#all doctors are bastards

[cymae-mesa]

Strongly recommend finding out what drug mills have been the subject of an exposé for getting their patients hooked on powerful meds. I found one and my ADHD diagnosis was smooth sailing. I get amphetamines about this!

[trauma-trove]

I wish I was a dangerous animal so I could just be knocked tf out every time a doctor dares to come near me

[crepuscular-girlthing]

my doctor has probably given me at least one chronic condition by overprescibing a medication and telling me the side effects are manageable when they actually aren't.

[solahifuefos]

still unreasonably pissed off that i waited an entire year to see a "specialist" doctor just for him to tell me he doesnt know anything about what it is but i should google it myself

ive been trying to get a doctor to even acknowledge that ANYTHING is happening for over a decade and i finally see one and he tells me to fucking google it like i couldve myself

what the fuck is the point of him why does he have a fucking job

[explainslowly]

the fact that a rancid sexuologist cunt who shall not be named in this post made sure you can't get a top surgery without going trough the stupid comittee again makes me dead certain doctors must miss abortion comittees so much, making decisions dictating the course of people's entire lives is the only pleasure in their sad little fascist lives

like you have to understand, not only will this delay many people's procedures (already pretty gross) but this also is again locking out a substantial amount people out of getting them at all, not even self-paid, literally doctors won't do them for you

[dykescooby]

thinking about my botched asshole surgery like wow what a fucked up thing i was forced to experience

[cymae-mesa]

I really wish the people who made these quizzes had a good enough understanding of psychology they could explain what they mean to others clearly. But more than that I wish these Cosmo relationship quizzes had not been given legal status as Official Diagnostic Tools on which basis people can be forced into undesired treatment or denied desired treatment.

When I was younger and researching the autism diagnosis criteria and symptoms, I thought “oh I couldn’t POSSIBLY be autistic.” Because when I read “takes everything literally” I thought it literally meant EVERYTHING and I was like “I don’t take EVERYTHING literally, just most things!” And I just realized the other day that it didn’t actually mean EVERYTHING and that was an overstatement.

[wilderbas]

happy 60th to one of my lifelong faves🕯️

update: prints now available!! @

[cymae-mesa]

Against the Regret Standard.

The problem with SSRIs is they occupy the perfect worst of both worlds. If they worked they'd be great, if they didn't work that'd be annoying but at least you wouldn't have to put up with the side effects. Instead they just barely work. They're the tiniest sliver of help in a situation where you have no other good options and so you take them and ignore the downsides.

I regret taking SSRIs. Losing your entire sex drive for years sucks. Insomnia sucks. Having to manage doctors and my mother badgering me to come off for years sucks. Withdrawal sucks. Switching to the wrong one and becoming lethargic and nearly housebound sucks. And in exchange i didn't even end up not depressed! The upside barely registers on the scale.

But when I think of that poor kid who made the terrible choice to start them and imagine telling him he shouldn't... Fuck you. That kid is about to make a terrible choice, but go to hell if you think I'd take that tiny sliver of help away from him. None of his other choices were better than nothing, but more importantly none of his other choices were what he chose, and he deserved to have power over his own life. Even at the cost of fucking with mine. Denying him a terrible option which is also the only one on the table better than nothing would be profoundly evil.

Post hoc regret is not the right standard for denying people choice over their bodies and their medicine.

[cymae-mesa]

The problem is these people having the power to do this to anyone without a jury, not who they did it to.

"FACTUAL ALLEGATIONS

9. Plaintiff Alexander Morris is an African American man and is the lead singer of the famous Motown group the "Four Tops." At the time of the incident the Four Tops were on a national music tour with the Temptations and had recently performed at the Grammy Awards.

10. On or about April 7, 2023; Plaintiff was transported to the Ascension Macomb Oakland Hospital emergency room via ambulance, and he presented to the emergency room with difficulty breathing and chest pain, he was on oxygen, and he had a significant known history of cardiac disease including the placement of stints and defibrillator. During his hospitalization, Plaintiff was ultimately diagnosed with a heart infraction that may require a heart transplant, pneumonia, and he suffered three seizures during his stay.

11. When he presented to the emergency room Plaintiff informed a nurse and a security guard that he was a member of the famous Motown group the "Four Tops," and that he had current security concerns due to stalkers and fans.

12. Shortly after check-in a nurse Holly Jackson, a White male security guard Greg Ciesielski, and a White male emergency room doctor Brandon Harris Fishman, DO racially profiled him and/or profiled him based upon a perceived disability and placed an order for a psychological evaluation for Plaintiff because they did not believe he was a singer or member of the "Four Tops." Doctor Brandon Harris Fishman, DO, the emergency room doctor who was on staff met with Plaintiff and interviewed him, Plaintiff informed him of his medical history, and informed him that he was having difficulty breathing and chest pain. Defendants and Brandon Harris Fishman, DO wrongfully assumed he was mentally ill when he revealed his identity as a celebrity figure. Defendants and/or Brandon Harris Fishman, DO made the decision to remove him from oxygen and pursue a psychiatric evaluation instead despite his clear symptoms of cardiac distress and significant medical history.

13. Plaintiff had a valid identification on his person and could easily have been identified as a singer in the Four Tops group.

14. Brandon Harris Fishman, DO ordered a psychological evaluation for Plaintiff instead of ordering the emergency medical treatment he needed. Plaintiff was denied the emergency medical care he needed due to his heart condition and pneumonia, and instead a security guard was instructed to ensure he was placed into a restraining jacket and/or a four-point restraint mechanism, removed his belongings, and Plaintiff was told he was going to have a "psych eval" or psychological evaluation. Plaintiff was referred to Virjaya Gopal Kotha, MD for the psychological evaluation.

15. Plaintiff asked if he could prove his identity by showing his identification card, and the White male security guard ordered him to "sit his Black ass down." None of the nursing staff intervened to stop the racial discrimination and mistreatment of Plaintiff. Upon information and belief none of the nursing staff reported the mistreatment or use of the racial slur to a supervisor. Moreover, none of the nursing staff thought to simply ask for Plaintif's identification.

16. Plaintiff told medical staff he was having difficulty breathing and asked for the oxygen back but was ignored. Plaintiff asked to have the restraint device removed and asked for his personal belongings back so he could leave and seek treatment at another hospital, and he was told he was not free to leave; thus, he was falsely imprisoned and deprived of his personal property. During this time his medical condition continuously declined and he was denied the medical treatment he desperately needed.

17. Several security guards were called to surround the nursing station to ensure Plaintiff could not leave. During this entire incident Plaintiff was not being treated for his medical emergency, namely a severe heart condition and pneumonia. Defendant Hospital and Defendant Jackson blatantly refused to provide Plaintiff with medical treatment due to his race and/or perceived mental disability. Instead, Plaintiff received a deliberate misdiagnosis and received a lower standard of medical care based on his race that amounted to racial discrimination and delayed his actual diagnosis.

18. Finally, Plaintiff's wife came to the nursing station to collect his belongings and she saw what was transpiring and Plaintiff informed his wife that the doctors thought he was delusional. Plaintiff's wife informed one of the security officers that he was actually a member of the Four Tops, but he took no action on Plaintiff's behalf, and he was left in the restraints and denied medical treatment. A nurse came to Plaintiff's side, and Plaintiff asked to show the nurse the video of him performing at the Grammys. The nurse realized Plaintiff was a member of the Four Tops, and the nurse went and got the emergency room doctor to inform him. The emergency room doctor returned and said he was cancelling the psychological evaluation.

19. The restraint jacket was finally removed, and he was placed back on oxygen. Plaintiff was restrained for approximately an hour and a half or 90 minutes. As aforementioned, during his hospitalization, Plaintiff was ultimately diagnosed with a heart infraction that may require a heart transplant, pneumonia, and he suffered three seizures during his stay.

20. Plaintiff was offered a $25.00 gift card to Meijers as an apology for the dehumanization and discrimination he faced at the hands of the hospital. He refused to accept the gift card.

21. Subsequent to the incident, a security guard that worked at the hospital contacted Plaintiff and informed him that Greg Ciesielski the security guard that restrained Plaintiff and made the racist comment, made racist comments and jokes to him and other coworkers about African Americans, and that he frequently used excessive force with patients.

22. The security guard who called Plaintiff also reported that he witnessed employees tampering with the internal incident report made on the incident involving Plaintiff, and he believed the use of racial slur was removed from the internal incident report, and he stated that employees were instructed not to discuss the incident. The security guard also stated that Greg Ciesielski was not disciplined or suspended because of the incident.

23. As a result of the above actions and inactions of Defendants as described above and below, Plaintiff suffered injuries and damages. Defendants are sued jointly and severally."

[dandelionjack]

my vision for a utopian future is a britain where the police have long since been abolished and replaced with non-carceral social services but doctor who is still running and when kids see the TARDIS on screen they ask their parents “what’s a police” and it becomes the only living memory of a bygone age of oppression and control. kind of like how the blue telephone boxes themselves are extinct now and more associated with the tv show itself than the cops, but this time with the police force as a whole. no more pigs in uniform only dr who

[quietwingsinthesky]

it’s that no one ever believed him that gets to me the most. this is a society of telepaths. and yet when the doctor finds out that the drums are real, he’s surprised. the master is surprised, elated, by the confirmation that he’s hearing something that’s really there, that this thing that’s been following him and hurting him for so long is real.

after a certain point, given that the master is Really Fucking Good at mind control and such, you have to imagine that no one could just pick up on the noise in his head with a little general telepathy. he had to choose to let the doctor in to share it. and. and okay. we need to put aside him striving to be The Best At Controlling People’s Minds in the context of him having his mind violated as a child because if i think about these two things in relation to each other i’ll throw up.

but there has to have been a point before he was so accomplished that he couldn’t have defended his own mind as easily. that he couldn’t keep someone, anyone, from delving into his head and hearing the drums. which means i must conclude, because we find out who put them in his head at all and it’s the most powerful guy on gallifrey, that when he was younger, the people around him did know. they could hear the drums. they could figure out what was done to him. but they did nothing, they said nothing, they told him he was hearing things. because if the lord president wanted to use a child for his own ends, who was going to stand up and stop him? easier to sweep it under the rug. and the master lived with that for so long that finally having just one other person hear the drums was a shock to him.

[mellowwillowy]

Shady Bastards DOL AU

You, Bailey, and Eden were raised in the same orphanage.

You, Bailey, Eden, Briar, and Darryl went to the same high school. Judging from Vrel's Q&A answer, Bailey was bullied back then in a sense. I'd like to think he was bullied when his morals were still high until it dropped to 5 where he started to fight back and be on the bully side now.

Bailey was rated 9/10 in willingness to go for their crush, the reason why he didn't profess his love for reader was because it was not a reasonable environment to love reader. Nonetheless, both reader and him gave each other their virginities. For reader, it was because they trusted and loved Bailey the most while Bailey just... yknow, had a crush on reader and saw no loss at all in this arrangement. It was an adolescent rush...! A proper hand-holding, unlike the old times, a proper tongue kiss unlike the old times' peck, a handjob, oral, and finally, the deed.

As for Eden, there wasn't any sexual intercourse happening but Eden knew you two did the deed.

Not much was known about Briar (or maybe because I haven't found and read his QnAs...) but Briar was almost like your girl's girl best friend with how much you always went to him to ramble and vent. Bailey would never understand half of what you were talking about and that was the exact reason you went to Briar instead!

Briar lost his virginities earlier than anyone in the gang so he was the one who taught you how to kiss better directly, better not let Bailey see it unless you wanted him to throw hands at Briar. If only you had a more sentimental attraction for Briar, you were most likely to give all your first to him instead of Bailey. Compared to Bailey who was unskilled in kissing, Briar had this addicting pull and push when his tongue swirled with yours. It wasn't considered cheating when you and Bailey were never an item to begin with and Briar was pleased with this relationship.

Briar loved to dress you up as he had the best taste in fashion if compared to Bailey and Eden. It was thanks to Briar that you were noticed by Avery in the cafe. Briar knew what Avery was and had nothing against the arrangement he was about to propose to you. Briar's smile for Avery never reached his eyes but it was as though he had been given a green light as he left you with Avery alone (he still hung around the park just in case things went South. This town was never safe and he didn't know Avery's nature that well yet.)

Given your condition and his incapability to help you, he could only ensure your arrangement with Avery went smoothly as it would ensure you a week free from stress and beating from your caretaker. Briar could help you do your hair and perhaps a makeup in accordance with Avery's taste, dressing you up to be the most beautiful for his many dates and wishing you the best.

Miraculously enough, Avery was never enraged by you or even hurt you in any way. He would not force any sexual intercourse from you if you showed no hint of expecting one (in which Briar forgot to mention that sugar arrangement mostly consisted of sex). Avery would have forced it on you any time soon but he couldn't bring himself to. You were a delicacy in his eyes that he didn't want to taint and the money rolling in did not decrease at all.

"It was almost like a compensated dating!" you told Bailey as you shared your allowance with him to help cover the rent. Bailey wished he could make you stop but he understood why Briar even let you do it in the first place. He hated how he could not vocalize his dislikes just because it would only get you in trouble.

And it was indeed troublesome when you and Avery had an extraordinary date at the horse riding school. It was a mere coincidence that Remy was there fooling around with Wren on their horses. What caught his eyes was how he could feel something glowing from his peripheral vision and by the time he noticed you, he deduced it was coming from your white attire. He could see how it was not the best attire for horse riding and motioned one of the workers to lend you the horse riding attire.

Remy decided to lend it to you in person because he was curious to see your face closer and god did his breath hitch when he saw how pretty you look like up close. Avery seemed proud to notice the flustered boy as he snaked his hand to your waist, showing off to him that you were his date. The two of them knew each other from school and university though they didn't know that much, Avery knew Remy was a hot shot with all the shady rumors circulating him regarding his ongoing construction of an underground farm.

Just before you left the horse riding school, Remy managed to find a chance to talk with you out of Avery's earshot.

"I'd be delighted to see you come here again. I'll be your coach for free if you are willing to see me again. Are you not interested in learning more about how to ride a horse properly to visit the moor or anywhere in which a vehicle couldn't access?" and curiosity did get the best out of you. You went there at the weekend and started bonding with Remy who fell for your beauty before it spiraled into genuine crush. Bailey noticed that there were soon two different expensive cars parked in front of the orphanage to pick you up but said nothing. Both he and Briar managed to pry an answer out of you and learned about Remy though.

Regarding Darryl, Landry, and Niki, they were all your adorable juniors in school. Darryl often hung around with you when Bailey was away because he was scared of him (Bailey had started to present himself as a delinquent to thwart the bullying). Landry on the other hand seemed to be on a good term with Bailey though they never really talked to each other unless you were there while Niki was just an oddball who liked to snap candid pictures of you, reminding you of that smart kid Harper.

Avery who sniffed your relationship with Remy decided to have another date in the horse riding school with Remy coaching. Avery was feeling ill-mannered when he purposely mentioned the fact that Remy was once bullied in high school while feigning sympathy. Remy felt like whipping Avery with his crop until he realized instead of being humiliated in front of you, you were worried for him.

"You were bullied a lot? Does it scar you? I have a friend who was bullied and changed drastically just to protect himself so it saddened me to see him in you... he's now a delinquent because of them bullies!"

Remy was baffled as he found it hard to connect the dots until he skillfully wove an answer that ended up degrading Bailey instead. Remy had sniffed about this close friend of yours since childhood and wasn't really accepting of the fact that he had to be considered the same as a street rat. As for Avery's blatant remarks... he supposed he'd let it slide for now though he had for sure remembered it.

Unfortunately, this whole ordeal didn't last long as it was short-lived the moment your caretaker was called to identify your swollen floating body in the forest lake. You were found dead mysteriously after being announced missing for at least a month. Despite all the men Remy had deployed to tear the whole town down for you, Eden roaming around the forest and even coming back and forth in the forest lake, Bailey's desperation to even travel down the sewer, the Juniors who were still in school hastily spreading missing person pamphlet and Briar even going as far to meet one of the brothel ringleaders for a hint; you were never found. Not even a whiff of your scent.

Your funeral was held properly thanks to Avery and Remy's interference instead of being handled by your caretaker. Solid mahogany casket imported by Remy from outside the town, a rather spacious land for you to be buried in and always guarded to be safe from the monsters that might vandalize or even do anything to your body and a fight that broke out as the casket was lowered down.

Bailey couldn't hold it in anymore and punched the dazed-out Remy. The older man fell on his bum, cheek stinging from the impact. Eden immediately held Bailey back while Avery and Harper rushed to Remy's side. Bailey blamed Remy for your mysterious disappearance and death, finger pointed at Remy as he choked on his sobs. It had almost been forever since he last cried. The last time was when you, Eden, and he were in the loft, terrified.

The usual smart, pompous Remy lost his composure and couldn't retaliate against his punch, opting to tremble in confusion and shock at the fact that your body was found in such an ugly way. Completely different from how beautiful you once were. Swollen, soulless eyes and curled-up skin. There were no external wounds, not even a hint that you slipped and fell into the lake as they deduced.

There were traces of alcohol, drugs, and hallucinogens in you and the authorities deduced your death as an accident where you accidentally slipped from your track and drowned. Your body wasn't found by Eden because it was still down the lake by lord knew what they spouted. Remy who had enough of their bullshit sent one of them to the ER.

"You could have prevented it! God knows what, maybe send your men to keep an eye on her even if she wasn't willing of it, shoot the killer's thousand bullets, and drag her away from the forest. You could, you could, you fucking could!"

Remy remained petrified. He knew the town was no safe place. Everyone knew that. That was the only reason stopping Bailey from acknowledging his wish to perhaps seek you out and confess his love, taking the relationship into another step and marrying you. But he didn't because you were in no environment suited for love. He could only remain overly protective of you for as much as he could.

And he should have.

"... I... don't... know." Remy choked on his sobs, palms digging into his face, "I don't fucking know! This whole town can just go to hell for all I know!"

Remy stood up and walked to your grave, shovel in his hand he announced boldly, "I will fucking find a way. I will tear down this whole town just for them to come back to life, blood, and flesh, nails, and teeth, I will make sure they will return to us."

Avery was never someone interested in shallow cult but he didn't show any distaste at all, the same went to Briar.

Everyone doubted Remy was bluffing. He was serious. Dead serious with this whole occultism and sacrifice, donning the silver antlered mask proudly as yet another dead body disposed into the sewer, guts consumed by the ignorant higher-ups and ringleaders.

Remy's underground farm finished shortly after you were dead and he focused on producing milk from humans, trafficking them every now and then. Briar was appointed as one of the underground brothel ringleaders and finally owned an establishment. The brothel in Harvest Street.

Bailey who had long been destined to a life of crime due to anxiety of living in this town grew to be the next monstrous caretaker who dedicated his life to the children's potential. Eden secluded himself further in the forest as a hunter. Avery didn't change much but he was much more visible with temperament, getting physical with all his dates when things didn't go as planned.

Harper worked together with Remy, trying to achieve the same goal despite having two different methods of approaching it. Niki became a photographer and owned a studio. Darryl almost failed all his classes by the end of the school year because of Leighton and your death but he managed to own an establishment after years. Landry became even more distant and drowned himself in the world of criminals.

Bailey had always disliked the people involved with you but after the incident, his hatred for Remy materialized even more. As much as they did work together sometimes, the displeasure and tension was visible between them. The two of them were then on the same par of criminality level.

Bailey also blamed Quinn who wasn’t a mayor back then for your death and managed to secure blackmail material, putting the higher-level criminal under his thumb.

Everyone had been shaped to be living in crime, steeling their feet in their position to protect themselves from the town's looming threat. To not be the next body lowered into the ground. To not have the same fate as you did, ironically enough.

It proved really well judging by how wary Avery was toward Bailey, to finally acknowledge and fear the once pitiful orphan. Bailey’s end goal required him to obtain a ridiculous amount of money and he did so by extorting and selling orphans.

—

Bailey thought his eyes were playing tricks. That you were just another hallucination from the amount of liquor he had earlier in his flat before checking the orphanage out again. That the you drenched in rain, trembling from cold and horror was just an illusion.

Maybe it wasn't you, just someone who looked almost like you and he was fooled by the alcohol elevating your appearance, his hand immediately went to rub his chest where a tattooed name of yours lay.

But it was really you, choking on your sobs and begging for help.

"Please help me, there were people trying to assault me!"

Maybe Remy really did have a point for once. Maybe those dumb cults really had a point. For now, however, he'd like to shield you from the other bastards prying eyes. Feigning the gentle smile he usually had to fool people, his hand snaked to your waist dangerously intimate, "This is no place for us to talk, do come inside and change into one of the spare clothes I have."

[synodic-lupine]

Nine and Ten's arcs go hand in hand as a collectively great PTSD narrative imo. I think Ten's wishy-washiness about relationships and inability to fully open up to Rose is often characterized as plain old fear of commitment yet I see that as a progression to another presentation of PTSD. When we first meet Nine, he seems like he's halfway to planning on how to get himself killed. He meets Rose, he heals, he changes, he grows. Then he regenerates into someone with a desire to live and the seeming capacity to just be happy. At the same time, he regenerated for and because of Rose. Recovery that hinges on one person is a tricky thing. When you're with that person it can feel like there's no more work to be done, like you're totally 'fixed'. Every moment with that person feels like the best thing in the world... which makes it significantly harder to open up about anything trauma related. When you're feeling high on a person's presence why would you ever want to think about the bad things? THEN because he finally properly wants to live, The Doctor gets hit with the realization that living a full life means losing Rose in the end and it's downright intolerable to him. It makes him push and pull and act like a bastard sometimes. We get glimpses of who he is without her in the moments when she's threatened. He loses his damn mind any time she's threatened- he gets that crazed look akin to Nine in Dalek more than anything. This is also in contrast to how Nine used to react to Rose being threatened, where he used to still be able to keep it reined in. THEN... he loses her for real and he backslides majorly. We see the effects in Turn Left, that if Donna hadn't been there he would have died right after saying goodbye to Rose. He's more or less back where he started as Nine in the beginning of series one, looking for a way to die. He lives though, and has to accept that no, he's not perfectly recovered and keep on working on it. He opens up about things in ways we saw him struggle to in series 2. Though he's more callous in series 3 and 4, he seems to struggle more with relating to humans, his bastardous tendencies pop up more. He's also a freaking disaster man in series 4 with the number of times he offers or tries to give up his life for others. He DOES make recovery progress through series 3 and 4, just is slow like in real life. All of that makes JE make sense to me in that this is a man who is experiencing turbo PTSD triggering. He pushes everyone away all at once, because maybe being alone will hurt less than losing people after all. Even after all that in the end when he is dying he says he doesn't want to go. He was born into wanting to live and be happy so of course he doesn't want to go.

[nights-are-better]

i've seen a lot of stuff on this recently and wanna add in my opinions bc why not. there's stuff going around about how low engagement is on fanfics and people are right, i run an edit account (shameless promotion on it rn) and write fics (more shameless promotion) and i get a decent amount of attention, don't get me wrong i love when one person engages bc that means it's reached one person.

but back when i started my edit account it peaks pretty decently, then everything started slowing down and it's really sad, as much as i tell myself not to get hurt by the little attention it gets, i put so much effort into the edits and fics, just to feel a little short changed.

i bounce from more mainstream fandoms to more niche ones, i get engagement varies based on how big a fandom is so when i get little attention on my more niche edits i get it. but when it's a larger fandom, it hurts that i don't get much attention.

when it comes to fanfics, i get kudos, same logic, smaller fandoms, less attention not the issue. the issue i have is that no one comments, i get roughly three or less than. it's not that i wanna sit there and go 'validate me strangers, validate me' it just is a little encouragement when someone says they enjoyed it and can't wait for more (and i also struggle to leave comments on fics to, it slips my mind when you get excited with new ships or just fics).

i know there a bigger issues in fandoms (and the world), but the small sense of community i get within fandoms is quite nice, i've made some mates over the past few years and it's nice, becuase some pretty good friendships come out of one share interest.

it's worrying to me that interaction in fandoms seems to have fizzled out, but also how toxic a lot of them have become, i've seen so many saying they get rude comments, there's so much discourse. i sit back and avoid shit going down in fandoms bc at the end of the day, sure it's just a fandom, but it's also a community for so many.

sure fics/edits are made for the creators, i write a lot of 'no one asked for this' fics, but that doesn't mean you can't engage, leave a comment every once in a while if you enjoyed it, show the author some love.