#alien ashtray

[the-blunt-diaries]

Am sufficiently baked enough to go dye my hair for the rest of the night 🎷

[shiftythrifting]

Today was a intresting thrift visit and I did take the cup home

[wildbeautifuldamned]

Alien Smoking Ashtray, 4 inches, Multicolor ebay m4_essentials

[yandere-writer-momo]

Shoutout to Monster Anon for another amazing idea

Yandere Short Stories:

Right Where I Want You

Yandere Private Investigator x Fem Reader

TW: Yandere themes, delusional behavior, unhealthy behavior, racism (ex mil makes a comment), savior complex, murder, stalking, etc.

Inhale. Exhale. Nicalli blew cigarette smoke from his lips while his body sunk into his plush couch in his pent house. Another failure of a day in an attempt to find dirt on his target.

The stench from his lit cigarette did little to soothe the loneliness in Necalli’s heart. No, this small vice merely burned the back of his throat and made his clothes reek of bad decisions. This small action did little to satiate the growing lust that consumed his very being.

Nicalli ran an umber hand through his long, black hair. A few strands stuck to his sweaty palms while his heart raced in his chest.

Nicalli had been plagued with alien feelings ever since he’s taken on this new case. The case that involved the Goldberg family and their son’s fiancée, (your full name).

He has been a private investigator for over a decade and he’s never had someone be so innocent. How could (your name) not have a single speck of dirt on her?! Good people didn’t exist in this world! There was no way someone so pure could be involved with the Goldberg family…

Nicalli sighed in frustration and put his cigarette out on the jaguar shaped ashtray on his coffee table. His russet eyes scanned the various documents before him in frustration.

All he had were pictures of her helping at the local soup kitchen and her indulging in her small hobbies. She was so mundane… he didn’t have anything to give his employer to ‘protect her precious son.’

Nicalli had been on this case for eight months now and he still had nothing but pictures of this absurdly beautiful woman. Henry Goldberg was lucky to have such a faithful woman… Nicalli would die for one.

Nicalli didn’t believe in love after the betrayal of his lover when he was in the military. It was that betrayal that made him become a private investigator in the first place so no one else had to find out like he did… yet this life was lonely. Nicalli was so lonely and now he was enchanted by his target. How pathetic was that?

Nicalli continued to admire to various pictures he had of (your name). She was really beautiful… how could someone smile so joyously? There was nothing in this world to be happy about… or was there?

.

.

.

Nicalli recalled the memory of when he first received this job. He sat in the Goldberg mansion’s study. His large body squished into a small leather chair while the mother and son gave him fake smiles.

“We need you to investigate (your full name).” Mrs. Goldberg pushed a file towards Nicalli, the Mexican man accepted the file with a solemn look. “I feel like she’s cheating on my son… or even involved in some sort of illegal activity.”

Nicalli was shocked to open the file to see the smiling face of a beautiful young woman. This woman was involved in some sort of illegal activity? She looked like she couldn’t harm a fly!

“I will be able to sleep better at night knowing my son is in good hands.” Mrs. Goldberg she d a few crocodile tears before Henry Goldberg handed Nicalli a check that would make anyone gasp at the amount.

“I heard you’re the best in the business so please, don’t disappoint us.”

Nicalli took the money and nodded his head. He could do this… this job would be like all the others…

.

.

.

Nicalli felt his breath hitch the first day he saw (your name). He’s never seen someone so pretty before… she had to be some sort of forest fairy rather than a human.

Nicalli studied her from his car, his russet eyes studied her in great interest. He has followed her around for weeks now and there was still not a speck of dirt on her…

Nicalli was in disbelief. (Your name) seemed to be a good person… but he was determined to find something on her. Anything would do.

So he continued to stalk her which brought him to present day…

.

.

.

“Have a good day!” (Your name) smiled at the various homeless people that inhabited the soup kitchen. She served each one with a cheery smile, even if they seemed displeased with her.

Nicalli sat in the corner at a bench. His russet eyes studied her in distaste. Didn’t she tire of this? These people didn’t appreciate her company… no one seemed to despite her constant efforts. Nicalli didn’t understand the point of her unnecessary kindness.

(Your name) was so sweet, she could make teeth rot. A woman like her didn’t belong in a place like this, it was dangerous-

Nicalli jumped when (your name) stood before him, a bowl of soup in her hands.

“Hello?” (Your name) tilted off her head to the side as she studied Nicalli in interest. “I always spot you here, but you never come up to the stand so I thought I’d come to you.”

Shit. He had grown careless since she’s so docile… now she knew his face. Should he just call the mission a done deal?

Nicalli was shocked when she gently placed the bowl in front of him with a soft smile. “Here. Enjoy some soup, okay? You always look so sad…”

Nicalli bit his tongue. No matter how badly he wanted to refuse her, he couldn’t bring himself to. If he rejected her kindness, it would be as if he kicked a puppy. And people do not kick puppies.

Nicalli was surprised that the soup was delicious but then he saw her smile even wider.

“I made the soup, so please enjoy to your heart’s content. If you need anything, I’m (your name)! I’ll see you around, mister!” She then went back to the kitchen while Nicalli sat dumbfounded.

The Hispanic man sat there for a few minutes longer before he felt a blush envelope his cheeks. His heart wildly leapt in his chest and his palms began to sweat buckets. What just happened to him?

There was no way… no way he had a crush on (your name)? Yet he couldn’t help the way his eyes shyly glanced towards her bubbly form while she served the rest of the costumers.

She was a good person… (your name) was a genuinely good person. Nicalli was sure of it. And now he needed to report his findings to the Goldbergs.

.

.

.

It took everything in Nicalli not to choke slam Henry Goldberg into the velvet carpet in his study. This man was a bastard… he didn’t deserve (your name).

“God, I thought you were the best of the best!” Henry sighed while his parents chuckled.

“Now son, I’m sure he’ll find something on that commoner.” Mrs. Goldberg pointed out to her son who scoffed.

“Mommy, at the rate he’s going. He’ll need to make something up!” Henry hummed, the man reached for his check book. “How much money do you need to fabricate a lie on her? I truly cannot marry a commoner, but it looks good for the citizens-“

Nicalli furrowed his brow. What on earth were they on about? “Aren’t you happy she’s a good person?”

Henry and his mother paused before the two of them erupted into laughter. “Happy she’s a good person? No one told us you were a comedian!!”

“How about you plant one of my necklaces or jewels in her home so we have the grounds to annul this engagement? I really cannot have my son end up with a woman so poor like that.” Mrs. Goldberg took off her diamond necklace and tried to hand it to Nicalli but the private investigator pushed it back toward her. “Oh come on. People like you are familiar with stealing, right?”

Nicalli’s head spun in horror and confusion. They were going to frame her to make themselves look better for the people… they were going to frame an innocent woman for a crime. The Goldbergs were horrible people… horrible villains.

“Mother, not all Mexicans are thieves.” Henry rolled his eyes before he gave Nicalli a knowing smile. “But I do need you to pin a crime of some sort on her. I can’t have her have the Goldberg family name.”

Even though Nicalli wanted to scream at the two of them, he must feel himself in. He needed to have evidence to show (your name) to save her. Nicalli wanted to save her… she didn’t deserve to have her name tarnished over corrupt people like these ones.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Nicalli gave the Goldbergs a stiff smile. Yes… he’d contact his sources to dig dirt up on the Goldbergs.

Nicalli didn’t become a private investigator to harm innocent people. Nicalli did this to protect the innocent from heart break.

.

.

.

Nicalli threw his coffe table across the room after his source had called him and faxed him over pictures of Henry Goldberg with escorts. Bastard… that fucking bastard!

Henry had this perfect woman and he cheated on her with escorts?! He was involved in drug and sex slave trafficking?! This was a rabbit hole Nicalli never thought he’d find himself in… and he had to get (your name) out.

A man like that didn’t deserve her… not like he did. Nicalli would treasure a woman like her. He’s pamper her and make sure she was properly pleasured- what the hell was that?!

Nicalli shook his head to clear his thoughts. How dare he think of her in such a way… Nicalli wasn’t worthy of her.

Nicalli’s cheeks flushed in anger. Henry had to suffer. He had to pay for his crimes. The Goldbergs had to pay for their crimes.

Nicalli snatched one of the pictures up before he was able to locate Henry’s location. It would be easy to track him down… Nicalli was all too familiar with the Red Light District.

All he needed to do was figure out which vehicle was his, but that couldn’t be too hard. Henry was a classic spoiled narcissist. His car would be colorful and loud, just like him.

.

.

.

The death of Henry Goldberg was on every news channel and in every article. His shiny red sports car was totaled and the bodies of two escorts were found with him. The cause of death was drunk driving and brake failure.

There was not a doubt in Nicalli’s mind that (your name) would be distraught… but he had to take care of Mrs. Goldberg first.

Nicalli adjusted his black leather gloves on his hands as he slowly approached the Goldberg’s office to discuss further business. The pistol with a silencer attached was buried deep within his coat.

This was all for (your name)‘s future… for their future together. It only made sense to him that he got the girl after saving her! Nicalli could make her happy!

Nicalli would have (your name) right where he wanted her…

.

.

.

(Your name) sniffled in her bed, her body trembled in sorrow. She couldn’t believe Henry died and his mother had committed suicide… she knew Mrs. Goldberg adored her son, but she had no idea it was to such an extent…

Yet she wasn’t surprised about Henry being a deviant. It was why she avoided being physical with him. There was a small voice in the back of her head that told her he was bad news… yet was it wrong for her to want the money to live a good life? She’d never have to worry about bills again if she married him… but then he sent the private investigator her way.

God, it irritated her… but she wasn’t a horrible person. She just wanted a better life was all… was that a crime?

And she always felt unsettled under that man’s gaze. He had such sharp features and such a piercing stare. There was no way people didn’t know he was there when his presence felt like a predator’s.

The man had such a bewitching appearance. Hell, his hair was prettier than hers and his hooked nose was gorgeous… that private investigator was more attractive than her dead white fiancé.

So when she had a package full of photos of Henry with escorts, she knew it was her ‘stalker.’ It was nice to know he had a good moral compass, but these photos were too late. They weren’t anything she wasn’t aware of.

Despite her bubbly attitude, (your name) was not naive. She knew the Goldbergs weren’t good people. No old money family were.

(Your name) sighed as she rose up from her bed and wiped her eyes. There went her plan to be with a man with a trust fund…

(Your name) was surprised to see a bouquet of red roses and carnations on her doorstep. It seemed that private investigator may have a crush.

(Your name) smiled in thought. He was a private investigator for rich people, right? Then maybe he had the money to ensure she had a good life?

She turned her head and spotted the shy man on his car. That classic 1964 Chevrolet impala always stuck out like a sore thumb.

(Your name) wiped her eyes a bit before she gave him a smile. She could spot his red cheeks from her place by her door. It seemed she wouldn’t have to work too hard for this one… because she had him right where she wanted him.

[darlingdaisyfarm]

texting Stan and Ford headcanons

smut version

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Stan Pines

✧ Stan is the kinda guy who thinks emojis are a scam, but somehow, he figured out how to use the "thumbs up" and "money bag" emoji. so, expect a lot of those in your chats.

✧ his text tone is rough, a little misspelled, typed like he's yelling even when he isn’t. Half of his texts are in all caps, and he absolutely does not care about grammar. but he gets the point across, always.

✧ you’re getting messages at 3 am about some ‘brilliant’ scheme to make a quick buck. he’ll send, “LISTEN, doll, what if we made... GIANT… glitter-filled eggs for easter? Tourists'll go NUTS." you reply, half-asleep, with “Stan, ily but go to bed." and all you get back is a “🤬 YOU GOTTA THINK BIGGER!”

✧ Stan sends those weird chain messages he swears are from some “hotshot businessman” that’ll make you rich in a week. and when you don’t respond immediately, you get a: “Fine, Miss Doubtful, see you when I’m rolling in gold.”

✧ there are whole days where he just floods your phone with random, blurry photos of some new Mystery Shack "artifact" he found. It’s usually junk he picked up at a garage sale, like a “haunted” ashtray or some knock-off painting that’s “probably ancient.”

✧ If he’s feeling sappy (and tipsy): you might get a rare “thinking bout you, sweet thing” at 2 am. but if you try to call him on it the next day, he’ll just be like “Didn’t say that. You’re makin’ stuff up.”

✧ when he’s really riled up about something, though? then his messages are just. . . a stream of caps-lock curses, mixed with misspelled attempts to describe whatever nonsense he just got himself into. you just sit back and let him rant; he’ll cool off eventually.

✧ and the voice messages are something else. they sound like he’s talking through a fan half the time. one minute, he’s rambling about how tourists are “the dumbest suckers on the planet” and the next, he’s ranting about how “bigfoot definitely broke into the shack last night!"

types of messages Stan texts: 

"So… whatcha wearin’? 😏"

“Hey doll, I just found a penny on the ground! Maybe today’s my lucky day… hint hint ;)"

"I’d say somethin’ romantic, but I think my brain just shorted out. You’re a little too cute for a guy like me."

"Just tried that new café downtown. Ordered coffee… tastes like they filtered it through someone’s laundry. You’d hate it. Wanna come mock it with me?"

"Not gonna lie, I miss that face of yours. So what’re we doin’ about it, huh?"

“Again missin’ that cute little smile of yours… maybe you could send me a pic to remind me?”

"Wanna help me scam the tourists today? I’ll split the loot with ya… maybe ;)”

"You wouldn’t believe what I caught Ford muttering in his sleep. Man’s like a walking encyclopedia, even when he’s unconscious."

“Got any plans later? Thought maybe we could… y’know… not have plans together."

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Ford Pines 

✧ hehehehe he’s like an old-school emailer who’s just now getting the hang of messaging apps. texts in complete sentences, full punctuation, like he’s drafting a dissertation.

✧ He sends you whole paragraphs at random hours, talking about some discovery he’s made, like he’s reporting directly to NASA. you’re like, “Ford, it's just a weird-looking squirrel." and he's already typing another essay about its "possible interdimensional origins."

✧ once in a while, he’ll send you a message that says, “Are you awake?” at, like 3 am followed by a string of thoughtful yet completely bonkers hypotheses. you find it cute, though, his mind never stops, not even for a second.

✧ If he’s feeling bold, you might even get a “hypothetical” confession out of him: “Hypothetically, if one were to develop... strong emotional attachment to a certain person... how would one proceed?" You tease him about it the next day, and he gets flustered, “It was purely scientific curiosity."

✧ Ford isn’t big on emojis, but he likes the brain and alien ones, using them poetically. he’ll sign off texts with a single brain emoji, like it’s his version of a little goodbye wave.

✧ on really rare occasions, he’ll send a voice message. they’re always way too long, and it’s usually him whispering so he doesn’t wake Stan up. he goes on about cosmic rays or “gravity anomalies,” his voice dropping lower when he gets excited. you live for those moments

✧ and if he ever texts you a “good night,” you just know he’s been up thinking about it for hours, trying to figure out if it’s “appropriate.”

types of messages Ford texts: 

“It’s been approximately 3 hours, 12 minutes, and 23 seconds since our last conversation… not that I’m counting or anything. Just… miss you."

sends a meme about science nerds “Us. But mostly me.”

“My hands ache from writing… though perhaps if it were writing about you, I wouldn’t mind.”

“Do you think about me too, or am I the only one utterly ruined by this… whatever this is?”

“I’ve been thinking about that book you lent me... 🤔 It’s honestly so much more interesting than I expected, thank you for recommending it."

"I don’t know how to work this... But I managed to send a meme! It’s not the worst thing I’ve done, I suppose? 

“I did it. I fixed the telescope. Finally. Now we can actually look at the stars like we’ve talked about. :)"

"I hope you’re feeling okay today. I noticed you seemed a little stressed the other day. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. :) It’s important."

"If I could rearrange the periodic table, I’d put U and I together. :( Sorry, nerdy joke... :’D)”

ps - I CANT THEYRE SO CUTE BOTH I WANT TO SMASH THEM AGAINST THE WALL

lmao if someone wants, i can write some spicy types of chatting with them :)))

[renhanaschewtoy]

Coworkers

FINALLY. I'm so sorry it took so long. All the chaos and junk really got the better of me. I hope y'all like this, I really tried. I can't wait to write more. Strade's Favorite Bartender will be next! 💚 NSFW MDNI

You’d always had a certain fondness for Lawrence you supposed. He was always the quiet guy at work, hesitant to ever really speak or have attention be directed his way. 

And it wasn’t like you’d bulldozed into his life either. 

It had started small, really. He was stronger than he looked and often you both shared shifts. You’d asked him a few times if he could help you move some things, speed up the task and he’d always given a little nod and followed you to do so. 

You wanted to bridge that gap, you bought some tea you kept in your locker, offering it to Lawrence on breaks. At first he just stared at you for a long moment before slowly giving a nod of his head, crystalline eyes directed anywhere but you. And then grabbing the sandwiches or other items from the corner Mart you saw him buy from time to time. You simply wanted Lawrence to feel appreciated in the warehouse. That you were grateful he helped you.

And it turned into routine after a little while.

Sharing breaks, eating together in the silence that was the wee hours of morning before the sun broke. Settled in the stale smelling break room or outside on the bench in the parking lot, side by side. You usually did most of the talking but from time to time, it was exciting to hear Lawrence talk. When he'd mention his plants, the most recent time he went on a trek through the park or on a hike, better was when he’d actually give you his opinion. Even if it was differing. If it weren’t for the occasional stutter or stammer, you’d reckon to say he’d have a rich voice. Dulcet to you, if you dare say so.

You gave him your number, just in case you switched shifts at work or something came up of course! Though that didn’t stop you from sending the occasional message asking how he was doing, or if you shared a shift a “have a good night! Oops, I mean morning!” sort of text. You wanted to endear yourself to Lawrence.

And you had.

You wormed your way under his skin and into his heart like vines of twisting ivy, you made it hard for Lawrence to breathe around you sometimes. The saccharine scent about you that was so alien, so absolutely opposite of damp rot and soil he’d become accustomed to. You were the fragrant bulbs of flowers he tried to nurture and fight the impulse to cut. You were soft, you were succulent in a way Lawrence didn’t understand like the occasional ones he had spotted around his apartment. Visions of you swam in his head at night in his bed, in the fog of his shower. Emboldened by the haze of burnt hash of a blunt that was discarded on the ashtray nearby. Lawrence wondered how you would feel…from the inside. How different you would feel from his hand. Water or lotion made do in a pinch when he’d fist himself to completion, more often than not he would grow frustrated after the clarity hit him.

“huff…huff…nngh…f-fuck…(Name)...” Water cascades down Lawrence’s pale body, head bowed with one hand braced against the cool tile wile the other hand stroked his weeping cock. You brushed up against him on more than one occasion today, he felt the soft warmth of your skin through your clothes, caught a peek of skin when you’d reach up high, Lawrence swore…goddamn it, he could hear the blood in your veins. Your hand brushed against his when you handed him a paper cup of some herbal tea you’d been so proud to prattle about hoping he’d like it. And he’d die before telling you that it was actually too sweet for his taste. But maybe that was you and your influence on the moment. Too sweet. His breathing grew ragged as his glacier eyes screwed shut, trying a slight twist of his wrist as Lawrence fisted his cock; reliving the encounters behind his eyelids.

The warm flush of your cheeks, he wondered how much blood could reach the apples of them…the plush look of your lips that always curled into a little grin, what might they look like swollen from his own pressed to them or his teeth sinking into them? Would your heart hammer in your chest? Or would it be slow and calm? Would you let him touch you? Actually touch you? To crawl inside of you and feel your warmth from the inside, to break your ribs and truly be in your embrace until you were cold and still like he often felt. A grunt passed Lawrence’s lips as he grappled with the thoughts– did he want that? No…no, he didn’t think he did. Lawrence wanted to savor you if he was ever presented the opportunity. You’d feel different. You were different. His mind rewound and pulled forward like a video on a loop, searching for just the thing to focus on. That breathless face you made after exerting yourself, the way your breathing drew a little rough and you tried to chuckle through, the way your (color) eyes would look up at him so gratefully in a way only you ever looked at him.

“Hhngh…haah…(N-Name)...” Lawrence choked your name from his throat as a shudder ripped down his spine, hips jerking erratically in a rhythm that grew sloppy before pearly, viscous cum splurted forward, coating his hand and dropping into the water to disappear down the drain. The smell of stale, foggy air and eucalyptus as the evidence of his mild perversion disappeared from sight. Maybe that’s why it was always easier in the shower. His panting eventually subsided into just one heavy sigh, the heaviness left him and again the frustration followed.

It wasn’t the same.

It wasn’t you.

Maybe Lawrence was getting greedy. Not that he could ever act on it. It always made him seize up worse when you were just looking at him with those eyes of yours. So patient for whatever he may say or do. It was maddening that he let it get this far. That you somehow had sunk so deeply into him instead that keeping you was now a regular rotation in his fantasy. That fire fed and fanned by content he consumed on the internet. But there was always just a slight pause on maybe trying such on you. Maybe. Exhaling through his nose, Lawrence turns off the water and steps out of the shower. His brow is deep set in thought as he lazily towels off his pallid skin and blonde hair that falls over his shoulders limply still damp.

Dressing for bed, Lawrence dares to glance at his phone- he never gets notifications. Not really. Just from you. And today must be one of those nights that the stars just align, one message from you.

(Name): “Hey!! I have some news tomorrow!”

Lawrence’s brows furrow and lips press in a thin line, he’s not sure how to reply. If he should. But he wants to.

Lawrence: Okay.

Like most or any social interaction- not his best work. Not that you cared. It never stopped you at all or caught you off. Most might find him brusque and socially awkward, which wasn’t untrue. Lawrence doesn’t linger on the thoughts of what it could possibly be, it could be anything with you; infinitely more optimistic than himself. You found the silver linings in most things, took joy in the small victories or whathaveyou. Something he would possibly find overwhelming or even annoying but you seemed to broach him a way just so that it never…felt that way. Lawrence didn’t want to keep you at an arms length like he had the first handful of shifts where he’d nearly tried to avoid you. And now he craved you. You were sunlight, warm and necessary. You were nourishment Lawrence didn’t believe he needed. He was starved in ways that didn’t make sense.

Tugging on old, worn sweatpants, Lawrence crawls into his bed and tries to settle in and stares at the ceiling for a while before his breathing lulls into sleep. 

The next day, the next shift. Stars litter the sky and the moon hangs along them. The streets are mostly dead, the silent stillness of the parking lot of the warehouse is usually comforting but there’s an odd looming sense regarding your news and Lawrence doesn’t know why. Why his stomach turns and twists so strangely when he sees you eagerly wave him over as he pushes the heavy door open after a swipe from his employee badge.

“Hey, Law!” you greet, warmly as ever- you were probably the only one who forced themself to adapt to the lifestyle of working this shift and still function. Or function better than most of the other workers here. Granted it made sense to Lawrence, it was what he preferred though it never showed.

Lawrence gives a low hum of acknowledgement you had grown accustomed to as you met him halfway to walk to the lockers together. “You…mentioned you had news…?” After spinning the dial on his lock, those piercing baby blues turned to you, seeming to perk up at his voice addressing you.

You bite your lip in that way that makes him wish he could be one of your teeth. To feel the plush skin under pressure. Lawrence blinks before turning his focus back to your eyes. “Yeah! Yeah, I finally got a grown up job, heh…” You run a hand through your (length) (color) (type) hair, your grin faltering to something almost akin to nervousness or anxiety. Because all Lawrence can do is stare at you with a blank, unreadable expression. The silence hangs over heavy as you scuff your shoe on the floor.

“... you're quitting…?” It feels like he's choking it out but if he did, you didn't seem to notice. And he's grateful for it.

“Well, yeah, I mean…I gave my two weeks. It's just…I can't work here forever. It doesn't pay enough and I'm not exactly cut out for it long term.” You admit with a little bob of your head, glancing around the warehouse stacked with pallets and equipment. And it was true if Lawrence was being honest, you weren't as strong to continue this sort of labor for long without it doing something to your musculature or God forbid your beautiful bones. It was bad enough when you bruised.

“...oh.” There's an odd sort of thrum in his chest he can't discern, a tension that settles tight in too many places for his liking. Your sharp eyes seem to snap to him at the monosyllabic reply and soften. That look. Not of pity, just soft.

“But we can still text! Or meet up on off days! I'd like to check out that trail sometime, if you'd be down?” You're quick, so quick, to offer him the modicum of comfort. That you somehow, some way, want to be around him even when no longer coworkers. You were so odd. But it wasn't unwelcome. “But uh…I was gonna throw a little party. At my place with people from our shift. If you wanted to come.”

Lawrence raises a brow at that, it isn't a “no” (it would be for anyone else)but it's more of that confusion. He didn't do parties. He didn't do other people. Crowded spaces. Not without some sort of necessity or incentive tied to it. His pause seems to make you fidget. “I know it's not your thing, so don't feel you have to or anything. But it would really nice to have you there.” You uplilt your word with that hopeful tone.

He shifts on his feet, his eyes unable to hold your gaze. Honestly? He doesn't want to. He really doesn't want to. Lawrence shifts on his feet a little as if still chewing all of the information over. He didn't like any of it. Most of all your leaving. Your absence would be felt so deeply. Lawrence felt like had something, had someone, even on the humdrum shifts you shared. Be it normalcy, warmth, Lawrence didn't know. But he wasn't about to let it go. Let you go. He couldnt. You might be vines constricting around him, but Lawrence could be all the thistles, barbs, and thorns in the world of it kept you ensnared to him.

Sometimes the stars just aligned like that.

“But, like I said- I know it's not…”

“I'll come.”

You blink up at Lawrence, surprise stark on your face for just a moment at his definitive tone. It lingers before your lips curl into a toothy grin making his heart thud against his ribs. “Yeah? That's great. Really great.” You pull out your phone and tap on it few times before a buzzing comes from his pocket. “That's my address, it starts at seven but y'know…it's a party so show up whenever.” You shrug casually.

Lawrence glances to the side, racking his brain for a moment, thinking of what next, of what to do when he gets there- nevermind that it's days away. “Alright! Well, let's go kick this shift in the teeth!” You chime, clapping your hands together and wandering off to whatever task you were assigned and Lawrence slowly trailing after you.

×××

Relationships were complicated. People were complicated. Well…living people were complicated anyway. For the briefest moment Lawrence thinks back to his family, people that meant little to him in the grand scheme of things but whether he liked it or not was part of his building blocks. At least a little.Which brought a vague memory of a muffled voice from childhood, “We can’t go to a dinner party empty handed.” A few hours before Lawrence decided he would make his appearance, he stopped at the liquor store on the corner to bring a bottle of…fuck. What did you even like?? All you drank when you were together was whatever was at the vending machines, the convenience store, or tea. Lawrence stood near the door of the shop- bottles lined all over the shelves and walls. Advertisements of several brand plastered all over in bright colors or neons.

Augh.

Eventually Lawrence meanders over to the wine section, staring at the bottles blankly, drifting from label to label. White wine? Red wine? If you would even drink it. Dry? Semi? Sweet? It was alcohol for fuck’s sake, why did it have to be so complicated. With a shake of his head, frustration beginning to simmer in the pit of his stomach, Lawrence swipes a bottle of sweet red with a delicate looking label adorned in little gilded flowers. Maybe even if you didn’t like it, you would think it’s pretty. Or maybe you’d think he was weird, like most other people– no…no, that wasn’t true. It was you. None of his antisocial tendencies seemed to deter you or bother you, opposite; you’d been nothing but accommodating and patient with Lawrence.

Keeping his head down, Lawrence shoves a few bills at the unbothered clerk who bothers to spare him a second glance before he begins the trek to where your apartment is supposed to be. Gingerly stepping through the building, Lawrence lingers in the hallway probably a beat longer than necessary before rapping his knuckles against the door. His palms are sweaty as he cradles the bottle of wine and waits…and waits…he can hear the thrum of bass through the door, music playing paired with a few voices…by the sound of it, not to many people (thankfully) or so he hoped. Just as he debated leaving and tossing away any hopeful ideations, the door is abruptly pulled open to reveal you. In more casual clothes. A warm flush blooms beautifully over your cheeks that has his breath hitch ever so slightly.

“Law! Oh man, I was beginning to worry you weren’t gonna show up!” You lilt, posture so much more relaxed and…oh. Lawrence spies the red plastic cup in your hand, of course. It was a party. People drank. He brought a bottle that he’d almost forgotten about seeing you the way you were. The drunk blush on your cheeks looked ever so enticing. “C’mon, c’mon in!” You usher him in warmly and he can take in your apartment. Posters decorate the walls, well loved furniture, a small cozy kitchen…that same sweetened perfume that was so uniquely you seemed to seep into the very walls. Lawrence shuffles inside, keeping his eyes down, only sparing glances to the other coworkers mingling around your place. Some chatting, some playing video games you had set up on your television, others bobbing a little to the music.

Lawrence’s hands tighten around the bottle before looking up to you and awkwardly thrusting it towards you. “I…I didn’t know what to bring…If I should bring anything.” He admits, biting the inside of his cheek as you blink and accept it, looking it over.

“Huh? That’s real sweet of you, thanks Law! Wine, huh? Fancy. I’ve never really tried it.” You inspect it, but keep it carefully tucked in the crook of your arm, though before Lawrence can feel embarrassed about his actions you give a mischievous grin. “You’ll have to come over again and maybe try it with me, huh? Can’t drink alone.” You chime warmly before disappearing only briefly to tuck it safely in the kitchen so nobody thinks to open it. Something for just the two of you…it ignites a spark of hope that he allows himself to buoy on for comfort now that he’s vastly out of his element. You poke your head out of the kitchen, “You want something to drink? I can mix you something or uh…I’ve got water, soda, juice…” Lawrence takes the opportunity to follow you and the variety of beverages and snacks. 

Opting for water, Lawrence takes up post along one of your walls, simply watching you and everyone else. Time ticks on as his hands worry the label of the water bottle to shreds. The music feels too loud, he can feel the bass in his bones. Nobody but you really wants to talk to him, he’s spared a nod of acknowledgement or a brief greeting but nothing more- if anything people seem surprised to see him here at all. Lawrence swallows thickly and glances to the clock and moves to stand up and you seemingly appear out of nowhere. Your eyes seem to trace over his features, lingering on his face for a beat before you do that wonderful thing you do. Soften up. Relax. “Hey...I know this isn’t really your scene. It can probably be a lot huh? Here…my room is quieter, you can chill there for a bit maybe? Kinda decompress? I really…hah…I really don’t want you to go yet…if that’s okay?” The alcohol has you emboldened, your lips a little looser, your thoughts more apt to slip between them.

And a strange warmth is surging through his veins, he feels it in his own cheeks, feels his fingers twitch slightly before Lawrence finds himself nodding. Your hand slips in his smoothly, gently- and he’s tempted to flinch but instead he squeezes, carefully. True to your words, your room is notably quieter than the living room, the length of hallway giving a decent berth. You settle on your bed with a dramatic sigh and Lawrence almost shyly sits beside you, hands in his lap. “...I’m glad you came.” You admit as you fall onto your back on your duvet and tilt your head to look up at him. “Is it greedy I wanted to keep you a little longer? Just to myself?”

It’s not greedy.

You’re not greedy.

You’re perfect.

Lawrence swallows thickly, your words reverberating in his skull, echoing his same thoughts. You wanted what he wanted. He could only hope anyway but you said what he was thinking aloud. You made it real. You were real. “N-No..No I don’t think that about you.” Lawrence manages to mutter out and it makes that smile grow wider on your lips. Your hand reaches for his again, delicately, as your fingers trace his knuckles. 

“We could hangout more often, y’know. I meant it when I said I still wanted to see you even after I’m outta there.”

He doesn’t know what to say. Nobody’s ever wanted to hang out around him, much less. Well beside that one friend he made online who seemed down to maybe talk in person. But they weren’t you. Nobody compared to you. The silence hangs for a moment but in the soft lighting of your room, your eyes roam over his face again before you push yourself to sit up again, shuffling a little closer to him that Lawrence can feel the warmth of your body next to his. “...is it okay if I…” You dip your head slightly, lashes fluttering to make a point of looking down at his lips before meeting his gaze again. Just barely, Lawrence shakes his head before you give a breathy little chuckle and press your lips to his, a hand raising to cradle his jawline. The light stubble there is felt against the soft, smooth skin of your palm. Your lips are plush and sweetened by whatever alcohol you’d been drinking before, slightly sticky and sweet that Lawrence savors before clumsily kissing you back. Pushing back against you perhaps with an eagerness you hadn’t anticipated that draws a soft sound from your throat. Lawrence swallows down your groan, wanting more, feel you more, taste you more, feel all that livelihood that seems to emanate from you.

The kiss grows, heat building as your arms string around his neck and hands tangle in his blonde hair as it falls messily from its elastic. Lawrence leans, arms circling around your waist, a soft grunt muffled against your lips as he dares to deepen the kiss, tongue tracing your lower lip before being granted. Being able to explore inside of your mouth before pressing you down into the mattress. He can feel every breath you take, the expanding and compression of your chest, the way your heart thrums against your chest- Lawrence swears he can hear your heartbeat. Or maybe it’s his own pounding in his hears. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is more. More. 

And you seem of the same mind. Your hands drift down to his hoodie, moving to push it off his shoulders and Lawrence awkwardly shrugs out of it, loathe to part from your lips even to breathe. With you on your back, his hands take the opportunity to roam, albeit shakily. Taking in every curve, noting the muscle and fat on your body- soft under his larger hands and so very warm. Lawrence could get lost in you endlessly. He wanted to. Parting only for a moment, his breathing ragged, you seem to waste no time as you greedily take in air while yanking your shirt up and over your head and reaching for the buttons of his plaid shirt. It isn’t long between the two of you, clumsy hands- some from alcohol and others from lack of real heated experience, before clothes are strewn over your floor and you and Lawrence are a tangle of limbs on your bed. His body cages you in, body anchored to you as he savors each sensation, each beautiful sound he’s able to pull from your lips, feeling the way your body moves and the way it works against his own. Lawrence reminds himself to be affectionate, what he was taught affection is supposed to look like through media consumption anyway, though with you it’s easier. It’s so lovely to kiss along your neck, feel you gasp and shudder, to feel your pulse flutter under his lips. “...feels…fuck…so good…” he groans lowly against your skin.

Lawrence can almost picture the expression on your face as you give a chime of laughter and dare to roll your hips against his own, feeling his erection straining against the cotton of his boxers in a very obvious tent. “It can feel better…I can make you feel better…” You croon softly and that’s the snap that breaks him. Pulling away so abruptly you look up at him owlishly, he shoves his boxers down his pale thighs, impulse and need overriding most if not all thought in this moment. The desperation that burned through Lawrence to feel you from the inside.You lift your hips accordingly as he paws at your underwear before they slip down your legs and carelessly discarded with everything else. Bare before each other, there’s the briefest moment between the way the two of you have been interlocked, drinking the other one in. Before Lawrence’s hands grip the meat of your hips and tugs you closer with a strength you usually thought was reserved for the warehouse, not that you minded. The feeling of his fingers digging into your skin, you certainly wouldn’t mind a little bruising if not more come morning.

“Just…Just stay still…Just let me…” He pants, his eyes clouded and glazed over, transfixed as he mumbles almost to himself and you arch your back just so to give him a better angle as one hand releases you to line his aching cock up to your sweet entrance.First he notches the bulbous head in and groans, chest heaving with every breath as you bite your lip with a soft whine- spurning him on, urging him to just push. And so he does, inch by inch, Lawrence spears you on his length and his eyes threaten to roll back into his skull. You feel divine; tight, wet, impossibly warm around him as you clench like a vice that his his hips already stutter the first time within you. Sweat already begins to bead his forehead as Lawrence’s jaw clenches- as tempting as it is, he couldn’t bear the embarrassment if he came undone within you so quickly. 

You keen below him, hushed little murmur of, “Please…fuck, Law…need you, please.” While resting your hands on his shoulders with a little squeeze, you don’t mean to rush him, really you don’t- but you’d wanted this, thought about this, more times than you cared to count. And with a little liquid courage in your veins, you finally fucking had it. Had him.

And surely, he begins to rock his hips. The push and pull between you growing as Lawrence begins to rut within you, rhythm building and pressure mounting as you buck your hips in kind, pushing him deeper until his cockhead nudged against that delicious spot within you that made your lashes flutter and moans spill from your lips. Ordinarily, Lawrence wasn’t one for much noise- but the music muffled anything beyond your door and these sounds were for him and him alone. Shouldering your legs over his shoulders, Lawrence picks up his pace and his hips snap against you, heavy balls wetly slapping against your ass that has you squeak until you relax some in his grip. It leaves you helpless, putty as he fucks you into the mattress with reckless abandon now- your headboard knocking against the wall with each brutal thrust as he moans and grunts above you. While the sight of your is ever enticing, something Lawrence wants to burn into the folds of his brain, the need to feel close to you wins as he hunches over, nearly folding you in two. Hands bracing on the bed as he buries his face in the crux of your neck and shoulder as he kisses along the skin, breathing hotly into your ear as he continues to pump his cock into you. “...close…so…need to feel you…so warm…so fucking good…” Lawrence babbles to you, drunk on the euphoria as he feels pleasure coil hot in his stomach, on the brink.

So close.

So close.

So close.

“L-Law…’m not…a-ah, oh fuck…!” You gasp and choke on your words as you’re pinned below him, bliss drawn over your flushed features as your brain struggles to send words to your mouth, “...’m not gonna last...just like that, like that…!” You encourage as he surges with renewed vigor. Lawrence wants, no, needs to feel you come undone around. What you feel like when overcome with pleasure, what you look like, all of it. He grits his teeth before finding better use for his mouth, latching onto your throat to suckle a deep mottled mark into your skin that has you nearly scream into the room before he claps a hand over your lips to muffle it as he feels you contract around him. Convulsing, throbbing, spasming all around him in a way that Lawrence shuddering as his engorged cock finally empties itself within you, the excess forming a creamy ring around the base of his shaft and dripping down the plush swell of your ass onto the duvet. Ragged huffs fan over the hickey now left into your skin as Lawrence gives a few more languid, shallow strokes to enjoy the lingering feeling of you tightly wrapped around him as you try to catch your breath with a few low sounds of complacency. Sated, Lawrence almost begrudgingly lowers your legs carefully and his piercing eyes look up at you- trying to gage if you might be disappointed or upset, but instead is met with a bleary, satisfied smile and a breathy chuckle.

“...fuck, Law. I knew you had in you.” You mutter playfully before resting your arm over your sweaty forehead and Lawrence can feel his lips quirk ever so slightly. Something akin to pride settling in him slightly, but he remains knelt between your legs as a silence settles over the pair of you and you raise your arm to peek at him. Wordlessly, you pat shift and shuffle, peeling back the blankets and patting the spot next to you.

“But…your party…?”

“I’m pretty sure people heard and I’m pretty sure they didn’t. What’re they gonna do? Rob me? I don’t have shit.” You chuckle, though Lawrence seems to give pause and glance to the door. His reluctance seems to sober you some as you sit up slightly. “Uh…unless you wanted to go.” You try to keep your tone steady not to betray the tinge of hurt that creeps in all the same.

“No…! No, that’s not what I want…uhm…” Lawrence awkwardly scoots off your bed and grabs his boxers to tug on padding to your door and opening it a crack, peeking and listening for any other life in your apartment. The music had since stopped and it was still silence.With the knowledge your apartment is now empty, Lawrence locks your door for you before returning into bed and you just smile. The simplest thing, as if this was normal. Maybe it was, Lawrence sure as fuck didn’t know what that was, but this was nice. This was beautiful. You were beautiful.

Slowly, he moves to the other side of the bed and slides in beside you. Lawrence has not slept next to another person, honestly it was never something he thought he would like but it feels like it’s both what you want and what is expected. And frankly- it could be worse. “...Can I…?” He shuffles under the blankets, swathed in your detergent and perfume, his frame shifts over yours and his head presses to your chest where he can hear the steady beat of your heart. The intrusive thought rings in through his head that he could have it, have that piece of you forever. Sealing this moment forever between the two of you...but he pushes it to the back of his head. No, another part of him didn’t want that- as tempting as it may be. If he took that part of you, this wouldn’t be possible. And Lawrence wanted this, whatever this may be, and more of it. More of you. Sex. Intimacy. The touch and warmth of another living being. It was odd, it was still something Lawrence was trying to make sense of. A way that this could remain but you might still be wholly his. All his. Only his.

Lawrence’s reverie is broken only by your arms encircling him and hugging him close to you, one hand carding through his hair to keep his head pressed to your chest as you hum in contentment. “Night, Law.” You mutter with an affectionate kiss to his head as you reach an arm out to turn off your lamp and succumb to sleep. Lawrence lingered awake a while longer, his nocturnal nature something he was grateful for as he relished in the soft breaths while you slept, how your heart slows, the sweet silence as he curls around your body and eventually, an hour or so after observing you, Lawrence sleeps as well.

Eventually sunlight dapples through your blinds, making Lawrence crinkle his nose slightly- he wasn’t accustomed to this. Not that he slept poorly necessarily, but it would take a day or so to get his circadian rhythm back. But it hadn’t been a waste as you groggily rouse beside him with a sleepy smile. “...Hey.” You greet warmly, throat still raspy from sleep as you push some of his bangs from his face. “You sleep okay?” Lawrence nods slowly, drinking in this vulnerable vision of you as you yawn and roll to look at him on your pillow. “You want breakfast or something?” You offer up with that languid smile and something akin to adoration lingering in your eyes, the afterglow looked all the more prepossessing on you. “I have some of that tea still that I brought you a few days ago.”

He pushes up to sit and chews his lip for a moment. Maybe a part of Lawrence had hoped. Had known. “Uh…actually I, uh…I brought some tea for you. I can make us some.” He replies slowly, shifting his gaze to look at you, testing your reaction, if you would find it odd that he brought something besides the wine.

“Aw! Yeah, I’d love that.” You grin and sit up as well, moving to tug fresh underwear on and a large shirt, “You know where the kitchen is, the kettle is on the stove. I’m just gonna freshen up quick.” And with that you disappear into the bathroom while Lawrence prepares you his own specialty brew. 

[luveline]

Hi hi could we please get shy!reader with Sirius where she’s just absolutely exhausted and wants him to brush her hair for her after she gets out of the shower? Love u xx

thank you for your request! sirius x shy!fem!reader | 1k

You can barely get dressed after your shower, the heat of the bathroom having lulled you into a near comatose state. You drag your soft cotton trousers up the length of your tacky legs, fighting to pull the waistband over your stomach. You almost fall, body listing naturally to the side, but save yourself with a tired arm. 

"You're taking ages." 

You smile at the sound of Sirius' light teasing. 

"I'm almost done." 

"Good. My lap is feeling much too empty today." 

He's delusional if he thinks you're going to sit in his lap. You rub at the ends of your hair with your towel and breathe in the creamy smell of your conditioner, tilting your head to the side to peek at your boyfriend where he sits near the open bedroom window. He's smoking. 

He snuffs out the cigarette in his little ashtray and covers it with a clinking lid to hide the smell. He looks up, and you know from the settled, unsurprised laxness of his eyes and lips that he'd known you were there the whole time. He'd let you watch him, and now he watches you. 

"I gotta tell you something," he says, wiping at the tip of his fingers, his only tell. Whatever it is he's going to say, it's gonna fluster you. Sure enough, he continues, "Every time you get out of the shower with wet hair I feel like it's the first time I'm seeing you." 

"Do I look alien?" you ask, secretly worried. 

"You look stunning, but that's not the point." 

Charmed, you move to the end of the bed and climb over the sheets on knees, pyjama trousers riding up your calves. Sirius meets you where you're sitting, angling himself adjacent, and tugs them down absentmindedly. 

"I don't know. I just love the way you look when you have wet hair, and," —he inclines his head like you're telling secrets— "when you're tired." 

"I'm not tired," you fib. 

"I believe you." 

He obviously doesn't. You're both liars smiling at one another, waiting for the other to break. You look away first, dropping the damp towel from your hair into your lap. Your shoulders rise unbidden, your reluctance clear even when you haven't spoken it aloud. You don't want to finish getting ready for bed. 

Sirius hasn't touched you yet, but he will. His hand closes around your ankle, climbing up under the trousers he'd only just corrected. You melt veritably.

"Will you brush my hair?" you ask, closing your eyes. 

"Yeah," he says. "Course." 

The nightstand drawer opens, wheels running over tracks. You listen to him fish out your hairbrush and some softener, and your skin practically burns as he settles behind you. He pulls you toward him with gentle but undeniably strong hands, his forearm lingering where it presses against your ribcage. 

"I knew you'd end up in my lap," he says. 

You smile despite yourself and cover his hand with your own. His fingers are long and deft beneath yours. 

After a quiet moment of this he pulls away and starts to brush your hair. He makes it a long process with how softly he goes, never once tugging at tangles. He rubs product in your hair, wipes his hands quickly on the towel, and then brushes it through. He perseveres until every strand of hair is brushed, soft and still damp. You meant to talk to him as he went, ask him how his day was, but the feeling of his hands on your neck, your shoulders, the bristles of the brush against your scalp, and the heat and steadiness of him behind you — Sirius is a quiet safety. 

"How's that?" he asks in a murmur. 

"Thank you." 

"You haven't looked yet." 

"Do I need to look?" you ask, turning into him just a smidge. 

Sirius takes the hint, setting the brush aside so he can accommodate your weight. He drops his face into your shoulder with a groan. 

"Yeah," he says. He kisses your shoulder gently. "I've made a right mess of it. But a bird's nest is with the times. I mean, look at James." 

You laugh. You're in a skewed position; you don't want to climb completely into his lap, so you twist as much as you can and hug him until he hugs you back. 

"You're not nice to James considering how much you love him. I hate to think of what you say about me when I'm not around." 

"I say worse." 

"I knew it."

"Much worse." He pets your hair. 

You know he's joking. James had texted you once to ask if your ears were burning, because Sirius had been 'waxing lyrical about the shade of your eyes for the last five minutes', and no offence or anything but James already has a sensitive stomach.

Sirius is lovely. He sings your praises and he brushes your hair and he holds you as he holds you now, like it's the only thing he's ever wanted to do. 

"Thanks for brushing my hair," you murmur.

He pulls away from you enough to see your face, tucking a silken strand behind your ear. 

"You're welcome. I knew you were tired. You had a long day, sweetheart." 

"I did, but… it feels worth it." 

"Yeah?" Sirius asks, a familiar smugness creeping into his tone. 

You shrink at the sound. Not because you don't like it, the opposite, and you both know it. He can get you exactly where he wants you with one word. 

He laughs as you slide your face back into his neck. 

"Be nice," you say. 

"I'll try. No promises." 

[heartfullofleeches]

I was looking up alien/ufo themed bongs again bc I wanted to draw Alien with one and I'm crying over what might be the cutest/goofiest ashtray I've ever seen.

Stoner Reader: You got an ashtray on you, AL?

Alien: Always.

And they just pull this thing out of their pocket.

[lithium80writer]

I’m with the Band (Eddie Munson one shots)

⚠️ Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, smutty smut, Eddie eatin some ass... I won't apologize. 🫣

High On You

"This place is so nice.. fuck, come feel this comforter, baby." Eddie moans as he sprawls out on the hotel bed.

You giggle as you set down your suitcase and run to him tackling him into the fluffy blanket.

"Oh yeah, we're never leaving." he smiles, his hands immediately gripping your waist, holding you close to him.

"Two nights, Eds. We only have two nights." you pout, looking down into his deep brown eyes.

Two nights until you had to move on to the next stop of the tour, another new place, new faces, barely any time alone.

"I know, sweetheart. I know.." Eddie replies softly, his hands mindlessly rubbing up and down your legs as you straddle his lap.

"But tonight, we can stay in. Nothing but you, me, and a fat joint." he wiggles his eyebrows, making a smile appear on your face.

"That sounds almost perfect." you tease and he looks at you curiously.

"Almost?"

"Mhmm... you forgot the part where you make me scream your name all night.." you purr, watching Eddie's lips curl into a smile.

"Well that's just a given, baby." he smacks your ass playfully before flipping you over, his body pressing you into the mattress as you wrap your legs around his waist.

"I love you," you whisper against his lips.

"I love you, y/n."

*******

"What the fuck are you talking about?" you laugh as Eddie glares at you. Smoke hangs heavily in the air as you pass the joint back and forth. The curtains are drawn, the lights down low, the radio playing softly in the background. The perfect night to hide away from the outside world and just be with each other.

"I'm saying that I don't think anyone really landed on the moon, man. I think it was fake.. like some kind of distraction.." Eddie repeats for the fifth time, his face dead serious.

"You're so high." you burst out laughing and he groans tossing his head back into the pillow.

"You'll see... you just wait.." he sighs, staring up at the ceiling. You roll over on top of him and see his eyes narrowed.

"I believe you, baby," you say, fighting back a smile.

"You're so mean." he pouts up at you, his eyelids hanging low, his gaze glossy from the weed.

"What about aliens?" you tease him, making him roll his eyes before he pinches your side, causing you to squirm.

"You think you're funny.." he grumbles, but his hands contradict his grumpy attitude as they begin to roam across your body. You lean over, snubbing the joint out in the ashtray as Eddie's ringed fingers grope your ass.

You lean back over and bring your lips to his neck, planting slow kisses up and down. He moans loudly as you swirl your tongue around his ear, biting down on his earlobe, and tugging gently.

Your mind is calm and relaxed, the high making you feel incredible, warm, and really fucking horny.

You run your hand down his chest slowly as your lips lock onto his neck sucking harshly. You hear a rumble come from his chest as your hand slips into his sweats and meets his cock, stroking slowly.

You feel his member growing harder and harder beneath your touch.

"I want you in my mouth, Eds." you purr in his ear and he lets out a breathless chuckle.

"Please." he rasps. You crawl down, placing yourself between his legs, quickly pulling his sweats down, his cock slapping against his stomach. You immediately take him into your mouth, your tongue swirling around his thick member.

"Fuck y/n.. goddamn baby.." his voice is slow and smooth as his brown eyes remain locked on you.

You moan onto his cock, slurping and sucking, making his hips jolt upwards as his ringed fingers grasp onto the sheets.

"Sh-shit.." he stammers, his hips starting to lift again and again, driving his cock deeper. You slide your mouth off of him making him whimper before you position yourself on your hands and knees.

"Fuck my throat, Eddie."

"I fucking love you.." he groans deeply, kneeling on the bed.

He leans in kissing you once before his lips meet your ear.

"Are you sure you can take it, hmm?" he taunts, his tone dark.

"Yes, Eddie." you nod, feeling his lips against your cheek.

"I don't want to be easy.." he admits lowly, his lips still traveling across your cheek.

"Don't be. I can take it, baby." you moan as he suddenly takes your nipple in his fingers, twisting gently.

He sits back up and you watch him take his hard cock in his hands, stroking slowly. You open your mouth, tongue out flat, waiting for him to use you.

Eddie's glazed eyes bore into yours as he brings his tip to your tongue. He guides himself inside, your eyes almost instantly filling with tears as he pushes further into your throat.

One of his hands cups your cheek, and the other pulls your hair back, giving him a better view as he begins to thrust deep. You gag on his cock as his hips roll faster.

"Look at you." he praises, his grip tightening on your hair. You blink away tears as he continues to fuck your throat.

"You like that? Hmm.. You like sucking my dick?" Eddie burns, his arrogant attitude making you want to please him even more.

You nod and moan as he begins pressing your head down on his cock over and over.

"Good girl. Fuck, you're such a good girl." he pants as you deep-throat him.

You speed up, gagging and spluttering, spit seeping from the sides of your mouth. You can feel your throat beginning to get sore from his rough thrusts. But you loved when he used you for his pleasure. And he always returned the favor.

"I'm gonna cum, baby, don't stop.." Eddie pleads, his eyes shutting as his head falls back. You reach out, taking his cock in your hand as you stroke fast, continuing to suck, using your hand and mouth to bring him to his peak.

"Mmm. Oh shit... F-fuck.." he mumbles deeply as you taste his release on your tongue, his cock twitching as he cums. You swallow his cum as it sprays into your mouth in spurts, your eyes glued to his perfect face, watching as his lips part and his eyelids flutter rapidly.

"Fucking hell.." he chuckles breathlessly as you get up on your knees, inching closer to him.

His arm wraps around your lower back, pulling you flush against him as his lips crash into yours. You taste the weed as his tongue swirls delicately with yours. He kisses you tenderly, a complete contrast to his rough movements just moments ago.

He swiftly removes your t-shirt, his eyes roaming your body lustfully.

"Lay down, baby," he murmurs, his lips resting lightly on yours. You smile, lying back on the bed, your body shivering from the anticipation of what's to come.

You feel tingly all over from your high. Every touch makes your eyes fall shut as Eddie begins exploring your body with his lips.

He takes his time, slow kisses from your ankle all the way up to your hip bone.

"You're so perfect." he mumbles in between kisses, his lips soft and warm against your skin. He begins to suck harshly, littering your body with marks. His hands caress your curves, admiring every part of you as he sinks his teeth into you, leaving a trail of love bites in his wake.

Your skin is set ablaze with every graze of his fingertips, each flick of his tongue, every nip of his teeth.

Soft moans and the sounds of Eddie's lips on you are all that can be heard as he continues exploring your body meticulously. Your eyes hang low, your high adding even more pleasure. He yanks your panties down to your ankles and you kick them off with a giggle.

"I love every inch of your body, y/n.. So beautiful.. So fucking delicious.." he drawls just before his lips meet your warmth.

"Baby..." you let out a blissful sigh as he runs his tongue up and down your slit. He teases you, removing his tongue a second later, kissing the insides of your thighs, across your wet lips, shifting lower.

"Eddie.." you gasp, suddenly feeling his tongue in places he's never touched before. He licks a long strip, flattening his tongue, making you moan, your fingers clutching the sheets tightly.

Taking note of your reaction, he takes hold of your ass, spreading your cheeks, delving deeper with his tongue.

"Oh fuck..." you moan desperately as he starts kissing and sucking your ass, an entirely new sensation making your pussy dripping wet.

"Eddie, shit.." you breathe as he comes up from between your legs, his eyes full of lust.

"Get on your knees for me, baby," he demands, and you nod adamantly, flipping over to your stomach as Eddie grips your hips, pulling your ass in the air.

Your face presses into the sheets as he resumes his position behind you.

You struggle to form any words or thoughts as he swirls his tongue inside of you. You spread your legs wider, craving more of this unfamiliar feeling. It feels so good, so dirty, and fucking mind-blowing all at once.

He moans into you as he brings one hand to your pussy, slowly gliding his fingers through your folds as his tongue continues exploring your other hole.

"Holy shit.." you mumble into the sheets as his tongue dips into you again, his fingers begin thrusting in and out, your slickness coating them entirely. Your eyes fall shut as he starts fucking you with his tongue.

"Ohh my god..." you let out a soft moan, his tongue slowly pressing deeper into your asshole as his fingers continue their motion, making your eyes flutter.

"More.." you whimper and you suddenly feel the loss of his tongue as he leans down to whisper in your ear.

"You're a dirty girl, y/n. Aren't you?" he hums deeply, his fingers still moving in and out of your warmth.

"Yes.." you whisper and he chuckles against your ear.

"You like that? Hmmm.. You like when I eat your ass?" he teases, his tone deep and raspy.

"Y-yes..." you murmur, your cheeks blushing profusely.

"Fuck, sweetheart... you're such a bad girl," he mutters, his voice sounds drunk with pleasure as his lips come to your ear once before moving down your back. Slow, wet kisses all the way down until he meets your lower back, shifting back down to your backside where he bites down, his teeth sinking in, causing you to cry out in pleasure.

Then he's back between your cheeks, no hesitation as his tongue swirls and flicks sending shockwaves throughout your body. His fingers dig into your skin as his lips continue sucking and moving wildly making your breathing increase, your moans getting louder and louder.

"Eddiee.. fuck.. Eddie..."

His name falls from your lips again and again. He spreads your legs, your knees sinking deeper into the mattress, giving him a better angle as he glides his tongue in and out, fingering your pussy at the same time.

Your back arches even more as you press yourself into him, his tongue moving at an insane pace, his fingers fucking you roughly.

"Make me cum.. Eddie, please. I need you." you mumble drunkenly.

Eddie moans hungrily, flipping you to your back once more, meeting your eyes.

"You're my little freak, aren't you?" he hums, his lips curled into a smirk.

"Yes.." you whimper desperately.

"So fucking wet..." he plunges his fingers into you, curling them with perfection, making your mouth fall open with a squeak.

"Fucking soaked.." he groans huskily, looking down, watching his fingers roll in and out of you before burying them deep inside. Each curl striking across your sweet spot, your climax coming fast.

"Eddie, I'm gonna cum! I-I want to cum on your cock baby..." you beg and he pulls his fingers out, ramming into you with no warning.

"Yes!" you cry, his thick cock filling you, hitting deep inside.

Again and again, he thrusts roughly, your drenched pussy coating his cock as he glides in and out.

He smacks your thigh hard, the sting of his rings sending you over the edge. Your pussy spasms around his hard member as you scream his name into the air. Eddie continues plunging into you as you sink into the bed, the headboard slamming against the wall, a loud consistent knocking as he drives into you forcefully.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, your legs tremble wildly as Eddie strikes your skin repeatedly.

He reaches down, gripping your throat, squeezing tight as fucks your overstimulated pussy, the sheets below being soaked with your juices. You're nothing but a mumbling mess by the time he gives you one last thrust, pumping you full of his cum.

"Jesus Christ.." he pants, falling to the bed next to you.

You lay there trying to catch your breath, the smell of weed and sex lingering in the small hotel room. You roll over and lay your head on his sweaty chest, shutting your eyes, just listening to his heart pounding.

You both lay there silent for a few minutes, relaxing into each other, your bodies intertwined.

You feel his lips press into the top of your head and you smile against his chest.

"I love you, y/n." Eddie whispers, his voice tired and raspy, his eyes struggling to remain open.

"I love you, Eddie." you whisper back, allowing your mind to fully relax as you drift off to sleep.

Masterlist found here 🖤🖤🖤

[loserboysandlithium]

High On You: Eddie Munson One Shot

⚠️explicit sexual content. Minors DNI. Eddie eatin’ some ass. I won’t apologize. 🫣⚠️

Word count: 2.3k

*******

"This place is so nice.. fuck, come feel this comforter, baby." Eddie moans as he sprawls out on the hotel bed.

You giggle as you set down your suitcase and run to him tackling him into the fluffy blanket.

"Oh yeah, we're never leaving." he smiles, his hands immediately gripping your waist, holding you close to him.

"Two nights, Eds. We only have two nights." you pout, looking down into his deep brown eyes.

Two nights until you had to move on to the next stop of the tour, another new place, new faces, barely any time alone.

"I know, sweetheart. I know.." Eddie replies softly, his hands mindlessly rubbing up and down your legs as you straddle his lap.

"But tonight, we can stay in. Nothing but you, me, and a fat joint." he wiggles his eyebrows, making a smile appear on your face.

"That sounds almost perfect." you tease and he looks at you curiously.

"Almost?"

"Mhmm... you forgot the part where you make me scream your name all night.." you purr, watching Eddie's lips curl into a smile.

"Well that's just a given, baby." he smacks your ass playfully before flipping you over, his body pressing you into the mattress as you wrap your legs around his waist.

"I love you," you whisper against his lips.

"I love you, y/n."

*******

"What the fuck are you talking about?" you laugh as Eddie glares at you. Smoke hangs heavily in the air as you pass the joint back and forth. The curtains are drawn, the lights down low, the radio playing softly in the background. The perfect night to hide away from the outside world and just be with each other.

"I'm saying that I don't think anyone really landed on the moon, man. I think it was fake.. like some kind of distraction.." Eddie repeats for the fifth time, his face dead serious.

"You're so high." you burst out laughing and he groans tossing his head back into the pillow.

"You'll see... you just wait.." he sighs, staring up at the ceiling. You roll over on top of him and see his eyes narrowed.

"I believe you, baby," you say, fighting back a smile.

"You're so mean." he pouts up at you, his eyelids hanging low, his gaze glossy from the weed.

"What about aliens?" you tease him, making him roll his eyes before he pinches your side, causing you to squirm.

"You think you're funny.." he grumbles, but his hands contradict his grumpy attitude as they begin to roam across your body. You lean over, snubbing the joint out in the ashtray as Eddie's ringed fingers grope your ass.

You lean back over and bring your lips to his neck, planting slow kisses up and down. He moans loudly as you swirl your tongue around his ear, biting down on his earlobe, and tugging gently.

Your mind is calm and relaxed, the high making you feel incredible, warm, and really fucking horny.

You run your hand down his chest slowly as your lips lock onto his neck sucking harshly. You hear a rumble come from his chest as your hand slips into his sweats and meets his cock, stroking slowly.

You feel his member growing harder and harder beneath your touch.

"I want you in my mouth, Eds." you purr in his ear and he lets out a breathless chuckle.

"Please." he rasps. You crawl down, placing yourself between his legs, quickly pulling his sweats down, his cock slapping against his stomach. You immediately take him into your mouth, your tongue swirling around his thick member.

"Fuck y/n.. goddamn baby.." his voice is slow and smooth as his brown eyes remain locked on you.

You moan onto his cock, slurping and sucking, making his hips jolt upwards as his ringed fingers grasp onto the sheets.

"Sh-shit.." he stammers, his hips starting to lift again and again, driving his cock deeper. You slide your mouth off of him making him whimper before you position yourself on your hands and knees.

"Fuck my throat, Eddie."

"I fucking love you.." he groans deeply, kneeling on the bed.

He leans in kissing you once before his lips meet your ear.

"Are you sure you can take it, hmm?" he taunts, his tone dark.

"Yes, Eddie." you nod, feeling his lips against your cheek.

"I don't want to be easy.." he admits lowly, his lips still traveling across your cheek.

"Don't be. I can take it, baby." you moan as he suddenly takes your nipple in his fingers, twisting gently.

He sits back up and you watch him take his hard cock in his hands, stroking slowly. You open your mouth, tongue out flat, waiting for him to use you.

Eddie's glazed eyes bore into yours as he brings his tip to your tongue. He guides himself inside, your eyes almost instantly filling with tears as he pushes further into your throat.

One of his hands cups your cheek, and the other pulls your hair back, giving him a better view as he begins to thrust deep. You gag on his cock as his hips roll faster.

"Look at you." he praises, his grip tightening on your hair. You blink away tears as he continues to fuck your throat.

"You like that? Hmm.. You like sucking my dick?" Eddie burns, his arrogant attitude making you want to please him even more.

You nod and moan as he begins pressing your head down on his cock over and over.

"Good girl. Fuck, you're such a good girl." he pants as you deep-throat him.

You speed up, gagging and spluttering, spit seeping from the sides of your mouth. You can feel your throat beginning to get sore from his rough thrusts. But you loved when he used you for his pleasure. And he always returned the favor.

"I'm gonna cum, baby, don't stop.." Eddie pleads, his eyes shutting as his head falls back. You reach out, taking his cock in your hand as you stroke fast, continuing to suck, using your hand and mouth to bring him to his peak.

"Mmm. Oh shit... F-fuck.." he mumbles deeply as you taste his release on your tongue, his cock twitching as he cums. You swallow his cum as it sprays into your mouth in spurts, your eyes glued to his perfect face, watching as his lips part and his eyelids flutter rapidly.

"Fucking hell.." he chuckles breathlessly as you get up on your knees, inching closer to him.

His arm wraps around your lower back, pulling you flush against him as his lips crash into yours. You taste the weed as his tongue swirls delicately with yours. He kisses you tenderly, a complete contrast to his rough movements just moments ago.

He swiftly removes your t-shirt, his eyes roaming your body lustfully.

"Lay down, baby," he murmurs, his lips resting lightly on yours. You smile, lying back on the bed, your body shivering from the anticipation of what's to come.

You feel tingly all over from your high. Every touch makes your eyes fall shut as Eddie begins exploring your body with his lips.

He takes his time, slow kisses from your ankle all the way up to your hip bone.

"You're so perfect." he mumbles in between kisses, his lips soft and warm against your skin. He begins to suck harshly, littering your body with marks. His hands caress your curves, admiring every part of you as he sinks his teeth into you, leaving a trail of love bites in his wake.

Your skin is set ablaze with every graze of his fingertips, each flick of his tongue, every nip of his teeth.

Soft moans and the sounds of Eddie's lips on you are all that can be heard as he continues exploring your body meticulously. Your eyes hang low, your high adding even more pleasure. He yanks your panties down to your ankles and you kick them off with a giggle.

"I love every inch of your body, y/n.. So beautiful.. So fucking delicious.." he drawls just before his lips meet your warmth.

"Baby..." you let out a blissful sigh as he runs his tongue up and down your slit. He teases you, removing his tongue a second later, kissing the insides of your thighs, across your wet lips, shifting lower.

"Eddie.." you gasp, suddenly feeling his tongue in places he's never touched before. He licks a long strip, flattening his tongue, making you moan, your fingers clutching the sheets tightly.

Taking note of your reaction, he takes hold of your ass, spreading your cheeks, delving deeper with his tongue.

"Oh fuck..." you moan desperately as he starts kissing and sucking your ass, an entirely new sensation making your pussy dripping wet.

"Eddie, shit.." you breathe as he comes up from between your legs, his eyes full of lust.

"Get on your knees for me, baby," he demands, and you nod adamantly, flipping over to your stomach as Eddie grips your hips, pulling your ass in the air.

Your face presses into the sheets as he resumes his position behind you.

You struggle to form any words or thoughts as he swirls his tongue inside of you. You spread your legs wider, craving more of this unfamiliar feeling. It feels so good, so dirty, and fucking mind-blowing all at once.

He moans into you as he brings one hand to your pussy, slowly gliding his fingers through your folds as his tongue continues exploring your other hole.

"Holy shit.." you mumble into the sheets as his tongue dips into you again, his fingers begin thrusting in and out, your slickness coating them entirely. Your eyes fall shut as he starts fucking you with his tongue.

"Oh my god..." you let out a soft moan, his tongue slowly pressing deeper into your asshole as his fingers continue their motion, making your eyes flutter.

"More.." you whimper and you suddenly feel the loss of his tongue as he leans down to whisper in your ear.

"You're a dirty girl, y/n. Aren't you?" he hums deeply, his fingers still moving in and out of your warmth.

"Yes.." you whisper and he chuckles against your ear.

"You like that? Hmmm.. You like when I eat your ass?" he teases, his tone deep and raspy.

"Y-yes..." you murmur, your cheeks blushing profusely.

"Fuck, sweetheart... you're such a bad girl," he mutters, his voice sounds drunk with pleasure as his lips come to your ear once before moving down your back. Slow, wet kisses all the way down until he meets your lower back, shifting back down to your backside where he bites down, his teeth sinking in, causing you to cry out in pleasure.

Then he's back between your cheeks, no hesitation as his tongue swirls and flicks sending shockwaves throughout your body. His fingers dig into your skin as his lips continue sucking and moving wildly making your breathing increase, your moans getting louder and louder.

"Eddiee.. fuck.. Eddie..."

His name falls from your lips again and again. He spreads your legs, your knees sinking deeper into the mattress, giving him a better angle as he glides his tongue in and out, fingering your pussy at the same time.

Your back arches even more as you press yourself into him, his tongue moving at an insane pace, his fingers fucking you roughly.

"Make me cum.. Eddie, please. I need you." you mumble drunkenly.

Eddie moans hungrily, flipping you to your back once more, meeting your eyes.

"You're my little freak, aren't you?" he hums, his lips curled into a smirk.

"Yes.." you whimper desperately.

"So fucking wet..." he plunges his fingers into you, curling them with perfection, making your mouth fall open with a squeak.

"Fucking soaked.." he groans huskily, looking down, watching his fingers roll in and out of you before burying them deep inside. Each curl striking across your sweet spot, your climax coming fast.

"Eddie, I'm gonna cum! I-I want to cum on your cock baby..." you beg and he pulls his fingers out, ramming into you with no warning.

"Yes!" you cry, his thick cock filling you, hitting deep inside.

Again and again, he thrusts roughly, your drenched pussy coating his cock as he glides in and out.

He smacks your thigh hard, the sting of his rings sending you over the edge. Your pussy spasms around his hard member as you scream his name into the air. Eddie continues plunging into you as you sink into the bed, the headboard slamming against the wall, a loud consistent knocking as he drives into you forcefully.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, your legs tremble wildly as Eddie strikes your skin repeatedly.

He reaches down, gripping your throat, squeezing tight as fucks your overstimulated pussy, the sheets below being soaked with your juices. You're nothing but a mumbling mess by the time he gives you one last thrust, pumping you full of his cum.

"Jesus Christ.." he pants, falling to the bed next to you.

You lay there trying to catch your breath, the smell of weed and sex lingering in the small hotel room. You roll over and lay your head on his sweaty chest, shutting your eyes, just listening to his heart pounding.

You both lay there silent for a few minutes, relaxing into each other, your bodies intertwined.

You feel his lips press into the top of your head and you smile against his chest.

"I love you, y/n." Eddie whispers, his voice tired and raspy, his eyes struggling to remain open.

"I love you, Eddie." you whisper back, allowing your mind to fully relax as you drift off to sleep.

[thequeendesi]

hiii!! okay forgive me bc i’ve ever actually requested something before but could you write a fluffy fezco vibe where it’s the readers first time smoking (with him, they’ve gotten high before) and they’re being really funny and silly back and forth?

Dating Fez was definitely something… new. You’ve dated nearly all types. The jock, the alternative, the musician, the nerd, and now, the dealer. Surprisingly, he wasn’t your original dealer. You used to buy from sketchy people until your best friend, now estranged, Rue, told you about Fezco O’Niell.

“You wanna hit this, ma?” Fez asked, holding the fresh lit blunt. “Why not?” You shrugged. You weren’t a roller, you didn’t really know how to. Normally, you used a pipe, or a bong. Fez took a hit, then passed to you.

“Thank you.” You said, taking the blunt in between your index and thumb. You took a hit and leaned back against the couch the two of you were sitting on. You blew the smoke out and passed the blunt back to him.

“You ever put food in before a smoke sesh?” You asked him. “Nah. But that’s a good idea. We should’ve done that, huh?” Fez took another hit, passing it back.

“To late now.” You laughed and took another hit. “You ever think about aliens when high?” Fez asked. “Definitely.” You said, before blowing the smoke out.

“You think they fly pass earth and go ‘ew’?” You asked him, passing him the blunt. “I think they purposefully go out of the way to not pass the earth.” You followed up, answering your own question.

“I think all kinds of shit when high, ma.” He took a longer hit. “You know who’d be fun to smoke with?” He asked after blowing the smoke in your face. “Mm? Who?” You asked, looking at him, eyes already half-lidded.

“Adam Sandler. But the character he plays in That’s My Boy.” He answered his question, passing the blunt. “Oh true! I’d smoke with Adam Sandler in general… or like…” you paused before giggling and taking another hit. “I forgot.” You blew out the smoke.

“No no, I got it. My dream smoke circle consists of,” you passed the blunt before holding your hand out. “Seth Rogan, Seth McFarlane, Snoop, Pete Davidson, Adam Sandler, Matthew Lillard, and Tom Kenny.” You listed.

“Tom Kenny? The fool who played SpongeBob?” He asked, hitting the blunt then passing it back to you.

“I feel like he’d keep me laughing.” You shrugged, hitting the blunt, coughing a little.

“Why y’a’int list me?” Fez picked. “I keep you laughin’.” He half smiled. “You do, but I get to smoke with you.” You nudged him, passing it back.

“You ever get to thinking about conspiracy theories?” You asked him, passing him the blunt. “Conspiracy theories? Like Loch Ness and shit?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Exactly like that.” You said.

“You got one?” He took a hit of the nearly finished blunt. “I do. It’s gonna sound dumb.”

“Nah, lay it on me, mama.” He placed his elbow on the armrest, and held his head up with his hand. “Ok, so, what if all those mythical creatures ‘nd shit existed?” You paused, looking at him while you took a hit, and passed it to him.

“Possible.” He acknowledged. “What if they were real, but, they died and shit.” You said, trying to see if he was following your train of though.

“Mhm?” He took the last hit of the blunt and put it in the ashtray. “And what we see now are their ghosts?” You asked.

“See, you got me. But here’s where you lose me,” he adjusted himself so he was sitting in a way that faced you completely, which had you follow suit.

“What about when people see them in groups, like Bigfoot and shit?”

“Right… maybe they fucked and made more?” You laughed, which made him chuckle. “So this is what you think ‘bout when you smoke?” He asked. “Yup.”

“You think mermaids are real too, dontcha?” He leaned against the couch. “A thousand percent. Yes.” You nodded your head. “What you don’t?”

“No proof.” He shrugged.

“Exactly why I believe.” You added. “Over ninety-somethin’ percent of the ocean ain’t been explored. How do we know they don’t exist?” You questioned his reasoning. “Got me there mama.” He nodded.

“Wanna go get some McDonald’s?” He asked, standing up. “Oh God, yes.”

“You’ll say that later.”

[shiftythrifting]

Pig toy box posted on Facebook Marketplace, $60. Looks like the pig from Back at the Barnyard.

Old McDonald's toy display for $150.

Horse girl bed with tiny stables built into the base, that horse is so disheveled and tired looking. At first glance I thought it was photoshopped into the picture. $800

The scariest ashtray I've ever seen. $50.

"Strange, alien hunk of something

What mysterious object has fallen from the sky and into my yard I cannot fully discern. It has an eerily radioactive lime green coloring, though my Geiger counter registers no dangerous emissions. Exactly what you need if you’re hoping to lure extraterrestrial treasure hunters to your home." This one is a bargain, only $10!

Admin Sam here, my gram would have 100% carted that Ronald home the second she saw it

[antigrav-boy]

My favourite quotes from The Cerritos Command Crew

Captain Carol Freeman

"Ugh. I don't know why I keep giving alien street food a chance. It's always such a gamble"

Commander Jack Ransom

"Hey! I'm supposed to press the button, you sexy bastard!"

"This is my universe, you steamy hunk!"

Lieutenant Shaxs

"I'm going to fight! I'm going to get revenge! I'm… going to make a cute little ashtray for my incense. It's going to look like a puppy."

Chief Medical Officer T'Ana

"Oh come on. I just revived him. Everybody out! Give me 30 cc's of whatever just worked a [bleep] minute ago"

Lieutenant Commander Andy Billups

"I'm fine! The doc just needs to stay in her lane because I don't go down to her sickbay and tell her how to hypo her sprays!"

[sugar-grigri]

I love this chapter so much I could talk about it for hours, so here's another idea out of the blue.

I love how many have brought up the fact that the first thing Denji offers is a sexual favor.

Which shows how he'd have no qualms about dehumanizing himself again, doing things that are humiliating for him, bargaining with himself...

But from a more meta and narrative point of view, it's also fascinating to see how Chainsaw Man is a work that deconstructs itself in order to reconstruct itself.

Denji is Fujimoto's favorite character, and I think it's purely out of personal affection, but also out of a sense of accomplishment and pride in the character. Denji reflects the wild, brutal phrasing of his own personality.

He's also a character who represents a work in his own right, as his development is the foundation of the whole of Part 1.

Throughout this part, Denji grows, matures and, above all, ceases to see himself as a tool.

Freeing himself from alienation through love

Returning to the beginning by proposing something as degrading as offering his tongue as an ashtray

One might think of this as a kind of retrograde, an unhealthy step backwards, a Denji who retracts his steps and resumes his bad habits.

These are indeed bad biases, extremely bad habits that persist in automatically proposing proposals that are degrading to himself, who has grown up with such difficulty and progressively, and who was finally blossoming as the teenager he is.

But without justifying these bad habits, the character of Denji

He's a boy ready to destroy the narrative foundation of the very work he embodies.

Chainsaw Man is ready to become this miserable little orphan

all ready to be erased

But this time for love

All will be erased if it's to protect his own

*takes their microphone* Ladies and Gentlemen, confirmation that our beautiful Chainsaw Man will fade away with his own story at the end.

Since this ultimate devotion is Denji's way of loving

[alcinaslittlemaid]

Sick Doll🌡️ + Bad Dream💤

Papawise x fem!reader

Warnings: emetophobia, sickness symptoms,

Fluff, papa being a sweet old man, but a little suggestive!

Summary: You have a sick bug, papa takes care of you❤️

“Bleughhhh” You retched into the toilet, your mouth had been spewing vomit all morning and most of the night. You were exhausted, your vision was spotting, your brain was being smacked constantly with a frying pan, your stomach was twisting into a pretzel, not for the right reason this.

You gagged, kneeling by the toilet bowl with your shaking hand over your mouth,

God I wish papa was here…. You sighed and stood almost downing bottle beside you.

Dollyyyyy…..

Dollfaceee……

Does Babydoll need her papa?…..

You shook your head, thinking the voice was your brain hallucinating. You lurched carelessly back to your bedroom

“Hmmmn I wonder if papas home?” You pondered hopping down the stairs cautiously, almost smacking face first into the wall beside you.

You could hear papa talking to someone, his gruff voice an almost immediate comfort to you

“Yeah, but what happens when that kid gets away pen? Huh? You have to keep your eyes and mind on the prize and another thing-“ He stopped, noticing that you were stood in the doorway listening.

Papa was sat in his caramel brown, arm chair, puffing on a cigar, propped up by pillows for his sore back. Last of the summer wine was playing on his tv.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to evesdrop sugartits” he puffed on his cigar blowing the smoke at you, your peered away coughing on the fumes, noticing another familiar clown looking at you in that usual vintage clown suit “Hiii Y/n~” penny squeaked giving you a tight hug, a thick alien purr rumbled in his chest.

Papa was looking at you intently “Buttercup? Are you feeling okay?” He hummed “Y-yeah I’m fine”

“Mutton chops we know when you’re lying” they both chimed together “Back in my day, you know where lying would get you?” Papa growled lowly “W-where?” You swallowed hard slowly backing away.

This man was unpredictable. “A spanking”

“You’re not too old to go over my knee sugar~” he teased making you blush slightly.

You glanced up, a thick drop of Drool from penny’s cherry lip “eugh pen”

“Don’t change the subject doll” He stubbed the cigar out in the ashtray “Come here~ Come to papa~” he patted the silky thigh of his clown suit, You nodded, wondered over and sat on his lap. He smiled and scrunched his clown nose, pressing his hand to your forehead “Awhhh my little kitten is sick”

“Your forehead is cold and clammy dolly”

He cooed

“Penny~ Looks like we’re gonna have to play doctor-“ papa opened his eyes, there penny was stood in a nurses uniform, holding a needle with a sharp syringe “Pennywise loves to play….” He huffed “Doctorrrrr”

You stared at him in disbelief and shock

“Woah woah woah penny! No!” Papa held you close to his chest “sugardoll shhh it’s okay”

Papa lifted you into his arms, cradling you “papas girl aren’t you doll” he cooed kissing your nose “come on, let’s climb the wooden stairs to Bedfordshire” papa chuckles at his little joke before lifting you bridal style, carrying you up to your bed, pennywise following behind.

“B-But Papaaaah I’m not-“ you were soon cut off by your own yawn, you body and mind betrayed you “Come on doll~” he carefully tucks you in “Papas sweet little girl” he kisses the top of your head and tucks you into bed, placing some ibuprofen on the bedside table.

Later that evening, You aggressively tossed and turned in the blankets, kicking and squirming in the sheets. Your heart was racing, your body sweating.

Your vision distorted and blurry, the room was spinning violently

“Ahh-ahhh Uhh” you glanced over at what was once your chair, but not sat a 6ft creature staring back at you.

Your about to scream when it crawls towards you, prowling and screeching, it’s slender black arms and pointed teeth glare at you, it’s sharp claws ready to rip into your flesh, it suddenly pounces on you.

“Ahhhh! Shit-“ You woke up in a cold sweat, your mind drowning in terror and your head spinning with a throbbing

headache.

The door swung open briskly, papa was stood in the doorway “Babydoll? What’s wrong I heard screaming?” Papa rushed in, he was donned in a silk dressing gown “My dear? What’s wrong?” He asked

taking a seat beside you placing his hand on your forehead “Oh sugar doll your sweating profusely, here drink some fluids, keep hydrated” papa stroked your head, nuzzling his hand into your hair handing you a glass of water “I just- I had a bad- I had a horrible dream, where a creature was about to rip me to shreds and and and” You practically chugged the water from the glass in pure thirst “Then I remember floating- fuh- floating towards a bright yellow- no three bright yellow orbs of light I felt my body floating off my bed-“

“Pennnnnyyyy” Papa huffed looking over at your wardrobe, penny’s glowing yellow eyes burned from the darkness “Whhhhhaaaaaat?” He giggled with a sadistic smile “Did you?” He snarled “Mayyybbbeeee, oh come on old man, a little fear never hurt anyone” he chuckled causing a thick glob of drool to spatter against the floor, you saw papa rolling up his newspaper, thrashing penny over the head harshly with it “You Stupid courteous fool!” He snapped “Aghhh! Ow ! Ow !ah” Penny hissed looking over at you “Your gonna pay for that bitch” He growled again, a playful tone in his voice.

“Pennywise the dancing clown! Apologise to y/n right now” papa growled

“Ughhhh fine” Pennywise approached your guest bed “I’m sorry for frightening and tenderising the little lambs meaty flesh” Pennywise drooled over you, his teeth sharpening “Pennnyywiseee” Papa lifted the paper again “Ugh I’m only kidding” pennywise joked wrapping his arms around you “I wouldn’t hurt a thing” He purred, his mood changing almost drastically “Good boy” Papa smiled sitting on your bed again “You feeling okay doll?” Papa asked, looking at you as you lay curled up in the blankets.

You nodded, another yawn leaving your lips “You want me to stay with you until you fall back asleep?” He asked stroking your head to which you nodded again, resting your head on his pillow “Alright sweet doll” He smiled,

And with that, pennywise snuggled up next to you and you both fell asleep, papa watched over you with a warm smile, staying by you all night.

🖤❤️

[aintgonnatakethis]

Fun Line Tag Game

Thank you @lancedoncrimsonwings for tagging me!

Rules: Post a line that you're tremendously pleased by and a line that’s just out-of-context ridiculous

I'm taking massive creative licence with what the word 'line' means, but cut me a break 😂 Both these excerpts are from the untitled 450k SGU story I was working on during lockdown and have recently been rereading, setting aside bits that I like and think I can use in other stories.

Pleased by - Telford is the one to recruit Rush, Rush bonds in strange ways:

"Do you have any--" He paused to inhale more smoke because he was still feeling twitchy and he needed to focus. "Good stories?" "About aliens I've killed," Telford replied casually. It wasn't a question but Rush shrugged anyway. "That's really what you want to know." "In for a penny," Rush muttered. His cigarette had burned down and he ground it into the ashtray and lit another. Telford shook his head and Rush was weighing up his options on how to get him to talk when he shrugged carelessly. "Before we practically wiped the Goa'uld out, they used to camp down in lakes when there weren't any hosts around. Pretty much impossible to see them if they didn't surface and we couldn't avoid every body of water we came across. Kid called Murray was washing dirt off his hands when one of them came out of the water and burrowed straight into him." The detached, impersonal way Telford was recounting the memory made Rush feel sick, even though he had asked for it. He wanted to know this. He did. "One of the other guys held him down and I tried to pull it out. It was young and hadn't aimed quite right; got more of his shoulder than his neck, so it couldn't wrap around his spine. We'd gotten to him quick and I managed to pull it free." Telford took a last drag and flicked the stub out of the window. "It brought his shoulder blade with it. But hey. He lived." Rush felt cold and shivery, but he deserved this. He’d asked for it. "What did it feel like?" From the corner of his eye he saw Telford look at him but refused to turn himself. There was a long silence and he thought he wouldn't get an answer. "Like… a baby eel," Telford said finally, "before they get their tough skin. Too soft for what it was." Have you killed a lot of baby eels, Rush wanted to ask. He couldn't seem to get his tongue to work though, which was probably a blessing. He imagined smooth skin beneath his hands, slimy and slightly wet from a lake. He imagined the blood, the screaming, having to pull a man's bones out through his skin; because it was to save him, from something worse, from walking around in his own skin a prisoner. He imagined dropping the alien on the ground and crushing it beneath his boot. He imagined never being able to relax around water again.

Ridiculous - completely normal and safe things to say when you're being "interviewed" by the US military:

The first man hummed irritably and shuffled his papers again. "You are not a US citizen. Who did you vote for when you were based in the UK?" The sudden change of gears made Rush laugh. "You’re asking me about my political opinions?" They all looked at him expectantly. The ice still hadn’t worn off and Rush didn’t know what to say, so he said the first thing that came into his head. "I’ve always thought communism was quite good."

Tagging: @fortunatetragedy @the-golden-comet @moltenwrites @viscerawrites @aggsh-shs + OPEN