#alice ���mommy issues” wu gulliver
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Chat, I regret to inform you that I have added a new hyperfixation…so…
Agatha All Along Incorrect Quotes!
Alice: Hold the fuck up.
Also Alice, crawling into Lilia’s lap: It’s me. I’m the fuck up. Hold me.
Rio: I have an idea!
Jen: No murder.
Rio, sighing petulantly: I no longer have an idea.
Lilia: I have a bad feeling about this…
Agatha: What do you mean?
Alice: Don’t you ever get that little voice in the back of your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?
Agatha: No.
Jen: That actually explains so much.
Lilia: As far back as I can remember, I’ve always had this little voice in my head telling me to “live it up today, because there’s not gonna be a lot of tomorrows”.
Agatha: You do realize there’s medication designed to get rid of those kinds of voices, right?
Teen: A bird flew in through my window and I’m trying to befriend it.
*later*
Agatha: Why don’t you quit bothering me and go talk to your bird friend?
Teen: Matthew and I are not speaking at the moment.
*the coven, huddling together behind a makeshift shelter to shield themselves from repeated gunshots*
Alice, hastily shoving the others behind her so she can return fire: Agatha, do you have any idea who would want to shoot you?!
Agatha, squashed between Jen and Rio: Many people want to shoot me. I take great pride in that!
Jen, glaring at the group as she hands over bail money:
Alice, tapping her shoulder: What about Teen?
Jen, glaring more: I’ve got to bail him out too? Where’s Agatha?
Teen: No one called her. We used Lilia’s phone call to call Alice and Rio’s to call you. Then Rio used my phone call to vote for American Idol.
Rio: :)
Jen: Rio isn’t answering her phone.
Agatha: Here, I’ll try.
Jen: Alice and I have tried six times each, what makes you think that-
Rio, picking up on the first ring: Hey, sweetheart.
Agatha: The ends always justify the means!
Jen: Do you know who said that?
Agatha: Was it Oprah or someone nice and great like that?
Jen: It was Machiavelli. A decidedly non-Oprah like person.
Jen: I bet you didn’t even finish the thing I asked you to get done!
Agatha: For your information, I most certainly did! Got it done last night!
Teen, whispering to Agatha: You didn’t get it done, did you?
Agatha, whispering back: I don’t even know what she’s talking about.
Lilia: I am at a loss for words!
Teen, glancing at the camera like his mom like he’s on The Office: Despite being lost for words, Lilia yelled at us for the next 45 minutes.
Agatha, carrying Señor Scratchy out of the room:
Señor Scratchy: *snuggles under her chin*
Agatha, kissing his head: You are being punished. Please stop being adorable. I love you.
Teen: I got a trampoline tent for summer sleepovers!
Jen, whispering to the other adult witches: …think of all the sex.
Alice: There are two types of people.
Rio: If you wanted to eat someone, you could put a fire under it and slowly roast them :)
Lilia: …three. Three types of people.
Jen, cautiously: I can’t believe I didn’t notice this before, but…Teen, you are a little crazy.
Teen: Aren’t we all a little crazy here, Jen?
Jen: No, I mean you’re aging-ballerina, child-chess-prodigy, professional magician kind of crazy.
Teen: It’s my mom’s fault. You know, we come from a Jewish family, but she used to tell me the reason Santa didn’t come was because my room was too dirty.
Rio: I’ve come looking for trouble. And if I can’t find trouble, I WILL create some.
Alice: Do you trust me?
Lilia, smiling proudly at her: Yes.
Alice, who has been completely panicking: Wait, what? Why?!
Agatha, awkwardly glancing around for help: Er…Alice, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know what to say to people who are crying. So I’m just gonna hope that the tone of my voice makes you think I do, okay, sweetie?
Alice, sniffling: …thanks, Agatha.
Agatha, patting her on the back with a bit too much enthusiasm: No problem, kid.
Lilia: I told Agatha about it weeks ago!
Teen: She WHAT?
Agatha: What??? Lilia says insane shit all the time, how was I supposed to know this one was true?!
Lilia: Bank accounts are a sham created by the shadow government!
Agatha: SEE?!
BONUS:
Wanda, watching from the afterlife: so…when exactly do kids grow out of that whole emo, rebellious stage?
Lorna, shrugging: I don’t know. Alice is still in it.
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#rio vidal#lilia calderu#jennifer kale#alice wu gulliver#teen agatha all along#billy kaplan#señor scratchy#agatha all along spoilers#Agatha all along incorrect quotes#alice “mommy issues” wu gulliver#agathario#we love our dangerous lesbians#we were robbed of alice getting to use her ex cop skills and I’m salty about it#agatha is a problem child#rio is a menace to society#they left her in jail#she broke out#I think I’m funny#found family#mentions of wanda maximoff and lorna wu#alice needs a damn hug#and so does teen (I can’t call him billy quite yet I don’t know why)#lilia is the friend-turned-mother-figure that alice and teen both desperately need (sorry agatha you don’t count right now)#tw: sex jokes#tw: violence jokes#really just tw: rio vidal#sometimes family is a traumatized teen; the stressed witch he designated as his pseudo mom; her psycho ex wife; her mlm friend;#a reluctant nepo baby with depression; and the crazy psychic grandma they found on the side of the road
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Agatha is innocent
i’m a full Agatha defender for life. In the latest episode when she killed Alice it wasn’t her fault. In WandaVision we learn that her mother tried to kill her when she was only 16, her mother saying that she was dangerous, she said “I can’t control it! Only if you’d teach me!” meaning she never had a proper lesson on how to control her magic which was not even close to her fault because her mother had a coven, they could’ve taught her. We also see in that scene that they attack her while she’s tied or unable to move by her own wishes with magic bindings. In the newest episode her mother has her body in a magic bind held in the air while she’s forced to just watch as her mother takes control, Alice steps in to save her using the magic but it triggers the trauma response from centuries ago where she was being held by some magic force while someone forced their magic into them, not to mention the fact her mother was possessing her body which was probably replaying horrible memories from that trail. So we know that Alice tries to save her by directing magic straight at her while she’s in a magic bind triggering a trauma response that kills her. But at the end when she told Teen or Billy these mean things it because she gradually starting to go back to her old ways due to almost regressing back to when she was 16!!!
Also I think Rio is alive and in the last scene she was just collect Alice becuase she Lady Death and all, Rio isn’t dead guys!!
#agatha harkness#agatha all along#rio vidal#agatha x rio#agatha spoilers#agatha all along episode 5#evanora harkness#alice wu gulliver#mommy issues#billy maximoff#teen agatha all along
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I’m actually losing it I haven’t felt this feral since after Good Omens season 2. Pray for my girl Agatha to be freed of the trauma from her bitch mom. And nooo Alice deserved to die the least I’m actually gonna cry. Agathario better be endgame or I’m actually gonna die.
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Do you have any headcanons for Alice?
ty for the ask anon! i’ve been buzzing to get these of my chest!!!!!
my alice wu gulliver headcanons:
( again, as i did with lilia, i’m ignoring her death, try me marvel)
alice does boxing, she started after she joined the police training and never left it ( HAVE U SEEN HER ARMS????? TELL FUCKING TALE RIGTH THERE)
not a hc, but just a quick moment of appreciation for ali ahn’s arms and abs CAUSE MY LORD-
occasional weed smoker, not much of a drinker though.
is appalled by the lack of security in agatha’s house, and is constantly berating the other witches careless with their beings ( she has has a lot of experience with how to take care of her privacy, given not only her police training, but being the kid of a famous rockstar).
agatha and rio kinda adopted her, in a very kooky way, they just started treating her like a kid someday and she went with it.
shes the only one that indulges in letting jen do her makeup. and they very much look like THAT picture of the lesbians while at it ( . )
mommy issues WHO? ( not mommy kink tho, let’s get that very clear and out of the way)
she uses she/they pronouns.
alice knows how to play the piano professionally. once, at one of the covens lil meetings, she and lilia started a lil jazz duo that blew all of the other gays away ( ref to my lilia hc post)
she owns the biggest hair die collection in north west view and constantly changes the color of her hair ( she finds it fun to change it up for birthdays, she went green on rio’s, pink on jen’s, purple on agatha’s etc.)
people underestimate alice’s and teens relashionship, those are BESTIES RIGTH THERE, they created the gay pining witches support club and are the sole members of it!
she kept her police uniform and wore it on halloween ( jen had the hots for her the whole fucking time)
this might be a bit out of line, but i’m pretty sure she games! and not like calming relaxing animal crossing type of shit, no that woman is full on playing overwatch.
alice prefers sweet over salty.
i cannot stress alice’s and teen’s friendship enough!!!! they have an unbeatable bond.
alice owns a stick and poke thing and keeps it on her car’s drawer. on one eventful drunken evening she and all of the coven witches (excluding teen because of his age ofc) got matching stick and poke tattoos.
a free lil alice pic for yall!!
#(ali ahn#i am free this thursday. and this friday. and this saturday too. in fact i am free in any day you are queen 😝)#your basic queerie#agatha all along#lilia calderu#agatha harkness#patti lupone#agatha x rio#rio vidal#kathryn hahn#ali ahn#jennifer kale#alice wu gulliver
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After Shift – Lilia Calderu X Alice Wu Gulliver
Words: 1,4k
Warnings: mentions of getting high and implied smut, but fluff in general
Tag list: @confuseuniverse @jubshead @yourbasicqueerie @kenzie-floops (if you want to be tagged or taken from the list, just let me know)
English isn't my native language, but I'm trying my best, xoxo!
***
It was late at night when Alice arrived from her shift. She was tired and her stomach was growling, complaining about the lack of food in it.
Sighing heavily while taking off her jacket, Alice had a great decision to make. Would she head straight to bed hoping breakfast would be ready when she wakes up the next morning, or would she dare to risk herself in the kitchen and prepare something herself?
Her stomach growled again and her decision was made. It would be impossible to get to bed starving that way.
Going to the kitchen, she went through the cabinets until she found some instant ramen and took it out. Putting water to boil in a pot, she ran through her socials while waiting for it. It was at that moment that a familiar soft voice reached her ears.
– Oh, you’re already home.
Alice lifted her eyes from her phone, finding Lilia’s frame at the door. The woman was in her beige nightgown and robe, barefooted as she stared at Alice with her big doe eyes.
– Did I wake you? – Alice asked, feeling a bit guilty since she hadn’t been quiet at all when entering home or getting in the kitchen. She almost looked like a child when caught doing something wrong.
– Not at all… – Lilia said while approaching the woman to look at what she was cooking. – What are you boiling water for?
– Uh… Instant ramen? – Alice said, lifting the packaging to show her.
Lilia let out an exasperated sound.
– I don’t know why y’all like to eat this junk.
– Well, it’s not like I know how to cook complex things. – she shrugged.
At that, Lilia turned off the stove.
– Lilia! – Alice complained and it almost sounded like a tantrum. – I’m starving, I have to eat something!
Lilia held up a hand to shut her.
– I'll heat up the soup from dinner for you. – she left no room to retort. – You go and take a shower, I’ll take it to you when it’s ready.
She tapped Alice’s chin and nodded firmly, sending her away from the kitchen. Alice had no choice but to obey.
Heading to her room, she took her jacket with her. Starting to undress, still in the corridor, she headed straight into her bathroom, taking her time to shower and relax after such a hard day. Under the hot water, she couldn’t help but let a small smile creep into her face. She always felt so warm by Lilia's care and, deep down, she knew that her relationship with the woman tickles her mommy issues.
After showering, Alice dried herself with no rush. She had just slipped into her panties when Lilia stormed inside her room, talking about how the soup was a true meal and not some processed shit before she realized the state the other witch was in.
The two fell into an awkward silence. Lilia holding a tray with a bowl of soup while Alice was frozen in place with her hands still on the elastic of her panties. Lilia's eyes rummaged up to down Alice's body before she finally said:
– Sorry, I should've knocked.
Alice quickly put on her top before searching for her shorts.
– It's okay, I don't mind.
Lilia moved to put the tray on the bedside table before sitting down at Alice's bed.
– With a body like yours, I wouldn't mind too. – she commented, her eyes watching how Alice's biceps flexed as she rummaged through her closet.
Alice felt a bit shy, feeling the gaze of the other woman on her. Yet, it didn't prevent her from answering:
– Your body is beautiful too… Soft in all the right places.
A low chuckle escaped Lilia, making a shiver run down Alice's spine.
– Thank you, dearie.
As Alice finally put on her shorts, she felt brave enough to face Lilia again, finding the woman sitting comfortably at her bed, her legs exposed to sight. Lilia eyed her again, her eyes nothing but caring this time.
– Why don't you sit down to eat and let me comb and braid your hair? – she suggested while tapping the bed.
Alice's heart fluttered and she found herself nodding. Sitting close to the bedside table, Alice started eating as Lilia took the hairbrush and combing cream. As she put herself to work, she asked:
– How was work?
– Tiring… Two assholes decided to fight at my shift.
– Is this why the skin of your ribs is purple?
Alice frowned and lifted her shirt to check on herself.
– Where? – she asked, not noticing anything on her body.
She felt Lilia's hand run up her back and another shiver ran down her spine. When the hand pressed down on a specific spot of her ribs, she shivered again but in pain.
– Right here. – Lilia said before retrieving her hand to keep combing Alice's hair.
When she finished, she started braiding it.
– What about your day? – the protection witch asked quietly, resuming to eat.
– Pretty much the same… I had some clients, stopped Agatha and Jen from killing each other, kept Sharon company…
Alice giggled softly.
– Seems fun. – she teased.
– Yah? – Lilia muttered affectionately.
They focused on their tasks quietly and once Alice finished her meal, she waited patiently for Lilia to finish the braiding.
– Done. – she said admiring her work. It was beautiful how the colors of Alice's hair intertwined in the braid.
Lilia's hands laid on the younger’s shoulders, caressing them before asking:
– Are you full? Do you want more soup?
– I'm fine. – Alice said and turned around to look at the seer. – Thank you.
– You're welcome… – Lilia answered. – You know, it would be great if you learn how to cook two or three plates.
Alice shrugged.
– Well, I do know how to cook… a bit. Enough to not starve. – she said. – But I never had anyone to teach me. My mom was always busy with her tours.
Lilia looked empathetically to the woman, one of her hands going to the other face so she could push Alice's bangs behind her ear.
– I could teach you if you wanted. – she said softly. – What do you think?
Lilia was so close Alice could feel her breath against her face.
– Uh… I would like it, yes. – she managed to stutter.
Lilia's hand fell to her cheek and she caressed it with light feathered touches. Alice leaned towards it instinctively.
– Sometimes I forget how young you are compared to me… – she commented.
– Not that young, I'm in my forties already. – she retorted, subconsciously getting closer to Lilia, craving her touch.
Lilia smiled at that act. A smile that faltered when a shiver ran down her spine because Alice brushed her lips on the seer's pulse.
– I should get going, you need to rest. – she broke the moment.
But Alice seemed to have other plans, because she didn't let go of Lilia's pulse. The older lifted an eyebrow at the other witch.
– I… Can't you stay with me for a while? – Alice's voice was small and hesitantly.
It wouldn't be the first time they did something like that. The difference is that to get to the same bed, they would normally be drunk or high.
Lilia let herself fall to Alice's pillows, her skin and clothes contrasting with the bed. To Alice, she seemed like a light being falling directly into her dark sheets.
– Come here then, darling.
She said softly, already opening her arms to the younger. Alice didn't waste time before laying into her arms.
Hiding her face on Lilia's neck, the protection witch inhaled the woman’s scent, feeling that warm plump body dominating all her senses.
– Oh, you're so cold… – Lilia commented as she put the blankets over them.
– Good thing you're always so warm. – Alice mumbled against her skin, letting out a soft sigh. Lilia was the best person ever to cuddle.
The seer chuckled, her laugh rumbling through her chest, vibrating against Alice. The brunette leaned back just enough to look at the older witch and Lilia took advantage of that to catch Alice's lips on hers.
The ex-cop melted in her arms, reciprocating the kiss and holding the other’s face. She was about to swing a leg over Lilia, but was prevented from doing so.
– Go to sleep. – Lilia said against her lips. It wasn't an ask, it was an order. – I'll still be here when you wake up.
Alice looked at her through her heavy lids and nodded.
– Okay. – she stole a last kiss before burying her face back in Lilia's neck.
– Good night, doll.
– G’night, Lilia.
.
.
.
#agatha all along#fireseer#lilia x alice#lilia calderu x alice wu gulliver#lilia calderu#alice wu gulliver#eyes on fire#lilice#nightmare of homophobes#nightmare writes
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Character Analysis: Alice Wu Gulliver
Disclaimer: I don't read Marvel comics, so I don't know if Alice is mentioned in the comics and, if so, I don't know her role there. I am only talking about the Alice Wu Gulliver from the MCU (played by Ali Ahn), who is a precious baby who was rightfully protected by her mother, who loved her so much.
Okay, so first up: Alice has mommy issues. They've gotten better, I think, after episode four, but she definitely has a whole new batch of mommy issues, too. I have a pretty contentious relationship with my mother, but I know that she loves me and I love her. Alice, I believe, didn't really know that. She grew up thinking that her mother was "unwell" and that she cared more about her fans than she did about her own daughter, that her obsession with this curse was putting up a wall between them. And maybe it was, in a way.
But Lorna Wu did everything she possible could to ensure her daughter's safety. She probably tried dozens, hundreds, even thousands of protection spells before realizing that if she just had a popular enough song, then the spell might never have to end and her daughter would be protected for as long as possible. And she made that her legacy; protecting her daughter to the very end--and past--of her own life.
The fact that Alice didn't know that is heartbreaking.
And that's nothing to say of the lyrics of the song, which make a lump form in my own throat because all Lorna really wanted Alice to know is that she loves her and she would do anything to protect her, like any good mother should.
Example: "If I can't reach you, let my song teach you, all you need to keep our love alive. If I can't hold you, remember what I told you: it's the only way we survive. We survive!" This part specifically has me fucked up, because it's so filled with affection (holding her daughter? I'm crying) and implication that Lorna spent all her time with Alice trying to convey her love for her and how much she just wants her to be protected. It's very powerful. It's why I have listened to this song no less than 5000x over the last week (also to protect Alice ofc).
Also, Alice, despite having a complicated relationship with her mother, knew how to play every note of that song PERFECTLY on the piano. I bet you anything that her mother taught Alice herself how to play as many instruments as possible when she was little, so that she could play the song herself if need be. It's probably muscle memory for her at this point. This was probably their bonding time. I can see why Alice may have resented it (if I was forced to take part in a hobby by my seemingly neurotic mother, I would definitely be bitter about it), but everything Lorna did was for her. Lorna didn't even care about herself staying safe; all she wanted was for Alice to be protected.
Alice, herself, is also pretty remarkable. She was a cop, I think? So she got through the Academy and training and all that, but probably got canned because of this damn curse. She says that everything she touched turned to shit, so I can only imagine how hard her life must have been. I'm not sure that Lorna left her much else but that song and the tattoo she forced her to get at age 13.
But she's also incredibly kind. She talks to Teen with affection, talks to him like he's her equal, which is not common for a lot of people. She praises him and worries over him. She was the first one at his side in the booth after her curse threw him through that window. She helped dig Sharon's grave. She and Jen share some moments (am I the only one that ships them, btw?) And she and Lilia seem to have a good rapport going, as well.
Alice Wu Gulliver has a lot of baggage from a misunderstood childhood and a pretty shit life, but she's probably the person in that group with the biggest heart. She is very compassionate to all around her and I love that about her.
I really hope she makes it to the end (I hope they all do, but I'm trying not to have too much hope. Marvel has broken my heart before.)
We love Alice Wu Gulliver in this house. May she stay protected forever.
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𓂃🖊 ๋࣭⭑ masterlist ★ = smut
THE BOYS / GEN V
best mornings 『』 victoria neuman. fluff
guardian angel 『』 victoria neuman. shadow powers!reader. lots of exposition
celebration 『★』 sage. right after the season four finale
weed-smoking girlfriend 『』 sage. relaxing w/ her
jealousy, jealousy 『』 marie moreau. she gets jealous at the club
lost arm 『』 cate dunlap. hurt/comfort, post injury
CHALLENGERS
besties 『』 tashi duncan. just fluff
best friend 『』 tashi duncan. character exploration/me working through my own grief
cowgirl!tashi 『』 tashi duncan. pre-relationship fluff/flashback memory
robinhood!tashi 『』 tashi duncan. self-indulgent fluff
sugar mommy!tashi 『』 tashi duncan. more worldbuilding than actual commentary (you can see where my priorities lie.)
like them? 『』 patrick zweig. character study.
THE BEAR
blessed 『★』 sydney adamu
MARVEL
workplace distraction 『』 alice wu-gulliver
death's invasion 『』 rio vidal
GLEE
body issues 『』 quinn fabray
after midnight 『』 quinn fabray
★ = smut
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