#all doctors are bastards

[my-traumacore-sideblog]

i was just scrolling thru tiktok and found this, it's genuinely so triggering to see how little the staff think about the patients and how casually they talk about forcing meds on the patients

it shows so clearly that they don't see the patients as people because if they did they wouldn't be posting this shit talking about it and bosting about forcing unwanted medication on human beings and the fact that in most of these places if you are a patient you are not allowed to have contact with the outside world ""for the sake of your dignity"" supposedly so when u r out then no1 has 2 know what kind of state u were in but then the staff members r allowed 2 post abt u having ur breakdowns is rly telling and they r rly telling on themselves here

it was never abt our dignity

it was abt making sure we couldn't beg friends or family members 2 get us out of there

i hate this so much

sorry if this is more raw than normal im typing while triggered since this is more healthy than hurting my body

please don't try to talk to me directly on this post, i just needed to get my raw feelings out and then after this im probably just gonna cry and have a snack or something

please don't report this post bc of me talking abt my experiences w my own emotions, like i said this is not a threat of self harm, i do this so i don't feel the urge 2 do smth more destructive, sort of like writing in a journal? but this is more acessible 4 me bc it's just a place 4 feelings like this and stuff that triggers me and i can hav ppl online validate my feelings that yeah this stuff isn't okay and it's okay 2 b upset abt it, this is me being responsible and preventing myself from harming myself, bc i hav this blog as a method of getting it all out u guys don't need 2 worry, thought i should clarify given some of the stuff i was talking abt earlier in the post abt having rly raw emotions rn

rn at least? i want this post 2 go fucking viral

i want ppl 2 c how fucked up this is

how medical workers don't c us as ppl

how they think nothing of forcing medicine and "treatments" on us that we don't want

how 2 them we r just an obstacle in their day

just 2 b clear nothing bad is going 2 happen 2 me if this doesn't go viral, like i said, this is just me getting all my feelings out and dumping them onto virtual paper so i don't have them rattling around in my head anymore

whatever happens 2 this post, im just gonna finish this post, hav a good cry or a sad nap and a snack and then a talk with a loved one and im going to then continue my day as normal

this post going viral or not viral would have zero impact on my day, i just right now am having this desperate feeling of wanting to shove this in everyone's face and go "see!? this is how they see us! this isn't okay! can someone do something!? can someone out there force these people to acknowledge the ableism in the medical professionals!? the medical professionals i am sometimes forced to trust with my health as a disabled person! and yet they feel nothing but vile disgust towards me!"

idk, i just feel like this tiktok is a rly good example of the kind of medical ableism and medical abuse me and others like me have been yelling about for ages

okay better now after getting that out, thought i should tell u guys so u don't worry abt me, seen ppl being weird abt ppl emotional posting and now it's made me worried i hav 2 b super careful if u couldn't tell so yeah, better now tho

update: found out how 2 report content so i did that 4 the tiktok, u go 2 the share button and then there's a lil grey looking button w a flag on it 4 any of the rest of u who c this and think it should b reported/taken down

[trauma-trove]

I wish I was a dangerous animal so I could just be knocked tf out every time a doctor dares to come near me

[mordcore]

and are those thousands of people faking their disabilities for attention in the room with us right now?

[solahifuefos]

still unreasonably pissed off that i waited an entire year to see a "specialist" doctor just for him to tell me he doesnt know anything about what it is but i should google it myself

ive been trying to get a doctor to even acknowledge that ANYTHING is happening for over a decade and i finally see one and he tells me to fucking google it like i couldve myself

what the fuck is the point of him why does he have a fucking job

[cymae-mesa]

part of what makes me so angry about the medical profession is the entire system's confusion about who is the servant.

I don't expect fudal deference from doctors, I'm not calling for them to doff their hats. But I do expect the same kind of respect and obedience I expect from people who work in shops and resurants.

Yes, doctors know more than I do about medicine. Chefs know more than I do about cooking, that's why I'm willing to pay them more to make food for me. But that skill doesn't make them my master, it doesn't give the chef a right to mandate I eat certain things, it doesn't mean I need a chef's consent before I eat. Their skill exists to serve me, not to impose their will on me.

Yes, the person behind the till knows more about what her shop sells than I do, and so I might ask advice if I have an unusual or complicated requirement. But that doesn't mean I should applaud terrible service, it doesn't mean I should be made to rearrange my schedule to suit the conveince of the shop, it doesn't mean I should be the one sent out to fetch things.

You don't need to be my vassal, but I will not be yours.

[explainslowly]

the fact that a rancid sexuologist cunt who shall not be named in this post made sure you can't get a top surgery without going trough the stupid comittee again makes me dead certain doctors must miss abortion comittees so much, making decisions dictating the course of people's entire lives is the only pleasure in their sad little fascist lives

like you have to understand, not only will this delay many people's procedures (already pretty gross) but this also is again locking out a substantial amount people out of getting them at all, not even self-paid, literally doctors won't do them for you

[nedfelix]

thinking about my botched asshole surgery like wow what a fucked up thing i was forced to experience

[captnbas]

happy 60th to one of my lifelong faves🕯️

update: prints now available!! @

[ohmerricat]

my vision for a utopian future is a britain where the police have long since been abolished and replaced with non-carceral social services but doctor who is still running and when kids see the TARDIS on screen they ask their parents “what’s a police” and it becomes the only living memory of a bygone age of oppression and control. kind of like how the blue telephone boxes themselves are extinct now and more associated with the tv show itself than the cops, but this time with the police force as a whole. no more pigs in uniform only dr who

[synodic-lupine]

Nine and Ten's arcs go hand in hand as a collectively great PTSD narrative imo. I think Ten's wishy-washiness about relationships and inability to fully open up to Rose is often characterized as plain old fear of commitment yet I see that as a progression to another presentation of PTSD. When we first meet Nine, he seems like he's halfway to planning on how to get himself killed. He meets Rose, he heals, he changes, he grows. Then he regenerates into someone with a desire to live and the seeming capacity to just be happy. At the same time, he regenerated for and because of Rose. Recovery that hinges on one person is a tricky thing. When you're with that person it can feel like there's no more work to be done, like you're totally 'fixed'. Every moment with that person feels like the best thing in the world... which makes it significantly harder to open up about anything trauma related. When you're feeling high on a person's presence why would you ever want to think about the bad things? THEN because he finally properly wants to live, The Doctor gets hit with the realization that living a full life means losing Rose in the end and it's downright intolerable to him. It makes him push and pull and act like a bastard sometimes. We get glimpses of who he is without her in the moments when she's threatened. He loses his damn mind any time she's threatened- he gets that crazed look akin to Nine in Dalek more than anything. This is also in contrast to how Nine used to react to Rose being threatened, where he used to still be able to keep it reined in. THEN... he loses her for real and he backslides majorly. We see the effects in Turn Left, that if Donna hadn't been there he would have died right after saying goodbye to Rose. He's more or less back where he started as Nine in the beginning of series one, looking for a way to die. He lives though, and has to accept that no, he's not perfectly recovered and keep on working on it. He opens up about things in ways we saw him struggle to in series 2. Though he's more callous in series 3 and 4, he seems to struggle more with relating to humans, his bastardous tendencies pop up more. He's also a freaking disaster man in series 4 with the number of times he offers or tries to give up his life for others. He DOES make recovery progress through series 3 and 4, just is slow like in real life. All of that makes JE make sense to me in that this is a man who is experiencing turbo PTSD triggering. He pushes everyone away all at once, because maybe being alone will hurt less than losing people after all. Even after all that in the end when he is dying he says he doesn't want to go. He was born into wanting to live and be happy so of course he doesn't want to go.

[quietwingsinthesky]

it’s that no one ever believed him that gets to me the most. this is a society of telepaths. and yet when the doctor finds out that the drums are real, he’s surprised. the master is surprised, elated, by the confirmation that he’s hearing something that’s really there, that this thing that’s been following him and hurting him for so long is real.

after a certain point, given that the master is Really Fucking Good at mind control and such, you have to imagine that no one could just pick up on the noise in his head with a little general telepathy. he had to choose to let the doctor in to share it. and. and okay. we need to put aside him striving to be The Best At Controlling People’s Minds in the context of him having his mind violated as a child because if i think about these two things in relation to each other i’ll throw up.

but there has to have been a point before he was so accomplished that he couldn’t have defended his own mind as easily. that he couldn’t keep someone, anyone, from delving into his head and hearing the drums. which means i must conclude, because we find out who put them in his head at all and it’s the most powerful guy on gallifrey, that when he was younger, the people around him did know. they could hear the drums. they could figure out what was done to him. but they did nothing, they said nothing, they told him he was hearing things. because if the lord president wanted to use a child for his own ends, who was going to stand up and stop him? easier to sweep it under the rug. and the master lived with that for so long that finally having just one other person hear the drums was a shock to him.

[mordcore]

my gods being stubborn and not giving reasons and putting your foot down (literally in this case) really works huh

ok so the doctor grabbed my wheelchair without asking or anything and i said "i need my dad he's also coming" (i had been warned that they might throw a fit about bringing someone else) and she said no so i pressed my feet to the floor to stop her from pushing me into the room and said i need him hes coming with me. she asked me how old i am and i said "24. and hes coming with me"

she was like angry about it but allowed him in and then she gradually became more friendly during the actual talk about my symptoms and stuff. wtf lol??

my friend who went here in october had the exact same experience btw

so weird

[nights-are-better]

i've seen a lot of stuff on this recently and wanna add in my opinions bc why not. there's stuff going around about how low engagement is on fanfics and people are right, i run an edit account (shameless promotion on it rn) and write fics (more shameless promotion) and i get a decent amount of attention, don't get me wrong i love when one person engages bc that means it's reached one person.

but back when i started my edit account it peaks pretty decently, then everything started slowing down and it's really sad, as much as i tell myself not to get hurt by the little attention it gets, i put so much effort into the edits and fics, just to feel a little short changed.

i bounce from more mainstream fandoms to more niche ones, i get engagement varies based on how big a fandom is so when i get little attention on my more niche edits i get it. but when it's a larger fandom, it hurts that i don't get much attention.

when it comes to fanfics, i get kudos, same logic, smaller fandoms, less attention not the issue. the issue i have is that no one comments, i get roughly three or less than. it's not that i wanna sit there and go 'validate me strangers, validate me' it just is a little encouragement when someone says they enjoyed it and can't wait for more (and i also struggle to leave comments on fics to, it slips my mind when you get excited with new ships or just fics).

i know there a bigger issues in fandoms (and the world), but the small sense of community i get within fandoms is quite nice, i've made some mates over the past few years and it's nice, becuase some pretty good friendships come out of one share interest.

it's worrying to me that interaction in fandoms seems to have fizzled out, but also how toxic a lot of them have become, i've seen so many saying they get rude comments, there's so much discourse. i sit back and avoid shit going down in fandoms bc at the end of the day, sure it's just a fandom, but it's also a community for so many.

sure fics/edits are made for the creators, i write a lot of 'no one asked for this' fics, but that doesn't mean you can't engage, leave a comment every once in a while if you enjoyed it, show the author some love.

[cymae-mesa]

Time to Orbit Unknown spoilers:

[carebooks]

r.i.p to daemon but the doctor would’ve figured out what the hell is up with harrenhal, make crispin cole admit he hates himself, figured out larys’ schemes, chastise otto hightower, stopped the war, crowned rhaenyra, befriend a dragon, and still be back in time for fish sticks and custard