Unsurprisingly, Paulie loves everything about being a dad, even all the stressful and tiring stuff. 

Sleepless nights, diapers, crying babies, whatever, he doesn’t mind it.

He’s so thankful that he has a family that he’s gonna enjoy every minute even when times are tough. 

He really wants to run a family pizzeria one day, which comes true eventually.

I feel like Paulie will die peacefully in his sleep after a day spent with all of his family celebrating something like his birthday. 

Though it’s sad for you and the rest of his family, you all feel happy at least knowing he went to sleep knowing he was loved and had been the most caring and loving dad. 

Goddamn does this man love his family. 

Tommy

Tommy is excited but is also very nervous about being a dad, for completely different reasons to Paulie and Sam.

Instead of worrying about the past, he’s worried about the future and if he’s gonna always be able to be there for his kids. 

He can’t bear the thought that he might get thrown in jail or die at any point and won’t ever get to see his family again. 

Spooning. This man loves it.

Sleeping with you in his arms, one hand against your bump is his favorite thing to do, especially after a long day at work. 

Tommy is also very hopeless when you go into labour, running around without a clue of what to do. 

Willingly lets you crush his hand when the time comes to push the baby out. 

He hates seeing you in so much pain, but when he sees your babies for the first time, it makes it all worth it. 

As soon as your first baby is in his arms, he vows then and there that nothing will ever stop him from seeing his children. 

Tommy, like Sam, will be helpless against his daughter’s charm. 

He’s definitely the kinda dad who’s gonna remind her everyday how strong she is, so she never doubts herself.

Surprisingly, he’s more protective of her when she’s an adult than Sam is, especially because he knows how bad some of the kids are her age. 

Whenever she has a date, Tommy will no doubt just sit glaring at them when her boyfriend comes to the house. 

You’ll make conversation with the poor boy while Tommy just gives him the ‘dad glare’. 

Basically threatens to rip out the kid’s throat if he hurts his daughter, with just his eyes.

Will not approve the marriage until her fiance has been thoroughly interrogated by Tommy and her uncles. 

Manages to keep a lid on his tears at the wedding until the end of the night, crying in your arms because he’s lost his ‘little girl’.

This man is amazing with his sons. 

They grow up to be gentlemen because of him. 

Tommy pushes them to be more academic, trying to keep them from the business. 

Still teaches them how to fight though, knowing that because of his job, his kids and wife will always be a target. 

Even though he doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing most of the time, there’s nothing he loves more than being a dad. 

He will die similarly to Sam, with his whole family around him.

It’s a peaceful death and he slips away smiling, knowing he kept those he loved safe and cared for them well. 

There is nothing more important to him than his family.   

---

Thanks for reading minxies! 💕

[bigskydreaming]

I’m almost more bothered by fics that don’t take an actively antagonistic stance towards Dick’s character, because what’s so often viewed as a GOOD storyline for Dick in fanfics is just like.....100% connected to my issues with fanon.

What I mean is this:

So many Batfam fics, even when they think they’re being kind or generous to Dick’s character, treat any relationship Dick develops or demonstrates with Jason in-story as Dick’s redemption arc, for being a shitty brother/person before a certain point.

And then on top of that, a ton of fics that include all the way through Damian by their starting point, then proceed to use any relationship (or attempt at one) between Dick and Tim.....as Dick’s redemption arc, for being a shitty brother/person to Tim at the Robin-Red Robin transition.

And then on top of THAT, you have the Batfam fics that focus on post-Spyral interactions with his family as....Dick’s redemption arc for being a shitty brother/person there, and during the Ric Grayson era we had ‘fix-it fic’ after fic whose idea of fixing it was picking things up at some point after Dick got his memories back and then proceeding to write Dick’s redemption arc for Ric being a shitty brother/person there. And even going all the way back to Bruce and Dick’s era of estrangement before Tim came along, there’s still absurdly so many fics over the years dedicated to....Dick redeeming himself in other characters’ eyes for that chasm with absolutely no effort in the same fics shown towards having Bruce work towards any kind of remption for his own behavior.

Historically speaking, the vast majority of fics tagged as Dick Grayson, stretching back years and still very much present now as well, are almost predominantly ALL somehow some kind of redemption arc for Dick.....

Specifically in regards to events and dynamics which have absolutely no basis (or at most an extremely skewed and one-sided one) in the source material. 

In fact, in the majority of most of the situations Dick’s being ‘redeemed’ for in fanfics, he either did the complete OPPOSITE of what he’s being punished/forced to make up for in fics, such as how his efforts in reaching out to Jason despite his own understandable bitterness stands in direct contradiction of the years of neglect and bitterness towards Jason that fics posit and theorize existed purely so that he has something TO redeem himself for in fics.....

Or then other times in the source material, he’s the literal actual victim of the things that he’s not only being held solely accountable and in need of redemption for in fics, like when he was beaten into going undercover for the sake of his family.....and then has to redeem himself for that in his family’s eyes......or when he was alienated, neglected and gaslit by his family while amnesiac.....and then has to redeem himself for that in his family’s eyes.....

And even in the cases where its SAID within a fic’s narrative (or more accurately, usually its said in the comments sections of fics as fic authors respond to people being disgusted with Dick by saying ‘no don’t be too hard on him’ and offering up justifications for Dick’s actual actions and understanding for his POV that for some reason never make it into the actual text of fics), like, even then, at most these fics TELL us that the flaws of Dick’s that they’re focusing on are understandable and its just human of him to be resentful of Jason as Robin, or overwhelmed and grief-stricken when he made Damian Robin at Tim’s expense, or traumatized and not thinking clearly when he ‘agreed’ to go undercover at Spyral.....

But meanwhile, what the fics actually SHOW us, beyond a few half-hearted defenses of Dick that usually are not at all substantiated by any other characters.....is Dick remorsefully doing the work of making up for the things he did so terribly, terribly wrong and that there’s actually no excuse for.

With this showing being a lot more evident and focused-upon than we ever see fics show Jason working towards earning Tim’s forgiveness and trust for almost killing him, or Damian doing the same, fics just skip past these things entirely to say ‘oh they’re better now’ but like....with Dick....its like the only storyline a ton of writers have any interest in writing for Dick....

Is a redemption arc.

Actively focusing on and SHOWING Dick putting in the work of being apologetic, remorseful, self-loathing, and absolutely committed to doing better by his siblings even if they never actually forgive him - with whether or not he can eventually ‘earn’ his way to a positive relationship with them far from a given - and any and all of his positive attributes or the positives of his actual relationships with various characters all but completely ignored or glossed over, to keep the focus entirely on Dick learning to do better.....

Than the crimes or slights against his siblings that authors first manufactured or exaggerated or took completely out of context, just to HAVE a reason for Dick to need to do better in the first place.

As I’ve said many times before, anyone is free to do whatever they want with fanfic, its an innately transformative medium, but its always going to be significant and worth attention in my mind, that so much of the transformation from the source material when it comes to Dick Grayson is entirely focused around and committed to transforming him from a hero that everyone loves and respects, a guy that always does his best to go above and beyond for family even when he has understandable reasons not to, and the literal inspiration for almost every second generation hero out there, including his own successors......

Into a guy that most people can’t stand, regard as irrelevant to their own careers let alone anyone worth looking up to, and constantly letting people down, especially his family.

All while there’s little to no attention paid to all the reasons in the source material that other characters most definitely have things they’ve said or done to Dick Grayson that need or deserve redeeming for.

Like the physical violence every single member of his family except Duke has inflicted on him at some point.

Or the victim blaming that’s so ingrained into his storylines and reader receptions of his storylines that even the fics that tackle redeeming Jason, Tim, etc for their behavior towards Dick post-Spyral limit this particular redemption to ‘we’re sorry we treated you badly when we didn’t know all the facts’ instead of ‘we’re sorry we treated you badly, full stop’ and ‘we’re sorry we passed judgment without even TRYING to know what all the facts were’ and ‘we’re sorry we display so little interest in your life or your traumas that even now when we’ve been informed you actually died and had to be forced into pretending to stay dead, we have zero interest in exploring if there’s anything else we might be missing if we could miss out on the whole ‘oh you really DID die’ part in the first place, and forget about us actually owning and apologizing for the specifics of how our behavior towards you was unacceptable even if we HAD been right in our interpretation of events.’

Or when mentions of the slutshaming and victim-blaming he endured during the Tarantula and Mirage storylines are limited to just that....mentions made of offscreen characters like Babs or the Titans.....with pretty much no stories I can think of, existing as ‘redemption arcs’ that tackle those characters actually working to redeem themselves for their behavior and trying to earn back Dick’s broken trust in them. Its usually just Jason and/or others finding out, telling Dick ‘hey your friends shouldn’t have done that either’ and then going off and murdering Mirage and Tarantula, the end, because....that fixes everything?

And forget about Bruce redeeming himself for his behavior - the way he works to put in the effort and fix things in so many ‘Jason returns to the family’ fics - but even when actual mention is made of the things Bruce HAS done wrong to Dick or needs redeeming for, its mostly just waved off as ancient history that he’s remorseful about but there’s no apparent need or effort to focus on Bruce putting that remorseful energy into action and actively on the page trying to bridge the gap he created in SO MANY storylines, again and again and again. ‘Bruce is just like that,’ a lot of stories shrug, about the time Bruce made Dick actually feel unwelcome in his own home and forced him to be the one to leave, unlike the way ‘its unacceptable for Dick to be like this’ energy is applied to stories about Dick forcing Tim to leave Wayne Manor....an action that has to be invented for a story’s purposes, of course, given that in the actual source story, Dick relocated himself and Damian to the penthouse anyway, and Wayne Manor was open and available to Tim and Dick never so much as implied otherwise.

Or look at how the adoption issue so often plays out....with it treated as though Bruce finally adopting Dick in adulthood just ‘fixes’ all the angst before that point, like it just overwrites everything he felt or experienced before and up until that.....with very little fandom energy paid to neither just castigating Bruce for not adopting Dick earlier or acting like adoption is a magic all-better now band-aid, but rather examining that both these things can coexist, and Dick can be happy and relieved and pleased to finally have the adoption he not-so-secretly wanted, even if only in adulthood, but that doesn’t mean the mental and emotional upset of his later teen years when he really, really, really could have used that declaration of being family rather than just a ward....like, there’s room for that to have still taken a toll and be worthy of awareness and regret on Bruce’s part, not for taking so long to adopt Dick, but for the damage Dick felt and suffered through BECAUSE of it. 

Its not even about vilifying or punishing Bruce for this, because ironically, like....redemption arcs aren’t actually supposed to be just about punishment or whatever? Its about acknowledging where wrong was done and GETTING what that means for the person who was wronged.....even if it can’t be undone.

People can get this when its Dick being written as having the redemption arc.

So where the hell is this understanding of what actual redemption MEANS, when its Dick that other characters have things to make up for?

The funny, ironic, cognitive dissonant thing about Dick Grayson in fanfics, is the vast majority of his appearances and storylines all somehow come back towards being his redemption arc in some way or form.....

For the made-up or exaggerated fanon crimes applied to him in fic, but that HE’S usually the actual recipient of in canon.

See, its not an obsession with canon that’s the reason for the disconnect between Dick Grayson fans and the takes favored by fans of most other characters.

Its the fact that the transformative energy of fanfiction, in his case, so often is utilized to give HIM reason to tackle the redemption arcs that OTHER characters owe HIM, but that so many of these fans don’t WANT to write their own faves being subjected to.....because they’re fans of these characters as heroes. They have no interest in reading or writing their favorite characters redeeming themselves for actions or behavior they personally don’t view as in character for them.

.....with the cognitive dissonant part in particular, being the way so many of these exact same fans turn around and express shock and bewilderment that Dick’s fans are simlarly uninterested in wanting to read nothing but their favorite character redeeming himself for actions or behavior we personally don’t view as in character for him....because it usually isn’t, according to the original stories BEFORE fanfic transforms him from victim of other beloved characters into victimizer of them instead.

And lol, many of us don’t actually want to see him as victim of other beloved heroes either! We’re in agreement there! Its why we come to fanfic instead of canon in the first place....to find stories where he’s not casually and regularly mistreated by other characters we like. But instead we usually only find stories that take everything people don’t want to see other characters doing to him, and making him do it to others. That’s not an improvement for us, lol! That’s just taking one problem and exchanging it for another. 

Flipping the script to make Dick the victimizer instead of other characters only fixes things if the only concern is making sure those characters aren’t seen as victimizers.

The really annoying part is how so many people can be so clear and cognizant of not wanting this for their own faves....yet are surprised, dismissive and disdainful of Dick’s fans....expressing the EXACT SAME FEELINGS.....about our own fave.

[shipmistress9]

D E F G H I J K L M N O P, Q R S T U V, W X Y and Z 😇😉. I sung the alphabet while writing this as well 😂. You don’t have to answer all of them though, just pick which ones you want 😊.

🤣🤣🤣

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

My fandom life would be easier if I liked Heathstrid at least a little bit... But I can’t and I don’t really want to, either...

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

The oneshots Spin The Bottle and Pick Me Up.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

Given that I only learned about the existence of fandom as a concept in late 2016, the longest I’ve ever been in a fandom is roughly 4,5 years.

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

Many! Currently it’s Hiccstrid and Hicretstrid. And maybe a little Zelink. But thinking back, I think my very first OTP was when I was around five years old. From the Captain Tsubasa anime series, Tsubasa and... I don’t even know her name... 🤣 There was this girl who always cheered him on and was his no.1 fan. ANd in hindsight, I think I also shipped Tsubasa... with nearly all other players, mainly, Taro Misaki, Jun Misugi, and Kojiro Hyuga. 🤣

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

TV-shows, mostly. I prefer the visuals over books and I prefer the slower development over those in movies.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

Not caused me to stop liking them. But in some cases (ATLA and TDP, to name two) it raised my expectations so high that, when I finally got to dip into them, I was rather underwhelmed. It also didn’t help that I already knew the ending and some major plot points. If there’s one sure way to dampen my excitement it’s spoilers.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

Supernatural. Pretty much all other fandoms I dip into occasionally, I knew at least a little before. But literally everything I know about Supernatural is from seeing posts here. 🤣

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

I can’t think of an individual character right now, but in general an arc I like is someone (re-)learning to trust.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

Snotlout has a great relationship with his dragon. Valka, too. Gobber and the twins are always fun, in their own ways.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Already answered before.

Hmm... First, I wanted to say Astrid. And I'd enjoy having her as a friend, as someone to challenges me to be more active, to work on my skills and someone to talk.

But I think, I'd enjoy being friends with Hiccup, too. I'd like to brainstorm ideas, ponder over inventions and exchange ideas. Geek out about dragons!

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

Acceptance, respect, and some common sense. But that’s not just fandom...

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

My very long list of favoured songs randomly gave me 9 Crimes by Damien Rice. There once was an absolutly stunning AMV with this song about the TV-show The Legend Of The Seeker, The Sword Of Truth (based on the books by Terry Goodkind). I was deeply in love with Richard’s and Kahlan’s relationship, and with Cara on a general level. That AMV featured them all, and I loved it!

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Oh, oh, oh, oh! I just thought about this modern meet-cute AU for Hiccstrid a few days back, might as well write it down here. (And will also copy it over into an individual post, I think...)

Hiccup is a single father of a three-years-old daughter. One day, he meets Astrid in a supermarket; she’s in front of him at the check-out and when he hears her voice, he’s stunned. Because he knows her voice, hears it every day. Because she lend her voice to one of these talking toys for toddlers.His daughter’s favourite toy.

Hiccup always liked that toy best, too, because it didn’t sound as annoying as most others. Pleasant even. When he sees and hears Astrid, he recognises her voice in an instant. He jokingly thanks her for making his days more bearable. She’s confused, who is this weirdo? So he tries to explain. “The toy. My daughter’s toy. It’s your voice. A pleasant voice. I listen to it every day.” He keeps getting weirder, stammers, turns red like a tomato, until he eventually just flees, wishing a hole would open up to swallow him, that was so embarrassing.

Meanwhile, Astrid is touched. Knowing that there is at least one little girl who likes the toy she helped create. And her father, apparently. Who had been cute. In how shy he’d been. And how excited. She’s sorry he left before she was able to talk to him and thank him.

Over the next days, Hiccup would think of her a lot. Every time he hears her voice again, he’d think of her. Her face. Her smile. Until they, eventually, meet again... ^^

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

Answered before

None, really. There are several fandoms I grew out of, like Sailor Moon or Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne. But I wouldn't say I abandoned them. I still enjoy seeing content about them.

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Those of the rider with their dragons. Hiccup&Toothless. Astrid&Stormfly.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Pretty much all of my headcanons are about Hiccstrid in one way or combination. One of my personal favourites is that Astrid has a tiny birthmark on the back of her neck. She doesn’t even know it’s there, she can’t see it and it’s almost always covered by her hair anyway. But Hiccup knows it’s there. And he loves to place a kiss on it. It tickles and would always make her giggle. And she smells so nice.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

*snorts* No. If there are people who don’t share my headcanons, then... they don’t have to? I can live and be friends with people regardless of whether we share the same headcanons or not. And if people keep attacking me for mine, I’ll just block them and walk away. Arguing about something like that is not worth my time.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Astrid. HTTYD.

erm...

uh...

I really have difficulties thinking of favourites from any other fandoms here! xD

uhm...

Princess Zelda from Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Kaladin Stormblessed from the Stormlight Archives.

I might have a type here. Brave, strong, not always easy to deal with. Fiercely loyal. Stubborn. Proud. Honourable. that’s all three of them. ^^

V - Which character do you relate to most?

Same answer as the above, mostly. I think I already wrote a long answer to a similar question once. 🤔 I relate to Astrid in many ways. Loyal and reliable, not always easy to approach, often prefers to deal with her problems on her own instead of asking for help.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Anything jealously, especially it being portrayed as a sign of love or dedication. But also love triangles. Unnecessary.

Another thing I don’t like is when there’s a misunderstanding and they argue about it and get angry and yell and have a huge falling-out... when it all just boils down to them not listening.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Answered before.

Forbidden Romance. In any form. I just love the angsty tension it brings without the characters fighting or arguing about misunderstandings.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Supernatural, ATLA, TDP, MCU.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

With all the critical thinking that’s encouraged in fandom culture, I wish more people would remember Ratatouille and this quote by Anton Ego.

“In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.”

-- Anton Ego (Ratatouille)

Or at least respect it. It’s called entertainment and not lecture about every little detail that is wrong with other people’s opinions. I get why it’s important to look deeper and question meanings and intentions, I really do. But sometimes, I’d prefer to at least occasionally just enjoy something without getting lectured by others for it.

_____

Thank you! 😘💜

[rex101111]

Dekubowl but with Inko.

(madness co-created with @imbeccablee this post is mostly just a conversation we had on tumblr a while back i wanted to share)

Creatively named Inkobowl. 

Okay so anyone still remember Dekubowl? That trend in the bnha fandom where all of Izuku’s classmates (+Shinsou and other students) had a huge crush on him and were competing for his hand?? Yeah that was great and funny bUT CONSIDER:

Inkobowl. 

I know it sounds better every time you read it doesn’t it? 

Allow me to elaborate;

Basically same concept as Dekubowl but instead it’s Inko attracting the attention of every pro-hero she meets+every teacher in Izuku’s school and he’s ready to die over it. For instance:

* izuku walks into his home, a greeting half on his tongue, and then he sees his homeroom teacher sharing tea with his mother. his mother turns and gives him an innocent wave and greeting, but Izuku's eyes are on aizawa, who looks like hes this close to dying on the spot. ".... yeah, I'm just gonna come back later."

*  izuku is out shopping with his mom, and she sends him off to grab something while she gets another thing. he comes back and there she is, midnight, half-kabe-donning his mom against the noodle aisle. izuku has half a mind to place the items on a random shelf and does a quick 180, speed walking for the dairy aisle.

*  all might approaches him after class one day with one hand hidden behind his back. 'oh god' izuku thinks as all might awkwardly greets him and makes small talk. 'please no'. eventually, after what feels like hours of pleasantries, Izuku just says "all might just give me the present." all might sputters and reddens, then hands Izuku a small wrapped box, asking him to please be gentle when giving it to his mother. Izuku's face is blank as he walks past his half bewildered, half laughing classmates and out the door.

*  Izuku listing on the radio while studying and hears Present Mic dedicate a love song to a "special little lady~" and he's only half listening so he's like "Aw that's sweet" until he recognizes the song as his mom's favorite and he throws the radio out the window

* Meeting Principal Nedzu at school and he’s like “Midoriya-kun! Good to see you!” and has an actual conversation with an adult for the first time in a long while and he’s feeling secure and happy and then Nedzu asks him what kind of tea he likes and Izuku tells him it’s green tea and Nedzu then asks “oh, so you like the same tea as your mother? how adorable!” and Nedzu goes to make him tea unaware or ignoring the soulless look in deku’s eyes.

* It’s bad enough at school but he can’t go anywhere with his mom now because since their neighborhood is lousy with F-tier villains heroes tend to patrol close to where his mom lives so she meets a lot of them and it is getting. Tiring. He saw Mt. Lady flirting shamelessly with his mom while still in giant form and holding a giant villain in a choke-hold when will it end.  

* Deku has admired Pro-heroes his entire life. All he’s ever wanted was to be a part of their world, to see them every day. I fucking hates monkey’s and any paws thereof.

*  Mitsuki, laughing: Oh your mom has always been a babe magnet! Seriously she had at least one person give her a love confession every day of high school! She's got it going on for decades kiddo. 

 Deku, dying inside: yes thank you I figured that much 

Mitsuki:...hell now that I think about it, didn't she and I date for like- 

Deku, dying faster: YES THANK YOU THAT'S ENOUGH

*  "midoriya why do all the teachers want to fuck your mom"  kaminari asks once "you know" izuku says and kaminari realizes hes made a Mistake. "we could have gone the rest of our lives without anyone outright saying those words with their actual mouths, did you think about that? did you even stop and consider what you were saying? do you regret it? bc I do. I regret hearing those actual words come out of your entire mouth and into my brain where they will remain for the rest of my life. I thought we were friends kaminari. why on earth would you do me, nay, US like that? why?"

*  deku: mom. I love you. really, I do. but please, PLEASE stop letting me see.... all this.

inko, sorting through love letters and gifts: izuku, I do not control my attractiveness. 

deku: MOM.

Basically yeah just that Inko getting the attention and love she deserves while Deku wishes for death.

[primrose-path-of-dalliance]

hi, i am stepping out of my little hidey-hole away from the fandom to talk about jester and artagan’s relationship development in episode 107.

a lot of this is a response. i’ve seen a few takes now about how suspicious it was that artagan emphasized the temporary nature of their relationship, and speculating that this is foreshadowing his eventual abandonment of jester. moreover, i’ve seen speculation on jester’s line, “you’re my best friend. no matter what, you always will be,” as similar foreshadowing of her leaving artagan.

honestly? i think these takes completely misunderstand the subtext of their conversation.

like, you guys. artagan was emphasizing how their relationship was temporary because he's immortal. he basically said so out loud. jester will inevitably die, very soon from his perspective, and she will go gods-know-where afterward and never see him again either (or at least not for a very long time). he tells her: “i’ve lived a very long time. i’ve made many friends and lost many friends. so i don’t expect things to always last.”

recall that this discussion of temporary things follows jester’s line of “you’re my best friend. no matter what, you always will be.” so before i get further into artagan’s train of thought here—why did jester say that?

well, because the one thing she was ultimately so distressed about re: her relationship with artagan was whether or not he cared about her for her.

we’ve seen jester often worry about the traveler’s love for her. as early as episode 31, she felt enough insecurity about his apparent absence during her kidnapping by the iron shepherds that she vandalized the temple to bahamut in zadash to try and regain what she thought was lost favor. when she opens up about her later concerns in episode 91 to caleb, how does she frame them? well, she’s worried that the traveler doesn’t like her anymore because she’s not doing some religious duty, when she never before saw herself as a priest to a god. she simply... had an amazing best friend.

after artagan revealed himself as the traveler, we see jester become preoccupied with the need to be unique—his high priestess, his first and most special follower. she’s matured tremendously over the campaign so far, but this regression to something childish and superficial was her instinctive outward expression of one concern: whether artagan loved her.

she eventually puts this worry of hers in words in episode 105. from the transcript (breaks and emphases mine):

(1:14:28)

LIAM: What if it were just you and him, like your old days?

LAURA: I don't think that's a bad thing. You know? He— He was really wonderful then. He was my best friend.

I know all of you are concerned that maybe he's taking advantage or he doesn't have our best interests. Which who knows, maybe he doesn't. But, he really... got me through a lot when I was younger, you know? And he was all I had, really, and... He was wonderful. He taught me so much.

If it just was him being my friend again, I'd be okay with that.

(1:18:25)

TRAVIS: Jester, we all want what's best for you, of course. Have you talked to him at all about going back to just the way things were when you were little, just he and you, as friends?

LAURA: I want to. I want to, I want to. It's just every time we talk he has to disappear so fast. Before, he used to be here all the time, you know?

jester has finally figured out what she wants from artagan, and why the situation has stressed her out so much. ultimately, she just wants her best friend back, but she's gotten mixed signals from him so far because of his choice to omit important details and the hectic situation preventing them from communicating.

so how does this tie into episode 107, “you’re my best friend. no matter what, you always will be,” and artagan’s comments on the temporary?

the conversation between the two of them in the end of episode 107 was, more than anything else, an unrushed and honest discussion about their relationship. because before any of this—travelercon, finding out that her god was not really a god, leaving nicodranas for the first time—they were best friends.

so jester talks informally to him. she talks to artagan like he’s an equal, tells him she’s proud of him. and he returns the favor. he compliments her. in fair fey fashion, he apologizes for his mistakes indirectly by subtly talking down on himself. he declines her praise of him and points out his flaws: the ‘mess’ he has made because he didn’t have her guidance, his innate selfishness, and his condescension of mortals and how he has hurt people however unintentionally (unsaid is how that included her).

it’s artagan’s apology that jester accepts when she tells him, “you’re my best friend. no matter what, you always will be.”

and he responses to that reassurance with a reminder of how temporary their relationship is, but not as a prelude to him leaving her, or to foreshadow an ‘inevitable’ breaking of their friendship. this transition in topic is artagan’s own laying-out of his perspective, needs, and boundaries the same way jester laid out hers with her forgiveness.

you’re my best friend and always will be, jester says—that’s all i ever wanted.

i appreciate that, i do, artagan replies—but you can’t promise ‘always’ here. someday soon you’ll die, and i'm effectively immortal. i've already lived for a very long time. even then, my take on friendship is inherently a bit alien and may not be what you want in the end. but (as he says aloud, emphasis mine) “with the time that i’ve had, i’ve learned to appreciate it—the temporary things. [...] when things are temporary, and you know it, and you understand it, you truly savor it.”

so one might call it a warning, in the sense that you might call any honest discussion of a relationship a warning. let’s remember that artagan is an archfey; words have many meanings, honesty is a bush to beat around, and promises are truly significant. to correct jester’s promise of 'always’ would be important to someone like an archfey. and a conversation that’s as emotionally vulnerable as one can get from a fey is an act of true sincerity on artagan’s part.

moreover, he does make a promise here to jester, however nonexplicit. he understands that their time together is short, whether they grow apart in jester’s lifetime or if they are best friends until her death. but rather than that reducing the significance of their relationship, artagan will deeply cherish this and the time he does have with her.

judging by how jester reacts with quiet understanding, she hears him. and it's okay with her, because it's clear that she's still his friend.

the fact that he's an immortal archfey is small beans, really. before, she was 100% okay with being best friends with a god.

finally, there’s this lovely thread on twitter by @/otdderamin (linked) composed mostly of an analysis of matt’s dming style—specifically, how he crafts characters’ plotlines based on the tastes of their players. to quote her:

And Laura loves stories about teaching deeply wounded & messy people that they are worthwhile & in so doing to recognize that worth in yourself. Matt has never hurt Laura with her backstory at all, & more than she set it down. He weaves it in, but the story only gets better.

If Laura wants sunshine and dick jokes and wild imagination and a refusal to give into darkness, then by good that's what Matt will give her. A good DM only hurts their friends with consent and teaches them the lessons they asked to learn.

[...] "Matt intends to hurt Laura to teach her a lesson about having hope" sounds exactly as ridiculous as "the Wachowskis sisters never intended The Matrix to be a trans allegory."

the idea that matt plans to inevitably hurt jester with artagan is, really? antithetical to why he dms this campaign for the cast in the first place.

put simply, artagan and jester’s conversation at the end of episode 107 was a positive resolution for the two that made me very happy. all signs point to their friendship not only continuing on, but strengthening now that travelercon has been figured out, artagan will have more time to dedicate to jester, and they’ve finally had an honest and reassuring conversation about what they want and what each see their relationship as. i’m very excited to see where matt and laura take these two in future episodes.

[yurireview]

the stupid arrogance of a small part of the Bumbleby fandom

hello dear followers of RWBY Do you remember the small incident of BB and WR? Many said "the anti are trying to make those 2 fandom fight"

But the reality is that there is a small part of the Bumbleby fandom that feels superior and believes that it can say any stupidity and since they are now "canon" they like to give their "arguments" and when you contradict them, they become the victims ... but I just saw a post and I think it's a great opportunity to address this issue that has been bothering me for 1 month

First, who the hell is she to say something like that?

It is rare that these fans keep saying that the Whiterose fandom wants to be compared to the Bumbleby and the "Try to blame us" so that we "force" them to match the WR.

I'm going to clarify something and I think I speak for all the fandom WR (We do not give a shit to be compared with the Bumbleby) in fact I'm very happy that we are separated because giving the same development to everything is stupid... for God's sake personalities of Ruby and Weiss that would be impossible they have their own little drama and it works well.

Do you really think they are one of the best lesbian romances of animation? by God that's so arrogant ... obviously I do not deny that the Bumbleby has some development is good, but...Do not you know that there are more than 50-60 lesbian couples  or ship yuri  that are better built, more time on screen and explicit in the animes, manga or Manhwas?

In fact I just saw the chapter 1 of an anime and really there was more lesbian  subtext than in 3 volumes of pure "Bumbleby" (this is not fanservice ... if you have heard of Carole and Tuesday is a very serious project)

Vol 1 Bumbleby vs WR

It is rare that I speak of the "great development" because again if we go back to Vol 1, was there Bumbleby?

The reality is that there was nothing and his fandom can not deny this reality, in fact until Weiss had more development with Blake and that is sad

They have the scene of chapter 3 ... where Yang makes Ruby talk to Blake (a scene of 1 minute that eventually turned into a friendly fight between sisters) it is rare that I read about how it was "undoubted" that Yang had in love with Blake ... but let's be honest (that's nothing from there)

chapter 6-7-8

The reason why I put these 3 chapters is because they literally had scenes of 30 seconds in each chapter ... I think the most relevant thing is that Blake chose Yang as his partner. But again this is "Indication of romance"? I mean, do you really blame a part of the fandom for "doubting" of that ship?

If we compare it with the Whiterose in the First Volume the comparison is ridiculous.

as I mentioned earlier in a review where some of these Bumbleby shipper complained that I pointed out something true (that the Bumbleby had almost no screen time in the first 3 volumes)

Again you can not compare (3 minutes, where Sun spent more time with Blake in only 3 chapters) with 22 minutes of Whiterose and 18 minutes of developing the initial Arkos friendship

All the development that the Whiterose received in the first volume (in addition to screen time ... I repeat it to Bumbleby worshipers) can not be compared.

In fact, even the meeting of Ruby and Weiss took a more special approach than that of Bumbleby, Ruby's expression is so evident in that detail

the conclusion of her initial problems as teammates and Ruby desire to want Weiss to accept her was a genius, again the BB did not have anything

even the development given to Ruby as a leader thanks to Weiss in his conflict over the issue of "Leader" was again more focused than the Bumbleby ... so again say that the BB was the "Best" since the beginning is ridiculous, because there really was no argument to support the ship but there is fun.

cof cof The Whiterose was the most popular ship of that time cof cof

they had their intimate moment in the Vol 2x6 before the Dance ... even though it is remarkable, they really left it very "Random" because again Who would have said something if all the night of dancing had been between Yang and Blake)

Before they say anything it is obvious that it was an important moment for Yang character

It's strange to talk about the Dance because really Blake and Yang only got 20 seconds of "Dance" and really there was nothing at all ... I mean she literally stayed with the end with Sun (I mean if they really wanted to focus the Bumbleby like them they mention ... why all that stupidity with Sun was necessary)

It's so foolish to mention that Ruby did not do anything with Weiss at the dance for 3 reasons:

The first one (She did not want to go, she did not know how to dance, she felt uncomfortable in the dress ... it literally was in the worst place) but if we go back to the scene of chapter 4 of that Volume (Ruby did not let Neptune and Weiss connect, because she wanted to go with Weiss ... besides that there if she felt comfortable) I mean it's character consistency

which Yang did not give a shit

The second: Unlike many characters, the dance did not have anything important for the character of Weiss and Ruby ... with Weiss it was only for Jaune to have character development so that he would approach Pyrrha ... with Ruby apart from what she said before, she had to follow Cinder and be out of the party

Did you see the foolishness of that anti WR argument?

It's strange how Weiss narrative instead of more "Straight" does not have any development with the boys, unlike Blake

even here they destroyed the ship of Weiss and Neptune (never to use it again) because they really only did it to develop Jaune as a character

Whiterose in this volume also received more screen time ... which is funny according to the arguments presented by these Bumbleby fans.

Again the Bumbleby was only focused on chapter 8 of Vol 3 (before that he did not get any screen time in that volume and even the Blakesun received a very good blush)

I do not dismiss the Bumbleby moments because of its importance ... but really there is very little time on the screen and that's why I say that the Bumbleby really started to develop from here but that's not why it's the "best romance" or the "Only path".

In fact there was still nothing romantic in the scene and do not come with the "destroy everything you love" because again all the fandom knows that the BB did not have anything romantic until then and that phrase works for everything.

that it has become romantic is one thing, but it could have been used in any context and it works (in fact I'm glad they took that route)

Chapter 12 Vol 3

It is rare that they also mention that "the Whiterose did not receive focus" in the fall of Beacon ... when the reality is that all the main dynamics were focused

Obviously the Arkos received the best ... because there was not going to be another time to do it (now or never) ... but the others received the same time (obviously from the moment where Adam cut Yang arm, you could say that just started the Bumbleby ... but before that they did not have material to be a ship destined to the "canon" because nobody really knew what they were going to do and their "development" is not the best because there is no time on the screen

The difference between the Blakesun and the Whiterose

It's so silly to say that they did not focus on the separation of Ruby and Weiss unlike the Bumbleby ... but it's odd that she did not mention that in Vol 4 (in Yang entire argumentative line she did not mention Blake, there was only one small scene to the interpretation where she sees the books and if you know deduce you can see that she misses Blake ... that's all)

What I find hypocritical here is that they really are the same scene (both miss someone) and again the scene is easy to interpret ... but here they only see "Bumbleby"

The Blakesun became a friendship for the simple fact that Blake had linked more to Yang because of what happened with Adam ... that's all that turned his old dynamic into a new ... it's called development)

Not to mention that the show was betting on the Bumbleby

The scene where really focus the fact that Yang misses Blake and that she "needs" is in the 5x8 ... where he spent the entire half of the chapter ... it served much to awaken the fandom.

Weiss narrative in that volume was divided between Yang and Ruby but leaning to Yang in the first half of that volume because she had to be the bridge so that Yang could understand and forgive Blake the moment she saw her (in addition to that to develop their friendship, because Yang-Weiss had very few interactions, that is evident before Vol 5) ...the funny thing is that again they do not focus on them in Vol 6 because it was not necessary anymore) so that argument is very bad

I must admit that I get quite angry that they say "there is no change in Ruby to see Weiss almost die"

which is a lie, in fact a rather detailed approach was given to Ruby concern for Weiss (in addition to the detail that she pulled Jaune's hands away from our beloved Weiss)

Speaking of Jaune (it is not ironic that the show and the Staff did not want to focus some of Weiss-Jaune dynamics that almost does not exist and did not take advantage of the best opportunity for that)

The end of Vol 5 is a clear example where Weiss did not dedicate 1 minute of his time to Jaune (or even to thank him)

I love the hypocrisy of that little part of the Bumbleby fandom when they say "hey look for a moment Bumbleby" but when they see another moment literally the same ... they like to deny it

This scene between Weiss and Ruby was one of the sweetest, in fact Weiss never dedicated this look to anyone else ... the experience of "almost dying" brought her closer to Ruby and only a stupid could not see it.

The Bumbleby received his moment as well ... but then they went back to the group dynamics, I mean, do they really bother with that?

Whiterose in the Vol 6

Returning to his argument that "there was no change" this is false from the start.

I love that the opening 6 showed Ren and Nora with Ruby and Weiss as the most “affectionate and supportive” dynamics

What is the only thing these Bumbleby fans saw? ... yes, this was

It's pretty hypocritical like those Bumbleby fans who claim that Ruby already "defined" her relationship with Weiss by calling her her "Best friend" in Vol 3 but they really ignore all the development of her emotions towards her in the next volumes and of course (Blake  also saw Yang as a friend at the beginning ... she did not fall in love with her from the beginning, in fact she liked Sun)

With Weiss the same applies ... in fact they ignore all of Weiss development with Ruby and his contrast with other characters, which other characters called his "family" relationships .. but let's move on to his next argument

They mention that "Yang and Blake tend to make it more personal"

This is partly true ... but it is evident because Yang and Blake had a traumatic event that involved both, not because their dynamic is full of "drama" means that the other is not worth it, I mean the drama is fine (but not everyone likes that kind of development)

In fact it's funny that she mentions Ruby phrase ... but she forgot to mention that that volume focused on the dynamics of Ruby and Weiss from the beginning...besides they brought Sun and Neptune (sinking both ship with the RWBY team girls)

They love to focus on how the Vol 6 focuses the Bumbleby up on its combat dynamics (when literally the Whiterose stands out much more)

They love to point out how Blake focused on Yang when they both disappeared... but when it comes to the Whiterose (they did the same thing) ... they say "Do not count" jajajajajajaja is ridiculous

Again the show instead of focus on group dynamics, focus both ship separately and intimately ... the scenes of Weiss and Ruby do not have the drama of Yang and Blake (but that's not why there is no development)

Besides that it's obvious how Yang does not highlight anything next to Ruby when it comes to Weiss

The happiness and the conford that Ruby gives to Weiss is unique in its dynamics, this volume focuses more, it is called "Development" when you live many experiences with someone (without needing to be, super dramatics...eventually the feelings change and they become closer)

Even in this scene the show focused primarily on Weiss and even mentioned it in RWBY (Review) which was a topical in the "ship" discussions in this volume ... so again its "Little approach" is ridiculous

Besides that it's obvious how Yang does not highlight anything next to Ruby when it comes to Weiss

There were so many moments in which the show could do the "group dynamics" that they mention so much ... but really the show ultimately focuses on Ruby and Weiss on how these small events make them closer, as Weiss emotions towards Ruby are unique.

Again Blake and Yang do not stand out in anything in their interactions

Even when the Bumbleby was focused on this volume (there were several episodes in which nothing happened) Is this bad? no ... but it is understandable, this happened with other relevant ship

With Ruby and Weiss it was the same, the ship received a lot of time on the screen, a more dynamic dynamic and had its breaks in the Volume ... then in the end having great moments

The scene where Ruby wanted Weiss to be by her side for emotional support and her presence comforting her is simply a genius

His dynamic excelled over the others (except for the BB who were fighting against Adam)

The worry and anger of Weiss by the risky of the actions of Ruby giving a funny moment and at the same time very intimate between both (does not count according to the Bumbleby) because there is no "drama" ajjajajajajjaaj

Even though the Bumbleby was the main focus of the final part of Vol 6 (the Whiterose stood out in a great way ... they gave them so many scenes together and very "shipping") that you would have to be a hypocrite and hater to deny it

The Bumbleby had its best moment and conclusion in this volume and that is very good.

it is obvious that the Bumbleby has to be the main development in this Volume (because not even the arc of Weiss has started that will be given in Vol 7 that obviously will be given together with Ruby) ... all those "arguments" are idiots and easy to deny)

As you could see the arguments to "disprove" the Whiterose are very ridiculous and really say that "They have no bad intention" even when they label it with "Anti WR" is really absurd... but then nobody can tell them anything because they change the story and blame the Whiterose.

Seriously, what the hell did the Whiterose fandom do to the BB on the Vol 6 that are bugging a lot?

which brings me to the last part of the text (which is the most absurd)

As I mentioned before, who the hell wants to "force" them to ship the Whiterose? I hate that stupid arrogance, we do not need them or anything like that ... our fandom from before is already one of the biggest and we never did anything to them, besides that the Whiterose has a different development and that makes it better (because I dont want to see BB 2.0).

Ruby is the protagonists

Another thing that I realized with these "critics" is that they do not understand that Ruby is the protagonist ... her development is different, everything with her has to happen later on.

For something, the dynamics of Ruby and Weiss develops more slowly, has more time on the screen and in the next volume began the Weiss arc that will literally involve Ruby in something much more dramatic, this is not "speculation" of Vol. 6 and the whole narrative is ready ... it's something that that small part of Bumbleby fans do not understand or do not want to understand

Because both Blake and Yang have less relevance than Ruby in the first volumes, they have less screen time in their dynamics before Vol 6 and their ship recently had a satisfactory conclusion in this volume (I do not deny the symbolism or the "parallelism") but I will not go through the negative side that many see in the BB.

This is understandable because they are not the main protagonist, they do not have the dynamics with more time on the screen is obvious...the character of Ruby covers more, there is no time just for ship and even so his dynamic with Weiss is the best developed of his character

The matter with the RWBY Manga

Something quite hypocritical is that really that small part of BB fandom gives relevance to all the moments of his favorite ship in these mangas ... but as you know, the Whiterose has even more moments in the manga and there they close their eyes saying "this it's nothing canon "

even in the new official RWBY manga (published in the Shonen Jump) that many in the fandom, even the Haters have praised for their good narrative, has as its main focus the Whiterose ... literally here is a person who has more knowledge of how to write a story and his favorite dynamic is the Whiterose where he makes it clear that he pairs them and his moments are not few, so again, why give more material to a ship ... that does not make sense? but to the Bumbleby that is the "canon" there is very little in that manga (but there is) because the author also understands that there is yuri

know that manga will follow the official history of the Vol but clear with details of the author and as we see (remains excellent) and RT gave his full permission, it is obvious because they do not give ship material between Weiss-Jaune-Jaune-Ruby or  other ship unimportant to the future

Conclusion

Since the recent Vol 6 ended and the Whiterose became much more "relevant" as ship because now you can get a consistent narrative of all the development of both girls ...some Bumbleby fans feel the need to "discredit" because .. .they are "the canon WLW" and it is very stupid.

Bumbleby fans do not complain about stupid couples like Sun-Weiss who has no fucking sense (not even the WR complain about that) (do not complain about Jaune-Weiss who does not have a minute of development in this volume)

They want to have a "unique" narrative in which Blake stays with Yang because this is something "revolutionary" ... but they want to match Weiss with a boy with whom she has no development in a pathetic cliche ("because she is straight" ) when actually until Blake had more Focus on that unlike Weiss... that there is literally 0 development with guys.

As of the end of this volume, they are beginning with their "inoffensive" arguments to try to discredit Whiterose.

-First they started with "pedophilia" (which is stupid) -Then they followed that a "vocal" part of the Whiterose fandom sexualizes Ruby (which is funny because Yang is the most profaned character in all RWBY and with more parodies and material in the Rule 34 hetero-lesbian) without mentioning that this argument is very silly because it's internet and a popular series will always have porn of all kinds (you have to live in a bubble if you think only lesbians like BB)

Then they say that "we force them to shippear" which I explain here is ridiculous (Also again ... you stop labeling your post with "Tag" from Renora, Arkos or other ship ... many times, but nobody tells you nothing, here the Whiterose does not do that almost never and when does it is to focus a point ... but apparently this Bumbleby fan are fucking elitists)

I think I said what I had to say and for every member of the Whiterose fandom that reads this (Do not let this little part of the Bumbleby fandom tell you that nonsense, then they are complaining "there are all hating BB because they are homophobic" ... now I understand why they hate them, they want to annoy another fandom that does not do anything to them ... although at the end of the day, they do not know a shit about what might happen in the series and their arguments are so unimportant that it has no relevance) .. But it's always good to bring out your nonsense

I like the ship Bumbleby I made several reviews in their favor (but that 5% of their fans have me getting tired with their hypocrisy and believe themselves superior when they come out with those pathetic arguments)

Having said this I say goodbye and until the next

[nicolemagolan]

Two Cities, One Galaxy: How Star Wars Connects And Divides Us

Early in 2019, I wrote a personal essay about Star Wars. It centered around SWCC (Star Wars Celebration Chicago) and my experience of watching the live stream in my living room at 4am, when the episode IX teaser and title was unveiled. 

It’s about fandom, the internet, and isolation. It’s about how Star Wars impacted my life, and about my relationship with my brother.

It also, eerily, foreshadows the disappointment I would eventually feel about The Rise of Skywalker. So here it is, under the cut. Please give it a read, and let me know your thoughts!

***

My phone blinks 3:30am, April 13th, 2019. In Chicago it’s 10:30am, yesterday. I should be asleep. I should stay present in Auckland, where no one else is awake except the moths gathering on the kitchen window.

My brother is slumped beside me, eyes closed, lost somewhere between sleep and boredom. We sit in the darkness of our living room, outlined by the grey glaze of the television. I’m wearing pyjama pants and yesterday’s T-shirt. An empty bag of chips is screwed up on the carpet, a half-drunk can of Lift Plus sits on the mantelpiece.

I stare at the TV. Waiting. My knee bobs up and down. I glance at my phone, and refresh Twitter. The tweets are coming in a blur: people yelling in caps lock, streaming without punctuation, some of it indecipherable, some of it from me. It’s happening kids / MERRY IXMAS, EVERYONE / I'm trying to remember it's called Star Wars Celebration not Star Wars oh my god I'm so stressed-ebration / I AM READY TO BE EPISODE IXed. The world around me is asleep, but the world under my thumb has never been more alive.

I take another sip of Lift Plus and feel its energy tingle through my bloodstream. Or maybe that sensation is the force.

When I was in class earlier in the day, wearing a Star Wars tee, writing in a Star Wars notebook and drinking from a Star Wars bottle, I was already stewing in anticipation. My mind was in another galaxy; speculation ran through me like shooting stars. My dedication to the Star Wars universe is fuelled not by the incessant marketing or the cheap merchandise, but by the passion I have for stories, space wizards, and the cute-yet-creepy alien bird race known as the Porgs.

 Star Wars Celebration Chicago is set to begin livestreaming on YouTube in just a few minutes. A countdown slowly ticks on screen. This will be the first big panel of Celebration, and the one I am most eager to see. The panel is for Star Wars: Episode IX, consisting of a Q&A session with cast members. Our first real, palpable look at the film, at beloved returning characters, and the new additions, to hear from returning Director J.J. Abrams what his vision for IX is.

But the real reason anyone is staying up all night to watch the livestream isn’t to see Abrams dodge spoilery questions. It’s to be amongst the first to witness the Episode IX trailer. The very first teaser trailer. Imagine a choir singing angelic sounds behind that one word and maybe you’ll begin to understand. What I really want is to catch a glimpse of the upcoming film, to learn the title—oh my goodness, the title—along with thousands of far, far away fans; some watching live in the dead of night or crack of dawn. The lucky few are crowded into the panel room itself. I swipe through pixelated and blurry selfies posted with #SWCC. It’s a big auditorium, packed with media, families, and cosplayers, and many are swinging lightsabers above the crowd’s heads. Purple, blue, green, and red beams of light. The stage itself is lit up with a bright blue backdrop.

 When I told my parents I was going to camp out in the living room to watch the livestream of Star Wars Celebration, they rolled their eyes. When I asked my brother if he wanted to join me, he cried, ‘Whyyy,’ before revealing his true colours when he showed up on the couch at 2am.

He was all too keen to eat my snacks, but now as time crawls forward, he seems to have come to the conclusion that it is ridiculous to stay up for something you can watch on your phone, from your bed, when you wake up. I have come to the conclusion that he is lying to himself. On the path to the dark side, perhaps.

He’s always joined me on my silly adventures, making fun of me along the way. But the fact that he’s willing to be there is enough, as he is now. Star Wars has been a part of his life as much as mine; we grew up roaring Chewbacca impressions and fighting with cardboard lightsabers; He’d be Darth Maul and I’d be Obi-Wan (so I got to chop him in half every time). Kids would tell me I was a weirdo for liking Star Wars, for playing with Barbies and Darth Vader figurines, blurring the lines between allocated girls’ or boys’ toys. But my brother and I knew: Star Wars is a fun space adventure for whoever wants to enjoy it.

We got older and the movies lost a touch of their magic: the internet revealed the intense hatred shovelled at the prequel trilogy. Little-me had loved the ridiculous Jar Jar Binks, but the middle-aged fans who grew up with the original trilogy saw him as an offence to their childhood obsession. (JUSTICE FOR JAR JAR is the hill I will die on.)

Then Disney bought Lucasfilm and ushered in a new era. I have a series of selfies from midnight premieres—me grinning from ear to ear, my brother with eyes closed and discontented frown (his go-to photo pose)—in the blurry light of the Imax screen on Queen Street. But one glance at his smiling face during the film and you know he loves this galaxy as much as the next fan.

Sometimes that’s the problem: our love for this story is so great and so ingrained, that it can bubble over into endless online debates. Debates become heated, become personal, become hateful. In this era of social media, everyone has a voice, but the ones who spit poison are the loudest. We struggle to find common ground sometimes. But it’s always there, beneath out feet and on our TV screens. We love Star Wars. We love to watch it, re-enact it, dissect it, wear it, read it, and write about it. Whether the common ground we stand on looks like the sands of Tatooine or the lake country of Naboo, it’s all the same galaxy. Even though the galaxy-shattering film The Last Jedi threatened to destroy us, we can find a way to stand together. Because when the fans unite, at movie premieres, or conventions, the fandom can become something worth celebrating.

Like today, right now, 3:59am in my living room.

I look up from my phone. The countdown reaches zero. I hold my breath. A soft echo of music trickles through the speakers, and John Williams’ familiar score wraps around me like a blanket. Goose bumps pop up on my skin.

The Star Wars logo vanishes and the screen cuts to black. I snap up and nudge my sleeping brother’s arm with my toe. He jolts awake, looks at the black screen and scowls.

‘Nothing’s hap—’

He’s cut off by a roaring applause as the blue-lit panel stage lights up the screen. The room around me fades. I’m in Auckland with my brain fuzzy, and I’m transported to Chicago with heart thumping.

My brother jumps up and stands in front of the screen. ‘I’m going to the bathroom.’

I babble, ‘butthepanelisabouttostart,’ craning my neck around his legs.

‘Oh well,’ he says. He walks off.

Stephen Colbert is pacing around the stage, babbling on about Dagobah and S-foils, trying to work the crowd up—unnecessary, since we are all waiting for the cast and crew.

I’m leaning forward, straining my eyes, and wondering if anyone actually finds his ‘jokes’ funny. Twitter tells me, yes, they do. The excitement level is high, making everything fresh and exciting, even if it’s a Star Wars pun heard years ago. I almost feel like I could twist my neck and hear people whispering behind me, instead of tweeting alongside me.

 The closest thing to this feeling in my own city is Armageddon Expo, the annual convention at the ASB Showgrounds in Greenlane. Nerds I’ve never met become my best friends. We jam the halls like squashed-up skittles. I don’t know their names but I know who they are. When I’m dressed in Rey’s dusty scavenger outfit, with staff in hand and hair bunched in three bobbles, young girls point and giggle. I wave at them, their eyes wide with wonder, and my heart is full.

The internet fandom space is a mix of tweet-before-thinking garbage and fun bite-sized meta. The real-world fandom spaces, such as Armageddon, are a big geeky party; no one hiding behind an anonymous wall, and no one left out.

This livestream is somewhere in between. I am connected online from where I sit in Auckland. Reading tweets and writing tweets and liking gifs. Yet I am in Chicago, oblivious to the sleeping city around me.

Stephen Colbert brings out Director J.J. Abrams and head of Lucasfilm Kathleen Kennedy, and the content we’re all waiting for finally begins. I take in every detail, every non-answer. I enjoy it. I loathe it. Stephen Colbert asks unanswerable questions, like the fate of Daisy Ridley’s character, or how the relationships develop. No word is uttered more than ‘spoilers’.

The cast members are introduced onto the stage; first is Anthony Daniels who plays C-3PO—one of the remaining few original cast members from 1977. He waves hello to the crowd before looking for the cameras. In his charming British accent, he says, ‘On tweets today people were, all over the world, saying “wish I could be here”. And I know we’re on camera, so I don’t know where the camera is, but whoever is in Australia or…’ He pauses for a flicker of a second, ‘…all the other countries around the planet; I wanna give you a big wave, and you are here in spirit. Okay?’

I grin a little wider. Of course he would mention our neighbour, Australia. So close, and yet so far.

 In New Zealand, despite the growing connections through social media, I feel isolated. Even in the vast Auckland city, where I easily get lost in the busy roads and busy people. New Zealand is separate. And that’s part of what makes it special.

But the isolation is also part of what makes being part the Star Wars fandom special.

It’s a larger world. Out there in space; out there in the world wide web. Legendary or anonymous, you can be a part of something. You can tell your story; you can make one up. After movie premieres, there is a sense of privilege and power in that none of my fellow fans in America have yet seen the movie. The Last Jedi came here a few days early, and I knew all the things before anyone else. We were isolated again. And it felt so good.

Did I go and post spoilers? No, because I’m not an asshole (you know who you are). But I told people they’re gonna love it. I told them the film is exciting and unexpected and dabbles deliciously in subtext in a way that’s fresh for Star Wars. I sign off with eagerness for the upcoming dissection and discussion of the film.

 The next day I’m shocked to learn that many many many people felt it was a ‘betrayal’ of Star Wars. A disaster of a movie. A cluttered mess of a story, an anti-climactic sequel that instead of building on what came before, tore the past to shreds. My brother is one of them.

And the fandom split in two.

But not today. Not tonight. I refuse, and so does everyone on my Twitter feed, because we’re tired of defending Rey, who is not a Mary Sue; and Vice Admiral Holdo, whose purple hair does not make her a lesser fighter; and Rose Tico, who fell victim to dude-bros saying she’s the worst character ever, she ruined their childhood, and Asians don’t belong in Star Wars; until eventually the actress, Kelly Marie Tran, deleted all her social media.

When Kelly walks onto the panel stage, she gets a standing ovation. There are tears in her eyes, and there are tears in mine.

 They introduce the new cast members, and display behind the scenes photos, and babble on about the brilliant practical effects. There’s a touching tribute to Carrie Fisher, an awkward bit about Adam Driver’s chest, and the introduction of new droid D-O. When the duck-inspired droid rolls onto the stage, you can hear cash registers ring.

My brother comes back in the room as the panel is winding up. He flops into the chair and sighs. ‘So, did I miss anything?’

‘You missed everything.’

‘So I didn’t miss anything then,’ he smirks.

Stephen Colbert asks J.J. Abrams if there’s anything he wants to leave with the fans. I lean forward. ‘This is it,’ I screech.

This is it. It boils down to this simple, repeated moment in time: the day, or night, or very-early-morning that a Star Wars trailer is about to debut. I am alone, and yet so very not alone, united in a nerdy passion that doesn’t call for such depth of devotion. But here we all are. Here I am. And here’s Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (omg).

 I switch off the TV. The darkness eats my eyeballs.

‘How am I supposed to sleep after that!?’ I yell. ‘Palpatine. Freaking Pal-pa-tine! NO! YES! Why?!’

Silence.

My brother is asleep.

I throw a pillow at him. ‘DUDE! Palpatine is back!’

He mumbles, ‘Haha, lame.’ His eyes don’t open.

I slide down the couch until I hit the hard floor. The Rise of Skywalker. Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. I sit there in the lonely living room, and let my thoughts trail off into the dark.

[proto-language]

Gentlemen Bastards and 1789 for the fandom thing?

Thank you so much!!

Gentleman Bastard Sequence

Favourite Male Character

Kinda generic but I have to say Locke Lamora, closely followed by the Sanza twins, who probably would’ve been my faves if they’d been allowed to live for more than half a book. Locke’s just such an interesting character: so smart and so stupid at the same time, a thief and occasionally a killer but also a pretty dedicated priest in his own way, able to talk his way out of just about any situation (and to hang on til Jean can save him when he can’t) but also awful at talking about his own feelings. As for Calo and Galdo; more than anything, they just made me laugh, but their care for Locke and Jean and Bug was so sweet, even when it manifested itself in the form of a threat to knock Locke out and drag him out of Camorr if they had to to get him out of danger.

Favourite Female Character

This one’s a little bit harder. I think I’d currently say Ezri Delmastro, but I’m also only halfway through Red Seas Under Red Skies (I’m like 99% sure things aren’t going to end well for her), and so haven’t actually met Sabetha yet. She’s so funny and scary and yet sweet, and frankly she and Jean deserve each other, and I can’t currently remember any specific thing she did because my memories of RSURS are weirdly foggy compared to TLOLL, but................ she. Also, I loved Nazca a lot, but again she didn’t really live long enough for me to get attached to her in the way I am to others.

Least Favourite Character

I mean, there are plenty of choices. The fucking Grey King/Capa Raza is one of them, obviously. Outside of obvious antagonists, frankly I’d have to say Sabetha right now. It’s not that I dislike anything about her or her character (or at least what I’ve heard of it), but just that it’s been a book and a half and we’ve heard Locke and Jean and the Sanzas and Locke again going on about her, and never had a single scene with her - I’m sure there’s probably a point to it, but I’m dense, and so it just annoys me.

Favourite Ship

Hmm, I guess I’d have to say Jean and Locke - I’m not actually particularly interested in shipping for this series? The fanart and fics for them are really cute though!

Favourite Friendship

Obviously just the whole dynamic of the Gentlemen Bastards - Jean, Locke, Calo and Galdo’s brotherhood, the way they work together and tease each other and ultimately would do anything for each other. The way they all mentor Bug, constantly take the piss out of him, but in the end he was becoming like a younger brother to them all too. The way that, in RSURS, Jean (eventually) knows exactly what to do to help Locke and get him to start living again. Yes, this is something I think about at least twice a day.

Favourite Quote

Oh man, there’s a lot. The whole liars and bastards ritual:“‘I only steal because my dear old family needs the money to live!’ [...]‘Liar!’ they chorused.‘I only steal because this wicked world won’t let me work an honest trade!’ Calo cried, hoisting his own glass.‘LIAR!’‘I only steal because I have to support my poor lazy twin brother, whose indolence broke our mother’s heart!’ Galdo elbowed Calo as he made this announcement.‘LIAR!’‘I only steal,’ said Jean, ‘because I’ve temporarily fallen in with bad company.’‘LIAR!’At last the ritual came to Bug; the boy raised his glass a bit shakily and yelled, ‘I only steal because it’s heaps of fucking fun!’‘BASTARD!’“

And its reprise before Locke has to pretend to be the Grey King, which is too long to reasonably put here. And, of course, “Nice bird, arsehole”, because Locke has never ever just kept his goddamn mouth shut.

Worst Character Death

Literally all of them!!!!!!!!!!! I’m fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m totally over it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In particular, Calo and Galdo and Bug, who I feel I can count as one, because it was one scene. Calo and Galdo because they were my favourites, and it was so damn unexpected - I genuinely thought it was some kind of joke or trick they’d played, until Bug was killed as well. Bug’s death was just so sad in every way: he was only a kid, he doubted his place among the Bastards, Locke was trying so so hard to reassure him and yet he couldn’t. Nazca gets an honourable mention, for both horrificness and shock factor

“This made me so happy you have no idea” moment

Again, the liars and bastards ritual, because it was one of the best moments of interaction between the five of them, and it was so funny and so heartwarming at the same time - pretty much the closest we got to “domestic” life, tied with some of the scenes from Locke’s childhood. Also, the very last few pages. Locke and Jean reflecting on their friendship, their losses, and how shit Locke’s real name is, whatever it may be (I’m still genuinely dying to know)

Saddest Moment

Tie between Calo/Galdo/Bug’s deaths, and the second-to-last-ish scene, after Locke’s killed the Grey King and Jean finds him, bleeding out, and Locke gets all “Jean you gotta leave me here to DIE I’ve MESSED UP I can’t GET UP so DON’T BOTHER” and Jean just picks him up and calls him an idiot.

Favourite Location

Is is valid to say all of Camorr? It’s just such an awesome setting, so vibrant and full of life and wonderful and horrible, and I only realised when I started reading RSURS that it feels like home, and I’m so sad we probably won’t get to go back there.

1789

Favourite Male Character

Mmm, I’m tempted to say Lazare - he’s just one of the most interesting, and easiest to speculate/imagine about, being neither a historical figure nor a main character. His relationship with Ronan is always interesting to think about too - it probably also helps that Nous Ne Sommes is highkey one of the best songs from the musical imo!

Favourite Female Character

Would it be bad if I genuinely said Charlotte? I love Olympe and I love Solène, but Charlotte’s just like... this random sassy child who interferes in Olympe and Ronan’s love life and apparently hangs out with Danton on the regular, and that’s just very iconic of her.

Least Favourite Character

I mean, I have a love-hate relationship with Ronan (like someone else we know. possibly a few people, to be honest. possibly everyone who knows him). Frankly, I see a lot of myself in his tendency to shout and get angry and accidentally mess up with his sister, but they’re also not sides of myself that I like. But I do admire his willingness to stand up and fight for something he believes in, which is something I lack despite all my anger, and I’m still pretty attached to him. I don’t know if he’s my least favourite, but he’s certainly most interesting to write about in that respect.

Favourite Ship

I’d say Lazare and Ronan, with Olympe and Solène a close second. Ronan and Lazare and Olympe and Solène are both couples with such different circumstances, and it makes it really interesting to think of the ways they would (or wouldn’t) work around and overcome that.

Favourite Friendship

Is it valid to say Danton and Charlotte, because that was honestly sweet. Otherwise, I feel Ronan and Olympe, despite being pretty bland romantically at best, would’ve made a really awesome friendship. Unfortunately, 1789: Les Amis de la Bastille, isn’t such a catchy title apparently

Favourite Quote

Not so much a quote, but the reading of the Declaration-Whose-Name-I-Can’t-Recall-Right-Now at the end generally makes me cry, as does “Je veux sourire à tes erreurs”, etc in Pour la peine, because I am Soft and Weak, despite Ronan and Olympe being such an uninspiring couple

Worst Character Death

Ronan/Olympe, I suppose? Did anyone else die?? No death actually affected me too much emotionally

“This made me so happy you have no idea” moment

Ronan and Lazare/Louis and Matthieu’s hug during Pour la peine, and generally all of Au palais royal

Saddest Moment

I’ve surprised myself, actually, by initially thinking of Je vous rends mon âme -  that’s my initial reaction, but I’m not actually sure what my saddest moment would be. As much as I love it, 1789 has never really emotionally killed me quite the same way MOR does?

Favourite Location

The staging of the storming of the Bastille is super cool, let’s be honest.

[margridarnauds]

I actually don't know *exactly* what you ship but 1 - 5 and 9 - 13 for whatever your 1789 ship is since I haven't seen it yet and don't know much about it, I jsut like soft HCs

HARD SAME on That Soft Shit

So, Royal Officer Who is Also a Part Time Parrot/Peasant Whose Father He Tried To Arrest For Tax Evasion (and who was killed in the attempt WOOPS)

As a word of warning: Canon has been bent forward, backward, and sideways to support this one, since at least 98% of the 1789 fandom is dedicated to nothing if not figuring out new and inventive ways of twisting canon to our own diabolical ends. 

1. Who makes the first move and how?

Ronan. Always Ronan. Probably via tackling. Like, it’s 100% canon to the Takarazuka that this is how he kisses: 

There is no helping this boy. He might think that he’s being smooth and suave, but no. There is NOTHING smooth or suave about this disaster. The good news is that there’s nothing ELSE that could get Lazare to take the inevitable hint. Things Lazare de Peyrol is good at: Strategy, shooting things, giving the 18th century equivalent equivalent of powerpoint presentations on how to shoot unarmed civilians, stomping in place. 

Things Lazare de Peyrol is NOT good at: Actually thinking that the peasant boy he’s been awkwardly trying to flirt with is interested in him sans a 20 page paper with citations. 

“The fuck is this? The fuck are you?” (Also: I REALLY need to remake this gif one day but until then, enjoy it in all its low-quality splendor.)

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

Both of them have their reasons to be insecure. I think that both of them, on some level, always think that the other will choose their side over them. On one hand, Lazare feels really, really insecure that Ronan will eventually choose the other revolutionaries, especially since they all have more in common and Ronan spends more time with them. And, on some level, I think that Lazare is fully aware of what he did to Ronan’s father, what he’s continuing to do with the Revolution, and so there’s this kind of BAFFLEMENT that Ronan loves him. And, meanwhile...there’s not a LOT that’s mentioned about Lazare’s upbringing in-canon, of all of the main cast, he tends to get very little in the way of what we KNOW about him, a lot of the speculation that I do is pure projection/speculation. I do think, however, that there’s enough evidence, at least in the French version, to indicate that Laz was pushed into the army from a young age by his family. Again, not CANON canon, but there are a few lyrics that could indicate it, and there were a LOT of aristocratic officers at this time (Off the top of my head, I can bring up Lafayette and the Marquis de Sade), who got into it when they were about 14. So, Lazare’s never really HAD the stability of a home/family life, and I think there’s this constant dread that it will be pulled out from under him. 

 Meanwhile, it has to sink into Ronan’s mind at some point that Lazare, unlike him, actually CARES about what society thinks. Lazare isn’t interested in creating a brand new, shiny world, he wants to succeed in the old one. And that means keeping things behind closed doors, marrying someone with a comparable pedigree, doing what’s expected.

As far as what makes them feel better...Ronan’s continued presence is a biggie for Lazare. Like, there’s that worry that one day, Lazare will come back to an empty room because Ronan’s changed his mind, but nope, there’s his boyfriend, sprawled out on their bed, and as soon as he gets in, Ronan’s right there, pulling him closer. And also, even though Lazare gets IRRITATED with Ronan’s “Brave New World” speech from time to time, given that Ronan seems blissfully oblivious to what is going to HAPPEN with that Brave New World (namely, the extinction of everything that Lazare’s known), there’s SOMETHING about the fact that Ronan always mentions that BOTH of them will be there. Ronan started the Revolution for the purpose of revenge against him, but he’s going to end it so that he can create a world where they’ll be together. And despite everything else, that’s oddly soothing, to the extent that sometimes (just sometimes), Lazare likes to imagine what that new world could be like. 

Meanwhile, I think that Ronan sometimes is completely taken aback when Laz DOES go that extra mile and shows affection. Like, they’ll be having dinner together and he’ll catch Laz doing a half-smile at something he’s just said, or Laz will take his hand and press a kiss to it, and it’s suddenly like “Oh. Oh. He really does. Like me, doesn’t he?” And it’s moments like those where he realizes that Lazare really IS committed to this one, he just has a different way of showing it. 

3. Who is the most romantic?

Popular belief would say Ronan, because he’s the one who’s most outwardly expressive. He’s the one who tends to initiate cuddling, he’s the one most likely to regularly say “I love you,” etc. BUT! Lazare is the one most likely to remember some minor detail that Ronan mentioned once just so he could surprise him with a present, he’s the one who tends to do more quiet, intimate gestures (hand kissing, forehead kisses, etc.) and he’s the one who tends to look at Ronan like he hung the stars when he thinks Ronan’s not looking. And it’s more dramatic coming from Lazare because he ISN’T a natural romantic, he tends to think this kind of thing through. 

I just realized there’s a very distressing lack of French 1789 gifs on my computer and that needs to be amended soon, but THIS? Is how Laz tends to look at Ronan in the Takarazuka. (Ignoring the caption since I added it. Even if it’s accurate.)

Keeping in mind that THIS tends to be his default expression: 

“Hello, my name is Lazare and I’m dead inside. I have three emotions, one of which is ‘homicide,’ another of which is called ‘Ronan Mazurier,’ and another of which is called ‘I haven’t had enough morning coffee for this.’” 

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Ronan. He’s always trying to figure out ways to touch or cuddle with Lazare. If he could, he would totally sit on Laz’s lap all the time in lieu of a semi-decent seat. He tends to “accidentally” manage to get his hands underneath Lazare’s shirt when they’re cuddling or just...tugs him closer. It’s not like Ronan’s ever really been in a situation where privacy was the NORM, since he’s a peasant. You have to figure that all his life, he’s slept at least three to a bed.

Lazare will never admit how much he actually loves it, because he’s been so touch starved all his life that he NEEDS that. 

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

With Ronan “most embarrassing” is a very interesting term, since he’s.....Ronan. He’s the EMBODIMENT of “disaster, chaotic gay/bi.” There’s “That time that the illegal press that he was helping run was raided by the police, causing Ronan to go through the sewers. Shortly thereafter, he *mysteriously* gets a new coat.” There’s “That Time Ronan Initiated a Dance Off In Front of Laz’s Boss, Who Happens to be the King of France.” There’s the first time they met, where Ronan more or less called Laz a bitch to his face and got into a fist fight with him. And then, there’s That One Time Ronan got called out by the Queen’s favorite governess and shipped off to the Bastille. Bonus for the Takarazuka and Toho productions, where he’s ALSO hella drunk/hungover at the time. Modern AU Ronan would get hurt after slipping on the floor while dancing to Baby Shark (dododododo). There’s just...never a dull moment. 

Meanwhile, it’s a longstanding headcanon of mine that Lazare tends to pace back and forth. This is not in and of itself embarrassing, I say as a chronic pacer. What IS is when his boyfriend catches him mid-pace, making gestures and facial expressions to go along with an imaginary conversation in order to prepare for an audience that he’s not had yet. 

10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

Ronan: Baby Shark (Dodododododo) (No, I’m never NOT going to be on my bullshit with this one) (Lazare regrets allowing him it, but there’s very little that Lazare can ultimately deny him), he can’t read in-canon but in a modern AU I GUESS something that’s

Lazare: Two Steps From Hell - Nero 

(Historically, if it was at all possible, it would be a duel between Richard mon Roi and Ah, Ça Ira)

Neither one of them’s a big reader, but I can see Lazare taking along, like, a copy of the military regulations. And maybe a copy of Pamela if he’s worried he might suffer from insomnia. And honestly, in a modern AU, I can see Ronan taking, like, a pulpy gay romance novel about an innocent peasant being seduced by a wicked count. He does dramatic readings of the steamiest bits. Lazare rolls his eyes and turns over in their shared hammock. 

Luxury items: Lazare NEEDS his work computer. He doesn’t even need wifi, even though it’s obviously IMPORTANT; he just needs to be able to do his work. There are times Ronan thinks Laz would MARRY his work computer if he could. Also he and Ronan can BOTH agree that water filtration is essential. They are NOT going to die of something easily preventable.  

11. What do they hide from one another?

Lazare suffers from traumatic nightmares, and it’s something that he REALLY does not like to talk about, at all, mainly because he considers them to be humiliating. (Just like he really doesn’t like to talk about what CAUSED aforementioned nightmares.) Ronan eventually is able to coax him to talk about it and can usually get him to go back to sleep. 

Ronan has been known to tone down just how bad he’s hurt, either intentionally or unintentionally (”I’M ALRIGHT. Oh fuck, I’m not alright. Fuck.”) He tends to call Lazare out on “mother-henning” him when he thinks that Ronan has so much as a scratch on him. (Which is ironic given that we KNOW that if Ronan ever found out that Lazare got hurt, he would make over him just as much if not more.)12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

Suddenly the stakes become REAL. Like, the Revolution VS the Monarchy conflict really starts to come into play, as they both start to kind of realize that one of them might not survive this. Suddenly, Ronan’s little tendency to get himself into trouble is something that causes a HUGE amount of anxiety for Lazare, because suddenly Lazare realizes that if Ronan doesn’t come back, he won’t be nearly as fine with that as he’d been pretending. Because Lazare’s life rests on stability, and somehow, without him realizing, Ronan had become that source of stability. And suddenly, Lazare’s devotion to the Royal Family becomes even more frustrating for Ronan, as he has to think that every time there’s violence in the street, “That could be Lazare.” He started with the Revolution in order to get revenge on Lazare for he did to his father (”Hello, my name is Ronan Mazurier. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”) but then when the situation FINALLY turns around so that Lazare could actually go down, there’s this sudden “OH SHIT.”

13. When do they realise they should get together?

I mean, in the French version of Maniaque, there’s a Very, Very Interesting place where Lazare goes from using the “vous” form of you on Ronan, indicating a high degree of formality and separation that’s almost TOO polite given their social statuses and that then switches over to a “tu” form. Shortly after male dancers dance homoerotically on stage. Because it’s a French musical. So, in terms of the canon material...........I would say that’s a very good indicator. I kind of like the idea of Maniaque as a back and forth between the two of them, with both of them kind of getting under each other’s skin with their responses. It’s fairly common to read it as Lazare-As-Interrogator, Ronan-As-Plucky-Revolutionary reading, and that’s probably what the writers INTENDED, but...it’s so much more fun imagining them both coming in with this high level of tension and mutual hatred and ending it on a much more uncertain territory. 

Personally, since we’re dealing with HEADCANONS though, I actually tend to put them actually realizing that there’s SOMETHING when Ronan arrives at the printing shop and no one even ASKS about where he’s been for the last month and then he has that argument with the Revolutionary Bros. Like, as a warning, this is totally outside the realm of any canon evidence, but I tend to see Lazare as very, very stressed when Ronan escapes and in my own AUs he totally helps him escape because it’s the only reasonable explanation for where the FUCK Ronan’s been staying all this time, and Ronan is at this point where his faith in the Revolution’s at an all-time low, and he realizes that Lazare is the only one who really...CARED about whether something happened to him. 

[luciddreamer326]

Update on writing: I’ve got seven (yes, seven!) mapped out and in progress concepts so far. Thought I’d update everyone on the statuses of each:

1) Working title: Coming Out for @lilbexi- the title is shite and won’t stick but your prompt is probably 90% written and should go up by the weekend. I’m taking a gamble with it and playing with style and POV, so it’s got some heat and laughter and everything I would want out of a decent Grace/Frankie narrative.

Preview line: Only it isn’t that easy, the weightiness of it a burden to carry. It’s soul consuming and aches to hold on to. Now? I understand Robert. I understand Sol. I am regretful where they are concerned, but thankful too. They both ransacked our lives and flung Frankie and I together. That makes it worth everything. That makes it harder to share with the world.

2) Working title: Rip Out My Heart-Another shite title that won’t stick, this one is about the spoiler photos and my wanting to play with a storyline I feel we will be looking at to end next season. I wanted to make it mine before they tear it all apart.

Preview line: When Grace leans over late into the night, and rests her head against Frankie’s shoulder, she fights not to weep openly. She finds Grace’s hand under the table and wills it not to shake in pain. She wishes she could be happy, but it’s hard when half of her heart is sitting in another chest.

3) No title prompt fic for @negativeoedipus: I’m still blank on a title but I’d say this is 75% written. The premise is that the ladies go on a retreat only to find out it wasn’t what they expected. Confusion and hilarity ensue, with the events of their trip changing them both. Sorry it’s taken so long to write but the little mini ficlet I intended to write kept unraveling and now sits at 14k word count and 35 pages. 

Preview lines: I want to do something,” she spits out one night over a Pinot Grigio and a piece baked chicken, vision blurring a little at the mundaneness of it all. Frankie looks up from her own meal and squints, confused. “You mean, like a Say Yes night?” Grace can already feel her head start moving, shaking it. “By my standards four years ago, our Say Yes night was fairly bizarre. I’d never danced on a bar before.” She can’t but smile at the memory of it all, but that is soon erased by other thoughts bombarding. “No, I want something crazy, out there. I want to grab life and make the most of it.”

4) Navigating Limbo: the idea isn’t originally mine and I owe that to another in this wonderful fandom. I took the concept and ran with it though. It’s set post season 4 and picks up right where the series left off. I’m leaving the specific parameters for this one out (for now) since they’re pretty risqué. I’ve managed to bang out 6k on this one so far and am very dedicated to its finish, but it’s just not at the top of my list. 

Preview lines: “So, you’re the alcoholic drug addict my sister has been living with the last four years that I’ve heard so much about,” Teddie snottily says, grasping Grace’s hand. Yeah, Frankie can totally understand Grace’s protestations at this option. She watches as shock flits across her face and then is masked by the oh-so-perfect facade that Grace always goes to in social situations where she is on the defense.

5) The Agreement: I’ve got two chapters left and mostly written. While the whole piece has been rather…wild, I want to end on a more toned down/heartfelt note. The preview is from chapter 9 and I’ll probably have it uploaded sometime next week. Preview lines:

Grace’s insecurities start to run rampant and she finds it harder to breathe, like her lungs are collapsing on her. She’s never really sat and pondered how important all of this has become to her and suddenly, the prospect of losing it seems life altering in the worst kind of way. Worse than losing Robert. Worse than losing the house. Worse than anything she can possibly imagine. Frankie must sense her uneasiness because she stops their walk along the beach and turns to face Grace squarely. She makes a move for both of Grace’s hands and all Grace can think is this is it. Tears start to form and she wants to run away, to not be here for this even though it’s directly involving her.

6) Working title: Elements- I usually name my writing before I really flesh it out, which could be a bad thing but I don’t know. It seems to give it a life I otherwise might not assign it were I to brainstorm, write, then name. Doing that aspect first helps it become a priority to me. Anyway, it’s going to be a short piece, hopefully between the 1k-3k mark. It’s based on the elements (obviously) and will focus on that particular substance within the context of the show. 

Really rough preview: With the changing of seasons, if one could say Southern California weather deviates much, comes the flames. Things scorch and burn and they watch as it unfolds on the screen. El Cajon smolders and if they walk out and gaze to the east, they can smell the soot mixing with the salty sea air.

7) Tumblr dialogue prompts fic: I saved a post and picked out some of the lines I felt I could create a story with. It’s another take on how a relationship could develop through uncertainty and loss. I tend to go back to that theme a lot because while I about die when I read fic with any angst, it really does create a poignant tale most of the time. That being said, there are so many variations of it to play with, so I try. Preview lines:

The summer starts and she’s still waking up, staring out across the small man-made river that has a row of condo-like living spaces that mirror their own on the other side. Her sleep is restless, a mixture of nothingness and a reel that constantly repeats various versions of looking at the sign by the beach house that reads “sold.”

In addition, I’ve got some choppy sentences I really like but haven’t formed into bulk yet that I’d like to eventually see go somewhere. I find that when I’m working on one concept, something else might come to me that doesn’t fit within the confines of what I’m working on that second, but might find a home elsewhere. Hence the 7 WIP’s. I also have what I’m calling a B-side scene I wrote for The Agreement, and I had to cut it for flow reasons. It will probably get shared as an additional “collection” piece some day. I don’t know. We will see. If you’ve read this far, bless. I am so grateful to each of you who have read, commented, and taken to the time to give me a little love. You make it worthwhile and I love writing for this fandom. 

[shirotanis]

ok so i was looking forward to doing this and i’m glad it is done eventually ! to make long words short, i recently hit a great follower goal and the number keeps increasing and i’m ??? bc its weird but i’m thankful to everyone following me nonetheless💕💕💕 i’ve had this blog for a month and something but i’ve met a lot of wonderful people whom i grew to love and care for!!!!! some i havent interacted as much as others but i hope to get to know you all in the near future 💖💖💖  

if your url is bold go take a look at the very end where it says ‘read more’ bc there’s a few words for you 💖💕💞💓💖💓💞💓

also i’m pretty sure i have more mutuals but they are sideblogs and idk whats their main to check if they follow me or not but pls know that i didnt forget or that i didnt want to include you!!!!

#: 

@4fnc // @4zammy 

a-g:

@cryogonal-jonghyun // @daypjh // @dojooned // @dojooon // @dowoonhtml // @from-roses-to-dojoon // 

h-j:

@howcaniwait // @ijustcantlie // @iwooseong // @jaeheyong //

k-r:

@lipstick-chathao // @mirinae-x // @rxsewoosung

s-z:

@saekkisongarak // @sangdoldol // @savageday6 // @shelovesjinyoung // @smolpil // @softwoonie // @tasteless-ratatouille // @tennisanon // @thedarksideofthewoon // @thedaysix // @ttherose // @theroseofficial // @wattela // @wonpixel // @woosung-is-my-aesthetic // @woosungs-blackrose // @woosammv // @younghyuuns // @youngks-smile 

@4fnc: oK GIA MY LOVE!!!!! i have sO much to say about you my best absolute perfect !!!! ok first of all we’ve been friends for like, 3 years??? this is the longest friendship i’ve had and it started out so weird like? i was a bts blog and you were an exo blog aND THEN I BECAME AN EXO BLOG AND YOU BECAME A BTS BLOG but over the years, we grew to stan other groups, i parkoured more than you and i admit ;;;;;;  ok but i still remember your most legendary post “my mom bought me cock heck yea - wAIT NO I MEANT COKE NOT COCK WHY WOULD MY MOM BUY ME COCK” and i’ll never let it die. you are such a beautiful person inside out i would have never thought i deserve you but !!! we’ve been together for so long and i hope we meet someday bc honestly? i wanna h*g you so much its a lil gross but,,, you mean so much to me honestly ok i’ll stop now i didnt even say everything i wanted to but i’ll keep that for another time ;)) i love our late night conversations about ??? whatever from memes to long appreciation hours about our faves to personal stuff its just so exhilarating to talk to you ily always gia 💞💞💞💞

@daypjh: oh oh oh my heart is turning into a puddle of joeliness rn thats how soft i am for you :(((((( honestly we have been talking for a few days but i feel like we’ve been friends for years??? when we started talking i was taken aback bc 1) shIT jo noticed me ok gotta act cool 2) it was So comfortable and So smooth and i had so much fun my fist conversations with people tend to be a little awkward and i’m always anxious but with you ??? i was so chill for some reason!!!! also you are the purest jae stan? the softest of them all and i know how much he means to you but you are a lil ho for the rest of day6 too i’m laughing you go all out with your trashiness;; i would have never thought i’d find someone with whom i share so many interests but here we are!! i’m so happy we started talking because i realised i was missing out on some gr8 stuff 👌👌 you are so funny our conversations never fail to make me smile whenever i feel down…i still wanna get to know you more tho but on another note i hope you stay happy !!!!! you deserve everything good i love you pls remember💓💞💓  

@howcaniwait: my fave charcoal 💞 i know we havent interacted that much but i consider you a friend, more than a mutual. you are so cute and funny too also youre so talented when it come to photography like ?? pure goals not even exaggerating!!! you love bri and sammy so much it makes my heart jump a lil :’’’) you also helped me with that friend issue when you didnt have to and i’m still thankful bc it helped me~ btw the way you interact with every single follower of yours is such goals yall like family asdjgldhs cute ;-; lets get to know each other more soon💖💖💖  

also a meme that is a very relative

@ijustcantlie: alice!!!!!!!! one of my fave blackroses 💓💓 i don’t have a lot to say about you bc i don’t know you well yet bUt i want to!!!! anyways your edits are so great they always leave me speechless i wish i had them skills tbh :

@rxsewoosung: hello dora 💕💕💕 in actuallity, he have exchanged a few asks only and thats about it but (though i wish we talk more one day)!!! you are so cute tbh i havent seen you around in a while but that’s bc the rose is kind of dead atm but as i was stalking your blog i realised how adorable you are!!!!you love the boys dearly and i cannot express how happy that makes me also you say i’m your fave woosung stan and that my blog contains a+++ content but same goes for you ;) woosung would be so happy to know such a nice person likes him so much plus your gifs are most pretty in my opinion i aspire to be like you💕 

@thedaysix: MY FAVE DAY6 BLOG HANDS DOWN!!!! bethany ily so much not to be that person but i would have never thought YOU out of ALL day6 blogs would follow me i probably cried a lil on the inside when i saw you had followed me and liked some of my stuff as well askflghlsd ok so basically i have said it before i think but i love and appreciate you so much ik i’m repeating myself lol but you are one of the funniest ppl i follow and your tags are the cutest shit they make me xtra soft 😭😭😭 btw callie is the cutest cat i wish i could cuddle the floof sighs 💓💓

@ttherose: The Blackrose Mom aka Olivia 💞💞💞 I can’t express my appreciation enough tbh ??? without you i doubt we’d exist on tumblr and i’m not even joking!!! i used to be intimidated by you because you are the mvp of the fandom but talking to you in the group chat i???wow you are so interesting and hilarious plus i love how you ALWAYS do your best to update us with everything the rose related and make memes at the same time i’m laughing thats the definition of dedication so i wanna say a big thank you for your hard work bc other fandoms lack what we have (a mom; i mean you) 💞

@woosung-is-my-aesthetic: OH HI FAKE SNAKE JANA oops i mean uuugggh lettuce :))) tbh i thought you were one of those chill stans when i followed you but karma is a bitch i guess bc you are pretty wildt and i like em wildt ;)))) oK I THINK you are one of the most precious ppl i wanna protect with all my heart :(( i love every single meme you send and everything you say is hilarious in one way or another also ??? you are a little trashy prince for shinee and you know i love that about you plus i appreciate the mysme dose on my dash thanks to you my trashy ass wants to download the game for the 4th time :/ one thing i love about you is the mom mode you always like “whO DO I NEED TO FIGHT WHO HURT YOU MY CHILDREN” and that makes my heart blast into outer space and make a colony on mars askflghslahs i’m 2 soft 4 you always thanks for all the help i appreciate it, really!!! and no matter what you do or say i’ll never consider you ‘dark’ you are a lil kitty in need of affection uwu 💖💖 and i’ll only eat pineapple pizza for you but i know i’ll regret it :

@woosammv: 🗣️🗣️🗣️ THE CUTEST BROSE 🗣️🗣️🗣️ julia…you is that one person who is above the rest… like all the other normies are trash for the rose but you are the landfill and that makes you special aslgjhhlshaldhs ok but honestly you are such a great person, always making flawless gifs and keeping the fandom well fed sadly i dont have a lot to say bc we havent really talked but i hope we do soon but just so you know, ily and your blog  💕💕💕

[yellowfeather84]

Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe know they've got something special: From the complicated, passionate characters Jamie Fraser and Claire Randall they get to play on-screen, to the close friendship they've developed off-screen, Outlander has changed their lives. And they're not alone: Since the Starz hit premiered in 2014, fans have been rabid for all things Outlander—Heughligans debate the merits of Sam's man bun, shippers argue they're a couple in real life, and dedicated social media accounts document every last detail of Jamie and Claire's saga.

So when Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe decided to visit the ELLE.com offices, I knew I needed the help of someone whose fandom went beyond my own appreciation for the show to an expert-bordering-on-obsessive level—the kind of person who would know Claire should be referred to as "Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser," not "Claire Randall," in the above paragraph, and be mad about the mistake. I needed a super fan, and lucky for me, I happen to be related to one of the biggest out there: Pat Holmes, my mother.

Here, an Outlander super fan (and her daughter) talk to the show's stars about their friendship, Jamie and Claire's evolutions, and how love can survive a 20-year separation.

Warning: This post contains mild spoilers for season three of Outlander.

I just watched the first episode of this season—it's amazing, very emotional.

Sam: It's very sad, actually.

Caitriona: It is very sad. All of the Culloden stuff is just so brilliant.

For the first time, you weren’t in the episodes together. So what it was like when you saw it, for you, Sam, to watch Caitriona—and Caitriona, to watch how Sam did?

C: It was great, because I think we both purposely didn’t read those parts of the script. It’s nice to be able to remove yourself from it, because normally you’re in it so much, and it’s hard to be objective and look at something from the perspective of a viewer. There was a lot of surprise, because I didn’t realize that they would shoot it that way—it's so much darker, and Sam's performance was so amazing. I loved it, and it was really heartbreaking. The way they edited it, going back and forth and bringing it to where Jamie doesn’t really know what’s happening, he doesn’t know whether he’s alive or dead, and interspersing that with moments that happened before and after, I thought was really beautiful.

S: I only recently saw it and it was just remarkable. I think that Caitriona and Tobias [Menzies] are amazing together, and it's just so grown up and sad. They’re doing everything for their daughter and trying to work through it, but there’s heartache there. It was a great script and Ron [D. Moore] did wonderful with the writing. It’s really the beginning—we say goodbye to Scotland and a lot of the characters there.

You’re talking about the 20 years your characters spend apart, and they change a lot. What did those 20 years do to them?

C: One of the huge things I played with Claire is that she shelved a side of herself for 20 years. The way we worked it out with the writers is that initially Claire tries to have a relationship with Frank, but after a year and a half, they make an arrangement and they live separate lives within the same house. Claire has always been a very sexual person, a very passionate person, and losing the person that means the most to you is one thing, but losing a part of her DNA or a part of who makes her who she is had a real effect on how she carries herself and interacts with people. She became focused on her career and daughter but there’s a rigidity to her, and I think she’s lost some of that freedom and joy she has when she's around Jamie.

What happens to Jamie?

S: He obviously loses the love of his life and he expects to die. And when he doesn’t, he goes through this process of all the phases of grief and mourning: Ultimately, why is he there and what does he have to live for? He regresses into a shell of who he is and it takes him a long time to rediscover himself; he doesn’t want to be Jamie Fraser anymore. He wants to hide in the shadows, not because he’s an outlaw or a prisoner, but he wants to live in the memory of her.

Time is probably the best healer and it does take a long time for him to come to terms with the fact that she's actually gone. He goes on an insane journey to see if she’s still alive or possibly has come back into his life, and when he really finds out that she hasn’t, he can move on. And he does—he creates a new life for himself.

Is he a whole person?

S: Of course he’s not. He’s always loved her and always had a space in his heart for her, but he rebuilds himself.

Is there anything left of the old Jamie?

S: He’s still there, but he has to go through a lot of growing up. Not giving away too many spoilers, but he becomes a father, he gains his liberty, and finds peace within himself with who he is without her. I think that’s important, actually. He finds himself.

And Claire does too?

C: I think what I love about her is that she is a survivor, so even though there’s a part of her that has been shelved—her heart is definitely hardened and broken—but that she does figure out a way to create a successful life. That’s important about both these characters: Even though this relationship and this love that they experienced are bigger than any of us could hope to have, I suppose, that they don’t make it their single defining characteristic. To honor that relationship and the people that they are, they make the best of the lives they have.

S: They’re at their best when they’re together. They’re a team, they’re a couple. And that’s when they have the most life-affirming moments.

Are they still in love 20 years later? How do you keep a love going for 20 years when you don't even see each other?

C: Yes, because I think when you experience something that strong, it doesn’t fade away. You can keep it in a certain place, but it doesn’t diminish.

S: That’s what they do. They eventually sort of come to terms with each other passing, but there’s always that part of them that they keep dear to them. So when they do reunite it’s like, Oh wow, you’re back, and they fall back into their own routine until they realize that they have changed and have become different people.

C: When somebody cherishes a memory like that, you put them on a pedestal and nobody else can come close. You’re looking at it through rose-tinted glasses. When they first meet, it’s that first rush of love and it’s like that old time. And then what they have to do is dismantle that pedestal and illusion they’re created and find a way of falling in love with the people they are now.

They have great sex scenes in the book, but they have fights too. Which is more fun?

C: Fights!

S: Fights. Always. It’s gotten physical at times.

C: Um, yeah!

S: But it’s great. Caitriona is wonderful to work with, so they're the scenes we do cherish and enjoy, don't we, because we get to go at it.

C: I think the thing about these two people is they love so passionately and they fight so passionately. They live on this really fierce frequency and it’s great, because we do like to go for it. We know each other so well that we know how to push each other’s buttons—it's good, it's fun.

Ever go too far with that?

C: I mean, I’ve landed across the room on my ass this season, which was rather painful. I come away with quite a few injuries.

S: They're both very stubborn, and she’s very opinionated.

...Claire or Caitriona?

S: [Laughing] Aaand moving on from that! No, I enjoy those scenes. And the sex scenes are what they are. It’s an important part of the story and definitely this season there are a lot more.

I think the fans are happy. They weren't too happy with season two, because there weren't very many.

C: We were telling a different story then. I do think that the beauty of Diana [Gabaldon]’s books is that they're about a relationship that spans decades. It’s important to show every cycle of that relationship and not to just repeat one over and over again. What we set out to do is not to just have sex for sex’s sake, but have it tell something about the couple and where they are in the relationship and the point to the story. And if you’re just having sex scenes thrown in everywhere, then they lose their impact. So last season it was about two people who weren’t in a groove with each other and were feeling off-kilter. So other things became their focus, like changing history, which is a big thing.

It doesn’t look like you aged that much in the end of season two.

C: I have some grey in my hair. It's funny, I think we all assumed that we would do a bit more. But she’s only 50. He’s only in his mid-40s.

S: Yeah, when you say it like that...

C: It's not like they’re so much older. The difference between 30, when we last saw her, and 50 is not that huge when you look around. We looked around at our makeup department and the women who were 47, 48, 49 looked great. I think the decision was to play with the hair and more about how time has changed them internally rather than externally. The '60s makeup and '60s costume definitely help give her more authority—she just feels a little bit older in that way. But it’s hard then when you go back to the no-makeup look of the 1700s to tie that in. I was just really tired and haggard myself, so they’re all just mine, those wrinkles.

I thought

in the promo

, in the shot when you were in Edinburgh, about to go into the print shop, you looked so vulnerable and so luminous, but it’s a different Claire. You’ve left the '60s and the Jackie Kennedy look. I have to say, you are both great in this, you do a lot with the emotion in your faces.

S: Well, in that moment, she's just put everything on the line, hasn't she? She doesn’t know how he’s going to react.

C: For me, one of the hardest things to wrap my head around this season was Claire leaving her daughter. And that was such a huge part. Initially when we got our scripts, it was Claire with Roger. And I remember saying to the writers: "Hold on a minute, it has to be with Brianna, because that’s the relationship, that’s the price that she’s paying." To make that sacrifice—you could poll a hundred mothers, and how many mothers would be able to do that? That’s the ultimate price that she pays.

You guys are really close friends. So what do you like about each other? And you can also tell me what you dislike...

S: [Laughing] Long list!

C: I mean, Sam’s just so kind. He’s a really good friend. He always checks in. I don’t know, he has one of the biggest hearts and smallest egos that I know.

[Sam and Caitriona high five]

S: Absolute same.

C: [Laughing] You can't just pick my answer!

S: No, she’s not only a great actress, she's a great friend and a great advice giver, too. And we have each other's backs. It’s a remarkable journey that we’ve been on, starting this together, being thrown in the deep end and being like, Okay! We're going to do this together. It’s a nice bond and I think people are fascinated by it, in a weird way—I know the fans are. We respect each other and have got each other's backs. I’m very fortunate that we have that, it’s great.

How many more will you do? Will you do them all if they want?

C: It depends. If they want, is the big...we’ve signed up for quite a few.

S: We've definitely got this year and then I guess they’ll see.

C: It depends on if they want to keep making them. It depends on if we keep the standard and quality up. I think that's important to everyone, you don’t want to just churn something out.

S: I feel this season is possibly the strongest. The first season was amazing; it was the beginning. And the second season, there were things I loved and things I didn't. But I think this season—Outlander as an adventure, as a historical romance, it keeps moving forward. Viewers are going to be like, Wooow.

C: Their heads are going to spin. They’re going to be like, Where are we now?!

It’s challenging for you to be in Africa, in Scotland, in Boston, in Jamaica, in the middle of the ocean.

S: It's like, What show is this?!

C: It is challenging, the peripheral stuff, but as long as we keep the relationship at the center, it doesn’t matter, because that’s the anchor.